The Swan Princess: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today! (2016) Movie Script
1
No.
-Meat.
-Meat.
Meat. Meat.
Meat!
Meat.
That was close.
Meat!
You've been chasing ghosts again.
It was different this time, Nums.
What? Where's the baa-baa?
You ate the whole thing?
-He didn't eat it.
-Who then? You? You?
-Let me smell your breath.
-Fool!
There was no baa-baa!
It was just a sound, like all the rest.
But we saw this one, Nums.
Oh, really? What color was it? How tall?
There are no more meat things.
We ate them all!
Which is something I warned you all about.
And now they're gone, aren't they?
-Then what makes those sounds?
-What makes the grass move?
Ghosts. Ghosts of the meat things
we've eaten before.
They haunt us.
There are no more...
Say it, Nums.
No more baa-baas!
-Baa-baas!
-No more cockle-doos!
-Cockle-doos!
-No more snort-snorts or moo-moos!
Snort-snorts. Moo-moos.
No more meat, all extinct
Look what we've done
Used to eat fleshy treats
Now we have none
Cockle-doos, all are through
No more moo-moos
Can't get by, losing my mind
What can we do
You see, look at us.
This is why
we don't say "moo-moos" or "cockle-doos"!
Or "pink bellies"?
Yes, pink bellies.
-Pink bellies!
-Ten fleshy fingers.
And ten fleshy toes.
Tender necks, tasty tummies, meaty legs...
Meaty, tasty pink bellies!
Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!
But maybe someday...
Someday soon.
-Bye!
-Goodbye!
-We love you, Alise!
-I love you, too!
It's okay, Queen Uberta.
They'll be back by summer's end.
Yes!
I don't get it.
Derek and Odette are going to
spend the whole summer helping people?
Papa says that's what
being a real prince is all about.
What a hippie.
I'm gonna miss them.
So, what's first? Build a fort? Play tag?
Not tag.
I'm sorry, Alise,
but General Puffin has a castle to guard.
-As you were.
-I wish.
Bad cannon!
Well done, Bridgit.
Now we've got everything we need
for Sailor Boot Camp!
Sailor Boot Camp!
Alise will be the perfect student.
And to think
I've got her to myself all summer!
I can't wait to begin!
But before Alise arrives,
a quick review of my sailor proverbs.
"To find a new world, or your way home,
"a sailor must know the stars by heart!"
Stars by heart!
A sailor must also know his ropes.
"You may break your ship on a reef
"if you raise the lugsail
when you mean to raise the mainsail."
Know your ropes!
Know your ropes!
"To avoid becoming a castaway,
"never tie a knot insufficient to the task."
Let Sailor Boot Camp begin!
Let Sailor Boot Camp begin!
"Parrots are optional."
Parrots are... Hey!
You may call for Alise.
Alise!
Will you come to my chamber please?
What is she up to?
Princess Boot Camp!
No, Alise! It's a trap!
I'm afraid, Alise will have to miss your
"Life on a Poop Deck" lecture series.
Sailor Boot Camp! How did you know?
She-devil.
Thief!
Says the man who wants to
turn my grand-daughter into a pirate!
"A pirate"? Me?
Let Princess Boot Camp begin.
A "pirate" she calls me.
-"Pirate" she calls me!
-Do you ever say anything original?
Do you ever say...
Chamberlain! No! Chamberlain, wait!
I'm sorry, Queen's orders.
Chamberlain, I demand
that you open this door!
-Uberta!
-Uberta!
Alise, darling! No, no, no, no.
I thought you said pinky out.
Out, yes. Straight as a dagger, no, no.
Yes!
I think my pinky
doesn't want me to be a princess.
It must learn to do its duty
like every other bone in your body.
Granmum, I was, kind of, thinking about
going swimming today?
No, no, no, no, dear!
No swimming,
no leaving my wing of the castle
until you've been properly trained.
Today, after pinky positioning,
it's on to proper curtsy technique.
-Hi, guys.
-Coming for a dip?
Yeah, in six weeks maybe.
Six weeks? How many curtsies can a girl do?
Millions, I guess.
Then, it's proper vowel pronunciation,
followed by posture training!
What's next, Chinese water torture?
-Out!
-Incoming!
Geronimo!
Sometimes she gives us royals a bad name.
Now, where were we?
How dare you call me a pirate?
So be it!
It'll take a pirate to save this young lassie
from a fate worse than Davy Jones' Locker!
Not if I make shark bait of ye first, ye seadog!
If you've noticed,
me timbers ain't shivering, ye landlubber!
Try me, ye scurvy mutt!
-Don't tempt me, ye...
-Scallywag!
Thank you. You scallywag!
Alise needs adventure!
She'll get all the adventure she can handle
with a tight corset
and a pair of ill-fitting shoes!
-Have you tested it yet?
-Thought I'd let you.
A word, Captain Brodie.
Here comes quality control.
At ease. No need to salute.
We know.
Well, as Secretary of Safety and Surveillance,
I have to ask, where are the improvements
to castle security?
-Well, I...
-Well, you said your master trap-makers
would add an extra layer of defense here.
-Yes, and...
-But all I see, quite frankly, are...
Yes, well, I suppose that will do in a pinch.
-All right!
-General Puffin!
You have allowed Alise to escape the castle!
"Escape," ma'am?
You're good.
You will bring her back to my wing,
and then, you will direct our furry friends
to guard the doors
until Princess Boot Camp is complete!
Queen Uberta...
I thought our job was to keep bad guys out,
not good girls in.
Or not.
Puffin, tell them to put me down.
I'm sorry, Alise. Orders from your granmum.
But, Puffin,
I don't wanna be a princess-princess.
I wanna be a modern princess.
My wings are tied, my young friend.
Trapped in a castle for six weeks.
-It's horrible.
-That's nothing!
Imagine being trapped
inside a frog's body your whole life.
It disgusts me!
Okay, I'm a little slimy maybe, but...
If Derek and Odette were here,
they wouldn't allow this!
And neither will I!
Are you suggesting...
We break her out!
But Puffin and his army of
flying brown skunks will just put her back in.
Not if they couldn't find her.
You okay?
It used to take all day
to get my taters to market.
No problem.
Now I'll be able
to cross the canyon in five minutes!
It's good for all of us.
And to think the Prince and Princess
are helping us do the work!
The times are a-changing!
Let me help you with that.
Too bad that fair daughter of yours
is missing all the action.
She's at home
having her own adventure, I'm sure.
Next, you're probably asking yourself,
"How should I curtsy to a lord
from a foreign country
"who only lives in a medium-sized castle?"
Not really.
Such a curtsy takes a great deal of practice,
and begins thus.
All right, look alive now!
All secure down here, Captain?
General Puffin! Shouldn't you be
keeping your eye on that
dangerous little girl?
Yeah. If Alise gets out,
she might pick flowers or something.
Vigilance! Vi-gi-lance!
You want to help poor Alise, right?
Me love Leesie.
Okay then, when you hear the loud croak,
light these torches
as quickly as you can, capisce?
Best job on Earth!
-Okay, until then, just...
-Me chill.
It's go time.
When do I do my performance, now?
-I'll give you the signal.
-Great. You say "action,"
then I will deliver my lines with passion!
Me, may, my, mow!
