The Show-Off (1934) Movie Script
Go on .. dare me.
Dare me.
Dare me to walk this rail right here.
Alright, I dare you.
You double-dare me?
I double, triple, skiffle dare you!
What is this, the best two out of three?
Okay .. okay.
Watch.
No Jim, no Jim.
Why do people always have to
make such fools of themselves?
Well, they're having fun.
Besides, they're not hurting anyone.
You know, it's getting so it's no fun
to go out on these boats anymore.
I love it .. it's so peaceful.
It can't be much fun for you, Amy.
A girl isn't meant to go on a trip like
this with her sister and brother-in-law.
You ought to have a nice ..
- Look!
I'll walk up and down.
And then maybe later.
I'll dance.
You fool, you'll fall overboard. Now ..
Don't go near him! If you do he'll start
talking. Then he will fall overboard.
Jimmy, come down!
Oh, leave me alone.
You never want me to have any fun.
Jimmy!
- Jim!
Jimmy.
Jimmy, get down. Get down!
Jimmy!
Jimmy, get down here.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Be calm! Be calm everybody.
This takes a cool head.
Be calm now, be calm.
Look, look. That young
man is going in after him.
He'll get him alright, whoever he is.
Keep cool.
Keep cool.
Come here.
Come on .. hup .. hup ..
Don't pull me.
I got it.
Here, let me put this around you.
That was great.
Feeling alright?
Wait a minute.
Let's hear what he has to say.
Isn't he wonderful?
- How should I know?
Old man, it was a great
rescue job you pulled off.
Elemental, elemental. Just a matter
of keeping a cool head, that's all.
Weissmuller couldn't have done better.
Come now, when you speak of Weissmuller
you're speaking of a great swimmer.
I'm sure if you had to name the
two best swimmers in America ..
You'd have to include Weissmuller.
You'll bear me out, won't you Miss?
Oh I .. I think it was
marvellous what you did.
No .. no. Just in a day's work really.
You know, I have discovered in
this life you have to help those ..
Who are unable to help themselves.
But thank you very much just the same.
- You're welcome.
Did anyone see the
man fall off the rail?
I did.
- Yes.
Just a minute, I'll have to take
your names as witnesses, please.
Yours, Miss?
- Amy Fisher.
Address?
The Fisher Realty Company.
Douglas Mann in New York.
Newark. Thank you.
And yours, please?
- Frank Hollings. 2033 Mutual Building.
I beg your pardon, could I have a light?
Certainly.
- Thank you.
Interesting little gadget, this.
Isn't it.
- Uhuh.
I think I'll put these lighters
in all of our dining cars.
You know, kind of an individual service.
Yes, it's getting pretty difficult these
days to beat the bus competition.
To say nothing of the aeroplanes.
Believe me, they are not going to
lick the Mid-Atlantic without a fight.
I was saying to J.B. only yesterday.
- J.B.?
You mean J.B. Preston, the President?
Uhuh, the J. B. Preston the President.
Do you know Mr Preston?
I beg your pardon?
I say, do you know Mr Preston?
Do I know him?
Why, he doesn't make a move without me.
Mind you, J.B. is a pretty smart
old codger as far as that goes.
There's a lot of things on that
railroad in the last few years ..
That J. Aubrey Piper could take
a bow for If he really wanted to.
But yours-truly doesn't want to.
J. B. may be only a figurehead,
but he's a good figurehead.
You have to hurry John, if you
want to make that telephone call.
Hurry! And what does it get you?
Don't you see my dear lady,
that's the trouble with life.
You don't take any time to have
any real pleasure, to really relax.
That's true, Mr Piper. I wonder if
I might have my lighter back.
I gave it to you.
Oh, I beg your pardon. Here.
Thank you Mister ..
"Piper" you said it was?
"Piper" I said it was and "Piper" it is.
Goodnight, old man.
Goodnight, sir.
How dare you tell my
brother all that nonsense!
Well.
I didn't know he was your brother.
Why didn't he tell me
he was your brother?
Hmm.
So, you are the power
behind the throne, eh?
Aha.
And I'm a figurehead, huh?
Well, I didn't exactly say
that Mr Preston. I just said ..
I know what you said! Every word of it.
I don't know why I
don't fire you right now.
Your office manager tells me that you
are the most demoralizing influence ..
He has ever encountered.
How much do we pay you?
I'm awfully glad you brought that up,
Mr Preston. You pay me $32.50 a week.
And I'll leave it to you
whether a man of my ..
You are about the nerviest proposition
that I have ever come in contact with.
If I did my duty I would
fire you right now.
As it is, I'll be lenient.
Go on back to your work.
- Yes, sir.
Now, Mr Preston.
Don't you think ..
- Be quiet.
Nothing.
A fine way to encourage
individuality I must say.
Going down.
Fourteen.
Believe me, the working men in this
country will stand for so much. No more.
Look at the French Revolution.
Look at ancient Rome. Look at ..
- 14th floor.
Oh Piper .. come here.
Did you see Mr Preston?
Yes I saw him, and believe
me I told him a thing or two.
Don't be surprised if there's a
shake-up around here before long.
Well, before that shake-up happens.
Suppose you see if you can get out that
statement to the National Warehouse.
Try to get it within ten
thousand dollars of right.
If you can.
There's never any complaint
against my work.
There'd be complaints against your work,
if there was work to complain against!
None of you fellows
ever give me a chance.
I'm giving you your chance right now.
Sit down and go to work.
How do you do.
Am I addressing the
Fisher Realty Company?
Well, not exactly.
This is my father's business.
But I'm taking care
of the place right now.
He's out with some clients.
Sunday is a very busy day you know.
Yes it is.
Your face is very familiar to me.
And it certainly is too lovely a face to
forget. Haven't I met you somewhere?
Well, the .. the boat.
- The boat?
The excursion boat that night ..
Oh. Oh .. that.
Well, that was nothing.
Oh, it was wonderful.
You were marvellous, what you did.
Oh, that was nothing at all. After all,
somebody had to save the poor fellow.
I .. I was just thinking.
I don't even know your name.
I did hear them say "Weissmuller"
but you are not?
No, no. My name is "Piper",
"J. Aubrey Piper."
Piper? Well, my name is Amy. Amy Fisher.
Amy? That's a pretty name, isn't it.
A very pretty name
for a very pretty girl.
Well.
Is there something I can do for you?
Yes, yes. I'm considering the
purchase of a residence.
And I thought I'd like
to look over your list.
Well, we have some wonderful new
bungalows that have just come in.
Bungalows? Well I'm sorry. I'm
afraid I'm past the bungalow stage.
Well.
Well, now there is the Fleming place.
That's quite large, you might like that.
The Fleming place?
Who knows, I might like it.
Father took the car, so
if you don't mind I'll just ..
No, no .. my car is
right outside the door.
Now, if you show me where the places are
we'll go and look at them. Can we go?
Yes, sure. I'll leave a note for father.
That's the spirit.
Always leave a note for father.
You know, land is really the
only investment these days.
That's what my father always says.
I can see that your father and I
are going to get along great.
I certainly hope so.
I'm sorry we couldn't find anything.
If you could come in for a
minute, I'm sure father is home.
Nothing I'd like.
But the fact is I have a very important
business engagement downtown.
I'm awfully sorry. Thanks just the same.
Hello Joe.
- Hello Amy.
Joe, I want you to meet Mr Piper.
This is my brother Joe - Aubrey.
- How do you do.
Mister uh ..
- Piper. J. Aubrey Piper.
Your sister has kindly conducted
me around the neighboring mansions.
You are a realtor too, I take it?
- Oh no, Joe works for the city.
But he's working on an invention.
- An invention?
Well, well, I used to be a bit
of an inventor myself. Yeah.
Inventing inventions.
There is nothing like it, is there.
Especially for the inventor.
Yes, I guess that is right.
Well, I am glad to have met you.
- Thank you.
So long Amy.
- So long.
Sure you won't come in for a cup of tea?
Honestly, there is nothing I'd
like more, but business is business.
I'm sorry. Thank you very
much for showing me around.
Oh, I was glad to.
You will surely come back on Sunday?
You have the word of a Piper,
and a Piper never forgets.
Toodle-oo.
Hello mother.
- Oh, it's you. Hello.
Did Pop get the note I left?
- Yes. What was it, a rental?
No, he's an important man. A railroad
official. He wants to buy a house.
Something like the Fleming
place only bigger.
I didn't know they came any
bigger than the Fleming place.
Did you show it to him?
- Yes.
He has the loveliest smile.
Did he like it?
No, not exactly.
We went in his car and he's got the
nicest car I've ever ridden in. Big.
Well, what about the
Hollingsworth place?
Well, I showed it to him but I didn't
have a key so we couldn't get in.
Oh, we had more fun.
We tried to get in via the kitchen
window and couldn't open it.
So then we went around ..
- Oh, I see.
Who is this miracle-man?
His name is "Piper". J. Aubrey Piper.
He's coming out again next Sunday.
I uh ..
I'm going to get a list of new
houses for him to look at.
I think your new green dress will be
nice to show the houses in, don't you?
Oh, he's so nice, mother.
I hope so .. if you like him.
But you mustn't judge
on seeing him once.
Oh, you'd know what I mean
if you'd seen him once.
Besides, I've seen him before.
- Where?
Do you remember the excursion boat
that night I was with Frank and Clara?
I told you about the man who jumped in
to save the other man who was drowning?
Well, he's the man.
- The one that got drowned?
No. The other man.
It was the other one that
got drowned, was it?
No mother, he ..
Oh well. Anyway, he's coming out again.
I'm going to ask him to
come in when he does.
Oh, I don't suppose he ever will.
I guess I'm just being silly.
He's much too important for us.
[ Car horn ]
Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.
We're busy getting ready for
the Auto Show tomorrow.
Any message for the chief, sir?
Well, it's a nice little job.
But I'm afraid you'll have to
tell him my girl doesn't like it.
Mr Roberts would be glad to demonstrate
it for you again any time you say, sir.
Thank you very much. That's very nice
of you. I will keep it in mind. Thanks.
You mean Piper is still coming here?
Sunday nights too, as
well as Wednesdays.
It's like a steady thing.
Too steady for my taste, if you ask me.
Clara, you have never in your
life heard anybody talk so much.
The "Human Radio".
That's what your Pa calls him.
Well, maybe Amy doesn't look
at him through Pop's eyes.
She doesn't know anything about him
except he works for the Mid-Atlantic.
Him and his carnations.
I believe in my heart Clara,
that's what's turned her head.
You often see things like that you know.
Any fool in the land can put a carnation
in his coat, or his hat over one eye.
And half a dozen sensible
women will be dying about him.
I'll be that's him now.
They'll see you Ma.
No they won't .. that's him.
That's the third new car he's
had in the last six weeks.
How do you suppose he keeps
a car like that on his salary, Ma?
Demonstrations.
That's how he keeps a
car like that on his salary.
He never has the same one more
than three of four times in a row.
If they demonstrated suits and hats,
he'd be the best-dressed man in America.
Your mother's home, Amy.
I saw here in the window.
Yes, I saw her too.
I can feel my headache
coming on already.
Why don't you go to bed, Ma?
- What's the use?
He's got a voice you can
hear in the next town.
I'll be right down, Aubrey.
Aubrey.
Try not to get into any
arguments with mother. Please.
Count on me, Amy.
The soft answer that turneth away wrath.
Hello mother, hello Clara. I'll be back
in a minute. Go right in Aubrey.
Are the folk's home? Well, well.
Hello Clara. Hello Mrs Fisher.
Good evening.
"Good evening" you call it Mrs Fisher,
and good evening it is.
How's the little mother tonight?
I don't see Popsy. How is he?
In fact, where is Popsy?
Mister Fisher has gone out.
If you don't mind.
No, I don't mind at all.
As a matter of fact, I'm glad to
see Popsy knows how to live.
A man has to go out now and then. Can't
hang around the same dull surroundings.
People who live in glasshouses shouldn't
talk about dull old surroundings.
You mean me, huh?
I get it Mrs Fisher, I get it.
Hello Aubrey.
Hello there, Joesy.
Well, how's the old inventing?
Everything getting invented alright?
Everything is alright.
- Good.
Don't you go staying down in that
cold cellar again tonight, Joe.
No. I won't, Ma.
Now you be careful Joe, you be careful.
You can catch cold down there.
Great kid, Joe. Great kid.
Gee, I almost forgot this.
There you are, Mrs Fisher.
Sweets for the sweet.
For me?
- For you alone.
I picked it out myself too. Chocolate
bonbons, marshmallows and glacs.
Thanks.
- You are welcome.
To say that you're welcome, nay thrice
welcome, would be putting it mildly.
Infinitely more blessed is he
who gives than he who receives.
To bring a little happiness
into a neighbor's heart.
To bring a smile where
perhaps a tear has been.
That is the only true pleasure.
Well don't you worry about me.
There's no tears around here.
Oh, that's just a figure
of speech, Mrs Fisher.
Come on, wherever English is spoken.
You'll bear me out, won't you, Clara?
Well, I wasn't long, was I Aubrey?
How come you're not home tonight, Clara?
- Frank had some business in town.
I came out see Ma.
The old daughterly spirit
Ah, touching, I call it.
When we want to know what
you call it, we'll ask you.
Come on, Aubrey. I want to show you
that book I was talking to you about.
And by the way, mister Piper.
Try and remember that our library
is not just one large ashtray.
Ha! "Not just one large ashtray".
Score one for Mumsy.
Glad I saw you, Clara.
- Thank you.
Now don't run away, Mumsy. I'll pop back
shortly and we'll have a little chat.
Don't you bother about "popping".
I'm alright as I am.
He called you "Clara".
I don't think he's seen you
twice in his life, has he?
Oh, just twice.
But what does that matter?
I'm sure he means well.
You know it's a terrible thing
Amy when people grow old.
Hard to believe they were once young ..
And somebody, no matter how foolish
he was, thought they were beautiful.
I'll give you three guesses who
that clown thinks he's talking about.
That's your Pa, I guess.
Is that you, Pa?
- Yeah, Ma.
