The Wedding Pact (2014) Movie Script
- It's hot as hell
it's a cold war
tainted words
I left so pure
do I walk away
or let you in,
let you in
if I could give you
advice
just give up
'cause you don't want me
to mess you up
but you won't believe
I'm not the one
now saying
that you're lovesick
I don't have the cure
it hurts so good
to pick your poison
when you're in pain,
I enjoy it
your hell is my paradise
paradise
when the sun goes down,
it's time to play
and you know
that I won't go away
your hell is my paradise
so pick your poison tonight
- And last,
I would just like to say
good luck in this new
chapter of our lives.
Excuse the cliche,
but they say that time flies
when you're having fun.
And I don't know
about you guys,
but I have had
the best time of my life here
at Madison college.
Now...
Point me to the keg.
- Look in the mirror,
mascara smeared
sipping belvedere
LA LA like a superstar
stunner shades,
oh, it's so cliche
she's no grenade
- What a douche.
- Bring it in here, girls.
- Why do I get the feeling
we'll be calling Bob
senator one day?
In 20 years, that guy's
gonna be the president.
- Everybody's having
a good time.
I'm already having a good time.
- Dude.
- Hey!
Don't start with me.
- Look, the first semester,
she was totally single,
and you were actually
the first person to meet her.
- Yeah, I know.
I know I blew it, okay?
I mean, usually I got
pretty good game.
But, you know,
I get around Elizabeth
and I get all loopy.
- Yeah, well...
Speaking of game,
how'd the breakup go with Rosie?
- What do you mean,
how'd it go?
She kicked me in the nuts.
- Ooh. Were you wearing?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
You had to know that was coming.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, here she comes.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hey.
- What are you guys
talking about?
- Baseball and...
- Oh.
Guy stuff?
- Yeah.
- So macho.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let me get...
who wants a beer?
- Yeah, I'll have...
- beer? Two beers, three beers?
- I'm okay.
Thank you.
So...
Tomorrow's graduation.
It's crazy, right?
- I know, right?
It's like four years
went by like that.
- Yeah.
You should fly to visit me
in San Diego.
- Mm...
Yeah, I don't know.
- You don't... you don't know
if you wanna come see me?
- No, no, it's not...
it's not what you think.
It's... You know.
What I told you.
- Oh, the claustrophobia
stuff.
- Yes, I...
- I kinda thought you were
kidding about that.
- No. I don't kid
about that.
I thought it was just elevators
and things like that.
- Yeah, it is, but then
it kicks in pretty good
The whole fear of plunging
to a fiery, screaming death
tends to amplify it a bit.
- Right.
- We can talk about
something else.
- Sure. But I do want you
to come visit me.
- Okay.
- Lizzie!
- Um, hold on one second.
I guess maybe one regret
that I have is that,
you know, with all the stupid
boyfriends and girlfriends
that we both had
that you and I never
gave it a shot.
Let's make a deal, Mitch.
In ten years, if we haven't
married other people,
we marry each other.
What do you say?
- Lizzie!
We're gonna leave
without you.
- Okay. Hold on.
What do you say?
- Sure!
- I love you so much,
Mitch.
- I love you too.
- Okay. I'll see you soon.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Huh? So?
How'd it go?
- To be honest,
I think I just got engaged.
Now listen,
I know what you're all thinking.
Yeah, right, he's gonna
wait ten years to marry her.
I will admit,
I did think about it.
For about a month.
Now, as you can see,
when I go on the first date,
I got it down pretty good.
I mean,
look at the way
they laugh at my jokes.
You can't fake that.
Although with women,
you never really can tell.
But first date...
I'm king.
When we get a little deeper
in the relationship...
- Mitch, this is the best
birthday dinner ever.
You'd better be careful,
mister.
I might just use
the "I" word tonight.
- That's when things
go kablooey.
It's your birthday?
- Don't ever call me again.
- For the last time,
my name is Eleanor,
not Elizabeth, jerk!
- Well, ten years later,
I'm still single.
And I heard that Elizabeth
already got married,
so I guess it's just not
meant to be.
- Okay.
This is from me.
- Thank you, Karen.
- Happy Birthday, Mitch.
- Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, come on.
Look at that.
- Nice watch.
What'd that run you?
- Easy!
Thank you, Karen.
You're welcome.
- Seriously, I, uh,
I feel truly blessed
to have friends like you.
Are these wonderful gifts
are just too much, so...
- You're welcome!
- Thank you.
Most of you.
- Is this a party, or what?
- Look at you!
You made it!
- Hey, dude, I took the last
ferry from montauk,
got here in no time.
- And yet, you never visit.
- Nice hat.
- Thank you very much.
This is my good friend
Dave breem
from college, everybody.
- This a birthday party
or a funeral?
Come on!
- Funeral.
- Hey, hey, hey, easy.
Now, who scored
this month's bonus
and is picking up
tonight's check, huh?
- To Mitch.
To Mitch.
- Thank you very much.
- Salud.
- Waitress!
Another round.
Cheap stuff?
- Good night, ladies!
- Hey, guys, it's last call.
Would you like anything else
before I close out your tab?
- No, I think
just the check, thanks.
- Uh, um...
I would like to buy
me and my buddy
two shots of whiskey.
Why don't you, uh...
Keep the change?
Huh?
- You always know
the right thing to do, man.
- That is because I'm the ying
to your Yang.
Oh!
- What?
Oh, my... dude.
- Happy Birthday.
- Come on!
- Mm-hmm.
- You kept this?
- Ten years, man.
How you holding up?
- Eh.
Man, if she only waited,
we would have been great
together.
- Yeah, I know.
- Eh. Stupid to think
a girl like her
can go ten years
and not find somebody.
I mean, it's not like
I didn't try.
I mean, I scoured
the Internet, you know?
Facebook, Twitter...
nothing.
This woman's off the grid.
Thank you.
- Well, what if I told you...
- oh, my God,
who ordered the cabo?
Seriously,
I said bottom shelf, guys!
You know what?
I bet you it was damn Carl.
- Dude, would you stop?
In two seconds,
you're not even
gonna care about that.
- Yeah, that I'd like.
- Then this you'll love.
You sitting down?
- Yeah, Dave.
I'm sitting down.
- Okay, okay.
She never got married.
- No way.
- Yes, way!
- No, no, no, 'cause I read
in the alumni mag...
are you messing with me?
- I'm not messing with you.
- Don't mess with me.
- I'm not messing with you.
In fact, I'm trying to help you.
I read the same thing too.
But I called the alumni office.
She never got married.
This is her last known
address in San Diego.
- San Diego.
Happy Birthday!
It's meant to be, man!
- This might be meant to be.
- This is really meant to be.
- This might be meant to be.
- I'll drink to that.
- Mmm!
- Oh, my God.
Ugh...
- Give me my change!
Dude, there's such better
Mexican in this town.
Why do you keep going
to this dump?
- 'Cause it's got...
it's fiesta hour.
We got, you know,
free drinks.
- Uhh... But it's... ugh.
So what are you gonna do?
- Be honest?
Probably same thing
I've always done... nothing.
- Can I be honest?
That's stupid, man.
Come on... go after the girl!
- She lives a long way away,
and I am terrified of flying.
- Then drive.
- What about my job?
- You hate your job.
- What about my fish?
- I'll feed your fish.
- What about my plants?
- I'll water 'em.
- What if she
doesn't love me back?
- Well, what if she
love me back?
- All right.
You're an animal.
- Come on, man.
What if she does?
You'll never know unless
you get in this car
and go find out.
Yo, yo!
Thanks for the cocktails!
- Carl?
- Yeah.
- Douche.
- Douche.
- We're heading to val's.
You and your buddy wanna come?
- Yeah, Mitch, come on.
Come for a night cap.
- Yeah, Mitch.
Come!
- I'm gonna have to pass.
- What, do you got something
better to do?
- Yes, I do.
I'm going to San Diego.
Yeah! All right!
I'll come.
- Riding a narrow road
under skies so blue
hiding that I am
I'm searching for you
along the passersby
I keep looking in vain
day after day I ride
towards the setting sun
on the road traveled less
- Okay, so driving
across country
and just showing up
at her place with no warning?
Some people
might think it's crazy.
Or creepy.
But I think it's romantic.
toing and froing
gotta get 'em now,
gotta get your goal
gotta figure out what the hell
you know on your own
time to push the envelope,
runnin' out of rope
slipping down the slope,
looking for answers
I can't seem to find
- Bam.
Uh!
hey
- hey
I'm wastin' my time
get some more of the story
into the grind
gotta get 'em now,
gotta get your goal
gotta figure out...
- Wow, you're a long way
away from home.
Hey, there.
- Uh, hi.
- Where ya headed?
- Uh, San Diego.
- You look exhausted.
How long you been driving?
- Sheesh.
About 11 hours.
- What's your name,
patriot?
- Mitch.
- Hey, Mitch.
Nice to meet ya.
I'm Laura.
- Hi.
- You know, I run
a bed and breakfast
just up the road.
- Oh, well, uh...
That's okay.
- Come on.
I didn't meant to startle ya.
But you just look too cute
not to meet.
I got a nice bed
and a hot shower.
I was even gonna cook.
You like spicy?
Yeah, I don't know.
Mmm. Oh, my gosh.
That was fantastic.
Thank you.
- That's sweet.
There's more if you like.
- After 11 hours of driving
and three glasses of wine
and a meal like that...
Just point me to bed.
I am done.
- Mmm. Bed.
That sounds real nice.
Oh...
You really are cute.
Don't move.
- Wh...
- hello.
Oh, hey, Rudy.
It's my brother.
It'll just be a sec.
- Okay.
- Really?
That's kinda last minute.
But I have a guest here.
All right,
I'll see ya in a bit.
My brother and his friends
get together once a week
and they lost
their usual place, so...
He asked if he could
come here.
But I said he had to be
real quiet.
Um...
I'll just...
Probably...
- Okay.
Who is she,
and what's her name?
- What do you mean?
Uh...
Elizabeth.
I haven't seen her
since college,
and we made this pact
back then
that if we weren't married
in ten years,
we were gonna marry
each other.
So here it is ten years
later,
and, uh...
I'm gonna track her down.
- You made the old friend
college
ten-year pact?
- Sounds kinda dumb
when you say it like that.
- No, it is kinda dumb.
- Maybe, but...
I have to try.
- Are you sure?
- If I had a nickel
for every time a beautiful
woman like yourself
tried to take me to bed,
including right now...
- You'd have a nickel?
- Maybe a dime.
- Well, she's lucky
to have you,
even if she doesn't know it.
- Thank you.
- I would love to find
some guy
to take me away
from this life.
- You? I'm sure you have
plenty of offers.
- I seem to be attracted
to losers.
- Wait a minute.
Did she just call me a loser?
I haven't felt that awkward
since my first day of college.
- Here we go.
- Whoop! Yeah.
- College!
- All right!
Got in.
- Mitch.
- Oh.
I'm Dave.
- Hey.
Cool!
- Okay, all right.
This'll work.
Now that that's settled,
I'm gonna go take a whiz.
College!
- College.
O-ma-o-ma-my-ma...
O-ma-o-ma-my-ma...
- What the f...
Aah! Ohh!
Ohh!
Mitch?
A-are you all right?
- I'm fine.
Thank you.
- I thought I heard
a crash in there.
- Uh...
I just dropped
some change on the table.
I'm good.
- Honey, can you open
the door, please?
- Ohh...
Coming.
Ohh... Ooh.
See? All good.
- Actually,
I'm glad you're awake.
- Oh, really?
- My brother and his friends
are outside,
and he'd like to meet you.
- Your brother what?
- He'd like to meet you.
- Do you think
that's a good idea?
I mean, he seems...
