Mother Father Sister Brother Frank (2024) Movie Script
1
[suspenseful pulsing music]
Amen.
[clapping loudly]
So, who wants to carve?
I'll carve.
Mm.
We need more wine.
Jojo, breast?
-Breast or thigh?
-Hmm?
-Oh, um...
-[cell phone buzzes]
Jim, no phone at the table.
Both.
Well, someone's hungry.
This is the good stuff.
Costco had a sale.
Saving it for a special
occasion.
Tonight is a special occasion?
Every Sunday dinner,
with my two precious babies,
is a special occasion,
isn't it?
Say "yes," dear.
-Yes, dear.
-Thank you.
[ominous music]
[food splats]
Oh, no thanks,
I'm doing a cleanse.
A heavy cream
and cheddar cleanse?
Fatty-fatty-boom-boof?
Jim-jamin,
leave your sister alone.
She looks happy.
Healthy.
Robust.
Mom! I'm just taking a break
from booze.
Your blood is proof.
Well, addiction runs
on your father's side.
-Good for you, sweetheart.
-Great-grandfather.
[cell phone buzzes]
Are there bacon bits?
[scoffs] Are there bacon bits?
Of course, I mean,
is the Pope Catholic?
[Jerry] I'll get the bacon bits.
Of course, they're right here.
[Joy] Why would I not make
bacon bits?
There's always room
for bacon.
Here you go, Jojo.
Jim-jamin, red or white?
-Those crispy enough?
-Yeah.
-Beer?
-Uh, no, I'm good--
-We've got plenty in the fridge.
-I know you like them crisp.
Fine, I'll have white.
It's plenty crisp.
[wine glugs]
[Jerry] All right.
That's uh, that's good,
thank you.
[Jerry] Okay.
Don't make me get my belt.
All I ask for
is one evening a week
of your undivided attention.
Whether we like it or not.
A toast.
To a perfect night,
with my precious little babies.
It's bad luck to "cheers"
with water.
[silverware clinks]
-Okay.
-[Joy laughs]
[glasses clink]
[slow, mysterious music]
This.
This is why Sunday family
dinners are so special.
[clears throat softly]
[cell phone buzzes]
[Joy] And I don't why her dog
loves that back Mugo Pine
so much, but it's the third
time this month.
So I call her on the phone,
and I say,
"Ronda, if I find another
mutilated rabbit back there,
I'm just gonna--" [laughs]
Well, okay.
The point of the story is,
it reminded of this time
when the two of you were little.
And, well,
You know if I had my way,
I would just shrink
you both down,
and stuff you back inside,
and do it all over again.
-[Jim] Gross. Gross!
-[Jerry] Oh, my. Ohh!
I gotta pee.
Oh, forgive me
for loving my babies.
Just 'cause they cut
the umbilical cord does--
Oh, Jojo, use the one upstairs.
The doorknob down here
is broken,
it locks you in from the inside.
Don't ask.
Oh, this house!
Oh!
Jerry, we've gotta fix that.
[discordant string music]
[sighs]
[sighs heavily]
[pills rattle]
Okay, what if I was pooping?
You're being weird
tonight, right?
I can't, okay? I can't.
I can't just take another
Sunday dinner,
where we just pretend
we're this cozy family,
where we talk, and we talk,
while Mom talks, and nothing
real is actually said.
Yeah, just put your head down,
and it'll be over soon.
Of course you would say that.
What is that supposed to mean?
Because at the first whiff
of conflict,
you always turtle
back into your shell.
What, I'm supposed
to be up here,
-pounding anxiety pills instead?
-I wasn't!
And, yes, of all of us,
you absolutely should have--
Okay, I'm sorry, I just don't
understand what your problem is.
The problem is Mom
can't get over the fact
that we're not babies anymore.
And I swear to God, if she says
"babies" one more time,
I'm gonna murder somebody.
Pregnant.
What? No.
Did you not hear anything--
I have never seen you
turn down wine.
You have baby on the brain.
And mosquito bites,
your boobs look huge.
They do, don't they?
I'm not pregnant.
-Mm...
-Where's Pete?
Wow. Okay?
Maybe you're avoiding
the subject a little bit?
-I would say?
-I am not avoiding the sub--
Mm!
[retching, gagging]
I'm gonna be a guncle.
[groans]
[lively fiddle music]
We have to tell them, Joy.
Ah, we will,
when the time is right.
The deal was dinner.
Good memories in this house.
-Can we just promise--
-Kids!
-No dessert!
-[Joy] Dishes!
No, they can't handle it, Joy,
otherwise, they'll show up
next Sunday, and--
And then it's Chickenfoot!
I mean, forget the spin cycle,
do I do color?
Do I do stainless steel?
Okay, just buy a new one,
you know?
It's been broken for--
Well, a dishwasher
is an investment piece,
more research is required.
It's just not the right time.
And when will the right time be?
Well, if we bought it already,
we wouldn't be sharing
this bonding moment
with our two babies.
[Jim] Whoa, what's with
all of the--
Costco had a sale.
-Honey, it's still dirty.
-Oh, I got it. I got it!
-Let me do it.
-Kids, your mother and I have--
[gasps]
[Joy] Jerry,
Christ on a cracker,
look what you made me do.
Give it to me.
Nothing is going
to ruin tonight.
Nothing.
[air brakes squeal]
[bus motor idles]
[suspenseful music plays]
[bus engine revs]
[bus rumble fades]
[Joy] Pete works such
long hours,
but Sunday overtime, though.
Ooh, tricky fours.
I love Pete, he's a second son,
but tonight it feels
like old times,
just the four of us.
Yeah, it's too bad
that Pete's missing out.
Tricky threes.
[domino clicks]
[footsteps crunch]
-Still feeling nauseous?
-[Joy] Oh, sweetheart,
you have the tummy rumbles?
I'm fine.
Your turn, Dad.
I already know, Jolene.
I'm just waitin'
for the right time.
[domino clicks]
[footsteps crunch]
Yeah, well, you just stay fine,
because it's pie next,
and then a campfire.
It's freezing outside.
[domino clicks]
[suspenseful music]
Well, it's a good thing
your father spent all afternoon
chopping wood to keep us toasty.
We have to tell them, Joy.
Tell us what?
That this is a Sunday dinner
to remember, that's all!
Oh, we have to rip off
the bandage!
-Dad, what is going on?
-Everything is fine!
Everything is not fine!
-Kids, we have to tell you--
-No, Jerry!
I want one last night!
[knocking forcefully]
[discordant string music]
[door creaks]
Surprise!
Frank.
Jesus, Jerry,
with a face like that,
people might think you weren't
happy to see me.
Baby brother.
-Whoa!
-[gasps]
[laughs wildly]
[suspenseful string music]
There's no fuckin' way
I'm gettin' on a fuckin' plane.
Language.
Pardonnez-moi, Joy.
Gotta keep it loose.
Gotta keep Big Brother
from guessing where I'm at.
So, one of the bus drivers,
a lady driver--
[hiss of indrawn breath]
Total smoke show.
She looks at my ID and says,
uh, "Sanchez?"
I say, "Fuck yeah, Sanchez."
She gives me this deadly look.
Dear old Daddy-o,
he'd have pissed his panties.
[laughs]
Been a quivering pussy
since the day he was born.
But I got to admit,
for a moment there I thought,
fuckin' balls, I'm cooked.
And I paid a little Mexican
fellow mucho pesos
for that ID.
But it turns out,
she just wanted a taste
of Frank's old... hot sauce.
So-- [dishes rattle]
We spent three glorious nights
kapow-ing in El Paso.
Ah, I'm still off the grid.
Life is grand.
But I says to myself,
I says,
"Frank, you gotta get home
by Sunday,
because, uh...
there might be a little
slice of pie in it for you."
Am I right, Joy-less?
You got a slice of pie
for me?
[suspenseful music]
Thursday. We agreed on Thursday.
-What in the Sam heck?
-[fridge door slams]
So, Uncle Frank, how's Mexico?
Oh, you know.
Tamale, tamale, tamale.
Got a couple of golf games in.
Ah! Just happy to be...
home.
-How's about you, Jimbo?
-Oh, uh...
Still sucking the old "D"?
[Joy] Oh, Banana Breeze.
[Frank] Well,
shit in my drawers!
Language.
Joy Jennings' world-famous
Banana Breeze pie.
Only thing in your life
you managed to get right.
If I was on death row,
this would be my last meal.
[hiss of indrawn breath]
Well, don't just stand there
like an asshole, Joy-less.
Let's cut this fucker up!
What the fuck
are you doing here?
-Jolene.
-Jolene.
That's no way to talk
to your uncle, Lady No-Jo.
You've been MIA
in Mexico forever.
Honestly, your absence,
thrilling.
And now you just suddenly
show up on a random Sunday?
What the fuck do you want
this time?
[chuckles]
You haven't told them.
[cackles]
You haven't told them!
Oh, this is good.
This is too, too fucking good.
As if pie wasn't sweet enough,
now I get dinner and a show.
Fuck pie.
I'm gonna want popcorn
for this.
-What is he talking about?
-Jim, Jolene, serve pie.
Jerry, Frank, outside.
Now!
[tense music]
[Jerry] Four more days, we have.
We have four days.
We're not even packed, Frank.
We're not even packed.
[Frank] Why didn't you
tell them--
[all talking at once]
[Jerry] It doesn't matter.
They didn't need to know.
[all talking over each other]
[muffled hum of voices]
Stop with the pie!
Mom said to serve pie,
and so I'm serving pie.
-[cell phone buzzes]
-[Jim sighs]
What could Pete
be texting you right now
that is more important
than this?
-[groaning sigh]
-They're freaking out!
Yeah, everyone is freaking out.
Everyone is freaking out!
-[cell phone buzzes]
-Are you okay?
[sighs] Pete and I
are getting a divorce.
[Jerry, Frank and Joy yelling
all at once]
[screaming over each other]
-[Joy] Oh my God!
-[Jerry] Run, Joy, run!
-[door slams]
-No!
[Joy sobs hysterically]
[long, shaky indrawn breath]
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, my babies.
[breathing shakily]
Your father and I have
something we need to tell you.
[suspenseful music]
[dog barks distantly]
[coughing]
[groans]
[hawks up spit]
[Jerry] Do you want to start? Do
you want to tell them how your--
-[Joy] No, I'll do it.
-[Jerry] Okay, all right.
-The truth is--
-Yeah.
-[sighs]
-Go on.
The truth is, your--
your father and I
may or may not have committed--
-no, committed is--
-Yeah, um, yeah.
It's too strong of a word to--
Yeah, what your mother
is trying to say, is, um,
your mother is trying to say,
I'm-- I'm-- I'm gonna try.
-Ooh.
-[stumbling on words]
Oh. Oh, dang.
Dang, dang, dang.
Pulling the bandage off
is harder than I thought.
Mm!
Okay, okay.
Um, the travel agency,
yeah, yes?
-Yeah.
-[Jerry] Right?
Well, before we closed it
and retired,
um, you know, I mean,
it had been hemorrhaging money
for a decade, I mean,
the apps, and the taps,
and it was just--
it was just terminal.
But-- but a-- a friend
of Pop-Pop's,
an-- an old Navy buddy,
he needed a hip replacement,
and he started
a-- a-- a grow-op.
And you know I have a zero
tolerance policy for--
for-- for drugs,
and although we didn't handle,
personally, the merchandise,
he, um, he-- he--
he-- he needed
somewhere to hide--
-Yeah, not hide, uh, store.
-Store.
-Shift.
-Shift. Shift the extra money.
And, uh, using the, uh,
the travel agency's books,
-we managed to--
-[Joy] Yeah, well,
-we moved a decimal.
-Or three.
Your father's so good
with numbers.
And I'm very good
with that, so we just--
You know, so we thought of
creative ways
-of the travel agency--
-I mean, certain tax loophole...
to bring in income, and then,
you know, spend said income.
...that technically speaking,
weren't within the realm
-of legality, but--
-Yeah, mm-hmm.
[Jerry] The point
of this story is--
Well, the point of the story is
your Uncle Frank caught wind...
[both] And he's blackmailing us.
[both laughing uproariously]
Okay, it just sounded like
you were laundering money,
and you had committed
a federal crime.
A crime!
And that Frank
was blackmailing you.
[Jim] Blackmail! [guffaws]
Well, I don't-- I don't know
what's so funny.
Uh, your father and I
are losing our home.
You.
You're losing your home.
Frank's taking the house.
Tonight's our last Jennings'
family dinner here.
Wait, you two are serious?
Would I make Banana Breeze
for any old Sunday?
Huh?
-Uh--
-No. [scoffs]
No, no, no, no, no.
This is not happening.
[Jerry] Yeah, it is.
He's taking everything.
Everything.
Including the nest egg.
I'm taking the nest egg, too.
What nest egg?
[slow, suspenseful music]
[Jim and Jolene]
Five million dollars?
-Five million.
-[Jerry] Yeah.
-Turns out, moving money--
-Laundering.
-No, shifting.
-Shifting money can be
a very lucrative business.
And you-- and you--
And I am taking all of it.
You know, the hospitality
tonight has been sub-par.
Ah!
I graciously let Joy host one
final Jennings' family dinner
before all of this is mine.
But, uh...
I want you all out tonight.
-That was not the deal, Frank.
-[all talking at once]
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, but you are, Lady No-Jo.
Because if you don't, I'm going
to call a friend of mine
over with the po-po, and--
[imitates siren wailing]
Your dear old Daddy-o here
goes away for a long, long time.
And maybe I'll throw Mom
in there for good luck.
And there's nothing
you can do about it.
This house,
the five mil,
it's all mine.
You can have it back
over my...
dead... body.
[tense music builds]
[cell phone buzzes]
[Jim sighs]
[cell phone buzzes]
[long, slow sigh]
[door rattles, bangs]
-What if I was pooping?
-Stop hiding.
-Mom told us to pack.
-Ah!
We can't let him
get away with this.
We can't let him just take it.
He's taking it.
All of it.
Our home.
Our home!
[dark, tense music]
Well, we knew this was coming.
I've been saying for weeks.
Well, we've worked
all our lives for this.
I mean, to finally have
the life we've always wanted.
Where we wouldn't have to worry.
Where we knew that we had
something squirreled away
when we died, to take care
of our children.
-[cell phone buzzes]
-Okay, this is more important.
More important than my marriage?
-Yes.
-Okay.
Just because you and Carl
weren't able to make it work
doesn't mean that marriage
isn't actually an important,
-sacred thing to--
-Five million dollars.
This house.
Our fucking criminal parents.
Well, we're too old
to start again.
-It'll be fine.
-You're gonna pump gas,
while I bag groceries
until we're 90,
living in some-- oh!
Infested apartment,
uh, while our children,
our poor children,
fend for themselves!
My retirement plan
was this house.
Okay? And now, with this...
-Hmm!
-Pete and I are so broke.
