Summer Storm (2004) Movie Script
1
SUMMER STORM
She said, "I don't mind"?
Those very words.
Now chill, I have to keep at 140.
You might get some action,
and you're worried about a pulse?
One thing at a time.
Our Achim is so reasonable!
Just look at him, ladies and gentlemen,
a fine specimen,
an amazing runner and a fantastic lover.
Driven by two elegant propulsion units,
synchronized to perfection.
Except his switchboard...
Can't you for once concentrate
on running instead of goofing off?
I got the point.
Very funny.
Great.
Tobi?
Say something!
You're a jackass.
And it's not funny at all.
Practice is at 2:00,
not at 2:15.
It's not funny at all.
And no excuses, because...
I don't care!
If you keep coming late,
we might as well stay home!
I forgot...
- I don't want to hear it!
I want to see some discipline!
You won't
make a fool of me at summer camp!
Thanks.
This is not the time for flirting.
We're in it
for the trophy, is that clear?
Yes.
And it's cleaning duty for you two.
The whole boathouse, is that clear?
Pull and chop!
Come on, keep it steady.
Great, Tobi! Very nice!
You in the back, don't let up,
keep up with Tobi.
Great, girls, keep it up!
Come on!
Rambo, you too!
You have to work together.
Follow Tobis lead!
Great, Tobi, set the pace!
Come on, Ferdl, no fooling around!
Go down and stop the boat!
Alright, men, concentrate!
See how she's staring at us?
She must be sopping wet.
Enough of your caveman jokes.
We're going to have
quite a week at rowing camp.
I mean the Berlin women's team.
They're city women, ready and willing.
Just like you, right?
On your marks...
Go!
Hey, you jerk!
Lend me a hand!
Is it my fault that we were late?
You clean.
You're asking for it!
Hey, you have a hard-on.
Bullshit, I do not.
Of course you do.
My hard-on looks different than that.
- You pervert.
Fine, so I do have a hard-on.
No, it's cool.
Let's jerk off. I feel the need.
A warm female body...
a tight, hot... snatch.
I'm trying to concentrate!
Final sprint.
80 years...
of RSC.
That is simply...
lovely.
80 years of "pull and chop",
people, I wish you luck non-stop!
Our trainer,
Hansi Daschler,
athlete, human being,
and Bayern fan...
1860!
...he'll get that trophy
from the Prussians, you'll see.
But enough fun and games.
My son Schorschi promised something.
Right, Schorschi?
We need the trophy,
so I decided,
on this anniversary,
to donate a few duffel bags.
"Gruber Farm Equipment
always at the helm"
So: congratulations
to the Starnberg Rowing Club.
It's La Cucaracha!
Hey... Anke!
Wow.
Amazing, you look...
Funny, it must be the light.
No, of course it's not...
I mean, even without the light,
you look fantastic. Yeah.
And otherwise...
Everything cool?
Yes.
Cool.
Well then,
it was nice talking to you.
One, two,
three!
Whose idea was this?
In stereo bowling, it's essential
to be totally synchronized.
Just like rowing:
Pull and chop!
I love how your ears wiggle
when you laugh.
I can even do it to La Cucaracha.
Yeah, sure.
- Watch this...
Pretty rough, huh?
Yeah, it's from last December.
One more time: Pull and chop, okay?
And pull and...
chop!
I can't wait for camp,
it's going to be so cool!
And you know what?
Next summer, we'll take a real trip.
Just the two of us.
Where to?
- Interrail.
Right across Europe,
Mexico, or wherever the best grass is.
With Interrail to Mexico?
Sure, whatever.
- It's a deal.
Will we still
hang out when we're 40?
Sure, why not?
I thought you and Sandra...
- What about you and Anke?
Yeah, if you and Sandra,
and me and Anke...
if we're all paired off,
then our friendship's over, isn't it?
Why's that?
This is different.
You think so too?
I wanted to tell you something...
Come here.
The two of us belong together!
No chicks are gonna get between us!
You should save that for Anke.
Sorry. I'm totally stoned. Sorry.
You had something to tell me.
What?
You and Anke aren't...
Yeah, well...
Have the two of you already...?
And you just tell me like that,
by the way?
You little pervert!
Don't worry, it won't come between us.
Come on, tell me! Was it good?
Yeah, it was good.
Let's not make a big deal about it,
in reality...
We need to celebrate.
Let's put on some music.
before Schorsch plays more radio tunes.
Let's have a picture.
Not now, Gnther.
- Get in closer.
This has to be documented.
- What a loser!
Morning, everybody.
Have you got everything?
Where's Schorschi?
Didn't you overpack, Ferdl?
It's all essential.
Okay, we'll find space.
We'll have to leave him behind.
Bye, Mom!
- See you, Schorschi.
Hello!
Martin! You forgot your lunch bag!
Hey...
About you and Tobi... pretty cool.
I mean, that you...
I mean...
I think you're a good match.
Anyway...
Is everybody here?
Then let's do it.
Heading north!
I hope you didn't
take it personally, Tobi.
Making you clean the boathouse
was a strategic move.
Because if you start to slack off.
they all will.
They listen to you. They all do.
The trophy is ours.
For sure.
What are we?
We're damned good!
Of course we're good!
How do you know
the Berlin women are so hot?
They were at Lake Chiem two years ago.
- I see.
It was a co-ed competition.
- Got it.
They're hot to trot, I'll tell you.
More than our girls, for sure.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Bird sanctuary.
Another bird sanctuary,
and another sanctuary.
So that the
amateur rowing championships
can continue to be held here,
we ask that you follow the rules.
The campsites are spread out,
so that each team
can'train without distractions.
You know what I mean.
The Saxons?
- Present.
You're in the west sector.
- East. Oh, sorry...
Cologne and Duisburg?
South.
And the Berliners?
- The Queerstrokes.
I have to check again, but I think
you're on the far side of the dam.
- Fine.
Any questions?
- Yes.
Can't this go any faster?
In the middle.
Martin has an 'Ernie and Bert'
sleeping bag!
We don't have the money
for a new one, asshole!
Great, now everyone knows
we're Bavarian.
Oh Lordy! I'll knock you down
so you'll never get up!
What a bunch of dumpling-heads!
- Total losers!
There's a team from Saxony over there,
all Catholic chicks!
"Girls" would get you further.
- They're stacked.
I'd like to know
where the Berlin girls are.
Choke the chicken, eh?
- What?
How primitive!
You should get a grip.
He's catching on quickly.
That should hold.
Sandra's right,
your spot is much nicer.
There's a better view of the water.
Sorry, Martin and Flasche
wanted to set up here.
I see.
That's okay. The spot back there is...
pretty nice as well.
I think I'll go for a swim.
You can forget it,
Hansi wants to practice.
Keep it technical, now.
No monkey business.
What are you doing?
That's disgusting.
Sternum. Two fingers wide. Hand flat.
Hansi?
What about...
mouth-to-mouth, without the nose?
Sure, that works too.