Pretty busy with the boys
and all.
- Laura! Get your sorry butt
out here with your friend now.
- Rudy, don't push me!
Mitch is getting dressed
and will be out in a minute!
Sorry.
- That's okay.
- If you could...
If you could just get dressed
and come out with me,
it would be really great.
- I'll be out in a sec.
- Okay.
I'm dead!
- I knew about you
as soon as I met you.
- As did I you, sir.
- Sir.
- Sir?
Well, look out, everybody.
Here comes sir Rudy!
- Well, I gotta get going.
Got a long drive ahead of me.
- Hey, listen, we are gonna
be out in Zuma
in the next couple weeks.
If you need any help,
you call.
Deal?
- Deal.
- Ah!
- ah!
And thanks for
that all-American burger.
- You're welcome.
- I know he can be
an obnoxious jerk.
But he's my brother.
- It's family.
Hey, Laura,
thank you for everything.
And take care of yourself.
- You too, darling.
Now, go find Elizabeth.
Have your friend call me.
- Will do.
- So hot,
look at that body
ooh, girl
I'm gonna do
something naughty
Strawberries and cream.
If you know this...
Listen, babe, wait.
Yello?
- Hey, man.
- Oh, hey, man!
Where are you?
- Texas.
- Texas?
Only two things in Texas...
and you're not a steer.
- How's it going?
You got a number for me?
- Sorry, but you're really...
Not gonna like this.
- Aw, dude,
after the night I had,
it's not even gonna matter.
Just shoot.
Yeah, she doesn't
live in, um, San Diego.
She lives in Hawaii.
- Hawaii?
- Yeah, dude, Hawaii.
But look, you can do this.
- How am I gonna get
to Hawaii?
Is there a boat?
- No, dude.
Not unless you want to
spend $5,000.
But you can take a flight.
What the...
- I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.
I will book you... come here.
I'll book you a ticket.
Right there.
Perfect, baby, just...
- all right, look,
just book it.
And I got the number of
a smoking hot woman
I'll give you, okay?
- Oh, really?
One sec.
How hot?
- Just book the ticket.
- All right, okay.
Guess what.
All right, one second.
Ooh... Pow!
All right, mm-hmm.
You owe me $600.
- Fine.
- Call you back.
I'm in the middle of something.
Safe flight.
Ooh! Hit me one time.
- We got you in 21b.
It's a middle seat.
Apologize.
That's all we have.
Have a good flight.
Mahalo.
- Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
Please make sure you are
with your bags at all times.
Do not leave bags
unattended.
- You okay?
'Cause you don't look well.
- I-I don't like flying.
- Oh, God, me neither.
It's just gross.
Hey, look, uh...
I was gonna pound half of this
before the flight.
No need to waste it.
You wanna share?
- How'd you get that past
security?
- I lifted it off
a duty-free.
- Welcome to the amarillo
international airport.
For your safety,
please obey the following
airport guidelines.
- Drink deeply.
Yeah.
- Oh, my goodness.
Come to daddy.
Mm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mm! Mm!
- Oh, yeah, baby.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
You're welcome.
- Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
We are now boarding
aloha flight 3345
to Honolulu.
- Um... That's me.
Is that you?
- Uh, that's me.
- Yah, that's us.
That's good.
That's us.
All right.
All right.
I'll, uh... See you on the plane.
All righty.
Keep that.
It's for you.
- Boarding group 4.
Only those passengers
with a 4 on their boarding pass
should come to the gate.
- Ah! We're going down!
I'm so sorry.
It's my phone.
I'm sorry.
It's Dave.
Hello.
- Dude, oh, good, I got you.
Where are you?
- I'm boarding right now.
- No! Get off.
I was wrong.
Elizabeth
is not in Hawaii.
She's.
- Yeah.
- Your pilot's drunk.
- Don't get on the plane.
- Where am I going?
- She's in Pasadena.
- Pasadena?
- You're welcome.
- Morning.
- Morning, honey.
- Anything in there
that I need to know?
- Once again, not unless
you like politics.
- Mm, my favorite.
I don't know how you read that
day after day.
Doesn't it drive you nuts?
- If you don't read
about what's going on
in this country, Elizabeth,
how can you expect to be
an educated voter?
- Vote?
What's that?
Mom, I'm kidding.
God.
- I was thinking
of going over
and taking in a movie today.
Care to join me?
- I would love to,
but I have an appointment
with Mrs. Stanton and her kids.
- The family you sponsor?
- Yeah. They're part of
my training.
Three weeks, and then
I'm a full-time social worker.
And I have to go
get ready for work.
What time did they say
buddy was gonna be ready?
- 5:00.
- Thank you.
- Turn on rush in the car.
- She must be unlisted,
'cause I got nothing.
- No, I know, I tried...
I tried everybody.
What would you do...
did you try Becky?
Maybe you should give
her a call.
- Oh, Becky?
- Hey.
- That chick scares me.
- Ah...
Yeah, try Becky and then
get back to me, all right?
- I'll text her.
- Okay.
Take care, buddy.
- Peace!
- God!
- Don't freak out.
- Whoa... whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
- What the hell
you doing with my girl?
- I wasn't doing anything!
- Shut up!
- J-just don't cut me.
- I said shut up.
- Damn it, Eddie,
just leave me alone.
- So, uh... How long
this been going on?
- There's nothing going on.
- He gives me
everything you don't.
- What?
- What?
- You just don't love me!
- So I don't love you, huh?
Then what's this then?
- What the hell am I
supposed to do with that?
- Fine.
Choke on it.
- Hey!
Is that how you want her
to remember the big question?
Listen,
do you know how long
some people wait
their whole lives
to be with the one person
they love,
and you two morons
have found each other,
and you're wasting
precious time
acting like children.
Now, she obviously loves you
if she's jumping in a car
with a complete stranger...
Right?
- Right.
- Looking to get your attention.
Now, he obviously loves you
if he's willing to go
to prison for life over you.
- Well, it'd probably be
10 to 12 for good behavior.
- The point is the two of you
are right here right now,
and you know what you want.
- I'm so sorry, baby.
I just get worried
you're gonna leave me.
- I love you so much,
and I want you to be
my one and only.
- Oh, Eddie, I just want you
so bad right now.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Why don't you hop back here
and give me some
of that sweet-smelling sugar.
- I'm, uh...
I'm gonna step out.
- Daddy's waiting
for you, baby.
- New car, caviar
living like a superstar
she's no hater,
just a taker
bona fide love faker
just a hard heart breaker
looking for a money-maker
hey
- I wouldn't know,
but I imagine
the sex right after a marriage
proposal's pretty good.
I just hope it's quick too.
And not messy.
- Round,
get that dirty money
round,
you'll never take it from me
give her bling,
diamond rings
give her gold by the pound
money money money money
makes the girls go round
- Four-letter word...
For a female ending in "unt. "
Ha.
Aunt.
A-u-n-t.
Carter residence.
- Mrs. Carter.
Yes.
- H-hello?
H...
hello?
Damn it.
Yes?
- Mrs. Carter...
- whatever you're selling,
I'm not buying.
But thank you for trying.
- You on the cell phone,
pull over now!
Welcome to California.
- Hello.
- Hi, Mrs. Carter.
Please don't hang up.
- Who is this?
Is this acorn?
- No. My name's Mitch Becker.
I'm an old college friend
of Elizabeth's.
I was trying
to get in touch with her.
- Uh-huh.
Pecker.
- No. Becker, with a "b. "
- Oh.
Oh, Mitch!
Mitch!
Oh, I'm so sorry.
- I was trying to get
in touch with Elizabeth.
I'm in town.
I'd like to see her.
- Oh, she'll be so excited
to hear from you.
Oh, my goodness.
Listen, do you have
one of those g. S.P. Thingies
in your car?
If you do, you could meet her
at the dog groomer.
She's picking up her dog
at 5:00.
- That'd be great.
Um...
- Well, let me get you
the address then.
Oh, she'll be so surprised
to see you!
- Hi, Lizzie.
- Hey, Sally.
Is buddy ready?
- You betcha.
I'll go get him.
Thanks.
Knock it off!
Shut up!
Hey, I said quiet!
Go see mommy.
There she is!
- How are you?
How do you feel, boy?
- He did great, as always.
- Oh, thanks.
You wanna go
on a run later?
Okay!
- How's the training going?
- Good. I'm almost done.
Sounds crazy back there.
How are you?
- Uh, honestly,
I'm thinking cats.
Buddy, no!
- Ohh!
God!
- Oh, my gosh!
Buddy, stay!
Bad dog!
Sir, are you okay?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Are you all right?
Oh, my God, I feel so bad.
- Elizabeth.
- Mitch?
Back soon, mom.
Welcome home, buddy.
Pink toenail Polish.
I got beaten up.
- I'm speechless!
- No.
It's really you.
- It's really me.
- You look great.
- I was just about to say
the same thing about you.
- So what are you doing here?
You look like you need
to tell me something.
Are you sick?
You're not sick, are you?
- No. No, no.
Uh...
What about you?
Last I heard,
you were married.
- Hmm. Uh, no, not yet.
I was going to,
and that didn't happen.
It wasn't, um...
Really my choice.
What about you?
- Me.
- Mm-hmm.
Married?
- I would have thought
you'd be married by now.
- Funny you should say that.
- Why?
- It's...
It's funny because I...
I, um...
Have to go to the bathroom,
and I will be right back.
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
Oh, come on, Mitch.
Get it together, man!
You've been waiting on this.
It's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be good.
You got this.
You got this.
Really. 'Cause now you're
talking to your penis.
That's fantastic.
Great.
Elizabeth...
We made a promise
to each other
ten years ago.
I'm here
to honor that promise.
I'm here to say to you,
"will you marry me?"
I'm sorry.
- Good luck, bro.
- Jake, remember
how I told you about
my college best friend
who was a guy,
and you said
that it was impossible
for guys and girls
to be friends,
'cause the guy always wants
to get in the girl's pants?
- Well, no, babe, what I
actually said was only guys
who are friends
with attractive women can't be.
- Jake Jones, meet my college
best friend Mitch Becker.
- How you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, wait a minute.
I do remember!
Yeah, from some of the college
photos that you showed me.
- Yes!
- I didn't recognize you
without that perm.
- Ha ha ha.
- Knock it off.
- I'm just messing around.
Friend?
- Friends.
- Good. That's better.
Because I could not have you
come to my wedding
hating my fiance.
- Huh?
- Jake and I
are getting married.
- Really?
Congratulations.
When?
- Ten days.
- That's fantastic!
- You should stay
for the wedding!
Would you?
- Well, while he
contemplates that,
I'll go ahead
and pay the check.
- I'll get it.
- Okay.
- Just tell him
I'll be there in a sec.
I'm on my way, okay?
God!
Oh, wait a minute.
I have something for you.
- You do?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
- No!
Babe, it's beautiful.
Thank you.
- Wait a minute.
I just gave you a wedding ring.
I need a little something
extra than that.
Mmm.
- Mm. Thank you.
- She didn't think I could get
the ring resized
in time for the wedding.
- I didn't say that.
- But I did,
and she was wrong.
Like she always is.
- Okay, don't listen to him.
I am not always wrong.
- Oh, really?
What about the Christmas party
last year... remember?
- You're gonna bring up
the Christmas party?
- Yeah, I'm... you gotta
hear this, rich.
This is hysterical.
- Mitch.
- We're at this lame
Christmas party last year,
something for her mom's
whatever.
- Nice.
- They finally break out
this karaoke machine,
so I start doing
a couple of ll cool j songs.
It was hilarious.
Seriously.
- Honestly, it was awful.
- It was awesome.
Are you kidding?
The early stuff.
Not the later crap.
