The Mountain Within Me (2024) Movie Script
1
(WIND HOWLING)
ED: When I'm up a mountain,
I'm not thinking
about anything else.
Life becomes very singular,
and that is my break,
and that's blissful,
and I do feel really at peace
and happy in those moments.
I do not matter on this earth.
Like, that thing has been here,
in comparison, forever,
and will be here
forever after me.
I'm basically
just a speck of dust
flying round the universe
for a millisecond.
So, be happy, spread love.
Enjoy it.
MAN: Are you feeling pretty fit
at the moment, Ed?
ED: What's been really
interesting is, like, actually,
over the last year,
I seem to have got way more
activation in my left leg.
So I'm just able to use it more.
There's loads of different ways
to describe this,
because I'm
an incomplete quadriplegic.
I'm technically
spastic hemiplegic,
which means half of my body
is different to the other half.
My left side, I can't lift
my leg up properly.
On the right side, I don't feel
pain or temperature.
Hand doesn't work properly.
It's just got enough
to pinch-grip,
which is actually really useful,
tying laces and all of
those sorts of things.
MAN: All right,
high consequence, Ed, so...
You do know what I mean by
"high consequence", don't you?
ED: I know exactly
what you mean. Potential death.
MAN: Yeah,
it's climber speak for,
"Don't trip over now
or you'll die."
Can you see where we're going?
ED: Oh, my God.
How the hell
am I gonna get on top of that?
- Well, we'll figure it out.
- Wow, wow, wow.
MAN: It's proper rock climbing,
you know.
The main things
that affect my day-to-day life
are bladder and bowel function.
They need to be
managed regularly.
When I need the toilet,
I've got, like,
90 seconds to find one.
But when I'm out and about,
it means I have to wear,
like, a bag, basically.
Nobody knows, really,
that that's going on.
They just kind of
see Ed limping and think,
"Oh, that's really bad."
But it's the underlying issues
that you don't feel like
you can talk about.
They're unseen.
VICAR:
May they cherish the moments
of their individual pasts...
ED: I don't sweat
from below the nipple line,
which is quite a strange one.
I nearly fainted
at my own wedding.
I overheat really easily.
I have to be careful.
I've got the ability
to cool myself down.
ED: Lois, on the other hand,
her investment strategy
has to be questioned.
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
She went out
with a professional sportsman,
and now she's married
to Mr Wobble.
LOIS: Aw! Never any other way.
- But...
- (GUESTS HECKLING)
But, but, but, but...
Mr Wobble loves you.
- MAN: Yeah!
- More than you will ever know.
- GUESTS: Aw!
- ED: And I am so proud
to call you my wife.
(GUESTS CHEERING)
Ain't no mountain
high enough
(LOIS LAUGHS)
Ain't no valley low enough
- We've all gone mad.
- MAN: Yeah.
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting
to the top of Buet
(LOIS WHOOPS)
(CLIMBERS CHATTERING)
Sorry. I just remembered
we've gotta walk back down.
(ALL LAUGH)
You know, for a long time,
obviously, I didn't think
I'd be able
to be places
like this again, um...
Just remember
to focus on the things
in your life and about your life
that are positive,
and things you've already got,
not the stuff you haven't, um...
Because it's too easy to just
concentrate on negative stuff
and what other people are doing,
what other people have got,
and you completely forget about
how good your own lives are.
So, it's been an amazing,
positive experience for me,
and I hope everyone else
can take something away
from it as well.
- MAN: A hundred percent.
- ED: Love you, guys.
(APPLAUSE)
COMMENTATOR: He's a number eight
who Lyn knows well.
He coached him at London Welsh.
Ed Jackson.
Played at Wasps,
a product of the Bath Academy,
so lots of pedigree.
He's an excellent ball carrier.
Gets over the gain line.
And also has
good leadership qualities.
ED: I was lucky enough to be
a professional
rugby player for ten years,
which was a dream come true
for a kid brought up
in the West Country,
where it's very rugby heavy.
COMMENTATOR: He's added a real
bit of quality here, I feel,
and it'll be great
to see what he does
with the ball tonight
off the back of his Man of the
Match performance last week.
ED: Played for
the English Premiership
and the Welsh Leagues.
It was a dream come true.
You're effectively doing PE
for a living with your mates.
I would say I was probably
at the peak of my career.
COMMENTATOR:
The referee has a close look.
Ed Jackson is claiming it.
ED: I was playing
for the Dragons in Wales,
and I'd just signed
another two-year contract.
COMMENTATOR:
And he's got the try.
The Dragons are back in it.
ED: Absolutely loving it,
living in Cardiff.
You think it's never gonna end.
COMMENTATOR:
One stand-out performance
for the Dragons tonight
was new signing Ed Jackson.
Well done, Ed. Top performance
in your home debut. Well done.
Thank you very much.
ED: I was 27. It was the first
really hot day of the year.
We went round
to our parents' friends' house
to use their pool.
And I took my T-shirt off,
and I just remember
turning round and walking
to the end of the pool,
looking and smiling at one of
my friends at the other end,
and I just jumped and dived in.
(SPLASHING)
What I thought was about
six to eight feet deep
turned out to only be
about three feet deep.
There was 18 stone
of rugby player going through
the top of my head.
Then when I tried to stand up,
that's when I realised
something wasn't right.
I couldn't move.
I was underwater
staring at the surface.
Next thing I know,
an arm grabbed me.
Luckily, my dad was in the pool
and one of my friends.
They pulled me to the surface.
I had hit my head so hard
that my neck had given way
at the bottom.
The disc in between
the two vertebrae had exploded
and shards of the disc
had lodged into my spinal cord,
so I was rendered
sort of completely paralysed
from the shoulders down.
My dad is a retired doctor.
He knew I needed
to be immobilised.
I told everybody exactly what
I wanted them to do,
and I switched off the bit
that it was my son
lying in the pool
and just switched on
the bit that said,
"I'm the only
medical professional here."
ED: The ambulance turned up.
They floated the spinal board
underneath me,
picked me up and carried me,
um, to the ambulance.
MARK: Probably
the luckiest thing
that Edward had in his accident
was that he stayed in the pool.
So his neck never moved
after that initial trauma.
And then the rest of the day's
a bit of a blur, to be honest.
(STRETCHER WHEELS RATTLE)
ED: All of a sudden, there was
lots of doctors around me,
and people taking notes
and talking quietly.
That's when
it started to sink in.
I remember Lois coming in.
She wasn't actually there
with me at the time.
She was in Cardiff.
LOIS: Got a phone call
from Ed's stepmum.
I'd just finished playing Super
League netball over in Wales.
She said, "He's fine. Just...
You just need to get into the
car and get to the hospital."
My initial reaction was,
"Oh, what an idiot.
Like, I'm sure
he's just grazed himself
and he's gonna be fine."
As soon as I looked
into his eyes,
I just knew that it wasn't...
was not good.
He looked so scared, and he was
kind of shaking, trembling,
and I felt like
I was just in a movie.
I just remember
sort of saying sorry.
And I didn't really know
why I was saying sorry,
but I think I knew deep down
why I was saying sorry.
Um... But, um...
Yeah, it was pretty...
it was pretty scary. Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
(SNIFFS) I don't think I've sort
of run through it in my head
that detailed bef... as...
You know, I've told
the story before,
but I've never really sort of
emotionally connected
with it like that.
I remember just feeling
really guilty at the time.
I was just thinking like,
"How could I have done that?"
It was so stupid.
(SNIFFS)
(STRETCHER WHEELS RATTLE)
I was straight back in
an ambulance, going to
Southmead Hospital in Bristol,
which is a neurological centre,
cos they knew I needed
an emergency operation.
I was like,
"I'll just have a quick nap."
They were like, "No, don't do
that. Stay awake, stay awake."
MARK: What we didn't discover
till later
was that that journey
took a long time
because his heart
kept stopping.
They kept having to inject
adrenaline to keep it going.
Looking at his dad, I knew,
cos he's, like,
the strongest person,
never gets emotional
about anything,
and he was just so silent.
ED: I was very lucky that
a surgeon called Mr Neil Barua,
one of the leading
neurosurgeons in the country,
is on call on a Saturday night.
The last thing I remember
from him was him saying,
"There is a chance you won't
wake up from this operation."
We always had a rule
that you never contact us,
or any of us, on holiday, ever.
So if you know you're on
holiday, no news is good news.
And Lois rang,
and she said, "It's Ed."
ED: Woke up from the operation.
There was a lot
of bleeping machines. There was
tubes coming out of me.
I was like,
"This is a nightmare.
You know, they've fixed me.
I'll be fine."
But then slowly
I tried to move my left foot.
Nothing happened.
Right foot. Nothing happened.
I was like, "OK, just...
I'll be able to move my arms."
But nothing.
I was just a head on a pillow,
basically.
I went in to see him.
Um...
Hard, yeah.
And I had to sort of man up
every time I walked in the door.
You'd walk out and think...
(EXHALES)
When his friends came in, there
was one in particular, Souto.
I was with Ed, and Souto
came in and just collapsed.
And, you know,
you could see Ed's face.
After that,
I actually took a photograph,
and I said, "Right, this is
what you're walking into."
I said, "Look at
this photograph." I said,
"Please do not collapse."
Cos most of them
are really big softies.
At the end the day, they are.
Anyway, they'd just collapse
in the waiting room
and go, "OK."
I said, "When you go in there,
you walk in with a smile
on your face
and treat him as if he's,
you know, just hurt something."
And that's... It worked.
ED: I flicked into "make
everyone else feel all right".
And that became
a really good distraction
for me during the day.
Putting that act on
was quite important for myself.
You embody it.
But then at night,
it was horrific.
I was in a pretty dark place,
mentally.
There was
so much anxiety around
was I ever gonna be able
to walk again?
Was I ever gonna be able
to work again?
Would I have to sell my house
to pay for rehab?
All of this stuff
is just going through your mind
when you don't have those people
there to distract you.
Many times I thought, you know,
"I don't wanna be here
any more"
and "What does this mean
for everyone else?"
And especially Lois. Um...
I didn't want her
to have to live with someone
that couldn't
look after themselves,
and it's not what she sort of
bought into and, um...
Fortunately
I couldn't move enough to...
to... to end it all,
so I had to put up
with where I was.
He was trying to tell me to
leave him, even at that point,
cos he was just like,
"I'm so sorry.
You don't deserve this life."
And I think, like, we'd spoken
so much about the future
in terms of, like,
where we would wanna go
and what we'd wanna do,
and it was always, like...
really active things,
so I think that was just,
like, maybe gonna be
taken away from us.
As soon as I told him to shut up
and that I wasn't
gonna leave him,
then that was kind of
that conversation done.
The times when
I really struggled
were when I was on my own,
and it was like the drive
back from the hospital
or to the hospital.
And that's when
I'd kind of break down,
cos I didn't wanna do it
in front of Ed.
ED: The turning point for me
was being told
after nine days by the surgeon,
"You're category ASIA A1,
which is the highest level
of spinal cord injury.
The likelihood is
you're never gonna walk again."
I remember looking down the bed
and seeing Lois sat there.
She had burst into tears.
And my mum sat there,
and she was in tears.
I realised then
that it wasn't about me.
If I didn't have Lois
and my mum there,
or I didn't have people
like that to get better for,
then I wouldn't have found
the motivation.
I saw it in so many others.
Some people had no visitors,
and of course they just woke up
every morning
and just wanted to take
as many drugs as possible
and forget about it.
It was the thing
that gave me the motivation
to spend every waking minute
trying to move something.
LOIS: Oh, my God, Ed,
it's moving so much.
ED: And I just remember
being like, "My toe's moving!"
Then I was like,
"I just need to keep moving it,
cos I don't want it
to stop moving."
So I'm there
just focusing really hard.
People are coming in.
I'm like, "Look!"
I'm not doing that, because
I'm laying flat on my back,
staring at the ceiling.
I'm like, "Look at my toe."
That showed that there was
a connection past my injury,
so all... all bets were off.
As soon as he got
that flicker in his toe,
he was like,
"I'm gonna walk again."
And... And I was like,
"Yeah. Yeah, you are."
- (WOMAN LAUGHS)
- LOIS: Hold Souto's hand.
Hold his hand.
- Even healthier than mine, bro.
- (LAUGHTER)
Mine are purple.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
(LOIS LAUGHS)
- Not much has changed.
- Fucking hell.
(BIRD SCREECHES)
LOIS: Once out of there,
we could start
looking up, really,
and that's when the hard work
kind of really kicked in.
We were like, "Right, when can
we start? Like, we'll start..."
We were already
moving his legs and his arms.
PHYSIO: One, two, three, push.
Come on, boy. Push, push, push.
LOIS: When we met his physio,
Pete, in the Bath hospital,
and he actually took me aside
and said, "We'll get him
walking again",
and then I was like
"Right, let's do this."
PETE: Come on. And again, again.
Pull, pull, pull,
pull, pull, pull...
With Ed, we had somebody
who was exceptional.
Um, all patients
are exceptional in a way.
Pulling back. Good.
