The Fabulous Four (2024) Movie Script

1
LOU: When did we first meet,
Marilyn and me?
First year of college.
She was wild and wonderful.
I was as serious
as a heart attack.
She made me laugh
until I cried,
and I made her study
for her exams.
After graduation,
we moved to New York.
We shared a tiny apartment.
Our next door neighbors
were Alice,
who was singing in
a band downtown,
and Kitty,
who planned on
saving the world
one plant at a time.
We had crazy adventures,
shared our deepest secrets
and our dreams for the future.
We thought we would be best
friends forever.
MARILYN: Goodbye, house.
Are you ready, Mom?
Stop! Wait! Let me get it.
Thank you, honey.
Oh, my goodness.
Big day, huh?
Oh, a big day.
Oh, boy.
(SIGHS) I know.
Wait, are you taking Dad's
ashes as your carry-on?
Well, I can't put him
in the hold, can I?
I booked him a window seat.
He's going to love that.
(CHUCKLING) Oh, my God.
They did a nice job,
didn't they, honey?
It's so perfect for Key West.
-Isn't it?
-(CHUCKLES)
Well, your dad
was perfect.
-He was.
-He was.
I know how you are about
getting to the airport
three hours early.
-(LAUGHS) Okay.
-Seatbelts, please.
(SIREN WAILING)
LOU: Rhonda.
Thank you for coming in
on such short notice.
Sure. Arthur's done
thousands of these things.
Why do you need
to replace him?
The truth is,
I'm worried about him.
Something's off.
ARTHUR: I don't know why
it's not working.
NURSE: I think
you should wait, Doctor.
LOU: Yeah,
I'll take it from here.
Thank you, Dr. Ashie.
All right, inject the dye.
(MONITOR BEEPING)
There we go.
Look at those arteries.
WOMAN ON PA:
Can Dr. Vincent please
come to Emergency?
Lou, thank you again.
I've seen this happen before.
I mean,
even the best surgeons
can't slow old age.
Had to tell Arthur
it is time for him to retire.
How did he take that?
How are you feeling, Lou?
Oh, fine.
(STAMMERS) I'm great.
I'm great.
I... You know,
swimming every other day,
and then I do hot yoga
in between.
15,000 steps,
I feel strong.
Oh, wow. That sounds like
you're really getting in it...
And, you know, for my brain,
I always try to learn a new
language every other year.
I'm working on Portuguese
right now.
-Oh.
-(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
That was Italian for
"Why do you ask?"
Thanks again.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING)
This song's boring
Good thing you're cute
Okay, I'm out
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go
Let's go.
Can we just do one boring
the way it was written?
You know what?
I feel like I've got
a better idea.
Oh, my God,
you're such a ham.
-Get in!
-Do you see anyone?
-Come on!
-(SCREAMS PLAYFULLY)
-(RATTLING)
-(ALICE LAUGHING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hey, Marilyn.
How are you, my girl?
Alice, I'm fine!
Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry I haven't
talked to you in ages.
(CHAIR VIBRATING)
This move down to Key West,
it's been a whirlwind,
a whirlwind.
I love that
you moved to Key West!
What's it like?
Should I move there? I mean...
-I feel like I've been
stuck in New York.
-(VIBRATING INTENSIFIES)
Although I did go out
on tour with Bruno Mars.
I did this thing in Vegas
with Gaga for six weeks.
Honey, what is the deal
with Vegas?
I don't get it, it's gross.
-But you're not gonna
believe this...
-(BEEPS)
(VIBRATING SLOWS AND STOPS)
So how have you been,
sweetheart?
Are you tearing it up?
Marilyn?
Hey, Alice, Alice?
Oh, yeah, I was saying...
Well, I'm calling with news.
I'm getting married!
Oh, my God. What?
Are you kidding?
We were going to wait
until the fall,
but we've decided
to push it forward.
Like, next weekend.
(LAUGHS)
-Well...
-Yeah, I know. I know.
I know John's only been gone
for about six months.
Six months!
(SCOFFS) Please,
six months is a lifetime.
I mean, how long are you
supposed to wait?
Oh, my God, Alice,
thank you. Thank you.
I knew you would understand.
My daughter thinks I'm
rushing into things.
She's refusing to come.
So, do you think...
Do you think you'd be able to
-maybe...
-Are you kidding me?
Yes, I'm coming,
and I'm bringing Kitty.
-Bachelorette party.
-Oh, Alice.
Ooh!
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
The girls are
gonna be reunited.
You will?
Oh, my goodness. Lou too?
Probably not Lou.
Oh. Oh.
Not Lou. Oh.
Gee, I miss her.
I wish I could
just talk to her.
Alice, she was my
best friend, and she
kicked me to the curb.
I know, honey,
but Lou loves you.
I know she does.
She just...
You know, she's been busy.
I just wish I could
have her back
-in my life again.
-(SIGHS)
Oh, well,
you're staunch, Alice.
Thanks a lot.
All right,
can't wait to see you.
-Bye.
-You too, beautiful.
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
KITTY: Children,
come on in here.
Grandy, are you
going to hell?
Bobby!
Why would I be
going to hell?
And who told you that?
Mommy.
Leslie, would you please
make sure you tell Nathan
to be here tomorrow
to help me harvest
the rest of these buds?
He can't, Ma.
Nathan moved out.
Wait, you're going to tell me
my grandson
moved out overnight
without telling me?
What's really
going on here, Leslie?
And why the hell would you
tell my grandbabies
I'm going to hell?
They must have
overheard me talking
to the pastor at church.
So you told the pastor
that I was going to hell?
Ma, we need to talk.
Okay, fine.
Let's talk.
LESLIE: Mama, I want
to show you this.
My church has a new
retirement home
for people over 60.
It says, look,
you can age in place.
And why would I
want to do that?
That's how people grow old.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
(HORN HONKS)
My daughter...
(SHUDDERS) wants to put me
in an old folks' home.
I mean,
can you believe that?
-About Leslie?
-Mm-hmm.
I mean, yeah.
Heaven's Gate!
More like "Hell on Earth."
Do I look like I need
assistance living?
Oh, my God!
-Take a look.
-Okay.
Hmm.
Well, it looks fun.
Oh, come on.
Well, it's all pink
and blue and Jesus-y.
And you know the real reason
she wants me off this farm?
Because she's a bitch.
It's because her mother...
That's you.
...a successful organic
cannabis farmer
is an embarrassment to her
in front of her church.
Gross.
But, I mean, does this
look like a sin to you?
Oh...
I'm telling you,
my gummies...
are a near-religious
experience.
Why don't you let me decide?
So, I got news for ya.
I'm gonna need you
to pack your bags because
we're going to Key West.
-Key West.
-(CHUCKLES)
Marilyn.
And her wedding.
To the DMV guy, Bradley?
Oh!
And Lou's going with us.
Huh?
Lou.
Oh, come on now.
You know what happened
the last time we tried to get
those two together?
I'm still scarred.
We got to get the old
gang back together
before we're all 500.
-Oh!
-There's something that I didn't
want to have to tell you.
(SIGHS)
It's also an intervention.
No.
Yep.
I'm afraid it's bad news.
Marilyn's on TikTok.
Mm-mmm.
Yep.
Tell me
she doesn't dance.
Emotionally prepare yourself.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
OVER PHONE)
KITTY: Oh, poor Marilyn.
ALICE: I know.
Really, I mean...
KITTY: She must have had
a complete breakdown
after John died.
I mean... (SCOFFS)
John's in this one,
so I think she's been
doing it for a hot minute.
KITTY: Look at John's face.
Oh, there it is!
That's the move
that killed him.
(LAUGHS)
I can't watch this.
I can't watch that. No.
-It's too much.
-Oh, my God. I can't.
I can't. I can't.
-I can't.
-I gotta stop... (LAUGHING)
-Stop it.
-I can't stop laughing.
Kitty!
-Oh, yes. Yes.
-We got to do this, right?
-We have got to do this--
-With Lou.
With Lou! Yes.
And how are we going
to do this with Lou?
-Well...
-Uh-huh.
Now be careful with that.
I'm never careful.
We're going to have to get...
-Uh-huh.
-...creative.
Oh!
Mmm!
I could do four of those.
Girl.
Okay, so you know
what you're going
to say, right?
You relax.
Sit back. Relax.
Leave it to me.
I got this, okay?
Okay, who died?
Marilyn died.
We have to go to her funeral.
-What?
-Marilyn did not die. Alice!
-I'm drunk.
-I will handle this.
What do you mean,
"handle it"? What?
Kitty has something
she wants to say.
Look, I don't have
that much time.
I'm on my way to a meeting.
Make it fast.
This is my boss, right here.
Say hi to Rhonda.
-Hi.
-Hi, Rhonda.