Okay, switch positions.
Can you continue with Thea?
Love to.
- Anke, is that necessary?
Is this right?
Where's the doctor here?
We need a doctor!
Is this a drill?
- Isn't this the medical station?
No, we're just doing first-aid.
That's our Ferdl.
- What's wrong with him?
No idea.
He was up against a tree, in tears.
When we tried to move him,
he panicked and passed out.
Sounds bad. Let's have a look.
Who'll help?
Three people. - Come on!
You?
- Yes, Achim. - Leo?
You, the arms. We got his legs.
Calm down, we're just looking.
- Please don't!
What is it?
His foreskin's stuck!
Stuck in his zipper!
Hold on.
I feel it myself!
- You're such a clich!
What about yourself?
- Don't look at it.
He needs a doctor.
We need your bus.
- Our bus isn't coming till later.
Fine, we'll take ours.
- Yes...
You take care of him,
get him something cold.
Can't we do anything for him?
- I wouldn't do that.
The doctor
will give him an anesthetic before...
Listen, we're looking for the guy
who was hiding by the showers.
That's him, isn't it?
- Sure, that's the pervert!
You better come with us, and we'll...
- I don't think that'll work...
Why not?
He's got something stuck.
- He was probably zipping up
as he fled the shower dykes.
What club are you from anyway?
We're the Queerstrokes.
You better watch your step, buddy!
This will have repercussions, clear?
Wait, you're both named Nils,
you with an "i", and you with an "ie"?
Exactly.
My name's Tobi,
that's Achim.
And what's your name? - Malte.
- Schorschi. - Hi.
Poor Ferdl!
But it had to happen to him.
He's off to quite a start.
You all are. A sex offender
on the team will get you disqualified.
No way, Ferdl's our equipment manager.
Either way. you'll lose.
We're the best!
Where's the Berlin female team?
- They cancelled.
Why's that?
- Some virus.
So we got moved up.
I thought you were the best?
How about you set up camp,
then come over for a barbecue?
We'll barbecue Ferdl's foreskin.
You're so gross!
Want to feel?
- Sure.
What's written on your shirt?
What?
- I've never heard of
a "queerstroke" before.
We use the English spelling, "queer".
I see.
It can mean strange or peculiar.
Still, "Strange stroke"
is an odd name for a team.
No, queer also means gay.
What, a whole team of fairies?
Where's your tent, cutie?
Alright boys, we're over there.
It's about time we set up camp.
Come on.
Alright, then, let's set up.
So Schorsi...
is that foreskin barbecue still on?
What's wrong?
Someone else get something stuck?
I'm glad their camp is over there.
It's good to keep them separate.
You really have a problem, Georg.
- Well, they're not after you.
And they think you're so hot?
- Apparently.
It's understandable.
Schors has delusions of grandeur.
- What?
Did you get that?
That guy called you Schorsi.
Pretty funny.
But you don't like it either, huh?
It was a bit of a surprise.
They could've Let'someone know.
By wearing a pink triangle?
Are you in the gay rowers' committee.
or what?
I don't care.
But Schorschi promised us
big-breasted Berlin women.
Don't forget the Saxons.
- Some camp we have!
Tough dykes and a bunch of queers.
Those most afraid of gays
are gay themselves.
What are you talking about?
Am I gay just because
this shit gets on my nerves?
Alright, people!
Time to think about going to bed.
We have to be ready for tomorrow.
Want to come for a walk with me?
The same goes for
our two pairs of lovebirds.
Too bad.
Sleep tight, okay?
Hey,
do you think Tobi likes me?
What does it look like?
I just think
everyone shows it differently,
on the outside.
He doesn't seem interested.
At least you've done it.
I'm just so unsure...
I'm afraid
he thinks I'm too flat-chested.
Just look at the others.
What?
I want to sleep with him.
I don't mind that...
No, what you just said.
What have I done?
Why? Wasn't it good, sleeping together?
Who slept with whom?
You and Tobi.
Who said that?
No idea.
I must've gotten something wrong.
Who said that?
Wait, before I say something wrong
I'll follow up on it.
I'll do some research.
Being in a tent with you is cool.
Imagine if you were here with Anke.
That would seem way too planned.
It would ruin all the excitement.
You'd both know it would happen.
Like a married couple on Sunday morning.
How boring!
But you know it'd happen
with Sandra too.
She's not ready yet.
She's insecure about her breasts.
Let's not talk about breast size.
I like her the way she is.
Did you shut the tent right?
I mean, the queerstrokers could come
and, who knows...
D'you think we can be friends with them?
- Why not?
As long as they don't hit on me.
What it
one of them fell in love with you?
I'd have a problem with that.
I mean, I couldn't reciprocate.
They'd probably say,
"You just don't know it yet".
I wouldn't have thought they were gay.
They don't look it.
Over and out.
Good night. Sweet dreams.
And be a little nicer to Anke tomorrow.
Hey, Schorsi!
Keep it up, Tobi!
Come on, don't let them get away!
Rhythm! In unison now.
Rhythm!
Dear Lord! This is unbelievable!
I'll have you all
running around the lake!
Oh God!
I'm sorry!
I'm such a dolt!
- Forget it.
No wonder,
if they row like you ride a bike.
Do you have a tissue?
No... no, I don't.
Give it here.
Your boys aren't bad.
- Making waves, making waves!
Queer, queer, queer!
50.6! I knew it.
That's a boat-length slower.
How embarrassing.
Flasche, be more careful.
How? Should I starve?
- 48 was the deal.
If I don't weigh 50, we're disqualified.
I've got a plan!
We'll put him on a diet.
And before the race,
he'll just drink two liters.
And then?
- Then the judge'll weigh him...
50 kilos. Minimum weight.
That doesn't help us.
- After urinating, he's two kilos less.
I don't believe it!
What was that?
After all that training!
That better be an exception.
If we don't get that trophy...
I just can't...
I can't...
I didn't want to tell you...
so as not to put
too much pressure on you.
Schorschi, you tell them.
If we win, his dad will give us...
two new boats.
And what do we get if we lose?
Nothing but a bunch of trouble.
Especially if we lose to the queers.
I don't care if they're gay.
Let's just win!
Find a partner.
Sit-ups.
When did Anke and Tobi have sex?
Why?
- Just wondering.
Shall we?
Cool.
Shall we?
Why did you say that?
Word sure gets around.
So how was the sex with me, huh?
Sorry, I know that was stupid.
At least we agree.
How could you say something like that?
Was it necessary?
Say something!
- Okay.
It so happens
that I'd like to sleep with you.
I just don't know how.
Believe it or not,
the guy who's normally so confident,
well, he's...
a bit shy in that department.
You mean it would help
if the girl were...
a bit more forward?
Sure.
That's what he secretly hopes for.
People, please concentrate
on what's important!
We are.
The cause of Jesus needs believers,
Among us his spirit searches.
He sets us free,
so that we...
Gnther!
What, don't you know the song?
