The Snow Queen's Revenge (1996) Movie Script

[birds chirping]
[suspenseful music]
[Peeps] You're probably wondering who all these people are.
Well, this is Dimly.
And this little girl riding on his back is called Ellie,
and this is her brother Tom.
And that's me, Peeps.
And we're all coming back from the Snow Queen's palace,
because she kidnapped Tom.
And Ellie, and Dimly, and me, had to go and rescue him.
[clattering]
[Peeps] Just in the nick of time, too, if you ask me.
He'd gone a very funny blue color.
Anyway, hundreds of fantastically, amazing things happened to us.
And by the time we got back, it was practically spring.
Ellie, and me, and Dimly were pretty brave and fearless, and everything.
But we did have a tiny bit of help from the Snow Queen's trolls.
Not much, but a bit.
And from Freda, of course.
She runs the reindeer flying school
where Dimly is supposed to be learning to fly.
And she does bits of magic and stuff,
and she put a spell on the Snow Queen.
[ominous music]
[ominous music continues]
Come along, Dimly. Come along.
Where on earth has he got to?
That spell won't last forever, I should not think.
[foreboding music]
[Baggy] Hey! Watch it!
-Mind out! -[Eric] Mind out! Mind out!
[clatters]
I was beginning to think you had got lost, Dimly.
Well, um, as a matter of fact...
Come along. We have no time to waste.
A flying school doesn't run itself, you know? So, let's get--
Oh!
[zaps]
[yelling]
[grunts]
Can't you be more careful, Wardrobe?
That could come in very useful later, for something.
I'll bring it with us then, shall I, Eric?
[Freda] Please don't touch it, Wardrobe.
The Snow Queen staff has considerable power,
and you should keep well away from it.
[zaps]
Oh. All right then.
Now... Oh, dear me.
I hope you are not expecting poor old Dimly to carry all this lot.
He'll never get off the ground.
But this is all our necessities, all our personal accouterments.
-My lads can't be expected to-- -Well, I'm sorry.
You'll have to thin them out a bit or something.
I told you, Eric. I said it'll be too much.
Right then,
one of us will have to leave all this stuff behind.
You're the biggest, Wardrobe, so you--
It might be more sensible for you to take just one bag each.
And while you're deciding, Dimly can take me home.
It's the last day of term, and I really should be there.
Bye, all!
[all] Bye!
[thrums]
Excuse me, Freda.
Excuse me!
You dropped...
something.
And you!
Goodbye!
Right, let's get this lot sorted out.
But what about this thing, Eric?
She dropped this thing.
Well, I don't know!
Put it away and give it to the reindeer later.
Could I have a look at it, please, Wardrobe?
Certainly, Baggy.
-I should think it's most probably-- -I said later!
Now, can we please stop talking
and have a little cooperation around here?
-Cooperation? -Cooperation?
When it looks like trouble's winning
When your head Just won't stop spinning
When that good old-fashioned know-how Don't know how
You can make your dream work
If you use some teamwork
And there's no better time than now
Try a little harmony
One for all and all for three
I believe your cup's half empty Not half full
It's a well-known fact
That when you form a pact
Instead of being pushed around You've got some pull
[all] Cooperation
Cooperation
It's the topper To the proper operation
Cooperation
Cooperation
Congregations
Corporations
Every one of my relations
A horrible thought.
[all] All confirm What history has shown
When you're together
- You are never on your... -[Wardrobe] Own
[all] Cooperation
Cooperation
It's the topper To the proper operation
Cooperation
Cooperation
Congregations
Corporations
All right, one of my relations
Still one, too many.
[all] All come down What history has shown
When you're together
- You are never on your... - Own
[all] For your information
Just a small collaboration
Can display cooperation at its best
Cooperation
[bats screech]
[suspenseful music]
[ominous music]
[birds chirping]
[calm music]
[all snoring]
[yawns]
Morning, Ellie. Isn't it a fantastic day?
Shh!
What?
We're trying not to wake Tom.
Grandma has made him stay in bed after his adventure,
and given him one of her secret herbal folk remedies.
Poor, old Tom.
She says, he'll sleep all day.
Then he'll either get better,
-or his head will fall off. -Really?
No.
The snow seems to be melting.
So I thought I'd go and see if there are any snowdrops
to pick to put beside his bed. Coming?
Well, actually I've, I've got some pretty important things to do, really.
Uh, got a bit behind,
what with helping you at the North Pole and everything,
but, well, I suppose I can put them off until later.
Good. Come on then.
[Eric] No, Baggy, no. Completely and absolutely, definitely not.
You are not bringing them things with us on that reindeer.
What are they, anyway?
[Baggy] It's my Super Troll Construction Kit.
You can make ever so many things with it.
Oh, that'll be handy, won't, Eric?
No, it will not and you're not bringing it.
Aw.
And stop fiddling with that thing, Wardrobe.
