The Second Civil War (1997) Movie Script

1
Mel, can I get you to proof this?
Mel, which one?
This one.
Come on, people...
What have you done for me lately?
Overnights, Mel,
read them and weep!
Where's Boise? I don't see Boise.
Where's Pakistan? Come on!
Mel baby, you're going
to just love today.
I better, Alan.
I don't see much team work!
Caroline, my coffee is cold.
"We tell ourselves
we are after the truth."
"We tell ourselves we deal in facts."
"And yet for those of us...
who've been in my business
long enough...
we're haunted by the realization
that the facts alone...
don't always lead to the truth."
From the White House
after the speech, okay?
No spin!
Do not tolerate any spin
what so ever...
Where's Boise?
"Like most of the really important
stories we covered, this one...
the biggest armed confrontation
in America since the Civil War...
started with seemingly
unrelated incidence...
that had first been
almost unnoticed...
and then spun out of control."
Most of you know, Governor Farleys
on his way back from Washington...
he'll be addressing you at some point
later today or tomorrow.
However...
he has authorized me to make
this statement on his behalf.
"Effective immediately...
the State of Idaho
is closing it's borders...
if necessary, by the use of force."
"I have ordered our state troopers...
to set up check-points
on the boarders."
"And no one will be allowed in
without authorization...
from the Idaho authorities."
"There will be no questions
at this time."
He's closing the borders, people.
Thank God for arrogance,
lust and greed...
or we'd all be doing infomercials.
Let's go people,
I smell a twenty share!
Where the hell is Pakistan?
Where's the White House?
Do we still have a White House
or has Tokyo foreclosed on it?
- Coming up!
- We'll return to Boise momentarily.
"Meanwhile, developments in Pakistan
are continuing as more orphans...
are being assembled
for the flight to America."
"It is now thirty eight days
since the event that started it all."
"The nuclear explosion
from the Indian missiles...
that devastated over ten thousand
square miles of the area...
around the Pakistani Capitol
of Islamabad."
"At the Peshaware airport
in Northern Pakistan...
the first of several plane
loads of children...
orphaned by the atomic blast,
is preparing to leave."
"Destination: Twin Falls, Idaho."
"The rescue mission is under
the supervision of Amelia Sims...
head of the controversial,
Give to the Children Corporation."
"However, as we've just reported...
Governor Farley has closed
the border of that state."
"As politicians maneuver...
behind the scenes
to avoid a crisis...
a confrontation seems
increasingly inevitable."
"The governors press secretary...
has said that no one
will be allowed in...
without permission
from the Idaho authorities..."
Jesus Christ!
The country's becoming un-glued
and the bird goes down!
It's not off the satellite
we got Bombay...
- off the same bird.
- I don't care what it is, okay.
I want the orphans.
Can't do it, we're losing them.
Go to the White House.
Go ahead. Go!
"We apologize
for the technical difficulties."
"Steven Kingsley is standing
by at the White House...
with a live report."
Helena, Matthew,
we've just seen an indication...
of the way the White House
is handling these events.
"When Jack Buchan,
high powered lobbyist...
and unofficial Public Relations
advisor to the President...
arrived here as President
of Cathers and Hilton...
the huge Washington P.R. firm."
"Buchan is not a member
of the Cabinet...
but in times of extreme crisis...
he is often seen
around the White House."
So, what do the polls say?
Fifty two percent
are in favor of strong action.
There is no other kind,
Idaho will be stopped.
- I want those orphans in there.
- Yes, sir.
What do the polls show in Florida?
Florida was the swing vote
in the last election.
In Florida only thirty eight percent
are in favor of strong action...
and most of them are over
the age of seventy five.
Statistically...
most of them will be dead
before the next election.
Dead supporters are the worst.
I mean, they take up
a ton of your time...
and then where the hell
are they when you need them?
Shit. So, what do we do?
Sometimes,
the best action is no action.
Well, nobody believes in action
more than I do, Mike.
Mr. President.
I think the answer is to move
the whole damn thing up...
to a new paradigm, like...
I'm talking about moving it
onto the image level.
Now, that's my business,
I know image.
And the great thing
about image is that...
you look like you're doing
something strong...
but you don't necessarily do it.
That way, they nail you and...
There's nothing to hit.
And?
I got them!
Mel, I got them back.
The first plane load
of orphans is in the air.
It's the one we put Tony Phillips on.
But they may have to make
an emergency landing somewhere.
What do you mean emergency land...
Get Phillips on the horn, please.
What is our 20 at JFK, please?
Keep them out of the bathroom!
You cannot have...
"Tony what the hell's
going on up there?"
Mell, for Christ sake,
I got no control over it.
We got a plane full of orphans...
and the toilets
have stopped working, okay.
- "So what?"
- Look...
we just have to land in Newfoundland
just for a few hours to fix it.
"Tony?"
Let me ask you something,
do you want to land at JFK...
in the middle of the afternoon
when nobody is watching...
and maybe get a 1.2 share?
Or do you want to land at JFK
primetime in the morning...
and perhaps garner a 28 share?
"What you want, Tony?"
Mel, I'm telling you,
this is a flying planeload of shit!
"Tony, this is the biggest story
in the last half of the century...
and you are
the human side of it, okay?"
So, whatever you have to do
to keep those kids up there...
stick a cork up their asses,
you do it.
- Do you understand? What?
- Hey, Mel!
Idaho is coming.
We apologize again
for the technical difficulties.
We'll return
to the orphans remaining...
at the Pakistan airport
for their flight to America.
Excuse me, Helena.
We have just received word that...
Governor Farley will be returning
to the State House momentarily.
And as you know the Governor expected
to make some sort of statement...
within the next twenty-four hours.
"And he's certainly
one of the more controversial...
governor's in this country."
"Once known for his liberal views
Jim Farley has been criticized...
for playing
to State's conservative majority."
"And indeed, Governor Farleys
approval ratings have jumped...
twelve percentage points...
since he adopted his bold
anti-immigration stance...
an outgrowth of his successful
reelection campaign...
which played to a theme
that still resonates today."
"America. As it should be."
"Governor Farley has just arrived
on the steps of the Capital."
"Let's switch there now.
Live."
Okay, line up the reacts
from the White House.
Tell Kingsley to get the President!
Get the President,
like in send out a search party?
- Correct.
- Who's got Christina Fernandez?
Christina?
Yes.
The universe shall unfold
as it does, ladies and gentlemen.
Governor!
- Alan?
- Govenor, answer the question...
Alan, I could hardly hear you.
The balloon's going up.
"I know. You'll be hearing from me
soon on the matter."
"Yes, you will."
This is what it comes down to.
One guy controls the fate
of the whole damn country?
You've all been very understanding.
Yes, tomorrow. Guaranteed.
My life is out of control.
Christ,
she hardly acknowledges I'm alive.
You saw her out there,
it's like I'm a goddamn window...
she looked right through me!
But Governor, I don't know
if this is really the time...
to let her be getting
to you like this. I mean...
What the hell is it with women?
Christ. Doesn't going to bed...
and fucking your brains out
mean anything anymore?
Well, Governor,
I can get the State Troopers...
to cut you another one out
of the heard.
There's plenty
of cocktail waitresses...
you ain't been through down there
at the Frontier Lounge.
I want Christina.
What is it with her?
She knows I can't leave my wife.
Well, Governor,
you got a crisis to handle...
and she knows damn well you do.
That's the problem with women
they never listen to reason.
"It's your fault!"
Governor,
the White House just called.
Goddammit, get the hell out of here.
This is important.
Close the damn door!
The White House...
Look, Governor...
I'll see what I can do to get
her thinking straight again.
But right now you got
to get yourself ready...
to go out there in front of
the whole damn country tomorrow.
Politics is just another form of sex.
You know that, don't you?
- Jim, I need you to do...
- Mel, I just got through...
to Tony Phillips,
I'm going to go out to JFK...
and meet the plane in the morning.
I need you here.
Yeah, but I'd do better
work out there.
Jim, I don't want
better work, alright?
I need
grab-them-by-the-throat news.
Alright? Haven't you noticed ethics
and taste are passe, history...
- this is not the '90s anymore, Jim.
- Mel, you're living proof of it.
- Tony Phillips is holding on line 5.
- You know something?
I hold you responsible
for my predicament.
Let me explain,
when I was in J school...
I used to watch you on ABC
and I'd say...