...those whose hearts are full
of hate and dissention,
who will liberate them for peace?
Good day.
I have something for you,
because I'm so sorry.
20 minute break.
Shall we go for a swim?
That was so silly of me, earlier.
Nice bouquet.
Hansi's right,
we gotta make an effort to win.
Do you have a vase?
- Maybe in our kitchen tent. - Hansi,
what's up?
- Hey, Schorschi,
can you ask the boys for a vase?
Schorsi's coming.
Everyone get ready.
Oh, you surprised me!
Are they for me?
My name's Oli.
I need a vase.
Check in the kitchen tent.
Bye!
Is that the kitchen tent?
Schorschi, it's you.
Looking for something?
The kitchen tent.
These fold-outs look a bit funny, huh?
Ow! Be more careful, that hurt!
What? Where?
There.
I have the cucumber.
Still looking for a vase?
I'll have a look, don't worry.
Do we have a container?
You guys are sick!
Bye, Schorsi.
He really has a problem!
Why are you running?
I'm sick of you fags, okay?
Hey, wait.
What's that supposed to mean?
Who says I'm one of those cocksuckers?
I don't know and I don't care.
Nobody calls me a fag
and gets away with it.
You think I look gay?
You think I'm a pansy?
No. - Do I seem gay to you?
- Not really.
Alright then.
Then let's talk normally,
man to man.
I saw you on the boat.
Yeah?
You're a really good rower.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You have a definite air of authority,
if you know what I mean.
Yeah, sure.
If you want,
I'll give you Mirkovitsch's number.
Mirkovitsch?
The national coach.
Oh yeah, him.
I can talk to him.
- Really?
That'd be great.
Hey, about what I said...
Don't worry about it.
Alright then...
One last question.
- Go ahead.
What's a guy like you
doing with
a bunch of fudge packers like that?
I'm writing a paper
on sexual disorientation.
Oh.
- And they don't know,
so don't say anything.
Don't worry, I promise. See you.
Food's ready.
Let's have it.
I'm starved.
Whoever made that tent
must have studied design in North Korea.
You're a walking clich.
Be sure to let those wrists hang.
- Come on. everyone's an individual.
I'm sorry. But sometimes
you really act like a girl.
How about your feminine side?
I just have it under control.
I'm gay because I like boys, not girls.
Hold on, this is getting too personal.
I think I've lost my appetite.
His straight days are over!
I'm giving him one day, maybe two.
His crotch was bulging.
Next week is harvest time!
Forget it, he's a hardcore straight.
- So what?
I've cracked even the hardest of nuts.
That Bavarian piggy's no exception.
Straight boys make great toys.
You're so compulsive.
Is it all about sex?
I've got nothing to be ashamed of.
He's not gay, so why hit on him?
What's your problem, anyway?
I'm sick of all this talk about sex.
Don't you think about anything else?
- Yeah, my good shape.
People think all gays are like Malte.
Clich ol! - I mean,
why is our boat called "petite toile",
when it could be called
"Champion" or "Eiffel Tower"?
How phallic!
- You know what I mean.
And our club name, Queerstroke,
is just begging for stereotyping.
Why can't we just be called
Berlin Rowing Club XYZ?
There you are!
I was looking for Schorsch.
I can't do it!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Hansi!
Keep it down.
Hey, why can't we live up there?
Because being out in nature
is good for you.
It's an experience
that stressed-out managers
pay lots of money for.
Besides, the youth hostel is closed,
as you can see.
Let's go.
Back to the roots in boots.
What are we?
We're damned good!
Cheers!
Good morning!
Morning!
- Wanna come in?
We'd love to.
- I bet! We're almost done.
Have you had that long?
My good luck charm.
A present. If you want,
we'll bring you one from South America.
Who?
Sandra asked me to join her
on a trip to South America.
Her cousin can't make it,
and the tickets are already paid for.
And our Interrail trip?
We can do it next summer.
Good morning.
How are you?
- Sleep well?
Shall we go swimming later?
- Okay.
Let me give you a hand.
- Not necessary.
I don't mind.
Our team is really getting along.
I want to win that trophy so badly.
I get the feeling you're mad at me.
What do you mean?
You and Achim are like Siamese twins,
and I'm like a bad witch
trying to come between you.
Hey,
nobody can take away
what Achim and I have been through.
Do I detect
some kind of undertone?
What kind of undertone?
If you have a problem,
then go ahead and tell me.
Can you keep a secret?
I can.
Well, it is about you and Achim.
All he talks about is you.
You shouldn't hold off with the sex.
That won't make your breasts any bigger.
Sandra thinks
she's driving a wedge between us.
And your sex with Anke?
Why make up something like that?
You lied straight to my face.
I was just joking,
or boasting, whatever.
We've known each other for ages,
you know I'm a show-off.
And I was stoned too!
Shall we?
No thanks.
Tobi, this is way too much for me!
Jerking off in the boathouse is okay,
but a little kiss is a disaster!
I can't figure you out!
What a macho oaf!
- It's cold!
Hi, everybody!
- Hey.
Pretty fit!
I'm impressed.
Are you leaving?
We still have practice,
and I'm late already.
Your friend was in a hurry too.
Did you have a fight?
Let me get one thing straight:
He's a friend, not a boyfriend!
That's not how it was meant.
You straight guys are so paranoid!
And Schorsch...
what's his deal?
- Schorsch?
His dad's our sponsor.
Gruber Farm Equipment.
Might not tell you much,
but back home...
He owns half of Bavaria.
See you later.
- Bye.
Why don't you stay?
I'd really like that.
Come on, hillbilly,
how about a race?
One, two, three!
There's a wasp!
- Where is it?
What a show-off.
You always ride in the C boat?
Show-off? I'm the best, that's all!
I almost fell in again.
Where are the others?
What time is it?
Why did I have to lie in the sun?
Need some cream?
Will it help?
Better than nothing.
Should I?
Come on, lie down.
I slept through practice.
Hansi must be pissed.
I'm late already.
Don't be afraid.
I'll be gentle.
Ow! Damn it!
Sunburn.
What's wrong?
I'm sorry. I can't do it.
If you don't love me, or if
I'm doing something wrong, then tell me.
What's wrong?
I'm in love.
With whom? Do I know her?
You do.
It's not Sandra?
I don't believe it!
It's not a girl.
Achim?
Everyone out.
Go right to the kitchen tent.
What did I do?
What's wrong?
- Think about it.
I don't know. Tell me!
You missing practice was weak, Tobi.
Donsn't the sport count anymore?
Are you preoccupied, or what?
Hansi, I'll get back into it.
I'll be ready to get that trophy...
Trophy! It's about pulling together,
staying together, all of us, as a team!
It's about the sport,
and your attitude.
That's what it's about.
Everything okay?
Of course. Why shouldn't it be?
We're gonna have a blast!
Right on!
Think about what you told Tobi!
What did I tell him?
Wait a second!
Cold beer?
Anybody need one?
Everyone's taken care of.
Here's the rice.
