My Spy: The Eternal City (2024) Movie Script
1
And if you saw
the People's Choice Awards last night,
you saw a heck of a lot
of this guy's face.
Here's the number one single
in the country right now,
from Ryan King Kerr.
What are you working on?
Oh, I'm, um... I'm writing
a new song for my grandma.
I told her, if I won
a People's Choice Award,
I would write her a new song.
I guess I got a lot of work to do.
That's really sweet.
Yeah, well, she worries about me
after those recent threats.
I told her, as long as I got JJ as my
bodyguard, nothing's gonna happen to me.
Just glad the CIA gave you some time off.
That's right.
I'm gonna take a leak. You want anything?
Uh, maybe a water on your way back.
Oh, anything for the man who protects me.
Anything? I'd like you to teach me
how to play guitar.
What, with those ham hands?
Just think about playing the tuba.
Really think I can play the tuba?
You crack me up, JJ.
What a cute little dick.
Water?
- I couldn't help but overhear.
- Thank you.
Aah! Son of a...
Aah! Are you kidding me?
JJ, it's Sophie.
Coming in for extraction now.
Brace for impact.
Hey, not my People's Choice.
- Sophie?
- I got you.
It's gonna be okay.
How'd you know what they were planning?
That's not important.
So for the last time, can I go to the
homecoming dance with Ryan this Saturday?
Sorry.
You've got underwater training scheduled.
What are you doing?
- Hey, Sophie?
- Hmm?
I can't go to the dance with you.
I asked Olivia Rodrigo.
Hmm.
Wait.
No!
That was weird.
Here you go, Oz.
All right. Yeah.
Hey, Blueberry.
There you go, pal.
You're looking very handsome today.
Sophie, food's getting cold.
Made your favorite... scones.
But muffins are my favorite.
I tried making muffins,
but they didn't rise.
And now they are scones.
What is going on with your hair?
Still got bed head.
Supposed to be out the door.
It's fine.
I have free period this morning,
then seminar advisory,
which I can just blow off.
No, blowing off is a bad habit.
I'm not letting you start bad habits.
I need you there at 0900.
- Did you hear me, young lady?
- Mm-hmm.
Is that a "mm-hmm" like you heard me
or a "mm-hmm" like "shut up"?
Yes, I will be there at 0900.
Geez, just 'cause you think
you can act like my dad
doesn't mean that you are my dad.
'Cause you are not.
- Hey.
- Hey, babe.
- How are you?
- Well, we finally got here and settled in.
The people are so great.
And, boy, did they need us.
Nurses for Global Health to the rescue.
What's Rwanda like?
It's unbelievable.
But how about you? How's everything?
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, sweetheart.
Don't feed your scones to Ozzie.
And we have practice today... 1600.
Yes, drill sergeant.
It's called "four o'clock."
So, how's it really going?
I mean, my suggestions
used to be considered useful,
my jokes funny.
Today, after I simply reminded her
of the importance of punctuality,
she reminded me that I am not her dad.
But no, it's fine.
I'm not her real dad.
I'm just...
I don't know.
You have her training every day.
Try asking her what she wants to do
for a change.
Sophie loves the dojo.
- It's her thing.
- Her thing or yours?
Just ask her.
She might really appreciate that.
She's changing, JJ.
Be patient.
Perimeter?
Looks good.
Bobbi, can you show me the close camera?
And someone needs to finish
these scones that I baked
for my little girl who fed 'em to the dog.
These are pieces of my heart
that you're leaving on this plate, people.
I'll take one. Thank you.
Connelly.
What?
I'm on Lipitor. I'm allowed.
We got a bogey, six o'clock.
Well done, Christina.
You're clear to proceed.
Copy that. Wish you were with me, friend.
All right. That's the air-gapped server.
Gonna need
some help here, Bobbi.
- What do we got?
- Looks like the lock's a JET-08.
Sending data package now.
Christina, we got another bogey
approaching, ten o'clock.
Time to see if Kim's informant's right
and the data's actually here.
Good Lord.
We got seven more bogeys approaching.
Thirty seconds out.
Need more time.
- Christina, get out of there. Now!
- No, JJ, wait.
Christina, you've got this.
Got it. Got weapons locations
scattered globally.
I said move, damn it!
Almost done.
Three. Two.
One.
Hey. Good work, JJ.
Thanks.
- Little touch and go there, but...
- No, I mean the scones.
At first, I was disappointed
the raisins wasn't chocolate chips.
I was like,
"Where the chocolate chips at?"
'Cause all the scones I had
had chocolate chips before.
But then, about the fourth bite,
I was like, "Damn!"
They're currants. Thank you.
Uh, you okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
'Cause, uh, you're sweating
like you're going through menopause.
Christina had that,
and you almost shut it down.
But I didn't, did I?
Sir? You wanted to see me?
I heard we were successful. Congrats.
Yeah. Thank you.
So, what did this data reveal?
At the end of the Cold War,
when the Soviets were falling apart,
the KGB set out to hide weapons all around
the world for a potential first strike.
Suitcase nukes,
each weighing less than 50 pounds.
Portable so they can be moved
but carrying a blast capability
of one kiloton.
In 1973, NATO intelligence intercepted
a top secret Soviet document
containing activation codes
for these weapons.
But these weapons could not be found.
Over a hundred nukes went missing.
So, hopefully, this data that you helped
retrieve will tell us where they are.
- I'm glad that tip worked out.
- Yes.
Step one: finding them.
Step two: acquire and neutralize.
Step three: getting you back
in the field, JJ.
I need you to finish this mission.
You know I can't do that, sir.
When I moved here three years ago, I
made...
Yeah, I know.
You made a promise.
No more fieldwork,
focus more on intel and family.
I just want to live long enough
to walk Sophie down the aisle one day.
Fieldwork is behind me. I've changed.
Oh, quit the crap, JJ.
I need my number one bull elephant
heading this mission.
And Connelly can't do it.
He scheduled a colonoscopy.
He already picked up
the gallon of orange goo,
and he has to be near a latrine
for the next 48 hours.
Sir, I just want to serve
my country peacefully
and be the best father...
the best guardian I can be.
Scone?
They're sugar-free, but you'd
never guess if I didn't tell you.
They're really good.
Wait.
Oh, God.
- He's so good.
- So good.
That's the stuff, Ryan. Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Brookey.
Thank all of you.
Your focus this week
has been very impressive.
National choir rankings come out tonight,
and the top five schools
will be invited to tour Italy
with a command performance at the Vatican.
Fingers crossed.
See y'all tomorrow. Thank you.
- Nice going, Ryan.
- Good job, man.
All right.
Oh, you killed it.
Awkward.
- Sorry.
- Thank you, Sophie.
I appreciate that. Hey, you sounded great.
Oh, God.
Sophie, wait up.
Hey, I'm trying out
for the play next Thursday.
Want to help me run some lines?
I got to learn some Italian for this one.
Mm, accent's a little Super Mario,
but it's not bad.
- But I can't.
- Hey, Soph.
JJ's making pasta and wants me home.
He sure does love to cook.
Collin, how long have we been friends?
Since the first day you got here.
You were the only one
who showed me around.
Well, that's 'cause I felt bad.
I mean, look at you.
That hideous smile? You're doomed.
Okay. Seriously, I need your opinion.
Do you think Ryan would say yes
if I asked him to the homecoming dance?
You and Ryan?
Shouldn't he be asking you?
Well, he barely knows who I am.
I had a dream I asked him,
but it didn't go so well.
Look, I like the guy, but he's a jock.
The only reason why he joined choir
is because our football team sucks
and it's the only way
for him to meet girls.
Well, it worked.
He's got style. He's smart.
Smart? FYI, he drops his pants all the way
to the ground when he's at the urinal.
That's completely unnecessary.
Come on. For real.
Of course he'd say yes.
He'd be an idiot not to.
Thanks.
See ya.
I'm going to need that thumb drive.
The drive.
The real one.
I'll give your best to JJ.
Toodles.
Come on. Got to land that.
Look, I'm done, okay?
It's 5:30, and I've got stuff to do.
Like what? Catching up on your Snapchat?
Yeah, I wish I could, but my iPhone
is so old it overheats after three texts.
Keep your grades up,
then maybe for your birthday.
Come on, another set.
It's the only time we get to hang out.
No, I can't, okay? I just...
I've got too much homework.
If you want to be a great agent,
you got to put in the time.
Yeah, well, I have other interests now
that also require my time.
You used to really want to be an agent.
It's all you ever talked about.
Yeah, well, I also wanted
to be Dora the Explorer.
I've changed.
Okay? And so have you.
I mean, being in the field
is all you used to talk about,
and now you prefer
making pasta and scones.
Well, I think it's just another excuse
to skip practice and take the easy road.
And you're not hitting your high kicks,
your punching speed is slow,
and I haven't seen you pick up a knife
in like three weeks.
Okay, I take back
the knife comment.
But everything else still stands.
Sophie.
Wait.
Hey. I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow's Saturday. Forget practice.
What would you like to do?
Whatever. Can go to a museum,
catch a movie, whatever you want.
Oh, my God,
my choir is top five.
Oh, my God, I'm going to Italy.
Oh, I'm going to Italy!
Italy!
Chaperoning? You're serious?
Yeah. Kim approved it.
Well, just say you can't do it.
Like a normal dad who can't take you
to your first concert
because he's suddenly too busy
with his second family
that's no longer a secret.
Wow. That's specific.
Look, I became an analyst so I could be
your eyes and ears as a partner.
But the last few years, you, the badass,
has become an analyst, too.
And now I just help Connelly,
who, like, never invites me
to his trivia nights.
- Have you been invited?
- Mm...
It's like I don't even recognize you.
You just sit there like an avocado
getting older and softer.
- Because I'm chaperoning a trip?
- Yeah.
You're sounding kind of sexist.
I can't hear you... over your vagina!
Sorry, was that too sexist?
Why don't you go cry about it to HR?
Enjoy your trip.
Ugh. Connelly.
Lot of vagina talk.
I know.
So, chaperone?
I chaperoned three Boy Scout overnights
with my son. They're a piece of cake.
Really? Got any advice?
It's kind of an important trip for us.
Trick is you got to give them a taste
of adulthood but with a safe perimeter.
- What do you mean?
- You're going to Europe, right?
- Yeah.
- On a field trip.
Let her let her hair down.
Let her stay up past her bedtime,
run in a field, taste some wine.
Surprise her. Open up the rules.
And the clincher... if you can make
her friends like you, you're in.
You'll be your kid's hero.
- Her friends, huh?
- Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Who wants to go to Italy?
Gather in your assigned groups,
and let's get this show on the road.
- How do you know your group?
- Don't you read the emails?
- What emails?
- Geez.
I also texted you a list
of some ground rules.
- Ground rules?
- Yes.
I think some basic guidelines are in order
if this is going to be
a successful trip for you and me.
- "We are not roommates"?
- Correct.
I will be sharing a room with my friends.
"Rule two: Visiting hours are limited
to one hour a day."
Which brings us to our next rule.
For God's sake.
Do I just constantly embarrass you?
Not constantly.
- Nice fanny pack, by the way.
- Thank you.
You must be JJ.
I'm Nancy Buck, the new vice principal.
I'll be traveling with you, helping out.
Let me introduce you
to the other chaperones.
JJ, meet Linda, Ted, Z,
Sharonne, Alex and Sam.
Hey.
Linda and Alex have done two tours,
so when you need help,
don't hesitate to ask.
- We've got your back.
- All right.
Now, I think I got this.
Oh, he's got this.
JJ's a G-man.
Works for the government... CIA.
I'm just an analyst now.
You've probably seen it all, JJ.
Yeah, pretty much.
So you know what to do when a kid
cries all night because he's homesick?
Or when someone from Linda's group crawls
into bed with someone from Alex's group?
Or when a girl from your own group
gets her period
and has run out of tampons?
That's a trick question.
'Cause we don't talk about periods
because they're embarrassing and private.
You think the female body is embarrassing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
I mean, uh, no. No, of course not.
Pass. Next question.
- Are you sure you can handle this?
- Yes, ma'am.
Good. These kids are at a tricky age.
Raging hormones, poor impulse control.
