The Scout (1994) Movie Script
[Guitar And Fiddle Play Folksy Tune]
With my
personal trainer,
from Tampa Bay, Florida,
Tony Little,
[Applause]
Hey, Tony, welcome,
Thank you
for being here,
Let me
ask you a question,
95% of people
gain their weight back,
Is it ever going to end?
We're going to educate them,
Let me show you something,
what I call "fitness past,"
What's all this?
[Grrr]
The original!
Ha! I can't believe it.
Ohh... Thanks.
This is a sign.
He's always been king
of his world,
We'll teach him fear,
"We're millionaires, boys.
I'll share it with all of you."
He was a king
and a god
in the world he knew,
But now he comes
to civilization,
merely a captive,
a show to gratify
your curiosity,
"Ladies and gentlemen..."
look at...
"Kong, the eighth wonder
of the world."
[Fanfare]
There he is.
If only he could pitch.
Good one now.
Come on! Heads up!
Put it in there.
Strike!
Hello, fellas.
Well, well, the pride of the Yankees.
They fly you down in their private jet?
In fact, they offered. Yeah.
I heard you were in big trouble.
Where'd you hear that?
The kid you found, McGowan?
He's zero for 60?
0 for 61.
You didn't see last night's game.
Who cares about last night's game?
Let me tell you how it works.
The world's a jungle.
You walk into the jungle,
come out with Kong,
you're a hero.
They forget about
last night's game.
Who's Kong?
Catcher, Iowa State.
No, the animal!
In the movies.
Forget it.
Strike!
Whew! The kid can pitch.
He's gonna finish
college, too.
What's he now,
junior?
Freshman.
Freshman?
3 1 /2 years,
can't touch him.
Can't even talk
to his parents.
They're devout
Catholics.
Well, I learned one thing,
no use salivating
over a player
you're never gonna get,
right, Phil?
Right.
If my bosses call,
tell 'em I already showed up.
By the way, I'm leaving now.
You can make fun of me.
Yeah, don't worry. We will.
Tommy!
How are you?
Good.
I'm Al Percolo...
scout with the New York Yankees.
Wow. The Yankees?
I didn't know you guys were coming.
Here we are.
Listen, you're really good.
Thanks.
You're gonna finish
school though, huh?
It's not my idea.
I'd kill to play
for the Yankees,
but that's what
my parents want.
I thought
you wanted to finish.
No, but what am I gonna do?
Let me talk to your parents.
Want to come have dinner?
Tonight? I wasn't really invited.
I'm inviting you.
I accept.
Mmm. These carrots
are so sweet,
you could eat them
for dessert.
Thank you.
You know, the Yankees
are very geared to religion.
I couldn't help noticing
that beautiful painting
up there.
That's virtually
the same exact picture
that hangs in the clubhouse.
Terrific likeness, isn't it?
You've heard
of Mickey Mantle?
Did you know
his sister was a nun?
I hadn't heard that.
Yes, indeed,
a very famous one.
What was her name?
Gee, I believe
it was also Micki,
but with an "I."
Sister Micki
Elizabeth Mantle.
Some nun.
Tommy, you haven't
touched your food.
I'm not hungry.
It's no excuse.
Finish your food.
He reminds me of me.
Couldn't get me to finish my food
if you paid me.
Now try to keep me away.
May I say something?
Yeah.
I believe education
is most important
and that people
should finish school.
I know Tommy does, too.
But Tommy has a dilemma,
and that is that...
he's gifted.
And he's really concerned.
What does he do
with that gift?
Does he sign on the dotted line
right now, make $500,000,
go to the biggest city
in the world,
and become a member of the most
prestigious baseball team that ever was,
or does he continue
his schooling,
possibly trip over a book
on the way to math class
and be worth nothing?
But he knows that with the kind of money
you make in baseball,
even if you didn't
finish school,
your education
doesn't have to stop.
Tommy knows that many
of the ballplayers hire tutors.
Did you know that?
Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb,
Lou Gehrig...
they all had tutors
with them in the dugout.
Lou Gehrig...
had a tutor?
Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah.
Didn't he also have
a terrible disease?
He did, but he didn't
get it from the tutor.
I think he got that
in college.
So you can see
Tommy's dilemma.
Do I take God's gift
and go play for the greatest
baseball team that ever lived,
or do I stay in a small school
and hope I don't trip?
Is this what
you were thinking, Tommy?
That's exactly...right.
I can have a tutor, Mom,
right in the dugout.
Please, Mom, let me play.
Please?
Please?
Please?
And in his major league
debut... Tommy Lacy.
What a great afternoon
for Yankee baseball,
I'm Bobby Mercer,
along with John Sturly,
the radio voice
of the Yankees,
John has seen
Tommy Lacy pitch,
I sure have,
a year ago,
We gave up Reynolds
for Lacy?
Sure hope it's
the right thing to do.
Wait till you
see him pitch.
You'd give up two Reynolds
to get him.
By the way, how come he's not
with the team?
I wouldn't worry
about it.
[Vomiting]
[Toilet Flushes]
You feeling better,
Tommy?
No.
Come on, son.
You got to take the mound.
It's game time.
No, I can't.
Tell them I can't.
What do you mean you can't?
There's 30,000 people
sitting out there
just waiting
to see you pitch.
Tell them I can't.
I can't do it.
I ain't telling them
nothing.
You tell them.
Aagg.
What?
Get him out of there.
Well, crawl underneath.
I don't care
what you do.
Just get him
out of there.
Al.
Al!
Your kid's locked himself
in the crapper.
What?
Lacy's locked
in the crapper.
He won't come out.
Here we go,
The Yankees take the field,
Kid, you're supposed
to be on the field!
Listen, I made
a mistake, O.K.?
O.K. I need the Lord.
What's going on?
I want the Lord.
He don't want
to play, Al.
Let me talk to him.
Tommy, Al Percolo.
How are ya?
Mr. Percolo,
I made a mistake.
I got to go home.
You can't go home,
Tommy.
People are waiting. Everyone
wants to see you pitch.
Come on.
I can't pitch
for a crowd this size.
I can't do it.
You've pitched in front
of full stadiums at home.
What's the difference?
It wasn't Yankee Stadium.
It's-- I don't
want to be here.
I'll give the money back.
I don't want it back,
you son of a bitch.
Sorry, Tommy.
I'm on the line here.
I gave up a draft choice
to get you.
Just compose yourself, get out there,
and play a good game.
No, I can't do it.
I want the Lord.
I need the Lord.
Shh, shh, shh.
Let me tell you something.
Listen.
The Lord wants you
to play baseball.
Yes, he does.
He wants me
to finish school.
No, he doesn't.
God's not interested
in people finishing school.
He doesn't care about
the graduation ceremonies.
That's why they're
in the afternoon.
They'd be at night
if it was important.
So, go out there
and play ball.
This is what
God wants you to do.
I don't know much,
but I know this.
God wants you
to pitch.
I think I made a mistake.
God says people
can make mistakes.
God never said
people make mistakes.
Where did you hear
that shit?
God said nothing
like that.
He said honor thy father,
thy mother,
and thy Yankee contract.
I'm coming under.
There's some delay.
Apparently, Tommy Lacy is still
in the locker room.
I know what he's doing.
He's looking at himself
in the mirror
in that Yankee uniform
and can't get over it.
It's a stunning sight,
first time you put that on.
Something seems to happen.
Come on.
No, no! Please!
Now, listen to me.
Use your change-up
sparingly, understand?
You're going to be fine.
No! Aah!
[Organ Plays Charge]
[Mexican Hat Dance Plays]
What's the trouble?
No trouble.
He's out there,
isn't he?
Lacy's first warmup
pitch was very wild,
way over Jackson's head.
[Woman]
Get it over the plate, dummy!
Another wild pitch,
Lacy cannot find
his control.
What is this?
Is this a joke,
these warmups?
They're warmups.
That's what they're for.
To see how far away
he can throw it from the men?
You're getting closer.
Looking for
a pitching coach?
Lacy has stopped
his warmups.
Now he's looking
as if to--
Oh, my goodness!
Uh-oh. That's
a little embarrassing.
Tommy must've eaten some
bad food before coming out
because he has regurgitated
all over the mound.
And here comes
the cleaning crew.
Well, we've just seen
a baseball first.
Tommy Lacy taking
himself out of the game.
Listen, it happens to fighters,
it happens to runners.
You eat that bad turkey,
this is what
happens to you.
No, no, no.
Don't stop him.
Just let him go.
I don't care.
Just let him go.
Just a case
of butterflies.
I've seen it
a thousand times.
He's gonna be fine.
Right now, he's
running down the road
with his clothes
over his back.
You wanna run after him
and tell him he's gonna be fine?
He's running where?
I don't know, Al.
Somewhere towards
the turnpike.
I want to see you in my office
in five minutes.
Tommy Lacy's very expensive,
very brief big league debut,
Vapadelapa, Nochitos,
Escondrio...
Playa Del Muerte.
Huegos...
I never heard of any
of these places.
They're a little off
the beaten track, Al.
You're the first scout we've ever sent
this deep into Mexico.
But is there
baseball there?
Oh, I'm sure there is.
Maybe not in the form
we know it,
but I'm gonna expect a daily report
from each of these towns.
Come on. You know I'm not
gonna find anybody there.
It's a waste of time.
Is this a grudge trip?
Yes, it is, Al.
Well, why don't you
just fire me?
I thought of that.
I like this better.
If you're trying
to banish me,
at least pick a place
where somebody
plays baseball.
What about Alaska
or Canada?
If I had my choice,
it'd be a leper colony.
I think it's illegal.
This will have to do.
Adios.
Hasta la vista,
You be safe, Al.
Beep beep
Ahh
Beep beep
Ahh
Beep beep
~ Ahh, beep beep ~
~ Ahh ~
~ Beep beep ~
~ Ahh, beep beep ~
~ Ahh ~
~ Beep beep ~
~ Ahh, beep beep ~
Vapadelapa.
Vapadelapa.
Right here.
~ Bang bang ~
~ Money, money ~
~ Cornbread ~
~ Margarine ~
~ Cornbread ~
~ Gootchie, gootchie,
gootchie ~~
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's a foot?
Is that a foot?
Huh? No, no.
Where I come from
that's a felony.
No, thank you.
[Speaking Spanish]
Where are the umpires?
Any umpires out there?
You just want to
share that, don't you?
You finish it.
I'll use the napkin.
Senor Ramirez, telefono,
Senor Ramirez,
Where's the pitcher
going?
Telephone call.
Telephone call?
How do you like that?
No, no, no, no.
No.
Safe!
It's pouring.
They're not gonna stop?
Too much rain-o.
You know, the rain's
pouring...down.
They should stop.
No stop. Stop-po rain.
Uh, alto,
Alto 'cause of the rain.
No, senor, they wait
for the rain.
Better slide.
[Coughing]
[Horn Honks]
Whoa!
[Beep]
No!
Whoaa!
What is this,
a kennel?
How are ya?
My God, this is
really a dump.
Here.
[Electronic Translator]
Quiero un habitacion con bano?
I speak enough where
we don't have to do that.
You're kidding?
You know,
I didn't mean dump
in the traditional
sense.
Name?
Percolo. I have
a reservation.
P-E-R-C-O-L-O.
Si, Percolo.
You got a credit card?
Oh, yeah.
What brings you here?
Are you visiting?
No, no, no. I'm here
to see a baseball game.
I'm a scout.
Oh, you must be here
to see Steve Nebraska.
Who?
Steve Nebraska.
That's not why you're here?
I don't know
who that is.
You don't know
who that is?
That's the greatest ballplayer
that ever lived.
That's who he is.
And this is
the Four Seasons.
You're in for a treat.
Really?
Well, I hope so.
You got a porter that could
help me with the bags?
No. You want the job?
Ron, I can barely
hear you.
I don't even know
if you can hear me.
As usual, I have
nothing new to report.
Uh, hold on, Al.
I want more details
than that.
More details?
All right.
Yesterday
I saw a game played
by five men,
two women, a child,
and a goat
at third base.
Really?
Was the goat any good?
Very funny, Ron.
I got to go.
I got a game to see.
Enjoy the game.
Uh, my regards
to the goat.
[Band Plays]
[Gong Sounds]
[Band Plays
The Star-Spangled Banner]
[Band Forgets Music]
Play ball!
[Band Plays Charge]
- Nebraska!
- Nebraska!
Strike!
Strike!
Strike 3!
This is unreal!
Jesus!
Strike 3!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Don't tell me
he can hit, too.
I found him.
I found him! I found him!
I found Kong! I found Kong!
Oh, my God Almighty!
[Singing In Spanish]
They just don't leave you
alone around here.
They love you.
Mmm, I love this salad.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
Want one?
No. I ate at the game.
Rat dog, huh?
What?
[Laughing]
That's a joke, right?
I'm just kidding.
They got good stuff
there.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe it.
You're from the Yankees?
That is so cool.
Well, they're certainly
a legendary team.
Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't imagine
playing for the Yankees.
I mean,
that's just too much.
The Yankees would be
lucky to have you.
Are you kidding?
I don't know.
I don't think the competition
down here's so great.
Maybe I'm just
playing good
because I'm not playing
against anybody.
You don't have
any competition.
I have never seen anybody pitch
like that in my whole life.
You ever had it clocked?
Gotta be over 100 miles
an hour.
Think so?
And where did you learn
to hit like that?
I just get the bat off
my shoulder and...
God, I am so lucky no other scouts
have ever seen you play.
A while ago, this guy
from Chicago came down,
but he got sick...
and he died.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, Lord!
[Speaking Spanish]
You again.
"Steve Ne-bra-ska."
Gracias,
De nada,
You're like a god
around here.
I guess they like me.
I'd say that.
Want to know a secret?
Yeah, sure.
I have never paid for
a taco here once...ever.
That's a secret?
It's safe with me.
So how did you
wind up in Mexico?
You got family down here?
No.
Where are they?
Who?
Your family.
Where are they?
Oh, them.
They're, um...
they're, um...
they're in the...
I don't really know
where they are.
They're just
kind of, um...
Steve.
Hmm?
Steve.
Steve. Steve.
Steve.
Steve.
Thpppt!
[Laughing]
So you're all alone here?
Well, you're here now.
Well, yes, I am.
And thank God for that.
So, what do you think,
Nebraska?
Want to be
a New York Yankee?
Would I make
some money?
Would you make some money?
You'll be one of the richest men
in the world.
You're King Kong.
You've got it all.
New York's gonna go
crazy for you.
I've never been
to New York.
I don't know anybody there.
Where would I live?
You live anywhere
you choose.
You can stay with me
if you want to.
No problem, Steve.
O.K. Let's do it.
That's it!
Uh-huh.
Hey, hey!
Oh, man!
This is the greatest!
All right.
I'll go to the hotel,
make a call,
get the ball rolling
tonight.
A few quick questions,
standard stuff.
O.K.
You don't throw up...
or run away or anything?
Como?
Huh? What?
What do you mean?
I mean, you don't
get extra nervous...
Steve, Yankee Stadium is different
from what you've ever played in.
It's a lot of people.
It's not like here.
Now, that doesn't
bother you?
No. People, that's O.K.
I can play in front
of a million people.
I don't see the people,
just the plate,
the glove, the throw.
You are beautiful!
And that's it.
No problems, right?
Nothing else bothers you?
Yeah, one thing
bothers me.
All these questions
you're asking.
I don't like questions.
I don't like
to answer questions.
Steve, no more questions,
just statements.
