The Horse Boy (2009) Movie Script
1
[Chorus Vocalizing]
[Muttering]
[Woman Sighs]
[Woman] I don't know if
I'm going to make it, love.
[Man] Yeah, you will.
[Exhales]
[Man]
I don't see them, Tulga.
[Birds Chirping]
[Man]
What's your name?
What's your name?
[Man Narrating] In April 2004, my
son Rowan was diagnosed with autism.
The feeling was like being hit..
Across the face with a baseball bat.
Grief Shame.
This weird, irrational shame, like I'd somehow
cursed this child by giving him my faulty genetics.
Watching horrified as he began
drifting away to another place.
[Crying]
But this story isn't about
the tragedy of autism.
This is a story about how, as a family,
we did something crazy.
How we ended up going
halfway across the world...
In search of a miracle,
but let's start at the beginning.
December 27, 2001.
My wife, 8 months pregnant, and I
were at a friend's house having tea...
when, like something straight out of a
movie, she suddenly went into contractions.
One quick C-section later, while they
brought Kristin round from the anesthetic,
I stood alone in the private room
with this little boy...
we'd already decided
to call Rowan.
The clock on the wall said
half past midnight...
Which meant, I realized, that Rowan
had decided to come into the world...
exactly seven years to the day,
and almost to the hour,
that Kristin and I
had first spoken.
Are we going to tell the story
of how we met?
Well, you start because
the first day I didn't talk to you.
That's right. Of course she
wouldn't talk to me. [Laughing]
Um, who would?
I wouldn't.
But we met in India.
[Narrating] I'd been hired to
write a guidebook to the region.
She was there doing research
for her PhD in psychology.
We couldn't have been
more different.
I was British,
brought up partly in London,
and partly on a farm
training horses.
Kristin was a suburban girl
from California.
But the moment I saw her, a
voice in my head said, clear as day,
That's your wife.
Yeah, that's right. The first night
he said, he asked me to marry him,
and, um
Must have been mad.
Yeah, and I -
And I said, How many women
have you asked to marry you before?
So I lied and said, None.
Oh, it was a lie?
[Narrating] We embarked on
seven years of travel and adventure.
We finally married,
and settled in Texas,
where Kristin got a job
as a professor of psychology.
And I continued my career
in journalism and human rights,
working mainly with the Bushmen
of Southern Africa's Kalahari.
When Rowan was born,
and we began living as a family,
it was like everything had finally
fallen into place.
Swing me just a little bit higher
Oba dia do
And then, it all fell apart.
[Crying, Shrieking]
[Narrating] The world
had once been our oyster.
Now it had narrowed down
to just getting through the next day.
No one could even give us a definitive
explanation of what autism even was.
Now autism obviously means a lot
of different things to a lot of people.
One could argue that people
have different definitions.
All right, I'll have a go.
Autism is due to
neurological abnormalities...
in the early growth of the brain.
Autism is
a neurological impairment...
that influences a person's ability...
to view the world
in a socially typical way.
[Grandin] I had to learn social
skills. Social skills can be taught.
But sort of social chitchat just for
social relatedness, I'm not into that.
In autism the brain is able to
detect more information.
If their brain is being flooded by
lots of detail that the rest of us miss,
that could simply get in the way
of being able to interact socially.
In addition the person
has very narrow interests...
in specific topics sometimes
these are called obsessions.
Today we see autism
as a big spectrum...
that can range from
the severely mentally retarded person...
who is completely nonverbal...
to somebody who is a socially awkward
mathematics or physics professor.
[Narrating] Our lives became
clogged under a mountain...
of conflicting literature
and information on the disorder.
The possible causes,
treatments and prognosis.
[Crying]
We tried everything.
Behavioral analysis, pills,
creams, diets
We were out of options.
He didn't speak to us,
spent hours lining up
objects obsessively,
was completely isolated
from other kids...
and subject to endless tantrums.
[Crying]
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
His tantrums came in waves,
several times a day,
lasting sometimes up to four hours.
Autism tantrums,
they're not like normal tantrums.
They're often neurological in origin,
which means the child is unreachable,
impossible even to console.
Point to where it hurts. Does it
hurt here? [Crying, Coughing]
Did it hurt here?
[Shrieking]
Is it here?
He's got a red mark here.
That's a big mosquito bite.
I think maybe that mosquito
bite has inflamed It's gone.
The flea is gone.
The what is gone?
The flea? The
flea? There's a flea?
Okay. Oh, oh
[Groaning, Crying]
[Crying] Hey. Do you
want to see the baby goats?
Goats? [Crying] Baby goats?
[Rowan]
Penguin!
More hippo.
Here we go.
I want more hippo.
You want more hippo?
[Narrating] I'd been keeping
Rowan away from horses,
because I thought
he was unsafe around them.
But one day, he ran away from me
onto the property of my neighbor, Stafford,
and ran right up to his old mare,
a horse called Betsy.
She didn't spook.
Instead, her reaction was so gentle,
so submissive,
I realized immediately that
he had some direct line to her.
The moment I put Rowan
on Betsy's back, he began to speak.
He's a nice horse.
This deep relaxation,
it's such a rare thing for him.
There's something going on
between them that...
Even with all my years of dealing
with horses, I just have never seen.
It's this mystery
but it's a very beautiful mystery.
Just like autism is a mystery.
Feels like a
A warm sunny day after winter.
[Narrating] As Rowan began
to open up to me for the first time,
a light bulb went on in my head.
I asked myself; why does autism have
to mean the shutting down of everything?
Why couldn't it be
a gateway into adventure?
Maybe even
a gateway into healing?
- [Voices Chanting]
- [Narrating] It may sound odd,
but I have something of a history
with traditional healing.
In the course of my work
with the Bushmen,
I had, during the previous 10 years,
been introduced into their world
of healing through the use of a shaman.
The Bushmen,
and many peoples like them,
address their spiritual dilemmas,
their health dilemmas,
their social dilemmas,
even their political dilemmas,
through the use of a trained
shaman, who enters a state of trance,
talks to the spirits,
and comes back with an answer.
As unbelievable as it may sound, in
my years of working with the Bushmen,
I have seen many times, people
cured of a variety of illnesses this way.
So I asked myself,
was there a place on earth...
that combined this kind of
shamanic healing with horses?
I did some research.
It turned out that the place where
horseback riding actually originated...
is the same place,
the one place on earth,
where shamanism
is in fact the state religion:
Mongolia.
-[Rupert] You want to jump with Betsy?
- [Rowan] Jump with Betsy!
Okay, let's jump with Betsy.
Betsy!
Okay, let's go!
Oh! Oh, no! Betsy!
[Rupert Narrating]
What if we were to go there,
riding on horseback
from healer to healer?
What if we were
to do something like that?
When he first proposed the idea
I just looked at him like,
this is crazy.
We have an autistic son.
Incredibly difficult to deal with
just getting through each day.
This is the absolute last thing
we need in our life right now...
is to go to Mongolia on horseback.
I justIt's just insane.
I mean, I don't even like horses.
We're going to try to keep our
tantruming autistic son on the horse?
Going from shaman to shaman?
Is this going to work?
[Rupert Narrating]
But that, eventually,
is exactly what
I convinced her to do;
together we were to set off from Ulaanbaatar,
meeting with shamans along the way,
then to a sacred lake,
Lake Sharga,
known for its healing waters,
and finally, if we could find them,
to the mysterious reindeer herders,
who live in the far north...
where, I heard, the most
powerful healer in all Mongolia lived.
Aero-plane!
Aero-plane!
This is just It's just
absurd. [Chuckles]
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Rupert Narrating]
Our guide, Tulga,
picked us up at the airport and
took us into the capital, Ulaanbaatar.
I don't know what I was
expecting exactly,
but this depressed, post-Soviet city
wasn't quite it.
I'd expected the open steppe.
Nomads, horses,
Genghis Khan and all his warriors,
not an urban slum.
I think it wasn't exactly
Rowan's vision of Mongolia.
[Rupert] So look, here
we are in the autism world.
I'm preparing his morning
chocolate milk.
These are all meds
that are related to his autism.
This is Valtrex,
which is the drug for herpes.
Okay, so we're gonna
grind this up.
Then there's the heavy metals.
This is to help him metabolize the
heavy metals that we know are in his body.
Vitamin E.
Yeast defense.
So this is to sort of help him
with his gut.
[Kristin] Which isn't helping. Which
doesn't appear to be doing anything at all,
but it can't do him any harm
so what the hell.
And then this one here I even forget
why we're giving him this one here.
[Kristin] That's right it's
another type of antiviral...
that the doctor thinks might help as
well to supplement the Valtrex. Right.
So, shake it up.
Okay. That's ready for
him when he gets up.
Nobody knows
what really causes autism.
Autism, like many other disorders,
is very complex.
[Baron-Cohen] These days
there is a consensus that genetics...
is going to be
at the root of the cause.
But we know that genes are not
going to be the whole explanation.
Recently, there seems to be more
problems with very severe autism...
that remains nonverbal,
and is regressive autism.
And I'm very concerned about
environmental contaminants.
[Man] One theory of autism
is that individuals with autism...
are, you might say,
a reaction to our environment.
There's a Jot of pollutants out there,
there's heavy metals, there are pesticides.
This is having a huge impact
on the human body.
There isn't much doubt that...
an environmental factor
will eventually be established.
And it may be that it has to
interact with the genes.
That that environmental factor
only contributes to autism...
in an individual who's already
got a genetic susceptibility.
[Rupert Narrating]
Before our arrival,
Tulga had been putting the word out
that Rowan was coming.
The result was that shamans were traveling
in from all over the country for the healing,
in what we were told would be
the largest gathering of shamans...
since the end of Communism.
[Rowan Muttering]
[Rupert]
We're going up to the sacred mountain...
outside of Ulaanbaatar
Tsegan Ul is the name of it.
And, um, nine shamans...
are going to meet us there,
and perform a ritual on Rowan.
I'm quite hopeful.
I think it could be...
Interesting for all of us.
We're going to do what
all normal families do on a
What day is it today
morning.
Um, we're going to go up
a several-thousand-foot mountain...
and perform a four-hour ritual
with shamans.
Isn't that what all families do?
[Rowan Screaming]
Come here!
We gotta go back!
[Crying]
Ruin!
[Crying Continues]
[Chattering]
[Rupert] Tell you what, Rowan. Let's
go take a little walk down to the river.
- Do you want to have a walk down to the river?
- [Rowan] I walk down to the river.
[Chanting In Foreign Language]
[Speaking Foreign Language]
[Rupert] Hello.
Thank you for seeing us.
Uh, is really happy
to receive you in Mongoli land,
and, uh, his land
and our land.
You come here and,
really happy to receive you here.
[Rupert]
Well, we're very grateful to be here.
[Singing In Foreign Language]
Don't step on that, sweetie.
He's all right.
[Drumming]
[Singing In Foreign Language]
[Woman Speaking Foreign Language]
[Tulga]
[Kristin]
Yeah. Mental illness.
[Rupert Narrating]
In fact, all the shamans concurred..
That a recent ancestor,
a female ancestor, on Kristin's side,
was somehow clinging to Rowan.
Perhaps trying to harm him,
or even pull him away.
[Drumming, Singing] [Rupert]
if he doesn't want to have a drink of it,
ls it okay, or can we?
[Chattering] Have some
water. Here's some more water.
Have some water. Water.
Out of the box. Water.
Water.
Water. Water.
What's that?
It's water.
It's water. It's white water. White
water. Tastes like water. Taste it.
[Rupert]
Just take a little sip.
[Rowan Shouting]
Water!
Take a little drink.
[Rowan Vocalizing]
Drink! Water, water! Water!
[Bell Jingling]
[Tulga]
Uh-huh.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Can it be over the clothes?
No? Okay. All right.
Okay, okay.
[Rupert Narrating] The shamans
also said that a black energy...
had entered Kristin's womb
during the pregnancy.
Yeah, just don't show my cellulite,
that's all I ask.
All right.
You can Photoshop that, can't you?
[Crying]
[Woman Vocalizing]
I don't want this.
[Crying]
I've gotta go see the shaman.
[Rupert Narrating]
I couldn't help wondering,
did I really have his best interest
at heart here?
Was I being a terrible father?
I didn't know.
[Man, Faint]
There is a house built out of stone
- Wooden floors, walls and window sills
- Is he gonna whip me?
[Tulga]
Tables and chairs
worn by all of the dust
This is a place
Where I don't feel alone
This is a place
[Tulga]
Okay.
[Rupert] Remember, you're
not allowed to cry out, love.
[Grunts]
[Tulga]
Higher.
High.
Higher.
[Chattering]
[Panting]
[Tulga]
Okay, that's fine.
Okay, it's all gone now.
All right. Okay.
[Kristin Chuckles I
Yeah, I have them too.
Well done.
I'm proud of you.
[Chuckling]
Come here. Come here.
[Laughing]
Excuse my craziness.
[Rupert Narrating] And then something
happened. Something was ref eased.
Rowan began laughing, giggling,
playing with the shamans.
Hey!
[Laughing]
We were together again,
as a family.
Until
It disappeared
From me
From you
[Rupert Narrating] Clouds gathered.
A cool wind got up, and the rains came.
A very good sign,
said the shamans.
To leave
And turn
[Drumming]
[Rupert]
Thank you.
[Rupert Narrating]
After the last shaman had finished,
Rowan turned to
this small Mongolian boy...
who'd been there
at the ceremony.
And right out of the blue, hugged
him, and said, Mongolian brother.
