The Phantom Tollbooth (1970) Movie Script
1
[BELL RINGING]
[HONKING]
[SIRENS]
[HONKING]
[VOICES]
[VOICES OVERLAPPING]
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S
SONNETS...
NOW, LET'S GET READY
FOR THE SPELLING BEE.
AFTER THE DISCOVERY
OF AMERICA BY COLUMBUS...
THE FIBONACCI SEQUENCE...
BE SURE TO CARRY
THE THREE.
YOU WEREN'T THINKING...
THE WEATHER WILL BE CLOUDY
WITH INTERMITTENT SHOWERS...
A 12-SIDED MATHEMATICAL...
E=MC SQUARED...
GIVE ME FIVE WORDS
THAT BEGIN WITH "J"...
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID...
JUDGE PRONOUNCED
HIM GUILTY...
BLABBER DOWN...
THE SUM OF THE SQUARES...
[BELL RINGS]
[VOICES FADING]
WHAT'S TO BECOME OF MILO?
WHAT WILL HE
GROW UP TO BE
WHEN HE LOOKS AT LIFE
AND HE DOESN'T SEE?
DOESN'T SEE
THE BRIGHT BLUE SKY
DOESN'T HEAR THE TRAIN GO BY
DOESN'T SING THE SONG
LITTLE FELLOW,
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S TO BECOME OF MILO?
LOST IN A VACANT STARE
DOESN'T HAVE A DREAM
DOESN'T EVEN CARE
HE'S A BOY
WHO MIGHT RISE HIGH
MAYBE EVEN TOUCH THE SKY
ALL THE WORLD COULD
BE HIS PIE
IF HE'D ONLY TRY
MILO, OPEN YOUR EYES
LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEE
SEE HOW INTERESTING
LIFE CAN BE
MILO, AIM FOR THE STARS
YOU COULD TOUCH THE SKY,
MILO
YOU COULD TOUCH THE SKY
WHAT'S TO BECOME OF MILO?
LOST IN A VACANT STARE
DOESN'T LEARN IN SCHOOL
DOESN'T EVEN CARE
HE'S A BOY
WHO MIGHT RISE HIGH
MAYBE EVEN TOUCH THE SKY
ALL THE WORLD
COULD BE HIS PIE
IF HE'D ONLY TRY
MILO, OPEN YOUR EYES
LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEE
SEE HOW INTERESTING
LIFE CAN BE
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MILO
[RING]
[RING]
[RING]
[RING]
HELLO, RALPH.
HI, MILO.
ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING?
NAH...I'M NO DOING ANYTHING.
WHAT'S THERE TO DO?
NOTHING, I GUESS.
NOTHING IS FUN ANYMORE.
RIGHT.
EVERYTHING'S
A BIG WASTE OF TIME.
WHEN I'M IN SCHOOL,
ALL I WANT TO DO
IS BE OUT.
WHEN I'M NO IN SCHOOL,
I WANT TO BE
SOMEPLACE ELSE.
IF ONLY SOMETHING
COULD HAPPEN SOMETIME.
YEAH.
WHAT'S THE USE
IN SUBTRACTING
TURNIPS FROM TURNIPS
OR CARRYING A THREE
OR KNOWING HOW
TO SPELL "FEBRUARY"?
FEB-RU-ARY.
YEAH.
EVERYTHING'S A DRAG.
AND WHO WANTS TO SIT AROUND
DOING HOMEWORK, ANYWAY?
EVERYTHING
SEEMS SO IMPOSSIBLE.
EVERYBODY SAYS IT'S SUCH
A BIG, WONDERFUL WORLD.
HOW COME IT SEEMS SO...
SMALL AND KIND OF EMPTY?
THERE'S NO RHYME OR--
OR REASON TO ANY OF IT.
[THUD]
HEY, RALPH.
DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
HEAR SOMETHING?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
IT SOUNDED
KIND OF LIKE A BUMP
OR LIKE SOMETHING
HEAVY DROPPING.
WELL...
I GUESS
IT WASN'T ANYTHING.
NOTHING'S
EVER ANY--THING.
HEY, RALPH.
THERE'S SOMETHING
FUNNY IN MY BEDROOM.
SOMETHING FUNNY
IN YOUR BEDROOM?
I'LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.
THAT'S FUNNY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
[MILO READING CARD]
WELL, MILO,
YOU ARE NOW
THE PROUD POSSESSOR
OF ONE GENUINE
TURNPIKE TOLLBOOTH.
TURNPIKE TOLLBOOTH?
FOR USE BY THOSE
WHO HAVE NEVER TRAVELED
IN THE LAND BEYOND.
BEYOND?
BEYOND WHAT?
BEYOND YOUR WILDES IMAGINATION, OF COURSE.
YOUR GENUINE TOLLBOOTH KI CONTAINS ONE
GALVANIZED AUTOMOBILE.
[BEEP BEEP]
[SPROING]
ONE BOOK OF RULES
AND TRAFFIC REGULATIONS.
ONE MAP, UP-TO-DATE
AND CAREFULLY DRAWN
BY A MASTER CARTOGRAPHER.
AND PRECAUTIONARY SIGNS
TO BE USED IN
A PRECAUTIONARY MANNER.
HAVE YOUR DESTINATION
IN MIND.
I DON'T THINK
I HAVE A DESTINATION.
RULE NUMBER 8A...
ALL TRAVELERS
MUST HAVE A DESTINATION.
NO JOURNEY IS VALID
WITHOUT A DESTINATION.
FIND ONE ON YOUR MAP, MILO.
WELL? WELL?
"CASTLE IN THE AIR."
MIGHT AS WELL GO THERE
AS ANYWHERE.
CASTLE IN THE AIR.
THE CASTLE IN THE AIR,
BY WAY OF DICTIONOPOLIS,
DIGITOPOLIS,
AND ALL POINTS WEST.
DICTIONOPO--
DIGITOP--
HOW FAR IS IT?
MAYBE I DON'T WANT--
WELL, MILO,
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
GOING OR STAYING?
WELL?
I DON'T KNOW IF...
ALL RIGHT.
GOING, I GUESS.
[DING]
RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED.
BUT IF NO PERFECTLY SATISFIED,
YOUR WASTED TIME
WILL BE REFUNDED.
PLEASE HAVE
YOUR FARE READY.
[DING]
HUH?
STOP!
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
YOU'RE HOLDING UP TRAFFIC.
OH, WELL. IT LOOKS LIKE
A DULL AFTERNOON ANYWAY.
THIS IS CRAZY.
HERE I AM, RIDING ALONG
A ROAD I'VE NEVER SEEN,
GOING TO A PLACE
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF.
I WONDER WHERE I AM,
ANYWAY.
[DINGING]
"YOU ARE ON THE ROAD
TO DICTIONOPOLIS"?
"BEWARE OF OFFICER
SHORT SHRIFT"?
WHAT A FUNNY NAME.
[SIREN]
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYONE SO GUILTY.
SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN,
SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.
SLOW DOWN OR I'LL ARRES THE LOT OF YOU.
HOW CAN I SLOW DOWN?
I'M NOT EVEN MOVING.
OH, IT'S YOU, IS IT?
MIGHT HAVE KNOWN
IT WOULD BE A BOY.
TALKING BACK
TO AN OFFICER--
THAT'S A MISDEMEANOR.
WHERE WERE YOU
ON THE NIGHT OF JULY 25th?
HMM?
JULY 25th?
WHAT'S THA GOT TO DO WITH IT?
DO WITH IT?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
THAT'S WHAT IT'S
GOT TO DO WITH IT!
BOYS ARE ALWAYS FORGETTING
PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAYS.
WELL, I'M SORRY.
YOU HAVE COMMITTED
THE FOLLOWING CRIMES...
UNDERCEDING THE SPEED LIMIT,
A MISDEMEANOR.
BUT I WASN' EVEN MOVING.
WASN'T EVEN
MOVING, EH?
OVERSTRUCTING
TRAFFIC, A FELONY.
LOOK, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING.
NOT DOING ANYTHING...
I THINK YOU'LL ADMIT,
AT YOUR AGE,
THAT'S A CRIME.
NOW, THEN,
WOULD YOU LIKE A LONG
SENTENCE
OR SHORT SENTENCE?
WELL...
I SUPPOSE A SHORT ONE...
IF I HAVE A CHOICE.
HOW ABOUT "I AM"?
IT'S THE SHORTES SENTENCE I KNOW.
IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU
TO GIVE ME
SUCH A SHORT SENTENCE.
AND JUST WHEN WOULD YOU
LIKE TO GO TO PRISON
AND START SERVING IT?
S-S-SERVING?
WELL, I, UH...
I SUPPOSE
I REALLY CAN' UNTIL I GET BACK
FROM DICTIONOPOLIS
AND THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
THE WHAT IN THE WHAT?
WHY,
THE CASTLE IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
BOYS ARE GUILTY
OF EVERYTHING.
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.
"WELCOME TO EXPECTATIONS."
EXPECTATIONS?
BOY,
THEY SURE HAVE A WAY
OF NAMING PLACES
AROUND HERE.
"INFORMATION,
PREDICTIONS, AND ADVICE
CHEERFULLY OFFERED."
WELL, THAT'S ONE THING
I COULD CERTAINLY USE
IS A LITTLE INFORMATION.
"PARK HERE AND BLOW HORN."
ALL RIGHT.
[HONKING]
MY, MY, MY, MY, MY.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME
TO THE LAND OF EXPECTATIONS
AND TO THE LAND
OF EXPECTATIONS.
WE DON'T GET MANY
TRAVELERS THESE DAYS.
WE CERTAINLY DON'T GE MANY TRAVELERS THESE DAYS.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU?
I'M THE WEATHER MAN.
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?
I WONDER...
COULD YOU TELL ME
THE RIGHT ROAD TO...
A DICTIONOPOLIS...
OR SOMEPLACE?
DICTIONOPOLIS?
WELL, NOW. WELL, NOW.
WELL, NOW.
I DON'T KNOW OF ANYWRONGROAD
TO DICTIONOPOLIS.
SO IF THIS ROAD
GOES TO DICTIONOPOLIS AT ALL,
IT MUST BE THE RIGHT ROAD,
DON'T YOU THINK?
AND IF IT DOESN'T,
IT MUST BE THE RIGHT ROAD
TO SOMEWHERE,
MUSTN'T IT?
BECAUSE THERE ARE NO
WRONG ROADS TO ANYWHERE.
DO YOU THINK
IT WILL RAIN?
BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOUWERE THE WEATHER MAN.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M THEWHETHER MAN,
NOT THE WEATHER MAN.
FOR AFTER ALL, IT'S
MORE IMPORTANT TO KNOW
WHETHER THERE WILL BE
A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER
THAN WHAT THE WEATHER...
WILL BE...
DON'T YOU THINK?
WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS...
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PLACE
IS EXPECTATIONS?
GOOD QUESTION.
SPLENDID QUESTION.
EXPECTATIONS
IS THE PLACE
YOU MUST ALWAYS GO
BEFORE YOU GE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
OF COURSE, SOME PEOPLE
NEVER GET BEYOND
EXPECTATIONS.
MY JOB IS TO HURRY
THEM ALONG ANYWAY.
I'D BETTER HURRY
YOU ALONG, TOO.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
BUT...BUT I REALLY THINK
I CAN FIND MY OWN WAY.
SPLENDID,
SPLENDID, SPLENDID.
I DO SO HATE TO MAKE UP
MY MIND ABOUT ANYTHING.
WHETHER OR NO YOU FIND YOUR WAY,
YOU'RE BOUND TO FIND
SOME WAY.
IF YOU HAPPEN
TO FINDMYWAY,
PLEASE RETURN IT.
YOU DID SAY
IT WAS GOING TO RAIN,
DIDN'T YOU?!
BOY, THAT'S THE MOS PECULIAR MAN I'VE EVER MET.
I HOPE I'LL MEET SOMEBODY
WHOSE SENTENCES MAKE AS MUCH
SENSE BACKWARDS AS FORWARD.
[YAWN]
WHAT A NICE SLEEPY DAY.
MAYBE THAT OLD TOLLBOOTH
HAD SOMETHING AFTER ALL.
NOBODY TO TELL ME
WHAT TO DO...
NO DECISIONS TO MAKE...
NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT...
AND NOTHING TO CARE ABOUT...
NOTHING...
MILES AND MILES AND MILES
OF NOTHING.
NOTHING...
JUST NOTHING.
[YAWN]
I WONDER WHERE I AM.
[DEEP, SLEEPY VOICE]
YOU'RE IN DOLDRUMS.
THE WHAT DRUMS?
[ECHOING] WELCOME...
TO...THE...DOLDRUMS.
[SNORING]
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE...
[YAWN]
OURSELVES.
WE ARE THE LETHARGARIANS.
[SNORING]
[MILO]
I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
COULD YOU HELP ME,
PLEASE?
I THINK I'M LOST.
All: THINK?!
DON'T SAY THAT!
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW
TO THINK IN THE DOLDRUMS.
[SNORING]
BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
EVERYBODY THINKS.
WE DON'T.
AND MOST OF THE TIME,
YOU DON'T.
AND THAT'S
WHY YOU'RE HERE.
YOU WEREN'T THINKING.
[SNORING]
AND YOU WEREN' PAYING ATTENTION, EITHER.
NOW, PEOPLE WHO DON' PAY ATTENTION
OFTEN GET STUCK
IN THE DOLDRUMS.
[SNORING]
HA HA HA!
THAT'S SILLY.
HA HA HA!
STOP THAT AT ONCE!
LAUGHING IS
AGAINST THE LAW.
AND SMILING
IS PERMITTED
ONLY ON
ALTERNATE THURSDAYS.
BUT IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH
OR THINK,
WHATCANYOU DO
IN THE DOLDRUMS?
UH, DO?
WHY,
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING...
AS LONG AS
IT'S NOTHING
[YAWN]
EVERYTHING
AS LONG
AS IT ISN'T ANYTHING
SO...
DON'T SAY THERE'S
NOTHING TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS
DON'T SAY
WE DIDDLE AWAY THE DAYS
WE DON'T?
NO.
WE DAWDLE A BI AND THEN...
YEAH, AND THEN WE...
WE LOITER A WHILE
AND DAWDLE AGAIN
PPSSHHHH...
WE GATHER OUR STRENGTH
TO START ANEW
ON ALL OF
THE LOAFING AND LOUNGING
WE STILL HAVE LEFT TO DO
SO, DON'T SAY
THERE'S NOTHING TO DO
IN THE DOLDRUMS
IT'S JUST...
NOT...TRUE
[SNORING]
I CAN SEE YOU LEAD
A RICH AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE.
DON'T SAY THERE'S NOTHING
TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS
I'M READY TO DIDDLE AWAY
THE DAYS, I AM
I DAWDLE A BI [CACKLING]
DAWDLE A BI I LOITER A WHILE
LOITER A WHILE
AND DAWDLE AGAIN
AND THEN WE DAWDLE AGAIN
I GATHER MY STRENGTH
TO START ANEW
TO START ANEW
ON ALL OF
THE LOAFING AND LOUNGING
I STILL HAVE LEFT TO DO
SO...
DON'T SAY THERE'S NOTHING
TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS
IT'S JUST...
[YAWNING]
NOT...TRUE
[SNORING]
[DOG BARKING]
IT'S THE TERRIBLE WATCHDOG!
RUN! RUN, EVERYBODY!
THE TERRIBLE
WATCHDOG!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
HELP!
AAH!
AAH!
TERRIBLE WATCHDOG?
[BARKING]
[BARKING]
[SPLAT]
HERE, WHAT'S THIS?
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
[YAWN]
JUST KILLING TIME.
KILLING TIME?!
[RINGING]
LOOK, SON.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH
WASTING TIME
WITHOUT KILLING IT.
COME ON,
GET HOLD OF YOURSELF.
YOU CAN'T SPEND
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
IN THE DOLDRUMS.
HOW DID YOU GET HERE
ANYWAY?
OH, IT WAS EASY.
I GUESS I JUS WASN'T THINKING.
HA! PRECISELY.
YOU GOT HERE
BY NOT THINKING,
AND NOW YOU'VE GO TO THINK YOUR WAY OUT.
GO AWAY.
I WAS ASLEEP.
[ALARM RINGS]
BESIDES, IT'S AGAINS THE LAW TO THINK.
YOU'VE GOT TO GET OU OF HERE.
I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T HAD
MUCH PRACTICE,
BUT YOU'VE GO TO START THINKING.
TOO MUCH WORK TO THINK.
I'D RATHER NOT DO...
[YAWN]
ANYTHING.
AND LETHARGARIANS
DON'T WANT YOU
TO DO ANYTHING,
EVEN EATING OR BREATHING.
BREATHING?
BUT I'VE ALWAYS BREATHED.
I CAN'T STOP NOW.
THEN GET STARTED THINKING.
THINK, BOY, THINK!
WHAT DO I
THINK ABOUT?
THINK OF BIRDS THAT SWIM
AND FISH THAT FLY.
UH...LET'S SEE...
BIRDS THAT SWIM...
[DING]
AND FISH THAT FLY...
[DING]
WORDS THAT BEGIN
WITH "J."
IT'S WORKING.
IT'S WORKING.
KEEP THINKING!
DINOSAUR INSTEPS!
POTATO ICE CREAM!
UH...POTATO INSTEPS
AND DINOSAUR ICE CREAM.
FASTER, BOY, FASTER!
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID!
DEOSSY-RYE-BANANA
CLUNK-CASTLE!
ALBERT EINSTEIN!
E=MC SQUARED!
ALBERT EINSTEIN!
E=MC SQUARED!
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!
ANTHONY TROLLOPE!
ISAAC NEWTON!
FASTER, BOY!
FASTER! ROGER BACON!
JOHN STUART MILL!
[RINGING]
FEBRUARY,
F-E-B-R-U-A-R-Y!
15 TIMES 86
EQUALS 1,290,
AND CARRY THE 3!
[RINGING]
WHEW! FOR A MINUTE,
I WAS AFRAID
I'D SNAPPED
MY MAINSPRING.
YOU MUST EXCUSE
MY GRUFF CONDUCT.
BUT, YOU SEE,
IT'S TRADITIONAL
FOR WATCHDOGS
TO BE FEROCIOUS.
I THOUGH YOU WERE JUST GREAT,
BUT ARE YOU SURE
IT'S ALL RIGH TO LEAVE
THOSE LETHARGARIANS
BACK THERE ALONE?
