The Late Game (2024) Movie Script
1
Swamp Rabbits shorthanded
in a situation
where they need three goals in
just under 2 and 1/2 minutes.
Right now trying to
prevent any further damage.
Here's Anderson.
The last of the
goals that he scored
came off of the stick
of the number three.
Somoza trying to turn this
into a shorthanded breakaway.
He comes charging forward.
Great reaching play by
the captain in Cherniwchan
to jump back avoid the backcheck
reach the stick in there
and break up what could have
been a one on one scenario.
Hey bud, what can I get for you?
Did you want something, man?
Cherniwchan feeds
it to the middle,
save made off the
pass to Hrenak.
Backhands it around
over to the near side.
Picked up by Hamonic.
It'll slide forward and get
the clear all the way down,
stopping at his wall, quickly
paddling it ahead to Fortin
again.
1:12 left, 1:43 in the game.
I think they're trying
to burn some time here.
We're kind of in a one--
Hey, I know you.
You played with us a
couple seasons ago.
Roley, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it's Riley.
Riley, dang it, yeah.
Yeah, and you're?
I'm Matt, but everyone
calls me Proton.
Right, sorry.
I should have remembered that.
That's all right.
Dude, how've you been, man?
I haven't seen you at the rink.
Yeah, good.
Work's kept me busy, so
yeah, I haven't really
been able to make
it back out there.
Yeah.
Well, funny timing, what
are you doing tonight?
I just moved into
a new apartment,
so I'm still unpacking.
Dude, I hate moving.
It's the worst.
Yeah, I'm not exactly
looking forward to it.
Yeah.
Well, hey, assuming the
guys didn't scare you off,
um, you want to come
sub for us tonight?
I don't know.
I haven't really played since
the last time you saw me.
I feel like I'd do
more harm than good.
Nah, dude, you were solid.
We'd love to have an
extra guy on the bench.
I've just got a lot to do.
I get it.
It's like a super late game too.
It's like 11:00 PM, I think.
Oh wow.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just really
behind on the move-in.
Dude, I get it.
I get it.
Hey, if you change your mind,
you know where to find us.
And I think I still
have your number.
Let's see.
Yeah.
Riley New Guy.
That's you, right?
Hey.
Here, I'll call you.
[PHONE BUZZING]
Yep, still got it.
Hockey Matt.
I like that.
That's awesome.
Well, I better get going.
All right, man, well,
it's good to see you.
Yeah.
Hey, I mean, those boxes
aren't going anywhere.
I mean, a good sweat could
help you out, you know?
Warren puts it off the pass.
Back to even strength.
Out of the box is Ierullo
This is shoveled forward
looking for him.
He gloves it down
out of the air.
Looks up, looks for help.
Sees backside of changes
coming and unsuspecting
what he's been as he was
stepping over the boards.
Ierullo down the right hand
wing, poked away by Maass.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[PHONE CHIMES]
A bitter rivalry.
Oh, I'll tell you what.
[ROCK MUSIC]
(SINGING) I'm sayin' somethin'
I'd be somebody else
Shouted down dusty halls
I'm saying somethin'
Always heard someone else
Back when life
was lived in color
And my minutes could be counted
I'm saying something else:
I'm using someone now
I think I'm breaking
Maybe breaking out
[BUZZING]
Slightly cracking
Inside there's someone else
Desperately pacing!
I can't do nothing else
Oh isn't it great to
be erasing it all?
Until there's nothing else
I knew it'd be the same when
My voice was wearing out again
I'd wiped out all my gains-
I'm using someone now
I think I'm breaking
Maybe breaking out
Slightly cracking
Inside someone else
[PHONE CHIMES]
Just fucking do it.
It's hockey.
You like hockey.
Just fucking do it.
You got this.
[background] Reflected.
Mirror reflected.
What?
No.
You're not a superhero.
[INAUDIBLE] pretend.
Absorbed your energy.
That's my energy now.
You don't have it.
You're not freaking Dr. Strange.
Not yet.
Not never.
Dr. [INAUDIBLE] is more
like it. [end background]
I just don't understand why
they put these games so goddamn
late.
You know what I don't
fucking understand?
Why the fuck did you pack this
and you didn't roll a fucking
joint?
I was just in a hurry, man.
Dunny had me working late.
You're pissing me off
is what you're doing.
Fucking hurry, my ass.
Just fucking smoke it so we
can go get our asses whooped.
I'm not even in the mood
for Chet shit tonight.
Oh shit.
Who's that?
Wait, was he looking over?
I don't know, dude.
Just chill out.
Who the fuck is that guy?
Casey.
Yo Chet, what's up, man?
What's up, dude?
How are you?
Good, you?
It's been a long time, man.
I'm good, I'm good.
Yeah, no kidding.
Boys are pumped
to have you here.
But uh...just a little late
[BANGING]
Fuck this.
Dude, you made it.
Yeah, I'm here.
Can't find the
right room, though.
Oh, that's awesome.
No, no worries.
We're in this one
right over here.
What's up, you sexy boys?
There he is.
How are you doing?
So good.
Oh hey, I got us a sub tonight.
You guys remember Riley?
Oh yeah.
About a year ago, right?
Yeah, but just for a game.
Yeah.
Yeah, you paid in full.
Man, I tried to contact
you a bunch after,
but I must have
had the wrong info.
Yeah, I can't remember
what happened exactly.
So I'm John, if
you don't remember.
And that's Nick over there,
but let him approach you.
He's got a bit of
a pre-game routine.
Got it.
Yeah.
And this rude ginger
here, that's Kevin.
I'd advise not letting
him approach you at all.
Dude, I'm strawberry blonde.
What's up, bro.
I'm Kevin.
Basically the only
funny guy on the team.
Nice to meet you.
Totally.
Oh John, John, John,
is it cool if I
get your back up stick again?
Dude, this is the
third game in a row.
Get a new stick.
I can just go home.
Yeah, you can.
All right, man.
Yes.
Hey, no slapshots though.
What about my heater?
What heater?
Oh, you'll see.
Game's at 11:00, right?
Yeah, we're not really like
the warming up kind of team.
Guys tend to trickle in,
like, right before puck drop.
How many guys are you expecting?
Counting you?
Seven, maybe eight.
Yikes.
I'll try not to weigh
you guys down too much.
Dude, don't even sweat it, man.
We're just glad you're here.
Maybe eight?
Who's the maybe?
Jason.
[LAUGHS]
Dude.
Dude, Jason's not coming, man.
No chance.
No way, man.
He's right.
It'll be seven plus Nick.
Why so many no shows?
Dude, it's just
the late game, man.
It's like pulling
teeth with these guys.
Oh God, here we go.
John, just do it man,
before, anyone else shows up.
I don't know if you have a
dentist in town yet, but like,
I could totally hook you up.
Oh.
Um, thanks.
Yeah.
I'll let you know.
I've got coupon codes
on there, details
about our super
convenient online portal.
And yeah, I wrote my email
and my celly on the back.
Oh yeah.
chicletsmagnet{jcdentistry.com.
Just don't let him bully you
into a free mouthguard fitting.
Spoiler alert, you still
pay for the mouth guard.
I don't get why
you guys talk shit.
Because you need shit.
Most people charge for
the fitting in addition
to the mouthpiece.
The point is, though, I don't
put pressure on my teammates.
If you want a
mouthpiece, I got a guy.
Just let me know.
Thanks.
I just had my cleaning done,
but I'll try you next time.
Cool, yeah, no pressure at all.
Let me guess, Johnny's
pushing more mouth guards?
Boys, that online
portal, super convenient.
That's my boy.
Yes sir.
What's up, guys?
Hey, this here is Riley.
He's going to be
subbing for us tonight.
Grayson.
What's up, man?
Yo dude.
Tyler.
How's it going?
Were y'all the guys smoking out
that car in the parking lot?
Dude, I fucking called it.
I told you I wasn't
sketching out.
He was dead ass looking at us.
Oh yeah.
You were so fucking sketched
out, are you kidding me?
Here's your jersey, bud.
Oh, shoot, John,
you even washed it.
Yeah, I hope you like apple pie.
So no Jason tonight?
[LAUGHS]
Dude, no.
Called that shit too.
What's up, fellas?
Hey.
What's up, Sondy.
Just laid the wood on
Smokey Seafood 6-2, dude.
Yeah.
So you score any?
How about a hat trick, huh?
Not so bad.
Yeah.
Good job, bud.
Thank you.
Hat trick and a win.
You going to celebrate?
Well, some Shoney's
would hit the spot,
but unfortunately it's too
late and they're closed.
Oh, yeah man, too bad.
Probably going to have to
hold off till Thursday,
'cause they're opening
that new Super Shoney's up
in Spartanburg.
Dude, I have been
dying to try one.
What makes it super?
How about an ice cream station.
Wait, did I say a?
I mean two ice cream stations
and a meat carving station.
Also Edwin McCain is
cutting the ribbon.
Wow.
Need I say more, fellas?
That does sound--
that sounds super.
Super lame.
Yeah.
Man, well, safe travels, dude.
I know it's a long drive.
It is far, but it
will be worth it.
If you say so.
So anything else you need?
Oh yeah, sorry, I noticed
you guys were short.
So maybe I should just
bring my stuff in here?
Oh no.
No, no, no.
I think we're all good, dude.
I just, the guys are on the way.
I mean, it's eight minutes
till ice time, dude.
Maybe I could join the pie boys.
I'll just chill.
We appreciate it, man, but
I just texted the guys.
They're in the lot.
They're coming in right now.
So.
All right, bros,
have a good game.
Bring it in.
Polly Pies on one?
No?
Nothing?
All right.
Hey, remember, you're
my best friends.
I love you guys.
OK.
What the fuck?
Dude sucks.
This fucking guy.
Don't we need the help?
Or does he just suck really bad?
Where to start, man?
He's not, like, bad at hockey.
Dude, he is annoying as fuck.
More annoying than me.
By a little.
And he doesn't fucking
pass, like, ever.
And he talks about Shoney's
all the fucking time.
What is Shoney's?
Oh man, dude.
He would fucking kill
for you to ask him that.
It's basically like a
mediocre buffet place.
It's popular with the
after church crowd.
He's OK with this
being a different food
establishment then?
[LAUGHS]
That's good, man.
Hey, maybe we can use that as
an excuse for the next time.
Not even funny.
So what's with this place?
Are we sponsored or something?
Proton here thought we might
get some free pie out of it.
Dude, it still might work.
Polly just said we got
to win the championship.
I mean, it's so doable.
Definitely possible.
All right, well we could
have bought 50 pies
for the cost of these jerseys.
Yeah, but as everyone
knows, dude, free pie just
tastes better.
Right?
Don't you think jerseys were
just committing a little too
much to this bit?
No, I don't.
Dude, Johnny's
just mad we didn't
let him sponsor the team.
Marketing is tough these days.
If you guys had businesses,
I'd happily support them.
But dude, John Calamino's
Cavity Crunchers?
It's alliteration.
You guys were cool
with Polly's Pies.
Yeah, but we gave you
the shoulder patch.
That's true.
OK.
Really?
Yeah, no one can
fucking read it.
I know that was on purpose.
What?
Dude, come on.
Johnny, why the fuck?
Look at me, John.
Do you think I would do
something like that on purpose?
Seriously though.
Hey man.
I know you're new and all, but
I'm the funny guy on the team.
Huh?
That joke you said in there?
That's something I do.
But dude, don't think
about it too hard.
I've known these
guys for a while.
You'll totally get it.
You dripped some water on
your shirt, by the way.
Boop.
[LAUGHS] Gotcha, man.
See you out there, bud.
Stupid new guy.
You looking forward
to getting on the ice?
No.
Not at all.
Dude, we got to have
a better attitude
in front of the new guy.
We could just
forfeit and go home.
That does sound nice,
but we're already here.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, Noely's here.
What's up, baby?
Thank God.
Hurry up, please.
Hey.
Hey, go warm up.
I'll see you in a second.
All right, playboys, stay
hawrt Oh, what's up, boys?
Good thing I'm still
in my gear, huh?
Because according
to my calculations,
you're down a skater.
So you want me to hop on?
I'm still loose.
Yeah, yeah, no, no.
Noel just showed up.
That's cool.
Noel's cool.
I love Noel.
You love Noel.
We all love Noel and me.
But earlier Kevin
came up to me and he
was like, "oh my
God, Sondy, you're
the best hockey-- you're like
Connor McSondy or whatever,
you know what I mean?
So could you hop on the ice?
Because we need the dub."
And I was like, "I guess
I could do that, you know,
because I'd love to."
Dude, as much as I would
like to not play with Kevin,
it's not my call.
I hear you.
I don't have a
letter on my jersey.
You're going to have
to talk to the captain.
Johnny boy here's
got you covered, OK?
I hear you loud and clear.
Yeah, so talk to John.
John, you got it.
Hattie then some natties.
Hey, maybe.
Stay cold.
All right, will do.
What do you think, captain?
You need three goals
in your corner?
As nice as that sounds,
Sondy, um, jersey,
you'd have to wear
a white jersey
or they'd make us forfeit.
I know what you're saying.
You're saying that I
need a white jersey
because you need me.
So you know what?
I will not fail you.
I'm on my way to
get a white jersey.
I'm going to save the game.
Fuck.
Goddamn bunch of jerks.
Keeping me here till
after friggin' midnight
to play goddamn
beer league hockey.
Ooh, I scored a goal
in front of six guys.
Fucking meat head pigeons.
Fuck you looking at?
Nothing.
Yeah, thought so.
Keep roaming, keep moving.
Dickhead.
Dude, ignore that guy, man.
How are you feeling?
Well, my gear is crusty
as hell and my skates
are dull, but other
than that, not too bad.
Hey, that's not so bad.
You just get a little sweating
in you, that'll crust out.
Right.
I just hope the muscle
memory comes back, you know?
Yeah.
I hear it's like riding a bike.
But I never learned how
to ride a bike either.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh no.
I didn't know you were
scorekeeping tonight.
Yeah, man.
You want some help?
Yes, please.
I messed up.
All right.
Yeah, thanks.
You're welcome.
How have you been?
I'm good.
You know.
Good.
A nice 11:00 PM
beer league game.
Where else would you rather be?
Oh my God, nowhere.
I know.
Yeah.
Who's the new guy?
Oh, this sweetheart right here?
Oh, this is Riley.
Hey Riley.
Oh my God, Young
Genos are tonight.
Did you guys warn him?
No.
I had to get him in
the building first.
OK.
Nice tactic.
Don't worry about it.
All right.
Just please don't let
them run the score up, OK?
I will do my best.
Yeah, OK.
Look at this, huh?
Sweetheart, am I right?
Yeah, chivalry, man.
I know.
Have fun I guess.
We'll try.
[LAUGHS]
So who are we playing tonight?
The Young Genos.
I mean, are they good?
I mean, they're really good.
They're the whole reason
we have a mercy rule now.
They beat this team 24 to 1.
Holy shit.
Beat their dicks in the dirt.