But with Ed, we had somebody
with a sporting background,
someone with a huge drive,
and somebody who understood
the benefits of exercise.
Good. Ten! Come on...
MARK: Pete Bishop-Ponte,
who I think
is quite remarkable,
he's a great believer
in intense physiotherapy
for spinal cord injuries
in the very early stages
of recovery.
- All right, nice.
- Nice. Really good, Ed.
Yeah, that's nice.
PETE: Here we had a young man
that just needed someone
to throw him a lifeline.
Someone to say
something positive.
Someone to give him words
based on fact
that he could possibly
work his way and train his way
out of this.
One, two, three, up. Good.
He was exceptionally motivated.
So we have a big gym
in Salisbury
and he and Lois were in there
all hours of the day.
She was amazing.
She was essentially his physio.
The emotional bit
is huge, actually.
Having a great group of friends
who'll still come in
and take the piss out of you.
And a loving partner
or wife or girlfriend.
And just people there
to support you
and keep you motivated
and keep you going.
You can't even
quantify it, really.
Four months later, in August,
Ed and his fiance, Lois,
came to see me in the clinic.
And he walked in.
He wanted a photo, cos he was
doing a blog at the time,
and it was quite embarrassing,
cos I'm only about
five foot nine,
and a lot of jokes were made
about why he was stood
next to a schoolboy.
That was like the biggest
turning point for him,
when he created the blog
and put it out on his Instagram.
He got
so many messages back saying
how much him sharing his story
had helped them,
and, actually, by him
helping those people,
he got so much reward back.
That was the most
powerful feeling,
cos that was me realising
that actually some good
can come from this situation,
it doesn't just
have to be negative.
After nine months,
I'd moved home.
And it was difficult.
It was difficult
to stay on top of the rehab.
I was living with my parents.
In hospital you're in a bubble,
but I was at home,
and it was very obvious
the things that I couldn't
do any more
that I could do before.
SARAH: To start with,
seeing him going up the stairs.
Heart-breaking. Mmm.
And especially
if he's just walking around
in his boxers or whatever.
You know, he's always covered
in bruises and bumps
and scrapes.
You know, black and blue
from falling over. Mmm.
Which you don't see.
Our lives had been
completely turned upside down.
It just wasn't the same at all.
We were, like, learning to get
the wheelchair around the house.
He was learning about bladder,
bowel control, like,
sexual function.
There were so many
new situations brewing
that we had no idea, really,
how to handle.
I felt quite isolated and alone
in my own head.
I looked into his eyes
and I loved him so much,
but something wasn't right.
He'd changed so much.
His whole body, his movement
and everything had changed.
- Whoo!
- LOIS: One of the biggest
things, his smell had changed.
I actually sometimes felt like
I was cheating on Ed,
pulling away
when I was kissing him,
cos he smelt differently
to the Ed that I knew before.
Of course,
he's been through everything,
and that's why
I kept it so quiet,
those thoughts, for so long.
- (CHEERING)
- (LAUGHS)
LOIS: I went and got help.
Don't speak too soon.
And did some work
with sexual therapy
and had that conversation
with Ed,
which was probably
the most brutal conversation
I've ever had in my life.
It played on a massive
insecurity of mine at the time.
I had changed
so much physically,
and, whether I like it or not,
I think a lot of my identity
was wrapped up
in my physicality
and those types of things,
and being a man and, you know,
being a rugby player
and all of those things
that go along with that.
It was kind of the lens through
which we discussed, you know,
Lois struggling as well,
basically.
- Yeah.
- And it opened up
that conversation.
And it was on more fronts
than just, sort of,
what was going on
in the bedroom.
I think when you go through
something like that
with someone,
it's either gonna break you
or, like, make you.
And you see that go
one of two ways often.
And you can understand why
it would break a relationship.
It nearly did for us,
not because of anything...
it didn't highlight any issues
that we had in the first place,
but it's just you don't want...
you're living, you go off
in different paths effectively,
on paper,
but, actually,
if you stay together
and you ride through
something emotional like that,
like so many couples have,
then it makes you so strong
to the point where
you can't see yourself
without them,
because your new life
has only existed with them.
It's like being married
from birth, in a way.
- Which is a bit strange,
I suppose.
- That was a bit weird.
- That was
a bit of a weird thought.
- Yeah.
We realised that communication
was gonna be key
in order just to be, um, yeah,
open and honest with each other.
You can't move forward with
the problems that you're facing
unless you actually
work on them together
and are honest together.
- Would you agree?
- Yeah, massively.
That's why
I've gone into specialising
in relationship coaching,
because I want to share
that journey with other people.
(WEIGHTS CLANGING)
ED: It was another turning point
along the road.
I was so in the midst
of trying to recover
and trying to rediscover
some purpose in my life
and drive forward.
I did go down a bit
at that stage, I think.
I knew I needed
to put something in place,
a challenge for myself,
to motivate me.
I wanted to send a message
to everyone else
who was in hospital
that had also been told
they can't do something
that maybe that doesn't
have to be the case.
I said to my physios,
"At the 12-month mark,
I wanna climb Snowdon."
And they were like, "Excuse me?
What? Um, 12 months?"
"What about 24 months?
Maybe we'll give it a go."
But I knew that if...
even if I didn't get up there,
even if I got
100 metres up there,
people would see me on my feet,
and it would send the message
that maybe some of them
needed to hear
to not give up hope.
I'd opened it up
on social media to anyone
who wanted to come and join in,
thinking a few people
might turn up,
and there were 70 people
there on the start line
who I didn't know.
I mean, the first reaction was,
"Oh, shit, I'm gonna have to
get to the top now."
(CLIMBERS CHATTERING)
LOIS: Snowdon was incredible.
I was definitely there
to support him the whole way.
At times I actually felt
quite disconnected from him,
cos there were so many people
around him, and physios,
and everybody was worried
about him falling over.
So I think at one point
he had to be like,
"We'll walk
the last bit together."
CLIMBERS: Go on, Ed!
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
- Well done.
- Yes!
(CHEERING)
ED: It's one of the hardest
things I've ever done,
but I got to the top
and just had this feeling
that I'd achieved something
for the first time
since my accident.
There was
all these other people
that I was taking loads from,
but also my own journey
was benefitting them.
I remember staring out
and not knowing
how my life would pan out
but knew it wasn't gonna be
in a conventional way,
obviously, any more.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Some of the things
I'm starting to do
is just rewriting the rulebook
in my own head, and hopefully
in other people's heads,
of what is possible
in life, you know,
and what you're capable of.
You don't know until you try.
Finally here in the Himalayas.
Always wanted to come here.
And, as you can see,
it's amazing.
That's Annapurna behind us.
8,000 metres.
Um, one of the highest mountains
in the world.
And it is true what they say,
when you get near them...
Just can't really describe...
can't really describe it,
really.
I remember being sat
in a place called Ghandruk,
and I was staring up
at this 8,000-metre mountain.
And I'd never felt so small
in my life.
My brain almost
couldn't comprehend
the size of the thing
that was in front of me.
I just felt completely,
like, insignificant.
It was an incredibly
sort of liberating feeling.
You know when students are
like, "I went on my gap year
and found myself"?
Like, that actually happened
to me. (LAUGHS)
I felt ridiculous
coming back and actually
telling anyone about it.
I think me and Lois
almost kept it to ourselves.
But that was the moment
we said,
"We wanna try and help people
for the rest of our lives.
We wanna try
and make a difference."
I remember going,
"Right, let's drop everything
and try and start a charity."
We set up a foundation to take
people with psychological
or physical trauma
away on these adventures.
The real reason that I've made
the recovery I have
is because
of my support network,
and I just wanted to pay
that forward to other people.
So people are sharing their
experiences and their traumas,
and realising that it's not
just them going through it.
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
PETE: I have seen Ed go
from a frustrated rugby player
with a spinal injury
to a man with...
much more spiritual
and much more awareness
of people around him
and the environment around him.
ED: Do you feel like
you're in a better place now?
- WOMAN: A hundred percent.
- Yeah.
ED: Life's a journey anyway.
Even if we didn't have
anything that happened,
it'd still be
full of ups and downs.
Sometimes they just get
exaggerated a bit.
WOMAN: Yes, exactly.
Um, Benny boy.
(NDISTINCT CHATTER)
ED: Ben's one of the
beneficiaries of the charity.
He was a paratrooper
whose parachute didn't open.
BEN: I joined 7th Parachute
Regiment Royal Horse Artillery.
This would have been my 15th
military jump, I think it was.
Uh, but I've done about
65 civilian jumps beforehand.
I remember being in the plane.
I was the third... third man
out of the door.
And I remember...
I remember jumping.
I remember looking up,
seeing what I thought
was a fully opened parachute.
I thought, "Right, look at
the floor, see where I am."
And as I looked at the floor,
I hit it.
And when I came to, I just
remember laying there thinking,
"That was a lot harder
than I remembered."
And I thought,
"I need to catch my breath,
I need to catch my breath."
And I thought,
"I've got another jump to do.
I can't embarrass myself
in front of the blokes.
I need to get up."
So I took my helmet off,
and as I went to get up, the
pain just shot through my body.
And next thing I know,
someone's grabbed my head.
He was a medic, and he shouted
out, "He's alive."
And they worked out about 75
mile an hour I hit the floor at.
Just a sheer unlucky accident.
I have no sensation
in my right leg.
I have memory loss,
severe back pain.
I'm on medication
for the rest of my life.
Someone filmed my jump
at that time.
I kept watching it
and playing it back, thinking,
"Where did I go wrong?
What could I have done?"
There was nothing
I could have done,
but I was doing it
for nearly a year.
I was diagnosed with PTSD,
with the effects
of not sleeping
and watching the video
over and over again.
For me, it was failing.
I feel like I failed.
So throughout my life, I feel
like I fail a lot of stuff.
WOMAN: Meeting Ed
has been really pinnacle
in Ben's mental recovery
probably, emotional recovery,
because Ed has such a way
of starting off
deep conversations,
and Ben's not had that before
where he feels
completely comfortable
being so vulnerable.
With me he will,
but with somebody else. So
it's nice for him to have that.
ED: There's a saying,
"The pendulum always swings."
So it's not just
that you'll get through it.
Actually it will go back
positive again as well.
And it's just having
that faith, right?
When it goes negative,
you can do something about it.
But just always have the faith
that it'll come back,
come back the other way.
Anyone else
like to offer something up?
The perspective that the walk,
like, this has given us.
And, like, being able to walk
with all these different people
and, like, make
these meaningful connections.
LOIS:
An intensive bonding experience.
ED: Whether you like it or not.
Forced.
I was in an accident in 2016,
in a bus crash in France,
and really struggled after that,
developing PTSD and anxiety.
One of the things that
I think Ed does really well
is his reframing and finding
the enjoyment in life.
ED: Cool people are people
who completely own who they are,
and whether that is you love
drystone walls or War...
- (LAUGHTER)
- Or Warhammer.
Understand who you are,
what you enjoy, and then
don't be embarrassed by that.
Own it. You are capable of way
more than you think, you know.
We're too quick to be put
into pigeon holes by society,
by our friends, by ourselves.
But getting outside
of that comfort zone,
that's where the fun stuff is,
and the growth is.
WOMAN: It's nice
to just interact with people
who take the fact
you're injured on face value,
and it doesn't matter
that you're looking a bit funny
or wearing a leg brace
or a bit wobbly.
One thing I've found
since being injured
is that an awful lot of
elements of it are very lonely,
and there's an awful lot that
you have to do on your own.
So in that aspect, I love it.
It's really important.
ISABEL: I've got my spark back.
(LAUGHS) I feel like they've
really given me that back.
MAN: A quick pint now?
LOIS: Yes, absolutely.
Celebratory pint.
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
BEN: Cos I've been accepted
as a beneficiary,
I get two or three years
of life coaching from Lois.
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER)
BEN: Hands down, one of
the best things I've had.
Throughout my rehab,
I get told what to do,
or "You need to do this",
"You're feeling this."
So Lois spoke to me
and got the answers from me,
which was the first time,
so, yeah,
it was very, very helpful.
LOIS: It's kind of
a "pinch myself" moment
that Ed and I have created this
and that it's really working.
And what's really exciting is
that it's only the beginning,
so, yeah, it's cool.
(LAUGHS)
LOIS: What if I put
your foot down?
No, no, no, no. No.
I need to get in a better
position. I don't know what...
ED: It's not easy day-to-day
living with
a spinal cord injury.
Fuck.
I can't do all the things
that I did before.
That's better.
I'll never be able
to play rugby again,
or run around with my kids,
or...
not go out
without a catheter bag on,
or use my left hand.
- OK, I'll put a cushion there.
- Wait. Let me roll.
- Are you sure? Just stay there.
- See if I can roll on my back.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ED: Probably
one of those things,
I would have thought
that that would have
broken me, you know.
No, actually. Fuck.
But, actually, it's just...
The perspective piece
is the most important.
Helping others
helps you massively.
It's such a shortcut
to making yourself feel better,
and I think we're set up
like that as humans.