Hello Pop.
- Hello. - Hello.
I guess I'll be going now you're back.
- Where's Frank?
He had to have dinner downtown with
some men, but he'll be home by now.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
Live, laugh and be merry, Amy. There's
more ways than one to skin a cat.
Who's that? Windy?
Who do you think it is?
There isn't but one voice like that in
the whole world. You know that.
Yeah, I know.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
Wouldn't it kill you as he dies laughing
when he gets off one of his bum jokes.
Somebody's got to laugh.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
Ah, that's the time I got you, Amy.
Leave it to me to put it over the plate.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
He's got Amy laughing now, too.
That radiator in our room is out of
order again, Pop. I must get it fixed.
Get it fixed.
Goodnight Pop.
- Goodnight.
Goodnight, Ma. - Goodnight, dear.
- See you tomorrow.
Goodnight Aubrey, goodnight Amy.
- Goodnight.
I'll just let it run for a minute
and then it will be alright.
What's the matter?
Nothing. Aubrey just
wants a drink of water.
I'd like to fix a drink
for him sometime.
Hello Popsy-Wopsy! How are you Pop?
Now stay where you
are folks. Don't move.
Just a little social attention. I'm
going right out again on the next train.
There you are Mumsy-Wumsy.
Every woman's fancy, huh?
Right down to the little old carnation.
Ma.
- Yes?
I have to have a double socket. I have
to keep two lights burning at once.
We've got one, haven't we?
Yes, there's one over in the
corner behind the settee.
Thanks.
- Joe.
Why don't you stop for the night?
You ought to get a rest now and then.
I'm not tired Ma.
Now Joesy-boy, your dear Mama is right.
What do you know about it?
Joe, when you hear her speak you get
words of wisdom direct from the well.
Let me tell you Mr Joesy-boy, you are
wasting your time. When you're done ..
They'll offer twenty cents for it and
sell it for twenty million dollars.
I know.
Because that's exactly what
they did to little old yours-truly.
For a formula that solved the greatest
problem in the industrial world today.
A formula to prevent the
rusting of iron and steel.
A solution to be added to
the metal in its molten state ..
Instead of applied externally
as they have been doing.
What did you say, Aubrey?
I said ..
A simple combination of chemical
elements to be added ..
To the metal in its molten state
instead of applied externally ..
As they have been doing.
Did you get what you want, Joe?
Oh yeah, thanks.
Yes sir, you'll thank me for
that advice someday, Joe.
I've been through the mill. I know.
Yeah, sure.
Oh Amy. Oh Amy!
Third down and forty yards to go.
Come on, time out for water.
You got a customer waiting here.
Gosh, a fellow must have a drink once in
a while, ain't he Popsy-Wopsy old boy?
Let me alone, you!
Keep your hands to yourself.
You're the worst pest
I ever saw in my life.
Sign on the dotted line. No point in old
Pop getting sore and walking out on us.
What do you know about that?
There she is herself,
not a moving picture.
Blushing as she gave it looking down.
At her feet so bare in
her tattered gown.
What's wrong with her feet?
And when it comes to slaughter
you will do your work on water.
You're a better man
than I am, Gunga Din!
Well here's to laughter, ladies.
Here's to laughter.
Very nice .. very nice indeed.
And a sweeter draught was
never quaffed from a fairer hand.
Oh, Aubrey.
I'm going to change all that someday
Mrs Fisher. Simplify the whole thing.
A woman does all the drudgery. And why?
Why should the fairer sex work their
fingers to the bone? Why, I ask you?
You can't answer, can you. You know
why? Because there is no answer.
Just negligence.
Amy look .. I was just
telling your mother ..
I want to tell you what I told her.
Say Amy .. how uh ..
How do you think your
mother's going to take it?
Well I .. I don't know.
You see.
- I know.
She's .. she's not as fond of
me as she might be, is she.
It's not that she doesn't
approve of you Aubrey, but ..
It's because I'm not serious enough.
I know .. I joke too much
to suit a lot of people.
Sometimes, I just try to kid them
you know, and they think I mean it.
You think I'm on the
level don't you, Amy?
Aubrey.
I know .. sometimes
I just say things in fun.
And I don't, you know ..
I mean, maybe I say things that ..
Well, aren't exactly true, but ..
But I want to tell you one
thing that is true, Amy.
And I want you to know it's true.
I love you, and you are the
only girl in the world for me.
Oh .. well, what's the matter mother?
It's 12 o'clock.
That's what's the matter.
12 o'clock is late enough for
decent people to go to bed.
Why mother, don't you know that
Thomas Edison never retired until 4am?
You invent electric light and you
can stay up all night for all I care.
Your Pa can't sleep.
- It's alright, it's alright.
I was just about to take my
reluctant leave anyway.
I'll see you to the door, Aubrey.
That's fine. Always
free the parting guest.
Goodnight mother Fisher.
- Goodnight.
Like the candy?
I didn't eat any of it.
Maybe you didn't eat any of it,
but you sure practised.
Oh Amy, I didn't know how hard
it was going to be to lose you.
We're going to miss you, Amy.
- Oh come now, Mumsy-Mumsy.
After all, you're not going to lose a
daughter, you are just gaining a son.
How about that Popsy-Wopsy? Am I
on the nose or just in the money?
It'll be alright mother,
we're living in town.
You see us all the time, Aubrey and I.
Come on Amy, we got
to hurry up. Come on.
Come on, come on. Get moving.
Drive fast or we'll miss the boat.
- What boat?
Oh, secret of state. Can't tell you.
A man can't have his mother-in-law
along on a honeymoon.
Don't you worry about me going
along on your honeymoon.
Take care, Aubrey.
- Yeah, I will.
Goodbye, Amy.
And if it's raining where you go
don't forget to wear your rubbers.
Au revoir, farewell, so long,
auf wiedersehen, arrivederci!
Goodbye, all you good people!
Goodbye .. goodbye ..
Will we miss him?
It's going to seem like we
suddenly all want deaf.
Do you know where they're going, Ma?
- No, I don't.
Hey, look.
Here's some travel folders.
Aubrey must have dropped them
from his pocket. - Let me see it.
"Taj Mahal by the moonlight."
Don't sound decent to me.
Oh, here's another one.
- "On the beach at Waikiki."
"Underneath the Southern Cross."
Going abroad. Hmm.
Well, you've certainly got
to hand it to Aubrey.
He's no Piker.
Big crowd on the boat?
- Packed.
That's fine. Fine.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Here, I'll take the pot.
Here we are.
- Yeah.
Mrs Piper, what day is today?
- An anniversary.
Correct, Mrs Piper.
What kind of an anniversary?
- A wedding anniversary.
And whose wedding
anniversary, Mrs Piper?
Ours, Aubrey.
Ours, Mr Piper. Yours and mine.
Correct again, Mrs Piper.
Why, you'll be teaching the class
yourself before the term is over.
Now, just one more little question.
What wedding anniversary?
The six month, four days and eleven
hours wedding anniversary.
And four minutes.
But I won't hold that against you.
And so Professor Smithers, on
behalf of the graduating class.
We, the pupils of Central High School ..
Are very happy to present you
with this tiny token of our esteem.
Oh Aubrey .. it's cute.
Yeah.
I picked it out myself.
Oh, this is what you said you were going
out to get cigarettes for last night?
I got the cigarettes, too.
The shelf is getting pretty crowded.
Well, we'll have to get another shelf.
Cute, isn't it? Huh?
Uhuh.
Yeah, I tried to get you a cat with ..
You know, that meows when you pull
its tail? But they were out of them.
Ah, that's the trouble with
the American retailer today.
He doesn't know how to buy.
All stocked up with a lot of
stuff that people don't want.
Scared to death to really buy the things
he could make a lot of dough on.
No vision.
Hello Clara. - Hello Ma.
- Hello, Frank.
You're late Clara.
- I'm sorry, Ma.
Hmm.
Oh, that's a nice coat you're
wearing. New, isn't it?
Uhuh.
Your supper's getting cold
and Pa is nearly starved.
Frank couldn't get away
from his office until late.
I don't hold with a man making
himself a slave to his office.
There is no reason why a body shouldn't
be ready to have supper at six o'clock.
Hello Pa.
Hello Clare. Hello Frank.
- Hello Pa.
What are you reading?
- Just this.
I'll take your hat and coat, Frank.
Oh no. Frank has got to run along.
He has an important meeting.
It seems to me Frank has always
got an important meeting.
Well he has to see some men.
This is really important.
It's a funny thing the way a married
man, just as soon as it gets dark ..
Has to see some man and
go to some lodge meeting.
Oh, I guess I'm not as bad as all that.
I'd like you to cook for 9 people and
then have only 4 of them stay to eat.
What's the matter?
Where's Aubrey and Amy?
I'll tell you where is Aubrey
and Amy. At the Opera.
Listening to some foreigners
holler. That's where they are.
That's right. I leant
Amy my ermine coat.
Called up, big as life,
Amy did, at five o'clock.
Said "Aubrey's got two tickets to the
Opera, so we're going to the Opera."
The opera!
I never heard of anybody I knew ever
going to the Opera. Did you Clara?
Why yes .. Frank and I go sometimes.
Well, that's different.
Frank can afford to buy the tickets. But
where that Aubrey ever got the money ..
No, Ma. Well, I really
must be getting along.
You want me to pick you up
after the meeting? - No thanks.
I think I'll be going home early and
Joe or Pa will take me with the car.
Alright. Goodnight Pa.
Goodnight Ma. - Goodnight Frank.
- Goodnight Clara. - Goodnight.
I must get the supper on the
table. Come and help me, Clara.
What do you think of that clown Piper?
The Opera!
And him in debt up to his eyes.
Ma, you oughtn't always to be
picking on Aubrey like that.
I don't care about Aubrey. It's Amy.
She's married to him.
That's the trouble.
Amy doesn't mind it Ma,
as long as it's Aubrey.
She's in love with him.
You are always talking about
love. You give me a pain.
Don't you see she's in love with him?
- How do I know whether she is or not?
I don't know anything about people when
they're in love, except they act silly.
Most everybody I ever knew acted silly.
I'm sure she acted silly
when she took him.
She might have taken worse, Ma.
He does his best.
He works every day and
he gives her his money.
And nobody ever heard of him
looking at another woman.
But he's such a rattle-brain, Clara.
There are lots of things more difficult
in a man to put up with than that, Ma.
But you can put up with anything.
If he loves you.
I never saw a married
woman so full of love.
And that's because I ..
I never knew of a butcher or grocer who
takes love for spinach or lamb chops.
No Opera tickets either.
The idea of that brass band.
The Opera!
Look, it's turning over.
Amy, it's turning over.
Is that marvellous?
I sure can't believe it.
It plays twelve records
without stopping.
If you want to play the same record
over again, just press the button.
You see?
[ Opera music ]
Remember that Amy?
Remember that from the Second Act?
Turn that thing off, Aubrey.
Turn it off? No, there's Bing
Crosby on the other side.
Turn it off.
I want to talk to you.
Shoot.
While I was shopping this afternoon,
I had to get some kitchen pots and pans.
At Charles Brown & Sons,
they wouldn't let me have them.
Because we haven't paid for that bridge
table and lamp we bought 3 months ago.
Oh gosh, that's right. I forgot.
Oh gee, I got to take care of that.
I thought you told me you won them in
a raffle the boys in the office got up.
Yeah I did, didn't I.
Well, you told me you wanted a
bridge table and a bridge lamp.
I knew you'd not let me buy
it as we didn't have any cash.
So I told you I won it in a raffle.
It was a good idea too, wasn't it?
Gee, it brightens up the room.
You look awful pretty there,
with your book and everything.
But Aubrey, it wasn't right.
I didn't want a bridge table
and bridge lamp so badly ..
That I couldn't wait until
we could afford them.
Oh Amy. The whole thing
don't amount to twenty bucks.
Twenty bucks.
You don't seem to realize that twenty
bucks is two thirds of your salary.
Well .. I'm doing the best I can.
I can't help if I don't earn any more.
Oh, I know Aubrey.
But you don't seem to realize that ..
Do you want me to answer?
- No, I'll go.
Hello .. yes.
This is Mrs Piper.
The Victrolla?
It's very nice.
I'm sure there must be some mistake.
Well, if Mr Piper said that,
he wasn't in earnest.
Yes Mr Jenkins, I understand all
that but it is absolutely impossible.
Please send for it first
thing in the morning.
No, there is not a chance in the world.
Look. Look here.
"First, Satan galloped into the mists in
black harness on a milk-white steed."
"Death rode slowly behind on a .."
- Say!
I thought you said
it was an old model ..
That Jenkins was selling next week.
And that he didn't have room
for it in his store until then.
Well you see, I thought ..
And you said you'd pay him $100
tomorrow morning as a deposit.
No, no. I didn't promise him that.
No, no. I just said, if you liked it.
That is, I thought that ..
If we liked it, see.
I thought that maybe we could ..
Maybe we could what?
You know we haven't a hundred dollars.
Why, we haven't got a hundred cents!
It's not my fault if we haven't got any
money. I turn over every cent I make.
Oh, I know that Aubrey.
I'm not picking on you, darling.
But ..
Well ..
Don't you see?
Amy.
Oh, Amy.
Oh Aubrey.
If I could only make you see what a
crime we're committing living this way.
Spending money we haven't got.
Every week we're getting
deeper and deeper in debt.
Well it's not always
going to be like that.
Now you wait and see.
Just you wait and see.
My turn will come. You just
let me get one break.
Oh, I know you're going
to make good, Aubrey.
But why can't we wait until our turn
comes, until you get your break.
Then we ..
[ Buzzer ]
I wonder who that could be.
Maybe it's Clara. She said she may drop
over tonight if Frank didn't come home.
Oh gosh, I hope it is Clara.
You know, we don't see enough of Clara.
Good old Clara.
Mr Piper?
- I'm Mr Piper.
J. Aubrey Piper?
You said it. "J. Aubrey Piper".
Here, sir.
Thank you.
What is it Aubrey?
I don't know.
What is it?
Nothing at all. Just a little circular.
