Studio 666 (2022) Movie Script

Why?
We did everything!
Okay, so check it out.
"Dune" and "Waterworld"
are like the best movies
in the last 30 years.
Did you see Kevin Costner?
He's a fucking merman!
Did you see the fucking
things behind his ears?
I mean, that's
where the gills were.
You know that, right?
He was like half fish.
- What about "Dune"?
"Dune" is 80's.
Waterworld's all water
and no dune.
And also no Sting in the...
It's a thong.
- It's like a space thong.
Shill: Space thong?
You guys talking about Sting?
Do you know what Sting does?
Are you aware of this?
I don't know if you know this.
He delivers albums.
Where's my fucking record,
Grohl?
- It's all up here.
Shill: Oh, is it?
Yeah, it's all up here.
And in there, and in there,
and in there, and in there.
Not so much here, but I got it,
man. It's all in here.
I think, personally,
that doesn't amount
to a bucket of frozen shit.
I don't know where you get
a bucket of frozen shit,
but that's what it's about!
When you fucking tell me
you've got a record,
all I got is a bucket
of frozen shit!
I'm up to my eyeballs
in debt and I gotta pay
some crazy piece
of shit motherfuckers
who I owe so much money to
and I just found out
they may be the ones
who fucking sliced up
that journalist in Turkey.
I'm just... I just wanna give
you the fucking album
that you want, so you can
pay off those people
before they turn your nut sack
into a fucking coin purse.
- Relax.
- Oh.
Did you just say "Relax"?
Yeah. So here's the thing.
We were thinking...
It's our tenth album, okay?
We can't do the same old shit.
We gotta break
the fucking mold on this one.
Yeah, Shill, this-this record,
it... it's gotta fucking
blow your fucking dick
right into your fucking mouth.
Blow your own dick
into your mouth?
Yeah, right back up
into your mouth, man.
- Right back up into your mouth?
- Yeah.
Like it's been there before?
What kind of goal is that?
I don't want that album.
Unless it makes me
a lot of money.
Lot of money?
Blow all the dicks you want.
Look, I can get you a studio,
anywhere you want
in town tomorrow.
We've used all those
studios, okay?
They all sound exactly
the fucking same, okay.
Let's think outside the box.
Let's go somewhere
we've never been.
Let's go to a cool place...
Like Zeppelin.
When Zeppelin went to the castle
and there was the devil
and the wizards
and the dragons and shit.
Alright. So, you want me to find
you some wizards and dragons?
Yes! That's what
we should be doing.
You want that?
You want that?
Watch as I make this happen.
Holy shit. You fuckers
are not gonna believe it.
I got it. You gotta trust me
and let me do this.
Chilly Shills.
What can I do for you, sunshine?
Hey, Barb! I'm here in my office
with the Foo Fighters!
And they're looking for a place
to record a new album.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Oh, I do know
what you're thinking,
and I have the perfect place.
Foo Fighters... Oh, I thought
this time would never come.
Listen, I gotta jump,
but I'll shoot you
the address in the A.M.
This place is to die for.
Prozem high five, up top.
Jeremy is fucking smoking!
Hi, Dave Grohl.
I'm Barb Weems.
- Hi, Barb. How are you?
- How are you? I'm such a fan.
I would love to get a selfie
later, if that's okay with you.
Hello, Foos! How are you?
It's so nice to meet you.
Barb Weems.
So, this is the house,
and it is incredible.
I can't wait to show it to you.
Come on. This place...
Okay, I know
what you guys are thinking.
It needs a little
sprucey-goosey, and I agree.
But here's the thing,
this place has some
serious rock and roll pedigree.
I mean, it rolls deep.
A huge music manager owned
this place in the 70s and 80s
and threw some wild parties.
Come, come.
How sexy is this
stone-finished pool?
I can already see the girls
in their bikinis.
Ooh, it's gonna be fun. Are you
gonna invite me to your parties?
Look at this state
of the art kitchen.
Do we have any chefs
in the group?
I'm pretty handy on the grill.
- Oh.
- Yeah. Right, guys?
Yeah, if you like your
meat charred and dry.
- Am I right?
- M-mm.
Take a look at the other room.
Fuck you.
This is my favorite room
in the house.
These are original
Babette Fosters.
You know, they stopped
production on those in the 80's.
I do love a good sconce.
But I don't know, it definitely
has a weird energy.
You guys feel that?
Do you guys get this
overwhelming sense of...
death and doom?
Or is that just me?
Yeah, like someone's gonna
jump through the window
and start stabbing us
in the eyes!
Okay, I'm gonna be really
straight with you guys.
There was another band,
and they lived here in the 90's.
They thought the sound
was incredible.
But they never finished
their album.
Creative differences.
I don't know.
Just doesn't really seem
like the right fit.
Wow, do you hear that?
That's fucking rad.
Whoa!
You hear that?
Okay, so if we put the drums
right here, facing this way
and then we could put
the guitar stuff right here.
And we could do keyboards
like over there.
