The Lords of Salem (2012) Movie Script
As I write these very words,
the witch, Margaret Morgan,
gathers with her coven of six
deep within the woods
surrounding our beloved Salem.
The blasphemous music echoes in my mind
driving me to the point of insanity.
I, Jonathan Hawthorne,
swear before the eyes of God
on this day in the year of our Lord 1696,
to destroy all persons which choose
to pledge allegiance to the demon Satan
and his spectral army.
In the name of Satan...
...ruler of the earth...
...the king of the world...
...open wide the gates of hell
and come forth...
...from your blessed abyss.
All hail, Unholy Father,
make your presence known this night.
I swear on this day to be a faithful servant
to the Prince Lucifer.
- Make your presence known this night...
- I swear mind, body and soul
to the designs of his Lord Satan.
We trample on the cross!
We spit upon the book of lies.
- Make your presence known...
- I'm ready. I'm ready.
To abandon this mortal existence
and deny Jesus Christ,
the deceiver of mankind!
Sisters, stand ready to desecrate
these false bodies.
Show yourselves.
All together!
We desecrate the virgin whore!
Blaspheme the holy spirit!
Laugh at his suffering!
She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night...
I Through the night'
Hi, big bubba.
I love you.
Good boy. OK, go on.
Jesus.
Would putting it on the mat kill you?
Hi. Are you the new tenant?
I live here at number two.
All right.
In other news,
state legislators gathered today
to discuss changes
to passage lanes on the Mass Turnpike.
Construction could begin
as early as March 1st
labour unions agree
on the official stan' date.
City officials are in agreement
on the proposed toll hike
from $5. 10 to $7.
The president of the
motor transport association...
Get off the table. No, no, no.
Get down. No, no.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, Lace.
- How are you this morning?
- Moving a little slow.
I see you finally rented
the dreaded number five.
I wish, babe, I wish.
That apartment is a total dog.
No offense, Troy.
No one wants it.
I don't get it. I know the price is right.
But I just saw the tenant like ten minutes
ago standing in the doorway.
I hate to break it to you,
but there is no person in number five.
I definitely saw someone standing there.
I said hi
and they slammed the door in my face.
Huh. Well, that doesn't make any sense.
But I'll check it out
if it makes you feel better.
- Yeah, it would.
- Hello.
You handsome boy.
Did you have a good night's sleep, eh?
Well, I better get this beautiful boy
out for a walk.
I'll see you later.
- Come on, Troy.
- Have a good one.
The Big H Team!
Heidi LaRoc.
Herman Salvador.
Herman Jackson.
And once again voted number one
by the readers of Dig Boston.
The Big H Team!
WIQZ. Salem Rocks.
You know,
I think I'm starting to like it.
My mother lost her virginity
to that song, I believe.
- Don't talk about your mom that way.
- This is your mother!
We are here with Count Gorgann
from the band
Leviathan the Fleeing Serpent.
- Count? Royalty. Royalty in the house.
- Count. He is a count.
Count, how come you look at me
like a beautiful Frulein?
Ja, that is a my schnitzel.
Can you explain the philosophy
behind your music?
Our philosophy is to expose
the lies of the Christian whores
and Jesus the true bringer of death.
We are not the crying sheep of God.
We are the mighty goat.
Why the goat? Why not the pig?
According to Mr Chung's menu,
I was born in the year of the pig.
Ah, good for me.
The goat has free will
and for that reason he will always be
punished by the oppressor God.
Praise Jesus!
God must die. God is the unholy pig.
- We serve the butcher.
- OK.
Hey, girl!
Give it to me, what you say?
So, a Mexican dwarf?
Si Carlo.
I used to know a dwarf named Dero.
I What you say?
Give it to me, what you say?
Give it to me
Give it to me
- OK, are we done yet?
- I know I am.
Good God, let's get the F out of here.
It's Monday, so you know what that means.
Ladies' choice.
In other words...
- Rush.
- Whoo!
Let's have a drink.
All right, pour it on me.
Andale! Andale!
Hey, mama.
- This came for you.
- Oh.
Ah. Very fancy.
Who's that from, pray tell?
I don't know.
Some band called the Lords, I guess.
- Sure as shit.
- What?
It's shit.
OK, Mr Negative, just for that,
I'm gonna take it home
and give it a listen.
- Have a good one!
- Bye, baby.
- Salaam Alaikum.
- Mm-hm. Salaikum salaam.
Mm.
Anyone want a lift?
Uh, my head is spinning from the tequila.
If I get in a car, I think I might puke.
Enjoy the walk.
It's good for the lungs, I hear.
- So I hear.
- Hop up on the handle bars.
- You wish.
- Don't doubt me.
All right, kids,
I gotta get home to the warden
without racking up another DWS,
if you know what I mean.
- You mean DWI.
- No. DWS.
Driving while sexy.
- Ow!
- Driving while stupid.
Bonne chance!
Never fear, maestro's here.
I Shiny, shiny
- I Shiny boots of leather...
- What?
Nothing.
Too obvious?
What the fuck does that mean?
Ha!
We gotta convince Herman
to drop the rug routine.
You think?
Who does he think he's fooling
with that dead possum on his head?
He'd be much better off
rocking the Isaac Hayes.
You gotta tell him. He'll listen to you.
Me? I told him
he'd look cooler without it.
He won't listen to anybody.
Dead air.
Yeah. Dead hair.
Dead air.
Oh.
Well, how about this?
In Ukraine,
music always delivered in wooden box.
Sure, whatever.
Ah, thick vinyl. Strong like bear.
Whoa! Sorry.
I think I owe you a new needle.
- Well...
- Let me try this again.
Damn.
What are you doing?
Oh.
It's really fucked-up sounding.
We should smash or trash this tomorrow.
Hey, you all right? Are you cool?
Breed this new world
with the blessed spawn of your glory.
Your vile taste sickens me.
Remove this hideous creature.
Sisters, we have failed.
Hey. you OK?
Are you cool?
I suddenly got super tired.
Oh, well, yeah, no, I mean, I'll go.
I got a long ride home.
You can crash on the couch if you want.
Really? The couch?
Yeah, really, the couch.
Even though I had a mum
who was a drug addict,
it still felt so really attractive
for some reason,
even after years
of watching her go downhill.
I just knew that somewhere along the line,
I was gonna have to try it for myself
I wasn't the kind of guy who would really
learn from other peoples mistakes.
That was just not the way
I did it, you know.
If I did it, I was gonna do it and I was
gonna learn the lesson the hard way,
which I did, repeatedly.
So here I am, not wanting to learn
from other people's mistakes
and I'm trying to help you guys
learn from my mistakes,
even though I still struggle every day
with everything that I've ever learned
over the last 12 years.
- Thank you. That was great.
- Thank you. Thank you for coming.
I'm off dairy.
Attention all cows on the eastern seaboard.
Herman is off dairy.
Wait a minute. You're off dairy?
And gluten free.
- Do you even know what gluten free is?
- Of course.
I just saw you eat a grilled cheese
five minutes ago.
- I like cheese!
- Sandwiches don't count.
Um, bread and cheese.
Mm-hm.
Anyway, if you're just tuning in,
we've been chatting with Francis Matthais,
author of the book Satan's Last Stand. "
The Truth about the Salem Witch Trials.
You look very handsome
on the back cover here.
Thank you.
Is that why you took the book
into the bathroom, Heidi?
You are such a perv.
That's a very intriguing tattoo.