All right. Positions!
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
I'm gonna pickle you
if you don't get out there.
I see. You're one of those directors.
What's this? Is Alise's room secure?
Pretty much.
Except, we let that dragon in.
Oh, yeah. But it was only a wee dragon,
little teeth.
Vigilance!
Now?
Whoa, buddy, on the second croak.
"Croak"? Shouldn't we
leave croaking to a professional?
Competition!
Puffin! Puffin!
-Yes, what is it, Jean-Bob?
-Invaders! I think.
Captain Brodie!
-Well done, Jean-Bob.
-Did you see me?
I was, like, "Invaders!" with this kind of face.
I was totally in the moment.
"Invaders!" I said, like this.
It was awesome.
It's all about knowing your motivation.
-Okay, now...
-I could've gone with this or this.
But my inner monolog told me this!
Tell your inner monolog to zip it
and dial down the drama, would you?
We've got a girl to rescue from the clutches
of an insidious queen who's gone mad!
Yeah, okay,
we'll dial down the drama a notch.
This guy's, like, from the future.
We got a Code Z.
Fellas! They got the Code Z!
Distract them.
These guys are super-focused.
A princess never laughs too loudly.
Time for your adventure, Alise.
We'll be gone before Uberta even wakes up.
-Alise!
-Morning yoga.
Time to rise and shine,
my sweet little princess.
Everybody down!
I breathe peace.
Quickly, before she breathes fire!
Let's greet the sunrise, young princess.
Rogers!
Carpe diem!
She's gonna be mad at me forever.
Part of being a modern princess,
is suffering the wrath
of old royalty with a smile.
Let's see one now.
That's my girl.
I breathe peace all right,
a piece of Rogers's scalp!
Where are all the horses?
They're out to pasture, Highness.
We're going sailing?
I hope Granmum will let me.
Well, she can't stop us now.
-Are you sure?
-Of course, I...
Rogers! As your queen...
Trade you.
You'll never escape!
It's like she's got rabies!
Never underestimate
the Queen!
Not to worry, Your Highness.
I've pulled in huge whoppers like you before.
I've driven Alise away
with my stupid Princess Boot Camp!
Now, she'll be lost at sea.
There, there,
let's not assume the worst, Queen Uberta.
She'll be picked up by a pirate ship
and learn pirate ways!
She'll spend her days
plundering and pillaging!
And then she'll come back someday
with a peg leg
and a burning torch
in her cute, little hook-hand!
And she'll say,
"This is what you get, Granny,
"for teaching me to curtsy 24/7!"
Who did that?
Thank you, Puffin, for your courage.
Well, it was a tough decision,
but I said to myself...
I'm over it.
Now get out of here and find Alise!
Both of you!
No! You have to row together!
Well, as flying squirrels,
the time we spend in boats is limited.
On my count then. Ready?
-And hep!
-Hep!
-And hep!
-Hep!
-And hep!
-Hep!
Hold on. Time-out.
-What's "hep"?
-Yeah!
Well, it's just a sound! You row on "hep"!
Can we choose a different word?
Yeah! How about "Dodgenberry Chuckwit"?
-Yeah, I like that.
-"Dodgen..."
No. Look, fellas, the sound isn't important.
What's important is that we all work together
for Alise.
Yeah!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
Yes, this is the life.
The warm sun on your pale skin.
The salty air in your windswept face.
The fruity drinks with a little paper umbrella.
Fill 'er up, thin one.
-That frog is going to be a distraction.
-Distraction?
I'm ready for training, Lord Rogers.
Then come on up, future sea captain!
And to think,
Uberta thought I would turn you into a...
Pirate!
What do you see when you're looking at me
'Cause there's much more than meets the eye
Something inside me longs to be free
And it's something I just can't deny
I'm not afraid
To stand up and say
There's more to me
than just ribbons and curls
This wild heart is longing to travel the world
So bring on the danger
The song of the sea
Adventure is waiting
It's calling to me
I know who I am
And I'll take my place
I'll be a princess tomorrow
But a pirate today
There are those who say that I can't do both
Live life as a princess with a pirate's oath
There's a world to explore
and I'll do it my way
Save dreams for tomorrow and live for today
No!
There's more to me
than just ribbons and curls
This wild heart is longing to travel the world
So bring on the danger
The song of the sea
Adventure is waiting
It's calling to me
I know who I am
And I'll take my place
I'll be a princess tomorrow
Princess tomorrow
I'll take my place
Princess tomorrow
Princess tomorrow
I'll be a princess tomorrow
But a pirate today
So, what course are ye chartin'
for the comin' days at sea, Jolly Rogers?
We're sailing back first thing in the morning!
Home already? Blimey, Cap'n!
Uberta was right!
I've turned you into a pirate!
She's gonna be mad at me forever.
Aye, but we must learn
to suffer the wrath of royalty with a smile.
Don't lose yer jolly, Jolly Rogers!
By the time we get home,
she'll have a case of scurvy!
Ahoy! What be that exceeding bright star?
That is the North Star.
She's bright as a treasure, she is.
For centuries, sailors have kept
their eye on her because she is constant,
never moving, always true.
Much like
the love of your dear parents, Alise.
Aye. Then I've got
two North Stars at home, don't I?
Indeed. Don't mess it up.
Be calm, friends!
You're with a man who knows the ropes!
That's an awful lot
of rope-y tie-y off-y things.
Don't fret, lads.
Lord Rogers knows what he's doing.
Don't you, Jolly Rogers?
I'm going to take that as a "no".
Back down below, young princess!
Get ready to pull!
Lord Rogers!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
I sure hope they're not out there.
-For!
-Alise!
I'll give you back your color
if you give me back mine.
What a bunch of landlubbers.
Jolly Rogers! The sun, she rises!
The worst is over.
Except for the part where we sink!
At least, it can't get any worse.
Okay, can everyone stop saying
how things can't get any worse?
Alise... Alise! Where is she?
-Lord Rogers!
-Turtle in trouble.
Hop on.
Where's Rogers and Jean-Bob?
Alise!
Oh, dear.
-Now who is the distraction?
-Pull me back!
Admit I'm a prince!
Right, a prince with suction cups!
Alise! Alise! Where is she?
It can't be.
A pink belly!
I get the toes!
-Well...
-I get the fingers!
-I call the neck.
-Hey! Now, come on!
You all get the scraps.
-Meat!
-Meat!
Meat!
What, Nums?
Well, that's the scrawniest pink belly
I've ever seen!
"Scrawny"? What I lack in mass,
I make up in power.
These are a pair of quality ham hocks,
I guarantee you!
I get first dibs.
The rest of you can have the scraps.
Perhaps I've oversold my assets.
Now hold on just a minute!
If I'm going to be eaten,
I'm going to be eaten with style.
Move!
Let's see, what have we got here?
Look at this place! Dill! Rosemary! Tarragon!
You're living in a veritable herb garden!
Why would you gobble me down raw
when you could season
and slow-roast me to savory perfection?
He makes a good point.
Okay. Quick, how would you cook you?
"Quick" nothing! You're going to
learn to cook with passion
or you'll be kicked out of my kitchen!
Look, Pink Belly...
You will call me "Chef"
throughout the competition.
"Competition"?