You're becoming very irritating.
Sorry, Eric.
Where is it we're exactly going, Eric, on this reindeer?
Dimly.
On Dimly, Eric.
Anywhere. We could go anywhere we like, lads.
The world is our bowl of cherries.
Oh, gosh.
Trouble is, we don't know anybody, do we?
I mean, we can't go and stay with anyone or anything, can we?
'Cause we don't know them.
But where are we going to live?
We've got to have somewhere to live.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Trolls are supposed to be brave and fearless.
Where's your sense of adventure?
Adventure?
Uh, we're not gonna have an adventure, aren't we?
Adventure. Excitement.
A leap into the great unknown.
We shall be trolls of fortune.
Wandering the world willy-nilly, staring opportunity in the face.
Oh, I don't think we'd like that, Eric.
[ominous music]
[Eric] Well, let's set the lot then.
-Yes, Eric. -Yes, Eric.
[both gasp]
-[clock chimes] -[clattering]
Well, thank you very much.
[grunts]
And about time, too.
Uh, I'm ever so sorry.
Uh, I'm not very good at landing. I do hope I haven't damaged anything,
and I'm... I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long.
Only, I'm afraid I got a bit, uh, lost.
Personally, on a fault, and a palace with 2,000 rooms,
is a bit difficult to miss, but here we are.
Wardrobe, Baggy, get loading this reindeer!
[whimsical music]
And how many more times do I have to tell you
to put that thing away, Wardrobe?
I should take it off of you in a minute.
Sorry, Eric.
[whimsical music]
[foreboding music]
[thrumming]
[ice cracking]
[snarling]
[zaps]
You all right?
Well, it is getting a tiny, little bit heavy.
One more and we'll be off.
[growling]
[all gasp]
[ominous music]
[growls]
What are you doing?
Oh, Your Majesty.
Uh, how lovely, how, uh, completely wonderful to see you! We--
I repeat, what are you doing?
Oh, yes, well, we was just, point of fact,
just capturing a reindeer for your, Your Majesty, Your Majesty
Yes!
We kept him talking.
And then, we flew all these cases and boxes and everything onto him
to trap him, Your Majesty.
Where's the girl?
What girl?
Oh, the girl!
She unfortunately escaped, Your Majesty.
With her brother.
Mmm. So, this reindeer may be useful.
-An amusing little revenge perhaps? -[teeth chattering]
This girl has interfered with my plans
and seriously inconvenienced me.
She will pay!
She will pay with her life.
What an excellent idea, Your Majesty.
-Shall we-- -No!
The spring thaw is starting.
We must leave for my palace at the South Pole immediately.
Oh, yes, indeed, Your Majesty.
How time flies. [chuckling]
Are you all right? I'm not squashing you, am I?
No, we're fine, thanks.
Only, I know I'm a bit heavy,
and we are quite, sort of, crunched up, aren't we?
I heard about somebody, once,
who could crunch himself up so small,
he could fit into a jam jar.
-Really? -Yeah.
I never actually saw it myself,
but I bet you, it was true.
[thrumming]
[Snow Queen] Rejoice, fools.
Spring is coming.
Enjoy the blossoming hedge rose,
the green grass,
the pretty flowers.
See how the sun shines when the sky is blue,
but not for long.
[laughing]
Not for long.
[cackling]
[thunder cracking]
Soon they'll see, the power in me
Their fate will be my say
Wrapped in ice
A paradise
A pretty price they'll pay
I will dress the world up in crystal
What a world to behold
I cannot be defeated
I'm the queen of cold
What a sight
All painted white
Sealed uptight and mine
I'll come to call
And snow will fall
Like shivers down your spine
This time I won't be silenced
I've got a tale to be told
Just in case you've forgotten
I'm the queen of the cold
[ominous music]
[screeches]
[thunder cracks]
-[Eric] Give me that. -Hey!
[Baggy] That was really mean, that was, Eric.
[blabbering]
[splashes]
[thrumming]
[Peeps] What's this then?
Hmm? Money?
[Snow Queen] Ah.
There you are.
I have a little surprise for you, my pretty child.
[mumbling]
[wind howling]
[gasps] The Snow Queen!
We meet again, my dear.
And I have something that may interest you.
[sobbing]
[Snow Queen] Aw.
[laughing]
Peeps!
Peeps, come quickly.
What's the matter?
That's Dimly.
I haven't quite decided what to do with him yet,
but you may rest assure, that it will be something creative.
[cackling]
Oh!
This is outrageous!
Absolutely outrageous! How dare she do that to poor old Dimly!
Hmm. Freda's spell didn't last all that long, did it?
What can we do?
Do? How do you mean?
Well, we've got to help him somehow, haven't we?
We can't just leave him there, can we?
Well, no, I suppose not, but what were you thinking of doing then?
We'll just have to go to the North Pole and rescue him, that's all.
