The Manchurian Candidate (1962) Movie Script

[ENGINE IDLING]
-[JAZZ PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
-[PEOPLE LAUGHING, CHATTERING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-Joint raided!
-No, no.
It's just our Raymond.
Our lovable Sergeant Shaw.
-All right, let's go, you men! Come on!
-[MEN COMPLAINING, CHATTERING]
Let's go.
Come on, Sarge. Gertrude buy you beer.
What's the matter him?
I'm afraid our Saint Raymond,
he don't approve.
[LAUGHS]
Well, maybe he's got a girl
back home or something.
Him? Our Raymond? Are you kidding?
MAN: Come on, Stevens, get up! Let's go!
Hey, Silver, how about the robe?
What do you mean, my robe? Get outta here.
We gotta go. We gotta go.
[GUNFIRE IN DISTANCE]
[GUNFIRE STOPS]
Bad here.
How do you know?
Chunjin born two miles from here, Captain.
So far, every place we've been in Korea,
this joker was born two miles from it.
-What's so bad about it?
-Tricky.
Swamp all around.
Thirty yards up may be quicksand.
Nobody said anything about quicksand.
-[MACHINE GUN FIRE]
-Can't we go around it?
-[GUNFIRE STOPS]
-No, Sergeant.
What's your personal advice?
All walk in single line next 200 yards.
Rejected. Not tactical
to travel forward in a single line.
-Patrol sink.
-[AIRPLANE PASSING OVERHEAD]
Can't we go around it?
-No, Sergeant.
-Never mind.
Okay, pass the word.
[GRUNTING]
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
[RUSSIAN]
[SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN]
-[BAND PLAYING "WASHINGTON POST MARCH"]
-[PEOPLE CHATTERING, CHEERING]
NARRATOR: This nation jealously guards
its highest award for valor,
the Congressional Medal of Honor.
In the Korean War,
with 5,720,000 personnel engaged,
only 77 men were so honored.
One of these 77 men
was Staff Sergeant Raymond Shaw.
[CHEERING INTENSIFIES]
Raymond Shaw was returned from combat
and flown directly to Washington
to be decorated personally
by the president of the United States.
This is why his presence, or the presence
of any Medal of Honor winner,
is sufficient to bring generals
to their feet, saluting.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Congratulations, son. How do you feel?
Like Captain Idiot
in Astounding Science Comics.
WOMAN: Hold it, General!
Hold it, General, please!
Come on, Jack. We've got to
get in there quickly. Quickly!
Mother, what is this?
What are you doing here?
-Senator Iselin, how about a statement?
-Thank you, General.
How does it feel to be the father
of a Medal of Honor winner?
He's not my father!
The senator is Raymond's stepfather.
However, Raymond's always
I can only say that as one who has devoted
his life to the service of his country
-You did this, Mother.
-[SENATOR ISELIN CONTINUES]
You organized
this disgusting three-ring circus.
But, darling,
you're a Medal of Honor winner.
Incidentally, congratulations.
I was going to write to
you, but we've been in
the most frightful mess
the last few months.
This moment will stand out as the proudest
All right, all right. Let him through.
That's enough now.
That's enough, I say. Let him through.
Say "cheese."
All right, that's enough now.
Let the poor boy through now. Please.
What is the matter with you, Raymond?
We've gone to a good deal of trouble to
-Arranged a parade for you and so forth.
-A parade?
Get that Get that out of here.
Why, you publicity-sick, flag-simple boob.
Raymond, just because your parents,
and the entire country for that matter,
-happens to be proud of you
-Who's kidding who, Mother?
Johnny's up for reelection in November.
You've got it all figured out,
haven't you?
Johnny Iselin's boy,
Medal of Honor winner.
That should get you another 50,000 votes.
Raymond, I'm your mother.
How can you talk to me this way?
You know I want nothing for myself.
You know that my entire life is devoted
to helping you and to helping Johnny.
-My boys. My two little boys.
-Mother, stop it. Stop it.
-Stop it.
-That is all I want.
NARRATOR: On the afternoon
of his arrival in Washington,
Raymond Shaw was decorated
at the White House
by the president of the United States.
His citation attested to
by his commanding officer,
Captain Bennett Marco,
and the nine surviving members
of his patrol, read in part
"Displaying valor above
and beyond the call of duty,
"did single-handedly save the lives
of nine members of his patrol,"
"capturing an enemy machine gun nest"
"and taking out, in the process,
a full company of enemy infantry."
"He then proceeded to lead his patrol,"
"which had been listed
as missing in action for three days,"
back through the enemy lines to safety."
A gift from the Citizens For Iselin
Committee for his last birthday.
It's absolutely saved our lives
during the campaign.
You see, this opens up into a double bed.
This is the press room.
And this this is my private office.
Anything to take the pain
out of campaigning, huh?
[LAUGHING] That's what I always say.
May I take this thing off now, Mother?
Oh, Raymond, what is the matter with you?
You look as if your head were going to
come to a point in the next 13 seconds.
Johnny, fix him a drink or something.
Sit down, Raymond. Relax.
We'll be home
in less than two and a half hours.
I'm not going home with you, Mother.
I'm going to New York.
What?
I've got a job on a newspaper.
Research assistant to Mr. Holborn Gaines.
Holborn Gaines? That Communist?
He's not a Communist, Mother.
As a matter of fact, he's a Republican.
But the terrible things
he's written about Johnny.
He came to interview me
at the White House this morning.
Afterwards, I asked him for a job.
He gave it to me.
We discovered that we had
a great deal in common.
What could you possibly have in common
with that dreadful old man?
Well, for one thing, we discovered that
we both loathe and despise you and Johnny.
And that's a beginning.
NARRATOR: The war in Korea was over.
Captain, now Major Bennett Marco
had been reassigned
to Army Intelligence in Washington.
It was, by and large, a pleasant
assignment, except for one thing.
Night after night, the major was plagued
by the same reoccurring nightmare.
Stop him.
Stop him, Mama. Stop him, Mama.
Stop him.
WOMAN: Another modern discovery
which we owe to the hydrangea
[YAWNING]
Concerns the influence of air drainage
upon plant climate.
Many years ago, when I was
traveling about the country,
I noticed magnificent hydrangeas
on the hills
where the air drainage was, uh, perfect,
and very poor specimens,
or perhaps none at all,
in the valleys.
Formerly, we used to
consider sheltered valleys
more favorable to plants than hilltops.
But the avoidance of late spring
and early autumn frosts
enjoyed by sites with good air drainage,
where the cold air can drain
safely away to lower levels,
gives the hills a decided advantage.
Thus it was the hydrangeas
that gave the first pointer
in another modern discovery
of horticultural importance.
From this it might appear that
the hydrangea is a fairly simple plant,
but there are more complications.
The cultivation of hydrangeas was evolved
from a number of varieties
originally found in Japan,
not all of which, of course,
have the same characteristics.
Two of them do not share the quality
of producing blue flowers
in mineral-rich soils.
Allow me to introduce
our American visitors.
I must ask you to forgive their
somewhat lackadaisical manners,
but I have conditioned them,
or brainwashed them, which I understand
is the new American word,
to believe that they are
waiting out a storm
in a lobby of a small hotel in New Jersey
where a meeting of
the ladies' garden club is in progress.
You will notice that I have told them
they may smoke.
[CHUCKLES] I've allowed my people
to have a little fun
in the selection of
bizarre tobacco substitutes.
Are you enjoying your cigarette, Ed?
Yes, ma'am.
Yak dung.
Oh, tastes good like a cigarette should.
-[LAUGHING]
-[SCATTERED CHUCKLES]
Now then, comrades
May I present the famous Raymond Shaw.
CHINESE MAN: The young man
you've flown 8,000 miles
to this dreary spot in Manchuria to see.
Raymond, pull your chair
over here by me, please.
I am sure you've all heard
the old wives' tale
that no hypnotized subject
may be forced to do
that which is repellent
to his moral nature,
whatever that may be.
Nonsense, of course.
Oh, you note-takers might set down
a reminder to consult Brenman's paper,
"Experiments in the Hypnotic Production of
Antisocial and Self-injurious Behavior,"
or Wells' 1941 paper
which was titled, I believe,
"Experiments in
the Hypnotic Production of Crime."
Or, of course,
Andrew Salter's remarkable book,
Conditioned Reflex
Therapy, to name only three.
CHAIRLADY: Or if it offends you
that only the West is working
to manufacture more crime
and better criminals
against the modern shortages,
I suggest Krasnogorski's
Primary Violence Motivation,
or Serov's The Unilateral Suggestion
to Self-Destruction.
My dear Yen,
as you grow older
you grow more long-winded.
Can't we get to the point?
Has the man ever killed anyone
or has he not?
I apologize, my dear Dimitri.