But don't feel too bad.
I mean, it was Sondy's team.
Great pep talk, man.
I'm about to look like
an asshole out here.
Hey man, we all look
like assholes out here.
You'll be fine, man.
Thanks.
Man, spending your money to play
frigging beer league hockey.
Losers.
Guy thinks he's Rod Brind'Amour.
It's terrible.
I hate this fucking job.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I hate these guys and
all, but for once, I'd
love to warm up
as a goddamn team.
Are they always this intense?
Pretty much.
Make sure you keep
your head up out there.
It can get pretty chippy.
Yeah, I know the type.
Holy shit.
That guy's new.
Do you know him?
No, but fuck he looks good.
That hair.
It's really doing
something for me.
[SIGHS]
Where the hell are
the rest of the guys?
Fuck.
But like, why was he even
considered a good coach?
What do you mean why?
Homie took a ragtag
district five team
and made them fucking champs.
Dude, it was pee-wees.
So a gold medal in the
Junior Goodwill Games
ain't fucking shit either?
Come on, Gray.
Why the fuck should he
get credit for that?
He barely spent any
time with his team.
Charlie fucking Conway
coached that team.
You know it.
And pushing those weak ass
fucking Air Bombay loafers,
dude.
Come on.
OK.
One, those Air Bombay
loafers are fucking fire.
Two, you don't
think that he could
have a fucking social life too?
Those kids had to spend all
day with that tutor lady.
Wait a minute, why were
they even in school?
Wasn't it the summer?
Holy fuck, Noel.
Ah, Young Genos tonight.
Good thing we stretched.
[PUCKS CLATTERING]
So how's it going?
Oh, not too bad.
Having fun?
Yes, so far.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, convincing.
Well, I tried.
So where are you from?
Around Denver.
Oh nice.
Yeah.
I came out here just
over a year ago.
Were you skating out there?
Yes.
Yeah, a couple times a week.
Why weren't you skating
as soon as you got here?
Partly work.
Partly personal stuff.
Honestly though, just
finding a whole new team
and meeting new
people, it's just
a little overwhelming for me.
Yeah.
I mean, making friends as
a grown ass adult is weird.
Yes, exactly.
I feel like I don't know how
to act in social situations
anymore.
I don't know.
I just get all up in my
head about it, I guess.
Well, I mean, these
guys are really nice.
Just don't let
Kevin give you shit.
I'll do my best.
Awesome.
Well, that's my expert advice.
[LAUGHS]
All right, but you'll be fine.
Just have fun.
Thank you.
What's up, bud?
Oh God.
I'm definitely down for
some Wild Wings bro.
Buddy, I'm always up the wing.
Just let me know.
We can get some
pictures or something.
Fucking do it.
Watch some football, bud.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
All right, brother.
What?
You're going to love that guy.
Who is that?
Chet Ennis.
Dude is such a chode.
Must be what that C stands for.
[LAUGHS]
You're just jealous
people think I'm cool.
Yeah?
Is that it?
You mean like your two fucking
brunch buddies over there?
We went to brunch one time.
They're not that bad.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah.
Dude, this fucking sucks.
Let's just get this
shit over with, dude.
[GRUNTS]
Dude, I'm practicing
my freaking heater.
Get the fuck out
of the way, K-dog.
Jesus.
Dude, I said no slapshots.
What the fuck?
Don't bully me in
front of the new guy.
[GRUNTS]
Where is it?
Where is it?
If you're looking for the pizza
Lunchables, I forgot them.
I'm not looking for
the pizza Lunchables.
I'm looking for the
air horn that I know
I packed right before we left.
It is safe.
Can we leave it at that, please?
Yep.
That's fine.
Don't pout.
I'm not pouting.
You're pouting.
Fry.
What?
Look at me.
No.
Look at me.
Nope.
Give me those eyes.
Remember why we're here.
For Kevin.
Because?
Because Kevin's the
coolest guy that we've ever
met in our whole
life and we just
want to be best friends
with him forever.
That's right.
And when he realizes that
we're his best friends, what
happens next?
Well, then we go
brunch crazy, brother.
Yes.
I'm talking shrimp.
Yeah.
Grits.
Yeah.
My-mosas.
Yep.
Benedicts.
Uh-huh.
Maybe even those
little crepey things.
Crepes.
They're crepeys.
Crepeys, yeah.
Cheered me up.
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
All right, boys.
Can you stop that, please?
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
Seriously?
It's distracting.
Trying to give a
pre-game speech.
Oh.
Anyway,
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
this is going to be a tough one.
I want your fucking heads in it.
They start fast.
We're going to have
to weather the storm,
and it will be all right.
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
[CHUCKLES]
Dude, you sound like
some weird stepdad.
Thanks, dad.
Cool.
Fuck me, right?
Just fucking trying to plan.
All right.
Riley, Proton, you guys
are on D. Spell you
when I get the chance.
Rest of us up front.
Let's go, boys.
Let's start on time.
Yeah.
Love the enthusiasm.
[FARTS]
Jesus Christ.
We're all waiting for
you at the dot, man.
Let's go.
Warm ups are over?
Yeah.
All right.
Just give me a minute and
I'll be right out there.
OK.
Fuck.
Sup Chet?
Hey man.
See y'all got a
short bench tonight.
Who's the new guy?
Just some guy who hasn't
played in a while.
I'd ask you to take it
easy on us, but you know.
Oh, come on, we won't mercy
you unless you want us to.
We know you old guys need to get
home early and get your sleep.
OK.
Fuck.
And Casey's here?
What, you guys weren't
blowing out people enough?
Saw he came back to
town, had to pick him up
before anyone else could.
Yeah, well that's fucking great.
He wouldn't help out your
old ass team anyways, guy.
Yo, what's up, Casey.
No shit.
What's up, man?
Nothing much.
What are you doing hanging
out with this fucking jabroni?
Yo, so you're on my strong side.
I'm going to win it
right back to you.
If you could flip
it up off the boards
without icing it and keeping
it away from that guy,
it'd be great.
I'll do my best.
All right.
Let's do it, dude.
Fuck.
Out of the way, ya
pair of arseholes.
All right, guys.
Let's get this
stinker over with.
Fucking pecker
heads, we're going
to keep this clean
tonight, all right?
You hear me?
Goalie, goalie.
Nice try, bud.
Get there, Kevin,
get there, Kev.
Casey, Casey.
Get it back.
Oh, he's going wide.
Oh, God damn it.
Somebody cover D. Cover D, guys.
Fuck.
[CHEERING]
All right, that's--
Good start, good start.
Not how we wanted to start,
boys, but we'll get it back.
Don't worry.
Hey babe, you picked
a terrible time
to start playing hockey again.
Dude.
Don't worry about it, man.
These guys only play
here because they're
too stupid for college.
There it is, man.
Come on.
Shake it off.
We got it.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Hey, maybe we shouldn't
make big plans this time.
Fuck.
Hey sports fans, you got a
white jersey I could borrow?
John's saying it's got to match
or they'll have to forfeit.
I'm sorry, what was that, Sondy?
I said, do you have a white
jersey I could borrow?
Oh, I wish.
We'd been asking Kevin for
fan jerseys for forever,
but they don't have any.
Shoot.
All right, well thank you.
Of course.
Oh wait, there's a
lost and found hamper
by the skate rental booth.
You should try there.
You might get lucky.
That's where I
found this jacket.
I forgot about that.
Thank you, brother.
Of course.
All right, pie guys.
Hey, y'all still down to go
to Spartanburg on Thursday?
Oh, heck yeah, we want
to go with you, man.
Because word on the
street is first 100 people
get a $25 gift card and a
signed photo from Edwin McCain.
So.
Do you think he's going to play
that one song, the (SINGING)
and I'll be.
If he doesn't, we
will, all right?
Heck yeah.
I will set the building
on fire if he doesn't.
You got my word.
All right, guys,
have a great game.
Bye, Sondy.
Shit, shit, shit.
Aw, get there, get
there, get there.
Fuck yeah.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I mean, I don't know what
the fuck we do either.
All right, boys.
All right, I know we're
down a couple early here,
but let's pot 'em back.
What the fuck?
It's going to be a long night.
You got this, guys.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Not me.
Not me, please.
Oh Jesus.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
Step up, step up.
Yo, yo, yo.
Boys, play responsible out here.
Let's take this seriously.
Hey man.
You have great teeth.
Thanks.
Here, check out my mouthpiece.
Maybe you need one.
Keep it in your mouth, bud.
Oh, well, all right.
Well, you have a
dentist in town yet?
I think I'm all right, man.
Well, if you don't,
man, 25% off.
I got this super
convenient online portal
you can check out.
Call me anytime, 24/7.
Yeah, I'll make sure I
give you a call, man.
You're the kind
of patient I want.
Great, great moves out
there, and man, that flow.
How do you think that hair
would look on a dentist?
Cover point, cover point.
Kevin, get your guy.
Shit, shit, shit.
Left side, left side.
Get it out, guys.
Left point.
Someone cover back.
Back of the net.
In front of the net.
Left side, left side.
Front.
Watch the front.
Yeah.
Got a floater.
Watch him, watch him.
Apple, what are you doing?
Tie him up.
Nick, Nick, huge save, buddy.
Good one.
Loose, loose, loose.
Help him out.
Shot.
Nicky Noodle with the save!
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Dude, this one time in pee-wees,
I was grounded for some reason.
I don't remember why.
[LAUGHS] Probably
something stupid.
You can ask my dad later.
But he said if I
scored a hat trick,
I would totally be ungrounded.
You know what happened?
I totally went back
to back to back--
natty hattie.
And I was ungrounded
the next day.
Cool.
Sorry, is there a reason
you're telling me this?
I thought it might pump you up.
Give you some motivation.
Kevin, get on the fucking ice.
Come on, let's go.
I'm going, I'm going.
Fucking shit, dude.
You can do it too, man.
Go ask my dad.
Let me guess.
He told you the hat trick story.
Yeah.
Is he for real?
Dude, he thinks so.
See, I don't think
he's scored three goals
in his whole fucking
life, honestly.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Come on, boys.
Tyler, come on.
Walk it out.
Pass it up, pass it up.
Come on, guys.
Don't play fucking
tennis with the puck.
Oh!
Good shit, man Riley, let's go.
[INAUDIBLE]
Get it the fuck out of here.
Clear out the trash, guys.
Somebody ice the fucking puck.
Great shot.
That was dirty, brother.
Nice fucking save, Nick.
Sorry I don't back check, man.
I'm tired.
Fuck.
I hate to leave the new guy
hanging, but I'm exhausted.
I fucking hate
playing these guys.
I'm just so sick of them
throwing the fucking
body around like they're
about to get a call up.
Yeah.
I don't think they understand
the recreational part of this.
No.
And they pull this trash
all game and the refs
wonder why it boils over in
the third every single time.
Every time.
But don't get kicked out.
Two on the bench is bad enough.
I'll try.
Three hat tricks in one night,
you'll be in the papers.
Oh God.
Hey boys.
I found the white jersey.
Probably want me on the
ice immediately, huh?
Hey Sondy, I don't
think you can, man.
The game's already started.
I mean, it's a
sick jersey though.
Thank you.
I stole it out of
some dumb kid's bag.
Are you sure we
can't just ask Erin?
We can.
OK.
Hey Erin.
Hey Erin.
Erin.
Hey, Sondy wants to hop on
for us, but he can't, right?
The game started.
Yeah.
The score sheet's locked in.
I can't add to it
once the game starts.
Are you sure?
I mean I saw somebody
from the Flying Soldiers
did it last game.
Yeah, I know, but
if I do something,
then the other team's
going to just, like,
possibly dispute the outcome
because of an illegal player.
I guess it's just
their policy, Sondy.
You know we'd love
to have you, man.
That really is a
bummer for you, not me.
Because I'm going to go
eat an egg salad sandwich.
But good luck without me.
You'll need it.
I love you guys.
Oh my God.
Close one.
Jesus.
What a mutant.
Jeez.
Another fucking hole?
Mark, Mark, yo Mark, come here.
Oh Jesus, Murphy.
Yeah?
Can we get that fixed?
I don't want to blow out another
fucking knee in this place.
Yeah.
You got a water bottle?
Yeah.
There you go.
Take care of this.
Jesus, the fucking water
ball doesn't even work.
Does anything work around here?
John bought them.
Can you expect anything else?
Would be nice if someone could
cut the fucking ice around here
sometimes.
Jesus Christ.
The fuck you say?
Have you seen this?
It's a fucking joke.
Bud, they pay me to put a
layer down, not redo it.
Don't put the shit on me.
He's got the point.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Guys, get the puck out.
Come on.
I got high.
I got high.
[GRUNTS]
Come on, Noel, you're
better than him.
Come on, Noel, put it by him.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, that's BS.
5 White trip!
Suck my dick from the back.
Fuck you, buddy.
I bet you'd like that.
I fucking would.
Kick his friggin' ass, Noel.
Mark, Mark, can I sub
in the P box for Noel?
Would you piss off?
You know everybody has to
serve their own penalties.
But I'm tired.
Holy-- fuck off you jackwagon.
Can we play fours at least?
Come on.
Fuck you, buddy.
You couldn't pour
water out of a boot
if the directions
were on the heel.
Everybody fucking
hates you, Chet.
You're a loser.
It is what it is.
Look who's losing right now.
Wait till I get out.
Let me see you do something.
What's up, cutie?
I got five white with a trip.
Christ.
Sorry, boys.
It's all good, Noel.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
You doing Bumble?
Yeah.
Any luck?
Yeah, this lady Padgett just
matched me before we got here.
She hasn't said anything
yet, but she is good looking.
Should I tell her that?
What?
No, don't tell her that.
That's gross.
You got to lie.
I don't know if I feel
comfortable doing--
that's just being fake, right?
Yeah, it's being fake.
You just got back
in the dating scene.
I mean, these apps, it's a
complete game changer, man.
I guess you're right.
Do you think I'm
ready for that though?
You don't have to be ready.
You got the expert
sitting right next to you.
Me.
Well, I'm excited to go
to Shoney's next week.
I wish we didn't have
to go with Sondy.
What?
Why?
I think I was pretty clear.
He freaks me out.
I don't want him
in our entourage.
He's trying to
steal you from me.
No one could steal
me from you, OK?
OK.
Come on, boys.
I'm in the clear.
Come on, help him out.
Get it out.
Clear it.
Oh shit.
Let's go, Nick.
Atta boy.
Atta boy.
Get the fuck out.
Cover, cover.
Nice save, nice save.
Right side, right side.
Man up.
Man up.
Get the fuck off me.
You got five seconds.
Yo, Casey!
Casey!
Got Noel coming out.
Yeah, Nick.
Holy fuck that sauce!
Woo!
Let's go, Noel.
Let's go, baby.
Fuck yeah, bud.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Woo.
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah.
Woo.
I think I was pretty clear.
He freaks me out.
Have you seen him?
I don't want him
in our entourage.
