Roald Dahl's Matilda the Musical (2022) Movie Script

1
[chiming music playing]
My mummy says I'm a miracle
[belches]
-[both sighing]
-[man chuckles]
My daddy says I'm a special little guy
I am a princess
I am a prince
[both] Mum says I'm a angel
Sent down from the sky
My daddy says
I'm his special little soldier
-No one is as bold
-[both] Or tough as me
Has my daddy told ya?
One day when I'm older
I can be a soldier
And punch you in the face
Take another picture of our pumpkin
From this angle over here
I know we oughtn't say this
But she's clearly cuter than her peers
-What a dear
-Yoo-hoo, honey, look at Mummy
Try not to vomit on your brother
-Now smile for Mummy
-Smile for Mother
-I think she blinked
-Well, take another
Have you seen what he can do?
Is that unusual for day two?
Is smiling early not a sign
Of an exceptional IQ?
She's just delightful
-So intuitive
-So insightful
Might he be
A little brighter than the norm?
I know to say it's frightful form
[children] My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face
And it's plain to see
Ever since the day
Doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer
For a miracle like me
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny
And as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical
But it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle
As factually spectacularly
Actually miraculously
Fabulous a miracle as me
A baby?
I'm not having a baby.
What on earth gives you that idea?
I'm not listening to this.
This is quackery.
But you're about to give birth.
Are you out of your mi
[whimpering]
Mrs. Wormwood,
you're having a contraction.
I'm not having contractions.
Contractions are for pregnant women
[exclaiming]
who are having ba
[yelling] bies!
I'm having a stinking baby!
Every life I bring into this world
Restores my faith in humankind
[nurse] Whoa-oh-oh! Oh!
Each newborn life
A canvas yet unpainted
Their still unbroken skin
Their uncorrupted minds
Every life is unbelievably unlikely
[straining]
Their chances of existence
Almost infinitely small
-The most common thing in life
-[shrieking]
Is life
[baby crying]
And yet every single life
Every new life
Is a miracle
[chorus] Miracle
What?
A girl.
What, you mean my son is a girl?
I mean that your daughter is a girl.
Yeah, but the balloons, Doctor.
[laughing] I mean
the balloons, they say "boy."
Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just
given birth to a beautiful, healthy,
happy little girl. She's perfect.
This is fantastic news.
[both] Why do bad things
Always happen to good people
Fine upstanding citizens like
You and me
Why when we've done nothing wrong
Should this disaster come along
-This horrible
-[doctors] Miracle
-Weird-looking
-Miracle
Hairy little, sticky thing
With no sign of a winky-dink at all
Every life is a miracle
Every life is a miracle
Every life is a miracle
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face
And it's plain to see
Ever since the day
Doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer
For a miracle like me
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny
As a mirror ball
You can be all cynical
But it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle
A miracle as miracle as
[voices fade, echoing]
My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm
My daddy says I'm a bore
My mummy says
I'm a jumped-up little germ
That kids like me
Should be against the law
My daddy says I should learn
To shut my pie hole
No one likes
A smart-mouthed girl like me
Mum says I'm a good case
For population control
Dad says I should watch more TV
Everything all right, Matilda?
Yes, thank you, Mrs. Phelps.
Only, it's sort of closing time.
Oh, right.
I could stay while you pack up?
When I say "sort of," I mean an hour ago.
I already have packed up.
You looked so peaceful
I didn't want to disturb you.
But I just know your parents cannot wait
to have you back home.
Oh, yeah, they love me home.
Just love me at home.
[Mrs. Wormwood]
Oh, no, it's a disaster, Harry!
We forgot to send it to school!
He goes to school all the time,
don't you, boy?
I'm a girl, and no, I don't.
I've never been to school.
-Where d'you get all the books from?
-From the library.
What, they're doing books now?
Oh, you are such an idiot!
What, me?
I've got a business to run.
It's not my job to look after brats.
Haven't I got enough stress,
what with all this debt you've put us in?
That I've put us in?
Yeah, yeah, you. Don't you get it?
We're trapped in the chains of debt.
And you, you expect me
to escape like I'm some kind of
flaming escapologist!
Escapologist, is it?
Well, I have a whole house to run.
Dinners don't microwave themselves,
you know.
[man] Hello?
-Who the flaming flip's that?
-[whispering] I was gonna tell you.
The school inspector's here.
He's in the dining room with some floozy.
What are we going to do?
Well
Dr Martin Luther King once said,
"A lie cannot live."
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll lie our way out of it.
Like what that doctor said.
Home schooling, uh, yeah.
We homeschool that one.
It's all the rage these days.
You know, what with being a businessman
and an entrepreneur.
Well, then, I understand rage.
Okay
And what kind of education
does she receive here?
Well, I do makeup and Harry does welding.
[chatter continues, indistinct]
Matilda, isn't it?
My name's Miss Honey.
So you've been homeschooled, have you?
We were wondering if you'd like
to come to be school-schooled.
We're a few weeks in already,
but, uh, we've another girl
who's missed the start of term too.
You could just join her.
What's it like?
School-school.
Uh sometimes it can be intense.
But I promise you my class is just fun.
I'll teach you all about history
and music and literature--
Literature! So, books then?
At school, we have loads of books.
Full of stories.
And we'll even teach you
how to write your own.
How does that sound?
[Harry] All right,
look, look, look, I'll sort this.
I'd better go.
Hm.
[Matilda] Once upon a time
there was a little girl
who was trapped.
[Harry] I can't believe that!
Talking to me like that.
How dare they!
I'm getting fined because of you!
It's not my fault!
You forgot to send me to school.
Yeah, well you're going to school now,
and you're gonna meet The Trunchbull.
The Trunchbull?
Agatha Trunchbull.
Headmistress of Crunchem Hall.
Big, strong, scary woman she is.
Used to compete in the Olympics.
Yeah, throwing the hammer.
And guess what I just did?
I called her and told her
what a nasty little,
troublemaking goblin you are.
No!
Oh, she is so looking forward
to meeting you!
-[cackling]
-That's not fair!
It's not right!
[Harry] That oughta teach you,
ruining our life!
[Mrs. Wormwood]
Yeah, disgusting little gargoyle.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
So they say
The subsequent fall was inevitable
They never stood a chance
They were written that way
Innocent victims of their story
-[door creaking]
-Like Romeo and Juliet
[both laughing]
'Twas written in the stars
Before they even met
That love and fate
And a touch of stupidity
Would rob them of
Their hope of living happily
The endings are often
A little bit gory
I wonder why they didn't just
Change their story?
[applause on TV]
We're told we have to do
What we're told but surely
Sometimes you have to be
A little bit naughty
Just because you find
That life's not fair
It doesn't mean that you just have to
Grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin
And wear it
Nothing will change
Even if you're little you can do a lot
You mustn't let a little thing
Like "little" stop you
If you sit around
And let them get on top
You might as well be saying
You think that it's okay
And that's not right
And if it's not right
You have to put it right
In the slip of a bolt
There's a tiny revolt
The seed of a war
In the creak of a floorboard
A storm can begin
With the flap of a wing
-[moaning]
-The tiniest mite
Packs the mightiest sting
Every day
Starts with the tick of the clock
All escapes start
With the click of a lock
If you're stuck in your story
And want to get out
You don't have to cry
-You don't have to shout
-[screaming]
'Cause if you're little
You can do a lot
You mustn't let a little thing
Like "little" stop you
If you sit around
And let them get on top
You won't change a thing
[chirping]
Just because you find that
Life's not fair
It doesn't mean that you just have to
Grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin
And wear it
You might as well be saying
You think that it's okay
And that's not right
And if it's not right
You have to put it right
[yelling]
But nobody else is going to
Put it right for me
Nobody but me is gonna
Change my story
Sometimes you have to be
A little bit naughty
What have you done to my hair?