I hope the weather holds.
- I hope it's not too hot for the race.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Still going, even at that age!
Somehow reassuring, isn't it?
I see everyone's in a great mood.
Could I talk to you alone?
Sure.
Should I show you my specialty?
Cooking for real explorers:
The Columbus egg.
Try to get it to stand up.
Not now.
- Go ahead. - No!
Do you know how?
What?
- Look at the mess! - But it was funny.
Are there any napkins?
- Check outside.
I'll put it in here.
Are you going snorkeling, or what?
What was that?
Come with me.
Now listen:
I'm happy I'm not the reason
things are the way they are.
If you love a boy,
I just have to accept it.
I can't compete with that.
But if you keep playing the class clown.
then I feel sorry for you.
Do you want to keep living a lie?
Pretty absurd, isn't it?
Georg's really falling for it.
Ypu don't need to hide behind Tobi.
You could just as easily be coxswain.
Maybe.
I'll bet your dad's a real bigwig.
Must be hard to be in his shadow.
- You got that right.
He'll never win him over.
- You'd be surprised who he's won over.
He's convinced that some straight guys
are just begging to be conquered.
Bisexual's better than nothing.
Hey, I set up a trial with Mirkovitsch.
- Really? - Yeah.
Thanks!
- No problem.
There's something else
I wanted to ask you.
Want to take a walk?
During the race, could you...
I just want to make sure
that the homos don't win.
Don't worry, I'll keep it to myself.
Sure, I'll let them lose.
- Right on!
No problem...
But what do I get out of it?
- I'll owe you a favor.
Or do you mean money?
No, not money.
- Then what?
What about this?
What's going on?
Heartaches.
Et voil!
That looks good.
Is there any ketchup?
- We don't have ketchup.
Then pass one of those queer sauces.
I mean, that sauce there.
Alright, I'll pass you the queer sauce,
and you pass me the queer corn.
This is for everybody.
I need a beer. You too?
Heard the one about
three gays and a blonde in the woods?
Two hold her, the third does her hair.
I'm gonna find Achim and Sandra.
- No need! They want to be alone.
What?
They're in the tent, and... you know.
Schorschi's not at our campsite either.
I'm not waiting any longer.
He's been gone for over two hours,
and a storm's brewing.
And if he's in the forest,
and a tree falls on him,
I don't want the blame.
Let's not get dramatic.
We've got to do something.
We'll join you.
What about the food?
- Cold buffet.
Where's Achim? Sandra?
Achim!
I get scared in the forest!
- Don't worry, I'll protect you.
With what?
- With these, of course!
That's reassuring.
- Come on.
Schorschi!
- Georg!
Man, he's got some nerve.
I don't get it. Why would he run away?
- It beats me.
We were just talking, and...
Well, I just gave him a little kiss.
Not everyone likes
to get a tongue in their mouth.
I can relate.
Sounds like
you're talking from experience.
Stop.
- Were your raped by a woman?
Come on, who penetrated you
with their tongue?
Was it a guy?
End of discussion.
Just when it was getting good.
Someone's over there.
Knock it off!
I'm sorry.
Gay or not gay?
I won't let a homo find me,
just to be clear.
Don't be stupid! Come on down.
This is a waste of time.
How long
are we supposed to stand around?
There he is!
Man, Schorschi!
- Where were you?
What are you doing?
Are you crazy? You can't just run off!
Now where's Achim?
Are those two gone as well?
- Where are they?
They went into the forest.
- Then the party can go on.
Come on, then.
- And what should we do?
They want to be alone.
- Nonsense!
Come on, they're probably
back at the campsite by now.
Have you all lost it?
Achim could be out there,
under a tree, or with a sprained ankle!
And all you can think about
is your damned food.
Bullshit, they're screwing.
Admit it, you're just jealous.
Of her, not him.
What are you talking about?
- Your buddy likes guys. - Oh yeah?
Take it easy.
- That's ridiculous.
Tell him it's ridiculous, Anke.
Let's knock this off and calm down.
Tobi, let's get some fresh air.
I'm not gay!
Oh shit!
You've completely lost it!
You're shitting your pants,
just like your team!
What is this?
Have you all gone mad?
What ever happened to fair play?
Dammit, call off your homophobic thugs!
- Homophobic?
What has that got to do...
- Oh, shit!
Why is everything about being gay?
Well done, Tobi!
I've had enough of you all.
Where were you?
That's it!
We're breaking camp!
Leave your things,
we're going to the youth hostel.
Yeah! - Yes!
- Great!
Ferdl! Come on, come on!
Thank God!
Everyone find a room.
There must be some vacancies.
Come on.
What's this about?
- Nothing, I'm sleeping here.
Oh, are you?
What's your deal? I don't even
know who you are anymore!
I won't let you
come between Sandra and me!
You said nothing can get between us.
- So now it's my fault?
Don't you realize
it's not all about you?
I thought we were a team.
No.
Not anymore.
And we're not best friends.
You'd better find another bed.
She should find another bed!
- Now leave!
Get out of here, will you?
What are you doing here?
This is dry.
Thanks.
How was it with you?
It wasn't easy.
But then it got easier?
If you hide your whole life,
you'll forget who you even are.
It itches.
Come here.
Are you hungry?
Of course!
- Sure.
Come on everybody, dig in!
Everyone gets a yogurt.
Are there any spoons?
- I forgot the spoons!
No, just kidding.
What do you think?
Good morning.
Morning, girls.
- What's up?
Good morning.
Hello there!
Is everybody fit?
- Yes.
We have to see
how the competition will be held,
now that one boat's damaged.
You won't mind
if the boys get the boat?
I'm sorry, girls.
We didn't mean that much to you anyway.
No, that's not true.
Stop it.
What's wrong?
Can't I kiss girls anymore,
just because I'm gay?
Hardcore.
Anyone else want a banana?
Why's everyone grinning?
Come on, we want to win!
Bravo, Tobi!
What are we?
We're damned good!
Making waves, making waves!
- Queer! Queer! Queer!
Just barely.
50.1.
Then we can start.
Let's go, boys.
I'm sorry, we have to cancel.
What?
- What?
You can't row with three rowers.
I really tried,
but my shoulder hurts too much.
Now what? - You should've
asked that before the fight.
I thought the fight was great!
I feel so manly now.
You be quiet.
and stop being such a fool.
I think I have an idea.
I want to see some action,
you hunk!
Some idea that was!
We'll see.
On your marks...
Shit! - What?
- Get set...
I forgot to pee!
This year's A-class juniors' trophy
goes to the Queerstroke Rowing Club,
with coxswain Malte Peters!
I wanted to know if it's cool with you.
Because you once said
that it would be a big problem.
I think it'll take some time.
It's pretty hard tor me.
I'm not sure yet.
- So Hansi, what about the new boats?
Please Gnther, not now.
At least we got silver.
I have something to say...
That thing in the bushes...
I was choking the chicken.
You must be crazy!
You're such a fucking jackass!
Schorsi...