- Oh, thank you.
- It's really kind of mesmerizing.
Ah.
Whoa, Francis. Restrain.
OMG, stop looking at my titties!
I have a wife. Alice, if you're listening,
please do not change the locks.
It doesn't stop Heidi, don't worry.
All right, so, Francis,
how many people were actually executed
during the Salem witch trials?
Well, approximately 25,
if you include the accused witches
that died in prison.
Come on, 25? Are you serious?
I mean, I have to admit
I'm a bit disappointed with the number.
Were there any quote, unquote,
"real witches" in Salem?
Well, today there's a large
Wiccan population.
They're a positive earth-centered religion.
Yeah, hairy armpits and granola.
I don't dig it.
I shave my armpits.
- That's a pity.
- Hm.
You know, classic witches.
No, there are no classic witches, actually.
Witchcraft is nothing but
a psychotic belief
brought upon
by a delusional state of mind.
Windy, I can't make an exception.
The oven's already off.
Look, I got a couple calzones left.
I can drop 'em off on my way home.
How's that?
Bye-bye.
- Violence on Monday...
- ... appears...
The Truth about the Salem Witch Trials.
So, check it out.
Hey, everybody.
What do you think it's time for?
Smash or Trash.
I believe Heidi is gonna provide us
with our first victim.
That's right.
This one is a little different from most.
I have no info on where this came from.
All I know is the group is called the Lords.
I assume they're from around here,
so we'll just call them the Lords of Salem.
Francis, we'd like to thank you
for coming in.
- You've been a great guest.
- Well, thank you for having me.
Alright, open up the phone lines
and lets hear what everyone has to say.
Phones are now open,
so get ready to smash or trash.
Can you mute that?
It's giving me a headache.
Thanks.
May I ask you,
where did you get that music from?
According to our receptionist,
it just appeared,
with nothing but a note for me.
It specifically came just to you?
Uh, yeah, very specifically.
I didn't think anyone knew my real name.
Fucking internet.
Yeah. Well, I'm just gonna
mosey on home now,
get the critique from the wife, so...
- Have fun.
- Thank you.
Bye-bye.
- I'm home!
- Hola.
I hate this broken door.
So, did you listen? How was it?
Did I listen? Did I listen?
Of course I listened.
- You were fantastic.
- Yeah?
And I recorded you
so you could hear yourself back.
Oh, no, I hate the sound of my voice.
Imagine me.
I have to listen to it every day.
So did you...
Did you record the music that they played?
Oh. Yeah.
You know, I can't believe the noise
that masquerades as music today.
- You know?
- I know.
You know, I'm hungry.
I'm hungry. Are you?
I'm going to reheat
some of the leftover pasta.
I wanna... listen to that music again.
Something about it really upsets me.
Just...
Especially the name, Lords of Salem.
Where have I heard that?
You really think that Francis guy's cute?
Are you serious?
I mean, come on. Francis?
What kind of name is that?
Don't be jelly.
I'll see you kids tomorrow.
And you, you get some sleep, would you?
You look exhausted.
Ah, thanks. You make me feel so pretty.
You know what I mean, string bean.
Good night.
- See you.
- See you later.
Combien est-ce que je vous dais?
Combien est-ce que je vous dais?
Pouvez-vous parler plus lentement?
Pouvez-vous parler plus lentement?
- Heidi.
- Hi.
- Come in. Come and meet my sisters.
- I have to...
OK.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Oh, please come on in
and join the party.
Hey, she broke out the good stuff
for a change.
If you consider Merlot from Australia
the good stuff, mate!
Come on. Come and join us.
OK, but first I gotta go up and feed Troy.
- OK.
- OK.
Oh, awesome! We'll wait.
We'll be waiting.
Troy. Come here, Troy.
I know, buddy, I'm late. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. OK, hold on one second.
Here we go. Come here. That's it.
There you go.
OK, I promise I'll be back quick.
I'm just gonna go have a quick one
with the ladies downstairs. Be back soon.
That should do it.
Another dead soldier.
You served your country well, sir.
- Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear. Cheers.
So what do you gals do?
I'm a self-help guru.
I help people who are lost,
find themselves again.
Ah. I think I could use some of that.
We all could, baby.
- And Megan here...
- I read, darling.
Read? I'm not sure I understand.
Like a proofreader?
Megan is a very good palm reader.
Oh.
See, most readings
are like surface observations,
but Megan sees things really deeply,
into the world beyond.
Really? I've never had my palm read before.
I always thought it was kind of a scam.
No offense.
Oh, well, actually, my dear,
I do take offense, great offense.
Plastic Gypsies with crystal balls
and neon signs
have destroyed the value of my gift.
Give her your hand.
The hand and the brain are one.
One quarter of the motor cortex
in the human brain
is devoted to the hand.
- Did you know that?
- No.
The lines are formed
at a subatomic and cellular level.
These are the lines of your life.
Let me see your right hand.
The right hand is the future.
Ah. Is that the life line?
This is the line of fate.
This is the only line of concern to me.
The length of your life
is inconsequential.
It's what you do with your time
that matters.
Ah. OK, well...
So, tell me, what is my destiny?
It reads your fate, not your destiny.
Is there a difference?
With destiny
you can premeditate the outcome,
but fate, fate leaves you no choice.
It is predetermined
by forces stronger than ourselves.
Oh. I don't like that. I think
I changed my mind. I don't wanna know.
You must make peace
with your subconscious desires.
Really? What desires?
The wicked thoughts
burning inside your head
and exploding
in the juices between your legs.
The darkness within your very soul.
The only reason you exist.
Uh, I think I'll make peace
with those desires later.
I really should be getting upstairs now.
Heidi, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry.
Megan can be a little adamant,
you know, sometimes about these things.
Yeah, and a little wasted.
I'm really embarrassed.
This is not the evening I had planned.
No, it's fine. Have a good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Well, have another drink.
- I think that went rather well.
Why do you have to get so intense
when you do these readings?
It's really annoying.
NO change, eh, Pete? Still jumpy.
That was a sucker move,
burning down your boss.
You had him all wrong.
He never crossed you.
But you're a guy who speaks first
and thinks afterwards.
In your spot,
I'll almost choose the cops,
even if it is a first-degree murder rap.
It's lucky I spotted you.
What is so lucky about being dead?
I'm gonna take care of a guy
just a little too smart. Take off the mask.
Oh, man, what the hell?
Troy. Troy.
Get over here. Get over here.
What are you doing?
You're scratching up the door.
Come on.
You're scratching up the door. Come on.
Come on, Troy. Come on.
Come on, let's go back.
Come on. How'd you get out?
Here we go.
Sister.
Feel the earth.
Taste...
...of the air
Do you hear...
...the sound of the clouds...
...and the scent of the wind...
...all becoming one?
The whores of the deceivers
are gathering round us.
You...
...are the blade
by which will bleed...
...the cunting daughters of Salem.
Dear Heidi.
Bleed us a king.
Bleed us...
...a king.
Bleed us a king.
Bleed us a king.
Bleed us a king!
It's OK.
Hi.
Why are you in here?
I don't know.
I was walking by with my dog
and I thought I would just come in
and sit for a minute.
Is that OK? Are you closed?
No.
We never close.
God is always open and ready to listen.
I just needed to sit and think.
Yes.
It is a nice place to just... come and sit.
Yeah, it's nice.
You're a very sad girl.
Yeah.
I think I should get going.
Ow! What the fuck?