Oh, not again.
You're surely not gonna go to the North Pole again, I mean...
Anyway, he won't be there, she'll have taken him with her.
-Where to? -Well, the North Pole
gets too warm in the spring,
and she goes off somewhere and I don't know where, so...
I'm afraid we shan't be able to go and rescue poor, old Dimly.
[stammers] Unfortunately.
Peeps, if you don't think of someone who'll know where she's gone
within five minutes, I'll never speak to you again.
[foreboding music]
[thrumming]
[Pearl] All I'm saying is, she'll not notice.
You'll get no thanks, no appreciation, that's all I'm saying.
Oh, I'm sure she notices.
She does not say much, I grant you, but I'm sure she notices.
You're a fool to yourself, Elspeth, really you are.
You'll do yourself a damage, the way you carry on with that mop.
And for what?
Well, I think it's a great honor serving royalty, I really do.
And I'm sure she appreciates all our efforts
-even if she does not show it. -[Pearl scoffs]
Well, this is the last year I'm doing this, I tell you.
If her ever-so-wonderful Majesty
wants to spend the summer at the South Pole next year,
she can clean her own palace.
Oh, Pearl.
What a lovely life we lead
What more could a penguin need?
It's a fact, I love my work
I do
[Pearl] I believe you're serious
Poor girl, you're delirious
For in fact, our work is never through
Oh, isn't it a shame?
I would go without pay
- Every day is the same - Each day is a new day
- What's a girl to do? - So much to do here
You haven't got a clue
It's all so clear
- Oh, yes - Oh, no
- Can't wait - Can't go
- Can't count on sleep - Try counting sheep
[both] We're penguins of the palace Maids of honor
It would be a travesty
If we missed Her Majesty
Always be alert, that's my advice
Must we bring the Queen up?
It only means more cleanup
How much more can you shine A floor of ice?
Work is all we do
That's loyalty
- Loyalty to who? - To royalty
- Ask me if I care - I relish all
- Life is so unfair - That's protocol
- I'm hooked - Resist
- What fun - We missed
My dreams come true
My nightmare too
[both] We're penguins of the palace Maids of honor
[grunting]
[ominous music]
Oh, yay!
[roaring]
Take my reindeer and that animal,
and put them down in the stables.
[both] Yes, Your Majesty.
[both] At once, Your Majesty.
At once, Your Majesty, yes.
-[lock clicks] -[door opens]
[lock clicks]
-[growling] -It's not very nice in here, is it?
Don't worry, lad, you'll get used to it.
[both gnarl]
Just don't go near them things. Vicious, they are, vicious.
Eat anything. Have your leg off as soon as they look at you.
I don't think this is a very kind thing to do to a friend, Eric, do you?
I mean, it's... Well, not very kind, is it?
Not very kind at all.
Not to a friend.
Well, well, well,
I had no idea you boys were so sensitive.
First off, you've only known him five minutes,
so he hardly qualifies as a friend.
And second off, perhaps you'd like to go and explain to Her Majesty
that you don't think she's being very kind
to a person, what is after all, only a reindeer.
Oh, Eric! How can you say such a thing?
Morally reprehensible, that's what that is.
Well, I'm very sorry,
but it's not like he was a troll or anything.
And anyway, it's Her Majesty's orders,
so there's not a lot we can do about it, is there?
[snarling]
Oh, dear.
[Snow Queen] Now, before the main task,
where is that child?
[Peeps] You'll really like her, she's a Wally Bird.
-[Ellie] A what? -A Wally Bird.
And she's amazing.
She knows everything, absolutely everything. Any subject.
History, geography, potholing.
People come to her all the time to ask things.
Well, as long as she knows where the Snow Queen goes in the summer,
I'm not all that bothered about anything else.
No, no, all right. I'm just saying that if you did want to know anything else,
you've only got to ask her, and she'll tell you.
Just like that. Amazing.
[Brenda chuckling]
What's that noise?
That's her! That's Brenda.
[upbeat music playing]
[Peeps] When she was Still inside the shell
She had a tale to tell
And she could tell it well
The more she grew, the more she knew
And judging by her size
You can see why she's so wise
If you need some information
She's a source of inspiration
And the thought of her Not knowing is absurd
So, it's only fair to warn you
She'll enlighten and inform you
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
Just as sure As the sun sets in the east
I know the most, to say the least
I can soothe the savage beast
My rhyming shows when I write prose
And I know the sum, in fact
Of any quotient I subtract
[both] She can lecture on the history
Of every nationality
In languages You've probably never heard
And when it comes to their location
She'll point out your destination
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
She's the princess of pontification
Good man, the word's obliteration.
I stand corrected.
When it comes to all the scholars In the world, she's preferred
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
-In a word -In a word
-I'm your bird -She's your bird
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
-In a word -In a word
I'm your bird
She's your bird
She's your bird
Peeps, my dear, how are you?
