Rachel Getting Married (2008) Movie Script
I want my fucking Zippo now.
Walter, that is a behavior
that will get you...
Fuck you!
Are you making a choice?
Hold on.
- Hello?
- Don't you get it yet, Waldo?
She's making a choice
not to give you your lighter
because you'll torch
the self-help library again.
My name's Walter.
Did you kill anybody recently?
Did you run anybody over
with your fucking car?
Is that them?
Yeah. Yes, finally.
You're not going to let her drive, are you?
Walter, you are only responsible
for yourself.
- This all your stuff?
- Yeah.
So you never gave me
your cell phone number.
It was a mistake. I'm lucky I didn't
get fired. We've discussed this.
Hey. Here you are.
I thought you were going to
abandon me in rehab.
- No.
- It's 10:30. You're half an hour late.
I was just standing out here
with these lunatics.
- Oh, my God, you look so great.
- So do you, darling.
- Can I take care of that? Hi, Paul Buchman.
- Rosa. We met last time you came up.
- Yes, hi. Good to see you again.
- Hi.
Okay, let's go. Let's go.
- All right. Sure.
- Great.
- Good luck to you.
- Thank you.
Kym. Good luck to you.
Thank you.
All right. Hey, where is everybody?
- Hey, Carol.
- Hello, Kym.
Where is everybody? Where's Rachel?
She's back at the house getting ready.
There is so much going on at the house,
I cannot tell you, dear.
And you know your sister's doing
everything herself.
My sister's bending the environment
to her will? Really?
There's no wedding planners
or anything like that. It's just her
and Sidney and a whole lot of their friends.
And she is so thrilled
- that you're coming home.
- Great.
- Now, do we have everything?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can we just go?
Is there somebody that...
Anybody you need to say goodbye to?
God, no.
So are all of these energetic, young
wedding helpers staying at the house?
Because after nine months of constantly
revolving cell mates and crazy people and...
You weren't in a cell, Kym.
What? I was sort of looking forward to
a little privacy for once.
The only extra person at the house is Emma.
- Rachel and Emma.
- Yes.
Good God, how relaxing.
The only two people on the planet
less capable of delegating than Hannibal.
- On the eve of a wedding. Nachtmahr.
- Nachtmahr?
Nachtmahr. You don't know Nachtmahr?
Nachtmahrwas a nightmare so bad
it's in German.
I see.
Rachel must be, like, totally freaking out.
Is she too tense?
Are all of her latent food issues
rearing their heads?
Is she still hoarding Snickers
and Cool Whip under the bed
like when she was in high school?
She never did put that one to rest.
I don't think that's a problem
for her, darling.
No offense, Dad, but you never thought
that was a problem for her.
So I'm really looking forward
to seeing Mom.
You'll see your mom tonight and Andrew
at the rehearsal dinner.
Well, maybe I'll head over there,
to her house, after I see Rachel.
Well, I don't know.
Can we pull over, please?
I'm sorry, I feel nauseous,
and I need something to drink.
- I have a Diet Coke for you.
- I prefer Pepsi from the fountain.
Hey, didn't I see you on Cops?
- Olive.
- Hey, there's Olive.
Rented chairs, tribes of people.
Yep.
- Hey, Dad, don't worry about it.
I'll get it. - Got it.
Hi, gentlemen.
Hello.
Anyway, I'm sorry. I just saw a ghost.
- Is this too short?
- Oh, my God! You are just minute!
Kymmie!
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I have pins all over me.
- Yeah, I can feel.
- Kym, could you not smoke in here, please?
- You look great.
- Oh, no, I'm so fat.
Well, rehab makes you fat.
It's all the vending machines.
- No, stop it.
- No, you!
I would swear to God
that you were puking again.
- Hi, Kym.
- Hi, Emma.
Seriously, you're so tiny,
it's like you're Asian.
So what's the deal?
Are you an actual shrink yet?
Even though you're like 12 years old.
Rachel's taking psychology, not psychiatry.
You know the difference, right?
You should prescribe something soothing
for Emma, like Vicodin.
I will have my PhD in a year and a half,
and psychologists don't get
prescription pads.
I think they do in Guam, actually.
Could you please put that out?
Emma designed this dress,
and there's, like, 47 yards of fabric,
and it's going to go up like the Hindenburg.
- Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's going out.
- Thank you, Kym.
Angela Paylin is coming to the wedding.
Angela Paylin is not coming.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God!
I ate so much cookie dough and did
so many whippits with Angela Paylin.
I know.
And she confessed to you
her secret Elvis Stojko fantasy.
- How did you...
- What?
- I spied on you.
- Elvis Stojko, the figure skater?
Oh, my God!
She had this fantasy where
she was wearing her hair up,
- and these very serious...
- Very, very
...professional glasses because...
... very serious.
She was an Olympic judge.
A world-renowned judge. At the men's...
- Skating final in the winter Olympics.
- In the winter Olympics.
- And Elvis Stojko was skating...
- For the gold.
In the finals to Could This Be Magic.
By Barry. By Barry!
And just when Barry gets to...
- Now, now, now, and hold on fast!
- Now, now, and hold on fast!
He skates over to the table
and he stops in front of her.
Their eyes lock and he reaches for her hand.
- And she takes it.
- Takes it.
- Undoes her hair!
- Oh, my God.
And they skate as a pair
to the rest of the song.
- And he gets disqualified.
- But he doesn't care!
- But he doesn't care.
- Right. Oh, my God!
I'm going to go downstairs and find Olive
and get some unconditional love.
You look great.
- Welcome home.
- Thank you. Emma.
Speaking of dogs, when am I going to
meet this fianc of yours, anyhow?
He went to pick up some stuff with Kieran.
He'll be back.
I'm making hot dogs and hungabungas.
Who wants what?
- It's too hot.
- I don't eat gluten, Paul.
- Two...
- May I have one, too?
Yeah. You don't eat what, dear?
Gluten.
- Where's Kym?
- Besides, I'm in my dress.
You're in your dress? Let me see it.
- No!
- No!
- All right. Okay.
- Come on, Olive.
- What can I get for you, Kymmie?
- Actually, I'm late for a meeting.
And I have to pee into a cup
and register as a general biohazard.
Okay, I'll drive you, honey.
No, that's okay.
Just tell me which car I should use.
Well, honey...
- Can I get a hungabunga, Paul?
- One hungabunga.
- Can I get one, too?
- Two hungabungas.
Which car?
- Kymmie, do me a favor now.
- Excuse me.
- I have my license.
- I know, dear.
You just wouldn't believe my insurance
right now, and I'm not that comfortable.
Can we figure something else out?
Hi. Hi, I'm here to pee into a cup.
She's here to pee into a cup.
Someone will be right with you.
Okay. There's a meeting I have to get to.
- The meetings are over in the other
building. - I know that.
Someone will be right with you. Have a seat.
I'm an addict.
Cocksucker!
- Only once.
- Sorry.
Only once, my dealer.
- I was very hard up for cash.
- I'm okay.
- Thank you. Excuse me.
- Anyway, I'm in from Hawaii.
This is my first time at this meeting.
Thank you.
- Welcome.
- Go right ahead.
- I'm Steve. I'm an addict.
- Hi, Steve.
- Hi, Steve.
- Hey. This is my...
My first meeting, actually,
so I'm a little bit...
Hey. Thanks for coming, Steve.
"One. We admitted that we are powerless
over our addiction,
"that our lives had become unmanageable.
"Two. We came to believe that
a power greater than ourselves... "
And whatever happened to me,
it took me away.
It just gave me hope for one more day.
And that's how I live, one day at a time.
You see, yesterday is gone
and tomorrow is not here.
The only thing I can do is what I can do
today to make tomorrow different.
There was a point, man,
where I thought I could do one more,
take another drink.
But it always end up the same.
You know, one was too many
and a thousand was never enough.
I got tired of starting from
square one again, man.
You know everything that I built up with
my family, everything that I built up...
You know, and people helping me
and providing for me...
You know, you relapse,
you got to start all over again.
And, man, I got tired of
starting over again.
You know, it was dramatic.
You know, there's a lot of, you know...
It's ups and downs
and it's crazy, and then...
And just recently,
there's something, you know...
I can feel myself almost, like,
missing the drama sometimes. Like, I'm...
It gets so boring sometimes.
You know I used to say I'm not an addict.
And it took me years to say I was an addict.
Then I spent years, like...
That's all I was.
You know? I was just an addict.
If you could just, kind of, accept it as
a fact, just one fact among many.
- That I can be that and other things.
- That's right.
Things that are going to build you up
in the journey that you're on.
All of us have felt that way at some time.
But I want to encourage you.
You're doing well.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
And it says keep coming back,
'cause it works, if you work it.
Well, thanks a lot. I'll see you next time.
Kymmie! Carol, she's here.
Kymmie! I got a sandwich for you, darling.
It's meat loaf.
- Hi, dear.
- Hey.
- Quite a ride, huh?
- Yep.
- Meat loaf.
- Look at that.
- Yeah.
- Yummy.
- Okay.
- Wow. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- That's big.
I'm so glad you're here, darling.
I'm so glad you're back.
- Did you think I wasn't coming back?
- No.
- I'll take Bill's bike.
- Kymberly!
- Hey!
- Come meet Sidney.
- This is my betrothed, Sidney Williams.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hi.
And this is best man, Kieran.
- Hey.
- Hi, there.
- How are you?
- Good.
- How's your knee?
- Shut up.
You want meat loaf? My dad made meat loaf.
- Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.
I think that we have started
a new tradition.
- That's what I think, yeah.
- Yeah. What's that?
I think it's the best man
and the maid of honor
sneaking off to get it on,
while the rest of the wedding party?
Very happily
and furiously plans for the big event.
But I thought...
I thought that was Emma's role.
What?
The maid of honor.
I mean, I heard that that was the plan.
I'm sure it is.
- I might be wrong.
- No.
Do you love it?
I mean, the lilac's fabulous, Emma.
She looks like a freesia.
Isn't it beautiful?
We should just cover your tattoo.
What?
Nothing, nothing.
I just really like the gray.
Of course you do.
We're all wearing lilac.
It's coordinated. It's a wedding.
Okay, well, this is in the color scheme,
and it looks like a cloud.
- It's fantastic.
- Exactly.
- You know how I am. I don't wear lilac.
- It's good to have a principle.
What? You wore a lilac sweater
with a cat face on the front of it
on the cover of Seventeen magazine...
- That was so cute!
... when I was at fat camp.
Yeah, they paid me,
and I was on horse tranquillizer, so...
You look good. Seriously.
Why is Emma the maid of honor?
Why am I not the maid of honor?
Because.
What does that mean?
Because I wasn't entirely sure when
you were coming or if you'd even make it.
What? I wasn't sure
if you'd have time for a fitting...
Bullshit. It's a sari.
You take a bolt of cloth and you wrap it
around yourself a bunch of times.
Jesus Christ, I've been home for a day.
I can't get a straight answer
out of anybody.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Dad offering me food
every two seconds.
You know, Dad offers
Irish hunger strikers food.
No. You know, it's not even about the food.
He has to know exactly where I am
at all times because he's never
resolved his own trust issues.
- That's odd.
- You know what? Shut the fuck up!
- Blow me!
- Okay.
- Leave Dad alone.
- I'd love to. I want to, okay?
He won't let me. I just...
I can feel him watching me all the time.
And Carol, and you guys, too.
Because we have nothing better
to think about.
You know, everyone in the house is
looking at me like I'm a visiting sociopath.
I mean, seriously, what do you expect
me to do, burn the house down?
That was a mattress fire. That was
not even at home. It was at a sleepover.
Okay, you know what? Fine.
Fuck you both. You win.
I'm going to get "hazmat" tattooed
across my forehead for you people.
- Will that make you happy?
- God, you're like a harpy!
Okay, is being my maid of honor
that important to you?
Because I didn't think you gave a shit.
I'm sorry.
How could you fucking say that to me?
Jesus. Emma.
Emma, would you be horribly offended
and hurt
if I asked you step down as maid of honor?
For her? What?
Rachel, are you serious?
Is this what you want?
- Okay, fine. Fine.
- Not really.
You can have it. The crown is yours.
First runner-up.
Thank you, Emma, thank you.
- You know what?
- Everything is not about you, Kym.
No, it's not about me.
It's about sisterhood.
You're such a paragon of sisterhood.
Hooray for sisterhood!
You know what? Sisterhood conquers all.
You know, I can really see rehab
has done wonders for you, Kym.
Fuck you.
Cousin Joe, on leave, from Iraq.
I almost forgot him!
Come on and say...
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney
- Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney
- Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney
- Rachel
- Sidney
You know I tapped her on the shoulder.
I was like,
"How you doing? My name's Dorian.
I'd, you know, like to talk to you. "
And she was like, "Good to meet you.
Excuse me. Can you move over?
"There's a beautiful guy
standing right behind you. "
And it was Sid.