We can put the mixing desk
in the bedroom up there.
Mm, you know...
We'll take it.
Oh, well, that is music
to my ears, baby.
I'll go draw up that paperwork
right now.
Yay! I knew you would love it.
Okay, you guys, check it out.
The sound of this house
is the sound of album ten.
No songs yet.
But we got the sound.
Alright, alright, you guys,
you know the drill.
All gear in the house.
Amps, living room.
Snare drum, shitty job,
living room.
Expensive shit, guitars,
by the amp line
in the living room.
Just fucking hate this shit.
It's like a quarter of an inch
that way. Just a little...
It's like a hair more.
Just like a tiny...
Now it's too far.
Gotta bring it back.
- Did you hear that?
- I did.
Sweet, huh?
Whatever, Dave.
Who cares about
a creepy death vibe...
drum sounds this good?
Alright, here's the deal.
Shill's a dick,
we know this, right?
But this is our tenth record,
okay?
It's gotta be good.
But we gotta make it fast.
We gotta eat, sleep
and drink this motherfucker.
So I'm thinkin'
we move in to record.
No, no, no. Hear me out.
Hear me out. Hear me out.
Two weeks, tops.
Maybe a month.
A month in this
fucking shithole?
And then we can go on
with our normal lives.
You tell my wife.
I'm not telling her.
I'll tell your wife
if you tell my wife.
I'll tell my own wife, but
someone's gotta talk to my kids.
What am I gonna tell my grandma?
Oh, I can call your grandma.
She loves me.
You remember the Hanukkah party?
Chris: Oh, yeah.
Come here, Grandma.
Sit down.
Mm...
Come on, baby, just touch it.
Just touch it.
Yeah!
Rami's not gonna know.
Stay away from my bubi!
Well, I guess that's settled.
I got master bedroom.
Ooh, I get
the guest house.
Chris: I'll see you guys later.
No. No.
No, no, no.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Hey, hey, hey!
Yo! Excuse me!
That's weird.
How we looking, man?
We all good?
Yeah, we're all good on our end.
Just need some juice
and we can start
mic-ing up the room.
Goddamnit!
Dude, who wired this house,
a bunch of fucking
mental patients?
Fuck.
Jesus Christ!
No, no, no! Don't touch him!
He's still hot!
- Oh, what the fuck?
- Holy shit!
Wow.
He's totally fried.
He's fucking dead!
Oh, man.
Krug! Krug!
Jagermeister! Krug!
Krug!
Guess we should pack up.
That was a short-lived
experiment.
You know, it's funny...
Hold on, guys. One second.
Check it out.
Krug was really into this place.
You know, the way
the drums sounded.
Dave, seriously,
the guy just got turned
into a fucking bratwurst.
Exactly why we should
stay here and make the record.
Okay?
It'll give his life meaning.
You know? We could
dedicate it to Krug.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I guess we can do a couple of
drum tracks here in his honor.
Exactly. That's what
I'm talking about right there.
We have to have some
fun with it, you know?
For Krug!
People think I look
a lot like Willie Nelson.
Oh, you know what, you guys?
I forgot to tell you.
Earlier today,
before Krug got zapped,
there was this weird dude
in the yard creeping around.
What kind of dude?
Some weird guy who was like
trimming the hedges and stuff.
The killer gardener of Encino.
Wouldn't be surprised
in this house.
- Help.
- Oh, my God!
- What the fuck! Shit!
- Dude, you alright, David?
The meat...
it's Krug.
Ugh...
You know, usually
I have a clear idea
of what we're going to do...
but ever since we
moved into this house,
my mind is flooded...
where it's like,
sometimes it's like Prince
and then it's like Slayer.
Then it's like fucking
Lawrence Welk.
What is it?
You guys hear that?
Probably some raccoon, I heard
'em eating the trash last night.
Probably that creeper dude!
He better not be filming this!
Hey, neighbor!
God!
You should have seen your face.
Or should I say "Feces"?
I mean, you looked like
you crapped your pants.
- Yeah.
- I'm Samantha.
I live right next door, I just
wanted to introduce myself
in case you boys
needed anything.
A cup of sugar.
Back-up singer.
I got another
confession to make
I'm your fool
Were you born to resist
Or be abused?
Is someone getting the best
The best, the best,
the best of you
Oh, thank you.
We'll let you know
about that one.
Okay. I'm around.
Let me apologize in advance
for all the rock
we're about to make.
Oh, I can't hear anything over
my Portuguese singing bowls.
Ooh, those vibrations elevate
the frequency of the psyche.
Play your cards right, maybe
you will get a sound bath later.
Okay, Rami-o.
Let's keep it moving.
Bye.
Namaste.
Hey, is there some sort
of gardener dude
that takes care of the property.
Trimming hedges and stuff?
No, Dave. Nobody lives here.
This house has been empty
for years.
Okay, check it out,
I got a couple new riff ideas
I've been working on.
I'm gonna lay them on you.
Riff number one.
