My Online Valentine (2019) Movie Script
1
[energetic music]
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
Man, it's beautiful out here.
Ah!
- What's happening, big homie?
- What the hell
you doing, man?
It's a beautiful day,
man, like you said.
So, I decided to come out here.
Man, you know, check out
some of these reviews
on my site, man, blazedates.com.
You know what I'm saying?
Ah, the dating website.
Right, right, right.
It's been doing its thing,
so I'm just trying
to see what's up.
I see you, though.
What you see?
You fresh out the gym.
You got the wife-beater
on, muscles popping.
I see you, bro.
Trying to get like
you, man, you know.
Trying to look good
in a wife-beater.
You know, this is
ai'ight, right now.
I see, well, first off,
you're not supposed to eat
a big bowl of Cheetos after
you leave the gym, man.
Your Cheetos is
stale, by the way.
Oh wait, hold on,
hold on. Okay, look.
I stumbled across
this dude, man.
He's a social media guy,
like got all these followers.
I heard he left me
comments and reviews
so let's see what he
talking about, man.
Yo, yo, yo, what's up?
This is your boy, Raz, and
I'm here to give you a review
on blazedates.com
and I have to say,
that shit is wack.
It is the worst dating
site you can ever be on.
You see I was supposed
to go on a date
with this girl name Joy, right.
Um, one second.
Lovely, right?
Oh Joy.
She was not a joy to look at.
She was bald, 400
pounds, man features,
on the dinner table talking
about what you gonna get me.
An uber!
What you think?
I'm not dating you,
Nutty Professor.
So, look, if you want
to date fake people,
go ahead, be my guest.
But me, I can't.
I'm gonna stick to
the old-fashioned way
and go to the club or
slide in somebody's DM.
But I'm not doing this app.
This blazedates.com,
shit is trash!
Trash!
Trash!
Trash!
- Ha!
- Yo man, what the hell
was that, man?
I like him.
He's funny.
To me, he's a hater.
Aye, man, according to
him, your website's trash.
- Bro.
- Trash.
Trash!
Come on, chill out, man!
[quirky music]
Two, four, five,
seven, nine, 12.
So, how many cookies am
I taking home with me?
None of these
cookies are for you.
Every time you make these
cookies, you know I get half,
like a divorce.
Not today.
So, how was last night?
Perfect.
I mean, he might
not be the one, one.
But he can definitely
take me out again.
And again.
[Both] And again.
Like your many other men.
The problem is?
Oh, you don't have a problem,
I don't have a problem.
No, I don't.
I mean, don't you
think it's time for you
to like get back out there?
Get on that pony
and ride?
I have no idea why the things
that come out of your mouth
still surprises me.
I don't know either.
How long has it been since
you and Ajax broke up?
It's been six months and
three days and 17 minutes.
It's been a lil' time.
Okay.
Since you've been on a date?
Since she's been on a date?
It is not a crime.
Some people are okay
with being single.
- I'm not.
- Oh, I know.
But I'm trying something new.
You should try a new man.
You know how hard it
is to find a decent man?
They're either married or
trifling or I don't know.
No, I'm good.
What you should
try is online dating.
You want me to
put a profile up
and click a picture and
be like, I like you.
- Yes!
- No!
That's weird.
No it's not.
You know my homegirl
down at the bank, Nisha,
with the big butt?
- Right.
- Right.
So, she went on this
website blazedates.com.
She met her a complete man,
has a wonderful career.
He is cute.
A very decent 401K,
I'm just saying.
You know, I don't want to
put the brother business
out there, but it's decent.
Wait, Nisha's man?
- Yes.
- So, she met him on Blaze?
Yes.
Wait, what's his name?
Marcus.
[Cozi] Wow.
Oh my god, Marcus.
A regular name, not
something stupid like Ajax.
I mean isn't that
what you like clean
the tub with or
something like that?
Okay, yes.
Well, I'll think about
this blazedates.com,
whatever, I don't know,
I'll think about it.
- You really should.
- It's just weird.
It is the wave.
Cozi, seriously,
I'm gonna tell you,
I didn't want to
tell nobody else,
Aisha and Steph
Curry, online dating.
No, they didn't.
Okay.
Barack and Michelle,
online dating.
Stop.
T.I. and Tiny,
bitch, online dating.
Maybe so.
I'm just saying.
Just try it.
What's the worst
that can happen?
Let it go.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I'm just letting you know.
When you find
one, you tell me.
[Lalah] I will tell you
because you know my memory
is like what animal?
- An elephant.
- Exactly!
So, can a sis get more
than just some cookies?
Can I have like a full entree?
How do you always
come here ready to eat?
I'm doing cookies
today for the blog.
I'm not cooking for you.
'Cause my best friend cooks.
'Cause my best friend-NN.
She can cook.
Yup.
- Hello.
- There you go.
- Well, this is drink.
- Eat that.
There you go.
So, can we just have a
little toast to blazedates.com?
[Cozi] To Blaze Dates.
- Dot com.
- Dot com.
Thank you.
Ooh, still get me right there.
Mm, that's good.
Go ahead, check the
cookies, I'm hungry too.
Those cookies are not ready.
They are, I can,
I can smell it, they ready.
They told me, they was like...
[Cozi] These are for you.
I actually made these for you.
That's why you my girl.
You knew you better make me
more cookies on the side.
I'm still gonna eat those,
but I'm gonna eat those too.
Thank you very
much, appreciate it.
[energetic music]
Aye man, I know I'm not
watching you make a profile
on your own dating website.
I know that's not what's
happening right now.
No, no, no.
I just need to prove that
my dating site is good
because I know that it's good.
It's just people tripping
with these comments,
these reviews, man.
You worried about
comments on the Internet?
Bro, look at me, man.
Look at your hairline.
Well, you can't look at it,
but look at my hairline.
Look at this part.
Bro, we are crafted to
perfection, all right.
We don't need no Internet
to get girls, man.
No disrespect to your
site, I'm just saying.
That's the point, fool.
I know we don't need it.
It's not for us.
But some people who
really need this stuff
to make a love connection,
you know what I'm saying.
So, I'm gonna make the
profile, prove that it works.
Then I'll be able to
call these people out
on their bullshit, you
know what I'm saying.
Look, made a profile, that easy.
Done.
Okay, that plan sucks.
And your username is B-red?
That's whack.
That's what we going with?
I can't use my real
name, man, come on.
So, they don't have a
picture of you on your site?
Nope, they don't
know what I look like.
So look, once I put
these pictures up,
it's gonna get real.
Yeah, I feel you.
I feel you.
No, it's still weak.
Don't do that.
That's whack.
And I'm not wasting a haircut
in here with you, all right.
I'm going to be out there, okay.
But on a serious note,
you know I'm going
through troubling times.
I really appreciate you,
you know, I'm going through
with my baby mom,
my water's cut off,
still got a turd
flip in the toilet.
And I appreciate it,
man, I really do.
How much do I owe you, man?
You good, man,
don't even worry.
Say it again.
[Blaze] Don't even
worry about it, bro.
I ain't got to pay you
back, ball and Blaze?
Ball and Blaze, I ain't
got to pay you back?
I got you when I get my
cheque. I'm out, man.
Hit me up.
Let me know if your shower
works when you get home.
This is gonna be dope.
Mm.
Blazedates.com, huh?
Maybe it's time I find
someone to hang out with?
Can't be alone forever.
Right, let's see.
Men seeking women.
Mm.
Don't count the days,
make the days count.
Here goes.
[quirky music]
Wow.
These girls are nice.
Okay.
All right.
Business owner.
Loves to cook.
No kids.
Very important.
Very interesting, Mr. Blaze.
Very interesting.
This girl is cute.
Loves to cook.
Runs her own food blog.
Okay, nice.
No children.
I'm gonna hit this girl up.
Yeah, she's bad.
Mm.
[cellphone dinging]
It's him.
Okay.
Think I'm gonna
message him back.
[message dinging]
[cellphone ringing]
Mm.
Hey mom.
No, I'm like two minutes
away from walking out
to come get you.
Mm-mm.
I did not forget
about the appointment.
Of course not.
Okay.
I'll see you in a bit.
Love you.
Mm.
[message dinging]
Hey girl, thank you
for letting me borrow
these beautiful earrings
for my date tonight.
Oh yeah, no problem.
You know it's for a date
I'm going on with the CEO?
Where do you find these guys?
Oh everywhere.
Have fun.
[keyboard clacking]
What you doing over there?
Just browsing.
Looks like a few
things over there.
What you browsing for?
These men look good.
Right, and I think I
found an interesting one.
Okay.
So, check it, he's
an entrepreneur.
No kids.
[Both] Jackpot.
Exactly.
We were messaging
earlier this morning.
I'm trying to see
if he's online.
I mean nothing really
is popping off,
but, you know, it's interesting.
You never know.
Oh, so just send him some
sexy pictures like mm, ah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
but he's a stranger.
I don't know him.
That's how you get chose
out. That's how you get bagged.
So, you want me to send
pictures of my tits and ass
to a random guy?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh no thank you.
I don't want to be
chosen like that.
Okay.
So, you can do it
your librarian way,
but it's okay if you want
to live a little, Cozi.
It's okay.
No, I like being a librarian.
Okay, so it looks like you
probably may have found someone
to share those boring
Saturday nights with.
Sounds like a plan.
- Okay.
- Two brain peas in a pod.
Good luck.
But, for me, I will be
going on my date tonight
with a CEO.
I will talk to you later.
Bye, have fun.
Lock up.
[Lalah] Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
[message dinging]
[quirky music]
[Cozi laughing]
Rough night?
What happened to you?
Long date.
I got two hours of sleep.
Well, why are you here?
Oh, to give you back
these earrings, girl.
Thank you so much.
Oh, boy, feels so
good on my ear.
Here you go.
You ain't come to
give me these earrings.
Well, I was here
to check on you.
I want to see how
my friend was doing.
Okay.
I was being nosy and I
wanted to see what was up
with that guy from last night.
There we go, there we go.
The truth comes out.
Well, we have been messaging
each other all night.
Ooh.
So, you got his number, huh?
[Cozi] Yep, he gave it to me.
Okay, so you gonna call him?
What the hell you waiting for?
No, that's gonna
be like way too fast.
It's 2019, you better move!
This is not the '50s, girl.
'Cause if you don't,
some Insta-thot
gonna grab him right up.
And you not gonna have no
date for the Valentine's Day.
And you won't be
chilling with me
because I will be with a man.
Oh, I don't want to be with
you on Valentine's Day anyway.
- Perfect.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- But I don't know
about this online dating thing.
It makes me a little wary.
I mean, what if he's crazy?
No, I got your back.
I'll go with you.
Like a chaperone?
No.
Yeah.
A little bit.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I'll be there.
I'm gonna check him out first,
make sure he's not crazy,
but if he is crazy,
I'm gonna beat his ass.
That's true, I like that.
That sounds easy enough, okay.
So, you would do this, right?
Yes, I do it all the time.
Okay.
All right.
I'ma just text him.
[Lalah] Go ahead.
All right.
Okay, so what you gonna
say? 'Cause I know you corny.
- Ah, I know what I'ma say!
- Okay, hit it.
I'ma start with,
Hello!
- That's corny, that's corny!
- Wait, I sent it!
- Its on there!
- Give me the phone!
Give me the phone,
give me the phone.
Give me the phone! I don't
want to give you the phone.
Watch a master.
[clears throat]
Hey handsome.
Ooh, okay.
Heart eyes, heart eyes.
Okay, okay, that's
enough hearts.
- Eggplant.
- Ooh, uh-uh!
- Eggplant!
- No, delete the eggplant!
- All right, I'll go back.
- Delete the eggplant!
All right, I'm deleting it.
Would like to see you
in person soon, send.
Bam, there you go!
- Oooh!
- I know!
[Cozi] Oh my God!
What if he doesn't text me back?
Girl, he gonna text you back.
He thirsty, just like you.
I'm not thirsty.
Oh, you definitely thirsty.
But that's fine.
Ooh, do you have something
for this headache?
Can't take it in here.
So bright.
My god.
Mmh-mmh-mmh.
[energetic music]
[cellphone buzzing]
[Cozi] Still no response?
Girl, I don't know
your phone like that.
Nothing.
You see I told you that
wasn't the right move to make.
That was too soon
sending that message.
Oh my god, he is just
playing hard to get.
He is thirsty just like you.
He is going to hit you back.
I'm telling you.
Anyway, I need to
focus on business.
I have, I need to come up
with an interesting recipe
for the blog.
Like a cool dessert
for Valentine's Day
or something, you know.
Cookies.
- Yeah, I could do cookies.
- You make good cookies, girl.
[cellphone dinging]
Oh wait, what is this?
He just texted me.
[Lalah] I told you.
He said, yes, I
would love to meet you.
And, oh wait,
there's another one.
Meet me at Redwood and we
can have a drink or two
with a little food.
Mm!
I told you!
He thirsty just like you!
- Nobody thirsty.
- I'm just saying.
Whatever.
You excited?
You pumped, okay.
I know, I know.
Well, it's my first time.
I didn't know and
I was like, uh.
It's not your first time.
On an online
dating thing, yes.
He could have been
crazy or creepy
and I'm like actually excited.
That's a little weird.
It's not, it's normal.
Everybody's doing it.
All right, well.
Okay, so we gotta focus.
I need a recipe.
Okay, so what's a good like
dessert for Valentine's Day?
I don't know, but it
should have eggplant.
You know what.
No, you and them damn eggplants.
- Sorry.
- I'm thinking like red
or pink hearts.
Like, okay.
A red...
Don't do it.
Aye Blaze, who am I supposed
to be, yo? Look, hey Blaze.
It's me.
I'll give you a hint.
I'm ugly.
That girl was not ugly, man.
She don't look like that.
- Whatever man.
- And why you always
eating my food, man?
[cellphone dinging]
It's delicious.
Ooh, ooh, I told you.
My plan was gonna work.
Look, I got a badie already
on deck from the dating site.
No, you don't, you
lying. Let me see.
Nah-uh. I don't even
want to show you yet
'cause I don't want
you to jinx it.
You know what I'm saying,
we've just been texting
a little bit back and forth.
Ain't nothing official,
so if it don't work out,
I don't want to hear
your mouth, man.
Oh she must be bad.
Or it's another ugly girl.
Trust me, this girl
is definitely bad.
Oh, it's like that.
Mm-hm.
What she do?
Let me see.
On her profile, it says
she runs a food blog.
That ain't no job.
She sell Fit Tea too?
Son, you got you an IG thot.
Oh my god, this girl
is not an IG thot, Rhett,
or whatever the hell that is.
We text a couple times
back and forth, man.
Seems like she
got a little class
and she's already agreed to
meet up with me at the Redwood
in a few days, so.
For real?
That's kinda quick, man.
I'm about to join your website,
sound like it's
working out for you.
It does work, I tried to
make you a profile, bruh.
Told you.
Dating site works, man.
