Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare (2024) Movie Script
1
My name's Kirat.
I'm keeping you company
until six o'clock today.
What happened to me
is just one big crazy story.
You can't even make it up.
I had a busy social life in London.
I was very focused on my career.
I'll probably wait a few minutes
before I get round to answering your call.
But one day, I get a friend request
from Bobby that changes my life forever.
If I'm going to do
a message to the man of my dreams,
I should really sort my face out.
I never thought I would be
in an online relationship.
I love you
from the bottom of my heart.
So many people
told me he genuinely loves me.
How was I fooled by them?
What I wouldn't give to hold you.
I love you so much.
What was a lie?
I've been waiting every day
for you to come.
What was the truth?
I never doubted
the person that he really is.
I needed Bobby to see me face-to-face.
Can we go
right back to the start?
Tell me about
the first time you meet Bobby.
I first met Bobby in 2011...
...in the city on the south coast
of England called Brighton.
I was out
for my friend's hen weekend.
I was 32, in a long-term relationship.
All my friends are getting married,
and I just felt,
"When's it gonna be my turn?"
I want to dance, let off steam,
have a good laugh on the dance floor.
But then I see this tall man in a turban.
I'd been talking to him online
for the last few months.
His name's Bobby Jandu.
I'm just, like, shouting,
"Bobby! Bobby!"
And he was like, "Yes."
It was like...
He's acknowledged it was him.
And I'm like, "It's Kirat."
And he's like, "Who?"
And I was like, "Kirat. From Facebook."
"We've been talking."
But the music was loud, and I was like,
"Maybe he can't hear me properly,
and he's drinking."
So, I just assumed, like,
he was a bit smashed.
So I was like, "Do you know,
I don't want to embarrass him."
And I remember going back and saying,
"I can't believe
I've just bumped into him in Brighton."
I never mentioned it
to Bobby until many years later.
I just thought it wasn't a big deal.
I'm born and raised
in West London.
I've lived here all my life.
I'm a Punjabi Sikh woman.
My parents are born in Kenya.
And the Kenyan South Asian Sikh community
is very small, very tight.
And everyone knows everyone's business.
Bobby started messaging me
about four months
before I met him in Brighton.
I didn't automatically add people
on Facebook because they talked to me.
But we became friends on Facebook
because we had mutual connections.
Bobby's younger brother,
JJ, was dating my baby cousin, Simran.
They were both teenagers,
and I was giving them advice.
I've always tried
to be there for all my cousins.
Bobby comes from a well-respected family
in the Kenyan community.
He has quite
a hoity-toity kind of lifestyle.
A well-to-do lifestyle.
He's happily married.
He's based between Kenya and the UK.
And he's a cardiology consultant.
He was working all the time.
But around 2011,
I also had a lot going on.
If you wanna be big,
you need to get out there and perform.
I was progressing
with my marketing career.
I was doing huge events.
Festivals, music events.
Giving emerging artists a stage.
Over that period of time,
Bobby and I became good friends online.
I've got lots of male friends.
And Bobby and I seemed to have
a shared sense of being responsible people
within our own circles.
But after a while, things
started to go wrong in Bobby's life.
His wife cheated on him.
All I can do is be a shoulder for him.
But because he's sharing so much,
I ended up sharing a bit
about my own relationship as well.
I was 32, and me and my partner had been
together on and off since I was 18.
But as soon as we got close
to getting married,
he'd just get cold feet.
He'd disappear for a year.
And then, as soon as I kind of tried
to move on, he would reappear.
And I would always go back to him
because it was, like, that whole loyalty,
that whole... how I'd been brought up.
Marriage is a big deal
in our culture.
From a very young age,
I dreamed of getting married
and having a family early.
That's what matters to me
more than anything else.
There's a picture of me
as I think I was two.
My auntie dressed me up
in my mum's wedding outfit.
That's their hopes and dreams as well.
Marriage is important. I've always said,
"Kirat, look, you have to get married."
And every parent wishes
to be a grandparent, you know?
She had quite a number of proposals,
as soon as she came back from uni,
and she always declined.
It's not that we haven't helped.
It's for her to make up her mind.
I want to make sure she's happy.
But if the girl does not get married,
I think you're looked down upon.
And, erm, I think she feels pressure
from the community,
from the friends, from the families,
when they think,
"Oh my God. Why is she still not married?"
Kirat is my cousin, but really,
I think of her as my older sister.
Just someone that you can go to
for advice.
Not just me, but all of the cousins.
I've been with Kirat
when she's received comments, sort of,
"Have you found someone yet?"
Or, "Do you need us to find you someone?"
A couple of weddings,
I've been at the kids' table.
I would vent my frustrations with Bobby.
Bobby was the person saying,
"No, you're fine.
There's nothing wrong with you."
Over the next few months,
I didn't hear from Bobby.
And obviously,
I just thought, after his divorce,
he's getting on with his life.
And then he messages me out of the blue.
He's like, "Hey.
I've got something to tell you."
So...
Her name's Sanj.
I cannot imagine being happier
than I am with you.
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
Will you be my wife?
Is that a yes?
I was concerned
that it was a rebound
because it happened
within a year of breaking up with his ex.
But he seemed happy,
and as long as he was happy,
then who was I to say anything?
Bobby wanted me
to meet Sanj and get to know her.
And we became friends on Facebook.
I am invited to the wedding.
And due to family circumstances
at that time, I just couldn't go.
They got married
in Kenya in December 2012.
As time goes on,
I stay in touch with them.
The sounds of the 5 Rivers.
That is Desi Radio on 1602 AM.
Thursday is radio day.
My show is called the Bhangra Roadshow.
My name's Kirat.
I'm keeping you company until six o'clock.
...020 854 173.
I'll probably wait a few minutes
before I get round to your calls,
but I promise you, I will do my very best
to do so because all these people...
I'm doing my show.
Hello, Desi Radio.
And I've got Facebook open
'cause people message me. They shout out.
Okay, ji. Bye.
On my Facebook Feed,
Sanj has posted
a photo of Bobby with a comment,
saying Bobby's been shot
several times in Kenya.
He's in a critical condition,
and he's in a coma.
I feel sick seeing something like that.
And I was so worried about him.
But I've got a show I need to finish.
I've got listeners that I'm talking to,
and I've still got to carry on
and get through the show.
I'm fearing the worst.
Thankfully, my cousin Simran
is in Kenya as well.
Simran and Bobby's family
were old family friends,
so they were quite close.
She was providing me updates,
so that was helpful.
Bobby's in a serious condition.
All I can do is pray
that he makes it through.
My daughter Roshni
and I had popped round Kirat's house.
You could tell that she was quite upset,
and I said, "Are you okay?"
And she said, "No. Bobby's been shot."
It was just absolutely mental.
Like, so many questions
shoot through your head.
You're like, "Is he okay?
What's gonna happen now?"
I gave her a hug,
and she just let it all out.
She was crying,
and it was then that I realized
that even though their friendship
was on Facebook only,
it obviously was a very deep friendship.
I'd been friends
with Bobby for three years.
It's just sad
that I hadn't got to meet him again
before all this happened.
And then, one day, I'm at work.
I get a call from Simran...
...that changes everything.
Absolutely everything.
She tells me Bobby's in witness protection
in a hospital in New York,
recovering from his awful injuries.
Witness protection?
New York?
What is going on?
I didn't understand.
Ever wonder what happens
when you disappear in plain sight
with the help of the federal government?
Apparently, he was escorted from Nairobi
to New York with the support of Interpol.
It's a program
shrouded in secrecy,
run by the US Marshals Service.
Witnesses in danger are protected,
relocated, and given new identities.
It's just something
like out of a movie
and quite a hard thing
to get your head around.
I understood for someone
to be in witness protection,
there had to be
some kind of threat to life.
Bobby's from a well-known family,
and some of the photos and things
that I've seen online show wealth,
which is why he might be targeted.
Just in the last few minutes,
we have heard heavy gunfire.
People being shot
in Kenya wasn't unusual.
It's less common now,
but even in my own friends
and family circle,
people have been murdered or killed.
I just thought,
after the shooting incident,
his powerful family
had to get him out of danger.
Bobby messages me
but from a new Facebook profile.
He tells me that he's
in witness protection
because of a failed business deal
that he'd done.
And ultimately,
he was the one that paid the price.
I'm terrified,
because if anyone caught
him communicating with me,
I might put myself in danger.
But Bobby wasn't coping.
His mental health has deteriorated.
And, under the pressure
of everything that's happened...
Bobby and Sanj's marriage...
starts to fall apart.
And eventually end up getting divorced.
Bobby had nobody.
I'm really, really concerned.
He's clearly dealing
with a lot of negative things in his life.
I try to be there
for him as much as I can.
But then I have
a very horrible breakup with my partner.
After 18 years, we broke up for good.
And I was scared of
letting my parents down
and doing the wrong thing by them.
I felt very upset
because they had dreams together.
They were planning the wedding.
Kirat was thinking
that she's going to let us down
because we were always hoping
for her to just get married and settle.
I always say it's not her fault.
We are always there to support her.
I am distraught.
I'm 35 already.
Took away a massive part
of my future plan.
And it takes time to
come to terms with that.
But Bobby
would always check in on me,
even though he was struggling
with his health.
Bobby introduced me to a couple of
his friends and family online as well.
Somebody from witness protection
had okayed for him to talk to us.
There was a particular cousin
of Bobby's called Yashvir.