I can't tell you how busy I've been this morning.
Run off my feet,
queues of people, queues.
"Where is this?" and "What's that?"
[sighs] I sometimes wonder how I cope
with all these questions.
But I supposed they have to have someone they could ask,
someone to solve life's little problems for them.
[chuckles]
Now, who is this nice young lady?
A friend of yours?
This is Ellie. Ellie, Brenda.
How do you do?
Just visiting, are you, dear?
Or did you come to ask me a question?
To ask you a question, actually.
If you don't mind.
Of course not, my dear. Of course not.
That's what I'm here for.
Nothing too difficult, mind. I've had a busy morning.
So anything more complicated than two and two make five
may have to wait.
-Two and two-- -Yes, dear. Five.
Oh. Yes, well.
It was just, I wondered whether you knew where the Snow Queen goes in the spring.
Peeps said she leaves the North Pole because it's too warm there.
Well, that's an easy one.
She goes to the South Pole.
She's got another palace down there,
on the edge of a volcano. It's quite picturesque, actually.
And what would be the best way to get to it?
Oh, no.
You don't have to come if you don't want to.
I can easily go on my own.
But somebody's got to rescue poor, old Dimly.
Oh, dear.
Got hold of a friend of yours, has she?
That could be nasty, very nasty. [whimpers]
You see? I'll have to go.
All right, all right, please yourself.
If you want to die a horrible and lingering death in a very cold place,
well, I suppose that's your affair.
But how am I going to get there?
Well, you could go due south.
Turn left at the mountain,
follow the river along until you get to the desert.
Then go southeast, all the way, until you see the sea.
Over that, and there you are.
Or, I could fly you there, if you like.
It'll do me good to have an outing.
Would you? Would you, really?
Comfortable?
Yes, thanks, Brenda.
Now, are you sure you're not coming?
Oh, all right then.
[suspenseful music]
[Ellie exhales]
That was a bit nerve-racking.
You see, she can't takeoff from the ground,
so she has to run over the cliff.
Must be very inconvenient.
[Peeps] Look, are you sure this is a good idea?
[ominous music]
-[zaps] -[cracks]
[rumbles]
Beautiful! Beautiful!
You shall be my greatest creation.
What's she doing, Eric?
How do I know?
I hope she's not making another mirror.
We had a lot of trouble with that last one. Remember?
We broke it.
-We did. -Well, I have no doubt
that Her Majesty will be acquainting you with the entire facts,
vis--vis whatever it is that she's making in the fullness of time.
Do you think so?
Well, we'll have to operate it for a start, won't we?
And clean it.
[clacking]
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
I wish someone would come.
It makes such a nice change for me to be able to get out, you know?
-It can be such a strain being an oracle. -[Ellie] An oracle?
Someone who knows everything.
Yes, I know. I meant--
Some of the things they ask me,
well, you'd hardly credit it.
The wind.
"Where does the wind come from," they ask me.
They don't notice all the trees waving around, do they?
[chuckles] A really big thing like a tree,
whooshing about,
is bound to cause wind.
-But they don't know... -See, she's brilliant. Brilliant!
Actually, I don't--
"Where do the stars come from," they say.
-Peeps. -What?
Are you sure we're going the right way?
I mean, Brenda is terribly kind, and helpful, and everything, but...
well, she did say two and two make five, didn't she? And well...
I just wonder if she's right about where the Snow Queen is.
Course, she's right.
Course, she is. She is always right.
Except perhaps with adding up.
Anyway, it's all a matter of opinion.
Two and two making four, Peeps, is not a matter of opinion.
Oh, well, I suppose you're right.
But she's jolly clever, otherwise.
I'm hungry, anyone brought anything to eat?
-[Brenda] No, dear. -No, sorry.
Why don't we look out for some houses or something?
Then we can land and ask them to sell us some food.
Well, it'll have to be somewhere on the edge of a cliff,
-or we'll never get off the ground again. -Look!
Down there.
[cleaver scraping]
Come on. Come on. Come on.
You're supposed to be having ideas, making intelligent suggestions.
How can I become the most famous and successful chef in the world...
[snorts]
...if all we serve is egg and chips?
I'm a artiste.
A visionary.
I'm sensitive!
All I need is one tiny suggestion
to spark off my creative genius.
Now one of you must have an idea.
-No. -No.
Oh, you're useless. Useless!
Of all the half-witted, bean-brained morons,
I don't pay you to--
Actually, you don't pay us, actually.
Not that I remember anyway.
Well, if I did,
it wouldn't be to stand around here all day looking vacant.
So, think!
Think!
Look, Peeps. Look!
It's a restaurant.
Isn't that amazing?
Right.
Let's see what sort of food they've got.
Not for me, dear.
I had far too much millet for breakfast.
I think I'll just go and have a little nap under that tree.
Wake me up when you want to leave.
