The Reluctant Royal (2025) Movie Script
1
(soft music)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
- We'll get you running
in no time at all.
- How come you don't talk to me
like that?
- I don't?
- Do you know how long
we've been going out?
- Uh...
- Three months.
- That long?
(sighs)
- We need to talk.
(soft music)
- What exactly are we?
- We're two people...
who like each other.
A lot.
- I need to know you're ready
to take our relationship
to the next level.
- Or... We could...
we could keep it at
the current level.
The current level's nice.
(sighs)
- I knew it.
- Look, um...
I'm just not quite there yet.
- You're a sweet guy, Johnny,
but...
I need someone
who can commit.
(sighs)
(door closing)
(engine clicking sound)
- Pop the hood.
(clicking)
Start 'er up.
(car starting sound)
(soft music)
- Johnny!
- Steve!
How's my power blend selling?
- They're not.
I agreed to this little hobby
of yours, but this is a bar.
Nobody wants juice. Well,
except Ms. B over here.
- It's delicious.
And it fixed my headache.
- See? She gets it.
- Speaking of fixing...
Do you know anything
about toaster ovens?
- Come on. Give me a day.
- Thanks.
(soft music)
- Hello.
I know it's your first day,
but we don't wear black
at the castle.
Black is for mourning
and funerals. Protocol.
- So sorry, Miss.
- White jackets in pantry #2.
Michelle, could you help her
please?
- Annie. The ball is
in eight days,
I need
everything to be perfect.
- And it will be.
- Oh, make sure the napkins
all have a crisp edge.
- Like overcooked bacon.
- But not.
(laughter)
At noon, you meet with
the bishop.
Statue dedication at two,
tea at four
with the Gloucester committee.
Oh, and you need to finalize
your speech for the ball.
Also, I hate to bring it up
again, but...
The taxes are a bit overdue.
(sighs)
Are you alright, your Grace?
- I'm tired, Prudence.
Of all of it.
These endless duties
and obligations.
I'm not getting any younger.
It's time we started preparing
for the inevitable
and sorted out
my succession plans.
- Your Grace?
- As you know,
with no direct heir,
the title will pass
to my closest relative.
Please send
for my cousin Alistair.
- I'm sure he's waiting
patiently by the phone.
(drops book)
- You don't approve?
- He's a title chaser.
Also, I've seen him play polo.
His horse threw him. Twice.
Horses are an excellent judge
of character.
- Surely you can't judge a man
by that.
- Mmm...
- At any rate, I've never really
connected with the people here.
If there's any way to save
this place, it's with new blood.
- Alistair Covington-Breed
is hardly new blood.
- Well, perhaps
he'll surprise us. At any rate,
I've made up my mind.
Please begin putting my affairs
in order.
- As you wish, your Grace.
(soft music)
(sighs)
Marriage?
(papers shuffling)
Marriage certificate.
(scoffs)
(up tempo music)
Your Grace!
I'm not quite sure how to say
this, but prepare to be...
surprised
isn't quite the word.
- What is the word?
- Gobsmacked!
(intense music)
- Alright everybody,
we know what night it is.
It's karaoke night!
(cheering)
And first up, coming to
the stage, we got Johnny Payne!
- Oh really? No!
- Come on Johnny, get up here!
(applause)
- Thanks, Steve.
- Let's go!
- Oh!
And now.
For the moment absolutely
nobody has been waiting for!
(laughter)
We ready for this?
( Born To Be Wild
by Steppenwolf)
Whoo!
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah darlin'
gonna make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born,
born to be wild
Gonna fly so high
Never gonna die
Born to be Wild
- Yeah, come on!
Born to be Wild
(applause)
(clears throat)
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Your landlord said
I might find you here.
- Well, here I am.
- Prudence Thorpe.
- Johnny Payne.
- Your hair is quite... tall.
- Thanks? I grew it myself.
You're not a process server,
are you, because I returned
those library books.
- I'm advisor to William,
Duke of Glasswick.
- Oh... Oh, that's a...
that's a new one.
- He's requesting your presence
at Glasswick Castle,
south of York.
- York.
- England.
- Great. Well, you know what?
Tell him I'll be there,
right after I meet with the King
of Hearts and Mr. Potato Head.
(car horn sound)
Just one second.
- Alright, everybody, next up.
We got Melanie.
- Ma. Can I call you back?
Yeah, I love you too.
Okay, yeah, I'll call you back.
- Time is of the essence here.
(soft rock song
in the background)
- Wow, you're really taking
this all the way, aren't you?
- I assure you,
I'm quite serious.
- Hm. Yes, you are.
So why would this duke
of wherever want to see me?
- Is there somewhere a little
more private we can talk?
- Yeah.
I think the music was a
little too loud,
but I could've sworn
I heard you say something crazy,
like a duke wanted to see me?
- Indeed. It seems you are
next in line to succeed him.
- What?
- Yeah.
The duke.
He's your father.
- No, thanks.
- That's, uh... that's all
you have to say?
- You can ask my father,
whoever he is,
where's he been
the last 38 years of my life?
And you can tell him
some other things, too.
- Don't bother. He can't commit.
Oh, he'll wait for you
to break up with him,
and fix your car on the way out.
- So you shan't be
coming, then?
- I shan't not.
- It's rather disappointing.
I was hoping that perhaps,
oh, never mind.
I will inform the duke.
Good day.
(footsteps)
- You forgot this!
(soft music)
- Hey Ma!
- Oh, Doll face!
- Hey...
- What's wrong?
- You won't believe this. Uh...
Some snoot with an English
accent walked into Steve's.
Apparently, good ol' Dad
wants to meet me.
Or rather,
I'm being summoned.
- Oh dear.
- I guess we never really talked
about him.
- I tried.
- Yeah.
I just didn't want to hear
about some clown who ran out
on us.
- It wasn't quite like that,
not really.
(sighs)
Sit down.
He was on holiday.
And I was singing at a piano bar
downtown.
And he came in every night
for a week.
- But... you got married
after a week?
(chuckles)
- Three!
(laughter)
We eloped.
We were young. And foolish.
I knew he was
from some stuffy family,
but he said he wanted
to get away from all that.
- Apparently not.
- They pressed him to return.
And he did.
He chose them.
So, I annulled it.
Found out I was pregnant,
and I sent him a letter
to let him know.
But I never heard back.
I decided right then and
there it was going to be
you and me.
- You know,
you were the best two parents
any kid could ask for.
- Meet him.
Mm? Go there.
(sighs)
- Why?
- See this part of yourself,
even if it's a small part.
- Yeah, maybe I will.
Just so I can look him in
the eye
and tell him that we turned out
just fine without him.
Check this out.
First-class ticket.
- Oh, what?
- Yeah.
(folk music)
- First time in our village?
- First time out of the States.
- Oh. What business have you got
at the castle?
- I'm seeing the Duke.
- The old crust?
(laughter)
Sure you are.
And what are you gonna say
to him?
- Hi, Dad?
(laughter)
- Oh, that is a good one, mate!
"Hi, Dad!"
(laughter)
(folk music)
Ayup. There's my castle.
Best grog in town.
- I might need a grog or two
after this.
- Good afternoon.
- Prudence.
Delightful
to see you again.
- You also.
- How good to be back
in the duchy again!
- I trust you're finding
your rooms to be adequate.
- Mine's a bit small.
I prefer the East Wing,
where I usually stay.
- Oh, that's closed off now,
Lady Elena.
- Alistair,
that should be remedied.
- Of course, Mother.
And I'm hoping that when
the time comes
that Prudence will stay on
as my advisor.
- Ah, yes.
(soft music)
- Holy guacamole!
- She's a beaut, isn't she?
She used to be worth
something once.
Not anymore.
I hear there's more debts
than rooms in this place.
You want me to wait? It won't be
long before they boot you out.
(laughter)
- It's okay.
- Give my regards
to the old crust.
- Will do.
- Welcome back.
Cousin Alistair.
- Your Grace.
- Lady Elena.
- Your Grace.
- Thank you for coming
at such short notice.
I trust you'll stay on
for the ball at the weekend?
- We wouldn't miss it
for all the tea in China!
(laughter)
- As Prudence has explained,
I've decided to start
the process
of handing over my duties
and passing on the duchy
to its rightful heir.
- Yes.
- Who, as I'm sure you know,
is...
(car horn sound)
- Ma. Yeah, I made it.
- Good Lord. What is that?
- It's a... castle.
- That is
the next Duke of Glasswick.
- What?
(soft suspenseful music)
- How you doin'?
I'm Johnny.
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Phew!
(whistles)
(Johnny chuckles)
- May I take your luggage, sir?
- Oh, it's good,
I'll hang onto it. Thank you.
- I assure you,
I'll guard it with my life.
- Thank you, Jeffers.
As you might imagine,
we weren't expecting you.
- You invited me!
- And here you are!
- Where's he?
- His Grace will be with you
shortly.
Perhaps you'd like to change.
- Into someone else?
- We do have a dress code, so...
our footmen can bring you
a jacket and tie.
- Well, then, I wouldn't look
like me.
- So you shan't be
changing clothes, then?
- I shan't not.
(chuckles)
- Oh, please
don't touch anything.
- Well, maybe I'll just...
have a look around.
- We can't have you wandering
about, getting lost.
Follow me.
Glasswick Castle has
three wings,
67 rooms, a library,
drawing room, sitting room,
dining room
and lesser dining room.
(soft piano music)
This is the grand ballroom.
- You throwing a party?
- The Glasswick Ball.
It's a time-honoured tradition.
Nothing has changed
in three centuries.
- Not even the guest list.
(chuckles)
- Thank you, Annie.
- He is cute.
- Oh!
No touching, thank you!
This way.
- It's loose.
- This place is bananas.
Gargoyles are a nice touch.
- The Duke will be
with you shortly.
- Good-looking guy.
(camera snapping)
Smile for my mom, here.
(camera snapping)
So, uh...
you in a relationship?
- I beg your pardon?
- No, you don't have to say
anything, I'm good at this.
He's of fine stock,
with a name like...
Nigel, or Basil, and when
he's not on the polo field
or out yachting about,
he's driving his Jaguar.
Am I right?
- Hm. Wait here.
And please,
don't touch anything.
- I won't touch anything.
(soft music)
En garde!
Tchink, tchink,
I'll get you now.
Gah! Ugh! Yah!
No. No!
Aaaaah!! Ahaha!
Sorry.
(rattling)
(loud crashing)
- Well.
- Hi.
- Jonathan, is it?
- Johnny.
And what do I call you?
- Your Grace is customary.
Or if you prefer,
William Charles Edward Henry,
Duke of Glasswick.