Everyone called him Yash.
Yash was a bit of a clown.
He was a bit of an entertainer.
We are constantly speaking to Bobby
to keep his spirits up in hospital.
There's another person
who I'm beginning to speak to a lot more.
His name's Rajvir.
Like Bobby, he's also a medic,
and he's managed to get himself
on the medical team
to help Bobby in witness protection.
He starts asking me a lot of questions
about things Bobby might have said to me
and how he's feeling
to check in on his mental health.
But he's also talking to Yash.
So eventually the three of us
set up a Facebook group.
We become the Three Amigos.
Bobby and I have been speaking
for four years now.
We've sent thousands of messages.
One day, he tells me...
he loves me.
Ugh, just... it was...
I totally ignored that comment.
I was adamant
he was not in the right headspace.
I know I wasn't in the right place
to start a new relationship.
Yashvir and Rajvir were both saying,
"No, he really loves you.
It's so obvious."
I was taking time to process everything,
when something happens.
He starts to experience
symptoms of a stroke.
And there's no reply.
Eventually, Rajvir shares
a picture of Bobby in his hospital bed.
It was just wires everywhere.
He asks me to record a farewell message.
He says, you know,
there's a chance that he can hear you.
I love you so much, Bobby.
Whatever it is we have,
it's special.
I wish things could have been different.
If I could just hold you once.
I'll never forget you.
I love you, Bobby.
I just can't believe
it took him being on his deathbed
for me to realize
that it was a special friendship.
Incredibly, he manages to pull through.
I just try to imagine
how he must be feeling,
being alone in a hospital,
where he didn't have people
he knew and loved around him.
Because of the stroke,
he was paralyzed on one side,
and he lost his voice.
But at that moment, he's alive.
Luckily, he had some movement,
so he's able to actually message me.
And on Valentine's Day, Bobby sends me
the first romantic message.
He says, "With a woman
like you in my life,
I really am the luckiest man
in the world."
"You should be told how amazing you are
every day, all year round,
my beautiful Kirat."
"I love you. Happy Valentine's Day."
From this moment on,
we're now in a relationship.
We're committed to each other.
And that means
I'm in it for the long haul.
Because if I commit, I commit.
Kirat mentioned about
her relationship with Bobby.
His family was quite popular,
very well-known.
I didn't know them personally,
but we knew the family was really good.
Kirat was quite confident
that what she knew about him was fine.
I said, "Do you really think
you want to go ahead
with, uh... with somebody
who's not very well?"
Kirat's answer was something can always
go wrong even once she's married,
so she wanted to move forward.
So, tell me...
what are you doing?
Like you'd do in a normal relationship,
you get to know each other better,
and we tried to make it
as normal as you can online.
I want you to make a big deal
about absolutely everything
because I want to hear every tiny detail.
His vocal cords were damaged,
so he couldn't speak at all.
It might be boring to you,
but for me, it makes me feel
like I'm a part of your life.
I'd record a voice note,
and he would reply, typing.
We started doing things like date nights.
You watching anything good?
We both supported the same football team,
Manchester United.
So, if you're well enough...
And we'd watch games online together.
This is very much
the nice honeymoon period.
I am falling in love with him, maybe.
But the only thing that I had
were old pictures of him online.
You make me smile every single day.
You make me feel loved every single day.
Is there a sexual side
to your relationship with Bobby?
Well, that's rather private.
Is that an appropriate question to ask?
Do you know
what I always think about?
What amazing stories
we're going to have to tell our babies.
Bobby had always wanted to be a dad.
We both knew
how much it meant to each of us.
We'd been together for three months.
His rehabilitation program was working.
Bobby has got hope.
I think some people would think,
"Oh my God,
you've still only met him
in person once in Brighton."
But I think with Bobby, I was thinking,
it's just nice
to have something I've never had,
which is that respect
and to be loved unconditionally.
That's how it felt.
Like, it didn't matter what I did,
Bobby was always there.
I love you from the bottom of my heart.
One day, while we're messing around
on a new feature on Facebook,
Bobby proposes to me.
I mean, it's quite an unusual way
to do it,
but I don't need
a big, extravagant proposal.
Of course, all girls dream of them,
but lots of things seem
like they're superficial and for show,
so an understated proposal is good enough.
Hey, sweets.
You believe it can happen?
Because I'm gonna cry.
At 36, the clock's still ticking,
and I want to have kids.
That's a big thing.
I thought to myself, "Yes. This could be."
So I said yes.
He's really, really keen.
Like, he's already looking
at wedding venues and outfits
and sending me
what he wanted to wear and everything.
He showed me a very bling ring.
"What do you think of this
as your engagement ring?"
It was very nice.
But for me, it wasn't practical
because I wanted to wear it all the time.
It had lots and lots
and lots of diamonds.
I told Rajvir about all the wedding stuff.
The proposal is unofficial
because the families haven't met,
but that promise has been made between us,
and that's still important.
Bobby and I discuss telling our families.
I was really nervous,
but I speak to my mum.
I was over the moon
because I was thinking,
"At last, Kirat is going to move forward."
But then I did mention, I said,
"This cannot go ahead
without your dad's permission."
Bobby did not want me
to tell anything to my husband
because Bobby wanted
to break the news himself
and give my husband a surprise.
He wanted to come all the way
from New York and see him face-to-face
and break the news to him.
With Bobby's family,
Bobby thought that being introduced
to his cousins first
was the best way to do it.
He set up a group.
I think there were about 30 of us.
Everyone was like,
"Hi, Kirat. It's so nice to meet you."
I felt really happy for her.
Like, this is my cousin.
Like, she's finally found
someone who is right for her. Like...
I was really looking forward
to meeting him.
Roshni also starts
talking to Bobby.
Hey, Bobby!
I miss talking to you. Well, Facebooking.
- You don't talk to him.
- Facebooking you. Same thing.
When Kirat was speaking to Bobby,
sometimes she'd send voice notes,
and I would be around,
so I would say some random stuff,
be playful, you know, like...
Hello, it's just me.
That was Roshni.
She's on my floor with me.
I was a classic teenager. Super angsty.
Bobby was a doctor.
So I started to speak
to Bobby about how I was feeling.
And he gives good advice,
and I feel like
I've been listened to and heard.
Instead of messaging,
Bobby and I had started using Skype.
Yes, you do.
Many times have I caught you out.
But because he was in witness protection,
we weren't allowed to video call.
It was just too risky.
Ooh!
Even though Bobby couldn't speak,
he would communicate
just by making some kind of noise,
whether it was a tap,
a grunt, or whatever it was.
And we'd just fall asleep
with the line... open.
Good morning, sweetheart.
We've been Skyping all night.
I stayed with you all night.
That was so lovely.
Eventually, we start speaking
on the phone.
With speech therapy,
he was able to whisper.
Like a hoarse whisper, like half a voice,
like this kind of thing,
but it's never ever
his normal, full voice ever again.
He constantly said how he hated his voice.
I had a couple of opportunities,
talking to Bobby on the phone,
and I found his voice very strange.
It was very squeaky.
Kirat was upset when I mentioned it.
She said, "Please don't judge him."
But despite this,
I was very happy for Kirat.
We did exchange text messages.
He used to talk about food,
and he would ask what did I make?
He said once they get married,
he'll be cooking for me, so I don't have...
I won't have to cook anymore.
The family
were really happy for her,
but obviously, being mid-30s,
the pressure was on her.
"So, when are we going to meet him?"
"And when are you
actually gonna get married?"
Bobby is still in New York,
in witness protection.
But not long after we get engaged,
it's Father's Day,
and he's received
an official-looking envelope.
And he says he's got something to tell me
and to brace myself.
Yeah.
I can't understand it because he's been...
divorced for such a long time.
He's basically forced
to admit to me that he's slept with her
on one occasion,
seven or eight months ago.
Before we got together.
I'm very aware of
the problems Sanj might create.
I don't want to feel
that I'm suddenly second best.
That I'm never gonna have you to myself.
I haven't had you to myself up till now.
It just felt... unfair.
Knowing how much I wanted to be a mum.
My cousin Simran
is helping me and supporting me.
I'd been conscious of
not speaking to her about things
because she's my baby cousin.
But the dynamic had obviously changed
because she's in her mid-20s now,
and she's known Bobby
far longer than I have.
And, poor Simran,
I am constantly messaging her.
No matter what Bobby did,
she's like, "He loves you."
"You know he loves you."
And I feel like...
...she's got that soft spot for Bobby.
For whatever reason.
After calming down,
I send quite a straightforward,
simple message to Bobby.
"Your baby, I can manage,
but I don't want Sanj in my life."
I was shocked, and I just couldn't believe
that Kirat was being so collected
about the whole thing and very trusting.
I think that was the moment
that I started having my doubts
about the whole relationship
between Bobby and Kirat.
I end up speaking
to Bobby's cousin, Kiran.
She's Yashvir's big sister,
and I have a lot of respect for her.
As a Punjabi Sikh woman,
she would understand that humiliation
of having to explain things to my family,
and, you know,
my family maybe going, "Just leave this."
And I don't want to tell
something like that to my mum.
Sanj gives birth to a baby boy
on 27 June 2015.
Bobby needed to make a choice.
I've put it to him that
he should go back to Sanj and end us.
But he wants to be with me.
He chooses me.
So we've got to make this work.
We can do this.
There's no point
in feeling anything about what's done.