"Look at that dignity and class."
"Maybe you could be in news
without being a cynical cog...
in some son of a bitch
corporate structure."
Boy, was I conned.
You suckered me in.
- I'm going to get you for that.
- Mel, you have many times.
- Tony, it's Jim again.
- "You want us to do what?"
"Just a minute. Jim, hold on."
"We will not be silenced by some
ridiculous need for primetime."
Tony, grab yourself a barf bag...
and put Miss First Amendment
on the line.
"It's Mel Burgess,
our executive producer."
"He wants to talk to you."
"Hot wire to the..."
Having quite a ride up there,
aren't you, Miss Sims?
Mr. Burgess,
was is it that you want?
Well, I just wanted you to know
if you didn't land in Newfoundland...
and arrived at JFK in the middle
of morning primetime...
"Yeah, well, what the hell
do I care about primetime?"
Miss Sims, let's face it right now
you're a two-bit charity, okay?
But if you land at JFK...
smack in the middle
of morning primetime...
America sees these kids getting off
the plane in their wretched state...
you will be inundated with money,
Miss Sims.
You'll be bigger
than "Save the Children"!
Well, that is the most
ridiculous thing that I...
Did he say,
bigger than "Save the Children"?
Everybody's got a magic button,
our job, find it and push it.
Okay, Jim, you're it.
Orphan patrol, get to JFK...
keep them up there for
a couple hours until prime time.
"There is still no word
from the White House...
but unofficially,
one aide has said that...
and I quote,
'Strong action will be taken'."
Governor Farley
won't come to the telephone.
Fuck.
So, what now?
Well, if that son of a bitch is...
going to make the speech
I think he's going to make...
then he could wipe us out.
I smell an Image Deficiency
Syndrome on our hands.
What the hell are we talking about...
Image Deficiency Syndrome?
If I may, sir.
When I set up your election campaign
I knew you'd be elected...
like all other Presidents
because of image.
Now, no disrespect, sir...
but the American people vote
for the sizzle, not the steak...
its only afterwards
that the poor bastards...
have to bite
into that fat and gristle.
- This is not about image!
- I beg your pardon, Warren.
Mr. President, we're dealing with
something a hell of a lot more...
than just "messy reality" here.
See, at my shop
we represent everyone...
from the Apple Growers Association
to the Government of Zimbodway.
And I've got a dozen clients...
who are going to load
their collective pants...
if that son of a bitch looks like
he's going to run circles around us.
No one's going
to run circles around us, Chuck.
Exactly.
Now, we've an election next year
and unless you keep that in mind...
when it's over this President...
could be out building houses
for the poor like Jimmy Carter.
I've never even fixed a faucet.
Jim's at JFK!
Hang in there, Jim.
Idaho's coming up!
Farley's about to make his speech!
Christina, stay with him
all the way up to the podium, okay?
You stay with him!
Mel, he's not even here,
he's still upstairs.
It's going to be
a feeding frenzy down here.
But you see, Governor...
you got to look at this
as an opportunity, not a problem.
I don't see this as much
of an opportunity, Jimmy.
Hell, she's talking about wanting
to get transferred out of state!
So, there you go now,
you stand up there...
you make that speech
in a few minutes...
she's going to be watching you
like a hound in heat.
- You really think so?
- You're goddamn right.
I mean, women love power.
They swarm around it
like flies around shit.
I mean, how could she do this to me?
We made love just last Friday,
right here in this office.
On that damn couch
you're sitting on right now.
You know, counting for loyalty
these days?
- By the way your wife called.
- Cover for me.
Planeful of orphans,
one hour out of JFK!
So, Caroline, you want to be
in the news business...
start thinking train wrecks,
electronic train wrecks...
only the trains are people,
like Farley and the White House...
all we do is put them on
the same track...
and let them head towards each other.
You told me she was staying here,
and I'm telling you she's gone.
She's here.
Let's just keep movin.
Good morning.
You all know that I've just ordered
the borders of Idaho to be closed.
Now, this action is being implemented
to preserve our way of life.
The American dream
that has been falsely...
and cynically held out
to the entire rest of the world...
which has grown by a billion people
in merely the last ten years...
count them folks, one billion.
Standing room only
from Maine to California.
And by,
by allowing the stampede of...
Whatever you want to call them,
immigrants, refugees...
illegals, legals, migrants,
aliens, you name it...
we are being swamped.
"And we are destroying
our own way of life...
at a time when
the business community...
has presided over
the wholesale destruction of...
our manufacturing capability,
shift it overseas."
- I don't know.
- "In the name of efficiency..."
I liked him better
when he was a blonde.
"We are told
that we have to stand by...
and let the rest of the world
flood into America!"
Steady with these kids.
What? Hello? Come on.
Where's the news crew?
Excuse...
I don't see...
Is that?
Hi, are you with the News Net?
- Yes.
- Amelia Sims.
- Is this the camera? Yeah.
- News Net control room.
Tony's in pretty bad shape.
- "That's why you're there, Jim."
- That's good, honey.
Okay, this one, too.
All of these are orphans...
- "Folks, America is no longer..."
- The global village on primetime...
Boys, if it ain't on the screen,
it ain't happening.
Lets go, bring it in.
Come on!
- Standby in Effects 2, this is...
- Yes. Good.
"This group of activists,
who have decided on their own...
to bring into Idaho
thousands and thousands...
of these unfortunate
Pakistan children...
who've been orphaned by
that terrible war..."
Beautiful.
"And the people of this state
to mind our own business."
Well, as it turns out, that is
exactly what I tend to do.
I mean, I was not
elected by the people...
Of Idaho...
to...
"to..."
"to preside over this solution"
of our way of life.
Therefore...
I am taking control of all matters
related to our own borders.
And to immigration
and citizenship.
This is unconstitutional.
You can't do this.
I just have. Thank you.
"Come on, Christina,
stay with the Governor!"
Goddamnit. The Governor's the center
of the whole thing!
Go in closer. Closer.
Any closer and I'd be
going down on him.
What was the question,
Miss Fernandez?
Christina,
stay with the Governor.
What the hell's going on with her,
she's always right on top of him.
I'm trying to tell you...
Hey, Troy.
Look, come on, sugar,
I don't mean any harm.
I just thought you might want
a little quality time...
to patch up this little lovers tiff
that you and him have.
Mr. Cannon, I don't need you
to sort out my personal life.
Come on, Darling.
Hey, I'm just trying to be
a friend here, okay?
And he is crazy about you,
you know that.
Please.
It was an affair, okay?
Let's just keep it at that.
Right now, I just need to remember...
that I'm a reporter
and get on with my life.
You know, I'm always amazed
at how wrong I can be.
You know, hell, I figured you really
had a thing for him.
Are you aware
that I was born in Mexico?
See, I came here
when I was three years old.
That makes me an immigrant.
He wants to keep people like me out.
So, I'm out.
Aren't you taking this
a little personally?
I hope so.
He wants to marry you.
He what?
Look, the budget's all blown to hell.
- Why can't we take at least a few...
- Sorry, I'm late.
But those darned orphans
didn't read the inter-office memo.
"When I started out as a reporter,
the world seemed more remote."
"News came at us slower,
in ways we could absorb."
"We never dreamed
of satellite feeds...
or live reports from distant lands...
but now, Idaho and Pakistan
might as well be right next door."
"The entire world is swarming
into our video monitors...
as well as into the towns
and cities of America...
and it's changing us all."
"And you tell yourself,
you're a pro...
that you can handle
the passions and tensions...
without letting your own feelings
get in the way."
"At least,
that's what you tell yourself."
This network, isn't that worth
a little bit of money?
What do we got on the White House?
- Hi you, Sandy.
- Still nothing, the scum buckets.
- They're your people.
- Bullshit, Alan!
Alright, stop.
What about the backgrounds?
We got one running right now.
Okay, I want backgrounders
on everything, environment...
immigration, refugees,
the whole nine yards, okay?
- Blitz it.
- "The three freighters...
filled with Albanians
fleeing the Russian conflict...
have been refused entry
at the already crowded port of...
- Charleston, South Carolina."
- Yes, we should ignore the fact...
the economic infrastructure of
every American city is crumbling.
It's not the fault of
the refugees and the immigrants...
For Christ sake, Alan...
that's not even the goddamn issue
right now.
It's right in the middle
of the fucking issue.
"The crisis began when 3 million
starving refugees fled...
