My Muslim Husband (2023) Movie Script
1
Hi, Mum!
How are you?
Yes, I just woke up. Last night I went
to see a movie with Daniel.
Yes, the guy who converted to Islam.
I don't know.
It's definitely serious to him.
I mean, last night...
He asked me to marry him!
In God's name, do you take Daniel
as your husband before God?
I do.
In God's name, do you take Alexandra
as your wife before God?
In God's name, I take Alexandra
as my wife before God.
and not those who run astray!
God, bless them
with health and happiness,
and by Your will may they
enter Paradise together!
Amen!
Much happiness and 10-12 children.
It's done, now they're married!
Do we give her away?
Brother, she fasted every single day!
- For what?
- For Ramadan!
- You fasted in vain.
- Thought so.
It doesn't count.
If you don't become a Muslim,
your fasting doesn't count.
What God wants, really,
is for you to say the words
"There is no God but Allah and
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah"!
- Otherwise...
- Nothing counts, right?
You are lost.
Hell will eat you alive!
I never heard someone speak Arabic.
When I heard you reciting
the Qur'an and saw you praying,
I didn't understand what was going on.
Your eyes were closed, then open,
you bowed to the floor.
I thought
"I never saw that in my life!"
I had never seen a Muslim praying,
I didn't know how it's done.
Did you ever think
I could have more wives?
That was a tough one.
My muslim husband
Allahu akbar!
Allah hears whoever praises Him.
Look, Daniel is spying on us!
I would like to
better understand the purpose
for which the hijab was introduced
and whether it still serves
the same purpose today.
In short, why a Muslim woman
should wear the hijab.
Basically,
covering the head is mandatory.
However,
the way this is put to practice
differs from one situation to another,
from one context to another.
In Europe, let's say,
the hijab may look different
from the ones in Muslim countries.
There may be small differences.
That's acceptable.
There are situations where
you can't wear a hijab at work.
You put this on your forehead.
That's ok.
And now you pull it up.
And you pin it closed here.
- Like this?
- Yes.
I feel so strange already!
You want to try this one?
You look so beautiful.
The hijab isn't just about
covering your head,
You must also have
a decent outfit, not too tight,
You must be modest from head to toe.
The same is required of men.
It's so pretty, just like blonde hair.
Such a pretty little scarf.
Look how pretty.
I feel like a saint.
I feel like I'm not allowed
to do anything wrong now.
No, only good things.
You just can't!
You can be very cheerful
and pretty with a hijab.
My, aren't you a pretty one.
They say you can't get married
if you can't cooksarmale.
- Have you cooked sarmale before?
- Yes.
- Really, you have?
- Yes.
When?
One time, when I was little.
Love, these are the first sarmale
you've cooked for me.
You'll love them.
I'm so proud of you!
Can't have Christmas
withoutsarmale!
If you like them,
I can make them more often.
I don't celebrate Christmas,
so any occasion is as good as the next.
You're saying I can cook them anytime.
- I should remember this.
- What?
No chance I'll forget this,
I've been at it all day.
I still sometimes think that
this whole Islam thing,
and how a Muslim
is supposed to behave...
I don't know if I...
I hope I can adapt
to everything it involves.
This is very new to me,
I don't know if I will like all of it.
My biggest fear
is about how we'll manage to...
to maintain a good relationship
with my parents.
Why would you have any doubts?
Past behaviour.
Meaning?
Meaning that it happened before.
Not meeting their expectations.
- Stop thinking about that!
- Oh well.
This time it will be different!
- In sha'Allah.
- Stop thinking about it.
I didn't put on any make-up,
just a little concealer around the eyes.
- That's all.
- It's still noticeable.
What, the make-up or
the lack of bags under my eyes?
Just a little.
What do you see?
You are very beautiful.
- Which part?
- All of you.
Right or left?
It makes no sense, why do
people in Mecca fast 12 hours a day,
but if you're in Europe,
in the Nordic countries,
you fast for 18-19 hours a day?
- Why can't we do the same?
- Six hours is a big difference.
Then we should fast
the way they do in Mecca.
I don't want to do it wrong,
but I also don't want to be in this state
where I'm like a vegetable.
So what's best, doing the full fast
and feeling like a vegetable,
or fasting for less time,
but still being able to be productive?
It depends on the sun,
I can't just make my own religion.
After a good night's sleep,
you wake up with fresh thoughts,
and the brain...
The brain is...
How to put it?
You still think you can have
a good relationship with them?
Isn't it very sad,
not getting along with your own parents?
No! You can't have that
if you live in their house.
Why can't you see that?
This is normal,
didn't you read the Qur'an?
It says you have to be
independent from your parents!
Does it say you should
live with your parents until 40?
- No.
- See?
Daniel, I told you time and again
if we live here, there will be trouble.
I begged you to find
a new place, to move.
We knew it would come to this.
What made you think
it would turn out different?
See it as a way of
protecting your parents.
Since they won't be happy
with any partner of yours,
you can't possibly
share a house with them.
They didn't like it
when you were single either.
Their problem is with you, not me.
Yes, that's true.
I've never offended or disobeyed them.
I've always respected them,
given them space.
I never fought with them.
I tried to be beyond any reproach.
I tried to be unbiased towards them,
I swallowed my pride for them.
You fight with them
and they give me shit.
When you go one way
and you hit a wall,
and it happens again, and again, and
again, shouldn't you change direction?
Doesn't it mean that road is closed?
Alright, we move out as soon as we can.
And, yes, I knew all these things.
I was naive.
Please, calm down.
I love you.
Make sure the chickens don't get out
and do exactly as I did!
- Alright.
- Dig out the horseradish.
Don't pack so many eggs for me.
- I have plenty.
- Keep some for yourself!
The chickens will start moulting soon.
- So keep some.
- They're not moulting yet.
They've been laying a lot.
- I thought you'd be pregnant by now.
- God willing!
We don't need to hurry.
Grandma,
why should we have children?
So she has heirs.
Don't say that!
You!
No, he's just asking.
- What for?
- Why, you...
- Wretched the childless!