No, they're gonna be alone,
and fend for themselves
with nothing, nothing!
[gasps] Oh, who's gonna take
care of them?
We can't even afford
a divorce.
[coughs violently]
[sniffles]
This is where I birthed
our son, Jim, right here.
Ah, little bugger
practically fell out.
Well, fucking what
are we gonna do?
Pretend it's not happening?
We were supposed to grow old
in this house.
-Gone!
-[clatters]
Gone.
Gone.
We were supposed to die here.
[sobs]
This is where
we're supposed to die!
[tense music builds]
-[glass shatters]
-[Joy screams shrilly]
Oh! [sobbing hysterically]
Gone. Gone.
Gone, gone.
Gone. It's all gone.
Over my dead body.
Oh, I could just kill him!
I could kill him.
[sighs] I really just wish
that he would fuck off, and die.
Yes, he is an asshole,
so it's best to avoid him.
Okay, you can't negotiate
with assholes.
Right.
Negotiate.
-We couldn't.
-Obviously.
-I mean, we can't.
-Of course, you're right.
-He's your brother.
-I mean, sure.
[both] And we aren't those
kind of people.
[discordant string music]
[Ronda] Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
[rattles]
Three and a half. Shit.
Three and a half is just not
wide enough for the plasma.
4K Ultra HD.
It's gonna be epic.
Porn's gonna look so good.
Yeah, porn is gonna look
so good.
[tape measure rattles closed]
[hiss of indrawn breath]
[growls]
Yeah!
[pills crunching]
You're a good man,
Jerry Jennings.
A good, good man.
And you are a good, good woman,
Joy Jennings.
A good, good woman.
And I love you.
Love of my life.
[scraping]
[dishes clink]
[Frank sighs]
Uncle Frank.
Hmm.
[wind howls]
You're a reasonable guy.
Am I?
Maybe we can negotiate.
[chuckles]
Negotiate, huh?
And what incentive
are you bringing
to the table, Lady No-Jo?
Take the money.
All of it, just...
spend that five million dollars
on whatever
wank palace you want.
But leave Mom and Dad
the house.
It means everything to them.
It's-- it's a part of them.
It's a part of us.
I-- I can't imagine a future...
without it.
It would kill them
to lose this place.
[sniffs]
That was beautiful.
You convinced me.
[shaky breaths]
You totally convinced me
that you...
are a shit-wipe,
just like your dad.
You think I want this place
because I need it?
[laughs] No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I might burn this fuckhole
to the ground
if the whim strikes me.
I'm not taking it
because I want it.
I'm taking it
because for the last 30 years,
your father has never
missed a chance
to rub his happiness in my face.
And now?
Now it's my turn to be happy.
Is that your final decision?
Yes, indeed-y, Jolene-y.
I know how much this house
means to Jer,
and Joy-less...
and you.
But now,
it's mine.
So, thank you,
because I'm gonna savor this.
I'm gonna savor
watching you beg.
[tense music]
Yum!
[lip smacking noises]
[loud gulping]
Oh my God.
I'm gonna be sick!
[whimpers]
Huh.
[retching, coughing]
[wind howls]
[melancholy string music]
[mysterious music]
[plate rattles]
[Frank sighs heavily]
-[labored breathing]
-[heartbeat thuds]
Uncle Frank?
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Fine, just, uh...
[Frank wheezing, coughs]
Just, uh...
just a little tired
from the trip, that's all.
[Jerry] Hey, Frank.
Frank, come on up here.
We have to sign the paperwork,
and Joy's got it
all ready to go.
Okay, we're--
we're in the bedroom.
Are you sure you're all right?
Oh, for Christ's sakes!
Not everybody's a pansy
cock-sucker like you.
I said I'm fuckin' fine!
Hold this.
Coming!
[slow, dramatic music]
Destiny awaits.
[Frank breathes slow,
labored breaths]
[wheezing]
Knock, knock, jackal fucks!
-[door slams]
-[glass shatters]
-[Frank screaming]
-[crashing thuds]
[grunts of effort]
[splintering crash]
-[Frank groans]
-[Jerry grunts with effort]
-[glass shatters]
-[Joy screams shrilly]
[loud, repeated thuds]
[Joy sobs]
-[Joy screams]
-[body thuds]
[struggling grunts]
Die!
[Jerry and Frank
grunting with effort]
[Jerry] Die!
[fighting grunts]
[Jolene] Dad!
[fighting grunts]
-[crashing thud]
-Ohhhh!
-God! God!
-[Jolene] Dad!
-[Frank groans]
-[Joy gasps]
Joy.
You wouldn't-- you...
[choking grunts]
[screams]
[crashing thuds]
[gasps repeatedly]
Um...
[Frank whimpering]
My body was in shambles
Had fallen to the floor
I'm goin' home
I'm goin' home
[snarling]
[both screaming]
Jesus Jiminy Cricket!
[Jim screaming fearfully]
Forever more
-[squelching]
-[Jim whimpering]
-[Frank groaning]
-[Jim whimpering]
Aah! Aah! Aaah!
[whimpering, sobbing]
[Frank moaning]
[groaning]
-Oh my God!
-[moaning, wheezing]
[snarling]
[labored gasping]
[grunting, snarling]
[fit of coughing]
Ah! Aaaaaaah!
[gasping and moaning]
[labored breathing]
-[snarling]
-[thunderous crash]
[gasping and wheezing]
[muttering unintelligibly]
[wet, gasping breaths]
I-- I'm getting--
[wet sucking breath]
You think-- ah!
Going home
I'm going home
forever more
[splats]
[coughs, splutters]
[gasping coughs]
[gurgles]
[coughing wetly]
[wet, gulping gasp]
[coughs]
[coughs, splutters]
[shaky sigh]
[choking gasp]
[choking splutters]
[Jim sighs shakily]
[Jerry moans softly]
[hysterical sobbing]
[Jolene] Dad.
Hey, are you okay?
[coughing]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just, uh,
it's just that, uh--
it's-- [laughing manically]
[cackling]
I'm sorry.
It's just that we--
[laughing hysterically]
It's just that-- [coughs]
We did it. We did it.
We did it. I mean, I--
I knew-- I knew we could,
but I ju-- I mean,
and we did, we did it.
We really did it.
We-- we really did it.
I mean, I doubted it
for a second.
But we--
[hysterical laughter]
Oh! Oh!
Ohhh-ho-ho!
Oh! Oh, this champagne,
I saved it for our final
farewell to the house.
With-- you know,
Costco had a sale.
-[Jolene] Right.
-And, uh, but now,
but now we don't have to bid
farewell to anything,
anything, other--
I mean, other than...
Other than-- [snickers]
Because-- Because we--
[cackling wildly]
[coughing] We did it!
Ohhhhh!
Oh, jeez, what a mess, here.
Oh, goodness.
Oh, look at all this.
I think there's one--
oh, look, one, two.
I've-- ah! Oh, good.
I think that works.
Hey! Ah!
Look at all that blood.
It's more than
you would have imagined.
I know. I know, I know.
It's murder, murder, eee!
Oooh, yeeesh!
We-- But I gotta be honest.
I gotta be honest, is--
Is what we did bad?
Is what we did bad?
I mean, obviously.
Obviously, it's bad.
But do I feel good right now?
I mean, I do. I got to admit,
I really, really do.
It's like this weight,
this weight had been
on my shoulders for so long,
and now I just feel--
I feel free.
I feel free! I feel free.
I mean, we're-- we're all free.
That is worth--
is worth celebrating.
-Baby! Boom! [laughs]
-[Joy gasps]
I am-- um-- [clears throat]
I uh, I-- I--
-Oh, son.
-[Jim whimpers]
Oh, that stabbing.
I am so proud of you, kiddo.
No! No.
It was self-defense.
-Here you go, honey.
-No!
Oh, come on, just take a break
from your cleanse.
What, no, it's not the cleanse.
It's that I just
poisoned my uncle.
-Poisoned?
-Yeah.
His slice of Banana Breeze.
I-- I crumbled my lorazepam
up into it.
What? Pills are how white ladies
kill themselves in movies.
I was just improvising.
Well, hot dang, Jojo!
Now we have to celebrate.
Way-- Way to hustle.
Team Jennings!
-Dad!
-What? My brother?
Oh, please.
He's been a-- a monster,
an absolute monster
to me my whole life.
And he finally went too far.
He threatened my family.
Here you go, son.
There you go.
There we go. And we--
What we did was banded together.
We banded together.
Pardon me.
Banded together.
And now, now, we get
to keep our home.
Hmm?
Our home.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
-No, I'm not toasting.
-[Jerry] Come on.
One toast isn't gonna kill ya.
[chuckles] Kill ya.
-Kill ya.
-We are murderers, okay?
-We are murderers!
-No, no, no, no.
I-- I was acting
in self-defense.
[scoffs] For fuck's sake, Jim.
-Oh, language, sweetheart.
-[Jolene] Really, Mom?
If anyone killed him,
it was you.
-Um, you poisoned him.
-You stabbed him.
No! No!
I'm a conflict-avoider.
It was the pie.
-The pie killed him.
-Mom's banana breeze is deadly.
[cackles]
I'm on fire!
Well, if it was anyone,
it was your father.
Oh, he got him good.
Oh, do not sell yourself short,
love of my life.
Oh, you did such a number
on him with that lamp.
Oh, and that push.
It doesn't matter, okay?
It doesn't matter!
We are all guilty.
Teamwork makes the dream work!
No, that's not
what I'm saying, Dad.
We're all guilty.
We're gonna be spending
Jennings' family dinners
in jail, if we don't
take care of this.
No one knows he's here... right?
No.
No one's gonna miss him, right?
Your Uncle Frank
was widely disliked
by basically everyone
who met him.
We're the only family he's got.
So?
So, we gotta get rid
of the body.
We get rid of the body,
and all of this is over.
[dramatic string music]
I have some extra large
garbage bags in the basement.
That's a start.
Thank you.
Finally, we're dealing
with the reality.
They're on the top shelf.
After you, milady.
No champagne until I get back.
I am just so proud of you two.
Okay. Okay.
-We need a plan.
-Jail.
You said jail.
I can't go to jail.
No one is going to jail.
I mean, I've watched a lot
of prison porn,
but it's not the same thing.
Just listen to me, okay?
I'm not gonna give birth
in prison,
because if I'm there,
then Grandma's there,
and Pop-Pop's there,
and Guncle Jim.
We're all there.
So, who gets the baby?
This is not happening.
This is not haaaa--
Hey! I'm not gonna let
baby Judson
grow up with a mom in prison.
We just need a plan.
-Did you say Judson?
-Oh, my God!
There's more important things
to worry about right now!
No, I'm just saying,
I'm surprised you're sticking
with the "J" tradition,
that's all.
[Jolene sighs heavily]
Oh, here they are, these
are them, right, sweetheart?
[door rattles]
Uh, what's up?
Darling, it's freaking me out
a little bit, there.
I don't give a hoot
and a holler about the bags.
-It was all a ruse.
-[Jerry] Oh.
Oh! Ah! Oh.
-Oh. Oh.
-[muffled giggles]
[Jerry] Oh, my.
Oh! Oh!
Oh. Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Ah...
[Joy] I feel so alive.
[moans]
Oh, uh...
Yeah, if I'd known murder
was such an aphrodisiac,
I might have taken a little--
a little blue pill.
Oh! I might not need one.
-[bottles clinking]
-I don't need one!
Oh... Oh!
Oh! [glass shatters] Oh!
I haven't even decided
if I'm keeping it yet.
Well, if you do, and we all
go to prison...
-We won't!
-...then the baby's
just gonna go to the next
closest family member.
His dad.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I'm gonna go see
what's taking them so long.
You don't know who it is.
-You don't know who it is!
-Arghhh!
[door slams]
Mom? Dad?
What's taking so long?
[rhythmic creaking]
[gasps]
-Jerry.
-Yeah, that's my name.
-That's my name.
-No, Jerry.
Jerry!
Oh? Oh.
-[retches]
-Holy hell's bells.
Sweetheart!
Well, you think you'd be happy
that, you know,
there's still a spark
after 30 years.
-I mean--
-Sorry you had to see that.
Whoa! Ow!
[Jolene] No, get away!
[Joy] Honestly, I think
you're being a little dramatic.
-What happened?
-Oh, I think I twisted my wrist.
How could you,
at a time like this?
You know, it took me
by surprise, too.
Oh, honey, at our age, it's--
I could pour bleach in my eyes,
and never unsee that.
-Oh, God.
-Sweetheart.
-Please.
-No, stop, I can't--
I can't talk to you right now!
[gasps]
-[all] Oh!
-[Jolene groans]
[Ronda] Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
-Oh!
-Are you okay, Jojo?
-[Jolene] Shit, shit, shit.
-[Joy] Oh! Oh!
-Steady, steady, honey. Steady.
-[Jerry] Oh my, here, let me--
[Joy] Oh, be careful with that.
-Here, get on your knees.
There we go.
-Are you all right? Oh, honey.
-There we go.
[Joy] Honey, watch your step.
Yeah, just sit--
Oh, wait two ticks.
-Okay.
-Wait two ticks.
-[Jolene sobs]
-[Joy] Yeah. Yeah.
It's okay. It's all right.
Yeah, I just don't think
blood...
and upholstery mix.
Oh, that's such a good idea.
Yeah, okay, all right.
-Okay, honey. Okay, okay.
-Okay, here we go, honey.
-Watch your step.
-Three, two, one, plop-o.
Oh! You went down so hard.
Where does it hurt,
your tailbone?
-Do you need some ice, honey?
-Give her some space.
[Joy] Oh, ice is a good idea.
-Coors chaser, and an Advil--
-Oh, we can put you--
I'm not hurt, okay?
I'm pregnant!
And I'm just crying,
because I'm worried about...
[sighs]
The baby.
Of course, your boobs.
[groans]
Oh, my goodness. [laughs]
Oh, my goodness!
Our baby's having a baby!
-[laughing]
-I'm gonna be a Papa!
[Joy] Yes!
Could this night get any better?
Oh, God!
Oh! Come in here, Uncle Jim!
-Oh! [laughs]
-Get in, group hug!
-Ohhhh!
-Get-- get off!
Get off, okay? Stop!
Stop! I haven't decided
if I'm gonna keep it or not yet.
Oh, of course
you're gonna keep it.
No, not of course.
I was a Fertile Myrtle
at your age,
but that doesn't mean--
You're talking about an A-B-O--
Abortion?
Yeah, an abortion, Dad.
Ugh! Okay, this is exactly
why I didn't say anything,
because I knew this is how
you were gonna react.
So I'm not gonna be a Pop-Pop?
Well, how else are we gonna
react to the glorious news
that our beautiful daughter
is with child?
Ew! Don't say "with child."
[knocking on door]
Hey, y'all!
-[knocking]
-Hello?
-[banging on door]
-I know you're in there.
[knocking]
It's me. Ronda.