Okay, so now,
what is it? Shoot.
I know that you are familiar
with Ernest Hemingway.
-He's one of my
favorite writers.
-Well...
At the Hemingway House
in beautiful
Key West, Florida.
LOU: Sure, the polydactyl cats.
I know, I watch them
on my cat cam.
This one, Snowball,
is like a big deal.
-He was Hemingway's
first polydactyl.
-Tell me about it.
Amazing.
Anyhoo. Keep going.
Yeah, and I know this
is going to sound crazy.
There has been an explosion
-of six-toed cats at the
Hemingway House.
-Yes.
ALICE: It's, um... It's...
It's apocalyptic.
Yes, almost at plague levels.
What happened?
-KITTY: Well...
-What did happen?
They tried new food.
They tried new food.
-Mm-hmm.
-Consequently,
they are having a, um...
-Raffle.
-Ah.
(STAMMERS)
A cat raffle.
A cat raffle,
and you will never
guess what.
-But we submitted...
-Yeah. You.
KITTY: And you won
a Hemingway cat.
Hey, do you want
a six-toed cat or what?
What?
-No! What!
-Yes!
I love six-toed cats.
Yes, but you must be
in Key West, Florida
next weekend
in order to claim your cat.
Oh.
I can't, I'd have to find
someone to watch the girls.
I can't just leave Vivienne
and Victoria by themselves
for a whole weekend.
Vivienne and Victoria?
Are they patients?
-They're her cats.
-My cats, yeah.
I love cats.
Yeah?
Just leave me a key
and I'll make sure
that they're fed.
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
-Wow.
-LOU: I can't believe it.
-Can hardly believe it myself.
-Wow!
That's a... Let's go!
ALICE: Quick question.
Are there sniffer dogs
at the Key West airport?
Probably. Why?
Mmm, I don't know,
I was just...
I was just thinking.
-Alice?
-Yeah.
Are you smuggling drugs
on this plane?
Kitty, I can't believe
you would even think that,
but yes, I am.
Took some edibles,
a couple of nugs,
a vape pen.
It's hardly anything.
-A champagne, please.
-And a tiny bit of weed.
-(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
-It would really hit the spot.
Dementia, she'll be fine.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
Where'd you put it?
-Oh, it's in my vagina.
-Oh, God!
Hey, hi, guys.
-Hi.
-I'm so excited.
-Hi, Lou.
-LOU: This is
the best trip ever.
-There's a cat carrier.
-Oh, my God, she's smiling.
MAN: Excuse me.
-Is that what that was?
-Oh, ho-ho.
I have not seen her
that happy since 1982.
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
WOMAN: Bachelorette party!
(WHOOPS AND LAUGHS)
I'm sorry.
-It's my weekend.
-Hi.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
-Okay.
-Okay...
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't have any space,
and I was hoping nobody
was sitting there.
I'll just check...
Oh, thank you.
It's empty. Here, Brandon.
Right, well, I'm picking up
a cat that I won.
It has, like, between
six and seven appendages
on each paw.
-That's horrible.
-Oh, no, it's fabulous.
Polydactyl cats can always
lead a very normal life.
In fact,
he has talents because
it enables them to jump
and to hold on and cling
and also have balance.
So they first came
to the East Coast in ships,
into ports and ships,
you know.
-Immigrants.
-Slaves.
Yeah, slave cat immigrant,
yeah, kind of...
I offered her some of my
frequent flyer points,
you know,
so she could sit up
front with us.
But she said no,
she's just so stubborn.
She's a woman
of the people.
I mean,
that would have been
my last good deed
before she kills us all
when she finds out the truth.
WOMAN: We have to go
to the strip club first.
It's a bachelorette party,
after all.
-Key lime pie.
-Key West key lime pie?
(ALL CHEERING)
-(GASPS)
-Whoa.
-That's okay.
-I'm so sorry.
It's okay. I'm prepared.
Don't touch me.
I'm prepared.
This is rude.
This is rude of us.
I am so sorry.
We've been
sitting here talking.
I'm Shivani,
this is Sheila and Brandon.
Hi.
Hi, guys, well,
I'm Dr. Louise Zebarski and...
-Ooh.
-Yeah.
-Cute.
-Prescription?
No, no, I'm a heart doctor,
I don't give drugs.
Oh, get a selfie
with all of us.
-Ooh, yes.
-You, me and Dr. Zerbini.
-BRANDON: Yes.
-Yes!
Okay.
-(RUMBLING)
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
BRANDON: Oh, my God,
I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, no. Oh, my God,
you're gonna
smell of beer.
It's okay.
Drink. Drink.
Do you want some of my...
I can get it out.
-I mean...
-Stop it.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
I won a six-toed cat.
Yeah, and these
are my best friends,
you know, of my whole life,
and they entered me
in a lottery and I won it.
And I have never won
anything in my whole life.
I'm so excited.
I'm sure
you already know this,
but Hemingway's first
six-toed cat
was named Snowball.
Maybe Hemingway House
is still open.
So can we just go
straight there, driver?
-No! No.
-No! No.
-Why?
-Because your cat,
-your very special cat...
-So special.
-...will not be ready.
-Really? Why?
Because...
Yeah?
-They're training it to sit.
-That's it!
-(SPUTTERS)
-LOU: Wow. Well, I thought
they did that naturally.
Well, whatever,
I can't wait to meet them.
-Yeah.
-Where are we staying,
by the way?
KITTY: Wow. Have we got
a surprise for you.
LOU: Whoa, how much
are we paying for this B&B?
-ALICE: There she is!
-Look at us!
The old gang
back together again.
Oh, my God!
KITTY: Marilyn.
ALICE: Hi.
Oh, you look
absolutely marvelous.
And that hair.
Ooh, even in the back, girl.
Looking good.
-I just woke up
with it like this.
-She's got those hot rollers.
You're damn right I do.
Come here, you.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Is that you?
Oh, my God,
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
I'm so glad you're here.
(SOBBING HAPPILY)
I'm so glad you came.
I'm so glad.
Oh, thank you.
(SNIFFING)
What's that smell?
She, uh... Lou had a little
accident on the plane.
(WHISPERS)
What are you talking about?
Oh.
Well, we don't
have to talk about that.
You know, it's very common
when you get to our age,
especially, you know,
if you're a heavy drinker.
I'm not a heavy drinker.
Well, do you do
pelvic floor exercises?
No!
That can help
with incontinence.
-I'm not incontinent.
-Well...
You know what,
we don't have to
talk about it.
I'll lend you my Kegel ball.
-Okay, come on. Let's go!
-LOU: No, it's okay.
No! It's okay.
-I'm going to keep it.
-Let go, Lou, let go. Come on.
Bradley's making himself
scarce so we can
have some girl time.
Welcome.
Welcome to my home.
It's a smart house.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, she has a piano,
and a pool.
Oh!
My, my, my,
look at this house.
Oh, and this view.
Isn't it glorious?
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, look,
I have an app on my iPad
so I can make it change colors.
Watch this. Ha-ha.
Oh.
No, that's the fountain.
(CHUCKLES)
No, no, no,
that's not it either.
Stupid smart house.
-Oh!
-MARILYN: Oh, dear.
-(BEEPS)
-(LAUGHS)
MARILYN: Oh.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
-MARILYN: No!
-It's like a theme park
around here.
Oh! Oh! I have a surprise
for everybody.
Except you, Lou.
I didn't know you were coming,
but I'll make it up to you,
I will. Come on, girls.
One for you.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome, my dear.
-And, one for you.
-Oh!
Uh, open your boxes.
Oh, oh, wait!
-I'm gonna make a TikTok
video out of this.
-What?
Okay.
Go ahead, open the box.
Okay.
-(PARTY HORN BLARES)
-(LAUGHING)
MARILYN: Read what it says.
KITTY: Okay.
-Come on, Alice, your turn.
-All right.
(PARTY HORN BLARES)
(LAUGHING)
Read what it says.
Read what it says.
Okay.
Aw, that's sweet.
(CHUCKLES)
-Oh, out loud?
-MARILYN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's see.
"Will you be my...
"maid?"
-Yes.
-What? What did you say?
You silly!
-Not "maid."
-No.
Will you be my bridesmaid?
(NERVOUSLY) Mmm.
Bridesmaid?
My bridesmaid.
Will you be my bridesmaid?
ALICE: Oh, whee! Yay!
All right. Kitty,
can I talk to you
for a minute, please?
Go on. Go on.
Have a great time.
Oh, I think I need
another take on that.
That was... That was
too sloppy to post.
Let's do another one.
Let me pick up all
the confetti first, though.
-(WHISPERING)
Marilyn's getting married?
-(PARTY HORN BLARES)
Yes, and we knew
that if we told you,
you wouldn't come.