OH, I DON'T JUS WATCH LETHARGARIANS.
I WATCH BOYS, TOO.
AND RIGHT NOW, I'D SAY
YOU NEEDED A WATCHDOG,
AND ANYWAY, I JUS LOVE AUTOMOBILE RIDES!
I'M VERY PLEASED
TO HAVE YOU ALONG.
MY NAME IS MILO.
MILO--THAT'S A STRANGE
NAME FOR A BOY.
MY NAME IS TOCK.
WELL, ISN' THAT KIND OF
A STRANGE NAME
FOR A DOG?
OH, NO. HOW MANY NAMES
CAN YOU GIVE A WATCHDOG?
ACTUALLY,
MY NAME IS TICK TOCK.
MY FRIENDS
CALL ME TOCK.
MAY I CALL YOU TOCK?
IT'S ABOUT TIME
I HAD A FRIEND.
IT'S ABOUT TIME?
TIME? BUT TIME
ISYOUR FRIEND!
"TIME MARCHES ON."
"TIME AND TIDE
WAIT FOR NO MAN."
TIME, TIME
TIME, TIME
TIME IS A GIFT,
FLEETING AND SWIFT
TICKING AND TOCKING
ITSELF AWAY
ITSELF AWAY,
I'M SAYING BETTER BEWARE
TIME IS A GIFT,
PRECIOUS AND RARE
TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN
USE ALL YOU CAN, THERE'S NO A MOMENT TO SPARE
SO TAKE A SECOND
TO LOOK AROUND
SEE A SIGHT,
HEAR A SOUND
TAKE A MINUTE TO CONCENTRATE
ANALYZE
CONTEMPLATE
TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
TIME
TICKS
HASTILY AWAY
TAKE TIME
TO SAVE IT EVERY DAY
TIME
SAVED
IN THE NICK OF TIME
IS GOLDEN TIME
[MILO]
TIME, TIME
TIME
TIME IS A GIFT,
FLEETING AND SWIFT
TICKING AND TOCKING
ITSELF AWAY, ITSELF AWAY
TIME TO
SAVE IT EVERY DAY
TIME IS A GIFT,
PRECIOUS AND RARE
TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN, USE ALL YOU CAN
THERE'S NOT A MOMEN TO SPARE
SO TAKE A SECOND
TO LOOK AROUND
SEE A SIGHT,
HEAR A SOUND
TAKE A MINUTE TO CONCENTRATE
ANALYZE
ANALYZE
CONTEMPLATE
CONTEMPLATE
TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
GOLLY!
I'VE NEVER SEEN
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
COUNTRY, TOCK.
WHAT COUNTRY IS IT?
WELL, IT USED TO BE CALLED
THE KINGDOM OF WISDOM
UNTIL THE OLD KING DIED,
BUT THEN IT WAS DIVIDED
INTO TWO STATES.
ON ONE SIDE,
DICTIONOPOLIS,
THE KINGDOM OF WORDS.
IT'S RULED BY KING AZAZ,
WHO HAS AN IRON LAW
THAT ALL WORDS ARE
MORE IMPORTANT THAN NUMBERS.
THE OTHER SIDE
IS DIGITOPOLIS,
THE KINGDOM
OF MATHEMATICS,
RULED BY
THE MATHEMAGICIAN.
HIS LAW IS THAT NUMBERS
ARE MORE IMPORTAN THAN WORDS.
AND OVER THERE,
IN THE MOUNTAINS
OF IGNORANCE,
THE DEMONS ARE GATHERING,
JUST WAITING.
[THUNDER]
AND BEYOND
THOSE MOUNTAINS, MILO,
IS OUR ONLY CHANCE.
THE C-A-S-T-L-E
IN THE A-I-R.
THAT'S
WHERE I'M GOING.
THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
DON'T SAY THA AGAIN, MILO.
IT MAKES
THE DEMONS VERY ANGRY.
AT LEAST THERE'S ONE SANE
AND INTELLIGENT MAN
LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY.
CHROMA THE GREAT.
THAT'S ONE OF
HIS BEST RAINBOWS.
HEY! THERE GOES
THE WHETHER MAN!
HAVE YOU FOUND
MY WAY YET?
I HOPE IT ISN' MILDEWED.
COME ON, MILO,
LET'S GO.
WE'RE WASTING TI--
I KNOW. I KNOW.
WE'RE WASTING TIME.
STOP!
WHAT'S THAT?
HMM. UNLESS I'M
VERY MUCH MISTAKEN,
YOU JUST MISSED
RUNNING INTO THE ABODE
OF KAKOFONOUS
A. DISCHORD.
AH! HO HO HO!
[HONK]
BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?
[HONK]
BUT...
OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL
THINGS IN LIFE
THAT NATURE HAS PROVIDED
[HONK]
A DAFFODIL
A BUTTERCUP
A BIRD
HMM HMM HMM
HO HO HO!
THE LOVELIEST THINGS
OF ALL TO ME
I LONG AGO DECIDED
CANNOT BE SEEN
THEY ONLY
CAN BE HEARD
BANG!
[CRASH]
CLANG! BOOM!
NOISE, NOISE,
BEAUTIFUL NOISE
WONDERFUL, DEAFENING,
EAR-SPLITTING NOISE
WHISTLES AND SQUEAKS
SCREECHES GALORE
JINGLES AND JANGLES
OH, HOW I ADORE
ALL THAT NOISE, NOISE
MARVELOUS NOISE
HORRIBLE, HIDEOUS,
AWFUL, INSIDIOUS
NOISE, NOISE, NOISE
[CRASH]
[CRASH]
YOU DON'T LOOK
WELL, MY BOY.
HERE, LET'S
HAVE A LOOK.
[HONK HONK]
JUST AS I SUSPECTED.
YOU ARE SUFFERING
FROM A SEVERE
LACK OF NOISE.
NOW, THIS WILL
FIX YOU RIGHT UP.
HONKING HORNS,
SCREECHING TRAINS,
BELLS, SHOUTS,
SHRIEKS,
GURGLING DRAINS,
AND ALL THE RES OF THOSE WONDERFULLY
UNPLEASANT SOUNDS
WE USE SO MUCH OF
TODAY.
[CLANGING]
NOW, HERE, DRINK THIS
AND YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO HEAR
A PLEASAN SOUND AGAIN.
NO! NO, THANK YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO BE CURED
OF PLEASANT SOUNDS.
WELL, NOW,
THAT'S VERY UNUSUAL.
HOWEVER,
NOTHING LOST.
I'LL JUST GIVE I TO THE AWFUL DYNNE.
THE AWFUL DYNNE?
[CLANGING]
[RUMBLING]
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
AH, THAT WAS
GOOD, MASTER.
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT,
THE AWFUL DYNNE.
GEE! I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER ME AN AWFUL DYNNE BEFORE.
WHAT? NEVER ME AN AWFUL DYNNE BEFORE?
YOU MUST BE
MISTAKEN.
AND WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING
IN YOUR ROOM
MAKING A LOT OF NOISE,
WHAT DO THEY
TELL YOU TO STOP?
WHY, THE--THE AWFUL DYNNE.
AND WHEN THE STREE IS BEING REPAIRED
WITH ABOUT 50 JACKHAMMERS
GOING ALL DAY,
WHAT DOES EVERYBODY
COMPLAIN OF?
THE AWFUL DYNNE.
RIGHT. AND NOW
MY VALUED ASSISTAN WILL SHOW YOU
VARIOUS EXAMPLES
FROM MY COLLECTION
OF RARE, EXOTIC,
AND SELDOM HEARD NOISES.
[HONK]
DIN?
HA HA HA HA HA!
DID YOU...
EVER HEAR
AN ELEPHANT TAP-DANCE
ON A TIN ROOF LATE AT NIGHT?
THAT'S NOISE
BEAUTIFUL NOISE
DID YOU EVER HEAR
A CENTIPEDE CRYING
WHEN HIS SHOES
DON'T FIT HIM RIGHT?
THAT'S NOISE
BEAUTIFUL NOISE
DID YOU EVER HEAR
A HUNGRY DINOSAUR
HICCUP ON A WINDY DAY?
DID YOU EVER HEAR
A NERVOUS BUTTERFLY
NIBBLE ON A CHEESE SOUFFLE?
HA HA HA!
AH, YES. NOISE IS VERY
FASHIONABLE TODAY.
I CAN HARDLY
FILL THE ORDERS
FOR NOISE PILLS,
RACKET LOTION,
CLAMOR SALVE,
AND HUBBUB TONIC.
YEARS AGO,
WHY, EVERYONE WANTED
PLEASANT SOUNDS,
BUT TODAY,
ALL THEY WANT IS...
BASH! BING!
BANG! BOOM!
POW! CLUNK!
DING! DUNK!
NOISE, NOISE,
NERVE-JANGLING NOISE
BATTERING,
CHATTERING, SHATTERING NOISE
GURGLES AND SCREAMS
ALL OF THAT STUFF
TICKLE MY EARDRUMS
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH
OF THAT NOISE, NOISE
MARVELOUS NOISE
HORRIBLE, HIDEOUS
AWFUL, INSIDIOUS
NOISE, NOISE
NOISE
[DING DONG]
[CRASH]
LOOKS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL
CROP, DOESN'T IT, MILO?
I'VE NEVER SEEN
FATTER Ws,
AND THOSE As
LOOK DELICIOUS.
ARE THOSE LETTERS
GROWING ON THOSE TREES?
WELL, MONEY DOESN'T GROW
ON TREES, DOES IT?
NO. IT'S JUST THA I'VE NEVER SEEN LETTERS
GROWING ON TREES, EITHER.
[MILO] TAKE A MINUTE
TO CONCENTRATE
ANALYZE
ANALYZE
CONTEMPLATE
CONTEMPLATE
TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
GREETINGS.
SALUTATIONS.
WELCOME.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
HI.
WHY, THANK YOU,
AND HI.
BY ORDER OF AZAZ,
THE UNABRIDGED...
KING OF DICTIONOPOLIS...
MONARCH OF LETTERS...
EMPEROR OF PHRASES,
SENTENCES,
AND MISCELLANEOUS
FIGURES OF SPEECH...
WE OFFER YOU
THE HOSPITALITY
OF OUR KINGDOM.
COUNTRY.
STATE.
COMMONWEALTH.
PALATINATE.
ROYAL BANQUET...
TONIGHT...
IN YOUR HONOR.
7:00 SHARP.
BE THERE.
GOOD-BYE.
ADIEU.
ARRIVEDERCI.
SO LONG.
CIAO.
[MILO] BYE.
I NEVER KNEW
WORDS COULD BE
SO CONFUSING.
ONLY CONFUSING, MILO,
WHEN YOU USE A LO TO SAY A LITTLE.
TOUGH PHRASES.
HOT PHRASES.
STEP RIGHT UP,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
GET YOUR FRESH-PICKED
IFS, ANDS, AND BUTS,
RIGHT OFF THE FARM.
NICE WHAT, WHERES,
WHICHES, WHENS, AND WHOS...
GET YOUR HALF-BAKED
IDEAS HERE.
HALF-BAKED IDEAS HERE.
MEATY WORDS HERE.
POETIC WORDS.
SUBLIME WORDS.
FANCY, BEST-QUALITY
WORDS RIGHT HERE.
HOW ABOUT YOU,
YOUNG MAN?
HOW ABOUT A NICE BAG
FULL OF PRONOUNS?
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
OUR SPECIAL ASSORTMEN OF ADJECTIVES.
BOY, WAIT TILL RALPH
HEARS ME USE THESE.
HOW MUCH ARE
THESE, SIR?
WERE YOU THINKING
OF USING ALL OF THEM
IN THE SAME
SENTENCE?
WHY, Y--
YES, SIR.
WELL,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE A BAGFUL
OF HAPPYS AND GOODS
TO START WITH?
VERY USEFUL
FOR HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
HAPPY DAYS,
AND HAPPY-GO-LUCKY.
USEFUL, TOO,
FOR GOOD MORNING,
GOOD AFTERNOON,
GOOD EVENING,
GOOD RIDDANCE,
AND GOOD-BYE!
Os BY THE POUND!
VOWELS
BY THE POUND!
STEP RIGHT UP,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
DO IT YOURSELF.
MAKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS.
BE CREATIVE. HAVE FUN.
START A LANGUAGE.
THAT LOOKS PRETTY
DIFFICULT, TOCK.
I'M NOT MUCH GOOD
AT MAKING UP WORDS.
PERHAPS I CAN BE
OF ASSISTANCE.
LOOK OUT!
A-S-S-I-S-T-A-N-C-E.
TOCK, LOOK OUT!
IT'S ALL RIGHT, MILO.
IT'S JUS A SPELLING BEE.
YES, PLEASE DON' BE ALARMED,
A-L-A-R-M-E-D,
ALARMED.
I KNOW BOYS ARE OFTEN
AFRAID OF BEES,
B-E-E-S, BEES.
BUT LET ME
ASSURE YOU
MY INTENTIONS
ARE PEACEFUL,
P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L
AND YOU DON'T STING?
STING?
HA HA HA HA.
OH, ICANSTING,
BUT I DON'T.
HOWEVER, I CAN
SPELL ANYTHING,
A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
ANYTHING?
ANY WORD THAT HAS
EVER BEEN WRITTEN
IN ANY LANGUAGE,
ANYWHERE.
BALDERDASH!
LET ME REPEAT.
BALDERDASH.
BALDERDASH?
WHY, YOU--
OH, COME NOW.
DON'T BE ILL-MANNERED.
ISN'T SOMEONE
GOING TO INTRODUCE ME
TO THIS LITTLE BOY?
FINE MANLY LITTLE FELLOW.
THIS IS THE HUMBUG,
H-U-M-B-U-G.
A VERY DISLIKABLE
FELLOW.
NONSENSE.
EVERYONE LOVES
A HUMBUG.
OH! HA HA HA!
AHEM.
INSECTIOUS HUMBUGIOUS,
IF I MAY USE THE LATIN.
INSECTIOUS HUMBUGIOUS?
WHY, YOU FRAUD!
YOU CAN'T EVEN
SPELL YOUR OWN NAME.
A SLAVISH CONCERN
FOR THE COMPOSITION
OF WORDS
IS THE SIGN
OF A BANKRUPT INTELLECT.
BEGONE, ODIOUS WASP!
YOU SMELL
OF DECAYED SYLLABLES.
ODIOUS WASP?
HOW DARE YOU!
EN GARDE!
E-N G-A-R-D-E!
[BUZZ]
YIKE!
BACK! BACK!
BACK, I SAY!
DIDACTIC DRONE!
VERBOSE VERMIN!
AAH! BACK!
PARSIMONIOUS
WORD MISER!
OVERBEARING DRAGONFLY!
TOUCHE!
TOUCHE!
T-O-U-C-H-E!
YOW!
[CRASH]
[BUZZ]
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYONE SO GUILTY!
UH-OH!
GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY!
JUST AS
I THOUGHT.
YOU AGAIN!
GUILTY
OF SOWING CONFUSION,
UPSETTING
THE ALPHABET CART--
APPLECART.
CORRECTING
AN OFFICER,
WREAKING HAVOC,
MINCING WORDS...
[RINGING]
AND HAVING A DOG
WITH AN UNAUTHORIZED
ALARM.
[WOOF WOOF]
AND ILLEGAL BARKING.
I SENTENCE YOU BOTH
TO SIX MILLION YEARS
IN PRISON.
SIX MILLION YEARS?
BUT--BUT ONLY A JUDGE
CAN SENTENCE YOU!
GOOD POINT!
I SENTENCE YOU BOTH
TO SIX MILLION YEARS
IN PRISON.
COME ON, I'LL TAKE YOU
TO THE DUNGEON.
BUT--BUT YOU CAN'T!
I MEAN, ONLY A JAILER
CAN PUT YOU IN PRISON.
GOOD POINT!
I AM ALSO THE JAILER.
COME ON, COME ON!
KEEP YOUR CHIN UP,
MY BOY.
MAYBE THEY'LL TAKE
A MILLION YEARS OFF
FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR.
BE, B-E,
OF GOOD HOPE,
H-O-P-E, HOPE.
YOU'LL FIND IT QUITE
PLEASANT DOWN HERE.
ISN'T I A LITTLE DARK?
OF COURSE IT'S DARK.
DUNGEONS ARE ALWAYS DARK.
IF THEY WEREN'T DARK,
THEY WOULDN'T BE
SO UNPLEASANT.
BUT YOU SAID IT WOULD BE
PLEASANT DOWN HERE.
WHICH--
PRECISELY! WITCH.
YOU CAN ALWAYS
CHAT WITH THE WITCH
IF YOU GET LONELY.
THIS IS IT.
ALL THE COMFORTS
OF HOME.
[CLANG]
SEE YOU IN SIX MILLION YEARS!
OH, THERE YOU ARE!
HOW DO YOU DO?
HELLO.
COME IN,
COME IN, COME IN.
YOU'D BETTER BE
VERY CAREFUL, MA'AM.
THERE'S A WITCH
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
WELL,
OF COURSE THERE IS.
I AM SHE.
FAINTLY MACABRE,
THE NOT-SO-WICKED WHICH.
THERE. YOU SEE?
"OFFICIAL WHICH.
KINGDOM OF WISDOM."
OH, A WHICH,
LIKE THE WHETHER MAN.
OF COURSE.
THE WHETHER MAN
IS MY BROTHER.
AT LEAS HE USED TO BE.
I DON'T KNOW
WHETHER HE STILL IS.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
IN YEARS.
HAVE A COOKIE.
THE QUESTION MARKS
ARE DELICIOUS.
WHAT DOES A WHICH DO?
WELL, I USED TO HELP
PEOPLE CHOOSE
WHICH WORDS TO USE--
WHICH WERE
THE MOST PROPER
AND FITTING WORDS
FOR ANY
AND ALL OCCASIONS.
BUT WHEN
RHYME AND REASON
WERE BANISHED--
RHYME AND REASON?
YES, MILO,
WHEN THE TWO KINGS
HAD THEIR
TERRIBLE QUARREL.
WHEN KING AZAZ INSISTED
THAT WORDS WERE FAR
MORE IMPORTANT THAN NUMBERS...
AND HENCE, HIS KINGDOM
WAS TRULY THE GREATER,
AND WHEN
THE MATHEMAGICIAN CLAIMED
THAT NUMBERS WERE
MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN WORDS,
AND THEREFORE,
HISKINGDOM WAS SUPREME...