[Rhett] So, you gonna
meet this girl or what?
Hell yeah, I'ma meet
up with this girl.
I mean I came up with this
plan for different reasons
but, at the same time,
it's good 'cause I get to,
you know, get out there with
this dating thing again.
Since that ugly
girl broke your heart.
So devastating.
- Yeah, Rhett, she dumped me.
- Tragic.
- She broke my heart.
- Mm-hm.
But you know how
I'ma make up for it?
By texting this badie.
How's your day?
Oh man, you sound soft.
It's not the Blaze that I know.
Who are you?
This is not the
Blaze I once knew.
We used to be warriors.
It's gonna be dope.
[energetic music]
Hi.
Hey.
Wow.
You look amazing.
Thank you.
You look quite
handsome yourself.
Wow, thank you.
Yes, I am a gentleman.
Yeah, chivalry is not dead.
Chivalry is not dead.
Now that you finally
here, how about we get
the night started with
a couple of drinks?
- Okay, I'd like that.
- What is Miss Cozi drinking?
Let's do a Vodka martini?
Vodka martini, good choice.
Two Vodka martinis please.
I'm glad you finally made it.
Me too.
I must say I am really
having a good time.
My friends and I come
here all the time.
We love the wings and, of
course, the food's always good.
Well, I feel the same way.
Wings are definitely fire.
But yeah, I had a real
good time tonight too.
I think we should do
this against, asap.
I mean, if that's cool with you.
Oh yeah.
That's cool with me.
I'm thinking maybe you
can cook for me next time,
I mean, since you like to cook.
Oh, so now I'm
cooking for you?
I mean, we can
test those skills.
What you think?
But aren't you the lady who
runs her own food blog, right?
I do, that I do.
So, maybe next
time we'll make it
a competitive cooking challenge?
I mean, if you're up
for it, of course.
I don't have no
problem with that
as long as you're
okay with losing.
Oh, I don't have a problem
winning at all, yeah.
Extra confident now.
Okay.
But no, seriously, I
had a real good time.
Me too.
You have my number, I
want you to call me asap
so we can do this again.
I think I will, Mr Blaze.
Real soon.
Miss Cozi.
[man whistles]
[Cozi] Ajax?
Cozi, what going on darlin'?
What the hell
are you doing here?
I was waiting on you.
Yuh looking like a snack there,
like a little doubles
with slight pepper, eh?
Yuh was waiting on me too?
Don't flatter yourself.
What do you want?
Leh we go inside and
catch up a little bit, nah?
[Cozi] No, good night.
[Ajax] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on, hold on.
You seriously not going
to talk to me at all?
Exactly.
Good night, Ajax.
[quirky music]
What the hell does he want?
Mm, I see you.
- What?
- Why you smiling
so hard, man?
I know you had that
date last night.
How was the ass?
Was it fat?
How was the titties?
Did you smash?
You eat all my damned food
and you asking me
all these questions?
You sounding like Inspector
Gadget right now, man.
You act like you the one
that's dating the girl.
What's up?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I just want to make
sure you held it down
for us.
Okay, well, yes Rhett,
the date was awesome.
Yes Rhett, she's a badie.
With a fattie.
But it's not even about
that with this girl, man.
All right.
She's different.
I mean, her personality
is crazy, man.
Her energy, man...
Yo, did you smash or not?
That's all I wanna know.
Really?
Dirty dog, you act like
you out here smashing girls
on the first date.
It was the first date, man.
Yeah, I do smash
on the first date.
All the time.
For real?
[Rhett] Yeah
man, all the time.
Wow.
Well, no, dude.
It's not even about
that with this girl,
you know what I'm saying.
I actually like her, man.
I'm telling you, she's a lady.
She's a woman, I can tell.
She's not like
these other girls.
Like I actually want to have
more conversations with her,
you know what I'm saying.
And I get to prove that
my site actually works.
You know, 'cause I got
her from my dating site.
I get to shut the haters
down at the same time.
You feel me.
Okay.
Eh, yeah.
I get it.
So, why you being
so secretive, man?
Let me see a pic.
I'm yay-one, day-one.
So, what's up, where it at?
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
I'ma show you,
not too soon, man.
Uh-uh, I don't want to jinx
it like you did last time.
Remember?
[Rhett] Mm, that
was an accident.
Right, accident.
All I'm saying is, man,
I don't really want to sound
like a duck or nothing,
but this girl might
be the one, man.
Oh yeah, you definitely
sound like a duck.
You got some more sandwich meat?
I'ma about to go
make a sandwich, man.
Yeah man, go get
some of my lunch meat
and make you a sandwich.
What the hell is he up to?
I just can't figure
this guy out.
I don't know.
[quirky music]
Thank you.
I really appreciate you
letting me come and talk to you
face to face.
Am, I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry.
And I miss you real, real bad.
Okay, Ajax, why
are you really here?
To talk to you
about my relationship.
Are you serious?
So, you pop up over
here last night
and then come back again this
morning unannounced, mind you,
to talk about the new
chic you're dating?
Wow, you have some nerve.
No, no, no, it's
not that easy.
I'm not exactly seeing
her anymore, so.
Really?
So, did she dump you
for someone better?
That's funny?
Mm, oh that is hilarious.
That is beautiful
karma, wouldn't you say?
Yeah something is what it is.
Well, I'm not
going to sit here
and talk about your
relationship drama, so.
Then hear this.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake by leaving you.
I should ah never
gone back with she.
I mean that is
meh ex-girlfriend.
It wasn't right then
and it's not right now.
You are the only woman that
I've ever been happy with.
For true.
I don't know what to say.
Is all right, yuh eh
have to say nothing now.
I just telling yuh.
I asking you for another chance.
A chance to make things right
and to be the man you deserve.
Yuh eh have to say nothing now,
just think about it.
I gone and work and then
maybe we could talk later
after you had some
time to think.
Ent?
Ent?
Yeah.
Sure.
I'll talk to you later.
Thanks for the coffee.
Mm.
[gentle music]
All right.
Aren't they beautiful?
Oh!
Voila!
What are these?
Homemade chicken pot pie.
This was a
good recipe to put on the blog
and everybody can share
it and it's perfect.
Ah!
Do you smell that?
They smell.
So, next time can
you make some soup?
You know, something
that I can consume.
Okay, well, this
isn't for you.
This is for the blog.
Okay.
- Okay.
- And you can try it later,
but, right now, let 'em cool.
God, it looks so good.
Yeah, the senior
citizens gonna love those.
They gonna be like, chu-chu-chu.
Whatever.
So, ma'am, how was
the date last night?
Oh, hmm.
It was really good.
So, we laughed, we
talked, we drank.
We set up for a second date.
- Okay.
- I know!
And he really likes
cooking as well.
So, he is going to cook
for our second date.
Nice.
So, are you gonna be
the dinner that he eats?
See, that's too much.
Yep, bring that back.
Yep, nope, mm-mm.
- I'm happy.
- Thank you.
- That you're finally dating.
- Yes.
- Getting out there.
- I know.
You know, he could be the one.
Or the next one
could be the one,
but the one is what coming.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe?
Best friend, what are
you not telling me?
Okay, Ajax came
over last night.
- Damn.
- Mm, I know.
I know and I turned him away.
I kicked him out and then
he came back this morning.
Let me go in my mind,
my mind, my mind, my mind.
He dumped you, right?
I dumped him.
No ma'am, he dumped you.
You don't remember?
When that lady posted
that picture of them
on the beach in Trinidad?
- Yes.
- You remember that?
- Mm-hm, thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah, and he said he
was sorry for walking away
and he made a mistake.
For walking down the beach.
That's fine.
A mistake or was it a choice?
Well, after he said
what he said, he left,
and transparency?
It felt good.
Like I started thinking
about what he was saying
and it felt good to
hear him say those words
that just, it
brought back feelings
I didn't know were there.
I get it, he apologized.
And I know he fine.
He got that accent.
- Right.
- He's like a tall
glass of like
chocolate, caramel...
His body.
[Both] His body.
Right.
But don't forget that Wednesday
when that lady posted that
picture and your girl found it,
of the two of them hugged
up, everybody seen it,
even my little brother was
like, ain't that your friend?
Oh my god he with that
big-butt girl in Trinidad
on the beach.
We remember, friend.
And then everybody
down at the bar knew.
Right.
And then everybody
at the bank.
- Okay, I got it.
- They knew too.
I remember.
And I will never forget.
And I know you will
never let me forget.
- 'Cause I'ma elephant.
- Right, I know.
- Thank you for that.
- I'ma elephant.
I got it.
Okay.
- I got it.
- Never forget.
I know!
So, as long as
you don't forget...
I got it.
Of course, I would
never forget that.
He hurt me, I know.
'Cause your girl was here,
solid as a rock here.
- But I just...
- Right here.
I can't help feeling
a little curious.
I'm wondering what he's up to,
like what, I don't know. I
don't even know how I feel.
Why?
Why do you need to
know what is he up to?
We have history.
History is what?
Old news.
It's easier said than done.
Yes, I know, I
want to walk away.
I want to let it go, I
want to not think about it.
But when he was here in
my face saying all that,
it just, I don't know.
It just made me feel a way.
Some type of way.
Can I please have some
wine 'cause I'm feeling
some kinda way.
I'm stressed.
These are ugly, can I...
They're cute, I'm sorry.
Thank you!
They're just not for me.
So hungry though.
- Let me get you some wine.
- Please.
- To bring that down.
- 'Cause you already know
I need that.
Yes, thank you.
Thank you, boo.
Well, that's what friends do.
Yes, friend.
And I will like a tall glass.
Thanks.
Certainly, anything else
you like?
No, I'm just gonna check out
these pictures.
- Yeah.
- What's up, bro?
- Padna, what going on?
- How you doing, man?
I cyar complain, daddy.
What the hell are you
doing around here, man?
I have been anywhere
that involves making money
is what I'm doing.
Makes sense.
Everything good?
I can't complain, man,
I can't complain at all.
You still with Tasha?
No, no, no, that is old news.
She was a little
on the clingy side.
Actually, ah waiting
on my new gyul here.
Well, she is not meh gyul
yet, but we wukkin' on it.
You know what I mean?
Okay, I got you.
You know in due time.
I actually meeting her here.
- Right now?
- Yeah boy.
Oh, you staying
with a bad one.
Hello darlin'.
[Cozi] Hi.
Cozi meet my dear
friend Rhett Thorne.
Rhett, this is my lady Cozi.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- Taught you well.
- Thank you, I appreciate it.
- She bad, brother.
- I agree.
Yuh could stop
shaking she hand now.
- My bad.
- Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
Hey man, you all, you know.
Mm-hm, right.
Yeah, yeah, love you too.
Go on about your
business, please.
[Ajax laughs]
What wrong with de face?
What's up with calling
me baby and the kiss?
I'm not your lady.
You're not my lady yet,
but you did decide to come
and ask me here for lunch.
To talk, I
invited you to talk.
The last time I saw
you, you got all deep
about making a mistake and
I need you to explain that.
Explain.
That need an explanation.
Stop it, come, leh
we get a drink.
Um, miss.
Uh, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I need a little clarity here.
So is it that you don't
want to be by yourself?
You don't want to be alone?
I mean, what is it?
Were you just lying yesterday?
I need information.
I was an ass.
Okay?
That you were.
All right, that's
not up for debate.
Previously, I was an ass.
But I do know that I miss you.
I know how I feel about you.
And I know that my relationship
with my ex-girlfriend
is deader than a doorknob.
And I'm just asking for a
chance to start over with you.
Would you?
- Just like that?
- No, not just like that.
I mean, we could have
lunch first and then dinner
and then maybe, you know?
[Cozi] That's not cute.
I'm not having dinner with you.
I already have plans for dinner.
Well, that's all right.
I ain't worried
about tomorrow night.
It could be another night,
I'm on your schedule.
As long as you're
willing, I good.
We'll see.
I guess I can have
lunch, I mean I am here.
Oh, that's my girl.
I mean a girl gotta eat.
You ain't never lied.
Bartender, lady, please.
The usual?
Sure.
Two Johnny Walker Blacks.
Thank you.
Coming right up.
We're not friends.
That's not true.
Don't speak in opposites.
No, we're not friends.
So, yuh enjoy lunch?
I enjoyed the food.
And the company?
It was all right.
Is all right, is all right,
yuh eh have to say nuttin.
I know yuh enjoy yourself.
I know you, Cozi.
You do know me.
And you know I'm not
about these games, Ajax.
Who playing games?
I ain't playing games.
Cozi, my feelings
for you are honest.
Yuh understand?
Maybe we could do
something another day?
I'll think about it.
All right.
Hey!
I guess we can do
something Saturday.
I'll text you.
Dat sounding good.
That was fast too.
I hate him so much.
Ah!
What am I doing?
God.
Wow.
I'm excited.
You should be.
I told you.
I told you, I told you.
You gotta trust me.
Well, it seems as if you
can throw down in the kitchen.
This is just one of
my chicken dishes, girl.
Wait 'til I make you some steak.
Then you really gonna
fall in love with me.
Oh wow.
Okay, well, let's see.
Wow.
That's really good.
I taste the nutmeg, I
taste the brown sugar.
Organic butter.
Organic butter.
Wow.
Okay.
I would even feature
this on my food blog.
That's how good this is.
For real?
[Cozi] Yeah.
That's dope.
You got me here feeling
like I'm a real chef.
The shoe fits.
It's good.
Okay.
Without trying to sound
too much like a cliche,
I have to say something so
just bear with me for a second.
What?
I don't really go to guys'
houses that I barely know
on the first date for dinner.
Like I'm just not that girl.
I just had to say that.
Okay.
So, what changed?
What's so different?
I feel very comfortable
being around you.
And I don't get the creeper
vibe, so there's that.
Creeper vibes?
I don't even know
how to accept that.
That's not a compliment.
Creeper vibes, well, whatever.
I'll take it right now.
Oh, but I do have my
pepper spray in the bag,
just in case.
[Blaze] Pepper spray, for me?
In the bag right now?
And hot sauce
and some seasoning.
I just, you know, I wanted
to be able to eat the food
and I just didn't know.
Wow.
I better be on my
best behavior then.
[Cozi] As you should.
But, no, honestly, you
would never have to worry
about anything from me.
I got sisters and I would
never want anyone to hurt
or disrespect them.
So, I always make sure I'm
respectful to the females.
Nice.
Plus, I'm a
gentleman, you know.
Still a few of us
still out here.
Wow, chivalry isn't dead.
Like on an online dating site?
Why, what's wrong with that?
I don't know,
it's my first time,
so I'm not really
an online dater.
You know?
I can understand that, but
you know what I'm saying,
it's 2019, things have
changed and people are looking
for love anywhere
they can find it,
so I'm willing to give
it a try, you know.
So, what about you?
What do you think about the
site, you know what I'm saying?
Meet anybody else, anymore
match-ups, hook-ups?
You got anymore dates lined up?