Of course I wouldn't come.
His name is Bradley.
-They met at the DMV
two months after John died.-
-Oh!
Two months?
Okay, so she got
out there kind of quick.
Yeah, it takes
longer to cancel
a gym membership.
Look, Lou, Marilyn is
not as strong as you are.
-She needs a husband,
a partner, somebody.
-MARILYN: Girls,
-you forgot your champagne.
-Oh.
To me.
-Congratulations, Marilyn.
-MARILYN: Aww.
(SOFTLY)
Yay! Yippee!
Kitty, I have
the most beautiful room
for you. Come see.
-Try to forgive her.
-No, don't leave me.
-Hey.
-Talk!
Come on, man.
Marilyn's getting married.
I mean, we had to
get you here somehow.
So does that mean
there's no cat?
Define "no cat."
Lou! You are not leaving.
Why should I stay?
I don't have
any friends here.
You guys lied to me.
You and Marilyn need to talk
before it's too late.
No, I don't have
anything to talk about.
I'm over it, okay?
Then why are you sweating
like a cat in a room full
of rocking chairs?
Because I'm hot, because I'm
wearing polyester underwear,
and lastly, because
there's a huge reminder
of how John and Marilyn
betrayed me,
hanging over
the fucking bed.
Well...
Oh.
What's this?
The Kegel ball
that Marilyn left for me.
And what do you do with it?
You shove it up your vagina.
Yes, but does it vibrate?
That I do not know.
Well, that's too bad.
Come on, Lou.
Please don't go.
We need this.
We all need to reconnect
and create new memories
together. Please?
Look, I will switch
pictures with you.
I just have kissing
dolphins above my bed.
Wow.
-MARILYN: Girls. Hey, girls.
You settling in okay?
-Shh.
Girls, we don't want to be late.
For what?
Oh, got another
surprise for you.
-(LAUGHS)
-I don't want to give it away.
Oh, my gosh,
I can't believe you're here.
I'm so happy.
Oh, my darlings.
Oh, my goodness me.
Oh, and Lou. Lou,
thank you so much
for coming.
It's been such a long time.
-We used to be so close.
-Yes.
How did we drift apart?
It makes no sense.
It's a mystery.
-Not really.
-Really?
-No.
-(GASPS)
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry,
I totally forgot
that was there.
Well, don't worry,
we're just going to
swap pictures.
Oh, thank God,
crisis averted.
Okay, all right, now.
Here you go, darling.
This is fantastic.
Don't forget to use it
tonight, okay?
Thank you so much.
You're so welcome.
See you in a bit.
ALICE: Mmm. Oh.
Oh.
-Oh, yeah.
-(KITTY HUMMING)
-ALICE: Oh, um...
-(PHONE VIBRATING)
Ooh, Kitty,
it's your darling little
daughter Leslie calling.
Oh, God.
-Should I get it?
-Absolutely not.
-No?
-KITTY: No!
You know how she disapproves
of your slutty lifestyle.
Oh, thank you.
-She swears
you're going to hell.
-I am.
KITTY: And that is why
I have told her
that I am going on
a Christian woman's
yoga retreat, with Lou.
I'm an atheist.
She bought that?
I don't know,
I wrote her a note
and then I left.
Hey, girls, get out your
handkerchiefs, I'm coming out.
Lou, grab my phone.
I want to make a video.
-Lou, grab my phone.
-LOU: Okay.
Okay, give me a medium shot.
-We'll do the wide shot later.
-Okay. Okay.
MARILYN: And action!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
All right. I got it.
Yes, people. All of you out
there at Worldwide TikTok,
you got the big reveal.
(LAUGHING)
My girls.
My girls.
Oh, I love you...
Oh, my God, my girls,
you are the greatest.
So I forgot to tell you.
There's a little dance
we're going to do
at the reception.
All of us.
Oh, it's really easy.
Watch this. Okay.
Right, right, left, left.
Jump! Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
Jump! Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
Feel your body, feel your body,
feel your body.
Gangsta arms, gangsta arms,
gangsta arms, gangsta arms!
Jump that body.
(PANTING)
Jump! Jump!
And finito.
-What do you think?
-(NERVOUSLY) Oh, fun.
Well, it's for my TikTok!
Everybody on there dances.
How many followers
do you have?
Oh, a few, but I get
more every single day.
I thought you
didn't like technology.
Well, then TikTok
came along.
I tell you,
it is wonderful
for women our age.
Now, to the more
important question.
What do you think
of the dress?
-Oh!
-It's wonderful, Marilyn.
-Kitty, thank you.
You look like
a fluffy Cinderella.,
(LAUGHS) You don't think
it's too much?
You're getting married
for the second time
in 48 years.
-You can do
whatever you want.
-Yes.
Lou, what do you think?
I think you should
stay away from
an open flame.
(LAUGHS)
That's priceless.
Ah, same old Lou.
Well, you know, I didn't
get to wear a proper wedding
dress the very first time.
John and I eloped, remember?
Lou!
LOU: I'm going to the bathroom.
MARILYN: Lou.
-Okay. Flowers.
-Try the flowers.
-There you go.
-Oh, God,
what have I done?
-KITTY: You look good, girl.
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-Yeah.
-You think I hurt her?
Oh, dear.
I did it again.
Hail Satan!
LESLIE:
Mom! Oh, my goodness!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LOU: Taxi!
MAN: Whoa! Watch out!
LOU: Oh!
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
Can you move your ankle?
MAN: Yeah.
LOU: I think you're bleeding.
What about your elbow?
Is your elbow okay?
Oh, my God,
your heart is pounding.
Oh.
Uh...
Are you... Uh...
Are you hurt?
Just my pride.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm Ted.
Oh, Louise... Lou!
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah, well,
maybe not so much.
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
So many chickens.
Why all the chickens?
Well, it's Key West here.
They're everywhere.
I have no idea why.
But this one...
Ooh.
-Well, he's gorgeous.
-Wow.
-He is so handsome.
-Yeah.
LOU: Oh! Oh! Oh, my goodness.
Oh. Yes, bye!
-(CLATTERS)
-LOU: Oh!
Hey! Somebody stop that kid!
He stole my bike!
(BYSTANDERS EXCLAIMING)
-(ALL GASPING)
-WOMAN: I can't believe
that guy!
(GRUNTS)
(BYSTANDERS EXCLAIMING)
BRANDON:
Crime doesn't pay.
-It's Dr. Zebeki!
-Yeah, we know her.
-Oh, my God.
-We know her.
That's our friend.
That was amazing.
(ALL CHEERING)
I don't know what to say.
(LAUGHING) I don't either.
I... Yeah, I've never used
that weapon before.
So are you local or...
No, I'm visiting a friend.
Well, I... I owe you. Um...
This is my bar, Old Brute.
Stop by anytime.
Anything you want,
on the house.
-Thanks so much.
-Yeah, sure.
Old Brute?
(GASPS) Hemingway.
Ernest Hemingway's nickname.
It's Key West.
It's all about Hemingway
down here.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Well, thank you, Lou.
-Ted.
-Stop by.
-Okay.
-Okay.
Thanks.
Oh, my God.
-Lou, right?
-Yes.
Lou, what were you
doing outside?
I was just
breathing the air.
Kitty and Alice
are getting changed...
Wow, look at you.
Are you okay?
Your face is bright red
and your neck is all sweaty.
You're not having
a stroke, are you?
(CHUCKLES) No.
No, I'm just excited.
-Huh?
-I used your Kegel ball.
-What?
-Mm-hmm.
-When?
-Just now, outside.
-Outside? On Duval Street?
-Yeah.
-And a lot of
people applauded.
-Huh?
And I think someone
might have even been
videotaping me.
Oh, my word.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, my God.
(GASPS) Well, do you feel
like it gave you a little
strength in your... (HUMS)
Well, it definitely...
improved my aim.
Wow, that conjures up
such a vision.
(LOU BLOWS KISSES)
Yes, it's Mama.
Put her...
Put her closer to the phone.
-Sweetie?
-RHONDA: Okay.
Yes, over here. That's right.
Don't you start getting
aggressive just 'cause
I'm not there.
Okay, honey. That's...
Aren't they sad, Rhonda?
Are they really sad?
-Oh, no.
-They're good?
Are they eating?
-Oh, hi, Victoria.
-MARILYN: Lou?
That's it. Okay,
I'll see you guys...
-MARILYN: Lou?
-Oh.
All right, bye.
Come in.
Are you happy for me, Lou?
Yep.
You haven't once
asked me about Bradley.
Who?
Bradley, my fiance.
The man I'm marrying
on Friday.
Oh, Bradley. Right.
Okay, um, so...
How long were you guys
going out before he
asked you to marry him?
Oh, well...
(CLEARS THROAT)
He didn't really ask me.
