Paging Mr. Darcy (2024) Movie Script
Pride and Prejudice, huh?
Have you read it before?
Many times.
Ah, you're a romantic.
That's interesting.
You see I'm reading Austen
and you assume I'm a romantic?
Why?
Jane Austen
writes romance novels.
Can I ask if you've
ever read any of her books?
Pretty sure I saw a movie.
Right.
Heaving bosoms
and declarations of passion?
And men in wet shirts.
All very pleasant,
but it doesn't make Austen
a romance author.
A comic genius,
a social realist,
a prose assassin taking down
the powerful and fatuous
with a well-aimed
dagger of a sentence...
Anything but a romance author.
You're a teacher, aren't you?
- Professor.
- Austen's my speciality.
You can specialize
in Jane Austen?
You can have
a whole conference on it!
That's why I'm on this plane.
Jane Austen League of America
Annual Conference and Ball?
I'm the keynote speaker.
Wow! You must go every year.
Once, when I was 15.
But let's not relive that.
The JALA people can be
a little... romantic.
They have balls,
and dancing, and
some of them even dress up.
Not really my thing.
Then why accept the gig?
Victoria Jennings.
She's on the Princeton
hiring committee,
and I'm up for the job.
Plus, my little sister
lives in town.
So, should I come
hear the big speech?
Definitely!
But you should do
some prep work first.
Hmm...
Oh, um...
I wanted to give you this
before I go,
if you don't mind.
A reading list?
Enjoy!
Oh, and I need this back.
Excuse me.
Hello?
Hey, big sister! Where are you?
- Just deplaned.
- Did Rob propose yet?
No! But it's soon!
He visited his mom last weekend.
Perfect time to get the ring.
I can't wait to see
what he has planned!
He is a planner.
And sweet and handsome,
and absolutely the best guy
you've ever dated!
I agree!
And now to spend my time
finding you a husband.
Don't do that.
You leave me no choice.
You're guy-blind.
You ignore everyone
who isn't fictional.
- That's not true.
- Hi!
I just never meet anyone
who's interested in me.
What about this weekend?
It's a whole group of people
who love literature.
You could meet your own
personal Mr. Darcy.
Ugh!
Spot him across
a crowded ballroom...
He's in a top hat...
You're in your Elizabeth Bennett
costume from 10th grade.
Professor Jennings is one of.
America's foremost scholars.
I'm not here to flirt.
I'm here to give
an amazing keynote
and show her that I
take Austen seriously.
Ugh.
Even if I wanted to,
which I do not,
it's very unlikely I would
meet any man at a conference
that is 75% women,
let alone personal Mr. Dar...
Eloise?
- I gotta go.
- Someone's here for me.
Eloise Cavendish?
Yes?
I'm your
guest-of-honour liaison.
Oh, that isn't necessary.
I'm here to take you
over to the, uh, venue,
and to make sure that you have
everything that you need.
And the outfit and
the accent?
Oh, I'm the official
Mr. Darcy of the conference.
The accent is real.
Mr. Darcy!
Miss Cavendish,
your carriage awaits!
Oh, please don't bow again.
Look, I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be rude, but
a lot of people are staring.
I really don't need any of this.
You don't need a ride?
I have rideshare. Thanks!
Uh, wait, Miss Cavendish!
- It's not Miss.
- Uh, Madame?
Technically, it's Doctor.
Look, I'm sorry, I just...
I don't need anything!
Goodbye.
Dr. Cavendish?
Uh
please just call me Eloise.
No, I'm sorry, I didn't
introduce myself properly.
I'm Sam Lee.
You having a little trouble
with rideshare?
Yeah.
The conference location
is a little remote,
which is why JALA,
in its infinite wisdom,
opted to provide you with
a guest-of-honour liaison.
It was, uh, my own smart idea
to come dressed like this.
Honestly, you look great.
It's just that I don't like...
- Fun?
- Dress-up.
It's fine for people
who enjoy it,
but I don't like
being a spectacle.
Well, then we should
probably get out of here, then.
Please.
So, tonight you have
the Speaker's Reception.
There's a dance lesson,
and a chocolate tasting.
What's so funny?
Mr. Darcy in a compact?
Well, they're
very reliable cars.
This is the Duchess Square
Resort and Gardens.
It's where we will be
spending the weekend.
Horrible?
I think I can tolerate it.
- Ah, good.
- Well, let me walk you in.
- Oh, that won't be necessary.
- I'd rather go in on my own.
Okay. Well, as you wish.
Uh, but you need anything,
then I'm...
I'll let you know!
Thank you very much.
Enjoy the conference.
Hello. Uh, Cavendish, please.
Dr. Cavendish,
our keynote speaker!
Here is your goodie bag.
Oh!
Did you meet up
with your liaison?
Mr. Lee?
Isn't he something?
Mmm!
Oh, I'm getting a call.
Mia?
- I can't!
- Mia!
I can't... Take it!
Rob, what's going on?
Hi, Eloise.
- Are you okay?
- Why is Mia crying?
Oh, you should
probably ask her,
'cause I don't understand her
and I never will.
Rob...
She forgot this.
Have a nice weekend.
Rob!
- Mia?
- Is he gone?
Oh...
He asked me to give you these.
Do you want to talk
in my hotel room?
People are staring.
What do they care?
Well, a pretty woman in tears
is always a subject of interest.
I take it
you are not engaged...?
We broke up.
- Mia, why?
- What did you do?
- What did I do?!
- Why do you always think it's me?
Sorry! You thought
he was gonna propose!
Well, I can't
talk about it right now.
I just can't go home.
Do you wanna... stay with me?
- You've got your speech.
- You have to network.
Mia, whatever this is,
I'm not letting you
face it on your own.
Thank you!
I promise
I won't be any trouble.
I'll just lie in bed
watching cable,
sobbing into Room Service,
mourning
the destruction of my life.
You won't even see me!
Do you want some water?
Uh-uh.
A hot bath?
No.
Ice cream?
Mm-hm...
Professor!
Professor Cavendish?
Professor Cavendish!
Jenny! What are you doing here?
Remember how in your class
I wrote a play
instead of a final paper?
- Vividly!
- Guess what?
The Complete Works of
Jane Austen, Abridged,
is about to become a reality.
I'm producing it
at the conference!
This conference?
The JALA people were really
into my PowerPoint presentation.
I told them how much
you inspired me.
That's wonderful, but the play
was completely your idea.
You know what
you tell us in class:
Women have to go
above and beyond
to get what they want.
This play is my beyond.
You'll come see it, won't you?
I'm gonna be casting it
with members of the conference
and we're gonna be
rehearsing it all weekend...
Like in Mansfield Park.
Of course, that didn't
work out well for them,
so that scene is
cut from the third act.
Also, the JALA people
didn't like that it was
more than an hour,
so it's just 40 minutes.
And then I decided to cut
Sense and Sensibility
because your note was
just absolutely influential
in the making of this play.
Oh, and then I did a major
rewrite to fit in Lady Susan.
I'll be directing, and I'll be
playing the role of Jane Austen!
You're... gonna come, right?
I mean, you don't have to,
but I'd, like, die if you don't.
Oh, excuse me, Miss.
Wow.
Um, Mr. Lee,
this is my student, Jenny.
I'm sorry, but I need to
speak to Professor Cavendish
on some very important
guest-of-honour business.
Right.
Uh, if you'll excuse us, Jenny,
I'll see you at your theatrical.
Okay!
Bye!
Goodbye!
- What is it?
- Oh, nothing.
I just... thought
you needed rescuing.
Uh, you gave me a pleading look.
Oh.
That wasn't a pleading look.
My eyes rested on you
for a second
and then I immediately
looked away.
Yes.
Well, anyway,
there's a special lesson
to learn all the country dances
for the ball...
Oh, thank you,
but no, I don't dance.
You don't dance?
Well, that can't be true.
If you don't dance,
then you're not a dancer,
and if you're not a dancer,
then how do I reserve
your first dance?
Adorable, aren't they?
They're handing them out
at registration because...
Please stop.
Stop what?
Mr. Lee, there will be no
first dance or second dance,
or any other number.
I will not be dancing,
dressing up,
or pretending to be a teenage
heroine husband-hunting
in a dead century.
I'm a scholar, not some
Fitzwilliam Darcy fan girl.
Fangirl?
I'm not one of these women
who hang off your every word
just because you're wearing
breeches and a hat.
You like attention, Mr. Lee.
There's nothing wrong with that,
but you won't be getting
any of it from me.
Hmm!
You know, you can be a scholar
and still have a little fun.
Dr. Victoria Jennings?
Hmm?
Excuse me!
I need to network.
Enjoy the rest
of the conference!
So many choices!
Oh!
If you'd like a recommendation,
I am a bit of an expert.
- Oh!
- Well, I'm a complete beginner,
so I'll take
any tea tips you have.
- Oh!
- I'm Eloise Cavendish.
- Oh, hello!
- Victoria Jennings, pleasure.
Oh! Is that my edition?
- Yes!
- Oh, please join me!
My personal favourite
is the Rose Congou.
It's a bit of an acquired taste,
so we'll start you in
on the Lady Grey.
Two minutes!
Eloise, I'm so glad
I ran into you.
I am looking forward
to your keynote.
- It's quite an honour.
- I just hope I do it justice.
Well, these events
can be challenging.
Not your traditional
academic conference.
The attendees can be so, uh
passionate.
- I've noticed!
- All the costumes, the balls...
It's like Comic-Con
for Jane Austen fans.
Yes, I know!
Isn't it marvellous?
Mmm!
I look forward to it
every year.
I spend all my time
studying Austen,
and then I finally
get a chance to live it!
Uh-huh! Yeah, of course!
I mean, you've got to be able
to enjoy yourself, don't you?
I mean, otherwise,
how can you instill that joy,
that love of literature
to your students?
That's
- such a good point.
- Mmm!
I know some scholars who
look down on JALA as something,
oh, I don't know, unserious.
As if you have to take
Austen seriously
in order to understand her.
Snobs. Dismal, boring snobs!
Oh, Samuel!
Samuel, come over here
and meet my new friend.
- Oh, you don't have to.
- He's clearly busy.
Samuel!
Uh, Professor Cavendish,
I'd like to introduce... muah!
My nephew.
He plays Mr. Darcy
at the conference.
Oh, we've met.
Uh, Sam was kind enough
to get me from the airport.
He's my guest-of-honour liaison.
He's been... great.
Well of course,
the official JALA Mr. Darcy
shouldn't be anything
less than a perfect gentleman!
Works in start-ups.
Single.
Um, we were just saying
how much fun the ball will be.
Oh! Really?
Mm-hm!
Oh, Samuel,
she's a delightful woman.
Not one of those stuffed-shirt
academics who doesn't know
how to cut loose
and party like it's 1810.
Speaking of which,
you didn't invite her
to the special dance lesson.
She's missing it.
He did. I told him that I...
Already know all the dances.
- Really?
- Oh, yes!
Dr. Cavendish is a huge fan
of English country dancing.
Oh, apparently, she belongs
to an association back home.
- No, I don't...
- Oh, don't be modest!
No, she knows them all!
The Arlington Assembly,
the Ashford Anniversary,
even Mr. Beveridge's
After Dinner Maggot!
Oh! Which is your favourite?
The After Dinner Maggot...?
Oh, I knew it!
Oh, Samuel,
I hope you reserved a dance!
Oh, the very first one.
Now, has Eloise told you about
the outfit that she has planned?
- No!
- Uh, Mr. Lee?
Can I steal you for a moment?
Just, I have a few
guest-of-honour questions.
Oh, but of course!
Take a turn about the room!
Please, you've made your point.
Really?
Or perhaps I was
just asking for attention.
Mr. Lee,
I am so sorry for what I said!
I can be controlling
when I feel
stressed.
I stressed you?
- No. Not you.
- The whole conference.
Look, I'm on the edge
of something I've worked for
my entire life.
My sister's up in my hotel room
crying with her heart broken.
I took it out on you.
It was no way to treat someone
who's been nothing but kind.
You won't tell your aunt,
will you?
You're up for that new
professorship at Princeton,
aren't you?
So, if there's anything
I can do to make it up to you...
Then you'll do it as long
as I keep my mouth shut?
- Yes.
- Hmm.
Alright.
Actually,
I'll do you one better.
I'll help you get the job.
Now, my aunt may seem easygoing,
but she is not
when it comes to the
Princeton English Department,
and she is definitely not
when it comes to
a Jane Austen scholar.
But I've had a lifetime
to learn what she likes
and what she doesn't, so...
I can advise you.
Why would you do that for me?
Oh, I'm not doing it for you.
Look...
That is Crispin Crane.
Actor turned academic.
He played Mr. Willoughby
for British television in 1986.
He's been hovering around
my aunt like a fruit fly
on a banana.
My aunt practically
blushed when she told me
that she was interviewing him
at the conference.
He's flirting
his way into the job.
You want me to block him?
Yes.
My aunt has suffered
enough heartbreak.
I don't want her to get hurt
by some warmed-up
Willoughby wannabe cad.
So, do we have a deal?
What exactly am I agreeing to?
Well, there's the dancing.
You missed
the special dance lesson,
so you've a lot of
catching up to do.
And the outfit.
The outfit?!
Kelsey can probably
help us with that.
Oh, and I need a partner
for the Lawn Games tournament.
My aunt respects
a killer instinct.
But beyond that, just agree
with her on all matters of taste
and, well, be the fantastic
scholar that JALA says you are.
Deal.
No bowing!
Oh, now, that...
You see, that is the sort of
stuffed-shirt attitude
that you're gonna
have to work on.
Text me your room number
and I'll pick you up
at 9:00 am sharp.
Oh, aren't you adorable!
Miss Scott!
What a surprise.
Mr. Darcy, I don't understand.
What are you doing here?
You act as if
I invaded your territory!
- Elly-bell? What happened?
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- Just academic job search stuff.
I got a lot to do tomorrow.
- Wait, should I go?
- No!
Because I can go.
No, I'm not kicking you out
in the middle of the night.
A romcom?
Is now really the time?
Nothing else was on
except that wedding dress show.
Do you have my ice cream?
Uh...
Praline and Prejudice
or Mansfield Chunk?
What's Mansfield Chunk?
Basically Rocky Road
but with coffee.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah.
What does that mean, exactly?
Nothing.
What's wrong with men?
Why didn't Rob propose?
It's not
that he didn't propose.
- He proposed?!
- In the kitchen!
Over takeout coffee
like it was an afterthought.
He didn't even kneel!
He just handed me
the mocha and said,
"So, there's something
I wanna talk to you about."
