Silent Bite (2024) Movie Script
1
(static beeping) (dark music)
(dramatic string music)
(logo whooshing)
(sleigh bells jingling) (bats squeaking)
(festive rock music)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(bright festive jingle)
[Radio Host] Merry Christmas!
[Presenter] KQNY3.
Upstate New York Radio.
[Randy] This is Randy McChatten,
with more news and weather updates.
But first, it's the holiday season.
Looking for that perfect stocking stuffer?
Well, today's show is brought to you by...
Snake Bite Cologne, from Eccentrip.
Put a little bite in your bark.
Tonight's forecast, snow,
snow, and lots more snow.
Bundle up, stay warm,
and get ready for some serious winter.
Details still coming in,
but early reports confirm,
five men robbed the Wisconsin
County Bank and Trust
at 3:35 this afternoon.
At gunpoint, they held
locals and staff hostage
for about 90 seconds,
before speeding away in a
four by four Jeep style vehicle.
Police and mayor's office
offering a $50,000 reward
for any information that
may lead to an arrest.
Police are investigating links
that the clearly foreign
team of armed robbers
had help from somewhere in
this small and peaceful town,
as they seemed focused
and knowledgeable about
local procedures and security protocols
on the inner workings of the bank.
Police are referring to them
as the "Santa Hat Bandits".
They're dressed in the Santa Claus attire,
and said to be armed
and extremely dangerous.
(radio whooshes)
This broadcast is brought to you by...
(bell dings) Mr. Beaver's Hardware Store.
For all your home improvement
and gardening needs.
Checking in. (chuckles) (Snowman spits)
[Randy] And don't forget
to celebrate Christmas...
(thud rumbling)
Right.
Yes.
Uh, you're...
Well...
Uh, wat name is the reservation under?
Scrooge. (soft jazzy piano music)
Of course.
Ah.
Yeah, I have you here.
You're a day late.
(soft jazzy piano music continues)
I assume you need our
IDs and credit cards
for incidentals.
Well, yeah. Normally we like to have-
- I'm fucking joking.
Where's the room?
Oh.
Of course.
It's down here.
(soft jazzy piano music continues)
Is now a good time to ask for the Wi-Fi?
Or hardwire connection ethernet?
Okay, forget it.
(soft jazzy piano music continues)
It's this way.
(trash bag rustles)
(door creaks)
Oh, what the fuck is this?
I'd love a fuckin' drink.
Take this.
Where's our rooms?
Uh, Mr. Scrooge reserved a room
that you wouldn't be disturbed in.
Something larger.
Not for five.
Yeah, our fifth man is on the way.
He'll be here.
Yes, but you can't have five in the room.
It's against the fire regulations.
(laughs) Yeah.
God forbid we do anything
illegal, aye, boys?
(Snowman laughs)
Why can't we have a room each?
Well, you can.
That you can't. We're staying together.
Okay? We arrive together,
and we're gonna leave together.
That's the plan, Grinch.
I want to take a shower, and a shit.
And jerk off and relax.
And I can't do that
with Blake staring at me
like a lost puppy.
They said that we'd use our code names.
I'm Prancer.
Shut it, Blake.
I didn't hear that.
Uh, I can get you some more bedding, sir.
Can you give me a sponge bath too?
Stop.
This is fine. Thank you.
And please, help yourself-
- Yeah, way ahead of you, pal.
Uh, anything else?
Food.
No, we're fine.
(bottle thuds)
Who's got a knife?
Yeah, mate.
Right fuckin' here. (trash bag rustles)
You want it?
Bloody hell, you're not fucking Rambo.
It's a fucking knife, mate.
(knife clatters)
We gotta talk.
Right.
We're not to be disturbed, at all.
Yes, sir.
(door creaks) Night.
I am hungry.
Is there anything
behind the bar he can eat?
Yeah, peanuts.
And we're not paying peanuts,
so stop acting like a fucking monkey.
Settle down!
Fine.
I'll just waste away here.
I...
I actually have an extra protein bar.
I thought I told you to fuckin' shut up.
I don't want your fuckin' protein bar.
Okay.
Prancer.
Set up the radio.
Right. On it.
See if anybody's coming our way.
Grinch, make yourself useful.
Do the walk around, place the sensors.
Snowman! Stop drinking.
And do the weapons check.
And everybody, before you
do anything else, strip.
Oh, I knew it was gonna
be that kind of party.
(Snowman chuckles)
(Father Christmas sighs)
What the hell are you so happy about?
Beer?
Yeah.
Too fuckin' right, beer.
And $1 million richer! (trash bag rustling)
(Snowman laughs) (Father
Christmas chuckles)
(hands tapping)
No wonder you got the code name "Grinch".
Hey, you said that was
because I stole Christmas!
Yeah, it was.
That's what I believe what happened. Yeah.
[Grinch] Well, I want a new code name.
No, we're not switching.
You got the names you got,
and we're sticking with them.
Well, that's okay for
you, Father Christmas.
I like Prancer.
Shut it, Blake!
Why can't I be Snowman?
Snowman is cool.
Like he's some ice cold hitman.
So why the fuck does Dumbo get that name?
(Snowman snorts)
(Snowman grunts)
Fuck.
I don't know why he got the name he got.
He just did.
Well, no switching names!
End of discussion.
Whatever.
Let's just get this over with, huh?
I got a wife and a dog I gotta get home to.
Lucky bitches.
(Snowman laughs)
What'd you say?
Oh my God. Stop!
Hey!
Everybody shut the fuck up and strip.
(upbeat guitar music)
Now!
Come on. Let's go!
(upbeat guitar music continues)
Go on then.
(trash bag rustling)
This belt!
(upbeat guitar music continues)
(upbeat guitar music continues)
(upbeat guitar music fades)
(car beeps)
(car door slams) (Rudolph whistles)
(Rudolph continues whistling)
God, I fuckin' love Christmas.
(Rudolph whistles)
(cap clatters)
(Rudolph continues whistling)
(mellow festive music)
(video game beeping)
(bell dings) (door creaks)
Hey, what the fuck, Santa?
Ooh.
Why don't you guys go out back
and jingle each other's balls?
(mellow festive music)
(Becky chuckles)
That's a cool costume.
It's more of a uniform, really.
Oh, right. Right.
I can see that.
Look, can we hurry this along?
I got a lot of places I gotta be tonight.
(Becky chuckles)
You're killing me.
Seriously.
Hurry the fuck up.
(tense ominous music)
Okay.
Okay. It's 19.28 for the gas.
(tense ominous music continues)
Merry fuckin' Christmas.
(tense ominous music continues)
(cell phone beeps)
[Operator] 911. What's your emergency?
Hi, this is Becky over at Islands Gas.
[Operator] Okay. I have
your location pulled up.
What's your emergency?
Yeah, I don't know if
this is an emergency or not,
but Santa came in here and...
Yeah, I think he killed someone for sure.
[Operator] All right, ma'am.
I've got the police on the way.
(tense ominous music continues)
(tense ominous music continues)
(Colin knocks)
(tense ominous music continues)
(Colin gasps)
They're here.
(tense ominous music fades)
[Ted] Thank you for joining us out there.
We're playing all of the Christmas hits
from yesteryear and today.
Now we go to Debra for the weather.
[Debra] Uh, yes, Ted.
It's a frosty 12 degrees outside, so,
keep those chestnuts
roasting on the open fire,
or else you'll get some frostbite
in some unexpected places.
[Ted] Well, that would
be mildly inconvenient.
That's probably why I'm wearing
four pairs of pants tonight.
(tense ominous music)
(tense ominous music continues)
(tense ominous music continues)
(match flicks)
Bad dreams?
You know, when I was a child,
many, many years ago,
(chains rattling) I used
to wake up and smile.
(unnerving music)
Did you ever have that?
There's a split second when
you're probably still half asleep,
and you just smile.
It's because you're so
present in that moment.
And then...
(Selene snaps)
The world begins to flood your mind again.
All the shit you've done,
all the shit you haven't done...
All the shit you'll get blamed for doing,
whether you've done it or not.
And that smile's gone by the
time you brush your teeth.
That's what it's like, Genie.
(Selene laughs)
We live right here, right now,
right in this split second.
We have that bliss, always.
Nothing troubles our mind.
And that, sister, to me...
That's immortality.
(tense unnerving music)
Mm.
It's a pity you'll never feel it.
(Genie sobs)
Selene.
Please, stop.
If you take any more, I'm
just gonna bleed out and die.
Aw!
Another little tip...
Don't try and scare the
dead with the talk of dying.
(tense unnerving music continues)
(Genie screams)
(blood squelches) (Genie yells)
(Genie sobs)
(Grinch spits)
Ugh.
(Grinch gags)
What was that?
Expired.
No, not that. Didn't you hear that?
Actually, yeah.
[Blake] It was like a scream.
(tense ominous music)
Or something else.
[Blake] Like what?
I've heard that noise before.
It's like, this time of
year, it always happens.
That exact fuckin' noise.
Kinda like that squealing noise, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That Santa's reindeer, mate.
(Snowman laughs)
Okay, okay, okay.
(all laughing)
Yeah, that's not actually that funny.
Yes, it fuckin' is.
You see your stupid little face!
(unnerving music)
(blood squelches) (Genie yells)
(genie sobs) (footsteps stomping)
(unnerving music continues)
Mother!
Forgive me.
She was trying to escape.
(unnerving music continues)
Do not lie to me!
(Selene gasps)
(unnerving music continues)
Am I not good to you girls?
Yes, Mother.
[Victoria] Yes, Mother.
[Lucia] Yes, Mother.
Yes, Mother.
Do I not feed you?
Show you things no man has ever seen?
Always.
Always.
Yes, Mother.
(unnerving music continues)
[Mother] And this is
how you repay that love?
Is that what this is, Mother?
Love?
It is a mother's love,
which sometimes, my sweet,
must be strong and tough,
as young ladies are the
future of our family.
I'm hungry.
You're always hungry.
And Mother will provide.
Mother is here to tell
you that Lucifer himself
has provided not one, but
four delicious dishes.
Where?
Why, right here in this hotel.
Listen, my girls...
Can you not feel their blood?
Oh, yes.
(tense music) (heart beating)
Can you not feel their hearts beating?
Yes.
Can we play with them?
Why, of course!
It's Christmas, after all.
So, whatever your hearts desire.
Seducing and snacking.
Fucking and feeding.
Whatever your Christmas wish is, my baby.
(girls breathing heavily)
(tense unnerving music)
(device beeps)
(police radio chattering)
I've checked it twice.
Show me.
There's nothing to see.
The thermals motion, it's all down,
or it was never switched on.
Grinch, you switched the sensors on, right?
What?
The sensors.
What about them?
You switched them on, right?
Hey, drop the fuckin' attitude with me.
It's just a question.
A question designed
to make me look stupid.
Right, okay.
Did you switch them on or not?
How the fuck should I know?
Okay, so that's a no.
Hey, baby Einstein...
Maybe you should have switched them on
before you gave them to me.
Hey, enough!
Look, I realize we're all a little on edge.
Everybody calm down.
I get it, the plan's a
little close to the bone.
It's a smart plan.
Nobody is blaming the plan.
I might, if we get caught.
Please, can we try to stay positive?
Sorry.
When we get caught.
Look guys, this could all be over
by the time the sun
rises for three reasons.
Firstly, firstly, everyone is gonna expect
for us to put as much
distance as humanly possible
between us and the place that we've robbed.
And the fact that it is only
200 yards down the road,
makes us pretty hard to predict.
Not hard to find.
Yes, it does make us hard to find,
because nobody is looking here.
Every cop is following Rudolph.
He's taking them north.
He's leading them up the garden path.
He's the decoy driver, and he's good at it.
And he's gonna swing back
for us when we're all clear.
If he fuckin' comes back.
He will.
And why is that?
Because we have his money.
Exactly.
And when he does, we'll
take off in that car,
right onto the southbound road,
where nobody is looking.
We hope.
We will.
Guys, please, remember, it's Christmas Eve.
There's not gonna be one police officer
that's interested in manning the roadblocks
once they get a bite six
hours north of this location.
Plus, we didn't hurt anybody.
We didn't kill anybody.
We didn't embarrass the cops.
Because we were so fast, in and out.
And there's a storm coming.
You see this storm?
It's gonna provide cover,
but it does mean that we're a little blind.
So I don't know about you, Grinch,
but I'd really fuckin' like to know
if the cops are rolling up
at the end of the driveway.
Which means, we need the sensors.
So pretty please, with a
cherry on top, hop on it!
Well, I wouldn't wanna fuck it up twice.
Can I at least get a weapon?
Now you take care of that.
I reckon it's silver.
What?
I want it back.
It's a family heirloom.
It's a spoon.
Don't make me say it again.
Just go.
Can you go easy on him?
I am.
He doesn't belong
here, and you know that.
That's what I don't like.
He's the type that
snitches on us all later.
The old man doesn't seem to think so.
Scrooge ain't the one
gonna get snitched on.
So, what's the backup plan anyways?
What?
If someone catches Rudolph,
they're gonna realize pretty
quickly that he's a decoy,
and they'll come right back here.
He checks in every 30 minutes.
Okay?
And if he stops doing that,
then I'll start to worry,
and then we'll...
You know, we'll head out on foot.
For what?
There's a harbor.
So there's boats there and shit.
In winter?
Oh my God!
We're sticking with the
crazy, unpredictable plan.
Okay?
Sounds loose, man.
What does that mean?
Sounds like a bad plan.