(CHUCKLES) Um...
We were out
to dinner one night,
and we were talking
about our spouses,
and we were talking
about marriage
and how strange it is
not to be married anymore,
and how lonely...
And I don't know,
the wine was flowing,
the music was playing,
and we just decided
to hold hands and jump
into the unknown.
Okay.
-Okay?
-Yeah, okay.
-What does that mean?
-It means...
okay. It means okay.
Okay? Huh.
It must mean something.
No, it doesn't mean
something else.
It means okay,
and it means,
you know, I'm tired,
and I just...
I have to get ready for bed.
Okay. All right,
you get ready for bed,
and I will see you tomorrow
for a big, big day.
Big day? What big day?
MARILYN:
Welcome to Key West.
Duval Street.
We're in the South.
Chickens! (LAUGHS)
-Sloppy joes!
-(TROLLEY BELL DINGS)
More chickens!
Tourists!
Bachelorettes behaving badly.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, my goodness,
what a great town.
-I say cheers.
-(HORN PLAYS
HERE COMES THE BRIDE)
Cheers.
Thank you, thank you.
Beer, mimosas?
Get you anything else?
You know,
your phone number?
-(GIGGLES)
-Okay.
He could be your grandson.
-Yeah.
-Heck, he could be
my grandson.
-WOMAN: Have a great wedding.
-Oh, yeah.
ALICE: Speaking of grandsons,
have you seen Nathan's
Instagram lately?
I do not have time
for social media.
Okay. Yeah.
But do you remember
when he was little?
You used to
change his diapers,
and he had that cute little
birthmark on his butt.
The shape of a seahorse.
-Yeah.
-Mmm.
-He still has it.
-Say what?
Oh, my God,
it's her, the doctor.
-Doctor!
-Doctor!
Dr. Zabusi!
MARILYN: Do you know
those people?
SHIVANI: Yes, Louise!
-Yeah.
-You do?
Louise, I know
you hear me, girl.
LOU: I met them on the plane.
-We love you, Lou!
-Hey, Lou-Lou!
-Are they patients of yours?
-No.
DRIVER:
So where do you want
my digits, girl?
Do your worst.
Okay.
-Oh...
-(PHONE VIBRATING)
Those are my favorite
numbers. (CACKLES)
It's my daughter
calling again.
Yes. Okay.
KITTY: What am I going to do?
ALICE: Ew, don't answer it.
That poor girl.
I am worried about her.
I don't feel sorry
for her at all.
Didn't she join some weird
church after her divorce?
Church. Cult. I don't know,
but you know,
loss of love, lack of love,
makes some of us
do some crazy things.
But they say,
time heals all wounds.
I think it depends
on the size of the wound,
don't you?
-Ooh!
-Hi!
Here we are.
-MARILYN: Hi, Ernie.
-Marilyn, great to see you.
Look at you,
the blushing bride.
MARILYN: My girls are
so excited, they've never
done this before.
-I'm not doing it.
-What?
-ERNIE: Grab yourself
a lifejacket.
-Why?
Because I get...
I get seasick.
Seasick?
Well, have I got a
seasickness cure for you.
All-American chocolate.
I didn't know that
you could use chocolate
for seasickness.
I cannot believe
you didn't know that.
My God.
And you call yourself
a doctor? (SCOFFS)
You look good
in that color, hon.
-Thank you, darling.
-So welcome.
-Thank you.
-And we're off to the races.
-ERNIE: Yes!
-There you go...
Oh.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
ERNIE: Okay,
hold on tight, ladies.
I don't think you
should be doing this.
(ALL CHEERING)
And up you go!
Throttle up, Steven.
(ALL LAUGHING AND WHOOPING)
Hey, Ernie!
-What's shaking, baby?
-(LAUGHS)
How about you, Louise?
Want to go up next?
No. No, thanks. I'm good.
I'm just going to pick a spot
on the horizon right here.
And just stare. Look at...
Whoa. Steady there.
Oh! Oh, whoops.
I think you better
sit down.
LOU: I'm so sorry. Yeah.
(ERNIE LAUGHS)
Wow!
I can see clearly now
the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles
in my way
Gone are the dark clouds
that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright,
bright sunshiny day
No need to lie on the deck,
young lady.
Uh, well...
ERNIE: Oh.
"He no longer dreamed
of storms, nor of women,
"nor of great occurrences,
nor of great fish,
"nor fights,
nor contests of strength,
"nor of his wife.
"He only dreamed
of places now.
"And of the lions
on the beach."
BOTH: "They played like young
cats in the dusk...
"...and he loved them."
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Wow.
Page 97.
I know it by heart.
-Lean in. I need
to get this picture.
-Wow!
Isn't this fantastic?
KITTY: We really are
high up here.
I feel so free,
not a care in the world.
Honey, you always like that.
I think those chocolates
are not helping.
ERNIE: Feeling queasy?
These gummies should help.
But don't take too many.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
No, I'm a doctor.
And I'm a doctor.
(LAUGHS)
No, you're Captain Ernie,
and I'm the doctor.
And I'm also a doctor.
No. Then I'm also a Captain.
(ERNIE LAUGHS)
Are you really a doctor?
So, what are you
doing on the boat?
Are you like a...
Are you like a dolphin doctor?
No. (LAUGHS)
-I'm a regular doctor.
-Really?
This is my weekend gig.
Monday to Friday,
I'm in the medical center.
But when I retire,
I plan to do this full-time.
Don't overdo it, Louise.
Let me get you
some ginger ale, okay?
(LOU CHUCKLES)
Mmm.
(LAUGHING)
I'm back.
I'm rested and relaxed
and ready to go!
Louise! But I've already
replaced you.
What?
Someone younger
and more dexterous.
(MONITOR BEEPING)
Snowball?
With his six-digit paws,
Dr. Snowball can handle
two patients simultaneously.
No!
Give me that scalpel,
that's mine. That's mine!
You don't have any right!
That's my scalpel.
Give it to me.
You can't take my job!
-(WHOOPS)
-Whoa!
What's happening?
Are they bringing us in already?
I paid for the full half hour.
Wait, is that Lou?
What the hell is she doing?
No, Louise!
Louise, stop! Louise!
Are they releasing
the towline?
No, don't be silly, she'd never
do a thing like that. Whoa!
-(SCREAMS)
-(LAUGHS)
ERNIE: Oh, no!
(SCREAMING)
She hasn't forgiven me
for anything!
-(MARILYN SCREAMING)
-(ALICE LAUGHING)
LOU: Hang on! We're coming.
(WHIMPERING)
(MARILYN AND KITTY SCREAMING)
Friends!
BRANDON: What's that?
-They're out of control!
-(WOMEN SCREAMING)
-They're coming right for us!
-Mommy!
(ALL SCREAMING)
MARILYN: Ow! Ow, my ass!
Oh, my God! Is everybody okay?
KITTY: Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, oh, oh!
I shot the whole thing.
BRANDON: Oh, my God.
Can I stand?
-Hi.
-We squished you.
BRANDON: It was a bit
of a surprise.
Are you okay?
ALICE: Oh, my God!
We see you people
everywhere.
Are you following us?
This is gonna go viral.
I know it is.
Oh, my God,
that was fantastic.
KITTY: Oh, my neck!
-Are you okay?
-Are you okay?
Are you all right?
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Get away, you!
You tried to kill me.
No. I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
You know, I was
reaching for the towline
because I thought
it was a scalpel.
God, why would you think
the towline was a scalpel?
I... I... I...
ERNIE: It wasn't
Louise's fault, it was mine.
It was a gummy bear.
Yeah, well, I think
it was the chocolate.
Chocolates, gummy bears,
what the hell are you two
talking about?
They were
special gummy bears.
Very special chocolate.
MARILYN: Special chocolate?
Special?
Special!
You mean?
Are you saying
that Lou is high?
No. No, I'm not.
I'm not baked.
I mean...
-(LAUGHING)
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God!
You are. You are baked!
(ALL LAUGHING)
That is unbelievable.
There we have sober,
sensible, upright
Dr. Louise Zebarski.
She's hammered,
blitzed, high, fucked up!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, that's classic. Classic!
KITTY: Lou! Lou!
SHEILA: We love you,
Dr. Zabubi!
(ALL CONTINUE LAUGHING)
Stop laughing at me!
You've been laughing
at me all weekend.
-No we haven't.
-Nobody is laughing at you.
And I'm not a joke.
I'm a serious person
and I'm a great surgeon,
and who's at the top
of her cat!
Game!
(ALL LAUGHING)
All right, fine!
I am high, I'm high.
But why am I the only
adult in this group?
Kitty, you should be ashamed
of yourself, drugging someone
without their knowledge.
-Me?
-Yes.
I did not give you drugs.
And you! You should be
ashamed of yourself.
