Mi primera boda (My First Wedding) (2011) Movie Script
MY FIRST WEDDING
Let me tell you something.
Think twice before
getting married.
Especially, if you're going
to throw a party.
Let's begin with the catering
for 120 people:
it costs a real fortune.
And don't get me started
with the venue...
the photographer...
the video, the DJ...
the musicians, the suit,
the bride's dress...
It truly is absolutely mad.
And what for?
Vandalism.
Several months of preparation to
see how in a few hours...
a group of crazy people, supposed
to be your family and friends...
devour the food, break chairs,
trash the bathrooms...
and get all sweaty.
They only want to get drunk.
It is real disaster.
And if all that happens..
your party is a success.
But none of this makes any sense
if the one that ruins the party...
is the groom himself.
That's me, Adrin Meier.
Why am I ruining a 2,000 dollar
suit riding that horse?
VILLA MARA RANCH
I need to reach that sign
before that car does.
Rabbi Mendel,
I don't know his first name...
and Father Patricio,
I don't know his last name...
are traveling in that car.
Our plan is for them to officiate
at the wedding.
-Oh, yes.
-Oh, yes.
I'm a nonbeliever Jewish.
and my wife...
is a semi-believer Catholic.
So we thought it was a great idea
to make a mixed ceremony.
But when we made inquiries,
we discovered...
that none of the religions
accepts such a ceremony.
But there's always
a friend of a friend.
Apparently, Rabbi Mendel's
father came from Europe...
in the same ship than my
grandparents, Lzaro and Chuchi,
who separated recently.
And they are the parents
of Raquel, my mother...
who has been unhappily married
to his first husband Ral...
my father, for the last 40 years.
And Father Patricio
is the priest of the parish...
to which Delia contributes,
who is Marta 's aunt...
the lovely mother of Leonora...
who is the woman that I love
with all my heart...
my bride-to-be.
That's why they did us the favor
of coming here...
with a 25% increase
of each ceremony.
The party is not as expensive
as he says.
The problem is that Adrin has a
difficult relationship with money.
Nobody will charge you less
for a guest's service.
It is a wedding.
To me, it's not an expense.
It's an investment.
But... for him, money is an excuse.
It actually is a
conscious manifestation...
of an unconscious blockage.
Adrin does not want
to get married.
Three years ago, Leonora
went to a seminar on Lacan...
and ever since she
over-interprets the world.
To me, things are simpler.
For instance.
I hate wearing a necktie.
I don't feel asphyxiated
by the commitment...
of an ever-lasting relationship.
It just squeezes my neck.
The other day I said to her:
"My shoes hurt."
And she said: "You are afraid
of taking this step."
Alright, let's suppose
that the shoes thing...
is because of the hard leather.
What happened today
was not by chance.
It is highly significant.
Romans used to say:
"What happens at the wedding...
is a reflection of the future
of the couple."
And I believed that too.
That's why I wanted
a perfect wedding.
Yes. that's me.
Leonora Campos.
When I'm sad, I only get
better if I eat or if I run.
Maybe this wasn't the
best moment to do this.
Or the best place.
Let me give you my version
of what went through.
Are you aware that today
is the end of everything?
-No.
-You're wasting 20 years away.
I've known you
since third grade.
Today, you gotta back me up.
You know I always do.
But not today.
Listen to me.
Why don't you get a girlfriend?
I generously accepted
not having the bachelor party.
I hated that, but I'm OK.
But this is a funeral.
-There's no coming back from this.
-Get yourself a girlfriend.
You can do it. For real.
And what are you doing?
-Look at this.
-Don't do this.
Come on. Knock it off.
Please... can you just relax?
-Leonora will kill me.
-You are just a couple of kids.
Adrin, can I bother you
for a second?
-Can we check the itinerary?
-Yes.
Please... stop it.
-Tell me.
-The ceremony...
Just one thing. There's a guy
helping people to park their cars.
-Does he work for you?
-Yes, sure.
Oh, because he's asking for tips.
-But he's not forcing anyone.
-Oh. I see.
The ceremony begins
at 12:30 p.m.
-At 1:30 p.m... we serve lunch.
-Alright.
Then we have the waltz,
a dance section of 45 minutes...
the dessert,
another dance section...
at 5 p.m., the stand-up show.
then the videos, the cake...
-the garters...
-No, no garters.
-At 6:40 p.m... dessert.
-No garters.
At 7:40 p.m.,
another dance section.
After that, the toast,
and the best men's speeches.
-No, there won't be any best men.
-Why not?
We didn't reach an agreement
with Leo.
-Oh, well.
-Oh, well.
-How are you... my dear boy?
-Fine.
-Is there something wrong?
-No, not at all. Why do you ask?
-Because you seem nervous.
-You make me nervous, mom.
Oh, well. Did you know that 75%
of mixed couples don't work out?
-Don't start.
-That's according to the statistics.
Mom... don't you have
anything better to do?
Your father and I have
decided to continue paying...
for your medical insurance
for six months, just in case.
Thank you... mom.
It won't be necessary.
Chuchi doesn't want to sit
at the table with Lzaro.
You see? Endogamous
couples don't work either.
Your grandmother is not doing well.
It's a difficult situation.
And your grandfather behaves
as if he were a teenager.
It's not that bad, Raquel.
He's just enjoying things.
Yeah, right, for you
every-thing's simple.
You don't care if the family
breaks up.
Please... don't go there.
Don't go there.
Nobody asked for your opinion.
Don't talk.
This is a private conversation
between mother and son.
That's enough. If you excuse me,
I'll get married.
Wait a minute.
Tell me something:
isn't that your cousin Elena?
Wasn't she shopping?
Mica.
-Hello.
-Hi. Adri.
-How are you, Mica?
-Fine. Congratulations.
-Thank you. How are you?
-I'm doing fine. And you?
Are you nervous?
Yes...
I totally agree with you.
I'll see you... Hello... baby.
Why did it take you so long
to pick up the phone?
Honey, remember this
is a long-distance call.
Baby, I'm here with Delia.
She wants to give us something.
-Where are you?
-In my room.
And what happened with the whole
not-seeing-the-bride thing?
Come up here now.
It's important.
Alright. I'm on my way.
Alright. I'm on my way.
Adrin!
Miguel ngel.
I didn't expect to see you here.
-I'm the groom.
-That's why.
The wedding is the only ritual
where the victim...
has to pay all the expenses.
-That's a good one.
-Don't you forget it.
By the way,
I want you to meet Lala.
She's my latest carnal shelter.
Alright.
I'll see you around.
Enjoy the party.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Adrin!
Is there something more pathetic
than marriage, Lala?
Don't come in!
What's going on?
Shall I leave?
No, you can come in.
but you have to close your eyes.
Don't do this to me... baby.
You know I have no sense
of direction. I will fall.
-Who says I can't see you?
-It's a tradition.
You can't see the bride before
saying yes to the Lord.
But I don't believe in the Lord.
We've already talked
about the Lord.
-Open your eyes.
-Thank you.
Hello.
-How are you?
-I'm fine.
Here you go.
These are lovely, Delia.
Thank you so much.
-Have you seen these... baby?
-Yes, I have.
They were made by a
Salzburg's jeweler...
for my grandmother
over 100 years ago.
She would always say that
the gold was melted...
from Philip, The Fair's jewels.
That's amazing.
And my mother had them blessed,
when she went to the Vatican...
by Pope John Paul I, one week
before his assassination.
I didn't know anything about that.
Is he alright?
-Stop it, Adrin Meier.
-That happened a long time ago.
He started to mess with
economic interests.
Thank you, auntie.
It is going to be an honor
for me to wear these rings.
-The honor is all mine.
-I love you.
Can you keep them?
Have you ever seen
a bride's dress with pockets?
And when the firstborn arrives,
I have a cross for him...
that was blessed by
Pope John Paul II...
before the first attack.
Let's get out.
The bride has to finish up
preparing for the ceremony.
Alright. I'll kiss the bride first,
if you allow me, Delia.
Yes... yes.
-You owe me one.
-They are free!
I'm sorry... Delia.
I don't know how to
thank you for this.
-This is unbelievable.
-I'm glad to hear that.
Let me introduce you
to my grandfather Lzaro.
Delia.
-Pleased to meet you.
-I'm divorced.
-Excuse me.
-Is that so?
There's so many divorced people.
Why would you want
to stay married?
-What are you doing, Potz?
-I don't know. It just got stuck.
Fede, you don't even know
how to flush.
It's not my fault.
-It started to overflow.
-Get out of the way.
-It's overflowing from below.
-That's OK.
I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
I've already fixed it.
It was very simple.
That's because
you are an engineer.
It has nothing to do with this.
It's just common sense.
That's something
you don't seem to have.
I'm sorry.
Have you talked to Leo?
-About what?
-About me.
Remember I told you
I was practicing?
Oh, yes. But that's way
too complicated, Fede.
She has already planned
everything.
Please. ask her.
Alright.
-Are you going to clean this?
-Alright.
Cousin...
You're getting married.
I'll miss you a lot.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying here.
Don't I have
too much eye shadow?
To me, you're just fine.
But I could take a bit off.
You are beautiful.
Do you want to eat something?
-No, Ins, I'm on a diet.
-Yeah, me too.
-A bit more... please.
-Leonora.
Can I have Emanuel?
I need some final touches.
No, mom.
You've already stolen my dress
and you want my makeup artist?
I am the one who's
getting married.
Are you going to keep complaining
about the dress?
-Hello... gorgeous.
-Hello, Marta.
I don't know what the deal is
with the dress.
Get out. mom. Get out.
Your mother's dress is amazing.
She looks as if she were your sister.
I also loved it. We saw it at
a store and I told her I loved it.
I have to pee.
No... mom! What do you want?
-It's me again, baby.
-I'm in the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you something.
Come in. but don't look.
-Hello, lns.
-Hello. Adri. You look thinner.
Yes... Leonora bought me
a smaller suit.
She forced me to lose 10 pounds.
-But you look amazing.
-Oh, yes.
-Have you tipped the waiters?
-What for?
So they don't think
that we are stingy.
Excuse me,
are they working for free?
Don't be stingy, Adrin.
Tips are not included.
Then the stingy one is the owner
of the ranch, not me.
Let's not argue.
Give a tip to the waiters' boss.
I'll give you back the money.
-I have no cash.
-You never do.
-Oh, well.
-What did you want?
Did you know that Fede
is taking singing classes?
-He told me a thousand times.
-Yes, it's a bit weird.
The thing is that I thought
that maybe...
No.
No? You don't even know
what I was going to say.
Yes. I do. The answer is no.
It's enough with me taking care
of you not getting drunk...
and you want me to give
a mic to your cousin?
I'm sorry... but if I can't get drunk
at my own wedding...
Do it at one of your friends'.
-I'll see you at the altar.
-Zip it.
Yes. I do.
Yes. I do.
Yes... I do.
Yes. I do.
Yes. I do.
Yes. I do.
I do.
Yes...
I do.
Oh, no!
What are you doing?
Nothing.
-Are you looking for something?
-What do you think?
That you're looking for something.
Leonora's ring fell down.
It came down.
I think it fell around here.
She's going to kill you.
Shall I start to place
the guests?
We can begin as soon
as the priest and the rabbi arrive.
What are you going to do?
Do you know what he did?
Buy some time.
VILLA MARA RANCH
So? How's everything?
-Every-thing's perfect.
-No.
The altar is lovely.
The carpet, the flowers,
every-thing's like a dream.
-Almost every-one's here.
-Alright.
-Are the drinks cold?
-They are perfect.
-How's the catering?
-Delightful.
- Have they served the casseroles?
- Not yet.
Your mother told Mara there was
too much food around.
I saw Miguel ngel.
- Is he here?
- Yes.
And he came with
a very beautiful girl.
- Wasn't he on the guest list?
- Yes.
But I didn't think he would come.
He always hated weddings.
- Did he tell you anything?
- About what?
I don't know.
Does Adri know
about Miguel Angel?
Yes. of course.
Isn't he upset about him coming?
Yes. He hates him.
But he acts as if he didn't care.
I told him that if his coming here
would create a conflict...
we didn't have to invite him.
And he said that if Miguel ngel
could still cause a conflict...
in our relationship, there were
more reasons to invite him.
-I didn't understand a thing.
-Yes, it is a twisted idea.
I shouldn't have invited him.
Did he come with his
current girlfriend?
I don't know who she is.
But she's very beautiful.
I think I'm in love.
Marriage is like a besieged city.
The ones out want to get in.
And the ones in want to get out.
I should have known that before.
And what's your side,
Miguel ngel?
-I'm neutral.
-That's just too simple.
It's the only way
of having a fine wine...
with three beautiful women
and not suffering the consequences.
What can you tell me about
your new son-in-law... Marta?
That poor boy. He doesn't know
what he's getting himself into.
What are you doing, Potz?
You're going to ruin your pants.
I love being on the grass.
I love the ground,
the Pachamama.
-How are you, grandpa?
-Let me tell you one thing.
The best thing about marriage
is divorce.
I'll start doing things
I've have never done before.
I'll start smoking marijuana.
I'll make a threesome.
That's great, grandpa.
Birds are emigrating south, Fede.
What birds?
-Packages are delayed, Fede.
-Are you alright, cousin?
-How do I look, grandpa?