Plus, the numbers are stacked
against us 15 to one.
So stay frosty, soldier boy,
because if you can't hack it,
I will dump your ass from chaperone
to the shadow tour
with the other loser parents
who want to stay in the nicer hotels
and sip chardonnay from a distance.
The ones who are too afraid
to get their hands dirty
in the crap bowl of American youth.
I did not love that conversation.
So, my name is JJ, and I'm your chaperone.
Okay. Huddle up, guys. Come on.
All right, for this mission,
our squad's going into foreign territory,
so to succeed,
we're gonna have to maintain
a high level of situational awareness.
Which means we're gonna
have to look out for each other.
Hey, can you put that down, please?
Sorry.
But I really wanted us to get off
on the right foot, so I brought you guys
some fresh-baked cookies...
and some White Claws.
Hey, we're gonna get so wasted.
What the hell are you doing?
You want to get us kicked off this trip?
You cannot give these kids alcohol.
It's not real.
I had Langley fabricate the cans
with some carbonated water.
Well, that's putting our tax dollars
to good use.
What were you thinking?
First of all, you don't pay taxes.
Second, I just want us to have a good time
and I want your friends to like me.
You don't
have to walk me in, Dad.
Ah, of course I do.
I'm not gonna see you for ten whole days.
Give me a kiss. Come on.
- Dad.
- Oh, don't Nemo me.
Kiss me on the cheek, or so help me,
when this bus pulls away,
I will run after you screaming,
"Hey, Collin, you forgot
your diarrhea medication!"
- Okay. Okay.
- All right.
There you go. Was that so hard?
Please, Dad, stop.
Okay, one-one more, one more.
- Bye, Dad.
- Goodbye.
Oh, I have something more to tell you.
- Bye, Dad.
- Okay.
What? There's nothing wrong
with expressing your feelings.
What about expressing your saliva
all over Collin's cheek?
My son is the reason I agreed
to give you this time off.
I want you to keep an eye on him.
He's sensitive.
This is gonna be the first time
Collin hasn't slept in his own bed
since his mom died three years ago.
Don't worry. He'll be in good hands.
What's up with the Peppa Pig scrubs?
You know, Collin still thinks
I'm a pediatric nurse.
When are you gonna tell him that you're
the head of covert operations for the CIA?
Keeping him in the dark keeps him safe.
And I trust you told Sophie
not to tell him?
- Yeah. Many times.
- I got to go.
Have fun with the choir, JJ.
Thanks, Chief.
Was that as bad as it felt?
A man making out with his son?
No, it wasn't great.
Collin!
I love you!
He's so embarrassing.
Collin!
I'll be right back.
I got to run to the store
and buy some tampons.
Acknowledge me!
Are you guys seeing this? St. Mark's.
It was consecrated
over a thousand years ago.
And, uh, that's...
that's the doge's palace,
apparently Venice's most iconic landmark.
And I'm having an affair with Lady Gaga.
I can say this because
no one's listening or cares.
Maybe they're all wasted
from the fake White Claws.
Funny.
Here. I got you something.
I know it's not your birthday,
but I wanted to wait till we got here
to give you this.
- Really?
- Open it.
It's not an iPhone, but this is better.
Enhanced tracking, satellite capabilities,
a stun light and a built-in Taser.
And the best thing about this...
When you're done with it,
just throw it away.
You got me a used burner phone.
Maybe I can use it to buy some meth
or order a hit man.
Don't be ridiculous.
If you need a hit man,
come to me for the referral.
I got you a spare battery.
Now, Langley puts E-tags on these
so they can track them if they're lost.
Don't even think about losing it,
'cause those are expensive.
You're welcome.
Hi, JJ.
Second-guessing your decision
to come on this trip?
No, not at all, although...
it is a little like herding kittens.
How is it anything like hurting kittens?
No, herding.
Herd-ing kittens.
Ah. 'Kay.
Anyway, we made it,
and as long as bed check was fine
and the kids are all squared away,
we are good.
Yep. All good.
Great. Just remember
I need your bed check roll call
emailed to me every night at 10:00 sharp.
I've got a lot of nervous parents
that I need to keep happy.
Got it. Ten sharp.
- Have a good night, then.
- Good night.
Bed check.
Oh, God.
Bed check.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Bed check.
Sophie?
Bed check.
Spin the bottle?
Throw those bottles away.
Start cleaning up.
Fiona, you okay?
I can't believe you guys
went out and got beer.
I'm coming in.
Whoever's in there better have clothes on.
What is going on here?
Um, we're just rehearsing.
It is 10:05, JJ.
Where's my bed check update?
This will be a final reminder that there
will be zero tolerance for missing curfew.
Yeah, no, that's on me.
I mean, failing to prepare
is preparing for failure.
- It won't happen again.
- I hope not.
Please don't have me
do your job for you again.
- Back to your rooms, everyone.
- Okay. Come on, guys. Let's go.
This is your fault.
You got us in trouble.
- I got you out of trouble.
- Really?
You drew the vice principal straight to us
because you forgot to do your job.
And I could've turned you in
to Cruella de Nancy, but I didn't.
You're the one that snuck out,
and you're getting mad at me?
Yes, because I was this close
to having my first...
Okay.
I did nothing wrong.
You have got to give me some space.
Well, I can't.
Because you asked me to come,
and now I've got a job to do.
JJ, I am going to have fun on this trip,
and if you're going to get in my way,
then consider yourself the opposition.
The opposition? Really? Me?
Do you know who you're talking to?
I'm an Army Ranger
who survived five tours of duty.
I can survive one choir tour.
You know how Christina
was supposed to bring
that thumb drive to the Berlin embassy?
- Yeah.
- She never arrived.
Get me chief of station Berlin.
All right, we've got an hour
till the buses leave for Florence.
- Let's pack 'em and stack 'em.
- Yes, ma'am.
Hey.
Do you guys want to sneak out tonight
when we get to Florence?
You're not worried about
getting in trouble again?
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Yeah, 'cause statistically,
we've only gotten in trouble
one out of one times on this trip so far.
Guys, if you look out to the left,
you will see the Santa Maria Novella.
It says that it was built
in the first half of the 13th century
and it's considered
one of the most important points
of religious
and artistic interest in Italy.
And hey, if you look to the right,
you will see the Duomo.
Uh, there it is. There it is.
I can't actually... can't believe
that we're here seeing that.
You see that, guys?
Right over there?
Look how amazing that is.
Are you guys excited to see that? I am.
Hey, guys.
Let's turn in early
so we're fresh for tomorrow, all right?
Okay, JJ. By the way,
I enjoyed your guided tour.
I had no idea the Duomo
took 142 years to build.
Thanks, Collin.
Don't be such a kiss-ass.
He was terrible.
That guided tour took
142 years off my life.
I know, but the best way to sneak
past the warden is to be his best friend.
What was he so cheery about?
Good question.
So, how late is this place open?
I don't know.
But I do know it has
the best gelato in Italy.
It's the perfect place
to ask Ryan to homecoming.
Oh, geez.
Please, Collin.
I need you to do this for me.
I'll owe you forever.
Whoa.
I have a camera in the plug
and one in the vent.
What's he doing?
A tracker.
Not as smart as you think you are, JJ.
Where'd you learn how to do all this?
Ironically, he taught me.
That's so cool.
- Really?
- Yeah.
My dad's totally boring.
What are you talking about? Your dad's...
probably cooler than you think he is.
Unlikely.
It's almost time for bed check.
It's now or never. I got to get ready.
What about JJ? He leaves his door open.
How do we get by?
Trust me.
I know all his moves.
Follow me.
Hey, come on, man. You got this.
Oh, God.
Damn.
- How'd you find the trackers?
- Nanny-cammed you.
- Nice.
- How'd you get us?
- Trip-wired the boys' door.
- Not bad.
Now, why don't you guys turn around
and go back to your rooms.
- JJ.
- No, I mean it. Now.
Sorry, guys.
All right, I'll tell you what.
I'll let you guys stay up
a little past your bedtime.
There is 40 minutes to curfew.
If you guys promise to be
back in your rooms in 35 minutes,
I'll pretend like I didn't see you.
Thank you, Mr. Jones.
Hey, you're pretty cool.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
How much do I owe you?
There it is. Just ahead.
What? Oh.
Oh, no. I totally left my medicine
back at the hotel.
I better go get it.
It's for worms.
I got pinworms from my dog.
But don't worry, the medicine's working
and I'm turning the corner on the worms.
My butt hardly itches at all anymore.
I'll catch up with you later.
- That was weird.
- Yeah.
I'm never gonna live that down.
Now say exactly what I say to the server.
That's dope.
I didn't know you could speak Italian.
Well, yeah.
Uh, I didn't, either, till just now.
Oh, maybe if you helped me
rehearse for the play,
you'd know I learned some Italian.
Now, tell the server...
So cool. Hey, listen,
I'll get the next one, okay?
The next one?
Yeah.
I like hanging out with you.
Let's take a pic. Come on.
Hey, something's really wrong.
I'm so sorry, but I'll be right back.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Sorry. Scusa.
Oh, damn it.
Damn it. How much do I owe you?
Whoa.
Are you okay?
They took Collin.
- Who took Collin?
- I don't know.
How's my little cocoa bean?
We have
your son, Mr. Kim.
Come to Rome alone
to the following coordinates
for further instructions.
If you tell anyone, including the CIA,
we'll know and the boy dies.
- Something just happened.
- Stop.
Nothing over the phone.
Cover Collin's absence.
Get to Rome ASAP.
I'll send you the coordinates.
Don't do or say anything
until I get there.
There's no knowing who's involved.
Here.
You recognize him.
Yeah. Bishop Crane.
He's as bad as they come.
Assassination, extortion, trafficking.
There's nothing he won't do for money.
Why would he want to kidnap Collin?
JJ, what are you not telling me?
We were in the Special Forces together.
Crane was the new guy in an elite unit
doing drug interdiction in Colombia.
He sold us out to the cartel,
made millions.
Your unit?
I was the only one who survived.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
If Crane is involved,
whoever he's working for is very powerful.
I've got to get the other chaperones
to cover for me.
You won't be safe here.
You're coming with me.
Where are we going?
There he is.
Wait.
We got to keep our distance.
He's being watched.
All right, come on.
Get in.
I asked you to do one thing.
One. You failed.
This would've never happened
under the old JJ's watch.
Bobbi? What are you doing here?
I asked her to be here.
I needed a tech, and everybody knows
techs are basically expendable.
Right.
The better question is:
What are you doing here?
- Collin is my friend.
- Yeah.
And if whoever Crane is working for
knows about you, then they know about me.
Which also means Sophie's at risk.
I can't leave her behind.
Chief, what is that?
About to find out.
Breach NATO vault at Aviano.
Retrieve activation codes
to trade for your son.
Whoa.
Aviano?
It's an air base.
Activation codes?
Christina never made it to Berlin
with that thumb drive.
If these kidnappers have that drive...
It would mean they would know the location
of a hundred missing nukes.
Why you?
They need someone who can get in.
My rank with the CIA will grant me access
to any NATO base.
Yeah, but getting into the vault
under heavy security
is gonna be nearly impossible.
Which is why we need
to make one stop first.
Why are you doing this?
We don't have any money.
You know, you remind me
a little of myself at your age.
I hated myself at your age.
All right, listen up, everybody.
There have been
a lot of rumors flying around,
so I wanted to take a moment
to address them.
First of all, everything's fine.
Collin needed to return home
due to a family emergency,
and JJ and Sophie are accompanying.
I'll keep you all updated.
But in the meantime,
who's excited to go to Rome
and sing at the Vatican?
Yeah.
This is an MI6 safe house.
It's got everything we need
for this mission:
weapons, external hard drive
for the codes.
There's even a surveillance van
in the garage.
Best of all, no one's here right now.
Day manager is this little old lady
who goes home at 7:00.
You sure we shouldn't loop in CIA,
get support from local authorities?
I'm not risking my son, JJ.
- This is the only way to play it.
- Hmm.
Looks like a pretty solid
security camera system on the perimeter.
Yes, but on the ground floor only.
We'll break in from the second story.
Put this on till we're inside.
Okay, we're in and out in five minutes.