- Why?
They leave nothing behind!
Some leave knowledge.
- Like how?
- In a book, maybe.
Don't say that, Daniel!
Do you even know
how much you'll love your child?
- I'd be so happy if you had one or two.
- I could write a book instead.
The childless are wretched!
- Others have 3 or 4 of them.
- So? It's not mandatory.
- You don't want children?
- Not right now.
- You neither?
- I do.
- No, I do.
- Do you?
Yes, two at least.
- At least!
- Two?
One girl, one boy.
- I want to see them before I die!
- You will.
But you set conditions for me.
You only want a child if I guarantee
I'll stay home and not travel.
Didn't you want the same thing?
You keep saying this,
but with conditions.
Conditions we both agree on!
- You said you wanted the same thing!
- And I do!
But I can't swear
I'll never travel anywhere again.
No one said you should.
It was about having a job here,
not having to travel all the time.
How long do you think
it's OK to be away?
- It depends on...
- On the project?
Do you find this normal?
Being away 8 times a year?
Two weeks each time?
If you think that's OK,
let's have a child.
This isn't about me setting conditions,
it's about you
spending time with your child.
So I'm setting conditions?
Because I want my family close?
Well, excuse me!
You tell me how you see it.
I converted in Romania,
but I truly understood Islam after I left.
I see.
There, I saw families
that were so close, so tight-knit.
They had many children, too.
It's lovely to see a family of 20
around the table during Ramadan.
I was thinking,
I don't celebrate Christmas and Easter,
which to them were essential,
those holiday times
during which families come together.
They felt it too,
and I felt a stranger in my own country.
It was one of the effects
of my conversion.
It put a barrier,
a chasm between us.
I'm sure they feel like
they've lost me since then.
I think, for them,
that's when this separation started.
And now it got this serious.
How's your health?
Good, and how is the family?
We are all good,
and we miss you!
We plan to visit you
this winter, but God knows.
We will speak again, with God's will!
Again?
I wanted to tell you something.
I'm going to the warm countries!
No, Mum, not forever!
Daniel wants to show me Jordan
and various places out there.
The people here are kind,
I've had many nice experiences
in Jordan.
Before the wars around here,
Jordan was very different.
When I first came here,
the war in Syria hadn't begun.
It was much better.
Everything was cheaper,
people were much kinder,
more generous.
How far to Syria?
100 kilometres.
- They never get bombed by accident?
- They do.
I'm glad we're here,
I'm always happy when I come to Jordan.
- I hope the war never gets here.
- Good luck hoping.
- I don't want to imagine it.
- Hoping won't help.
Why not consider it,
since it could happen?
You can't know it will.
Still, you can't think
"Oh, war will never come here."
"Even though it's raging
just a stone's throw from here."
O Prophet, peace be upon you,
O Messenger, peace be upon you,
O Beloved, peace be upon you,
May Allah's blessing be upon you.
Our Lord! send amongst them
a Messenger of their own
who shall rehearse Thy Signs to them
and instruct them
in Scripture and Wisdom...
- And purify them.
- And purify them.
For Thou art
the Exalted in Might, the Wise.
So, love.
Welcome to Jordan.
You can leave the camera there.
Where it totally doesn't smell of gas.
And it's not cold.
Totally not dirty either, yay!
Let's party!
- Are you cold?
- No, just my legs.
Why don't you put on an extra layer?
- Can't manage with your scarf?
- I always pull it too tight.
Theirs look loose,
I don't know how they do it.
You'll learn, love.
See, they only wrap one end around!
All of them.
How do you feel wearing the scarf here?
Normal.
Here, I'd feel odd
if I wasn't wearing one.
So the place gives you motivation?
A lot.
Here, if you see someone
without a scarf, you do a double-take.
"Why isn't she wearing one?"
He told me to try cow's tongue.
"Coffee" isqahuwa.
- Qahuwati, "your coffee", for women.
- Andqahuwatuke for men.
not of those who have earned
Your anger or of those who are astray.
Amen.
Remember, O Prophet,
when your Lord said to the angels,
"I am going to create a human being
"from sounding clay moulded
from black mud."
I believe that
each woman deserves a man.
Why does she deserve a man?
Is he a piece of cake?
To cut it?
No, he's a man.
He can give her...
He can give another one the same.
The Prophet had 13 women!
- Not at the same time.
- Yeah, the same time!
Yes, Prophet Muhammad
had 13 wives
and he treated all good,
and he loved them all together.
He can do that.
The man, God created him
to love four women.
Yes, yes, God created him like that.
Every woman must believe that
and not discuss
anything more about this matter.
Do you believe
you can love four women?
Yeah!
I told you!
But why is it like this?
Why do all men...
No, who told you all men? No.
Our fathers, our uncles,
they didn't love anyone else.
Except our mothers.
They didn't. Why?
Because our mothers were
very gentle, very good, very nice
for the husband.
Maybe she didn't know how, or...
She didn't know
how to treat him like this.
They were not created
to love four women?
No, no.
You can't love four men, can you?
It's hard to love one!
It's good to love one!
I like it when it's louder.
This is one of the things
I missed the most.
Hearing the Adhan?
Yes.
May the peace and mercy
of Allah be with you.
May the peace and mercy
of Allah be with you.
I seek forgiveness from Allah.
I don't get it.
Why do you feel ugly?
The very purpose of the hijab
is to cover your beauty,
so you don't draw the attention
of other men, that's the idea.
That's not true,
you don't have to feel ugly.
Love, you wear the hijab
to hide from the gaze of men.
Right.
- Does that make sense?
- Of ocurse.
I don't think you're ugly
with a scarf over your head.
Then it's all good.
I can't find you ugly.
How are you feeling?
Wonderful!
What am I supposed to say?
If you don't want to have children
in Jordan, why not move away?
Isn't that what we're trying to do?
You said you like it here.
For now, I like it here.
Do we have a choice?
We can go anywhere we want.
You tell me,
what are our choices now?
Rather than getting
cold sores from head to toe,
I'd rather go home and have my peace.
Don't tell me you want to stay.