Oh...
And then he went right
into talking about finances
and house down payments
and timelines!
I'm surprised he didn't
have a PowerPoint about
why it was "A good decision!"
Well, isn't it a good decision?
I mean, you two just
work together.
But there was nothing
about love in that proposal!
No passion, no romance.
And I just thought, "This is
gonna be the rest of my life."
This is the most important
moment of our love story
and all he gave me
was a mocha from the kiosk
in the grocery store!
He could have at least
grabbed roses!
They're right there!
Did you tell him how you feel?
He doesn't think it's valid.
Well, I can
talk to him for you.
Just... I think you have
a communication issue.
There's no fixing this, Eloise.
I'm a romantic!
And he's an accountant.
All this time,
he supposedly loved me
and he was just putting up
with my nonsense.
Did he say that?
I don't wanna be
put up with, Eloise.
I wanna be loved!
Aw...
I love you, Mimi.
And I put up
with your nonsense.
But for what it's worth,
I do think Rob loves you too.
Love is about
putting yourself out there,
risking it all.
Rob isn't willing
to risk anything!
Huh?
- It's just the housekeeper.
- Go back to sleep.
- Shh.
- My sister is still sleeping.
Oh my gosh.
You're wearing it again.
Actually,
this is my hunting suit.
You're really
trying to embarrass me
as much as possible, aren't you?
Oh, it's not all about you.
After all,
I am the conference Mr. Darcy.
I have a responsibility
to look this good.
Hmm.
- Shall we?
- We shall!
- Is that a first edition Cowper?
- Uh, focus, Eloise.
I want you to meet someone.
Kelsey?
Kelsey?
- Oh...!
- Ah. You have a client.
This is Eloise Cavendish,
my guest of honour.
Eloise, this is Kelsey Shelton,
genius costumier.
Hi.
You have excellent posture.
Hmm!
Hmm. Thank you.
Kelsey and I have been friends
since high school,
ever since we were
in tech crew together
for Much Ado About Nothing.
He was chasing
a girl playing Hero,
knew nothing about theatre,
and kept breaking things.
You weren't in the cast?
In high school I was,
you know, quiet and...
Huge nerd.
But it paid off
for this Craftsy thing.
Craftsy?
It's that website
for independent craftspeople
who sell handmade goods.
Uh, yeah, I know it.
My sister loves it.
You sold stuff on Craftsy?
No, I built
the start-up company
that provides billing
and compliance software services
for independent artisans who
sell things on Craftsy.
- And then Craftsy bought it...
- You're welcome.
I was his inspiration.
Interstate tax compliance
was really
cutting into my sewing time.
- Arms up, please.
- Uh, I don't know if I, um...
Don't most people just
wear an evening gown?
But we don't
want to be most people.
No, you want to stand out.
So, Sam was telling me
that this is a rush job,
but I have a couple of
half-finished pieces
I can adapt.
White batiste with
pink accents!
Did you bring your period-
appropriate undergarments?
Okay, no, I can't do this.
I-I can't wear a costume.
You're not gonna tell on me
for not wearing
a period-appropriate
undergarment, are you?
Well, when you
put it like that...
Kelsey, change of plan.
Rush job's off.
- What?
- I tell you what.
You can wear an evening gown
if you wear these.
Completely inaccurate.
There's no period
fabrics at all.
They're $30...
Bargain!
Pleasure doing
business with you.
You would have
looked so authentic!
I'm sorry, Kelsey.
Thank you for trying.
Okay, I need coffee
and food in that order.
Okay, well, the, uh,
buffet's open till 10:30.
I'll take you.
Oh... uh, oh,
you don't have to do that.
Uh, yes I do.
My aunt eats late.
Right!
Ah! See, what did I tell you?
Uh... Ow, what?
There's Crane!
Oh, look at him primping
into his baked beans.
Distract him.
- Me?!
- Yes, delay him
as long as you can,
and meet me in the craft hall.
- The craft hall?
- Mm-hm.
Uh, Dr. Crane? Crispin Crane?
Uh, yes.
From the 1986
British television production
of Sense and Sensibility?
Yes, in fact.
And you are...?
Eloise Cavendish.
I'm actually giving
the keynote speech.
How impressive.
- I was just going...
- I'm a big fan.
Really?
I would have thought
you were a bit young
for that particular version.
It's been so outshone
by subsequent,
you know, adaptations.
Oh, well, a classic
can never be outshone!
Thank you.
I abandoned that life long ago,
but it's nice to be remembered.
If you don't mind...
Uh, can... can I ask...
There's, um, um... there's
a talk later today on Wickham,
on whether he can really
be considered a villain.
As someone who played
one of Austen's villains
in a major
television production...
Oh, hardly major, my dear.
Well, still,
wouldn't you say that, um,
playing Willoughby gave
you an unusual insight
into his character?
Of course,
but it's not always useful.
Oh, really?
I retain a certain partiality
towards the character
that makes it very hard for me,
to this day,
- to see him as a villain.
- Oh!
As I was just saying
to my friend, Victoria...
Victoria?
Ah, would you please...?
Uh...
Um...
Ahh!
That is stunning.
You really have an eye.
- Look, Samuel.
- Professor Cavendish is here.
Oh, fantastic. I need a model.
Oh, no.
Did you get rid of Crane?
- Mm-hm.
- Chin up.
You really have
the bone structure for bonnets.
Why don't you make one
with my aunt?
Oh, I-I'm not very crafty.
Oh, it's just gluing to taste.
You can change it if you like.
"I do not think
it is very pretty,
"but I shall pull it to pieces
as soon as I get home"
"and see if I can
make it up any better!"
Lydia Bennet!
I think that's one of the most
telling passages in the novel.
It shows us how Lydia views men.
As interchangeable?
Exactly.
One bonnet is
just as good as another
if you pretty it up
with a nice piece of satin.
And one man
is just as good as the next
if he's wearing
the right uniform.
- Mm-hm!
- Uh, excuse me!
Oh, Samuel, not you, dear.
You're unique and perfect
all the way through.
- Oh, I don't know.
- For most people around here,
I'm just a pair of breeches
and a hat.
I don't know what
I'm gonna do with this thing,
but am I crazy to think
that that went well?
Are you kidding?
No, you nailed it.
I mean, you busted out
that Lydia Bennet quote.
I mean, anyone can
quote Elizabeth, but Lydia?
I have to admit,
I thought that crafts project
would be silly, but that was
a fascinating conversation.
Hey, I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
What do you mean?
The whole thing about you being
just a pair of breeches
and a hat.
If I made you feel in any way...
Uh, no.
That was a joke.
Uh, I don't know
if you've noticed,
but I make a lot of those.
Is that a defence mechanism?
The hat or the jokes?
Yeah, we are not
psychoanalyzing me,
we are here to get you that job.
I thought I nailed it!
- Uh, professor?
- It is only Thursday.
We have a long weekend
ahead of us,
and you still don't know
how to dance.
Ah-ah-ah, don't make that face!
You told my aunt
that you know all the dances.
I didn't, you did!
Let's not throw blame around.
We have work to do.
- I have an idea...
- I'll break my ankle.
Oh, no, good idea.
Break it
while learning to dance.
Uh, this part of the hotel
doesn't look open to guests.
Are you always
such a rule-follower?
Huh, well, I guess
that's a great way
to avoid being noticed.
Now you're psychoanalyzing me?
- Where are we going?
- Somewhere private.
You'd get embarrassed otherwise.
That's surprisingly
considerate.
Plus, we can't risk
revealing your dark secret.
That I can't dance?
That you're no fun.
Now, it's just a little bit
closed for renovations,
but that means that
no one will wander in.
Unless they're willing
to ignore all the signs.
What can I say?
I like exploring.
I found this place yesterday,
and I thought to myself,
"There must be
some earthly use for it."
It's lovely.
And I'm sure any
pretty, young Jane Austen fan
you brought here
would be swept off her feet.
So, first things first.
The After Dinner Maggot.
- Come on.
- Come, come, come, come, come!
The men on this side,
women on that side.
Although we never
have enough men,
so you'll probably
have to learn both sides.
Right, we split and return.
May I? And, here we go!
And...
'Round the other dancers.
- What dancers?
- Uh, the imaginary dancers.
That's it, and...
And right, left, right,
and right.
And left, right, left,
and left, and left.
Left, uh...
You're the left.
Okay.
Now, you allemande on the fourth
corner on the second count
and it's the second corner
on the third.
But remember that we have to
end up where we started
- so that we can switch again.
- What?!
Dah... dah...
Dah, dah, dah!
Good! Much better!
Now, you made it through
the whole figure
without making any mistakes.
Now you may venture
a witty remark.
- I can't.
- My brain's processing power
- is tied up in my feet.
- Well, ignore your feet.
You're looking
at your feet so much
that I'm starting
to get jealous.
Look at me.
Remember, I like attention.
You're so annoying.
You are so
graceful.
See?
It wasn't that bad, was it?
Now, the next step is
to do it all again,
but without counting
under your breath
and without stomping around
like you're wearing moon boots.
Now, just relax.
Shoulders back, eyes up,
and remember:
You are graceful,
you are elegant,
you are the most beautiful
girl in the ballroom!
- You must...
- Stop.
This isn't gonna work.
It's fine here by myself, but
out there in front of everyone?
I-I can't do this.
Sorry if I went too fast,
if I, um...
No, it's not you. It's just...
I don't dance!
I don't like being
the centre of attention.
But aren't you
about to give a speech
in front of a room
full of people?
- That's being an academic.
- That's what I'm used to.
I'm used to being the girl
off to the side in the corner
reading a book,
not the girl on the dance floor.
That's Mia.
My sister.
The one in your hotel room.
She's very comfortable
being the centre of attention
and sometimes
will create situations
where that can happen.
Everyone has a role
in their family.
I'm the smart one,
the practical one.
Mia's pretty and reckless
and charming, and
unlike me, a great dancer.
What's the worst
that can happen?
I'll mess up!
I'll look like a fool!
I'll look like a woman
pretending to be...
Pretending to be what?
A heroine in a romance novel,
alright?
I'll look like an unmarried
woman in her thirties
pretending to be
Elizabeth Bennet
looking for Mr. Darcy.
I did pretend to be
Elizabeth Bennet once
for a homecoming dance
when I was 15.
I bought the dress from here.
Well, not here, actually;
Another JALA conference.
You went to a JALA conference
when you were 15?
My parents liked to
encourage my interests.
It's kind of a curse.
But it was a train ride away
and it was
Pride and Prejudice themed,
and I...
I just loved the book so much.
It was the first book I read
that I really loved,
and everyone there loved it too.
And they treated me
like I was
sophisticated and interesting
and like a real-life
Austen ingnue.
Anyway, I got carried away
and I bought this dress.
And you wore it to homecoming?
I thought that if
Cody Anderson could see me
across the dance floor,
he'd realize
how sophisticated
and interesting I was.
Ah! And what happened?
He saw me
across the dance floor
and, uh, he laughed.
And then everyone saw me
and they all laughed,
and then I ran
and hid in the library.
Janitor let me in; Nice man.
Oh.
Well, Cody Anderson's an idiot.
Ah, I bet there was
a boy at that dance
who wondered
where you went all night.
A huge nerd
who was into computers
and classic literature.
Hey, it's not as if I was
tearing up
the dance floor at 15.
Look, I know
that it's embarrassing
to wear this outfit.
You know what the most
embarrassing part is?
No.
I like it.
Come on.
For the first few years,
it was like a favour to my aunt.
But the truth is that I don't
get to be the romantic hero
in my normal life.
No, my normal life
is dealing with start-up bros
and enduring their jokes.
But everywhere I go
as Mr. Darcy,
I make women happy.
- Must be fun.
- No, it is.
Until my aunt points out
all the single women
at the conference who clearly
only like me for my frock coat.
That's why it's so nice to meet
someone who sees beyond
the hat and the breeches and
doesn't like me at all.
Was that another
defence mechanism?
You mean a joke?
Well I hate to
disappoint you, but
you're growing on me.
Huh.
Well, maybe there
is something to be said
for the confidence-boosting
effects of a costume.
Here, put this on.
Why?
Well, you may have
learned the steps,
but now I need you to get
into the spirit of the thing.
I need you to dance
like everyone is watching,
and I need you to wear this hat.
Oh, good lord...
Okay, and five, six,
seven, eight...
Repeat after me:
"I am beautiful."
- What?!
- Come on, say it!
I... am... beautiful!
- No!
- I am beautiful!
I am... oh my gosh.
I am beautiful!
Yes!
I am worthy.
I am also worthy.
Ah, no editorializing!
No jokes. Mean it!
- Look at me.
- Look at me!
Look at me!
Samuel!
Professor Cavendish!
What on Earth
are you doing out here?
I've been looking
everywhere for you!
There's been a disaster.
Annabelle has
bit the refreshments
- for the Lawn Games.
- What?
I don't know what kind of
caterer she engaged,
but they claim it is
for next weekend...
And they will not budge!
Someone needs to make
a picnic for tomorrow
that won't draw shame
onto the head of JALA!
Oh, why can't
the hotel handle it?
Oh, no, they're overbooked
and very unhelpful.
So, Samuel, I was hoping
you could drive into town
and see if you could find
something suitably authentic...
I can help.
You can?
I taught a seminar
in Regency cuisine.
My students were
thoroughly engaged.
That sounds
suspiciously like fun.
Oh, well, come along, then.
No time to waste.
Okay, yeah. Thank you. Bye.
Any luck?
For an order this big,
it's not luck we need,
- it's a miracle.
- Ah.
Well, maybe we need to
think beyond catering.
Well, an authentic
Regency nuncheon would be
cold meats, salad, and fruit.
What Kitty and Lydia
buy their sisters at the inn.
Cold meat and salad...
for how many?
A hundred and twenty.
That's gonna
present a significant
um
difficulty.
I have an idea.
Thank you.
Welcome to Supro Subs.
We serve sandwiches in a snap.
How may we delight you today?
Your giant party sub,
does that serve 20?
- Mm-hm.
- And can you deliver
to the middle of
the Duchess Square Golf Course?
We're happy to delight you
anywhere within
a five-mile radius.
Great, well, I'll take 10
for 12:30 tomorrow.
Oh, and can you
make them carb-free?
Ten
submarine party subs
with no bread?
And the toppings on the side.
We'll also take 60
of your fruit medley cups.
Oh-kay...!
Uh, and would you
like to add chips,
or ultimate chocolate
peanut butter brownies,
or rainbow sprinkle cookies
to your order?
- Yeah...
- Hmm, not very authentic.