Figian Province."
- "The pesticides that seeped..."
- Human beings...
let it get out of control,
this is not some act of God.
They had their worst famine...
in the last hundred and fifty years,
for Christ sake.
Could I have a glass
of milk with this, please?
"There's no way I'm going
to let Idaho go...
like other small population
states like Rhode Island...
which became almost totally
Chinese in six years...
when it was swamped by refugees..."
"Millions of Chinese
settled in Rhode Island...
in the same Presidential
election year...
when the controversial department
of ethnic affairs was created."
So, its our fault they cut down
all their forests...
or breed like rabbits
and then want to come to America?
Don't talk to me about breeding,
I'm eating, here.
I'm not talking about breeding.
I'm talking about the social
situation on the planet.
"Agents of the U.S. Border Patrol...
have been unable to stem
the unprecedented numbers of...
- Salvadorians flooding into USA."
- The Chinese item we'll let on...
but drop any Latin stuff.
We've got too many
Hispanic advertisers.
For christ sake, are we still
a news organization...
or are we the home
shopping network now?
Chris, don't bite the hand
that feeds you...
which happens to include
Hispanic advertisers.
The country is, you know...
"El Country-o es muy"
fucked up...
Can you network guys
understand that?
You got an attitude problem.
I find this impassioned tone
of yours very offensive.
I'm offensive? Jesus...
Africa's a mess.
Use the last Rwanda massacre.
- There are no Rwanda advertisers.
- "Third time in recent years...
the people of Rwanda are being
massacred at an alarming rate."
"Entire villages
are being wiped out."
Heads up everyone, orphan alert!
JFK is coming in.
Second batch of Pakistani orphans.
Runway 23.
And what have you done
for Mel lately?
"To Runway 23 at JFK
International Airport."
"News Nets Jim Kallas there."
"This is Jim Kalla, the News Net...
- I'm here with Amelia Sims of..."
- "Thank you. Alright."
"Let me just say that we are...
bringing these children
to our shelters in Idaho...
come hell or high water,
and it's our right."
"And no Governor is going to stop it,
let me also say that this is..."
Standby Boise, as soon as
we dump JFK, we'll be coming to you.
I love the smell
of burning ambition.
"And we are
going to deal with them and...
let me just also say
that the organization'll be open..."
"Of course I care about those
poor Pakistan orphans...
but I don't live in Pakistan,
I live here!"
"This is where..."
"This is what I'm all about,
the American dream."
How come every time I see that guy
I think I'm going to barf?
Alan, anything American
makes you want to barf!
Stop with the cause debates,
we're news, alright.
Emotions happen outside.
"Governor Farley!"
Folks, the Governor.
Good morning.
That's cute.
Folks...
I know you all want to let
the Governor know...
just how much
you're supporting him...
but if you could just
give us a few minutes...
to discuss some important matters,
I'd really appreciate it.
Is there a room that we could use?
Why sure, you could use our bedroom,
right down the hall.
Turn left at the rocket launcher.
Excuse us. Thank you.
- Hey, big fella.
- You got to talk to these people.
Hey. Jesus.
I'm tellin you,
this is getting to be too much.
- What is?
- Christina, she's...
She's not out there.
- Governor, I've got it wired...
- Jesus Christ.
Who keeps a bowl of grenades
in their bedroom?
Jesus, Howard, get away from there!
Look, I got it wired.
I've talked to News Net people...
and told them that
we'd give her an exclusive...
so they're on her to stay close.
Now, let's just think about
those people in the next room?
I mean, these militia folks
can come in real handy.
What the hell is this?
Bosoms and bazookas?
Maybe Ladies Auxiliary?
I don't know.
Jesus Christ.
I don't know about all this.
Governor, lets just not forget
who voted for you?
I mean, the whole goddamn state's
one big militia now.
"As Governor Farley avoided
reporters questions...
on his links with militia groups..."
It doesn't make any sense.
Just because we got a President...
who's face belongs
on the back of milk cartons...
doesn't mean that the whole
goddamn White House got to be quiet.
Its fishy.
Steve, smoke them out.
And what amazes
most observers here...
there still been no response
from the President.
Well, you got the Chief of Staff,
what more do you want?
Same to you.
The President's on his way,
but before he arrives...
- a few things I want to go over.
- Mr. Buchan...
since when does a lobbyist
set the agenda for the White House?
Mr. Secretary.
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear
that "L" word you just used.
I'm a political facilitator.
You can pretend what you want, Jack.
But we're trying
to handle a crisis here.
- Really Mike?
- Yes.
Well, I think its time
we started considering that...
a Presidents first four year term
is what he's got to put up with...
in order to get himself
elected again.
Tell me something I don't know.
"There is speculation that
the White House's in some disarray...
and that the President has become...
politically immobilized...
- by events that are..."
- What did I tell you?
The bastards are
trying to smoke us out.
Now, look, people...
This Presidents going to end up as
confused as a goat on astro-turf.
- Unless we're careful.
- Careful about what?
Every President has his foibles,
this one just needs a role model.
Now, I've been through this
with him before...
that last crisis,
that Trade War thing.
We got him all fired up
over Harry Truman and it worked.
When it ended...
I swear, I thought he was going
to nuke the Japs all over again.
And, on this one...
we have to bring him up
to something more...
Statesman like, like Roosevelt.
Excellent question.
What would Roosevelt have done
if hed had this crisis?
Especially when they're
playing the "orphan card."
Well, we should be playing
our own orphan card.
Exactly.
Sir, what exactly
is our "orphan card?"
Mr. President, its a deadline.
Precisely! It's a deadline...
we're giving Idaho
to get those damn orphans in there.
Seventy-two hours,
no ifs, ands, or buts.
Teddy Roosevelt would've played
the orphan card.
No, Mr. President...
I was referring to F.D.R.
Franklin Roosevelt.
Teddy Roosevelt.
When he lead the rough riders
over the hill...
on that charge
when he declared war on Spain...
now that was an orphan card.
Shit.
I know something's going on,
I could smell it a mile away.
Somethins happening...
Caroline!
Did we fire that odd ball,
Techy Godfrey from the last cutback?
No, his office is down stairs.
- What room?
- Fifty-five.
So, Tom comes up to me you know,
Brocaugh, and he says...
"Vincent, you belong on camera,
on camera..."
Godfrey, tell me you know something.
What's going on?
BTU's.
This is something I've been doing
calculations on for months...
the Pentagon on a "normal night."
Taken from the infrared satellite
that I got us to buy time on.
You remember how
the twenty-second floor...
didn't want to put money into it.
How they said, infrared was dead,
microwave maybe...
I remember, Godfrey.
I was thrilled for you, go ahead.
On a normal night...
the Pentagon gives off
a fairly constant amount of heat.
About 3.28 million BTUs,
that's British Thermol Units...
its a way of measuring how...
Yeah.
But here is how it looked
ten minutes ago.
You see this hot spot right here?
All the lights
and electrical equipment...
it added an extra half million BTUs.
- So?
- Well, I...
I don't have a spectrum analysis
they wouldn't authorize...
the system upgrade
at the last budget meeting...
Godfrey, forget about
spectrum analysis...
stay with the BTUs and
how they relate to the orphans...
that's why we're here.
This is where they plan
military operations.
Holy shit.
Look here, North Carolina
half an our ago.
You see this little area right here
lit up like an infra-red blowtorch.
What about it?
That's Fort Brag,
home of the 173rd Airborne.
Jesus Christ.
We're going to invade Idaho...
over a bunch of orphans.
Get me to the White House.
I don't care
if you have to use tear gas...
get the President out of there.
Who's at Fort Brag?
"News Net has just learned that...
two battalions from Fort Brag
have been put on alert...
and are preparing to be moved
to Utah near the Idaho border."
"You actually want me to believe
they're sending in troops?"
"They may have a credibility gap
in Washington...
but even the lobbyists
that swarm all over that city..."
"Are you're telling me that...
the White House is still
denying reports that...
Federal troops are being shipped
to the Idaho boarder?"
So, we're in the Eisenhower mode?
Jack, I think Ike's a great idea.
Well, thank you, Mr. President.
Eisenhower had a calming influence.
Yes, I thought you
would like that, sir.
And he gave fabulous deadlines.
I saw the videos you gave me.
That's what I want to talk
to you about, Sir.
Seventy-two hours, three days,
has a nice ring to it.
