The Pretty One (2013) Movie Script

Okay, are you ready?
Yeah. I'm ready.
I can't believe I'm gonna
do it with my babysitter.
Ex-babysitter. Hunter, can you
not bring that up right now?
- Sorry, sorry.
- It's okay.
I think I popped your cherry on
Tuesday, so it shouldn't hurt too bad.
Oh, okay, good.
Are you okay?
Keep going.
Those are all Audrey's.
It's a lot.
That's mine.
That's cool.
Audrey lost it when
we were only like 15.
She snuck in one night,
wasted on Zima...
and was all like, "I just lost it while
we listened to 'Kiss From a Rose.'"
I gotta jet.
Trig quiz first period.
Things aren't gonna
be weird now, right?
No. I don't know.
Okay. Yeah.
So are we like boyfriend
and girlfriend now or...?
You are so funny.
Happy birthday.
Pop.
- Happy birthday, porcupine.
- Thank you, Daddy.
You wanna fix that mouth.
It's too...
happy.
I put the cake in the kitchen. Need some
hands getting the booze out the car.
Let me take a look at you.
Give me a little something.
Oh, and happy birthday, you.
I've got a present for you.
I'm gonna take you to see
Rhonda at the salon.
Take a yard or two off that hair, little
lipstick, you'll look just like Audrey.
We are identical twins, May.
Oh, I know, honey, but it's the details that
matter when it comes to roping in a fella.
Happy birthday, LaLu.
- Hey, Dad.
- Audrey.
Anyway.
You want your present?
- "Audrey."
- So you'll always have me with you.
Come here.
Happy birthday.
A dollhouse?
No, look inside.
- What is it?
- Hang on a second.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it. Look at us.
This is so brilliant.
Just like you.
It's so you can always feel
at home whenever you're away.
Laurel, I love it.
So how does it feel being
all grown up, ladies?
Oh, it's great.
Nobody really takes you
seriously in your early 20s.
- It's much better for business.
- What sort of business?
I work at a boutique real-estate company
that specializes in storybook homes.
Come again?
Houses that look like hobbit
holes or witches' dens or...
People sure do like to
play pretend, I guess.
What are you up to, Laurel?
Still helping our dad with
those forgeries he makes.
They're not forgeries,
they're copies.
Oh, right. No, copies.
Yes, I'm sorry.
Laurel's an amazing painter.
I just finished a
cross-stitch of my Canoodle.
- I'll have to bring it by before you leave.
- Yes, sure. That'll be great.
Bye.
- Happy birthday, ladies.
- Thank you.
- Hunter.
- Hunter.
Yeah. Are you a model now?
No.
You could easily be a model.
Hunter, can I speak with you
for a moment in the kitchen?
Yeah, sure. After you.
Nice seeing you again.
What is wrong, babe?
Please don't look at my sister
like you wanna lick her face.
Babe, Laurel.
You know I only have eyes for you.
Stop. Stop. You know
this isn't right...
Hunter! What are you doing?
That's your babysitter.
Sorry, everybody, party's over.
Laurel!
Will you come down here, please?
I just didn't wanna be
a virgin forever...
waiting for some fairy-tale
guy who doesn't exist.
You need to get out of this place.
You're screwing a minor...
and you act like Dad's wife, Laurel.
It's fucked.
Hunter is almost 18. And I
don't act like Dad's wife.
You cook for him,
you clean for him.
And you wear all of our
dead mother's old clothes.
I mean, do you even have
a dress of your own?
Wearing her clothes makes me
feel like she's still around.
- You've held on long enough, Laurel.
- Well, after Mom died, you just left.
Somebody had to take
care of everything.
Laurel, Dad is a grown man.
He doesn't need you.
He can't even get ice
cubes out of the trays.
I'm really sorry for
ruining our birthday.
I don't care about our birthday.
I care about you.
You deserve better than this.
I want you to move in with me.
Really?
But he'll never let me go.
I'm taking Laurel to
live with me, Dad.
Okay.
Good talk.
I don't see the point in going with you.
My loser-ness is just...
too painfully obvious
when I'm with you.
Listen...
we have the same DNA, Laurel.
And despite the story
you've made up about me...
- ...I don't have everything figured out.
