Somebody to Love (2022) Movie Script
1
No, listen. I get off work at 3, and the show doesn't start until 7.
So we both have enough time to-
Cora?
No, yeah, I'm here, sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Thank you for coming tonight.
I see a couple of new faces as well as some returning ones,
so welcome everyone.
For those of you who don't know, my name is Dr. Marcotte,
but feel free to refer to me in this space as Jasmine.
Now a little bit of background on the group.
I work here at the university with the psychology department
and the counseling center. And I started
this group about eight years ago-
how much longer?
I finished the outline, I just need you here for color and lighting.
You could just use a picture, though.
I could, but I like you here.
Okay, Mal.
Okay!
Cora?
Do you feel comfortable with speaking tonight?
I don't know. Maybe not tonight.
That's completely okay
I do hope to see you next time.
Well, thank you all for coming tonight
this has been a very powerful session
and I hope that has helped you all in some way
big or small, no matter where you are, always remember
progress is only forward. I'll see you all next week.
Hey.
Hi.
Cora, right?
Yeah.
I'm Ryan. I was also at meeting.
That's cool.
Are you waiting to be picked up?
No, I live on campus. It's like a six minute walk from here.
Oh okay. Then why are you waiting here?
I'm not. I only really use my dorm to sleep.
I like to be outside because it's the only place I can think.
Oh ok, I feel that.
I live off campus on Macory Street.
I'm waiting to be picked up by my roommate.
Cool.
Yeah.
Listen, I know these meetings can seem
like a weird mixture of cheesy and
way too emotionally intense at times.
Just take your time about talking.
I also didn't speak when I first came
at the start of the semester.
It's hard, but it helps.
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
Sure, anytime.
I'm not going to lie, I couldn't pay attention
to anyone this meeting.
Yeah, I noticed, so did Jasmine.
Um, the group leader, woman, person.
Oh, right. Yeah.
Are you friends or something?
She was my professor last semester.
She told me about the group.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
Well, I think I'm done being conscious for the day.
I'm gonna head back to my dorm.
It was nice meeting you.
Yeah, you too.
Are you coming back next week?
Not sure.
Cora! The light!
Sorry! Sorry.
Mom?
What are you doing? Slow down!
I hope we crash.
I hope I crash this car and we both die!
Mom what are you saying?
You're an abomination and I failed as a parent.
And I hope we both die! I hope I crash!
No! Stop it!
What if I come with you?
What? No. Are you crazy?
Hold on.
As friends, obviously I don't have to tell them about us.
Why on earth would you want to go?
Because I don't want to see you suffer by yourself.
Look, I already met your mother and I doubt she even
remembers me.
But I feel like I know everyone else from what you've told me.
No, they're different when they're all together.
Especially when my grandparents are there.
My mom becomes something else.
Well, maybe they won't say any of their
racist or homophobic shit if I'm there.
I don't know. Maybe.
You've already gone through this every single year by yourself,
and that's insufferable.
I don't want to see you do this alone again.
Let me help you through this. I can handle it.
I promise.
I love you
I love you, too.
Okay.
You sure?
Don't back out now, asshole.
Asshole? Who you calling an asshole?
Woah, okay!
Hi! Cora? I thought it was you, what's up?
Just finished eating breakfast and going to class now.
Cool. What class?
Gen Bio.
Glad I never had to take that one. What's your major?
Oh, I'm exploratory right now.
Oh, cool. There's no shame in that.
I mean, there's so many majors to choose from
and it's really important to take your own time, you know?
Yeah. Thanks. What about you?
I study social work.
Oh, I thought you would have been hospitality and tourism.
Yeah, I thought about that one too, but nah.
How do you like it?
I love it. It's a lot of work, but it's something
I'm really passionate about, you know?
Yeah, that's great.
Well, I think I'll see you. Have a good one!
You too.
All right now. Biological organization has emergent properties.
Life's basic characteristic is a high degree of order.
What about this guy?
He's cute.
Man, you're not even looking.
Sorry, I'm trying to focus on the lecture.
You know, the one for this class? That's in this building?
Since when do you give a shit about Gen Bio?
I don't. I'm just trying to do good this semester.
Do "well," you mean?
Shut up, English major.
You stressed about that dinner this week?
I'm stressed about Sebastian.
He has no idea what he's walking into.
Sebastian will be fine.
You and I both know
he's not the most calm and collected person,
especially around varying levels of bigotry.
Your grandparents are racist too?
They're from Polk County.
Racist too.
You're right, Sebastian's fucked.
I'm kidding!
I've known him forever, all right?
When it comes to people he cares about
he keeps his cool and his word.
I sure hope so.
Cora, Cora, hey
Got these kids movies. Can you put those up for me?
Yeah, no problem.
Thank you so much.
That's literally my favorite movie.
Really?
Yeah. It was the first movie directed by a black lesbian woman.
Cheryl Dun- Dunyi?
Dunye.
She's in the movie too. It's like, half-documentary, but not?
I don't know, I can't say too much. You have to watch it.
Looks really interesting. I see why they hired you. I'll take it.
I'm Mallory.
Cora.
So, are you going to be the next Cheryl, Cora?
No, I like watching them. Not making them.
Watching them with company is even better.
When's the last time you saw it?
It's been a while.
Hey. This is Sebastian. I can't answer right now,
so leave a message.
The mailbox is full and cannot accept
any messages at this time. Goodbye.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Michael, table is set. Come on.
Gracious God, we have sinned against thee
and are unworthy of thy mercy.
Pardon our sins and bless these mercies for our use.
And help us to eat and drink to thy glory.
For Christ's sake.
Amen.
Damn, Grandma. This is good.
Brandon, language.
Sorry.
That's okay, hon. Thank you.
So Michael, how's school going?
It's fine.
That all you're going to say to your grandmother, boy?
Sorry. It's going well.
I'm just really busy. Lots of studying.
Don't mind him. He's just upset that
some stranger ditched our family dinner.
You've literally met him before.
Regardless, I don't know why you invited him in the first place.
Yeah, me either.
Faggot.
Where's he from?
Venezuela.
Oh, that explains it.
Of course. What can you expect from them?
A bunch of lazy parasites.
Hey, who do you vote for? Wait, let me guess. He couldn't.
Venezuela is a mess of a country. They all are-
Why do you think they come here?
Hey, don't talk back to your grandmother!
Again with all this socialist crap.
It's not even socialism.
This is the best country in the world and yet
they come here and they want to complain about it.
Damn right.
Sebastian is a citizen. So are his parents.
I'm sure.
There they are again.
If I had my gun, I'd shoot them all.
The geese or the illegals?
The manners on that boy.
I don't know what I'm going to about that one.
Where the hell are you?
You make a big deal about showing and then you chicken out
and you don't even have the guts to tell me before-
Michael, listen to me.
Darius?
I'm at the hospital right now
something bad happened to Sebastian.
What happened?
Darius?
What happened?
He got into a car accident on his way over.
He was killed on impact.
I- I'm so sorry-
Michael?
So Brandon, finally getting out of school?
Yeah, I should have my degree within the year.
Maybe you should talk with him.
What's the matter with you?
Boy I'm talking to you.
Michael?
Sebastian is my boyfriend.
We were dating for nearly a year, and I couldn't tell you
because I didn't know how you would respond.
And I didn't want to disappoint you.
Now he's gone.
I loved him. And he's gone.
