The Present (2024) Movie Script
1
[mysterious music plays]
[clock ticking]
[sighs]
[Emma] Mom,
he's taking all the chicken!
[Jen] Can you just wait
until everyone's at the table?
[Max] Hey, still going to
camp out tonight?
[Emma] We're too old
for that stuff.
[Max] I know,
I was just kidding.
[Emma] Besides,
I'm going to a party tonight.
We talked about that.
The answer is no.
I'm literally missing
the party of the year
for a family dinner?
Everyone's going to be there.
-Not everyone.
-Shut up, Max!
Oh gosh, please stop
shouting at your brother.
Taylor's having dinner with us?
Something's going down.
So, your dad and I wanted to
talk to the three of you
all in the same place
about something important.
Mm-hmm. It's--
-This is important. [coughs]
-I just said that.
-I understand.
-Yeah, okay.
Okay, so your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you,
because we've decided
that we need to make a change.
No way.
-What are you talking about?
-They're getting divorced.
-No, no, no. It's just--
-It's a trial separation.
I don't want--
You're going on trial?
No, no, no,
we're just going to live apart.
-[Jen] Yeah, we're not.
-I don't wanna go on trial.
-They're not going on trial.
-[Jen] There is no trial.
[overlapping talking]
[Emma] They're getting divorced,
that's what that means.
-For forever, just say it!
-Oh, gosh!
Guys, would you please
just listen to me for a moment.
-[Jen] Taylor--
-[Max] Why are you on trial?
Oh, so you're going to
just get up and leave.
[dialogue rewinds]
[truck beeping in reverse]
[sighs]
[man] I'm waiting!
[indistinct shouting]
[gentle music plays]
[groans] Well, at least
I won't have to
get used to sleeping alone.
I wouldn't go there
if I were you.
[Eric] All right, so...
we're doing it
tonight at dinner.
-[Jen] Where will you stay?
-[Eric] I don't really know.
Dan's got an extra room.
-Oh, his place is disgusting.
-[Eric] Yeah.
I don't suppose
you want to move out.
Don't put it on me.
[Eric] Max!
[upbeat rock music plays]
[Emma] Mom!
He's doing it again!
[Eric] Hey, Max!
You're going to talk to Taylor.
Yeah, and then
you talk to Max and Emma.
-I know, I know.
-[Emma] Mom, he's doing it!
-[Emma] Stop!
-Stop it.
Guys, guys, listen.
This is important.
No excuses,
we need everyone at dinner.
Seriously? Tonight?
-Will we have favorite chicken?
-[Jen] Yeah, sure, sweetie.
No, wait, but Jimmy's having
a party tonight.
It's always
the best party of the year.
Everyone's counting on me
to be there.
You're 16.
What's everyone
counting on you for?
-God, Dad.
-Is Jacob going to be there?
[scoffs] What?
I don't-- I don't know.
Who cares about him?
-He'll definitely be there.
-[doorbell chimes]
Don't you have
a plate to bang on?
Hey, don't hit your brother.
[Emma] Oh, my God. Stop.
-[Max] Hit me again.
-[Eric] That is enough.
[Emma] Thank you.
-[Jen] Oh, no.
-God, Jimmy!
Eric!
-Oh.
-What?
[Eric] Well,
we gave away everything else
my father had in storage.
What are we supposed to do
with a giant,
broken clock that nobody wants?
This is a rare antique, Jen.
-It's kind of creepy.
-Go wait in the car.
Don't you feel like we should be
clearing stuff away right now,
with everything
that we're going through?
Yeah, I'll-- I'll have them
-put it in the basement.
-No.
You know
how Taylor feels about change.
Well, you can tell
Taylor about it
-when you tell him about dinner.
-That was not part of our deal.
-And I'll tell Emma.
-No.
Yeah. Emma!
-Basement's this way.
-Basement.
-You guys got it?
-[man groans]
-[man] Let's get down there.
-[Jen] I'm so sorry.
[man] All right.
Bring it down. Rotate.
Yeah, just
leave it at the bottom
of the stairs, honestly.
[Obama's voice] Hey, Mom.
Oh. Hey, Taylor.
[Obama's voice] They can bring
the clock over here.
[Jen groans]
[mysterious music plays]
What is that?
The clock can help you
now and then,
but only you can change events.
Huh. Hokey.
This is between you
and your dad.
If you want to pull it apart,
or throw it from a cliff,
you can,
but just don't pull that
over on yourself,
it looks pretty heavy.
12-hour repeater.
There's something else
I need to talk to you about.
[Jen sighs]
[Obama's voice] You want me
to be at dinner tonight?
Yeah. How'd you know that?
[Obama's voice]
Now, get the door.
[doorbell chimes]
Huh.
[gentle music plays]
-Hi.
-[courier] Hey.
Another package
-for young Taylor.
-Huh.
Still adding on
to his computer, eh?
-Never ends.
-Don't we have to go?
Oh, yes. You got your bag?
It's on my back.
[Jen exclaims] What was--
Ew, gross!
-[Max] It's on your shoe.
-Disgusting!
[Jen] Oh, God!
["Bad Intentions" by Marius
De La Mer & Indie Elliott]
I got bad intentions for you
Why doesn't Emma
take me anymore?
Oh, honey, she just wants to
drive alone right now.
She never wants to
be with me anymore.
-Is she sick of me?
-She's sick of everyone.
I kind of feel like Taylor got
the best deal of all of us.
-Taylor?
-Yeah.
I mean,
because he has all these issues
that were diagnosed
by professionals,
he gets to sit in the basement
all day playing video games.
Honey, Taylor has
a really hard time.
I mean, can you imagine
not wanting to be touched,
not wanting to go outside?
Today, he was actually
fixing Grandpa's clock.
-That old piece of shit?
-Max!
-Yeah. That old piece of shit.
-[Max chuckles]
Let's turn that bar to four.
We're here together, guys.
-Let's do this, people!
-This is our moment.
We're going to take it.
No negativity.
Let's be positive!
[Richard] What an incredible
session in there.
-[Jen] Oh, thanks.
-[Richard exhales]
Sorry about that brutal class.
I'm clearly working
through some feelings.
Are you kidding me?
I feel like you took me
to a whole new level in there.
-Really?
-[Richard] Yeah. Yeah.
I'm really excited about
tomorrow's private session.
Oh, actually, you need
to get me a signed release.
My studio doesn't want to be
sued by some rich lawyer.
[Richard] I would never sue you,
Jen. Never. [laughs]
I would totally sue
anybody you want me to.
Oh, I mean, I'm sure
that won't be necessary, but--
No, no, no, I'm serious, Jen.
Just think of me
as your legal eagle.
Ready to dive in and eviscerate
anybody in a moment's notice.
-Really?
-[car crashes]
What the hell?
-What did you do to my car?
-You didn't see him?
-See what?
-The kid.
He ran into the middle
of the street.
-I barely missed him!
-Taylor?
[Richard] Do you have insurance?
[mysterious music plays]
Taylor?
Taylor?
-[door clicks]
-[footsteps approaching]
Oh.
Taylor, did you just--
Did you leave the house, honey?
Oh, wow,
you fixed Grandpa's clock?
Wait, is that the time?
Okay, I'm late
for an appointment.
I've got to go.
If you want to go out the house,
just don't do it alone, okay?
I love you.
[Obama's voice] I love you, too.
[door clicks]
[Jen sighs]
Have you noticed anything
unusual about Taylor lately?
I saw him this morning.
Dropped a package off to him.
Really?
Yeah, Jennifer.
Is that so surprising to you?
[Jen] No, no, I didn't mean
that. I went to the basement.
He's my son, too,
so sometimes I--
I just felt like
I was wondering, because
-when I went down to the--
-[indistinct] with him.
Hello.
Let's save some of that
for our space,
-shall we?
-Okay.
[shushing] [indistinct]
[chuckles] Yes.
So, um--
so, it's happening tonight.
Mm.
Oh, yes.
As we talked about last week.
So, hashtag splitting up.
How are you going to communicate
this to the three of them?
Their family dynamic...
-is about to change.
-[Jen] Well, we don't know.
That's-- that's why
we're here, seeing you.
[therapist] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Is that what you would
like to talk about?
-Yeah.
-[therapist] Mm-hmm.
That's-- that's why we're here.
Great. Eric?
Yes?
Would you like
to contribute to this?
Sure, I'm just tired...
-[therapist] Mm-hmm.
-...of it all.
The distrust, the...
disinterest...
-the dislike.
-Mm.
If we're going to be single,
maybe it's best
just to get this over with.
-[therapist] Okay.
-Better for everyone.
I hear you, brother. I hear you.
-So, here's what we'll do. Okay?
-Okay.
We will approach
how you would like
this conversation
with your children...
[whistles]
...unspooling.
Oh, we don't know
how to unspool it.
That's why we're here.
That's why we're talking to you.
Right, uh--
I'm sensing a little bit of
anger from you, Jen,
if I'm going to be
honest with you.
And I think that you should get
your vitamin D tested.
You could schedule
a test from Quest.
-Right at your home.
-So, I'm not angry, actually.
And there's nothing wrong
-with my vitamin D.
-Mm...
Can I just say
you're diminishing my feelings
by putting them all
down to a physical ailment.
I have a teenage daughter
who hates me half the time.
I've got a son who doesn't.
He doesn't want to be touched.
I'm splitting up
-from my husband.
-Mm-hmm.
And you know
what the worst part is?
We're paying you
to water your plants.
Technically, Jen,
not to correct you,
but they are not plants.
[chuckles]
You know, they--
they are flowering plants.
But they're not flowers
or plants.
It's important
we use the right terminology.
[water spraying]
[Jen] His obsession
with flowers really bugs me.
Jennifer, I believe
it's a flowering plant
obsession.
And have you noticed
he starts spritzing
every time he talks about anger?
Yes! My gosh.
-Who-- who recommended him?
-[Jen laughs]
They're in your bag.
-Oh!
-[keys jangling]
Hey, I got a little break.
I don't suppose you want to, um,
I don't know, go back to the...
house, you know?
Take a nap or whatever?
[laughs] Are you serious?
We're still married.
In some countries,
you'd have to.
Eric.
[cell phone dings]
[diner din]
[Richard sighs] Hey.
I thought this was your office.
It is. Sometimes.
Please, sit down.
[sighs] And here you go.
You could have scanned this.
Oh, this is
a lot more fun, right?
-[Jen chuckles]
-Uh, I have to confirm.
There's no nuts
in any of this, right?
-None.
-All right. Let's do this.
This is
the best tamponade in town.
I can't think of anybody else
I'd rather
share it with than you.
You're going to love it.
Jen, this might be
a little out of line, but...
I care for you.
While I might not know too much
about your personal life,
I can see
that you're not happy right now.
Come on, please.
Tell me how I can help.
Are you okay?
No. [laughs]
How can I be okay
when you're unhappy?
Something's happening.
[clears throat]
You feel it, too? [gasps]
It's true.
I've had a connection with you
ever since I met you.
No, something
is happening to your face.
Your face is all puffy and red.
-I'll call 911.
-[wheezes] No.
[wheezing]
EpiPen. EpiPen. My car.
-EpiPen.
-[Richard wheezes] Oh, God.
-[Jen] Richard, are you okay?
-[Richard coughing]
-Where is it?
-[Richard wheezing]
-Okay. Get in the car.
-[whimpers] My window!
-Speak to me!
-Compartment. [gasps]
Oh! Found it. It's okay.
Everything's under control.
[Jen whoops] Okay.
[wheezing] Let's do this.
Oh, God.
[raspy breathing]
[Richard and Jen scream out]
-[Jen] Oh, God.
-[Richard gasping for air]
Why do I feel like we should
be smoking cigarettes?
[both chuckling]
Please.
Come for the man
whose life you just saved.
I-- I can't believe
they gave you peanuts
after everything that you said.
It's not peanuts.
It's tree nuts.
Like almonds.
[mysterious music plays]
What is it?
I'm sorry.
-Everything okay?
-Oh.
Hey, Emma. How are you?
Yeah. I'm so sorry.
I just lost track of time.
Wait. What? He's what?
-When did you last see him?
-[Richard] Till tomorrow.
That went good.
[intense music plays]
-Taylor?
-[Emma] Mom? Mom, Taylor left.
[Max] I didn't know
where you were.
-[Jen] Is he back?
-[Max] No, he left the house.
He never leaves the house.
He's not here.
-Hey, Taylor?
-[indistinct] the basement.
Oh! Oh, my God, Taylor.
What a relief.
Mom, what's your problem?
He doesn't like to be touched.
I know, honey.
Don't ever go out
of the house alone.
Do you understand?
What were you doing?
[Emma] What is your problem?
Taylor, where were you?
Were you
at the restaurant right now?
-What restaurant?
-[Emma] Psycho much?
Chill, Mom. He's fine.
[Max] At least we're having
favorite chicken
for dinner tonight.
[Jen sighs]
[door creaks, clicks]
[Jen sighs]
Oh.
-Thank you for saving the day.
-Well.
Just do what I'm told.
You know, for months,
I've been just so confident
that we're doing
the right thing and then...
today I'm like... [sniffles]
...what are we doing?