Anyway, so we get ready
to leave at the end of the night
and then Elizabeth here
starts dousing
her Debbie downer spray
all over the place,
getting on my case
about drinking too much,
having too much fun,
we gotta call a cab.
- So did you?
- No, I didn't call a cab.
She called a cab.
But I was fine to drive.
- No, you weren't.
That's why I called the cab.
- Point is
is that she was wrong.
She was wrong about that.
She's wrong about this thing.
She's wrong a lot of the time.
- I think we get it, okay?
- I think it's cute, though.
- Hey, okay. Um...
How about where I could
get a hotel around here.
- No. You'll just stay
with me and my mom.
- Whoa, whoa,
we got a big week ahead of us.
We got the wedding.
We got the race.
- What race?
- Jake and I have been training
for this couples marathon
for like six months.
- Couples marathon.
- Yeah.
It's a pretty big deal.
They only let like
12 couples even do it.
- You should come
with us tomorrow.
- What, you want him
to go to the race too?
Yeah, fine, why don't you come
to the bridal shower
while you're at it?
- Well, I don't want to impose.
- You're not imposing, and I'm
not gonna take no for an answer.
We have the perfect
guest room.
- Okay.
- And you'll stay
for the wedding?
- Sure.
- It's gonna be
just like old times!
- Just like old times.
- Sweetheart,
we really gotta get going.
- I have to go see Jake's dad
for a couple of things
for the wedding,
but I'll see you at the house.
Do you remember
how to get there?
- Yeah, yeah.
It's in the GPS.
- Okay. See you.
- Later, rich.
- It's Mitch.
Turn left.
In one mile, turn left.
You have arrived
at your destination.
- Yello.
- Yeah, hey, it's me.
- Oh, hey!
- Yeah, good job, nostradamus.
She's getting married
in ten days.
- All right, that's great!
- No, not to me.
- Oh...
I did not predict that.
- Yeah. I got a prediction.
When I get home, I'm gonna...
- Hi.
- Hi, Joyce, how are you?
- Good to see you.
- You too.
- Could you please tell my
father I'm here to see him?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Sir, your son is here.
No, he's with Elizabeth.
Oh, okay.
You can go in.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
He just said Jake,
Elizabeth.
- Ah. It's okay.
Just go.
Damn it.
- Didn't I tell you
to come alone?
- She was with me.
What could I do?
- You drop her off at home
on the way.
Have a seat.
- What do you want, dad?
- Big Chinese exporter's
thinking about hiring this firm.
- That's great, but what does
that have to do with me?
- It always has something
to do with you.
Don't you wanna run
this firm one day?
- Are you thinking about
letting me handle the account?
- No. What,
do you think I'm crazy?
- Then why am I here, dad?
- Um...
You and, uh,
you and her doing okay?
I mean,
the wedding's still on?
- Well, if by her you mean
Elizabeth,
then the answer's yes,
the wedding's still on.
- She sign the prenup?
- So that's it?
Good old dad looking out
for the family interests?
And forget about love,
but let's just make sure
the money's safe, right?
- Did she sign the prenup?
- Yeah.
Yeah, she signed it.
Two days ago.
- Well, that's good, son.
That's good.
I can't afford any...
I mean, we can't afford
any problems,
any surprises.
The Chinese believe
that a good home life
is essential
to a good work life,
and their vetting process
is extremely thorough.
Any shenanigans
could blow this whole deal,
and we're talking big dollars.
I would appreciate it
if you didn't
embarrass your family
or this firm.
- Not to worry, dad.
I'll do my best
not to embarrass you.
- Good. Now that we're
on the same page,
you can go.
- Is this it right here?
- Yeah, this is it.
Oh, buddy, get down!
- Oh, that's okay,
Mrs. Carter.
I'm a dog person.
- Good news for you,
buddy.
Look,
I call you Mitch.
Why don't you just
call me Donna?
- Okay. Thank you, Donna.
- You're welcome.
You're welcome. If you need
anything, ask buddy.
- Okay.
- All right?
I'll be right downstairs.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
Now what, huh?
- You're not gonna
say anything
about what just happened
in there?
- You know, I think
it's really ridiculous
that you got this guy
staying at your place.
- Who, Mitch?
What's wrong with Mitch?
- Elizabeth, it's ten days
before our wedding.
Now, all of a sudden,
you have some ex-boyfriend...
- he's not my ex-boyfriend.
- That's right.
He's your best friend.
And ten days before
our wedding,
he decides to shack up with you
at your place?
- Oh, come on.
- Actually, it's not
even your place, though,
is it?
It's my place.
I...
I can't believe you would
throw that in my face.
You knew my mom and I's
situation.
You're the one
that came up with the idea
for us to live there.
I don't know what your dad
said to you up there,
but please stop taking it out
on me, okay?
- You gonna sign
the prenup?
- What?
- Are you gonna sign
the prenup?
- Jake, I haven't even
really had a chance to read...
- Elizabeth, I really
need you to sign that.
- Well, I've had a lot
on my mind with the race
and the wedding.
I'm working...
- Really? You've had
a lot on your mind?
I've had a lot
on my mind too.
I've had the race on my mind,
the wedding on my mind.
I have this prenup on my mind
that you seem to never
want to talk about.
Now guess what...
now I have Mitch on my mind.
Thanks for that.
Some dweeb I don't even know
who's staying with
my-soon-to-be wife
in the house that I paid for.
- I really don't want to talk to
you about this right now, okay?
Can you please
just take me home?
- Fine.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
- Love you too.
Welcome back.
Okay, now there has been
a lot of talk about voter fraud,
and we are here to discuss...
- hey, Donna?
- Hey.
- Yeah, I was gonna
go grab a beer.
Is anyplace close by?
- Oh. Up the street,
there's lucky's.
- Perfect. Can you tell
Elizabeth where I am?
- Of course. I think buddy
and I can handle that.
Right, buddy?
Have fun.
- Thank you.
Ooh!
Ah-oh!
- Hey, groin shots
are off-limits.
Anything else is fair game.
- Hi.
- Hey. What can I get you?
- I'll just have a beer,
please.
- Sure.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Would you like
to start a tab?
- Sure.
- Aah!
- What is that?
- It's called the whipping post.
I'll have a beer too.
Put it on this guy's tab.
- Oh!
Where's Elizabeth?
- I dropped her home.
- Ah.
What are you doing here?
Don't you have
a big race tomorrow?
- What are you doing here?
- I'm just having a beer.
- No. What are you
doing here?
- Why would anybody
do that to themselves?
- I knew you were a wussy
from the moment I met you.
- I'm not a wussy.
I'm just not stupid.
- Oh, yeah?
Prove it.
- No.
See? Wussy.
- You actually challenging me
to a rat tail competition?
- Tell you what.
Bet 1,000 to your 100
you tap out first.
- Hey, everybody.
Jake just bet $1,000 to...
I'm sorry, what's your name?
- Bitch.
- Mitch.
- To Mitch that he can
take him in the whipping post!
Whipping post, whipping post!
Whipping post,
whipping post,
whipping post, whipping post,
whipping...
- let's do this.
- Whipping post, whipping post!
Whoo!
- Let's do it!
Okay, mates,
here are the rules.
Trade off whips with your towels
until someone taps out.
You tap out, you lose.
No head or groin shots.
Everything else is fair game.
If after five whips
there's still no winner,
we dunk those towels
in ice water, boys.
Understand?
- Yeah, I understand...
- Yeah, okay.
Let's whip it out, boys.
- So, uh, you know, how does
this get going here?
- Are these regulation towels?
- Oh!
- Ooh!
- See that, see that?
Kick his ass, Nate!
- Come on.
- See what you got.
Ow!
- Seems kinda dumb.
Ah!
- Wanna tap out?
- I'm good.
Okay. Okay.
- Sure you wanna do this,
college friend?
Ow! God!
- Right in the nipple.
- That's a good shot.
Good shot.
- Need a break in this,
or what?
- No, we keep going.
Oh.
- Whoo!
Man, what...
oh, God!
- Oh!
- That was right there!
That was...
- sorry. I don't know.
I've never done it before.
- Keep your whips up.
- All right, I'll keep it up.
- Get this guy?
- We keeping score or...
- Ooh!
- That was a little high.
No, I know, it's...
- let's keep it down.
- You want out?
You good?
You w... ow!
Son of a...
You felt that one,
didn't ya?
- Ow! He's hitting
the same spot!
Come on! Can't he
move it around a little bit?
- You all right?
- Yeah!
One-trick pony?
Oh, what were the rules
again?
- Mm!
Aah!
- These two idiots
have actually made it
to the wet whip.
It is now time
for these two fools
to whip each other
at the same time.
- Just bow out, man.
- That's not gonna happen.
You bow out.
- Let's go.
Come on.
- Okay, let's whip it out,
boys.
- Let's whip it out.
Hey!
Are you both crazy?
That's it.
Show's over.
- Boo!
- Come on!
- What were you both
thinking?
- Talk about this tomorrow?
- I'm good with that.
- I'm taking Mitch home.
And I'm gonna see you
at 10:00 A.M.
What is that, your mom?
Ha ha ha!
Come on!
- You had him, Jake.
- Thanks.
- Somebody should tend
to those wounds,
but you're definitely
too drunk to drive.
- You got any suggestions?
- I live right upstairs.
- Tell me what the hell
are you thinking of
when you say
you say that I'm not
everything you want
Ah...
Ohh...
Oh!
Gah!
Ah!
- What the hell
were you thinking?
Do you need some help?
- If you've come to yell at me,
I think I'm suffering
enough as it is.
- I'm not gonna yell at you.
- Here.
- What the hell
were you thinking?
- Oh, my gosh.
Oh...
Ah!
- I'm sorry.
Ow...
- Oh, my gosh!
Where did you find this?
- Oh. Friggin' Dave.
He was busting my balls
about that, so...
- You ate so many hot dogs
that day.
- 27. I remember
every one of them.
- I ate a lot too.
- If memory serves,
you had three.
- Three is a lot.
- Three's a lot?
- Yes. I mean, not as many
as 27, but...
- Well, no, yeah,
look at my face,
and, you know,
look at yours.
- We're babies.
Okay. I'm off to bed.
Good night.
- Good night.
Hey.
Don't you judge me.
You wanna sleep together?
- College.
- College.
Come on, open!
Hi.
- Hi.
- I can't get my door open.
You think you could
help me out?
- Your door...
Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah, it's stuck.
- Um...
Your door's stuck.
Yeah, let me, uh,
let me take a look.
- All runners should be
making your way
to registration now.
He said 10:00 A.M.
Right?
- Yeah.
- Maybe he got held up.
- I don't know, but I can't
wait for him anymore.
I'm gonna go register,
okay?
- We'll be right here,
honey.
- Donna, what's the deal
with this guy?
I don't know.
Oh, Mitch, I don't know.
Speak of the devil...
- Hey!
Hey, where have you been?
And what... why aren't you
dressed for the race?
- What... what?
Oh, my God!
Are you drunk?
- No, I'm not drunk.
I was drunk.
I'm just hung over now.
- Mitch, could you
grab his stuff?
- Hey, don't... don't...
don't touch my stuff, bro.
All right?
- If she sees you like this,
it will kill her.
- Relax, Donna.
Give me a break.
Where is she?
- She's at registration.
- Hey, I wasn't talking
to you, dirt bag!
You know, we could finish
what we started
last night if you want.
- All right,
let's go, 12-step.
- Oh, great.
That's what I thought.
Let's do this thing.
Ow! Ow!
- Nate...
Get away from me!
Ah... Uh...
- I'll go find a doctor.
- What happened?
- You do that!
- Whatever happens,
do not tell Elizabeth
you've been drinking.
- Just quit yelling at me!
God, I have a headache!