You left the lights on,
and it's just--
It's Sunday, so that means
Sunday dinner.
Go!
Oh, okay, well,
I'm just gonna sneak out back,
and check your yard.
See if my Britney's back there,
burying bunnies again.
Um, hey, there, Ronda!
Oh, howdy, Joy,
sorry to bother you.
If you'll just wait two ticks,
we're tidying up in here.
Oh, uh, no rush, but...
I know, I know.
[Ronda] It's kind of
an emergency.
-And I don't want to alarm you.
-Where?
The basement. The basement.
[Ronda] I've been walking
the neighborhood...
[Ronda's words muffled,
indistinct]
Because I've been so upset,
and I haven't really been...
Oh! Ow!
Hey, Jer, is that you?
Oh, hey there, Ronda.
Yeah, my hands are a little
tied at the moment.
Oh, I feel ya.
Well, as I was saying,
by golly, Britney ran away.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?
-[Ronda] She's gone! She's gone!
-Lift him. Lift him!
-[Ronda talking, words unclear]
-What?
-[Jerry] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Lift him! Lift him!
Lift him!
God knows which one is mine.
It's like, uh...
Oh, it's like three, and...
[Ronda continues talking,
words muffled]
-Come on, lift.
-[Jerry] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
What?
Come on, baby.
[Jerry] Oh, I didn't know.
I didn't know.
[Ronda] I told you
about the diabetes!
Go, go!
You know, she's--
She's got the diabetes.
Oh my goodness!
Anyway, she's doing
a lot better...
One, two...
Who's the father?
Oof! [whimpers] Oh!
She's got two knee places,
But her top-- no,
her bottom-- no.
Her bottom knee place,
sometimes she gets a little
hurt-y in there.
-[whimpering]
-[Ronda talking, words muffled]
[Ronda] So I'm just gonna go
check out the backyard.
I'm gonna take a real good look,
if you don't mind.
Oh, my God.
Britney's gone?
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah.
I took her for a pee,
and I didn't realize.
Y'all okay in there?
Oh, sure.
-Sure, sure.
-Yeah, I-- I just turned around,
and don't you know,
she was gone.
Oh, dear.
And with this cold snap.
-That's what I was thinking.
-Well, why weren't you?
Truth is,
we haven't seen her, though.
Oh. Are you sure?
I just know how she loves
that Mugo Pine out back.
-I'm gonna take a peek.
-Nope! No, no.
Um, she's not back there.
I just took a look.
Is that a Banana Breeze
I smell?
Nighty-night, Ronda.
[Ronda] Yeah.
-So I-- ah! Ah! Ah!
-[knocking]
If you see Britney, you'll...
you'll call me, right?
Will do.
[door slams]
Britney!
Britney!
Come to mama, sweetie.
Britney!
Love you, good girl.
[sighs] That was close.
Oh, my God.
Are you smiling?
No.
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with you?
Do we even know
who the father is?
Focus on the task at hand!
Oh, Jesus Christ, Jolene.
He's not going anywhere.
-Who is it?
-It doesn't matter, okay?
-It's my decision.
-Well, sure, but who is it?
-Jim's getting a divorce.
-What?
Nope!
[Joy] Is that true, Jim-jamin?
-That's why Pete's been texting.
-I am stabbing you next.
Oh, my poor baby boy.
What happened?
We're not talking about this.
What happened was Pete.
[Jerry and Joy] Shifty Pete.
That's what your father
and I call him.
-I mean, not to his face.
-[Jim] What?
A little help, please.
Roll him up in the carpet.
It'll slide easier.
Oh, good thinking.
[Joy] The first night
we met Pete,
your father said, "You know,
he's a bit shifty."
[Jerry] And the name
just kind of stuck.
[Jim] Why are you
telling me this?
-You loved Pete.
-[Jim] Love.
Fine, love.
So, we loved Pete.
No heavy lifting.
Please help your sister.
Thing is, Jimmy-Jam,
just because we love Pete--
Well, it doesn't mean
we like Pete.
You don't like Pete?
No.
-No, no, no, no. We love Pete.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, we love Pete.
What?
I don't like him or love him.
Oh, my God!
-[Joy] And now a divorce.
-Are you smiling?
What, sweetheart?
No, I'm not smiling.
-Why didn't you tell us?
-Well, I don't know.
I thought maybe you'd freak out,
like you did over
Jolene's divorce.
But look at you,
you can hardly contain yourself.
Well, that was Carl, though.
[Joy] Yeah, Pete's no Carl.
Yeah. Apples to oranges.
Carl's not as great
as everyone thinks he was.
-Yeah, but wasn't he?
-No!
God forbid you listen
to the person
that was actually married
to him.
[Joy] Well, you two have been
so on and off over the years,
honestly, sweetheart.
You have a history of not
knowing what's best for you.
Carl? This was never
what was best for me.
Carl! Carl's the dad.
[gasps] You're getting back
together with Carl?
Wednesday night poker's
back on the table!
-Oh, that would be so--
-No, Carl's not the father,
and even if he was,
I wouldn't tell you.
Well, of course you wouldn't,
because, you know, it turns out
neither of my children
tell me anything.
[Jolene] Yeah, because you
think we're infants,
and you never tell us
anything, either.
Yeah, the money,
the travel agency,
the fact you hate my husband.
Lorazepam? I mean,
why are you taking Lorazepam?
-Anxiety!
-Why do you have anxiety?
[Jim and Jolene]
Why do you think?
[Jerry] You two
leave your mother alone.
-I didn't want you to worry.
-[Jim] I'm worried!
[Joy] And the money? Well,
The money was supposed
to be a surprise.
Yeah, that's right, a surprise.
We just always want
to protect you,
and-- and do what's best
for you.
[Jolene] What's best for us?
You've been lying to us
for God knows how long,
and now we're going to prison.
And not the sexy kind!
[Jerry] You two aren't too old
for my belt!
Well, isn't this just the best
Sunday dinner ever?
Turns out we live
in a house of lies.
A house of lies!
[all shouting at once,
words unclear]
[loud, repeated thuds]
[all gasp]
-[sighs]
-Ooh.
Well, that went better
than expected.
-Good teamwork, team.
-Oh, my God.
Now what?
I have a plan.
[wind howls]
[whimsical macabre music]
[door creaks]
[Jerry sighs]
Why am I the one
doing this, again?
[Jolene] Exactly.
Let me do it.
Oh, absolutely not.
Not in your condition.
[Jolene] Oh, don't say
"condition."
[Jerry] Your brother's
totally capable.
You've got this, Jim-jamin.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
[Jerry] All right,
attaboy, attaboy.
On the count of three, now.
I don't know, Jer.
[Jerry] No, on the count
of three. On the count of three.
One, two, three.
-Gah! Oh my God.
-[Joy] Oh!
Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
I said start with an arm.
[Jim] I know, I tried, I tried.
I was aiming for the arm.
Oh, this-- this is a nightmare.
This is exactly the trouble
you had with T-Ball.
You have to keep your eyes
on the ball.
No, the problem I had
with T-Ball
is that I never wanted to be
in T-Ball.
There's nothing left
in my stomach.
Oh, it's like the sword
in a stone.
So what's Plan B?
Well, let's give him
a second chance.
-No, Jer, I don't think so.
-No, I mean, obviously,
-he's not up for it.
-[talking all at once]
Dad, he can't.
He just can't hit them...
head-on.
Oh, my God.
Get behind the plastic.
-Watch that tone, young--
-Now!
[groans]
[Jerry] Now, just keep
your eyes open,
on the point of contact, okay?
One, two...
I will go when
I am fucking ready!
-[Joy] Language, Jim.
-[Jolene] No, Mom, not now.
[sighs heavily]
[growls]
[screams]
[meaty thunk]
I did it.
-[laughs]
-I did it!
Well, that, that is one
clean cut.
[Joy] Oh, baby boy,
I'm so proud of you.
[all laugh]
That was actually,
like, not shitty.
-Oh.
-Mm-mm.
Oh, that, yeah.
Right. Yeah.
[Jolene] No, no.
[sobs]
Jesus, Mom.
What? Stop.
-Sweetheart.
-I said stop.
-Oh, Mom.
-[laughs] I'm sorry.
I'm-- I'm sorry, but I'm just--
I'm so proud of you.
[chuckling]
Well, here we are doing this,
but together, as a family.
-It's nice.
-It is.
It's nice.
Oh, you two.
Lay off your mother.
This is what I always wanted
Sunday dinners to be like.
Us. Together.
You two are so grown up.
You're just figuring that out.
Honestly, Jolene, to me,
you've always been my baby girl.
I'm sorry your father
and I lied to you.
I did not give you
enough credit,
but I have to say,
it is kind of a relief
to have it all out in the open.
[chuckling]
And you two have
been very helpful tonight.
Group hug. Group hug.
-No, Dad!
-Come on.
No, come on, you.
Jennings group hug right now.
[groaning]
And you know,
now that we're all
in this together, I feel like...
it's all gonna be okay.
That's right.
It's gonna be okay.
It's all gonna be okay.
[Pete] [knocking] Jim!
I know you're in there, Jim!
I just want to talk!
I swear to God,
if I have to look at
those three little dots
one more time,
I'm gonna fucking
murder someone!
Ooh!
-Pete.
-Shifty Pete.
I fucking love you!
You took my heart!
You ripped it out of my chest!
You ate it, then
you're spitting it on my face!
Go, go, go!
Someone's gonna call the cops.
Open the door, Jim!
This little fucker's gonna
wake up the whole neighborhood.
-Pardon my language, but he is.
-[Jim] I can't.
I cannot face him.
[indistinct], 'cause I'm not
leaving without you, so...
-Why not?
-Get out here, you fuckface!
Because I cheated!
[gasps]
[loud clattering]
And it's my fault
we're getting a divorce.
It's my fault, and I just...
I cannot face him.
[sobbing]
Fine!
Where do you think you're going?
Well, someone's
gotta do something!
Well, look at you!
Oh! [groans] Mother--
I have a plan.
[screaming]
Jim?
Jim!
-Jim!
-[neighbor] Shut up!
You shut up!
You shut up,
you stupid piece of...
Telling me to shut up!
-I don't wanna shut up.
-Hey!
Where is he?
You're gonna piss off
the neighbors.
[Pete] Well, we wouldn't want
that, now would we?
We wouldn't want anybody
to be upset.
He won't give up.
Gimme-- You've had enough.
Stop being so grabby!
What? No, it's not for me.
I'm not drinking right now.
I'm on a cleanse.
Oh, pregnant.
What the fuck?
I'm a pregnancy [indistinct].
[Jolene] Pete, go home!
He's not going anywhere
until he sees you.
Well, you know what?
We can do it.
-Let's-- We can do it.
-He can do it.
You said it yourself.
You underestimated them, Joy.
He's not a child.
You can do it.
You stabbed your uncle.
And chopped off his arm,
and I'm proud of you.
-Where is he?
-No, he's not in here.
I mean, let's face it.
If you can do that,
you can do this.
-Just a little-- little more...
-[Pete] Liar!
-He's here!
-No, he's not! [screaming]
Where is he?
Put me down!
-Where is he?
-Put me down!
-[Jolene screaming]
-[heavy thud]
You might have hurt the baby!
Where is he?
-Give-- give me this.
-No! No!
If he's not here
and he's not answering me,
well, then
maybe he'll answer you.
Call Jim!
[electronic voice] I'm sorry,
I didn't catch that.
-Call fucking Jim!
-[Jim] Pete.
We need to talk.
Yeah. Talk.
That's all I want to do.
Okay, okay. Um...
why don't you and I
find somewhere private
we can quietly
talk this through, yeah?
Okay, yeah, just right in here.
And I will be back
in one minute,
and then we'll hash this out.
-Yeah, yeah, right back.
-No, no, I'll be right back.
-What are you doing?
-[Jim sighs]
Mom said the knob's busted.
The bathroom door locks you in
from the inside.
Okay, yeah,
but now Shifty's in our house.
[Jim] Shifty?
[doorknob rattling]
[Pete] Jim?
-[Jim] I got it covered.
-[Joy] Oh, he's gone.
[Jerry] Attaboy, Jimmy Jim.
Well, he's not gone.
-Um, he's--
-He's locked in the bathroom.
[Pete] Jennings?
Tell me he didn't.
[doorknob rattling]
Oh, he did.
[Pete] Hey!
-I have a plan.
-The plan was to get rid of him!
[shouting]
I'm locked in the bathroom!
What are we gonna do now?
There is an obvious solution.
-We are not killing Pete!
-[Pete knocking]
-[Pete] Jennings?
-Oh, sweetheart,
-I-- I was kidding.
-[Pete] Jennings!
I was kidding.
[Pete] I'm locked in
the bathroom!
I was kidding.
[knocking loudly]
-Jim!
-I said I have a plan,
and I have a fucking plan,
and I swear to God, Mom,
if you tell me to watch
my language, I might explode.
Okay, out of
those bloody clothes,
and we're gonna need
more plastic.
No worries.
Costco had a sale.
[rapid, off-beat
fiddle instrumental]
Help!
Anyone?
[sobbing]
Nobody wants to help Pete.
[Pete gasps]
I am pooping!
No, first--
first you cheat,
then-- then you don't
text me back,
and then you lock me
in this bathroom?
Like, I don't even know
who you are anymore.
I can't trust you.
Please wash your hands.
Okay, yeah.
[Pete] I just--
I just want the truth.
Okay.
The truth is...
I don't want to get a divorce.
I love you, and I am so...
I am so sorry about the...
[groans]
Jim, you think
I'm mad about the...
about the...
-Sex. I'm miming sex.
-Yeah, I got it. I got it.
No, I'm mad you lied.
I'm mad that you didn't
tell me that's what you wanted.
I'm mad--
Jim, when I married you,
I signed on for all of you.
But then I found out
that there was this truth
that you didn't think
that you could share with me.
[Jim sighs]
When it happened, um...
I couldn't face it.
I, uh...
I couldn't face you.
Everybody makes mistakes.
-I can forgive that.
-Oh, my God...
I can't forgive you
for lying to me about it.
That made me feel so...
small.
It makes me feel too irrelevant.
I promise you,
I will never, ever
lie to you ever again.
Okay?
Does your family like me?
No.
No, they don't.
Um, they really...
They really don't.
[Pete chuckling quietly]
The truth is really harsh.
I know it is.
That's why
I usually don't do it.
Why don't they like me?
I don't-- Honestly,
I don't know. I don't know.
I like you. I love you.
-Okay?
-Yeah.
[chuckling] Yeah.
I'm really, really drunk.
Yeah.
[hammering, clattering]
[rapid, off-beat
fiddle instrumental]
Okay.
We are leaving the bathroom.
Oh, my God, yes.
We are leaving that bathroom!
Oh. Oh, my goodness, Pete.
-Didn't even know you...
-Stuff it, Joy.
You don't like me?
None of you?
None of you like me?
You know what?