Inauthentic won't
impress my aunt.
If I had a kitchen,
there's this recipe I make
every Christmas, but...
Well, there's a perfectly
good kitchen at the hotel.
- Well, we can't use that...
- Come on.
We'll go to
the market on the way.
Thank you!
Oh, I just don't think
that we can.
The hotel has all
these regulations
and the managers are so picky.
We won't take up too much time,
and they hold
cooking classes here, so...
Oh, those are planned
with instructors and notice.
There's no time to arrange
some last-minute... Sam?
- Hi, Annabelle.
- I'm here for the cooking class.
Wait, cooking class?
I'm an expert in Georgian
and Regency cuisines.
I was hoping to demonstrate
syllabubs and Shrewsbury cakes.
Mmm!
If only someone could help us
with the hotel management.
You know that we're
not supposed...
I'll distract them. Go.
I'm gonna do
the dry ingredients.
A cup of sugar...
Just that much.
Wow!
Zest it up.
Whisky business!
You've got to roll this.
- Okay...
- Just like that.
Mm-hm.
And then...
Okay!
Press down,
so that...
Oh, there we go. See?
Ha!
- And...
- Nice.
That...
Wow.
Nice.
So, we just
chill these overnight,
and we are done!
Am I hallucinating?
You looked hungry.
Mmm!
I can't remember the last time
a man cooked for me.
Where'd you learn to do this?
The library.
No, seriously!
It has cookbooks.
My auntie did so much
for me growing up,
and she didn't have much time
when she was getting her tenure,
that, well, cooking was
a way of helping her out.
You two were close?
Still are.
So, after my parents divorced,
my mum was really struggling,
so we moved here to the States
and my auntie took us in.
She didn't have much money
or much room, but,
but she made it work.
Without her, we wouldn't
have made it through.
That's why
you're so protective.
Well, that's what happens
when you grow up
in a household
with two single women!
Too many Wickhams in the world,
not enough Darcys.
Exactly!
I'll dry.
I don't think I could
live with my sister.
Hah!
Well, my mum
did get her own place
as soon as I got out of college,
but she still
lives in Princeton.
In fact, I'm actually trying to,
uh, set up my incubator there.
I spend way too much time
on the train from New York.
Incubator?
Yes, it's a non-profit
to help people set up
a socially responsible start-up.
Hmm!
A do-gooder tech guy.
- Interesting.
- Hmm!
Well, after I sold my company,
I didn't really need
to make any more money.
And, well, I just...
I wanted to do something
to give back.
So you'd move there?
Yeah, I'm thinking about
buying a house there.
I just need to get more people
excited about the non-profit.
I think you will.
I don't know, it's her decision,
but Rob's the best guy
she's dated by miles.
Like, miles and country miles.
I'm talking unsuccessful bands,
wannabe influencers,
and some guy who said
he was gonna get rich
by day trading something
called cyrocurrency?
Oh, it's a type of
a cryptocurrency.
Well, it certainly isn't a job.
There's just been a lot of...
A lot of Wickhams?
Hmm?
You know, Rob drove her here
after they broke up
so she wouldn't be alone.
- That's love.
- Huh.
Is a fancy proposal
that big a deal?
I don't know. Is it to you?
I'd prefer
something substantive.
Something that would
show that he really
cared about what was
important to me.
Well, a fancy proposal
is important to me.
I didn't give you
permission to be right.
- Eloise!
- Mia!
I was just getting some
ice.
You've made a friend!
This is Sam,
my guest-of-honour liaison.
I also play Mr. Darcy
at the conference.
Yes, I see.
They give you your own
personal Mr. Darcy.
Okay, let's go back inside!
Oh... what? My ice!
It's been a long day. Bye, Sam!
Later, Sam!
Hope to see you at the ball!
Bye!
Who was that?
- I told you!
- My guest-of-honour liaison.
We had
some problems to solve.
Solving problems
with a handsome man
with an accent!
- Well, the accent's real.
- He moved here from...
Why are there flowers in here?
I sent them to myself!
Because I suffered
a great heartbreak
and mindless spending helps.
It's rude of you to remind me
when I was so well-distracted
with Mr. Darcy.
First of all, Sam's personality
is nothing like Darcy's.
Okay, so
what is he like?
Actually, the exact opposite.
He's funny and open
and makes a lot of jokes,
but
he's kind.
Do you like him?
Absolutely not!
Okay, but I haven't heard you
say that many nice things
about a non-fictional man
in years.
I like him as a person.
We're not very compatible.
I don't think I could
ever be serious
about a man who enjoys wearing
a Mr. Darcy costume.
Your loss.
He seems like the kind of guy
who'd make a fool of himself,
for love.
You've been spending
a lot of time
with Professor Cavendish?
I'm her liaison.
She's a very interesting woman.
Hmm!
May I offer a word of advice,
Samuel?
Really? Just the one?
Oh, don't make a joke of it
like you always do!
If you like this young woman,
be honest about what you want.
You don't want to wake up
at my age realizing
you've deflected every chance
of happiness with a joke.
It's one of the greatest
dangers in life...
Missed opportunities.
Hmm.
There are dangers
in being honest.
Like what?
Heartbreak.
You see?
That was honest.
Rob, you have
every reason to be upset.
I'm upset.
But if only you could see
how much she's hurting.
She's... hurting?
Rob, she's devastated!
That's surprising,
'cause she said
that I make her miserable.
You don't. You make her happy.
Not the crazy highs and lows
that she used to chase,
but actually happy the majority
of the time I talk to her.
That hasn't happened before.
I can't let you throw that away.
It was a perfectly
good proposal.
I bought her her favourite drink
and I asked
if she was interested
in marriage!
Now, what's wrong with that?
You might have
bought her some roses.
Okay, so, what, I gotta
make a fool out of myself
with some big romantic gesture
before I even know
if she wants to get married,
let alone to me?
We didn't even
talk about it yet.
See, this is what
you should tell her!
If you could just
come to the hotel,
you two could communicate
and actually figure this out.
No big gestures,
just a conversation.
Uh... um, I have to go,
but please just think about
what I said, okay?
Hi.
You're out of uniform.
I thought, since things
are going so well,
that I could take you
on a field trip.
Oh, please, my ego can't take
any more crafting or dancing.
- Don't worry.
- This should be something
that you're very good at.
What am I good at?
What do you think?
Sam, it's wonderful.
"The day has come on which
I am to flirt my last
"with Tom Lefroy,
and when you receive this
"it will be over."
"My tears flow as I write,
at the melancholy idea."
Can you believe how many
people are convinced
that Tom Lefroy was
Austen's lost true love
on the basis of these
two short letters?
It's absurd.
What's absurd about it?
- Well, she's joking.
- She's obviously joking.
"My tears flow as I write this"?
Come on.
Oh, just because
someone's joking doesn't mean
they're not feeling.
Good point.
Still... I wish people
would just admit
that she was a fantastic writer
without needing some romantic
back story that started it all.
"Was he the Wickham
that jilted her
"or the Darcy that got away?"
Maybe he was the Collins
that annoyed her.
She did turn down
a proposal once.
Not from Lefroy,
but another guy.
She went to bed; In the morning,
changed her mind.
That's strange.
You think his proposal
lacked romance?
No, I think she said yes
for practical reasons
and then no because she'd just
be doing it to be married.
And that wasn't enough.
I mean, could any of the men
she'd met have possibly known
who she really was,
the same way her readers do?
Men can read.
With a little help.
So, is that
what you're looking for?
Someone who really
knows who you are?
Well, it certainly isn't
a big romantic proposal.
I don't...
Like being
the centre of attention.
I know.
But if you can't
get through the proposal,
then how are you gonna
get through the wedding?
Oh, no, my literal nightmare!
Why do we make women do that?
Stand up there
in front of everyone
- in a big, ridiculous dress?
- Well, the man is there too.
It's such an ordeal.
Why can't I just
skip to the good part?
Ooh, the good part?
You know what I mean.
Have you ever
turned down a proposal?
Yes.
I get at least one
per JALA conference.
Right...
Breeches and a hat.
Yeah. Doesn't count, though.
Well, you look pretty good
in a jacket too.
Miss Eloise!
It's Doctor!
Oh, okay, Doctor!
Oh...
I feel like an undergraduate.
I know; I should probably
get you out of here
before you expose yourself
to public censure
on account of your behaviour.
- What?
- Nothing.
It's just...
I'm having fun.
Ah!
Are you gonna be
unbearably smug about it?
Definitely.
Fore!
Oh, I'm sorry,
we've reserved this...
Hey!
Monopoly Man!
Hi, Tanner.
Yeah, I remember you!
Hey, guys, it's Sam!
Yeah, the guy that washed up
at VC Pitch Blast in November.
Hey, sorry you
didn't get funding
for that no-profit thing.
Yeah, non-profit.
Yeah, maybe you should
have worn your top hat.
So, uh... what's all this?
This? Oh, this is the, uh,
Jane Austen League
of America conference,
and we have reserved
this area of the golf course
for period-appropriate
lawn games.
Tanner!
Just pick up your ball.
Let's go.
This is the driving range.
Yeah. Uh...
Wow!
Sam Lee, blast from the past.
Hey, did you know we were
in the Stanford Start-up
Incubator together?
First one of us to sell.
Settled for that $50 mill exit,
but people thought
you'd do big things.
What happened to you, man?
Eh, I guess the future's
not for everybody!
Ah...
So, where's your costume?
At the cleaners.
Are all you Jane Austen fan girls
this funny?
Finish your round
and join us for bowling.
You can judge for yourself.
Uh, yeah, okay. Uh, maybe.
Good seeing you, Sam.
Nice to meet you.
And good luck with, uh
this.
Hm.
What was that all about?
Were you hiding from them?
Uh, no. No, no, no.
It's just, you know,
I don't like to, uh,
mix my JALA life
with my professional life.
- Thanks for stepping in, though.
- I appreciate that.
I owed it to you after
everything I put you through.
You? No, no, you're... you're
you're an angel!
Is that the word
you wanted to use?
"Challenge."
You're a challenge.
I like challenges.
Maybe I could start
to like attention.
Elly!
Elly-bell!
Stop everything!
No more fun.
No more fun without me!
Oh, look, Elly-bell,
your sister's here!
I'm done. Done
with the ice cream
and the cable and the crying.
I'm ready for distractions.
Also, Elly,
I hope you don't mind,
I borrowed your bonnet.
Where'd you get that?
Hmm? Oh, I got it at this
old market thing in the hotel.
Didn't want to commit
with the whole dress,
but I wanted to get
in the spirit of the thing,
and out of the spirit
of the other thing.
You know... being dumped.
Well, you are just in time
for Lawn Game.
Oh... yeah!
- I play games!
- Good!
You can be my partner.
Go sign up at the table.
I'll be right over.
Oh, I-I thought we were gonna
we were gonna do that.
- Oh, no, no, it...
- It's much better this way.
You can partner up with my aunt.
Oh, that makes perfect sense!
So much sense...
You can do it! Deep breaths!
Victoria?
- Oh, Crispin.
- Where have you been?
Looking for you, mostly.
I was hoping it's not too late
to engage you as my partner
for the tournament?
Oh, I'd be delighted,
but I'm afraid
Professor Cavendish and I
are well into our first round
of lawn bowling.
No, uh, turning back now.
Mia!
Oh, my turn again already?
Hold this, please.
Tee-hee!
- Ahh!
- Oh, well done!
- Eeh!
- We are in the lead.
Oh!
We can do better than that.
Okay, look, if we do this...
Your sister has
quite the killer instinct.
I'm just glad
she's having a good time.
She just broke up
with her boyfriend.
Oh!
- I'll pass you my parasol.
- One and two.
Ooh, we should incorporate
a bow and a curtsey
in here somewhere.
Really?
- And then I'll...
- Mia!
Rob?
What are you doing here?
- What am I... doing?
- What are you doing here?
Victorian lawn games.
Regency.
Regency lawn games.
Yeah, looks like
an absolute blast.
Who's your friend here?
That's none of your business!
Sam.
I'm Sam Lee.
I wasn't actually
speaking to you
sir.
What, are you on a date
with this, uh,
romance novel
cover model reject?
So what if I am?
Rob, we broke up.
Less than two days ago
I asked you to marry me.
Actually, you should know this.
I asked her to marry me
two days ago.
Uh, I'm just here
for the Lawn Games.
You dumped me!
Because I asked you to marry me.
You said the question
was "depressing."
Not because of you, Rob!
Because of the way
that you asked it!
Well, what did you want?
You want me to make
a fool out of myself
in front of everybody
to prove how much I love you?
It would be nice.
Rob, maybe we can go back to my
hotel room to talk about this.
No, Eloise, I don't need
any more of your help!
I came because you said
Mia was devastated,
and she doesn't look
very devastated.
You told him what?
Well, I just wanted to help
you two communicate.
Well, we're communicating now,
Eloise, are you happy?
And for the record, Rob,
I was devastated.
I completely,
completely love you!
But you don't like me,
because something
that is as important to me
as a romantic wedding proposal
is just like a big joke to you.
Look, I-I don't want it
to end this way, alright?
I don't want it to end
because of some stu...
What can I do, alright?
What's it gonna take?
A lot more than this.
Fine.
I'm... I'm leaving.
And I'm taking these
perfectly good flowers.
- Mia?
- Eloise.
I appreciate the thought but
this has nothing to do with you.
Uh...
Well, I think it's high time
for pall-mall.
I'll get the clubs!
I'll help.
Eloise, I'm sorry.
Look, I honestly
only wanted to cheer her up.
I had no idea
her ex would be here.
And I certainly didn't think
that he would interpret...
There's no need to apologize.
It has nothing to do with me.
I'm sure your sister
didn't mean...
My sister was right.
I've been sticking my nose in
where it's not wanted.
And I have enough to worry about
this weekend with the keynote
and everything else.
Let's exert ourselves!
Let's have fun!
Professor Cavendish!
Jenny?
- I need your help!
- This show is about to be ruined.
- Ruined?
- Two of our actors dropped out.
The play is tomorrow, right?
- It's tonight!
- Oh.
We've got four hours.
I just need two actors
to play Darcy and Elizabeth,
and I was thinking, maybe,
since your friend
already has the costume...
I'd be happy to help.
In fact, I think I can
get you some tech crew.
And then, for Elizabeth,
I was thinking
maybe someone who's
a really good public speaker.
Someone who knows the novels
and kind of sparkles with
vivacity and charisma.
- Well, I'm not sure if I...
- I don't know if I could, um...
I'll do it!
Mia Cavendish, former star
of every high school
and one and a half
college musicals.