We're going to New York!
It's gonna be great!
Ron, I'm on a different phone.
Don't yell.
It has nothing to do with the phone.
I like yelling.
I have found the most
astounding ballplayer
that ever lived.
I've never seen
anything like it.
He can hit, pitch.
It's extraordinary.
I stake
my reputation on it.
Your reputation?
Now that's a laugh.
Whatever.
Wait'll you see him.
You'll change your mind.
You're not bringing
anybody back with you.
Oh, yes, I am.
You can't stop me.
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
You're fired.
You're firing me?
Yeah.
So I am no longer affiliated
with the Yankees?
You got that one right.
Then he's
a free agent.
I can do whatever
I want with him.
Marry him if you want to.
This is an important moment
of my life.
We need someone
to document it.
A Mexican attorney just
happened to come in.
Would you come here,
sir?
I'm talking to the
Yankee general manager.
He has just fired me,
which means he has no rights
to Steve Nebraska.
Steve Nebraska can go
to the highest bidder.
Do you understand?
Si,
There. Documented
by an attorney,
you fat bastard!
Sir, your party
has hung up.
Huh? Where'd he go?
I don't know, sir.
Did he hear
the fat bastard part?
[Singing Take Me Out
To The Ball Game In Spanish]
Adios,
Bye.
Bye!
Ha ha! Goodbye.
Goodbye!
~ Do you know the way
to San Jose? ~
~ I've been away
so long ~
~ I may go wrong
and lose my way ~
~ Do you know
the way... ~~
You're singing
a little too loud.
I'm singing
too loudly?
And talking too loudly.
And talking too loudly?
Could you turn
that thing down?
[Shouting]
Know why that happens?
It's because you got
the earphones in your ears,
and then you can't
hear yourself speak.
~ In a week or 2
they make you a star ~~
[Humming]
What was that?
I think it's
her phone number.
You didn't even look.
How do you know?
I'm pretty sure
it's her phone number.
Just out of curiosity,
let's look at it.
I'm curious.
[Humming]
~ Away from home ~~
That must happen
to you a lot, huh?
I have a whole
box of them.
Celina.
Gloria.
~ Ba-ba-ba-ba ~~
That's terrific news,
Cliff.
And who's Peter O'Malley
sending?
Al?
Al?
Al!
I got to go.
I'll call you
tonight.
Steve!
Al!
Steve.
Have I got
great news for you.
Don't do that again.
I thought you'd left.
Leave you?
I wouldn't
count on it.
Listen,
things are heating up.
Representatives from
every major league team
are coming here tomorrow
to watch us play.
But I thought I was
going to be a Yankee.
You still could be
a Yankee.
You could be a Yankee,
a Brave,
whoever likes us
the best.
You're still going to get to pitch
at Yankee Stadium.
I got the place
for two hours.
I don't have a lot of strings,
but I pulled them all.
~ I love New York~
~The buildings
are very tall ~
~ I love New York~
~The people probably look
real small from up there ~
~ I love New York~
~ I love New York~
~ Look at all the lights
and all the people ~
~ And there's a man wearing
a dress in New York~
~We love New York~
~ It's my new home ~
~ I love New York~~
Right here.
Here. Here.
Take whatever....
Hey, good luck.
Thanks.
Listen, I got
a beautiful sister.
Here's her number.
Give her a call.
Thanks.
Come on, Al.
Look who's back.
Ah, Mr. Percolo,
welcome back.
Hi, Danny.
How you doing?
Danny, Steve Nebraska,
maybe the greatest ballplayer
that ever lived.
Steve's staying with me
for a while, so be nice.
That's wonderful.
You're a ballplayer,
huh?
Who do you play for?
We don't know yet,
but whoever it is,
Al says we're
gonna be rich.
Ha ha. Come on.
Rich!
Come on.
It's not a good idea
to say you're
gonna be rich.
It always
works out badly.
Well...
Iet's go back down there
and tell him that we're
not gonna be rich.
It's too late now.
People always believe
the first thing
they hear.
[Saxophonist
Practices Scales]
Home sweet home.
Wow.
Would you look
at this place?
It's huge.
It's got a view
and everything.
It's of another building,
but I guess it's a view.
Nobody broke in.
I feel rich already.
Take the bedroom.
I'll sleep out here.
I'm all right here.
I don't want you
screwing up your back.
Take the bedroom.
O.K.
Look at the size
of this bed!
Don't jump on that!
That's not gonna hold!
I'm sorry.
Where's that box
of phone numbers
I had
on the airplane?
I can't believe
that people
are gonna be getting laid
in this apartment,
and I'm not one of them.
[Snoring]
Go away.
[Mumbling]
Put it down.
I hate you!
I can't stop!
Aah!
Good morning.
I want to thank you all
for coming here
on such short notice.
But, boy, have we got
a beautiful day for this.
Jesus Christ,
he's going to make speeches now.
Now in my opinion,
you're about to see
the best ballplayer
I've ever seen,
but you be the judge.
No more talk.
Time to see him.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Steve Nebraska,
right here.
Come out now!
Where is he?
Where is he, Al?
There we go,
Steve Nebraska!
Come on out.
Check the turnpike, Al.
- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!
I'm sure.
Where is he? Steve!
There he is.
Just getting his shoes on.
Steve Nebraska!
Take a few warmups,
and let me know
when you're ready.
I don't need
to warm up.
Are you sure?
He's all warmed up.
I guess that's what
he was doing.
O.K., now,
a pitcher
of Steve's quality
has got to have somebody
to pitch to.
Can you believe who's
going to help us out here?
One of the greats--
Keith Hernandez!
Keith!
Thanks a lot
for coming.
Right up there.
O.K., here we go!
Where's my money?
I don't
have it on me.
I don't do this
unless I'm paid
up-front.
I'll give you
the money, O.K.?
O.K.
Steve, fire when ready.
Excuse me...
I, um, I don't know
what those signals mean.
Then why are you shaking
your head no?
Uh, I don't know.
You're supposed
to shake no, right?
Hey, just throw
what you want to throw.
O.K., all right.
Ooh!
Holy mackerel!
I've never seen
anything like this.
How much do you
want to go on this kid?
Whatever it takes.
You got it.
Man, did you see that?
Strike 3. He's out.
Keith, step out a minute,
will you, please?
Larry, did you clock him?
It's broken.
It says 6 then 7
then 9.
It had to be
faster than that.
That's 109.
Oh, no, it can't be.
This thing doesn't
go over 100.
See the asterisk?
That means
you've reached 100,
then you've got
your number-- 109.
God damn.
If all Steve did
was pitch,
that would be
pretty good,
but he likes
to hit, too.
I wanted to give him
the best competition,
so to help us out...
Bret Saberhagen.
Bret, thanks a lot.
I appreciate it.
I haven't been
paid yet.
What is it
with you guys?
It's in the mail.
Keith said I'm supposed
to get paid first.
He's just
a mistrustful fellow.
That was the agreement.
$9 million,
he needs my money.
Whoa!
O.K. if I switch?
Do whatever
you want.
Well, there you have it.
Where'd this guy
come from?
The bidding's going to go
differently than you're used to.
All sealed bids will be
delivered to me
within one hour.
How come you're
accepting the bids?
Who authorized you?
Steve did.
Remember when
you let me go?
He hired me.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yankee letterhead.
Look at
Steinbrenner.
Pokerfaced.
Ladies and gentlemen...
thank you for waiting.
We're ready to announce
now the winning bid.
We want to thank
you all very much.
Uh...
I've never done
this before.
I'm a scout,
not a speaker.
I'm a little nervous
at this.
I want to thank
all of the clubs.
All of the bids were
very, very respectable,
but like a baseball game,
somebody has to win,
and somebody did.
With a bid
of $55 million
over the next
four years,
Steve Nebraska
is very proud to be
a New York Yankee!
Thank you for coming, and
we'll see you on the field.
$55 million
after one tryout?
How can you
justify that?
I have to go
with my gut instinct.
After what I saw today,
he's worth every
penny of it.
So he's pitching
right away?
He's pitching as soon as
we get him in uniform.
That's not the way
the deal was structured.
It isn't?
Uh, Mr. Wilson may
not be informed,
but the teams were in agreement
that no matter who got Steve,
because we're far
into this season,
Steve doesn't want to take
any blame or credit,
so he would get a fresh start
next year as a Yankee.
Well, just a minute.
What are you saying?
We can't play him
this year?
Stop taking my picture.
You got 32 already.
Mr. Wilson is asking
what would happen
if the New York Yankees
would get into
the World Series?
- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!
Why are they
laughing, Al?
I'm going to make
a deal right now.
If the Yankees get
in the World Series,
Steve Nebraska
pitches the first game.
All right?
Does that mean I pitch
the first game?
It can never happen.
Don't worry.
How many years
did you play in Mexico?
Steve, where
do you live?
Um, I don't know.
Al, Al, Al, Al!
Al, Al, Al, Al!
All right, all right.
Folks, it's been
a very long morning.
He's tired.
Just give him a break.
No more pictures.
Put him down!
Put him down!
Now, gentlemen--
All right.
I just want to reiterate
on behalf
of George Steinbrenner...
O.K., it's official.
[Applause]
Congratulations,
Steve.
Al, I want to talk
to you for a minute.
Be right back, kiddo.
Al, we're going to need
a little something from you.
Your lawyer didn't tell you
about the letter?
What are you talking about?
What letter?
Before we pay him,
we'll need a letter
from a psychiatrist
saying that
he's all right.
You already
paid him the money.
He just signed
the contract.
That was ceremonial.
Your lawyer knows this.
This is the most
amount of money
anybody has ever been paid.
Mr. Steinbrenner
wants assurances
that Steve won't flake out
like your other picks.
I find this insulting.
This is ridiculous.
Did you see him pick up
that photographer?
So what?
I told him to.
Then I told him to put him down,
which he did.
I find this
very insulting.
I'll have the letter
tomorrow.
We can set you up
with a doctor if you like.
My sister was
in the field.
As long as
they're qualified.
Well, of course
they'll be qualified.
I'm not an idiot.
"Physicians...
physicians...
plastic surgery...
anesthetic...
dietary...
psychiatry...
affiliated...
Dr. H. Aaron!"
Oh, boy!
Hammering Hank,
yes, indeed.
Hey, Steve.
Save a little
of that appetite for lunch.
Hello?
Dr. H. Aaron, please.
This is she.
You're kidding.
I'd like to come
see you right now.
Is that a possibility?
Who am I speaking to?
I'm Al Percolo, and I'm with
the New York Yankees.
Would you like
an appointment?
I'd like one now.
If you're still at that address
in the Yellow Pages,
I could scoot over now.
Is this an emergency?
Well...
yes, yes.
Yes, it is.
I'll see you
in 45 minutes.
O.K., we'll waste
a little...
Well, we'll see you
in 45 minutes.
Fantastic.
I did it.
10 minutes
with this broad,
we got the letter.
You know, last night
you were really having
quite a little nightmare.
No, I wasn't.
You weren't?
Maybe it was me.
Yep.
Cranham Center.
This is it.
What's she going
to do, Al?
It's like a physical,
only mental.
[Sniffling]
Was that the doctor?
Gee, I hope not.
Good morning.
I'm Dr. Aaron.
Mr. Percolo?
I'm Mr. Percolo.
Uh, could I talk to you
for a minute?
Of course.
I'll be right back.
[Sniffs]
I appreciate you seeing us
on such short notice.
Before we start,
may I ask you a question?
Sure.
You licensed?
Am I licensed?
Yes, I am licensed.
Would it be rude to...
to see a diploma?
Anything you can show me?
No one's asked
to see my diploma
since I began
the practice.
No.
Yes.
It's on the wall.
Those?
Mm-hmm.
I'll take
a quick look.
Harvard?
Whoa, whoa!
Great.
That's the real one?
Yes, that's
the real one.
Well, this is
very impressive.
Anything with
a picture on it?
Is this a joke?
Is this a joke?
I just want
to make sure it's you.
It's got to be you.
You can't put up a diploma
if it's not yours.
That's a felony,
isn't it?
Why don't you tell me
what's going on?
The kid sitting out there,
Steve Nebraska,
is probably the best
baseball player
that ever lived.
He has just signed a deal
with the New York Yankees
that's gonna make him
almost $60 million.
When you pay
that kind of money,
you want to be assured
that everything's gonna be O.K.
They just need a couple of
sentences on a letterhead
that they believe
that says
he's not gonna
shoot anybody
or run away
or throw up on the mound.
Tell me again what this letter
should say?
Address it
to George Steinbrenner.
You just want to say...
who you are
in a sentence or two.
Say that you went
to Harvard...
is the right thing
to say.
And then say
Steve's not nuts,
not gonna run away.
Good deal there.
Congratulations.
Then you'll sign
your name.
If you want to include
a xerox of the diploma,
that would be helpful.
And you could put,
"P.S. Sorry about Billy Martin."
Billy Martin?
Just a guy he kept firing
till he finally died.
Why don't I talk
to Steve,
and then we can
talk after that?
You don't want to do
the letter first?
I don't think so.
These smell so good.
Yes, it's nice.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
It's a physical.
What physical?
Al said that--
I told him
it was like a physical.
Put your pants on.
We're done.
Maybe it would be better,
Mr. Percolo,
if I spoke
to Steve alone.
All right.
Um...
I'll be right out here.
I would prefer
if Al stayed here
in the room with me.
Well, I'd really rather
talk to you alone.
I know,
but I would feel
much more
comfortable.
It's his first time,
and he's just
a little nervous,
so I'll sit here.
You won't even know
I'm in the room.
I'll disappear.
All right.
All right.
Please sit down,
Steve.
Ahem.
So, Steve,
where are you from?
I found him in Mexico.
I was asking Steve.
I answered?
Yeah.
So you're
from Mexico?
Uh, no,
I'm not from Mexico.
I was just down there
for a couple of years.
And why Mexico?
Because it's, um...
where I went.
Mm-hmm.
You don't remember what
brought you down there?
Uh-uh.
Well...
uh, not, not...
Baseball brought you
down there, didn't it?
Baseball brought me
down there.
You really like
baseball, hmm?
Yes, ma'am,
it's my favorite thing
in the whole world.
When did you
start playing?
Steve, is there
something wrong?
I just, uh...
I don't like
all these questions.
Do you sometimes feel
that there are things
that you try to remember
and can't?
Yeah. No.
I guess so.
I don't know.
You know what
I'd like to try?
I'd like to show you
some pictures.
I want you to give me
your immediate response.
Just look
at the picture,
and without
even thinking,
just tell me
what it means to you.
It's kind of like
a word-association game.
Just look
at the picture
and tell me whatever
comes to your mind.
O.K.
Who's that?
These aren't actual people.
Now what does this
look like to you?
That guy's faking it.
You can tell 'cause the doctors
don't look concerned at all.
He's just pretending
to be in a coma.
He knows if he
opens his eyes,
he's going to see his bill.
He stays in a coma
so he doesn't have
to pay his bill.
What a great idea.
Mr. Percolo, if you
keep speaking,
I'm going to have to ask you
to step outside.
Sorry.
You know, the medical costs
being what they are--
The next picture, Steve.
These guys are in trouble.
They look like
they're in trouble?
Not yet, but when
that driver gets angry,
and he's going to,
they're all going to start
screaming and crying.
It's just--
It's going to be a mess.
This one?
She sneezed.
Anything else?
Um...
she sneezed by the door.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
That's Batman.
Batman?
Batman. Sometimes
he goes without his cape.