Jennings, you're not
so fucking likable yourselves.
Not very likable.
[Jim] Time to go.
-We can talk about this later.
-The thing is,
we all have something in common.
We love this man.
We love this man. Love you.
And I'd like to think that
that would mean
-that maybe we...
-[police siren chirping]
[tense string instrumental]
[whispering] It's the po-po.
[knocking loudly]
Officer--
oh, it started snowing.
-Ma'am?
-Yeah?
I had a complaint about
a domestic disturbance, ma'am.
Oh.
Are you an occupant
of this residence, ma'am?
Yes, officer.
There's been complaints of...
public drunkenness,
obscene language,
beeping persons,
excessive noise,
parentheses, yelling, crying,
shrieking, end parentheses,
and what can only be described
as general tomfoolery.
-Were you aware of this, ma'am?
-No, no, officer.
Do I have your consent
to enter your home
so that we might continue
this conversation
in less chilly
conditions, ma'am?
Officer, we were just about
-to sit down here to...
-Ma'am,
if you are currently
under duress
or facing
the threat of violence,
should you
in any way feel unsafe,
and it is for these
aforementioned reasons
that you are reluctant
to invite me into your home,
I will take your blinking twice
as a sign that
you require assistance,
and will take immediate action
to remove you
from said situation, ma'am.
Have I made myself clear, ma'am?
I, uh-- [stammering]
Is that an execution
of said signal, ma'am?
-No. Oh, no! No!
-Ma'am. Ma'am.
Officer, I'm fine.
Totally fine.
Everything's fine.
Well, then,
I look most favorably
to being invited inside
so that we might, A,
escape this cold, and B,
ensure that you
and your loved ones are safe.
Well, officer...
It's the neighborly thing
to do, ma'am.
Right. Right, of course.
Um, Officer...
-Truman.
-Truman.
-Officer Truman.
-Truman.
Well, welcome, Officer Truman.
[Joy] Officer Truman's
coming in the house.
-Evening, folks.
-Evening, officer.
And who do I have
the pleasure of addressing?
Oh, this is my husband, Jerry,
and my daughter, Jolene,
and my son, Jim, and I'm Joy.
Surname? Jennings.
Joy Jennings.
Jerry, Jen, Jolene,
and Joy Jennings?
-Mm-hmm.
-[Jim chuckling]
They have
this whole J obsession.
It's tragic.
I'm Pete!
Yes, of course, Pete.
How could I forget Pete?
-They're gay-married.
-It's just married, Jerry.
Almost divorced.
But if this little
handsome devil shapes up,
then we just might
be able to tough it out.
[whispering] He's hot! Ooh.
[sniffing]
You folks having a party?
Oh, no, just our regular
Sunday family dinner.
Then might
I inquire about the...
[chuckling]
-Oh.
-[chuckling]
I just feel
comfortable with that.
[Jim] Yeah, I get to...
Yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
Sir?
[tense instrumental]
Murder?
Mur-der?
Murder!
Murder!
Wow. You guys had a murder
mystery dinner without me?
-Oh.
-[chuckling]
[door creaking]
Every Jennings family dinner
for the last three years,
I have suggested that we just
shake things up a little bit
and totally try
a murder mystery dinner theme,
and you all look at me
like I've got 12 dicks
growing out of my forehead.
I'm assuming this is the cause
of the disturbance, ma'am.
It's-- it's-- it's fine
if you don't like me,
that's fine.
It's fine that you locked me
in a bathroom.
But this?
Oh, this is too much.
Too much.
I can forgive you
for fucking a bartender,
but having a murder mystery
without me?
I mean, come on.
Sir, please expand on
being locked in the bathroom.
Oh, officer, he wasn't locked in
so much as he was stuck.
He probably blacked out.
I blacked out?
Yep.
Folks, I'm gonna need to take
a look around.
Are there any other persons
on the premises?
[all] No, no, no. No.
You folks doing some renovating?
-[all] Yes, yes, yes.
-[Jim] New walls and things.
-[Pete] You're renovating?
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, thank God.
This ancient wallpaper
is deadly.
What color are you going with?
[all] Red.
And I assume
this is the basement?
Oh, officer!
Uh, where are our manners?
Jim, why don't you give
the kind, friendly officer
a grand tour?
Of course, of course.
The kitchen. We gotta start
the tour in the kitchen.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Ma'am?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
One should always start
a tour upstairs.
Officer,
please join me upstairs.
Holy fuck!
Jesus!
[Jolene gasping]
[Jim] Holy Jesus!
Fuck! Um, um,
you're gonna love upstairs.
[phone buzzing]
Folks, is there
something going on here
that you're not
telling me about?
Hey, Carl!
Why would you answer my phone?
'Cause it's Carl. I love Carl.
I can't talk right now.
Oh, 'cause it's not mine?
Jojo here is preggers,
and I'm gonna be a pop-pop.
-Hi, Carl!
-Hey, Carl!
Howdy, Jennings.
Y'all having
a super Sunday dinner?
Oh, yeah, it's really great.
Hey, Carl,
say hi to Officer Truman.
Hello, officer.
Carl?
Trust me, the baby is yours.
[clears throat] This seems
like a family matter.
Why don't I lead you to it?
-Hey, Carl!
-[Carl] Howdy, Jim.
It's 100% yours.
I didn't want to do this
in front of an audience,
but okie-dokie.
You can't be sure it's mine.
I mean, come on, we're
talking about you here, Jolene.
We were both drunk, and to
be honest...
you were a mistake.
But I'm happy to do
the gentlemanly thing
and go halfers with you
to get rid of it.
And I wouldn't want you all
thinking I'm not a good guy.
Fuck you, Carl.
Mrs. Jennings?
Don't you Mrs. Jennings her.
My daughter is no one's mistake.
She and only she
knows what's best for her,
so you can fuck off!
[call ends]
Thanks, Mom.
That?
That is not a good guy.
And to think, you liked to him
more than you like Pete here.
Oh, no, puppy.
You must be frozen.
[all] Pete! Pete!
Officer, officer, see,
this happens all the time.
The neighbor's dog,
Britney, getting loose.
They got it.
The poor dog was [indistinct].
That chew toy?
Super realistic.
Ma'am, step aside.
-[barking]
-This way?
Banana Breeze is
my goddamn favorite.
-This way.
-[Britney barking]
[barking]
Folks, I'm getting
the feeling that tonight...
something fishy is going on.
Fishy? Hmm...
Fishy? No.
[Jolene] Fishy?
-Fishy?
I don't know what you could
possibly mean, officer.
-[barking]
-Something ain't right.
Hey, my pie!
My shenanigans alarm is
buzzing at a code red, folks.
No shenanigans here, officer.
Just a regular old
Jennings Sunday dinner.
No, something ain't right.
And I'm not leaving here
until I get to the bottom of it.
Wait, where'd the dog go?
Oh, no, she escaped
out the front door.
She must have got out
when you left the door open.
I did not move the door--
-Are you sure you didn't?
-You absolutely moved--
Now, that's it.
Somebody better start giving
me some honest answers
right now
or I'm calling for backup.
-This is Truman--
-Wait, officer.
-[dispatch] ...go ahead.
-I'm gonna need
-some backup over here.
-I confess.
-Joy?
-Mom?
Mom.
-10-12, copy.
-[Jerry] Sweetheart?
I confess.
I confess that tonight's
been fucking awful.
-Ma'am, language.
-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
But we have been lying
to our kids...
for a long, long time.
That's right.
We've been having
some financial...
-hiccups.
-Bumps.
And our finances took
a, uh, serious... tumble.
And the reality of
suddenly losing our home
really knocked us over the head.
And if we hadn't lied
to our kids,
none of this
would have happened.
See, officer,
we had this huge fight,
and-- and I--
I poisoned the night
because I was keeping
this big secret to myself.
And the final twist of
the knife is I was lying, too.
I, uh, cheated on my husband.
And not only
was I lying to him...
Giant asshole.
I was lying to all of them, too.
So if-- if you were
getting the sense, officer,
that something fishy
was going on, it--
it's just because, well,
tonight's been, um...
well...
tonight's been murder.
[exhaling]
[dispatch] Still need that
backup, Truman? Copy.
That's an affirmative on that.
Girl! Enough
with the backup, 'kay?
Like, just--
just get out of here already.
The only thing that's going on
here tonight is family.
Fa-mi-ly.
I mean, you love 'em,
but some nights
you just wanna kill them.
[all chuckling]
-[radio beeping]
-Cancel that backup.
That is a negativo
on backup. Over.
[chuckling] I can relate.
Okay? Family, right?
It's just like...
[mimicking arguing]
[all chuckling
You know, you just...
[choking]
You know? [chuckling]
You know.
[dispatch]
Well, if you're done with
the 4-25 on Pine Crescent Way,
We have a lady 'round there,
Rhonda, won't stop calling.
Afraid she's in a panic
about her dog, Britney.
Well, ain't that
a dang coincidence?
I think I got
a 10-20 on said dog.
Well, duty calls.
I'll leave you to sort out
whatever family drama
you got going on.
-Good night, Jennings.
-[Jerry] Good night.
Wait.
[tense instrumental]
That still doesn't explain why
you're all wearing
Halloween costumes.
Oh, oh, oh, oopsie-daisies.
[sighing]
You're very, very handsome.
I-- I probably
shouldn't drive home.
Do you want to be my D.D.?
Drop me off at home
after we get that dog?
I would totally blow over.
That's fine.
Good night, Jennings.
Pete, you're with me.
Officer in hot pursuit.
Good night, Jennings-es.
[relieved chuckling and sighing]
Listen up, you fuckers.
I don't know
what's going on with the dog
and the plastic
and all you nervous Nellies,
but you better never forget
that it was Pete,
Pete that got rid of
the pigs for you.
You owe me, Jennings.
So next time I say we're having
a goddamn murder mystery,
we're having
a goddamn murder mystery.
-Shifty Pete.
-Shifty Pete.
See? He's actually
a really good guy.
Oh, my God.
Can we lock the door?
Now what?
I have a plan.
[rhythmic drumming]
Ooh-ooh
You got this.
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
You're six feet
under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But I think I'm cracking
from,
cracking from
Six feet under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But my bones are cracking
from missing you
Taking out the trash
Wasn't trying
to tell you to leave
What's a good backbone if you
don't have the nerve to grieve
You could tell a good story
You could make
the blind believe
But right now
I wish I had some of
Your tests up my sleeve
You're six feet
under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But I think I'm cracking
from,
cracking from
Six feet under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But my bones are cracking
from missing you
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Six feet
[shower running]
[inhaling deeply]
[exhaling]
Mother's Day, '96.
A homemade masterpiece
from my beautiful baby girl.
Mom.
What? I just dug around
in my closet
and found some old stuff
I thought might fit you.
-I can see what you're doing.
-I--
I know, I know.
Eh. You had me model it up
and down the hallway.
[chuckling]
I'm not really sure if, um...
I know.
I know, Jojo.
You know, what I said
to Carl is the truth.
It's your decision to make.
And whatever you choose...
it's gonna be
what's best for you.
'Cause, even though
you'll always be my baby...
you're not a child.
You're a grown-ass woman.
[chuckling] Ew.
Please don't say grown-ass.
Well, you are my baby.
And you're a grown-ass woman.
I'm terrified.
I-- I don't know
if I can do it alone.
Jolene, you will never be alone.
I'd kill 10,000
Uncle Franks for you.
[chuckling] Watch out,
give me the--
-[fire thumping]
-Whoa! That's awesome.
That's awesome.
[Jim] Oh...
Okay, here we go.
Good man, good man,
good man. Cheers.
You may have surprised
your mother tonight, but not me.
You're the bravest man I know.
Dad...
I'm serious. I'm serious.
I just, you know,
I'm always surprised
at how much you doubt yourself.
Coming out in a place
like this at your age,
I'm in awe of how
much courage that took.
I mean, marriage--
marriage, man...
it ain't easy.
I mean, you look at
your mother and I, you think...
you think after
30-odd years under our belt,
we haven't had our share of,
you know...
Really?
Well, sure.
Sure. Me and your mom before
you and your sister, that is.
You know, we'd go to
these parties, and...
we'd throw our keys in
a bowl and--
Oh, my God, Dad, no, no, no, no.
Not every truth has
to come out tonight, okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, your loss.
Your loss.
Just saying that marriage,
you know,
in order for marriage to work,
you have to be brave enough
to not hide from each other.
Oh.
And you're...
you're braver than you think.
[sentimental instrumental]
[both chuckling]
[sighing]
Ah, here we go.
[Jolene chuckling]
Dad, I told you that I'm...
It's-- Christ's sakes,
it's root beer.
Oh. Well, good.
That's more appropriate
pop-pop behavior.
Oh
Number one mom.
[chuckling] Stop.
Come in here.
Jennings group hug.
Jennings group hug.
...In Gloryland
[tearfully] I love you guys.
...Who left because of pain
Thank God up there
They'll die no more
They'll suffer not again
Then weep not, friends
I'm going home
Up there we'll die no more
No coffins will
Be made up there
No graves on
that bright shore
From now on, Sunday dinners
come with leftovers.
Every week you burn them
in a new place.
Until they're all gone.
Until they're all gone.
Until they're all gone.
Until they're all gone.
[quirky, upbeat instrumental]
Okay, who's hungry?
-Me!
-I'll get some orange juice.
There's nothing left in my body.
Yes, I know.
[chattering indistinctly]
Say, I've thinking to myself
There's no sight
I'd rather see
It's the love you set in me
And hey,
at the end of every day
You could tell me everything
Even twisted it's okay
It might be
ground level love
But I won't change my mind
Christina. Christina!
No, Christina.
Christina.
No, no, Christina.
Leave Brittany alone.
Thank you. Thank you.
You're not just enough
-[Britney retching]
-Aw...
Still got an upset tum-tum.
Poor girl.
It's a trickle in my blood
I don't think I'll ever find
Oh, what's that?
I don't think
I'll ever find
Is-- is that a thumb?
Brittany, is that a thumb?
Brittany, is that a thumb?!
So take me away
I'll be your balcony sunset
Refuel the words
that we once said
You can tell me, we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother, wait
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct lyrics]
You can tell me, we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother
Mother, father,
sister, brother
See this clay
We can make it anything
Build a new life every day
You can make a mess with me
Throw our worries in the bay
I don't want you
losing sleep
Won't you snuggle next to me
I need you,
what else can I say
So take me away
I'll be your balcony sunset
Refuel the words that
we once said
You can tell me,
we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother, wait
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct lyrics]
You can tell me,
we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother
Mother, father,
sister, brother
Mother, father,
sister, brother
We got time,
but we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother
There'll be no sun
In Gloryland
The moon and stars
won't shine
For Christ himself
Is light up there
He reigns on love divine
Then weep not, friends
I'm going home
Up there we'll die no more
No coffins will
Be made up there
No graves on
that bright shore
[suspenseful pulsing music]
Amen.