I keep forgetting that you're a young
country and your
attention span is limited.
Tell me, Raymond,
have you ever killed anyone?
-No, ma'am.
-Not even in combat?
In combat?
Yes, ma'am, I think so.
[CHUCKLES] Of course you have, Raymond.
Raymond has been a crack shot
since childhood.
CHAIRLADY:
Marvelous outlet for his aggressions.
May I have the bayonet, please?
Not with the knife. With the hands.
YEN: With the hands?
Here. Have him use this.
Ah. Da, da.
Raymond, whom do you dislike the least
in your group here today?
-The least?
-That's right.
Well, I guess Captain Marco, ma'am.
You notice how he is
always drawn to authority.
That won't do, Raymond.
We need the captain to get you your medal.
Whom else?
Well, I guess Ed Mavole, ma'am.
Ah, that's better.
Now then, Raymond, take this scarf
and strangle Ed Mavole.
Uh, to death.
Yes, ma'am.
-Excuse me, Ben.
-Mm-hmm.
Pardon me.
-Hey, Sarge, cut it out.
-Quiet, Ed, please.
Now, you just sit there quietly
and cooperate.
Yes, ma'am.
[GASPING]
[SCREAMS]
Major, to your knowledge,
have any other ex-members of your patrol
had similar dreams?
No, sir, not to my knowledge.
Doesn't it strike anyone as curious that
Mavole was one of the two men
lost in the action and
Yet every night in my dream, he's the
he's the one that Raymond
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
Now look, Major Marco,
since you first brought this recurring
dream of yours to our attention,
Raymond Shaw, his life, his background,
his habits, his friends and associates
have been under scrupulous examination.
Now, the facts speak for themselves.
His stepfather is a United States senator.
His mother is head of
15 different patriotic organizations.
Raymond Shaw himself is employed as
confidential assistant to Holborn Gaines,
the most respected
political journalist in America.
Now, it's inconceivable, Major, that any
Major Marco.
Major, as the consulting
psychiatrist present,
I'd be most interested in hearing
your personal feelings about Shaw.
Raymond Shaw
is the kindest, bravest, warmest,
most wonderful human being
I've ever known in my life.
I see.
And this opinion, Major,
was it generally held?
His fellow soldiers, did they feel
the same way toward him?
The men loved him, sir.
Why shouldn't they? He saved their lives.
It would seem obvious to me
Major Marco is suffering
a delayed reaction
to 18 months
of continuous combat in Korea.
I would strongly recommend that the matter
of Raymond Shaw be dropped here and now
and that Major Marco
be temporarily reassigned
to less, uh, strenuous
and, if I may say so,
less sensitive duties.
I think a few months, uh, detached service
to, uh, well,
perhaps the public relations corps
should put the major
right back in the pink.
Mr. Secretary! Mr. Secretary!
Can you explain
the proposed cut in budget?
Since, sir, you have asked
a simple-minded question,
I will give you an equally
simple-minded answer.
Since no great naval power
menaces the free world today,
the Navy's overwhelming
preponderance of surface ships
seems to be superfluous.
Hence the cut in budget.
Major, my time is important.
How much longer must we
go on with this nonsense?
Yes, sir.
If there are no further questions
for the secretary,
I think that about wraps things up.
-[SPECTATORS MURMURING]
-Mr. Secretary.
I have a question, sir.
SECRETARY: Who are you, sir?
I am United States Senator
John Yerkes Iselin,
and I have a question so serious
that the safety of our nation
may well depend on your answer.
-Who?
-[MURMURING]
No evasions, Mr. Secretary.
No evasions, if you please, sir.
Evasions? What the hell
are you talking about?
What kind of foolishness is this?
Mr. Secretary, I'm kinda new at this job,
but I don't think it's
good public relations
to talk that way to a
United States senator,
even if he is an idiot.
I am United States Senator
John Yerkes Iselin,
and I have here a list of
the names of 207 persons
who are known by the secretary of defense
as being members of the Communist party!
-What?
-And who are still, nevertheless
If you have such a list, bring it up here!
Shaping the policy
of the Defense Department!
Senator who? What the hell
did you say your name was?
I demand an answer, Mr. Secretary.
There will be no covering up, sir.
-SECRETARY: What?
-No covering up.
You are not going to
get your hands on this list.
How did you get in
here in the first place?
-And I deeply regret
-Major, throw that lunatic out of here!
Having to say,
in front of these ladies and gentlemen
-You claim that you're a senator?
-and television and radio audience
-of our great country
-Senator what, I wanna know.
That you no longer
have my confidence, sir!
Why, you're an idiot, if you ask me!
You're out of your mind!
This is no longer a matter for
investigation by the Defense Department!
Get out of here!
Where's the sergeant at arms?
I'm afraid you have lost your chance, sir.
Get that man out of this room!
This matter is now the responsibility
of the United States Senate!
Get him out of this room!
I will not have him in here.
Do you hear me?
No! Never!
If I ever catch you in this room again,
I'll throw you out bodily!
What do you want? Get out of here!
-MAN: Hold it!
-Don't you take my picture anymore!
Clear this room! Get away from me!
-Go on! Get out of here!
-Senator. Senator Iselin, I'd like to
-Yes.
-I'd like to verify that number, sir.
-Huh?
-How many Communists did you say?
[CLEARS THROAT] Oh, uh
Well, Major, I said there are exactly
I have absolute proof there are, uh,
104 card-carrying Communists
in the Defense Department at this time.
-How many, sir?
-Uh [CLEARS THROAT] 275.
And that's absolutely all I have to say
on the subject at this time. Come, babe.
-Major, how many did he say?
-Hold it! Hold it!
-Excuse me.
-Hold it, Senator.
-Boys, please.
-Major, how many did he say?
[GASPING]
[POLITE APPLAUSE]
Ladies.
Very good, Raymond.
Thank you, ma'am.
Captain Marco.
-Yes, ma'am?
-On your feet, Captain, please.
-Sorry, ma'am.
-Captain
When you are returned
with your patrol to Korea
and you make your way
to command headquarters,
what will be the first duty
you will undertake?
I will make my report
on the patrol, ma'am.
What will you report?
I will recommend urgently
that Raymond Shaw
be posted for the Medal of Honor.
He saved our lives
and took out a complete company
of Chinese infantry.
A complete company? What the hell is this?
We can spare
an imaginary company of infantry
for this particular
plan, Mikhail Mikhalich.
All right.
If we are out to humiliate
our brave Chinese ally
in the newspapers of the world,
we might as well make it a full battalion.
We don't object, Comrade.
I assure you of that.
However, Comrade, we thank you
for thinking of the matter in that light.
[CLINKING]
If we may proceed with the demonstration.
Raymond.
Who is that little fellow
sitting next to the captain?
That's Bobby Lembeck.
Our mascot, I guess you'd call him.
Doesn't look old enough
to be in your army.
I guess he isn't, but there he is, ma'am.
Captain Marco, will you be good enough
to lend Raymond your pistol, please?
Yes, ma'am.
-Thanks, Ben.
-Sure, kid.
Shoot Bobby Raymond through the forehead.
Yes, ma'am.
[GUNSHOT]
[SCREAMING]
Honey. Wake up, wake up!
Wake up. Wake up. It's all right.
It's all right. It's all right.
-[GASPING]
-It's all right.
It's all right. It's all right.
-It's that same dream again?
-Uh-huh.
-[GROANS]
-It's all right.
What What makes it so awful
is that I keep dreaming a thing like that
about Sergeant Shaw.
It's been going on for weeks now.
I must be going crazy!
What you ought to do
is to write to Sergeant Shaw.
I tell you, nothing's wrong with me!
Write to him and see if anyone else
is having dreams like yours.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Maybe Maybe I will.
Yeah, maybe I'll do that.
If anybody can help me, he can.
You like him a lot, don't you?
Raymond Shaw is the bravest, kindest,
warmest, most wonderful human being
I've ever known in my life.
MAN: Dear Sarge,
I had to say this or write this to someone
because I think I'm going nuts,
and since you were my best friend
in the Army, here goes.
Sarge, I'm in trouble.
I'm afraid to go to sleep
because I have terrible dreams.
I dream about ail the guys on the patrol
where you won the medal,
and the dream has
a lot of Chinese people in it
and a lot of big brass
from the Russian Army.
Well, it's pretty rough.
You have to take my word for that.
[RINGING]
MAN: Raymond Shaw, please.
This is he.
Raymond,
why don't you pass the time
by playing a little solitaire?
[LINE CLICKS]
[PHONE RINGS]
MAN: Raymond.
-Yes, sir.
-Can you see the red queen?
Yes, sir.
Good.
One week from next Saturday
you will be called for at 11:10 a.m.
and taken to
the Timothy Swardon Sanitarium,
84 East 61st Street.
We want you there for a checkup.