O.K.
And this is
the last one.
[Coughs]
Fishing.
Fishing--
two guys fishing.
Very good.
Anything else?
[Sighs]
O.K., let's see.
They're...two guys
fishing for trout.
Very good.
Yeah? Yeah?
Very good.
You did very well.
I did?
Yes, absolutely.
Hey. Ha ha ha.
If you
could step outside
while I talk to Mr. Percolo,
then we'll be through.
O.K. All right,
I'll...
[Door Opens And Closes]
He's got some imagination,
doesn't he?
Boy, that coma story.
I never would have thought
that was Batman. He's something.
I'm not going to talk
in complicated medical terms
because it wouldn't
do much good anyway.
Appreciate that.
He's disconnected
in some way.
It's very interesting,
but his response
to this picture,
the father and the son,
he didn't recognize
as father and son.
Almost 98% of the people
shown that picture
immediately make
that association.
Hmm. Let me see it
for a second, may I?
I don't think that's
father and son necessarily.
Doesn't that guy look like
a fishing teacher to you?
Whatever.
Um, in any case,
his responses to
the other pictures,
they were pretty much
showing confused emotions.
It's obvious Steve's not in touch
with a part of himself.
That's one reason why he's
such a good ballplayer.
He's thinking of nothing
but hitting the ball.
And pitching the ball.
You should see.
Strike after strike, like a machine.
It's just--
It's great.
Well, O.K.,
interesting stuff.
Now, do I wait
for the letter
or do you want
to fax this over?
Well, Mr. Percolo,
I feel I can't give him a letter
that says he should play,
because I don't think he should.
You got to give him
the letter.
We--We need the letter.
Let me try and explain
something toyou.
Um, ahem, let's just suppose
that Steve has blocked something,
and then let's imagine he
suddenly remembers it.
If he should do that,
he could become very violent,
to himself
and to other people.
He should be in therapy.
He shouldn't be
playing athletics.
He's not
playing athletics.
In grammar school,
you play athletics.
He's playing
professional baseball.
Besides, violence
is a plus.
You ever see those fellas?
They're huge.
The best ballplayers
never had any memory.
Remember Whitey Ford,
great pitcher?
Know why they
called him Whitey?
He couldn't remember
his real name. No memory.
I could go on--
I really can't do it.
I'm sorry.
Ma'am, listen, I'm not
saying you're wrong, O.K.?
Maybe he's
got some problems.
But what are you doing?
He's one of the greatest
ballplayers I've ever seen,
and I've seen them all.
I'll work with you.
I'll bring him
seven days a week.
I'll bring him twice
a day if you need it.
But don't deny him
something that he loves.
Without baseball,
then--then he's got nothing.
And then he'll be,
well, he'll be the guy
you say he is.
He'll just
be poor, too.
You would bring him
every day?
Every single day.
That'll be an important
part of his life,
his working with you.
The letter's
just insurance.
I don't think he'll
play this year anyway.
They won't
get in the series.
Really, he's yours
till April.
He'll have lots of therapy
before getting on a field.
We just want him
on the roster.
That's why we
need the letter.
You got to do it.
Please.
If you promise you'll
bring him every day,
I'll write a letter
saying he can play.
You give me a letter,
I'll give one back.
You say he can play,
I'll say he'll be here.
I don't need a letter.
This worked out great.
When I saw your name
in the Yellow Pages,
I said,
"This woman's special."
I'll call in the morning,
we'll set up the schedule.
I'll come by early
for the letter.
That's fantastic.
Oh, wait a second.
Wait a second.
I think
you should know
it's likely Steve will look
to you as a father figure.
You know what?
It's already started to happen.
I'm trying to fill those shoes.
I'll do my best.
I understand,
but this a father
Steve might want to
put a bullet through.
How's he feel
about his uncles?
- You know that by looking
at those pictures?
- No.
All right,
thanks for the warning.
Uncle Al's got
good news for you. Ha.
You did great.
You think so?
She loves you, wants
to see you every day.
I don't know if I want
to see her every day.
It's a good place to
let out your problems.
I don't know her.
She's a doctor.
Once you pay her, you know her.
~You gotta have ~
~ Heart ~
~ All you really
need is heart ~
~ If you don't
have heart ~
~Then you
don't get dinner ~
~You gotta have heart ~
~ Ba da da dee ~~
That's a great movie.
It's about baseball.
Damn Yankees,
Damn Yankees,
Al!
Talk to us!
Stop ducking us!
Hey, would you
go away, please?
We're trying
to eat dinner.
Where's Steve?
He's with me.
Now, good night.
People want
to know things.
How about
a press conference?
We're not doing a press conference
like Romeo and Juliet,
We'll do it
at another time.
What are you doing?
Throwing plates.
You can't do that.
M-M-M-Move!
Aah!
M-M-M-Move!
No! No! No! No!
You can't do that!
Are you nuts?
I didn't mean that.
Don't throw plates.
Please!
No!
No! No! No! No!
I've got
a crazy landlady.
She's here
throwing things.
She'll kill ya!
More plates!
Oh, no, we're
going to get sued.
They're gone.
You got a knife
anywhere?
A what?
- I need a sharp knife.
- Why?
To cut things with.
Oh. Cut what up?
I like to cut my food
with a knife.
We're having spaghetti.
You don't need a knife.
I don't have one
in the house.
I'm all out--
I got some there.
That's the woman's
upstairs.
It's not right for us
to use them.
She's got emphysema.
So it's a bad idea.
Al, give me a knife.
What happened there?
I don't
have a knife.
I can't find one.
Oh, you know what?
Use that.
That'll do for you.
This is a butter knife.
Yeah. A nice one, too.
An ivory handle.
Well, I'm not
having butter.
You can
change your mind.
You want butter,
you got the right knife.
Go back and sing.
Great. Good.
I got to tell you,
I don't understand it...
I can't see
a damn thing.
Don't use the binoculars in the house.
You'll hurt your eyes.
For the amount of people who've seen
Steve Nebraska play...
they're talking
about you.
$55 million dollars,
What about the rumor he's
under a doctor's care?
Turn that down.
How'd they
find that out?
...If Steve Nebraska
turned out to be Jimmy Piersall?
Who's Jimmy Piersall?
Don't worry,
you're not him.
What did they say?
Hands down, the fastest
pitcher they've ever seen,
and the best hitter,
Mmm, what
are you doing?
They're talking about me.
We're going to have
to do a press conference.
Al, why? Come on, you said
I wouldn't have to pitch.
Well, you're going to pitch
eventually, aren't you?
If we don't talk to the press,
they'll keep coming.
They'll make everything up,
like the doctor.
But all that's true.
That's true. But it'll
just get worse and worse.
Next thing you'll know,
you'll be a defector.
They'll have you
killing somebody.
That would be cool.
What does that mean?
What does what mean?
Well, that it's
not cool to, uh...
No, you don't mean that.
With the money
they're paying you,
you can't throw a ball
and go home to sleep.
You got to talk
to the press.
Maybe it's not worth it.
Not worth it?
It works out to
a million dollars a question.
There's going to be
a million questions,
and I don't know
all the answers.
I don't want
to look foolish.
I'll never
let that happen.
We'll go over stuff,
just like the president.
He wakes up a fool.
They help him.
We'll go over stuff.
We'll fill in the blanks.
We'll give you a life
you can be proud of.
- Shh!
- Shh!
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm sorry for the delay.
You all set?
Hmm? Yeah. Uh, in your version,
did I go to college?
Yes. We decided that.
A very good one.
Listen to me.
If they bring up
the therapy at all,
tell them that, uh,
tell them it's
not you, it's me.
If they bring up
the therapy,
tell them that you're
taking me to the doctor.
What's wrong with you?
Nothing.
What do you mean?
I was just giving
you an answer.
If they bring up the therapy,
it's not you.
I'm going.
I'll need
another note card.
Just forget it.
Forget it.
...this press conference
will lay that to rest.
Now, uh--Oh, O.K.,
I want to give you all
a crack at the new pride of
the Yankees-- Steve Nebraska.
Are you in therapy?
Why're you in therapy,
Steve?
Ohh! Time out!
Let's all ask questions
one at a time.
Then we'll
move this along,
and I can answer
your questions.
Are you currently
in therapy?
Uh, nope.
You've been seen coming in and out
of a doctor's office.
That's because I'm taking
my friend to that office.
Who, Steve?
Al Percolo.
Your manager?
Yeah, that's right.
What's wrong
with him?
Uh...nothing.
I'm not a doctor.
Ha ha ha ha.
Where were you born?
I was born
in the Mideast.
In the Mideast?
Midwest.
West--Midwest! Ha.
I spent time
in the Mideast.
How much time?
I spent...
six years
in the Mideast,
Wait, hang on minute.
Are your parents
American?
So far as I know,
How'd you get
to the Mideast?
On an airplane,
I'll call you back.
That's Steve Nebraska
for you,
Very odd past,
Spent time in the Middle East,
hiked around Switzerland for years,
father went to Harvard,
It goes on and on,
I got to tell you something.
You did great.
You know how hard it is
to make guys laugh
at a press conference?
What if they find out
some of that stuff
I said isn't true?
How will they find out?
They're reporters.
The Yankees keep going
like they're going...
we'll see
this kid soon,
The Yankees could be
in the World Series,
Oh, please.
All New Yorkers are
crossing their fingers,
We hope Steve Nebraska's
the Yankees' gain and Cairo's loss,
And I'm hungry, too.
How could you be hungry?
You ate 30 minutes ago.
Well, let's eat again.
No, let's not eat again.
I got two words
of advice for you--
Fernando Valenzuela.
He started out a pitcher,
wound up a truck.
Hello?
Mr. Percolo,
it's, uh, Dr. Aaron.
I just saw Steve
on television.
Fantastic, wasn't he?
I need to see you
in my office right away.
Meet me there
in half an hour.
No, that'll be tough.
We're going out.
Steinbrenner's gal got us
tickets for Tony Bennett.
Could this wait?
It's important.
No, it can't wait.
One half hour, please.
All right,
we'll be there.
I just need
to see you.
Why's that?
Hello?
Dr. Aaron!
Hi.
Mr. Percolo, I can't be connected
with this anymore.
That's all.
What brought this on?
Middle East?
America's Cup?
A Rhodes Scholar?
Where's all that from?
He was worried
he'd forget stuff.
We went over
a few things.
This man is trying
to reconnect his life.
Don't make up stuff.
I was just trying
to help.
I think you two should
find another doctor.
I'm sorry,
I cannot help you.
You're the only doctor--
Oh, please.
Don't take
the letter back.
All right! I don't want
you around him anymore.
Let him come to therapy
by himself.
Oh, new rules.
You were the one who said,
"Stay with him
24 hours a day,
he might be dangerous."
I changed my mind.
You might be dangerous.
I'll accept that. But you won't
take the letter back, right?
Oh, you know...
I don't want to hear
anything more about the letter.
Goodbye.
Good night.
And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
please welcome
Mr. Tony Bennett!
~ I mean
I want to be around ~
~To see how he does it ~
~When he breaks
your heart ~
~To bits ~
~ Let's see
if that puzzle fits ~
~ So fine ~
Wow.
~That's when
I'll discover ~
~That revenge
is sweet ~
~ As I sit there
applaudin' ~
~ From a front row seat ~
~When somebody
breaks your heart ~
~Just like you
broke mine ~
~ Oh ~
~Yeah ~~
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo whoo!
- Good seats, huh?
- Huh?
You're beautiful.
Thank you so much.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have
a very special
guest here tonight
I'd love to introduce.
I'm a huge fan of
the New York Yankees.
Yeah, I am, too.
How much has he had?
A little.
They might even get
into the World Series.
What do you think?
Al...
Tony knows?
And right over here,
we have someone
who may turn out to be
greater than Babe Ruth.
One of the great
ballplayers of all time--
Mr. Steve Nebraska!
You.
Al!
Stand up.
Come on! They love you.
Come on, Steve, stand up
and take a bow.
Steve Nebraska!
[Woman]
Stand up! Stand up!
Yeah, man!
Hi.
Thank you, Tony.
Hi.
Hi.
They love you.
That's Tony Bennett!
Yes.
Sit down.
[Tony]
Steve Nebraska.
Now...
hit it, Ralph.
~ I left ~
~ My heart ~
Oh, God, no.
[Off Key]
~ In San Francisco ~
Steve, that's his! Shh!
That's his closer!
~ High on a hill ~
Oh, no.
It was your idea.
Steve!
Come on, everybody!
- No, don't do it.
- ~To be ~
~Where
little cable cars ~
~ Climb halfway
to the stars ~
Come on!
~Though morning fog ~
~ May fill the air ~
~ I don't care ~
~ My love waits there ~
[Giggling]
~ In San Francisco... ~~
Do you speak
English?
Thank God.
You were great.
I'm not kidding.
You could sing
professionally.
You think so?
I wouldn't ask Tony Bennett
for any help.
He wasn't angry, Al.
Nah. He loved having
his entire act taken.
Good night, Jennifer.
Thank George for the tickets.
Al.
Yeah?
I'm going to stay
with Jennifer
for a little while.
It's midnight, kid.
Think that's a good idea?
We're going out
for something to eat.
Something to eat?
You just had dinner.
Do you want to gain
a hundred pounds?
We talked about this.
I'll put in my mouth
what I want to.
Fine... but we're getting up
early in the morning
to practice.
I think you should get
a good night's sleep.
It's O.K., Steve.
We can do something
another time.
Just--
Just a minute.
I'll be right back.
Listen, you got to stop
telling me what to do, O.K.?
I'm gonna eat and sleep
when I want to,
and I'm gonna practice
when I want to!
'Cause I'm the Yankee!
Not you!
You got that?
Hi.
Sorry, the laundry
room is in use now.
Here.
What is that?
That's a chocolate
baseball bat.
I got it for you.
Did you drop it?
I--I got
a little hungry.
Well, I appreciate it.
I'll treasure it always.
I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
I've been going through
a lot of stuff with the doctor,
and it's bringing up
a lot of stuff,
and I'm thinking
about...
um, the...
I'm, uh, uh, ahem!
I gotta work it out.
O.K.
I appreciate the gift.
Thank you.
So did you have
a good time?
Yeah.
Did you go eat again?
Just the bat.
Don't leave that in the sun.
O.K.
So, uh...
what'd you guys do?
Went back
to her place.
Oh.
Did you, um...
Well, sorry, that's
none of my business.
Did I nail her?
Well, now that you brought it up...
did you?
No, I didn't.
If you're gonna do that...
with anybody...
you know to use
protection, don't you?
Oh, no. Now am I going
to get a lecture on this?
I'm not lecturing.
I'm telling you.
It's a dangerous
world out there.
This is New York,
not Mexico.
I didn't do anything.
I'm just saying "if,"
that's all.
O.K. "If."
[Bell Rings]
Al.
Hmm?
You should
separate those.
You can't mix
the white ones and dark ones.
The dye from the dark ones
gets in the white ones.
You're an expert
on laundry?
Well, actually,
I know a lot about laundry.
I like doing laundry.
I find it very relaxing.
Go figure.
Go get some sleep. We're going
to practice at 8:30 a.m. Sharp.
Um...
Al, did you lie to me?
What are you talking about?
Well... you said that I wouldn't
have to pitch this year.
I didn't say that.
I said you wouldn't
have to pitch
if the Yankees didn't
win the pennant.
It's a shoe-in.
Doorman said so.
The doorman?
The doorman is a man
with an animal's brain.