Bye, take care.
SUMMER STORM
She said, "I don't mind"?
Those very words.
Now chill, I have to keep at 140.
You might get some action,
and you're worried about a pulse?
One thing at a time.
Our Achim is so reasonable!
Just look at him, ladies and gentlemen,
a fine specimen,
an amazing runner and a fantastic lover.
Driven by two elegant propulsion units,
synchronized to perfection.
Except his switchboard...
Can't you for once concentrate
on running instead of goofing off?
I got the point.
Very funny.
Great.
Tobi?
Say something!
You're a jackass.
And it's not funny at all.
Practice is at 2:00,
not at 2:15.
It's not funny at all.
And no excuses, because...
I don't care!
If you keep coming late,
we might as well stay home!
I forgot...
- I don't want to hear it!
I want to see some discipline!
You won't
make a fool of me at summer camp!
Thanks.
This is not the time for flirting.
We're in it
for the trophy, is that clear?
Yes.
And it's cleaning duty for you two.
The whole boathouse, is that clear?
Pull and chop!
Come on, keep it steady.
Great, Tobi! Very nice!
You in the back, don't let up,
keep up with Tobi.
Great, girls, keep it up!
Come on!
Rambo, you too!
You have to work together.
Follow Tobis lead!
Great, Tobi, set the pace!
Come on, Ferdl, no fooling around!
Go down and stop the boat!
Alright, men, concentrate!
See how she's staring at us?
She must be sopping wet.
Enough of your caveman jokes.
We're going to have
quite a week at rowing camp.
I mean the Berlin women's team.
They're city women, ready and willing.
Just like you, right?
On your marks...
Go!
Hey, you jerk!
Lend me a hand!
Is it my fault that we were late?
You clean.
You're asking for it!
Hey, you have a hard-on.
Bullshit, I do not.
Of course you do.
My hard-on looks different than that.
- You pervert.
Fine, so I do have a hard-on.
No, it's cool.
Let's jerk off. I feel the need.
A warm female body...
a tight, hot... snatch.
I'm trying to concentrate!
Final sprint.
80 years...
of RSC.
That is simply...
lovely.
80 years of "pull and chop",
people, I wish you luck non-stop!
Our trainer,
Hansi Daschler,
athlete, human being,
and Bayern fan...
1860!
...he'll get that trophy
from the Prussians, you'll see.
But enough fun and games.
My son Schorschi promised something.
Right, Schorschi?
We need the trophy,
so I decided,
on this anniversary,
to donate a few duffel bags.
"Gruber Farm Equipment
always at the helm"
So: congratulations
to the Starnberg Rowing Club.
It's La Cucaracha!
Hey... Anke!
Wow.
Amazing, you look...
Funny, it must be the light.
No, of course it's not...
I mean, even without the light,
you look fantastic. Yeah.
And otherwise...
Everything cool?
Yes.
Cool.
Well then,
it was nice talking to you.
One, two,
three!
Whose idea was this?
In stereo bowling, it's essential
to be totally synchronized.
Just like rowing:
Pull and chop!
I love how your ears wiggle
when you laugh.
I can even do it to La Cucaracha.
Yeah, sure.
- Watch this...
Pretty rough, huh?
Yeah, it's from last December.
One more time: Pull and chop, okay?
And pull and...
chop!
I can't wait for camp,
it's going to be so cool!
And you know what?
Next summer, we'll take a real trip.
Just the two of us.
Where to?
- Interrail.
Right across Europe,
Mexico, or wherever the best grass is.
With Interrail to Mexico?
Sure, whatever.
- It's a deal.
Will we still
hang out when we're 40?
Sure, why not?
I thought you and Sandra...
- What about you and Anke?
Yeah, if you and Sandra,
and me and Anke...
if we're all paired off,
then our friendship's over, isn't it?
Why's that?
This is different.
You think so too?
I wanted to tell you something...
Come here.
The two of us belong together!
No chicks are gonna get between us!
You should save that for Anke.
Sorry. I'm totally stoned. Sorry.
You had something to tell me.
What?
You and Anke aren't...
Yeah, well...
Have the two of you already...?
And you just tell me like that,
by the way?
You little pervert!
Don't worry, it won't come between us.
Come on, tell me! Was it good?
Yeah, it was good.
Let's not make a big deal about it,
in reality...
We need to celebrate.
Let's put on some music.
before Schorsch plays more radio tunes.
Let's have a picture.
Not now, Gnther.
- Get in closer.
This has to be documented.
- What a loser!
Morning, everybody.
Have you got everything?
Where's Schorschi?
Didn't you overpack, Ferdl?
It's all essential.
Okay, we'll find space.
We'll have to leave him behind.
Bye, Mom!
- See you, Schorschi.
Hello!
Martin! You forgot your lunch bag!
Hey...
About you and Tobi... pretty cool.
I mean, that you...
I mean...
I think you're a good match.
Anyway...
Is everybody here?
Then let's do it.
Heading north!
I hope you didn't
take it personally, Tobi.
Making you clean the boathouse
was a strategic move.
Because if you start to slack off.
they all will.
They listen to you. They all do.
The trophy is ours.
For sure.
What are we?
We're damned good!
Of course we're good!
How do you know
the Berlin women are so hot?
They were at Lake Chiem two years ago.
- I see.
It was a co-ed competition.
- Got it.
They're hot to trot, I'll tell you.
More than our girls, for sure.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Bird sanctuary.
Another bird sanctuary,
and another sanctuary.
So that the
amateur rowing championships
can continue to be held here,
we ask that you follow the rules.
The campsites are spread out,
so that each team
can'train without distractions.
You know what I mean.
The Saxons?
- Present.
You're in the west sector.
- East. Oh, sorry...
Cologne and Duisburg?
South.
And the Berliners?
- The Queerstrokes.
I have to check again, but I think
you're on the far side of the dam.
- Fine.
Any questions?
- Yes.
Can't this go any faster?
In the middle.
Martin has an 'Ernie and Bert'
sleeping bag!
We don't have the money
for a new one, asshole!
Great, now everyone knows
we're Bavarian.
Oh Lordy! I'll knock you down
so you'll never get up!
What a bunch of dumpling-heads!
- Total losers!
There's a team from Saxony over there,
all Catholic chicks!
"Girls" would get you further.
- They're stacked.
I'd like to know
where the Berlin girls are.
Choke the chicken, eh?
- What?
How primitive!
You should get a grip.
He's catching on quickly.
That should hold.
Sandra's right,
your spot is much nicer.
There's a better view of the water.
Sorry, Martin and Flasche
wanted to set up here.
I see.
That's okay. The spot back there is...
pretty nice as well.
I think I'll go for a swim.
You can forget it,
Hansi wants to practice.
Keep it technical, now.
No monkey business.
What are you doing?
That's disgusting.
Sternum. Two fingers wide. Hand flat.
Hansi?
What about...
mouth-to-mouth, without the nose?
Sure, that works too.
Okay, switch positions.