Sounds like this.
So "All My Life"?
Shit!
Okay, hold on.
I got one more.
Dude, wait, wait, wait.
T-that's a great fucking song.
It's called "Everlong," and you
wrote it about 20 years ago.
What?
The well's run dry.
I've written
all my songs already.
Ugh! All I have are
these random snippets of
fossilized MTV bullshit
in my head.
Dude, dude. Look here.
Have you ever tried meditating?
Fuck meditating
in the ass, Rami!
Alright, I'm gonna step out
for a minute, guys.
Why don't we give Dave
a little space here?
Yeah.
Something will come.
Ugh.
Son of a fucking bitch!
I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed
Your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass
Outside my door
Hello
- Hello, Dave.
- Lionel!
We all have writer's block,
you know?
Mm-hmm.
But that's my fucking song.
- That's my fucking song!
- Mm-hmm.
You understand what I'm saying?
I like that song.
No, no, no.
I love that song!
That's one of my favorite songs.
I love singing that song.
- Mm-hmm.
- Love that song!
Get your own song!
Nerd.
Taylor, sleep in your own bed.
Taylor?
You're...
not...
the first!
Krug! Oh, my God,
I'm so sorry!
They are watching!
No, Krug!
What the fuck!
What the fuck!
Oh, my God!
Fuck this.
I'm starving.
Yeah, I got like three
or four chicken parms here?
Wha...
You're Dave Grohl!
What?
Yeah, I get that all the time.
Ah, right. Yeah.
I heard about this.
You're like incognito, right?
No, see, I'm not Dave Grohl.
Dave Grohl can
actually write music.
Don't.
I'm seriously a huge fan.
You're like my second favorite
band after Coldplay.
You know, I asked
for extra ranch.
Oh, yeah, and I'll go run back,
get some for you.
Yeah, 'cause it'll only
take a few minutes.
You know, I'm in a band, yeah.
But, yeah, I'll run back
and get some ranch...
and drop it off with my demo,
if that's cool.
I'll just use the marinara.
Hey, what's up? This is Bob
from playthisriff.com.
And you've come here today
because you have song writing
constipation.
So, when I have song writing
constipation
and I want a violent,
greasy dose of the hits
I turn to classic riff
structure,
like this.
Check it out. Part-A.
Part-B.
Part-A again.
Part-C.
Am I the only one who cares
about the drought around here?
Oh! Fuck!
Ahh!
What the fuck?
Who kills a fucking raccoon?
Ugh...
Hang on.
He's real.
Man 1: Dave...
Hey...
"Dream Window." No way.
It's fucking incredible.
Fuck, yeah.
It's the sound.
It's this fucking sound.
Yes! Fuck, yes!
Fuck!
It's fucking incredible!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. Don't stop.
There's gotta be more.
Fuck, there's gotta be more.
Please, God.
Please, please, please.
Fuck!
No.
Shit!
Goddamnit!
God, it was perfect!
Finish it
and it begins.
Finish it and it begins.
Finish it and it begins.
Fuck.
Finish it.
What are you doing?
There's a dead raccoon in there.
Dick.
- Wow.
- Awesome, man.
- Whoo!
- Ooh! Fuck.
It was like you were
musically constipated
and now you just took
the biggest musical shit on us.
- Fucking awesome!
- I know, right?
I'm still working on it.
It's like a 100 ideas in my head
just fighting to get out.
Could be a double,
maybe a triple album.
- I don't know.
- Let's get to work.
Fuck you, Nate. Don't tell me
what to do, asshole.
Told you it would come, man.
Yeah, you did, didn't you?
What key is this in?
I sharp.
You found a new musical note?
Hell motherfucking yes, I did.
Came to me last night.
Just dropped in my head.
Like, boom!
You're welcome, music.
So, the I sharp,
that's basically an E flat,
only like an octave up?
It's not an E, it's an I.
If you guys could just like open
up your hearts and minds,
you know, maybe you'd
be able to hear it.
So, what happened to H, I, J, K?
G, H, I don't give a fuck!
It's I sharp, okay, you guys?
That's the root note
of the song.
Yes, yes, you're getting warmer.
Yes.
Pat, you're cold,
like North Pole, Antarctica.
Not even close.
I think I'm feeling something.
Oh, God! Who the fuck!
Hello?
Oh, any hungry
rock stars in there
want some num-nummy treats.
Oh, God, I detest that woman.
Ugh...
- Lemon bar?
- Go away!
Dude, lighten up.
She's hot.
Hello, beautiful.
What's up?
Some fresh-baked lemon bars
for my favorite band.
It's my grandma's recipe,
but I added
my own little twist to it.
- Ooh, is that cocaine?
- Mm-hmm.
Not a good time right now 'cause
we're working on music, okay?
How you feeling?
Everything okay?
Never better.
- I'll get rid of her.
- Get her the fuck out of here!
Hey. Sorry, he gets really
intense when we're recording.
I need to talk to you, alone.