He'd never done
anything like this before.
The boy's name was Tomoo,
the 6-year-old son of Tulga, our guide.
After seeing the boys' interaction,
Tulga decided to bring Tomoo
on the trip with us.
[Chattering]
[Engine Starting]
[Rupert Narrating]
Next morning, we set off...
into the great interior of Mongolia.
Ten hours' drive
to the first nomad camp,
where we were
to meet the guides and horses...
who would take us to Lake Sharga
and its healing waters.
[Grunting Playfully]
- Are they gonna play together?
- I think they might.
[Cooing]
[Kristin] This is very unusual.
[Rupert] This is totally unusual.
[Kristin] Playing with another
kid like that. Very unusual.
I haven't seen him do that kind
of interactive play before,
ever, actually.
No. No, no.
The most he's ever done
with another child is play chase.
But to actually have a sword fight
and then Never done that before.
Talking about being a pirate.
Never done that before.
Take this pirate ship.
[Rupert]
Very, very cool kid, Tulga's son.
[Kristin]
Yeah.
That's really encouraging.
Isn't it.
How do you like it?
You don't like it?
I don't like it?
OrOr, you like it? Or?
Oh, yeah! No, no,
I'm doing a little dance.
Okay. [Chuckles]
[Rupert Narrating] All I know
is we went to see the shaman,
and now, two days later, we're
seeing even more involved play...
that I've never
seen before ever.
ls this because of the shamans?
Isn't this because of the shamans?
All I know is, we went to the
shamans, and now this is happening.
Hey, Rowan, can you go poopie
on the potty?
Can you go poopie on the potty?
Yes, I do.
Yes, you do!
Do a poopie!
Do a poopie!
No!
No?
Can you do poopie on the potty?
All done! All done?
All done poopie?
[Kristin's Voice] I don't think he's
ever successfully gone poo in the potty.
Pretty much everything the books
tell you you should try doing, we've tried
and have had no success.
We took him out of diapers because we just
thought if we didn't, he'd be in diapers forever.
So we just have him
wear underwear,
and hope that...
it's going to be so uncomfortable
pooping in your underwear...
that he'll eventually
be potty-trained.
Although it doesn't seem to be
working out that way very much.
All right, let me just
make sure you're covered.
[Kristin's Voice]
If I could make one wish for
the Mongoli trip, if they could like,
heal his resistance
to using the potty.
That is a very big wish.
He could finally learn
to use the potty.
It would make our lives
tremendously easier.
I'm so tired of changing poopie
underpants, I can't even tell you.
[Rupert] Man. Yuck.
[Rowan Grunts]
[Kristin]
I've got a little plastic bag in there.
Jesus Christ.
This is a bad one.
[Chuckling] Get you all
clean. You sure you want this?
[Rowan Murmuring]
Wow, that was
that was an explosion, mate.
[Rupert] I don't feel quite
as glamorous as Steve Irwin,
but I do feel like
I just wrestled with a beast.
Okay.
[Rupert's Voice] And at feast
the rainstorm hasn't hit. Yet.
That was what
you call a Code Brown.
[Chattering]
[Kristin]
Here we are.
Our first night.
Horses here?
Yes. Horses here.
[Sheep Bleating]
[Rupert] We've just arrived at
our first nomadic encampment.
This is Rowan's first introduction
to Mongolia proper.
He's just, um,
totally into it.
Oh, on we get.
[Groans]
Hold the horn.
[Tulga]
For tonight, we set up tent.
Of course, the kitchen makes food.
Also, the horses are already there,
and we will be seeing our horses,
which have been prepared for us.
So they've been trained horses for...
three days, minimum, yeah.
[Sheep Bleating]
Right?
So we're going to be riding on horses that
have never been ridden by Westerners before.
This should be interesting.
[Chuckles]
Oh, dear.
[Kristin]
Mmm. God, this is beautiful.
[Bleating Continues]
[Shouting Playfully]
Oh, hello, mister goats!
No, I'm with the goats.
In we go.
[Rupert Narrating] Rowan's
relationship with animals is extraordinary.
All these animals are
incredibly tolerant of him.
They let him do stuff that neurotypical
kids often can't get away with.
[Blowing Raspberries, Vocalizing]
He He picks them up,
he chucks them around.
And they won't
the cat won't scratch him.
The goats just sort of go limp
and let him do this.
And we see this time and time
again. He's got something with animals.
And he's always been obsessed
with animals.
[Grinker] People with autism
often have incredibly special talents.
And they do things better than
somebody that might not have autism.
For example, the ability to
focus on a very narrow topic,
to the exclusion of everything else,
may be a very positive thing.
We've come across some
who are excellent painters,
excellent musicians,
excellent at math.
[Grand in] You wouldn't have
any electricity in this building.
You wouldn't have any camera
to film this interview.
Any of these things if you didn't have
people on some degree on the autism spectrum.
[Baron-Cohen] So some of those
genes that are involved in autism...
may also have been
very important as contributors...
to the success of humanity.
[Rupert]
So now this week, I came in,
and I found that he had started...
putting his animals in boxes,
and sorting them.
Look all the birds
are in this box here.
The rhinos
and the pigs are together.
They are biologically close
to each other.
No one's told him this.
The camel, the bison
and the musk ox are together
The large cloven-hoofed animals.
Now it gels interesting.
This is plains game:
buffalo, zebra, kudu,
gemsbok antelope.
He knows that these animals
group together. He must
I guess he's observed this
in a wildlife documentary.
Um, and then over here all by itself
in a special box, is the horse.
So, he's categorizing correctly,
at age four,
the genuses and species, and
what their relationship is to each other.
But no one's told him this.
So this, if you like,
is a really good allegory...
of the mind of the autistic kid.
InIn some ways, um,
really advanced.
But also, if you say,
Hi, little boy, what's your name?
He'll completely blank you.
[Nickering]
[Tulga]
But the locals, they say to us, um,
you brought the rain.
It hasn't been raining like this.
They like to say, uh,
the man bringing rain...
has to be really,
really good person.
So we respect the person...
and offer many good foods...
and be more polite with the people.
So, Tulga, do you want to just
tell us what we've got here?
We got sausages, and, um,
lung and liver, and hearts.
[Chuckling]
Oh. Cheers.
Thank you for having us.
[Tulga Translating]
All right, so, I'm going to start with this
one. [Tulga] Piece by piece. Mm-hmm.
This is the
I think it's the lung.
Mmm, lung, my favorite.
That's, um,
really challenging.
You're enjoying this,
aren't you? Oh, yeah.
[Laughing]
I'm enjoying.
That's, um
I can only say this in English,
but that's really horrible.
Um, but I'm going to eat it anyway.
[Tulga]
It can go...
pretty good with, uh,
some fats with it.
Look!
There's Daddy!
[Rowan] Whoo-hoo! Hey.
[Man]
Hey!
[Rowan]
No, thank you!
[Laughing]
Car!
Do you wanna go into my car?
Take Here.
Carl Car!
Car.
I want a car.
Go to the car?
Let's go to the car.
- [Kristin] Yeah. We'll go to the car.
- But, you know
Car!
To the car.
[Kristin] To the car?
Say, Car, please, Daddy.
[Rupert]
I'm feeling a little anxious right now.
Um, I don't know
if I'm doing the right thing.
It just makes you feel a little bit like, what are we putting
him through? It is hard. It's stressful. It's difficult.
[Rupert]
Guys, we have to get moving.
Car! Car! Car!
[Rupert]
We've waited almost too long.
All right, I'm going to keep
getting moving. Let's get moving.
[Rupert Narrating] I'd never seen Rowan reject a horse before.
[Rowan Crying]
Never seen him tantrum
on a horse.
The horse was always the place
where his tantrums went away.
[Rupert Sighs] I can't ride on the
horse. I'm just so tired and exhausted.
Really? And we've only been
You have to kick every single step.
Do you want to take this horse?
And to trot I've got to like [Grunts]
Do you want to take this horse?
If you can change saddles.
Um, it'll take long to change.
Do you need that saddle?
I'll ride in the van. Jeremy's going
to ride and see if he does better.
[Rupert] Jeremy!
[Kristin] Jeremy?
Sit tight! Sit tight!
Sit tight!
Whoa! Oh, dear!
OhOh, Shit!
[Rupert Chuckling]
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh, man.
See, it is a butt-fucker of a horse!
Are you okay, sweetie? [Rupert] You
wanna get down? Okay, you can get down.
But the problem is
every time we stop like this
Mummy.
You want to go see Mummy?
You want to ride in the car
with Mummy for a bit?
Okay. Oh!
I'm sorry.
I'm in a very negative mood.
That was one of the most uncomfortable
half hours I've ever spent in my life.
All right. Well, enjoy the ride in
the car for a bit. [Sighs] Okay.
[Rupert Narrating] And so, my son
took off, into the center of Mongolia,
in the back of a van with
leopard-skin seats and pink curtains.
[Vocalizes]
And...
count!
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, stop!
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, stop!
You want to do that? Yes, please,
or no, thank you? Yes, please!
Okay, let's do it!
And, one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, stop!
[Rowan Laughing]
[Chuckling]
[Rupert]
In my daydream,
this trip to Mongolia
would bring him by himself riding.
Him not having to sit there
in the saddle with me.
Him riding, by himself.
[Rupert Narrating] Every parent
who has this passionate interest...
wants to share that passionate
interest with their child.
But it's more than that.
If Rowan can ride, then he's free.
Then he's got freedom.
If that's something that could
come of this trip, then...
that alone would be
Would be everything to me.
...seven, eight, nine, stop!
[Rowan Laughing]
[Rupert Narrating] Eventually
we let him out to play at a river,
and Tulga took off with the van
to try and find a mountain...
where he could get
a cell phone reception.
That was a mistake.
The van was now Rowan's anchor
of comfort in this unfamiliar place.
Now it suddenly wasn't there.
The result?
Total meltdown.
Oh, oh, oh, he's pooing, I think.
Are you going poopie? [Crying]
[Rowan]
Gotta get clean.
Okay, we can use water
from the water bottle.
Switch off the camera
and come and help us.
[Rowan Crying, Screaming]
Wrong!
We gotta go home!
[Rupert Singing, Indistinct]
Eagle! Eagle!
What's wrong?
The van's coming.
The van will be here in about one minute. Already.
Do you see? Yep. There it is. See, there's the van.
The van's over there.
[Crying]
You want me, hon? You
want me, hon? Oh, poor darling.
Okay, van's coming.
Van's coming. [Fussing]
Van's coming. Van's
coming. There's the van.
You do?
[Sighs]
[Rupert]
I completely fucked up.
I turned,
through just not thinking straight,
a delightful experience for him, into
a pretty traumatic experience for him.
And what that is teaching me...
is I've got to abandon
any adult agenda.
And it's funny, I hadn't even really realized
until this moment that I kind of had one.
So I let him down.
And the important thing
ls just to...
remember why we're here,
and why we're here is for him.
It's the good and the right lesson
to have learned.
Grr.
[Chuckling]
[Kristin Laughing]
Up!
Down.
[Laughing]
Up!
Down.
[Rupert]
Get the geese! Get Tomoo.
[Rowan] Chase the geese!
We're chasing the geese!
[Grunting, Growling Playfully]
I guess I'm forgiven.
[Laughing]
[Rupert] It's pretty cool, huh?
[Man] What an adventure.
What an adventure.
I love my son.
And he loves you.
That's a good thing.
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
Yes, Tommy was a piper's son
He learned to play when he was young
But the only tune that he would play
Was Over the Hills and Far Away
O'er the hills and o'er the main
Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain
King George commands and we obey
Over the hills and far away
There's 40 shillings on the drum
For those who volunteer to come
To list and fight the foe today
Over the hills and far away
O'er the hills and o'er the main
Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain
King George commands and we obey
Over the hills and far away
Over the hills and far away
And I would love you all the day
Every night would kiss and play
I for me you gladly
Stray
Over the hills and
[Rowan Joining In]
Over the hills and
Far away
Over the hills and far away
[Kisses] I love you.
[Sniffles]
Mmm.
[Rowan Babbling]
Well, it's true. I'm a I'm a better
father because of his autism.
I never thought I'd say that.
But there's no question.
I don't think I would have been...
that great a dad otherwise.
All right, mate. Do you want to
eat, or do you want to go up to bed?
[Indistinct]
You want to go up to bed. Okay.
I'm a better father because I
his autism forced me to listen
to what interested him above all else,
and implement it
because I had no choice.
Um, I'm glad now
that I had no choice.
It was tough at the time, but...
we're onto something good here.
[Kristin]
Whoo!
Very traditional Mongolian fire.
[Man Singing In Foreign Language]
[Mongolians Singing]
[Kristin] Since the ceremony, I've
been having these really vivid dreams,
and I dreamt that I saw my
grandmother happy, walking away,
like she had let go of Rowan.
My dreams have been
so powerful lately.
I mean, normally, I don't remember
my dreams at all, but I have been here.
But there is definitely a connection with,
you know, my grandmother.
All her grief and sadness,
and that tendency,
that kind of negativity
my grandmother really had.
I mean, in away,
she was a black hole.
What's interesting is, you know, because I have
a difficult time wholly understanding spirits.
I mean, I-To be honest,
I don't really believe in spirits,
you know,
as kind of actual entities.
I believe in them more
as symbolic entities.
What's interesting is that
I really saw it as, um
I saw her spirit as a symbol,
or maybe the actual, who knows,
of that tendency in the female line...
on my mother's side, um,
of this real clinging,
and just kind of..