- Just rolls off the tongue,
doesn't it?
(sighs)
- Uh... shall we?
- Yeah, yeah.
- I hear you're
in the automobile industry.
- I'm a mechanic.
- I suppose the world
needs mechanics.
- Yeah, probably more
than dukes.
- Well, a title presents
its own challenges.
As you'll undoubtedly see.
- Oh, no, no, I'm not here
for the title.
- Well, you should know
that the title
is attached to the land,
and the land can't be sold.
So if it's money you're after,
I'm afraid you've come
for naught.
- That's why you think I'm here?
For money?
- I'd be remiss
if it didn't cross my mind.
- I don't want your money.
I don't want anything from you.
I just wanted to come here
and look at you face to face,
and ask you why you left.
And now having met you,
I don't think
I care anymore.
- Well.
That's that, I suppose.
- That's that.
- Does she still sing?
- What?
- Your mother.
She was quite talented.
- She gave it up.
To raise me.
(soft music)
(scoffs)
Snobby, judgmental,
condescending, arrogant,
self-centred, cold fish!
- I, uh... I take it
it didn't go well.
- I can't believe
I'm related to that guy.
- He'll warm up over time.
- Too bad I won't be here
to see it.
- So that's it?
You've come all this way
to just turn around and leave?
- I've seen enough.
- You haven't seen anything.
- I think we're done here.
- The future title of the duchy
is at stake here. Your title.
- Well, thanks for thinking
of me. But no thanks.
- You can't just decline
a dukeship.
You have to inherit it first,
then decline within a year.
- Thank you.
- Where are you going?
- The Pickled Pickle.
- You cannot stay at a pub.
- Why not?
- You're the Duke's son.
Which makes you a lord.
And heir.
- Well, maybe I'll just stay
at an Heirbnb!
- You may be the most
irritating, madding person
I've ever met.
- Same!
Jag-yoo-arh.
I knew it!
(laughter)
- Can you imagine someone like
that in a place like this?
There's a reason they're called
"commoners."
(soft guitar music)
- His blood's purer than yours.
(sighs)
(creaking doors)
- Phew...
You're beautiful.
But you need a bath.
(guitar music)
- There he is!
You son of a duke!
- That didn't last long.
- Right, lads? Pay up!
I told them you'd be booted out
within the hour.
- Word travels fast around here,
huh?
- Well, my girlfriend
works at the castle.
- So did the old crust give you
the royal small talk?
- The royal what?
- It's what they do when
they have nothing else to say.
- How are you finding
our fair village?
- I'm finding your fair
village quite lovely,
except for the occasional idiot.
- Oh, how desperate!
- It's like I'm at the castle!
(laughter)
(soft music)
(door closing)
- Have you seen a loud American
with tall hair?
- Johnny? He's over there.
- I really hope you know
what you're doing here.
- You're gonna hear it...
Right now, okay?
- Ahem.
I'd like a word, please.
- Yeah, okay.
Aw, thanks, Augie.
- Ice water, please.
- We are what we drink.
- I'll get right down to it.
The Duke's visit with you
was uncomfortable
and a bit shocking.
- I was there.
- He's instructed me to ask you
to stay through the week
and show you round.
At week's end,
you'll attend the ball.
(laughs)
- The ball?
Why?
- Your history's here.
Also, he'd like
to get to know you.
He would have told you himself
but he's not terribly good
with--
- Humans?
- Emotions.
But... I assure you
he does have them.
Thank you.
- How about you?
- Mm?
- You want me to stay?
- Oh, I have no opinion
on the matter.
Simply following his wishes.
- I'll pass.
- You can't pass on a personal
request from the Duke.
- What, is he gonna
have me beheaded?
(laughter)
- Beheading was outlawed
in the 16th century.
- Is he aware of that?
- Yeah. I assume with the amount
of time you appear to spend
in establishments
like this, you are somewhat
proficient at darts?
- Three-time reigning champion
at Steve's Bar. Not to brag.
- A wager, then.
You win, you can leave.
I win, you stay.
- Okay...
But if I win,
you get up in front
of all these people
and you sing the karaoke song
of my choice.
(coins clinking)
(rock music)
- He fixed it!
(applause and laughter)
(indistinct chatter)
- You hiring, Augie?
You got a guy.
- You first.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Woo!
- Not bad at all.
- Okay.
(light, playful music)
- Oh!
- Very smooth!
I've never seen anything
like it!
- Undefeated champion
of Wymington Tri-Counties.
Jeffers will bring your things
to the castle.
- Well, that was... unexpected.
(crickets chirping)
- Where is everyone?
- In bed. It's past nine.
- Oooh, nine.
Well, I hope
I'm not keeping you up.
- I've had your things moved
to the Blue Room.
- Blue, no.
Blue's not really my colour.
(scoffs)
Maybe Blue is my colour.
No gargoyles?
- No, we had them removed.
- Did somebody iron my clothes?
- Be glad you weren't in them
at the time.
Good night.
- Good night.
(door closing)
- Whoo!
(soft music)
- Snooping, are we?
(sighs)
(laughing)
- It's called research.
- So? Is he duke material?
- Well, he says all
the wrong things,
he does all the wrong things.
- So, you like him?
- He reminds me of the boys
we knew when we were kids.
(laughter)
- Running round the village?
Oh, having fun.
- Yeah.
- Being a part of things.
I miss the old Pru.
- I kind of miss her, too.
- Tea?
- Yes! Perfect.
Thank you, Annie.
(knocking on door)
- Come in!
Hey, this old-school record
player thing wasn't working.
- Oh, sir, antique phonograph.
It's just for show.
- Just for show...
and for music.
(light music)
- I brought today's itinerary.
- Okay. Tour of the grounds,
hedge gardens, royal plaque.
Oh, leisure time,
one hour!
Exciting. Supper,
lesser dining room.
- And... wardrobe changes
are noted in red.
Jeffers will bring you a
selection of appropriate attire.
- Okay.
- Right.
- Right.
- I'll have the driver bring
the car around.
- Why don't we do the grounds
tour on those?
- Oh, those are bicycles.
Those are for--
- Fun?
- Well, yes, but fun is, uh...
not on the schedule.
- Hmm. It is today!
- Alright.
It all belongs
to the duchy.
17,000 acres, mostly farmland.
We have our own chapel
and cemetery.
- You never have to leave.
- The Duke's father,
your grandfather,
squandered what was left
of the family money.
Left him with
a mountain of debt.
He hasn't been able to turn
things round, I'm afraid.
I have to make a quick stop.
(bell chiming)
This is one of the estate's
oldest farms.
- Morning.
- Morning, Finchey.
For your new grandson.
- Thank you, Miss Prudence.
- This is Johnny.
- Ah, you must be
the Duke's boy. M'Lord.
- No, no, please.
Just... just Johnny.
- Finchey.
How are you getting on
with the old crust?
Oh, apologies!
- He's been called worse!
- Are those beets?
- You want to buy them?
'Cause no one else is.
- What's wrong with them?
- Naught.
Market's gone soft.
We'll probably just plow them
back under.
(cellphone ringing)
- Oh, excuse me.
- Any other vegetables in here?
- Hello?
- When's the last time
you used this?
- Could be a decade ago, now.
Used to be an apple orchard
on the grounds.
But we had a blight.
It's been years since the old
crust has been out here.
I'll say one thing about him,
though.
He's a right good landlord.
- Landlord?
- Most of us locals
have been tenants
on the Glasswick land for years.
His Grace doesn't charge
us a penny.
Never has.
- Really?
- Aye.
- During the Great Northern War,
the first Duke defended
the realm here.
The Glasswick ball was held
that very evening,
and every year since.
- Prudence!
I'd hoped that was you.
- Alistair.
- Still lingering, I see.
- The Duke has asked
that he stay on for the ball.
- And leaving after, I assume.
- Yeah, appetizer,
glass of punch and I'm gone.
- Well, then. I suppose we
should be properly introduced.
Alistair Covington-Breed
of Winshere, north of Devon.
- Johnny Payne, South Philly,
east of
Pat's Cheesesteak.
- How amusing.
Join me for a bout, won't you?
I'm sure Mr. Philadelphia
here can amuse himself.
- Yes, I'm afraid I can't
leave our guest unattended.
- Yeah, my usual babysitter's
unavailable.
- Well, you and I will have
plenty of time to parry
and counter-parry.
Fencing terminology
(laughter).
Cheerio!
(forced laugh)
- Cheerio!
- Dare I ask?
- He's your second cousin,
twice removed.
- Can he be totally removed?
(laughter)
- He's next in line, after you.
Come on, let's go for a walk.
I'll show you
the back acreage.
When I found out the Duke
had a son,
I thought, "Someone different!"
Don't bow out.
- What?
- The title.
At least consider it.
- So... I'm the lesser
of two evils.
(laughter)
- I would have worded it
differently!
- Well, I appreciate
your support, but...
I got a life back home.
And as you can see,
I don't exactly fit in here.
- Just worried about
what Alistair would do.
- Maybe he's not
as bad as you think.
- He was born with
a silver spoon in his mouth,
never worked a day
in his life.
- Says the lovely lady
who lives in a castle.
(laughter)
- I live in the castle
because my parents were
in service there.
Mum worked in the kitchen,
Dad was Head Footman.
Both died in a car crash
when I was eight.
- I'm sorry.
- The Duke took me in.
Sent me to fancy schools,
Oxford for uni. Took care of me.
- Like a dad?
- I suppose so.
First, I just wanted to fit in,
then over time I...
suppose I just became
this other person.
It was easier to have people
look up to me than down on me.
- Why didn't they just look
at you?
- It's not like that here.
- I'm looking at you.
Not up at you. Not down on you.
Just at you.
- The hedgerows were originally
planted by the fourth Duchess.
(soft music)
(indistinct chatter)
Our guests for the weekend.
Lord and Lady Quince,
along with Lady Cordelia
and her husband Archibald.
May I present Johnny Payne?
- Nice to meet you all.
- We look forward
to getting to know you.
- You say that now!
(laughter)
- I have a brilliant idea.
An afternoon ride.
How about it, cousin?
A little trot on the fields?
- Oh, perhaps another time.
- Ah. Could it be the next Duke
doesn't ride?
(light laughter)
Well, it is a rugged sport.
Perhaps something
a little more genteel.
Croquet.
Or a light game of badminton.
(laughter)
- Nah.
Let's do the horse thing.
- "The horse thing!"
(laughter)
Excellent.
(laughter continues)
Prudence, I trust that
you'll join us as well.
- Of course.
- Well, come along.
- Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
- You know,
you don't have to do this.
- I kind of think I do.