- Yeah, right.
You'll see.
But what would I do?
Paint.
Dad's always fixing
my work, I can't.
You're coming home with me...
you're gonna do your own
painting, and that is that.
But you cannot come home with me...
with all of this coming
out of your head.
- My hair?
- Yeah.
Makeover.
Who is Charles?
No one.
You didn't tell me you
were dating someone.
I don't wanna talk about it.
- Fire drill!
- No.
Come on, don't be such an old lady!
Laurel, you're gonna
miss your appointment.
No.
- I am going to go buy you a dress.
- Okay.
So did you bring a
picture or something?
Well, what do you wanna look like?
Her, I guess?
Okay, we'll give it a try.
Laurel, they had pretty
slim pickings, but...
Wait, are you guys twins?
I like the dress so much,
it's really sweet.
Look, I thought you wanted
me to be more like you.
I want you to be like you, Laurel.
Like you.
I mean, I figured it looks good on you,
so it's gonna look all right on me.
Dad is gonna freak out when
he sees you like that.
I know, we haven't had the same
haircut since before Mom died.
Seriously, I'm so glad no one
is around when we do that.
So do I get to meet your boyfriend?
- Fire drill!
- Hey, hey, no fair.
Don't change the subject.
- Hey, seat belts.
- Who needs a seat belt?
I have a hair belt.
Can you show me two fingers?
My sister.
She...
She passed.
You were in a head-on collision,
she was driving, you...
You went through the windshield.
Can I see her?
There was a fire.
There's nothing to see.
That's her.
That's her!
You're twins.
That's you, Audrey.
Audrey?
That's your name.
What's the last thing you remember?
The party.
Injuries like this, people lose
everything around the accident.
When is she gonna
remember who she is?
She has post-traumatic amnesia.
It's not structural or permanent.
She should get her bearings in a few
days once the swelling goes down.
We should monitor her closely.
She could have lingering memory
problems, difficulty speaking...
We'll bring her home after
supper, get her situated.
I'm gonna make a Jell-O
mold for the reception...
the kind with the
floating fruit in it.
Laurel told me it made
her feel peaceful.
It reminded her of
floating in outer space.
May called your work to let
them know what happened.
What do I do?
You're in real estate, honey.
I called Claudia.
She's coming tomorrow
with her boyfriend.
Claudia?
Your best friend.
You want me to call anyone else?
No.
I don't want her to come.
I don't want anyone to come.
Let us know if you need anything.
We leave for the service
first thing in the morning.
Laurel's funeral is this morning.
Mama...
I wish you were here.
My funeral.
Oh, no, no, no. My funeral...
My funeral is this morning.
My funeral.
Hi.
How are you feeling this morning?
- I'm not... I'm okay. I...
- That's just great.
I was just telling your father...
you've always been
a very strong girl.
And I know it'll be rough going...
but I just know you'll
find some way to triumph.
- Thanks. I...
- And Laurel...
she was such a strange little bird.
Never got over your mama...
and I just don't think she
could've got past losing you too.
It's just better that
it happened this way.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
What was it you were
gonna tell us, honey?
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm not really...
I'm actually not...
I'm just starting to remember
some things, and...
That's just fantastic, honey.
That's great news.
Great.
Yup, it's great, really great.
Great news.
Would anyone like to say a
few parting words to Laurel?
A shared moment, perhaps?
Anything?
Frank?
Audrey?
It's too bad...
that Laurel never got a chance
to get out of this place...
since she clearly meant
shit to all of you people.
And you know, it's
really too bad...
that I was the only one who ever saw
anything special in her or believed in her.
And now that she's gone, you
assholes can't hurt her anymore!
What are you doing here? My parents
are gonna flip if they see you.
I knew you knew. I knew you knew.
I felt... I thought...
I didn't know,
but I felt something.
I just realized it this morning.
I've been dreaming of this
moment since I was like 10.
What?
I... I've been in love with you
since the fourth grade, Audrey.
I mean, she looked like
you, but she wasn't...
She wasn't you.
I don't understand. You kissed me.
You were her only friend.
She loved you.
Well, yeah, but I liked her too.
Don't get me wrong.
It's just that...
You're...
You're a goddess.
Audrey.
It's chilly out here, come inside.