Rage against not wanting things to
be other than as they want them to be.
And it's been passed down
from her to my mother to me, to Rowan.
My rational mind says,
what does all this mean?
But, you know,
there's some connection there.
[Chattering]
This is a good-bye photograph.
Good-bye photograph.
One, two, three.
[Foreign Language]
[Shutter Clicks]
[All Chuckling]
Good-bye, Blackie.
[Kisses]
[Men Speaking Foreign Language]
[Tulga]
[Kristin] Maybe we can ask the locals
if they know which one is good for the brain.
[Rupert] Do you think we could
visit the one that's good for the brain?
[Rupert]
Yes, let's do that.
[All Laughing]
Bye-bye!
Say Bye-bye, Blackie! [Narrating]
We decided to take the old man's advice...
and head to Lake Sharga
and the healing spring,
where, so they said,
we could wash away our suffering.
So, back into the van we got,
for three days' hard travel.
The shamans had given us
some homework.
Every night,
until we left Mongolia,
we had to perform
a series of rituals,
while praying for whatever negative forces
were affecting Rowan to leave him be.
Including, as out there as it sounds
even by my standards,
the spirit of Kristin's
manic-depressive grandmother.
He's just making
cognitive advances...
at an accelerated rate
over the last few days.
I think having Tomoo along
ls, you know, key to all this.
Do you want, uh, a Rain Man cookie?
No, thank you.
Okay.
[Man]
What's it taste like?
Autistic parents
only eat Rain Man cookies.
[Laughter]
[Chuckles]
[Men Chanting In Foreign Language]
[Bell Rings]
[Chanting In Foreign Language]
Mister shamans?
[Bell Rings]
[Narrating] Here it
was. Lake Sharga.
Much more beautiful
than I thought it would be.
[Indistinct]
There's the lake.
Look at that.
I wanna go.
[Rupert] All right. Let's
get out. [Man] Let's get out.
[Kristin] I have no idea
if any of it has an effect,
or if it's just maybe...
calling up the focus
and the intention for his healing,
which in and of itself
could be quite powerful.
I don't know how useful it is
to think of...
us as normal and totally healthy, and
Rowan as the sick one, or the ill one.
I think it's way more
complicated than that.
[Rupert] We would not be having this
amazing crazy a a venture across Mongolia...
if Rowan was not autistic.
It seems like a curse in some ways,
but in many ways, it's
a real blessing. Mmm.
And to allow it to be.
Mm-hmm.
To allow it to be.
[Kristin] And also, this is Rupert's
and my life before we had Rowan.
We traveled all over the world.
Yeah, and we just thought we'd
never be able to do it again. Yeah.
You know.
And we tried a couple of times.
And it was a disaster.
Disaster, you know.
And we were terrified that this trip
would turn into a real disaster too.
And it hasn't.
Rowan's just been so into it.
And even when he was shaky the first couple
of days, he was still into it, you know.
I think something's really
shifted with him.
Yeah, he's finding his
adventurer's heart.
[Rupert]
Yeah. He is.
I can tell you, this is a
fairly hard trip in many ways.
But I've had harder car rides
to the grocery store with Rowan.
I mean, seriously.
Haven't you? It's true, yeah.
[Chattering]
[Rupert] Let's go
outside and see if it's there.
Rowan, you're too close.
[Crying]
Well, this is kind of
a good lesson in sort of
This is a high-functioning autistic kid.
You can see, like, sometimes you can go out,
and even just to make it 300 yards up a trail...
can be, like, massively stressful.
[Shouting, Crying]
Wow, you really know how to be charming when
you ask for things. Swing. [Indistinct]
[Cries]
Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Oh, look. Here are some
more dandy leaves. [Wailing]
[Whining, Squeaking]
Ooh.
[Chattering]
[Rupert] I gotta admit. I'm
feeling a little down tonight.
I don't know. Sometimes I think he's leaping forward,
and sometimes it's like he's totally regressing.
[Kristin] I know. He goes up
and down like a Ping-Pong ball.
[Rupert] Am I just kidding myself
that I'm not attached to him recovering?
Will he ever be really functional?
Will he have to go into
an institution when he's older?
Will he recover? Will he
surprise us? [Kristin] Baby cow.
Let alone will he ever ride a
horse by himself. You know.
[Sighs]
I don't know.
[Whimpers]
Oh!
[Chattering]
[Kristin]
No, no!
[Man]
Calm down.
[Chattering]
No, no, no, no.
[Squeaking]
Tonight he's basically just like
a giant 18-month-old.
And it's very painful
for me to see.
[Kristin]
Are you okay?
No, I'm down. I'm down.
[Rowan fluttering] I'm feeling like, with the
camera on me, it almost makes me want to cry.
Oh, let's go. Water on
your head. On your head!
Ready? Whoa!
[Whining]
[Squeals, Cries]
[Crying]
[Rowan Sobbing, Chattering]
[Rowan, Crying]
Ride the train!
[Crying, Shouting] We're
just gonna wait here for now.
Little
Oops, a little bit of waiting.
[Crying]
Why can't let's go soon, Daddy?
[Screaming]
So he's developed
an obsession with this train.
And not just with the train,
but with these animals here.
Sometimes I've hung out here...
for up to two or three hours
at a time sometimes.
And I've probably ridden
this train 200 times.
[Crying] [Woman]
Want him on the train?
If you can. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
[Squeals]
[Rupert] Well, that was
lucky. They let us on.
[Rupert] But it can be quite lonely,
sometimes, as you can imagine.
I mean, we spent, you know,
the last two and a half years like this
a lot of the time,
and.. it's very rare that you can ever get
anyone to come along and do this with you.
And it can get a little lonely.
It's one of the things which I think all
parents of autistic kids have to deal with.
[Rudin] I think before a
parent can come to acceptance,
there's an enormous amount
of grieving that has to be done.
I think people are dealing with loss,
from the loss of a dream.
I see what comes up
ls exhaustion...
from dealing with
behavior problems a Jot,
from dealing with an environment...
that looks at the parent as if
they're doing something wrong...
because they see a kid
that's tantruming...
and they just assume that maybe
the parent isn't handling it well.
People just don't understand
what they're going through.
[Crying]
There are so many fears...
that their child
their adult child
will be taken advantage of,
that there won't be
a place for them.
I've worked with families whose
adult children are not toilet trained.
They worry that
they won't have any friends,
that they'll be all alone,
and when their family goes,
or their parents go,
there won't be anybody
around to care for them.
[Narrating] Our final destination
was far north, near the Russian border,
to try and find a group of Indigenous people
called the Dukha, the reindeer herders.
Before man ever rode a horse,
he rode the reindeer,
the first large animal to be domesticated
at the end of the last ice age.
Now reduced to just 200 people,
the Dukha tribe
and everyone agreed on this
Had the strongest
shamanic tradition of all.
[Rupert] So we're on the second to
last day of our long drive, and we just
- [Rowan] Reindeer people.
- [Chuckles] He wants to get to the reindeer people so bad.
[Rowan] This is for Mommy,
and this is for Mommy and Tulga,
and this is for Mommy and Tomoo,
and this is for Mommy
and Tom
And this is for Mommy
and Tomoo.
[Chattering]
[Man]
What's for Mommy and Tomoo?
Hey, Rowan. What's for Mommy,
Tomoo, Daddy and Tulga?
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Rupert]
That was a giant, giant...
motherfucker of a poo last night.
Oh, God, I'm getting
so depressed about that.
You know, I just have
these visions of him at 14.
Still shitting his pants.
I know.
I don't fully understand
why he's so resistant.
[Kristin] So, how are
we going to deal with that?
Jo try to get him to accept
the horses again?
I'm afraid that he'll just
That he's set up an autistic pattern,
where he'll just roundly reject it...
because it represents...
some unpleasant memory.
And then when we get to the horses
again, yes, of course I'm worried.
And, of course, I'll feel
a failure and humiliated...
and all these things if
If he roundly rejects it.
Um, so, thank you for...
pressing that insecurity button
in me this morning.
That's very
Aw. I was trying to [
Chuckles] I'm only kidding.
I'm just trying to
also prepare myself.
[Narrating] That morning, we waited
for the guides and their horses to arrive,
to lead us north to the reindeer camps
closer to the Russian border.
From here on,
there were no more roads.
We'd have to leave the van.
I worried and fretted. Would Rowan get back
on a horse, or would he reject them again?
Would we actually
be able to do this?
[Rupert] Come on, Rowan.
Let's go. [Rowan Screaming]
Okay.
[Rowan Muttering]
Come on, Rowan.
Okay.
There we go. Good job.
It's all right. It's all right.
There we go.
[Crying]
Sit like that. There we go.
It's all right. There we go.
[Rowan Crying]
It's all right. Yes, yes.
Do you want to hold the reins?
[Crying]
I know.
[Crying Continues]
[Kristin] ls he closing his eyes?
Let's go. Short ride. [Wailing]
[Foreign Language]
[Rowan Muttering]
[Rupert Growling Playfully]
[Kristin Chuckles |
[Narrating] I had to find a way to
get him In a better mood and fast.
I didn't know what to do.
I was searching for inspiration.
And then, the gods of
toilet humor spoke to me.
[Rowan] What's
that? [Rupert] It's a
A Code Brown! It's a
Code Brown! [Chuckles]
It's a Code Brown!
It's a Code Brown!
Code Brown!
It's a poopie, poopie, poopie.
poopie.
What's that?
It's a
Code Brown!
Code Brown! Oh, no! Code Brown!
Code Brown! Code Brown! Code Brown!
-I Rowan] What's that?
- [Rupert Gasps] Rhinoceros having a Code Brown.
What's that?
That's a
Code Brown! Code
Brown! [Chuckling]
[Rowan] I'm going through the
forest to see the reindeer people.
[Kristin] That's right. You're going through
the forest to see the reindeer people.
- [Rowan] We wanna ride the reindeer.
- [Kristin] Yes. I want to ride the reindeer.
Do you want to ride the reindeer?
[Narrating] Thank God Rowan was enjoying
riding again, enjoying the adventure,
because it took two full days
to make the ascent,
12,000 foot up to the summer pastures
of the reindeer people,
crossing rivers, negotiating bogs,
spending eight, nine hours
each day in the saddle,
wondering the whole time,
would we actually make it?
I no longer had to worry
about Rowan,
but now Kristin's exhaustion
was starting to tell.
And then, just below the highest
point of the pass, a horse kicked her.
[Kristin Shouts]
Did he actually get you? Oh.
How hard did he get you?
No, no. Just give me two.
Give me two.
Well, if he really got you
Give me two.
Oh, everything just hurts.
I've never really done
this kind of mountain riding, so I'm
I don't know if I'm going to
make it, love.
Yeah, you will.
[Chattering]
We have two hours.
So, from the pass,
we can see reindeer people.
We can see the We can see the
reindeer people, means it's very close.
[Rupert]
Oh, okay.
Yeah. We're going to have a little rest, and then
we're going to ride over to the reindeer people.
- Okay. We can go.
- See the pass up there, Rowan? On the other side?
Reindeer people.
On the other side
is the reindeer people.
We can go.
Yeah? Think you can make it?
Yeah.
Okay.
[Rupert]
Wow.
[Kristin]
Jesus. Look behind you.
[Mutters]
[Rupert]
Wow.
I don't see them, Tulga.
Yes, we're going to go around here
to the reindeer people.
The reindeer are just around
the corner, are they?
The reindeer people
are just around the corner.
Let me just get back on,
'cause this is killing me.
[Groans]
[Kristin] Yeah, we said they
were right around the corner,
and we don't see them,
so I'm hoping they really are here.
Hope they didn't decide
today was moving day.
I hope I don't have to do some
difficult explaining.
[Man] Reindeer. To
your right. Where?
Oh, there's a reindeer. Look. See?
[Kristin]
There's a reindeer.
Look at it.
[Kristin]
There they are.
How about that?
Their tepees and satellite dish.
Yeah!
[Chuckles]
[Rupert Gasps] Oh,
my God. How about that?
It's the reindeer people's tepees.
Look. That's where they are.
You made it. You
made it. All the way.
You made it.
All the way.
I am so proud of you.
- [Rowan] You wanna ride the reindeer?
- We do want to ride a reindeer. Yes.
[Rupert] I really didn't know
if we were going to make it.
[Squealing, Groans]
[Rupert] We actually made
it. That's amazing. Isn't it?
[Chattering]
[Foreign Language]
[Rupert Sighs]
Oh, yeah.
[Foreign Language]
[Rupert] You can say thank
you very much for letting us...
come and drop into their
lives like this. [Laughing]
We've come a long way
from America...
because our child has autism,
and we had heard that the
shamans of the reindeer people...
were both powerful and king,
and so we thought
we would bring our boy up here,
just to see if there's
any help that could be given.
[Foreign Language]
[Foreign Language]
He says, uh, his father is the person
we are going to to meet.
Uh, he is not well,
but we can check with him.
Mm-hmm.
[Foreign Language]
[Men Speaking Foreign Language]
[Rupert] I don't even know the name
of the shaman here. What's his name?
[Tulga]
Uh, Ghoste.
He's definitely the most
powerful one in this region.
He said, uh, he can do.
Mmm.
[Narrating] Tulga reported that Ghoste needed
a full night to communicate with the spirits...
to find out whether he could
help Rowan.
Tomorrow, he'd Jet us know.
[Chattering In Foreign Language]
[Rowan] /E's a reindeer!
[Kristin] A reindeer!
[Mumbling]
Okay.