- Alright. Follow me.
- Oh wow.
Hey.
(horse snorts)
- This is Triscuit.
Beautiful, isn't he?
- Hey, Triscuit, go easy on me,
okay?
- Oh, you won't be riding him.
Alistair will be riding
Triscuit.
This is your horse.
Her name is Creampuff.
She's our gentlest,
and quite good with children.
- Creampuff.
Great.
- There he is.
And what is
your little horse's name?
- Rambo.
(neighing)
Sometimes he goes by Creampuff.
- Shall we?
(smacks lips)
Come on, boy.
Come on! Come on.
Here we go, Triscuit.
Let's go boy.
(orchestral theme music)
(soft music)
- Not bad.
- Indeed.
You haven't completely
embarrassed yourself.
- Well, I try.
- Well. Let's up the ante
and have ourselves
a little fun, shall we?
Come on, Triscuit! Come on, boy.
(up tempo music)
Yes, good. Good.
- Thank you.
- Now let's really go for it,
old chap.
Come on. Come on, boy, come on.
(Triscuit neighs)
Whoa!
- Let's go! Come on!
What are you doing, Triscuit?
(intense music)
Whoa! Whoa! Stop boy!
(both grunting)
(horse whinnies)
(light applause)
- Well done, Johnny, old chap.
(sighs)
- Alistair, where are you going?
- I'm walking back,
thank you very much!
(grunts)
- How'd you pull that off?
- Mechanical bull-riding champ.
Steve's Bar & Grill.
Undefeated.
Phew!
I call this my Power Blend.
- Alright.
- Mm-hmm.
- Alright! Moment of truth.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Delish! And I don't even
like beets.
- It helps blood flow,
improves stamina,
and most importantly,
cures hangovers!
- Oh well, you should make
some for the pub, then.
- Hello, you big eejit!
- Hello!
- Try.
- Mmm...
- What's going on in here?
- Introducing them
to the benefits
of healthy juicing.
- Hmm.
- There was a gap
in my itinerary.
- Okay, back to work
everybody.
Eh!
- Save some for the lady,
come on. Come on!
- Ah...
Perhaps later,
first things first.
We need to go over
the details for tonight.
We'll, uh... we'll convene
in the grand room
at quarter past six.
Upon the Duke's arrival,
we'll enter
the lesser dining room.
No one sits till the Duke sits.
Once seated,
no one eats till the Duke eats.
Once the Duke has taken his last
bite, we will also stop eating.
- What if I'm still hungry?
- I don't believe
you'll be wanting anymore.
We're serving jellied eel.
- And people like that?
- Generally... not.
Down the hatch.
- Okay.
(laughter)
- That is rather good!
- And... it reduces stress!
Which I think
I'm contributing to.
- Um, yes! Just a bit.
Bottoms up!
(laughing)
- Your clothes
for the evening, sir.
- Well, look at this, huh?
Thank you, Jeffers.
- We don't take tips here, sir.
- Nobody needs to know.
And you do not need
to call me sir.
- I'm afraid I must, sir.
Thank you, sir.
In case it should be
of interest, not that it would,
but Mr. Covington-Breed wears
two-inch lifts in his shoes.
- And here I thought he was
talking down to me.
(chuckling)
(soft music)
- I must say,
you don't look terrible.
- And you most definitely
do not look terrible.
- Thank you.
- Am I wrong, or is this
your,
your fourth wardrobe
change for today?
- I'm not sure,
I've lost count.
- You know, this...
this almost feels like a date.
- Almost.
(orchestral music)
- Ladies and gentlemen,
as tradition dictates,
our dinner begins
with jellied eel.
- Bon apptit.
(cutlery clinking)
(rattling)
- Have one of mine.
It hasn't been on the floor.
(laughter)
- How thoughtful, cousin.
But I got options.
- Anyone read
any good books recently?
- Mother recently published,
didn't you?
- Yes.
"10 things to do
with a napkin ring."
- I can think of 11.
(laughter)
(forced laugh)
- You know, I just read
a fascinating article
about how certain people
use humour
to mask feelings
of inferiority.
- Hey, I'm just a guy,
sitting in front of an eel,
wishing it was a donut.
(laughter)
- Well, in the words
of the bard,
I challenge you
to a duel of wits,
but I see you're unarmed.
(laughter)
- In the words of a cabbie
from South Philly,
why don't you go take
a flying--
- Has anybody... I've heard,
it's very good,
the new exhibit at the Tate?
- Remind us, what is it
your people do, again?
- My people?
Well, my mom was a waitress,
and I'm in the automobile
industry.
- He's a mechanic.
And a rather good one,
so I've heard.
- How refreshing
to have a trade.
Can't you see my glass
is empty?
To the duchy.
Your Grace,
it is my honour to follow in
your capable footsteps.
(sighs)
- Since you're being
so honourable,
you can get in line
behind me.
I've had a change of heart.
(gasps,
indistinct whispering)
I'm in.
(soft music)
- Well, then.
To my son and heir.
The next Duke of Glasswick!
(all): The next
Duke of Glasswick!
(soft music)
(soft music)
- Your Grace,
how can you allow this?
He'll shame the dukedom.
Alistair's been groomed
for this.
- As you know,
the succession is by bloodline.
- Certainly,
you can discourage him.
- Seems he has
a mind of his own.
- Your Grace, rest assured
we will support the future Duke
in any way we can.
Come along, Mother.
(chuckles softly)
- Don't tell me
you're capitulating.
- Quite the opposite.
I assure you that philistine
from Philly
will be back under a car
before the week is up.
(line ringing)
- C'mon, pick up.
- It's Dottie.
Leave a message.
(beep!)
- Ma. You know how
you always say when I put
my mind to it,
I can achieve anything?
Well, I think I might have
taken it a step too far.
Call me!
- To one of our own!
- The future
Duke of Glasswick!
(joyous laughter)
- Put 'er there, pal.
- Thank you! Thanks, Hugh.
Ha ha! Thanks. Hey! Thank you.
Thank you. Thanks, Augie.
- Nice one, sir.
(sighs loudly)
(indistinct chatter)
(Prudence sighs)
- Ice water?
- A pint, please?
(exhales)
Cheers.
To the future!
- To the future.
What did I do?
- I'm not quite sure.
- It's not just
a commitment.
It's a lifetime commitment.
You know, it's your fault.
- What?
- Yeah. Why'd you have
to walk into that bar?
- Same reason I walked
into this one,
it's where you always are.
- That's true.
(chuckles)
- Of course, I have
to polish you up for the ball.
How attached
are you to your name?
- What?
- Johnny.
It's a bit informal.
Lord John may be better.
Or Lord Jonathan.
- Or Johnny.
After Johnny Cash.
His song was playing on
the radio when my mom was taking
me home from the hospital.
- That is rather sweet.
(Johnny sighs)
Look.
I don't expect you to change
overnight.
It's...
you just need to pretend.
Walk like a duke,
talk like a duke,
and people will see a duke.
- Kind of like what you do.
- This isn't about me.
(piano music)
- Johnny!
Get yourself over here,
this one's for you. Come on.
(piano music)
- Coming, coming!
Well we all know
A duke with some class
- We do.
The old crust we call him
just for laughs
He discovered an heir
with very tall hair
Who now owns the wrench
and the brass
Give it a go, Annie, come on!
Well?
There was a young man
from Philly
- Great city!
Whose accent sounded
quite silly
- Really?
He's a mighty fine bloke
Who can fix all that's broke
And I hope he stays on
quite sincerely
- Well done, very nice!
- Alright Hugh, keep it going.
- Alright!
(clears throat)
- Okay.
Now it's true
that I am from far away
But you made me
feel welcome each day
Now with fine friends
like these
I may never leave
And I've more
than one reason to stay
- Very nice, very nice!
Let's hear it for Johnny,
everyone!
(applause)
- Let's hear it for Hugh,
everyone! The duke!
(thrilling music)
(groans)
(grunting)
- Couldn't sleep?
- I've got a couple
of things on my mind.
- I can imagine.
Do you know what you're doing?
- Yeah. Yeah, I know my way
around an engine.
- I meant
what you agreed to tonight.
- That...
I have absolutely
no idea.
(short laugh)
- I didn't either
when I took the title.
- I thought you were born to it.
- I was... quite
a different man back then.
Ancient history, I suppose.
Do you think you can get her
running again?
- I haven't met a car
I couldn't.
- Oh.
- Can you pass me
the socket wrench?
Long handle, round head.
I'm guessing you haven't worked
on many cars.
- That would have meant
getting my hands dirty.
- Can you put your finger
right there?
- Mm...
- Yeah. I'm going to need
the needle-nose pliers.
(mumbling): Needle-nose pliers.
- That's close enough.
(violin music)
- Relax.
- Okay.
- But then, this arm up.
Up, okay. Okay.
- Okay, alright. Up. Up!
- Okay. Good?
- I think so.
- Okay. You'll be good.
Ready?
- Yes, yes. I'm ready.
- Okay.
I hear the Duke had engine
grease on his shoes
this morning.
- We nicked an oil line.
- Oh...
You'll be meeting
the 7th Count of Cavendish,
the 4th Count of Dorset,
and the 14th Count
of Ross-Shire.
- I've lost count.
(sighs)
- These are people
you'll be expected to know.
(shouts)
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
You okay?
(sighs)
- Like that,
except the exact opposite.
- Can we take a break?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
(laughter)
- So? Hugh told me
he's been invited to the ball!
Oooh!
Thank you, Pru!
You don't know how much
this means to us.
- Okay. Okay, I might
have invited Hugh.
What harm could it be, right?
- Thank you!
Bye!
- I might've also
invited Finchey.
And his wife.
- Ah! Gee.
- They're lending us
the beet press and all.
And Finchey says there's tons of
wasted beets produced each year,
apples on the south orchard.
Who knows, if this thing
takes off,
the farmlands could make
some real money.
- I must say,
I'm rather surprised.
- Do you...
not like this idea?
- No, I...
I think it's wonderful.
- Good.
- You should probably
tell me these things,
if I'm to be your advisor
one day.
- Are you?
- It does seem
an impossible job.
But I do like a challenge.
Speaking of...
Ahem.
(violin music)
One, two, three.
Up, up, up.
(soft exhale)
(soft breathing)
(indistinct murmuring)
(sighs)
(mumbling)
- We... we were--
- That chair, that's--
- Yup, that's, uh... that's
the problem chair right here,
I just have to be aware of
that, it's too close--
- Too close, I think
we were too close.
(phone ringing)
- Hey, Ma.
- Tell me everything!
- I think he's a little
different than what we thought.
- So, the Billy
I knew is in there.
