Robin Hood (1973) Movie Script

You know, there's been a heap of legends
and tall tales about Robin Hood.
All different too.
Well, we folks of the animal kingdom
have our own version.
It's the story of what really happened
in Sherwood Forest.
Oh, incidentally,
I'm Allan-A-Dale, a minstrel.
That's an early-day folk singer.
And my job is to tell it like it is
or was or whatever.
Robin Hood and LittleJohn
walkin'through the forest
Laughin'back and forth
at what the other one has to say
Reminiscin'this and that
and havin'such a good time
Oo- de-lally, oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day
Never ever thinkin'there was danger
in the water they were drinkin'
They just guzzled it down
Never dreamin'
that a schemin'sheriff and his posse
Was a-watchin'them
and gatherin'around
Robin Hood and LittleJohn
runnin'through the forest
Jumpin'fences, dodgin'trees
and tryin'to get away
Contemplatin'nothin'but escape
and finally makin'it
Oo- de-lally, oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day
Oo- de-lally, oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day
You know somethin', Robin?
You're takin' too many chances.
Chances? You must be joking.
That was just a bit
of a lark, Little John.
Yeah? Take a look at your hat.
That's not a candle on a cake.
Hello. This one almost
had my name on it, didn't it?
They're getting better,
you know.
You've got to admit it.
They are getting better.
Uh, yeah. The next time that sheriff'll
probably have a rope around our necks.
Pretty hard to laugh
hangin' there, Rob.
Ha! The sheriff and his whole posse
couldn't lift you off the ground.
On guard!
Hey, watch it, Rob.
That's the only hat I've got.
Oh, come along.
You worry too much, old boy.
You know somethin', Robin,
I was just wonderin'?
Are we good guys or bad guys?
You know, I mean, uh...
Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.
Rob? That's a naughty word.
We never rob.
We just sort of borrow a bit
from those who can afford it.
"Borrow"?
Huh. Boy, are we in debt.
That sounds like another collection day
for the poor, eh, Johnny boy?
Yeah. Sweet charity.
Taxes!
Taxes! Beautiful, lovely taxes!
S-Sire, you have
an absolute skill...
for encouraging
contributions from the poor.
To coin a phrase,
my dear counsellor:
"Rob the poor
to feed the rich."
Am I right?
Tell me. What is the next stop,
uh, Sir Hiss?
Uh, let me see, uh... Ooh!
Yes, the next stop
is Nottingham, sire.
Oh! The richest plum
of them all.
Notting... ham.
A perfect fit, sire.
Most becoming.
You look regal, dignified...
sincere, masterful,
noble, chival...
D-D-D-D-Don't overdo it, Hiss.
There.
That, I believe, does it.
This crown gives me
a feeling of power! Power!
Forgive me a cruel chuckle.
Mm. Power. Hmm.
And how well King Richard's crown
sits on your noble brow.
Doesn't it?
Uh, King Richard?
I've told you never
to mention my brother's name.
A-A mere slip of the forked tongue,
Your Majesty.
We're in this plot together,
if you don't mind my saying so.
And remember, it was your idea
I hypnotized him, and...
Ah-ah, I know.
And sent him off on that crazy crusade.
Much to the sorrow
of the Queen Mother.
Yeah. Mother.
Mother always did
like Richard best.
Your Highness, please don't do that,
if you don't mind my saying so.
You see,
you have a very loud thumb.
Hypnotism can rid you
of your psychosis-sis...
so...
easily.
No! None of that!
None of that.
Well, I was only
trying to help.
- I wonder. Silly serpent.
- "Silly serpent"?
Now, look here. One more...
One more hiss out of you...
Hiss... And you are walking
to Nottingham.
Snakes don't walk.
They slither.
Hmph. So there.
Now, what about that for luck?
It's only a circus.
A peanut operation.
Peanuts? Why, you dunce,
that's the royal coach.
- It's Prince John himself.
- The prince?
Wait a minute.
There's a law against robbin' royalty.
- I'll catch ya later.
- What?
And miss this chance
to perform before royalty?
Here we go again.
Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally!
Fortune-tellers!
Fortunes forecast.
Lucky charms.
Get the dope
with your horoscope.
Fortune-tellers!
How droll. Uh... Stop the coach.
- Sire. Sire. They may be bandits.
- Oh, poppycock.
Female bandits? What next?
Rubbish.
My dear ladies,
uh, you have my permission...
to kiss the royal hands,
whichever you like first.
Mmm! Oh!
How gracious and generous.
Sire. Sire.
Did you see what they...
Stop. Stop hissing in my ear.
Did ya see? Did ya see?