It is a bad plan!
But we won't ever have to use it!
You know why?
Because Rudolph is an
excellent decoy driver.
He's been doing it for 30 fuckin' years,
and he's better than you!
I'm not worried if you're not.
Oh, shit. I'm super worried.
But obviously, that's my leadership skills
coming out to the forefront,
making you feel a false sense of security.
God, I really am good.
Which is why I get a higher cut.
Dick. (chuckles)
Thank you.
Speaking of, I should probably...
Is that him?
Well, no.
This is me checking in with him.
Because he's late!
He's a little late, but
you know, he likes a car nap.
Please be kidding.
(pool balls clattering)
(sirens blaring) (police radio chattering)
(tense ominous music)
Ooh, yeah.
Bunch of...
I guess it's time to run, run, Rudolph.
(police radio chattering)
(car engine revs)
(tense ominous music continues)
Okay, well, that's not
doing anything, is it?
(sensors beeping)
(sighs) Stupid.
Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
I'll clean up your mess too.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Whenever you guys need!
(tense ominous music continues)
(sensor beeps)
(tense ominous music continues)
(clock ticks)
(fire crackling)
(soft tense music)
(soft tense music continues)
(flames whooshing)
(soft tense music continues)
(soft tense music continues)
(gun cocks)
Uh, sorry.
What the fuck are you
doing sneaking up on someone
who's on the edge?
And they're armed.
You're on the edge?
Yeah.
Keep it a secret, will you?
Right. Okay.
Should we be worried?
No.
Was that a real no?
You'll never know.
- You wanna smoke?
- No.
No, thank you.
Those things are bad for you.
Is that right?
They can reduce your life
expectancy by 10 years.
Oh, I didn't know that.
[Blake] You can look it up.
What did it say about the
life expectancy of bank robbers?
Um, I would probably say
that there's not enough
data really to suggest...
(Prancer chuckles)
This is more of your
British sarcasm, isn't it?
See, you are a smart cookie.
You would think.
[Father Christmas] Why
on earth are you here?
What?
You don't look like you
belong on one of these jobs.
Gigs.
[Father Christmas] What?
We call them gigs.
You're smart, right?
Yeah. I have a double doctorate from MIT.
But no street smarts, I'm guessing.
Eh, how's that?
Because you're correcting the grammar
of a guy with a gun, who's on the edge.
That's how.
So you are on the edge.
I'm on the edge because
I'm a little worried
you came out here without
switching on the fucking sensors.
Oh, oh, they're all on.
They are?
Then maybe next time, start with that.
That's what I came out here to say,
and then you did the gun thing and-
- And you're uncomfortable around guns,
which leads me back to my first question.
Why on earth are you here?
Oh, fuckin' hell!
You're not trying to impress
some fuckin' girl, are you,
with a wad of cash?
(Prancer chuckles)
No, no. No, really, no.
So, what is it?
Um...
Uh, my dad.
(soft melancholic music)
What about your dad?
My dad had gambling debts.
Big ones.
To Scrooge?
Yeah.
And...
This sort of gets him even.
(fire crackling)
You're paying off your dad's debt?
That's a pretty honorable thing to do.
He would want me to do that.
He would want you to?
He's dead.
Yeah.
So you're paying off a dead man's debt?
We still owe the money.
Who still owes the money?
The family.
[Father Christmas] What do you mean?
Well, just me.
My mom died of cancer a few years back,
and so it's just me, I guess.
So, Scrooge said that I
could pay back this way.
(fire crackling)
I can do it.
Do what?
I can be one of you guys.
(Father Christmas snorts)
Oh, you're serious, right.
Look...
Blake, don't take this
the wrong way, but...
I don't think so.
One of these days, I'm gonna
die on one of these gigs,
and that's okay.
Because I've got nothing left to live for.
Nothing left to lose.
I've made every mistake you can think of,
and a few more probably.
And my one hope is that I absolve myself
by doing something so
magnanimous, so selfless,
that God might forgive me
for all the terrible things I've done.
I'll tell you the truth.
Even if I did that,
I still think I'm going straight to hell.
But you...
What? What about me?
You don't want this life.
Not really.
You never sleep, you never
enjoy anything, you can't relax.
It's nowhere.
It's not a life.
So do me one favor...
Make better decisions tomorrow,
because you could get what I've never had.
A life.
(soft tense music)
Do you really think that?
(soft tense music continues)
But that's tomorrow.
Whilst you're here, do me a favor,
and follow the fuckin' rules.
Right. What are the rules?
Only one. Rule number one.
Don't give a fuck about
anybody, anybody but yourself.
Okay?
Okay. Got it.
Now, go on. Fuck off back to the bar.
And Blake?
Next time, bring a fucking coat.
Right.
Sorry.
(soft tense music fades)
[Tony] Colin!
Hey, Tony!
The fuck you say to me?
I mean, Tony!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How long has it been?
A week.
No, not quite.
It's like only been six days.
Come on, come on.
I don't wanna work tomorrow, Colin.
You really want me to
come back here tomorrow?
Uh, well, I...
I, I...
I don't have it.
Ah, you don't have it?
- Well, it's coming.
- Are you okay?
Yeah, it's practically here.
It's basically here.
Are you okay?
Yeah, fine. You?
No, no, no, no. You seem a little weird.
I mean, you're always a little
bit weird, but more so today.
Uh, just too much eggnog.
Eggnog? (whimsical festive music)
Yeah.
I hear you.
(Tony sighs)
So, am I got to break
a finger here or what?
No, no, no.
Look, you said a week and-
- Colin!
A week is tomorrow.
Give me something.
Look, but...
But...
Look, I-
- [Tony] But?
- I got a down payment.
[Tony] A what?
Yeah.
It's like a show of good faith, huh?
What? Well, all right then.
Give me the fuckin' money.
- Okay.
- Where'd you get this?
Okay, like, tomorrow. Okay?
Where did you get this?
I...
It's just an early Christmas present.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, you know, just
business has been good.
Been good?
This place looks freakin' dead.
[Mother] Hi.
Oh, shit!
Sorry, sweetheart.
You gave me a freakin' heart attack.
- Whoops.
- Oh my God.
No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay.
If I'm gonna have one,
it should be from someone
who looks like you.
Well, I do hope it's
me that kills you then.
(Tony chuckles)
All right.
I see.
I get it, okay.
I see.
- You do?
- Yeah, I do. I do.
Colin is looking for some
more diversification.
All right?
You know, empty rooms, beautiful ladies.
Right?
Are you calling me a whore?
Oh, whoa, no, no, no.
What he means...
No.
(all laughing)
She's good, that's good.
So, how much?
No, no.
She's all booked up, all night.
Yeah, I bet. I bet she is.
Yeah, so, tomorrow.
Hm?
Yeah, tomorrow.
Will you still be here tomorrow?
Yeah, yeah, she will.
When the sun goes down.
Okay. All right.
That's good, that's good.
Because tomorrow I have
all the free time in the world,
and plenty of money.
(whimsical festive music)
[Mother] It's a date.
All right.
All right.
Tomorrow.
(whimsical festive music continues)
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't be.
When he comes back, I'm
gonna bite his dick off,
and watch him bleed out.
Gee, that sounds like fun.
Just, just...
Don't let them see you, okay?
Oh, Colin, you're no fun!
Mommy likes to play with her food.
Yeah, but just not yet.
(bottle shatters) (tense jarring music)
Don't ever tell me
what I can and cannot do.
Okay.
(glass clatters) (tense ominous music)
(objects clicking)
(pool balls clattering)
I fuckin' won!
It's pretty easy when
you're playing yourself, mate.
Ah, mate.
Not always. Not always!
(device beeping)
There's movement in the pool area.
In the pool area?
Yeah.
Might've been the night manager.
No, he is in reception.
I thought he said the place was empty.
Yeah, he did.
Snowman.
Time to earn your money.
Just wanted a fucking smoke.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
After.
(tense music)
[Snowman] Come on then, you cunt.
That's the spirit.
Do you know what a mother's love is?
(soft eerie music)
It's something very difficult to explain.
Impossible to teach, yet
equally impossible to remove
once you've awoken that sense.
(soft eerie music continues)
(Genie grunts)
Drink.
No, no...
No, no...
No, oh!
(soft eerie music swells)
[Mother] Drink.
Anything else?
Uh, yeah.
He was talking to some guy,
but nothing since then.
Yeah, he was talking to himself.
Talking to himself?
Yeah.
Show me.
(tense mysterious music)
(keyboard clacking)
(laptop beeps)
(tense mysterious music continues)
(tense mysterious music continues)
Where did you find her?
She was lost.
Wanted to be an actress.
Poor little girl.
But now she gets to play
the role of a lifetime.
Will she be like us?
In time.
(Victoria chuckles)
She hates us.
She fears us.
It's different.
She sees us as an end,
rather than an eye opening
beginning to her second life.
Do you remember your human life?
When you learn to walk,
you forget the days that
you could only crawl.
I remember, but only bits and pieces.
I had so much pain.
Didn't Mommy promise
you a world without pain?
(Genie grunts)
(Genie coughs)
My baby sister.
It will be the last time she feels pain.
(soft tense music)
Who are the men?
They're men no one will miss.
And no one will come looking for.
Selene says that they could be dangerous.
Don't worry, baby.
In this world, we're the hunters.
(soft tense music swells)
(jarring music) (clock ticking)
[Reporter] Police are still looking for
the so-called "Santa Hat Bandits".
If you have any information
on these ne'er-do-wells,
please contact your local authorities.
Everything good? (tense ominous music)
[Reporter] And remember...
Uh, I was just keeping an eye out.
You don't strike me as
someone that's too observant,
for somebody keeping an eye.
(Colin chuckles)
Ah...
It's too much eggnog.
(Colin and Father Christmas chuckles)
So, you seen anyone?
(tense ominous music)
No.
No one?
No, not a creature
stirring, not even a mouse.
So, no one's in the hotel?
Yeah, no, there is.
There is?
Yeah, yeah.
There's like a couple of college girls.
They're just passing through.
Oh.
Why didn't you say anything?
I, I, just...
Slipped my mind, I guess.
So they checked in after?
No, earlier.
Because, you know, you
were a day late, so I-
- Shh.
Let me ask you something else.
Do I look like a cunt?
What?
Do I look like a cunt?
What?
Let me switch it up for you.
Are you deaf?
No.
Are you blind?
No.
Do I look like a cunt?
No.
Then why are you treating me like one?
I-
- There was a guy in here 20 minutes ago.
Who the fuck was that?
No one.
Who the fuck was he?
No one.
No one? Lie to me again.
(gun clicks) Lie to me again.
One more time.
Who was that?
He's...
He's just a guy.
I owe him money.
He comes in every week.
Finally, something true.
Yeah, it is.
And what's it for?
The debt?
Yes, Colin. What's the debt for?
Gambling. I ran up a bill.
I had a streak of bad luck.
I tried to count cards.
Counting cards.
You gotta be pretty fuckin'
smart to count cards.
All right, fair.
And you don't strike me
as pretty fuckin' smart.
You know what you strike me as?
You strike me as the type of guy
that thinks he can play both
sides and get away with it.
Let me tell you something
I learned a long time ago.
Luck never favors a man that depends on it.
Okay. (tense music)
Lie to me again, watch your luck change.
Clear?
(tense music swells)
All right, good.
Good chat.
Keep an eye out. We're depending on you.
(Colin exhales) (tense music continues)
(soft ominous music)
(water splashes)
(Selene laughs)
(soft ominous music continues)
(Selene laughs)
Hey.
(Snowman chuckles)
Hello.
Are you British?
Oh, yeah.
Guilty as charged.
(Victoria chuckles)
Love that accent, right?
Yummy.
Well, you know, I've been
practicing for 35 years.
(Victoria and Selene laughing)
Did you wanna jump in?
Oh, no, no.
(Snowman laughs)
(water splashes)
(Snowman laughs)
Uh...
I was just checking out the facilities.
Smart man. Likes to see
what's on offer first.
Yeah. (chuckles)
Well, you know...
I should probably-
- Hey, um, apparently the bar's closed.
You wouldn't happen to have
any beers we could buy from you?
You know what?
I could probably do that.
(Victoria laughs) (Snowman chuckles)
But no charge.
No charge? (chuckles)
Well, nah.
Not for two beautiful
ladies such as yourselves.
Ladies?
What are we, old?
No, no, no, no. I meant lo-
- Mister, we're girls.
Girls that just wanna have fun.
(Victoria chuckles)
Which is a whole lot
easier with a few beers.
Am I right?
You're fuckin' right!
That's what I keep
tellin' the fuckin' boys!
(Snowman laughs)
Oh...
We appreciate a man
who likes to cut loose.
Look...
(Snowman laughs)
I'd love to, but you
know, I should probably-
- Aw.
- Yeah, get back.
'Cause, you know, technically I'm on call.
I should check with the boss, you know?
Well, surely a man like you
doesn't need to ask permission.
Oh, no. Of course not.
Then jump in. (water splashes)
(Snowman laughs)
Oh, wow.
Fuck.
I don't have a swimsuit.
(Victoria chuckles)
We promise not to look.
[Selene] I don't promise.
(Snowman chuckles)
God.
You know what?
You know what?
Let me get in this, all right?
(Snowman chuckles)
All right.
Sounds like we got a party brewing here.
(Victoria chuckles)
Vicki, Mother wouldn't
want us to drink too much.
Well, you know, I'm sure
two girls like yourselves
don't need to ask permission, do you?