Let's go.
The old lady's got a lot of birds.
Yeah, let's get to work.
But let's be careful.
A lot of these safe houses
are booby-trapped for security.
Got everything?
- Yeah. Let's move.
- Okay.
There's the van.
Just time the gap.
Jump through.
Time the gap?
I need a much bigger gap than you.
Huh.
How'd the birds get out?
I don't know.
Hey, little guys.
Booby trap!
Get 'em off!
What's that lady feed these things?
My guess? Nothing!
Oh, thank God.
Oh, shit.
JJ, now!
Who the hell trains attack finches?
British have a strange sense of humor.
We better move.
We may have company.
Goodbye, nasty widdle birdies.
Aw, did that hurt your widdle beak?
Fucker.
- So you're like, what, ten now?
- Fourteen.
Like I said, 14.
Got any boyfriends yet?
Uh...
I don't know, maybe.
Oh. Okay.
I knew it. That's why I'm an analyst.
Although you got my age wrong.
Here's some advice.
When you go in for that first kiss,
don't be afraid to use lots of tongue.
Get sloppy.
- Really?
- Oh, heck yeah.
Be like a cleaner shrimp
in a shark's mouth.
Explore that wet hole
like a blind man's cane.
Wow.
You know, it's really surprising
no one's snatched you up yet.
Yeah, well, I do the snatching.
Hey, did you shut the fan off?
No. Why?
Oh!
This is taking too long.
They're highly trained professionals.
They'll be fine.
They're eating my nipples!
Or maybe not.
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
Kim, CIA.
We're here to see Colonel Minelli.
All right, the vault with the codes
is in that building.
Bobbi, can you hack through security
and get access?
What, am I new?
And?
- So, what, that's it?
- Of course not.
Let me just whip the spreadsheet
with the detailed plan out of my ass.
Yes, that's it.
Kim, you son of a bitch.
You guys on good terms?
- He's like a brother.
- Oh, that's nice.
In that he hates me,
we were in love with the same woman
and I owe him about eight grand.
Colonel, it's good to see you.
This is my good friend Colonel Minelli,
who has a lot of trouble
expressing his affection.
And, Colonel, this is my...
stepbrother JJ, who is loaning us his van,
my stepdaughter Sophie and my...
wife Bobbi.
You're about ten years late.
Did you bring me my money?
Of course.
Welcome, my old friend!
- Benvenuta.
- Mm-hmm.
Benvenuta.
Benvenut...Yeah.
Why did you decide to come here now
after all of these years?
Family vacay.
Heading north to Lake Como.
We thought we'd stop in, say hello
and settle some old business.
But that does not make sense,
because Lake Como is west.
That's what I've been telling them.
But no, because Mom and Dad
are too busy arguing to listen to me,
and Uncle JJ can't hear anything
because his ears are cauliflowered shut.
Dua Lipa?
Oh, she's good. Yeah.
Okay.
Honey, um, can you two boys do
your catching up quickly?
'Cause Sophie and I need
to use the restroom
and we have those dinner reservations
I've been so looking forward to.
Mm-mm.
Your stepbrother is quite large.
Yes. He used to do MMA,
hence the hearing damage.
Well, you picked a good day to visit.
Oh? How is that?
Oh, boy.
It's just down the hall and to the right.
- I'll wait here.
- Grazie.
Okay.
Oh. Electromagnetic radiation readings.
This must be the server room.
Here.
A way for the men
to blow off some steam.
- I can see that.
- It's good to see you, Kim.
And I'm glad you came here
to finally settle your debt.
Yes, about that...
Nine thousand euros should cover
everything you owe me, plus interest.
I forgot it was that much.
Do you take Discover?
Cash only.
But maybe he can help pay your debt.
Let's go double or nothing.
We have got to tread water
while Bobbi gets the codes.
Most of the men on this base must be
in here, so it's the perfect diversion.
I'd knock that guy out in ten seconds.
Negative. You'll engage with him
until I give you the all clear.
You end this fight any sooner,
and you'll be doing desk duty
for the rest of your career.
I want to be on desk duty.
I meant you won't be doing desk duty
for the rest of your career.
- Is the password working?
- Give me a minute.
Oh, Kim better be right about this.
Your friend fights like a gelding,
afraid to hit.
Come on, Bobbi.
I'm in.
Hurry. We have to make this quick.
Oh, we do?
'Cause I thought we could do a TikTok
and have a snack.
Now, JJ. Now.
But I do take traveler's checks.
- What happened? I gave you the signal.
- What-what...
I can't breathe. It's like a marathon.
Went way longer than I thought.
Three and a half minutes?
Here, let me help you up.
Help me up.
Sir.
- You need to come see this.
- What is it?
It's about the chief, sir.
We think he's gone rogue.
Replay it, please.
The NATO base at Aviano just notified us
that Kim, Jones and Ulf entered the base
- about four hours ago.
- So?
So, apparently, the activation codes
for 100 lost suitcase nukes
just downloaded from their server.
Satellite imagery is tracking a van
heading to Rome.
Bring 'em all in now.
Get me the DOD.
We have to go to DEFCON one.
Isn't that a bit extreme?
We just found those nukes.
Kim and JJ supervised the mission.
The CIA will think we've gone rogue.
- We're as good as dead.
- Had to be done.
Won't be long now.
That's what you said an hour ago.
Hey, I know this is hard,
but you know the drill.
They'll make contact, show proof of life,
then give us the drop-off.
We'll get Connor.
Collin.
Right.
Oh, my God.
I never should've let you guys
go out unsupervised.
Uh, we were supervised.
You were spying on us, remember?
Apparently not well enough.
Maybe Bobbi's right.
I'm losing my edge.
What happened to it?
I didn't want to be just that guy anymore.
I wanted to be something... more.
Here we go.
Oh, my God, he looks so scared.
Okay, that's an industrial area
on the edge of the city.
We can get there in 30 minutes.
Let's roll.
That's the location.
Okay, boys, we're out of sight.
Uh, a few blocks away from you,
and satellite is up.
Any activity visible?
Negative.
That's weird.
No one's been in or out of there
in the last 24 hours.
It's a trap.
Oh, my God.
Kim. Wake up.
Kim!
Where are we?
I have no idea.
I've totally messed this up, JJ.
I put my son in great danger.
I haven't done much better.
Sophie's supposed to be having
the time of her life.
Instead, she's trying to track us down
before we're brutally killed,
saddling her with a lifetime
of debilitating guilt
and unresolved daddy issues
that she'll work out on a pole.
You're right. Yours is much worse.
Jason Jones.
It's been a minute.
Crane.
You son of a bitch.
What have you done with my son?
He's fine.
But if I were you,
I'd be much more concerned about... you.
Shoot.
They're gone.
Oh, my God, JJ.
Ugh. Our trackers have been dumped.
We're blind.
Maybe not.
I hacked JJ's phone in Venice.
And I have advanced
satellite tracking on this.
Okay.
What's this about?
Who are you working for?
Patience.
Looks like you've made
quite a life for yourself, JJ.
Maybe I'll pay them a visit
after you're dead.
Sophie's going to need a new daddy.
Enough. Time for work.
Nancy?
That's right, Jason Jones.
God, I love this thing.
Find Solo. I am Kylo Ren.
I don't understand.
When did you have time to color your hair?
I created a character
and infiltrated your world months ago.
That anonymous tip you got
on how to get the weapons cache?
That was me.
I got you to use your own agent
to steal the locations of the nukes.
And then I paid off the choir board
and got your son to Europe.
And that was all it took to get you
to evade your own CIA detail,
to come here and break into Aviano.
I've embedded myself
into every aspect of your lives.
So it was you who changed
all my passwords?
I haven't been able
to watch DIRECTV for a month.
What? No.
No, you idiot.
That was probably a program update.
You need to use
a two-step verification process now.
Yeah, it's true.
I had to do that for all my Google stuff.
You done?
And God forbid you enter
your password wrong.
You can get locked out of your own phone.
It's facial recognition.
Hello, my face hasn't changed.
I mean... Okay, stopping.
I'm going to need those codes now.
Where's my son?
First things first.
Get him down.
Never! I...
Yeah. Oh, yes, get me down.
You can't give her those codes.
People will die, Kim.
I'm as good as my word. A deal's a deal.
It's my boy.
Thank you.
Put him in the car and get rid of the boy.
No. You gave me your word!
I'm not gonna kill him. Crane is.
The boy was just bait,
and now you're my insurance.
Don't do this, please!
What are you really up to?
Let's just say this choir trip
has been very helpful.
What is that?
This is a powerful neurotoxin.
Every muscle in your body
will start to slowly seize up...
Including, finally, your diaphragm...
Whereupon...
You will suffocate and die.
Enjoy the ride, Jason Jones.
There he is.
- He's barely breathing.
- Start compressions.
Okay.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
What are you doing?
It's atropine and adrenaline.
It'll keep his heart going
till his body can metabolize the toxin.
Well, hurry.
JJ!
Oh, I don't feel so good.
Is Bobbi okay?
That's a lot of vomit.
- She'll be fine.
- Okay.
Where's Mr. Kim?
Oh, no.
We've got to get to Collin
before Crane kills him.
- What? Oh, God.
- We got to go. We got to go.
Hey. Wake up.
Hey.
Stop. That's not the way
you wake someone up.
You have to say their name.
Bobbi, wake up.
Bobbi, wake up!
Bobbi.
- Yes, yes.
- Bobbi.
- Help me.
- Let's go.
My arms and my legs
aren't working too good.
Yeah, and my face is killing me.
Did you see or hear anything
when you were dead?
Just the sound of you barfing.
You're gonna have to drive.
I can't drive if I'm gonna hack
traffic cameras to find Crane.
Well, I can't drive.
- I can drive.
- Negative.
We don't have time
to argue about this, JJ.
- I'm taking driver's ed soon.
- Yeah, in two years.
You've let me steer.
You know I can do this.
Okay. Okay, go for it.
You'll be fine.
Punch it, Chewie.
Your left!
- Whoa!
- On your right!
Oh, my God!
Good luck in driver's ed.
That's not helping.
- Does this go on my insurance?
- Reverse.
Go, go, go!
Not one word.
You did that on purpose.
- Did not.
- Can you guys cut it out?
I got a hit on their plate
from a traffic camera.
Satellite's tracking 'em north
through Chianti.
No!
Sorry, kid.
Run!
You're gonna tell me Nancy's plan.
What's wrong, JJ?
Neurotoxin got you down?
Oh, look. I forgot I had this.
Oh, come on! Let me do it.
No! I've seen you drive.
Why is she trying to kill you?
Aah! Sh...
- Oh, sh...
- Here, you-your turn.
She's trying to kill you,
but she's a terrible shot!
What?
That's Crane's.
JJ!
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Other than Bobbi shooting me.
- Sorry.
I'm fine. Can you crack this?
Ugh. With my eyes closed.
Is that how you shoot?
Yeah, it's just so loud and scary.
Do you want me to do that?
You're doing a terrible job.
It's going to scar.
- I don't care how I look.
- I know.
- How can he just...
- Okay, let's not watch.
I don't believe it. Any of it.
I mean, why would they take my dad?
He's just a nurse.
JJ will find him. I promise.
Ever since my mom died,
my dad's been totally overprotective.
He makes me FaceTime him
anytime I go anywhere.
And if I don't answer,
he FaceTimes my friends.
I know what you mean.
JJ treats me like I'm still nine.
I mean, he still walks me
to school every day
and tries to put me on his shoulders.
That's actually kind of cute.
Yeah, well, he's six-five, so one time,
I almost got decapitated by a ceiling fan.
The truth is, your dad is...
just trying to be a good dad.
Maybe JJ is, too.
They just need to realize
we're not kids anymore.
Yeah.
We're not.
Collin, I have to level with you, okay?
Your dad is the head of
covert operations for the CIA.
What?
And you're not going to believe this,
but Mrs. Buck is actually a terrorist.
Your dad traded himself in to save you.
Yeah.
It's for real.
How are you so calm?
I'm not.
Thanks for coming to save me.
You would've done the same for me.
Bring him.
It's somewhere here.
Break it open.
Who are you working for?