-I look amazing. I feel fresh.
Now I'll spend my days
smoking joints.
The ceremony is going
to start right now.
Yes. I understand.
Let's go.
He's an old unkind bastard.
Just think that you're now going
to play Burako all you want.
That's true.
Your mother-in-law
didn't say hello to me.
Your mother-in-law
didn't say hello to me.
-And have you?
-No, I won't be begging.
And I don't want to think
about family reunions.
-Mom, please, don't start.
-What?
Is everything alright?
-Are you ready?
-Yes... I'm ready.
Yes... me too. I've been waiting.
-Can we begin?
-As soon as the music starts,
you walk down the aisle.
I'll let you know.
Once you're out, you stop
at the beginning of the aisle,
take a deep breath
and start walking to the altar.
Don't rush.
Enjoy the moment.
I'm so nervous!
We have a big problem.
The rabbi and the priest..
when are they coming?
-Aren't they here yet?
-No.
I only hope that our superiors
don't find out about this.
A mixed wedding.
This is unbelievable!
It's a good deed.
A good deed, yeah.
But I won't say anything about it.
Me neither.
How am I going to tell?
A good deed.
A good silence deed.
How's the new Pope?
-Fine.
-Is that so?
No, I mean, he's fine.
He's a very good Pope. He's fine.
Are you planning to abolish
celibacy of the priests?
Those things take a long time.
I don't think I'll be around for that.
And don't you ever protest?
If we protested,
we would be protestants.
-That was a joke.
-Yes, I realize that.
I'm married.
I have four children.
That's nice.
Sometimes, I would love to be
married and have children.
Sometimes,
I would love to be single.
It's getting late.
Are we far away?
The sign said 600 yards...
and we've done over 6 miles.
-Was the band too expensive?
-Excessively.
I would have done it for free
and a lot better.
I know that.
But we all know how Leo is.
Yes, she's beautiful
and she's going to be my wife.
Fede, I need you to be
with me on this one.
Alright.
-Hello.
-Hello, this is the chauffeur.
Hi, how are you?
I'm going in circles
through this area...
and I can't find the ranch.
You didn't tell me the road
was in bad condition.
I hate getting my ride
dirty like this.
I understand. Where are you?
On my right I have a plantation,
some big trees.
On my left I have a street
that goes both ways...
and a bridge ahead.
Oh, yes, I know where you are.
Follow the bridge, and turn left.
It's impossible to miss it.
Perfect. I'll see you soon.
Bye.
What the hell am I doing?
There's no coming back from this.
These guys are good.
-What are you talking about?
-The band.
Leonora wants to speak with you.
-Hello... baby.
-Adrin.
The rabbi and the priest
haven't arrived yet.
I called the chauffeur service,
they told me they left quite early.
Do you know anything?
Do you have their numbers?
No. Over.
What's with the "over"?
I'm not playing.
-Did they have any problem?
-I don't know, my dear.
You've paid them, right?
Yes. of course. 50% in advance...
and 50% on completion of the job,
like you told me.
-And how long are we supposed to wait?
-I don't know.
Could you stop saying
"I don't know"?
I really don't know what to say... baby.
People are waiting.
Honey, in a case like this,
I need to use my experience.
I would recommend leaving
the ceremony for the end.
We need to begin right away
with the waltz.
If not, the meat will get overcooked.
It's not a bad idea.
Who asked for your opinion,
you little piece of shit?
I take it back.
Things need to be done
as we planned them.
I've been planning this
for over a year.
I don't agree on changing
anything over. Over.
Alright... baby.
Think about it.
Here she comes. I'm going to tell
the DJ to put the music on.
Alright.
Wow.
You are beautiful.
I've been locked up for two hours,
hiding from everyone...
and completely tense.
And for what?
Now I have to go in there
as if this were my sweet sixteen.
You shouldn't look at things
that way, baby.
This is the most important day
of our lives...
and we love each other.
-Don't get sentimental.
-But that's the truth.
I want to kiss you.
No, you are going
to ruin my makeup.
Alright. Are you ready?
Every-body's waiting, baby.
Come on.
Shall we go in?
Let's go.
How are you?
Hello, how are you?
Kiss, kiss!
Pretend that you are enjoying this.
I'm enjoying this.
The other way.
-Follow the beat, Adrin.
-I'm doing that.
-No, you are not.
-I'm doing my best.
I knew this would happen.
You should have taken lessons.
-They were expensive.
-No, they weren't.
They were, and the instructor
had bad breath and a terrible smell.
It was impossible to concentrate.
-Stop it, Adrin.
-You stop it. You started this.
-Alright, but you stop it.
-I'll stop it.
They were expensive.
I love you.
Take it easy, Adrin.
Lzaro.
Congratulations, my dear.
You look wonderful.
Thank you very much.
You don't look bad yourself.
Thank you.
Is your friend Ins single?
Yes. she is.
And do you know
if she's into old men?
Maybe.
What happened?
You got into a fight.
No... nothing happened, mom.
You're lying.
There was no ceremony.
Something must have happened.
Tell your mother.
There's nothing to tell, mom.
Has anyone told you
I'm taking singing lessons?
No. I've already talked
to Adrin.
It's just a song. It would be
my wedding present.
This is my wedding,
and this is my waltz.
Please shut up and smile
for the picture.
Alright.
Is there something wrong?
-Hello.
-Hello.
-You look beautiful.
-Thank you.
-That suit looks amazing on you.
-Really?
Thank you.
-I wasn't sure this was a good idea.
-Why?
I don't know,
because of your girlfriend.
Do you say it because
of what happened between us?
That happened over
It's an old story.
And you are part of the family.
You spend more time
with my mother than me.
The rabbi and the priest
got lost.
Oh, no. But that's quite common
with the western religions.
I didn't think you would come.
I didn't think you would get married.
-I'm not married yet.
-That's good.
That gives you a unique opportunity.
You have the whole party
to change your mind...
to really change it.
I give them my car,
add 10.000 pesos...
and they give me the convertible.
It only takes a week.
It's amazing.
That's really good.
And what do you do for a living?
I study film.
That's nice.
Do people study film?
Yes... people study film.
They do.
And is the money good?
I don't do it for the money, so...
And why do you do it?
There are other things in life.
I have an idea for a movie.
You might find it useful.
It's about a group of friends in a
Jewish country club, in the 90's...
they have a really bad time.
-So?
-That's basically it.
Alright... I'll think about it.
Maybe we could write it together,
if you are interested.
And what do you do for a living?
I do imports and exports.
He is a textile wholesaler
in the clothes district.
Hello, guys. Does anyone have
a little joint to give me?
Honey, can you eat a bit slower?
Every-one's looking.
This is not your parents' house.
I'm almost finished.
I have to go, just for a bit.
I'll be back.
Where are you going?
-I'm going to tip the waiters.
-But they are already serving.
That's why I'll do it now.
I need to keep this up.
I'll be back.
Fede is coming with me.
Honey, can you tell me something
about what's going on?
My son wouldn't tell me anything.
We've made a little change
to keep things flowing.
-Every-thing's perfect.
-This is not a little change.
You can tell that to your
mother-in-law, but not to me.
Do you think I'm stupid?
-Are you sure it came this way?
-I don't know.
-It came down somewhere.
-But where were you?
I was up there.
So we need to throw down
the other ring to see where it falls.
-Are you kidding me?
-No. I'm not.
'
Fede, have you lost your mind?
When I lose a coin,
I throw down another...
and then I find both of them.
In that case, we should find
a similar object...
and analyze the path.
That's right, like the other ring.
No fucking way.
No way.
Come on.
So?
Congratulations. Madam.
What happened to the groom?
Has he gone away?
Have you read
'Family Romances'?
I gave it to you. It's Freud's.
What happened at your table?
Nothing. There was
a conversation going on...
about Botox
and the 2012 Mayans Predictions.
I couldn't find anyone to talk to.
Since when do you want
someone to talk to?
I always thought you wanted
an audience for your monologues.
It's a professional distortion.
-What?
-You look beautiful.
Men are simple. They only want
to mark their territory.
It's probably animal instinct.
It's on their species.
Miguel ngel and I had
a short romance a long time ago.
We kept it secret, of course.
We met on a Philosophy class,
at University of Buenos Aires.
He was the teacher,
and I was the student.
Yes. that's so clich.
He taught me to listen
to jazz music...
to read Marcel Proust,
to hate Garca Marquez...
He was always a role model.
But in all those years... he never
told me I looked beautiful.
And he's telling me that today.
On my wedding day.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
You don't look so bad yourself.
You only liked me because
I'm too handsome, right?
Will you introduce me
to your girlfriend?
Yes, I'm very interested
in your opinion about her.
I'm thinking about
dropping polygamy.
Does she know you speak
Latin even in your dreams?
That's why you dumped me.
I didn't dump you.
You have a terrible memory.
So, how did it fall?
I know where it fell down,
on the well.
-Really?
-Yes.
Give me my ring.
It fell down the well.
I mean my ring,
the one I just threw down.
It's...
Fede, I'm not in the mood
for bad jokes.
I'm sorry. The idea was not
to interfere with the path.
-Are you kidding me?
-No.
Fede, you couldn't be more idiot.
It's impossible.
What were you thinking?
I don't know.
I practice as much as I want...
but I rehearse two or three
times a week.
-Did you know that one, Leo?
-Yes.
But there's always
a new audience.
I'm sorry... what's your
girlfriend's name?
She's Lala, but she's not
precisely my girlfriend.
Leonora... do you think this is
a good time to take the pictures?
Yes, that's fine. But first,
I'll have to find my groom.
-Do you want me to go get him?
-No.
Just stay here saying
good things about me.
We'll do.
Do you know the joke
about the ambassador?
Remind me to kill you
as soon as this is over.
I'm sorry... Adri.
Keep an eye out.
Long live the bride and groom!
The hen is coming
to the hen-house.
Hello, Leo. How are you?
-Where is he?
-Who?
Oh! I haven't seen him.
What's that?
I think it's a rope.
It was there.
Take it out.
Someone might get killed.
I didn't put it there.
Have I told you that?
No, I didn't...
I only asked you to take it out.
Alright. Let me see
what can I do about it.
Now that I remember. Adri told
me he was going to his room.
To do what?
-What are you doing here?
-I don't really know.
If you want to be on the pictures,
get in.
OK.
Why did you say to her
that I was in my room?
I don't know.
This is way too stressful.
Come on... darling,
give me a smile! That's it.
-Have you found him?
-No.
I'm going to kill him.
He's in his room. I don't know why.
I'm talking to Miguel ngel
to get some info on Lala.
-Is that OK with you?
-Of course.
I think he believes you are
interested in him.
-That's so funny.
-Really? I don't think so.
Hello.
This is just a western habit,
a ritual.
Is the meat alright?
Yes.
Do you think I might have
a chance with her?
Ins, I'm currently thinking
about other things.
Let me think about it
and I'll let you know.
Please... can I go get my boyfriend?
-Yes, honey. I love you.
-Me too.
-Hello. Eleonora.
-Leonora.
I'm Jonathan, the DJ's brother.
He couldn't come.
Why?
"Happy marriage", he said.
Can you listen to a wedding march
that I've found?
Careful.
-You do have another one, right?
-Yes.
Don't you have
the classic version?
I thought you wanted to innovate.
You both look modern.
You haven't got married yet.
-I'm actually conservative.
-That's fine.
If you change your mind,
please let me know.
Leonora, I was looking for you.
The stand-up guy called me.
He wanted to know if he can
make Jewish jokes.
That depends on the joke.
He said something
about Schindler's List.
-No.
-Alright, I'll tell him.
Haven't we called that off?
Adrin said that if it was included.
we should put it on.
Then. he can make
all the jokes he wants.
In about 20 minutes, we should
begin the dance section.
I can't believe you are
doing this to me.
I'm sorry... baby,
but I had to take a shit.
I can't do it when
every-one's looking.
It probably was something I ate.
It could have been the salad.
You ate too fast.
It could be that,
and the anxiety and stuff.
What if we go to Las Vegas..
hire the Elvis Rabbi...
and throw this shit away?
Have you been smoking marijuana
with your grandpa?
No.
Isn't that romantic?
-What happened to your hair?
-I got it wet.
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure.
-Please be normal.
-I could do that.
-Please.
-Yes, baby.
And if we begin with
the honeymoon right now?
Have you called the
chauffeur-service?
-Yes, they are on their way.
-Let's go.
So, you people, the Jewish
or the Hebrew...
I never really knew how
you prefer to be called.
-Maybe Israelites.
-"Izrahelites."
They are all the same.
You can call us "Chosen People."
We can talk about
that some other time.
So you're on the year 5770?
Our calendar begins on Genesis..
with the creation of the world.
I'm sorry to disagree.
But nowadays everyone knows
that the Homo sapiens...
is at least 40,000 years.
Don't be stupid, Father.
Do you also believe
in Darwin's theories?
-In the Evolution of Species?
-Of course I do.
It's not that I agree with that..
but the Darwinians...
Can you please help me out?
The Darwinians say
that 200 billion years were needed
for the molecule of protein
to appear on Earth, randomly.
Randomly.
That Darwin's fairytale
has deceived a lot of people.
So we are descendants of the apes.
Do I look like a monkey to you?
Just a little bit.