(Selene chuckles)
- Smooth move.
(all laughing)
I'll be right back, all right?
- I'll be right fuckin' back.
- Okay.
(all laughing)
Fuck.
No, no, no.
You fuckin' problem.
No, no.
Fuck!
(cell phone rings) (fire crackling)
[Speaker] Thank you for
calling Crime Watch tip line.
What do you have to report?
Hi, yes.
Um, hi.
Uh, I'm calling about that robbery.
I have information about that robbery
at the County Bank and Trust.
(tense ominous music) (tires screeching)
(fire crackling)
Tell the elves...
The real Santa's here.
What?
Nevermind.
Just go tell 'em their ride is here.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
(Colin chuckles)
I'll tell 'em.
(fire crackling)
(door slams)
[Snowman] Uh, uh...
- What? What?
- We got problems, mate.
What kinda problems?
Clickbait problems, in the pool.
Women? - [Snowman] Yeah, two of 'em.
- Good looking?
- Oh, mate, hotter than hell.
Like fuckin' 10s.
You know what we say about 10.
"For we dare not touch the sun."
Dare not touch the sun, mate.
What the hell does that mean?
It means it's too good to be true.
So it's probably not.
So...
- Cops.
- Cops.
No, they wouldn't...
They would, Junior.
Sometimes storming the
building is the last thing they do.
They come in, do some
recon, and separate us.
Then disarm us, and then they
storm the goddamn building.
No, no, there's nothing on the scanners.
Are they still there?
Yeah. They're waiting
for me to bring them beers.
So they're staying in the hotel?
Yeah, that's what they said.
With their mum.
Okay, go back.
Go back?
Yes, go back. Play nice.
Why? (chuckles)
Stall for time.
[Father Christmas] You go with him.
- Me?
- Yes.
Why?
Because it's gonna be a lot harder
to take two of you than one of you.
We'll keep an open line of
communication with Blake, okay?
They won't move on you
if they don't know who you're talking to.
They think it'll spook us,
and they know we're armed.
Are you sure?
I mean, that will look odd.
It'll look like you're
making a business call.
Trust me, they are not gonna make a move
if they do not know who you're talking to.
It could just be two girls
interested in my British
charms though, right?
Stop drinking.
We need to stall for time here.
Are we on the move?
Yes.
Rudolph's nearly back,
he'll be here any minute.
You keep that open line,
as soon as I give you the signal,
you double time it back
here, and we're out.
Roger that.
(gun clatters)
Hey, Snowman.
Aren't they expecting beers?
(bottles clanging)
- Uh, oh, yeah.
Hey, these are for the girls.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Check the scanners, okay?
Yeah.
Just a bit of chatter, but
nothing in this direction.
Okay, can you use the
hotel network at all
to find out where those girls are?
Like what room they're in?
Why?
Because I want you
to go and check it out.
See if they're legit.
How do I do that?
I don't know, Blake!
You're fuckin' smart!
You got a double doctorate
from MIT, I hear,
a degree from fuckin'
six other universities.
You're a genius, apparently!
Does it sound like that when I say it?
Well, yeah, but, but a little more whiny.
- Sorry.
- Okay.
Sorry.
(tense music)
Okay, I'm sorry.
Look, hey, help me. Just find them.
Find something out about them. Anything.
Okay. Where are you going?
I'm gonna make sure there isn't
a mounting police
barricade building outside.
Until then, you're in charge.
Okay.
Cool.
(Prancer clears throat)
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(fire crackling)
(Rudolph coughs)
Sorry, did I scare you?
Nobody scares Rudolph, darling.
Rudolph?
(Mother chuckles)
You probably should complain
to the costume store.
Well, you know, you're right.
This thing does make me
look a little portly.
(Mother laughs)
They said you were funny.
Oh, yeah? Who said I was funny?
The guys.
They're packing up inside.
I thought they would've
been dying to get outta here.
I probably shouldn't tell you but,
they're having a bit of a party in there.
Wrapping up the bar with
a couple of my girls.
Sounds fun.
Mm.
Well...
You probably have time for at least one,
before that lot are ready.
Well, I'd imagine, but I'm the DD.
Oh, well...
It's nice to have a man around
that takes responsibility and control.
You know, my mom would
love to hear you say that.
Tell you the truth, I couldn't
wait to get out of there,
and back to my room.
Out here?
No. (chuckles)
I just came for a quick cigarette.
Aren't you cold?
A little.
Wanna come inside?
Nah, I'm good. (fire crackling)
They're probably gonna need
your help to carry 'em out.
Carry who out?
You can probably guess which one of them
was a little too thirsty for his own good.
Yeah.
I imagine it's the same
guy that said it was funny.
Yup.
(Mother chuckles)
That Jack is such a bastard.
But you know what?
He doesn't know shit but fuck.
Well, Jack said all the
right things about you.
Come inside.
Oh, listen...
Let me take care of this, and you go on in.
Oh...
There is no Jack, is there?
(tense music swells)
I don't know. I've never
met these guys before.
Now listen, I know what
you're trying to sell,
and I ain't buying.
'Cause I'm not drunk, I'm not stupid,
and I'm certainly not desperate.
(chuckles) But you're isolated.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
(intense unnerving music)
And alone.
And unarmed.
(Rudolph screams) (Mother snarling)
Jesus, really?
Oh, relax.
It's just a flash grenade.
Feels a bit fuckin' heavy for two girls.
(chuckles) Yeah?
Well, it could be two girls
and the whole goddamn police
force for all we know.
Yeah, it could just be two girls.
Oh, Jesus, just let stop you right there.
- It could be.
- It could be what?
It could be two girls just wanting
to fuckin' hang out with me.
(laughs) Really?
Yes!
Hey, wait.
Did you tell me you're rich?
No.
Sorry, mate. That was your one exception.
Well, it could be.
It could be two what?
Two hotter than hell girls
just trying to seduce you?
Is that what we're thinking now?
Cunt!
(Grinch laughs)
Welcome back, Batman.
It's just that they were fuckin'-
- I get it, all right?
I ain't even seen them, and I get it.
Shh.
But that's just misdirected, bro.
(tense music)
Oh, Jesus Christ. And you
shouldn't be drinking either.
Fuck off.
(tense music continues)
Hello?
Okay, God.
Here we go.
We are due a minute.
Okay.
(Prancer clears throat)
(keyboard clacking)
Who are you?
(tense music continues)
Room 666.
(draws clattering)
Okay.
No, no, no no.
(drawers clattering)
(tense music continues)
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
(Prancer clears throat)
(unnerving music)
(Mother snarling)
- Oh, God.
What God?
No, no, well, I don't mean...
Ugh!
If I could tell you
how many men and women
pray to God in their final moments.
I don't know, hundreds?
Thousands.
Oh, right. I see.
And if I could tell you how many
God took the time to save...
We can't just leave him here like this.
They'll see this.
We're not going to.
(tense unnerving music)
Mommy wants a daddy.
And this one's smart.
Me likes.
Me wants.
And so me will have.
Oh, man.
Uh, yeah, I...
Oh...
Lock the fire exits.
All of them.
(tense ominous music continues)
This won't take long.
In my sunrise, you'll get
everything you deserve.
(tense ominous music continues)
(Mother snarling)
(tense ominous music continues)
Hey, he's back!
(Victoria chuckles)
And he brought a handsome friend.
Yeah, and something
your mother wouldn't like.
- Woo!
- Woo!
(Victoria and Selene chuckling)
(Victoria laughing)
(bottles clanging)
Ah-ah.
This is a no work zone.
Yeah? Tell that to my boss.
Yeah, Blake. I'm still here.
Right.
Who's up for strip poker?
(Selene chuckles)
I thought British men were gentleman.
We fuckin' are.
Which is why...
I'm gonna give you girls a
lead by taking off my boots.
(Selene and Victoria
laughing) (water splashes)
(snow crunching)
(door creaks) (tense eerie music)
(tense eerie music continues)
Whoa.
What...
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
(Blake clears throat)
(snow crunching)
(cell phone buzzes)
Blake, what did you find?
[Blake] It's Satanic shit.
Say that again?
It sounded like you said "Satanic shit".
I don't know.
Like, they could be Devil
worshipers or something.
Okay.
No, no, no. Get back to the bar.
Don't hang around, Blake.
Okay.
(tense eerie music)
Hey, Siri.
Send a text message to the Grinch.
"Not cops."
Send.
(text message beeps)
(cell phone beeping)
Hey, yo.
Maybe this is a miracle.
(Victoria chuckles)
What is?
Us finding you hotties.
(Victoria chuckles)
- Really?
Yeah. They haven't
even seen "The Departed".
(Snowman laughs) Have you?
Whoa!
Who hasn't seen "The Departed"?
Us?
(Snowman and Selene chuckling)
Told you.
They haven't seen it,
nevermind lived anything like it.
Well, that's great fuckin' news.
Isn't it?
(Snowman chuckles)
Well, it's great news,
because we're gonna have
to watch it together.
Oh.
Is this a Christmas movie?
Jesus Christ. (Snowman chuckles)
You should marry that one, bud.
I'll leave you two, you know?
All right, girls, I wanna fuckin' know,
is why we still got our fuckin' pants on!
Come on then!
Hey, Siri, call Rudolph.
(cell phone ringing)
(Rudolph's cell phone rings)
(gun clicking)
(cell phones ringing) (tense ominous music)
(snow crunching)
(tense ominous music continues)
(light clicks) (unnerving music)
Run.
Get out of here.
What?
Get out of here.
Now.
Who are you?
Now.
(ominous music)
Yummy.
(tense unnerving music)
You smell good.
[Genie] No, no, stop.
Don't worry.
I'll leave some for you.
(blood squelching) (Lucia yelps)
(Lucia groans)
(Lucia screams)
(Genie gasps)
(Blake and Genie grunting)
How did you do that?
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Get me out.
It was just a spoon.
[Genie] I know. Hey.
It was just a spoon.
Yeah, I see that.
Can you...
There's a key behind you.
What?
Grab the key.
[Blake] What?
Grab the key behind you!
(tense music)
Right.
[Genie] Right, yeah.
[Blake] Right.
- Okay, right.
- Hurry, hurry.
There's others left. They're coming.
I'm Genie.
What?
I'm Genie.
- Oh, I'm Blake.
- Blake.
Thanks.
Okay, this one, hurry, please.
(tense music continues)
Okay, let's go!
(Rudolph's cell phone ringing)
(tense ominous music)
(snow crunching)
(tense ominous music continues)
Fuck.
Call the Grinch.
(tense ominous music continues)
(cell phone rings) (lighter flicks)
Yeah.
Grinch, get back to the bar double-time.
They're not cops. We've got a new problem.
Okay, you got it.
(door slams) - [Father Christmas] Just go!
I got it.
(tense ominous music continues)
Sorry, buddy.
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(festive Christmas music) (water splashes)
(Victoria and Selene laughing)
You girls like it when I go down.
(festive Christmas music continues)
(water bubbling)
(Snowman shouts)
(Snowman laughs) (water splashes)
Ladies?
(Snowman chuckles)
Where'd you go?
(Snowman chuckles)
Oh, right.
Sexy little game of hide and seek, is it?
(Snowman laughs)
(soft eerie music)
Don't fuck with me. Don't fuck with me.
Ladies?
(woman gasps) (intense ominous music)
What the fuck is going on?
Look, I don't want any of these jokes.
I don't want any of these fuckin' jokes!
Come on!
(Snowman grunts)
(intense ominous music continues)
Don't fuck with me!
I've been nice, girls,
but don't fuck with me!
(girls laughing)
(water splashes) (Snowman grunts)
Fuckin'!
What the fuck?
(Snowman grunts)
(intense ominous music continues)
It's all right, it's all right.
Just fuckin' around, aren't you?
Just fuckin' around.
Just fuckin' around, just fuckin' around.
(bottle splashes)
Cunts!
Got it.
Sorry to break up the party.
(intense string music)
(Grinch yells)
Snowman!
Snowman!
(eerie bellowing)
What the fuck?
(intense eerie music)
(intense eerie music continues)
My baby.
How?
How did they get in here?
I do not know.
How did they even know
which room we were in?
(tense eerie music)
Girls?
We had a smack.
Where's Lucia?
Mother, where's sister-to-be?
Girls, bad news.
Genie killed our sister,
with the help of our Christmas snacks.
(Colin chokes)
- Where are they?
They're all still there.
Not all of 'em.
Victoria?
We ate one.
The other one ran away.
I like it when they run.
He might call for help.
They can't call anyone.
That's why we picked them.
(tense music)
Can I kill him?
Put him down.
(tense music continues)
Go.
And you?
I'll deal with you later.
Thank you.
(Colin exhales)
Oh, God. (dramatic music swells)
Hey. We got big fuckin' problems.
Yeah, I know.
Who the hell is that?
Whoa, not one of the problems.
[Grinch] I didn't ask you, Junior.
Hey, where's Snowman?
I don't know.
I only left him for a minute, but-
- He's dead.
Trust me.
Well, you said they weren't dangerous!
I said they weren't cops.
[Genie] They're not.
Yeah, thanks.
I fuckin' worked that out!
Okay, she's trying to help us.
From what?
A bunch of serial killers?
[Genie] Kind of.
Listen, sweetheart.
I got zero fuckin' patience with you!
All right, all right, stop.
Then what?
Vampires.
Yep. It's a big fuckin' problem.
Yep, we need to move.
Clear?
Crystal.
Oh, really?