I'm talking to you, Alice.
Going all around town
making goo-goo eyes at
anything with a penis,
like some kind of
post-menopausal wolf in heat.
Lou!
And you, you are the most
embarrassing of them all,
you know, just constantly
filming yourself
and risking our lives.
For what?
So that you can be relevant
on TankTop... TicTacToe...
whatever.
BOTH: TikTok!
I don't care what it's called.
Marilyn, for God's sake...
You're not young anymore.
I'm not young anymore.
But, so what?
I mean, just...
act your age.
I refuse to make
any adjustment
whatsoever to aging.
Don't you quote
Joan Didion to me.
Who's Joan Didion?
Oh, my God,
who's Joan Didion?
Do you ever read a book?
Do you know anything?
I mean, does anything matter?
Did anything exist
before you existed?
You're just in some kind of
little bubble, and all of this
doesn't matter.
Well, it matters
to a lot of people.
It matters.
They matter, I matter.
(VOICE BREAKING) I matter.
You know what?
Okay, you guys
should just go on
and just keep making
fools of yourself, but...
I'm done.
(BILLIARD BALLS CLACKING)
What can I get you?
Coffee. Strong coffee.
I really need coffee.
Louise?
-Hi.
-Oh.
(CHUCKLING) Hi.
Ted.
Yeah, I remember.
I... I remember. Uh,
this is your place.
I didn't...
I didn't realize that.
So, um...
Are you from here?
Did you grow up here?
I... I needed a change
when I retired,
and, um, I bought this place
and do some pro bono work
for the Everglades,
so it's really nice.
-Restart.
-Yeah.
So when I said
you could have anything
on the house,
I didn't mean coffee.
This just came in
from Sonoma.
Can you tell me
if it's special?
Sure. Yeah.
-(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
-(ALL LAUGHING)
Yes!
All right.
These are for Marilyn
and Shivani.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Because they are
the ecstatic brides.
Miss Kitty, these are so you.
KITTY: Ooh. Okay,
now, what is so me,
and what am I wearing?
(ALL LAUGHING)
A little bit of this.
(LAUGHS)
-SHIVANI: Yes!
-Ha!
KITTY: No!
Ah!
Oh, my God,
I haven't had this much
fun since 1982.
Can I ask you girl
bosses something?
Why was Lou
so mad at you?
No comment. No comment.
-Oh, God, killed my vibe.
-MARILYN: Okay.
Kitty! No!
-Oh! Shh! Shh!
-MARILYN: Kitty.
-No! No!
-KITTY: No!
See? Hey! Ah!
MARILYN: No! Kitty, don't.
Shh. I'm gonna talk,
'cause you see,
that's just what we do.
We just never talk
about our feelings
and just bury them
under a pile of emotions,
and then we...
Go on, then. Go on.
Tell them how I ruined
Lou's life.
All right, I will.
So, back in the day,
Marilyn and Lou,
they shared an
apartment together,
because those two...
Ooh. They had been
besties since college.
Then one day, I was
power-walking in the park
and these two jocks came
barreling towards me.
I mean, they would
have flattened me,
but this big guy
just scooped me up
and saved me.
How very chivalrous.
Yeah, and he was
really cute.
So, we started going out,
and I made a plan
to have all of us
go to one of those
three-day music festivals.
And then at the last minute,
I couldn't go...
because I had a double
shift at my hospital
where I was a resident.
And so, we went without her,
and there was John...
without Lou.
And then guess
who showed up?
Looking fit and fabulous,
-and totally fine.
-(LAUGHS)
With her blouse unbuttoned
all the way down to there.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
No bra! Braless!
-I flashed my tits.
-ALICE: Braless.
-You did what?
-I flashed my tits!
(ALL SQUEALING)
BRANDON: Yes, queen!
Yes, she did!
And John, well,
John had never seen
anything quite like that.
I couldn't cook,
I couldn't make a bed,
-but I could break a bed.
-Ooh!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Go, Marilyn! (LAUGHS)
And just like that...
I was out of the picture.
(BOTH GASP)
You stole her man?
Well, I didn't know
they were dating exclusively.
-Oh, yes, you did.
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.
-MARILYN: No, I didn't.
-Oh, yes, you did.
-No, I didn't.
-Well, once you found out,
you backed off, right?
-Well...
Girl, have you never heard of
"bitches before bros"?
What do you mean?
I thought it was
"hoes before bros"?
Not no more.
Oh, I liked "hoes."
And then
just six months later,
they got married.
Well, it really
hurt me, I mean, I...
And I'm... angry, and...
Yeah, I was really hurt.
-You was dead wrong, though.
-No, I wasn't!
It was 48 years.
He was the love of my life
for 48 years, and that
counts for something.
Mm-hmm. Yes.
HOST: All right, party people,
are you ready for
a special treat?
Well, let's give
a warm welcome
to our very own
masked crusader...
Zorro!
(WOMEN CHEERING)
(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, my favorite move.
Ooh.
-SHIVANI: Okay.
-Yes!
Maybe it's a good thing
Lou isn't here.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
-He picked you.
-No. He's coming for you.
-No, he is not.
-Yeah.
MARILYN: He better not try!
-Yes.
-You did not! You bitches!
(ALL CHEERING)
ALL: (CHANTING)
Marilyn! Marilyn! Marilyn!
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
Yes!
Get ya groove back, baby.
(ALL CHEERING)
(INAUDIBLE)
I... I can't.
(WHOOPS)
ALICE: I love it!
MARILYN:
This is the greatest
night of my life.
(MUSIC DISTORTS)
(GASPS)
(SHRIEKS) Nathan!
Nathan!
Nathan!
Grandy?
-What? Nathan?
-ALICE: Nathan!
-(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
-(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
KITTY: Sweetheart,
are you okay?
-You poor baby.
-I'm okay.
-ALICE: Is anything broken?
-I'm fine! Really.
Okay.
-Grandy?
-Yes.
What are you doing here?
I'm at a
bachelorette party.
We're the bridesmaids.
MARILYN: You mean
the old maids. (LAUGHS)
MAN: Excuse me, y'all.
Can you just
keep it down, please?
-MARILYN: Sorry.
-ALICE: We're embarrassing him.
Nathan,
I need you to tell me
what's really going on
between you and your mother.
You move out without
even saying goodbye.
You know I can't
run the business
without you,
and those gummies
are a hit.
-I came out.
-Of what?
Out as being gay, Grandy.
And Mom kicked me
out of the house,
and she told me
I was going to hell.
Oh, not you too. Sweetheart!
Your mother is just going
through something.
Her divorce,
that crazy church of hers.
You heard me right, Grandy?
I'm gay.
Sweetheart, I've known that
since you were five years old.
The only person
that didn't know it
is your mother.
Nathan...
I love you.
I love you just
the way you are,
which is perfect.
Bring it in, baby.
-Ooh.
-I love you.
I love you.
Look at you.
I mean, who couldn't
love all of that?
-Mwah!
-Okay.
ALICE: Hey, Nathan,
if we want free alcohol,
where would we go?
MARILYN: Alice!
I think I might
know a place.
BRANDON: These people
must be loaded.
KITTY: Honey, don't you
think it's a little tacky
crashing these people's
party like this?
No! Just look connected.
We do it all the time.
Maybe we should
send Lou a pin?
In case
she forgives us.
-WAITRESS: Would you
like a drink?
-Honey, I already did it.
Girl, you are the bomb,
you're the best.
NATHAN: Take your drink,
everybody.
Ooh, let me have
one of those.
I wish I could stop
being angry, but...
You know, I mean,
we get to a certain age
and we're...
We're so sure we
got it all figured out.
But the truth is,
we can be just as dumb
as when we were kids.
Whoa. Are you saying that...
that I'm wrong?
I'm... Well, I'm saying...
This is one of your oldest
and dearest friends, right?
Yeah.
Open your heart.
Life's too short.
Don't hold grudges.
-(PHONE VIBRATING)
-Oh.
Excuse me.
Those are my friends.
They're looking for me.
I'm going to go find them.
Thank you.
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
It's only loneliness.
But all your friends
are here.
MARILYN: Except for Lou.
Do you feel bad about
stealing Lou's man?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, God.
I didn't steal Lou's man.
We fell in love,
and now he's gone.
But you found someone new.
You're so lucky, Marilyn.
Oh, Shivani,
I love your attitude.
Thank you. Thank you.
( ONE LIFE PLAYING)
You hang onto
what's familiar...
HOST: Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
for Mr. Michael Bolton.
But don't you worry
about these changes
You're gonna
branch out instead
'Cause you've got
one life, baby
So live it
with your heart and soul
Yeah, you've got
one life, baby
It's time to let
the good times roll
Put your mind
on what's ahead
Get a fresh point of view
Don't be thinking
that it's over
It's just the start
of something new
(CROWD CHEERING)
It can't be.