Dorian!
We've gotjoy like a fountain
We've gotjoy in our soul
Thank you guys for bringing us here.
Such a wonderful occasion to be here
and be back amongst family and friends.
You know, Paul, you've been such
a great friend of mine over the years.
It seems like yesterday when I met you.
And we were at your house playing music
and discussing music.
Watching everyone grow up. Rachel. Kym.
And now Rachel's getting married.
Rachel getting married.
Yeah.
But we also need to
honor my little friend Ethan
who's gone on to another plane now,
you know.
But his spirit is here
and he lives in our heart
and pays no rent every day.
And he's watching over us.
Charlie Parker said,
"The music speaks louder than words. "
So I'm going to play a piece for you
that I've written for this occasion.
It's called Rachel loves Sidney.
That's the A-side.
The B-side is Sidney loves Rachel.
Excuse me for a second.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know anyone at what is
obviously the loser end of the table.
Can I get to the masala?
You've known most of those people
since the eighth grade.
- I don't think so.
- You always pretend you don't know people.
- Watch my dress.
- Is it 'cause you owe them money?
I'm sorry, family members only
in this discussion.
Speaking of which, where is Mom?
Where's our mother?
How can she not be here?
I haven't seen her since I've been home.
She called a couple of times
and she said she's running late,
- but she should be here soon.
- God.
Kieran, do you want
any of this saag paneer?
No, thanks. Is there any krill?
- I'm kidding. Sorry, it's a joke.
- It just went over my head.
I can't believe Mom would be late
for my release back into the wild.
And here I was thinking tonight
was about Rachel.
Rach, I forgot to tell you.
Carol got the helium tanks.
The words Carol and helium somehowjust...
Hey, aren't there some rules
about helium tanks?
She would not have any idea
what to do with a helium tank.
I think that's only on public property?
Though, helium tanks.
- Yeah, it's a huge liability.
- Helium tanks?
- You're a lawyer?
- Was, for five minutes.
Say something legal.
Tort.
What do you do now?
Now I just help Sidney out
with the business side of his stuff.
Sweet.
- Do you want me to call her?
- No, no.
- There she is.
- Oh, my God! Mom!
- Mom!
- Darling, hi.
- Kym! Come here, honey.
- Thank you.
Did you get my note?
Yeah.
Let me look at you. You're beautiful.
- No, I'm fat. Rehab makes you fat.
- No, nonsense. You girls.
- Is everything okay?
- Yes.
Mom, where have you been?
- Everything's fine.
- Did you get the dates confused?
No, no, everything's fine, honey.
- Introduce me around.
- This is Sidney's family.
This is Carol-Jean. This is my mom, Abby.
- Congratulations.
- And this is her husband, Andrew.
- Andrew.
- John, Abby, my mom.
- Pleasure.
- Don't you steal her.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you. Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- And this is Grandma.
- Hello.
- Emma!
Mom, you look so great.
Really, you look amazing.
Honey, don't smoke. I don't think it's...
Can you smoke here?
- Yeah, yeah, totally. It's a private party?
- This is the best man, Kieran.
- Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you. I'm Kieran.
How's Grandma?
Is she still surly and irascible?
She's great. You know Grandma.
She sends her love.
- Great, same.
- You want to sit?
Go put the cigarette out,
'cause I don't think it's fine.
- Sit.
- Just put it out.
- Just put it out.
- Okay. It's going out.
The father of the bride and the father of
the groom are not supposed to do anything
but grin like jack -o' -lanterns
and write checks,
and I think that's what we've been doing,
John, you and I, yeah? Right?
Williams' family. Carol-Jean and John.
Beautiful sister Kyrah.
And of course, Grand Mama Herreast.
And Specialist Joseph Gonzales.
As the good doctor said to start us off
with the meal,
we're glad that you're out of harm's way,
and we want you home for good.
Happy to be home. Thank you.
Williams' family, welcome to Connecticut
and its complicated tax structure.
We just met.
I just want you to know
how blessed we are to be
joining forces with you, and we've just met,
but I'm going to tell you, we love you.
Well, I have known Sidney for...
What is it? Fifteen, 20, 20...
Most of my life, most of my life.
He's been a great friend.
He's been with me through thick and thin.
And
I'll tell you,
sometimes it's gotten very, very thin.
But he stood by me through all of it and...
My friend, it is a pleasure and an honor
to be able to stand by you
on this profound occasion.
I love you, and you couldn't have done
any better here.
Cheers.
We are gathered here to celebrate love
pure and simple.
Rachel is pure. Sidney is simple.
May the two of you live and love
for as long as you want,
but never want for as long as you live.
And most importantly,
may all of your ups and downs
come only in the bedroom.
- You're paying for that, Emma.
- I can't believe I just did that.
- Be careful, be careful.
- Don't cut yourself.
I want to make a toast to the happy couple
'cause I want to come visit you in Hawaii.
And, Sidney, what's the name
of that place again?
It's Hunuku-ook, Hunookook...
Yeah, what they said.
So I've known the bride her entire life.
Not biblically speaking.
Except for that time we French-kissed
at Evan Yasky's party? In ninth grade.
Stop!
- Film. I want film.
- It was a dare, you know.
So commence embarrassing story.
Wait, that wasn't it?
So do you remember when I was teaching
you how to drive in the Wagoneer,
and you sideswiped that taxi
and knocked off his side mirror?
No, I have no recollection
of that whatsoever.
Well, well, well, I would like to share
with everyone that Miss Rachel,
before she had her license
or knew anything about how to drive,
managed to out-maneuver an irate,
screaming cab driver
all the way across 96th Street
to the East River,
handily avoiding two EMT guys
loading an old lady
onto a gurney or something.
And then she got the number of one of
the EMT guys and went out with him twice.
Yeah, that I did do. Three. Three times.
Hey, Rach,
was that the guy with the peroxide hair?
So, anyway, when the cab driver
finally caught up with us,
she talked him down from
his Middle-Eastern fury in like...
Mahamoud! Such a nice man!
In like, you know, pretend Arabic,
Farsi, Urdu, I don't know.
And then she uses his radio thing
to call his dispatcher
and recommend him for a commendation
because she's so sweet.
So here's to a woman who can
drive fast, pick up a paramedic,
make up foreign languages
and still get you home in one piece.
And, Sidney, you're a lucky bastard.
Hear, hear.
I prayed for you, Rachel. I prayed for you.
I knew you'd come, and here you are,
and we are one, all of us.
And this is how it is in Heaven.
Just like this.
Amen.
And I'm so glad we're having
a rehearsal on it now.
Yes, it's the little princess.
Here's to you, Sid. I love you to pieces.
You're the best brother anybody can ask for.
I want to give thanks.
I've known Rachel since kindergarten,
not quite her entire life, Emma, but...
So you win. But...
I just... I'm so grateful
to be your bridesmaid
and be a part of this moment and...
Don't look at me like that.
Hello. Hello.
Hello.
Relax, it's seltzer.
Hello.
I'm Shiva the destroyer and your harbinger
of doom for this evening.
I would like to thank you all
for coming and welcome you.
Even though I haven't seen most of you
since my latest stretch in the big house.
But you all look fabulous.
So during the 20 minutes or so
that I was not in the hole for
making a shiv out of my toothbrush,
I actually did participate
in the infamous 12-step program.
Twelve steps.
Step-ball-change. Step-ball-change.
Still waiting for the change part.
So... But, you know, as they say,
the relapse is an almost inevitable part
of recovery.
So I get high marks in that mode.
Anywho.
I... Well, as more of you know
than are likely to admit,
one of the steps, actual steps,
is about making amends.
So, I did a lot of apologizing to people.
Some of whom barely remembered me,
most of whom barely remembered anything.
And I apologized for,
you know, like, bouncing a check,
or passing out in their bathtub
or flooding their
house and, you know,
just basically for involving them in
sordid activities that they were
desperately trying to forget. I
had to call this one girl who was,
I think, 14,
but she couldn't come to the phone
actually because
her mom had taken out
a restraining order, but...
But anyway... So I spent a lot of time...
The point is, I spent a lot of time
apologizing to people who were
pretty much perfect strangers.
So, I would very much
like to take this opportunity
to not only congratulate
my extraordinary sister,
the future explorer in matters of the mind,
thank you very much,
and her adorable, impending husband
on the occasion
of their unprecedented nuptials,
but also, to apologize
to said extraordinary sister,
future explorer in matters of the mind, for
what? I don't know. Everything.
And I really mean that, Rach. You've...
I've been a nightmare, you've been a saint,
and I'm reallyjust so damn glad
to be here with you
and Sidney's family
and our family and just...
Everyone's together and I'm just...
It's really great. So I am hereby
raising my seltzer to my laudatory sister
and herewith making amends.
Sidney, you are robbing
our dysfunctional family
of one of its most vital ingredients,
and its only member still willing to
lend me money.
- So, boo on you.
- That's not true.
Anyway, enjoy Hawaii.
- L'chaim.
- L'chaim.
One, two, one, two.
Yo, Sidney, who I met
hanging out in Kingston, Jamaica,
while we were at House of Leo,
and Stone Love was playing that night.
Those big speakers pounding,
all that Jamaican dub was pumping,
clouds of those medicinal herbs
were floating.
Man. Was a lot of fun, my man.
It was great meeting you, hanging out
with you, becoming friends with you,
seeing all the amazing things
that you're doing musically.
All I want to say to you guys is,
may you both live to be 100.
And me, 100, but minus a day,
so I'll never know beautiful people
like you have passed away.
Do your thing, baby.
I felt that. I felt that.
You drank it and I felt it.
I know.
Sidney has always nurtured me
and supported me
no matter what he's been through.
How much do you owe him?
How much money do you owe him?
In lira, it's billions.
Everyone's saying so much love
and beautiful words
and amazing stuff, and...
- This is not an award.
- I know, I'm not even using it.
You're like accepting an award here.
That's what it's about, you know,
there's nothing more.
Everything else, just destroy it.
Just destroy it.
Because without love... You know?
Hello, Olive.
I know it. It's in my head.
Oh, God, I am exhausted.
- Is there any watermelon?
- Let me see.
- Nice apology.
- What?
Nice apology.
I was toasting you
and I was making amends.
It's one of the steps. It's important.
I know what the steps are.
I learned them in school,
and I visited you in various
facilities, Kym.
Oh, God.
Dad? What?
"Amends. Noun, usually followed by 'for,'
off-set a disability
"or frustration by development
in another direction. "
- Yes.
- But you've never said anything to me
that's remotely apologetic,
yet all of sudden at my wedding dinner
in front of everybody,
you decide to grace us all
with your development.
I just got home.
"Gee. Hey, everybody and guests,
"just in case you might be thinking
about something else for five minutes,
"like, I don't know, my sister's wedding,
they just cut me loose.
"I'm a loose cannon!
Anybody up for some rehab humor?
"Because I'm really, really fine
with acknowledging my disease.
"Hey, and now watch me be really selfless
and weave a lovely blanket apology
"to my sister for being
just a tad out of her loop. "
- You are so cynical.
- Rachel, enough.
Rachel, she is making an effort here.
An effort, is that what that was?
Because I think she presumes
that since everything has always
revolved around her disease,
that everything else is going to revolve
around her recovery. That's what I think.
- Rachel, she just got home.
- Again.
- I had no idea you were so angry, Doctor.
- I'm not.
Oh, my God.
Kymmie, your sister has got
a lot on her plate right now.
- She is uptight about...
- I'm not uptight, Dad!
She's meeting Sidney's folks
for the first time, menus,
there's all this live music, you're home.
There's...
It's just that there are
a thousand things to worry about.
Absolutely. A wedding will take everything
out of you. I'll tell you that.
Yeah, and that's why it would be so lovely
if we could all...
You know, you people really need to purge.
You really should go to a Nar-Anon
or something. It's...
Now, Kym, come on, baby. Oh, my Lord.
We've been to Nar-Anon. You know that.
Wait, wait a second. You people? You mean,
your family? The people in this room?
Yes. All of you people living in
this little world ofjudgment
and paranoia and mistrust.
I can feel it all the time. It's like...
At the slightest sign of ingratitude or
absence of atonement, it's like
the fucking Salem witch trials around here.
- I should just use again. I should.
- Don't even start that.
- Don't even start.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Kym. Kym, look at me.
Nobody can make you feel any kind of
way unless you let them. Period. The end.
Thank you, Carol,
but you people are my family.
I mean, you make me feel like shit
a hundred times a day.
You know what, Rach? You try living under
Dad's constant monitoring for five minutes,
- tell me how you like it.
- What constant monitoring?
- Kym?
- Oh, my God! Are you serious?
"Carol, Carol, where is she?"
"Don't sleep here, sleep here.
Eat this. You know, I'll drive you. "
Dad, really, honestly,
you're kind of obsessed.
Oh, my God. That's hardly news.
I mean, you may not know this, Kym.
No, sure you do.