[Grunts]
Oh, I like the antlers!
[Rupert] Yeah.
I like the antlers.
He's cute.
[Both]
He's cute.
Okay. Time to get off?
All right. One more hug
and a kiss on the neck.
[Kristin Chuckles I
Aw!
-[Tulga] Yeah. It's fine.
- [Rupert] It's okay?
- Let's go hold the baby reindeer.
- [Kristin] You wanna hug the baby reindeer?
[Rupert] Let's go hug the
baby reindeer. Are they cute?
They have tiny little horns.
[Kristin]
The horns are just starting to grow.
Abracadabra! [
Kristin] Abracadabra?
What's that? [Rupert]
That's the back.
Abracadabra.
And this? Wilbur.
[Mumbling]
And... Wilbur...
and Will...
and Lucy and Paige and Portia.
[Kristin Laughs] That's
amazing. [Rupert] That's amazing.
Where did he get those names?
[Mumbling]
What did he say?
Daisy and Wilbur?
[Rupert] I've never seen him just
spontaneously name a bunch of animals.
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
9:00. Okay.
[Grunting]
All right.
Let's go see the shaman.
[Tulga] He said he did
some ritual last night
[Rupert] Uh-huh. And now he will
be in his costume and will talk to him...
a little bit. [
Rupert] Thank you.
[Rowan]
What's that?
[Rupert]
It's eagle feathers, like an eagle.
[Rowan]
Then we can see a hawk in a house.
- [Rupert] Mm-hmm.
- The hawk was in the house.
- [Rupert] The hawk was in the house. That's right.
- [Rowan Muttering]
[Rupert] Here's the
drum. [Kristin] The drum.
[Drum Beating]
[Rowan Vocalizes]
[Kristin Chuckling]
[Rupert] Oh, Rowan, no, no, no,
no, no, no. [Kristin] No, no. No, no.
[Rowan] No, no, no. No. [Kristin]
No, don't touch the eagle feathers.
[Rupert] Don't go for his face.
Sit. [Rowan Imitating Eagle Calls]
Sit with your daddy.
[Groans]
[Imitating Eagle]
There we go.
[Drum Beating]
[Rupert] Drums.
[Rowan Mutters]
Don't touch.
Just sit. Just sit quietly.
[Rupert] Sit quiet with Daddy.
[Kristin] Sit quietly.
[Rowan] Wow.
[Rupert] Wow. [Rowan]
Wow, that's a shaman.
He's an eagle.
He's an
He's got him on the tree.
An eagle nest.
A mommy bird
and a baby bird.
[Rupert] Drink. Drink. [
Kristin] Drink the water.
[Rowan Whines] [Kristin]
Drink the water. Drink it. It's okay.
Drink.
Drink it.
[Drum Beating]
[Muttering In Foreign Language]
[Tulga] He says he'll be
fine. [Rowan Muttering]
[Foreign Language]
Uh-huh. He thinks he will be
better by tomorrow.
[Rupert] Okay. [
Foreign Language]
[Rupert]
Uh-huh.
[Tulga] He said he will
come visit us tomorrow.
[Kristin] Okay. [
Rupert] Very good.
That's what
- He He said he's leaving this area tomorrow.
- [Rupert] Okay.
[Foreign Language]
[Rupert] Uh-huh.
Before it gets too dark,
you have to leave.
[Rupert] Okay. All
right. [Kristin] Okay.
Tell him thank you.
Thank you.
[Foreign Language]
Take care of your kid.
Thank you. We will.
We will.
[Rowan Chattering]
Shamans!
You want more shamans?
Do you want more shamans?
[Screaming]
Aw.
Shamans!
[Kristin] There's the shaman.
There. There's the shaman.
Say Bye-bye.
Say Bye-bye.
Say See you tomorrow, Rowan.
[Mumbles]
Say See you tomorrow.
[Foreign Language]
Okay. We must go.
Tulga, we must go, he says.
[Rowan Crying, Wailing]
[Rowan Chattering]
[Rowan Chattering]
Shaman!
[Rupert] You wanted to
stay there, didn't you? [Cries]
[Rupert]
Well, I expected him to be...
tantruming like that because
he didn't want to see the shaman,
and didn't want to be in the tent,
not because he had to leave.
That's extraordinary.
It's wonderful.
[Tulga]
[Chattering]
[Grinker] One way of explaining an illness
is to say, Oh, this person is sick.
Another way of explaining
an illness is to say,
This is a different type of person,
and they will have
a different role in society.
One of the most common things that anthropologists
have found among, uh, healers, like shamans,
is that, almost always,
people who are shamans,
no matter whether they're in East
Africa, or whether they're in Central Asia,
or South America, or Australia,
they have gone through
some sickness.
And often that illness is an illness...
with a constellation of symptoms
that are certainly neuropsychiatric.
The shamans don't show neurological
symptoms because they're shamans.
They become shamans because
they had these neurological symptoms.
We don't know why,
but one thing we do know...
is that the line between what is a shaman...
and the line between, say,
a psychoanalyst,
is not that clearly drawn.
We are one of the few societies...
that treat neurological
and psychiatric difference...
by creating institutions where we
separate people completely from society.
Most other cultures
aren't like that.
[Horse Whinnies]
[Chattering]
Obviously I think there's dangers
In totally saying,
Oh, yes, it's the shamans, and...
completely buying into
that symbol system as well.
I think I'm a little more
skeptical than Rupert.
Well, you know,
he goes up and down naturally,
and we don't know if this is
definitely a permanent gain.
So I'm a little more cautious in terms of
saying I'm hopeful and things look good.
But] do think it's important...
not to expect, like, a miracle cure.
You know, there was a little part of me
that was like, after the shamanic ceremony,
well, is he going to wake up
and be just totally normal?
And, of course, he wasn't. Um
It's outside of my normal
experience. Put it that way.
[Mutters]
We're going to the car.
[Chattering]
Maybe I should change my shirt,
after five days.
| 1[Scoffs]
Just a thought.
[Chattering]
[Narrating] Ghoste had
told us the night before...
that Rowan would become gradually
less autistic over the next three years.
But most importantly,
the stuff that really drove us crazy
The incontinence, the tantruming
These would end today.
We would start to
see them leave right now.
I was guarding my heart.
I didn't want to allow myself
to be disappointed.
There we go.
Say good-bye to shaman.
Say good-bye. [
Kristin] Good-bye.
[Chattering]
[Rowan Shouts Playfully]
[Rowan Grunts Playfully]
[Man Chuckles]
[Man Speaking Foreign Language]
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
Are you doing a taste test?
[Man Speaking Foreign Language]
[Rowan Speaking, Indistinct]
[Foreign Language]
[Speaking Foreign Language]
[Tulga] Now it's time
to He is leaving.
It's time to take Rowan. [Rupert]
Say good-bye to the shaman.
Good-bye to the shaman.
- [Man Speaks Foreign Language]
- [Rupert] Thank you for the healing.
[Narrating]
And with that,
it was finally time to go home.
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Narrating] As we rode
away, and down the mountain,
Just as Ghoste had said,
that indeed...
was when everything
began to change.
[Rowan]
Ah!
Echo!
[Kristin] Oh, my God. I can't believe
it. He's doing an intentional poo!
He just totally did it.
He did it.
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
That's the first stage to the potty.
That is success.
That is success right there.
Excellent!
Outdoor squatting poo!
Whoo-hoo!
[Camera Shutter Clicks |
[Rowan Giggling]
[Giggling]
[Giggling]
[Grunting Playfully]
[Wind Howling]
[Rupert] That's
incredible. Incredible.
Brilliant.
You are brilliant.
Brilliant! Brilliant! Rowan
poopied on the potty!
You're brilliant!
You're brilliant!
You're brilliant!
Okay, to pooping in the toilet.
[Kristin Laughs]
This is the start of something new.
Yea!
[Humming]
[Kristin] He's wanting to play
with the other kids, and not with us.
Like most normal little kids, they wanna
play with each other, not with their parents.
This has never happened before where he's just
totally involved with them and totally ignoring us.
It's amazing.
And he's one of them, you know?
Do I think it was the shamans?
My honest answer is, yeah,
of course, I do.
I'm open to the possibility
that there is...
something happening with the
shamanic way of understanding things.
But on the other hand,
I'm open to the idea...
that just when you take a kid, and you take him
to Mongolia, and you push him to their limits,
they have to confront challenges they wouldn't
otherwise, and that may be the cause of it.
[Rupert] What does it matter? What
matters is that he's leapt forward,
and that we came here,
and it happened.
That's what matters.
Now I'll say a little prayer for
all of us that live with autism,
whether we're autistic,
or whether we're the parents
of autistic kids,
or whether we know people
who have autistic kids,
whether it's our grandson,
our granddaughter,
or our nephew, or our niece,
or our kid, or our sibling.
[Sighs]
I hope This is my prayer
That we find a way...
to understand and integrate
this enigma...
into the best of our society,
and the best of who we are,
and that it helps to bring out
the best in us all.
That's my prayer.
[Match Strikes |
[Sighs]
Anyway, I'm grateful.
Thank you.
[Rupert] All right. So what I want
you to do ls I want you to take the reins.
Take the reins, like that,
in your hands and turn Betsy.
Say Come on, Betsy.
Can you say Come on, Betsy?
Come on, Betsy. And hold Lift
your hand and push across like that.
Say Come on, Betsy. That's
right. Turn her by yourself.
Say Come on, Betsy. Let's go
to the barn. Let's go to the barn.
All right. Now turn Betsy this way,
push your hand like this.
There you go.
There you go. Yeah!
Give her a little kick.
[Clicks Tongue]
Yes. And away she goes.
Excellent! You're riding.
Pull. Give the reins a pull.
Yes!
You just rode.
You just rode.
You just rode.
You just rode, you little
[Muffled] You just rode.
Thank you, Betsy.
[Kisses]
[Rupert] I don't think I
can even speak right now.
[Kristin] You push first.
Push the poopie out.
Oh, good job!
Do you have another one in there?
- [Rowan] Flush, flush.
- Flush.
Let's wash our hands.
[Flushes]
[Baron-Cohen]
I think it's very important that...
we do learn to live with autism,
in the sense that there's a lot of
adjustments our society can make...
to become more autism-friendly.
[Grinker] I really hope that as
people learn more about autism,
they will see autism
as a form of diversity.
You know, I think we need to figure out a way to
prevent some of the most severe forms of autism,
but you certainly do not want to
get rid of autism genetics,
and I get asked,
if I could snap my fingers,
would I want to be not autistic?
No, [wouldn't, because I like
the clarity of thought that I have.
[Chattering]
[Kristin] I think the thing
that's so remarkable...
is how much our lives
have changed since coming back.
It's justIt's night and day.
I can't even tell you I can't
even tell you how different it is.
[Man] What's your name? Rowan!
How are you doing?
I'm fine.
[Kristin]
He's just charming.
He's a brilliant kid.
He is.
And his kind of quirky way
of looking at all of this...
is precisely what makes him so
charming and interesting Exactly.
And fun and funny.
[Rupert] And that I've got no interest
in trying to change. None at all. No.
Quite the opposite, actually.
It's what makes him so wonderful.
No.
This is Curious George.
He lives in the zoo.
He was a good little monkey.
Patty and Atalina
are babysitting Rowan tonight.
And Rowan has said
he's happy to have them do that.
And Rupert and I are going to
go to a movie and have dinner.
You know, I'm really
starting to taste freedom.
Freedom like we haven't had
for the last six years.
And it's pretty nice.
Good-bye!
Have a fun night!
[Chattering]
[Chattering]
[Ballad]
When the gusts came around
To blow me down
I think that the family influences...
how a child views themselves.
So if the family comes to a place...
where they can accept
that their child has autism,
and love the child,
and develop a relationship,
their life is going to be much better.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Rowan &
Happy birthday to you
[Narrating]
Did Rowan get cured of his autism?
No. Rowan is still autistic.
Did Rowan get healed of the dysfunctions
that went along with his autism
The physical
and emotional incontinence,
the inconsolable tantrums,
the isolation from his peers?
Yes.
[Chattering]
[Shouting Playfully]
[Narrating] For us, this
healing was frankly miraculous.
But perhaps the real miracle...
was that we went to Mongolia
with a child suffering,
and a family suffering,
and we found healing
through whatever means.
The bottom line is that we took the
adventure, and through that adventure,
we found a way, both as
individuals, and as a family,
to break free.
Where the doors
Are moaning all day long
[Laughing]
Where the stairs are leaning
Dusk till dawn
Where the windows
Are breathing in the light
Where the rooms are
A collection of our lives
This is a place
Where I don't feel alone
This is a place
That I call my home
[Crickets Chirping]
[Rupert] So, this is
the New Trail Center,
and we have
founded..
An equestrian and
autism learning facility...
in central Texas, near
Elgin, Texas, where we live.
Good. Now we're
walking. That's a walk.
The schoolhouse
here is all set up...
for teaching
special needs.
We have a number of good
qualified therapists now...
coming in and working with
us on the non-horse side.
As you can see, there's a
jot of happy kids here now.
[Chattering]
[Ballad]
[Woman Singing, Indistinct]
One. Good. And?
One. Two.
And? One.
One and two.
And what?
And one.
Yeah!
And two.
- And one?
- One.
Love is
Letting
Go
How many times
We've had to die
Be broken down
And yet rise
And we fought
And we've flown
We have faltered
And we've grown
Are we
Finding
Love
Does love mean
Letting
Go
And I'll climb
That mountain one day
This is
A moment
Of grace
[Chorus Vocalizing]
[Muttering]
[Woman Sighs]
[Woman] I don't know if
I'm going to make it, love.