The kids at my parish
crack up...
-when I put on a monkey face.
-Is that so?
-Yes.
-And how's that face?
No... I can't do it right now.
-Come on. Father.
-No. I can't.
Come on, Father.
-Come on.
-Please get in.
I'm going to rest for a while.
You can do it, come on.
I'm a little shy.
Nobody can see us here.
It's a good deed.
Alright... let me see.
You see?
Yes. that's nice.
It's quite a natural.
Look at you.
I'm sorry... my angel.
This is all my fault.
-Smile, smile!
-Here we are!
A smile, you guys.
I think Agustina is into me.
Do you have three condoms
to borrow?
Please... smile... grandma.
If you are taking my picture
and that man is in it, I won't smile.
Come on, grandma.
It's just for the picture.
I don't give a shit.
One more, one more.
It's jammed. I'm sorry.
Come on, come on.
What a lovely smile!
That's nice.
Another one.
Just a minute,
the camera is jammed.
There we go.
That's it.
He's Tiang Bei.
He probably is one of the
most important guys here.
But he doesn't know it,
and he probably never will.
Tiang Bei, together with
is responsible for building
the Three Gorges Dam
one of the most spectacular
wonders of hydraulic engineer
of the whole world.
He's Chinesse.
As almost everybody knows,
the Chinese are great inventors:
the compass, the gunpowder.
the toilet paper, the silk...
the kite, the fireworks,
and the list goes on.
But almost nobody knows
that they've invented
one of the most revolutionary
artifacts in mankind:
the bellows.
It is a simple device.
With a movement, you capture air...
and then you expel it with
a great deal of pressure.
It is like an air pump :
breath in, spit out.
That gave me an idea
to recover the ring.
The ring came down the breather
pipe of the reservoir tank.
The house has water
thanks to this tank...
which, by means of a pump,
supplies the above ground tank...
this sends water to the two
circuits of internal pipelines.
By disabling
one of the two circuits...
and by forcing the pump
of the above ground tank...
the whole content of the
reservoir tank will be absorbed
by the above ground tank
and then distributed
through the house's pipelines.
If I close down all the stopcocks
of the circuit except one tap...
the whole content of the circuit
will go out of that tap...
including the ring.
Quite simple.
Aren't you going to dance?
No, Lala, I'm not.
I claim my right to remain still.
-That's how you have fun?
-No, how could I?
We surely have different ideas
of what having fun means.
Do you want me to tell you
what I see?
Go ahead.
I see a group of people
awfully dressed.
That struggle to keep that
strange idea of happiness.
They believe that,
by dancing that rhythm
which is blurry related to music...
they redeem themselves
from their mediocre and dull life.
Stand back a bit.
You'll see that it is a pathetic show.
The peeping tom.
The bitch.
The touchy one.
The repressed girl.
The drunken one.
The cool ugly one.
The dancer.
The diva.
And my favorite one
the masturbator photographer.
And then you have
the bride and groom.
If they believe love lasts forever,
they are naive.
If they don't,
and this is what I believe...
they are a couple of impostors.
The party allows them
to take off their masks.
Is that so? And who are you?
I'm no one.
I'm no one. I'm just
a critical spectator, like you.
-So?
-Nothing.
-Come with me.
-Where to?
-Leonora's ring is inside this tank.
-Do you want me to go in?
No... it is hermetically sealed.
It came down the breather pipe.
I saw its broken top.
I will force the pump
of the above ground tank...
to increase the water pressure
of the pipelines.
I have to close all the stopcocks
of circuit one.
But I have no fucking idea
where they are.
Could this be of use?
Wow.
I can't believe how much
they are eating.
Look... the petit fours are ready.
It seems as if they haven't eaten
in the whole week.
These are a bit dry.
-Oh, I'll take one almond.
-Go ahead.
-You're working hard.
-Oh, yes.
A smoke, thanks.
The girlfriend is too hot.
Too hot.
But the groom is so dumb.
Extremely dumb.
A pretty fucking dumb boy.
The stupid ones always get
the pretty girls.
-Do you have a light?
-No. I don't.
Isn't this the kitchen?
What? She's here with me.
I'll put her on.
Hello!
Adrin, do you copy?
This well is filled up
with strange things.
I can't find anything.
I've found a spatula, a padlock...
Do you copy?
Adrin?
Adrin, this is Fede. Over.
Hello. I'm on my way.
Be careful.
How are you, grandpa?
My prostate.
What happened with Chuchi?
Nothing happens with her.
That's the problem.
It's been over 30 years since
the last time it happened.
-Is there something wrong?
-No... what could be wrong?
-Do you need money? Here.
-No. I don't.
Here you go.
Where will you go
for your honeymoon?
We're going to China.
I'm going on a business trip,
we'll kill two birds with one stone.
-Can you get me a joint?
-I don't smoke marijuana... grandpa.
-Why not?
-It makes me paranoid.
It makes paranoid
those who are paranoid.
Don't you have a friend that
might have a little joint?
-Anything natural?
-I'll ask them.
I don't want any of those
pee-smelling Paraguayan joints.
I'll ask them.
-You're an angel.
-No. I'm not.
Do you need help?
-No, thank you.
-Have you lost something?
No... there was a problem
with the pipelines.
But it's almost solved.
I haven't congratulated you
on your marriage.
Thank you.
I suppose it must have been
very hard to convince her.
No. I didn't have to convince her.
She forced me.
Leonora is an amazing woman.
I hope you can live up
to the expectations.
I'll try. If I have a problem,
would you give some advice?
Of course, man... why not?
I know her well.
And I've known her
from a long time.
Yes, that's right.
It was a long time ago.
Leonora is a different person now.
That's a very Heideggerian
idea of the human being.
Listen... Miguel ngel,
I might not be "Socratas"...
I've already noticed.
But I'm not an asshole either.
And I see what you are doing.
You pretend to be a dandy.
You fondle her.
What do you want?
To get her back?
I didn't know you were so paranoid.
What is this?
A Henry James novel?
I understand.
But you know what?
This conversation between you
and I has no logic.
So I'm going to gently ask you
to get the fuck away.
Are you sure?
If that's what you want.
Am I dead?
No... man, how could you say that?
Do I look like Saint Peter?
-Not you, but he does.
-No.
The problem was that the car
got stuck, and you fainted.
Give me that map.
Oh, God, we went to hell.
Hell. The Devil.
We don't believe in that.
He's not in the Torah.
And how do you know that
the Torah is complete?
In over 5000 years, some pages
could have been gone missing.
-It could be.
-You have to be very careful.
I'm sorry, you don't mind that
we talk about this. Right... son?
Yes. we can talk about it.
But I'm not your son.
Do I look like your son?
No. that's fine. It's a habit.
We are all brothers.
I'm just saying that maybe
we could be doing everything wrong...
just because we've lost
some pages.
We're definitely fucked up.
I wouldn't put it that way.
Theology is quite broad.
No, I mean we're lost.
Oh.
We're fucked up.
Leonora, Adrin... I wanted
to wish you the best.
But you decided to get married,
so I'm sorry for you.
And although I'm a married man,
I can still remember the times...
when I was alive.
-Well... the ring...
-Where are you going?
I can't tell you everything.
It is a surprise.
If you move, I'll kill you.
That's fine.
...and the groom puts
the shoes on the bride.
And the problem begins with
the name of the finger:
-it's the ring finger.
-It's vibrating.
-How can you escape from that?
-Hello?
Oh, yes.
It's from the chauffeur-service.
Yes. tell me.
Mom, I need to ask you two favors.
No problem.
Is there something wrong?
The first favor is not to ask me
any questions...
when I ask you the second favor.
-That's fine.
-I need your wedding ring.
-What for?
-Mom.
I'm sorry, son,
but I can't give it to you.
It's been stuck for years.
Look at it.
My fingers have swollen up,
I can't take it off.
-It's impossible to take it off.
-Fucking shit!
Can you tell me what's going on?
Do you need money?
No... mom, every-thing's fine.
Enjoy the show.
And then we have
the Jewish mothers...
Hello, grandma.
-How are you?
-I'm bad.
Can you believe it?
That old man deserves to die.
-And your ring?
-I don't have it.
Your grandpa took it off.
And I did it too.
Do you think it's fair to throw away
-for a crazy old man?
-You'll get him back in two weeks.
I don't know what's worse.
She won't stop, ever.
One day I stopped her
and asked her:
"Mom, why do you answer
all my questions...
with another question?"
"Do I do that? When?
What are you talking about?"
I'm sorry... can I borrow that
for a moment?
-What?
-Come here.
I'll give it back.
Oh, no, please give it back
afterwards.
-Have you found anything?
-No. Look at this.
Leave that, Fede.
Put these on.
What's that?
What's going on?
-Get inside.
-What? No, my suit.
So?
So?
-That's right, Fede! I have one!
-Just a joke.
Give it to me.
You don't mess with this.
Now I have to find the
other one, Leonora's,
-the most important one.
-And your plan?
My plan is working.
But we'll need a plan B.
Guys, come here.
Can you do me a favor?
Don't ask any questions.
Leo found out about
the prostitute.
-What?
-Don't talk nonsense.
I'm going to need a ring
or something similar.
You'll have to get it
inside the party.
Do whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes?
-When we went to the park...
-No. thanks.
-Do you remember that time?
-Yes, it was amazing.
Can you tell me why do you
have that expression?
Nothing will please you, right?
You wanted a big wedding.
Here's the big wedding.
-What's the problem now?
-You are the problem, mother.
Me?
Don't you have
someone to talk to?
I will find someone to talk
to because it's impossible...
to talk to you.
Let me tell you one thing.
Adrin could be many things...
but it's hard to find
a man like that.
And a woman like me?
Between you and me,
we both know...
that you have nothing
out of the ordinary.
We are very much alike.
But don't worry..
I'm not married yet.
Did Adrin change his mind?
No. mother.
I changed my mind.
I don't believe you.
With the exception
of some awful details...
this is a fun wedding.
It's fun.
I like it.
-Excuse me. Leonora.
-Tell me.
In 10 minutes we'll begin
with the garters.
-Where's the groom?
-Mara, will you do me a favor?
-And please don't take it personal.
-Yes, sure.
Stop asking about
my fucking groom.
The bitch asked me if
Adrin changed his mind.
That's the only possibility
she could think of.
Loosen my dress up.
It's killing me.
Alright.
So? How's your romance?
I've seen you talking.
But so far... she's only
been talking about your ex.
She's telling me how smart he is,
and that he loves Tantric sex.
You never told me Miguel ngel
traveled so much.
He was an interesting guy
for you.
Yes. he was.
Right now I'm trying to marry
another guy.
Yeah. Lala is lovely.
She has an old-fashioned face.
I think she's not
interested in me...
because Miguel ngel
is such a sophisticated man.
He's very sensitive
and extremely funny.
He doesn't seem to be a man.
And he's also very good looking.
You can't deny that.
Why did you leave him?
I don't remember.
Do you remember
that you are my friend?
-Are you alright?
-I don't know.
Are you in love?
Why do you ask me that?
Of course I'm in love,
but I'm not sure he is...
because I haven't seen him today.
I love him.
It doesn't seem obvious
because every time I talk...
about Miguel ngel, you change
your expression.
I'm getting married to a guy
that's not here.
I don't want to bring you down
because you are already here..
but I always thought
Adrin was dumb.
And you are twice as dumb.
Why do you say that?
My head is gone. I'm sorry.
-Hello?
-Hello.
-This is the chauffeur speaking.
-Why are you not here yet?
We're a bit delayed,
I've done everything that
the guy told me.
I went right through
the road of ranches...
and after the bridge I turned left.
You turned left?
-No, you had to turn right.
-But he told me to turn left.
No... it was to the right.
Listen to me.
After the bridge,
you have to turn right.
After 1 mile,
you'll reach the asphalt.
That's where you have to turn left.
Follow the path
and you'll reach us.
OK. But when I get there,
we have to talk.
I need to talk about
the extra costs.
I need to polish the car
and clean up the chassis.
I'll pay you anything
you want, but hurry up.
I'm going to kill him!
-Rock... paper, scissors.
-Rock... paper, scissors.
This is unbelievable.
Think about what
Moses had to go through...
to reach the Promised Land.
But I don't believe in God.
-Rock... paper, scissors.
-Rock... paper, scissors.
-Oh... it's my luck.
-Oh my fucking God!
Rock, paper, scissors.
Eliana, do you have a minute?
I have a march...
Have you seen Adrin?
The Chinese guy
is looking for you.
My darling... you look beautiful.
Every-thing's just so tight.
Hey, does this dress
has to be unbuttoned?
You have good boobs.
-They will fall soon enough.
-Thank you.
-Have you seen Adrin?
-No.
-Have you seen Adrin?
-No.
Is something wrong?
Do you need money?
No, I need Adrin.
He's been doing weird things
the whole day...
and now he's gone.
He has always done
weird things.
When he was a boy, he threw
himself from the balcony...
dressed as Superman.
He was in a cast
for three months.
Good tip. They should add it
to the prenuptial analysis.
Good tip. They should add it
to the prenuptial analysis.
Luckily, the apartment
is in your name, Ral.
Remember this: in two years,
they will be filing for a divorce.
-This marriage won't last.
-Stop it, Raquel.
I'm tired of you.