- That's the problem, Sir.
- What is?
Well, the seventy-two hours,
the end of seventy two hours...
Falls right in the middle of...
"All My Children."
What the hell is, "All My Children"?
It's a soap opera.
Remember what happened last time
we preempted those soap operas?
Women all over the country
went absolutely ape...
went crazy.
Jack, let's understand something.
I wasn't elected President...
to sit back and watch
the United States disintegrate.
Here.
Sir, we lost the women's vote
last time.
Shouldn't have happened.
It's Susan Luchis final episode.
- She's about to leave her husband.
- Excuse me?
Susan, the star of "All My Children."
Shes about to leave her husband
and run off with Antonio.
- The gardener?
- Yes.
- Erica's running off with Antonio?
- Exactly.
Would it be possible that,
for the sake of the country...
Erica not run off with the gardener
for a few days?
Well, I checked with the network.
The episodes already been taped,
it airs in three days...
right smack dab
in the middle of our deadline.
Eisenhower would've
changed the deadline.
It's a soap opera, for Christ sakes.
Since when does a soap opera
control the future of the country?
Why do you keep asking me
if I love him?
Hey, I'm just trying to help.
I mean, I can see the pain you're in.
The pain is from you trying
to get me back...
into something that made me crazy.
Look, I only know what I see.
And I see you hurt more now
than you ever did before.
Tell me I'm wrong.
But I know I'm not, Darling.
Phone message, Jimmy.
Code Blue.
In a minute.
Governor, Mrs. Fernandez is here
to discuss the News Net interview.
- Where's the last Code Blue?
- Three.
Hello, Mrs. Farley, how are you?
Good.
No, he's behind
closed doors right now.
Well, its very important,
its with a foreign dignitary.
Right.
No problem. I'll have
the fella go shopping for you.
Right. The Popov Vodka.
Good. Bye.
You're all aware of the proclamations
coming from Idaho...
where the Governor of the state
has said it is his intention...
to close the borders to
a group of refugee children.
This action is unconstitutional.
And it represents
an illegal challenge...
"to the authority of
the Federal government."
He's actually going to have
to make a decision.
Christina, I don't care
what you have to do...
to get access to Farley, do it.
Christina?
- So much.
- No.
I don't believe you anymore...
and I don't believe myself
anymore either.
I mean, what the hell
am I doing with a married man?
Eleanor and I have not lived
as man and wife...
For three years.
And she doesn't understand you
and the check is in the mail...
and I'm really Irish.
Television has
just fucking gone crazy.
I just...
I just thought
maybe we could go away...
somewhere for a couple of days.
Just get away from all this.
"And I'm calling on Governor Farley,
who I know is watching this...
- to recognize the hour of peril..."
- Christina, where are you?
I need a reaction, please!
"Christina?"
Mel, I want a transfer.
Christina, this is not
the appropriate time.
"I want to go somewhere..."
and have babies
and lead a normal sane life...
and I want to get up
in the morning...
and drive kids to school
and I want a husband I can trust.
Please,
no mommy-track crisis now.
Christina, please!
"It was almost half a century ago...
that another President,
Dwight D. Eisenhower...
found it necessary
to use U.S. troops...
to enforce the constitutional rights
of the Federal government...
when the state of Arkansas refused
to obey a Supreme Court order."
"If necessary, I will do the same."
"I am therefore declaring
a deadline of sixty-seven...
and a half hours from now."
- Sixty-seven and a...
- "By which time...
- the state of Idaho must comply..."
- The fuck is that?
"The constitutional prerogatives of
the Federal government...
of these United States of America."
- "As they we're delineated by..."
- What an asshole.
That dumb son of a bitch.
Up to his ass in lobbyists
and deals to keep himself in power.
Now he tries to be Eisenhower.
Like a dwarf trying to be
a high jumper.
Goddamit.
How the hell did we let it all
get to this?
Sixty-seven and a half hours?
Okay, do it.
Put up the road blocks,
and I promised...
you know that News Net lady
an exclusive.
Governor!
You're supposed to brief
Colonel McNally, Sir, right away.
You know the one? Yeah.
"I have today issued
an executive order...
directing the use of troops..."
"There have been comparisons
made between the President...
and former President
Dwight D. Eisenhower."
"It was in 1958
that Eisenhower sent in troops...
to forcibly integrate
the public schools in Little Rock."
"Observers say that
the President's actions are..."
Okay, people,
the whole country is tuned in!
Meaning, it's primetime
for the next three days...
twenty-four hours a day,
nobody goes home.
The Feds are on their way, okay?
Everybody on deck?
Karachi, New York,
the White House, Boise.
Who's on the Idaho border?
Vinnie.
Vinnie? Vinnie Franco?
Yeah.
Man, that John Wayne
was a hell of soldier?
Hey, Vinnie, he was an actor.
Bullshit, if they'd a put
the Duke in charge of Vietnam...
we would've been out of that war
in a fucking week.
Hey, what are you doing
turning the sound up?
I told you, you're going to blow
the fucking speakers on this thing.
I didn't.
Holy shit.
Hello? Hey!
Hey, who are you guys?
Who are you?
- Who are you?
- I asked first.
I ain't telling till you do.
We're a News Net crew.
- No kidding?
- Yeah.
Hey, Charlie, Sam, its News Net,
we're going to be on TV.
Goddamn.
I'm Arnold Tooney, Jr.,
two "os" in Tooney.
I own a drugstore in Boise.
Really?
Well, I might be slow, Arnold,
but where I come from...
guys who own drugstores
don't drive around in tanks...
- You know what I mean?
- Bet some of them do.
On weekends, at least.
You're not the army,
you're the National Guard.
Idaho National Guard.
Fuck.
Boys,
looks like Idaho's going to war.
God.
"I smell another fucking Emmy, here."
There are sixty-five hours left
in the Presidents ultimatum.
There now exists
the possibility of...
American troops fighting against
other American troops...
for the first time
since the Civil War.
"Despite a complete press blackout
established by...
by the military on both sides...
we're expecting exclusive
coverage potentials..."
Civil War?
The Second Civil War.
The Second Civil War.
Get me graphics!
Alright.
Okay, we have...
We have not sought...
nor will we instigate
any combat situation.
But I am hereby serving notice
on the Federal government...
that should any armed
hostilities break out...
the State of Idaho will immediately
secede from the United States.
And with Governor Farleys
dramatic declaration of secession...
America appears just days away
from a deepening crisis.
Some observers fear the possibility
of an armed attack...
by Federal troops.
An announcement from the White House
is expected within the hour.
Brendon.
I'm going to need
an Eisenhower kind of quote.
Something with
a ring of leadership to it.
An Eisenhower quote.
I'll do me best, sir.
I'm sure you will, Brendon.
Thank you very much.
Now, we're going to need
another Eisenhower quote.
So, let's dream one up lads.
It's blackmail! No blackmail.
We'll not be party
to such high-handed...
- tactics.
- No.
How about this,
in my judgement...
we got to call in the army
because otherwise...
The flower of democracy
will not be trampled...
under the foot of rebellion.
That's closer, Vaclav.
But still,
I'm missing the poetry boys.
Raul, let's hear it, lad.
We must endure...
and we must prevail
if the slender thread of truth...
is to remain woven
into the fabric of civilized life.
Slender thread of truth.
"And just as Eisenhower said
years ago."
"We must endure, we must prevail,
if the slender thread of truth...
is to remain woven
into the fabric of civilized life."
"It was with that sentiment...
that my predecessor of
so many years ago..."
That Eisenhower
had a way with words.
"Washington continues
to mobilize troops...
with sixty-four hours left,
two battalions from North Carolina."
"An entire brigade
from the 1st Infantry...
and several armored companies
from Texas are being sent to Utah...
not far from the Idaho border.
"Citizens from across that state...
are signing up as volunteers
in the National Guard."
"Others are rallying around
the various private militias...
that support Governor Farley."
Hi, folks. How's everybody doing?
Good. We're a News Net crew
from New York city.
Well, near New York,
it's practically New Jersey.
We're here because we want
to tell your side of the story.
Now, I know you're probably
pretty suspicious of the media...
because of the way
they've portrayed you in the past.
Let's face the facts, why not?
They're always portraying you
as these...
sort of stereo-typical,
ultra-right-wing, gun crazed...
union-busting, wackos.
Good, Vinnie.