Hey, Hubee, what's up?
What is up, Sondy?
How are you?
What's up, Sondy.
We saw you walking
around the boards.
That jersey was too small?
No.
It looked pretty small.
The hell would you know about
anything at all about hockey?
I am a hat trick man.
OK?
That's why I wear
the tight Jersey.
It makes me fast.
Laws of speed.
That is true, Fry.
You don't play hockey.
But--
Like what did happen?
Some red tape bullshit, dude.
They were saying something about
me being an illegal player.
I think they hate the flag.
That's typical, man.
I'm sorry.
I know.
Socialist nonsense.
They could have really
used me today too.
They could have.
We saw you got a hat
trick earlier today.
Hatty daddy over here.
You saw that?
Sure did.
Yeah, we stay on the
website, so we saw it.
So you saw how sweet I am?
Yeah, pretty sweet.
Well, so, what do
you got going on
in the rest of the night, man?
You just getting out of here?
No, I got to run to my car.
I got an egg salad sandwich
in there that I need to eat
or, you know.
That does sound
good, but you know
you're more than welcome to join
us for the rest of the game.
I even think we're going
to Waffle House with Kevin
afterwards.
I know it's no Shoney's, but.
Wait, you want to go
somewhere else with me
that's not here together?
Yeah, of course, man.
That's awesome.
Dude, I got a fruit
punch in my car.
I will be right back.
Hey, fruit punch.
We love fruit punch.
Do you have any more?
I don't have any more.
I'll see you guys there.
All right, Sondy.
You know where to find us, man.
What are you doing?
What?
I invited him to the game.
Why would you invite him?
You said we need more friends.
Me, you, Kevin.
That's all the friends we need.
You're going to have us go to
a second location with Sondy?
That Sondy?
It's the Waffle House.
You love Waffle House.
We're going to end
up in his trunk.
What?
No, we can ride
in the back seat.
I have work tomorrow.
I'll write you a doctor's note.
Would that be legit?
Of course.
Solid period, boys.
All right, guys.
Nick was really bailing
our asses out though.
This should be a
blowout right now.
We got to play smarter.
Thanks, dad.
Riley, I know it
was a rough start.
I really appreciate
you not quitting on us.
Looks like you're
starting to settle in.
It doesn't feel like it.
Nah, dude, fuck that.
It's just a tough time
to get started, bud.
You're fine.
You're good.
Love you, Nick.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Fuck you, buddy.
Get your nuts off my goalie.
What the fuck are
you guys going to do?
Show some freaking class.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Hey Erin, it's pulled up.
Would you mind just plugging
it in and hitting play?
Thank you so much.
Yeah, what is this?
something cool.
Is it?
All right.
I'm going to sell
some mouthpieces.
OK.
[ROCK MUSIC]
(SINGING) Attention, Young
Genos, players, and fans
If you have dental needs then
I'll put you in good hands
You're not in the show,
but your teeth deserve fame
You can get a special discount
if you write down this name
I'm Dr. John Calamino
DDS degree from Reno
And I got a special
discount for the Young Genos
Fitting is free
Mouthpiece will cost
an additional fee
Keep keeping your
grill looking fresh
Get a filling
Don't stress on the bill
'cause the cleaning's on me
It's tooth hurty
Our dentist chairs
are never dirty
So skate on over in a hurry
Get your whites pearly
Uh, we might be
rivals on the ice
But who wouldn't want a
smile that's twice as nice
Located at 230
Ashley Phosphate road
next to Bojangles and
Frankie's Fun Park.
Free fitting subject to
your insurance provider.
Mouthpiece not included.
This song is property
of Chiclets Magnet LLC
and unless on TikTok, any
unofficial use of this song
is strictly prohibited without
express permission of JCD.
Note to self--DM Biz Nasty again
Oh fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck, it's still going.
Erin, turn it off.
I don't know-- I don't know
what you want me to do.
I can't get it to stop.
Move.
Copy league email addresses to
populate newsletter audience.
Refill binder with the
new glossy mailers.
Tattoo ideas.
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
I don't--
Thank you.
I don't know.
[LAUGHS]
Fucking asshole.
What?
I was trying to move.
[LAUGHS]
That was more exhausting
than the game.
What?
Oh my God.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Oh God, I'm so sorry, Nick.
So sorry.
Oh.
Wait, wait, get it out.
Get it out.
Throw it up.
Throw it up!
Watch on top.
Watch on top!
[INAUDIBLE]
Come on, you guys.
Backdoor, backdoor.
Get it out.
[INAUDIBLE]
Come on, Apple.
Come on.
[INAUDIBLE]
Can't get by one on
this guy tonight.
Ridiculous.
So I'm sucking at D now.
Can you switch with
me for this shift?
Yeah, of course.
OK, I'm going to
win it back to you
and go left if you want
to push it off the boards.
Hell yeah, sounds great.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Let's go, boys.
Let's go.
Let's do this.
Uh.
Yeah.
Yes.
Fucking A, boys.
Got one.
Good shift, buddy.
Looking good out there, boys.
Legs are active.
The fuck are you talking about?
We should be blowing
these fuckers out.
It's fucking beer league, Chet.
Relax, bud.
Dude, what the fuck are
you talking about, bro?
You should be
roasting these guys.
[LAUGHS]
Does that C on your Jersey
stand for Chet or Coach?
Stands for fucking captain.
I brought you in.
I gave you a jersey with your
last name, so let's see it.
All right, show me
how to do it, Chet.
I fucking will.
Hey, Shoobs, get the
fuck off the ice.
Galley, quit with
the fancy shit.
Give me the fucking puck.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[INAUDIBLE]
There you go, Nick.
No way.
[INAUDIBLE]
Watch in front of the net, boys!
Pick 'em up.
Good shit, Nick.
Hey, fuck you.
Fuck you going to do, huh?
Kick it out, you bitch.
What the hell, man?
Ow.
Fucking pussy.
Yo, what the fuck, dude?
Justice.
61 white, rough.
Eat a dick, Mark.
That's what friendship's about.
Get the fuck off me, I'm good.
Fucking refs and their
bullshit calls, man.
It's not even fucking
worth playing.
God.
You good?
Johnny, these fucking
water bottles too?
God.
I just, I can't
stand fucking Chet.
Don't worry about it.
You're giving him
exactly what he wants.
You're right.
You're right.
I mean, just try to calm
down for fucking two minutes.
Nope, nope, nope.
[ROCK MUSIC]
Oh, she messaged me.
Look, she actually messaged me.
Oh yeah?
What did she say?
I don't know.
I haven't checked yet.
Let me see.
She said...
"hey."
She said "hey"?
Just "hey"?
Yeah.
Ugh.
You don't want hey.
That's not good.
Well, but what do I say back?
Do I just tell her
how pretty she is?
No.
You don't.
Have not learned anything?
You got to play it cool.
She's playing a mind game.
And when she says hey, you
got to respond back with cool.
Like what?
Just say-- just say "sup."
"Sup?"
Yeah.
Say "sup."
I'm just going to tell
her she's gorgeous.
No, no.
Do not.
Give me that.
Stop.
Give me.
Give me the phone.
I still have one hand.
Give me your phone.
Give me your phone.
Sent.
I did it.
You blew it.
Do you really think I blew it?
Yes.
I think you blew it.
That was your one
shot and you blew it.
Just like that Eminem song.
Just like the Eminem song.
God.
Well wait, how do I fix it?
You've heard the song.
"You only get one shot."
Farts.
Atta way, boys.
Keep it up.
Yo.
Nice play on that goal, dude.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, glad we bounced
back a little bit.
For real, though, I fucking
hate playing these guys.
So are all you guys
from here originally?
Yeah, I mean, most of us grew
up playing here together.
Proton's just a
little bit older,
but we've known him a while.
Yeah.
That's sort of how it was
on my old team back home.
Kind of took it for granted.
Oh, where are you from?
Littleton.
Denver area.
Oh shit.
Denver is tight.
Do you-- wait, do you blaze?
Every day, man.
It's been a struggle finding
some out here, though.
I bet it's like going back
in fucking time for you.
Yeah, definitely takes me
back to my high school days.
It sucks not having a connect.
Well, brother, you got one now.
I'll give you my number when
we're back in the locker room.
Are you serious?
Yeah, dude.
(SINGING) Fan of your life
And I dropped out, burned up
Fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered
the thing that you said
[INAUDIBLE]
Oh my god it's a puck!
Go get the puck!
Get the puck!
(SINGING) I'll be
your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better
when I'm older
I'll be the greatest
fan of your life
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
We got an official game puck.
You did it.
Oh my God.
That was the new guy.
He deflected it.
Do you think he'd want
this, like, as a keepsake?
He might want it,
but I'm thinking
there's two guys that kind
of need it and deserve it,
you know?
I feel like we should hold on
to it for at least for now.
This would look so good on the
mantel above our fireplace.
That's what I'm saying.
Think of all the girls
that'll be coming over.
You mind if I--
Be careful with it.
Oh yeah.
Oh, it's real all right.
100% vulcanized rubber.
It's level.
Oh...
[LAUGHS]
Let me.
Let me.
That is ripe.
Let me.
Come on, come on.
Get in there.
Yeah.
Ribbed for my pleasure.
Hey, numbnuts.
Little help?
Did he see us?
Just be quiet.
Holy fuck.
These two are as fucked
up as a soup sandwich.
Me?
Me?
Guys, this isn't a
fucking Stingray game.
I need the puck back.
It's OK.
We'll find another one.
One more smell.
There you go.
Holy fuck.
These fucking twats.
Here you go.
Fuck.
It's slippery.
It's OK.
We'll get another one.
We'll get another
one for the mantle.
[BUZZING]
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
15 miles, boys.
Nobody's beaten these
dickheads in two seasons.
Four straight losses to them.
Not tonight.
If we play these
last 15 miles hard,
we can fucking beat these guys.
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
Wait, 15 miles?
Dude, it's the same as minutes.
Is it though?
People say it.
I'm just trying to
say that we're close.
Aw.
Now you're trying to
sound like a cool dad.
[LAUGHS]
Fucking guys.
Let's fucking go, boys.
Fucking right, Nick.
Yeah, Nick.
Let's go.
Playing great, goalie.
I get nothing and he gets
all the love that exists?
We love Nick.
I love him as well, but I
thought you guys loved me.
Anyway, let's just fucking
beat these assholes.
If it's for Nick, great.
Hey.
Nick!
Yep.
For Nick.
Let's do it for Nick.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
All right, you pair of butt
plugs, one period to go.
No ties.
Goalie.
Goalie.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
18, white, Dingleberry
with a high stick.
It's Razzleberry, dickhead.
Out of the way, guys.
I'm a doctor.
A doctor?
Dude, you're a fucking dentist.
Yeah, and it looks like
it's a mouth injury.
Let me examine the patient here.
OK.
All right, bud, I'm
sure that hurts.
Why don't you just hold
this on the wound for a bit.
Thanks, man.
Looks like it's a cut on
the lower left canine.
Oh, that's classic.
You carry a pink fucking
fanny pack on you?
Do you see how
efficient this thing is?
You want me to pay five
more dollars for a black one
or something?
Why?
Oh, Christ.
When you're done fumble
fucking with your gloves, like,
he's fine.
It's a long way from the heart.
Let's go.
The mouth is a crucial part
of your body's ecosystem.
All right here, buddy, I'm
going to get you fixed right up.
You got any allergies?
What the fuck?
[ROCK MUSIC]
[LAUGHS]
What the fuck, Kev?
John, boards, boards, boards!
[INAUDIBLE]
Left side, left side.
Down low, down low, down low.
Watch up.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[INAUDIBLE]
That kid shouldn't
be in this league.
Damn it.
That kid's too fucking good.
Holy shit.
Hey, buddy, more
rubber's gone through you
than a fucking Vegas hooker.
I don't recall asking for
the Ennis family backstory.
Fuck.
You guys cool if
I take it again?
Yeah, absolutely.
All right.
I'll win it back to you.
OK.
Here we go.
Don't give me that shit.
Fuck off, Chet.
Fuck.
Fuck you.
[GRUNTS]
[FIGHTING SOUNDS]
Hey, nice hit, man.
I don't mind seeing
Chet get dummied out
here every once in a while.
Yeah, what the fuck is
his problem, anyway?
I don't know, man.
That's just Chet.
Bunch of fucking clusterfucks.
So I guess we're the new
guys out here, right?
Yeah.
That's what I hear.
Well, you make it sound
like we're comparable.
I've been off the ice
for fucking a year.
I don't know about you.
Yeah, I mean, I just
got back from juniors,
so I still got my legs under me.
OK, yeah, that explains it.
Well, yeah, you want to hop in?
No way, man, this
is beer league.
What the fuck?
63 black, 21 white.
Both boneheads with a rough.
Got it.
Bash brothers, right guys?
How's beer league treating you?
Oh, it could be better.
Just try to have fun.
It's a game.
Yeah.
We were so close to
getting that puck too.
Yeah, you went fully horizontal.
It was pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself.
It was insane.
Speed is my number one ability.
I've always said that.
You have always said that.
Thanks for supporting me.
I appreciate you, man.
Yeah, man.
You're really one
of my best friends.
Yeah, man.
You're my best friend too.
Makes me feel good.
Hi Hubee.
Hey Sondy, what's up, man?
I was just saying,
you missed it.
We had an official game
puck in the stands.
Really?
That's awesome.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
Yeah, I could see how you as
a fan would think that's cool.
But as a player, I'm literally
throwing pucks up out
of my ass.
That's not good.
It is good.
So what time are you, me, and
Kevin going to Waffle House?
Oh, well, you know, Fry,
he's going to come with us.
Yeah, I guess we need
somebody to drive.
But what time are we
leaving, like, specifically?
So as soon as the
game is over, we're
getting smothered
and covered, brother.
Diced and chunked, bro.
All right.
All right.
I got to go pee all
this fruit punch out.
OK.
And then I'll be right back.
That sounds good, man.
OK.
Remember, you're my ride.
Wait, what did he say?
I think he said
we'd meet him there.
I don't know.
OK.
That sounds good.
Fucking pussy.
Yeah.
You're real quiet over there.
Excuse me?
You heard what the fuck I said.
Cheap shotting bitch.
[LAUGHS]
Good one.
It was a good one.
Where the fuck
did you even play?
You're terrible.
I played AAA tier one, bud.
[LAUGHS]
Well, you're in C league now,
so just shut the fuck up.
You shut the fuck up.
We're tearing you
apart out here.
Then why are you crying?
You're crying.
I'm heating up.
Come on.
[PLAYER CHATTER]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
No slapshots!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Yeah, buddy!
Oh my God.
[CHEERING]
(SINGING) jersey with no
name but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
[BLOWS AIR HORN]
Yes!
Oh my God.
Let's go, Kevin!
[CHEERING]
Kevin!
Let's go!
Waffle House, Waffle
House, Waffle House, Woo!
[CHEERING]
Mark, time out.
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah.
We got to win this one.
Jesus Christ.