I've been sick and tired of you
for the last 40 years!
You're always complaining
and in a bad mood.
You're always complaining
and in a bad mood.
You're not at peace
even at you son's wedding.
How dare you speak to me like that?
Do you remember who I am?
Yes. I do.
I'm sorry.
Fede!
-Hello, Leonora.
-What are you doing?
Nothing, I'm drinking champagne.
I saw you looking
through that purse.
Are you kleptomaniac?
No. I mean,
I think I'm not.
There was a Chinese guy outside.
I saw a Chinese guy.
There was a Chinese guy outside.
I saw a Chinese guy.
Listen to me, Fede.
I'm not going to play your games.
Tell me where Adrin is.
I don't know.
Adrin. Are you there?
Leo is that you?
Yes... it's me. Can you tell me
where you are?
Yes... it's me. Can you tell me
where you are?
-Is there something wrong, Leo?
-Well, yes.
I've found your cell phone
in the ladies room.
And that's how I found out that
you diverted the chauffeur.
And I've also just found out
my wedding cake destroyed.
Can I ask you what's going on?
Can I ask you what's going on?
Le-- I can't list--
I have no batt--
-Adrin?
-Let's talk lat--
He doesn't know who
he's messing with.
He doesn't know who
he's messing with.
Hello, Adri.
Hello, Mica.
-How are you?
-Is there something wrong?
No.
Can I help you?
No... it's too complicated.
It's just that I'm an asshole... Mica.
That's the problem.
I'm an asshole.
I'm an asshole.
Things are not going well.
Every-thing's a mess.
What's wrong?
I'm going to be a widow
before I get married.
Oh, boy.
You've heard me say
this too many times.
In marriage... couples try
to solve a problem...
they wouldn't have
if they were living alone.
ngel, I'm not in the mood
for your cynicism.
I understand. What happened?
It's Adrin. I don't know
what's wrong with him.
He comes and goes,
he lies to me...
he diverted the chauffeur. It seems
he doesn't want to get married.
And you?
What?
Do you want to get married?
Do you want to get married?
No, I invented all this
to play pool with you.
Haven't we agreed to leave
cynicism aside?
What you're asking
makes no sense.
It does. If you
don't answer that to me...
you'll have to answer it
to the rabbi or the priest.
When they ask me,
I'll think about it.
Alright. Let's talk
about your doubts.
Alright. Let's talk
about your doubts.
No.
I'm not in your class.
Leo... I know you
better than anyone.
And I know you're not sure
of what you're doing.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Come here.
And you did all that for her?
And you did all that for her?
Either you love her very much
or you are afraid of her.
A little bit of both.
I hope one day someone does for me
half the things you did for her.
Someone will do it, Mica.
I can help you.
I can help you.
I'll ask my mother
for her wedding ring.
When you settle this,
you'll give it back.
She won't mind.
But...
It's a wedding ring.
They are all the same thing.
Yes. The thing is that
if Leonora puts it on...
Yes. The thing is that
if Leonora puts it on...
she won't want to take it off.
I would have to take it off
while she's asleep.
-Leonora is a very light sleeper.
-Adri.
No big deal. Don't worry.
Thank you, Mica. Thank you.
-Hey... what was that?
-Thank you.
-Hey... what was that?
-Thank you.
Everything's fine, but we
shouldn't touch each other.
If we touch other,
we'll get confused.
And I prefer to avoid
any confusion.
That's fine, Mica.
I have just now started
a relationship with someone.
I'm starting.
It was very difficult to me.
He wants to make it official,
and I don't.
I came to see you.
I came to see you.
And if we touch each other
and we get confused...
-I can't carry on.
-OK.
-I know that we're apart now...
-OK, Mica, get me the fucking ring.
OK.
I know that you don't believe
a word I say, Leo.
But I'd like to help you.
I've found this in the garden.
This might partially explain
your boyfriend's behavior.
She's crazy. She's mad.
-Who?
-Leonora.
She wants to kill us.
She brandished a knife at me.
Listen to me.
Did you destroy the wedding cake?
-No.
-You couldn't be more stupid.
-No.
-You couldn't be more stupid.
But it wasn't me.
I need you to go see Leonora..
tell her that you're sorry...
and distract her for five minutes.
I have a new plan.
She doesn't want to see me.
Just five minutes, Fede.
OK.
Alright.
Oh, yes, right now.
I can't believe it.
-He's an asshole.
-Yes, he's an idiot.
He ruined my wedding.
Yes... he did wrong.
He truly did.
Yes... he did wrong.
He truly did.
-He's a son of a bitch.
-OK, he's my cousin.
But don't worry.
Everything will be alright.
You look beautiful.
Every-thing's perfect.
You thought it went down
the pipes.
That's a good place.
That's a good place.
What? No! Leo!
Adrin!
Leonora knows everything.
She had the ring.
I don't know how she got it.
She's gone.
I don't know how she got it.
She's gone.
I make a good impression
of your Pope.
"Brothers and sisters,
God's ways are unfathomable!"
-You see? I was good.
-That's nice.
-You see? I was good.
-That's nice.
Guys, He would probably
listen to you.
Ask Him to give us a sign.
What's that?
God's ways are unfathomable!
Can we talk?
Leo?
Leo. can we talk?
Can I explain the situation?
Leo?
Can I please explain?
Leo?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Why?
Why did you ruin our wedding?
Why did you destroy
the wedding cake?
That wasn't me.
You lied to me all day long.
You lied to me all day long.
You made me look like
a fool in front of everybody.
What do you want to explain?
That I don't know the person
that am I going to marry?
I'm sorry, Leo.
I'm sorry for everything.
That's not enough. I want to know
why you did all this.
That's not enough. I want to know
why you did all this.
Leo, I thought you would get
mad if I told you...
-that I've lost the ring.
-Why would I get mad?
-Because you always get mad.
-That's a lie!
It's not a lie.
Everything I do is wrong, Leo.
I never live up to your expectations.
I know you don't mean it...
but sometimes you put me down.
As if you were ashamed of me.
-Now you're the victim.
-I'm not.
What are you trying to say?
What are you trying to say?
Nothing...
I feel like I'm always taking an exam.
And I never pass.
I wake up every day thinking:
"Today's the day,"
"Today she'll find out,"
"Today she'll find out that
I'm not Prince Charming...
that I'm just a frog,"
that I'm just a frog,"
I've already found that out.
Please... Leo... forgive me.
We can still do it.
Do you want to marry me?
Tell me. We can do it.
-Do you want to marry me?
-Leave me alone.
-Do you want to marry me?
-Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
-Leave me alone.
-I'll be waiting at the altar.
I'll be there. I'll be waiting.
I'll be there, Leo.
One last thing.
Where was the ring?
Miguel ngel gave it to me.
Have you lost your armor
or have you found a horse?
Stop it.
-You don't mess with my cousin.
-Stop it.
Let's get ready for the ceremony.
Where's the bride?
If she doesn't show up
in 20 minutes...
you could start giving
the souvenirs away.
Leonora, get back.
Leonora! Get back!
You wanted all this.
You wanted the party.
You wanted all this shit.
There you have it.
You say you don't know
your boyfriend...
when you've been dating
a dumb your whole life!
We could assume
that you have your own issues.
Leonora!
Son of a bitch!
You ripped my dress!
I'm sorry!
No! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry.
-No, I'm sorry.
-I love you.
I love you too.
Have you got married already?
No.
Then all my efforts have paid off.
Are you happy this way?
How?
Believing that you are better
than the rest...
putting everybody to the test.
Don't underestimate the things
I could do...
to see you happy.
I thought you were so smart.
I am very smart. Very.
You are pathetic.
And you're lousy in bed.
How are you?
I'm fine.
He was unbearable.
-Excellent!
-You think?
I'm getting married.
What can I do?
Do you want me to go
downstairs and say something?
Don't worry.
I'll go downstairs myself.
Alright.
Can someone please tell me
what's going...?
What are you?
A truck driver?
That's awful.
It's not your problem, mother.
It is my problem.
I'm the bride's mother.
Every-one's asking for you.
And I don't know where you are.
That's so you.
This is the worst day of my life,
and you only care about yourself.
I'll go downstairs.
Go ahead... darling.
Go ahead.
You can't blame me for all this.
Please... may the rabbi and the priest
come over here.
Everyone, take your position.
Leave the first two rows
for the family.
What do you think?
Will she come?
I don't know.
All set. Here you go.
Thank you, Mica,
but I won't need it.
Grandpa keeps asking for a joint.
Thanks. Sorry, Mica.
Do you have a cigarette?
-Yes, but a regular one.
-Yes, that's fine.
Have you started to smoke?
Tell him this is something special.
-Cousin.
-What?
I'm also going to miss you.
Really?
No, it's a lie.
You are happy, right?
Happy about what?
Come on, mother.
You never liked Adrin.
You hate his family,
you hate he's Jewish...
you hate the way he swallows
without chewing...
you hate everything about him.
That's a complete insult.
I never said anything like that.
-Never.
-I know you, mother.
You never liked my boyfriends.
You truly believe I'm a monster.
I guess I am.
Look at you.
This is who I raised.
I must be a monster.
I'm a horrible person.
I've failed at everything.
At everything!
This is too painful.
I can't breathe.
I'm sorry.
What you said is not true.
Marito was lovely.
Lovely.
Marito is gay.
But he was lovely.
My God.
You're terrible.
Let me see.
This is clearly not the image
I had in my mind...
when I organized my wedding.
Leonora!
If you don't come... I'll get married!
If the Romans were right and
this reflects my future...
I prefer to stay single.
Tiang Bei congratulates
you for your wedding.
He wishes you
happiness and fortune.
-Thank you.
-Adrin, a great man.
Valuable man.
That's because
you have just met him.
But you will change your mind.
A man that goes underground,
climbs walls...
rides horses,
fights with his fists...
destroys dragons...
is a great man.
Elena, I have this...
-No, no.
-It's the last version I've found.
Do whatever you want.
I don't care.
Alright. That's nice.
Tiang Bei wishes you prosperity.
Have you been busy lately?
-Do you play at a lot of parties?
-Yes, we do.
If you need a singer,
you can count on me.
That's nice. Thank you.
I'm studying to perform
in musicals.
I have a copy of my rsum.
I could give it to you.
OK.
What a great piano.
Not now, mom.
And your mother?
Mom took three Valiums
and stayed at home sleeping.
That many?
Three Valiums?
Did you bring your car?
Let me know when you go.
If you give me your number..
we could write the movie together.
-Alright?
-Yeah, alright.
Here she comes!
Here she comes.
Finally.
Wow.
-We are gathered here...
-Liar! That's what you are.
A selfish... manipulative..
irresponsible man.
A fucking asshole.
Give me one reason
to marry you.
I knew that was my last chance,
but I had no idea...
how to make the most of it.
I needed that thing I didn't
have during the wedding:
Luck.
It's funny how plans work better
when they fail.
What I'm trying to say
is that I've spent all day...
trying to find Leonora's ring.
And what happens?
Someone, by mistake,
closes the only tap left open...
and that solves everything.
Water starts to pressure
down the pipelines...
and when you least expect it...
Boom!
The ring appeared just
at the right time.
One reason?
That I love you deeply.
That I would love to grow old
with you.
And that since things didn't
work out as we expected...
maybe we could get married
again next year.
Is that alright?
Are you sure you want
to marry me... asshole?
I am very sure.
Mazel Tov!
No!
Hello, Eleonora and...
Adrin. I remembered.
This was my first
wedding as a DJ.
I think this is my thing.
I'm truly thankful to you.
And...
Eleonora, you were beautiful.
The complete repair
of the pipelines.
Replacement of the reservoir tank.
We have to fix that.
I might also get married.
If we get back together again...
it would be nice
because we will both...
have experience on marriage.
My cousin's great-great father
brought that tiles
a hundred years ago.
It's impossible to find them.
He brought them from England.
I feel I've gained a daughter
although you are not Jewish.
Is this thing ready?
Are you recording?
I hope you get along well.
You are quite different.
And you should let your child
choose a religion.
What are you doing?
You are a mess.
How can you go around like this?
Let's go. We have
to dance the waltz.
Yes, darling.
I can't take this anymore.
We couldn't buy a present..
but we've brought some money.
- Adrin's friends are a disaster.
- They suck.
-But Agustina found a boyfriend.
-What?
My phone is 1-5-5-247...
Where did we include this?
When I used to play "Life",
the marriage part...
was one of my favorites.
You're an idiot. I can't do it.
My God.
Motherfuckers.
I hope you're happy...
if you can.
I wish the best for him too.
When you're smiling
When you're smiling
Keep on smiling
The whole world smiles with you
And when you're laughing
Keep on laughing
The sun comes shining through
But when you're crying
You bring on the rain
So stop your frowning
Be happy again
Cause when you're smiling
Keep on smiling
The whole world smiles with you
Cause when you're smiling
Keep on smiling
The whole world smiles with you
-I'm happy with you.
- Yes. me too.
We'll get married next year,
but we do the opposite :
it'll be at night... in downtown
with finger-food and I would love
to have a live band
because the DJ has to disappear.
And we'll invite less people.
I don't want any extras.
Alright.
We'll think about it.
Are you ready to begin
our honeymoon?
Yes... do you have
the passports?
- You had them.
- No, you.