Precisely! I'm splitting you up
into two groups.
Team Starfish!
And Team Coconut!
The team that turns me
into the most savory dish...
-Wins.
-But, Mr. Pink Belly...
-I mean Chef. Chef...
-Too late! Get out! Out!
Anyone else
with a question that just can't wait?
No, Chef!
Then let's get to work.
Herbs, people! Or whatever you are.
Herbs!
You! Me! Kitchen inspection! Now!
Look.
If you thought he was scrawny,
I'm even more meatless.
I'm practically a soy product!
It's Green Thing!
Green Thing
Green Thing
Green Thing, Green Thing
Green Thing, Green Thing
Green Thing
Finally... My peeps.
"Just a frog," eh?
He says as he waves with his suction cups.
You might be Chef, but you're also dinner.
There's another one out there.
Go find this "Alise" he talked about.
No sign of them?
Of course, Jean-Bob will
blend in with everything.
Yep. And Rogers could be
standing behind a bamboo shoot.
-Run.
-What did you say?
Alise, you must run.
-Scully?
-A thousand apologies, Princess.
-Didn't mean to scare you, but...
-Scully!
I never thought I'd get a chance to see you,
to thank you.
You saved my life!
-It was nothing.
-But you died!
Obviously not! Look, I'd love to chat.
For instance, someday I need a good recipe
for a chocolate chip scone.
But for now,
you really must get moving, okay?
Move along now. Go, go.
Run, Speed!
I'm in top gear.
Thank you, Scully! I'll try to find that recipe!
Off you go, Alise!
Move it!
Goodbye, meat thing.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Wow.
Double wow.
This is where you live...
-Lucas.
-I'm Alise.
Princess Alise.
Wait, you're a princess?
But today, I'm a pirate.
Then you'll be good at this. Hold on!
So, what are those things?
Boggs. Very dangerous, and very hungry.
How do you survive?
They don't know I'm here.
At least I hope they still don't.
A songbook?
Do you like to sing?
So, you got shipwrecked too, huh?
More like raft-wrecked.
I was trying to sail away, because...
Well, because of my parents.
Your parents?
So, we're agreed then?
It is for the best, isn't it?
Yes. Tomorrow,
you can take him to the orphanage.
Lucas?
-Lucas? Lucas!
-Lucas!
Lucas!
-They didn't want me.
-Didn't want you?
How can you be so sure?
They were going to give me away.
But there must have been some reason.
It doesn't matter.
Right now,
we've gotta save your friend, the old guy.
Lord Rogers?
Did you see a frog, too?
Green. Looks like a frog.
They're both fine, well, for now.
But together, I think you and I and...
Friends call me Speed.
...and your awesome talking turtle,
we've got a chance.
No, no, I haven't seen a boy.
You think he might've passed by here?
Well, it's more likely
he's hiding in your forest.
All alone in the forest?
He's never really had a home.
He's grown up outdoors.
But he could
survive in a forest like yours quite easily.
I see. Well, I'll certainly keep an eye out for...
Lucas. His name is Lucas.
Maybe Lucas is better off.
Who wants to be with a father
who can't even provide for his own...
Don't say that! We are a family.
And Lucas couldn't ask for a better father.
And you'll be able to work again,
I just know it.
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-Very funny.
-What?
Hey!
Stay away!
Attack!
Stop that! What are you doing?
He's got Brodie!
There he is!
Got him!
Got him.
What do you know?
That daft bird just saved us.
For now, anyhow.
You're late! Move it!
I've never seen a more pathetic group!
You really think
you can turn me into a quality meal?
-Yes, Chef!
-I'll be the judge of that!
Actually, you won't be around
to be the judge of that.
-Out of my kitchen!
-It was a simple observation!
Now, our first job is to slice, chop, dice,
and julienne-cut.
Make the food smaller.
You like this presentation?
Take a closer look.
Get out!
Start over!
Perfect picnic slices.
Team Starfish. Bunch of bootlickers.
I'm thrilled to learn from Chef
and to eat him, of course.
Now, we carefully add herbs and spices.
Do you even know
what you're putting in there?
Yes, Chef, it's rosemommy.
Taste it before you add more!
Yes, Chef!
Oh, lovely! Why not
stick your whole face in the pot!
Yes, Chef!
"It's rosemary. Taste before you add more.
"Don't stick your face in the soup."
I could've told you that last one.
Tell us, oh, Green Thing.
What is the most important thing in life?
Floss daily.
Okay, people, we're zesting,
everybody zesting!
You're not zesting.
There's nothing to zest, Chef.
Here you go.
Gee, let's trade!
Throwing food is absolutely...
Enough! Enough!
All right! Taste test! Right now!
We're picking a winner! Let's go!
Both equally wretched! Start over!
Actually, it wasn't that bad.
I'm done with cooking!
Hold on! What's this?
I'm getting the aftertaste
of Team Coconut's broth.
Robust! Nutty! Yes!
Team Coconut is the winner!
Robust and nutty.
Well, he got the "nutty" part right.
Yeah!
Now, throw him in the soup.
Without roasting me first?
More steps?
You won the broth round.
Now we move on to the roasting round.
-"The roasting round"!
-We're gonna blow Chef away!
After we cook him, then Chef will see who's...
-Wait.
-Oh, now you get it!
We can't just
leave Rogers and Jean-Bob like that!
We have time.
Your friends are doing a good job stalling,
and we need to take advantage of that.
To do what?
It's no use to set them free
if we don't have a way to escape.
You're right.
And listen,
the Boggs have super-good hearing, so...
We can be quiet.
Oh, now?
He's going to teach us some hand language.
"In the case of an emergency,
"exits are located here and here?"
No. I think he said,
"You two go that way, 10 paces,
then split up and wait."
You're good.
I agree with Speed. I don't believe you.
Even I understood that.
That bright one, it's the North Star.
It never moves.
Sailors keep their eye on it
because it's constant.
Like a parent's love.
Who told you that?
Lord Rogers.
You mean the guy that got you shipwrecked.
When we get home, you'll see.
You'll see how good parents can be.
Let's just finish the raft.
You think Puffin got, you know...
That would be merciful compared to this.
Raise that pokey-uppy thing
so I can get a better view.
The lot of ya, climb up here and spread out.
-There we go.
-We should have done this before!
For Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
Derek! Derek!
-What is it?
-It's... It's Alise.
-It's perfect!
-Yeah, I think it'll work.
It just needs to be bigger, right?
I mean, we'll need more space for Rogers.
What?
-I'm not going.
-"Not going"?
Look, I'm glad you have perfect parents
and a castle and friends.
But that's not my world.
But the Boggs!
They still don't know I'm here.
When you go, it'll just be like before.
Look, I'll help you
and your friends get on your way,
but this is my home.
Didn't they want me?
Didn't they care?
How could they just turn and leave?
Didn't they love me?
Or was it all a dream?
I'm not really sure what I believe
We were a family
I felt so safe
It was the picture-perfect life
I thought I knew them
How was I so wrong?
But if they won't have me
Then I'll just move on
I'm strong I'm tall standing on my own
I won't give in anymore
I'm brave enough standing on my own
And if no one's there to catch me
Then I'll just never fall
And I'll stand alone
On my own
I wish my parents were here.