[clapping loudly]
So, who wants to carve?
I'll carve.
Mm.
We need more wine.
Jojo, breast?
-Breast or thigh?
-Hmm?
-Oh, um...
-[cell phone buzzes]
Jim, no phone at the table.
Both.
Well, someone's hungry.
This is the good stuff.
Costco had a sale.
Saving it for a special
occasion.
Tonight is a special occasion?
Every Sunday dinner,
with my two precious babies,
is a special occasion,
isn't it?
Say "yes," dear.
-Yes, dear.
-Thank you.
[ominous music]
[food splats]
Oh, no thanks,
I'm doing a cleanse.
A heavy cream
and cheddar cleanse?
Fatty-fatty-boom-boof?
Jim-jamin,
leave your sister alone.
She looks happy.
Healthy.
Robust.
Mom! I'm just taking a break
from booze.
Your blood is proof.
Well, addiction runs
on your father's side.
-Good for you, sweetheart.
-Great-grandfather.
[cell phone buzzes]
Are there bacon bits?
[scoffs] Are there bacon bits?
Of course, I mean,
is the Pope Catholic?
[Jerry] I'll get the bacon bits.
Of course, they're right here.
[Joy] Why would I not make
bacon bits?
There's always room
for bacon.
Here you go, Jojo.
Jim-jamin, red or white?
-Those crispy enough?
-Yeah.
-Beer?
-Uh, no, I'm good--
-We've got plenty in the fridge.
-I know you like them crisp.
Fine, I'll have white.
It's plenty crisp.
[wine glugs]
[Jerry] All right.
That's uh, that's good,
thank you.
[Jerry] Okay.
Don't make me get my belt.
All I ask for
is one evening a week
of your undivided attention.
Whether we like it or not.
A toast.
To a perfect night,
with my precious little babies.
It's bad luck to "cheers"
with water.
[silverware clinks]
-Okay.
-[Joy laughs]
[glasses clink]
[slow, mysterious music]
This.
This is why Sunday family
dinners are so special.
[clears throat softly]
[cell phone buzzes]
[Joy] And I don't why her dog
loves that back Mugo Pine
so much, but it's the third
time this month.
So I call her on the phone,
and I say,
"Ronda, if I find another
mutilated rabbit back there,
I'm just gonna--" [laughs]
Well, okay.
The point of the story is,
it reminded of this time
when the two of you were little.
And, well,
You know if I had my way,
I would just shrink
you both down,
and stuff you back inside,
and do it all over again.
-[Jim] Gross. Gross!
-[Jerry] Oh, my. Ohh!
I gotta pee.
Oh, forgive me
for loving my babies.
Just 'cause they cut
the umbilical cord does--
Oh, Jojo, use the one upstairs.
The doorknob down here
is broken,
it locks you in from the inside.
Don't ask.
Oh, this house!
Oh!
Jerry, we've gotta fix that.
[discordant string music]
[sighs]
[sighs heavily]
[pills rattle]
Okay, what if I was pooping?
You're being weird
tonight, right?
I can't, okay? I can't.
I can't just take another
Sunday dinner,
where we just pretend
we're this cozy family,
where we talk, and we talk,
while Mom talks, and nothing
real is actually said.
Yeah, just put your head down,
and it'll be over soon.
Of course you would say that.
What is that supposed to mean?
Because at the first whiff
of conflict,
you always turtle
back into your shell.
What, I'm supposed
to be up here,
-pounding anxiety pills instead?
-I wasn't!
And, yes, of all of us,
you absolutely should have--
Okay, I'm sorry, I just don't
understand what your problem is.
The problem is Mom
can't get over the fact
that we're not babies anymore.
And I swear to God, if she says
"babies" one more time,
I'm gonna murder somebody.
Pregnant.
What? No.
Did you not hear anything--
I have never seen you
turn down wine.
You have baby on the brain.
And mosquito bites,
your boobs look huge.
They do, don't they?
I'm not pregnant.
-Mm...
-Where's Pete?
Wow. Okay?
Maybe you're avoiding
the subject a little bit?
-I would say?
-I am not avoiding the sub--
Mm!
[retching, gagging]
I'm gonna be a guncle.
[groans]
[lively fiddle music]
We have to tell them, Joy.
Ah, we will,
when the time is right.
The deal was dinner.
Good memories in this house.
-Can we just promise--
-Kids!
-No dessert!
-[Joy] Dishes!
No, they can't handle it, Joy,
otherwise, they'll show up
next Sunday, and--
And then it's Chickenfoot!
I mean, forget the spin cycle,
do I do color?
Do I do stainless steel?
Okay, just buy a new one,
you know?
It's been broken for--
Well, a dishwasher
is an investment piece,
more research is required.
It's just not the right time.
And when will the right time be?
Well, if we bought it already,
we wouldn't be sharing
this bonding moment
with our two babies.
[Jim] Whoa, what's with
all of the--
Costco had a sale.
-Honey, it's still dirty.
-Oh, I got it. I got it!
-Let me do it.
-Kids, your mother and I have--
[gasps]
[Joy] Jerry,
Christ on a cracker,
look what you made me do.
Give it to me.
Nothing is going
to ruin tonight.
Nothing.
[air brakes squeal]
[bus motor idles]
[suspenseful music plays]
[bus engine revs]
[bus rumble fades]
[Joy] Pete works such
long hours,
but Sunday overtime, though.
Ooh, tricky fours.
I love Pete, he's a second son,
but tonight it feels
like old times,
just the four of us.
Yeah, it's too bad
that Pete's missing out.
Tricky threes.
[domino clicks]
[footsteps crunch]
-Still feeling nauseous?
-[Joy] Oh, sweetheart,
you have the tummy rumbles?
I'm fine.
Your turn, Dad.
I already know, Jolene.
I'm just waitin'
for the right time.
[domino clicks]
[footsteps crunch]
Yeah, well, you just stay fine,
because it's pie next,
and then a campfire.
It's freezing outside.
[domino clicks]
[suspenseful music]
Well, it's a good thing
your father spent all afternoon
chopping wood to keep us toasty.
We have to tell them, Joy.
Tell us what?
That this is a Sunday dinner
to remember, that's all!
Oh, we have to rip off
the bandage!
-Dad, what is going on?
-Everything is fine!
Everything is not fine!
-Kids, we have to tell you--
-No, Jerry!
I want one last night!
[knocking forcefully]
[discordant string music]
[door creaks]
Surprise!
Frank.
Jesus, Jerry,
with a face like that,
people might think you weren't
happy to see me.
Baby brother.
-Whoa!
-[gasps]
[laughs wildly]
[suspenseful string music]
There's no fuckin' way
I'm gettin' on a fuckin' plane.
Language.
Pardonnez-moi, Joy.
Gotta keep it loose.
Gotta keep Big Brother
from guessing where I'm at.
So, one of the bus drivers,
a lady driver--
[hiss of indrawn breath]
Total smoke show.
She looks at my ID and says,
uh, "Sanchez?"
I say, "Fuck yeah, Sanchez."
She gives me this deadly look.
Dear old Daddy-o,
he'd have pissed his panties.
[laughs]
Been a quivering pussy
since the day he was born.
But I got to admit,
for a moment there I thought,
fuckin' balls, I'm cooked.
And I paid a little Mexican
fellow mucho pesos
for that ID.
But it turns out,
she just wanted a taste
of Frank's old... hot sauce.
So-- [dishes rattle]
We spent three glorious nights
kapow-ing in El Paso.
Ah, I'm still off the grid.
Life is grand.
But I says to myself,
I says,
"Frank, you gotta get home
by Sunday,
because, uh...
there might be a little
slice of pie in it for you."
Am I right, Joy-less?
You got a slice of pie
for me?
[suspenseful music]
Thursday. We agreed on Thursday.
-What in the Sam heck?
-[fridge door slams]
So, Uncle Frank, how's Mexico?
Oh, you know.
Tamale, tamale, tamale.
Got a couple of golf games in.
Ah! Just happy to be...
home.
-How's about you, Jimbo?
-Oh, uh...
Still sucking the old "D"?
[Joy] Oh, Banana Breeze.
[Frank] Well,
shit in my drawers!
Language.
Joy Jennings' world-famous
Banana Breeze pie.
Only thing in your life
you managed to get right.
If I was on death row,
this would be my last meal.
[hiss of indrawn breath]
Well, don't just stand there
like an asshole, Joy-less.
Let's cut this fucker up!
What the fuck
are you doing here?
-Jolene.
-Jolene.
That's no way to talk
to your uncle, Lady No-Jo.
You've been MIA
in Mexico forever.
Honestly, your absence,
thrilling.
And now you just suddenly
show up on a random Sunday?
What the fuck do you want
this time?
[chuckles]
You haven't told them.
[cackles]
You haven't told them!
Oh, this is good.
This is too, too fucking good.
As if pie wasn't sweet enough,
now I get dinner and a show.
Fuck pie.
I'm gonna want popcorn
for this.
-What is he talking about?
-Jim, Jolene, serve pie.
Jerry, Frank, outside.
Now!
[tense music]
[Jerry] Four more days, we have.
We have four days.
We're not even packed, Frank.
We're not even packed.
[Frank] Why didn't you
tell them--
[all talking at once]
[Jerry] It doesn't matter.
They didn't need to know.
[all talking over each other]
[muffled hum of voices]
Stop with the pie!
Mom said to serve pie,
and so I'm serving pie.
-[cell phone buzzes]
-[Jim sighs]
What could Pete
be texting you right now
that is more important
than this?
-[groaning sigh]
-They're freaking out!
Yeah, everyone is freaking out.
Everyone is freaking out!
-[cell phone buzzes]
-Are you okay?
[sighs] Pete and I
are getting a divorce.
[Jerry, Frank and Joy yelling
all at once]
[screaming over each other]
-[Joy] Oh my God!
-[Jerry] Run, Joy, run!
-[door slams]
-No!
[Joy sobs hysterically]
[long, shaky indrawn breath]
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, my babies.
[breathing shakily]
Your father and I have
something we need to tell you.
[suspenseful music]
[dog barks distantly]
[coughing]
[groans]
[hawks up spit]
[Jerry] Do you want to start? Do
you want to tell them how your--
-[Joy] No, I'll do it.
-[Jerry] Okay, all right.
-The truth is--
-Yeah.
-[sighs]
-Go on.
The truth is, your--
your father and I
may or may not have committed--
-no, committed is--
-Yeah, um, yeah.
It's too strong of a word to--
Yeah, what your mother
is trying to say, is, um,
your mother is trying to say,
I'm-- I'm-- I'm gonna try.
-Ooh.
-[stumbling on words]
Oh. Oh, dang.
Dang, dang, dang.
Pulling the bandage off
is harder than I thought.
Mm!
Okay, okay.
Um, the travel agency,
yeah, yes?
-Yeah.
-[Jerry] Right?
Well, before we closed it
and retired,
um, you know, I mean,
it had been hemorrhaging money
for a decade, I mean,
the apps, and the taps,
and it was just--
it was just terminal.
But-- but a-- a friend
of Pop-Pop's,
an-- an old Navy buddy,
he needed a hip replacement,
and he started
a-- a-- a grow-op.
And you know I have a zero
tolerance policy for--
for-- for drugs,
and although we didn't handle,
personally, the merchandise,
he, um, he-- he--
he-- he needed
somewhere to hide--
-Yeah, not hide, uh, store.
-Store.
-Shift.
-Shift. Shift the extra money.
And, uh, using the, uh,
the travel agency's books,
-we managed to--
-[Joy] Yeah, well,
-we moved a decimal.
-Or three.
Your father's so good
with numbers.
And I'm very good
with that, so we just--
You know, so we thought of
creative ways
-of the travel agency--
-I mean, certain tax loophole...
to bring in income, and then,
you know, spend said income.
...that technically speaking,
weren't within the realm
-of legality, but--
-Yeah, mm-hmm.
[Jerry] The point
of this story is--
Well, the point of the story is
your Uncle Frank caught wind...
[both] And he's blackmailing us.
[both laughing uproariously]
Okay, it just sounded like
you were laundering money,
and you had committed
a federal crime.
A crime!
And that Frank
was blackmailing you.
[Jim] Blackmail! [guffaws]
Well, I don't-- I don't know
what's so funny.
Uh, your father and I
are losing our home.
You.
You're losing your home.
Frank's taking the house.
Tonight's our last Jennings'
family dinner here.
Wait, you two are serious?
Would I make Banana Breeze
for any old Sunday?
Huh?
-Uh--
-No. [scoffs]
No, no, no, no, no.
This is not happening.
[Jerry] Yeah, it is.
He's taking everything.
Everything.
Including the nest egg.
I'm taking the nest egg, too.
What nest egg?
[slow, suspenseful music]
[Jim and Jolene]
Five million dollars?
-Five million.
-[Jerry] Yeah.
-Turns out, moving money--
-Laundering.
-No, shifting.
-Shifting money can be
a very lucrative business.
And you-- and you--
And I am taking all of it.
You know, the hospitality
tonight has been sub-par.
Ah!
I graciously let Joy host one
final Jennings' family dinner
before all of this is mine.
But, uh...
I want you all out tonight.
-That was not the deal, Frank.
-[all talking at once]
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, but you are, Lady No-Jo.
Because if you don't, I'm going
to call a friend of mine
over with the po-po, and--
[imitates siren wailing]
Your dear old Daddy-o here
goes away for a long, long time.
And maybe I'll throw Mom
in there for good luck.
And there's nothing
you can do about it.
This house,
the five mil,
it's all mine.
You can have it back
over my...
dead... body.
[tense music builds]
[cell phone buzzes]
[Jim sighs]
[cell phone buzzes]
[long, slow sigh]
[door rattles, bangs]
-What if I was pooping?
-Stop hiding.
-Mom told us to pack.
-Ah!
We can't let him
get away with this.
We can't let him just take it.
He's taking it.
All of it.
Our home.
Our home!
[dark, tense music]
Well, we knew this was coming.
I've been saying for weeks.
Well, we've worked
all our lives for this.
I mean, to finally have
the life we've always wanted.
Where we wouldn't have to worry.
Where we knew that we had
something squirreled away
when we died, to take care
of our children.
-[cell phone buzzes]
-Okay, this is more important.
More important than my marriage?
-Yes.
-Okay.
Just because you and Carl
weren't able to make it work
doesn't mean that marriage
isn't actually an important,
-sacred thing to--
-Five million dollars.
This house.
Our fucking criminal parents.
Well, we're too old
to start again.
-It'll be fine.
-You're gonna pump gas,
while I bag groceries
until we're 90,
living in some-- oh!
Infested apartment,
uh, while our children,
our poor children,
fend for themselves!
My retirement plan
was this house.
Okay? And now, with this...
-Hmm!
-Pete and I are so broke.
No, they're gonna be alone,
and fend for themselves
with nothing, nothing!
[gasps] Oh, who's gonna take
care of them?