- He is.
- Aww.
Aw...
Look at that.
She has a kind face.
- I thought we were talking
about Billy.
- We're talking
about relationships, yours.
I can see by the photos,
you like her.
- Mom.
- Just don't do
what you always do.
Give her a chance?
(soft music)
- Pass the socket wrench?
(socket wrench clicking)
Can I ask you something?
- Of course.
(sighs)
- We never really...
talked about her.
- Yes.
I'm aware.
- Did you ever really love her?
- More than anything.
I can still picture the first
time I saw her...
singing.
She was wearing
a long red dress,
flower in her hair.
I sat in that bar for a week,
just plucking up the courage
to talk to her.
Happiest days of my life.
But my family couldn't accept
my marrying a... commoner.
So I came back here,
out of duty,
and let them make me
into this.
And then, all thoughts of your
mother were just a dream.
- You abandoned her.
- That was weak.
- You abandoned me.
- Huh?
- No, no, no.
I never knew about you.
- She wrote you letters.
You never answered.
- I never got them.
And I assume
she'd never got mine.
No doubt my father saw to that.
Well, that's that, I suppose.
- That's that? Aren't you angry?
Don't you feel anything?
- Did you have a good childhood?
- I had everything.
- Except a father.
I'm sorry, Johnny.
I missed out on so much.
- We both did.
(socket wrench clicking)
Okay.
Get on in.
(chuckles)
Alright.
Okay. Start 'er up.
(engine struggling)
Pump the gas a little.
(car starting)
(chuckles)
(laughter)
(engine revving)
(soft music)
(suspenseful music)
- And may I introduce
Alistair Covington-Breed,
Duke of Glasswick.
(soft music)
(birdsong)
- Your Grace!
You forgot your cane.
- I don't think I shall be
needing that anymore, Jeffers.
- Delighted to hear it, sir.
(car starting)
(soul music)
- Did you go riding
with your dad like this?
- Oh. Most of my childhood
was spent in boarding schools.
Only saw my father
on high holidays.
It's nice having you here.
- You mean, it's nice
having a mechanic around.
- No.
I meant,
it's nice having you around.
(soul music)
- You know, I've been working on
a little something.
I can't wait for you to see it.
- Jeffery, you spin it.
Come on, put some muscle
into it, you!
- What's going on,
everyone?
- Johnny!
- You see?
- Why, quite impressive!
- We got a whole juice
operation.
- Your Grace!
- Don't you mean
the old crust?
(light chuckles)
- You, uh... you knew?
- Of course!
And I don't disagree.
(chuckles)
Finchey.
- Sir.
- As you know,
tonight is the 312th
Royal Glasswick Ball.
And, as such, I'd like
to extend an invitation
to all of you.
Your, friends,
family, neighbours.
Spread the word!
- Well...
to the old crust!
- The old crust!
(laughter)
- Your Grace!
You're not answering
your phone.
Alistair is requesting
a meeting.
- I'm a bit busy here.
- He says it's urgent.
(sigh)
- Have you got a name
for this enterprise yet?
- Um, we've been kicking around
a few.
Prudence.
- Mmm?
- You got any ideas?
- Oh. Maybe.
What about...
Common Ground Juice?
- I don't think
we can beat that.
(laughter)
- Well, what do you say?
Common Ground Juice?
(chuckles)
(everyone): Common Ground!
- What's this urgent
matter about, then?
- Alistair has uncovered
some important information.
- Apparently, in her zeal
to anoint Mr. Payne,
your trusted advisor failed
to notice something.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, it seems your heir
was born
after your marriage
to his mother was annulled.
Thus, his claim to the title
is illegitimate.
You can hang around
The Pickled Pickle
if you choose.
But there's no future for you
in this castle.
- Touch.
It's a fencing term.
Well, at least we got
the car running.
(dramatic music)
Heh.
- Johnny!
- I should never have let myself
get swept up in this.
Castles, titles, jellied eels.
I came here to meet my father
and I did,
and I guess that's all
there was meant to be.
- Things have changed now.
- People don't change,
Prudence.
I don't belong here.
- That's not true.
You can't just leave.
What about us?
Oh...
She was right all along.
- She?
- The girl at the bar.
Said you'd find a way
to end things,
and fix a car
on the way out.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
(sad music)
- You heard already.
- Need you ask?
I am sorry, mate.
I still say you would've made
a right brilliant duke.
- Yeah, well, you spend
too much time in a pub!
(laughing)
- That is true.
- Chin up, eh?
- Yeah, you'll be alright.
- Jeffers?
- I packed up your things.
May I say it's going to be very
dull at the castle without you.
First round's on me.
- No, Jeffers,
it's not necessary.
- Actually it's on you,
I'm using your tip.
(laughter)
- I can see why you'd want
to leave this pack of eejits.
But what about Prudence?
- Pretty sure that wasn't
going anywhere anyway.
- Ey. That's rubbish!
- I quite agree.
- Don't you have a ball
to get ready for?
- We're not going.
Who wants to be around a bunch
of stiffs, anyway?
- Hey...
Friends.
- Friends.
- Friends.
(soft music)
(sighs)
- You okay?
- Yeah.
This was meant to turn out
differently.
- It almost did.
- I suppose different
wasn't meant to be.
Well, back to the way
things have always been done.
- So is that
what you're going to do, too?
- It's who I am, isn't it?
(sighs)
Well. Aren't you supposed to be
getting ready for the ball?
- I'm not going.
None of us are.
Not without Johnny.
- That's not right.
Uh...
- What is it?
- I... I... I, uh...
I need to see the Duke.
(soft, inspiring music)
- You ever change your tie,
Jeffers?
- Only on Sunday.
(laughter)
(door closing)
- You agreed to stay
through the ball.
A bet's a bet.
- Can I owe you one?
- No. You need to finish
what you started here,
and you started a lot.
You invited the village
inside those walls
for the first time
in 312 years.
You need to be there with them.
Besides, if you don't go,
who am I supposed to dance with?
- Prudence.
- You think people can't change.
Well, I disagree.
(violin music)
(violin music)
- Lord Tisbury.
How do you do?
Lovely to see you.
Lord Cavendish,
looking well.
La...
Dottie!
- Billy!
- I haven't been called that
for years!
- What do they call you?
- The old crust!
(laughter)
- You're looking lovelier
than the day we met.
- Oh!
(laughter)
- Alistair, Elena,
this is Dorothy Payne.
Dottie, these are
two of the biggest snobs
you'll ever meet.
Come along,
I'll introduce you to some more.
(chuckling)
- Ugh, what now?
Heavens above.
- Let them have
their fun.
This will all end
soon enough.
(violin music)
(laughing)
- Well, I never thought
I'd see this.
- Me neither.
Ma?
- Doll face!
Ahh! Oh, my!
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, look at you!
- Look at you!
- Well, Billy got me
a ticket out, first class!
- So sorry, this is--
- Well, it's Prudence?
I feel like I know you already.
- Oh Mrs. Payne,
it is so lovely to meet you.
- Please honey,
call me Dottie.
- Dottie. Dottie,
lovely to meet you.
- If I can have everyone's
attention.
As I'm sure you know,
I'm not exactly known
for expressing emotions.
(light laughter)
But I'm going to give it a go.
This past week has brought new
life to these old bones.
Maybe it's the beet
root juice.
(laughter)
Or driving a car I once loved.
Or communing with the good
people of Glasswick again.
It seems to me I have
been given a second chance...
to get to know my son.
Who has reminded me
of the man I once was,
when anything seemed possible.
Originally I was going
to use this occasion
to discuss my declining health.
But now I say, shut the doors
of the graveyard!
(laughter)
Because I have much yet
to accomplish.
This time, with the people
of Glasswick alongside me.
- Hey!
(applause)
- And when my time is through,
I hope that Johnny
will be ready to succeed me.
Because I think he will make
an uncommonly good duke.
- Your Grace is
obviously confused.
- Actually, I've never been
more clear.
- What are you talking about?
- Many years ago,
I married the love of my life.
But I didn't stand up for her.
For us.
Which I regret to this day.
When I received the papers
annulling our marriage,
I was heartbroken.
Too heartbroken
to sign them.
- Your signature is on them.
- Well, I'll let my advisor
speak to that.
Prudence?
- The Duke is left-handed.
His signature leaves an ink
smudge as his hand crosses
the page.
The signature on the annulment
is forged.
Most likely
by the Duke's father.
Rendering it invalid.
In fact, it is quite possible
that His Grace and
Dottie Payne are still married.
(indistinct chatter)
- Duke William!
Long live the Duke!
(applause)
(Alistair): No, no, no!
No, no!
This won't stand.
- Feel free to authenticate it
with my solicitor.
She's waiting for you
by the door.
On your way out.
- Darling.
- Don't touch me, Mother!
- Darling!
(chuckles)
- Well, that's that.
(soft piano music)
- Not quite.
When's the last time
you hugged someone?
- 1989!
(laughter)
- Speech, Johnny. Speech!
- Speech.
- Speech, um...
(nervous sigh)
Your Grace.
Dad.
You've got a lot of living
to do.
And I...
have a few things to live down.
(laughter)
And more than a lot to learn.
But I got some promises
to keep. That's right.
The boys and I, we're gonna
start a juice company.
- That's right!
(cheering)
- And we're gonna make that
farmland self-supporting again
and make the dutchie
profitable.
But before any of that,
I just want to dance
with the prettiest girl
in the kingdom.
(violin music)
(hushed chatter)
(woman squeals)
(indistinct chatter)
(insects chirring)
Lifetime commitment, huh?
- Nervous?
- Actually...
(intense music)
I can't wait.
(soft music)
(music swells)
(laughter)
- Hi!
- Oh, hey, Dad.
Is it tea time already?
Turns out I love tea time.
- Triscuit seems to like you.
- That is because he's been
bribing him with beets.
- I don't think so.
- Didn't you say that horses are
excellent judges of character?
- Perhaps...
- This beauty's going to be
leaving us soon.
- That is Triscuit's son,
Biscuit.
- And where is Biscuit going?
- Your cousin Henry is in love
with an American girl.
He's going to give her Biscuit
as a present.
- Wait a second,
I got another cousin?
Is he nicer than the other one?
- My dear boy,
you have many cousins!
Actually,
you have one called Desmond,
who's about to marry a girl
over a castle.
- Is that anywhere near here?
- Have you heard
of the Kingdom of Androvia?
- Of course I have. Who hasn't?
- Come on.
Let's go to the library
and I'll educate you on our
rather complicated family tree.
- Guess I'm a new leaf
on an old branch.
- Well, I'll be getting
the leaf blower.