I didn't say that, I just
don't want to go back home!
- We'll have to go back.
- Only to visit.
- No, not to visit.
- Why, then?
Many reasons.
For one, I miss my family.
Also my contracts.
We have to go back soon.
You think I'm happy
in this dingy apartment?
But it's all we have now.
We should be glad
we have each other.
- I'm glad for that.
- Me too. Come here.
You don't want?
You finished with this? Not yet?
Not yet, but you can take it.
You can take it,
I can cut it in my hand.
No problem.
Usually people who decide to do
home schooling do it themselves.
All this travel
from one place to another...
Being in Romania, at the beginning,
this was 10 years ago.
In 2009.
I converted there,
I was fasting the first Ramadan.
Well, half of it there.
And after the second Ramadan,
I was very...
confused in Romania.
Why?
Because all my friends
told me that I was crazy.
My family also was
totally against this idea.
They were scared somebody would
wash my brain and I would...
become a terrorist.
That is the idea about Islam in Romania
So I said, OK.
I like the Qur'an very much
and I want to learn more.
So I came to Jordan.
Here I heard all the different kinds of...
of ideologies, oftariqa.
I was starting from Salafi, Sufism...
All opportunities which I had
to go and learn something about Islam,
I was there.
You don't have to judge,
tell anybody "you will go to Hell
because you are not like me."
Who are...
Who are we to judge anyone?
Of course.
Film them, not me!
I'm filming them too.
- I'm glad we came.
- Isn't it awesome?
- Who would have thought?
- I never imagined a place like this.
This place exceeded my expectations.
In so many ways.
Stop asking me why
I'm wearing the hijab, I have no idea.
How are you feeling in it?
Ugly.
- Then why wear it?
- No idea.
Sometimes I feel pretty,
sometimes ugly.
But that's not why I wear it.
Doesn't beauty come from inside?
Yes, but I still don't know
why I'm wearing the hijab.
Maybe I'm trying to be more
respectful to people in these countries.
Allahu akbar!
It woke me up,
I had a nightmare because of it!
- I like it very much.
- It's not normal!
Maybe other people don't want
to hear the town booming with it at noon.
I don't find that normal.
You're supposed to know when to pray
without that song shaking the walls.
I find the atmosphere helps.
Others do, too.
Sure, it helps them a lot,
with all these wars around!
This faith has helped them so much!
How does it help this nation,
this country?
Half the globe is at war.
I change every day.
Everyone changes every day.
I change every day too.
It's normal.
Change is part of our evolution.
How many kilos are we allowed?
Eight.
It's been forever, you strangers!
You forgot your poor old mum and dad.
I was forced to go to church.
Who forced you? God?
People kept sending me to church,
but I'm not religious.
Then you still have some work to do, son.
- This chapter isn't finished.
- I only believe in God, not in priests.
Who believes in priests?
See how it comes to conflicts?
How?
Because each person
fights for their point of view.
Talking religion gets you nowhere.
People stick to their point of view
and they defend it to the bitter end.
Everyone sticks to their own.
So it's best not to mention religion.
Not true!
With my friends,
I could talk religion until morning.
We'd ask
"Why is God so and so?" until dawn.
We never reached a consensus.
- This subject is...
- Taboo!
It's to live and die for,
we're born with it.
You can't avoid it,
God help you if you do.
"God help you" is about faith too.
God help you if don't believe!
I just said I believe.
You just can't get it right!
Did I say I wanted water in my wine?
- What's this?
- Red wine and water.
And what did I say?
- Red wine and water.
- I said white, no water.
You brought me the exact opposite!
To us, One means One. God can't be
both in Earth and in Heaven,
both spirit and flesh.
Yes, God is God and the
Son of God is the Son of God.
I respect you and
I don't want to start a polemic.
Through your culture and education
you can try to convince me.
It's not that you're against me,
you can just try to explain,
bring arguments to show
what I'm saying is wrong.
Actually, what Orthodox Christianity says.
Not me personally.
I understand, but after being
a Christian for so many years,
being educated as one...
You mean an
Eastern Orthodox Christian.
To me, Christianity is all the same.
Orthodox, Catholic, Baptist, Pentecostal.
Any religion believing in Jesus
and celebrating Christmas and Easter
is Christian.
So do they pray
morning, noon, and evening?
Five times, they're compulsory.
Don't they have jobs?
The Qur'an says work is important
and you shouldn't be lazy.
You keep it balanced.
Work with 10-minute prayer breaks.
Then it's back to work.
They don't pray all day long.
They need to support their families too.
I see.
Serves you right.
Told you not to go outside.
You did it to yourself.
Happy holidays!
Thank you.
Alif Lam Mim.
This Book, there is
no doubt in it, is a guide
to those who guard against evil.
Those who believe in the unseen...
It's so big.
Got your desk?
Now I can get down to work!
- Get cracking!
- Alhamdulillah.
- After a well-earned break.
- Want coffee?
Show it to the camera.
Are you alright?
This can hold me, I don't know about you.
I used to jump down as a kid.
You're not a kid anymore.
Pass the camera.
Just go on.
There.
Do we carry these over?
- To the stable?
- Yes, put it down there.
I'll just go out.
She doesn't like her.
She says you should leave her
and find a nice girl.
She has a friend with
a 24-year-old daughter for you.
She thinks Alexandra is lazy.
That's not true. Grandma.
She did the same
with my previous marriage.
It's always the same.
Know what I mean?
- She heard she's a Gypsy.
- That's not true!
That's what she says!
She also says...
You know what?
I'm done talking.
In the name of God
the Merciful, the Compassionate.
The Entirely Merciful,
the Especially Merciful,
Sovereign of the Day of Recompense.
I told you we can't be happy
until your parents accept us!
I told you a thousand times!
So what do you suggest?
You're abandoning us, Daniel!
I hope you're proud of yourself!
Tell her the truth:
I don't want to see her again!
Leave her!
What?
Leave her! Divorce her.
That girl is sick!
Send her back to her Gypsy mother.
She's not fit for you.
And how do you know she's a Gypsy?
She is!