Can you continue with Thea?
Love to.
- Anke, is that necessary?
Is this right?
Where's the doctor here?
We need a doctor!
Is this a drill?
- Isn't this the medical station?
No, we're just doing first-aid.
That's our Ferdl.
- What's wrong with him?
No idea.
He was up against a tree, in tears.
When we tried to move him,
he panicked and passed out.
Sounds bad. Let's have a look.
Who'll help?
Three people. - Come on!
You?
- Yes, Achim. - Leo?
You, the arms. We got his legs.
Calm down, we're just looking.
- Please don't!
What is it?
His foreskin's stuck!
Stuck in his zipper!
Hold on.
I feel it myself!
- You're such a clich!
What about yourself?
- Don't look at it.
He needs a doctor.
We need your bus.
- Our bus isn't coming till later.
Fine, we'll take ours.
- Yes...
You take care of him,
get him something cold.
Can't we do anything for him?
- I wouldn't do that.
The doctor
will give him an anesthetic before...
Listen, we're looking for the guy
who was hiding by the showers.
That's him, isn't it?
- Sure, that's the pervert!
You better come with us, and we'll...
- I don't think that'll work...
Why not?
He's got something stuck.
- He was probably zipping up
as he fled the shower dykes.
What club are you from anyway?
We're the Queerstrokes.
You better watch your step, buddy!
This will have repercussions, clear?
Wait, you're both named Nils,
you with an "i", and you with an "ie"?
Exactly.
My name's Tobi,
that's Achim.
And what's your name? - Malte.
- Schorschi. - Hi.
Poor Ferdl!
But it had to happen to him.
He's off to quite a start.
You all are. A sex offender
on the team will get you disqualified.
No way, Ferdl's our equipment manager.
Either way. you'll lose.
We're the best!
Where's the Berlin female team?
- They cancelled.
Why's that?
- Some virus.
So we got moved up.
I thought you were the best?
How about you set up camp,
then come over for a barbecue?
We'll barbecue Ferdl's foreskin.
You're so gross!
Want to feel?
- Sure.
What's written on your shirt?
What?
- I've never heard of
a "queerstroke" before.
We use the English spelling, "queer".
I see.
It can mean strange or peculiar.
Still, "Strange stroke"
is an odd name for a team.
No, queer also means gay.
What, a whole team of fairies?
Where's your tent, cutie?
Alright boys, we're over there.
It's about time we set up camp.
Come on.
Alright, then, let's set up.
So Schorsi...
is that foreskin barbecue still on?
What's wrong?
Someone else get something stuck?
I'm glad their camp is over there.
It's good to keep them separate.
You really have a problem, Georg.
- Well, they're not after you.
And they think you're so hot?
- Apparently.
It's understandable.
Schors has delusions of grandeur.
- What?
Did you get that?
That guy called you Schorsi.
Pretty funny.
But you don't like it either, huh?
It was a bit of a surprise.
They could've Let'someone know.
By wearing a pink triangle?
Are you in the gay rowers' committee.
or what?
I don't care.
But Schorschi promised us
big-breasted Berlin women.
Don't forget the Saxons.
- Some camp we have!
Tough dykes and a bunch of queers.
Those most afraid of gays
are gay themselves.
What are you talking about?
Am I gay just because
this shit gets on my nerves?
Alright, people!
Time to think about going to bed.
We have to be ready for tomorrow.
Want to come for a walk with me?
The same goes for
our two pairs of lovebirds.
Too bad.
Sleep tight, okay?
Hey,
do you think Tobi likes me?
What does it look like?
I just think
everyone shows it differently,
on the outside.
He doesn't seem interested.
At least you've done it.
I'm just so unsure...
I'm afraid
he thinks I'm too flat-chested.
Just look at the others.
What?
I want to sleep with him.
I don't mind that...
No, what you just said.
What have I done?
Why? Wasn't it good, sleeping together?
Who slept with whom?
You and Tobi.
Who said that?
No idea.
I must've gotten something wrong.
Who said that?
Wait, before I say something wrong
I'll follow up on it.
I'll do some research.
Being in a tent with you is cool.
Imagine if you were here with Anke.
That would seem way too planned.
It would ruin all the excitement.
You'd both know it would happen.
Like a married couple on Sunday morning.
How boring!
But you know it'd happen
with Sandra too.
She's not ready yet.
She's insecure about her breasts.
Let's not talk about breast size.
I like her the way she is.
Did you shut the tent right?
I mean, the queerstrokers could come
and, who knows...
D'you think we can be friends with them?
- Why not?
As long as they don't hit on me.
What it
one of them fell in love with you?
I'd have a problem with that.
I mean, I couldn't reciprocate.
They'd probably say,
"You just don't know it yet".
I wouldn't have thought they were gay.
They don't look it.
Over and out.
Good night. Sweet dreams.
And be a little nicer to Anke tomorrow.
Hey, Schorsi!
Keep it up, Tobi!
Come on, don't let them get away!
Rhythm! In unison now.
Rhythm!
Dear Lord! This is unbelievable!
I'll have you all
running around the lake!
Oh God!
I'm sorry!
I'm such a dolt!
- Forget it.
No wonder,
if they row like you ride a bike.
Do you have a tissue?
No... no, I don't.
Give it here.
Your boys aren't bad.
- Making waves, making waves!
Queer, queer, queer!
50.6! I knew it.
That's a boat-length slower.
How embarrassing.
Flasche, be more careful.
How? Should I starve?
- 48 was the deal.
If I don't weigh 50, we're disqualified.
I've got a plan!
We'll put him on a diet.
And before the race,
he'll just drink two liters.
And then?
- Then the judge'll weigh him...
50 kilos. Minimum weight.
That doesn't help us.
- After urinating, he's two kilos less.
I don't believe it!
What was that?
After all that training!
That better be an exception.
If we don't get that trophy...
I just can't...
I can't...
I didn't want to tell you...
so as not to put
too much pressure on you.
Schorschi, you tell them.
If we win, his dad will give us...
two new boats.
And what do we get if we lose?
Nothing but a bunch of trouble.
Especially if we lose to the queers.
I don't care if they're gay.
Let's just win!
Find a partner.
Sit-ups.
When did Anke and Tobi have sex?
Why?
- Just wondering.
Shall we?
Cool.
Shall we?
Why did you say that?
Word sure gets around.
So how was the sex with me, huh?
Sorry, I know that was stupid.
At least we agree.
How could you say something like that?
Was it necessary?
Say something!
- Okay.
It so happens
that I'd like to sleep with you.
I just don't know how.
Believe it or not,
the guy who's normally so confident,
well, he's...
a bit shy in that department.
You mean it would help
if the girl were...
a bit more forward?
Sure.
That's what he secretly hopes for.
People, please concentrate
on what's important!
We are.
The cause of Jesus needs believers,
Among us his spirit searches.
He sets us free,
so that we...
Gnther!
What, don't you know the song?
...those whose hearts are full
of hate and dissention,
who will liberate them for peace?