WHY, THEN, NATURALLY,
THEY ASKED THE PRINCESS
OF SWEET RHYME
AND THE PRINCESS
OF PURE REASON
TO SETTLE THE QUESTION.
AND WHAT DID THEY DECIDE?
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT--
WORDS OR NUMBERS?
THE PRINCESSES DECIDED
THAT WORDS AND NUMBERS
ARE OF EQUAL VALUE.
[TOCK] IN THE CLOAK
OF KNOWLEDGE,
ONE IS THE WARP,
AND THE OTHER
IS THE WOOF.
BUT YOU SEE, MILO,
THIS DECISION
INFURIATED THE TWO KINGS,
AND THEY BANISHED
THE PRINCESSES
TO THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
AND I WAS THROWN
INTO THIS DUNGEON.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DON' SEEM TO CARE ANYMORE
WHICH WORDS THEY USE,
AS LONG AS THEY
USE LOTS OF THEM.
AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S
NO RHYME OR REASON AROUND HERE
AND EVERYBODY THINKS
HE'SSO GOOD.
HEY! MAYBE WE
CAN RESCUE THEM
AND RESCUE YOU, TOO,
MRS. FAINTLY...
IN ABOU SIX MILLION YEARS.
OH, THERE YOU ARE!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER
FOR YOU.
THE ROYAL BANQUE IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
SOUP'S ON.
I STILL HAVE TO SERVE
MY SENTENCE
OF SIX MILLION YEARS
IN PRISON.
NO TIME
FOR SENTENCES.
NO TIME
FOR WORDS.
THE CONDEMNED BOY
ATE A HEARTY MEAL.
PRISONS ARE
FOR THE BIRDS.
JAILBIRDS.
MUSTN'T KEEP
AZAZ WAITING.
KINGS GE HUNGRY, TOO.
ROYAL BANQUET'S
JUST BEGINNING.
JUST IN TIME
FOR ROYAL STEW.
CHOW.
GOOD-BYE, MRS. MACABRE.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL FIND
A WAY TO RESCUE YOU.
BYE, FAINTLY.
WE'LL BE BACK.
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
HIS MAJESTY, THE SUPREME
RULER OF SEMANTICS,
MOST EMINEN CHIEFTAIN OF PARTICIPLES,
LORD AND MASTER OF WORDS,
SUPER SOVEREIGN
OF SYNTAX,
CHIEF POTENTATE
OF ADVERBS AND PREPOSITIONS...
KING AZAZ THE UNABRIDGED.
IF YOU PLEASE, SIR...
[GRUMBLE]
YOUR MAJESTY--
MY NAME IS MILO.
AND THIS IS TOCK,
MY WATCHDOG.
AND WE'VE BEEN SENTENCED
TO SIX MILLION YEARS FOR...
AAH!
SIX MILLION?!
THAT'S NO A SENTENCE!
THAT'S A NUMBER!
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW
TO MENTION NUMBERS
HERE IN DICTIONOPOLIS.
WORDS ARE THE ONLY
THINGS THAT MATTER.
I'M SORRY,
YOUR KINGSHIP, SIR.
AFTER ALL, ME BOY...
YOU COULDN' HAVE ONE FINE DAY
WITHOUT THE DAY,
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
TEA FOR TWO
WITHOUT THE TEA,
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
THREE BLIND MICE
WITHOUT THE MICE,
COULD YOU?
SO YOU SEE, MILO,
WORDS ARE REALLY
VERY VALUABLE THINGS.
IF YOU THINK
A GREAT THOUGHT
HOW DO YOU WRITE IT DOWN?
WORDS
IF YOU SPOT A BRUSH FIRE,
HOW DO YOU WARN THE TOWN?
WORDS
IF YOU HAVE OPINIONS,
HOW DO YOU SPEAK YOUR PIECE?
IF YOU RENT A CASTLE
HOW DO YOU READ
YOUR LEASE?
IF YOU KNOW A GOOD JOKE
HOW DO YOU TELL
A FRIEND?
WORDS, WORDS
THAT'S HOW
WORDS, IN A WORD,
ARE AMAZING
YOU CAN READ THEM,
YOU CAN WRITE THEM
YOU CAN SING THEM
AND RECITE THEM
UNDERLINE THEM
MISDEFINE THEM
THEY'RE AMAZING
WORDS, IN A WORD,
ARE FANTASTIC
YOU CAN HINT THEM,
YOU CAN SAY THEM
YOU CAN PRINT THEM,
YOU CAN PRAY THEM
EMPHASIZE THEM
AND DESPISE THEM
THEY'RE FANTASTIC
STRING THEM INTO SENTENCES
AND THOUGHTS PROFOUND
WILL ABOUND
IN A SYMPHONY
OF SPOKEN SOUND
TRUTH IS FOUND
BEAUTY CROWNED,
IN OTHER WORDS
WORDS, IN A WORD,
ARE DELICIOUS
YOU CAN TASTE THEM,
YOU CAN TREAT THEM
YOU CAN WASTE THEM
YOU CAN EAT THEM
AND DIGEST THEM
I SUGGEST THEM
THEY'RE DELICIOUS
WORDS
SPEECHES.
SPEECHES.
TIME FOR SPEECHES.
Y-YOU, ME BOY,
AS OUR GUEST,
MAY SPEAK FIRST.
AHEM!
YOUR MAJESTY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY--
ENOUGH. NEXT.
SOUP BONES, DOG BISCUITS,
PORTERHOUSE STEAK,
CARPET SLIPPERS.
ROAST TURKEY,
MASHED POTATOES,
VANILLA ICE CREAM.
VEAL CUTLET PARMESAN.
EGGPLANT FLORENTINE.
EGGS GOLDENROD.
JONES SAUSAGE BRIOCHE.
PATE DE FOIE GRAS,
SOUPE A L'OIGNON,
FAISAN SOUS CLOCHE,
SALADE ENDIVE,
FROMAGE ET FRUI ET DEMI-TASSE.
BUT THAT'S MY SPEECH.
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
GOING TO HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS.
NOW, OF COURSE YOU DO.
THAT'S WHA WE'RE ALL DOING. MMM.
YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE
A TASTIER SPEECH.
[BURP]
I SEEM TO HAVE A TOUCH
OF INDIGESTION.
PERHAPS YOU'VE EATEN
TOO MUCH TOO QUICKLY.
TO BE SURE--
TOO MUCH, TOO QUICKLY.
I MOST CERTAINLY HAVEN' EATEN TOO LITTLE TOO SLOWLY
OR TOO MUCH TOO SLOWLY
OR TOO LITTLE
TOO QUICKLY
OR TAKEN ALL DAY
TO EAT NOTHING.
OR EATEN EVERYTHING
IN NO TIME AT ALL.
BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE
JUST AS BAD?
YOU MEAN JUST AS GOOD.
THINGS WHICH ARE
JUST AS BAD
ALSO ARE EQUALLY GOOD.
TRY TO LOOK AT THE BRIGH SIDE OF THINGS, MILO.
I DON'T KNOW WHICH SIDE
OF ANYTHING TO LOOK AT.
EVERYTHING
IS SO CONFUSING,
AND ALL YOUR WORDS
ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE.
HOW TRUE.
WORDS SEEM TO HAVE
LOST THEIR MEANING.
BUT THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
COULDN'T YOU PASS A LAW
OR SOMETHING?
WE HAVE ALMOS AS MANY LAWS
AS WE HAVE WORDS,
BUT THE LAWS DON'T MAKE
ANY SENSE EITHER.
PERHAPS YOU MIGHT ALLOW--
I MEAN...
BECAUSE YOU ARE A WISE AND
RIGHTEOUS AND JUST KING,
YOU MIGHT ALLOW...
RHYME AND REASON TO RETURN?
HOW NICE
THAT WOULD BE.
NO!
NO, NEVER!
NOT WHILE THAT STUBBORN
BROTHER OF MINE...
THINGS ALWAYS DID
GO VERY WELL
WHEN THEY WERE HERE.
I WON'T ALLOW IT!
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT, INDEED!
YES...WHY NOT?
MY BOY,
I CANNOT TELL YOU
HOW IT WOULD SOLVE
ALL OUR PROBLEMS
IF YOU COULD BRING BACK
RHYME AND REASON.
"ODIOUS WASP," EH?
"DIDACTIC DRONE."
HA!
"PARSIMONIOUS WORD MISER,"
IS IT?
PERHAPS SOMEONE ELSE
AMONG MY FAITHFUL COUR WOULD VOLUNTEER TO JOIN
THIS BRAVE BOY
IN HIS EFFORTS TO RESCUE
RHYME AND REASON.
NO VOLUNTEERS.
[SNORING]
"INSECTIOUS HUMBUGIOUS,"
EH?
WE'LL SEE.
WONDERFUL...
A VOLUNTEER!
CONGRATULATIONS.
THAT'S GREAT.
WITH THE HUMBUG'S HELP,
I KNOW WE CAN DO IT.
GOOD-BYE, MY BOY.
HERE, IN THIS BAG,
ARE ALL THE WORDS
AND IDEAS I KNOW.
WITH THEM, YOU MAY ASK
ALL THE QUESTIONS
WHICH HAVE NEVER
BEEN ANSWERED
AND ANSWER
ALL THE QUESTIONS
WHICH HAVE NEVER
BEEN ASKED.
ALL THE GREAT BOOKS
OF THE PAS AND ALL THE ONES
YET TO COME
ARE IN THAT BAG.
GO NOW,
BUT REMEMBER--
USE THESE WORDS
WELL
AND THERE IS
NO OBSTACLE
YOU CANNO OVERCOME.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
AND THANK YOU.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
AAAAHOOHHHH!
[MILO]
WOW, WHAT A MESS!
HOW WILL WE EVER
GET THROUGH THAT?
IT IS OF NO USE, ME LAD.
THE WALL
IS ABSOLUTELY IMPENETRABLE.
HOWEVER,
YOUR HEROIC EFFOR SHALL NO BE UNREWARDED.
OUR ETERNAL GRATITUDE
WILL BE YOURS.
SHALL WE START BACK?
NOW, LOOK HERE,
MR. HUMBUG,
IF YOU THINK
FOR ONE MINUTE--
I SAY, YOUNG MAN,
WHAT SEEMS TO BE
YOUR PROBLEM?
WHO ARE YOU?
MY ANGLES ARE MANY,
MY SIDES ARE NOT FEW.
I'M THE DODECAHEDRON.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT'S A DODECAHEDRON?
AS I REMEMBER IT,
IT'S A 12-SIDED
MATHEMATICAL SHAPE.
SEE FOR YOURSELF.
I USUALLY USE
ONE AT A TIME.
SAVES WEAR AND TEAR.
BY THE WAY, WHA WAS YOUR PROBLEM?
WE HAVE TO GET TO DIGITOPOLIS
TO ASK THE MATHEMA--
THE ONLY WAY
TO GET THERE
IS THROUGH
THE NUMBERS MINE.
NUMBERS MINE?
BUT WE CAN' GET THROUGH THERE.
THE ENTRANCE
IS BLOCKED TIGHT.
MILO, YOU REMEMBER
HOW YOU GOT US OU OF THE DOLDRUMS?
YEAH! MAYBE WE CAN
THINK OUR WAY THROUGH.
CAN YOU REMEMBER
ANY MATHEMATICS?
LET'S SEE.
THINGS THAT ARE EQUAL
TO THE SAME THING
ARE EQUAL TO EACH OTHER.
[CRACKING]
0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5,
8, 13,
IS KNOWN AS THE...
FIBONACCI SERIES.
VECTORS HAVE
BOTH MAGNITUDE
AND DIRECTIONS.
SCALARS
HAVE ONLY MAGNITUDE.
WE DID IT! WE DID IT!
YES. YES, WE HANDLED THA BRILLIANTLY, MY BOY.
'TIS A GOOD THING
WE KNEW
THE FIBONACCI SERIES, EH?
HEH HEH. HEH HEH HEH HEH.
YES, INDEED.
GOLLY! AND I USED TO THINK
THAT NUMBERS WEREN' IMPORTANT OR VALUABLE.
NOT IMPORTANT?!
NOT VALUABLE?!
IT'S--IT'S
THE MATHEMAGICIAN.
BY THE 4,827,659
HAIRS ON MY HEAD,
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S IMPORTANT!
YOU COULDN'T HAVE 1 FINE DAY
WITHOUT THE 1
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE TEA
FOR 2 WITHOUT THE 2
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
3 BLIND MICE WITHOUT THE 3
SO YOU SEE
NUMBERS ARE THE...
WONDERS OF THE WORLD
IF YOU HAD A BIG PLAN,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW BIG?
NUMBERS
IF YOU HAD A HIGH HOPE,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW HIGH?
NUMBERS
IF YOU HAD A DEEP THOUGHT,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW DEEP?
IF YOU HAD A CLOSE CALL,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE?
IF YOU HAD A WIDE CHOICE,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW WIDE?
NUMBERS
NUMBERS, THAT'S HOW
NUMBERS CAN BE DECIMATED,
VERIFIED, MANIPULATED
CARRIED FORWARD, BACKWARD,
AND REPLACED
NUMBERS CAN BE ADDED TO,
SUBTRACTED FROM
DIVIDED INTO,
MULTIPLIED BY, CROSSED OUT
AND ERASED
BUT NOT WITH WORDS
YOU'RE STUCK WITH WORDS
WORDS ARE THINGS
YOU HAVE TO KEEP
HAVE TO WATCH,
HAVE TO WEIGH
HAVE TO MIND,
HAVE TO KNOW, HAVE TO SAY
BUT IT'S AMAZING
WHAT A DIGIT OR 2 CAN DO
WHY ANYTHING
YOU CANNOT FIGURE OUT
THEY FIGURE OUT FOR YOU
AND WHEN TROUBLES MOUN AND THEY BECOME
TOO MUCH TO BEAR
NEVER FEAR
JUST DIVIDE THEM...
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM...
UNTIL
THEY DISAPPEAR.
NOTHING COUNTS LIKE NUMBERS,
NUMBERS
NUMBERS, WONDERFUL NUMBERS
THOSE DEWEY DECIMAL
DEARIES
SQUARE ROO AND MIXED IN A SERIES
THEY GIVE THE HEAR INSPIRATION
NO WORDS CAN BRING
SUCH ELATION
1 TO 9, THEY'RE THE MOST,
POUR THE WINE, DRINK A TOAST
TO NUMBERS
WELCOME
TO MY WORKSHOP.
VERY IMPRESSIVE,
YOUR MAJESTY.
BUT COULD YOU
SHOW US
THE BIGGEST NUMBER
THERE IS?
THAT WILL
GIVE HIM SOMETHING
TO FIGURE OUT.
VERY WELL, SIR HUMBUG.
WHAT'S THE BIGGES NUMBER YOU YOU CAN THINK OF?
9,999,999,000,999...
AND...
9/10.
VERY GOOD.
NOW ADD 1 TO IT.
ADD 1?
NOW ADD 1 TO THAT.
ADD 1 AGAIN.
ADD 1 AGAIN.
ADD 1 AGAIN AND 1 AGAIN.
BUT HE'D NEVER
BE ABLE TO STOP THAT WAY.
NEVER.
FOR THE NUMBER
YOU HOPE FOR IS ALWAYS
AT LEAST 1 MORE
THAN THE ONE YOU HAD.
AND THAT'S SO LARGE
THAT IF YOU STARTED
SAYING IT YESTERDAY,
YOU WOULDN'T FINISH
'TIL TOMORROW.
I HOPE THAT'S CLEAR.
NOTHING'S
VERY CLEAR TO ME,
HERE OR
IN DICTIONOPOLIS.
RIGHT!
IT'S ALL THE FAUL OF THAT WRETCHED
BROTHER OF MINE--KING AZAZ!
EVER SINCE
THE LITTLE PRINCESSES LEFT,
NOTHING MAKES SENSE...
AND IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!
AHEM!
IF YOU PLEASE, SIR,
WE'D LIKE TO RESCUE
RHYME AND REASON.
RESCUE RHYME AND REASON?!
RESCUE RHYME AND REASON?
WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA!
WAIT! HAS AZAZ
AGREED TO IT?
YES, SIR,
HE HAS.
THEN I DON'T.
WE'VE NEVER AGREED
ON ANYTHING AND WE NEVER WILL.
AND IF I CAN PROVE
OTHERWISE,
CAN WE HAVE PERMISSION
TO GO?
OF COURSE.
OF COURSE.
VERY WELL, THEN.
NOW, IF AZAZ AGREES
WITH SOMETHING,
THEN YOU DISAGREE.
CORRECT?
CORRECT.
AND ANYTHING AZAZ
DISAGREES WITH,
YOU AGREE.
IS THAT CORRECT?
CORRECT.
THEN EACH OF YOU
AGREES
THAT HE WILL DISAGREE
WITH THE OTHER. RIGHT?
RIGHT.
THEN YOU ADMIT THA YOU DO AGREE WITH AZAZ
ABOUT SOMETHING.
YOU AGREE
ABOUT DISAGREEING.
I'VE BEEN TRICKED!
AGAIN,
I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR SHOWING ME
HOW FOOLISH
AND STUPID I'VE BEEN.
BUT THIS GIF CAN SUPPLY YOU
WITH ALL THE NUMBERS,
THEOREMS, EQUATIONS,
AND MATHEMATICAL IDEAS
THE WORLD
HAS EVER KNOWN
OR EVER WILL KNOW.
USE IT WELL
AND THERE IS NOTHING
IT CAN'T DO FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
GOOD-BYE
AND GOOD LUCK.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE!
TOCK, LOOK.
IS THAT A DEMON?
QUICK,
LET'S GO BACK.
NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S THE MAN
I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
THAT'S CHROMA THE GREAT,
THE ONE SANE MAN LEF IN THIS COUNTRY.
YOU MEAN THE ONE
WHO CONDUCTS RAINBOWS
AND SUNRISES AND SUNSETS
AND THINGS?
RIGHT. WE'RE LUCKY.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S READY
TO CONDUCT TODAY'S SUNSET.
WATCH.
THAT WAS A VERY
BEAUTIFUL SUNSET, SIR.
WHY, THANK YOU, SON.
I'VE ONLY BEEN
PRACTICING
SINCE THE WORLD
BEGAN.
SOMETIME I'LL GET I JUST RIGHT.
I THOUGH IT WAS PERFECT.
YOU OUGHT TO SEE
MY LIGHTNING
AND FIREWORKS.