Hiss! Oh, you've
hissed your last hiss.
Suspicious snake.
Masterfully done,
Your Excellency.
Now close your eyes
and concentrate.
Close your eyes. Tight. Shut.
No peeking, sire.
From the mists of time...
come forth, spirits.
Yoo-hoo!
Okay, little fireflies.
Glow, babies. Glow.
We're waiting. Ah... Oh!
Look, sire. Look!
Ah! Incredible.
Floating spirits.
Naughty, naughty.
You mustn't touch, young man.
Oh, how dare you strike
the royal hand...
Shh. Shh. You'll break the spell.
Just gaze into the crystal ball.
Oo-de-lally. Oo-de-lall...
Oh! A face appears.
A crown is
on his noble brow.
Oo-de-lally.
A crown! How exciting!
His face is handsome...
regal, majestic, lovable.
A cuddly face.
"Handsome, regal...
majestic, lovable."
Yes, yes. "Cuddly."
Oh, that's me to a "T."
It really is, yes.
Now what?
I, uh... I see, um...
your illustrious name.
I know my name!
Get on with it!
Your name will go down, down...
down in history, of course.
Yes! I knew it! I knew it!
Do you hear that, Hiss?
Oh, you can't...
He's in the basket.
Do-Don't forget it.
Hmm. What have we here?
Solid gold hubcaps.
Oo-de-lally. The jackpot.
Robbed! I've been robbed!
Hiss! You're never around
when I need you.
- I've been robbed.
- Of course, you've been robbed!
Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally!
Fortunes forecast. Lucky charms.
After them, you fools!
No, no, no, no!
I knew it. I knew it.
I just knew this would happen.
I tried to warn you,
but, no, no, no, you wouldn't listen.
You just had to... Ah! Ah! Ah!
Seven years bad... Ooh! Luck.
That's what it is.
Besides, you broke
your mother's mirror.
Mommy.
I've got a dirty thumb.
Well, even though Prince John
offered a huge reward...
for the capture of Robin Hood...
that elusive rogue kept right on
robbing the rich to feed the poor.
And believe me,
it's a good thing he did...
because what with taxes and all...
the poor folks of Nottingham
were starvin' to death.
Uh-oh. Here comes
Old Bad News himself...
the Honourable Sheriff of Nottingham.
Every town
Has the taxes too
And the taxes is due
Do- do-do-do-do
Well, looky there.
Friar Tuck, the old do-gooder.
He's out doin' good again.
Well, good mornin', Friar Tuck.
Shh, Otto, shh.
For you, Otto, from Robin Hood.
Oh, God bless Robin Hood.
It's the sheriff.
Hurry. Hide it quick.
Here I come, ready or not.
Well, greetings from your friendly
neighbourhood tax collector.
Oh, take it easy on me, Sheriff.
Wha-Wha-What with this busted leg
and all, you know...
l-I'm way behind
in me work, Sheriff.
I know, Otto, but you're way behind
with your taxes too.
Oh, have a heart, Sheriff.
Can't ya see he's laid up?
Come on, Otto.
You'd better sit down and rest.
Oh, thank you. Yes.
Let me give you
a hand with that leg.
Upsy-daisy. Bingo.
Oh, what they won't
think of next.
It smarts, don't it, Otto? But
Prince John says that taxes should hurt.
Now, see here,
you-you evil, flint-hearted...
Now, now, now, now,
save your sermon, preacher.
It ain't Sunday, ya know.
They call me a slob
But I do my job
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Skippy
Happy birthday to you
Well, now, sonny, that box
is done up right pretty, ain't it?
Well, Mr Sheriff, sir,
it's my birthday present, sir.
It sure is.
Why don't ya open it?
Oh, boy! One whole farthing!
Have you no heart? We all scrimped
and saved to give it to him.
Now, that's mighty "thoughty" of ya,
"widder" woman.
The family that saves together,
pays together.
Oh, now don't take it
so hard, sonny.
Prince John wishes you
a happy birthday too.
Alms. Alms.
Alms for the poor.
Hmm. Well.
Well, so far it's been
a cheerful morning.
- Keep savin'.
- What a dirty trick.
You poor old man.
Do come in.
Come in and rest yourself.
Thank ye kindly, Mother.
Thank ye.
Tell me now. Did me old ears hear
someone singin' a birthday ditty?
Yes, sir.
And that mean, old sheriff...
took my birthday present.
Did he now?
But be a stouthearted little lad,
and don't let it get ya down.
Gee whiz!
It's Robin Hood!
Happy birthday, son.
Oh, he's so handsome,
just like his reward posters.
Tell me, young man,
how old are you today?