But, I'll tell you what...
let's take this opportunity
to jump right over those...
left wing liberal East coast
media-elite-types...
and bring your story right
to the American people.
"And that's why I'm supporting
Governor Farley.
"The foreigners are taking our jobs,
and enough is enough."
"Because I want my grandson
to live in country...
where we don't owe every cent
to bankers from around the world."
"Well, I knew it was time for me
and my brother Alan here...
to start buying missiles
to defend our farm...
from the Federal government...
that was trying to take
all our guns away."
"And once all the guns are gone...
who's going to stand up
to the people that are...
trying to take your freedom away?"
Goddamit, Christina,
please don't do this.
Come here.
I've already done it.
I've asked for a transfer.
- Why?
- Because I'm Mexican.
I should be reporting from Tiawana,
not Boise, for Pete's sake...
- Please.
- People are watching.
Christina, don't let all
this national issue stuff...
screw things up between you and me.
Just because you're Mexican
is no reason to go crazy.
And I'm not just
keepin back Mexicans...
its everyone from Afgans to Zambians.
Now just don't make this
into a personal thing...
between you and me.
Now, come on.
I feel sick.
What's wrong with you?
I've been sick for three days.
I have to go.
Christina.
- Steve! Get an ambulance!
- No. I'm okay.
- I'm okay. I just want to be alone.
- You sure?
You know who fucked it up?
All your mink coat "do-gooders"
who talk more about their rights...
than their duties throwing money
at every problem they see.
Fuck you, Chris, alright.
Half the people I went
to school with can't get jobs now.
So, seal the borders,
bring the jobs back.
There's more to life
than cheap sneakers.
This is not a fraternity, alright.
We're a news network,
we got work to do...
Mel, Jim, I got this idea...
that hits exactly
what you're talking about.
- What is it?
- Anybody want coffee?
The orphans, right.
Okay, Rachel, bring up JFK.
Okay, you remember those old
rockin rollers from years ago...
they sang "We Are The World."
Well, how about we get a copy
of the old video of them...
singing their hearts out, you know,
noble, caring humanity...
the world coming together,
brighter day and all that shit.
We intercut it
with shots of these orphans.
I mean, these orphans are alive...
but hell, we could get
some dead ones.
You know and you cut back and forth
between these wonderful lyrics...
and maybe go instrumental like a...
like violins over the orphans,
I mean...
Christ, who in their right mind
would ever tune that out...
and go to the home shopping
network, I ask you?
Mel, the border just came alive.
It's a hell of an idea,
Matthew, work on it.
But also you could superimpose...
a face of the rock musicians on
the orphans to make them look like...
they're playing the instruments.
Or you could take the...
the orphans faces and put them
on the rock musicians...
and make them look like
they're singing...
Or you could take a hologram
of one of the rock, musicians...
and put them amongst the orphans...
Mary Anne?
Is anybody listening to me
in Brownsville?
Mary Anne? Hello?
Mel, I'm having trouble
hearing you.
Theres huge numbers
of Mexicans pouring over the border.
I'm ready.
"And these people
streaming across...
the Rio Grande
from Mexico into Texas...
are moving north
for the same reason...
as those in California, Arizona
and New Mexico."
- "A fear that Governor..."
- "Mel, why am I here in Boise?"
"My parents crossed the border,
just like those people are now."
"I should be on the border,
not Mary Anne Wong."
Christina, I can't have Mexicans
covering Mexicans.
and Arabs covering Arabs.
Mel, its L.A.
Later, Christina.
Okay, people, teamwork!
"Let's go now to Los Angeles
where the mayor...
Javier Clarke is speaking."
Shit. Simul...
Where the hell's
simultaneous translation?
- What?
- Where's Domingo?
- Domingo!
- Domingo's wife is having a baby.
Wait. Christina?
- Christina, honey, I need you to...
- Don't honey me. You cut me off.
It was a snafoo, Darling,
please, listen to me.
We're patching up a feed from L.A.
Do me a favor and
do the simultaneous translation.
I'm a reporter, not a translator.
Christina, I'm begging you, okay.
For all that we've meant
to each other?
All we've meant to each other?
Are you crazy? Never.
And there is no question
of the so-called border...
being closed unless we agree.
Just because Mr. Farley...
and his anglos
want to set the clock back...
and keep us in our place
for the next two centuries...
whatever the politicians up North
want to do, that's there problem...
but here its different.
The border is no longer just
a matter for Washington...
or the Senor Farleys
of the world, no.
We have as much to say
over the border...
as any bureaucrat in Washington.
See, Los Angeles is not simply
American territory anymore...
I mean, just listen to our name...
- Los Angeles.
- What is she doing?
Letting us all know how much
you've meant to each other.
These are the names
that our people gave them...
before the lands were ripped them
from their ancestors...
and distributed them
among the anglos!
Well, who do we have there, anybody?
Mohammed Amin!
"Over there! The roof sniper!"
"We are trying to establish
contact with reporter...
Mohammad Amin."
- "Mohammad?"
- "Helena, you see them shooting!"
"It is still going on. I saw three.
Maybe four snipers on the roof."
"One was wearing the colors
of one of the city's black gangs...
and they said that
they will stop the Latinos...
from completely
takin over Los Angeles."
"The black gangs have said...
they will not recognize
Mexican authority here!"
"Does anybody here speak English?"
"Anybody?"
"Arabic?"
That is why I'm closing
the damn border.
Governor,
Colonel McNally on the phone.
Governor, we can see two bus
loads of orphans...
being unloaded the other side
of the border here.
"I just want to clarify
our mission with...
respect to these children."
What do we do,
if they march them up...
between us and the Federal troops?
"You could always tell
when a crisis...
started really affecting us."
"When it gets too close to home,
all the bad taste jokes cease."
"And when the orphans move up
to the Idaho border...
people started looking harder
at the images of those kids."
"Of the soldiers."
"And the ordinary people,
like themselves."
What the hell are they doing bringing
orphans to a fucking war zone?
Vinnie, for Christ sake
shut up, we're taping you, moron.
I'm going to give this woman
a piece of my mind.
Vinnie, don't go down there.
"Come on, fellas!"
Eddie, what's going on?
Show me a picture.
What's happening there?
"You cocksucker!"
"Hey, Mel."
"You know, we're just
looking for my contact lens."
- "Here it is. It's right here."
- "Great!"
"Alright, I guess we're ready then."
- "Yeah, got it."
- "Alright, lets shoot."
Idiots.
And with no sign that
the deadline will be...
extended by the President both sides
are hardening their positions.
Federal troops are arriving
at Hill Air Base in Northern Utah.
"So far, more than 8,000
combat ready troops are there...
under the command
of General Charles Buford."
"Buford was second-in-command of
the army unit sent into Algeria...
to rescue the hundreds of
American oil workers...
facing execution
by Islamic fundamentalists."
What the hell is he doing?
I've been waiting twelve years
for this candy-ass.
Hey, Chuck. Fuck you.
No, you ain't.
Not after what you did to us...
in the Persian Gulf, you...
Why you puffed up piece a shit if
you hadn't been chasing headlines...
I was supposed to get
into Kuwait city first.
It was mine, goddamit.
Who's fault was it that you stopped,
for an interview with ABC news?
And you lied to me
about your position, didn't you?
Of course I did, Chuck.
It was a race,
and I got to Kuwait first!
Well, fuck you.
Well, you're kind of a sore loser,
aren't you, shithead?
Theres an incredible dignity
to something like this.
There is?
Two military commanders
facing each other...
across a gulf of human passion.
Its like General Lee...
and General Grant meeting
after the Civil War.
And Lincoln would have been
waiting for Grant...
to report back to him.
Wouldn't Lincoln have been dead
by the time Lee and Grant met?
Whatever.
Theres something compelling,
something eloquent about those two.
Blow it out your ass, you prick.
Fuck you, asshole.
Go find your mama.
Intake, intake. C-Set 4.
It better be recording this.
- Where's it coming from?
- The Alamo, Trisha Lee.
"The Alamo.
They've blown up the Alamo."
"There are crowds
of people all around..."
"It's like a celebration!"
Do you speak English?
You speak English?
I don't understand you.
Alamo gone.
No need to speak English no more.
They trashed the Alamo.
Davy Crockett,
he whipped the Mexicans there.
What kind of book you been getting
your information from, son?
Davie Crockett wasn't on
the winning team.