Let's just say
I represent a group
of very powerful people
who had their fortune frozen
by your government
and every one of its corrupt allies.
Oligarchs.
Friends. Patriots.
My husband was one of them.
Leaving him in financial ruin
drove him to his death.
Well, he was married to you,
so that may have also contributed.
I'm going to see to it we get back
all that is rightfully ours
and make those righteous nations pay,
with a little interest.
Suitcase nuke.
Must have been hidden behind this wall
for over 60 years.
And thanks to you,
our ticket to our reparations.
- Why hide it in a church?
- Who would search a church?
Plus, it wasn't necessarily intended
to go off here.
Just to be stored until the time
and moment was right.
You will never get away with this.
I've searched everything.
There's no clue of where they're headed
- or what they're gonna strike.
- I'm in.
Ugh, to his dating profile.
It's not helpful.
It's actually really sad.
I'm gonna try and grab some sleep
on a real bed.
- Good night, guys.
- Good night, Collin.
Night, Collin.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You should try to get some rest, too.
Can't. I'm not tired.
Collin seems like a nice kid.
Yeah, he's great.
- You know you're torturing him, right?
- What?
You can't tell?
He likes you.
I mean, like-likes you.
You're crazy. He's one of my best friends.
That's what all cute girls say
about guys they're torturing.
- Do you like him?
- Of course I like him.
But I like-like this kid named Ryan.
The jock?
Yeah.
For a highly trained operative,
you can be pretty blind.
I'm in.
For real this time.
I've got everything: emails, texts.
I also found this.
It's about how Nancy's husband died.
Whoa.
Hey, this is new.
From Nancy.
She sent this two hours ago.
What?
She's gonna detonate a WMD
under Rome's financial district.
We swept the sewers and ran into a signal
coming from behind a locked vault.
It looks like they're protecting
a central hub, just like you suggested.
- Have you breached it?
- Technical is setting up now.
We're clear.
Moving in.
There's nothing here. No WMD.
And look at this IED.
It's a fake.
I don't understand.
Seems like you got played.
We'd appreciate it
if you'll settle this game
in your own time, not ours.
Agent Jones just called in a fake
bomb threat under the financial district.
- That makes no sense.
- No, it doesn't.
Maps, fake IEDs. I don't get it.
That email... could it have
been sent to mislead us?
This was all a distraction.
Well, why would she need to distract us?
Where is she really?
I think I know.
We have equipment
for the choir performance to unload.
You'll never get all the way in...
Not with the G7 security.
Ordinarily, I'd say that you're right,
but I am not ordinary.
Prego.
Shouldn't we tell security
to clear the area?
Police aren't gonna believe me anymore.
Pretty sure that was part of Nancy's plan.
This place is massive.
My dad could be anywhere.
Wait, your dad's phone...
Crane destroyed it.
Did he carry a spare battery?
Always, for whenever he was "on call."
And all the phones issued at Langley have
E-tags on their batteries so they can be...
Tracked.
Bobbi, can you look up Kim's phone records
and find his battery's tracking signal?
Yes, but first, I'm gonna need
the Vatican's Wi-Fi password.
No, I'm not. I-I can do it.
What do you think it is?
"Pope"? Probably.
He's so full of himself.
We've cleared the room. Good luck.
Yeah, s, s. He just came through here.
Thank you.
Langley just located
a battery signal from Kim.
Quite inspiring, isn't it?
Some of the finest works of art
the world may never see,
stuck here in storage.
Well, this is where your journey ends
and mine is just beginning.
This is a
message for the leaders of the free world.
There is a bomb under the Vatican.
And we will
detonate it if our demands are not met.
And if you try to leave...
boom.
We've recently acquired the location
of a hundred nuclear weapons
hidden around the world.
We want $50 billion per G7 country,
or there will be no more G7 countries.
Wire transfer details will be sent
after this message.
You have 30 minutes to comply.
We got to move POTUS now.
Okay, the signal's getting stronger.
Okay. This is as far as you two go.
What are you talking about?
- This is way too dangerous.
- But I can help. I...
You guys need to get back
to the choir and warn them.
No, I'm not leaving here without you.
Hey.
It's been really great being on the same
team with you again the last couple days.
But I need you to let me
go at it alone from here.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
If we survive, the CIA better let us
write about this for our college apps.
Let's go.
You don't have to do this, Nancy.
What about all our children up there?
The choir has served its purpose.
They were just my Trojan horse.
How else could I get this close to the G7?
My God.
When they announced last spring
that the G7 session would bring together
all of the most corrupt leaders
who destroyed my life to this one spot,
this holiest of places,
it was too perfect to pass up.
As long as those self-righteous men
will listen to reason and pay,
no one needs to die, except for you.
Okay. You take down
the tough guys, I'll handle Nancy.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
She's a brain, not a fighter.
You can tell by the way she moves,
the way she carries herself,
the way she surrounds herself with large,
attractive men to do her bidding.
Did you hear the part where I said
"large, attractive men to do her bidding"?
That was meant for you.
Move.
Look what I found.
Oh, well, look who's back.
You just won't die, will you, JJ?
Well, I find your story
fascinating, Nancy.
I'd really like to see how it ends.
It could end like this.
Ugh.
Come on, old man. Get up.
You fight a lot like
your friends from the platoon.
All cowards.
They begged me not to kill them.
Callahan, Bridges,
even Christina.
Christina?
Yeah.
I planted a copy of the thumb drive
she stole in your home,
along with the gun I used to kill her.
It's not a good look for you, JJ.
You were in my home?
I spared the dog 'cause I'm a dog guy.
Oh, and I watered your plants,
you know, 'cause I'm a plant guy.
But Blueberry...
sleeps with the fishes.
Oh, shit.
And he should not have done that.
Forgive me, Lord,
for what I'm about to do.
Release the kraken.
Crane, if you could please stop moving,
I'd like to shoot JJ now...
See? Totally handled.
Why? I'm already tied up.
Quick, cut me loose.
- I'm going after Nancy.
- Gotcha.
Hey.
- Hey, where were you guys?
- Long story.
Where's Dr. Brookey?
Hey. I really missed you.
Ryan, seriously, okay?
I really need to tell him something.
Okay? We have got to get out of here.
There's...
Oh, my God.
I have Tasers on both of your backs.
Turn around quietly, or I'll use them.
Sophie?
My little muffin chop.
Ooh, you've grown.
Three words: Beeyoo. Tee. Full.
But... you were dead.
When Bobbi threw the grenades,
we ran back to our apartment
and dove into our new cast-iron tub.
If we went with Todd's idea
of white porcelain, we would be dead.
Hush.
Let's move, or I'll tell the real guards
you're phonies.
Aah! It's in my eyes!
Not fun, is it?
He activated a kill switch.
We have two ways
to stop this bomb from going off.
Either I can figure out
how to deactivate it
or we got to get
that kill switch from Crane.
On it.
How are you involved in this?
We used to work for the cartel.
That's how we met Bishop Crane.
He asked if we'd freelance
on this little shindig.
We said no at first, but our trip to Cabo
got postponed because of the hurricane,
and we're about to do a big reno,
so here we are.
You have to stop Nancy from doing this,
or we're all going to die.
- That is not gonna happen.
- Why not?
She cray, but she's also smart.
Nancy won't let this end with a bang.
Well, at least not while she's still here.
Do you know her exact 20?
Hmm.
It's been nice
catching up with you, Sophie,
but we have to end this little reunion
and get back to our post.
It's our job to make sure that
no one leaves before the show is over.
Like it is for you.
Get away from her.
Oh, isn't this cute?
It's the nerds from Stranger Things.
I forgot my medicine.
Feel less guilty about killing him
in my dream.
Why don't you join your friend
and get the hell out of here
before I kick your ass!
Hey!
Sophie!
- Oh, I don't think... He's already...
- Yeah, I didn't need to do that.
But thanks.
Sure. You were awesome.
Remind me to thank Ryan for all his help.
Come on. We've got to find JJ.
- What are you doing?
- Anything I can.
And now, from America, the children
from North Virginia High School.
Bobbi, where's JJ heading?
Sophie?
He's chasing the dude
with the kill switch.
Let's pray that he finds him,
'cause I cannot figure out
how to turn this thing off.
Tell them they have 23 minutes
to change their minds
or else they'll learn the hard way.
I'll be at the heliport in ten.
Freeze!
Connelly, you don't understand.
What have you done, Chief?
I'm not one of them.
If I were, you'd already be dead.
And you just let the real bad guy go.
What the hell is this all about?
How do we know you're telling the truth?
Connelly, who allowed you to use your
CIA credentials to spy on your ex-wife?
You did.
And, Hargear, who kept it quiet
when at the Langley checkpoint
security found something
vibrating in your bag?
All right, I trust him.
It was a toy for my kid.
You don't have any kids.
Guys, we need to evacuate everyone now.
We tried, but they say
it's not a credible threat.
Bottom line, no one's leaving.
My God.
So, what do we do now?
Put all our chips on JJ.
Bobbi, I need eyes on JJ.
Uh, headed north past Castel Sant'Angelo.
Last of your unit.
You should be proud, JJ.
Where is it?!
JJ.
Come on, JJ.
JJ.
Wait.
If this is heaven,
it's not what I expected.
No, no.
You did it.
Holy shit!
Yes!
Come on.
That's, like, three Hail Marys, tops.
Nancy Buck.
You're not going anywhere.
Really?
I could still smother the life
out of you right here.
Mamma, no.
Don't leave me again!
I promise I'll be good!
All right, all right.
Mamma...
I won't tell anyone you hit me anymore!
Please!
He's not my son.
Mamma, per favore.
Get off me!
Freeze! Get down on the ground
and spread 'em!
That was a close one, Chief.
I'm glad you're back.
- Dad.
- Collin.
Oh, my God.
I thought you were dead.
I thought you were a nurse.
We have a lot to talk about.
I was so scared I was gonna lose you.
Thanks for coming back for me.
You know you were
pretty good out there, right?
You're not a desk guy.
You should go back to being you.
I'll be fine.
I promise.
And I'm sorry for the way
I've been acting recently.
You don't have to apologize.
Been hard for me, emotionally,
just watching you grow up.
I didn't get to be a part
of your first nine years, and this part...
it's just going too fast.
I know you can take care of yourself.
That's what makes me a little sad.
I really like taking care of you.
I'm just dreading the day
you don't need me anymore.
Well, you have at least a week.
I think you're right about Collin.
I didn't see it at first, but thanks.
So, what I'm sensing here is,
basically, you've said I'm right.
Twice.
Don't get cocky.
Mr. Jones.
We need to take you to the hospital
for some observations.
Okay.
Can I come with him?
Uh, I'm sorry, miss. Are you family?
He's my dad.
Of course.
This is so weird.
I dreamed it would be a view like this
where I'd be standing here
with Ryan on this trip.
Maybe even have my first kiss.
I'm sorry it didn't work out
the way you wanted.
I'm not.
It's the right view,
but I had the wrong person.
Do you maybe want to go
to the homecoming dance with me?
Yeah. That'd be nice.
Whoa.
Do you think JJ's watching us somewhere?
Probably.
Oh, for the love of Pete, are you crying?
I'm not crying.
- You're crying.
- You cried first.
How much is this satellite
costing the CIA, anyway?
You don't want to know.
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm giving them some space.
All right. Fine.
Hey. You know, you and I
could end up being family someday.
Hey. This was a nice moment.
Let's not ruin it, okay?
Speaking of new family,
when we get back...
I'm gonna make
a lot of changes in my life.
Mm...
Yep. A lot of changes.
Isn't that right,
my little cleaner shrimp?
Mm...
Holy shit.
Hey.
That is so embarrassing.
- Really? I think it's kind of cute.
- Mm-mm.
Chief?
Do not move.
Yeah, no shit.
What do I do?
There's only one thing to do.
Run!
Get off me!
Connelly, what are you doing here?
Chief! It's a happy ending.
Connelly, you got a flight to catch.
Don't you think you should get moving?
I got plenty of time.
Come on, have a drink. Let's celebrate.
You know I don't drink while I'm on duty.
It's not professional.
One drink.
- Yeah!
- Come on!
That's me!
That's me!