Let me see.
- No, it's nothing. It's just a ..
Why Aubrey, they're
attaching your salary.
Why they can't attach my salary. I'm a
married man. They can only attach half.
Only half?
What is it, Aubrey? You must
have known this was coming.
They don't attach your salary until they
have tried all ways to get their money.
It's just for a couple
of little things I bought.
Maybe I said I paid less for
them than I really did, but ..
Then of course, I had the florist's bill
for all the flowers when we got married.
So, you didn't want to worry me.
Aubrey, you listen to me.
- Ah, a speech.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me
pleasure to introduce the little lady ..
Aubrey, that will do.
You didn't want to worry me. Now we've
got to get by on half your salary for ..
For how long, Aubrey?
It's just a couple of hundred bucks.
That's about four months, roughly.
And we're head-over-heels
in debt as it is.
This can't go on, Aubrey.
Oh Listen Amy, it won't be for long.
I'll strike something big in no time.
Yes, and in the meantime
we have to live on your salary.
It's only half of what
we thought it was.
Well, the first thing we've got to
do, is to give up this apartment.
Well now, that is alright with me.
As a matter of fact, I've felt for a
long time that the place is too small.
There's scarcely room to ..
We'll move to mother's house
until we get straightened out.
We'll move over to mother's?
Oh Amy, you're joking.
I'm not joking.
I'll talk it with mother first thing
in the morning and fix it up with her.
We can have my old room.
You're not going to get me
to move into that dump.
I'm moving into that dump
tomorrow, Aubrey.
And I'm staying there until we've
got solid ground beneath us again.
And the first thing I'll do
is get my old job back.
Amy, what are you talking about?
I'm not going to have my
wife working for a living.
Gosh.
Well, I guess I can take
care of my family.
Of course you can, darling.
But.
Well, now you need a little
help. And I'm going to help.
I won't do it.
I don't want to go to mother's
tomorrow alone, Aubrey.
But I will if I have to.
There is no power in the world that can
make me spend money that I haven't got.
And you haven't got. It is dishonest.
If you want to keep on fooling yourself.
If you don't care people think you're
a show-off with nothing to back it up.
I do care.
And I'm through living that way.
Oh, Aubrey.
Amy.
Amy, can I come in?
Amy.
Amy, don't cry. Please don't, darling.
Please.
Oh Aubrey.
It was terrible of me
talking to you like that.
You know that? You see
that. Don't you darling?
Sure I do, darling. I'll do
anything you say, honest I will.
And Aubrey, you'll see .. honest.
It won't be so hard. It won't take so
long for us to get straightened out.
And then when we do, we'll be able
to live on what you make and ..
Then what?
Well.
You try to remember.
You don't earn .. so very much, and ..
And you're not .
Yeah .. yeah, I know.
I'm not the President of the
railroad. Is that what you mean?
And I'm not the big-shot that I try to
make people think I am. Is that it?
Oh, you are a big-shot.
Not yet, of course. But ..
- Listen, Amy. Listen.
I didn't give in at first because
I was ashamed to, see. But ..
Well.
I don't want you to think I don't
know you're right, because I do.
Honest I do.
But it's all going to be different.
- Is it really, Aubrey?
You can bet your life it is.
Yes sir. I'm going to get down to work.
No more going to the office late. Now,
quarter of eight for me every morning.
And I'll quit watching the clock too.
To find out what time I can leave.
I'll make them promote me. And
I'll quit talking big until I am big.
Yes sir.
You're going to be proud of me, Amy.
Oh I'm so proud of you now, Aubrey.
So, we're not going to start
next week or next month.
We're going to start right now.
What was that for?
- Well ..
I suppose you think electric
light don't cost money, huh?
Oh Aubrey!
Morning Mr Edwards.
- What time you got, Perry?
A quarter of eight.
- Thank you.
Good morning, Piper.
- Good morning.
You may be right, Amy.
It's got me so I don't know
where I'm at, at all. Only ..
You'll see, mother. You won't know
Aubrey. Oh, you're going to love him.
The proof of the pudding, Amy.
You're going to be the proudest mother
and mother-in-law in this town.
I hope so.
If it turns out the way you
say Amy, it will be fine.
So, when he comes home tonight.
You'll try to be nice to him, won't you?
I promise from my heart, Amy.
Your Pa and I will do everything we
can to make the two of you happy.
But if he ..
Now, there is going to
be no more "But if he's .."
Aren't you going to lunch, Piper?
No Mr Edwards, it's a waste of time.
Most people eat too much, anyway.
Oh Piper.
- Yes, sir?
Come here.
You'd better take those Barnabas
papers up to The President's office.
Barnabas is coming in this
afternoon to sign the contract.
All drawn up and checked.
Ready to sign on the dotted line.
Everything is in order, Mr Edwards.
- That's fine.
Say, Piper.
I always believed that you
had the right stuff in you.
I'm glad to see you made up
your mind to take advantage of it.
I like your spirit .. keep it up.
Thanks.
18th floor.
- Yes, sir.
A team that won't be
beaten can't be beaten.
If you've the right stuff in you
boy, it's bound to come out.
18th Floor.
I beg your pardon.
- Yes?
I'm looking for The President's office.
- Mr Preston? Fine. I go there myself.
Oh, do you have an
appointment with Mr Preston?
I sure have, but I don't know that
he's going to be so glad to see me.
I don't know that I want
to do business his way.
Come now, come. After all, when you say
his way you mean the Mid-Atlantic way.
There's nothing wrong with the
Mid-Atlantic way to do business.
There hasn't been for 60 years.
- I don't mean ..
When you cast a slur on Mid-Atlantic you
cast a slur on Mr Preston personally.
And 18,000 loyal employees.
- Say, I ..
Now come, let's talk this
thing over man-to-man.
We can step right in here.
I'm sure I can show you that ..
You made some little mistake that
colored your whole viewpoint.
My name is Piper. J. Aubrey Piper.
I'm sure I can straighten out
your difficulty with the railroad.
Now maybe you can. My name is
Barnabas. Andrew Barnabas.
Oh, Barnabas? Mr Barnabas?
I know all about you, Mr Barnabas.
It's about that land?
- The land .. yes, it sure is.
Now, there's the
situation in a nutshell.
You feel that the railroad should buy
1,000 acres instead of the 100 it wants.
And you feel that the 900 acres will be
valueless when the 100 acres are gone.
But on the other hand, you must
realize the railroad's position.
You see, all we really want is
the 100 acres. Right?
Right.
Now, I'll make a little suggestion.
He came into the building alright
and spoke to one of the starters.
I found the elevator man who carried him
up. He started for this office alright.
Well, where is he?
You'll never regret it, Mr Barnabas.
I beg your pardon. Are you Mr Barnabas?
- That's right.
Well Mr Preston is waiting for you.
We wondered what became of you.
I guess Mr Preston will be glad of the
delay when I tell him what it was about.
Eh, Mr Piper?
Well goodbye Mr Barnabas.
I'll see you again sometime.
Why .. aren't you going to ..?
- No, no. I have other things to do.
I only came up to bring the contracts
to Mr Preston for you to sign.
Will you see he gets these?
Goodbye again, Mr Barnabas.
- Goodbye Mr Piper. Goodbye sir.
Alright. Come on, come on. 14th floor.
14th floor.
Mr Edwards wants to see you.
- Oh thanks, son.
Piper.
The President's office just telephoned.
Mr Preston wants to see you right away.
You haven't got yourself
into a jam again, I hope.
No sir, no more jams
for J. Aubrey Piper.
Going up.
18th floor.
Let me tell you something young man.
There's a tide in the affairs of man ..
When taken at the flood,
leads on to fortune.
18th floor.
Why Mr Preston, it was nothing
at all. Nothing at all, really.
Well.
Mr Preston, anybody would have done
the same thing in my case. I mean ..
Almost anybody would
have done the same thing.
Mr Preston.
One for all and all for one.
That's my motto.
That's got it .. that's got it.
You can go right in, Mr Piper.
Ah ..
Do you know what you have done?
You have cost this railroad $30,000.
Mr Preston, I ..
How dare you butt into things
that are none of your business.
What right have you?
Oh, I thought you'd be pleased.
Oh.
You thought I would be pleased, huh?
We have to buy 900 acres of land that
is no good to anyone in the whole world.
And you thought we would be pleased?
Well, you get your hat and
coat and get out of here!
Mr Preston.
I hereby tender you my
resignation from this railroad.
To take effect at your
earliest convenience.
Mr Preston, I can see now this railroad
isn't big enough for the two of us.
You know, you're not the kind
of man I thought you were at all.
Know what I think you are, Mr Preston?
And I choose my words very carefully.
I think you are an old fogey.
What?
Come in here, Smith.
Now then .. you get out of here.
Yes sir, an old fogey.
And I repeat it in the presence of your
hireling: I think you're an old fogey.
You can't see beyond
the end of your nose.
Along comes a man like me
who tries to get you out of a rut.
And what do you do?
You denounce him, you scream
at him, you send for your bouncer.
Smith.
See that this man gets whatever
is coming to him .. and leaves!
I have had as much patience with this
situation as any man can expect to have.
I resign!
- You get out of here!
And Mr Preston, remember this.
I bear you no ill-will personally.
Really I don't.
You're nothing but a symbol.
Just a symbol, that's all.
The old order, changing.
That's the way of the world,
Mr Preston. The way of the world.
Good day to you, sir.
Think it over sir. When you've made a
mistake, don't be afraid to admit it.
Remember this: "To make errors is human,
but to forget about them is divine."
Good day, sir.
I'm sorry Piper, really I am.
You don't have to feel sorry for me.
Preston is the guy I'm sorry for.
There he stood before me, in all his
nakedness, just like a hollow shell.
There it is. I thought
I forgot my eraser.
I saw Jim Haggarty this morning. They're
looking for people down at his place.
You know, the insurance firm ..
"Hammogher and Haggarty"
at 162 7th Avenue.
If you beat it right down there, I think
you'll land something. - Thanks.
Have them mail my check will you.
- Alright.
What's the number again on 7th Avenue?
- Here, I'll write it down for you.
And I said to her right out, I said ..
"Amy, I want you to answer me one thing.
Can the leopard change his spots?"
And she said:
"Well, maybe not a leopard,
but I didn't know Aubrey".
Oh, give him a chance.
I'm going to give him a chance.
I promised Amy that we'd be nice
to him no matter what he said.
And he's sure to say something.
Now .. Ma.
Well, no matter what he says or does,
we've got to pretend not to notice it.
Good heavens, what happened to you?
Oh, hello, hello.
I see it's beginning to rain outside.
Never mind the rain.
The rain didn't do that to you.
Now please don't get
excited dear little mother.
It was just a mistake on
the part of a Traffic Officer.
Don't tell me a Traffic
Officer did that to you?
How are you tonight, Popsy?
Are you hurt?
- Uhuh. It's nothing.
You look like a bandit.
The very-est trifle I assure you. Just
a little scratch from the wind-shield.
What was it? Some car you borrowed?
Where is it?
Well, if you must know,
the Police have got it.
Then you got arrested too?
Well, I accompanied the officer
to the Station House, yes.
And believe me, I told them a few
things about the traffic in this city.
I guess they told you a
few things too, didn't they?
Pardon me?
- Never mind, you're welcome.
Oh .. the potatoes ..
Did they fine you, Aubrey?
Well, they complied with the usual
procedure in cases of this kind.
That is, they released the defendant ..
On bail, pending the outcome
of the victim's injuries.
Was there somebody injured?
Hmm.
Nobody but the Traffic
Cop who ran into me.
Traffic cop?
Couldn't you find anybody
but a Traffic Cop to run in to?
Was he much hurt?
Oh .. he was faking a
broken arm when I left.
Why, he ran into me right head-on.
Was he in a car, too?
No, he was jay-walking.
Jay-walking?
- Yeah.
Tried to beat me to the kerb after
giving me the right-of-way.
Believe me, I told him a thing or
two on the way to the hospital.
The hospital?
How much bail did they
put you under, Aubrey?
$1,000.
Who did you get to go
a $1,000 bail for you?
You know. Please, my dear
little mother, don't get excited.
I managed to keep the whole
affair right within the family.
What do you mean?
Your other son-in-law was
kind enough to come forward.
Frank?
How'd he happen to get into it?
- Well ..
He was fortunate enough to
witness the whole affair.
You see, Frank was just coming
from his business and ..
He happened to be on the
trolley-car that ran into me.
Aubrey.
Aubrey, what happened?
Well, well, well. The old kid herself.
What happened, Aubrey?
- Oh, my Amy.
What happened to your head?
Nothing, darling. Take it easy.
It's nothing at all.
Are you hurt?
- No, no, no.
Just a couple of scratches from
the wind shield. That's all.
Just a little shake-up.
He nearly killed a Traffic Officer
and he ran smack into a trolley-car.
That's how much of a
little shake-up it was.
Oh, you didn't Aubrey, did you?
Why of course not, Amy. You know
better than that. Your mother's raving.
The man's in the hospital.
That's how much I'm raving.
Is your head hurting, darling?-
No, darling. Honestly, it's just a
few little scratches. That's all.
Well, come on, let me bathe it for you.
- Oh Amy.
Come on Aubrey.
- Oh, now listen ..
Sit over there, Aubrey.
Where is it, Aubrey?
- It's right up here.
It's just a little scratch, now Amy.
Oh, Aubrey.
It's alright, for heaven's sake.
- It looks sore.
You fuss over a little thing like that.
Well, I'll just sponge
it off a little, Aubrey.
Where did you get the car, Aubrey?
It was one of those foreign cars. I was
going along minding my own business.
Aubrey, where did you get the car?
I had it out on a demonstration.
Oh Aubrey.
They won't do anything
to you, will they?
Ah. No, no. They might try
to take away my license.
You haven't got a license, have you?
No.
What time did all this happen?
It was around 4 o'clock.
4 o'clock?
Why weren't you at the office?
At the ..?
Oh. Well see, I meant to tell you Amy.
I resigned today.
You what?
Yeah, I quit. But believe
me, before I quit ..