I was worried that was gonna
take much longer to explain.
I got this.
We need crucifixes.
I'm an atheist.
You would be.
Garlic.
I'm allergic.
Who the hell are you again?
Uh, sunlight.
(cell phone beeps)
Hey Siri. What time does the sun rise?
[Siri] Sunrise is at 7:45 AM today.
Goddamn it.
Well, we gotta find our way outta here.
(keys jingling) (tense music)
Well, what the hell are
we still doing here?
Couldn't agree more. Grab the door.
Here, take this.
And you, take this.
Listen.
You both follow me, right behind me.
Okay? Don't stop.
Okay, okay.
Go!
[Genie] So, which one
of them is in charge?
Well, I was in charge for a while.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's really cool.
(intense unnerving music)
Hey. Merry Christmas.
Mother doesn't want you
boys to check out just yet.
And you, sister-to-be-
- Please, don't hurt them.
Oh, we're gonna do
way more than hurt them.
And you.
Well then...
Stop! They're really dangerous.
[Father Christmas] Grinch, Grinch...
This is for Snowman.
(bones crunching) (Grinch grunts)
(tense music)
Stupid boy.
Get up, up!
Wait in the bar! Get in the bar!
Go, go, go!
Go, go!
(dramatic music)
- Boys will be boys.
(Grinch groans)
- In, in, in.
(Grinch grunts)
[Grinch] Bro, she decimated
my fucking shoulder!
It's all right.
We can make it if we head to the tree line.
[Genie] No, you can't.
(Grinch grunts)
I need a fuckin'
painkiller here or something.
[Blake] Yeah, I know how to fix it.
What?
[Blake] Yeah. - [Father
Christmas] You do?
[Blake] Yeah.
(tense music)
Hey, hey, you know what has to happen.
- Bite down.
- Wait, wait, wait!
(Grinch mumbling)
- Bite down.
On three.
One, two... (socket crunching)
(Grinch yells)
Let him go, let him go, let him go.
(Grinch groans)
Grinch, okay?
You need to focus, okay?
You're gonna be okay.
(hand pats)
- Hey!
Sorry, sorry.
Jesus, sorry.
Look, we need to get out of here.
You cannot outrun Mother.
[Father Christmas] In a car?
You won't make it to the car.
She's right.
Hey, look.
Why the fuck are we listening
to any of these kids?
'Cause we're the smart ones.
Hey, smart one...
We don't know what the hell she is.
They called her fuckin' sister.
Because I am. (tense mysterious music)
Okay? I...
Or at least I'm gonna be.
[Blake] What?
(tense mysterious music continues)
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, fuck this, man. We gotta go.
They want you to run.
They're hunting you!
[Grinch] So what do we fuckin' do then?
We do what we've always done.
We be unpredictable.
(tense unnerving music)
[Father Christmas] Grinch.
(tense ominous music)
[Blake] Hey, hey, hey!
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
Where are they?
They...
They barricaded themselves in the bar.
Sounds like the actions
of a bunch of boys to me.
Look, they have guns!
[Mother] Which can't hurt us.
Look, gunfire is gonna draw the cops.
Were close to town, and they'll hear that.
They can't hurt us.
They won't do that.
Well, they will if they
think you're gonna attack.
Which is exactly why we won't.
Look, it's almost sunrise.
And before it does,
we have a little Trojan Horse in with them.
And she's turning.
Let's see how loyal a hungry dog is.
(tense unnerving music)
Hi.
Hi. Hey.
You okay?
I'm sorry he did that.
All right. Enough, Romeo.
Step back.
Our boy says he rescued you.
He did.
How did he kill the one guarding you?
Silver.
Silver?
[Blake] The spoon.
My spoon?
Hey, I want that back.
[Blake] Well, it's a murder weapon now.
You don't want it.
[Grinch] It's my fuckin' spoon!
Is the most important thing we have
going on right now your spoon?
Not really.
So, those things, they really
are what you say they are?
Yeah.
And you, you're turning into one of them?
Not by choice.
Does that matter?
No.
Are you gonna help us?
Yes.
And why the fuck should we believe that?
Because I don't wanna become one of them.
Okay?
I can help you, okay?
I can help you guys.
I can, I will.
Just please, don't let
me become one of them.
Well, I can agree to that deal right now.
Shh.
Is there a cure?
Yes, okay?
Mother says there's a way to undo it.
And look, I'm sorry, but
we're not looking for a fight.
We're looking for a way out here.
Well, right.
Well, the sunlight, right?
They can't be in the sun.
That's still a while away.
How many of them are there?
[Genie] There's three.
And our weapons?
Might slow them down, but
it won't actually hurt them.
[Blake] Are you talking about UV light?
[Genie] What?
I've got a few grenades
that say otherwise.
Yes, but we need to keep a low profile.
[Grinch] I'm trying to not get eaten.
Okay, shut up.
Jesus, shut the fuck up.
[Grinch] This better be good, sunshine.
Otherwise, you're bitch number two
I'll slap with the rifle butt.
UV light.
It's the same as sunlight.
So what?
(tense music)
Stun grenades.
They have blinding UV light in them.
So it'll kill any of her kind?
She's one of us.
Nope.
She's apparently turning
into something else.
Only one way to find out.
Whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. (stun grenade beeps)
Come on, come on!
No, no, no.
No...
Are you serious? Come on, Grinch.
Come on, Grinch! (stun grenade beeps)
(Genie yelps)
(stun grenade thuds) (Genie screams)
Tell my girls to bring
them here, dead or alive.
I'm on it, I'm on it.
You're an asshole.
Relax. It didn't kill her.
Well, I guess she's turning.
It did hurt.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay, it's not your fault.
If it makes you feel better,
you can eat him first
when it comes down to it.
[Genie] Yeah, I think I will.
All right, we gotta focus.
We need to find our way out of here,
'cause they're not gonna
let us just wait it out.
The car.
That's what they'll expect.
Agreed.
So we take that off the table, okay?
Like, what else have we got?
What do we know?
[Blake] About vampires?
Yeah.
Like, anything.
Anything at all that would help.
The word vampire originated
from a Slavic myth.
Shut up, Encyclopedia Brown.
All right, look, I didn't
wanna say anything.
No, go on.
I feel stupid bringing it up.
Mate, if it helps...
Well, I've actually read
all the "Twilight" books.
(Father Christmas laughs)
(Genie chuckles)
Uh, are you serious?
Hey, my wife liked them, okay?
That's...
That's very helpful.
I'm in shock.
Hey, they aren't bad.
I'm in shock you have a wife.
You little shit... Hey, stop!
Listen.
You can't outrun them, so don't even try.
But those grenades?
Yeah, they're gonna keep them
away until the sun rises.
That's our play. The grenades.
We take the grenades,
and we slip out through the
back, through the tunnels.
I wouldn't risk going out in the open.
But if we are out in the
open and they're hunting us,
they're out in the open.
We're exposed, they're exposed.
They can hide behind nothing.
I guess it's as good a plan as any.
All right, well let's not wait around,
'cause they are not gonna
let us sit in the bar all night.
We're taking Genie, right?
- No!
- No!
She helped us.
Blake, maybe that isn't the best idea.
Hey, I'm smart. Super smart.
I have a double doctorate from MIT.
- Jesus.
- God, Blake!
What? What?
You told me to start
making better decisions.
That's what I'm doing.
I meant tomorrow.
Make better decisions tomorrow.
Tonight, could you just
follow my decisions?
Well, I'm making an early start.
Ugh, fuck. Fine!
Whoa, whoa, wait, you serious?
If we set off another
grenade, it's gonna hurt like hell.
You know...
It's probably still better than
what they're gonna do to me.
(glass shatters) (jarring music)
Jesus.
Oh, I don't have a weapon.
I bet you could use a
spoon right about now.
Oh my God. Let it go.
You should probably let that one go.
(chair clatters) (intense ominous music)
(Selene hisses)
(Father Christmas grunts)
(bottles clattering)
(Grinch yells)
(Father Christmas yells)
Get the fuck off me!
(Grinch grunts)
(Victoria grunts) (Grinch grunts)
(stun grenade beeping)
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
(stun grenade beeping)
No, no, no, not again.
(Selene screams)
[Grinch] Yeah!
(Christmas tree clanging)
(Genie gasps)
Oh, thank God.
I thought you were an atheist.
(Blake and Genie laughing)
[Father Christmas] Hey, hey.
Come on.
We gotta go.
Okay, right.
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(tense ominous music)
(Mother hums)
Mother!
(Victoria gasps)
What was this?
Some kind of sun weapon.
A bomb.
It killed your sister?
Yes.
Then let's go make
them pay, little darling.
- No mercy.
- None whatsoever.
(tense mysterious music)
(Father Christmas grunts)
Just give me a minute.
Um, so, what's the plan?
These doors...
They let you across the
courtyard to the squash courts.
(tense music)
So...
So, it's a dead end.
Which is not a bad place to be
with your back up against the wall,
when you've got one of these.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
Wait out there till sunrise.
Okay, good. Let's go.
(Blake grunts)
- You're real smart.
Double doctorate, right?
Uh, yeah.
I'm fucked.
And she's coming.
Go on.
Take care of yourself.
(Father Christmas grunts)
You're...
You're not a breaking
rule number one, are you?
(soft tense music) (Father
Christmas chuckles)
Yeah.
But only because you started
making better decisions.
(keys jingling)
Off you go.
Come on, fuck off.
(soft tense music continues)
Take care of yourself.
(Father Christmas grunts)
Fuck.
Well...
This was a real good idea for the holidays.
Oh, okay.
Maybe we didn't think this through.
What do you mean?
There's no windows.
We won't know when the sun comes up.
Uh, uh, okay.
Oh, okay, new plan, new plan.
I'll go back, I distract them,
and then you make a for the car.
- No.
- Yeah.
- No.
- I'm being serious, I-
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I am gonna find a way to
stop you from turning, okay?
So, let's just make it through the night.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we can do that.
Okay.
Just as long as you
stay by my side, okay?
(Blake chuckles)
I'm not going anywhere.
(Genie chuckles) (soft music)
(jarring ominous music)
(Father Christmas grunts)
(Father Christmas breathes heavily)
No, I'm okay.
My fat fallen, I'll be fine.
You don't have any, do you?
And funny too.
An admirable quality for
someone who's at death's door.
I'd like something.
Do you wanna know what?
No I don't really give a fuck
if I tell the truth, no.
I'd like you to beg for your life.
(Father Christmas coughs)
Seeing as how we won.
Everyone's dead, or about to be.
Like, did you really think you could win?
Didn't GEnie tell you
we're stronger and faster?
(Father Christmas laughs)
What's so funny?
(Father Christmas laughs) (tense music)
She told me..
But she also said...
That you won, but I'm smarter.
(stun grenade beeping)
(intense music) (Victoria gasps)
(Victoria hisses)
(stun grenade thuds) (Victoria screams)
Whoa.
You think that was both of them?
No.
Why?
Mother Hunts alone.
(unnerving music)
Why, oh why, are you doing this?
Not for my little girl, surely.
Because she's not gonna suck
you off in the way you'd like.
You tell me how to stop her from turning,
and I'll let you live.
Brave little boy.
(Blake grunts) (tense music)
(Blake groans)
Hey!
Step back.
(tense music continues)
Step back.
Then kill us both.
Yeah.
And he'll live.
Baby, just a few more minutes.
It'll all be over.
I said step back.
Do not turn your back on your mother!
Hey, hey, it's okay.
Come on.
(Blake grunts)
Hey, you're good.
Come here.
(Blake grunts) (tense ominous music)
Hey. You okay?
Yeah. Never been better.
Are we trapped?
Yeah.
We have this.
We need to get her in here.
Blake, it's...
My hands are healed, it's already happened.
I'm too late?
Yeah, afraid so.
Are you gonna eat me?
No.
You're gonna kill me before that happens.
No, no.
I'm not gonna do that.
You said you were gonna help me.
Well, this is how you're gonna do it.
(soft music)
Turn me.
What?
Yeah.
I mean, you can do that now
that you're one of them, right?
- Yeah, I can.
- Then do it.
I'm not going to.
Why?
Because you need to
live, for the both of us.
She's not gonna let me live.
Mother...
That's right, little boy.
I'd rather it was you.
Kill him, Genie.
Or I will.
And I won't be half as nice as you'd be.
Genie, it's okay.
I want you to.
Eat him up, little baby.
He should be your first.
It's okay.
Are you sure?
It'll be fun.
(Genie and Blake chuckling)
I'm so sorry.
I really didn't want to have to do this.
(soft dramatic music)
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(soft dramatic music continues)
Oh my God.
(soft dramatic music continues)
What did I...
Don't worry, baby.
Everybody gets through their first.
It's hard, I know.
(soft dramatic music continues)
(stun grenade beeping)
Told you I could be an actress.
(stun grenade beeping)
(stun grenade thuds) (flames whooshing)
(clock ticking)
Housekeeping!
(Colin breathes heavily)
(Colin grunts)
(tense ominous music)
(doorknob rustles)
(Blake grunts)
Good job, Blake.
(Blake grunts)
(intense music)
(Blake grunts)
(car engine revs)
(intense music continues)
(intense music continues)
(door thuds)
Oh...
This is the worst Christmas ever!
Ah, shit!
(jarring ominous music)
Ho, ho, ho!