Is that clear?
Yes, sir.
You may put the cards away now.
Goodbye, Raymond.
[LINE CLICKS]
Mr. Gaines. It's Mr. Shaw.
He was run down in the street
by a hit-and-run driver.
It just came over the AP.
Good heavens.
Find out what hospital
he's in and call them.
See if there's anything we can do to help.
You're welcome. Goodbye.
That was Mr. Gaines from his newspaper.
He said to tell him to take it easy
and not to worry about a thing.
Which, of course, you will not tell him,
on the chance it is some sort
of prearranged code.
[KNOCKING]
-Comrade Zilkov?
-Yes?
Yen Lo. Pavlov Institute?
Doctor, an honor and a pleasure.
-You may go.
-[SNAPS FINGERS]
[SNAPS FINGERS]
When did you arrive?
I was flown in last night
under embassy quota.
Revolting journey.
Ah, Raymond. Nice to see you again.
It's nice to see you again, sir.
We're going through
this elaborate procedure
simply out of precaution,
in case there are any visitors.
Although I cannot imagine
who will visit Raymond.
Attractive plant you have here.
Thank you, Doctor.
It's actually a rest home
for wealthy alcoholics.
We were able to purchase it
three years ago.
Except for this floor
and the floor above it,
which we have sealed off
for security purposes,
the rest functions quite normally.
In fact, it is one of the few
Soviet operations in America
that actually showed a profit
at the end of the last fiscal year.
Profit? Fiscal year?
Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk.
Beware, my dear Zilkov.
The virus of capitalism
is highly infectious.
Soon you'll be letting money out
at interest.
[LAUGHS]
You must try, Comrade Zilkov,
to cultivate a sense of humor.
There's nothing like a good laugh now and
then to lighten the burdens of the day.
-[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
-Tell me, Raymond.
Do you remember murdering
Mavole and Lembeck?
I beg your pardon, sir?
Mavole and Lembeck.
The men who were lost on the patrol.
Can you recall what happened to them?
Yes, sir.
It was a very clear action
for a night action.
Captain Marco sent up some low flares
so it was easy to see what was happening.
Bobby Lembeck got separated to the left.
Mavole went after him.
By the time he reached him,
the enemy had a fix on the position.
They were killed instantly
by a high mortar shell.
I don't think they ever knew
what hit them.
Do you realize, Comrade,
the implications of the weapon
that has been placed at your disposal?
You may remove your head bandage, Raymond.
A normally conditioned American
who has been trained to kill
and then to have no memory
of having killed.
Without memory of his deed,
he cannot possibly feel guilt.
Nor will he, of course,
have any reason to fear being caught.
And having been relieved of those uniquely
American symptoms, guilt and fear,
he cannot possibly give himself away.
Ah, our Raymond will remain
an outwardly normal, productive,
sober and respected member
of the community.
And I should say, if properly used,
entirely police-proof.
His brain has not only
been washed, as they say,
it has been dry-cleaned.
[LAUGHING]
Thank you, Raymond.
You may replace your head bandage.
Sealed floors or no, you will,
of course, permit him to have visitors,
uh, to avoid suspicion.
Of course.
A team of my specialists
is being flown in tonight.
It will take about a week,
working between visiting hours,
to check the mechanism out completely.
It's been, after all, two years
since the conditioning took place,
and you want to be sure the linkages
are still functioning correctly
before he is turned over
to his American operator.
[EXCLAIMS] And now, Comrade,
if you will excuse me.
Where are you going?
Since there is nothing more I can do
until my specialists arrive,
I had thought to
spend the afternoon at Macy's.
Madam Yen has given me
the most appalling list.
[LAUGHS]
No, no. I personally guarantee it.
He's ready to be turned over
to his American operator.
And I, being personally responsible
for Soviet security
in the entire Eastern Seaboard
of the United States,
refuse to turn him over to his operator
until at least one practical test
has been run.
You say the man has been built
as an assassin.
Very well, then.
Let him assassinate someone.
[SCOFFS]
I'm shocked
that a security officer
with the responsibility you hold
would risk a mechanism
as valuable as Raymond
out of sheer nervousness.
You yourself admit the man
has not killed for over two years.
I assure you, Doctor,
conditions offering minimum risk
can be arranged.
All right, if you insist
on this foolishness,
have him kill one of your own people
here on a sealed floor.
I would. I would, gladly.
But our table of organization happens
to be under acceptable strength as it is.
Why can't we be reasonable about this?
Why can't he kill some
nonproductive person on the outside?
Very well then.
But for his own protection,
he must be instructed
that if he is ever, at any time,
discovered at the scene of an assignment,
this other person or persons
must also be killed.
All right, all right, Doctor.
Whom do you think he should kill?
With humor, my dear Zilkov.
Always with a little humor.
If kill we must for a better New York,
why should it not be his
superior at the newspaper,
Mr Holborn Gaines?
With Mr. Gaines out of the way,
might he not then be given
that very influential job himself?
GAINES: Who's there?
It's me, Mr. Gaines.
Raymond.
I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.
Don't get any silly ideas about
this ridiculous-looking bed jacket.
It was my wife's.
It's the warmest thing I have.
Perfect for reading in bed at night.
I didn't know you were married, sir.
She died nearly six years ago.
But what the devil are you doing
here at four o'clock in the morning?
Anyway, I thought you were
in the hospital.
Oh, now, don't tell me that you've
come here at this ridiculous hour
to talk something over?
You're not gonna pour out your heart
with the details of some sordid love
affair or anything like that, are you?
No, sir.
As a matter of fact,
they told me you'd be asleep.
Who told you I'd be asleep?
They did.
"They"?
Who's this mysterious "they"?
Raymond?
Answer me, my boy.
[KNOCKING]
-Colonel.
-Ben. May I come in for a minute?
Oh, please do. Of course. Come on in.
Uh, may I ask the colonel,
"A," is this an official visit?
And "B," may I, uh, mix you a drink?
"A," yes, it is,
and "B," you certainly may.
-Scotch all right?
-Fine.
My God, where do you get all the books?
Oh, I, uh I got a guy
picks them out for me.
At random.
-Water all right?
-Fine.
He's in, uh, San Francisco.
A little bookstore up there.
He ships 'em to me
wherever I happen to be stationed.
-You read them all?
-Yeah.
They'd also make great insulation
against an enemy attack.
But the, uh, truth of the matter is
that I'm just interested, you know,
in, uh, The Principles of Modern Banking,
and History of Piracy,
Paintings of Orozco,
Modern French Theater,
The Jurisprudential Factor
of Mafia Administration,
Diseases of Horses,
the novels of Joyce Cary and
Ethnic choices of the
Arabs things like that.
-Ben.
-Sir.
The Army's got a lot of things wrong with
it, but it does take
care of its own people.
Which is why I'm here.
As a public relations officer,
you're a disaster.
I never wanted the jo
Apparently, among other things,
you permitted the secretary
to make a number of unfortunate remarks
to that idiot Iselin,
which started him off on a rampage.
Mickey, listen to me, please.
For the last six months
I've been driven nearly
out of my mind by this
same recurring dream.
The medical officer in charge offered
What the hell does the medical corps
know about intelligence work, Milt?
I tell you,
there's something phony going on.
There's something phony about me,
about Raymond Shaw,
about the whole Medal of Honor business.
For instance,
when the psychiatrist asked me
how I felt about Raymond Shaw,
how I personally felt about him,
and how the whole patrol felt about him,
did you hear what I said?
Did you really hear what I said?
I said, Raymond Shaw
is the kindest, warmest, bravest,
most wonderful human being
I have ever known in my life.
And even now I feel that way, this minute.
And yet somewhere in the back of my mind,
something tells me it's not true.
It's just not true.
It isn't as if Raymond's hard to like.
He's impossible to like.
In fact, he's probably one of
the most repulsive human beings
I've ever known in my whole
all of my life.
Ben, what I came to tell you is, public
relations has bounced you back to me.
And in your present state
there's no possible way I can use you.
As of this moment,
I'm placing you on indefinite sick leave.
Go away, Ben.
Find yourself a girl. Lie in the sun.
I absolutely refuse.
You don't seem to understand.
What I've just told you
is not a suggestion, Major.
It is an order.
Yes, sir.
Good night, Ben.
[SIGHS]
-Do you mind if I smoke?
-Not at all. Please do.
Maryland's a beautiful state.
-This is Delaware.
-I know.
I was one of the original Chinese workmen
who laid the track on this stretch.
But, um, nonetheless,
Maryland is a beautiful state.
So is Ohio, for that matter.
I guess so.
Columbus is a tremendous football town.
-You in the railroad business?
-Not anymore.
However, if you will permit me
to point out,
when you ask that question,
you really should say,
"Are you in the railroad line?"