I mean, the only way to engage Dad
in any meaningful communication
is to start the conversation with your name.
"Have you heard from Kym? How's Kym?"
It resuscitates him.
It jars him into the moment, like an alarm.
- Rachel, that is not true. It is totally
unfair. - What? She's even worse, Dad!
"Dad, you're never going to believe this,
but that check you sent me
"never showed up,
and my landlord hates me. "
"Dad, can somebody meet me downstairs
with cab fare?
"And you're never going to believe this
"but I lost my wallet
and my checkbook got stolen.
"I got to go to the emergency room,
and everybody hates me. "
You know what, Rachel?
It really sounds like you have
some serious paternal/sibling
issues to work through.
Please! Are you kidding?
The two of you are like
a double helix of crises.
- Oh, shut up, shut up.
- I mean, in the language of psychology,
one could say
you both suffer from acute boundary issues.
Rachel! It is very nice that you're
getting your PhD.
- Oh, God!
- Don't be patronizing!
I'm sorry, but it's not...
It's ugly, honey. It's not becoming to you.
Well, how come she gets to spout off about
paternal/sibling issues,
but God forbid I should even reference
the boundary thing,
even though I actually know
what I'm talking about.
By the way, I'm not in crisis.
I haven't been in crisis in a year.
- You just got out of rehab!
- Oh, my God!
Why is this so difficult
for you to understand?
Rehabilitation, crisis.
You should really learn the difference.
No, it's like you're not happy unless
I'm in some kind of a desperate situation.
You have no idea what to do with me
unless I'm in crisis.
Why am I the only one
willing to say this shit?
You are so much more
evolved in your suffering.
I'm not... Who is talking about that?
Your suffering is not the most
important thing to everybody.
- Who is saying it is?
- I have a life. I'm in school.
- I'm getting married. I'm...
- What?
- I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant? You're pregnant now?
- Are you serious?
- Oh, my God!
- What?
- Oh, my God!
That is so unfair!
So unfair!
When did you find out about this?
Roughly about the day before
we decided to get married.
I can barely believe this myself!
How far? How along? You know?
I mean, how pregnant are you?
Did you tell your mother?
- Yeah. We told her at dinner.
- Good. Okay, good.
- She was so happy.
- Dad, stop. Can you just stop?
Please. Seriously. Fuck me!
Rachel, I'm sorry, Dad, but you can't drop
a tectonic bit of information
into a completely separate conversation,
Rachel. You can't do that.
- Kym, you're going to have a niece.
- Or nephew.
I know. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm excited for you.
But you can't
tell me when we're talking like this, Rach.
It's a total set-up. It's not fair.
Yeah.
God. I am so fucking exhausted.
Oh, God.
Dad, will you tell her I'm happy for her?
She won't talk to me.
I'm really tired.
I think I'm going to head up to bed. Sidney?
- Yeah. That's a great idea.
- You're leaving now,
- in the middle of this conversation?
- Yes.
Kymmie, she's pregnant
and she's exhausted, baby.
Okay. Okay, fine. Fair enough.
Thank you so much
for telling me about Hawaii.
- Congratulations, Sid.
- Thanks.
Rachel, I cannot tell you how happy I am.
Do you guys want anything?
Do you want a sandwich or anything?
You guys must be hungry.
You got aloo gobi, there's cold saagwala.
- I really am pretty sleepy, Dad.
- You really are pretty everything!
And you, too!
Holy cow. This has been one hell of a day.
I think...
If you don't mind, sweetie,
I'm just going...
- No!
- I mean, my God.
- I'm just going to go to bed.
- I'll be right up, dear.
- I just want to load the dishwasher.
- Grandpa.
That's me.
Thanks for taking that.
- I'll see you in the morning.
- Night, night. Sweet dreams.
You know, I hope it was okay
that we told Mom at dinner about the baby.
Of course it was, lamb chop.
You should tell her.
I'm just so happy 'cause
I'm going to be a granddaddy.
- I wish Ethan were here.
- You what?
- I wish Ethan were here.
- I know, sweetheart. Me, too. Me, too.
- Take that woman.
- You got it.
Just let me know if you need
a hand with any of that.
Get out of here, Sid.
Oh, gosh. Look at that. How exquisite.
- Isn't that pretty?
- I can't borrow this.
What do you carry in here?
- A vital organ? A tiny spleen?
- It's divine, really.
You know, Rachel, you really have to
take care of yourself now, you know?
You have to eat properly.
You have to get enough rest.
I will, Mom.
How's everything at the house?
Is it all right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? How's Sidney?
Good, good.
What about his friend? What's his name?
- Kieran.
- Right.
He was a big hit, wasn't he?
- Is your sister behaving herself?
- I'm not exactly sure what that means.
Well, she needs a lot of acknowledgment.
- You think?
- Come on.
It can't be easy.
Everybody knowing your troubles like that.
Stop fretting.
Mom, does it bother you at all,
Carol doing so much stuff for the wedding?
No. I'm thrilled to be doing the flowers.
Come on. You know how much that means
to me. And they're going to be exquisite.
- I bet.
- That's just enough.
But I mean,
you could do whatever you want.
I mean, the flowers are going to be great,
and so are you, and...
If you wanted to do anything else I would...
Thank you, sweetheart. No, I don't.
Can you see me? I'd be one of those
women, you know, like,
the insane wedding mother,
you know, the hors d'oeuvres, and...
Come on, those little hot dogs? It's not me.
It's going to be perfect.
Everything is going to be so beautiful.
And even your sister is going to have
a good time. It's all great.
And I'm going to be a grandmother!
So hooray!
Hooray!
Here's Grandma's ring. Let's try this.
Try it on.
I hope it's a boy.
Just as long as it's healthy,
that's what you say.
- Hi, I'm Kym. I'm an addict.
- Hi, Kym.
I am nine months clean.
When I was 16,
I was babysitting my little brother.
And I was...
I had taken all these Percocet
and I was unbelievably high.
And I...
We'd driven over to the park on Lakeshore.
And he was in his red socks,
just running around in these
piles of leaves.
And he would bury me,
and I would bury him in the leaves.
And he was pretending that he was a train.
And so, he was charging through the leaves,
making tracks.
And I was the caboose and I was...
So he kept saying,
"Coal, caboose! Coal, caboose!"
And...
We were...
It was time to go and I was driving home.
And
I lost control of the car
and drove off the bridge.
And the car went into the lake.
And I couldn't get him out of his car seat.
And he drowned.
And I struggle with God so much
because I can't forgive myself.
And I don't really want to right now. I can
live with it, but I can't forgive myself.
And sometimes, I don't want to believe
in a god that could forgive me.
But I do want to be sober.
I'm alive and I'm present,
and there's nothing controlling me.
If I hurt someone, I hurt someone.
I can apologize
and they can forgive me or not.
But I can change.
And I just wanted to share that and say,
congratulations that God makes you
look up. I'm so happy for you.
But if he doesn't, come here.
That's all. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing.
Where's... Where's you, Emma?
- Emma, where's you?
- I'm right here.
- It's really raining.
- That's today.
- Done.
- It's going to be fine.
Okay.
It's going to be totally, totally,
totally fine.
All right.
This is what you've got, Emma? So far?
I'm fine. That is kind of perfect.
There's six of each, right?
- Except for me.
- I'm the telephone.
Hey, Rachel! Check it out!
- Oh, my God!
- It's up.
It's going to have walls around it as well.
Yay!
You guys, there's too many at this table.
- Sorry.
- There's too many.
Carol, they're back!
Are you guys hungry?
I made a salad nioise. It's got tuna.
I was just thinking salad nioise.
- Dad, can we focus on what we were doing?
- Of course. I'm sorry.
Hey.
The Rosenzwiegs.
Could we put the Rosenzwiegs far from me?
- Dad, they're your friends.
- They are not my friends, darling.
They've just lived next door
to us for 10,000 years.
I am this lovely face right over here.
That is a perfect place to put me in.
Where are you putting me? In the stockade?
Kym, stop it, you're at the family table.
Listen, just don't sit me next to
Michael or Sandy, okay?
They're not invited.
Sandy never responded to
my amends e-mail from Milestones.
I hate it when people
don't meet you halfway.
You know, why don't you give
the amends thing a rest?
You're at the family table with us.
That would make it 13, though.
I think Rachel wanted to keep it to 12.
Right.
Where are you putting me?
I was going to put you with Cookie Puss
and the Chicago cousins
because they always get really drunk
and need wrangling.
Well, can someone else do it?
I was sort of planning on enjoying myself.
- You're the only one they're afraid of.
- No, this is easy.
We can put Grandma Rose
down here with her companion
at this other table,
which is actually a really good idea.
Great. That's all I need. Another reason
for Grandma Rose to hate me.
- She does not hate you.
- Are you kidding?
She's still mad about
the whole Rite Aid thing.
Nonsense!
Dad, can I show you something
in the kitchen?
- Eliza, would you excuse us for a moment?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
- Rachel, what is this behavior?
- Can I just have a day? Please?
Have all the days you want, darling.
Nobody is trying to take your day.
Then why are you defending her?
Defending her from what?
Rachel, nobody's defending anybody.
Why are you protecting her?
Because I don't want her to think
we don't want her.
Sometimes I don't want her.
It's my fucking wedding!
- I want my table to be perfect.
- She's your sister. Stop.
Let's put the dishes here because
I have to reload this dishwasher, I can see.
Paul, you know...
Paul, I was thinking about it,
and I actually did some preliminary
sketches. I'd love to show them to you.
He's actually...
He's not kidding about this.
- I think that if you move...
- He's been working on this.
If you move things like the salad bowls
on the upper tier,
you could probably get about
10% more stuff in the dishwasher, so...
Sidney.
Does he know?
You're showing me how to load
the dishwasher?
I'm showing you how to do it right.
Sidney,
my future son-in-law,
you're a wonderful young man.
You'll make a lot of money in this business,
and the world is your oyster,
but you don't know shit
about loading a dishwasher.
Well, with all due respect, sir,
the mantle has passed.
Painful. Painful, sweetie.
All right.
Oh, no!
What, are we timing it?
Yeah, let's work with time,
if you're going to do it right.
- Dad, what's the time limit?
- Go!
- How long do you want to time it?
- Two minutes.
Is that all right?
Are you all right with that, sir?
Would you like me to spot you 30 seconds?
- Go!
- Paul, I think your problem is mainly
in lid placement.
Inverting the lids and putting them
in the upper tier is just pass.
- It's kind of old-school.
- There's food on that one!
- Thank you, Kymmie.
- Lettuce leaf, lettuce leaf!
Follow the schematic.
It might be worth pointing out
that the dishes need to be rinsed.
- Are you shaking in your boots?
- You got 20 seconds.
Fifteen seconds left.
Rachel, darling, you are out of the will.
You know that?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one...
You know, all you young people
who are applauding,
you should go fuck yourselves.
- Sweetie, keep it clean!
- No, I'm just saying.
- It's a wonderful attempt, Son.
- Okay. I tried to fix it.
Kieran, if you could clean out
that machine, I will then be able
to break out the whoop-ass
on this young man here.
He's breaking out the whoop-ass!
- Let's break out the whoop-ass.
- Break out the whoop-ass.
When that machine is empty,
I will show you how it's done.
What is this whoop-ass you speak of?
You should rest. You should rest. Really.
- Silverware is a part of the art.
- Okay, all right.
I will say that Sidney had
a little time to survey things.
He did a little planning
and made some sketches.
But that's all right.
I'm ready any time you say "go. "
Go!
$5! $5 on the geezer!
Rinsing!
Go, Dad!
Here, Son. Have some.
Cup handles!
Side load!
I didn't know about side load.
He's good.
Buchman, in front of your family.
Buchman, your women will weep.
Last one!
- Could I have my time, please?
- You have 15 seconds left.
Fifteen seconds left and I need more dishes!
Somebody give me more dishes!
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad!
- Don't get cocky, keep it going.
- Where we at? Kieran?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one...
- All right.
- That's it, man. That's...
What?
Where are you going?
Let's grab some lemonade on the porch.
Is everything okay?
- Hey!
- See you later.
I have to. I mean...
I mean, if I could do it the way
I wanted to do it. Literally...
Hey, Rach? Are you getting a manicure?
Hi.
You don't remember me, do you?
Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
God is punishing me.
No, no, he's blessing me.
Well. Wow.
- So, how are you?
- I'm great. I'm great.
You remember?
We were in the hospital together, right?
We were... Were you at Milestones?
No. I didn't go to Milestones.
I didn't have the coverage.
We were on the same floor at Loeb House.
Okay.
- You look great.
- Twenty-eight months, clean and sober.
Praise God.
Amen.
I can't believe that I'm seeing you again.
I know. It's so weird.
Listen.
Do you remember that exercise
where we had to write down experiences
and pass them anonymously
to another person?
Yeah. Yeah, the human mirror.
Seeing things from a fresh perspective.
I got yours.