BEN: Ed phoned me saying
that he would like me
to go to Nepal with him.
And I can remember,
I burst into tears straightaway.
I was so happy. Yeah, I thought,
"Oh, this is like a..."
I needed a new challenge,
or a goal.
I didn't have anything,
so I felt like
I wasn't going anywhere.
ED: There wasn't supposed to be
a beneficiary on this trip.
It was one of my challenges
in terms of trying
to get to a new height.
But getting to know Ben,
I realised that he was on
a very similar journey to me.
He's an ex-paratrooper,
seriously fit.
Hopefully he can start
to put things in place
to find some purpose again
and go down a path he wants to.
I know that my body's only got
a certain shelf life,
and it might mean
that it all ends at 40,
but I'm terrified
of becoming stagnant.
(HORNS BEEPING)
Kathmandu is Kathmandu.
You're hit by
a completely different culture,
which is amazing.
The sounds, the smells.
So there was this mad scramble
on social media
to try and find a videographer.
- A thousand rupees.
- And Beetle
was really enthusiastic.
So that's how he ended up
on the trip with us.
- Let's get some face paint on.
- Happy Holi!
ED: Arron's a big strong guy,
he's very fit,
and very experienced
in those environments.
- MAN: Happy Holi!
- ED: Happy Holi!
ED: He also does breath work
sessions and qigong.
He's a great friend of mine
and a great ally
of the charity as well.
Look at this.
Before I left,
Evie pulled me to one side
and said she'd got something
to tell me.
I immediately thought
it was bad news.
And she told me,
uh, she was pregnant.
I spent the whole three weeks
thinking of baby names, really.
(LAUGHS)
ED: We headed
into the mountains,
and I remember just being like,
"Yes, here we go."
Beautiful out here.
ED: Then we were off-grid,
and it was a bit of
a daunting feeling,
because it's not something
we get to do very often
in the Western world.
Not speaking to Lois for a long
time would be very difficult.
We started heading up this
valley, and it was our first
really challenging day.
To become the first person ever
to go to over 7,000 metres
with my type of injury
is incredible,
but to be able to do it with
Ben is even more powerful.
There it is.
Himlung Himal.
Himlung appeared in
all its glory in front of us,
and there's this overwhelming
feeling of isolation,
in a beautiful way.
Ah!
Welcome to the Base Camp, guys!
Yes, mate.
Welcome to the Base Camp.
It's so cool.
BEN: Having no phone signal
was one of the best things
I've ever done.
If you wanted
to be on your own,
you could just be on your own
in your own head.
It helped massively.
ED: It's amazing
when you're in spaces like that
and you have no distraction,
and you contemplate
your place in the world
and realise how small
and, in a weird way,
humble and insignificant
you are,
it's an immensely
freeing feeling.
Nothing really matters,
not the way you think it does,
especially not you.
That's the most poignant thing
about being
in the high mountains for me,
how it changes me,
not physically but emotionally,
when I come back,
and gives me
so much more clarity.
A little pre-lunch hike
with Benny boy.
Air's so thin up here.
It must be about, well,
well over 5,000 metres up here.
But look at this. That is wild.
There's Himlung
in the back there.
Camp One's up there. So,
Base Camp, Camp One, Camp Two.
Three-day climb
to get from 4,900 to 7,126.
Beautiful.
BEN: When I set my mind
to something,
I have to complete it before
I move on to anything else.
Once I got Nepal in my head,
there was no going back.
BEN: After the accident,
I started to feel suicidal.
And I closed my eyes
whilst I was driving.
I got to a real low point
and I thought, "I'm done."
If it wasn't for my family
and my close friends,
it'd have been probably
a different story.
During my school life,
I was bullied.
People always told me
I couldn't do something.
Again, since my accident, um,
people have been telling me
I can't do stuff.
And I wanna prove 'em wrong.
Um...
Up until the day
I left for this trip,
people have been
putting barriers up, walls up.
"You can't do this.
You shouldn't do this.
You're gonna cause yourself
more damage."
But why not?
If I can do it, I can do it now.
Who knows? Later on in life,
I won't be able
to do these things.
I wanna prove people wrong.
I love proving people wrong.
And I also want to show other
people that they can do it too.
(BELL RINGS)
ED: We had to cross this glacier
that was covered by boulders.
And because no one
had been there for two years,
everything had moved.
Everything was loose.
And a boulder field
is like my worst nightmare
when you're unstable.
And for Ben as well.
Oh, oh!
- Do you wanna grab that?
- Move to the right.
- (INDISTINCT)
- Oh, oh!
- Yeah, boy.
- (INDISTINCT)
ED: The level of concentration
had to be so high.
Our disabilities or our
physical limitations, really,
sort of become more obvious.
OK, OK, OK, OK. No, no, no.
Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop.
It's OK. It's OK.
And became more obvious
to the guides as well.
They're thinking at that point,
"How the hell are these guys
gonna even get ten metres
over there, never mind
up this mountain?"
(LABOURED BREATHING)
BEN: You really started
to feel the effects
of the altitude with breathing.
You take three steps
and you're out of breath.
So there's
a lot of silent walking.
I taught myself
to block any negativity.
On the stick and down.
BEN: I can't feel my right leg,
so I had to be looking
on the ground constantly.
BEN: It was hard.
ED: Just mentally the whole time
he's been talking
about the summit.
Yeah, he talks a lot about it,
he's got a point
to prove to people
and he wants
to prove people wrong,
but we're in the mountains,
so it doesn't matter
who you are,
if she decides
to not let us get to the top,
then we won't get to the top.
I just worry
where his head will be
if he doesn't make it
to the top.
He's pushing himself so hard.
And he's just going,
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine",
when clearly he's not.
He's really grappling
with the frustration
of not being the person
he was before.
And it's hard
to let go of that person.
BEETLE: How are you finding
this terrain, Ben?
(BEN LAUGHS)
Does that answer your question?
BIGRAJ: Very, very,
very difficult.
Horrible day. So I would say
this is horrible day.
Very risky.
So... very scary for everyone.
ED: Probably the most mentally
draining day of my life.
At Camp One, you can, like,
look down on the glacier.
And it was just the most
incredible place to camp.
It was amazing. We'd bonded
really tightly by that point.
Especially with the guides
and the Nepali team.
We woke up early,
and that was it,
we were up towards Camp Two.
The first time we'd put
boots and crampons on,
which makes it much more real,
and we head off
into the crevasse field.
Back, back, back, back.
- Back, back?
- Yeah.
ED: So I was stood on the edge
of this crevasse
knowing that there's
a good chance I could end up
falling into the crevasse.
- I'm gonna go
with my right leg. Ready?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
One...
Good, good, good, good!
And just about make it over.
And that was
within five minutes
of getting on the glacier
and was kind of a sign
of things to come.
Ben was finding it a lot harder
than the rest of us.
And he was just pushing
and pushing and pushing.
I was worried for him.
We're likely
to get altitude sickness,
so let's just slow it down.
Go at a pace
that's comfortable for you.
We're all more than happy
to have a rest,
trust me.
BEN: My leg suddenly
stopped working.
I was more angry at myself
that my leg wasn't working.
Really started to annoy me.
Without this. Let's do it.
Oh, come on. Get a grip.
Feel like a turtle.
(COUGHING)
ED: Yeah?
ED: I mean, I was
an absolute wreck as well.
It was knee-deep snow
most of the time,
and it's one step at a time.
And at that altitude,
you've got hardly any oxygen.
I think I was just, like,
I don't know how I'm gonna
get up at ten o'clock
and keep moving.
It's so hard.
Just what I need.
Well done, boy.
The Nepali guides,
they can skip
across the top of it.
Every step, even though
I was in their footprints,
that bit lower, and then
no hip flexor to lift out of it.
Yeah, I was swearing at my feet
quite a bit.
- Yeah, I had a meltdown.
- Yeah, me too, mate.
I had a meltdown as well,
don't worry.
- Night-night.
- Good night.
LOIS: Hello, Eddie, babes. Um...
I just wanted to wish you
a huge, huge good luck
climbing Himlung.
Barry and I believe
that you will get to the top
of this mountain.
No?
(LAUGHS)
But, in all seriousness,
it doesn't matter to me
if you make it to the top.
I am unbelievably proud
to call you my husband.
I'm so excited
for our future together.
And I just can't wait to get
you back down the mountain
and into my arms.
I love you so much.
EVIE: Hi, babe.
Hope you're OK
and staying safe and warm.
I know that your
determination/stubbornness, um,
and your strength and your
resilience is a part of you,
and that's partly why
I love you so much, um,
and I know that that's what
will get you up the mountain,
but I just want you to remember
that there's so much more
to you than that.
So whatever happens, you've
done an amazing, amazing thing.
I really, really love you
and I really miss you.
And I can't wait to see you
when you get back.
ED: I am exhausted. Got just
over a thousand metres left.
I have no idea how this is gonna
go. Ben, absolutely smashing it.
Struggling too,
but so proud of him.
- Boss.
- ED: Thank you, Khajou.
We've stepped out of our tents
into the most incredible sky
lit up with stars.
We wanted to go
across the crevasse field
through the coldness
of the night.
The ice is more stable.
It's much easier for Ed
to walk across.
I got up
and I just threw up everywhere.
Beetle came out and said,
"Ben's not well."
And he had had altitude sickness
through the night.
Raveen will take him
all the way down to Base Camp.
- ED: OK.
- Base Camp.
I think better
to go all the way down.
ARRON: If you push on with that,
and you're being sick,
it's life or death, really.
That voice of failure
started creeping back in again.
But I'd prepared myself for it.
I did a lot of work
beforehand of
I can't control
the altitude sickness,
couldn't control the weather,
so if the weather changed,
then we couldn't get there.
These things
are out of my control.
I remember going into his tent
and just saying,
"Listen, mate,
you've got to 6,000 metres.
You're the only other person
with a spinal cord injury
to ever do that.
Before this,
you haven't even climbed
anything higher than Ben Nevis.
Like, it's a bit ridiculous
that you're even here,
to be honest.
You should be so proud
of what you've done."
And you know what,
he looked at me
and he was like...
he was like, "It's fine."
And I could tell
he was fine with it.
And I was just so relieved.
See you in a couple of days.
(CHUCKLES)
BEN: Ed's the highest.
I'm the second highest.
So I've accomplished
what I wanted.
I've proved people wrong
who told me I couldn't do it.
Rather than looked
at what he couldn't do,
he was looking
at what he can do.
And I walked off into the night
with the other guys there
just with a big smile
on my face.
ED: No, I should be all right
on this one.
ED: About two hours in,
I fell straight through
a crevasse.
Got up and fell straight
into another crevasse.
And that's when I realised
that we were surrounded by them
but effectively walking
over the top of them.
(GRUNTS)
No.
Oh. I'm in there.
ED: Six hours
into our summit attempt,
the sun had started to come up.
We started
the sort of steep ascent.
It didn't feel like you're
getting any closer to the top.
(LABOURED BREATHING)
I remember checking with
the guide, "How high are we?"
And he was like,
"We're at about 6,800 metres."
I was now higher
than I'd ever been before.
OK, so we've been going
for nine hours.
It's fair to say,
it is by far the hardest thing
any of us have ever done.
I'm only 300 vertical metres
short of the summit.
But that could be
four or five hours. I knew
Arron wouldn't turn round.
So I knew I was responsible
for him as well.
ARRON: When Ed finally
collapsed onto his knees,
he started crying.
He was at complete
breaking point.
ARRON: I have never seen him
there before.
He had pushed it
to his absolute limit.
I am done, and I'm doing it
with two legs, mate.
So we've decided
that we will have to abandon
the summit attempt.
ED: It wasn't until
I'd made that decision
and pointed downhill,
I thought,
"Oh, my God, I can't walk."
All of a sudden,
my quad that I'd been working
so hard all the way up there
was just shaking cos it's now
facing down the hill.
And I realised it was
gonna be just as hard
to get down the mountain
as it was to get to the point
where we'd got up.
(YELLS)
Climbing down to the shoulder
took about six hours.
I was just doing
everything I had to do
to get down the mountain.
We got down to the bottom
of the shoulder
to where
the crevasse field was.
We were sat there resting.
I'm absolutely exhausted.
Like, to the point
where I can't speak any more
and my body's shaking.
But I know
we've got to cross this glacier
to get back to Camp Two.
(WIND HOWLING)
We're sat there, and we realise
that all of the snow
that we had walked
across at night, the night
before, that was frozen,
was now soft and we were
surrounded by crevasses.
Bigraj managed to get through
to the helicopter company
on the satphone.
They said, "We can't get
to you. You're gonna have to
wait till the morning."
- BEETLE: So...
- ARRON: We're all huddling
for warmth.
BEETLE:
...it's ten past midnight.
Ed's not in a good nick.
ED: We were facing night
on the mountain at minus 20,
minus 30, probably, degrees.
And it was
just gonna be survival.
Very lucky Bigraj was there,
very lucky Arron was there...
...to make rational decisions
at that point.
I was almost fitting.