We said that you'd put
them together with the money.
You didn't bring the money?
Let me tell you something.
Think twice before
getting married.
Especially, if you're going
to throw a party.
Let's begin with the catering
for 120 people:
it costs a real fortune.
And don't get me started
with the venue...
the photographer...
the video, the DJ...
the musicians, the suit,
the bride's dress...
It truly is absolutely mad.
And what for?
Vandalism.
Several months of preparation to
see how in a few hours...
a group of crazy people, supposed
to be your family and friends...
devour the food, break chairs,
trash the bathrooms...
and get all sweaty.
They only want to get drunk.
It is real disaster.
And if all that happens..
your party is a success.
But none of this makes any sense
if the one that ruins the party...
is the groom himself.
That's me, Adrin Meier.
Why am I ruining a 2,000 dollar
suit riding that horse?
VILLA MARA RANCH
I need to reach that sign
before that car does.
Rabbi Mendel,
I don't know his first name...
and Father Patricio,
I don't know his last name...
are traveling in that car.
Our plan is for them to officiate
at the wedding.
-Oh, yes.
-Oh, yes.
I'm a nonbeliever Jewish.
and my wife...
is a semi-believer Catholic.
So we thought it was a great idea
to make a mixed ceremony.
But when we made inquiries,
we discovered...
that none of the religions
accepts such a ceremony.
But there's always
a friend of a friend.
Apparently, Rabbi Mendel's
father came from Europe...
in the same ship than my
grandparents, Lzaro and Chuchi,
who separated recently.
And they are the parents
of Raquel, my mother...
who has been unhappily married
to his first husband Ral...
my father, for the last 40 years.
And Father Patricio
is the priest of the parish...
to which Delia contributes,
who is Marta 's aunt...
the lovely mother of Leonora...
who is the woman that I love
with all my heart...
my bride-to-be.
That's why they did us the favor
of coming here...
with a 25% increase
of each ceremony.
The party is not as expensive
as he says.
The problem is that Adrin has a
difficult relationship with money.
Nobody will charge you less
for a guest's service.
It is a wedding.
To me, it's not an expense.
It's an investment.
But... for him, money is an excuse.
It actually is a
conscious manifestation...
of an unconscious blockage.
Adrin does not want
to get married.
Three years ago, Leonora
went to a seminar on Lacan...
and ever since she
over-interprets the world.
To me, things are simpler.
For instance.
I hate wearing a necktie.
I don't feel asphyxiated
by the commitment...
of an ever-lasting relationship.
It just squeezes my neck.
The other day I said to her:
"My shoes hurt."
And she said: "You are afraid
of taking this step."
Alright, let's suppose
that the shoes thing...
is because of the hard leather.
What happened today
was not by chance.
It is highly significant.
Romans used to say:
"What happens at the wedding...
is a reflection of the future
of the couple."
And I believed that too.
That's why I wanted
a perfect wedding.
Yes. that's me.
Leonora Campos.
When I'm sad, I only get
better if I eat or if I run.
Maybe this wasn't the
best moment to do this.
Or the best place.
Let me give you my version
of what went through.
Are you aware that today
is the end of everything?
-No.
-You're wasting 20 years away.
I've known you
since third grade.
Today, you gotta back me up.
You know I always do.
But not today.
Listen to me.
Why don't you get a girlfriend?
I generously accepted
not having the bachelor party.
I hated that, but I'm OK.
But this is a funeral.
-There's no coming back from this.
-Get yourself a girlfriend.
You can do it. For real.
And what are you doing?
-Look at this.
-Don't do this.
Come on. Knock it off.
Please... can you just relax?
-Leonora will kill me.
-You are just a couple of kids.
Adrin, can I bother you
for a second?
-Can we check the itinerary?
-Yes.
Please... stop it.
-Tell me.
-The ceremony...
Just one thing. There's a guy
helping people to park their cars.
-Does he work for you?
-Yes, sure.
Oh, because he's asking for tips.
-But he's not forcing anyone.
-Oh. I see.
The ceremony begins
at 12:30 p.m.
-At 1:30 p.m... we serve lunch.
-Alright.
Then we have the waltz,
a dance section of 45 minutes...
the dessert,
another dance section...
at 5 p.m., the stand-up show.
then the videos, the cake...
-the garters...
-No, no garters.
-At 6:40 p.m... dessert.
-No garters.
At 7:40 p.m.,
another dance section.
After that, the toast,
and the best men's speeches.
-No, there won't be any best men.
-Why not?
We didn't reach an agreement
with Leo.
-Oh, well.
-Oh, well.
-How are you... my dear boy?
-Fine.
-Is there something wrong?
-No, not at all. Why do you ask?
-Because you seem nervous.
-You make me nervous, mom.
Oh, well. Did you know that 75%
of mixed couples don't work out?
-Don't start.
-That's according to the statistics.
Mom... don't you have
anything better to do?
Your father and I have
decided to continue paying...
for your medical insurance
for six months, just in case.
Thank you... mom.
It won't be necessary.
Chuchi doesn't want to sit
at the table with Lzaro.
You see? Endogamous
couples don't work either.
Your grandmother is not doing well.
It's a difficult situation.
And your grandfather behaves
as if he were a teenager.
It's not that bad, Raquel.
He's just enjoying things.
Yeah, right, for you
every-thing's simple.
You don't care if the family
breaks up.
Please... don't go there.
Don't go there.
Nobody asked for your opinion.
Don't talk.
This is a private conversation
between mother and son.
That's enough. If you excuse me,
I'll get married.
Wait a minute.
Tell me something:
isn't that your cousin Elena?
Wasn't she shopping?
Mica.
-Hello.
-Hi. Adri.
-How are you, Mica?
-Fine. Congratulations.
-Thank you. How are you?
-I'm doing fine. And you?
Are you nervous?
Yes...
I totally agree with you.
I'll see you... Hello... baby.
Why did it take you so long
to pick up the phone?
Honey, remember this
is a long-distance call.
Baby, I'm here with Delia.
She wants to give us something.
-Where are you?
-In my room.
And what happened with the whole
not-seeing-the-bride thing?
Come up here now.
It's important.
Alright. I'm on my way.
Alright. I'm on my way.
Adrin!
Miguel ngel.
I didn't expect to see you here.
-I'm the groom.
-That's why.
The wedding is the only ritual
where the victim...
has to pay all the expenses.
-That's a good one.
-Don't you forget it.
By the way,
I want you to meet Lala.
She's my latest carnal shelter.
Alright.
I'll see you around.
Enjoy the party.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Adrin!
Is there something more pathetic
than marriage, Lala?
Don't come in!
What's going on?
Shall I leave?
No, you can come in.
but you have to close your eyes.
Don't do this to me... baby.
You know I have no sense
of direction. I will fall.
-Who says I can't see you?
-It's a tradition.
You can't see the bride before
saying yes to the Lord.
But I don't believe in the Lord.
We've already talked
about the Lord.
-Open your eyes.
-Thank you.
Hello.
-How are you?
-I'm fine.
Here you go.
These are lovely, Delia.
Thank you so much.
-Have you seen these... baby?
-Yes, I have.
They were made by a
Salzburg's jeweler...
for my grandmother
over 100 years ago.
She would always say that
the gold was melted...
from Philip, The Fair's jewels.
That's amazing.
And my mother had them blessed,
when she went to the Vatican...
by Pope John Paul I, one week
before his assassination.
I didn't know anything about that.
Is he alright?
-Stop it, Adrin Meier.
-That happened a long time ago.
He started to mess with
economic interests.
Thank you, auntie.
It is going to be an honor
for me to wear these rings.
-The honor is all mine.
-I love you.
Can you keep them?
Have you ever seen
a bride's dress with pockets?
And when the firstborn arrives,
I have a cross for him...
that was blessed by
Pope John Paul II...
before the first attack.
Let's get out.
The bride has to finish up
preparing for the ceremony.
Alright. I'll kiss the bride first,
if you allow me, Delia.
Yes... yes.
-You owe me one.
-They are free!
I'm sorry... Delia.
I don't know how to
thank you for this.
-This is unbelievable.
-I'm glad to hear that.
Let me introduce you
to my grandfather Lzaro.
Delia.
-Pleased to meet you.
-I'm divorced.
-Excuse me.
-Is that so?
There's so many divorced people.
Why would you want
to stay married?
-What are you doing, Potz?
-I don't know. It just got stuck.
Fede, you don't even know
how to flush.
It's not my fault.
-It started to overflow.
-Get out of the way.
-It's overflowing from below.
-That's OK.
I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
I've already fixed it.
It was very simple.
That's because
you are an engineer.
It has nothing to do with this.
It's just common sense.
That's something
you don't seem to have.
I'm sorry.
Have you talked to Leo?
-About what?
-About me.
Remember I told you
I was practicing?
Oh, yes. But that's way
too complicated, Fede.
She has already planned
everything.
Please. ask her.
Alright.
-Are you going to clean this?
-Alright.
Cousin...
You're getting married.
I'll miss you a lot.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying here.
Don't I have
too much eye shadow?
To me, you're just fine.
But I could take a bit off.
You are beautiful.
Do you want to eat something?
-No, Ins, I'm on a diet.
-Yeah, me too.
-A bit more... please.
-Leonora.
Can I have Emanuel?
I need some final touches.
No, mom.
You've already stolen my dress
and you want my makeup artist?
I am the one who's
getting married.
Are you going to keep complaining
about the dress?
-Hello... gorgeous.
-Hello, Marta.
I don't know what the deal is
with the dress.
Get out. mom. Get out.
Your mother's dress is amazing.
She looks as if she were your sister.
I also loved it. We saw it at
a store and I told her I loved it.
I have to pee.
No... mom! What do you want?
-It's me again, baby.
-I'm in the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you something.
Come in. but don't look.
-Hello, lns.
-Hello. Adri. You look thinner.
Yes... Leonora bought me
a smaller suit.
She forced me to lose 10 pounds.
-But you look amazing.
-Oh, yes.
-Have you tipped the waiters?
-What for?
So they don't think
that we are stingy.
Excuse me,
are they working for free?
Don't be stingy, Adrin.
Tips are not included.
Then the stingy one is the owner
of the ranch, not me.
Let's not argue.
Give a tip to the waiters' boss.
I'll give you back the money.
-I have no cash.
-You never do.
-Oh, well.
-What did you want?
Did you know that Fede
is taking singing classes?
-He told me a thousand times.
-Yes, it's a bit weird.
The thing is that I thought
that maybe...
No.
No? You don't even know
what I was going to say.
Yes. I do. The answer is no.
It's enough with me taking care
of you not getting drunk...
and you want me to give
a mic to your cousin?
I'm sorry... but if I can't get drunk
at my own wedding...
Do it at one of your friends'.
-I'll see you at the altar.
-Zip it.
Yes. I do.
Yes. I do.
Yes... I do.
Yes. I do.
Yes. I do.
Yes. I do.
I do.
Yes...
I do.
Oh, no!
What are you doing?
Nothing.
-Are you looking for something?
-What do you think?
That you're looking for something.
Leonora's ring fell down.
It came down.
I think it fell around here.
She's going to kill you.
Shall I start to place
the guests?
We can begin as soon
as the priest and the rabbi arrive.
What are you going to do?
Do you know what he did?
Buy some time.
VILLA MARA RANCH
So? How's everything?
-Every-thing's perfect.
-No.
The altar is lovely.
The carpet, the flowers,
every-thing's like a dream.
-Almost every-one's here.
-Alright.
-Are the drinks cold?
-They are perfect.
-How's the catering?
-Delightful.
- Have they served the casseroles?
- Not yet.
Your mother told Mara there was
too much food around.
I saw Miguel ngel.
- Is he here?
- Yes.
And he came with
a very beautiful girl.
- Wasn't he on the guest list?
- Yes.
But I didn't think he would come.
He always hated weddings.
- Did he tell you anything?
- About what?
I don't know.
Does Adri know
about Miguel Angel?
Yes. of course.
Isn't he upset about him coming?
Yes. He hates him.
But he acts as if he didn't care.
I told him that if his coming here
would create a conflict...
we didn't have to invite him.
And he said that if Miguel ngel
could still cause a conflict...
in our relationship, there were
more reasons to invite him.
-I didn't understand a thing.
-Yes, it is a twisted idea.
I shouldn't have invited him.
Did he come with his
current girlfriend?
I don't know who she is.
But she's very beautiful.
I think I'm in love.
Marriage is like a besieged city.
The ones out want to get in.
And the ones in want to get out.
I should have known that before.
And what's your side,
Miguel ngel?
-I'm neutral.
-That's just too simple.
It's the only way
of having a fine wine...
with three beautiful women
and not suffering the consequences.
What can you tell me about
your new son-in-law... Marta?
That poor boy. He doesn't know
what he's getting himself into.
What are you doing, Potz?
You're going to ruin your pants.
I love being on the grass.
I love the ground,
the Pachamama.
-How are you, grandpa?
-Let me tell you one thing.
The best thing about marriage
is divorce.
I'll start doing things
I've have never done before.
I'll start smoking marijuana.
I'll make a threesome.
That's great, grandpa.
Birds are emigrating south, Fede.
What birds?
-Packages are delayed, Fede.
-Are you alright, cousin?
-How do I look, grandpa?
-I look amazing. I feel fresh.