Ooh, I'd like
to get you alone, too.
No, it's about this house.
There's something evil.
I should go.
Dave seems stressed.
Hey, how about that
sound bath later?
- What the fuck, cock-blocker!
- Fuck you, Rami!
Wait, wait, wait!
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Uh, Taylor, take it
from the... from the
boom-bah-boom-bah-boom-bah part.
There's like eight
thousand boom-bahs.
- Which one do you mean?
- You know which one.
You know we're coming in at 23
minutes and counting, right?
So what?
So maybe we have a song
that has no end.
So, we're not close.
I mean, to me it just
feels like there's
something missing, you know?
Uh-oh, you know, guys, let's
just run through what we've got.
I'm sure you'll get it.
Thanks, Chris.
You fucking asshole!
Go!
One, two, three, four.
- Nate!
- What?
I got an idea, okay?
Downstairs, now. Let's go.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
- Taylor!
- Yo, what up, D?
I got an idea. Come downstairs.
Oh, fuck.
- Are those mine?
- Oh, yeah. I borrowed them.
- Have you seen Pat?
- No idea.
Hey, Pat!
In here.
What are you doing in here?
Well, this is the most
comfortable place I could find.
And there's snacks.
Oh.
Voila!
- You made this?
- Yeah.
It's like the only thing that'll
get this song out of
my head, you know?
- And that's the song?
- Exactly.
So, each one of these little
nails is one of us.
The yarn represents
the vibrations of sound
that our music makes
connecting all of us
in an unending form.
It's like the universe.
There's no beginnings, no end.
Great, Dave. Can we pick
this up in the morning?
Well, I kind of had these
new ideas, and I was hoping
maybe we could put them down
tonight so I don't forget them.
No, man, I gotta go to sleep.
I'm tired.
What did you just say?
Come on, I don't even
have a bedroom.
I never get any sleep.
Let's just do this tomorrow.
Before that. Small word.
Begins with an N,
ends with an O.
Nothing in between.
No. I said no.
No?
Did you just say no
to Dave Grohl?
I'm a fucking rock star!
Okay, I get whatever I want,
whenever I want!
The best parking wherever
I go for eternity!
Them's the rules!
Come on, come on.
Talk to Jimmy Page
if you don't like it.
Dude, what the fuck?
I'll do it if you stop being
such a fucking dick!
Thank you.
Can we just do this, please?
- One, two, three...
- No, no, hey, hey!
Is there any way
you could count it like
five, six, seven, eight!
Like a fucking dancer
counting in a dance?
That's fine. Cool
Five, six, seven, eight!
He has gone fucking crazy!
Like, ass-flapping,
dick-slapping,
One-Flew-Over-the-Cuckoo's-Nest
crazy.
Listen, come on, guys,
let's just buckle down,
give him what he wants...
and we can get
the fuck out of here.
- Yeah, but what does he want?
Hey, guys!
Iksnay on the Aveday.
- What's up, guys?
- Hey.
- What's happening?
- What's up?
Hey, um, I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being
such a giant, red,
puckered orangutan's
asshole last night.
This album means
the world to me, okay?
And I think I just
let it take over,
and I treated you like shit...
and I'm really sorry.
Which one of you gave
Dave a hummer?
- Rami.
- Rami.
Listen, we're so close, okay?
If we could just finish
this song...
tonight, we'll be out by Sunday.
Promise.
Stick with me. We can do this.
- The song is pretty epic, dude.
- Right?
I do think it should have
an ending, by the way.
- Thank God.
- Okay.
So I have this idea, right?
It starts with Nate, the root,
the foundation,
the bass. Nate goes...
Chris, Rami,
you come in like warships,
banging off each other.
Then Rami, you're all...
Pat, Taylor, you come in like
riders of the Apocalypse.
Bam!
Like that! You know
what I'm saying?
We got this. Right?
- Yeah, we can do this.
- Pearl Jam high five.
Pearl Jam high five.
Break! We're still alive.
Come on, let's go!
You sure you want us to leave?
- I think we're all good.
- Alright.
Well, if you track anything
this weekend
just pop it onto a drive
and we'll mix it on Monday.
Let's get out of here.
How's it going, bro?
How's it sounding?
It's good. I'm just
cleaning up some tracks.
Cool, man. I haven't seen you
eat anything all day.
Are you hungry? How about some
grill action, dude?
No. I ordered a shit-ton of
steaks earlier.
The guy should be
here any minute.
Cool, man. I'll... I'll let you
know when he's here.
"Oh, Dave, I forgot you were
staying here!"
"Oh! Well, uh, here's your
food and, uh,"
yeah, I brought you that CD
I was talking about."
Agh, he's not gonna buy that.
Come on!
You are a worthy
and talented musician.
I'm a worthy
and talented musician!
"Hey, Dave, brought you a bunch
of extra ranch this time, yeah."
"Oh, this? It's my demo
that I told you about. Yeah."
Dave?
Hello? Dave?
Oh, hey, sorry it took so long.