He's here, and we just have
to show him that he's loved.
Bobby makes an effort
to include me in everything.
Have you decided on a name?
We'd spent a couple of nights
choosing names.
He really liked Jaivir.
We chose baby clothes,
and a couple of weeks later,
Bobby's now starting
to get pictures of his son.
It was nice to see that Sanj
actually put the clothes on him.
Do I need to come over there,
or are they gonna sort you out
to come here soon?
Eighteen months
into our relationship,
lots and lots of attempts
have been made to be together.
Rajvir has promised me he's gonna do
everything he can to make it happen.
But Bobby's in witness protection,
so there's a procedure
and a process they have to follow as well.
And all we've got to do
is wait this period out.
So, for the time being,
I ask Bobby for something that was his,
something that he'd touched.
So he's going to give me
one of his T-shirts.
And because Simran got
this new jet-setting job,
she's required to go
to a head office in New York.
He managed to get the nurse
to give his T-shirt to Simran,
and when she gets back,
I meet her to pick up the T-shirt.
Bobby had told me
he sprayed it with his aftershave,
so it's gonna stink
her whole suitcase out.
And I smelled the aftershave.
It was like, "Okay, he did it."
"She must be fuming."
Bobby made me feel loved.
And given the obstacles,
things were going well.
But despite this, there's only so much
you can live a relationship online.
You have to be with each other.
But there's always a reason
why he can't come.
It was really frustrating.
Do you know
how much I want to be with you?
Do you know
how much I want to look after you?
I was very disappointed
as well for him not turning up,
and I was trying
to console Kirat every time.
But then she wouldn't discuss
her feelings openly with me,
thinking that I would be upset
and distressed about all this.
I'd do anything.
The stress of the situation
is too much for him,
and things start
to feel different between us.
Because of the stroke,
Bobby's health was up and down,
and his mental health was fragile.
He started to lean on me quite a lot.
And I found myself walking on eggshells
because he was sensitive
to absolutely everything.
If I needed to go to the bathroom,
I didn't want to wake him up,
so, quietly, I'd just go.
He was like, "Where were you?"
If I wasn't on the other end
of the phone line, it upset him.
It was almost
like I needed his permission.
So every time I went to the bathroom,
I started telling him.
When I was there to hang out,
like, she would be on the phone to him.
She would be messaging him.
Like, he would
just be texting her, like, constantly.
It was like,
"I have only been here an hour,
and you've already had
several emergencies."
Every day, I'd get up
in the morning, take a selfie.
Send it to Bobby on Messenger.
I'd go to work.
Keep Facebook open for Bobby.
Drive home, eat dinner,
spend time with my family.
Then the Skype call would start.
Days all start gelling into one.
It was like he was attached to me.
It was like Bobby owned my time now.
Please, stop this.
Please.
I love you.
I noticed
that she's pulling away a lot from family.
From friends.
From me.
I'm really worried about her
at this point.
I can't face anybody at home.
I can't face work.
I... can't face anything.
On several occasions,
I've been tempted to disappear.
But if I tried to disappear,
then something would happen.
I feel like I need
to make sure that I don't upset him
because it might affect his health again.
I'd be talking to Yash, Bobby's cousin.
Bobby would get jealous and Bobby then
would be messaging me separately, saying,
angrily, like, "This is our time.
Why are you talking to him?"
I'm on the phone with one person,
then another is contacting me.
And they're messaging each other
while messaging me.
She was always told
where to go and where not to go.
She wasn't
her normal, lively self.
She stopped going out as such.
It was a total takeover of her life.
Everything was totally Bobby.
She doesn't have
the capacity for anything else.
She was not taking care of herself.
She was losing weight.
She looked like death.
Eventually, I'm made redundant
from my full-time marketing job,
and at the end of the year,
I don't even have a job.
And I'm doing one of
my final radio shows of the year,
and he's on the Skype call with me.
And I'm answering calls,
doing my thing as usual.
And he says I'm flirting.
Hi, Rajvir.
I don't know. I don't know.
He's accused me of flirting again.
He's a regular caller.
It's somebody who's been calling
for a year and a half, and he got angry.
At this point, they've all found
a reason to have a go at me.
So to prove, you know, I'm committed,
I'm loyal, so I give up my show.
I thought that was
a very controlling move.
And manipulative, I think.
Bobby always finds a way
to make me feel better.
He's sending flowers
and all sorts of gifts to Kirat regularly.
Thank you.
Here. I put them on for you
and took a picture.
When I mentioned
my doubts about Bobby,
Kirat used to get really upset
and emotional and say,
"We are gonna get married."
And that was the end of it.
It was really hard
to budge Kirat's decisions.
This thing has become
too important to fail.
I'm not 20-something.
If there's a chance this could still work,
I wanted it to work.
I have been waiting
every day for a yes, for you to come.
Finally, Bobby's
witness protection contract ends.
There is no excuse.
He has promised me he's coming to the UK.
I'm trying to stay positive,
but we get bad news.
My grandmother...
who I'm extremely close to...
...was sick.
We were told she could be dying.
We used to go there and, you know, sing.
She liked singing.
But because I was sleeping
on the phone with Bobby every night,
I couldn't stay the night with her.
My grandmother passes away.
And I really needed Bobby here
at this time.
One of her last days in the hospital,
she'd asked for my forgiveness
that she couldn't wait for Bobby to come.
And to see us married.
Bobby promised me, no matter what,
he will make it
for my grandmother's funeral.
And he didn't come.
With all these promises, all these plans
and everything just goes.
It hurts me.
It hurts me.
I'm just angry, and I want answers.
I absolutely lose it at Bobby.
I was screaming
at him on the phone saying,
"I don't care. I don't care.
Whatever happens, you come now."
"I don't need your presents, anything.
I just need you to come."
And literally, I'm giving him
an ultimatum.
I don't let him get a word in edgewise.
I was just... had it.
Finally...
Bobby tells me, "I'm coming tomorrow."
I'm now 39.
I'm scared of being disappointed.
But, at the same time,
relieved that he's finally coming.
I'm getting updates from his flight
for where his plane is in the air.
Even though it's been really messy...
this is it.
We'd always talked
about me meeting him at the airport,
but everything's been so intense.
We agree that Bobby
might need some time to settle back in
before he sees me.
He books himself into a hotel
in Kensington, near the hospital.
But after a couple of days...
I've still not seen Bobby.
From being relieved
that he's come to London,
thinking that finally
we can just get on with everything,
he's now again not seeing me.
My patience wears thin.
The excuses were so pathetic.
I'm angry, but I'm upset.
"It's happening again?"
I just needed him to see me face-to-face.
So I go to the hotel.
I give Bobby's full name.
And they can't find him.
And I say, "He's been staying here
for a couple of weeks at least now."
"Oh, there's nobody staying here
by this name."
My hands begin to shake
because I'm thinking
this is all another lie.
I call Simran.
You know, I don't know
who else to call by this time.
And she's, like, trying to say,
"Calm down. There must be a mistake."
And, erm, as I'm talking to her,
I get a call from Bobby.
I say to him, "I'm here
at the hotel. Just come downstairs."
He's like, "I've told reception
to not let anyone know that I'm here."
"Don't surprise me like that.
Just give me a couple of days."
I'm...
angry.
He's lying to me.
So I say to him,
"What the hell's going on?"
"You fucking don't show me your face
or want to see mine."
If you're here, why won't you see me?
I need an answer.
But then Bobby moves into the house that
I've known he's had in South Kensington.
So I go to find this house.
I say to him,
"I can't find your house."
"I can't see you.
I'm downstairs. I'm outside."
Bobby was like, "I can actually see you."
And he's telling me, "It's the end house."
"It's by the end house. It's this one,
but I don't want to see you."
I've got a gut feeling
that he's not even in Kensington.
Nothing makes sense.
And I'm questioning everything.
Everything I've seen online.
I don't know what the truth is anymore.
If he's not with me...
...he must be with Sanj.
She is the mother of Bobby's child.
I Googled Sanj.
Her number's there.
I call the number.
Sanj immediately answers...
..."Bobby, is that you?"
It sounded too natural and too normal.
Like she was expecting a call from Bobby.
And I just hung up.
So it's very clear to me
Bobby's still speaking to Sanj.
I feel like he's leading a double life.
I need to find out what is going on.
I remember when I had been doing
the family tree for Bobby,
I'd come across a postcode
for Sanj's parents' house.
Sanj leaves a house in front of me
and walks past my car.
And I remember one bit of me is so angry,
I want to just turn the engine on
just put my foot down on the accelerator.
But that's not me, and I was just so...
I was scared. I was so scared.
I was losing the will...
I... I was beginning
to not recognize myself.
And I do something really drastic,
and I just...
search "private investigator, London."
I ask for Bobby's current address.
That's all I ask for.
Within 24 hours,
I get an email saying,
"This is Bobby's current address."
And it's over an hour's drive from London,
in Brighton.
I was like, "Screw it. Let's just go."
I'm just watching Google Maps,
counting down the minutes.
I've got knots in my stomach.
I'm gearing myself up to see him.
I had to really control myself.
I ring the doorbell.
At first, I don't see anybody.
And on glancing past the driveway,
I see this woman walking away.
She turns around.
She makes eye contact.
And she starts
walking back towards the house.
We weren't expecting anybody.
So I dressed our son up
and then went downstairs.
There was a girl standing right there.
I'd never seen her in my life.