- Why do...
- Everyone knows!
All of Cluj knows she's a Gypsy.
She's a sick Gypsy
who can't have children!
Send her back to her Gypsies!
Mark my words,
if you don't divorce her,
you're not inheriting a dime!
Fine, they can keep their fortune.
I want Romanian grandchildren,
not Gypsies.
She'll put everything in her name
and you'll be left with nothing.
Divorce her, do you hear me?
Very nice, what can I say.
How very interesting.
Can you hear me?
Hello?
You're upset,
I'm upset that you're upset,
and our life is a constant struggle.
I'm not happy, you're not happy,
your family is not happy.
We live in constant misery.
I don't know how long I can keep it up.
But you still think
we're the ones at fault.
If you believe that,
you should know what the fault is!
Tell me what I'm doing wrong
so I can fix it!
If there's something wrong,
let's fix it!
You can't say "we're all guilty"
and wait for things to work out!
If you still think we're all at fault,
let's see what we should do!
Come again?
I just think problems are
solved with calm and patience.
- Like what?
- Everything.
What does that have to do
with our discussion?
Well, if we're to...
Let's just think a little.
What's the difference
between being at fault
and not being at fault?
None.
Goodnight.
- Answer me.
- I said all I had to say.
- Love...
- I'm done.
Well, maybe...
I don't know, Alexandra.
I can't keep doing this, it's pointless.
Alex!
How are you?
Are you coming down?
"We don't go to bed angry!"
Were you aware I was upset?
What did you do?
You tried to reach out, but couldn't?
You "tried"?
Freaking amazing!
I was a bit miffed that you got angry.
- You're the one who's miffed?
- What's the point of this?
What do you mean,
what's the point?
We have to solve the issue
once and for all!
What's the point of these arguments?
The point is for you to understand!
So we're not back to the same shit
day after day, forever!
Is it so hard to love a woman?
When all she asks for is some comfort?
At least a kiss,
it's all she asks!
If you've made her upset,
at least go hug her!
How many times
do I have to explain?
How proud can you be,
letting me lie there like a rag?
After what happened the other day!
You're too proud to do anything!
And then you blame it all on me!
Why do we have to go through this?
I gather you're leaving for a long time,
since you're taking all your teas.
You really had to empty out
the fridge and pantry?
Don't worry, I've left you enough.
So you're not coming back
anytime soon?
- That garbage won't take itself out.
- Say what?
- What were you saying?
- You didn't even take out the garbage.
I will, don't worry,
I'm sure I'm capable.
I've done a lot today,
in case you haven't noticed.
- Now you can do whatever you want.
- I could do that before too.
I'll have time
to take out the garbage too.
- What now?
- It's my home too.
- If it's yours, live in it!
- I can come and go whenever I want.
- Really?
- Yes.
What am I supposed to understand?
Where are you going?
- I'm still considering.
- Considering?
Why do you ask,
you won't let me in next time?
I might just not.
I'll come with someone
to pick up my stuff.
I won't stop you, don't worry.
Even if we break up,
I don't want us to sink so low.
I sure hope so.
So are we breaking up, Alexandra?
It's a risky bet, attempting this.
Saying "we'll cut all ties with them"
would endanger your relationship
and make you feel guilty
for abandoning your parents.
- That's what Alexandra wants.
- No!
I just want to hear that you love me!
I've never heard you tell her
"Mum, I love my wife."
Not once have I heard you say that!
A difficult situation.
Daniel, you have my sympathy.
You're between a rock and a hard place.
Whatever you do, someone suffers.
I'm just tired of it.
On Sunday, when I saw Alexandra
being so hurt, blowing up in anger,
when I saw how much this bothers her...
I don't know how to make it right.
Daniel, you are free.
You are not in prison anymore.
You are no longer a prisoner.
You are a free man.
The price of freedom is responsibility.
Being free, we are responsible
for all we do with our freedom.
Parental love can get in the way
of your freedom regarding relationships.
There, you need to draw a line:
I am a grown-up.
It will be hard for her to accept.
You will always be her baby,
her one-year old, her toddler.
It's how a mother thinks.
You need to show her:
"I am man now,"
"I am in a relationship
with someone I love."
"Please, for my sake,
respect this person."
You know what I mean?
Please decide
what's best for my wife and me
and if this marriage is good for us.
If You believe we can
have a happy marriage
bless it in Your name.
To be an example among people.
Our Lord, give us joy
in our spouses and children.
Make us good examples
to those who are aware of You.
If it is possible,
please smoothen
the path of our marriage.
Help us get over our difficulties
and find a way
of communication and understanding.
If not...
Give us both what is better for us.
Please make this separation easy.
And help us continue our lives.
Amen.
There is no God but Allah,
with no partner or associate.
To Him belongs
Sovereignty and Praise.
He gives life and causes death.
Here I am at your service,
O God, here I am.
To You alone is all praise
and all excellence,
and to You is all sovereignty.
There is no partner to You.
Here I am at your service,
O God, here I am.
You have no other partners.
Allahu akbar!
I bear witness
that there is no god but Allah.
I'm so happy to hear it, love!
Alhamdulillah!
I feel we've learned something from this.
How do you feel?
We'll meet in a few days, in sha'Allah.
I miss you so much!
I would really like for us to
see these places together, too.
I really would.
Alright. Love...
Have a nice day, then.
Take care.
I'm so glad I got to
start my day with you.
Yeah.
So, alhamdulillah.
We'll talk more when I get back.
But I'm very happy for all
that happened and is happening.
May Allah arrange
our lives as He knows best.
I love you!
I love you so much!
I'm going to pray a lot for us,
and for everybody else!
Hey, love!
I want you, not the camera!
I missed you!
I missed you so much.
It's like you've been gone a lifetime!
That looks great on you.
You like it?
Yes!
I'm so glad.
- You are beautiful.
- Thanks.
Let's take a selfie,
since you brought the camera.
- You are my family now.
- Really?
- Yes.
- I'm so glad.
Beyond that, we'll see
about the rest of the family.
- I love you.
- Me too.
- Selfie!