Oh.
[door shuts]
Why d'you want it green anyway?
Is it a circus thing or?
What circus thing?
This escapologist you keep going on about.
Does he have green hair?
There is no escapologist,
and I keep telling you I didn't do it.
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[Matilda] Escapologist Escapologist
Once upon a time,
there was a great escapologist.
He was so kind.
The sort of man any child
would love to have as their father.
And one day he fell in love with
an acrobat.
[Mrs. Phelps] Matilda?
Hello, Mrs. Phelps!
School doesn't start
for another hour yet, does it?
Oh, I'm early because of excitement.
Miss Honey's gonna
teach us to tell stories.
But I think I've got one already.
I can feel it sort of wriggling in me.
-Like it's bursting to get out.
-Well, I think if it's bursting,
you should probably
tell it as soon as possible, don't you?
I'll get us some lemonade.
But it might be a bit intense.
Matilda Wormwood, stories are my business.
I think I'll be fine.
[Matilda] Once upon a time,
the two greatest circus performers
in the world
an escapologist, who could
escape from any lock ever invented,
and an acrobat, who was so skilled,
it seemed she could actually fly,
-fell in love and got married.
-[slurping]
Together they performed the most
incredible feats anyone had ever seen.
People would come from miles around.
Kings, queens, celebrities and astronauts.
But despite their love,
despite their fame, they were sad.
"We have everything that
the world has to offer," said the wife.
"But not the one thing in the world
we want most.
We do not have a child."
"Patience my love,"
the husband replied.
"Time is on our side.
Even time loves us."
But time is the one thing
no one is master of.
And as time passed,
they grew quite old and still,
no child.
The sadness of living alone
in their big, empty house
drew them on to ever more dangerous feats,
as work became the only place to escape
the inescapable sorrow of their lives.
[yelling]
And so it was, they decided to perform
the most dangerous feat
ever in the world, ever!
It is called
Said the acrobat,
announcing the event to the world's press,
who had gathered to listen
with bated breath.
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught by the Man Locked in the Cage and
[both] it is the most dangerous feat
ever in the world ever!
[shouting questions]
It is our destiny.
It is where the loneliness of life
has led us.
[bell tolling faintly]
Well, what happened next?
I I don't know.
Not yet, anyway.
School's open. I'd better go.
But what about the rest of the story?
I'll tell you the rest tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
But I'm over at the lake tomorrow.
[Matilda] The lake, okay.
Well, have a great day at school.
And be careful in there.
Oh, I'm not worried.
If people do scary things to you,
you can just do scary things back.
[Mrs. Phelps] But Matilda, remember,
two wrongs don't make a right.
Unless they do.
In which case you've just made
a right out of two wrongs.
Which has got to be good!
[children chattering]
Is it your first day too?
Yes, I'm not worried,
but I think Isaac might be.
What if we went in together?
Yep! That way me and Isaac
can look after you if anything
You know.
[metal clanging]
[crows cawing]
[girl] Oi, new kids!
And so you think you're able
To survive this mess
By being a prince or a princess
You will soon see
There's no escaping tragedy
And even
If you put in heaps of effort
You're just wasting energy
'Cause your life as you know
It is ancient history
-[metal banging]
-[both gasp]
[all] I have suffered in this jail
I've been trapped inside
This cage for ages
This living 'ell
But if I try I can remember
Back before my life had ended
Before my happy days were over
Before I first heard
The pealing of the bell
Like you, I was curious
So innocent I asked
A thousand questions
But unless you want to suffer
Listen up and I will teach you
A thing or two
You listen here, my dear
You'll be punished so severely
If you step out of line
And if you cry it will be double
You should stay out of trouble
And remember to be extremely careful
Why?
Why?
Why? Did you hear what we said?
Just you wait for Phys-Ed
What's Phys-Ed?
Physical Education.
[all] The Trunchbull speciality.
Who are you?
We're prefects.
We're here to take you to class.
So we're going to start learning?
Oh, you'll start learning, all right.
Great, I already know the alphabet.
You don't know the alphabet
until we learn you the alphabet.
And so you think you're able
To survive this mess
By being a prince or a princess
You will soon see
There's no escaping tragedy
And even
If you put in heaps of effort
You're just wasting energy
'Cause your life as you know it
Is ancient history
I have suffered in this jail
I've been trapped
Inside this cage for ages
This living 'ell
But if I try I can remember
Back before my life had ended
Before my happy days were over
Before I first heard
The pealing of the bell
[class bell ringing]
Like you I was curious
So innocent
I asked a thousand questions
But unless you want to suffer
Listen up and I will
Teach you a thing or two
You listen here, my dear
You'll be punished so severely
If you step out of line
And if you cry it will be double
You should stay out of trouble
And remember to be extremely careful
Why?
Why?
Why?
Didn't you hear what we said?
[Agatha over PA] I have become aware
that some of you are not yet in class.
Correct this.
You have five seconds to comply.
A-B-C-D-E-F-G
-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O
-[Agatha] Five.
P-Q-R-S
-T-U-V-W-X
-[Agatha] Four.
-Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
-[Agatha] Three.
-[Agatha] Two.
-Lavender, Matilda, inside quick.
-One.
-Just you wait for Phys-Ed
Hmm
Yes, uh, Miss Trunchbull
is keen on punctuality.
Best not to be late.
Now, come and meet your new friends.
This is Lavender and Matilda.
And if there's anything too difficult,
just ask a classmate.
They'll help you. All right?
-Miss!
-Hm?
It's hurting my head.
Oh, no, Nigel, that's not for you.
They use this classroom
for grown-up lessons at night.
They must have left it up there.
[whimpering]
Nigel. Nigel. Nigel.
Nigel.
[whispering] Relax.
Well done.
Now, who would like to
polish off what's on the board?
-Oh, me!
-Miss Honey, me!
Matilda.
How about you?
So today is reading.
[kids chattering excitedly]
Now, this book
is actually for nine-year-olds
but you're all doing so well
that I thought we'd give this a try.
I'd like you all
to read the first chapter.
-Eric, what is a chapter?
-It's a chunk of a story, Miss.
Absolutely perfect, Eric.
What I'm hoping is
that you can all read the first chunk,
then we'll discuss how
Matilda, what are you doing?
Well, I'm polishing it off.
Like you said.
Oh No, I meant polish it off.
Is that correct?
[Matilda] Well, yeah.
And then I thought
I may as well do the rest.
The rest?
You know, the prime numbers.
Where X is the square of AB reoccur.
So I realized they must have done it
knowing it was part of a sequence.
Is maths your favorite thing?
It's okay.
But what I really like is reading.
It's like a holiday in your head.
And do you do that a lot?
Get away from everything.
In books, I mean.
Oh, yeah, I read loads this week.
Loads. In one week?
So, which books did you read this week?
Nicholas Nickleby, Jane Eyre,
Tess of the D'Urbervilles,
Of Mice and Men,
The Lord of the Rings,
Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment,
and
The Cat in the Hat.
[children chattering]
[sighs deeply]
Don't be pathetic.
[exhales shakily]
-Enter.