She took care of you
for all those years.
How could you not say anything?
- Let's take this inside.
- Yeah.
"Let's take it inside.
Let's take it inside."
God forbid we should ever say
anything about how we feel!
Dad, say something.
Right now. Just say something!
Say something!
I have to go back to work.
In the shape you're in?
I'll follow up with
my doctors at home.
What should we do
with all her things?
Donate them, I don't care.
She didn't have anything anyway.
Wait.
I've got something for you.
What about all those other paintings?
What are you gonna do with those?
Which other paintings?
These are all Laurel's.
I couldn't send them to customers.
They're not quite right.
You can take as many
of them as you like.
I can't use them.
No, that's okay.
I'll just take the one.
Three fives.
- You got a draw?
- Yeah.
Good this far?
I got three ones...
but just because of that lucky
draw I was telling you about.
- Then how about 10, 11, 12, 13?
- Great.
Hey, what are you doing?
Leave Basel alone.
He doesn't want to move out.
Timor, I can handle this.
You want me to move out...
pay me a move-out fee.
It's the way it works.
- The law is on the tenant's side.
- Oh, you're my tenant.
- Yeah.
- Sorry, I got in an accident.
I...
I have post-traumatic amnesia.
I've never met a real-life amnesiac.
Cool.
- Dinner!
- Oh, that's my mom.
- Yup.
- Can I take this one?
Yeah. You're gonna have
it back in two weeks?
- I guess.
- All right. Perfect.
Thanks, buddy.
- Good playing.
- You too.
- Bye.
- All right, bye.
Why did I wanna kick you out?
So your sister can move in here.
- That was nice of me.
- It was.
Except for when you called
me a creepy man-child...
and tried to kick me out.
That was less nice.
Well, so my sister will not be moving in
because of extenuating circumstances...
so you don't have to leave.
No, really?
Oh, thank you, Audrey.
Books.
Yes, these are books.
Yeah, I sell these books online...
and I lend them to people in
the neighborhood, mostly kids.
You wanna borrow one?
Help yourself.
I broke my arm once,
so I can relate to that.
Do you wanna sign
my cast, whatever?
- You okay?
- Yeah, I mean you don't have to...
No, no, please. I'd like to.
I was thinking something like,
I don't know:
"I hate you. Love, Basel."
How about "I hate you.
Hate, Basel"?
That's better. You improved.
There you go.
You okay? You seem
really different.
I do? No.
Like how?
Well, you're being nice to me.
Whatever.
Audrey, that's your phone ringing.
You should probably answer it.
Right. Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
- You live right over there.
- Right, okay.
Hello?
Hi, Charles. Charles.
Hi.
Yeah. I'm okay.
Yeah, sure.
Can you remind me what
our place is again?
Okay. Great.
I'll just remember that.
Yes, I'll see you there.
I love you too.
Bye.
- It's me, Claudia.
- Come in.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
Oh, my God.
This was on the porch.
Oh, sorry.
I just talked to your dad.
Do you remember me?
He said you might not.
- No, yes, I remember.
- Okay, good.
He said your phone melted
in the accident, literally melted.
I made you my egg-white meringue.
How are you? I mean
really, how are you?
I'm okay. Yeah, you know,
a little turned around.
Yeah.
- Did you do something to your hair?
- No.
- Just a... Yeah, a little trim.
- Yeah.
Everyone in the office knows.
Edith says take as much
bereavement as you need.
You don't have to refrigerate that.
What is that smell?
I don't know.
- Maybe the flowers.
- Yeah, okay.
Whoa, yes.
You know, I'm really great
to go back to work.
I really want to, you know,
just get back to normal...
I hear that.
Back to normal, great idea, but maybe
you should consider not going back...
until it looks like you didn't
just go through a windshield.
They're so perfect they seem fake.
It's like they're in
Technicolor or something.
Don't know their real names,
so I call them The Browns.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown, and
their kids, Dick and Jane.
Dick and Jane, yeah.
I didn't think of naming the kids.
Right...
Hey. We're just talking
about the Browns together.
Fascinating.
Okay, ready?
Oh, sure.
Do you want me to call Hortensia?
Get this place cleaned up?
Audrey?
Oh, yeah, hi.