- Wait, my hat!
Hi, Mum!
How are you?
Yes, I just woke up. Last night I went
to see a movie with Daniel.
Yes, the guy who converted to Islam.
I don't know.
It's definitely serious to him.
I mean, last night...
He asked me to marry him!
In God's name, do you take Daniel
as your husband before God?
I do.
In God's name, do you take Alexandra
as your wife before God?
In God's name, I take Alexandra
as my wife before God.
and not those who run astray!
God, bless them
with health and happiness,
and by Your will may they
enter Paradise together!
Amen!
Much happiness and 10-12 children.
It's done, now they're married!
Do we give her away?
Brother, she fasted every single day!
- For what?
- For Ramadan!
- You fasted in vain.
- Thought so.
It doesn't count.
If you don't become a Muslim,
your fasting doesn't count.
What God wants, really,
is for you to say the words
"There is no God but Allah and
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah"!
- Otherwise...
- Nothing counts, right?
You are lost.
Hell will eat you alive!
I never heard someone speak Arabic.
When I heard you reciting
the Qur'an and saw you praying,
I didn't understand what was going on.
Your eyes were closed, then open,
you bowed to the floor.
I thought
"I never saw that in my life!"
I had never seen a Muslim praying,
I didn't know how it's done.
Did you ever think
I could have more wives?
That was a tough one.
My muslim husband
Allahu akbar!
Allah hears whoever praises Him.
Look, Daniel is spying on us!
I would like to
better understand the purpose
for which the hijab was introduced
and whether it still serves
the same purpose today.
In short, why a Muslim woman
should wear the hijab.
Basically,
covering the head is mandatory.
However,
the way this is put to practice
differs from one situation to another,
from one context to another.
In Europe, let's say,
the hijab may look different
from the ones in Muslim countries.
There may be small differences.
That's acceptable.
There are situations where
you can't wear a hijab at work.
You put this on your forehead.
That's ok.
And now you pull it up.
And you pin it closed here.
- Like this?
- Yes.
I feel so strange already!
You want to try this one?
You look so beautiful.
The hijab isn't just about
covering your head,
You must also have
a decent outfit, not too tight,
You must be modest from head to toe.
The same is required of men.
It's so pretty, just like blonde hair.
Such a pretty little scarf.
Look how pretty.
I feel like a saint.
I feel like I'm not allowed
to do anything wrong now.
No, only good things.
You just can't!
You can be very cheerful
and pretty with a hijab.
My, aren't you a pretty one.
They say you can't get married
if you can't cooksarmale.
- Have you cooked sarmale before?
- Yes.
- Really, you have?
- Yes.
When?
One time, when I was little.
Love, these are the first sarmale
you've cooked for me.
You'll love them.
I'm so proud of you!
Can't have Christmas
withoutsarmale!
If you like them,
I can make them more often.
I don't celebrate Christmas,
so any occasion is as good as the next.
You're saying I can cook them anytime.
- I should remember this.
- What?
No chance I'll forget this,
I've been at it all day.
I still sometimes think that
this whole Islam thing,
and how a Muslim
is supposed to behave...
I don't know if I...
I hope I can adapt
to everything it involves.
This is very new to me,
I don't know if I will like all of it.
My biggest fear
is about how we'll manage to...
to maintain a good relationship
with my parents.
Why would you have any doubts?
Past behaviour.
Meaning?
Meaning that it happened before.
Not meeting their expectations.
- Stop thinking about that!
- Oh well.
This time it will be different!
- In sha'Allah.
- Stop thinking about it.
I didn't put on any make-up,
just a little concealer around the eyes.
- That's all.
- It's still noticeable.
What, the make-up or
the lack of bags under my eyes?
Just a little.
What do you see?
You are very beautiful.
- Which part?
- All of you.
Right or left?
It makes no sense, why do
people in Mecca fast 12 hours a day,
but if you're in Europe,
in the Nordic countries,
you fast for 18-19 hours a day?
- Why can't we do the same?
- Six hours is a big difference.
Then we should fast
the way they do in Mecca.
I don't want to do it wrong,
but I also don't want to be in this state
where I'm like a vegetable.
So what's best, doing the full fast
and feeling like a vegetable,
or fasting for less time,
but still being able to be productive?
It depends on the sun,
I can't just make my own religion.
After a good night's sleep,
you wake up with fresh thoughts,
and the brain...
The brain is...
How to put it?
You still think you can have
a good relationship with them?
Isn't it very sad,
not getting along with your own parents?
No! You can't have that
if you live in their house.
Why can't you see that?
This is normal,
didn't you read the Qur'an?
It says you have to be
independent from your parents!
Does it say you should
live with your parents until 40?
- No.
- See?
Daniel, I told you time and again
if we live here, there will be trouble.
I begged you to find
a new place, to move.
We knew it would come to this.
What made you think
it would turn out different?
See it as a way of
protecting your parents.
Since they won't be happy
with any partner of yours,
you can't possibly
share a house with them.
They didn't like it
when you were single either.
Their problem is with you, not me.
Yes, that's true.
I've never offended or disobeyed them.
I've always respected them,
given them space.
I never fought with them.
I tried to be beyond any reproach.
I tried to be unbiased towards them,
I swallowed my pride for them.
You fight with them
and they give me shit.
When you go one way
and you hit a wall,
and it happens again, and again, and
again, shouldn't you change direction?
Doesn't it mean that road is closed?
Alright, we move out as soon as we can.
And, yes, I knew all these things.
I was naive.
Please, calm down.
I love you.
Make sure the chickens don't get out
and do exactly as I did!
- Alright.
- Dig out the horseradish.
Don't pack so many eggs for me.
- I have plenty.
- Keep some for yourself!
The chickens will start moulting soon.
- So keep some.
- They're not moulting yet.
They've been laying a lot.
- I thought you'd be pregnant by now.
- God willing!
We don't need to hurry.
Grandma,
why should we have children?
So she has heirs.
Don't say that!
You!
No, he's just asking.
- What for?
- Why, you...
- Wretched the childless!
- Why?
They leave nothing behind!