Yeah.
I just wanted to make sure
they got your order right.
It's all back here. I got...
Dave!
What the hell?
Ahhh!
Hey, that delivery guy
ever show up?
Yeah, I don't know.
Gonna take a look.
Looks like he, uh, just dropped
the bags and left.
You know, I think I kind
of freaked him out.
He wanted to drop a demo on me.
I wasn't really in the mood.
Hmm...
What is it?
Think he's still out there?
You can never have enough ranch.
Okay, so what's left?
So...
Drum tracks tomorrow...
and then we just gotta figure
out how to end this thing.
We're not actually making
a 38-minute long song, right?
- No.
- Okay, cool.
It's gonna be fucking
longer than that.
What? What?
It's gonna be epic, man!
It's gonna be like
2112 times 2112.
What?
Hey, buddy,
why don't you let me take
the grill tomorrow night?
It seems like you
got a lot on your mind.
Okay.
Just leave mine raw, dude.
It's so fucking juicy.
Hey, guys, it's Barb!
I'm just checking in to see
how everything is going.
Oh, my God. They are barbarians.
Oh, my goodness,
it's on the ceiling.
Okay, how do they even do that?
Ugh.
Oh, my God.
What did you do?
- Hey, Barb.
- Pat!
I thought you were dead.
Wow! Uh...
How is everything going?
Is, uh, is Dave done with his
big concept album?
- He told you about that?
Oh, yeah.
I guess he's been talking
to Shill.
They seemed pretty excited.
Where is everyone?
Upstairs, sleeping.
Oh!
I used to sleep here, but not
with all this crap on it.
- A lemon bar?
- No, thank you.
I don't eat sugar or gluten.
Or any citrus fruits,
or dairy, or corn.
- It's terrible for your gut.
- Mm.
You know, they actually
look homemade.
Is there a baker in the band?
Mnm-mnm. Lady next door?
Samantha?
That woman is a train wreck.
I've known her for years.
"Sacrifice?"
What did you just say?
I did, uh... Me... Huh?
Um, I don't know. Nothing.
Hey, Barb. What's up?
You made it.
David, how goes it?
Is the album almost done?
Yeah, it's so good.
- Yeah, it's killer.
- Oh.
Yeah, we're actually
wrapping up tonight.
Oh, great. So I should make
arrangements accordingly then.
I'm gonna go freshen up.
Hmm. Interesting guy.
He's the best.
Alright. Wait, wait, wait. Stop,
stop, stop, stop. Hold on.
Something's not right.
It's the ending.
You know, there has to be more.
You know, if we just stopped
recording, it would be over!
Yup, a tight 44 fucking minutes.
And then ending in a nice slow
fade 70's style.
'Cause, dude, I have blisters
on my fucking blisters.
My hands are
killing me, dude.
Yeah, we've been looking
for this mythical
fucking ending all day.
You know what,
I'm fucking out of here.
Frigging dick sandwich!
Fuck you, Shifty!
What the fuck?
Forty-minute fucking song.
"Look at me. I'm Dave Grohl,
the big fucking genius."
"I don't have
any fucking rules."
"I write songs
with no fucking endings."
"Forty minutes long."
Fuckin', can't even cook a piece
of meat to save his life.
Hey, Shifty, need a beer
or anything?
Yeah, to shove up
Dave's fucking ass!
Ahhh!
Fucking blisters, man.
I should start wearing
those stupid
fucking gloves.
Fuck this, man. I'm outta here.
Just hang out. Chris just
had to blow off some steam.
We should get Dave one of
those magnet bracelets.
His energy's way off.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck!
What the fuck is that?
Oh, see? Fucking!
Who the fuck is that? And where
the fuck is his head?
It's the delivery guy.
Look at all this ranch.
Holy, shit!
Holy, shit!
That's the guy that delivered
all the food earlier.
Don't touch that.
No, no, no.
Dave, Dave, don't...
"Bone Structure."
He wanted me to hear this.
How long has this guy been here?
I'm picking up some
energy beacons.
He transitioned
around 28 hours ago.
Where the fuck
did you learn that?
Pasadena.
First, Krug gets
electrocuted, and now this?
Fuck this shit.
I'm calling the cops.
- No, no, no. No cops!
- Fuck this shit.
No fucking cops!
What the fuck!
Maybe Dave's right. We should
call Shill. I mean, look at...
If this gets out,
it's gonna be bad.
Listen, no cops, no Shill.
Okay, we cannot afford
that intrusion right now.
Guy looks like a fucking salami
sandwich up there.
- What the fuck?
I understand.
This is bad. And this is sad.
But if we call the cops
right now, they're gonna
turn this place
into a crime scene...
and you can kiss that awesome
drum sound good-bye forever.
So, we just keep on going?
Yes! One more day.
We finish this thing out, okay,
and then we can call everybody.
We can call the FBI, CSI, NCIS.
We'll call them all.
And then we'll give, uh,
Darren Sandelbaum, from Bone
Structure, a proper burial.