Yes, I know. Before you quit, you told
them a couple of things, huh Aubrey?
Yes.
Amy.
Oh Amy.
You were fired, weren't you Aubrey.
Well, I guess maybe they were
displeased Amy. But I resigned.
Well what happened?
You talked yourself into
something, didn't you.
What was it?
I thought I was doing
something to help them, Amy.
Honest, I tried my best.
- It doesn't make any difference.
I'm not going on living
with you, Aubrey.
What?
I honestly believe maybe it's my fault.
Maybe if not for me, you could
make something of yourself.
Oh now Amy, how could anything like ..
Well, maybe not. I don't know.
All I do know is that we
can't go on this way.
If I live with you another day this way.
I'll lose all my respect for you.
You mean, you want to leave me?
I mean .. that I want
you to be a man, Aubrey.
And you're not.
And until you are I won't live with you.
Are you on the level with this?
I'm on the level, Aubrey.
Well, Amy I know. I can change, Amy.
I will change. I don't know
whatever made me do it.
But Amy I'll never ..
- It's too late Aubrey!
You've done something to me.
I don't know what it is.
But everything has changed.
You mean you don't love me?
- I don't know, Aubrey.
All I do know is, that feeling the
way I do feel about you now ..
I can't go on living with you.
Well, then it's all over, huh?
Uhuh.
You think maybe I'd better go .. now?
I think so, Aubrey.
Hello Amy.
Hello Aubrey.
Hello, Mrs Fisher.
I was just packing.
- Yes.
I came to get the rest
of my things, too.
I thought you were going
to stay here, Aubrey?
The rent is paid until
the end of the week.
Yeah, I thought so too. But ..
But I just can't stay here.
Come on, Amy.
Amy ..
Joe!
Hello Aubrey.
- Hello.
You are up early.
- Yeah, yeah.
How's everything at the house, Joe?
Alright I guess.
- Good.
How is Amy?
Fine.
How does she sleep?
Alright, I guess.
Did your mother remember about
the pillows? - What pillows?
She can't sleep unless
she's got two, you know.
How does she look?
- Fine.
Good.
Not pale or anything, huh?
No.
Did she eat her breakfast alright?
Yes.
Orange juice and oatmeal?
One egg in 3 minutes? Coffee?
Say Joe, was she wearing
her wedding ring?
To tell you the truth
Aubrey, I didn't notice.
She didn't say anything, did she Joe?
About anything? About me I mean.
She said she didn't want anybody
to talk about you and her.
Yeah, I guess she hates me, huh?
I wouldn't blame her if she did, but ..
I wish I could help Aubrey.
Say, if a little dough would help you ..
- No thanks, Joe.
What are you going to do, Aubrey?
- I'm going to try to get a job.
That's the spirit.
Well, here's my car .. good luck to you.
Thanks Joe, thanks.
Hold it .. that's enough.
That's all for today.
No more men will be taken
on until further notice.
Aubrey?
Oh, I thought it was you.
How have you been, Aubrey?
- Oh, alright, alright. How's Amy?
Everything okay, Joe?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know it's not very much
but, well I'm working anyway.
Oh, you'll get a break one
of these days, Aubrey.
Sure, sure. How's the invention, Joe?
Great. Say, I think I'm
going to put it over.
Look .. I got this yesterday.
It's from the biggest
firm of lawyers in town.
"Weitzenkorn, Kelly & Lebarsky."
They're offering me $5,000
outright for the whole works.
I'm going to see them about
it this afternoon at 2:30.
You mean, you'll take it?
- Of course I'm going to take it.
But Joe, you must be crazy.
$5,000 for an invention
that might be worth millions?
Why, they can't do that to you Joe ..
Easy Aubrey, easy ..
Yeah, you're right. There I go again.
Oh, but Joe, no kidding. You
shouldn't let them do that to you.
$5,000?
$5,000 is a lot of money, Aubrey.
If I get it, I can put in my time on a
lot of things that I've had on my mind.
You know Aubrey, if a little
money would tide you over ..
No. No thanks very much Joe.
No, I'll work this out some way myself.
Say, you can give me a cigarette though.
Oh, sure.
Oh, keep the pack, Aubrey.
So long.
- So long.
Very odd that Mr Fisher never mentioned
your name in any of our conversations.
He was acting under my instructions.
Never let the enemy know your strength.
I see. And so?
And so, Mr Weitzenkorn,
there it is. Take it or leave it.
Why you have been offering buttons for
the greatest invention of the century.
$5,000? Why you must be kidding.
It is nearly blasphemous to mention
$5,000 in connection with the invention.
Indeed?
It was our impression that $5,000
was a very liberal sum to pay ..
For an untried process
that may prove worthless.
Why should you worry if it has value
or not? I'll guarantee it has value.
That ought to be enough for anybody.
Now look here, I'm not the kind of a man
who is going to beat around the bush.
Unless you're prepared to pay Mr Fisher
$100,000 against 50% of the profits ..
We'll just have to consider
some of the other offers.
Let me get it right.
$100,000 against 50% of the net profit?
You got it right. $100,000 down
against 50% of the net profit.
Signed on the dotted line.
Mr Piper, I bid you good-day.
But I thought ..
Absolutely useless to prolong
this discussion any further.
You don't want to talk about it at all?
Exactly what I mean. Our interest
in Mr Fisher's invention is at an end.
And he has nobody to thank for
it but you. Good day, Mr Piper.
Good-day.
[ Doorbell ]
Amy.
- Yes, mother?
Answer the bell.
Alright.
Why Aubrey.
- Amy.
Come in.
Thanks.
What's happened to you, Aubrey?
- I'm alright.
Where is Joe?
- You don't look well.
Oh, I'm fine.
Where is Joe, Amy?
Joe?
Yeah, I got to see him about something.
Where is he? Do you know?
He's at work I guess.
He isn't. I called his office and he's
not there. Won't be back all afternoon.
Maybe he's gone to see
about his invention.
They're going to give him
$5,000 for it today you know.
Yeah, I know.
That was what it was about.
Amy, there is something
I've got to tell you.
Well come on in, Aubrey.
Sit down.
Ma .. ma!
Here I am. What's the matter?
- I've got something to tell you.
I wonder what is the matter with him.
Oh Amy, I'm the lowest thing in
the world. I'm even lower than that.
What is the matter, Aubrey?
Well.
You know that $5,000 they were
going to give Joe for the invention?
Yes.
Well, they won't give him the $5,000.
They are not going to give him anything.
And it's my fault.
What have you got to do with it?
Well.
Well, I got to thinking
about the thing today, see.
And I thought that maybe you would ..
That is, I thought maybe
you and I could ..
Well.
Well I figured out Amy, that
if I could help Joe out a little.
Maybe it would make me
look a little better.
Or that maybe you would ..
You see what I mean, don't you, Amy?
Go on, Aubrey.
Well .. I went to see his lawyers.
And I told them that I was ..
That Joe, he wouldn't
even think about $5,000.
That he had to have $100,000 down and
50% of the profits or the deal was off.
What did they say?
They said the deal was off.
I don't know what is the matter with me.
I don't seem able to put my hands on
anything without making a mess of it.
But I'm going to quit making a mess
of you and your family. I tell you that.
Where are you going, Aubrey?
- I don't know.
I'm going away from here. I know that.
I want you to forget all about me, Amy.
I want you to forget that I ever made
you cry or that I hurt your feelings.
But Aubrey, after all
it wasn't your fault ..
You meant it for the best.
Oh sure. I always mean it for the best.
But it just never works out. That's all.
If getting down on my knees to ask you
to forgive me would help, I would do it.
Honest I would. In a minute.
But that won't do any good.
I'm just all wrong.
Well, don't take it so hard, Aubrey.
- It's alright.
I'm not going to be a
burden to you any longer.
Goodbye.
Amy .. Amy!
He's found out about it. He'll kill me.
Well, I hope he does.
Amy .. oh hello Aubrey.
- Yes, Joe?
Wait until I tell you what's happened.
- What's happened to what?
Aubrey, you said I was getting cheated
if I took $5,000 for that invention.
Well, Mr Weitzenkorn called
me an about an hour ago.
You remember my telling
you about Mr Weitzenkorn?
Some such name as that, yes.
He asked me to come and
meet him at the McAlpine.
Said he didn't want to see me
in his office. - That's funny.
If you think that's funny, wait
until I tell you what happened.
He said his people had been thinking
things over and had new deal for me:
$50,000 down and 20% of the profits.
He had a check for $50,000 cash,
certified, right there with him.
Joe!
He said I had to take it
or leave it .. right there.
He said that was their final offer.
I had to make up my mind then and
there, without contacting my manager.
What did you do?
- What did I do? I took it!
Joesy, I think you could
have done better.
Oh, Aubrey ..
You know, part of this
dough is really yours.
Remember that time you told me you were
working on an invention to prevent rust?
To be applied to the
molten metal internally?
Did I tell you that?
- You sure did.
You were just forgetting what I told you
two weeks before, about my invention.
Only you got it all mixed up and said
"internally" instead of "externally".
The way I was going about it.
It was you getting it mixed up like
that, that put me on the right track.
Yes, now that you mention it, I remember
having an idea or two on that subject.
Can you imagine that? Mr Weitzenkorn
not wanting me to talk with my manager.
Why, I haven't even got a manager.
Oh, yes you have Joesy-boy.
Oh, yes you have.
I'm your manager.
Oh no, Aubrey. I think I
can handle this myself.
There you are. The confidence
of youth! How I envy you, Joesy.
If you really want to
know the truth, Joesy.
I saw Mr Weitzenkorn this afternoon and
believe me I told him a thing or two.
You didn't?
Yes he did, Joe. He was
just telling me about it.
I see it. You must have.
Oh Aubrey, I hand it to you.
Oh, that's nothing Joesy-boy.
That's nothing at all.
I just told him that I was
the head of the family.
What?
That I was the head of the family.
And that if he wanted to do business
with you, he must talk to me first.
I told him that I certainly wasn't going
to let him take advantage of your youth.
Didn't you get arrested?
- Who me?
Ma .. Aubrey did it all!
He's the manager Mr Weitzenkorn
was talking about.
Aubrey got them to raise the price.
Well I never.
Oh Aubrey, you're wonderful.
Isn't he, mother.
I guess so.
I just can't understand it, that's all.
Now Mumsy-Wumsy don't let it worry you.
Don't let it worry you for a minute.
You let the little old Jersey
kid take care of everything.
He'll see you through.
Say, you got a cigarette?
- Sure, Aubrey.
What you been doing, Aubrey?
- Nothing much. Nothing much, really.
Just been sort-of waiting around for
one or two things to kind-of gel.
By the way, is there mail for me?
Anything from the other place?
Well, there's some bills, Aubrey.
There's something from the Railway
Company, but just a circular, I think.
Never mind the bills, just give me the
letter from the Railroad Company.
What do you figure on doing, Aubrey?
- I don't know. I really don't know.
Have a look around. See what develops.
I may take a small flier on the markets.
I think the industrials are a little
lower than they should be.
Oh you think so, Aubrey?
- Yeah, yeah.
Maybe if you didn't mind, you and I ..
- Yeah, sure Joe, you bet.
We'll talk that over at the proper time.
Here you are, Aubrey.
- Thanks, thanks.
Well, what do you know about that?
About what, Aubrey?
A letter from J. B. Preston.
J.B. himself.
Are they going to prosecute you?
- Prosecute?
Wait until you hear this.
"My dear Mr Piper."
"It is evident to me now,
that at your birth .."
"A special God was detailed
to watch over you."
"Thus you will be interested
but I dare say not surprised .."
"To learn that the 900 acres of land .."
"You so stupidly and ignorantly
bought for the company .."
"Have been discovered to be the only
900 acres of land in that county .."
"Fit for intensive tobacco cultivation."
"That the state has decided
to so heavily subsidize."
"We could if we wish sell the land today
for five times what we paid for it."
"And as you phrased it, dear Mr Piper,
what this railroad needs is vision."
That's just the first paragraph.
You mean, there's more?
Plenty.
"It scarcely seems likely that we could
tempt you with any job short of my own."
"But begging your indulgence .."
"I am extremely anxious to keep
that job for a few more years myself."
"If however, any lesser
position should tempt you."
"I inform you we will be willing to kill
the fatted calf upon notice from you."
That is the second paragraph.
"You will never know how hard
it was for me to write this letter."
"Trusting that someday, in a moment of
weakness, you will tell me your secret."
"I beg to remain sincerely
yours .. J.B. Preston."
Then he's got "J.B." in parenthesis.
I'm going right out to telephone Pa.
0h Aubrey, it's too wonderful.
That's nothing, that's nothing. I knew
that old J.B. would come around in time.
Just a question of time.
After all, he's too big a man you know,
not to give in if he knows he's licked.
The idea of a crazy man like
that running a railroad.
Let me see that letter.
I can't believe it.
- There it is, in black and white.
Mrs Piper, do you know what I
want you to do tomorrow, huh?
I want you to go out and buy every
suit, coat and hat there is in Newark.
Yes, sir.
It's time for the prettiest girl in town
to have clothes that she ought to have.
With all that money it's a sure thing ..
Aubrey will be going from one
room to another in a Rolls Royce.
And darling, while you're about it, look
for a little house for us to live in.
Well Aubrey, I thought we could
stay with mother until you ..
Yeah.
That's awful nice of your mother, but I
don't think we need bother her anymore.
You know Preston lives out on Long
Island. They say it's nice out there.
Yeah, very nice. Maybe you
could find a place for us there?
That is, I don't mean too
little. I mean enough ground ..
Where maybe I can play a little tennis.
Aubrey!
Well, maybe we could let the
tennis go for a while, huh?
All I can say is, heaven
help me from now on.
Aubrey, I think you're wonderful.
- Oh, that's nothing.
This is just the start.
You know I wouldn't be at all
surprised if, with Preston's help ..
Within ten years we'll probably
control every railroad in the country.
To say nothing of Europe,
Asia and Africa.
You can't tell what will happen.
Just as long as you love me.
For ever and ever and ever.
Without Europe, Asia and Africa.