You have to understand
that there is a war waging in heaven.
Michael and his angels fought
against the dragon and his serpents,
but God does not spare angels
when they sin
but sends them to hell.
You are a filthy whore of Satan.
Christ can't save you.
Only I can save you.
You must no longer offer
worship and sacrifice
to the goat idols
to whom you prostitute yourself.
You must understand
what the Lord has done for you
and how he has supreme mercy
on your soul!
Miss?
I believe you fell asleep.
It's very peaceful in here.
We've been waiting for you, Heidi
Be it this day of 27 September,
1696, Margaret Morgan...
No!
...you stand guilty
to the crimes of witchcraft
and accepting the devil.
Morgan!
- Alice!
- Mm?
- Yeah, can you do something for me?
- I'm busy.
Yeah, can you play some music for me?
- I'm in the tub.
- Here, look at this. Look at this.
Look.
- Can this wait like five minutes?
- No, no.
Now, this... this book reprints
the last remaining five pages
of Jonathan Hawthorne's diary.
The witches, he refers to them
as the Lords of Salem.
Now, Heidi says
that the music that she received
came to her directly from the Lords.
That the same?
I think so.
Yeah. Exactly the same.
Isn't that odd?
No, not really.
I mean, you know, someone else
might have the same book
and copied the name and the music,
the melody and, you know...
Nothing out of this world, really.
No big deal.
Play it again.
I walk in
on butt-naked toothless granny
tooting Grandpa's clarinet
like Mrs Benny Goodman.
Sounds like your grandmother
has an appetite for the hot sauce.
She must have been
one spicy tamale.
Are you calling my grammy a whore?
She was a product of the Depression, man.
No New Deal for her.
So, look who's decided
to grace us with her presence.
Did I miss anything?
I guess we can make
our big announcement.
Fanfare, please.
The Lords are coming to Salem
for one night only
and we've got the tickets.
In fact, we've got all the tickets.
The show is free.
This is the Lords of Salem.
Satan.
Spirit of the earth.
Reveal yourselves...
to our master of the Lords.
Open wide the gates of hell
and come forth
from your blessed abyss.
Heidi?
Heidi, I'm here.
If you unlock the door, I can help you.
I was a little confused
about the message you left.
What exactly is it
that you needed from me?
Well, I'm not sure, you know.
I have a few questions
about your book here.
Ah. I thought somebody
besides dear old Mum had a copy.
Let's see.
Is this research for a new book?
Well, maybe, but I'm just trying
to track something right now.
So, what can I do you for?
Well, um, couple of days ago
I was at this radio station,
I was hawking my book,
and I heard this music
by a group called the Lords of Salem.
And I thought that this group and this music
seemed a little odd,
so I did a little research, blah, blah,
and found it in your book.
Let me guess. The diary
of the Reverend Jon Hawthorne, right?
Yeah. I was wondering if by any chance
you have the complete diary or...?
No, no, no, but I did read it in depth.
And do you remember anything of interest?
Well, basically Hawthorne was obsessed
with, in his words, "the master witch"
Margaret Morgan and her coven of six,
whom he dubbed the Lords of Salem.
Why do you think he was obsessed
with this particular coven?
Oh, he thought they were hiding out
in the woods around Salem
making the devil's music
for the purpose of possessing the souls
of the Salem women.
Yeah, well, I gathered that
from the few pages that I read,
that he and his group
eventually killed Morgan and the coven.
- Right.
- That's where the pages end.
So I was wondering if there's
any other light you could shed on this?
Well, yeah, actually, yeah.
Let's not forget
the curse of Margaret Morgan.
- What curse?
- Oh, God.
The curse section. That's the best part.
This is where the diary gets so bizarro.
The final sections of the diary just...
Well, I mean,
it's complete rambling nonsense, right?
- Let's hear it.
- OK.
Well, apparently during the execution,
while the coven and Margaret Morgan
were being roasted alive,
Margaret Morgan put a curse
on the females of Salem.
Something about the forever deaths
of the daughters' daughters
and other crazy stuff like that.
Also she called Hawthorne's bloodline
"the vessel by which the devil's child
would inherit the earth".
Whatever the fuck that meant.
Had to get out of that apartment, man.
One more second in there,
I was really gonna lose it.
Mi casa es su casa.
Watch. It's hot.
I got nothing going today.
Well, Mr Mercy...
What?
What?
You always make that sound
when something's on your mind.
No, I don't.
Come on, man. You know I'm clean
if that's what you're worrying about.
I know.
I mean, but, come on,
your behaviour at the station last night,
just, you know, kind of...
What?
- Freaky?
- Freaky. You don't know the half of it.
I know this sounds stupid,
but I really think that Lords record
is fucking with me.
What do you mean, fucking with you?
Every time I hear it, it's like...
Every...
Oh, man. Let me get...
Just stay calm, all right?
Hello? Yeah, yeah.
I... I need an ambulance.
My friend, she's coughing up blood
and she's got stomach pains.
Yeah, we're on the comer of Hodges,
Hodges and Derby.
Don't worry.
And I have.
Let's be sensible about this.
Who knows?
We might be useful to each other.
Forever more, our eyes will burn
with sights of the lamented
Forever more, our pain will be
as the pain of a woman tied down,
unable to move,
where one fiery worm eats into her vitals.
The woman screams for unconsciousness,
but there is no unconsciousness In hell.
The worm eats and eats
and eats and eats...
Heidi, Heidi.
Heidi
Heidi
Heidi, Heidi.
Heidi
Heidi
Hey.
Thanks, man.
What is your name?
Comment vous appelez-vous?
Comment vous appelez-vous?
Where is the bathroom?
O est la salle de bain?
O est la salle de bain
Where is the train station?
Where is the restaurant?
- O est le restaurant?
- O est...
Where is...
...restaurant?
This completes Lesson One.
Please turn the tape over.
Merci beaucoup.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I might be wrong, but I thought
maybe you could use some company.
I could.
You don't look so good, darling.
- What's that?
- This is lovely calming tea.
But, more importantly,
chocolate-chip scones.
I think they might be slightly overdone.
Keep going, Heidi. Good girl.
There we go.
Heidi LaRoc, let's see who you really are.
Adelheid Elizabeth Hawthorne.
Let's see who you're connected to.
And you are...
Reverend Jonathan Hawthorne.
Fuck me.
Oh, man.
That's right, darling.
You just lay back and rest.
Don't you worry.
We're gonna be right here if you need us.
That's right. Good girl.
Little baby.
There.
Hello?
Yes, I'd like to speak
to Heidi Hawthome, please.
I'm sorry, darling,
you've got a wrong number.
Please do not call back.
It's so frightfully rude of you
to call at this hour.
Who was that?
Lord knows.
Sonny, get the chair.
Oh, Father, you give us the venom.
Fill us with your essence.
Let it burn through our souls
and our minds.
We trample on the cross.
We spit upon the book of lies.
We desecrate the virgin whore.
We blaspheme his holy spirit
and we rejoice in his suffering.
Guide this child
still in the shackles of the oppressor.
Help her break free
from his tyrant ways.
Entice her to take the precious bite
from whence she shall be delivered.
You are the dragon, Lord Satan.
Hey, where are you going?
Lunch is almost ready.
Oh, I'm gonna go down for a second
to the museum.
I gotta check on something
for the new exhibits.
What are they gonna do
when you retire?
Oh, well, probably sell the place
and start a Starbucks.
- I'll be back in an hour.
- OK. Love you.