Jen.
Come on, we--
Listen.
We-- we-- we can wait, okay?
We don't have to
tell them tonight.
All right?
[exhales] Thank you.
Happy to see me?
What? Why?
You have a bulge in your pocket.
-Really?
-Just right there.
-[laughs] I felt it.
-Oh. Yes.
Student had
an allergic reaction,
so I had to
give him an injection.
-You?
-Uh-huh.
-You did this? You hate needles.
-Right?
-I had to give him an injection.
-Oh, my gosh.
Was there nobody
at the studio to do this?
You must have freaked.
Oh, we were at a restaurant.
I guess somebody, um--
somebody gave him almonds.
Restaurant?
Who-- who-- who-- who's the guy?
Uh, Richard. Richard.
-Who?
-Um, he's a-- Yeah.
He's a-- a young guy
that just joined my class.
Huh?
But, you know, nothing happened.
I mean, we held hands and--
Well, that's it, so...
-Congratulations.
-[EpiPen clattering]
Wait, wha--
I can't hold hands with somebody
when you're moving out?
I knew it'd be a student.
[somber music playing]
[muffled talking]
[Emma] I'm literally missing
the party of the year
for a family dinner?
-Everyone's going to be there.
-[Max] Not everyone.
[Emma] Shut up, Max.
Guys, everybody
stop fighting, please.
[Max] Taylor's having
dinner with us?
[sighs]
So, your dad and I, um...
We wanted to talk
to the three of you,
all in the same place, um,
about something
really important.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is important.
-[Jen] I already said that.
-[Eric] I know you did.
Okay. So, anyway, you're--
Taylor, um-- Tay--
I haven't even--
Hey, we're not done talking
here.
[Jen] Taylor, sweetie!
Taylor!
[dialogue rewinding]
[truck beeping in reverse]
-[sighs]
-[phone buzzes]
[hopeful music plays]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[upbeat rock music
plays on guitar]
Max!
Hey!
Mom, he's doing it again!
-[tapping]
-Hey!
Max, stop.
-[indistinct talking]
-Stop. Mom!
Mom, he's doing it again.
-Make him stop.
-[Eric] Hey, listen up.
This is important.
We need everyone at dinner.
-Seriously?
-[Eric] Mm-hmm.
Tonight?
[Eric] Okay. All right, honey.
I'm going to dispense
with all the formalities
and just bribe you.
What will it take
to get you at dinner, huh?
[Emma]
Why are you doing this to me?
Uh, it's not--
It's just tonight, honey, okay?
Tomorrow night,
you can go out with Jacob.
Till 10:30 at night.
11:30?
I told you, I don't even
want to go out with him.
It doesn't have to be Jacob.
It could be any
of the Old Testament prophets.
I'll-- I'll pay
for non-alcoholic beverages
and G-rated movies and...
abstinence pamphlets.
[Emma sighs]
Thank you.
-Whatever.
-I mean it.
Not just for this,
for everything, I--
[sighs]
We never have to
worry about you.
You've never been able
to worry about me.
There's a difference.
[car door slams]
Um...
I have to
tell you something, Jacob.
I can't go
to Jamie's party anymore.
-My parents need me at dinner.
-Uh--
Emma! [scoffs]
I bought these.
An entire box. Very optimistic.
Let's just do it at my place.
Right now.
You have
a death metal bedspread.
And little planes
hanging above your bed.
Okay,
they're Jedi Starfighters.
Oh, my God.
This is why
you're still a virgin.
Guess I lucked out then.
[somber music plays]
[muffled talking]
Say, good sir.
Why do you start and things
that do sound so fair.
All hail Macbeth.
Hail to the king--
What's this about
you not going to Jamie's party?
[groans] My parents.
They want me at some dinner.
Hey, uh-- Good stuff...
witches.
And on stage,
he's so good at killing people.
-[Emma exhales]
-[Jacob] Hey.
Eva, can I talk to you
for a second?
Sure.
Oh, whatever.
After all,
he already bought an entire box.
[sighs]
-Hey.
-[Emma sniffles]
You okay?
[chuckles] Yeah.
You know,
life's but a walking shadow.
You're doing really well,
by the way.
Yeah, the-- the scene.
Thanks.
So are you.
And I'm not just saying that
because my character would.
All hail!
[both chuckle]
You know,
they're, um-- they're showing
Denzel's version
at the university.
Um, I thought it'd be fun
to see, you know,
his interpretation
of the Scottish play.
I thought that maybe we could
do that or something else,
-or just, you know, that--
-Are you...
-asking me to the movie?
-No.
Maybe. Yes, yeah. I-- Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah? Oh-- Great.
Uh, okay, um--
Well, so, yeah,
it's-- it's tonight.
-So, we cou--
-[Emma sighs]
I can't.
Why is everything
happening tonight?
Emma. Emma, your--
Your mother called the office.
There's been
some kind of family emergency.
Oh, my God.
Cool. Cool, cool.
-Cool, cool, cool, cool.
-[door clicks]
[tense music plays]
Mom?
Mom? Dad?
Taylor, is Mom here?
You promised Mom you wouldn't
use her voice anymore.
[British male voice]
Hello, Emma.
I'm speaking to you
as a British pop star,
so you'll pay closer attention.
[Emma] I can't believe this.
I thought
there was an emergency.
[British male voice]
There is an emergency.
At dinner,
Mom and Dad will separate.
I need your help
to keep them together.
That's what this dinner's about?
I mean, I knew
they were having problems,
but Mom said
they were working them out.
How do you know this?
[British male voice]
The clock can turn back time.
Up to 12 hours.
[laughs] What? Come on.
[British male voice]
I found out when I fixed it
the first day it came.
That's today.
It came this morning.
[British male voice] This is
the 23rd version of today.
Which is how I know that
Mom and Dad are splitting up
at the end of it.
And how I know the next words
you're going to say.
This is stupid.
Yeah, of course you knew that.
This is stupid.
Um, how about this?
Blueberry buttercup
fatty pickles.
[dramatic music plays]
[British male voice] I think
I know how to stop Mom,
but I need your help with Dad.
They're making a big mistake.
How do you know it's a mistake?
I mean, better now than later.
Spoiler alert. Love sucks.
It never lasts.
[British male voice]
Jacob's a wanker.
Mom and Dad are different.
[tense music plays]
[Taylor panting]
-[Taylor vomits]
-Oh, God!
You're done barfing, right?
'Cause I just cleaned my car.
Yeah? Oh-- [groans]
[Emma sighs]
We're off to a flying start.
[British male voice]
Pull over. Here.
Sorry we haven't spent
much time together lately.
We don't really
talk much anymore, do we?
I know we're
not supposed to talk about
the not talking, but...
You can talk, right?
You just don't want to?
Look...
I don't blame you.
Most of what people say
is really stupid.
I just wonder if...
Taylor, where are you going?
Taylor, what are you doing?
[breathing heavily] Oh, my God.
[man] Goddamn.
What did you do to my car?
You didn't see him?
-See what?
-The kid!
Dude, what the hell
just happened?
The car almost hit you.
You almost got killed.
Oh, my God.
If Mom and Dad knew
what you were doing
right now, you'd be so grounded.
[British male voice]
I love being grounded.
But that was the easy part.
Now is where I need your help.
[Emma sighs] Look at him.
No wonder they're in trouble.
Mom's beautiful,
and he's a mess.
It's like
he's not even trying anymore.
And he's smoking again?
He's such a loser.
How is that our dad?
[British male voice]
It's all we have to work with.
Yeah, I know.
[indistinct chatter]
I have an idea,
but we need money.
Taylor, is that real?
[gasps] How did you get it?
[British male voice]
The stock market.
Is that totally ethical?
It's for a good cause, right?
Okay, so you're gonna
say to him,
"It's a promotion,
and we're giving free haircuts
to everyone in the office,
and it's your turn."
I don't like lying.
How short do you want it?
[upbeat music plays]
[British male voice]
We have 60 seconds.
Is this absolutely necessary?
No. Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Um...
[yelps and screams]
[indistinct chatter]
She noticed
his haircut, at least.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, they're going
somewhere together.
Like, this is great.
[British male voice]
I've never gotten them this
far.
This is huge.
They went home together.
We actually did it.
[British male voice]
We'll see at dinner.
I know...
I acted like I didn't care
when you first told me.
I guess...
I guess it's just easier
to act like you literally
don't care, right?
Because you don't have
any control of these things
that are happening to you.
The truth is, I can't imagine
Mom and Dad apart.
Oh, crap.
Mom's leaving by herself.
La Marmotte?
What were you doing
in the kitchen?
And who's that weird guy
with Mom?
I'm not breaking
into anyone's car.
I'm not doing it.
[British male voice]
I'm not strong enough.
Please. I'll explain later.
Get back.
That's an EpiPen.
It could save someone's life.
[Jen] Oh, my God.
You're not even breathing.
Where's the EpiPen?
[Richard coughing and choking]
Oh, God. Not my window.
Right there.
Oh, God. I found it.
Okay. [yelps]
Okay.
I'm putting it there!
I'm putting it there!
[Richard] Let's do it.
What?
Killing Mom's new boyfriend
isn't going to solve anything.
She needs a shock,
but not that kind of a shock.
[Jen] Oh, thank God.
She needs a vision.
Don't forget to stop
at the Mini-Mart
and buy favorite chicken
for dinner tonight.
[Jen] Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I'm on my way.
-[Richard] Till tomorrow!
-Who's that?
[Jen] Uh, just some crazy man
yelling at me from the street.
-Bye.
-[line beeping]
[British male voice]
It's Showtime.
Hey, Siri. Call Dylan.
[line ringing]
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow,
and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace
day to day,
To the last syllable
of recorded time;
Out, out, brief candle!
It is a tale told by an idiot
Filled with sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
"My spouse has died,
but yours still lives.
A chance to change your fate
and fate to you alone gives.
See the light
and change your way.
Change your way...
and change today."
It was really okay?
Oh, my God.
It was so much better than okay.
You totally blew her mind.
Okay. And-- and what was
that part at the end?
Uh, that wasn't in the play.
I wrote it to fit the occasion.
Wow, you're really good.
[chuckles] Thank you.
Um...
thank you again so much
for doing this.
-I--
-Yeah.
-Um...
-Uh...
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Tomorrow.
[whispering] Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow,
and tomorr--
-[car horn honks]
-[man] Hey, MacBeth!
Move it!
-[Emma] Hey, Mom.
-Oh, hey, kids.
-How was your day?
-Huh, weird.
Oh, yeah. I guess so.
No, I'm sorry.
I forgot about that.
I just, uh, saw it lying
by the side of the street.
I thought
that could stab somebody.
-Who would leave it there?
-Hmm.
-Maybe a crazy man?
-Hey, everybody.
Oh, oh, hey, hon.
-Can we talk?
-Yeah.
Looks good, right?
Your father and I wanted to
talk to the three of you
all in the same place
about something important.
But we're not gonna
do that tonight.
Instead, we're just gonna have
a nice family dinner, all right?
-[Jen] Right.
-[Eric] Dig in.
I'm gonna have this.
Now, thank you very much.
Are you-- are you kidding me?
-[Eric mumbles]
-Dylan Barlow.
I knew it. I knew his face.
I couldn't remember his name.
He's your friend, right?
No. Yes.
How do you know Dylan?
Well, his mom takes
my Wednesday morning class,
and he just followed me around
a supermarket...
-doing Shakespeare quotes.
-Huh?
That's really weird.
Why would he do that?
Yeah, that's what I'm
gonna find out, actually.
What are you doing?
I'm just gonna text his mom.
No, stop.
It was my idea.
I...
thought that it would change
your plans, and...
it did, right?
[laughs] My plans?
With Dad.
To get divorced.
-What?
-[Jen] Hey-- wait, no.
No, that's--
that's not what's happening.
-Have you been spying on us?
-Emma!
-Yeah, but I--
-[Jen] There is no but.
We do not snoop in this house.
We just don't.
We face each other
from a place of honesty.
Oh, yeah?
Is that what you told
the weird guy you met for drinks
before you went to his car
and pulled down his pants?
-Emma!
-Emma.
What are you--
What is she talking about?
Oh, a new private.
We met at a restaurant.
He had an allergic reaction.
It was nothing, but I had to
give him an injection.
-You hate needles.
-Mm-hmm.
Congratulations.
Mom and I
are separating, everybody.
-[Jen scoffs]
-I knew it would be a student.
Sweetie! No.
No. E-- Emma!
[both parents] Emma!
W-- wait. What's happening?
-Emma!
-[Jen] Just wait, sweetie.
Guys.
Fuck. Piece of shit.
Listen, we didn't mean
to spring it on you like that.
You know--
[dramatic music plays]
[music crescendos]
[truck beeping]
[groans]
[groans] Well,
At least I won't have to
get used to sleeping alone.
I wouldn't go there
if I were you.
So...
we're doing it tonight.
Where will you stay?
I-- I don't really know.
Da-- Dan has an extra room.
Dan? His place is disgusting.
I don't suppose
you want to move out?
Don't put it on me.
[rock music plays]
Max!
-[Max vocalizing]
-Max!