They'd know what to tell him,
wouldn't they, Speed?
Yup. They're pretty smart.
-Perhaps, I can help.
-Scully!
I'm a poor substitute
for the Prince and Princess, to be sure.
I'm so glad you're here.
Yeah, well, I wish I had better news,
but, alas, it's not to be so.
What? Why?
Well, it appears your friends are
about to become a main course.
-Lord Rogers!
-Jean-Bob!
We have to do something!
Way too much fire!
You're slow-roasting,
not re-enacting the destruction of Pompeii!
I've seen a candle with more heat.
You know, raw and uncooked,
that's sounding pretty good right now.
You've all failed! Out! Out of my kitchen!
No, Chef.
We got meat, fleshy treats
Gonna get some
Used to starve, now we carve
No more ho-hum
Slow-roasted, I said!
Slow...
Feel the heat, gonna eat
Sweet and hearty
What a day, no delay
It's a party
Listen to me!
You have to cook me
over a very, very low heat
for a very, very long time.
Otherwise, I'll be all crispy on the outside
and uncooked on the inside.
Now think, do you want a juicy,
well-cooked pink belly
or a tough, dried-out, crispy pink belly?
-Crispy pink belly!
-Crispy pink belly!
Jean-Bob! Jean-Bob!
Hark! Methinks I hear the lame brain
who said I am just a... Rogers!
Behold! Green Thing forbids
the eating of pink bellies!
"Crispy"!
Crispy pink bellies!
From now on,
we no longer worship green things,
we saut them!
How do I feel about eating my guru?
Surprisingly, I'm okay with it.
Twenty degrees north by northeast.
More fire.
You think you're so all-powerful?
Then act like it!
You want fire?
'Cause I'll show you some fire, baby!
Now you've done it!
How dare you slather sauce on Green Thing?
Yeah!
"Thou shalt not slather!"
That's a super big rule!
We got meat, fleshy treat
Gonna get some
Feel the heat, gonna eat
Sweet and hearty
What a day, won't delay
It's a...
You better run!
No, you better not! Untie us first!
-You're back.
-Okay. Untie us and all is forgiven!
Jean-Bob, it's me.
-Alise!
-Alise!
We got meat, fleshy treat
Gonna get some
Used to starve, now we carve
No more ho-hum
Hurry. Me hungry.
Feel the heat, gonna eat
Sweet and hearty
That was a little too good.
More fire.
-Hurry!
-Just one more cut.
I'm sorry to crush your barbecue!
Alise!
It's the girly pink belly!
-Who are you?
-Just stay close and do exactly what I do.
I'll explain later.
Dinner's on the run!
It's here somewhere. Quick, get in!
Meat!
Down!
Help! I broke my leg!
Meat!
This thicket will give us cover to the shore.
You're home free.
The raft is just around the bend.
-Try not to wreck this one.
-Don't start!
Are you sure you wanna stay here?
It was a pleasure, Princess, to serve you.
Wait, wait! What? Where's he going?
You better go.
Meat!
This is all my fault, young princess.
If it's any consolation,
what you did back there at the camp,
your courage, your cleverness,
to me, you are every inch, every molecule,
a very modern princess.
Okay, that's all very sweet,
but it's a little gloomy.
So now, everyone,
a big, hopeful smile and escape plan!
The only thing worse
than eating and running
is running before you're eaten!
Stall. Trust me. Trust me!
Inspiring and spooky at the same time.
It's only Scully. Do what he says.
I was only
testing your culinary determination!
And you failed!
You let dinner escape!
You don't deserve a main course like me!
Oh, come on, don't say that!
Yeah, yeah, we'll work harder, promise.
Don't fall for his tricks!
He's just stalling, is all!
Isn't he, Nums?
Fire!
For Alise!
Get them!
Get up there!
Keep coming, Lord Rogers!
The Princess is secure!
Everyone, back to the boat!
Let's move. Move, move!
Brodie said, "To the boat!"
Let's get out of here!
Gotcha!
-Alise!
-Oh, no!
Meat.
-Good thing you're a quick learner.
-You came back!
Come on!
Lucas!
On top of that,
you are the worst chef-in-training ever!
It's for the best, Lucas. I promise.
I can't stay here now. They've seen me.
Meat!
Rogers! Rogers!
You have every right
to be angry with me, Uberta.
No! Rogers! No, no, no!
That's my granmum, Queen Uberta.
She's, kind of, intense,
but awesome at the same time.
But I must say, Alise has changed.
Lucas?
Come to me, darling!
Alise, you'll sweat!
"Changed," indeed!
The only thing missing
is a beard and a bottle of rum!
Lucas!
He's gone.
If only we had someone,
someone who knows how that boy thinks,
what he might do, how he might hide,
etcetera, etcetera.
Just making sure you were still alive,
and you are.
You've gotta come down sometime!
Maybe not.
We should see the castle soon.
-This will all work out.
-He's right about that, Princess.
Scully!
In fact, let me rephrase and say it has
all worked out in a most extraordinary way.
-Alise is safe?
-Absolutely, indeed.
-Thank heavens!
-I'm so happy!
However...
No, I don't mean "however,"
rather, in addition,
Alise desperately needs your help.
-"Desperately"?
-"Desperately"?
No, no, no, too strong a word,
much too strong.
-And yet...
-Scully!
I'm sorry. No time to explain.
Just hurry up,
take the back road into the kingdom.
-But that takes twice as long.
-Trust me, take that road!
Must go. Ta for now. Good-bye!
But...
Which way?
Go left. Trust me.
Okay, to the left it is.
-I got you!
-Leave me alone!
Sorry. Have a good day.
Scully?
Oh, man, I'm winded.
I gotta drop some weight,
but how can a ghost lose weight?
Yeah, I know.
Okay, why the back road, you ask.
Because, somewhere along the way,
you'll meet his parents.
-Whose parents?
-The boy's, Lucas!
-Who's Lucas?
-Long story. Just stop them!
Okay, back in a jiff.
-Scully!
-Very important instructions.
-But he's getting away!
-I know, but listen to me!
-Stop. Pay attention. Are we all ears?
-Yes.
Don't chase him that way.
Chase him that way.
-But what difference does it make?
-It'll all be clear in a jiffy!
Just go! He's getting away!
Hello.
Your Highness.
That's such a lovely wagon.
By "lovely," she means, well, sturdy.
That's right.
My family always says "lovely"
when they mean "sturdy".
So, where are you headed
in your lovely, sturdy wagon?
Why don't you tell us about yourselves?
Oh, yes, please do. We've got time.
Well...
Perfect. Doing great. Spot on. Keep it up.
Now listen! I'm on your side!
Do you think I want you to be sad and alone?
Do you?
If you'd only slow down and listen!
I'm so sorry.
That's my mother.
His name was Lucas.
That's... That's my mom!
He was a fine boy, a good boy.
A hard worker, and never any trouble to us.
And you never knew why he disappeared?
We've always been very poor.
People are slow
to give my husband a chance.
But he can do anything.
So, we thought...
We thought it best
that he go to an orphanage.
But to him,
he must've thought we didn't love him.
Before we had time to explain...
He was gone.
Mom? Father?
Lucas? Lucas!
Mother!
After all this time, how?
We must have had help from angels, dear.