Gosh. I'm seven years old,
goin' on eight.
Seven? Well, that does make you
the man of the house.
And I've got
just the right present for you.
For me?
Gee, thanks,
Mr Robin Hood, sir.
- Hey, how do I look, huh?
- Not much like Mr Robin Hood.
She's right.
There is something missing.
Of course! There you go.
Boy, oh, boy!
Now how do I look?
- The hat's too big.
- Shh! Mind your manners.
Yes. Mind your manners.
Don't worry.
You'll grow into it, young man.
Oo-de-lally!
I'm gonna try it out.
Goodbye, Mr Robin Hood.
Come again on my birthday.
Oh, you have made his birthday
a wonderful one.
How can I ever thank ya?
I only wish I could do more.
Here.
Now keep your chin up.
Someday, there'll be happiness
again in Nottingham. You'll see.
Oh, Robin Hood, you've risked so much
to keep our hopes alive.
Bless you. Bless you.
Gee. Did Robin Hood
really give it to you?
Yeah. And this is
his own hat too.
Gee. I'd sure like
to shoot your bow and arrow.
- Let me try it, Skippy.
- Oh, no, you don't.
- I'm gonna shoot it first.
- You're pointin' it too high.
I'm not either. Watch this.
Uh-oh. Now ya done it.
Right in Prince John's backyard.
Skippy, you can't
go in there.
Yeah. Prince John'll
chop off your head.
Like this.
Oh, I don't care.
I gotta get my arrow.
Wait a minute.
Toby might tattle on ya.
- Yeah, Toby. You gotta take the oath.
- An oath?
Put your hand on your heart
and cross your eyes.
Spider, snakes
and a lizard head.
"Spiders, snakes
and a lizard's head."
If I tattletale,
I'll die till I'm dead.
"If I tattletale,
I'll die till I'm dead."
Why, it's your turn
to serve, Marian, dear.
Are you ready, Lady Kluck?
Oh, as your lady-in-waiting,
I'm waiting.
I'm getting too old for this. Oh.
- Klucky, that was a good shot.
- Oh! Not bad yourself, dear.
Oh, my girdle's killing me.
- Where is it? Did you lose it?
- Well, it must be in there someplace.
Oh, Klucky, you look so silly.
Oh, look. There it is behind you.
Oh! Well, hello.
Where did you come from?
Oh, please,
don't tell Prince John.
Mama said he'll chop off my head.
Oh, don't be afraid.
You've done nothing wrong.
Oh, Marian.
What a bonny, wee bunny.
Now, who does this young archer
remind you of?
Oh. Well, upon my word,
the notorious Robin Hood.
That's right! Why, only
Robin Hood wears a hat like that.
Yeah, and look at
this keen Robin Hood bow.
Oh, Marian. Don't look around,
but I do believe we're surrounded.
- Oh, mercy.
- He snitched on us.
It's all right, children.
Don't be afraid.
- Please come here.
- Do you think it's safe?
- That's Maid Marian.
- Mama said she's awful nice. Come on!
He-Hey, you guys, not so fast.
Wait for me.
I told Skippy
he was shooting too high.
I'm so very glad he did.
And now I get to meet all of you.
- Gee. You're very beautiful.
- Are you gonna marry Robin Hood?
Mama said you and Robin Hood
are sweethearts.
Well, um, you see, that was several
years ago, before I left for London.
- Did he ever kiss ya?
- Well, uh, no.
But he carved our initials
on this tree.
- I remember it so well.
- You gonna have any kids?
My mama gots a lot of kids.
Oh, he's probably
forgotten all about me.
Oh, not Robin Hood.
I bet he'll storm the castle gates,
fight the guards...
rescue ya and drag ya
out to Sherwood Forest.
Now, just a moment there,
young man.
You've forgotten Prince John.
That old Prince John
don't scare me none.
I'm scared of Prince John.
He's cranky.
I, Prince John,
challenge you to a duel.
Take that. And that. And this.
Death to tyrants!
Slice him to pieces!
Oh, save me, my hero.
Save me.
Oh! Ouch!
That's not fair.
Mommy!
That's Prince John, all right!
- Ya-hoo! Now I gotcha!
- Oh! Mercy! Mercy!
He got me. I'm dying.
- Ohh!
- Did I hurt ya? Huh?
Now, this is the part where you drag
your lady fair off to Sherwood Forest.
Come on, lady fair. Let's go!
Oh, Robin,
you're so brave and impetuous.
Oh. So this is Sherwood Forest.
Yeah, I guess so.
Well, now what are we gonna do?
Well, usually, the hero
gives his fair lady a kiss.
A kiss? Oh, that's sissy stuff.