Hey! Max!
What do you want?
I'm rocking out.
Well, rock out in your own room.
With your own headphones.
Nobody wants to hear this.
-That's not true.
-And leave your sister alone.
Why are you--
why are you always annoying her?
See this space? Stay away.
So you're gonna
tell Taylor about dinner.
Then you're gonna
talk to Max and Emma.
Yes, yes.
Guys, Mom and I need
everyone at...
-[doorbell rings]
-...dinner.
It looks a lot worse
than when we put it in storage.
What does it matter?
It doesn't work.
It's kind of creepy.
It's got
these scuff marks all over it.
Got a scratch up here.
Looks like
the minute hand's missing.
You guys didn't drop it,
did you?
-Not yet.
-Take it down to the basement.
Taylor and I think
we can fix it.
Taylor? Are you...
[clock ticking]
[chuckles] Wow.
That's incredible.
[Obama's voice] Don't touch it.
It's very fragile.
Oh, right.
Of course.
Uh, amazing.
Uh, there's a package here
for President Obama himself.
Wow.
Well, that is amazing.
[Obama's voice]
Why are you moving out tonight?
Taylor?
Were you listening
in on our conversation?
Because you know,
we've talked to you
about listening before, and--
Well, that is amazing.
[Obama's voice] Promise me
that you'll never leave us.
[sobbing]
Oh, God.
I love you and your sister,
your brother so much.
I never wanted--
Well, that is amazing.
[Obama's voice] Are things
okay between you and Mom?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
No matter what happens...
I love you and your brother
and sister very much.
Fist bump?
All right.
I'll see you a little later,
all right?
Oh.
I forgot my coat.
Hey, Eric.
[Eric] Charlie.
[Charlie] Do you have
a plastic bag?
-No.
-[Charlie] Yeah, okay.
Never mind.
[phone rings]
Hey, Devan. What's up?
[Devan] I'm sorry, Mr. D.,
but I got some not-so-great
news
about your apartment.
Apparently, Harry Styles called
and wanted your apartment
for his LA pied--terre,
offered a bunch of cash,
and they gave it to him.
-Not cool.
-What-- what are--
-What are you talking about?
-And I get it.
I mean, I'm totally a Styler,
but also not cool.
No, no, no. Devan?
But the good news is
I checked out another place
that we manage
that you will love.
I can show it to you
this afternoon.
-It's great.
-Okay.
-Well, then, let's go--
-[line beeps]
Don't have misgivings.
This is part of the process.
-Here.
-Oh, thanks, Bill.
How's Devan? Is he helping?
Uh, yeah.
-He's a-- he's a real go-getter.
-Yeah.
I don't know what
I would've done without him
in my divorces.
Gotta have a bachelor pad.
Wait till you start putting it
to good use, right?
[clicks tongue]
How's Justin handling it?
Who?
Justin. Your son.
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, he's great.
I think
our relationship's probably...
it's as good as it's
ever gonna be, you know?
-Uh-huh.
-[Bill laughs]
-Uh, I'm gonna go get a latte.
-Yeah.
Grab me one, too.
-Hey, Dad.
-Oh, God.
Oh. [chuckles nervously]
This is for a friend.
Terrible habit.
I should-- he should quit.
-Yeah.
-Why aren't you at school?
They canceled it.
You expect me to believe that?
I believe you were holding
that cigarette for a friend.
Fair enough.
What can I do for you?
Well, I have these gift cards
from your last birthday
that you haven't used.
-These?
-Yeah.
They're brand-new.
Unlike your smoking habit,
which I'm willing
to keep a secret.
If what?
If you let me
give you a makeover.
What? Me? No.
Uh, what are you talking about?
-Dad.
-Honey,
I really do appreciate
the thought
and the general weirdness
of your sudden appearance here,
-but--
-Trust me.
You need one.
Desperately.
Are you sure, honey?
Yes, I'm sure.
You look amazing, Dad.
I don't feel
like myself, honestly.
Please you just have to
be confident.
But when you see Mom, please
tell her this was your idea.
-Okay.
-Okay?
I had nothing to do with it.
You did it for her.
No, no, no, no.
Honey, this isn't
a good idea for me
to be lying to
your mother right now.
No, you'll be fine. It's fine.
Ooh, what happened to you?
-You like it?
-Uh-huh.
Just decided to change my look.
In time for being single?
No, I did it all for you.
Well, I don't believe that.
Emma told me to say that.
She showed up at my work,
and she gave me a makeover.
-Emma?
-Yeah.
But wasn't she at school?
She said it was canceled.
-That's weird.
-Yeah.
Tip of the iceberg.
Weirdest day
I've ever experienced.
Well, maybe
it's just because you know
-what's happening tonight.
-Yeah.
Hey. Hello.
What is the deal
with the Diehls?
[laughs maniacally]
I-- I don't know.
Let's find out.
Let's find out together.
Come on in.
-How are you?
-Good.
How are you? Thank you.
I'm great.
This is-- this is great.
-[Jen] So, um...
-[Dr. Polhemus clears throat]
Sorry, family emergency.
So this is happening tonight.
Mmm. Mm-hmm. I hear that.
But what if--
what if it doesn't?
What do we have to do together
to keep you two from uncoupling?
I thought we were telling
the kids tonight at dinner,
and that's what
we've spoken about.
It feels a little soon.
Let's not rush into things.
I'm-- I'm sorry, did--
did something change?
Because last week, you were...
Last week was so last week,
am I right? [laughs]
I say so many things, you know.
Words just come out of my mouth.
Ju-- just trying things.
But this week,
I'm getting this vibe, right?
That you two
are just great people.
Great people who can either,
hey, stay together
or make the same mistakes
with less great people.
I don't know,
just spitballing here.
Why don't we just stay together,
you guys?
Are you serious?
I'm detecting a little bit
of anger in that voice.
Well, you just turned around
after months of discussion
-and-- and changed your mind.
-True.
I don't even know
what I'm doing.
There's nothing there.
There's nothing there. [sobs]
[whispering]
There's nothing there.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm keeping you two
from burning it all down.
-What are you doing?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Putting out the fire.
Cooling you off.
Cool off. [laughs]
How about a candy,
you guys, huh?
Let's sweeten the deal
for the Diehls.
Oh!
You just have a great last name.
I don't like my last name,
but we can't pick
our Danish stepfathers.
[in Danish accent] Nothing was
ever good enough for him.
[laughs maniacally] I'm okay.
What about when
he spritzed us with the water?
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with this guy?
-That's so unprofessional.
-Who-- who recommended him?
Bill. Bill from your work.
[laughs]
You're right.
-It wa-- it was.
-100%.
And by the way, you have lost,
like, ten years.
This haircut is so cute.
Oh.
Does that mean
we're touching each other again?
If so, maybe we go back
to the house,
take a nap.
Are you serious?
Well, we're still married.
[hopeful music plays]
Some countries you'd have to.
[laughs] Eric. Eric.
[both moaning and panting]
Turns out all we needed to do
to have a good nap was split up.
No wonder
half the country's divorced.
[groans] Right.
Why did we stop trying?
I don't know.
It's just easier, right?
Just give in to it.
Entropy.
You ever
think there's a way back?
What?
[groans] You ever think there--
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
Nothing.
-[Jen chuckles]
-[Eric grunts]
[groans] Yeah.
Are you all right?
Yeah. Fine.
Ugh.
I got to make a work call.
I got a new private.
Mmm. Lucky guy.
How do you know it's a guy?
Lucky guess.
I'll leave you in private,
so you make your call
to your private.
What?
[Eric] Ooh.
Now, as you can see,
everything is up-to-the-minute,
cutting-edge, state-of-the-art.
Everything that
the modern, hot, single man,
especially with this look,
could ask for.
Yeah, okay, and I want to be
clear about this.
This place
is available immediately.
Oh, yeah, it's all yours.
No worries.
And wait till
the new hookups see this place.
I'm talking muy enthusiastic
consent, hombre.
-Okay.
-Okay?
And most of
the residents are single,
so you don't have to
deal with any annoying kids.
All right, right this way.
[door panel beeps]
-All right. Here we go.
-[door creaks open]
And you are going to
love this place.
-Okay?
-[door beeping]
[synthetic voice] Wrong number--
Oh, the gate's
a little malfunctioning.
Okay, hold on, let's do
a [indistinct]. [laughs]
Here we go.
Welcome
to your new bachelor pa--
Oh, my Lord!
Yeah, it was perfect
this morning!
You know, I-- I-- I'm sorry,
Mr. Diehl.
We'll get this fixed up
and have it good as new.
[continues inaudibly]
What am I doing?
[Jen] Oh, God,
I forgot about that, yeah.
Who would put it there?
-Hmm. Maybe a crazy man?
-What?
Were you two, uh...
What?
Never mind. Um, honey...
can we talk?
Who came up with
the idea of a deadline?
Ma-- ma-- maybe we, you know,
could do it next week
or a couple of weeks
or the first of the month.
But you've talked about
being in limbo.
Don't you want to move on
with your life as a single guy?
Jen, you know
that's not what I want.
And if there's any chance
that we can work this out,
isn't it worth waiting a moment?
Do you really believe that?
I know I haven't been...
fully present for a while.
But you know,
ever since Taylor was born,
I'm like a ghost in this house.
I certainly fell off your radar.
I just...
[groans] I have three kids who--
We have three kids, Jen.
So where have you been?
You're just
so much better at it than me.
Especially with Taylor.
I could never reach him.
At all.
And I could never reach you.
[hopeful music plays]
I just-- I don't know,
just checked out.
Like, I've had one foot
out the door for months.
But today,
something changed, really.
God, I-- I don't want to
live my life without...
my family, without my kids...
without you.
How do I know you won't have
one foot out of the door
again tomorrow?
I'm right here.
Fully committed.
And you'll let Emma
keep dressing you?
-Yes, I will.
-[both laugh]
Oh, Emma,
you can go to your party.
Really? Yay!
Whoa.
That's a lot of
excitement for a party.
Oh, I'm not going.
I'm just...
happy, you know,
to have the option.
Okay.
[sighs]
[clock chiming]
[intriguing music plays]
Dad?
What are you doing?
Uh, you know, my, uh,
grandfather always said,
"The clock can help you
now and then."
But it was always broken.
I can never figure out
the gears or the movements,
but look at that.
Galileo said that a pendulum
will stay in motion
unless a force acts
to make it stop.
Otherwise, it'll just go forward
and backward
and forward and backward.
Your great-grandfather
would be very proud of you two.
Text from your realtor?
"Your new bachelor pad
is clean and ready."
Uh-oh, no, wait.
I didn't want to do this
in front of the kids,
but so much
for being fully committed.
No, no, no,
this is a miscommunication.
This was supposed
to be a trial separation.
You were going to stay at Dan's.
You said Dan's was gross.
I was trying to find a place
that was comfortable
for the kids.
Yeah, and for
your new girlfriend.
[Eric]
There's no new girlfriend.
[Jen]
Just a lonely bachelor pad.
There's no bachelor pad!
You better hope there is,
because you need somewhere
to stay tonight.
And you know what?
It's lucky for you,
you have a packed suitcase
under your bed!
-No.
-And I saw it!
Jen!
Jen!
Should I do the honors?
Does he look tired to you?
All right.
[static crackling]
[dramatic music plays]
[music crescendos]
[alarm beeping]
[rock music plays]
Oh-oh-oh-oh
[indistinct lyrics]
[vocalizing]
[intriguing music plays]
[Emma] We steal his phone,
that's great!
[British Pop Star]
But we can't be
in three places at once.
Oh, God.
Hey, guys,
what are you talking about?
Nothing to do with you.
Why are you guys
always leaving me out of stuff?
[Max groans]
-[Emma chuckling]
-Ow.
-[amplifier beeps]
-[rock music playing]
[Max vocalizing]
[Emma] If I'm not in my room
or eating breakfast,
he comes down here.
I don't want him
involved with this!
-Involved in what?
-Have a nice trip.
You better come--
[grunts and groans]
How did you know
that was going to happen?
[Emma sighs]
Taylor discovered that Grandpa's
clock can turn back time.
Seriously?
-That's so cool!
-Wait, no, no, no, stop!
[Max groans]
Wow, it really works!
You can't tell
anyone about this.
Please, just, I don't know,
go to school
like it's a normal day.
But I want to help you guys
with whatever you're doing.
Think of us working together.
[Obama's voice]
He turned back the clock.
He's stuck with us now.
[Emma sighs] Fine.
Max, we can't afford
any screw-ups.
This is a very
delicate situation.
Mom and Dad
are going to break up at dinner
if we don't do
everything exactly right.
Wait, what?
[Obama's voice]
Pay attention, Max.
The clock is aging.
It can't take much more.
This day may be our last chance.
Let me help.
They're my mom and dad, too.
It's so obvious
Dad packed this and not Mom.
Ten pairs of underwear
and two shirts?
[man] So both
Max and Emma are sick today?
That sounds so real.
That's even better
than the Obama filter.
Hey, guys.
What are you doing down here?
I'm going to drive Max
to school today,
so you're off the hook.
-To school?