Wow, look at you.
Somebody's fishing for info.
- Oh, I'm fishing?
- Yeah.
Okay, you got me.
Yeah, I'm plotting a little bit.
Well, it's my first time
being online on any site.
This is my first online date.
You were my first online
candidate, if you will.
I don't know, you're my first
in everything in all of this.
You're the lucky first.
Okay, well, I'm
glad to be your first.
Hopefully, I'll be
your last, right?
Time will tell.
Right.
So, blazedates.com.
You like it?
It's cool?
So far, so good, you know.
I don't have anything
to compare it to,
so there's that.
What about you?
Is this your first online date
or are you the serial dater
like this is your thing?
Okay, first I'm a creeper,
now I'm a serial dater?
You just coming with all of it.
Yes, yes, that is my thing.
I lure pretty girls
like you to my house.
Cook 'em elaborate dinners.
That's my MO, okay.
That's very specific.
Let me stop playing with you.
But no, honestly, this
is my first time as well.
I just want to try
something new, you know,
switch it up a little bit.
- Yeah.
- I'm glad I did
because I found you.
I agree.
But I have to thank
my best friend.
She really twisted my arm
to set up an online profile.
She also gave me this
dress to wear tonight.
Okay, your best friend.
[Cozi] And I
wouldn't have met you.
Sounds like I need to
send her a thank you card.
[Cozi] Sounds like it.
[Blaze] She gonna be
the reason we get married.
Oh gosh, you don't
want to hear that speech.
But no, I was thinking,
you know what I mean,
since you like the site so much
maybe you can give a review
on yours on the blog?
Tell all your readers and
viewers about it, you know?
I mean, it's just a thought.
Maybe I could.
But you know what
I was thinking?
That next time I
should cook for you.
Oh okay.
So, I've earned a second
date, that's what you saying?
I guess you have.
Look who's plotting now.
[Cozi] Maybe a little bit.
So, what's up?
I'm with it.
You free tomorrow,
let's do this.
Well, tomorrow,
I'm not available.
We have a girl's
night planned, so.
Oh my god, girl's night.
I already know how that goes.
It's good, I ain't tripping.
I know you're a busy
girl or whatever.
So, what about next week?
Valentine's Day?
You gonna be free?
So, wait, you want to
hang out on Valentine's Day?
So, why you looking at
me like I'm a weirdo now?
No, actually, I'm not.
I...
I can't stop smiling,
actually, so.
Listen to me.
I'm not really trying to sound
like a weirdo or anything,
but I'm not doing
anything Valentine's Day.
And, if you don't have any plans
and you're not doing anything,
I would really like to spend
my Valentine's Day with you.
If that's okay?
I like that.
I think we can definitely
make that happen.
Good.
Sounds like Miss Cozi is
gonna be my valentine.
It looks that way, yes.
Speaking of Cozi, I've
been meaning to ask you this,
I'm sorry, your name,
it's very unique.
I've never heard
anything like it.
I mean is it short
for something else?
Yes, so my full
name is Cozette Newton
and Cozi came from my mom.
So, when I was a baby she
would wrap me up in a blanket
and she would say, you're
just so cozy, you're so cozy.
And the nickname
just kinda stuck.
So, I'm lovable, huggable Cozi.
Cute.
Okay.
Sounds like I'm gonna
be getting a lot of hugs
in the future.
Yeah, you play your cards
right, you definitely will.
Okay, but what about you?
Because when I first
saw your name online,
I thought about an
American gladiator.
I don't know, just Blaze!
I don't know.
Oh my god.
You just don't know how much
I got teased about my name
when I was little, man.
I've heard it all,
but it's the same way.
My mom wanted me to be unique.
She wanted me to stand out.
So, that's why she
gave me this name.
You never forget it
when you hear it.
Hey, Blaze works.
You're definitely unique.
Blaze and Cozi.
[Cozi] Blaze and Cozi.
2019 American gladiators.
I love it.
To Valentine's Day.
To Valentine's Day.
Oh, so you just in the
kitchen eating a big ass bowl
of cereal, huh?
Hey man, this isn't
even about me, all right.
Why you got so much
food in your fridge?
It's a refrigerator, man.
It's supposed to have
food in it, fool!
What you talking about?
Nah man, this is different.
It's like Tupperware and
collard greens and yams.
I never seen you cook like that.
I never seen you cook.
You had a girl over here?
Okay, okay, nice
detective work, buddy.
It's the Internet girl.
Internet girl, right?
Yes, I invited her over.
I cooked her dinner.
It was great.
She loved it, she loved me.
And guess what?
I'ma see her again
on Valentine's Day.
Uh!
Who are you?
Valentine's Day, for what?
What, what you tripping for?
Man, that ain't your girl.
You ain't even wait for her.
Well, what's the problem?
I don't get it, what's wrong?
Who is she, man?
Who is she?
She still a mystery to me.
She's not no
mystery girl, okay.
Her name is Cozi, all right.
You happy now?
Cozi?
[Blaze] Yeah, that's her name.
Cozi, it's short for Cozette.
What, what, what you
looking stupid for?
Please tell me you did not
used to date this girl, man.
Nah, but my boy is.
You never heard me
bring up Ajax before?
Ajax?
What the hell
kinda name is Ajax?
Hell no, I mean, Blaze.
Whatever dog, yeah.
But, yeah, he brought her to
the bar a couple of days ago,
your spot matter of fact.
And he kissed her and
said that's his shortie.
No, no, no, no, no, no way.
Not my girl.
Cozi.
Aye man, it's two girls named
Cozi, that's all I'm saying.
No, no, no, no, no, you
gotta have her mixed up
with somebody else, bro.
No way, not my girl.
- Yeah.
- Are you, no!
You got to have it wrong.
Matter of fact, I'll
show you a picture
and we can end this right now.
'Cause ain't no way you
talking about my girl.
Bam.
That's Cozi.
Huh!
That is definitely her.
That's the same chick, man.
I don't forget a face.
She bad, okay, you know me.
She bad, I seen her.
That's who it was, man.
Wow.
[Rhett] I'm sorry I
had to break it to you.
No man, it's all...
It's cool, like I
said, you the homie.
And I would rather you
tell me that anybody else,
you know what I'm saying.
It's better than I
heard it now than later.
Right.
Damn.
Thought she was different.
[Rhett] Your website sucks.
I hate it.
You love this dress.
Well, I hate that you're
wearing it on a date with Ajax.
Why are you even entertaining
him and his nonsense?
What's wrong with going
on a date with a guy?
Nothing.
Unless it's your ex.
Well, sometimes
you just do things
that doesn't always make sense.
We do,
which is why I won't be
able to help you tonight
pick out a dress,
but when you go out
with the Blaze guy again, I
will be happy to come over
and help you pick
out any outfit.
I just went out
with him last night
and we had a great dinner.
It was good.
But tonight you're
gonna go out with your ex,
ass backwards.
You're the one that told
me to start dating, right.
I'm dating.
Yeah, rich,
smart, classy guys.
Not your lying-ass ex.
Rich, smart, classy guys.
I think you are really
looking into this way too much.
I'm not dating Ajax.
We're just hanging out
and I'm showing him
what he's missing.
You know how you show
somebody what they're missing?
You pay them dust.
You don't put on a fly dress
and waste that beautiful
contour for him.
Well, friend,
I'm just having fun
and I thought you would be
able to understand that.
Girl, you're lying to me
and you're lying to yourself.
You miss him.
You want him back.
I get it.
That's your ex
and it's familiar.
But guess what?
He's in your past and
that's where he should stay.
You gotta move forward.
Something new,
somebody new, not him.
And I know you're scared
but, sis, this ain't it.
I wish you weren't going
out with Ajax tonight.
But I can't tell you what to do.
He's your past, sis.
But, as for me, I'm going home.
No dates and I'm fine with that.
Friend.
[soft music]
Yo, yo, yo, what's up guys?
This your boy Raz and
I'm here to give you
another virtual review
on the dating site
called blazecrap.com.
Yeah, you guys might
know it as Blaze Dates,
but no, it's total shit to me.
I went on another
date with another girl
who had a boyfriend
blowing her phone up.
Then he showed up.
Like control your mans!
Come on, man.
But I should have just smashed
because she was really fine,
but I'm a changed brother
trying to find love
and Valentines, but
I don't know, guys.
I'm gonna try to
give it another shot,
but right now it's
not looking too good.
But, aye yo ma.
Aye yo ma, come here.
Maybe this shit doesn't work.
Or maybe it does?
Damn.
Cozi, what's
going on, darling?
I got you home safely
and yuh ain't say nothing
the entire ride home.
What's the problem?
You showed up on my
doorstep three days ago.
You introduced me to
your friend as your lady.
Don't you think we need
to talk about this?
We talked at lunch.
We talked at dinner.
About regular stuff.
We didn't talk about us.
So, there's an us.
- Thanks for bringing me home.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
That's it for the night?
That's it period.
Nothing about you
has changed, Ajax.
Why you say that?
Because you're still
the same guy I met.
You just got better at lying.
Okay, you saying that
just because I asked you
to come by the house and chill.
Exactly.
As per usual, the only
thing you're worrying about
is getting some ass.
Cozi.
Co!
[groaning]
Cozi, Cozi, Cozi, Cozi!
Listen, listen, listen.
I'm sorry.
All right, I know I
made some mistakes,
but just tell me what
it is you want me to do.
What you need me to
do and I'll do it.
I promise.
I love you.
I love you with every
last piece of my heart.
You must understand that.
No.
[Ajax] You really
want me to go?
[soft music]
I can't believe this girl.
Mm.
[cellphone dinging]
[cellphone buzzing]
Is he ignoring me
or is he just busy?
Okay.
Oh, that looks great.
Okay.
What?
I cannot believe that.
This is gonna look
so good on the blog.
[quirky music]
See, my site does work, man.
What are they talking about?
I'm gonna check them all out.
There some nice
girls on here, man.
[keyboard clacking]
No, he's supposed
to contact me.
Okay.
Well.
Just a quick message.
Oh god I'm like a stalker.
[cellphone buzzing]
You know what.
Hey Blaze.
What's going on?
Good, how about yourself?
Great.
Have I been calling
you too much?
Nah. You good, you
know what I'm saying.
I've just been real busy.
This is the first time
I really had enough time
to call you back.
Oh okay. So, what
you been up to?
You know the usual.
Working, taking care
of business, cooking.
Dating.
Dating?
Yeah, you know, dating.
Enjoying myself,
living my best life.
What about you?
Oh, just working and stuff.
Hmm, yeah cool.
Well, I'm actually getting
ready for a date right now.
You know what I'm saying.
A date?
Yeah, a date.
You don't have a problem
with that, do you?
I'm just asking because
you been dating too,
at least that's what I heard.
Um, I.
Okay, well, I can't
really talk too much longer.
I got to go.
Got to get ready for this date.
Bye.
Bye.
Well, what was...
Whatever.
Dating other people?
[keyboard clacking]
How did you know I was home?
I was outside waiting for you.
[Cozi] Like a stalker?
A lil' something so.
I could come inside?
It getting a little
cold out here.
Thank you.
I send you some text
messages, yuh eh get them?
I got 'em.
Well, why yuh eh answer me?
Because I've been busy.
I'm working on a new
e-book for the blog
and I don't have time
for your games, Ajax.
Why it is you think
I'm playing games?
Because I know you.
And I also know you've
been telling people
that we're getting
back together.
What the hell?
Who said dat?
Lalah told me she
found out from Jay
and we're not together so why
are you telling people this?
I told a couple
people something,
but I ain't say all of that.
Come on.
What does that even mean?
I told a couple friends
that we were getting
back together,
not that we're back together.
That is not the same thing.
Oh, I could definitely
see how that's so different.
I don't see
what's the problem.
You never do.
I'm out here trying to live
my life without you, okay.
And you out there telling people
that we're getting
back together.
I got guys to see.
[Ajax laughing]
What guys?
I'm out there meeting people.
All right, and there
maybe some people
that I may like that
may hear the stupid shit
that you're spreading.
I still don't see
what the big problem is.
Cozi, you know how
I feel about you.
And judging from the
kiss the other day,
I'm pretty sure I know how
you feel about me to, so.
Wait a minute.
- What?
- Oh my god.
I wonder.
- You wonder what?
- I wonder if this little lie
that you're telling is getting
back to someone that I know.
You mean some of the other
guys that you have to see?
Why is this so funny?
Why can't I be out
there dating new guys?
Is not that you can't be
out there dating new guys,
is just that, I mean, come on.
Is not like you're just going
and get over me just so,
so stop it.
You think so?
Listen, Cozi, you
could say whatever it is
you have to say to yourself
so you could lie down
and sleep at night.
That's all right,
that no problem.
I don't care about all these
other guys that you seeing.
The only guy I care
about you seeing is me.
All right.
So, leh we go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, where
do you think we're going?
We going Redwoods
for wings and drinks.
You said the wings and
drinks was tasting good
so leh we go back.
So, just like that,
you walk in here
and I'm supposed to go with you?
Wha yuh have to lose?
I'll be in the car.
I hate him so much.
So, what yuh having to eat?
Cozi?
Yeah, oh, I don't know.
Who you macoing so?
I'm not staring.
Ah, okay.
Cozi, you are definitely
staring at somebody here.
Is one of your guys
here or something?
You know what.
Nevermind.
You know what, is all right.
If one of your guys
is here, I don't care.
I ain't care about he at all.
He could be whoever he
is or whatever he is,
if is one thing he's not is me.
So, let we have some
drink and food, please,
and everything will be as usual.
That's it.
Yeah okay.
So how did you like the food?
It's pretty good
if I say so myself.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Glad you liked it.
What I really enjoyed
the most was your company.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
I like that.
You know let's get out of
here and find some other place.
I know a real decent spot.
Yeah, um.
I like that too.
Yeah, let's do that.
Matter of fact, I got
all this covered already.
Let's get out of here.
Okay.
Damn, such a gentleman.
I try to be.
I try to be.
Sorry about the way I
behave at the restaurant.
I should'na said any
of the things I said.
You can't help it,
you're just being yourself.
I trying to get better.
I working on it every day.
I hear you.
So, what it is going
on with this man Blaze?
What kind of name is Blaze?
He's a wrestler,
he's a superhero?
Oh Blaze, I know
you not tripping.
- What?
- Why does it matter?
I just asking a question.
I cyah ask a question?
The man name Blaze,
is a funny name.
[Cozi] Just somebody
I'm talking to,
it's nothing really serious.
Yeah, well, it ain't look
like is serious for him either.
He already walking
around with somebody else
and is not even like she pretty.
- Right.
- Yeah.
I look better than
her on my worst day.
- Easy.
- That good.
So, are you serious?
When you said you wanted
to get back together
and that you missed me?
How many times you
have to ask me that?
As many times as it takes
for me to believe you.
Mm-hm.
- You miss me?
- You know I do.
- You miss me?
- Mm-hm.
[Cozi] You miss me?