Love you.
Hello.
Hey, it's me.
Hey
Yeah, I was just calling to say what's up?
And make sure everything's all right.
Oh. OK.
So... is everything all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, um...
Hey, I was thinking, maybe we can
hook up before the show...
...and come by,
get some food or something.
Maybe talk about things.
No, I'm all right.
I'm not feeling very hungry any more.
OK no, no, I understand that.
I could swing by around 10:30.
We can head to the gig together.
No.
I'll get there on my own. Bye.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't... don't... don't hang up.
I know in the past I, I didn't understand
and I'm not saying I understand now,
but I'm here.
Whenever you need me.
I know.
I'll always know.
Bye.
You love him, don't you?
Excuse me.
Does Heidi Hawthorne live here?
Do you perhaps mean
Adelheid Elizabeth Hawthorne?
Yes, as a matter of fact I do, yes.
You look familiar.
Oh, well, I work
at the wax museum part time.
You probably saw me
walking back and forth on my lunch hour.
Oh, yes. The wonderful wax museum.
We have to teach our impressionable
children about Salem's glorious past.
- Yes. Well, I'm Francis Matthais.
- Uh-huh.
Now, are you a friend or foe?
Oh, well, I don't know
if I'm exactly a friend,
but I'm definitely not a foe.
I'm a mild acquaintance.
- And you are?
- Lacy.
I look after Heidi.
Oh, well, could I see her?
I don't see why not.
Why don't you come on in?
Heidi's just stepped out for a moment,
but we can wait in my apartment'.
- She won't be long.
- Oh, well, I can come back later.
NO. NO, no, no.
Come on in. Come and have some tea.
All right.
So...
Are you a married man, Francis?
Yes, as a matter of fact.
26 years in November.
26 happy years?
For the most part, yeah.
Local girl?
No, she's not a Salem lifer like me.
She's a Venezuelan girl, actually.
Any children?
No. We never got around to children.
Well, that's understandable.
Children are a bit of a waste.
Most are a total loss.
So few have anything of substance
to really offer us.
But... on the rare occasion
a special child appears.
Mm.
Well, I never really
thought about it that way.
I just didn't like the idea
of changing diapers.
Is Megan spinning her little philosophies
on the value of breeding again?
Don't mind her.
She lives in her own little bubble.
So, Mr Matthais, what was so important
that you had to rush over here
and see our dear little Heidi?
Well, it wasn't that important.
It was just a record that she played
on her show the other night.
Oh, really? And what record
would that be, Mr Matthais?
Some record by a group called the Lords.
You know, don't take this the wrong way,
but aren't you a little old
to like that shit?
Yeah. I was a guest on the show, actually,
if you can imagine that.
Sonny, darling,
would you mind getting me the sugar?
So, anyway, I just had some information
I thought she might find interesting.
Oh, I'm sure she would.
Mr Matthais, you strike me as a man
who would normally mind his own business.
I do, do I?
Why are you laughing?
I'm not laughing.
Is something suddenly funny?
Uh...
- You know, I think I'll come back...
- You know what I think?
I don't have a clue.
I think you've come here to get inside
my dear little Heidi's head.
Get inside her head and fuck her brain.
Have you come here to stick
your nosy cock inside her head
and fuck her brain, Mr Matthais?
- I think I should go.
- Oh, no!
- Good.
- That felt good.
Well, if it isn't my favourite fairy story.
The End of the American Watch.
I'll bet there are all sorts
of juicy stories of cunty witches
and the heroic deeds
of the fucking mighty Jon Hawthome.
It seems you'd love to tell
our little Heidi
all about these spooky little tales
of judgement day.
Sonny.
No. No!
Sugar
I call my baby my sugar
I never maybe...
What a waste of a good man.
Yes. Such a pity.
And he was never going to be able
to stop anything.
Hey-ho.
Anyone care for a fresh pot of tea?
Lovely, darling.
Hello, Whitey.
Hi.
Going somewhere, are we?
Yeah, I was gonna go up and get Heidi.
You look nervous. Are you nervous?
No. Excuse me.
Why don't you sit here with us?
We need to talk.
No, really, I should get going.
We've got this thing
we're gonna do tonight.
Well, don't let us stand in your way.
Yeah, sure.
Take care of Heidi.
She means the world to us, you know.
What are you doing here?
I told you not to come here.
It's OK, Heidi.
You can tell Whitey to wait outside.
Wait for me outside.
What the fuck is going on here?
Please just wait for me outside. Just go.
Come on, Whitey.
Come on.
Come with me.
Ah, man.
- You look like death.
- Chill, man.
We'll talk about this later, OK?
- Later?
- Yeah, later.
Don't tell me to chill.
I wanna know what the hell's going on.
Just listen.
Let's just get through this tonight.
Tomorrow we can start dealing with this.
Bye.
Lord, hear us.
We are ready to bring
your precious child to this world.
In memory of Satan,
you preach punishment and shame
to those who would
emancipate themselves
and repudiate the slavery of the Church.
Satan, come to us. We are ready.
Satan, come to us. We are ready.
Satan, come to us. We are ready.
Welcome...
...whores of Salem.
I can taste the foul stench
of your ancestors rotting
in the folds of filth between your legs.
The blood of your deaths
shall be the eternity
Of OUR resurrection.
Heidi.
The one.
We've been waiting for you, Heidi.
We've always...
...been waiting.
We honour you through our actions
and our thoughts.
Each day that we live upon this earth,
may we grow stronger in wisdom
and in our love for you.
You are our father, our teacher,
our muse, our lover.
We have taken your mark.
Without exception, death will come
to each and every one of us.
The devils of this earth
will rattle on our very coffins
with cloven hooves.
The body we pamper
will become a city of corruption,
a horror onto this earth.
Our own mothers
could not bear to look upon it.
But if we are saved
our bodies will rise again,
free and glorious when Christ comes.
But if we lose our battle with temptation
and choose to ride upon the goat,
we know what our agony will be.
Forever more we shall be awash
in the burning rivers of the dead.
Forever more the stench of hell
and the rotting flesh of the damned
Will fill our nostrils.
Forever more our ears will resound
with the screams of the tormented.
Forever more.
It was our Lord Satan
that took you to the mill of the grave
so that you should thus become
the bread and the blood
of revelation and revulsion.
And what costume
shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties?
hand-me-down dress
from who knows where
To all tomorrow's parties
And where will she go
and what shall she do
When midnight comes around?
She'll turn once more
to Sunday's crown
And cry behind the door
8:45 and this is the WIQZ news break.
The dead bodies
of 32 female members
of the Salem Historical Lifers Society
were discovered this morning in what
appears to be an apparent mass suicide.
The gruesome scene was discovered
in the early morning hours
by Donald Felix,
a janitor at the Salem Palladium.
At first I thought they were
mannequins left on the stage, you know.
But as I go closer,
I could see they were real.
It was a gruesome display, man.
... I don't know.
I just called 911.
The society's members
are all descendants
of the original Salem village
dating back to 1636'.
Police remain puzzled and have no motives
for the suicides at this time.
Mayor Joseph Campbell is scheduled
to meet with the victims' families
and hold a press conference later today
to address these tragic events.
In a related story,
police still have no leads
in the disappearance
of Adelheid Hawthorne,
better known as Heidi LaRoc,
one third of WIQZ's Big H team.
Miss LaRoc had been missing since
attending the Lords of Salem event
on the night of the suicides.