[YAWNS]
WELL, GOOD NIGHT,
MY BOY.
DON'T FORGE TO WAKE ME AT 5:23
FOR THE SUNRISE.
OH, I REALLY, REALLY
MUST GET SOME SLEEP.
MILO. MILO. COME ON.
WE'RE WASTING TIME.
I CAN'T.
I HAVE TO WAKE CHROMA
FOR THE SUNRISE.
WHY DON'T YOU
CONDUCT THE SUNRISE
YOURSELF, MILO?
SAVE US A LOT OF TIME,
AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO
DISTURB CHROMA AT ALL.
HEY, THAT'S
A GREAT IDEA.
I'LL DO IT.
WHY, YOU FOOL!
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM
TO DO THAT FOR?
DO YOU KNOW WHA TROUBLE HE CAN--
[TAPPING]
NO, MILO. NO.
OH, NO.
COME ON. COME ON.
WE HAVE TO
GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE CHROMA
WAKES UP.
NOW THERE'S
NO SENSE ANYPLACE,
AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
NAMES. I MUS HAVE YOUR NAMES
BEFORE YOU CAN
PROCEED.
UH, THIS IS
THE HUMBUG.
THIS IS TOCK,
AND MY NAME
IS MILO.
NOW CAN WE GO?
OH, I HAVEN'T HAD
AN "M" IN AGES.
NOW THEN,
IF YOU'LL JUST TELL ME
WHEN YOU WERE BORN,
WHERE YOU WERE BORN,
WHY YOU WERE BORN,
HOW OLD YOU ARE,
HOW OLD YOU WERE THEN,
WHAT GRADE YOU'RE IN.
YOUR SHOE SIZE, SHIRT SIZE,
COLLAR SIZE, HAT SIZE,
AND THE NAMES
AND BANK REFERENCES
OF SIX PEOPLE WHO CAN
VERIFY THIS INFORMATION.
THEN YOU CAN GO.
WHAT DO YOU NEED
ALL THIS FOR?
WE'RE IN A HURRY.
I'M THE OFFICIAL
SENSES TAKER.
I MUST HAVE
THIS INFORMATION
BEFORE I TAKE
YOUR SENSES.
SO, NOW, IF YOU WILL FILL OU IN TRIPLICATE
YOUR HEIGHT, YOUR WEIGHT,
HOW MANY ICE-CREAM CONES
YOU EAT IN A WEEK.
HOW MANY YOU DON' EAT IN A WEEK.
WE CAN'T WASTE THE TIME.
WE'VE GOT TO GET TO
THE CASTLE IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
THAT DOES IT!
NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE
YOUR SENSE OF DUTY,
YOUR SENSE OF PROPORTION,
AND ESPECIALLY
YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION!
MILO, THE BOTTLE
OF LAUGHTER.
USE THIS BOTTLE OF LAUGHTER
I GOT FROM DR. DISCHORD.
HE CAN'T TAKE AWAY
OUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
[LAUGHING]
STOP THAT!
HEE HEE HEE!
STOP THAT!
STOP THAT AT...
AT ONCE.
STOP.
STOP.
HELLO, LITTLE BOY.
HUH?
WELCOME TO YOU,
YOUR FAITHFUL DOG,
AND THAT HANDSOME
GENTLEMAN.
I'M SO TERRIBLY HAPPY
TO SEE ALL OF YOU,
BUT BEFORE YOU TRAVEL ON,
I WONDER IF YOU COULD
SPARE ME A LITTLE TIME
TO ASSIST ME WITH
A FEW TRIVIAL TASKS.
WHY, OF COURSE.
WE'RE IN NO HURRY.
DON'T DO IT, MILO.
BUT, TOCK, WE NEED ALL
THE FRIENDS WE CAN GET UP HERE.
BESIDES, IT'S ONLY
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
NOW, YOUNG MAN,
IF YOU'LL JUST TAKE
THOSE EXQUISITE TWEEZERS
AND MOVE
THIS PILE OF SAND
FROM HERE TO HERE.
WITH THESE?
OF COURSE.
AND YOU, SIR,
HAVE THE PRIVILEGE
OF TAKING
THIS DELICATE NEEDLE
AND DIGGING A HOLE
THROUGH THIS CLIFF.
WHY, THANK YOU, SIR.
AN EXACTING
ASSIGNMENT,
QUITE WORTHY OF MY TALENTS.
I SHALL ENJOY IT NO END.
DON'T BE A FOOL, BUG.
I THINK THIS BIRD
IS THE TERRIBLE--
AND YOU, SIR GET TO TAKE
THIS EYEDROPPER
AND EMPTY THAT WELL.
BUT THESE TASKS DON' SEEM VERY IMPORTANT.
OF COURSE
THEY'RE NOT IMPORTANT.
IF YOU'LL ALWAYS DO THE
EASY AND USELESS JOBS,
YOU'LL
NEVER HAVE TO WORRY
ABOU THE IMPORTANT ONES.
RIGHT.
NOW I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
YOU'RE THE TERRIBLE TRIVIUM.
QUITE CORRECT.
THE TERRIBLE TRIVIUM--
DEMON OF PETTY TASKS
AND WORTHLESS JOBS,
OGRE OF WASTED EFFORT.
COME ON, HUMBUG.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
AND FRIEND TO LAZY
AND FOOLISH PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.
[BARKING]
RUN, MILO! RUN!
COME BACK.
COME BACK.
THERE ARE SO MANY
THINGS TO TAKE AWAY
AND THINGS
TO BRING BACK.
SO MANY STAMPS TO LICK,
SO MANY PENCILS
TO SHARPEN.
THERE ARE SO MANY
HOLES TO DIG.
SO MANY NAILS
TO STRAIGHTEN.
SO MANY DOODLES
TO DOODLE.
SO MANY GOOFS
TO OFF.
COME BACK.
THERE ARE SO MANY
USELESS THINGS YET TO DO.
THERE ARE STRINGS
TO TIE,
NITS TO PICK,
FINGERNAILS TO BITE,
PAPER CLIPS TO UNBEND--
[GASP]
LIVES TO SAVE!
RUN. RUN. HE'S
STILL AFTER YOU.
THIS WAY.
THIS WAY. HURRY!
I'M YOUR FRIEND.
UP HERE, QUICKLY.
I'LL HELP YOU.
GOOD. GOOD.
STRAIGHT AHEAD.
HURRY!
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
YEOW!
[THUD]
WHA HA HA HA!
I TRAPPED YOU, DIDN'T I?
I'M THE LONG-NOSED,
GREEN-EYED, CURLY-HAIRED,
WIDE-MOUTHED, BOWLEGGED,
BIG-FOOTED MONSTER,
AND IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.
I'M ONE OF THE MOS DREADED FIENDS
IN THE WHOLE WIDE
WILDERNESS!
HA HA HA HA!
IT SOUNDS LIKE
WE'RE DOOMED.
SOUNDS IS RIGHT.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I'VE LEARNED AROUND HERE,
IT'S THAT PEOPLE AREN' ALWAYS WHAT THEY SAY THEY ARE.
WITH AWFUL, HIDEOUS ME HERE,
YOU WOULDN'T DARE
TRY TO ESCAPE.
WHA HA HA HA!
WHY, I'LL TEAR ANYONE APAR THAT TRIES TO
GET OUT OF THERE!
FOR I'M THE LONG-NOSED,
GREEN-EYED, CURLY-HAIRED,
WIDE-MOUTHED, THICK-NECKED,
BROAD-SHOULDERED,
ROUND-BODIED,
SHORT-ARMED, BOWLEGGED,
BIG-FOOTED MONSTER!
ONE FALSE MOVE
AND I'LL...
I'LL--I'LL CHEW UP
THE LOT OF YOU.
I'LL--I'LL RIP YOU TO RIBBONS.
[WHISTLING]
I'LL SHRED YOU TO...
TO HAMBURGER.
I'LL...I'LL...
ACTUALLY, I'M THE DEMON
OF INSINCERITY.
I DON'T MEAN WHAT I SAY.
I DON'T MEAN WHAT I DO.
I'M JUST MEAN,
I GUESS.
NOW YOU HAVE TO
GO AND SPOIL EVERYTHING.
[SOBBING]
IF HE'S TYPICAL
OF THE MONSTERS
AROUND HERE,
WE HAVE NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
IT'S THE GELATINOUS
GIANT.
AND WHA HAVE WE HERE?
AHA! I SEE.
BREAKFAST.
[MILO]
WAIT. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.
AN IDEA? [GROANS]
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I CAN'T SWALLOW,
IT'S AN IDEA.
WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT I HAVE A BAGFUL
OF ALL THE IDEAS
IN THE WORLD RIGHT HERE.
NO. NO, NO, NO.
DON'T OPEN IT.
LEAVE WELL ENOUGH
ALONE.
DON'T TAKE CHANCES.
KEEP THINGS
AS THEY ARE.
CHANGES ARE
SO FRIGHTENING.
NO...NEW...
IDEAS...
TOCK, HUMBUG, LOOK!
THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR!
AT LAS WE'VE MADE IT!
OH, VICTORY!
AH HA HA!
VICTORY AT LAST!
WE'VE DONE IT!
PERSEVERANCE
PREVAILS.
NO PROBLEMS.
CLEAR SAILING.
[GULP]
THE DEMONS OF IGNORANCE.
DOWN WITH THE ENEMIES
OF IGNORANCE!
THERE THEY ARE!
GET 'EM!
THERE'S THE HORRIBLE
HOPPING HINDSIGH AND THE GORGONS
OF HATE AND MALICE.
THERE'S
THE THREADBARE EXCUSE.
WH-WH-WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO NOW?
DO? WHY, WE'RE GOING TO
MAKE A STAND RIGHT HERE.
I THINK JUMPING
MIGHT BE SAFER.
KING AZAZ
AND THE MATHEMAGICIAN
SAID THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN'T DO
IF I USE
WORDS AND NUMBERS RIGHT.
AND I HAVE A HUNCH
IF I USE THEM TOGETHER,
THEN I CAN DO ANYTHING.
NOW, WHO'S FIRST?
THERE'S THE HIDEOUS
TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE.
TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE.
HMM, LET'S SEE.
V FOR VICTORY OVER
TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE.
NOW, IF YOU TAKE AWAY
THE TWO FACES,
THAT LEAVES V OVER (h).
FORTHRIGHT.
THIS SHOULD BE THE ANSWER.
ALL WE NEED IS A 4.
WELL DONE, ME BOY.
WELL DONE.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I CAN'T ABIDE,
IT'S A HYPOCRITE.
MILO, QUICK.
IT'S THE OVERBEARING
KNOW-IT-ALL.
YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME
AND MINDED YOU OWN BUSINESS.
YOU NEVER LISTEN
TO YOUR BETTERS.
I TRIED TO TELL YOU,
BUT, OH, NO.
I'M ALWAYS RIGH ABOUT THESE THINGS.
I THINK I KNOW
JUST THE WORD FOR HIM.
HUMILITY.
THIS SHOULD
DO THE JOB NICELY.
I TOLD YOU,
I TOLD YOU--
THERE ARE SO MANY
THINGS TO TAKE AWAY
AND THINGS
TO BRING BACK.
SO MANY HOLES TO DIG.
SO MANY DOODLES
TO DOODLE.
SO MANY
USELESS THINGS YET TO DO.
UH-OH.
RUN, EVERYBODY! RUN!
[BARKING]
TOCK, TOCK,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
PLEASE SAY
SOMETHING, TOCK.
PLEASE TICK OR SOMETHING.
HE'S NOT TICKING.
OH, HUMBUG.
HIS MAINSPRING'S
BROKEN.
HE'S STOPPED TICKING.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
WATCH HIM NOW.
I'VE GOT TO GE RHYME AND REASON.
HURRY, MILO, HURRY.
WELCOME, MILO,
TO THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
BUT HOW DO YOU
KNOW WHO I AM?
ARE YOU
THE PRINCESSES?
YES, MY DEAR.
THIS IS MY SISTER,
THE PRINCESS
OF SWEET RHYME,
AND I AM CALLED
THE PRINCESS
OF PURE REASON.
AND AS FOR KNOWING
WHO YOU ARE,
WHY, WE SEN FOR YOU.
SENT FOR ME?
YES.
YOU SEE, MILO,
WE HAD TO
FIND A BOY
WHO WAS SO BORED,
HE WOULD GO ANYWHERE
AND DO
ALMOST ANYTHING
TO GET AWAY
FROM IT ALL.
ONLY SUCH A BOY
COULD RESCUE US.
BUT HE ALSO HAD TO
HAVE COURAGE AND CURIOSITY
AND KINDNESS.
THAT'S WHY WE CHOSE YOU.
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW.
I'VE MADE
SO MANY MISTAKES.
I'VE MESSED UP
THE WHOLE SKY, AND I--
NEVER FEEL BADLY
ABOUT MAKING MISTAKES,
BECAUSE OFTEN
YOU LEARN MORE
BY BEING WRONG
FOR RIGHT REASONS...
THAN BY BEING RIGH FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
WHAT ABOUT TOCK?
HE'S BROKEN...
OR DEAD OR RUN DOWN
OR WHATEVER
WATCHDOGS DO.
WE'VE GOT TO
HELP HIM.
WE CAN HELP EVERYONE
NOW, MILO.
YOU MEAN NOW THAT KING AZAZ
AND THE MATHEMAGICIAN
HAVE AGREED TO DISAGREE?
YES, MILO.
NOW THAT YOU'VE
HELPED THEM UNDERSTAND
HOW FOOLISH THEY WERE
TO DISAGREE AT ALL.
BUT HOW
CAN WE GET DOWN?
THE STAIRWAY IS GONE.
WE THINK YOU MEAN
WHETHERWE CAN GET DOWN,
DON'T YOU, MILO?
BECAUSE UNLESS
I'M MISTAKEN,
HERE COMES YOUR OLD
FRIEND THE WHETHER MAN.
WELL, NOW.
WELL, NOW. WELL, NOW.
IF IT ISN'T THE LITTLE BOY
WHO GOT LOS TRYING TO FIND HIS WAY.
EXPECT EVERYTHING,
I ALWAYS SAY,
AND THE UNEXPECTED
NEVER HAPPENS.
BUT NEVER MIND THAT.
WHAT YOU REALLY NEED NOW
IS A "HOW," ISN'T IT?
AND PERHAPS A "HERE"
TO GO WITH IT?
WITH A "HERE'S HOW,"
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
OH, AND IT'S ALSO
AN EXCELLENT WAY
OF GETTING FROM
ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER.
HERE'S HOW.
[TICKING]
[RINGING]
OH, TOCK...
HEH HEH...
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
EGAD, I'M GORGEOUS.
COME ALONG. COME ALONG.
COME ALONG.
WE DON'T WANT TO MISS
THE GREAT CELEBRATION.
[RINGING]
WHEW!
I REALLY THOUGH I'D BUSTED MY MAINSPRING.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, LAD?
OH, YES.
AND LOOK, TOCK,
RHYME AND REASON
ARE STRAIGHTENING OU THE MESS
I MADE OF THE SKY.
AH, 5:23,
RIGHT ON TIME.
HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN
BY ALL MEN
THAT RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
TIME IS MADE
THE MOST OF NOW
EVEN SECONDS COUN TIME, WE SAY,
WE BOAST OF NOW
AS OUR SAVINGS MOUN HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN BY ALL
EVERYONE'S INNOCEN UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
INNOCENT. INNOCENT.
INNOCENT, INNOCENT,
INNOCENT, INNOCENT, INNOCENT.
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
HEREWITH AND THEREWITH
LET EVERYONE
TAKE NOTE NOW
THAT SENSE AND SANITY
PREVAIL
WHEN WE LOOK,
WE SEE AGAIN
BLISS AND HAPPY TEARS
MELODIES FLOAT FREE AGAIN,
DISCHORDS DISAPPEAR
HEREWITH AND THEREWITH,
LET IT BE KNOWN BY ALL
A-L-L.
ALL.
SENSE AND SANITY PREVAIL
SENSE AND SANITY PREVAIL
HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN
BY EACH MAN
THAT RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
NUMBERS ALL
ADD UP AGAIN
WORDS ARE
FOR THE WISE
UP, EVERYONE,
WITH CUP AGAIN
REASON'S ON THE RISE
HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN BY ALL
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
SENSE AND SANITY PREVAIL
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
[AH-OOH-GA]
[AH-OOH-GA]
WHERE ARE YOU,
MILO? MILO?
RALPH, ARE YOU
STILL THERE?
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES?
WHERE HAVE I BEEN
THE LAST FIVE MINUTES?
FIVE MINUTES?
RALPH, ARE YOU CRAZY?
LISTEN, LISTEN.
CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
I'VE JUST COME BACK
FROM THE MOST WONDERFUL
PLACE IN THE WORLD.
AND, RALPH, GUESS WHAT.
I MESSED UP A SUNRISE.
THAT'S SILLY.
HOW DO YOU
MESS UP A SUNRISE?
SOMEBODY
HAS TO CONDUCT IT.
HOW ELSE WOULD YOU
GET THE REDS
AND THE ORANGES
AND THE YELLOWS?
RALPH,
ARE YOU LISTENING?
RALPH, ARE YOU THERE?
I CAN'T TALK
TO YOU NOW.
SOMETHING FUNNY'S
IN MY BEDROOM.
SOMETHING FUNNY
IN YOUR BEDROOM?
YEAH. IT'S A BIG BOX.
A BIG BOX?
OH, BOY.
TIME IS A GIFT,
PRECIOUS AND RARE
TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN
EYES ARE A GIFT,
GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE WORLD TO SEE
LIFE IS A GIFT,
GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
NO HOPE
IS TOO HIGH, MILO
NO HOPE IS TOO HIGH, MILO
NO DREAM TOO BIG TO DREAM
YOU CAN CLIMB A CLOUD
TO A SUNSHINE BEAM
POLISH UP YOUR SILVER SPOON
SAY THE WORD
AND CALL THE TUNE
ALL THE WORLD'S
YOUR DREAM BALLOON
COME AND CATCH THE MOON
MILO, OPEN YOUR EYES
LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEE
SEE HOW WONDERFUL
LIFE CAN BE
MILO
MILO
[BELL RINGING]
[HONKING]
[SIRENS]
[HONKING]
[VOICES]
[VOICES OVERLAPPING]
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S
SONNETS...
NOW, LET'S GET READY
FOR THE SPELLING BEE.