Okay, caskets, flowers,
the whole nine.
We can even tweet a link
to the Bone Structure
on our Insta-thing.
- You know what I mean?
- Hmm-mm.
This is what Darren
would have wanted.
And he might have wanted
to keep his fucking head.
He didn't want
to fuck up our record!
He loved this band.
He died for our band.
Let's do this, you guys. Okay?
Do it for Darren Sandelbaum.
You guys in?
- You in?
- No.
- Are you guys in?
- Well...
Come on, let's get to work.
Oh, by the way,
I'm gonna need everybody's
cell phones and
the keys to the van.
'Cause no one's going anywhere
until we finish this song.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
- I don't have a phone anymore.
- Thank you.
It all comes back
to the I sharp. Got it?
Yeah, we got it. Totally got it.
Let's just track the song
so we can go home.
I'm tired.
My kids think I'm dead.
And where's Shifty?
He should be here.
He was out by the grill.
He's gone.
Okay, let's just do
this one more time.
- Count us in.
- Five, six, seven, eight...
Actually, no. You know what,
this time...
odd numbers only
in this section.
One, three, five, seven. Hit it.
Okay.
One, three, five, seven.
He's still eating. Let's go.
He came out of here.
- I was back here eating chips.
- Big surprise.
Then I found this.
The neighbor lady that left
the lemon bars left this.
It's a code! She's been
trying to warn us!
You just want
to fucking bang her.
Yes, I want to bang her.
But I also want
to not get decapitated.
Let's go ask her. She's always
by the fence. Let's go.
That's you?
I thought we had an infestation
of Yellow Warblers.
That was the wood thrush,
genius.
Not here,
little thrush. Come to the pool.
We don't have much time.
Guys! Hey!
Come here! Now!
How did you get
over there so fast?
Now!
I need you boys
to open your minds
for a moment...
and fucking listen.
This house, this is not just
a creepy rock and roll house.
We are standing
on a nexus that allows
spiritual entities
to cross into our world.
- Oooh-ooh-ooh!
- Can it, drummer boy.
- You ever hear of Dream Widow?
- Of course.
They were supposed to be
the next Jane's Addiction.
Greg Null was a fucking genius.
Yeah, until he went
bat-shit crazy
and killed
his whole fucking band.
Right here in this house.
Yeah, that's just rock
and roll folklore.
Mnm-mnm, I was there.
Greg Null and I were close.
Very close.
I was his number one
groupie and muse.
Now we're taking advice
from groupies?
Hey, watch the labels.
Groupies are people, too.
You gotta understand,
this was the roaring 90's.
No one gave a fuck about shit.
But Greg, he was a visionary,
an artist of the dark.
We were all
into some experimental
life choices back then.
The occult sex,
the energy transfers,
and spectrophilia.
He possessed this living book
made from human flesh.
The book was rumored to hold
the secret incantations
of Aleister Crowley.
As time went on,
something truly sinister
took a hold of Greg.
He was obsessed with this song
from the book...
Lacrimis de Ebrius.
"The tears of God."
Every day he made his band try
to complete this song.
He believed that perfecting it
would open an eternal portal
and the spirit inside him would
become a demonic passage
into our world.
You guys were ghost fuckers?
Somehow,
the good won out in Greg...
and he stopped it
the only way he could.
Greg killed himself to stop
the completion of the song.
But now, the spirit
that possessed him
has found a new instrument.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Faster!
Go! Hurry!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
- Oh, shit!
Fucker.
Fucking dolls.
What the fuck!
Goddamn it!
I didn't spend the last 20 years
teaching Pilates
in Encino so that
thing to have its way!
You moved next door
to this place on purpose?
Someone had to guard the portal.
Yeah, well, he's already
been possessed.
What are we gonna do now?
Okay, bring him down here.
Maybe I can just suck it
out the old fashioned way.
Ohh! Hell, no. Bad idea.
Oh! Sorry. Old habits.
There's got to be a better way.
Uh, we just call the cops.
Oh, my God,
that's such a good idea.
"Hi. Dave Grohl's been possessed
by the spirit of Greg Null."
"Now he's on
a murderous rampage."
Best idea I've heard since
"Hey, let's move
into this house."
Okay. What the fuck
should we do?
Come on.
The book.
It uses blood to stay alive.
He uses, um, raccoons.
Ah, the basement.
He said something about raccoons
when he came up
from the basement.
Okay. Find the book.
Turn to a passage called
Van Houten's Protocol.
That will close the portal
and send this
fucking spirit back to hell.
What about you?
You're going to be in danger now
that you've told us all this.
You wanna stay back
and make sure I'm safe?
She's right. Nate, Pat,
you guys go find the book.
Taylor, go keep Dave occupied.
Drum tracks. You haven't done
any drum tracks yet.
Dude, I ain't going anywhere
near that fucking psycho.
- Fuck that.
- No.
Just go up there
and fuck up the drums
so he can't finish the song.