Just get
some sleep, O.K.?
I'm still not ready
to pitch, Al.
Why do you think
we need to practice?
Who's gonna catch me?
Al Percolo.
You're gonna catch me?
I'm too fast for you. I'll hurt you.
Just rest your little head
and let me worry
about this.
I've taken your speed
into consideration.
Come on, pitcher,
pitcher, pitcher!
Fire it in, pitcher,
pitcher, pitcher!
Al, I don't want
to pitch right now.
O.K.? Come on. I'm fine.
I don't need to practice.
It's me.
Let's go get some eggs.
No eggs!
We're here to pitch.
Now, come on.
You felt like it earlier.
Well, I don't feel
like it now!
You know,
I do have moods!
It's too smoggy
in here.
He's smellin'
the fumes.
Charlie, shh!
I brought you to watch.
O.K. Just tellin' you,
it's fumey.
I don't want to do this
right now.
Later. I'm getting
a headache.
It's the fumes.
Charlie, quiet, or I'll ask you
to wait in the car.
Now, look. I don't care
whether you feel
like it or not.
What if you're on the mound,
and you don't feel like it?
You going to run
and get eggs?
Now pitch. Right now.
Please.
All right!
I'll pitch.
Shit!
All right,
come on.
Look, will you put
your glove up?
Want me to knock
your arm off at the elbow?
No, no, no, no.
O.K., fire it in!
Yeah, right.
[Car Alarm Goes Off]
Boy, is he wild.
I don't want to do this anymore.
It isn't fun.
If you want me,
I'll be at Dr. Aaron's.
It's all coming down
to this-- one pitch,
Playoff games do not get
any more exciting,
Tigers with
the bases loaded,
Davis on third,
Fielder on second,
Fryman at first,
Mickey Tettleton at bat,
Yankees one pitch away
from a World Series,
Abbott into the windup,
the pitch...
he struck him out!
The Yankees
win the pennant!
The Yankees
win the pennant!
And Steve Nebraska will
pitch in the World Series,
The crowd is going crazy,
Just listen!
Look what I made.
So the doorman
was nuts, huh?
It was a
one-in-a-million chance.
I never thought
it would have happened.
Yeah, you're right.
Hey, whose favorite
late-night snack?
I'm not hungry
right now, Al.
Steve, I--
What would you
like me to do?
Undo what you did.
Get him back into
that Kong baseball mode.
Put the psychological
stuff on hold.
We got the greatest ballplayer
in the world here,
and he's pissed off
when you bring it up.
Could you see him
in his uniform?
If he thinks you like it,
he'll like it.
He really trusts you now.
He picks up the fact
you're not a big baseball fan.
I'm very interested
in his work.
He ain't picking that up.
O.K.
Um...Steve is making
significant improvement.
He is?
Significant improvement.
If I were in your shoes,
I wouldn't worry
about it.
Don't worry.
Don't worry about it.
Hmm. I never
thought of that.
Just try not to worry then.
Great.
Thanks for
the medical advice.
You know, I probably
should write that down
because I know
I'm going to forget it.
I have
a patient coming.
O.K.
Take care now.
Sorry to rush you.
I do have someone
else coming in.
See you next time.
I appreciate you
talking to me.
One last question,
if you don't mind.
Hmm?
Do you know now what is
wrong with him exactly?
Can you tell?
Steve has had
an abusive father,
and he's blocked
a lot of painful memories,
and we're trying to
reconnect his life.
Oh.
Bye-bye, now.
How much longer does that
kind of thing take to fix?
Just ballpark.
Week? More?
Welcome,
diamond devotees,
to the first game
of the World Series,
Yes, it's
the 91st fall classic,
The American League champion
New York Yankees,
the pinstripers, versus the kings
of the senior circuit,
the red birds of St. Louis,
the Cardinals,
I'm Bob Costas,
My first World Series,
at least in the capacity
of play-by-play man,
For you, Tim,
your eighth,
Relax,
It's a piece of cake,
Only 800 million viewers
tuning in,
[Turns TV Off]
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Yankee Stadium,
[Crowd Cheering]
Steve! Over here!
We made it.
Hey, kid, you better hurry.
Warmups are about over.
He doesn't need
to warm up.
He doesn't need
to warm up?
Nah, he doesn't need it.
You O.K.?
I don't feel
so good.
You had that big lunch.
It's not that, Al.
You're nervous.
You'd be crazy not to be.
I'm not crazy, O.K.?
I'm not.
I didn't mean it.
Just a figure of speech.
I'm going to
leave you alone.
Just relax, get dressed,
and remember,
when you go out on the mound,
you're King Kong.
O.K.?
Let's get him dressed
right away, O.K.?
If you need me,
I'll be
with Mr. Steinbrenner.
We've gone through a 162-game
marathon regular season...
A little for you?
No.
He's O.K.?
Getting dressed
as we speak.
Hey, Al. Come here.
Yes, sir.
Here. Have a glass.
That's 6 bucks.
With what
I'm paying this kid,
I got to get it back
anyway I can.
6 bucks.
That's a joke,
right?
You're the only one laughing.
Let's go, Nebraska.
Hi. Can I please speak
with Dr. Harriet Aaron?
Can you get her?
O.K., um,
I'd like to leave a message.
Steve Nebraska.
Yeah, it's me.
Um, can you tell her please
if she calls in
that I'm at Yankee Stadium?
And, um--
Come on. We're being introduced.
Get dressed.
O.K. She can get me
over the loudspeaker system.
I got to go pitch
the first game
of the World Series now.
So I'm going to go.
If Nebraska pitches the perfect game
many are predicting,
we won't go much more
than two hours,
If you figured
that out
and paid
the scalper's price,
it would come out to
750 bucks per ticket per hour,
Listen, I wouldn't eat those
right before the game.
His $52 million deal
has been broken down
to about $10,000 an hour,
O.K. I'll take care
of these.
Why don't you
take the field?
And pitching
for the New York Yankees,
Steve Nebraska,
And now to sing
our national anthem...
Mr. Tony Bennett,
You going to sing
this one for me, too?
Now here's Tony Bennett
stopping and saying something
to Steve Nebraska.
Everybody wants to talk
to Steve Nebraska.
All right, finally.
Here we go.
We're set.
Our national anthem.
~ Oh, say, can you see ~
~ By the dawn's ~
Where are you going, man?
What are you doing?
I'm just going to
go over there.
~What so proudly
we hailed ~
~ At the twilight's
last gleaming? ~
Where are
you going, kid?
~Whose broad stripes
and bright stars ~
~Through
the perilous fight ~
Hey, I'm surprised
to see you down here.
Game time, huh?
Ain't you supposed to be
on the field now?
They're singing
the anthem.
Thought I'd get
some fresh air.
You got to
play now, man.
You got some
fresh air out there.
I thought maybe I'd get
some other kind of air.
Um, I'll be back
in a little while.
[Knocks Over Bats]
I'm going to go
for a walk.
~ Oh, say, does that
star-spangled ~
~ Banner yet wave ~
~ O'er the land
of the free ~
~ And the home
of the brave ~~
Boy, what
a rendition, huh?
Does that ever set
the stage for drama,
We're back with the first pitch
of the World Series
right after this,
Why did Nebraska leave?
I have no idea.
I didn't even
see him leave.
Al, telephone.
I didn't give out
the number.
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Percolo.
This is Ben.
Uh, who?
Yeah, Ben. You know.
I work in the
clubhouse.
Hi, Ben. How are you?
What?
Your friend Steve,
he left.
No, he didn't.
No, he's here.
He can't.
That's not happening.
Nah. No, no.
I'm on a phone here
that's not really something
I should be using.
Call me at home tonight.
I'll work it out.
I'll get a pen.
I don't have that number.
Absolutely, and say hello
to the missus then.
Bye.
I'll be back.
Problems?
None.
Excuse me.
There's some kind
of stall here,
We're actually about
four minutes behind
the scheduled time
for the first pitch,
Is Steve here?
Why would he be here?
He's got to
be here.
Sorry.
Said he went out
for air.
I don't even know
what that means.
Let me borrow
the binoculars.
Quickly.
Oh, my God.
I took this Kong thing
too far.
What?
All right, guys,
Hold it down,
Just one at a time,
He's up on the roof?
What is he doing?
Whose idea was it
to put Steve Nebraska
up on the roof?
The roof?
Was it your idea?
I don't think
the stadium crowd's yet aware
of this dramatic--
Where are you going?
To see Steve Nebraska.
He's on the roof.
What's going on?
It's like a fancy entrance.
He's coming to the mound
from the roof.
What will they do,
send a helicopter?
Yes.
That's exactly
what they're doing.
Get the chopper
ready, will you?
I don't know anything
about a chopper.
Call Steinbrenner.
He'll take care of it.
Sure. Send it up.
It's a brilliant idea.
It's the way
it ought to be.
They're going to bring
Steve down to the mound
in my helicopter
from the roof.
You can't do that.
It's show biz.
God, I love it.
Steve.
Hey, Al.
What are you doing,
Steve?
Uh, I just, um...
I was, uh...
I needed
a little fresh air.
I was feeling
claustrophobic.
You were feeling claustrophobic
out on the field?
This is what George Steinbrenner
brings to the Yankees,
a real sense
of excitement,
Can you believe this?
What an entrance,
You got to hand it
to the guy,
Most teams bring
their pitchers
in those silly
golf carts,
but not
George Steinbrenner,
There's his chopper
swinging in
over right field
right now, Bob,
How about that?
They're giving me credit for it.
Yeah. I wonder whose
idea it really was.
Well, it's mine now,
stupid.
I don't feel like
playing tonight, Al.
Maybe some other time.
Some other time?
I see.
When would
that time be?
Easter?
Would that be
better for you?
How about
Christmas Eve?
Seems Al Percolo,
the scout who discovered
Steve Nebraska,
is up there with him
giving him some
last-minute words of wisdom,
Yeah, and Al Percolo
has reportedly been under
a psychiatrist's care,
Unfortunate, but we
hope and pray he's O.K.
What do you think
they're talking about?
It's hard to tell,
Robert.
Probably strategy,
game plan.
I don't care
what you feel like!
What have I been
telling you?
You're a professional!
You play whether
you feel like it or not!
You're not some
high school kid!
You're a Yankee!
Now get down there
and stop being a baby!
Don't you call me
a baby!
You have no idea what's
going on inside my head!
I don't care what--
I don't care what's
going on inside your head!
I don't care
about that!
If you don't stop
yelling at me,
I'm going to throw you
off this fucking roof!
Throw me off
the roof!
I mean it!
I want you to!
If I go down
the stairs,
they put me in jail!
If you
throw me off,
I'd get a ride
in an ambulance!
I broke my ass
for you.
I discovered you!
I got you the deal!
I found you the doctor!
I feed you!
You stay with me!
This is how you're
going to repay me?
Forget it.
What?
Forget it.
I never thought
I'd say this.
Screw the World Series.
If you don't
want to pitch,
don't pitch.
You won't get mad at me?
No, I won't be mad
at you.
Don't worry
about me now.
I'm sorry I yelled.
This is your life.
You do want you
want to do.
I'm nothing in this.
I'm just a stupid scout
that was lucky enough
to see you play.
You're the one
that counts. Not me.
No.
Al, you're like
a dad to me.
But I'm not
your dad.
I'm just a guy
taking 15%
I thought it was 10.
No.
10 the first 6 months,
then we bumped--
Well, what difference
does it make?
You're not going to
play anyway.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Still be my friend?
Yeah,
I'll be your friend.
I'm sure
we'll be closer
since nobody will want
to talk to either of us.
I really appreciate
this, Al. I do.
Who's going to pitch
if I don't?
Oh, let's not worry
about the lineup now.
The only lineup we should
be concerned about
is the police lineup.
If I pitched, what's the worst
that could happen?
You'd lose.
I'd lose.
I'd lose.
Well, that's not so bad
'cause half the guys
down there lose every night.
Yeah.
I wouldn't aim
for it,
but that's all
that would happen.
Well, maybe I should try.
Yeah. I want to do it.
Let's pitch.
You sure?
Yeah. What are you doing
later on?
I don't have
any plans, no.
Maybe we could do
some laundry.
You love that laundry,
don't you?
I do.
I got a deal
for you.
You go pitch,
I'll buy the bleach.
You don't get it,
do you?
You don't need bleach.
People spend money
on stuff
they really don't need.
You get a lemon,
cut it in half,
get a little salt--
Go play ball.
We can talk bleach
for hours later.
What are you doing?
King Kong wouldn't
take the stairs.
Your chariot awaits you.
Go get 'em.
The Yankee
copter's pilot
has dropped
a rope ladder down,
Too dangerous to land
on the stadium roof
with all that
electrical equipment,
But, look, it's working,
They're lifting off
and taking Steve along
for the ride,
1,000 feet over
the playing field,
He's made it
to the cabin,
The pilot's checking for
a safe landing on the field,
Steve Nebraska heading
down toward the mound.
This is it. Game time.
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
All right,
baseball fans,
Your long wait
is just about over,
All the anticipation,
all the speculation,
and now, finally,
the moment has arrived,
Play ball!
Can Steve Nebraska
deliver on all that promise?
The kid stands
astride the mound,
ready to deliver his first pitch
in the big leagues,
He's got the sign
he wants,
The wind,
and the pitch,
Whoa! Did you see that?
Could you see that?
105 miles an hour,
and right down
the heart of the plate,
Oh, man,
is this kid humming?
This kid is
absolutely for real,
Wasting no time,
Rocks into his motion,
and brings the next one home,
Strike 2, This one
is clocked at 106,
If this keeps up,
they'll have to
reinvent the radar gun
when it comes to
young Steve Nebraska,
Folks, we are in for
some kind of ball game,
You're out!
Strike 3! You're out!
One comes up,
one goes down in this game,
Steve Nebraska
is simply unbelievable,
Here he comes,
Steve Nebraska's first time at bat,
Tewksbury a much different
kind of pitcher
than Nebraska--
control artist,
breaking ball guy,
Iikes to mix it up,
He looks in,
gets the sign he wants,
and here's the pitch
to Nebraska,
Swung on,
and a long, high drive,
Oh, man,
did he powder this one,
Has to be 425 feet
if it's an inch,
And, yes, Steve Nebraska
can swing the bat
as well as toss
the horsehide,
And thanks to Nebraska,
the Yankees pull ahead
1 to nothing,
Steve Nebraska
is one man away
from becoming
the first pitcher in history
to accomplish
a mind-boggling feat--
27 up, 27 down,
81 pitches,
all of them strikes,
And look who's advancing
to the plate--
Ozzie Smith himself,
0 for 2 tonight,
but five homers
in the playoffs
in an unexpected
outburst of power,
What a season
he's had,
If anybody can break
this Nebraska streak,
Ozzie Smith could
be the guy to do it,
Nebraska peers in
at the Wizard of Oz,
rocks into his motion
and delivers--Oh, man!
Looks like the kid's prepared
to deliver on his promise,
Steve Nebraska trying
to put the finishing touches
on a masterpiece,
And his pitch...
strike 2!
I cannot believe this,
This is
beyond excitement,
I mean, this is over
the rainbow,
His 81st pitch
of the night coming up,
Oh, my gosh!
Where did that come from?
What the hell
was that?
I think it was a strike.
Strike 3! You're out!
112 miles an hour!
It's a record
in every respect,
81 pitches,
27 up, 27 down,
It's a record,
And the Yankees win 2-0,
Hey! Al!
