The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) Movie Script
Huh?
Hi! Todd Mahar, eHarmony.
How can I help you today?
Hi. I can't seem to leave
a wink for someone.
I don't know, is my page broken?
Do I maybe have
a broken page, or...
I've never heard
of that, but, okay.
You're trying to use your eHarmony
account for the first time?
I am.
Okay.
I'm looking at your profile.
We have a pretty intricate
matching algorithm.
That's what distinguishes us from
other online dating services.
Yeah, I like that.
Actually, I'm just trying to
leave a wink for one person.
Cheryl Melhoff.
She started in my division
at work about a month ago...
and I overheard her near the bagels
saying she was on your site.
Okay, that's unique.
But let me ask you.
You left a lot of this stuff...
like the "Been There, Done That"
section, you left it blank.
Yeah, I think I skipped it.
Okay, you got to
help me out here, man.
Don't skip stuff.
Okay, well, I haven't really been
anywhere noteworthy
or mentionable.
Have you done anything
noteworthy, mentionable?
Hello, you still there?
Can you hang on a second?
Go, go, go!
Get out! Get out!
She's gonna blow! Go! Go!
Chips!
Over here!
Chips! Thank you!
How did you know
about the building?
I heard barking,
thought I smelled gas.
I hope it's okay.
I engineered
a prosthesis for Chips
while I was sprinting
down the stairwell.
A little hip-joint assembly
with a drop-ring lock and
an anterior pelvic band.
God, you're noteworthy!
I just live by the ABC's:
Adventurous, Brave, Creative.
That's everything I want in a man.
My man?
Hey, my man, you still there?
Hey.
What? Did you
pass out or...
No, I just like,
zoned out for a second.
Okay. Do you do that a lot?
Normal amount, I guess.
Yeah, I got to run. Sorry.
Okay, but we need a lot more...
Hey. Bad day to be late.
We just got acquired.
What?
Yeah, over the weekend.
Walter! Happy birthday!
Whoo-hoo!
He's 42 years old!
Odessa!
What are you doing here?
Mom made you your
favorite clementine cake.
Aren't you supposed to be
at the retirement place
with her getting the
piano moved in?
Yes, I was there.
It's like halfway done...
piano's out of the van, it's on
the street, everything's fine.
But I just got a phone
call about a really
big audition,
so can you go finish it?
No, I can't. I'm late.
Walter, I...
I don't think you're seeing
this from what I need.
What do you need?
I need to be Rizzo in Grease.
I don't understand that.
My audition! Rizzo!
Rizzo?
Rizzo! She's tough and tender!
Do me a favor, please.
Make sure Mom's piano gets moved
in all the way. All right?
Don't go to Rizzo!
Oh, thanks, Walter.
Happy birthday!
Guess what?
We just got acquired.
Yeah, I heard.
Yeah, there's gonna be changes.
Downsizing of us into some kind
of dot-com thing, possibly.
I wonder how this thing goes down,
how the transition's
gonna play out.
I could probably tell you.
Ted Hendricks, managing
director of the transition.
Hey. Tim Naughton.
Sales.
Gary Mannheim, graphic design.
And what do you do, cake man?
Oh, uh...
The cake's just for today.
I'm not a cake man.
I do...
I deal dirctly...
"Dirctly"?
Directly with LIFE's
photo units...
I'm sorry, I was really
getting into this song
and I stopped listening to you.
I was saying, you know who
looks good in a beard?
Dumbledore, not you.
Guy?
Guy?
What do you do?
I'm a negative asset manager.
Worth the wait.
Mind over matter
Ted.
Donny.
Feeling tough?
Feeling good.
Well, got to make
some tough calls ahead.
You been here before, yeah?
Yeah, so this is it, huh?
Yeah, the "house of pictures. "
Hey.
Hi.
How was your weekend?
I had an awesome weekend.
And what did you do this weekend?
Um... Let's see.
I bathed in Arctic
mountain water...
while my Latin lover
recited verse to me.
You slut.
I know.
Actually, I waited for my refrigerator
repairman, who never came.
I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna call you later.
Okay.
The ice, yes?
She moves like a woman.
I'm Walter. Mitty.
Cheryl. Melhoff.
Where have you been?
Testing the limits
of the human "espirit".
I'd like to climb your
hair, test that out.
Perhaps I can contact you,
possibly through my poetry falcon.
Poetry falcon.
I like that.
Do you think, if I hit him with
a paper clip, would he move?
I don't know.
Do it.
Hello.
I actually threw
a toner box at him once.
Yeah? Did he move?
No, I missed.
That's a great story.
Ground Control to Major Tom.
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Oh!
Wow.
Moving on, as they say.
Conference room,
more of these stations here...
where people sort
of do their thing.
Layout's here for...
Morning, Hernando!
There's a new nut
pouch, did you hear?
Yeah. I met him.
We're gonna be evaluated.
They won't be able to. We do
intricate details back here.
Yeah.
It's tricky.
And bewildering.
I should evaluate you,
you should evaluate me.
I don't think
they'll let us do that.
Just saying.
Hey, how long has this neg roll
been here... out in the open?
It says "Sean O'Connell. "
It came in this morning.
There's a present, too. He sent
you a present, on your desk.
Sean O'Connell
still shoots on film.
That results for
me in a man crush.
Hey, you want to mount these?
Seriously?
Sure.
Heard rumblings LIFE'S done, man.
Wanted to say thanks.
Take a look inside, a gift for
all the years of hard work.
Sorry about the neg roll.
I spilled some blood on it...
while self-stitching
a gun wound to my abdomen...
but number 25 is my best ever.
The quintessence
of life, I think.
I trust you'll get it
where it needs to go...
you always do.
What did you get?
It's a wallet.
With LIFE's motto on it.
Here you go.
Where's 25?
It's not there.
Hey, we need negative 25.
Sean O'Connell sent a telegram.
An actual telegram.
A 100-year-old dude
came in a little hat.
So there's a floor meeting.
Bring 25.
It's here somewhere.
We'll find it.
Okay, make a contact sheet of
these frames as soon as you can.
And don't say anything to anyone.
Yeah.
I just wanted to inform you
all reluctantly, that...
I guess, just start back
from the beginning.
Okay. I just wanted to inform
you all reluctantly...
that this month's issue
will be our last.
What?
Yeah. What?
This is some bull!
It's sad...
...news, for sure.
Now, you're all valued employees.
But as we undergo this
transition to LIFE online...
we wanted to be candid with you...
that some of you will be
determined non-vital employees...
to the new partnership.
And we'll be deciding
which of those positions...
will be remaining with us over
the course of the next week.
Also, we feel sad about
that, as you can see.
Now for some good news.
We are very excited...
All right, Don.
Ted Hendricks. Managing
director of the transition.
Never fun, this stage.
But we do have ahead of us
the privilege of publishing...
what will be the very last
issue of LIFE magazine.
And for the final issue,
we just received a telegram.
Come on.
From Sean O'Connell...
who has never,
I'm told, been willing...
to speak with the executives here.
Well, he broke his long silence
and shared his thoughts with us...
through that old man.
Sean O'Connell.
"I expect full consideration
of negative 25 for cover.
"My most grand.
"The quintessence of life. "
What is that?
It means like the
fullest and most rich.
Okay. So our cover will probably
be the most famous ever...
because it really will have the
big quintessence of all time.
Very full and so rich.
So let's see this thing. Huh?
Let's see it.
Can we... What am I doing up here?
What's going on?
We'll receive it now
from Negative Assets.
This gentleman.
The last man in.
Negative Assets.
What's that?
Ah, Major Tom.
Can I get that?
It's being processed.
All right. Well, let's do it.
Let's process some quintessence.
Come on.
Go.
Now.
That's why I'm clapping.
When do we go to press?
Two and a half weeks.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm Walter.
Cheryl. Melhoff.
Mitty.
Yes.
You work in Photo Accounts, right?
I do.
Negative Assets.
Yes. I am.
You're processing the last cover photo.
That's a big deal.
Yeah, it's... there's a...
we have a glitch.
Mini, on that one right now.
I wanted to say, to you...
do you maybe have an address
for Sean O'Connell?
Um... It's not really
that easy with him.
He moves around so much. I don't.
Yeah, he's on a freelance.
I don't know where and
he doesn't have a phone.
No phone? He's old school.
Yeah.
But, you know, why don't
I check with Peg?
I know she just processed
a check for him.
And we could track his pay-out maybe.
Find him that way?
Cool. Very cool.
Okay.
Walter.
Yes.
I'm on it.
Thanks.
Yes. Are you coming?
Yes, I'm not.
Yes, I have to stay.
Here's the contact sheet.
What do you see?
This photo cluster.
These three.
They're the only printable ones.
He took them around the
same time he took 25.
They could give us a clue
to where Sean is.
Blow them up, all right?
Cool.
Hey.
Walter, right?
Yeah.
So, I called Peg about Sean.
She's gonna get back to me.
Oh! Hey, thanks.
Cool glasses, very Sand People.
These? No,
these are loupes.
They're for work.
They magnify the...
Is that 25? Can I see?
That's... No.
I can't quite find 25...
just now.
You can't find it?
Yeah. That's why
I'm trying to find Sean.
I'm trying to track him down
somehow with these other images.
His whereabouts?
Yeah.
I take this class,
Writing the Mystery Novel.
Anyway, they say the key
is to work backwards.
You connect the clues and then
scatter them so they seem unrelated.
There's like a whole
science to it.
May I?
Sure.
Okay. Thumb.
Yeah. It's an unknown thumb.
Okay. Water?
Just water, I guess?
Yeah, just water.
Okay.
And...
like a curved piece of...
some kind of, part of a thing.
But the thing with clues,
my teacher says...
is you really only need one good
one, and then they'll connect...
and you'll be like, "Oh, yes, of
course, unknown thumb, water...
"I should have seen this
the whole time. Ahh!"
Yeah, yeah, I'll be like...
Well, anyway, I should get
back and try not to get fired.
Hey, Cheryl.
I have something creative
I've been working on, too.
Oh.
Little side project.
Walter, it's amazing!
Walter?
I was just saying I'll let you
know when I hear back from Peg.
Okay. Thank you.
Okay.
Hey, Odessa.
What?
Is there a larger apartment
available the piano could fit in?
Because it's a memento of our mom's.
That's a really big...
Most people sell their really big
mementos before they move here.
My dad bought it for her
the year they were married.
It means a lot to her.
That's a villa. It's a
little more costly...
but it has a more generous, piano kind
of size living room for you though.
Yeah. Yeah,
this is good.
On move-in,
you'd need first month's,
last month's, and full deposit.
That's $4,700.
Great.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, we'll take it.
I'll get the paperwork.
The new villa comes
open in three weeks.
I'm guessing.
Happy birthday.
Stretch Armstrong!
That's cool.
Yeah. Isn't that awesome?
This was your favorite thing when
we were little. Do you remember?
You want to do it?
Yeah, all right.
Come on, Stretch!
Good, good!
Come on, we got to go.
A villa, okay, but hey, I'm
not the Queen of Sheba.
You got to have
room for your piano.
You can stay at my place
until it's ready.
I won't be cramping your scene?
My scene? No.
And sorry we couldn't
get you in here today.
Walter!
Look what I found!
This is from you
and Tim Linderman.
Do you remember, we were
gonna backpack Europe?
That June Dad died?
Man! What is in here?
That's my Walter box.
Some of my Walter
knick-knacks and keepsakes.
You made the best mix tapes!