Well, if you won't, then I will.
They're kissing.
Ah, me. Young love.
Oh, it's a grand thing.
Oh, Klucky, surely he must know
how much I still love him.
But, of course, my dear.
Believe me, someday soon...
your uncle, King Richard,
will have an outlaw for an in-law.
Oh, Klucky! But when? When?
Oh, patience, my dear. Patience.
Remember, absence
makes the heart grow fonder.
Or forgetful.
Oh, I've been away so long.
What if he's forgotten
all about me?
Hey, lover boy. How's that grub
comin', man? I'm starved.
Rob? Robin.
Robaire.
- Hey!
- Hmm? What? What do you say?
Ah, forget it.
Your mind's not on food.
You're thinking about somebody
with long eyelashes...
and you're smellin'
that sweet perfume.
- Hey! Whoa! L-It's boiling over.
- You're burnin' the chow!
Sorry, Johnny. I guess I was
thinking about Maid Marian again.
I can't help it.
I love her, Johnny.
Look, why don't ya stop
moanin' and mopin' around?
- Just-Just marry the girl.
- Marry her?
You don't just walk up to a girl,
hand her a bouquet and say...
"Hey, remember me? We were kids
together. Will you marry me?"
No, it just isn't done that way.
Ah, come on, Robby.
Climb the castle walls.
Sweep her off her feet.
Carry her off in style.
It's no use, Johnny. I've thought it
all out, and it just wouldn't work.
- Besides, what have I got to offer her?
- Well, for one thing, you can't cook.
I'm serious, Johnny.
She's a highborn lady of quality.
- So she's got class. So what?
- I'm an outlaw. That's what.
That's no life for a lovely lady.
Always on the run.
- What kind of a future is that?
- Oh, for heaven's sake, son.
You're no outlaw.
Why, someday,
you'll be called a great hero.
A hero? Did you hear that, Johnny?
We've just been pardoned.
That's a gas.
We ain't even been arrested yet.
All right, laugh,
you two rogues...
but there's gonna be
a big to-do in Nottingham.
Well-done, ain't it?
Old Prince John's havin' a championship
archery tournament tomorrow.
Archery tournament?
Old Rob could win that
standin' on his head, huh, Rob?
Thank you, Little John,
but I'm sure we're not invited.
No, but there's somebody who'll be
very disappointed if you don't come.
Yeah. Old Bushel Britches,
the Honourable Sheriff of Nottingham.
No. Maid Marian.
- Maid Marian?
- Yeah.
She-She's gonna give a kiss
to the winner.
Kiss to the winner!
Oo-de-lally. Come on, Johnny.
What are we waiting for?
Wait a minute, Rob. Hold it. That place
will be crawlin' with soldiers.
Aha. But remember...
faint hearts
never won fair lady.
Fear not, my friends.
This will be
my greatest performance.
Hiss, this is a red-letter day.
A coup d'etat,
to coin a Norman phrase.
Ooh. Oh, yes, indeed, sire.
Your plan to capture Robin Hood
in public is sheer genius.
Hiss, no one sits higher
than the king.
Must I remind you, Hiss?
Do... Do forgive me, sire.
I didn't mean to...
My trap is baited and set.
And then revenge!
Ah! Revenge!
Shh. Not so loud, sire.
Remember, only you and I know.
And your s-secret is my s-secret.
Stop. Stop hissing in my ear.
Secret? What secret?
Why, the capture
of Robin Hood, sire.
That insolent blackguard.
Ooh! I'll show him
who wears the crown!
I share your loathing, sire.
That scurrilous scoundrel who fooled you
with that silly disguise...
who dared to rob you
and make you look so utterly ridiculous.
Enough!
Hiss, you deliberately dodged.
But-But-But, sire, please...
Stop snivelling and hold still.
Thank you, sire.
Oh, Klucky, I'm so excited.
But how will I recognize him?
Oh, he'll let you know somehow.
That young rogue of yours
is full of surprises, my dear.
There she is, Little John.
Isn't she beautiful?
Cool it, lover boy. Your heart's
runnin' away with your head.
Ah, stop worrying.
This disguise would fool my own mother.
Yeah. But your mom ain't here.
You gotta fool Old Bushel Britches.
- Sheriff, Your Honour?
- Yeah.
Meetin' ya face-to-face
is a real treat. A real treat.
Well, now, thank you.
Oh... Excuse me. I gotta go
win this tournament.
Hey, old Rob's not a bad actor.
But wait'll he sees this scene
I lay on Prince John.
Ah! Me lord.
My esteemed royal sovereign
of the realm.
The head man himself.
You're beautiful.