Some leave knowledge.
- Like how?
- In a book, maybe.
Don't say that, Daniel!
Do you even know
how much you'll love your child?
- I'd be so happy if you had one or two.
- I could write a book instead.
The childless are wretched!
- Others have 3 or 4 of them.
- So? It's not mandatory.
- You don't want children?
- Not right now.
- You neither?
- I do.
- No, I do.
- Do you?
Yes, two at least.
- At least!
- Two?
One girl, one boy.
- I want to see them before I die!
- You will.
But you set conditions for me.
You only want a child if I guarantee
I'll stay home and not travel.
Didn't you want the same thing?
You keep saying this,
but with conditions.
Conditions we both agree on!
- You said you wanted the same thing!
- And I do!
But I can't swear
I'll never travel anywhere again.
No one said you should.
It was about having a job here,
not having to travel all the time.
How long do you think
it's OK to be away?
- It depends on...
- On the project?
Do you find this normal?
Being away 8 times a year?
Two weeks each time?
If you think that's OK,
let's have a child.
This isn't about me setting conditions,
it's about you
spending time with your child.
So I'm setting conditions?
Because I want my family close?
Well, excuse me!
You tell me how you see it.
I converted in Romania,
but I truly understood Islam after I left.
I see.
There, I saw families
that were so close, so tight-knit.
They had many children, too.
It's lovely to see a family of 20
around the table during Ramadan.
I was thinking,
I don't celebrate Christmas and Easter,
which to them were essential,
those holiday times
during which families come together.
They felt it too,
and I felt a stranger in my own country.
It was one of the effects
of my conversion.
It put a barrier,
a chasm between us.
I'm sure they feel like
they've lost me since then.
I think, for them,
that's when this separation started.
And now it got this serious.
How's your health?
Good, and how is the family?
We are all good,
and we miss you!
We plan to visit you
this winter, but God knows.
We will speak again, with God's will!
Again?
I wanted to tell you something.
I'm going to the warm countries!
No, Mum, not forever!
Daniel wants to show me Jordan
and various places out there.
The people here are kind,
I've had many nice experiences
in Jordan.
Before the wars around here,
Jordan was very different.
When I first came here,
the war in Syria hadn't begun.
It was much better.
Everything was cheaper,
people were much kinder,
more generous.
How far to Syria?
100 kilometres.
- They never get bombed by accident?
- They do.
I'm glad we're here,
I'm always happy when I come to Jordan.
- I hope the war never gets here.
- Good luck hoping.
- I don't want to imagine it.
- Hoping won't help.
Why not consider it,
since it could happen?
You can't know it will.
Still, you can't think
"Oh, war will never come here."
"Even though it's raging
just a stone's throw from here."
O Prophet, peace be upon you,
O Messenger, peace be upon you,
O Beloved, peace be upon you,
May Allah's blessing be upon you.
Our Lord! send amongst them
a Messenger of their own
who shall rehearse Thy Signs to them
and instruct them
in Scripture and Wisdom...
- And purify them.
- And purify them.
For Thou art
the Exalted in Might, the Wise.
So, love.
Welcome to Jordan.
You can leave the camera there.
Where it totally doesn't smell of gas.
And it's not cold.
Totally not dirty either, yay!
Let's party!
- Are you cold?
- No, just my legs.
Why don't you put on an extra layer?
- Can't manage with your scarf?
- I always pull it too tight.
Theirs look loose,
I don't know how they do it.
You'll learn, love.
See, they only wrap one end around!
All of them.
How do you feel wearing the scarf here?
Normal.
Here, I'd feel odd
if I wasn't wearing one.
So the place gives you motivation?
A lot.
Here, if you see someone
without a scarf, you do a double-take.
"Why isn't she wearing one?"
He told me to try cow's tongue.
"Coffee" isqahuwa.
- Qahuwati, "your coffee", for women.
- Andqahuwatuke for men.
not of those who have earned
Your anger or of those who are astray.
Amen.
Remember, O Prophet,
when your Lord said to the angels,
"I am going to create a human being
"from sounding clay moulded
from black mud."
I believe that
each woman deserves a man.
Why does she deserve a man?
Is he a piece of cake?
To cut it?
No, he's a man.
He can give her...
He can give another one the same.
The Prophet had 13 women!
- Not at the same time.
- Yeah, the same time!
Yes, Prophet Muhammad
had 13 wives
and he treated all good,
and he loved them all together.
He can do that.
The man, God created him
to love four women.
Yes, yes, God created him like that.
Every woman must believe that
and not discuss
anything more about this matter.
Do you believe
you can love four women?
Yeah!
I told you!
But why is it like this?
Why do all men...
No, who told you all men? No.
Our fathers, our uncles,
they didn't love anyone else.
Except our mothers.
They didn't. Why?
Because our mothers were
very gentle, very good, very nice
for the husband.
Maybe she didn't know how, or...
She didn't know
how to treat him like this.
They were not created
to love four women?
No, no.
You can't love four men, can you?
It's hard to love one!
It's good to love one!
I like it when it's louder.
This is one of the things
I missed the most.
Hearing the Adhan?
Yes.
May the peace and mercy
of Allah be with you.
May the peace and mercy
of Allah be with you.
I seek forgiveness from Allah.
I don't get it.
Why do you feel ugly?
The very purpose of the hijab
is to cover your beauty,
so you don't draw the attention
of other men, that's the idea.
That's not true,
you don't have to feel ugly.
Love, you wear the hijab
to hide from the gaze of men.
Right.
- Does that make sense?
- Of ocurse.
I don't think you're ugly
with a scarf over your head.
Then it's all good.
I can't find you ugly.
How are you feeling?
Wonderful!
What am I supposed to say?
If you don't want to have children
in Jordan, why not move away?
Isn't that what we're trying to do?
You said you like it here.
For now, I like it here.
Do we have a choice?
We can go anywhere we want.
You tell me,
what are our choices now?
Rather than getting
cold sores from head to toe,
I'd rather go home and have my peace.
Don't tell me you want to stay.
I didn't say that, I just
don't want to go back home!