Davie Crockett was a hero.
The only reason
Davie Crocketts a hero...
is because Disney figured out
how to make a buck off those hats.
Federal troops moving toward Idaho!
Governor?
You spent the night here last night?
Yeah.
I was thinking of
that beautiful piece of land...
I wanted to buy, out by the lake...
the one with its own boat dock.
Is that still available?
Governor, I don't know, we got
an escalation problem on our hands.
I should've bought it.
I'd love to go out there for
a few days with Christina, just...
Governor, the Feds
have stopped their troops...
less than a mile from our border,
now, we got to get to the media...
and see some moral
high ground on this one.
I'm getting damn tired
of all this moral high ground.
I prefer rolling around
in the mudd...
you meet more
interesting people there.
- It's the media, you got...
- I'm sick of the goddamn media.
That's how we got in this mess
in the first place.
Now, if Moses...
had public opinion polls
and TV cameras to contend with...
he never would've lead his people
out of Egypt.
Look, Governor, we got no choice.
Now, all the troops in the world
ain't worth a squirrels dick...
unless we got those media whores
kissing our ass!
That's the problem.
People are terrified
of being called racist...
for tryin to preserve
their own culture.
Yeah? Hold on.
They want to know
what you want for breakfast.
- The usual.
- Fajitas.
And Matthew, Helena, these units
from the 173rd Airborne...
suddenly began taking up
positions here...
shortly after the news
of the Alamo came through.
"I'm talking to you
from just inside Utah...
very close to the border with Idaho."
"And just over here to my right...
is the encampment
of Pakistani orphans where...
according to our information...
bus loads more
are expected to arrive today."
General, I know you don't trust
the media.
I'm with you a 100 percent on that,
absolutely, but I think...
you're missing
the opportunity here...
to counter attack
what's being said about you...
by these militia nut jobs...
and these opportunistic
politicians and...
Well, Mr. Franco,
you and the rest of your ilk...
are a carbuncle
on the ass of the military.
Carbuncle.
I'll try to put a good spin
on that word, General...
because I'm sure you mean it
as some kind of compliment, right?
I ordered the media out
of this sector...
- and that includes you!
- But what about all...
that great press I gave you
during the Persian Gulf thing...
- doesn't that count? Okay.
- Get out of here!
It's too bad, though,
I was going to give you this present.
I guess I can give it
to somebody else, it's a tape of...
you in that Panama whorehouse
a couple years ago.
If you don't mind my saying so,
General.
You didn't have any carbuncles
on your ass that night.
Are there any more copies
of that tape?
"Protests supporting both sides
of the Idaho conflict...
are increasing
all over the country...
in the wake of
the bombing of the Alamo."
"As government officials fear more
serious outbreaks of violence...
there is trouble from an unexpected
source on the Idaho Utah border."
"Blaine Gorman has more."
"Matthew, Helena, the Sioux Indians
on this reservation...
have issued a statement saying
that this conflict is and I quote...
"Part of the white mans war
that we will not be drawn into."
"And in fact, they too,
like Governor Farley...
are closing the borders
to their big reservations."
"The Indians are receiving support...
from dozens of other fans
all across America..."
It's getting to be a tad ridiculous.
Mr. President, I mean,
a bunch of Indians on the war path.
If I may be so blunt,
who gives a shit?
We do.
That reservation is right smack...
between our troops
and the Idaho border.
The Sioux, aren't they the ones
who wiped out General Custard?
Yes, Sir. Not far from there.
Well, I'm not going to have
another General Custard on my hands.
I intend to take
the appropriate action...
to ensure this does not happen.
Can't we just let them have
another casino or something?
"This is News Net."
"Good evening.
I'm Matthew Langford."
"And I'm Helena Newman."
"There are now less than
forty-one hours left...
in the countdown
to the Idaho crisis."
"And the White House
has announced the granting of...
gambling licenses
to the Lacoda Sioux Indian tribe...
for a casino next to
the little big horn...
where General Custard was killed
when he lead his troops..."
There's nothing sacred.
Next they'll be paving
Gettysburg, or worse, Disneyland...
Jim? Jim Kalla,
I need you in Washington!
"More than anything else,
what the Idaho crisis has done...
is to highlight all the fractions
all the divisions in America."
"And no where are they closer
to the surface...
than in the House of
Representatives in Washington."
Time out here!
If you got a problem
with something...
"It's become kind of...
a political bazaar built
on the ruins of the melting pot."
Hey, translator! Come on over here.
What the hell's he saying?
We don't, we're aware of
the deals that the other groups...
the nation has come
against us Chinese.
Hey, man, this is Washington!
This is what we do here,
make deals! You understand?
"The situation here changes hourly."
"What this crisis comes down to
is wheeling and dealing."
"Most of it orchestrated by
the White House and Kenya Nkomo...
the leader of the nation
of Islam caucus...
before being elected to congress...
he made his name
on the streets of Los Angeles...
as one of its most feared
gang leaders."
"Every party's
demanding concessions...
in exchange for
their supporting the President."
"If he needs to use force
against Idaho."
"Now, I'm standing here next to
Congressmen Singh of Alabama."
"Congressman Singh."
"What concessions did you get
from the White House?"
"A great deal for my people."
"I told Mr. Buchan,
from the White House...
you all want our support
against Idaho, fine."
"But you all have to give us
three thousand acres in Alabama...
and the money to build our temples."
"And he said, "No problem."
So, no problem!"
"No problem.
Jim Kalla, News Net."
Can't make an omelet without
busting some sacred eggs.
We're making history here.
And you ain't us, aren't you?
- No, I'm not.
- You should be.
Why not?
Maybe because I'm a reporter,
I ain't with anybody.
Maybe because too many sacred eggs
are getting busted.
See, I road the buses
back in the sixties...
to bring people together,
pretty unfashionable now, isn't it?
Your wife, she's Jewish, ain't she?
You know, I've forgotten what she is.
All I remember is that
we met on the back of a bus.
Hey!
Is the Governor in the car?
Well, has anybody seen him?
I'll be dipped in dog shit.
Where the hell are you?
Son of a bitch.
Governor?
Jesus Christ,
Governor, scooch over.
Jesus, I've been looking
all over hell for you...
She always parks right over there.
You see that empty parking space,
that's her.
Governor, we've got crisis
after crisis going on in there...
You want to know
about crisis, Jimmy?
She won't even look at me now.
Jesus.
There she is!
Governor!
I knew she'd come back.
What the hell is she doing?
Christina, are you all right?
Christina? Are you all right?
No. Not really.
What we're you doing
behind that tree?
I was barfing. I have to go.
What's going on?
She's pregnant.
I'm going to be a father.
And if it's a boy...
we're going to call it
Juan Pablo Farley.
I got you hooked up again.
It was a faulty switch.
Hey, I owe you one.
No, you don't.
How's Arla doing?
She has good days and bad days.
- What did the doctor say?
- Nothing I want to hear.
- Say hello for me.
- I will.
I came across another great line.
"The best lack all conviction
while the worst...
are full of passionate intensity."
That is a good line.
The poets, nobody pays enough
attention to the poets anymore.
Good night, Godfrey.
Hey, what the hell's going on?
They're movin them out.
Man. Jesus Christ.
Come on, enough is enough.
You know what? I had it with you.
All you do is use
the wide angle lens...
so it looks like there's
less orphans than there really is.
Lady, I don't have
an orphan lens, okay?
- I use a normal everyday lens...
- Yeah.
if we we're
the "Save the Children" fund...
you wouldn't use a wide angle lens,
you would use a telephoto lens.
- You're a big expert, right?
- Yes, I am.
- Thank you.
- The hell are you talking about?
I'm talking about media, asshole.
Well, fuck reality, this is image!
Fuck the media, these kids
shouldn't camp near the border!
You know what, if these kids we're
not near the border...
you wouldn't have your story.
It is my constitutional right
to do as I see fit.
Alright, you know what?
You are a fascist.
Do you know that?
- How do yo feel about that? Yeah.
- I'm a fascist?
That's what you call everybody...
Yeah, Blaine?
I want you to get
that idiot a message.
You tell him that you never
get in the middle of a story.
- "He's fired, as of now!"
- Burgess is going crazy.
He says you're fired again.
Really? Fuck it.
I'm done. I'm out!
Vinnie, will you do us all a favor
and just shut up?
That's all we ever do
around here, Blaine, is shut up.
