The Last Video Store (2023) Movie Script
1
[old fashioned romantic music plays]
Another night in paradise
A huh
Where is everybody?
Dunno?
Probably doing something-
Yeah probably at home on their computers.
Downloading or steaming.
Streaming, yeah
Yeah, right
Well, it's killing us, you know?
You know, I read statistically that people
would rather steam
cat videos on YouTube than rent a DVD!
Streaming, yeah
Well, they're taking a
steaming shit on DVD rentals.
That much I do know
Gary! It's streaming.
Whatever!
STREE streaming
Whatever.
Just saying it's streaming
I dunno how much longer
I can keep doing this?
Yeah you've said multiple times
My electricity bill
alone is hundreds.
Well $1400's last month.
Wow! That much?
Well we may as well
close up early then.
Really?
Yup.
Let's lock her up.
I'll get the A Boards in. [door
bell chimes] Whoa whoa whoa!
Evening
Sci-fi nerd?
Nah, I bet he's headed
for the porn section
Yeah... bet he wouldn't
have the strength.
BOTH: Heh heh heh
Oh romance!?
How are ya?
Yup
Got a Members Card?
Ahh... not today, bud
Ok
Whoa, whoa!
Empty the register.
You've got to
be flipping joking!
Just fucking
flipping do it mate!
Come on!
Fuck!
Is that it!
Well most people pay
by credit card genius!
Don't fucking mess
with me, old man.
Old man!?
Just don't FUCKING
mess with me OK?
Oooo Kaaay
Wallets
Do it! Fuck.
That's optimistic!
Is that it?
Umm he doesn't pay much.
Fuck'n yours.
All my money was in the till.
Have to say business is bad.
Maybe, you knob jockeys
should get a better fucking job?
At least we have a job.
What?
I said. Nuh nothing.
Anything else?
No wonder these places
are closing down huh?
Fucking pathetic!
We're pathetic?
We're not the ones
robbing a video stor...
Gary shut up!!
Fuckya!
Fuckya!
Fuckya... [door bell chimes]
[ Cheerful in-store
music plays ]
What the hell?
So...?
Still closing up?
Yeah, close up.
[Upbeat 50's guitar surf
music plays] [Drilling into wood]
You watch movies
on an iPad, alone?
Well, yeah.
You seriously need
to get a girlfriend Andy
Not that it's any of your
business but... Camera!
So what did the pigs say?
Police! Andrew!
Show some bloody respect!
They don't frigg'n care.
They give up on crimes that
don't involve a death or two
You reckon?
Too much trouble for them?
They'd rather let the thieves
and murderers run rampant.
It's "Lord of the Flies"
out here, my boy.
Lord of the w-what?
It's every man and
woman for himself.
I think you're
exaggerating, Gary.
Real bad guys come to
a sticky end or get caught.
Don't they?
They have to
Cinema has happy endings, kid.
In Reality - well?
You watch too many movies, Gary.
You think?
Okay, so I have to ask.
What with all the cameras?
Not taking any chances
if I'm going to get robbed.
I want the scumbags
on hard-drive.
Then we'll see who
has the last laugh hey?
Yeah. Probably the con man
who sold you these cameras.
What?
Nothing
That's it.
You ever thought of doing
something else, Gary?
I mean, you're not
getting any younger, right?
Thanks.
Another job?
Hmm.
Na, this is all I know.
Here. I can soak it all up, keep my
finger on the community pulse, so to speak.
Why?
Well, I'm a filmmaker.
Made many films?
Several short films.
I made a feature in '97
Love in a Butcher Shop.
Rom com. Could have been
huge, but it was ahead of its time.
A love story with meat...
god, that's romantic.
Was it a sausage shop?
Ah ha ha ha, very funny.
Successful?
Not in the way you mean, no.
Financially no.
You see it required too much of an
emotional investment from an audience.
Oh, it was boring then.
I'm not going to talk to you if
you're going to be a smartarse!
No no sorry.
Nup
Did it show in many cinemas?
D to V
What?
Direct to video.
Oh
Oh what?
Nothing
You see, that's the trouble
with you kids nowadays.
You've been spoon fed this noisy
kaleidoscope of big Hollywood films.
If it doesn't have superheroes
and action, sex and violence
with a booming soundtrack.
Well!!
Well, that's what the
'peoples' want, Gary.
No one wants to fork out hard earned
money to watch shit and be put to sleep.
Fuck off!
You see... all that crap...
It's not realistic my
boy. Where's the truth?
It's all pretend, Gary.
Wash your mouth out.
I want to get lost
in the cinema again.
I want - suspense,
love, tragedy.
I want it to be real.
I...
I want to believe again.
Well, why own a video store,
if you hate modern films?
You can still deal drugs
and not be an addict.
Mmm, Yeah, right.
Uggh, anyway,
I've got to go and see my
supplier, get some more stock.
You 'right to
look after the fort?
You don't have a
date to go to, do ya?
Ah well-
Oh, who am I kidding?
Of course you don't.
Now if I'm not back by
9:30, lock up for me alright?
Hey.
Thanks,
Kemosabe.
[ Upbeat nerdy organ music ]
[ Clicking of keys on
computer keyboard ]
[ Motorbike approaches ] [
Slow tense rock guitar plays ]
Get off me, for fuck's sake!
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
How about...?
Harry Met Sally?
How about when
Harry... ate Sally?
Gross.
This?
No
This?
Fuck off.
[ Can rattles and
rattles, spins and stops ]
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
What the fuck you
looking at, huh?
Nothing. Huh?
Okay, well, let's
have a good look.
Get off me!
What?
Here get this!
What?
Get up and get this you
stupid fucking bitch, alright?
Oh wait, w, wait...
make it quick huh
We don't have all night.
Got ya card?
Yeah, yea
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
It's just four dollars
thanks
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
[ Ominous guitar music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Motorbike starts
and drives away ]
[ Motorbike burns rubber ]
[ Upbeat playful guitar music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hi. I'm just here...
about, about the job.
Oh! Ahh, dammit!
Ahh that's supposed
to be taken down.
The job's actually
gone. S'been filled
Oh
Someone's got it
Oh, okay.
[ DOOR BELL CHIMES ]
I do not like the day lights
I can only work at night
somewhere in the dark
in de night Ha ha ha ha
[ Door bell chimes ]
FORTUNE TELLER: If I get the job I
can read your palm and tell your future!
FORTUNE TELLER: Let me look!
GOTH GIRL: My hobbies include self-harm
listening to death metal and witchcraft.
On my good days,
I like to crush daisies and
use them as bookmarks.
[ DOOR BELL CHIMES ] KIM: Hi, if I take this
job can I take home lots of sexy movies?
What?
This place...
is an absolute
relic, it's so um...
desperate, like me.
Can't work Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and weekends, though,
because those are the days I
do Zen Do Kai and aerobics.
It's not like I'm a
bad person or nothin.
No, I didn't say that.
It's just, the job's gone, so...
Did you just take a lighter?
No I didn't!
Yeah, I think you did
there was a red one...
Oi!
[ Door bell chimes ]
She just...
But I'll let you know now.
GOTH GIRL: before
things get messy
I have a boyfriend
Yeah. Umm.
Ha ha ha
Six, seven, eight.
At the, Video, Store
renting a movie,
gonna get some
popcorn, have a good time.
Drama... Can I just stop you right
there, please. Just for a second.
Ummm How can I help you?
The fucking sign?
Oh, um... yes.
See, that was supposed
to be taken down.
Shouldn't actually be there.
The job's been taken. So...
You lying little monkey.
Position has been taken.
Oh, position filled
And what would that be sweetie
I'm sort of up for anything.
The jobs gone
It's gone?
Yeah well, you know what?
Maybe you should tell people
that at the beginning, huh?
I gave some my best
material just now, and it's.
It's take, take, take.
Why do people do that?
I didn't. I didn't wanna...
It's a rhetorical
question Bitch!
What's fucking point!
Oooh Andy, you bit off more
than you could chew that day
[ Suburban night street sounds ]
[ Gentle romantic piano ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Gentle romantic piano ]
Hello. What have we got here?
Hi.
Hi.
Ahh... I've come about the job.
Oh, yeah, just. Umm
Just fill one of these out.
Just... just down here
These please
You got a ahh... card?
Yes
Would you like a bag with that?
Ah, yes, please.
Thank you.
[ Door bell chimes ]
All done?
Mmm.
Ok
Umm... You left
out your last name.
Yeah, I know... ah...
Do I have to? Is that important?
Nah, umm it.. it probably is.
Sorry. It's just.
Promise you won't laugh.
Okay.
It's Frigineze
What?
It's Italian. My
Dad was Italian.
And you're laughing?
No umm. Um, how do you spell it?
F r I g
Frig
You know what... why don't I just
do it other wise we'll be here all night.
You got your email and phone
number? [ RUBBER BANANA SQUEAKS ]
Okay, um that should be... good.
Thanks... ahh... when
will I hear from you?
Ummm... the boss will probably
call you in for an interview...
and he'll pretty much
take it from there so...
So... [rubber banana squeaks]
Have you had many
other applicants?
A few, yeah
Hardly any, really.
Okay, great.
I'll see you soon.
Yeah.
Yeah, no problem.
Actually. Why?
Like why do you
want to work here?
Well,
I like movies
and I need the money
and break from bad boys.
But you're not a
bad boy are you?
I mean... yeah a little.
No, I'm not
Good.
No other reason?
No why?
Oh nothing...
You know, working here
might change your attitude
about movies.
About movies, I mean,
and not for the better.
I think I'll take that chance.
[ Door bell chimes ]
What are you're doing now?
Oh Andrew... very clever.
[ Nerdy organ music ]
Just scan it like that.
Run it through there
a couple of times.
Give it to the
customer, and that's it.
And if you have any other questions,
you can just ask Andy over here.
I prefer Andrew.
Actually.
Right... ahhh...
Who you've already met.
Hi.
Hi again.
All right. Um.
Good luck, kids. Heh.
No funny business.
Well, unless, of course...
um... ahhhh... good luck!
Ahh... anyway.
Let's get to it.
Okey dokey.
[nerdy organ music]
Excuse me service, clerk
Do you have Next
Gen series two on Blu?
Umm... Just let me check.
[ Coughing loudly]
Nah, it's okay.
Win 8 or 10?
What?
Windows 8 or Windows 10?
Oh, I don't know.
I just know how to turn it on.
Ah... no, it doesn't
look like we have it.
Sacrilege!!
And you call yourself
a video rental shop?
Yeah, we do.
Fffftt! More like a space
anomaly void of viddy's
from the filmdrome.
Ahhh... Can I help
you with anything else?
So when's that penultimate
edition Trek TOS on BLU coming in?
I don't know.
Your Captain said it would
dock this week! Stardate 72027.4
That's today, to civilians.
Umm... Well, it hasn't. So...
Do you follow the current Trek?