Where's your home?
I'm in the Army. I'm a major.
I've been in the Army most of my life.
We move a good deal.
[SIGHS] I was born in New Hampshire.
I went to a girls' camp once
on Lake Francis.
That's pretty far north.
Yeah.
What's your name?
Eugenie.
Pardon?
No kidding. I really mean it.
Crazy French pronunciation and all.
-It's pretty.
-Well, thank you.
I guess your friends call you Jennie?
Not yet, they haven't,
for which I am deeply grateful.
But you may call me Jennie.
What do your friends call you?
Rosie.
Why?
My full name is Eugenie Rose.
Of the two names,
I've always favored Rosie
because it smells of brown soap and beer.
Eugenie is somehow more fragile.
Still, when I asked you what your
name was, you said it was Eugenie.
It's quite possible I was feeling
more or less fragile at that instant.
I could never figure out
what that phrase meant, "more or less."
-Are you Arabic?
-No.
My name is Ben.
It's really Bennett.
I was named after Arnold Bennett.
-The writer?
-No.
A lieutenant colonel.
He was my father's
commanding officer at the time.
-What's your last name?
-Marco.
Major Marco.
Are you Arabic?
No. No.
Let me put it another way.
Are you married?
No.
-You?
-No.
-What's your last name?
-Cheyney.
I'm production assistant
for a man named Justin
who had two hits last season.
I live on 54th Street,
a few doors from the Modern Museum of Art,
of which I am
a tea-privileges member, no cream.
I live at 53 West 54th Street.
Apartment 3B.
Can you remember that?
Yes.
Eldorado 5-9970.
Can you remember that?
Yes.
Are you stationed in New York?
[SIGHS] Or is "stationed" the right word?
I'm not exactly stationed in New York.
I was stationed in Washington.
But I got sick
and now I'm on leave
and I'm gonna s-spend it in New York.
Eldorado 5-9970.
I'm gonna look up an old friend of mine
who's a newspaper man.
We were in Korea together.
Mr. Shaw, there's a gentleman
outside to see you.
-A gentleman?
-An Oriental gentleman, sir.
He said he was in the Army with you.
There were no Oriental gentlemen
in the Army with me.
He is very insistent, sir.
All right, all right, show him in.
I am Chunjin, Mr. Shaw, sir.
I was interpreter attached
to Charlie Company,
52nd Regiment.
Yes, I remember you.
You were the guide
and interpreter to the patrol.
Yes, sir, Mr. Shaw.
What can I do for you?
I mean to say, what are you doing here?
Your father did not say to you?
-My father?
-Yes.
Senator Iselin.
I Senator Iselin is not my father.
Repeat: He is not my father.
If you learn nothing else on your visit
to this country, memorize that fact.
I write to Senator Iselin.
I tell him how I interpret your outfit.
I tell him I want to come to America.
He get me visa.
Now I need job.
A job?
Yes, sir, Mr. Shaw.
But, my dear fellow,
we don't need interpreters here.
We all speak the same language.
I am tailor and mender.
I am cook. I drive car.
I am cleaner and scrubber.
I fix anything. I take message.
I sleep at house of my cousin.
I ask for job with you
because you are great man
who save my life.
I could use a valet, I think.
And I would like having a cook.
A good cook, I mean.
Very well. You can live at your cousin's.
I will pay you $60 a week.
You will have every Thursday
and every other Sunday off.
Thank you, Mr. Shaw.
I'm leaving for Washington
in a few minutes.
I'll be back here this evening by 8:30.
I would like to have dinner waiting.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, Mr. Shaw.
Just like United State Army.
Oh, God, I hope not.
MOTHER: You're going to be perfectly
marvelous in there this afternoon, hon.
I just know you are.
[LIQUID POURS]
Yeah.
There's just one thing, babe.
I'd be a lot happier
if we could just settle
on the number of Communists
I know there are
in the Defense Department.
[SCOFFS]
I mean, the way you keep changing
the figures on me all the time,
it makes me look like
some kind of a nut, I-like an idiot.
The boys are even startin'
to kid me about it.
Why, just yesterday, in the cloakroom
they said, "Hey, Johnny"
Well, you're going to look like
an even bigger idiot
if you don't get in there
and do exactly what you're told.
Babe.
Who are they writing
about all over this country?
And what are they saying?
Are they saying, Are there any Communists
in the Defense Department?
Of course not.
They're saying, How many Communists
are there in the Defense Department?
So just stop talking like an expert
all of a sudden
and get out there and say
what you're supposed to say.
Aw, come on, babe, I I'm sorry, hon.
Would it really make it easier for you
if we settled on just one number?
Yeah.
Just one real simple number
that'd be easy for me to remember.
There are exactly 57
card-carrying members
-of the Communist Party
-[SENATORS MURMURING, GRUMBLING]
In the Department of Defense at this time.
[SENATORS SHOUTING]
Point of order, Mr. Speaker.
Point of order, if you please.
[BUZZES]
What was Raymond doing with his hands?
[CHUNJIN GRUNTING]
How did the old ladies turn into Russians?
[SHOUTS, GRUNTING]
[CHUNJIN SHOUTS]
What was Raymond doing with his hands?
[GROANING]
How did the old ladies turn into Russians?
What was Raymond doing with his hands?
-[GROANING CONTINUES]
-What were you doing there?
-What was Raymond doing with his hands?
-[CHUNJIN SCREAMING]
What were you doing there?
Get away What were you doing there?
Well, I must say it was original of you
to have the police department
call so shyly and ask for our first date.
Well, they asked me who
would who I'd be willing to ca
-I know.
-[ROTARY PHONE DIALING]
And thank you.
-Thank you very much.
-Bueno.
[MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]
S. Uh-huh. [LAUGHS]
Okay. Uh-huh.
I've got to find Raymond.
Maybe he's home by now.
All right, darling. Whatever you want.
But first, I have something to tell you.
You know what I was doing when
you so cleverly had the police call me?
Don't bother trying to guess.
You're too tired.
I'll tell you what I was doing.
After I dropped you off,
I went straight home,
and when I got upstairs
-Apartment 3B.
-That's right.
Very good.
Before I even took my coat off,
I telephoned my fianc.
I told you I wasn't married.
I never said I wasn't engaged.
Well, I called up my fianc
and he came over as soon as he could,
which was instantly,
and I told him I had just met you,
and I gave him his ring back.
I tried to convey my regrets
for whatever pain I might be causing him,
and then, just then,
you had the police call to invite me
to meet you at the 24th Precinct.
So I grabbed my coat,
kissed my fianc on the cheek for the
last time in our lives we would ever kiss,
and I ran.
At the police station,
they told me you had
just beaten up a very
large Chinese gentleman.
Not Chinese, dear. Korean.
At least I think he was Korean.
A very large Korean gentleman.
But that you were a pretty solid type
yourself, according to Washington,
with whom they had apparently checked.
So I figured if they were
willing to go to all the trouble
to get a comment on you
out of George Washington,
why, you must be somebody
very important indeed.
And I must say it was rather sweet
of the general, with you only a major.
I didn't even know you knew him.
If they were the tiniest bit puzzled
about you, they could've asked me.
Oh, yes, indeed, my darling Ben,
they could've asked me,
and I would've told them.
-Hi, kid.
-What in the hell's going on?
They called me in Washington to tell me
that you'd broken into my apartment
and beaten up my houseboy.
Yeah, well, uh, you see, Chunjin, when I
My God, you look terrible.
I mean, I've never seen you look so awful.
Yeah.
Raymond, uh,
I want to tell you that I been
having this terrible nightmare.
I've been in the Army 19 years.
First time I've ever seen one of these.
I've been havin' this nightmare.
A real swinger of a nightmare too.
It has to do with, uh,
all kinds of strange people.
Is it about a Russian general
and some Chinese
and me and the men who were on the patrol?
How did you know that? How do you know?
Take your hands off me.
Please, Raymond.
Tell me. How did you know?
I don't really know
anything about it at all.
But you just started to tell
me You remember Al Melvin?
-The corporal in the patrol?
-Yes, of course.
Well, I had a letter from him
a couple of weeks ago.
Needless to say,
I was very surprised to hear from him.
You know how much the guys
in the outfit hated me.
Not as much as I hated them, of course.
Well, anyway, the funny thing was,
he said in his letter that I was
the best friend he had in the Army.
I was the best friend he had in the Army.
[SCOFFS] Why, the poor, simple boob.
Anyway, that's what he wanted to tell me
about his nightmare.
-He said he was going out of his mind.
-Raymond.
Tell me what he said about the nightmare.
Well, he keeps dreaming that the patrol is
all sitting together in this hotel lobby,
and there are a lot of Chinese brass
and Russian generals and I don't know.