(Rudolph cackles) (intense unnerving music)
(soft acoustic music)
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
(dark ominous music)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
(logo whooshing) (dark ominous music fades)
(static beeping) (dark music)
(dramatic string music)
(logo whooshing)
(sleigh bells jingling) (bats squeaking)
(festive rock music)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(festive rock music continues)
(bright festive jingle)
[Radio Host] Merry Christmas!
[Presenter] KQNY3.
Upstate New York Radio.
[Randy] This is Randy McChatten,
with more news and weather updates.
But first, it's the holiday season.
Looking for that perfect stocking stuffer?
Well, today's show is brought to you by...
Snake Bite Cologne, from Eccentrip.
Put a little bite in your bark.
Tonight's forecast, snow,
snow, and lots more snow.
Bundle up, stay warm,
and get ready for some serious winter.
Details still coming in,
but early reports confirm,
five men robbed the Wisconsin
County Bank and Trust
at 3:35 this afternoon.
At gunpoint, they held
locals and staff hostage
for about 90 seconds,
before speeding away in a
four by four Jeep style vehicle.
Police and mayor's office
offering a $50,000 reward
for any information that
may lead to an arrest.
Police are investigating links
that the clearly foreign
team of armed robbers
had help from somewhere in
this small and peaceful town,
as they seemed focused
and knowledgeable about
local procedures and security protocols
on the inner workings of the bank.
Police are referring to them
as the "Santa Hat Bandits".
They're dressed in the Santa Claus attire,
and said to be armed
and extremely dangerous.
(radio whooshes)
This broadcast is brought to you by...
(bell dings) Mr. Beaver's Hardware Store.
For all your home improvement
and gardening needs.
Checking in. (chuckles) (Snowman spits)
[Randy] And don't forget
to celebrate Christmas...
(thud rumbling)
Right.
Yes.
Uh, you're...
Well...
Uh, wat name is the reservation under?
Scrooge. (soft jazzy piano music)
Of course.
Ah.
Yeah, I have you here.
You're a day late.
(soft jazzy piano music continues)
I assume you need our
IDs and credit cards
for incidentals.
Well, yeah. Normally we like to have-
- I'm fucking joking.
Where's the room?
Oh.
Of course.
It's down here.
(soft jazzy piano music continues)
Is now a good time to ask for the Wi-Fi?
Or hardwire connection ethernet?
Okay, forget it.
(soft jazzy piano music continues)
It's this way.
(trash bag rustles)
(door creaks)
Oh, what the fuck is this?
I'd love a fuckin' drink.
Take this.
Where's our rooms?
Uh, Mr. Scrooge reserved a room
that you wouldn't be disturbed in.
Something larger.
Not for five.
Yeah, our fifth man is on the way.
He'll be here.
Yes, but you can't have five in the room.
It's against the fire regulations.
(laughs) Yeah.
God forbid we do anything
illegal, aye, boys?
(Snowman laughs)
Why can't we have a room each?
Well, you can.
That you can't. We're staying together.
Okay? We arrive together,
and we're gonna leave together.
That's the plan, Grinch.
I want to take a shower, and a shit.
And jerk off and relax.
And I can't do that
with Blake staring at me
like a lost puppy.
They said that we'd use our code names.
I'm Prancer.
Shut it, Blake.
I didn't hear that.
Uh, I can get you some more bedding, sir.
Can you give me a sponge bath too?
Stop.
This is fine. Thank you.
And please, help yourself-
- Yeah, way ahead of you, pal.
Uh, anything else?
Food.
No, we're fine.
(bottle thuds)
Who's got a knife?
Yeah, mate.
Right fuckin' here. (trash bag rustles)
You want it?
Bloody hell, you're not fucking Rambo.
It's a fucking knife, mate.
(knife clatters)
We gotta talk.
Right.
We're not to be disturbed, at all.
Yes, sir.
(door creaks) Night.
I am hungry.
Is there anything
behind the bar he can eat?
Yeah, peanuts.
And we're not paying peanuts,
so stop acting like a fucking monkey.
Settle down!
Fine.
I'll just waste away here.
I...
I actually have an extra protein bar.
I thought I told you to fuckin' shut up.
I don't want your fuckin' protein bar.
Okay.
Prancer.
Set up the radio.
Right. On it.
See if anybody's coming our way.
Grinch, make yourself useful.
Do the walk around, place the sensors.
Snowman! Stop drinking.
And do the weapons check.
And everybody, before you
do anything else, strip.
Oh, I knew it was gonna
be that kind of party.
(Snowman chuckles)
(Father Christmas sighs)
What the hell are you so happy about?
Beer?
Yeah.
Too fuckin' right, beer.
And $1 million richer! (trash bag rustling)
(Snowman laughs) (Father
Christmas chuckles)
(hands tapping)
No wonder you got the code name "Grinch".
Hey, you said that was
because I stole Christmas!
Yeah, it was.
That's what I believe what happened. Yeah.
[Grinch] Well, I want a new code name.
No, we're not switching.
You got the names you got,
and we're sticking with them.
Well, that's okay for
you, Father Christmas.
I like Prancer.
Shut it, Blake!
Why can't I be Snowman?
Snowman is cool.
Like he's some ice cold hitman.
So why the fuck does Dumbo get that name?
(Snowman snorts)
(Snowman grunts)
Fuck.
I don't know why he got the name he got.
He just did.
Well, no switching names!
End of discussion.
Whatever.
Let's just get this over with, huh?
I got a wife and a dog I gotta get home to.
Lucky bitches.
(Snowman laughs)
What'd you say?
Oh my God. Stop!
Hey!
Everybody shut the fuck up and strip.
(upbeat guitar music)
Now!
Come on. Let's go!
(upbeat guitar music continues)
Go on then.
(trash bag rustling)
This belt!
(upbeat guitar music continues)
(upbeat guitar music continues)
(upbeat guitar music fades)
(car beeps)
(car door slams) (Rudolph whistles)
(Rudolph continues whistling)
God, I fuckin' love Christmas.
(Rudolph whistles)
(cap clatters)
(Rudolph continues whistling)
(mellow festive music)
(video game beeping)
(bell dings) (door creaks)
Hey, what the fuck, Santa?
Ooh.
Why don't you guys go out back
and jingle each other's balls?
(mellow festive music)
(Becky chuckles)
That's a cool costume.
It's more of a uniform, really.
Oh, right. Right.
I can see that.
Look, can we hurry this along?
I got a lot of places I gotta be tonight.
(Becky chuckles)
You're killing me.
Seriously.
Hurry the fuck up.
(tense ominous music)
Okay.
Okay. It's 19.28 for the gas.
(tense ominous music continues)
Merry fuckin' Christmas.
(tense ominous music continues)
(cell phone beeps)
[Operator] 911. What's your emergency?
Hi, this is Becky over at Islands Gas.
[Operator] Okay. I have
your location pulled up.
What's your emergency?
Yeah, I don't know if
this is an emergency or not,
but Santa came in here and...
Yeah, I think he killed someone for sure.
[Operator] All right, ma'am.
I've got the police on the way.
(tense ominous music continues)
(tense ominous music continues)
(Colin knocks)
(tense ominous music continues)
(Colin gasps)
They're here.
(tense ominous music fades)
[Ted] Thank you for joining us out there.
We're playing all of the Christmas hits
from yesteryear and today.
Now we go to Debra for the weather.
[Debra] Uh, yes, Ted.
It's a frosty 12 degrees outside, so,
keep those chestnuts
roasting on the open fire,
or else you'll get some frostbite
in some unexpected places.
[Ted] Well, that would
be mildly inconvenient.
That's probably why I'm wearing
four pairs of pants tonight.
(tense ominous music)
(tense ominous music continues)
(tense ominous music continues)
(match flicks)
Bad dreams?
You know, when I was a child,
many, many years ago,
(chains rattling) I used
to wake up and smile.
(unnerving music)
Did you ever have that?
There's a split second when
you're probably still half asleep,
and you just smile.
It's because you're so
present in that moment.
And then...
(Selene snaps)
The world begins to flood your mind again.
All the shit you've done,
all the shit you haven't done...
All the shit you'll get blamed for doing,
whether you've done it or not.
And that smile's gone by the
time you brush your teeth.
That's what it's like, Genie.
(Selene laughs)
We live right here, right now,
right in this split second.
We have that bliss, always.
Nothing troubles our mind.
And that, sister, to me...
That's immortality.
(tense unnerving music)
Mm.
It's a pity you'll never feel it.
(Genie sobs)
Selene.
Please, stop.
If you take any more, I'm
just gonna bleed out and die.
Aw!
Another little tip...
Don't try and scare the
dead with the talk of dying.
(tense unnerving music continues)
(Genie screams)
(blood squelches) (Genie yells)
(Genie sobs)
(Grinch spits)
Ugh.
(Grinch gags)
What was that?
Expired.
No, not that. Didn't you hear that?
Actually, yeah.
[Blake] It was like a scream.
(tense ominous music)
Or something else.
[Blake] Like what?
I've heard that noise before.
It's like, this time of
year, it always happens.
That exact fuckin' noise.
Kinda like that squealing noise, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That Santa's reindeer, mate.
(Snowman laughs)
Okay, okay, okay.
(all laughing)
Yeah, that's not actually that funny.
Yes, it fuckin' is.
You see your stupid little face!
(unnerving music)
(blood squelches) (Genie yells)
(genie sobs) (footsteps stomping)
(unnerving music continues)
Mother!
Forgive me.
She was trying to escape.
(unnerving music continues)
Do not lie to me!
(Selene gasps)
(unnerving music continues)
Am I not good to you girls?
Yes, Mother.
[Victoria] Yes, Mother.
[Lucia] Yes, Mother.
Yes, Mother.
Do I not feed you?
Show you things no man has ever seen?
Always.
Always.
Yes, Mother.
(unnerving music continues)
[Mother] And this is
how you repay that love?
Is that what this is, Mother?
Love?
It is a mother's love,
which sometimes, my sweet,
must be strong and tough,
as young ladies are the
future of our family.
I'm hungry.
You're always hungry.
And Mother will provide.
Mother is here to tell
you that Lucifer himself
has provided not one, but
four delicious dishes.
Where?
Why, right here in this hotel.
Listen, my girls...
Can you not feel their blood?
Oh, yes.
(tense music) (heart beating)
Can you not feel their hearts beating?
Yes.
Can we play with them?
Why, of course!
It's Christmas, after all.
So, whatever your hearts desire.
Seducing and snacking.
Fucking and feeding.
Whatever your Christmas wish is, my baby.
(girls breathing heavily)
(tense unnerving music)
(device beeps)
(police radio chattering)
I've checked it twice.
Show me.
There's nothing to see.
The thermals motion, it's all down,
or it was never switched on.
Grinch, you switched the sensors on, right?
What?
The sensors.
What about them?
You switched them on, right?
Hey, drop the fuckin' attitude with me.
It's just a question.
A question designed
to make me look stupid.
Right, okay.
Did you switch them on or not?
How the fuck should I know?
Okay, so that's a no.
Hey, baby Einstein...
Maybe you should have switched them on
before you gave them to me.
Hey, enough!
Look, I realize we're all a little on edge.
Everybody calm down.
I get it, the plan's a
little close to the bone.
It's a smart plan.
Nobody is blaming the plan.
I might, if we get caught.
Please, can we try to stay positive?
Sorry.
When we get caught.
Look guys, this could all be over
by the time the sun
rises for three reasons.
Firstly, firstly, everyone is gonna expect
for us to put as much
distance as humanly possible
between us and the place that we've robbed.
And the fact that it is only
200 yards down the road,
makes us pretty hard to predict.
Not hard to find.
Yes, it does make us hard to find,
because nobody is looking here.
Every cop is following Rudolph.
He's taking them north.
He's leading them up the garden path.
He's the decoy driver, and he's good at it.
And he's gonna swing back
for us when we're all clear.
If he fuckin' comes back.
He will.
And why is that?
Because we have his money.
Exactly.
And when he does, we'll
take off in that car,
right onto the southbound road,
where nobody is looking.
We hope.
We will.
Guys, please, remember, it's Christmas Eve.
There's not gonna be one police officer
that's interested in manning the roadblocks
once they get a bite six
hours north of this location.
Plus, we didn't hurt anybody.
We didn't kill anybody.
We didn't embarrass the cops.
Because we were so fast, in and out.
And there's a storm coming.
You see this storm?
It's gonna provide cover,
but it does mean that we're a little blind.
So I don't know about you, Grinch,
but I'd really fuckin' like to know
if the cops are rolling up
at the end of the driveway.
Which means, we need the sensors.
So pretty please, with a
cherry on top, hop on it!
Well, I wouldn't wanna fuck it up twice.
Can I at least get a weapon?
Now you take care of that.
I reckon it's silver.
What?
I want it back.
It's a family heirloom.
It's a spoon.
Don't make me say it again.
Just go.
Can you go easy on him?
I am.
He doesn't belong
here, and you know that.
That's what I don't like.
He's the type that
snitches on us all later.
The old man doesn't seem to think so.
Scrooge ain't the one
gonna get snitched on.
So, what's the backup plan anyways?
What?
If someone catches Rudolph,
they're gonna realize pretty
quickly that he's a decoy,
and they'll come right back here.
He checks in every 30 minutes.
Okay?
And if he stops doing that,
then I'll start to worry,
and then we'll...
You know, we'll head out on foot.
For what?
There's a harbor.
So there's boats there and shit.
In winter?
Oh my God!
We're sticking with the
crazy, unpredictable plan.
Okay?
Sounds loose, man.
What does that mean?
Sounds like a bad plan.
It is a bad plan!