Yes, nice meeting you...
To see you.
I'm so...
so, so, so sorry.
- I know how much she meant to you.
- You do?
I think our table is ready.
So this place is super
close to my apartment.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah.
You know, I just don't
really feel like myself.
I don't remember a lot of things.
It's okay. We'll take it slow.
I have to go to pee...
To the bathroom.
- Darling, is everything all right?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
What's the matter?
- You're not still mad at me, are you?
- No, it's not you. I mean...
Why would I still be mad at you?
Look, I'm sorry that I sprang a
divorce on you. Okay? I don't...
- We're married?
- No, we're not married.
So you are married to someone else?
Audrey, just forget the divorce.
All right?
We can go back to this
little farce of ours.
I get it.
You're right, commitment is scary.
- Did I break up with you?
- Yeah, but I know you didn't mean it.
I'll go back to her.
And you and I can... We'll just pretend
that none of this ever happened.
So wait, what, you would
just be with both of us?
That's what you want, isn't it?
I don't wanna be
someone's mistress.
I don't wanna be
someone's second choice.
I deserve better than that.
Audrey.
Wait. Audrey!
Leave me alone!
- Audrey.
- Go pay our check!
I don't understand what's...
Audrey. Goddamn it. Open up the door.
You're acting like a child.
Go away, okay?
Or I'm gonna call the police.
- Can we talk about this like adults?
- Go away.
No. You're not my second choice.
Why do you think I want a divorce?
- I'm trying to make this real.
- Audrey, is everything all right?
- Basel, is that you?
- Yes.
- Can you make him go away?
- I'm not gonna go away.
- Open the door.
- She said she wants you to go away.
This really doesn't concern you.
Oh, it kind of does
because she asked you...
Hey, don't kick her door.
Let's be gentlemen. Let's call her.
It'll make this...
Would you mind
your own business, pal?
What did you punch me
in the face for, man?
You son of a bitch.
- Is he gonna be okay?
- Oh, I'm sure he'll be just fine.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Your boyfriend just accidentally
punched me in the face.
- I guess it's funny.
- I'm sorry.
Come in. I have, like,
Band-Aids, I think, and stuff.
It's a huge overreaction
by that guy.
I know. I'm sorry.
He's not really my boyfriend.
I'm really sorry about the mess.
I just didn't know what to wear.
Well, I'm just judging with
my one good eye anyhow.
Oh, fuck.
No, no, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, you fucking idiot.
I have all this stuff.
Sorry. I was looking at it
and then blood spilled on it.
I didn't mean to.
- Can I get a towel or something?
- Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
- Let me tilt your head back.
- Sure.
- I really just need one of these.
- Okay.
Thanks.
I think it's really good.
The painting.
Oh, no, it's not.
I just... I didn't even finish it.
I'm serious. I think it's really good.
I think it's better than the original.
I mean it. She's got,
like, bigger secrets.
Looks like she's got
plans for the weekend.
Yeah. I don't know.
I was gonna throw it away.
Throw it away? Well...
Considering it's our first collaboration,
with my blood and all, can I keep it?
Sure. I mean, if you want.
Well, I'll take it. Thanks.
How's your arm?
It must've been a
pretty gnarly accident.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
My sister...
died in it, the accident.
Fuck, Audrey. I didn't...
Was she older than you
or younger than you?
Younger...
by two minutes.
Your twin sister died?
- Oh, fuck.
- Yeah.
Laurel.
Did I ever tell you about her?
No, you never told me about her.
We've never actually
talked, Audrey.
It's a miracle that
I'm sitting here now.
- I'm sorry.
- No, you don't... That came out wrong.
You don't have to be sorry.
Your twin just died.
You never have to be sorry
for anything again.
So like a free pass to just
be, like, a horrible person?
Sure.
You could be raping and pillaging.
- I'd probably forgive you for it.
- Great.
When my grandma died...
She raised me, meant everything to me.
I freaked out.
I got drunk all the time,
just waggled my dick around.
Just looked for trouble.
What was she like? Your sister?
If you don't mind talking about it.
Laurel...
lived at home still.
She took care of our dad.
We come from this
really small town.
People thought, you know, pretty
much thought she was a weirdo.
I was kind of her only friend.