You drew poodles in the margins.
I know it's supposed to be anonymous
and everything...
- Yeah.
... but you...
You
were so brave.
The way your uncle abused
you and your sister
and how it led to your sister's anorexia.
And how you stayed up nights with her
when she was down to 50 pounds.
I will never forget reading that,
- I swear to God.
- Yeah.
I never, ever, thought I would have
the chance to thank you.
It was your strength
that gave me the courage
to confront my own abuse
and help turn my life around.
- Listen, I'm in a great group.
- Rachel. I...
I'm so glad to hear it. Excuse me.
Sir, just stop.
Sorry, I just need a second. Rachel?
Rachel?
Rachel, what are you doing?
Where... Where are you going?
Rachel!
You know, I never had anorexia.
And you certainly didn't watch over me
while I was sleeping.
And we don't have a
goddamned pedophile uncle
who made our childhood a living hell
and explains away all your shit
in one fell swoop.
Did you tell them that Dad forced us
into a life of prostitution as well?
I wasn't hurting... No one got hurt, Rach.
- I'm hurt.
- Where are you going?
Rachel, open the door. Rachel!
So what, you're just going?
- I'm sorry, but I hate her.
- No, you don't hate her.
Dad, don't tell me what I don't hate.
I hate, hate, hate the lies.
I mean, she lied in rehab.
What do you mean, she lied?
I mean, she lied to the people
who were working with her,
who were trying to help her.
Dad, she lies to everybody.
Where is she now?
- Where am I now, Dad?
- Thank God.
- Rachel!
- We're in here, Kym.
Thanks for abandoning me.
I had to take a taxi.
Hey, Rach.
I mean, are you kidding me?
Why would anything I said or didn't say
at the hospital...
Jesus Christ!
Are they going to play all weekend?
- Knock it off!
- Norman! Boys! Stop, please!
Guys, would you give it a rest?
Just give it a rest.
Why would it hurt you? It wasn't about you!
- Why not?
- Rachel.
What? Stop, Dad. Why not?
Why wasn't it about me?
I mean, I was hopeful.
I was on your side. Still am.
Do you have any idea what that means?
Do you have any idea
how lonely it was here with everybody gone
into your
terrible little world?
I mean, there was nothing left.
Everybody was just empty.
You think that they
knew I was alive
or needed anything during your
life?
And after all that, the fights,
the screaming,
the blaming, the loneliness,
and Mom and Dad and the divorce and
death
and all that fucking hopefulness, I mean...
And Dad not even being able to listen
to music any more.
You were lying about us instead of
telling the truth about yourself.
God, Rach.
What is this about, girls?
Well, apparently, she has a whole history
of sexual molestation
that we didn't know about.
- What?
- God.
Kym, what is your sister saying?
Did you say you were sexually molested?
It was a long time ago.
Were you?
No!
Why in God's name
would you say something like that?
It was an anonymous exercise.
And it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dad, look at me. Okay? I am right here.
Okay?
And I am telling you that after Ethan died,
I wanted her to get better orjust die.
- Rachel, she's better.
- And... No, no.
Recovery doesn't work if you lie.
She knows that.
I am worthless to her.
- She doesn't give a shit about the rest of
us! - You are not worthless. How dare you!
You're my sister.
I love you guys.
I need you guys, but you don't
get to sit around
for the rest of my life deciding
what I'm supposed to be like.
I mean, you weren't there.
You weren't inside of my head
when I was fucked-up.
- You are certainly not there now.
- Kym.
You haven't got any idea how I feel.
Kym, you took Ethan for granted.
Okay. You were high for his life.
You were not present.
- Okay. You were high.
- Yes.
And you drove him off a bridge.
And now he's dead.
- Rachel, it was an accident.
- Yes, I was.
Yes, I was stoned out of my mind.
Who do I have to be now?
I could be Mother Theresa.
It wouldn't make a difference what I did.
Did I sacrifice every bit of
love in this life because
I killed our little brother?
- It was an accident. It was an accident.
- And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Kymmie, Kymmie, it was an accident.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too, Dad.
Can I...
I'm sorry, guys. I just want to...
If I can say something.
Look, I know you're... You're, you know...
Everyone's concerned about her,
where she might be.
Listen, you know,
when you're getting out of rehab,
it's very, very difficult
and it's especially difficult to go
to see your family. I mean, it just...
I mean, when I...
When I got out, I didn't see them for years.
And it just really takes time,
and I... And...
If you're not ready to take
responsibility for something,
people make something up,
which is probably what happened, but...
I mean, you know,
honestly, Rachel, that happened like...
It was a couple of years ago...
Paul, do you want me to go out
and look for her?
No.
You can't. I mean, you have
a wedding tomorrow. A hundred people...
I'll go. I mean, you know...
It's fine. I'll go.
- Where are you going to go?
- I can take a look for her.
Do you guys know where she might be, or...
Hello?
I'm sorry?
It's the caterer.
- Let me deal with it.
- I'll tell you what.
Hello?
You should really call Daddy, honey.
Yeah, okay. In a minute.
- You know how he worries.
- I will in a minute, yeah.
You know, he's worried, honey.
I need a glass of water.
Here. I made tea.
Come sit down, honey. You look so upset.
Is Andrew going to be home soon?
Yes. He just went to a dinner. Not late.
Did something happen
with you and Rachel?
Is everything all right with the wedding?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Why did you leave me in charge of him?
You knew. All of you knew.
- Kym.
- People told you.
I was a junkie. I was a crazy drug addict.
- I stole from you.
- Yes.
I lied to your face.
I weighed six pounds.
My hair was falling out.
- I spent every dinner in the bathroom.
- Honey, you were sick.
- That was an illness.
- You know what I was.
I stayed in my room for days.
I passed out all the time.
No, no.
- What were you thinking?
- No.
Why did you leave me?
I was there. I didn't leave you.
Why would you leave me in charge of him?
Because you were good with him.
- Mom, Mom, why would you leave...
- No, you were...
...a drug addict to watch your son?
No! You were good with him!
- You were the best you were with him!
- Listen to me! Listen!
I didn't expect you to kill him, sweetheart!
- You were not supposed to kill him!
- Mom!
Mom! What are you doing? Get off!
- Oh, God! God!
- Mom!
Fuck.
Are you okay, miss?
Right over here. It's a mess.
It's Kym. I'm fine.
I...
- Thanks a lot.
- No problem.
Hi.
I'm the maid of honor.
Cool. I know you.
I used to work at that dog-grooming place.
You holding?
- Kymmie?
- Oh, God, Dad.
- Kymmie, are... Oh, God. Are you all right?
- Yeah. I just need to go.
No, we've got to get to the hospital.
No, Dad. I need to get dressed.
- Kymmie, we've got to get you
to a hospital. - I'm fine, please.
Kym, you can't just vanish.
You can't just leave.
You have to call, now.
You always have to call.
I know.
Fuck.
Come here.
- Fuck. I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
Goes in, like, 12 directions.
I'm so happy you're home.
And see if you can fold it
into three pieces at the top.
Okay, hold on. Let me try.
You were right about the gray.
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney
- Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney
We've come together
to show our support for
Sidney and Rachel in theirjoining hands
and in joining themselves together
in holy wedlock.
The weather's been pretty miserable
all weekend, but now it's a beautiful day.
And it's a beautiful day because
when two people come together
who really love one another
and want to share that with other people,
it makes it a beautiful day.
So Sidney Williams and Rachel Buchman
have come do to that.
And, Rachel, you go first.
Paul Buchman likes to say
that the measure of a great life is
not how well loved you are,
but how well you love others.
Sidney, you teach me that every day.
You are just so full of grace,
and I promise before God
and these beautiful people
that I will love you fiercely
and sweetly.
And I look forward to sharing
that great life with you.
Thank you for marrying me.
All that I ever wanted was
to just hear music,
and when I met you, I heard you.
And, Rachel, you're the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.
Thank you for marrying me.
You're welcome.
She used to work in a diner
Never saw a woman look finer
I used to orderjust to watch her
float across the floor
She grew up in a small town
Never put her roots down
Daddy always kept moving, so she did, too
You know it ain't easy
You got to hold on
She was an unknown legend in her time
Now she's dressing two kids
Looking for a magic kiss
She gets the faraway look in her eyes
Somewhere on a desert highway
She rides a Harley-Davidson
Her long brown hair flying in the wind
She's been running half her life
The chrome and steel she rides
colliding with
The very air she breathes
The air she breathes
Do we have some rings?
Sidney, you go first
and place the ring on Rachel's hand.
Do you?
Yeah, I do.
Sidney does. Do you, Rachel?
I do.
All right.
By the power vested in me by
the state of Connecticut and by Neil Young,
I pronounce that they are husband and wife,
and now you can kiss him.
Okay. We're going to cut the cake.
Everybody who wants to see it, come now.
Tastes like lime and turmeric.
It's got, like, turmeric in it.
Baby Boy, let them take the picture.
Yeah, Baby Boy.
Can we all do this together?
Everybody.
Kym?
Wait. Where's... Where's Kym?
I'm here.
Mom?
- Dear God...
- Wait, wait, wait. Mom.
Okay, look at the camera. One, two, three.
That's great. Thank you.
Dear God, please bless this family and
let them always invite us over for dinner,
because God knows
my new wife cannot boil water or fry an egg.
And now a word from our sponsor.
Mr. Buchman, if you please!
I'm getting now to the Williams family.
It's a done deal. We're relatives.
We were fortunate that they could be
joined by Specialist Joseph Gonzales.
Son, we want you home and we want you
to put that damn camera down.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Sorry.
No. Come in.
Come on.
Have you seen Mom?
No, she's probably taking a break.
How do you take a break from your own
daughter's wedding?
You know Mom. She doesn't really...
Oh, yeah. Here's the party?
Okay, this is too cute for me.
- Hello?
- Hello?
Rachel. Well, here you all are.
I've been looking all over for you.
Hey.
So lovely. I'm truly...
- Abby?
- Yeah?
- They're bringing the car around.
- Okay. Great.
Wait. You're leaving?
Honey, I'm so exhausted,
but I had such a marvelous time.
Everything was great. Carol and Daddy
really did a great job, don't you think?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, I just didn't want to make a
big scene. We're just going to slip away.
- You could make a little scene.
- Well, I'm making it. Right?
Andrew and I have to go to Washington
tomorrow. So we're going to take off.
Why are you going to Washington?
I thought I told you. No?
We'll just be a week.
We have a bunch of meetings. But you guys
are going away real soon, right?
What about our post-nuptial
wedding gossip reconnaissance, Mom?
Well, you could come by in the morning.
Yeah...
No, no, that's a stupid idea. Don't call
me early. It's your wedding night.
You're not going to get up early.
That was silly. Anyway...
I have to get Andrew ready
'cause he's absolutely hopeless in this way.
So...
We'll just be a bit and then we'll be back.
Everything was so lovely,
even the weather cooperated.
It was beautiful, honey. Okay.
Wait.
I want my mother and my sister.
- Congratulations, Daddy.
- Thanks.
All right, Rachel.
- All right, Rach. Okay.
- Okay.
- You'll call me every day about you know...
- Yes. Of course.
- You take care. All right?
- Bye.
- Son-in-law.
- Mother-in-law.
Take care of yourself.
- Paul, Carol, it was so lovely.
- Thank you.
- Get some rest.
- Okay.
I can't find my cigarettes.
Just give me a second.
Kymmie. Kym.
You remember Susanna Galeano?
- Hi.
- Hi, Kym. How are you?
Suzy runs a first rate PR firm and, darling,
she has just lost an office assistant.
We really are down a person.
And I was wondering,
have you ever
thought about public relations?
The public's kind of afraid of me.
Listen, Suzy
is opening a new office right here.
- Darling, you could be at home.
- I tell you what.
- Why don't you call me on Monday?
- Give her a card.
- And we can talk about it?
- That would be great.
- This is just too perfect.
- It's stuck, here we go.
- Thank you.
- Paul, it was beautiful.
- I'm gonna have to go.
- Suzy, Suzy, thank you. I know.
You look wonderful.
Do you want me
to hold that card now for you?
No, no. I got it. Just... Give me a second.
I'll be back in a minute.
Okay.
Hello?
You making a break for it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I got to go.
Yeah. Okay.
If you ever need anything...
If I need to post bond?
No. If you ever need anything.
Thank you.
Maybe you'll come visit me in Hawaii.
- That would be nice.
- Yes, it would.
- I got to go.
- Okay.
- I got it.
- Okay.
Kym.
Daddy?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- How you feeling?
- I'm okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
You should probably just ignore the eye.
It's a long story.
- Okay.
- Kymmie.
Hey.
- Hey, I'm Kym's sister.
- Hi.
- This is Rosa.
- Rachel.
Rachel, I heard a lot about you.
You got married.
- I did, yeah.
- Congratulations.
Thank you.
I love your baby.
Me, too.
- Great.