Shouldn't be too hard for you.
Eat a bag of dicks, Smear.
Be careful, this is far
from a simple possession.
That caretaker is more
than just Greg Null.
There is an evil spirit
inside him.
- Let's go.
- No, I said I'm not doing it!
Fuck you, guys,
I'm not doing it.
I'm not going near
that motherfucking house!
Let's go! Come on!
Fuck you, motherfuckers!
- Yes.
- Oh!
He took the fucking SIM card!
Quick, Pat. Quick.
I'll keep you so fucking
safe right now.
I bet you will.
I wanna take this off.
Take this off.
Can't get it off!
Wait, wait, wait. Put some music
on so Dave doesn't hear us.
Mm. Alright.
Okay, let's go.
Maybe I should wait up here,
to be a lookout?
No fucking way, dude. Come on.
I'm a lumberjack baby
And I'm gonna cut you down
to size
My latest guilty pleasure.
Ooh, that is my shit!
- Aah!
- Mm-hmm.
And when you hear
my motor running
You know I surely be
coppin' a rise
Yeah, so I'm gonna crank it up
and cut it down
This is my favorite part!
This is my favorite part!
Ooh, you're nasty. I like that.
Oh, yeah.
But I ain't jacked
my lumber baby
Since my chain saw you
Jesus! Somebody lived down here.
Greg Null,
or whatever he is now.
Fuck, dude. Look!
"The sacrifice feeds the book."
Poor little guy.
Pat, find me something
to pry this open with.
Ahh! Fuck!
Ahhh!
Come on!
Hey, buddy. How you doing, man?
The ending.
I can hear it.
All we need to do
is lay down the drums.
The drums? Why don't you and
Shifty do some more guitars?
Shifty's done.
Warm up.
You're next.
Nate: What the hell!
With these fucking demons!
Fuck!
There's like real
fucking demon, Nate!
Lacrimis de Ebrius.
Demonic incantations.
Ah, here we go, exorcisms.
No, no, no, that's not it.
That's not it. You're doing
this on purpose, man.
No, man. I'm just trying to get
this fucking ending right.
Okay, it's fucking simple.
It just goes...
I'm pretty sure that's what
I was doing, man.
Pretty sure it's not.
Dude, why don't we just wait
for Nate and Pat to get here?
Nate and Pat?
Fuck them! What do they know
about fucking drums?
You and me, right?
We're drummers.
We speak the same language.
Let's finish the fucking track.
Can't we just wait, dude?
Let's just finish the fucking
track and get out of here!
It's not Dave. You're not Dave.
What did you just say?
I didn't say anything, man.
Just play the fucking drums!
Yeah!
That's it!
Yeah!
That's it!
There you go, man.
I finished the fucking song.
You did.
Thank you.
"The Van Houton Protocol
for Demonic cleansing."
"It's imperative to confirm
the possessing entity's demonic
origin before employing
these techniques."
"Look for these signs. One.
Digestive system shut down."
No more oat milk beer bongs
for Davey.
Nate: "Ability to levitate
objects or defy gravity."
Just play nice with this I sharp
bullshit, right?
Play E flat and get through.
It's an I! I!
Nate: "Incessant masturbation."
Dave, what are you doing
in there?
Sounds like you're playing
patty cake
with a soft chicken dumpling.
- Didn't he do that already?
- Does that disqualify him?
This demonic shit
is complicated.
Nate: "Insatiable hunger
for raw meat."
"Human flesh in particular."
Fuck! I think he ate Chris.
Fuck, he's definitely possessed.
Okay. So, what do we do?
We go save his ass.
That's not good.
What's he doing?
- Oh, my God.
- Shit.
I think we're too late!
That's Taylor. Look!
Read the book about this.
Okay, here we go. To begin
the Van Houlten Protocol...
Quiet!
Shit! Fuck!
Run!
What the fuck!
Jesus! Jesus!
Fuck!
Let's go!
Alright, alright.
"The vessel must be purified
to release
the infected spirit."
"Copious amounts of Holy water."
The pool!
"Under the designations
of these sacred passages,
I anoint this body of water
as a conduit of purity."
That won't work.
You don't know
what you're doing.
Just hurry up and read.
"Heavenly father, Holy spirit,
rebel son Jesus."
"Bestow your divine power
to this water that we may wash
Dave clean
from this foul demon."
Something's happening!
Yes, your death is being
delayed.
The fucking demons!
Give me that fucking book
or I'll rip it out
of your dead hands!
"Hear us, Lord, come cleanse
the soul of this infernal beast"
that hath taken Dave
and turned him
into a satanic vessel
from hell."
Stop reading that fucking book!
Fuck you! We want Dave back.
Dave?
Dave's been gone for decades.
He's a slave to music.
What about our band?
The band?
What about them?
Rami got what he wanted.
Taylor finished the song.
And Chris...
Chris was right.
He does make a killer barbecue.
"Demon of the Twelfth Realm,
defiler of the souls,
sitting in the left hand of
Lucifer... "
You're weak! You're nothing!