- We'll have to go back.
- Only to visit.
- No, not to visit.
- Why, then?
Many reasons.
For one, I miss my family.
Also my contracts.
We have to go back soon.
You think I'm happy
in this dingy apartment?
But it's all we have now.
We should be glad
we have each other.
- I'm glad for that.
- Me too. Come here.
You don't want?
You finished with this? Not yet?
Not yet, but you can take it.
You can take it,
I can cut it in my hand.
No problem.
Usually people who decide to do
home schooling do it themselves.
All this travel
from one place to another...
Being in Romania, at the beginning,
this was 10 years ago.
In 2009.
I converted there,
I was fasting the first Ramadan.
Well, half of it there.
And after the second Ramadan,
I was very...
confused in Romania.
Why?
Because all my friends
told me that I was crazy.
My family also was
totally against this idea.
They were scared somebody would
wash my brain and I would...
become a terrorist.
That is the idea about Islam in Romania
So I said, OK.
I like the Qur'an very much
and I want to learn more.
So I came to Jordan.
Here I heard all the different kinds of...
of ideologies, oftariqa.
I was starting from Salafi, Sufism...
All opportunities which I had
to go and learn something about Islam,
I was there.
You don't have to judge,
tell anybody "you will go to Hell
because you are not like me."
Who are...
Who are we to judge anyone?
Of course.
Film them, not me!
I'm filming them too.
- I'm glad we came.
- Isn't it awesome?
- Who would have thought?
- I never imagined a place like this.
This place exceeded my expectations.
In so many ways.
Stop asking me why
I'm wearing the hijab, I have no idea.
How are you feeling in it?
Ugly.
- Then why wear it?
- No idea.
Sometimes I feel pretty,
sometimes ugly.
But that's not why I wear it.
Doesn't beauty come from inside?
Yes, but I still don't know
why I'm wearing the hijab.
Maybe I'm trying to be more
respectful to people in these countries.
Allahu akbar!
It woke me up,
I had a nightmare because of it!
- I like it very much.
- It's not normal!
Maybe other people don't want
to hear the town booming with it at noon.
I don't find that normal.
You're supposed to know when to pray
without that song shaking the walls.
I find the atmosphere helps.
Others do, too.
Sure, it helps them a lot,
with all these wars around!
This faith has helped them so much!
How does it help this nation,
this country?
Half the globe is at war.
I change every day.
Everyone changes every day.
I change every day too.
It's normal.
Change is part of our evolution.
How many kilos are we allowed?
Eight.
It's been forever, you strangers!
You forgot your poor old mum and dad.
I was forced to go to church.
Who forced you? God?
People kept sending me to church,
but I'm not religious.
Then you still have some work to do, son.
- This chapter isn't finished.
- I only believe in God, not in priests.
Who believes in priests?
See how it comes to conflicts?
How?
Because each person
fights for their point of view.
Talking religion gets you nowhere.
People stick to their point of view
and they defend it to the bitter end.
Everyone sticks to their own.
So it's best not to mention religion.
Not true!
With my friends,
I could talk religion until morning.
We'd ask
"Why is God so and so?" until dawn.
We never reached a consensus.
- This subject is...
- Taboo!
It's to live and die for,
we're born with it.
You can't avoid it,
God help you if you do.
"God help you" is about faith too.
God help you if don't believe!
I just said I believe.
You just can't get it right!
Did I say I wanted water in my wine?
- What's this?
- Red wine and water.
And what did I say?
- Red wine and water.
- I said white, no water.
You brought me the exact opposite!
To us, One means One. God can't be
both in Earth and in Heaven,
both spirit and flesh.
Yes, God is God and the
Son of God is the Son of God.
I respect you and
I don't want to start a polemic.
Through your culture and education
you can try to convince me.
It's not that you're against me,
you can just try to explain,
bring arguments to show
what I'm saying is wrong.
Actually, what Orthodox Christianity says.
Not me personally.
I understand, but after being
a Christian for so many years,
being educated as one...
You mean an
Eastern Orthodox Christian.
To me, Christianity is all the same.
Orthodox, Catholic, Baptist, Pentecostal.
Any religion believing in Jesus
and celebrating Christmas and Easter
is Christian.
So do they pray
morning, noon, and evening?
Five times, they're compulsory.
Don't they have jobs?
The Qur'an says work is important
and you shouldn't be lazy.
You keep it balanced.
Work with 10-minute prayer breaks.
Then it's back to work.
They don't pray all day long.
They need to support their families too.
I see.
Serves you right.
Told you not to go outside.
You did it to yourself.
Happy holidays!
Thank you.
Alif Lam Mim.
This Book, there is
no doubt in it, is a guide
to those who guard against evil.
Those who believe in the unseen...
It's so big.
Got your desk?
Now I can get down to work!
- Get cracking!
- Alhamdulillah.
- After a well-earned break.
- Want coffee?
Show it to the camera.
Are you alright?
This can hold me, I don't know about you.
I used to jump down as a kid.
You're not a kid anymore.
Pass the camera.
Just go on.
There.
Do we carry these over?
- To the stable?
- Yes, put it down there.
I'll just go out.
She doesn't like her.
She says you should leave her
and find a nice girl.
She has a friend with
a 24-year-old daughter for you.
She thinks Alexandra is lazy.
That's not true. Grandma.
She did the same
with my previous marriage.
It's always the same.
Know what I mean?
- She heard she's a Gypsy.
- That's not true!
That's what she says!
She also says...
You know what?
I'm done talking.
In the name of God
the Merciful, the Compassionate.
The Entirely Merciful,
the Especially Merciful,
Sovereign of the Day of Recompense.
I told you we can't be happy
until your parents accept us!
I told you a thousand times!
So what do you suggest?
You're abandoning us, Daniel!
I hope you're proud of yourself!
Tell her the truth:
I don't want to see her again!
Leave her!
What?
Leave her! Divorce her.
That girl is sick!
Send her back to her Gypsy mother.
She's not fit for you.
And how do you know she's a Gypsy?
She is!
- Why do...