[Imitating King Kong]
With my
personal trainer,
from Tampa Bay, Florida,
Tony Little,
[Applause]
Hey, Tony, welcome,
Thank you
for being here,
Let me
ask you a question,
95% of people
gain their weight back,
Is it ever going to end?
We're going to educate them,
Let me show you something,
what I call "fitness past,"
What's all this?
[Grrr]
The original!
Ha! I can't believe it.
Ohh... Thanks.
This is a sign.
He's always been king
of his world,
We'll teach him fear,
"We're millionaires, boys.
I'll share it with all of you."
He was a king
and a god
in the world he knew,
But now he comes
to civilization,
merely a captive,
a show to gratify
your curiosity,
"Ladies and gentlemen..."
look at...
"Kong, the eighth wonder
of the world."
[Fanfare]
There he is.
If only he could pitch.
Good one now.
Come on! Heads up!
Put it in there.
Strike!
Hello, fellas.
Well, well, the pride of the Yankees.
They fly you down in their private jet?
In fact, they offered. Yeah.
I heard you were in big trouble.
Where'd you hear that?
The kid you found, McGowan?
He's zero for 60?
0 for 61.
You didn't see last night's game.
Who cares about last night's game?
Let me tell you how it works.
The world's a jungle.
You walk into the jungle,
come out with Kong,
you're a hero.
They forget about
last night's game.
Who's Kong?
Catcher, Iowa State.
No, the animal!
In the movies.
Forget it.
Strike!
Whew! The kid can pitch.
He's gonna finish
college, too.
What's he now,
junior?
Freshman.
Freshman?
3 1 /2 years,
can't touch him.
Can't even talk
to his parents.
They're devout
Catholics.
Well, I learned one thing,
no use salivating
over a player
you're never gonna get,
right, Phil?
Right.
If my bosses call,
tell 'em I already showed up.
By the way, I'm leaving now.
You can make fun of me.
Yeah, don't worry. We will.
Tommy!
How are you?
Good.
I'm Al Percolo...
scout with the New York Yankees.
Wow. The Yankees?
I didn't know you guys were coming.
Here we are.
Listen, you're really good.
Thanks.
You're gonna finish
school though, huh?
It's not my idea.
I'd kill to play
for the Yankees,
but that's what
my parents want.
I thought
you wanted to finish.
No, but what am I gonna do?
Let me talk to your parents.
Want to come have dinner?
Tonight? I wasn't really invited.
I'm inviting you.
I accept.
Mmm. These carrots
are so sweet,
you could eat them
for dessert.
Thank you.
You know, the Yankees
are very geared to religion.
I couldn't help noticing
that beautiful painting
up there.
That's virtually
the same exact picture
that hangs in the clubhouse.
Terrific likeness, isn't it?
You've heard
of Mickey Mantle?
Did you know
his sister was a nun?
I hadn't heard that.
Yes, indeed,
a very famous one.
What was her name?
Gee, I believe
it was also Micki,
but with an "I."
Sister Micki
Elizabeth Mantle.
Some nun.
Tommy, you haven't
touched your food.
I'm not hungry.
It's no excuse.
Finish your food.
He reminds me of me.
Couldn't get me to finish my food
if you paid me.
Now try to keep me away.
May I say something?
Yeah.
I believe education
is most important
and that people
should finish school.
I know Tommy does, too.
But Tommy has a dilemma,
and that is that...
he's gifted.
And he's really concerned.
What does he do
with that gift?
Does he sign on the dotted line
right now, make $500,000,
go to the biggest city
in the world,
and become a member of the most
prestigious baseball team that ever was,
or does he continue
his schooling,
possibly trip over a book
on the way to math class
and be worth nothing?
But he knows that with the kind of money
you make in baseball,
even if you didn't
finish school,
your education
doesn't have to stop.
Tommy knows that many
of the ballplayers hire tutors.
Did you know that?
Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb,
Lou Gehrig...
they all had tutors
with them in the dugout.
Lou Gehrig...
had a tutor?
Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah.
Didn't he also have
a terrible disease?
He did, but he didn't
get it from the tutor.
I think he got that
in college.
So you can see
Tommy's dilemma.
Do I take God's gift
and go play for the greatest
baseball team that ever lived,
or do I stay in a small school
and hope I don't trip?
Is this what
you were thinking, Tommy?
That's exactly...right.
I can have a tutor, Mom,
right in the dugout.
Please, Mom, let me play.
Please?
Please?
Please?
And in his major league
debut... Tommy Lacy.
What a great afternoon
for Yankee baseball,
I'm Bobby Mercer,
along with John Sturly,
the radio voice
of the Yankees,
John has seen
Tommy Lacy pitch,
I sure have,
a year ago,
We gave up Reynolds
for Lacy?
Sure hope it's
the right thing to do.
Wait till you
see him pitch.
You'd give up two Reynolds
to get him.
By the way, how come he's not
with the team?
I wouldn't worry
about it.
[Vomiting]
[Toilet Flushes]
You feeling better,
Tommy?
No.
Come on, son.
You got to take the mound.
It's game time.
No, I can't.
Tell them I can't.
What do you mean you can't?
There's 30,000 people
sitting out there
just waiting
to see you pitch.
Tell them I can't.
I can't do it.
I ain't telling them
nothing.
You tell them.
Aagg.
What?
Get him out of there.
Well, crawl underneath.
I don't care
what you do.
Just get him
out of there.
Al.
Al!
Your kid's locked himself
in the crapper.
What?
Lacy's locked
in the crapper.
He won't come out.
Here we go,
The Yankees take the field,
Kid, you're supposed
to be on the field!
Listen, I made
a mistake, O.K.?
O.K. I need the Lord.
What's going on?
I want the Lord.
He don't want
to play, Al.
Let me talk to him.
Tommy, Al Percolo.
How are ya?
Mr. Percolo,
I made a mistake.
I got to go home.
You can't go home,
Tommy.
People are waiting. Everyone
wants to see you pitch.
Come on.
I can't pitch
for a crowd this size.
I can't do it.
You've pitched in front
of full stadiums at home.
What's the difference?
It wasn't Yankee Stadium.
It's-- I don't
want to be here.
I'll give the money back.
I don't want it back,
you son of a bitch.
Sorry, Tommy.
I'm on the line here.
I gave up a draft choice
to get you.
Just compose yourself, get out there,
and play a good game.
No, I can't do it.
I want the Lord.
I need the Lord.
Shh, shh, shh.
Let me tell you something.
Listen.
The Lord wants you
to play baseball.
Yes, he does.
He wants me
to finish school.
No, he doesn't.
God's not interested
in people finishing school.
He doesn't care about
the graduation ceremonies.
That's why they're
in the afternoon.
They'd be at night
if it was important.
So, go out there
and play ball.
This is what
God wants you to do.
I don't know much,
but I know this.
God wants you
to pitch.
I think I made a mistake.
God says people
can make mistakes.
God never said
people make mistakes.
Where did you hear
that shit?
God said nothing
like that.
He said honor thy father,
thy mother,
and thy Yankee contract.
I'm coming under.
There's some delay.
Apparently, Tommy Lacy is still
in the locker room.
I know what he's doing.
He's looking at himself
in the mirror
in that Yankee uniform
and can't get over it.
It's a stunning sight,
first time you put that on.
Something seems to happen.
Come on.
No, no! Please!
Now, listen to me.
Use your change-up
sparingly, understand?
You're going to be fine.
No! Aah!
[Organ Plays Charge]
[Mexican Hat Dance Plays]
What's the trouble?
No trouble.
He's out there,
isn't he?
Lacy's first warmup
pitch was very wild,
way over Jackson's head.
[Woman]
Get it over the plate, dummy!
Another wild pitch,
Lacy cannot find
his control.
What is this?
Is this a joke,
these warmups?
They're warmups.
That's what they're for.
To see how far away
he can throw it from the men?
You're getting closer.
Looking for
a pitching coach?
Lacy has stopped
his warmups.
Now he's looking
as if to--
Oh, my goodness!
Uh-oh. That's
a little embarrassing.
Tommy must've eaten some
bad food before coming out
because he has regurgitated
all over the mound.
And here comes
the cleaning crew.
Well, we've just seen
a baseball first.
Tommy Lacy taking
himself out of the game.
Listen, it happens to fighters,
it happens to runners.
You eat that bad turkey,
this is what
happens to you.
No, no, no.
Don't stop him.
Just let him go.
I don't care.
Just let him go.
Just a case
of butterflies.
I've seen it
a thousand times.
He's gonna be fine.
Right now, he's
running down the road
with his clothes
over his back.
You wanna run after him
and tell him he's gonna be fine?
He's running where?
I don't know, Al.
Somewhere towards
the turnpike.
I want to see you in my office
in five minutes.
Tommy Lacy's very expensive,
very brief big league debut,
Vapadelapa, Nochitos,
Escondrio...
Playa Del Muerte.
Huegos...
I never heard of any
of these places.
They're a little off
the beaten track, Al.
You're the first scout we've ever sent
this deep into Mexico.
But is there
baseball there?
Oh, I'm sure there is.
Maybe not in the form
we know it,
but I'm gonna expect a daily report
from each of these towns.
Come on. You know I'm not
gonna find anybody there.
It's a waste of time.
Is this a grudge trip?
Yes, it is, Al.
Well, why don't you
just fire me?
I thought of that.
I like this better.
If you're trying
to banish me,
at least pick a place
where somebody
plays baseball.
What about Alaska
or Canada?
If I had my choice,
it'd be a leper colony.
I think it's illegal.
This will have to do.
Adios.
Hasta la vista,
You be safe, Al.
Beep beep
Ahh
Beep beep
Ahh
Beep beep
~ Ahh, beep beep ~
~ Ahh ~
~ Beep beep ~
~ Ahh, beep beep ~
~ Ahh ~
~ Beep beep ~
~ Ahh, beep beep ~
Vapadelapa.
Vapadelapa.
Right here.
~ Bang bang ~
~ Money, money ~
~ Cornbread ~
~ Margarine ~
~ Cornbread ~
~ Gootchie, gootchie,
gootchie ~~
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's a foot?
Is that a foot?
Huh? No, no.
Where I come from
that's a felony.
No, thank you.
[Speaking Spanish]
Where are the umpires?
Any umpires out there?
You just want to
share that, don't you?
You finish it.
I'll use the napkin.
Senor Ramirez, telefono,
Senor Ramirez,
Where's the pitcher
going?
Telephone call.
Telephone call?
How do you like that?
No, no, no, no.
No.
Safe!
It's pouring.
They're not gonna stop?
Too much rain-o.
You know, the rain's
pouring...down.
They should stop.
No stop. Stop-po rain.
Uh, alto,
Alto 'cause of the rain.
No, senor, they wait
for the rain.
Better slide.
[Coughing]
[Horn Honks]
Whoa!
[Beep]
No!
Whoaa!
What is this,
a kennel?
How are ya?
My God, this is
really a dump.
Here.
[Electronic Translator]
Quiero un habitacion con bano?
I speak enough where
we don't have to do that.
You're kidding?
You know,
I didn't mean dump
in the traditional
sense.
Name?
Percolo. I have
a reservation.
P-E-R-C-O-L-O.
Si, Percolo.
You got a credit card?
Oh, yeah.
What brings you here?
Are you visiting?
No, no, no. I'm here
to see a baseball game.
I'm a scout.
Oh, you must be here
to see Steve Nebraska.
Who?
Steve Nebraska.
That's not why you're here?
I don't know
who that is.
You don't know
who that is?
That's the greatest ballplayer
that ever lived.
That's who he is.
And this is
the Four Seasons.
You're in for a treat.
Really?
Well, I hope so.
You got a porter that could
help me with the bags?
No. You want the job?
Ron, I can barely
hear you.
I don't even know
if you can hear me.
As usual, I have
nothing new to report.
Uh, hold on, Al.
I want more details
than that.
More details?
All right.
Yesterday
I saw a game played
by five men,
two women, a child,
and a goat
at third base.
Really?
Was the goat any good?
Very funny, Ron.
I got to go.
I got a game to see.
Enjoy the game.
Uh, my regards
to the goat.
[Band Plays]
[Gong Sounds]
[Band Plays
The Star-Spangled Banner]
[Band Forgets Music]
Play ball!
[Band Plays Charge]
- Nebraska!
- Nebraska!
Strike!
Strike!
Strike 3!
This is unreal!
Jesus!
Strike 3!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Don't tell me
he can hit, too.
I found him.
I found him! I found him!
I found Kong! I found Kong!
Oh, my God Almighty!
[Singing In Spanish]
They just don't leave you
alone around here.
They love you.
Mmm, I love this salad.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
Want one?
No. I ate at the game.
Rat dog, huh?
What?
[Laughing]
That's a joke, right?
I'm just kidding.
They got good stuff
there.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe it.
You're from the Yankees?
That is so cool.
Well, they're certainly
a legendary team.
Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't imagine
playing for the Yankees.
I mean,
that's just too much.
The Yankees would be
lucky to have you.
Are you kidding?
I don't know.
I don't think the competition
down here's so great.
Maybe I'm just
playing good
because I'm not playing
against anybody.
You don't have
any competition.
I have never seen anybody pitch
like that in my whole life.
You ever had it clocked?
Gotta be over 100 miles
an hour.
Think so?
And where did you learn
to hit like that?
I just get the bat off
my shoulder and...
God, I am so lucky no other scouts
have ever seen you play.
A while ago, this guy
from Chicago came down,
but he got sick...
and he died.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, Lord!
[Speaking Spanish]
You again.
"Steve Ne-bra-ska."
Gracias,
De nada,
You're like a god
around here.
I guess they like me.
I'd say that.
Want to know a secret?
Yeah, sure.
I have never paid for
a taco here once...ever.
That's a secret?
It's safe with me.
So how did you
wind up in Mexico?
You got family down here?
No.
Where are they?
Who?
Your family.
Where are they?
Oh, them.
They're, um...
they're, um...
they're in the...
I don't really know
where they are.
They're just
kind of, um...
Steve.
Hmm?
Steve.
Steve. Steve.
Steve.
Steve.
Thpppt!
[Laughing]
So you're all alone here?
Well, you're here now.
Well, yes, I am.
And thank God for that.
So, what do you think,
Nebraska?
Want to be
a New York Yankee?
Would I make
some money?
Would you make some money?
You'll be one of the richest men
in the world.
You're King Kong.
You've got it all.
New York's gonna go
crazy for you.
I've never been
to New York.
I don't know anybody there.
Where would I live?
You live anywhere
you choose.
You can stay with me
if you want to.
No problem, Steve.
O.K. Let's do it.
That's it!
Uh-huh.
Hey, hey!
Oh, man!
This is the greatest!
All right.
I'll go to the hotel,
make a call,
get the ball rolling
tonight.
A few quick questions,
standard stuff.
O.K.
You don't throw up...
or run away or anything?
Como?
Huh? What?
What do you mean?
I mean, you don't
get extra nervous...
Steve, Yankee Stadium is different
from what you've ever played in.
It's a lot of people.
It's not like here.
Now, that doesn't
bother you?
No. People, that's O.K.
I can play in front
of a million people.
I don't see the people,
just the plate,
the glove, the throw.
You are beautiful!
And that's it.
No problems, right?
Nothing else bothers you?
Yeah, one thing
bothers me.
All these questions
you're asking.
I don't like questions.
I don't like
to answer questions.
Steve, no more questions,
just statements.
We're going to New York!
It's gonna be great!