Oh, man.
What? What's that?
Travel journal Dad gave me.
Oh.
You should donate that, because
you never used it, to a poor kid.
A poor kid who's
gonna travel to Europe?
Look at you and your dad!
Is that my tournament one?
He was so proud of this.
Sharing your accomplishments
with the whole world.
It's from the Fairview
Smalltowner, Mom.
Well, I really
liked that nifty mohawk.
You know, when your daddy died...
and then you went to work
in that pizza place...
the one that was named after a father,
had that father kind of name.
Papa John's.
Yeah, delivery.
And I thought perhaps that
it was really sad for you...
working in a restaurant
named after a father
after your father just died.
I never even thought about that.
Probably because
I didn't call Dad "Papa. "
You had a weird style.
That wasn't my style.
That was a uniform. KFC.
My worker bee.
"Word in the water"?
Okay, you know what?
I got to go.
We're getting you into
a villa situation, okay?
Okay.
Good, everybody?
My worker bee...
and my performance artist bee!
Thank you, Mom.
Hernando.
Hey.
I don't see anything.
Upper middle.
It's faint. There's a
word in the water.
I'm getting nervous, Walter.
Hey, this is an ocean.
That's a boat.
"Erkigsnek. "
He was near this boat.
See you in a few.
I'll check the mailroom.
Final cover.
Big responsibility.
Oh, is that my quintessence?
No.
We're prepping the wetting agents
on that to start the process.
Really? Because it looks like
you're playing with toys.
No, this is a gift.
Yeah, the negative needs to
go through a very technical...
I'm sorry. I can't have a
professional conversation with you.
You and your little blonde pal.
Let's...
You can't walk through
the office with him.
Let's have it.
I'll put it away.
Give me the toy, man!
No!
Now.
This is a place of business,
not a place of jelly-man toys!
Get off it!
No, I'm taking it!
You can't just take my stuff!
It's mine!
Give it to me!
No!
Stop fiddling with sweets
and little men!
I'm trying to do my job!
Are you the Tin Man?
Need a little oil can?
Jesus.
Picture.
- Hello?
- Hey!
Hey.
What's up?
Who is this?
Todd.
From eHarmony.
Oh! Hi.
When I lost you there,
I was saying...
we need to beef your profile up,
make it, you know, not blank.
Real quick, let's build your
"Been There, Done Thats. "
Okay. Been there...
Um...
Phoenix.
I forgot why.
Then Nashville...
but that was just
the airport on the way
to Phoenix, so I don't
know if that...
Uh-huh...
Hey, man, I was thinking,
if you work with this girl...
why don't you just
humanly invite her out?
No, no, no, I'm trying to do like
a "Pia Colada Song" thing.
"Pia Colada Song"?
Yeah, you know, a guy posts
an ad, looking for a lover...
and then his wife answers it...
and it turns out they were soul
mates and didn't even know it...
and they end up making love
in capes, or on a cape.
It's a song? Can you
sing a little bit?
If you like pia
coladas, getting caught in the rain
You know that song?
I have to go.
Is that Hall & Oates?
Hey!
Hey.
Is that another clue?
Yeah. This one's okay.
Yeah?
There's a boat there, I think.
"Erkig... "
Snek.
Erkigsnek?
Yeah.
Sounds like a real clue.
Yeah, it's the boat's name.
Have you Googled it?
I was on my way to.
Yeah. N-U.
It's the first two letters
of the port city.
Buffering.
So, the park...
I got to run up there
and pick up my son.
He's skateboarding with a friend.
Do you want to walk up with me?
Starting now?
Yeah, starting now.
Okay.
Yeah, we got to figure this out.
It's a big deal.
You lost a Sean O'Connell.
I used to work at Nabisco.
And then, I had a change...
and I decided to apply to LIFE.
Thought it would be more
colorful, less regular, I guess.
You know, I just like
the idea of it.
I like the motto of the company.
Do you know it?
"To see the world...
"Things dangerous to come to...
"To see behind walls. "
Yeah, I...
I got this, from Sean.
He gave this to you?
Yeah.
I like that,
"TO DRAW CLOSER."
So, what's he like in person?
Sean?
Yeah.
Well, I haven't actually met him.
I mean, we talk a lot, but...
I've been his point guy here
ever since I started.
How long ago was that?
16 years.
16 years?
Oh, my gosh. Wow.
Well, you have
nothing to worry about.
With the layoffs, I mean.
I've been here for a month.
"Last in, first out," right?
Oh. Sorry.
It's Rich's dad.
It's your...
Former. Newly former.
But we've been sort of...
I don't know.
I don't need to get it.
So, what kind of skateboard
does your son have?
Um, I have no idea!
It's oblong. I don't know.
Why?
No, I just...
I used to... I was kind
of into the scene.
The skateboard scene?
Yeah.
Wow!
Hi, Peg.
Yeah, it's Sean O'Connell, we
actually need to find him.
Yes. If you could hurry.
Kickflip.
Yeah.
It's a good one
for the repertoire.
I'm Walter.
Rich.
Yeah, we think he might know
something or have an asset we need.
You know, you just got to get
a little more snap...
get that thing up there.
Want me to show you something?
Sure.
Here.
I like your trucks.
Thanks.
Now check this out.
Know about the flick?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, we've finished processing
his April work order.
Yes, it's kind of important.
Did you forward the job 1090s?
Or his last salary?
Wow!
Wow!
Here you go.
That was awesome.
So it could be either place.
Thanks, Walter.
Okay. Thanks, Peg.
All right.
Hey, so...
Sean's definitely not in New York.
Peg said she sent multiples.
I don't know if you know
how it works with him.
She sends copies because we
never know where he's gonna be.
And this week she sent 1090s
to Princeton, New Jersey.
Oh, great.
Train ride.
And one to Greenland.
Just in case.
Greenland, the country?
That's...
You can't take a train there.
No.
Well, maybe he's in Jersey.
Yeah.
Yeah, is your phone done
buffering with that ship's name?
Yes! Look.
Here it is.
Nuuk, Greenland.
Yeah!
Come on, that's a good lead!
You should follow that up.
Yeah, follow it up in Greenland.
Yeah. Why not? Go!
Crack the case.
Listen to your wallet.
Sorry, it's my... it's Phil again.
Maybe he fell down a well or something.
Maybe I should get it.
Hey, buddy! Here!
Rich, Rich! Not so fast! Here!
Take that.
Yeah. I understand.
Okay. Bye.
He did fall down a well.
But I don't care.
I just want to be
with you, you know?
Really?
Let's run away together. Let's make
every moment count, starting now.
Sweet!
Can I tell you something?
Anything.
I have that
Benjamin Buttons thing.
Where you get old, but smaller.
Or whatever, and become a
gradual old baby. Or something.
I didn't see the movie, so I
don't really know how it works.
But I have it.
We can still
build a life together.
Cool.
I like your snappy little suit.
I bought it at a doll store.
Oh. Cool.
My little heart is no
bigger than a quarter...
but it's as full as Fort Knox.
You're the bravest
man I've ever known.
I love you, baby.
Not like "baby," like...
because you look like a
little weird baby-man.
I get it.
Thank you for such
a wonderful life.
Just nestle in here and die.
Good-bye, Walter.
Good-bye! Walter!
Walter!
Walter!
Bye!
Oh!
Sorry! I was just...
Where do you go?
I started thinking about...
No, it's okay, I was probably boring
you about my broken refrigerator.
No!
Rich!
My son's running into
the street. I have to go.
Yeah.
I wanted to tell you,
that song, "Major Tom"?
Back there, when
the beard guy was...
He doesn't know what
he's talking about.
That song is about courage
and going into the unknown.
It's a cool song.
Rich!
Yo!
Where's my thing?
It's in a silver bath.
I don't even know what language
you're speaking right now.
You know, you got
to take me seriously.
I got a magazine to execute here.
And bosses to answer to.
So next time I see you,
I see that picture. Okay?
Hey! Dream Machine!
Hello?
I want proof you heard me.
Next time I see you...
You see the picture.
That's right!
Any luck, Hernando?
I turned the place
upside-down. 25 is not here.
I searched Receiving, too, man.
This never happens!
I'm telling you...
it's nowhere, Walter.
I mean, maybe he
didn't even send it.
Maybe it's still on him.
Walter?
Walter!
Something filled up
My heart with nothing
Someone told me not to cry
Now that I'm older
My heart's colder
And I can see that it's a lie
Hi.
Hi.
Do you have any cars available?
Yeah, we have a blue one
and a red one.
I'll take the red one.
You were working
as a waitress In a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up
And turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Hi.
Hi.
Can I ask you, could
someone receive mail here?
An American? Sean O'Connell?
I think he might have received
mail at this address.
You want a drink?
Okay. Yeah, I guess...
a small beer shoe.
So, could somebody get mail here?
Heli mail.
"Heli mail"?
We helicopter mail to the
ships when they pass by.
We are pub and helipad.
Yeah. Wait, the Erkigsnek?
Yeah. Erkigsnek.
Erkigsnek.
We flew mail to her Tuesday.
I'm gonna take it
down a little, here.
I just want to
speak from the heart.
I lost a good lady.
I feel this song is helping me
feel like I'm not alone.
Even though I pretty much am.
Come on, let's sing it.
Everyone.
Let's sing it together.
Don't you want me, baby?
Do you know who
flies the mail out?
Do you have regular pilots?
Hey, man.
Just keep it going, man.
Hey.
Sing it.
No, no, thank you.
I'm all right.
Come on, man. Go on.
I was working as a waitress
Yeah, I know it.
I'm okay. Thank you.
I'm on a business trip,
I'm working.
Come on, man. This song
is important to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sing it.
Okay.
I was working as a waitress in a
cocktail bar that much is true
Okay?
That sucked.
Do your work.
You don't have to push.
What if I poke you?
Don't poke me.
Do your work, man.
Don't poke me!
I'm poking you.
What am I doing?
Stop poking me!
Don't poke me!
Hey!
Come on!
Aah!
Wait, wait.
Wait!
Your thumb! I have to talk
to you about your thumb!
Yeah. I flew mail out
to the Erkigsnek Tuesday.
Gave him a ride.
He took that photo
of my hand on the stick.
I'm just blown away
I located your thumb.
There is, like, eight
people in Greenland.
I mean, it's a good
place to find a thumb.
Don't cheat on your lady, man...
when you live in a country that
only has eight people in it.
By the way.
So, uh...
You're scrappy.
You're a little scrappy Duncan.
So, you're trying
to find this guy?
Yes. Yeah.
Well, I'm flying some radio parts
out there in five minutes.
He may still be on the boat.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe you could come with me.
Yeah, or maybe I could just
call him on the boat phone.
The boat phone?
Yeah, the phone on the boat.
You mean the ship-to-shore?
Yeah, maybe I could just ask
him on the ship-to-shore.
Their radio is broke.
That's why I'm
flying out there now.
Oh.
You're flying out right now?
I'm just gonna finish my beer.
The weather doesn't look so great.
It's not.
Looks like there's
a storm moving in.
Yeah.
A-brewin'.
Yeah.
But you're just...
you're just gonna
finish your beer...
and then fly a machine?
Yeah.
I'm kind of nervous
about the storm.
I just want to get
a couple of beers down.
Okay. I'm not gonna go with you.
Yeah.
Whatever.
See you, man.
Okay.
See you.
Okay.
Shut up!
Hi. Hello, everyone.
Hi. Uh...
Hello, Nuuk.