But we won't ever have to use it!
You know why?
Because Rudolph is an
excellent decoy driver.
He's been doing it for 30 fuckin' years,
and he's better than you!
I'm not worried if you're not.
Oh, shit. I'm super worried.
But obviously, that's my leadership skills
coming out to the forefront,
making you feel a false sense of security.
God, I really am good.
Which is why I get a higher cut.
Dick. (chuckles)
Thank you.
Speaking of, I should probably...
Is that him?
Well, no.
This is me checking in with him.
Because he's late!
He's a little late, but
you know, he likes a car nap.
Please be kidding.
(pool balls clattering)
(sirens blaring) (police radio chattering)
(tense ominous music)
Ooh, yeah.
Bunch of...
I guess it's time to run, run, Rudolph.
(police radio chattering)
(car engine revs)
(tense ominous music continues)
Okay, well, that's not
doing anything, is it?
(sensors beeping)
(sighs) Stupid.
Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
I'll clean up your mess too.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Whenever you guys need!
(tense ominous music continues)
(sensor beeps)
(tense ominous music continues)
(clock ticks)
(fire crackling)
(soft tense music)
(soft tense music continues)
(flames whooshing)
(soft tense music continues)
(soft tense music continues)
(gun cocks)
Uh, sorry.
What the fuck are you
doing sneaking up on someone
who's on the edge?
And they're armed.
You're on the edge?
Yeah.
Keep it a secret, will you?
Right. Okay.
Should we be worried?
No.
Was that a real no?
You'll never know.
- You wanna smoke?
- No.
No, thank you.
Those things are bad for you.
Is that right?
They can reduce your life
expectancy by 10 years.
Oh, I didn't know that.
[Blake] You can look it up.
What did it say about the
life expectancy of bank robbers?
Um, I would probably say
that there's not enough
data really to suggest...
(Prancer chuckles)
This is more of your
British sarcasm, isn't it?
See, you are a smart cookie.
You would think.
[Father Christmas] Why
on earth are you here?
What?
You don't look like you
belong on one of these jobs.
Gigs.
[Father Christmas] What?
We call them gigs.
You're smart, right?
Yeah. I have a double doctorate from MIT.
But no street smarts, I'm guessing.
Eh, how's that?
Because you're correcting the grammar
of a guy with a gun, who's on the edge.
That's how.
So you are on the edge.
I'm on the edge because
I'm a little worried
you came out here without
switching on the fucking sensors.
Oh, oh, they're all on.
They are?
Then maybe next time, start with that.
That's what I came out here to say,
and then you did the gun thing and-
- And you're uncomfortable around guns,
which leads me back to my first question.
Why on earth are you here?
Oh, fuckin' hell!
You're not trying to impress
some fuckin' girl, are you,
with a wad of cash?
(Prancer chuckles)
No, no. No, really, no.
So, what is it?
Um...
Uh, my dad.
(soft melancholic music)
What about your dad?
My dad had gambling debts.
Big ones.
To Scrooge?
Yeah.
And...
This sort of gets him even.
(fire crackling)
You're paying off your dad's debt?
That's a pretty honorable thing to do.
He would want me to do that.
He would want you to?
He's dead.
Yeah.
So you're paying off a dead man's debt?
We still owe the money.
Who still owes the money?
The family.
[Father Christmas] What do you mean?
Well, just me.
My mom died of cancer a few years back,
and so it's just me, I guess.
So, Scrooge said that I
could pay back this way.
(fire crackling)
I can do it.
Do what?
I can be one of you guys.
(Father Christmas snorts)
Oh, you're serious, right.
Look...
Blake, don't take this
the wrong way, but...
I don't think so.
One of these days, I'm gonna
die on one of these gigs,
and that's okay.
Because I've got nothing left to live for.
Nothing left to lose.
I've made every mistake you can think of,
and a few more probably.
And my one hope is that I absolve myself
by doing something so
magnanimous, so selfless,
that God might forgive me
for all the terrible things I've done.
I'll tell you the truth.
Even if I did that,
I still think I'm going straight to hell.
But you...
What? What about me?
You don't want this life.
Not really.
You never sleep, you never
enjoy anything, you can't relax.
It's nowhere.
It's not a life.
So do me one favor...
Make better decisions tomorrow,
because you could get what I've never had.
A life.
(soft tense music)
Do you really think that?
(soft tense music continues)
But that's tomorrow.
Whilst you're here, do me a favor,
and follow the fuckin' rules.
Right. What are the rules?
Only one. Rule number one.
Don't give a fuck about
anybody, anybody but yourself.
Okay?
Okay. Got it.
Now, go on. Fuck off back to the bar.
And Blake?
Next time, bring a fucking coat.
Right.
Sorry.
(soft tense music fades)
[Tony] Colin!
Hey, Tony!
The fuck you say to me?
I mean, Tony!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How long has it been?
A week.
No, not quite.
It's like only been six days.
Come on, come on.
I don't wanna work tomorrow, Colin.
You really want me to
come back here tomorrow?
Uh, well, I...
I, I...
I don't have it.
Ah, you don't have it?
- Well, it's coming.
- Are you okay?
Yeah, it's practically here.
It's basically here.
Are you okay?
Yeah, fine. You?
No, no, no, no. You seem a little weird.
I mean, you're always a little
bit weird, but more so today.
Uh, just too much eggnog.
Eggnog? (whimsical festive music)
Yeah.
I hear you.
(Tony sighs)
So, am I got to break
a finger here or what?
No, no, no.
Look, you said a week and-
- Colin!
A week is tomorrow.
Give me something.
Look, but...
But...
Look, I-
- [Tony] But?
- I got a down payment.
[Tony] A what?
Yeah.
It's like a show of good faith, huh?
What? Well, all right then.
Give me the fuckin' money.
- Okay.
- Where'd you get this?
Okay, like, tomorrow. Okay?
Where did you get this?
I...
It's just an early Christmas present.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, you know, just
business has been good.
Been good?
This place looks freakin' dead.
[Mother] Hi.
Oh, shit!
Sorry, sweetheart.
You gave me a freakin' heart attack.
- Whoops.
- Oh my God.
No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay.
If I'm gonna have one,
it should be from someone
who looks like you.
Well, I do hope it's
me that kills you then.
(Tony chuckles)
All right.
I see.
I get it, okay.
I see.
- You do?
- Yeah, I do. I do.
Colin is looking for some
more diversification.
All right?
You know, empty rooms, beautiful ladies.
Right?
Are you calling me a whore?
Oh, whoa, no, no, no.
What he means...
No.
(all laughing)
She's good, that's good.
So, how much?
No, no.
She's all booked up, all night.
Yeah, I bet. I bet she is.
Yeah, so, tomorrow.
Hm?
Yeah, tomorrow.
Will you still be here tomorrow?
Yeah, yeah, she will.
When the sun goes down.
Okay. All right.
That's good, that's good.
Because tomorrow I have
all the free time in the world,
and plenty of money.
(whimsical festive music)
[Mother] It's a date.
All right.
All right.
Tomorrow.
(whimsical festive music continues)
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't be.
When he comes back, I'm
gonna bite his dick off,
and watch him bleed out.
Gee, that sounds like fun.
Just, just...
Don't let them see you, okay?
Oh, Colin, you're no fun!
Mommy likes to play with her food.
Yeah, but just not yet.
(bottle shatters) (tense jarring music)
Don't ever tell me
what I can and cannot do.
Okay.
(glass clatters) (tense ominous music)
(objects clicking)
(pool balls clattering)
I fuckin' won!
It's pretty easy when
you're playing yourself, mate.
Ah, mate.
Not always. Not always!
(device beeping)
There's movement in the pool area.
In the pool area?
Yeah.
Might've been the night manager.
No, he is in reception.
I thought he said the place was empty.
Yeah, he did.
Snowman.
Time to earn your money.
Just wanted a fucking smoke.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
After.
(tense music)
[Snowman] Come on then, you cunt.
That's the spirit.
Do you know what a mother's love is?
(soft eerie music)
It's something very difficult to explain.
Impossible to teach, yet
equally impossible to remove
once you've awoken that sense.
(soft eerie music continues)
(Genie grunts)
Drink.
No, no...
No, no...
No, oh!
(soft eerie music swells)
[Mother] Drink.
Anything else?
Uh, yeah.
He was talking to some guy,
but nothing since then.
Yeah, he was talking to himself.
Talking to himself?
Yeah.
Show me.
(tense mysterious music)
(keyboard clacking)
(laptop beeps)
(tense mysterious music continues)
(tense mysterious music continues)
Where did you find her?
She was lost.
Wanted to be an actress.
Poor little girl.
But now she gets to play
the role of a lifetime.
Will she be like us?
In time.
(Victoria chuckles)
She hates us.
She fears us.
It's different.
She sees us as an end,
rather than an eye opening
beginning to her second life.
Do you remember your human life?
When you learn to walk,
you forget the days that
you could only crawl.
I remember, but only bits and pieces.
I had so much pain.
Didn't Mommy promise
you a world without pain?
(Genie grunts)
(Genie coughs)
My baby sister.
It will be the last time she feels pain.
(soft tense music)
Who are the men?
They're men no one will miss.
And no one will come looking for.
Selene says that they could be dangerous.
Don't worry, baby.
In this world, we're the hunters.
(soft tense music swells)
(jarring music) (clock ticking)
[Reporter] Police are still looking for
the so-called "Santa Hat Bandits".
If you have any information
on these ne'er-do-wells,
please contact your local authorities.
Everything good? (tense ominous music)
[Reporter] And remember...
Uh, I was just keeping an eye out.
You don't strike me as
someone that's too observant,
for somebody keeping an eye.
(Colin chuckles)
Ah...
It's too much eggnog.
(Colin and Father Christmas chuckles)
So, you seen anyone?
(tense ominous music)
No.
No one?
No, not a creature
stirring, not even a mouse.
So, no one's in the hotel?
Yeah, no, there is.
There is?
Yeah, yeah.
There's like a couple of college girls.
They're just passing through.
Oh.
Why didn't you say anything?
I, I, just...
Slipped my mind, I guess.
So they checked in after?
No, earlier.
Because, you know, you
were a day late, so I-
- Shh.
Let me ask you something else.
Do I look like a cunt?
What?
Do I look like a cunt?
What?
Let me switch it up for you.
Are you deaf?
No.
Are you blind?
No.
Do I look like a cunt?
No.
Then why are you treating me like one?
I-
- There was a guy in here 20 minutes ago.
Who the fuck was that?
No one.
Who the fuck was he?
No one.
No one? Lie to me again.
(gun clicks) Lie to me again.
One more time.
Who was that?
He's...
He's just a guy.
I owe him money.
He comes in every week.
Finally, something true.
Yeah, it is.
And what's it for?
The debt?
Yes, Colin. What's the debt for?
Gambling. I ran up a bill.
I had a streak of bad luck.
I tried to count cards.
Counting cards.
You gotta be pretty fuckin'
smart to count cards.
All right, fair.
And you don't strike me
as pretty fuckin' smart.
You know what you strike me as?
You strike me as the type of guy
that thinks he can play both
sides and get away with it.
Let me tell you something
I learned a long time ago.
Luck never favors a man that depends on it.
Okay. (tense music)
Lie to me again, watch your luck change.
Clear?
(tense music swells)
All right, good.
Good chat.
Keep an eye out. We're depending on you.
(Colin exhales) (tense music continues)
(soft ominous music)
(water splashes)
(Selene laughs)
(soft ominous music continues)
(Selene laughs)
Hey.
(Snowman chuckles)
Hello.
Are you British?
Oh, yeah.
Guilty as charged.
(Victoria chuckles)
Love that accent, right?
Yummy.
Well, you know, I've been
practicing for 35 years.
(Victoria and Selene laughing)
Did you wanna jump in?
Oh, no, no.
(Snowman laughs)
(water splashes)
(Snowman laughs)
Uh...
I was just checking out the facilities.
Smart man. Likes to see
what's on offer first.
Yeah. (chuckles)
Well, you know...
I should probably-
- Hey, um, apparently the bar's closed.
You wouldn't happen to have
any beers we could buy from you?
You know what?
I could probably do that.
(Victoria laughs) (Snowman chuckles)
But no charge.
No charge? (chuckles)
Well, nah.
Not for two beautiful
ladies such as yourselves.
Ladies?
What are we, old?
No, no, no, no. I meant lo-
- Mister, we're girls.
Girls that just wanna have fun.
(Victoria chuckles)
Which is a whole lot
easier with a few beers.
Am I right?
You're fuckin' right!
That's what I keep
tellin' the fuckin' boys!
(Snowman laughs)
Oh...
We appreciate a man
who likes to cut loose.
Look...
(Snowman laughs)
I'd love to, but you
know, I should probably-
- Aw.
- Yeah, get back.
'Cause, you know, technically I'm on call.
I should check with the boss, you know?
Well, surely a man like you
doesn't need to ask permission.
Oh, no. Of course not.
Then jump in. (water splashes)
(Snowman laughs)
Oh, wow.
Fuck.
I don't have a swimsuit.
(Victoria chuckles)
We promise not to look.
[Selene] I don't promise.
(Snowman chuckles)
God.
You know what?
You know what?
Let me get in this, all right?
(Snowman chuckles)
All right.
Sounds like we got a party brewing here.
(Victoria chuckles)
Vicki, Mother wouldn't
want us to drink too much.
Well, you know, I'm sure
two girls like yourselves
don't need to ask permission, do you?