(COUGHS)
All right.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
ED: We'd do some breath work
with Arron,
and then we'd do some tensing,
and just keep each other awake.
ARRON: About 7:30 a.m.
Bigraj went on the satphone
and he called the helicopter,
and they said, yes,
they're coming up.
ED: That sound of the chopper
coming up the valley,
just unbelievable
sense of relief.
BEN: Ed came back.
And Ed, oh, Jesus Christ,
Ed looked really bad.
His lips were all scabbed,
his nose was scabby
where it was all burnt.
ED: The first thing I remember
is Ben running over
and me just giving him
a big hug,
and the look on his face
and how happy he was.
BEN: I hugged him and I said,
"Are you all right?"
He said, "That was epic."
I looked at him
and just laughed.
So, yeah, that...
that sums up Ed, I think.
Excuse the feralness.
I've just had my first wash, uh,
in five days, six days.
Um, yeah, we got back to a very
nervous camp this morning.
They'd put up
all the prayer flags and kept
the fire burning for us.
So, very sweet, but also
very humbling at the same time.
Obviously it hasn't
all sunk in yet.
I think there was
something higher
watching over us that day.
The respect I have
and we have for the mountain,
and showed to the mountain
throughout our whole trip,
I feel very grateful
to have experienced
what we experienced.
But I also feel very lucky
that we made it back.
It's not something
I would want
to repeat in a heartbeat
or choose to,
but it's also something
I definitely, definitely
don't regret.
I think every time
that I come close to death,
which has happened
a couple of times now...
you just realise
how lucky you are
to be alive in the first place.
And it's something that...
I definitely
took for granted before.
INTERVIEWER: That trip
really did change your life.
It has changed my life,
yeah, massively, yeah.
All for the better. Yeah.
And I can't thank Ed or Lois
enough for what they've done.
My stress levels
have gone so low.
What stuff I'd usually
get angry at, or snap at...
I just... I just... I took
Ed's attitude of... "Bothered".
I've accepted
that the accident's happened.
I accepted that my injuries
are what they are now.
I don't wanna be setting on
to the next goal straightaway.
I just wanna enjoy and think,
"Oh, my God, what have I done?
What have I achieved?"
And enjoy telling the story,
to be honest.
LOIS: I could see straightaway
how much that trip
had changed their lives.
Ed realigned
what he wants to do
and where he wants to go and
the values that he lives by.
Only accepting work
that is true to him
and that is actually
gonna get him closer
to the deeper things he wants
to do, not the superficial.
- Do you wanna go through this?
- Yeah.
Last year, we decided
that we wanted to help impact
more people, basically.
We had so many applications
and people getting in touch,
but we kind of wanted
to stick true
to our approach of
really changing someone's life.
And with that in mind,
you can't impact
a thousand people
at the same time.
ARRON: Trying to watch the hand.
ED: By changing fewer
people's lives significantly,
the ripple effect is they then
go on and help other people.
But also
their stories being told
means that other people
can see that
to take inspiration
from it.
We wanted to create actual
events around the country
that more people
can get involved with,
and that's Together Outdoors.
So it's like a network,
started from a Facebook group,
where people
who have been through trauma
can get in contact
with each other in their areas
and go on organised walks.
I'm really proud of both
of them. They work so hard.
They play hard as well,
but they work so hard.
In the office, outside,
focused on it.
(CHEERING)
Honestly, I think
this whole sequence of events
has strengthened
their relationship
rather than what sadly
often happens,
which is weaken
and destroys it.
They're both very passionate
about what they're doing.
I mean, you can see,
they enjoy it.
(CHEERING)
(LOIS LAUGHS)
They can see what a difference
it's making to people.
(CHEERING)
Positive emotion
is very healing.
People are more likely
to get better from an illness
if they are positive
in themselves
and are surrounded by people
who feed positivity into them.
LOIS: Yes, Jen! Fist bump!
- I can't believe it.
- Yes!
MARK: It's fairly obvious,
but it is true.
With all the charity work I do,
all the mentoring I'm doing,
it's still healing me.
LOIS: How are you feeling about
the climb with Leo and Waldo?
- I'm excited.
- Yeah?
I mean, scared, but excited.
Yeah, I think it's one of those
which is really gonna...
it's right on the limit of...
I mean, it's beyond
my technical ability already.
LOIS: I still question
why you do these things.
There's a number of reasons.
It obviously helps me
psychologically
keep up with all the training.
- Mmm.
- Which is big.
And hopefully
keeps inspiring other people
to sort of push
their own boundaries.
(BIRD SCREECHES)
Now it's sunk in from Nepal,
it's more doing things
that are, like, risky and hard
but not reckless.
LOIS: Yeah.
Love you.
Rock climbing's not an
adrenaline sport.
It's not about
getting an adrenaline hit.
It's too painful
and too drawn-out for that.
There's unquestionably,
for me at least,
a spiritual element.
It's no coincidence
that most of the best
climbing areas in the world
are national parks.
These environments, these big
rocky features, are majestic.
They're... They're beautiful.
They're awesome places to...
to hang out.
Yeah, wow.
I have...
I still cannot contemplate
how the hell I'm gonna end up
on top of that.
But I have complete faith
in the people I'm with.
And Leo says it's possible.
LEO: Ed's gotta
get himself up there.
All I'm gonna do is minimise the
risk. He's kind of on his own.
It's a real, like, knife-edge
ridge, so it's hyper-exposed.
It's like
the most scary environment.
But the challenge,
I think it's just about
the perfect level
for where he is now.
Being rubbish at something
and being around people
who are great at it,
and every day my improvement
curve's like this,
I'm learning so much.
That curve's never been as steep
since my accident.
I had to learn to walk again
and learn to...
Like, every day's a school day
at the moment.
(EXHALES) So, it's 6 a.m.
The morning of climbing
that thing behind me.
I don't know.
Really excited. Adrenaline.
Like, I feel like
I've got pre-match nerves.
It feels like that same feeling
like before a rugby match,
but almost more intense because
it's so much more unknown.
When I was gonna play rugby,
I knew it was gonna hurt.
God, I love it out here.
It wasn't like I broke my neck
and I was gonna be
quadriplegic.
It wasn't like, "OK, now
I'm just gonna crack on.
It's fine. I'll sort it out."
It wasn't. It's been a process.
It definitely has.
It's kind of realising
that you have to just focus
on what you can do
and what is positive
in your life.
Because if you focus
on the negative side,
it'll eat you up.
Nice one.
ED: I could still be
at the bottom of that pool.
You know, I'm very lucky
that I didn't die.
I do get those flashes of,
"Oh, that's annoying"
or "Ow, that hurts"
or "That takes a long time",
and I have those daily.
But... I mean, not just daily,
but almost hourly.
But that moment of frustration
is fleeting,
cos my brain almost
subconsciously reframes it to,
"No, come on, get on with it.
That's not gonna be helpful
for you."
LEO: So this is where
we'll gear up.
Yeah. I think maybe
a little bit looser.
Just so that I can grab it
when it's further away.
Yeah, that'll be good.
This is a way of me
being able to grab
and move my foot around
and place it on the rock.
Works in principle.
LEO: Ready?
- LEO: Obviously, there's
a physical challenge to it.
- ED: Fuck.
LEO: And a psychological
challenge. It's scary.
Everyone's scared of heights.
But there's also
another element.
- Heart is going.
- LEO: Climbing
is a cerebral challenge.
It's like a problem solving.
It's like a Rubik's Cube.
You have to figure out how to
use the tools at your disposal,
your fingers and your toes
and your appendages,
to overcome this challenge
of getting up the rock face.
It's a very deep thing.
It's very emotional.
And there's
sort of a clarity to it
where you really
have to concentrate.
You really have to focus
on the task at hand.
So you have to be present
and in the moment.
So it's almost
like a form of meditation.
(GRUNTS)
There's just nothing
to really hold on to.
- OK.
- It's all right.
It's not like there's
a massive drop down there.
Yes! Good start.
- (ED EXHALES)
- (LEO LAUGHS)
- That was the first course,
the starter.
- ED: Yeah.
- LEO: This is the main meal.
- Yeah. No shit.
- LEO: Keep it
really slack, yeah?
- Yeah.
ED: This bit's
gonna be difficult.
I've got to try
and get my left leg over.
That's the leg
that doesn't like to work.
LEO: This is gonna be
quite tricky as well.
That's climber talk for, "You're
gonna have a really hard time."
ED: Yeah, yeah, OK.
Quite tricky. Like it.
- Mmm. One sec.
- LEO: Pay attention.
ED: Good?
A thousand-foot drop either
side. Looks pretty terrifying.
Honestly, my heart
is going like the clappers.
I don't know how long
I can keep this...
keep this adrenaline going.
Right, come on.
Come on, you got this.
Steady as she goes.
If my spinal cord injury
was complete,
which I thought it was,
which I was told it was,
then it wouldn't matter
how hard I would work,
I would never be here.
Unless someone dropped me off
in a helicopter.
I would love to have shaken
the old Ed and been like,
"Do you realise how lucky
you are to just be alive?"
I think that I've replaced
a life with a better life.
Yeah, that seems to be working.
Let's put my...
- LEO: Claw jam.
- Claw jam. There it is.
- That's a unique climb.
- The claw, mate. The claw.
It's just where my right leg
goes to, that's the thing.
LEO: The footholds
aren't very good.
There's a really good handhold
up there, though.
Yeah. Gotta get the claw
out of the jam now.
Get out of there. OK.
(EXHALES)
(GRUNTS)
Oh, I've got a spasm
in that leg.
Start bending it.
And break the spasm.
OK. That's a tiny ledge.
Oh, I've got
my right foot stuck.
Ah. Foot's stuck in the crack.
Right. Try something else.
Ooh, no...
I'm not gonna be able
to get my left there,
that's the problem.
Wait a minute. OK. Maybe
if I go with my left in there.
My left leg is now higher
than it's pretty much ever been,
so I don't even know if I'll get
any traction on it, but...
- Is it on something?
- Yeah.
- Hopefully it's steady.
- Go for it.
Um...
You push down with that hand.
Yes! Yes!
(GRUNTS)
Big holds coming up
for your hands.
ED: Yeah, my foot slipped out,
though.
- Go high with your right hand.
- My left foot slipped out.
Oh, yeah.
Yes! Yes! Get your knee on.
There you go. A bit higher.
That's it.
(LABOURED BREATHING)
My God, I feel like
I'm gonna have a heart attack.
LEO: Try not to.
ED: Yeah.
(WIND HOWLING)
LEO: You're nearly there.
Yeah, unclip now.
- Easy now.
- Phwoar.
ED: Not sure
about the exposure, though.
(LABOURED BREATHING)
(LAUGHS)
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that's the top!
ED: Oh...
Oh, my God. Yes!
Oh!
- There you go.
- (EXHALES)
That was... That was
one of the most intense
experiences of my life.
- You did it.
- Thank you so much, mate.
You did it without...
You free climbed it.
That's gonna take a while
to sink in.
Yeah, who'd have thought it
five years ago, eh?
Oh, mate.
- Yeah. Getting a bit emotional.
- So am I.
- Thank you, mate.
- No, it's such a pleasure
to share it.
Mate, it's such
a beautiful place as well.
Yeah. Yeah. It's all too much
to take in, really.
Not just that, but, like, the
whole, "How am I stood up here?"
- Well done, Ed.
- Thanks, man.
- You should be
very proud of that.
- We made it.
What a summit it is. I cannot
believe what we just did.
Well, what I just did.
It was easy for Leo.
Everyone on that whole journey
that got me to that point,
my surgeon, my physios,
stood on top of that mountain
looking out.
And I feel very grateful
to all of them, you know.
Been very lucky
to meet some amazing people
that have done some incredible
things for me and I just...
and it all seemed to culminate
in that terrifying moment.
LOIS: I think that you do gather
a whole new perspective
when you have gone through
a life-changing incident,
when you have nearly died,
and I can feel that from him.
And you know what? It's
contagious. He gives that off.
It's changed my perspective.
I definitely believe that
you can change your mindset
and live a happy,
positive life.
I would say I'm living proof
that you can.
ED: Most of our suffering
is dealt by ourselves,
to ourselves.
I think, at the end of the day,
it comes down to an ability
to let go,
because we can't change
what's happened to us,
so reliving it and replaying it
over and over again
and living in the past is just
causing us more hurt and pain.
And if we can stay
in the present moment,
not fear too much about the
future and just live our lives
like it's a gift to even
be there in the first place,
then that would alleviate
so much suffering.
LOIS: You've got two sticks.
You can't hold my hand.
ED: I think
one of the best ways to do that
is to start doing things
for each other.
You know,
just be kind, be nice.
It doesn't...
It doesn't cost anything.
And those ripple effects
make such a big difference.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(LOIS LAUGHS)
(JIMMY BARNES:
"AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH")
Listen, babe,
ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river
wide enough, baby
If you need me, call
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Don't worry, baby
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry
Cos, baby, there ain't
no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me
from getting to you, babe
Cos you know that there ain't
no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Well, ain't no river
wide enough
To keep me
from getting to you, babe
Oh, no, darlin'
No way, no way
(WIND HOWLING)
ED: When I'm up a mountain,
I'm not thinking
about anything else.