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
Okay.
This one goes out to Walter Mitty.
He knows why.
Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills
And put your helmet on
Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition
And may God's love be with you
This is Ground Control
to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know
whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave
the capsule if you dare
This is Major Tom
to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
in the most peculiar way
And the stars look
very different today
For here am I
sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
and there's nothing I can do
Hey.
Glad you came.
Are you comfortable?
What?
Are you comfortable?
No!
Hold on tight.
Hey, there she is!
Where do we land?
We don't!
What?
We don't land.
Okay, Walter.
I was gonna drop the radio
parts into the boat.
You take them.
They're right next to you.
These?
Yeah.
Just jump in the boat.
You got them?
Just jump in the boat?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're doing great, Walter!
What do you mean,
"jump into the boat"?
What would be the best way of
reaching you to stay in touch?
I don't know. Wait!
What do you mean
"jump into the boat"?
It looks far away!
Yeah, but you got to go now!
Go, go, go!
Go!
No!
No, Walter!
I meant the other boat!
The little boat!
Help!
Help! Help!
Try to remain calm.
The pontoon boat
is coming for you.
You have at least a minute
before you freeze!
What?
You are safe!
There's something here!
There's a fin here, I think!
We are traveling through
a porpoise school!
Don't fear the porpoise!
I don't think it's a porpoise!
I'm telling you, it's a porpoise.
Be friendly.
It will protect
you from the sharks.
Okay.
Come here.
Hey!
Hey.
Okay, that's a shark.
That's what I said!
Jesus!
Stop befriending it!
Kill it!
It's not a porpoise!
It's not a porpoise!
Poke his eyes out!
Fight it!
Oh, my God.
That really happened?
Real face.
Sorry for palming your face.
Oh, my God.
A pilot boat came.
They took him four hours ago.
Before the storm.
Took him where?
Iceland.
Is there any way
that we could radio him?
It's very important that I
discuss something with him.
You jumped into the ocean
with our radio components.
They are lost.
Correct?
Yeah, that's correct.
You're American?
Yeah.
Excellent!
Fonzie!
Come on, I'll find you some
dry clothing, homeslice.
Will this work?
For your items?
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Hey, I'll take this, buddy.
Okay.
Hungry?
Sure.
I got some kick-ass cake, man.
Thank you.
Looking good.
You can keep it.
Hey, this is...
This is clementine cake.
This is clementine cake.
My mom makes this.
Yeah, Sean brought it.
Yeah.
Good.
Is this Sean's?
Yeah, he wrapped the cake in it.
This is a shoot itinerary.
It's a field itinerary
for a photo...
Did he say anything
about where he was going?
No, he didn't say much.
He was just taking pictures of
these guys, the Chilean deckhands.
He even gave me some tips...
for my Instagrams.
Facebook friends?
Yeah, sure.
Great.
What is "Eyjafallajokull"?
Eyjafjallajokull.
Excuse me?
Eyjafjallajokull.
What is that?
It's in Iceland.
It's a volcano.
A volcano?
Yeah.
May 2nd. That's tomorrow.
Do you think there's any way...
that we could possibly
land in Iceland?
Yeah.
Yeah?
We have to in the morning.
Great.
Because you lost the radio.
Right, yeah, sorry.
Sorry. But that's...
Well, I just have to get to...
Eyjafjallajokull.
Right.
Hey, I'll see you on
Sesame Street, man.
Okay, you're here, and
this is Eyjafjallajokull.
It's 15 kilometers.
Okay.
You can take the shore bike.
But you better get going, man.
Yeah, he didn't write a time
on that clue paper.
No, man. Hurry.
Because of...
What? I don't understand.
What he means, man,
is you have to hurry...
because there's a bunch
of horny Chileans...
who want to go to the strip club.
There's only one bike.
Hurry, Walter, hurry! Run! Go!
Go!
Stay gold, Pony Boy!
Hello?
Hey, what's up?
Todd? From eHarmony?
Yeah! What's up, man?
Not much. How have you been?
Good. It's early here.
I just got up, man.
I was thinking about you.
Where are you?
Los Angeles.
Hey, so your profile still
hasn't received any winks.
Even though I put that
you've been to Phoenix.
Oh!
I jumped out of a helicopter
yesterday into the ocean.
And had a shark fight.
Yeah, listen,
I was mentioning before...
people who daydream too
much, they're not...
No, it was real.
I really did.
Really? Then I'll put
down "adrenaline junkie. "
What kind of a shark?
Hey, Todd.
I can't really talk right now.
I'm on my way to a volcano.
What the...?
Hey.
Hi. Hey.
Do you guys speak English?
I'm looking for Eldgos Street.
Eldgos?
Is that a street?
Is this Eyjafjallakuta?
Something like that?
I don't think this guy
knows what eldgos is.
It's a long board.
Yeah.
What is that?
Is that Thor, or...
Odin?
A Norse god?
He's cool.
Hey.
Would you maybe
want to make a trade?
I know a kid who
would love that board.
It's cool. Look,
he stretches.
Here, come here and check it out.
Yeah. He's fun.
Yeah, it's lots of stretching fun.
Oh, man. We can tie
that around your sister...
Want to do it?
Yeah?
Great. Great.
Thank you.
Hello?
Hello?
Hi.
Hi.
Do you speak English?
The hotel is closed.
Okay, yeah.
I'm trying to find this guy.
This man, Sean O'Connell.
I think that he possibly
might have stayed here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a plane for him.
At 1:00.
Fifteen minutes.
He's at airfield in StykkishImur.
In the valley.
Next town south.
Where is it?
StykkishImur.
"Tickishoumer"?
Yeah.
No, no!
Is it straight down that way?
Thank you!
It's all right, I know him!
Step in front of a runaway train
Just to feel alive again
Pushing forward through the night
Aching chest and blurry sight
It's so far, so far away
It's so far, so far away
Hello. Hello.
Come on, come on. Eldgos!
What's going on?
Where is everybody?
Eldgos.
Eldgos!
Eldgos. Eldgos.
What does that mean?
Eretion.
Erertion?
Erection!
"Erection"?
Yes. No!
Eruption!
Eruption!
Yes.
Sean.
Faster! Go faster!
Holy shit! Faster!
Oh, my God!
Thanks for coming back for me.
I really appreciate it.
I hope you find your man.
Thanks.
Yeah.
There's a motel
near the pizza place there.
Good luck.
Photographic Accounts.
Cheryl.
This is Cheryl Melhoff.
Hey, it's Walter Mitty.
Hey. I'd walked
down to say hi to you
about an hour ago,
and you weren't there.
That's because, guess what.
I'm in Iceland.
Iceland?
Wait, wasn't it Greenland?
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
You know that they're
not the same place.
No, no, no. I went to
Greenland and then...
I got on a fishing vessel tracking
Sean and ended up here in Iceland.
You're in Iceland.
Yeah. At a Papa John's.
Hey, I got more clues.
What did you find?
There's a date that Sean wrote.
And some words on a cake wrapper.
"Rajqawee," "Buzkashi"...
and "Warlocks. "
Wait. They have a Papa
John's in Iceland?
Yeah. I just had to...
I just left.
Did you get kicked out?
No, I just needed to leave.
Just the atmosphere.
And the cups.
Hey, I was right on Sean's trail.
Then I lost him.
"Strong little man. "
Thanks.
No. "Rajqawee" means
"strong little man"...
in, like, 40 Arabic countries.
And "Buzkashi" is
"goat hockey"...
in Central Asia.
And "Warlocks"...
Yeah.
I was hoping they would connect.
So, you said that you left Papa
John's because of the cups?
Is there something I should
be aware of as a customer?
No, I just worked there,
that's all.
I used to have a mohawk...
and a backpack...
and this idea of who I wanted
to be and what I wanted to do.
Yeah?
Nothing. Just...
I was pretty close with my dad.
And he died when I
was 17, on a Tuesday.
And we didn't have any savings.
So I got a haircut
that Thursday...
and a job the same Thursday.
Papa John's?
Yeah.
Your dad let you have a mohawk?
He shaved my head.
That's a good dad move.
Yeah.
Is it nice there?
Yeah, it is.
It's really beautiful.
Well, it's pretty sucky here.
Human Resources
has already started
letting some of the staff go...
so it'll be a lot different
when you get back.
Hey, I picked something up for...
I think I lost you.
You know what? I'll catch
you up when I see you.
Great. Okay.
All right. Okay.
Bye, Walter.
Bye, Cheryl.
What's going on?
They shut down two floors.
Why do you look rugged?
I see you.
I see you!
What did I say?
I see you.
The photograph.
Now. Let me see it.
He looked it up. There's no
such thing as a silver bath.
Listen, there was uncertainty
about the negative.
I understood that, hopefully,
it was in Iceland.
It was in your care.
If you just give
me some more time...
You're fired.
We'll make another cover.
Hey!
More than a million, way more,
negatives have come through my office.
I have never mislaid one.
Put it on a plaque.
Hang it at your next job.
Now I got to explain
this to the board?
Hey.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
That's cool.
It's a skateboard.
It's for Cheryl's son.
Cheryl's not in.
She was let go.
I told you, man, it's bad.
Hey! That's my fern.
Thank you.
Hi.
Hi.
Can I...?
Yeah.
I'm looking for Cheryl Melhoff.
You want Cheryl?
Yeah. She's...
We work together, and she was
helping me with a work thing.
Cheryl.
Honey?
There's some guy here.
What?
From work.
Okay, hold on.
I'm on the phone.
It's Conan.
Tonight, First Lady Michelle
Obama, Walter Mitty.
Can we talk about your love life?
I think people
would be interested.
You don't want to know
about my love life.
I think they do.
Yeah, I think they do. Now, I
don't believe everything I read.
There's a scandal?
A little scandal?
A little scandal, yes.
She was back with her
husband, or something.
Then she fell for you?
Where there's smoke,
there's fire.
You're awesome, Walter.
Thanks.
Sure.
Can you turn this off?
It stays on.
I'm just going to get out.
Hey, Mom.
Hi, honey.
Walter, you got to tip these guys.
We got the piano back safe, Mom.
Are you back from your work trip?
Yeah, this morning.
Hungry?
Mmm-hmm.
I'm making soup.
Thanks.
Hey, tipping time now.
This is all I got.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
All right, thanks, everybody.
For all your hard work.
We appreciate it, ma'am.
You did great.
You just let yourself out.
He's good for this.
Are you gonna stay for dinner?
Oh, Mom, I'd love to.
I think I'm just really wiped out
after supervising moving
that thing all day.
I think I just need to go to
yoga and then just crash.
What is it? A class?
Yes, yoga.
It's a class. I go to the hot
kind, where they heat the room.
Have you heard of that?
Sure.
You have?
It's great for you.
You just get it all
out of your system.
You get your sweat out, you just
get everything, all your fear.
I'm waiting on a call
about an audition.
That Grease show?
Yeah.
Rizzo?
Yeah. I'm really excited about it.
What's good about this is that
I just don't worry about it.
I just get out of my head.
Is that good for you?
I feel like it's good
in a class like this.
I mean, I'm not going to get
paid for it, which is fine.
It's not about money.
Wonderful.
And I feel like...
It's just for kids, but I think it's
important for them to start early.
I'm really thrilled, Mom.
I think I'm just
going to enjoy it.
Just standing in front
of people and talking.
You'll be good at that.
Yeah.
You'll really be good at that.
I think so, too, Mom.
Hey. Mom?
Yeah.