He's dead. He's dead.
He's dead.
God works in mysterious ways, Michael.
He has seen your sin, even though you hid it from us,
so he took matters into his own hands.
This is a good thing, Michael.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey! Talk to your mother like that
one more time and see what happens.
Your father would be so ashamed.
Did you fuck him? Or did he fuck you?
You're disgusting.
Tell me it wasn't my son with the dick up his ass.
He did so much more.
Brandon, take your grandmother to her room.
Brandon do what I told you, you miserable shit.
Please give your mother grandchildren, Brandon. Please.
We're going to fix you, Michael.
It's what God wants.
All right, everyone. Let's come back to our seats now.
It seems that none of you noticed
that I actually gave you 15 minutes.
Looked like you were all very immersed in your letters.
Now, these letters are meant to be for us and our loved ones.
But I would like to read mine out loud to you all. And
afterwards, if anyone else feels like sharing with the group,
then you're more than welcome.
Dear Amaria and Tyree, the loves of my life
these past few weeks have been busy and stressful, but
overall quite good. The weather has been pleasant
and bright, and the shining sun reminds me of you, Amaria.
You were a light for your father and I, and you're a light I'll carry
with me forever.
Tyree, please continue to take care of our daughter
wherever your spirits reside. I love and miss you
both so much, and I look
forward to seeing you again someday.
Hey there, Josh. I really, really miss you.
Mom and dad are doing okay. Definitely better.
Although they still go into your room to cry sometimes.
I would, too, if I wasn't away from home.
You would have loved college.
I really think you would have thrived here.
Find your real group of friends.
I'm still trying to find my tribe,
but it's definitely been easier here than back home.
I'm still proud of you for being such a fighter.
You're still the strongest person I know.
Love, Ryan.
That was beautiful, Ryan. Thank you for sharing.
I'm really sorry about your brother.
Thank you. The anniversary is coming up soon.
Wow.
Yeah. It'll be hard, but I'll be okay.
I noticed you didn't read your letter.
Yeah, big surprise there.
Do you have someone that you open up to?
A support system outside of all this?
No, not really.
Oh, that's a little concerning.
How so?
It's just really unhealthy to bottle those things up.
That's what these meetings are for. To open up, to get that
load off your chest and breathe.
Listen, I appreciate your concern,
but Jasmine was the one that said we could share
if we wanted to. Good for everyone else who
shared their letter to their dead loved ones.
But mine's more private.
And that's fine. I'm just saying you should have
some outlet, whether it's a person to vent to or
exercise or art.
Look, if you need a friend to talk to,
I'm here, just for future reference. But for now,
let me at least make sure you get home safe.
I've walked alone at this time before already.
No, I know. It's just safer.
I don't need or want you to, okay?
Don't you realize that you're coming on way too strong?
Is that seriously what you think I'm trying to do?
I'm not trying to hit on you.
I'm just trying to be a good person.
We're college students, and we go to a grief counseling
group every week. Grief counseling?
Seriously, no matter who asks us how we're doing,
"I'm fine," and "I'm okay," is a lie for all of us.
No, we're not okay. You're not okay.
You shouldn't have to be not okay.
At least not alone.
I'm not going to force my friendship on you.
I'm not going to force you to open up. No one is.
But unlike Dr. Marcotte,
it's not my job to make sure that you're okay.
It would be my privilege.
Wait!
I'm sorry, okay? It's just hard.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not okay.
I'm not fine. And no, I don't want to talk about it. But,
I'd be down to get some food right now if you are.
Taco place?
What? Would you rather have gone to some clich diner?
Hell, no. I'm so done with breakfast at any time of the day.
I was never really a fan of breakfast foods anyways.
Really?
No
Grits, bacon, hash browns?
I literally hate all those foods.
What?
I only really like eggs and waffles.
So did my brother.
Could I ask how did he pass?
Leukemia. He was such a fighter, though.
No one thought he would make it as far as he did.
He was stubborn like that.
I'm sorry.
Do you have any recommendations?
For first timers I usually recommend the
Korean barbecue pork tacos, but I'm more
partial to the fajita and shrimp tacos.
I'm allergic to shrimp, actually,
so I guess barbecue pork for me.
No, that sucks. I love shrimp
Really?
Yeah.
They're like the roaches of the sea.
Oh, my God. What?!
They have these little legs that squirm around in the water.
EW. No. That's so nasty. Thank you.
Thank you for putting that in my head.
You're welcome.
Hey, this is Sebastian.
I can't answer right now, so leave a message.
The mailbox is full and cannot accept
any messages at this time. Goodbye.
Hey, this is Sebastian. I can't answer right now,
so leave a message.
The mailbox is full. I cannot accept
any messages at this time. Goodbye.
I dropped him off at the airport.
I didn't see Michael in his room.
Did you send him to that
place Grandpa told you about?
I didn't send him anywhere, Brandon. He's 18.
Michael went willingly. Grandfather made sure of that.
But I don't think he should be there. Mom, he lost someone.
Someone who was going to drag him straight to hell.
Is that what you want for your brother? Is it?
Ever since your father died, I had to raise the both of you
by myself. Do you know how much I had to
sacrifice to give you to the life that you have?
Do you?
My blood, sweat and tears
will not be wasted.
I won't have anybody corrupt my son
So man up.
Yes! We made it just in time.
The show doesn't start until around midnight.
Even so, the gays are never really on time.
True. I can't believe you've never seen the drag show.
I can't believe you go to clubs that cater to gay guys.
Well, it's the only place in town
I won't get hit on by men, so I'll take it.
Amen. Do girls ever hit on you?
Do you count exchanging glances from far away
but never actually making a move?
God, it is impossible to flirt as a queer girl.
I'm not the flirting type, so I wouldn't know.
We just compliment one another and we never
really know if we're flirting or being nice.
Well, in that case, I definitely haven't been hit on.
Oh, shut up. I'm sure you have been.
You okay?
Yeah,
yeah I'm fine.
What the fuck?
Hey
What are you doing here?
I thought this wasn't your scene or whatever.
It's not I just wanted to see you.
You've come to see me perform?
No, I don't think so. I'll probably just stay back here.
What?
I'm starting the show, baby.
Is this DL white boy bothering you?
No, he's not. Just start the show.
Mhmm
I'm tired of getting my hopes up for some
frat boy that doesn't know what he wants.
I do know what I want. I'm just-
Scared.
I get it, I do. But this is a safe space.
There's nothing to worry about
I mean look how I'm dressed.
There's nothing that's going to happen to you.
There's nothing to worry about, I promise.
How's everyone doing tonight, are we having fun out here?
Are we drinking!?
Well we as drag queens,
there are two things that we love the most.
One of those things which you are already doing is
making noise. Let me hear you!
Yes!
Second thing that we love. We like your ones.
Okay!
Your fives, your tens!
Uh huh!
We like your 20s. If you give me a 20
one of those bitches in the back
will do something special for you.
Are you ready to see a show out here tonight?
Well, we have a special show for you tonight.
Welcome to the stage, the one and only
Miss Lesby Honest!
Woo! Work!
Wooo! Work!
Hey.
Hey are you okay?
Hey, I know you!
I know you, too.
Hey it's okay! Just breathe, just breathe-
No, no, please! I need some space!
I know you.
No you don't.
Yeah.
You're Michael's piece of shit brother. Where the fuck is he?
Hey, back off.