(chuckles)
(laughter)
(soft music)
(soft music)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
- We'll get you running
in no time at all.
- How come you don't talk to me
like that?
- I don't?
- Do you know how long
we've been going out?
- Uh...
- Three months.
- That long?
(sighs)
- We need to talk.
(soft music)
- What exactly are we?
- We're two people...
who like each other.
A lot.
- I need to know you're ready
to take our relationship
to the next level.
- Or... We could...
we could keep it at
the current level.
The current level's nice.
(sighs)
- I knew it.
- Look, um...
I'm just not quite there yet.
- You're a sweet guy, Johnny,
but...
I need someone
who can commit.
(sighs)
(door closing)
(engine clicking sound)
- Pop the hood.
(clicking)
Start 'er up.
(car starting sound)
(soft music)
- Johnny!
- Steve!
How's my power blend selling?
- They're not.
I agreed to this little hobby
of yours, but this is a bar.
Nobody wants juice. Well,
except Ms. B over here.
- It's delicious.
And it fixed my headache.
- See? She gets it.
- Speaking of fixing...
Do you know anything
about toaster ovens?
- Come on. Give me a day.
- Thanks.
(soft music)
- Hello.
I know it's your first day,
but we don't wear black
at the castle.
Black is for mourning
and funerals. Protocol.
- So sorry, Miss.
- White jackets in pantry #2.
Michelle, could you help her
please?
- Annie. The ball is
in eight days,
I need
everything to be perfect.
- And it will be.
- Oh, make sure the napkins
all have a crisp edge.
- Like overcooked bacon.
- But not.
(laughter)
At noon, you meet with
the bishop.
Statue dedication at two,
tea at four
with the Gloucester committee.
Oh, and you need to finalize
your speech for the ball.
Also, I hate to bring it up
again, but...
The taxes are a bit overdue.
(sighs)
Are you alright, your Grace?
- I'm tired, Prudence.
Of all of it.
These endless duties
and obligations.
I'm not getting any younger.
It's time we started preparing
for the inevitable
and sorted out
my succession plans.
- Your Grace?
- As you know,
with no direct heir,
the title will pass
to my closest relative.
Please send
for my cousin Alistair.
- I'm sure he's waiting
patiently by the phone.
(drops book)
- You don't approve?
- He's a title chaser.
Also, I've seen him play polo.
His horse threw him. Twice.
Horses are an excellent judge
of character.
- Surely you can't judge a man
by that.
- Mmm...
- At any rate, I've never really
connected with the people here.
If there's any way to save
this place, it's with new blood.
- Alistair Covington-Breed
is hardly new blood.
- Well, perhaps
he'll surprise us. At any rate,
I've made up my mind.
Please begin putting my affairs
in order.
- As you wish, your Grace.
(soft music)
(sighs)
Marriage?
(papers shuffling)
Marriage certificate.
(scoffs)
(up tempo music)
Your Grace!
I'm not quite sure how to say
this, but prepare to be...
surprised
isn't quite the word.
- What is the word?
- Gobsmacked!
(intense music)
- Alright everybody,
we know what night it is.
It's karaoke night!
(cheering)
And first up, coming to
the stage, we got Johnny Payne!
- Oh really? No!
- Come on Johnny, get up here!
(applause)
- Thanks, Steve.
- Let's go!
- Oh!
And now.
For the moment absolutely
nobody has been waiting for!
(laughter)
We ready for this?
( Born To Be Wild
by Steppenwolf)
Whoo!
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah darlin'
gonna make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born,
born to be wild
Gonna fly so high
Never gonna die
Born to be Wild
- Yeah, come on!
Born to be Wild
(applause)
(clears throat)
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Your landlord said
I might find you here.
- Well, here I am.
- Prudence Thorpe.
- Johnny Payne.
- Your hair is quite... tall.
- Thanks? I grew it myself.
You're not a process server,
are you, because I returned
those library books.
- I'm advisor to William,
Duke of Glasswick.
- Oh... Oh, that's a...
that's a new one.
- He's requesting your presence
at Glasswick Castle,
south of York.
- York.
- England.
- Great. Well, you know what?
Tell him I'll be there,
right after I meet with the King
of Hearts and Mr. Potato Head.
(car horn sound)
Just one second.
- Alright, everybody, next up.
We got Melanie.
- Ma. Can I call you back?
Yeah, I love you too.
Okay, yeah, I'll call you back.
- Time is of the essence here.
(soft rock song
in the background)
- Wow, you're really taking
this all the way, aren't you?
- I assure you,
I'm quite serious.
- Hm. Yes, you are.
So why would this duke
of wherever want to see me?
- Is there somewhere a little
more private we can talk?
- Yeah.
I think the music was a
little too loud,
but I could've sworn
I heard you say something crazy,
like a duke wanted to see me?
- Indeed. It seems you are
next in line to succeed him.
- What?
- Yeah.
The duke.
He's your father.
- No, thanks.
- That's, uh... that's all
you have to say?
- You can ask my father,
whoever he is,
where's he been
the last 38 years of my life?
And you can tell him
some other things, too.
- Don't bother. He can't commit.
Oh, he'll wait for you
to break up with him,
and fix your car on the way out.
- So you shan't be
coming, then?
- I shan't not.
- It's rather disappointing.
I was hoping that perhaps,
oh, never mind.
I will inform the duke.
Good day.
(footsteps)
- You forgot this!
(soft music)
- Hey Ma!
- Oh, Doll face!
- Hey...
- What's wrong?
- You won't believe this. Uh...
Some snoot with an English
accent walked into Steve's.
Apparently, good ol' Dad
wants to meet me.
Or rather,
I'm being summoned.
- Oh dear.
- I guess we never really talked
about him.
- I tried.
- Yeah.
I just didn't want to hear
about some clown who ran out
on us.
- It wasn't quite like that,
not really.
(sighs)
Sit down.
He was on holiday.
And I was singing at a piano bar
downtown.
And he came in every night
for a week.
- But... you got married
after a week?
(chuckles)
- Three!
(laughter)
We eloped.
We were young. And foolish.
I knew he was
from some stuffy family,
but he said he wanted
to get away from all that.
- Apparently not.
- They pressed him to return.
And he did.
He chose them.
So, I annulled it.
Found out I was pregnant,
and I sent him a letter
to let him know.
But I never heard back.
I decided right then and
there it was going to be
you and me.
- You know,
you were the best two parents
any kid could ask for.
- Meet him.
Mm? Go there.
(sighs)
- Why?
- See this part of yourself,
even if it's a small part.
- Yeah, maybe I will.
Just so I can look him in
the eye
and tell him that we turned out
just fine without him.
Check this out.
First-class ticket.
- Oh, what?
- Yeah.
(folk music)
- First time in our village?
- First time out of the States.
- Oh. What business have you got
at the castle?
- I'm seeing the Duke.
- The old crust?
(laughter)
Sure you are.
And what are you gonna say
to him?
- Hi, Dad?
(laughter)
- Oh, that is a good one, mate!
"Hi, Dad!"
(laughter)
(folk music)
Ayup. There's my castle.
Best grog in town.
- I might need a grog or two
after this.
- Good afternoon.
- Prudence.
Delightful
to see you again.
- You also.
- How good to be back
in the duchy again!
- I trust you're finding
your rooms to be adequate.
- Mine's a bit small.
I prefer the East Wing,
where I usually stay.
- Oh, that's closed off now,
Lady Elena.
- Alistair,
that should be remedied.
- Of course, Mother.
And I'm hoping that when
the time comes
that Prudence will stay on
as my advisor.
- Ah, yes.
(soft music)
- Holy guacamole!
- She's a beaut, isn't she?
She used to be worth
something once.
Not anymore.
I hear there's more debts
than rooms in this place.
You want me to wait? It won't be
long before they boot you out.
(laughter)
- It's okay.
- Give my regards
to the old crust.
- Will do.
- Welcome back.
Cousin Alistair.
- Your Grace.
- Lady Elena.
- Your Grace.
- Thank you for coming
at such short notice.
I trust you'll stay on
for the ball at the weekend?
- We wouldn't miss it
for all the tea in China!
(laughter)
- As Prudence has explained,
I've decided to start
the process
of handing over my duties
and passing on the duchy
to its rightful heir.
- Yes.
- Who, as I'm sure you know,
is...
(car horn sound)
- Ma. Yeah, I made it.
- Good Lord. What is that?
- It's a... castle.
- That is
the next Duke of Glasswick.
- What?
(soft suspenseful music)
- How you doin'?
I'm Johnny.
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Phew!
(whistles)
(Johnny chuckles)
- May I take your luggage, sir?
- Oh, it's good,
I'll hang onto it. Thank you.
- I assure you,
I'll guard it with my life.
- Thank you, Jeffers.
As you might imagine,
we weren't expecting you.
- You invited me!
- And here you are!
- Where's he?
- His Grace will be with you
shortly.
Perhaps you'd like to change.
- Into someone else?
- We do have a dress code, so...
our footmen can bring you
a jacket and tie.
- Well, then, I wouldn't look
like me.
- So you shan't be
changing clothes, then?
- I shan't not.
(chuckles)
- Oh, please
don't touch anything.
- Well, maybe I'll just...
have a look around.
- We can't have you wandering
about, getting lost.
Follow me.
Glasswick Castle has
three wings,
67 rooms, a library,
drawing room, sitting room,
dining room
and lesser dining room.
(soft piano music)
This is the grand ballroom.
- You throwing a party?
- The Glasswick Ball.
It's a time-honoured tradition.
Nothing has changed
in three centuries.
- Not even the guest list.
(chuckles)
- Thank you, Annie.
- He is cute.
- Oh!
No touching, thank you!
This way.
- It's loose.
- This place is bananas.
Gargoyles are a nice touch.
- The Duke will be
with you shortly.
- Good-looking guy.
(camera snapping)
Smile for my mom, here.
(camera snapping)
So, uh...
you in a relationship?
- I beg your pardon?
- No, you don't have to say
anything, I'm good at this.
He's of fine stock,
with a name like...
Nigel, or Basil, and when
he's not on the polo field
or out yachting about,
he's driving his Jaguar.
Am I right?
- Hm. Wait here.
And please,
don't touch anything.
- I won't touch anything.
(soft music)
En garde!
Tchink, tchink,
I'll get you now.
Gah! Ugh! Yah!
No. No!
Aaaaah!! Ahaha!
Sorry.
(rattling)
(loud crashing)
- Well.
- Hi.
- Jonathan, is it?
- Johnny.
And what do I call you?
- Your Grace is customary.
Or if you prefer,
William Charles Edward Henry,
Duke of Glasswick.