I'll crush your pathetic souls!
"I command you to be gone
from this human vessel."
"Take leave of this innocent
body and return
to your kingdom of blasphemy
and filth."
Nate: Oh! demon!
Let Dave fucking go!
Do you see him?
Where did he go?
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
Oh, my God.
You guys!
Oh, God.
Last thing I remember is
that fucking raccoon, man
and then poof!
Dude, we got some bad news.
Oh, my God! The song. We cannot
finish the song. Okay?
Whatever's in that basement,
we can't let it out.
No. It's about the guys.
Oh, I think I swallowed
some pool water.
I fucking love you guys, man.
I fucking love you.
You totally saved my...
Oh, gross!
Is that Shifty?
God, that tastes like shit.
It's alright, buddy.
You're okay now.
Oh, God!
No...
No! No!
Now, I'll kill you like the rest
of your pathetic little band!
You ugly fucker!
Fuck you!
Fuck you! fuck you!
Fuck you!
Skye: You killed us.
Crushed our dreams.
You were weak.
The curse is lifted.
Now you suffer.
Suffer. Suffer. Suffer.
Aah!
The sacrifice feeds the book.
Thank you.
Okay!
Get me the fuck out of here,
man.
The fucking van.
Hey, we're gonna grab the van.
Just wait here.
Okay.
Oh, fuck! We gave shitty Dave
the keys.
Oh! Just get in.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna do it the old
fashioned way.
Hit the gas, when the wire makes
contact.
What?
You need to hit the gas
when I spark it.
What are you doing here?
See if there's any others left.
Oh, my God, Shill, thank God
that you're here.
Okay, this house is a fucking
shit show, man.
You have no idea
what we just went through.
The Devil rules
all of Rock and Roll.
What? No, no, no, listen.
This place is a disaster. Okay.
It's been a fucking nightmare
recording here.
Why did you send us
into this house?
Don't give me
your sob story, Dave.
I know exactly what is going on.
- You do?
- Oh, yeah.
You know Rock 'n' Roll,
it hasn't been relevant
for a long time.
It needs an infusion.
Okay. I don't know what kind of
weird shit you're into...
The Devil will make
Rock 'n' Roll relevant again.
The Devil will make it
dangerous.
You've finished the song,
didn't you, Dave?
Ah... No, not yet.
It's complicated. We're close.
It's just the arrangement
and the composition, it is...
I've been waiting 20 years
to finish that song.
I just needed the right vehicle.
Someone who can handle
all that evil.
I needed you.
First of all, Obi Wan Kenobi,
nice fucking cape.
Second of all,
you're so fucking lame,
who the fuck you think you are?
Sending us to this fucking
shithole to make a record?
You're just a manager, okay,
you don't know the first
fucking thing about music!
You just want
it to make your money.
I made you!
Pat! Pat, there's something in
the back there, come on.
Oh, shit!
Pat, move, move, move, move!
Dude, what the fuck do you think
I am doing? Hold on a minute.
Oh, motherfuc...
Dude, the time is fucking nigh!
Start the car!
Nate, give me a fucking minute,
I almost got it.
Nate: Come on, move.
It's getting closer.
Almost here, Pat, come on.
What the fuck are you
doing down there?
Shit! Pat, now, now, now!
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know...
Hold on.
Hi, guys.
Stop fighting me, Dave.
Stop fighting me.
I'm trying to help you.
The real you!
Donke zonke allar beiga!
Beiga! Zonke!
Here it comes, spark it!
Nate!
No, fuck. Pat!
Fuck!
Pat! Sorry, Pat. I'm sorry.
Barb?
Oh!
Help? I killed my band
because of your help?
Die, you cocksucker! Die!
You finished it.
You finished the song,
didn't you?
You finished it.
You finished it.
You did. Didn't you?
Ha!
Look at the rage in your eyes.
You're not Dave Grohl.
It's time for your solo career.
We're ready for you, brother.
That is a full house out there.
You all good, Dave?
Never better.
Okay.
Love dies young
And there is no
resuscitation
Once it's done
No regeneration
It's a losing game
that'll make you play
Your hand against your chest
Love dies young
Love dies young
And there's no reanimation
Once it's gone
No regeneration
It's a bitter kiss
That'll make you wish
You're never had a taste
Love dies young
Oh, love dies young
Oh oh
Please don't take my breath
Don't take my breath
Away
Love dies young
Love's so dumb
So what's the fascination?
Leaves you numb
With a nasty reputation
When you lose your head
and lights go out
You'll never be the same
Love dies young
Oh oh
Love dies young
Oh oh
Please don't take my breath
Don't take my breath away
Love dies young
Never-ending cemeteries
Funeral parades
All your dreams are buried
in that place
Love dies young
Oh oh
Please don't take my breath
Don't take my breath away
Love dies young
Love dies young
Oh oh
Love dies young
Oh oh
Please don't take my breath
Don't take my breath away
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young
Love dies young