What are you doing at our fag bar?
Watch it.
Are you a faggot too, Brandon?
Can ya'll get them out of here?
I'm sorry. I didn't know how crowded it was going to be.
Are you claustrophobic?
No.
I don't know. I just needed to get out of there.
Do you want to talk about it?
Get them out of here!
What the fuck's your problem, man?
My fucking problem?
My best friend is dead because of you and your psycho family.
If you all weren't such pieces of shit
he wouldn't have to come over and make your brother feel
like a human being in his own home.
You did this to him, you-
You and your family.
I could-
Fucking!
Hey, do you need a ride home?
Yeah, he needs a ride home. Come on, lets go.
Lost a nail.
You said it was safe.
Get off of me.
You said I had nothing to worry about.
Fuck off.
They saw me, a bunch of them.
Who was that guy you fought with?
Listen, I don't know what kind of
internalized bullshit you're dealing with here,
but I don't want anything to do with it, okay?
This is a problem with you,
not me, not them, not even your family.
Whatever this is, was, I don't want anything to do with it
okay? we're done.
Get out.
You said down Threap Road, right?
Yeah.
I'll bring him up to his room.
Oh shit.
Thank you, sincerely.
Hey, wait.
I'm really sorry about your friend.
I don't know what to do.
Here. Give me your phone.
This is my number if you need it.
There's this grief group I go to every Thursday at eight
in the community center rec room.
It could really help.
Grief group?
Has it helped you?
I don't know yet.
Is he okay?
I think I'd like to go home now.
Where were you?
I thought you were in bed.
You didn't answer my question.
I was at a bar with the guys.
Who did this?
Did they ask where Michael was?
Who did this?
Thanks for the ride.
Yeah, of course.
Sorry about, well, everything that happened tonight.
It's fine. You couldn't have known.
That poor guy.
I told him about Dr. Marcotte's group.
That was nice of you.
Yeah.
My girlfriend
killed herself
I'm sorry.
It's complicated.
I don't really want to get into it right now.
Tonight was just very triggering.
The crowd. That guy.
I found this in my bag a few weeks ago.
I can't even bring myself to open it.
Like, everything that she did to me
and what she did to herself
makes me anxious every time I look at it.
and I just-
I mean- I just- I don't-
Cora
that slip
it's from me.
What?
I completely forgot I put it into your bag.
It's so stupid.
I didn't mean to do that to you.
"Cora,
just wanted to let you know that I think you're very beautiful.
Looking forward to getting to know you. Ryan."
Yep
This is very sweet. I just thought-
I'm sorry if it wasn't what you were expecting.
Or I guess who you were expecting it from.
So you were hitting on me?
I mean
Yes and no?
I don't know why I did that
It's so creepy. Now that I think about it.
You really had me think that this was from her.
I'm sorry.
Stop saying sorry.
It's not your fault, okay?
I just-
I prepared myself to read this bullshit
and see what she finally had to say for herself.
Nothing. She didn't say anything.
You've seen what happens when I open up.
Nothing good.
I'll see you.
Please don't.
Just let me help. Okay?
If you put the smaller ones on first
and the larger ones on top, it puts less strain
on your back. Drags you down less.
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
It's not his fault.
What did I say?
No talking to each other.
No looking at each other.
And no touching each other.
He didn't-
Shut up.
Beat each other.
These rocks are for you to feel the burden of your sins
and yours alone.
You want to touch each other? Fine.
Fight then.
No?
Good!
Good.
Now let's see what you got.
Keep going.
You know the drill. 5 hours. No moving,
no sitting. And don't put that bag down.
If I catch you doing any of those,
I'll add five more hours.
We were such punks when we used to live in Caracas.
We'd always get into fights with kids in the playground.
And then we get grounded. But we just sneak back out and
talk, talk for hours about all kinds of bullshit
till five in the morning.
We'd tell each other everything.
Now,
I just have these dreams.
Yo what's up, bro?
Que paso?
Hey.
He just shows up to my door and there's something
wrong. Terribly wrong.
But he doesn't tell me. He just cries into
my arms and collapsed onto the floor.
But I can't hear what he's telling me because he's
crying so hard.
This wound is still so fresh Darius.
It's normal to experience these kinds of dreams.
I just I can't help but think
if I hadn't met Michael, if I hadn't introduced them.
You can't think like that.
Thinking like that,
it's going to eat you up inside.
It's destructive and irrational.
You can't go back in time,
only forward.
Would you mind giving me a ride back home?
Sure.
Thank you so much my roommate was supposed to pick me up-
Cora.
I was wondering if we could have a quick little talk.
That is, if you have the time spare.
Sure.
I really appreciate you speaking up today.
Do you know Darius?
No. Well, kind of. I think he's in one of my classes.
But I bumped into him last week. Heard about what
happened, told him about this.
I'm glad you did
It was very thoughtful of you.
You know, for someone who doesn't speak at our sessions,
I can tell you have a lot to say.
Or at least a lot on your mind.
What makes you say that?
The letter writing exercise we did last week.
It took a bit for you to get started, but
when I saw how much you wrote,
how much you needed to say
don't worry, I'm not going to make you share it with me.
If keeping things to yourself helps, then by all means.
But I do worry about you keeping things bottled up.
That's why it gave me such joy to see you
pour your heart into that letter.
I had a lot to say to her, I guess.
Ryan didn't come tonight.
No, she didn't.
This week is the anniversary of her brother's passing.
Shit
I forgot that was coming up.
I could call her or text her,
but we kind of had a hiccup
and we're sort of in a weird place, friendship-wise.
She'll be okay. She just needs a little time to
herself and to grieve.
Anniversaries can be
difficult.
Want to talk about this hiccup you two had?
I don't know.
She's been a good friend, but
she has these feelings for me, and
it's just a little awkward right now.
I see. Actually, I'm not that surprised.
Ryan is a very emotional person.
I remember when she first started coming here,
she couldn't get through a sentence without crying.
Poor thing.
I see your pain, Cora.
But sometimes the only way to get better is
to talk about it.
I like to think that you come to our sessions
in the hopes that one day
you'll share your vulnerabilities with us
like we shared ours.
I don't know how. Okay?
Every time I come in here, I just feel everyone's eyes on me,
waiting for me to tell them my whole life story
or my deepest, darkest secrets
or silently pressuring me to talk about something
I don't even know how to talk about.
I hear everyone's stories about how they cope
and how much they miss their dead loved ones.
But it's just different for me.
Its scary to talk about, and it's scary to relive,
and I've been judged and hurt my whole life, and
I don't know if I can talk about it like everyone else.
It's more complicated than death.
My ex.
She- um,
I was-
I'm sorry.
Shit.
Darius Gonzales?
Yeah.
Turn around, please. Turn around, please.
Arms behind your back.
Could you just tell me- what did I do?
You're under arrest for the battery of Brandon Flynn.
Brandon? That motherfucker should be going to jail, not me!
This can't be freaking real, I didn't do anything man!
Calm down, man.
This guy should be going to jail, not me!
Tell it to the judge at first appearance, okay?
Watch your head. Get in.
You good? You comfy?
Come on, man. Let me at least
get a fucking phone call, something man-
Come to the bar please!
You can't just throw me in here-
We will appoint you a public defender tomorrow, okay?
Just spend the night in here.
There we go, in please.
Let me just get a phone call and talk to somebody, please.