-But we just--
And Taylor, honey,
did you know that,
um, we're having dinner tonight?
[Emma] We already told him.
We're all really
looking forward to it.
It'll be so nice having dinner
together for a change.
-Yeah, it's been a while.
-Oh.
-Oh, shoot! Watch out!
-What?
A-- are you sure
you can afford this?
We made $8,000
day trading this morning.
-Is that like drug dealing?
-No.
We knew which stocks
were going up in the first hour,
so I put all
my babysitting money into them.
Forget Mom and Dad.
Let's go to Vegas.
We can get one of those
high-roller suites
and have a sibling camp out.
[adventurous music playing]
[music intensifies]
[indistinct chatter]
Hi, Mom.
Teacher sent me from school
to get information for a report.
Max, what are you--
[Jen chuckles]
Max, this is Richard,
my student.
What's up, bro?
Cool duds.
Yeah, you can leave now.
-Wait, don't be rude.
-Right.
-Please leave now.
-I'm so sorry.
No, it's cool. It's cool.
I mean,
little bro's on a mission.
-Catch you later?
-Okay.
Tell me about
your first date with Dad.
-How did you get here?
-I gotta get back to school.
-Go. First date.
-Um, okay, so, uh,
your dad had tickets
to a symphony,
and it was classical music,
which I'm not into,
but I thought he was cute,
so I said yes.
Uh, we went there,
and there was this concert hall,
and next to it was
a food truck selling beignets.
-A what?
-Oh, a beignet.
It's like a donut,
but they don't have
a hole in it.
Oh, anyway, so,
you know, your dad was like,
"Oh, they smell so good,
we have to try one."
We were running late,
but I was like,
"Ah, okay, and--"
Oh, God, I'll never forget.
That first bite...
it was so delicious.
And then it started snowing.
[sighs]
It was so crazy, because,
like, it never snows in town.
And it was just so new.
[sobbing]
And so exciting.
And it was just like...
the city, your dad, life.
It was just--
It was packed into
this one magical moment.
Are you okay?
Um, yeah, yeah, sweetie.
I-- I just hope that someday
you can experience that
with someone,
because it really was special.
Is it still in a circle?
-What, sweetie?
-Even without the hole.
A beignet?
No, honey, it's--
it's shaped like a square.
-Wait, what's this project for?
-I-- I have to go.
Wait, Max, how are you
getting back to school?
[dynamic music plays]
[Max] Symphony, snow,
and a beignet truck.
[Emma] A what truck?
Like a donut,
but square in holes.
I have friends
in a school orchestra,
but where do we get
a beignet truck?
I have an idea about snow.
Does he even
care about the fish?
-Oh, I was just taking him--
-Max.
Oh, Nemo?
Oh, no!
I had nothing to do with this,
you did this for her.
No, no, no, no, honey,
this isn't a good idea for me
to be lying to your mother
right now.
[Emma] It's fine. You're fine.
Harry Styles called.
He wanted your apartment
for his L.A. pied--terre,
The good news is,
I checked out another place
that we manage
that you will love.
You can see it right now.
[intense music plays]
-[glass shattering]
-[kids chuckling]
[both grunt]
We gotta go. [indistinct]
[Max]
Really? Not now. This is fun.
This is so much fun,
I don't want this day to end.
Don't say that.
Okay.
[whistle blows]
-Hey!
-[metal crashing]
What the hell?
What did you do to my car?
Bumblebee stole my phone!
[Devan]
The whole place is trashed.
-In position, make the call.
-Good job, Max.
We'll finish everything at home.
You know what to do now.
Devan, call for you on my line.
It's Barack Obama.
What?
[quiet chatter]
-Hello?
-[Obama's voice] Is this Devan?
-Yeah, uh, Mr. President.
-Devan,
I've been trying
to reach you all day.
-Yeah.
-I need a [indistinct], man.
Well, what about Michelle?
[Devan] Okay, well,
are the girls coming?
Yeah, believe me.
Maxman to base.
Mission accomplished.
[Richard] Let's do this!
[Richard grunting]
[Richard laughs viciously]
According to Find-A-Phone,
you stole--
Your Jen's kid.
-It's Emma and Taylor's fault.
-Let's go, Bumblebee.
Oh. Oh, my God.
[classical music playing]
This is amazing.
[indistinct chattering]
[both] Did you?
-I did-- I--
-I did not.
I swear.
Wow.
It was pretty fantastic.
That date.
That whole night.
-Yeah, it was.
-It was.
[both chuckle]
This is unusual.
-Smells good.
-Sure does.
Should we get a beignet?
I think we should.
-We're gonna have two beignets.
-Come on right up.
Dylan.
-All right, here you guys...
-Where's Max?
Hmm. They're just as good
as they were back then.
Back then,
I was too terrified to even eat.
I was afraid you were gonna slap
me when I asked you to kiss me.
I would have kissed you
at any time during that date.
I probably
would have kissed you hello.
-Now you tell me.
-[Jen giggling]
[Jen laughing]
So you didn't do this?
I didn't do this.
It was Max.
Our Max?
He grilled me about
our first date this morning.
-Wait. Wait, it's snowing?
-Snow.
This is fantastic.
[emotional music plays]
I want to stay
with you and the kids.
There's no other home for me.
I want you to stay, too.
All right, Stuart Little.
Judgment day.
-So what happened?
-Find-A-Phone.
-I told you to turn it off.
-[Max] I forgot.
You know this little dude?
Yeah, he's my brother,
unfortunately.
Neither of my parents
are home right now,
so thank you
for bringing him back,
but I'll just take it from here.
What's going on here?
[Emma and Max] Nothing.
-Nothing.
-Doesn't look like nothing.
So maybe your mom
wants to hear about this.
-Let's go.
-[Emma and Max] No, no, no, no.
Let's go, Captain Klepto.
-Tell your mom.
-Oh, uh, Richard.
Wha-- what are you doing here?
Your kid stole my phone.
Max, is that true?
I'm sorry, you-- who are you?
Who's this guy?
-My student.
-I'm a friend.
A friend?
How do you know my wife?
-Okay, let's not do this.
-Let's not.
I just wanted to let Jen know
what a kid was up to.
Eric?
Hey, I thought that was you.
-Hey, hey, how you doing?
-Hey, all right.
Seems to be someone here
has my phone.
-[both] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
-Who's this guy?
Devan Andrew.
I'm Eric's realtor.
Realtor? Really?
And that bachelor pad?
It is ready.
-Wow, are you kidding?
-[Richard] Hey, you know what?
It's all good.
I'm just going to get going.
You want to go with him?
Beignets, anyone?
Nobody wants a beignet.
Could they turn this off?
-[indistinct]
-We've gotta make this right.
Don't turn it back. Come on.
[Eric] No bachelor pad.
[Devan] It's a beautiful pad.
[Eric] Your timing
wasn't exactly great on that.
-You need a lawyer.
-[indistinct]
-No, hold on.
-[overlapping conversation]
[Max whistling]
Quiet!
Mom and Dad, all we've been
trying to do today
is figure out
how to keep you guys together.
And you keep on screwing it up.
Okay, Max, we can talk about
this inside at dinner, but--
No, we do not want
to go to dinner
because that's where
you always announce it.
Look, don't take my word for it.
Taylor's relived the day
38 times.
-Max, that's enough.
-And every time you screw it up,
Taylor has to rewind
Grandpa's old clock.
Taylor?
No, Taylor,
I told you I got this!
-[distorted music plays]
-[whoosh]
[dramatic music plays]
[alarm beeping]
["Doin' It Right" by STS $ RJD2]
Hands up!
Max had some sort of
seizure this morning.
-[Emma sobbing]
-[Max groaning]
I'm looking at it now, Doctor.
Is there nothing we can do?
[Dylan] The best thing to do
is keep him calm.
No surprises
or trauma of any kind.
[Max groaning]
What a hospital are you at?
I think we're gonna need
a second opinion.
This is a real emergency.
Are you kidding?
Nobody believes you.
God, I miss the days we used to
put thermometers on light bulbs.
See what that might entail
I got some slight detail
from your homegirl
You know I knew your
girlfriend back in the day...
Why would thieves only steal
a dining room table?
Why not jewelry?
Okay, so your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you
all in the same place
about something important.
Yes, this is important.
No excuses.
We need everyone at dinner.
Your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you.
That's one million dollars.
And it's yours to keep.
All you have
to do is stay married.
Where did that money come from?
FBI! Nobody move!
Yo get your hands in the air,
you came to party tonight
We gon' get down, hell yeah
You'll have
the time of your life
So your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you.
Well, I thought
they weren't pretty good.
It was weird, though.
It was like they already knew.
[indistinct] Wait. Hey!
Woohoo!
Get back here!
Alright, alright
I get the stage crackin'
Shit, I get major backing
Listen, we need everybody
at dinner tonight.
Amazing news!
I just won a playwriting
contest that includes
a four-year scholarship
to college.
Oh, honey! That's amazing!
-Congratulations.
-Um, there's just one condition.
The parents
of the winning student
have to stay married
for all four years.
That's a very unusual condition
for a scholarship.
I mean,
it's a religious foundation.
I think they just want
to promote marriage, you know?
But it's not a big deal.
You guys are married.
American Foundation
for Theatre and Marriage?
I've never heard of this before.
Oh, sweetie, that seems bogus.
I'm sorry, we'll have to do
-more research.
-No, forget it!
-Wow.
-Weird.
They think
the foundation is bogus.
We just invented
a new foundation, right?
We need to try cancer again.
I know I can nail it this time.
No, look at the clock.
We can't start over anymore.
If we don't do anything,
they're splitting up at dinner.
Yeah, I know.
What do you think, Taylor?
Why don't you say something
for once?
-I'm turning it back.
-Whoa, Max. No, you're not.
-Stop.
-Don't clock block me.
Oh, my God,
not until we try everything.
We have tried everything.
You're gonna waste a day.
-It's over. I'm doing it.
-No, you're not.
[glass shattering]
Oh, God.
[Emma] I guess that
settles that.
-We're stuck with today.
-It's not my fault.
[Emma] Of course it is.
This is why
I don't want you around,
why I always avoid you.
You screw up everything.
Only because you never think
I can do anything.
You can't.
You're a walking catastrophe,
both of you.
Don't pick on him.
She didn't mean it, little bro..
["Break My Fall"
by Altidore & Chance]
Wildfire rollin' in
I'll never get
this chance again
This rumble from
[indistinct]
Rising from the empty ground
Undercover [indistinct]
I'm moving high above it all
You'll never tie me down
I wake up
as I hit the ground
Don't break my fall
I'll lose it all
Your touch enough
To bring me out
[muffled rock music plays]
-[rock music stops]
-I'm not turning it down.
Uh, no, I...
actually want to collaborate.
If you're still talking to me.
I'm sorry.
[indistinct lyrics]
All right.
-Cool.
-Yeah.
All right,
I'll write what we can say,
but the music part,
I'll let you take that over.
Good. Yeah.
Uh, we could say, you know,
that they can't have each other
even though, you know,
they deserve each other.
Oh, Max, this is so good.
It's like when pop songs
have a really good beat,
but then
you listen to the lyrics.
We need the decorations, right?
And we have to get the stage.
-[indistinct]
-Yeah.
Break me out
Don't break my fall
I'll lose it all
Your touch enough
To bring me out
Oh, oh, oh
Just bring me out
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh
[music fades]
Hello.
-Hi, Mom.
-Hey. Take a seat.
Okay.
-Hey.
-[Eric] Hi.
Dad, take a seat.
All right.
This is the story of a couple,
Jen and Derek,
who have everything
except for each other.
By the end of today,
they won't be a couple anymore.
Just can't figure out
how to live together.
[electric guitar riff plays]
[Max singing]
Father and mother
Can't be together
Ready?
Friends, therapists,
students all say
You just can't change today
Today,
just can't change today
No way
-[singing fading]
-[emotional music building]
[muffled]
...not stay together
No matter the day,
no matter the weather
When one moment
might have changed everything.
When one moment might have
made sense of the ring.
[emotional music continues]
Well, that was, uh...
That was...
It was...
What was that? [chuckles]
[footsteps approaching]
M-- Mom?
[sentimental music plays]
Dad?
[music swelling]
[music intensifies]
[music stops]
[alarm beeping]
Sorry.
I thought I was off.
We ought to do these
sibling camp outs more often.
Yeah, once in a while.
We don't want it
to lose its specialness.
Hey, we should probably
return these, right?
[uplifting music plays]
I'll see you at dinner.
Did he suspect anything?
Right, like, uh,
did this clock reset
the same day 86 times
before it exploded?
I don't know. Did he?
Hey, good morning.
What are you guys
doing down here?
Um, we were just, uh,
-helping Taylor clean up.
-Mm-hmm.
Such a bummer about the clock.
It just broke.
Come on, guys, let's go.
Come on, Barack,
I saved you a shotgun.
[Jen] Taylor, come on!
We're late for school.
[Eric] So, about tonight...
[Jen] [indistinct]
[Emma] [indistinct]
[Jen] No, [indistinct].