Did somebody take a picture of
your piano, like, a week ago?
I did.
With Sean's camera.
Sean O'Connell's camera?
Yeah, he came to visit.
Mom, what?
Yeah.
He wanted to know
about your work schedule,
when you left, when you came home.
He said you really
understood LIFE.
He was really
interested in your work.
Mom, why didn't you tell me?
I told you. I told you
in the produce aisle.
I remember that.
Maybe you were...
Odessa, what is it you call it when he
goes into one of his little places?
"Zoned out. "
You do that now and then.
What's the matter?
I got fired.
I lost a picture of his.
Can you find it?
No, I don't know where he is.
He's someplace with warlocks or...
Warlords.
No, warlocks.
No. Warlords.
Sean said he had to meet
with warlords very soon...
and maybe he would take my cake
so that he could get permission...
to trek through
the wilds and places.
He said he wants to photograph
snow leopards. How about that?
Who?
"Ungoverned Afghanistan. "
Mmm-hmm.
That's where Sean is.
Crazy Afghanistan. Yeah.
In the upper Himalayas.
They can't let you go.
You were Sean's partner.
He told me...
that you were the person
who worked the hardest...
to make sure his work was
realized the way he wished.
You finish his work.
Heaven is a switchboard
that you want to fight
She would even miss you
if you taught her sight
Power politician leaning
to the right
Baby's got a trust fund
That she'll want to
go off like that
Get off of my stack
Leave a little window
Get off of my stack
Now we wear same-colored
yellow uniforms
Sky is burning but at
least we know we're warm
Go and run yourself
a million miles
Hoping that the colors run out
And you go off like that
Get off of my stack
Stack
Hey, Todd.
Hey, what's up?
Not much.
Hey, good news. Your profile
really rounded out, man.
That volcano-shark combo.
That is money in the bank. Get
ready to get a lot of winks.
Okay.
But something else.
Cheryl Melhoff...
she's not on here
anymore. Withdrawn.
Oh.
Really?
Yeah.
Hey, man, where are you now?
Himalayas.
The Himalayas.
I love it.
That is a kick-ass
"Been There. "
Todd, I'm gonna keep this short.
I have to make oxygen choices.
Hey, I get it. so!
Anyway, you have a
profile now. Congratulations.
Cool, but, you know what?
Would you take me off?
I can't really swing that $500 yearly.
Hey.
Hey, man.
You're sure?
Because I feel like
we're really onto something here.
Do you mind? I'm working.
This is one of the best
profiles I've ever done.
And our refund policy,
well, we don't have one...
Todd, I got to go.
Sean.
Yeah.
It's Walter.
Mitty.
Walter Mitty.
Seriously?
How the hell did you get up here?
I just...
I've been looking for you.
Sit down.
I'll sit.
Well, take your time.
Settle in.
Try to be real still, okay?
There's a snow leopard.
Right in this ridge.
So we have to try to be very,
very, very, very still.
They call the snow
leopard the "ghost cat. "
it never lets itself be seen.
Ghost cat?
Beautiful things
don't ask for attention.
Sean, there was a negative that
got separated from your roll.
I'm taking a lot of
heat over it at work.
It never came with the
roll that you sent.
The last roll
you're talking about?
Yeah.
The 25.
Yeah.
You're sitting on it.
Why am I sitting on it?
It's in your wallet.
That was the gift.
The photograph.
The wallet was just something
I could put it in.
So, I put it in a little slot, the
little picture holder in there.
I thought it would be cute.
I told you,
"look inside. "
In the note.
You said "look inside. "
I thought you meant look
inside of the wrapping paper.
Yeah? Well, you got a real
nice surprise coming.
No, I don't have it.
I don't have it anymore.
Whoa!
What the hell were you thinking?
I mean, I'm sorry, I've admired
you for a very long time...
but that is not a good move, at
all, with a valuable negative.
Sorry, I just...
I thought it would be
a playful kind of thing.
Playful?
Too playful.
I see what you're saying.
With the cover, I should have
been more straightforward.
But can I ask you, I mean,
if you don't mind...
what did you do with the wallet?
Chucked it.
Well, that hurts my feelings.
No. Man, I liked it very much.
I appreciated it very much.
So you threw it away?
So, you have no idea what it was?
The photograph?
It's a shame.
It was a beauty.
How did you find me, anyway?
My mom.
Cool lady. Knows how to bake.
Yeah.
Hey, Why did you...
Shh!
When are you gonna take it?
Sometimes I don't.
If I like a moment...
I mean, me, personally...
I don't like to have the
distraction of the camera.
Just want to stay in it.
Stay in it?
Yeah, right there.
Right here.
Now it's gone.
It's gone.
That looks like fun.
I think I'm gonna jump in.
Hey, what was the picture, Sean?
We're gonna be odd-numbered
if you don't join.
What was the picture?
Let's just call it a
ghost cat, Walter Mitty.
What's in your hand
You're pinned down to routines
Elevate and leave
The flickering screen
Where nothing is compromised
Nothing is lost
When everything is realized
Nothing is crossed
You made the watch list.
How did you get to Afghanistan?
There's a travel ban.
Through Yemen.
Violent place.
That's why the air
fare is only $84.
Can I have my fife back?
Do you know anyone in Los Angeles?
No.
Any acquaintances? Okay.
Any companions?
Anybody here who might be able to
verify that you're Walter Mitty?
Walter Mitty?
Yeah.
Todd Mahar.
eHarmony.
Hey.
Thank you.
Thanks.
What? Come here.
Come here.
Backpack.
Big hug!
Airport prison, huh?
Yeah.
Tell me all about it over
a Cinnabon. Come on.
Cinnabon!
How long were you
detained for, by the way?
Like, 17 hours.
Wow! How's that Cinnabon taste?
Really great.
That's frosted heroin. That's
what you're eating, my friend.
That's what you're having
right there, man.
By the way...
you got 300 winks before I
took down your profile.
In the space of two hours.
It was crazy.
I thought I was selling
concert tickets.
I never checked.
Oh! Because of...
the "Pia Colada" girl that quit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cheryl.
Cheryl, who did not respond
to a single wink...
the whole time she was on there.
That's a choosy lady.
That's a choosy lady.
How's the...
daydreaming going?
Lately, less.
Good.
Less is good.
Thanks for the pastry.
Yeah, well, you owe me.
I'll send you a check
as soon as I sell the piano.
You have a lot on your plate.
What are you gonna do now?
Go out and get another job.
Boom!
Sorry, Walter, I just...
What?
You are so not how I pictured you.
How did you picture me?
I pictured you as a little
gray piece of paper.
But now I see you...
and it's like Indiana Jones...
decided to become the lead singer
of The Strokes or
something like that.
It's nuts. I know.
Sorry, Mom.
What for?
Dad bought it for you.
It was my responsibility.
Oh, Walter.
We're all grown here.
We're all good.
Ooh!
That's heavy duty, that sum.
You should put
this in your wallet.
I don't have one.
Oh.
I found it in the trash.
I always save your knick-knacks.
Thanks.
Got it, Mom?
Got it.
Watch the stairs.
I think this works.
Heart of America. Different
generations. This says it all.
Oh, hey. Welcome.
Wait, I'm sorry, not welcome.
Not an employee.
Sorry.
There's the picture
Sean wanted. 25.
You have two days
to print for cover.
There's your quintessence.
Hey.
Do you know our motto?
"Life...
"I'm lovin' it?"
No.
That's McDonald's.
This thing that you do, Ted...
where you come into a place
and you push people out.
You should know that those
people worked really hard
to build this magazine.
They believed in the motto.
And I get it. You got
your marching orders...
and you have to do
what you have to do.
But you don't have
to be such a dick.
Put that on a plaque, and
hang it at your next job.
What was it? Sasquatch?
A unicorn?
The negative?
Yeah.
I didn't look.
You were a good boss, Walter.
Thanks, man.
Hey, Walter.
What's up?
Check this out.
See you!
Hi.
Walter Mitty. Severance package.
Hey.
Cheryl.
Hey.
Hey.
I got that email
from Rich yesterday.
He's really good.
Walter, thank you.
That was...
That was just a really
cool thing to do.
I just saw it in Iceland.
He loves it.
And I'm taking him this afternoon.
Hey, I wanted you to know...
you weren't boring me.
That day in the park.
I was...
I was thinking about...
I hope this doesn't sound weird,
but I was thinking about you.
When I was in Greenland,
they do karaoke there...
and I had to get on this helicopter,
with a very drunk pilot.
And I started to imagine you...
singing Major Tom.
Anyway...
it got me on the helicopter.
And it got me
where I wanted to go.
So, what happened to you?
You sort of fell off the
face of the Earth there.
For a little bit.
I came by and...
your husband answered so I
figured I should just go.
Phil. He was
fixing my refrigerator.
And he's not my husband.
I guess I imagined...
I thought maybe you
got back together.
You have a good imagination.
But no.
Hey, my sister got
this role in Grease.
Rizzo.
Not on Broadway.
In some weird church.
Do you want to go with me?
I made that sound really not good.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
I would love to.
Grease in a weird church?
Are you kidding?
Rizzo, that's the best part.
Yeah, Rizzo.
Tough and tender.
Yeah.
Great.
Are you heading Uptown?
Sure.
Yeah?
I actually always
related to Rizzo more.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Was it the smoking
and the teenage sex?
No. She was just real, I guess.
Oh!
The last issue, it should be here.
It came out this morning.
Man. Walter.
Should we go buy one of those?
Yeah. I was probably gonna...
Probably gonna go back later?
Yeah.
I just didn't want to seem
uncool and get one right away.
There's a rhythm
in rush these days
Where the lines don't move
and the colors don't fade
Leaves you empty
with nothing but dreams
In a world gone shallow
In a world gone lean
Sometimes there's things
a man cannot know
The gears won't turn
and the leaves won't grow
There's no place to run
and no gasoline
Engine won't turn
And the train won't leave
Engines won't turn
And the train won't leave
I will stay with you tonight
Hold you close
'til the morning light
In the morning watch
a new day rise
We'll do whatever
just to stay alive
We'll do whatever
just to stay alive
Well, the way I feel is
the way I write
Racin' like the thoughts
of the man who lies
There is a truth and
it's on our side
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Look into the sun
as the new days rise
And I will wait
for you tonight
You're here forever
and you're by my side
I've been waiting all my life
To feel your heart
as it's keeping time
We'll do whatever
just to stay alive
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Look into the sun
as the new days rise
There's a rhythm
in rush these days
Where the lines don't move
and the colors don't fade
Leaves you empty
with nothing but dreams
In a world gone shallow
In a world gone lean
But there is a truth
and it's on our side
Dawn is coming, open your eyes
Look into the sun
as a new days rise
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Dark as night,
let the lightning guide you
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Living life
Feeding appetites
Stake through every heart
stop in the mood
Being glad
Breathing half the time
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Dark as night,
let the lightning guide you
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Broke to Monday
Something's not the same
Blank head
Cross tiles sweep the floor
Feel your presence
in your absence
Shut the door
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Dark as night,
let the lightning guide you
Must believe in
Step outside
Take a step outside
Take a step outside
Must believe in
Step outside
Take a step outside
Take a step outside
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
You know I love my lady
We've been together so long
Like a worn-out recording
Of my favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin'
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns,
There was this letter
that read
If you like pia coladas
Or getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you like making love
at midnight
In the dunes of the cape
Then you're the lady
that I look for
Come with me and escape
Hi! Todd Mahar, eHarmony.