We can't even afford
a divorce.
[coughs violently]
[sniffles]
This is where I birthed
our son, Jim, right here.
Ah, little bugger
practically fell out.
Well, fucking what
are we gonna do?
Pretend it's not happening?
We were supposed to grow old
in this house.
-Gone!
-[clatters]
Gone.
Gone.
We were supposed to die here.
[sobs]
This is where
we're supposed to die!
[tense music builds]
-[glass shatters]
-[Joy screams shrilly]
Oh! [sobbing hysterically]
Gone. Gone.
Gone, gone.
Gone. It's all gone.
Over my dead body.
Oh, I could just kill him!
I could kill him.
[sighs] I really just wish
that he would fuck off, and die.
Yes, he is an asshole,
so it's best to avoid him.
Okay, you can't negotiate
with assholes.
Right.
Negotiate.
-We couldn't.
-Obviously.
-I mean, we can't.
-Of course, you're right.
-He's your brother.
-I mean, sure.
[both] And we aren't those
kind of people.
[discordant string music]
[Ronda] Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
[rattles]
Three and a half. Shit.
Three and a half is just not
wide enough for the plasma.
4K Ultra HD.
It's gonna be epic.
Porn's gonna look so good.
Yeah, porn is gonna look
so good.
[tape measure rattles closed]
[hiss of indrawn breath]
[growls]
Yeah!
[pills crunching]
You're a good man,
Jerry Jennings.
A good, good man.
And you are a good, good woman,
Joy Jennings.
A good, good woman.
And I love you.
Love of my life.
[scraping]
[dishes clink]
[Frank sighs]
Uncle Frank.
Hmm.
[wind howls]
You're a reasonable guy.
Am I?
Maybe we can negotiate.
[chuckles]
Negotiate, huh?
And what incentive
are you bringing
to the table, Lady No-Jo?
Take the money.
All of it, just...
spend that five million dollars
on whatever
wank palace you want.
But leave Mom and Dad
the house.
It means everything to them.
It's-- it's a part of them.
It's a part of us.
I-- I can't imagine a future...
without it.
It would kill them
to lose this place.
[sniffs]
That was beautiful.
You convinced me.
[shaky breaths]
You totally convinced me
that you...
are a shit-wipe,
just like your dad.
You think I want this place
because I need it?
[laughs] No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I might burn this fuckhole
to the ground
if the whim strikes me.
I'm not taking it
because I want it.
I'm taking it
because for the last 30 years,
your father has never
missed a chance
to rub his happiness in my face.
And now?
Now it's my turn to be happy.
Is that your final decision?
Yes, indeed-y, Jolene-y.
I know how much this house
means to Jer,
and Joy-less...
and you.
But now,
it's mine.
So, thank you,
because I'm gonna savor this.
I'm gonna savor
watching you beg.
[tense music]
Yum!
[lip smacking noises]
[loud gulping]
Oh my God.
I'm gonna be sick!
[whimpers]
Huh.
[retching, coughing]
[wind howls]
[melancholy string music]
[mysterious music]
[plate rattles]
[Frank sighs heavily]
-[labored breathing]
-[heartbeat thuds]
Uncle Frank?
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Fine, just, uh...
[Frank wheezing, coughs]
Just, uh...
just a little tired
from the trip, that's all.
[Jerry] Hey, Frank.
Frank, come on up here.
We have to sign the paperwork,
and Joy's got it
all ready to go.
Okay, we're--
we're in the bedroom.
Are you sure you're all right?
Oh, for Christ's sakes!
Not everybody's a pansy
cock-sucker like you.
I said I'm fuckin' fine!
Hold this.
Coming!
[slow, dramatic music]
Destiny awaits.
[Frank breathes slow,
labored breaths]
[wheezing]
Knock, knock, jackal fucks!
-[door slams]
-[glass shatters]
-[Frank screaming]
-[crashing thuds]
[grunts of effort]
[splintering crash]
-[Frank groans]
-[Jerry grunts with effort]
-[glass shatters]
-[Joy screams shrilly]
[loud, repeated thuds]
[Joy sobs]
-[Joy screams]
-[body thuds]
[struggling grunts]
Die!
[Jerry and Frank
grunting with effort]
[Jerry] Die!
[fighting grunts]
[Jolene] Dad!
[fighting grunts]
-[crashing thud]
-Ohhhh!
-God! God!
-[Jolene] Dad!
-[Frank groans]
-[Joy gasps]
Joy.
You wouldn't-- you...
[choking grunts]
[screams]
[crashing thuds]
[gasps repeatedly]
Um...
[Frank whimpering]
My body was in shambles
Had fallen to the floor
I'm goin' home
I'm goin' home
[snarling]
[both screaming]
Jesus Jiminy Cricket!
[Jim screaming fearfully]
Forever more
-[squelching]
-[Jim whimpering]
-[Frank groaning]
-[Jim whimpering]
Aah! Aah! Aaah!
[whimpering, sobbing]
[Frank moaning]
[groaning]
-Oh my God!
-[moaning, wheezing]
[snarling]
[labored gasping]
[grunting, snarling]
[fit of coughing]
Ah! Aaaaaaah!
[gasping and moaning]
[labored breathing]
-[snarling]
-[thunderous crash]
[gasping and wheezing]
[muttering unintelligibly]
[wet, gasping breaths]
I-- I'm getting--
[wet sucking breath]
You think-- ah!
Going home
I'm going home
forever more
[splats]
[coughs, splutters]
[gasping coughs]
[gurgles]
[coughing wetly]
[wet, gulping gasp]
[coughs]
[coughs, splutters]
[shaky sigh]
[choking gasp]
[choking splutters]
[Jim sighs shakily]
[Jerry moans softly]
[hysterical sobbing]
[Jolene] Dad.
Hey, are you okay?
[coughing]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just, uh,
it's just that, uh--
it's-- [laughing manically]
[cackling]
I'm sorry.
It's just that we--
[laughing hysterically]
It's just that-- [coughs]
We did it. We did it.
We did it. I mean, I--
I knew-- I knew we could,
but I ju-- I mean,
and we did, we did it.
We really did it.
We-- we really did it.
I mean, I doubted it
for a second.
But we--
[hysterical laughter]
Oh! Oh!
Ohhh-ho-ho!
Oh! Oh, this champagne,
I saved it for our final
farewell to the house.
With-- you know,
Costco had a sale.
-[Jolene] Right.
-And, uh, but now,
but now we don't have to bid
farewell to anything,
anything, other--
I mean, other than...
Other than-- [snickers]
Because-- Because we--
[cackling wildly]
[coughing] We did it!
Ohhhhh!
Oh, jeez, what a mess, here.
Oh, goodness.
Oh, look at all this.
I think there's one--
oh, look, one, two.
I've-- ah! Oh, good.
I think that works.
Hey! Ah!
Look at all that blood.
It's more than
you would have imagined.
I know. I know, I know.
It's murder, murder, eee!
Oooh, yeeesh!
We-- But I gotta be honest.
I gotta be honest, is--
Is what we did bad?
Is what we did bad?
I mean, obviously.
Obviously, it's bad.
But do I feel good right now?
I mean, I do. I got to admit,
I really, really do.
It's like this weight,
this weight had been
on my shoulders for so long,
and now I just feel--
I feel free.
I feel free! I feel free.
I mean, we're-- we're all free.
That is worth--
is worth celebrating.
-Baby! Boom! [laughs]
-[Joy gasps]
I am-- um-- [clears throat]
I uh, I-- I--
-Oh, son.
-[Jim whimpers]
Oh, that stabbing.
I am so proud of you, kiddo.
No! No.
It was self-defense.
-Here you go, honey.
-No!
Oh, come on, just take a break
from your cleanse.
What, no, it's not the cleanse.
It's that I just
poisoned my uncle.
-Poisoned?
-Yeah.
His slice of Banana Breeze.
I-- I crumbled my lorazepam
up into it.
What? Pills are how white ladies
kill themselves in movies.
I was just improvising.
Well, hot dang, Jojo!
Now we have to celebrate.
Way-- Way to hustle.
Team Jennings!
-Dad!
-What? My brother?
Oh, please.
He's been a-- a monster,
an absolute monster
to me my whole life.
And he finally went too far.
He threatened my family.
Here you go, son.
There you go.
There we go. And we--
What we did was banded together.
We banded together.
Pardon me.
Banded together.
And now, now, we get
to keep our home.
Hmm?
Our home.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
-No, I'm not toasting.
-[Jerry] Come on.
One toast isn't gonna kill ya.
[chuckles] Kill ya.
-Kill ya.
-We are murderers, okay?
-We are murderers!
-No, no, no, no.
I-- I was acting
in self-defense.
[scoffs] For fuck's sake, Jim.
-Oh, language, sweetheart.
-[Jolene] Really, Mom?
If anyone killed him,
it was you.
-Um, you poisoned him.
-You stabbed him.
No! No!
I'm a conflict-avoider.
It was the pie.
-The pie killed him.
-Mom's banana breeze is deadly.
[cackles]
I'm on fire!
Well, if it was anyone,
it was your father.
Oh, he got him good.
Oh, do not sell yourself short,
love of my life.
Oh, you did such a number
on him with that lamp.
Oh, and that push.
It doesn't matter, okay?
It doesn't matter!
We are all guilty.
Teamwork makes the dream work!
No, that's not
what I'm saying, Dad.
We're all guilty.
We're gonna be spending
Jennings' family dinners
in jail, if we don't
take care of this.
No one knows he's here... right?
No.
No one's gonna miss him, right?
Your Uncle Frank
was widely disliked
by basically everyone
who met him.
We're the only family he's got.
So?
So, we gotta get rid
of the body.
We get rid of the body,
and all of this is over.
[dramatic string music]
I have some extra large
garbage bags in the basement.
That's a start.
Thank you.
Finally, we're dealing
with the reality.
They're on the top shelf.
After you, milady.
No champagne until I get back.
I am just so proud of you two.
Okay. Okay.
-We need a plan.
-Jail.
You said jail.
I can't go to jail.
No one is going to jail.
I mean, I've watched a lot
of prison porn,
but it's not the same thing.
Just listen to me, okay?
I'm not gonna give birth
in prison,
because if I'm there,
then Grandma's there,
and Pop-Pop's there,
and Guncle Jim.
We're all there.
So, who gets the baby?
This is not happening.
This is not haaaa--
Hey! I'm not gonna let
baby Judson
grow up with a mom in prison.
We just need a plan.
-Did you say Judson?
-Oh, my God!
There's more important things
to worry about right now!
No, I'm just saying,
I'm surprised you're sticking
with the "J" tradition,
that's all.
[Jolene sighs heavily]
Oh, here they are, these
are them, right, sweetheart?
[door rattles]
Uh, what's up?
Darling, it's freaking me out
a little bit, there.
I don't give a hoot
and a holler about the bags.
-It was all a ruse.
-[Jerry] Oh.
Oh! Ah! Oh.
-Oh. Oh.
-[muffled giggles]
[Jerry] Oh, my.
Oh! Oh!
Oh. Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Ah...
[Joy] I feel so alive.
[moans]
Oh, uh...
Yeah, if I'd known murder
was such an aphrodisiac,
I might have taken a little--
a little blue pill.
Oh! I might not need one.
-[bottles clinking]
-I don't need one!
Oh... Oh!
Oh! [glass shatters] Oh!
I haven't even decided
if I'm keeping it yet.
Well, if you do, and we all
go to prison...
-We won't!
-...then the baby's
just gonna go to the next
closest family member.
His dad.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I'm gonna go see
what's taking them so long.
You don't know who it is.
-You don't know who it is!
-Arghhh!
[door slams]
Mom? Dad?
What's taking so long?
[rhythmic creaking]
[gasps]
-Jerry.
-Yeah, that's my name.
-That's my name.
-No, Jerry.
Jerry!
Oh? Oh.
-[retches]
-Holy hell's bells.
Sweetheart!
Well, you think you'd be happy
that, you know,
there's still a spark
after 30 years.
-I mean--
-Sorry you had to see that.
Whoa! Ow!
[Jolene] No, get away!
[Joy] Honestly, I think
you're being a little dramatic.
-What happened?
-Oh, I think I twisted my wrist.
How could you,
at a time like this?
You know, it took me
by surprise, too.
Oh, honey, at our age, it's--
I could pour bleach in my eyes,
and never unsee that.
-Oh, God.
-Sweetheart.
-Please.
-No, stop, I can't--
I can't talk to you right now!
[gasps]
-[all] Oh!
-[Jolene groans]
[Ronda] Britney!
Britney!
Britney!
-Oh!
-Are you okay, Jojo?
-[Jolene] Shit, shit, shit.
-[Joy] Oh! Oh!
-Steady, steady, honey. Steady.
-[Jerry] Oh my, here, let me--
[Joy] Oh, be careful with that.
-Here, get on your knees.
There we go.
-Are you all right? Oh, honey.
-There we go.
[Joy] Honey, watch your step.
Yeah, just sit--
Oh, wait two ticks.
-Okay.
-Wait two ticks.
-[Jolene sobs]
-[Joy] Yeah. Yeah.
It's okay. It's all right.
Yeah, I just don't think
blood...
and upholstery mix.
Oh, that's such a good idea.
Yeah, okay, all right.
-Okay, honey. Okay, okay.
-Okay, here we go, honey.
-Watch your step.
-Three, two, one, plop-o.
Oh! You went down so hard.
Where does it hurt,
your tailbone?
-Do you need some ice, honey?
-Give her some space.
[Joy] Oh, ice is a good idea.
-Coors chaser, and an Advil--
-Oh, we can put you--
I'm not hurt, okay?
I'm pregnant!
And I'm just crying,
because I'm worried about...
[sighs]
The baby.
Of course, your boobs.
[groans]
Oh, my goodness. [laughs]
Oh, my goodness!
Our baby's having a baby!
-[laughing]
-I'm gonna be a Papa!
[Joy] Yes!
Could this night get any better?
Oh, God!
Oh! Come in here, Uncle Jim!
-Oh! [laughs]
-Get in, group hug!
-Ohhhh!
-Get-- get off!
Get off, okay? Stop!
Stop! I haven't decided
if I'm gonna keep it or not yet.
Oh, of course
you're gonna keep it.
No, not of course.
I was a Fertile Myrtle
at your age,
but that doesn't mean--
You're talking about an A-B-O--
Abortion?
Yeah, an abortion, Dad.
Ugh! Okay, this is exactly
why I didn't say anything,
because I knew this is how
you were gonna react.
So I'm not gonna be a Pop-Pop?
Well, how else are we gonna
react to the glorious news
that our beautiful daughter
is with child?
Ew! Don't say "with child."
[knocking on door]
Hey, y'all!
-[knocking]
-Hello?
-[banging on door]
-I know you're in there.
[knocking]
It's me. Ronda.
You left the lights on,
and it's just--
It's Sunday, so that means
Sunday dinner.
Go!