Alice, is that you?
Come up here, sing with me.
Hi. So great
to see you again.
'Cause you've got
one life, baby
So live it
with your heart and soul
Yeah, you've got
one life, baby
It's time to let
the good times roll
Put your mind
on what's ahead
Get a fresh point of view
Don't be thinking
that it's over
It's just the start of
something new
Just the start
of something new
Something new
The start of something new
Something new
Just the start
of something new
-The start of something new
-The start of something new
(CROWD CHEERING)
Whew.
-MICHAEL: Alice, are you okay?
-(MUSIC STOPS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
Alice has just passed out.
Is there a doctor
in the house?
Me! I'm a doctor.
Oh, God. I always
wanted to say that.
Excuse me, excuse me.
SHEILA: It's Dr. Zabibi!
It's the cat doctor.
BRANDON: Go, Dr. Lou!
LOU: Don't worry,
she'll be all right.
She has a history
of very low blood pressure.
WOMAN: Is she okay?
LOU: Um, honey? Alice. Alice?
(SNIFFS)
-What the hell? Jesus!
-Oh, there she is.
-You fainted.
-Oh, no.
LOU: It's okay.
Does anybody have
like, an orange juice
or a shot of tequila or both?
-There you go.
-(CROWD CHEERS)
Wow! (CHUCKLES)
Oh, thanks.
I'm fine. You know
about my condition.
You did it.
KITTY: Give it up for Lou!
ALICE: Oh, yeah. I couldn't
ask for a better friend
than Louise Zebarski.
(OVER PHONE)
Louise, it's Rhonda.
Look, I found this online.
Is this really you?
SHIVANI: A stolen bike,
an injured man in distress.
Is there a girl boss
in the Keys?
Yes!
Our good friend,
Dr. Louise Zhivago saves
the day with her sex toy. Ow!
AUTOMATED VOICE: Dr. Love.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Yeah.
Lou, I wanted
to show you this.
Over the years,
John became a remarkable
photographer.
I mean, it was just a hobby,
but he had so much talent.
He was getting ready
to publish this
when he got sick.
His favorite images.
LOU: Wow.
MARILYN: Beautiful, right?
LOU: Very.
Oh, my God,
I remember when he
took that.
MARILYN: Isn't that fantastic?
LOU: Yes.
And you haven't
changed at all.
-Oh, please.
-No.
Wow, we were something,
weren't we?
Weren't we.
Hmm.
-What happened to that girl?
-(CLICKS TONGUE)
MARILYN: Well...
time is a thief.
You know, John talked
a lot about you at the end.
How principled you were,
and how ethical
and how he admired your...
your pilgrim soul.
I should have
gone to see him.
I was afraid.
Hey, you know,
I want to say I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have been
so judgmental about you
getting re-married.
If you found someone
that you want to
share your life with,
I'm really happy for you.
I'm so happy to hear that.
You're going to love Bradley.
You're going to love him.
He's sweet, he's kind,
he's wise, he's handsome.
He's a self-made man.
You're going to
meet him tonight.
-What?
-Because guess where
I'm taking you?
Where?
-I'm not going to tell you.
-Oh, tell me.
-It's another surprise.
-Oh, come on,
you are such a bitch.
That's right, some things
never change.
(DOOR CLOSES)
MARILYN: Okay now,
shut your eyes.
Shut your eyes.
-Don't look.
-LOU: All right. Okay.
-All right.
-MARILYN: We're walking
up the steps.
-Okay.
-Okay. Go up, up, up.
-Okay.
-There you go, all right.
Okay. Keep your eyes closed.
They're closed!
All right.
Surprise!
-(SCREAMS IN DELIGHT)
-Hemingway House!
Oh, I knew you were
desperate to see
those mutant cats.
It's Hemingway House!
Home to 60 mutant cats.
Six-toed cats.
We got seven-toed cats.
Some even
call them Polydactyl.
Not me, however.
Not freakish. Fantastic!
Just look at that guy.
Invented by Ernest Hemingway.
(CHEERING SOUNDS)
Lou is his biggest fan,
and she's found her soulmate.
She's in pussy heaven.
Even Kitty is on board.
KITTY: Ooh, they're
just so beautiful.
MARILYN:
Six toes are all the rage,
the cat's meow.
WOMAN: Hello, welcome
to Hemingway House.
Hi, reservation
for Marilyn Adams.
-Party of five.
-WOMAN: Let me take a look.
Oh.
So Hemingway lived here
from 1931 to '39.
He wrote The Snows
of Kilimanjaro
and To Have and Have Not
right here.
We can wait in the bar
until Bradley arrives.
Ooh, the bar.
--The bar.
KITTY: Thank you.
ALICE: Twist my arm.
You know what, ladies?
I'm just going to go
look around and see if
Bradley's arrived yet, okay?
Four mojitos, please.
I think you have to call him
and invite him over. Ted.
That's way too forward.
-What?
-What is it, 1902?
Come on, text him.
I'd rather have just,
you know, a conversation.
-Oh, I like that.
-Oh, my God. No.
I still think a phone is for
a real conversation.
-There you go, thank you.
-Yes.
What planet are we on?
Give me your phone!
-What?
-Come on, get it.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to
have to take over.
You people are hopeless.
So, there he is, Ted.
-All right.
-Thank you.
"Hi, Ted. Uh... I'm leaving
in a couple of days.
"Want to get a drink at
Hemingway House?"
There we go.
It's just that easy.
Perfectly innocent.
MARILYN: He's not here.
Ooh, yummy. Mmm.
(ALICE CHUCKLES)
-I guess it's all right.
-Huh?
Lou is sending
her first romantic text.
-(MOUTHING)
-Lou! That's wonderful.
Good for you.
All right,
I guess we can...
-Send!
-Yes!
Bradley's late.
I'm going to go
tell that maitre d'
it's just the four of us,
then she'll have to seat us.
-Okay.
-KITTY: Perfect.
-MARILYN: Excuse me. Hello?
-All right.
-You did it.
-I did it. I'm waiting.
I feel like I'm
in high school waiting
for the guy to call.
KITTY: Oh, you are.
You did great.
We're very proud.
Our little girl's
all grown up.
-I'm going to tinkle.
-All grown up.
Oh, I'm coming to join you.
Please, Lou, make sure
nobody roofies me.
-Sure.
-I'm okay with it.
-All right.
-KITTY: Oh, my gosh.
-BARTENDER: What can I get you?
-Scotch, two fingers.
(SIGHS)
-Lou?
-(GASPS)
Oh, my goodness.
Wow, what a...
-That's wild.
-Well, we keep
running into each other.
It's kismet or something.
(CHUCKLES AND SIGHS)
That's a lot of mojitos
for one lady.
Oh.
No, they're not all for me. No.
Where'd she go?
Do you see what I see?
-Um...
-You look a little more
relaxed than last night.
Yeah, um...
I decided to take your advice
and try to just be,
well, less in the past,
not thinking
about that so much,
and be present with my
girlfriends
and just have a good time.
Is it Ted?
Girl! He got here
in record time.
-Okay, that's supernatural.
-World record.
I'd love to meet
your friends at some point.
-Would you really?
-TED: Yeah.
-He is cute, though.
-Mmm. Silver fox.
LOU: They're actually...
It would be very easy...
There you are,
I couldn't find you.
I've been texting you.
Oh, sorry. My phone
was in my purse.
Not you, silly. Bradley!
Oh, my God.
No effing way!
Not again!
-Oh, darling! Oh!
I missed you so much.
-(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
So... This is Bradley?
-Yes, Bradley.
-The fiance Bradley?
Yeah, the
world-famous fiance.
Bradley, this is...
MARILYN: Lou?
Right.
Lou, are you okay?
I'm just dehydrated. (HICCUPS)
Oh.
Well, I'll get you some water.
Right.
Oh, God.
So... Wow. Wow!
Oh, God.
So, which one is it,
is it Ted or is it Bradley?
Ah, my middle name's Ted.
-Really?
-Yeah, and...
Well, Theodore, actually,
but I've always gone by Ted
until Marilyn...
We met at the DMV.
She saw my license,
and there was my given name,
and she said,
"Nice to meet you, Bradley."
And I just, you know,
I just...
I didn't want to correct her.
You know?
It's such a cute story.
Look, I'm sorry
if I gave you
-the wrong
impression yesterday.
-Oh!
No, that's okay.
Don't worry about it. Fine.
MARILYN: Here we go.
-Here you go, honey.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-Thank you so much.
Lou, you drank
all the mojitos?
She was dehydrated.
I got her some water.
Bradley, these are my friends,
Kitty and Alice.
(STAMMERS)
-I've heard so much
about you.