[thudding]
[Cozi] Oh babe, I'm
so sorry, your phone.
[Ajax] No, no, forget
the damn phone, girl.
No, your screen
may have cracked.
Is the phone broken?
No, but you do have
a message from Drea.
Wait who?
She can't wait
to see you tonight
'cause she wants to feel you.
- Listen.
- Stop.
- I can explain.
- Yes, so can I.
You're still up to
your same bullshit.
No, no, I need you to leave.
Just get out.
- Cozi.
- For good this time.
Cozi, this woman doesn't
mean anything to me.
All right, I eh even know
the last time I talk to she.
I eh know why she texting me.
I told you, you are the
woman I want to be with.
I mean you know that.
Oh, stop, stop!
I don't want to be with you.
I'm not making
that mistake again.
So, please just get out
and don't ever come back.
I'm not dealing with this again.
This is it, I'm done.
And stop telling people that
we're getting back together
'cause that's never
happening again.
Don't say that, Cozi.
Can you please just go.
And never call me again.
[somber music]
I'm sorry.
[energetic music]
Aye man.
I can't lie, I love the
convenience of a gym
in your house.
How you gonna be working
out and eating damned chicken
at the same time, man?
I love it.
Hey man, don't hate
on my convenience.
I pump.
I eat.
I pump again.
I eat again.
It works.
For me.
What you doing, man?
Man, I'm trying to check out
these reviews on
this dating site.
Hopefully, I'll be
able to balance out
some of the negative comments,
you know what I'm saying.
Oh, so we lying now?
Hold up, ain't nobody lying.
I'm telling the truth.
You can find good people
on my dating site.
You just gonna have to
weed through the bad ones,
you know what I'm saying.
That's real, that's life.
Yeah man.
Enough about that, man.
What's up with you and Cozi?
Bro, do you know I
seen that girl, man?
She came up in my
spot with some dude
and I'm pretty damn sure
it was that Ajax cat
you was telling me about.
I told you, man.
You know I got your back.
I ain't just gonna
say anything, dog.
I told you, you
know I'm your dude.
Whatever man.
So, what's his story, man?
What you know about him?
I know Ajax for
about a year, man.
And if he with Cozi,
ptew-ptew, he with Cozi.
All right, that
man put up numbers.
Straight up.
That's crazy, man.
'Cause I was on a date myself.
Remember the girl I
was telling you about?
- Mm-hm.
- The little badie that I met
on my dating site.
I mean she was cool.
So, we was in there kicking
it, having a good time,
you know what I'm saying.
Drinking or whatever.
In walks Cozi with this
dude, up in my damn spot.
Can you believe that?
That whore.
Hey man, they always coming at
us like we the bad guys, man.
They worse that us, dog.
They cutthroat.
So, I know she saw me, right.
So, we in there kicking it.
I was being extra flirty,
extra touchy, huggy.
She was kissing on me.
And when we left,
I stared at her.
So, I know she pissed,
you know what I'm saying.
Mmm!
That's the old Blaze, man.
- Yeah?
- Nah.
[Rhett] You sure,
you look like you
shedding a tear over there, man?
You about to cry
over there, man?
Oh, so now I'm crying?
[Rhett] You mad?
Ain't nobody mad, man.
I got this shoulder right
here, man, if you need it.
You want this shoulder?
You know I know you
better than anybody,
you can have it Blaze.
I'm good, bro.
I'm good, speaking of shoulders,
looks like you need
to work on yours, man.
Do a set.
I got to get back
to the club, man.
I'm supposed to pick up
these new tables, man.
You could stay here, you
know what I'm saying.
You good, matter
of fact, get a set.
Lift some weights.
Do something.
Nah, I'd rather pick
up this chicken, though.
You got some more, right?
Upstairs, anymore?
I'll do that, man.
Rhett, eat as much
chicken as you want, man.
Mi casa, su casa.
Thank you.
You know what?
Real shit.
I'ma go ahead and keep it
real, I ain't gonna lie.
I am a little salty over
this whole Cozi situation.
You know what I mean?
I liked that girl.
Least I thought I did.
You know what I mean, but
after all this done happen,
you know what, ain't
nobody worried about it,
you know what I'm saying?
Exactly.
You know how many
girls I got on here
trying to hit me up?
[Rhett] How many
girls you got?
Too many.
That's the old
Blaze that I know.
Matter of fact, look.
Got a bae hitting
me up right now.
Man you!
Go out there and you do that.
I'm back, baby.
What you doing here?
Hi, I'm here to see Blaze.
Is he here?
He ain't here, bye!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.
Hold on, hold on.
Is he really not here or
are you just playing around?
Blaze is out handling
business right now.
You need to be knocking
on somebody else door,
ringing somebody else doorbell.
You know like Ajax?
Excuse me?
You heard me, woman.
Oh Ajax, okay.
I don't have time to
explain anything to you.
Any idea when he'll be back?
Why, you want to stay?
Wow.
Yeah, no.
I'll just call him
or stop by later.
Thanks.
I might put in a
good word for you.
[phone ringing]
Girlfriend, answer the phone.
[Lalah] Cozi, what
is going on with you?
Okay, first off, I have no
idea what I'm going to make
for the Valentine's Day
feature for my blog.
[Lalah] I need you
to take a deep breath,
take the night off.
Your fans are gonna understand.
But girl, what is really
going on with you?
Right, but Valentine's Day
is right around the corner
and, okay.
Full transparency
moment, friend.
[Lalah] Of course, friend.
I can't get him off my mind.
[Lalah] Who?
Not Ajax!
No, Blaze!
It's like I gotta find
him and tell him the truth
because I don't know
what else to do.
And then I saw him last
night with that woman
and I just felt, I just got...
[Lalah] Oh jealous, boo.
No, no, okay, yeah.
Yeah, I got jealous.
But I don't know why?
It's not like he's my man.
He's like a perfect
stranger to me still.
And then Ajax and all his
damned lies, like, oh!
I just got to fix it.
I'm gonna fix it and
I'm gonna go over there
and I'm gonna let
him know the truth.
I'ma tell him what happened.
[Lalah] Okay, hold up.
Go over where?
It's very stalkerish.
It is very stalkerish.
Okay, you know what?
You're right.
That does sound a bit that way,
but I'm not listening
to you, friend.
Not this time.
I love you but I
gotta follow my heart.
I really believe if I
just tell him the truth
that things will be okay.
So, as much as I appreciate,
yeah, no, no, as much as I
appreciate you telling me.
Okay, you know what, friend?
I love you so much,
friend, I gotta go.
I gotta go!
Friend, friend, oh
my God, I'm sorry!
The phone, the phone!
All right, I know what I need.
I just need a little
liquid courage.
Oh yeah.
Okay, okay, okay, all right.
Okay.
Ahh!
Ooh, okay.
All right.
[energetic music]
[doorbell ringing]
Hi.
What's up?
How are you?
Wasn't really expecting
to see you here.
I...
I know, I came by earlier
and your friend, Rhett,
said you weren't here, you went
to make a run or something.
Right.
I had to go and
handle some business.
Was it another
date or something?
Another date?
Really?
How was your other guy?
What's his name Ajax or
some damn thing like that?
- Okay.
- What the hell
kind of name is Ajax anyway?
- I deserve that.
- Ain't that dishwashing
detergent?
Can you at least here me out?
I really want to explain
everything thing to you.
You know what, yeah.
I was just gonna have a drink.
Come on, let's go
sit on the deck.
Hey.
Thank you for giving me
a minute to talk to you,
just to explain things.
Yeah.
But I wanted you
to know that you
got some untrue
information from Rhett.
Nah!
What's untrue about it.
He said he saw you all
together at the Redwood, right.
And I saw you all together
last night so I'm confused
about what's untrue about that.
Okay, okay.
Hear me.
Hear me.
Ajax is my ex.
Okay.
And he literally just
popped up out of nowhere,
the night of our date.
And I just needed
clarity, to be honest.
I mean, he's an ex, he
came back out of the blue,
and you know how it is, you
start feeling a certain way,
and then they do something
to make you believe
or remember why they're
the ex to begin with.
And we've all been there, right?
I mean, for me, he's my history.
Cool.
So, you all not together.
[Cozi] No, we
are not together.
Cool, we not together either.
I mean, yeah, we had a couple
first dates or whatever.
You can date whoever you
want to date, ai'ight.
It's not like we in a
relationship or nothing.
But I want to see you.
I don't want to go backwards,
I want to go forward.
I want to be with someone
who has a great heart,
who's a great person.
That's why I'm here
because I wanted to be able
to explain to you everything
'cause I felt like
we had something.
Yeah, I did feel that.
But when I saw you with
that other guy, man,
I don't know what I felt.
I felt confused, you
know what I'm saying.
And I felt the same way.
When I saw you with the girl
that really made me feel
like this is who
I want to be with.
This is who I want
to get to know.
This is who I want
to spend time with.
It wasn't a good
feeling and I'm so sorry
you had to feel that way.
It was just a
misunderstanding, I'm so sorry.
Ai'ight.
I mean you saying
all this [mumbles]
To be honest, yes, those
last couple days that we had,
they were great.
You the only thing I
been able to think about.
You know what I'm saying.
And I thought about it, yeah,
I want to see where we can go.
But, no, I gotta know
that this is real.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not trying to
do this by myself.
No.
I'm in it 100%.
I felt the same way too.
Blaze, I want to
get to know you.
I want to be with you.
Yeah.
Is that all right?
Can we get to know each other?
Come here.
Can we get to know each other?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
You're driving me crazy, man.
Wait a minute, come here.
- You cleaning me up?
- Yeah.
Damn.
Got a little me on you.
But hold on, hold
on, wait a minute.
What about this girl that
you were on a date with?
Here I am pouring out all
my feelings about my ex
and what happened and you're
being quiet over there.
So, what's up with that chic?
Because you made it very clear
that you were dating right now.
Yeah, I was dating.
But that was all because of
you. I went out with that girl.
Yeah, we kicked it.
She was cool.
You know what I mean,
and she was fine.
But she ain't my type.
I don't want to be with her.
I want to be with you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I want to be with you too.
Oh, oh my god, I'm so,
I gotta go.
No, I'm sorry, I have to get
the blog ready for tomorrow.
Wait, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
So, you really just
gonna get me all excited
and then leave?
Are you serious?
I'm sorry but
tomorrow's Valentine's Day
and I got to get the romantic
dinner up on the blog.
You know, the whole thing.
Wow.
Well, we can do that together.
All right.
I mean, I can help you cook.
We can make the food,
put the pictures up,
print out the recipe,
get it on your blog,
and then it'd be done.
Then we have more time
to spend, you know,
with each other.
You would do that?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, let's...
I would love that.
I would love that. I mean
we were supposed to spend
Valentine's Day
together anyway, right?
Right, 'cause you
remember we did have plans.
- We did have plans.
- For Valentine's Day right.
Yes.
Seems like someone is
going to be a guest chef
on my blog.
Oh, so you gonna
make me a guest chef?
- Absolutely.
- Wow.
Let me call my mama.
Let her know I finally made it.
- You made it.
- Yeah, I made it now.
But, yeah, we did have
plans on Valentine's Day.
You do know that, right?
Absolutely.
So, I guess
everything worked out.
[Cozi] Everything worked out.
Yeah.
Thanks for your [mumbles]
Let's go in the house.
Get started.
This time you can finally
take your jacket off.
You were so mad at me.
Yeah, I was mad.
Dear heavenly Father,
thank you for the blessings
you have placed upon us.
Thank you for blessing
me with the spirit
of this beautiful young lady.
And blessing us both on this
glorious Valentine's Day.
Amen.
Amen.
That was beautiful.
You're beautiful.
Thank you.
I have to say the roses
are really a great touch.
- You like those?
- I do.
See, I pay attention,
I had those specially
ordered for you.
Really?
I appreciate that.
Let me try this.
Mm.
We did good.
Baby, this is so good.
So, did you get enough pictures
and everything for your blog?
Mm.
I did.
But I'm gonna put
them up tomorrow
or later tonight or something
'cause I really want to enjoy
my Valentine's Day.
Good, 'cause this is my time.
- Yes.
- You know what I'm saying,
and I want every second of it.
Absolutely.
No sharing.
You gotta make up
for lost time, you
know what I mean.
- That I do.
- Mm-hm.
Mm, you never told me
what you do for a living.
I know you own
businesses or something,
but I don't know
exactly what you do.
You sure I didn't
tell you about that?
Okay.
Might as well come
clean now, right.
[Cozi] Please.
I'm a drug dealer, baby.
Really?
Oh, time to go!
- You didn't believe me?
- No.
I thought girls
like dope boys.
[Cozi] Not this one.
But, honestly, you ever
hear of a dating site
called blazedates.com?
Wait a minute.
[Cozi coughs]
Okay.
You own blazedates.com.
Wow.
Oh my god.
You're the Blaze
in blazedates.com.
Wow.
Oh my god, yeah.
How did I not put that together?
I don't know.
Blaze Maddox, blazedates.com.
Yeah, but I didn't
know you owned it.
Oh my goodness.
So, you wanna give that
review now on your blog or what?
Sure.
Well, I got a good
review for it, for sure.
[Blaze] Hook me up.
Is there anything else
you wanna share with me
that you have been keeping
from me that's top secret?
You ever been to a
bar called the Redwood?
Oh, stop it!
Shut up!
You own the Redwood too?
[Blaze] Yah.
How did I not know that?
My god.
Seems that everybody
else knows that except you.
Wow, you're good.
You're really good.
Okay, is that it?
There's more.
No, I promise.
No more secrets.
No more secrets.
- That's it.
- That's it?
- Ever.
- Ever.
But I need you to
keep this a secret,
don't tell everybody.
I'm tryna stay under the radar
with the Blaze Dates thing.
All right.
Your secret is safe with me.
My god.
Too funny.
Oh please let me.
To Redwood and their
fire-ass wings.
I told you they were good.
No, to blazedates.com
and helping us find true love.
To Blaze Dates.
Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
Happy Valentine's Day.
This is better
than Redwood's wings.
Oh absolutely.
'Cause we did it.
Hey.
I appreciate it.
[Blaze] You're
making me smile.
Eat your chicken, girl.
[upbeat music]
Happy Valentine's
Day, everybody.
It's your boy, Raz, and
I'm here to give you
a third and final review
on blazedates.com.
And, um.
Boom!
I done find me a little queen!
Aye!
I got to say third time is the...
No, we are not
going to do that!
My bad, my bad, babe.
But I gotta say, man, you guys
you can see that me and her
met on this wonderful
app called blazedates.com
and I gotta say I'm a lucky man.
No, I'm a lucky woman.
Yeah, go ahead
with your fine self.
But we got a date tonight,
man, so everybody,
hold on, let me get that booty.
Show that booty, baby.
Aye, come on!
Aye, aye, happy Valentine's Day.
Your boy's out
here in the street.
- Let's go!
- Ai'ight, ai'ight, baby.