Nah man, come
on give me a break.
So, do you?
No!
I like the 60 series, but...
Next Gen, that bald guy
just comes across as too
much of a limp dick and
the new films are just
trying to copy Star Wars so...
Wash your mouth out!
Well, they are!
Setting for stun!
Star Wars is better anyway.
Say that again.
I dare you.
Star Wars is...
Look.
Can you please stop?
Can you just stop that?
Can I help you
with anything else?
[ Keyboard tapping ]
Hi there.
Do you have "Shriek
of the Mutilated" or
"Sorority House Massacre"?
Shriek...
Nup, doesn't look like it.
"Sorority House Massacre".
Sorry. Sorry. No.
How about "I Eat Your Skin"?
And that's not a request, baby.
Ha ha.
What happened to the... the gore
fest of the eighties and nineties anyway?
I dunno.
The eighties and nineties man...
those were the days!
You know... popcorn
and mixed lollies and...
and an old VHS tape
in a sweaty, plastic case.
I, I have a movie idea,
but should I tell you?
You know what? I'm kind of busy.
Won't take a second.
[ Keys tapping ]
I'll just liked the way
that Kirk handled things
he'd just go the
'old school way'
and use his fists
to get the job done!
Oh! Sensors detect a Caveman!
Oww!
Violence should
always be the last resort.
It's not after short
attention span audiences.
It's cerebral, it's challenging.
It asks questions.
I have a question.
What did Spock
find in Kirk's toilet?
A Tribble?
The Captain's Log.
What did they also
find in his pants?
A Klingon.
He he.
Ha ha ha
[ Slush puppie gushing ]
It'll never be the
same for us old timers.
It's like losing your virginity.
You can only do it once.
You can only die once too!
Not in the movies, Devochka!
Science fiction, motion pictures
and superhero movies are huge!
What does that tell you?
I'll tell you what it tells you!
It says people want
villains defeated
defined heroes and heroines
with romance and happy ending.
Or maybe people just want to escape from their
otherwise meaningless, boring and lonely lives.
Oh, I didn't mean,
you... no, I meant
in general.
[ Nerdy in-store music plays ]
[ Phazer powers up
] [ rap music plays ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Laid back 50's
surf guitar music ]
Hey kids!
Hold up a sec.
Now remember.
Some of these peeps
are our 'bread and butter.'
What!
Well you know, customers
like 'Horror Nut' and 'Trek Nerd'.
Try not to make
fun of them, okay?
We know they're pathetic!
But try not to alienate them.
Sorry, boss.
I just can't help it sometimes.
Yeah sorry.
Hey kids!
With downloads killing us.
We've only got a few
more years left to stay afloat.
So film buffs of any
persuasion are our friends...
Got it?
Got it.
That treat them with
respect and dignity.
And remember, it is our privilege to
provide them quality entertainment
and assorted confectionery
at a reasonable price.
Ok. He he
Hey Andy!
Can you put that new
box collection of Hitchcock
classics down on aisle three
next to the soft porn? Okay?
Okay?
Somebody might confuse the word
cock with... and rent one by mistake.
Yeah tomorrow, or?
Yeah, whatev's.
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
You don't say much, do you?
I usually only speak when
I have something to say.
Okay.
So you still seeing
that ah... tough guy?
Oh, no.
Broke that off just
after... you know.
Yeah,
I felt bad for, like, not doing
or saying anything.
You're sweet.
He would have killed you.
Who's that gonna help?
So you're not
seeing him anymore?
I said no.
Why do you ask?
Oh.
Nothing.
So.
Andy,
tell me about you. Hobbies?
Got a girlfriend?
No girlfriend.
Who needs 'em anyway, I say
it's just a hassle
if you ask me.
Yeah.
I ah...
I play guitar in a band.
Really?
Yeah.
You need a singer?
Oh, um, we already have one.
He's a douchebag! But...
he's ours.
What kind of singer?
Like, (softly) La la la!
Or, (death metal) La la la!
Ha ha, um
(Death metal) La la la!
Right.
So the dark stuff?
Mmm, dark is it gets.
Angry lyrics, then?
No kind of hopeless
for me it's just the way things are,
you know, like with global warming
and lack of NBN in my area.
Oh, you're not joking.
I can't tell with you sometimes.
You don't seem
like a sad person.
I just don't have a really good
view on society or people in general.
And working here doesn't help.
I mean, a couple of late nights here
and you really get to see the underbelly
if you know what I mean.
Bet you're a lot of
fun at parties Tiger.
What parties?
You know, Andy, you've
gotta learn to lighten up.
Live a little. Live
in the moment.
It's not so easy.
You don't know unless you try,
It can't kill you.
It can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
[ Street sounds -
police siren passes by ]
Hey!
Bad news?
Hmmpt.
You wouldn't even believe it.
What?
Our 'dead shit'
singer quit our band.
I told you I could sing.
Okay.
Sing me something.
[gentle piano music]
What? Right now?
Yeah.
Rent me at this last shop.
Come on, and rent
me at this last shop.
Hehe
Ha
Okay,
so how?
Like...
Where did you learn to sing?
I... sing in the
shower, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
So, go on.
I wouldn't want to bore you.
No, it's not. It's...
it's not boring.
Ah Nah.
Hey, I shared earlier.
Is that the time?
Umm
I'm gonna go.
I'll see you tomorrow?
Okay.
Okay, well, you're
telling me tomorrow, then.
I hope she doesn't make
a habit of leaving this early.
She has to be somewhere.
Anywhere but here hey?
Mmm.
I couldn't help but overhear
your conversation earlier.
Oh yeah., how 'd
you manage that?
Oh, the sound must
travel upstairs, anyway.
What's with all your
doom and gloom spiel?
What do you mean?
Well you and Stacy?
What?
Well all that crap about
dark music and hopelessness,
I mean, are you deliberately trying
to make you think you're a tool?
No.
I mean, are you?
No, I'm not trying to make
her think I'm a too... Andy!
Women don't want all
that depression crap.
They want to laugh.
They want to be entertained.
I'm not a performing
clown, Gary.
Apparently, you're just a clown.
Now look,
sometimes you have
to be a, a... a performer!
The courtship game
is... is all an act.
The courtship?
It's not 1920.
Do you like her?
What?
Well, I know you like her
I mean, you'd have to be
gay or clinically dead, not to.
Yeah.
Now, listen, I'm going
to give you some advice.
Now, I normally wouldn't bother, but it's
obvious you need some direction, my boy.
Gary I really don't need...
Now just shut up and listen.
Now, firstly, cut out all this
teenage angst and depression crap!
I mean, girls want dependable,
strong adults, not whining infants.
Gary, you can't
talk to me like that...
Secondly, ask her
some personal questions.
Listen, and nod
seriously as she answers.
See, women love to hear themselves talk,
so this shouldn't be too much of a problem.
And what this displays is your
caring, stroke, sensitive side.
Caring stroke, sensitive side.
I know it's a paradox, but women like both
the masculine and the feminine together,
which means you
have to be a good actor.
You mean liar.
Whatever. And always be totally
in awe of everything she says.
As if you were listening to the
Virgin Mary or Marilyn Monroe
or, or, or Katy
Perry, and then...
get her to ask you
some questions.
And once you've
got her attention...
ignore her
What?
You ignore her.
Okay, that's what
I thought you said.
You've showed her your sensitive side
by patiently listening to her tales of woe.
And then when it's your turn to talk,
you clam up. Drives the women crazy.
Well, she'll think you're an
enigma and simply have to have ya.
Bullshit!
It's not the bullshit,
it's THE shit!
Now remember, be strong, listen
and then ignore her.
[ Drum beats fades into
playful in-store music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hey Frigineze!
Like your new outfit!
Looks BOSS!
Thanks.
I went shopping at this totally
sick new place in the city.
It's the new me.
What do you think?
Totally sick. [ STACY LAUGHS ]
So what's the job tonight?
Ah well, Gary's got a bunch
of new stock out the back
that needs to be brought in
and labeled so... (clicks teeth)
You want to show me?
Ahh, it's just out the back
near the coffee machine.
Do you want to show me?
Ah, It's just out the back
near the coffee machine.
[ Playful in-store music ]
Don't get up! I can manage.
Mm... kay
So, Stacy... it's your turn
to spill the old jelly beans.
Where'd you hail from?
Why?
I'm interested.
I grew up on a cattle station
In Lake Nash in the N.T.
Ah cool.
Not cool.
Seven kids in a
sweaty worker's cottage.
Too small for a family of three.
We got by.
Nice place?
Yeah. If you're a masochist.
Nice neighbors, or...?
We lived on a cattle station...
miles from civilization.
How could we have had neighbors?
So you had a big family?
Seven kids I said.
That's a... four dollars thanks.
Andy...
you're not a real
good listener are you?
Huh?
So how'd you get out of
there? [ DOOR BELL CHIMES ]
We moved to Brisbane just
after my father died in a car crash.
That's terrible.
How old were you?
Fifteen.
Whoa
My stepmother
was a fucking witch,
so I was out of there
soon after, and...
I never looked back.
That's really sad, Stace.
I don't know how I would have
coped growing up without my parents.
I'll be back in a
tick my Droogs.
[ Door bell chimes ]
So... have you seen
any good bands lately?
Umm... (cough) nah, not really.
The Reverend's are playing
in the Valley tomorrow night.
And I was wondering...
Well, we better get back to it.
Can't sit and chit chat all day.
Yeah, right.
What's wrong with you today?
One minute you're nice and
the next you're a total arsehole!
And they say women
are fucking fickle.
(Whispered) Fucking Gary
[ Door bell chimes ]
Not again!
What?
Stay down.
Get off me what the fu...!
Shhh quiet!
This is a robbery
Sunshine open the register,
empty it, and hand over
your phone and wallet!
Come on, cup cake!
I said now, not 'Now Now'!
Hey! What are you reaching for?
Keys! Keys to the register.
Is it?
Yeah.
Hurry it up.
Ok, come on!
Is that it?!
That's it!?
Yeah, not many punters today.
Probably because the footy's on.
What!?
Damn it! He's right.
What teams are playing again?
Hey, shut up!
Now, give me your phone and
your wallet and make it snappy.
Holy... shiznit! It's the cops!
Pearl Jam there, must
have fingered a silent alarm!
You dirty little grub. Hey!
Say good night, my bro!
Wait!
What the? What are you...
What are you doing down there?
What kinda place
are you running here?
There's no silent alarm,
he was just protecting me!
Oh, Oh, they're going
into the pizza place!
Is there a back way out of here?
Yeah, but it goes
straight past Giuseppes.
Giu-Giu-Giu wh... Gui-WHAT?
The-the-the pizza place.
What?
What's with all the
bloody cameras?
Security.
Security!? Ha!
S-Security!? Ha ha ha!
Heh heh heh.
It's fricking overkill
if you ask me!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Oooh! They're out!