Now I'll spend my days
smoking joints.
The ceremony is going
to start right now.
Yes. I understand.
Let's go.
He's an old unkind bastard.
Just think that you're now going
to play Burako all you want.
That's true.
Your mother-in-law
didn't say hello to me.
Your mother-in-law
didn't say hello to me.
-And have you?
-No, I won't be begging.
And I don't want to think
about family reunions.
-Mom, please, don't start.
-What?
Is everything alright?
-Are you ready?
-Yes... I'm ready.
Yes... me too. I've been waiting.
-Can we begin?
-As soon as the music starts,
you walk down the aisle.
I'll let you know.
Once you're out, you stop
at the beginning of the aisle,
take a deep breath
and start walking to the altar.
Don't rush.
Enjoy the moment.
I'm so nervous!
We have a big problem.
The rabbi and the priest..
when are they coming?
-Aren't they here yet?
-No.
I only hope that our superiors
don't find out about this.
A mixed wedding.
This is unbelievable!
It's a good deed.
A good deed, yeah.
But I won't say anything about it.
Me neither.
How am I going to tell?
A good deed.
A good silence deed.
How's the new Pope?
-Fine.
-Is that so?
No, I mean, he's fine.
He's a very good Pope. He's fine.
Are you planning to abolish
celibacy of the priests?
Those things take a long time.
I don't think I'll be around for that.
And don't you ever protest?
If we protested,
we would be protestants.
-That was a joke.
-Yes, I realize that.
I'm married.
I have four children.
That's nice.
Sometimes, I would love to be
married and have children.
Sometimes,
I would love to be single.
It's getting late.
Are we far away?
The sign said 600 yards...
and we've done over 6 miles.
-Was the band too expensive?
-Excessively.
I would have done it for free
and a lot better.
I know that.
But we all know how Leo is.
Yes, she's beautiful
and she's going to be my wife.
Fede, I need you to be
with me on this one.
Alright.
-Hello.
-Hello, this is the chauffeur.
Hi, how are you?
I'm going in circles
through this area...
and I can't find the ranch.
You didn't tell me the road
was in bad condition.
I hate getting my ride
dirty like this.
I understand. Where are you?
On my right I have a plantation,
some big trees.
On my left I have a street
that goes both ways...
and a bridge ahead.
Oh, yes, I know where you are.
Follow the bridge, and turn left.
It's impossible to miss it.
Perfect. I'll see you soon.
Bye.
What the hell am I doing?
There's no coming back from this.
These guys are good.
-What are you talking about?
-The band.
Leonora wants to speak with you.
-Hello... baby.
-Adrin.
The rabbi and the priest
haven't arrived yet.
I called the chauffeur service,
they told me they left quite early.
Do you know anything?
Do you have their numbers?
No. Over.
What's with the "over"?
I'm not playing.
-Did they have any problem?
-I don't know, my dear.
You've paid them, right?
Yes. of course. 50% in advance...
and 50% on completion of the job,
like you told me.
-And how long are we supposed to wait?
-I don't know.
Could you stop saying
"I don't know"?
I really don't know what to say... baby.
People are waiting.
Honey, in a case like this,
I need to use my experience.
I would recommend leaving
the ceremony for the end.
We need to begin right away
with the waltz.
If not, the meat will get overcooked.
It's not a bad idea.
Who asked for your opinion,
you little piece of shit?
I take it back.
Things need to be done
as we planned them.
I've been planning this
for over a year.
I don't agree on changing
anything over. Over.
Alright... baby.
Think about it.
Here she comes. I'm going to tell
the DJ to put the music on.
Alright.
Wow.
You are beautiful.
I've been locked up for two hours,
hiding from everyone...
and completely tense.
And for what?
Now I have to go in there
as if this were my sweet sixteen.
You shouldn't look at things
that way, baby.
This is the most important day
of our lives...
and we love each other.
-Don't get sentimental.
-But that's the truth.
I want to kiss you.
No, you are going
to ruin my makeup.
Alright. Are you ready?
Every-body's waiting, baby.
Come on.
Shall we go in?
Let's go.
How are you?
Hello, how are you?
Kiss, kiss!
Pretend that you are enjoying this.
I'm enjoying this.
The other way.
-Follow the beat, Adrin.
-I'm doing that.
-No, you are not.
-I'm doing my best.
I knew this would happen.
You should have taken lessons.
-They were expensive.
-No, they weren't.
They were, and the instructor
had bad breath and a terrible smell.
It was impossible to concentrate.
-Stop it, Adrin.
-You stop it. You started this.
-Alright, but you stop it.
-I'll stop it.
They were expensive.
I love you.
Take it easy, Adrin.
Lzaro.
Congratulations, my dear.
You look wonderful.
Thank you very much.
You don't look bad yourself.
Thank you.
Is your friend Ins single?
Yes. she is.
And do you know
if she's into old men?
Maybe.
What happened?
You got into a fight.
No... nothing happened, mom.
You're lying.
There was no ceremony.
Something must have happened.
Tell your mother.
There's nothing to tell, mom.
Has anyone told you
I'm taking singing lessons?
No. I've already talked
to Adrin.
It's just a song. It would be
my wedding present.
This is my wedding,
and this is my waltz.
Please shut up and smile
for the picture.
Alright.
Is there something wrong?
-Hello.
-Hello.
-You look beautiful.
-Thank you.
-That suit looks amazing on you.
-Really?
Thank you.
-I wasn't sure this was a good idea.
-Why?
I don't know,
because of your girlfriend.
Do you say it because
of what happened between us?
That happened over
It's an old story.
And you are part of the family.
You spend more time
with my mother than me.
The rabbi and the priest
got lost.
Oh, no. But that's quite common
with the western religions.
I didn't think you would come.
I didn't think you would get married.
-I'm not married yet.
-That's good.
That gives you a unique opportunity.
You have the whole party
to change your mind...
to really change it.
I give them my car,
add 10.000 pesos...
and they give me the convertible.
It only takes a week.
It's amazing.
That's really good.
And what do you do for a living?
I study film.
That's nice.
Do people study film?
Yes... people study film.
They do.
And is the money good?
I don't do it for the money, so...
And why do you do it?
There are other things in life.
I have an idea for a movie.
You might find it useful.
It's about a group of friends in a
Jewish country club, in the 90's...
they have a really bad time.
-So?
-That's basically it.
Alright... I'll think about it.
Maybe we could write it together,
if you are interested.
And what do you do for a living?
I do imports and exports.
He is a textile wholesaler
in the clothes district.
Hello, guys. Does anyone have
a little joint to give me?
Honey, can you eat a bit slower?
Every-one's looking.
This is not your parents' house.
I'm almost finished.
I have to go, just for a bit.
I'll be back.
Where are you going?
-I'm going to tip the waiters.
-But they are already serving.
That's why I'll do it now.
I need to keep this up.
I'll be back.
Fede is coming with me.
Honey, can you tell me something
about what's going on?
My son wouldn't tell me anything.
We've made a little change
to keep things flowing.
-Every-thing's perfect.
-This is not a little change.
You can tell that to your
mother-in-law, but not to me.
Do you think I'm stupid?
-Are you sure it came this way?
-I don't know.
-It came down somewhere.
-But where were you?
I was up there.
So we need to throw down
the other ring to see where it falls.
-Are you kidding me?
-No. I'm not.
'
Fede, have you lost your mind?
When I lose a coin,
I throw down another...
and then I find both of them.
In that case, we should find
a similar object...
and analyze the path.
That's right, like the other ring.
No fucking way.
No way.
Come on.
So?
Congratulations. Madam.
What happened to the groom?
Has he gone away?
Have you read
'Family Romances'?
I gave it to you. It's Freud's.
What happened at your table?
Nothing. There was
a conversation going on...
about Botox
and the 2012 Mayans Predictions.
I couldn't find anyone to talk to.
Since when do you want
someone to talk to?
I always thought you wanted
an audience for your monologues.
It's a professional distortion.
-What?
-You look beautiful.
Men are simple. They only want
to mark their territory.
It's probably animal instinct.
It's on their species.
Miguel ngel and I had
a short romance a long time ago.
We kept it secret, of course.
We met on a Philosophy class,
at University of Buenos Aires.
He was the teacher,
and I was the student.
Yes. that's so clich.
He taught me to listen
to jazz music...
to read Marcel Proust,
to hate Garca Marquez...
He was always a role model.
But in all those years... he never
told me I looked beautiful.
And he's telling me that today.
On my wedding day.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
You don't look so bad yourself.
You only liked me because
I'm too handsome, right?
Will you introduce me
to your girlfriend?
Yes, I'm very interested
in your opinion about her.
I'm thinking about
dropping polygamy.
Does she know you speak
Latin even in your dreams?
That's why you dumped me.
I didn't dump you.
You have a terrible memory.
So, how did it fall?
I know where it fell down,
on the well.
-Really?
-Yes.
Give me my ring.
It fell down the well.
I mean my ring,
the one I just threw down.
It's...
Fede, I'm not in the mood
for bad jokes.
I'm sorry. The idea was not
to interfere with the path.
-Are you kidding me?
-No.
Fede, you couldn't be more idiot.
It's impossible.
What were you thinking?
I don't know.
I practice as much as I want...
but I rehearse two or three
times a week.
-Did you know that one, Leo?
-Yes.
But there's always
a new audience.
I'm sorry... what's your
girlfriend's name?
She's Lala, but she's not
precisely my girlfriend.
Leonora... do you think this is
a good time to take the pictures?
Yes, that's fine. But first,
I'll have to find my groom.
-Do you want me to go get him?
-No.
Just stay here saying
good things about me.
We'll do.
Do you know the joke
about the ambassador?
Remind me to kill you
as soon as this is over.
I'm sorry... Adri.
Keep an eye out.
Long live the bride and groom!
The hen is coming
to the hen-house.
Hello, Leo. How are you?
-Where is he?
-Who?
Oh! I haven't seen him.
What's that?
I think it's a rope.
It was there.
Take it out.
Someone might get killed.
I didn't put it there.
Have I told you that?
No, I didn't...
I only asked you to take it out.
Alright. Let me see
what can I do about it.
Now that I remember. Adri told
me he was going to his room.
To do what?
-What are you doing here?
-I don't really know.
If you want to be on the pictures,
get in.
OK.
Why did you say to her
that I was in my room?
I don't know.
This is way too stressful.
Come on... darling,
give me a smile! That's it.
-Have you found him?
-No.
I'm going to kill him.
He's in his room. I don't know why.
I'm talking to Miguel ngel
to get some info on Lala.
-Is that OK with you?
-Of course.
I think he believes you are
interested in him.
-That's so funny.
-Really? I don't think so.
Hello.
This is just a western habit,
a ritual.
Is the meat alright?
Yes.
Do you think I might have
a chance with her?
Ins, I'm currently thinking
about other things.
Let me think about it
and I'll let you know.
Please... can I go get my boyfriend?
-Yes, honey. I love you.
-Me too.
-Hello. Eleonora.
-Leonora.
I'm Jonathan, the DJ's brother.
He couldn't come.
Why?
"Happy marriage", he said.
Can you listen to a wedding march
that I've found?
Careful.
-You do have another one, right?
-Yes.
Don't you have
the classic version?
I thought you wanted to innovate.
You both look modern.
You haven't got married yet.
-I'm actually conservative.
-That's fine.
If you change your mind,
please let me know.
Leonora, I was looking for you.
The stand-up guy called me.
He wanted to know if he can
make Jewish jokes.
That depends on the joke.
He said something
about Schindler's List.
-No.
-Alright, I'll tell him.
Haven't we called that off?
Adrin said that if it was included.
we should put it on.
Then. he can make
all the jokes he wants.
In about 20 minutes, we should
begin the dance section.
I can't believe you are
doing this to me.
I'm sorry... baby,
but I had to take a shit.
I can't do it when
every-one's looking.
It probably was something I ate.
It could have been the salad.
You ate too fast.
It could be that,
and the anxiety and stuff.
What if we go to Las Vegas..
hire the Elvis Rabbi...
and throw this shit away?
Have you been smoking marijuana
with your grandpa?
No.
Isn't that romantic?
-What happened to your hair?
-I got it wet.
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure.
-Please be normal.
-I could do that.
-Please.
-Yes, baby.
And if we begin with
the honeymoon right now?
Have you called the
chauffeur-service?
-Yes, they are on their way.
-Let's go.
So, you people, the Jewish
or the Hebrew...
I never really knew how
you prefer to be called.
-Maybe Israelites.
-"Izrahelites."
They are all the same.
You can call us "Chosen People."
We can talk about
that some other time.
So you're on the year 5770?
Our calendar begins on Genesis..
with the creation of the world.
I'm sorry to disagree.
But nowadays everyone knows
that the Homo sapiens...
is at least 40,000 years.
Don't be stupid, Father.
Do you also believe
in Darwin's theories?
-In the Evolution of Species?
-Of course I do.
It's not that I agree with that..
but the Darwinians...
Can you please help me out?
The Darwinians say
that 200 billion years were needed
for the molecule of protein
to appear on Earth, randomly.
Randomly.
That Darwin's fairytale
has deceived a lot of people.
So we are descendants of the apes.
Do I look like a monkey to you?
Just a little bit.
The kids at my parish
crack up...
-when I put on a monkey face.