Come on. I'm starving.
[Ellie] We'll see you later then.
Quick! Customers.
What?
A Wally Bird!
Of course.
Uh, no. I think it's a little girl.
[Proprietor] Under the tree, you oaf, a Wally Bird.
A rare and exotic culinary delicacy.
An interesting sauce or two,
a soupon of je ne sais quoi,
and they'd come for miles.
My reputation would soar.
They'd be beating down the doors of our restaurant.
I'd be a star overnight. [chuckling]
Go and get it.
-[screams] -[plates clattering]
Hello?
Ah. Good morning, madam and, uh...
-Hello. -Sir.
Please, come in.
[Ellie] Thank you.
We were wondering if we could have something to eat.
Of course, madam. Of course!
It'd be my pleasure.
Do take a seat.
I believe they're just writing out the menus now.
We have something rather special today.
I bet they don't have birdseed.
They might.
I bet they don't. These posh sort of places never do.
When have you ever been in a posh restaurant?
Well, uh, I haven't. But I mean, you hear these things, don't you?
It'll be, "Oh, there you are, sir.
You'll have to make do with a dollop of caviar and a couple of oysters."
-[retches] -[laughs]
Don't worry.
I'm sure she'll find you something suitable.
She seems very pleasant, doesn't she?
[screams]
[grunting]
[Proprietor] Here we are, madam.
I think this will impress you.
It includes braised Wally Bird.
[both gasp]
Yeah. I said you'd be impressed. [chuckles]
[laughs]
A great rarity as I'm sure you know.
Served with catnip and Cointreau sauce
on a bed of pured hogweed.
I'll leave you to make your choice.
[Ellie] It looks just like Brenda.
[clattering]
[Ellie] She's gone!
[Peeps] Yes. So why don't we go, too?
I don't suppose the food's
-all that good. -Go?
We can't go. They're going to cook her!
Look, don't you think you could fight down this urge to rescue people all the time?
I mean, I should think that waitress person
-could get pretty nasty if she-- -Come on!
[Brenda whimpering]
[Ellie gasps]
[Ellie] There you are. See!
Oh! This is horrible. Horrible!
-I can't bear to look. -I've got an idea.
Waiters!
Minions!
This shall be my finest moment.
Bring me a cleaver and a spatula.
I will now concoct a culinary creation
to stir the imagination
with lip-smacking salivation. [slurps]
I can see it all so clear
The pinnacle of my career
The accolades will never cease
When I cook
My masterpiece
I'll begin with a fowl fondue
While I baste the bird In a seasoned goo
And I'll fry the fat In a vat of grease
When I cook my masterpiece
[all] Coddled and coated With tenderizer
She'll be soft and juicy And none the wiser
Something exciting and new
That will make your mouth water
Long after you're through
[all] No need to worry No need to think twice
You'll sleep permanently On a warm bed of rice
But I will be well on my way
To being worldly renowned
As the grunting gourmet
[all squealing]
[coughing]
It's showtime
Let's begin
[chuckles]
I think you'll lose because look
I win
Like my reputation
My size will increase
When I cook
My masterpiece
When I cook
My masterpiece
[all] Let's cook
[pigs snorting]
Right.
Go around the back and make a diversion.
-A what? -Go make a noise.
Shout at them or something. Make them run after you.
[yells] No fear, thank you very much.
Make them run after me?
[scoffs] I'm young. I've got plans for the future.
If you don't, you'll have to explain to everybody
that it's your fault that Brenda got eaten
and they won't have anybody to give them advice anymore.
Oh, yes. Right. That's a point.
Go! Go!
[Peeps] Hey! Uh, uh, stop that!
Uh, Stop that you, you, you...
you, uh, horrible restaurant people.
-I'll call the police. -[clamoring]
Really, I'll call the police.
This is illegal, you know. I will, I will...
I'll have you arrested.
And, uh, what else?
Uh, and put in prison!
Kill him!
[Proprietor] Get him!
[creaks, crashes]
[groaning]
Well, get after them. Get after them.
Don't just sit there like a crate of wet lettuces!
-[engine sputtering] -Here we go.
-Oh, no. -We're going to die. We're going to die.
We are going to die. We are now going to die.
[engine starts]
[engine revving]
[heroic music]
[suspenseful music]
[car crashing]
Ha! I reckon we did pretty well there, don't you?
You certainly did.
That was just so wonderful.
You saved my life.
And you were so brave and clever.
Oh, don't mention it.
Ellie and me are used to rescuing people.
We do it quite often, actually.
[Snow Queen] She's on her way.
[laughing]
But I have more important things to attend to.
[thrumming]
[Baggy] He's looking very peaky, you know.
Very peaky.
It's a bit worrying.
I think he's pining.
[Wardrobe] You're right, Baggy.
He's pining.
Perhaps we should go to the Snow Queen and tell her, and ask her to let him out.