- Good luck to you.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Team name.
- Welcome back, Carter.
- Okay.
Here you go.
These are for you.
- Thanks.
- I'll see you
at the starting line.
- Okay.
- Next.
Team name.
- I'm not gonna be too sure
until I look at some x-rays.
But what I see so far looks like
a high ankle sprain.
- Ow! Ow!
- Oh, no, what happened?
Speak.
- I-it was a freak
accident, babe.
I stepped out of the car
and I rolled my ankle.
- Is that the truth?
Mitch.
- It's pretty much
what I saw.
- Do you think there's
any possibility
of him running today?
- Babe, he's a doctor.
I can't run.
- Like I say,
I gotta look at some x-rays.
- So that's it?
What about Mrs. Stanton
and her kids?
- I think the pledges
will understand.
- Final call
for registration.
- I don't think so.
- Well, we're not
gonna find out,
'cause I'll run.
- What?
- If you'll have me.
- I will so have you.
Can you handle Jake?
Mitch and I have
a race to run.
- Wait, whoa...
wait, wait, wait...
- go get 'em, guys.
- Wait, I...
- shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
- Ow!
- All couples should be
making their way
to the starting line.
- I got it, I got it.
- How long is this thing
anyway?
- Probably best
if you don't know.
Just remember,
keep an even pace
and remember
that you're doing it
for Mrs. Stanton and her kids.
- Mrs. Stanton
and her kids. Right.
Okay. This gonna
mess up my pedicure?
- The Pasadena couples marathon
is about to begin.
- I should have gone
to the bathroom first, right?
- Ladies and gentlemen,
do not break your connection,
or you will be disqualified.
Also, make sure
you stay in the course,
especially when you hit
trail hill.
- Trail what?
- Shh!
- There... there's a hill?
- In your position.
On your marks...
Get set...
- But you took control
of me
you pulled the rug
from under my feet
so this is the way
it's supposed to be
I never knew
a love like this
when I was searching
forever
to find someone better
to show me
a love like this
- Ow!
- Oh, stop complaining.
- Donna, I can do it
by myself, all right?
- Oh, shut up.
I'm helping.
- I can't believe she's running
that race with Mitch.
I bet they don't even
finish.
- Oh, ho!
She will.
I just hope Mitch
survives.
- Jesus is on the main line
tell him what you want
oh, Jesus is on
the main line
tell him what you want
Jesus is on the main line
tell him what you want
call him up
and tell him what you want
Jesus is on the main line
tell him what you want
oh, Jesus is on
the main line
tell him what you want
Jesus is on
the main line
tell him what you want
call him up
- good job, guys.
- And tell him
what you want
- So he just stepped in,
huh?
- I know.
Crazy, right?
- Yeah. Well, we have
checkpoints all over this place.
If they were to have quit,
we would have
found out by now.
- Come on, baby!
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!
Come on, baby!
- Oh, wow.
- Whoo, whoo, whoo.
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Hey, hey.
You okay?
- Oh, my gosh!
Should we call an ambulance?
Oh!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
Put your arm around me.
Hold on.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, my God!
- Go, Lizzie!
- You all right?
- Mitch!
Here, sweetheart.
Oh, my God.
You okay?
Come on.
- As I get closer
and closer to Elizabeth,
I'm beginning to feel more
and more confident about this.
- Morning, sunshine.
- Good morning, mommy.
Mommy?
- You're not my mom!
- Mm-mm.
Good thing.
- Oh.
Oh, God, it hurts to move.
- I figured it would.
That way,
you can't kick me out.
- Doesn't it remind you
of when we were camping?
I could stay here all day.
- I don't think
I have a choice.
I think I left my credit card
at the bar the other night.
- Lizzie!
Are you up?
- Uh, yeah.
- Just got a call
from the wedding photographer.
He needs to change
his appointment
to 10:30 A.M. tomorrow.
- Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome!
- I actually forgot
I had that appointment today.
- I'm sorry, Liz,
I have to ask.
- Yes?
Why are you marrying
this guy?
- Excuse me?
- No, I'm just saying,
it's...
From what I've seen,
you're not very happy with him.
And if you don't mind me
saying,
he's kind of a dick.
- Wow.
- What, you disagree?
- What would you like
for me to do, Mitch?
Do you want me to dump Jake
and marry you?
- And who do you think
you are,
you're gonna come here
after ten years
and you're gonna
judge me?
- Wait a second.
For... ow.
For your information,
I barely made it
through Texas
coming out here
to find you.
If I want to judge,
I'll judge!
- Okay, now we're gonna
play that card?
The "I worked so hard
to find you"?
Come on, give me a break.
- It's no card.
- Fine.
I'll bite.
Laura!
There he is.
- Hey, Rudy...
- come here, you!
Bring it in.
Bring it in.
So... I heard you're spending
the night at my sister's.
- Uh, yes, sir.
- Did you have sex with her yet?
- Rudy!
- Sorry.
I'm just kidding.
But I heard she's good.
I'm just kidding!
Hey, would you like to hang out
with us a bit?
Me and my boys, we're gonna be
hanging around the fire,
saying a couple chants.
- What kinda chants?
- Well, number one,
our lord and savior, j. C.
- J...
- Jesus Christ.
- Right.
Can I ask
what the bonfire's about?
I mean, don't you guys
usually burn... Crosses?
- Whoa, whoa.
Who do you think we are?
- K.K.K.?
- What would
make you say that?
- It might have something to do
with the white robes.
- Laura, first of all,
they're not white...
they're taupe.
- You've heard of
the hell's angels?
- Of course.
- Well, they are
the heaven's angels.
- Oh...
- We're a small group,
but we're growing fast.
- The robes are what they call
angel shrouds.
- Yo, Rudy, the boys are getting
restless waiting on you.
How much longer
we gotta wait?
- Would you like to join us
for our ceremony this evening?
- If I refuse?
- I'll just have
the boys come over and, uh,
they'll just
kick the snot outta you.
- Let's chant!
- All right, well,
you boys have fun.
I'm outta here.
- You're going?
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- Yeah. A biker gang
called the heaven's angels
in Texas?
That's ridiculous.
- Rudy turned out to be
a really nice guy.
He gave me his card.
- You know what?
Jake proposed to me,
I said yes,
and we're getting married.
- Well, great.
Good. Fine.
Good for you!
- You know...
Buddy!
Come on,
let's wake Mitch up!
Wait... no, bu... no.
Buddy, n-n...
Aah!
- Excuse me.
- Oh, hey, man.
Sorry. We don't open
for another hour.
- Yeah, I know.
I was in here the other night.
I think I left
my credit card.
I was...
Playing the, uh,
whipping post.
- Yes!
I remember you!
You're awesome!
- Thank you.
- Yeah. No, man,
you're one tough
son of a bitch!
- Thank you.
Uh, the credit card.
- Oh, you don't just like
staring at each other
awkwardly.
Sorry. I'll be right back.
- Thank you.
I'll call you later.
- What are you doing here?
- Picking up my credit card.
What are you doing here?
- Nothin'.
I don't know what
you think you saw here,
but, uh...
You didn't see anything.
- Didn't say I did.
- Good.
- Mr. Mitch Becker...
Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Oh, and on tabs this high,
we automatically add 20%.
- You have a pen?
- Probably.
- I only got a few minutes,
whoever you are.
I... oh.
- Hello, Donna.
- Stanley Jones.
What brings you out here?
- Well, for starters,
I was hoping
that you would fix me one of
your delicious cups of coffee.
The house looks great.
- Thank you.
- How's Elizabeth?
I understand that she has
an old friend in town visiting.
- Oh, Mitch. He drove all
the way from Boston to see her.
She's so excited.
They haven't seen each other
since college.
- How heartwarming.
- You've never been good
at smalltalk, Stan.
Why are you here?
- I just wanna make sure
that she's going forward
with this wedding.
- Well, of course she is.
Why would you...
you don't think...
Oh, Stan!
They're just friends.
Trust me.
You have nothing to worry about.
- You're right, Donna.
I'm not very good
at small talk.
I want your assurance
that my son's wedding
is gonna go off
without a hitch.
It would be a shame
if I had to...
Sell certain assets
in order to make up my losses.
- Well, let me be
perfectly clear.
You can be well assured
that the wedding will go on
as planned.
- Thank you.
I can get the key in,
but then when I turn it...
oh!
Just the new paint
sticking to the door.
Thank you.
- Oh, I'm Elizabeth Carter.
- Hi, Elizabeth.
- And you are...
- Oh.
I'm bitch maker.
Mitch. Becker.
- Fourth floor.
What the hell?
Hey, roomie.
- Hi.
Mm.
Uh, well, I'll leave
you two alone.
- You know, we should
hang out some time.
- Gr-oss!
- That'd be great.
See ya.
- Yeah.
Bye.
- Bye.
- What happened
to you, man?
- Oh, I just fell in love.
- I just got high
in the quad.
- College.
- College.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey.
- Somebody had a long
day at work, huh?
- Yes.
- Care to join me?
You know I hate
drinking alone.
- Sure.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
Listen, Elizabeth,
I want to apologize
for the way...
- No, Mitch, honestly,
I'm the one
that owes the apology.
After I thought about it,
I can totally understand
why you felt that way
about Jake.
- Listen, I don't even
know him...
- no, no, just...
Let me finish, okay?
This is kind of difficult
for me to say.
My parents always thought
that they'd retired here.
And then my dad died suddenly,
and both of us
were really devastated.
Six months later,
I'm living in Los Angeles
and I'm about to get married,
and then that didn't happen
because I found my fiance
in bed with my best friend.
My life was kinda
going nowhere.
I felt like... Felt like
I needed to move home,
and then once I got here,
I found out my mom
was about to lose the house.
She got caught up in one of
those refinancing schemes,
and she had no choice
but to sell or be foreclosed.
- Mm. Wow.
- That's when I met Jake.
He came to look
at the house
and pretty soon realized that
all he could do was look at me.
I know it sounds
really silly,
but after
what I had been through,
it felt really nice.
We went to dinner.
I explained our situation.
And shortly after that,
he bought the house
and said that we could stay.
- For free?
- His family
has a lot of money.
- Ah, I see.
For free
as long as the two of you
are together.
- It's really not like that.
He proposed.
I said yes.
And here we are.
- What can I say
about that?
- I guess I don't really
need you to say anything.
- Thank you.
- Woman...
- shh.
- Potter residence.
- Hey, Donna,
is Elizabeth there?
- Oh, good morning, Jake.
I think she's awake... she must be
around here somewhere.
Let me try and fi...
it's for you.
- Hey, you.
- Hello, sweetheart.
Look, I'm sorry,
but I'm not gonna
be able to make
that photographer
appointment this morning.
- Uh...
Is... okay.
Is everything all right?
- No, everything's fine,
but my dad just wants
to show me
this building he's thinking
of purchasing.
You mind going on your own?
- I would like for you
to be there,
but if you can't,
I can do it by myself.
- That's my girl.
Okay. I'll see you
when I get back.
- What now?
- Jake has to go meet his dad,
so I get to go to
the photographer by myself.
- Want me to go with you?
- No.
I'm okay.
Thank you.
- Pretty please?
- No. Let me read you
your horoscope instead.
- Oh, please.
- Leo.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Um...
I was coming
to actually tell you
that I'm leaving to go meet
with the wedding photographer.
I'll be back
in a little bit, though.
- That's good,
'cause your mom asked me
to clean some stuff out
in the garage, so...
- She did?
That's nice of you.
Thank you.
- Oh, not a problem.
All right, I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
- Hey, douche bag,
you and me
gotta talk, bro.
- What is your problem now?
- What'd you tell her, man?
- I see the ankle
healed up nice.
- Screw my ankle, all right?
What did you tell her?