- Just rolls off the tongue,
doesn't it?
(sighs)
- Uh... shall we?
- Yeah, yeah.
- I hear you're
in the automobile industry.
- I'm a mechanic.
- I suppose the world
needs mechanics.
- Yeah, probably more
than dukes.
- Well, a title presents
its own challenges.
As you'll undoubtedly see.
- Oh, no, no, I'm not here
for the title.
- Well, you should know
that the title
is attached to the land,
and the land can't be sold.
So if it's money you're after,
I'm afraid you've come
for naught.
- That's why you think I'm here?
For money?
- I'd be remiss
if it didn't cross my mind.
- I don't want your money.
I don't want anything from you.
I just wanted to come here
and look at you face to face,
and ask you why you left.
And now having met you,
I don't think
I care anymore.
- Well.
That's that, I suppose.
- That's that.
- Does she still sing?
- What?
- Your mother.
She was quite talented.
- She gave it up.
To raise me.
(soft music)
(scoffs)
Snobby, judgmental,
condescending, arrogant,
self-centred, cold fish!
- I, uh... I take it
it didn't go well.
- I can't believe
I'm related to that guy.
- He'll warm up over time.
- Too bad I won't be here
to see it.
- So that's it?
You've come all this way
to just turn around and leave?
- I've seen enough.
- You haven't seen anything.
- I think we're done here.
- The future title of the duchy
is at stake here. Your title.
- Well, thanks for thinking
of me. But no thanks.
- You can't just decline
a dukeship.
You have to inherit it first,
then decline within a year.
- Thank you.
- Where are you going?
- The Pickled Pickle.
- You cannot stay at a pub.
- Why not?
- You're the Duke's son.
Which makes you a lord.
And heir.
- Well, maybe I'll just stay
at an Heirbnb!
- You may be the most
irritating, madding person
I've ever met.
- Same!
Jag-yoo-arh.
I knew it!
(laughter)
- Can you imagine someone like
that in a place like this?
There's a reason they're called
"commoners."
(soft guitar music)
- His blood's purer than yours.
(sighs)
(creaking doors)
- Phew...
You're beautiful.
But you need a bath.
(guitar music)
- There he is!
You son of a duke!
- That didn't last long.
- Right, lads? Pay up!
I told them you'd be booted out
within the hour.
- Word travels fast around here,
huh?
- Well, my girlfriend
works at the castle.
- So did the old crust give you
the royal small talk?
- The royal what?
- It's what they do when
they have nothing else to say.
- How are you finding
our fair village?
- I'm finding your fair
village quite lovely,
except for the occasional idiot.
- Oh, how desperate!
- It's like I'm at the castle!
(laughter)
(soft music)
(door closing)
- Have you seen a loud American
with tall hair?
- Johnny? He's over there.
- I really hope you know
what you're doing here.
- You're gonna hear it...
Right now, okay?
- Ahem.
I'd like a word, please.
- Yeah, okay.
Aw, thanks, Augie.
- Ice water, please.
- We are what we drink.
- I'll get right down to it.
The Duke's visit with you
was uncomfortable
and a bit shocking.
- I was there.
- He's instructed me to ask you
to stay through the week
and show you round.
At week's end,
you'll attend the ball.
(laughs)
- The ball?
Why?
- Your history's here.
Also, he'd like
to get to know you.
He would have told you himself
but he's not terribly good
with--
- Humans?
- Emotions.
But... I assure you
he does have them.
Thank you.
- How about you?
- Mm?
- You want me to stay?
- Oh, I have no opinion
on the matter.
Simply following his wishes.
- I'll pass.
- You can't pass on a personal
request from the Duke.
- What, is he gonna
have me beheaded?
(laughter)
- Beheading was outlawed
in the 16th century.
- Is he aware of that?
- Yeah. I assume with the amount
of time you appear to spend
in establishments
like this, you are somewhat
proficient at darts?
- Three-time reigning champion
at Steve's Bar. Not to brag.
- A wager, then.
You win, you can leave.
I win, you stay.
- Okay...
But if I win,
you get up in front
of all these people
and you sing the karaoke song
of my choice.
(coins clinking)
(rock music)
- He fixed it!
(applause and laughter)
(indistinct chatter)
- You hiring, Augie?
You got a guy.
- You first.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Woo!
- Not bad at all.
- Okay.
(light, playful music)
- Oh!
- Very smooth!
I've never seen anything
like it!
- Undefeated champion
of Wymington Tri-Counties.
Jeffers will bring your things
to the castle.
- Well, that was... unexpected.
(crickets chirping)
- Where is everyone?
- In bed. It's past nine.
- Oooh, nine.
Well, I hope
I'm not keeping you up.
- I've had your things moved
to the Blue Room.
- Blue, no.
Blue's not really my colour.
(scoffs)
Maybe Blue is my colour.
No gargoyles?
- No, we had them removed.
- Did somebody iron my clothes?
- Be glad you weren't in them
at the time.
Good night.
- Good night.
(door closing)
- Whoo!
(soft music)
- Snooping, are we?
(sighs)
(laughing)
- It's called research.
- So? Is he duke material?
- Well, he says all
the wrong things,
he does all the wrong things.
- So, you like him?
- He reminds me of the boys
we knew when we were kids.
(laughter)
- Running round the village?
Oh, having fun.
- Yeah.
- Being a part of things.
I miss the old Pru.
- I kind of miss her, too.
- Tea?
- Yes! Perfect.
Thank you, Annie.
(knocking on door)
- Come in!
Hey, this old-school record
player thing wasn't working.
- Oh, sir, antique phonograph.
It's just for show.
- Just for show...
and for music.
(light music)
- I brought today's itinerary.
- Okay. Tour of the grounds,
hedge gardens, royal plaque.
Oh, leisure time,
one hour!
Exciting. Supper,
lesser dining room.
- And... wardrobe changes
are noted in red.
Jeffers will bring you a
selection of appropriate attire.
- Okay.
- Right.
- Right.
- I'll have the driver bring
the car around.
- Why don't we do the grounds
tour on those?
- Oh, those are bicycles.
Those are for--
- Fun?
- Well, yes, but fun is, uh...
not on the schedule.
- Hmm. It is today!
- Alright.
It all belongs
to the duchy.
17,000 acres, mostly farmland.
We have our own chapel
and cemetery.
- You never have to leave.
- The Duke's father,
your grandfather,
squandered what was left
of the family money.
Left him with
a mountain of debt.
He hasn't been able to turn
things round, I'm afraid.
I have to make a quick stop.
(bell chiming)
This is one of the estate's
oldest farms.
- Morning.
- Morning, Finchey.
For your new grandson.
- Thank you, Miss Prudence.
- This is Johnny.
- Ah, you must be
the Duke's boy. M'Lord.
- No, no, please.
Just... just Johnny.
- Finchey.
How are you getting on
with the old crust?
Oh, apologies!
- He's been called worse!
- Are those beets?
- You want to buy them?
'Cause no one else is.
- What's wrong with them?
- Naught.
Market's gone soft.
We'll probably just plow them
back under.
(cellphone ringing)
- Oh, excuse me.
- Any other vegetables in here?
- Hello?
- When's the last time
you used this?
- Could be a decade ago, now.
Used to be an apple orchard
on the grounds.
But we had a blight.
It's been years since the old
crust has been out here.
I'll say one thing about him,
though.
He's a right good landlord.
- Landlord?
- Most of us locals
have been tenants
on the Glasswick land for years.
His Grace doesn't charge
us a penny.
Never has.
- Really?
- Aye.
- During the Great Northern War,
the first Duke defended
the realm here.
The Glasswick ball was held
that very evening,
and every year since.
- Prudence!
I'd hoped that was you.
- Alistair.
- Still lingering, I see.
- The Duke has asked
that he stay on for the ball.
- And leaving after, I assume.
- Yeah, appetizer,
glass of punch and I'm gone.
- Well, then. I suppose we
should be properly introduced.
Alistair Covington-Breed
of Winshere, north of Devon.
- Johnny Payne, South Philly,
east of
Pat's Cheesesteak.
- How amusing.
Join me for a bout, won't you?
I'm sure Mr. Philadelphia
here can amuse himself.
- Yes, I'm afraid I can't
leave our guest unattended.
- Yeah, my usual babysitter's
unavailable.
- Well, you and I will have
plenty of time to parry
and counter-parry.
Fencing terminology
(laughter).
Cheerio!
(forced laugh)
- Cheerio!
- Dare I ask?
- He's your second cousin,
twice removed.
- Can he be totally removed?
(laughter)
- He's next in line, after you.
Come on, let's go for a walk.
I'll show you
the back acreage.
When I found out the Duke
had a son,
I thought, "Someone different!"
Don't bow out.
- What?
- The title.
At least consider it.
- So... I'm the lesser
of two evils.
(laughter)
- I would have worded it
differently!
- Well, I appreciate
your support, but...
I got a life back home.
And as you can see,
I don't exactly fit in here.
- Just worried about
what Alistair would do.
- Maybe he's not
as bad as you think.
- He was born with
a silver spoon in his mouth,
never worked a day
in his life.
- Says the lovely lady
who lives in a castle.
(laughter)
- I live in the castle
because my parents were
in service there.
Mum worked in the kitchen,
Dad was Head Footman.
Both died in a car crash
when I was eight.
- I'm sorry.
- The Duke took me in.
Sent me to fancy schools,
Oxford for uni. Took care of me.
- Like a dad?
- I suppose so.
First, I just wanted to fit in,
then over time I...
suppose I just became
this other person.
It was easier to have people
look up to me than down on me.
- Why didn't they just look
at you?
- It's not like that here.
- I'm looking at you.
Not up at you. Not down on you.
Just at you.
- The hedgerows were originally
planted by the fourth Duchess.
(soft music)
(indistinct chatter)
Our guests for the weekend.
Lord and Lady Quince,
along with Lady Cordelia
and her husband Archibald.
May I present Johnny Payne?
- Nice to meet you all.
- We look forward
to getting to know you.
- You say that now!
(laughter)
- I have a brilliant idea.
An afternoon ride.
How about it, cousin?
A little trot on the fields?
- Oh, perhaps another time.
- Ah. Could it be the next Duke
doesn't ride?
(light laughter)
Well, it is a rugged sport.
Perhaps something
a little more genteel.
Croquet.
Or a light game of badminton.
(laughter)
- Nah.
Let's do the horse thing.
- "The horse thing!"
(laughter)
Excellent.
(laughter continues)
Prudence, I trust that
you'll join us as well.
- Of course.
- Well, come along.
- Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
- You know,
you don't have to do this.
- I kind of think I do.
- Alright. Follow me.