Oh, okay, well,
I'm just gonna sneak out back,
and check your yard.
See if my Britney's back there,
burying bunnies again.
Um, hey, there, Ronda!
Oh, howdy, Joy,
sorry to bother you.
If you'll just wait two ticks,
we're tidying up in here.
Oh, uh, no rush, but...
I know, I know.
[Ronda] It's kind of
an emergency.
-And I don't want to alarm you.
-Where?
The basement. The basement.
[Ronda] I've been walking
the neighborhood...
[Ronda's words muffled,
indistinct]
Because I've been so upset,
and I haven't really been...
Oh! Ow!
Hey, Jer, is that you?
Oh, hey there, Ronda.
Yeah, my hands are a little
tied at the moment.
Oh, I feel ya.
Well, as I was saying,
by golly, Britney ran away.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?
-[Ronda] She's gone! She's gone!
-Lift him. Lift him!
-[Ronda talking, words unclear]
-What?
-[Jerry] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Lift him! Lift him!
Lift him!
God knows which one is mine.
It's like, uh...
Oh, it's like three, and...
[Ronda continues talking,
words muffled]
-Come on, lift.
-[Jerry] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
What?
Come on, baby.
[Jerry] Oh, I didn't know.
I didn't know.
[Ronda] I told you
about the diabetes!
Go, go!
You know, she's--
She's got the diabetes.
Oh my goodness!
Anyway, she's doing
a lot better...
One, two...
Who's the father?
Oof! [whimpers] Oh!
She's got two knee places,
But her top-- no,
her bottom-- no.
Her bottom knee place,
sometimes she gets a little
hurt-y in there.
-[whimpering]
-[Ronda talking, words muffled]
[Ronda] So I'm just gonna go
check out the backyard.
I'm gonna take a real good look,
if you don't mind.
Oh, my God.
Britney's gone?
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah.
I took her for a pee,
and I didn't realize.
Y'all okay in there?
Oh, sure.
-Sure, sure.
-Yeah, I-- I just turned around,
and don't you know,
she was gone.
Oh, dear.
And with this cold snap.
-That's what I was thinking.
-Well, why weren't you?
Truth is,
we haven't seen her, though.
Oh. Are you sure?
I just know how she loves
that Mugo Pine out back.
-I'm gonna take a peek.
-Nope! No, no.
Um, she's not back there.
I just took a look.
Is that a Banana Breeze
I smell?
Nighty-night, Ronda.
[Ronda] Yeah.
-So I-- ah! Ah! Ah!
-[knocking]
If you see Britney, you'll...
you'll call me, right?
Will do.
[door slams]
Britney!
Britney!
Come to mama, sweetie.
Britney!
Love you, good girl.
[sighs] That was close.
Oh, my God.
Are you smiling?
No.
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with you?
Do we even know
who the father is?
Focus on the task at hand!
Oh, Jesus Christ, Jolene.
He's not going anywhere.
-Who is it?
-It doesn't matter, okay?
-It's my decision.
-Well, sure, but who is it?
-Jim's getting a divorce.
-What?
Nope!
[Joy] Is that true, Jim-jamin?
-That's why Pete's been texting.
-I am stabbing you next.
Oh, my poor baby boy.
What happened?
We're not talking about this.
What happened was Pete.
[Jerry and Joy] Shifty Pete.
That's what your father
and I call him.
-I mean, not to his face.
-[Jim] What?
A little help, please.
Roll him up in the carpet.
It'll slide easier.
Oh, good thinking.
[Joy] The first night
we met Pete,
your father said, "You know,
he's a bit shifty."
[Jerry] And the name
just kind of stuck.
[Jim] Why are you
telling me this?
-You loved Pete.
-[Jim] Love.
Fine, love.
So, we loved Pete.
No heavy lifting.
Please help your sister.
Thing is, Jimmy-Jam,
just because we love Pete--
Well, it doesn't mean
we like Pete.
You don't like Pete?
No.
-No, no, no, no. We love Pete.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, we love Pete.
What?
I don't like him or love him.
Oh, my God!
-[Joy] And now a divorce.
-Are you smiling?
What, sweetheart?
No, I'm not smiling.
-Why didn't you tell us?
-Well, I don't know.
I thought maybe you'd freak out,
like you did over
Jolene's divorce.
But look at you,
you can hardly contain yourself.
Well, that was Carl, though.
[Joy] Yeah, Pete's no Carl.
Yeah. Apples to oranges.
Carl's not as great
as everyone thinks he was.
-Yeah, but wasn't he?
-No!
God forbid you listen
to the person
that was actually married
to him.
[Joy] Well, you two have been
so on and off over the years,
honestly, sweetheart.
You have a history of not
knowing what's best for you.
Carl? This was never
what was best for me.
Carl! Carl's the dad.
[gasps] You're getting back
together with Carl?
Wednesday night poker's
back on the table!
-Oh, that would be so--
-No, Carl's not the father,
and even if he was,
I wouldn't tell you.
Well, of course you wouldn't,
because, you know, it turns out
neither of my children
tell me anything.
[Jolene] Yeah, because you
think we're infants,
and you never tell us
anything, either.
Yeah, the money,
the travel agency,
the fact you hate my husband.
Lorazepam? I mean,
why are you taking Lorazepam?
-Anxiety!
-Why do you have anxiety?
[Jim and Jolene]
Why do you think?
[Jerry] You two
leave your mother alone.
-I didn't want you to worry.
-[Jim] I'm worried!
[Joy] And the money? Well,
The money was supposed
to be a surprise.
Yeah, that's right, a surprise.
We just always want
to protect you,
and-- and do what's best
for you.
[Jolene] What's best for us?
You've been lying to us
for God knows how long,
and now we're going to prison.
And not the sexy kind!
[Jerry] You two aren't too old
for my belt!
Well, isn't this just the best
Sunday dinner ever?
Turns out we live
in a house of lies.
A house of lies!
[all shouting at once,
words unclear]
[loud, repeated thuds]
[all gasp]
-[sighs]
-Ooh.
Well, that went better
than expected.
-Good teamwork, team.
-Oh, my God.
Now what?
I have a plan.
[wind howls]
[whimsical macabre music]
[door creaks]
[Jerry sighs]
Why am I the one
doing this, again?
[Jolene] Exactly.
Let me do it.
Oh, absolutely not.
Not in your condition.
[Jolene] Oh, don't say
"condition."
[Jerry] Your brother's
totally capable.
You've got this, Jim-jamin.
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
[Jerry] All right,
attaboy, attaboy.
On the count of three, now.
I don't know, Jer.
[Jerry] No, on the count
of three. On the count of three.
One, two, three.
-Gah! Oh my God.
-[Joy] Oh!
Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
I said start with an arm.
[Jim] I know, I tried, I tried.
I was aiming for the arm.
Oh, this-- this is a nightmare.
This is exactly the trouble
you had with T-Ball.
You have to keep your eyes
on the ball.
No, the problem I had
with T-Ball
is that I never wanted to be
in T-Ball.
There's nothing left
in my stomach.
Oh, it's like the sword
in a stone.
So what's Plan B?
Well, let's give him
a second chance.
-No, Jer, I don't think so.
-No, I mean, obviously,
-he's not up for it.
-[talking all at once]
Dad, he can't.
He just can't hit them...
head-on.
Oh, my God.
Get behind the plastic.
-Watch that tone, young--
-Now!
[groans]
[Jerry] Now, just keep
your eyes open,
on the point of contact, okay?
One, two...
I will go when
I am fucking ready!
-[Joy] Language, Jim.
-[Jolene] No, Mom, not now.
[sighs heavily]
[growls]
[screams]
[meaty thunk]
I did it.
-[laughs]
-I did it!
Well, that, that is one
clean cut.
[Joy] Oh, baby boy,
I'm so proud of you.
[all laugh]
That was actually,
like, not shitty.
-Oh.
-Mm-mm.
Oh, that, yeah.
Right. Yeah.
[Jolene] No, no.
[sobs]
Jesus, Mom.
What? Stop.
-Sweetheart.
-I said stop.
-Oh, Mom.
-[laughs] I'm sorry.
I'm-- I'm sorry, but I'm just--
I'm so proud of you.
[chuckling]
Well, here we are doing this,
but together, as a family.
-It's nice.
-It is.
It's nice.
Oh, you two.
Lay off your mother.
This is what I always wanted
Sunday dinners to be like.
Us. Together.
You two are so grown up.
You're just figuring that out.
Honestly, Jolene, to me,
you've always been my baby girl.
I'm sorry your father
and I lied to you.
I did not give you
enough credit,
but I have to say,
it is kind of a relief
to have it all out in the open.
[chuckling]
And you two have
been very helpful tonight.
Group hug. Group hug.
-No, Dad!
-Come on.
No, come on, you.
Jennings group hug right now.
[groaning]
And you know,
now that we're all
in this together, I feel like...
it's all gonna be okay.
That's right.
It's gonna be okay.
It's all gonna be okay.
[Pete] [knocking] Jim!
I know you're in there, Jim!
I just want to talk!
I swear to God,
if I have to look at
those three little dots
one more time,
I'm gonna fucking
murder someone!
Ooh!
-Pete.
-Shifty Pete.
I fucking love you!
You took my heart!
You ripped it out of my chest!
You ate it, then
you're spitting it on my face!
Go, go, go!
Someone's gonna call the cops.
Open the door, Jim!
This little fucker's gonna
wake up the whole neighborhood.
-Pardon my language, but he is.
-[Jim] I can't.
I cannot face him.
[indistinct], 'cause I'm not
leaving without you, so...
-Why not?
-Get out here, you fuckface!
Because I cheated!
[gasps]
[loud clattering]
And it's my fault
we're getting a divorce.
It's my fault, and I just...
I cannot face him.
[sobbing]
Fine!
Where do you think you're going?
Well, someone's
gotta do something!
Well, look at you!
Oh! [groans] Mother--
I have a plan.
[screaming]
Jim?
Jim!
-Jim!
-[neighbor] Shut up!
You shut up!
You shut up,
you stupid piece of...
Telling me to shut up!
-I don't wanna shut up.
-Hey!
Where is he?
You're gonna piss off
the neighbors.
[Pete] Well, we wouldn't want
that, now would we?
We wouldn't want anybody
to be upset.
He won't give up.
Gimme-- You've had enough.
Stop being so grabby!
What? No, it's not for me.
I'm not drinking right now.
I'm on a cleanse.
Oh, pregnant.
What the fuck?
I'm a pregnancy [indistinct].
[Jolene] Pete, go home!
He's not going anywhere
until he sees you.
Well, you know what?
We can do it.
-Let's-- We can do it.
-He can do it.
You said it yourself.
You underestimated them, Joy.
He's not a child.
You can do it.
You stabbed your uncle.
And chopped off his arm,
and I'm proud of you.
-Where is he?
-No, he's not in here.
I mean, let's face it.
If you can do that,
you can do this.
-Just a little-- little more...
-[Pete] Liar!
-He's here!
-No, he's not! [screaming]
Where is he?
Put me down!
-Where is he?
-Put me down!
-[Jolene screaming]
-[heavy thud]
You might have hurt the baby!
Where is he?
-Give-- give me this.
-No! No!
If he's not here
and he's not answering me,
well, then
maybe he'll answer you.
Call Jim!
[electronic voice] I'm sorry,
I didn't catch that.
-Call fucking Jim!
-[Jim] Pete.
We need to talk.
Yeah. Talk.
That's all I want to do.
Okay, okay. Um...
why don't you and I
find somewhere private
we can quietly
talk this through, yeah?
Okay, yeah, just right in here.
And I will be back
in one minute,
and then we'll hash this out.
-Yeah, yeah, right back.
-No, no, I'll be right back.
-What are you doing?
-[Jim sighs]
Mom said the knob's busted.
The bathroom door locks you in
from the inside.
Okay, yeah,
but now Shifty's in our house.
[Jim] Shifty?
[doorknob rattling]
[Pete] Jim?
-[Jim] I got it covered.
-[Joy] Oh, he's gone.
[Jerry] Attaboy, Jimmy Jim.
Well, he's not gone.
-Um, he's--
-He's locked in the bathroom.
[Pete] Jennings?
Tell me he didn't.
[doorknob rattling]
Oh, he did.
[Pete] Hey!
-I have a plan.
-The plan was to get rid of him!
[shouting]
I'm locked in the bathroom!
What are we gonna do now?
There is an obvious solution.
-We are not killing Pete!
-[Pete knocking]
-[Pete] Jennings?
-Oh, sweetheart,
-I-- I was kidding.
-[Pete] Jennings!
I was kidding.
[Pete] I'm locked in
the bathroom!
I was kidding.
[knocking loudly]
-Jim!
-I said I have a plan,
and I have a fucking plan,
and I swear to God, Mom,
if you tell me to watch
my language, I might explode.
Okay, out of
those bloody clothes,
and we're gonna need
more plastic.
No worries.
Costco had a sale.
[rapid, off-beat
fiddle instrumental]
Help!
Anyone?
[sobbing]
Nobody wants to help Pete.
[Pete gasps]
I am pooping!
No, first--
first you cheat,
then-- then you don't
text me back,
and then you lock me
in this bathroom?
Like, I don't even know
who you are anymore.
I can't trust you.
Please wash your hands.
Okay, yeah.
[Pete] I just--
I just want the truth.
Okay.
The truth is...
I don't want to get a divorce.
I love you, and I am so...
I am so sorry about the...
[groans]
Jim, you think
I'm mad about the...
about the...
-Sex. I'm miming sex.
-Yeah, I got it. I got it.
No, I'm mad you lied.
I'm mad that you didn't
tell me that's what you wanted.
I'm mad--
Jim, when I married you,
I signed on for all of you.
But then I found out
that there was this truth
that you didn't think
that you could share with me.
[Jim sighs]
When it happened, um...
I couldn't face it.
I, uh...
I couldn't face you.
Everybody makes mistakes.
-I can forgive that.
-Oh, my God...
I can't forgive you
for lying to me about it.
That made me feel so...
small.
It makes me feel too irrelevant.
I promise you,
I will never, ever
lie to you ever again.
Okay?
Does your family like me?
No.
No, they don't.
Um, they really...
They really don't.
[Pete chuckling quietly]
The truth is really harsh.
I know it is.
That's why
I usually don't do it.
Why don't they like me?
I don't-- Honestly,
I don't know. I don't know.
I like you. I love you.
-Okay?
-Yeah.
[chuckling] Yeah.
I'm really, really drunk.
Yeah.
[hammering, clattering]
[rapid, off-beat
fiddle instrumental]
Okay.
We are leaving the bathroom.
Oh, my God, yes.
We are leaving that bathroom!
Oh. Oh, my goodness, Pete.
-Didn't even know you...
-Stuff it, Joy.
You don't like me?
None of you?
None of you like me?
You know what?
Jennings, you're not
so fucking likable yourselves.
Not very likable.
[Jim] Time to go.