Ooh, they're coming closer!
Oh... no, it's okay.
They just stopped at the
newsagents! This is FUCKED!!
S'alright! Just relax! Ooh! They're
getting back into their patrol car!
Gees!
They've started the car!
They're going!
They're GOING!
They're GOING!
And...
they're gone.
Okay, let's split.
Thank you very much
for your patience.
This has been real,
real nice.
Come on!
Wait for me!
You WAIT for ME!
How where you so calm?
Heh.
It's not the first time
we've been robbed.
Still, my heart's beating
like a horse though.
Mine too! Really gets
the adrenaline pumping.
A huh.
So... anything exciting
happening, kids?
What?
This can't keep happening, Kate.
Where's the bloody
well "Protect and Serve".
That's the USA, Gary.
Here, it's "With
HONOR we serve".
Well, we're the only
ones copping a serve,
and it ain't pretty!
Brett.
We're looking into
it Gary 'me old son'.
200 and something dollars!
Plus all the loose change
the boy had left in his wallet!
And my staff could
have been killed!
Now I want to know, what-in-the-hell
are you going to do about?
Well, with your extensive security
footage and the accompanying audio,
we've got more than an average
chance of matching suspects.
How many cameras do you have?
Ten all up. Eight
inside and two outside.
Why so many?
I wanted every angle
of my store covered.
And if I'm going to be giving
stuff away, I want it all on hard disk.
That's a bit excessive,
don't you think?
Well no, I don't.
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ A distant police siren ]
Come on, Stacy. We've been
through a holdup together.
So why do you have no fear?
Why?
I had a really
violent upbringing.
My parents fought
like heavyweights,
and, when they weren't laying into
each other, they where laying into me.
Became numb to threat,
I guess.
That's horrible.
Did you ever think of
getting help... or something?
Maybe.
Damage already done Tiger.
I find it hard to get
emotional about anything.
Is that detachment,
why are you date
psychos like Damian?
Ugh! No Dr Phil.
No. (sigh)
I once found some
photos amongst his things.
Monitoring ordinary people
going about their day to day lives.
Sooo... like a pervert?
No.
Maybe?
[ Car approaches ]
There were folders
of addresses and schedules,
and there'd be new
folders every week.
So you think he was, like, some
sort of hitman or something?
Honestly,
I don't know.
Holy crap, Stacy! Talk
about turning a blind eye!
We'll it's better than
turning a black eye.
Yeah.
Yup,
yup,
I... I will.
Thanks, Detective.
Well, that's that.
Cops said that
my security footage
will probably end up on the
local evening news tonight.
So... pretty radical hey!
Radical dude.
Anyway, no more moping about.
Let's get back to it.
Oh, Gary, I'm
still a little shook
up from yesterday.
I was wondering if I
could go home early.
So long as it's cool by Andrew.
Oh umm, sure. Yeah.
Thanks.
[door bell chimes]
Strange girl, that one
You're telling me?
Very strange.
[ Ominous music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Oh...
is that overdue?
Oh, yeah.
So does that mean I have to pay,
like, a overdue fee or something?
Well, normally you would, but you
can just pay it next time you come in.
Oh...
How about you fix it...
so I don't have to pay at all?
Sure.
You like working
in a video store?
S'alright...
If you like long
hours and no money.
Must get a lot of
weirdos in here, huh?
Just regular people, I guess.
Do I look like regular
people to you?
Umm... no.
Well... what do I look like?
Um, a little dangerous.
A little.
Well.
Dangerous.
Ahh.
[slaps counter] Dangerous!
I like that.
No, I think I like you,
kid. You're honest.
And if there's one thing I
admire in a bloke, it's honesty.
What's your name?
Andrew.
Well, Andy,
let me ask you a question.
Seen any girls around lately?
I've seen a lot of girls.
This one isn't 'lots of girls'.
She's tall, blonde,
ooft, banging body,
named Stacy.
Seen her?
Um?
Well, have you or haven't ya?
No.
I...
haven't.
Now you sure?
Yeah,
I'm sure.
All right.
Walt! Tiny!
[ Door bell chimes twice! ]
This is Walt!
So called, because we think
he looks like Walt Disney.
And this... this is Tiny,
so called because...
Why do we call you that again?
Because I have a small dick!
Let me show you something Andy.
Where?
Outside in the car.
Oh, I can't leave
the front desk.
Oh, should be right.
It'll only take a sec.
No, really, I-I-I
can't leave the...
Do as he says, kid.
Good.
Now like I said
before, Andy, I like you.
I like your honesty.
I mean, some fellas are just
never straight with a bloke.
Know what I mean?
I mean, if I had a dollar
for every... so-and-so,
who's lied to me over the years.
Well... I'd be the
Mayor of Brisbane.
I'm not sure it works that way.
What?
Nothing.
In the end it all comes back
to honor, without honor...
Well?
We're no better than
the fuck'n animals.
(Muffled) Hey. Hey!
Hey, help, hey, help!
Ooh, scared ya!
Now, like I was
saying, Andy, honor
and honesty above all else.
(muffled) Help me!
Oh that! Ha.
That's just a bit of
a... practical joke.
Don't you watch Candid
Camera? Heh heh.
Get in the car.
(muffled pleading)
Just a bit of a lark
mate. (muffled pleading)
Oh and Andy!
If you see Stacy,
tell her I'm looking for her.
Got that?
Good boy.
[ Muffled pleading
from car trunk ]
[ Car tires squeal
then burn rubber ]
[ Calm uplifting music ]
And then she says to me, no, no,
I want the Romeo and Juliet with
the rock music and the Hawaiian shirts.
I mean, here she is studying the works
of the Bard and she wants to rent an MTV
inspired load of 'excuse my French' crap,
which literally suffocates Shakespeare!
I thought it was pretty cool.
Well, you would.
Not that it's your fault.
Your generation's just never
been taught to think for themselves.
I think for myself.
When?
All the time.
Choosing which app to install on your
phone is not thinking for yourself Andrew.
Right.
So ah... what do you
do in your spare time?
You don't wanna know.
Fine.
Well,
I'm actually writing a
docudrama about true love.
It's touching, earnest, hopeful
and most of all, classy.
Really?
As we fuck'n speak!
It's going to be real
to use your speak
fully sick, bro.
But... sometimes I wonder what the point
is with all this flashy foreign product,
who's going to care about ordinary
people and their trials and tribulations?
I know what's eating you.
With that video
store closing down...
in Yatala... this must be
like one of the last ones left.
Yeah, is only three left
now in the whole city.
S'that all?
But who's counting?
Downloads are killing us slowly.
End of an era, Gary.
Same thing happened
with Drive-Ins.
Yeah, Cinemas will be next.
Never!
So what's this you're watching?
'Trailer Park Psycho.'
It's about the day to day adventures
of a narcissistic psycho killer.
So now this is exactly
the point I'm trying to make.
What kind of message is this?
Mmm, beats me?
See, in the old days, movies had heroes
with principles and good moral values.
I don't know.
Back then, everything seemed,
clearer and less complicated.
You mean black and white?
Well, you said
it yourself, Gary.
The real world isn't like that.
It's grey.
In the real world, people do
horrible things and get away with it.
Mmm.
Happens every day.
(Coughing)
Oh, excuse me.
Umm... did you happen to
have any cooking shows?
Like umm...
'Big Sausage, little Taco'?
Oh! 'It takes three to make
a spit roast'. Hmm Hmm.
Ok. What about some, um,
some, you know, removalist programs
like 'How much can you shove in me box?'
That's a nice one.
It's very filling.
Actually, I think we
might have that one.
Ohh!
Let me just go and
look for it. Excellent!
We we do? We have
that...? I think we do
Hello.
Hey.
Look at you.
Are you legal?
Nup.
That doesn't matter.
Let me take my teeth out for ya.
[ Relaxing in store music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hey Andy.
Stace.
So, made it in early today?
Yup.
What's the speaker for?
Oh, my shrink said that
learning a waltz would help
with relaxation.
Oh, yeah.
And because the male leads,
it's good for fostering thrust.
I mean, trust.
You just said 'thrust'.
Nope, I didn't.
So what's the speaker for?
Well, I was wondering...
if you're not too busy, ah...
maybe you could help
me with some dance steps.
Umm...
Sure.
Not a problem.
Good.
[ Romantic piano ]
Just relax.
Okay, I just. I just want to let you know
I'm not really good with moving my body.
I mean, moving my hips
rhythmically.
I'm not really.
Just six evenly accented steps
completed by a full turn in two bars of music,
repeated endlessly as the couple turn...
The... couple?
As in we,
spin on the dance floor.
You sound like an encyclopedia.
I have a photographic memory.
That'd be handy.
That's pretty handy.
Now all we need is music.
[ Gentle romantic
guitar strumming ]
Dance with me.
Close your eyes.
Drift away.
Feel the rhythm.
Steady flow from my heart
Every time,
I take your hand in mine,
the world stops...
It's turning.
So dance
with me,
and I'll show you,
the way.
Dance with me
Turn your thoughts
into nothing.
And follow me
I won't lead
you astray.
When I hold
you close and feel the warmth
from your heart
it soothes my soul.
So dance
with me,
and I'll show you
the way.
Oh, how sweet.
[ In store organ music ]
[50'S guitar surf music] I
think she really likes you, boyo.
Nah.
Do ya reckon?
She does.
Now if you're smart
about it, you'll act fast.
Don't wait for her to start
thinking about you as a friend.
Strike while she's hot!
I mean, while the iron is hot.
Look, I really don't need
your advice anymore...
Oh, yes, you do. Now look...
what you need to do, is you
need to write... a romantic note.
With ahh, some flowers
or chokkie's attached
What!
No way.
Yes way, dude.
And do you have any clobber other than
these rags you've been getting 'round in.
Not on what you pay me.
True.
Anyway, when your
around her act strong.
All great leading males have
been physically appealing,
strong, and yet little
bit soft on the inside,
kind of like a Turkish delight.
Life isn't always like
the movies, Gary.
Oh, but it is. It is my son.
And that's where you young
grunge fiends have lost it.
Grunge fiends?
It's not the nineties, Gary.
You know, women like to talk
about independence and liberation,
but when it comes down to the
crunchy roll, they all still want the hero.
The knight in shining armour
who's going to come along and
pick them up and carry them away.
No women are more sophisticated
than you give them credit for.
They like kind of
offbeat, funny,
introspective kinda guys.
That's so?
Yeah.
And how many girls do you know have
Woody Allen posters up on their wall?
It's the latest, strong, heroic
type that they're gagging for.
Whatever you reckon, Gary.
Look.
If it will make it any easier for
you, pretend you're Sean Connery,
or, or Michael Caine.
Who?
Michael Caine.
(Impersonation) Not
many people know 'dis
But the key to a woman's
heart is to make her 'fink
that you're flipping
unattainable.
What?
I said, be bloody
unattainable, my son!