-[door opens]
[Agatha] Don't just stand there
like a wet tissue, get on with it.
Yes, yes, sorry.
[hesitantly]
So, Miss Trunchbull, there is
in my class, a girl
called Matilda Wormwood and--
[Agatha] Matilda Wormwood,
daughter of Mr. Harry Wormwood.
Excellent man.
He warned me about the brat though.
Said she's a real wart.
No, Headmistress, I don't think--
No. No, you do not.
What is the school motto, Miss Honey?
Bambinatum est Maggitum.
Bambinatum est Maggitum.
"Children are maggots."
Thank you for bringing this one
to my attention.
I shall destroy it in due course.
Good day.
[nervously] Miss Trunchbull, it is my
belief that Matilda Wormwood is a genius.
What? No. No.
Haven't I just told you?
She is a gangster.
She can do maths in her head
that I couldn't do with a calculator.
And the books she's read.
It is my opinion that she should be placed
in the top form with the 11-year-olds.
Immediately.
But what about the rules, Honey?
I believe that Matilda Wormwood is
an exception to the rules.
An exception?
To the rules?
In my school?
I-- I--
Look at my trophies
See how my trophies
Gleam in the sunlight
See how they shine
What do you think it took to become
English Hammer-Throwing Champion
1959
Do you think in that moment
When my big moment came
That I treated the rules
With casual disdain
Well? Like hell!
As I stepped up to the circle
Did I change my plan?
Hmm? What?
As I chalked up my palms
Did I wave my hands?
I did not
As I started my spin
Did I look at the view?
Did I drift off and dream
For a minute or two?
Do you think I faltered
Or amended my rotation?
Do you think I altered
My intended elevation?
As the hammer took off
Did I change my grunt
From the grunt I had practiced
For many a month?
Not a jot nor a dot
Did I stray from the plot
Not a detail of my throw
Was adjusted or forgotten
Not even when the hammer left my hands
And sailed high up
Up above the stands
Did I let myself go?
No, no, no
No, no, no, no, no
[announcer, faintly over PA]
She's done it! She is the best!
[music playing over PA system]
If you want to throw the hammer
For your country
You have to stay inside
The circle all the time
If you want to make the team
You don't need happiness or self-esteem
You just need to keep your feet
Inside the line
Sing, children.
Two, three, four.
[children] If you want
To throw the hammer
-For your country
-Bambinatum est Maggitum
You have to stay inside the circle
All the time
Maggitum, Maggitum
And if you want to teach success
You don't use sympathy or tenderness
Tenderness
You have to force the little squits
To toe the line
Sing, Jenny!
If you want to throw the hammer
-For your country
-Bambinatum est Maggitum
You have to stay inside the circle
All the time
Maggitum, Maggitum
Circulum est
Deus, Deus
Gloria
[blowing whistle]
I apply just one simple rule
To hammer-throwing, life and school
Life's a ball so learn to throw it
Find the bally line and toe it
And always keep your feet
Inside the line
Now get out.
[spluttering]
[whispering] Wormwood.
Wormwood.
Where are you?
Do you want to hear
about my first day at school?
-Yuck. I'd rather eat vegetables.
-[door opens, shuts]
It's official, I'm a genius!
My losing streak is over.
This fella comes into the lot.
Huge he was.
Great big bear of a man.
And this bear of a man wants a luxury car.
Oh, lovely. But do bears drive?
No. He's not a real bear.
Do you have a luxury car?
-I've got two, boy.
-I'm a girl.
One with a smashed-in front,
and one with a smashed-in back.
All I gotta do is cut them in half,
glue them together
and Bob's your chipmunk.
Daddy's back.
But isn't that illegal?
And sort of, well, wrong?
-[exclaiming]
-What'd he say? Wrong?
Wrong?
Give me that.
The Grapes of-- Idiot!
How can grapes be angry?
Hey? What utter junk!
It's not about grapes.
Back-yakking! The little madam!
I'm not back-yakking!
Don't you back-yak me!
I'll rip this book up in front of you.
-No, it's a library book!
-Go on, do it.
-[gasps]
-[Harry grunting]
Go on.
There!
[Harry straining]
-There!
-[gasps]
Now get to bed, you little bookworm.
Just because you find
That life's not fair
It doesn't mean that you just have to
Grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin
And wear it
Nothing will change
[alarm ringing]
Even if you're little you can do a lot
You mustn't let a little thing
Like "little" stop you
If you sit around
And let them get on top
You might as well be saying
You think that it's okay
And that's not right
But remember Matilda,
two wrongs don't make a right.
[Harry] Ah, twit face.
[mocking] "It's a library book.
It's a library book."
Gripy little gremlin.
Where's my hat?
Here it is, Dad.
Big stupid.
[children yelling,
chattering indistinctly]
But how do they all fit in there?
Her head's the same size as mine.
Does it hurt, Matilda?
Having all those brains squished in there?
No. They seem to just
fit in.
Can you do telekenipsis?
It's where you have loads of brains.
They squish out through your eyes,
and you can move things with your mind.
Look, watch this.
[grunting lightly]
It's not good to try to be clever.
Not here.
The Trunchbull hates kids being smart.
She hates it.
Isn't learning what school's for?
This isn't a school. It's a prison.
You don't want to get noticed.
Not by Agatha.
They say she turned one kid inside out.
He had to walk around
in cling film to keep his organs in.
That didn't really happen, Bruce.
But she definitely sat on a year seven
until he was jelly.
She caught Julius Rottwinkle
eating a licorice allsort in class.
She picked him up, swung him around
and chucked him out of the window.
Look.
Teachers don't really throw children.
The big kids are just trying to scare you.
[girl] Scare, is it?
You don't know scared until
you've been in Chokey.
What's Chokey?
There's a place you are sent
If you haven't been good
And it's made of spikes and wood
And it isn't wide enough to sit
And even if you could
There are nails on the bottom
So you'll wish you'd stood
When the hinges creak
And the door is closed
You cannot see squat
Not the end of your nose
And when you scream
You don't know if the sound came out
Or if the scream in your head
Even reached your mouth
[Nigel] Hide me!
Someone poured a can of treacle
on The Trunchbull's chair.
She thinks I did, but I never!
Her knickers stuck to the seat.
[all laughing]
[girl] Silence!
You're going to Chokey, kid.
But that's not right!
He didn't do anything.
Take it from me. The boy's doomed.
Matilda, please help me.
Why not just tell her that
Okay.
Look, when did this happen?
About 20 minutes ago.
But why?
[whistle blowing]
You'd better hide. Quick, blazers!
-[whistle continues blowing]
-Please don't tell her where I am!
[boy] Run, run!
Hurry up!
[hushed chattering]
-[whistle continue blowing]
-[Lavender squeaking]
-Be still, child!
-[gasps]
What a repellent parade
of imps and hobgoblins,
chitter-chattering away.
Where's the maggot known as Nigel?
[muffled fart]
Over there, under those blazers.
[quiet gasps, groans]
Where he's been for the last hour!
What?
Yeah.
You see, Nigel suffers from a rare
but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy.
The condition is characterized
by the sufferer
experiencing bouts of fatigue
and falling asleep without any warning.
He fell asleep and we put him
in the blazers for safety.
Didn't we?
Didn't we?
-[children agreeing enthusiastically]
-[Nigel yawning]
I had the strangest dream, Mum.
I thought I was
Oh.
Hello, Miss Trunchbull.
[tone chiming on PA system]
[amplified] Amanda Thripp.