Judge will talk to you tomorrow morning.
I'll give you a wake up call.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Why does this fucking shit keep happening to me?
Fuck.
Hi. This is Ryan. I can't come to the phone right now
so please leave a message after the beep and I'll
get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.
Hey, Ryan, it's Cora.
I noticed you weren't at group tonight.
I'm really sorry about what happened earlier.
I hope you're doing okay.
Talk to you later,
hopefully.
Here, come on.
No, Mal, please I don't want-
Open.
Take it, come on.
Good girl, that's my girl.
I'll be right back.
Mal?
Mallory?
Hey, hey, its me. Look, look at me.
Gonzales!
Come on, you made bail.
Alright come on out. Wait.
Let's go.
To the right.
Sign out.
Did you pay for my bail?
Mhm.
Why?
Come with me. Let's go to my office.
Please have a seat.
Amaria and Tyree. I don't think you've been around
when I spoke about them before.
Their loss was brutal for me.
It happened many years ago, and back then, I went to a group
similar to the one that I started here.
Helped me out of a very dark place.
So I try to do the same for the students here.
But I still have my bad days.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Look Dr. Marcotte
why did you bail me out?
Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to you. But
you hardly know me. Why am I here?
I see a lot of myself in you.
That deep anger, the immense guilt.
I see a lot of myself in Cora too. That young woman,
her grief is profound, malignant.
I fear for her well being.
She needs a friend and I have a feeling she'll open up to you.
Me? Why me?
You were able to make her finally speak up during our session.
Before that, she always just kept herself.
It's like you're trying to steal my job.
Well, with all due respect, Dr. Marcotte.
I think she's better off without me.
What are you doing?
I'm just getting rid of some of his things.
You can't even say his name. Michael.
Your son's name is Michael.
He's not my son anymore. Not until he gets better.
How can you say that? He's your child.
Brandon, I just-
No! Get better?
There was nothing wrong with him to begin with.
Of course there is.
Brandon, I don't know what's gotten into you
but you know better.
Yeah, I do.
Where are you going?
To get him out of there.
Over my dead body.
Brandon you will not let that faggot out of there.
Well, this faggot is going to go free his brother
from that place and from you.
I don't want to see either of you again. Don't come back.
Ever.
Take a hard, long look at that portrait in the living room.
We already lost him for good. You really want to lose us too?
For what, mom?
Have you been in bed all day?
Hello?
Hey. You want to go for a drive?
What?
Are you busy right now?
No, I'm just in my dorm.
Perfect. Which dorm?
The one next to the science library.
All right, cool. See you soon.
I guess I'll just meet you downstairs.
Oh no no no, it's fine, you don't have to-
Shit.
Where are we going?
You'll see.
Just had to get out of that bubble back there, both of us did.
What is this place?
Sebastian actually found it.
We'd always come here whenever we ditched class.
Come smoke, talk shit. Just exist.
Why did you bring me here?
Because you don't have to exist alone.
Brandon?
Sir, you really can't be here- oh!
Holy shit.
Michael, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am.
I'm so sorry, Michael.
It's okay. I'm just glad you're here now.
Come on. Lets get you out of here.
Wait.
Come with us.
I can't. I have to stay here.
What? Why?
I'm not 18 like you.
You said your mom forced you to sign yourself in.
You can leave. I can't.
We could go to the police. We could get help.
We could find someone-
it's okay. I'll be okay.
Go.
Hey!
Cora. I'm here for you, all right?
No judging, no pity.
I'm all ears.
Let me help you.
Okay.
It happened at a party at her house.
She forced me to take something.
I had no control. She took me to her room.
She-
I was raped.
When I got home, I didn't answer her calls for weeks.
And then I found out that she killed herself.
I don't know. She didn't leave a note, so
I don't know if she felt guilty for what she did
or if she was depressed, I don't know.
I can't help but think that
I could have known if I just answered her calls.
It's hard to grieve her
because part of me misses her.
The other part of me is glad that she's dead.
And I feel like a horrible person,
for even being a little bit relieved that she's dead.
I'm so, so sorry that that happened to you, its-
I'm going to say something that you might not like,
but I think it's important that you hear what I have to think.
You shouldn't feel bad that your abuser is dead.
Her poison is out of your life. You can breathe now.
And everything she did to you.
I have no remorse for people like that. None.
You deserve love, and only love.
Really? My underage brother doesn't drink?
Oh, I drink. Just not that shit.
Wow. Harsh. Uh, let me guess: Vodka cranberry.
How did you know?
Lucky guess.
You remind me of someone else I disappointed.
You too, huh?
Yup.
I should have known. Bet mom took that real well.
I didn't really give her enough time to process it.
Smart.
Listen, I'm sorry about Sebastian.
I never got a chance to tell you that.
Yeah, you were too busy letting Grandpa beat me.
My whole life, I did what they told me to do.
Part of me was always jealous by the way
you'd pushed back against all of them, including me.
You were never as scared as I was.
You were braver than I ever could be.
Damn right.
We can't go back there.
No, we can't.
But we'll figure something out.
I grieved you because I loved you
and I missed the good parts of you,
but it was the pain from what you did that truly crushed me
You took everything I gave you
and you selfishly made it your own.
I was never your property when you were alive,
and I refuse to be your property now that you're gone.
Regardless, I still wish you the best, wherever you are.
Sincerely, Cora.
That was really nice tonight.
Yeah, it was awesome. I love her, I wanna keep coming back.
That was really amazing, Cora Your writing is really powerful.
I agree. I think we should change your major to creative writing.
You guys are too sweet,
but I'm thinking more of the realm of psychology.
That means you have to take actual biology.
Shit. You're right.
Honestly, you'll be fine, though,
as long as you don't have Hanway, that guy sucks.
Don't scare me, please.
All right, ladies. See you around.
See ya.
Bye, Darius.
I just wanted to say- Can I tell you something?
Oh, sorry, you go.
You go first.
I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you that night.
It wasn't fair, especially on the anniversary.
It's okay, really.
No, I made it all about myself.
You were just trying to show me a good time.
You didn't deserve that.
Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
Do you have any plans this weekend? Are you doing anything tomorrow?
God. No, I don't have any plans. You?
Not yet.
Alright.
Where do you wanna go?
There's this one place Darius showed me.
Where do you wanna go?
Yes! Lets go!
This way!
Oh! My bad!
giggling
laughing
seagulls cawing, waves and wind blowing
laughter
music crescendos
"The Whole Time" by Sofia Camille & Paige Pedersen
Before I could see it
Or recognize
You're holding me through all of it
You're not surprised
When everything changes
The world rearranges, but you remain
And in all the turning
your love is still burning it's flame
And you had me the whole time
you had me the whole time
And now that I see it
I'll never let go
And even when I don't feel it
I still know that
When everything changes
The world rearranges
but you remain
And in all the turning
your love is still burning it's flame
You are my treasure
My pride and my pleasure,
you sold it all
If counted forever
still nothing could measure
your love for us
And you had me the whole time
you had me the whole time
You call me perfect, you call me worth it
You say I'm wonderful
You go before me,
you walk beside me
You're there to catch my fall
You call me perfect
You call me worth it
You say I am wonderful
You go before me,
you walk beside me
You're there to catch my fall
You call me perfect
You call me worth it
You say I am wonderful
Stop you guys!
It's in my throat gimme a sec
"Happy Birthday" to Tiffany
To many more!