- Oh wow.
Hey.
(horse snorts)
- This is Triscuit.
Beautiful, isn't he?
- Hey, Triscuit, go easy on me,
okay?
- Oh, you won't be riding him.
Alistair will be riding
Triscuit.
This is your horse.
Her name is Creampuff.
She's our gentlest,
and quite good with children.
- Creampuff.
Great.
- There he is.
And what is
your little horse's name?
- Rambo.
(neighing)
Sometimes he goes by Creampuff.
- Shall we?
(smacks lips)
Come on, boy.
Come on! Come on.
Here we go, Triscuit.
Let's go boy.
(orchestral theme music)
(soft music)
- Not bad.
- Indeed.
You haven't completely
embarrassed yourself.
- Well, I try.
- Well. Let's up the ante
and have ourselves
a little fun, shall we?
Come on, Triscuit! Come on, boy.
(up tempo music)
Yes, good. Good.
- Thank you.
- Now let's really go for it,
old chap.
Come on. Come on, boy, come on.
(Triscuit neighs)
Whoa!
- Let's go! Come on!
What are you doing, Triscuit?
(intense music)
Whoa! Whoa! Stop boy!
(both grunting)
(horse whinnies)
(light applause)
- Well done, Johnny, old chap.
(sighs)
- Alistair, where are you going?
- I'm walking back,
thank you very much!
(grunts)
- How'd you pull that off?
- Mechanical bull-riding champ.
Steve's Bar & Grill.
Undefeated.
Phew!
I call this my Power Blend.
- Alright.
- Mm-hmm.
- Alright! Moment of truth.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Delish! And I don't even
like beets.
- It helps blood flow,
improves stamina,
and most importantly,
cures hangovers!
- Oh well, you should make
some for the pub, then.
- Hello, you big eejit!
- Hello!
- Try.
- Mmm...
- What's going on in here?
- Introducing them
to the benefits
of healthy juicing.
- Hmm.
- There was a gap
in my itinerary.
- Okay, back to work
everybody.
Eh!
- Save some for the lady,
come on. Come on!
- Ah...
Perhaps later,
first things first.
We need to go over
the details for tonight.
We'll, uh... we'll convene
in the grand room
at quarter past six.
Upon the Duke's arrival,
we'll enter
the lesser dining room.
No one sits till the Duke sits.
Once seated,
no one eats till the Duke eats.
Once the Duke has taken his last
bite, we will also stop eating.
- What if I'm still hungry?
- I don't believe
you'll be wanting anymore.
We're serving jellied eel.
- And people like that?
- Generally... not.
Down the hatch.
- Okay.
(laughter)
- That is rather good!
- And... it reduces stress!
Which I think
I'm contributing to.
- Um, yes! Just a bit.
Bottoms up!
(laughing)
- Your clothes
for the evening, sir.
- Well, look at this, huh?
Thank you, Jeffers.
- We don't take tips here, sir.
- Nobody needs to know.
And you do not need
to call me sir.
- I'm afraid I must, sir.
Thank you, sir.
In case it should be
of interest, not that it would,
but Mr. Covington-Breed wears
two-inch lifts in his shoes.
- And here I thought he was
talking down to me.
(chuckling)
(soft music)
- I must say,
you don't look terrible.
- And you most definitely
do not look terrible.
- Thank you.
- Am I wrong, or is this
your,
your fourth wardrobe
change for today?
- I'm not sure,
I've lost count.
- You know, this...
this almost feels like a date.
- Almost.
(orchestral music)
- Ladies and gentlemen,
as tradition dictates,
our dinner begins
with jellied eel.
- Bon apptit.
(cutlery clinking)
(rattling)
- Have one of mine.
It hasn't been on the floor.
(laughter)
- How thoughtful, cousin.
But I got options.
- Anyone read
any good books recently?
- Mother recently published,
didn't you?
- Yes.
"10 things to do
with a napkin ring."
- I can think of 11.
(laughter)
(forced laugh)
- You know, I just read
a fascinating article
about how certain people
use humour
to mask feelings
of inferiority.
- Hey, I'm just a guy,
sitting in front of an eel,
wishing it was a donut.
(laughter)
- Well, in the words
of the bard,
I challenge you
to a duel of wits,
but I see you're unarmed.
(laughter)
- In the words of a cabbie
from South Philly,
why don't you go take
a flying--
- Has anybody... I've heard,
it's very good,
the new exhibit at the Tate?
- Remind us, what is it
your people do, again?
- My people?
Well, my mom was a waitress,
and I'm in the automobile
industry.
- He's a mechanic.
And a rather good one,
so I've heard.
- How refreshing
to have a trade.
Can't you see my glass
is empty?
To the duchy.
Your Grace,
it is my honour to follow in
your capable footsteps.
(sighs)
- Since you're being
so honourable,
you can get in line
behind me.
I've had a change of heart.
(gasps,
indistinct whispering)
I'm in.
(soft music)
- Well, then.
To my son and heir.
The next Duke of Glasswick!
(all): The next
Duke of Glasswick!
(soft music)
(soft music)
- Your Grace,
how can you allow this?
He'll shame the dukedom.
Alistair's been groomed
for this.
- As you know,
the succession is by bloodline.
- Certainly,
you can discourage him.
- Seems he has
a mind of his own.
- Your Grace, rest assured
we will support the future Duke
in any way we can.
Come along, Mother.
(chuckles softly)
- Don't tell me
you're capitulating.
- Quite the opposite.
I assure you that philistine
from Philly
will be back under a car
before the week is up.
(line ringing)
- C'mon, pick up.
- It's Dottie.
Leave a message.
(beep!)
- Ma. You know how
you always say when I put
my mind to it,
I can achieve anything?
Well, I think I might have
taken it a step too far.
Call me!
- To one of our own!
- The future
Duke of Glasswick!
(joyous laughter)
- Put 'er there, pal.
- Thank you! Thanks, Hugh.
Ha ha! Thanks. Hey! Thank you.
Thank you. Thanks, Augie.
- Nice one, sir.
(sighs loudly)
(indistinct chatter)
(Prudence sighs)
- Ice water?
- A pint, please?
(exhales)
Cheers.
To the future!
- To the future.
What did I do?
- I'm not quite sure.
- It's not just
a commitment.
It's a lifetime commitment.
You know, it's your fault.
- What?
- Yeah. Why'd you have
to walk into that bar?
- Same reason I walked
into this one,
it's where you always are.
- That's true.
(chuckles)
- Of course, I have
to polish you up for the ball.
How attached
are you to your name?
- What?
- Johnny.
It's a bit informal.
Lord John may be better.
Or Lord Jonathan.
- Or Johnny.
After Johnny Cash.
His song was playing on
the radio when my mom was taking
me home from the hospital.
- That is rather sweet.
(Johnny sighs)
Look.
I don't expect you to change
overnight.
It's...
you just need to pretend.
Walk like a duke,
talk like a duke,
and people will see a duke.
- Kind of like what you do.
- This isn't about me.
(piano music)
- Johnny!
Get yourself over here,
this one's for you. Come on.
(piano music)
- Coming, coming!
Well we all know
A duke with some class
- We do.
The old crust we call him
just for laughs
He discovered an heir
with very tall hair
Who now owns the wrench
and the brass
Give it a go, Annie, come on!
Well?
There was a young man
from Philly
- Great city!
Whose accent sounded
quite silly
- Really?
He's a mighty fine bloke
Who can fix all that's broke
And I hope he stays on
quite sincerely
- Well done, very nice!
- Alright Hugh, keep it going.
- Alright!
(clears throat)
- Okay.
Now it's true
that I am from far away
But you made me
feel welcome each day
Now with fine friends
like these
I may never leave
And I've more
than one reason to stay
- Very nice, very nice!
Let's hear it for Johnny,
everyone!
(applause)
- Let's hear it for Hugh,
everyone! The duke!
(thrilling music)
(groans)
(grunting)
- Couldn't sleep?
- I've got a couple
of things on my mind.
- I can imagine.
Do you know what you're doing?
- Yeah. Yeah, I know my way
around an engine.
- I meant
what you agreed to tonight.
- That...
I have absolutely
no idea.
(short laugh)
- I didn't either
when I took the title.
- I thought you were born to it.
- I was... quite
a different man back then.
Ancient history, I suppose.
Do you think you can get her
running again?
- I haven't met a car
I couldn't.
- Oh.
- Can you pass me
the socket wrench?
Long handle, round head.
I'm guessing you haven't worked
on many cars.
- That would have meant
getting my hands dirty.
- Can you put your finger
right there?
- Mm...
- Yeah. I'm going to need
the needle-nose pliers.
(mumbling): Needle-nose pliers.
- That's close enough.
(violin music)
- Relax.
- Okay.
- But then, this arm up.
Up, okay. Okay.
- Okay, alright. Up. Up!
- Okay. Good?
- I think so.
- Okay. You'll be good.
Ready?
- Yes, yes. I'm ready.
- Okay.
I hear the Duke had engine
grease on his shoes
this morning.
- We nicked an oil line.
- Oh...
You'll be meeting
the 7th Count of Cavendish,
the 4th Count of Dorset,
and the 14th Count
of Ross-Shire.
- I've lost count.
(sighs)
- These are people
you'll be expected to know.
(shouts)
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
You okay?
(sighs)
- Like that,
except the exact opposite.
- Can we take a break?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
(laughter)
- So? Hugh told me
he's been invited to the ball!
Oooh!
Thank you, Pru!
You don't know how much
this means to us.
- Okay. Okay, I might
have invited Hugh.
What harm could it be, right?
- Thank you!
Bye!
- I might've also
invited Finchey.
And his wife.
- Ah! Gee.
- They're lending us
the beet press and all.
And Finchey says there's tons of
wasted beets produced each year,
apples on the south orchard.
Who knows, if this thing
takes off,
the farmlands could make
some real money.
- I must say,
I'm rather surprised.
- Do you...
not like this idea?
- No, I...
I think it's wonderful.
- Good.
- You should probably
tell me these things,
if I'm to be your advisor
one day.
- Are you?
- It does seem
an impossible job.
But I do like a challenge.
Speaking of...
Ahem.
(violin music)
One, two, three.
Up, up, up.
(soft exhale)
(soft breathing)
(indistinct murmuring)
(sighs)
(mumbling)
- We... we were--
- That chair, that's--
- Yup, that's, uh... that's
the problem chair right here,
I just have to be aware of
that, it's too close--
- Too close, I think
we were too close.
(phone ringing)
- Hey, Ma.
- Tell me everything!
- I think he's a little
different than what we thought.
- So, the Billy
I knew is in there.
- He is.
- Aww.