Well, don't be an idiot,
we're in the news business.
We're a wall of noise, Blaine!
Wake the fuck up.
You know what, I quit. I'm done!
I'm going back to New York,
I'm going to tie one on.
I'm going to finish that novel...
I started a couple years back,
because you know what?
It's just about a big enough
piece a shit to become a best seller!
And then I'm going to take the money,
move down to the Bahamas...
the only time
I'll see you fucking guys...
is when I'm channel surfing.
I fucking quit. I've had it.
Fuck you, fuck him, everybody!
that's too bad, Vinnie,
we could've used you.
I hear Mel's thinking
of bringing in one of those...
young CNN producers, anyway.
- What?
- Well, that's what I heard.
Really?
Fuck.
Come on, we got a lot
of work to do. Let's go!
It is our understanding...
that General Buford has been
ordered to march the orphans...
to the border
and formerly demand that...
Governor Jim Farley allow
them passage into Idaho.
Clearly, Governor Farley
is going to be the man of the hour.
Governor?
You really want to get down off
that damn ledge there.
You don't want
to be slipping or nothing.
I'm terrified of heights myself.
Shit.
Look at that commotion down there.
News crews.
National Guard, crowds.
Yeah, I just realized something,
I created that,
Well, you sure as hell did,
Governor.
Now, why don't you just
come down there off the edge...
- you know you could slip...
- I love the edge.
That's where life is.
I know that about you, Governor.
That's for sure.
And nothing ever happens
in the middle, the edge.
That's where it all happens.
- You still fuck your wife?
- What?
Yeah, after a few years.
It fades.
The mating urge, I mean.
I haven't slept with Eleanor
for three years.
We're all just animals,
you know that, don't you?
Yeah, I know that Governor,
but the White House...
- has Federal troops coming in...
- Scratching for our...
little piece of turf.
Mating like animals
for a few years...
all in the name of that thing
they call romance and then it fades.
The males have to go
looking somewhere else...
- to plant their seed.
- Jesus.
Juan Pablo Farley!
John Paul in Spanish,
named after the last Pope.
Governor, I don't think we want
to get into that right now.
I mean, we got
our National Guard...
keeping out about a million
Juan Pablos right now.
Well, hell yes! That's because there
is a million of them...
but one single Juan Pablo,
one cute little kid.
One future leader that'll take
our nation to greatness...
you're telling me
we keep him out? My son?
No way!
- Jack?
- Yes, Sir?
Who allowed the media in here?
Well, its better to have them on
the inside of the tent pissing out...
than outside the tent pissing in.
All right, let's start
at the beginning.
How the hell do we stop this thing?
It's already gone too far.
We can order General Buford
to withdraw his troops.
That's weakness.
Well, then we can wait
for the deadline and attack.
- Madness.
- Well, its one thing or the other.
I know which one I would choose.
Mr. President,
the public hates weakness.
It shows up in all the polls.
Well, we've got another problem...
and you're not
going to want to hear it.
When we set these deadlines...
we we're presuming
that it wouldn't go this far.
If the shit hits the fan...
it's going to wind up spilling over
into "All My Children."
For Christ sake!
Mel, I'm trying to find Vinnie.
He took the minicam and
said he smelled a better story.
I got to go,
they're movin out now.
Mel, you dimwitted schmuck, its me.
Your favorite person in the world.
Vinnie!
How are you doing, Vinnie?
Where are you? Palm Beach?
Basking at Malibu?
I'm on the Idaho side of the border.
I'm about to send back the most
important shots of the whole crisis.
"You know something, Vinnie...
I don't even know
why I'm talking to you."
If I'm not mistaken, you we're fired.
Really? That's great.
Because now that I'm a freelancer...
that means you have to pay me
a whole lot of money for these shots.
Or hire me back with a raise.
Vinnie, there is
zero probability of that.
Yeah?
Take a look at this, my friend.
It's a cowboy boot.
What does that have to do
with anything?
The gonzo has lost his mind.
Wait. Vinnie, it's Jim.
Move in on the shoulder patches.
"Excuse me, would you mind
turning around?"
"Jim, you're on the verge
of breaking the code, I can tell."
Since when have you ever seen
cowboy boots on a guardsman...
except in that peace
we had last year...
about that group
that is in Montana?
Montana? What does
that have to do with anything?
Look at the shoulder patches,
Montana National Guard.
"Told you, now look here.
Hey guys, how are things in Fargo?"
We're from Bismarck.
North Dakota.
Jesus Christ, if the Governors
from the other states...
are sending
in their National Guards...
"News Net has just learned that...
America is on the brink
of a Civil War."
"It is no longer just Idaho
against the Federal Government."
"Our Producer, Vince Franco...
has just sent these images of troops
from Montana, North Dakota...
and possibly other states
that are prepared to fight."
"Sometimes the choice
between war and peace...
between survival
and destruction...
can hang on a gesture,
a word, and a reflection."
"After any major crisis,
we could always look back...
and find out that one moment
that'd change it all."
"That instant when a line
is drawn in the sand...
and there's no turning back."
Well, you're actions
are unconstitutional and illegal...
I'm ordering you
to remove this road block.
You posing for the cameras again,
Chuck?
My orders come from the President.
What I got to do is ensure...
that these children are admitted
into the state of Idaho.
Well, I have orders
from the Governor of Idaho...
to see that that does not happen.
Well, you know there won't be
no second chance, don't you?
Wrong again. Chuck.
This is your second chance
to be first, into Kuwait.
How dare you?
Turn the little rag heads around.
By the way, you still owe me
a case of whiskey...
from that card game in Sarajevo,
you cheap son of a bitch.
What's going on?
Retreating is not an option!
Fuck this fascist shit!
No!
Twenty hours to go, people.
Eleven states supporting Farley,
and counting.
Mel, the difference is,
is that this one here...
it has these three
little exclamation marks.
There are no exclamation marks.
Well, I could just sort
of have them fade off then...
- just right after this thing...
- The country is falling apart...
we don't need
exclamation marks, okay?
Mel, I got an even better idea.
A telethon like Jerry Lewis thing
only with orphans and all that stuff?
- Is this a work in progress?
- Mel, just think for one second...
its your own rule,
"The Three Ts of Great News...
tits, tots and tears."
Christ, we got two "T"s
right off the bat.
Then we get Helena to dress up
one of those pushup things...
- It's a classic idea, Matthew.
- Then we got the three "T"s!
- Twenty hours left, Mel.
- Okay.
What's with Christina?
Nobody's going home tonight,
we're ordering in.
I could swear she's having
an affair with Farley.
God, I hope so, we can get
some milage out of it.
Don't be ridiculous...
this is a news outfit
not a gossip column.
Don't get pious with me, Alan.
We're talking
about what makes people tick...
If Christina is fucking
the Governor of Idaho...
it is nobody's business
but Christina's!
What, Alan, what'd you say?
Christina is what?
Christina is fucking
the Governor of Idaho?
I know where you're
going with this thing, Mel.
- I don't believe this!
- Mel, you're not going to turn...
that raving lunatic
into a human interest story!
- It's Christina.
- Jesus Christ.
Hello, Christina?
Yeah, no, you look a little pale,
something new? What's the matter?
No, Christina. I don't need you
on the Mexican border.
I need you where you are in Idaho.
And by the way, I,
I can't commend you enough...
on the job you're doing
with the Governor.
Who are these guys,
they were'nt here an hour ago.
I got a battalion
of Chinese out here.
Hundreds of them.
What Chinese?
If that's Vinnie, I don't care if
he's got the ghost of Chairman Mao...
no overtime.
Have a nice day, Sandy.
Excuse me, who are you?
Where you from?
Rhode Island.
"The Colonel says to tell you...
that we are the Rhode Island
National Guard."
"That we are American Citizens...
who will do our duty
in this conflict..."
Yeah?
Sir? Sir?
The Governor of Rhode Islands
on News Net.
- What?
- The Governor of Rhode Islands...
on News Net.
"Our actions in support of
Governor Farley have been taken...
because of boat loads and planes
of refugees from Mainland China...
who continue to descend
on Rhode Island...
it is becoming increasingly
difficult to cope and to govern."
"We therefore are supporting
the position taken by Idaho...
in closing its borders...
and declaring that we too have
the right to close our borders...
as we see fit..."
- You know what they say, Jim?
- No, what do they say, sir?