[crows cawing]
Y-- y-- yes, Miss Trunchbull?
What have I said about pigtails?
I hate pigtails.
But my mummy likes them.
She says they make me look pretty.
Well, your mother is a twit!
[sports announcer faintly over PA]
And here she goes!
-Look at that spin!
-[Agatha grunting]
[announcer] Oh, my word!
[children gasping]
[announcer] That's far! That's very
and we're there!
[Agatha] Yes! Still got it.
Check and see if that child
is still alive, will you?
[clears throat]
And what is your name?
Matilda.
Matilda Wormwood.
Oh! You're Wormwood, are you?
I like troublemakers, Wormwood.
They make such a lovely sound
when they snap.
[boy] She's alive!
-[boy 2] Hip, hip!
-[children] Hooray!
-Hip, hip!
-Hooray!
-Hip, hip!
-Hooray!
[all cheering]
[Agatha over PA] Remember, Wormwood,
you can never win.
I promise you that.
And a promise is a promise is a promise.
[Matilda] And so the great day arrived.
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught by the Man Locked in the Cage.
It was like the entire world
had gathered to see the acrobat
and the escapologist's incredible
death-defying feat.
[plane flying overhead]
[crowd murmuring, chattering indistinctly]
[laughing]
[band playing upbeat music]
[women laughing]
Everything was arranged by
the acrobat's evil stepsister.
A frightening woman who used to be
an Olympic class hammer thrower.
People whispered that in her dark
and brooding heart,
she resented her stepsister's
success and love.
[cymbal crashes]
Suddenly
out came the escapologist,
but there was no sign of the acrobat,
and no glimpse at all
of the shiny white scarf she always wore.
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught by the Man Locked in the Cage
has been canceled!
[all groaning]
Canceled because my wife is
pregnant!
-[all gasping]
-Oh, Matilda.
[Matilda] Absolute silence.
You could have heard a fly burp.
-Then suddenly, the audience
-[child] Hip, hip!
jumped to its feet
and roared in appreciation!
[band playing fanfare]
[yapping]
-The great feat was instantly forgotten.
-[laughing]
And the applause went on for over an hour!
Oh, Matilda, that's wonderful!
I love stories that end happily.
Forgotten by everyone
except the acrobat's evil stepsister.
When all had quietened down
she produced a contract!
-[Mrs. Phelps] A contract?
-[feedback squealing]
[over PA] A contract you have signed
to perform this feat.
-And perform this feat, you shall!
-No.
[Matilda and Agatha]
I've paid for the posters, publicity,
the catering, the toilet facilities.
If I give the crowd their money back,
where is my profit?
A contract is a contract is a contract.
My hands are tied.
The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air
With Dynamite in Her Hair
Over Sharks and Spiky Objects
Caught by The Man Locked in a Cage
will be performed,
and it will be performed this day!
Or off to prison you both shall go!
What what happened next?
I dunno.
What? How can you not know?
It just comes to me in fizzes.
Well, could you fizz up
a little bit more for me? Now.
I don't think it works like that.
Of course it doesn't.
-Where is this coming from, Matilda?
-What do you mean?
I mean, it's incredible.
But it's taking rather a dark turn.
Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more.
No, no, no. No.
We must find out how it ends.
All I'm saying is,
is everything all right?
You could tell me.
I'd better go, Mrs. Phelps, Mum's waiting.
She gets so upset when she's away from me.
She says every minute
is like an eternity so
Is she coming here? Can I meet her?
Bye, Mrs. Phelps!
Matilda, tomorrow I'm at the windmill.
Okay, I'll find you.
[the Wormwoods arguing faintly]
I've got it.
-Harry! Let me have it!
-[clattering]
-[Harry grunting loudly]
-[Mrs. Wormwood yells]
Hang on then.
[both straining]
-[Harry] You're hurting me!
-Yeah. Hold on, hold on.
Let me pull, Harry.
Pull then!
[children chattering]
Matilda.
I believe your mind is extraordinary.
So I'm taking things into my own hands.
Starting tomorrow,
I'm going to bring in a selection
of very clever books.
You can sit and read them
while I teach the others,
and if you have any questions, well
I shall do my best to answer them.
How does that sound?
[gasps, chuckles]
Matilda
That is the biggest hug in the world.
You're going to hug all the air out of me.
[Agatha, over PA]
What a touching little scene.
Move!
I believe I said this maggot
was to receive no special treatment.
In fact, I seem to recall informing you
that this particular snot-ball
was evil incarnate, did I not?
No, Miss Trunchbull, Matilda is not--
Did you just say "no," Jenny?
To me?
Matilda Wormwood is a criminal.
[over PA] This morning,
a piece of my private
chocolate cake was stolen.
It is my contention that you performed
this vileness, Wormwood, you.
You have two choices,
admit your guilt and be punished,
or call me a liar and be punished.
Think very carefully
about what comes out
of your mouth, Wormwood.
I did not stea--
[loud, prolonged belch]
[gasps]
[gasping]
Chocolate.
Bruce Bogtrotter.
[timidly] Yes, Miss Trunchbull?
Thank you, Maurice, that will be all.
[grunting]
Staff dismissed. Come on.
Everybody out. Everybody out, come on.
[Agatha] Move!
You liked my cake
didn't you, Bruce?
Yes, Miss Trunchbull,
it was very delicious.
So chocolatey.
And I'm really very sorry, I--
No, no
Just so long as you enjoyed the cake.
That's the main thing.
Is it?
[singsong] Oh, Cook.
[cook coughs]
Be still!
What's the matter, Bogtrotter?
Lost your appetite?
Don't worry all you have to do
is eat every last crumb.
And if you perform this incredible feat,
I promise you,
all will be forgiven.
[hesitating] Every crumb?
-But I'm full.
-Oh, no, you're not full.
I'll tell you when you're full.
And I say that criminals like you
aren't full until they've
eaten the entire cake.
-But--
-You haven't got time for "buts." Eat.
But I can't eat it all.
Headmistress, he'll be sick.
He should have thought of that
before he made a pact with Satan
and decided to steal my cake.
-Eat.
-[children, whispering] He can't!
-Eat.
-He surely can't!
-Eat!
-He might explode!
Eat!
A single slice
Or even two, Bruce
Might have been nice
But even you, Bruce
Have to admit
Between you and it
There's not a lot
Of difference in size
He can't, he can!
He surely can't, he surely can't!
You are the man, Bruce!
He might explode!
He's quite elastic
He's going to blow! Make him stop!
He's fantastic, look at him go!
I can't watch!
I think in effect
This must confirm, Bruce
What we all suspected
You have a worm, Bruce
Or maybe your largeness
Is a bit like the Tardis
Considerably roomier inside
He can't! He can!
He surely can't! He surely can't!
You are the man, Bruce!
B-R-O-O-C-E
Bruce!
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose
She'll call a truce, Bruce
With every swallow you are
Tightening the noose
We never thought it was possible
But here it is coming true
We can have our cake and eat it too
The time has come
To put that tumbly tum to use
No excuse, Bruce
Let out your belt
I think you'll want your trousers loose
Ooooh, stuff it in!
-Bruce!
-You've almost finished
-Bruce!
-You'll fit it in
Whatever you do just don't give in
-Bruce!
-Don't let her win!
Come on, Bruce, be our hero
Cover yourself in chocolate glory
Bruce!
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose
She'll call a truce, Bruce!