How can I help you today?
Hi. I can't seem to leave
a wink for someone.
I don't know, is my page broken?
Do I maybe have
a broken page, or...
I've never heard
of that, but, okay.
You're trying to use your eHarmony
account for the first time?
I am.
Okay.
I'm looking at your profile.
We have a pretty intricate
matching algorithm.
That's what distinguishes us from
other online dating services.
Yeah, I like that.
Actually, I'm just trying to
leave a wink for one person.
Cheryl Melhoff.
She started in my division
at work about a month ago...
and I overheard her near the bagels
saying she was on your site.
Okay, that's unique.
But let me ask you.
You left a lot of this stuff...
like the "Been There, Done That"
section, you left it blank.
Yeah, I think I skipped it.
Okay, you got to
help me out here, man.
Don't skip stuff.
Okay, well, I haven't really been
anywhere noteworthy
or mentionable.
Have you done anything
noteworthy, mentionable?
Hello, you still there?
Can you hang on a second?
Go, go, go!
Get out! Get out!
She's gonna blow! Go! Go!
Chips!
Over here!
Chips! Thank you!
How did you know
about the building?
I heard barking,
thought I smelled gas.
I hope it's okay.
I engineered
a prosthesis for Chips
while I was sprinting
down the stairwell.
A little hip-joint assembly
with a drop-ring lock and
an anterior pelvic band.
God, you're noteworthy!
I just live by the ABC's:
Adventurous, Brave, Creative.
That's everything I want in a man.
My man?
Hey, my man, you still there?
Hey.
What? Did you
pass out or...
No, I just like,
zoned out for a second.
Okay. Do you do that a lot?
Normal amount, I guess.
Yeah, I got to run. Sorry.
Okay, but we need a lot more...
Hey. Bad day to be late.
We just got acquired.
What?
Yeah, over the weekend.
Walter! Happy birthday!
Whoo-hoo!
He's 42 years old!
Odessa!
What are you doing here?
Mom made you your
favorite clementine cake.
Aren't you supposed to be
at the retirement place
with her getting the
piano moved in?
Yes, I was there.
It's like halfway done...
piano's out of the van, it's on
the street, everything's fine.
But I just got a phone
call about a really
big audition,
so can you go finish it?
No, I can't. I'm late.
Walter, I...
I don't think you're seeing
this from what I need.
What do you need?
I need to be Rizzo in Grease.
I don't understand that.
My audition! Rizzo!
Rizzo?
Rizzo! She's tough and tender!
Do me a favor, please.
Make sure Mom's piano gets moved
in all the way. All right?
Don't go to Rizzo!
Oh, thanks, Walter.
Happy birthday!
Guess what?
We just got acquired.
Yeah, I heard.
Yeah, there's gonna be changes.
Downsizing of us into some kind
of dot-com thing, possibly.
I wonder how this thing goes down,
how the transition's
gonna play out.
I could probably tell you.
Ted Hendricks, managing
director of the transition.
Hey. Tim Naughton.
Sales.
Gary Mannheim, graphic design.
And what do you do, cake man?
Oh, uh...
The cake's just for today.
I'm not a cake man.
I do...
I deal dirctly...
"Dirctly"?
Directly with LIFE's
photo units...
I'm sorry, I was really
getting into this song
and I stopped listening to you.
I was saying, you know who
looks good in a beard?
Dumbledore, not you.
Guy?
Guy?
What do you do?
I'm a negative asset manager.
Worth the wait.
Mind over matter
Ted.
Donny.
Feeling tough?
Feeling good.
Well, got to make
some tough calls ahead.
You been here before, yeah?
Yeah, so this is it, huh?
Yeah, the "house of pictures. "
Hey.
Hi.
How was your weekend?
I had an awesome weekend.
And what did you do this weekend?
Um... Let's see.
I bathed in Arctic
mountain water...
while my Latin lover
recited verse to me.
You slut.
I know.
Actually, I waited for my refrigerator
repairman, who never came.
I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna call you later.
Okay.
The ice, yes?
She moves like a woman.
I'm Walter. Mitty.
Cheryl. Melhoff.
Where have you been?
Testing the limits
of the human "espirit".
I'd like to climb your
hair, test that out.
Perhaps I can contact you,
possibly through my poetry falcon.
Poetry falcon.
I like that.
Do you think, if I hit him with
a paper clip, would he move?
I don't know.
Do it.
Hello.
I actually threw
a toner box at him once.
Yeah? Did he move?
No, I missed.
That's a great story.
Ground Control to Major Tom.
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Oh!
Wow.
Moving on, as they say.
Conference room,
more of these stations here...
where people sort
of do their thing.
Layout's here for...
Morning, Hernando!
There's a new nut
pouch, did you hear?
Yeah. I met him.
We're gonna be evaluated.
They won't be able to. We do
intricate details back here.
Yeah.
It's tricky.
And bewildering.
I should evaluate you,
you should evaluate me.
I don't think
they'll let us do that.
Just saying.
Hey, how long has this neg roll
been here... out in the open?
It says "Sean O'Connell. "
It came in this morning.
There's a present, too. He sent
you a present, on your desk.
Sean O'Connell
still shoots on film.
That results for
me in a man crush.
Hey, you want to mount these?
Seriously?
Sure.
Heard rumblings LIFE'S done, man.
Wanted to say thanks.
Take a look inside, a gift for
all the years of hard work.
Sorry about the neg roll.
I spilled some blood on it...
while self-stitching
a gun wound to my abdomen...
but number 25 is my best ever.
The quintessence
of life, I think.
I trust you'll get it
where it needs to go...
you always do.
What did you get?
It's a wallet.
With LIFE's motto on it.
Here you go.
Where's 25?
It's not there.
Hey, we need negative 25.
Sean O'Connell sent a telegram.
An actual telegram.
A 100-year-old dude
came in a little hat.
So there's a floor meeting.
Bring 25.
It's here somewhere.
We'll find it.
Okay, make a contact sheet of
these frames as soon as you can.
And don't say anything to anyone.
Yeah.
I just wanted to inform you
all reluctantly, that...
I guess, just start back
from the beginning.
Okay. I just wanted to inform
you all reluctantly...
that this month's issue
will be our last.
What?
Yeah. What?
This is some bull!
It's sad...
...news, for sure.
Now, you're all valued employees.
But as we undergo this
transition to LIFE online...
we wanted to be candid with you...
that some of you will be
determined non-vital employees...
to the new partnership.
And we'll be deciding
which of those positions...
will be remaining with us over
the course of the next week.
Also, we feel sad about
that, as you can see.
Now for some good news.
We are very excited...
All right, Don.
Ted Hendricks. Managing
director of the transition.
Never fun, this stage.
But we do have ahead of us
the privilege of publishing...
what will be the very last
issue of LIFE magazine.
And for the final issue,
we just received a telegram.
Come on.
From Sean O'Connell...
who has never,
I'm told, been willing...
to speak with the executives here.
Well, he broke his long silence
and shared his thoughts with us...
through that old man.
Sean O'Connell.
"I expect full consideration
of negative 25 for cover.
"My most grand.
"The quintessence of life. "
What is that?
It means like the
fullest and most rich.
Okay. So our cover will probably
be the most famous ever...
because it really will have the
big quintessence of all time.
Very full and so rich.
So let's see this thing. Huh?
Let's see it.
Can we... What am I doing up here?
What's going on?
We'll receive it now
from Negative Assets.
This gentleman.
The last man in.
Negative Assets.
What's that?
Ah, Major Tom.
Can I get that?
It's being processed.
All right. Well, let's do it.
Let's process some quintessence.
Come on.
Go.
Now.
That's why I'm clapping.
When do we go to press?
Two and a half weeks.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm Walter.
Cheryl. Melhoff.
Mitty.
Yes.
You work in Photo Accounts, right?
I do.
Negative Assets.
Yes. I am.
You're processing the last cover photo.
That's a big deal.
Yeah, it's... there's a...
we have a glitch.
Mini, on that one right now.
I wanted to say, to you...
do you maybe have an address
for Sean O'Connell?
Um... It's not really
that easy with him.
He moves around so much. I don't.
Yeah, he's on a freelance.
I don't know where and
he doesn't have a phone.
No phone? He's old school.
Yeah.
But, you know, why don't
I check with Peg?
I know she just processed
a check for him.
And we could track his pay-out maybe.
Find him that way?
Cool. Very cool.
Okay.
Walter.
Yes.
I'm on it.
Thanks.
Yes. Are you coming?
Yes, I'm not.
Yes, I have to stay.
Here's the contact sheet.
What do you see?
This photo cluster.
These three.
They're the only printable ones.
He took them around the
same time he took 25.
They could give us a clue
to where Sean is.
Blow them up, all right?
Cool.
Hey.
Walter, right?
Yeah.
So, I called Peg about Sean.
She's gonna get back to me.
Oh! Hey, thanks.
Cool glasses, very Sand People.
These? No,
these are loupes.
They're for work.
They magnify the...
Is that 25? Can I see?
That's... No.
I can't quite find 25...
just now.
You can't find it?
Yeah. That's why
I'm trying to find Sean.
I'm trying to track him down
somehow with these other images.
His whereabouts?
Yeah.
I take this class,
Writing the Mystery Novel.
Anyway, they say the key
is to work backwards.
You connect the clues and then
scatter them so they seem unrelated.
There's like a whole
science to it.
May I?
Sure.
Okay. Thumb.
Yeah. It's an unknown thumb.
Okay. Water?
Just water, I guess?
Yeah, just water.
Okay.
And...
like a curved piece of...
some kind of, part of a thing.
But the thing with clues,
my teacher says...
is you really only need one good
one, and then they'll connect...
and you'll be like, "Oh, yes, of
course, unknown thumb, water...
"I should have seen this
the whole time. Ahh!"
Yeah, yeah, I'll be like...
Well, anyway, I should get
back and try not to get fired.
Hey, Cheryl.
I have something creative
I've been working on, too.
Oh.
Little side project.
Walter, it's amazing!
Walter?
I was just saying I'll let you
know when I hear back from Peg.
Okay. Thank you.
Okay.
Hey, Odessa.
What?
Is there a larger apartment
available the piano could fit in?
Because it's a memento of our mom's.
That's a really big...
Most people sell their really big
mementos before they move here.
My dad bought it for her
the year they were married.
It means a lot to her.
That's a villa. It's a
little more costly...
but it has a more generous, piano kind
of size living room for you though.
Yeah. Yeah,
this is good.
On move-in,
you'd need first month's,
last month's, and full deposit.
That's $4,700.
Great.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, we'll take it.
I'll get the paperwork.
The new villa comes
open in three weeks.
I'm guessing.
Happy birthday.
Stretch Armstrong!
That's cool.
Yeah. Isn't that awesome?
This was your favorite thing when
we were little. Do you remember?
You want to do it?
Yeah, all right.
Come on, Stretch!
Good, good!
Come on, we got to go.
A villa, okay, but hey, I'm
not the Queen of Sheba.
You got to have
room for your piano.
You can stay at my place
until it's ready.
I won't be cramping your scene?
My scene? No.
And sorry we couldn't
get you in here today.
Walter!
Look what I found!
This is from you
and Tim Linderman.
Do you remember, we were
gonna backpack Europe?
That June Dad died?
Man! What is in here?
That's my Walter box.
Some of my Walter
knick-knacks and keepsakes.
You made the best mix tapes!
Oh, man.
What? What's that?
Travel journal Dad gave me.