Uh, you are
the right size for the costume.
Ha, you are cast!
- Oh!
- You are all cast.
Except you, Professor Cavendish.
Oh, well, I can
help out with the set.
That's where I really shine
in the theatre...
Off-stage.
This'll be just
like high school!
And then come back
around here...
And... bow!
Lift up the quill.
Everyone,
hands up towards the quill.
Hey.
You are
terrible at sewing.
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm never gonna
get through this.
Give it...
Sam texted me
for help with a play.
Just like in high school.
Guess I'll paint.
Who's that
that Sam's talking to?
My sister.
Oh...
She's comfortable
in the spotlight
like Sam.
Are you kidding?
Sam's the shyest man
I've ever known.
When we first met, he could
hardly speak in front of a girl.
You're kidding.
He's been bowing
and kissing hands all weekend.
No, no, no, that's the thing...
It's 'cause
he's wearing a costume.
Girl, watch your brush!
Mm, sorry.
It started in high school
when he stepped in
for Benedict in that Much Ado.
Sam was a weird nerd.
Like, he liked computers
better than people.
But once you gave him a script
and put a little
outfit on him...?
Bam!
He was the leading man.
So it's all a front?
No.
Some people just
do better with a script.
That's why he dated
so many drama queens.
Men like drama.
Hmph! I guess.
I come bearing pizza!
Yay!
You look pensive, Cavendish.
Why aren't you sitting with
your young people over there?
I just wanted some space
to think about tomorrow.
Of course, my presentation
is all prepared and rehearsed,
but still...
I like to go above and beyond.
Oh, women always have to
to get what they want.
That's what I tell my students.
Well, I hope it's easier
for them than it was for me.
I had to make
a lot of difficult choices.
There are many things I might
have wanted in an ideal world
that just weren't compatible
with an academic career
at the time.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no, I like to look forward.
And it's my dearest hope
for you, Professor Cavendish,
in whom I see
so very much of myself,
that you get every
single thing that you want.
The career, the acclaim.
Perhaps some fun
on the weekends...
And a partner.
Why not?
That is,
if you care to have one.
I care to.
Uh, he just has to be
the right one.
Mm-hm!
Isn't that the truth.
A world full of
Wickhams and Collinses.
If you stumble upon a Darcy,
grab him.
It's what Jane
would have wanted.
And I know it's silly
to think of a dead writer
as a friend or someone
who would wish you well, but...
I think she would have
wished us all a Darcy.
But what if you're
not an Elizabeth...?
Hmm?
Nothing, um...
I should head back
up to my room.
Um, they don't need me here,
and I could use the mental space
to prep for tomorrow.
I'll see you at the play?
Yes, of course.
The set looks
better.
I think it has
an excellent chance
of making it through the show.
- Really?
- It's only 40 minutes long.
It is a truth
universally acknowledged
that a writer of genius
must be in want of a topic
to inspire her pen!
Come away from that desk!
There is a ball
in Steven ton tonight!
I care not for balls!
I must dance
with my quill tonight!
I see her before me...
Elizabeth Bennet!
Not handsome enough
to tempt me.
In vain, I have struggled.
This will not do.
You must allow me to
tell you how ardently I love
and admire you!
Woo!
The key for me was
bringing Austen's text to life
through movement.
The quill floating in the air
was an inspiration
and just put the whole piece
into perspective.
- Elly! Where have you been?
- Was I any good?
I know he was fabulous!
I'm starting to understand
this whole Mr. Darcy obsession.
Oh, Dr. Cavendish,
what a performance!
You really must be
an inspirational teacher.
And here...
here is the star of the show!
Oh!
I believe I saw you
at the Lawn Games tournament,
but I don't believe
we were properly introduced.
Oh, this is my sister, Mia.
Mia, this is Professor Jennings.
Oh!
The Professor Jennings
from Princeton?
Well, I suppose
there must be others!
Oh, my sister's
told me all about you!
- Really?
- Well, I hope all good things!
Well, I hope
you're gonna hire her.
Mia!
She's the smartest person
I've ever met.
She knows everything
about literature.
She's an awesome teacher,
and she lives for Austen.
Mia, I don't...
Eloise,
stop selling yourself short.
My sister would be an incredible
professor at Princeton.
No one takes Austen
more seriously than her.
Everyone at this conference
is here to have fun.
I mean, I love fake balls
and funny hats, but not Eloise.
She thinks this is
all ridiculous.
She's here to be a scholar,
not some Austen fan girl.
- Interesting.
- I would have never guessed,
considering how enthusiastically
you participated
in all of the events.
For some reason, I...
I thought you held
a different opinion entirely.
I don't know why.
Professor Jennings, I...
For the record,
I believe a serious scholar
can still on occasion
wear a funny hat.
Uh, what that scholar wears
on their head has no power
to diminish
what she has inside it.
Well, I, uh...
I better get back to the party.
Again, Mia, congratulations.
Professor Cavendish.
Bye.
- Did I just...
- Mia...
Do you ever think
before you speak?
You just ruined my chance
at the Princeton job!
I didn't mean to!
I was just trying to tell her
how good you'd be.
I had everything under control
until you blew in here
like a force of nature!
My hotel room, my chance
with Professor Jennings,
my peace of mind, gone!
- I'm sorry, I...
- I'm sorry too, Mia.
I'm sorry that
I tried to stop you
from making the biggest
mistake of your life,
because you are unstoppable.
And the more I try to
put your life in order,
the more you ruin mine!
It's not your job
to put my life in order.
Then why do you turn to me
the second anything goes wrong?
I have to be the big sister,
I have to be the strong one.
- I can never just...
- Eloise!
Please just leave me alone.
Eloise?
Hey, um...
You alright?
Just tired.
Thought I'd sneak up to my room
while everyone
was congratulating my sister.
- Hm.
- Why wouldn't I be alright?
I saw you with Mia.
And I just
wondered if you were
disappointed about the play.
You know, 'cause, um, Jenny
had asked you first, and
well, in the garden, you said
that Mia has a tendency...
Why would I want
to be in the play?
Well... I mean, it was...
Well, it was really good fun.
I'm sure you had a great time,
but believe me,
there's nothing I would like
less than being up on that stage
in front of everyone,
kissing you.
Oh.
I don't know how many times
I have to say this.
I'm not like you.
I'm not like Mia.
I don't like being
the centre of attention.
I'm not trying to set myself
at the centre of
some romantic fantasy
for everyone to gawk at.
I just want to be left alone,
and for some reason that hasn't
happened since I got here.
You don't have
to dance with me.
Tomorrow, at the ball, really.
You don't have to.
Well, my aunt Victoria
does love the ball, but, well,
she already likes you a lot,
and, uh, I promise that
I won't tell her what I said.
I should... I should never
have held that over you.
See, honestly...
The truth is that you
hurt my feelings, and...
I had to make a joke of it
and devote the past few days
to pulling your pigtails and
well, making you
do things that you disliked.
I would like to, um
officially relieve you
of any and all obligations
that you have towards me,
and whatever happens
- your secret's safe.
- Sam...
I don't want to
dance with someone
who doesn't want
to dance with me.
Uh...
Saved by the bell.
I guess this is goodnight.
Yeah.
I guess so.
Eloise?
I know you're awake.
I heard you stop breathing
when I came in.
I want to talk to you.
Or at you. At you is fine too.
I'm so sorry.
Tomorrow might be one of
the biggest days of your life.
You always support me,
and the one time
you need my support...
I've been a terrible sister,
and everything that
happened today is my fault.
No, it's not.
There was this whole thing
with Professor Jennings
that I didn't tell you about.
Because I didn't let you.
I just emoted
all over your hotel room,
and I didn't leave space
for anything else.
I could have noticed
the strain you were under
and actually tried to help.
I could have done what
you would have done in my place.
Mia, I like helping you.
And you hate being helped?
Because too bad, sister.
From now on, there's got to be
a little give and take.
Why didn't Rob
just buy the stupid flowers?
I don't know.
What's done is done,
we said what we said,
and now I have to deal with it.
Can you?
I don't know.
But...
I have hope.
There are Darcys
in the world after all.
Mia?
"Hey, big sis.
"I'd wish you luck today,
but you don't need it.
"What I thought you could use
"is a little alone time
to prepare.
"You've got caffeine,
you've got carbs,
"and you've got this."
"Love, Mimi."
"I would like to thank
"the Jane Austen
League of America
"for inviting me here today
to speak to you
"about the inimitable
Jane Austen,"
"novelist, satirist"
see
what Darcy sees in Elizabeth.
We can deduce then,
that for Austen,
the property not only becomes
an indication
of social standing,
but ultimately symbolic
of the characters themselves,
leading us back to
the exquisite detail captured
the moment Elizabeth Bennet
first saw Pemberley.
Thank you.
Woo!
Hi, you were so good!
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
I'll see you at the ball.
Elly!
You were fantastic!
Got your note.
It's the sweetest thing
anyone's ever written me.
I appreciated it almost
as much as the latte.
Professor...
Mia.
I wanted to tell you
how much I enjoyed your talk.
I was a little short yesterday.
Mostly out of surprise.
But I've been thinking,
and I wanted to reassure you
that I admired your behaviour
during this conference
before our conversation
yesterday, and I admire it now.
- You do?
- Yes, of course.
Your quick wit, your willingness
to help, your positive attitude.
All the more impressive
given your initial doubts.
It's true.
I wasn't on board with
any of this at first, but...
I've changed my mind.
And the ability to do so
is the greatest talent
a scholar can have.
As for your wish to make
a good impression, well,
when we're colleagues,
you'll learn that I am
the last person in the world
to think ill of a woman
for her ambition.
Did you say "when"?
Shh-shh-shh!
Not a word until it's official.
Am I hallucinating, or did you
just get hired at Princeton?
I think I just got hired
at Princeton.
Ooh!
Now we can go
celebrate at the ball!
Uh...
I need to do something first.
Okay.
Kelsey?
I made a huge mistake.
I know it's probably too late,
but...
It's never too late.
It isn't? For what?
To dress up for the ball.
I had to finish
the white batiste anyway,
and I already have
your measurements, so...
- What?
- Come with me.
Professor Jennings?
Have you seen Sam?
Dr. Cavendish!
You look lovely!
Thank you.
Mr. Darcy always arrives late.
Just like in the book.
- Victoria.
- It's time to start the ball.
Oh...
Well, I think our keynote
speaker should do the honours.
What say you, Professor?
It would be an honour.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Excuse me, everyone?
If I could have your attention
for a moment.
Rob?
Mia Cavendish...
Oh!
Mia, you are the wildest,
most maddening woman
that I know,
but you are also the kindest
and the most lovable.
If you want a big,
romantic gesture;
If you want me to make
a fool out of myself
in front of everybody,
I will do that,
because I want to spend
the rest of my life
making sure that you get
everything you want.
So...
Will you...
- Is that a yes?
- Do I need to ask you again?
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
This is not at all
period-appropriate.
I can't help it...
I think you might be
needing this.
- Ooh!
- And congratulations.
Oh!
Eeh!
I can't apologize
to you or Rob enough.
This is all thanks to you,
and Sam, of course.
Sam?
Yeah!
Didn't you know?
He spent all today talking
with Rob and getting him ready.
Where did you think
Rob got the outfit?
Well, it's just, yesterday you
were talking to Sam constantly,
- and I...
- Yeah, about Rob.
Eloise, you didn't think...
Let's not rehash
what I thought.
I'm just so happy for you.
Mmm! I'm happy for me too!
We're getting married!
And now we actually will hear
from our keynote speaker,
Dr. Eloise Cavendish,
who will commence the dancing.
Thank you. I, um...
Sorry.
I'm so sorry, it's just
my sister just got engaged.
But I do want to say one thing
before we officially
begin the evening.
I have loved these novels
and these characters
since I was 13.
Back when Pride and Prejudice
was the most romantic book
I had ever read.
Since then, I have learned
so much more about Austen,
her world and the compromises
she had to make.
And it's still the most romantic
book I have ever read.
And that scares me.
I'm scared of emotion.
Scared of being swept away.
And I'm even scared of dancing.
Scared of looking like a fool,
and that's what can happen
on the dance floor, right?
Missing a step
and making a fool of yourself.
But if there's one thing
I learned this weekend,
one thing I've learned
from reading and re-reading
these books
that we all love so much
it's that fools and heroines
are not separate categories.
You have to risk being one
in order to become the other.
So, as we proceed
to the dance floor,
there's someone here with
a place on my dance card.
If he wants it.
Eloise...
Professor Cavendish!
I understand
congratulations are in order.
Victoria told me
about Princeton.
Couldn't be more deserved.
That's very kind of you.
I heard you were up
for the same job.
- Me?
- Whatever gave you that idea?
I'm wildly under-qualified.
But my aunt told me that you
were interviewing with her
at the conference.
I can't imagine
why she'd say that.
Unless she didn't want you
to know the real reason
we're spending
so much time together.
The real reason?
I'm retiring, Mr. Lee.
It's high time I think about
more important things
than career.
More important things like...
Aunt Victoria?
We were
post-doctorate sweethearts.
Can you believe it?
But I'd already been bitten
by the acting bug,
so I left academia, and her.
I was an idiot.
Luckily, she's very forgiving.
This weekend
miracles indeed.
Well!
I suppose you young people
are done listening to me snivel.
Go, dance!
Excuse me.
Victoria...
Victoria, might I reserve
your first Maggot?
Of course!
Huh.
He didn't even apply.
I've just spent the last
few days trying to separate
my aunt from her one true love.
I think we've all learned
a few lessons this weekend,
me especially.
Hm.
So
are you ready?
Ready for what?
Ready to dance.
Oh, pleasure.
Really, you don't have to...
Sam, if you try to weasel out
of this dance again,
I'm going to lose my temper,
and I wouldn't want to
give you that satisfaction
a second time.
Was that a witty remark?
While dancing, yes.
I have you to thank
for my sister's happiness.
Oh, that was all Rob.
Turns out all he needed
was a little push.
Don't we all.
Did you hear
I'm moving to Princeton?
You are?
- When?
- Next fall.
By the way,
I didn't do it for Rob.
I didn't do it for Mia either.
Why, then?
Turns out that some women
can't be charmed.
Some women can only be won
by doing something substantive.
Oh, I was charmed.
I just didn't want to admit it.
Hm.
For the record,
I wasn't we a selling out of
dancing with you last night.
I've always wanted
to dance with you.
I just meant that, well, you
didn't have to dance with me
in order to...
In order to what?
Eloise Cavendish,
you can do anything you want.