After a thorough search,
police have found no evidence
that she had been among the victims...
the witch, Margaret Morgan,
gathers with her coven of six
deep within the woods
surrounding our beloved Salem.
The blasphemous music echoes in my mind
driving me to the point of insanity.
I, Jonathan Hawthorne,
swear before the eyes of God
on this day in the year of our Lord 1696,
to destroy all persons which choose
to pledge allegiance to the demon Satan
and his spectral army.
In the name of Satan...
...ruler of the earth...
...the king of the world...
...open wide the gates of hell
and come forth...
...from your blessed abyss.
All hail, Unholy Father,
make your presence known this night.
I swear on this day to be a faithful servant
to the Prince Lucifer.
- Make your presence known this night...
- I swear mind, body and soul
to the designs of his Lord Satan.
We trample on the cross!
We spit upon the book of lies.
- Make your presence known...
- I'm ready. I'm ready.
To abandon this mortal existence
and deny Jesus Christ,
the deceiver of mankind!
Sisters, stand ready to desecrate
these false bodies.
Show yourselves.
All together!
We desecrate the virgin whore!
Blaspheme the holy spirit!
Laugh at his suffering!
She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night...
I Through the night'
Hi, big bubba.
I love you.
Good boy. OK, go on.
Jesus.
Would putting it on the mat kill you?
Hi. Are you the new tenant?
I live here at number two.
All right.
In other news,
state legislators gathered today
to discuss changes
to passage lanes on the Mass Turnpike.
Construction could begin
as early as March 1st
labour unions agree
on the official stan' date.
City officials are in agreement
on the proposed toll hike
from $5. 10 to $7.
The president of the
motor transport association...
Get off the table. No, no, no.
Get down. No, no.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, Lace.
- How are you this morning?
- Moving a little slow.
I see you finally rented
the dreaded number five.
I wish, babe, I wish.
That apartment is a total dog.
No offense, Troy.
No one wants it.
I don't get it. I know the price is right.
But I just saw the tenant like ten minutes
ago standing in the doorway.
I hate to break it to you,
but there is no person in number five.
I definitely saw someone standing there.
I said hi
and they slammed the door in my face.
Huh. Well, that doesn't make any sense.
But I'll check it out
if it makes you feel better.
- Yeah, it would.
- Hello.
You handsome boy.
Did you have a good night's sleep, eh?
Well, I better get this beautiful boy
out for a walk.
I'll see you later.
- Come on, Troy.
- Have a good one.
The Big H Team!
Heidi LaRoc.
Herman Salvador.
Herman Jackson.
And once again voted number one
by the readers of Dig Boston.
The Big H Team!
WIQZ. Salem Rocks.
You know,
I think I'm starting to like it.
My mother lost her virginity
to that song, I believe.
- Don't talk about your mom that way.
- This is your mother!
We are here with Count Gorgann
from the band
Leviathan the Fleeing Serpent.
- Count? Royalty. Royalty in the house.
- Count. He is a count.
Count, how come you look at me
like a beautiful Frulein?
Ja, that is a my schnitzel.
Can you explain the philosophy
behind your music?
Our philosophy is to expose
the lies of the Christian whores
and Jesus the true bringer of death.
We are not the crying sheep of God.
We are the mighty goat.
Why the goat? Why not the pig?
According to Mr Chung's menu,
I was born in the year of the pig.
Ah, good for me.
The goat has free will
and for that reason he will always be
punished by the oppressor God.
Praise Jesus!
God must die. God is the unholy pig.
- We serve the butcher.
- OK.
Hey, girl!
Give it to me, what you say?
So, a Mexican dwarf?
Si Carlo.
I used to know a dwarf named Dero.
I What you say?
Give it to me, what you say?
Give it to me
Give it to me
- OK, are we done yet?
- I know I am.
Good God, let's get the F out of here.
It's Monday, so you know what that means.
Ladies' choice.
In other words...
- Rush.
- Whoo!
Let's have a drink.
All right, pour it on me.
Andale! Andale!
Hey, mama.
- This came for you.
- Oh.
Ah. Very fancy.
Who's that from, pray tell?
I don't know.
Some band called the Lords, I guess.
- Sure as shit.
- What?
It's shit.
OK, Mr Negative, just for that,
I'm gonna take it home
and give it a listen.
- Have a good one!
- Bye, baby.
- Salaam Alaikum.
- Mm-hm. Salaikum salaam.
Mm.
Anyone want a lift?
Uh, my head is spinning from the tequila.
If I get in a car, I think I might puke.
Enjoy the walk.
It's good for the lungs, I hear.
- So I hear.
- Hop up on the handle bars.
- You wish.
- Don't doubt me.
All right, kids,
I gotta get home to the warden
without racking up another DWS,
if you know what I mean.
- You mean DWI.
- No. DWS.
Driving while sexy.
- Ow!
- Driving while stupid.
Bonne chance!
Never fear, maestro's here.
I Shiny, shiny
- I Shiny boots of leather...
- What?
Nothing.
Too obvious?
What the fuck does that mean?
Ha!
We gotta convince Herman
to drop the rug routine.
You think?
Who does he think he's fooling
with that dead possum on his head?
He'd be much better off
rocking the Isaac Hayes.
You gotta tell him. He'll listen to you.
Me? I told him
he'd look cooler without it.
He won't listen to anybody.
Dead air.
Yeah. Dead hair.
Dead air.
Oh.
Well, how about this?
In Ukraine,
music always delivered in wooden box.
Sure, whatever.
Ah, thick vinyl. Strong like bear.
Whoa! Sorry.
I think I owe you a new needle.
- Well...
- Let me try this again.
Damn.
What are you doing?
Oh.
It's really fucked-up sounding.
We should smash or trash this tomorrow.
Hey, you all right? Are you cool?
Breed this new world
with the blessed spawn of your glory.
Your vile taste sickens me.
Remove this hideous creature.
Sisters, we have failed.
Hey. you OK?
Are you cool?
I suddenly got super tired.
Oh, well, yeah, no, I mean, I'll go.
I got a long ride home.
You can crash on the couch if you want.
Really? The couch?
Yeah, really, the couch.
Even though I had a mum
who was a drug addict,
it still felt so really attractive
for some reason,
even after years
of watching her go downhill.
I just knew that somewhere along the line,
I was gonna have to try it for myself
I wasn't the kind of guy who would really
learn from other peoples mistakes.
That was just not the way
I did it, you know.
If I did it, I was gonna do it and I was
gonna learn the lesson the hard way,
which I did, repeatedly.
So here I am, not wanting to learn
from other people's mistakes
and I'm trying to help you guys
learn from my mistakes,
even though I still struggle every day
with everything that I've ever learned
over the last 12 years.
- Thank you. That was great.
- Thank you. Thank you for coming.
I'm off dairy.
Attention all cows on the eastern seaboard.
Herman is off dairy.
Wait a minute. You're off dairy?
And gluten free.
- Do you even know what gluten free is?
- Of course.
I just saw you eat a grilled cheese
five minutes ago.
- I like cheese!
- Sandwiches don't count.
Um, bread and cheese.
Mm-hm.
Anyway, if you're just tuning in,
we've been chatting with Francis Matthais,
author of the book Satan's Last Stand. "
The Truth about the Salem Witch Trials.
You look very handsome
on the back cover here.
Thank you.
Is that why you took the book
into the bathroom, Heidi?
You are such a perv.
That's a very intriguing tattoo.
- Oh, thank you.