She says, "Hi, Bobby. It's me, Kirat."
My wife Sanj is like,
"Bobby, who is this?"
And, you know,
he just looked at me, and he said...
- "I have no idea."
- "I have no idea who this lady is."
"I've never spoken to her in my life."
The lady looks straight at me.
"Liar!" she says.
"Liar! How can you say this?"
"Why are you lying to me?"
"You've been talking to me for 8 years.
All the messages and all the calls."
He's done nothing
in the past that I shouldn't...
You know, that I sh... can't trust him for.
But who is she?
Why is she here?
I could just see her,
like, hyperventilating.
She's getting really agitated,
really anxious.
So I say to her, "You might be
confusing me for my younger brother JJ."
"We've often been confused
for one another."
"We look fairly similar."
And she says, erm, "No. Bobby Jandu."
And then she showed him
a picture of himself.
Then she looks directly at me,
makes eye contact, and says, "Sanj."
And then she points
at my son and says his name.
We needed to figure out
how she knew our names
and how she knew where we lived.
I've got my son just behind me,
and I'm starting to fear
how this could turn out
because we don't know
who this complete stranger is.
I've caught Bobby red-handed.
He's come to the UK for me,
and here he is with Sanj.
And he was acting
like he didn't know me.
That was even worse.
Everything around me was spinning.
The very fact that they were together...
...hurt.
But then my phone rings...
...and it's Bobby.
It's my face, but that's not my number.
And so he's like, "See?"
"That's not me calling you.
Somebody's pretending to be me."
And in my head, that's Sanj inside,
calling to prove something.
I'm scared.
You don't know what they're capable of.
I didn't know what to believe.
And it's at this point, she says...
"You talk to Simran all the time.
My cousin Simran." He was like...
"The only Simran I know
is this girl my brother dated."
So I called her, and I said,
"Sim, I'm with Bobby right now."
She says,
"He's denying everything."
I sort of interject,
"Can I please speak to Simran?"
"Simran, hi. This is Bobby here."
"I've got this lady outside my house,
claiming all these things,
that I've known her for years."
She says, "It's my cousin."
"She's just confused."
"Give her the phone back,
and I'll figure out what's going on."
Simran says, "Leave there, Kirat."
She says, "Just leave there."
My wife deadlocks the door, latch on,
makes sure the door is secure.
We're looking at each other,
and then there's...
...a bang on the door.
This time, I hear the chain unlock,
like I'm going to break their door down
or barge my way into their house.
She looks at Sanj and says,
"I know you're staying
at your parents' house in London
because I've seen you there
with your son."
Oh my God,
how long has she been watching me for?
Did she do that a lot?
And she mentioned that she felt
such a strong connection to Bobby's son.
And, uh, she had these presents
that she wanted to give to him.
She said something like,
"I have always felt he's my stepson."
This freaks me out
because we don't know
what she's capable of.
I just felt really scared.
I say, "Look, lady.
We're calling the police."
I was blinded by, like,
my rage and my tears.
I called Simran.
I was crying and...
screaming.
Simran's trying to keep me calm.
While I'm talking to her,
Bobby messages me.
And he says, "I'm so sorry.
You shouldn't have seen that."
But I was angry.
So angry at him.
For me, it's over.
It's a big betrayal of trust.
I didn't know
what was gonna happen to me now.
Were they gonna shame me?
Were they gonna turn on me?
Where did I stand in all of this?
What about my family?
When I wake up...
...Simran tells me
that she's spoken with Bobby,
and that they'd called the police.
I'm terrified of
whatever they might have said
because I haven't done anything.
And that scares me.
So I'm like, "I need to go to the police."
I'm in my room.
And I see a car pull up from the window.
Simran gets out of the car.
I've opened the door, and she says to me,
"I don't think I should come in."
And I've... She's got quite a serious face.
I'm like, "Why?"
She looks at me,
and she says, "It was all me."
"Well, what do you mean, 'It was all me'?"
She says...
"I... I'm Bobby."
I think slowly I'm registering she means
that she's been pretending to be Bobby.
But I can't quite understand,
and sh... I was, like, calling out names.
"What about Sanj?"
"What about Yash?"
"What about Rajvir?"
"What about... Kiran?"
"So-and-so?" She's like, "It's all me."
"It was me. It was me."
She's like, "I was all of them."
I suddenly question,
"Who have I been sleeping on the phone
with for the last three years?"
She says, "It was me."
I feel violated.
I want to be sick.
And I'm just screaming
at her like, just like,
"Why?" I just kept screaming.
"Why? Why did you do it?" and...
She... she's...
Like, she's ruined my whole life.
She's stolen the best years
of my life off of me.
And all she could say was
that I... I ruined my own life.
No expression. Nothing.
I received a message from Simran.
"It was basically me.
I don't know why I did it."
How... how can she pretend
to be me for so long?
And I'm... And she's...
she's a girl, doing it to her cousin.
None of it made any sense.
She goes on to say,
"I need counselling
to help me work through it all."
"I'm sorry for everything."
"If you would be willing
to deal with it without the police..."
Come on.
I respond, "I will not be hiding
anything from the police,
and thank you for coming clean."
"Good luck."
Brighton police station
call me to say
that Bobby told them
that he had a confession from Simran,
and that I had been a victim of a crime
and that I should report it
to my local police station.
But when I do,
the officer tells me I'm not a victim.
The real victims are
the real Bobby and the real Sanj.
And then I say to the officer,
"I don't know
how crudely to put this to you,
but say it was
an intimate situation with Bobby,
I haven't given any consent
to Simran to do anything with me,
to be anything with me."
"It's deception."
"It's manipulation."
The police aren't going
to investigate it,
so I had to eventually take matters
into my own hands.
I immediately started trying
to download evidence online.
I start to download Skype messages,
WhatsApp messages, images.
Collate everything
on a massive spreadsheet.
But I'm beginning
to see profiles disappear.
Simran created them all.
She's making them disappear.
And that's tampering with evidence.
I'm trying to take as many screenshots
as I can before they disappear.
I collect hundreds
of thousands of messages.
We're talking about ten years' worth.
When I think back to the club in Brighton,
when I bumped into Bobby,
which was the real Bobby,
that is a sliding-doors moment,
but there's so many moments like that.
I find out when Bobby's brother JJ
added me on Facebook,
it was actually Simran.
Simran had dated JJ in real life,
but they had broken up.
And the version of JJ
that I'd been introduced to was fake.
Starting from there,
every character connected to JJ, Bobby...
everybody is all Simran.
As I'm looking
into all these profiles...
some of them are real people
whose profiles had been duplicated.
And some of them are totally made up.
And some of them are just supporting
characters commenting on main characters.
The detail of the conversations,
it was so elaborate, so huge.
Both Bobby and Yash's
Facebook profiles had posts on them.
Like, they were active.
They were really there.
I shared information with Bobby,
thinking that he was
a medical practitioner.
I was underage at this time.
Like, that is sickening.
Ultimately, I find 60 profiles.
Sixty?
Sixty. Six-zero.
She had used all these different guises
to control me.
And hold my fears against me.
In pictures sent to me,
Bobby's son was wearing clothes
that we'd picked together.
Unbeknownst at the time to me,
those baby photos already existed
on the real Bobby's Facebook page.
Somehow, she had reverse-engineered it
to lead me to pick those clothes.
There's even been times
when I've been with Simran,
and she'd be fiddling on her smartwatch,
and I would get a message from Bobby.
Now I realize that she was messaging me
as Bobby while with me.
Simran went to extreme lengths
to deceive me.
This didn't just impact me,
it impacted my family.
Everyone who thought
they were speaking to Bobby,
they were all victims too.
I think "cruel" is a word
that I would use to describe Simran.
She's pushed
so many people through trauma.
It's just unbelievable
one person can do what they have.
Simran is someone who is
from the community, knows Bobby,
knows all these people,
and has all the tools
to create a massive web.
Simran knew that
if I had mentioned this to my husband,
he will definitely go
and visit the family in Kenya.
So I couldn't even
talk openly to my husband.
She tricked all of us.
I'd never even heard of catfishing before.
Catfishing should be made a crime,
you know.
Why it happened, how it happened,
without my knowledge.
I just want to ask Simran,
why did she do this to Kirat?
Did Kirat upset her in any way?
I want an answer from Simran.
I think one of the reasons she did it
was to feel a sense of power,
to feel like she was controlling
everything around her.
Like, that's pretty damn sick.
I was targeted just
for somebody's entertainment, I think.
When somebody who knows you
does this to you,
you haven't got a hope in hell.
I get a call
from a lawyer working with Kirat.
He gives me this folder about this thick,
with details of this huge,
elaborate scheme
to convince Kirat that there is
a fake version of me out there
who is extraordinarily extravagant.
But we're just a normal family
with a very ordinary lifestyle.
That moment was even more shocking
than the morning that Simran confessed.
My name's Kirat.
I'm keeping you company
until six o'clock today.
Catfishing, it's, like, a pop-culture term
where it's a bit of fun.
It's entertainment for the onlookers.
I want to help break the stigma,
to stop victims from being shamed.
But we need to understand
why the Internet should be regulated.
I'm not looking for sympathy.
I'm looking for people to say,
"This is wrong."
"We need to be making people accountable."
I am now 44,
and I am doing my utmost
to get my life to where it should be.
Will I ever be a mum?
You know, at my age now,
it's a massive question mark.
But I've got
to be responsible for my future.