I'm thinking of something
really, really inauthentic
to the period.
Like...?
Have you read it before?
Many times.
Ah, you're a romantic.
That's interesting.
You see I'm reading Austen
and you assume I'm a romantic?
Why?
Jane Austen
writes romance novels.
Can I ask if you've
ever read any of her books?
Pretty sure I saw a movie.
Right.
Heaving bosoms
and declarations of passion?
And men in wet shirts.
All very pleasant,
but it doesn't make Austen
a romance author.
A comic genius,
a social realist,
a prose assassin taking down
the powerful and fatuous
with a well-aimed
dagger of a sentence...
Anything but a romance author.
You're a teacher, aren't you?
- Professor.
- Austen's my speciality.
You can specialize
in Jane Austen?
You can have
a whole conference on it!
That's why I'm on this plane.
Jane Austen League of America
Annual Conference and Ball?
I'm the keynote speaker.
Wow! You must go every year.
Once, when I was 15.
But let's not relive that.
The JALA people can be
a little... romantic.
They have balls,
and dancing, and
some of them even dress up.
Not really my thing.
Then why accept the gig?
Victoria Jennings.
She's on the Princeton
hiring committee,
and I'm up for the job.
Plus, my little sister
lives in town.
So, should I come
hear the big speech?
Definitely!
But you should do
some prep work first.
Hmm...
Oh, um...
I wanted to give you this
before I go,
if you don't mind.
A reading list?
Enjoy!
Oh, and I need this back.
Excuse me.
Hello?
Hey, big sister! Where are you?
- Just deplaned.
- Did Rob propose yet?
No! But it's soon!
He visited his mom last weekend.
Perfect time to get the ring.
I can't wait to see
what he has planned!
He is a planner.
And sweet and handsome,
and absolutely the best guy
you've ever dated!
I agree!
And now to spend my time
finding you a husband.
Don't do that.
You leave me no choice.
You're guy-blind.
You ignore everyone
who isn't fictional.
- That's not true.
- Hi!
I just never meet anyone
who's interested in me.
What about this weekend?
It's a whole group of people
who love literature.
You could meet your own
personal Mr. Darcy.
Ugh!
Spot him across
a crowded ballroom...
He's in a top hat...
You're in your Elizabeth Bennett
costume from 10th grade.
Professor Jennings is one of.
America's foremost scholars.
I'm not here to flirt.
I'm here to give
an amazing keynote
and show her that I
take Austen seriously.
Ugh.
Even if I wanted to,
which I do not,
it's very unlikely I would
meet any man at a conference
that is 75% women,
let alone personal Mr. Dar...
Eloise?
- I gotta go.
- Someone's here for me.
Eloise Cavendish?
Yes?
I'm your
guest-of-honour liaison.
Oh, that isn't necessary.
I'm here to take you
over to the, uh, venue,
and to make sure that you have
everything that you need.
And the outfit and
the accent?
Oh, I'm the official
Mr. Darcy of the conference.
The accent is real.
Mr. Darcy!
Miss Cavendish,
your carriage awaits!
Oh, please don't bow again.
Look, I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be rude, but
a lot of people are staring.
I really don't need any of this.
You don't need a ride?
I have rideshare. Thanks!
Uh, wait, Miss Cavendish!
- It's not Miss.
- Uh, Madame?
Technically, it's Doctor.
Look, I'm sorry, I just...
I don't need anything!
Goodbye.
Dr. Cavendish?
Uh
please just call me Eloise.
No, I'm sorry, I didn't
introduce myself properly.
I'm Sam Lee.
You having a little trouble
with rideshare?
Yeah.
The conference location
is a little remote,
which is why JALA,
in its infinite wisdom,
opted to provide you with
a guest-of-honour liaison.
It was, uh, my own smart idea
to come dressed like this.
Honestly, you look great.
It's just that I don't like...
- Fun?
- Dress-up.
It's fine for people
who enjoy it,
but I don't like
being a spectacle.
Well, then we should
probably get out of here, then.
Please.
So, tonight you have
the Speaker's Reception.
There's a dance lesson,
and a chocolate tasting.
What's so funny?
Mr. Darcy in a compact?
Well, they're
very reliable cars.
This is the Duchess Square
Resort and Gardens.
It's where we will be
spending the weekend.
Horrible?
I think I can tolerate it.
- Ah, good.
- Well, let me walk you in.
- Oh, that won't be necessary.
- I'd rather go in on my own.
Okay. Well, as you wish.
Uh, but you need anything,
then I'm...
I'll let you know!
Thank you very much.
Enjoy the conference.
Hello. Uh, Cavendish, please.
Dr. Cavendish,
our keynote speaker!
Here is your goodie bag.
Oh!
Did you meet up
with your liaison?
Mr. Lee?
Isn't he something?
Mmm!
Oh, I'm getting a call.
Mia?
- I can't!
- Mia!
I can't... Take it!
Rob, what's going on?
Hi, Eloise.
- Are you okay?
- Why is Mia crying?
Oh, you should
probably ask her,
'cause I don't understand her
and I never will.
Rob...
She forgot this.
Have a nice weekend.
Rob!
- Mia?
- Is he gone?
Oh...
He asked me to give you these.
Do you want to talk
in my hotel room?
People are staring.
What do they care?
Well, a pretty woman in tears
is always a subject of interest.
I take it
you are not engaged...?
We broke up.
- Mia, why?
- What did you do?
- What did I do?!
- Why do you always think it's me?
Sorry! You thought
he was gonna propose!
Well, I can't
talk about it right now.
I just can't go home.
Do you wanna... stay with me?
- You've got your speech.
- You have to network.
Mia, whatever this is,
I'm not letting you
face it on your own.
Thank you!
I promise
I won't be any trouble.
I'll just lie in bed
watching cable,
sobbing into Room Service,
mourning
the destruction of my life.
You won't even see me!
Do you want some water?
Uh-uh.
A hot bath?
No.
Ice cream?
Mm-hm...
Professor!
Professor Cavendish?
Professor Cavendish!
Jenny! What are you doing here?
Remember how in your class
I wrote a play
instead of a final paper?
- Vividly!
- Guess what?
The Complete Works of
Jane Austen, Abridged,
is about to become a reality.
I'm producing it
at the conference!
This conference?
The JALA people were really
into my PowerPoint presentation.
I told them how much
you inspired me.
That's wonderful, but the play
was completely your idea.
You know what
you tell us in class:
Women have to go
above and beyond
to get what they want.
This play is my beyond.
You'll come see it, won't you?
I'm gonna be casting it
with members of the conference
and we're gonna be
rehearsing it all weekend...
Like in Mansfield Park.
Of course, that didn't
work out well for them,
so that scene is
cut from the third act.
Also, the JALA people
didn't like that it was
more than an hour,
so it's just 40 minutes.
And then I decided to cut
Sense and Sensibility
because your note was
just absolutely influential
in the making of this play.
Oh, and then I did a major
rewrite to fit in Lady Susan.
I'll be directing, and I'll be
playing the role of Jane Austen!
You're... gonna come, right?
I mean, you don't have to,
but I'd, like, die if you don't.
Oh, excuse me, Miss.
Wow.
Um, Mr. Lee,
this is my student, Jenny.
I'm sorry, but I need to
speak to Professor Cavendish
on some very important
guest-of-honour business.
Right.
Uh, if you'll excuse us, Jenny,
I'll see you at your theatrical.
Okay!
Bye!
Goodbye!
- What is it?
- Oh, nothing.
I just... thought
you needed rescuing.
Uh, you gave me a pleading look.
Oh.
That wasn't a pleading look.
My eyes rested on you
for a second
and then I immediately
looked away.
Yes.
Well, anyway,
there's a special lesson
to learn all the country dances
for the ball...
Oh, thank you,
but no, I don't dance.
You don't dance?
Well, that can't be true.
If you don't dance,
then you're not a dancer,
and if you're not a dancer,
then how do I reserve
your first dance?
Adorable, aren't they?
They're handing them out
at registration because...
Please stop.
Stop what?
Mr. Lee, there will be no
first dance or second dance,
or any other number.
I will not be dancing,
dressing up,
or pretending to be a teenage
heroine husband-hunting
in a dead century.
I'm a scholar, not some
Fitzwilliam Darcy fan girl.
Fangirl?
I'm not one of these women
who hang off your every word
just because you're wearing
breeches and a hat.
You like attention, Mr. Lee.
There's nothing wrong with that,
but you won't be getting
any of it from me.
Hmm!
You know, you can be a scholar
and still have a little fun.
Dr. Victoria Jennings?
Hmm?
Excuse me!
I need to network.
Enjoy the rest
of the conference!
So many choices!
Oh!
If you'd like a recommendation,
I am a bit of an expert.
- Oh!
- Well, I'm a complete beginner,
so I'll take
any tea tips you have.
- Oh!
- I'm Eloise Cavendish.
- Oh, hello!
- Victoria Jennings, pleasure.
Oh! Is that my edition?
- Yes!
- Oh, please join me!
My personal favourite
is the Rose Congou.
It's a bit of an acquired taste,
so we'll start you in
on the Lady Grey.
Two minutes!
Eloise, I'm so glad
I ran into you.
I am looking forward
to your keynote.
- It's quite an honour.
- I just hope I do it justice.
Well, these events
can be challenging.
Not your traditional
academic conference.
The attendees can be so, uh
passionate.
- I've noticed!
- All the costumes, the balls...
It's like Comic-Con
for Jane Austen fans.
Yes, I know!
Isn't it marvellous?
Mmm!
I look forward to it
every year.
I spend all my time
studying Austen,
and then I finally
get a chance to live it!
Uh-huh! Yeah, of course!
I mean, you've got to be able
to enjoy yourself, don't you?
I mean, otherwise,
how can you instill that joy,
that love of literature
to your students?
That's
- such a good point.
- Mmm!
I know some scholars who
look down on JALA as something,
oh, I don't know, unserious.
As if you have to take
Austen seriously
in order to understand her.
Snobs. Dismal, boring snobs!
Oh, Samuel!
Samuel, come over here
and meet my new friend.
- Oh, you don't have to.
- He's clearly busy.
Samuel!
Uh, Professor Cavendish,
I'd like to introduce... muah!
My nephew.
He plays Mr. Darcy
at the conference.
Oh, we've met.
Uh, Sam was kind enough
to get me from the airport.
He's my guest-of-honour liaison.
He's been... great.
Well of course,
the official JALA Mr. Darcy
shouldn't be anything
less than a perfect gentleman!
Works in start-ups.
Single.
Um, we were just saying
how much fun the ball will be.
Oh! Really?
Mm-hm!
Oh, Samuel,
she's a delightful woman.
Not one of those stuffed-shirt
academics who doesn't know
how to cut loose
and party like it's 1810.
Speaking of which,
you didn't invite her
to the special dance lesson.
She's missing it.
He did. I told him that I...
Already know all the dances.
- Really?
- Oh, yes!
Dr. Cavendish is a huge fan
of English country dancing.
Oh, apparently, she belongs
to an association back home.
- No, I don't...
- Oh, don't be modest!
No, she knows them all!
The Arlington Assembly,
the Ashford Anniversary,
even Mr. Beveridge's
After Dinner Maggot!
Oh! Which is your favourite?
The After Dinner Maggot...?
Oh, I knew it!
Oh, Samuel,
I hope you reserved a dance!
Oh, the very first one.
Now, has Eloise told you about
the outfit that she has planned?
- No!
- Uh, Mr. Lee?
Can I steal you for a moment?
Just, I have a few
guest-of-honour questions.
Oh, but of course!
Take a turn about the room!
Please, you've made your point.
Really?
Or perhaps I was
just asking for attention.
Mr. Lee,
I am so sorry for what I said!
I can be controlling
when I feel
stressed.
I stressed you?
- No. Not you.
- The whole conference.
Look, I'm on the edge
of something I've worked for
my entire life.
My sister's up in my hotel room
crying with her heart broken.
I took it out on you.
It was no way to treat someone
who's been nothing but kind.
You won't tell your aunt,
will you?
You're up for that new
professorship at Princeton,
aren't you?
So, if there's anything
I can do to make it up to you...
Then you'll do it as long
as I keep my mouth shut?
- Yes.
- Hmm.
Alright.
Actually,
I'll do you one better.
I'll help you get the job.
Now, my aunt may seem easygoing,
but she is not
when it comes to the
Princeton English Department,
and she is definitely not
when it comes to
a Jane Austen scholar.
But I've had a lifetime
to learn what she likes
and what she doesn't, so...
I can advise you.
Why would you do that for me?
Oh, I'm not doing it for you.
Look...
That is Crispin Crane.
Actor turned academic.
He played Mr. Willoughby
for British television in 1986.
He's been hovering around
my aunt like a fruit fly
on a banana.
My aunt practically
blushed when she told me
that she was interviewing him
at the conference.
He's flirting
his way into the job.
You want me to block him?
Yes.
My aunt has suffered
enough heartbreak.
I don't want her to get hurt
by some warmed-up
Willoughby wannabe cad.
So, do we have a deal?
What exactly am I agreeing to?
Well, there's the dancing.
You missed
the special dance lesson,
so you've a lot of
catching up to do.
And the outfit.
The outfit?!
Kelsey can probably
help us with that.
Oh, and I need a partner
for the Lawn Games tournament.
My aunt respects
a killer instinct.
But beyond that, just agree
with her on all matters of taste
and, well, be the fantastic
scholar that JALA says you are.
Deal.
No bowing!
Oh, now, that...
You see, that is the sort of
stuffed-shirt attitude
that you're gonna
have to work on.
Text me your room number
and I'll pick you up
at 9:00 am sharp.
Oh, aren't you adorable!
Miss Scott!
What a surprise.
Mr. Darcy, I don't understand.
What are you doing here?
You act as if
I invaded your territory!
- Elly-bell? What happened?
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- Just academic job search stuff.
I got a lot to do tomorrow.
- Wait, should I go?
- No!
Because I can go.
No, I'm not kicking you out
in the middle of the night.
A romcom?
Is now really the time?
Nothing else was on
except that wedding dress show.
Do you have my ice cream?
Uh...
Praline and Prejudice
or Mansfield Chunk?
What's Mansfield Chunk?
Basically Rocky Road
but with coffee.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah.
What does that mean, exactly?
Nothing.
What's wrong with men?
Why didn't Rob propose?
It's not
that he didn't propose.
- He proposed?!
- In the kitchen!
Over takeout coffee
like it was an afterthought.
He didn't even kneel!
He just handed me
the mocha and said,
"So, there's something
I wanna talk to you about."
Oh...