No, listen. I get off work at 3, and the show doesn't start until 7.
So we both have enough time to-
Cora?
No, yeah, I'm here, sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Thank you for coming tonight.
I see a couple of new faces as well as some returning ones,
so welcome everyone.
For those of you who don't know, my name is Dr. Marcotte,
but feel free to refer to me in this space as Jasmine.
Now a little bit of background on the group.
I work here at the university with the psychology department
and the counseling center. And I started
this group about eight years ago-
how much longer?
I finished the outline, I just need you here for color and lighting.
You could just use a picture, though.
I could, but I like you here.
Okay, Mal.
Okay!
Cora?
Do you feel comfortable with speaking tonight?
I don't know. Maybe not tonight.
That's completely okay
I do hope to see you next time.
Well, thank you all for coming tonight
this has been a very powerful session
and I hope that has helped you all in some way
big or small, no matter where you are, always remember
progress is only forward. I'll see you all next week.
Hey.
Hi.
Cora, right?
Yeah.
I'm Ryan. I was also at meeting.
That's cool.
Are you waiting to be picked up?
No, I live on campus. It's like a six minute walk from here.
Oh okay. Then why are you waiting here?
I'm not. I only really use my dorm to sleep.
I like to be outside because it's the only place I can think.
Oh ok, I feel that.
I live off campus on Macory Street.
I'm waiting to be picked up by my roommate.
Cool.
Yeah.
Listen, I know these meetings can seem
like a weird mixture of cheesy and
way too emotionally intense at times.
Just take your time about talking.
I also didn't speak when I first came
at the start of the semester.
It's hard, but it helps.
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
Sure, anytime.
I'm not going to lie, I couldn't pay attention
to anyone this meeting.
Yeah, I noticed, so did Jasmine.
Um, the group leader, woman, person.
Oh, right. Yeah.
Are you friends or something?
She was my professor last semester.
She told me about the group.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
Well, I think I'm done being conscious for the day.
I'm gonna head back to my dorm.
It was nice meeting you.
Yeah, you too.
Are you coming back next week?
Not sure.
Cora! The light!
Sorry! Sorry.
Mom?
What are you doing? Slow down!
I hope we crash.
I hope I crash this car and we both die!
Mom what are you saying?
You're an abomination and I failed as a parent.
And I hope we both die! I hope I crash!
No! Stop it!
What if I come with you?
What? No. Are you crazy?
Hold on.
As friends, obviously I don't have to tell them about us.
Why on earth would you want to go?
Because I don't want to see you suffer by yourself.
Look, I already met your mother and I doubt she even
remembers me.
But I feel like I know everyone else from what you've told me.
No, they're different when they're all together.
Especially when my grandparents are there.
My mom becomes something else.
Well, maybe they won't say any of their
racist or homophobic shit if I'm there.
I don't know. Maybe.
You've already gone through this every single year by yourself,
and that's insufferable.
I don't want to see you do this alone again.
Let me help you through this. I can handle it.
I promise.
I love you
I love you, too.
Okay.
You sure?
Don't back out now, asshole.
Asshole? Who you calling an asshole?
Woah, okay!
Hi! Cora? I thought it was you, what's up?
Just finished eating breakfast and going to class now.
Cool. What class?
Gen Bio.
Glad I never had to take that one. What's your major?
Oh, I'm exploratory right now.
Oh, cool. There's no shame in that.
I mean, there's so many majors to choose from
and it's really important to take your own time, you know?
Yeah. Thanks. What about you?
I study social work.
Oh, I thought you would have been hospitality and tourism.
Yeah, I thought about that one too, but nah.
How do you like it?
I love it. It's a lot of work, but it's something
I'm really passionate about, you know?
Yeah, that's great.
Well, I think I'll see you. Have a good one!
You too.
All right now. Biological organization has emergent properties.
Life's basic characteristic is a high degree of order.
What about this guy?
He's cute.
Man, you're not even looking.
Sorry, I'm trying to focus on the lecture.
You know, the one for this class? That's in this building?
Since when do you give a shit about Gen Bio?
I don't. I'm just trying to do good this semester.
Do "well," you mean?
Shut up, English major.
You stressed about that dinner this week?
I'm stressed about Sebastian.
He has no idea what he's walking into.
Sebastian will be fine.
You and I both know
he's not the most calm and collected person,
especially around varying levels of bigotry.
Your grandparents are racist too?
They're from Polk County.
Racist too.
You're right, Sebastian's fucked.
I'm kidding!
I've known him forever, all right?
When it comes to people he cares about
he keeps his cool and his word.
I sure hope so.
Cora, Cora, hey
Got these kids movies. Can you put those up for me?
Yeah, no problem.
Thank you so much.
That's literally my favorite movie.
Really?
Yeah. It was the first movie directed by a black lesbian woman.
Cheryl Dun- Dunyi?
Dunye.
She's in the movie too. It's like, half-documentary, but not?
I don't know, I can't say too much. You have to watch it.
Looks really interesting. I see why they hired you. I'll take it.
I'm Mallory.
Cora.
So, are you going to be the next Cheryl, Cora?
No, I like watching them. Not making them.
Watching them with company is even better.
When's the last time you saw it?
It's been a while.
Hey. This is Sebastian. I can't answer right now,
so leave a message.
The mailbox is full and cannot accept
any messages at this time. Goodbye.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Michael, table is set. Come on.
Gracious God, we have sinned against thee
and are unworthy of thy mercy.
Pardon our sins and bless these mercies for our use.
And help us to eat and drink to thy glory.
For Christ's sake.
Amen.
Damn, Grandma. This is good.
Brandon, language.
Sorry.
That's okay, hon. Thank you.
So Michael, how's school going?
It's fine.
That all you're going to say to your grandmother, boy?
Sorry. It's going well.
I'm just really busy. Lots of studying.
Don't mind him. He's just upset that
some stranger ditched our family dinner.
You've literally met him before.
Regardless, I don't know why you invited him in the first place.
Yeah, me either.
Faggot.
Where's he from?
Venezuela.
Oh, that explains it.
Of course. What can you expect from them?
A bunch of lazy parasites.
Hey, who do you vote for? Wait, let me guess. He couldn't.
Venezuela is a mess of a country. They all are-
Why do you think they come here?
Hey, don't talk back to your grandmother!
Again with all this socialist crap.
It's not even socialism.
This is the best country in the world and yet
they come here and they want to complain about it.
Damn right.
Sebastian is a citizen. So are his parents.
I'm sure.
There they are again.
If I had my gun, I'd shoot them all.
The geese or the illegals?
The manners on that boy.
I don't know what I'm going to about that one.
Where the hell are you?
You make a big deal about showing and then you chicken out
and you don't even have the guts to tell me before-
Michael, listen to me.
Darius?
I'm at the hospital right now
something bad happened to Sebastian.
What happened?
Darius?
What happened?
He got into a car accident on his way over.
He was killed on impact.
I- I'm so sorry-
Michael?
So Brandon, finally getting out of school?
Yeah, I should have my degree within the year.
Maybe you should talk with him.
What's the matter with you?
Boy I'm talking to you.
Michael?
Sebastian is my boyfriend.
We were dating for nearly a year, and I couldn't tell you
because I didn't know how you would respond.
And I didn't want to disappoint you.
Now he's gone.
I loved him. And he's gone.
He's dead. He's dead.