You'll do no such thing.
Why not?
Because, Wardrobe, she would not listen.
And she would also probably do you a severe violence
-into the bargain. -[Wardrobe] Oh.
Well, I think we should try, and I'm going to ask her.
No! No, come back!
[gate clacking]
[both snarling]
[zapping]
She seems a bit busy.
[Wardrobe] Still making that thing.
Will you two come out of here? At once!
Silence!
[zaps]
[retreating footsteps]
My mother had the gift, too, you know?
Most of my female relations have it, actually.
Aunts, sisters, all of them.
And do we talk when we get together.
[chuckles]
Not me so much, of course. I always prefer to listen.
You can learn a lot by listening to others.
And naturally, being in the oracle business,
the more you know the better, really.
My mother always used to say to me,
that if you have the gift, if,
it is your duty to use it to serve others...
[splashes]
Help!
-Help! -Help!
-Help! -Help!
[ship whistle toots]
Well, don't just stand there, Rowena.
Give me a hand.
You do realize, Clive, that this will be two more mouths to feed.
[Clive] I shouldn't think they eat very much, they're not very big.
-There we go, miss. -[Ellie and Peeps coughing]
Are you all right?
A bit soggy, that's all.
Put this on.
Thanks.
Jolly lucky we came along, eh?
Now, what can we offer you?
-Some-- -They'll have had their supper
I expect, Clive.
-Well, as a matter of fact... -Jolly good.
You don't happen to have any birdseed lying about, I suppose?
Afraid not. Sorry.
[Ellie] This is a very...
uh, unusual sort of boat.
This, young lady,
is the S.S. Quagmire.
[both] We're the crew Of the S.S. Quagmire
We're in search Of the riches of the sea
But all we ever find
Is rubbish left behind
As we sail the seas
In search of something free
We're the crew of the S.S. Quagmire
We can spare a cup of tea
But not much more
For if memory serves us right
Our payload's rather light
And we don't know what the future
Holds in store
I see.
What an interesting life.
And you two, how did you come to be...
floating about in the briny?
Well, it's a bit complicated to explain.
But we were on our way to the Snow Queen's palace at the South Pole--
[Peeps] She has captured a friend of ours, and we're gonna rescue him.
It'll be the second one we've rescued today as a matter of fact.
Now, why would she capture your friend?
Just naturally mean and evil, I expect.
Have you, perhaps, annoyed her?
-Uh, well, yes. I suppose we-- -[Rowena] So...
She could be trying to entice you to her palace...
-for some reason? -[gasps]
Crikey! That's it! Of course, she is.
She's trying to get revenge on us.
She's luring us into her vile clutches
so she can, she can...
oh, do something to us.
Well, if she is, we'll just have to be especially on our guard.
You certainly will. [chuckles]
[stammers] Now, why don't you go into the cabin,
and we'll fetch you a nice cup of tea.
Thank you.
[door creaks]
Shh!
Now that we know That they're wanted by royalty
There bound to see a big change In our loyalty
Being the captain I have the authority
To make delivery a major priority
[squawks]
[both] A change of career We were destined to see
So bounty hunters are we
We're the crew of the S.S. Quagmire
As king and queen
We will wear the Quagmire crown
So I would say it's safe to bet
We'll take the most that we can get
We'll always have a hand out For a hand-me-down
S.S. Quagmire
Sail away
Fortune is staring us in the face, Clive.
Well, might be a bit dangerous, you know?
Oh, stop being so negative. You're always so negative.
The Snow Queen wants them,
we deliver them, she gives us a reward.
A big reward. Simple.
I am not being negative, Rowena.
I am merely pointing out that anyone who comes
within striking distance of the Snow Queen
is likely to get the chop.
You're spineless! You're completely spineless.
Negative and spineless.
Perhaps, it has not occurred to you, dearest,
that trying to extort money
from a ruthless and powerful homicidal maniac
might be a bit dodgy.
I see.
Suddenly, you're not interested in money anymore.
Of course, I'm interested in money!
I'd just like to live long enough to enjoy it!
It's just amazing how nobody has ever got any birdseed.
Poor old Peeps.
Are you really hungry?
Yes, and I think I might even start to feel faint in a minute.
Oh, dear.
-[door opens] -Here we are, tea up.
[Ellie] Oh, lovely.
Thank you.
[hammering]
What's all that noise?
-What noise? -[clattering]
Oh, uh...
Yes, that's just general ship's noise.
All ships make noises, you know?
The... the creak of the mast, the...
-[Clive shrieks] -[thuds]
...uh, crashing of the engine.
The...
[wood cracks]
...noise of the cargo.
We, sailors, get used to it, of course.
[stammers] Hardly notice it after a while.
It stopped.
Ah, then why don't I give you a little tour of the boat.
I'm sure you'd be interested. You can finish your tea later.
Yes, come along.
After you.
That way.
Thank you.