Yes, the help of angels indeed.
No.
-Meat.
-Meat.
Meat. Meat.
Meat!
Meat.
That was close.
Meat!
You've been chasing ghosts again.
It was different this time, Nums.
What? Where's the baa-baa?
You ate the whole thing?
-He didn't eat it.
-Who then? You? You?
-Let me smell your breath.
-Fool!
There was no baa-baa!
It was just a sound, like all the rest.
But we saw this one, Nums.
Oh, really? What color was it? How tall?
There are no more meat things.
We ate them all!
Which is something I warned you all about.
And now they're gone, aren't they?
-Then what makes those sounds?
-What makes the grass move?
Ghosts. Ghosts of the meat things
we've eaten before.
They haunt us.
There are no more...
Say it, Nums.
No more baa-baas!
-Baa-baas!
-No more cockle-doos!
-Cockle-doos!
-No more snort-snorts or moo-moos!
Snort-snorts. Moo-moos.
No more meat, all extinct
Look what we've done
Used to eat fleshy treats
Now we have none
Cockle-doos, all are through
No more moo-moos
Can't get by, losing my mind
What can we do
You see, look at us.
This is why
we don't say "moo-moos" or "cockle-doos"!
Or "pink bellies"?
Yes, pink bellies.
-Pink bellies!
-Ten fleshy fingers.
And ten fleshy toes.
Tender necks, tasty tummies, meaty legs...
Meaty, tasty pink bellies!
Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!
But maybe someday...
Someday soon.
-Bye!
-Goodbye!
-We love you, Alise!
-I love you, too!
It's okay, Queen Uberta.
They'll be back by summer's end.
Yes!
I don't get it.
Derek and Odette are going to
spend the whole summer helping people?
Papa says that's what
being a real prince is all about.
What a hippie.
I'm gonna miss them.
So, what's first? Build a fort? Play tag?
Not tag.
I'm sorry, Alise,
but General Puffin has a castle to guard.
-As you were.
-I wish.
Bad cannon!
Well done, Bridgit.
Now we've got everything we need
for Sailor Boot Camp!
Sailor Boot Camp!
Alise will be the perfect student.
And to think
I've got her to myself all summer!
I can't wait to begin!
But before Alise arrives,
a quick review of my sailor proverbs.
"To find a new world, or your way home,
"a sailor must know the stars by heart!"
Stars by heart!
A sailor must also know his ropes.
"You may break your ship on a reef
"if you raise the lugsail
when you mean to raise the mainsail."
Know your ropes!
Know your ropes!
"To avoid becoming a castaway,
"never tie a knot insufficient to the task."
Let Sailor Boot Camp begin!
Let Sailor Boot Camp begin!
"Parrots are optional."
Parrots are... Hey!
You may call for Alise.
Alise!
Will you come to my chamber please?
What is she up to?
Princess Boot Camp!
No, Alise! It's a trap!
I'm afraid, Alise will have to miss your
"Life on a Poop Deck" lecture series.
Sailor Boot Camp! How did you know?
She-devil.
Thief!
Says the man who wants to
turn my grand-daughter into a pirate!
"A pirate"? Me?
Let Princess Boot Camp begin.
A "pirate" she calls me.
-"Pirate" she calls me!
-Do you ever say anything original?
Do you ever say...
Chamberlain! No! Chamberlain, wait!
I'm sorry, Queen's orders.
Chamberlain, I demand
that you open this door!
-Uberta!
-Uberta!
Alise, darling! No, no, no, no.
I thought you said pinky out.
Out, yes. Straight as a dagger, no, no.
Yes!
I think my pinky
doesn't want me to be a princess.
It must learn to do its duty
like every other bone in your body.
Granmum, I was, kind of, thinking about
going swimming today?
No, no, no, no, dear!
No swimming,
no leaving my wing of the castle
until you've been properly trained.
Today, after pinky positioning,
it's on to proper curtsy technique.
-Hi, guys.
-Coming for a dip?
Yeah, in six weeks maybe.
Six weeks? How many curtsies can a girl do?
Millions, I guess.
Then, it's proper vowel pronunciation,
followed by posture training!
What's next, Chinese water torture?
-Out!
-Incoming!
Geronimo!
Sometimes she gives us royals a bad name.
Now, where were we?
How dare you call me a pirate?
So be it!
It'll take a pirate to save this young lassie
from a fate worse than Davy Jones' Locker!
Not if I make shark bait of ye first, ye seadog!
If you've noticed,
me timbers ain't shivering, ye landlubber!
Try me, ye scurvy mutt!
-Don't tempt me, ye...
-Scallywag!
Thank you. You scallywag!
Alise needs adventure!
She'll get all the adventure she can handle
with a tight corset
and a pair of ill-fitting shoes!
-Have you tested it yet?
-Thought I'd let you.
A word, Captain Brodie.
Here comes quality control.
At ease. No need to salute.
We know.
Well, as Secretary of Safety and Surveillance,
I have to ask, where are the improvements
to castle security?
-Well, I...
-Well, you said your master trap-makers
would add an extra layer of defense here.
-Yes, and...
-But all I see, quite frankly, are...
Yes, well, I suppose that will do in a pinch.
-All right!
-General Puffin!
You have allowed Alise to escape the castle!
"Escape," ma'am?
You're good.
You will bring her back to my wing,
and then, you will direct our furry friends
to guard the doors
until Princess Boot Camp is complete!
Queen Uberta...
I thought our job was to keep bad guys out,
not good girls in.
Or not.
Puffin, tell them to put me down.
I'm sorry, Alise. Orders from your granmum.
But, Puffin,
I don't wanna be a princess-princess.
I wanna be a modern princess.
My wings are tied, my young friend.
Trapped in a castle for six weeks.
-It's horrible.
-That's nothing!
Imagine being trapped
inside a frog's body your whole life.
It disgusts me!
Okay, I'm a little slimy maybe, but...
If Derek and Odette were here,
they wouldn't allow this!
And neither will I!
Are you suggesting...
We break her out!
But Puffin and his army of
flying brown skunks will just put her back in.
Not if they couldn't find her.
You okay?
It used to take all day
to get my taters to market.
No problem.
Now I'll be able
to cross the canyon in five minutes!
It's good for all of us.
And to think the Prince and Princess
are helping us do the work!
The times are a-changing!
Let me help you with that.
Too bad that fair daughter of yours
is missing all the action.
She's at home
having her own adventure, I'm sure.
Next, you're probably asking yourself,
"How should I curtsy to a lord
from a foreign country
"who only lives in a medium-sized castle?"
Not really.
Such a curtsy takes a great deal of practice,
and begins thus.
All right, look alive now!
All secure down here, Captain?
General Puffin! Shouldn't you be
keeping your eye on that
dangerous little girl?
Yeah. If Alise gets out,
she might pick flowers or something.
Vigilance! Vi-gi-lance!
You want to help poor Alise, right?
Me love Leesie.
Okay then, when you hear the loud croak,
light these torches
as quickly as you can, capisce?
Best job on Earth!
-Okay, until then, just...
-Me chill.
It's go time.
When do I do my performance, now?
-I'll give you the signal.
-Great. You say "action,"
then I will deliver my lines with passion!
Me, may, my, mow!
All right. Positions!