Ron, I'm on a different phone.
Don't yell.
It has nothing to do with the phone.
I like yelling.
I have found the most
astounding ballplayer
that ever lived.
I've never seen
anything like it.
He can hit, pitch.
It's extraordinary.
I stake
my reputation on it.
Your reputation?
Now that's a laugh.
Whatever.
Wait'll you see him.
You'll change your mind.
You're not bringing
anybody back with you.
Oh, yes, I am.
You can't stop me.
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
You're fired.
You're firing me?
Yeah.
So I am no longer affiliated
with the Yankees?
You got that one right.
Then he's
a free agent.
I can do whatever
I want with him.
Marry him if you want to.
This is an important moment
of my life.
We need someone
to document it.
A Mexican attorney just
happened to come in.
Would you come here,
sir?
I'm talking to the
Yankee general manager.
He has just fired me,
which means he has no rights
to Steve Nebraska.
Steve Nebraska can go
to the highest bidder.
Do you understand?
Si,
There. Documented
by an attorney,
you fat bastard!
Sir, your party
has hung up.
Huh? Where'd he go?
I don't know, sir.
Did he hear
the fat bastard part?
[Singing Take Me Out
To The Ball Game In Spanish]
Adios,
Bye.
Bye!
Ha ha! Goodbye.
Goodbye!
~ Do you know the way
to San Jose? ~
~ I've been away
so long ~
~ I may go wrong
and lose my way ~
~ Do you know
the way... ~~
You're singing
a little too loud.
I'm singing
too loudly?
And talking too loudly.
And talking too loudly?
Could you turn
that thing down?
[Shouting]
Know why that happens?
It's because you got
the earphones in your ears,
and then you can't
hear yourself speak.
~ In a week or 2
they make you a star ~~
[Humming]
What was that?
I think it's
her phone number.
You didn't even look.
How do you know?
I'm pretty sure
it's her phone number.
Just out of curiosity,
let's look at it.
I'm curious.
[Humming]
~ Away from home ~~
That must happen
to you a lot, huh?
I have a whole
box of them.
Celina.
Gloria.
~ Ba-ba-ba-ba ~~
That's terrific news,
Cliff.
And who's Peter O'Malley
sending?
Al?
Al?
Al!
I got to go.
I'll call you
tonight.
Steve!
Al!
Steve.
Have I got
great news for you.
Don't do that again.
I thought you'd left.
Leave you?
I wouldn't
count on it.
Listen,
things are heating up.
Representatives from
every major league team
are coming here tomorrow
to watch us play.
But I thought I was
going to be a Yankee.
You still could be
a Yankee.
You could be a Yankee,
a Brave,
whoever likes us
the best.
You're still going to get to pitch
at Yankee Stadium.
I got the place
for two hours.
I don't have a lot of strings,
but I pulled them all.
~ I love New York~
~The buildings
are very tall ~
~ I love New York~
~The people probably look
real small from up there ~
~ I love New York~
~ I love New York~
~ Look at all the lights
and all the people ~
~ And there's a man wearing
a dress in New York~
~We love New York~
~ It's my new home ~
~ I love New York~~
Right here.
Here. Here.
Take whatever....
Hey, good luck.
Thanks.
Listen, I got
a beautiful sister.
Here's her number.
Give her a call.
Thanks.
Come on, Al.
Look who's back.
Ah, Mr. Percolo,
welcome back.
Hi, Danny.
How you doing?
Danny, Steve Nebraska,
maybe the greatest ballplayer
that ever lived.
Steve's staying with me
for a while, so be nice.
That's wonderful.
You're a ballplayer,
huh?
Who do you play for?
We don't know yet,
but whoever it is,
Al says we're
gonna be rich.
Ha ha. Come on.
Rich!
Come on.
It's not a good idea
to say you're
gonna be rich.
It always
works out badly.
Well...
Iet's go back down there
and tell him that we're
not gonna be rich.
It's too late now.
People always believe
the first thing
they hear.
[Saxophonist
Practices Scales]
Home sweet home.
Wow.
Would you look
at this place?
It's huge.
It's got a view
and everything.
It's of another building,
but I guess it's a view.
Nobody broke in.
I feel rich already.
Take the bedroom.
I'll sleep out here.
I'm all right here.
I don't want you
screwing up your back.
Take the bedroom.
O.K.
Look at the size
of this bed!
Don't jump on that!
That's not gonna hold!
I'm sorry.
Where's that box
of phone numbers
I had
on the airplane?
I can't believe
that people
are gonna be getting laid
in this apartment,
and I'm not one of them.
[Snoring]
Go away.
[Mumbling]
Put it down.
I hate you!
I can't stop!
Aah!
Good morning.
I want to thank you all
for coming here
on such short notice.
But, boy, have we got
a beautiful day for this.
Jesus Christ,
he's going to make speeches now.
Now in my opinion,
you're about to see
the best ballplayer
I've ever seen,
but you be the judge.
No more talk.
Time to see him.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Steve Nebraska,
right here.
Come out now!
Where is he?
Where is he, Al?
There we go,
Steve Nebraska!
Come on out.
Check the turnpike, Al.
- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!
I'm sure.
Where is he? Steve!
There he is.
Just getting his shoes on.
Steve Nebraska!
Take a few warmups,
and let me know
when you're ready.
I don't need
to warm up.
Are you sure?
He's all warmed up.
I guess that's what
he was doing.
O.K., now,
a pitcher
of Steve's quality
has got to have somebody
to pitch to.
Can you believe who's
going to help us out here?
One of the greats--
Keith Hernandez!
Keith!
Thanks a lot
for coming.
Right up there.
O.K., here we go!
Where's my money?
I don't
have it on me.
I don't do this
unless I'm paid
up-front.
I'll give you
the money, O.K.?
O.K.
Steve, fire when ready.
Excuse me...
I, um, I don't know
what those signals mean.
Then why are you shaking
your head no?
Uh, I don't know.
You're supposed
to shake no, right?
Hey, just throw
what you want to throw.
O.K., all right.
Ooh!
Holy mackerel!
I've never seen
anything like this.
How much do you
want to go on this kid?
Whatever it takes.
You got it.
Man, did you see that?
Strike 3. He's out.
Keith, step out a minute,
will you, please?
Larry, did you clock him?
It's broken.
It says 6 then 7
then 9.
It had to be
faster than that.
That's 109.
Oh, no, it can't be.
This thing doesn't
go over 100.
See the asterisk?
That means
you've reached 100,
then you've got
your number-- 109.
God damn.
If all Steve did
was pitch,
that would be
pretty good,
but he likes
to hit, too.
I wanted to give him
the best competition,
so to help us out...
Bret Saberhagen.
Bret, thanks a lot.
I appreciate it.
I haven't been
paid yet.
What is it
with you guys?
It's in the mail.
Keith said I'm supposed
to get paid first.
He's just
a mistrustful fellow.
That was the agreement.
$9 million,
he needs my money.
Whoa!
O.K. if I switch?
Do whatever
you want.
Well, there you have it.
Where'd this guy
come from?
The bidding's going to go
differently than you're used to.
All sealed bids will be
delivered to me
within one hour.
How come you're
accepting the bids?
Who authorized you?
Steve did.
Remember when
you let me go?
He hired me.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yankee letterhead.
Look at
Steinbrenner.
Pokerfaced.
Ladies and gentlemen...
thank you for waiting.
We're ready to announce
now the winning bid.
We want to thank
you all very much.
Uh...
I've never done
this before.
I'm a scout,
not a speaker.
I'm a little nervous
at this.
I want to thank
all of the clubs.
All of the bids were
very, very respectable,
but like a baseball game,
somebody has to win,
and somebody did.
With a bid
of $55 million
over the next
four years,
Steve Nebraska
is very proud to be
a New York Yankee!
Thank you for coming, and
we'll see you on the field.
$55 million
after one tryout?
How can you
justify that?
I have to go
with my gut instinct.
After what I saw today,
he's worth every
penny of it.
So he's pitching
right away?
He's pitching as soon as
we get him in uniform.
That's not the way
the deal was structured.
It isn't?
Uh, Mr. Wilson may
not be informed,
but the teams were in agreement
that no matter who got Steve,
because we're far
into this season,
Steve doesn't want to take
any blame or credit,
so he would get a fresh start
next year as a Yankee.
Well, just a minute.
What are you saying?
We can't play him
this year?
Stop taking my picture.
You got 32 already.
Mr. Wilson is asking
what would happen
if the New York Yankees
would get into
the World Series?
- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!
Why are they
laughing, Al?
I'm going to make
a deal right now.
If the Yankees get
in the World Series,
Steve Nebraska
pitches the first game.
All right?
Does that mean I pitch
the first game?
It can never happen.
Don't worry.
How many years
did you play in Mexico?
Steve, where
do you live?
Um, I don't know.
Al, Al, Al, Al!
Al, Al, Al, Al!
All right, all right.
Folks, it's been
a very long morning.
He's tired.
Just give him a break.
No more pictures.
Put him down!
Put him down!
Now, gentlemen--
All right.
I just want to reiterate
on behalf
of George Steinbrenner...
O.K., it's official.
[Applause]
Congratulations,
Steve.
Al, I want to talk
to you for a minute.
Be right back, kiddo.
Al, we're going to need
a little something from you.
Your lawyer didn't tell you
about the letter?
What are you talking about?
What letter?
Before we pay him,
we'll need a letter
from a psychiatrist
saying that
he's all right.
You already
paid him the money.
He just signed
the contract.
That was ceremonial.
Your lawyer knows this.
This is the most
amount of money
anybody has ever been paid.
Mr. Steinbrenner
wants assurances
that Steve won't flake out
like your other picks.
I find this insulting.
This is ridiculous.
Did you see him pick up
that photographer?
So what?
I told him to.
Then I told him to put him down,
which he did.
I find this
very insulting.
I'll have the letter
tomorrow.
We can set you up
with a doctor if you like.
My sister was
in the field.
As long as
they're qualified.
Well, of course
they'll be qualified.
I'm not an idiot.
"Physicians...
physicians...
plastic surgery...
anesthetic...
dietary...
psychiatry...
affiliated...
Dr. H. Aaron!"
Oh, boy!
Hammering Hank,
yes, indeed.
Hey, Steve.
Save a little
of that appetite for lunch.
Hello?
Dr. H. Aaron, please.
This is she.
You're kidding.
I'd like to come
see you right now.
Is that a possibility?
Who am I speaking to?
I'm Al Percolo, and I'm with
the New York Yankees.
Would you like
an appointment?
I'd like one now.
If you're still at that address
in the Yellow Pages,
I could scoot over now.
Is this an emergency?
Well...
yes, yes.
Yes, it is.
I'll see you
in 45 minutes.
O.K., we'll waste
a little...
Well, we'll see you
in 45 minutes.
Fantastic.
I did it.
10 minutes
with this broad,
we got the letter.
You know, last night
you were really having
quite a little nightmare.
No, I wasn't.
You weren't?
Maybe it was me.
Yep.
Cranham Center.
This is it.
What's she going
to do, Al?
It's like a physical,
only mental.
[Sniffling]
Was that the doctor?
Gee, I hope not.
Good morning.
I'm Dr. Aaron.
Mr. Percolo?
I'm Mr. Percolo.
Uh, could I talk to you
for a minute?
Of course.
I'll be right back.
[Sniffs]
I appreciate you seeing us
on such short notice.
Before we start,
may I ask you a question?
Sure.
You licensed?
Am I licensed?
Yes, I am licensed.
Would it be rude to...
to see a diploma?
Anything you can show me?
No one's asked
to see my diploma
since I began
the practice.
No.
Yes.
It's on the wall.
Those?
Mm-hmm.
I'll take
a quick look.
Harvard?
Whoa, whoa!
Great.
That's the real one?
Yes, that's
the real one.
Well, this is
very impressive.
Anything with
a picture on it?
Is this a joke?
Is this a joke?
I just want
to make sure it's you.
It's got to be you.
You can't put up a diploma
if it's not yours.
That's a felony,
isn't it?
Why don't you tell me
what's going on?
The kid sitting out there,
Steve Nebraska,
is probably the best
baseball player
that ever lived.
He has just signed a deal
with the New York Yankees
that's gonna make him
almost $60 million.
When you pay
that kind of money,
you want to be assured
that everything's gonna be O.K.
They just need a couple of
sentences on a letterhead
that they believe
that says
he's not gonna
shoot anybody
or run away
or throw up on the mound.
Tell me again what this letter
should say?
Address it
to George Steinbrenner.
You just want to say...
who you are
in a sentence or two.
Say that you went
to Harvard...
is the right thing
to say.
And then say
Steve's not nuts,
not gonna run away.
Good deal there.
Congratulations.
Then you'll sign
your name.
If you want to include
a xerox of the diploma,
that would be helpful.
And you could put,
"P.S. Sorry about Billy Martin."
Billy Martin?
Just a guy he kept firing
till he finally died.
Why don't I talk
to Steve,
and then we can
talk after that?
You don't want to do
the letter first?
I don't think so.
These smell so good.
Yes, it's nice.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
It's a physical.
What physical?
Al said that--
I told him
it was like a physical.
Put your pants on.
We're done.
Maybe it would be better,
Mr. Percolo,
if I spoke
to Steve alone.
All right.
Um...
I'll be right out here.
I would prefer
if Al stayed here
in the room with me.
Well, I'd really rather
talk to you alone.
I know,
but I would feel
much more
comfortable.
It's his first time,
and he's just
a little nervous,
so I'll sit here.
You won't even know
I'm in the room.
I'll disappear.
All right.
All right.
Please sit down,
Steve.
Ahem.
So, Steve,
where are you from?
I found him in Mexico.
I was asking Steve.
I answered?
Yeah.
So you're
from Mexico?
Uh, no,
I'm not from Mexico.
I was just down there
for a couple of years.
And why Mexico?
Because it's, um...
where I went.
Mm-hmm.
You don't remember what
brought you down there?
Uh-uh.
Well...
uh, not, not...
Baseball brought you
down there, didn't it?
Baseball brought me
down there.
You really like
baseball, hmm?
Yes, ma'am,
it's my favorite thing
in the whole world.
When did you
start playing?
Steve, is there
something wrong?
I just, uh...
I don't like
all these questions.
Do you sometimes feel
that there are things
that you try to remember
and can't?
Yeah. No.
I guess so.
I don't know.
You know what
I'd like to try?
I'd like to show you
some pictures.
I want you to give me
your immediate response.
Just look
at the picture,
and without
even thinking,
just tell me
what it means to you.
It's kind of like
a word-association game.
Just look
at the picture
and tell me whatever
comes to your mind.
O.K.
Who's that?
These aren't actual people.
Now what does this
look like to you?
That guy's faking it.
You can tell 'cause the doctors
don't look concerned at all.
He's just pretending
to be in a coma.
He knows if he
opens his eyes,
he's going to see his bill.
He stays in a coma
so he doesn't have
to pay his bill.
What a great idea.
Mr. Percolo, if you
keep speaking,
I'm going to have to ask you
to step outside.
Sorry.
You know, the medical costs
being what they are--
The next picture, Steve.
These guys are in trouble.
They look like
they're in trouble?
Not yet, but when
that driver gets angry,
and he's going to,
they're all going to start
screaming and crying.
It's just--
It's going to be a mess.
This one?
She sneezed.
Anything else?
Um...
she sneezed by the door.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
That's Batman.
Batman?
Batman. Sometimes
he goes without his cape.
O.K.
And this is
the last one.