[screams]
[clacking]
Gotcha!
-[clicks] -What do you think you're doing?
-Let us out! -Hey!
[Ellie] Let us out!
Let us out, please!
Oh, please, let us out! Please!
-[Peeps] Help! -Pretty nifty bit of footwork there.
-If I do say so myself. -[Peeps] Help!
-Help! -[Ellie] Let us out!
-Let us out, please! -Is that cage the best you could do?
It seems perfectly adequate to me.
Course, if you'd say, I could have added a couple of rugs and a pot plant.
Well, it doesn't look very strong.
-Help! -Let us out!
-Help! -Let us out, please!
It's perfectly strong enough for those two.
[Peeps] Help!
Right, we'll go and change course for the South Pole.
-[Ellie] Please! -[Peeps] Help!
[Snow Queen] Well, well.
Such adventures you're having, my dear, such adventures.
I look forward to seeing you very, very soon.
And now, the finishing touches.
[ominous music]
[zapping]
[ominous music]
[zapping]
[screeches]
Ah!
Beautiful! Beautiful!
[Baggy] She's still busy then.
Obviously, a major project.
[Eric] That's an Iceosaurus there.
How do you know?
It's in one of Wardrobe's books,
Junior Trolls Book of 1,000 Interesting Facts.
And I think you'll find that when that's finished,
that will be able to freeze things with its eyes, that will.
-Will it? -Yeah, big things.
Whole rivers, and towns, and that.
Oh.
Morning, boys.
[all] Morning, Elspeth.
Good morning.
[all] Good morning, Pearl.
[Pearl] Why she has to bring them trolls with her, I can't think.
They're all right, they're quite nice, really.
They're not.
They're messy, and untidy, and inconsiderate.
And you smiling at them all the time is not gonna improve matters.
[Elspeth] Oh, Pearl.
I don't smile at them all the time,
I just like to be pleasant, that's all.
[Pearl scoffs]
[growling]
[Elspeth] Oh, look.
-A new reindeer. -[Dimly clears throat]
Excuse me.
Please, could you help me?
It speaks.
Uh, yes, uh, sorry.
[Elspeth] Well, there's a thing.
They don't usually speak, do they, Pearl?
Elspeth!
Hobnobbing with the livestock will not get the kettle boiled.
I'm coming, I'm coming!
I was only saying they don't usually speak, do they?
Not usually.
-Could you please... -Sorry, dear. Tea break.
[gate clacking]
[cracks]
[gasps]
Help!
[whimpering]
Now, I won't be able to land here because it's all flat,
apart from the volcano, of course,
so I'll... I'll sort of swoop low,
and you can jump off. All right?
All right?
[gasps]
Oh!
Surely, she must have noticed that we've fallen off by now.
Oh, bound to, by now.
Yes, she's probably on her way back to rescue us right this minute.
I shouldn't wonder...
Probably.
There she is!
[Peeps] I told you! Brenda!
Yoo-hoo! We're here!
Peeps, be quiet.
We don't want to attract attention from down there, do we?
Oh, sorry.
[tense music]
[crashes]
Hey!
What's going on?
[Rowena grunts]
They've escaped! Get them!
-Get them! -Don't be stupid!
How am I supposed to get them?
-I can't fly. -[Rowena] It's all your fault.
You're useless, useless!
If you'd repaired the mast properly,
-it would-- -My fault?
And whose crackpot idea was it
to sell them to the Snow Queen in the first place?
We could have made a fortune, a fortune!
And now, thanks to your fumbling ineptitude,
and total incompetence,
we've lost them!
You're completely futile!
Oh, well, that's a bit rich,
coming from someone with the brains of a carrot.
Don't you speak to me like that!
Mommy was right about you!
She could see you were hopeless and she tried to warn me.
But, of course, I wouldn't listen, I wouldn't listen.
Oh, the folly of it, the folly! I could have...
[Rowena blabbering]
Now hang on, I'm going to try and land.
Well, here we are.
It's no good, I can't do it.
I'll have to go into the Snow Queen's palace
and see if I can find something.
Won't that be a bit, you know, dangerous?
Well, if we don't get you out of there,
you're going to freeze to death, aren't you?
So I'd best be going.
They must have kitchens, or workshops, or something.
All I would need is a pair of pliers.
[Ellie] Good luck!
[rumbling]
[grumbling]
[screeching]
[ominous music]
[screeching]
[zapping]
[both gasp]
Poor Brenda.
[zapping]
[Iceosaurus screeches]
[zapping]
[Peeps] We're going to die!
This is the end!
We shall never see our friends and relations again.
Our lifeless bodies will lie in the vast frozen wastes forever.
[sobbing]
I said, our lifeless bodies will--
I know, I heard you.
Well, aren't you gonna say something encouraging?
Have a good idea, that sort of thing?
No, sorry, not this time.