Life becomes very singular,
and that is my break,
and that's blissful,
and I do feel really at peace
and happy in those moments.
I do not matter on this earth.
Like, that thing has been here,
in comparison, forever,
and will be here
forever after me.
I'm basically
just a speck of dust
flying round the universe
for a millisecond.
So, be happy, spread love.
Enjoy it.
MAN: Are you feeling pretty fit
at the moment, Ed?
ED: What's been really
interesting is, like, actually,
over the last year,
I seem to have got way more
activation in my left leg.
So I'm just able to use it more.
There's loads of different ways
to describe this,
because I'm
an incomplete quadriplegic.
I'm technically
spastic hemiplegic,
which means half of my body
is different to the other half.
My left side, I can't lift
my leg up properly.
On the right side, I don't feel
pain or temperature.
Hand doesn't work properly.
It's just got enough
to pinch-grip,
which is actually really useful,
tying laces and all of
those sorts of things.
MAN: All right,
high consequence, Ed, so...
You do know what I mean by
"high consequence", don't you?
ED: I know exactly
what you mean. Potential death.
MAN: Yeah,
it's climber speak for,
"Don't trip over now
or you'll die."
Can you see where we're going?
ED: Oh, my God.
How the hell
am I gonna get on top of that?
- Well, we'll figure it out.
- Wow, wow, wow.
MAN: It's proper rock climbing,
you know.
The main things
that affect my day-to-day life
are bladder and bowel function.
They need to be
managed regularly.
When I need the toilet,
I've got, like,
90 seconds to find one.
But when I'm out and about,
it means I have to wear,
like, a bag, basically.
Nobody knows, really,
that that's going on.
They just kind of
see Ed limping and think,
"Oh, that's really bad."
But it's the underlying issues
that you don't feel like
you can talk about.
They're unseen.
VICAR:
May they cherish the moments
of their individual pasts...
ED: I don't sweat
from below the nipple line,
which is quite a strange one.
I nearly fainted
at my own wedding.
I overheat really easily.
I have to be careful.
I've got the ability
to cool myself down.
ED: Lois, on the other hand,
her investment strategy
has to be questioned.
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
She went out
with a professional sportsman,
and now she's married
to Mr Wobble.
LOIS: Aw! Never any other way.
- But...
- (GUESTS HECKLING)
But, but, but, but...
Mr Wobble loves you.
- MAN: Yeah!
- More than you will ever know.
- GUESTS: Aw!
- ED: And I am so proud
to call you my wife.
(GUESTS CHEERING)
Ain't no mountain
high enough
(LOIS LAUGHS)
Ain't no valley low enough
- We've all gone mad.
- MAN: Yeah.
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting
to the top of Buet
(LOIS WHOOPS)
(CLIMBERS CHATTERING)
Sorry. I just remembered
we've gotta walk back down.
(ALL LAUGH)
You know, for a long time,
obviously, I didn't think
I'd be able
to be places
like this again, um...
Just remember
to focus on the things
in your life and about your life
that are positive,
and things you've already got,
not the stuff you haven't, um...
Because it's too easy to just
concentrate on negative stuff
and what other people are doing,
what other people have got,
and you completely forget about
how good your own lives are.
So, it's been an amazing,
positive experience for me,
and I hope everyone else
can take something away
from it as well.
- MAN: A hundred percent.
- ED: Love you, guys.
(APPLAUSE)
COMMENTATOR: He's a number eight
who Lyn knows well.
He coached him at London Welsh.
Ed Jackson.
Played at Wasps,
a product of the Bath Academy,
so lots of pedigree.
He's an excellent ball carrier.
Gets over the gain line.
And also has
good leadership qualities.
ED: I was lucky enough to be
a professional
rugby player for ten years,
which was a dream come true
for a kid brought up
in the West Country,
where it's very rugby heavy.
COMMENTATOR: He's added a real
bit of quality here, I feel,
and it'll be great
to see what he does
with the ball tonight
off the back of his Man of the
Match performance last week.
ED: Played for
the English Premiership
and the Welsh Leagues.
It was a dream come true.
You're effectively doing PE
for a living with your mates.
I would say I was probably
at the peak of my career.
COMMENTATOR:
The referee has a close look.
Ed Jackson is claiming it.
ED: I was playing
for the Dragons in Wales,
and I'd just signed
another two-year contract.
COMMENTATOR:
And he's got the try.
The Dragons are back in it.
ED: Absolutely loving it,
living in Cardiff.
You think it's never gonna end.
COMMENTATOR:
One stand-out performance
for the Dragons tonight
was new signing Ed Jackson.
Well done, Ed. Top performance
in your home debut. Well done.
Thank you very much.
ED: I was 27. It was the first
really hot day of the year.
We went round
to our parents' friends' house
to use their pool.
And I took my T-shirt off,
and I just remember
turning round and walking
to the end of the pool,
looking and smiling at one of
my friends at the other end,
and I just jumped and dived in.
(SPLASHING)
What I thought was about
six to eight feet deep
turned out to only be
about three feet deep.
There was 18 stone
of rugby player going through
the top of my head.
Then when I tried to stand up,
that's when I realised
something wasn't right.
I couldn't move.
I was underwater
staring at the surface.
Next thing I know,
an arm grabbed me.
Luckily, my dad was in the pool
and one of my friends.
They pulled me to the surface.
I had hit my head so hard
that my neck had given way
at the bottom.
The disc in between
the two vertebrae had exploded
and shards of the disc
had lodged into my spinal cord,
so I was rendered
sort of completely paralysed
from the shoulders down.
My dad is a retired doctor.
He knew I needed
to be immobilised.
I told everybody exactly what
I wanted them to do,
and I switched off the bit
that it was my son
lying in the pool
and just switched on
the bit that said,
"I'm the only
medical professional here."
ED: The ambulance turned up.
They floated the spinal board
underneath me,
picked me up and carried me,
um, to the ambulance.
MARK: Probably
the luckiest thing
that Edward had in his accident
was that he stayed in the pool.
So his neck never moved
after that initial trauma.
And then the rest of the day's
a bit of a blur, to be honest.
(STRETCHER WHEELS RATTLE)
ED: All of a sudden, there was
lots of doctors around me,
and people taking notes
and talking quietly.
That's when
it started to sink in.
I remember Lois coming in.
She wasn't actually there
with me at the time.
She was in Cardiff.
LOIS: Got a phone call
from Ed's stepmum.
I'd just finished playing Super
League netball over in Wales.
She said, "He's fine. Just...
You just need to get into the
car and get to the hospital."
My initial reaction was,
"Oh, what an idiot.
Like, I'm sure
he's just grazed himself
and he's gonna be fine."
As soon as I looked
into his eyes,
I just knew that it wasn't...
was not good.
He looked so scared, and he was
kind of shaking, trembling,
and I felt like
I was just in a movie.
I just remember
sort of saying sorry.
And I didn't really know
why I was saying sorry,
but I think I knew deep down
why I was saying sorry.
Um... But, um...
Yeah, it was pretty...
it was pretty scary. Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
(SNIFFS) I don't think I've sort
of run through it in my head
that detailed bef... as...
You know, I've told
the story before,
but I've never really sort of
emotionally connected
with it like that.
I remember just feeling
really guilty at the time.
I was just thinking like,
"How could I have done that?"
It was so stupid.
(SNIFFS)
(STRETCHER WHEELS RATTLE)
I was straight back in
an ambulance, going to
Southmead Hospital in Bristol,
which is a neurological centre,
cos they knew I needed
an emergency operation.
I was like,
"I'll just have a quick nap."
They were like, "No, don't do
that. Stay awake, stay awake."
MARK: What we didn't discover
till later
was that that journey
took a long time
because his heart
kept stopping.
They kept having to inject
adrenaline to keep it going.
Looking at his dad, I knew,
cos he's, like,
the strongest person,
never gets emotional
about anything,
and he was just so silent.
ED: I was very lucky that
a surgeon called Mr Neil Barua,
one of the leading
neurosurgeons in the country,
is on call on a Saturday night.
The last thing I remember
from him was him saying,
"There is a chance you won't
wake up from this operation."
We always had a rule
that you never contact us,
or any of us, on holiday, ever.
So if you know you're on
holiday, no news is good news.
And Lois rang,
and she said, "It's Ed."
ED: Woke up from the operation.
There was a lot
of bleeping machines. There was
tubes coming out of me.
I was like,
"This is a nightmare.
You know, they've fixed me.
I'll be fine."
But then slowly
I tried to move my left foot.
Nothing happened.
Right foot. Nothing happened.
I was like, "OK, just...
I'll be able to move my arms."
But nothing.
I was just a head on a pillow,
basically.
I went in to see him.
Um...
Hard, yeah.
And I had to sort of man up
every time I walked in the door.
You'd walk out and think...
(EXHALES)
When his friends came in, there
was one in particular, Souto.
I was with Ed, and Souto
came in and just collapsed.
And, you know,
you could see Ed's face.
After that,
I actually took a photograph,
and I said, "Right, this is
what you're walking into."
I said, "Look at
this photograph." I said,
"Please do not collapse."
Cos most of them
are really big softies.
At the end the day, they are.
Anyway, they'd just collapse
in the waiting room
and go, "OK."
I said, "When you go in there,
you walk in with a smile
on your face
and treat him as if he's,
you know, just hurt something."
And that's... It worked.
ED: I flicked into "make
everyone else feel all right".
And that became
a really good distraction
for me during the day.
Putting that act on
was quite important for myself.
You embody it.
But then at night,
it was horrific.
I was in a pretty dark place,
mentally.
There was
so much anxiety around
was I ever gonna be able
to walk again?
Was I ever gonna be able
to work again?
Would I have to sell my house
to pay for rehab?
All of this stuff
is just going through your mind
when you don't have those people
there to distract you.
Many times I thought, you know,
"I don't wanna be here
any more"
and "What does this mean
for everyone else?"
And especially Lois. Um...
I didn't want her
to have to live with someone
that couldn't
look after themselves,
and it's not what she sort of
bought into and, um...
Fortunately
I couldn't move enough to...
to... to end it all,
so I had to put up
with where I was.
He was trying to tell me to
leave him, even at that point,
cos he was just like,
"I'm so sorry.
You don't deserve this life."
And I think, like, we'd spoken
so much about the future
in terms of, like,
where we would wanna go
and what we'd wanna do,
and it was always, like...
really active things,
so I think that was just,
like, maybe gonna be
taken away from us.
As soon as I told him to shut up
and that I wasn't
gonna leave him,
then that was kind of
that conversation done.
The times when
I really struggled
were when I was on my own,
and it was like the drive
back from the hospital
or to the hospital.
And that's when
I'd kind of break down,
cos I didn't wanna do it
in front of Ed.
ED: The turning point for me
was being told
after nine days by the surgeon,
"You're category ASIA A1,
which is the highest level
of spinal cord injury.
The likelihood is
you're never gonna walk again."
I remember looking down the bed
and seeing Lois sat there.
She had burst into tears.
And my mum sat there,
and she was in tears.
I realised then
that it wasn't about me.
If I didn't have Lois
and my mum there,
or I didn't have people
like that to get better for,
then I wouldn't have found
the motivation.
I saw it in so many others.
Some people had no visitors,
and of course they just woke up
every morning
and just wanted to take
as many drugs as possible
and forget about it.
It was the thing
that gave me the motivation
to spend every waking minute
trying to move something.
LOIS: Oh, my God, Ed,
it's moving so much.
ED: And I just remember
being like, "My toe's moving!"
Then I was like,
"I just need to keep moving it,
cos I don't want it
to stop moving."
So I'm there
just focusing really hard.
People are coming in.
I'm like, "Look!"
I'm not doing that, because
I'm laying flat on my back,
staring at the ceiling.
I'm like, "Look at my toe."
That showed that there was
a connection past my injury,
so all... all bets were off.
As soon as he got
that flicker in his toe,
he was like,
"I'm gonna walk again."
And... And I was like,
"Yeah. Yeah, you are."
- (WOMAN LAUGHS)
- LOIS: Hold Souto's hand.
Hold his hand.
- Even healthier than mine, bro.
- (LAUGHTER)
Mine are purple.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
(LOIS LAUGHS)
- Not much has changed.
- Fucking hell.
(BIRD SCREECHES)
LOIS: Once out of there,
we could start
looking up, really,
and that's when the hard work
kind of really kicked in.
We were like, "Right, when can
we start? Like, we'll start..."
We were already
moving his legs and his arms.
PHYSIO: One, two, three, push.
Come on, boy. Push, push, push.
LOIS: When we met his physio,
Pete, in the Bath hospital,
and he actually took me aside
and said, "We'll get him
walking again",
and then I was like
"Right, let's do this."
PETE: Come on. And again, again.
Pull, pull, pull,
pull, pull, pull...
With Ed, we had somebody
who was exceptional.
Um, all patients
are exceptional in a way.
Pulling back. Good.