Simran never will be.
My name's Kirat.
I'm keeping you company
until six o'clock today.
What happened to me
is just one big crazy story.
You can't even make it up.
I had a busy social life in London.
I was very focused on my career.
I'll probably wait a few minutes
before I get round to answering your call.
But one day, I get a friend request
from Bobby that changes my life forever.
If I'm going to do
a message to the man of my dreams,
I should really sort my face out.
I never thought I would be
in an online relationship.
I love you
from the bottom of my heart.
So many people
told me he genuinely loves me.
How was I fooled by them?
What I wouldn't give to hold you.
I love you so much.
What was a lie?
I've been waiting every day
for you to come.
What was the truth?
I never doubted
the person that he really is.
I needed Bobby to see me face-to-face.
Can we go
right back to the start?
Tell me about
the first time you meet Bobby.
I first met Bobby in 2011...
...in the city on the south coast
of England called Brighton.
I was out
for my friend's hen weekend.
I was 32, in a long-term relationship.
All my friends are getting married,
and I just felt,
"When's it gonna be my turn?"
I want to dance, let off steam,
have a good laugh on the dance floor.
But then I see this tall man in a turban.
I'd been talking to him online
for the last few months.
His name's Bobby Jandu.
I'm just, like, shouting,
"Bobby! Bobby!"
And he was like, "Yes."
It was like...
He's acknowledged it was him.
And I'm like, "It's Kirat."
And he's like, "Who?"
And I was like, "Kirat. From Facebook."
"We've been talking."
But the music was loud, and I was like,
"Maybe he can't hear me properly,
and he's drinking."
So, I just assumed, like,
he was a bit smashed.
So I was like, "Do you know,
I don't want to embarrass him."
And I remember going back and saying,
"I can't believe
I've just bumped into him in Brighton."
I never mentioned it
to Bobby until many years later.
I just thought it wasn't a big deal.
I'm born and raised
in West London.
I've lived here all my life.
I'm a Punjabi Sikh woman.
My parents are born in Kenya.
And the Kenyan South Asian Sikh community
is very small, very tight.
And everyone knows everyone's business.
Bobby started messaging me
about four months
before I met him in Brighton.
I didn't automatically add people
on Facebook because they talked to me.
But we became friends on Facebook
because we had mutual connections.
Bobby's younger brother,
JJ, was dating my baby cousin, Simran.
They were both teenagers,
and I was giving them advice.
I've always tried
to be there for all my cousins.
Bobby comes from a well-respected family
in the Kenyan community.
He has quite
a hoity-toity kind of lifestyle.
A well-to-do lifestyle.
He's happily married.
He's based between Kenya and the UK.
And he's a cardiology consultant.
He was working all the time.
But around 2011,
I also had a lot going on.
If you wanna be big,
you need to get out there and perform.
I was progressing
with my marketing career.
I was doing huge events.
Festivals, music events.
Giving emerging artists a stage.
Over that period of time,
Bobby and I became good friends online.
I've got lots of male friends.
And Bobby and I seemed to have
a shared sense of being responsible people
within our own circles.
But after a while, things
started to go wrong in Bobby's life.
His wife cheated on him.
All I can do is be a shoulder for him.
But because he's sharing so much,
I ended up sharing a bit
about my own relationship as well.
I was 32, and me and my partner had been
together on and off since I was 18.
But as soon as we got close
to getting married,
he'd just get cold feet.
He'd disappear for a year.
And then, as soon as I kind of tried
to move on, he would reappear.
And I would always go back to him
because it was, like, that whole loyalty,
that whole... how I'd been brought up.
Marriage is a big deal
in our culture.
From a very young age,
I dreamed of getting married
and having a family early.
That's what matters to me
more than anything else.
There's a picture of me
as I think I was two.
My auntie dressed me up
in my mum's wedding outfit.
That's their hopes and dreams as well.
Marriage is important. I've always said,
"Kirat, look, you have to get married."
And every parent wishes
to be a grandparent, you know?
She had quite a number of proposals,
as soon as she came back from uni,
and she always declined.
It's not that we haven't helped.
It's for her to make up her mind.
I want to make sure she's happy.
But if the girl does not get married,
I think you're looked down upon.
And, erm, I think she feels pressure
from the community,
from the friends, from the families,
when they think,
"Oh my God. Why is she still not married?"
Kirat is my cousin, but really,
I think of her as my older sister.
Just someone that you can go to
for advice.
Not just me, but all of the cousins.
I've been with Kirat
when she's received comments, sort of,
"Have you found someone yet?"
Or, "Do you need us to find you someone?"
A couple of weddings,
I've been at the kids' table.
I would vent my frustrations with Bobby.
Bobby was the person saying,
"No, you're fine.
There's nothing wrong with you."
Over the next few months,
I didn't hear from Bobby.
And obviously,
I just thought, after his divorce,
he's getting on with his life.
And then he messages me out of the blue.
He's like, "Hey.
I've got something to tell you."
So...
Her name's Sanj.
I cannot imagine being happier
than I am with you.
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
Will you be my wife?
Is that a yes?
I was concerned
that it was a rebound
because it happened
within a year of breaking up with his ex.
But he seemed happy,
and as long as he was happy,
then who was I to say anything?
Bobby wanted me
to meet Sanj and get to know her.
And we became friends on Facebook.
I am invited to the wedding.
And due to family circumstances
at that time, I just couldn't go.
They got married
in Kenya in December 2012.
As time goes on,
I stay in touch with them.
The sounds of the 5 Rivers.
That is Desi Radio on 1602 AM.
Thursday is radio day.
My show is called the Bhangra Roadshow.
My name's Kirat.
I'm keeping you company until six o'clock.
...020 854 173.
I'll probably wait a few minutes
before I get round to your calls,
but I promise you, I will do my very best
to do so because all these people...
I'm doing my show.
Hello, Desi Radio.
And I've got Facebook open
'cause people message me. They shout out.
Okay, ji. Bye.
On my Facebook Feed,
Sanj has posted
a photo of Bobby with a comment,
saying Bobby's been shot
several times in Kenya.
He's in a critical condition,
and he's in a coma.
I feel sick seeing something like that.
And I was so worried about him.
But I've got a show I need to finish.
I've got listeners that I'm talking to,
and I've still got to carry on
and get through the show.
I'm fearing the worst.
Thankfully, my cousin Simran
is in Kenya as well.
Simran and Bobby's family
were old family friends,
so they were quite close.
She was providing me updates,
so that was helpful.
Bobby's in a serious condition.
All I can do is pray
that he makes it through.
My daughter Roshni
and I had popped round Kirat's house.
You could tell that she was quite upset,
and I said, "Are you okay?"
And she said, "No. Bobby's been shot."
It was just absolutely mental.
Like, so many questions
shoot through your head.
You're like, "Is he okay?
What's gonna happen now?"
I gave her a hug,
and she just let it all out.
She was crying,
and it was then that I realized
that even though their friendship
was on Facebook only,
it obviously was a very deep friendship.
I'd been friends
with Bobby for three years.
It's just sad
that I hadn't got to meet him again
before all this happened.
And then, one day, I'm at work.
I get a call from Simran...
...that changes everything.
Absolutely everything.
She tells me Bobby's in witness protection
in a hospital in New York,
recovering from his awful injuries.
Witness protection?
New York?
What is going on?
I didn't understand.
Ever wonder what happens
when you disappear in plain sight
with the help of the federal government?
Apparently, he was escorted from Nairobi
to New York with the support of Interpol.
It's a program
shrouded in secrecy,
run by the US Marshals Service.
Witnesses in danger are protected,
relocated, and given new identities.
It's just something
like out of a movie
and quite a hard thing
to get your head around.
I understood for someone
to be in witness protection,
there had to be
some kind of threat to life.
Bobby's from a well-known family,
and some of the photos and things
that I've seen online show wealth,
which is why he might be targeted.
Just in the last few minutes,
we have heard heavy gunfire.
People being shot
in Kenya wasn't unusual.
It's less common now,
but even in my own friends
and family circle,
people have been murdered or killed.
I just thought,
after the shooting incident,
his powerful family
had to get him out of danger.
Bobby messages me
but from a new Facebook profile.
He tells me that he's
in witness protection
because of a failed business deal
that he'd done.
And ultimately,
he was the one that paid the price.
I'm terrified,
because if anyone caught
him communicating with me,
I might put myself in danger.
But Bobby wasn't coping.
His mental health has deteriorated.
And, under the pressure
of everything that's happened...
Bobby and Sanj's marriage...
starts to fall apart.
And eventually end up getting divorced.
Bobby had nobody.
I'm really, really concerned.
He's clearly dealing
with a lot of negative things in his life.
I try to be there
for him as much as I can.
But then I have
a very horrible breakup with my partner.
After 18 years, we broke up for good.
And I was scared of
letting my parents down
and doing the wrong thing by them.
I felt very upset
because they had dreams together.
They were planning the wedding.
Kirat was thinking
that she's going to let us down
because we were always hoping
for her to just get married and settle.
I always say it's not her fault.
We are always there to support her.
I am distraught.
I'm 35 already.
Took away a massive part
of my future plan.
And it takes time to
come to terms with that.
But Bobby
would always check in on me,
even though he was struggling
with his health.
Bobby introduced me to a couple of
his friends and family online as well.
Somebody from witness protection
had okayed for him to talk to us.
There was a particular cousin
of Bobby's called Yashvir.