[Coughs]
Fishing.
Fishing--
two guys fishing.
Very good.
Anything else?
[Sighs]
O.K., let's see.
They're...two guys
fishing for trout.
Very good.
Yeah? Yeah?
Very good.
You did very well.
I did?
Yes, absolutely.
Hey. Ha ha ha.
If you
could step outside
while I talk to Mr. Percolo,
then we'll be through.
O.K. All right,
I'll...
[Door Opens And Closes]
He's got some imagination,
doesn't he?
Boy, that coma story.
I never would have thought
that was Batman. He's something.
I'm not going to talk
in complicated medical terms
because it wouldn't
do much good anyway.
Appreciate that.
He's disconnected
in some way.
It's very interesting,
but his response
to this picture,
the father and the son,
he didn't recognize
as father and son.
Almost 98% of the people
shown that picture
immediately make
that association.
Hmm. Let me see it
for a second, may I?
I don't think that's
father and son necessarily.
Doesn't that guy look like
a fishing teacher to you?
Whatever.
Um, in any case,
his responses to
the other pictures,
they were pretty much
showing confused emotions.
It's obvious Steve's not in touch
with a part of himself.
That's one reason why he's
such a good ballplayer.
He's thinking of nothing
but hitting the ball.
And pitching the ball.
You should see.
Strike after strike, like a machine.
It's just--
It's great.
Well, O.K.,
interesting stuff.
Now, do I wait
for the letter
or do you want
to fax this over?
Well, Mr. Percolo,
I feel I can't give him a letter
that says he should play,
because I don't think he should.
You got to give him
the letter.
We--We need the letter.
Let me try and explain
something toyou.
Um, ahem, let's just suppose
that Steve has blocked something,
and then let's imagine he
suddenly remembers it.
If he should do that,
he could become very violent,
to himself
and to other people.
He should be in therapy.
He shouldn't be
playing athletics.
He's not
playing athletics.
In grammar school,
you play athletics.
He's playing
professional baseball.
Besides, violence
is a plus.
You ever see those fellas?
They're huge.
The best ballplayers
never had any memory.
Remember Whitey Ford,
great pitcher?
Know why they
called him Whitey?
He couldn't remember
his real name. No memory.
I could go on--
I really can't do it.
I'm sorry.
Ma'am, listen, I'm not
saying you're wrong, O.K.?
Maybe he's
got some problems.
But what are you doing?
He's one of the greatest
ballplayers I've ever seen,
and I've seen them all.
I'll work with you.
I'll bring him
seven days a week.
I'll bring him twice
a day if you need it.
But don't deny him
something that he loves.
Without baseball,
then--then he's got nothing.
And then he'll be,
well, he'll be the guy
you say he is.
He'll just
be poor, too.
You would bring him
every day?
Every single day.
That'll be an important
part of his life,
his working with you.
The letter's
just insurance.
I don't think he'll
play this year anyway.
They won't
get in the series.
Really, he's yours
till April.
He'll have lots of therapy
before getting on a field.
We just want him
on the roster.
That's why we
need the letter.
You got to do it.
Please.
If you promise you'll
bring him every day,
I'll write a letter
saying he can play.
You give me a letter,
I'll give one back.
You say he can play,
I'll say he'll be here.
I don't need a letter.
This worked out great.
When I saw your name
in the Yellow Pages,
I said,
"This woman's special."
I'll call in the morning,
we'll set up the schedule.
I'll come by early
for the letter.
That's fantastic.
Oh, wait a second.
Wait a second.
I think
you should know
it's likely Steve will look
to you as a father figure.
You know what?
It's already started to happen.
I'm trying to fill those shoes.
I'll do my best.
I understand,
but this a father
Steve might want to
put a bullet through.
How's he feel
about his uncles?
- You know that by looking
at those pictures?
- No.
All right,
thanks for the warning.
Uncle Al's got
good news for you. Ha.
You did great.
You think so?
She loves you, wants
to see you every day.
I don't know if I want
to see her every day.
It's a good place to
let out your problems.
I don't know her.
She's a doctor.
Once you pay her, you know her.
~You gotta have ~
~ Heart ~
~ All you really
need is heart ~
~ If you don't
have heart ~
~Then you
don't get dinner ~
~You gotta have heart ~
~ Ba da da dee ~~
That's a great movie.
It's about baseball.
Damn Yankees,
Damn Yankees,
Al!
Talk to us!
Stop ducking us!
Hey, would you
go away, please?
We're trying
to eat dinner.
Where's Steve?
He's with me.
Now, good night.
People want
to know things.
How about
a press conference?
We're not doing a press conference
like Romeo and Juliet,
We'll do it
at another time.
What are you doing?
Throwing plates.
You can't do that.
M-M-M-Move!
Aah!
M-M-M-Move!
No! No! No! No!
You can't do that!
Are you nuts?
I didn't mean that.
Don't throw plates.
Please!
No!
No! No! No! No!
I've got
a crazy landlady.
She's here
throwing things.
She'll kill ya!
More plates!
Oh, no, we're
going to get sued.
They're gone.
You got a knife
anywhere?
A what?
- I need a sharp knife.
- Why?
To cut things with.
Oh. Cut what up?
I like to cut my food
with a knife.
We're having spaghetti.
You don't need a knife.
I don't have one
in the house.
I'm all out--
I got some there.
That's the woman's
upstairs.
It's not right for us
to use them.
She's got emphysema.
So it's a bad idea.
Al, give me a knife.
What happened there?
I don't
have a knife.
I can't find one.
Oh, you know what?
Use that.
That'll do for you.
This is a butter knife.
Yeah. A nice one, too.
An ivory handle.
Well, I'm not
having butter.
You can
change your mind.
You want butter,
you got the right knife.
Go back and sing.
Great. Good.
I got to tell you,
I don't understand it...
I can't see
a damn thing.
Don't use the binoculars in the house.
You'll hurt your eyes.
For the amount of people who've seen
Steve Nebraska play...
they're talking
about you.
$55 million dollars,
What about the rumor he's
under a doctor's care?
Turn that down.
How'd they
find that out?
...If Steve Nebraska
turned out to be Jimmy Piersall?
Who's Jimmy Piersall?
Don't worry,
you're not him.
What did they say?
Hands down, the fastest
pitcher they've ever seen,
and the best hitter,
Mmm, what
are you doing?
They're talking about me.
We're going to have
to do a press conference.
Al, why? Come on, you said
I wouldn't have to pitch.
Well, you're going to pitch
eventually, aren't you?
If we don't talk to the press,
they'll keep coming.
They'll make everything up,
like the doctor.
But all that's true.
That's true. But it'll
just get worse and worse.
Next thing you'll know,
you'll be a defector.
They'll have you
killing somebody.
That would be cool.
What does that mean?
What does what mean?
Well, that it's
not cool to, uh...
No, you don't mean that.
With the money
they're paying you,
you can't throw a ball
and go home to sleep.
You got to talk
to the press.
Maybe it's not worth it.
Not worth it?
It works out to
a million dollars a question.
There's going to be
a million questions,
and I don't know
all the answers.
I don't want
to look foolish.
I'll never
let that happen.
We'll go over stuff,
just like the president.
He wakes up a fool.
They help him.
We'll go over stuff.
We'll fill in the blanks.
We'll give you a life
you can be proud of.
- Shh!
- Shh!
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm sorry for the delay.
You all set?
Hmm? Yeah. Uh, in your version,
did I go to college?
Yes. We decided that.
A very good one.
Listen to me.
If they bring up
the therapy at all,
tell them that, uh,
tell them it's
not you, it's me.
If they bring up
the therapy,
tell them that you're
taking me to the doctor.
What's wrong with you?
Nothing.
What do you mean?
I was just giving
you an answer.
If they bring up the therapy,
it's not you.
I'm going.
I'll need
another note card.
Just forget it.
Forget it.
...this press conference
will lay that to rest.
Now, uh--Oh, O.K.,
I want to give you all
a crack at the new pride of
the Yankees-- Steve Nebraska.
Are you in therapy?
Why're you in therapy,
Steve?
Ohh! Time out!
Let's all ask questions
one at a time.
Then we'll
move this along,
and I can answer
your questions.
Are you currently
in therapy?
Uh, nope.
You've been seen coming in and out
of a doctor's office.
That's because I'm taking
my friend to that office.
Who, Steve?
Al Percolo.
Your manager?
Yeah, that's right.
What's wrong
with him?
Uh...nothing.
I'm not a doctor.
Ha ha ha ha.
Where were you born?
I was born
in the Mideast.
In the Mideast?
Midwest.
West--Midwest! Ha.
I spent time
in the Mideast.
How much time?
I spent...
six years
in the Mideast,
Wait, hang on minute.
Are your parents
American?
So far as I know,
How'd you get
to the Mideast?
On an airplane,
I'll call you back.
That's Steve Nebraska
for you,
Very odd past,
Spent time in the Middle East,
hiked around Switzerland for years,
father went to Harvard,
It goes on and on,
I got to tell you something.
You did great.
You know how hard it is
to make guys laugh
at a press conference?
What if they find out
some of that stuff
I said isn't true?
How will they find out?
They're reporters.
The Yankees keep going
like they're going...
we'll see
this kid soon,
The Yankees could be
in the World Series,
Oh, please.
All New Yorkers are
crossing their fingers,
We hope Steve Nebraska's
the Yankees' gain and Cairo's loss,
And I'm hungry, too.
How could you be hungry?
You ate 30 minutes ago.
Well, let's eat again.
No, let's not eat again.
I got two words
of advice for you--
Fernando Valenzuela.
He started out a pitcher,
wound up a truck.
Hello?
Mr. Percolo,
it's, uh, Dr. Aaron.
I just saw Steve
on television.
Fantastic, wasn't he?
I need to see you
in my office right away.
Meet me there
in half an hour.
No, that'll be tough.
We're going out.
Steinbrenner's gal got us
tickets for Tony Bennett.
Could this wait?
It's important.
No, it can't wait.
One half hour, please.
All right,
we'll be there.
I just need
to see you.
Why's that?
Hello?
Dr. Aaron!
Hi.
Mr. Percolo, I can't be connected
with this anymore.
That's all.
What brought this on?
Middle East?
America's Cup?
A Rhodes Scholar?
Where's all that from?
He was worried
he'd forget stuff.
We went over
a few things.
This man is trying
to reconnect his life.
Don't make up stuff.
I was just trying
to help.
I think you two should
find another doctor.
I'm sorry,
I cannot help you.
You're the only doctor--
Oh, please.
Don't take
the letter back.
All right! I don't want
you around him anymore.
Let him come to therapy
by himself.
Oh, new rules.
You were the one who said,
"Stay with him
24 hours a day,
he might be dangerous."
I changed my mind.
You might be dangerous.
I'll accept that. But you won't
take the letter back, right?
Oh, you know...
I don't want to hear
anything more about the letter.
Goodbye.
Good night.
And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
please welcome
Mr. Tony Bennett!
~ I mean
I want to be around ~
~To see how he does it ~
~When he breaks
your heart ~
~To bits ~
~ Let's see
if that puzzle fits ~
~ So fine ~
Wow.
~That's when
I'll discover ~
~That revenge
is sweet ~
~ As I sit there
applaudin' ~
~ From a front row seat ~
~When somebody
breaks your heart ~
~Just like you
broke mine ~
~ Oh ~
~Yeah ~~
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo whoo!
- Good seats, huh?
- Huh?
You're beautiful.
Thank you so much.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have
a very special
guest here tonight
I'd love to introduce.
I'm a huge fan of
the New York Yankees.
Yeah, I am, too.
How much has he had?
A little.
They might even get
into the World Series.
What do you think?
Al...
Tony knows?
And right over here,
we have someone
who may turn out to be
greater than Babe Ruth.
One of the great
ballplayers of all time--
Mr. Steve Nebraska!
You.
Al!
Stand up.
Come on! They love you.
Come on, Steve, stand up
and take a bow.
Steve Nebraska!
[Woman]
Stand up! Stand up!
Yeah, man!
Hi.
Thank you, Tony.
Hi.
Hi.
They love you.
That's Tony Bennett!
Yes.
Sit down.
[Tony]
Steve Nebraska.
Now...
hit it, Ralph.
~ I left ~
~ My heart ~
Oh, God, no.
[Off Key]
~ In San Francisco ~
Steve, that's his! Shh!
That's his closer!
~ High on a hill ~
Oh, no.
It was your idea.
Steve!
Come on, everybody!
- No, don't do it.
- ~To be ~
~Where
little cable cars ~
~ Climb halfway
to the stars ~
Come on!
~Though morning fog ~
~ May fill the air ~
~ I don't care ~
~ My love waits there ~
[Giggling]
~ In San Francisco... ~~
Do you speak
English?
Thank God.
You were great.
I'm not kidding.
You could sing
professionally.
You think so?
I wouldn't ask Tony Bennett
for any help.
He wasn't angry, Al.
Nah. He loved having
his entire act taken.
Good night, Jennifer.
Thank George for the tickets.
Al.
Yeah?
I'm going to stay
with Jennifer
for a little while.
It's midnight, kid.
Think that's a good idea?
We're going out
for something to eat.
Something to eat?
You just had dinner.
Do you want to gain
a hundred pounds?
We talked about this.
I'll put in my mouth
what I want to.
Fine... but we're getting up
early in the morning
to practice.
I think you should get
a good night's sleep.
It's O.K., Steve.
We can do something
another time.
Just--
Just a minute.
I'll be right back.
Listen, you got to stop
telling me what to do, O.K.?
I'm gonna eat and sleep
when I want to,
and I'm gonna practice
when I want to!
'Cause I'm the Yankee!
Not you!
You got that?
Hi.
Sorry, the laundry
room is in use now.
Here.
What is that?
That's a chocolate
baseball bat.
I got it for you.
Did you drop it?
I--I got
a little hungry.
Well, I appreciate it.
I'll treasure it always.
I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
I've been going through
a lot of stuff with the doctor,
and it's bringing up
a lot of stuff,
and I'm thinking
about...
um, the...
I'm, uh, uh, ahem!
I gotta work it out.
O.K.
I appreciate the gift.
Thank you.
So did you have
a good time?
Yeah.
Did you go eat again?
Just the bat.
Don't leave that in the sun.
O.K.
So, uh...
what'd you guys do?
Went back
to her place.
Oh.
Did you, um...
Well, sorry, that's
none of my business.
Did I nail her?
Well, now that you brought it up...
did you?
No, I didn't.
If you're gonna do that...
with anybody...
you know to use
protection, don't you?
Oh, no. Now am I going
to get a lecture on this?
I'm not lecturing.
I'm telling you.
It's a dangerous
world out there.
This is New York,
not Mexico.
I didn't do anything.
I'm just saying "if,"
that's all.
O.K. "If."
[Bell Rings]
Al.
Hmm?
You should
separate those.
You can't mix
the white ones and dark ones.
The dye from the dark ones
gets in the white ones.
You're an expert
on laundry?
Well, actually,
I know a lot about laundry.
I like doing laundry.
I find it very relaxing.
Go figure.
Go get some sleep. We're going
to practice at 8:30 a.m. Sharp.
Um...
Al, did you lie to me?
What are you talking about?
Well... you said that I wouldn't
have to pitch this year.
I didn't say that.
I said you wouldn't
have to pitch
if the Yankees didn't
win the pennant.
It's a shoe-in.
Doorman said so.
The doorman?
The doorman is a man
with an animal's brain.
Just get
some sleep, O.K.?