AFTER THE DISCOVERY
OF AMERICA BY COLUMBUS...
THE FIBONACCI SEQUENCE...
BE SURE TO CARRY
THE THREE.
YOU WEREN'T THINKING...
THE WEATHER WILL BE CLOUDY
WITH INTERMITTENT SHOWERS...
A 12-SIDED MATHEMATICAL...
E=MC SQUARED...
GIVE ME FIVE WORDS
THAT BEGIN WITH "J"...
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID...
JUDGE PRONOUNCED
HIM GUILTY...
BLABBER DOWN...
THE SUM OF THE SQUARES...
[BELL RINGS]
[VOICES FADING]
WHAT'S TO BECOME OF MILO?
WHAT WILL HE
GROW UP TO BE
WHEN HE LOOKS AT LIFE
AND HE DOESN'T SEE?
DOESN'T SEE
THE BRIGHT BLUE SKY
DOESN'T HEAR THE TRAIN GO BY
DOESN'T SING THE SONG
LITTLE FELLOW,
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S TO BECOME OF MILO?
LOST IN A VACANT STARE
DOESN'T HAVE A DREAM
DOESN'T EVEN CARE
HE'S A BOY
WHO MIGHT RISE HIGH
MAYBE EVEN TOUCH THE SKY
ALL THE WORLD COULD
BE HIS PIE
IF HE'D ONLY TRY
MILO, OPEN YOUR EYES
LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEE
SEE HOW INTERESTING
LIFE CAN BE
MILO, AIM FOR THE STARS
YOU COULD TOUCH THE SKY,
MILO
YOU COULD TOUCH THE SKY
WHAT'S TO BECOME OF MILO?
LOST IN A VACANT STARE
DOESN'T LEARN IN SCHOOL
DOESN'T EVEN CARE
HE'S A BOY
WHO MIGHT RISE HIGH
MAYBE EVEN TOUCH THE SKY
ALL THE WORLD
COULD BE HIS PIE
IF HE'D ONLY TRY
MILO, OPEN YOUR EYES
LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEE
SEE HOW INTERESTING
LIFE CAN BE
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MILO
[RING]
[RING]
[RING]
[RING]
HELLO, RALPH.
HI, MILO.
ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING?
NAH...I'M NO DOING ANYTHING.
WHAT'S THERE TO DO?
NOTHING, I GUESS.
NOTHING IS FUN ANYMORE.
RIGHT.
EVERYTHING'S
A BIG WASTE OF TIME.
WHEN I'M IN SCHOOL,
ALL I WANT TO DO
IS BE OUT.
WHEN I'M NO IN SCHOOL,
I WANT TO BE
SOMEPLACE ELSE.
IF ONLY SOMETHING
COULD HAPPEN SOMETIME.
YEAH.
WHAT'S THE USE
IN SUBTRACTING
TURNIPS FROM TURNIPS
OR CARRYING A THREE
OR KNOWING HOW
TO SPELL "FEBRUARY"?
FEB-RU-ARY.
YEAH.
EVERYTHING'S A DRAG.
AND WHO WANTS TO SIT AROUND
DOING HOMEWORK, ANYWAY?
EVERYTHING
SEEMS SO IMPOSSIBLE.
EVERYBODY SAYS IT'S SUCH
A BIG, WONDERFUL WORLD.
HOW COME IT SEEMS SO...
SMALL AND KIND OF EMPTY?
THERE'S NO RHYME OR--
OR REASON TO ANY OF IT.
[THUD]
HEY, RALPH.
DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
HEAR SOMETHING?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
IT SOUNDED
KIND OF LIKE A BUMP
OR LIKE SOMETHING
HEAVY DROPPING.
WELL...
I GUESS
IT WASN'T ANYTHING.
NOTHING'S
EVER ANY--THING.
HEY, RALPH.
THERE'S SOMETHING
FUNNY IN MY BEDROOM.
SOMETHING FUNNY
IN YOUR BEDROOM?
I'LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.
THAT'S FUNNY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
[MILO READING CARD]
WELL, MILO,
YOU ARE NOW
THE PROUD POSSESSOR
OF ONE GENUINE
TURNPIKE TOLLBOOTH.
TURNPIKE TOLLBOOTH?
FOR USE BY THOSE
WHO HAVE NEVER TRAVELED
IN THE LAND BEYOND.
BEYOND?
BEYOND WHAT?
BEYOND YOUR WILDES IMAGINATION, OF COURSE.
YOUR GENUINE TOLLBOOTH KI CONTAINS ONE
GALVANIZED AUTOMOBILE.
[BEEP BEEP]
[SPROING]
ONE BOOK OF RULES
AND TRAFFIC REGULATIONS.
ONE MAP, UP-TO-DATE
AND CAREFULLY DRAWN
BY A MASTER CARTOGRAPHER.
AND PRECAUTIONARY SIGNS
TO BE USED IN
A PRECAUTIONARY MANNER.
HAVE YOUR DESTINATION
IN MIND.
I DON'T THINK
I HAVE A DESTINATION.
RULE NUMBER 8A...
ALL TRAVELERS
MUST HAVE A DESTINATION.
NO JOURNEY IS VALID
WITHOUT A DESTINATION.
FIND ONE ON YOUR MAP, MILO.
WELL? WELL?
"CASTLE IN THE AIR."
MIGHT AS WELL GO THERE
AS ANYWHERE.
CASTLE IN THE AIR.
THE CASTLE IN THE AIR,
BY WAY OF DICTIONOPOLIS,
DIGITOPOLIS,
AND ALL POINTS WEST.
DICTIONOPO--
DIGITOP--
HOW FAR IS IT?
MAYBE I DON'T WANT--
WELL, MILO,
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
GOING OR STAYING?
WELL?
I DON'T KNOW IF...
ALL RIGHT.
GOING, I GUESS.
[DING]
RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED.
BUT IF NO PERFECTLY SATISFIED,
YOUR WASTED TIME
WILL BE REFUNDED.
PLEASE HAVE
YOUR FARE READY.
[DING]
HUH?
STOP!
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
YOU'RE HOLDING UP TRAFFIC.
OH, WELL. IT LOOKS LIKE
A DULL AFTERNOON ANYWAY.
THIS IS CRAZY.
HERE I AM, RIDING ALONG
A ROAD I'VE NEVER SEEN,
GOING TO A PLACE
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF.
I WONDER WHERE I AM,
ANYWAY.
[DINGING]
"YOU ARE ON THE ROAD
TO DICTIONOPOLIS"?
"BEWARE OF OFFICER
SHORT SHRIFT"?
WHAT A FUNNY NAME.
[SIREN]
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYONE SO GUILTY.
SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN,
SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.
SLOW DOWN OR I'LL ARRES THE LOT OF YOU.
HOW CAN I SLOW DOWN?
I'M NOT EVEN MOVING.
OH, IT'S YOU, IS IT?
MIGHT HAVE KNOWN
IT WOULD BE A BOY.
TALKING BACK
TO AN OFFICER--
THAT'S A MISDEMEANOR.
WHERE WERE YOU
ON THE NIGHT OF JULY 25th?
HMM?
JULY 25th?
WHAT'S THA GOT TO DO WITH IT?
DO WITH IT?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
THAT'S WHAT IT'S
GOT TO DO WITH IT!
BOYS ARE ALWAYS FORGETTING
PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAYS.
WELL, I'M SORRY.
YOU HAVE COMMITTED
THE FOLLOWING CRIMES...
UNDERCEDING THE SPEED LIMIT,
A MISDEMEANOR.
BUT I WASN' EVEN MOVING.
WASN'T EVEN
MOVING, EH?
OVERSTRUCTING
TRAFFIC, A FELONY.
LOOK, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING.
NOT DOING ANYTHING...
I THINK YOU'LL ADMIT,
AT YOUR AGE,
THAT'S A CRIME.
NOW, THEN,
WOULD YOU LIKE A LONG
SENTENCE
OR SHORT SENTENCE?
WELL...
I SUPPOSE A SHORT ONE...
IF I HAVE A CHOICE.
HOW ABOUT "I AM"?
IT'S THE SHORTES SENTENCE I KNOW.
IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU
TO GIVE ME
SUCH A SHORT SENTENCE.
AND JUST WHEN WOULD YOU
LIKE TO GO TO PRISON
AND START SERVING IT?
S-S-SERVING?
WELL, I, UH...
I SUPPOSE
I REALLY CAN' UNTIL I GET BACK
FROM DICTIONOPOLIS
AND THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
THE WHAT IN THE WHAT?
WHY,
THE CASTLE IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
BOYS ARE GUILTY
OF EVERYTHING.
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.
"WELCOME TO EXPECTATIONS."
EXPECTATIONS?
BOY,
THEY SURE HAVE A WAY
OF NAMING PLACES
AROUND HERE.
"INFORMATION,
PREDICTIONS, AND ADVICE
CHEERFULLY OFFERED."
WELL, THAT'S ONE THING
I COULD CERTAINLY USE
IS A LITTLE INFORMATION.
"PARK HERE AND BLOW HORN."
ALL RIGHT.
[HONKING]
MY, MY, MY, MY, MY.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME
TO THE LAND OF EXPECTATIONS
AND TO THE LAND
OF EXPECTATIONS.
WE DON'T GET MANY
TRAVELERS THESE DAYS.
WE CERTAINLY DON'T GE MANY TRAVELERS THESE DAYS.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU?
I'M THE WEATHER MAN.
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?
I WONDER...
COULD YOU TELL ME
THE RIGHT ROAD TO...
A DICTIONOPOLIS...
OR SOMEPLACE?
DICTIONOPOLIS?
WELL, NOW. WELL, NOW.
WELL, NOW.
I DON'T KNOW OF ANYWRONGROAD
TO DICTIONOPOLIS.
SO IF THIS ROAD
GOES TO DICTIONOPOLIS AT ALL,
IT MUST BE THE RIGHT ROAD,
DON'T YOU THINK?
AND IF IT DOESN'T,
IT MUST BE THE RIGHT ROAD
TO SOMEWHERE,
MUSTN'T IT?
BECAUSE THERE ARE NO
WRONG ROADS TO ANYWHERE.
DO YOU THINK
IT WILL RAIN?
BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOUWERE THE WEATHER MAN.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M THEWHETHER MAN,
NOT THE WEATHER MAN.
FOR AFTER ALL, IT'S
MORE IMPORTANT TO KNOW
WHETHER THERE WILL BE
A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER
THAN WHAT THE WEATHER...
WILL BE...
DON'T YOU THINK?
WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS...
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PLACE
IS EXPECTATIONS?
GOOD QUESTION.
SPLENDID QUESTION.
EXPECTATIONS
IS THE PLACE
YOU MUST ALWAYS GO
BEFORE YOU GE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
OF COURSE, SOME PEOPLE
NEVER GET BEYOND
EXPECTATIONS.
MY JOB IS TO HURRY
THEM ALONG ANYWAY.
I'D BETTER HURRY
YOU ALONG, TOO.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
BUT...BUT I REALLY THINK
I CAN FIND MY OWN WAY.
SPLENDID,
SPLENDID, SPLENDID.
I DO SO HATE TO MAKE UP
MY MIND ABOUT ANYTHING.
WHETHER OR NO YOU FIND YOUR WAY,
YOU'RE BOUND TO FIND
SOME WAY.
IF YOU HAPPEN
TO FINDMYWAY,
PLEASE RETURN IT.
YOU DID SAY
IT WAS GOING TO RAIN,
DIDN'T YOU?!
BOY, THAT'S THE MOS PECULIAR MAN I'VE EVER MET.
I HOPE I'LL MEET SOMEBODY
WHOSE SENTENCES MAKE AS MUCH
SENSE BACKWARDS AS FORWARD.
[YAWN]
WHAT A NICE SLEEPY DAY.
MAYBE THAT OLD TOLLBOOTH
HAD SOMETHING AFTER ALL.
NOBODY TO TELL ME
WHAT TO DO...
NO DECISIONS TO MAKE...
NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT...
AND NOTHING TO CARE ABOUT...
NOTHING...
MILES AND MILES AND MILES
OF NOTHING.
NOTHING...
JUST NOTHING.
[YAWN]
I WONDER WHERE I AM.
[DEEP, SLEEPY VOICE]
YOU'RE IN DOLDRUMS.
THE WHAT DRUMS?
[ECHOING] WELCOME...
TO...THE...DOLDRUMS.
[SNORING]
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE...
[YAWN]
OURSELVES.
WE ARE THE LETHARGARIANS.
[SNORING]
[MILO]
I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
COULD YOU HELP ME,
PLEASE?
I THINK I'M LOST.
All: THINK?!
DON'T SAY THAT!
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW
TO THINK IN THE DOLDRUMS.
[SNORING]
BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
EVERYBODY THINKS.
WE DON'T.
AND MOST OF THE TIME,
YOU DON'T.
AND THAT'S
WHY YOU'RE HERE.
YOU WEREN'T THINKING.
[SNORING]
AND YOU WEREN' PAYING ATTENTION, EITHER.
NOW, PEOPLE WHO DON' PAY ATTENTION
OFTEN GET STUCK
IN THE DOLDRUMS.
[SNORING]
HA HA HA!
THAT'S SILLY.
HA HA HA!
STOP THAT AT ONCE!
LAUGHING IS
AGAINST THE LAW.
AND SMILING
IS PERMITTED
ONLY ON
ALTERNATE THURSDAYS.
BUT IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH
OR THINK,
WHATCANYOU DO
IN THE DOLDRUMS?
UH, DO?
WHY,
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING...
AS LONG AS
IT'S NOTHING
[YAWN]
EVERYTHING
AS LONG
AS IT ISN'T ANYTHING
SO...
DON'T SAY THERE'S
NOTHING TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS
DON'T SAY
WE DIDDLE AWAY THE DAYS
WE DON'T?
NO.
WE DAWDLE A BI AND THEN...
YEAH, AND THEN WE...
WE LOITER A WHILE
AND DAWDLE AGAIN
PPSSHHHH...
WE GATHER OUR STRENGTH
TO START ANEW
ON ALL OF
THE LOAFING AND LOUNGING
WE STILL HAVE LEFT TO DO
SO, DON'T SAY
THERE'S NOTHING TO DO
IN THE DOLDRUMS
IT'S JUST...
NOT...TRUE
[SNORING]
I CAN SEE YOU LEAD
A RICH AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE.
DON'T SAY THERE'S NOTHING
TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS
I'M READY TO DIDDLE AWAY
THE DAYS, I AM
I DAWDLE A BI [CACKLING]
DAWDLE A BI I LOITER A WHILE
LOITER A WHILE
AND DAWDLE AGAIN
AND THEN WE DAWDLE AGAIN
I GATHER MY STRENGTH
TO START ANEW
TO START ANEW
ON ALL OF
THE LOAFING AND LOUNGING
I STILL HAVE LEFT TO DO
SO...
DON'T SAY THERE'S NOTHING
TO DO IN THE DOLDRUMS
IT'S JUST...
[YAWNING]
NOT...TRUE
[SNORING]
[DOG BARKING]
IT'S THE TERRIBLE WATCHDOG!
RUN! RUN, EVERYBODY!
THE TERRIBLE
WATCHDOG!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
HELP!
AAH!
AAH!
TERRIBLE WATCHDOG?
[BARKING]
[BARKING]
[SPLAT]
HERE, WHAT'S THIS?
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
[YAWN]
JUST KILLING TIME.
KILLING TIME?!
[RINGING]
LOOK, SON.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH
WASTING TIME
WITHOUT KILLING IT.
COME ON,
GET HOLD OF YOURSELF.
YOU CAN'T SPEND
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
IN THE DOLDRUMS.
HOW DID YOU GET HERE
ANYWAY?
OH, IT WAS EASY.
I GUESS I JUS WASN'T THINKING.
HA! PRECISELY.
YOU GOT HERE
BY NOT THINKING,
AND NOW YOU'VE GO TO THINK YOUR WAY OUT.
GO AWAY.
I WAS ASLEEP.
[ALARM RINGS]
BESIDES, IT'S AGAINS THE LAW TO THINK.
YOU'VE GOT TO GET OU OF HERE.
I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T HAD
MUCH PRACTICE,
BUT YOU'VE GO TO START THINKING.
TOO MUCH WORK TO THINK.
I'D RATHER NOT DO...
[YAWN]
ANYTHING.
AND LETHARGARIANS
DON'T WANT YOU
TO DO ANYTHING,
EVEN EATING OR BREATHING.
BREATHING?
BUT I'VE ALWAYS BREATHED.
I CAN'T STOP NOW.
THEN GET STARTED THINKING.
THINK, BOY, THINK!
WHAT DO I
THINK ABOUT?
THINK OF BIRDS THAT SWIM
AND FISH THAT FLY.
UH...LET'S SEE...
BIRDS THAT SWIM...
[DING]
AND FISH THAT FLY...
[DING]
WORDS THAT BEGIN
WITH "J."
IT'S WORKING.
IT'S WORKING.
KEEP THINKING!
DINOSAUR INSTEPS!
POTATO ICE CREAM!
UH...POTATO INSTEPS
AND DINOSAUR ICE CREAM.
FASTER, BOY, FASTER!
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID!
DEOSSY-RYE-BANANA
CLUNK-CASTLE!
ALBERT EINSTEIN!
E=MC SQUARED!
ALBERT EINSTEIN!
E=MC SQUARED!
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!
ANTHONY TROLLOPE!
ISAAC NEWTON!
FASTER, BOY!
FASTER! ROGER BACON!
JOHN STUART MILL!
[RINGING]
FEBRUARY,
F-E-B-R-U-A-R-Y!
15 TIMES 86
EQUALS 1,290,
AND CARRY THE 3!
[RINGING]
WHEW! FOR A MINUTE,
I WAS AFRAID
I'D SNAPPED
MY MAINSPRING.
YOU MUST EXCUSE
MY GRUFF CONDUCT.
BUT, YOU SEE,
IT'S TRADITIONAL
FOR WATCHDOGS
TO BE FEROCIOUS.
I THOUGH YOU WERE JUST GREAT,
BUT ARE YOU SURE
IT'S ALL RIGH TO LEAVE
THOSE LETHARGARIANS
BACK THERE ALONE?
OH, I DON'T JUS WATCH LETHARGARIANS.
I WATCH BOYS, TOO.
AND RIGHT NOW, I'D SAY
YOU NEEDED A WATCHDOG,
AND ANYWAY, I JUS LOVE AUTOMOBILE RIDES!