Everyone called him Yash.
Yash was a bit of a clown.
He was a bit of an entertainer.
We are constantly speaking to Bobby
to keep his spirits up in hospital.
There's another person
who I'm beginning to speak to a lot more.
His name's Rajvir.
Like Bobby, he's also a medic,
and he's managed to get himself
on the medical team
to help Bobby in witness protection.
He starts asking me a lot of questions
about things Bobby might have said to me
and how he's feeling
to check in on his mental health.
But he's also talking to Yash.
So eventually the three of us
set up a Facebook group.
We become the Three Amigos.
Bobby and I have been speaking
for four years now.
We've sent thousands of messages.
One day, he tells me...
he loves me.
Ugh, just... it was...
I totally ignored that comment.
I was adamant
he was not in the right headspace.
I know I wasn't in the right place
to start a new relationship.
Yashvir and Rajvir were both saying,
"No, he really loves you.
It's so obvious."
I was taking time to process everything,
when something happens.
He starts to experience
symptoms of a stroke.
And there's no reply.
Eventually, Rajvir shares
a picture of Bobby in his hospital bed.
It was just wires everywhere.
He asks me to record a farewell message.
He says, you know,
there's a chance that he can hear you.
I love you so much, Bobby.
Whatever it is we have,
it's special.
I wish things could have been different.
If I could just hold you once.
I'll never forget you.
I love you, Bobby.
I just can't believe
it took him being on his deathbed
for me to realize
that it was a special friendship.
Incredibly, he manages to pull through.
I just try to imagine
how he must be feeling,
being alone in a hospital,
where he didn't have people
he knew and loved around him.
Because of the stroke,
he was paralyzed on one side,
and he lost his voice.
But at that moment, he's alive.
Luckily, he had some movement,
so he's able to actually message me.
And on Valentine's Day, Bobby sends me
the first romantic message.
He says, "With a woman
like you in my life,
I really am the luckiest man
in the world."
"You should be told how amazing you are
every day, all year round,
my beautiful Kirat."
"I love you. Happy Valentine's Day."
From this moment on,
we're now in a relationship.
We're committed to each other.
And that means
I'm in it for the long haul.
Because if I commit, I commit.
Kirat mentioned about
her relationship with Bobby.
His family was quite popular,
very well-known.
I didn't know them personally,
but we knew the family was really good.
Kirat was quite confident
that what she knew about him was fine.
I said, "Do you really think
you want to go ahead
with, uh... with somebody
who's not very well?"
Kirat's answer was something can always
go wrong even once she's married,
so she wanted to move forward.
So, tell me...
what are you doing?
Like you'd do in a normal relationship,
you get to know each other better,
and we tried to make it
as normal as you can online.
I want you to make a big deal
about absolutely everything
because I want to hear every tiny detail.
His vocal cords were damaged,
so he couldn't speak at all.
It might be boring to you,
but for me, it makes me feel
like I'm a part of your life.
I'd record a voice note,
and he would reply, typing.
We started doing things like date nights.
You watching anything good?
We both supported the same football team,
Manchester United.
So, if you're well enough...
And we'd watch games online together.
This is very much
the nice honeymoon period.
I am falling in love with him, maybe.
But the only thing that I had
were old pictures of him online.
You make me smile every single day.
You make me feel loved every single day.
Is there a sexual side
to your relationship with Bobby?
Well, that's rather private.
Is that an appropriate question to ask?
Do you know
what I always think about?
What amazing stories
we're going to have to tell our babies.
Bobby had always wanted to be a dad.
We both knew
how much it meant to each of us.
We'd been together for three months.
His rehabilitation program was working.
Bobby has got hope.
I think some people would think,
"Oh my God,
you've still only met him
in person once in Brighton."
But I think with Bobby, I was thinking,
it's just nice
to have something I've never had,
which is that respect
and to be loved unconditionally.
That's how it felt.
Like, it didn't matter what I did,
Bobby was always there.
I love you from the bottom of my heart.
One day, while we're messing around
on a new feature on Facebook,
Bobby proposes to me.
I mean, it's quite an unusual way
to do it,
but I don't need
a big, extravagant proposal.
Of course, all girls dream of them,
but lots of things seem
like they're superficial and for show,
so an understated proposal is good enough.
Hey, sweets.
You believe it can happen?
Because I'm gonna cry.
At 36, the clock's still ticking,
and I want to have kids.
That's a big thing.
I thought to myself, "Yes. This could be."
So I said yes.
He's really, really keen.
Like, he's already looking
at wedding venues and outfits
and sending me
what he wanted to wear and everything.
He showed me a very bling ring.
"What do you think of this
as your engagement ring?"
It was very nice.
But for me, it wasn't practical
because I wanted to wear it all the time.
It had lots and lots
and lots of diamonds.
I told Rajvir about all the wedding stuff.
The proposal is unofficial
because the families haven't met,
but that promise has been made between us,
and that's still important.
Bobby and I discuss telling our families.
I was really nervous,
but I speak to my mum.
I was over the moon
because I was thinking,
"At last, Kirat is going to move forward."
But then I did mention, I said,
"This cannot go ahead
without your dad's permission."
Bobby did not want me
to tell anything to my husband
because Bobby wanted
to break the news himself
and give my husband a surprise.
He wanted to come all the way
from New York and see him face-to-face
and break the news to him.
With Bobby's family,
Bobby thought that being introduced
to his cousins first
was the best way to do it.
He set up a group.
I think there were about 30 of us.
Everyone was like,
"Hi, Kirat. It's so nice to meet you."
I felt really happy for her.
Like, this is my cousin.
Like, she's finally found
someone who is right for her. Like...
I was really looking forward
to meeting him.
Roshni also starts
talking to Bobby.
Hey, Bobby!
I miss talking to you. Well, Facebooking.
- You don't talk to him.
- Facebooking you. Same thing.
When Kirat was speaking to Bobby,
sometimes she'd send voice notes,
and I would be around,
so I would say some random stuff,
be playful, you know, like...
Hello, it's just me.
That was Roshni.
She's on my floor with me.
I was a classic teenager. Super angsty.
Bobby was a doctor.
So I started to speak
to Bobby about how I was feeling.
And he gives good advice,
and I feel like
I've been listened to and heard.
Instead of messaging,
Bobby and I had started using Skype.
Yes, you do.
Many times have I caught you out.
But because he was in witness protection,
we weren't allowed to video call.
It was just too risky.
Ooh!
Even though Bobby couldn't speak,
he would communicate
just by making some kind of noise,
whether it was a tap,
a grunt, or whatever it was.
And we'd just fall asleep
with the line... open.
Good morning, sweetheart.
We've been Skyping all night.
I stayed with you all night.
That was so lovely.
Eventually, we start speaking
on the phone.
With speech therapy,
he was able to whisper.
Like a hoarse whisper, like half a voice,
like this kind of thing,
but it's never ever
his normal, full voice ever again.
He constantly said how he hated his voice.
I had a couple of opportunities,
talking to Bobby on the phone,
and I found his voice very strange.
It was very squeaky.
Kirat was upset when I mentioned it.
She said, "Please don't judge him."
But despite this,
I was very happy for Kirat.
We did exchange text messages.
He used to talk about food,
and he would ask what did I make?
He said once they get married,
he'll be cooking for me, so I don't have...
I won't have to cook anymore.
The family
were really happy for her,
but obviously, being mid-30s,
the pressure was on her.
"So, when are we going to meet him?"
"And when are you
actually gonna get married?"
Bobby is still in New York,
in witness protection.
But not long after we get engaged,
it's Father's Day,
and he's received
an official-looking envelope.
And he says he's got something to tell me
and to brace myself.
Yeah.
I can't understand it because he's been...
divorced for such a long time.
He's basically forced
to admit to me that he's slept with her
on one occasion,
seven or eight months ago.
Before we got together.
I'm very aware of
the problems Sanj might create.
I don't want to feel
that I'm suddenly second best.
That I'm never gonna have you to myself.
I haven't had you to myself up till now.
It just felt... unfair.
Knowing how much I wanted to be a mum.
My cousin Simran
is helping me and supporting me.
I'd been conscious of
not speaking to her about things
because she's my baby cousin.
But the dynamic had obviously changed
because she's in her mid-20s now,
and she's known Bobby
far longer than I have.
And, poor Simran,
I am constantly messaging her.
No matter what Bobby did,
she's like, "He loves you."
"You know he loves you."
And I feel like...
...she's got that soft spot for Bobby.
For whatever reason.
After calming down,
I send quite a straightforward,
simple message to Bobby.
"Your baby, I can manage,
but I don't want Sanj in my life."
I was shocked, and I just couldn't believe
that Kirat was being so collected
about the whole thing and very trusting.
I think that was the moment
that I started having my doubts
about the whole relationship
between Bobby and Kirat.
I end up speaking
to Bobby's cousin, Kiran.
She's Yashvir's big sister,
and I have a lot of respect for her.
As a Punjabi Sikh woman,
she would understand that humiliation
of having to explain things to my family,
and, you know,
my family maybe going, "Just leave this."
And I don't want to tell
something like that to my mum.
Sanj gives birth to a baby boy
on 27 June 2015.
Bobby needed to make a choice.
I've put it to him that
he should go back to Sanj and end us.
But he wants to be with me.
He chooses me.
So we've got to make this work.
We can do this.
There's no point
in feeling anything about what's done.
He's here, and we just have
to show him that he's loved.