I'm still not ready
to pitch, Al.
Why do you think
we need to practice?
Who's gonna catch me?
Al Percolo.
You're gonna catch me?
I'm too fast for you. I'll hurt you.
Just rest your little head
and let me worry
about this.
I've taken your speed
into consideration.
Come on, pitcher,
pitcher, pitcher!
Fire it in, pitcher,
pitcher, pitcher!
Al, I don't want
to pitch right now.
O.K.? Come on. I'm fine.
I don't need to practice.
It's me.
Let's go get some eggs.
No eggs!
We're here to pitch.
Now, come on.
You felt like it earlier.
Well, I don't feel
like it now!
You know,
I do have moods!
It's too smoggy
in here.
He's smellin'
the fumes.
Charlie, shh!
I brought you to watch.
O.K. Just tellin' you,
it's fumey.
I don't want to do this
right now.
Later. I'm getting
a headache.
It's the fumes.
Charlie, quiet, or I'll ask you
to wait in the car.
Now, look. I don't care
whether you feel
like it or not.
What if you're on the mound,
and you don't feel like it?
You going to run
and get eggs?
Now pitch. Right now.
Please.
All right!
I'll pitch.
Shit!
All right,
come on.
Look, will you put
your glove up?
Want me to knock
your arm off at the elbow?
No, no, no, no.
O.K., fire it in!
Yeah, right.
[Car Alarm Goes Off]
Boy, is he wild.
I don't want to do this anymore.
It isn't fun.
If you want me,
I'll be at Dr. Aaron's.
It's all coming down
to this-- one pitch,
Playoff games do not get
any more exciting,
Tigers with
the bases loaded,
Davis on third,
Fielder on second,
Fryman at first,
Mickey Tettleton at bat,
Yankees one pitch away
from a World Series,
Abbott into the windup,
the pitch...
he struck him out!
The Yankees
win the pennant!
The Yankees
win the pennant!
And Steve Nebraska will
pitch in the World Series,
The crowd is going crazy,
Just listen!
Look what I made.
So the doorman
was nuts, huh?
It was a
one-in-a-million chance.
I never thought
it would have happened.
Yeah, you're right.
Hey, whose favorite
late-night snack?
I'm not hungry
right now, Al.
Steve, I--
What would you
like me to do?
Undo what you did.
Get him back into
that Kong baseball mode.
Put the psychological
stuff on hold.
We got the greatest ballplayer
in the world here,
and he's pissed off
when you bring it up.
Could you see him
in his uniform?
If he thinks you like it,
he'll like it.
He really trusts you now.
He picks up the fact
you're not a big baseball fan.
I'm very interested
in his work.
He ain't picking that up.
O.K.
Um...Steve is making
significant improvement.
He is?
Significant improvement.
If I were in your shoes,
I wouldn't worry
about it.
Don't worry.
Don't worry about it.
Hmm. I never
thought of that.
Just try not to worry then.
Great.
Thanks for
the medical advice.
You know, I probably
should write that down
because I know
I'm going to forget it.
I have
a patient coming.
O.K.
Take care now.
Sorry to rush you.
I do have someone
else coming in.
See you next time.
I appreciate you
talking to me.
One last question,
if you don't mind.
Hmm?
Do you know now what is
wrong with him exactly?
Can you tell?
Steve has had
an abusive father,
and he's blocked
a lot of painful memories,
and we're trying to
reconnect his life.
Oh.
Bye-bye, now.
How much longer does that
kind of thing take to fix?
Just ballpark.
Week? More?
Welcome,
diamond devotees,
to the first game
of the World Series,
Yes, it's
the 91st fall classic,
The American League champion
New York Yankees,
the pinstripers, versus the kings
of the senior circuit,
the red birds of St. Louis,
the Cardinals,
I'm Bob Costas,
My first World Series,
at least in the capacity
of play-by-play man,
For you, Tim,
your eighth,
Relax,
It's a piece of cake,
Only 800 million viewers
tuning in,
[Turns TV Off]
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Yankee Stadium,
[Crowd Cheering]
Steve! Over here!
We made it.
Hey, kid, you better hurry.
Warmups are about over.
He doesn't need
to warm up.
He doesn't need
to warm up?
Nah, he doesn't need it.
You O.K.?
I don't feel
so good.
You had that big lunch.
It's not that, Al.
You're nervous.
You'd be crazy not to be.
I'm not crazy, O.K.?
I'm not.
I didn't mean it.
Just a figure of speech.
I'm going to
leave you alone.
Just relax, get dressed,
and remember,
when you go out on the mound,
you're King Kong.
O.K.?
Let's get him dressed
right away, O.K.?
If you need me,
I'll be
with Mr. Steinbrenner.
We've gone through a 162-game
marathon regular season...
A little for you?
No.
He's O.K.?
Getting dressed
as we speak.
Hey, Al. Come here.
Yes, sir.
Here. Have a glass.
That's 6 bucks.
With what
I'm paying this kid,
I got to get it back
anyway I can.
6 bucks.
That's a joke,
right?
You're the only one laughing.
Let's go, Nebraska.
Hi. Can I please speak
with Dr. Harriet Aaron?
Can you get her?
O.K., um,
I'd like to leave a message.
Steve Nebraska.
Yeah, it's me.
Um, can you tell her please
if she calls in
that I'm at Yankee Stadium?
And, um--
Come on. We're being introduced.
Get dressed.
O.K. She can get me
over the loudspeaker system.
I got to go pitch
the first game
of the World Series now.
So I'm going to go.
If Nebraska pitches the perfect game
many are predicting,
we won't go much more
than two hours,
If you figured
that out
and paid
the scalper's price,
it would come out to
750 bucks per ticket per hour,
Listen, I wouldn't eat those
right before the game.
His $52 million deal
has been broken down
to about $10,000 an hour,
O.K. I'll take care
of these.
Why don't you
take the field?
And pitching
for the New York Yankees,
Steve Nebraska,
And now to sing
our national anthem...
Mr. Tony Bennett,
You going to sing
this one for me, too?
Now here's Tony Bennett
stopping and saying something
to Steve Nebraska.
Everybody wants to talk
to Steve Nebraska.
All right, finally.
Here we go.
We're set.
Our national anthem.
~ Oh, say, can you see ~
~ By the dawn's ~
Where are you going, man?
What are you doing?
I'm just going to
go over there.
~What so proudly
we hailed ~
~ At the twilight's
last gleaming? ~
Where are
you going, kid?
~Whose broad stripes
and bright stars ~
~Through
the perilous fight ~
Hey, I'm surprised
to see you down here.
Game time, huh?
Ain't you supposed to be
on the field now?
They're singing
the anthem.
Thought I'd get
some fresh air.
You got to
play now, man.
You got some
fresh air out there.
I thought maybe I'd get
some other kind of air.
Um, I'll be back
in a little while.
[Knocks Over Bats]
I'm going to go
for a walk.
~ Oh, say, does that
star-spangled ~
~ Banner yet wave ~
~ O'er the land
of the free ~
~ And the home
of the brave ~~
Boy, what
a rendition, huh?
Does that ever set
the stage for drama,
We're back with the first pitch
of the World Series
right after this,
Why did Nebraska leave?
I have no idea.
I didn't even
see him leave.
Al, telephone.
I didn't give out
the number.
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Percolo.
This is Ben.
Uh, who?
Yeah, Ben. You know.
I work in the
clubhouse.
Hi, Ben. How are you?
What?
Your friend Steve,
he left.
No, he didn't.
No, he's here.
He can't.
That's not happening.
Nah. No, no.
I'm on a phone here
that's not really something
I should be using.
Call me at home tonight.
I'll work it out.
I'll get a pen.
I don't have that number.
Absolutely, and say hello
to the missus then.
Bye.
I'll be back.
Problems?
None.
Excuse me.
There's some kind
of stall here,
We're actually about
four minutes behind
the scheduled time
for the first pitch,
Is Steve here?
Why would he be here?
He's got to
be here.
Sorry.
Said he went out
for air.
I don't even know
what that means.
Let me borrow
the binoculars.
Quickly.
Oh, my God.
I took this Kong thing
too far.
What?
All right, guys,
Hold it down,
Just one at a time,
He's up on the roof?
What is he doing?
Whose idea was it
to put Steve Nebraska
up on the roof?
The roof?
Was it your idea?
I don't think
the stadium crowd's yet aware
of this dramatic--
Where are you going?
To see Steve Nebraska.
He's on the roof.
What's going on?
It's like a fancy entrance.
He's coming to the mound
from the roof.
What will they do,
send a helicopter?
Yes.
That's exactly
what they're doing.
Get the chopper
ready, will you?
I don't know anything
about a chopper.
Call Steinbrenner.
He'll take care of it.
Sure. Send it up.
It's a brilliant idea.
It's the way
it ought to be.
They're going to bring
Steve down to the mound
in my helicopter
from the roof.
You can't do that.
It's show biz.
God, I love it.
Steve.
Hey, Al.
What are you doing,
Steve?
Uh, I just, um...
I was, uh...
I needed
a little fresh air.
I was feeling
claustrophobic.
You were feeling claustrophobic
out on the field?
This is what George Steinbrenner
brings to the Yankees,
a real sense
of excitement,
Can you believe this?
What an entrance,
You got to hand it
to the guy,
Most teams bring
their pitchers
in those silly
golf carts,
but not
George Steinbrenner,
There's his chopper
swinging in
over right field
right now, Bob,
How about that?
They're giving me credit for it.
Yeah. I wonder whose
idea it really was.
Well, it's mine now,
stupid.
I don't feel like
playing tonight, Al.
Maybe some other time.
Some other time?
I see.
When would
that time be?
Easter?
Would that be
better for you?
How about
Christmas Eve?
Seems Al Percolo,
the scout who discovered
Steve Nebraska,
is up there with him
giving him some
last-minute words of wisdom,
Yeah, and Al Percolo
has reportedly been under
a psychiatrist's care,
Unfortunate, but we
hope and pray he's O.K.
What do you think
they're talking about?
It's hard to tell,
Robert.
Probably strategy,
game plan.
I don't care
what you feel like!
What have I been
telling you?
You're a professional!
You play whether
you feel like it or not!
You're not some
high school kid!
You're a Yankee!
Now get down there
and stop being a baby!
Don't you call me
a baby!
You have no idea what's
going on inside my head!
I don't care what--
I don't care what's
going on inside your head!
I don't care
about that!
If you don't stop
yelling at me,
I'm going to throw you
off this fucking roof!
Throw me off
the roof!
I mean it!
I want you to!
If I go down
the stairs,
they put me in jail!
If you
throw me off,
I'd get a ride
in an ambulance!
I broke my ass
for you.
I discovered you!
I got you the deal!
I found you the doctor!
I feed you!
You stay with me!
This is how you're
going to repay me?
Forget it.
What?
Forget it.
I never thought
I'd say this.
Screw the World Series.
If you don't
want to pitch,
don't pitch.
You won't get mad at me?
No, I won't be mad
at you.
Don't worry
about me now.
I'm sorry I yelled.
This is your life.
You do want you
want to do.
I'm nothing in this.
I'm just a stupid scout
that was lucky enough
to see you play.
You're the one
that counts. Not me.
No.
Al, you're like
a dad to me.
But I'm not
your dad.
I'm just a guy
taking 15%
I thought it was 10.
No.
10 the first 6 months,
then we bumped--
Well, what difference
does it make?
You're not going to
play anyway.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Still be my friend?
Yeah,
I'll be your friend.
I'm sure
we'll be closer
since nobody will want
to talk to either of us.
I really appreciate
this, Al. I do.
Who's going to pitch
if I don't?
Oh, let's not worry
about the lineup now.
The only lineup we should
be concerned about
is the police lineup.
If I pitched, what's the worst
that could happen?
You'd lose.
I'd lose.
I'd lose.
Well, that's not so bad
'cause half the guys
down there lose every night.
Yeah.
I wouldn't aim
for it,
but that's all
that would happen.
Well, maybe I should try.
Yeah. I want to do it.
Let's pitch.
You sure?
Yeah. What are you doing
later on?
I don't have
any plans, no.
Maybe we could do
some laundry.
You love that laundry,
don't you?
I do.
I got a deal
for you.
You go pitch,
I'll buy the bleach.
You don't get it,
do you?
You don't need bleach.
People spend money
on stuff
they really don't need.
You get a lemon,
cut it in half,
get a little salt--
Go play ball.
We can talk bleach
for hours later.
What are you doing?
King Kong wouldn't
take the stairs.
Your chariot awaits you.
Go get 'em.
The Yankee
copter's pilot
has dropped
a rope ladder down,
Too dangerous to land
on the stadium roof
with all that
electrical equipment,
But, look, it's working,
They're lifting off
and taking Steve along
for the ride,
1,000 feet over
the playing field,
He's made it
to the cabin,
The pilot's checking for
a safe landing on the field,
Steve Nebraska heading
down toward the mound.
This is it. Game time.
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
Nebraska! Nebraska!
All right,
baseball fans,
Your long wait
is just about over,
All the anticipation,
all the speculation,
and now, finally,
the moment has arrived,
Play ball!
Can Steve Nebraska
deliver on all that promise?
The kid stands
astride the mound,
ready to deliver his first pitch
in the big leagues,
He's got the sign
he wants,
The wind,
and the pitch,
Whoa! Did you see that?
Could you see that?
105 miles an hour,
and right down
the heart of the plate,
Oh, man,
is this kid humming?
This kid is
absolutely for real,
Wasting no time,
Rocks into his motion,
and brings the next one home,
Strike 2, This one
is clocked at 106,
If this keeps up,
they'll have to
reinvent the radar gun
when it comes to
young Steve Nebraska,
Folks, we are in for
some kind of ball game,
You're out!
Strike 3! You're out!
One comes up,
one goes down in this game,
Steve Nebraska
is simply unbelievable,
Here he comes,
Steve Nebraska's first time at bat,
Tewksbury a much different
kind of pitcher
than Nebraska--
control artist,
breaking ball guy,
Iikes to mix it up,
He looks in,
gets the sign he wants,
and here's the pitch
to Nebraska,
Swung on,
and a long, high drive,
Oh, man,
did he powder this one,
Has to be 425 feet
if it's an inch,
And, yes, Steve Nebraska
can swing the bat
as well as toss
the horsehide,
And thanks to Nebraska,
the Yankees pull ahead
1 to nothing,
Steve Nebraska
is one man away
from becoming
the first pitcher in history
to accomplish
a mind-boggling feat--
27 up, 27 down,
81 pitches,
all of them strikes,
And look who's advancing
to the plate--
Ozzie Smith himself,
0 for 2 tonight,
but five homers
in the playoffs
in an unexpected
outburst of power,
What a season
he's had,
If anybody can break
this Nebraska streak,
Ozzie Smith could
be the guy to do it,
Nebraska peers in
at the Wizard of Oz,
rocks into his motion
and delivers--Oh, man!
Looks like the kid's prepared
to deliver on his promise,
Steve Nebraska trying
to put the finishing touches
on a masterpiece,
And his pitch...
strike 2!
I cannot believe this,
This is
beyond excitement,
I mean, this is over
the rainbow,
His 81st pitch
of the night coming up,
Oh, my gosh!
Where did that come from?
What the hell
was that?
I think it was a strike.
Strike 3! You're out!
112 miles an hour!
It's a record
in every respect,
81 pitches,
27 up, 27 down,
It's a record,
And the Yankees win 2-0,
Hey! Al!
[Imitating King Kong]