- Everyone knows!
All of Cluj knows she's a Gypsy.
She's a sick Gypsy
who can't have children!
Send her back to her Gypsies!
Mark my words,
if you don't divorce her,
you're not inheriting a dime!
Fine, they can keep their fortune.
I want Romanian grandchildren,
not Gypsies.
She'll put everything in her name
and you'll be left with nothing.
Divorce her, do you hear me?
Very nice, what can I say.
How very interesting.
Can you hear me?
Hello?
You're upset,
I'm upset that you're upset,
and our life is a constant struggle.
I'm not happy, you're not happy,
your family is not happy.
We live in constant misery.
I don't know how long I can keep it up.
But you still think
we're the ones at fault.
If you believe that,
you should know what the fault is!
Tell me what I'm doing wrong
so I can fix it!
If there's something wrong,
let's fix it!
You can't say "we're all guilty"
and wait for things to work out!
If you still think we're all at fault,
let's see what we should do!
Come again?
I just think problems are
solved with calm and patience.
- Like what?
- Everything.
What does that have to do
with our discussion?
Well, if we're to...
Let's just think a little.
What's the difference
between being at fault
and not being at fault?
None.
Goodnight.
- Answer me.
- I said all I had to say.
- Love...
- I'm done.
Well, maybe...
I don't know, Alexandra.
I can't keep doing this, it's pointless.
Alex!
How are you?
Are you coming down?
"We don't go to bed angry!"
Were you aware I was upset?
What did you do?
You tried to reach out, but couldn't?
You "tried"?
Freaking amazing!
I was a bit miffed that you got angry.
- You're the one who's miffed?
- What's the point of this?
What do you mean,
what's the point?
We have to solve the issue
once and for all!
What's the point of these arguments?
The point is for you to understand!
So we're not back to the same shit
day after day, forever!
Is it so hard to love a woman?
When all she asks for is some comfort?
At least a kiss,
it's all she asks!
If you've made her upset,
at least go hug her!
How many times
do I have to explain?
How proud can you be,
letting me lie there like a rag?
After what happened the other day!
You're too proud to do anything!
And then you blame it all on me!
Why do we have to go through this?
I gather you're leaving for a long time,
since you're taking all your teas.
You really had to empty out
the fridge and pantry?
Don't worry, I've left you enough.
So you're not coming back
anytime soon?
- That garbage won't take itself out.
- Say what?
- What were you saying?
- You didn't even take out the garbage.
I will, don't worry,
I'm sure I'm capable.
I've done a lot today,
in case you haven't noticed.
- Now you can do whatever you want.
- I could do that before too.
I'll have time
to take out the garbage too.
- What now?
- It's my home too.
- If it's yours, live in it!
- I can come and go whenever I want.
- Really?
- Yes.
What am I supposed to understand?
Where are you going?
- I'm still considering.
- Considering?
Why do you ask,
you won't let me in next time?
I might just not.
I'll come with someone
to pick up my stuff.
I won't stop you, don't worry.
Even if we break up,
I don't want us to sink so low.
I sure hope so.
So are we breaking up, Alexandra?
It's a risky bet, attempting this.
Saying "we'll cut all ties with them"
would endanger your relationship
and make you feel guilty
for abandoning your parents.
- That's what Alexandra wants.
- No!
I just want to hear that you love me!
I've never heard you tell her
"Mum, I love my wife."
Not once have I heard you say that!
A difficult situation.
Daniel, you have my sympathy.
You're between a rock and a hard place.
Whatever you do, someone suffers.
I'm just tired of it.
On Sunday, when I saw Alexandra
being so hurt, blowing up in anger,
when I saw how much this bothers her...
I don't know how to make it right.
Daniel, you are free.
You are not in prison anymore.
You are no longer a prisoner.
You are a free man.
The price of freedom is responsibility.
Being free, we are responsible
for all we do with our freedom.
Parental love can get in the way
of your freedom regarding relationships.
There, you need to draw a line:
I am a grown-up.
It will be hard for her to accept.
You will always be her baby,
her one-year old, her toddler.
It's how a mother thinks.
You need to show her:
"I am man now,"
"I am in a relationship
with someone I love."
"Please, for my sake,
respect this person."
You know what I mean?
Please decide
what's best for my wife and me
and if this marriage is good for us.
If You believe we can
have a happy marriage
bless it in Your name.
To be an example among people.
Our Lord, give us joy
in our spouses and children.
Make us good examples
to those who are aware of You.
If it is possible,
please smoothen
the path of our marriage.
Help us get over our difficulties
and find a way
of communication and understanding.
If not...
Give us both what is better for us.
Please make this separation easy.
And help us continue our lives.
Amen.
There is no God but Allah,
with no partner or associate.
To Him belongs
Sovereignty and Praise.
He gives life and causes death.
Here I am at your service,
O God, here I am.
To You alone is all praise
and all excellence,
and to You is all sovereignty.
There is no partner to You.
Here I am at your service,
O God, here I am.
You have no other partners.
Allahu akbar!
I bear witness
that there is no god but Allah.
I'm so happy to hear it, love!
Alhamdulillah!
I feel we've learned something from this.
How do you feel?
We'll meet in a few days, in sha'Allah.
I miss you so much!
I would really like for us to
see these places together, too.
I really would.
Alright. Love...
Have a nice day, then.
Take care.
I'm so glad I got to
start my day with you.
Yeah.
So, alhamdulillah.
We'll talk more when I get back.
But I'm very happy for all
that happened and is happening.
May Allah arrange
our lives as He knows best.
I love you!
I love you so much!
I'm going to pray a lot for us,
and for everybody else!
Hey, love!
I want you, not the camera!
I missed you!
I missed you so much.
It's like you've been gone a lifetime!
That looks great on you.
You like it?
Yes!
I'm so glad.
- You are beautiful.
- Thanks.
Let's take a selfie,
since you brought the camera.
- You are my family now.
- Really?
- Yes.
- I'm so glad.
Beyond that, we'll see
about the rest of the family.
- I love you.
- Me too.
- Selfie!
- Wait, my hat!