- It's really kind of mesmerizing.
Ah.
Whoa, Francis. Restrain.
OMG, stop looking at my titties!
I have a wife. Alice, if you're listening,
please do not change the locks.
It doesn't stop Heidi, don't worry.
All right, so, Francis,
how many people were actually executed
during the Salem witch trials?
Well, approximately 25,
if you include the accused witches
that died in prison.
Come on, 25? Are you serious?
I mean, I have to admit
I'm a bit disappointed with the number.
Were there any quote, unquote,
"real witches" in Salem?
Well, today there's a large
Wiccan population.
They're a positive earth-centered religion.
Yeah, hairy armpits and granola.
I don't dig it.
I shave my armpits.
- That's a pity.
- Hm.
You know, classic witches.
No, there are no classic witches, actually.
Witchcraft is nothing but
a psychotic belief
brought upon
by a delusional state of mind.
Windy, I can't make an exception.
The oven's already off.
Look, I got a couple calzones left.
I can drop 'em off on my way home.
How's that?
Bye-bye.
- Violence on Monday...
- ... appears...
The Truth about the Salem Witch Trials.
So, check it out.
Hey, everybody.
What do you think it's time for?
Smash or Trash.
I believe Heidi is gonna provide us
with our first victim.
That's right.
This one is a little different from most.
I have no info on where this came from.
All I know is the group is called the Lords.
I assume they're from around here,
so we'll just call them the Lords of Salem.
Francis, we'd like to thank you
for coming in.
- You've been a great guest.
- Well, thank you for having me.
Alright, open up the phone lines
and lets hear what everyone has to say.
Phones are now open,
so get ready to smash or trash.
Can you mute that?
It's giving me a headache.
Thanks.
May I ask you,
where did you get that music from?
According to our receptionist,
it just appeared,
with nothing but a note for me.
It specifically came just to you?
Uh, yeah, very specifically.
I didn't think anyone knew my real name.
Fucking internet.
Yeah. Well, I'm just gonna
mosey on home now,
get the critique from the wife, so...
- Have fun.
- Thank you.
Bye-bye.
- I'm home!
- Hola.
I hate this broken door.
So, did you listen? How was it?
Did I listen? Did I listen?
Of course I listened.
- You were fantastic.
- Yeah?
And I recorded you
so you could hear yourself back.
Oh, no, I hate the sound of my voice.
Imagine me.
I have to listen to it every day.
So did you...
Did you record the music that they played?
Oh. Yeah.
You know, I can't believe the noise
that masquerades as music today.
- You know?
- I know.
You know, I'm hungry.
I'm hungry. Are you?
I'm going to reheat
some of the leftover pasta.
I wanna... listen to that music again.
Something about it really upsets me.
Just...
Especially the name, Lords of Salem.
Where have I heard that?
You really think that Francis guy's cute?
Are you serious?
I mean, come on. Francis?
What kind of name is that?
Don't be jelly.
I'll see you kids tomorrow.
And you, you get some sleep, would you?
You look exhausted.
Ah, thanks. You make me feel so pretty.
You know what I mean, string bean.
Good night.
- See you.
- See you later.
Combien est-ce que je vous dais?
Combien est-ce que je vous dais?
Pouvez-vous parler plus lentement?
Pouvez-vous parler plus lentement?
- Heidi.
- Hi.
- Come in. Come and meet my sisters.
- I have to...
OK.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Oh, please come on in
and join the party.
Hey, she broke out the good stuff
for a change.
If you consider Merlot from Australia
the good stuff, mate!
Come on. Come and join us.
OK, but first I gotta go up and feed Troy.
- OK.
- OK.
Oh, awesome! We'll wait.
We'll be waiting.
Troy. Come here, Troy.
I know, buddy, I'm late. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. OK, hold on one second.
Here we go. Come here. That's it.
There you go.
OK, I promise I'll be back quick.
I'm just gonna go have a quick one
with the ladies downstairs. Be back soon.
That should do it.
Another dead soldier.
You served your country well, sir.
- Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear. Cheers.
So what do you gals do?
I'm a self-help guru.
I help people who are lost,
find themselves again.
Ah. I think I could use some of that.
We all could, baby.
- And Megan here...
- I read, darling.
Read? I'm not sure I understand.
Like a proofreader?
Megan is a very good palm reader.
Oh.
See, most readings
are like surface observations,
but Megan sees things really deeply,
into the world beyond.
Really? I've never had my palm read before.
I always thought it was kind of a scam.
No offense.
Oh, well, actually, my dear,
I do take offense, great offense.
Plastic Gypsies with crystal balls
and neon signs
have destroyed the value of my gift.
Give her your hand.
The hand and the brain are one.
One quarter of the motor cortex
in the human brain
is devoted to the hand.
- Did you know that?
- No.
The lines are formed
at a subatomic and cellular level.
These are the lines of your life.
Let me see your right hand.
The right hand is the future.
Ah. Is that the life line?
This is the line of fate.
This is the only line of concern to me.
The length of your life
is inconsequential.
It's what you do with your time
that matters.
Ah. OK, well...
So, tell me, what is my destiny?
It reads your fate, not your destiny.
Is there a difference?
With destiny
you can premeditate the outcome,
but fate, fate leaves you no choice.
It is predetermined
by forces stronger than ourselves.
Oh. I don't like that. I think
I changed my mind. I don't wanna know.
You must make peace
with your subconscious desires.
Really? What desires?
The wicked thoughts
burning inside your head
and exploding
in the juices between your legs.
The darkness within your very soul.
The only reason you exist.
Uh, I think I'll make peace
with those desires later.
I really should be getting upstairs now.
Heidi, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry.
Megan can be a little adamant,
you know, sometimes about these things.
Yeah, and a little wasted.
I'm really embarrassed.
This is not the evening I had planned.
No, it's fine. Have a good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Well, have another drink.
- I think that went rather well.
Why do you have to get so intense
when you do these readings?
It's really annoying.
NO change, eh, Pete? Still jumpy.
That was a sucker move,
burning down your boss.
You had him all wrong.
He never crossed you.
But you're a guy who speaks first
and thinks afterwards.
In your spot,
I'll almost choose the cops,
even if it is a first-degree murder rap.
It's lucky I spotted you.
What is so lucky about being dead?
I'm gonna take care of a guy
just a little too smart. Take off the mask.
Oh, man, what the hell?
Troy. Troy.
Get over here. Get over here.
What are you doing?
You're scratching up the door.
Come on.
You're scratching up the door. Come on.
Come on, Troy. Come on.
Come on, let's go back.
Come on. How'd you get out?
Here we go.
Sister.
Feel the earth.
Taste...
...of the air
Do you hear...
...the sound of the clouds...
...and the scent of the wind...
...all becoming one?
The whores of the deceivers
are gathering round us.
You...
...are the blade
by which will bleed...
...the cunting daughters of Salem.
Dear Heidi.
Bleed us a king.
Bleed us...
...a king.
Bleed us a king.
Bleed us a king.
Bleed us a king!
It's OK.
Hi.
Why are you in here?
I don't know.
I was walking by with my dog
and I thought I would just come in
and sit for a minute.
Is that OK? Are you closed?
No.
We never close.
God is always open and ready to listen.
I just needed to sit and think.
Yes.
It is a nice place to just... come and sit.
Yeah, it's nice.
You're a very sad girl.
Yeah.
I think I should get going.
Ow! What the fuck?
You have to understand
that there is a war waging in heaven.