That's me!
For always. I mean it.
And if you saw
the People's Choice Awards last night,
you saw a heck of a lot
of this guy's face.
Here's the number one single
in the country right now,
from Ryan King Kerr.
What are you working on?
Oh, I'm, um... I'm writing
a new song for my grandma.
I told her, if I won
a People's Choice Award,
I would write her a new song.
I guess I got a lot of work to do.
That's really sweet.
Yeah, well, she worries about me
after those recent threats.
I told her, as long as I got JJ as my
bodyguard, nothing's gonna happen to me.
Just glad the CIA gave you some time off.
That's right.
I'm gonna take a leak. You want anything?
Uh, maybe a water on your way back.
Oh, anything for the man who protects me.
Anything? I'd like you to teach me
how to play guitar.
What, with those ham hands?
Just think about playing the tuba.
Really think I can play the tuba?
You crack me up, JJ.
What a cute little dick.
Water?
- I couldn't help but overhear.
- Thank you.
Aah! Son of a...
Aah! Are you kidding me?
JJ, it's Sophie.
Coming in for extraction now.
Brace for impact.
Hey, not my People's Choice.
- Sophie?
- I got you.
It's gonna be okay.
How'd you know what they were planning?
That's not important.
So for the last time, can I go to the
homecoming dance with Ryan this Saturday?
Sorry.
You've got underwater training scheduled.
What are you doing?
- Hey, Sophie?
- Hmm?
I can't go to the dance with you.
I asked Olivia Rodrigo.
Hmm.
Wait.
No!
That was weird.
Here you go, Oz.
All right. Yeah.
Hey, Blueberry.
There you go, pal.
You're looking very handsome today.
Sophie, food's getting cold.
Made your favorite... scones.
But muffins are my favorite.
I tried making muffins,
but they didn't rise.
And now they are scones.
What is going on with your hair?
Still got bed head.
Supposed to be out the door.
It's fine.
I have free period this morning,
then seminar advisory,
which I can just blow off.
No, blowing off is a bad habit.
I'm not letting you start bad habits.
I need you there at 0900.
- Did you hear me, young lady?
- Mm-hmm.
Is that a "mm-hmm" like you heard me
or a "mm-hmm" like "shut up"?
Yes, I will be there at 0900.
Geez, just 'cause you think
you can act like my dad
doesn't mean that you are my dad.
'Cause you are not.
- Hey.
- Hey, babe.
- How are you?
- Well, we finally got here and settled in.
The people are so great.
And, boy, did they need us.
Nurses for Global Health to the rescue.
What's Rwanda like?
It's unbelievable.
But how about you? How's everything?
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, sweetheart.
Don't feed your scones to Ozzie.
And we have practice today... 1600.
Yes, drill sergeant.
It's called "four o'clock."
So, how's it really going?
I mean, my suggestions
used to be considered useful,
my jokes funny.
Today, after I simply reminded her
of the importance of punctuality,
she reminded me that I am not her dad.
But no, it's fine.
I'm not her real dad.
I'm just...
I don't know.
You have her training every day.
Try asking her what she wants to do
for a change.
Sophie loves the dojo.
- It's her thing.
- Her thing or yours?
Just ask her.
She might really appreciate that.
She's changing, JJ.
Be patient.
Perimeter?
Looks good.
Bobbi, can you show me the close camera?
And someone needs to finish
these scones that I baked
for my little girl who fed 'em to the dog.
These are pieces of my heart
that you're leaving on this plate, people.
I'll take one. Thank you.
Connelly.
What?
I'm on Lipitor. I'm allowed.
We got a bogey, six o'clock.
Well done, Christina.
You're clear to proceed.
Copy that. Wish you were with me, friend.
All right. That's the air-gapped server.
Gonna need
some help here, Bobbi.
- What do we got?
- Looks like the lock's a JET-08.
Sending data package now.
Christina, we got another bogey
approaching, ten o'clock.
Time to see if Kim's informant's right
and the data's actually here.
Good Lord.
We got seven more bogeys approaching.
Thirty seconds out.
Need more time.
- Christina, get out of there. Now!
- No, JJ, wait.
Christina, you've got this.
Got it. Got weapons locations
scattered globally.
I said move, damn it!
Almost done.
Three. Two.
One.
Hey. Good work, JJ.
Thanks.
- Little touch and go there, but...
- No, I mean the scones.
At first, I was disappointed
the raisins wasn't chocolate chips.
I was like,
"Where the chocolate chips at?"
'Cause all the scones I had
had chocolate chips before.
But then, about the fourth bite,
I was like, "Damn!"
They're currants. Thank you.
Uh, you okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
'Cause, uh, you're sweating
like you're going through menopause.
Christina had that,
and you almost shut it down.
But I didn't, did I?
Sir? You wanted to see me?
I heard we were successful. Congrats.
Yeah. Thank you.
So, what did this data reveal?
At the end of the Cold War,
when the Soviets were falling apart,
the KGB set out to hide weapons all around
the world for a potential first strike.
Suitcase nukes,
each weighing less than 50 pounds.
Portable so they can be moved
but carrying a blast capability
of one kiloton.
In 1973, NATO intelligence intercepted
a top secret Soviet document
containing activation codes
for these weapons.
But these weapons could not be found.
Over a hundred nukes went missing.
So, hopefully, this data that you helped
retrieve will tell us where they are.
- I'm glad that tip worked out.
- Yes.
Step one: finding them.
Step two: acquire and neutralize.
Step three: getting you back
in the field, JJ.
I need you to finish this mission.
You know I can't do that, sir.
When I moved here three years ago, I
made...
Yeah, I know.
You made a promise.
No more fieldwork,
focus more on intel and family.
I just want to live long enough
to walk Sophie down the aisle one day.
Fieldwork is behind me. I've changed.
Oh, quit the crap, JJ.
I need my number one bull elephant
heading this mission.
And Connelly can't do it.
He scheduled a colonoscopy.
He already picked up
the gallon of orange goo,
and he has to be near a latrine
for the next 48 hours.
Sir, I just want to serve
my country peacefully
and be the best father...
the best guardian I can be.
Scone?
They're sugar-free, but you'd
never guess if I didn't tell you.
They're really good.
Wait.
Oh, God.
- He's so good.
- So good.
That's the stuff, Ryan. Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Brookey.
Thank all of you.
Your focus this week
has been very impressive.
National choir rankings come out tonight,
and the top five schools
will be invited to tour Italy
with a command performance at the Vatican.
Fingers crossed.
See y'all tomorrow. Thank you.
- Nice going, Ryan.
- Good job, man.
All right.
Oh, you killed it.
Awkward.
- Sorry.
- Thank you, Sophie.
I appreciate that. Hey, you sounded great.
Oh, God.
Sophie, wait up.
Hey, I'm trying out
for the play next Thursday.
Want to help me run some lines?
I got to learn some Italian for this one.
Mm, accent's a little Super Mario,
but it's not bad.
- But I can't.
- Hey, Soph.
JJ's making pasta and wants me home.
He sure does love to cook.
Collin, how long have we been friends?
Since the first day you got here.
You were the only one
who showed me around.
Well, that's 'cause I felt bad.
I mean, look at you.
That hideous smile? You're doomed.
Okay. Seriously, I need your opinion.
Do you think Ryan would say yes
if I asked him to the homecoming dance?
You and Ryan?
Shouldn't he be asking you?
Well, he barely knows who I am.
I had a dream I asked him,
but it didn't go so well.
Look, I like the guy, but he's a jock.
The only reason why he joined choir
is because our football team sucks
and it's the only way
for him to meet girls.
Well, it worked.
He's got style. He's smart.
Smart? FYI, he drops his pants all the way
to the ground when he's at the urinal.
That's completely unnecessary.
Come on. For real.
Of course he'd say yes.
He'd be an idiot not to.
Thanks.
See ya.
I'm going to need that thumb drive.
The drive.
The real one.
I'll give your best to JJ.
Toodles.
Come on. Got to land that.
Look, I'm done, okay?
It's 5:30, and I've got stuff to do.
Like what? Catching up on your Snapchat?
Yeah, I wish I could, but my iPhone
is so old it overheats after three texts.
Keep your grades up,
then maybe for your birthday.
Come on, another set.
It's the only time we get to hang out.
No, I can't, okay? I just...
I've got too much homework.
If you want to be a great agent,
you got to put in the time.
Yeah, well, I have other interests now
that also require my time.
You used to really want to be an agent.
It's all you ever talked about.
Yeah, well, I also wanted
to be Dora the Explorer.
I've changed.
Okay? And so have you.
I mean, being in the field
is all you used to talk about,
and now you prefer
making pasta and scones.
Well, I think it's just another excuse
to skip practice and take the easy road.
And you're not hitting your high kicks,
your punching speed is slow,
and I haven't seen you pick up a knife
in like three weeks.
Okay, I take back
the knife comment.
But everything else still stands.
Sophie.
Wait.
Hey. I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow's Saturday. Forget practice.
What would you like to do?
Whatever. Can go to a museum,
catch a movie, whatever you want.
Oh, my God,
my choir is top five.
Oh, my God, I'm going to Italy.
Oh, I'm going to Italy!
Italy!
Chaperoning? You're serious?
Yeah. Kim approved it.
Well, just say you can't do it.
Like a normal dad who can't take you
to your first concert
because he's suddenly too busy
with his second family
that's no longer a secret.
Wow. That's specific.
Look, I became an analyst so I could be
your eyes and ears as a partner.
But the last few years, you, the badass,
has become an analyst, too.
And now I just help Connelly,
who, like, never invites me
to his trivia nights.
- Have you been invited?
- Mm...
It's like I don't even recognize you.
You just sit there like an avocado
getting older and softer.
- Because I'm chaperoning a trip?
- Yeah.
You're sounding kind of sexist.
I can't hear you... over your vagina!
Sorry, was that too sexist?
Why don't you go cry about it to HR?
Enjoy your trip.
Ugh. Connelly.
Lot of vagina talk.
I know.
So, chaperone?
I chaperoned three Boy Scout overnights
with my son. They're a piece of cake.
Really? Got any advice?
It's kind of an important trip for us.
Trick is you got to give them a taste
of adulthood but with a safe perimeter.
- What do you mean?
- You're going to Europe, right?
- Yeah.
- On a field trip.
Let her let her hair down.
Let her stay up past her bedtime,
run in a field, taste some wine.
Surprise her. Open up the rules.
And the clincher... if you can make
her friends like you, you're in.
You'll be your kid's hero.
- Her friends, huh?
- Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Who wants to go to Italy?
Gather in your assigned groups,
and let's get this show on the road.
- How do you know your group?
- Don't you read the emails?
- What emails?
- Geez.
I also texted you a list
of some ground rules.
- Ground rules?
- Yes.
I think some basic guidelines are in order
if this is going to be
a successful trip for you and me.
- "We are not roommates"?
- Correct.
I will be sharing a room with my friends.
"Rule two: Visiting hours are limited
to one hour a day."
Which brings us to our next rule.
For God's sake.
Do I just constantly embarrass you?
Not constantly.
- Nice fanny pack, by the way.
- Thank you.
You must be JJ.
I'm Nancy Buck, the new vice principal.
I'll be traveling with you, helping out.
Let me introduce you
to the other chaperones.
JJ, meet Linda, Ted, Z,
Sharonne, Alex and Sam.
Hey.
Linda and Alex have done two tours,
so when you need help,
don't hesitate to ask.
- We've got your back.
- All right.
Now, I think I got this.
Oh, he's got this.
JJ's a G-man.
Works for the government... CIA.
I'm just an analyst now.
You've probably seen it all, JJ.
Yeah, pretty much.
So you know what to do when a kid
cries all night because he's homesick?
Or when someone from Linda's group crawls
into bed with someone from Alex's group?
Or when a girl from your own group
gets her period
and has run out of tampons?
That's a trick question.
'Cause we don't talk about periods
because they're embarrassing and private.
You think the female body is embarrassing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
I mean, uh, no. No, of course not.
Pass. Next question.
- Are you sure you can handle this?
- Yes, ma'am.
Good. These kids are at a tricky age.
Raging hormones, poor impulse control.