And then he went right
into talking about finances
and house down payments
and timelines!
I'm surprised he didn't
have a PowerPoint about
why it was "A good decision!"
Well, isn't it a good decision?
I mean, you two just
work together.
But there was nothing
about love in that proposal!
No passion, no romance.
And I just thought, "This is
gonna be the rest of my life."
This is the most important
moment of our love story
and all he gave me
was a mocha from the kiosk
in the grocery store!
He could have at least
grabbed roses!
They're right there!
Did you tell him how you feel?
He doesn't think it's valid.
Well, I can
talk to him for you.
Just... I think you have
a communication issue.
There's no fixing this, Eloise.
I'm a romantic!
And he's an accountant.
All this time,
he supposedly loved me
and he was just putting up
with my nonsense.
Did he say that?
I don't wanna be
put up with, Eloise.
I wanna be loved!
Aw...
I love you, Mimi.
And I put up
with your nonsense.
But for what it's worth,
I do think Rob loves you too.
Love is about
putting yourself out there,
risking it all.
Rob isn't willing
to risk anything!
Huh?
- It's just the housekeeper.
- Go back to sleep.
- Shh.
- My sister is still sleeping.
Oh my gosh.
You're wearing it again.
Actually,
this is my hunting suit.
You're really
trying to embarrass me
as much as possible, aren't you?
Oh, it's not all about you.
After all,
I am the conference Mr. Darcy.
I have a responsibility
to look this good.
Hmm.
- Shall we?
- We shall!
- Is that a first edition Cowper?
- Uh, focus, Eloise.
I want you to meet someone.
Kelsey?
Kelsey?
- Oh...!
- Ah. You have a client.
This is Eloise Cavendish,
my guest of honour.
Eloise, this is Kelsey Shelton,
genius costumier.
Hi.
You have excellent posture.
Hmm!
Hmm. Thank you.
Kelsey and I have been friends
since high school,
ever since we were
in tech crew together
for Much Ado About Nothing.
He was chasing
a girl playing Hero,
knew nothing about theatre,
and kept breaking things.
You weren't in the cast?
In high school I was,
you know, quiet and...
Huge nerd.
But it paid off
for this Craftsy thing.
Craftsy?
It's that website
for independent craftspeople
who sell handmade goods.
Uh, yeah, I know it.
My sister loves it.
You sold stuff on Craftsy?
No, I built
the start-up company
that provides billing
and compliance software services
for independent artisans who
sell things on Craftsy.
- And then Craftsy bought it...
- You're welcome.
I was his inspiration.
Interstate tax compliance
was really
cutting into my sewing time.
- Arms up, please.
- Uh, I don't know if I, um...
Don't most people just
wear an evening gown?
But we don't
want to be most people.
No, you want to stand out.
So, Sam was telling me
that this is a rush job,
but I have a couple of
half-finished pieces
I can adapt.
White batiste with
pink accents!
Did you bring your period-
appropriate undergarments?
Okay, no, I can't do this.
I-I can't wear a costume.
You're not gonna tell on me
for not wearing
a period-appropriate
undergarment, are you?
Well, when you
put it like that...
Kelsey, change of plan.
Rush job's off.
- What?
- I tell you what.
You can wear an evening gown
if you wear these.
Completely inaccurate.
There's no period
fabrics at all.
They're $30...
Bargain!
Pleasure doing
business with you.
You would have
looked so authentic!
I'm sorry, Kelsey.
Thank you for trying.
Okay, I need coffee
and food in that order.
Okay, well, the, uh,
buffet's open till 10:30.
I'll take you.
Oh... uh, oh,
you don't have to do that.
Uh, yes I do.
My aunt eats late.
Right!
Ah! See, what did I tell you?
Uh... Ow, what?
There's Crane!
Oh, look at him primping
into his baked beans.
Distract him.
- Me?!
- Yes, delay him
as long as you can,
and meet me in the craft hall.
- The craft hall?
- Mm-hm.
Uh, Dr. Crane? Crispin Crane?
Uh, yes.
From the 1986
British television production
of Sense and Sensibility?
Yes, in fact.
And you are...?
Eloise Cavendish.
I'm actually giving
the keynote speech.
How impressive.
- I was just going...
- I'm a big fan.
Really?
I would have thought
you were a bit young
for that particular version.
It's been so outshone
by subsequent,
you know, adaptations.
Oh, well, a classic
can never be outshone!
Thank you.
I abandoned that life long ago,
but it's nice to be remembered.
If you don't mind...
Uh, can... can I ask...
There's, um, um... there's
a talk later today on Wickham,
on whether he can really
be considered a villain.
As someone who played
one of Austen's villains
in a major
television production...
Oh, hardly major, my dear.
Well, still,
wouldn't you say that, um,
playing Willoughby gave
you an unusual insight
into his character?
Of course,
but it's not always useful.
Oh, really?
I retain a certain partiality
towards the character
that makes it very hard for me,
to this day,
- to see him as a villain.
- Oh!
As I was just saying
to my friend, Victoria...
Victoria?
Ah, would you please...?
Uh...
Um...
Ahh!
That is stunning.
You really have an eye.
- Look, Samuel.
- Professor Cavendish is here.
Oh, fantastic. I need a model.
Oh, no.
Did you get rid of Crane?
- Mm-hm.
- Chin up.
You really have
the bone structure for bonnets.
Why don't you make one
with my aunt?
Oh, I-I'm not very crafty.
Oh, it's just gluing to taste.
You can change it if you like.
"I do not think
it is very pretty,
"but I shall pull it to pieces
as soon as I get home"
"and see if I can
make it up any better!"
Lydia Bennet!
I think that's one of the most
telling passages in the novel.
It shows us how Lydia views men.
As interchangeable?
Exactly.
One bonnet is
just as good as another
if you pretty it up
with a nice piece of satin.
And one man
is just as good as the next
if he's wearing
the right uniform.
- Mm-hm!
- Uh, excuse me!
Oh, Samuel, not you, dear.
You're unique and perfect
all the way through.
- Oh, I don't know.
- For most people around here,
I'm just a pair of breeches
and a hat.
I don't know what
I'm gonna do with this thing,
but am I crazy to think
that that went well?
Are you kidding?
No, you nailed it.
I mean, you busted out
that Lydia Bennet quote.
I mean, anyone can
quote Elizabeth, but Lydia?
I have to admit,
I thought that crafts project
would be silly, but that was
a fascinating conversation.
Hey, I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
What do you mean?
The whole thing about you being
just a pair of breeches
and a hat.
If I made you feel in any way...
Uh, no.
That was a joke.
Uh, I don't know
if you've noticed,
but I make a lot of those.
Is that a defence mechanism?
The hat or the jokes?
Yeah, we are not
psychoanalyzing me,
we are here to get you that job.
I thought I nailed it!
- Uh, professor?
- It is only Thursday.
We have a long weekend
ahead of us,
and you still don't know
how to dance.
Ah-ah-ah, don't make that face!
You told my aunt
that you know all the dances.
I didn't, you did!
Let's not throw blame around.
We have work to do.
- I have an idea...
- I'll break my ankle.
Oh, no, good idea.
Break it
while learning to dance.
Uh, this part of the hotel
doesn't look open to guests.
Are you always
such a rule-follower?
Huh, well, I guess
that's a great way
to avoid being noticed.
Now you're psychoanalyzing me?
- Where are we going?
- Somewhere private.
You'd get embarrassed otherwise.
That's surprisingly
considerate.
Plus, we can't risk
revealing your dark secret.
That I can't dance?
That you're no fun.
Now, it's just a little bit
closed for renovations,
but that means that
no one will wander in.
Unless they're willing
to ignore all the signs.
What can I say?
I like exploring.
I found this place yesterday,
and I thought to myself,
"There must be
some earthly use for it."
It's lovely.
And I'm sure any
pretty, young Jane Austen fan
you brought here
would be swept off her feet.
So, first things first.
The After Dinner Maggot.
- Come on.
- Come, come, come, come, come!
The men on this side,
women on that side.
Although we never
have enough men,
so you'll probably
have to learn both sides.
Right, we split and return.
May I? And, here we go!
And...
'Round the other dancers.
- What dancers?
- Uh, the imaginary dancers.
That's it, and...
And right, left, right,
and right.
And left, right, left,
and left, and left.
Left, uh...
You're the left.
Okay.
Now, you allemande on the fourth
corner on the second count
and it's the second corner
on the third.
But remember that we have to
end up where we started
- so that we can switch again.
- What?!
Dah... dah...
Dah, dah, dah!
Good! Much better!
Now, you made it through
the whole figure
without making any mistakes.
Now you may venture
a witty remark.
- I can't.
- My brain's processing power
- is tied up in my feet.
- Well, ignore your feet.
You're looking
at your feet so much
that I'm starting
to get jealous.
Look at me.
Remember, I like attention.
You're so annoying.
You are so
graceful.
See?
It wasn't that bad, was it?
Now, the next step is
to do it all again,
but without counting
under your breath
and without stomping around
like you're wearing moon boots.
Now, just relax.
Shoulders back, eyes up,
and remember:
You are graceful,
you are elegant,
you are the most beautiful
girl in the ballroom!
- You must...
- Stop.
This isn't gonna work.
It's fine here by myself, but
out there in front of everyone?
I-I can't do this.
Sorry if I went too fast,
if I, um...
No, it's not you. It's just...
I don't dance!
I don't like being
the centre of attention.
But aren't you
about to give a speech
in front of a room
full of people?
- That's being an academic.
- That's what I'm used to.
I'm used to being the girl
off to the side in the corner
reading a book,
not the girl on the dance floor.
That's Mia.
My sister.
The one in your hotel room.
She's very comfortable
being the centre of attention
and sometimes
will create situations
where that can happen.
Everyone has a role
in their family.
I'm the smart one,
the practical one.
Mia's pretty and reckless
and charming, and
unlike me, a great dancer.
What's the worst
that can happen?
I'll mess up!
I'll look like a fool!
I'll look like a woman
pretending to be...
Pretending to be what?
A heroine in a romance novel,
alright?
I'll look like an unmarried
woman in her thirties
pretending to be
Elizabeth Bennet
looking for Mr. Darcy.
I did pretend to be
Elizabeth Bennet once
for a homecoming dance
when I was 15.
I bought the dress from here.
Well, not here, actually;
Another JALA conference.
You went to a JALA conference
when you were 15?
My parents liked to
encourage my interests.
It's kind of a curse.
But it was a train ride away
and it was
Pride and Prejudice themed,
and I...
I just loved the book so much.
It was the first book I read
that I really loved,
and everyone there loved it too.
And they treated me
like I was
sophisticated and interesting
and like a real-life
Austen ingnue.
Anyway, I got carried away
and I bought this dress.
And you wore it to homecoming?
I thought that if
Cody Anderson could see me
across the dance floor,
he'd realize
how sophisticated
and interesting I was.
Ah! And what happened?
He saw me
across the dance floor
and, uh, he laughed.
And then everyone saw me
and they all laughed,
and then I ran
and hid in the library.
Janitor let me in; Nice man.
Oh.
Well, Cody Anderson's an idiot.
Ah, I bet there was
a boy at that dance
who wondered
where you went all night.
A huge nerd
who was into computers
and classic literature.
Hey, it's not as if I was
tearing up
the dance floor at 15.
Look, I know
that it's embarrassing
to wear this outfit.
You know what the most
embarrassing part is?
No.
I like it.
Come on.
For the first few years,
it was like a favour to my aunt.
But the truth is that I don't
get to be the romantic hero
in my normal life.
No, my normal life
is dealing with start-up bros
and enduring their jokes.
But everywhere I go
as Mr. Darcy,
I make women happy.
- Must be fun.
- No, it is.
Until my aunt points out
all the single women
at the conference who clearly
only like me for my frock coat.
That's why it's so nice to meet
someone who sees beyond
the hat and the breeches and
doesn't like me at all.
Was that another
defence mechanism?
You mean a joke?
Well I hate to
disappoint you, but
you're growing on me.
Huh.
Well, maybe there
is something to be said
for the confidence-boosting
effects of a costume.
Here, put this on.
Why?
Well, you may have
learned the steps,
but now I need you to get
into the spirit of the thing.
I need you to dance
like everyone is watching,
and I need you to wear this hat.
Oh, good lord...
Okay, and five, six,
seven, eight...
Repeat after me:
"I am beautiful."
- What?!
- Come on, say it!
I... am... beautiful!
- No!
- I am beautiful!
I am... oh my gosh.
I am beautiful!
Yes!
I am worthy.
I am also worthy.
Ah, no editorializing!
No jokes. Mean it!
- Look at me.
- Look at me!
Look at me!
Samuel!
Professor Cavendish!
What on Earth
are you doing out here?
I've been looking
everywhere for you!
There's been a disaster.
Annabelle has
bit the refreshments
- for the Lawn Games.
- What?
I don't know what kind of
caterer she engaged,
but they claim it is
for next weekend...
And they will not budge!
Someone needs to make
a picnic for tomorrow
that won't draw shame
onto the head of JALA!
Oh, why can't
the hotel handle it?
Oh, no, they're overbooked
and very unhelpful.
So, Samuel, I was hoping
you could drive into town
and see if you could find
something suitably authentic...
I can help.
You can?
I taught a seminar
in Regency cuisine.
My students were
thoroughly engaged.
That sounds
suspiciously like fun.
Oh, well, come along, then.
No time to waste.
Okay, yeah. Thank you. Bye.
Any luck?
For an order this big,
it's not luck we need,
- it's a miracle.
- Ah.
Well, maybe we need to
think beyond catering.
Well, an authentic
Regency nuncheon would be
cold meats, salad, and fruit.
What Kitty and Lydia
buy their sisters at the inn.
Cold meat and salad...
for how many?
A hundred and twenty.
That's gonna
present a significant
um
difficulty.
I have an idea.
Thank you.
Welcome to Supro Subs.
We serve sandwiches in a snap.
How may we delight you today?
Your giant party sub,
does that serve 20?
- Mm-hm.
- And can you deliver
to the middle of
the Duchess Square Golf Course?
We're happy to delight you
anywhere within
a five-mile radius.
Great, well, I'll take 10
for 12:30 tomorrow.
Oh, and can you
make them carb-free?
Ten
submarine party subs
with no bread?
And the toppings on the side.
We'll also take 60
of your fruit medley cups.
Oh-kay...!
Uh, and would you
like to add chips,
or ultimate chocolate
peanut butter brownies,
or rainbow sprinkle cookies
to your order?
- Yeah...
- Hmm, not very authentic.
Inauthentic won't
impress my aunt.