[rock music plays]
Oh, oh, oh
It's time to go
Oh, oh, oh
It's time to go
[music stops]
[suspenseful music plays]
[mysterious music plays]
[clock ticking]
[sighs]
[Emma] Mom,
he's taking all the chicken!
[Jen] Can you just wait
until everyone's at the table?
[Max] Hey, still going to
camp out tonight?
[Emma] We're too old
for that stuff.
[Max] I know,
I was just kidding.
[Emma] Besides,
I'm going to a party tonight.
We talked about that.
The answer is no.
I'm literally missing
the party of the year
for a family dinner?
Everyone's going to be there.
-Not everyone.
-Shut up, Max!
Oh gosh, please stop
shouting at your brother.
Taylor's having dinner with us?
Something's going down.
So, your dad and I wanted to
talk to the three of you
all in the same place
about something important.
Mm-hmm. It's--
-This is important. [coughs]
-I just said that.
-I understand.
-Yeah, okay.
Okay, so your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you,
because we've decided
that we need to make a change.
No way.
-What are you talking about?
-They're getting divorced.
-No, no, no. It's just--
-It's a trial separation.
I don't want--
You're going on trial?
No, no, no,
we're just going to live apart.
-[Jen] Yeah, we're not.
-I don't wanna go on trial.
-They're not going on trial.
-[Jen] There is no trial.
[overlapping talking]
[Emma] They're getting divorced,
that's what that means.
-For forever, just say it!
-Oh, gosh!
Guys, would you please
just listen to me for a moment.
-[Jen] Taylor--
-[Max] Why are you on trial?
Oh, so you're going to
just get up and leave.
[dialogue rewinds]
[truck beeping in reverse]
[sighs]
[man] I'm waiting!
[indistinct shouting]
[gentle music plays]
[groans] Well, at least
I won't have to
get used to sleeping alone.
I wouldn't go there
if I were you.
[Eric] All right, so...
we're doing it
tonight at dinner.
-[Jen] Where will you stay?
-[Eric] I don't really know.
Dan's got an extra room.
-Oh, his place is disgusting.
-[Eric] Yeah.
I don't suppose
you want to move out.
Don't put it on me.
[Eric] Max!
[upbeat rock music plays]
[Emma] Mom!
He's doing it again!
[Eric] Hey, Max!
You're going to talk to Taylor.
Yeah, and then
you talk to Max and Emma.
-I know, I know.
-[Emma] Mom, he's doing it!
-[Emma] Stop!
-Stop it.
Guys, guys, listen.
This is important.
No excuses,
we need everyone at dinner.
Seriously? Tonight?
-Will we have favorite chicken?
-[Jen] Yeah, sure, sweetie.
No, wait, but Jimmy's having
a party tonight.
It's always
the best party of the year.
Everyone's counting on me
to be there.
You're 16.
What's everyone
counting on you for?
-God, Dad.
-Is Jacob going to be there?
[scoffs] What?
I don't-- I don't know.
Who cares about him?
-He'll definitely be there.
-[doorbell chimes]
Don't you have
a plate to bang on?
Hey, don't hit your brother.
[Emma] Oh, my God. Stop.
-[Max] Hit me again.
-[Eric] That is enough.
[Emma] Thank you.
-[Jen] Oh, no.
-God, Jimmy!
Eric!
-Oh.
-What?
[Eric] Well,
we gave away everything else
my father had in storage.
What are we supposed to do
with a giant,
broken clock that nobody wants?
This is a rare antique, Jen.
-It's kind of creepy.
-Go wait in the car.
Don't you feel like we should be
clearing stuff away right now,
with everything
that we're going through?
Yeah, I'll-- I'll have them
-put it in the basement.
-No.
You know
how Taylor feels about change.
Well, you can tell
Taylor about it
-when you tell him about dinner.
-That was not part of our deal.
-And I'll tell Emma.
-No.
Yeah. Emma!
-Basement's this way.
-Basement.
-You guys got it?
-[man groans]
-[man] Let's get down there.
-[Jen] I'm so sorry.
[man] All right.
Bring it down. Rotate.
Yeah, just
leave it at the bottom
of the stairs, honestly.
[Obama's voice] Hey, Mom.
Oh. Hey, Taylor.
[Obama's voice] They can bring
the clock over here.
[Jen groans]
[mysterious music plays]
What is that?
The clock can help you
now and then,
but only you can change events.
Huh. Hokey.
This is between you
and your dad.
If you want to pull it apart,
or throw it from a cliff,
you can,
but just don't pull that
over on yourself,
it looks pretty heavy.
12-hour repeater.
There's something else
I need to talk to you about.
[Jen sighs]
[Obama's voice] You want me
to be at dinner tonight?
Yeah. How'd you know that?
[Obama's voice]
Now, get the door.
[doorbell chimes]
Huh.
[gentle music plays]
-Hi.
-[courier] Hey.
Another package
-for young Taylor.
-Huh.
Still adding on
to his computer, eh?
-Never ends.
-Don't we have to go?
Oh, yes. You got your bag?
It's on my back.
[Jen exclaims] What was--
Ew, gross!
-[Max] It's on your shoe.
-Disgusting!
[Jen] Oh, God!
["Bad Intentions" by Marius
De La Mer & Indie Elliott]
I got bad intentions for you
Why doesn't Emma
take me anymore?
Oh, honey, she just wants to
drive alone right now.
She never wants to
be with me anymore.
-Is she sick of me?
-She's sick of everyone.
I kind of feel like Taylor got
the best deal of all of us.
-Taylor?
-Yeah.
I mean,
because he has all these issues
that were diagnosed
by professionals,
he gets to sit in the basement
all day playing video games.
Honey, Taylor has
a really hard time.
I mean, can you imagine
not wanting to be touched,
not wanting to go outside?
Today, he was actually
fixing Grandpa's clock.
-That old piece of shit?
-Max!
-Yeah. That old piece of shit.
-[Max chuckles]
Let's turn that bar to four.
We're here together, guys.
-Let's do this, people!
-This is our moment.
We're going to take it.
No negativity.
Let's be positive!
[Richard] What an incredible
session in there.
-[Jen] Oh, thanks.
-[Richard exhales]
Sorry about that brutal class.
I'm clearly working
through some feelings.
Are you kidding me?
I feel like you took me
to a whole new level in there.
-Really?
-[Richard] Yeah. Yeah.
I'm really excited about
tomorrow's private session.
Oh, actually, you need
to get me a signed release.
My studio doesn't want to be
sued by some rich lawyer.
[Richard] I would never sue you,
Jen. Never. [laughs]
I would totally sue
anybody you want me to.
Oh, I mean, I'm sure
that won't be necessary, but--
No, no, no, I'm serious, Jen.
Just think of me
as your legal eagle.
Ready to dive in and eviscerate
anybody in a moment's notice.
-Really?
-[car crashes]
What the hell?
-What did you do to my car?
-You didn't see him?
-See what?
-The kid.
He ran into the middle
of the street.
-I barely missed him!
-Taylor?
[Richard] Do you have insurance?
[mysterious music plays]
Taylor?
Taylor?
-[door clicks]
-[footsteps approaching]
Oh.
Taylor, did you just--
Did you leave the house, honey?
Oh, wow,
you fixed Grandpa's clock?
Wait, is that the time?
Okay, I'm late
for an appointment.
I've got to go.
If you want to go out the house,
just don't do it alone, okay?
I love you.
[Obama's voice] I love you, too.
[door clicks]
[Jen sighs]
Have you noticed anything
unusual about Taylor lately?
I saw him this morning.
Dropped a package off to him.
Really?
Yeah, Jennifer.
Is that so surprising to you?
[Jen] No, no, I didn't mean
that. I went to the basement.
He's my son, too,
so sometimes I--
I just felt like
I was wondering, because
-when I went down to the--
-[indistinct] with him.
Hello.
Let's save some of that
for our space,
-shall we?
-Okay.
[shushing] [indistinct]
[chuckles] Yes.
So, um--
so, it's happening tonight.
Mm.
Oh, yes.
As we talked about last week.
So, hashtag splitting up.
How are you going to communicate
this to the three of them?
Their family dynamic...
-is about to change.
-[Jen] Well, we don't know.
That's-- that's why
we're here, seeing you.
[therapist] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Is that what you would
like to talk about?
-Yeah.
-[therapist] Mm-hmm.
That's-- that's why we're here.
Great. Eric?
Yes?
Would you like
to contribute to this?
Sure, I'm just tired...
-[therapist] Mm-hmm.
-...of it all.
The distrust, the...
disinterest...
-the dislike.
-Mm.
If we're going to be single,
maybe it's best
just to get this over with.
-[therapist] Okay.
-Better for everyone.
I hear you, brother. I hear you.
-So, here's what we'll do. Okay?
-Okay.
We will approach
how you would like
this conversation
with your children...
[whistles]
...unspooling.
Oh, we don't know
how to unspool it.
That's why we're here.
That's why we're talking to you.
Right, uh--
I'm sensing a little bit of
anger from you, Jen,
if I'm going to be
honest with you.
And I think that you should get
your vitamin D tested.
You could schedule
a test from Quest.
-Right at your home.
-So, I'm not angry, actually.
And there's nothing wrong
-with my vitamin D.
-Mm...
Can I just say
you're diminishing my feelings
by putting them all
down to a physical ailment.
I have a teenage daughter
who hates me half the time.
I've got a son who doesn't.
He doesn't want to be touched.
I'm splitting up
-from my husband.
-Mm-hmm.
And you know
what the worst part is?
We're paying you
to water your plants.
Technically, Jen,
not to correct you,
but they are not plants.
[chuckles]
You know, they--
they are flowering plants.
But they're not flowers
or plants.
It's important
we use the right terminology.
[water spraying]
[Jen] His obsession
with flowers really bugs me.
Jennifer, I believe
it's a flowering plant
obsession.
And have you noticed
he starts spritzing
every time he talks about anger?
Yes! My gosh.
-Who-- who recommended him?
-[Jen laughs]
They're in your bag.
-Oh!
-[keys jangling]
Hey, I got a little break.
I don't suppose you want to, um,
I don't know, go back to the...
house, you know?
Take a nap or whatever?
[laughs] Are you serious?
We're still married.
In some countries,
you'd have to.
Eric.
[cell phone dings]
[diner din]
[Richard sighs] Hey.
I thought this was your office.
It is. Sometimes.
Please, sit down.
[sighs] And here you go.
You could have scanned this.
Oh, this is
a lot more fun, right?
-[Jen chuckles]
-Uh, I have to confirm.
There's no nuts
in any of this, right?
-None.
-All right. Let's do this.
This is
the best tamponade in town.
I can't think of anybody else
I'd rather
share it with than you.
You're going to love it.
Jen, this might be
a little out of line, but...
I care for you.
While I might not know too much
about your personal life,
I can see
that you're not happy right now.
Come on, please.
Tell me how I can help.
Are you okay?
No. [laughs]
How can I be okay
when you're unhappy?
Something's happening.
[clears throat]
You feel it, too? [gasps]
It's true.
I've had a connection with you
ever since I met you.
No, something
is happening to your face.
Your face is all puffy and red.
-I'll call 911.
-[wheezes] No.
[wheezing]
EpiPen. EpiPen. My car.
-EpiPen.
-[Richard wheezes] Oh, God.
-[Jen] Richard, are you okay?
-[Richard coughing]
-Where is it?
-[Richard wheezing]
-Okay. Get in the car.
-[whimpers] My window!
-Speak to me!
-Compartment. [gasps]
Oh! Found it. It's okay.
Everything's under control.
[Jen whoops] Okay.
[wheezing] Let's do this.
Oh, God.
[raspy breathing]
[Richard and Jen scream out]
-[Jen] Oh, God.
-[Richard gasping for air]
Why do I feel like we should
be smoking cigarettes?
[both chuckling]
Please.
Come for the man
whose life you just saved.
I-- I can't believe
they gave you peanuts
after everything that you said.
It's not peanuts.
It's tree nuts.
Like almonds.
[mysterious music plays]
What is it?
I'm sorry.
-Everything okay?
-Oh.
Hey, Emma. How are you?
Yeah. I'm so sorry.
I just lost track of time.
Wait. What? He's what?
-When did you last see him?
-[Richard] Till tomorrow.
That went good.
[intense music plays]
-Taylor?
-[Emma] Mom? Mom, Taylor left.
[Max] I didn't know
where you were.
-[Jen] Is he back?
-[Max] No, he left the house.
He never leaves the house.
He's not here.
-Hey, Taylor?
-[indistinct] the basement.
Oh! Oh, my God, Taylor.
What a relief.
Mom, what's your problem?
He doesn't like to be touched.
I know, honey.
Don't ever go out
of the house alone.
Do you understand?
What were you doing?
[Emma] What is your problem?
Taylor, where were you?
Were you
at the restaurant right now?
-What restaurant?
-[Emma] Psycho much?
Chill, Mom. He's fine.
[Max] At least we're having
favorite chicken
for dinner tonight.
[Jen sighs]
[door creaks, clicks]
[Jen sighs]
Oh.
-Thank you for saving the day.
-Well.
Just do what I'm told.
You know, for months,
I've been just so confident
that we're doing
the right thing and then...
today I'm like... [sniffles]
...what are we doing?