Plus, the numbers are stacked
against us 15 to one.
So stay frosty, soldier boy,
because if you can't hack it,
I will dump your ass from chaperone
to the shadow tour
with the other loser parents
who want to stay in the nicer hotels
and sip chardonnay from a distance.
The ones who are too afraid
to get their hands dirty
in the crap bowl of American youth.
I did not love that conversation.
So, my name is JJ, and I'm your chaperone.
Okay. Huddle up, guys. Come on.
All right, for this mission,
our squad's going into foreign territory,
so to succeed,
we're gonna have to maintain
a high level of situational awareness.
Which means we're gonna
have to look out for each other.
Hey, can you put that down, please?
Sorry.
But I really wanted us to get off
on the right foot, so I brought you guys
some fresh-baked cookies...
and some White Claws.
Hey, we're gonna get so wasted.
What the hell are you doing?
You want to get us kicked off this trip?
You cannot give these kids alcohol.
It's not real.
I had Langley fabricate the cans
with some carbonated water.
Well, that's putting our tax dollars
to good use.
What were you thinking?
First of all, you don't pay taxes.
Second, I just want us to have a good time
and I want your friends to like me.
You don't
have to walk me in, Dad.
Ah, of course I do.
I'm not gonna see you for ten whole days.
Give me a kiss. Come on.
- Dad.
- Oh, don't Nemo me.
Kiss me on the cheek, or so help me,
when this bus pulls away,
I will run after you screaming,
"Hey, Collin, you forgot
your diarrhea medication!"
- Okay. Okay.
- All right.
There you go. Was that so hard?
Please, Dad, stop.
Okay, one-one more, one more.
- Bye, Dad.
- Goodbye.
Oh, I have something more to tell you.
- Bye, Dad.
- Okay.
What? There's nothing wrong
with expressing your feelings.
What about expressing your saliva
all over Collin's cheek?
My son is the reason I agreed
to give you this time off.
I want you to keep an eye on him.
He's sensitive.
This is gonna be the first time
Collin hasn't slept in his own bed
since his mom died three years ago.
Don't worry. He'll be in good hands.
What's up with the Peppa Pig scrubs?
You know, Collin still thinks
I'm a pediatric nurse.
When are you gonna tell him that you're
the head of covert operations for the CIA?
Keeping him in the dark keeps him safe.
And I trust you told Sophie
not to tell him?
- Yeah. Many times.
- I got to go.
Have fun with the choir, JJ.
Thanks, Chief.
Was that as bad as it felt?
A man making out with his son?
No, it wasn't great.
Collin!
I love you!
He's so embarrassing.
Collin!
I'll be right back.
I got to run to the store
and buy some tampons.
Acknowledge me!
Are you guys seeing this? St. Mark's.
It was consecrated
over a thousand years ago.
And, uh, that's...
that's the doge's palace,
apparently Venice's most iconic landmark.
And I'm having an affair with Lady Gaga.
I can say this because
no one's listening or cares.
Maybe they're all wasted
from the fake White Claws.
Funny.
Here. I got you something.
I know it's not your birthday,
but I wanted to wait till we got here
to give you this.
- Really?
- Open it.
It's not an iPhone, but this is better.
Enhanced tracking, satellite capabilities,
a stun light and a built-in Taser.
And the best thing about this...
When you're done with it,
just throw it away.
You got me a used burner phone.
Maybe I can use it to buy some meth
or order a hit man.
Don't be ridiculous.
If you need a hit man,
come to me for the referral.
I got you a spare battery.
Now, Langley puts E-tags on these
so they can track them if they're lost.
Don't even think about losing it,
'cause those are expensive.
You're welcome.
Hi, JJ.
Second-guessing your decision
to come on this trip?
No, not at all, although...
it is a little like herding kittens.
How is it anything like hurting kittens?
No, herding.
Herd-ing kittens.
Ah. 'Kay.
Anyway, we made it,
and as long as bed check was fine
and the kids are all squared away,
we are good.
Yep. All good.
Great. Just remember
I need your bed check roll call
emailed to me every night at 10:00 sharp.
I've got a lot of nervous parents
that I need to keep happy.
Got it. Ten sharp.
- Have a good night, then.
- Good night.
Bed check.
Oh, God.
Bed check.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Bed check.
Sophie?
Bed check.
Spin the bottle?
Throw those bottles away.
Start cleaning up.
Fiona, you okay?
I can't believe you guys
went out and got beer.
I'm coming in.
Whoever's in there better have clothes on.
What is going on here?
Um, we're just rehearsing.
It is 10:05, JJ.
Where's my bed check update?
This will be a final reminder that there
will be zero tolerance for missing curfew.
Yeah, no, that's on me.
I mean, failing to prepare
is preparing for failure.
- It won't happen again.
- I hope not.
Please don't have me
do your job for you again.
- Back to your rooms, everyone.
- Okay. Come on, guys. Let's go.
This is your fault.
You got us in trouble.
- I got you out of trouble.
- Really?
You drew the vice principal straight to us
because you forgot to do your job.
And I could've turned you in
to Cruella de Nancy, but I didn't.
You're the one that snuck out,
and you're getting mad at me?
Yes, because I was this close
to having my first...
Okay.
I did nothing wrong.
You have got to give me some space.
Well, I can't.
Because you asked me to come,
and now I've got a job to do.
JJ, I am going to have fun on this trip,
and if you're going to get in my way,
then consider yourself the opposition.
The opposition? Really? Me?
Do you know who you're talking to?
I'm an Army Ranger
who survived five tours of duty.
I can survive one choir tour.
You know how Christina
was supposed to bring
that thumb drive to the Berlin embassy?
- Yeah.
- She never arrived.
Get me chief of station Berlin.
All right, we've got an hour
till the buses leave for Florence.
- Let's pack 'em and stack 'em.
- Yes, ma'am.
Hey.
Do you guys want to sneak out tonight
when we get to Florence?
You're not worried about
getting in trouble again?
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Yeah, 'cause statistically,
we've only gotten in trouble
one out of one times on this trip so far.
Guys, if you look out to the left,
you will see the Santa Maria Novella.
It says that it was built
in the first half of the 13th century
and it's considered
one of the most important points
of religious
and artistic interest in Italy.
And hey, if you look to the right,
you will see the Duomo.
Uh, there it is. There it is.
I can't actually... can't believe
that we're here seeing that.
You see that, guys?
Right over there?
Look how amazing that is.
Are you guys excited to see that? I am.
Hey, guys.
Let's turn in early
so we're fresh for tomorrow, all right?
Okay, JJ. By the way,
I enjoyed your guided tour.
I had no idea the Duomo
took 142 years to build.
Thanks, Collin.
Don't be such a kiss-ass.
He was terrible.
That guided tour took
142 years off my life.
I know, but the best way to sneak
past the warden is to be his best friend.
What was he so cheery about?
Good question.
So, how late is this place open?
I don't know.
But I do know it has
the best gelato in Italy.
It's the perfect place
to ask Ryan to homecoming.
Oh, geez.
Please, Collin.
I need you to do this for me.
I'll owe you forever.
Whoa.
I have a camera in the plug
and one in the vent.
What's he doing?
A tracker.
Not as smart as you think you are, JJ.
Where'd you learn how to do all this?
Ironically, he taught me.
That's so cool.
- Really?
- Yeah.
My dad's totally boring.
What are you talking about? Your dad's...
probably cooler than you think he is.
Unlikely.
It's almost time for bed check.
It's now or never. I got to get ready.
What about JJ? He leaves his door open.
How do we get by?
Trust me.
I know all his moves.
Follow me.
Hey, come on, man. You got this.
Oh, God.
Damn.
- How'd you find the trackers?
- Nanny-cammed you.
- Nice.
- How'd you get us?
- Trip-wired the boys' door.
- Not bad.
Now, why don't you guys turn around
and go back to your rooms.
- JJ.
- No, I mean it. Now.
Sorry, guys.
All right, I'll tell you what.
I'll let you guys stay up
a little past your bedtime.
There is 40 minutes to curfew.
If you guys promise to be
back in your rooms in 35 minutes,
I'll pretend like I didn't see you.
Thank you, Mr. Jones.
Hey, you're pretty cool.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
How much do I owe you?
There it is. Just ahead.
What? Oh.
Oh, no. I totally left my medicine
back at the hotel.
I better go get it.
It's for worms.
I got pinworms from my dog.
But don't worry, the medicine's working
and I'm turning the corner on the worms.
My butt hardly itches at all anymore.
I'll catch up with you later.
- That was weird.
- Yeah.
I'm never gonna live that down.
Now say exactly what I say to the server.
That's dope.
I didn't know you could speak Italian.
Well, yeah.
Uh, I didn't, either, till just now.
Oh, maybe if you helped me
rehearse for the play,
you'd know I learned some Italian.
Now, tell the server...
So cool. Hey, listen,
I'll get the next one, okay?
The next one?
Yeah.
I like hanging out with you.
Let's take a pic. Come on.
Hey, something's really wrong.
I'm so sorry, but I'll be right back.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Sorry. Scusa.
Oh, damn it.
Damn it. How much do I owe you?
Whoa.
Are you okay?
They took Collin.
- Who took Collin?
- I don't know.
How's my little cocoa bean?
We have
your son, Mr. Kim.
Come to Rome alone
to the following coordinates
for further instructions.
If you tell anyone, including the CIA,
we'll know and the boy dies.
- Something just happened.
- Stop.
Nothing over the phone.
Cover Collin's absence.
Get to Rome ASAP.
I'll send you the coordinates.
Don't do or say anything
until I get there.
There's no knowing who's involved.
Here.
You recognize him.
Yeah. Bishop Crane.
He's as bad as they come.
Assassination, extortion, trafficking.
There's nothing he won't do for money.
Why would he want to kidnap Collin?
JJ, what are you not telling me?
We were in the Special Forces together.
Crane was the new guy in an elite unit
doing drug interdiction in Colombia.
He sold us out to the cartel,
made millions.
Your unit?
I was the only one who survived.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
If Crane is involved,
whoever he's working for is very powerful.
I've got to get the other chaperones
to cover for me.
You won't be safe here.
You're coming with me.
Where are we going?
There he is.
Wait.
We got to keep our distance.
He's being watched.
All right, come on.
Get in.
I asked you to do one thing.
One. You failed.
This would've never happened
under the old JJ's watch.
Bobbi? What are you doing here?
I asked her to be here.
I needed a tech, and everybody knows
techs are basically expendable.
Right.
The better question is:
What are you doing here?
- Collin is my friend.
- Yeah.
And if whoever Crane is working for
knows about you, then they know about me.
Which also means Sophie's at risk.
I can't leave her behind.
Chief, what is that?
About to find out.
Breach NATO vault at Aviano.
Retrieve activation codes
to trade for your son.
Whoa.
Aviano?
It's an air base.
Activation codes?
Christina never made it to Berlin
with that thumb drive.
If these kidnappers have that drive...
It would mean they would know the location
of a hundred missing nukes.
Why you?
They need someone who can get in.
My rank with the CIA will grant me access
to any NATO base.
Yeah, but getting into the vault
under heavy security
is gonna be nearly impossible.
Which is why we need
to make one stop first.
Why are you doing this?
We don't have any money.
You know, you remind me
a little of myself at your age.
I hated myself at your age.
All right, listen up, everybody.
There have been
a lot of rumors flying around,
so I wanted to take a moment
to address them.
First of all, everything's fine.
Collin needed to return home
due to a family emergency,
and JJ and Sophie are accompanying.
I'll keep you all updated.
But in the meantime,
who's excited to go to Rome
and sing at the Vatican?
Yeah.
This is an MI6 safe house.
It's got everything we need
for this mission:
weapons, external hard drive
for the codes.
There's even a surveillance van
in the garage.
Best of all, no one's here right now.
Day manager is this little old lady
who goes home at 7:00.
You sure we shouldn't loop in CIA,
get support from local authorities?
I'm not risking my son, JJ.
- This is the only way to play it.
- Hmm.
Looks like a pretty solid
security camera system on the perimeter.
Yes, but on the ground floor only.
We'll break in from the second story.
Put this on till we're inside.
Okay, we're in and out in five minutes.
Let's go.