All right.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Time out, white.
And hurry the fuck up.
What the fuck are we doing?
Get it the fuck together.
We're out here letting
fucking Kevin score?
Jesus Christ, boys.
Get a fucking clue.
I mean, great guy, love
having beers with him,
but he's fucking
dog shit at hockey.
Chet, this is
recreational hockey, bud.
They're having fun over there.
Like, just relax.
I don't give a fuck
if they're having fun.
I'm trying to get a W.
The fuck are you doing?
Chet, it's beer league, bud.
Fuck you, bud.
Shewbs, what the fuck
are you looking at?
Go fuck a goat, you pigeon.
You dork.
Are you serious, dude?
It's late enough.
Yeah, man, only nerds call
time out in beer league.
Do you guys not care about this?
You guys better be
fucking shitting me.
Time out in goddamn beer league?
Dude, we got to strategize.
We got to beat these assholes.
Strategize?
You're not Jared Bednar.
It's not the Stanley Cup.
Settle down, wrap
it up, let's go.
I need to go to bed.
I got mouths to feed.
I know you probably never
been with a woman before,
but some of us have.
First off, I have
done sex before.
OK, yeah.
Second off, I can help
your family, actually.
I have 25% off to
my office here.
Come in.
I'll work on those
teeth of yours.
OK, settle down, Hermie.
It's after 12:00.
I got to get home,
feed the kids, beat it.
I want to go home.
This crazy guy is
fucking right, man.
Let's fucking go.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm Kevin.
Shut the fuck up, Kevin.
Over.
Done.
Get out.
Alright, fuck that guy.
You are the reason that
we're still here, Kevin.
We have time to win.
Let's fucking do it, man.
Let's win, I guess.
Are you sure?
How long are time
outs in this league?
Dude, too fucking long.
Well you don't sound
very confident in that.
Pick 'em up, pick 'em up.
Good job, man.
We'll get point, point.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[PLAYER CHATTER]
Walking right down the middle.
What are we doing?
Left, left, left.
Clear it, clear it.
Down low, down low.
I got him.
Got it.
Come on, Nick.
Oh no, don't.
Oh Kevin, that's a shitty plan.
Let's get out, boys.
Stop letting him skate around.
Across.
Come on, boys.
Let's get to OT.
There we go, Nick.
Keep it going, boys.
Keep the pressure up.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck, still
loose. still loose.
Go to the net.
Up, up, up, up.
Come on boys, get it out.
Get it out.
Get that going.
Clear it.
I am wide open.
Someone look.
Look.
Look up.
Fuck off me.
Put some pressure on.
Woo.
10 seconds, boys, 10 seconds.
Come on, guys.
Nice one, Nick.
Keep it out.
Cover it.
Under it.
Lay on it.
[BUZZING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Ha, I think she
wants to meet up.
I told you this would work.
She wants to meet up?
Yes.
With you?
Yes.
Tonight?
Also true.
[LAUGHS]
You know what that means?
She is DTP.
I don't know what that means.
Down to plow.
Like sex?
Yeah.
Like sex.
You know, making love.
I mean, I know what it is.
It just scares me a lot.
It's OK to be scared, buddy.
But you have to do it.
But no, I don't.
I just wanted to go dancing or
something and get to know her.
She asked you to go dancing?
I'm going to ask
her to go dancing.
She's going to know that
that is code for sex.
Be careful what you say.
Dancing means sex now?
Dancing means sex now.
I have been out of
the game a long time.
Yeah.
I'm going to invite
her to dance.
If she wants to eff, she
can find somebody else.
Way to go, Captain Duck.
Top notch time out.
I'm so tired.
Why the hell did I tie it up?
Stupid.
I mean, K-dawg, you can
leave whenever you want.
It's OK, for real.
It's cool with me.
Later, Kev.
See you.
Guys, guys, winning
is so much fun.
I'm joking.
I mean, he is the
funny guy on the team.
[LAUGHTER]
Not cool, man.
So do you guys do overtime
or straight to shootout?
We go straight to shootout.
And since Sondy's
team went 40 rounds,
we're only doing three now.
So.
Yes, Kevin?
Please let me shoot.
No.
No.
No way, dude.
No.
Absolutely not.
I've had the hot stick
all freaking night.
No.
No.
It's not even your stick.
Yeah.
I'll take that back.
And I'm going to be actually
going first in the shootout.
Huge branding
opportunity for JCD.
You guys get it.
I can match this slick
Casey kid's moves.
Then we're going to
have Noel go second.
I mean, he's been
fantastic tonight.
And then-- and then guys,
what do you think about Riley
taking the third one?
Yeah, I'm OK with that.
Well, wait, are you sure?
Yeah, I like that.
You've been great tonight.
Kev, what's your problem?
My problem is, like, y'all pick
him over me in the shootout
and, like, I've been
here for, like--
I'm putting my skate
down for the last time.
It's either me or him.
Riley.
Cool, Riley, welcome.
Yeah.
I mean, he paid in full.
You still owe $171.
[COUGHS]
What?
You paid $29?
Yeah.
How?
Why?
Well.
What the fuck, Kevin.
I don't even want to hear
what your excuse is, Kevin.
I was going to tell you
guys about it later.
No, I don't want to hear it.
My parents are going
through a divorce, guys.
You're a grown man.
Yeah, but it still hurts.
Erin, you're going
to have to keep track
of the score and everything.
I need a break.
OK.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Don't worry, boys.
That wasn't too bad, eh boys?
Let's get one and tie it up.
Come on, Johnny.
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
Damn, that's a good fit.
Shit, all the kids are coming
to JCD when they see this.
Oh my God, I did the spin move.
Here it comes, the
big TikTok moment.
Well, fuck, man.
Did not go as planned.
Holy shit, John.
Hit it with your
purse next time.
Hockey is not your thing, dude.
Whatever, man, I
nailed the spin move.
My dangles would have
been way more tight.
Shut the hell up, Kevin.
Oh man, it's Gallagher.
He's got pretty solid flow.
He's no Casey, but.
Why are you so obsessed
with everybody's hair?
It's getting kind
of weird, honestly.
Let's go, Nick.
Yeah!
Woo!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
[BLOWS AIR HORN]
Noel, you're up.
It's time.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Let's go, Noel.
You got it.
I chose you for a reason, Noel.
You got this.
You got this, Noely.
He can't even stop a beach ball.
Right, guys?
Let's go, let's go.
Go home.
[CHEERING]
Nice.
All right, cutie.
You're not that cute.
You might be cute,
but Kevin's never
going to Wild Wings with you.
That's right.
He likes us.
[CHEERING]
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
No.
No, no, no.
It's not working.
It's OK.
We'll get another one.
What did I tell you idiots
about that fucking air horn?
It's not even working.
It's flat.
I'll come up there and
show you fucking flat.
Put it away.
I'm sick of talking
to you two idiots.
No.
Stop threatening to
flatten my friend.
That's every week you do that.
Quit it.
Buddy, I'll flatten
the both of youse.
Cut the shit.
You could be our Vince
if you wanted to.
He couldn't be our Vince.
Johnny Drama.
These fucking nerds.
I can't fucking do this anymore.
Fucking losers.
Waffle House meeting later
if you want to check it out.
You could be there.
If Riley scores, we
beat the Young Genos.
Let's go, Riley.
Fucking bury it, baby.
Let's go.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Fuck this shit, dude.
Roley, Roley, Roley.
Oh shit.
The Blazers must be calling.
[BUZZING]
Let's go.
Yeah, boys.
Oh yeah, beer's on us.
Good game, boys.
Right, boys.
Great game.
Good game, Casey.
Good game, guys.
Good game.
Almost got it, man.
You almost had us.
Good game, boys.
Come on to my office.
Send your parents the bill.
Nice fucking slappy.
Thanks, Kevin.
That was awesome.
I've been thinking about it.
There can be two funny
guys on the team.
Appreciate that.
Yeah, man.
I think you got something
on your sweater.
Do I really?
Boop.
Dude, that's my fucking joke.
Well, I'm the funny
guy now too, right?
Get off the fucking ice.
Let's go.
Screw.
Night's over.
Bye.
He stole my joke.
It's OK.
Let's get waffles.
[CHEERING]
Fuck yeah, boys.
Hell yeah.
Let's go.
Fucking right.
Told you, bud.
I told you.
Holy shit, boys.
What a game.
Fuck those dudes, am I right?
Guys, Young Genos.
We beat Young Genos!
Fuck yeah, we did.
Yeah.
Did you see the fucking
look on Chet's face?
Holy shit.
The one where Casey pulled off
a sicker dangle than he ever
could or the one where Riley
put him on his fucking ass?
[LAUGHTER]
Fuck that guy!
I'd do anything to
see Chet cry again.
Well, we play him
again next month.
Bro, come on.
I'm trying to savor
the fucking moment.
[KNOCKING]
Clothes on?
Yeah, you're good.
Good fucking show, boys.
Thanks, Erin.
Wow, you guys reek
more than normal.
Yeah, reeks like victory.
Oh, you left this on the bench.
Oh shit.
Thank you so much.
Do you mind giving one
of these to the guy
on Young Genos that got hurt?
Sure.
Thanks so much.
How are you feeling?
Exhausted.
Short bench sucks, but
you guys pulled it off.
And I think you lucked
out with the new guy.
Oh.
Yeah, we did.
Fuck yeah.
All right.
Good game, boys.
See you at the bar.
Hell yeah.
I'll call you.
Eat shit, Kevin.
Erin's right.
We would have been
screwed without Riley.
Oh, dude, 100%.
Thanks.
I was just trying not
to slow you guys down.
I'm glad we pulled it off.
Slow us down?
Come on, Riley.
Yeah, dude, you crushed it on D.
And dude, you were killer
on those face offs, buddy.
Well, thanks.
I appreciate you guys
letting me sub in.
Nah, dude, that's yours.
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
You earned it.
You realize I'm
the captain, right?
I make final player decisions.
Welcome to the team, bud.
Thanks.
Absolutely.
You paid in full.
Who wants a latte?
Hey.
Riley.
Yeah.
I'll take a cold cruiser.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, Noel.
Thanks, bud.
Beer here.
Dude, I'm good, thanks.
I know, baby.
What?
You're too good to me.
Hey.
I can't get this straw out.
Hey.
There he is.
Ah, man.
So is no one going to
talk about Kevin's goal?
No.
Come on.
Did Kevin even score?
I did.
Dude, that was that heater.
You were working on that.
Told you to get out of the way.
Hey, you know I got
something for our boy.
[CHEERING]
Let's go.
Kevin.
[EXCITED CHEERS]
Thanks, boys.
Love you.
Good to see you, man.
It's been a minute.
How's everything going?
All right?
Oh, I mean it's going good.
You know, family's
really happy to see me,
being back from juniors and all.
It can get pretty crazy
out there, you know.
Yeah, I heard a
few of the stories.
It gets a little wild up there.
Oh boy, these guys
are coming out.
Listen, youngblood,
you take care.
Tell the family I said hello.
We'll be in touch.
Hit me up.
Will do.
I appreciate it.
Love to see you in
the office this week.
Yeah, I'd love to see
you in another rink.
Fucking guy.
Dude, you were insane
out there tonight.
I appreciate it, man.
Thank you.
I really can't believe
we beat you guys.
I'm kind of in
shock myself, man.
Like, the boys in that room,
they treat it like the NHL.
Seriously.
Oh, duty calls.
Got to get this
guy to the office.
Riley, thanks so much
for showing up, dude.
Appreciate it.
Later, man.
John, see you, buddy.
Proton, bye man.
Hey, are you still on
your parents' insurance?
So Case, Young Genos?
You actually like
playing for those guys?
I mean, the boys aren't too
bad, but it's just Chet, man.
Sometimes I just can't
play with that guy.
I hear you.
Well, I think I can
speak for everyone.
We'd love to have
you on our squad.
I know for sure we've got
some room on the blue line.
Can I do that, boys?
I mean.
Bye, guys.
See you.
Bye guys.
I mean, did you pay?
There's nobody at the
front desk tonight, so no.
Sounds like your golden, bud.
Does this mean I don't have
to play defense anymore?
I think so.
Does this mean the Polly's Pies
just became the team to beat?
I think so, dude.
Yeah, absolutely.
Heck yeah.
Good game, boys.
You too, Nick.
See you, Nick.
Supposed to hate you,
but that move was sick.
Appreciate it, goalie.
Thanks, man.
Well hey, what are
you doing Tuesday?
I got nothing going on.
Want to do Tuesday
morning pick up?
Tuesday morning pick up.
Cool, man.
I'll see you there, bud.
I'll see you there, boys.
Have a good night.
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaking of Tuesday mornings,
you want to do some pickup?
I got to knock off
some of this rust.
Yeah, you do.
[LAUGHS]
Dude, who takes a fucking
slapper on a shootout?
Love it.
Dude, I'm glad
you came out, man.
I'll see you.
(SINGING) The things
it seems and more
But that final day will come
It comes to everyone
The accidents of birth can make
it hard to speak one's mind
But I believe there's power here
Just not that I can find
I'm not aimed on dying
Ooh
You're in a dance and you must
Maintain until it's done
Fucking late as fuck, dude.
Jesus Christ.
He's coming.
Oh fuck.
Waffle House time.
Woo, baby.
I guess I'll go to Waffle House.
What are you still
doing here, fuckstick?
I thought I was going to
go home to my boys, but.
Shocker.
They want to go to Waffle House.
And I don't give a shit.
We're done.
Game over.
Goodbye.
Do you want to hang out?
No, I'm good.
Spider.
See you later.
You sure?
Yeah.
You got 10 minutes,
I'm calling the cops.
You're trespassing.
I'll see you.
10 minutes.
Bye.
Love you.
[ROCK MUSIC]
(SINGING) Come tomorrow
we will compromise
I'll push harder and
you'll sleep at night
Buy you dinner, we'll
fall back in love
A good scenario for making up
And you say OK
I mean what's there to lose
Then you said
we'll all die alone
Guess I'll take you home
And then we'll buy
ourselves a big, big house
To live in excess till
we squeeze one out
Raise 'em right way
we'll even quit the booze
Everyone does it,
what's there to lose
And you said ok
I mean what's there to lose
Then you said
we'll all die alone
Guess I'll take you home, girl
Now I'm a loser
I just had it with my dreaming
I'll write home girl
now that I'm on tour
And you'll ask for this to end
In my dreams I'm
much less focused on
What I'm lacking
of and who I'm not
I just wander 'round
I'm standing tall
What a life, what
a life, what a life
What a life to have
no cares at all
(SINGING) It's a tied score
Jersey with no name,
but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
Lose another day
It's a tied score
Hero of the late game
Tied score
Jersey with no name
but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
Lose another day
It's a tied score
Hero of the late game
Tied score
Jersey with no name,
but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
No way.
You sleep here too?
Fucking Shoney's guy.
Hey, how about you drive
me to Waffle House?
No?
All right.