(Selene chuckles)
- Smooth move.
(all laughing)
I'll be right back, all right?
- I'll be right fuckin' back.
- Okay.
(all laughing)
Fuck.
No, no, no.
You fuckin' problem.
No, no.
Fuck!
(cell phone rings) (fire crackling)
[Speaker] Thank you for
calling Crime Watch tip line.
What do you have to report?
Hi, yes.
Um, hi.
Uh, I'm calling about that robbery.
I have information about that robbery
at the County Bank and Trust.
(tense ominous music) (tires screeching)
(fire crackling)
Tell the elves...
The real Santa's here.
What?
Nevermind.
Just go tell 'em their ride is here.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
(Colin chuckles)
I'll tell 'em.
(fire crackling)
(door slams)
[Snowman] Uh, uh...
- What? What?
- We got problems, mate.
What kinda problems?
Clickbait problems, in the pool.
Women? - [Snowman] Yeah, two of 'em.
- Good looking?
- Oh, mate, hotter than hell.
Like fuckin' 10s.
You know what we say about 10.
"For we dare not touch the sun."
Dare not touch the sun, mate.
What the hell does that mean?
It means it's too good to be true.
So it's probably not.
So...
- Cops.
- Cops.
No, they wouldn't...
They would, Junior.
Sometimes storming the
building is the last thing they do.
They come in, do some
recon, and separate us.
Then disarm us, and then they
storm the goddamn building.
No, no, there's nothing on the scanners.
Are they still there?
Yeah. They're waiting
for me to bring them beers.
So they're staying in the hotel?
Yeah, that's what they said.
With their mum.
Okay, go back.
Go back?
Yes, go back. Play nice.
Why? (chuckles)
Stall for time.
[Father Christmas] You go with him.
- Me?
- Yes.
Why?
Because it's gonna be a lot harder
to take two of you than one of you.
We'll keep an open line of
communication with Blake, okay?
They won't move on you
if they don't know who you're talking to.
They think it'll spook us,
and they know we're armed.
Are you sure?
I mean, that will look odd.
It'll look like you're
making a business call.
Trust me, they are not gonna make a move
if they do not know who you're talking to.
It could just be two girls
interested in my British
charms though, right?
Stop drinking.
We need to stall for time here.
Are we on the move?
Yes.
Rudolph's nearly back,
he'll be here any minute.
You keep that open line,
as soon as I give you the signal,
you double time it back
here, and we're out.
Roger that.
(gun clatters)
Hey, Snowman.
Aren't they expecting beers?
(bottles clanging)
- Uh, oh, yeah.
Hey, these are for the girls.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Check the scanners, okay?
Yeah.
Just a bit of chatter, but
nothing in this direction.
Okay, can you use the
hotel network at all
to find out where those girls are?
Like what room they're in?
Why?
Because I want you
to go and check it out.
See if they're legit.
How do I do that?
I don't know, Blake!
You're fuckin' smart!
You got a double doctorate
from MIT, I hear,
a degree from fuckin'
six other universities.
You're a genius, apparently!
Does it sound like that when I say it?
Well, yeah, but, but a little more whiny.
- Sorry.
- Okay.
Sorry.
(tense music)
Okay, I'm sorry.
Look, hey, help me. Just find them.
Find something out about them. Anything.
Okay. Where are you going?
I'm gonna make sure there isn't
a mounting police
barricade building outside.
Until then, you're in charge.
Okay.
Cool.
(Prancer clears throat)
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(fire crackling)
(Rudolph coughs)
Sorry, did I scare you?
Nobody scares Rudolph, darling.
Rudolph?
(Mother chuckles)
You probably should complain
to the costume store.
Well, you know, you're right.
This thing does make me
look a little portly.
(Mother laughs)
They said you were funny.
Oh, yeah? Who said I was funny?
The guys.
They're packing up inside.
I thought they would've
been dying to get outta here.
I probably shouldn't tell you but,
they're having a bit of a party in there.
Wrapping up the bar with
a couple of my girls.
Sounds fun.
Mm.
Well...
You probably have time for at least one,
before that lot are ready.
Well, I'd imagine, but I'm the DD.
Oh, well...
It's nice to have a man around
that takes responsibility and control.
You know, my mom would
love to hear you say that.
Tell you the truth, I couldn't
wait to get out of there,
and back to my room.
Out here?
No. (chuckles)
I just came for a quick cigarette.
Aren't you cold?
A little.
Wanna come inside?
Nah, I'm good. (fire crackling)
They're probably gonna need
your help to carry 'em out.
Carry who out?
You can probably guess which one of them
was a little too thirsty for his own good.
Yeah.
I imagine it's the same
guy that said it was funny.
Yup.
(Mother chuckles)
That Jack is such a bastard.
But you know what?
He doesn't know shit but fuck.
Well, Jack said all the
right things about you.
Come inside.
Oh, listen...
Let me take care of this, and you go on in.
Oh...
There is no Jack, is there?
(tense music swells)
I don't know. I've never
met these guys before.
Now listen, I know what
you're trying to sell,
and I ain't buying.
'Cause I'm not drunk, I'm not stupid,
and I'm certainly not desperate.
(chuckles) But you're isolated.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
(intense unnerving music)
And alone.
And unarmed.
(Rudolph screams) (Mother snarling)
Jesus, really?
Oh, relax.
It's just a flash grenade.
Feels a bit fuckin' heavy for two girls.
(chuckles) Yeah?
Well, it could be two girls
and the whole goddamn police
force for all we know.
Yeah, it could just be two girls.
Oh, Jesus, just let stop you right there.
- It could be.
- It could be what?
It could be two girls just wanting
to fuckin' hang out with me.
(laughs) Really?
Yes!
Hey, wait.
Did you tell me you're rich?
No.
Sorry, mate. That was your one exception.
Well, it could be.
It could be two what?
Two hotter than hell girls
just trying to seduce you?
Is that what we're thinking now?
Cunt!
(Grinch laughs)
Welcome back, Batman.
It's just that they were fuckin'-
- I get it, all right?
I ain't even seen them, and I get it.
Shh.
But that's just misdirected, bro.
(tense music)
Oh, Jesus Christ. And you
shouldn't be drinking either.
Fuck off.
(tense music continues)
Hello?
Okay, God.
Here we go.
We are due a minute.
Okay.
(Prancer clears throat)
(keyboard clacking)
Who are you?
(tense music continues)
Room 666.
(draws clattering)
Okay.
No, no, no no.
(drawers clattering)
(tense music continues)
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
(Prancer clears throat)
(unnerving music)
(Mother snarling)
- Oh, God.
What God?
No, no, well, I don't mean...
Ugh!
If I could tell you
how many men and women
pray to God in their final moments.
I don't know, hundreds?
Thousands.
Oh, right. I see.
And if I could tell you how many
God took the time to save...
We can't just leave him here like this.
They'll see this.
We're not going to.
(tense unnerving music)
Mommy wants a daddy.
And this one's smart.
Me likes.
Me wants.
And so me will have.
Oh, man.
Uh, yeah, I...
Oh...
Lock the fire exits.
All of them.
(tense ominous music continues)
This won't take long.
In my sunrise, you'll get
everything you deserve.
(tense ominous music continues)
(Mother snarling)
(tense ominous music continues)
Hey, he's back!
(Victoria chuckles)
And he brought a handsome friend.
Yeah, and something
your mother wouldn't like.
- Woo!
- Woo!
(Victoria and Selene chuckling)
(Victoria laughing)
(bottles clanging)
Ah-ah.
This is a no work zone.
Yeah? Tell that to my boss.
Yeah, Blake. I'm still here.
Right.
Who's up for strip poker?
(Selene chuckles)
I thought British men were gentleman.
We fuckin' are.
Which is why...
I'm gonna give you girls a
lead by taking off my boots.
(Selene and Victoria
laughing) (water splashes)
(snow crunching)
(door creaks) (tense eerie music)
(tense eerie music continues)
Whoa.
What...
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
(Blake clears throat)
(snow crunching)
(cell phone buzzes)
Blake, what did you find?
[Blake] It's Satanic shit.
Say that again?
It sounded like you said "Satanic shit".
I don't know.
Like, they could be Devil
worshipers or something.
Okay.
No, no, no. Get back to the bar.
Don't hang around, Blake.
Okay.
(tense eerie music)
Hey, Siri.
Send a text message to the Grinch.
"Not cops."
Send.
(text message beeps)
(cell phone beeping)
Hey, yo.
Maybe this is a miracle.
(Victoria chuckles)
What is?
Us finding you hotties.
(Victoria chuckles)
- Really?
Yeah. They haven't
even seen "The Departed".
(Snowman laughs) Have you?
Whoa!
Who hasn't seen "The Departed"?
Us?
(Snowman and Selene chuckling)
Told you.
They haven't seen it,
nevermind lived anything like it.
Well, that's great fuckin' news.
Isn't it?
(Snowman chuckles)
Well, it's great news,
because we're gonna have
to watch it together.
Oh.
Is this a Christmas movie?
Jesus Christ. (Snowman chuckles)
You should marry that one, bud.
I'll leave you two, you know?
All right, girls, I wanna fuckin' know,
is why we still got our fuckin' pants on!
Come on then!
Hey, Siri, call Rudolph.
(cell phone ringing)
(Rudolph's cell phone rings)
(gun clicking)
(cell phones ringing) (tense ominous music)
(snow crunching)
(tense ominous music continues)
(light clicks) (unnerving music)
Run.
Get out of here.
What?
Get out of here.
Now.
Who are you?
Now.
(ominous music)
Yummy.
(tense unnerving music)
You smell good.
[Genie] No, no, stop.
Don't worry.
I'll leave some for you.
(blood squelching) (Lucia yelps)
(Lucia groans)
(Lucia screams)
(Genie gasps)
(Blake and Genie grunting)
How did you do that?
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Get me out.
It was just a spoon.
[Genie] I know. Hey.
It was just a spoon.
Yeah, I see that.
Can you...
There's a key behind you.
What?
Grab the key.
[Blake] What?
Grab the key behind you!
(tense music)
Right.
[Genie] Right, yeah.
[Blake] Right.
- Okay, right.
- Hurry, hurry.
There's others left. They're coming.
I'm Genie.
What?
I'm Genie.
- Oh, I'm Blake.
- Blake.
Thanks.
Okay, this one, hurry, please.
(tense music continues)
Okay, let's go!
(Rudolph's cell phone ringing)
(tense ominous music)
(snow crunching)
(tense ominous music continues)
Fuck.
Call the Grinch.
(tense ominous music continues)
(cell phone rings) (lighter flicks)
Yeah.
Grinch, get back to the bar double-time.
They're not cops. We've got a new problem.
Okay, you got it.
(door slams) - [Father Christmas] Just go!
I got it.
(tense ominous music continues)
Sorry, buddy.
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(festive Christmas music) (water splashes)
(Victoria and Selene laughing)
You girls like it when I go down.
(festive Christmas music continues)
(water bubbling)
(Snowman shouts)
(Snowman laughs) (water splashes)
Ladies?
(Snowman chuckles)
Where'd you go?
(Snowman chuckles)
Oh, right.
Sexy little game of hide and seek, is it?
(Snowman laughs)
(soft eerie music)
Don't fuck with me. Don't fuck with me.
Ladies?
(woman gasps) (intense ominous music)
What the fuck is going on?
Look, I don't want any of these jokes.
I don't want any of these fuckin' jokes!
Come on!
(Snowman grunts)
(intense ominous music continues)
Don't fuck with me!
I've been nice, girls,
but don't fuck with me!
(girls laughing)
(water splashes) (Snowman grunts)
Fuckin'!
What the fuck?
(Snowman grunts)
(intense ominous music continues)
It's all right, it's all right.
Just fuckin' around, aren't you?
Just fuckin' around.
Just fuckin' around, just fuckin' around.
(bottle splashes)
Cunts!
Got it.
Sorry to break up the party.
(intense string music)
(Grinch yells)
Snowman!
Snowman!
(eerie bellowing)
What the fuck?
(intense eerie music)
(intense eerie music continues)
My baby.
How?
How did they get in here?
I do not know.
How did they even know
which room we were in?
(tense eerie music)
Girls?
We had a smack.
Where's Lucia?
Mother, where's sister-to-be?
Girls, bad news.
Genie killed our sister,
with the help of our Christmas snacks.
(Colin chokes)
- Where are they?
They're all still there.
Not all of 'em.
Victoria?
We ate one.
The other one ran away.
I like it when they run.
He might call for help.
They can't call anyone.
That's why we picked them.
(tense music)
Can I kill him?
Put him down.
(tense music continues)
Go.
And you?
I'll deal with you later.
Thank you.
(Colin exhales)
Oh, God. (dramatic music swells)
Hey. We got big fuckin' problems.
Yeah, I know.
Who the hell is that?
Whoa, not one of the problems.
[Grinch] I didn't ask you, Junior.
Hey, where's Snowman?
I don't know.
I only left him for a minute, but-
- He's dead.
Trust me.
Well, you said they weren't dangerous!
I said they weren't cops.
[Genie] They're not.
Yeah, thanks.
I fuckin' worked that out!
Okay, she's trying to help us.
From what?
A bunch of serial killers?
[Genie] Kind of.
Listen, sweetheart.
I got zero fuckin' patience with you!
All right, all right, stop.
Then what?
Vampires.
Yep. It's a big fuckin' problem.
Yep, we need to move.
Clear?
Crystal.
Oh, really?
I was worried that was gonna
take much longer to explain.