- Nice to meet you.
Walter, that is a behavior
that will get you...
Fuck you!
Are you making a choice?
Hold on.
- Hello?
- Don't you get it yet, Waldo?
She's making a choice
not to give you your lighter
because you'll torch
the self-help library again.
My name's Walter.
Did you kill anybody recently?
Did you run anybody over
with your fucking car?
Is that them?
Yeah. Yes, finally.
You're not going to let her drive, are you?
Walter, you are only responsible
for yourself.
- This all your stuff?
- Yeah.
So you never gave me
your cell phone number.
It was a mistake. I'm lucky I didn't
get fired. We've discussed this.
Hey. Here you are.
I thought you were going to
abandon me in rehab.
- No.
- It's 10:30. You're half an hour late.
I was just standing out here
with these lunatics.
- Oh, my God, you look so great.
- So do you, darling.
- Can I take care of that? Hi, Paul Buchman.
- Rosa. We met last time you came up.
- Yes, hi. Good to see you again.
- Hi.
Okay, let's go. Let's go.
- All right. Sure.
- Great.
- Good luck to you.
- Thank you.
Kym. Good luck to you.
Thank you.
All right. Hey, where is everybody?
- Hey, Carol.
- Hello, Kym.
Where is everybody? Where's Rachel?
She's back at the house getting ready.
There is so much going on at the house,
I cannot tell you, dear.
And you know your sister's doing
everything herself.
My sister's bending the environment
to her will? Really?
There's no wedding planners
or anything like that. It's just her
and Sidney and a whole lot of their friends.
And she is so thrilled
- that you're coming home.
- Great.
- Now, do we have everything?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can we just go?
Is there somebody that...
Anybody you need to say goodbye to?
God, no.
So are all of these energetic, young
wedding helpers staying at the house?
Because after nine months of constantly
revolving cell mates and crazy people and...
You weren't in a cell, Kym.
What? I was sort of looking forward to
a little privacy for once.
The only extra person at the house is Emma.
- Rachel and Emma.
- Yes.
Good God, how relaxing.
The only two people on the planet
less capable of delegating than Hannibal.
- On the eve of a wedding. Nachtmahr.
- Nachtmahr?
Nachtmahr. You don't know Nachtmahr?
Nachtmahrwas a nightmare so bad
it's in German.
I see.
Rachel must be, like, totally freaking out.
Is she too tense?
Are all of her latent food issues
rearing their heads?
Is she still hoarding Snickers
and Cool Whip under the bed
like when she was in high school?
She never did put that one to rest.
I don't think that's a problem
for her, darling.
No offense, Dad, but you never thought
that was a problem for her.
So I'm really looking forward
to seeing Mom.
You'll see your mom tonight and Andrew
at the rehearsal dinner.
Well, maybe I'll head over there,
to her house, after I see Rachel.
Well, I don't know.
Can we pull over, please?
I'm sorry, I feel nauseous,
and I need something to drink.
- I have a Diet Coke for you.
- I prefer Pepsi from the fountain.
Hey, didn't I see you on Cops?
- Olive.
- Hey, there's Olive.
Rented chairs, tribes of people.
Yep.
- Hey, Dad, don't worry about it.
I'll get it. - Got it.
Hi, gentlemen.
Hello.
Anyway, I'm sorry. I just saw a ghost.
- Is this too short?
- Oh, my God! You are just minute!
Kymmie!
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I have pins all over me.
- Yeah, I can feel.
- Kym, could you not smoke in here, please?
- You look great.
- Oh, no, I'm so fat.
Well, rehab makes you fat.
It's all the vending machines.
- No, stop it.
- No, you!
I would swear to God
that you were puking again.
- Hi, Kym.
- Hi, Emma.
Seriously, you're so tiny,
it's like you're Asian.
So what's the deal?
Are you an actual shrink yet?
Even though you're like 12 years old.
Rachel's taking psychology, not psychiatry.
You know the difference, right?
You should prescribe something soothing
for Emma, like Vicodin.
I will have my PhD in a year and a half,
and psychologists don't get
prescription pads.
I think they do in Guam, actually.
Could you please put that out?
Emma designed this dress,
and there's, like, 47 yards of fabric,
and it's going to go up like the Hindenburg.
- Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's going out.
- Thank you, Kym.
Angela Paylin is coming to the wedding.
Angela Paylin is not coming.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God!
I ate so much cookie dough and did
so many whippits with Angela Paylin.
I know.
And she confessed to you
her secret Elvis Stojko fantasy.
- How did you...
- What?
- I spied on you.
- Elvis Stojko, the figure skater?
Oh, my God!
She had this fantasy where
she was wearing her hair up,
- and these very serious...
- Very, very
...professional glasses because...
... very serious.
She was an Olympic judge.
A world-renowned judge. At the men's...
- Skating final in the winter Olympics.
- In the winter Olympics.
- And Elvis Stojko was skating...
- For the gold.
In the finals to Could This Be Magic.
By Barry. By Barry!
And just when Barry gets to...
- Now, now, now, and hold on fast!
- Now, now, and hold on fast!
He skates over to the table
and he stops in front of her.
Their eyes lock and he reaches for her hand.
- And she takes it.
- Takes it.
- Undoes her hair!
- Oh, my God.
And they skate as a pair
to the rest of the song.
- And he gets disqualified.
- But he doesn't care!
- But he doesn't care.
- Right. Oh, my God!
I'm going to go downstairs and find Olive
and get some unconditional love.
You look great.
- Welcome home.
- Thank you. Emma.
Speaking of dogs, when am I going to
meet this fianc of yours, anyhow?
He went to pick up some stuff with Kieran.
He'll be back.
I'm making hot dogs and hungabungas.
Who wants what?
- It's too hot.
- I don't eat gluten, Paul.
- Two...
- May I have one, too?
Yeah. You don't eat what, dear?
Gluten.
- Where's Kym?
- Besides, I'm in my dress.
You're in your dress? Let me see it.
- No!
- No!
- All right. Okay.
- Come on, Olive.
- What can I get for you, Kymmie?
- Actually, I'm late for a meeting.
And I have to pee into a cup
and register as a general biohazard.
Okay, I'll drive you, honey.
No, that's okay.
Just tell me which car I should use.
Well, honey...
- Can I get a hungabunga, Paul?
- One hungabunga.
- Can I get one, too?
- Two hungabungas.
Which car?
- Kymmie, do me a favor now.
- Excuse me.
- I have my license.
- I know, dear.
You just wouldn't believe my insurance
right now, and I'm not that comfortable.
Can we figure something else out?
Hi. Hi, I'm here to pee into a cup.
She's here to pee into a cup.
Someone will be right with you.
Okay. There's a meeting I have to get to.
- The meetings are over in the other
building. - I know that.
Someone will be right with you. Have a seat.
I'm an addict.
Cocksucker!
- Only once.
- Sorry.
Only once, my dealer.
- I was very hard up for cash.
- I'm okay.
- Thank you. Excuse me.
- Anyway, I'm in from Hawaii.
This is my first time at this meeting.
Thank you.
- Welcome.
- Go right ahead.
- I'm Steve. I'm an addict.
- Hi, Steve.
- Hi, Steve.
- Hey. This is my...
My first meeting, actually,
so I'm a little bit...
Hey. Thanks for coming, Steve.
"One. We admitted that we are powerless
over our addiction,
"that our lives had become unmanageable.
"Two. We came to believe that
a power greater than ourselves... "
And whatever happened to me,
it took me away.
It just gave me hope for one more day.
And that's how I live, one day at a time.
You see, yesterday is gone
and tomorrow is not here.
The only thing I can do is what I can do
today to make tomorrow different.
There was a point, man,
where I thought I could do one more,
take another drink.
But it always end up the same.
You know, one was too many
and a thousand was never enough.
I got tired of starting from
square one again, man.
You know everything that I built up with
my family, everything that I built up...
You know, and people helping me
and providing for me...
You know, you relapse,
you got to start all over again.
And, man, I got tired of
starting over again.
You know, it was dramatic.
You know, there's a lot of, you know...
It's ups and downs
and it's crazy, and then...
And just recently,
there's something, you know...
I can feel myself almost, like,
missing the drama sometimes. Like, I'm...
It gets so boring sometimes.
You know I used to say I'm not an addict.
And it took me years to say I was an addict.
Then I spent years, like...
That's all I was.
You know? I was just an addict.
If you could just, kind of, accept it as
a fact, just one fact among many.
- That I can be that and other things.
- That's right.
Things that are going to build you up
in the journey that you're on.
All of us have felt that way at some time.
But I want to encourage you.
You're doing well.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
And it says keep coming back,
'cause it works, if you work it.
Well, thanks a lot. I'll see you next time.
Kymmie! Carol, she's here.
Kymmie! I got a sandwich for you, darling.
It's meat loaf.
- Hi, dear.
- Hey.
- Quite a ride, huh?
- Yep.
- Meat loaf.
- Look at that.
- Yeah.
- Yummy.
- Okay.
- Wow. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- That's big.
I'm so glad you're here, darling.
I'm so glad you're back.
- Did you think I wasn't coming back?
- No.
- I'll take Bill's bike.
- Kymberly!
- Hey!
- Come meet Sidney.
- This is my betrothed, Sidney Williams.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hi.
And this is best man, Kieran.
- Hey.
- Hi, there.
- How are you?
- Good.
- How's your knee?
- Shut up.
You want meat loaf? My dad made meat loaf.
- Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.
I think that we have started
a new tradition.
- That's what I think, yeah.
- Yeah. What's that?
I think it's the best man
and the maid of honor
sneaking off to get it on,
while the rest of the wedding party?
Very happily
and furiously plans for the big event.
But I thought...
I thought that was Emma's role.
What?
The maid of honor.
I mean, I heard that that was the plan.
I'm sure it is.
- I might be wrong.
- No.
Do you love it?
I mean, the lilac's fabulous, Emma.
She looks like a freesia.
Isn't it beautiful?
We should just cover your tattoo.
What?
Nothing, nothing.
I just really like the gray.
Of course you do.
We're all wearing lilac.
It's coordinated. It's a wedding.
Okay, well, this is in the color scheme,
and it looks like a cloud.
- It's fantastic.
- Exactly.
- You know how I am. I don't wear lilac.
- It's good to have a principle.
What? You wore a lilac sweater
with a cat face on the front of it
on the cover of Seventeen magazine...
- That was so cute!
... when I was at fat camp.
Yeah, they paid me,
and I was on horse tranquillizer, so...
You look good. Seriously.
Why is Emma the maid of honor?
Why am I not the maid of honor?
Because.
What does that mean?
Because I wasn't entirely sure when
you were coming or if you'd even make it.
What? I wasn't sure
if you'd have time for a fitting...
Bullshit. It's a sari.
You take a bolt of cloth and you wrap it
around yourself a bunch of times.
Jesus Christ, I've been home for a day.
I can't get a straight answer
out of anybody.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Dad offering me food
every two seconds.
You know, Dad offers
Irish hunger strikers food.
No. You know, it's not even about the food.
He has to know exactly where I am
at all times because he's never
resolved his own trust issues.
- That's odd.
- You know what? Shut the fuck up!
- Blow me!
- Okay.
- Leave Dad alone.
- I'd love to. I want to, okay?
He won't let me. I just...
I can feel him watching me all the time.
And Carol, and you guys, too.
Because we have nothing better
to think about.
You know, everyone in the house is
looking at me like I'm a visiting sociopath.
I mean, seriously, what do you expect
me to do, burn the house down?
That was a mattress fire. That was
not even at home. It was at a sleepover.
Okay, you know what? Fine.
Fuck you both. You win.
I'm going to get "hazmat" tattooed
across my forehead for you people.
- Will that make you happy?
- God, you're like a harpy!
Okay, is being my maid of honor
that important to you?
Because I didn't think you gave a shit.
I'm sorry.
How could you fucking say that to me?
Jesus. Emma.
Emma, would you be horribly offended
and hurt
if I asked you step down as maid of honor?
For her? What?
Rachel, are you serious?
Is this what you want?
- Okay, fine. Fine.
- Not really.
You can have it. The crown is yours.
First runner-up.
Thank you, Emma, thank you.
- You know what?
- Everything is not about you, Kym.
No, it's not about me.
It's about sisterhood.
You're such a paragon of sisterhood.
Hooray for sisterhood!
You know what? Sisterhood conquers all.
You know, I can really see rehab
has done wonders for you, Kym.
Fuck you.
Cousin Joe, on leave, from Iraq.
I almost forgot him!
Come on and say...
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney
- Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney
- Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney
- Rachel
- Sidney
You know I tapped her on the shoulder.
I was like,
"How you doing? My name's Dorian.
I'd, you know, like to talk to you. "
And she was like, "Good to meet you.
Excuse me. Can you move over?
"There's a beautiful guy
standing right behind you. "
And it was Sid.
Dorian!
We've gotjoy like a fountain
We've gotjoy in our soul
Thank you guys for bringing us here.