[Man] Yeah, you will.
[Exhales]
[Man]
I don't see them, Tulga.
[Birds Chirping]
[Man]
What's your name?
What's your name?
[Man Narrating] In April 2004, my
son Rowan was diagnosed with autism.
The feeling was like being hit..
Across the face with a baseball bat.
Grief Shame.
This weird, irrational shame, like I'd somehow
cursed this child by giving him my faulty genetics.
Watching horrified as he began
drifting away to another place.
[Crying]
But this story isn't about
the tragedy of autism.
This is a story about how, as a family,
we did something crazy.
How we ended up going
halfway across the world...
In search of a miracle,
but let's start at the beginning.
December 27, 2001.
My wife, 8 months pregnant, and I
were at a friend's house having tea...
when, like something straight out of a
movie, she suddenly went into contractions.
One quick C-section later, while they
brought Kristin round from the anesthetic,
I stood alone in the private room
with this little boy...
we'd already decided
to call Rowan.
The clock on the wall said
half past midnight...
Which meant, I realized, that Rowan
had decided to come into the world...
exactly seven years to the day,
and almost to the hour,
that Kristin and I
had first spoken.
Are we going to tell the story
of how we met?
Well, you start because
the first day I didn't talk to you.
That's right. Of course she
wouldn't talk to me. [Laughing]
Um, who would?
I wouldn't.
But we met in India.
[Narrating] I'd been hired to
write a guidebook to the region.
She was there doing research
for her PhD in psychology.
We couldn't have been
more different.
I was British,
brought up partly in London,
and partly on a farm
training horses.
Kristin was a suburban girl
from California.
But the moment I saw her, a
voice in my head said, clear as day,
That's your wife.
Yeah, that's right. The first night
he said, he asked me to marry him,
and, um
Must have been mad.
Yeah, and I -
And I said, How many women
have you asked to marry you before?
So I lied and said, None.
Oh, it was a lie?
[Narrating] We embarked on
seven years of travel and adventure.
We finally married,
and settled in Texas,
where Kristin got a job
as a professor of psychology.
And I continued my career
in journalism and human rights,
working mainly with the Bushmen
of Southern Africa's Kalahari.
When Rowan was born,
and we began living as a family,
it was like everything had finally
fallen into place.
Swing me just a little bit higher
Oba dia do
And then, it all fell apart.
[Crying, Shrieking]
[Narrating] The world
had once been our oyster.
Now it had narrowed down
to just getting through the next day.
No one could even give us a definitive
explanation of what autism even was.
Now autism obviously means a lot
of different things to a lot of people.
One could argue that people
have different definitions.
All right, I'll have a go.
Autism is due to
neurological abnormalities...
in the early growth of the brain.
Autism is
a neurological impairment...
that influences a person's ability...
to view the world
in a socially typical way.
[Grandin] I had to learn social
skills. Social skills can be taught.
But sort of social chitchat just for
social relatedness, I'm not into that.
In autism the brain is able to
detect more information.
If their brain is being flooded by
lots of detail that the rest of us miss,
that could simply get in the way
of being able to interact socially.
In addition the person
has very narrow interests...
in specific topics sometimes
these are called obsessions.
Today we see autism
as a big spectrum...
that can range from
the severely mentally retarded person...
who is completely nonverbal...
to somebody who is a socially awkward
mathematics or physics professor.
[Narrating] Our lives became
clogged under a mountain...
of conflicting literature
and information on the disorder.
The possible causes,
treatments and prognosis.
[Crying]
We tried everything.
Behavioral analysis, pills,
creams, diets
We were out of options.
He didn't speak to us,
spent hours lining up
objects obsessively,
was completely isolated
from other kids...
and subject to endless tantrums.
[Crying]
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
His tantrums came in waves,
several times a day,
lasting sometimes up to four hours.
Autism tantrums,
they're not like normal tantrums.
They're often neurological in origin,
which means the child is unreachable,
impossible even to console.
Point to where it hurts. Does it
hurt here? [Crying, Coughing]
Did it hurt here?
[Shrieking]
Is it here?
He's got a red mark here.
That's a big mosquito bite.
I think maybe that mosquito
bite has inflamed It's gone.
The flea is gone.
The what is gone?
The flea? The
flea? There's a flea?
Okay. Oh, oh
[Groaning, Crying]
[Crying] Hey. Do you
want to see the baby goats?
Goats? [Crying] Baby goats?
[Rowan]
Penguin!
More hippo.
Here we go.
I want more hippo.
You want more hippo?
[Narrating] I'd been keeping
Rowan away from horses,
because I thought
he was unsafe around them.
But one day, he ran away from me
onto the property of my neighbor, Stafford,
and ran right up to his old mare,
a horse called Betsy.
She didn't spook.
Instead, her reaction was so gentle,
so submissive,
I realized immediately that
he had some direct line to her.
The moment I put Rowan
on Betsy's back, he began to speak.
He's a nice horse.
This deep relaxation,
it's such a rare thing for him.
There's something going on
between them that...
Even with all my years of dealing
with horses, I just have never seen.
It's this mystery
but it's a very beautiful mystery.
Just like autism is a mystery.
Feels like a
A warm sunny day after winter.
[Narrating] As Rowan began
to open up to me for the first time,
a light bulb went on in my head.
I asked myself; why does autism have
to mean the shutting down of everything?
Why couldn't it be
a gateway into adventure?
Maybe even
a gateway into healing?
- [Voices Chanting]
- [Narrating] It may sound odd,
but I have something of a history
with traditional healing.
In the course of my work
with the Bushmen,
I had, during the previous 10 years,
been introduced into their world
of healing through the use of a shaman.
The Bushmen,
and many peoples like them,
address their spiritual dilemmas,
their health dilemmas,
their social dilemmas,
even their political dilemmas,
through the use of a trained
shaman, who enters a state of trance,
talks to the spirits,
and comes back with an answer.
As unbelievable as it may sound, in
my years of working with the Bushmen,
I have seen many times, people
cured of a variety of illnesses this way.
So I asked myself,
was there a place on earth...
that combined this kind of
shamanic healing with horses?
I did some research.
It turned out that the place where
horseback riding actually originated...
is the same place,
the one place on earth,
where shamanism
is in fact the state religion:
Mongolia.
-[Rupert] You want to jump with Betsy?
- [Rowan] Jump with Betsy!
Okay, let's jump with Betsy.
Betsy!
Okay, let's go!
Oh! Oh, no! Betsy!
[Rupert Narrating]
What if we were to go there,
riding on horseback
from healer to healer?
What if we were
to do something like that?
When he first proposed the idea
I just looked at him like,
this is crazy.
We have an autistic son.
Incredibly difficult to deal with
just getting through each day.
This is the absolute last thing
we need in our life right now...
is to go to Mongolia on horseback.
I justIt's just insane.
I mean, I don't even like horses.
We're going to try to keep our
tantruming autistic son on the horse?
Going from shaman to shaman?
Is this going to work?
[Rupert Narrating]
But that, eventually,
is exactly what
I convinced her to do;
together we were to set off from Ulaanbaatar,
meeting with shamans along the way,
then to a sacred lake,
Lake Sharga,
known for its healing waters,
and finally, if we could find them,
to the mysterious reindeer herders,
who live in the far north...
where, I heard, the most
powerful healer in all Mongolia lived.
Aero-plane!
Aero-plane!
This is just It's just
absurd. [Chuckles]
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Rupert Narrating]
Our guide, Tulga,
picked us up at the airport and
took us into the capital, Ulaanbaatar.
I don't know what I was
expecting exactly,
but this depressed, post-Soviet city
wasn't quite it.
I'd expected the open steppe.
Nomads, horses,
Genghis Khan and all his warriors,
not an urban slum.
I think it wasn't exactly
Rowan's vision of Mongolia.
[Rupert] So look, here
we are in the autism world.
I'm preparing his morning
chocolate milk.
These are all meds
that are related to his autism.
This is Valtrex,
which is the drug for herpes.
Okay, so we're gonna
grind this up.
Then there's the heavy metals.
This is to help him metabolize the
heavy metals that we know are in his body.
Vitamin E.
Yeast defense.
So this is to sort of help him
with his gut.
[Kristin] Which isn't helping. Which
doesn't appear to be doing anything at all,
but it can't do him any harm
so what the hell.
And then this one here I even forget
why we're giving him this one here.
[Kristin] That's right it's
another type of antiviral...
that the doctor thinks might help as
well to supplement the Valtrex. Right.
So, shake it up.
Okay. That's ready for
him when he gets up.
Nobody knows
what really causes autism.
Autism, like many other disorders,
is very complex.
[Baron-Cohen] These days
there is a consensus that genetics...
is going to be
at the root of the cause.
But we know that genes are not
going to be the whole explanation.
Recently, there seems to be more
problems with very severe autism...
that remains nonverbal,
and is regressive autism.
And I'm very concerned about
environmental contaminants.
[Man] One theory of autism
is that individuals with autism...
are, you might say,
a reaction to our environment.
There's a Jot of pollutants out there,
there's heavy metals, there are pesticides.
This is having a huge impact
on the human body.
There isn't much doubt that...
an environmental factor
will eventually be established.
And it may be that it has to
interact with the genes.
That that environmental factor
only contributes to autism...
in an individual who's already
got a genetic susceptibility.
[Rupert Narrating]
Before our arrival,
Tulga had been putting the word out
that Rowan was coming.
The result was that shamans were traveling
in from all over the country for the healing,
in what we were told would be
the largest gathering of shamans...
since the end of Communism.
[Rowan Muttering]
[Rupert]
We're going up to the sacred mountain...
outside of Ulaanbaatar
Tsegan Ul is the name of it.
And, um, nine shamans...
are going to meet us there,
and perform a ritual on Rowan.
I'm quite hopeful.
I think it could be...
Interesting for all of us.
We're going to do what
all normal families do on a
What day is it today
morning.
Um, we're going to go up
a several-thousand-foot mountain...
and perform a four-hour ritual
with shamans.
Isn't that what all families do?
[Rowan Screaming]
Come here!
We gotta go back!
[Crying]
Ruin!
[Crying Continues]
[Chattering]
[Rupert] Tell you what, Rowan. Let's
go take a little walk down to the river.
- Do you want to have a walk down to the river?
- [Rowan] I walk down to the river.
[Chanting In Foreign Language]
[Speaking Foreign Language]
[Rupert] Hello.
Thank you for seeing us.
Uh, is really happy
to receive you in Mongoli land,
and, uh, his land
and our land.
You come here and,
really happy to receive you here.
[Rupert]
Well, we're very grateful to be here.
[Singing In Foreign Language]
Don't step on that, sweetie.
He's all right.
[Drumming]
[Singing In Foreign Language]
[Woman Speaking Foreign Language]
[Tulga]
[Kristin]
Yeah. Mental illness.
[Rupert Narrating]
In fact, all the shamans concurred..
That a recent ancestor,
a female ancestor, on Kristin's side,
was somehow clinging to Rowan.
Perhaps trying to harm him,
or even pull him away.
[Drumming, Singing] [Rupert]
if he doesn't want to have a drink of it,
ls it okay, or can we?
[Chattering] Have some
water. Here's some more water.
Have some water. Water.
Out of the box. Water.
Water.
Water. Water.
What's that?
It's water.
It's water. It's white water. White
water. Tastes like water. Taste it.
[Rupert]
Just take a little sip.
[Rowan Shouting]
Water!
Take a little drink.
[Rowan Vocalizing]
Drink! Water, water! Water!
[Bell Jingling]
[Tulga]
Uh-huh.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Can it be over the clothes?
No? Okay. All right.
Okay, okay.
[Rupert Narrating] The shamans
also said that a black energy...
had entered Kristin's womb
during the pregnancy.
Yeah, just don't show my cellulite,
that's all I ask.
All right.
You can Photoshop that, can't you?
[Crying]
[Woman Vocalizing]
I don't want this.
[Crying]
I've gotta go see the shaman.
[Rupert Narrating]
I couldn't help wondering,
did I really have his best interest
at heart here?
Was I being a terrible father?
I didn't know.
[Man, Faint]
There is a house built out of stone
- Wooden floors, walls and window sills
- Is he gonna whip me?
[Tulga]
Tables and chairs
worn by all of the dust
This is a place
Where I don't feel alone
This is a place
[Tulga]
Okay.
[Rupert] Remember, you're
not allowed to cry out, love.
[Grunts]
[Tulga]
Higher.
High.
Higher.
[Chattering]
[Panting]
[Tulga]
Okay, that's fine.
Okay, it's all gone now.
All right. Okay.
[Kristin Chuckles I
Yeah, I have them too.
Well done.
I'm proud of you.
[Chuckling]
Come here. Come here.
[Laughing]
Excuse my craziness.
[Rupert Narrating] And then something
happened. Something was ref eased.
Rowan began laughing, giggling,
playing with the shamans.
Hey!
[Laughing]
We were together again,
as a family.
Until
It disappeared
From me
From you
[Rupert Narrating] Clouds gathered.
A cool wind got up, and the rains came.
A very good sign,
said the shamans.
To leave
And turn
[Drumming]
[Rupert]
Thank you.
[Rupert Narrating]
After the last shaman had finished,
Rowan turned to
this small Mongolian boy...
who'd been there
at the ceremony.
And right out of the blue, hugged
him, and said, Mongolian brother.
He'd never done
anything like this before.