Just with you.
TG
Dare me.
Dare me to walk this rail right here.
Alright, I dare you.
You double-dare me?
I double, triple, skiffle dare you!
What is this, the best two out of three?
Okay .. okay.
Watch.
No Jim, no Jim.
Why do people always have to
make such fools of themselves?
Well, they're having fun.
Besides, they're not hurting anyone.
You know, it's getting so it's no fun
to go out on these boats anymore.
I love it .. it's so peaceful.
It can't be much fun for you, Amy.
A girl isn't meant to go on a trip like
this with her sister and brother-in-law.
You ought to have a nice ..
- Look!
I'll walk up and down.
And then maybe later.
I'll dance.
You fool, you'll fall overboard. Now ..
Don't go near him! If you do he'll start
talking. Then he will fall overboard.
Jimmy, come down!
Oh, leave me alone.
You never want me to have any fun.
Jimmy!
- Jim!
Jimmy.
Jimmy, get down. Get down!
Jimmy!
Jimmy, get down here.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Be calm! Be calm everybody.
This takes a cool head.
Be calm now, be calm.
Look, look. That young
man is going in after him.
He'll get him alright, whoever he is.
Keep cool.
Keep cool.
Come here.
Come on .. hup .. hup ..
Don't pull me.
I got it.
Here, let me put this around you.
That was great.
Feeling alright?
Wait a minute.
Let's hear what he has to say.
Isn't he wonderful?
- How should I know?
Old man, it was a great
rescue job you pulled off.
Elemental, elemental. Just a matter
of keeping a cool head, that's all.
Weissmuller couldn't have done better.
Come now, when you speak of Weissmuller
you're speaking of a great swimmer.
I'm sure if you had to name the
two best swimmers in America ..
You'd have to include Weissmuller.
You'll bear me out, won't you Miss?
Oh I .. I think it was
marvellous what you did.
No .. no. Just in a day's work really.
You know, I have discovered in
this life you have to help those ..
Who are unable to help themselves.
But thank you very much just the same.
- You're welcome.
Did anyone see the
man fall off the rail?
I did.
- Yes.
Just a minute, I'll have to take
your names as witnesses, please.
Yours, Miss?
- Amy Fisher.
Address?
The Fisher Realty Company.
Douglas Mann in New York.
Newark. Thank you.
And yours, please?
- Frank Hollings. 2033 Mutual Building.
I beg your pardon, could I have a light?
Certainly.
- Thank you.
Interesting little gadget, this.
Isn't it.
- Uhuh.
I think I'll put these lighters
in all of our dining cars.
You know, kind of an individual service.
Yes, it's getting pretty difficult these
days to beat the bus competition.
To say nothing of the aeroplanes.
Believe me, they are not going to
lick the Mid-Atlantic without a fight.
I was saying to J.B. only yesterday.
- J.B.?
You mean J.B. Preston, the President?
Uhuh, the J. B. Preston the President.
Do you know Mr Preston?
I beg your pardon?
I say, do you know Mr Preston?
Do I know him?
Why, he doesn't make a move without me.
Mind you, J.B. is a pretty smart
old codger as far as that goes.
There's a lot of things on that
railroad in the last few years ..
That J. Aubrey Piper could take
a bow for If he really wanted to.
But yours-truly doesn't want to.
J. B. may be only a figurehead,
but he's a good figurehead.
You have to hurry John, if you
want to make that telephone call.
Hurry! And what does it get you?
Don't you see my dear lady,
that's the trouble with life.
You don't take any time to have
any real pleasure, to really relax.
That's true, Mr Piper. I wonder if
I might have my lighter back.
I gave it to you.
Oh, I beg your pardon. Here.
Thank you Mister ..
"Piper" you said it was?
"Piper" I said it was and "Piper" it is.
Goodnight, old man.
Goodnight, sir.
How dare you tell my
brother all that nonsense!
Well.
I didn't know he was your brother.
Why didn't he tell me
he was your brother?
Hmm.
So, you are the power
behind the throne, eh?
Aha.
And I'm a figurehead, huh?
Well, I didn't exactly say
that Mr Preston. I just said ..
I know what you said! Every word of it.
I don't know why I
don't fire you right now.
Your office manager tells me that you
are the most demoralizing influence ..
He has ever encountered.
How much do we pay you?
I'm awfully glad you brought that up,
Mr Preston. You pay me $32.50 a week.
And I'll leave it to you
whether a man of my ..
You are about the nerviest proposition
that I have ever come in contact with.
If I did my duty I would
fire you right now.
As it is, I'll be lenient.
Go on back to your work.
- Yes, sir.
Now, Mr Preston.
Don't you think ..
- Be quiet.
Nothing.
A fine way to encourage
individuality I must say.
Going down.
Fourteen.
Believe me, the working men in this
country will stand for so much. No more.
Look at the French Revolution.
Look at ancient Rome. Look at ..
- 14th floor.
Oh Piper .. come here.
Did you see Mr Preston?
Yes I saw him, and believe
me I told him a thing or two.
Don't be surprised if there's a
shake-up around here before long.
Well, before that shake-up happens.
Suppose you see if you can get out that
statement to the National Warehouse.
Try to get it within ten
thousand dollars of right.
If you can.
There's never any complaint
against my work.
There'd be complaints against your work,
if there was work to complain against!
None of you fellows
ever give me a chance.
I'm giving you your chance right now.
Sit down and go to work.
How do you do.
Am I addressing the
Fisher Realty Company?
Well, not exactly.
This is my father's business.
But I'm taking care
of the place right now.
He's out with some clients.
Sunday is a very busy day you know.
Yes it is.
Your face is very familiar to me.
And it certainly is too lovely a face to
forget. Haven't I met you somewhere?
Well, the .. the boat.
- The boat?
The excursion boat that night ..
Oh. Oh .. that.
Well, that was nothing.
Oh, it was wonderful.
You were marvellous, what you did.
Oh, that was nothing at all. After all,
somebody had to save the poor fellow.
I .. I was just thinking.
I don't even know your name.
I did hear them say "Weissmuller"
but you are not?
No, no. My name is "Piper",
"J. Aubrey Piper."
Piper? Well, my name is Amy. Amy Fisher.
Amy? That's a pretty name, isn't it.
A very pretty name
for a very pretty girl.
Well.
Is there something I can do for you?
Yes, yes. I'm considering the
purchase of a residence.
And I thought I'd like
to look over your list.
Well, we have some wonderful new
bungalows that have just come in.
Bungalows? Well I'm sorry. I'm
afraid I'm past the bungalow stage.
Well.
Well, now there is the Fleming place.
That's quite large, you might like that.
The Fleming place?
Who knows, I might like it.
Father took the car, so
if you don't mind I'll just ..
No, no .. my car is
right outside the door.
Now, if you show me where the places are
we'll go and look at them. Can we go?
Yes, sure. I'll leave a note for father.
That's the spirit.
Always leave a note for father.
You know, land is really the
only investment these days.
That's what my father always says.
I can see that your father and I
are going to get along great.
I certainly hope so.
I'm sorry we couldn't find anything.
If you could come in for a
minute, I'm sure father is home.
Nothing I'd like.
But the fact is I have a very important
business engagement downtown.
I'm awfully sorry. Thanks just the same.
Hello Joe.
- Hello Amy.
Joe, I want you to meet Mr Piper.
This is my brother Joe - Aubrey.
- How do you do.
Mister uh ..
- Piper. J. Aubrey Piper.
Your sister has kindly conducted
me around the neighboring mansions.
You are a realtor too, I take it?
- Oh no, Joe works for the city.
But he's working on an invention.
- An invention?
Well, well, I used to be a bit
of an inventor myself. Yeah.
Inventing inventions.
There is nothing like it, is there.
Especially for the inventor.
Yes, I guess that is right.
Well, I am glad to have met you.
- Thank you.
So long Amy.
- So long.
Sure you won't come in for a cup of tea?
Honestly, there is nothing I'd
like more, but business is business.
I'm sorry. Thank you very
much for showing me around.
Oh, I was glad to.
You will surely come back on Sunday?
You have the word of a Piper,
and a Piper never forgets.
Toodle-oo.
Hello mother.
- Oh, it's you. Hello.
Did Pop get the note I left?
- Yes. What was it, a rental?
No, he's an important man. A railroad
official. He wants to buy a house.
Something like the Fleming
place only bigger.
I didn't know they came any
bigger than the Fleming place.
Did you show it to him?
- Yes.
He has the loveliest smile.
Did he like it?
No, not exactly.
We went in his car and he's got the
nicest car I've ever ridden in. Big.
Well, what about the
Hollingsworth place?
Well, I showed it to him but I didn't
have a key so we couldn't get in.
Oh, we had more fun.
We tried to get in via the kitchen
window and couldn't open it.
So then we went around ..
- Oh, I see.
Who is this miracle-man?
His name is "Piper". J. Aubrey Piper.
He's coming out again next Sunday.
I uh ..
I'm going to get a list of new
houses for him to look at.
I think your new green dress will be
nice to show the houses in, don't you?
Oh, he's so nice, mother.
I hope so .. if you like him.
But you mustn't judge
on seeing him once.
Oh, you'd know what I mean
if you'd seen him once.
Besides, I've seen him before.
- Where?
Do you remember the excursion boat
that night I was with Frank and Clara?
I told you about the man who jumped in
to save the other man who was drowning?
Well, he's the man.
- The one that got drowned?
No. The other man.
It was the other one that
got drowned, was it?
No mother, he ..
Oh well. Anyway, he's coming out again.
I'm going to ask him to
come in when he does.
Oh, I don't suppose he ever will.
I guess I'm just being silly.
He's much too important for us.
[ Car horn ]
Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.
We're busy getting ready for
the Auto Show tomorrow.
Any message for the chief, sir?
Well, it's a nice little job.
But I'm afraid you'll have to
tell him my girl doesn't like it.
Mr Roberts would be glad to demonstrate
it for you again any time you say, sir.
Thank you very much. That's very nice
of you. I will keep it in mind. Thanks.
You mean Piper is still coming here?
Sunday nights too, as
well as Wednesdays.
It's like a steady thing.
Too steady for my taste, if you ask me.
Clara, you have never in your
life heard anybody talk so much.
The "Human Radio".
That's what your Pa calls him.
Well, maybe Amy doesn't look
at him through Pop's eyes.
She doesn't know anything about him
except he works for the Mid-Atlantic.
Him and his carnations.
I believe in my heart Clara,
that's what's turned her head.
You often see things like that you know.
Any fool in the land can put a carnation
in his coat, or his hat over one eye.
And half a dozen sensible
women will be dying about him.
I'll be that's him now.
They'll see you Ma.
No they won't .. that's him.
That's the third new car he's
had in the last six weeks.
How do you suppose he keeps
a car like that on his salary, Ma?
Demonstrations.
That's how he keeps a
car like that on his salary.
He never has the same one more
than three of four times in a row.
If they demonstrated suits and hats,
he'd be the best-dressed man in America.
Your mother's home, Amy.
I saw here in the window.
Yes, I saw her too.
I can feel my headache
coming on already.
Why don't you go to bed, Ma?
- What's the use?
He's got a voice you can
hear in the next town.
I'll be right down, Aubrey.
Aubrey.
Try not to get into any
arguments with mother. Please.
Count on me, Amy.
The soft answer that turneth away wrath.
Hello mother, hello Clara. I'll be back
in a minute. Go right in Aubrey.
Are the folk's home? Well, well.
Hello Clara. Hello Mrs Fisher.
Good evening.
"Good evening" you call it Mrs Fisher,
and good evening it is.
How's the little mother tonight?
I don't see Popsy. How is he?
In fact, where is Popsy?
Mister Fisher has gone out.
If you don't mind.
No, I don't mind at all.
As a matter of fact, I'm glad to
see Popsy knows how to live.
A man has to go out now and then. Can't
hang around the same dull surroundings.
People who live in glasshouses shouldn't
talk about dull old surroundings.
You mean me, huh?
I get it Mrs Fisher, I get it.
Hello Aubrey.
Hello there, Joesy.
Well, how's the old inventing?
Everything getting invented alright?
Everything is alright.
- Good.
Don't you go staying down in that
cold cellar again tonight, Joe.
No. I won't, Ma.
Now you be careful Joe, you be careful.
You can catch cold down there.
Great kid, Joe. Great kid.
Gee, I almost forgot this.
There you are, Mrs Fisher.
Sweets for the sweet.
For me?
- For you alone.
I picked it out myself too. Chocolate
bonbons, marshmallows and glacs.
Thanks.
- You are welcome.
To say that you're welcome, nay thrice
welcome, would be putting it mildly.
Infinitely more blessed is he
who gives than he who receives.
To bring a little happiness
into a neighbor's heart.
To bring a smile where
perhaps a tear has been.
That is the only true pleasure.
Well don't you worry about me.
There's no tears around here.
Oh, that's just a figure
of speech, Mrs Fisher.
Come on, wherever English is spoken.
You'll bear me out, won't you, Clara?
Well, I wasn't long, was I Aubrey?
How come you're not home tonight, Clara?
- Frank had some business in town.
I came out see Ma.
The old daughterly spirit
Ah, touching, I call it.
When we want to know what
you call it, we'll ask you.
Come on, Aubrey. I want to show you
that book I was talking to you about.
And by the way, mister Piper.
Try and remember that our library
is not just one large ashtray.
Ha! "Not just one large ashtray".
Score one for Mumsy.
Glad I saw you, Clara.
- Thank you.
Now don't run away, Mumsy. I'll pop back
shortly and we'll have a little chat.
Don't you bother about "popping".
I'm alright as I am.
He called you "Clara".
I don't think he's seen you
twice in his life, has he?
Oh, just twice.
But what does that matter?
I'm sure he means well.
You know it's a terrible thing
Amy when people grow old.
Hard to believe they were once young ..
And somebody, no matter how foolish
he was, thought they were beautiful.
I'll give you three guesses who
that clown thinks he's talking about.
That's your Pa, I guess.
Is that you, Pa?
- Yeah, Ma.
Hello Pop.
- Hello. - Hello.