Aw...
Look at that.
She has a kind face.
- I thought we were talking
about Billy.
- We're talking
about relationships, yours.
I can see by the photos,
you like her.
- Mom.
- Just don't do
what you always do.
Give her a chance?
(soft music)
- Pass the socket wrench?
(socket wrench clicking)
Can I ask you something?
- Of course.
(sighs)
- We never really...
talked about her.
- Yes.
I'm aware.
- Did you ever really love her?
- More than anything.
I can still picture the first
time I saw her...
singing.
She was wearing
a long red dress,
flower in her hair.
I sat in that bar for a week,
just plucking up the courage
to talk to her.
Happiest days of my life.
But my family couldn't accept
my marrying a... commoner.
So I came back here,
out of duty,
and let them make me
into this.
And then, all thoughts of your
mother were just a dream.
- You abandoned her.
- That was weak.
- You abandoned me.
- Huh?
- No, no, no.
I never knew about you.
- She wrote you letters.
You never answered.
- I never got them.
And I assume
she'd never got mine.
No doubt my father saw to that.
Well, that's that, I suppose.
- That's that? Aren't you angry?
Don't you feel anything?
- Did you have a good childhood?
- I had everything.
- Except a father.
I'm sorry, Johnny.
I missed out on so much.
- We both did.
(socket wrench clicking)
Okay.
Get on in.
(chuckles)
Alright.
Okay. Start 'er up.
(engine struggling)
Pump the gas a little.
(car starting)
(chuckles)
(laughter)
(engine revving)
(soft music)
(suspenseful music)
- And may I introduce
Alistair Covington-Breed,
Duke of Glasswick.
(soft music)
(birdsong)
- Your Grace!
You forgot your cane.
- I don't think I shall be
needing that anymore, Jeffers.
- Delighted to hear it, sir.
(car starting)
(soul music)
- Did you go riding
with your dad like this?
- Oh. Most of my childhood
was spent in boarding schools.
Only saw my father
on high holidays.
It's nice having you here.
- You mean, it's nice
having a mechanic around.
- No.
I meant,
it's nice having you around.
(soul music)
- You know, I've been working on
a little something.
I can't wait for you to see it.
- Jeffery, you spin it.
Come on, put some muscle
into it, you!
- What's going on,
everyone?
- Johnny!
- You see?
- Why, quite impressive!
- We got a whole juice
operation.
- Your Grace!
- Don't you mean
the old crust?
(light chuckles)
- You, uh... you knew?
- Of course!
And I don't disagree.
(chuckles)
Finchey.
- Sir.
- As you know,
tonight is the 312th
Royal Glasswick Ball.
And, as such, I'd like
to extend an invitation
to all of you.
Your, friends,
family, neighbours.
Spread the word!
- Well...
to the old crust!
- The old crust!
(laughter)
- Your Grace!
You're not answering
your phone.
Alistair is requesting
a meeting.
- I'm a bit busy here.
- He says it's urgent.
(sigh)
- Have you got a name
for this enterprise yet?
- Um, we've been kicking around
a few.
Prudence.
- Mmm?
- You got any ideas?
- Oh. Maybe.
What about...
Common Ground Juice?
- I don't think
we can beat that.
(laughter)
- Well, what do you say?
Common Ground Juice?
(chuckles)
(everyone): Common Ground!
- What's this urgent
matter about, then?
- Alistair has uncovered
some important information.
- Apparently, in her zeal
to anoint Mr. Payne,
your trusted advisor failed
to notice something.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, it seems your heir
was born
after your marriage
to his mother was annulled.
Thus, his claim to the title
is illegitimate.
You can hang around
The Pickled Pickle
if you choose.
But there's no future for you
in this castle.
- Touch.
It's a fencing term.
Well, at least we got
the car running.
(dramatic music)
Heh.
- Johnny!
- I should never have let myself
get swept up in this.
Castles, titles, jellied eels.
I came here to meet my father
and I did,
and I guess that's all
there was meant to be.
- Things have changed now.
- People don't change,
Prudence.
I don't belong here.
- That's not true.
You can't just leave.
What about us?
Oh...
She was right all along.
- She?
- The girl at the bar.
Said you'd find a way
to end things,
and fix a car
on the way out.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
(sad music)
- You heard already.
- Need you ask?
I am sorry, mate.
I still say you would've made
a right brilliant duke.
- Yeah, well, you spend
too much time in a pub!
(laughing)
- That is true.
- Chin up, eh?
- Yeah, you'll be alright.
- Jeffers?
- I packed up your things.
May I say it's going to be very
dull at the castle without you.
First round's on me.
- No, Jeffers,
it's not necessary.
- Actually it's on you,
I'm using your tip.
(laughter)
- I can see why you'd want
to leave this pack of eejits.
But what about Prudence?
- Pretty sure that wasn't
going anywhere anyway.
- Ey. That's rubbish!
- I quite agree.
- Don't you have a ball
to get ready for?
- We're not going.
Who wants to be around a bunch
of stiffs, anyway?
- Hey...
Friends.
- Friends.
- Friends.
(soft music)
(sighs)
- You okay?
- Yeah.
This was meant to turn out
differently.
- It almost did.
- I suppose different
wasn't meant to be.
Well, back to the way
things have always been done.
- So is that
what you're going to do, too?
- It's who I am, isn't it?
(sighs)
Well. Aren't you supposed to be
getting ready for the ball?
- I'm not going.
None of us are.
Not without Johnny.
- That's not right.
Uh...
- What is it?
- I... I... I, uh...
I need to see the Duke.
(soft, inspiring music)
- You ever change your tie,
Jeffers?
- Only on Sunday.
(laughter)
(door closing)
- You agreed to stay
through the ball.
A bet's a bet.
- Can I owe you one?
- No. You need to finish
what you started here,
and you started a lot.
You invited the village
inside those walls
for the first time
in 312 years.
You need to be there with them.
Besides, if you don't go,
who am I supposed to dance with?
- Prudence.
- You think people can't change.
Well, I disagree.
(violin music)
(violin music)
- Lord Tisbury.
How do you do?
Lovely to see you.
Lord Cavendish,
looking well.
La...
Dottie!
- Billy!
- I haven't been called that
for years!
- What do they call you?
- The old crust!
(laughter)
- You're looking lovelier
than the day we met.
- Oh!
(laughter)
- Alistair, Elena,
this is Dorothy Payne.
Dottie, these are
two of the biggest snobs
you'll ever meet.
Come along,
I'll introduce you to some more.
(chuckling)
- Ugh, what now?
Heavens above.
- Let them have
their fun.
This will all end
soon enough.
(violin music)
(laughing)
- Well, I never thought
I'd see this.
- Me neither.
Ma?
- Doll face!
Ahh! Oh, my!
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, look at you!
- Look at you!
- Well, Billy got me
a ticket out, first class!
- So sorry, this is--
- Well, it's Prudence?
I feel like I know you already.
- Oh Mrs. Payne,
it is so lovely to meet you.
- Please honey,
call me Dottie.
- Dottie. Dottie,
lovely to meet you.
- If I can have everyone's
attention.
As I'm sure you know,
I'm not exactly known
for expressing emotions.
(light laughter)
But I'm going to give it a go.
This past week has brought new
life to these old bones.
Maybe it's the beet
root juice.
(laughter)
Or driving a car I once loved.
Or communing with the good
people of Glasswick again.
It seems to me I have
been given a second chance...
to get to know my son.
Who has reminded me
of the man I once was,
when anything seemed possible.
Originally I was going
to use this occasion
to discuss my declining health.
But now I say, shut the doors
of the graveyard!
(laughter)
Because I have much yet
to accomplish.
This time, with the people
of Glasswick alongside me.
- Hey!
(applause)
- And when my time is through,
I hope that Johnny
will be ready to succeed me.
Because I think he will make
an uncommonly good duke.
- Your Grace is
obviously confused.
- Actually, I've never been
more clear.
- What are you talking about?
- Many years ago,
I married the love of my life.
But I didn't stand up for her.
For us.
Which I regret to this day.
When I received the papers
annulling our marriage,
I was heartbroken.
Too heartbroken
to sign them.
- Your signature is on them.
- Well, I'll let my advisor
speak to that.
Prudence?
- The Duke is left-handed.
His signature leaves an ink
smudge as his hand crosses
the page.
The signature on the annulment
is forged.
Most likely
by the Duke's father.
Rendering it invalid.
In fact, it is quite possible
that His Grace and
Dottie Payne are still married.
(indistinct chatter)
- Duke William!
Long live the Duke!
(applause)
(Alistair): No, no, no!
No, no!
This won't stand.
- Feel free to authenticate it
with my solicitor.
She's waiting for you
by the door.
On your way out.
- Darling.
- Don't touch me, Mother!
- Darling!
(chuckles)
- Well, that's that.
(soft piano music)
- Not quite.
When's the last time
you hugged someone?
- 1989!
(laughter)
- Speech, Johnny. Speech!
- Speech.
- Speech, um...
(nervous sigh)
Your Grace.
Dad.
You've got a lot of living
to do.
And I...
have a few things to live down.
(laughter)
And more than a lot to learn.
But I got some promises
to keep. That's right.
The boys and I, we're gonna
start a juice company.
- That's right!
(cheering)
- And we're gonna make that
farmland self-supporting again
and make the dutchie
profitable.
But before any of that,
I just want to dance
with the prettiest girl
in the kingdom.
(violin music)
(hushed chatter)
(woman squeals)
(indistinct chatter)
(insects chirring)
Lifetime commitment, huh?
- Nervous?
- Actually...
(intense music)
I can't wait.
(soft music)
(music swells)
(laughter)
- Hi!
- Oh, hey, Dad.
Is it tea time already?
Turns out I love tea time.
- Triscuit seems to like you.
- That is because he's been
bribing him with beets.
- I don't think so.
- Didn't you say that horses are
excellent judges of character?
- Perhaps...
- This beauty's going to be
leaving us soon.
- That is Triscuit's son,
Biscuit.
- And where is Biscuit going?
- Your cousin Henry is in love
with an American girl.
He's going to give her Biscuit
as a present.
- Wait a second,
I got another cousin?
Is he nicer than the other one?
- My dear boy,
you have many cousins!
Actually,
you have one called Desmond,
who's about to marry a girl
over a castle.
- Is that anywhere near here?
- Have you heard
of the Kingdom of Androvia?
- Of course I have. Who hasn't?
- Come on.
Let's go to the library
and I'll educate you on our
rather complicated family tree.
- Guess I'm a new leaf
on an old branch.
- Well, I'll be getting
the leaf blower.
(chuckles)
(laughter)
(soft music)