-Is that so?
-Yes.
-And how's that face?
No... I can't do it right now.
-Come on. Father.
-No. I can't.
Come on, Father.
-Come on.
-Please get in.
I'm going to rest for a while.
You can do it, come on.
I'm a little shy.
Nobody can see us here.
It's a good deed.
Alright... let me see.
You see?
Yes. that's nice.
It's quite a natural.
Look at you.
I'm sorry... my angel.
This is all my fault.
-Smile, smile!
-Here we are!
A smile, you guys.
I think Agustina is into me.
Do you have three condoms
to borrow?
Please... smile... grandma.
If you are taking my picture
and that man is in it, I won't smile.
Come on, grandma.
It's just for the picture.
I don't give a shit.
One more, one more.
It's jammed. I'm sorry.
Come on, come on.
What a lovely smile!
That's nice.
Another one.
Just a minute,
the camera is jammed.
There we go.
That's it.
He's Tiang Bei.
He probably is one of the
most important guys here.
But he doesn't know it,
and he probably never will.
Tiang Bei, together with
is responsible for building
the Three Gorges Dam
one of the most spectacular
wonders of hydraulic engineer
of the whole world.
He's Chinesse.
As almost everybody knows,
the Chinese are great inventors:
the compass, the gunpowder.
the toilet paper, the silk...
the kite, the fireworks,
and the list goes on.
But almost nobody knows
that they've invented
one of the most revolutionary
artifacts in mankind:
the bellows.
It is a simple device.
With a movement, you capture air...
and then you expel it with
a great deal of pressure.
It is like an air pump :
breath in, spit out.
That gave me an idea
to recover the ring.
The ring came down the breather
pipe of the reservoir tank.
The house has water
thanks to this tank...
which, by means of a pump,
supplies the above ground tank...
this sends water to the two
circuits of internal pipelines.
By disabling
one of the two circuits...
and by forcing the pump
of the above ground tank...
the whole content of the
reservoir tank will be absorbed
by the above ground tank
and then distributed
through the house's pipelines.
If I close down all the stopcocks
of the circuit except one tap...
the whole content of the circuit
will go out of that tap...
including the ring.
Quite simple.
Aren't you going to dance?
No, Lala, I'm not.
I claim my right to remain still.
-That's how you have fun?
-No, how could I?
We surely have different ideas
of what having fun means.
Do you want me to tell you
what I see?
Go ahead.
I see a group of people
awfully dressed.
That struggle to keep that
strange idea of happiness.
They believe that,
by dancing that rhythm
which is blurry related to music...
they redeem themselves
from their mediocre and dull life.
Stand back a bit.
You'll see that it is a pathetic show.
The peeping tom.
The bitch.
The touchy one.
The repressed girl.
The drunken one.
The cool ugly one.
The dancer.
The diva.
And my favorite one
the masturbator photographer.
And then you have
the bride and groom.
If they believe love lasts forever,
they are naive.
If they don't,
and this is what I believe...
they are a couple of impostors.
The party allows them
to take off their masks.
Is that so? And who are you?
I'm no one.
I'm no one. I'm just
a critical spectator, like you.
-So?
-Nothing.
-Come with me.
-Where to?
-Leonora's ring is inside this tank.
-Do you want me to go in?
No... it is hermetically sealed.
It came down the breather pipe.
I saw its broken top.
I will force the pump
of the above ground tank...
to increase the water pressure
of the pipelines.
I have to close all the stopcocks
of circuit one.
But I have no fucking idea
where they are.
Could this be of use?
Wow.
I can't believe how much
they are eating.
Look... the petit fours are ready.
It seems as if they haven't eaten
in the whole week.
These are a bit dry.
-Oh, I'll take one almond.
-Go ahead.
-You're working hard.
-Oh, yes.
A smoke, thanks.
The girlfriend is too hot.
Too hot.
But the groom is so dumb.
Extremely dumb.
A pretty fucking dumb boy.
The stupid ones always get
the pretty girls.
-Do you have a light?
-No. I don't.
Isn't this the kitchen?
What? She's here with me.
I'll put her on.
Hello!
Adrin, do you copy?
This well is filled up
with strange things.
I can't find anything.
I've found a spatula, a padlock...
Do you copy?
Adrin?
Adrin, this is Fede. Over.
Hello. I'm on my way.
Be careful.
How are you, grandpa?
My prostate.
What happened with Chuchi?
Nothing happens with her.
That's the problem.
It's been over 30 years since
the last time it happened.
-Is there something wrong?
-No... what could be wrong?
-Do you need money? Here.
-No. I don't.
Here you go.
Where will you go
for your honeymoon?
We're going to China.
I'm going on a business trip,
we'll kill two birds with one stone.
-Can you get me a joint?
-I don't smoke marijuana... grandpa.
-Why not?
-It makes me paranoid.
It makes paranoid
those who are paranoid.
Don't you have a friend that
might have a little joint?
-Anything natural?
-I'll ask them.
I don't want any of those
pee-smelling Paraguayan joints.
I'll ask them.
-You're an angel.
-No. I'm not.
Do you need help?
-No, thank you.
-Have you lost something?
No... there was a problem
with the pipelines.
But it's almost solved.
I haven't congratulated you
on your marriage.
Thank you.
I suppose it must have been
very hard to convince her.
No. I didn't have to convince her.
She forced me.
Leonora is an amazing woman.
I hope you can live up
to the expectations.
I'll try. If I have a problem,
would you give some advice?
Of course, man... why not?
I know her well.
And I've known her
from a long time.
Yes, that's right.
It was a long time ago.
Leonora is a different person now.
That's a very Heideggerian
idea of the human being.
Listen... Miguel ngel,
I might not be "Socratas"...
I've already noticed.
But I'm not an asshole either.
And I see what you are doing.
You pretend to be a dandy.
You fondle her.
What do you want?
To get her back?
I didn't know you were so paranoid.
What is this?
A Henry James novel?
I understand.
But you know what?
This conversation between you
and I has no logic.
So I'm going to gently ask you
to get the fuck away.
Are you sure?
If that's what you want.
Am I dead?
No... man, how could you say that?
Do I look like Saint Peter?
-Not you, but he does.
-No.
The problem was that the car
got stuck, and you fainted.
Give me that map.
Oh, God, we went to hell.
Hell. The Devil.
We don't believe in that.
He's not in the Torah.
And how do you know that
the Torah is complete?
In over 5000 years, some pages
could have been gone missing.
-It could be.
-You have to be very careful.
I'm sorry, you don't mind that
we talk about this. Right... son?
Yes. we can talk about it.
But I'm not your son.
Do I look like your son?
No. that's fine. It's a habit.
We are all brothers.
I'm just saying that maybe
we could be doing everything wrong...
just because we've lost
some pages.
We're definitely fucked up.
I wouldn't put it that way.
Theology is quite broad.
No, I mean we're lost.
Oh.
We're fucked up.
Leonora, Adrin... I wanted
to wish you the best.
But you decided to get married,
so I'm sorry for you.
And although I'm a married man,
I can still remember the times...
when I was alive.
-Well... the ring...
-Where are you going?
I can't tell you everything.
It is a surprise.
If you move, I'll kill you.
That's fine.
...and the groom puts
the shoes on the bride.
And the problem begins with
the name of the finger:
-it's the ring finger.
-It's vibrating.
-How can you escape from that?
-Hello?
Oh, yes.
It's from the chauffeur-service.
Yes. tell me.
Mom, I need to ask you two favors.
No problem.
Is there something wrong?
The first favor is not to ask me
any questions...
when I ask you the second favor.
-That's fine.
-I need your wedding ring.
-What for?
-Mom.
I'm sorry, son,
but I can't give it to you.
It's been stuck for years.
Look at it.
My fingers have swollen up,
I can't take it off.
-It's impossible to take it off.
-Fucking shit!
Can you tell me what's going on?
Do you need money?
No... mom, every-thing's fine.
Enjoy the show.
And then we have
the Jewish mothers...
Hello, grandma.
-How are you?
-I'm bad.
Can you believe it?
That old man deserves to die.
-And your ring?
-I don't have it.
Your grandpa took it off.
And I did it too.
Do you think it's fair to throw away
-for a crazy old man?
-You'll get him back in two weeks.
I don't know what's worse.
She won't stop, ever.
One day I stopped her
and asked her:
"Mom, why do you answer
all my questions...
with another question?"
"Do I do that? When?
What are you talking about?"
I'm sorry... can I borrow that
for a moment?
-What?
-Come here.
I'll give it back.
Oh, no, please give it back
afterwards.
-Have you found anything?
-No. Look at this.
Leave that, Fede.
Put these on.
What's that?
What's going on?
-Get inside.
-What? No, my suit.
So?
So?
-That's right, Fede! I have one!
-Just a joke.
Give it to me.
You don't mess with this.
Now I have to find the
other one, Leonora's,
-the most important one.
-And your plan?
My plan is working.
But we'll need a plan B.
Guys, come here.
Can you do me a favor?
Don't ask any questions.
Leo found out about
the prostitute.
-What?
-Don't talk nonsense.
I'm going to need a ring
or something similar.
You'll have to get it
inside the party.
Do whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes?
-When we went to the park...
-No. thanks.
-Do you remember that time?
-Yes, it was amazing.
Can you tell me why do you
have that expression?
Nothing will please you, right?
You wanted a big wedding.
Here's the big wedding.
-What's the problem now?
-You are the problem, mother.
Me?
Don't you have
someone to talk to?
I will find someone to talk
to because it's impossible...
to talk to you.
Let me tell you one thing.
Adrin could be many things...
but it's hard to find
a man like that.
And a woman like me?
Between you and me,
we both know...
that you have nothing
out of the ordinary.
We are very much alike.
But don't worry..
I'm not married yet.
Did Adrin change his mind?
No. mother.
I changed my mind.
I don't believe you.
With the exception
of some awful details...
this is a fun wedding.
It's fun.
I like it.
-Excuse me. Leonora.
-Tell me.
In 10 minutes we'll begin
with the garters.
-Where's the groom?
-Mara, will you do me a favor?
-And please don't take it personal.
-Yes, sure.
Stop asking about
my fucking groom.
The bitch asked me if
Adrin changed his mind.
That's the only possibility
she could think of.
Loosen my dress up.
It's killing me.
Alright.
So? How's your romance?
I've seen you talking.
But so far... she's only
been talking about your ex.
She's telling me how smart he is,
and that he loves Tantric sex.
You never told me Miguel ngel
traveled so much.
He was an interesting guy
for you.
Yes. he was.
Right now I'm trying to marry
another guy.
Yeah. Lala is lovely.
She has an old-fashioned face.
I think she's not
interested in me...
because Miguel ngel
is such a sophisticated man.
He's very sensitive
and extremely funny.
He doesn't seem to be a man.
And he's also very good looking.
You can't deny that.
Why did you leave him?
I don't remember.
Do you remember
that you are my friend?
-Are you alright?
-I don't know.
Are you in love?
Why do you ask me that?
Of course I'm in love,
but I'm not sure he is...
because I haven't seen him today.
I love him.
It doesn't seem obvious
because every time I talk...
about Miguel ngel, you change
your expression.
I'm getting married to a guy
that's not here.
I don't want to bring you down
because you are already here..
but I always thought
Adrin was dumb.
And you are twice as dumb.
Why do you say that?
My head is gone. I'm sorry.
-Hello?
-Hello.
-This is the chauffeur speaking.
-Why are you not here yet?
We're a bit delayed,
I've done everything that
the guy told me.
I went right through
the road of ranches...
and after the bridge I turned left.
You turned left?
-No, you had to turn right.
-But he told me to turn left.
No... it was to the right.
Listen to me.
After the bridge,
you have to turn right.
After 1 mile,
you'll reach the asphalt.
That's where you have to turn left.
Follow the path
and you'll reach us.
OK. But when I get there,
we have to talk.
I need to talk about
the extra costs.
I need to polish the car
and clean up the chassis.
I'll pay you anything
you want, but hurry up.
I'm going to kill him!
-Rock... paper, scissors.
-Rock... paper, scissors.
This is unbelievable.
Think about what
Moses had to go through...
to reach the Promised Land.
But I don't believe in God.
-Rock... paper, scissors.
-Rock... paper, scissors.
-Oh... it's my luck.
-Oh my fucking God!
Rock, paper, scissors.
Eliana, do you have a minute?
I have a march...
Have you seen Adrin?
The Chinese guy
is looking for you.
My darling... you look beautiful.
Every-thing's just so tight.
Hey, does this dress
has to be unbuttoned?
You have good boobs.
-They will fall soon enough.
-Thank you.
-Have you seen Adrin?
-No.
-Have you seen Adrin?
-No.
Is something wrong?
Do you need money?
No, I need Adrin.
He's been doing weird things
the whole day...
and now he's gone.
He has always done
weird things.
When he was a boy, he threw
himself from the balcony...
dressed as Superman.
He was in a cast
for three months.
Good tip. They should add it
to the prenuptial analysis.
Good tip. They should add it
to the prenuptial analysis.
Luckily, the apartment
is in your name, Ral.
Remember this: in two years,
they will be filing for a divorce.
-This marriage won't last.
-Stop it, Raquel.
I'm tired of you.
I've been sick and tired of you
for the last 40 years!