Jen.
Come on, we--
Listen.
We-- we-- we can wait, okay?
We don't have to
tell them tonight.
All right?
[exhales] Thank you.
Happy to see me?
What? Why?
You have a bulge in your pocket.
-Really?
-Just right there.
-[laughs] I felt it.
-Oh. Yes.
Student had
an allergic reaction,
so I had to
give him an injection.
-You?
-Uh-huh.
-You did this? You hate needles.
-Right?
-I had to give him an injection.
-Oh, my gosh.
Was there nobody
at the studio to do this?
You must have freaked.
Oh, we were at a restaurant.
I guess somebody, um--
somebody gave him almonds.
Restaurant?
Who-- who-- who-- who's the guy?
Uh, Richard. Richard.
-Who?
-Um, he's a-- Yeah.
He's a-- a young guy
that just joined my class.
Huh?
But, you know, nothing happened.
I mean, we held hands and--
Well, that's it, so...
-Congratulations.
-[EpiPen clattering]
Wait, wha--
I can't hold hands with somebody
when you're moving out?
I knew it'd be a student.
[somber music playing]
[muffled talking]
[Emma] I'm literally missing
the party of the year
for a family dinner?
-Everyone's going to be there.
-[Max] Not everyone.
[Emma] Shut up, Max.
Guys, everybody
stop fighting, please.
[Max] Taylor's having
dinner with us?
[sighs]
So, your dad and I, um...
We wanted to talk
to the three of you,
all in the same place, um,
about something
really important.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is important.
-[Jen] I already said that.
-[Eric] I know you did.
Okay. So, anyway, you're--
Taylor, um-- Tay--
I haven't even--
Hey, we're not done talking
here.
[Jen] Taylor, sweetie!
Taylor!
[dialogue rewinding]
[truck beeping in reverse]
-[sighs]
-[phone buzzes]
[hopeful music plays]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[upbeat rock music
plays on guitar]
Max!
Hey!
Mom, he's doing it again!
-[tapping]
-Hey!
Max, stop.
-[indistinct talking]
-Stop. Mom!
Mom, he's doing it again.
-Make him stop.
-[Eric] Hey, listen up.
This is important.
We need everyone at dinner.
-Seriously?
-[Eric] Mm-hmm.
Tonight?
[Eric] Okay. All right, honey.
I'm going to dispense
with all the formalities
and just bribe you.
What will it take
to get you at dinner, huh?
[Emma]
Why are you doing this to me?
Uh, it's not--
It's just tonight, honey, okay?
Tomorrow night,
you can go out with Jacob.
Till 10:30 at night.
11:30?
I told you, I don't even
want to go out with him.
It doesn't have to be Jacob.
It could be any
of the Old Testament prophets.
I'll-- I'll pay
for non-alcoholic beverages
and G-rated movies and...
abstinence pamphlets.
[Emma sighs]
Thank you.
-Whatever.
-I mean it.
Not just for this,
for everything, I--
[sighs]
We never have to
worry about you.
You've never been able
to worry about me.
There's a difference.
[car door slams]
Um...
I have to
tell you something, Jacob.
I can't go
to Jamie's party anymore.
-My parents need me at dinner.
-Uh--
Emma! [scoffs]
I bought these.
An entire box. Very optimistic.
Let's just do it at my place.
Right now.
You have
a death metal bedspread.
And little planes
hanging above your bed.
Okay,
they're Jedi Starfighters.
Oh, my God.
This is why
you're still a virgin.
Guess I lucked out then.
[somber music plays]
[muffled talking]
Say, good sir.
Why do you start and things
that do sound so fair.
All hail Macbeth.
Hail to the king--
What's this about
you not going to Jamie's party?
[groans] My parents.
They want me at some dinner.
Hey, uh-- Good stuff...
witches.
And on stage,
he's so good at killing people.
-[Emma exhales]
-[Jacob] Hey.
Eva, can I talk to you
for a second?
Sure.
Oh, whatever.
After all,
he already bought an entire box.
[sighs]
-Hey.
-[Emma sniffles]
You okay?
[chuckles] Yeah.
You know,
life's but a walking shadow.
You're doing really well,
by the way.
Yeah, the-- the scene.
Thanks.
So are you.
And I'm not just saying that
because my character would.
All hail!
[both chuckle]
You know,
they're, um-- they're showing
Denzel's version
at the university.
Um, I thought it'd be fun
to see, you know,
his interpretation
of the Scottish play.
I thought that maybe we could
do that or something else,
-or just, you know, that--
-Are you...
-asking me to the movie?
-No.
Maybe. Yes, yeah. I-- Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah? Oh-- Great.
Uh, okay, um--
Well, so, yeah,
it's-- it's tonight.
-So, we cou--
-[Emma sighs]
I can't.
Why is everything
happening tonight?
Emma. Emma, your--
Your mother called the office.
There's been
some kind of family emergency.
Oh, my God.
Cool. Cool, cool.
-Cool, cool, cool, cool.
-[door clicks]
[tense music plays]
Mom?
Mom? Dad?
Taylor, is Mom here?
You promised Mom you wouldn't
use her voice anymore.
[British male voice]
Hello, Emma.
I'm speaking to you
as a British pop star,
so you'll pay closer attention.
[Emma] I can't believe this.
I thought
there was an emergency.
[British male voice]
There is an emergency.
At dinner,
Mom and Dad will separate.
I need your help
to keep them together.
That's what this dinner's about?
I mean, I knew
they were having problems,
but Mom said
they were working them out.
How do you know this?
[British male voice]
The clock can turn back time.
Up to 12 hours.
[laughs] What? Come on.
[British male voice]
I found out when I fixed it
the first day it came.
That's today.
It came this morning.
[British male voice] This is
the 23rd version of today.
Which is how I know that
Mom and Dad are splitting up
at the end of it.
And how I know the next words
you're going to say.
This is stupid.
Yeah, of course you knew that.
This is stupid.
Um, how about this?
Blueberry buttercup
fatty pickles.
[dramatic music plays]
[British male voice] I think
I know how to stop Mom,
but I need your help with Dad.
They're making a big mistake.
How do you know it's a mistake?
I mean, better now than later.
Spoiler alert. Love sucks.
It never lasts.
[British male voice]
Jacob's a wanker.
Mom and Dad are different.
[tense music plays]
[Taylor panting]
-[Taylor vomits]
-Oh, God!
You're done barfing, right?
'Cause I just cleaned my car.
Yeah? Oh-- [groans]
[Emma sighs]
We're off to a flying start.
[British male voice]
Pull over. Here.
Sorry we haven't spent
much time together lately.
We don't really
talk much anymore, do we?
I know we're
not supposed to talk about
the not talking, but...
You can talk, right?
You just don't want to?
Look...
I don't blame you.
Most of what people say
is really stupid.
I just wonder if...
Taylor, where are you going?
Taylor, what are you doing?
[breathing heavily] Oh, my God.
[man] Goddamn.
What did you do to my car?
You didn't see him?
-See what?
-The kid!
Dude, what the hell
just happened?
The car almost hit you.
You almost got killed.
Oh, my God.
If Mom and Dad knew
what you were doing
right now, you'd be so grounded.
[British male voice]
I love being grounded.
But that was the easy part.
Now is where I need your help.
[Emma sighs] Look at him.
No wonder they're in trouble.
Mom's beautiful,
and he's a mess.
It's like
he's not even trying anymore.
And he's smoking again?
He's such a loser.
How is that our dad?
[British male voice]
It's all we have to work with.
Yeah, I know.
[indistinct chatter]
I have an idea,
but we need money.
Taylor, is that real?
[gasps] How did you get it?
[British male voice]
The stock market.
Is that totally ethical?
It's for a good cause, right?
Okay, so you're gonna
say to him,
"It's a promotion,
and we're giving free haircuts
to everyone in the office,
and it's your turn."
I don't like lying.
How short do you want it?
[upbeat music plays]
[British male voice]
We have 60 seconds.
Is this absolutely necessary?
No. Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Um...
[yelps and screams]
[indistinct chatter]
She noticed
his haircut, at least.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, they're going
somewhere together.
Like, this is great.
[British male voice]
I've never gotten them this
far.
This is huge.
They went home together.
We actually did it.
[British male voice]
We'll see at dinner.
I know...
I acted like I didn't care
when you first told me.
I guess...
I guess it's just easier
to act like you literally
don't care, right?
Because you don't have
any control of these things
that are happening to you.
The truth is, I can't imagine
Mom and Dad apart.
Oh, crap.
Mom's leaving by herself.
La Marmotte?
What were you doing
in the kitchen?
And who's that weird guy
with Mom?
I'm not breaking
into anyone's car.
I'm not doing it.
[British male voice]
I'm not strong enough.
Please. I'll explain later.
Get back.
That's an EpiPen.
It could save someone's life.
[Jen] Oh, my God.
You're not even breathing.
Where's the EpiPen?
[Richard coughing and choking]
Oh, God. Not my window.
Right there.
Oh, God. I found it.
Okay. [yelps]
Okay.
I'm putting it there!
I'm putting it there!
[Richard] Let's do it.
What?
Killing Mom's new boyfriend
isn't going to solve anything.
She needs a shock,
but not that kind of a shock.
[Jen] Oh, thank God.
She needs a vision.
Don't forget to stop
at the Mini-Mart
and buy favorite chicken
for dinner tonight.
[Jen] Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I'm on my way.
-[Richard] Till tomorrow!
-Who's that?
[Jen] Uh, just some crazy man
yelling at me from the street.
-Bye.
-[line beeping]
[British male voice]
It's Showtime.
Hey, Siri. Call Dylan.
[line ringing]
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow,
and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace
day to day,
To the last syllable
of recorded time;
Out, out, brief candle!
It is a tale told by an idiot
Filled with sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
"My spouse has died,
but yours still lives.
A chance to change your fate
and fate to you alone gives.
See the light
and change your way.
Change your way...
and change today."
It was really okay?
Oh, my God.
It was so much better than okay.
You totally blew her mind.
Okay. And-- and what was
that part at the end?
Uh, that wasn't in the play.
I wrote it to fit the occasion.
Wow, you're really good.
[chuckles] Thank you.
Um...
thank you again so much
for doing this.
-I--
-Yeah.
-Um...
-Uh...
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Tomorrow.
[whispering] Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow,
and tomorr--
-[car horn honks]
-[man] Hey, MacBeth!
Move it!
-[Emma] Hey, Mom.
-Oh, hey, kids.
-How was your day?
-Huh, weird.
Oh, yeah. I guess so.
No, I'm sorry.
I forgot about that.
I just, uh, saw it lying
by the side of the street.
I thought
that could stab somebody.
-Who would leave it there?
-Hmm.
-Maybe a crazy man?
-Hey, everybody.
Oh, oh, hey, hon.
-Can we talk?
-Yeah.
Looks good, right?
Your father and I wanted to
talk to the three of you
all in the same place
about something important.
But we're not gonna
do that tonight.
Instead, we're just gonna have
a nice family dinner, all right?
-[Jen] Right.
-[Eric] Dig in.
I'm gonna have this.
Now, thank you very much.
Are you-- are you kidding me?
-[Eric mumbles]
-Dylan Barlow.
I knew it. I knew his face.
I couldn't remember his name.
He's your friend, right?
No. Yes.
How do you know Dylan?
Well, his mom takes
my Wednesday morning class,
and he just followed me around
a supermarket...
-doing Shakespeare quotes.
-Huh?
That's really weird.
Why would he do that?
Yeah, that's what I'm
gonna find out, actually.
What are you doing?
I'm just gonna text his mom.
No, stop.
It was my idea.
I...
thought that it would change
your plans, and...
it did, right?
[laughs] My plans?
With Dad.
To get divorced.
-What?
-[Jen] Hey-- wait, no.
No, that's--
that's not what's happening.
-Have you been spying on us?
-Emma!
-Yeah, but I--
-[Jen] There is no but.
We do not snoop in this house.
We just don't.
We face each other
from a place of honesty.
Oh, yeah?
Is that what you told
the weird guy you met for drinks
before you went to his car
and pulled down his pants?
-Emma!
-Emma.
What are you--
What is she talking about?
Oh, a new private.
We met at a restaurant.
He had an allergic reaction.
It was nothing, but I had to
give him an injection.
-You hate needles.
-Mm-hmm.
Congratulations.
Mom and I
are separating, everybody.
-[Jen scoffs]
-I knew it would be a student.
Sweetie! No.
No. E-- Emma!
[both parents] Emma!
W-- wait. What's happening?
-Emma!
-[Jen] Just wait, sweetie.
Guys.
Fuck. Piece of shit.
Listen, we didn't mean
to spring it on you like that.
You know--
[dramatic music plays]
[music crescendos]
[truck beeping]
[groans]
[groans] Well,
At least I won't have to
get used to sleeping alone.
I wouldn't go there
if I were you.
So...
we're doing it tonight.
Where will you stay?
I-- I don't really know.
Da-- Dan has an extra room.
Dan? His place is disgusting.
I don't suppose
you want to move out?
Don't put it on me.
[rock music plays]
Max!
-[Max vocalizing]
-Max!
Hey! Max!