Such a wonderful occasion to be here
and be back amongst family and friends.
You know, Paul, you've been such
a great friend of mine over the years.
It seems like yesterday when I met you.
And we were at your house playing music
and discussing music.
Watching everyone grow up. Rachel. Kym.
And now Rachel's getting married.
Rachel getting married.
Yeah.
But we also need to
honor my little friend Ethan
who's gone on to another plane now,
you know.
But his spirit is here
and he lives in our heart
and pays no rent every day.
And he's watching over us.
Charlie Parker said,
"The music speaks louder than words. "
So I'm going to play a piece for you
that I've written for this occasion.
It's called Rachel loves Sidney.
That's the A-side.
The B-side is Sidney loves Rachel.
Excuse me for a second.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know anyone at what is
obviously the loser end of the table.
Can I get to the masala?
You've known most of those people
since the eighth grade.
- I don't think so.
- You always pretend you don't know people.
- Watch my dress.
- Is it 'cause you owe them money?
I'm sorry, family members only
in this discussion.
Speaking of which, where is Mom?
Where's our mother?
How can she not be here?
I haven't seen her since I've been home.
She called a couple of times
and she said she's running late,
- but she should be here soon.
- God.
Kieran, do you want
any of this saag paneer?
No, thanks. Is there any krill?
- I'm kidding. Sorry, it's a joke.
- It just went over my head.
I can't believe Mom would be late
for my release back into the wild.
And here I was thinking tonight
was about Rachel.
Rach, I forgot to tell you.
Carol got the helium tanks.
The words Carol and helium somehowjust...
Hey, aren't there some rules
about helium tanks?
She would not have any idea
what to do with a helium tank.
I think that's only on public property?
Though, helium tanks.
- Yeah, it's a huge liability.
- Helium tanks?
- You're a lawyer?
- Was, for five minutes.
Say something legal.
Tort.
What do you do now?
Now I just help Sidney out
with the business side of his stuff.
Sweet.
- Do you want me to call her?
- No, no.
- There she is.
- Oh, my God! Mom!
- Mom!
- Darling, hi.
- Kym! Come here, honey.
- Thank you.
Did you get my note?
Yeah.
Let me look at you. You're beautiful.
- No, I'm fat. Rehab makes you fat.
- No, nonsense. You girls.
- Is everything okay?
- Yes.
Mom, where have you been?
- Everything's fine.
- Did you get the dates confused?
No, no, everything's fine, honey.
- Introduce me around.
- This is Sidney's family.
This is Carol-Jean. This is my mom, Abby.
- Congratulations.
- And this is her husband, Andrew.
- Andrew.
- John, Abby, my mom.
- Pleasure.
- Don't you steal her.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you. Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- And this is Grandma.
- Hello.
- Emma!
Mom, you look so great.
Really, you look amazing.
Honey, don't smoke. I don't think it's...
Can you smoke here?
- Yeah, yeah, totally. It's a private party?
- This is the best man, Kieran.
- Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you. I'm Kieran.
How's Grandma?
Is she still surly and irascible?
She's great. You know Grandma.
She sends her love.
- Great, same.
- You want to sit?
Go put the cigarette out,
'cause I don't think it's fine.
- Sit.
- Just put it out.
- Just put it out.
- Okay. It's going out.
The father of the bride and the father of
the groom are not supposed to do anything
but grin like jack -o' -lanterns
and write checks,
and I think that's what we've been doing,
John, you and I, yeah? Right?
Williams' family. Carol-Jean and John.
Beautiful sister Kyrah.
And of course, Grand Mama Herreast.
And Specialist Joseph Gonzales.
As the good doctor said to start us off
with the meal,
we're glad that you're out of harm's way,
and we want you home for good.
Happy to be home. Thank you.
Williams' family, welcome to Connecticut
and its complicated tax structure.
We just met.
I just want you to know
how blessed we are to be
joining forces with you, and we've just met,
but I'm going to tell you, we love you.
Well, I have known Sidney for...
What is it? Fifteen, 20, 20...
Most of my life, most of my life.
He's been a great friend.
He's been with me through thick and thin.
And
I'll tell you,
sometimes it's gotten very, very thin.
But he stood by me through all of it and...
My friend, it is a pleasure and an honor
to be able to stand by you
on this profound occasion.
I love you, and you couldn't have done
any better here.
Cheers.
We are gathered here to celebrate love
pure and simple.
Rachel is pure. Sidney is simple.
May the two of you live and love
for as long as you want,
but never want for as long as you live.
And most importantly,
may all of your ups and downs
come only in the bedroom.
- You're paying for that, Emma.
- I can't believe I just did that.
- Be careful, be careful.
- Don't cut yourself.
I want to make a toast to the happy couple
'cause I want to come visit you in Hawaii.
And, Sidney, what's the name
of that place again?
It's Hunuku-ook, Hunookook...
Yeah, what they said.
So I've known the bride her entire life.
Not biblically speaking.
Except for that time we French-kissed
at Evan Yasky's party? In ninth grade.
Stop!
- Film. I want film.
- It was a dare, you know.
So commence embarrassing story.
Wait, that wasn't it?
So do you remember when I was teaching
you how to drive in the Wagoneer,
and you sideswiped that taxi
and knocked off his side mirror?
No, I have no recollection
of that whatsoever.
Well, well, well, I would like to share
with everyone that Miss Rachel,
before she had her license
or knew anything about how to drive,
managed to out-maneuver an irate,
screaming cab driver
all the way across 96th Street
to the East River,
handily avoiding two EMT guys
loading an old lady
onto a gurney or something.
And then she got the number of one of
the EMT guys and went out with him twice.
Yeah, that I did do. Three. Three times.
Hey, Rach,
was that the guy with the peroxide hair?
So, anyway, when the cab driver
finally caught up with us,
she talked him down from
his Middle-Eastern fury in like...
Mahamoud! Such a nice man!
In like, you know, pretend Arabic,
Farsi, Urdu, I don't know.
And then she uses his radio thing
to call his dispatcher
and recommend him for a commendation
because she's so sweet.
So here's to a woman who can
drive fast, pick up a paramedic,
make up foreign languages
and still get you home in one piece.
And, Sidney, you're a lucky bastard.
Hear, hear.
I prayed for you, Rachel. I prayed for you.
I knew you'd come, and here you are,
and we are one, all of us.
And this is how it is in Heaven.
Just like this.
Amen.
And I'm so glad we're having
a rehearsal on it now.
Yes, it's the little princess.
Here's to you, Sid. I love you to pieces.
You're the best brother anybody can ask for.
I want to give thanks.
I've known Rachel since kindergarten,
not quite her entire life, Emma, but...
So you win. But...
I just... I'm so grateful
to be your bridesmaid
and be a part of this moment and...
Don't look at me like that.
Hello. Hello.
Hello.
Relax, it's seltzer.
Hello.
I'm Shiva the destroyer and your harbinger
of doom for this evening.
I would like to thank you all
for coming and welcome you.
Even though I haven't seen most of you
since my latest stretch in the big house.
But you all look fabulous.
So during the 20 minutes or so
that I was not in the hole for
making a shiv out of my toothbrush,
I actually did participate
in the infamous 12-step program.
Twelve steps.
Step-ball-change. Step-ball-change.
Still waiting for the change part.
So... But, you know, as they say,
the relapse is an almost inevitable part
of recovery.
So I get high marks in that mode.
Anywho.
I... Well, as more of you know
than are likely to admit,
one of the steps, actual steps,
is about making amends.
So, I did a lot of apologizing to people.
Some of whom barely remembered me,
most of whom barely remembered anything.
And I apologized for,
you know, like, bouncing a check,
or passing out in their bathtub
or flooding their
house and, you know,
just basically for involving them in
sordid activities that they were
desperately trying to forget. I
had to call this one girl who was,
I think, 14,
but she couldn't come to the phone
actually because
her mom had taken out
a restraining order, but...
But anyway... So I spent a lot of time...
The point is, I spent a lot of time
apologizing to people who were
pretty much perfect strangers.
So, I would very much
like to take this opportunity
to not only congratulate
my extraordinary sister,
the future explorer in matters of the mind,
thank you very much,
and her adorable, impending husband
on the occasion
of their unprecedented nuptials,
but also, to apologize
to said extraordinary sister,
future explorer in matters of the mind, for
what? I don't know. Everything.
And I really mean that, Rach. You've...
I've been a nightmare, you've been a saint,
and I'm reallyjust so damn glad
to be here with you
and Sidney's family
and our family and just...
Everyone's together and I'm just...
It's really great. So I am hereby
raising my seltzer to my laudatory sister
and herewith making amends.
Sidney, you are robbing
our dysfunctional family
of one of its most vital ingredients,
and its only member still willing to
lend me money.
- So, boo on you.
- That's not true.
Anyway, enjoy Hawaii.
- L'chaim.
- L'chaim.
One, two, one, two.
Yo, Sidney, who I met
hanging out in Kingston, Jamaica,
while we were at House of Leo,
and Stone Love was playing that night.
Those big speakers pounding,
all that Jamaican dub was pumping,
clouds of those medicinal herbs
were floating.
Man. Was a lot of fun, my man.
It was great meeting you, hanging out
with you, becoming friends with you,
seeing all the amazing things
that you're doing musically.
All I want to say to you guys is,
may you both live to be 100.
And me, 100, but minus a day,
so I'll never know beautiful people
like you have passed away.
Do your thing, baby.
I felt that. I felt that.
You drank it and I felt it.
I know.
Sidney has always nurtured me
and supported me
no matter what he's been through.
How much do you owe him?
How much money do you owe him?
In lira, it's billions.
Everyone's saying so much love
and beautiful words
and amazing stuff, and...
- This is not an award.
- I know, I'm not even using it.
You're like accepting an award here.
That's what it's about, you know,
there's nothing more.
Everything else, just destroy it.
Just destroy it.
Because without love... You know?
Hello, Olive.
I know it. It's in my head.
Oh, God, I am exhausted.
- Is there any watermelon?
- Let me see.
- Nice apology.
- What?
Nice apology.
I was toasting you
and I was making amends.
It's one of the steps. It's important.
I know what the steps are.
I learned them in school,
and I visited you in various
facilities, Kym.
Oh, God.
Dad? What?
"Amends. Noun, usually followed by 'for,'
off-set a disability
"or frustration by development
in another direction. "
- Yes.
- But you've never said anything to me
that's remotely apologetic,
yet all of sudden at my wedding dinner
in front of everybody,
you decide to grace us all
with your development.
I just got home.
"Gee. Hey, everybody and guests,
"just in case you might be thinking
about something else for five minutes,
"like, I don't know, my sister's wedding,
they just cut me loose.
"I'm a loose cannon!
Anybody up for some rehab humor?
"Because I'm really, really fine
with acknowledging my disease.
"Hey, and now watch me be really selfless
and weave a lovely blanket apology
"to my sister for being
just a tad out of her loop. "
- You are so cynical.
- Rachel, enough.
Rachel, she is making an effort here.
An effort, is that what that was?
Because I think she presumes
that since everything has always
revolved around her disease,
that everything else is going to revolve
around her recovery. That's what I think.
- Rachel, she just got home.
- Again.
- I had no idea you were so angry, Doctor.
- I'm not.
Oh, my God.
Kymmie, your sister has got
a lot on her plate right now.
- She is uptight about...
- I'm not uptight, Dad!
She's meeting Sidney's folks
for the first time, menus,
there's all this live music, you're home.
There's...
It's just that there are
a thousand things to worry about.
Absolutely. A wedding will take everything
out of you. I'll tell you that.
Yeah, and that's why it would be so lovely
if we could all...
You know, you people really need to purge.
You really should go to a Nar-Anon
or something. It's...
Now, Kym, come on, baby. Oh, my Lord.
We've been to Nar-Anon. You know that.
Wait, wait a second. You people? You mean,
your family? The people in this room?
Yes. All of you people living in
this little world ofjudgment
and paranoia and mistrust.
I can feel it all the time. It's like...
At the slightest sign of ingratitude or
absence of atonement, it's like
the fucking Salem witch trials around here.
- I should just use again. I should.
- Don't even start that.
- Don't even start.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Kym. Kym, look at me.
Nobody can make you feel any kind of
way unless you let them. Period. The end.
Thank you, Carol,
but you people are my family.
I mean, you make me feel like shit
a hundred times a day.
You know what, Rach? You try living under
Dad's constant monitoring for five minutes,
- tell me how you like it.
- What constant monitoring?
- Kym?
- Oh, my God! Are you serious?
"Carol, Carol, where is she?"
"Don't sleep here, sleep here.
Eat this. You know, I'll drive you. "
Dad, really, honestly,
you're kind of obsessed.
Oh, my God. That's hardly news.
I mean, you may not know this, Kym.
No, sure you do.
I mean, the only way to engage Dad
in any meaningful communication
is to start the conversation with your name.