Anyway, what's so much
of a nightmare about that?
The letter. Have you got the letter?
No, I don't. I never keep letters.
That's all he wrote?
That was the end of it?
Why? Is it the same thing
that you've been dreaming?
Raymond, do something for me, will you?
Call Eldorado 5-9970.
If a young lady answers, and she will,
tell her I've gone to Washington.
The town, not the general.
Tell her I'll be in touch with her
as quickly as I can.
You'll do that, won't you?
Eldorado 5-9970.
To take some of the mystery
out of it, Major,
the photographs you're looking at
are shots of male models,
Mexican circus performers,
Czech research chemists,
Japanese criminals, French headwaiters,
Turkish wrestlers, pastoral psychiatrists
and, of course, various officials of the
USSR, the People's Republic of China
and the Soviet Army.
-Hold the one on the right, please.
-Hold that one.
Hold this one too, please.
Exactly one hour ago,
your friend, Mr. Alan Melvin,
in Wainright, Alaska,
made the same two photographs.
This one here wore sunglasses.
Smelled like a goat.
His mustache was a little thinner then.
He had a loud voice and it grated.
He's about 5'11," on the heavy side.
Uniformed as a lieutenant general.
His staff were dressed
in civilian clothes.
They looked a little like FBI men.
His name, incidentally, is Berezovo.
He's a member of the central committee.
This one was dressed in civilian clothes,
but his staff was uniformed,
bearing from a full colonel
to a first lieutenant.
They wore political markings.
Lights.
All right, Ben.
I'm going to recommend setting up
a joint intelligence CIA-FBI unit
based out of New York.
You'll work with them,
representing the Army.
-Your assignment's Raymond Shaw.
-Very good, Colonel.
Should be a very pleasant
assignment, Major,
considering that Raymond Shaw
is the kindest, bravest, warmest,
most wonderful human being
you've ever met in your life.
My mother, Ben, is a terrible woman.
A terrible, terrible woman.
Chunjin. We would like some more wine.
[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER]
Chunjin!
Oh, I forgot.
After you called,
I I gave Chunjin the night off.
WOMAN: On the first day of Christmas
Because it was Christmas Eve, I told him.
He was very reluctant to go.
A partridge in a pear tree
That's probably because he's a Buddhist
and he doesn't celebrate Christmas.
Uh-uh.
I don't think that Chunjin is a Buddhist.
Well, he smiles all the time.
Oh, what a shame.
I thought he was a Buddhist.
Otherwise I would have sent him
a Christmas card.
But I figured
that if I sent him a card
at this time of the year
then he would have to send me
a card on the Buddha's birthday.
-To save face, right?
-Oh, right.
And that would have started
a whole big megillah.
-Exactly.
-All right.
That's what
You did exactly the right thing.
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
Twelve days of Christmas.
One day of Christmas is loathsome enough.
[MUSIC STOPS]
What were we saying? Oh, yes, my mother.
Oh, but you don't want to sit there,
listening to me talking about my mother.
Of course I do. I'm interested.
It's rather like listening to Orestes
gripe about Clytemnestra.
-Who?
-Greeks.
-A couple of Greeks in a play.
-Oh.
Well, you know, Ben,
it's a terrible thing to hate your mother.
But I didn't always hate her.
No. When I was a child,
I I only kind of disliked her.
But after what she did to Jocie and me,
that's when I began to hate her.
Jocie?
Jocie Jordan.
-Senator Jordan's daughter.
-Hmm.
That's pretty funny, isn't it?
Thomas Jordan's daughter
and Johnny Iselin's stepson.
That's her.
Jocie.
-She's lovely.
-I always keep her picture.
Years later, I realized, Ben,
that I am not very lovable.
No, no, don't contradict me.
I am not lovable.
Some people are lovable,
and other people are not lovable.
I am not lovable.
Oh, but I was very lovable with Jocie.
Ben, you cannot believe how lovable I was.
In a way.
And, of course, my mother fixed all that.
Ben, you don't blame me
for hating my mother, do you?
I'm not making excuses,
but I have been even less lovable
than I was since.
It was the summer
just before I went into the Army.
And I was bitten by this snake.
Are you following me?
I am.
Well, while I was lying there,
absolutely helpless,
afraid to move
because you're not supposed to move.
It-It makes the poison circulate.
When unexpectedly,
there she was with a razor blade
in her hand.
My daddy's going to be
so pleased about this.
I mean, he's just absolutely scared tiddly
about snakes in this part of the country.
I know that sounds
terribly Freudian and everything,
but in this case, I don't think it is.
I mean, I think he's just simply and
uncomplicatedly afraid of snakes, period.
Which is why I happen to be
riding around with a razor blade
and a bottle of
potassium permanganate solution.
You don't happen to have
a handkerchief, do you?
Oh, no, of course you don't.
Well, I don't either.
I do have a Kleenex, but Oh, well.
Seriously, Daddy is going
to be just thrilled about this.
All summer long he's been raving about
snakes, and nobody's even seen one.
And now this. [CHUCKLES]
I promise you one thing.
It may be a little uncomfortable for you.
But it's going to absolutely
make his summer.
Now you just lie very still. Don't move.
That's very important.
I'll be right back with
the car in a minute.
You're lucky, young man, very lucky.
If I were to tell you the statistics
on death by snakebite every year
But in this case, I I think
Oh, there's no swelling above or below.
Hmm.
Normal.
Well, I must say, there's a good chance
you're going to live.
You are not, by any chance,
a mute, are you?
[LAUGHING]
-No, sir.
-Oh. Well.
I want to thank you very much, Miss Miss
-Jordan.
-Miss Jocelyn Jordan.
-How do you do?
-Hi.
And now, according
to the quaint local custom,
it's your turn to tell us
what your name is.
My name is Raymond Shaw, sir.
How do you do, Raymond?
Is your place near here, Raymond?
Yes. It's that red house
just across the lake.
-The Iselin house?
-My house.
It was my father's.
My father's dead. He left it to me.
We were told that that was
the summer camp of Senator Iselin.
Johnny stays there sometimes, sir.
When he gets too drunk for my mother
to allow him to be seen in Washington.
My dear, although we've done everything
that modern science recommends,
there is still the traditional folk remedy
against snakebite
which we haven't applied,
so to be on the safe side
Mrs. Iselin is your mother?
Yes, sir.
I once found it necessary
to sue your mother
for defamation of character and slander.
My name is Thomas Jordan.
Senator Thomas Jordan.
The Communist?
Well, one of your mother's
more endearing traits
is her tendency to refer to anyone
who disagrees with her about anything
as a Communist.
The last time she so referred to me
on a network radio program,
it cost her $65,000 and court costs.
What hurt her more than the money,
I think,
was the fact that I donated all of it
to an organization
called the American Civil Liberties Union.
Senator Jordan?
Yes, Raymond.
I would very much like to ask
your permission, sir, to marry Jocelyn.
[LAUGHING]
We were together every minute after that.
You just cannot believe, Ben,
how lovable the whole damn thing was.
All summer long we were together.
I was lovable.
Jocie was lovable.
The senator was lovable.
The days were lovable,
the nights were lovable.
And everybody was lovable
except, of course, my mother.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Raymond?
What is it, Mother?
What sort of a greeting is that
at 3:30 in the morning?
It's a quarter to 3:00,
and what do you want?
I want to talk to you, Raymond.
About what?
I would like to talk to you
about that Communist tart.
Shut up with that, Mother! Shut up!
Do you know what Jordan is?
Are you out to crucify
me, to crucify Johnny?
I don't know what you're talking about,
and I don't want to know.
-I'm going to bed.
-Raymond.
Sit down.
How would you see her?
They live in New York.
I'm getting a job in New York.
You have your Army service.
Next spring.
I might be dead by next spring.
Raymond, if we were at war
and you were suddenly to become infatuated
with the daughter of a Russian agent,
wouldn't you expect me
to come to you and object
and beg you to stop the entire thing
before it was too late?
Well, we are at war.
It's a cold war,
but it will get worse and worse
until every man, woman and child
in this country
will have to stand up and be counted
and say whether they are on the side
of right and freedom
or on the side of the Thomas Jordans
of this country.
I will go with you to Washington.
Tomorrow, if you like.
And I will show you documented proof
that this man stands for evil,
that he is evil
and that his whole life was devoted
to undermining everything
that you and I and Johnny
-and every freedom-minded American
-She won, of course.
She always does.
I could never beat her.
I still can't.
I wrote a letter.
Or she wrote it and I signed it.
I-I can't even remember which.
It was a terrible,
vile, disgusting letter.
The next day I enlisted in the Army
and I never saw her again.
God knows, Ben, I
I'm not lovable,
but I loved her.
I did love her.
I do love her.
Come on, kid.