He has style, hey, Hiss?
Ya took the words
right outta my mouth, P.J.
P.J. I like that.
Do you know, I do.
Hiss, put it on my luggage. P.J.
P.J. Yes.
And you?
Who might you be, sir?
I am Sir Reginald,
Duke of Chutney.
And don't stick
your tongue out at me, kid.
And now, Your Mightiness,
allow me to lay some protocol on you.
Oh, no. Forgive me,
but I lose more jewels that way than...
- Please sit down.
- Thanks, P.J.
Couldn't get a better seat
than this, could ya? The royal box.
Oh! Hey! Hey, what the...
Oh, uh, excuse me, buster.
"Buster"? You, sir,
have taken my seat.
Hiss, with you around,
who needs a court jester?
Now get out there and keep
your snake eyes open for you know who.
You... You-You mean, l...
I'm being dismissed?
You heard His Mightiness.
Move it, creepy. Get lost.
Be gone, long one.
What cheek! "Creepy.
Buster. Long one."
Who does that dopey duke
think he is?
- Now, he's up to somethin', Friar.
- Yeah. Come on.
Ah, Your Ladyship.
Beggin' your pardon,
but it's a great honour...
to be shootin' for the favour
of a lovely lady like yourself.
- I hopes I win the kiss.
- Oh!
Well, thank you,
my thin-legged archer.
I wish you luck
with all my heart.
Hmm. I wonder.
Your Highness, with your royal
permission, we are ready to begin.
Proceed, Captain.
The Tournament of the Golden Arrow
will now begin.
Yea, Dad.
Boo!
A perfect bullseye.
Well, well.
Yeah. That's what ya call
pullin' it back and lettin' it go, P.J.
I'm gonna win
that golden arrow...
and then I'm gonna present meself
to the lovely Maid Marian...
Listen, scissor bill, if you shoot
half as good as you blabber-mouth...
you're better than Robin Hood.
"Robin Hood," he says. Wowee!
I'm tip-top, all right,
but I'm not as good as he is.
That kid's got class,
ain't he, P.J.?
Indeed he has, Reggie.
Bravo! Bravo! Yes.
Oh, um, by the way...
I hear you're having a bit of trouble
gettin' your hands on that Robin Hood.
He's scared of me. That's what he is.
You notice he didn't show up here today.
Heh! I could spot him
through them phoney disguises.
It's him! It's Robin Hood!
I just can't wait
till I tell His Majesty.
Unhand me, you...
Please. Please. I don't drink.
Attention, everyone.
The final contestants are:
The Honourable Sheriff of Nottingham.
And the spindle-legged stork
from Devonshire.
My dear, I suspect you favour
the gangly youth, hmm?
Uh... Why, yes, sire.
Well, at least he amuses me.
Coincidentally, my dear young lady...
he amuses me too.
For the final shoot-out...
move the target back 30 paces.
You heard him, Nutsy. Get goin'.
Move it, you birdbrain.
And remember
what you're supposed to do.
Yes, sir, Sheriff, sir.
Well, that shot
wins the golden arrow...
the kiss
and the whole caboodle.
Yea! He did it!
He did it! He did it!
Archer, I commend you.
And because of your superior skill
you shall get what is coming to you.
Our royal congratulations.
Oh, thank you kindly,
Your Highness.
Meetin' you face-to-face,
Your High and Mighty, is a real treat.
Release the royal fingers. Ah!
And now, I name you the winner.
Or more appropriately...
the loser.
Seize him.
I sentence you to sudden...
instant and even immediate death.
Oh, no! Oh!
Please. Please, sire.
I beg of you to spare his life.
Please, have mercy.
My dear, emotional lady,
why should I?
- Because I love him, Your Highness.
- Love him?
And does this prisoner
return your love?
Marian, my darling,
I love you more than life itself.
Ah. Young love.
Your pleas have not fallen
upon a heart of stone.
But traitors to the crown
must die!
Traitor to the crown?
That crown belongs to King Richard.
- Long live King Richard!
- Long live King Richard!
Enough! I am king!
King! King!
Ah! Off with his head!
Oh, no.
Stop! Executioners, stop!
Hold your axe!
Okay, big shot. Now tell 'em
to untie my buddy, or I'll...
Sheriff, release my buddy.
I mean, release the prisoner!
Untie the prisoner?
You heard what he said,
Bushel Britches!
Sheriff, I make the rules.
And since I am the head man...
Not so hard, you mean thing.
Let him go, for heaven sakes!
Let him go!
Yee-hee!
Love conquers all!
I owe my life to you,
my darling.
I couldn't have lived
without you, Robin.