See, women, always want
what they can't bloody well have.
Well, you know...
Alright somebody you know,
uh-uh, Robert Downey Jr...
or-or Johnny Depp!
Actually, they're
both kind of lame.
You see, that's
exactly my point.
I mean, there are no manly
male movie stars anymore.
They've all been
boxed in and castrated
by political correctness.
Look... go and take a
peek at a Humphrey Bogart
movie or for an Elvis
Beach film, for fuck's sake.
Those guys knew
how to treat women.
Been single a long
time, have we, Gary?
Speak of the devil.
Thought, my ears were burning.
That's because it's hot outside.
And what I suggest is
a little bit of sunscreen,
otherwise you're going to
be burnt and red like a lobster.
It's winter.
Fuck off.
As you were.
Hmph.
Gary.
S'been doing it all day.
[ Street noise ]
[ Romantic Parisian
accordion and piano ]
A rose. Nice touch.
Good boy.
[ Gentle romantic
xylophone and piano]
So, any plans
for tonight, Tiger?
Ah no, not really. No.
There's something
I've been meaning
to talk to you about. Um,
I'm thinking about moving on.
What?
An old friend is moving to
Sydney, and she needs a roomie.
Oh.
I mean,
it's not
like there's anything
here for me, right?
New start and all that jazz.
Yeah,
well, you got to do
what you gotta do, right?
I'm going to go get my
stuff from out the back.
Okay.
[ Solemn piano music plays ]
Have you finished
that inventory yet?
Fuck off Gary.
Ricky Bennet.
Flanagan.
Gary Bishop.
Dear Gary, thank you so much
for allowing Starline Distribution
to view and assess your film.
Although I understand,
that 'The Last Video Store'
is a dream project... it really
doesn't fit into our current slate.
So I'm afraid at
this time... decline.
Good luck with your
future endeavors. Best...
and kindest regards, Jenny.
Are you ok?
Fuck!
What do they want?
Space ships!?
A slasher bound, foul
mouthed, Bloodbath!
I mean, where's the
fucking subtlety any more?
I mean, where is
it, for Fuck's sake?
I ask you?
Fuck!
Another rejection
letter for his movie idea.
[ Solemn piano music plays ]
DVD...
the change.
Bye.
Thanks.
[ Hopeful strings play ]
S'everything all good?
Uhuh.
Good.
GOLD COAST LADY: Well, about
time! I was just about to walk out!
Deviants.
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Car approaches ]
Tell him I'm not here.
What? Wait you said...
[ Light switch clicks off ]
[door bell chimes]
How you doing Andy?
Fine.
Been good to yourself?
Yeah. No, no.
I mean. Yeah.
Not really
Told many lies lately?
No, I don't know
how you can do it.
How you can just stand
there with a straight face.
I can stand there all day
every day serving Joe, eff'n public
without wanting to take the nearest heavy,
blunt object and just
smash their teeth in!
I don't know myself sometimes.
It would drive me
around the bend.
Cooped up in here like a canary.
You see, a like me
open spaces too much.
The freedom of it, out on
me Bike. Know what I mean?
Go where you want.
Do what you want.
Do who you want.
Know what I mean?
Well, I guess you don't.
Well, Andy, we could
stand here all day
and wax lyrical about the pros
and cons of video store employment.
But I've got things to do.
And I suppose so do you, so...
Let me cut to the chase...
you seen Stacy around lately?
No.
Have you?
No, I haven't.
Now you're absolutely sure?
Because if I found out you was lying
to me Andy, well... I'd be awfully hurt.
And the thing is, when I get my feelings
hurt, I'm a completely different person.
I'm not the big, lovable panda
bear you've come to know.
I'm more like a... like a...
A grizzly bear.
There you go with that
honesty thing again.
Honesty is going to get
you in trouble one day Andy.
Now, like I was saying...
I haven't seen her.
All right. All right. Heh heh.
Look, I'm sorry
about being a pest.
It's just that she sort of owes
me some money, and, well,
I rather get my affairs
in order before I...
Yeah, I understand.
Great.
You're a good kid Andrew.
Thanks.
That's...
I think it's time you
and I went for a ride.
Oh, well, I can't...
Don't say another fuck'n word!
I can't...
Don't say it, or I'll drop
you, where you stand!
Don't!
Come on.
I really don't know why
you're protecting her kid,
she wouldn't do
the same for you.
Leave him alone fuck face!
Well, well.
So here she is at last!
My little cupcake
hiding in the cupboard.
What were you doing
back there anyway?
You're kidding me.
Mind your own business, Damian.
D'you hear that?
You're not doing him
any favors, sweetheart!
Yeah Stacy you're kinda...
Did I say you could speak?
Andy and I were just about to
go for a lovely ride in the country.
Get out of this stuffy cage
and back to the open spaces.
But now that you're here.
Well, looks like we
can all go together.
One big, happy family.
Bobby Ackworth,
Leah Luddington, Tim Vining.
Neil Talty.
Eric Lumsden.
Those names mean
anything to you Damian?
Because I've sent a list to a
friend in the legal profession
Addresses, dates...
fee for the job.
Everything but the obituary.
If anything happens to me,
or my boyfriend,
I'd say goodbye to
wide open spaces.
Just go. Damian, it's over.
It's over,
when I say it's over!
It's over!
It'll only be over when
one of us is dead!
Hey, watch mate!
Now I think it's time you left.
You're this close,
to a punch in the head, Amigo.
Get outta here!
[ Door bell chimes ]
Friend of yours?
Not anymore.
You 'right, Andrew?
Yeah, I'm alright.
Why did you lie to me?
Does it really matter?
I couldn't face him.
I just couldn't.
It's over!
It'll only be over when
one of us is dead!
Hey, watch it mate!
You're this close, to a
punch in the head Amigo.
Gary?
Ahh.
Yep, yep. (playback) You're this
close, to a punch in the head Amigo.
Listen, I...
I've been doing a
bit of soul searching.
That's always
good, unless it isn't.
I don't want the extra money
to be nice to Andrew anymore.
Sure, ah... I understand.
It's just that, you know...
No really. It's...
It's fine.
It's not like I can
afford it anyway. Mmm.
So what you're doing?
Nothing.
Well, if that's it, then.
Yeah, I suppose.
Looks like Andrew could do
with a little help with the punters.
Close to a punch
in the head Amigo!
Hey.
Hey.
Feeling any better?
Yeah.
Do you still like me?
Of course I do.
I um,
I brought you a Pez dispenser.
Really?
Yeah.
What kind?
Wonder Woman.
Oh
Do you like it?
Yeah.
[ Ominous music ]
Money! Register! Whoa! Whoa!
Move it Blondie, come on!
Back up lover boy!
Hurry up!
Here take it!
You... stupid fucking bitch!
[ Audience applause ]
Oh, fantastic.
And the winner is...
the modern love triangle
to end all triangles.
The Last Video Store.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you all.
This is very difficult for me,
as in, receiving this honor.
I've...
well I've lost two friends.
But I'd like to start by
reading something, if I may.
I have here a love letter
that was written by Andrew
and given to Stacy,
along with a single red rose
only hours before
the shooting, and...
as you have seen,
could have inadvertently
led to the tragic events.
"Stacy, I adore you."
Every time I see
you, my heart beats
a little bit faster.
I'm confused
weakened,
cannot breathe.
It is as if you have put
a spell on me and only
to hold and kiss
you will set me free.
You are like a dream.
"Love Andrew."
Some dreams are real.
And for a short moment,
Stacy and Andrew
had found their own
dream come true.
And I want to thank the
festival for honoring me and...
honoring us with
this award, and...
I only wish they
were still here.
[ The blue Danube
starts to play ]
Get up...
and get this, you
stupid fucking bitch!
All right?
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Ah, I've come about the job.
Global warming and lack of
NBN in my area. (audience giggles)
Yep, yep, yep.
Must get a little
weirdos in here huh?
It's good for fostering thrust.
I mean trust.
Sure. No problem.
[ The blue Danube plays ]
It's over.
Arrgghh!
I'll be over only, when
one of us is dead!
Oui! Watch it mate! Just leave!
[ Audience gasp! ]
(Cries)
[ Audience cheers ]
[ Solemn piano ]
[solemn piano]
Thinking about it now.
All great love
stories are tragedies.
And I suppose
this is no different.
Thank you
and good night.
[ Solemn piano ] [
Audience cheers ]
Destiny Vasquez here with
Gary Wilson, award winner.
Congratulations, Gary.
Thank you very much. It's a great
honor to receive the award. Thank you.
And you were very close with
Stacy and Andrew, weren't you?
Yeah, I was.
And now you're an
award winning director!
Yeah, I suppose I am.
Hi. How are you? (kiss
kiss) You look amazing!
(Blubbering)
What the fuck?
[ Fire wood crackles ]
[ Phone beeps as
numbers dialed ]
[ Phone rings ]
Oh, hi.
Yeah, Damian was there.
He was disguised in this, ridiculous
fake mustache and dyed blonde hair.
But it was him,
because I never
forget a scumbag!
You there?
Yeah, yeah. We're still here.
Well he won't be bothering
you guys any time soon.
So it all went to plan then?
Without a hitch.
And good luck on
your adventure you too.
Thanks, Gary.
Oh, and thanks for
the cruise tickets?
(as Michael Caine) That's
my pleasure, my darlings.
And remember, not
many people know 'dis...
but the key to happiness is
to stay away from arseholes!
Got it?
Got it.
Bye for now.
(Sweetly) Bye, Gary.
(long smoochy kiss)
So when are we going to
give Damian his car back?
We'll have to dump it in
the swamp eventually but,
maybe not straightaway.
Whoa hoo.
Didn't realize you were
such a rebel, Stacy.
I thought that's what
you liked about me?
[ Engine starts ]
[ Happy guitar pop song plays ]
I get kind a bit emotions in
my head I've got explosions
Now I'm drinking these
mimosas Everyday
Now I'm going to extremes
every time I get these feelings
Who's got the amphetamines
Yeah Yeah, Oh Oh
I'm spiraling down to the ground
I'm lost and I'll never be found
Then I just see you around
You change the mood When
you walk in with a smile, yes you do
I haven't been happy for a
while Do we ever stop feeling this?
Throwing my feelings
around like this for you
You change the mood
You change the mood I
can't even try to explain
How you hit me like a hurricane
Now I'm sippin' on champagne everyday
We're spiraling down to the
ground Lost and we couldn't be found
But then I just saw your
face You change the mood
When you walk in
with a smile, yes you do
I haven't been happy for a
while Do we ever stop feeling this?
Throwing my feelings
around like this for you
You change the mood
You change the mood
You change the mood
When you walk in
with a smile, yes you do
I haven't been happy for a
while Do we ever stop feeling this?
Throwing my feelings
around like this for you
You change the mood
You change the mood
You change the mood
[music]
That's really cute.