The boy's name was Tomoo,
the 6-year-old son of Tulga, our guide.
After seeing the boys' interaction,
Tulga decided to bring Tomoo
on the trip with us.
[Chattering]
[Engine Starting]
[Rupert Narrating]
Next morning, we set off...
into the great interior of Mongolia.
Ten hours' drive
to the first nomad camp,
where we were
to meet the guides and horses...
who would take us to Lake Sharga
and its healing waters.
[Grunting Playfully]
- Are they gonna play together?
- I think they might.
[Cooing]
[Kristin] This is very unusual.
[Rupert] This is totally unusual.
[Kristin] Playing with another
kid like that. Very unusual.
I haven't seen him do that kind
of interactive play before,
ever, actually.
No. No, no.
The most he's ever done
with another child is play chase.
But to actually have a sword fight
and then Never done that before.
Talking about being a pirate.
Never done that before.
Take this pirate ship.
[Rupert]
Very, very cool kid, Tulga's son.
[Kristin]
Yeah.
That's really encouraging.
Isn't it.
How do you like it?
You don't like it?
I don't like it?
OrOr, you like it? Or?
Oh, yeah! No, no,
I'm doing a little dance.
Okay. [Chuckles]
[Rupert Narrating] All I know
is we went to see the shaman,
and now, two days later, we're
seeing even more involved play...
that I've never
seen before ever.
ls this because of the shamans?
Isn't this because of the shamans?
All I know is, we went to the
shamans, and now this is happening.
Hey, Rowan, can you go poopie
on the potty?
Can you go poopie on the potty?
Yes, I do.
Yes, you do!
Do a poopie!
Do a poopie!
No!
No?
Can you do poopie on the potty?
All done! All done?
All done poopie?
[Kristin's Voice] I don't think he's
ever successfully gone poo in the potty.
Pretty much everything the books
tell you you should try doing, we've tried
and have had no success.
We took him out of diapers because we just
thought if we didn't, he'd be in diapers forever.
So we just have him
wear underwear,
and hope that...
it's going to be so uncomfortable
pooping in your underwear...
that he'll eventually
be potty-trained.
Although it doesn't seem to be
working out that way very much.
All right, let me just
make sure you're covered.
[Kristin's Voice]
If I could make one wish for
the Mongoli trip, if they could like,
heal his resistance
to using the potty.
That is a very big wish.
He could finally learn
to use the potty.
It would make our lives
tremendously easier.
I'm so tired of changing poopie
underpants, I can't even tell you.
[Rupert] Man. Yuck.
[Rowan Grunts]
[Kristin]
I've got a little plastic bag in there.
Jesus Christ.
This is a bad one.
[Chuckling] Get you all
clean. You sure you want this?
[Rowan Murmuring]
Wow, that was
that was an explosion, mate.
[Rupert] I don't feel quite
as glamorous as Steve Irwin,
but I do feel like
I just wrestled with a beast.
Okay.
[Rupert's Voice] And at feast
the rainstorm hasn't hit. Yet.
That was what
you call a Code Brown.
[Chattering]
[Kristin]
Here we are.
Our first night.
Horses here?
Yes. Horses here.
[Sheep Bleating]
[Rupert] We've just arrived at
our first nomadic encampment.
This is Rowan's first introduction
to Mongolia proper.
He's just, um,
totally into it.
Oh, on we get.
[Groans]
Hold the horn.
[Tulga]
For tonight, we set up tent.
Of course, the kitchen makes food.
Also, the horses are already there,
and we will be seeing our horses,
which have been prepared for us.
So they've been trained horses for...
three days, minimum, yeah.
[Sheep Bleating]
Right?
So we're going to be riding on horses that
have never been ridden by Westerners before.
This should be interesting.
[Chuckles]
Oh, dear.
[Kristin]
Mmm. God, this is beautiful.
[Bleating Continues]
[Shouting Playfully]
Oh, hello, mister goats!
No, I'm with the goats.
In we go.
[Rupert Narrating] Rowan's
relationship with animals is extraordinary.
All these animals are
incredibly tolerant of him.
They let him do stuff that neurotypical
kids often can't get away with.
[Blowing Raspberries, Vocalizing]
He He picks them up,
he chucks them around.
And they won't
the cat won't scratch him.
The goats just sort of go limp
and let him do this.
And we see this time and time
again. He's got something with animals.
And he's always been obsessed
with animals.
[Grinker] People with autism
often have incredibly special talents.
And they do things better than
somebody that might not have autism.
For example, the ability to
focus on a very narrow topic,
to the exclusion of everything else,
may be a very positive thing.
We've come across some
who are excellent painters,
excellent musicians,
excellent at math.
[Grand in] You wouldn't have
any electricity in this building.
You wouldn't have any camera
to film this interview.
Any of these things if you didn't have
people on some degree on the autism spectrum.
[Baron-Cohen] So some of those
genes that are involved in autism...
may also have been
very important as contributors...
to the success of humanity.
[Rupert]
So now this week, I came in,
and I found that he had started...
putting his animals in boxes,
and sorting them.
Look all the birds
are in this box here.
The rhinos
and the pigs are together.
They are biologically close
to each other.
No one's told him this.
The camel, the bison
and the musk ox are together
The large cloven-hoofed animals.
Now it gels interesting.
This is plains game:
buffalo, zebra, kudu,
gemsbok antelope.
He knows that these animals
group together. He must
I guess he's observed this
in a wildlife documentary.
Um, and then over here all by itself
in a special box, is the horse.
So, he's categorizing correctly,
at age four,
the genuses and species, and
what their relationship is to each other.
But no one's told him this.
So this, if you like,
is a really good allegory...
of the mind of the autistic kid.
InIn some ways, um,
really advanced.
But also, if you say,
Hi, little boy, what's your name?
He'll completely blank you.
[Nickering]
[Tulga]
But the locals, they say to us, um,
you brought the rain.
It hasn't been raining like this.
They like to say, uh,
the man bringing rain...
has to be really,
really good person.
So we respect the person...
and offer many good foods...
and be more polite with the people.
So, Tulga, do you want to just
tell us what we've got here?
We got sausages, and, um,
lung and liver, and hearts.
[Chuckling]
Oh. Cheers.
Thank you for having us.
[Tulga Translating]
All right, so, I'm going to start with this
one. [Tulga] Piece by piece. Mm-hmm.
This is the
I think it's the lung.
Mmm, lung, my favorite.
That's, um,
really challenging.
You're enjoying this,
aren't you? Oh, yeah.
[Laughing]
I'm enjoying.
That's, um
I can only say this in English,
but that's really horrible.
Um, but I'm going to eat it anyway.
[Tulga]
It can go...
pretty good with, uh,
some fats with it.
Look!
There's Daddy!
[Rowan] Whoo-hoo! Hey.
[Man]
Hey!
[Rowan]
No, thank you!
[Laughing]
Car!
Do you wanna go into my car?
Take Here.
Carl Car!
Car.
I want a car.
Go to the car?
Let's go to the car.
- [Kristin] Yeah. We'll go to the car.
- But, you know
Car!
To the car.
[Kristin] To the car?
Say, Car, please, Daddy.
[Rupert]
I'm feeling a little anxious right now.
Um, I don't know
if I'm doing the right thing.
It just makes you feel a little bit like, what are we putting
him through? It is hard. It's stressful. It's difficult.
[Rupert]
Guys, we have to get moving.
Car! Car! Car!
[Rupert]
We've waited almost too long.
All right, I'm going to keep
getting moving. Let's get moving.
[Rupert Narrating] I'd never seen Rowan reject a horse before.
[Rowan Crying]
Never seen him tantrum
on a horse.
The horse was always the place
where his tantrums went away.
[Rupert Sighs] I can't ride on the
horse. I'm just so tired and exhausted.
Really? And we've only been
You have to kick every single step.
Do you want to take this horse?
And to trot I've got to like [Grunts]
Do you want to take this horse?
If you can change saddles.
Um, it'll take long to change.
Do you need that saddle?
I'll ride in the van. Jeremy's going
to ride and see if he does better.
[Rupert] Jeremy!
[Kristin] Jeremy?
Sit tight! Sit tight!
Sit tight!
Whoa! Oh, dear!
OhOh, Shit!
[Rupert Chuckling]
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh, man.
See, it is a butt-fucker of a horse!
Are you okay, sweetie? [Rupert] You
wanna get down? Okay, you can get down.
But the problem is
every time we stop like this
Mummy.
You want to go see Mummy?
You want to ride in the car
with Mummy for a bit?
Okay. Oh!
I'm sorry.
I'm in a very negative mood.
That was one of the most uncomfortable
half hours I've ever spent in my life.
All right. Well, enjoy the ride in
the car for a bit. [Sighs] Okay.
[Rupert Narrating] And so, my son
took off, into the center of Mongolia,
in the back of a van with
leopard-skin seats and pink curtains.
[Vocalizes]
And...
count!
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, stop!
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, stop!
You want to do that? Yes, please,
or no, thank you? Yes, please!
Okay, let's do it!
And, one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, stop!
[Rowan Laughing]
[Chuckling]
[Rupert]
In my daydream,
this trip to Mongolia
would bring him by himself riding.
Him not having to sit there
in the saddle with me.
Him riding, by himself.
[Rupert Narrating] Every parent
who has this passionate interest...
wants to share that passionate
interest with their child.
But it's more than that.
If Rowan can ride, then he's free.
Then he's got freedom.
If that's something that could
come of this trip, then...
that alone would be
Would be everything to me.
...seven, eight, nine, stop!
[Rowan Laughing]
[Rupert Narrating] Eventually
we let him out to play at a river,
and Tulga took off with the van
to try and find a mountain...
where he could get
a cell phone reception.
That was a mistake.
The van was now Rowan's anchor
of comfort in this unfamiliar place.
Now it suddenly wasn't there.
The result?
Total meltdown.
Oh, oh, oh, he's pooing, I think.
Are you going poopie? [Crying]
[Rowan]
Gotta get clean.
Okay, we can use water
from the water bottle.
Switch off the camera
and come and help us.
[Rowan Crying, Screaming]
Wrong!
We gotta go home!
[Rupert Singing, Indistinct]
Eagle! Eagle!
What's wrong?
The van's coming.
The van will be here in about one minute. Already.
Do you see? Yep. There it is. See, there's the van.
The van's over there.
[Crying]
You want me, hon? You
want me, hon? Oh, poor darling.
Okay, van's coming.
Van's coming. [Fussing]
Van's coming. Van's
coming. There's the van.
You do?
[Sighs]
[Rupert]
I completely fucked up.
I turned,
through just not thinking straight,
a delightful experience for him, into
a pretty traumatic experience for him.
And what that is teaching me...
is I've got to abandon
any adult agenda.
And it's funny, I hadn't even really realized
until this moment that I kind of had one.
So I let him down.
And the important thing
ls just to...
remember why we're here,
and why we're here is for him.
It's the good and the right lesson
to have learned.
Grr.
[Chuckling]
[Kristin Laughing]
Up!
Down.
[Laughing]
Up!
Down.
[Rupert]
Get the geese! Get Tomoo.
[Rowan] Chase the geese!
We're chasing the geese!
[Grunting, Growling Playfully]
I guess I'm forgiven.
[Laughing]
[Rupert] It's pretty cool, huh?
[Man] What an adventure.
What an adventure.
I love my son.
And he loves you.
That's a good thing.
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
Yes, Tommy was a piper's son
He learned to play when he was young
But the only tune that he would play
Was Over the Hills and Far Away
O'er the hills and o'er the main
Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain
King George commands and we obey
Over the hills and far away
There's 40 shillings on the drum
For those who volunteer to come
To list and fight the foe today
Over the hills and far away
O'er the hills and o'er the main
Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain
King George commands and we obey
Over the hills and far away
Over the hills and far away
And I would love you all the day
Every night would kiss and play
I for me you gladly
Stray
Over the hills and
[Rowan Joining In]
Over the hills and
Far away
Over the hills and far away
[Kisses] I love you.
[Sniffles]
Mmm.
[Rowan Babbling]
Well, it's true. I'm a I'm a better
father because of his autism.
I never thought I'd say that.
But there's no question.
I don't think I would have been...
that great a dad otherwise.
All right, mate. Do you want to
eat, or do you want to go up to bed?
[Indistinct]
You want to go up to bed. Okay.
I'm a better father because I
his autism forced me to listen
to what interested him above all else,
and implement it
because I had no choice.
Um, I'm glad now
that I had no choice.
It was tough at the time, but...
we're onto something good here.
[Kristin]
Whoo!
Very traditional Mongolian fire.
[Man Singing In Foreign Language]
[Mongolians Singing]
[Kristin] Since the ceremony, I've
been having these really vivid dreams,
and I dreamt that I saw my
grandmother happy, walking away,
like she had let go of Rowan.
My dreams have been
so powerful lately.
I mean, normally, I don't remember
my dreams at all, but I have been here.
But there is definitely a connection with,
you know, my grandmother.
All her grief and sadness,
and that tendency,
that kind of negativity
my grandmother really had.
I mean, in away,
she was a black hole.
What's interesting is, you know, because I have
a difficult time wholly understanding spirits.
I mean, I-To be honest,
I don't really believe in spirits,
you know,
as kind of actual entities.
I believe in them more
as symbolic entities.
What's interesting is that
I really saw it as, um
I saw her spirit as a symbol,
or maybe the actual, who knows,
of that tendency in the female line...
on my mother's side, um,
of this real clinging,
and just kind of..