There's somethin' funny
goin' on around here.
Now, P.J., tell my pal
to kiss Maid Marian...
or I've just found
a new pincushion.
Why, you...
Kill him! Don't stand there!
Kill him!
Don't hurt me. No! No! Don't hurt me!
Help! Help!
Kill him!
Run for it, lassie!
This is no place for a lady!
Take that, you scoundrel!
Help! Robin, help!
Marian, my love,
will you marry me?
Oh, darling, I thought
you'd never ask me.
Oh, but you could have chose
a more romantic setting.
- And for our honeymoon, London!
- Yes!
- Normandy!
- Yes!
- Sunny Spain!
- Why not?
Ooh, what a main event this is.
Yippee! Ya-hoo! Yippee!
What a beautiful brawl.
Hey! Who's driving
this flying umbrella?
- We'll have six children.
- Six?
Oh, a dozen, at least.
Take that!
Attention, everyone...
Stop the girl!
Take that, you scurvy knave!
Seize the fat one!
Long live King Richard!
Ya-hoo!
Hiss! You're never around
when I need you.
Coming. Coming.
For I'm a jolly good fellow
For I'm a jolly good fellow
Oh! Oh, there you are, old boy.
P.J., you won't believe this,
but the stork is really Robin Hood.
Robin Hood.
Get out of that, if you can.
Love, it seems like only yesterday
You werejust a child at play
Now you're all grown up
inside of me
Oh, how fast those moments flee
Once we watched a lazy world go by
Now the days seem to fly
Life is brief
But when it's gone
Love goes on and on
Love will live
Love will last
Love goes on and on and on
Once we watched a lazy world go by
Now the days seem to fly
Life is brief
But when it's gone
Love goes on and on
Oh, Robin,
what a beautiful night.
I wish it would never end.
Surprise!
Long live Robin Hood!
Hooray! Hooray!
And long live Maid Marian!
Bravo! Bravo!
Hear, hear!
Bravo! Bravo! Hooray!
And down with
that scurvy Prince John.
Yeah.
Oh, the world will sing
of an English king
A thousand years from now
And not because he passed some laws
or had that lofty brow
While bonny good King Richard
leads the great crusade he's on
We'll all have to slave away
for that good-for-nothin'John
Incredible as he is inept
whenever the history books are kept
They'll call him
the phoney King of England
A pox on the phoney King of England
He sits alone on a giant throne
pretendin'he's the king
A little tyke who's rather like
a puppet on a string
And he throws an angry tantrum
if he cannot have his way
And then he calls for Mom
while he's suckin' his thumb.
You see, he doesn't want to play.
Too late to be known as John the First
He's sure to known as John the Worst
A pox on that phoney King of England
Lay that country on me, babe.
Come on, Johnny!
Go, man, go!
While he taxes us to pieces
and he robs us of our bread
King Richard's crown keeps slippin'down
around that pointed head, ah
But while there is a merry man
in Robin's wily pack
We'll find a way to make him pay
and steal our money back
A minute before he knows we're there
Old Rob'll snatch his underwear.
The breezy and uneasy King of England
The snivellin', grovellin'
Measly, weaselly
Blabberin', jabberin'
Jibberin', jabberin'
Plunderin', plottin'
Wheelin', dealin'
PrinceJohn
That phoney King of England, yeah
He throws an angry tantrum
if he cannot have his way
He calls for Mom and sucks his thumb
and doesn't want to play
Too late to be known as John the First
He's sure to be known
as John the Worst
How about that?
That's P.J. To a "T."
Let me try. Let me try.
Too late to be known as John the First
He's sure to be known as John the Worst
The fabulous, marvellous,
merciful, ch-ch-chivalrous...
Oh, ya got it all wrong, Hiss.
The snivellin', grovellin', weaselly...
Enough!
But-But, uh, sire, it's a big hit.
The whole village is singin' it.
Oh, they are, are they?
Well, they'll be
singing a different tune.
Double the taxes.
Triple the taxes.
Squeeze every last drop...
out of those insolent,
musical peasants.
Man, oh, man. That Prince John
sure made good his threat.
And his helpless subjects paid dearly
for his humiliation, believe me.
Taxes, taxes, taxes.
Why, he taxed the heart and soul
out of the poor people of Nottingham.
And if you couldn't pay your taxes,
you went to jail.
Yep. I'm in here too.
Nottingham was in deep trouble.
Every town
Has its ups and downs
Sometimes ups
Outnumber the downs
But not in Nottingham
I'm inclined to believe
If we weren't so down
We'd up and leave
We'd up and fly
If we had wings for flyin'
Can't ya see the tears we're cryin'
Can't there be some happiness for me
Not in Nottingham
Friar Tuck.