Bobby makes an effort
to include me in everything.
Have you decided on a name?
We'd spent a couple of nights
choosing names.
He really liked Jaivir.
We chose baby clothes,
and a couple of weeks later,
Bobby's now starting
to get pictures of his son.
It was nice to see that Sanj
actually put the clothes on him.
Do I need to come over there,
or are they gonna sort you out
to come here soon?
Eighteen months
into our relationship,
lots and lots of attempts
have been made to be together.
Rajvir has promised me he's gonna do
everything he can to make it happen.
But Bobby's in witness protection,
so there's a procedure
and a process they have to follow as well.
And all we've got to do
is wait this period out.
So, for the time being,
I ask Bobby for something that was his,
something that he'd touched.
So he's going to give me
one of his T-shirts.
And because Simran got
this new jet-setting job,
she's required to go
to a head office in New York.
He managed to get the nurse
to give his T-shirt to Simran,
and when she gets back,
I meet her to pick up the T-shirt.
Bobby had told me
he sprayed it with his aftershave,
so it's gonna stink
her whole suitcase out.
And I smelled the aftershave.
It was like, "Okay, he did it."
"She must be fuming."
Bobby made me feel loved.
And given the obstacles,
things were going well.
But despite this, there's only so much
you can live a relationship online.
You have to be with each other.
But there's always a reason
why he can't come.
It was really frustrating.
Do you know
how much I want to be with you?
Do you know
how much I want to look after you?
I was very disappointed
as well for him not turning up,
and I was trying
to console Kirat every time.
But then she wouldn't discuss
her feelings openly with me,
thinking that I would be upset
and distressed about all this.
I'd do anything.
The stress of the situation
is too much for him,
and things start
to feel different between us.
Because of the stroke,
Bobby's health was up and down,
and his mental health was fragile.
He started to lean on me quite a lot.
And I found myself walking on eggshells
because he was sensitive
to absolutely everything.
If I needed to go to the bathroom,
I didn't want to wake him up,
so, quietly, I'd just go.
He was like, "Where were you?"
If I wasn't on the other end
of the phone line, it upset him.
It was almost
like I needed his permission.
So every time I went to the bathroom,
I started telling him.
When I was there to hang out,
like, she would be on the phone to him.
She would be messaging him.
Like, he would
just be texting her, like, constantly.
It was like,
"I have only been here an hour,
and you've already had
several emergencies."
Every day, I'd get up
in the morning, take a selfie.
Send it to Bobby on Messenger.
I'd go to work.
Keep Facebook open for Bobby.
Drive home, eat dinner,
spend time with my family.
Then the Skype call would start.
Days all start gelling into one.
It was like he was attached to me.
It was like Bobby owned my time now.
Please, stop this.
Please.
I love you.
I noticed
that she's pulling away a lot from family.
From friends.
From me.
I'm really worried about her
at this point.
I can't face anybody at home.
I can't face work.
I... can't face anything.
On several occasions,
I've been tempted to disappear.
But if I tried to disappear,
then something would happen.
I feel like I need
to make sure that I don't upset him
because it might affect his health again.
I'd be talking to Yash, Bobby's cousin.
Bobby would get jealous and Bobby then
would be messaging me separately, saying,
angrily, like, "This is our time.
Why are you talking to him?"
I'm on the phone with one person,
then another is contacting me.
And they're messaging each other
while messaging me.
She was always told
where to go and where not to go.
She wasn't
her normal, lively self.
She stopped going out as such.
It was a total takeover of her life.
Everything was totally Bobby.
She doesn't have
the capacity for anything else.
She was not taking care of herself.
She was losing weight.
She looked like death.
Eventually, I'm made redundant
from my full-time marketing job,
and at the end of the year,
I don't even have a job.
And I'm doing one of
my final radio shows of the year,
and he's on the Skype call with me.
And I'm answering calls,
doing my thing as usual.
And he says I'm flirting.
Hi, Rajvir.
I don't know. I don't know.
He's accused me of flirting again.
He's a regular caller.
It's somebody who's been calling
for a year and a half, and he got angry.
At this point, they've all found
a reason to have a go at me.
So to prove, you know, I'm committed,
I'm loyal, so I give up my show.
I thought that was
a very controlling move.
And manipulative, I think.
Bobby always finds a way
to make me feel better.
He's sending flowers
and all sorts of gifts to Kirat regularly.
Thank you.
Here. I put them on for you
and took a picture.
When I mentioned
my doubts about Bobby,
Kirat used to get really upset
and emotional and say,
"We are gonna get married."
And that was the end of it.
It was really hard
to budge Kirat's decisions.
This thing has become
too important to fail.
I'm not 20-something.
If there's a chance this could still work,
I wanted it to work.
I have been waiting
every day for a yes, for you to come.
Finally, Bobby's
witness protection contract ends.
There is no excuse.
He has promised me he's coming to the UK.
I'm trying to stay positive,
but we get bad news.
My grandmother...
who I'm extremely close to...
...was sick.
We were told she could be dying.
We used to go there and, you know, sing.
She liked singing.
But because I was sleeping
on the phone with Bobby every night,
I couldn't stay the night with her.
My grandmother passes away.
And I really needed Bobby here
at this time.
One of her last days in the hospital,
she'd asked for my forgiveness
that she couldn't wait for Bobby to come.
And to see us married.
Bobby promised me, no matter what,
he will make it
for my grandmother's funeral.
And he didn't come.
With all these promises, all these plans
and everything just goes.
It hurts me.
It hurts me.
I'm just angry, and I want answers.
I absolutely lose it at Bobby.
I was screaming
at him on the phone saying,
"I don't care. I don't care.
Whatever happens, you come now."
"I don't need your presents, anything.
I just need you to come."
And literally, I'm giving him
an ultimatum.
I don't let him get a word in edgewise.
I was just... had it.
Finally...
Bobby tells me, "I'm coming tomorrow."
I'm now 39.
I'm scared of being disappointed.
But, at the same time,
relieved that he's finally coming.
I'm getting updates from his flight
for where his plane is in the air.
Even though it's been really messy...
this is it.
We'd always talked
about me meeting him at the airport,
but everything's been so intense.
We agree that Bobby
might need some time to settle back in
before he sees me.
He books himself into a hotel
in Kensington, near the hospital.
But after a couple of days...
I've still not seen Bobby.
From being relieved
that he's come to London,
thinking that finally
we can just get on with everything,
he's now again not seeing me.
My patience wears thin.
The excuses were so pathetic.
I'm angry, but I'm upset.
"It's happening again?"
I just needed him to see me face-to-face.
So I go to the hotel.
I give Bobby's full name.
And they can't find him.
And I say, "He's been staying here
for a couple of weeks at least now."
"Oh, there's nobody staying here
by this name."
My hands begin to shake
because I'm thinking
this is all another lie.
I call Simran.
You know, I don't know
who else to call by this time.
And she's, like, trying to say,
"Calm down. There must be a mistake."
And, erm, as I'm talking to her,
I get a call from Bobby.
I say to him, "I'm here
at the hotel. Just come downstairs."
He's like, "I've told reception
to not let anyone know that I'm here."
"Don't surprise me like that.
Just give me a couple of days."
I'm...
angry.
He's lying to me.
So I say to him,
"What the hell's going on?"
"You fucking don't show me your face
or want to see mine."
If you're here, why won't you see me?
I need an answer.
But then Bobby moves into the house that
I've known he's had in South Kensington.
So I go to find this house.
I say to him,
"I can't find your house."
"I can't see you.
I'm downstairs. I'm outside."
Bobby was like, "I can actually see you."
And he's telling me, "It's the end house."
"It's by the end house. It's this one,
but I don't want to see you."
I've got a gut feeling
that he's not even in Kensington.
Nothing makes sense.
And I'm questioning everything.
Everything I've seen online.
I don't know what the truth is anymore.
If he's not with me...
...he must be with Sanj.
She is the mother of Bobby's child.
I Googled Sanj.
Her number's there.
I call the number.
Sanj immediately answers...
..."Bobby, is that you?"
It sounded too natural and too normal.
Like she was expecting a call from Bobby.
And I just hung up.
So it's very clear to me
Bobby's still speaking to Sanj.
I feel like he's leading a double life.
I need to find out what is going on.
I remember when I had been doing
the family tree for Bobby,
I'd come across a postcode
for Sanj's parents' house.
Sanj leaves a house in front of me
and walks past my car.
And I remember one bit of me is so angry,
I want to just turn the engine on
just put my foot down on the accelerator.
But that's not me, and I was just so...
I was scared. I was so scared.
I was losing the will...
I... I was beginning
to not recognize myself.
And I do something really drastic,
and I just...
search "private investigator, London."
I ask for Bobby's current address.
That's all I ask for.
Within 24 hours,
I get an email saying,
"This is Bobby's current address."
And it's over an hour's drive from London,
in Brighton.
I was like, "Screw it. Let's just go."
I'm just watching Google Maps,
counting down the minutes.
I've got knots in my stomach.
I'm gearing myself up to see him.
I had to really control myself.
I ring the doorbell.
At first, I don't see anybody.
And on glancing past the driveway,
I see this woman walking away.
She turns around.
She makes eye contact.
And she starts
walking back towards the house.
We weren't expecting anybody.
So I dressed our son up
and then went downstairs.
There was a girl standing right there.
I'd never seen her in my life.
She says, "Hi, Bobby. It's me, Kirat."