If I had a kitchen,
there's this recipe I make
every Christmas, but...
Well, there's a perfectly
good kitchen at the hotel.
- Well, we can't use that...
- Come on.
We'll go to
the market on the way.
Thank you!
Oh, I just don't think
that we can.
The hotel has all
these regulations
and the managers are so picky.
We won't take up too much time,
and they hold
cooking classes here, so...
Oh, those are planned
with instructors and notice.
There's no time to arrange
some last-minute... Sam?
- Hi, Annabelle.
- I'm here for the cooking class.
Wait, cooking class?
I'm an expert in Georgian
and Regency cuisines.
I was hoping to demonstrate
syllabubs and Shrewsbury cakes.
Mmm!
If only someone could help us
with the hotel management.
You know that we're
not supposed...
I'll distract them. Go.
I'm gonna do
the dry ingredients.
A cup of sugar...
Just that much.
Wow!
Zest it up.
Whisky business!
You've got to roll this.
- Okay...
- Just like that.
Mm-hm.
And then...
Okay!
Press down,
so that...
Oh, there we go. See?
Ha!
- And...
- Nice.
That...
Wow.
Nice.
So, we just
chill these overnight,
and we are done!
Am I hallucinating?
You looked hungry.
Mmm!
I can't remember the last time
a man cooked for me.
Where'd you learn to do this?
The library.
No, seriously!
It has cookbooks.
My auntie did so much
for me growing up,
and she didn't have much time
when she was getting her tenure,
that, well, cooking was
a way of helping her out.
You two were close?
Still are.
So, after my parents divorced,
my mum was really struggling,
so we moved here to the States
and my auntie took us in.
She didn't have much money
or much room, but,
but she made it work.
Without her, we wouldn't
have made it through.
That's why
you're so protective.
Well, that's what happens
when you grow up
in a household
with two single women!
Too many Wickhams in the world,
not enough Darcys.
Exactly!
I'll dry.
I don't think I could
live with my sister.
Hah!
Well, my mum
did get her own place
as soon as I got out of college,
but she still
lives in Princeton.
In fact, I'm actually trying to,
uh, set up my incubator there.
I spend way too much time
on the train from New York.
Incubator?
Yes, it's a non-profit
to help people set up
a socially responsible start-up.
Hmm!
A do-gooder tech guy.
- Interesting.
- Hmm!
Well, after I sold my company,
I didn't really need
to make any more money.
And, well, I just...
I wanted to do something
to give back.
So you'd move there?
Yeah, I'm thinking about
buying a house there.
I just need to get more people
excited about the non-profit.
I think you will.
I don't know, it's her decision,
but Rob's the best guy
she's dated by miles.
Like, miles and country miles.
I'm talking unsuccessful bands,
wannabe influencers,
and some guy who said
he was gonna get rich
by day trading something
called cyrocurrency?
Oh, it's a type of
a cryptocurrency.
Well, it certainly isn't a job.
There's just been a lot of...
A lot of Wickhams?
Hmm?
You know, Rob drove her here
after they broke up
so she wouldn't be alone.
- That's love.
- Huh.
Is a fancy proposal
that big a deal?
I don't know. Is it to you?
I'd prefer
something substantive.
Something that would
show that he really
cared about what was
important to me.
Well, a fancy proposal
is important to me.
I didn't give you
permission to be right.
- Eloise!
- Mia!
I was just getting some
ice.
You've made a friend!
This is Sam,
my guest-of-honour liaison.
I also play Mr. Darcy
at the conference.
Yes, I see.
They give you your own
personal Mr. Darcy.
Okay, let's go back inside!
Oh... what? My ice!
It's been a long day. Bye, Sam!
Later, Sam!
Hope to see you at the ball!
Bye!
Who was that?
- I told you!
- My guest-of-honour liaison.
We had
some problems to solve.
Solving problems
with a handsome man
with an accent!
- Well, the accent's real.
- He moved here from...
Why are there flowers in here?
I sent them to myself!
Because I suffered
a great heartbreak
and mindless spending helps.
It's rude of you to remind me
when I was so well-distracted
with Mr. Darcy.
First of all, Sam's personality
is nothing like Darcy's.
Okay, so
what is he like?
Actually, the exact opposite.
He's funny and open
and makes a lot of jokes,
but
he's kind.
Do you like him?
Absolutely not!
Okay, but I haven't heard you
say that many nice things
about a non-fictional man
in years.
I like him as a person.
We're not very compatible.
I don't think I could
ever be serious
about a man who enjoys wearing
a Mr. Darcy costume.
Your loss.
He seems like the kind of guy
who'd make a fool of himself,
for love.
You've been spending
a lot of time
with Professor Cavendish?
I'm her liaison.
She's a very interesting woman.
Hmm!
May I offer a word of advice,
Samuel?
Really? Just the one?
Oh, don't make a joke of it
like you always do!
If you like this young woman,
be honest about what you want.
You don't want to wake up
at my age realizing
you've deflected every chance
of happiness with a joke.
It's one of the greatest
dangers in life...
Missed opportunities.
Hmm.
There are dangers
in being honest.
Like what?
Heartbreak.
You see?
That was honest.
Rob, you have
every reason to be upset.
I'm upset.
But if only you could see
how much she's hurting.
She's... hurting?
Rob, she's devastated!
That's surprising,
'cause she said
that I make her miserable.
You don't. You make her happy.
Not the crazy highs and lows
that she used to chase,
but actually happy the majority
of the time I talk to her.
That hasn't happened before.
I can't let you throw that away.
It was a perfectly
good proposal.
I bought her her favourite drink
and I asked
if she was interested
in marriage!
Now, what's wrong with that?
You might have
bought her some roses.
Okay, so, what, I gotta
make a fool out of myself
with some big romantic gesture
before I even know
if she wants to get married,
let alone to me?
We didn't even
talk about it yet.
See, this is what
you should tell her!
If you could just
come to the hotel,
you two could communicate
and actually figure this out.
No big gestures,
just a conversation.
Uh... um, I have to go,
but please just think about
what I said, okay?
Hi.
You're out of uniform.
I thought, since things
are going so well,
that I could take you
on a field trip.
Oh, please, my ego can't take
any more crafting or dancing.
- Don't worry.
- This should be something
that you're very good at.
What am I good at?
What do you think?
Sam, it's wonderful.
"The day has come on which
I am to flirt my last
"with Tom Lefroy,
and when you receive this
"it will be over."
"My tears flow as I write,
at the melancholy idea."
Can you believe how many
people are convinced
that Tom Lefroy was
Austen's lost true love
on the basis of these
two short letters?
It's absurd.
What's absurd about it?
- Well, she's joking.
- She's obviously joking.
"My tears flow as I write this"?
Come on.
Oh, just because
someone's joking doesn't mean
they're not feeling.
Good point.
Still... I wish people
would just admit
that she was a fantastic writer
without needing some romantic
back story that started it all.
"Was he the Wickham
that jilted her
"or the Darcy that got away?"
Maybe he was the Collins
that annoyed her.
She did turn down
a proposal once.
Not from Lefroy,
but another guy.
She went to bed; In the morning,
changed her mind.
That's strange.
You think his proposal
lacked romance?
No, I think she said yes
for practical reasons
and then no because she'd just
be doing it to be married.
And that wasn't enough.
I mean, could any of the men
she'd met have possibly known
who she really was,
the same way her readers do?
Men can read.
With a little help.
So, is that
what you're looking for?
Someone who really
knows who you are?
Well, it certainly isn't
a big romantic proposal.
I don't...
Like being
the centre of attention.
I know.
But if you can't
get through the proposal,
then how are you gonna
get through the wedding?
Oh, no, my literal nightmare!
Why do we make women do that?
Stand up there
in front of everyone
- in a big, ridiculous dress?
- Well, the man is there too.
It's such an ordeal.
Why can't I just
skip to the good part?
Ooh, the good part?
You know what I mean.
Have you ever
turned down a proposal?
Yes.
I get at least one
per JALA conference.
Right...
Breeches and a hat.
Yeah. Doesn't count, though.
Well, you look pretty good
in a jacket too.
Miss Eloise!
It's Doctor!
Oh, okay, Doctor!
Oh...
I feel like an undergraduate.
I know; I should probably
get you out of here
before you expose yourself
to public censure
on account of your behaviour.
- What?
- Nothing.
It's just...
I'm having fun.
Ah!
Are you gonna be
unbearably smug about it?
Definitely.
Fore!
Oh, I'm sorry,
we've reserved this...
Hey!
Monopoly Man!
Hi, Tanner.
Yeah, I remember you!
Hey, guys, it's Sam!
Yeah, the guy that washed up
at VC Pitch Blast in November.
Hey, sorry you
didn't get funding
for that no-profit thing.
Yeah, non-profit.
Yeah, maybe you should
have worn your top hat.
So, uh... what's all this?
This? Oh, this is the, uh,
Jane Austen League
of America conference,
and we have reserved
this area of the golf course
for period-appropriate
lawn games.
Tanner!
Just pick up your ball.
Let's go.
This is the driving range.
Yeah. Uh...
Wow!
Sam Lee, blast from the past.
Hey, did you know we were
in the Stanford Start-up
Incubator together?
First one of us to sell.
Settled for that $50 mill exit,
but people thought
you'd do big things.
What happened to you, man?
Eh, I guess the future's
not for everybody!
Ah...
So, where's your costume?
At the cleaners.
Are all you Jane Austen fan girls
this funny?
Finish your round
and join us for bowling.
You can judge for yourself.
Uh, yeah, okay. Uh, maybe.
Good seeing you, Sam.
Nice to meet you.
And good luck with, uh
this.
Hm.
What was that all about?
Were you hiding from them?
Uh, no. No, no, no.
It's just, you know,
I don't like to, uh,
mix my JALA life
with my professional life.
- Thanks for stepping in, though.
- I appreciate that.
I owed it to you after
everything I put you through.
You? No, no, you're... you're
you're an angel!
Is that the word
you wanted to use?
"Challenge."
You're a challenge.
I like challenges.
Maybe I could start
to like attention.
Elly!
Elly-bell!
Stop everything!
No more fun.
No more fun without me!
Oh, look, Elly-bell,
your sister's here!
I'm done. Done
with the ice cream
and the cable and the crying.
I'm ready for distractions.
Also, Elly,
I hope you don't mind,
I borrowed your bonnet.
Where'd you get that?
Hmm? Oh, I got it at this
old market thing in the hotel.
Didn't want to commit
with the whole dress,
but I wanted to get
in the spirit of the thing,
and out of the spirit
of the other thing.
You know... being dumped.
Well, you are just in time
for Lawn Game.
Oh... yeah!
- I play games!
- Good!
You can be my partner.
Go sign up at the table.
I'll be right over.
Oh, I-I thought we were gonna
we were gonna do that.
- Oh, no, no, it...
- It's much better this way.
You can partner up with my aunt.
Oh, that makes perfect sense!
So much sense...
You can do it! Deep breaths!
Victoria?
- Oh, Crispin.
- Where have you been?
Looking for you, mostly.
I was hoping it's not too late
to engage you as my partner
for the tournament?
Oh, I'd be delighted,
but I'm afraid
Professor Cavendish and I
are well into our first round
of lawn bowling.
No, uh, turning back now.
Mia!
Oh, my turn again already?
Hold this, please.
Tee-hee!
- Ahh!
- Oh, well done!
- Eeh!
- We are in the lead.
Oh!
We can do better than that.
Okay, look, if we do this...
Your sister has
quite the killer instinct.
I'm just glad
she's having a good time.
She just broke up
with her boyfriend.
Oh!
- I'll pass you my parasol.
- One and two.
Ooh, we should incorporate
a bow and a curtsey
in here somewhere.
Really?
- And then I'll...
- Mia!
Rob?
What are you doing here?
- What am I... doing?
- What are you doing here?
Victorian lawn games.
Regency.
Regency lawn games.
Yeah, looks like
an absolute blast.
Who's your friend here?
That's none of your business!
Sam.
I'm Sam Lee.
I wasn't actually
speaking to you
sir.
What, are you on a date
with this, uh,
romance novel
cover model reject?
So what if I am?
Rob, we broke up.
Less than two days ago
I asked you to marry me.
Actually, you should know this.
I asked her to marry me
two days ago.
Uh, I'm just here
for the Lawn Games.
You dumped me!
Because I asked you to marry me.
You said the question
was "depressing."
Not because of you, Rob!
Because of the way
that you asked it!
Well, what did you want?
You want me to make
a fool out of myself
in front of everybody
to prove how much I love you?
It would be nice.
Rob, maybe we can go back to my
hotel room to talk about this.
No, Eloise, I don't need
any more of your help!
I came because you said
Mia was devastated,
and she doesn't look
very devastated.
You told him what?
Well, I just wanted to help
you two communicate.
Well, we're communicating now,
Eloise, are you happy?
And for the record, Rob,
I was devastated.
I completely,
completely love you!
But you don't like me,
because something
that is as important to me
as a romantic wedding proposal
is just like a big joke to you.
Look, I-I don't want it
to end this way, alright?
I don't want it to end
because of some stu...
What can I do, alright?
What's it gonna take?
A lot more than this.
Fine.
I'm... I'm leaving.
And I'm taking these
perfectly good flowers.
- Mia?
- Eloise.
I appreciate the thought but
this has nothing to do with you.
Uh...
Well, I think it's high time
for pall-mall.
I'll get the clubs!
I'll help.
Eloise, I'm sorry.
Look, I honestly
only wanted to cheer her up.
I had no idea
her ex would be here.
And I certainly didn't think
that he would interpret...
There's no need to apologize.
It has nothing to do with me.
I'm sure your sister
didn't mean...
My sister was right.
I've been sticking my nose in
where it's not wanted.
And I have enough to worry about
this weekend with the keynote
and everything else.
Let's exert ourselves!
Let's have fun!
Professor Cavendish!
Jenny?
- I need your help!
- This show is about to be ruined.
- Ruined?
- Two of our actors dropped out.
The play is tomorrow, right?
- It's tonight!
- Oh.
We've got four hours.
I just need two actors
to play Darcy and Elizabeth,
and I was thinking, maybe,
since your friend
already has the costume...
I'd be happy to help.
In fact, I think I can
get you some tech crew.
And then, for Elizabeth,
I was thinking
maybe someone who's
a really good public speaker.
Someone who knows the novels
and kind of sparkles with
vivacity and charisma.
- Well, I'm not sure if I...
- I don't know if I could, um...
I'll do it!
Mia Cavendish, former star
of every high school
and one and a half
college musicals.
Uh, you are
the right size for the costume.