I don't think anyone
is coming.
You're right, Sexton, but maybe
the sound of this church bell...
will bring those poor people
some comfort.
We must do what we can
to keep their hopes alive.
Oh. How can there be any hope
with that tyrant Prince John...
taxing the heart and soul
out of the poor people?
Yes, those poor people.
Look. Our poor box is like our church.
Empty.
Friar Tuck.
We've saved this.
It's not much,
but please take it for the poor.
Your last farthing?
Ah, little sister.
No one can give more than that.
Bless you both.
Oh, we were just saving it
for a rainy day.
Well, it's rainin' now.
- Things can't get worse.
- Howdy, Friar.
Well, it looks like I dropped by
just in time.
What does that big-bellied bully
want here?
Father, shh.
Hmm. Well, what have we got here?
Now, just a minute, Sheriff.
Th-Th-Th-Th-That's the poor box!
It sure is, and I'll just take it
for poor Prince John.
Every little bit helps.
Ooh. You put that back.
And His Majesty
also blesses you, little sister.
You thievin' scoundrel!
Now, take it easy, Friar.
I'm just doin' my duty.
Collectin' taxes...
for that arrogant, greedy,
ruthless, no-good Prince John?
Listen, Friar.
You're mighty preachy...
and you gonna preach your neck
right into a hangman's noose.
Get outta my church!
- Out! Out! Out! Out!
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, dear me.
You want taxes?
- I'll give you taxes!
- Ow!
Give it to him! Give it to him!
Give it to him, Friar!
You're under arrest
for high treason to the crown.
Oh, no.
Oh, there, there, Mother.
Every town
Has its ups and downs
Sometimes ups
Outnumber the downs
But not in Nottingham
S-sire, if I may...
may venture an opinion...
you're not your usual cheerful,
genial self today.
L-l-I know. I know.
You haven't counted
your money for days. Hmm?
It always makes you so happy.
Sire, taxes are pouring in.
The jail is full.
And... Oh!
I have good news, sire.
Friar Tuck is in jail.
Friar Tuck?
It's Robin Hood I want,
you idiot!
Oh! I'd give all my gold
if I could just get my hands...
Uh...
Did you say "Friar Tuck"?
Did I? Oh. Y-Y-Yes, I did.
Ah, Hiss! I have it.
I'll use that fat friar
as bait to trap Robin Hood.
- Another trap?
- Yes, yes, you stupid serpent.
Friar Tuck will be led to the gallows
in the village square, don't you see?
B-B-B-But, sire, hang Friar Tuck?
A man of the church?
Yes, my reluctant reptile.
And when our elusive hero
tries to rescue...
the corpulent cleric...
my men will be ready.
Well, Trigger, everything's
rigged up and all set.
Yep. It's one of the prettiest
scaffolds you ever built, Sheriff.
Oh, Sheriff, don't ya reckon we'd
oughta give that there trapdoor a test?
"Criminently." Now I know why
your mama called ya Nutsy.
Alms. Alms for the poor.
Do me old ears hear
the melodious voice of the sheriff?
That's right, old man.
What be goin' on here?
We're gonna hang Friar Tuck.
No! Hang Fri...
Um, hang Friar Tuck?
You betcha. At dawn.
And maybe it'll
even be a double hangin'.
Shh! Shh!
Dummy up, you dummy.
A double hangin', eh?
Who be the other one
who gets the rope?
Sheriff, he's gettin'
too all-fired nosy.
I didn't mean nothin'.
But, um, couldn't there be trouble
if Robin Hood showed up?
Well, what do ya know, Sheriff?
He guessed it.
Nutsy, button your beak.
Ah, no need to worry.
The sheriff be too crafty,
too clever and too smart...
for the likes of him, says I.
Ya hear that, Nutsy? For bein' blind, he
sure knows a good man when he sees one.
Heh... Says I.
SHeriff, I still got a feelin' that
that snoopy, old codger knows too much.
Oh, shut up, Trigger.
He's just a harmless,
old, blind beggar.
Alms. Alms for the poor. Alms.
Alms for the poor.
Rob. We can't let 'em
hang Friar Tuck.
Ajailbreak tonight
is the only chance he's got.
Ajailbreak?
There ain't no way you can get...
We've got to, Johnny,
or Friar Tuck dies at dawn.
One o'clock...
and all's well!
Nutsy, you better set your brains
ahead a couple of hours.
Yes, sir. Uh, does that there mean
addin' or subtractin'?
Oh, let's forget it.
Yes, sir, Sheriff, sir.
Nutsy, how can I sleep with you
yellin' "All's well!" all the time here?