I'M VERY PLEASED
TO HAVE YOU ALONG.
MY NAME IS MILO.
MILO--THAT'S A STRANGE
NAME FOR A BOY.
MY NAME IS TOCK.
WELL, ISN' THAT KIND OF
A STRANGE NAME
FOR A DOG?
OH, NO. HOW MANY NAMES
CAN YOU GIVE A WATCHDOG?
ACTUALLY,
MY NAME IS TICK TOCK.
MY FRIENDS
CALL ME TOCK.
MAY I CALL YOU TOCK?
IT'S ABOUT TIME
I HAD A FRIEND.
IT'S ABOUT TIME?
TIME? BUT TIME
ISYOUR FRIEND!
"TIME MARCHES ON."
"TIME AND TIDE
WAIT FOR NO MAN."
TIME, TIME
TIME, TIME
TIME IS A GIFT,
FLEETING AND SWIFT
TICKING AND TOCKING
ITSELF AWAY
ITSELF AWAY,
I'M SAYING BETTER BEWARE
TIME IS A GIFT,
PRECIOUS AND RARE
TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN
USE ALL YOU CAN, THERE'S NO A MOMENT TO SPARE
SO TAKE A SECOND
TO LOOK AROUND
SEE A SIGHT,
HEAR A SOUND
TAKE A MINUTE TO CONCENTRATE
ANALYZE
CONTEMPLATE
TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
TIME
TICKS
HASTILY AWAY
TAKE TIME
TO SAVE IT EVERY DAY
TIME
SAVED
IN THE NICK OF TIME
IS GOLDEN TIME
[MILO]
TIME, TIME
TIME
TIME IS A GIFT,
FLEETING AND SWIFT
TICKING AND TOCKING
ITSELF AWAY, ITSELF AWAY
TIME TO
SAVE IT EVERY DAY
TIME IS A GIFT,
PRECIOUS AND RARE
TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN, USE ALL YOU CAN
THERE'S NOT A MOMEN TO SPARE
SO TAKE A SECOND
TO LOOK AROUND
SEE A SIGHT,
HEAR A SOUND
TAKE A MINUTE TO CONCENTRATE
ANALYZE
ANALYZE
CONTEMPLATE
CONTEMPLATE
TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
GOLLY!
I'VE NEVER SEEN
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
COUNTRY, TOCK.
WHAT COUNTRY IS IT?
WELL, IT USED TO BE CALLED
THE KINGDOM OF WISDOM
UNTIL THE OLD KING DIED,
BUT THEN IT WAS DIVIDED
INTO TWO STATES.
ON ONE SIDE,
DICTIONOPOLIS,
THE KINGDOM OF WORDS.
IT'S RULED BY KING AZAZ,
WHO HAS AN IRON LAW
THAT ALL WORDS ARE
MORE IMPORTANT THAN NUMBERS.
THE OTHER SIDE
IS DIGITOPOLIS,
THE KINGDOM
OF MATHEMATICS,
RULED BY
THE MATHEMAGICIAN.
HIS LAW IS THAT NUMBERS
ARE MORE IMPORTAN THAN WORDS.
AND OVER THERE,
IN THE MOUNTAINS
OF IGNORANCE,
THE DEMONS ARE GATHERING,
JUST WAITING.
[THUNDER]
AND BEYOND
THOSE MOUNTAINS, MILO,
IS OUR ONLY CHANCE.
THE C-A-S-T-L-E
IN THE A-I-R.
THAT'S
WHERE I'M GOING.
THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
DON'T SAY THA AGAIN, MILO.
IT MAKES
THE DEMONS VERY ANGRY.
AT LEAST THERE'S ONE SANE
AND INTELLIGENT MAN
LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY.
CHROMA THE GREAT.
THAT'S ONE OF
HIS BEST RAINBOWS.
HEY! THERE GOES
THE WHETHER MAN!
HAVE YOU FOUND
MY WAY YET?
I HOPE IT ISN' MILDEWED.
COME ON, MILO,
LET'S GO.
WE'RE WASTING TI--
I KNOW. I KNOW.
WE'RE WASTING TIME.
STOP!
WHAT'S THAT?
HMM. UNLESS I'M
VERY MUCH MISTAKEN,
YOU JUST MISSED
RUNNING INTO THE ABODE
OF KAKOFONOUS
A. DISCHORD.
AH! HO HO HO!
[HONK]
BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?
[HONK]
BUT...
OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL
THINGS IN LIFE
THAT NATURE HAS PROVIDED
[HONK]
A DAFFODIL
A BUTTERCUP
A BIRD
HMM HMM HMM
HO HO HO!
THE LOVELIEST THINGS
OF ALL TO ME
I LONG AGO DECIDED
CANNOT BE SEEN
THEY ONLY
CAN BE HEARD
BANG!
[CRASH]
CLANG! BOOM!
NOISE, NOISE,
BEAUTIFUL NOISE
WONDERFUL, DEAFENING,
EAR-SPLITTING NOISE
WHISTLES AND SQUEAKS
SCREECHES GALORE
JINGLES AND JANGLES
OH, HOW I ADORE
ALL THAT NOISE, NOISE
MARVELOUS NOISE
HORRIBLE, HIDEOUS,
AWFUL, INSIDIOUS
NOISE, NOISE, NOISE
[CRASH]
[CRASH]
YOU DON'T LOOK
WELL, MY BOY.
HERE, LET'S
HAVE A LOOK.
[HONK HONK]
JUST AS I SUSPECTED.
YOU ARE SUFFERING
FROM A SEVERE
LACK OF NOISE.
NOW, THIS WILL
FIX YOU RIGHT UP.
HONKING HORNS,
SCREECHING TRAINS,
BELLS, SHOUTS,
SHRIEKS,
GURGLING DRAINS,
AND ALL THE RES OF THOSE WONDERFULLY
UNPLEASANT SOUNDS
WE USE SO MUCH OF
TODAY.
[CLANGING]
NOW, HERE, DRINK THIS
AND YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO HEAR
A PLEASAN SOUND AGAIN.
NO! NO, THANK YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO BE CURED
OF PLEASANT SOUNDS.
WELL, NOW,
THAT'S VERY UNUSUAL.
HOWEVER,
NOTHING LOST.
I'LL JUST GIVE I TO THE AWFUL DYNNE.
THE AWFUL DYNNE?
[CLANGING]
[RUMBLING]
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
AH, THAT WAS
GOOD, MASTER.
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT,
THE AWFUL DYNNE.
GEE! I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER ME AN AWFUL DYNNE BEFORE.
WHAT? NEVER ME AN AWFUL DYNNE BEFORE?
YOU MUST BE
MISTAKEN.
AND WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING
IN YOUR ROOM
MAKING A LOT OF NOISE,
WHAT DO THEY
TELL YOU TO STOP?
WHY, THE--THE AWFUL DYNNE.
AND WHEN THE STREE IS BEING REPAIRED
WITH ABOUT 50 JACKHAMMERS
GOING ALL DAY,
WHAT DOES EVERYBODY
COMPLAIN OF?
THE AWFUL DYNNE.
RIGHT. AND NOW
MY VALUED ASSISTAN WILL SHOW YOU
VARIOUS EXAMPLES
FROM MY COLLECTION
OF RARE, EXOTIC,
AND SELDOM HEARD NOISES.
[HONK]
DIN?
HA HA HA HA HA!
DID YOU...
EVER HEAR
AN ELEPHANT TAP-DANCE
ON A TIN ROOF LATE AT NIGHT?
THAT'S NOISE
BEAUTIFUL NOISE
DID YOU EVER HEAR
A CENTIPEDE CRYING
WHEN HIS SHOES
DON'T FIT HIM RIGHT?
THAT'S NOISE
BEAUTIFUL NOISE
DID YOU EVER HEAR
A HUNGRY DINOSAUR
HICCUP ON A WINDY DAY?
DID YOU EVER HEAR
A NERVOUS BUTTERFLY
NIBBLE ON A CHEESE SOUFFLE?
HA HA HA!
AH, YES. NOISE IS VERY
FASHIONABLE TODAY.
I CAN HARDLY
FILL THE ORDERS
FOR NOISE PILLS,
RACKET LOTION,
CLAMOR SALVE,
AND HUBBUB TONIC.
YEARS AGO,
WHY, EVERYONE WANTED
PLEASANT SOUNDS,
BUT TODAY,
ALL THEY WANT IS...
BASH! BING!
BANG! BOOM!
POW! CLUNK!
DING! DUNK!
NOISE, NOISE,
NERVE-JANGLING NOISE
BATTERING,
CHATTERING, SHATTERING NOISE
GURGLES AND SCREAMS
ALL OF THAT STUFF
TICKLE MY EARDRUMS
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH
OF THAT NOISE, NOISE
MARVELOUS NOISE
HORRIBLE, HIDEOUS
AWFUL, INSIDIOUS
NOISE, NOISE
NOISE
[DING DONG]
[CRASH]
LOOKS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL
CROP, DOESN'T IT, MILO?
I'VE NEVER SEEN
FATTER Ws,
AND THOSE As
LOOK DELICIOUS.
ARE THOSE LETTERS
GROWING ON THOSE TREES?
WELL, MONEY DOESN'T GROW
ON TREES, DOES IT?
NO. IT'S JUST THA I'VE NEVER SEEN LETTERS
GROWING ON TREES, EITHER.
[MILO] TAKE A MINUTE
TO CONCENTRATE
ANALYZE
ANALYZE
CONTEMPLATE
CONTEMPLATE
TAKE AN HOUR AND CHANGE
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
TIME IS A GIF GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
THE TIME YOU NEED
TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
GREETINGS.
SALUTATIONS.
WELCOME.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
HI.
WHY, THANK YOU,
AND HI.
BY ORDER OF AZAZ,
THE UNABRIDGED...
KING OF DICTIONOPOLIS...
MONARCH OF LETTERS...
EMPEROR OF PHRASES,
SENTENCES,
AND MISCELLANEOUS
FIGURES OF SPEECH...
WE OFFER YOU
THE HOSPITALITY
OF OUR KINGDOM.
COUNTRY.
STATE.
COMMONWEALTH.
PALATINATE.
ROYAL BANQUET...
TONIGHT...
IN YOUR HONOR.
7:00 SHARP.
BE THERE.
GOOD-BYE.
ADIEU.
ARRIVEDERCI.
SO LONG.
CIAO.
[MILO] BYE.
I NEVER KNEW
WORDS COULD BE
SO CONFUSING.
ONLY CONFUSING, MILO,
WHEN YOU USE A LO TO SAY A LITTLE.
TOUGH PHRASES.
HOT PHRASES.
STEP RIGHT UP,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
GET YOUR FRESH-PICKED
IFS, ANDS, AND BUTS,
RIGHT OFF THE FARM.
NICE WHAT, WHERES,
WHICHES, WHENS, AND WHOS...
GET YOUR HALF-BAKED
IDEAS HERE.
HALF-BAKED IDEAS HERE.
MEATY WORDS HERE.
POETIC WORDS.
SUBLIME WORDS.
FANCY, BEST-QUALITY
WORDS RIGHT HERE.
HOW ABOUT YOU,
YOUNG MAN?
HOW ABOUT A NICE BAG
FULL OF PRONOUNS?
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
OUR SPECIAL ASSORTMEN OF ADJECTIVES.
BOY, WAIT TILL RALPH
HEARS ME USE THESE.
HOW MUCH ARE
THESE, SIR?
WERE YOU THINKING
OF USING ALL OF THEM
IN THE SAME
SENTENCE?
WHY, Y--
YES, SIR.
WELL,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE A BAGFUL
OF HAPPYS AND GOODS
TO START WITH?
VERY USEFUL
FOR HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
HAPPY DAYS,
AND HAPPY-GO-LUCKY.
USEFUL, TOO,
FOR GOOD MORNING,
GOOD AFTERNOON,
GOOD EVENING,
GOOD RIDDANCE,
AND GOOD-BYE!
Os BY THE POUND!
VOWELS
BY THE POUND!
STEP RIGHT UP,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
DO IT YOURSELF.
MAKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS.
BE CREATIVE. HAVE FUN.
START A LANGUAGE.
THAT LOOKS PRETTY
DIFFICULT, TOCK.
I'M NOT MUCH GOOD
AT MAKING UP WORDS.
PERHAPS I CAN BE
OF ASSISTANCE.
LOOK OUT!
A-S-S-I-S-T-A-N-C-E.
TOCK, LOOK OUT!
IT'S ALL RIGHT, MILO.
IT'S JUS A SPELLING BEE.
YES, PLEASE DON' BE ALARMED,
A-L-A-R-M-E-D,
ALARMED.
I KNOW BOYS ARE OFTEN
AFRAID OF BEES,
B-E-E-S, BEES.
BUT LET ME
ASSURE YOU
MY INTENTIONS
ARE PEACEFUL,
P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L
AND YOU DON'T STING?
STING?
HA HA HA HA.
OH, ICANSTING,
BUT I DON'T.
HOWEVER, I CAN
SPELL ANYTHING,
A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
ANYTHING?
ANY WORD THAT HAS
EVER BEEN WRITTEN
IN ANY LANGUAGE,
ANYWHERE.
BALDERDASH!
LET ME REPEAT.
BALDERDASH.
BALDERDASH?
WHY, YOU--
OH, COME NOW.
DON'T BE ILL-MANNERED.
ISN'T SOMEONE
GOING TO INTRODUCE ME
TO THIS LITTLE BOY?
FINE MANLY LITTLE FELLOW.
THIS IS THE HUMBUG,
H-U-M-B-U-G.
A VERY DISLIKABLE
FELLOW.
NONSENSE.
EVERYONE LOVES
A HUMBUG.
OH! HA HA HA!
AHEM.
INSECTIOUS HUMBUGIOUS,
IF I MAY USE THE LATIN.
INSECTIOUS HUMBUGIOUS?
WHY, YOU FRAUD!
YOU CAN'T EVEN
SPELL YOUR OWN NAME.
A SLAVISH CONCERN
FOR THE COMPOSITION
OF WORDS
IS THE SIGN
OF A BANKRUPT INTELLECT.
BEGONE, ODIOUS WASP!
YOU SMELL
OF DECAYED SYLLABLES.
ODIOUS WASP?
HOW DARE YOU!
EN GARDE!
E-N G-A-R-D-E!
[BUZZ]
YIKE!
BACK! BACK!
BACK, I SAY!
DIDACTIC DRONE!
VERBOSE VERMIN!
AAH! BACK!
PARSIMONIOUS
WORD MISER!
OVERBEARING DRAGONFLY!
TOUCHE!
TOUCHE!
T-O-U-C-H-E!
YOW!
[CRASH]
[BUZZ]
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYONE SO GUILTY!
UH-OH!
GUILTY,
GUILTY, GUILTY!
JUST AS
I THOUGHT.
YOU AGAIN!
GUILTY
OF SOWING CONFUSION,
UPSETTING
THE ALPHABET CART--
APPLECART.
CORRECTING
AN OFFICER,
WREAKING HAVOC,
MINCING WORDS...
[RINGING]
AND HAVING A DOG
WITH AN UNAUTHORIZED
ALARM.
[WOOF WOOF]
AND ILLEGAL BARKING.
I SENTENCE YOU BOTH
TO SIX MILLION YEARS
IN PRISON.
SIX MILLION YEARS?
BUT--BUT ONLY A JUDGE
CAN SENTENCE YOU!
GOOD POINT!
I SENTENCE YOU BOTH
TO SIX MILLION YEARS
IN PRISON.
COME ON, I'LL TAKE YOU
TO THE DUNGEON.
BUT--BUT YOU CAN'T!
I MEAN, ONLY A JAILER
CAN PUT YOU IN PRISON.
GOOD POINT!
I AM ALSO THE JAILER.
COME ON, COME ON!
KEEP YOUR CHIN UP,
MY BOY.
MAYBE THEY'LL TAKE
A MILLION YEARS OFF
FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR.
BE, B-E,
OF GOOD HOPE,
H-O-P-E, HOPE.
YOU'LL FIND IT QUITE
PLEASANT DOWN HERE.
ISN'T I A LITTLE DARK?
OF COURSE IT'S DARK.
DUNGEONS ARE ALWAYS DARK.
IF THEY WEREN'T DARK,
THEY WOULDN'T BE
SO UNPLEASANT.
BUT YOU SAID IT WOULD BE
PLEASANT DOWN HERE.
WHICH--
PRECISELY! WITCH.
YOU CAN ALWAYS
CHAT WITH THE WITCH
IF YOU GET LONELY.
THIS IS IT.
ALL THE COMFORTS
OF HOME.
[CLANG]
SEE YOU IN SIX MILLION YEARS!
OH, THERE YOU ARE!
HOW DO YOU DO?
HELLO.
COME IN,
COME IN, COME IN.
YOU'D BETTER BE
VERY CAREFUL, MA'AM.
THERE'S A WITCH
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
WELL,
OF COURSE THERE IS.
I AM SHE.
FAINTLY MACABRE,
THE NOT-SO-WICKED WHICH.
THERE. YOU SEE?
"OFFICIAL WHICH.
KINGDOM OF WISDOM."
OH, A WHICH,
LIKE THE WHETHER MAN.
OF COURSE.
THE WHETHER MAN
IS MY BROTHER.
AT LEAS HE USED TO BE.
I DON'T KNOW
WHETHER HE STILL IS.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
IN YEARS.
HAVE A COOKIE.
THE QUESTION MARKS
ARE DELICIOUS.
WHAT DOES A WHICH DO?
WELL, I USED TO HELP
PEOPLE CHOOSE
WHICH WORDS TO USE--
WHICH WERE
THE MOST PROPER
AND FITTING WORDS
FOR ANY
AND ALL OCCASIONS.
BUT WHEN
RHYME AND REASON
WERE BANISHED--
RHYME AND REASON?
YES, MILO,
WHEN THE TWO KINGS
HAD THEIR
TERRIBLE QUARREL.
WHEN KING AZAZ INSISTED
THAT WORDS WERE FAR
MORE IMPORTANT THAN NUMBERS...
AND HENCE, HIS KINGDOM
WAS TRULY THE GREATER,
AND WHEN
THE MATHEMAGICIAN CLAIMED
THAT NUMBERS WERE
MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN WORDS,
AND THEREFORE,
HISKINGDOM WAS SUPREME...
WHY, THEN, NATURALLY,
THEY ASKED THE PRINCESS
OF SWEET RHYME
AND THE PRINCESS
OF PURE REASON
TO SETTLE THE QUESTION.