It's time for you to call it a night.
Come on.
So this lousy
brother-in-law of mine, I say
to him, "You think you're a poker player?
Well, I got a flash for you.
You ain't no poker player."
So I says to him,
"My advice to you,
from the bottom of the heart
"Don't play poker."
"If I was you, I'd get myself
another line of action."
Why don't you pass the time
by playing a little solitaire?"
-So he says to me
-I need a deck of cards, please.
When I get married to my old lady,
I got no idea that this guy comes
in the same package,
that it's a package deal.
And for 11 long years,
I got this crumb tied around my neck.
And believe me, it's no bargain.
You got no idea what kind
of a problem I got with this guy.
Beer, please. Sorry I'm late, kid.
Got held up in traffic, you know?
So, I says to him,
"Please, do me a favor, will you?
Why don't you go and take yourself a cab
and go up to Central Park
and go jump in the lake?"
[MEN LAUGHING]
Hey. Raymond!
Hey.
Raymond.
Get out of there.
What are you doing?
-Hi, Ben.
-What the hell are you doing?
What's the matter with you?
I don't know.
I was standing next to you at the bar,
and you were playing a game of solitaire.
Do you remember that?
Then you bolted out of the bar,
jumped in a cab, drove up here to the park
and jumped into the water.
I don't remember, Ben.
I just don't remember.
Wait a minute. I do. I remember.
In the dream.
I remember what you were doing
with your hands.
You were Of course.
Obviously the solitaire game serves
as some kind of trigger mechanism.
Black seven on the red eight.
I suggest we discard the various number
systems and concentrate on the face cards.
-Red six on the black seven.
-Thanks a lot.
Because of their symbolic identification
with human beings.
Based on Raymond's psychiatric pattern,
I think we can safely eliminate
jacks and kings.
Black six on the red seven.
Why don't you try it for a while?
Human fish swimming at the bottom
of the great ocean of atmosphere
develop psychic injuries
as they collide with one another.
Most mortal of all
are those gotten from the parent fish.
Queen of diamonds on the black king.
Hey, what are you doing?
To cheat at solitaire
is a form of regression that
I remember.
I can see that Chinese cat
standin' there smilin' like Fu Manchu
and saying,
"The queen of diamonds
is reminiscent in many ways
"of Raymond's dearly
loved and hated mother"
"and is the second key
to clear the mechanism"
for any other assignment."
Yeah.
"our great republic repeat 'republic'
until the peril of international Communism
is driven
from every dark corner
of this great nation."
Getting a little Chucky on the chin.
You know what I mean?
You know, hon, I can't tell you
how worried I am about Raymond.
Raymond? What Raymond?
Raymond Shaw. My son. Your stepson.
I've been thinking about him a great deal
lately, and you know what I've decided?
-No.
-I've decided it's time he got married.
Hmm. [LAUGHING]
May I ask what you find so amusing?
Who could you possibly find
who would marry Raymond?
I have devoted considerable thought
to the problem,
and it has occurred to me
that Tom Jordan's daughter Jocelyn
You remember her, hon?
That mousy little girl Raymond was
so attracted to that summer at the lake.
Oh, yeah, that little Communist tart?
-All right.
-[LAUGHING]
-So I might have been a little bit hasty.
-A little in the hairline here.
Anyway, times change. I now think she
would make Raymond an excellent wife.
She's been living in Paris
for the past two years.
I have word she'll be coming home soon.
And when she does,
I think we should give a little party.
But, babe, I thought
that you and Senator Jordan
I keep telling you not to think.
You're very, very good
at a great many things,
but thinking, hon,
just simply isn't one of them.
You just keep shouting, "Point of order,
point of order" into
the television cameras,
and I'll handle the rest.
Jimmy. Bourbon and water.
I think a June wedding would be nice,
right before the convention.
Raymond, I don't know why yours
is the only apartment in New York City
without an air conditioner.
Sometimes I think you came to us
from another century.
Chu Chin Chow, or whatever your name is,
the steaks are to be broiled
for exactly 11 minutes.
No more, no less, on each side
in a preheated grill at 400 degrees.
Yes, ma'am.
-Raymond?
-Mother?
-May I ask a question?
-Of course.
What are you doing here?
I mean, why are we having
our annual meeting?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, when I got your message
announcing that you were coming to lunch,
I naturally assumed it was
because you wanted something.
Not at all. This is a purely social event.
-However
-Ah.
The "however."
As you may or may not have heard,
Johnny and I are giving an enormous party.
A costume ball, actually,
at the summer house on Long Island.
I wondered if you'd like to attend.
Have you gone out of your mind?
The reason I ask is because we're giving
it in honor of an old friend of yours
and her father.
What old friend?
Do you remember a darling girl we met
the summer before you went into the Army
Jocelyn Jordan, Senator Jordan's daughter?
Well, she's been living abroad
for the last several years.
She arrived back in New York
a week or so ago.
And I thought,
considering the rather shabby way
you treated her,
it might be a rather gracious gesture
if I gave her a coming home party.
Jocie and her father
Coming to a party of yours?
Of course.
Once I explained to her
you would be there.
[BIG BAND PLAYING UP-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC]
-It's all right. It's Polish caviar.
-[LAUGHING]
-Johnny? Come over here, hon.
-Hmm?
Come on, get a picture. Quick.
You stand in the middle.
-Great. You look marvelous.
-Thank you. See you later.
-Where is she? Have they come?
-They'll be here any minute.
Are you sure they're coming, Mother?
Are you absolutely sure?
Oh, Raymond, don't be such a jerk.
Go and get yourself a drink
or a tranquilizer or something.
Raymond can certainly be a royal pain.
Ah, she's just kiddin'.
Ray, you look great. Look just great.
What are What are you supposed to be,
one of those Dutch skaters?
[MEN LAUGHING]
Raymond, darling.
Raymond, dear, why do you
always have to look
as if your head's just about
to come to a point?
Now just be patient, and she'll be here.
I guarantee it.
Raymond, why don't we just
sneak away for a few minutes
and sit down somewhere quietly
and have a drink?
RAYMOND: Are you absolutely sure
she's coming, Mother?
MOTHER: I told you, she telephoned me
20 minutes ago from the hotel.
Mother Mother, how did she sound?
Like a girl.
Raymond.
Why don't you pass the time
by playing a little solitaire?
Tom!
Oh, Tom. Oh, Tom, boy.
Tom boy, so great you could come.
I am here at this fascist rally
because my daughter has assured me
that it was important to her happiness
that I come.
There is no other reason.
[CHORTLING] Good old Tom.
Raymond?
The time has come for us
to have a serious discussion.
-We feel
-[KNOCKING]
-What is it?
-It's me, babe. Johnny.
Tom Jordan's here. I need you.
I'll be right out.
-Who's in there with you, anyway?
-Raymond.
Well, hurry it up, will you?
We've got work to do out here.
I'll take this one with me, dear.
It might be mischief if I leave it.
Yes, Mother.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
[BIG BAND PLAYING BALLAD]
I've been watching you through the window.
When I saw you,
my heart almost shot out of my body.
I sent Daddy around the front way.
I had to see you alone.
Jocie.
[PARTYGOERS APPLAUDING]
Oh, Jocie.
-[BIG BAND PLAYING UP-TEMPO MUSIC]
-[LAUGHING]
MAN: He's got it!
[ALL LAUGHING]
Thank you.
Come on, lover.
Why don't you just take that somewhere
very quietly and drink it?
But, babe, I
All right, dear. Run along.
The grown-ups have to talk.
Huh?
How good of you to come, Tom.
I have explained to your husband
why I am here.
Tom, I know you have
very strong personal feelings
about Johnny and about me.
What I would like to find out
is how strong they really are.
To put it as simply as possible,
if Johnny's name were put forward
at the convention next week,
would you attempt to block him?
You're joking, of course.
Mr. Stevenson makes jokes. I do not.
You're seriously trying
for the nomination for Johnny?
No. We couldn't make it.
But I think he has a good chance
for the second spot.
I've answered your question,
but you haven't answered mine.
-What question?
-Will you block us?
Will I block you?
I would spend every cent I own
and all I could borrow to block you.
There are people who think of Johnny
as a clown and a buffoon,
but I do not.
I despise John Iselin and everything
that Iselinism has come to stand for.
I think if John Iselin
were a paid Soviet agent,
he could not do more to harm this country
than he is doing now.
You asked me a question.
Very well. I'll answer you.
If you attempt to deal with the delegates
or cause Johnny's name
to be brought forward on the ticket,
or if in my canvass of the delegates
tomorrow morning by telephone
I find that you are so acting,
I will bring impeachment proceedings
against your husband
on the floor of the United States Senate.
And I will hit him, I promise you,
with everything
in my well-documented book.
For one million bucks, pick a card.