Sheriff, everything
ain't "all's well."
I got a feelin' in my bones...
there's gonna be a jailbreak
any minute.
"Criminently," Trigger!
Point that peashooter
the other way.
Don't you worry none, Sheriff.
The safety's on Old Betsy.
What in tarnation you tryin' to do,
you birdbrain?
Just doin' my duty, Sheriff.
Oh, you and that itchy
trigger finger of yours.
- Hey, did you hear that?
- Sure did, Trigger.
There's somethin' funny
goin' on around here.
Come on. You cover me.
Wait a minute.
Uh, is the safety on Old Betsy?
You bet it is, Sheriff.
That's what I'm afraid of.
You go first.
All right, you in there!
Come out with your hands up!
Yeah. Reach for the sky!
Just you watch
this "preformance," partner.
Be careful, Rob.
Jehoshaphat, Trigger!
Put that peashooter down.
Oh, shucks, Trigger.
It's only Nutsy.
And "criminently,"
get back to your patrol.
On the double. Git!
I'm a-gittin'. I'm a-gittin'.
That Trigger.
He's gittin' everybody edgy.
Nothing's gonna happen.
That fat friar is gonna dangle
from the gallows come daybreak.
Fine.
Why don't ya just sit yourself
down here kinda cozy-like?
Well, thank ya, Nutsy.
Just close your sleepy little eyeballs.
The sandman's a-comin'.
Why don't you, uh,
let me loosen that belt?
Rockabye, Sheriff
Just you relax
I'm relaxing.
Ooh. Oh, Nutsy,
that's mighty sweet.
Sing it one more time, will ya?
Rockabye, Sheriff
Just you relax
I'm relaxing.
Wait a minute!
Jailbreak! Jailbreak!
I heard it! I heard it, Sheriff.
The door! The door!
Now, for the last time,
no more false alarms.
Now, you release Friar Tuck
and the others...
and I'll drop in
on the royal treasury.
Oh. Little John! It can't be!
Shh. Quiet.
We're bustin' outta here.
Thank God.
My prayers have been answered.
I'm ready.
Where's the bad guys?
Take it easy, son.
Robin Hood?
I'll get even. I'll get...
It's Robin Hood l-I want.
Praise the Lord,
and pass the tax rebate!
Come on. Follow me.
Sheriff, now... now...
now don't get your dander up...
but I still got
a feelin' that...
Friar. Get goin'. Hurry.
Guards! Guards! My gold!
Oh, no, no, no!
They're getting away with my gold!
Guards! Guards!
To the jail!
Rhinos, halt! Stop! Desist!
Everybody, this way!
That's all of them.
Get going!
This ain't no hayride.
Let's move it outta here. Ho!
On to Sherwood Forest!
Stop! My baby!
Mama! Mama! Wait for me!
We got him now.
Keep going.
Don't worry about me.
This time we got him for sure.
Shoot him!
Kill him! Kill him!
Come on, Rob. Come on.
He's just gotta make it.
No. No, no.
Hiss! He's finished!
Done for!
La, la, la
He's gonna make it,
isn't he, Little John?
Hey, what's that?
Little John, lookit, lookit.
Hey, what the...
Oh, man, did you
have me worried, Rob.
I thought you were long gone.
Ah, not Robin Hood.
He could've swum twice that far,
huh, Mr Robin Hood, sir?
Look, sire. Look. He's made it.
He got away again.
A pox on the phoney King of England!
Oo-de-lally!
- Oo-de-lally!
- Oh, no. It's so miserably unfair.
Well, I tried to tell you,
but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen.
Your traps just never work.
And now look what you've done
to your mother's castle.
Mommy!
- Hold still, you cowardly cobra!
- Sire, no!
Please! Oh! No!
Procrastinating python.
Aggravating asp!
- You eel in snake's clothing.
- Help!
He's gone stark raving mad!
You know, I thought we'd never
get rid of those two rascals.
But lucky for us folks,
King Richard returned...
and, well, he-he just
straightened everything out.
Say, we better get over to the church.
Sounds like somebody's gettin' hitched.
Long live Robin Hood!
Long live King Richard!
Oh, Friar Tuck.
It appears that I now have
an outlaw for an in-law.
It's not bad.
Gee, Skippy,
how come you're goin'?
Well, Robin Hood's
gonna have kids...
so somebody's gotta
keep their eye on things.
Ho!
Oh! I've never been so happy.
Hey, here come the bride, Trigger.
"Persent" arms!
Well, folks, that's the way
it really happened.
Love goes on and on
Oo- de-lally, oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day
Oo- de-lally, oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day