I guess I'll be going now you're back.
- Where's Frank?
He had to have dinner downtown with
some men, but he'll be home by now.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
Live, laugh and be merry, Amy. There's
more ways than one to skin a cat.
Who's that? Windy?
Who do you think it is?
There isn't but one voice like that in
the whole world. You know that.
Yeah, I know.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
Wouldn't it kill you as he dies laughing
when he gets off one of his bum jokes.
Somebody's got to laugh.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
Ah, that's the time I got you, Amy.
Leave it to me to put it over the plate.
[ Piper: laughing loud ]
He's got Amy laughing now, too.
That radiator in our room is out of
order again, Pop. I must get it fixed.
Get it fixed.
Goodnight Pop.
- Goodnight.
Goodnight, Ma. - Goodnight, dear.
- See you tomorrow.
Goodnight Aubrey, goodnight Amy.
- Goodnight.
I'll just let it run for a minute
and then it will be alright.
What's the matter?
Nothing. Aubrey just
wants a drink of water.
I'd like to fix a drink
for him sometime.
Hello Popsy-Wopsy! How are you Pop?
Now stay where you
are folks. Don't move.
Just a little social attention. I'm
going right out again on the next train.
There you are Mumsy-Wumsy.
Every woman's fancy, huh?
Right down to the little old carnation.
Ma.
- Yes?
I have to have a double socket. I have
to keep two lights burning at once.
We've got one, haven't we?
Yes, there's one over in the
corner behind the settee.
Thanks.
- Joe.
Why don't you stop for the night?
You ought to get a rest now and then.
I'm not tired Ma.
Now Joesy-boy, your dear Mama is right.
What do you know about it?
Joe, when you hear her speak you get
words of wisdom direct from the well.
Let me tell you Mr Joesy-boy, you are
wasting your time. When you're done ..
They'll offer twenty cents for it and
sell it for twenty million dollars.
I know.
Because that's exactly what
they did to little old yours-truly.
For a formula that solved the greatest
problem in the industrial world today.
A formula to prevent the
rusting of iron and steel.
A solution to be added to
the metal in its molten state ..
Instead of applied externally
as they have been doing.
What did you say, Aubrey?
I said ..
A simple combination of chemical
elements to be added ..
To the metal in its molten state
instead of applied externally ..
As they have been doing.
Did you get what you want, Joe?
Oh yeah, thanks.
Yes sir, you'll thank me for
that advice someday, Joe.
I've been through the mill. I know.
Yeah, sure.
Oh Amy. Oh Amy!
Third down and forty yards to go.
Come on, time out for water.
You got a customer waiting here.
Gosh, a fellow must have a drink once in
a while, ain't he Popsy-Wopsy old boy?
Let me alone, you!
Keep your hands to yourself.
You're the worst pest
I ever saw in my life.
Sign on the dotted line. No point in old
Pop getting sore and walking out on us.
What do you know about that?
There she is herself,
not a moving picture.
Blushing as she gave it looking down.
At her feet so bare in
her tattered gown.
What's wrong with her feet?
And when it comes to slaughter
you will do your work on water.
You're a better man
than I am, Gunga Din!
Well here's to laughter, ladies.
Here's to laughter.
Very nice .. very nice indeed.
And a sweeter draught was
never quaffed from a fairer hand.
Oh, Aubrey.
I'm going to change all that someday
Mrs Fisher. Simplify the whole thing.
A woman does all the drudgery. And why?
Why should the fairer sex work their
fingers to the bone? Why, I ask you?
You can't answer, can you. You know
why? Because there is no answer.
Just negligence.
Amy look .. I was just
telling your mother ..
I want to tell you what I told her.
Say Amy .. how uh ..
How do you think your
mother's going to take it?
Well I .. I don't know.
You see.
- I know.
She's .. she's not as fond of
me as she might be, is she.
It's not that she doesn't
approve of you Aubrey, but ..
It's because I'm not serious enough.
I know .. I joke too much
to suit a lot of people.
Sometimes, I just try to kid them
you know, and they think I mean it.
You think I'm on the
level don't you, Amy?
Aubrey.
I know .. sometimes
I just say things in fun.
And I don't, you know ..
I mean, maybe I say things that ..
Well, aren't exactly true, but ..
But I want to tell you one
thing that is true, Amy.
And I want you to know it's true.
I love you, and you are the
only girl in the world for me.
Oh .. well, what's the matter mother?
It's 12 o'clock.
That's what's the matter.
12 o'clock is late enough for
decent people to go to bed.
Why mother, don't you know that
Thomas Edison never retired until 4am?
You invent electric light and you
can stay up all night for all I care.
Your Pa can't sleep.
- It's alright, it's alright.
I was just about to take my
reluctant leave anyway.
I'll see you to the door, Aubrey.
That's fine. Always
free the parting guest.
Goodnight mother Fisher.
- Goodnight.
Like the candy?
I didn't eat any of it.
Maybe you didn't eat any of it,
but you sure practised.
Oh Amy, I didn't know how hard
it was going to be to lose you.
We're going to miss you, Amy.
- Oh come now, Mumsy-Mumsy.
After all, you're not going to lose a
daughter, you are just gaining a son.
How about that Popsy-Wopsy? Am I
on the nose or just in the money?
It'll be alright mother,
we're living in town.
You see us all the time, Aubrey and I.
Come on Amy, we got
to hurry up. Come on.
Come on, come on. Get moving.
Drive fast or we'll miss the boat.
- What boat?
Oh, secret of state. Can't tell you.
A man can't have his mother-in-law
along on a honeymoon.
Don't you worry about me going
along on your honeymoon.
Take care, Aubrey.
- Yeah, I will.
Goodbye, Amy.
And if it's raining where you go
don't forget to wear your rubbers.
Au revoir, farewell, so long,
auf wiedersehen, arrivederci!
Goodbye, all you good people!
Goodbye .. goodbye ..
Will we miss him?
It's going to seem like we
suddenly all want deaf.
Do you know where they're going, Ma?
- No, I don't.
Hey, look.
Here's some travel folders.
Aubrey must have dropped them
from his pocket. - Let me see it.
"Taj Mahal by the moonlight."
Don't sound decent to me.
Oh, here's another one.
- "On the beach at Waikiki."
"Underneath the Southern Cross."
Going abroad. Hmm.
Well, you've certainly got
to hand it to Aubrey.
He's no Piker.
Big crowd on the boat?
- Packed.
That's fine. Fine.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Here, I'll take the pot.
Here we are.
- Yeah.
Mrs Piper, what day is today?
- An anniversary.
Correct, Mrs Piper.
What kind of an anniversary?
- A wedding anniversary.
And whose wedding
anniversary, Mrs Piper?
Ours, Aubrey.
Ours, Mr Piper. Yours and mine.
Correct again, Mrs Piper.
Why, you'll be teaching the class
yourself before the term is over.
Now, just one more little question.
What wedding anniversary?
The six month, four days and eleven
hours wedding anniversary.
And four minutes.
But I won't hold that against you.
And so Professor Smithers, on
behalf of the graduating class.
We, the pupils of Central High School ..
Are very happy to present you
with this tiny token of our esteem.
Oh Aubrey .. it's cute.
Yeah.
I picked it out myself.
Oh, this is what you said you were going
out to get cigarettes for last night?
I got the cigarettes, too.
The shelf is getting pretty crowded.
Well, we'll have to get another shelf.
Cute, isn't it? Huh?
Uhuh.
Yeah, I tried to get you a cat with ..
You know, that meows when you pull
its tail? But they were out of them.
Ah, that's the trouble with
the American retailer today.
He doesn't know how to buy.
All stocked up with a lot of
stuff that people don't want.
Scared to death to really buy the things
he could make a lot of dough on.
No vision.
Hello Clara. - Hello Ma.
- Hello, Frank.
You're late Clara.
- I'm sorry, Ma.
Hmm.
Oh, that's a nice coat you're
wearing. New, isn't it?
Uhuh.
Your supper's getting cold
and Pa is nearly starved.
Frank couldn't get away
from his office until late.
I don't hold with a man making
himself a slave to his office.
There is no reason why a body shouldn't
be ready to have supper at six o'clock.
Hello Pa.
Hello Clare. Hello Frank.
- Hello Pa.
What are you reading?
- Just this.
I'll take your hat and coat, Frank.
Oh no. Frank has got to run along.
He has an important meeting.
It seems to me Frank has always
got an important meeting.
Well he has to see some men.
This is really important.
It's a funny thing the way a married
man, just as soon as it gets dark ..
Has to see some man and
go to some lodge meeting.
Oh, I guess I'm not as bad as all that.
I'd like you to cook for 9 people and
then have only 4 of them stay to eat.
What's the matter?
Where's Aubrey and Amy?
I'll tell you where is Aubrey
and Amy. At the Opera.
Listening to some foreigners
holler. That's where they are.
That's right. I leant
Amy my ermine coat.
Called up, big as life,
Amy did, at five o'clock.
Said "Aubrey's got two tickets to the
Opera, so we're going to the Opera."
The opera!
I never heard of anybody I knew ever
going to the Opera. Did you Clara?
Why yes .. Frank and I go sometimes.
Well, that's different.
Frank can afford to buy the tickets. But
where that Aubrey ever got the money ..
No, Ma. Well, I really
must be getting along.
You want me to pick you up
after the meeting? - No thanks.
I think I'll be going home early and
Joe or Pa will take me with the car.
Alright. Goodnight Pa.
Goodnight Ma. - Goodnight Frank.
- Goodnight Clara. - Goodnight.
I must get the supper on the
table. Come and help me, Clara.
What do you think of that clown Piper?
The Opera!
And him in debt up to his eyes.
Ma, you oughtn't always to be
picking on Aubrey like that.
I don't care about Aubrey. It's Amy.
She's married to him.
That's the trouble.
Amy doesn't mind it Ma,
as long as it's Aubrey.
She's in love with him.
You are always talking about
love. You give me a pain.
Don't you see she's in love with him?
- How do I know whether she is or not?
I don't know anything about people when
they're in love, except they act silly.
Most everybody I ever knew acted silly.
I'm sure she acted silly
when she took him.
She might have taken worse, Ma.
He does his best.
He works every day and
he gives her his money.
And nobody ever heard of him
looking at another woman.
But he's such a rattle-brain, Clara.
There are lots of things more difficult
in a man to put up with than that, Ma.
But you can put up with anything.
If he loves you.
I never saw a married
woman so full of love.
And that's because I ..
I never knew of a butcher or grocer who
takes love for spinach or lamb chops.
No Opera tickets either.
The idea of that brass band.
The Opera!
Look, it's turning over.
Amy, it's turning over.
Is that marvellous?
I sure can't believe it.
It plays twelve records
without stopping.
If you want to play the same record
over again, just press the button.
You see?
[ Opera music ]
Remember that Amy?
Remember that from the Second Act?
Turn that thing off, Aubrey.
Turn it off? No, there's Bing
Crosby on the other side.
Turn it off.
I want to talk to you.
Shoot.
While I was shopping this afternoon,
I had to get some kitchen pots and pans.
At Charles Brown & Sons,
they wouldn't let me have them.
Because we haven't paid for that bridge
table and lamp we bought 3 months ago.
Oh gosh, that's right. I forgot.
Oh gee, I got to take care of that.
I thought you told me you won them in
a raffle the boys in the office got up.
Yeah I did, didn't I.
Well, you told me you wanted a
bridge table and a bridge lamp.
I knew you'd not let me buy
it as we didn't have any cash.
So I told you I won it in a raffle.
It was a good idea too, wasn't it?
Gee, it brightens up the room.
You look awful pretty there,
with your book and everything.
But Aubrey, it wasn't right.
I didn't want a bridge table
and bridge lamp so badly ..
That I couldn't wait until
we could afford them.
Oh Amy. The whole thing
don't amount to twenty bucks.
Twenty bucks.
You don't seem to realize that twenty
bucks is two thirds of your salary.
Well .. I'm doing the best I can.
I can't help if I don't earn any more.
Oh, I know Aubrey.
But you don't seem to realize that ..
Do you want me to answer?
- No, I'll go.
Hello .. yes.
This is Mrs Piper.
The Victrolla?
It's very nice.
I'm sure there must be some mistake.
Well, if Mr Piper said that,
he wasn't in earnest.
Yes Mr Jenkins, I understand all
that but it is absolutely impossible.
Please send for it first
thing in the morning.
No, there is not a chance in the world.
Look. Look here.
"First, Satan galloped into the mists in
black harness on a milk-white steed."
"Death rode slowly behind on a .."
- Say!
I thought you said
it was an old model ..
That Jenkins was selling next week.
And that he didn't have room
for it in his store until then.
Well you see, I thought ..
And you said you'd pay him $100
tomorrow morning as a deposit.
No, no. I didn't promise him that.
No, no. I just said, if you liked it.
That is, I thought that ..
If we liked it, see.
I thought that maybe we could ..
Maybe we could what?
You know we haven't a hundred dollars.
Why, we haven't got a hundred cents!
It's not my fault if we haven't got any
money. I turn over every cent I make.
Oh, I know that Aubrey.
I'm not picking on you, darling.
But ..
Well ..
Don't you see?
Amy.
Oh, Amy.
Oh Aubrey.
If I could only make you see what a
crime we're committing living this way.
Spending money we haven't got.
Every week we're getting
deeper and deeper in debt.
Well it's not always
going to be like that.
Now you wait and see.
Just you wait and see.
My turn will come. You just
let me get one break.
Oh, I know you're going
to make good, Aubrey.
But why can't we wait until our turn
comes, until you get your break.
Then we ..
[ Buzzer ]
I wonder who that could be.
Maybe it's Clara. She said she may drop
over tonight if Frank didn't come home.
Oh gosh, I hope it is Clara.
You know, we don't see enough of Clara.
Good old Clara.
Mr Piper?
- I'm Mr Piper.
J. Aubrey Piper?
You said it. "J. Aubrey Piper".
Here, sir.
Thank you.
What is it Aubrey?
I don't know.
What is it?
Nothing at all. Just a little circular.
Let me see.