Oh.
You should donate that, because
you never used it, to a poor kid.
A poor kid who's
gonna travel to Europe?
Look at you and your dad!
Is that my tournament one?
He was so proud of this.
Sharing your accomplishments
with the whole world.
It's from the Fairview
Smalltowner, Mom.
Well, I really
liked that nifty mohawk.
You know, when your daddy died...
and then you went to work
in that pizza place...
the one that was named after a father,
had that father kind of name.
Papa John's.
Yeah, delivery.
And I thought perhaps that
it was really sad for you...
working in a restaurant
named after a father
after your father just died.
I never even thought about that.
Probably because
I didn't call Dad "Papa. "
You had a weird style.
That wasn't my style.
That was a uniform. KFC.
My worker bee.
"Word in the water"?
Okay, you know what?
I got to go.
We're getting you into
a villa situation, okay?
Okay.
Good, everybody?
My worker bee...
and my performance artist bee!
Thank you, Mom.
Hernando.
Hey.
I don't see anything.
Upper middle.
It's faint. There's a
word in the water.
I'm getting nervous, Walter.
Hey, this is an ocean.
That's a boat.
"Erkigsnek. "
He was near this boat.
See you in a few.
I'll check the mailroom.
Final cover.
Big responsibility.
Oh, is that my quintessence?
No.
We're prepping the wetting agents
on that to start the process.
Really? Because it looks like
you're playing with toys.
No, this is a gift.
Yeah, the negative needs to
go through a very technical...
I'm sorry. I can't have a
professional conversation with you.
You and your little blonde pal.
Let's...
You can't walk through
the office with him.
Let's have it.
I'll put it away.
Give me the toy, man!
No!
Now.
This is a place of business,
not a place of jelly-man toys!
Get off it!
No, I'm taking it!
You can't just take my stuff!
It's mine!
Give it to me!
No!
Stop fiddling with sweets
and little men!
I'm trying to do my job!
Are you the Tin Man?
Need a little oil can?
Jesus.
Picture.
- Hello?
- Hey!
Hey.
What's up?
Who is this?
Todd.
From eHarmony.
Oh! Hi.
When I lost you there,
I was saying...
we need to beef your profile up,
make it, you know, not blank.
Real quick, let's build your
"Been There, Done Thats. "
Okay. Been there...
Um...
Phoenix.
I forgot why.
Then Nashville...
but that was just
the airport on the way
to Phoenix, so I don't
know if that...
Uh-huh...
Hey, man, I was thinking,
if you work with this girl...
why don't you just
humanly invite her out?
No, no, no, I'm trying to do like
a "Pia Colada Song" thing.
"Pia Colada Song"?
Yeah, you know, a guy posts
an ad, looking for a lover...
and then his wife answers it...
and it turns out they were soul
mates and didn't even know it...
and they end up making love
in capes, or on a cape.
It's a song? Can you
sing a little bit?
If you like pia
coladas, getting caught in the rain
You know that song?
I have to go.
Is that Hall & Oates?
Hey!
Hey.
Is that another clue?
Yeah. This one's okay.
Yeah?
There's a boat there, I think.
"Erkig... "
Snek.
Erkigsnek?
Yeah.
Sounds like a real clue.
Yeah, it's the boat's name.
Have you Googled it?
I was on my way to.
Yeah. N-U.
It's the first two letters
of the port city.
Buffering.
So, the park...
I got to run up there
and pick up my son.
He's skateboarding with a friend.
Do you want to walk up with me?
Starting now?
Yeah, starting now.
Okay.
Yeah, we got to figure this out.
It's a big deal.
You lost a Sean O'Connell.
I used to work at Nabisco.
And then, I had a change...
and I decided to apply to LIFE.
Thought it would be more
colorful, less regular, I guess.
You know, I just like
the idea of it.
I like the motto of the company.
Do you know it?
"To see the world...
"Things dangerous to come to...
"To see behind walls. "
Yeah, I...
I got this, from Sean.
He gave this to you?
Yeah.
I like that,
"TO DRAW CLOSER."
So, what's he like in person?
Sean?
Yeah.
Well, I haven't actually met him.
I mean, we talk a lot, but...
I've been his point guy here
ever since I started.
How long ago was that?
16 years.
16 years?
Oh, my gosh. Wow.
Well, you have
nothing to worry about.
With the layoffs, I mean.
I've been here for a month.
"Last in, first out," right?
Oh. Sorry.
It's Rich's dad.
It's your...
Former. Newly former.
But we've been sort of...
I don't know.
I don't need to get it.
So, what kind of skateboard
does your son have?
Um, I have no idea!
It's oblong. I don't know.
Why?
No, I just...
I used to... I was kind
of into the scene.
The skateboard scene?
Yeah.
Wow!
Hi, Peg.
Yeah, it's Sean O'Connell, we
actually need to find him.
Yes. If you could hurry.
Kickflip.
Yeah.
It's a good one
for the repertoire.
I'm Walter.
Rich.
Yeah, we think he might know
something or have an asset we need.
You know, you just got to get
a little more snap...
get that thing up there.
Want me to show you something?
Sure.
Here.
I like your trucks.
Thanks.
Now check this out.
Know about the flick?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, we've finished processing
his April work order.
Yes, it's kind of important.
Did you forward the job 1090s?
Or his last salary?
Wow!
Wow!
Here you go.
That was awesome.
So it could be either place.
Thanks, Walter.
Okay. Thanks, Peg.
All right.
Hey, so...
Sean's definitely not in New York.
Peg said she sent multiples.
I don't know if you know
how it works with him.
She sends copies because we
never know where he's gonna be.
And this week she sent 1090s
to Princeton, New Jersey.
Oh, great.
Train ride.
And one to Greenland.
Just in case.
Greenland, the country?
That's...
You can't take a train there.
No.
Well, maybe he's in Jersey.
Yeah.
Yeah, is your phone done
buffering with that ship's name?
Yes! Look.
Here it is.
Nuuk, Greenland.
Yeah!
Come on, that's a good lead!
You should follow that up.
Yeah, follow it up in Greenland.
Yeah. Why not? Go!
Crack the case.
Listen to your wallet.
Sorry, it's my... it's Phil again.
Maybe he fell down a well or something.
Maybe I should get it.
Hey, buddy! Here!
Rich, Rich! Not so fast! Here!
Take that.
Yeah. I understand.
Okay. Bye.
He did fall down a well.
But I don't care.
I just want to be
with you, you know?
Really?
Let's run away together. Let's make
every moment count, starting now.
Sweet!
Can I tell you something?
Anything.
I have that
Benjamin Buttons thing.
Where you get old, but smaller.
Or whatever, and become a
gradual old baby. Or something.
I didn't see the movie, so I
don't really know how it works.
But I have it.
We can still
build a life together.
Cool.
I like your snappy little suit.
I bought it at a doll store.
Oh. Cool.
My little heart is no
bigger than a quarter...
but it's as full as Fort Knox.
You're the bravest
man I've ever known.
I love you, baby.
Not like "baby," like...
because you look like a
little weird baby-man.
I get it.
Thank you for such
a wonderful life.
Just nestle in here and die.
Good-bye, Walter.
Good-bye! Walter!
Walter!
Walter!
Bye!
Oh!
Sorry! I was just...
Where do you go?
I started thinking about...
No, it's okay, I was probably boring
you about my broken refrigerator.
No!
Rich!
My son's running into
the street. I have to go.
Yeah.
I wanted to tell you,
that song, "Major Tom"?
Back there, when
the beard guy was...
He doesn't know what
he's talking about.
That song is about courage
and going into the unknown.
It's a cool song.
Rich!
Yo!
Where's my thing?
It's in a silver bath.
I don't even know what language
you're speaking right now.
You know, you got
to take me seriously.
I got a magazine to execute here.
And bosses to answer to.
So next time I see you,
I see that picture. Okay?
Hey! Dream Machine!
Hello?
I want proof you heard me.
Next time I see you...
You see the picture.
That's right!
Any luck, Hernando?
I turned the place
upside-down. 25 is not here.
I searched Receiving, too, man.
This never happens!
I'm telling you...
it's nowhere, Walter.
I mean, maybe he
didn't even send it.
Maybe it's still on him.
Walter?
Walter!
Something filled up
My heart with nothing
Someone told me not to cry
Now that I'm older
My heart's colder
And I can see that it's a lie
Hi.
Hi.
Do you have any cars available?
Yeah, we have a blue one
and a red one.
I'll take the red one.
You were working
as a waitress In a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up
And turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Hi.
Hi.
Can I ask you, could
someone receive mail here?
An American? Sean O'Connell?
I think he might have received
mail at this address.
You want a drink?
Okay. Yeah, I guess...
a small beer shoe.
So, could somebody get mail here?
Heli mail.
"Heli mail"?
We helicopter mail to the
ships when they pass by.
We are pub and helipad.
Yeah. Wait, the Erkigsnek?
Yeah. Erkigsnek.
Erkigsnek.
We flew mail to her Tuesday.
I'm gonna take it
down a little, here.
I just want to
speak from the heart.
I lost a good lady.
I feel this song is helping me
feel like I'm not alone.
Even though I pretty much am.
Come on, let's sing it.
Everyone.
Let's sing it together.
Don't you want me, baby?
Do you know who
flies the mail out?
Do you have regular pilots?
Hey, man.
Just keep it going, man.
Hey.
Sing it.
No, no, thank you.
I'm all right.
Come on, man. Go on.
I was working as a waitress
Yeah, I know it.
I'm okay. Thank you.
I'm on a business trip,
I'm working.
Come on, man. This song
is important to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sing it.
Okay.
I was working as a waitress in a
cocktail bar that much is true
Okay?
That sucked.
Do your work.
You don't have to push.
What if I poke you?
Don't poke me.
Do your work, man.
Don't poke me!
I'm poking you.
What am I doing?
Stop poking me!
Don't poke me!
Hey!
Come on!
Aah!
Wait, wait.
Wait!
Your thumb! I have to talk
to you about your thumb!
Yeah. I flew mail out
to the Erkigsnek Tuesday.
Gave him a ride.
He took that photo
of my hand on the stick.
I'm just blown away
I located your thumb.
There is, like, eight
people in Greenland.
I mean, it's a good
place to find a thumb.
Don't cheat on your lady, man...
when you live in a country that
only has eight people in it.
By the way.
So, uh...
You're scrappy.
You're a little scrappy Duncan.
So, you're trying
to find this guy?
Yes. Yeah.
Well, I'm flying some radio parts
out there in five minutes.
He may still be on the boat.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe you could come with me.
Yeah, or maybe I could just
call him on the boat phone.
The boat phone?
Yeah, the phone on the boat.
You mean the ship-to-shore?
Yeah, maybe I could just ask
him on the ship-to-shore.
Their radio is broke.
That's why I'm
flying out there now.
Oh.
You're flying out right now?
I'm just gonna finish my beer.
The weather doesn't look so great.
It's not.
Looks like there's
a storm moving in.
Yeah.
A-brewin'.
Yeah.
But you're just...
you're just gonna
finish your beer...
and then fly a machine?
Yeah.
I'm kind of nervous
about the storm.
I just want to get
a couple of beers down.
Okay. I'm not gonna go with you.
Yeah.
Whatever.
See you, man.
Okay.
See you.
Okay.
Shut up!
Hi. Hello, everyone.
Hi. Uh...
Hello, Nuuk.
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
Okay.
This one goes out to Walter Mitty.
He knows why.
Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills
And put your helmet on
Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition
And may God's love be with you
This is Ground Control
to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know
whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave
the capsule if you dare
This is Major Tom
to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
in the most peculiar way
And the stars look
very different today
For here am I
sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
and there's nothing I can do
Hey.
Glad you came.
Are you comfortable?
What?
Are you comfortable?
No!
Hold on tight.
Hey, there she is!
Where do we land?
We don't!
What?
We don't land.
Okay, Walter.
I was gonna drop the radio
parts into the boat.
You take them.
They're right next to you.
These?
Yeah.
Just jump in the boat.
You got them?
Just jump in the boat?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're doing great, Walter!
What do you mean,
"jump into the boat"?
What would be the best way of
reaching you to stay in touch?
I don't know. Wait!
What do you mean
"jump into the boat"?
It looks far away!
Yeah, but you got to go now!
Go, go, go!
Go!
No!
No, Walter!
I meant the other boat!
The little boat!
Help!
Help! Help!
Try to remain calm.
The pontoon boat
is coming for you.
You have at least a minute
before you freeze!
What?
You are safe!
There's something here!
There's a fin here, I think!
We are traveling through
a porpoise school!
Don't fear the porpoise!
I don't think it's a porpoise!
I'm telling you, it's a porpoise.
Be friendly.
It will protect
you from the sharks.
Okay.
Come here.
Hey!
Hey.
Okay, that's a shark.
That's what I said!
Jesus!
Stop befriending it!
Kill it!
It's not a porpoise!
It's not a porpoise!
Poke his eyes out!
Fight it!
Oh, my God.
That really happened?
Real face.
Sorry for palming your face.
Oh, my God.
A pilot boat came.
They took him four hours ago.
Before the storm.
Took him where?
Iceland.
Is there any way
that we could radio him?
It's very important that I
discuss something with him.
You jumped into the ocean
with our radio components.
They are lost.
Correct?
Yeah, that's correct.
You're American?
Yeah.
Excellent!
Fonzie!
Come on, I'll find you some
dry clothing, homeslice.
Will this work?
For your items?
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Hey, I'll take this, buddy.
Okay.
Hungry?
Sure.
I got some kick-ass cake, man.
Thank you.
Looking good.
You can keep it.
Hey, this is...
This is clementine cake.
This is clementine cake.
My mom makes this.
Yeah, Sean brought it.
Yeah.
Good.
Is this Sean's?
Yeah, he wrapped the cake in it.
This is a shoot itinerary.
It's a field itinerary
for a photo...
Did he say anything
about where he was going?
No, he didn't say much.
He was just taking pictures of
these guys, the Chilean deckhands.
He even gave me some tips...
for my Instagrams.
Facebook friends?
Yeah, sure.
Great.
What is "Eyjafallajokull"?
Eyjafjallajokull.
Excuse me?
Eyjafjallajokull.
What is that?
It's in Iceland.
It's a volcano.
A volcano?
Yeah.
May 2nd. That's tomorrow.
Do you think there's any way...
that we could possibly
land in Iceland?
Yeah.
Yeah?
We have to in the morning.
Great.
Because you lost the radio.
Right, yeah, sorry.
Sorry. But that's...
Well, I just have to get to...
Eyjafjallajokull.
Right.
Hey, I'll see you on
Sesame Street, man.
Okay, you're here, and
this is Eyjafjallajokull.
It's 15 kilometers.
Okay.
You can take the shore bike.
But you better get going, man.
Yeah, he didn't write a time
on that clue paper.
No, man. Hurry.
Because of...
What? I don't understand.
What he means, man,
is you have to hurry...
because there's a bunch
of horny Chileans...
who want to go to the strip club.
There's only one bike.
Hurry, Walter, hurry! Run! Go!
Go!
Stay gold, Pony Boy!
Hello?
Hey, what's up?
Todd? From eHarmony?
Yeah! What's up, man?
Not much. How have you been?
Good. It's early here.
I just got up, man.
I was thinking about you.
Where are you?
Los Angeles.
Hey, so your profile still
hasn't received any winks.
Even though I put that
you've been to Phoenix.
Oh!
I jumped out of a helicopter
yesterday into the ocean.
And had a shark fight.
Yeah, listen,
I was mentioning before...
people who daydream too
much, they're not...
No, it was real.
I really did.
Really? Then I'll put
down "adrenaline junkie. "
What kind of a shark?
Hey, Todd.
I can't really talk right now.
I'm on my way to a volcano.
What the...?
Hey.
Hi. Hey.
Do you guys speak English?
I'm looking for Eldgos Street.
Eldgos?
Is that a street?
Is this Eyjafjallakuta?
Something like that?
I don't think this guy
knows what eldgos is.
It's a long board.
Yeah.
What is that?
Is that Thor, or...
Odin?
A Norse god?
He's cool.
Hey.
Would you maybe
want to make a trade?
I know a kid who
would love that board.
It's cool. Look,
he stretches.
Here, come here and check it out.
Yeah. He's fun.
Yeah, it's lots of stretching fun.
Oh, man. We can tie
that around your sister...
Want to do it?
Yeah?
Great. Great.
Thank you.
Hello?
Hello?
Hi.
Hi.
Do you speak English?
The hotel is closed.
Okay, yeah.
I'm trying to find this guy.
This man, Sean O'Connell.
I think that he possibly
might have stayed here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a plane for him.
At 1:00.
Fifteen minutes.
He's at airfield in StykkishImur.
In the valley.
Next town south.
Where is it?
StykkishImur.
"Tickishoumer"?
Yeah.
No, no!
Is it straight down that way?
Thank you!
It's all right, I know him!
Step in front of a runaway train
Just to feel alive again
Pushing forward through the night
Aching chest and blurry sight
It's so far, so far away
It's so far, so far away
Hello. Hello.
Come on, come on. Eldgos!
What's going on?
Where is everybody?
Eldgos.
Eldgos!
Eldgos. Eldgos.
What does that mean?
Eretion.
Erertion?
Erection!
"Erection"?
Yes. No!
Eruption!
Eruption!
Yes.
Sean.
Faster! Go faster!
Holy shit! Faster!
Oh, my God!
Thanks for coming back for me.
I really appreciate it.
I hope you find your man.
Thanks.
Yeah.
There's a motel
near the pizza place there.
Good luck.
Photographic Accounts.
Cheryl.
This is Cheryl Melhoff.
Hey, it's Walter Mitty.
Hey. I'd walked
down to say hi to you
about an hour ago,
and you weren't there.
That's because, guess what.
I'm in Iceland.
Iceland?
Wait, wasn't it Greenland?
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
You know that they're
not the same place.
No, no, no. I went to
Greenland and then...
I got on a fishing vessel tracking
Sean and ended up here in Iceland.
You're in Iceland.
Yeah. At a Papa John's.
Hey, I got more clues.
What did you find?
There's a date that Sean wrote.
And some words on a cake wrapper.
"Rajqawee," "Buzkashi"...
and "Warlocks. "
Wait. They have a Papa
John's in Iceland?
Yeah. I just had to...
I just left.
Did you get kicked out?
No, I just needed to leave.
Just the atmosphere.
And the cups.
Hey, I was right on Sean's trail.
Then I lost him.
"Strong little man. "
Thanks.
No. "Rajqawee" means
"strong little man"...
in, like, 40 Arabic countries.
And "Buzkashi" is
"goat hockey"...
in Central Asia.
And "Warlocks"...
Yeah.
I was hoping they would connect.
So, you said that you left Papa
John's because of the cups?
Is there something I should
be aware of as a customer?
No, I just worked there,
that's all.
I used to have a mohawk...
and a backpack...
and this idea of who I wanted
to be and what I wanted to do.
Yeah?
Nothing. Just...
I was pretty close with my dad.
And he died when I
was 17, on a Tuesday.
And we didn't have any savings.
So I got a haircut
that Thursday...
and a job the same Thursday.
Papa John's?
Yeah.
Your dad let you have a mohawk?
He shaved my head.
That's a good dad move.
Yeah.
Is it nice there?
Yeah, it is.
It's really beautiful.
Well, it's pretty sucky here.
Human Resources
has already started
letting some of the staff go...
so it'll be a lot different
when you get back.
Hey, I picked something up for...
I think I lost you.
You know what? I'll catch
you up when I see you.
Great. Okay.
All right. Okay.
Bye, Walter.
Bye, Cheryl.
What's going on?
They shut down two floors.
Why do you look rugged?
I see you.
I see you!
What did I say?
I see you.
The photograph.
Now. Let me see it.
He looked it up. There's no
such thing as a silver bath.
Listen, there was uncertainty
about the negative.
I understood that, hopefully,
it was in Iceland.
It was in your care.
If you just give
me some more time...
You're fired.
We'll make another cover.
Hey!
More than a million, way more,
negatives have come through my office.
I have never mislaid one.
Put it on a plaque.
Hang it at your next job.
Now I got to explain
this to the board?
Hey.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
That's cool.
It's a skateboard.
It's for Cheryl's son.
Cheryl's not in.
She was let go.
I told you, man, it's bad.
Hey! That's my fern.
Thank you.
Hi.
Hi.
Can I...?
Yeah.
I'm looking for Cheryl Melhoff.
You want Cheryl?
Yeah. She's...
We work together, and she was
helping me with a work thing.
Cheryl.
Honey?
There's some guy here.
What?
From work.
Okay, hold on.
I'm on the phone.
It's Conan.
Tonight, First Lady Michelle
Obama, Walter Mitty.
Can we talk about your love life?
I think people
would be interested.
You don't want to know
about my love life.
I think they do.
Yeah, I think they do. Now, I
don't believe everything I read.
There's a scandal?
A little scandal?
A little scandal, yes.
She was back with her
husband, or something.
Then she fell for you?
Where there's smoke,
there's fire.
You're awesome, Walter.
Thanks.
Sure.
Can you turn this off?
It stays on.
I'm just going to get out.
Hey, Mom.
Hi, honey.
Walter, you got to tip these guys.
We got the piano back safe, Mom.
Are you back from your work trip?
Yeah, this morning.
Hungry?
Mmm-hmm.
I'm making soup.
Thanks.
Hey, tipping time now.
This is all I got.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
All right, thanks, everybody.
For all your hard work.
We appreciate it, ma'am.
You did great.
You just let yourself out.
He's good for this.
Are you gonna stay for dinner?
Oh, Mom, I'd love to.
I think I'm just really wiped out
after supervising moving
that thing all day.
I think I just need to go to
yoga and then just crash.
What is it? A class?
Yes, yoga.
It's a class. I go to the hot
kind, where they heat the room.
Have you heard of that?
Sure.
You have?
It's great for you.
You just get it all
out of your system.
You get your sweat out, you just
get everything, all your fear.
I'm waiting on a call
about an audition.
That Grease show?
Yeah.
Rizzo?
Yeah. I'm really excited about it.
What's good about this is that
I just don't worry about it.
I just get out of my head.
Is that good for you?
I feel like it's good
in a class like this.
I mean, I'm not going to get
paid for it, which is fine.
It's not about money.
Wonderful.
And I feel like...
It's just for kids, but I think it's
important for them to start early.
I'm really thrilled, Mom.
I think I'm just
going to enjoy it.
Just standing in front
of people and talking.
You'll be good at that.
Yeah.
You'll really be good at that.
I think so, too, Mom.
Hey. Mom?
Yeah.
Did somebody take a picture of
your piano, like, a week ago?
I did.
With Sean's camera.