- I didn't tell her
anything, okay?
'Cause it would
devastate her.
- Give me a break.
You expect me to believe that?
After what I saw
last night?
- Last night?
There was nothing to see.
- I saw you!
I was right over there!
She kissed you!
And you kissed her back.
You love her, man!
You've always loved her.
Elizabeth made her choice,
okay?
And whether I like it or not,
I'm not gonna do anything
to screw up her life.
- Well, guess what, jerk off?
That's exactly what
you're doing.
Now, I'm gonna
be back in an hour.
Make up any bogus excuse
you want,
but when I get back,
your bags better be packed
and you better be
headed back to Boston.
Got it?
Whoa!
Buddy!
It's okay, buddy.
- Oh...
- Help me get him in the car.
- Uh... No. No.
- Where you going?
Jake, help me get buddy
in the car!
- What...
- Okay, buddy.
It's okay, I'm here.
One, two, three.
Okay, bud.
Okay, I got you.
I got you.
Donna.
Donna, get the car!
- Dr. Dana Burke,
please dial extension 202.
Dr. Burke, please dial
extension 202.
- Oh, honey,
honey, honey.
Honey.
I'm so glad you're here.
- Is buddy okay?
- Mitch is back there
with the doctor right now.
- I've called Jake
a hundred times.
He's not answering
his phone.
Mitch!
- Listen, it's gonna be okay.
- Oh, my God, your shirt.
- It's okay, all right?
The doctors are with him
right now.
He's gonna be out in a second
to let us know
what's going on.
- How is he?
- Well, we were able
to stop the bleeding
and repair the damage
to the leg and the abdomen.
- Is he gonna be okay?
- It looks very good.
He'll have a full recovery.
- Thank you.
- Thank Mitch.
It was Mitch's quick action
that saved buddy's life.
- Thank you.
- Can we see him?
- Sure. Just remember,
he's a little out of it.
He hasn't been moved
to recovery yet,
but I'm sure he'd like to see
his mom and dad.
- Oh, Mitch isn't his dad.
He's a friend visiting
in town.
- Excuse me.
Sorry to interrupt you,
but I have some paperwork
that needs filling out.
- No problem.
You two go.
- Thank you, mom.
- I'll take care of this.
- I'm just gonna give you guys
a couple minutes,
then we have to move him.
- You okay?
You wanna be alone?
- No.
Hey...
- I'm just glad
he's gonna be all right.
- Me too.
- Yeah.
Oh, honey.
Oh...
thank you, Mitch.
Thank you so much.
Okay. I'll see you both
at home.
- Drive safe, mom.
- Okay.
- I'm just happy
he's coming home in a few days.
That's great.
- It's Jake. I don't want
to deal with that right now.
You wanna go get
something to eat?
- You know, I know my timing
kinda sucks right now,
but, um... I think
I'm gonna go.
- Oh, okay.
Um...
See you at the house.
- No. I mean I'm gonna leave.
- Like for good?
Mitch, we still have
the wedding.
I need you there.
- You don't need me there.
- Yes, I do.
- Why?
Why do you need me there?
It's your wedding,
for Christ's sake.
- You never really talked
to me like that before.
And you know what, Mitch?
You're right.
Your timing could not be worse.
- Why is it so important
that I be at your wedding, huh?
You wanna rub it
in my face?
- Rub it in your face?
What are you talking about?
- God, jeez...
Jake is right.
I am a wuss.
You might as well just
make me the maid of honor.
- What does that mean?
- You don't get it, do you?
- Get what?
- I'm in love with you.
- Why would you
tell me that?
- I've wanted to tell you that
since the first time I met you.
Do you know why
I came to find you?
Do you remember
what we said to each other?
The day before graduation.
Ten years ago.
- Tell me.
Mitch, tell me.
- Take care of yourself.
- Hey.
Donna filled me in.
Are you okay?
- No.
- I know you just
wanna save me
how bad I wanna let you
'cause there's so much
I wanna be
and I don't wanna
regret you
but I miss you
when you're gone
I wanted this
so very long
and I feel a breakdown
coming on
- Hi. Is this Rudy?
- I'm losing it,
I gotta let you go
while I go through this
I'm losing it,
don't wanna say good-bye
but I can't do this
I'm losing it,
I know it's time
I tried it all
I loved and I won
and still I fall
but I'm finally losing it
so hard waking up alone
and chasing my dreams
it's so far
to walk this road
with no guarantees
and never know
that every song
reminds me of you
being gone
and I feel a breakdown
coming on
I'm losing it,
I gotta let you go
while I go through this
I'm losing it,
don't wanna say good-bye
but I can't do this
I'm losing it,
I know it's time
I tried it all
I loved and I won
and still I fall
but I'm finally losing it
oh, when I'm out of town
and you're not around
I'll be breaking down
I'm breaking down
- I'm looking
at the same numbers.
But, well, no, I can assure you,
it's all tax deductible.
It is.
Let's go through
last month's projected
and actually see
where we came out.
I think you're gonna
be very happy.
- I'm losing it,
I'm losing it
I'm losing it, I'm losing it
I'm losing it
I gotta let you go
while I go through this
I'm losing it,
don't wanna say good-bye
but I can't do this
I'm losing it
honey, I don't wanna
put you through this
I'm losing it,
baby, please don't cry
but I can't do this
I'm losing it
oh, oh, no
I'm losing it
oh oh
I'm losing it
I know it's time,
I tried it all
I loved and I won
and still I fall
but I'm finally
losing it
I'm losing it.
- You look beautiful.
Your father
would be so...
Proud today.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Elizabeth...
You need to stop.
Mitch isn't coming.
- I know. I just can't
stop thinking about him.
It's my wedding day, and all
I think about is Mitch.
- It may sound strange, but
I keep thinking about him too.
- Mother!
- What?
He's a nice republican.
- He's actually
a registered independent.
- On the outside.
Not in here.
- I miss him.
- Is she here?
- You're not supposed
to be here.
- Donna, I'm gonna be
married to this woman
in about 30 minutes.
I think it's okay
if I see her now, okay?
- No, no. Not until
she walks down that aisle.
- Fine. Fine.
You haven't seen Mitch
around, have you?
- No. He isn't here.
- Good.
'Cause the next time I see him,
I'm gonna put him
in the hospital... you got it?
- Will you stop with that?
He's the one who saved buddy
after you hit him and took off.
Besides... They made
a pact ten years ago
to marry each other
only for him to find out
that she's marrying you
instead.
So I think I'd cut him
a little slack, honey.
- They made a pact?
Gosh, Donna,
I don't know what to say.
That's so touching.
Come on, are you kidding me?
Who the hell even does that?
And that whole buddy thing,
by the way?
I was trying to protect
my family's reputation.
- Go back
to your friends, Jake.
We'll see you downstairs.
- Yeah, I'll see you
downstairs.
- Everything okay?
- Everything's fine.
It's terrific. So...
You ready to get married?
- How's dad?
Well, look, I'm gonna see
you guys Sunday anyway, okay?
Yes, I'm still
coming for dinner.
Okay?
I love you too.
All right, bye.
Buddy?
Buddy!
Ha ha ha!
Is that you?
You look great?
- I was about to say
the same thing about you.
Looks like someone
took up jogging.
- What are you doing here?
- I just thought
that you'd like to see
that buddy was doing okay.
- So you came all the way to
Boston to tell me buddy's okay.
- No, actually,
I came all the way to Boston
to show you
that buddy was okay.
- Why would you do that?
- Well...
- Will you stop with that?
He's the one who saved buddy
after you hit him and took off.
Besides... They made
a pact ten years ago
to marry each other,
only for him to find out
that she's marrying you
instead.
- Everything okay?
- Everything's fine.
It's terrific. So...
You ready to get married?
- Sorry.
- Whoa, compadre.
Where do you think you're going?
- Who the hell are you?
Get your hands off me!
Ow! Ow!
- Now, we can do this
the easy way,
or we can do this my way.
It's your choice.
- Mother... ow! Ow!
- Okay. It's my way.
Let's go.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have
your attention, please?
I'm sorry to inform you,
but there will no longer
be a wedding here today.
It seems that the bride to be
has had a change of heart.
And as I look around
this beautiful setting,
it seems none of you
are shocked.
- Excuse me, but you're
hurting my son.
- Yes, I am.
- Would you please stop?
- Where's Donna?
No worries.
Elizabeth called me.
Jake, it's over.
Don't come looking
for Elizabeth... ever.
If you do, you're not
gonna find her...
you're gonna find me.
And I'm from Texas.
That means
I'll barbecue his ass!
Oh!
- Y...
- no.
Learn to leave
on a high note.
- You gonna be okay?
- I'll be fine.
Take care of her.
- Will do.
- Thank you.
- Good night, everybody.
- You know what, guys?
I'm gonna go catch
the laker game.
- You don't have to worry
about him anymore.
Ha ha ha!
So where we heading?
- Boston.
- Ha ha! Beantown. Sweet!
- Hey, baby,
we just picked her up.
We're on our way.
- Hold on, girls.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo!
- Yee-haw!
- And we didn't stop
until we got here.
- Why would you do that?
- I needed to see you.
I wanted to make things
right between us.
- Well...
You saw me.
You...
buddy looks great.
- Mitch, wait.
It was the day
of graduation,
and you were talking to Dave
and I went over to steal you.
I told you what a special
friend you were to me...
And if I have a regret
it's that
I never gave you a chance.
I never gave us a chance.
So here I am
asking for a chance.
Mitch Becker,
will you do me the honor
of fulfilling a promise
that I made to you?
Will you marry me?
I love you, and I wanna
spend the rest...
- wait, stop.
I must have gone over
this moment
a thousand times in my head
and...
Never once did I ever imagine
it was going to be you
proposing to me.
You're the love
of my life.
Course I'm gonna marry you.
Wait, wait.
One condition.
We don't... we don't wait.
We do this.
No engagement.
No ceremony.
No photographers.
We just...
We do this right now.
We go down to city hall
and do it... what do you say?
Deal?
- I think I can do one better.
- It's such a long way
back to you
Hey, it's me.
Hold on, I'm gonna
put you on speaker.
Okay, you're on.
- What's up, my brother?
- Rudy!
- Hey, Mitch, what's happening?
- Oh, my gosh, Laura,
how are...
is Dave with you?
- He sure is.
- And I'm with her.
Ha ha ha!
So, man, any news.
- Well, I think we need
pastor Rudy.
We're getting married.
- Oh, congratulations.
- There you go, my man.
All right!
- Wait, wait.
Rudy's a pastor?
- Hell, yeah.
Online, baby.
You can get a license
or anything.
- How soon can you be here?
We wanna do it today.
- Uh, half an hour?
- Okay, we'll see you soon.
You know, they did say
that we had 30 minutes.
- Yes, they did.
Well, to quote my friend
Dave,
I did not predict that.
And if there's one thing
I've learned, it's...
- oh, wait, wait, wait.
Buddy!
- I'm sorry.
Where was I?
Ah, forget it.
I'm getting married!
Buddy come on!
- The feeling's all around me
and I can hardly wait
I'm still
that boy from Texas
and I'm already home
no matter where I am
I know I'm home
and I'm already home
no matter where I am
I know I'm home
- Now you know
what it feels like.
Ooh!
Turnabout.
Rah!