-We can talk about this later.
-The thing is,
we all have something in common.
We love this man.
We love this man. Love you.
And I'd like to think that
that would mean
-that maybe we...
-[police siren chirping]
[tense string instrumental]
[whispering] It's the po-po.
[knocking loudly]
Officer--
oh, it started snowing.
-Ma'am?
-Yeah?
I had a complaint about
a domestic disturbance, ma'am.
Oh.
Are you an occupant
of this residence, ma'am?
Yes, officer.
There's been complaints of...
public drunkenness,
obscene language,
beeping persons,
excessive noise,
parentheses, yelling, crying,
shrieking, end parentheses,
and what can only be described
as general tomfoolery.
-Were you aware of this, ma'am?
-No, no, officer.
Do I have your consent
to enter your home
so that we might continue
this conversation
in less chilly
conditions, ma'am?
Officer, we were just about
-to sit down here to...
-Ma'am,
if you are currently
under duress
or facing
the threat of violence,
should you
in any way feel unsafe,
and it is for these
aforementioned reasons
that you are reluctant
to invite me into your home,
I will take your blinking twice
as a sign that
you require assistance,
and will take immediate action
to remove you
from said situation, ma'am.
Have I made myself clear, ma'am?
I, uh-- [stammering]
Is that an execution
of said signal, ma'am?
-No. Oh, no! No!
-Ma'am. Ma'am.
Officer, I'm fine.
Totally fine.
Everything's fine.
Well, then,
I look most favorably
to being invited inside
so that we might, A,
escape this cold, and B,
ensure that you
and your loved ones are safe.
Well, officer...
It's the neighborly thing
to do, ma'am.
Right. Right, of course.
Um, Officer...
-Truman.
-Truman.
-Officer Truman.
-Truman.
Well, welcome, Officer Truman.
[Joy] Officer Truman's
coming in the house.
-Evening, folks.
-Evening, officer.
And who do I have
the pleasure of addressing?
Oh, this is my husband, Jerry,
and my daughter, Jolene,
and my son, Jim, and I'm Joy.
Surname? Jennings.
Joy Jennings.
Jerry, Jen, Jolene,
and Joy Jennings?
-Mm-hmm.
-[Jim chuckling]
They have
this whole J obsession.
It's tragic.
I'm Pete!
Yes, of course, Pete.
How could I forget Pete?
-They're gay-married.
-It's just married, Jerry.
Almost divorced.
But if this little
handsome devil shapes up,
then we just might
be able to tough it out.
[whispering] He's hot! Ooh.
[sniffing]
You folks having a party?
Oh, no, just our regular
Sunday family dinner.
Then might
I inquire about the...
[chuckling]
-Oh.
-[chuckling]
I just feel
comfortable with that.
[Jim] Yeah, I get to...
Yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
Sir?
[tense instrumental]
Murder?
Mur-der?
Murder!
Murder!
Wow. You guys had a murder
mystery dinner without me?
-Oh.
-[chuckling]
[door creaking]
Every Jennings family dinner
for the last three years,
I have suggested that we just
shake things up a little bit
and totally try
a murder mystery dinner theme,
and you all look at me
like I've got 12 dicks
growing out of my forehead.
I'm assuming this is the cause
of the disturbance, ma'am.
It's-- it's-- it's fine
if you don't like me,
that's fine.
It's fine that you locked me
in a bathroom.
But this?
Oh, this is too much.
Too much.
I can forgive you
for fucking a bartender,
but having a murder mystery
without me?
I mean, come on.
Sir, please expand on
being locked in the bathroom.
Oh, officer, he wasn't locked in
so much as he was stuck.
He probably blacked out.
I blacked out?
Yep.
Folks, I'm gonna need to take
a look around.
Are there any other persons
on the premises?
[all] No, no, no. No.
You folks doing some renovating?
-[all] Yes, yes, yes.
-[Jim] New walls and things.
-[Pete] You're renovating?
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, thank God.
This ancient wallpaper
is deadly.
What color are you going with?
[all] Red.
And I assume
this is the basement?
Oh, officer!
Uh, where are our manners?
Jim, why don't you give
the kind, friendly officer
a grand tour?
Of course, of course.
The kitchen. We gotta start
the tour in the kitchen.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Ma'am?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
One should always start
a tour upstairs.
Officer,
please join me upstairs.
Holy fuck!
Jesus!
[Jolene gasping]
[Jim] Holy Jesus!
Fuck! Um, um,
you're gonna love upstairs.
[phone buzzing]
Folks, is there
something going on here
that you're not
telling me about?
Hey, Carl!
Why would you answer my phone?
'Cause it's Carl. I love Carl.
I can't talk right now.
Oh, 'cause it's not mine?
Jojo here is preggers,
and I'm gonna be a pop-pop.
-Hi, Carl!
-Hey, Carl!
Howdy, Jennings.
Y'all having
a super Sunday dinner?
Oh, yeah, it's really great.
Hey, Carl,
say hi to Officer Truman.
Hello, officer.
Carl?
Trust me, the baby is yours.
[clears throat] This seems
like a family matter.
Why don't I lead you to it?
-Hey, Carl!
-[Carl] Howdy, Jim.
It's 100% yours.
I didn't want to do this
in front of an audience,
but okie-dokie.
You can't be sure it's mine.
I mean, come on, we're
talking about you here, Jolene.
We were both drunk, and to
be honest...
you were a mistake.
But I'm happy to do
the gentlemanly thing
and go halfers with you
to get rid of it.
And I wouldn't want you all
thinking I'm not a good guy.
Fuck you, Carl.
Mrs. Jennings?
Don't you Mrs. Jennings her.
My daughter is no one's mistake.
She and only she
knows what's best for her,
so you can fuck off!
[call ends]
Thanks, Mom.
That?
That is not a good guy.
And to think, you liked to him
more than you like Pete here.
Oh, no, puppy.
You must be frozen.
[all] Pete! Pete!
Officer, officer, see,
this happens all the time.
The neighbor's dog,
Britney, getting loose.
They got it.
The poor dog was [indistinct].
That chew toy?
Super realistic.
Ma'am, step aside.
-[barking]
-This way?
Banana Breeze is
my goddamn favorite.
-This way.
-[Britney barking]
[barking]
Folks, I'm getting
the feeling that tonight...
something fishy is going on.
Fishy? Hmm...
Fishy? No.
[Jolene] Fishy?
-Fishy?
I don't know what you could
possibly mean, officer.
-[barking]
-Something ain't right.
Hey, my pie!
My shenanigans alarm is
buzzing at a code red, folks.
No shenanigans here, officer.
Just a regular old
Jennings Sunday dinner.
No, something ain't right.
And I'm not leaving here
until I get to the bottom of it.
Wait, where'd the dog go?
Oh, no, she escaped
out the front door.
She must have got out
when you left the door open.
I did not move the door--
-Are you sure you didn't?
-You absolutely moved--
Now, that's it.
Somebody better start giving
me some honest answers
right now
or I'm calling for backup.
-This is Truman--
-Wait, officer.
-[dispatch] ...go ahead.
-I'm gonna need
-some backup over here.
-I confess.
-Joy?
-Mom?
Mom.
-10-12, copy.
-[Jerry] Sweetheart?
I confess.
I confess that tonight's
been fucking awful.
-Ma'am, language.
-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
But we have been lying
to our kids...
for a long, long time.
That's right.
We've been having
some financial...
-hiccups.
-Bumps.
And our finances took
a, uh, serious... tumble.
And the reality of
suddenly losing our home
really knocked us over the head.
And if we hadn't lied
to our kids,
none of this
would have happened.
See, officer,
we had this huge fight,
and-- and I--
I poisoned the night
because I was keeping
this big secret to myself.
And the final twist of
the knife is I was lying, too.
I, uh, cheated on my husband.
And not only
was I lying to him...
Giant asshole.
I was lying to all of them, too.
So if-- if you were
getting the sense, officer,
that something fishy
was going on, it--
it's just because, well,
tonight's been, um...
well...
tonight's been murder.
[exhaling]
[dispatch] Still need that
backup, Truman? Copy.
That's an affirmative on that.
Girl! Enough
with the backup, 'kay?
Like, just--
just get out of here already.
The only thing that's going on
here tonight is family.
Fa-mi-ly.
I mean, you love 'em,
but some nights
you just wanna kill them.
[all chuckling]
-[radio beeping]
-Cancel that backup.
That is a negativo
on backup. Over.
[chuckling] I can relate.
Okay? Family, right?
It's just like...
[mimicking arguing]
[all chuckling
You know, you just...
[choking]
You know? [chuckling]
You know.
[dispatch]
Well, if you're done with
the 4-25 on Pine Crescent Way,
We have a lady 'round there,
Rhonda, won't stop calling.
Afraid she's in a panic
about her dog, Britney.
Well, ain't that
a dang coincidence?
I think I got
a 10-20 on said dog.
Well, duty calls.
I'll leave you to sort out
whatever family drama
you got going on.
-Good night, Jennings.
-[Jerry] Good night.
Wait.
[tense instrumental]
That still doesn't explain why
you're all wearing
Halloween costumes.
Oh, oh, oh, oopsie-daisies.
[sighing]
You're very, very handsome.
I-- I probably
shouldn't drive home.
Do you want to be my D.D.?
Drop me off at home
after we get that dog?
I would totally blow over.
That's fine.
Good night, Jennings.
Pete, you're with me.
Officer in hot pursuit.
Good night, Jennings-es.
[relieved chuckling and sighing]
Listen up, you fuckers.
I don't know
what's going on with the dog
and the plastic
and all you nervous Nellies,
but you better never forget
that it was Pete,
Pete that got rid of
the pigs for you.
You owe me, Jennings.
So next time I say we're having
a goddamn murder mystery,
we're having
a goddamn murder mystery.
-Shifty Pete.
-Shifty Pete.
See? He's actually
a really good guy.
Oh, my God.
Can we lock the door?
Now what?
I have a plan.
[rhythmic drumming]
Ooh-ooh
You got this.
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
You're six feet
under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But I think I'm cracking
from,
cracking from
Six feet under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But my bones are cracking
from missing you
Taking out the trash
Wasn't trying
to tell you to leave
What's a good backbone if you
don't have the nerve to grieve
You could tell a good story
You could make
the blind believe
But right now
I wish I had some of
Your tests up my sleeve
You're six feet
under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But I think I'm cracking
from,
cracking from
Six feet under my skin
Ghosts from
the past are spinning
I'm not trying to go digging
But my bones are cracking
from missing you
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh
Six feet
[shower running]
[inhaling deeply]
[exhaling]
Mother's Day, '96.
A homemade masterpiece
from my beautiful baby girl.
Mom.
What? I just dug around
in my closet
and found some old stuff
I thought might fit you.
-I can see what you're doing.
-I--
I know, I know.
Eh. You had me model it up
and down the hallway.
[chuckling]
I'm not really sure if, um...
I know.
I know, Jojo.
You know, what I said
to Carl is the truth.
It's your decision to make.
And whatever you choose...
it's gonna be
what's best for you.
'Cause, even though
you'll always be my baby...
you're not a child.
You're a grown-ass woman.
[chuckling] Ew.
Please don't say grown-ass.
Well, you are my baby.
And you're a grown-ass woman.
I'm terrified.
I-- I don't know
if I can do it alone.
Jolene, you will never be alone.
I'd kill 10,000
Uncle Franks for you.
[chuckling] Watch out,
give me the--
-[fire thumping]
-Whoa! That's awesome.
That's awesome.
[Jim] Oh...
Okay, here we go.
Good man, good man,
good man. Cheers.
You may have surprised
your mother tonight, but not me.
You're the bravest man I know.
Dad...
I'm serious. I'm serious.
I just, you know,
I'm always surprised
at how much you doubt yourself.
Coming out in a place
like this at your age,
I'm in awe of how
much courage that took.
I mean, marriage--
marriage, man...
it ain't easy.
I mean, you look at
your mother and I, you think...
you think after
30-odd years under our belt,
we haven't had our share of,
you know...
Really?
Well, sure.
Sure. Me and your mom before
you and your sister, that is.
You know, we'd go to
these parties, and...
we'd throw our keys in
a bowl and--
Oh, my God, Dad, no, no, no, no.
Not every truth has
to come out tonight, okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, your loss.
Your loss.
Just saying that marriage,
you know,
in order for marriage to work,
you have to be brave enough
to not hide from each other.
Oh.
And you're...
you're braver than you think.
[sentimental instrumental]
[both chuckling]
[sighing]
Ah, here we go.
[Jolene chuckling]
Dad, I told you that I'm...
It's-- Christ's sakes,
it's root beer.
Oh. Well, good.
That's more appropriate
pop-pop behavior.
Oh
Number one mom.
[chuckling] Stop.
Come in here.
Jennings group hug.
Jennings group hug.
...In Gloryland
[tearfully] I love you guys.
...Who left because of pain
Thank God up there
They'll die no more
They'll suffer not again
Then weep not, friends
I'm going home
Up there we'll die no more
No coffins will
Be made up there
No graves on
that bright shore
From now on, Sunday dinners
come with leftovers.
Every week you burn them
in a new place.
Until they're all gone.
Until they're all gone.
Until they're all gone.
Until they're all gone.
[quirky, upbeat instrumental]
Okay, who's hungry?
-Me!
-I'll get some orange juice.
There's nothing left in my body.
Yes, I know.
[chattering indistinctly]
Say, I've thinking to myself
There's no sight
I'd rather see
It's the love you set in me
And hey,
at the end of every day
You could tell me everything
Even twisted it's okay
It might be
ground level love
But I won't change my mind
Christina. Christina!
No, Christina.
Christina.
No, no, Christina.
Leave Brittany alone.
Thank you. Thank you.
You're not just enough
-[Britney retching]
-Aw...
Still got an upset tum-tum.
Poor girl.
It's a trickle in my blood
I don't think I'll ever find
Oh, what's that?
I don't think
I'll ever find
Is-- is that a thumb?
Brittany, is that a thumb?
Brittany, is that a thumb?!
So take me away
I'll be your balcony sunset
Refuel the words
that we once said
You can tell me, we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother, wait
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct lyrics]
You can tell me, we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother
Mother, father,
sister, brother
See this clay
We can make it anything
Build a new life every day
You can make a mess with me
Throw our worries in the bay
I don't want you
losing sleep
Won't you snuggle next to me
I need you,
what else can I say
So take me away
I'll be your balcony sunset
Refuel the words that
we once said
You can tell me,
we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother, wait
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct lyrics]
You can tell me,
we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother
Mother, father,
sister, brother
Mother, father,
sister, brother
We got time,
but we recover
Mother, father,
sister, brother
There'll be no sun
In Gloryland
The moon and stars
won't shine
For Christ himself
Is light up there
He reigns on love divine
Then weep not, friends
I'm going home
Up there we'll die no more
No coffins will
Be made up there
No graves on
that bright shore