[energetic music]
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
All around town people
trying to get down
Man, it's beautiful out here.
Ah!
- What's happening, big homie?
- What the hell
you doing, man?
It's a beautiful day,
man, like you said.
So, I decided to come out here.
Man, you know, check out
some of these reviews
on my site, man, blazedates.com.
You know what I'm saying?
Ah, the dating website.
Right, right, right.
It's been doing its thing,
so I'm just trying
to see what's up.
I see you, though.
What you see?
You fresh out the gym.
You got the wife-beater
on, muscles popping.
I see you, bro.
Trying to get like
you, man, you know.
Trying to look good
in a wife-beater.
You know, this is
ai'ight, right now.
I see, well, first off,
you're not supposed to eat
a big bowl of Cheetos after
you leave the gym, man.
Your Cheetos is
stale, by the way.
Oh wait, hold on,
hold on. Okay, look.
I stumbled across
this dude, man.
He's a social media guy,
like got all these followers.
I heard he left me
comments and reviews
so let's see what he
talking about, man.
Yo, yo, yo, what's up?
This is your boy, Raz, and
I'm here to give you a review
on blazedates.com
and I have to say,
that shit is wack.
It is the worst dating
site you can ever be on.
You see I was supposed
to go on a date
with this girl name Joy, right.
Um, one second.
Lovely, right?
Oh Joy.
She was not a joy to look at.
She was bald, 400
pounds, man features,
on the dinner table talking
about what you gonna get me.
An uber!
What you think?
I'm not dating you,
Nutty Professor.
So, look, if you want
to date fake people,
go ahead, be my guest.
But me, I can't.
I'm gonna stick to
the old-fashioned way
and go to the club or
slide in somebody's DM.
But I'm not doing this app.
This blazedates.com,
shit is trash!
Trash!
Trash!
Trash!
- Ha!
- Yo man, what the hell
was that, man?
I like him.
He's funny.
To me, he's a hater.
Aye, man, according to
him, your website's trash.
- Bro.
- Trash.
Trash!
Come on, chill out, man!
[quirky music]
Two, four, five,
seven, nine, 12.
So, how many cookies am
I taking home with me?
None of these
cookies are for you.
Every time you make these
cookies, you know I get half,
like a divorce.
Not today.
So, how was last night?
Perfect.
I mean, he might
not be the one, one.
But he can definitely
take me out again.
And again.
[Both] And again.
Like your many other men.
The problem is?
Oh, you don't have a problem,
I don't have a problem.
No, I don't.
I mean, don't you
think it's time for you
to like get back out there?
Get on that pony
and ride?
I have no idea why the things
that come out of your mouth
still surprises me.
I don't know either.
How long has it been since
you and Ajax broke up?
It's been six months and
three days and 17 minutes.
It's been a lil' time.
Okay.
Since you've been on a date?
Since she's been on a date?
It is not a crime.
Some people are okay
with being single.
- I'm not.
- Oh, I know.
But I'm trying something new.
You should try a new man.
You know how hard it
is to find a decent man?
They're either married or
trifling or I don't know.
No, I'm good.
What you should
try is online dating.
You want me to
put a profile up
and click a picture and
be like, I like you.
- Yes!
- No!
That's weird.
No it's not.
You know my homegirl
down at the bank, Nisha,
with the big butt?
- Right.
- Right.
So, she went on this
website blazedates.com.
She met her a complete man,
has a wonderful career.
He is cute.
A very decent 401K,
I'm just saying.
You know, I don't want to
put the brother business
out there, but it's decent.
Wait, Nisha's man?
- Yes.
- So, she met him on Blaze?
Yes.
Wait, what's his name?
Marcus.
[Cozi] Wow.
Oh my god, Marcus.
A regular name, not
something stupid like Ajax.
I mean isn't that
what you like clean
the tub with or
something like that?
Okay, yes.
Well, I'll think about
this blazedates.com,
whatever, I don't know,
I'll think about it.
- You really should.
- It's just weird.
It is the wave.
Cozi, seriously,
I'm gonna tell you,
I didn't want to
tell nobody else,
Aisha and Steph
Curry, online dating.
No, they didn't.
Okay.
Barack and Michelle,
online dating.
Stop.
T.I. and Tiny,
bitch, online dating.
Maybe so.
I'm just saying.
Just try it.
What's the worst
that can happen?
Let it go.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I'm just letting you know.
When you find
one, you tell me.
[Lalah] I will tell you
because you know my memory
is like what animal?
- An elephant.
- Exactly!
So, can a sis get more
than just some cookies?
Can I have like a full entree?
How do you always
come here ready to eat?
I'm doing cookies
today for the blog.
I'm not cooking for you.
'Cause my best friend cooks.
'Cause my best friend-NN.
She can cook.
Yup.
- Hello.
- There you go.
- Well, this is drink.
- Eat that.
There you go.
So, can we just have a
little toast to blazedates.com?
[Cozi] To Blaze Dates.
- Dot com.
- Dot com.
Thank you.
Ooh, still get me right there.
Mm, that's good.
Go ahead, check the
cookies, I'm hungry too.
Those cookies are not ready.
They are, I can,
I can smell it, they ready.
They told me, they was like...
[Cozi] These are for you.
I actually made these for you.
That's why you my girl.
You knew you better make me
more cookies on the side.
I'm still gonna eat those,
but I'm gonna eat those too.
Thank you very
much, appreciate it.
[energetic music]
Aye man, I know I'm not
watching you make a profile
on your own dating website.
I know that's not what's
happening right now.
No, no, no.
I just need to prove that
my dating site is good
because I know that it's good.
It's just people tripping
with these comments,
these reviews, man.
You worried about
comments on the Internet?
Bro, look at me, man.
Look at your hairline.
Well, you can't look at it,
but look at my hairline.
Look at this part.
Bro, we are crafted to
perfection, all right.
We don't need no Internet
to get girls, man.
No disrespect to your
site, I'm just saying.
That's the point, fool.
I know we don't need it.
It's not for us.
But some people who
really need this stuff
to make a love connection,
you know what I'm saying.
So, I'm gonna make the
profile, prove that it works.
Then I'll be able to
call these people out
on their bullshit, you
know what I'm saying.
Look, made a profile, that easy.
Done.
Okay, that plan sucks.
And your username is B-red?
That's whack.
That's what we going with?
I can't use my real
name, man, come on.
So, they don't have a
picture of you on your site?
Nope, they don't
know what I look like.
So look, once I put
these pictures up,
it's gonna get real.
Yeah, I feel you.
I feel you.
No, it's still weak.
Don't do that.
That's whack.
And I'm not wasting a haircut
in here with you, all right.
I'm going to be out there, okay.
But on a serious note,
you know I'm going
through troubling times.
I really appreciate you,
you know, I'm going through
with my baby mom,
my water's cut off,
still got a turd
flip in the toilet.
And I appreciate it,
man, I really do.
How much do I owe you, man?
You good, man,
don't even worry.
Say it again.
[Blaze] Don't even
worry about it, bro.
I ain't got to pay you
back, ball and Blaze?
Ball and Blaze, I ain't
got to pay you back?
I got you when I get my
cheque. I'm out, man.
Hit me up.
Let me know if your shower
works when you get home.
This is gonna be dope.
Mm.
Blazedates.com, huh?
Maybe it's time I find
someone to hang out with?
Can't be alone forever.
Right, let's see.
Men seeking women.
Mm.
Don't count the days,
make the days count.
Here goes.
[quirky music]
Wow.
These girls are nice.
Okay.
All right.
Business owner.
Loves to cook.
No kids.
Very important.
Very interesting, Mr. Blaze.
Very interesting.
This girl is cute.
Loves to cook.
Runs her own food blog.
Okay, nice.
No children.
I'm gonna hit this girl up.
Yeah, she's bad.
Mm.
[cellphone dinging]
It's him.
Okay.
Think I'm gonna
message him back.
[message dinging]
[cellphone ringing]
Mm.
Hey mom.
No, I'm like two minutes
away from walking out
to come get you.
Mm-mm.
I did not forget
about the appointment.
Of course not.
Okay.
I'll see you in a bit.
Love you.
Mm.
[message dinging]
Hey girl, thank you
for letting me borrow
these beautiful earrings
for my date tonight.
Oh yeah, no problem.
You know it's for a date
I'm going on with the CEO?
Where do you find these guys?
Oh everywhere.
Have fun.
[keyboard clacking]
What you doing over there?
Just browsing.
Looks like a few
things over there.
What you browsing for?
These men look good.
Right, and I think I
found an interesting one.
Okay.
So, check it, he's
an entrepreneur.
No kids.
[Both] Jackpot.
Exactly.
We were messaging
earlier this morning.
I'm trying to see
if he's online.
I mean nothing really
is popping off,
but, you know, it's interesting.
You never know.
Oh, so just send him some
sexy pictures like mm, ah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
but he's a stranger.
I don't know him.
That's how you get chose
out. That's how you get bagged.
So, you want me to send
pictures of my tits and ass
to a random guy?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh no thank you.
I don't want to be
chosen like that.
Okay.
So, you can do it
your librarian way,
but it's okay if you want
to live a little, Cozi.
It's okay.
No, I like being a librarian.
Okay, so it looks like you
probably may have found someone
to share those boring
Saturday nights with.
Sounds like a plan.
- Okay.
- Two brain peas in a pod.
Good luck.
But, for me, I will be
going on my date tonight
with a CEO.
I will talk to you later.
Bye, have fun.
Lock up.
[Lalah] Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
[message dinging]
[quirky music]
[Cozi laughing]
Rough night?
What happened to you?
Long date.
I got two hours of sleep.
Well, why are you here?
Oh, to give you back
these earrings, girl.
Thank you so much.
Oh, boy, feels so
good on my ear.
Here you go.
You ain't come to
give me these earrings.
Well, I was here
to check on you.
I want to see how
my friend was doing.
Okay.
I was being nosy and I
wanted to see what was up
with that guy from last night.
There we go, there we go.
The truth comes out.
Well, we have been messaging
each other all night.
Ooh.
So, you got his number, huh?
[Cozi] Yep, he gave it to me.
Okay, so you gonna call him?
What the hell you waiting for?
No, that's gonna
be like way too fast.
It's 2019, you better move!
This is not the '50s, girl.
'Cause if you don't,
some Insta-thot
gonna grab him right up.
And you not gonna have no
date for the Valentine's Day.
And you won't be
chilling with me
because I will be with a man.
Oh, I don't want to be with
you on Valentine's Day anyway.
- Perfect.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- But I don't know
about this online dating thing.
It makes me a little wary.
I mean, what if he's crazy?
No, I got your back.
I'll go with you.
Like a chaperone?
No.
Yeah.
A little bit.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I'll be there.
I'm gonna check him out first,
make sure he's not crazy,
but if he is crazy,
I'm gonna beat his ass.
That's true, I like that.
That sounds easy enough, okay.
So, you would do this, right?
Yes, I do it all the time.
Okay.
All right.
I'ma just text him.
[Lalah] Go ahead.
All right.
Okay, so what you gonna
say? 'Cause I know you corny.
- Ah, I know what I'ma say!
- Okay, hit it.
I'ma start with,
Hello!
- That's corny, that's corny!
- Wait, I sent it!
- Its on there!
- Give me the phone!
Give me the phone,
give me the phone.
Give me the phone! I don't
want to give you the phone.
Watch a master.
[clears throat]
Hey handsome.
Ooh, okay.
Heart eyes, heart eyes.
Okay, okay, that's
enough hearts.
- Eggplant.
- Ooh, uh-uh!
- Eggplant!
- No, delete the eggplant!
- All right, I'll go back.
- Delete the eggplant!
All right, I'm deleting it.
Would like to see you
in person soon, send.
Bam, there you go!
- Oooh!
- I know!
[Cozi] Oh my God!
What if he doesn't text me back?
Girl, he gonna text you back.
He thirsty, just like you.
I'm not thirsty.
Oh, you definitely thirsty.
But that's fine.
Ooh, do you have something
for this headache?
Can't take it in here.
So bright.
My god.
Mmh-mmh-mmh.
[energetic music]
[cellphone buzzing]
[Cozi] Still no response?
Girl, I don't know
your phone like that.
Nothing.
You see I told you that
wasn't the right move to make.
That was too soon
sending that message.
Oh my god, he is just
playing hard to get.
He is thirsty just like you.
He is going to hit you back.
I'm telling you.
Anyway, I need to
focus on business.
I have, I need to come up
with an interesting recipe
for the blog.
Like a cool dessert
for Valentine's Day
or something, you know.
Cookies.
- Yeah, I could do cookies.
- You make good cookies, girl.
[cellphone dinging]
Oh wait, what is this?
He just texted me.
[Lalah] I told you.
He said, yes, I
would love to meet you.
And, oh wait,
there's another one.
Meet me at Redwood and we
can have a drink or two
with a little food.
Mm!
I told you!
He thirsty just like you!
- Nobody thirsty.
- I'm just saying.
Whatever.
You excited?
You pumped, okay.
I know, I know.
Well, it's my first time.
I didn't know and
I was like, uh.
It's not your first time.
On an online
dating thing, yes.
He could have been
crazy or creepy
and I'm like actually excited.
That's a little weird.
It's not, it's normal.
Everybody's doing it.
All right, well.
Okay, so we gotta focus.
I need a recipe.
Okay, so what's a good like
dessert for Valentine's Day?
I don't know, but it
should have eggplant.
You know what.
No, you and them damn eggplants.
- Sorry.
- I'm thinking like red
or pink hearts.
Like, okay.
A red...
Don't do it.
Aye Blaze, who am I supposed
to be, yo? Look, hey Blaze.
It's me.
I'll give you a hint.
I'm ugly.
That girl was not ugly, man.
She don't look like that.
- Whatever man.
- And why you always
eating my food, man?
[cellphone dinging]
It's delicious.
Ooh, ooh, I told you.
My plan was gonna work.
Look, I got a badie already
on deck from the dating site.
No, you don't, you
lying. Let me see.
Nah-uh. I don't even
want to show you yet
'cause I don't want
you to jinx it.
You know what I'm saying,
we've just been texting
a little bit back and forth.
Ain't nothing official,
so if it don't work out,
I don't want to hear
your mouth, man.
Oh she must be bad.
Or it's another ugly girl.
Trust me, this girl
is definitely bad.
Oh, it's like that.
Mm-hm.
What she do?
Let me see.
On her profile, it says
she runs a food blog.
That ain't no job.
She sell Fit Tea too?
Son, you got you an IG thot.
Oh my god, this girl
is not an IG thot, Rhett,
or whatever the hell that is.
We text a couple times
back and forth, man.
Seems like she
got a little class
and she's already agreed to
meet up with me at the Redwood
in a few days, so.
For real?
That's kinda quick, man.
I'm about to join your website,
sound like it's
working out for you.
It does work, I tried to
make you a profile, bruh.
Told you.
Dating site works, man.