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
I'm gonna pickle you
if you don't get out there.
I see. You're one of those directors.
What's this? Is Alise's room secure?
Pretty much.
Except, we let that dragon in.
Oh, yeah. But it was only a wee dragon,
little teeth.
Vigilance!
Now?
Whoa, buddy, on the second croak.
"Croak"? Shouldn't we
leave croaking to a professional?
Competition!
Puffin! Puffin!
-Yes, what is it, Jean-Bob?
-Invaders! I think.
Captain Brodie!
-Well done, Jean-Bob.
-Did you see me?
I was, like, "Invaders!" with this kind of face.
I was totally in the moment.
"Invaders!" I said, like this.
It was awesome.
It's all about knowing your motivation.
-Okay, now...
-I could've gone with this or this.
But my inner monolog told me this!
Tell your inner monolog to zip it
and dial down the drama, would you?
We've got a girl to rescue from the clutches
of an insidious queen who's gone mad!
Yeah, okay,
we'll dial down the drama a notch.
This guy's, like, from the future.
We got a Code Z.
Fellas! They got the Code Z!
Distract them.
These guys are super-focused.
A princess never laughs too loudly.
Time for your adventure, Alise.
We'll be gone before Uberta even wakes up.
-Alise!
-Morning yoga.
Time to rise and shine,
my sweet little princess.
Everybody down!
I breathe peace.
Quickly, before she breathes fire!
Let's greet the sunrise, young princess.
Rogers!
Carpe diem!
She's gonna be mad at me forever.
Part of being a modern princess,
is suffering the wrath
of old royalty with a smile.
Let's see one now.
That's my girl.
I breathe peace all right,
a piece of Rogers's scalp!
Where are all the horses?
They're out to pasture, Highness.
We're going sailing?
I hope Granmum will let me.
Well, she can't stop us now.
-Are you sure?
-Of course, I...
Rogers! As your queen...
Trade you.
You'll never escape!
It's like she's got rabies!
Never underestimate
the Queen!
Not to worry, Your Highness.
I've pulled in huge whoppers like you before.
I've driven Alise away
with my stupid Princess Boot Camp!
Now, she'll be lost at sea.
There, there,
let's not assume the worst, Queen Uberta.
She'll be picked up by a pirate ship
and learn pirate ways!
She'll spend her days
plundering and pillaging!
And then she'll come back someday
with a peg leg
and a burning torch
in her cute, little hook-hand!
And she'll say,
"This is what you get, Granny,
"for teaching me to curtsy 24/7!"
Who did that?
Thank you, Puffin, for your courage.
Well, it was a tough decision,
but I said to myself...
I'm over it.
Now get out of here and find Alise!
Both of you!
No! You have to row together!
Well, as flying squirrels,
the time we spend in boats is limited.
On my count then. Ready?
-And hep!
-Hep!
-And hep!
-Hep!
-And hep!
-Hep!
Hold on. Time-out.
-What's "hep"?
-Yeah!
Well, it's just a sound! You row on "hep"!
Can we choose a different word?
Yeah! How about "Dodgenberry Chuckwit"?
-Yeah, I like that.
-"Dodgen..."
No. Look, fellas, the sound isn't important.
What's important is that we all work together
for Alise.
Yeah!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
Yes, this is the life.
The warm sun on your pale skin.
The salty air in your windswept face.
The fruity drinks with a little paper umbrella.
Fill 'er up, thin one.
-That frog is going to be a distraction.
-Distraction?
I'm ready for training, Lord Rogers.
Then come on up, future sea captain!
And to think,
Uberta thought I would turn you into a...
Pirate!
What do you see when you're looking at me
'Cause there's much more than meets the eye
Something inside me longs to be free
And it's something I just can't deny
I'm not afraid
To stand up and say
There's more to me
than just ribbons and curls
This wild heart is longing to travel the world
So bring on the danger
The song of the sea
Adventure is waiting
It's calling to me
I know who I am
And I'll take my place
I'll be a princess tomorrow
But a pirate today
There are those who say that I can't do both
Live life as a princess with a pirate's oath
There's a world to explore
and I'll do it my way
Save dreams for tomorrow and live for today
No!
There's more to me
than just ribbons and curls
This wild heart is longing to travel the world
So bring on the danger
The song of the sea
Adventure is waiting
It's calling to me
I know who I am
And I'll take my place
I'll be a princess tomorrow
Princess tomorrow
I'll take my place
Princess tomorrow
Princess tomorrow
I'll be a princess tomorrow
But a pirate today
So, what course are ye chartin'
for the comin' days at sea, Jolly Rogers?
We're sailing back first thing in the morning!
Home already? Blimey, Cap'n!
Uberta was right!
I've turned you into a pirate!
She's gonna be mad at me forever.
Aye, but we must learn
to suffer the wrath of royalty with a smile.
Don't lose yer jolly, Jolly Rogers!
By the time we get home,
she'll have a case of scurvy!
Ahoy! What be that exceeding bright star?
That is the North Star.
She's bright as a treasure, she is.
For centuries, sailors have kept
their eye on her because she is constant,
never moving, always true.
Much like
the love of your dear parents, Alise.
Aye. Then I've got
two North Stars at home, don't I?
Indeed. Don't mess it up.
Be calm, friends!
You're with a man who knows the ropes!
That's an awful lot
of rope-y tie-y off-y things.
Don't fret, lads.
Lord Rogers knows what he's doing.
Don't you, Jolly Rogers?
I'm going to take that as a "no".
Back down below, young princess!
Get ready to pull!
Lord Rogers!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
I sure hope they're not out there.
-For!
-Alise!
I'll give you back your color
if you give me back mine.
What a bunch of landlubbers.
Jolly Rogers! The sun, she rises!
The worst is over.
Except for the part where we sink!
At least, it can't get any worse.
Okay, can everyone stop saying
how things can't get any worse?
Alise... Alise! Where is she?
-Lord Rogers!
-Turtle in trouble.
Hop on.
Where's Rogers and Jean-Bob?
Alise!
Oh, dear.
-Now who is the distraction?
-Pull me back!
Admit I'm a prince!
Right, a prince with suction cups!
Alise! Alise! Where is she?
It can't be.
A pink belly!
I get the toes!
-Well...
-I get the fingers!
-I call the neck.
-Hey! Now, come on!
You all get the scraps.
-Meat!
-Meat!
Meat!
What, Nums?
Well, that's the scrawniest pink belly
I've ever seen!
"Scrawny"? What I lack in mass,
I make up in power.
These are a pair of quality ham hocks,
I guarantee you!
I get first dibs.
The rest of you can have the scraps.
Perhaps I've oversold my assets.
Now hold on just a minute!
If I'm going to be eaten,
I'm going to be eaten with style.
Move!
Let's see, what have we got here?
Look at this place! Dill! Rosemary! Tarragon!
You're living in a veritable herb garden!
Why would you gobble me down raw
when you could season
and slow-roast me to savory perfection?
He makes a good point.
Okay. Quick, how would you cook you?
"Quick" nothing! You're going to
learn to cook with passion
or you'll be kicked out of my kitchen!
Look, Pink Belly...
You will call me "Chef"
throughout the competition.
"Competition"?
Precisely! I'm splitting you up
into two groups.
Team Starfish!