The old lady's got a lot of birds.
Yeah, let's get to work.
But let's be careful.
A lot of these safe houses
are booby-trapped for security.
Got everything?
- Yeah. Let's move.
- Okay.
There's the van.
Just time the gap.
Jump through.
Time the gap?
I need a much bigger gap than you.
Huh.
How'd the birds get out?
I don't know.
Hey, little guys.
Booby trap!
Get 'em off!
What's that lady feed these things?
My guess? Nothing!
Oh, thank God.
Oh, shit.
JJ, now!
Who the hell trains attack finches?
British have a strange sense of humor.
We better move.
We may have company.
Goodbye, nasty widdle birdies.
Aw, did that hurt your widdle beak?
Fucker.
- So you're like, what, ten now?
- Fourteen.
Like I said, 14.
Got any boyfriends yet?
Uh...
I don't know, maybe.
Oh. Okay.
I knew it. That's why I'm an analyst.
Although you got my age wrong.
Here's some advice.
When you go in for that first kiss,
don't be afraid to use lots of tongue.
Get sloppy.
- Really?
- Oh, heck yeah.
Be like a cleaner shrimp
in a shark's mouth.
Explore that wet hole
like a blind man's cane.
Wow.
You know, it's really surprising
no one's snatched you up yet.
Yeah, well, I do the snatching.
Hey, did you shut the fan off?
No. Why?
Oh!
This is taking too long.
They're highly trained professionals.
They'll be fine.
They're eating my nipples!
Or maybe not.
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
Kim, CIA.
We're here to see Colonel Minelli.
All right, the vault with the codes
is in that building.
Bobbi, can you hack through security
and get access?
What, am I new?
And?
- So, what, that's it?
- Of course not.
Let me just whip the spreadsheet
with the detailed plan out of my ass.
Yes, that's it.
Kim, you son of a bitch.
You guys on good terms?
- He's like a brother.
- Oh, that's nice.
In that he hates me,
we were in love with the same woman
and I owe him about eight grand.
Colonel, it's good to see you.
This is my good friend Colonel Minelli,
who has a lot of trouble
expressing his affection.
And, Colonel, this is my...
stepbrother JJ, who is loaning us his van,
my stepdaughter Sophie and my...
wife Bobbi.
You're about ten years late.
Did you bring me my money?
Of course.
Welcome, my old friend!
- Benvenuta.
- Mm-hmm.
Benvenuta.
Benvenut...Yeah.
Why did you decide to come here now
after all of these years?
Family vacay.
Heading north to Lake Como.
We thought we'd stop in, say hello
and settle some old business.
But that does not make sense,
because Lake Como is west.
That's what I've been telling them.
But no, because Mom and Dad
are too busy arguing to listen to me,
and Uncle JJ can't hear anything
because his ears are cauliflowered shut.
Dua Lipa?
Oh, she's good. Yeah.
Okay.
Honey, um, can you two boys do
your catching up quickly?
'Cause Sophie and I need
to use the restroom
and we have those dinner reservations
I've been so looking forward to.
Mm-mm.
Your stepbrother is quite large.
Yes. He used to do MMA,
hence the hearing damage.
Well, you picked a good day to visit.
Oh? How is that?
Oh, boy.
It's just down the hall and to the right.
- I'll wait here.
- Grazie.
Okay.
Oh. Electromagnetic radiation readings.
This must be the server room.
Here.
A way for the men
to blow off some steam.
- I can see that.
- It's good to see you, Kim.
And I'm glad you came here
to finally settle your debt.
Yes, about that...
Nine thousand euros should cover
everything you owe me, plus interest.
I forgot it was that much.
Do you take Discover?
Cash only.
But maybe he can help pay your debt.
Let's go double or nothing.
We have got to tread water
while Bobbi gets the codes.
Most of the men on this base must be
in here, so it's the perfect diversion.
I'd knock that guy out in ten seconds.
Negative. You'll engage with him
until I give you the all clear.
You end this fight any sooner,
and you'll be doing desk duty
for the rest of your career.
I want to be on desk duty.
I meant you won't be doing desk duty
for the rest of your career.
- Is the password working?
- Give me a minute.
Oh, Kim better be right about this.
Your friend fights like a gelding,
afraid to hit.
Come on, Bobbi.
I'm in.
Hurry. We have to make this quick.
Oh, we do?
'Cause I thought we could do a TikTok
and have a snack.
Now, JJ. Now.
But I do take traveler's checks.
- What happened? I gave you the signal.
- What-what...
I can't breathe. It's like a marathon.
Went way longer than I thought.
Three and a half minutes?
Here, let me help you up.
Help me up.
Sir.
- You need to come see this.
- What is it?
It's about the chief, sir.
We think he's gone rogue.
Replay it, please.
The NATO base at Aviano just notified us
that Kim, Jones and Ulf entered the base
- about four hours ago.
- So?
So, apparently, the activation codes
for 100 lost suitcase nukes
just downloaded from their server.
Satellite imagery is tracking a van
heading to Rome.
Bring 'em all in now.
Get me the DOD.
We have to go to DEFCON one.
Isn't that a bit extreme?
We just found those nukes.
Kim and JJ supervised the mission.
The CIA will think we've gone rogue.
- We're as good as dead.
- Had to be done.
Won't be long now.
That's what you said an hour ago.
Hey, I know this is hard,
but you know the drill.
They'll make contact, show proof of life,
then give us the drop-off.
We'll get Connor.
Collin.
Right.
Oh, my God.
I never should've let you guys
go out unsupervised.
Uh, we were supervised.
You were spying on us, remember?
Apparently not well enough.
Maybe Bobbi's right.
I'm losing my edge.
What happened to it?
I didn't want to be just that guy anymore.
I wanted to be something... more.
Here we go.
Oh, my God, he looks so scared.
Okay, that's an industrial area
on the edge of the city.
We can get there in 30 minutes.
Let's roll.
That's the location.
Okay, boys, we're out of sight.
Uh, a few blocks away from you,
and satellite is up.
Any activity visible?
Negative.
That's weird.
No one's been in or out of there
in the last 24 hours.
It's a trap.
Oh, my God.
Kim. Wake up.
Kim!
Where are we?
I have no idea.
I've totally messed this up, JJ.
I put my son in great danger.
I haven't done much better.
Sophie's supposed to be having
the time of her life.
Instead, she's trying to track us down
before we're brutally killed,
saddling her with a lifetime
of debilitating guilt
and unresolved daddy issues
that she'll work out on a pole.
You're right. Yours is much worse.
Jason Jones.
It's been a minute.
Crane.
You son of a bitch.
What have you done with my son?
He's fine.
But if I were you,
I'd be much more concerned about... you.
Shoot.
They're gone.
Oh, my God, JJ.
Ugh. Our trackers have been dumped.
We're blind.
Maybe not.
I hacked JJ's phone in Venice.
And I have advanced
satellite tracking on this.
Okay.
What's this about?
Who are you working for?
Patience.
Looks like you've made
quite a life for yourself, JJ.
Maybe I'll pay them a visit
after you're dead.
Sophie's going to need a new daddy.
Enough. Time for work.
Nancy?
That's right, Jason Jones.
God, I love this thing.
Find Solo. I am Kylo Ren.
I don't understand.
When did you have time to color your hair?
I created a character
and infiltrated your world months ago.
That anonymous tip you got
on how to get the weapons cache?
That was me.
I got you to use your own agent
to steal the locations of the nukes.
And then I paid off the choir board
and got your son to Europe.
And that was all it took to get you
to evade your own CIA detail,
to come here and break into Aviano.
I've embedded myself
into every aspect of your lives.
So it was you who changed
all my passwords?
I haven't been able
to watch DIRECTV for a month.
What? No.
No, you idiot.
That was probably a program update.
You need to use
a two-step verification process now.
Yeah, it's true.
I had to do that for all my Google stuff.
You done?
And God forbid you enter
your password wrong.
You can get locked out of your own phone.
It's facial recognition.
Hello, my face hasn't changed.
I mean... Okay, stopping.
I'm going to need those codes now.
Where's my son?
First things first.
Get him down.
Never! I...
Yeah. Oh, yes, get me down.
You can't give her those codes.
People will die, Kim.
I'm as good as my word. A deal's a deal.
It's my boy.
Thank you.
Put him in the car and get rid of the boy.
No. You gave me your word!
I'm not gonna kill him. Crane is.
The boy was just bait,
and now you're my insurance.
Don't do this, please!
What are you really up to?
Let's just say this choir trip
has been very helpful.
What is that?
This is a powerful neurotoxin.
Every muscle in your body
will start to slowly seize up...
Including, finally, your diaphragm...
Whereupon...
You will suffocate and die.
Enjoy the ride, Jason Jones.
There he is.
- He's barely breathing.
- Start compressions.
Okay.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
What are you doing?
It's atropine and adrenaline.
It'll keep his heart going
till his body can metabolize the toxin.
Well, hurry.
JJ!
Oh, I don't feel so good.
Is Bobbi okay?
That's a lot of vomit.
- She'll be fine.
- Okay.
Where's Mr. Kim?
Oh, no.
We've got to get to Collin
before Crane kills him.
- What? Oh, God.
- We got to go. We got to go.
Hey. Wake up.
Hey.
Stop. That's not the way
you wake someone up.
You have to say their name.
Bobbi, wake up.
Bobbi, wake up!
Bobbi.
- Yes, yes.
- Bobbi.
- Help me.
- Let's go.
My arms and my legs
aren't working too good.
Yeah, and my face is killing me.
Did you see or hear anything
when you were dead?
Just the sound of you barfing.
You're gonna have to drive.
I can't drive if I'm gonna hack
traffic cameras to find Crane.
Well, I can't drive.
- I can drive.
- Negative.
We don't have time
to argue about this, JJ.
- I'm taking driver's ed soon.
- Yeah, in two years.
You've let me steer.
You know I can do this.
Okay. Okay, go for it.
You'll be fine.
Punch it, Chewie.
Your left!
- Whoa!
- On your right!
Oh, my God!
Good luck in driver's ed.
That's not helping.
- Does this go on my insurance?
- Reverse.
Go, go, go!
Not one word.
You did that on purpose.
- Did not.
- Can you guys cut it out?
I got a hit on their plate
from a traffic camera.
Satellite's tracking 'em north
through Chianti.
No!
Sorry, kid.
Run!
You're gonna tell me Nancy's plan.
What's wrong, JJ?
Neurotoxin got you down?
Oh, look. I forgot I had this.
Oh, come on! Let me do it.
No! I've seen you drive.
Why is she trying to kill you?
Aah! Sh...
- Oh, sh...
- Here, you-your turn.
She's trying to kill you,
but she's a terrible shot!
What?
That's Crane's.
JJ!
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Other than Bobbi shooting me.
- Sorry.
I'm fine. Can you crack this?
Ugh. With my eyes closed.
Is that how you shoot?
Yeah, it's just so loud and scary.
Do you want me to do that?
You're doing a terrible job.
It's going to scar.
- I don't care how I look.
- I know.
- How can he just...
- Okay, let's not watch.
I don't believe it. Any of it.
I mean, why would they take my dad?
He's just a nurse.
JJ will find him. I promise.
Ever since my mom died,
my dad's been totally overprotective.
He makes me FaceTime him
anytime I go anywhere.
And if I don't answer,
he FaceTimes my friends.
I know what you mean.
JJ treats me like I'm still nine.
I mean, he still walks me
to school every day
and tries to put me on his shoulders.
That's actually kind of cute.
Yeah, well, he's six-five, so one time,
I almost got decapitated by a ceiling fan.
The truth is, your dad is...
just trying to be a good dad.
Maybe JJ is, too.
They just need to realize
we're not kids anymore.
Yeah.
We're not.
Collin, I have to level with you, okay?
Your dad is the head of
covert operations for the CIA.
What?
And you're not going to believe this,
but Mrs. Buck is actually a terrorist.
Your dad traded himself in to save you.
Yeah.
It's for real.
How are you so calm?
I'm not.
Thanks for coming to save me.
You would've done the same for me.
Bring him.
It's somewhere here.
Break it open.
Who are you working for?