Michael and his angels fought
against the dragon and his serpents,
but God does not spare angels
when they sin
but sends them to hell.
You are a filthy whore of Satan.
Christ can't save you.
Only I can save you.
You must no longer offer
worship and sacrifice
to the goat idols
to whom you prostitute yourself.
You must understand
what the Lord has done for you
and how he has supreme mercy
on your soul!
Miss?
I believe you fell asleep.
It's very peaceful in here.
We've been waiting for you, Heidi
Be it this day of 27 September,
1696, Margaret Morgan...
No!
...you stand guilty
to the crimes of witchcraft
and accepting the devil.
Morgan!
- Alice!
- Mm?
- Yeah, can you do something for me?
- I'm busy.
Yeah, can you play some music for me?
- I'm in the tub.
- Here, look at this. Look at this.
Look.
- Can this wait like five minutes?
- No, no.
Now, this... this book reprints
the last remaining five pages
of Jonathan Hawthorne's diary.
The witches, he refers to them
as the Lords of Salem.
Now, Heidi says
that the music that she received
came to her directly from the Lords.
That the same?
I think so.
Yeah. Exactly the same.
Isn't that odd?
No, not really.
I mean, you know, someone else
might have the same book
and copied the name and the music,
the melody and, you know...
Nothing out of this world, really.
No big deal.
Play it again.
I walk in
on butt-naked toothless granny
tooting Grandpa's clarinet
like Mrs Benny Goodman.
Sounds like your grandmother
has an appetite for the hot sauce.
She must have been
one spicy tamale.
Are you calling my grammy a whore?
She was a product of the Depression, man.
No New Deal for her.
So, look who's decided
to grace us with her presence.
Did I miss anything?
I guess we can make
our big announcement.
Fanfare, please.
The Lords are coming to Salem
for one night only
and we've got the tickets.
In fact, we've got all the tickets.
The show is free.
This is the Lords of Salem.
Satan.
Spirit of the earth.
Reveal yourselves...
to our master of the Lords.
Open wide the gates of hell
and come forth
from your blessed abyss.
Heidi?
Heidi, I'm here.
If you unlock the door, I can help you.
I was a little confused
about the message you left.
What exactly is it
that you needed from me?
Well, I'm not sure, you know.
I have a few questions
about your book here.
Ah. I thought somebody
besides dear old Mum had a copy.
Let's see.
Is this research for a new book?
Well, maybe, but I'm just trying
to track something right now.
So, what can I do you for?
Well, um, couple of days ago
I was at this radio station,
I was hawking my book,
and I heard this music
by a group called the Lords of Salem.
And I thought that this group and this music
seemed a little odd,
so I did a little research, blah, blah,
and found it in your book.
Let me guess. The diary
of the Reverend Jon Hawthorne, right?
Yeah. I was wondering if by any chance
you have the complete diary or...?
No, no, no, but I did read it in depth.
And do you remember anything of interest?
Well, basically Hawthorne was obsessed
with, in his words, "the master witch"
Margaret Morgan and her coven of six,
whom he dubbed the Lords of Salem.
Why do you think he was obsessed
with this particular coven?
Oh, he thought they were hiding out
in the woods around Salem
making the devil's music
for the purpose of possessing the souls
of the Salem women.
Yeah, well, I gathered that
from the few pages that I read,
that he and his group
eventually killed Morgan and the coven.
- Right.
- That's where the pages end.
So I was wondering if there's
any other light you could shed on this?
Well, yeah, actually, yeah.
Let's not forget
the curse of Margaret Morgan.
- What curse?
- Oh, God.
The curse section. That's the best part.
This is where the diary gets so bizarro.
The final sections of the diary just...
Well, I mean,
it's complete rambling nonsense, right?
- Let's hear it.
- OK.
Well, apparently during the execution,
while the coven and Margaret Morgan
were being roasted alive,
Margaret Morgan put a curse
on the females of Salem.
Something about the forever deaths
of the daughters' daughters
and other crazy stuff like that.
Also she called Hawthorne's bloodline
"the vessel by which the devil's child
would inherit the earth".
Whatever the fuck that meant.
Had to get out of that apartment, man.
One more second in there,
I was really gonna lose it.
Mi casa es su casa.
Watch. It's hot.
I got nothing going today.
Well, Mr Mercy...
What?
What?
You always make that sound
when something's on your mind.
No, I don't.
Come on, man. You know I'm clean
if that's what you're worrying about.
I know.
I mean, but, come on,
your behaviour at the station last night,
just, you know, kind of...
What?
- Freaky?
- Freaky. You don't know the half of it.
I know this sounds stupid,
but I really think that Lords record
is fucking with me.
What do you mean, fucking with you?
Every time I hear it, it's like...
Every...
Oh, man. Let me get...
Just stay calm, all right?
Hello? Yeah, yeah.
I... I need an ambulance.
My friend, she's coughing up blood
and she's got stomach pains.
Yeah, we're on the comer of Hodges,
Hodges and Derby.
Don't worry.
And I have.
Let's be sensible about this.
Who knows?
We might be useful to each other.
Forever more, our eyes will burn
with sights of the lamented
Forever more, our pain will be
as the pain of a woman tied down,
unable to move,
where one fiery worm eats into her vitals.
The woman screams for unconsciousness,
but there is no unconsciousness In hell.
The worm eats and eats
and eats and eats...
Heidi, Heidi.
Heidi
Heidi
Heidi, Heidi.
Heidi
Heidi
Hey.
Thanks, man.
What is your name?
Comment vous appelez-vous?
Comment vous appelez-vous?
Where is the bathroom?
O est la salle de bain?
O est la salle de bain
Where is the train station?
Where is the restaurant?
- O est le restaurant?
- O est...
Where is...
...restaurant?
This completes Lesson One.
Please turn the tape over.
Merci beaucoup.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I might be wrong, but I thought
maybe you could use some company.
I could.
You don't look so good, darling.
- What's that?
- This is lovely calming tea.
But, more importantly,
chocolate-chip scones.
I think they might be slightly overdone.
Keep going, Heidi. Good girl.
There we go.
Heidi LaRoc, let's see who you really are.
Adelheid Elizabeth Hawthorne.
Let's see who you're connected to.
And you are...
Reverend Jonathan Hawthorne.
Fuck me.
Oh, man.
That's right, darling.
You just lay back and rest.
Don't you worry.
We're gonna be right here if you need us.
That's right. Good girl.
Little baby.
There.
Hello?
Yes, I'd like to speak
to Heidi Hawthome, please.
I'm sorry, darling,
you've got a wrong number.
Please do not call back.
It's so frightfully rude of you
to call at this hour.
Who was that?
Lord knows.
Sonny, get the chair.
Oh, Father, you give us the venom.
Fill us with your essence.
Let it burn through our souls
and our minds.
We trample on the cross.
We spit upon the book of lies.
We desecrate the virgin whore.
We blaspheme his holy spirit
and we rejoice in his suffering.
Guide this child
still in the shackles of the oppressor.
Help her break free
from his tyrant ways.
Entice her to take the precious bite
from whence she shall be delivered.
You are the dragon, Lord Satan.
Hey, where are you going?
Lunch is almost ready.
Oh, I'm gonna go down for a second
to the museum.
I gotta check on something
for the new exhibits.
What are they gonna do
when you retire?
Oh, well, probably sell the place
and start a Starbucks.
- I'll be back in an hour.
- OK. Love you.
Love you.
Hello.