And Team Coconut!
The team that turns me
into the most savory dish...
-Wins.
-But, Mr. Pink Belly...
-I mean Chef. Chef...
-Too late! Get out! Out!
Anyone else
with a question that just can't wait?
No, Chef!
Then let's get to work.
Herbs, people! Or whatever you are.
Herbs!
You! Me! Kitchen inspection! Now!
Look.
If you thought he was scrawny,
I'm even more meatless.
I'm practically a soy product!
It's Green Thing!
Green Thing
Green Thing
Green Thing, Green Thing
Green Thing, Green Thing
Green Thing
Finally... My peeps.
"Just a frog," eh?
He says as he waves with his suction cups.
You might be Chef, but you're also dinner.
There's another one out there.
Go find this "Alise" he talked about.
No sign of them?
Of course, Jean-Bob will
blend in with everything.
Yep. And Rogers could be
standing behind a bamboo shoot.
-Run.
-What did you say?
Alise, you must run.
-Scully?
-A thousand apologies, Princess.
-Didn't mean to scare you, but...
-Scully!
I never thought I'd get a chance to see you,
to thank you.
You saved my life!
-It was nothing.
-But you died!
Obviously not! Look, I'd love to chat.
For instance, someday I need a good recipe
for a chocolate chip scone.
But for now,
you really must get moving, okay?
Move along now. Go, go.
Run, Speed!
I'm in top gear.
Thank you, Scully! I'll try to find that recipe!
Off you go, Alise!
Move it!
Goodbye, meat thing.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Wow.
Double wow.
This is where you live...
-Lucas.
-I'm Alise.
Princess Alise.
Wait, you're a princess?
But today, I'm a pirate.
Then you'll be good at this. Hold on!
So, what are those things?
Boggs. Very dangerous, and very hungry.
How do you survive?
They don't know I'm here.
At least I hope they still don't.
A songbook?
Do you like to sing?
So, you got shipwrecked too, huh?
More like raft-wrecked.
I was trying to sail away, because...
Well, because of my parents.
Your parents?
So, we're agreed then?
It is for the best, isn't it?
Yes. Tomorrow,
you can take him to the orphanage.
Lucas?
-Lucas? Lucas!
-Lucas!
Lucas!
-They didn't want me.
-Didn't want you?
How can you be so sure?
They were going to give me away.
But there must have been some reason.
It doesn't matter.
Right now,
we've gotta save your friend, the old guy.
Lord Rogers?
Did you see a frog, too?
Green. Looks like a frog.
They're both fine, well, for now.
But together, I think you and I and...
Friends call me Speed.
...and your awesome talking turtle,
we've got a chance.
No, no, I haven't seen a boy.
You think he might've passed by here?
Well, it's more likely
he's hiding in your forest.
All alone in the forest?
He's never really had a home.
He's grown up outdoors.
But he could
survive in a forest like yours quite easily.
I see. Well, I'll certainly keep an eye out for...
Lucas. His name is Lucas.
Maybe Lucas is better off.
Who wants to be with a father
who can't even provide for his own...
Don't say that! We are a family.
And Lucas couldn't ask for a better father.
And you'll be able to work again,
I just know it.
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-Very funny.
-What?
Hey!
Stay away!
Attack!
Stop that! What are you doing?
He's got Brodie!
There he is!
Got him!
Got him.
What do you know?
That daft bird just saved us.
For now, anyhow.
You're late! Move it!
I've never seen a more pathetic group!
You really think
you can turn me into a quality meal?
-Yes, Chef!
-I'll be the judge of that!
Actually, you won't be around
to be the judge of that.
-Out of my kitchen!
-It was a simple observation!
Now, our first job is to slice, chop, dice,
and julienne-cut.
Make the food smaller.
You like this presentation?
Take a closer look.
Get out!
Start over!
Perfect picnic slices.
Team Starfish. Bunch of bootlickers.
I'm thrilled to learn from Chef
and to eat him, of course.
Now, we carefully add herbs and spices.
Do you even know
what you're putting in there?
Yes, Chef, it's rosemommy.
Taste it before you add more!
Yes, Chef!
Oh, lovely! Why not
stick your whole face in the pot!
Yes, Chef!
"It's rosemary. Taste before you add more.
"Don't stick your face in the soup."
I could've told you that last one.
Tell us, oh, Green Thing.
What is the most important thing in life?
Floss daily.
Okay, people, we're zesting,
everybody zesting!
You're not zesting.
There's nothing to zest, Chef.
Here you go.
Gee, let's trade!
Throwing food is absolutely...
Enough! Enough!
All right! Taste test! Right now!
We're picking a winner! Let's go!
Both equally wretched! Start over!
Actually, it wasn't that bad.
I'm done with cooking!
Hold on! What's this?
I'm getting the aftertaste
of Team Coconut's broth.
Robust! Nutty! Yes!
Team Coconut is the winner!
Robust and nutty.
Well, he got the "nutty" part right.
Yeah!
Now, throw him in the soup.
Without roasting me first?
More steps?
You won the broth round.
Now we move on to the roasting round.
-"The roasting round"!
-We're gonna blow Chef away!
After we cook him, then Chef will see who's...
-Wait.
-Oh, now you get it!
We can't just
leave Rogers and Jean-Bob like that!
We have time.
Your friends are doing a good job stalling,
and we need to take advantage of that.
To do what?
It's no use to set them free
if we don't have a way to escape.
You're right.
And listen,
the Boggs have super-good hearing, so...
We can be quiet.
Oh, now?
He's going to teach us some hand language.
"In the case of an emergency,
"exits are located here and here?"
No. I think he said,
"You two go that way, 10 paces,
then split up and wait."
You're good.
I agree with Speed. I don't believe you.
Even I understood that.
That bright one, it's the North Star.
It never moves.
Sailors keep their eye on it
because it's constant.
Like a parent's love.
Who told you that?
Lord Rogers.
You mean the guy that got you shipwrecked.
When we get home, you'll see.
You'll see how good parents can be.
Let's just finish the raft.
You think Puffin got, you know...
That would be merciful compared to this.
Raise that pokey-uppy thing
so I can get a better view.
The lot of ya, climb up here and spread out.
-There we go.
-We should have done this before!
For Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
-For!
-Alise!
Derek! Derek!
-What is it?
-It's... It's Alise.
-It's perfect!
-Yeah, I think it'll work.
It just needs to be bigger, right?
I mean, we'll need more space for Rogers.
What?
-I'm not going.
-"Not going"?
Look, I'm glad you have perfect parents
and a castle and friends.
But that's not my world.
But the Boggs!
They still don't know I'm here.
When you go, it'll just be like before.
Look, I'll help you
and your friends get on your way,
but this is my home.
Didn't they want me?
Didn't they care?
How could they just turn and leave?
Didn't they love me?
Or was it all a dream?
I'm not really sure what I believe
We were a family
I felt so safe
It was the picture-perfect life
I thought I knew them
How was I so wrong?
But if they won't have me
Then I'll just move on
I'm strong I'm tall standing on my own
I won't give in anymore
I'm brave enough standing on my own
And if no one's there to catch me
Then I'll just never fall
And I'll stand alone
On my own
I wish my parents were here.
They'd know what to tell him,
wouldn't they, Speed?