Swamp Rabbits shorthanded
in a situation
where they need three goals in
just under 2 and 1/2 minutes.
Right now trying to
prevent any further damage.
Here's Anderson.
The last of the
goals that he scored
came off of the stick
of the number three.
Somoza trying to turn this
into a shorthanded breakaway.
He comes charging forward.
Great reaching play by
the captain in Cherniwchan
to jump back avoid the backcheck
reach the stick in there
and break up what could have
been a one on one scenario.
Hey bud, what can I get for you?
Did you want something, man?
Cherniwchan feeds
it to the middle,
save made off the
pass to Hrenak.
Backhands it around
over to the near side.
Picked up by Hamonic.
It'll slide forward and get
the clear all the way down,
stopping at his wall, quickly
paddling it ahead to Fortin
again.
1:12 left, 1:43 in the game.
I think they're trying
to burn some time here.
We're kind of in a one--
Hey, I know you.
You played with us a
couple seasons ago.
Roley, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it's Riley.
Riley, dang it, yeah.
Yeah, and you're?
I'm Matt, but everyone
calls me Proton.
Right, sorry.
I should have remembered that.
That's all right.
Dude, how've you been, man?
I haven't seen you at the rink.
Yeah, good.
Work's kept me busy, so
yeah, I haven't really
been able to make
it back out there.
Yeah.
Well, funny timing, what
are you doing tonight?
I just moved into
a new apartment,
so I'm still unpacking.
Dude, I hate moving.
It's the worst.
Yeah, I'm not exactly
looking forward to it.
Yeah.
Well, hey, assuming the
guys didn't scare you off,
um, you want to come
sub for us tonight?
I don't know.
I haven't really played since
the last time you saw me.
I feel like I'd do
more harm than good.
Nah, dude, you were solid.
We'd love to have an
extra guy on the bench.
I've just got a lot to do.
I get it.
It's like a super late game too.
It's like 11:00 PM, I think.
Oh wow.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just really
behind on the move-in.
Dude, I get it.
I get it.
Hey, if you change your mind,
you know where to find us.
And I think I still
have your number.
Let's see.
Yeah.
Riley New Guy.
That's you, right?
Hey.
Here, I'll call you.
[PHONE BUZZING]
Yep, still got it.
Hockey Matt.
I like that.
That's awesome.
Well, I better get going.
All right, man, well,
it's good to see you.
Yeah.
Hey, I mean, those boxes
aren't going anywhere.
I mean, a good sweat could
help you out, you know?
Warren puts it off the pass.
Back to even strength.
Out of the box is Ierullo
This is shoveled forward
looking for him.
He gloves it down
out of the air.
Looks up, looks for help.
Sees backside of changes
coming and unsuspecting
what he's been as he was
stepping over the boards.
Ierullo down the right hand
wing, poked away by Maass.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[PHONE CHIMES]
A bitter rivalry.
Oh, I'll tell you what.
[ROCK MUSIC]
(SINGING) I'm sayin' somethin'
I'd be somebody else
Shouted down dusty halls
I'm saying somethin'
Always heard someone else
Back when life
was lived in color
And my minutes could be counted
I'm saying something else:
I'm using someone now
I think I'm breaking
Maybe breaking out
[BUZZING]
Slightly cracking
Inside there's someone else
Desperately pacing!
I can't do nothing else
Oh isn't it great to
be erasing it all?
Until there's nothing else
I knew it'd be the same when
My voice was wearing out again
I'd wiped out all my gains-
I'm using someone now
I think I'm breaking
Maybe breaking out
Slightly cracking
Inside someone else
[PHONE CHIMES]
Just fucking do it.
It's hockey.
You like hockey.
Just fucking do it.
You got this.
[background] Reflected.
Mirror reflected.
What?
No.
You're not a superhero.
[INAUDIBLE] pretend.
Absorbed your energy.
That's my energy now.
You don't have it.
You're not freaking Dr. Strange.
Not yet.
Not never.
Dr. [INAUDIBLE] is more
like it. [end background]
I just don't understand why
they put these games so goddamn
late.
You know what I don't
fucking understand?
Why the fuck did you pack this
and you didn't roll a fucking
joint?
I was just in a hurry, man.
Dunny had me working late.
You're pissing me off
is what you're doing.
Fucking hurry, my ass.
Just fucking smoke it so we
can go get our asses whooped.
I'm not even in the mood
for Chet shit tonight.
Oh shit.
Who's that?
Wait, was he looking over?
I don't know, dude.
Just chill out.
Who the fuck is that guy?
Casey.
Yo Chet, what's up, man?
What's up, dude?
How are you?
Good, you?
It's been a long time, man.
I'm good, I'm good.
Yeah, no kidding.
Boys are pumped
to have you here.
But uh...just a little late
[BANGING]
Fuck this.
Dude, you made it.
Yeah, I'm here.
Can't find the
right room, though.
Oh, that's awesome.
No, no worries.
We're in this one
right over here.
What's up, you sexy boys?
There he is.
How are you doing?
So good.
Oh hey, I got us a sub tonight.
You guys remember Riley?
Oh yeah.
About a year ago, right?
Yeah, but just for a game.
Yeah.
Yeah, you paid in full.
Man, I tried to contact
you a bunch after,
but I must have
had the wrong info.
Yeah, I can't remember
what happened exactly.
So I'm John, if
you don't remember.
And that's Nick over there,
but let him approach you.
He's got a bit of
a pre-game routine.
Got it.
Yeah.
And this rude ginger
here, that's Kevin.
I'd advise not letting
him approach you at all.
Dude, I'm strawberry blonde.
What's up, bro.
I'm Kevin.
Basically the only
funny guy on the team.
Nice to meet you.
Totally.
Oh John, John, John,
is it cool if I
get your back up stick again?
Dude, this is the
third game in a row.
Get a new stick.
I can just go home.
Yeah, you can.
All right, man.
Yes.
Hey, no slapshots though.
What about my heater?
What heater?
Oh, you'll see.
Game's at 11:00, right?
Yeah, we're not really like
the warming up kind of team.
Guys tend to trickle in,
like, right before puck drop.
How many guys are you expecting?
Counting you?
Seven, maybe eight.
Yikes.
I'll try not to weigh
you guys down too much.
Dude, don't even sweat it, man.
We're just glad you're here.
Maybe eight?
Who's the maybe?
Jason.
[LAUGHS]
Dude.
Dude, Jason's not coming, man.
No chance.
No way, man.
He's right.
It'll be seven plus Nick.
Why so many no shows?
Dude, it's just
the late game, man.
It's like pulling
teeth with these guys.
Oh God, here we go.
John, just do it man,
before, anyone else shows up.
I don't know if you have a
dentist in town yet, but like,
I could totally hook you up.
Oh.
Um, thanks.
Yeah.
I'll let you know.
I've got coupon codes
on there, details
about our super
convenient online portal.
And yeah, I wrote my email
and my celly on the back.
Oh yeah.
chicletsmagnet{jcdentistry.com.
Just don't let him bully you
into a free mouthguard fitting.
Spoiler alert, you still
pay for the mouth guard.
I don't get why
you guys talk shit.
Because you need shit.
Most people charge for
the fitting in addition
to the mouthpiece.
The point is, though, I don't
put pressure on my teammates.
If you want a
mouthpiece, I got a guy.
Just let me know.
Thanks.
I just had my cleaning done,
but I'll try you next time.
Cool, yeah, no pressure at all.
Let me guess, Johnny's
pushing more mouth guards?
Boys, that online
portal, super convenient.
That's my boy.
Yes sir.
What's up, guys?
Hey, this here is Riley.
He's going to be
subbing for us tonight.
Grayson.
What's up, man?
Yo dude.
Tyler.
How's it going?
Were y'all the guys smoking out
that car in the parking lot?
Dude, I fucking called it.
I told you I wasn't
sketching out.
He was dead ass looking at us.
Oh yeah.
You were so fucking sketched
out, are you kidding me?
Here's your jersey, bud.
Oh, shoot, John,
you even washed it.
Yeah, I hope you like apple pie.
So no Jason tonight?
[LAUGHS]
Dude, no.
Called that shit too.
What's up, fellas?
Hey.
What's up, Sondy.
Just laid the wood on
Smokey Seafood 6-2, dude.
Yeah.
So you score any?
How about a hat trick, huh?
Not so bad.
Yeah.
Good job, bud.
Thank you.
Hat trick and a win.
You going to celebrate?
Well, some Shoney's
would hit the spot,
but unfortunately it's too
late and they're closed.
Oh, yeah man, too bad.
Probably going to have to
hold off till Thursday,
'cause they're opening
that new Super Shoney's up
in Spartanburg.
Dude, I have been
dying to try one.
What makes it super?
How about an ice cream station.
Wait, did I say a?
I mean two ice cream stations
and a meat carving station.
Also Edwin McCain is
cutting the ribbon.
Wow.
Need I say more, fellas?
That does sound--
that sounds super.
Super lame.
Yeah.
Man, well, safe travels, dude.
I know it's a long drive.
It is far, but it
will be worth it.
If you say so.
So anything else you need?
Oh yeah, sorry, I noticed
you guys were short.
So maybe I should just
bring my stuff in here?
Oh no.
No, no, no.
I think we're all good, dude.
I just, the guys are on the way.
I mean, it's eight minutes
till ice time, dude.
Maybe I could join the pie boys.
I'll just chill.
We appreciate it, man, but
I just texted the guys.
They're in the lot.
They're coming in right now.
So.
All right, bros,
have a good game.
Bring it in.
Polly Pies on one?
No?
Nothing?
All right.
Hey, remember, you're
my best friends.
I love you guys.
OK.
What the fuck?
Dude sucks.
This fucking guy.
Don't we need the help?
Or does he just suck really bad?
Where to start, man?
He's not, like, bad at hockey.
Dude, he is annoying as fuck.
More annoying than me.
By a little.
And he doesn't fucking
pass, like, ever.
And he talks about Shoney's
all the fucking time.
What is Shoney's?
Oh man, dude.
He would fucking kill
for you to ask him that.
It's basically like a
mediocre buffet place.
It's popular with the
after church crowd.
He's OK with this
being a different food
establishment then?
[LAUGHS]
That's good, man.
Hey, maybe we can use that as
an excuse for the next time.
Not even funny.
So what's with this place?
Are we sponsored or something?
Proton here thought we might
get some free pie out of it.
Dude, it still might work.
Polly just said we got
to win the championship.
I mean, it's so doable.
Definitely possible.
All right, well we could
have bought 50 pies
for the cost of these jerseys.
Yeah, but as everyone
knows, dude, free pie just
tastes better.
Right?
Don't you think jerseys were
just committing a little too
much to this bit?
No, I don't.
Dude, Johnny's
just mad we didn't
let him sponsor the team.
Marketing is tough these days.
If you guys had businesses,
I'd happily support them.
But dude, John Calamino's
Cavity Crunchers?
It's alliteration.
You guys were cool
with Polly's Pies.
Yeah, but we gave you
the shoulder patch.
That's true.
OK.
Really?
Yeah, no one can
fucking read it.
I know that was on purpose.
What?
Dude, come on.
Johnny, why the fuck?
Look at me, John.
Do you think I would do
something like that on purpose?
Seriously though.
Hey man.
I know you're new and all, but
I'm the funny guy on the team.
Huh?
That joke you said in there?
That's something I do.
But dude, don't think
about it too hard.
I've known these
guys for a while.
You'll totally get it.
You dripped some water on
your shirt, by the way.
Boop.
[LAUGHS] Gotcha, man.
See you out there, bud.
Stupid new guy.
You looking forward
to getting on the ice?
No.
Not at all.
Dude, we got to have
a better attitude
in front of the new guy.
We could just
forfeit and go home.
That does sound nice,
but we're already here.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, Noely's here.
What's up, baby?
Thank God.
Hurry up, please.
Hey.
Hey, go warm up.
I'll see you in a second.
All right, playboys, stay
hawrt Oh, what's up, boys?
Good thing I'm still
in my gear, huh?
Because according
to my calculations,
you're down a skater.
So you want me to hop on?
I'm still loose.
Yeah, yeah, no, no.
Noel just showed up.
That's cool.
Noel's cool.
I love Noel.
You love Noel.
We all love Noel and me.
But earlier Kevin
came up to me and he
was like, "oh my
God, Sondy, you're
the best hockey-- you're like
Connor McSondy or whatever,
you know what I mean?
So could you hop on the ice?
Because we need the dub."
And I was like, "I guess
I could do that, you know,
because I'd love to."
Dude, as much as I would
like to not play with Kevin,
it's not my call.
I hear you.
I don't have a
letter on my jersey.
You're going to have
to talk to the captain.
Johnny boy here's
got you covered, OK?
I hear you loud and clear.
Yeah, so talk to John.
John, you got it.
Hattie then some natties.
Hey, maybe.
Stay cold.
All right, will do.
What do you think, captain?
You need three goals
in your corner?
As nice as that sounds,
Sondy, um, jersey,
you'd have to wear
a white jersey
or they'd make us forfeit.
I know what you're saying.
You're saying that I
need a white jersey
because you need me.
So you know what?
I will not fail you.
I'm on my way to
get a white jersey.
I'm going to save the game.
Fuck.
Goddamn bunch of jerks.
Keeping me here till
after friggin' midnight
to play goddamn
beer league hockey.
Ooh, I scored a goal
in front of six guys.
Fucking meat head pigeons.
Fuck you looking at?
Nothing.
Yeah, thought so.
Keep roaming, keep moving.
Dickhead.
Dude, ignore that guy, man.
How are you feeling?
Well, my gear is crusty
as hell and my skates
are dull, but other
than that, not too bad.
Hey, that's not so bad.
You just get a little sweating
in you, that'll crust out.
Right.
I just hope the muscle
memory comes back, you know?
Yeah.
I hear it's like riding a bike.
But I never learned how
to ride a bike either.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh no.
I didn't know you were
scorekeeping tonight.
Yeah, man.
You want some help?
Yes, please.
I messed up.
All right.
Yeah, thanks.
You're welcome.
How have you been?
I'm good.
You know.
Good.
A nice 11:00 PM
beer league game.
Where else would you rather be?
Oh my God, nowhere.
I know.
Yeah.
Who's the new guy?
Oh, this sweetheart right here?
Oh, this is Riley.
Hey Riley.
Oh my God, Young
Genos are tonight.
Did you guys warn him?
No.
I had to get him in
the building first.
OK.
Nice tactic.
Don't worry about it.
All right.
Just please don't let
them run the score up, OK?
I will do my best.
Yeah, OK.
Look at this, huh?
Sweetheart, am I right?
Yeah, chivalry, man.
I know.
Have fun I guess.
We'll try.
[LAUGHS]
So who are we playing tonight?
The Young Genos.
I mean, are they good?
I mean, they're really good.
They're the whole reason
we have a mercy rule now.
They beat this team 24 to 1.
Holy shit.
Beat their dicks in the dirt.
But don't feel too bad.
I mean, it was Sondy's team.