Well, everybody thinks
I'm really weird.
But I'm not. I'm actually fucking
really smart and talented.
So that's probably
how your sister is too.
Do you do that a lot?
Compliment yourself.
- Doesn't everybody?
- No, I don't think so.
I think everybody pretty much just tells
themselves they suck all the time.
Well, then I dare you.
Oh, yeah, to what?
What do you think?
To compliment yourself.
Okay.
Okay. I am... I am really...
I am really small.
That is the worst
compliment I've heard.
That's a fact.
That's not a compliment,
but it's a start.
We got a start, Audrey.
All right.
Here. Were you serious
about this painting?
Or was that what people say when
you bleed on their painting?
- Yeah, you can take that if you want it.
- I want to.
No, no, no. It's okay.
Thanks for everything.
- Thanks for defending me.
- You got it.
Hey...
we should hang out
sometime, you know?
Oh, yeah. I mean...
You mean like a date or...?
No, just as friends.
Oh, yeah, right. Friends. Cool.
Anyway, I've got this thing that I
was in the middle of doing and...
What the...?
Audrey, darling.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I can't imagine what
you've been through.
Oh, thank you.
- Edith.
- Edith.
Take as much time as you need.
And let me know if I can
do anything for you.
- Anything.
- Great.
We're actually on our way
to show some properties.
Wonderful. We need her back in
action as soon as we can get her.
Come.
All right.
Let's do this.
All right.
The empty ones are always
the hardest to sell.
Oh, yeah, totally.
- Are you all right?
- I'm cool.
Okay. It's second nature.
You just point out the good
stuff, minimize the bad.
Pitch them on a future life
where their dreams come true.
They either like it or not, and
you do the fucking paperwork.
Okay.
Okay.
- You're gonna be great.
- Great.
All right.
- Hi, Mrs. Matthews.
- Hello.
- Come in.
- Thank you.
- David.
- Hi.
- Darren.
- Oh, my stars.
- What happened to you?
- Oh, I got in an accident.
- I'm fine.
- Oh, well...
So...
So this is the...
living room.
Over there is a...
little door.
I'm sorry.
I froze.
I'm gonna figure it out, I promise.
Please.
Just don't be mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
I just don't know what
is going on with you.
That's not you.
I got nervous.
There's like this whole community
for twins whose twin died...
and, okay, they have
these support groups.
I got you some brochures, here.
Why did you get me so many?
Hey, Audrey.
This is the girl I told you about,
the one who has amnesia.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What?
- Nothing.
Basel thinks you're prettier now
that you stopped being a beyotch.
- Peter.
- Someone's gotta have some balls.
He said that? Really?
Do you "like" like him?
No.
What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
What did you say?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
What did you guys say?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
Why you guys talking
at the same time again?
No.
No, don't go.
Don't leave.
Hello?
Hello?
Hi, Daddy. I mean, Dad.
May and I are getting married
at the end of the month.
It's just a little
courthouse thing...
so we'd like you to come
be our witness.
Don't you think it's a little
soon, Dad? I mean...
she just died.
Life's too short to
wait any longer.
I've been alone a long time.
Dad?
It's just...
you know, I get to
painting in the morning...
and I realize I'm
just really hungry.
I'm waiting for her to
come bring me breakfast.
She used to smash raspberries
down on the toast, you know?
- She said that...
- Jam is too sugary.
Yeah, yeah.
- Dad.
- Frank.
- Dad.
- Yeah?
Nothing.
Look, I know we haven't
talked since...
But now that's... We're all that's
left of our little family, you know?
You know, maybe we should
try to talk sometimes.
Sure, Dad.
Frank.
I gotta go, okay?
I gotta go. I gotta go.
I think that that's something that James
has been struggling with as well. So...
Hi, welcome.
Come join us, please.
Hi.
New members usually start
by introducing themselves.
Would you like to do that?
My name is Laurel... Audrey.
Hi, Laurel Audrey.
Welcome to Twins Without Twins.
Would you like to tell
us what you're feeling?
I'm...
just having a hard time...
letting go of my sister.
I think we all know how that feels,
right?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Would you like to tell us more
about your twin...
or the different emotions that
you've been going through?
Hey.
Oh, hey.