[laughing]
[old fashioned romantic music plays]
Another night in paradise
A huh
Where is everybody?
Dunno?
Probably doing something-
Yeah probably at home on their computers.
Downloading or steaming.
Streaming, yeah
Yeah, right
Well, it's killing us, you know?
You know, I read statistically that people
would rather steam
cat videos on YouTube than rent a DVD!
Streaming, yeah
Well, they're taking a
steaming shit on DVD rentals.
That much I do know
Gary! It's streaming.
Whatever!
STREE streaming
Whatever.
Just saying it's streaming
I dunno how much longer
I can keep doing this?
Yeah you've said multiple times
My electricity bill
alone is hundreds.
Well $1400's last month.
Wow! That much?
Well we may as well
close up early then.
Really?
Yup.
Let's lock her up.
I'll get the A Boards in. [door
bell chimes] Whoa whoa whoa!
Evening
Sci-fi nerd?
Nah, I bet he's headed
for the porn section
Yeah... bet he wouldn't
have the strength.
BOTH: Heh heh heh
Oh romance!?
How are ya?
Yup
Got a Members Card?
Ahh... not today, bud
Ok
Whoa, whoa!
Empty the register.
You've got to
be flipping joking!
Just fucking
flipping do it mate!
Come on!
Fuck!
Is that it!
Well most people pay
by credit card genius!
Don't fucking mess
with me, old man.
Old man!?
Just don't FUCKING
mess with me OK?
Oooo Kaaay
Wallets
Do it! Fuck.
That's optimistic!
Is that it?
Umm he doesn't pay much.
Fuck'n yours.
All my money was in the till.
Have to say business is bad.
Maybe, you knob jockeys
should get a better fucking job?
At least we have a job.
What?
I said. Nuh nothing.
Anything else?
No wonder these places
are closing down huh?
Fucking pathetic!
We're pathetic?
We're not the ones
robbing a video stor...
Gary shut up!!
Fuckya!
Fuckya!
Fuckya... [door bell chimes]
[ Cheerful in-store
music plays ]
What the hell?
So...?
Still closing up?
Yeah, close up.
[Upbeat 50's guitar surf
music plays] [Drilling into wood]
You watch movies
on an iPad, alone?
Well, yeah.
You seriously need
to get a girlfriend Andy
Not that it's any of your
business but... Camera!
So what did the pigs say?
Police! Andrew!
Show some bloody respect!
They don't frigg'n care.
They give up on crimes that
don't involve a death or two
You reckon?
Too much trouble for them?
They'd rather let the thieves
and murderers run rampant.
It's "Lord of the Flies"
out here, my boy.
Lord of the w-what?
It's every man and
woman for himself.
I think you're
exaggerating, Gary.
Real bad guys come to
a sticky end or get caught.
Don't they?
They have to
Cinema has happy endings, kid.
In Reality - well?
You watch too many movies, Gary.
You think?
Okay, so I have to ask.
What with all the cameras?
Not taking any chances
if I'm going to get robbed.
I want the scumbags
on hard-drive.
Then we'll see who
has the last laugh hey?
Yeah. Probably the con man
who sold you these cameras.
What?
Nothing
That's it.
You ever thought of doing
something else, Gary?
I mean, you're not
getting any younger, right?
Thanks.
Another job?
Hmm.
Na, this is all I know.
Here. I can soak it all up, keep my
finger on the community pulse, so to speak.
Why?
Well, I'm a filmmaker.
Made many films?
Several short films.
I made a feature in '97
Love in a Butcher Shop.
Rom com. Could have been
huge, but it was ahead of its time.
A love story with meat...
god, that's romantic.
Was it a sausage shop?
Ah ha ha ha, very funny.
Successful?
Not in the way you mean, no.
Financially no.
You see it required too much of an
emotional investment from an audience.
Oh, it was boring then.
I'm not going to talk to you if
you're going to be a smartarse!
No no sorry.
Nup
Did it show in many cinemas?
D to V
What?
Direct to video.
Oh
Oh what?
Nothing
You see, that's the trouble
with you kids nowadays.
You've been spoon fed this noisy
kaleidoscope of big Hollywood films.
If it doesn't have superheroes
and action, sex and violence
with a booming soundtrack.
Well!!
Well, that's what the
'peoples' want, Gary.
No one wants to fork out hard earned
money to watch shit and be put to sleep.
Fuck off!
You see... all that crap...
It's not realistic my
boy. Where's the truth?
It's all pretend, Gary.
Wash your mouth out.
I want to get lost
in the cinema again.
I want - suspense,
love, tragedy.
I want it to be real.
I...
I want to believe again.
Well, why own a video store,
if you hate modern films?
You can still deal drugs
and not be an addict.
Mmm, Yeah, right.
Uggh, anyway,
I've got to go and see my
supplier, get some more stock.
You 'right to
look after the fort?
You don't have a
date to go to, do ya?
Ah well-
Oh, who am I kidding?
Of course you don't.
Now if I'm not back by
9:30, lock up for me alright?
Hey.
Thanks,
Kemosabe.
[ Upbeat nerdy organ music ]
[ Clicking of keys on
computer keyboard ]
[ Motorbike approaches ] [
Slow tense rock guitar plays ]
Get off me, for fuck's sake!
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
How about...?
Harry Met Sally?
How about when
Harry... ate Sally?
Gross.
This?
No
This?
Fuck off.
[ Can rattles and
rattles, spins and stops ]
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
What the fuck you
looking at, huh?
Nothing. Huh?
Okay, well, let's
have a good look.
Get off me!
What?
Here get this!
What?
Get up and get this you
stupid fucking bitch, alright?
Oh wait, w, wait...
make it quick huh
We don't have all night.
Got ya card?
Yeah, yea
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
It's just four dollars
thanks
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
[ Ominous guitar music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Motorbike starts
and drives away ]
[ Motorbike burns rubber ]
[ Upbeat playful guitar music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hi. I'm just here...
about, about the job.
Oh! Ahh, dammit!
Ahh that's supposed
to be taken down.
The job's actually
gone. S'been filled
Oh
Someone's got it
Oh, okay.
[ DOOR BELL CHIMES ]
I do not like the day lights
I can only work at night
somewhere in the dark
in de night Ha ha ha ha
[ Door bell chimes ]
FORTUNE TELLER: If I get the job I
can read your palm and tell your future!
FORTUNE TELLER: Let me look!
GOTH GIRL: My hobbies include self-harm
listening to death metal and witchcraft.
On my good days,
I like to crush daisies and
use them as bookmarks.
[ DOOR BELL CHIMES ] KIM: Hi, if I take this
job can I take home lots of sexy movies?
What?
This place...
is an absolute
relic, it's so um...
desperate, like me.
Can't work Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and weekends, though,
because those are the days I
do Zen Do Kai and aerobics.
It's not like I'm a
bad person or nothin.
No, I didn't say that.
It's just, the job's gone, so...
Did you just take a lighter?
No I didn't!
Yeah, I think you did
there was a red one...
Oi!
[ Door bell chimes ]
She just...
But I'll let you know now.
GOTH GIRL: before
things get messy
I have a boyfriend
Yeah. Umm.
Ha ha ha
Six, seven, eight.
At the, Video, Store
renting a movie,
gonna get some
popcorn, have a good time.
Drama... Can I just stop you right
there, please. Just for a second.
Ummm How can I help you?
The fucking sign?
Oh, um... yes.
See, that was supposed
to be taken down.
Shouldn't actually be there.
The job's been taken. So...
You lying little monkey.
Position has been taken.
Oh, position filled
And what would that be sweetie
I'm sort of up for anything.
The jobs gone
It's gone?
Yeah well, you know what?
Maybe you should tell people
that at the beginning, huh?
I gave some my best
material just now, and it's.
It's take, take, take.
Why do people do that?
I didn't. I didn't wanna...
It's a rhetorical
question Bitch!
What's fucking point!
Oooh Andy, you bit off more
than you could chew that day
[ Suburban night street sounds ]
[ Gentle romantic piano ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Gentle romantic piano ]
Hello. What have we got here?
Hi.
Hi.
Ahh... I've come about the job.
Oh, yeah, just. Umm
Just fill one of these out.
Just... just down here
These please
You got a ahh... card?
Yes
Would you like a bag with that?
Ah, yes, please.
Thank you.
[ Door bell chimes ]
All done?
Mmm.
Ok
Umm... You left
out your last name.
Yeah, I know... ah...
Do I have to? Is that important?
Nah, umm it.. it probably is.
Sorry. It's just.
Promise you won't laugh.
Okay.
It's Frigineze
What?
It's Italian. My
Dad was Italian.
And you're laughing?
No umm. Um, how do you spell it?
F r I g
Frig
You know what... why don't I just
do it other wise we'll be here all night.
You got your email and phone
number? [ RUBBER BANANA SQUEAKS ]
Okay, um that should be... good.
Thanks... ahh... when
will I hear from you?
Ummm... the boss will probably
call you in for an interview...
and he'll pretty much
take it from there so...
So... [rubber banana squeaks]
Have you had many
other applicants?
A few, yeah
Hardly any, really.
Okay, great.
I'll see you soon.
Yeah.
Yeah, no problem.
Actually. Why?
Like why do you
want to work here?
Well,
I like movies
and I need the money
and break from bad boys.
But you're not a
bad boy are you?
I mean... yeah a little.
No, I'm not
Good.
No other reason?
No why?
Oh nothing...
You know, working here
might change your attitude
about movies.
About movies, I mean,
and not for the better.
I think I'll take that chance.
[ Door bell chimes ]
What are you're doing now?
Oh Andrew... very clever.
[ Nerdy organ music ]
Just scan it like that.
Run it through there
a couple of times.
Give it to the
customer, and that's it.
And if you have any other questions,
you can just ask Andy over here.
I prefer Andrew.
Actually.
Right... ahhh...
Who you've already met.
Hi.
Hi again.
All right. Um.
Good luck, kids. Heh.
No funny business.
Well, unless, of course...
um... ahhhh... good luck!
Ahh... anyway.
Let's get to it.
Okey dokey.
[nerdy organ music]
Excuse me service, clerk
Do you have Next
Gen series two on Blu?
Umm... Just let me check.
[ Coughing loudly]
Nah, it's okay.
Win 8 or 10?
What?
Windows 8 or Windows 10?
Oh, I don't know.
I just know how to turn it on.
Ah... no, it doesn't
look like we have it.
Sacrilege!!
And you call yourself
a video rental shop?
Yeah, we do.
Fffftt! More like a space
anomaly void of viddy's
from the filmdrome.
Ahhh... Can I help
you with anything else?
So when's that penultimate
edition Trek TOS on BLU coming in?
I don't know.
Your Captain said it would
dock this week! Stardate 72027.4
That's today, to civilians.
Umm... Well, it hasn't. So...
Do you follow the current Trek?
Nah man, come
on give me a break.