You're always complaining
and in a bad mood.
You're always complaining
and in a bad mood.
You're not at peace
even at you son's wedding.
How dare you speak to me like that?
Do you remember who I am?
Yes. I do.
I'm sorry.
Fede!
-Hello, Leonora.
-What are you doing?
Nothing, I'm drinking champagne.
I saw you looking
through that purse.
Are you kleptomaniac?
No. I mean,
I think I'm not.
There was a Chinese guy outside.
I saw a Chinese guy.
There was a Chinese guy outside.
I saw a Chinese guy.
Listen to me, Fede.
I'm not going to play your games.
Tell me where Adrin is.
I don't know.
Adrin. Are you there?
Leo is that you?
Yes... it's me. Can you tell me
where you are?
Yes... it's me. Can you tell me
where you are?
-Is there something wrong, Leo?
-Well, yes.
I've found your cell phone
in the ladies room.
And that's how I found out that
you diverted the chauffeur.
And I've also just found out
my wedding cake destroyed.
Can I ask you what's going on?
Can I ask you what's going on?
Le-- I can't list--
I have no batt--
-Adrin?
-Let's talk lat--
He doesn't know who
he's messing with.
He doesn't know who
he's messing with.
Hello, Adri.
Hello, Mica.
-How are you?
-Is there something wrong?
No.
Can I help you?
No... it's too complicated.
It's just that I'm an asshole... Mica.
That's the problem.
I'm an asshole.
I'm an asshole.
Things are not going well.
Every-thing's a mess.
What's wrong?
I'm going to be a widow
before I get married.
Oh, boy.
You've heard me say
this too many times.
In marriage... couples try
to solve a problem...
they wouldn't have
if they were living alone.
ngel, I'm not in the mood
for your cynicism.
I understand. What happened?
It's Adrin. I don't know
what's wrong with him.
He comes and goes,
he lies to me...
he diverted the chauffeur. It seems
he doesn't want to get married.
And you?
What?
Do you want to get married?
Do you want to get married?
No, I invented all this
to play pool with you.
Haven't we agreed to leave
cynicism aside?
What you're asking
makes no sense.
It does. If you
don't answer that to me...
you'll have to answer it
to the rabbi or the priest.
When they ask me,
I'll think about it.
Alright. Let's talk
about your doubts.
Alright. Let's talk
about your doubts.
No.
I'm not in your class.
Leo... I know you
better than anyone.
And I know you're not sure
of what you're doing.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Come here.
And you did all that for her?
And you did all that for her?
Either you love her very much
or you are afraid of her.
A little bit of both.
I hope one day someone does for me
half the things you did for her.
Someone will do it, Mica.
I can help you.
I can help you.
I'll ask my mother
for her wedding ring.
When you settle this,
you'll give it back.
She won't mind.
But...
It's a wedding ring.
They are all the same thing.
Yes. The thing is that
if Leonora puts it on...
Yes. The thing is that
if Leonora puts it on...
she won't want to take it off.
I would have to take it off
while she's asleep.
-Leonora is a very light sleeper.
-Adri.
No big deal. Don't worry.
Thank you, Mica. Thank you.
-Hey... what was that?
-Thank you.
-Hey... what was that?
-Thank you.
Everything's fine, but we
shouldn't touch each other.
If we touch other,
we'll get confused.
And I prefer to avoid
any confusion.
That's fine, Mica.
I have just now started
a relationship with someone.
I'm starting.
It was very difficult to me.
He wants to make it official,
and I don't.
I came to see you.
I came to see you.
And if we touch each other
and we get confused...
-I can't carry on.
-OK.
-I know that we're apart now...
-OK, Mica, get me the fucking ring.
OK.
I know that you don't believe
a word I say, Leo.
But I'd like to help you.
I've found this in the garden.
This might partially explain
your boyfriend's behavior.
She's crazy. She's mad.
-Who?
-Leonora.
She wants to kill us.
She brandished a knife at me.
Listen to me.
Did you destroy the wedding cake?
-No.
-You couldn't be more stupid.
-No.
-You couldn't be more stupid.
But it wasn't me.
I need you to go see Leonora..
tell her that you're sorry...
and distract her for five minutes.
I have a new plan.
She doesn't want to see me.
Just five minutes, Fede.
OK.
Alright.
Oh, yes, right now.
I can't believe it.
-He's an asshole.
-Yes, he's an idiot.
He ruined my wedding.
Yes... he did wrong.
He truly did.
Yes... he did wrong.
He truly did.
-He's a son of a bitch.
-OK, he's my cousin.
But don't worry.
Everything will be alright.
You look beautiful.
Every-thing's perfect.
You thought it went down
the pipes.
That's a good place.
That's a good place.
What? No! Leo!
Adrin!
Leonora knows everything.
She had the ring.
I don't know how she got it.
She's gone.
I don't know how she got it.
She's gone.
I make a good impression
of your Pope.
"Brothers and sisters,
God's ways are unfathomable!"
-You see? I was good.
-That's nice.
-You see? I was good.
-That's nice.
Guys, He would probably
listen to you.
Ask Him to give us a sign.
What's that?
God's ways are unfathomable!
Can we talk?
Leo?
Leo. can we talk?
Can I explain the situation?
Leo?
Can I please explain?
Leo?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Why?
Why did you ruin our wedding?
Why did you destroy
the wedding cake?
That wasn't me.
You lied to me all day long.
You lied to me all day long.
You made me look like
a fool in front of everybody.
What do you want to explain?
That I don't know the person
that am I going to marry?
I'm sorry, Leo.
I'm sorry for everything.
That's not enough. I want to know
why you did all this.
That's not enough. I want to know
why you did all this.
Leo, I thought you would get
mad if I told you...
-that I've lost the ring.
-Why would I get mad?
-Because you always get mad.
-That's a lie!
It's not a lie.
Everything I do is wrong, Leo.
I never live up to your expectations.
I know you don't mean it...
but sometimes you put me down.
As if you were ashamed of me.
-Now you're the victim.
-I'm not.
What are you trying to say?
What are you trying to say?
Nothing...
I feel like I'm always taking an exam.
And I never pass.
I wake up every day thinking:
"Today's the day,"
"Today she'll find out,"
"Today she'll find out that
I'm not Prince Charming...
that I'm just a frog,"
that I'm just a frog,"
I've already found that out.
Please... Leo... forgive me.
We can still do it.
Do you want to marry me?
Tell me. We can do it.
-Do you want to marry me?
-Leave me alone.
-Do you want to marry me?
-Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
-Leave me alone.
-I'll be waiting at the altar.
I'll be there. I'll be waiting.
I'll be there, Leo.
One last thing.
Where was the ring?
Miguel ngel gave it to me.
Have you lost your armor
or have you found a horse?
Stop it.
-You don't mess with my cousin.
-Stop it.
Let's get ready for the ceremony.
Where's the bride?
If she doesn't show up
in 20 minutes...
you could start giving
the souvenirs away.
Leonora, get back.
Leonora! Get back!
You wanted all this.
You wanted the party.
You wanted all this shit.
There you have it.
You say you don't know
your boyfriend...
when you've been dating
a dumb your whole life!
We could assume
that you have your own issues.
Leonora!
Son of a bitch!
You ripped my dress!
I'm sorry!
No! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry.
-No, I'm sorry.
-I love you.
I love you too.
Have you got married already?
No.
Then all my efforts have paid off.
Are you happy this way?
How?
Believing that you are better
than the rest...
putting everybody to the test.
Don't underestimate the things
I could do...
to see you happy.
I thought you were so smart.
I am very smart. Very.
You are pathetic.
And you're lousy in bed.
How are you?
I'm fine.
He was unbearable.
-Excellent!
-You think?
I'm getting married.
What can I do?
Do you want me to go
downstairs and say something?
Don't worry.
I'll go downstairs myself.
Alright.
Can someone please tell me
what's going...?
What are you?
A truck driver?
That's awful.
It's not your problem, mother.
It is my problem.
I'm the bride's mother.
Every-one's asking for you.
And I don't know where you are.
That's so you.
This is the worst day of my life,
and you only care about yourself.
I'll go downstairs.
Go ahead... darling.
Go ahead.
You can't blame me for all this.
Please... may the rabbi and the priest
come over here.
Everyone, take your position.
Leave the first two rows
for the family.
What do you think?
Will she come?
I don't know.
All set. Here you go.
Thank you, Mica,
but I won't need it.
Grandpa keeps asking for a joint.
Thanks. Sorry, Mica.
Do you have a cigarette?
-Yes, but a regular one.
-Yes, that's fine.
Have you started to smoke?
Tell him this is something special.
-Cousin.
-What?
I'm also going to miss you.
Really?
No, it's a lie.
You are happy, right?
Happy about what?
Come on, mother.
You never liked Adrin.
You hate his family,
you hate he's Jewish...
you hate the way he swallows
without chewing...
you hate everything about him.
That's a complete insult.
I never said anything like that.
-Never.
-I know you, mother.
You never liked my boyfriends.
You truly believe I'm a monster.
I guess I am.
Look at you.
This is who I raised.
I must be a monster.
I'm a horrible person.
I've failed at everything.
At everything!
This is too painful.
I can't breathe.
I'm sorry.
What you said is not true.
Marito was lovely.
Lovely.
Marito is gay.
But he was lovely.
My God.
You're terrible.
Let me see.
This is clearly not the image
I had in my mind...
when I organized my wedding.
Leonora!
If you don't come... I'll get married!
If the Romans were right and
this reflects my future...
I prefer to stay single.
Tiang Bei congratulates
you for your wedding.
He wishes you
happiness and fortune.
-Thank you.
-Adrin, a great man.
Valuable man.
That's because
you have just met him.
But you will change your mind.
A man that goes underground,
climbs walls...
rides horses,
fights with his fists...
destroys dragons...
is a great man.
Elena, I have this...
-No, no.
-It's the last version I've found.
Do whatever you want.
I don't care.
Alright. That's nice.
Tiang Bei wishes you prosperity.
Have you been busy lately?
-Do you play at a lot of parties?
-Yes, we do.
If you need a singer,
you can count on me.
That's nice. Thank you.
I'm studying to perform
in musicals.
I have a copy of my rsum.
I could give it to you.
OK.
What a great piano.
Not now, mom.
And your mother?
Mom took three Valiums
and stayed at home sleeping.
That many?
Three Valiums?
Did you bring your car?
Let me know when you go.
If you give me your number..
we could write the movie together.
-Alright?
-Yeah, alright.
Here she comes!
Here she comes.
Finally.
Wow.
-We are gathered here...
-Liar! That's what you are.
A selfish... manipulative..
irresponsible man.
A fucking asshole.
Give me one reason
to marry you.
I knew that was my last chance,
but I had no idea...
how to make the most of it.
I needed that thing I didn't
have during the wedding:
Luck.
It's funny how plans work better
when they fail.
What I'm trying to say
is that I've spent all day...
trying to find Leonora's ring.
And what happens?
Someone, by mistake,
closes the only tap left open...
and that solves everything.
Water starts to pressure
down the pipelines...
and when you least expect it...
Boom!
The ring appeared just
at the right time.
One reason?
That I love you deeply.
That I would love to grow old
with you.
And that since things didn't
work out as we expected...
maybe we could get married
again next year.
Is that alright?
Are you sure you want
to marry me... asshole?
I am very sure.
Mazel Tov!
No!
Hello, Eleonora and...
Adrin. I remembered.
This was my first
wedding as a DJ.
I think this is my thing.
I'm truly thankful to you.
And...
Eleonora, you were beautiful.
The complete repair
of the pipelines.
Replacement of the reservoir tank.
We have to fix that.
I might also get married.
If we get back together again...
it would be nice
because we will both...
have experience on marriage.
My cousin's great-great father
brought that tiles
a hundred years ago.
It's impossible to find them.
He brought them from England.
I feel I've gained a daughter
although you are not Jewish.
Is this thing ready?
Are you recording?
I hope you get along well.
You are quite different.
And you should let your child
choose a religion.
What are you doing?
You are a mess.
How can you go around like this?
Let's go. We have
to dance the waltz.
Yes, darling.
I can't take this anymore.
We couldn't buy a present..
but we've brought some money.
- Adrin's friends are a disaster.
- They suck.
-But Agustina found a boyfriend.
-What?
My phone is 1-5-5-247...
Where did we include this?
When I used to play "Life",
the marriage part...
was one of my favorites.
You're an idiot. I can't do it.
My God.
Motherfuckers.
I hope you're happy...
if you can.
I wish the best for him too.
When you're smiling
When you're smiling
Keep on smiling
The whole world smiles with you
And when you're laughing
Keep on laughing
The sun comes shining through
But when you're crying
You bring on the rain
So stop your frowning
Be happy again
Cause when you're smiling
Keep on smiling
The whole world smiles with you
Cause when you're smiling
Keep on smiling
The whole world smiles with you
-I'm happy with you.
- Yes. me too.
We'll get married next year,
but we do the opposite :
it'll be at night... in downtown
with finger-food and I would love
to have a live band
because the DJ has to disappear.
And we'll invite less people.
I don't want any extras.
Alright.
We'll think about it.
Are you ready to begin
our honeymoon?
Yes... do you have
the passports?
- You had them.
- No, you.
We said that you'd put
them together with the money.
You didn't bring the money?