Character is destiny.
We all have our destinys.
And I have mine.
How soon are we going to be
on the plane?
Because we got to get there
by tonight, okay?
- God.
- Christina.
What are you doing here?
- I need to talk to you.
- There is nothing to talk about.
- Yes, there is.
- What?
I want to know what it would take
to make you change your mind.
- You couldn't begin...
- Try me.
Anything.
Just name it.
I want the man
I fell in love with.
Terrific, I do just
as you advise.
Dot every ethnic "I"
and cross every racial "T"...
and what do we get,
the goddamn Chinese...
our goddamn Chinese,
for Christ sake.
Side with that prick Farley
and his red necks?
Is this what it's all about?
Sitting at the bottom
of the goddamn melting pot...
when it's all boiled away
and there's nothing left but lumps!
Well, you can always renege
on that deal with Kenya Nkomo...
and that nation of Islam group.
How many Electoral College votes
do they control?
Sixty, seventy on a good day.
- How about the Koreans?
- Well, twenty-six?
There's your answer.
Well, no, not necessarily.
We could let in
a million more Koreans.
Jack up the Electoral Votes
to eighty and bingo...
you've got them eating chop suey
right out of your hand.
- Mr. President?
- What?
They've blown up
the Statue of Liberty.
"At the height of the Reagan era,
it was this...
a gala event
that thrilled American...
when the refurbished
Statue of Liberty was unveiled."
"And tonight, it is this."
"A shattered mass
of steal and dreams."
"A group calling itself...
Patriots for Farley
has claimed responsibility...
in a message phoned
into News Net that reads...
We will no longer take in
the huddled masses of the world..."
I need to know that I can trust you.
"Security around Americas
most revered historic sights...
such as the Liberty Bell
in Philadelphia...
has been heightened in the wage
of the destruction of the Alamo..."
All right, turn that thing off.
Everybody get back in their tents.
I don't think so, Major.
I don't think I heard you right.
"You heard me, Major.
My sister lives in Idaho."
"I didn't get into this army
to fight other Americans."
"Especially for this bullshit."
- "At ease, Sergeant."
- "Fuck you, Sir!"
"No cameras!
I said, no cameras!"
"Put it down, asshole!"
"He shot the Major! My God!"
"My God, they have shot the officer,
killed the officer in charge."
- "They're shooting at others."
- "Hey, get that camera!"
They killed them.
They killed their own officer.
So, what do you expect,
you can only push people so far.
What the fuck are you talk...
What, are you trying
to justify murder here?
No.
You know, fuck you, Manieski!
Push me, you motherfucker.
Mutiny?
But this is the army.
The U.S. Army.
Shit.
You all obey orders now,
you hear me?
Goddamn!
I think we should get out of here.
Not yet.
- Now?
- Yeah.
What are you getting
unravelled for now?
We're inside, not outside.
Mel, you just don't get it, do you?
Its all outside, now.
Just get used to it.
There's desertions
all over the place.
Well, tell Buford
to get some movement...
anything to pull it all together.
Move some armored brigades out.
- We can't.
- What do you mean, "We can't?"
Most of the tanks need spare parts
for the turbine compressors.
So, what am I,
a repair shop foreman?
Get the goddamn parts, fix them!
- We can't.
- What are you telling me?
Hold on a minute.
Mr. President.
After the free-trade talks
you signed with Taiwan...
we stopped making spare parts
because they could make them cheaper.
And then you got into that argument,
that dialogue with them...
and they stopped shipping us
any military parts.
Let's look on the bright side,
shall we?
I mean, after all the glass
is really half full.
I mean, about those seventy
Electoral College votes.
See, we don't really need
the nation of Islam...
the Chinese, the Koreans,
or hell, anybody.
What we do is take the Irish off
birth control...
they will breed like rabbits.
I know, they're my people.
They fuck like drunking minks...
we'll be up to eighty votes
in no time at all, by God...
Line them up!
"And we're being ordered
out of the area now."
"Military's ordered us away."
"They're setting up
a firing squad right over here...
this is not happened before."
"They're going to execute three..."
- Hey, turn that camera off!
- Hey, what are you doing?
Get the hell out of here!
What, you're not really
going to shoot these guys, are you?
Who is this guy?
Get this guy out of here!
Are you going to shoot these guys?
What, now you're going to shoot me?
You're not going to shoot me.
You can't shoot me...
"we're on national television here,
okay?"
"Come on, let these guys go..."
Get out of here!
"Go ahead! Kill your own!
Kill America!"
"There's nothing left of it anyway!"
"Just a bunch a politicians
and executives...
who hire people in places
we don't live!"
"Are you going to kill for that?"
Squad ready!
Go ahead you bastards!
Aim.
"Fire!"
They shot them.
Shit! What is this?
"Please, we're on the air."
"In other news...
- related to this..."
- "Fuck this..."
- We're killing our own people!
- Helena, we're on the air!
In other news,
the White House has said...
that they will be making
a statement...
Fuck you, Matthew,
there is no other news!
About this, particular situation...
Get her off.
Our News Net correspondents
are there.
We will bring you this
when we hear it.
"And we have, I believe now,
four correspondents..."
at the White House, as soon as...
- There is no other news!
- As soon as we are able...
Shut up! Shut up, you little wanker!
Shut up!
Don't you get it?
There is no other news!
Shut up!
- This has to be your decision.
- It was made a long time ago.
I just don't want you
to feel like you have to...
Jimmy, I'm going to want
to make a statement...
to the press in the morning,
about an hour before the deadline.
Mr. Buchan.
I have some information that
you might want to know about.
Mr. President.
Secession!
He's going to announce one hour
before the deadline...
that Idaho's going to secede...
and start a whole new country
like the South did in the Civil War?
Well, that's what
this News Net guy said, yeah.
How the hell does he know?
Well, I'm not supposed
to know this...
but it seems that
one of their reporters is...
shacking up with Farley.
That son of a bitch.
He's waging a public relations war!
You're damn right.
And if I know anything...
I know P.R. and
that is what runs this country!
- Now, if Eisenhower we're...
- Forget Eisenhower.
Yeah, but don't forget,
you're on the line for those orphans.
Screw the orphans.
We went out on a limb for them,
what did they get us in return?
Every damn ethnic group
in the country crying the blues.
This isn't a time for Eisenhower.
It's a time for Lincoln.
Lincoln took the bull
by the horns...
when the South
tried to secede gentlemen.
If Lincoln was here...
you think he'd let a bunch
of orphans decide everything?
I've said it all along, action.
Jesus Christ, what now?
What the hell,
nobody lives forever.
Let's get a story!
This one's for the Duke.
"This is Blaine Gorman reporting
from just inside the Idaho border."
"The Federal troops have attacked!"
"There is war. The Second Civil War
has just broken out...
two hours before the deadline."
"All around me are..."
"Blaine!"
"It's too late, Eddie. Come on."
I'm trying to remember the words
to the pledge of allegiance.
I said it a million times
when I was a kid.
Right now...
I can't seem to remember the words.
Jack?
What in God's name is this?
- Action. Not a reaction.
- Why? Farley was going to quit!
What are you talking about?
You told me yourself
and we had to take action...
before Farley made
his secession speech.
I said succession, not secession.
He was going to step down.
He was going to announce...
that he was going
to hold a convention...
to choose someone
to succeed him, for Christ sake!
What are you yelling for?
He's going to marry
Christina Fernandez...
and raise Mexican babies.
Well, the President's
in his Lincoln mode right now...
and I think this would just
confuse the shit out of him.
So, I think we had just better
play this one out?
Alan, why isn't our logo
on that shot, please?
I promised my wife.
I'd be home to make breakfast.
"I read years ago that
someone once said...
Those whom the gods destroy,
they first make mad."
"Or maybe its just that
we're an unfinished piece of art...
part tragedy, part comedy, part joy,
part farce, a work in progress."
"But, for the moment...
we're still painting
and writing in blood."
"And it always seems to come out
of a lot of suffering."
"And someday, after it all dries,
it will be magnificent."
"But until then, like all art,
its messy as hell."
"Border has been
restored throughout the country...
and within the secession of the
military activities now a week old...
the former president
appealed for calm."
"And in other news,
the delayed broadcast...
last night of Susan Luci's
final episode of "All My Children"...
in which Erica finally
runs off with Antonio...
become the most watched
television program in history..."
outdoing even
the final episode of...