So, do you?
No!
I like the 60 series, but...
Next Gen, that bald guy
just comes across as too
much of a limp dick and
the new films are just
trying to copy Star Wars so...
Wash your mouth out!
Well, they are!
Setting for stun!
Star Wars is better anyway.
Say that again.
I dare you.
Star Wars is...
Look.
Can you please stop?
Can you just stop that?
Can I help you
with anything else?
[ Keyboard tapping ]
Hi there.
Do you have "Shriek
of the Mutilated" or
"Sorority House Massacre"?
Shriek...
Nup, doesn't look like it.
"Sorority House Massacre".
Sorry. Sorry. No.
How about "I Eat Your Skin"?
And that's not a request, baby.
Ha ha.
What happened to the... the gore
fest of the eighties and nineties anyway?
I dunno.
The eighties and nineties man...
those were the days!
You know... popcorn
and mixed lollies and...
and an old VHS tape
in a sweaty, plastic case.
I, I have a movie idea,
but should I tell you?
You know what? I'm kind of busy.
Won't take a second.
[ Keys tapping ]
I'll just liked the way
that Kirk handled things
he'd just go the
'old school way'
and use his fists
to get the job done!
Oh! Sensors detect a Caveman!
Oww!
Violence should
always be the last resort.
It's not after short
attention span audiences.
It's cerebral, it's challenging.
It asks questions.
I have a question.
What did Spock
find in Kirk's toilet?
A Tribble?
The Captain's Log.
What did they also
find in his pants?
A Klingon.
He he.
Ha ha ha
[ Slush puppie gushing ]
It'll never be the
same for us old timers.
It's like losing your virginity.
You can only do it once.
You can only die once too!
Not in the movies, Devochka!
Science fiction, motion pictures
and superhero movies are huge!
What does that tell you?
I'll tell you what it tells you!
It says people want
villains defeated
defined heroes and heroines
with romance and happy ending.
Or maybe people just want to escape from their
otherwise meaningless, boring and lonely lives.
Oh, I didn't mean,
you... no, I meant
in general.
[ Nerdy in-store music plays ]
[ Phazer powers up
] [ rap music plays ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Laid back 50's
surf guitar music ]
Hey kids!
Hold up a sec.
Now remember.
Some of these peeps
are our 'bread and butter.'
What!
Well you know, customers
like 'Horror Nut' and 'Trek Nerd'.
Try not to make
fun of them, okay?
We know they're pathetic!
But try not to alienate them.
Sorry, boss.
I just can't help it sometimes.
Yeah sorry.
Hey kids!
With downloads killing us.
We've only got a few
more years left to stay afloat.
So film buffs of any
persuasion are our friends...
Got it?
Got it.
That treat them with
respect and dignity.
And remember, it is our privilege to
provide them quality entertainment
and assorted confectionery
at a reasonable price.
Ok. He he
Hey Andy!
Can you put that new
box collection of Hitchcock
classics down on aisle three
next to the soft porn? Okay?
Okay?
Somebody might confuse the word
cock with... and rent one by mistake.
Yeah tomorrow, or?
Yeah, whatev's.
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
You don't say much, do you?
I usually only speak when
I have something to say.
Okay.
So you still seeing
that ah... tough guy?
Oh, no.
Broke that off just
after... you know.
Yeah,
I felt bad for, like, not doing
or saying anything.
You're sweet.
He would have killed you.
Who's that gonna help?
So you're not
seeing him anymore?
I said no.
Why do you ask?
Oh.
Nothing.
So.
Andy,
tell me about you. Hobbies?
Got a girlfriend?
No girlfriend.
Who needs 'em anyway, I say
it's just a hassle
if you ask me.
Yeah.
I ah...
I play guitar in a band.
Really?
Yeah.
You need a singer?
Oh, um, we already have one.
He's a douchebag! But...
he's ours.
What kind of singer?
Like, (softly) La la la!
Or, (death metal) La la la!
Ha ha, um
(Death metal) La la la!
Right.
So the dark stuff?
Mmm, dark is it gets.
Angry lyrics, then?
No kind of hopeless
for me it's just the way things are,
you know, like with global warming
and lack of NBN in my area.
Oh, you're not joking.
I can't tell with you sometimes.
You don't seem
like a sad person.
I just don't have a really good
view on society or people in general.
And working here doesn't help.
I mean, a couple of late nights here
and you really get to see the underbelly
if you know what I mean.
Bet you're a lot of
fun at parties Tiger.
What parties?
You know, Andy, you've
gotta learn to lighten up.
Live a little. Live
in the moment.
It's not so easy.
You don't know unless you try,
It can't kill you.
It can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
Can't kill you.
[ Street sounds -
police siren passes by ]
Hey!
Bad news?
Hmmpt.
You wouldn't even believe it.
What?
Our 'dead shit'
singer quit our band.
I told you I could sing.
Okay.
Sing me something.
[gentle piano music]
What? Right now?
Yeah.
Rent me at this last shop.
Come on, and rent
me at this last shop.
Hehe
Ha
Okay,
so how?
Like...
Where did you learn to sing?
I... sing in the
shower, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
So, go on.
I wouldn't want to bore you.
No, it's not. It's...
it's not boring.
Ah Nah.
Hey, I shared earlier.
Is that the time?
Umm
I'm gonna go.
I'll see you tomorrow?
Okay.
Okay, well, you're
telling me tomorrow, then.
I hope she doesn't make
a habit of leaving this early.
She has to be somewhere.
Anywhere but here hey?
Mmm.
I couldn't help but overhear
your conversation earlier.
Oh yeah., how 'd
you manage that?
Oh, the sound must
travel upstairs, anyway.
What's with all your
doom and gloom spiel?
What do you mean?
Well you and Stacy?
What?
Well all that crap about
dark music and hopelessness,
I mean, are you deliberately trying
to make you think you're a tool?
No.
I mean, are you?
No, I'm not trying to make
her think I'm a too... Andy!
Women don't want all
that depression crap.
They want to laugh.
They want to be entertained.
I'm not a performing
clown, Gary.
Apparently, you're just a clown.
Now look,
sometimes you have
to be a, a... a performer!
The courtship game
is... is all an act.
The courtship?
It's not 1920.
Do you like her?
What?
Well, I know you like her
I mean, you'd have to be
gay or clinically dead, not to.
Yeah.
Now, listen, I'm going
to give you some advice.
Now, I normally wouldn't bother, but it's
obvious you need some direction, my boy.
Gary I really don't need...
Now just shut up and listen.
Now, firstly, cut out all this
teenage angst and depression crap!
I mean, girls want dependable,
strong adults, not whining infants.
Gary, you can't
talk to me like that...
Secondly, ask her
some personal questions.
Listen, and nod
seriously as she answers.
See, women love to hear themselves talk,
so this shouldn't be too much of a problem.
And what this displays is your
caring, stroke, sensitive side.
Caring stroke, sensitive side.
I know it's a paradox, but women like both
the masculine and the feminine together,
which means you
have to be a good actor.
You mean liar.
Whatever. And always be totally
in awe of everything she says.
As if you were listening to the
Virgin Mary or Marilyn Monroe
or, or, or Katy
Perry, and then...
get her to ask you
some questions.
And once you've
got her attention...
ignore her
What?
You ignore her.
Okay, that's what
I thought you said.
You've showed her your sensitive side
by patiently listening to her tales of woe.
And then when it's your turn to talk,
you clam up. Drives the women crazy.
Well, she'll think you're an
enigma and simply have to have ya.
Bullshit!
It's not the bullshit,
it's THE shit!
Now remember, be strong, listen
and then ignore her.
[ Drum beats fades into
playful in-store music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hey Frigineze!
Like your new outfit!
Looks BOSS!
Thanks.
I went shopping at this totally
sick new place in the city.
It's the new me.
What do you think?
Totally sick. [ STACY LAUGHS ]
So what's the job tonight?
Ah well, Gary's got a bunch
of new stock out the back
that needs to be brought in
and labeled so... (clicks teeth)
You want to show me?
Ahh, it's just out the back
near the coffee machine.
Do you want to show me?
Ah, It's just out the back
near the coffee machine.
[ Playful in-store music ]
Don't get up! I can manage.
Mm... kay
So, Stacy... it's your turn
to spill the old jelly beans.
Where'd you hail from?
Why?
I'm interested.
I grew up on a cattle station
In Lake Nash in the N.T.
Ah cool.
Not cool.
Seven kids in a
sweaty worker's cottage.
Too small for a family of three.
We got by.
Nice place?
Yeah. If you're a masochist.
Nice neighbors, or...?
We lived on a cattle station...
miles from civilization.
How could we have had neighbors?
So you had a big family?
Seven kids I said.
That's a... four dollars thanks.
Andy...
you're not a real
good listener are you?
Huh?
So how'd you get out of
there? [ DOOR BELL CHIMES ]
We moved to Brisbane just
after my father died in a car crash.
That's terrible.
How old were you?
Fifteen.
Whoa
My stepmother
was a fucking witch,
so I was out of there
soon after, and...
I never looked back.
That's really sad, Stace.
I don't know how I would have
coped growing up without my parents.
I'll be back in a
tick my Droogs.
[ Door bell chimes ]
So... have you seen
any good bands lately?
Umm... (cough) nah, not really.
The Reverend's are playing
in the Valley tomorrow night.
And I was wondering...
Well, we better get back to it.
Can't sit and chit chat all day.
Yeah, right.
What's wrong with you today?
One minute you're nice and
the next you're a total arsehole!
And they say women
are fucking fickle.
(Whispered) Fucking Gary
[ Door bell chimes ]
Not again!
What?
Stay down.
Get off me what the fu...!
Shhh quiet!
This is a robbery
Sunshine open the register,
empty it, and hand over
your phone and wallet!
Come on, cup cake!
I said now, not 'Now Now'!
Hey! What are you reaching for?
Keys! Keys to the register.
Is it?
Yeah.
Hurry it up.
Ok, come on!
Is that it?!
That's it!?
Yeah, not many punters today.
Probably because the footy's on.
What!?
Damn it! He's right.
What teams are playing again?
Hey, shut up!
Now, give me your phone and
your wallet and make it snappy.
Holy... shiznit! It's the cops!
Pearl Jam there, must
have fingered a silent alarm!
You dirty little grub. Hey!
Say good night, my bro!
Wait!
What the? What are you...
What are you doing down there?
What kinda place
are you running here?
There's no silent alarm,
he was just protecting me!
Oh, Oh, they're going
into the pizza place!
Is there a back way out of here?
Yeah, but it goes
straight past Giuseppes.
Giu-Giu-Giu wh... Gui-WHAT?
The-the-the pizza place.
What?
What's with all the
bloody cameras?
Security.
Security!? Ha!
S-Security!? Ha ha ha!
Heh heh heh.
It's fricking overkill
if you ask me!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Oooh! They're out!