Rage against not wanting things to
be other than as they want them to be.
And it's been passed down
from her to my mother to me, to Rowan.
My rational mind says,
what does all this mean?
But, you know,
there's some connection there.
[Chattering]
This is a good-bye photograph.
Good-bye photograph.
One, two, three.
[Foreign Language]
[Shutter Clicks]
[All Chuckling]
Good-bye, Blackie.
[Kisses]
[Men Speaking Foreign Language]
[Tulga]
[Kristin] Maybe we can ask the locals
if they know which one is good for the brain.
[Rupert] Do you think we could
visit the one that's good for the brain?
[Rupert]
Yes, let's do that.
[All Laughing]
Bye-bye!
Say Bye-bye, Blackie! [Narrating]
We decided to take the old man's advice...
and head to Lake Sharga
and the healing spring,
where, so they said,
we could wash away our suffering.
So, back into the van we got,
for three days' hard travel.
The shamans had given us
some homework.
Every night,
until we left Mongolia,
we had to perform
a series of rituals,
while praying for whatever negative forces
were affecting Rowan to leave him be.
Including, as out there as it sounds
even by my standards,
the spirit of Kristin's
manic-depressive grandmother.
He's just making
cognitive advances...
at an accelerated rate
over the last few days.
I think having Tomoo along
ls, you know, key to all this.
Do you want, uh, a Rain Man cookie?
No, thank you.
Okay.
[Man]
What's it taste like?
Autistic parents
only eat Rain Man cookies.
[Laughter]
[Chuckles]
[Men Chanting In Foreign Language]
[Bell Rings]
[Chanting In Foreign Language]
Mister shamans?
[Bell Rings]
[Narrating] Here it
was. Lake Sharga.
Much more beautiful
than I thought it would be.
[Indistinct]
There's the lake.
Look at that.
I wanna go.
[Rupert] All right. Let's
get out. [Man] Let's get out.
[Kristin] I have no idea
if any of it has an effect,
or if it's just maybe...
calling up the focus
and the intention for his healing,
which in and of itself
could be quite powerful.
I don't know how useful it is
to think of...
us as normal and totally healthy, and
Rowan as the sick one, or the ill one.
I think it's way more
complicated than that.
[Rupert] We would not be having this
amazing crazy a a venture across Mongolia...
if Rowan was not autistic.
It seems like a curse in some ways,
but in many ways, it's
a real blessing. Mmm.
And to allow it to be.
Mm-hmm.
To allow it to be.
[Kristin] And also, this is Rupert's
and my life before we had Rowan.
We traveled all over the world.
Yeah, and we just thought we'd
never be able to do it again. Yeah.
You know.
And we tried a couple of times.
And it was a disaster.
Disaster, you know.
And we were terrified that this trip
would turn into a real disaster too.
And it hasn't.
Rowan's just been so into it.
And even when he was shaky the first couple
of days, he was still into it, you know.
I think something's really
shifted with him.
Yeah, he's finding his
adventurer's heart.
[Rupert]
Yeah. He is.
I can tell you, this is a
fairly hard trip in many ways.
But I've had harder car rides
to the grocery store with Rowan.
I mean, seriously.
Haven't you? It's true, yeah.
[Chattering]
[Rupert] Let's go
outside and see if it's there.
Rowan, you're too close.
[Crying]
Well, this is kind of
a good lesson in sort of
This is a high-functioning autistic kid.
You can see, like, sometimes you can go out,
and even just to make it 300 yards up a trail...
can be, like, massively stressful.
[Shouting, Crying]
Wow, you really know how to be charming when
you ask for things. Swing. [Indistinct]
[Cries]
Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Oh, look. Here are some
more dandy leaves. [Wailing]
[Whining, Squeaking]
Ooh.
[Chattering]
[Rupert] I gotta admit. I'm
feeling a little down tonight.
I don't know. Sometimes I think he's leaping forward,
and sometimes it's like he's totally regressing.
[Kristin] I know. He goes up
and down like a Ping-Pong ball.
[Rupert] Am I just kidding myself
that I'm not attached to him recovering?
Will he ever be really functional?
Will he have to go into
an institution when he's older?
Will he recover? Will he
surprise us? [Kristin] Baby cow.
Let alone will he ever ride a
horse by himself. You know.
[Sighs]
I don't know.
[Whimpers]
Oh!
[Chattering]
[Kristin]
No, no!
[Man]
Calm down.
[Chattering]
No, no, no, no.
[Squeaking]
Tonight he's basically just like
a giant 18-month-old.
And it's very painful
for me to see.
[Kristin]
Are you okay?
No, I'm down. I'm down.
[Rowan fluttering] I'm feeling like, with the
camera on me, it almost makes me want to cry.
Oh, let's go. Water on
your head. On your head!
Ready? Whoa!
[Whining]
[Squeals, Cries]
[Crying]
[Rowan Sobbing, Chattering]
[Rowan, Crying]
Ride the train!
[Crying, Shouting] We're
just gonna wait here for now.
Little
Oops, a little bit of waiting.
[Crying]
Why can't let's go soon, Daddy?
[Screaming]
So he's developed
an obsession with this train.
And not just with the train,
but with these animals here.
Sometimes I've hung out here...
for up to two or three hours
at a time sometimes.
And I've probably ridden
this train 200 times.
[Crying] [Woman]
Want him on the train?
If you can. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
[Squeals]
[Rupert] Well, that was
lucky. They let us on.
[Rupert] But it can be quite lonely,
sometimes, as you can imagine.
I mean, we spent, you know,
the last two and a half years like this
a lot of the time,
and.. it's very rare that you can ever get
anyone to come along and do this with you.
And it can get a little lonely.
It's one of the things which I think all
parents of autistic kids have to deal with.
[Rudin] I think before a
parent can come to acceptance,
there's an enormous amount
of grieving that has to be done.
I think people are dealing with loss,
from the loss of a dream.
I see what comes up
ls exhaustion...
from dealing with
behavior problems a Jot,
from dealing with an environment...
that looks at the parent as if
they're doing something wrong...
because they see a kid
that's tantruming...
and they just assume that maybe
the parent isn't handling it well.
People just don't understand
what they're going through.
[Crying]
There are so many fears...
that their child
their adult child
will be taken advantage of,
that there won't be
a place for them.
I've worked with families whose
adult children are not toilet trained.
They worry that
they won't have any friends,
that they'll be all alone,
and when their family goes,
or their parents go,
there won't be anybody
around to care for them.
[Narrating] Our final destination
was far north, near the Russian border,
to try and find a group of Indigenous people
called the Dukha, the reindeer herders.
Before man ever rode a horse,
he rode the reindeer,
the first large animal to be domesticated
at the end of the last ice age.
Now reduced to just 200 people,
the Dukha tribe
and everyone agreed on this
Had the strongest
shamanic tradition of all.
[Rupert] So we're on the second to
last day of our long drive, and we just
- [Rowan] Reindeer people.
- [Chuckles] He wants to get to the reindeer people so bad.
[Rowan] This is for Mommy,
and this is for Mommy and Tulga,
and this is for Mommy and Tomoo,
and this is for Mommy
and Tom
And this is for Mommy
and Tomoo.
[Chattering]
[Man]
What's for Mommy and Tomoo?
Hey, Rowan. What's for Mommy,
Tomoo, Daddy and Tulga?
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Rupert]
That was a giant, giant...
motherfucker of a poo last night.
Oh, God, I'm getting
so depressed about that.
You know, I just have
these visions of him at 14.
Still shitting his pants.
I know.
I don't fully understand
why he's so resistant.
[Kristin] So, how are
we going to deal with that?
Jo try to get him to accept
the horses again?
I'm afraid that he'll just
That he's set up an autistic pattern,
where he'll just roundly reject it...
because it represents...
some unpleasant memory.
And then when we get to the horses
again, yes, of course I'm worried.
And, of course, I'll feel
a failure and humiliated...
and all these things if
If he roundly rejects it.
Um, so, thank you for...
pressing that insecurity button
in me this morning.
That's very
Aw. I was trying to [
Chuckles] I'm only kidding.
I'm just trying to
also prepare myself.
[Narrating] That morning, we waited
for the guides and their horses to arrive,
to lead us north to the reindeer camps
closer to the Russian border.
From here on,
there were no more roads.
We'd have to leave the van.
I worried and fretted. Would Rowan get back
on a horse, or would he reject them again?
Would we actually
be able to do this?
[Rupert] Come on, Rowan.
Let's go. [Rowan Screaming]
Okay.
[Rowan Muttering]
Come on, Rowan.
Okay.
There we go. Good job.
It's all right. It's all right.
There we go.
[Crying]
Sit like that. There we go.
It's all right. There we go.
[Rowan Crying]
It's all right. Yes, yes.
Do you want to hold the reins?
[Crying]
I know.
[Crying Continues]
[Kristin] ls he closing his eyes?
Let's go. Short ride. [Wailing]
[Foreign Language]
[Rowan Muttering]
[Rupert Growling Playfully]
[Kristin Chuckles |
[Narrating] I had to find a way to
get him In a better mood and fast.
I didn't know what to do.
I was searching for inspiration.
And then, the gods of
toilet humor spoke to me.
[Rowan] What's
that? [Rupert] It's a
A Code Brown! It's a
Code Brown! [Chuckles]
It's a Code Brown!
It's a Code Brown!
Code Brown!
It's a poopie, poopie, poopie.
poopie.
What's that?
It's a
Code Brown!
Code Brown! Oh, no! Code Brown!
Code Brown! Code Brown! Code Brown!
-I Rowan] What's that?
- [Rupert Gasps] Rhinoceros having a Code Brown.
What's that?
That's a
Code Brown! Code
Brown! [Chuckling]
[Rowan] I'm going through the
forest to see the reindeer people.
[Kristin] That's right. You're going through
the forest to see the reindeer people.
- [Rowan] We wanna ride the reindeer.
- [Kristin] Yes. I want to ride the reindeer.
Do you want to ride the reindeer?
[Narrating] Thank God Rowan was enjoying
riding again, enjoying the adventure,
because it took two full days
to make the ascent,
12,000 foot up to the summer pastures
of the reindeer people,
crossing rivers, negotiating bogs,
spending eight, nine hours
each day in the saddle,
wondering the whole time,
would we actually make it?
I no longer had to worry
about Rowan,
but now Kristin's exhaustion
was starting to tell.
And then, just below the highest
point of the pass, a horse kicked her.
[Kristin Shouts]
Did he actually get you? Oh.
How hard did he get you?
No, no. Just give me two.
Give me two.
Well, if he really got you
Give me two.
Oh, everything just hurts.
I've never really done
this kind of mountain riding, so I'm
I don't know if I'm going to
make it, love.
Yeah, you will.
[Chattering]
We have two hours.
So, from the pass,
we can see reindeer people.
We can see the We can see the
reindeer people, means it's very close.
[Rupert]
Oh, okay.
Yeah. We're going to have a little rest, and then
we're going to ride over to the reindeer people.
- Okay. We can go.
- See the pass up there, Rowan? On the other side?
Reindeer people.
On the other side
is the reindeer people.
We can go.
Yeah? Think you can make it?
Yeah.
Okay.
[Rupert]
Wow.
[Kristin]
Jesus. Look behind you.
[Mutters]
[Rupert]
Wow.
I don't see them, Tulga.
Yes, we're going to go around here
to the reindeer people.
The reindeer are just around
the corner, are they?
The reindeer people
are just around the corner.
Let me just get back on,
'cause this is killing me.
[Groans]
[Kristin] Yeah, we said they
were right around the corner,
and we don't see them,
so I'm hoping they really are here.
Hope they didn't decide
today was moving day.
I hope I don't have to do some
difficult explaining.
[Man] Reindeer. To
your right. Where?
Oh, there's a reindeer. Look. See?
[Kristin]
There's a reindeer.
Look at it.
[Kristin]
There they are.
How about that?
Their tepees and satellite dish.
Yeah!
[Chuckles]
[Rupert Gasps] Oh,
my God. How about that?
It's the reindeer people's tepees.
Look. That's where they are.
You made it. You
made it. All the way.
You made it.
All the way.
I am so proud of you.
- [Rowan] You wanna ride the reindeer?
- We do want to ride a reindeer. Yes.
[Rupert] I really didn't know
if we were going to make it.
[Squealing, Groans]
[Rupert] We actually made
it. That's amazing. Isn't it?
[Chattering]
[Foreign Language]
[Rupert Sighs]
Oh, yeah.
[Foreign Language]
[Rupert] You can say thank
you very much for letting us...
come and drop into their
lives like this. [Laughing]
We've come a long way
from America...
because our child has autism,
and we had heard that the
shamans of the reindeer people...
were both powerful and king,
and so we thought
we would bring our boy up here,
just to see if there's
any help that could be given.
[Foreign Language]
[Foreign Language]
He says, uh, his father is the person
we are going to to meet.
Uh, he is not well,
but we can check with him.
Mm-hmm.
[Foreign Language]
[Men Speaking Foreign Language]
[Rupert] I don't even know the name
of the shaman here. What's his name?
[Tulga]
Uh, Ghoste.
He's definitely the most
powerful one in this region.
He said, uh, he can do.
Mmm.
[Narrating] Tulga reported that Ghoste needed
a full night to communicate with the spirits...
to find out whether he could
help Rowan.
Tomorrow, he'd Jet us know.
[Chattering In Foreign Language]
[Rowan] /E's a reindeer!
[Kristin] A reindeer!
[Mumbling]
Okay.
[Grunts]
Oh, I like the antlers!