AND WHAT DID THEY DECIDE?
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT--
WORDS OR NUMBERS?
THE PRINCESSES DECIDED
THAT WORDS AND NUMBERS
ARE OF EQUAL VALUE.
[TOCK] IN THE CLOAK
OF KNOWLEDGE,
ONE IS THE WARP,
AND THE OTHER
IS THE WOOF.
BUT YOU SEE, MILO,
THIS DECISION
INFURIATED THE TWO KINGS,
AND THEY BANISHED
THE PRINCESSES
TO THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
AND I WAS THROWN
INTO THIS DUNGEON.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DON' SEEM TO CARE ANYMORE
WHICH WORDS THEY USE,
AS LONG AS THEY
USE LOTS OF THEM.
AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S
NO RHYME OR REASON AROUND HERE
AND EVERYBODY THINKS
HE'SSO GOOD.
HEY! MAYBE WE
CAN RESCUE THEM
AND RESCUE YOU, TOO,
MRS. FAINTLY...
IN ABOU SIX MILLION YEARS.
OH, THERE YOU ARE!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER
FOR YOU.
THE ROYAL BANQUE IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
SOUP'S ON.
I STILL HAVE TO SERVE
MY SENTENCE
OF SIX MILLION YEARS
IN PRISON.
NO TIME
FOR SENTENCES.
NO TIME
FOR WORDS.
THE CONDEMNED BOY
ATE A HEARTY MEAL.
PRISONS ARE
FOR THE BIRDS.
JAILBIRDS.
MUSTN'T KEEP
AZAZ WAITING.
KINGS GE HUNGRY, TOO.
ROYAL BANQUET'S
JUST BEGINNING.
JUST IN TIME
FOR ROYAL STEW.
CHOW.
GOOD-BYE, MRS. MACABRE.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL FIND
A WAY TO RESCUE YOU.
BYE, FAINTLY.
WE'LL BE BACK.
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
HIS MAJESTY, THE SUPREME
RULER OF SEMANTICS,
MOST EMINEN CHIEFTAIN OF PARTICIPLES,
LORD AND MASTER OF WORDS,
SUPER SOVEREIGN
OF SYNTAX,
CHIEF POTENTATE
OF ADVERBS AND PREPOSITIONS...
KING AZAZ THE UNABRIDGED.
IF YOU PLEASE, SIR...
[GRUMBLE]
YOUR MAJESTY--
MY NAME IS MILO.
AND THIS IS TOCK,
MY WATCHDOG.
AND WE'VE BEEN SENTENCED
TO SIX MILLION YEARS FOR...
AAH!
SIX MILLION?!
THAT'S NO A SENTENCE!
THAT'S A NUMBER!
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW
TO MENTION NUMBERS
HERE IN DICTIONOPOLIS.
WORDS ARE THE ONLY
THINGS THAT MATTER.
I'M SORRY,
YOUR KINGSHIP, SIR.
AFTER ALL, ME BOY...
YOU COULDN' HAVE ONE FINE DAY
WITHOUT THE DAY,
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
TEA FOR TWO
WITHOUT THE TEA,
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
THREE BLIND MICE
WITHOUT THE MICE,
COULD YOU?
SO YOU SEE, MILO,
WORDS ARE REALLY
VERY VALUABLE THINGS.
IF YOU THINK
A GREAT THOUGHT
HOW DO YOU WRITE IT DOWN?
WORDS
IF YOU SPOT A BRUSH FIRE,
HOW DO YOU WARN THE TOWN?
WORDS
IF YOU HAVE OPINIONS,
HOW DO YOU SPEAK YOUR PIECE?
IF YOU RENT A CASTLE
HOW DO YOU READ
YOUR LEASE?
IF YOU KNOW A GOOD JOKE
HOW DO YOU TELL
A FRIEND?
WORDS, WORDS
THAT'S HOW
WORDS, IN A WORD,
ARE AMAZING
YOU CAN READ THEM,
YOU CAN WRITE THEM
YOU CAN SING THEM
AND RECITE THEM
UNDERLINE THEM
MISDEFINE THEM
THEY'RE AMAZING
WORDS, IN A WORD,
ARE FANTASTIC
YOU CAN HINT THEM,
YOU CAN SAY THEM
YOU CAN PRINT THEM,
YOU CAN PRAY THEM
EMPHASIZE THEM
AND DESPISE THEM
THEY'RE FANTASTIC
STRING THEM INTO SENTENCES
AND THOUGHTS PROFOUND
WILL ABOUND
IN A SYMPHONY
OF SPOKEN SOUND
TRUTH IS FOUND
BEAUTY CROWNED,
IN OTHER WORDS
WORDS, IN A WORD,
ARE DELICIOUS
YOU CAN TASTE THEM,
YOU CAN TREAT THEM
YOU CAN WASTE THEM
YOU CAN EAT THEM
AND DIGEST THEM
I SUGGEST THEM
THEY'RE DELICIOUS
WORDS
SPEECHES.
SPEECHES.
TIME FOR SPEECHES.
Y-YOU, ME BOY,
AS OUR GUEST,
MAY SPEAK FIRST.
AHEM!
YOUR MAJESTY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY--
ENOUGH. NEXT.
SOUP BONES, DOG BISCUITS,
PORTERHOUSE STEAK,
CARPET SLIPPERS.
ROAST TURKEY,
MASHED POTATOES,
VANILLA ICE CREAM.
VEAL CUTLET PARMESAN.
EGGPLANT FLORENTINE.
EGGS GOLDENROD.
JONES SAUSAGE BRIOCHE.
PATE DE FOIE GRAS,
SOUPE A L'OIGNON,
FAISAN SOUS CLOCHE,
SALADE ENDIVE,
FROMAGE ET FRUI ET DEMI-TASSE.
BUT THAT'S MY SPEECH.
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
GOING TO HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS.
NOW, OF COURSE YOU DO.
THAT'S WHA WE'RE ALL DOING. MMM.
YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE
A TASTIER SPEECH.
[BURP]
I SEEM TO HAVE A TOUCH
OF INDIGESTION.
PERHAPS YOU'VE EATEN
TOO MUCH TOO QUICKLY.
TO BE SURE--
TOO MUCH, TOO QUICKLY.
I MOST CERTAINLY HAVEN' EATEN TOO LITTLE TOO SLOWLY
OR TOO MUCH TOO SLOWLY
OR TOO LITTLE
TOO QUICKLY
OR TAKEN ALL DAY
TO EAT NOTHING.
OR EATEN EVERYTHING
IN NO TIME AT ALL.
BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE
JUST AS BAD?
YOU MEAN JUST AS GOOD.
THINGS WHICH ARE
JUST AS BAD
ALSO ARE EQUALLY GOOD.
TRY TO LOOK AT THE BRIGH SIDE OF THINGS, MILO.
I DON'T KNOW WHICH SIDE
OF ANYTHING TO LOOK AT.
EVERYTHING
IS SO CONFUSING,
AND ALL YOUR WORDS
ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE.
HOW TRUE.
WORDS SEEM TO HAVE
LOST THEIR MEANING.
BUT THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
COULDN'T YOU PASS A LAW
OR SOMETHING?
WE HAVE ALMOS AS MANY LAWS
AS WE HAVE WORDS,
BUT THE LAWS DON'T MAKE
ANY SENSE EITHER.
PERHAPS YOU MIGHT ALLOW--
I MEAN...
BECAUSE YOU ARE A WISE AND
RIGHTEOUS AND JUST KING,
YOU MIGHT ALLOW...
RHYME AND REASON TO RETURN?
HOW NICE
THAT WOULD BE.
NO!
NO, NEVER!
NOT WHILE THAT STUBBORN
BROTHER OF MINE...
THINGS ALWAYS DID
GO VERY WELL
WHEN THEY WERE HERE.
I WON'T ALLOW IT!
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT, INDEED!
YES...WHY NOT?
MY BOY,
I CANNOT TELL YOU
HOW IT WOULD SOLVE
ALL OUR PROBLEMS
IF YOU COULD BRING BACK
RHYME AND REASON.
"ODIOUS WASP," EH?
"DIDACTIC DRONE."
HA!
"PARSIMONIOUS WORD MISER,"
IS IT?
PERHAPS SOMEONE ELSE
AMONG MY FAITHFUL COUR WOULD VOLUNTEER TO JOIN
THIS BRAVE BOY
IN HIS EFFORTS TO RESCUE
RHYME AND REASON.
NO VOLUNTEERS.
[SNORING]
"INSECTIOUS HUMBUGIOUS,"
EH?
WE'LL SEE.
WONDERFUL...
A VOLUNTEER!
CONGRATULATIONS.
THAT'S GREAT.
WITH THE HUMBUG'S HELP,
I KNOW WE CAN DO IT.
GOOD-BYE, MY BOY.
HERE, IN THIS BAG,
ARE ALL THE WORDS
AND IDEAS I KNOW.
WITH THEM, YOU MAY ASK
ALL THE QUESTIONS
WHICH HAVE NEVER
BEEN ANSWERED
AND ANSWER
ALL THE QUESTIONS
WHICH HAVE NEVER
BEEN ASKED.
ALL THE GREAT BOOKS
OF THE PAS AND ALL THE ONES
YET TO COME
ARE IN THAT BAG.
GO NOW,
BUT REMEMBER--
USE THESE WORDS
WELL
AND THERE IS
NO OBSTACLE
YOU CANNO OVERCOME.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
AND THANK YOU.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
AAAAHOOHHHH!
[MILO]
WOW, WHAT A MESS!
HOW WILL WE EVER
GET THROUGH THAT?
IT IS OF NO USE, ME LAD.
THE WALL
IS ABSOLUTELY IMPENETRABLE.
HOWEVER,
YOUR HEROIC EFFOR SHALL NO BE UNREWARDED.
OUR ETERNAL GRATITUDE
WILL BE YOURS.
SHALL WE START BACK?
NOW, LOOK HERE,
MR. HUMBUG,
IF YOU THINK
FOR ONE MINUTE--
I SAY, YOUNG MAN,
WHAT SEEMS TO BE
YOUR PROBLEM?
WHO ARE YOU?
MY ANGLES ARE MANY,
MY SIDES ARE NOT FEW.
I'M THE DODECAHEDRON.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT'S A DODECAHEDRON?
AS I REMEMBER IT,
IT'S A 12-SIDED
MATHEMATICAL SHAPE.
SEE FOR YOURSELF.
I USUALLY USE
ONE AT A TIME.
SAVES WEAR AND TEAR.
BY THE WAY, WHA WAS YOUR PROBLEM?
WE HAVE TO GET TO DIGITOPOLIS
TO ASK THE MATHEMA--
THE ONLY WAY
TO GET THERE
IS THROUGH
THE NUMBERS MINE.
NUMBERS MINE?
BUT WE CAN' GET THROUGH THERE.
THE ENTRANCE
IS BLOCKED TIGHT.
MILO, YOU REMEMBER
HOW YOU GOT US OU OF THE DOLDRUMS?
YEAH! MAYBE WE CAN
THINK OUR WAY THROUGH.
CAN YOU REMEMBER
ANY MATHEMATICS?
LET'S SEE.
THINGS THAT ARE EQUAL
TO THE SAME THING
ARE EQUAL TO EACH OTHER.
[CRACKING]
0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5,
8, 13,
IS KNOWN AS THE...
FIBONACCI SERIES.
VECTORS HAVE
BOTH MAGNITUDE
AND DIRECTIONS.
SCALARS
HAVE ONLY MAGNITUDE.
WE DID IT! WE DID IT!
YES. YES, WE HANDLED THA BRILLIANTLY, MY BOY.
'TIS A GOOD THING
WE KNEW
THE FIBONACCI SERIES, EH?
HEH HEH. HEH HEH HEH HEH.
YES, INDEED.
GOLLY! AND I USED TO THINK
THAT NUMBERS WEREN' IMPORTANT OR VALUABLE.
NOT IMPORTANT?!
NOT VALUABLE?!
IT'S--IT'S
THE MATHEMAGICIAN.
BY THE 4,827,659
HAIRS ON MY HEAD,
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S IMPORTANT!
YOU COULDN'T HAVE 1 FINE DAY
WITHOUT THE 1
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE TEA
FOR 2 WITHOUT THE 2
COULD YOU?
YOU COULDN'T HAVE
3 BLIND MICE WITHOUT THE 3
SO YOU SEE
NUMBERS ARE THE...
WONDERS OF THE WORLD
IF YOU HAD A BIG PLAN,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW BIG?
NUMBERS
IF YOU HAD A HIGH HOPE,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW HIGH?
NUMBERS
IF YOU HAD A DEEP THOUGHT,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW DEEP?
IF YOU HAD A CLOSE CALL,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE?
IF YOU HAD A WIDE CHOICE,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW WIDE?
NUMBERS
NUMBERS, THAT'S HOW
NUMBERS CAN BE DECIMATED,
VERIFIED, MANIPULATED
CARRIED FORWARD, BACKWARD,
AND REPLACED
NUMBERS CAN BE ADDED TO,
SUBTRACTED FROM
DIVIDED INTO,
MULTIPLIED BY, CROSSED OUT
AND ERASED
BUT NOT WITH WORDS
YOU'RE STUCK WITH WORDS
WORDS ARE THINGS
YOU HAVE TO KEEP
HAVE TO WATCH,
HAVE TO WEIGH
HAVE TO MIND,
HAVE TO KNOW, HAVE TO SAY
BUT IT'S AMAZING
WHAT A DIGIT OR 2 CAN DO
WHY ANYTHING
YOU CANNOT FIGURE OUT
THEY FIGURE OUT FOR YOU
AND WHEN TROUBLES MOUN AND THEY BECOME
TOO MUCH TO BEAR
NEVER FEAR
JUST DIVIDE THEM...
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM
AND DIVIDE THEM...
UNTIL
THEY DISAPPEAR.
NOTHING COUNTS LIKE NUMBERS,
NUMBERS
NUMBERS, WONDERFUL NUMBERS
THOSE DEWEY DECIMAL
DEARIES
SQUARE ROO AND MIXED IN A SERIES
THEY GIVE THE HEAR INSPIRATION
NO WORDS CAN BRING
SUCH ELATION
1 TO 9, THEY'RE THE MOST,
POUR THE WINE, DRINK A TOAST
TO NUMBERS
WELCOME
TO MY WORKSHOP.
VERY IMPRESSIVE,
YOUR MAJESTY.
BUT COULD YOU
SHOW US
THE BIGGEST NUMBER
THERE IS?
THAT WILL
GIVE HIM SOMETHING
TO FIGURE OUT.
VERY WELL, SIR HUMBUG.
WHAT'S THE BIGGES NUMBER YOU YOU CAN THINK OF?
9,999,999,000,999...
AND...
9/10.
VERY GOOD.
NOW ADD 1 TO IT.
ADD 1?
NOW ADD 1 TO THAT.
ADD 1 AGAIN.
ADD 1 AGAIN.
ADD 1 AGAIN AND 1 AGAIN.
BUT HE'D NEVER
BE ABLE TO STOP THAT WAY.
NEVER.
FOR THE NUMBER
YOU HOPE FOR IS ALWAYS
AT LEAST 1 MORE
THAN THE ONE YOU HAD.
AND THAT'S SO LARGE
THAT IF YOU STARTED
SAYING IT YESTERDAY,
YOU WOULDN'T FINISH
'TIL TOMORROW.
I HOPE THAT'S CLEAR.
NOTHING'S
VERY CLEAR TO ME,
HERE OR
IN DICTIONOPOLIS.
RIGHT!
IT'S ALL THE FAUL OF THAT WRETCHED
BROTHER OF MINE--KING AZAZ!
EVER SINCE
THE LITTLE PRINCESSES LEFT,
NOTHING MAKES SENSE...
AND IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!
AHEM!
IF YOU PLEASE, SIR,
WE'D LIKE TO RESCUE
RHYME AND REASON.
RESCUE RHYME AND REASON?!
RESCUE RHYME AND REASON?
WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA!
WAIT! HAS AZAZ
AGREED TO IT?
YES, SIR,
HE HAS.
THEN I DON'T.
WE'VE NEVER AGREED
ON ANYTHING AND WE NEVER WILL.
AND IF I CAN PROVE
OTHERWISE,
CAN WE HAVE PERMISSION
TO GO?
OF COURSE.
OF COURSE.
VERY WELL, THEN.
NOW, IF AZAZ AGREES
WITH SOMETHING,
THEN YOU DISAGREE.
CORRECT?
CORRECT.
AND ANYTHING AZAZ
DISAGREES WITH,
YOU AGREE.
IS THAT CORRECT?
CORRECT.
THEN EACH OF YOU
AGREES
THAT HE WILL DISAGREE
WITH THE OTHER. RIGHT?
RIGHT.
THEN YOU ADMIT THA YOU DO AGREE WITH AZAZ
ABOUT SOMETHING.
YOU AGREE
ABOUT DISAGREEING.
I'VE BEEN TRICKED!
AGAIN,
I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR SHOWING ME
HOW FOOLISH
AND STUPID I'VE BEEN.
BUT THIS GIF CAN SUPPLY YOU
WITH ALL THE NUMBERS,
THEOREMS, EQUATIONS,
AND MATHEMATICAL IDEAS
THE WORLD
HAS EVER KNOWN
OR EVER WILL KNOW.
USE IT WELL
AND THERE IS NOTHING
IT CAN'T DO FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
GOOD-BYE
AND GOOD LUCK.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE!
TOCK, LOOK.
IS THAT A DEMON?
QUICK,
LET'S GO BACK.
NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S THE MAN
I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
THAT'S CHROMA THE GREAT,
THE ONE SANE MAN LEF IN THIS COUNTRY.
YOU MEAN THE ONE
WHO CONDUCTS RAINBOWS
AND SUNRISES AND SUNSETS
AND THINGS?
RIGHT. WE'RE LUCKY.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S READY
TO CONDUCT TODAY'S SUNSET.
WATCH.
THAT WAS A VERY
BEAUTIFUL SUNSET, SIR.
WHY, THANK YOU, SON.
I'VE ONLY BEEN
PRACTICING
SINCE THE WORLD
BEGAN.
SOMETIME I'LL GET I JUST RIGHT.
I THOUGH IT WAS PERFECT.
YOU OUGHT TO SEE
MY LIGHTNING
AND FIREWORKS.
[YAWNS]
WELL, GOOD NIGHT,
MY BOY.