-(CHUCKLES)
Bradley. Congratulations.
-TED: Thank you.
-We're the bridesmaids.
For the wedding.
-The wedding.
-Great.
-The wedding.
-Great.
WOMAN: Excuse me, Adams!
Our table is ready.
-Yeah, okay. Let's go.
-It's going to be great.
Let's go! Put down, put down...
-the mojito.
-Let's go.
-Let me help you. Oh!
-Let's go!
MARILYN: Isn't this fun?
LOU: I'm ecstatic.
What do you think
about Bradley?
He's charming.
You seem like you
don't really like him.
No, he's very handsome.
Thank God. Thank God.
I was so nervous
to introduce you to him.
I really want you to love him.
Lou, what's wrong?
I forgot something.
-What'd you forget?
-The reason I came to Key West.
Thank you.
Lou!
LOU: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come on, kitty. Meow, meow.
Come to Mama.
Oh, I see you over there.
Come here, you.
Oh, that's a good girl.
-Lou!
-Lou! Lou!
-(CAT MEOWS)
-KITTY: Lou!
Lou, what are you doing?
What does it look
like I'm doing?
I've got my cat,
no thanks to you,
and we are
getting out of town.
Lou, look, you have had
just a little bit
too much to drink.
So, why don't you
just give me the cat...
-No.
-...and we can take...
ALICE: Why don't you
give me the cat?
And then we can all
go back to Marilyn's
-and put you back to bed.
-No. No.
You don't want to take
that cat away from his
little cat family.
That wouldn't be very nice.
Well, you're not very nice.
You lied to me to get me here.
Well, now, Lou,
that's a little unfair.
It's not unfair.
You lied to me all this time.
Hey, I'm sorry.
-Didn't they?
Yes, they did.
-Okay!
I'm done.
All right! I'm done.
Yes! Kitty and I lied to you.
We did, and we feel horrible.
But it was mainly Kitty.
I can't control her.
But we did it out of love
for you and Marilyn.
-You need each other.
-Marilyn was your best friend,
and you've almost
completely destroyed your
friendship with her.
You have.
She hurt you and she
never said she was sorry,
-and it was a drag,
but it's long over.
-Oh.
-Really?
-ALICE: It's friendship.
What could be more important?
I mean, what would I do
without Kitty?
Who would I steal
my drugs from?
-What?
-You loved her.
And what's more
important than that? Huh?
I mean, what do you
care more about?
Cats or people?
Wait, don't answer that.
It's cats! That's right.
So you're going to be
an old cat lady,
and you're going to be alone,
and you're going
to have to have
sex with your cats.
-What?
-That's right, it happens.
People do it.
-Okay.
-ALICE: Yeah.
And here's some
more breaking news.
I...
hate... cats.
Oh.
(GASPS)
-That's right. You heard me.
-LOU: No. Oh, my God.
-Don't you hear that.
Don't listen to her.
-(CAT HISSES)
See, you've upset him!
But she's right.
-LOU: What?
-About everything.
-LOU: No.
-Yes.
This could be
your last chance
to make things
right with Marilyn.
(CAT MEOWS)
NATHAN:
You look beautiful, Grandy.
Thank you, baby. Ooh!
There you are. Done!
-(ALICE LAUGHS)
-MARILYN: I'm so nervous.
-My beautiful friend.
-You look lovely.
Aww!
And that diamond pin.
Magnificent!
And look at that veil.
Looking like
a Jamaican waterfall.
Oh, God. I can't see it
from the back.
Lou, take a picture.
I want to post it.
Is there anything
you don't post?
No, there's
nothing I don't post.
I'm an addict.
Okay.
ALICE: Mmm.
KITTY: You look
beautiful, Marilyn.
Take another one, Lou.
-(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
-KITTY: Yes.
-MARILYN: Thank you. Okay.
-(PHONE CHIMES)
Oh, wait.
Is this Bradley's number
on your phone?
-But it says it's from Ted.
-Huh.
-Who's Ted?
-Well...
MARILYN: This is definitely
Bradley's number.
-Uh...
-Why is he texting you?
Why does he want
to talk to you?
Well, maybe
because, you know,
because of the present
that I was talking
about getting you.
We were having
a conversation.
Oh. Lou, you're the greatest.
Thank you, honey.
But please don't
wear that bag.
Showtime, ladies.
Follow me.
-Come on.
-ALICE: Up you go.
-Oh, thank you.
Granny bride.
-(ALL CHUCKLING)
Come on.
KITTY: All right.
ALICE: Yay!
(ALL HUMMING
HERE COMES THE BRIDE)
Oh.
Yes.
-Well...
-WAITER: Champagne?
It is a celebration.
(CHUCKLES)
Ah. Is it just me
or do we need some
champagne?
Excuse me. Oh, handsome.
-Thank you.
-So, where are we going?
I thought the wedding
was by the pool.
I mean,
everybody's waiting.
MARILYN: We're just going
to the end of the driveway
and back,
then the wedding planner
will bring everyone
to the front.
All the guests, right?
So we can make
our grand entrance,
and shoot it all
for TikTok.
-(MARILYN CHUCKLES)
-Oh, my God.
Lou, I mean this
in the nicest way.
I hate that bag.
Take that bag off.
You're going to ruin the shot.
Says the woman whose dress
is gobbling up every inch
of this ridiculous carriage.
I knew you hated it.
Why can't you ever
just say what you mean?
Okay, let's do it.
Let's take it to the street.
KITTY: Not the flowers.
Okay.
-MARILYN: So?
-What? What?
MARILYN: You're in love
with Bradley?
Oh, my God.
First of all,
his name's Ted, okay.
That's what he said to me.
And isn't it a little bit
of a red flag that a guy
has two names?
So, when I marry him,
are you going to stew
for years,
like you did for
decades with John?
I didn't stew!
Oh, my God
you're still stewing.
You should be served
with a loaf of French bread.
Do you not remember that
I was in love with him first?
You stole him and then
you never apologized.
Let's talk about stealing.
Why are you on TikTok?
-Am I?
-Yes.
1.5 million likes.
-Is that a lot? Ooh!
-Twelve fan accounts...
No, 15!
And look, they did
sexy edits of her.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Dr. Love.
TikTok was mine!
You stole it from me!
Oh, I stole
something from you.
How does it feel?
I'll tell you how
it makes me feel.
It makes me feel like
I don't want you to be my
bridesmaid anymore.
I don't want you to be
my maid of honor anymore.
-And you know what?
-What?
I'm gonna make
an executive decision.
I'm firing you
as my bridesmaid.
That's fine with me.
I quit!
And you know what?
Allow me to take
this opportunity
-to rid myself
of this hideous bag...
-Oh, my...
...which I fucking hate
more than life itself.
-Why can't you dress
like a normal person?
-(GASPS)
-Because I'm not normal.
I'm a heart surgeon.
-(SCREAMS)
I put my hands into the filthy
cavities of people's chests.
That's your job,
you silly twit.
Everybody can do that?
What's wrong with you?
(BOTH SHOUTING)
Okay! Lou,
Marilyn, stop it!
No, I'm not. I'm not.
I don't care either...
You're a martyr
to the cause.
I'm not! I like being normal.
KITTY: Lou! Stop it, stop it!
Stop!
(HORSE NEIGHS)
Apologize and just move on.
I have nothing
to apologize for.
It wasn't my fault
that we fell in love.
(SOBBING)
Do you not understand
the thing that hurt me
the most was that you
chose him over me?
I not only lost a boyfriend,
I lost you.
You broke my heart.
WOMAN: Plenty of room,
so come on out.
There she is.
Beautiful.
Thank you, Lou,
for officially ruining
my wedding day.
WOMAN: Can we have you
all standing here
on the veranda?
Perfect timing if you want
to take some pictures.
Marilyn!
Oh!
Ma! You didn't
answer my calls.
Leslie! You're here?
Well, you gave me no choice.
It seems you've
joined a satanic cult.
I've joined a what?
Mom, I know all about it.
During one of your rituals,
I called and I heard you
pledging allegiance
to your Dark Lord.
I pledge allegiance...
I did no such...
I heard you saying,
"Hail Satan."
I said no such thing.
Then explain this, Mother.
-(GASPS) Oh!
-Is this or is this not you?
Participating in
a ritualistic sex orgy. Hmm?
A Black Mass!
-Who sent you that?
-You sent it to me.
Leslie, I...
(SOFTLY) Alice.
I should have known
she'd be involved somehow.
Leslie,
I am a bridesmaid.
There could be nothing more
innocent or sinless than that.
I am the bride
I look aside
(MARILYN CHORTLES)
KITTY: Oh. You...
-Mom?
-Talk to your son.
(DOOR CLOSES)
-What are you doing here?
-KITTY: Marilyn!