What do you want?
I'm rocking out.
Well, rock out in your own room.
With your own headphones.
Nobody wants to hear this.
-That's not true.
-And leave your sister alone.
Why are you--
why are you always annoying her?
See this space? Stay away.
So you're gonna
tell Taylor about dinner.
Then you're gonna
talk to Max and Emma.
Yes, yes.
Guys, Mom and I need
everyone at...
-[doorbell rings]
-...dinner.
It looks a lot worse
than when we put it in storage.
What does it matter?
It doesn't work.
It's kind of creepy.
It's got
these scuff marks all over it.
Got a scratch up here.
Looks like
the minute hand's missing.
You guys didn't drop it,
did you?
-Not yet.
-Take it down to the basement.
Taylor and I think
we can fix it.
Taylor? Are you...
[clock ticking]
[chuckles] Wow.
That's incredible.
[Obama's voice] Don't touch it.
It's very fragile.
Oh, right.
Of course.
Uh, amazing.
Uh, there's a package here
for President Obama himself.
Wow.
Well, that is amazing.
[Obama's voice]
Why are you moving out tonight?
Taylor?
Were you listening
in on our conversation?
Because you know,
we've talked to you
about listening before, and--
Well, that is amazing.
[Obama's voice] Promise me
that you'll never leave us.
[sobbing]
Oh, God.
I love you and your sister,
your brother so much.
I never wanted--
Well, that is amazing.
[Obama's voice] Are things
okay between you and Mom?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
No matter what happens...
I love you and your brother
and sister very much.
Fist bump?
All right.
I'll see you a little later,
all right?
Oh.
I forgot my coat.
Hey, Eric.
[Eric] Charlie.
[Charlie] Do you have
a plastic bag?
-No.
-[Charlie] Yeah, okay.
Never mind.
[phone rings]
Hey, Devan. What's up?
[Devan] I'm sorry, Mr. D.,
but I got some not-so-great
news
about your apartment.
Apparently, Harry Styles called
and wanted your apartment
for his LA pied--terre,
offered a bunch of cash,
and they gave it to him.
-Not cool.
-What-- what are--
-What are you talking about?
-And I get it.
I mean, I'm totally a Styler,
but also not cool.
No, no, no. Devan?
But the good news is
I checked out another place
that we manage
that you will love.
I can show it to you
this afternoon.
-It's great.
-Okay.
-Well, then, let's go--
-[line beeps]
Don't have misgivings.
This is part of the process.
-Here.
-Oh, thanks, Bill.
How's Devan? Is he helping?
Uh, yeah.
-He's a-- he's a real go-getter.
-Yeah.
I don't know what
I would've done without him
in my divorces.
Gotta have a bachelor pad.
Wait till you start putting it
to good use, right?
[clicks tongue]
How's Justin handling it?
Who?
Justin. Your son.
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, he's great.
I think
our relationship's probably...
it's as good as it's
ever gonna be, you know?
-Uh-huh.
-[Bill laughs]
-Uh, I'm gonna go get a latte.
-Yeah.
Grab me one, too.
-Hey, Dad.
-Oh, God.
Oh. [chuckles nervously]
This is for a friend.
Terrible habit.
I should-- he should quit.
-Yeah.
-Why aren't you at school?
They canceled it.
You expect me to believe that?
I believe you were holding
that cigarette for a friend.
Fair enough.
What can I do for you?
Well, I have these gift cards
from your last birthday
that you haven't used.
-These?
-Yeah.
They're brand-new.
Unlike your smoking habit,
which I'm willing
to keep a secret.
If what?
If you let me
give you a makeover.
What? Me? No.
Uh, what are you talking about?
-Dad.
-Honey,
I really do appreciate
the thought
and the general weirdness
of your sudden appearance here,
-but--
-Trust me.
You need one.
Desperately.
Are you sure, honey?
Yes, I'm sure.
You look amazing, Dad.
I don't feel
like myself, honestly.
Please you just have to
be confident.
But when you see Mom, please
tell her this was your idea.
-Okay.
-Okay?
I had nothing to do with it.
You did it for her.
No, no, no, no.
Honey, this isn't
a good idea for me
to be lying to
your mother right now.
No, you'll be fine. It's fine.
Ooh, what happened to you?
-You like it?
-Uh-huh.
Just decided to change my look.
In time for being single?
No, I did it all for you.
Well, I don't believe that.
Emma told me to say that.
She showed up at my work,
and she gave me a makeover.
-Emma?
-Yeah.
But wasn't she at school?
She said it was canceled.
-That's weird.
-Yeah.
Tip of the iceberg.
Weirdest day
I've ever experienced.
Well, maybe
it's just because you know
-what's happening tonight.
-Yeah.
Hey. Hello.
What is the deal
with the Diehls?
[laughs maniacally]
I-- I don't know.
Let's find out.
Let's find out together.
Come on in.
-How are you?
-Good.
How are you? Thank you.
I'm great.
This is-- this is great.
-[Jen] So, um...
-[Dr. Polhemus clears throat]
Sorry, family emergency.
So this is happening tonight.
Mmm. Mm-hmm. I hear that.
But what if--
what if it doesn't?
What do we have to do together
to keep you two from uncoupling?
I thought we were telling
the kids tonight at dinner,
and that's what
we've spoken about.
It feels a little soon.
Let's not rush into things.
I'm-- I'm sorry, did--
did something change?
Because last week, you were...
Last week was so last week,
am I right? [laughs]
I say so many things, you know.
Words just come out of my mouth.
Ju-- just trying things.
But this week,
I'm getting this vibe, right?
That you two
are just great people.
Great people who can either,
hey, stay together
or make the same mistakes
with less great people.
I don't know,
just spitballing here.
Why don't we just stay together,
you guys?
Are you serious?
I'm detecting a little bit
of anger in that voice.
Well, you just turned around
after months of discussion
-and-- and changed your mind.
-True.
I don't even know
what I'm doing.
There's nothing there.
There's nothing there. [sobs]
[whispering]
There's nothing there.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm keeping you two
from burning it all down.
-What are you doing?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Putting out the fire.
Cooling you off.
Cool off. [laughs]
How about a candy,
you guys, huh?
Let's sweeten the deal
for the Diehls.
Oh!
You just have a great last name.
I don't like my last name,
but we can't pick
our Danish stepfathers.
[in Danish accent] Nothing was
ever good enough for him.
[laughs maniacally] I'm okay.
What about when
he spritzed us with the water?
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with this guy?
-That's so unprofessional.
-Who-- who recommended him?
Bill. Bill from your work.
[laughs]
You're right.
-It wa-- it was.
-100%.
And by the way, you have lost,
like, ten years.
This haircut is so cute.
Oh.
Does that mean
we're touching each other again?
If so, maybe we go back
to the house,
take a nap.
Are you serious?
Well, we're still married.
[hopeful music plays]
Some countries you'd have to.
[laughs] Eric. Eric.
[both moaning and panting]
Turns out all we needed to do
to have a good nap was split up.
No wonder
half the country's divorced.
[groans] Right.
Why did we stop trying?
I don't know.
It's just easier, right?
Just give in to it.
Entropy.
You ever
think there's a way back?
What?
[groans] You ever think there--
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
Nothing.
-[Jen chuckles]
-[Eric grunts]
[groans] Yeah.
Are you all right?
Yeah. Fine.
Ugh.
I got to make a work call.
I got a new private.
Mmm. Lucky guy.
How do you know it's a guy?
Lucky guess.
I'll leave you in private,
so you make your call
to your private.
What?
[Eric] Ooh.
Now, as you can see,
everything is up-to-the-minute,
cutting-edge, state-of-the-art.
Everything that
the modern, hot, single man,
especially with this look,
could ask for.
Yeah, okay, and I want to be
clear about this.
This place
is available immediately.
Oh, yeah, it's all yours.
No worries.
And wait till
the new hookups see this place.
I'm talking muy enthusiastic
consent, hombre.
-Okay.
-Okay?
And most of
the residents are single,
so you don't have to
deal with any annoying kids.
All right, right this way.
[door panel beeps]
-All right. Here we go.
-[door creaks open]
And you are going to
love this place.
-Okay?
-[door beeping]
[synthetic voice] Wrong number--
Oh, the gate's
a little malfunctioning.
Okay, hold on, let's do
a [indistinct]. [laughs]
Here we go.
Welcome
to your new bachelor pa--
Oh, my Lord!
Yeah, it was perfect
this morning!
You know, I-- I-- I'm sorry,
Mr. Diehl.
We'll get this fixed up
and have it good as new.
[continues inaudibly]
What am I doing?
[Jen] Oh, God,
I forgot about that, yeah.
Who would put it there?
-Hmm. Maybe a crazy man?
-What?
Were you two, uh...
What?
Never mind. Um, honey...
can we talk?
Who came up with
the idea of a deadline?
Ma-- ma-- maybe we, you know,
could do it next week
or a couple of weeks
or the first of the month.
But you've talked about
being in limbo.
Don't you want to move on
with your life as a single guy?
Jen, you know
that's not what I want.
And if there's any chance
that we can work this out,
isn't it worth waiting a moment?
Do you really believe that?
I know I haven't been...
fully present for a while.
But you know,
ever since Taylor was born,
I'm like a ghost in this house.
I certainly fell off your radar.
I just...
[groans] I have three kids who--
We have three kids, Jen.
So where have you been?
You're just
so much better at it than me.
Especially with Taylor.
I could never reach him.
At all.
And I could never reach you.
[hopeful music plays]
I just-- I don't know,
just checked out.
Like, I've had one foot
out the door for months.
But today,
something changed, really.
God, I-- I don't want to
live my life without...
my family, without my kids...
without you.
How do I know you won't have
one foot out of the door
again tomorrow?
I'm right here.
Fully committed.
And you'll let Emma
keep dressing you?
-Yes, I will.
-[both laugh]
Oh, Emma,
you can go to your party.
Really? Yay!
Whoa.
That's a lot of
excitement for a party.
Oh, I'm not going.
I'm just...
happy, you know,
to have the option.
Okay.
[sighs]
[clock chiming]
[intriguing music plays]
Dad?
What are you doing?
Uh, you know, my, uh,
grandfather always said,
"The clock can help you
now and then."
But it was always broken.
I can never figure out
the gears or the movements,
but look at that.
Galileo said that a pendulum
will stay in motion
unless a force acts
to make it stop.
Otherwise, it'll just go forward
and backward
and forward and backward.
Your great-grandfather
would be very proud of you two.
Text from your realtor?
"Your new bachelor pad
is clean and ready."
Uh-oh, no, wait.
I didn't want to do this
in front of the kids,
but so much
for being fully committed.
No, no, no,
this is a miscommunication.
This was supposed
to be a trial separation.
You were going to stay at Dan's.
You said Dan's was gross.
I was trying to find a place
that was comfortable
for the kids.
Yeah, and for
your new girlfriend.
[Eric]
There's no new girlfriend.
[Jen]
Just a lonely bachelor pad.
There's no bachelor pad!
You better hope there is,
because you need somewhere
to stay tonight.
And you know what?
It's lucky for you,
you have a packed suitcase
under your bed!
-No.
-And I saw it!
Jen!
Jen!
Should I do the honors?
Does he look tired to you?
All right.
[static crackling]
[dramatic music plays]
[music crescendos]
[alarm beeping]
[rock music plays]
Oh-oh-oh-oh
[indistinct lyrics]
[vocalizing]
[intriguing music plays]
[Emma] We steal his phone,
that's great!
[British Pop Star]
But we can't be
in three places at once.
Oh, God.
Hey, guys,
what are you talking about?
Nothing to do with you.
Why are you guys
always leaving me out of stuff?
[Max groans]
-[Emma chuckling]
-Ow.
-[amplifier beeps]
-[rock music playing]
[Max vocalizing]
[Emma] If I'm not in my room
or eating breakfast,
he comes down here.
I don't want him
involved with this!
-Involved in what?
-Have a nice trip.
You better come--
[grunts and groans]
How did you know
that was going to happen?
[Emma sighs]
Taylor discovered that Grandpa's
clock can turn back time.
Seriously?
-That's so cool!
-Wait, no, no, no, stop!
[Max groans]
Wow, it really works!
You can't tell
anyone about this.
Please, just, I don't know,
go to school
like it's a normal day.
But I want to help you guys
with whatever you're doing.
Think of us working together.
[Obama's voice]
He turned back the clock.
He's stuck with us now.
[Emma sighs] Fine.
Max, we can't afford
any screw-ups.
This is a very
delicate situation.
Mom and Dad
are going to break up at dinner
if we don't do
everything exactly right.
Wait, what?
[Obama's voice]
Pay attention, Max.
The clock is aging.
It can't take much more.
This day may be our last chance.
Let me help.
They're my mom and dad, too.
It's so obvious
Dad packed this and not Mom.
Ten pairs of underwear
and two shirts?
[man] So both
Max and Emma are sick today?
That sounds so real.
That's even better
than the Obama filter.
Hey, guys.
What are you doing down here?
I'm going to drive Max
to school today,
so you're off the hook.
-To school?
-But we just--
And Taylor, honey,
did you know that,
um, we're having dinner tonight?