But with Ed, we had somebody
with a sporting background,
someone with a huge drive,
and somebody who understood
the benefits of exercise.
Good. Ten! Come on...
MARK: Pete Bishop-Ponte,
who I think
is quite remarkable,
he's a great believer
in intense physiotherapy
for spinal cord injuries
in the very early stages
of recovery.
- All right, nice.
- Nice. Really good, Ed.
Yeah, that's nice.
PETE: Here we had a young man
that just needed someone
to throw him a lifeline.
Someone to say
something positive.
Someone to give him words
based on fact
that he could possibly
work his way and train his way
out of this.
One, two, three, up. Good.
He was exceptionally motivated.
So we have a big gym
in Salisbury
and he and Lois were in there
all hours of the day.
She was amazing.
She was essentially his physio.
The emotional bit
is huge, actually.
Having a great group of friends
who'll still come in
and take the piss out of you.
And a loving partner
or wife or girlfriend.
And just people there
to support you
and keep you motivated
and keep you going.
You can't even
quantify it, really.
Four months later, in August,
Ed and his fiance, Lois,
came to see me in the clinic.
And he walked in.
He wanted a photo, cos he was
doing a blog at the time,
and it was quite embarrassing,
cos I'm only about
five foot nine,
and a lot of jokes were made
about why he was stood
next to a schoolboy.
That was like the biggest
turning point for him,
when he created the blog
and put it out on his Instagram.
He got
so many messages back saying
how much him sharing his story
had helped them,
and, actually, by him
helping those people,
he got so much reward back.
That was the most
powerful feeling,
cos that was me realising
that actually some good
can come from this situation,
it doesn't just
have to be negative.
After nine months,
I'd moved home.
And it was difficult.
It was difficult
to stay on top of the rehab.
I was living with my parents.
In hospital you're in a bubble,
but I was at home,
and it was very obvious
the things that I couldn't
do any more
that I could do before.
SARAH: To start with,
seeing him going up the stairs.
Heart-breaking. Mmm.
And especially
if he's just walking around
in his boxers or whatever.
You know, he's always covered
in bruises and bumps
and scrapes.
You know, black and blue
from falling over. Mmm.
Which you don't see.
Our lives had been
completely turned upside down.
It just wasn't the same at all.
We were, like, learning to get
the wheelchair around the house.
He was learning about bladder,
bowel control, like,
sexual function.
There were so many
new situations brewing
that we had no idea, really,
how to handle.
I felt quite isolated and alone
in my own head.
I looked into his eyes
and I loved him so much,
but something wasn't right.
He'd changed so much.
His whole body, his movement
and everything had changed.
- Whoo!
- LOIS: One of the biggest
things, his smell had changed.
I actually sometimes felt like
I was cheating on Ed,
pulling away
when I was kissing him,
cos he smelt differently
to the Ed that I knew before.
Of course,
he's been through everything,
and that's why
I kept it so quiet,
those thoughts, for so long.
- (CHEERING)
- (LAUGHS)
LOIS: I went and got help.
Don't speak too soon.
And did some work
with sexual therapy
and had that conversation
with Ed,
which was probably
the most brutal conversation
I've ever had in my life.
It played on a massive
insecurity of mine at the time.
I had changed
so much physically,
and, whether I like it or not,
I think a lot of my identity
was wrapped up
in my physicality
and those types of things,
and being a man and, you know,
being a rugby player
and all of those things
that go along with that.
It was kind of the lens through
which we discussed, you know,
Lois struggling as well,
basically.
- Yeah.
- And it opened up
that conversation.
And it was on more fronts
than just, sort of,
what was going on
in the bedroom.
I think when you go through
something like that
with someone,
it's either gonna break you
or, like, make you.
And you see that go
one of two ways often.
And you can understand why
it would break a relationship.
It nearly did for us,
not because of anything...
it didn't highlight any issues
that we had in the first place,
but it's just you don't want...
you're living, you go off
in different paths effectively,
on paper,
but, actually,
if you stay together
and you ride through
something emotional like that,
like so many couples have,
then it makes you so strong
to the point where
you can't see yourself
without them,
because your new life
has only existed with them.
It's like being married
from birth, in a way.
- Which is a bit strange,
I suppose.
- That was a bit weird.
- That was
a bit of a weird thought.
- Yeah.
We realised that communication
was gonna be key
in order just to be, um, yeah,
open and honest with each other.
You can't move forward with
the problems that you're facing
unless you actually
work on them together
and are honest together.
- Would you agree?
- Yeah, massively.
That's why
I've gone into specialising
in relationship coaching,
because I want to share
that journey with other people.
(WEIGHTS CLANGING)
ED: It was another turning point
along the road.
I was so in the midst
of trying to recover
and trying to rediscover
some purpose in my life
and drive forward.
I did go down a bit
at that stage, I think.
I knew I needed
to put something in place,
a challenge for myself,
to motivate me.
I wanted to send a message
to everyone else
who was in hospital
that had also been told
they can't do something
that maybe that doesn't
have to be the case.
I said to my physios,
"At the 12-month mark,
I wanna climb Snowdon."
And they were like, "Excuse me?
What? Um, 12 months?"
"What about 24 months?
Maybe we'll give it a go."
But I knew that if...
even if I didn't get up there,
even if I got
100 metres up there,
people would see me on my feet,
and it would send the message
that maybe some of them
needed to hear
to not give up hope.
I'd opened it up
on social media to anyone
who wanted to come and join in,
thinking a few people
might turn up,
and there were 70 people
there on the start line
who I didn't know.
I mean, the first reaction was,
"Oh, shit, I'm gonna have to
get to the top now."
(CLIMBERS CHATTERING)
LOIS: Snowdon was incredible.
I was definitely there
to support him the whole way.
At times I actually felt
quite disconnected from him,
cos there were so many people
around him, and physios,
and everybody was worried
about him falling over.
So I think at one point
he had to be like,
"We'll walk
the last bit together."
CLIMBERS: Go on, Ed!
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
- Well done.
- Yes!
(CHEERING)
ED: It's one of the hardest
things I've ever done,
but I got to the top
and just had this feeling
that I'd achieved something
for the first time
since my accident.
There was
all these other people
that I was taking loads from,
but also my own journey
was benefitting them.
I remember staring out
and not knowing
how my life would pan out
but knew it wasn't gonna be
in a conventional way,
obviously, any more.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Some of the things
I'm starting to do
is just rewriting the rulebook
in my own head, and hopefully
in other people's heads,
of what is possible
in life, you know,
and what you're capable of.
You don't know until you try.
Finally here in the Himalayas.
Always wanted to come here.
And, as you can see,
it's amazing.
That's Annapurna behind us.
8,000 metres.
Um, one of the highest mountains
in the world.
And it is true what they say,
when you get near them...
Just can't really describe...
can't really describe it,
really.
I remember being sat
in a place called Ghandruk,
and I was staring up
at this 8,000-metre mountain.
And I'd never felt so small
in my life.
My brain almost
couldn't comprehend
the size of the thing
that was in front of me.
I just felt completely,
like, insignificant.
It was an incredibly
sort of liberating feeling.
You know when students are
like, "I went on my gap year
and found myself"?
Like, that actually happened
to me. (LAUGHS)
I felt ridiculous
coming back and actually
telling anyone about it.
I think me and Lois
almost kept it to ourselves.
But that was the moment
we said,
"We wanna try and help people
for the rest of our lives.
We wanna try
and make a difference."
I remember going,
"Right, let's drop everything
and try and start a charity."
We set up a foundation to take
people with psychological
or physical trauma
away on these adventures.
The real reason that I've made
the recovery I have
is because
of my support network,
and I just wanted to pay
that forward to other people.
So people are sharing their
experiences and their traumas,
and realising that it's not
just them going through it.
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
PETE: I have seen Ed go
from a frustrated rugby player
with a spinal injury
to a man with...
much more spiritual
and much more awareness
of people around him
and the environment around him.
ED: Do you feel like
you're in a better place now?
- WOMAN: A hundred percent.
- Yeah.
ED: Life's a journey anyway.
Even if we didn't have
anything that happened,
it'd still be
full of ups and downs.
Sometimes they just get
exaggerated a bit.
WOMAN: Yes, exactly.
Um, Benny boy.
(NDISTINCT CHATTER)
ED: Ben's one of the
beneficiaries of the charity.
He was a paratrooper
whose parachute didn't open.
BEN: I joined 7th Parachute
Regiment Royal Horse Artillery.
This would have been my 15th
military jump, I think it was.
Uh, but I've done about
65 civilian jumps beforehand.
I remember being in the plane.
I was the third... third man
out of the door.
And I remember...
I remember jumping.
I remember looking up,
seeing what I thought
was a fully opened parachute.
I thought, "Right, look at
the floor, see where I am."
And as I looked at the floor,
I hit it.
And when I came to, I just
remember laying there thinking,
"That was a lot harder
than I remembered."
And I thought,
"I need to catch my breath,
I need to catch my breath."
And I thought,
"I've got another jump to do.
I can't embarrass myself
in front of the blokes.
I need to get up."
So I took my helmet off,
and as I went to get up, the
pain just shot through my body.
And next thing I know,
someone's grabbed my head.
He was a medic, and he shouted
out, "He's alive."
And they worked out about 75
mile an hour I hit the floor at.
Just a sheer unlucky accident.
I have no sensation
in my right leg.
I have memory loss,
severe back pain.
I'm on medication
for the rest of my life.
Someone filmed my jump
at that time.
I kept watching it
and playing it back, thinking,
"Where did I go wrong?
What could I have done?"
There was nothing
I could have done,
but I was doing it
for nearly a year.
I was diagnosed with PTSD,
with the effects
of not sleeping
and watching the video
over and over again.
For me, it was failing.
I feel like I failed.
So throughout my life, I feel
like I fail a lot of stuff.
WOMAN: Meeting Ed
has been really pinnacle
in Ben's mental recovery
probably, emotional recovery,
because Ed has such a way
of starting off
deep conversations,
and Ben's not had that before
where he feels
completely comfortable
being so vulnerable.
With me he will,
but with somebody else. So
it's nice for him to have that.
ED: There's a saying,
"The pendulum always swings."
So it's not just
that you'll get through it.
Actually it will go back
positive again as well.
And it's just having
that faith, right?
When it goes negative,
you can do something about it.
But just always have the faith
that it'll come back,
come back the other way.
Anyone else
like to offer something up?
The perspective that the walk,
like, this has given us.
And, like, being able to walk
with all these different people
and, like, make
these meaningful connections.
LOIS:
An intensive bonding experience.
ED: Whether you like it or not.
Forced.
I was in an accident in 2016,
in a bus crash in France,
and really struggled after that,
developing PTSD and anxiety.
One of the things that
I think Ed does really well
is his reframing and finding
the enjoyment in life.
ED: Cool people are people
who completely own who they are,
and whether that is you love
drystone walls or War...
- (LAUGHTER)
- Or Warhammer.
Understand who you are,
what you enjoy, and then
don't be embarrassed by that.
Own it. You are capable of way
more than you think, you know.
We're too quick to be put
into pigeon holes by society,
by our friends, by ourselves.
But getting outside
of that comfort zone,
that's where the fun stuff is,
and the growth is.
WOMAN: It's nice
to just interact with people
who take the fact
you're injured on face value,
and it doesn't matter
that you're looking a bit funny
or wearing a leg brace
or a bit wobbly.
One thing I've found
since being injured
is that an awful lot of
elements of it are very lonely,
and there's an awful lot that
you have to do on your own.
So in that aspect, I love it.
It's really important.
ISABEL: I've got my spark back.
(LAUGHS) I feel like they've
really given me that back.
MAN: A quick pint now?
LOIS: Yes, absolutely.
Celebratory pint.
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
BEN: Cos I've been accepted
as a beneficiary,
I get two or three years
of life coaching from Lois.
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER)
BEN: Hands down, one of
the best things I've had.
Throughout my rehab,
I get told what to do,
or "You need to do this",
"You're feeling this."
So Lois spoke to me
and got the answers from me,
which was the first time,
so, yeah,
it was very, very helpful.
LOIS: It's kind of
a "pinch myself" moment
that Ed and I have created this
and that it's really working.
And what's really exciting is
that it's only the beginning,
so, yeah, it's cool.
(LAUGHS)
LOIS: What if I put
your foot down?
No, no, no, no. No.
I need to get in a better
position. I don't know what...
ED: It's not easy day-to-day
living with
a spinal cord injury.
Fuck.
I can't do all the things
that I did before.
That's better.
I'll never be able
to play rugby again,
or run around with my kids,
or...
not go out
without a catheter bag on,
or use my left hand.
- OK, I'll put a cushion there.
- Wait. Let me roll.
- Are you sure? Just stay there.
- See if I can roll on my back.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ED: Probably
one of those things,
I would have thought
that that would have
broken me, you know.
No, actually. Fuck.
But, actually, it's just...
The perspective piece
is the most important.
Helping others
helps you massively.
It's such a shortcut
to making yourself feel better,
and I think we're set up
like that as humans.
BEN: Ed phoned me saying
that he would like me
to go to Nepal with him.