Great pep talk, man.
I'm about to look like
an asshole out here.
Hey man, we all look
like assholes out here.
You'll be fine, man.
Thanks.
Man, spending your money to play
frigging beer league hockey.
Losers.
Guy thinks he's Rod Brind'Amour.
It's terrible.
I hate this fucking job.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I hate these guys and
all, but for once, I'd
love to warm up
as a goddamn team.
Are they always this intense?
Pretty much.
Make sure you keep
your head up out there.
It can get pretty chippy.
Yeah, I know the type.
Holy shit.
That guy's new.
Do you know him?
No, but fuck he looks good.
That hair.
It's really doing
something for me.
[SIGHS]
Where the hell are
the rest of the guys?
Fuck.
But like, why was he even
considered a good coach?
What do you mean why?
Homie took a ragtag
district five team
and made them fucking champs.
Dude, it was pee-wees.
So a gold medal in the
Junior Goodwill Games
ain't fucking shit either?
Come on, Gray.
Why the fuck should he
get credit for that?
He barely spent any
time with his team.
Charlie fucking Conway
coached that team.
You know it.
And pushing those weak ass
fucking Air Bombay loafers,
dude.
Come on.
OK.
One, those Air Bombay
loafers are fucking fire.
Two, you don't
think that he could
have a fucking social life too?
Those kids had to spend all
day with that tutor lady.
Wait a minute, why were
they even in school?
Wasn't it the summer?
Holy fuck, Noel.
Ah, Young Genos tonight.
Good thing we stretched.
[PUCKS CLATTERING]
So how's it going?
Oh, not too bad.
Having fun?
Yes, so far.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, convincing.
Well, I tried.
So where are you from?
Around Denver.
Oh nice.
Yeah.
I came out here just
over a year ago.
Were you skating out there?
Yes.
Yeah, a couple times a week.
Why weren't you skating
as soon as you got here?
Partly work.
Partly personal stuff.
Honestly though, just
finding a whole new team
and meeting new
people, it's just
a little overwhelming for me.
Yeah.
I mean, making friends as
a grown ass adult is weird.
Yes, exactly.
I feel like I don't know how
to act in social situations
anymore.
I don't know.
I just get all up in my
head about it, I guess.
Well, I mean, these
guys are really nice.
Just don't let
Kevin give you shit.
I'll do my best.
Awesome.
Well, that's my expert advice.
[LAUGHS]
All right, but you'll be fine.
Just have fun.
Thank you.
What's up, bud?
Oh God.
I'm definitely down for
some Wild Wings bro.
Buddy, I'm always up the wing.
Just let me know.
We can get some
pictures or something.
Fucking do it.
Watch some football, bud.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
All right, brother.
What?
You're going to love that guy.
Who is that?
Chet Ennis.
Dude is such a chode.
Must be what that C stands for.
[LAUGHS]
You're just jealous
people think I'm cool.
Yeah?
Is that it?
You mean like your two fucking
brunch buddies over there?
We went to brunch one time.
They're not that bad.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah.
Dude, this fucking sucks.
Let's just get this
shit over with, dude.
[GRUNTS]
Dude, I'm practicing
my freaking heater.
Get the fuck out
of the way, K-dog.
Jesus.
Dude, I said no slapshots.
What the fuck?
Don't bully me in
front of the new guy.
[GRUNTS]
Where is it?
Where is it?
If you're looking for the pizza
Lunchables, I forgot them.
I'm not looking for
the pizza Lunchables.
I'm looking for the
air horn that I know
I packed right before we left.
It is safe.
Can we leave it at that, please?
Yep.
That's fine.
Don't pout.
I'm not pouting.
You're pouting.
Fry.
What?
Look at me.
No.
Look at me.
Nope.
Give me those eyes.
Remember why we're here.
For Kevin.
Because?
Because Kevin's the
coolest guy that we've ever
met in our whole
life and we just
want to be best friends
with him forever.
That's right.
And when he realizes that
we're his best friends, what
happens next?
Well, then we go
brunch crazy, brother.
Yes.
I'm talking shrimp.
Yeah.
Grits.
Yeah.
My-mosas.
Yep.
Benedicts.
Uh-huh.
Maybe even those
little crepey things.
Crepes.
They're crepeys.
Crepeys, yeah.
Cheered me up.
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
All right, boys.
Can you stop that, please?
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
Seriously?
It's distracting.
Trying to give a
pre-game speech.
Oh.
Anyway,
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
this is going to be a tough one.
I want your fucking heads in it.
They start fast.
We're going to have
to weather the storm,
and it will be all right.
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
[CHUCKLES]
Dude, you sound like
some weird stepdad.
Thanks, dad.
Cool.
Fuck me, right?
Just fucking trying to plan.
All right.
Riley, Proton, you guys
are on D. Spell you
when I get the chance.
Rest of us up front.
Let's go, boys.
Let's start on time.
Yeah.
Love the enthusiasm.
[FARTS]
Jesus Christ.
We're all waiting for
you at the dot, man.
Let's go.
Warm ups are over?
Yeah.
All right.
Just give me a minute and
I'll be right out there.
OK.
Fuck.
Sup Chet?
Hey man.
See y'all got a
short bench tonight.
Who's the new guy?
Just some guy who hasn't
played in a while.
I'd ask you to take it
easy on us, but you know.
Oh, come on, we won't mercy
you unless you want us to.
We know you old guys need to get
home early and get your sleep.
OK.
Fuck.
And Casey's here?
What, you guys weren't
blowing out people enough?
Saw he came back to
town, had to pick him up
before anyone else could.
Yeah, well that's fucking great.
He wouldn't help out your
old ass team anyways, guy.
Yo, what's up, Casey.
No shit.
What's up, man?
Nothing much.
What are you doing hanging
out with this fucking jabroni?
Yo, so you're on my strong side.
I'm going to win it
right back to you.
If you could flip
it up off the boards
without icing it and keeping
it away from that guy,
it'd be great.
I'll do my best.
All right.
Let's do it, dude.
Fuck.
Out of the way, ya
pair of arseholes.
All right, guys.
Let's get this
stinker over with.
Fucking pecker
heads, we're going
to keep this clean
tonight, all right?
You hear me?
Goalie, goalie.
Nice try, bud.
Get there, Kevin,
get there, Kev.
Casey, Casey.
Get it back.
Oh, he's going wide.
Oh, God damn it.
Somebody cover D. Cover D, guys.
Fuck.
[CHEERING]
All right, that's--
Good start, good start.
Not how we wanted to start,
boys, but we'll get it back.
Don't worry.
Hey babe, you picked
a terrible time
to start playing hockey again.
Dude.
Don't worry about it, man.
These guys only play
here because they're
too stupid for college.
There it is, man.
Come on.
Shake it off.
We got it.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Hey, maybe we shouldn't
make big plans this time.
Fuck.
Hey sports fans, you got a
white jersey I could borrow?
John's saying it's got to match
or they'll have to forfeit.
I'm sorry, what was that, Sondy?
I said, do you have a white
jersey I could borrow?
Oh, I wish.
We'd been asking Kevin for
fan jerseys for forever,
but they don't have any.
Shoot.
All right, well thank you.
Of course.
Oh wait, there's a
lost and found hamper
by the skate rental booth.
You should try there.
You might get lucky.
That's where I
found this jacket.
I forgot about that.
Thank you, brother.
Of course.
All right, pie guys.
Hey, y'all still down to go
to Spartanburg on Thursday?
Oh, heck yeah, we want
to go with you, man.
Because word on the
street is first 100 people
get a $25 gift card and a
signed photo from Edwin McCain.
So.
Do you think he's going to play
that one song, the (SINGING)
and I'll be.
If he doesn't, we
will, all right?
Heck yeah.
I will set the building
on fire if he doesn't.
You got my word.
All right, guys,
have a great game.
Bye, Sondy.
Shit, shit, shit.
Aw, get there, get
there, get there.
Fuck yeah.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I mean, I don't know what
the fuck we do either.
All right, boys.
All right, I know we're
down a couple early here,
but let's pot 'em back.
What the fuck?
It's going to be a long night.
You got this, guys.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Not me.
Not me, please.
Oh Jesus.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
Step up, step up.
Yo, yo, yo.
Boys, play responsible out here.
Let's take this seriously.
Hey man.
You have great teeth.
Thanks.
Here, check out my mouthpiece.
Maybe you need one.
Keep it in your mouth, bud.
Oh, well, all right.
Well, you have a
dentist in town yet?
I think I'm all right, man.
Well, if you don't,
man, 25% off.
I got this super
convenient online portal
you can check out.
Call me anytime, 24/7.
Yeah, I'll make sure I
give you a call, man.
You're the kind
of patient I want.
Great, great moves out
there, and man, that flow.
How do you think that hair
would look on a dentist?
Cover point, cover point.
Kevin, get your guy.
Shit, shit, shit.
Left side, left side.
Get it out, guys.
Left point.
Someone cover back.
Back of the net.
In front of the net.
Left side, left side.
Front.
Watch the front.
Yeah.
Got a floater.
Watch him, watch him.
Apple, what are you doing?
Tie him up.
Nick, Nick, huge save, buddy.
Good one.
Loose, loose, loose.
Help him out.
Shot.
Nicky Noodle with the save!
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Dude, this one time in pee-wees,
I was grounded for some reason.
I don't remember why.
[LAUGHS] Probably
something stupid.
You can ask my dad later.
But he said if I
scored a hat trick,
I would totally be ungrounded.
You know what happened?
I totally went back
to back to back--
natty hattie.
And I was ungrounded
the next day.
Cool.
Sorry, is there a reason
you're telling me this?
I thought it might pump you up.
Give you some motivation.
Kevin, get on the fucking ice.
Come on, let's go.
I'm going, I'm going.
Fucking shit, dude.
You can do it too, man.
Go ask my dad.
Let me guess.
He told you the hat trick story.
Yeah.
Is he for real?
Dude, he thinks so.
See, I don't think
he's scored three goals
in his whole fucking
life, honestly.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Come on, boys.
Tyler, come on.
Walk it out.
Pass it up, pass it up.
Come on, guys.
Don't play fucking
tennis with the puck.
Oh!
Good shit, man Riley, let's go.
[INAUDIBLE]
Get it the fuck out of here.
Clear out the trash, guys.
Somebody ice the fucking puck.
Great shot.
That was dirty, brother.
Nice fucking save, Nick.
Sorry I don't back check, man.
I'm tired.
Fuck.
I hate to leave the new guy
hanging, but I'm exhausted.
I fucking hate
playing these guys.
I'm just so sick of them
throwing the fucking
body around like they're
about to get a call up.
Yeah.
I don't think they understand
the recreational part of this.
No.
And they pull this trash
all game and the refs
wonder why it boils over in
the third every single time.
Every time.
But don't get kicked out.
Two on the bench is bad enough.
I'll try.
Three hat tricks in one night,
you'll be in the papers.
Oh God.
Hey boys.
I found the white jersey.
Probably want me on the
ice immediately, huh?
Hey Sondy, I don't
think you can, man.
The game's already started.
I mean, it's a
sick jersey though.
Thank you.
I stole it out of
some dumb kid's bag.
Are you sure we
can't just ask Erin?
We can.
OK.
Hey Erin.
Hey Erin.
Erin.
Hey, Sondy wants to hop on
for us, but he can't, right?
The game started.
Yeah.
The score sheet's locked in.
I can't add to it
once the game starts.
Are you sure?
I mean I saw somebody
from the Flying Soldiers
did it last game.
Yeah, I know, but
if I do something,
then the other team's
going to just, like,
possibly dispute the outcome
because of an illegal player.
I guess it's just
their policy, Sondy.
You know we'd love
to have you, man.
That really is a
bummer for you, not me.
Because I'm going to go
eat an egg salad sandwich.
But good luck without me.
You'll need it.
I love you guys.
Oh my God.
Close one.
Jesus.
What a mutant.
Jeez.
Another fucking hole?
Mark, Mark, yo Mark, come here.
Oh Jesus, Murphy.
Yeah?
Can we get that fixed?
I don't want to blow out another
fucking knee in this place.
Yeah.
You got a water bottle?
Yeah.
There you go.
Take care of this.
Jesus, the fucking water
ball doesn't even work.
Does anything work around here?
John bought them.
Can you expect anything else?
Would be nice if someone could
cut the fucking ice around here
sometimes.
Jesus Christ.
The fuck you say?
Have you seen this?
It's a fucking joke.
Bud, they pay me to put a
layer down, not redo it.
Don't put the shit on me.
He's got the point.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Guys, get the puck out.
Come on.
I got high.
I got high.
[GRUNTS]
Come on, Noel, you're
better than him.
Come on, Noel, put it by him.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, that's BS.
5 White trip!
Suck my dick from the back.
Fuck you, buddy.
I bet you'd like that.
I fucking would.
Kick his friggin' ass, Noel.
Mark, Mark, can I sub
in the P box for Noel?
Would you piss off?
You know everybody has to
serve their own penalties.
But I'm tired.
Holy-- fuck off you jackwagon.
Can we play fours at least?
Come on.
Fuck you, buddy.
You couldn't pour
water out of a boot
if the directions
were on the heel.
Everybody fucking
hates you, Chet.
You're a loser.
It is what it is.
Look who's losing right now.
Wait till I get out.
Let me see you do something.
What's up, cutie?
I got five white with a trip.
Christ.
Sorry, boys.
It's all good, Noel.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
You doing Bumble?
Yeah.
Any luck?
Yeah, this lady Padgett just
matched me before we got here.
She hasn't said anything
yet, but she is good looking.
Should I tell her that?
What?
No, don't tell her that.
That's gross.
You got to lie.
I don't know if I feel
comfortable doing--
that's just being fake, right?
Yeah, it's being fake.
You just got back
in the dating scene.
I mean, these apps, it's a
complete game changer, man.
I guess you're right.
Do you think I'm
ready for that though?
You don't have to be ready.
You got the expert
sitting right next to you.
Me.
Well, I'm excited to go
to Shoney's next week.
I wish we didn't have
to go with Sondy.
What?
Why?
I think I was pretty clear.
He freaks me out.
I don't want him
in our entourage.
He's trying to
steal you from me.
No one could steal
me from you, OK?
OK.
Come on, boys.
I'm in the clear.
Come on, help him out.
Get it out.
Clear it.
Oh shit.
Let's go, Nick.
Atta boy.
Atta boy.
Get the fuck out.
Cover, cover.
Nice save, nice save.
Right side, right side.
Man up.
Man up.
Get the fuck off me.
You got five seconds.
Yo, Casey!
Casey!
Got Noel coming out.
Yeah, Nick.
Holy fuck that sauce!
Woo!
Let's go, Noel.
Let's go, baby.
Fuck yeah, bud.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Woo.
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah.
Woo.
I think I was pretty clear.
He freaks me out.
Have you seen him?
I don't want him
in our entourage.
Hey, Hubee, what's up?
What is up, Sondy?
How are you?
What's up, Sondy.