Just one more bite and you'll've
Completely cooked 'er goose
We never thought it was possible
But here it is coming true
We can have our cake and eat it
Go on, Brucie! [cheering loudly]
Uh uh
[hesitating] Sorry, Miss Trunchbull, I
[clears throat] got carried away.
[Agatha] Oh, that's okay, Jenny.
We all get carried away sometimes.
Even me.
Well, come along, Bogtrotter.
-What?
-Oh, did I not mention?
That was the first part
of your punishment, there's more.
There's a second part,
and the second part is Chokey.
Miss Trunchbull, please, you can't!
He's too young.
But I ate it all. I did it. Please!
Not that. Please!
-No!
-[children gasping]
You said if he ate
every crumb he'd be forgiven.
He ate every crumb. We all saw it!
He did it in front of everyone!
You can't just change the rules.
That's not right. It's cheating!
You just said
"No."
To me.
[breath shaking]
-Come on, Bogtrotter.
-Please!
(off) -Come on!
-No!
Wormwood will be dealt with in due course.
As will the rest of these maggots.
[Bruce] I ate it. I ate it all.
No, please, Miss Trunchbull!
Not the Chokey!
I ate every crumb.
Please!
Not the Chokey! Please, not the Chokey!
[Agatha, over PA]
You see, children, I will always win.
And you will always lose.
Because you are weak, tiny, titchy
and insignificant.
[children chattering, indistinct]
When I grow up
I will be tall enough
To reach the branches
That I need to reach
To climb the trees
You get to climb when you're grown up
And when I grow up
I will be smart enough to answer all
The questions that you need to know
The answers to before you're grown up
And when I grow up
I will eat sweets every day
On the way to work and I
Will go to bed late every night
And I will wake up
When the sun comes up and I
Will watch cartoons
Until my eyes go square
And I won't care
'Cause I'll be all grown up
When I grow up
[motorcycle engine revving]
When I grow up
-When I grow up
-When I grow up
I will be strong enough to carry all
The heavy things you have to haul
Around with you when you're a grown up
And when I grow up
-When I grow up
-When I grow up
I will be brave enough
To fight the creatures
That you have to fight beneath the bed
Each night to be a grown up
And when I grow up
I will have treats every day
And I'll play with things
That Mum pretends
That mums don't think are fun
And I will wake up
When the sun comes up and I
Will spend all day
Just lying in the sun
And I won't burn
'Cause I'll be all grown up
When I grow up
When I grow up
I will be brave enough
To fight the creatures
That you have to fight beneath the bed
Each night to be a grown up
When I grow up
Just because you find
That life's not fair
It doesn't mean that you just have to
Grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin
And wear it
Nothing will change
[Miss Honey] When I grow up
[Matilda] Just because I find myself
In this story
It doesn't mean that everything
Is written for me
If I think the ending is fixed already
I might as well be saying
I think that it's okay
Mrs. Phelps! Where's the revenge section?
Well, we don't have a revenge section.
Is it a bully?
'Cause you know the best way
to deal with bullies is tell someone.
Straight away. They thrive on silence.
Tell a teacher.
Or better still, the headmistress.
I think I've got the next part
of the story.
But I shall warn you,
it's about to get real.
[crowd gasping]
[Matilda] Slowly, the acrobat
tied her shiny white scarf
around her husband's wrist.
For luck, my love.
[Matilda] Then she hugged him
with the biggest hug in the world.
So hard that he felt that
she could hug all the air out of him.
[roaring]
[Matilda] And so they prepared themselves
for the most dangerous feat
that had ever been performed.
[band playing suspenseful music]
The great escapologist had to somehow
escape from the padlocks,
break free from the cage, and attempt
to rescue his wife within 12 seconds.
Or she would be blown to bits!
[breathing heavily]
[Matilda] The moment the fuse was lit,
the acrobat swung into the air.
-One second, two seconds
-[grunting]
the crowd held their breath
as she swung higher and higher
above the sharks and spiky objects!
Three seconds, four seconds.
The evil sister looked on gleefully.
-Five seconds, six seconds.
-[grunting loudly]
The escapologist
couldn't take his eyes from his wife
as he struggled in his chains,
knowing that the tiniest, weeniest mistake
would mean that he'd lose her
and their child forever.
Seven seconds, and suddenly
-[yells loudly]
-[Matilda] She let go!
The escapologist reached out
with one huge, massive arm
to catch his wife and the child.
-[acrobat gasps]
-[grunts]
-[Matilda] Eight seconds!
-No, I can't look.
Nine seconds! Ten seconds! And
And And Eleven seconds!
He grabbed the dynamite
and flung it far, far away!
Hurray! So this story does
have a happy ending after all.
No.
No, it doesn't.
[crowd gasping]
[acrobat exclaims]
No! Was she okay? Did she survive?
She broke every bone in her body.
Except the ones at the ends
of her little fingers.
She did manage to live long enough
to have their child.
[baby fussing]
But the effort was too great.
Love our girl.
Love our daughter with all your heart.
She is all we ever wanted.
[crying softly]
And then she died.
And then
things got worse.
What? Worse?
I'm afraid they did.
Because the escapologist was so kind
that he never for one second blamed
the evil stepsister for what happened.
In fact, he asked her to move in
and help look after his daughter.
[Mrs. Phelps] No, no,
don't ask her to move in.
She was nothing but cruel
to the little girl,
making her wash and clean
all day long. Shouting,
[Matilda and stepsister]
"Clean the floor and I'll be nice!"
When the little girl did clean it,
she was even crueler
because she was
a terrible, terrible cheat!
I hate cheats!
All in secret, so the escapologist
never suspected a thing.
And so the poor little girl grew up
with the meanest, cruelest,
horriblest aunt
you could possibly imagine!
Let's call the police! [panting]
Mrs. Phelps.
It's just a story.
What?
Oh. Yes, of course.
A story.
It's just, you make it so real.
[relieved laugh] Your mind, Matilda.
Your parents must think they've won
the lottery with a child like you.
Oh they do.
They're always saying that.
In fact, they say,
"We're so proud of you, Matilda,
you're like winning the"
Yeah. I'd better go.
[shrieking]
It's just like winning the lottery!
What?
Me?
You? No, you're like
eating someone else's bogeys.
Like winning a snottery, you, boy.
I'm a girl.
But how, Harry?
Remember that big, muscly idiot?
Turns out he had a whole lot
of muscly mates.
Bucketloads of cash.
Everyone wanting a luxury car.
All I had was a load of old bangers,
each with 100,000 miles on the clock.
So, I did what any decent
business leader would.
What?
I bought a drill.
Attached it to the speedometer
and whacked it in reverse.
I put back the mileage
on every one of those cars
and sold them to those big,
muscly idiots, resulting in
Money!
But you cheated them!
Excuse me?
You cheated them.
What you did, it wasn't right.
You're just a cheat!
Oh, the little pig!
It's the books, Harry.
It's the books and the stories.
Is it now?
Books, is it?
You know what I'm going to do tomorrow?
I'm going to go down to that library,
I'm going to tell that old bag
to never let you in again.
What?
Always sticking your nose in
where it don't belong.
You nasty little creep!
[gasping]
That night, the escapologist's daughter
cried herself to sleep.
She never said a word
about the evil step-aunt's bullying.
She didn't want to add
to her father's pain.
This only encouraged the woman
to greater cruelties,
until one day she exploded.
[Agatha and Matilda] Sticking your
nose in where it doesn't belong!
You nasty little creep!
And she threw her
threw her into a dank,
dark, dusty cellar,
locked the door and went out.