I got this.
We need crucifixes.
I'm an atheist.
You would be.
Garlic.
I'm allergic.
Who the hell are you again?
Uh, sunlight.
(cell phone beeps)
Hey Siri. What time does the sun rise?
[Siri] Sunrise is at 7:45 AM today.
Goddamn it.
Well, we gotta find our way outta here.
(keys jingling) (tense music)
Well, what the hell are
we still doing here?
Couldn't agree more. Grab the door.
Here, take this.
And you, take this.
Listen.
You both follow me, right behind me.
Okay? Don't stop.
Okay, okay.
Go!
[Genie] So, which one
of them is in charge?
Well, I was in charge for a while.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's really cool.
(intense unnerving music)
Hey. Merry Christmas.
Mother doesn't want you
boys to check out just yet.
And you, sister-to-be-
- Please, don't hurt them.
Oh, we're gonna do
way more than hurt them.
And you.
Well then...
Stop! They're really dangerous.
[Father Christmas] Grinch, Grinch...
This is for Snowman.
(bones crunching) (Grinch grunts)
(tense music)
Stupid boy.
Get up, up!
Wait in the bar! Get in the bar!
Go, go, go!
Go, go!
(dramatic music)
- Boys will be boys.
(Grinch groans)
- In, in, in.
(Grinch grunts)
[Grinch] Bro, she decimated
my fucking shoulder!
It's all right.
We can make it if we head to the tree line.
[Genie] No, you can't.
(Grinch grunts)
I need a fuckin'
painkiller here or something.
[Blake] Yeah, I know how to fix it.
What?
[Blake] Yeah. - [Father
Christmas] You do?
[Blake] Yeah.
(tense music)
Hey, hey, you know what has to happen.
- Bite down.
- Wait, wait, wait!
(Grinch mumbling)
- Bite down.
On three.
One, two... (socket crunching)
(Grinch yells)
Let him go, let him go, let him go.
(Grinch groans)
Grinch, okay?
You need to focus, okay?
You're gonna be okay.
(hand pats)
- Hey!
Sorry, sorry.
Jesus, sorry.
Look, we need to get out of here.
You cannot outrun Mother.
[Father Christmas] In a car?
You won't make it to the car.
She's right.
Hey, look.
Why the fuck are we listening
to any of these kids?
'Cause we're the smart ones.
Hey, smart one...
We don't know what the hell she is.
They called her fuckin' sister.
Because I am. (tense mysterious music)
Okay? I...
Or at least I'm gonna be.
[Blake] What?
(tense mysterious music continues)
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, fuck this, man. We gotta go.
They want you to run.
They're hunting you!
[Grinch] So what do we fuckin' do then?
We do what we've always done.
We be unpredictable.
(tense unnerving music)
[Father Christmas] Grinch.
(tense ominous music)
[Blake] Hey, hey, hey!
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
Where are they?
They...
They barricaded themselves in the bar.
Sounds like the actions
of a bunch of boys to me.
Look, they have guns!
[Mother] Which can't hurt us.
Look, gunfire is gonna draw the cops.
Were close to town, and they'll hear that.
They can't hurt us.
They won't do that.
Well, they will if they
think you're gonna attack.
Which is exactly why we won't.
Look, it's almost sunrise.
And before it does,
we have a little Trojan Horse in with them.
And she's turning.
Let's see how loyal a hungry dog is.
(tense unnerving music)
Hi.
Hi. Hey.
You okay?
I'm sorry he did that.
All right. Enough, Romeo.
Step back.
Our boy says he rescued you.
He did.
How did he kill the one guarding you?
Silver.
Silver?
[Blake] The spoon.
My spoon?
Hey, I want that back.
[Blake] Well, it's a murder weapon now.
You don't want it.
[Grinch] It's my fuckin' spoon!
Is the most important thing we have
going on right now your spoon?
Not really.
So, those things, they really
are what you say they are?
Yeah.
And you, you're turning into one of them?
Not by choice.
Does that matter?
No.
Are you gonna help us?
Yes.
And why the fuck should we believe that?
Because I don't wanna become one of them.
Okay?
I can help you, okay?
I can help you guys.
I can, I will.
Just please, don't let
me become one of them.
Well, I can agree to that deal right now.
Shh.
Is there a cure?
Yes, okay?
Mother says there's a way to undo it.
And look, I'm sorry, but
we're not looking for a fight.
We're looking for a way out here.
Well, right.
Well, the sunlight, right?
They can't be in the sun.
That's still a while away.
How many of them are there?
[Genie] There's three.
And our weapons?
Might slow them down, but
it won't actually hurt them.
[Blake] Are you talking about UV light?
[Genie] What?
I've got a few grenades
that say otherwise.
Yes, but we need to keep a low profile.
[Grinch] I'm trying to not get eaten.
Okay, shut up.
Jesus, shut the fuck up.
[Grinch] This better be good, sunshine.
Otherwise, you're bitch number two
I'll slap with the rifle butt.
UV light.
It's the same as sunlight.
So what?
(tense music)
Stun grenades.
They have blinding UV light in them.
So it'll kill any of her kind?
She's one of us.
Nope.
She's apparently turning
into something else.
Only one way to find out.
Whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. (stun grenade beeps)
Come on, come on!
No, no, no.
No...
Are you serious? Come on, Grinch.
Come on, Grinch! (stun grenade beeps)
(Genie yelps)
(stun grenade thuds) (Genie screams)
Tell my girls to bring
them here, dead or alive.
I'm on it, I'm on it.
You're an asshole.
Relax. It didn't kill her.
Well, I guess she's turning.
It did hurt.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay, it's not your fault.
If it makes you feel better,
you can eat him first
when it comes down to it.
[Genie] Yeah, I think I will.
All right, we gotta focus.
We need to find our way out of here,
'cause they're not gonna
let us just wait it out.
The car.
That's what they'll expect.
Agreed.
So we take that off the table, okay?
Like, what else have we got?
What do we know?
[Blake] About vampires?
Yeah.
Like, anything.
Anything at all that would help.
The word vampire originated
from a Slavic myth.
Shut up, Encyclopedia Brown.
All right, look, I didn't
wanna say anything.
No, go on.
I feel stupid bringing it up.
Mate, if it helps...
Well, I've actually read
all the "Twilight" books.
(Father Christmas laughs)
(Genie chuckles)
Uh, are you serious?
Hey, my wife liked them, okay?
That's...
That's very helpful.
I'm in shock.
Hey, they aren't bad.
I'm in shock you have a wife.
You little shit... Hey, stop!
Listen.
You can't outrun them, so don't even try.
But those grenades?
Yeah, they're gonna keep them
away until the sun rises.
That's our play. The grenades.
We take the grenades,
and we slip out through the
back, through the tunnels.
I wouldn't risk going out in the open.
But if we are out in the
open and they're hunting us,
they're out in the open.
We're exposed, they're exposed.
They can hide behind nothing.
I guess it's as good a plan as any.
All right, well let's not wait around,
'cause they are not gonna
let us sit in the bar all night.
We're taking Genie, right?
- No!
- No!
She helped us.
Blake, maybe that isn't the best idea.
Hey, I'm smart. Super smart.
I have a double doctorate from MIT.
- Jesus.
- God, Blake!
What? What?
You told me to start
making better decisions.
That's what I'm doing.
I meant tomorrow.
Make better decisions tomorrow.
Tonight, could you just
follow my decisions?
Well, I'm making an early start.
Ugh, fuck. Fine!
Whoa, whoa, wait, you serious?
If we set off another
grenade, it's gonna hurt like hell.
You know...
It's probably still better than
what they're gonna do to me.
(glass shatters) (jarring music)
Jesus.
Oh, I don't have a weapon.
I bet you could use a
spoon right about now.
Oh my God. Let it go.
You should probably let that one go.
(chair clatters) (intense ominous music)
(Selene hisses)
(Father Christmas grunts)
(bottles clattering)
(Grinch yells)
(Father Christmas yells)
Get the fuck off me!
(Grinch grunts)
(Victoria grunts) (Grinch grunts)
(stun grenade beeping)
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
(stun grenade beeping)
No, no, no, not again.
(Selene screams)
[Grinch] Yeah!
(Christmas tree clanging)
(Genie gasps)
Oh, thank God.
I thought you were an atheist.
(Blake and Genie laughing)
[Father Christmas] Hey, hey.
Come on.
We gotta go.
Okay, right.
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(tense ominous music)
(Mother hums)
Mother!
(Victoria gasps)
What was this?
Some kind of sun weapon.
A bomb.
It killed your sister?
Yes.
Then let's go make
them pay, little darling.
- No mercy.
- None whatsoever.
(tense mysterious music)
(Father Christmas grunts)
Just give me a minute.
Um, so, what's the plan?
These doors...
They let you across the
courtyard to the squash courts.
(tense music)
So...
So, it's a dead end.
Which is not a bad place to be
with your back up against the wall,
when you've got one of these.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
Wait out there till sunrise.
Okay, good. Let's go.
(Blake grunts)
- You're real smart.
Double doctorate, right?
Uh, yeah.
I'm fucked.
And she's coming.
Go on.
Take care of yourself.
(Father Christmas grunts)
You're...
You're not a breaking
rule number one, are you?
(soft tense music) (Father
Christmas chuckles)
Yeah.
But only because you started
making better decisions.
(keys jingling)
Off you go.
Come on, fuck off.
(soft tense music continues)
Take care of yourself.
(Father Christmas grunts)
Fuck.
Well...
This was a real good idea for the holidays.
Oh, okay.
Maybe we didn't think this through.
What do you mean?
There's no windows.
We won't know when the sun comes up.
Uh, uh, okay.
Oh, okay, new plan, new plan.
I'll go back, I distract them,
and then you make a for the car.
- No.
- Yeah.
- No.
- I'm being serious, I-
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I am gonna find a way to
stop you from turning, okay?
So, let's just make it through the night.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we can do that.
Okay.
Just as long as you
stay by my side, okay?
(Blake chuckles)
I'm not going anywhere.
(Genie chuckles) (soft music)
(jarring ominous music)
(Father Christmas grunts)
(Father Christmas breathes heavily)
No, I'm okay.
My fat fallen, I'll be fine.
You don't have any, do you?
And funny too.
An admirable quality for
someone who's at death's door.
I'd like something.
Do you wanna know what?
No I don't really give a fuck
if I tell the truth, no.
I'd like you to beg for your life.
(Father Christmas coughs)
Seeing as how we won.
Everyone's dead, or about to be.
Like, did you really think you could win?
Didn't GEnie tell you
we're stronger and faster?
(Father Christmas laughs)
What's so funny?
(Father Christmas laughs) (tense music)
She told me..
But she also said...
That you won, but I'm smarter.
(stun grenade beeping)
(intense music) (Victoria gasps)
(Victoria hisses)
(stun grenade thuds) (Victoria screams)
Whoa.
You think that was both of them?
No.
Why?
Mother Hunts alone.
(unnerving music)
Why, oh why, are you doing this?
Not for my little girl, surely.
Because she's not gonna suck
you off in the way you'd like.
You tell me how to stop her from turning,
and I'll let you live.
Brave little boy.
(Blake grunts) (tense music)
(Blake groans)
Hey!
Step back.
(tense music continues)
Step back.
Then kill us both.
Yeah.
And he'll live.
Baby, just a few more minutes.
It'll all be over.
I said step back.
Do not turn your back on your mother!
Hey, hey, it's okay.
Come on.
(Blake grunts)
Hey, you're good.
Come here.
(Blake grunts) (tense ominous music)
Hey. You okay?
Yeah. Never been better.
Are we trapped?
Yeah.
We have this.
We need to get her in here.
Blake, it's...
My hands are healed, it's already happened.
I'm too late?
Yeah, afraid so.
Are you gonna eat me?
No.
You're gonna kill me before that happens.
No, no.
I'm not gonna do that.
You said you were gonna help me.
Well, this is how you're gonna do it.
(soft music)
Turn me.
What?
Yeah.
I mean, you can do that now
that you're one of them, right?
- Yeah, I can.
- Then do it.
I'm not going to.
Why?
Because you need to
live, for the both of us.
She's not gonna let me live.
Mother...
That's right, little boy.
I'd rather it was you.
Kill him, Genie.
Or I will.
And I won't be half as nice as you'd be.
Genie, it's okay.
I want you to.
Eat him up, little baby.
He should be your first.
It's okay.
Are you sure?
It'll be fun.
(Genie and Blake chuckling)
I'm so sorry.
I really didn't want to have to do this.
(soft dramatic music)
(thudding echoes) (clock ticking)
(soft dramatic music continues)
Oh my God.
(soft dramatic music continues)
What did I...
Don't worry, baby.
Everybody gets through their first.
It's hard, I know.
(soft dramatic music continues)
(stun grenade beeping)
Told you I could be an actress.
(stun grenade beeping)
(stun grenade thuds) (flames whooshing)
(clock ticking)
Housekeeping!
(Colin breathes heavily)
(Colin grunts)
(tense ominous music)
(doorknob rustles)
(Blake grunts)
Good job, Blake.
(Blake grunts)
(intense music)
(Blake grunts)
(car engine revs)
(intense music continues)
(intense music continues)
(door thuds)
Oh...
This is the worst Christmas ever!
Ah, shit!
(jarring ominous music)
Ho, ho, ho!
(Rudolph cackles) (intense unnerving music)
(soft acoustic music)
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
(dark ominous music)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
(logo whooshing) (dark ominous music fades)