Oh, Bennie, card tricks.
If I had known that
Oh, come on. Pick a card.
The queen of diamonds.
That's pretty good. How did you do that?
[SHUFFLING DECK]
This is what is known, my dear girl,
as a forced deck.
This deck of cards is often employed
by a professional magician
to simplify his problem
of guessing the card
picked by the little old lady
in the third row.
Also employed
by Army Intelligence officers who
-Rosie?
-Hmm?
Let's get married.
We certainly are in good spirits
tonight, aren't we?
Yes, we are.
Tomorrow's the big day.
Lunch with Raymond,
have a nice little game of solitaire
and a nice long chat
about the good old days in Korea.
And some old Chinese
and Russian friends of ours.
Then a suggestion or two
that'll rip out all of the wiring.
And then, dear girl, it's over. All over.
-What's the matter? Don't you want to?
-Want to what?
Get married. Why don't you pay attention
to me when I speak to you?
Oh, Bennie, I want to marry you more
than I want to go on eating Italian food,
which will give you some idea.
Well, then why don't we
get with it, kiddo?
You know, arranging for the papers,
for the blood test,
posting the banns,
figure out what we're gonna name the kids,
renting the rice, buy the ring,
call the folks.
Folks?
-You neither?
-Mm-mmm.
-Orphan?
-Uh-huh.
I used to be convinced that as a baby
I was the soul survivor of a spaceship
that overshot Mars.
Very sexy stuff.
Very, very sexy.
[DOOR CLOSES]
-Ben.
-Hello, Raymond.
Ben, I want I want you to meet Jocie.
Remember, I told you about her?
Uh, this is my friend, Major Ben Marco.
-Miss Jordan.
-How do you do, Major?
Only it's not Miss Jordan anymore,
it's Mrs. Shaw.
-Mrs. Raymond Shaw.
-We flew to Maryland last night.
We got married. We just got back.
Well, aren't you going to pop champagne,
or dance in the streets,
or, well, at least kiss the bride?
-Congratulations, Mrs. Shaw.
-Thank you, Major.
My God, Ben, isn't she beautiful though?
Isn't she?
And am I not the
luckiest guy in the world?
I mean, the whole world?
You don't have to answer that, Major.
Anyway, I'm the one who's lucky.
-Raymond.
-RAYMOND: Listen, darling.
There must be some beer
or champagne or penicillin eye drops
or some anchovies in the ice box.
Crack open whatever it is. The three of
us, we've absolutely got to have a drink.
Come on, bustle. Make like a housewife.
I'll get out of this idiot suit.
Ben. Ben you should've seen
the judge's face.
There we were, the queen of diamonds
and me looking like
I don't know, like "Gaucho" Marx.
Gaucho Marx?
Ben? Ben, I just made a joke.
Not a very good joke, I admit, but a joke.
Ben, in all the years that you've known
me, have you ever heard me make a joke?
Well, I just made one. Gaucho Marx.
Me. Ha.
Big day. Mark that down in your book.
Raymond Shaw got married,
and he made a joke.
Gaucho Marx.
[DOOR CLOSES]
The queen of diamonds?
What did he mean, the queen of diamonds?
My costume. I came to this costume party
as the queen of diamonds.
I couldn't think what
to wear, then I saw this
big playing card in a shop window on 67th
-Mrs. Shaw.
-Oh, please, Major. Jocie.
You call me Jocie, I'll call you Ben.
Mrs. Shaw Jocie,
the reason I came here
this morning is to ask
Raymond to voluntarily
put himself under arrest.
What?
Well, maybe not under arrest.
That's pretty strong.
But to surrender himself
for some questioning.
Questioning? What kind of questioning?
Raymond is sick, Mrs. Shaw,
in a kind of a special way.
-He doesn't even realize it himself.
-Sick? He's not sick.
He's the healthiest man
I've ever seen in my whole life.
You can tell that by just looking at him.
That's not the kind of sick I mean.
Oh, you're wrong, Ben.
You're wrong.
He's tied up inside
in a thousand knots. I know that.
But you can see for yourself
how he is with me.
Oh, God.
Ben, we were married just six hours ago.
We've been in cars and offices
and airplanes ever since.
What were your What are your plans?
Well, there's an inn,
Bedford House, near Bedford Village.
It's about an hour from here.
There's hardly anyone there
this early in the season.
We've already wired for a room.
Ben, you've got to
believe me and trust me.
I can make him well.
I'll give you 48 hours.
You have him back here day after tomorrow.
I'll talk to him then.
After that, we'll see.
Oh, thank you, Ben.
Thank you and God bless you.
Darling.
What?
Nothing.
Just darling.
JOCIE: Mmm.
My dear girl,
have you noticed
that the human race is divided
into two distinct
and irreconcilable groups?
Those who walk into rooms
and automatically turn television sets on,
and those who walk into rooms
and automatically turn them off.
[LAUGHS]
You know, the problem is,
they usually marry each other,
which naturally causes a great deal
The elopement of Jocelyn Jordan,
daughter of Senator Thomas Jordan,
and Korean war hero Raymond Shaw,
stepson of Senator John Iselin.
-It appears, however
-My Romeo.
That this Montague-Capulet note
will have little effect on the feud
now raging between the two party leaders.
From his campaign headquarters
this morning,
Senator Iselin stepped up his charges
against the leader of the group
attempting to block his nomination.
I now charge this man, Thomas Jordan,
with high treason.
And I assure you,
the moment the Senate reconvenes,
I shall move for this man Jordan's
impeachment!
And after that, a civil trial.
Come on. Get dressed.
We're driving down to New York.
Go straight to your father's house.
Please convey my
personal apologies to him.
I'll join you there later.
What are you going to do?
that Thomas Jordan represents
Something I should've done
a long time ago.
I'm going to beat that vile, slandering
son of a numskull to a bloody pulp!
Mother!
That vile, slandering husband of yours!
Where is he?
Darling, something very
important has come up.
There is something you have to do.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
-Who is it?
-It's me, sir.
-Raymond, my boy!
Jocie waited up as long as she could.
She turned in about a quarter to 2:00.
She told me the good news.
-Raymond?
-Yes, sir.
I want to offer my congratulations
and welcome you to the family.
I've been watching
my daughter's face all evening.
She's a very happy girl.
-Thank you, sir.
-Come with me.
I'll force some good whiskey on you
to celebrate your wedding,
soothe you after a trying day,
any number of good reasons.
There's some whiskey
in that cabinet beside you.
Help yourself.
I only hope you haven't been too much
upset by these idiotic attacks of Iselin.
Actually, I take the position that
any attack by Iselin is a great honor.
Actually, I haven't had so much
supporting mail in the Senate
in the last 22 years.
I'm very glad to hear that, sir.
What the hell is that in your hand?
It's a pistol, sir.
Is that a silencer?
Yes, sir.
Why are you carrying a pistol?
-Raymond, what are you
-[SILENCED GUNSHOT]
-Daddy, what is it?
-[GUNSHOT]
Raymond, no! Raymond, darling.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Ben?
[DOOR CLOSES]
Ben, what is it?
Raymond Shaw shot and killed his wife
early this morning.
-But it it doesn't say
-I know.
It wasn't Raymond that really did it.
In a way, it was me.
As you can well understand, gentlemen,
my my wife is prostrate over the loss
of this dear and wonderful girl
whom she loved as a daughter.
And your stepson, Senator, where is he?
My My son Raymond's in retreat,
praying for strength, understanding
to to try and carry on somehow.
[PHONE RINGS]
Ben, it's for you.
Major Marco speaking.
Ben?
Hi, kid.
How could anyone Jocie.
-How could it happen?
-Where are you, Raymond?
I I think maybe I'm going crazy.
I'm having terrible dreams
like you used to have and
Where are you, Raymond?
We can't talk on the telephone.
Just tell me where you are.
Uh I I'm in a hotel room
across from the Garden.
Eighth Avenue side.
Room 4.
All right. Now listen to me.
Just wait right there.
I'll be there in ten minutes.
Don't move. Just wait right there.
Okay, I'll take him now.
Everything's got to move quite normally.
Now, I want him to feel like he's safe.
Just give me a pack of cards.
MAN: What do you know?
They just handed the vice presidential
nomination to that idiot Iselin.
Oh.
[LOCK SLIDES]
Hi, kid.
Who killed Jocie, Ben?
Tell me. I I've got to know.
How about passing the time
by playing a little solitaire?
All right.
Now let's start unlocking a few doors.
Let's begin with the patrol.
You didn't save our lives
and take out an enemy company
or anything like that, did you, Raymond?
Did you?
-No.
-What happened?
The patrol was taken
by a Russian airborne unit
and flown by helicopter
across the Manchurian border
to a place called Tonghua.