[car approaching]
But that night, the escapologist
happened to come home early.
And when he heard the sound
of his daughter's tears,
-he smashed the door open.
-[yelling]
[escapologist] Don't cry
I am here, little girl
Please don't cry
Dry your eyes
Wipe away your tears, little girl
Forgive me
I didn't mean to desert you
Don't cry, little girl
Nothing can hurt you
You've nothing to fear
I'm here
[thunder rumbling]
[both] Have I been
so wrapped up in my grief
that I've forgotten the thing
that matters most?
I love you so much, my daughter.
I shall spend the rest of my life
making it up to you.
Don't cry, Daddy
I'm all right, Daddy
Please don't cry
Here, let me wipe away your tears
Forgive me
Daddy, forgive me
I didn't mean to desert you
I didn't want to upset you
-Please, Daddy, don't cry
-Don't cry, little girl
-I'll be all right with you by my side
-Nothing will hurt you
-I have nothing to fear
-You've nothing to fear
-You're here
-I'm here
[Matilda] But when the little girl slept,
the escapologist's thoughts
turned to the evil stepsister
and a mighty rage
grew inside his great heart!
This demon, this monster.
Bullying children is her game, is it?
[Matilda] And as the unfairness
of the aunt's cruelty
spun around inside him,
it swirled and whirled
into a great storm of fury
that his mind could no longer contain.
And that was the last
the little girl ever saw of him.
Because he never came home, ever again.
-[metal creaking]
-[light gasp]
[Eric] Can you do telekenipsis?
It's where you have loads of brains.
They squish out through your eyes
and you can move things with your mind.
[crows cawing]
[indistinct chatter]
Matilda. This is for you.
Thank you.
[whispering] Matilda, here you are.
[children chattering in hushed tones]
Isn't it a splendid day, old pal?
-Lavender, what is going on?
-You, you're a hero.
Here, Matilda.
Egg and cress, Stephanie? Really!
A hero?
Yes. You're leading a revolution.
-What revolution?
-You said "no" to The Trunchbull.
See, no one's done that before.
[Lavender] You're leading a revolution.
You said "no" to The Trunchbull.
No one's done that before.
-[laughter]
-[all playing chaotic music]
Ready for a little fun?
[all] Yeah!
-Fun?
-[cheering ceases]
Did you say "fun"?
[snaps fingers]
[Agatha] It is not our job
to make things fun.
We are not here to encourage or nurture.
We are here to crush them until
the wriggling stops.
Well, I I don't actually
believe that that the--
D-d-d-do you, Jenny?
D-d-d-do you think anyone c-c-c-cares?
This class is full of rebels,
and they need a real lesson.
Bring your gym gear
and change on the way.
You see, Jenny,
to teach the child, we must first break
the child.
This school of late
Has started reeking
Quiet maggot, when I'm speaking!
Reeking with a most disturbing scent
Only the finest nostrils smell it
-But I know it oh, too well
-[boy yelps]
It is the odor of rebellion
It's the bouquet of dissent
And you may bet your britches
This headmistress
Finds this foul odifer-ous-ness
Wholly olfactorily insulting
And so to stop the stench's spread
I find a session of Phys-Ed
Sorts the merely rank
From the revolting
Come along, squits.
I'll take it from here, Jenny!
The smell of rebellion
Comes out in the sweat
And Phys-Ed will get you sweating
And it won't be long
Before I smell the pong
Of aiding and abetting
Before a weed becomes
Too big and greedy
You really need to nip it in the bud
Before the worm starts to turn
-[yells]
-You must scrape off the dirt
And rip it from the mud
A whiff of insurgence
The stench of intent
The reek of prepubescent protest
A pong of defiance
The odor of coup
-The waft of anarchy in progress
-[grunts]
Once we've exercised these demons
They shall be too pooped for scheming
Some double-time discipline
Should stop the rot from setting in
Discipline, discipline
For children who aren't listening
For fiddlers who are fidgeting
And whispering in history
Their chattering and chittering
Their nattering and twittering
Is tempered with a smattering
Of discipline
We must begin insisting
On rigidity and discipline
Persistently resisting
This anarchistic mischiefin'
These minutes you are fritterin'
On pandering and pitying
While little-uns like this
They just need discipline!
The simpering and whimpering
The dribbling and the squiggling
The "Miss, I need a tissue"
It's an issue we can fix
There is no mystery to mastering
The art of classroom mistressing
It's discipline
Discipline, discipline!
The smell of rebellion
The stench of revolt
The reek of prepubescent plotting
A whiff of resistance
The pong of dissent
The stink of moral fiber rotting
[announcer, faintly over PA]
What a champion!
Agatha Trunchbull, has done it again!
What an athlete, what a winner!
Imagine a world with no children
Close your eyes and just dream
Imagine, go on, try it
The peace and the quiet
-A burbling stream
-[whinnying]
Now imagine a woods with a cottage
And inside that cottage we find
A parrot called Zeek
A carnival freak
Who can fold paper hats with his mind
And he says
Don't let them steal your horses
Don't let them take them away
If you find your way through
They'll be waiting for you
Singing neigh
Neigh
Neigh
Neigh
She's mad.
Aha!
And there, just like I said
The stinky maggot rears his head
Have you ever seen
Anything more repellent
Have you ever smelt
Anything worse than
That smell of rebellion?
The scent of revolt
The reek of insubordination
A whiff of resistance
The pong of dissent
And I will not stop
'Til you are squashed
'Til this rebellion is quashed
'Til glorious sweaty discipline
Has washed
This sickening stench
Away!
[panting heavily]
[Miss Honey] Right. Let's get you out.
[Nigel gasping]
This isn't teaching!
This is cruelty.
Cruelty? Well, yes. Of course.
-Go on, boy.
-[splashes]
You did say it was going to be fun.
But-- but this isn't fun!
Miss Honey, you are pathetic!
You are weak
You are wet.
You are, in fact
[slurping, swallows]
a sniveling little
newt.
[shrieking]
[continues shrieking]
You!
No. What? Me?
No, no, I didn't. I didn't. No!
[yelling]
Don't you pull his ears off.
I have discovered, Miss Honey,
through years of experimentation,
that the ears of small boys
do not come off!
-[yelling]
-They stretch.
[Eric yelling in pain]
-[gasping]
-Please! [yelling]
Leave him alone!
You stupid, horrible, bully!
-[ears snap into place]
-[thunder rumbling]
How dare you.
You are not fit to be in this school.
You are evil.
I shall crush you. I shall pound you.
I shall dissect you, madam.
Have you ever wondered
Well I have
About how when I say
Say "red," for example
There's no way of knowing if "red"
Means the same thing in your head
As "red" means in my head
When someone says "red"
And how if we are travelling
At almost the speed of light
And we're holding a light
That light would still
Travel away from us
At the full speed of light
Which seems right in a way
But I'm trying to say
I'm not sure
But I wonder if inside my head
I'm not just a bit different
From some of my friends
These answers that come
Into my mind unbidden
These stories delivered to me
Fully written
And when everyone shouts
Like they seem to like shouting
The noise in my head
Is incredibly loud
And I just wish they'd stop
My dad and my mum
And the telly and stories
Would stop for just once
And, I'm sorry
I'm not quite explaining it right
But this noise becomes anger
And the anger is light
And this burning inside me
Would usually fade
But it isn't today
And the heat and the shouting
And my heart is pounding
And my eyes are burning
And suddenly everything
Everything is
Quiet
Like silence, but not really silent
Just that still sort of quiet
Like the sound of a page
Being turned in a book
Or a pause in a walk in the woods
Quiet
Like silence, but not really silent
Just that nice kind of quiet
Like the sound when you lie
Upside down in your bed
Just the sound of your heart
In your head
And though the people around me
-Are you listening, you revolting little--
-Their mouths are still moving
-You idiot! You revolting--
-The words they are forming
Cannot reach me anymore
And it is quiet
And I am warm
Like I've sailed
you revolting little bloodworm.