DON'T FORGE TO WAKE ME AT 5:23
FOR THE SUNRISE.
OH, I REALLY, REALLY
MUST GET SOME SLEEP.
MILO. MILO. COME ON.
WE'RE WASTING TIME.
I CAN'T.
I HAVE TO WAKE CHROMA
FOR THE SUNRISE.
WHY DON'T YOU
CONDUCT THE SUNRISE
YOURSELF, MILO?
SAVE US A LOT OF TIME,
AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO
DISTURB CHROMA AT ALL.
HEY, THAT'S
A GREAT IDEA.
I'LL DO IT.
WHY, YOU FOOL!
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM
TO DO THAT FOR?
DO YOU KNOW WHA TROUBLE HE CAN--
[TAPPING]
NO, MILO. NO.
OH, NO.
COME ON. COME ON.
WE HAVE TO
GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE CHROMA
WAKES UP.
NOW THERE'S
NO SENSE ANYPLACE,
AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
NAMES. I MUS HAVE YOUR NAMES
BEFORE YOU CAN
PROCEED.
UH, THIS IS
THE HUMBUG.
THIS IS TOCK,
AND MY NAME
IS MILO.
NOW CAN WE GO?
OH, I HAVEN'T HAD
AN "M" IN AGES.
NOW THEN,
IF YOU'LL JUST TELL ME
WHEN YOU WERE BORN,
WHERE YOU WERE BORN,
WHY YOU WERE BORN,
HOW OLD YOU ARE,
HOW OLD YOU WERE THEN,
WHAT GRADE YOU'RE IN.
YOUR SHOE SIZE, SHIRT SIZE,
COLLAR SIZE, HAT SIZE,
AND THE NAMES
AND BANK REFERENCES
OF SIX PEOPLE WHO CAN
VERIFY THIS INFORMATION.
THEN YOU CAN GO.
WHAT DO YOU NEED
ALL THIS FOR?
WE'RE IN A HURRY.
I'M THE OFFICIAL
SENSES TAKER.
I MUST HAVE
THIS INFORMATION
BEFORE I TAKE
YOUR SENSES.
SO, NOW, IF YOU WILL FILL OU IN TRIPLICATE
YOUR HEIGHT, YOUR WEIGHT,
HOW MANY ICE-CREAM CONES
YOU EAT IN A WEEK.
HOW MANY YOU DON' EAT IN A WEEK.
WE CAN'T WASTE THE TIME.
WE'VE GOT TO GET TO
THE CASTLE IN THE AIR.
[THUNDER]
THAT DOES IT!
NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE
YOUR SENSE OF DUTY,
YOUR SENSE OF PROPORTION,
AND ESPECIALLY
YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION!
MILO, THE BOTTLE
OF LAUGHTER.
USE THIS BOTTLE OF LAUGHTER
I GOT FROM DR. DISCHORD.
HE CAN'T TAKE AWAY
OUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
[LAUGHING]
STOP THAT!
HEE HEE HEE!
STOP THAT!
STOP THAT AT...
AT ONCE.
STOP.
STOP.
HELLO, LITTLE BOY.
HUH?
WELCOME TO YOU,
YOUR FAITHFUL DOG,
AND THAT HANDSOME
GENTLEMAN.
I'M SO TERRIBLY HAPPY
TO SEE ALL OF YOU,
BUT BEFORE YOU TRAVEL ON,
I WONDER IF YOU COULD
SPARE ME A LITTLE TIME
TO ASSIST ME WITH
A FEW TRIVIAL TASKS.
WHY, OF COURSE.
WE'RE IN NO HURRY.
DON'T DO IT, MILO.
BUT, TOCK, WE NEED ALL
THE FRIENDS WE CAN GET UP HERE.
BESIDES, IT'S ONLY
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
NOW, YOUNG MAN,
IF YOU'LL JUST TAKE
THOSE EXQUISITE TWEEZERS
AND MOVE
THIS PILE OF SAND
FROM HERE TO HERE.
WITH THESE?
OF COURSE.
AND YOU, SIR,
HAVE THE PRIVILEGE
OF TAKING
THIS DELICATE NEEDLE
AND DIGGING A HOLE
THROUGH THIS CLIFF.
WHY, THANK YOU, SIR.
AN EXACTING
ASSIGNMENT,
QUITE WORTHY OF MY TALENTS.
I SHALL ENJOY IT NO END.
DON'T BE A FOOL, BUG.
I THINK THIS BIRD
IS THE TERRIBLE--
AND YOU, SIR GET TO TAKE
THIS EYEDROPPER
AND EMPTY THAT WELL.
BUT THESE TASKS DON' SEEM VERY IMPORTANT.
OF COURSE
THEY'RE NOT IMPORTANT.
IF YOU'LL ALWAYS DO THE
EASY AND USELESS JOBS,
YOU'LL
NEVER HAVE TO WORRY
ABOU THE IMPORTANT ONES.
RIGHT.
NOW I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
YOU'RE THE TERRIBLE TRIVIUM.
QUITE CORRECT.
THE TERRIBLE TRIVIUM--
DEMON OF PETTY TASKS
AND WORTHLESS JOBS,
OGRE OF WASTED EFFORT.
COME ON, HUMBUG.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
AND FRIEND TO LAZY
AND FOOLISH PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.
[BARKING]
RUN, MILO! RUN!
COME BACK.
COME BACK.
THERE ARE SO MANY
THINGS TO TAKE AWAY
AND THINGS
TO BRING BACK.
SO MANY STAMPS TO LICK,
SO MANY PENCILS
TO SHARPEN.
THERE ARE SO MANY
HOLES TO DIG.
SO MANY NAILS
TO STRAIGHTEN.
SO MANY DOODLES
TO DOODLE.
SO MANY GOOFS
TO OFF.
COME BACK.
THERE ARE SO MANY
USELESS THINGS YET TO DO.
THERE ARE STRINGS
TO TIE,
NITS TO PICK,
FINGERNAILS TO BITE,
PAPER CLIPS TO UNBEND--
[GASP]
LIVES TO SAVE!
RUN. RUN. HE'S
STILL AFTER YOU.
THIS WAY.
THIS WAY. HURRY!
I'M YOUR FRIEND.
UP HERE, QUICKLY.
I'LL HELP YOU.
GOOD. GOOD.
STRAIGHT AHEAD.
HURRY!
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
YEOW!
[THUD]
WHA HA HA HA!
I TRAPPED YOU, DIDN'T I?
I'M THE LONG-NOSED,
GREEN-EYED, CURLY-HAIRED,
WIDE-MOUTHED, BOWLEGGED,
BIG-FOOTED MONSTER,
AND IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.
I'M ONE OF THE MOS DREADED FIENDS
IN THE WHOLE WIDE
WILDERNESS!
HA HA HA HA!
IT SOUNDS LIKE
WE'RE DOOMED.
SOUNDS IS RIGHT.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I'VE LEARNED AROUND HERE,
IT'S THAT PEOPLE AREN' ALWAYS WHAT THEY SAY THEY ARE.
WITH AWFUL, HIDEOUS ME HERE,
YOU WOULDN'T DARE
TRY TO ESCAPE.
WHA HA HA HA!
WHY, I'LL TEAR ANYONE APAR THAT TRIES TO
GET OUT OF THERE!
FOR I'M THE LONG-NOSED,
GREEN-EYED, CURLY-HAIRED,
WIDE-MOUTHED, THICK-NECKED,
BROAD-SHOULDERED,
ROUND-BODIED,
SHORT-ARMED, BOWLEGGED,
BIG-FOOTED MONSTER!
ONE FALSE MOVE
AND I'LL...
I'LL--I'LL CHEW UP
THE LOT OF YOU.
I'LL--I'LL RIP YOU TO RIBBONS.
[WHISTLING]
I'LL SHRED YOU TO...
TO HAMBURGER.
I'LL...I'LL...
ACTUALLY, I'M THE DEMON
OF INSINCERITY.
I DON'T MEAN WHAT I SAY.
I DON'T MEAN WHAT I DO.
I'M JUST MEAN,
I GUESS.
NOW YOU HAVE TO
GO AND SPOIL EVERYTHING.
[SOBBING]
IF HE'S TYPICAL
OF THE MONSTERS
AROUND HERE,
WE HAVE NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
IT'S THE GELATINOUS
GIANT.
AND WHA HAVE WE HERE?
AHA! I SEE.
BREAKFAST.
[MILO]
WAIT. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.
AN IDEA? [GROANS]
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I CAN'T SWALLOW,
IT'S AN IDEA.
WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT I HAVE A BAGFUL
OF ALL THE IDEAS
IN THE WORLD RIGHT HERE.
NO. NO, NO, NO.
DON'T OPEN IT.
LEAVE WELL ENOUGH
ALONE.
DON'T TAKE CHANCES.
KEEP THINGS
AS THEY ARE.
CHANGES ARE
SO FRIGHTENING.
NO...NEW...
IDEAS...
TOCK, HUMBUG, LOOK!
THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR!
AT LAS WE'VE MADE IT!
OH, VICTORY!
AH HA HA!
VICTORY AT LAST!
WE'VE DONE IT!
PERSEVERANCE
PREVAILS.
NO PROBLEMS.
CLEAR SAILING.
[GULP]
THE DEMONS OF IGNORANCE.
DOWN WITH THE ENEMIES
OF IGNORANCE!
THERE THEY ARE!
GET 'EM!
THERE'S THE HORRIBLE
HOPPING HINDSIGH AND THE GORGONS
OF HATE AND MALICE.
THERE'S
THE THREADBARE EXCUSE.
WH-WH-WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO NOW?
DO? WHY, WE'RE GOING TO
MAKE A STAND RIGHT HERE.
I THINK JUMPING
MIGHT BE SAFER.
KING AZAZ
AND THE MATHEMAGICIAN
SAID THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN'T DO
IF I USE
WORDS AND NUMBERS RIGHT.
AND I HAVE A HUNCH
IF I USE THEM TOGETHER,
THEN I CAN DO ANYTHING.
NOW, WHO'S FIRST?
THERE'S THE HIDEOUS
TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE.
TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE.
HMM, LET'S SEE.
V FOR VICTORY OVER
TWO-FACED HYPOCRITE.
NOW, IF YOU TAKE AWAY
THE TWO FACES,
THAT LEAVES V OVER (h).
FORTHRIGHT.
THIS SHOULD BE THE ANSWER.
ALL WE NEED IS A 4.
WELL DONE, ME BOY.
WELL DONE.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I CAN'T ABIDE,
IT'S A HYPOCRITE.
MILO, QUICK.
IT'S THE OVERBEARING
KNOW-IT-ALL.
YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME
AND MINDED YOU OWN BUSINESS.
YOU NEVER LISTEN
TO YOUR BETTERS.
I TRIED TO TELL YOU,
BUT, OH, NO.
I'M ALWAYS RIGH ABOUT THESE THINGS.
I THINK I KNOW
JUST THE WORD FOR HIM.
HUMILITY.
THIS SHOULD
DO THE JOB NICELY.
I TOLD YOU,
I TOLD YOU--
THERE ARE SO MANY
THINGS TO TAKE AWAY
AND THINGS
TO BRING BACK.
SO MANY HOLES TO DIG.
SO MANY DOODLES
TO DOODLE.
SO MANY
USELESS THINGS YET TO DO.
UH-OH.
RUN, EVERYBODY! RUN!
[BARKING]
TOCK, TOCK,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
PLEASE SAY
SOMETHING, TOCK.
PLEASE TICK OR SOMETHING.
HE'S NOT TICKING.
OH, HUMBUG.
HIS MAINSPRING'S
BROKEN.
HE'S STOPPED TICKING.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
WATCH HIM NOW.
I'VE GOT TO GE RHYME AND REASON.
HURRY, MILO, HURRY.
WELCOME, MILO,
TO THE CASTLE
IN THE AIR.
BUT HOW DO YOU
KNOW WHO I AM?
ARE YOU
THE PRINCESSES?
YES, MY DEAR.
THIS IS MY SISTER,
THE PRINCESS
OF SWEET RHYME,
AND I AM CALLED
THE PRINCESS
OF PURE REASON.
AND AS FOR KNOWING
WHO YOU ARE,
WHY, WE SEN FOR YOU.
SENT FOR ME?
YES.
YOU SEE, MILO,
WE HAD TO
FIND A BOY
WHO WAS SO BORED,
HE WOULD GO ANYWHERE
AND DO
ALMOST ANYTHING
TO GET AWAY
FROM IT ALL.
ONLY SUCH A BOY
COULD RESCUE US.
BUT HE ALSO HAD TO
HAVE COURAGE AND CURIOSITY
AND KINDNESS.
THAT'S WHY WE CHOSE YOU.
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW.
I'VE MADE
SO MANY MISTAKES.
I'VE MESSED UP
THE WHOLE SKY, AND I--
NEVER FEEL BADLY
ABOUT MAKING MISTAKES,
BECAUSE OFTEN
YOU LEARN MORE
BY BEING WRONG
FOR RIGHT REASONS...
THAN BY BEING RIGH FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
WHAT ABOUT TOCK?
HE'S BROKEN...
OR DEAD OR RUN DOWN
OR WHATEVER
WATCHDOGS DO.
WE'VE GOT TO
HELP HIM.
WE CAN HELP EVERYONE
NOW, MILO.
YOU MEAN NOW THAT KING AZAZ
AND THE MATHEMAGICIAN
HAVE AGREED TO DISAGREE?
YES, MILO.
NOW THAT YOU'VE
HELPED THEM UNDERSTAND
HOW FOOLISH THEY WERE
TO DISAGREE AT ALL.
BUT HOW
CAN WE GET DOWN?
THE STAIRWAY IS GONE.
WE THINK YOU MEAN
WHETHERWE CAN GET DOWN,
DON'T YOU, MILO?
BECAUSE UNLESS
I'M MISTAKEN,
HERE COMES YOUR OLD
FRIEND THE WHETHER MAN.
WELL, NOW.
WELL, NOW. WELL, NOW.
IF IT ISN'T THE LITTLE BOY
WHO GOT LOS TRYING TO FIND HIS WAY.
EXPECT EVERYTHING,
I ALWAYS SAY,
AND THE UNEXPECTED
NEVER HAPPENS.
BUT NEVER MIND THAT.
WHAT YOU REALLY NEED NOW
IS A "HOW," ISN'T IT?
AND PERHAPS A "HERE"
TO GO WITH IT?
WITH A "HERE'S HOW,"
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
OH, AND IT'S ALSO
AN EXCELLENT WAY
OF GETTING FROM
ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER.
HERE'S HOW.
[TICKING]
[RINGING]
OH, TOCK...
HEH HEH...
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
EGAD, I'M GORGEOUS.
COME ALONG. COME ALONG.
COME ALONG.
WE DON'T WANT TO MISS
THE GREAT CELEBRATION.
[RINGING]
WHEW!
I REALLY THOUGH I'D BUSTED MY MAINSPRING.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, LAD?
OH, YES.
AND LOOK, TOCK,
RHYME AND REASON
ARE STRAIGHTENING OU THE MESS
I MADE OF THE SKY.
AH, 5:23,
RIGHT ON TIME.
HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN
BY ALL MEN
THAT RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
TIME IS MADE
THE MOST OF NOW
EVEN SECONDS COUN TIME, WE SAY,
WE BOAST OF NOW
AS OUR SAVINGS MOUN HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN BY ALL
EVERYONE'S INNOCEN UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
INNOCENT. INNOCENT.
INNOCENT, INNOCENT,
INNOCENT, INNOCENT, INNOCENT.
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
HEREWITH AND THEREWITH
LET EVERYONE
TAKE NOTE NOW
THAT SENSE AND SANITY
PREVAIL
WHEN WE LOOK,
WE SEE AGAIN
BLISS AND HAPPY TEARS
MELODIES FLOAT FREE AGAIN,
DISCHORDS DISAPPEAR
HEREWITH AND THEREWITH,
LET IT BE KNOWN BY ALL
A-L-L.
ALL.
SENSE AND SANITY PREVAIL
SENSE AND SANITY PREVAIL
HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN
BY EACH MAN
THAT RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
NUMBERS ALL
ADD UP AGAIN
WORDS ARE
FOR THE WISE
UP, EVERYONE,
WITH CUP AGAIN
REASON'S ON THE RISE
HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH
LET IT BE KNOWN BY ALL
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
SENSE AND SANITY PREVAIL
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
RHYME AND REASON
REIGN ONCE MORE
[AH-OOH-GA]
[AH-OOH-GA]
WHERE ARE YOU,
MILO? MILO?
RALPH, ARE YOU
STILL THERE?
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES?
WHERE HAVE I BEEN
THE LAST FIVE MINUTES?
FIVE MINUTES?
RALPH, ARE YOU CRAZY?
LISTEN, LISTEN.
CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
I'VE JUST COME BACK
FROM THE MOST WONDERFUL
PLACE IN THE WORLD.
AND, RALPH, GUESS WHAT.
I MESSED UP A SUNRISE.
THAT'S SILLY.
HOW DO YOU
MESS UP A SUNRISE?
SOMEBODY
HAS TO CONDUCT IT.
HOW ELSE WOULD YOU
GET THE REDS
AND THE ORANGES
AND THE YELLOWS?
RALPH,
ARE YOU LISTENING?
RALPH, ARE YOU THERE?
I CAN'T TALK
TO YOU NOW.
SOMETHING FUNNY'S
IN MY BEDROOM.
SOMETHING FUNNY
IN YOUR BEDROOM?
YEAH. IT'S A BIG BOX.
A BIG BOX?
OH, BOY.
TIME IS A GIFT,
PRECIOUS AND RARE
TAKE IT AND MAKE OF I ALL YOU CAN
EYES ARE A GIFT,
GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE WORLD TO SEE
LIFE IS A GIFT,
GIVEN TO YOU
GIVEN TO GIVE YOU
THE TIME YOU NEED
NO HOPE
IS TOO HIGH, MILO
NO HOPE IS TOO HIGH, MILO
NO DREAM TOO BIG TO DREAM
YOU CAN CLIMB A CLOUD
TO A SUNSHINE BEAM
POLISH UP YOUR SILVER SPOON
SAY THE WORD
AND CALL THE TUNE
ALL THE WORLD'S
YOUR DREAM BALLOON
COME AND CATCH THE MOON
MILO, OPEN YOUR EYES
LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEE
SEE HOW WONDERFUL
LIFE CAN BE
MILO
MILO