[Rhett] So, you gonna
meet this girl or what?
Hell yeah, I'ma meet
up with this girl.
I mean I came up with this
plan for different reasons
but, at the same time,
it's good 'cause I get to,
you know, get out there with
this dating thing again.
Since that ugly
girl broke your heart.
So devastating.
- Yeah, Rhett, she dumped me.
- Tragic.
- She broke my heart.
- Mm-hm.
But you know how
I'ma make up for it?
By texting this badie.
How's your day?
Oh man, you sound soft.
It's not the Blaze that I know.
Who are you?
This is not the
Blaze I once knew.
We used to be warriors.
It's gonna be dope.
[energetic music]
Hi.
Hey.
Wow.
You look amazing.
Thank you.
You look quite
handsome yourself.
Wow, thank you.
Yes, I am a gentleman.
Yeah, chivalry is not dead.
Chivalry is not dead.
Now that you finally
here, how about we get
the night started with
a couple of drinks?
- Okay, I'd like that.
- What is Miss Cozi drinking?
Let's do a Vodka martini?
Vodka martini, good choice.
Two Vodka martinis please.
I'm glad you finally made it.
Me too.
I must say I am really
having a good time.
My friends and I come
here all the time.
We love the wings and, of
course, the food's always good.
Well, I feel the same way.
Wings are definitely fire.
But yeah, I had a real
good time tonight too.
I think we should do
this against, asap.
I mean, if that's cool with you.
Oh yeah.
That's cool with me.
I'm thinking maybe you
can cook for me next time,
I mean, since you like to cook.
Oh, so now I'm
cooking for you?
I mean, we can
test those skills.
What you think?
But aren't you the lady who
runs her own food blog, right?
I do, that I do.
So, maybe next
time we'll make it
a competitive cooking challenge?
I mean, if you're up
for it, of course.
I don't have no
problem with that
as long as you're
okay with losing.
Oh, I don't have a problem
winning at all, yeah.
Extra confident now.
Okay.
But no, seriously, I
had a real good time.
Me too.
You have my number, I
want you to call me asap
so we can do this again.
I think I will, Mr Blaze.
Real soon.
Miss Cozi.
[man whistles]
[Cozi] Ajax?
Cozi, what going on darlin'?
What the hell
are you doing here?
I was waiting on you.
Yuh looking like a snack there,
like a little doubles
with slight pepper, eh?
Yuh was waiting on me too?
Don't flatter yourself.
What do you want?
Leh we go inside and
catch up a little bit, nah?
[Cozi] No, good night.
[Ajax] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on, hold on.
You seriously not going
to talk to me at all?
Exactly.
Good night, Ajax.
[quirky music]
What the hell does he want?
Mm, I see you.
- What?
- Why you smiling
so hard, man?
I know you had that
date last night.
How was the ass?
Was it fat?
How was the titties?
Did you smash?
You eat all my damned food
and you asking me
all these questions?
You sounding like Inspector
Gadget right now, man.
You act like you the one
that's dating the girl.
What's up?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I just want to make
sure you held it down
for us.
Okay, well, yes Rhett,
the date was awesome.
Yes Rhett, she's a badie.
With a fattie.
But it's not even about
that with this girl, man.
All right.
She's different.
I mean, her personality
is crazy, man.
Her energy, man...
Yo, did you smash or not?
That's all I wanna know.
Really?
Dirty dog, you act like
you out here smashing girls
on the first date.
It was the first date, man.
Yeah, I do smash
on the first date.
All the time.
For real?
[Rhett] Yeah
man, all the time.
Wow.
Well, no, dude.
It's not even about
that with this girl,
you know what I'm saying.
I actually like her, man.
I'm telling you, she's a lady.
She's a woman, I can tell.
She's not like
these other girls.
Like I actually want to have
more conversations with her,
you know what I'm saying.
And I get to prove that
my site actually works.
You know, 'cause I got
her from my dating site.
I get to shut the haters
down at the same time.
You feel me.
Okay.
Eh, yeah.
I get it.
So, why you being
so secretive, man?
Let me see a pic.
I'm yay-one, day-one.
So, what's up, where it at?
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
I'ma show you,
not too soon, man.
Uh-uh, I don't want to jinx
it like you did last time.
Remember?
[Rhett] Mm, that
was an accident.
Right, accident.
All I'm saying is, man,
I don't really want to sound
like a duck or nothing,
but this girl might
be the one, man.
Oh yeah, you definitely
sound like a duck.
You got some more sandwich meat?
I'ma about to go
make a sandwich, man.
Yeah man, go get
some of my lunch meat
and make you a sandwich.
What the hell is he up to?
I just can't figure
this guy out.
I don't know.
[quirky music]
Thank you.
I really appreciate you
letting me come and talk to you
face to face.
Am, I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry.
And I miss you real, real bad.
Okay, Ajax, why
are you really here?
To talk to you
about my relationship.
Are you serious?
So, you pop up over
here last night
and then come back again this
morning unannounced, mind you,
to talk about the new
chic you're dating?
Wow, you have some nerve.
No, no, no, it's
not that easy.
I'm not exactly seeing
her anymore, so.
Really?
So, did she dump you
for someone better?
That's funny?
Mm, oh that is hilarious.
That is beautiful
karma, wouldn't you say?
Yeah something is what it is.
Well, I'm not
going to sit here
and talk about your
relationship drama, so.
Then hear this.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake by leaving you.
I should ah never
gone back with she.
I mean that is
meh ex-girlfriend.
It wasn't right then
and it's not right now.
You are the only woman that
I've ever been happy with.
For true.
I don't know what to say.
Is all right, yuh eh
have to say nothing now.
I just telling yuh.
I asking you for another chance.
A chance to make things right
and to be the man you deserve.
Yuh eh have to say nothing now,
just think about it.
I gone and work and then
maybe we could talk later
after you had some
time to think.
Ent?
Ent?
Yeah.
Sure.
I'll talk to you later.
Thanks for the coffee.
Mm.
[gentle music]
All right.
Aren't they beautiful?
Oh!
Voila!
What are these?
Homemade chicken pot pie.
This was a
good recipe to put on the blog
and everybody can share
it and it's perfect.
Ah!
Do you smell that?
They smell.
So, next time can
you make some soup?
You know, something
that I can consume.
Okay, well, this
isn't for you.
This is for the blog.
Okay.
- Okay.
- And you can try it later,
but, right now, let 'em cool.
God, it looks so good.
Yeah, the senior
citizens gonna love those.
They gonna be like, chu-chu-chu.
Whatever.
So, ma'am, how was
the date last night?
Oh, hmm.
It was really good.
So, we laughed, we
talked, we drank.
We set up for a second date.
- Okay.
- I know!
And he really likes
cooking as well.
So, he is going to cook
for our second date.
Nice.
So, are you gonna be
the dinner that he eats?
See, that's too much.
Yep, bring that back.
Yep, nope, mm-mm.
- I'm happy.
- Thank you.
- That you're finally dating.
- Yes.
- Getting out there.
- I know.
You know, he could be the one.
Or the next one
could be the one,
but the one is what coming.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe?
Best friend, what are
you not telling me?
Okay, Ajax came
over last night.
- Damn.
- Mm, I know.
I know and I turned him away.
I kicked him out and then
he came back this morning.
Let me go in my mind,
my mind, my mind, my mind.
He dumped you, right?
I dumped him.
No ma'am, he dumped you.
You don't remember?
When that lady posted
that picture of them
on the beach in Trinidad?
- Yes.
- You remember that?
- Mm-hm, thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah, and he said he
was sorry for walking away
and he made a mistake.
For walking down the beach.
That's fine.
A mistake or was it a choice?
Well, after he said
what he said, he left,
and transparency?
It felt good.
Like I started thinking
about what he was saying
and it felt good to
hear him say those words
that just, it
brought back feelings
I didn't know were there.
I get it, he apologized.
And I know he fine.
He got that accent.
- Right.
- He's like a tall
glass of like
chocolate, caramel...
His body.
[Both] His body.
Right.
But don't forget that Wednesday
when that lady posted that
picture and your girl found it,
of the two of them hugged
up, everybody seen it,
even my little brother was
like, ain't that your friend?
Oh my god he with that
big-butt girl in Trinidad
on the beach.
We remember, friend.
And then everybody
down at the bar knew.
Right.
And then everybody
at the bank.
- Okay, I got it.
- They knew too.
I remember.
And I will never forget.
And I know you will
never let me forget.
- 'Cause I'ma elephant.
- Right, I know.
- Thank you for that.
- I'ma elephant.
I got it.
Okay.
- I got it.
- Never forget.
I know!
So, as long as
you don't forget...
I got it.
Of course, I would
never forget that.
He hurt me, I know.
'Cause your girl was here,
solid as a rock here.
- But I just...
- Right here.
I can't help feeling
a little curious.
I'm wondering what he's up to,
like what, I don't know. I
don't even know how I feel.
Why?
Why do you need to
know what is he up to?
We have history.
History is what?
Old news.
It's easier said than done.
Yes, I know, I
want to walk away.
I want to let it go, I
want to not think about it.
But when he was here in
my face saying all that,
it just, I don't know.
It just made me feel a way.
Some type of way.
Can I please have some
wine 'cause I'm feeling
some kinda way.
I'm stressed.
These are ugly, can I...
They're cute, I'm sorry.
Thank you!
They're just not for me.
So hungry though.
- Let me get you some wine.
- Please.
- To bring that down.
- 'Cause you already know
I need that.
Yes, thank you.
Thank you, boo.
Well, that's what friends do.
Yes, friend.
And I will like a tall glass.
Thanks.
Certainly, anything else
you like?
No, I'm just gonna check out
these pictures.
- Yeah.
- What's up, bro?
- Padna, what going on?
- How you doing, man?
I cyar complain, daddy.
What the hell are you
doing around here, man?
I have been anywhere
that involves making money
is what I'm doing.
Makes sense.
Everything good?
I can't complain, man,
I can't complain at all.
You still with Tasha?
No, no, no, that is old news.
She was a little
on the clingy side.
Actually, ah waiting
on my new gyul here.
Well, she is not meh gyul
yet, but we wukkin' on it.
You know what I mean?
Okay, I got you.
You know in due time.
I actually meeting her here.
- Right now?
- Yeah boy.
Oh, you staying
with a bad one.
Hello darlin'.
[Cozi] Hi.
Cozi meet my dear
friend Rhett Thorne.
Rhett, this is my lady Cozi.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- Taught you well.
- Thank you, I appreciate it.
- She bad, brother.
- I agree.
Yuh could stop
shaking she hand now.
- My bad.
- Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
Hey man, you all, you know.
Mm-hm, right.
Yeah, yeah, love you too.
Go on about your
business, please.
[Ajax laughs]
What wrong with de face?
What's up with calling
me baby and the kiss?
I'm not your lady.
You're not my lady yet,
but you did decide to come
and ask me here for lunch.
To talk, I
invited you to talk.
The last time I saw
you, you got all deep
about making a mistake and
I need you to explain that.
Explain.
That need an explanation.
Stop it, come, leh
we get a drink.
Um, miss.
Uh, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I need a little clarity here.
So is it that you don't
want to be by yourself?
You don't want to be alone?
I mean, what is it?
Were you just lying yesterday?
I need information.
I was an ass.
Okay?
That you were.
All right, that's
not up for debate.
Previously, I was an ass.
But I do know that I miss you.
I know how I feel about you.
And I know that my relationship
with my ex-girlfriend
is deader than a doorknob.
And I'm just asking for a
chance to start over with you.
Would you?
- Just like that?
- No, not just like that.
I mean, we could have
lunch first and then dinner
and then maybe, you know?
[Cozi] That's not cute.
I'm not having dinner with you.
I already have plans for dinner.
Well, that's all right.
I ain't worried
about tomorrow night.
It could be another night,
I'm on your schedule.
As long as you're
willing, I good.
We'll see.
I guess I can have
lunch, I mean I am here.
Oh, that's my girl.
I mean a girl gotta eat.
You ain't never lied.
Bartender, lady, please.
The usual?
Sure.
Two Johnny Walker Blacks.
Thank you.
Coming right up.
We're not friends.
That's not true.
Don't speak in opposites.
No, we're not friends.
So, yuh enjoy lunch?
I enjoyed the food.
And the company?
It was all right.
Is all right, is all right,
yuh eh have to say nuttin.
I know yuh enjoy yourself.
I know you, Cozi.
You do know me.
And you know I'm not
about these games, Ajax.
Who playing games?
I ain't playing games.
Cozi, my feelings
for you are honest.
Yuh understand?
Maybe we could do
something another day?
I'll think about it.
All right.
Hey!
I guess we can do
something Saturday.
I'll text you.
Dat sounding good.
That was fast too.
I hate him so much.
Ah!
What am I doing?
God.
Wow.
I'm excited.
You should be.
I told you.
I told you, I told you.
You gotta trust me.
Well, it seems as if you
can throw down in the kitchen.
This is just one of
my chicken dishes, girl.
Wait 'til I make you some steak.
Then you really gonna
fall in love with me.
Oh wow.
Okay, well, let's see.
Wow.
That's really good.
I taste the nutmeg, I
taste the brown sugar.
Organic butter.
Organic butter.
Wow.
Okay.
I would even feature
this on my food blog.
That's how good this is.
For real?
[Cozi] Yeah.
That's dope.
You got me here feeling
like I'm a real chef.
The shoe fits.
It's good.
Okay.
Without trying to sound
too much like a cliche,
I have to say something so
just bear with me for a second.
What?
I don't really go to guys'
houses that I barely know
on the first date for dinner.
Like I'm just not that girl.
I just had to say that.
Okay.
So, what changed?
What's so different?
I feel very comfortable
being around you.
And I don't get the creeper
vibe, so there's that.
Creeper vibes?
I don't even know
how to accept that.
That's not a compliment.
Creeper vibes, well, whatever.
I'll take it right now.
Oh, but I do have my
pepper spray in the bag,
just in case.
[Blaze] Pepper spray, for me?
In the bag right now?
And hot sauce
and some seasoning.
I just, you know, I wanted
to be able to eat the food
and I just didn't know.
Wow.
I better be on my
best behavior then.
[Cozi] As you should.
But, no, honestly, you
would never have to worry
about anything from me.
I got sisters and I would
never want anyone to hurt
or disrespect them.
So, I always make sure I'm
respectful to the females.
Nice.
Plus, I'm a
gentleman, you know.
Still a few of us
still out here.
Wow, chivalry isn't dead.
Like on an online dating site?
Why, what's wrong with that?
I don't know,
it's my first time,
so I'm not really
an online dater.
You know?
I can understand that, but
you know what I'm saying,
it's 2019, things have
changed and people are looking
for love anywhere
they can find it,
so I'm willing to give
it a try, you know.
So, what about you?
What do you think about the
site, you know what I'm saying?
Meet anybody else, anymore
match-ups, hook-ups?
You got anymore dates lined up?
Wow, look at you.