Into the eye of the storm
[Agatha continues, indistinct]
This is the end of your rebellion.
You have leapt through the gates of Hades.
Do you hear? I am going to tear you apart.
horrible, repellent, disgusting,
nauseating
Who did that?
A-are you all right, Miss Trunchbull?
Oh! [gasping] Oh
Oh, oh, oh.
[yelping]
[exclaiming] Oh God, the newt!
It's-- it's-- it's in my--
it's in my knickers!
[exclaiming] It's in my knickers!
I've got a newt in my knickers!
Okay. That was odd.
[thunder rumbling faintly]
Right. Everyone, back to class.
And please, please keep your heads down
for the rest of the day.
Matilda.
I need to show you something.
Watch, Miss Honey.
Matilda, if Miss Trunchbull sees--
Just watch. Please.
-I-I think we should go, before--
-Wait.
[gasps]
I moved it with my eyes.
Am I strange?
How do you fancy a nice cup of tea?
[thunder rumbling]
[Miss Honey] Oh, no, no, no.
Not that way. This way.
[Matilda] What do you think it is?
This thing with my eyes.
[Miss Honey] Well, what did it feel like?
[Matilda] Felt like fizzing.
Fizzing.
But not bad fizzing, good fizzing.
Good fizzing.
Good fizzing. Hm
Okay, let's see.
I'm no expert because I'm not sure
there are experts in fizzing,
but I think it has something to do
with that incredible mind of yours.
You mean, there's no room in my head
for all my brains?
So they have to squish out
through my eyes?
Well, yes.
Yes, that's exactly what I mean.
Well, here we are.
[Matilda] Where are we?
Wow.
They pay teachers really badly.
-Well, actually, yes, they do.
-[lighting match]
But I'm poorer even than most.
You see, my father died when I was young.
Magnus was his name. He was so kind.
[sighing] But when he was gone,
my aunt became my legal guardian.
And she was cruel and mean
like you cannot even imagine.
Then when I became a teacher,
she presented me with a bill.
She'd written everything down.
Every teabag, every gas bill,
every tin of beans.
She made me sign a contract
to pay her back every single penny.
Really?
She even produced a document that said
that my father gave her his house.
But did he really do that, Magnus,
did he just give her his house?
Well, I've always felt it was
suspicious.
You see, she said his death
was an accident, but
You think she did him in!
Well, I cannot say for sure.
All I really know is that years of being
bullied by that woman made me, well
pathetic.
Then one day, I came across this old shed.
I fell in love with it.
I begged the farmer who owned it
to let me move in.
He thought I was mad, but
he said "yes," and
And that's why you live here.
This roof keeps me dry
When the rain falls
This door helps to keep
The cold at bay
On this floor I can stand
On my own two feet
On this chair I can write my lessons
On this pillow
I can dream my nights away
And this table, as you can see
Well, it's perfect for tea
It isn't much, but it is enough for me
It isn't much, but it is enough
But Miss Honey,
she's got your father's house.
She's got everything that's yours.
On these walls
I hang wonderful pictures
Through this window
I can watch the seasons change
By this lamp I can read
And I am set free
And when it's cold outside
I feel no fear
Even in the winter storms
I am warmed
By a small but stubborn fire
And there is nowhere I would rather be
It isn't much, but it is enough for me
For this is my house
This is my house
It isn't much, but it is enough for me
This is my house
This is my house
It isn't much, but it is enough
-Don't cry
-And when it's cold and bleak
-Please don't cry, I am here
-I feel no fear
[Magnus] Little girl
[Miss Honey]
Even in the fiercest storms
-Please don't cry
-I am warmed
-Let me wipe away your tears
-By a small but stubborn fire
-Forgive me, I didn't mean
-Even when outside it's freezing
-To desert you
-I don't pay much heed
-I know that I hurt you
-I know that everything I need
Is in here
[sniffling]
It isn't much, but it is enough for me
It isn't much, but it is enough
For me
Where did you get this scarf?
Oh, it was my father's.
Mum gave it to him before she died.
-She was an--
-An acrobat.
Uh, well, yes, she was. She
H-- How did you
-And my father was an esca--
-An escapologist.
Matilda, how do you know that?
So they were your parents.
What? Who?
The people in my story.
I thought I was making it up,
but it's real!
It's you, it's your life.
Miss Honey, who's your aunt?
Well, actually Matilda,
she's my step-aunt.
Miss Trunchbull!
A contract is a contract is a contract
is a contract!
Matilda.
Matilda, listen to me!
You must forget all this!
You need to be very careful.
Miss Trunchbull has been humiliated,
and she is capable of awful things.
I'm not scared of her.
You should be. She's dangerous.
So am I.
[loud boom]
[echoing, muffled boom]
"Rich," he said.
"Bears," he said.
Oh, "I'm a genius," he said.
What's going on?
Pack your bag, we're off to Spain.
Spain? Why?
Remember those big, stupid, muscly men
your idiot of a father
sold them old bangers to?
Come on, love
Turns out they was the flaming Mafia!
And not so stupid after all.
And they gave me 24 hours
to get them the money back.
Only somebody already spent it.
I'm getting some passports tomorrow.
So I'll pick you up from school.
What about Mrs. Phelps,
Lavender, Nigel, Amanda?
-What about Miss Honey?
-Forget 'em!
After tomorrow,
you're never gonna see 'em again!
[crying softly]
[Agatha, over PA] Yesterday an act
of vandalism took place in the woods.
Now you've seen the consequences.
You break my toys, I break yours.
Miss Honey's class, canteen, now.
Come along, children. It'll be fine.
Children
How can I be your headmistress
if I cannot chill you to the bone?
Mm?
If the small ones don't pee just a little
when I walk into the room,
well then I'm
failing as an educator.
So
Today we are going
to have a spelling test.
And any child who gets one
single answer wrong
goes to Chokey.
You can't do that!
Oh, really? Why?
Because of yesterday's little
[mimics explosion]
incident, you mean?
Well, here's a surprise Chokey.
[gasping]
-You!
-[gasps]
Spell, oh, let me see
"newt."
N-E-W-T. Newt.
What?
How do you know that?
Miss Honey taught us.
She's very good at teaching.
Nonsense!
Miss Honey's far too soft and peachy
to be good at anything!
You!
Spell the one thing you all are.
Spell "revolting."
Revolting. R-E-V-O-L-T
I-N-G. Revolting.
You're cheating, pigtails!
Of course she's not cheating!
She's simply spelling the word.
I just taught them with kindness
and patience and respect.
How dare you bring
those words into my classroom!
You. Snot-nose.
Stand and spell
"amchellakamanialseptricolistimosis."
But that's not even a word.
Spell it or go to Chokey.
And I should warn you,
it has silent letters.
A
M
C
H
E
L
L
A
[whispers] Oh, dear
-Oh
-K
I'm so sorry, it was a silent V.
-You're going to Chokey!
-[yelping]
Cat!
C-A-F. Cat.
I got it wrong, Miss.