He's dead.
God works in mysterious ways, Michael.
He has seen your sin, even though you hid it from us,
so he took matters into his own hands.
This is a good thing, Michael.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey! Talk to your mother like that
one more time and see what happens.
Your father would be so ashamed.
Did you fuck him? Or did he fuck you?
You're disgusting.
Tell me it wasn't my son with the dick up his ass.
He did so much more.
Brandon, take your grandmother to her room.
Brandon do what I told you, you miserable shit.
Please give your mother grandchildren, Brandon. Please.
We're going to fix you, Michael.
It's what God wants.
All right, everyone. Let's come back to our seats now.
It seems that none of you noticed
that I actually gave you 15 minutes.
Looked like you were all very immersed in your letters.
Now, these letters are meant to be for us and our loved ones.
But I would like to read mine out loud to you all. And
afterwards, if anyone else feels like sharing with the group,
then you're more than welcome.
Dear Amaria and Tyree, the loves of my life
these past few weeks have been busy and stressful, but
overall quite good. The weather has been pleasant
and bright, and the shining sun reminds me of you, Amaria.
You were a light for your father and I, and you're a light I'll carry
with me forever.
Tyree, please continue to take care of our daughter
wherever your spirits reside. I love and miss you
both so much, and I look
forward to seeing you again someday.
Hey there, Josh. I really, really miss you.
Mom and dad are doing okay. Definitely better.
Although they still go into your room to cry sometimes.
I would, too, if I wasn't away from home.
You would have loved college.
I really think you would have thrived here.
Find your real group of friends.
I'm still trying to find my tribe,
but it's definitely been easier here than back home.
I'm still proud of you for being such a fighter.
You're still the strongest person I know.
Love, Ryan.
That was beautiful, Ryan. Thank you for sharing.
I'm really sorry about your brother.
Thank you. The anniversary is coming up soon.
Wow.
Yeah. It'll be hard, but I'll be okay.
I noticed you didn't read your letter.
Yeah, big surprise there.
Do you have someone that you open up to?
A support system outside of all this?
No, not really.
Oh, that's a little concerning.
How so?
It's just really unhealthy to bottle those things up.
That's what these meetings are for. To open up, to get that
load off your chest and breathe.
Listen, I appreciate your concern,
but Jasmine was the one that said we could share
if we wanted to. Good for everyone else who
shared their letter to their dead loved ones.
But mine's more private.
And that's fine. I'm just saying you should have
some outlet, whether it's a person to vent to or
exercise or art.
Look, if you need a friend to talk to,
I'm here, just for future reference. But for now,
let me at least make sure you get home safe.
I've walked alone at this time before already.
No, I know. It's just safer.
I don't need or want you to, okay?
Don't you realize that you're coming on way too strong?
Is that seriously what you think I'm trying to do?
I'm not trying to hit on you.
I'm just trying to be a good person.
We're college students, and we go to a grief counseling
group every week. Grief counseling?
Seriously, no matter who asks us how we're doing,
"I'm fine," and "I'm okay," is a lie for all of us.
No, we're not okay. You're not okay.
You shouldn't have to be not okay.
At least not alone.
I'm not going to force my friendship on you.
I'm not going to force you to open up. No one is.
But unlike Dr. Marcotte,
it's not my job to make sure that you're okay.
It would be my privilege.
Wait!
I'm sorry, okay? It's just hard.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not okay.
I'm not fine. And no, I don't want to talk about it. But,
I'd be down to get some food right now if you are.
Taco place?
What? Would you rather have gone to some clich diner?
Hell, no. I'm so done with breakfast at any time of the day.
I was never really a fan of breakfast foods anyways.
Really?
No
Grits, bacon, hash browns?
I literally hate all those foods.
What?
I only really like eggs and waffles.
So did my brother.
Could I ask how did he pass?
Leukemia. He was such a fighter, though.
No one thought he would make it as far as he did.
He was stubborn like that.
I'm sorry.
Do you have any recommendations?
For first timers I usually recommend the
Korean barbecue pork tacos, but I'm more
partial to the fajita and shrimp tacos.
I'm allergic to shrimp, actually,
so I guess barbecue pork for me.
No, that sucks. I love shrimp
Really?
Yeah.
They're like the roaches of the sea.
Oh, my God. What?!
They have these little legs that squirm around in the water.
EW. No. That's so nasty. Thank you.
Thank you for putting that in my head.
You're welcome.
Hey, this is Sebastian.
I can't answer right now, so leave a message.
The mailbox is full and cannot accept
any messages at this time. Goodbye.
Hey, this is Sebastian. I can't answer right now,
so leave a message.
The mailbox is full. I cannot accept
any messages at this time. Goodbye.
I dropped him off at the airport.
I didn't see Michael in his room.
Did you send him to that
place Grandpa told you about?
I didn't send him anywhere, Brandon. He's 18.
Michael went willingly. Grandfather made sure of that.
But I don't think he should be there. Mom, he lost someone.
Someone who was going to drag him straight to hell.
Is that what you want for your brother? Is it?
Ever since your father died, I had to raise the both of you
by myself. Do you know how much I had to
sacrifice to give you to the life that you have?
Do you?
My blood, sweat and tears
will not be wasted.
I won't have anybody corrupt my son
So man up.
Yes! We made it just in time.
The show doesn't start until around midnight.
Even so, the gays are never really on time.
True. I can't believe you've never seen the drag show.
I can't believe you go to clubs that cater to gay guys.
Well, it's the only place in town
I won't get hit on by men, so I'll take it.
Amen. Do girls ever hit on you?
Do you count exchanging glances from far away
but never actually making a move?
God, it is impossible to flirt as a queer girl.
I'm not the flirting type, so I wouldn't know.
We just compliment one another and we never
really know if we're flirting or being nice.
Well, in that case, I definitely haven't been hit on.
Oh, shut up. I'm sure you have been.
You okay?
Yeah,
yeah I'm fine.
What the fuck?
Hey
What are you doing here?
I thought this wasn't your scene or whatever.
It's not I just wanted to see you.
You've come to see me perform?
No, I don't think so. I'll probably just stay back here.
What?
I'm starting the show, baby.
Is this DL white boy bothering you?
No, he's not. Just start the show.
Mhmm
I'm tired of getting my hopes up for some
frat boy that doesn't know what he wants.
I do know what I want. I'm just-
Scared.
I get it, I do. But this is a safe space.
There's nothing to worry about
I mean look how I'm dressed.
There's nothing that's going to happen to you.
There's nothing to worry about, I promise.
How's everyone doing tonight, are we having fun out here?
Are we drinking!?
Well we as drag queens,
there are two things that we love the most.
One of those things which you are already doing is
making noise. Let me hear you!
Yes!
Second thing that we love. We like your ones.
Okay!
Your fives, your tens!
Uh huh!
We like your 20s. If you give me a 20
one of those bitches in the back
will do something special for you.
Are you ready to see a show out here tonight?
Well, we have a special show for you tonight.
Welcome to the stage, the one and only
Miss Lesby Honest!
Woo! Work!
Wooo! Work!
Hey.
Hey are you okay?
Hey, I know you!
I know you, too.
Hey it's okay! Just breathe, just breathe-
No, no, please! I need some space!
I know you.
No you don't.
Yeah.
You're Michael's piece of shit brother. Where the fuck is he?
Hey, back off.