- When the girls
rule the world
when the girls rule
the world
when the girls
rule the world
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh,
oh oh oh
oh oh oh-oh-oh
a little less thinking,
a lot more drinking
throw your hands up
tonight you're dressed
to impress
don't know where
you'll wind up
life of the party,
pour more bacardi
till the sun's up
yes, we can, yes, we can,
yes, we can
the drinks are flowing
when we get going
life's so easy
steps up the side,
I can't hide
when the beat
starts moving through me
get the magic drink,
make him feel lovesick
I'm thinking maybe
yes, we can, yes, we can,
yes, we can
and if we have it our way,
then one day
the time would soon come
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah ah,
when the girls rule the world
wah ah ah
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
come with me
and feel the heat
heat heat heat
feel the heat
and dance with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
I've missed mischief
and missed misbehaving
it's a wild,
wild lust for life
that I've been craving
gotta party tonight
bumpin' till I-light
don't think twice,
roll the dice
naughty, never nice
I've missed mischief
and missed misbehaving
it's a wild,
wild lust for life
that I've been craving
gotta party tonight
bumpin' till I-light
don't think twice,
roll the dice
naughty, never nice
and if we have it our way
then one day
the time would soon come
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah ah,
when the girls rule the world
wah ah ah
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
come with me
and feel the heat
heat heat heat
feel the heat
and dance with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
it's a cold war
tainted words
I left so pure
do I walk away
or let you in,
let you in
if I could give you
advice
just give up
'cause you don't want me
to mess you up
but you won't believe
I'm not the one
now saying
that you're lovesick
I don't have the cure
it hurts so good
to pick your poison
when you're in pain,
I enjoy it
your hell is my paradise
paradise
when the sun goes down,
it's time to play
and you know
that I won't go away
your hell is my paradise
so pick your poison tonight
- And last,
I would just like to say
good luck in this new
chapter of our lives.
Excuse the cliche,
but they say that time flies
when you're having fun.
And I don't know
about you guys,
but I have had
the best time of my life here
at Madison college.
Now...
Point me to the keg.
- Look in the mirror,
mascara smeared
sipping belvedere
LA LA like a superstar
stunner shades,
oh, it's so cliche
she's no grenade
- What a douche.
- Bring it in here, girls.
- Why do I get the feeling
we'll be calling Bob
senator one day?
In 20 years, that guy's
gonna be the president.
- Everybody's having
a good time.
I'm already having a good time.
- Dude.
- Hey!
Don't start with me.
- Look, the first semester,
she was totally single,
and you were actually
the first person to meet her.
- Yeah, I know.
I know I blew it, okay?
I mean, usually I got
pretty good game.
But, you know,
I get around Elizabeth
and I get all loopy.
- Yeah, well...
Speaking of game,
how'd the breakup go with Rosie?
- What do you mean,
how'd it go?
She kicked me in the nuts.
- Ooh. Were you wearing?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
You had to know that was coming.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, here she comes.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hey.
- What are you guys
talking about?
- Baseball and...
- Oh.
Guy stuff?
- Yeah.
- So macho.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let me get...
who wants a beer?
- Yeah, I'll have...
- beer? Two beers, three beers?
- I'm okay.
Thank you.
So...
Tomorrow's graduation.
It's crazy, right?
- I know, right?
It's like four years
went by like that.
- Yeah.
You should fly to visit me
in San Diego.
- Mm...
Yeah, I don't know.
- You don't... you don't know
if you wanna come see me?
- No, no, it's not...
it's not what you think.
It's... You know.
What I told you.
- Oh, the claustrophobia
stuff.
- Yes, I...
- I kinda thought you were
kidding about that.
- No. I don't kid
about that.
I thought it was just elevators
and things like that.
- Yeah, it is, but then
it kicks in pretty good
The whole fear of plunging
to a fiery, screaming death
tends to amplify it a bit.
- Right.
- We can talk about
something else.
- Sure. But I do want you
to come visit me.
- Okay.
- Lizzie!
- Um, hold on one second.
I guess maybe one regret
that I have is that,
you know, with all the stupid
boyfriends and girlfriends
that we both had
that you and I never
gave it a shot.
Let's make a deal, Mitch.
In ten years, if we haven't
married other people,
we marry each other.
What do you say?
- Lizzie!
We're gonna leave
without you.
- Okay. Hold on.
What do you say?
- Sure!
- I love you so much,
Mitch.
- I love you too.
- Okay. I'll see you soon.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Huh? So?
How'd it go?
- To be honest,
I think I just got engaged.
Now listen,
I know what you're all thinking.
Yeah, right, he's gonna
wait ten years to marry her.
I will admit,
I did think about it.
For about a month.
Now, as you can see,
when I go on the first date,
I got it down pretty good.
I mean,
look at the way
they laugh at my jokes.
You can't fake that.
Although with women,
you never really can tell.
But first date...
I'm king.
When we get a little deeper
in the relationship...
- Mitch, this is the best
birthday dinner ever.
You'd better be careful,
mister.
I might just use
the "I" word tonight.
- That's when things
go kablooey.
It's your birthday?
- Don't ever call me again.
- For the last time,
my name is Eleanor,
not Elizabeth, jerk!
- Well, ten years later,
I'm still single.
And I heard that Elizabeth
already got married,
so I guess it's just not
meant to be.
- Okay.
This is from me.
- Thank you, Karen.
- Happy Birthday, Mitch.
- Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, come on.
Look at that.
- Nice watch.
What'd that run you?
- Easy!
Thank you, Karen.
You're welcome.
- Seriously, I, uh,
I feel truly blessed
to have friends like you.
Are these wonderful gifts
are just too much, so...
- You're welcome!
- Thank you.
Most of you.
- Is this a party, or what?
- Look at you!
You made it!
- Hey, dude, I took the last
ferry from montauk,
got here in no time.
- And yet, you never visit.
- Nice hat.
- Thank you very much.
This is my good friend
Dave breem
from college, everybody.
- This a birthday party
or a funeral?
Come on!
- Funeral.
- Hey, hey, hey, easy.
Now, who scored
this month's bonus
and is picking up
tonight's check, huh?
- To Mitch.
To Mitch.
- Thank you very much.
- Salud.
- Waitress!
Another round.
Cheap stuff?
- Good night, ladies!
- Hey, guys, it's last call.
Would you like anything else
before I close out your tab?
- No, I think
just the check, thanks.
- Uh, um...
I would like to buy
me and my buddy
two shots of whiskey.
Why don't you, uh...
Keep the change?
Huh?
- You always know
the right thing to do, man.
- That is because I'm the ying
to your Yang.
Oh!
- What?
Oh, my... dude.
- Happy Birthday.
- Come on!
- Mm-hmm.
- You kept this?
- Ten years, man.
How you holding up?
- Eh.
Man, if she only waited,
we would have been great
together.
- Yeah, I know.
- Eh. Stupid to think
a girl like her
can go ten years
and not find somebody.
I mean, it's not like
I didn't try.
I mean, I scoured
the Internet, you know?
Facebook, Twitter...
nothing.
This woman's off the grid.
Thank you.
- Well, what if I told you...
- oh, my God,
who ordered the cabo?
Seriously,
I said bottom shelf, guys!
You know what?
I bet you it was damn Carl.
- Dude, would you stop?
In two seconds,
you're not even
gonna care about that.
- Yeah, that I'd like.
- Then this you'll love.
You sitting down?
- Yeah, Dave.
I'm sitting down.
- Okay, okay.
She never got married.
- No way.
- Yes, way!
- No, no, no, 'cause I read
in the alumni mag...
are you messing with me?
- I'm not messing with you.
- Don't mess with me.
- I'm not messing with you.
In fact, I'm trying to help you.
I read the same thing too.
But I called the alumni office.
She never got married.
This is her last known
address in San Diego.
- San Diego.
Happy Birthday!
It's meant to be, man!
- This might be meant to be.
- This is really meant to be.
- This might be meant to be.
- I'll drink to that.
- Mmm!
- Oh, my God.
Ugh...
- Give me my change!
Dude, there's such better
Mexican in this town.
Why do you keep going
to this dump?
- 'Cause it's got...
it's fiesta hour.
We got, you know,
free drinks.
- Uhh... But it's... ugh.
So what are you gonna do?
- Be honest?
Probably same thing
I've always done... nothing.
- Can I be honest?
That's stupid, man.
Come on... go after the girl!
- She lives a long way away,
and I am terrified of flying.
- Then drive.
- What about my job?
- You hate your job.
- What about my fish?
- I'll feed your fish.
- What about my plants?
- I'll water 'em.
- What if she
doesn't love me back?
- Well, what if she
love me back?
- All right.
You're an animal.
- Come on, man.
What if she does?
You'll never know unless
you get in this car
and go find out.
Yo, yo!
Thanks for the cocktails!
- Carl?
- Yeah.
- Douche.
- Douche.
- We're heading to val's.
You and your buddy wanna come?
- Yeah, Mitch, come on.
Come for a night cap.
- Yeah, Mitch.
Come!
- I'm gonna have to pass.
- What, do you got something
better to do?
- Yes, I do.
I'm going to San Diego.
Yeah! All right!
I'll come.
- Riding a narrow road
under skies so blue
hiding that I am
I'm searching for you
along the passersby
I keep looking in vain
day after day I ride
towards the setting sun
on the road traveled less
- Okay, so driving
across country
and just showing up
at her place with no warning?
Some people
might think it's crazy.
Or creepy.
But I think it's romantic.
toing and froing
gotta get 'em now,
gotta get your goal
gotta figure out what the hell
you know on your own
time to push the envelope,
runnin' out of rope
slipping down the slope,
looking for answers
I can't seem to find
- Bam.
Uh!
hey
- hey
I'm wastin' my time
get some more of the story
into the grind
gotta get 'em now,
gotta get your goal
gotta figure out...
- Wow, you're a long way
away from home.
Hey, there.
- Uh, hi.
- Where ya headed?
- Uh, San Diego.
- You look exhausted.
How long you been driving?
- Sheesh.
About 11 hours.
- What's your name,
patriot?
- Mitch.
- Hey, Mitch.
Nice to meet ya.
I'm Laura.
- Hi.
- You know, I run
a bed and breakfast
just up the road.
- Oh, well, uh...
That's okay.
- Come on.
I didn't meant to startle ya.
But you just look too cute
not to meet.
I got a nice bed
and a hot shower.
I was even gonna cook.
You like spicy?
Yeah, I don't know.
Mmm. Oh, my gosh.
That was fantastic.
Thank you.
- That's sweet.
There's more if you like.
- After 11 hours of driving
and three glasses of wine
and a meal like that...
Just point me to bed.
I am done.
- Mmm. Bed.
That sounds real nice.
Oh...
You really are cute.
Don't move.
- Wh...
- hello.
Oh, hey, Rudy.
It's my brother.
It'll just be a sec.
- Okay.
- Really?
That's kinda last minute.
But I have a guest here.
All right,
I'll see ya in a bit.
My brother and his friends
get together once a week
and they lost
their usual place, so...
He asked if he could
come here.
But I said he had to be
real quiet.
Um...
I'll just...
Probably...
- Okay.
Who is she,
and what's her name?
- What do you mean?
Uh...
Elizabeth.
I haven't seen her
since college,
and we made this pact
back then
that if we weren't married
in ten years,
we were gonna marry
each other.
So here it is ten years
later,
and, uh...
I'm gonna track her down.
- You made the old friend
college
ten-year pact?
- Sounds kinda dumb
when you say it like that.
- No, it is kinda dumb.
- Maybe, but...
I have to try.
- Are you sure?
- If I had a nickel
for every time a beautiful
woman like yourself
tried to take me to bed,
including right now...
- You'd have a nickel?
- Maybe a dime.
- Well, she's lucky
to have you,
even if she doesn't know it.
- Thank you.
- I would love to find
some guy
to take me away
from this life.
- You? I'm sure you have
plenty of offers.
- I seem to be attracted
to losers.
- Wait a minute.
Did she just call me a loser?
I haven't felt that awkward
since my first day of college.
- Here we go.
- Whoop! Yeah.
- College!
- All right!
Got in.
- Mitch.