You have to put me in Chokey, too.
-[Agatha] What?
-Dog. D-Y-P. Dog. And me.
Table. X-A-B-F-Y. And me.
Can't put us all in Chokey. Banana.
G-T-A-A-B-L
[children all shouting words and letters]
Stop this!
[shouting continues]
[children fall silent]
I've been busy!
A Chokey for each and every one of you!
[whimpering]
-Get down!
-[children shrieking]
And now our little test is over,
I can tell you that each
and every one of you has failed.
You see, there are winners and losers
in this world, children.
And I am a--
The chalk! Look, the chalk!
Huh?
[children reading] "Agatha
This is Magnus.
Give my Jenny
back her house."
Who's doing this? Who? Tell me now.
No one's doing it. It's a ghost!
[children reading] "Then leave."
Oh, no.
[children] "Or I will
get you
like you
got me!"
[yelling in anger]
You think me an idiot!
It's a cheap trick
just like Magnus used to do!
You can't hurt me.
I hurt you!
No!
No.
[chains rattling]
Oh!
It can't be Magnus. It can't.
[Agatha moaning]
Look! Matilda.
[exclaiming]
[yelling]
You see! I'm not going anywhere!
[moaning in terror]
Oh, no. Stop.
I say, what are you doing to my hair?
Pigtails! No!
[screaming] No!
I hate pigtails!
[yelling]
[over PA system]
Stop it now! I'm ordering you!
Let me down! Let me down!
Let me down!
[hollering]
[screaming]
[yelling]
[whimpering]
[yells]
[Miss Honey] It's over.
This is my school now.
Run.
[crows cawing]
[yelling in fear]
[sighs]
-[crows cawing]
-[exclaiming]
[cheering]
[alert chimes over PA system]
[Bruce] Whoa-oh-oh
Never again will she
Get the best of me
Never again
Will she take away my freedom
And we won't forget the day we fought
For the right to be
A little bit naughty
Never again will the Chokey door slam
Never again will I be bullied and
Never again will I doubt it when
My mummy says I'm a miracle
-[cheering]
-Yes!
[all] Never again
Will we live behind bars
Never again now that we know we are
Revolting children
Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs
Using revolting rhymes
We'll be revolting children
'Til our revolting's done
And we'll have The Trunchbull bolting
We're revolting
We are revolting children
Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs
Using revolting rhymes
We'll be revolting children
'Til our revolting's done
And we'll have The Trunchbull bolting
We're revolting
We will become a screaming horde!
Take out your hockey stick
And use it as a sword!
Never again will we be ignored
We'll find out
Where the chalk is stored
And draw rude pictures on the board
It's not insulting
We're revolting!
We can S-P-L how we like
If enough of us are wrong
Wrong is right!
Everyone! N-O-R-T-Y!
'Cause we're a little bit naughty!
You say we oughta stay inside the line
But if we disobey at the same time
There is nothing
That The Trunchbull can do
She can take her hammer and S-H-U
You mighta thought we were weak
But we're strong
Mighta thought we would break
But you're wrong
Because you finally pushed us too far
Now there's no going back 'cause we
-R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N
-Revolting times!
-We'll S-I-N-G
-Song!
-U-S-I-N-G
-Rhymes!
We'll be R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N-G
It is 2-L-8-4-U-E-R-E-vol-ting!
We are revolting children
Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs
Using revolting rhymes
We'll be revolting children
'Til our revolting's done
It is 2-L-8-4-U
4-U, 4-U, 4-U, 4-U
We are revolting children
Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs
Using revolting rhymes
We'll be revolting children
'Til our revolting's done
It is 2-L-8-4-U
We are revolting!
[all cheering]
[whistles loudly]
Come on!
We've got to go, boy.
We're going to be late!
She's a-- Sorry, go?
Spain. We're moving there.
We've got a plane to catch in 40 minutes.
Oi! Say your goodbyes now!
No, Matilda. You can't.
-No way.
-Don't leave us.
[children protesting]
It's not up to me.
[whispers] Thank you.
Come on.
Chop flaming chop.
Right. In you go.
Where do I go?
It can go in the back, Harry.
It's got them clingy fingers.
What, you can't just stick him
in the back.
Let Matilda stay here with me.
Mr. Wormwood,
I would love to take Matilda.
I beg your pardon?
If she'd like to stay with me, that is.
I would look after her with love
and respect and care and
I'd pay for everything.
Would you like that, Matilda?
-Hang on!
-Harry!
You want us to leave our daughter
here with you?
What did you just call me?
We are going to miss the plane!
Did you just call me your daughter?
If if that's what she wants.
Well? Is that what you want?
You want to
stay here with Miss Honey?
[whispers] Yes.
Yes, I yes, I do.
And you want to look after her?
I do. Yes.
We are a bit short of room.
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah.
Thank you.
[Harry whimpers]
Harry!
[laughing]
[Mrs. Wormwood] Please!
She did it. [laughing]
-Lovely, right.
-[door shuts]
-[boy] Hip, hip!
-[children] Hooray!
-Hip, hip!
-Hooray!
-Hip, hip!
-Hooray!
I was sure that I
Would never escape the story
I'd had written for me
I couldn't find a way out
I couldn't see beyond the clouds
That swirled around me
Then one day I opened my eyes
And looked up to find that the sky
Had turned blindingly blue
And right by my side there was you
Quietly taking your stand
And you were holding my hand
[Matilda] I believed that I
-[Miss Honey] I believed that I
-Would never be able to rely
-Would never find anybody else
-On anybody else
[chattering indistinctly]
[Matilda] And I was sure that I
-[Miss Honey] I was sure that I
-Would just have to learn to survive
-Would always be all by myself
-All by myself
[both cheering]
-And one day I opened my eyes
-And one day I opened my eyes
And looked up to find that the sky
-Had turned blindingly blue
-[Miss Honey] Blindingly blue
[both] And right by my side
There was you
Quietly taking a stand
[Matilda] And you were holding my hand
[Miss Honey] You were holding my hand
-[both] You were just there for me
-Careful. Left a bit. Left a bit.
-Perfect!
-Quietly taking a stand
Changing the end of my story for me
[children] You were there
As I battled my fears
I fell and you helped me to stand
-When the storm finally cleared
-You were there
You were still holding my hand
You were still holding my hand
-You kicked down the doors for me
-Kicked down the doors for me
-You helped me understand
-You helped me understand
There was another version of me
You were still holding my hand
-You were just there for me
-I only wish
Quietly taking a stand
Changing the end of my story for me
You were still holding my hand
You were just there for me
Quietly taking a stand
Changing the end of my story for me
[inaudible]
[starlings chirping]
[both] You were still holding
My hand
-When I grow up, when I grow up
-When I grow up
I will be tall enough
To reach the branches
That I need to reach
To climb the trees
You get to climb when you're grown up
And when I grow up
-When I grow up
-When I grow up
I will be smart enough to answer all
The questions that you need to know
The answers to before you're grown up
-And when I grow up
-When I grow up
I will have treats every day
And I'll play with things
That Mum pretends
That mums don't think are fun
-And I will wake up
-I will wake up
When the sun comes up and I
Will spend all day
Just lying in the sun
But I won't care, and I won't burn
'Cause I'll be all grown-up
I will have treats every day
And I'll play with things
That Mum pretends
That mums don't think are fun
And I will wake up
When the sun comes up and I
Will spend all day
Just lying in the sun
But I won't burn
'Cause I'll be all grown-up
When I grow up