What are you doing at our fag bar?
Watch it.
Are you a faggot too, Brandon?
Can ya'll get them out of here?
I'm sorry. I didn't know how crowded it was going to be.
Are you claustrophobic?
No.
I don't know. I just needed to get out of there.
Do you want to talk about it?
Get them out of here!
What the fuck's your problem, man?
My fucking problem?
My best friend is dead because of you and your psycho family.
If you all weren't such pieces of shit
he wouldn't have to come over and make your brother feel
like a human being in his own home.
You did this to him, you-
You and your family.
I could-
Fucking!
Hey, do you need a ride home?
Yeah, he needs a ride home. Come on, lets go.
Lost a nail.
You said it was safe.
Get off of me.
You said I had nothing to worry about.
Fuck off.
They saw me, a bunch of them.
Who was that guy you fought with?
Listen, I don't know what kind of
internalized bullshit you're dealing with here,
but I don't want anything to do with it, okay?
This is a problem with you,
not me, not them, not even your family.
Whatever this is, was, I don't want anything to do with it
okay? we're done.
Get out.
You said down Threap Road, right?
Yeah.
I'll bring him up to his room.
Oh shit.
Thank you, sincerely.
Hey, wait.
I'm really sorry about your friend.
I don't know what to do.
Here. Give me your phone.
This is my number if you need it.
There's this grief group I go to every Thursday at eight
in the community center rec room.
It could really help.
Grief group?
Has it helped you?
I don't know yet.
Is he okay?
I think I'd like to go home now.
Where were you?
I thought you were in bed.
You didn't answer my question.
I was at a bar with the guys.
Who did this?
Did they ask where Michael was?
Who did this?
Thanks for the ride.
Yeah, of course.
Sorry about, well, everything that happened tonight.
It's fine. You couldn't have known.
That poor guy.
I told him about Dr. Marcotte's group.
That was nice of you.
Yeah.
My girlfriend
killed herself
I'm sorry.
It's complicated.
I don't really want to get into it right now.
Tonight was just very triggering.
The crowd. That guy.
I found this in my bag a few weeks ago.
I can't even bring myself to open it.
Like, everything that she did to me
and what she did to herself
makes me anxious every time I look at it.
and I just-
I mean- I just- I don't-
Cora
that slip
it's from me.
What?
I completely forgot I put it into your bag.
It's so stupid.
I didn't mean to do that to you.
"Cora,
just wanted to let you know that I think you're very beautiful.
Looking forward to getting to know you. Ryan."
Yep
This is very sweet. I just thought-
I'm sorry if it wasn't what you were expecting.
Or I guess who you were expecting it from.
So you were hitting on me?
I mean
Yes and no?
I don't know why I did that
It's so creepy. Now that I think about it.
You really had me think that this was from her.
I'm sorry.
Stop saying sorry.
It's not your fault, okay?
I just-
I prepared myself to read this bullshit
and see what she finally had to say for herself.
Nothing. She didn't say anything.
You've seen what happens when I open up.
Nothing good.
I'll see you.
Please don't.
Just let me help. Okay?
If you put the smaller ones on first
and the larger ones on top, it puts less strain
on your back. Drags you down less.
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
It's not his fault.
What did I say?
No talking to each other.
No looking at each other.
And no touching each other.
He didn't-
Shut up.
Beat each other.
These rocks are for you to feel the burden of your sins
and yours alone.
You want to touch each other? Fine.
Fight then.
No?
Good!
Good.
Now let's see what you got.
Keep going.
You know the drill. 5 hours. No moving,
no sitting. And don't put that bag down.
If I catch you doing any of those,
I'll add five more hours.
We were such punks when we used to live in Caracas.
We'd always get into fights with kids in the playground.
And then we get grounded. But we just sneak back out and
talk, talk for hours about all kinds of bullshit
till five in the morning.
We'd tell each other everything.
Now,
I just have these dreams.
Yo what's up, bro?
Que paso?
Hey.
He just shows up to my door and there's something
wrong. Terribly wrong.
But he doesn't tell me. He just cries into
my arms and collapsed onto the floor.
But I can't hear what he's telling me because he's
crying so hard.
This wound is still so fresh Darius.
It's normal to experience these kinds of dreams.
I just I can't help but think
if I hadn't met Michael, if I hadn't introduced them.
You can't think like that.
Thinking like that,
it's going to eat you up inside.
It's destructive and irrational.
You can't go back in time,
only forward.
Would you mind giving me a ride back home?
Sure.
Thank you so much my roommate was supposed to pick me up-
Cora.
I was wondering if we could have a quick little talk.
That is, if you have the time spare.
Sure.
I really appreciate you speaking up today.
Do you know Darius?
No. Well, kind of. I think he's in one of my classes.
But I bumped into him last week. Heard about what
happened, told him about this.
I'm glad you did
It was very thoughtful of you.
You know, for someone who doesn't speak at our sessions,
I can tell you have a lot to say.
Or at least a lot on your mind.
What makes you say that?
The letter writing exercise we did last week.
It took a bit for you to get started, but
when I saw how much you wrote,
how much you needed to say
don't worry, I'm not going to make you share it with me.
If keeping things to yourself helps, then by all means.
But I do worry about you keeping things bottled up.
That's why it gave me such joy to see you
pour your heart into that letter.
I had a lot to say to her, I guess.
Ryan didn't come tonight.
No, she didn't.
This week is the anniversary of her brother's passing.
Shit
I forgot that was coming up.
I could call her or text her,
but we kind of had a hiccup
and we're sort of in a weird place, friendship-wise.
She'll be okay. She just needs a little time to
herself and to grieve.
Anniversaries can be
difficult.
Want to talk about this hiccup you two had?
I don't know.
She's been a good friend, but
she has these feelings for me, and
it's just a little awkward right now.
I see. Actually, I'm not that surprised.
Ryan is a very emotional person.
I remember when she first started coming here,
she couldn't get through a sentence without crying.
Poor thing.
I see your pain, Cora.
But sometimes the only way to get better is
to talk about it.
I like to think that you come to our sessions
in the hopes that one day
you'll share your vulnerabilities with us
like we shared ours.
I don't know how. Okay?
Every time I come in here, I just feel everyone's eyes on me,
waiting for me to tell them my whole life story
or my deepest, darkest secrets
or silently pressuring me to talk about something
I don't even know how to talk about.
I hear everyone's stories about how they cope
and how much they miss their dead loved ones.
But it's just different for me.
Its scary to talk about, and it's scary to relive,
and I've been judged and hurt my whole life, and
I don't know if I can talk about it like everyone else.
It's more complicated than death.
My ex.
She- um,
I was-
I'm sorry.
Shit.
Darius Gonzales?
Yeah.
Turn around, please. Turn around, please.
Arms behind your back.
Could you just tell me- what did I do?
You're under arrest for the battery of Brandon Flynn.
Brandon? That motherfucker should be going to jail, not me!
This can't be freaking real, I didn't do anything man!
Calm down, man.
This guy should be going to jail, not me!
Tell it to the judge at first appearance, okay?
Watch your head. Get in.
You good? You comfy?
Come on, man. Let me at least
get a fucking phone call, something man-
Come to the bar please!
You can't just throw me in here-
We will appoint you a public defender tomorrow, okay?
Just spend the night in here.
There we go, in please.
Let me just get a phone call and talk to somebody, please.
Judge will talk to you tomorrow morning.