[Snow Queen laughing]
My word, what an exciting day you're having, my dear.
Eric!
Yes, Your Majesty.
Here, Your Majesty.
Take a sledge, go down to the foot of the volcano
where you will find a cage with two occupants.
Bring it to me. Now!
[Ellie] I'm sorry I dragged you into this, Peeps.
Oh, that's all right.
-Don't mention it. -I've got us into this trouble,
and now I can't get us out.
-Oh, if only Freda was here. -Yes.
She'd be bound to know what to do.
[thrumming]
-What's that? -What?
Your hat is glowing.
Oh, it's a thing I found in a puddle.
-It sort of fell out of the sky. -[Ellie] Freda!
It's Freda! Look, Peeps!
[Ellie] Oh.
-She's gone. -Well, that wasn't much use, was it?
I thought at least she was gonna rescue us.
[tinkling]
I think she is going to rescue us.
[wood creaking]
[clacks]
Now, Brenda.
I wonder how it works.
[thrums]
[Peeps] A pepper pot?
What good's that?
I bet it probably only works once, or else it's gone wrong or...
Oh!
[grunts]
Oh, my word.
Oh, that's better.
Thank you, dear.
Right, home time, off we go.
[Ellie] Oh, no, we don't.
We have to find Dimly.
[Peeps] I suppose you realize
that Dimly almost probably have escaped by now,
and us going up there and throwing ourselves into deadly danger
will all be a complete waste of time.
-And how are we going to-- -Peeps.
-What? -Please be quiet.
[Brenda] This has been the most exciting experience of my life,
it really has.
I knew it would be a good idea to get out and about.
And all this new information
is being stored away in the brain box, you know? Oh, yes.
Now, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you here
because I'll have to climb up the crater
to find a handy place to take off from.
When we've rescued Dimly,
we'll fly out on his back and meet you in the air.
Righty-o!
See you later.
[Peeps] And another thing, there'll be guards,
there'll be, there'll be, there'll be huge ice monsters, most probably,
with, with poisonous teeth,
-and staring eyes, and great-- -[knocks]
-Yes? -We...
Um...
We've come to inspect the stables.
Certainly not, go away!
Wave Freda's thing at her, go on.
We're not allowed to let strangers in. I'm ever so sorry.
Perhaps if you were to write and ask Her Majesty.
-Go on. -I'm very sorry,
but I'm afraid I must insist.
[thrumming]
[screams]
[both whimpering]
[Elspeth] Help me!
Help!
[yells]
[growls]
[Ellie] This way!
[evil reindeer growling]
[Ellie grunts]
[thrums]
[lock clicking]
[gasps]
[wood cracking]
[tense music]
[door creaks]
[growls]
Na-na-na-na-na!
Ah!
That way!
[heroic music]
[Ellie] Hooray! We've escaped. We've done it!
There you are.
[Peeps] Three cheers for us!
Hip-hip...
Help!
What's the matter?
-Dimly, what's the matter? -I'm sorry.
It's just that I feel so weak.
I knew it! I knew it!
-Didn't I say this was-- -[Ellie] Be quiet, Peeps.
Oh, you must try, Dimly. Please try.
I... I can't.
I can't.
[zapping]
Come on, Dimly, you can do it!
[zapping]
Whoa!
[zapping]
[Iceosaurus screeching]
[all gasp]
-[Peeps] It's... It's that thing! -[Iceosaurus screeching]
[zapping]
[screeching]
[zapping]
[screeching]
[crackling]
[zapping]
[crackling]
[zapping]
[screeching]
[suspenseful music]
[Iceosaurus screeching]
-[hisses] -[explosion]
[rumbling]
[foreboding music]
[rumbling]
[screaming]
Ah!
[groaning]
[yells]
[foreboding music]
[rumbling]
[crashing]
[hissing]
[tense music]
[rumbling]
[screams]
[rumbling]
Oh, look. It's Dimly.
It looks as if he might have escaped, doesn't it, Eric?
It strikes me, lads,
that a quick reascertainment of our future employment prospectuses
might be in order.
[explosion]
[rumbling]
[explosion]
There's gonna be ever such a mess to clear up, Pearl.
Well, don't look at me.
My terms of employment specifically say,
"No ironing and no heavy work."
[rumbling]
[Peeps] Course, I knew it'd be all right in the end,
what with Brenda and Freda.
I mean, it was bound to be, wasn't it?
[suspenseful music]
[upbeat music]
She can lecture on the history
Of every nationality
In languages You've probably never heard
And when it comes to their location
She'll point out your destination
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
She's the princess of pontification
Good man, the word's obliteration.
I stand corrected.
When it comes to all the scholars In the world, she's preferred
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
-In a word -In a word
-I'm your bird -She's your bird
-In a word -In a word
-She's your bird -She's your bird
-In a word -In a word
- I'm your bird - She's your bird
She's your bird
She's your bird