Hey, it's me.
Hey
Yeah, I was just calling to say what's up?
And make sure everything's all right.
Oh. OK.
So... is everything all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, um...
Hey, I was thinking, maybe we can
hook up before the show...
...and come by,
get some food or something.
Maybe talk about things.
No, I'm all right.
I'm not feeling very hungry any more.
OK no, no, I understand that.
I could swing by around 10:30.
We can head to the gig together.
No.
I'll get there on my own. Bye.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't... don't... don't hang up.
I know in the past I, I didn't understand
and I'm not saying I understand now,
but I'm here.
Whenever you need me.
I know.
I'll always know.
Bye.
You love him, don't you?
Excuse me.
Does Heidi Hawthorne live here?
Do you perhaps mean
Adelheid Elizabeth Hawthorne?
Yes, as a matter of fact I do, yes.
You look familiar.
Oh, well, I work
at the wax museum part time.
You probably saw me
walking back and forth on my lunch hour.
Oh, yes. The wonderful wax museum.
We have to teach our impressionable
children about Salem's glorious past.
- Yes. Well, I'm Francis Matthais.
- Uh-huh.
Now, are you a friend or foe?
Oh, well, I don't know
if I'm exactly a friend,
but I'm definitely not a foe.
I'm a mild acquaintance.
- And you are?
- Lacy.
I look after Heidi.
Oh, well, could I see her?
I don't see why not.
Why don't you come on in?
Heidi's just stepped out for a moment,
but we can wait in my apartment'.
- She won't be long.
- Oh, well, I can come back later.
NO. NO, no, no.
Come on in. Come and have some tea.
All right.
So...
Are you a married man, Francis?
Yes, as a matter of fact.
26 years in November.
26 happy years?
For the most part, yeah.
Local girl?
No, she's not a Salem lifer like me.
She's a Venezuelan girl, actually.
Any children?
No. We never got around to children.
Well, that's understandable.
Children are a bit of a waste.
Most are a total loss.
So few have anything of substance
to really offer us.
But... on the rare occasion
a special child appears.
Mm.
Well, I never really
thought about it that way.
I just didn't like the idea
of changing diapers.
Is Megan spinning her little philosophies
on the value of breeding again?
Don't mind her.
She lives in her own little bubble.
So, Mr Matthais, what was so important
that you had to rush over here
and see our dear little Heidi?
Well, it wasn't that important.
It was just a record that she played
on her show the other night.
Oh, really? And what record
would that be, Mr Matthais?
Some record by a group called the Lords.
You know, don't take this the wrong way,
but aren't you a little old
to like that shit?
Yeah. I was a guest on the show, actually,
if you can imagine that.
Sonny, darling,
would you mind getting me the sugar?
So, anyway, I just had some information
I thought she might find interesting.
Oh, I'm sure she would.
Mr Matthais, you strike me as a man
who would normally mind his own business.
I do, do I?
Why are you laughing?
I'm not laughing.
Is something suddenly funny?
Uh...
- You know, I think I'll come back...
- You know what I think?
I don't have a clue.
I think you've come here to get inside
my dear little Heidi's head.
Get inside her head and fuck her brain.
Have you come here to stick
your nosy cock inside her head
and fuck her brain, Mr Matthais?
- I think I should go.
- Oh, no!
- Good.
- That felt good.
Well, if it isn't my favourite fairy story.
The End of the American Watch.
I'll bet there are all sorts
of juicy stories of cunty witches
and the heroic deeds
of the fucking mighty Jon Hawthome.
It seems you'd love to tell
our little Heidi
all about these spooky little tales
of judgement day.
Sonny.
No. No!
Sugar
I call my baby my sugar
I never maybe...
What a waste of a good man.
Yes. Such a pity.
And he was never going to be able
to stop anything.
Hey-ho.
Anyone care for a fresh pot of tea?
Lovely, darling.
Hello, Whitey.
Hi.
Going somewhere, are we?
Yeah, I was gonna go up and get Heidi.
You look nervous. Are you nervous?
No. Excuse me.
Why don't you sit here with us?
We need to talk.
No, really, I should get going.
We've got this thing
we're gonna do tonight.
Well, don't let us stand in your way.
Yeah, sure.
Take care of Heidi.
She means the world to us, you know.
What are you doing here?
I told you not to come here.
It's OK, Heidi.
You can tell Whitey to wait outside.
Wait for me outside.
What the fuck is going on here?
Please just wait for me outside. Just go.
Come on, Whitey.
Come on.
Come with me.
Ah, man.
- You look like death.
- Chill, man.
We'll talk about this later, OK?
- Later?
- Yeah, later.
Don't tell me to chill.
I wanna know what the hell's going on.
Just listen.
Let's just get through this tonight.
Tomorrow we can start dealing with this.
Bye.
Lord, hear us.
We are ready to bring
your precious child to this world.
In memory of Satan,
you preach punishment and shame
to those who would
emancipate themselves
and repudiate the slavery of the Church.
Satan, come to us. We are ready.
Satan, come to us. We are ready.
Satan, come to us. We are ready.
Welcome...
...whores of Salem.
I can taste the foul stench
of your ancestors rotting
in the folds of filth between your legs.
The blood of your deaths
shall be the eternity
Of OUR resurrection.
Heidi.
The one.
We've been waiting for you, Heidi.
We've always...
...been waiting.
We honour you through our actions
and our thoughts.
Each day that we live upon this earth,
may we grow stronger in wisdom
and in our love for you.
You are our father, our teacher,
our muse, our lover.
We have taken your mark.
Without exception, death will come
to each and every one of us.
The devils of this earth
will rattle on our very coffins
with cloven hooves.
The body we pamper
will become a city of corruption,
a horror onto this earth.
Our own mothers
could not bear to look upon it.
But if we are saved
our bodies will rise again,
free and glorious when Christ comes.
But if we lose our battle with temptation
and choose to ride upon the goat,
we know what our agony will be.
Forever more we shall be awash
in the burning rivers of the dead.
Forever more the stench of hell
and the rotting flesh of the damned
Will fill our nostrils.
Forever more our ears will resound
with the screams of the tormented.
Forever more.
It was our Lord Satan
that took you to the mill of the grave
so that you should thus become
the bread and the blood
of revelation and revulsion.
And what costume
shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties?
hand-me-down dress
from who knows where
To all tomorrow's parties
And where will she go
and what shall she do
When midnight comes around?
She'll turn once more
to Sunday's crown
And cry behind the door
8:45 and this is the WIQZ news break.
The dead bodies
of 32 female members
of the Salem Historical Lifers Society
were discovered this morning in what
appears to be an apparent mass suicide.
The gruesome scene was discovered
in the early morning hours
by Donald Felix,
a janitor at the Salem Palladium.
At first I thought they were
mannequins left on the stage, you know.
But as I go closer,
I could see they were real.
It was a gruesome display, man.
... I don't know.
I just called 911.
The society's members
are all descendants
of the original Salem village
dating back to 1636'.
Police remain puzzled and have no motives
for the suicides at this time.
Mayor Joseph Campbell is scheduled
to meet with the victims' families
and hold a press conference later today
to address these tragic events.
In a related story,
police still have no leads
in the disappearance
of Adelheid Hawthorne,
better known as Heidi LaRoc,
one third of WIQZ's Big H team.
Miss LaRoc had been missing since
attending the Lords of Salem event
on the night of the suicides.
After a thorough search,
police have found no evidence
that she had been among the victims...