Did they say you could do that?
No, they didn't. Come on in.
I can't.
So what?
Hang on.
- Nice work.
- Thank you.
Well, come on in.
You've already done the hard part.
I'd take the stairs,
it's the easiest way in.
- Is it okay?
- It's cold.
Yeah, they don't heat it
when they're gone.
Yeah, just commit to
it, just jump in.
It's super terrible but just do it.
Nice job.
- It's cold, right?
- Yeah.
- Well, I'm glad you did it.
- Yeah.
I think...
I think I might...
Well, thank you for joining me for
this midnight swim, Mrs. Brown.
What?
It's kind of easier if we just pretend
we're married and this is our pool.
Mr. Brown...
you've done such a beautiful job
keeping this pool nice and clean.
Well, Mrs. Brown, you know,
I do everything I can.
I shouldn't have fired
the heating guy.
You know me, Mrs. Brown, I think
I can do everything myself.
I think...
I'm gonna need your help with
the children in the morning.
For the bake sale?
Yeah, because we've gotta raise
some money for the rainforest.
Oh, absolutely. That's a big concern
of Dicky and Janey.
And maybe you could pack their
lunches in the morning.
I'll pack their lunch, put a note in
there, tell them how much I adore...
Their mother?
Yeah.
And then, you know...
after school we can...
you know, take them
to the playground and...
How do you take this thing off?
Just break it.
- Oh, my God.
- No, not...
- Am I doing something wrong?
- No, you're not.
- What am I doing?
- Nothing.
Just say it.
I like it when you touch me.
That was it.
- You did?
- I do, that was...
Even when I touch you in your ear?
- Beep.
- Beep.
Beep.
Thanks.
I feed you.
Audrey.
Audrey.
Audrey, are you here?
Audrey.
Audrey, come on.
What do you wanna order, Mr. Brown?
- Would you like to split something?
- I suppose, Mr. Brown.
- Does that sound good?
- Sounds good.
- Seriously?
- It's so crazy that your twin died.
Elvis' twin died at birth.
He never got over it.
- Jesus, Patrick.
- What? It's true.
You have the subtlety
of a monster truck.
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
- Yeah, he totally killed himself.
- Dude.
What is...? Everybody
knows Elvis died.
Oh, God.
She shouldn't be
having so much fun.
I mean, it's not right.
It's not right to have fun?
No, not when you're
mourning your twin sister.
What, you want her wearing black
and wailing all the time?
Yeah. No.
But she doesn't...
She seems different, doesn't she?
- She's still hot.
- Oh, fuck you, Patrick.
Hey, Mrs. Brown.
It's time to wake up if we're
gonna beat the crowds.
But who's gonna watch the kids?
Come on.
- Hi.
- Hey.
She's out back painting if you want her.
You can walk through my place.
- I actually need to talk to you.
- To me?
Well, what have I done?
Does she ever...?
- Does she talk to you about Laurel?
- Yeah, a lot.
That is... Yeah.
She won't talk to me and
I wanted to make sure...
- ...that someone was here for her...
- Well, I'm here.
I got it.
Okay.
You know, she seems
perfect but she's not.
Usually she has her guard up, okay?
She wants everyone to believe
she's got it all together...
but with you, she's
let her guard down.
If you break her heart, I will
fucking murder your face.
- Definitely. Thanks for talking to me.
- I don't get it.
Just a few weeks ago, we
were making fun of your B.O.
Thanks for stopping by.
How come you don't ever talk
about your sister with me?
You know, everything
is so great with us.
Come on, cool it with that.
What do you think, if you show me how
you feel, I'm not gonna like you?
- Yeah, maybe.
- Really?
This isn't gonna last
if it's like that.
If this is real, we gotta tell
each other the bad stuff.
And if this isn't real, if this
is just my kind of imagination...
then I wanna know now.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I have never done this before.
I don't...
I don't even know what
the real me looks like.
- Well, I think I do.
- Really?
Yes, I do.
She's funny and she's weird...
and likes to play games
and she makes me laugh.
I think that's the real you.
I like her.
That's who I want.
That's what I want.
So this is my favorite
feature of the house.
I thought it would make a great little
clubhouse for your kids someday.
- I'm never gonna be able to get in there.