"Have you heard from Kym? How's Kym?"
It resuscitates him.
It jars him into the moment, like an alarm.
- Rachel, that is not true. It is totally
unfair. - What? She's even worse, Dad!
"Dad, you're never going to believe this,
but that check you sent me
"never showed up,
and my landlord hates me. "
"Dad, can somebody meet me downstairs
with cab fare?
"And you're never going to believe this
"but I lost my wallet
and my checkbook got stolen.
"I got to go to the emergency room,
and everybody hates me. "
You know what, Rachel?
It really sounds like you have
some serious paternal/sibling
issues to work through.
Please! Are you kidding?
The two of you are like
a double helix of crises.
- Oh, shut up, shut up.
- I mean, in the language of psychology,
one could say
you both suffer from acute boundary issues.
Rachel! It is very nice that you're
getting your PhD.
- Oh, God!
- Don't be patronizing!
I'm sorry, but it's not...
It's ugly, honey. It's not becoming to you.
Well, how come she gets to spout off about
paternal/sibling issues,
but God forbid I should even reference
the boundary thing,
even though I actually know
what I'm talking about.
By the way, I'm not in crisis.
I haven't been in crisis in a year.
- You just got out of rehab!
- Oh, my God!
Why is this so difficult
for you to understand?
Rehabilitation, crisis.
You should really learn the difference.
No, it's like you're not happy unless
I'm in some kind of a desperate situation.
You have no idea what to do with me
unless I'm in crisis.
Why am I the only one
willing to say this shit?
You are so much more
evolved in your suffering.
I'm not... Who is talking about that?
Your suffering is not the most
important thing to everybody.
- Who is saying it is?
- I have a life. I'm in school.
- I'm getting married. I'm...
- What?
- I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant? You're pregnant now?
- Are you serious?
- Oh, my God!
- What?
- Oh, my God!
That is so unfair!
So unfair!
When did you find out about this?
Roughly about the day before
we decided to get married.
I can barely believe this myself!
How far? How along? You know?
I mean, how pregnant are you?
Did you tell your mother?
- Yeah. We told her at dinner.
- Good. Okay, good.
- She was so happy.
- Dad, stop. Can you just stop?
Please. Seriously. Fuck me!
Rachel, I'm sorry, Dad, but you can't drop
a tectonic bit of information
into a completely separate conversation,
Rachel. You can't do that.
- Kym, you're going to have a niece.
- Or nephew.
I know. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm excited for you.
But you can't
tell me when we're talking like this, Rach.
It's a total set-up. It's not fair.
Yeah.
God. I am so fucking exhausted.
Oh, God.
Dad, will you tell her I'm happy for her?
She won't talk to me.
I'm really tired.
I think I'm going to head up to bed. Sidney?
- Yeah. That's a great idea.
- You're leaving now,
- in the middle of this conversation?
- Yes.
Kymmie, she's pregnant
and she's exhausted, baby.
Okay. Okay, fine. Fair enough.
Thank you so much
for telling me about Hawaii.
- Congratulations, Sid.
- Thanks.
Rachel, I cannot tell you how happy I am.
Do you guys want anything?
Do you want a sandwich or anything?
You guys must be hungry.
You got aloo gobi, there's cold saagwala.
- I really am pretty sleepy, Dad.
- You really are pretty everything!
And you, too!
Holy cow. This has been one hell of a day.
I think...
If you don't mind, sweetie,
I'm just going...
- No!
- I mean, my God.
- I'm just going to go to bed.
- I'll be right up, dear.
- I just want to load the dishwasher.
- Grandpa.
That's me.
Thanks for taking that.
- I'll see you in the morning.
- Night, night. Sweet dreams.
You know, I hope it was okay
that we told Mom at dinner about the baby.
Of course it was, lamb chop.
You should tell her.
I'm just so happy 'cause
I'm going to be a granddaddy.
- I wish Ethan were here.
- You what?
- I wish Ethan were here.
- I know, sweetheart. Me, too. Me, too.
- Take that woman.
- You got it.
Just let me know if you need
a hand with any of that.
Get out of here, Sid.
Oh, gosh. Look at that. How exquisite.
- Isn't that pretty?
- I can't borrow this.
What do you carry in here?
- A vital organ? A tiny spleen?
- It's divine, really.
You know, Rachel, you really have to
take care of yourself now, you know?
You have to eat properly.
You have to get enough rest.
I will, Mom.
How's everything at the house?
Is it all right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? How's Sidney?
Good, good.
What about his friend? What's his name?
- Kieran.
- Right.
He was a big hit, wasn't he?
- Is your sister behaving herself?
- I'm not exactly sure what that means.
Well, she needs a lot of acknowledgment.
- You think?
- Come on.
It can't be easy.
Everybody knowing your troubles like that.
Stop fretting.
Mom, does it bother you at all,
Carol doing so much stuff for the wedding?
No. I'm thrilled to be doing the flowers.
Come on. You know how much that means
to me. And they're going to be exquisite.
- I bet.
- That's just enough.
But I mean,
you could do whatever you want.
I mean, the flowers are going to be great,
and so are you, and...
If you wanted to do anything else I would...
Thank you, sweetheart. No, I don't.
Can you see me? I'd be one of those
women, you know, like,
the insane wedding mother,
you know, the hors d'oeuvres, and...
Come on, those little hot dogs? It's not me.
It's going to be perfect.
Everything is going to be so beautiful.
And even your sister is going to have
a good time. It's all great.
And I'm going to be a grandmother!
So hooray!
Hooray!
Here's Grandma's ring. Let's try this.
Try it on.
I hope it's a boy.
Just as long as it's healthy,
that's what you say.
- Hi, I'm Kym. I'm an addict.
- Hi, Kym.
I am nine months clean.
When I was 16,
I was babysitting my little brother.
And I was...
I had taken all these Percocet
and I was unbelievably high.
And I...
We'd driven over to the park on Lakeshore.
And he was in his red socks,
just running around in these
piles of leaves.
And he would bury me,
and I would bury him in the leaves.
And he was pretending that he was a train.
And so, he was charging through the leaves,
making tracks.
And I was the caboose and I was...
So he kept saying,
"Coal, caboose! Coal, caboose!"
And...
We were...
It was time to go and I was driving home.
And
I lost control of the car
and drove off the bridge.
And the car went into the lake.
And I couldn't get him out of his car seat.
And he drowned.
And I struggle with God so much
because I can't forgive myself.
And I don't really want to right now. I can
live with it, but I can't forgive myself.
And sometimes, I don't want to believe
in a god that could forgive me.
But I do want to be sober.
I'm alive and I'm present,
and there's nothing controlling me.
If I hurt someone, I hurt someone.
I can apologize
and they can forgive me or not.
But I can change.
And I just wanted to share that and say,
congratulations that God makes you
look up. I'm so happy for you.
But if he doesn't, come here.
That's all. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing.
Where's... Where's you, Emma?
- Emma, where's you?
- I'm right here.
- It's really raining.
- That's today.
- Done.
- It's going to be fine.
Okay.
It's going to be totally, totally,
totally fine.
All right.
This is what you've got, Emma? So far?
I'm fine. That is kind of perfect.
There's six of each, right?
- Except for me.
- I'm the telephone.
Hey, Rachel! Check it out!
- Oh, my God!
- It's up.
It's going to have walls around it as well.
Yay!
You guys, there's too many at this table.
- Sorry.
- There's too many.
Carol, they're back!
Are you guys hungry?
I made a salad nioise. It's got tuna.
I was just thinking salad nioise.
- Dad, can we focus on what we were doing?
- Of course. I'm sorry.
Hey.
The Rosenzwiegs.
Could we put the Rosenzwiegs far from me?
- Dad, they're your friends.
- They are not my friends, darling.
They've just lived next door
to us for 10,000 years.
I am this lovely face right over here.
That is a perfect place to put me in.
Where are you putting me? In the stockade?
Kym, stop it, you're at the family table.
Listen, just don't sit me next to
Michael or Sandy, okay?
They're not invited.
Sandy never responded to
my amends e-mail from Milestones.
I hate it when people
don't meet you halfway.
You know, why don't you give
the amends thing a rest?
You're at the family table with us.
That would make it 13, though.
I think Rachel wanted to keep it to 12.
Right.
Where are you putting me?
I was going to put you with Cookie Puss
and the Chicago cousins
because they always get really drunk
and need wrangling.
Well, can someone else do it?
I was sort of planning on enjoying myself.
- You're the only one they're afraid of.
- No, this is easy.
We can put Grandma Rose
down here with her companion
at this other table,
which is actually a really good idea.
Great. That's all I need. Another reason
for Grandma Rose to hate me.
- She does not hate you.
- Are you kidding?
She's still mad about
the whole Rite Aid thing.
Nonsense!
Dad, can I show you something
in the kitchen?
- Eliza, would you excuse us for a moment?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
- Rachel, what is this behavior?
- Can I just have a day? Please?
Have all the days you want, darling.
Nobody is trying to take your day.
Then why are you defending her?
Defending her from what?
Rachel, nobody's defending anybody.
Why are you protecting her?
Because I don't want her to think
we don't want her.
Sometimes I don't want her.
It's my fucking wedding!
- I want my table to be perfect.
- She's your sister. Stop.
Let's put the dishes here because
I have to reload this dishwasher, I can see.
Paul, you know...
Paul, I was thinking about it,
and I actually did some preliminary
sketches. I'd love to show them to you.
He's actually...
He's not kidding about this.
- I think that if you move...
- He's been working on this.
If you move things like the salad bowls
on the upper tier,
you could probably get about
10% more stuff in the dishwasher, so...
Sidney.
Does he know?
You're showing me how to load
the dishwasher?
I'm showing you how to do it right.
Sidney,
my future son-in-law,
you're a wonderful young man.
You'll make a lot of money in this business,
and the world is your oyster,
but you don't know shit
about loading a dishwasher.
Well, with all due respect, sir,
the mantle has passed.
Painful. Painful, sweetie.
All right.
Oh, no!
What, are we timing it?
Yeah, let's work with time,
if you're going to do it right.
- Dad, what's the time limit?
- Go!
- How long do you want to time it?
- Two minutes.
Is that all right?
Are you all right with that, sir?
Would you like me to spot you 30 seconds?
- Go!
- Paul, I think your problem is mainly
in lid placement.
Inverting the lids and putting them
in the upper tier is just pass.
- It's kind of old-school.
- There's food on that one!
- Thank you, Kymmie.
- Lettuce leaf, lettuce leaf!
Follow the schematic.
It might be worth pointing out
that the dishes need to be rinsed.
- Are you shaking in your boots?
- You got 20 seconds.
Fifteen seconds left.
Rachel, darling, you are out of the will.
You know that?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one...
You know, all you young people
who are applauding,
you should go fuck yourselves.
- Sweetie, keep it clean!
- No, I'm just saying.
- It's a wonderful attempt, Son.
- Okay. I tried to fix it.
Kieran, if you could clean out
that machine, I will then be able
to break out the whoop-ass
on this young man here.
He's breaking out the whoop-ass!
- Let's break out the whoop-ass.
- Break out the whoop-ass.
When that machine is empty,
I will show you how it's done.
What is this whoop-ass you speak of?
You should rest. You should rest. Really.
- Silverware is a part of the art.
- Okay, all right.
I will say that Sidney had
a little time to survey things.
He did a little planning
and made some sketches.
But that's all right.
I'm ready any time you say "go. "
Go!
$5! $5 on the geezer!
Rinsing!
Go, Dad!
Here, Son. Have some.
Cup handles!
Side load!
I didn't know about side load.
He's good.
Buchman, in front of your family.
Buchman, your women will weep.
Last one!
- Could I have my time, please?
- You have 15 seconds left.
Fifteen seconds left and I need more dishes!
Somebody give me more dishes!
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad!
- Don't get cocky, keep it going.
- Where we at? Kieran?
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one...
- All right.
- That's it, man. That's...
What?
Where are you going?
Let's grab some lemonade on the porch.
Is everything okay?
- Hey!
- See you later.
I have to. I mean...
I mean, if I could do it the way
I wanted to do it. Literally...
Hey, Rach? Are you getting a manicure?
Hi.
You don't remember me, do you?
Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
God is punishing me.
No, no, he's blessing me.
Well. Wow.
- So, how are you?
- I'm great. I'm great.
You remember?
We were in the hospital together, right?
We were... Were you at Milestones?
No. I didn't go to Milestones.
I didn't have the coverage.
We were on the same floor at Loeb House.
Okay.
- You look great.
- Twenty-eight months, clean and sober.
Praise God.
Amen.
I can't believe that I'm seeing you again.
I know. It's so weird.
Listen.
Do you remember that exercise
where we had to write down experiences
and pass them anonymously
to another person?
Yeah. Yeah, the human mirror.
Seeing things from a fresh perspective.
I got yours.
You drew poodles in the margins.
I know it's supposed to be anonymous
and everything...