And I can remember,
I burst into tears straightaway.
I was so happy. Yeah, I thought,
"Oh, this is like a..."
I needed a new challenge,
or a goal.
I didn't have anything,
so I felt like
I wasn't going anywhere.
ED: There wasn't supposed to be
a beneficiary on this trip.
It was one of my challenges
in terms of trying
to get to a new height.
But getting to know Ben,
I realised that he was on
a very similar journey to me.
He's an ex-paratrooper,
seriously fit.
Hopefully he can start
to put things in place
to find some purpose again
and go down a path he wants to.
I know that my body's only got
a certain shelf life,
and it might mean
that it all ends at 40,
but I'm terrified
of becoming stagnant.
(HORNS BEEPING)
Kathmandu is Kathmandu.
You're hit by
a completely different culture,
which is amazing.
The sounds, the smells.
So there was this mad scramble
on social media
to try and find a videographer.
- A thousand rupees.
- And Beetle
was really enthusiastic.
So that's how he ended up
on the trip with us.
- Let's get some face paint on.
- Happy Holi!
ED: Arron's a big strong guy,
he's very fit,
and very experienced
in those environments.
- MAN: Happy Holi!
- ED: Happy Holi!
ED: He also does breath work
sessions and qigong.
He's a great friend of mine
and a great ally
of the charity as well.
Look at this.
Before I left,
Evie pulled me to one side
and said she'd got something
to tell me.
I immediately thought
it was bad news.
And she told me,
uh, she was pregnant.
I spent the whole three weeks
thinking of baby names, really.
(LAUGHS)
ED: We headed
into the mountains,
and I remember just being like,
"Yes, here we go."
Beautiful out here.
ED: Then we were off-grid,
and it was a bit of
a daunting feeling,
because it's not something
we get to do very often
in the Western world.
Not speaking to Lois for a long
time would be very difficult.
We started heading up this
valley, and it was our first
really challenging day.
To become the first person ever
to go to over 7,000 metres
with my type of injury
is incredible,
but to be able to do it with
Ben is even more powerful.
There it is.
Himlung Himal.
Himlung appeared in
all its glory in front of us,
and there's this overwhelming
feeling of isolation,
in a beautiful way.
Ah!
Welcome to the Base Camp, guys!
Yes, mate.
Welcome to the Base Camp.
It's so cool.
BEN: Having no phone signal
was one of the best things
I've ever done.
If you wanted
to be on your own,
you could just be on your own
in your own head.
It helped massively.
ED: It's amazing
when you're in spaces like that
and you have no distraction,
and you contemplate
your place in the world
and realise how small
and, in a weird way,
humble and insignificant
you are,
it's an immensely
freeing feeling.
Nothing really matters,
not the way you think it does,
especially not you.
That's the most poignant thing
about being
in the high mountains for me,
how it changes me,
not physically but emotionally,
when I come back,
and gives me
so much more clarity.
A little pre-lunch hike
with Benny boy.
Air's so thin up here.
It must be about, well,
well over 5,000 metres up here.
But look at this. That is wild.
There's Himlung
in the back there.
Camp One's up there. So,
Base Camp, Camp One, Camp Two.
Three-day climb
to get from 4,900 to 7,126.
Beautiful.
BEN: When I set my mind
to something,
I have to complete it before
I move on to anything else.
Once I got Nepal in my head,
there was no going back.
BEN: After the accident,
I started to feel suicidal.
And I closed my eyes
whilst I was driving.
I got to a real low point
and I thought, "I'm done."
If it wasn't for my family
and my close friends,
it'd have been probably
a different story.
During my school life,
I was bullied.
People always told me
I couldn't do something.
Again, since my accident, um,
people have been telling me
I can't do stuff.
And I wanna prove 'em wrong.
Um...
Up until the day
I left for this trip,
people have been
putting barriers up, walls up.
"You can't do this.
You shouldn't do this.
You're gonna cause yourself
more damage."
But why not?
If I can do it, I can do it now.
Who knows? Later on in life,
I won't be able
to do these things.
I wanna prove people wrong.
I love proving people wrong.
And I also want to show other
people that they can do it too.
(BELL RINGS)
ED: We had to cross this glacier
that was covered by boulders.
And because no one
had been there for two years,
everything had moved.
Everything was loose.
And a boulder field
is like my worst nightmare
when you're unstable.
And for Ben as well.
Oh, oh!
- Do you wanna grab that?
- Move to the right.
- (INDISTINCT)
- Oh, oh!
- Yeah, boy.
- (INDISTINCT)
ED: The level of concentration
had to be so high.
Our disabilities or our
physical limitations, really,
sort of become more obvious.
OK, OK, OK, OK. No, no, no.
Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop.
It's OK. It's OK.
And became more obvious
to the guides as well.
They're thinking at that point,
"How the hell are these guys
gonna even get ten metres
over there, never mind
up this mountain?"
(LABOURED BREATHING)
BEN: You really started
to feel the effects
of the altitude with breathing.
You take three steps
and you're out of breath.
So there's
a lot of silent walking.
I taught myself
to block any negativity.
On the stick and down.
BEN: I can't feel my right leg,
so I had to be looking
on the ground constantly.
BEN: It was hard.
ED: Just mentally the whole time
he's been talking
about the summit.
Yeah, he talks a lot about it,
he's got a point
to prove to people
and he wants
to prove people wrong,
but we're in the mountains,
so it doesn't matter
who you are,
if she decides
to not let us get to the top,
then we won't get to the top.
I just worry
where his head will be
if he doesn't make it
to the top.
He's pushing himself so hard.
And he's just going,
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine",
when clearly he's not.
He's really grappling
with the frustration
of not being the person
he was before.
And it's hard
to let go of that person.
BEETLE: How are you finding
this terrain, Ben?
(BEN LAUGHS)
Does that answer your question?
BIGRAJ: Very, very,
very difficult.
Horrible day. So I would say
this is horrible day.
Very risky.
So... very scary for everyone.
ED: Probably the most mentally
draining day of my life.
At Camp One, you can, like,
look down on the glacier.
And it was just the most
incredible place to camp.
It was amazing. We'd bonded
really tightly by that point.
Especially with the guides
and the Nepali team.
We woke up early,
and that was it,
we were up towards Camp Two.
The first time we'd put
boots and crampons on,
which makes it much more real,
and we head off
into the crevasse field.
Back, back, back, back.
- Back, back?
- Yeah.
ED: So I was stood on the edge
of this crevasse
knowing that there's
a good chance I could end up
falling into the crevasse.
- I'm gonna go
with my right leg. Ready?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
One...
Good, good, good, good!
And just about make it over.
And that was
within five minutes
of getting on the glacier
and was kind of a sign
of things to come.
Ben was finding it a lot harder
than the rest of us.
And he was just pushing
and pushing and pushing.
I was worried for him.
We're likely
to get altitude sickness,
so let's just slow it down.
Go at a pace
that's comfortable for you.
We're all more than happy
to have a rest,
trust me.
BEN: My leg suddenly
stopped working.
I was more angry at myself
that my leg wasn't working.
Really started to annoy me.
Without this. Let's do it.
Oh, come on. Get a grip.
Feel like a turtle.
(COUGHING)
ED: Yeah?
ED: I mean, I was
an absolute wreck as well.
It was knee-deep snow
most of the time,
and it's one step at a time.
And at that altitude,
you've got hardly any oxygen.
I think I was just, like,
I don't know how I'm gonna
get up at ten o'clock
and keep moving.
It's so hard.
Just what I need.
Well done, boy.
The Nepali guides,
they can skip
across the top of it.
Every step, even though
I was in their footprints,
that bit lower, and then
no hip flexor to lift out of it.
Yeah, I was swearing at my feet
quite a bit.
- Yeah, I had a meltdown.
- Yeah, me too, mate.
I had a meltdown as well,
don't worry.
- Night-night.
- Good night.
LOIS: Hello, Eddie, babes. Um...
I just wanted to wish you
a huge, huge good luck
climbing Himlung.
Barry and I believe
that you will get to the top
of this mountain.
No?
(LAUGHS)
But, in all seriousness,
it doesn't matter to me
if you make it to the top.
I am unbelievably proud
to call you my husband.
I'm so excited
for our future together.
And I just can't wait to get
you back down the mountain
and into my arms.
I love you so much.
EVIE: Hi, babe.
Hope you're OK
and staying safe and warm.
I know that your
determination/stubbornness, um,
and your strength and your
resilience is a part of you,
and that's partly why
I love you so much, um,
and I know that that's what
will get you up the mountain,
but I just want you to remember
that there's so much more
to you than that.
So whatever happens, you've
done an amazing, amazing thing.
I really, really love you
and I really miss you.
And I can't wait to see you
when you get back.
ED: I am exhausted. Got just
over a thousand metres left.
I have no idea how this is gonna
go. Ben, absolutely smashing it.
Struggling too,
but so proud of him.
- Boss.
- ED: Thank you, Khajou.
We've stepped out of our tents
into the most incredible sky
lit up with stars.
We wanted to go
across the crevasse field
through the coldness
of the night.
The ice is more stable.
It's much easier for Ed
to walk across.
I got up
and I just threw up everywhere.
Beetle came out and said,
"Ben's not well."
And he had had altitude sickness
through the night.
Raveen will take him
all the way down to Base Camp.
- ED: OK.
- Base Camp.
I think better
to go all the way down.
ARRON: If you push on with that,
and you're being sick,
it's life or death, really.
That voice of failure
started creeping back in again.
But I'd prepared myself for it.
I did a lot of work
beforehand of
I can't control
the altitude sickness,
couldn't control the weather,
so if the weather changed,
then we couldn't get there.
These things
are out of my control.
I remember going into his tent
and just saying,
"Listen, mate,
you've got to 6,000 metres.
You're the only other person
with a spinal cord injury
to ever do that.
Before this,
you haven't even climbed
anything higher than Ben Nevis.
Like, it's a bit ridiculous
that you're even here,
to be honest.
You should be so proud
of what you've done."
And you know what,
he looked at me
and he was like...
he was like, "It's fine."
And I could tell
he was fine with it.
And I was just so relieved.
See you in a couple of days.
(CHUCKLES)
BEN: Ed's the highest.
I'm the second highest.
So I've accomplished
what I wanted.
I've proved people wrong
who told me I couldn't do it.
Rather than looked
at what he couldn't do,
he was looking
at what he can do.
And I walked off into the night
with the other guys there
just with a big smile
on my face.
ED: No, I should be all right
on this one.
ED: About two hours in,
I fell straight through
a crevasse.
Got up and fell straight
into another crevasse.
And that's when I realised
that we were surrounded by them
but effectively walking
over the top of them.
(GRUNTS)
No.
Oh. I'm in there.
ED: Six hours
into our summit attempt,
the sun had started to come up.
We started
the sort of steep ascent.
It didn't feel like you're
getting any closer to the top.
(LABOURED BREATHING)
I remember checking with
the guide, "How high are we?"
And he was like,
"We're at about 6,800 metres."
I was now higher
than I'd ever been before.
OK, so we've been going
for nine hours.
It's fair to say,
it is by far the hardest thing
any of us have ever done.
I'm only 300 vertical metres
short of the summit.
But that could be
four or five hours. I knew
Arron wouldn't turn round.
So I knew I was responsible
for him as well.
ARRON: When Ed finally
collapsed onto his knees,
he started crying.
He was at complete
breaking point.
ARRON: I have never seen him
there before.
He had pushed it
to his absolute limit.
I am done, and I'm doing it
with two legs, mate.
So we've decided
that we will have to abandon
the summit attempt.
ED: It wasn't until
I'd made that decision
and pointed downhill,
I thought,
"Oh, my God, I can't walk."
All of a sudden,
my quad that I'd been working
so hard all the way up there
was just shaking cos it's now
facing down the hill.
And I realised it was
gonna be just as hard
to get down the mountain
as it was to get to the point
where we'd got up.
(YELLS)
Climbing down to the shoulder
took about six hours.
I was just doing
everything I had to do
to get down the mountain.
We got down to the bottom
of the shoulder
to where
the crevasse field was.
We were sat there resting.
I'm absolutely exhausted.
Like, to the point
where I can't speak any more
and my body's shaking.
But I know
we've got to cross this glacier
to get back to Camp Two.
(WIND HOWLING)
We're sat there, and we realise
that all of the snow
that we had walked
across at night, the night
before, that was frozen,
was now soft and we were
surrounded by crevasses.
Bigraj managed to get through
to the helicopter company
on the satphone.
They said, "We can't get
to you. You're gonna have to
wait till the morning."
- BEETLE: So...
- ARRON: We're all huddling
for warmth.
BEETLE:
...it's ten past midnight.
Ed's not in a good nick.
ED: We were facing night
on the mountain at minus 20,
minus 30, probably, degrees.
And it was
just gonna be survival.
Very lucky Bigraj was there,
very lucky Arron was there...
...to make rational decisions
at that point.
I was almost fitting.
(COUGHS)
All right.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
ED: We'd do some breath work
with Arron,
and then we'd do some tensing,
and just keep each other awake.