Yup. They're pretty smart.
-Perhaps, I can help.
-Scully!
I'm a poor substitute
for the Prince and Princess, to be sure.
I'm so glad you're here.
Yeah, well, I wish I had better news,
but, alas, it's not to be so.
What? Why?
Well, it appears your friends are
about to become a main course.
-Lord Rogers!
-Jean-Bob!
We have to do something!
Way too much fire!
You're slow-roasting,
not re-enacting the destruction of Pompeii!
I've seen a candle with more heat.
You know, raw and uncooked,
that's sounding pretty good right now.
You've all failed! Out! Out of my kitchen!
No, Chef.
We got meat, fleshy treats
Gonna get some
Used to starve, now we carve
No more ho-hum
Slow-roasted, I said!
Slow...
Feel the heat, gonna eat
Sweet and hearty
What a day, no delay
It's a party
Listen to me!
You have to cook me
over a very, very low heat
for a very, very long time.
Otherwise, I'll be all crispy on the outside
and uncooked on the inside.
Now think, do you want a juicy,
well-cooked pink belly
or a tough, dried-out, crispy pink belly?
-Crispy pink belly!
-Crispy pink belly!
Jean-Bob! Jean-Bob!
Hark! Methinks I hear the lame brain
who said I am just a... Rogers!
Behold! Green Thing forbids
the eating of pink bellies!
"Crispy"!
Crispy pink bellies!
From now on,
we no longer worship green things,
we saut them!
How do I feel about eating my guru?
Surprisingly, I'm okay with it.
Twenty degrees north by northeast.
More fire.
You think you're so all-powerful?
Then act like it!
You want fire?
'Cause I'll show you some fire, baby!
Now you've done it!
How dare you slather sauce on Green Thing?
Yeah!
"Thou shalt not slather!"
That's a super big rule!
We got meat, fleshy treat
Gonna get some
Feel the heat, gonna eat
Sweet and hearty
What a day, won't delay
It's a...
You better run!
No, you better not! Untie us first!
-You're back.
-Okay. Untie us and all is forgiven!
Jean-Bob, it's me.
-Alise!
-Alise!
We got meat, fleshy treat
Gonna get some
Used to starve, now we carve
No more ho-hum
Hurry. Me hungry.
Feel the heat, gonna eat
Sweet and hearty
That was a little too good.
More fire.
-Hurry!
-Just one more cut.
I'm sorry to crush your barbecue!
Alise!
It's the girly pink belly!
-Who are you?
-Just stay close and do exactly what I do.
I'll explain later.
Dinner's on the run!
It's here somewhere. Quick, get in!
Meat!
Down!
Help! I broke my leg!
Meat!
This thicket will give us cover to the shore.
You're home free.
The raft is just around the bend.
-Try not to wreck this one.
-Don't start!
Are you sure you wanna stay here?
It was a pleasure, Princess, to serve you.
Wait, wait! What? Where's he going?
You better go.
Meat!
This is all my fault, young princess.
If it's any consolation,
what you did back there at the camp,
your courage, your cleverness,
to me, you are every inch, every molecule,
a very modern princess.
Okay, that's all very sweet,
but it's a little gloomy.
So now, everyone,
a big, hopeful smile and escape plan!
The only thing worse
than eating and running
is running before you're eaten!
Stall. Trust me. Trust me!
Inspiring and spooky at the same time.
It's only Scully. Do what he says.
I was only
testing your culinary determination!
And you failed!
You let dinner escape!
You don't deserve a main course like me!
Oh, come on, don't say that!
Yeah, yeah, we'll work harder, promise.
Don't fall for his tricks!
He's just stalling, is all!
Isn't he, Nums?
Fire!
For Alise!
Get them!
Get up there!
Keep coming, Lord Rogers!
The Princess is secure!
Everyone, back to the boat!
Let's move. Move, move!
Brodie said, "To the boat!"
Let's get out of here!
Gotcha!
-Alise!
-Oh, no!
Meat.
-Good thing you're a quick learner.
-You came back!
Come on!
Lucas!
On top of that,
you are the worst chef-in-training ever!
It's for the best, Lucas. I promise.
I can't stay here now. They've seen me.
Meat!
Rogers! Rogers!
You have every right
to be angry with me, Uberta.
No! Rogers! No, no, no!
That's my granmum, Queen Uberta.
She's, kind of, intense,
but awesome at the same time.
But I must say, Alise has changed.
Lucas?
Come to me, darling!
Alise, you'll sweat!
"Changed," indeed!
The only thing missing
is a beard and a bottle of rum!
Lucas!
He's gone.
If only we had someone,
someone who knows how that boy thinks,
what he might do, how he might hide,
etcetera, etcetera.
Just making sure you were still alive,
and you are.
You've gotta come down sometime!
Maybe not.
We should see the castle soon.
-This will all work out.
-He's right about that, Princess.
Scully!
In fact, let me rephrase and say it has
all worked out in a most extraordinary way.
-Alise is safe?
-Absolutely, indeed.
-Thank heavens!
-I'm so happy!
However...
No, I don't mean "however,"
rather, in addition,
Alise desperately needs your help.
-"Desperately"?
-"Desperately"?
No, no, no, too strong a word,
much too strong.
-And yet...
-Scully!
I'm sorry. No time to explain.
Just hurry up,
take the back road into the kingdom.
-But that takes twice as long.
-Trust me, take that road!
Must go. Ta for now. Good-bye!
But...
Which way?
Go left. Trust me.
Okay, to the left it is.
-I got you!
-Leave me alone!
Sorry. Have a good day.
Scully?
Oh, man, I'm winded.
I gotta drop some weight,
but how can a ghost lose weight?
Yeah, I know.
Okay, why the back road, you ask.
Because, somewhere along the way,
you'll meet his parents.
-Whose parents?
-The boy's, Lucas!
-Who's Lucas?
-Long story. Just stop them!
Okay, back in a jiff.
-Scully!
-Very important instructions.
-But he's getting away!
-I know, but listen to me!
-Stop. Pay attention. Are we all ears?
-Yes.
Don't chase him that way.
Chase him that way.
-But what difference does it make?
-It'll all be clear in a jiffy!
Just go! He's getting away!
Hello.
Your Highness.
That's such a lovely wagon.
By "lovely," she means, well, sturdy.
That's right.
My family always says "lovely"
when they mean "sturdy".
So, where are you headed
in your lovely, sturdy wagon?
Why don't you tell us about yourselves?
Oh, yes, please do. We've got time.
Well...
Perfect. Doing great. Spot on. Keep it up.
Now listen! I'm on your side!
Do you think I want you to be sad and alone?
Do you?
If you'd only slow down and listen!
I'm so sorry.
That's my mother.
His name was Lucas.
That's... That's my mom!
He was a fine boy, a good boy.
A hard worker, and never any trouble to us.
And you never knew why he disappeared?
We've always been very poor.
People are slow
to give my husband a chance.
But he can do anything.
So, we thought...
We thought it best
that he go to an orphanage.
But to him,
he must've thought we didn't love him.
Before we had time to explain...
He was gone.
Mom? Father?
Lucas? Lucas!
Mother!
After all this time, how?
We must have had help from angels, dear.
Yes, the help of angels indeed.