Let's just say
I represent a group
of very powerful people
who had their fortune frozen
by your government
and every one of its corrupt allies.
Oligarchs.
Friends. Patriots.
My husband was one of them.
Leaving him in financial ruin
drove him to his death.
Well, he was married to you,
so that may have also contributed.
I'm going to see to it we get back
all that is rightfully ours
and make those righteous nations pay,
with a little interest.
Suitcase nuke.
Must have been hidden behind this wall
for over 60 years.
And thanks to you,
our ticket to our reparations.
- Why hide it in a church?
- Who would search a church?
Plus, it wasn't necessarily intended
to go off here.
Just to be stored until the time
and moment was right.
You will never get away with this.
I've searched everything.
There's no clue of where they're headed
- or what they're gonna strike.
- I'm in.
Ugh, to his dating profile.
It's not helpful.
It's actually really sad.
I'm gonna try and grab some sleep
on a real bed.
- Good night, guys.
- Good night, Collin.
Night, Collin.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You should try to get some rest, too.
Can't. I'm not tired.
Collin seems like a nice kid.
Yeah, he's great.
- You know you're torturing him, right?
- What?
You can't tell?
He likes you.
I mean, like-likes you.
You're crazy. He's one of my best friends.
That's what all cute girls say
about guys they're torturing.
- Do you like him?
- Of course I like him.
But I like-like this kid named Ryan.
The jock?
Yeah.
For a highly trained operative,
you can be pretty blind.
I'm in.
For real this time.
I've got everything: emails, texts.
I also found this.
It's about how Nancy's husband died.
Whoa.
Hey, this is new.
From Nancy.
She sent this two hours ago.
What?
She's gonna detonate a WMD
under Rome's financial district.
We swept the sewers and ran into a signal
coming from behind a locked vault.
It looks like they're protecting
a central hub, just like you suggested.
- Have you breached it?
- Technical is setting up now.
We're clear.
Moving in.
There's nothing here. No WMD.
And look at this IED.
It's a fake.
I don't understand.
Seems like you got played.
We'd appreciate it
if you'll settle this game
in your own time, not ours.
Agent Jones just called in a fake
bomb threat under the financial district.
- That makes no sense.
- No, it doesn't.
Maps, fake IEDs. I don't get it.
That email... could it have
been sent to mislead us?
This was all a distraction.
Well, why would she need to distract us?
Where is she really?
I think I know.
We have equipment
for the choir performance to unload.
You'll never get all the way in...
Not with the G7 security.
Ordinarily, I'd say that you're right,
but I am not ordinary.
Prego.
Shouldn't we tell security
to clear the area?
Police aren't gonna believe me anymore.
Pretty sure that was part of Nancy's plan.
This place is massive.
My dad could be anywhere.
Wait, your dad's phone...
Crane destroyed it.
Did he carry a spare battery?
Always, for whenever he was "on call."
And all the phones issued at Langley have
E-tags on their batteries so they can be...
Tracked.
Bobbi, can you look up Kim's phone records
and find his battery's tracking signal?
Yes, but first, I'm gonna need
the Vatican's Wi-Fi password.
No, I'm not. I-I can do it.
What do you think it is?
"Pope"? Probably.
He's so full of himself.
We've cleared the room. Good luck.
Yeah, s, s. He just came through here.
Thank you.
Langley just located
a battery signal from Kim.
Quite inspiring, isn't it?
Some of the finest works of art
the world may never see,
stuck here in storage.
Well, this is where your journey ends
and mine is just beginning.
This is a
message for the leaders of the free world.
There is a bomb under the Vatican.
And we will
detonate it if our demands are not met.
And if you try to leave...
boom.
We've recently acquired the location
of a hundred nuclear weapons
hidden around the world.
We want $50 billion per G7 country,
or there will be no more G7 countries.
Wire transfer details will be sent
after this message.
You have 30 minutes to comply.
We got to move POTUS now.
Okay, the signal's getting stronger.
Okay. This is as far as you two go.
What are you talking about?
- This is way too dangerous.
- But I can help. I...
You guys need to get back
to the choir and warn them.
No, I'm not leaving here without you.
Hey.
It's been really great being on the same
team with you again the last couple days.
But I need you to let me
go at it alone from here.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
If we survive, the CIA better let us
write about this for our college apps.
Let's go.
You don't have to do this, Nancy.
What about all our children up there?
The choir has served its purpose.
They were just my Trojan horse.
How else could I get this close to the G7?
My God.
When they announced last spring
that the G7 session would bring together
all of the most corrupt leaders
who destroyed my life to this one spot,
this holiest of places,
it was too perfect to pass up.
As long as those self-righteous men
will listen to reason and pay,
no one needs to die, except for you.
Okay. You take down
the tough guys, I'll handle Nancy.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
She's a brain, not a fighter.
You can tell by the way she moves,
the way she carries herself,
the way she surrounds herself with large,
attractive men to do her bidding.
Did you hear the part where I said
"large, attractive men to do her bidding"?
That was meant for you.
Move.
Look what I found.
Oh, well, look who's back.
You just won't die, will you, JJ?
Well, I find your story
fascinating, Nancy.
I'd really like to see how it ends.
It could end like this.
Ugh.
Come on, old man. Get up.
You fight a lot like
your friends from the platoon.
All cowards.
They begged me not to kill them.
Callahan, Bridges,
even Christina.
Christina?
Yeah.
I planted a copy of the thumb drive
she stole in your home,
along with the gun I used to kill her.
It's not a good look for you, JJ.
You were in my home?
I spared the dog 'cause I'm a dog guy.
Oh, and I watered your plants,
you know, 'cause I'm a plant guy.
But Blueberry...
sleeps with the fishes.
Oh, shit.
And he should not have done that.
Forgive me, Lord,
for what I'm about to do.
Release the kraken.
Crane, if you could please stop moving,
I'd like to shoot JJ now...
See? Totally handled.
Why? I'm already tied up.
Quick, cut me loose.
- I'm going after Nancy.
- Gotcha.
Hey.
- Hey, where were you guys?
- Long story.
Where's Dr. Brookey?
Hey. I really missed you.
Ryan, seriously, okay?
I really need to tell him something.
Okay? We have got to get out of here.
There's...
Oh, my God.
I have Tasers on both of your backs.
Turn around quietly, or I'll use them.
Sophie?
My little muffin chop.
Ooh, you've grown.
Three words: Beeyoo. Tee. Full.
But... you were dead.
When Bobbi threw the grenades,
we ran back to our apartment
and dove into our new cast-iron tub.
If we went with Todd's idea
of white porcelain, we would be dead.
Hush.
Let's move, or I'll tell the real guards
you're phonies.
Aah! It's in my eyes!
Not fun, is it?
He activated a kill switch.
We have two ways
to stop this bomb from going off.
Either I can figure out
how to deactivate it
or we got to get
that kill switch from Crane.
On it.
How are you involved in this?
We used to work for the cartel.
That's how we met Bishop Crane.
He asked if we'd freelance
on this little shindig.
We said no at first, but our trip to Cabo
got postponed because of the hurricane,
and we're about to do a big reno,
so here we are.
You have to stop Nancy from doing this,
or we're all going to die.
- That is not gonna happen.
- Why not?
She cray, but she's also smart.
Nancy won't let this end with a bang.
Well, at least not while she's still here.
Do you know her exact 20?
Hmm.
It's been nice
catching up with you, Sophie,
but we have to end this little reunion
and get back to our post.
It's our job to make sure that
no one leaves before the show is over.
Like it is for you.
Get away from her.
Oh, isn't this cute?
It's the nerds from Stranger Things.
I forgot my medicine.
Feel less guilty about killing him
in my dream.
Why don't you join your friend
and get the hell out of here
before I kick your ass!
Hey!
Sophie!
- Oh, I don't think... He's already...
- Yeah, I didn't need to do that.
But thanks.
Sure. You were awesome.
Remind me to thank Ryan for all his help.
Come on. We've got to find JJ.
- What are you doing?
- Anything I can.
And now, from America, the children
from North Virginia High School.
Bobbi, where's JJ heading?
Sophie?
He's chasing the dude
with the kill switch.
Let's pray that he finds him,
'cause I cannot figure out
how to turn this thing off.
Tell them they have 23 minutes
to change their minds
or else they'll learn the hard way.
I'll be at the heliport in ten.
Freeze!
Connelly, you don't understand.
What have you done, Chief?
I'm not one of them.
If I were, you'd already be dead.
And you just let the real bad guy go.
What the hell is this all about?
How do we know you're telling the truth?
Connelly, who allowed you to use your
CIA credentials to spy on your ex-wife?
You did.
And, Hargear, who kept it quiet
when at the Langley checkpoint
security found something
vibrating in your bag?
All right, I trust him.
It was a toy for my kid.
You don't have any kids.
Guys, we need to evacuate everyone now.
We tried, but they say
it's not a credible threat.
Bottom line, no one's leaving.
My God.
So, what do we do now?
Put all our chips on JJ.
Bobbi, I need eyes on JJ.
Uh, headed north past Castel Sant'Angelo.
Last of your unit.
You should be proud, JJ.
Where is it?!
JJ.
Come on, JJ.
JJ.
Wait.
If this is heaven,
it's not what I expected.
No, no.
You did it.
Holy shit!
Yes!
Come on.
That's, like, three Hail Marys, tops.
Nancy Buck.
You're not going anywhere.
Really?
I could still smother the life
out of you right here.
Mamma, no.
Don't leave me again!
I promise I'll be good!
All right, all right.
Mamma...
I won't tell anyone you hit me anymore!
Please!
He's not my son.
Mamma, per favore.
Get off me!
Freeze! Get down on the ground
and spread 'em!
That was a close one, Chief.
I'm glad you're back.
- Dad.
- Collin.
Oh, my God.
I thought you were dead.
I thought you were a nurse.
We have a lot to talk about.
I was so scared I was gonna lose you.
Thanks for coming back for me.
You know you were
pretty good out there, right?
You're not a desk guy.
You should go back to being you.
I'll be fine.
I promise.
And I'm sorry for the way
I've been acting recently.
You don't have to apologize.
Been hard for me, emotionally,
just watching you grow up.
I didn't get to be a part
of your first nine years, and this part...
it's just going too fast.
I know you can take care of yourself.
That's what makes me a little sad.
I really like taking care of you.
I'm just dreading the day
you don't need me anymore.
Well, you have at least a week.
I think you're right about Collin.
I didn't see it at first, but thanks.
So, what I'm sensing here is,
basically, you've said I'm right.
Twice.
Don't get cocky.
Mr. Jones.
We need to take you to the hospital
for some observations.
Okay.
Can I come with him?
Uh, I'm sorry, miss. Are you family?
He's my dad.
Of course.
This is so weird.
I dreamed it would be a view like this
where I'd be standing here
with Ryan on this trip.
Maybe even have my first kiss.
I'm sorry it didn't work out
the way you wanted.
I'm not.
It's the right view,
but I had the wrong person.
Do you maybe want to go
to the homecoming dance with me?
Yeah. That'd be nice.
Whoa.
Do you think JJ's watching us somewhere?
Probably.
Oh, for the love of Pete, are you crying?
I'm not crying.
- You're crying.
- You cried first.
How much is this satellite
costing the CIA, anyway?
You don't want to know.
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm giving them some space.
All right. Fine.
Hey. You know, you and I
could end up being family someday.
Hey. This was a nice moment.
Let's not ruin it, okay?
Speaking of new family,
when we get back...
I'm gonna make
a lot of changes in my life.
Mm...
Yep. A lot of changes.
Isn't that right,
my little cleaner shrimp?
Mm...
Holy shit.
Hey.
That is so embarrassing.
- Really? I think it's kind of cute.
- Mm-mm.
Chief?
Do not move.
Yeah, no shit.
What do I do?
There's only one thing to do.
Run!
Get off me!
Connelly, what are you doing here?
Chief! It's a happy ending.
Connelly, you got a flight to catch.
Don't you think you should get moving?
I got plenty of time.
Come on, have a drink. Let's celebrate.
You know I don't drink while I'm on duty.
It's not professional.
One drink.
- Yeah!
- Come on!
That's me!
That's me!
That's me!
For always. I mean it.