Somebody's fishing for info.
- Oh, I'm fishing?
- Yeah.
Okay, you got me.
Yeah, I'm plotting a little bit.
Well, it's my first time
being online on any site.
This is my first online date.
You were my first online
candidate, if you will.
I don't know, you're my first
in everything in all of this.
You're the lucky first.
Okay, well, I'm
glad to be your first.
Hopefully, I'll be
your last, right?
Time will tell.
Right.
So, blazedates.com.
You like it?
It's cool?
So far, so good, you know.
I don't have anything
to compare it to,
so there's that.
What about you?
Is this your first online date
or are you the serial dater
like this is your thing?
Okay, first I'm a creeper,
now I'm a serial dater?
You just coming with all of it.
Yes, yes, that is my thing.
I lure pretty girls
like you to my house.
Cook 'em elaborate dinners.
That's my MO, okay.
That's very specific.
Let me stop playing with you.
But no, honestly, this
is my first time as well.
I just want to try
something new, you know,
switch it up a little bit.
- Yeah.
- I'm glad I did
because I found you.
I agree.
But I have to thank
my best friend.
She really twisted my arm
to set up an online profile.
She also gave me this
dress to wear tonight.
Okay, your best friend.
[Cozi] And I
wouldn't have met you.
Sounds like I need to
send her a thank you card.
[Cozi] Sounds like it.
[Blaze] She gonna be
the reason we get married.
Oh gosh, you don't
want to hear that speech.
But no, I was thinking,
you know what I mean,
since you like the site so much
maybe you can give a review
on yours on the blog?
Tell all your readers and
viewers about it, you know?
I mean, it's just a thought.
Maybe I could.
But you know what
I was thinking?
That next time I
should cook for you.
Oh okay.
So, I've earned a second
date, that's what you saying?
I guess you have.
Look who's plotting now.
[Cozi] Maybe a little bit.
So, what's up?
I'm with it.
You free tomorrow,
let's do this.
Well, tomorrow,
I'm not available.
We have a girl's
night planned, so.
Oh my god, girl's night.
I already know how that goes.
It's good, I ain't tripping.
I know you're a busy
girl or whatever.
So, what about next week?
Valentine's Day?
You gonna be free?
So, wait, you want to
hang out on Valentine's Day?
So, why you looking at
me like I'm a weirdo now?
No, actually, I'm not.
I...
I can't stop smiling,
actually, so.
Listen to me.
I'm not really trying to sound
like a weirdo or anything,
but I'm not doing
anything Valentine's Day.
And, if you don't have any plans
and you're not doing anything,
I would really like to spend
my Valentine's Day with you.
If that's okay?
I like that.
I think we can definitely
make that happen.
Good.
Sounds like Miss Cozi is
gonna be my valentine.
It looks that way, yes.
Speaking of Cozi, I've
been meaning to ask you this,
I'm sorry, your name,
it's very unique.
I've never heard
anything like it.
I mean is it short
for something else?
Yes, so my full
name is Cozette Newton
and Cozi came from my mom.
So, when I was a baby she
would wrap me up in a blanket
and she would say, you're
just so cozy, you're so cozy.
And the nickname
just kinda stuck.
So, I'm lovable, huggable Cozi.
Cute.
Okay.
Sounds like I'm gonna
be getting a lot of hugs
in the future.
Yeah, you play your cards
right, you definitely will.
Okay, but what about you?
Because when I first
saw your name online,
I thought about an
American gladiator.
I don't know, just Blaze!
I don't know.
Oh my god.
You just don't know how much
I got teased about my name
when I was little, man.
I've heard it all,
but it's the same way.
My mom wanted me to be unique.
She wanted me to stand out.
So, that's why she
gave me this name.
You never forget it
when you hear it.
Hey, Blaze works.
You're definitely unique.
Blaze and Cozi.
[Cozi] Blaze and Cozi.
2019 American gladiators.
I love it.
To Valentine's Day.
To Valentine's Day.
Oh, so you just in the
kitchen eating a big ass bowl
of cereal, huh?
Hey man, this isn't
even about me, all right.
Why you got so much
food in your fridge?
It's a refrigerator, man.
It's supposed to have
food in it, fool!
What you talking about?
Nah man, this is different.
It's like Tupperware and
collard greens and yams.
I never seen you cook like that.
I never seen you cook.
You had a girl over here?
Okay, okay, nice
detective work, buddy.
It's the Internet girl.
Internet girl, right?
Yes, I invited her over.
I cooked her dinner.
It was great.
She loved it, she loved me.
And guess what?
I'ma see her again
on Valentine's Day.
Uh!
Who are you?
Valentine's Day, for what?
What, what you tripping for?
Man, that ain't your girl.
You ain't even wait for her.
Well, what's the problem?
I don't get it, what's wrong?
Who is she, man?
Who is she?
She still a mystery to me.
She's not no
mystery girl, okay.
Her name is Cozi, all right.
You happy now?
Cozi?
[Blaze] Yeah, that's her name.
Cozi, it's short for Cozette.
What, what, what you
looking stupid for?
Please tell me you did not
used to date this girl, man.
Nah, but my boy is.
You never heard me
bring up Ajax before?
Ajax?
What the hell
kinda name is Ajax?
Hell no, I mean, Blaze.
Whatever dog, yeah.
But, yeah, he brought her to
the bar a couple of days ago,
your spot matter of fact.
And he kissed her and
said that's his shortie.
No, no, no, no, no, no way.
Not my girl.
Cozi.
Aye man, it's two girls named
Cozi, that's all I'm saying.
No, no, no, no, no, you
gotta have her mixed up
with somebody else, bro.
No way, not my girl.
- Yeah.
- Are you, no!
You got to have it wrong.
Matter of fact, I'll
show you a picture
and we can end this right now.
'Cause ain't no way you
talking about my girl.
Bam.
That's Cozi.
Huh!
That is definitely her.
That's the same chick, man.
I don't forget a face.
She bad, okay, you know me.
She bad, I seen her.
That's who it was, man.
Wow.
[Rhett] I'm sorry I
had to break it to you.
No man, it's all...
It's cool, like I
said, you the homie.
And I would rather you
tell me that anybody else,
you know what I'm saying.
It's better than I
heard it now than later.
Right.
Damn.
Thought she was different.
[Rhett] Your website sucks.
I hate it.
You love this dress.
Well, I hate that you're
wearing it on a date with Ajax.
Why are you even entertaining
him and his nonsense?
What's wrong with going
on a date with a guy?
Nothing.
Unless it's your ex.
Well, sometimes
you just do things
that doesn't always make sense.
We do,
which is why I won't be
able to help you tonight
pick out a dress,
but when you go out
with the Blaze guy again, I
will be happy to come over
and help you pick
out any outfit.
I just went out
with him last night
and we had a great dinner.
It was good.
But tonight you're
gonna go out with your ex,
ass backwards.
You're the one that told
me to start dating, right.
I'm dating.
Yeah, rich,
smart, classy guys.
Not your lying-ass ex.
Rich, smart, classy guys.
I think you are really
looking into this way too much.
I'm not dating Ajax.
We're just hanging out
and I'm showing him
what he's missing.
You know how you show
somebody what they're missing?
You pay them dust.
You don't put on a fly dress
and waste that beautiful
contour for him.
Well, friend,
I'm just having fun
and I thought you would be
able to understand that.
Girl, you're lying to me
and you're lying to yourself.
You miss him.
You want him back.
I get it.
That's your ex
and it's familiar.
But guess what?
He's in your past and
that's where he should stay.
You gotta move forward.
Something new,
somebody new, not him.
And I know you're scared
but, sis, this ain't it.
I wish you weren't going
out with Ajax tonight.
But I can't tell you what to do.
He's your past, sis.
But, as for me, I'm going home.
No dates and I'm fine with that.
Friend.
[soft music]
Yo, yo, yo, what's up guys?
This your boy Raz and
I'm here to give you
another virtual review
on the dating site
called blazecrap.com.
Yeah, you guys might
know it as Blaze Dates,
but no, it's total shit to me.
I went on another
date with another girl
who had a boyfriend
blowing her phone up.
Then he showed up.
Like control your mans!
Come on, man.
But I should have just smashed
because she was really fine,
but I'm a changed brother
trying to find love
and Valentines, but
I don't know, guys.
I'm gonna try to
give it another shot,
but right now it's
not looking too good.
But, aye yo ma.
Aye yo ma, come here.
Maybe this shit doesn't work.
Or maybe it does?
Damn.
Cozi, what's
going on, darling?
I got you home safely
and yuh ain't say nothing
the entire ride home.
What's the problem?
You showed up on my
doorstep three days ago.
You introduced me to
your friend as your lady.
Don't you think we need
to talk about this?
We talked at lunch.
We talked at dinner.
About regular stuff.
We didn't talk about us.
So, there's an us.
- Thanks for bringing me home.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
That's it for the night?
That's it period.
Nothing about you
has changed, Ajax.
Why you say that?
Because you're still
the same guy I met.
You just got better at lying.
Okay, you saying that
just because I asked you
to come by the house and chill.
Exactly.
As per usual, the only
thing you're worrying about
is getting some ass.
Cozi.
Co!
[groaning]
Cozi, Cozi, Cozi, Cozi!
Listen, listen, listen.
I'm sorry.
All right, I know I
made some mistakes,
but just tell me what
it is you want me to do.
What you need me to
do and I'll do it.
I promise.
I love you.
I love you with every
last piece of my heart.
You must understand that.
No.
[Ajax] You really
want me to go?
[soft music]
I can't believe this girl.
Mm.
[cellphone dinging]
[cellphone buzzing]
Is he ignoring me
or is he just busy?
Okay.
Oh, that looks great.
Okay.
What?
I cannot believe that.
This is gonna look
so good on the blog.
[quirky music]
See, my site does work, man.
What are they talking about?
I'm gonna check them all out.
There some nice
girls on here, man.
[keyboard clacking]
No, he's supposed
to contact me.
Okay.
Well.
Just a quick message.
Oh god I'm like a stalker.
[cellphone buzzing]
You know what.
Hey Blaze.
What's going on?
Good, how about yourself?
Great.
Have I been calling
you too much?
Nah. You good, you
know what I'm saying.
I've just been real busy.
This is the first time
I really had enough time
to call you back.
Oh okay. So, what
you been up to?
You know the usual.
Working, taking care
of business, cooking.
Dating.
Dating?
Yeah, you know, dating.
Enjoying myself,
living my best life.
What about you?
Oh, just working and stuff.
Hmm, yeah cool.
Well, I'm actually getting
ready for a date right now.
You know what I'm saying.
A date?
Yeah, a date.
You don't have a problem
with that, do you?
I'm just asking because
you been dating too,
at least that's what I heard.
Um, I.
Okay, well, I can't
really talk too much longer.
I got to go.
Got to get ready for this date.
Bye.
Bye.
Well, what was...
Whatever.
Dating other people?
[keyboard clacking]
How did you know I was home?
I was outside waiting for you.
[Cozi] Like a stalker?
A lil' something so.
I could come inside?
It getting a little
cold out here.
Thank you.
I send you some text
messages, yuh eh get them?
I got 'em.
Well, why yuh eh answer me?
Because I've been busy.
I'm working on a new
e-book for the blog
and I don't have time
for your games, Ajax.
Why it is you think
I'm playing games?
Because I know you.
And I also know you've
been telling people
that we're getting
back together.
What the hell?
Who said dat?
Lalah told me she
found out from Jay
and we're not together so why
are you telling people this?
I told a couple
people something,
but I ain't say all of that.
Come on.
What does that even mean?
I told a couple friends
that we were getting
back together,
not that we're back together.
That is not the same thing.
Oh, I could definitely
see how that's so different.
I don't see
what's the problem.
You never do.
I'm out here trying to live
my life without you, okay.
And you out there telling people
that we're getting
back together.
I got guys to see.
[Ajax laughing]
What guys?
I'm out there meeting people.
All right, and there
maybe some people
that I may like that
may hear the stupid shit
that you're spreading.
I still don't see
what the big problem is.
Cozi, you know how
I feel about you.
And judging from the
kiss the other day,
I'm pretty sure I know how
you feel about me to, so.
Wait a minute.
- What?
- Oh my god.
I wonder.
- You wonder what?
- I wonder if this little lie
that you're telling is getting
back to someone that I know.
You mean some of the other
guys that you have to see?
Why is this so funny?
Why can't I be out
there dating new guys?
Is not that you can't be
out there dating new guys,
is just that, I mean, come on.
Is not like you're just going
and get over me just so,
so stop it.
You think so?
Listen, Cozi, you
could say whatever it is
you have to say to yourself
so you could lie down
and sleep at night.
That's all right,
that no problem.
I don't care about all these
other guys that you seeing.
The only guy I care
about you seeing is me.
All right.
So, leh we go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, where
do you think we're going?
We going Redwoods
for wings and drinks.
You said the wings and
drinks was tasting good
so leh we go back.
So, just like that,
you walk in here
and I'm supposed to go with you?
Wha yuh have to lose?
I'll be in the car.
I hate him so much.
So, what yuh having to eat?
Cozi?
Yeah, oh, I don't know.
Who you macoing so?
I'm not staring.
Ah, okay.
Cozi, you are definitely
staring at somebody here.
Is one of your guys
here or something?
You know what.
Nevermind.
You know what, is all right.
If one of your guys
is here, I don't care.
I ain't care about he at all.
He could be whoever he
is or whatever he is,
if is one thing he's not is me.
So, let we have some
drink and food, please,
and everything will be as usual.
That's it.
Yeah okay.
So how did you like the food?
It's pretty good
if I say so myself.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Glad you liked it.
What I really enjoyed
the most was your company.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
I like that.
You know let's get out of
here and find some other place.
I know a real decent spot.
Yeah, um.
I like that too.
Yeah, let's do that.
Matter of fact, I got
all this covered already.
Let's get out of here.
Okay.
Damn, such a gentleman.
I try to be.
I try to be.
Sorry about the way I
behave at the restaurant.
I should'na said any
of the things I said.
You can't help it,
you're just being yourself.
I trying to get better.
I working on it every day.
I hear you.
So, what it is going
on with this man Blaze?
What kind of name is Blaze?
He's a wrestler,
he's a superhero?
Oh Blaze, I know
you not tripping.
- What?
- Why does it matter?
I just asking a question.
I cyah ask a question?
The man name Blaze,
is a funny name.
[Cozi] Just somebody
I'm talking to,
it's nothing really serious.
Yeah, well, it ain't look
like is serious for him either.
He already walking
around with somebody else
and is not even like she pretty.
- Right.
- Yeah.
I look better than
her on my worst day.
- Easy.
- That good.
So, are you serious?
When you said you wanted
to get back together
and that you missed me?
How many times you
have to ask me that?
As many times as it takes
for me to believe you.
Mm-hm.
- You miss me?
- You know I do.
- You miss me?
- Mm-hm.
[Cozi] You miss me?