- But I can.
No, I'm definitely not
gonna fit in there.
- Isn't this awesome?
- I love it.
Here is the yard.
Now, you said you like to cook.
I was thinking you could plant a little
vegetable garden right over there.
And eat the harvest
every year as a family.
I'm so excited to show you this.
There's a beautiful place you'll
really love to put a swing.
I like swinging.
- Happy hour after?
- Of course.
- I'll get started on the agreement.
- Get those papers, girl.
I know.
- So proud of you.
- Thank you.
Hi, sir.
What are you doing here?
- Hi, dear.
- Hi.
- How's everything going?
- It's great.
Guess what? I just got an
offer on the new storybook.
Fantastic.
Audrey is recovering
from a nasty accident.
Terrible.
He's not a client, he's my ex.
I think we should get going.
The appointment... We don't
wanna be late for that.
And we can discuss this in the car.
What part of "Can you keep your dick out
of my office while I'm pregnant?"...
did you not understand?
- Edith, let's discuss this in the car.
- No, we'll be discussing this now.
I am so sorry.
I will be back at 3 and I expect there
to be no trace of you left here.
All we did was kiss.
Oh, my God, I'm... Your poor baby.
I'm really, really...
Audrey.
Charles.
Charles.
She was not supposed to be the one
to fuck this up. I was. It is my job.
- I am always the one who does that.
- You'll get another job, Audrey.
- I think you need to take some time off.
- I don't wanna take time off.
I don't want to have all
day to sit around...
and think about how half of me is
fucking dead for fucking ever.
- Does that sound like fun to you?
- No, no, not really.
It sounds terrible, I'm sorry. I...
Basel.
Basel.
We need to get some ice cream.
Ice cream is not gonna fix this.
Mrs. Brown, ice cream
fixes everything.
Yeah, it's gonna get me a job?
Yes.
Here, would you hold this?
You can even have some.
This is gonna cheer you up.
Well, Mrs. Brown, I got something
I've been wanting to give you.
As you know, we are a happily married
couple with two lovely kids.
But I want more.
I wanna renew our vows, dear.
Okay.
You don't believe me, all right.
So the thing I got you, Mrs. Brown,
is a very expensive ring.
What are you doing?
Will you marry me again and make me
the happiest man in the whole world?
You are very cute but you
have terrible timing.
Well, that's a weird no.
For real...
I love you now.
And I've loved you since the first
moment that I met you, Audrey.
- Take it back.
- I thought you'd have a different reaction.
- Take that part back.
- Take what back?
The part about loving
me since you met me.
What difference does it make?
It's a nice thing to say.
I need this to be
mine, to be my love.
It is yours. I don't care if you
didn't love me when we first met.
But if you loved me back then, it
means you don't actually love me.
Well, I don't think
that's true, Audrey.
I'm not Audrey.
- Because you're Mrs. Brown?
- No, I'm not Mrs. Brown.
And I'm not Audrey.
I don't get what game
we're playing right now.
I'm Laurel.
I'm her twin.
What does that mean?
Audrey died, we're twins.
- Audrey died.
- Are you...?
- Are you being serious?
- Yes.
So you died, or your sister died in
the car accident, and you came back?
They got confused in the hospital.
They thought I was Audrey but I'm not.
And I didn't remember at first.
- If this is a joke, it's...
- It's not a joke.
You lied this whole time?
You pretended
to be your dead sister?
I'm the same person. I just
have a different name.
Who does that?
I trusted you.
- I asked if it was real and you said yeah.
- It is real.
It's all bullshit.
I'm so sorry. I just...
Hi.
- The wedding's not till next week, honey.
- I know.
Can I come in?
Come in, come in.
I came here because I need
to tell you something.
Okay.
You guys...
were wrong.
At the hospital, you were wrong.
Wrong about what?
Who I am.
Audrey is the one who died.
What?
Porcupine?
Oh, my God.
But, you...
I mean...
But...
your hair...
- I mean, we all thought...
- You poor child.
When did you finally remember?
The morning of the funeral.
You went to your own funeral?
On purpose?
Is this funny to you?
No, no, it's not funny to me.
No, Daddy.
Dad.
Dad.
Daddy.
Frank.
Frank, do something.