Good day.
I have something for you,
because I'm so sorry.
20 minute break.
Shall we go for a swim?
That was so silly of me, earlier.
Nice bouquet.
Hansi's right,
we gotta make an effort to win.
Do you have a vase?
- Maybe in our kitchen tent. - Hansi,
what's up?
- Hey, Schorschi,
can you ask the boys for a vase?
Schorsi's coming.
Everyone get ready.
Oh, you surprised me!
Are they for me?
My name's Oli.
I need a vase.
Check in the kitchen tent.
Bye!
Is that the kitchen tent?
Schorschi, it's you.
Looking for something?
The kitchen tent.
These fold-outs look a bit funny, huh?
Ow! Be more careful, that hurt!
What? Where?
There.
I have the cucumber.
Still looking for a vase?
I'll have a look, don't worry.
Do we have a container?
You guys are sick!
Bye, Schorsi.
He really has a problem!
Why are you running?
I'm sick of you fags, okay?
Hey, wait.
What's that supposed to mean?
Who says I'm one of those cocksuckers?
I don't know and I don't care.
Nobody calls me a fag
and gets away with it.
You think I look gay?
You think I'm a pansy?
No. - Do I seem gay to you?
- Not really.
Alright then.
Then let's talk normally,
man to man.
I saw you on the boat.
Yeah?
You're a really good rower.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You have a definite air of authority,
if you know what I mean.
Yeah, sure.
If you want,
I'll give you Mirkovitsch's number.
Mirkovitsch?
The national coach.
Oh yeah, him.
I can talk to him.
- Really?
That'd be great.
Hey, about what I said...
Don't worry about it.
Alright then...
One last question.
- Go ahead.
What's a guy like you
doing with
a bunch of fudge packers like that?
I'm writing a paper
on sexual disorientation.
Oh.
- And they don't know,
so don't say anything.
Don't worry, I promise. See you.
Food's ready.
Let's have it.
I'm starved.
Whoever made that tent
must have studied design in North Korea.
You're a walking clich.
Be sure to let those wrists hang.
- Come on. everyone's an individual.
I'm sorry. But sometimes
you really act like a girl.
How about your feminine side?
I just have it under control.
I'm gay because I like boys, not girls.
Hold on, this is getting too personal.
I think I've lost my appetite.
His straight days are over!
I'm giving him one day, maybe two.
His crotch was bulging.
Next week is harvest time!
Forget it, he's a hardcore straight.
- So what?
I've cracked even the hardest of nuts.
That Bavarian piggy's no exception.
Straight boys make great toys.
You're so compulsive.
Is it all about sex?
I've got nothing to be ashamed of.
He's not gay, so why hit on him?
What's your problem, anyway?
I'm sick of all this talk about sex.
Don't you think about anything else?
- Yeah, my good shape.
People think all gays are like Malte.
Clich ol! - I mean,
why is our boat called "petite toile",
when it could be called
"Champion" or "Eiffel Tower"?
How phallic!
- You know what I mean.
And our club name, Queerstroke,
is just begging for stereotyping.
Why can't we just be called
Berlin Rowing Club XYZ?
There you are!
I was looking for Schorsch.
I can't do it!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Hansi!
Keep it down.
Hey, why can't we live up there?
Because being out in nature
is good for you.
It's an experience
that stressed-out managers
pay lots of money for.
Besides, the youth hostel is closed,
as you can see.
Let's go.
Back to the roots in boots.
What are we?
We're damned good!
Cheers!
Good morning!
Morning!
- Wanna come in?
We'd love to.
- I bet! We're almost done.
Have you had that long?
My good luck charm.
A present. If you want,
we'll bring you one from South America.
Who?
Sandra asked me to join her
on a trip to South America.
Her cousin can't make it,
and the tickets are already paid for.
And our Interrail trip?
We can do it next summer.
Good morning.
How are you?
- Sleep well?
Shall we go swimming later?
- Okay.
Let me give you a hand.
- Not necessary.
I don't mind.
Our team is really getting along.
I want to win that trophy so badly.
I get the feeling you're mad at me.
What do you mean?
You and Achim are like Siamese twins,
and I'm like a bad witch
trying to come between you.
Hey,
nobody can take away
what Achim and I have been through.
Do I detect
some kind of undertone?
What kind of undertone?
If you have a problem,
then go ahead and tell me.
Can you keep a secret?
I can.
Well, it is about you and Achim.
All he talks about is you.
You shouldn't hold off with the sex.
That won't make your breasts any bigger.
Sandra thinks
she's driving a wedge between us.
And your sex with Anke?
Why make up something like that?
You lied straight to my face.
I was just joking,
or boasting, whatever.
We've known each other for ages,
you know I'm a show-off.
And I was stoned too!
Shall we?
No thanks.
Tobi, this is way too much for me!
Jerking off in the boathouse is okay,
but a little kiss is a disaster!
I can't figure you out!
What a macho oaf!
- It's cold!
Hi, everybody!
- Hey.
Pretty fit!
I'm impressed.
Are you leaving?
We still have practice,
and I'm late already.
Your friend was in a hurry too.
Did you have a fight?
Let me get one thing straight:
He's a friend, not a boyfriend!
That's not how it was meant.
You straight guys are so paranoid!
And Schorsch...
what's his deal?
- Schorsch?
His dad's our sponsor.
Gruber Farm Equipment.
Might not tell you much,
but back home...
He owns half of Bavaria.
See you later.
- Bye.
Why don't you stay?
I'd really like that.
Come on, hillbilly,
how about a race?
One, two, three!
There's a wasp!
- Where is it?
What a show-off.
You always ride in the C boat?
Show-off? I'm the best, that's all!
I almost fell in again.
Where are the others?
What time is it?
Why did I have to lie in the sun?
Need some cream?
Will it help?
Better than nothing.
Should I?
Come on, lie down.
I slept through practice.
Hansi must be pissed.
I'm late already.
Don't be afraid.
I'll be gentle.
Ow! Damn it!
Sunburn.
What's wrong?
I'm sorry. I can't do it.
If you don't love me, or if
I'm doing something wrong, then tell me.
What's wrong?
I'm in love.
With whom? Do I know her?
You do.
It's not Sandra?
I don't believe it!
It's not a girl.
Achim?
Everyone out.
Go right to the kitchen tent.
What did I do?
What's wrong?
- Think about it.
I don't know. Tell me!
You missing practice was weak, Tobi.
Donsn't the sport count anymore?
Are you preoccupied, or what?
Hansi, I'll get back into it.
I'll be ready to get that trophy...
Trophy! It's about pulling together,
staying together, all of us, as a team!
It's about the sport,
and your attitude.
That's what it's about.
Everything okay?
Of course. Why shouldn't it be?
We're gonna have a blast!
Right on!
Think about what you told Tobi!
What did I tell him?
Wait a second!
Cold beer?
Anybody need one?
Everyone's taken care of.
Here's the rice.
I hope the weather holds.