- No, it's nothing. It's just a ..
Why Aubrey, they're
attaching your salary.
Why they can't attach my salary. I'm a
married man. They can only attach half.
Only half?
What is it, Aubrey? You must
have known this was coming.
They don't attach your salary until they
have tried all ways to get their money.
It's just for a couple
of little things I bought.
Maybe I said I paid less for
them than I really did, but ..
Then of course, I had the florist's bill
for all the flowers when we got married.
So, you didn't want to worry me.
Aubrey, you listen to me.
- Ah, a speech.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me
pleasure to introduce the little lady ..
Aubrey, that will do.
You didn't want to worry me. Now we've
got to get by on half your salary for ..
For how long, Aubrey?
It's just a couple of hundred bucks.
That's about four months, roughly.
And we're head-over-heels
in debt as it is.
This can't go on, Aubrey.
Oh Listen Amy, it won't be for long.
I'll strike something big in no time.
Yes, and in the meantime
we have to live on your salary.
It's only half of what
we thought it was.
Well, the first thing we've got to
do, is to give up this apartment.
Well now, that is alright with me.
As a matter of fact, I've felt for a
long time that the place is too small.
There's scarcely room to ..
We'll move to mother's house
until we get straightened out.
We'll move over to mother's?
Oh Amy, you're joking.
I'm not joking.
I'll talk it with mother first thing
in the morning and fix it up with her.
We can have my old room.
You're not going to get me
to move into that dump.
I'm moving into that dump
tomorrow, Aubrey.
And I'm staying there until we've
got solid ground beneath us again.
And the first thing I'll do
is get my old job back.
Amy, what are you talking about?
I'm not going to have my
wife working for a living.
Gosh.
Well, I guess I can take
care of my family.
Of course you can, darling.
But.
Well, now you need a little
help. And I'm going to help.
I won't do it.
I don't want to go to mother's
tomorrow alone, Aubrey.
But I will if I have to.
There is no power in the world that can
make me spend money that I haven't got.
And you haven't got. It is dishonest.
If you want to keep on fooling yourself.
If you don't care people think you're
a show-off with nothing to back it up.
I do care.
And I'm through living that way.
Oh, Aubrey.
Amy.
Amy, can I come in?
Amy.
Amy, don't cry. Please don't, darling.
Please.
Oh Aubrey.
It was terrible of me
talking to you like that.
You know that? You see
that. Don't you darling?
Sure I do, darling. I'll do
anything you say, honest I will.
And Aubrey, you'll see .. honest.
It won't be so hard. It won't take so
long for us to get straightened out.
And then when we do, we'll be able
to live on what you make and ..
Then what?
Well.
You try to remember.
You don't earn .. so very much, and ..
And you're not .
Yeah .. yeah, I know.
I'm not the President of the
railroad. Is that what you mean?
And I'm not the big-shot that I try to
make people think I am. Is that it?
Oh, you are a big-shot.
Not yet, of course. But ..
- Listen, Amy. Listen.
I didn't give in at first because
I was ashamed to, see. But ..
Well.
I don't want you to think I don't
know you're right, because I do.
Honest I do.
But it's all going to be different.
- Is it really, Aubrey?
You can bet your life it is.
Yes sir. I'm going to get down to work.
No more going to the office late. Now,
quarter of eight for me every morning.
And I'll quit watching the clock too.
To find out what time I can leave.
I'll make them promote me. And
I'll quit talking big until I am big.
Yes sir.
You're going to be proud of me, Amy.
Oh I'm so proud of you now, Aubrey.
So, we're not going to start
next week or next month.
We're going to start right now.
What was that for?
- Well ..
I suppose you think electric
light don't cost money, huh?
Oh Aubrey!
Morning Mr Edwards.
- What time you got, Perry?
A quarter of eight.
- Thank you.
Good morning, Piper.
- Good morning.
You may be right, Amy.
It's got me so I don't know
where I'm at, at all. Only ..
You'll see, mother. You won't know
Aubrey. Oh, you're going to love him.
The proof of the pudding, Amy.
You're going to be the proudest mother
and mother-in-law in this town.
I hope so.
If it turns out the way you
say Amy, it will be fine.
So, when he comes home tonight.
You'll try to be nice to him, won't you?
I promise from my heart, Amy.
Your Pa and I will do everything we
can to make the two of you happy.
But if he ..
Now, there is going to
be no more "But if he's .."
Aren't you going to lunch, Piper?
No Mr Edwards, it's a waste of time.
Most people eat too much, anyway.
Oh Piper.
- Yes, sir?
Come here.
You'd better take those Barnabas
papers up to The President's office.
Barnabas is coming in this
afternoon to sign the contract.
All drawn up and checked.
Ready to sign on the dotted line.
Everything is in order, Mr Edwards.
- That's fine.
Say, Piper.
I always believed that you
had the right stuff in you.
I'm glad to see you made up
your mind to take advantage of it.
I like your spirit .. keep it up.
Thanks.
18th floor.
- Yes, sir.
A team that won't be
beaten can't be beaten.
If you've the right stuff in you
boy, it's bound to come out.
18th Floor.
I beg your pardon.
- Yes?
I'm looking for The President's office.
- Mr Preston? Fine. I go there myself.
Oh, do you have an
appointment with Mr Preston?
I sure have, but I don't know that
he's going to be so glad to see me.
I don't know that I want
to do business his way.
Come now, come. After all, when you say
his way you mean the Mid-Atlantic way.
There's nothing wrong with the
Mid-Atlantic way to do business.
There hasn't been for 60 years.
- I don't mean ..
When you cast a slur on Mid-Atlantic you
cast a slur on Mr Preston personally.
And 18,000 loyal employees.
- Say, I ..
Now come, let's talk this
thing over man-to-man.
We can step right in here.
I'm sure I can show you that ..
You made some little mistake that
colored your whole viewpoint.
My name is Piper. J. Aubrey Piper.
I'm sure I can straighten out
your difficulty with the railroad.
Now maybe you can. My name is
Barnabas. Andrew Barnabas.
Oh, Barnabas? Mr Barnabas?
I know all about you, Mr Barnabas.
It's about that land?
- The land .. yes, it sure is.
Now, there's the
situation in a nutshell.
You feel that the railroad should buy
1,000 acres instead of the 100 it wants.
And you feel that the 900 acres will be
valueless when the 100 acres are gone.
But on the other hand, you must
realize the railroad's position.
You see, all we really want is
the 100 acres. Right?
Right.
Now, I'll make a little suggestion.
He came into the building alright
and spoke to one of the starters.
I found the elevator man who carried him
up. He started for this office alright.
Well, where is he?
You'll never regret it, Mr Barnabas.
I beg your pardon. Are you Mr Barnabas?
- That's right.
Well Mr Preston is waiting for you.
We wondered what became of you.
I guess Mr Preston will be glad of the
delay when I tell him what it was about.
Eh, Mr Piper?
Well goodbye Mr Barnabas.
I'll see you again sometime.
Why .. aren't you going to ..?
- No, no. I have other things to do.
I only came up to bring the contracts
to Mr Preston for you to sign.
Will you see he gets these?
Goodbye again, Mr Barnabas.
- Goodbye Mr Piper. Goodbye sir.
Alright. Come on, come on. 14th floor.
14th floor.
Mr Edwards wants to see you.
- Oh thanks, son.
Piper.
The President's office just telephoned.
Mr Preston wants to see you right away.
You haven't got yourself
into a jam again, I hope.
No sir, no more jams
for J. Aubrey Piper.
Going up.
18th floor.
Let me tell you something young man.
There's a tide in the affairs of man ..
When taken at the flood,
leads on to fortune.
18th floor.
Why Mr Preston, it was nothing
at all. Nothing at all, really.
Well.
Mr Preston, anybody would have done
the same thing in my case. I mean ..
Almost anybody would
have done the same thing.
Mr Preston.
One for all and all for one.
That's my motto.
That's got it .. that's got it.
You can go right in, Mr Piper.
Ah ..
Do you know what you have done?
You have cost this railroad $30,000.
Mr Preston, I ..
How dare you butt into things
that are none of your business.
What right have you?
Oh, I thought you'd be pleased.
Oh.
You thought I would be pleased, huh?
We have to buy 900 acres of land that
is no good to anyone in the whole world.
And you thought we would be pleased?
Well, you get your hat and
coat and get out of here!
Mr Preston.
I hereby tender you my
resignation from this railroad.
To take effect at your
earliest convenience.
Mr Preston, I can see now this railroad
isn't big enough for the two of us.
You know, you're not the kind
of man I thought you were at all.
Know what I think you are, Mr Preston?
And I choose my words very carefully.
I think you are an old fogey.
What?
Come in here, Smith.
Now then .. you get out of here.
Yes sir, an old fogey.
And I repeat it in the presence of your
hireling: I think you're an old fogey.
You can't see beyond
the end of your nose.
Along comes a man like me
who tries to get you out of a rut.
And what do you do?
You denounce him, you scream
at him, you send for your bouncer.
Smith.
See that this man gets whatever
is coming to him .. and leaves!
I have had as much patience with this
situation as any man can expect to have.
I resign!
- You get out of here!
And Mr Preston, remember this.
I bear you no ill-will personally.
Really I don't.
You're nothing but a symbol.
Just a symbol, that's all.
The old order, changing.
That's the way of the world,
Mr Preston. The way of the world.
Good day to you, sir.
Think it over sir. When you've made a
mistake, don't be afraid to admit it.
Remember this: "To make errors is human,
but to forget about them is divine."
Good day, sir.
I'm sorry Piper, really I am.
You don't have to feel sorry for me.
Preston is the guy I'm sorry for.
There he stood before me, in all his
nakedness, just like a hollow shell.
There it is. I thought
I forgot my eraser.
I saw Jim Haggarty this morning. They're
looking for people down at his place.
You know, the insurance firm ..
"Hammogher and Haggarty"
at 162 7th Avenue.
If you beat it right down there, I think
you'll land something. - Thanks.
Have them mail my check will you.
- Alright.
What's the number again on 7th Avenue?
- Here, I'll write it down for you.
And I said to her right out, I said ..
"Amy, I want you to answer me one thing.
Can the leopard change his spots?"
And she said:
"Well, maybe not a leopard,
but I didn't know Aubrey".
Oh, give him a chance.
I'm going to give him a chance.
I promised Amy that we'd be nice
to him no matter what he said.
And he's sure to say something.
Now .. Ma.
Well, no matter what he says or does,
we've got to pretend not to notice it.
Good heavens, what happened to you?
Oh, hello, hello.
I see it's beginning to rain outside.
Never mind the rain.
The rain didn't do that to you.
Now please don't get
excited dear little mother.
It was just a mistake on
the part of a Traffic Officer.
Don't tell me a Traffic
Officer did that to you?
How are you tonight, Popsy?
Are you hurt?
- Uhuh. It's nothing.
You look like a bandit.
The very-est trifle I assure you. Just
a little scratch from the wind-shield.
What was it? Some car you borrowed?
Where is it?
Well, if you must know,
the Police have got it.
Then you got arrested too?
Well, I accompanied the officer
to the Station House, yes.
And believe me, I told them a few
things about the traffic in this city.
I guess they told you a
few things too, didn't they?
Pardon me?
- Never mind, you're welcome.
Oh .. the potatoes ..
Did they fine you, Aubrey?
Well, they complied with the usual
procedure in cases of this kind.
That is, they released the defendant ..
On bail, pending the outcome
of the victim's injuries.
Was there somebody injured?
Hmm.
Nobody but the Traffic
Cop who ran into me.
Traffic cop?
Couldn't you find anybody
but a Traffic Cop to run in to?
Was he much hurt?
Oh .. he was faking a
broken arm when I left.
Why, he ran into me right head-on.
Was he in a car, too?
No, he was jay-walking.
Jay-walking?
- Yeah.
Tried to beat me to the kerb after
giving me the right-of-way.
Believe me, I told him a thing or
two on the way to the hospital.
The hospital?
How much bail did they
put you under, Aubrey?
$1,000.
Who did you get to go
a $1,000 bail for you?
You know. Please, my dear
little mother, don't get excited.
I managed to keep the whole
affair right within the family.
What do you mean?
Your other son-in-law was
kind enough to come forward.
Frank?
How'd he happen to get into it?
- Well ..
He was fortunate enough to
witness the whole affair.
You see, Frank was just coming
from his business and ..
He happened to be on the
trolley-car that ran into me.
Aubrey.
Aubrey, what happened?
Well, well, well. The old kid herself.
What happened, Aubrey?
- Oh, my Amy.
What happened to your head?
Nothing, darling. Take it easy.
It's nothing at all.
Are you hurt?
- No, no, no.
Just a couple of scratches from
the wind shield. That's all.
Just a little shake-up.
He nearly killed a Traffic Officer
and he ran smack into a trolley-car.
That's how much of a
little shake-up it was.
Oh, you didn't Aubrey, did you?
Why of course not, Amy. You know
better than that. Your mother's raving.
The man's in the hospital.
That's how much I'm raving.
Is your head hurting, darling?-
No, darling. Honestly, it's just a
few little scratches. That's all.
Well, come on, let me bathe it for you.
- Oh Amy.
Come on Aubrey.
- Oh, now listen ..
Sit over there, Aubrey.
Where is it, Aubrey?
- It's right up here.
It's just a little scratch, now Amy.
Oh, Aubrey.
It's alright, for heaven's sake.
- It looks sore.
You fuss over a little thing like that.
Well, I'll just sponge
it off a little, Aubrey.
Where did you get the car, Aubrey?
It was one of those foreign cars. I was
going along minding my own business.
Aubrey, where did you get the car?
I had it out on a demonstration.
Oh Aubrey.
They won't do anything
to you, will they?
Ah. No, no. They might try
to take away my license.
You haven't got a license, have you?
No.
What time did all this happen?
It was around 4 o'clock.
4 o'clock?
Why weren't you at the office?
At the ..?
Oh. Well see, I meant to tell you Amy.
I resigned today.
You what?
Yeah, I quit. But believe
me, before I quit ..