We saw you walking
around the boards.
That jersey was too small?
No.
It looked pretty small.
The hell would you know about
anything at all about hockey?
I am a hat trick man.
OK?
That's why I wear
the tight Jersey.
It makes me fast.
Laws of speed.
That is true, Fry.
You don't play hockey.
But--
Like what did happen?
Some red tape bullshit, dude.
They were saying something about
me being an illegal player.
I think they hate the flag.
That's typical, man.
I'm sorry.
I know.
Socialist nonsense.
They could have really
used me today too.
They could have.
We saw you got a hat
trick earlier today.
Hatty daddy over here.
You saw that?
Sure did.
Yeah, we stay on the
website, so we saw it.
So you saw how sweet I am?
Yeah, pretty sweet.
Well, so, what do
you got going on
in the rest of the night, man?
You just getting out of here?
No, I got to run to my car.
I got an egg salad sandwich
in there that I need to eat
or, you know.
That does sound
good, but you know
you're more than welcome to join
us for the rest of the game.
I even think we're going
to Waffle House with Kevin
afterwards.
I know it's no Shoney's, but.
Wait, you want to go
somewhere else with me
that's not here together?
Yeah, of course, man.
That's awesome.
Dude, I got a fruit
punch in my car.
I will be right back.
Hey, fruit punch.
We love fruit punch.
Do you have any more?
I don't have any more.
I'll see you guys there.
All right, Sondy.
You know where to find us, man.
What are you doing?
What?
I invited him to the game.
Why would you invite him?
You said we need more friends.
Me, you, Kevin.
That's all the friends we need.
You're going to have us go to
a second location with Sondy?
That Sondy?
It's the Waffle House.
You love Waffle House.
We're going to end
up in his trunk.
What?
No, we can ride
in the back seat.
I have work tomorrow.
I'll write you a doctor's note.
Would that be legit?
Of course.
Solid period, boys.
All right, guys.
Nick was really bailing
our asses out though.
This should be a
blowout right now.
We got to play smarter.
Thanks, dad.
Riley, I know it
was a rough start.
I really appreciate
you not quitting on us.
Looks like you're
starting to settle in.
It doesn't feel like it.
Nah, dude, fuck that.
It's just a tough time
to get started, bud.
You're fine.
You're good.
Love you, Nick.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Fuck you, buddy.
Get your nuts off my goalie.
What the fuck are
you guys going to do?
Show some freaking class.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Hey Erin, it's pulled up.
Would you mind just plugging
it in and hitting play?
Thank you so much.
Yeah, what is this?
something cool.
Is it?
All right.
I'm going to sell
some mouthpieces.
OK.
[ROCK MUSIC]
(SINGING) Attention, Young
Genos, players, and fans
If you have dental needs then
I'll put you in good hands
You're not in the show,
but your teeth deserve fame
You can get a special discount
if you write down this name
I'm Dr. John Calamino
DDS degree from Reno
And I got a special
discount for the Young Genos
Fitting is free
Mouthpiece will cost
an additional fee
Keep keeping your
grill looking fresh
Get a filling
Don't stress on the bill
'cause the cleaning's on me
It's tooth hurty
Our dentist chairs
are never dirty
So skate on over in a hurry
Get your whites pearly
Uh, we might be
rivals on the ice
But who wouldn't want a
smile that's twice as nice
Located at 230
Ashley Phosphate road
next to Bojangles and
Frankie's Fun Park.
Free fitting subject to
your insurance provider.
Mouthpiece not included.
This song is property
of Chiclets Magnet LLC
and unless on TikTok, any
unofficial use of this song
is strictly prohibited without
express permission of JCD.
Note to self--DM Biz Nasty again
Oh fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck, it's still going.
Erin, turn it off.
I don't know-- I don't know
what you want me to do.
I can't get it to stop.
Move.
Copy league email addresses to
populate newsletter audience.
Refill binder with the
new glossy mailers.
Tattoo ideas.
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
I don't--
Thank you.
I don't know.
[LAUGHS]
Fucking asshole.
What?
I was trying to move.
[LAUGHS]
That was more exhausting
than the game.
What?
Oh my God.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Oh God, I'm so sorry, Nick.
So sorry.
Oh.
Wait, wait, get it out.
Get it out.
Throw it up.
Throw it up!
Watch on top.
Watch on top!
[INAUDIBLE]
Come on, you guys.
Backdoor, backdoor.
Get it out.
[INAUDIBLE]
Come on, Apple.
Come on.
[INAUDIBLE]
Can't get by one on
this guy tonight.
Ridiculous.
So I'm sucking at D now.
Can you switch with
me for this shift?
Yeah, of course.
OK, I'm going to
win it back to you
and go left if you want
to push it off the boards.
Hell yeah, sounds great.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Let's go, boys.
Let's go.
Let's do this.
Uh.
Yeah.
Yes.
Fucking A, boys.
Got one.
Good shift, buddy.
Looking good out there, boys.
Legs are active.
The fuck are you talking about?
We should be blowing
these fuckers out.
It's fucking beer league, Chet.
Relax, bud.
Dude, what the fuck are
you talking about, bro?
You should be
roasting these guys.
[LAUGHS]
Does that C on your Jersey
stand for Chet or Coach?
Stands for fucking captain.
I brought you in.
I gave you a jersey with your
last name, so let's see it.
All right, show me
how to do it, Chet.
I fucking will.
Hey, Shoobs, get the
fuck off the ice.
Galley, quit with
the fancy shit.
Give me the fucking puck.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[INAUDIBLE]
There you go, Nick.
No way.
[INAUDIBLE]
Watch in front of the net, boys!
Pick 'em up.
Good shit, Nick.
Hey, fuck you.
Fuck you going to do, huh?
Kick it out, you bitch.
What the hell, man?
Ow.
Fucking pussy.
Yo, what the fuck, dude?
Justice.
61 white, rough.
Eat a dick, Mark.
That's what friendship's about.
Get the fuck off me, I'm good.
Fucking refs and their
bullshit calls, man.
It's not even fucking
worth playing.
God.
You good?
Johnny, these fucking
water bottles too?
God.
I just, I can't
stand fucking Chet.
Don't worry about it.
You're giving him
exactly what he wants.
You're right.
You're right.
I mean, just try to calm
down for fucking two minutes.
Nope, nope, nope.
[ROCK MUSIC]
Oh, she messaged me.
Look, she actually messaged me.
Oh yeah?
What did she say?
I don't know.
I haven't checked yet.
Let me see.
She said...
"hey."
She said "hey"?
Just "hey"?
Yeah.
Ugh.
You don't want hey.
That's not good.
Well, but what do I say back?
Do I just tell her
how pretty she is?
No.
You don't.
Have not learned anything?
You got to play it cool.
She's playing a mind game.
And when she says hey, you
got to respond back with cool.
Like what?
Just say-- just say "sup."
"Sup?"
Yeah.
Say "sup."
I'm just going to tell
her she's gorgeous.
No, no.
Do not.
Give me that.
Stop.
Give me.
Give me the phone.
I still have one hand.
Give me your phone.
Give me your phone.
Sent.
I did it.
You blew it.
Do you really think I blew it?
Yes.
I think you blew it.
That was your one
shot and you blew it.
Just like that Eminem song.
Just like the Eminem song.
God.
Well wait, how do I fix it?
You've heard the song.
"You only get one shot."
Farts.
Atta way, boys.
Keep it up.
Yo.
Nice play on that goal, dude.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, glad we bounced
back a little bit.
For real, though, I fucking
hate playing these guys.
So are all you guys
from here originally?
Yeah, I mean, most of us grew
up playing here together.
Proton's just a
little bit older,
but we've known him a while.
Yeah.
That's sort of how it was
on my old team back home.
Kind of took it for granted.
Oh, where are you from?
Littleton.
Denver area.
Oh shit.
Denver is tight.
Do you-- wait, do you blaze?
Every day, man.
It's been a struggle finding
some out here, though.
I bet it's like going back
in fucking time for you.
Yeah, definitely takes me
back to my high school days.
It sucks not having a connect.
Well, brother, you got one now.
I'll give you my number when
we're back in the locker room.
Are you serious?
Yeah, dude.
(SINGING) Fan of your life
And I dropped out, burned up
Fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered
the thing that you said
[INAUDIBLE]
Oh my god it's a puck!
Go get the puck!
Get the puck!
(SINGING) I'll be
your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better
when I'm older
I'll be the greatest
fan of your life
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
We got an official game puck.
You did it.
Oh my God.
That was the new guy.
He deflected it.
Do you think he'd want
this, like, as a keepsake?
He might want it,
but I'm thinking
there's two guys that kind
of need it and deserve it,
you know?
I feel like we should hold on
to it for at least for now.
This would look so good on the
mantel above our fireplace.
That's what I'm saying.
Think of all the girls
that'll be coming over.
You mind if I--
Be careful with it.
Oh yeah.
Oh, it's real all right.
100% vulcanized rubber.
It's level.
Oh...
[LAUGHS]
Let me.
Let me.
That is ripe.
Let me.
Come on, come on.
Get in there.
Yeah.
Ribbed for my pleasure.
Hey, numbnuts.
Little help?
Did he see us?
Just be quiet.
Holy fuck.
These two are as fucked
up as a soup sandwich.
Me?
Me?
Guys, this isn't a
fucking Stingray game.
I need the puck back.
It's OK.
We'll find another one.
One more smell.
There you go.
Holy fuck.
These fucking twats.
Here you go.
Fuck.
It's slippery.
It's OK.
We'll get another one.
We'll get another
one for the mantle.
[BUZZING]
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
15 miles, boys.
Nobody's beaten these
dickheads in two seasons.
Four straight losses to them.
Not tonight.
If we play these
last 15 miles hard,
we can fucking beat these guys.
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
Wait, 15 miles?
Dude, it's the same as minutes.
Is it though?
People say it.
I'm just trying to
say that we're close.
Aw.
Now you're trying to
sound like a cool dad.
[LAUGHS]
Fucking guys.
Let's fucking go, boys.
Fucking right, Nick.
Yeah, Nick.
Let's go.
Playing great, goalie.
I get nothing and he gets
all the love that exists?
We love Nick.
I love him as well, but I
thought you guys loved me.
Anyway, let's just fucking
beat these assholes.
If it's for Nick, great.
Hey.
Nick!
Yep.
For Nick.
Let's do it for Nick.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
All right, you pair of butt
plugs, one period to go.
No ties.
Goalie.
Goalie.
[ROCK MUSIC]
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
18, white, Dingleberry
with a high stick.
It's Razzleberry, dickhead.
Out of the way, guys.
I'm a doctor.
A doctor?
Dude, you're a fucking dentist.
Yeah, and it looks like
it's a mouth injury.
Let me examine the patient here.
OK.
All right, bud, I'm
sure that hurts.
Why don't you just hold
this on the wound for a bit.
Thanks, man.
Looks like it's a cut on
the lower left canine.
Oh, that's classic.
You carry a pink fucking
fanny pack on you?
Do you see how
efficient this thing is?
You want me to pay five
more dollars for a black one
or something?
Why?
Oh, Christ.
When you're done fumble
fucking with your gloves, like,
he's fine.
It's a long way from the heart.
Let's go.
The mouth is a crucial part
of your body's ecosystem.
All right here, buddy, I'm
going to get you fixed right up.
You got any allergies?
What the fuck?
[ROCK MUSIC]
[LAUGHS]
What the fuck, Kev?
John, boards, boards, boards!
[INAUDIBLE]
Left side, left side.
Down low, down low, down low.
Watch up.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[INAUDIBLE]
That kid shouldn't
be in this league.
Damn it.
That kid's too fucking good.
Holy shit.
Hey, buddy, more
rubber's gone through you
than a fucking Vegas hooker.
I don't recall asking for
the Ennis family backstory.
Fuck.
You guys cool if
I take it again?
Yeah, absolutely.
All right.
I'll win it back to you.
OK.
Here we go.
Don't give me that shit.
Fuck off, Chet.
Fuck.
Fuck you.
[GRUNTS]
[FIGHTING SOUNDS]
Hey, nice hit, man.
I don't mind seeing
Chet get dummied out
here every once in a while.
Yeah, what the fuck is
his problem, anyway?
I don't know, man.
That's just Chet.
Bunch of fucking clusterfucks.
So I guess we're the new
guys out here, right?
Yeah.
That's what I hear.
Well, you make it sound
like we're comparable.
I've been off the ice
for fucking a year.
I don't know about you.
Yeah, I mean, I just
got back from juniors,
so I still got my legs under me.
OK, yeah, that explains it.
Well, yeah, you want to hop in?
No way, man, this
is beer league.
What the fuck?
63 black, 21 white.
Both boneheads with a rough.
Got it.
Bash brothers, right guys?
How's beer league treating you?
Oh, it could be better.
Just try to have fun.
It's a game.
Yeah.
We were so close to
getting that puck too.
Yeah, you went fully horizontal.
It was pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself.
It was insane.
Speed is my number one ability.
I've always said that.
You have always said that.
Thanks for supporting me.
I appreciate you, man.
Yeah, man.
You're really one
of my best friends.
Yeah, man.
You're my best friend too.
Makes me feel good.
Hi Hubee.
Hey Sondy, what's up, man?
I was just saying,
you missed it.
We had an official game
puck in the stands.
Really?
That's awesome.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
Yeah, I could see how you as
a fan would think that's cool.
But as a player, I'm literally
throwing pucks up out
of my ass.
That's not good.
It is good.
So what time are you, me, and
Kevin going to Waffle House?
Oh, well, you know, Fry,
he's going to come with us.
Yeah, I guess we need
somebody to drive.
But what time are we
leaving, like, specifically?
So as soon as the
game is over, we're
getting smothered
and covered, brother.
Diced and chunked, bro.
All right.
All right.
I got to go pee all
this fruit punch out.
OK.
And then I'll be right back.
That sounds good, man.
OK.
Remember, you're my ride.
Wait, what did he say?
I think he said
we'd meet him there.
I don't know.
OK.
That sounds good.
Fucking pussy.
Yeah.
You're real quiet over there.
Excuse me?
You heard what the fuck I said.
Cheap shotting bitch.
[LAUGHS]
Good one.
It was a good one.
Where the fuck
did you even play?
You're terrible.
I played AAA tier one, bud.
[LAUGHS]
Well, you're in C league now,
so just shut the fuck up.
You shut the fuck up.
We're tearing you
apart out here.
Then why are you crying?
You're crying.
I'm heating up.
Come on.
[PLAYER CHATTER]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
No slapshots!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Yeah, buddy!
Oh my God.
[CHEERING]
(SINGING) jersey with no
name but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
[BLOWS AIR HORN]
Yes!
Oh my God.
Let's go, Kevin!
[CHEERING]
Kevin!
Let's go!
Waffle House, Waffle
House, Waffle House, Woo!
[CHEERING]
Mark, time out.
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah.
We got to win this one.
Jesus Christ.
All right.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Time out, white.