Ha, you are cast!
- Oh!
- You are all cast.
Except you, Professor Cavendish.
Oh, well, I can
help out with the set.
That's where I really shine
in the theatre...
Off-stage.
This'll be just
like high school!
And then come back
around here...
And... bow!
Lift up the quill.
Everyone,
hands up towards the quill.
Hey.
You are
terrible at sewing.
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm never gonna
get through this.
Give it...
Sam texted me
for help with a play.
Just like in high school.
Guess I'll paint.
Who's that
that Sam's talking to?
My sister.
Oh...
She's comfortable
in the spotlight
like Sam.
Are you kidding?
Sam's the shyest man
I've ever known.
When we first met, he could
hardly speak in front of a girl.
You're kidding.
He's been bowing
and kissing hands all weekend.
No, no, no, that's the thing...
It's 'cause
he's wearing a costume.
Girl, watch your brush!
Mm, sorry.
It started in high school
when he stepped in
for Benedict in that Much Ado.
Sam was a weird nerd.
Like, he liked computers
better than people.
But once you gave him a script
and put a little
outfit on him...?
Bam!
He was the leading man.
So it's all a front?
No.
Some people just
do better with a script.
That's why he dated
so many drama queens.
Men like drama.
Hmph! I guess.
I come bearing pizza!
Yay!
You look pensive, Cavendish.
Why aren't you sitting with
your young people over there?
I just wanted some space
to think about tomorrow.
Of course, my presentation
is all prepared and rehearsed,
but still...
I like to go above and beyond.
Oh, women always have to
to get what they want.
That's what I tell my students.
Well, I hope it's easier
for them than it was for me.
I had to make
a lot of difficult choices.
There are many things I might
have wanted in an ideal world
that just weren't compatible
with an academic career
at the time.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no, I like to look forward.
And it's my dearest hope
for you, Professor Cavendish,
in whom I see
so very much of myself,
that you get every
single thing that you want.
The career, the acclaim.
Perhaps some fun
on the weekends...
And a partner.
Why not?
That is,
if you care to have one.
I care to.
Uh, he just has to be
the right one.
Mm-hm!
Isn't that the truth.
A world full of
Wickhams and Collinses.
If you stumble upon a Darcy,
grab him.
It's what Jane
would have wanted.
And I know it's silly
to think of a dead writer
as a friend or someone
who would wish you well, but...
I think she would have
wished us all a Darcy.
But what if you're
not an Elizabeth...?
Hmm?
Nothing, um...
I should head back
up to my room.
Um, they don't need me here,
and I could use the mental space
to prep for tomorrow.
I'll see you at the play?
Yes, of course.
The set looks
better.
I think it has
an excellent chance
of making it through the show.
- Really?
- It's only 40 minutes long.
It is a truth
universally acknowledged
that a writer of genius
must be in want of a topic
to inspire her pen!
Come away from that desk!
There is a ball
in Steven ton tonight!
I care not for balls!
I must dance
with my quill tonight!
I see her before me...
Elizabeth Bennet!
Not handsome enough
to tempt me.
In vain, I have struggled.
This will not do.
You must allow me to
tell you how ardently I love
and admire you!
Woo!
The key for me was
bringing Austen's text to life
through movement.
The quill floating in the air
was an inspiration
and just put the whole piece
into perspective.
- Elly! Where have you been?
- Was I any good?
I know he was fabulous!
I'm starting to understand
this whole Mr. Darcy obsession.
Oh, Dr. Cavendish,
what a performance!
You really must be
an inspirational teacher.
And here...
here is the star of the show!
Oh!
I believe I saw you
at the Lawn Games tournament,
but I don't believe
we were properly introduced.
Oh, this is my sister, Mia.
Mia, this is Professor Jennings.
Oh!
The Professor Jennings
from Princeton?
Well, I suppose
there must be others!
Oh, my sister's
told me all about you!
- Really?
- Well, I hope all good things!
Well, I hope
you're gonna hire her.
Mia!
She's the smartest person
I've ever met.
She knows everything
about literature.
She's an awesome teacher,
and she lives for Austen.
Mia, I don't...
Eloise,
stop selling yourself short.
My sister would be an incredible
professor at Princeton.
No one takes Austen
more seriously than her.
Everyone at this conference
is here to have fun.
I mean, I love fake balls
and funny hats, but not Eloise.
She thinks this is
all ridiculous.
She's here to be a scholar,
not some Austen fan girl.
- Interesting.
- I would have never guessed,
considering how enthusiastically
you participated
in all of the events.
For some reason, I...
I thought you held
a different opinion entirely.
I don't know why.
Professor Jennings, I...
For the record,
I believe a serious scholar
can still on occasion
wear a funny hat.
Uh, what that scholar wears
on their head has no power
to diminish
what she has inside it.
Well, I, uh...
I better get back to the party.
Again, Mia, congratulations.
Professor Cavendish.
Bye.
- Did I just...
- Mia...
Do you ever think
before you speak?
You just ruined my chance
at the Princeton job!
I didn't mean to!
I was just trying to tell her
how good you'd be.
I had everything under control
until you blew in here
like a force of nature!
My hotel room, my chance
with Professor Jennings,
my peace of mind, gone!
- I'm sorry, I...
- I'm sorry too, Mia.
I'm sorry that
I tried to stop you
from making the biggest
mistake of your life,
because you are unstoppable.
And the more I try to
put your life in order,
the more you ruin mine!
It's not your job
to put my life in order.
Then why do you turn to me
the second anything goes wrong?
I have to be the big sister,
I have to be the strong one.
- I can never just...
- Eloise!
Please just leave me alone.
Eloise?
Hey, um...
You alright?
Just tired.
Thought I'd sneak up to my room
while everyone
was congratulating my sister.
- Hm.
- Why wouldn't I be alright?
I saw you with Mia.
And I just
wondered if you were
disappointed about the play.
You know, 'cause, um, Jenny
had asked you first, and
well, in the garden, you said
that Mia has a tendency...
Why would I want
to be in the play?
Well... I mean, it was...
Well, it was really good fun.
I'm sure you had a great time,
but believe me,
there's nothing I would like
less than being up on that stage
in front of everyone,
kissing you.
Oh.
I don't know how many times
I have to say this.
I'm not like you.
I'm not like Mia.
I don't like being
the centre of attention.
I'm not trying to set myself
at the centre of
some romantic fantasy
for everyone to gawk at.
I just want to be left alone,
and for some reason that hasn't
happened since I got here.
You don't have
to dance with me.
Tomorrow, at the ball, really.
You don't have to.
Well, my aunt Victoria
does love the ball, but, well,
she already likes you a lot,
and, uh, I promise that
I won't tell her what I said.
I should... I should never
have held that over you.
See, honestly...
The truth is that you
hurt my feelings, and...
I had to make a joke of it
and devote the past few days
to pulling your pigtails and
well, making you
do things that you disliked.
I would like to, um
officially relieve you
of any and all obligations
that you have towards me,
and whatever happens
- your secret's safe.
- Sam...
I don't want to
dance with someone
who doesn't want
to dance with me.
Uh...
Saved by the bell.
I guess this is goodnight.
Yeah.
I guess so.
Eloise?
I know you're awake.
I heard you stop breathing
when I came in.
I want to talk to you.
Or at you. At you is fine too.
I'm so sorry.
Tomorrow might be one of
the biggest days of your life.
You always support me,
and the one time
you need my support...
I've been a terrible sister,
and everything that
happened today is my fault.
No, it's not.
There was this whole thing
with Professor Jennings
that I didn't tell you about.
Because I didn't let you.
I just emoted
all over your hotel room,
and I didn't leave space
for anything else.
I could have noticed
the strain you were under
and actually tried to help.
I could have done what
you would have done in my place.
Mia, I like helping you.
And you hate being helped?
Because too bad, sister.
From now on, there's got to be
a little give and take.
Why didn't Rob
just buy the stupid flowers?
I don't know.
What's done is done,
we said what we said,
and now I have to deal with it.
Can you?
I don't know.
But...
I have hope.
There are Darcys
in the world after all.
Mia?
"Hey, big sis.
"I'd wish you luck today,
but you don't need it.
"What I thought you could use
"is a little alone time
to prepare.
"You've got caffeine,
you've got carbs,
"and you've got this."
"Love, Mimi."
"I would like to thank
"the Jane Austen
League of America
"for inviting me here today
to speak to you
"about the inimitable
Jane Austen,"
"novelist, satirist"
see
what Darcy sees in Elizabeth.
We can deduce then,
that for Austen,
the property not only becomes
an indication
of social standing,
but ultimately symbolic
of the characters themselves,
leading us back to
the exquisite detail captured
the moment Elizabeth Bennet
first saw Pemberley.
Thank you.
Woo!
Hi, you were so good!
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
I'll see you at the ball.
Elly!
You were fantastic!
Got your note.
It's the sweetest thing
anyone's ever written me.
I appreciated it almost
as much as the latte.
Professor...
Mia.
I wanted to tell you
how much I enjoyed your talk.
I was a little short yesterday.
Mostly out of surprise.
But I've been thinking,
and I wanted to reassure you
that I admired your behaviour
during this conference
before our conversation
yesterday, and I admire it now.
- You do?
- Yes, of course.
Your quick wit, your willingness
to help, your positive attitude.
All the more impressive
given your initial doubts.
It's true.
I wasn't on board with
any of this at first, but...
I've changed my mind.
And the ability to do so
is the greatest talent
a scholar can have.
As for your wish to make
a good impression, well,
when we're colleagues,
you'll learn that I am
the last person in the world
to think ill of a woman
for her ambition.
Did you say "when"?
Shh-shh-shh!
Not a word until it's official.
Am I hallucinating, or did you
just get hired at Princeton?
I think I just got hired
at Princeton.
Ooh!
Now we can go
celebrate at the ball!
Uh...
I need to do something first.
Okay.
Kelsey?
I made a huge mistake.
I know it's probably too late,
but...
It's never too late.
It isn't? For what?
To dress up for the ball.
I had to finish
the white batiste anyway,
and I already have
your measurements, so...
- What?
- Come with me.
Professor Jennings?
Have you seen Sam?
Dr. Cavendish!
You look lovely!
Thank you.
Mr. Darcy always arrives late.
Just like in the book.
- Victoria.
- It's time to start the ball.
Oh...
Well, I think our keynote
speaker should do the honours.
What say you, Professor?
It would be an honour.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Excuse me, everyone?
If I could have your attention
for a moment.
Rob?
Mia Cavendish...
Oh!
Mia, you are the wildest,
most maddening woman
that I know,
but you are also the kindest
and the most lovable.
If you want a big,
romantic gesture;
If you want me to make
a fool out of myself
in front of everybody,
I will do that,
because I want to spend
the rest of my life
making sure that you get
everything you want.
So...
Will you...
- Is that a yes?
- Do I need to ask you again?
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
This is not at all
period-appropriate.
I can't help it...
I think you might be
needing this.
- Ooh!
- And congratulations.
Oh!
Eeh!
I can't apologize
to you or Rob enough.
This is all thanks to you,
and Sam, of course.
Sam?
Yeah!
Didn't you know?
He spent all today talking
with Rob and getting him ready.
Where did you think
Rob got the outfit?
Well, it's just, yesterday you
were talking to Sam constantly,
- and I...
- Yeah, about Rob.
Eloise, you didn't think...
Let's not rehash
what I thought.
I'm just so happy for you.
Mmm! I'm happy for me too!
We're getting married!
And now we actually will hear
from our keynote speaker,
Dr. Eloise Cavendish,
who will commence the dancing.
Thank you. I, um...
Sorry.
I'm so sorry, it's just
my sister just got engaged.
But I do want to say one thing
before we officially
begin the evening.
I have loved these novels
and these characters
since I was 13.
Back when Pride and Prejudice
was the most romantic book
I had ever read.
Since then, I have learned
so much more about Austen,
her world and the compromises
she had to make.
And it's still the most romantic
book I have ever read.
And that scares me.
I'm scared of emotion.
Scared of being swept away.
And I'm even scared of dancing.
Scared of looking like a fool,
and that's what can happen
on the dance floor, right?
Missing a step
and making a fool of yourself.
But if there's one thing
I learned this weekend,
one thing I've learned
from reading and re-reading
these books
that we all love so much
it's that fools and heroines
are not separate categories.
You have to risk being one
in order to become the other.
So, as we proceed
to the dance floor,
there's someone here with
a place on my dance card.
If he wants it.
Eloise...
Professor Cavendish!
I understand
congratulations are in order.
Victoria told me
about Princeton.
Couldn't be more deserved.
That's very kind of you.
I heard you were up
for the same job.
- Me?
- Whatever gave you that idea?
I'm wildly under-qualified.
But my aunt told me that you
were interviewing with her
at the conference.
I can't imagine
why she'd say that.
Unless she didn't want you
to know the real reason
we're spending
so much time together.
The real reason?
I'm retiring, Mr. Lee.
It's high time I think about
more important things
than career.
More important things like...
Aunt Victoria?
We were
post-doctorate sweethearts.
Can you believe it?
But I'd already been bitten
by the acting bug,
so I left academia, and her.
I was an idiot.
Luckily, she's very forgiving.
This weekend
miracles indeed.
Well!
I suppose you young people
are done listening to me snivel.
Go, dance!
Excuse me.
Victoria...
Victoria, might I reserve
your first Maggot?
Of course!
Huh.
He didn't even apply.
I've just spent the last
few days trying to separate
my aunt from her one true love.
I think we've all learned
a few lessons this weekend,
me especially.
Hm.
So
are you ready?
Ready for what?
Ready to dance.
Oh, pleasure.
Really, you don't have to...
Sam, if you try to weasel out
of this dance again,
I'm going to lose my temper,
and I wouldn't want to
give you that satisfaction
a second time.
Was that a witty remark?
While dancing, yes.
I have you to thank
for my sister's happiness.
Oh, that was all Rob.
Turns out all he needed
was a little push.
Don't we all.
Did you hear
I'm moving to Princeton?
You are?
- When?
- Next fall.
By the way,
I didn't do it for Rob.
I didn't do it for Mia either.
Why, then?
Turns out that some women
can't be charmed.
Some women can only be won
by doing something substantive.
Oh, I was charmed.
I just didn't want to admit it.
Hm.
For the record,
I wasn't we a selling out of
dancing with you last night.
I've always wanted
to dance with you.
I just meant that, well, you
didn't have to dance with me
in order to...
In order to what?
Eloise Cavendish,
you can do anything you want.
I'm thinking of something
really, really inauthentic
to the period.
Like...?