I'll give you a wake up call.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Why does this fucking shit keep happening to me?
Fuck.
Hi. This is Ryan. I can't come to the phone right now
so please leave a message after the beep and I'll
get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.
Hey, Ryan, it's Cora.
I noticed you weren't at group tonight.
I'm really sorry about what happened earlier.
I hope you're doing okay.
Talk to you later,
hopefully.
Here, come on.
No, Mal, please I don't want-
Open.
Take it, come on.
Good girl, that's my girl.
I'll be right back.
Mal?
Mallory?
Hey, hey, its me. Look, look at me.
Gonzales!
Come on, you made bail.
Alright come on out. Wait.
Let's go.
To the right.
Sign out.
Did you pay for my bail?
Mhm.
Why?
Come with me. Let's go to my office.
Please have a seat.
Amaria and Tyree. I don't think you've been around
when I spoke about them before.
Their loss was brutal for me.
It happened many years ago, and back then, I went to a group
similar to the one that I started here.
Helped me out of a very dark place.
So I try to do the same for the students here.
But I still have my bad days.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Look Dr. Marcotte
why did you bail me out?
Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to you. But
you hardly know me. Why am I here?
I see a lot of myself in you.
That deep anger, the immense guilt.
I see a lot of myself in Cora too. That young woman,
her grief is profound, malignant.
I fear for her well being.
She needs a friend and I have a feeling she'll open up to you.
Me? Why me?
You were able to make her finally speak up during our session.
Before that, she always just kept herself.
It's like you're trying to steal my job.
Well, with all due respect, Dr. Marcotte.
I think she's better off without me.
What are you doing?
I'm just getting rid of some of his things.
You can't even say his name. Michael.
Your son's name is Michael.
He's not my son anymore. Not until he gets better.
How can you say that? He's your child.
Brandon, I just-
No! Get better?
There was nothing wrong with him to begin with.
Of course there is.
Brandon, I don't know what's gotten into you
but you know better.
Yeah, I do.
Where are you going?
To get him out of there.
Over my dead body.
Brandon you will not let that faggot out of there.
Well, this faggot is going to go free his brother
from that place and from you.
I don't want to see either of you again. Don't come back.
Ever.
Take a hard, long look at that portrait in the living room.
We already lost him for good. You really want to lose us too?
For what, mom?
Have you been in bed all day?
Hello?
Hey. You want to go for a drive?
What?
Are you busy right now?
No, I'm just in my dorm.
Perfect. Which dorm?
The one next to the science library.
All right, cool. See you soon.
I guess I'll just meet you downstairs.
Oh no no no, it's fine, you don't have to-
Shit.
Where are we going?
You'll see.
Just had to get out of that bubble back there, both of us did.
What is this place?
Sebastian actually found it.
We'd always come here whenever we ditched class.
Come smoke, talk shit. Just exist.
Why did you bring me here?
Because you don't have to exist alone.
Brandon?
Sir, you really can't be here- oh!
Holy shit.
Michael, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am.
I'm so sorry, Michael.
It's okay. I'm just glad you're here now.
Come on. Lets get you out of here.
Wait.
Come with us.
I can't. I have to stay here.
What? Why?
I'm not 18 like you.
You said your mom forced you to sign yourself in.
You can leave. I can't.
We could go to the police. We could get help.
We could find someone-
it's okay. I'll be okay.
Go.
Hey!
Cora. I'm here for you, all right?
No judging, no pity.
I'm all ears.
Let me help you.
Okay.
It happened at a party at her house.
She forced me to take something.
I had no control. She took me to her room.
She-
I was raped.
When I got home, I didn't answer her calls for weeks.
And then I found out that she killed herself.
I don't know. She didn't leave a note, so
I don't know if she felt guilty for what she did
or if she was depressed, I don't know.
I can't help but think that
I could have known if I just answered her calls.
It's hard to grieve her
because part of me misses her.
The other part of me is glad that she's dead.
And I feel like a horrible person,
for even being a little bit relieved that she's dead.
I'm so, so sorry that that happened to you, its-
I'm going to say something that you might not like,
but I think it's important that you hear what I have to think.
You shouldn't feel bad that your abuser is dead.
Her poison is out of your life. You can breathe now.
And everything she did to you.
I have no remorse for people like that. None.
You deserve love, and only love.
Really? My underage brother doesn't drink?
Oh, I drink. Just not that shit.
Wow. Harsh. Uh, let me guess: Vodka cranberry.
How did you know?
Lucky guess.
You remind me of someone else I disappointed.
You too, huh?
Yup.
I should have known. Bet mom took that real well.
I didn't really give her enough time to process it.
Smart.
Listen, I'm sorry about Sebastian.
I never got a chance to tell you that.
Yeah, you were too busy letting Grandpa beat me.
My whole life, I did what they told me to do.
Part of me was always jealous by the way
you'd pushed back against all of them, including me.
You were never as scared as I was.
You were braver than I ever could be.
Damn right.
We can't go back there.
No, we can't.
But we'll figure something out.
I grieved you because I loved you
and I missed the good parts of you,
but it was the pain from what you did that truly crushed me
You took everything I gave you
and you selfishly made it your own.
I was never your property when you were alive,
and I refuse to be your property now that you're gone.
Regardless, I still wish you the best, wherever you are.
Sincerely, Cora.
That was really nice tonight.
Yeah, it was awesome. I love her, I wanna keep coming back.
That was really amazing, Cora Your writing is really powerful.
I agree. I think we should change your major to creative writing.
You guys are too sweet,
but I'm thinking more of the realm of psychology.
That means you have to take actual biology.
Shit. You're right.
Honestly, you'll be fine, though,
as long as you don't have Hanway, that guy sucks.
Don't scare me, please.
All right, ladies. See you around.
See ya.
Bye, Darius.
I just wanted to say- Can I tell you something?
Oh, sorry, you go.
You go first.
I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you that night.
It wasn't fair, especially on the anniversary.
It's okay, really.
No, I made it all about myself.
You were just trying to show me a good time.
You didn't deserve that.
Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
Do you have any plans this weekend? Are you doing anything tomorrow?
God. No, I don't have any plans. You?
Not yet.
Alright.
Where do you wanna go?
There's this one place Darius showed me.
Where do you wanna go?
Yes! Lets go!
This way!
Oh! My bad!
giggling
laughing
seagulls cawing, waves and wind blowing
laughter
music crescendos
"The Whole Time" by Sofia Camille & Paige Pedersen
Before I could see it
Or recognize
You're holding me through all of it
You're not surprised
When everything changes
The world rearranges, but you remain
And in all the turning
your love is still burning it's flame
And you had me the whole time
you had me the whole time
And now that I see it
I'll never let go
And even when I don't feel it
I still know that
When everything changes
The world rearranges
but you remain
And in all the turning
your love is still burning it's flame
You are my treasure
My pride and my pleasure,
you sold it all
If counted forever
still nothing could measure
your love for us
And you had me the whole time
you had me the whole time
You call me perfect, you call me worth it
You say I'm wonderful
You go before me,
you walk beside me
You're there to catch my fall
You call me perfect
You call me worth it
You say I am wonderful
You go before me,
you walk beside me
You're there to catch my fall
You call me perfect
You call me worth it
You say I am wonderful
Stop you guys!
It's in my throat gimme a sec
"Happy Birthday" to Tiffany
To many more!