- Oh.
I'm Dave.
- Hey.
Cool!
- Okay, all right.
This'll work.
Now that that's settled,
I'm gonna go take a whiz.
College!
- College.
O-ma-o-ma-my-ma...
O-ma-o-ma-my-ma...
- What the f...
Aah! Ohh!
Ohh!
Mitch?
A-are you all right?
- I'm fine.
Thank you.
- I thought I heard
a crash in there.
- Uh...
I just dropped
some change on the table.
I'm good.
- Honey, can you open
the door, please?
- Ohh...
Coming.
Ohh... Ooh.
See? All good.
- Actually,
I'm glad you're awake.
- Oh, really?
- My brother and his friends
are outside,
and he'd like to meet you.
- Your brother what?
- He'd like to meet you.
- Do you think
that's a good idea?
I mean, he seems...
Pretty busy with the boys
and all.
- Laura! Get your sorry butt
out here with your friend now.
- Rudy, don't push me!
Mitch is getting dressed
and will be out in a minute!
Sorry.
- That's okay.
- If you could...
If you could just get dressed
and come out with me,
it would be really great.
- I'll be out in a sec.
- Okay.
I'm dead!
- I knew about you
as soon as I met you.
- As did I you, sir.
- Sir.
- Sir?
Well, look out, everybody.
Here comes sir Rudy!
- Well, I gotta get going.
Got a long drive ahead of me.
- Hey, listen, we are gonna
be out in Zuma
in the next couple weeks.
If you need any help,
you call.
Deal?
- Deal.
- Ah!
- ah!
And thanks for
that all-American burger.
- You're welcome.
- I know he can be
an obnoxious jerk.
But he's my brother.
- It's family.
Hey, Laura,
thank you for everything.
And take care of yourself.
- You too, darling.
Now, go find Elizabeth.
Have your friend call me.
- Will do.
- So hot,
look at that body
ooh, girl
I'm gonna do
something naughty
Strawberries and cream.
If you know this...
Listen, babe, wait.
Yello?
- Hey, man.
- Oh, hey, man!
Where are you?
- Texas.
- Texas?
Only two things in Texas...
and you're not a steer.
- How's it going?
You got a number for me?
- Sorry, but you're really...
Not gonna like this.
- Aw, dude,
after the night I had,
it's not even gonna matter.
Just shoot.
Yeah, she doesn't
live in, um, San Diego.
She lives in Hawaii.
- Hawaii?
- Yeah, dude, Hawaii.
But look, you can do this.
- How am I gonna get
to Hawaii?
Is there a boat?
- No, dude.
Not unless you want to
spend $5,000.
But you can take a flight.
What the...
- I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.
I will book you... come here.
I'll book you a ticket.
Right there.
Perfect, baby, just...
- all right, look,
just book it.
And I got the number of
a smoking hot woman
I'll give you, okay?
- Oh, really?
One sec.
How hot?
- Just book the ticket.
- All right, okay.
Guess what.
All right, one second.
Ooh... Pow!
All right, mm-hmm.
You owe me $600.
- Fine.
- Call you back.
I'm in the middle of something.
Safe flight.
Ooh! Hit me one time.
- We got you in 21b.
It's a middle seat.
Apologize.
That's all we have.
Have a good flight.
Mahalo.
- Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
Please make sure you are
with your bags at all times.
Do not leave bags
unattended.
- You okay?
'Cause you don't look well.
- I-I don't like flying.
- Oh, God, me neither.
It's just gross.
Hey, look, uh...
I was gonna pound half of this
before the flight.
No need to waste it.
You wanna share?
- How'd you get that past
security?
- I lifted it off
a duty-free.
- Welcome to the amarillo
international airport.
For your safety,
please obey the following
airport guidelines.
- Drink deeply.
Yeah.
- Oh, my goodness.
Come to daddy.
Mm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mm! Mm!
- Oh, yeah, baby.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
You're welcome.
- Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
We are now boarding
aloha flight 3345
to Honolulu.
- Um... That's me.
Is that you?
- Uh, that's me.
- Yah, that's us.
That's good.
That's us.
All right.
All right.
I'll, uh... See you on the plane.
All righty.
Keep that.
It's for you.
- Boarding group 4.
Only those passengers
with a 4 on their boarding pass
should come to the gate.
- Ah! We're going down!
I'm so sorry.
It's my phone.
I'm sorry.
It's Dave.
Hello.
- Dude, oh, good, I got you.
Where are you?
- I'm boarding right now.
- No! Get off.
I was wrong.
Elizabeth
is not in Hawaii.
She's.
- Yeah.
- Your pilot's drunk.
- Don't get on the plane.
- Where am I going?
- She's in Pasadena.
- Pasadena?
- You're welcome.
- Morning.
- Morning, honey.
- Anything in there
that I need to know?
- Once again, not unless
you like politics.
- Mm, my favorite.
I don't know how you read that
day after day.
Doesn't it drive you nuts?
- If you don't read
about what's going on
in this country, Elizabeth,
how can you expect to be
an educated voter?
- Vote?
What's that?
Mom, I'm kidding.
God.
- I was thinking
of going over
and taking in a movie today.
Care to join me?
- I would love to,
but I have an appointment
with Mrs. Stanton and her kids.
- The family you sponsor?
- Yeah. They're part of
my training.
Three weeks, and then
I'm a full-time social worker.
And I have to go
get ready for work.
What time did they say
buddy was gonna be ready?
- 5:00.
- Thank you.
- Turn on rush in the car.
- She must be unlisted,
'cause I got nothing.
- No, I know, I tried...
I tried everybody.
What would you do...
did you try Becky?
Maybe you should give
her a call.
- Oh, Becky?
- Hey.
- That chick scares me.
- Ah...
Yeah, try Becky and then
get back to me, all right?
- I'll text her.
- Okay.
Take care, buddy.
- Peace!
- God!
- Don't freak out.
- Whoa... whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
- What the hell
you doing with my girl?
- I wasn't doing anything!
- Shut up!
- J-just don't cut me.
- I said shut up.
- Damn it, Eddie,
just leave me alone.
- So, uh... How long
this been going on?
- There's nothing going on.
- He gives me
everything you don't.
- What?
- What?
- You just don't love me!
- So I don't love you, huh?
Then what's this then?
- What the hell am I
supposed to do with that?
- Fine.
Choke on it.
- Hey!
Is that how you want her
to remember the big question?
Listen,
do you know how long
some people wait
their whole lives
to be with the one person
they love,
and you two morons
have found each other,
and you're wasting
precious time
acting like children.
Now, she obviously loves you
if she's jumping in a car
with a complete stranger...
Right?
- Right.
- Looking to get your attention.
Now, he obviously loves you
if he's willing to go
to prison for life over you.
- Well, it'd probably be
10 to 12 for good behavior.
- The point is the two of you
are right here right now,
and you know what you want.
- I'm so sorry, baby.
I just get worried
you're gonna leave me.
- I love you so much,
and I want you to be
my one and only.
- Oh, Eddie, I just want you
so bad right now.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Why don't you hop back here
and give me some
of that sweet-smelling sugar.
- I'm, uh...
I'm gonna step out.
- Daddy's waiting
for you, baby.
- New car, caviar
living like a superstar
she's no hater,
just a taker
bona fide love faker
just a hard heart breaker
looking for a money-maker
hey
- I wouldn't know,
but I imagine
the sex right after a marriage
proposal's pretty good.
I just hope it's quick too.
And not messy.
- Round,
get that dirty money
round,
you'll never take it from me
give her bling,
diamond rings
give her gold by the pound
money money money money
makes the girls go round
- Four-letter word...
For a female ending in "unt. "
Ha.
Aunt.
A-u-n-t.
Carter residence.
- Mrs. Carter.
Yes.
- H-hello?
H...
hello?
Damn it.
Yes?
- Mrs. Carter...
- whatever you're selling,
I'm not buying.
But thank you for trying.
- You on the cell phone,
pull over now!
Welcome to California.
- Hello.
- Hi, Mrs. Carter.
Please don't hang up.
- Who is this?
Is this acorn?
- No. My name's Mitch Becker.
I'm an old college friend
of Elizabeth's.
I was trying
to get in touch with her.
- Uh-huh.
Pecker.
- No. Becker, with a "b. "
- Oh.
Oh, Mitch!
Mitch!
Oh, I'm so sorry.
- I was trying to get
in touch with Elizabeth.
I'm in town.
I'd like to see her.
- Oh, she'll be so excited
to hear from you.
Oh, my goodness.
Listen, do you have
one of those g. S.P. Thingies
in your car?
If you do, you could meet her
at the dog groomer.
She's picking up her dog
at 5:00.
- That'd be great.
Um...
- Well, let me get you
the address then.
Oh, she'll be so surprised
to see you!
- Hi, Lizzie.
- Hey, Sally.
Is buddy ready?
- You betcha.
I'll go get him.
Thanks.
Knock it off!
Shut up!
Hey, I said quiet!
Go see mommy.
There she is!
- How are you?
How do you feel, boy?
- He did great, as always.
- Oh, thanks.
You wanna go
on a run later?
Okay!
- How's the training going?
- Good. I'm almost done.
Sounds crazy back there.
How are you?
- Uh, honestly,
I'm thinking cats.
Buddy, no!
- Ohh!
God!
- Oh, my gosh!
Buddy, stay!
Bad dog!
Sir, are you okay?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Are you all right?
Oh, my God, I feel so bad.
- Elizabeth.
- Mitch?
Back soon, mom.
Welcome home, buddy.
Pink toenail Polish.
I got beaten up.
- I'm speechless!
- No.
It's really you.
- It's really me.
- You look great.
- I was just about to say
the same thing about you.
- So what are you doing here?
You look like you need
to tell me something.
Are you sick?
You're not sick, are you?
- No. No, no.
Uh...
What about you?
Last I heard,
you were married.
- Hmm. Uh, no, not yet.
I was going to,
and that didn't happen.
It wasn't, um...
Really my choice.
What about you?
- Me.
- Mm-hmm.
Married?
- I would have thought
you'd be married by now.
- Funny you should say that.
- Why?
- It's...
It's funny because I...
I, um...
Have to go to the bathroom,
and I will be right back.
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
Oh, come on, Mitch.
Get it together, man!
You've been waiting on this.
It's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be good.
You got this.
You got this.
Really. 'Cause now you're
talking to your penis.
That's fantastic.
Great.
Elizabeth...
We made a promise
to each other
ten years ago.
I'm here
to honor that promise.
I'm here to say to you,
"will you marry me?"
I'm sorry.
- Good luck, bro.
- Jake, remember
how I told you about
my college best friend
who was a guy,
and you said
that it was impossible
for guys and girls
to be friends,
'cause the guy always wants
to get in the girl's pants?
- Well, no, babe, what I
actually said was only guys
who are friends
with attractive women can't be.
- Jake Jones, meet my college
best friend Mitch Becker.
- How you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, wait a minute.
I do remember!
Yeah, from some of the college
photos that you showed me.
- Yes!
- I didn't recognize you
without that perm.
- Ha ha ha.
- Knock it off.
- I'm just messing around.
Friend?
- Friends.
- Good. That's better.
Because I could not have you
come to my wedding
hating my fiance.
- Huh?
- Jake and I
are getting married.
- Really?
Congratulations.
When?
- Ten days.
- That's fantastic!
- You should stay
for the wedding!
Would you?
- Well, while he
contemplates that,
I'll go ahead
and pay the check.
- I'll get it.
- Okay.
- Just tell him
I'll be there in a sec.
I'm on my way, okay?
God!
Oh, wait a minute.
I have something for you.
- You do?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
- No!
Babe, it's beautiful.
Thank you.
- Wait a minute.
I just gave you a wedding ring.