- Yeah.
... but you...
You
were so brave.
The way your uncle abused
you and your sister
and how it led to your sister's anorexia.
And how you stayed up nights with her
when she was down to 50 pounds.
I will never forget reading that,
- I swear to God.
- Yeah.
I never, ever, thought I would have
the chance to thank you.
It was your strength
that gave me the courage
to confront my own abuse
and help turn my life around.
- Listen, I'm in a great group.
- Rachel. I...
I'm so glad to hear it. Excuse me.
Sir, just stop.
Sorry, I just need a second. Rachel?
Rachel?
Rachel, what are you doing?
Where... Where are you going?
Rachel!
You know, I never had anorexia.
And you certainly didn't watch over me
while I was sleeping.
And we don't have a
goddamned pedophile uncle
who made our childhood a living hell
and explains away all your shit
in one fell swoop.
Did you tell them that Dad forced us
into a life of prostitution as well?
I wasn't hurting... No one got hurt, Rach.
- I'm hurt.
- Where are you going?
Rachel, open the door. Rachel!
So what, you're just going?
- I'm sorry, but I hate her.
- No, you don't hate her.
Dad, don't tell me what I don't hate.
I hate, hate, hate the lies.
I mean, she lied in rehab.
What do you mean, she lied?
I mean, she lied to the people
who were working with her,
who were trying to help her.
Dad, she lies to everybody.
Where is she now?
- Where am I now, Dad?
- Thank God.
- Rachel!
- We're in here, Kym.
Thanks for abandoning me.
I had to take a taxi.
Hey, Rach.
I mean, are you kidding me?
Why would anything I said or didn't say
at the hospital...
Jesus Christ!
Are they going to play all weekend?
- Knock it off!
- Norman! Boys! Stop, please!
Guys, would you give it a rest?
Just give it a rest.
Why would it hurt you? It wasn't about you!
- Why not?
- Rachel.
What? Stop, Dad. Why not?
Why wasn't it about me?
I mean, I was hopeful.
I was on your side. Still am.
Do you have any idea what that means?
Do you have any idea
how lonely it was here with everybody gone
into your
terrible little world?
I mean, there was nothing left.
Everybody was just empty.
You think that they
knew I was alive
or needed anything during your
life?
And after all that, the fights,
the screaming,
the blaming, the loneliness,
and Mom and Dad and the divorce and
death
and all that fucking hopefulness, I mean...
And Dad not even being able to listen
to music any more.
You were lying about us instead of
telling the truth about yourself.
God, Rach.
What is this about, girls?
Well, apparently, she has a whole history
of sexual molestation
that we didn't know about.
- What?
- God.
Kym, what is your sister saying?
Did you say you were sexually molested?
It was a long time ago.
Were you?
No!
Why in God's name
would you say something like that?
It was an anonymous exercise.
And it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dad, look at me. Okay? I am right here.
Okay?
And I am telling you that after Ethan died,
I wanted her to get better orjust die.
- Rachel, she's better.
- And... No, no.
Recovery doesn't work if you lie.
She knows that.
I am worthless to her.
- She doesn't give a shit about the rest of
us! - You are not worthless. How dare you!
You're my sister.
I love you guys.
I need you guys, but you don't
get to sit around
for the rest of my life deciding
what I'm supposed to be like.
I mean, you weren't there.
You weren't inside of my head
when I was fucked-up.
- You are certainly not there now.
- Kym.
You haven't got any idea how I feel.
Kym, you took Ethan for granted.
Okay. You were high for his life.
You were not present.
- Okay. You were high.
- Yes.
And you drove him off a bridge.
And now he's dead.
- Rachel, it was an accident.
- Yes, I was.
Yes, I was stoned out of my mind.
Who do I have to be now?
I could be Mother Theresa.
It wouldn't make a difference what I did.
Did I sacrifice every bit of
love in this life because
I killed our little brother?
- It was an accident. It was an accident.
- And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Kymmie, Kymmie, it was an accident.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too, Dad.
Can I...
I'm sorry, guys. I just want to...
If I can say something.
Look, I know you're... You're, you know...
Everyone's concerned about her,
where she might be.
Listen, you know,
when you're getting out of rehab,
it's very, very difficult
and it's especially difficult to go
to see your family. I mean, it just...
I mean, when I...
When I got out, I didn't see them for years.
And it just really takes time,
and I... And...
If you're not ready to take
responsibility for something,
people make something up,
which is probably what happened, but...
I mean, you know,
honestly, Rachel, that happened like...
It was a couple of years ago...
Paul, do you want me to go out
and look for her?
No.
You can't. I mean, you have
a wedding tomorrow. A hundred people...
I'll go. I mean, you know...
It's fine. I'll go.
- Where are you going to go?
- I can take a look for her.
Do you guys know where she might be, or...
Hello?
I'm sorry?
It's the caterer.
- Let me deal with it.
- I'll tell you what.
Hello?
You should really call Daddy, honey.
Yeah, okay. In a minute.
- You know how he worries.
- I will in a minute, yeah.
You know, he's worried, honey.
I need a glass of water.
Here. I made tea.
Come sit down, honey. You look so upset.
Is Andrew going to be home soon?
Yes. He just went to a dinner. Not late.
Did something happen
with you and Rachel?
Is everything all right with the wedding?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Why did you leave me in charge of him?
You knew. All of you knew.
- Kym.
- People told you.
I was a junkie. I was a crazy drug addict.
- I stole from you.
- Yes.
I lied to your face.
I weighed six pounds.
My hair was falling out.
- I spent every dinner in the bathroom.
- Honey, you were sick.
- That was an illness.
- You know what I was.
I stayed in my room for days.
I passed out all the time.
No, no.
- What were you thinking?
- No.
Why did you leave me?
I was there. I didn't leave you.
Why would you leave me in charge of him?
Because you were good with him.
- Mom, Mom, why would you leave...
- No, you were...
...a drug addict to watch your son?
No! You were good with him!
- You were the best you were with him!
- Listen to me! Listen!
I didn't expect you to kill him, sweetheart!
- You were not supposed to kill him!
- Mom!
Mom! What are you doing? Get off!
- Oh, God! God!
- Mom!
Fuck.
Are you okay, miss?
Right over here. It's a mess.
It's Kym. I'm fine.
I...
- Thanks a lot.
- No problem.
Hi.
I'm the maid of honor.
Cool. I know you.
I used to work at that dog-grooming place.
You holding?
- Kymmie?
- Oh, God, Dad.
- Kymmie, are... Oh, God. Are you all right?
- Yeah. I just need to go.
No, we've got to get to the hospital.
No, Dad. I need to get dressed.
- Kymmie, we've got to get you
to a hospital. - I'm fine, please.
Kym, you can't just vanish.
You can't just leave.
You have to call, now.
You always have to call.
I know.
Fuck.
Come here.
- Fuck. I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
Goes in, like, 12 directions.
I'm so happy you're home.
And see if you can fold it
into three pieces at the top.
Okay, hold on. Let me try.
You were right about the gray.
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney
- Rachel, Rachel
- Sidney, Sidney
We've come together
to show our support for
Sidney and Rachel in theirjoining hands
and in joining themselves together
in holy wedlock.
The weather's been pretty miserable
all weekend, but now it's a beautiful day.
And it's a beautiful day because
when two people come together
who really love one another
and want to share that with other people,
it makes it a beautiful day.
So Sidney Williams and Rachel Buchman
have come do to that.
And, Rachel, you go first.
Paul Buchman likes to say
that the measure of a great life is
not how well loved you are,
but how well you love others.
Sidney, you teach me that every day.
You are just so full of grace,
and I promise before God
and these beautiful people
that I will love you fiercely
and sweetly.
And I look forward to sharing
that great life with you.
Thank you for marrying me.
All that I ever wanted was
to just hear music,
and when I met you, I heard you.
And, Rachel, you're the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.
Thank you for marrying me.
You're welcome.
She used to work in a diner
Never saw a woman look finer
I used to orderjust to watch her
float across the floor
She grew up in a small town
Never put her roots down
Daddy always kept moving, so she did, too
You know it ain't easy
You got to hold on
She was an unknown legend in her time
Now she's dressing two kids
Looking for a magic kiss
She gets the faraway look in her eyes
Somewhere on a desert highway
She rides a Harley-Davidson
Her long brown hair flying in the wind
She's been running half her life
The chrome and steel she rides
colliding with
The very air she breathes
The air she breathes
Do we have some rings?
Sidney, you go first
and place the ring on Rachel's hand.
Do you?
Yeah, I do.
Sidney does. Do you, Rachel?
I do.
All right.
By the power vested in me by
the state of Connecticut and by Neil Young,
I pronounce that they are husband and wife,
and now you can kiss him.
Okay. We're going to cut the cake.
Everybody who wants to see it, come now.
Tastes like lime and turmeric.
It's got, like, turmeric in it.
Baby Boy, let them take the picture.
Yeah, Baby Boy.
Can we all do this together?
Everybody.
Kym?
Wait. Where's... Where's Kym?
I'm here.
Mom?
- Dear God...
- Wait, wait, wait. Mom.
Okay, look at the camera. One, two, three.
That's great. Thank you.
Dear God, please bless this family and
let them always invite us over for dinner,
because God knows
my new wife cannot boil water or fry an egg.
And now a word from our sponsor.
Mr. Buchman, if you please!
I'm getting now to the Williams family.
It's a done deal. We're relatives.
We were fortunate that they could be
joined by Specialist Joseph Gonzales.
Son, we want you home and we want you
to put that damn camera down.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Sorry.
No. Come in.
Come on.
Have you seen Mom?
No, she's probably taking a break.
How do you take a break from your own
daughter's wedding?
You know Mom. She doesn't really...
Oh, yeah. Here's the party?
Okay, this is too cute for me.
- Hello?
- Hello?
Rachel. Well, here you all are.
I've been looking all over for you.
Hey.
So lovely. I'm truly...
- Abby?
- Yeah?
- They're bringing the car around.
- Okay. Great.
Wait. You're leaving?
Honey, I'm so exhausted,
but I had such a marvelous time.
Everything was great. Carol and Daddy
really did a great job, don't you think?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, I just didn't want to make a
big scene. We're just going to slip away.
- You could make a little scene.
- Well, I'm making it. Right?
Andrew and I have to go to Washington
tomorrow. So we're going to take off.
Why are you going to Washington?
I thought I told you. No?
We'll just be a week.
We have a bunch of meetings. But you guys
are going away real soon, right?
What about our post-nuptial
wedding gossip reconnaissance, Mom?
Well, you could come by in the morning.
Yeah...
No, no, that's a stupid idea. Don't call
me early. It's your wedding night.
You're not going to get up early.
That was silly. Anyway...
I have to get Andrew ready
'cause he's absolutely hopeless in this way.
So...
We'll just be a bit and then we'll be back.
Everything was so lovely,
even the weather cooperated.
It was beautiful, honey. Okay.
Wait.
I want my mother and my sister.
- Congratulations, Daddy.
- Thanks.
All right, Rachel.
- All right, Rach. Okay.
- Okay.
- You'll call me every day about you know...
- Yes. Of course.
- You take care. All right?
- Bye.
- Son-in-law.
- Mother-in-law.
Take care of yourself.
- Paul, Carol, it was so lovely.
- Thank you.
- Get some rest.
- Okay.
I can't find my cigarettes.
Just give me a second.
Kymmie. Kym.
You remember Susanna Galeano?
- Hi.
- Hi, Kym. How are you?
Suzy runs a first rate PR firm and, darling,
she has just lost an office assistant.
We really are down a person.
And I was wondering,
have you ever
thought about public relations?
The public's kind of afraid of me.
Listen, Suzy
is opening a new office right here.
- Darling, you could be at home.
- I tell you what.
- Why don't you call me on Monday?
- Give her a card.
- And we can talk about it?
- That would be great.
- This is just too perfect.
- It's stuck, here we go.
- Thank you.
- Paul, it was beautiful.
- I'm gonna have to go.
- Suzy, Suzy, thank you. I know.
You look wonderful.
Do you want me
to hold that card now for you?
No, no. I got it. Just... Give me a second.
I'll be back in a minute.
Okay.
Hello?
You making a break for it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I got to go.
Yeah. Okay.
If you ever need anything...
If I need to post bond?
No. If you ever need anything.
Thank you.
Maybe you'll come visit me in Hawaii.
- That would be nice.
- Yes, it would.
- I got to go.
- Okay.
- I got it.
- Okay.
Kym.
Daddy?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- How you feeling?
- I'm okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
You should probably just ignore the eye.
It's a long story.
- Okay.
- Kymmie.
Hey.
- Hey, I'm Kym's sister.
- Hi.
- This is Rosa.
- Rachel.
Rachel, I heard a lot about you.
You got married.
- I did, yeah.
- Congratulations.
Thank you.
I love your baby.
Me, too.
- Great.
- Nice to meet you.