[thudding]
[Cozi] Oh babe, I'm
so sorry, your phone.
[Ajax] No, no, forget
the damn phone, girl.
No, your screen
may have cracked.
Is the phone broken?
No, but you do have
a message from Drea.
Wait who?
She can't wait
to see you tonight
'cause she wants to feel you.
- Listen.
- Stop.
- I can explain.
- Yes, so can I.
You're still up to
your same bullshit.
No, no, I need you to leave.
Just get out.
- Cozi.
- For good this time.
Cozi, this woman doesn't
mean anything to me.
All right, I eh even know
the last time I talk to she.
I eh know why she texting me.
I told you, you are the
woman I want to be with.
I mean you know that.
Oh, stop, stop!
I don't want to be with you.
I'm not making
that mistake again.
So, please just get out
and don't ever come back.
I'm not dealing with this again.
This is it, I'm done.
And stop telling people that
we're getting back together
'cause that's never
happening again.
Don't say that, Cozi.
Can you please just go.
And never call me again.
[somber music]
I'm sorry.
[energetic music]
Aye man.
I can't lie, I love the
convenience of a gym
in your house.
How you gonna be working
out and eating damned chicken
at the same time, man?
I love it.
Hey man, don't hate
on my convenience.
I pump.
I eat.
I pump again.
I eat again.
It works.
For me.
What you doing, man?
Man, I'm trying to check out
these reviews on
this dating site.
Hopefully, I'll be
able to balance out
some of the negative comments,
you know what I'm saying.
Oh, so we lying now?
Hold up, ain't nobody lying.
I'm telling the truth.
You can find good people
on my dating site.
You just gonna have to
weed through the bad ones,
you know what I'm saying.
That's real, that's life.
Yeah man.
Enough about that, man.
What's up with you and Cozi?
Bro, do you know I
seen that girl, man?
She came up in my
spot with some dude
and I'm pretty damn sure
it was that Ajax cat
you was telling me about.
I told you, man.
You know I got your back.
I ain't just gonna
say anything, dog.
I told you, you
know I'm your dude.
Whatever man.
So, what's his story, man?
What you know about him?
I know Ajax for
about a year, man.
And if he with Cozi,
ptew-ptew, he with Cozi.
All right, that
man put up numbers.
Straight up.
That's crazy, man.
'Cause I was on a date myself.
Remember the girl I
was telling you about?
- Mm-hm.
- The little badie that I met
on my dating site.
I mean she was cool.
So, we was in there kicking
it, having a good time,
you know what I'm saying.
Drinking or whatever.
In walks Cozi with this
dude, up in my damn spot.
Can you believe that?
That whore.
Hey man, they always coming at
us like we the bad guys, man.
They worse that us, dog.
They cutthroat.
So, I know she saw me, right.
So, we in there kicking it.
I was being extra flirty,
extra touchy, huggy.
She was kissing on me.
And when we left,
I stared at her.
So, I know she pissed,
you know what I'm saying.
Mmm!
That's the old Blaze, man.
- Yeah?
- Nah.
[Rhett] You sure,
you look like you
shedding a tear over there, man?
You about to cry
over there, man?
Oh, so now I'm crying?
[Rhett] You mad?
Ain't nobody mad, man.
I got this shoulder right
here, man, if you need it.
You want this shoulder?
You know I know you
better than anybody,
you can have it Blaze.
I'm good, bro.
I'm good, speaking of shoulders,
looks like you need
to work on yours, man.
Do a set.
I got to get back
to the club, man.
I'm supposed to pick up
these new tables, man.
You could stay here, you
know what I'm saying.
You good, matter
of fact, get a set.
Lift some weights.
Do something.
Nah, I'd rather pick
up this chicken, though.
You got some more, right?
Upstairs, anymore?
I'll do that, man.
Rhett, eat as much
chicken as you want, man.
Mi casa, su casa.
Thank you.
You know what?
Real shit.
I'ma go ahead and keep it
real, I ain't gonna lie.
I am a little salty over
this whole Cozi situation.
You know what I mean?
I liked that girl.
Least I thought I did.
You know what I mean, but
after all this done happen,
you know what, ain't
nobody worried about it,
you know what I'm saying?
Exactly.
You know how many
girls I got on here
trying to hit me up?
[Rhett] How many
girls you got?
Too many.
That's the old
Blaze that I know.
Matter of fact, look.
Got a bae hitting
me up right now.
Man you!
Go out there and you do that.
I'm back, baby.
What you doing here?
Hi, I'm here to see Blaze.
Is he here?
He ain't here, bye!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.
Hold on, hold on.
Is he really not here or
are you just playing around?
Blaze is out handling
business right now.
You need to be knocking
on somebody else door,
ringing somebody else doorbell.
You know like Ajax?
Excuse me?
You heard me, woman.
Oh Ajax, okay.
I don't have time to
explain anything to you.
Any idea when he'll be back?
Why, you want to stay?
Wow.
Yeah, no.
I'll just call him
or stop by later.
Thanks.
I might put in a
good word for you.
[phone ringing]
Girlfriend, answer the phone.
[Lalah] Cozi, what
is going on with you?
Okay, first off, I have no
idea what I'm going to make
for the Valentine's Day
feature for my blog.
[Lalah] I need you
to take a deep breath,
take the night off.
Your fans are gonna understand.
But girl, what is really
going on with you?
Right, but Valentine's Day
is right around the corner
and, okay.
Full transparency
moment, friend.
[Lalah] Of course, friend.
I can't get him off my mind.
[Lalah] Who?
Not Ajax!
No, Blaze!
It's like I gotta find
him and tell him the truth
because I don't know
what else to do.
And then I saw him last
night with that woman
and I just felt, I just got...
[Lalah] Oh jealous, boo.
No, no, okay, yeah.
Yeah, I got jealous.
But I don't know why?
It's not like he's my man.
He's like a perfect
stranger to me still.
And then Ajax and all his
damned lies, like, oh!
I just got to fix it.
I'm gonna fix it and
I'm gonna go over there
and I'm gonna let
him know the truth.
I'ma tell him what happened.
[Lalah] Okay, hold up.
Go over where?
It's very stalkerish.
It is very stalkerish.
Okay, you know what?
You're right.
That does sound a bit that way,
but I'm not listening
to you, friend.
Not this time.
I love you but I
gotta follow my heart.
I really believe if I
just tell him the truth
that things will be okay.
So, as much as I appreciate,
yeah, no, no, as much as I
appreciate you telling me.
Okay, you know what, friend?
I love you so much,
friend, I gotta go.
I gotta go!
Friend, friend, oh
my God, I'm sorry!
The phone, the phone!
All right, I know what I need.
I just need a little
liquid courage.
Oh yeah.
Okay, okay, okay, all right.
Okay.
Ahh!
Ooh, okay.
All right.
[energetic music]
[doorbell ringing]
Hi.
What's up?
How are you?
Wasn't really expecting
to see you here.
I...
I know, I came by earlier
and your friend, Rhett,
said you weren't here, you went
to make a run or something.
Right.
I had to go and
handle some business.
Was it another
date or something?
Another date?
Really?
How was your other guy?
What's his name Ajax or
some damn thing like that?
- Okay.
- What the hell
kind of name is Ajax anyway?
- I deserve that.
- Ain't that dishwashing
detergent?
Can you at least here me out?
I really want to explain
everything thing to you.
You know what, yeah.
I was just gonna have a drink.
Come on, let's go
sit on the deck.
Hey.
Thank you for giving me
a minute to talk to you,
just to explain things.
Yeah.
But I wanted you
to know that you
got some untrue
information from Rhett.
Nah!
What's untrue about it.
He said he saw you all
together at the Redwood, right.
And I saw you all together
last night so I'm confused
about what's untrue about that.
Okay, okay.
Hear me.
Hear me.
Ajax is my ex.
Okay.
And he literally just
popped up out of nowhere,
the night of our date.
And I just needed
clarity, to be honest.
I mean, he's an ex, he
came back out of the blue,
and you know how it is, you
start feeling a certain way,
and then they do something
to make you believe
or remember why they're
the ex to begin with.
And we've all been there, right?
I mean, for me, he's my history.
Cool.
So, you all not together.
[Cozi] No, we
are not together.
Cool, we not together either.
I mean, yeah, we had a couple
first dates or whatever.
You can date whoever you
want to date, ai'ight.
It's not like we in a
relationship or nothing.
But I want to see you.
I don't want to go backwards,
I want to go forward.
I want to be with someone
who has a great heart,
who's a great person.
That's why I'm here
because I wanted to be able
to explain to you everything
'cause I felt like
we had something.
Yeah, I did feel that.
But when I saw you with
that other guy, man,
I don't know what I felt.
I felt confused, you
know what I'm saying.
And I felt the same way.
When I saw you with the girl
that really made me feel
like this is who
I want to be with.
This is who I want
to get to know.
This is who I want
to spend time with.
It wasn't a good
feeling and I'm so sorry
you had to feel that way.
It was just a
misunderstanding, I'm so sorry.
Ai'ight.
I mean you saying
all this [mumbles]
To be honest, yes, those
last couple days that we had,
they were great.
You the only thing I
been able to think about.
You know what I'm saying.
And I thought about it, yeah,
I want to see where we can go.
But, no, I gotta know
that this is real.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not trying to
do this by myself.
No.
I'm in it 100%.
I felt the same way too.
Blaze, I want to
get to know you.
I want to be with you.
Yeah.
Is that all right?
Can we get to know each other?
Come here.
Can we get to know each other?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
You're driving me crazy, man.
Wait a minute, come here.
- You cleaning me up?
- Yeah.
Damn.
Got a little me on you.
But hold on, hold
on, wait a minute.
What about this girl that
you were on a date with?
Here I am pouring out all
my feelings about my ex
and what happened and you're
being quiet over there.
So, what's up with that chic?
Because you made it very clear
that you were dating right now.
Yeah, I was dating.
But that was all because of
you. I went out with that girl.
Yeah, we kicked it.
She was cool.
You know what I mean,
and she was fine.
But she ain't my type.
I don't want to be with her.
I want to be with you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I want to be with you too.
Oh, oh my god, I'm so,
I gotta go.
No, I'm sorry, I have to get
the blog ready for tomorrow.
Wait, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
So, you really just
gonna get me all excited
and then leave?
Are you serious?
I'm sorry but
tomorrow's Valentine's Day
and I got to get the romantic
dinner up on the blog.
You know, the whole thing.
Wow.
Well, we can do that together.
All right.
I mean, I can help you cook.
We can make the food,
put the pictures up,
print out the recipe,
get it on your blog,
and then it'd be done.
Then we have more time
to spend, you know,
with each other.
You would do that?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, let's...
I would love that.
I would love that. I mean
we were supposed to spend
Valentine's Day
together anyway, right?
Right, 'cause you
remember we did have plans.
- We did have plans.
- For Valentine's Day right.
Yes.
Seems like someone is
going to be a guest chef
on my blog.
Oh, so you gonna
make me a guest chef?
- Absolutely.
- Wow.
Let me call my mama.
Let her know I finally made it.
- You made it.
- Yeah, I made it now.
But, yeah, we did have
plans on Valentine's Day.
You do know that, right?
Absolutely.
So, I guess
everything worked out.
[Cozi] Everything worked out.
Yeah.
Thanks for your [mumbles]
Let's go in the house.
Get started.
This time you can finally
take your jacket off.
You were so mad at me.
Yeah, I was mad.
Dear heavenly Father,
thank you for the blessings
you have placed upon us.
Thank you for blessing
me with the spirit
of this beautiful young lady.
And blessing us both on this
glorious Valentine's Day.
Amen.
Amen.
That was beautiful.
You're beautiful.
Thank you.
I have to say the roses
are really a great touch.
- You like those?
- I do.
See, I pay attention,
I had those specially
ordered for you.
Really?
I appreciate that.
Let me try this.
Mm.
We did good.
Baby, this is so good.
So, did you get enough pictures
and everything for your blog?
Mm.
I did.
But I'm gonna put
them up tomorrow
or later tonight or something
'cause I really want to enjoy
my Valentine's Day.
Good, 'cause this is my time.
- Yes.
- You know what I'm saying,
and I want every second of it.
Absolutely.
No sharing.
You gotta make up
for lost time, you
know what I mean.
- That I do.
- Mm-hm.
Mm, you never told me
what you do for a living.
I know you own
businesses or something,
but I don't know
exactly what you do.
You sure I didn't
tell you about that?
Okay.
Might as well come
clean now, right.
[Cozi] Please.
I'm a drug dealer, baby.
Really?
Oh, time to go!
- You didn't believe me?
- No.
I thought girls
like dope boys.
[Cozi] Not this one.
But, honestly, you ever
hear of a dating site
called blazedates.com?
Wait a minute.
[Cozi coughs]
Okay.
You own blazedates.com.
Wow.
Oh my god.
You're the Blaze
in blazedates.com.
Wow.
Oh my god, yeah.
How did I not put that together?
I don't know.
Blaze Maddox, blazedates.com.
Yeah, but I didn't
know you owned it.
Oh my goodness.
So, you wanna give that
review now on your blog or what?
Sure.
Well, I got a good
review for it, for sure.
[Blaze] Hook me up.
Is there anything else
you wanna share with me
that you have been keeping
from me that's top secret?
You ever been to a
bar called the Redwood?
Oh, stop it!
Shut up!
You own the Redwood too?
[Blaze] Yah.
How did I not know that?
My god.
Seems that everybody
else knows that except you.
Wow, you're good.
You're really good.
Okay, is that it?
There's more.
No, I promise.
No more secrets.
No more secrets.
- That's it.
- That's it?
- Ever.
- Ever.
But I need you to
keep this a secret,
don't tell everybody.
I'm tryna stay under the radar
with the Blaze Dates thing.
All right.
Your secret is safe with me.
My god.
Too funny.
Oh please let me.
To Redwood and their
fire-ass wings.
I told you they were good.
No, to blazedates.com
and helping us find true love.
To Blaze Dates.
Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
Happy Valentine's Day.
This is better
than Redwood's wings.
Oh absolutely.
'Cause we did it.
Hey.
I appreciate it.
[Blaze] You're
making me smile.
Eat your chicken, girl.
[upbeat music]
Happy Valentine's
Day, everybody.
It's your boy, Raz, and
I'm here to give you
a third and final review
on blazedates.com.
And, um.
Boom!
I done find me a little queen!
Aye!
I got to say third time is the...
No, we are not
going to do that!
My bad, my bad, babe.
But I gotta say, man, you guys
you can see that me and her
met on this wonderful
app called blazedates.com
and I gotta say I'm a lucky man.
No, I'm a lucky woman.
Yeah, go ahead
with your fine self.
But we got a date tonight,
man, so everybody,
hold on, let me get that booty.
Show that booty, baby.
Aye, come on!
Aye, aye, happy Valentine's Day.
Your boy's out
here in the street.
- Let's go!
- Ai'ight, ai'ight, baby.