- Do something.
- I can't find my fucking cerulean.
I'm sorry, Dad.
No, stop it.
There is no excuse.
This is beyond...
No, but, Dad, no one
cared that I was gone.
How can you say that?
You were my porcupine.
- We did everything together.
- I know.
But, Daddy, you didn't even have
anything to say at the funeral.
I was in shock, you know?
Just lost my baby girl.
Excuse me if I wasn't Shakespeare.
I just...
I just needed to know that...
That you loved me.
We're gonna have to
have another funeral.
- What are people gonna say?
- I don't give a hot damn what they say!
Don't get snippy with me!
I'm not the one who lied.
Can I just have a minute?
- Can you two just give me a moment?
- Well, I never!
Daddy?
Daddy.
- I'll do that.
- I got it.
But I always do the dishes.
Well, I've been doing them since
you left, so it's about time.
Okay.
What can I do to make
you stop hating me?
I don't know when I'm gonna find it in
my heart to forgive you on this, porc.
I mean...
I'm glad you're back and all...
but here I am mourning the
death of another child.
And I'll be goddamned if it's
not confusing as all hell.
I understand.
I don't think you do.
But I want to.
I want to know.
If there's anything I took
away from your being dead...
it's that I wished you'd have
stopped worrying about me...
and gotten on with your life.
You need to start worrying about
what you're dealing with.
Would anyone like to say a
few parting words to Audrey?
Well...
this is a certifiably weird place
I've put everyone in, huh?
Nothing I say really matters.
You still think
there's something wrong with me...
and you would be right.
So...
I'll just say this.
Audrey...
Audrey was...
everything to me.
She was the much bigger
half of our whole.
And I couldn't let her go.
Hey, guys.
- Hi, Laurel.
- Hey.
Thank you for coming.
Do you wanna give me
the official tour?
A tour?
Sure.
This is the living
room with furniture.
Okay, come with me.
So are you staying here?
No.
It's not exactly an abode
for a grown woman.
Well said, Captain Obvious.
I was just saying.
I thought I was going crazy back
there, but I knew it wasn't her.
I know you did.
You more than anyone.
You must have really loved her.
I wanted to be just like her.
But I'm not.
I guess we have more in
common than we thought.
I'm gonna go back to the city...
and I think it's best we remain friends
despite our past disagreements.
Yeah, I agree.
Good.
Good technique.
Beautiful palette.
You got more of these?
You should show them.
Yeah, I was thinking about
taking them around.
It's about time you
did your own work.
So...
you probably figured
this out already...
but I'm in love.
I know, I know we
disagree on this...
but I actually think
he smells really good.
He smells real.
You know...
like sweat and life...
and sex.
I feel like myself around him.
And I'm making you a promise.
Right now...
I'm going to do what
you wanted me to do.
I'm going to be more like me.
Find out what that really means.
What do you want?
You.
I want you, please.
May I please have you?
Well, you know what?
Fuck you if you think
I'm that easy.
I know you're not that easy.
- Little cowboy coming up.
- Hey, kids, what's up?
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
All right, get in there, guys.
Guys, plenty of sweets right here.
It's candy.
- You're early this year.
- Happy Halloween.
- Happy Halloween.
- Happy Halloween.
So, what are you dressed as?
Myself.
- So that's what Laurel looks like?
- Yeah, this is what I look like.
I told everyone at home about
the whole identity thing.
Wow, how'd that go?
I'm still alive.
Well, you seem to be, but you
never know with the two of you.
I miss you.
I miss you terribly.
I know you feel like
you don't know me...
but I'm telling you, you do.
I'm just asking you to take
a chance on that person.
I know I really messed up.
I know I am fucked up.
But despite all that, I...
All in all, I am...
like, a pretty cool girl.
Well, nice work on
complimenting yourself.
Thank you.
Also, I really think you should
know this cast comes off tomorrow.
You've never seen
this forearm before.
It's probably atrophied and will never
be as muscular as the other one.
Gee, thank you.
I don't know.
Well, do you wanna
sit down with me?
So what, did you, like, inherit
the duplex or something?
Yeah.
And I was thinking about
doing some construction.
Like what?
Tear down the wall between the
two apartments, make it one.
Oh, yeah?