[Emma] We already told him.
We're all really
looking forward to it.
It'll be so nice having dinner
together for a change.
-Yeah, it's been a while.
-Oh.
-Oh, shoot! Watch out!
-What?
A-- are you sure
you can afford this?
We made $8,000
day trading this morning.
-Is that like drug dealing?
-No.
We knew which stocks
were going up in the first hour,
so I put all
my babysitting money into them.
Forget Mom and Dad.
Let's go to Vegas.
We can get one of those
high-roller suites
and have a sibling camp out.
[adventurous music playing]
[music intensifies]
[indistinct chatter]
Hi, Mom.
Teacher sent me from school
to get information for a report.
Max, what are you--
[Jen chuckles]
Max, this is Richard,
my student.
What's up, bro?
Cool duds.
Yeah, you can leave now.
-Wait, don't be rude.
-Right.
-Please leave now.
-I'm so sorry.
No, it's cool. It's cool.
I mean,
little bro's on a mission.
-Catch you later?
-Okay.
Tell me about
your first date with Dad.
-How did you get here?
-I gotta get back to school.
-Go. First date.
-Um, okay, so, uh,
your dad had tickets
to a symphony,
and it was classical music,
which I'm not into,
but I thought he was cute,
so I said yes.
Uh, we went there,
and there was this concert hall,
and next to it was
a food truck selling beignets.
-A what?
-Oh, a beignet.
It's like a donut,
but they don't have
a hole in it.
Oh, anyway, so,
you know, your dad was like,
"Oh, they smell so good,
we have to try one."
We were running late,
but I was like,
"Ah, okay, and--"
Oh, God, I'll never forget.
That first bite...
it was so delicious.
And then it started snowing.
[sighs]
It was so crazy, because,
like, it never snows in town.
And it was just so new.
[sobbing]
And so exciting.
And it was just like...
the city, your dad, life.
It was just--
It was packed into
this one magical moment.
Are you okay?
Um, yeah, yeah, sweetie.
I-- I just hope that someday
you can experience that
with someone,
because it really was special.
Is it still in a circle?
-What, sweetie?
-Even without the hole.
A beignet?
No, honey, it's--
it's shaped like a square.
-Wait, what's this project for?
-I-- I have to go.
Wait, Max, how are you
getting back to school?
[dynamic music plays]
[Max] Symphony, snow,
and a beignet truck.
[Emma] A what truck?
Like a donut,
but square in holes.
I have friends
in a school orchestra,
but where do we get
a beignet truck?
I have an idea about snow.
Does he even
care about the fish?
-Oh, I was just taking him--
-Max.
Oh, Nemo?
Oh, no!
I had nothing to do with this,
you did this for her.
No, no, no, no, honey,
this isn't a good idea for me
to be lying to your mother
right now.
[Emma] It's fine. You're fine.
Harry Styles called.
He wanted your apartment
for his L.A. pied--terre,
The good news is,
I checked out another place
that we manage
that you will love.
You can see it right now.
[intense music plays]
-[glass shattering]
-[kids chuckling]
[both grunt]
We gotta go. [indistinct]
[Max]
Really? Not now. This is fun.
This is so much fun,
I don't want this day to end.
Don't say that.
Okay.
[whistle blows]
-Hey!
-[metal crashing]
What the hell?
What did you do to my car?
Bumblebee stole my phone!
[Devan]
The whole place is trashed.
-In position, make the call.
-Good job, Max.
We'll finish everything at home.
You know what to do now.
Devan, call for you on my line.
It's Barack Obama.
What?
[quiet chatter]
-Hello?
-[Obama's voice] Is this Devan?
-Yeah, uh, Mr. President.
-Devan,
I've been trying
to reach you all day.
-Yeah.
-I need a [indistinct], man.
Well, what about Michelle?
[Devan] Okay, well,
are the girls coming?
Yeah, believe me.
Maxman to base.
Mission accomplished.
[Richard] Let's do this!
[Richard grunting]
[Richard laughs viciously]
According to Find-A-Phone,
you stole--
Your Jen's kid.
-It's Emma and Taylor's fault.
-Let's go, Bumblebee.
Oh. Oh, my God.
[classical music playing]
This is amazing.
[indistinct chattering]
[both] Did you?
-I did-- I--
-I did not.
I swear.
Wow.
It was pretty fantastic.
That date.
That whole night.
-Yeah, it was.
-It was.
[both chuckle]
This is unusual.
-Smells good.
-Sure does.
Should we get a beignet?
I think we should.
-We're gonna have two beignets.
-Come on right up.
Dylan.
-All right, here you guys...
-Where's Max?
Hmm. They're just as good
as they were back then.
Back then,
I was too terrified to even eat.
I was afraid you were gonna slap
me when I asked you to kiss me.
I would have kissed you
at any time during that date.
I probably
would have kissed you hello.
-Now you tell me.
-[Jen giggling]
[Jen laughing]
So you didn't do this?
I didn't do this.
It was Max.
Our Max?
He grilled me about
our first date this morning.
-Wait. Wait, it's snowing?
-Snow.
This is fantastic.
[emotional music plays]
I want to stay
with you and the kids.
There's no other home for me.
I want you to stay, too.
All right, Stuart Little.
Judgment day.
-So what happened?
-Find-A-Phone.
-I told you to turn it off.
-[Max] I forgot.
You know this little dude?
Yeah, he's my brother,
unfortunately.
Neither of my parents
are home right now,
so thank you
for bringing him back,
but I'll just take it from here.
What's going on here?
[Emma and Max] Nothing.
-Nothing.
-Doesn't look like nothing.
So maybe your mom
wants to hear about this.
-Let's go.
-[Emma and Max] No, no, no, no.
Let's go, Captain Klepto.
-Tell your mom.
-Oh, uh, Richard.
Wha-- what are you doing here?
Your kid stole my phone.
Max, is that true?
I'm sorry, you-- who are you?
Who's this guy?
-My student.
-I'm a friend.
A friend?
How do you know my wife?
-Okay, let's not do this.
-Let's not.
I just wanted to let Jen know
what a kid was up to.
Eric?
Hey, I thought that was you.
-Hey, hey, how you doing?
-Hey, all right.
Seems to be someone here
has my phone.
-[both] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
-Who's this guy?
Devan Andrew.
I'm Eric's realtor.
Realtor? Really?
And that bachelor pad?
It is ready.
-Wow, are you kidding?
-[Richard] Hey, you know what?
It's all good.
I'm just going to get going.
You want to go with him?
Beignets, anyone?
Nobody wants a beignet.
Could they turn this off?
-[indistinct]
-We've gotta make this right.
Don't turn it back. Come on.
[Eric] No bachelor pad.
[Devan] It's a beautiful pad.
[Eric] Your timing
wasn't exactly great on that.
-You need a lawyer.
-[indistinct]
-No, hold on.
-[overlapping conversation]
[Max whistling]
Quiet!
Mom and Dad, all we've been
trying to do today
is figure out
how to keep you guys together.
And you keep on screwing it up.
Okay, Max, we can talk about
this inside at dinner, but--
No, we do not want
to go to dinner
because that's where
you always announce it.
Look, don't take my word for it.
Taylor's relived the day
38 times.
-Max, that's enough.
-And every time you screw it up,
Taylor has to rewind
Grandpa's old clock.
Taylor?
No, Taylor,
I told you I got this!
-[distorted music plays]
-[whoosh]
[dramatic music plays]
[alarm beeping]
["Doin' It Right" by STS $ RJD2]
Hands up!
Max had some sort of
seizure this morning.
-[Emma sobbing]
-[Max groaning]
I'm looking at it now, Doctor.
Is there nothing we can do?
[Dylan] The best thing to do
is keep him calm.
No surprises
or trauma of any kind.
[Max groaning]
What a hospital are you at?
I think we're gonna need
a second opinion.
This is a real emergency.
Are you kidding?
Nobody believes you.
God, I miss the days we used to
put thermometers on light bulbs.
See what that might entail
I got some slight detail
from your homegirl
You know I knew your
girlfriend back in the day...
Why would thieves only steal
a dining room table?
Why not jewelry?
Okay, so your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you
all in the same place
about something important.
Yes, this is important.
No excuses.
We need everyone at dinner.
Your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you.
That's one million dollars.
And it's yours to keep.
All you have
to do is stay married.
Where did that money come from?
FBI! Nobody move!
Yo get your hands in the air,
you came to party tonight
We gon' get down, hell yeah
You'll have
the time of your life
So your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you.
Well, I thought
they weren't pretty good.
It was weird, though.
It was like they already knew.
[indistinct] Wait. Hey!
Woohoo!
Get back here!
Alright, alright
I get the stage crackin'
Shit, I get major backing
Listen, we need everybody
at dinner tonight.
Amazing news!
I just won a playwriting
contest that includes
a four-year scholarship
to college.
Oh, honey! That's amazing!
-Congratulations.
-Um, there's just one condition.
The parents
of the winning student
have to stay married
for all four years.
That's a very unusual condition
for a scholarship.
I mean,
it's a religious foundation.
I think they just want
to promote marriage, you know?
But it's not a big deal.
You guys are married.
American Foundation
for Theatre and Marriage?
I've never heard of this before.
Oh, sweetie, that seems bogus.
I'm sorry, we'll have to do
-more research.
-No, forget it!
-Wow.
-Weird.
They think
the foundation is bogus.
We just invented
a new foundation, right?
We need to try cancer again.
I know I can nail it this time.
No, look at the clock.
We can't start over anymore.
If we don't do anything,
they're splitting up at dinner.
Yeah, I know.
What do you think, Taylor?
Why don't you say something
for once?
-I'm turning it back.
-Whoa, Max. No, you're not.
-Stop.
-Don't clock block me.
Oh, my God,
not until we try everything.
We have tried everything.
You're gonna waste a day.
-It's over. I'm doing it.
-No, you're not.
[glass shattering]
Oh, God.
[Emma] I guess that
settles that.
-We're stuck with today.
-It's not my fault.
[Emma] Of course it is.
This is why
I don't want you around,
why I always avoid you.
You screw up everything.
Only because you never think
I can do anything.
You can't.
You're a walking catastrophe,
both of you.
Don't pick on him.
She didn't mean it, little bro..
["Break My Fall"
by Altidore & Chance]
Wildfire rollin' in
I'll never get
this chance again
This rumble from
[indistinct]
Rising from the empty ground
Undercover [indistinct]
I'm moving high above it all
You'll never tie me down
I wake up
as I hit the ground
Don't break my fall
I'll lose it all
Your touch enough
To bring me out
[muffled rock music plays]
-[rock music stops]
-I'm not turning it down.
Uh, no, I...
actually want to collaborate.
If you're still talking to me.
I'm sorry.
[indistinct lyrics]
All right.
-Cool.
-Yeah.
All right,
I'll write what we can say,
but the music part,
I'll let you take that over.
Good. Yeah.
Uh, we could say, you know,
that they can't have each other
even though, you know,
they deserve each other.
Oh, Max, this is so good.
It's like when pop songs
have a really good beat,
but then
you listen to the lyrics.
We need the decorations, right?
And we have to get the stage.
-[indistinct]
-Yeah.
Break me out
Don't break my fall
I'll lose it all
Your touch enough
To bring me out
Oh, oh, oh
Just bring me out
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh
[music fades]
Hello.
-Hi, Mom.
-Hey. Take a seat.
Okay.
-Hey.
-[Eric] Hi.
Dad, take a seat.
All right.
This is the story of a couple,
Jen and Derek,
who have everything
except for each other.
By the end of today,
they won't be a couple anymore.
Just can't figure out
how to live together.
[electric guitar riff plays]
[Max singing]
Father and mother
Can't be together
Ready?
Friends, therapists,
students all say
You just can't change today
Today,
just can't change today
No way
-[singing fading]
-[emotional music building]
[muffled]
...not stay together
No matter the day,
no matter the weather
When one moment
might have changed everything.
When one moment might have
made sense of the ring.
[emotional music continues]
Well, that was, uh...
That was...
It was...
What was that? [chuckles]
[footsteps approaching]
M-- Mom?
[sentimental music plays]
Dad?
[music swelling]
[music intensifies]
[music stops]
[alarm beeping]
Sorry.
I thought I was off.
We ought to do these
sibling camp outs more often.
Yeah, once in a while.
We don't want it
to lose its specialness.
Hey, we should probably
return these, right?
[uplifting music plays]
I'll see you at dinner.
Did he suspect anything?
Right, like, uh,
did this clock reset
the same day 86 times
before it exploded?
I don't know. Did he?
Hey, good morning.
What are you guys
doing down here?
Um, we were just, uh,
-helping Taylor clean up.
-Mm-hmm.
Such a bummer about the clock.
It just broke.
Come on, guys, let's go.
Come on, Barack,
I saved you a shotgun.
[Jen] Taylor, come on!
We're late for school.
[Eric] So, about tonight...
[Jen] [indistinct]
[Emma] [indistinct]
[Jen] No, [indistinct].
[rock music plays]
Oh, oh, oh
It's time to go
Oh, oh, oh
It's time to go
[music stops]
[suspenseful music plays]