Yes, I know. Before you quit, you told
them a couple of things, huh Aubrey?
Yes.
Amy.
Oh Amy.
You were fired, weren't you Aubrey.
Well, I guess maybe they were
displeased Amy. But I resigned.
Well what happened?
You talked yourself into
something, didn't you.
What was it?
I thought I was doing
something to help them, Amy.
Honest, I tried my best.
- It doesn't make any difference.
I'm not going on living
with you, Aubrey.
What?
I honestly believe maybe it's my fault.
Maybe if not for me, you could
make something of yourself.
Oh now Amy, how could anything like ..
Well, maybe not. I don't know.
All I do know is that we
can't go on this way.
If I live with you another day this way.
I'll lose all my respect for you.
You mean, you want to leave me?
I mean .. that I want
you to be a man, Aubrey.
And you're not.
And until you are I won't live with you.
Are you on the level with this?
I'm on the level, Aubrey.
Well, Amy I know. I can change, Amy.
I will change. I don't know
whatever made me do it.
But Amy I'll never ..
- It's too late Aubrey!
You've done something to me.
I don't know what it is.
But everything has changed.
You mean you don't love me?
- I don't know, Aubrey.
All I do know is, that feeling the
way I do feel about you now ..
I can't go on living with you.
Well, then it's all over, huh?
Uhuh.
You think maybe I'd better go .. now?
I think so, Aubrey.
Hello Amy.
Hello Aubrey.
Hello, Mrs Fisher.
I was just packing.
- Yes.
I came to get the rest
of my things, too.
I thought you were going
to stay here, Aubrey?
The rent is paid until
the end of the week.
Yeah, I thought so too. But ..
But I just can't stay here.
Come on, Amy.
Amy ..
Joe!
Hello Aubrey.
- Hello.
You are up early.
- Yeah, yeah.
How's everything at the house, Joe?
Alright I guess.
- Good.
How is Amy?
Fine.
How does she sleep?
Alright, I guess.
Did your mother remember about
the pillows? - What pillows?
She can't sleep unless
she's got two, you know.
How does she look?
- Fine.
Good.
Not pale or anything, huh?
No.
Did she eat her breakfast alright?
Yes.
Orange juice and oatmeal?
One egg in 3 minutes? Coffee?
Say Joe, was she wearing
her wedding ring?
To tell you the truth
Aubrey, I didn't notice.
She didn't say anything, did she Joe?
About anything? About me I mean.
She said she didn't want anybody
to talk about you and her.
Yeah, I guess she hates me, huh?
I wouldn't blame her if she did, but ..
I wish I could help Aubrey.
Say, if a little dough would help you ..
- No thanks, Joe.
What are you going to do, Aubrey?
- I'm going to try to get a job.
That's the spirit.
Well, here's my car .. good luck to you.
Thanks Joe, thanks.
Hold it .. that's enough.
That's all for today.
No more men will be taken
on until further notice.
Aubrey?
Oh, I thought it was you.
How have you been, Aubrey?
- Oh, alright, alright. How's Amy?
Everything okay, Joe?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know it's not very much
but, well I'm working anyway.
Oh, you'll get a break one
of these days, Aubrey.
Sure, sure. How's the invention, Joe?
Great. Say, I think I'm
going to put it over.
Look .. I got this yesterday.
It's from the biggest
firm of lawyers in town.
"Weitzenkorn, Kelly & Lebarsky."
They're offering me $5,000
outright for the whole works.
I'm going to see them about
it this afternoon at 2:30.
You mean, you'll take it?
- Of course I'm going to take it.
But Joe, you must be crazy.
$5,000 for an invention
that might be worth millions?
Why, they can't do that to you Joe ..
Easy Aubrey, easy ..
Yeah, you're right. There I go again.
Oh, but Joe, no kidding. You
shouldn't let them do that to you.
$5,000?
$5,000 is a lot of money, Aubrey.
If I get it, I can put in my time on a
lot of things that I've had on my mind.
You know Aubrey, if a little
money would tide you over ..
No. No thanks very much Joe.
No, I'll work this out some way myself.
Say, you can give me a cigarette though.
Oh, sure.
Oh, keep the pack, Aubrey.
So long.
- So long.
Very odd that Mr Fisher never mentioned
your name in any of our conversations.
He was acting under my instructions.
Never let the enemy know your strength.
I see. And so?
And so, Mr Weitzenkorn,
there it is. Take it or leave it.
Why you have been offering buttons for
the greatest invention of the century.
$5,000? Why you must be kidding.
It is nearly blasphemous to mention
$5,000 in connection with the invention.
Indeed?
It was our impression that $5,000
was a very liberal sum to pay ..
For an untried process
that may prove worthless.
Why should you worry if it has value
or not? I'll guarantee it has value.
That ought to be enough for anybody.
Now look here, I'm not the kind of a man
who is going to beat around the bush.
Unless you're prepared to pay Mr Fisher
$100,000 against 50% of the profits ..
We'll just have to consider
some of the other offers.
Let me get it right.
$100,000 against 50% of the net profit?
You got it right. $100,000 down
against 50% of the net profit.
Signed on the dotted line.
Mr Piper, I bid you good-day.
But I thought ..
Absolutely useless to prolong
this discussion any further.
You don't want to talk about it at all?
Exactly what I mean. Our interest
in Mr Fisher's invention is at an end.
And he has nobody to thank for
it but you. Good day, Mr Piper.
Good-day.
[ Doorbell ]
Amy.
- Yes, mother?
Answer the bell.
Alright.
Why Aubrey.
- Amy.
Come in.
Thanks.
What's happened to you, Aubrey?
- I'm alright.
Where is Joe?
- You don't look well.
Oh, I'm fine.
Where is Joe, Amy?
Joe?
Yeah, I got to see him about something.
Where is he? Do you know?
He's at work I guess.
He isn't. I called his office and he's
not there. Won't be back all afternoon.
Maybe he's gone to see
about his invention.
They're going to give him
$5,000 for it today you know.
Yeah, I know.
That was what it was about.
Amy, there is something
I've got to tell you.
Well come on in, Aubrey.
Sit down.
Ma .. ma!
Here I am. What's the matter?
- I've got something to tell you.
I wonder what is the matter with him.
Oh Amy, I'm the lowest thing in
the world. I'm even lower than that.
What is the matter, Aubrey?
Well.
You know that $5,000 they were
going to give Joe for the invention?
Yes.
Well, they won't give him the $5,000.
They are not going to give him anything.
And it's my fault.
What have you got to do with it?
Well.
Well, I got to thinking
about the thing today, see.
And I thought that maybe you would ..
That is, I thought maybe
you and I could ..
Well.
Well I figured out Amy, that
if I could help Joe out a little.
Maybe it would make me
look a little better.
Or that maybe you would ..
You see what I mean, don't you, Amy?
Go on, Aubrey.
Well .. I went to see his lawyers.
And I told them that I was ..
That Joe, he wouldn't
even think about $5,000.
That he had to have $100,000 down and
50% of the profits or the deal was off.
What did they say?
They said the deal was off.
I don't know what is the matter with me.
I don't seem able to put my hands on
anything without making a mess of it.
But I'm going to quit making a mess
of you and your family. I tell you that.
Where are you going, Aubrey?
- I don't know.
I'm going away from here. I know that.
I want you to forget all about me, Amy.
I want you to forget that I ever made
you cry or that I hurt your feelings.
But Aubrey, after all
it wasn't your fault ..
You meant it for the best.
Oh sure. I always mean it for the best.
But it just never works out. That's all.
If getting down on my knees to ask you
to forgive me would help, I would do it.
Honest I would. In a minute.
But that won't do any good.
I'm just all wrong.
Well, don't take it so hard, Aubrey.
- It's alright.
I'm not going to be a
burden to you any longer.
Goodbye.
Amy .. Amy!
He's found out about it. He'll kill me.
Well, I hope he does.
Amy .. oh hello Aubrey.
- Yes, Joe?
Wait until I tell you what's happened.
- What's happened to what?
Aubrey, you said I was getting cheated
if I took $5,000 for that invention.
Well, Mr Weitzenkorn called
me an about an hour ago.
You remember my telling
you about Mr Weitzenkorn?
Some such name as that, yes.
He asked me to come and
meet him at the McAlpine.
Said he didn't want to see me
in his office. - That's funny.
If you think that's funny, wait
until I tell you what happened.
He said his people had been thinking
things over and had new deal for me:
$50,000 down and 20% of the profits.
He had a check for $50,000 cash,
certified, right there with him.
Joe!
He said I had to take it
or leave it .. right there.
He said that was their final offer.
I had to make up my mind then and
there, without contacting my manager.
What did you do?
- What did I do? I took it!
Joesy, I think you could
have done better.
Oh, Aubrey ..
You know, part of this
dough is really yours.
Remember that time you told me you were
working on an invention to prevent rust?
To be applied to the
molten metal internally?
Did I tell you that?
- You sure did.
You were just forgetting what I told you
two weeks before, about my invention.
Only you got it all mixed up and said
"internally" instead of "externally".
The way I was going about it.
It was you getting it mixed up like
that, that put me on the right track.
Yes, now that you mention it, I remember
having an idea or two on that subject.
Can you imagine that? Mr Weitzenkorn
not wanting me to talk with my manager.
Why, I haven't even got a manager.
Oh, yes you have Joesy-boy.
Oh, yes you have.
I'm your manager.
Oh no, Aubrey. I think I
can handle this myself.
There you are. The confidence
of youth! How I envy you, Joesy.
If you really want to
know the truth, Joesy.
I saw Mr Weitzenkorn this afternoon and
believe me I told him a thing or two.
You didn't?
Yes he did, Joe. He was
just telling me about it.
I see it. You must have.
Oh Aubrey, I hand it to you.
Oh, that's nothing Joesy-boy.
That's nothing at all.
I just told him that I was
the head of the family.
What?
That I was the head of the family.
And that if he wanted to do business
with you, he must talk to me first.
I told him that I certainly wasn't going
to let him take advantage of your youth.
Didn't you get arrested?
- Who me?
Ma .. Aubrey did it all!
He's the manager Mr Weitzenkorn
was talking about.
Aubrey got them to raise the price.
Well I never.
Oh Aubrey, you're wonderful.
Isn't he, mother.
I guess so.
I just can't understand it, that's all.
Now Mumsy-Wumsy don't let it worry you.
Don't let it worry you for a minute.
You let the little old Jersey
kid take care of everything.
He'll see you through.
Say, you got a cigarette?
- Sure, Aubrey.
What you been doing, Aubrey?
- Nothing much. Nothing much, really.
Just been sort-of waiting around for
one or two things to kind-of gel.
By the way, is there mail for me?
Anything from the other place?
Well, there's some bills, Aubrey.
There's something from the Railway
Company, but just a circular, I think.
Never mind the bills, just give me the
letter from the Railroad Company.
What do you figure on doing, Aubrey?
- I don't know. I really don't know.
Have a look around. See what develops.
I may take a small flier on the markets.
I think the industrials are a little
lower than they should be.
Oh you think so, Aubrey?
- Yeah, yeah.
Maybe if you didn't mind, you and I ..
- Yeah, sure Joe, you bet.
We'll talk that over at the proper time.
Here you are, Aubrey.
- Thanks, thanks.
Well, what do you know about that?
About what, Aubrey?
A letter from J. B. Preston.
J.B. himself.
Are they going to prosecute you?
- Prosecute?
Wait until you hear this.
"My dear Mr Piper."
"It is evident to me now,
that at your birth .."
"A special God was detailed
to watch over you."
"Thus you will be interested
but I dare say not surprised .."
"To learn that the 900 acres of land .."
"You so stupidly and ignorantly
bought for the company .."
"Have been discovered to be the only
900 acres of land in that county .."
"Fit for intensive tobacco cultivation."
"That the state has decided
to so heavily subsidize."
"We could if we wish sell the land today
for five times what we paid for it."
"And as you phrased it, dear Mr Piper,
what this railroad needs is vision."
That's just the first paragraph.
You mean, there's more?
Plenty.
"It scarcely seems likely that we could
tempt you with any job short of my own."
"But begging your indulgence .."
"I am extremely anxious to keep
that job for a few more years myself."
"If however, any lesser
position should tempt you."
"I inform you we will be willing to kill
the fatted calf upon notice from you."
That is the second paragraph.
"You will never know how hard
it was for me to write this letter."
"Trusting that someday, in a moment of
weakness, you will tell me your secret."
"I beg to remain sincerely
yours .. J.B. Preston."
Then he's got "J.B." in parenthesis.
I'm going right out to telephone Pa.
0h Aubrey, it's too wonderful.
That's nothing, that's nothing. I knew
that old J.B. would come around in time.
Just a question of time.
After all, he's too big a man you know,
not to give in if he knows he's licked.
The idea of a crazy man like
that running a railroad.
Let me see that letter.
I can't believe it.
- There it is, in black and white.
Mrs Piper, do you know what I
want you to do tomorrow, huh?
I want you to go out and buy every
suit, coat and hat there is in Newark.
Yes, sir.
It's time for the prettiest girl in town
to have clothes that she ought to have.
With all that money it's a sure thing ..
Aubrey will be going from one
room to another in a Rolls Royce.
And darling, while you're about it, look
for a little house for us to live in.
Well Aubrey, I thought we could
stay with mother until you ..
Yeah.
That's awful nice of your mother, but I
don't think we need bother her anymore.
You know Preston lives out on Long
Island. They say it's nice out there.
Yeah, very nice. Maybe you
could find a place for us there?
That is, I don't mean too
little. I mean enough ground ..
Where maybe I can play a little tennis.
Aubrey!
Well, maybe we could let the
tennis go for a while, huh?
All I can say is, heaven
help me from now on.
Aubrey, I think you're wonderful.
- Oh, that's nothing.
This is just the start.
You know I wouldn't be at all
surprised if, with Preston's help ..
Within ten years we'll probably
control every railroad in the country.
To say nothing of Europe,
Asia and Africa.
You can't tell what will happen.
Just as long as you love me.
For ever and ever and ever.
Without Europe, Asia and Africa.
Just with you.
TG