- I hope it's not too hot for the race.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Still going, even at that age!
Somehow reassuring, isn't it?
I see everyone's in a great mood.
Could I talk to you alone?
Sure.
Should I show you my specialty?
Cooking for real explorers:
The Columbus egg.
Try to get it to stand up.
Not now.
- Go ahead. - No!
Do you know how?
What?
- Look at the mess! - But it was funny.
Are there any napkins?
- Check outside.
I'll put it in here.
Are you going snorkeling, or what?
What was that?
Come with me.
Now listen:
I'm happy I'm not the reason
things are the way they are.
If you love a boy,
I just have to accept it.
I can't compete with that.
But if you keep playing the class clown.
then I feel sorry for you.
Do you want to keep living a lie?
Pretty absurd, isn't it?
Georg's really falling for it.
Ypu don't need to hide behind Tobi.
You could just as easily be coxswain.
Maybe.
I'll bet your dad's a real bigwig.
Must be hard to be in his shadow.
- You got that right.
He'll never win him over.
- You'd be surprised who he's won over.
He's convinced that some straight guys
are just begging to be conquered.
Bisexual's better than nothing.
Hey, I set up a trial with Mirkovitsch.
- Really? - Yeah.
Thanks!
- No problem.
There's something else
I wanted to ask you.
Want to take a walk?
During the race, could you...
I just want to make sure
that the homos don't win.
Don't worry, I'll keep it to myself.
Sure, I'll let them lose.
- Right on!
No problem...
But what do I get out of it?
- I'll owe you a favor.
Or do you mean money?
No, not money.
- Then what?
What about this?
What's going on?
Heartaches.
Et voil!
That looks good.
Is there any ketchup?
- We don't have ketchup.
Then pass one of those queer sauces.
I mean, that sauce there.
Alright, I'll pass you the queer sauce,
and you pass me the queer corn.
This is for everybody.
I need a beer. You too?
Heard the one about
three gays and a blonde in the woods?
Two hold her, the third does her hair.
I'm gonna find Achim and Sandra.
- No need! They want to be alone.
What?
They're in the tent, and... you know.
Schorschi's not at our campsite either.
I'm not waiting any longer.
He's been gone for over two hours,
and a storm's brewing.
And if he's in the forest,
and a tree falls on him,
I don't want the blame.
Let's not get dramatic.
We've got to do something.
We'll join you.
What about the food?
- Cold buffet.
Where's Achim? Sandra?
Achim!
I get scared in the forest!
- Don't worry, I'll protect you.
With what?
- With these, of course!
That's reassuring.
- Come on.
Schorschi!
- Georg!
Man, he's got some nerve.
I don't get it. Why would he run away?
- It beats me.
We were just talking, and...
Well, I just gave him a little kiss.
Not everyone likes
to get a tongue in their mouth.
I can relate.
Sounds like
you're talking from experience.
Stop.
- Were your raped by a woman?
Come on, who penetrated you
with their tongue?
Was it a guy?
End of discussion.
Just when it was getting good.
Someone's over there.
Knock it off!
I'm sorry.
Gay or not gay?
I won't let a homo find me,
just to be clear.
Don't be stupid! Come on down.
This is a waste of time.
How long
are we supposed to stand around?
There he is!
Man, Schorschi!
- Where were you?
What are you doing?
Are you crazy? You can't just run off!
Now where's Achim?
Are those two gone as well?
- Where are they?
They went into the forest.
- Then the party can go on.
Come on, then.
- And what should we do?
They want to be alone.
- Nonsense!
Come on, they're probably
back at the campsite by now.
Have you all lost it?
Achim could be out there,
under a tree, or with a sprained ankle!
And all you can think about
is your damned food.
Bullshit, they're screwing.
Admit it, you're just jealous.
Of her, not him.
What are you talking about?
- Your buddy likes guys. - Oh yeah?
Take it easy.
- That's ridiculous.
Tell him it's ridiculous, Anke.
Let's knock this off and calm down.
Tobi, let's get some fresh air.
I'm not gay!
Oh shit!
You've completely lost it!
You're shitting your pants,
just like your team!
What is this?
Have you all gone mad?
What ever happened to fair play?
Dammit, call off your homophobic thugs!
- Homophobic?
What has that got to do...
- Oh, shit!
Why is everything about being gay?
Well done, Tobi!
I've had enough of you all.
Where were you?
That's it!
We're breaking camp!
Leave your things,
we're going to the youth hostel.
Yeah! - Yes!
- Great!
Ferdl! Come on, come on!
Thank God!
Everyone find a room.
There must be some vacancies.
Come on.
What's this about?
- Nothing, I'm sleeping here.
Oh, are you?
What's your deal? I don't even
know who you are anymore!
I won't let you
come between Sandra and me!
You said nothing can get between us.
- So now it's my fault?
Don't you realize
it's not all about you?
I thought we were a team.
No.
Not anymore.
And we're not best friends.
You'd better find another bed.
She should find another bed!
- Now leave!
Get out of here, will you?
What are you doing here?
This is dry.
Thanks.
How was it with you?
It wasn't easy.
But then it got easier?
If you hide your whole life,
you'll forget who you even are.
It itches.
Come here.
Are you hungry?
Of course!
- Sure.
Come on everybody, dig in!
Everyone gets a yogurt.
Are there any spoons?
- I forgot the spoons!
No, just kidding.
What do you think?
Good morning.
Morning, girls.
- What's up?
Good morning.
Hello there!
Is everybody fit?
- Yes.
We have to see
how the competition will be held,
now that one boat's damaged.
You won't mind
if the boys get the boat?
I'm sorry, girls.
We didn't mean that much to you anyway.
No, that's not true.
Stop it.
What's wrong?
Can't I kiss girls anymore,
just because I'm gay?
Hardcore.
Anyone else want a banana?
Why's everyone grinning?
Come on, we want to win!
Bravo, Tobi!
What are we?
We're damned good!
Making waves, making waves!
- Queer! Queer! Queer!
Just barely.
50.1.
Then we can start.
Let's go, boys.
I'm sorry, we have to cancel.
What?
- What?
You can't row with three rowers.
I really tried,
but my shoulder hurts too much.
Now what? - You should've
asked that before the fight.
I thought the fight was great!
I feel so manly now.
You be quiet.
and stop being such a fool.
I think I have an idea.
I want to see some action,
you hunk!
Some idea that was!
We'll see.
On your marks...
Shit! - What?
- Get set...
I forgot to pee!
This year's A-class juniors' trophy
goes to the Queerstroke Rowing Club,
with coxswain Malte Peters!
I wanted to know if it's cool with you.
Because you once said
that it would be a big problem.
I think it'll take some time.
It's pretty hard tor me.
I'm not sure yet.
- So Hansi, what about the new boats?
Please Gnther, not now.
At least we got silver.
I have something to say...
That thing in the bushes...
I was choking the chicken.
You must be crazy!
You're such a fucking jackass!
Schorsi...
Bye, take care.