And hurry the fuck up.
What the fuck are we doing?
Get it the fuck together.
We're out here letting
fucking Kevin score?
Jesus Christ, boys.
Get a fucking clue.
I mean, great guy, love
having beers with him,
but he's fucking
dog shit at hockey.
Chet, this is
recreational hockey, bud.
They're having fun over there.
Like, just relax.
I don't give a fuck
if they're having fun.
I'm trying to get a W.
The fuck are you doing?
Chet, it's beer league, bud.
Fuck you, bud.
Shewbs, what the fuck
are you looking at?
Go fuck a goat, you pigeon.
You dork.
Are you serious, dude?
It's late enough.
Yeah, man, only nerds call
time out in beer league.
Do you guys not care about this?
You guys better be
fucking shitting me.
Time out in goddamn beer league?
Dude, we got to strategize.
We got to beat these assholes.
Strategize?
You're not Jared Bednar.
It's not the Stanley Cup.
Settle down, wrap
it up, let's go.
I need to go to bed.
I got mouths to feed.
I know you probably never
been with a woman before,
but some of us have.
First off, I have
done sex before.
OK, yeah.
Second off, I can help
your family, actually.
I have 25% off to
my office here.
Come in.
I'll work on those
teeth of yours.
OK, settle down, Hermie.
It's after 12:00.
I got to get home,
feed the kids, beat it.
I want to go home.
This crazy guy is
fucking right, man.
Let's fucking go.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm Kevin.
Shut the fuck up, Kevin.
Over.
Done.
Get out.
Alright, fuck that guy.
You are the reason that
we're still here, Kevin.
We have time to win.
Let's fucking do it, man.
Let's win, I guess.
Are you sure?
How long are time
outs in this league?
Dude, too fucking long.
Well you don't sound
very confident in that.
Pick 'em up, pick 'em up.
Good job, man.
We'll get point, point.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[PLAYER CHATTER]
Walking right down the middle.
What are we doing?
Left, left, left.
Clear it, clear it.
Down low, down low.
I got him.
Got it.
Come on, Nick.
Oh no, don't.
Oh Kevin, that's a shitty plan.
Let's get out, boys.
Stop letting him skate around.
Across.
Come on, boys.
Let's get to OT.
There we go, Nick.
Keep it going, boys.
Keep the pressure up.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck, still
loose. still loose.
Go to the net.
Up, up, up, up.
Come on boys, get it out.
Get it out.
Get that going.
Clear it.
I am wide open.
Someone look.
Look.
Look up.
Fuck off me.
Put some pressure on.
Woo.
10 seconds, boys, 10 seconds.
Come on, guys.
Nice one, Nick.
Keep it out.
Cover it.
Under it.
Lay on it.
[BUZZING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Ha, I think she
wants to meet up.
I told you this would work.
She wants to meet up?
Yes.
With you?
Yes.
Tonight?
Also true.
[LAUGHS]
You know what that means?
She is DTP.
I don't know what that means.
Down to plow.
Like sex?
Yeah.
Like sex.
You know, making love.
I mean, I know what it is.
It just scares me a lot.
It's OK to be scared, buddy.
But you have to do it.
But no, I don't.
I just wanted to go dancing or
something and get to know her.
She asked you to go dancing?
I'm going to ask
her to go dancing.
She's going to know that
that is code for sex.
Be careful what you say.
Dancing means sex now?
Dancing means sex now.
I have been out of
the game a long time.
Yeah.
I'm going to invite
her to dance.
If she wants to eff, she
can find somebody else.
Way to go, Captain Duck.
Top notch time out.
I'm so tired.
Why the hell did I tie it up?
Stupid.
I mean, K-dawg, you can
leave whenever you want.
It's OK, for real.
It's cool with me.
Later, Kev.
See you.
Guys, guys, winning
is so much fun.
I'm joking.
I mean, he is the
funny guy on the team.
[LAUGHTER]
Not cool, man.
So do you guys do overtime
or straight to shootout?
We go straight to shootout.
And since Sondy's
team went 40 rounds,
we're only doing three now.
So.
Yes, Kevin?
Please let me shoot.
No.
No.
No way, dude.
No.
Absolutely not.
I've had the hot stick
all freaking night.
No.
No.
It's not even your stick.
Yeah.
I'll take that back.
And I'm going to be actually
going first in the shootout.
Huge branding
opportunity for JCD.
You guys get it.
I can match this slick
Casey kid's moves.
Then we're going to
have Noel go second.
I mean, he's been
fantastic tonight.
And then-- and then guys,
what do you think about Riley
taking the third one?
Yeah, I'm OK with that.
Well, wait, are you sure?
Yeah, I like that.
You've been great tonight.
Kev, what's your problem?
My problem is, like, y'all pick
him over me in the shootout
and, like, I've been
here for, like--
I'm putting my skate
down for the last time.
It's either me or him.
Riley.
Cool, Riley, welcome.
Yeah.
I mean, he paid in full.
You still owe $171.
[COUGHS]
What?
You paid $29?
Yeah.
How?
Why?
Well.
What the fuck, Kevin.
I don't even want to hear
what your excuse is, Kevin.
I was going to tell you
guys about it later.
No, I don't want to hear it.
My parents are going
through a divorce, guys.
You're a grown man.
Yeah, but it still hurts.
Erin, you're going
to have to keep track
of the score and everything.
I need a break.
OK.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Don't worry, boys.
That wasn't too bad, eh boys?
Let's get one and tie it up.
Come on, Johnny.
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
Damn, that's a good fit.
Shit, all the kids are coming
to JCD when they see this.
Oh my God, I did the spin move.
Here it comes, the
big TikTok moment.
Well, fuck, man.
Did not go as planned.
Holy shit, John.
Hit it with your
purse next time.
Hockey is not your thing, dude.
Whatever, man, I
nailed the spin move.
My dangles would have
been way more tight.
Shut the hell up, Kevin.
Oh man, it's Gallagher.
He's got pretty solid flow.
He's no Casey, but.
Why are you so obsessed
with everybody's hair?
It's getting kind
of weird, honestly.
Let's go, Nick.
Yeah!
Woo!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
[BLOWS AIR HORN]
Noel, you're up.
It's time.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Let's go, Noel.
You got it.
I chose you for a reason, Noel.
You got this.
You got this, Noely.
He can't even stop a beach ball.
Right, guys?
Let's go, let's go.
Go home.
[CHEERING]
Nice.
All right, cutie.
You're not that cute.
You might be cute,
but Kevin's never
going to Wild Wings with you.
That's right.
He likes us.
[CHEERING]
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
Big dick Nick!
No.
No, no, no.
It's not working.
It's OK.
We'll get another one.
What did I tell you idiots
about that fucking air horn?
It's not even working.
It's flat.
I'll come up there and
show you fucking flat.
Put it away.
I'm sick of talking
to you two idiots.
No.
Stop threatening to
flatten my friend.
That's every week you do that.
Quit it.
Buddy, I'll flatten
the both of youse.
Cut the shit.
You could be our Vince
if you wanted to.
He couldn't be our Vince.
Johnny Drama.
These fucking nerds.
I can't fucking do this anymore.
Fucking losers.
Waffle House meeting later
if you want to check it out.
You could be there.
If Riley scores, we
beat the Young Genos.
Let's go, Riley.
Fucking bury it, baby.
Let's go.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
Fuck this shit, dude.
Roley, Roley, Roley.
Oh shit.
The Blazers must be calling.
[BUZZING]
Let's go.
Yeah, boys.
Oh yeah, beer's on us.
Good game, boys.
Right, boys.
Great game.
Good game, Casey.
Good game, guys.
Good game.
Almost got it, man.
You almost had us.
Good game, boys.
Come on to my office.
Send your parents the bill.
Nice fucking slappy.
Thanks, Kevin.
That was awesome.
I've been thinking about it.
There can be two funny
guys on the team.
Appreciate that.
Yeah, man.
I think you got something
on your sweater.
Do I really?
Boop.
Dude, that's my fucking joke.
Well, I'm the funny
guy now too, right?
Get off the fucking ice.
Let's go.
Screw.
Night's over.
Bye.
He stole my joke.
It's OK.
Let's get waffles.
[CHEERING]
Fuck yeah, boys.
Hell yeah.
Let's go.
Fucking right.
Told you, bud.
I told you.
Holy shit, boys.
What a game.
Fuck those dudes, am I right?
Guys, Young Genos.
We beat Young Genos!
Fuck yeah, we did.
Yeah.
Did you see the fucking
look on Chet's face?
Holy shit.
The one where Casey pulled off
a sicker dangle than he ever
could or the one where Riley
put him on his fucking ass?
[LAUGHTER]
Fuck that guy!
I'd do anything to
see Chet cry again.
Well, we play him
again next month.
Bro, come on.
I'm trying to savor
the fucking moment.
[KNOCKING]
Clothes on?
Yeah, you're good.
Good fucking show, boys.
Thanks, Erin.
Wow, you guys reek
more than normal.
Yeah, reeks like victory.
Oh, you left this on the bench.
Oh shit.
Thank you so much.
Do you mind giving one
of these to the guy
on Young Genos that got hurt?
Sure.
Thanks so much.
How are you feeling?
Exhausted.
Short bench sucks, but
you guys pulled it off.
And I think you lucked
out with the new guy.
Oh.
Yeah, we did.
Fuck yeah.
All right.
Good game, boys.
See you at the bar.
Hell yeah.
I'll call you.
Eat shit, Kevin.
Erin's right.
We would have been
screwed without Riley.
Oh, dude, 100%.
Thanks.
I was just trying not
to slow you guys down.
I'm glad we pulled it off.
Slow us down?
Come on, Riley.
Yeah, dude, you crushed it on D.
And dude, you were killer
on those face offs, buddy.
Well, thanks.
I appreciate you guys
letting me sub in.
Nah, dude, that's yours.
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
You earned it.
You realize I'm
the captain, right?
I make final player decisions.
Welcome to the team, bud.
Thanks.
Absolutely.
You paid in full.
Who wants a latte?
Hey.
Riley.
Yeah.
I'll take a cold cruiser.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, Noel.
Thanks, bud.
Beer here.
Dude, I'm good, thanks.
I know, baby.
What?
You're too good to me.
Hey.
I can't get this straw out.
Hey.
There he is.
Ah, man.
So is no one going to
talk about Kevin's goal?
No.
Come on.
Did Kevin even score?
I did.
Dude, that was that heater.
You were working on that.
Told you to get out of the way.
Hey, you know I got
something for our boy.
[CHEERING]
Let's go.
Kevin.
[EXCITED CHEERS]
Thanks, boys.
Love you.
Good to see you, man.
It's been a minute.
How's everything going?
All right?
Oh, I mean it's going good.
You know, family's
really happy to see me,
being back from juniors and all.
It can get pretty crazy
out there, you know.
Yeah, I heard a
few of the stories.
It gets a little wild up there.
Oh boy, these guys
are coming out.
Listen, youngblood,
you take care.
Tell the family I said hello.
We'll be in touch.
Hit me up.
Will do.
I appreciate it.
Love to see you in
the office this week.
Yeah, I'd love to see
you in another rink.
Fucking guy.
Dude, you were insane
out there tonight.
I appreciate it, man.
Thank you.
I really can't believe
we beat you guys.
I'm kind of in
shock myself, man.
Like, the boys in that room,
they treat it like the NHL.
Seriously.
Oh, duty calls.
Got to get this
guy to the office.
Riley, thanks so much
for showing up, dude.
Appreciate it.
Later, man.
John, see you, buddy.
Proton, bye man.
Hey, are you still on
your parents' insurance?
So Case, Young Genos?
You actually like
playing for those guys?
I mean, the boys aren't too
bad, but it's just Chet, man.
Sometimes I just can't
play with that guy.
I hear you.
Well, I think I can
speak for everyone.
We'd love to have
you on our squad.
I know for sure we've got
some room on the blue line.
Can I do that, boys?
I mean.
Bye, guys.
See you.
Bye guys.
I mean, did you pay?
There's nobody at the
front desk tonight, so no.
Sounds like your golden, bud.
Does this mean I don't have
to play defense anymore?
I think so.
Does this mean the Polly's Pies
just became the team to beat?
I think so, dude.
Yeah, absolutely.
Heck yeah.
Good game, boys.
You too, Nick.
See you, Nick.
Supposed to hate you,
but that move was sick.
Appreciate it, goalie.
Thanks, man.
Well hey, what are
you doing Tuesday?
I got nothing going on.
Want to do Tuesday
morning pick up?
Tuesday morning pick up.
Cool, man.
I'll see you there, bud.
I'll see you there, boys.
Have a good night.
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaking of Tuesday mornings,
you want to do some pickup?
I got to knock off
some of this rust.
Yeah, you do.
[LAUGHS]
Dude, who takes a fucking
slapper on a shootout?
Love it.
Dude, I'm glad
you came out, man.
I'll see you.
(SINGING) The things
it seems and more
But that final day will come
It comes to everyone
The accidents of birth can make
it hard to speak one's mind
But I believe there's power here
Just not that I can find
I'm not aimed on dying
Ooh
You're in a dance and you must
Maintain until it's done
Fucking late as fuck, dude.
Jesus Christ.
He's coming.
Oh fuck.
Waffle House time.
Woo, baby.
I guess I'll go to Waffle House.
What are you still
doing here, fuckstick?
I thought I was going to
go home to my boys, but.
Shocker.
They want to go to Waffle House.
And I don't give a shit.
We're done.
Game over.
Goodbye.
Do you want to hang out?
No, I'm good.
Spider.
See you later.
You sure?
Yeah.
You got 10 minutes,
I'm calling the cops.
You're trespassing.
I'll see you.
10 minutes.
Bye.
Love you.
[ROCK MUSIC]
(SINGING) Come tomorrow
we will compromise
I'll push harder and
you'll sleep at night
Buy you dinner, we'll
fall back in love
A good scenario for making up
And you say OK
I mean what's there to lose
Then you said
we'll all die alone
Guess I'll take you home
And then we'll buy
ourselves a big, big house
To live in excess till
we squeeze one out
Raise 'em right way
we'll even quit the booze
Everyone does it,
what's there to lose
And you said ok
I mean what's there to lose
Then you said
we'll all die alone
Guess I'll take you home, girl
Now I'm a loser
I just had it with my dreaming
I'll write home girl
now that I'm on tour
And you'll ask for this to end
In my dreams I'm
much less focused on
What I'm lacking
of and who I'm not
I just wander 'round
I'm standing tall
What a life, what
a life, what a life
What a life to have
no cares at all
(SINGING) It's a tied score
Jersey with no name,
but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
Lose another day
It's a tied score
Hero of the late game
Tied score
Jersey with no name
but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
Lose another day
It's a tied score
Hero of the late game
Tied score
Jersey with no name,
but we're partying now
Meet us at Waffle House
It's a tied score
No way.
You sleep here too?
Fucking Shoney's guy.
Hey, how about you drive
me to Waffle House?
No?
All right.