Sean O'Connell's camera?
Yeah, he came to visit.
Mom, what?
Yeah.
He wanted to know
about your work schedule,
when you left, when you came home.
He said you really
understood LIFE.
He was really
interested in your work.
Mom, why didn't you tell me?
I told you. I told you
in the produce aisle.
I remember that.
Maybe you were...
Odessa, what is it you call it when he
goes into one of his little places?
"Zoned out. "
You do that now and then.
What's the matter?
I got fired.
I lost a picture of his.
Can you find it?
No, I don't know where he is.
He's someplace with warlocks or...
Warlords.
No, warlocks.
No. Warlords.
Sean said he had to meet
with warlords very soon...
and maybe he would take my cake
so that he could get permission...
to trek through
the wilds and places.
He said he wants to photograph
snow leopards. How about that?
Who?
"Ungoverned Afghanistan. "
Mmm-hmm.
That's where Sean is.
Crazy Afghanistan. Yeah.
In the upper Himalayas.
They can't let you go.
You were Sean's partner.
He told me...
that you were the person
who worked the hardest...
to make sure his work was
realized the way he wished.
You finish his work.
Heaven is a switchboard
that you want to fight
She would even miss you
if you taught her sight
Power politician leaning
to the right
Baby's got a trust fund
That she'll want to
go off like that
Get off of my stack
Leave a little window
Get off of my stack
Now we wear same-colored
yellow uniforms
Sky is burning but at
least we know we're warm
Go and run yourself
a million miles
Hoping that the colors run out
And you go off like that
Get off of my stack
Stack
Hey, Todd.
Hey, what's up?
Not much.
Hey, good news. Your profile
really rounded out, man.
That volcano-shark combo.
That is money in the bank. Get
ready to get a lot of winks.
Okay.
But something else.
Cheryl Melhoff...
she's not on here
anymore. Withdrawn.
Oh.
Really?
Yeah.
Hey, man, where are you now?
Himalayas.
The Himalayas.
I love it.
That is a kick-ass
"Been There. "
Todd, I'm gonna keep this short.
I have to make oxygen choices.
Hey, I get it. so!
Anyway, you have a
profile now. Congratulations.
Cool, but, you know what?
Would you take me off?
I can't really swing that $500 yearly.
Hey.
Hey, man.
You're sure?
Because I feel like
we're really onto something here.
Do you mind? I'm working.
This is one of the best
profiles I've ever done.
And our refund policy,
well, we don't have one...
Todd, I got to go.
Sean.
Yeah.
It's Walter.
Mitty.
Walter Mitty.
Seriously?
How the hell did you get up here?
I just...
I've been looking for you.
Sit down.
I'll sit.
Well, take your time.
Settle in.
Try to be real still, okay?
There's a snow leopard.
Right in this ridge.
So we have to try to be very,
very, very, very still.
They call the snow
leopard the "ghost cat. "
it never lets itself be seen.
Ghost cat?
Beautiful things
don't ask for attention.
Sean, there was a negative that
got separated from your roll.
I'm taking a lot of
heat over it at work.
It never came with the
roll that you sent.
The last roll
you're talking about?
Yeah.
The 25.
Yeah.
You're sitting on it.
Why am I sitting on it?
It's in your wallet.
That was the gift.
The photograph.
The wallet was just something
I could put it in.
So, I put it in a little slot, the
little picture holder in there.
I thought it would be cute.
I told you,
"look inside. "
In the note.
You said "look inside. "
I thought you meant look
inside of the wrapping paper.
Yeah? Well, you got a real
nice surprise coming.
No, I don't have it.
I don't have it anymore.
Whoa!
What the hell were you thinking?
I mean, I'm sorry, I've admired
you for a very long time...
but that is not a good move, at
all, with a valuable negative.
Sorry, I just...
I thought it would be
a playful kind of thing.
Playful?
Too playful.
I see what you're saying.
With the cover, I should have
been more straightforward.
But can I ask you, I mean,
if you don't mind...
what did you do with the wallet?
Chucked it.
Well, that hurts my feelings.
No. Man, I liked it very much.
I appreciated it very much.
So you threw it away?
So, you have no idea what it was?
The photograph?
It's a shame.
It was a beauty.
How did you find me, anyway?
My mom.
Cool lady. Knows how to bake.
Yeah.
Hey, Why did you...
Shh!
When are you gonna take it?
Sometimes I don't.
If I like a moment...
I mean, me, personally...
I don't like to have the
distraction of the camera.
Just want to stay in it.
Stay in it?
Yeah, right there.
Right here.
Now it's gone.
It's gone.
That looks like fun.
I think I'm gonna jump in.
Hey, what was the picture, Sean?
We're gonna be odd-numbered
if you don't join.
What was the picture?
Let's just call it a
ghost cat, Walter Mitty.
What's in your hand
You're pinned down to routines
Elevate and leave
The flickering screen
Where nothing is compromised
Nothing is lost
When everything is realized
Nothing is crossed
You made the watch list.
How did you get to Afghanistan?
There's a travel ban.
Through Yemen.
Violent place.
That's why the air
fare is only $84.
Can I have my fife back?
Do you know anyone in Los Angeles?
No.
Any acquaintances? Okay.
Any companions?
Anybody here who might be able to
verify that you're Walter Mitty?
Walter Mitty?
Yeah.
Todd Mahar.
eHarmony.
Hey.
Thank you.
Thanks.
What? Come here.
Come here.
Backpack.
Big hug!
Airport prison, huh?
Yeah.
Tell me all about it over
a Cinnabon. Come on.
Cinnabon!
How long were you
detained for, by the way?
Like, 17 hours.
Wow! How's that Cinnabon taste?
Really great.
That's frosted heroin. That's
what you're eating, my friend.
That's what you're having
right there, man.
By the way...
you got 300 winks before I
took down your profile.
In the space of two hours.
It was crazy.
I thought I was selling
concert tickets.
I never checked.
Oh! Because of...
the "Pia Colada" girl that quit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cheryl.
Cheryl, who did not respond
to a single wink...
the whole time she was on there.
That's a choosy lady.
That's a choosy lady.
How's the...
daydreaming going?
Lately, less.
Good.
Less is good.
Thanks for the pastry.
Yeah, well, you owe me.
I'll send you a check
as soon as I sell the piano.
You have a lot on your plate.
What are you gonna do now?
Go out and get another job.
Boom!
Sorry, Walter, I just...
What?
You are so not how I pictured you.
How did you picture me?
I pictured you as a little
gray piece of paper.
But now I see you...
and it's like Indiana Jones...
decided to become the lead singer
of The Strokes or
something like that.
It's nuts. I know.
Sorry, Mom.
What for?
Dad bought it for you.
It was my responsibility.
Oh, Walter.
We're all grown here.
We're all good.
Ooh!
That's heavy duty, that sum.
You should put
this in your wallet.
I don't have one.
Oh.
I found it in the trash.
I always save your knick-knacks.
Thanks.
Got it, Mom?
Got it.
Watch the stairs.
I think this works.
Heart of America. Different
generations. This says it all.
Oh, hey. Welcome.
Wait, I'm sorry, not welcome.
Not an employee.
Sorry.
There's the picture
Sean wanted. 25.
You have two days
to print for cover.
There's your quintessence.
Hey.
Do you know our motto?
"Life...
"I'm lovin' it?"
No.
That's McDonald's.
This thing that you do, Ted...
where you come into a place
and you push people out.
You should know that those
people worked really hard
to build this magazine.
They believed in the motto.
And I get it. You got
your marching orders...
and you have to do
what you have to do.
But you don't have
to be such a dick.
Put that on a plaque, and
hang it at your next job.
What was it? Sasquatch?
A unicorn?
The negative?
Yeah.
I didn't look.
You were a good boss, Walter.
Thanks, man.
Hey, Walter.
What's up?
Check this out.
See you!
Hi.
Walter Mitty. Severance package.
Hey.
Cheryl.
Hey.
Hey.
I got that email
from Rich yesterday.
He's really good.
Walter, thank you.
That was...
That was just a really
cool thing to do.
I just saw it in Iceland.
He loves it.
And I'm taking him this afternoon.
Hey, I wanted you to know...
you weren't boring me.
That day in the park.
I was...
I was thinking about...
I hope this doesn't sound weird,
but I was thinking about you.
When I was in Greenland,
they do karaoke there...
and I had to get on this helicopter,
with a very drunk pilot.
And I started to imagine you...
singing Major Tom.
Anyway...
it got me on the helicopter.
And it got me
where I wanted to go.
So, what happened to you?
You sort of fell off the
face of the Earth there.
For a little bit.
I came by and...
your husband answered so I
figured I should just go.
Phil. He was
fixing my refrigerator.
And he's not my husband.
I guess I imagined...
I thought maybe you
got back together.
You have a good imagination.
But no.
Hey, my sister got
this role in Grease.
Rizzo.
Not on Broadway.
In some weird church.
Do you want to go with me?
I made that sound really not good.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
I would love to.
Grease in a weird church?
Are you kidding?
Rizzo, that's the best part.
Yeah, Rizzo.
Tough and tender.
Yeah.
Great.
Are you heading Uptown?
Sure.
Yeah?
I actually always
related to Rizzo more.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Was it the smoking
and the teenage sex?
No. She was just real, I guess.
Oh!
The last issue, it should be here.
It came out this morning.
Man. Walter.
Should we go buy one of those?
Yeah. I was probably gonna...
Probably gonna go back later?
Yeah.
I just didn't want to seem
uncool and get one right away.
There's a rhythm
in rush these days
Where the lines don't move
and the colors don't fade
Leaves you empty
with nothing but dreams
In a world gone shallow
In a world gone lean
Sometimes there's things
a man cannot know
The gears won't turn
and the leaves won't grow
There's no place to run
and no gasoline
Engine won't turn
And the train won't leave
Engines won't turn
And the train won't leave
I will stay with you tonight
Hold you close
'til the morning light
In the morning watch
a new day rise
We'll do whatever
just to stay alive
We'll do whatever
just to stay alive
Well, the way I feel is
the way I write
Racin' like the thoughts
of the man who lies
There is a truth and
it's on our side
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Look into the sun
as the new days rise
And I will wait
for you tonight
You're here forever
and you're by my side
I've been waiting all my life
To feel your heart
as it's keeping time
We'll do whatever
just to stay alive
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Dawn is coming
Open your eyes
Look into the sun
as the new days rise
There's a rhythm
in rush these days
Where the lines don't move
and the colors don't fade
Leaves you empty
with nothing but dreams
In a world gone shallow
In a world gone lean
But there is a truth
and it's on our side
Dawn is coming, open your eyes
Look into the sun
as a new days rise
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Dark as night,
let the lightning guide you
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Living life
Feeding appetites
Stake through every heart
stop in the mood
Being glad
Breathing half the time
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Dark as night,
let the lightning guide you
Step outside,
I'm gonna step outside
Broke to Monday
Something's not the same
Blank head
Cross tiles sweep the floor
Feel your presence
in your absence
Shut the door
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
Dark as night,
let the lightning guide you
Must believe in
Step outside
Take a step outside
Take a step outside
Must believe in
Step outside
Take a step outside
Take a step outside
Heart's on fire,
leave it all behind you
You know I love my lady
We've been together so long
Like a worn-out recording
Of my favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin'
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns,
There was this letter
that read
If you like pia coladas
Or getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you like making love
at midnight
In the dunes of the cape
Then you're the lady
that I look for
Come with me and escape