We were worked on for three days
by a team of specialists
from the Pavlov institute in Moscow.
They've developed a technique
for descent into the unconscious mind
part light-induced and part drug.
Never mind all that. Not now.
Tell me what else happened at Tonghua.
We were drilled for three days.
We were made to memorize
the details of the imaginary action.
What else?
And I strangled Ed Mavole
and shot Bobby Lembeck.
One red queen works pretty good.
Let's see what we get with two of 'em.
Keep playing.
Then I killed Mr. Gaines.
It was just a test.
It didn't matter who I killed.
They picked him to see
if all the linkages still worked
before they turned me over
to my American operator.
And that business
about jumping in the lake?
It really did happen.
It was an accident.
Something somebody said in the bar
accidentally triggered it.
Keep playing.
Then I killed Senator Jordan
and after that, I
You are to forget everything that happened
at the senator's house.
Do you understand, Raymond?
You'll only remember it
when I tell you so.
You are to forget about it.
Do you understand?
Yes, sir.
Now, Raymond, now the big one.
Why Why is all of this being done?
What have they built you to do?
I don't know.
I don't think anybody really knows
except Berezovo in Moscow
and my American operator here.
Well, whatever it is,
it's supposed to happen soon.
Right at the convention.
Maybe it
I don't know.
They can make me do anything,
Ben, can't they?
Anything.
We'll see, kid.
We'll see what they can do
and we'll see what we can do.
So the red queen is our baby.
Well, take a look at this, kid.
Fifty-two of them.
Take a good look at 'em, Raymond.
Look at 'em.
And while you're looking, listen.
This is me, Marco, talking.
Fifty-two red queens and me
are telling you.
You know what we're telling you?
It's over.
The links, their beautifully
conditioned links are smashed.
They're smashed as of now
because we say so,
because we say they are to be smashed.
We're bustin' up the joint.
We're tearing out all the wires.
We're busting it up so good,
all the queen's horses
and all the queen's men
will never put old Raymond
back together again.
You don't work anymore.
That's an order.
Anybody invites you
to a game of solitaire,
you tell 'em, "Sorry, buster.
The ball game is over."
[PHONE RINGING]
[RINGING CONTINUES]
It's time for my American operator
to give me the plan.
Yes?
Yes, I understand, Mother.
She wants me to go.
There's a car waiting for me downstairs.
The convention's adjourned. It reconvenes
at 9:00 for the acceptance speeches.
I don't think anything
will happen until then.
I'd better go now.
Here's a number.
I've got 500 people at my disposal,
a thousand if I need them.
You call me at that number.
Try to call me by 8:30.
Or as soon as you find out
whatever it is they want you to do.
I'll be waiting.
Yes, sir.
Raymond.
Remember, Raymond,
the wires have been pulled.
They can't touch you anymore.
You're free.
[DOOR CLOSES]
It's been decided that you
will be dressed as a priest
to help you get away
in the pandemonium afterwards.
Chunjin will give you a two-piece
Soviet Army sniper's rifle
that fits nicely into a special bag.
There's a spotlight booth
that won't be in use.
It's up under the roof
on the Eighth Avenue side of the Garden.
You will have absolutely clear,
protected shooting.
You are to shoot the presidential nominee
through the head,
and Johnny will rise gallantly to his feet
and lift Ben Arthur's body in his arms
and stand in front of the microphones
and begin to speak.
The speech is short,
but it's the most rousing speech
I've ever read.
It's been worked on here and in Russia
on and off for over eight years.
I shall force someone
to take the body away from him.
Then Johnny will really hit
those microphones and those cameras,
with blood all over him,
fighting off anyone who tries to help him,
defending America
even if it means his own death,
rallying a nation of television viewers
into hysteria
to sweep us up into the White House
with powers that will make
martial law seem like anarchy.
Now, this is very important.
I want the nominee to be dead
about two minutes after he begins
his acceptance speech,
depending on his reading time
under pressure.
You are to hit him right at the point
that he finishes the phrase,
"Nor would I ask of any fellow American
in defense of his freedom
"that which I would
not gladly give myself."
My life before my liberty."
Is that absolutely clear?
Would you repeat it for me, Raymond?
Nor would I ask of any fellow American
-In defense of his freedom
-in defense of his freedom
-that which I would not gladly
-that which I would not gladly give
-give myself.
-myself.
-My life
-My life
-before my liberty.
-before my liberty.
I know you will never entirely
comprehend this, Raymond,
but you must believe
I did not know it would be you.
I served them. I fought for them.
I'm on the point of winning for them
the greatest foothold
they will ever have in this country.
And they paid me back
by taking your soul away from you.
I told them to build me an assassin.
I wanted a killer
from a world filled with killers,
and they chose you
because they thought
it would bind me closer to them.
But now we have come almost to the end.
One last step, and then when I take power,
they will be pulled down
and ground into dirt
for what they did to you
and what they did in so contemptuously
underestimating me.
[CLATTERING]
[CHAIRS CLATTERING CONTINUES]
[MAN ON RADIO, INDISTINCT]
One, two, three, four, five, six.
[ELECTRICAL FEEDBACK]
MAN: Testing.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
[CHAIRS CLATTERING CONTINUES]
MAN: Hit the lights. Lights.
Lights out.
Lights!
[CLAPS HANDS]
Why hasn't he called?
It was a calculated risk, Ben.
You were right to take it.
Even if it's not true,
it's nice of you to say it.
The Garden's filling up.
Take it easy.
-8:44.
-I know.
If Steinkamp doesn't
take off that stupid hat
and stop messin' around with those broads,
I'm gonna bust him into a PFC.
Easy, Ben.
-Okay, Milt, I blew it. I blew it!
-[SLAMS HAND ON TABLE]
My magic is better than your magic.
I should've known better.
Intelligence officer.
Stupidity officer is better.
If the Pentagon ever wants
to open up a stupidity division,
they know who they can get to lead it.
Well, Raymond was theirs. He is theirs.
He'll always be theirs.
There's time. He may still call.
For money?
No.
That's what I figured.
-Let's get the hell out of here.
-All right, Ben. Let's go.
[SIREN WAILING]
[BRASS BAND PLAYING]
[BAND CONTINUES]
Milt, I tell you,
you've got to stop this thing.
Stop it? How can I stop it?
On what evidence?
If there was a bomb
planted here, you got a
tip that there was,
you'd stop it fast enough.
You'd empty the White House if you had to.
I tell you, there's a bomb here,
a time bomb that's just waiting to go off.
[DRUMROLL]
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
our national anthem.
WOMAN: Oh, say, can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming?
-Whose broad stripes and bright stars
-Stop twitching.
Raymond has never missed
with a rifle in his life.
Through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming
And the rocket's red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner
Yet wave
For the land of the free
We're in like Flynn, lover.
And the home
Of the brave
[CHEERING]
[GAVEL RAPPING]
-MAN: Ladies and gentlemen
-All you have to do is take it easy.
I give you the next president
of the United States:
Benjamin K. Arthur!
[CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
Mr. Chairman,
delegates, my fellow Americans,
it is with great humility,
albeit with enormous pride
and with a sense of the job to be done,
that I most humbly and most gratefully
accept this nomination
for the highest office in our land.
[CROWD CHEERING]
It is with a full awareness
that the four years that lie ahead
for this country
are, in a sense, the crucial years.
The years, if I may borrow
Mr. Churchill's phrase,
"the years of decision."
And, if I may be permitted
a phrase of my own,
the years of striving.
For it is not what has
been done in the past,
or what may be done
against the far horizons
of some distant future,
but what will be done now.
that you, my fellow Americans,
have placed on my shoulders.
Nor will I ask of any fellow American
in defense of his freedom [COUGHING]
Excuse me.
that which I would not
gladly give myself.
My life before my liberty!
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
You couldn't have stopped them.
The Army couldn't have stopped them.
So I had to. That's why I didn't call.
Oh, God, Ben.
[GUNSHOT]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Poor Raymond.
Poor friendless, friendless Raymond.
He was wearing his medal when he died.
You should read some
of the citations sometime.
Just read them.
"Taken eight prisoners,
killing four enemy in the process,
"while one leg and one arm were shattered"
"and he could only crawl
because the other leg had been blown off."
"Edwards."
"Wounded five times,"
"dragged himself across the direct fire
of three enemy machine guns"
"to pull two of his wounded men to safety"
"amid 69 dead and 203 casualties."
"Holderman."
"Made to commit acts too
unspeakable to be cited here"
"by an enemy who had captured
his mind and his soul."
"He freed himself at last"
"and, in the end,"
"heroically and unhesitatingly
gave his life to save his country."
Raymond Shaw."
-Oh, hell!
-[SLAMS BOOK ON TABLE]
-Hell!
-[THUNDERCLAP]