My wife Sanj is like,
"Bobby, who is this?"
And, you know,
he just looked at me, and he said...
- "I have no idea."
- "I have no idea who this lady is."
"I've never spoken to her in my life."
The lady looks straight at me.
"Liar!" she says.
"Liar! How can you say this?"
"Why are you lying to me?"
"You've been talking to me for 8 years.
All the messages and all the calls."
He's done nothing
in the past that I shouldn't...
You know, that I sh... can't trust him for.
But who is she?
Why is she here?
I could just see her,
like, hyperventilating.
She's getting really agitated,
really anxious.
So I say to her, "You might be
confusing me for my younger brother JJ."
"We've often been confused
for one another."
"We look fairly similar."
And she says, erm, "No. Bobby Jandu."
And then she showed him
a picture of himself.
Then she looks directly at me,
makes eye contact, and says, "Sanj."
And then she points
at my son and says his name.
We needed to figure out
how she knew our names
and how she knew where we lived.
I've got my son just behind me,
and I'm starting to fear
how this could turn out
because we don't know
who this complete stranger is.
I've caught Bobby red-handed.
He's come to the UK for me,
and here he is with Sanj.
And he was acting
like he didn't know me.
That was even worse.
Everything around me was spinning.
The very fact that they were together...
...hurt.
But then my phone rings...
...and it's Bobby.
It's my face, but that's not my number.
And so he's like, "See?"
"That's not me calling you.
Somebody's pretending to be me."
And in my head, that's Sanj inside,
calling to prove something.
I'm scared.
You don't know what they're capable of.
I didn't know what to believe.
And it's at this point, she says...
"You talk to Simran all the time.
My cousin Simran." He was like...
"The only Simran I know
is this girl my brother dated."
So I called her, and I said,
"Sim, I'm with Bobby right now."
She says,
"He's denying everything."
I sort of interject,
"Can I please speak to Simran?"
"Simran, hi. This is Bobby here."
"I've got this lady outside my house,
claiming all these things,
that I've known her for years."
She says, "It's my cousin."
"She's just confused."
"Give her the phone back,
and I'll figure out what's going on."
Simran says, "Leave there, Kirat."
She says, "Just leave there."
My wife deadlocks the door, latch on,
makes sure the door is secure.
We're looking at each other,
and then there's...
...a bang on the door.
This time, I hear the chain unlock,
like I'm going to break their door down
or barge my way into their house.
She looks at Sanj and says,
"I know you're staying
at your parents' house in London
because I've seen you there
with your son."
Oh my God,
how long has she been watching me for?
Did she do that a lot?
And she mentioned that she felt
such a strong connection to Bobby's son.
And, uh, she had these presents
that she wanted to give to him.
She said something like,
"I have always felt he's my stepson."
This freaks me out
because we don't know
what she's capable of.
I just felt really scared.
I say, "Look, lady.
We're calling the police."
I was blinded by, like,
my rage and my tears.
I called Simran.
I was crying and...
screaming.
Simran's trying to keep me calm.
While I'm talking to her,
Bobby messages me.
And he says, "I'm so sorry.
You shouldn't have seen that."
But I was angry.
So angry at him.
For me, it's over.
It's a big betrayal of trust.
I didn't know
what was gonna happen to me now.
Were they gonna shame me?
Were they gonna turn on me?
Where did I stand in all of this?
What about my family?
When I wake up...
...Simran tells me
that she's spoken with Bobby,
and that they'd called the police.
I'm terrified of
whatever they might have said
because I haven't done anything.
And that scares me.
So I'm like, "I need to go to the police."
I'm in my room.
And I see a car pull up from the window.
Simran gets out of the car.
I've opened the door, and she says to me,
"I don't think I should come in."
And I've... She's got quite a serious face.
I'm like, "Why?"
She looks at me,
and she says, "It was all me."
"Well, what do you mean, 'It was all me'?"
She says...
"I... I'm Bobby."
I think slowly I'm registering she means
that she's been pretending to be Bobby.
But I can't quite understand,
and sh... I was, like, calling out names.
"What about Sanj?"
"What about Yash?"
"What about Rajvir?"
"What about... Kiran?"
"So-and-so?" She's like, "It's all me."
"It was me. It was me."
She's like, "I was all of them."
I suddenly question,
"Who have I been sleeping on the phone
with for the last three years?"
She says, "It was me."
I feel violated.
I want to be sick.
And I'm just screaming
at her like, just like,
"Why?" I just kept screaming.
"Why? Why did you do it?" and...
She... she's...
Like, she's ruined my whole life.
She's stolen the best years
of my life off of me.
And all she could say was
that I... I ruined my own life.
No expression. Nothing.
I received a message from Simran.
"It was basically me.
I don't know why I did it."
How... how can she pretend
to be me for so long?
And I'm... And she's...
she's a girl, doing it to her cousin.
None of it made any sense.
She goes on to say,
"I need counselling
to help me work through it all."
"I'm sorry for everything."
"If you would be willing
to deal with it without the police..."
Come on.
I respond, "I will not be hiding
anything from the police,
and thank you for coming clean."
"Good luck."
Brighton police station
call me to say
that Bobby told them
that he had a confession from Simran,
and that I had been a victim of a crime
and that I should report it
to my local police station.
But when I do,
the officer tells me I'm not a victim.
The real victims are
the real Bobby and the real Sanj.
And then I say to the officer,
"I don't know
how crudely to put this to you,
but say it was
an intimate situation with Bobby,
I haven't given any consent
to Simran to do anything with me,
to be anything with me."
"It's deception."
"It's manipulation."
The police aren't going
to investigate it,
so I had to eventually take matters
into my own hands.
I immediately started trying
to download evidence online.
I start to download Skype messages,
WhatsApp messages, images.
Collate everything
on a massive spreadsheet.
But I'm beginning
to see profiles disappear.
Simran created them all.
She's making them disappear.
And that's tampering with evidence.
I'm trying to take as many screenshots
as I can before they disappear.
I collect hundreds
of thousands of messages.
We're talking about ten years' worth.
When I think back to the club in Brighton,
when I bumped into Bobby,
which was the real Bobby,
that is a sliding-doors moment,
but there's so many moments like that.
I find out when Bobby's brother JJ
added me on Facebook,
it was actually Simran.
Simran had dated JJ in real life,
but they had broken up.
And the version of JJ
that I'd been introduced to was fake.
Starting from there,
every character connected to JJ, Bobby...
everybody is all Simran.
As I'm looking
into all these profiles...
some of them are real people
whose profiles had been duplicated.
And some of them are totally made up.
And some of them are just supporting
characters commenting on main characters.
The detail of the conversations,
it was so elaborate, so huge.
Both Bobby and Yash's
Facebook profiles had posts on them.
Like, they were active.
They were really there.
I shared information with Bobby,
thinking that he was
a medical practitioner.
I was underage at this time.
Like, that is sickening.
Ultimately, I find 60 profiles.
Sixty?
Sixty. Six-zero.
She had used all these different guises
to control me.
And hold my fears against me.
In pictures sent to me,
Bobby's son was wearing clothes
that we'd picked together.
Unbeknownst at the time to me,
those baby photos already existed
on the real Bobby's Facebook page.
Somehow, she had reverse-engineered it
to lead me to pick those clothes.
There's even been times
when I've been with Simran,
and she'd be fiddling on her smartwatch,
and I would get a message from Bobby.
Now I realize that she was messaging me
as Bobby while with me.
Simran went to extreme lengths
to deceive me.
This didn't just impact me,
it impacted my family.
Everyone who thought
they were speaking to Bobby,
they were all victims too.
I think "cruel" is a word
that I would use to describe Simran.
She's pushed
so many people through trauma.
It's just unbelievable
one person can do what they have.
Simran is someone who is
from the community, knows Bobby,
knows all these people,
and has all the tools
to create a massive web.
Simran knew that
if I had mentioned this to my husband,
he will definitely go
and visit the family in Kenya.
So I couldn't even
talk openly to my husband.
She tricked all of us.
I'd never even heard of catfishing before.
Catfishing should be made a crime,
you know.
Why it happened, how it happened,
without my knowledge.
I just want to ask Simran,
why did she do this to Kirat?
Did Kirat upset her in any way?
I want an answer from Simran.
I think one of the reasons she did it
was to feel a sense of power,
to feel like she was controlling
everything around her.
Like, that's pretty damn sick.
I was targeted just
for somebody's entertainment, I think.
When somebody who knows you
does this to you,
you haven't got a hope in hell.
I get a call
from a lawyer working with Kirat.
He gives me this folder about this thick,
with details of this huge,
elaborate scheme
to convince Kirat that there is
a fake version of me out there
who is extraordinarily extravagant.
But we're just a normal family
with a very ordinary lifestyle.
That moment was even more shocking
than the morning that Simran confessed.
My name's Kirat.
I'm keeping you company
until six o'clock today.
Catfishing, it's, like, a pop-culture term
where it's a bit of fun.
It's entertainment for the onlookers.
I want to help break the stigma,
to stop victims from being shamed.
But we need to understand
why the Internet should be regulated.
I'm not looking for sympathy.
I'm looking for people to say,
"This is wrong."
"We need to be making people accountable."
I am now 44,
and I am doing my utmost
to get my life to where it should be.
Will I ever be a mum?
You know, at my age now,
it's a massive question mark.
But I've got
to be responsible for my future.
Simran never will be.