ARRON: About 7:30 a.m.
Bigraj went on the satphone
and he called the helicopter,
and they said, yes,
they're coming up.
ED: That sound of the chopper
coming up the valley,
just unbelievable
sense of relief.
BEN: Ed came back.
And Ed, oh, Jesus Christ,
Ed looked really bad.
His lips were all scabbed,
his nose was scabby
where it was all burnt.
ED: The first thing I remember
is Ben running over
and me just giving him
a big hug,
and the look on his face
and how happy he was.
BEN: I hugged him and I said,
"Are you all right?"
He said, "That was epic."
I looked at him
and just laughed.
So, yeah, that...
that sums up Ed, I think.
Excuse the feralness.
I've just had my first wash, uh,
in five days, six days.
Um, yeah, we got back to a very
nervous camp this morning.
They'd put up
all the prayer flags and kept
the fire burning for us.
So, very sweet, but also
very humbling at the same time.
Obviously it hasn't
all sunk in yet.
I think there was
something higher
watching over us that day.
The respect I have
and we have for the mountain,
and showed to the mountain
throughout our whole trip,
I feel very grateful
to have experienced
what we experienced.
But I also feel very lucky
that we made it back.
It's not something
I would want
to repeat in a heartbeat
or choose to,
but it's also something
I definitely, definitely
don't regret.
I think every time
that I come close to death,
which has happened
a couple of times now...
you just realise
how lucky you are
to be alive in the first place.
And it's something that...
I definitely
took for granted before.
INTERVIEWER: That trip
really did change your life.
It has changed my life,
yeah, massively, yeah.
All for the better. Yeah.
And I can't thank Ed or Lois
enough for what they've done.
My stress levels
have gone so low.
What stuff I'd usually
get angry at, or snap at...
I just... I just... I took
Ed's attitude of... "Bothered".
I've accepted
that the accident's happened.
I accepted that my injuries
are what they are now.
I don't wanna be setting on
to the next goal straightaway.
I just wanna enjoy and think,
"Oh, my God, what have I done?
What have I achieved?"
And enjoy telling the story,
to be honest.
LOIS: I could see straightaway
how much that trip
had changed their lives.
Ed realigned
what he wants to do
and where he wants to go and
the values that he lives by.
Only accepting work
that is true to him
and that is actually
gonna get him closer
to the deeper things he wants
to do, not the superficial.
- Do you wanna go through this?
- Yeah.
Last year, we decided
that we wanted to help impact
more people, basically.
We had so many applications
and people getting in touch,
but we kind of wanted
to stick true
to our approach of
really changing someone's life.
And with that in mind,
you can't impact
a thousand people
at the same time.
ARRON: Trying to watch the hand.
ED: By changing fewer
people's lives significantly,
the ripple effect is they then
go on and help other people.
But also
their stories being told
means that other people
can see that
to take inspiration
from it.
We wanted to create actual
events around the country
that more people
can get involved with,
and that's Together Outdoors.
So it's like a network,
started from a Facebook group,
where people
who have been through trauma
can get in contact
with each other in their areas
and go on organised walks.
I'm really proud of both
of them. They work so hard.
They play hard as well,
but they work so hard.
In the office, outside,
focused on it.
(CHEERING)
Honestly, I think
this whole sequence of events
has strengthened
their relationship
rather than what sadly
often happens,
which is weaken
and destroys it.
They're both very passionate
about what they're doing.
I mean, you can see,
they enjoy it.
(CHEERING)
(LOIS LAUGHS)
They can see what a difference
it's making to people.
(CHEERING)
Positive emotion
is very healing.
People are more likely
to get better from an illness
if they are positive
in themselves
and are surrounded by people
who feed positivity into them.
LOIS: Yes, Jen! Fist bump!
- I can't believe it.
- Yes!
MARK: It's fairly obvious,
but it is true.
With all the charity work I do,
all the mentoring I'm doing,
it's still healing me.
LOIS: How are you feeling about
the climb with Leo and Waldo?
- I'm excited.
- Yeah?
I mean, scared, but excited.
Yeah, I think it's one of those
which is really gonna...
it's right on the limit of...
I mean, it's beyond
my technical ability already.
LOIS: I still question
why you do these things.
There's a number of reasons.
It obviously helps me
psychologically
keep up with all the training.
- Mmm.
- Which is big.
And hopefully
keeps inspiring other people
to sort of push
their own boundaries.
(BIRD SCREECHES)
Now it's sunk in from Nepal,
it's more doing things
that are, like, risky and hard
but not reckless.
LOIS: Yeah.
Love you.
Rock climbing's not an
adrenaline sport.
It's not about
getting an adrenaline hit.
It's too painful
and too drawn-out for that.
There's unquestionably,
for me at least,
a spiritual element.
It's no coincidence
that most of the best
climbing areas in the world
are national parks.
These environments, these big
rocky features, are majestic.
They're... They're beautiful.
They're awesome places to...
to hang out.
Yeah, wow.
I have...
I still cannot contemplate
how the hell I'm gonna end up
on top of that.
But I have complete faith
in the people I'm with.
And Leo says it's possible.
LEO: Ed's gotta
get himself up there.
All I'm gonna do is minimise the
risk. He's kind of on his own.
It's a real, like, knife-edge
ridge, so it's hyper-exposed.
It's like
the most scary environment.
But the challenge,
I think it's just about
the perfect level
for where he is now.
Being rubbish at something
and being around people
who are great at it,
and every day my improvement
curve's like this,
I'm learning so much.
That curve's never been as steep
since my accident.
I had to learn to walk again
and learn to...
Like, every day's a school day
at the moment.
(EXHALES) So, it's 6 a.m.
The morning of climbing
that thing behind me.
I don't know.
Really excited. Adrenaline.
Like, I feel like
I've got pre-match nerves.
It feels like that same feeling
like before a rugby match,
but almost more intense because
it's so much more unknown.
When I was gonna play rugby,
I knew it was gonna hurt.
God, I love it out here.
It wasn't like I broke my neck
and I was gonna be
quadriplegic.
It wasn't like, "OK, now
I'm just gonna crack on.
It's fine. I'll sort it out."
It wasn't. It's been a process.
It definitely has.
It's kind of realising
that you have to just focus
on what you can do
and what is positive
in your life.
Because if you focus
on the negative side,
it'll eat you up.
Nice one.
ED: I could still be
at the bottom of that pool.
You know, I'm very lucky
that I didn't die.
I do get those flashes of,
"Oh, that's annoying"
or "Ow, that hurts"
or "That takes a long time",
and I have those daily.
But... I mean, not just daily,
but almost hourly.
But that moment of frustration
is fleeting,
cos my brain almost
subconsciously reframes it to,
"No, come on, get on with it.
That's not gonna be helpful
for you."
LEO: So this is where
we'll gear up.
Yeah. I think maybe
a little bit looser.
Just so that I can grab it
when it's further away.
Yeah, that'll be good.
This is a way of me
being able to grab
and move my foot around
and place it on the rock.
Works in principle.
LEO: Ready?
- LEO: Obviously, there's
a physical challenge to it.
- ED: Fuck.
LEO: And a psychological
challenge. It's scary.
Everyone's scared of heights.
But there's also
another element.
- Heart is going.
- LEO: Climbing
is a cerebral challenge.
It's like a problem solving.
It's like a Rubik's Cube.
You have to figure out how to
use the tools at your disposal,
your fingers and your toes
and your appendages,
to overcome this challenge
of getting up the rock face.
It's a very deep thing.
It's very emotional.
And there's
sort of a clarity to it
where you really
have to concentrate.
You really have to focus
on the task at hand.
So you have to be present
and in the moment.
So it's almost
like a form of meditation.
(GRUNTS)
There's just nothing
to really hold on to.
- OK.
- It's all right.
It's not like there's
a massive drop down there.
Yes! Good start.
- (ED EXHALES)
- (LEO LAUGHS)
- That was the first course,
the starter.
- ED: Yeah.
- LEO: This is the main meal.
- Yeah. No shit.
- LEO: Keep it
really slack, yeah?
- Yeah.
ED: This bit's
gonna be difficult.
I've got to try
and get my left leg over.
That's the leg
that doesn't like to work.
LEO: This is gonna be
quite tricky as well.
That's climber talk for, "You're
gonna have a really hard time."
ED: Yeah, yeah, OK.
Quite tricky. Like it.
- Mmm. One sec.
- LEO: Pay attention.
ED: Good?
A thousand-foot drop either
side. Looks pretty terrifying.
Honestly, my heart
is going like the clappers.
I don't know how long
I can keep this...
keep this adrenaline going.
Right, come on.
Come on, you got this.
Steady as she goes.
If my spinal cord injury
was complete,
which I thought it was,
which I was told it was,
then it wouldn't matter
how hard I would work,
I would never be here.
Unless someone dropped me off
in a helicopter.
I would love to have shaken
the old Ed and been like,
"Do you realise how lucky
you are to just be alive?"
I think that I've replaced
a life with a better life.
Yeah, that seems to be working.
Let's put my...
- LEO: Claw jam.
- Claw jam. There it is.
- That's a unique climb.
- The claw, mate. The claw.
It's just where my right leg
goes to, that's the thing.
LEO: The footholds
aren't very good.
There's a really good handhold
up there, though.
Yeah. Gotta get the claw
out of the jam now.
Get out of there. OK.
(EXHALES)
(GRUNTS)
Oh, I've got a spasm
in that leg.
Start bending it.
And break the spasm.
OK. That's a tiny ledge.
Oh, I've got
my right foot stuck.
Ah. Foot's stuck in the crack.
Right. Try something else.
Ooh, no...
I'm not gonna be able
to get my left there,
that's the problem.
Wait a minute. OK. Maybe
if I go with my left in there.
My left leg is now higher
than it's pretty much ever been,
so I don't even know if I'll get
any traction on it, but...
- Is it on something?
- Yeah.
- Hopefully it's steady.
- Go for it.
Um...
You push down with that hand.
Yes! Yes!
(GRUNTS)
Big holds coming up
for your hands.
ED: Yeah, my foot slipped out,
though.
- Go high with your right hand.
- My left foot slipped out.
Oh, yeah.
Yes! Yes! Get your knee on.
There you go. A bit higher.
That's it.
(LABOURED BREATHING)
My God, I feel like
I'm gonna have a heart attack.
LEO: Try not to.
ED: Yeah.
(WIND HOWLING)
LEO: You're nearly there.
Yeah, unclip now.
- Easy now.
- Phwoar.
ED: Not sure
about the exposure, though.
(LABOURED BREATHING)
(LAUGHS)
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that's the top!
ED: Oh...
Oh, my God. Yes!
Oh!
- There you go.
- (EXHALES)
That was... That was
one of the most intense
experiences of my life.
- You did it.
- Thank you so much, mate.
You did it without...
You free climbed it.
That's gonna take a while
to sink in.
Yeah, who'd have thought it
five years ago, eh?
Oh, mate.
- Yeah. Getting a bit emotional.
- So am I.
- Thank you, mate.
- No, it's such a pleasure
to share it.
Mate, it's such
a beautiful place as well.
Yeah. Yeah. It's all too much
to take in, really.
Not just that, but, like, the
whole, "How am I stood up here?"
- Well done, Ed.
- Thanks, man.
- You should be
very proud of that.
- We made it.
What a summit it is. I cannot
believe what we just did.
Well, what I just did.
It was easy for Leo.
Everyone on that whole journey
that got me to that point,
my surgeon, my physios,
stood on top of that mountain
looking out.
And I feel very grateful
to all of them, you know.
Been very lucky
to meet some amazing people
that have done some incredible
things for me and I just...
and it all seemed to culminate
in that terrifying moment.
LOIS: I think that you do gather
a whole new perspective
when you have gone through
a life-changing incident,
when you have nearly died,
and I can feel that from him.
And you know what? It's
contagious. He gives that off.
It's changed my perspective.
I definitely believe that
you can change your mindset
and live a happy,
positive life.
I would say I'm living proof
that you can.
ED: Most of our suffering
is dealt by ourselves,
to ourselves.
I think, at the end of the day,
it comes down to an ability
to let go,
because we can't change
what's happened to us,
so reliving it and replaying it
over and over again
and living in the past is just
causing us more hurt and pain.
And if we can stay
in the present moment,
not fear too much about the
future and just live our lives
like it's a gift to even
be there in the first place,
then that would alleviate
so much suffering.
LOIS: You've got two sticks.
You can't hold my hand.
ED: I think
one of the best ways to do that
is to start doing things
for each other.
You know,
just be kind, be nice.
It doesn't...
It doesn't cost anything.
And those ripple effects
make such a big difference.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(LOIS LAUGHS)
(JIMMY BARNES:
"AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH")
Listen, babe,
ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river
wide enough, baby
If you need me, call
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Don't worry, baby
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry
Cos, baby, there ain't
no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me
from getting to you, babe
Cos you know that there ain't
no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Well, ain't no river
wide enough
To keep me
from getting to you, babe
Oh, no, darlin'
No way, no way