Nathan, what are you
doing here?
KITTY: Marilyn!
Marilyn!
-What I said, Nathan, I...
-Mom...
Mom, we don't have to
have a relationship
if you don't want it.
Okay, I'm gay,
but I'm still me.
And I love who I am, Ma.
Why can't you?
Baby, I'm sorry.
Look, I just didn't
know how to handle it.
Can we just talk about it?
Please.
KITTY: Maybe she's
in the bathroom.
Marilyn!
-(DOOR OPENS)
-Marilyn?
How much have you drunk?
(GASPS)
(BELCHES)
-I glugged it.
-KITTY: Mmm.
I did, I glugged it.
(LAUGHS)
KITTY: Mm-mmm.
MARILYN: And then I went
into your stash, Alice,
and look. Voila!
Look at this.
Something old.
Me.
Something new.
Something borrowed.
That...
-No, no, no!
-Okay.
Stop, stop, stop stop, stop!
Something blue... Kitty's.
-No, gummies.
-Definitely not, that's...
-LOU: All right.
-Not that... That's a...
LOU: Oh, dear. Okay.
Okay, that's enough.
That's plenty.
Thank you very much.
(SOBBING)
(MUFFLED)
I don't feel so good.
Oh, God.
(RETCHING)
Okay.
(RETCHING CONTINUES)
Oh, no...
That's it. That's it.
That's better.
-(GROANS)
-All right, all set?
Great.
(MARILYN GROANING)
You were always the one
holding back my hair.
I'm still here.
MARILYN: Lou...
I need to tell you something.
Way back...
That last New Year's Eve
we were together,
everyone was so hopeful.
Alice was getting
ready to tour
with The Rolling Stones.
Kitty was getting her
Masters in Botany.
You were leaving
for your residency,
and I suddenly realized...
(VOICE BREAKING)
I had nothing.
Nothing!
Just a couple of stories
to tell and some...
some acting awards that
were starting to tarnish.
Sweetie, you had your
degree in psychology.
MARILYN: I didn't...
-I didn't...
-LOU: What?
-I didn't have enough
credits to graduate.
-What?
Oh, Marilyn.
I wanted a career like
everybody else, I did.
I wanted a career,
but I blew it.
So when I...
I met this gorgeous guy
who was good enough for
the smartest girl I knew...
I bounced.
I'm so ashamed.
I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
Please.
It's my deepest
and most profound regret
that I hurt you.
You were my dear,
my dearest friend
and such an amazing person.
My North Star,
I practically worshipped.
I worshipped you.
Oh, how could you
worship me?
I can't even make coffee.
It's okay, we can drink tea.
True confession is good
for the soul, Marilyn,
but today is your wedding day.
-No!
-KITTY: People are waiting.
-I don't want to go. No.
-KITTY: Come on, baby.
-Come on, get dressed.
-No! No!
-KITTY: Come on.
-No!
Here we go.
I can't! Look at my dress!
I can't go anywhere.
Look, you know what,
I can fix it,
we just need maybe
some safety pins.
What about my face?
LOU: Okay, here you go.
Safety pins,
and anybody have a glue gun?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
leave it to me.
You know that, um...
that waiter I met,
I'm sure he's got
a gigantic glue gun.
-Let's do this.
-(MARILYN GROANING)
All right. Come on,
baby, come on.
-That's a girl.
-(GROANS)
KITTY: Oh, my God,
you look beautiful.
-Breathe.
-MARILYN: Thank you.
Oh, my God.
Hold my hand. Hold my hand.
Hold it, hold my hand.
I'm fine, you're fine.
You look beautiful.
Okay.
You okay? Shh.
-Here, add this.
-You look beautiful.
-Okay. All right.
-Beautiful.
-Thank you.
-Where's Alice?
-(THUDDING)
-(ALICE LAUGHS AND WHOOPS)
Oh, my God,
I can't believe
she's stiffed me.
-No, she'll be here.
-Hold my hand.
Hold my hand.
-Okay. Okay.
-Okay?
-All set? Yeah.
-You look beautiful.
-You ready?
-Take a breath.
KITTY: Exhale. That's it.
LOU: And let's go.
-MARILYN: All right.
-Okay.
-Okay, here we go.
-Okay.
-Ready?
-Okay.
All right.
(PROCESSIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey...
You okay?
Mm. Of course.
OFFICIANT: Welcome,
what a pleasure it is
to see everyone here
on this beautiful day.
Friends and loved ones.
Family, both with us
and departed.
We gather here today
to celebrate this...
I can't do it.
OFFICIANT: Huh?
-I can't do this.
-Huh?
(WHIMPERS)
I can't do it.
-What? What?
-I can't do it.
I can't do it.
-What?
-I can't... I can't do this.
I can't do this.
(HYPERVENTILATING)
Oh, God!
Bradley, I'm so sorry.
You're such a great guy.
But I think
I rushed into this
because I was so
terrified of being alone.
-It's okay.
-It is?
You're right. Yeah.
Yeah, I understand.
-You do?
-Yeah, I'm so relieved.
I...
You're a wonderful woman,
Marilyn, and I...
(WHISPERING) You know,
I think I rushed into it
because we met so soon
after my wife died.
I was... I was trying
to escape my pain.
-Oh, my God. Oh.
-The grief...
Oh, thank you, Bradley.
Ted.
It's Ted?
Well, yeah.
It's Ted. Yeah.
Ted... Friends?
-Of course.
-Oh, my God, thank you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Guess what, everybody?
We're not getting married.
Isn't that fantastic?
(LAUGHS HEARTILY)
We both came to
our senses simultaneously.
How often does that happen?
And the best part of it is
the booze is paid for.
So let's get this
party started!
(GUESTS CHEERING)
Whoo!
Oh. Hi, Ernie.
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
People! I have been
banging for hours.
Marilyn, the wedding
was gorgeous.
Honey, where are you?
ERNIE: Care to dance?
LOU: Nice to see you.
-What are you doing here?
-ERNIE: Oh...
I've known Marilyn for years.
LOU: Oh.
Herself and John used to
come down here on vacation.
What about you?
Our gang all was in the same
apartment building in New York.
We were just kids and crazy
and up for anything...
I'm not so brave anymore.
You know what Hemingway says?
"Courage is grace under
pressure."
You'd have to have
a lot of grace
to do what you do
as a heart surgeon.
-You know, I've been
thinking about ya.
-LOU: Really?
I googled you, in fact.
-No...
-Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Look, this might
sound strange, but...
have you ever considered, um...
I'm just going to say it.
Has it ever occurred to you
to come and live in Key West?
What?
You know, you could
join my practice.
As a consulting physician.
I really am a doctor, you know.
And, I mean, you could
have your own hours
and could be part-time
if you wanted.
Wow. I...
What?
Well, I don't think I'm...
I don't think I'm ready
to leave my practice.
But whenever you do,
it's an open invitation.
Thank you.
And on the weekends,
you and I could go
snorkeling together.
Well, wouldn't your wife
be upset about that?
Well, she'd be furious.
But she passed away
five years ago.
She's dead? I'm so sorry.
Sorry. It's terrible.
It's a lot. I don't...
I don't think I can.
Of course.
I understand.
But, you know,
thinking about it,
Marilyn has asked me to come
spend more time with her.
There's a lot to catch up on
and, uh, you know,
maybe if I took Dramamine,
I could go on the boat,
and I've always kind of been
thinking about, you know,
what it would be like
to go snorkeling.
-So I'm...
-Or scuba diving.
When you feel ready.
What about this weekend?
MARILYN: May I cut in?
Thank you.
Lou!
-Hey.
-It's our dance.
Wait, I'm leading!
-You're going to lead?
-I'm going to lead.
-I have pants on.
-You surely do.
-Okay.
-Here we go.
Love is gold,
and time is a thief.
-Who said that?
-I said it.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
MARILYN: My Lou. Oh, Lou,
I've missed you so much.
NATHAN: May I have
this dance, Grandy?
LOU: I'm so excited.
MARILYN: We'll make up
for lost time.
I can see clearly now
the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles
in my way
Gone are the dark clouds
that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright,
bright sunshiny day
I think I can make it now
the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings
have disappeared
Hey, here is the rainbow
I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright,
bright sunshiny day
Look all around
There's nothing
but blue skies
Look straight ahead
Nothing but blue skies
I can see clearly now
the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles
in my way
Oh, yeah
Gone are the dark clouds
that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright,
bright sunshiny day
Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be
A bright,
bright sunshiny day
Hey, it's gonna be
A bright, bright,
bright sunshiny day
It's gonna, gonna be
A bright,
bright sunshiny day
Oh, yeah
It's gonna be a bright,
bright, bright, bright
sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright,
bright, bright, bright
sunshiny day
(SONG ENDS)
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)