[Rupert] Yeah.
I like the antlers.
He's cute.
[Both]
He's cute.
Okay. Time to get off?
All right. One more hug
and a kiss on the neck.
[Kristin Chuckles I
Aw!
-[Tulga] Yeah. It's fine.
- [Rupert] It's okay?
- Let's go hold the baby reindeer.
- [Kristin] You wanna hug the baby reindeer?
[Rupert] Let's go hug the
baby reindeer. Are they cute?
They have tiny little horns.
[Kristin]
The horns are just starting to grow.
Abracadabra! [
Kristin] Abracadabra?
What's that? [Rupert]
That's the back.
Abracadabra.
And this? Wilbur.
[Mumbling]
And... Wilbur...
and Will...
and Lucy and Paige and Portia.
[Kristin Laughs] That's
amazing. [Rupert] That's amazing.
Where did he get those names?
[Mumbling]
What did he say?
Daisy and Wilbur?
[Rupert] I've never seen him just
spontaneously name a bunch of animals.
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
9:00. Okay.
[Grunting]
All right.
Let's go see the shaman.
[Tulga] He said he did
some ritual last night
[Rupert] Uh-huh. And now he will
be in his costume and will talk to him...
a little bit. [
Rupert] Thank you.
[Rowan]
What's that?
[Rupert]
It's eagle feathers, like an eagle.
[Rowan]
Then we can see a hawk in a house.
- [Rupert] Mm-hmm.
- The hawk was in the house.
- [Rupert] The hawk was in the house. That's right.
- [Rowan Muttering]
[Rupert] Here's the
drum. [Kristin] The drum.
[Drum Beating]
[Rowan Vocalizes]
[Kristin Chuckling]
[Rupert] Oh, Rowan, no, no, no,
no, no, no. [Kristin] No, no. No, no.
[Rowan] No, no, no. No. [Kristin]
No, don't touch the eagle feathers.
[Rupert] Don't go for his face.
Sit. [Rowan Imitating Eagle Calls]
Sit with your daddy.
[Groans]
[Imitating Eagle]
There we go.
[Drum Beating]
[Rupert] Drums.
[Rowan Mutters]
Don't touch.
Just sit. Just sit quietly.
[Rupert] Sit quiet with Daddy.
[Kristin] Sit quietly.
[Rowan] Wow.
[Rupert] Wow. [Rowan]
Wow, that's a shaman.
He's an eagle.
He's an
He's got him on the tree.
An eagle nest.
A mommy bird
and a baby bird.
[Rupert] Drink. Drink. [
Kristin] Drink the water.
[Rowan Whines] [Kristin]
Drink the water. Drink it. It's okay.
Drink.
Drink it.
[Drum Beating]
[Muttering In Foreign Language]
[Tulga] He says he'll be
fine. [Rowan Muttering]
[Foreign Language]
Uh-huh. He thinks he will be
better by tomorrow.
[Rupert] Okay. [
Foreign Language]
[Rupert]
Uh-huh.
[Tulga] He said he will
come visit us tomorrow.
[Kristin] Okay. [
Rupert] Very good.
That's what
- He He said he's leaving this area tomorrow.
- [Rupert] Okay.
[Foreign Language]
[Rupert] Uh-huh.
Before it gets too dark,
you have to leave.
[Rupert] Okay. All
right. [Kristin] Okay.
Tell him thank you.
Thank you.
[Foreign Language]
Take care of your kid.
Thank you. We will.
We will.
[Rowan Chattering]
Shamans!
You want more shamans?
Do you want more shamans?
[Screaming]
Aw.
Shamans!
[Kristin] There's the shaman.
There. There's the shaman.
Say Bye-bye.
Say Bye-bye.
Say See you tomorrow, Rowan.
[Mumbles]
Say See you tomorrow.
[Foreign Language]
Okay. We must go.
Tulga, we must go, he says.
[Rowan Crying, Wailing]
[Rowan Chattering]
[Rowan Chattering]
Shaman!
[Rupert] You wanted to
stay there, didn't you? [Cries]
[Rupert]
Well, I expected him to be...
tantruming like that because
he didn't want to see the shaman,
and didn't want to be in the tent,
not because he had to leave.
That's extraordinary.
It's wonderful.
[Tulga]
[Chattering]
[Grinker] One way of explaining an illness
is to say, Oh, this person is sick.
Another way of explaining
an illness is to say,
This is a different type of person,
and they will have
a different role in society.
One of the most common things that anthropologists
have found among, uh, healers, like shamans,
is that, almost always,
people who are shamans,
no matter whether they're in East
Africa, or whether they're in Central Asia,
or South America, or Australia,
they have gone through
some sickness.
And often that illness is an illness...
with a constellation of symptoms
that are certainly neuropsychiatric.
The shamans don't show neurological
symptoms because they're shamans.
They become shamans because
they had these neurological symptoms.
We don't know why,
but one thing we do know...
is that the line between what is a shaman...
and the line between, say,
a psychoanalyst,
is not that clearly drawn.
We are one of the few societies...
that treat neurological
and psychiatric difference...
by creating institutions where we
separate people completely from society.
Most other cultures
aren't like that.
[Horse Whinnies]
[Chattering]
Obviously I think there's dangers
In totally saying,
Oh, yes, it's the shamans, and...
completely buying into
that symbol system as well.
I think I'm a little more
skeptical than Rupert.
Well, you know,
he goes up and down naturally,
and we don't know if this is
definitely a permanent gain.
So I'm a little more cautious in terms of
saying I'm hopeful and things look good.
But] do think it's important...
not to expect, like, a miracle cure.
You know, there was a little part of me
that was like, after the shamanic ceremony,
well, is he going to wake up
and be just totally normal?
And, of course, he wasn't. Um
It's outside of my normal
experience. Put it that way.
[Mutters]
We're going to the car.
[Chattering]
Maybe I should change my shirt,
after five days.
| 1[Scoffs]
Just a thought.
[Chattering]
[Narrating] Ghoste had
told us the night before...
that Rowan would become gradually
less autistic over the next three years.
But most importantly,
the stuff that really drove us crazy
The incontinence, the tantruming
These would end today.
We would start to
see them leave right now.
I was guarding my heart.
I didn't want to allow myself
to be disappointed.
There we go.
Say good-bye to shaman.
Say good-bye. [
Kristin] Good-bye.
[Chattering]
[Rowan Shouts Playfully]
[Rowan Grunts Playfully]
[Man Chuckles]
[Man Speaking Foreign Language]
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
Are you doing a taste test?
[Man Speaking Foreign Language]
[Rowan Speaking, Indistinct]
[Foreign Language]
[Speaking Foreign Language]
[Tulga] Now it's time
to He is leaving.
It's time to take Rowan. [Rupert]
Say good-bye to the shaman.
Good-bye to the shaman.
- [Man Speaks Foreign Language]
- [Rupert] Thank you for the healing.
[Narrating]
And with that,
it was finally time to go home.
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Narrating] As we rode
away, and down the mountain,
Just as Ghoste had said,
that indeed...
was when everything
began to change.
[Rowan]
Ah!
Echo!
[Kristin] Oh, my God. I can't believe
it. He's doing an intentional poo!
He just totally did it.
He did it.
[Chattering]
[Rupert]
That's the first stage to the potty.
That is success.
That is success right there.
Excellent!
Outdoor squatting poo!
Whoo-hoo!
[Camera Shutter Clicks |
[Rowan Giggling]
[Giggling]
[Giggling]
[Grunting Playfully]
[Wind Howling]
[Rupert] That's
incredible. Incredible.
Brilliant.
You are brilliant.
Brilliant! Brilliant! Rowan
poopied on the potty!
You're brilliant!
You're brilliant!
You're brilliant!
Okay, to pooping in the toilet.
[Kristin Laughs]
This is the start of something new.
Yea!
[Humming]
[Kristin] He's wanting to play
with the other kids, and not with us.
Like most normal little kids, they wanna
play with each other, not with their parents.
This has never happened before where he's just
totally involved with them and totally ignoring us.
It's amazing.
And he's one of them, you know?
Do I think it was the shamans?
My honest answer is, yeah,
of course, I do.
I'm open to the possibility
that there is...
something happening with the
shamanic way of understanding things.
But on the other hand,
I'm open to the idea...
that just when you take a kid, and you take him
to Mongolia, and you push him to their limits,
they have to confront challenges they wouldn't
otherwise, and that may be the cause of it.
[Rupert] What does it matter? What
matters is that he's leapt forward,
and that we came here,
and it happened.
That's what matters.
Now I'll say a little prayer for
all of us that live with autism,
whether we're autistic,
or whether we're the parents
of autistic kids,
or whether we know people
who have autistic kids,
whether it's our grandson,
our granddaughter,
or our nephew, or our niece,
or our kid, or our sibling.
[Sighs]
I hope This is my prayer
That we find a way...
to understand and integrate
this enigma...
into the best of our society,
and the best of who we are,
and that it helps to bring out
the best in us all.
That's my prayer.
[Match Strikes |
[Sighs]
Anyway, I'm grateful.
Thank you.
[Rupert] All right. So what I want
you to do ls I want you to take the reins.
Take the reins, like that,
in your hands and turn Betsy.
Say Come on, Betsy.
Can you say Come on, Betsy?
Come on, Betsy. And hold Lift
your hand and push across like that.
Say Come on, Betsy. That's
right. Turn her by yourself.
Say Come on, Betsy. Let's go
to the barn. Let's go to the barn.
All right. Now turn Betsy this way,
push your hand like this.
There you go.
There you go. Yeah!
Give her a little kick.
[Clicks Tongue]
Yes. And away she goes.
Excellent! You're riding.
Pull. Give the reins a pull.
Yes!
You just rode.
You just rode.
You just rode.
You just rode, you little
[Muffled] You just rode.
Thank you, Betsy.
[Kisses]
[Rupert] I don't think I
can even speak right now.
[Kristin] You push first.
Push the poopie out.
Oh, good job!
Do you have another one in there?
- [Rowan] Flush, flush.
- Flush.
Let's wash our hands.
[Flushes]
[Baron-Cohen]
I think it's very important that...
we do learn to live with autism,
in the sense that there's a lot of
adjustments our society can make...
to become more autism-friendly.
[Grinker] I really hope that as
people learn more about autism,
they will see autism
as a form of diversity.
You know, I think we need to figure out a way to
prevent some of the most severe forms of autism,
but you certainly do not want to
get rid of autism genetics,
and I get asked,
if I could snap my fingers,
would I want to be not autistic?
No, [wouldn't, because I like
the clarity of thought that I have.
[Chattering]
[Kristin] I think the thing
that's so remarkable...
is how much our lives
have changed since coming back.
It's justIt's night and day.
I can't even tell you I can't
even tell you how different it is.
[Man] What's your name? Rowan!
How are you doing?
I'm fine.
[Kristin]
He's just charming.
He's a brilliant kid.
He is.
And his kind of quirky way
of looking at all of this...
is precisely what makes him so
charming and interesting Exactly.
And fun and funny.
[Rupert] And that I've got no interest
in trying to change. None at all. No.
Quite the opposite, actually.
It's what makes him so wonderful.
No.
This is Curious George.
He lives in the zoo.
He was a good little monkey.
Patty and Atalina
are babysitting Rowan tonight.
And Rowan has said
he's happy to have them do that.
And Rupert and I are going to
go to a movie and have dinner.
You know, I'm really
starting to taste freedom.
Freedom like we haven't had
for the last six years.
And it's pretty nice.
Good-bye!
Have a fun night!
[Chattering]
[Chattering]
[Ballad]
When the gusts came around
To blow me down
I think that the family influences...
how a child views themselves.
So if the family comes to a place...
where they can accept
that their child has autism,
and love the child,
and develop a relationship,
their life is going to be much better.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Rowan &
Happy birthday to you
[Narrating]
Did Rowan get cured of his autism?
No. Rowan is still autistic.
Did Rowan get healed of the dysfunctions
that went along with his autism
The physical
and emotional incontinence,
the inconsolable tantrums,
the isolation from his peers?
Yes.
[Chattering]
[Shouting Playfully]
[Narrating] For us, this
healing was frankly miraculous.
But perhaps the real miracle...
was that we went to Mongolia
with a child suffering,
and a family suffering,
and we found healing
through whatever means.
The bottom line is that we took the
adventure, and through that adventure,
we found a way, both as
individuals, and as a family,
to break free.
Where the doors
Are moaning all day long
[Laughing]
Where the stairs are leaning
Dusk till dawn
Where the windows
Are breathing in the light
Where the rooms are
A collection of our lives
This is a place
Where I don't feel alone
This is a place
That I call my home
[Crickets Chirping]
[Rupert] So, this is
the New Trail Center,
and we have
founded..
An equestrian and
autism learning facility...
in central Texas, near
Elgin, Texas, where we live.
Good. Now we're
walking. That's a walk.
The schoolhouse
here is all set up...
for teaching
special needs.
We have a number of good
qualified therapists now...
coming in and working with
us on the non-horse side.
As you can see, there's a
jot of happy kids here now.
[Chattering]
[Ballad]
[Woman Singing, Indistinct]
One. Good. And?
One. Two.
And? One.
One and two.
And what?
And one.
Yeah!
And two.
- And one?
- One.
Love is
Letting
Go
How many times
We've had to die
Be broken down
And yet rise
And we fought
And we've flown
We have faltered
And we've grown
Are we
Finding
Love
Does love mean
Letting
Go
And I'll climb
That mountain one day
This is
A moment
Of grace