Ooh, they're coming closer!
Oh... no, it's okay.
They just stopped at the
newsagents! This is FUCKED!!
S'alright! Just relax! Ooh! They're
getting back into their patrol car!
Gees!
They've started the car!
They're going!
They're GOING!
They're GOING!
And...
they're gone.
Okay, let's split.
Thank you very much
for your patience.
This has been real,
real nice.
Come on!
Wait for me!
You WAIT for ME!
How where you so calm?
Heh.
It's not the first time
we've been robbed.
Still, my heart's beating
like a horse though.
Mine too! Really gets
the adrenaline pumping.
A huh.
So... anything exciting
happening, kids?
What?
This can't keep happening, Kate.
Where's the bloody
well "Protect and Serve".
That's the USA, Gary.
Here, it's "With
HONOR we serve".
Well, we're the only
ones copping a serve,
and it ain't pretty!
Brett.
We're looking into
it Gary 'me old son'.
200 and something dollars!
Plus all the loose change
the boy had left in his wallet!
And my staff could
have been killed!
Now I want to know, what-in-the-hell
are you going to do about?
Well, with your extensive security
footage and the accompanying audio,
we've got more than an average
chance of matching suspects.
How many cameras do you have?
Ten all up. Eight
inside and two outside.
Why so many?
I wanted every angle
of my store covered.
And if I'm going to be giving
stuff away, I want it all on hard disk.
That's a bit excessive,
don't you think?
Well no, I don't.
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ A distant police siren ]
Come on, Stacy. We've been
through a holdup together.
So why do you have no fear?
Why?
I had a really
violent upbringing.
My parents fought
like heavyweights,
and, when they weren't laying into
each other, they where laying into me.
Became numb to threat,
I guess.
That's horrible.
Did you ever think of
getting help... or something?
Maybe.
Damage already done Tiger.
I find it hard to get
emotional about anything.
Is that detachment,
why are you date
psychos like Damian?
Ugh! No Dr Phil.
No. (sigh)
I once found some
photos amongst his things.
Monitoring ordinary people
going about their day to day lives.
Sooo... like a pervert?
No.
Maybe?
[ Car approaches ]
There were folders
of addresses and schedules,
and there'd be new
folders every week.
So you think he was, like, some
sort of hitman or something?
Honestly,
I don't know.
Holy crap, Stacy! Talk
about turning a blind eye!
We'll it's better than
turning a black eye.
Yeah.
Yup,
yup,
I... I will.
Thanks, Detective.
Well, that's that.
Cops said that
my security footage
will probably end up on the
local evening news tonight.
So... pretty radical hey!
Radical dude.
Anyway, no more moping about.
Let's get back to it.
Oh, Gary, I'm
still a little shook
up from yesterday.
I was wondering if I
could go home early.
So long as it's cool by Andrew.
Oh umm, sure. Yeah.
Thanks.
[door bell chimes]
Strange girl, that one
You're telling me?
Very strange.
[ Ominous music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Oh...
is that overdue?
Oh, yeah.
So does that mean I have to pay,
like, a overdue fee or something?
Well, normally you would, but you
can just pay it next time you come in.
Oh...
How about you fix it...
so I don't have to pay at all?
Sure.
You like working
in a video store?
S'alright...
If you like long
hours and no money.
Must get a lot of
weirdos in here, huh?
Just regular people, I guess.
Do I look like regular
people to you?
Umm... no.
Well... what do I look like?
Um, a little dangerous.
A little.
Well.
Dangerous.
Ahh.
[slaps counter] Dangerous!
I like that.
No, I think I like you,
kid. You're honest.
And if there's one thing I
admire in a bloke, it's honesty.
What's your name?
Andrew.
Well, Andy,
let me ask you a question.
Seen any girls around lately?
I've seen a lot of girls.
This one isn't 'lots of girls'.
She's tall, blonde,
ooft, banging body,
named Stacy.
Seen her?
Um?
Well, have you or haven't ya?
No.
I...
haven't.
Now you sure?
Yeah,
I'm sure.
All right.
Walt! Tiny!
[ Door bell chimes twice! ]
This is Walt!
So called, because we think
he looks like Walt Disney.
And this... this is Tiny,
so called because...
Why do we call you that again?
Because I have a small dick!
Let me show you something Andy.
Where?
Outside in the car.
Oh, I can't leave
the front desk.
Oh, should be right.
It'll only take a sec.
No, really, I-I-I
can't leave the...
Do as he says, kid.
Good.
Now like I said
before, Andy, I like you.
I like your honesty.
I mean, some fellas are just
never straight with a bloke.
Know what I mean?
I mean, if I had a dollar
for every... so-and-so,
who's lied to me over the years.
Well... I'd be the
Mayor of Brisbane.
I'm not sure it works that way.
What?
Nothing.
In the end it all comes back
to honor, without honor...
Well?
We're no better than
the fuck'n animals.
(Muffled) Hey. Hey!
Hey, help, hey, help!
Ooh, scared ya!
Now, like I was
saying, Andy, honor
and honesty above all else.
(muffled) Help me!
Oh that! Ha.
That's just a bit of
a... practical joke.
Don't you watch Candid
Camera? Heh heh.
Get in the car.
(muffled pleading)
Just a bit of a lark
mate. (muffled pleading)
Oh and Andy!
If you see Stacy,
tell her I'm looking for her.
Got that?
Good boy.
[ Muffled pleading
from car trunk ]
[ Car tires squeal
then burn rubber ]
[ Calm uplifting music ]
And then she says to me, no, no,
I want the Romeo and Juliet with
the rock music and the Hawaiian shirts.
I mean, here she is studying the works
of the Bard and she wants to rent an MTV
inspired load of 'excuse my French' crap,
which literally suffocates Shakespeare!
I thought it was pretty cool.
Well, you would.
Not that it's your fault.
Your generation's just never
been taught to think for themselves.
I think for myself.
When?
All the time.
Choosing which app to install on your
phone is not thinking for yourself Andrew.
Right.
So ah... what do you
do in your spare time?
You don't wanna know.
Fine.
Well,
I'm actually writing a
docudrama about true love.
It's touching, earnest, hopeful
and most of all, classy.
Really?
As we fuck'n speak!
It's going to be real
to use your speak
fully sick, bro.
But... sometimes I wonder what the point
is with all this flashy foreign product,
who's going to care about ordinary
people and their trials and tribulations?
I know what's eating you.
With that video
store closing down...
in Yatala... this must be
like one of the last ones left.
Yeah, is only three left
now in the whole city.
S'that all?
But who's counting?
Downloads are killing us slowly.
End of an era, Gary.
Same thing happened
with Drive-Ins.
Yeah, Cinemas will be next.
Never!
So what's this you're watching?
'Trailer Park Psycho.'
It's about the day to day adventures
of a narcissistic psycho killer.
So now this is exactly
the point I'm trying to make.
What kind of message is this?
Mmm, beats me?
See, in the old days, movies had heroes
with principles and good moral values.
I don't know.
Back then, everything seemed,
clearer and less complicated.
You mean black and white?
Well, you said
it yourself, Gary.
The real world isn't like that.
It's grey.
In the real world, people do
horrible things and get away with it.
Mmm.
Happens every day.
(Coughing)
Oh, excuse me.
Umm... did you happen to
have any cooking shows?
Like umm...
'Big Sausage, little Taco'?
Oh! 'It takes three to make
a spit roast'. Hmm Hmm.
Ok. What about some, um,
some, you know, removalist programs
like 'How much can you shove in me box?'
That's a nice one.
It's very filling.
Actually, I think we
might have that one.
Ohh!
Let me just go and
look for it. Excellent!
We we do? We have
that...? I think we do
Hello.
Hey.
Look at you.
Are you legal?
Nup.
That doesn't matter.
Let me take my teeth out for ya.
[ Relaxing in store music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hey Andy.
Stace.
So, made it in early today?
Yup.
What's the speaker for?
Oh, my shrink said that
learning a waltz would help
with relaxation.
Oh, yeah.
And because the male leads,
it's good for fostering thrust.
I mean, trust.
You just said 'thrust'.
Nope, I didn't.
So what's the speaker for?
Well, I was wondering...
if you're not too busy, ah...
maybe you could help
me with some dance steps.
Umm...
Sure.
Not a problem.
Good.
[ Romantic piano ]
Just relax.
Okay, I just. I just want to let you know
I'm not really good with moving my body.
I mean, moving my hips
rhythmically.
I'm not really.
Just six evenly accented steps
completed by a full turn in two bars of music,
repeated endlessly as the couple turn...
The... couple?
As in we,
spin on the dance floor.
You sound like an encyclopedia.
I have a photographic memory.
That'd be handy.
That's pretty handy.
Now all we need is music.
[ Gentle romantic
guitar strumming ]
Dance with me.
Close your eyes.
Drift away.
Feel the rhythm.
Steady flow from my heart
Every time,
I take your hand in mine,
the world stops...
It's turning.
So dance
with me,
and I'll show you,
the way.
Dance with me
Turn your thoughts
into nothing.
And follow me
I won't lead
you astray.
When I hold
you close and feel the warmth
from your heart
it soothes my soul.
So dance
with me,
and I'll show you
the way.
Oh, how sweet.
[ In store organ music ]
[50'S guitar surf music] I
think she really likes you, boyo.
Nah.
Do ya reckon?
She does.
Now if you're smart
about it, you'll act fast.
Don't wait for her to start
thinking about you as a friend.
Strike while she's hot!
I mean, while the iron is hot.
Look, I really don't need
your advice anymore...
Oh, yes, you do. Now look...
what you need to do, is you
need to write... a romantic note.
With ahh, some flowers
or chokkie's attached
What!
No way.
Yes way, dude.
And do you have any clobber other than
these rags you've been getting 'round in.
Not on what you pay me.
True.
Anyway, when your
around her act strong.
All great leading males have
been physically appealing,
strong, and yet little
bit soft on the inside,
kind of like a Turkish delight.
Life isn't always like
the movies, Gary.
Oh, but it is. It is my son.
And that's where you young
grunge fiends have lost it.
Grunge fiends?
It's not the nineties, Gary.
You know, women like to talk
about independence and liberation,
but when it comes down to the
crunchy roll, they all still want the hero.
The knight in shining armour
who's going to come along and
pick them up and carry them away.
No women are more sophisticated
than you give them credit for.
They like kind of
offbeat, funny,
introspective kinda guys.
That's so?
Yeah.
And how many girls do you know have
Woody Allen posters up on their wall?
It's the latest, strong, heroic
type that they're gagging for.
Whatever you reckon, Gary.
Look.
If it will make it any easier for
you, pretend you're Sean Connery,
or, or Michael Caine.
Who?
Michael Caine.
(Impersonation) Not
many people know 'dis
But the key to a woman's
heart is to make her 'fink
that you're flipping
unattainable.
What?
I said, be bloody
unattainable, my son!
See, women, always want
what they can't bloody well have.
Well, you know...
Alright somebody you know,
uh-uh, Robert Downey Jr...
or-or Johnny Depp!
Actually, they're
both kind of lame.
You see, that's
exactly my point.
I mean, there are no manly
male movie stars anymore.
They've all been
boxed in and castrated
by political correctness.
Look... go and take a
peek at a Humphrey Bogart
movie or for an Elvis
Beach film, for fuck's sake.
Those guys knew
how to treat women.
Been single a long
time, have we, Gary?
Speak of the devil.
Thought, my ears were burning.
That's because it's hot outside.
And what I suggest is
a little bit of sunscreen,
otherwise you're going to
be burnt and red like a lobster.
It's winter.
Fuck off.
As you were.
Hmph.
Gary.
S'been doing it all day.
[ Street noise ]
[ Romantic Parisian
accordion and piano ]
A rose. Nice touch.
Good boy.
[ Gentle romantic
xylophone and piano]
So, any plans
for tonight, Tiger?
Ah no, not really. No.
There's something
I've been meaning
to talk to you about. Um,
I'm thinking about moving on.
What?
An old friend is moving to
Sydney, and she needs a roomie.
Oh.
I mean,
it's not
like there's anything
here for me, right?
New start and all that jazz.
Yeah,
well, you got to do
what you gotta do, right?
I'm going to go get my
stuff from out the back.
Okay.
[ Solemn piano music plays ]
Have you finished
that inventory yet?
Fuck off Gary.
Ricky Bennet.
Flanagan.
Gary Bishop.
Dear Gary, thank you so much
for allowing Starline Distribution
to view and assess your film.
Although I understand,
that 'The Last Video Store'
is a dream project... it really
doesn't fit into our current slate.
So I'm afraid at
this time... decline.
Good luck with your
future endeavors. Best...
and kindest regards, Jenny.
Are you ok?
Fuck!
What do they want?
Space ships!?
A slasher bound, foul
mouthed, Bloodbath!
I mean, where's the
fucking subtlety any more?
I mean, where is
it, for Fuck's sake?
I ask you?
Fuck!
Another rejection
letter for his movie idea.
[ Solemn piano music plays ]
DVD...
the change.
Bye.
Thanks.
[ Hopeful strings play ]
S'everything all good?
Uhuh.
Good.
GOLD COAST LADY: Well, about
time! I was just about to walk out!
Deviants.
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Car approaches ]
Tell him I'm not here.
What? Wait you said...
[ Light switch clicks off ]
[door bell chimes]
How you doing Andy?
Fine.
Been good to yourself?
Yeah. No, no.
I mean. Yeah.
Not really
Told many lies lately?
No, I don't know
how you can do it.
How you can just stand
there with a straight face.
I can stand there all day
every day serving Joe, eff'n public
without wanting to take the nearest heavy,
blunt object and just
smash their teeth in!
I don't know myself sometimes.
It would drive me
around the bend.
Cooped up in here like a canary.
You see, a like me
open spaces too much.
The freedom of it, out on
me Bike. Know what I mean?
Go where you want.
Do what you want.
Do who you want.
Know what I mean?
Well, I guess you don't.
Well, Andy, we could
stand here all day
and wax lyrical about the pros
and cons of video store employment.
But I've got things to do.
And I suppose so do you, so...
Let me cut to the chase...
you seen Stacy around lately?
No.
Have you?
No, I haven't.
Now you're absolutely sure?
Because if I found out you was lying
to me Andy, well... I'd be awfully hurt.
And the thing is, when I get my feelings
hurt, I'm a completely different person.
I'm not the big, lovable panda
bear you've come to know.
I'm more like a... like a...
A grizzly bear.
There you go with that
honesty thing again.
Honesty is going to get
you in trouble one day Andy.
Now, like I was saying...
I haven't seen her.
All right. All right. Heh heh.
Look, I'm sorry
about being a pest.
It's just that she sort of owes
me some money, and, well,
I rather get my affairs
in order before I...
Yeah, I understand.
Great.
You're a good kid Andrew.
Thanks.
That's...
I think it's time you
and I went for a ride.
Oh, well, I can't...
Don't say another fuck'n word!
I can't...
Don't say it, or I'll drop
you, where you stand!
Don't!
Come on.
I really don't know why
you're protecting her kid,
she wouldn't do
the same for you.
Leave him alone fuck face!
Well, well.
So here she is at last!
My little cupcake
hiding in the cupboard.
What were you doing
back there anyway?
You're kidding me.
Mind your own business, Damian.
D'you hear that?
You're not doing him
any favors, sweetheart!
Yeah Stacy you're kinda...
Did I say you could speak?
Andy and I were just about to
go for a lovely ride in the country.
Get out of this stuffy cage
and back to the open spaces.
But now that you're here.
Well, looks like we
can all go together.
One big, happy family.
Bobby Ackworth,
Leah Luddington, Tim Vining.
Neil Talty.
Eric Lumsden.
Those names mean
anything to you Damian?
Because I've sent a list to a
friend in the legal profession
Addresses, dates...
fee for the job.
Everything but the obituary.
If anything happens to me,
or my boyfriend,
I'd say goodbye to
wide open spaces.
Just go. Damian, it's over.
It's over,
when I say it's over!
It's over!
It'll only be over when
one of us is dead!
Hey, watch mate!
Now I think it's time you left.
You're this close,
to a punch in the head, Amigo.
Get outta here!
[ Door bell chimes ]
Friend of yours?
Not anymore.
You 'right, Andrew?
Yeah, I'm alright.
Why did you lie to me?
Does it really matter?
I couldn't face him.
I just couldn't.
It's over!
It'll only be over when
one of us is dead!
Hey, watch it mate!
You're this close, to a
punch in the head Amigo.
Gary?
Ahh.
Yep, yep. (playback) You're this
close, to a punch in the head Amigo.
Listen, I...
I've been doing a
bit of soul searching.
That's always
good, unless it isn't.
I don't want the extra money
to be nice to Andrew anymore.
Sure, ah... I understand.
It's just that, you know...
No really. It's...
It's fine.
It's not like I can
afford it anyway. Mmm.
So what you're doing?
Nothing.
Well, if that's it, then.
Yeah, I suppose.
Looks like Andrew could do
with a little help with the punters.
Close to a punch
in the head Amigo!
Hey.
Hey.
Feeling any better?
Yeah.
Do you still like me?
Of course I do.
I um,
I brought you a Pez dispenser.
Really?
Yeah.
What kind?
Wonder Woman.
Oh
Do you like it?
Yeah.
[ Ominous music ]
Money! Register! Whoa! Whoa!
Move it Blondie, come on!
Back up lover boy!
Hurry up!
Here take it!
You... stupid fucking bitch!
[ Audience applause ]
Oh, fantastic.
And the winner is...
the modern love triangle
to end all triangles.
The Last Video Store.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you all.
This is very difficult for me,
as in, receiving this honor.
I've...
well I've lost two friends.
But I'd like to start by
reading something, if I may.
I have here a love letter
that was written by Andrew
and given to Stacy,
along with a single red rose
only hours before
the shooting, and...
as you have seen,
could have inadvertently
led to the tragic events.
"Stacy, I adore you."
Every time I see
you, my heart beats
a little bit faster.
I'm confused
weakened,
cannot breathe.
It is as if you have put
a spell on me and only
to hold and kiss
you will set me free.
You are like a dream.
"Love Andrew."
Some dreams are real.
And for a short moment,
Stacy and Andrew
had found their own
dream come true.
And I want to thank the
festival for honoring me and...
honoring us with
this award, and...
I only wish they
were still here.
[ The blue Danube
starts to play ]
Get up...
and get this, you
stupid fucking bitch!
All right?
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Ah, I've come about the job.
Global warming and lack of
NBN in my area. (audience giggles)
Yep, yep, yep.
Must get a little
weirdos in here huh?
It's good for fostering thrust.
I mean trust.
Sure. No problem.
[ The blue Danube plays ]
It's over.
Arrgghh!
I'll be over only, when
one of us is dead!
Oui! Watch it mate! Just leave!
[ Audience gasp! ]
(Cries)
[ Audience cheers ]
[ Solemn piano ]
[solemn piano]
Thinking about it now.
All great love
stories are tragedies.
And I suppose
this is no different.
Thank you
and good night.
[ Solemn piano ] [
Audience cheers ]
Destiny Vasquez here with
Gary Wilson, award winner.
Congratulations, Gary.
Thank you very much. It's a great
honor to receive the award. Thank you.
And you were very close with
Stacy and Andrew, weren't you?
Yeah, I was.
And now you're an
award winning director!
Yeah, I suppose I am.
Hi. How are you? (kiss
kiss) You look amazing!
(Blubbering)
What the fuck?
[ Fire wood crackles ]
[ Phone beeps as
numbers dialed ]
[ Phone rings ]
Oh, hi.
Yeah, Damian was there.
He was disguised in this, ridiculous
fake mustache and dyed blonde hair.
But it was him,
because I never
forget a scumbag!
You there?
Yeah, yeah. We're still here.
Well he won't be bothering
you guys any time soon.
So it all went to plan then?
Without a hitch.
And good luck on
your adventure you too.
Thanks, Gary.
Oh, and thanks for
the cruise tickets?
(as Michael Caine) That's
my pleasure, my darlings.
And remember, not
many people know 'dis...
but the key to happiness is
to stay away from arseholes!
Got it?
Got it.
Bye for now.
(Sweetly) Bye, Gary.
(long smoochy kiss)
So when are we going to
give Damian his car back?
We'll have to dump it in
the swamp eventually but,
maybe not straightaway.
Whoa hoo.
Didn't realize you were
such a rebel, Stacy.
I thought that's what
you liked about me?
[ Engine starts ]
[ Happy guitar pop song plays ]
I get kind a bit emotions in
my head I've got explosions
Now I'm drinking these
mimosas Everyday
Now I'm going to extremes
every time I get these feelings
Who's got the amphetamines
Yeah Yeah, Oh Oh
I'm spiraling down to the ground
I'm lost and I'll never be found
Then I just see you around
You change the mood When
you walk in with a smile, yes you do
I haven't been happy for a
while Do we ever stop feeling this?
Throwing my feelings
around like this for you
You change the mood
You change the mood I
can't even try to explain
How you hit me like a hurricane
Now I'm sippin' on champagne everyday
We're spiraling down to the
ground Lost and we couldn't be found
But then I just saw your
face You change the mood
When you walk in
with a smile, yes you do
I haven't been happy for a
while Do we ever stop feeling this?
Throwing my feelings
around like this for you
You change the mood
You change the mood
You change the mood
When you walk in
with a smile, yes you do
I haven't been happy for a
while Do we ever stop feeling this?
Throwing my feelings
around like this for you
You change the mood
You change the mood
You change the mood
[music]
That's really cute.
[laughing]