I need a little something
extra than that.
Mmm.
- Mm. Thank you.
- She didn't think I could get
the ring resized
in time for the wedding.
- I didn't say that.
- But I did,
and she was wrong.
Like she always is.
- Okay, don't listen to him.
I am not always wrong.
- Oh, really?
What about the Christmas party
last year... remember?
- You're gonna bring up
the Christmas party?
- Yeah, I'm... you gotta
hear this, rich.
This is hysterical.
- Mitch.
- We're at this lame
Christmas party last year,
something for her mom's
whatever.
- Nice.
- They finally break out
this karaoke machine,
so I start doing
a couple of ll cool j songs.
It was hilarious.
Seriously.
- Honestly, it was awful.
- It was awesome.
Are you kidding?
The early stuff.
Not the later crap.
Anyway, so we get ready
to leave at the end of the night
and then Elizabeth here
starts dousing
her Debbie downer spray
all over the place,
getting on my case
about drinking too much,
having too much fun,
we gotta call a cab.
- So did you?
- No, I didn't call a cab.
She called a cab.
But I was fine to drive.
- No, you weren't.
That's why I called the cab.
- Point is
is that she was wrong.
She was wrong about that.
She's wrong about this thing.
She's wrong a lot of the time.
- I think we get it, okay?
- I think it's cute, though.
- Hey, okay. Um...
How about where I could
get a hotel around here.
- No. You'll just stay
with me and my mom.
- Whoa, whoa,
we got a big week ahead of us.
We got the wedding.
We got the race.
- What race?
- Jake and I have been training
for this couples marathon
for like six months.
- Couples marathon.
- Yeah.
It's a pretty big deal.
They only let like
12 couples even do it.
- You should come
with us tomorrow.
- What, you want him
to go to the race too?
Yeah, fine, why don't you come
to the bridal shower
while you're at it?
- Well, I don't want to impose.
- You're not imposing, and I'm
not gonna take no for an answer.
We have the perfect
guest room.
- Okay.
- And you'll stay
for the wedding?
- Sure.
- It's gonna be
just like old times!
- Just like old times.
- Sweetheart,
we really gotta get going.
- I have to go see Jake's dad
for a couple of things
for the wedding,
but I'll see you at the house.
Do you remember
how to get there?
- Yeah, yeah.
It's in the GPS.
- Okay. See you.
- Later, rich.
- It's Mitch.
Turn left.
In one mile, turn left.
You have arrived
at your destination.
- Yello.
- Yeah, hey, it's me.
- Oh, hey!
- Yeah, good job, nostradamus.
She's getting married
in ten days.
- All right, that's great!
- No, not to me.
- Oh...
I did not predict that.
- Yeah. I got a prediction.
When I get home, I'm gonna...
- Hi.
- Hi, Joyce, how are you?
- Good to see you.
- You too.
- Could you please tell my
father I'm here to see him?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Sir, your son is here.
No, he's with Elizabeth.
Oh, okay.
You can go in.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
He just said Jake,
Elizabeth.
- Ah. It's okay.
Just go.
Damn it.
- Didn't I tell you
to come alone?
- She was with me.
What could I do?
- You drop her off at home
on the way.
Have a seat.
- What do you want, dad?
- Big Chinese exporter's
thinking about hiring this firm.
- That's great, but what does
that have to do with me?
- It always has something
to do with you.
Don't you wanna run
this firm one day?
- Are you thinking about
letting me handle the account?
- No. What,
do you think I'm crazy?
- Then why am I here, dad?
- Um...
You and, uh,
you and her doing okay?
I mean,
the wedding's still on?
- Well, if by her you mean
Elizabeth,
then the answer's yes,
the wedding's still on.
- She sign the prenup?
- So that's it?
Good old dad looking out
for the family interests?
And forget about love,
but let's just make sure
the money's safe, right?
- Did she sign the prenup?
- Yeah.
Yeah, she signed it.
Two days ago.
- Well, that's good, son.
That's good.
I can't afford any...
I mean, we can't afford
any problems,
any surprises.
The Chinese believe
that a good home life
is essential
to a good work life,
and their vetting process
is extremely thorough.
Any shenanigans
could blow this whole deal,
and we're talking big dollars.
I would appreciate it
if you didn't
embarrass your family
or this firm.
- Not to worry, dad.
I'll do my best
not to embarrass you.
- Good. Now that we're
on the same page,
you can go.
- Is this it right here?
- Yeah, this is it.
Oh, buddy, get down!
- Oh, that's okay,
Mrs. Carter.
I'm a dog person.
- Good news for you,
buddy.
Look,
I call you Mitch.
Why don't you just
call me Donna?
- Okay. Thank you, Donna.
- You're welcome.
You're welcome. If you need
anything, ask buddy.
- Okay.
- All right?
I'll be right downstairs.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
Now what, huh?
- You're not gonna
say anything
about what just happened
in there?
- You know, I think
it's really ridiculous
that you got this guy
staying at your place.
- Who, Mitch?
What's wrong with Mitch?
- Elizabeth, it's ten days
before our wedding.
Now, all of a sudden,
you have some ex-boyfriend...
- he's not my ex-boyfriend.
- That's right.
He's your best friend.
And ten days before
our wedding,
he decides to shack up with you
at your place?
- Oh, come on.
- Actually, it's not
even your place, though,
is it?
It's my place.
I...
I can't believe you would
throw that in my face.
You knew my mom and I's
situation.
You're the one
that came up with the idea
for us to live there.
I don't know what your dad
said to you up there,
but please stop taking it out
on me, okay?
- You gonna sign
the prenup?
- What?
- Are you gonna sign
the prenup?
- Jake, I haven't even
really had a chance to read...
- Elizabeth, I really
need you to sign that.
- Well, I've had a lot
on my mind with the race
and the wedding.
I'm working...
- Really? You've had
a lot on your mind?
I've had a lot
on my mind too.
I've had the race on my mind,
the wedding on my mind.
I have this prenup on my mind
that you seem to never
want to talk about.
Now guess what...
now I have Mitch on my mind.
Thanks for that.
Some dweeb I don't even know
who's staying with
my-soon-to-be wife
in the house that I paid for.
- I really don't want to talk to
you about this right now, okay?
Can you please
just take me home?
- Fine.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
- Love you too.
Welcome back.
Okay, now there has been
a lot of talk about voter fraud,
and we are here to discuss...
- hey, Donna?
- Hey.
- Yeah, I was gonna
go grab a beer.
Is anyplace close by?
- Oh. Up the street,
there's lucky's.
- Perfect. Can you tell
Elizabeth where I am?
- Of course. I think buddy
and I can handle that.
Right, buddy?
Have fun.
- Thank you.
Ooh!
Ah-oh!
- Hey, groin shots
are off-limits.
Anything else is fair game.
- Hi.
- Hey. What can I get you?
- I'll just have a beer,
please.
- Sure.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Would you like
to start a tab?
- Sure.
- Aah!
- What is that?
- It's called the whipping post.
I'll have a beer too.
Put it on this guy's tab.
- Oh!
Where's Elizabeth?
- I dropped her home.
- Ah.
What are you doing here?
Don't you have
a big race tomorrow?
- What are you doing here?
- I'm just having a beer.
- No. What are you
doing here?
- Why would anybody
do that to themselves?
- I knew you were a wussy
from the moment I met you.
- I'm not a wussy.
I'm just not stupid.
- Oh, yeah?
Prove it.
- No.
See? Wussy.
- You actually challenging me
to a rat tail competition?
- Tell you what.
Bet 1,000 to your 100
you tap out first.
- Hey, everybody.
Jake just bet $1,000 to...
I'm sorry, what's your name?
- Bitch.
- Mitch.
- To Mitch that he can
take him in the whipping post!
Whipping post, whipping post!
Whipping post,
whipping post,
whipping post, whipping post,
whipping...
- let's do this.
- Whipping post, whipping post!
Whoo!
- Let's do it!
Okay, mates,
here are the rules.
Trade off whips with your towels
until someone taps out.
You tap out, you lose.
No head or groin shots.
Everything else is fair game.
If after five whips
there's still no winner,
we dunk those towels
in ice water, boys.
Understand?
- Yeah, I understand...
- Yeah, okay.
Let's whip it out, boys.
- So, uh, you know, how does
this get going here?
- Are these regulation towels?
- Oh!
- Ooh!
- See that, see that?
Kick his ass, Nate!
- Come on.
- See what you got.
Ow!
- Seems kinda dumb.
Ah!
- Wanna tap out?
- I'm good.
Okay. Okay.
- Sure you wanna do this,
college friend?
Ow! God!
- Right in the nipple.
- That's a good shot.
Good shot.
- Need a break in this,
or what?
- No, we keep going.
Oh.
- Whoo!
Man, what...
oh, God!
- Oh!
- That was right there!
That was...
- sorry. I don't know.
I've never done it before.
- Keep your whips up.
- All right, I'll keep it up.
- Get this guy?
- We keeping score or...
- Ooh!
- That was a little high.
No, I know, it's...
- let's keep it down.
- You want out?
You good?
You w... ow!
Son of a...
You felt that one,
didn't ya?
- Ow! He's hitting
the same spot!
Come on! Can't he
move it around a little bit?
- You all right?
- Yeah!
One-trick pony?
Oh, what were the rules
again?
- Mm!
Aah!
- These two idiots
have actually made it
to the wet whip.
It is now time
for these two fools
to whip each other
at the same time.
- Just bow out, man.
- That's not gonna happen.
You bow out.
- Let's go.
Come on.
- Okay, let's whip it out,
boys.
- Let's whip it out.
Hey!
Are you both crazy?
That's it.
Show's over.
- Boo!
- Come on!
- What were you both
thinking?
- Talk about this tomorrow?
- I'm good with that.
- I'm taking Mitch home.
And I'm gonna see you
at 10:00 A.M.
What is that, your mom?
Ha ha ha!
Come on!
- You had him, Jake.
- Thanks.
- Somebody should tend
to those wounds,
but you're definitely
too drunk to drive.
- You got any suggestions?
- I live right upstairs.
- Tell me what the hell
are you thinking of
when you say
you say that I'm not
everything you want
Ah...
Ohh...
Oh!
Gah!
Ah!
- What the hell
were you thinking?
Do you need some help?
- If you've come to yell at me,
I think I'm suffering
enough as it is.
- I'm not gonna yell at you.
- Here.
- What the hell
were you thinking?
- Oh, my gosh.
Oh...
Ah!
- I'm sorry.
Ow...
- Oh, my gosh!
Where did you find this?
- Oh. Friggin' Dave.
He was busting my balls
about that, so...
- You ate so many hot dogs
that day.
- 27. I remember
every one of them.
- I ate a lot too.
- If memory serves,
you had three.
- Three is a lot.
- Three's a lot?
- Yes. I mean, not as many
as 27, but...
- Well, no, yeah,
look at my face,
and, you know,
look at yours.
- We're babies.
Okay. I'm off to bed.
Good night.
- Good night.
Hey.
Don't you judge me.
You wanna sleep together?
- College.
- College.
Come on, open!
Hi.
- Hi.
- I can't get my door open.
You think you could
help me out?
- Your door...
Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah, it's stuck.
- Um...
Your door's stuck.
Yeah, let me, uh,
let me take a look.
- All runners should be
making your way
to registration now.
He said 10:00 A.M.
Right?
- Yeah.
- Maybe he got held up.
- I don't know, but I can't
wait for him anymore.
I'm gonna go register,
okay?
- We'll be right here,
honey.
- Donna, what's the deal
with this guy?
I don't know.
Oh, Mitch, I don't know.
Speak of the devil...
- Hey!
Hey, where have you been?
And what... why aren't you
dressed for the race?
- What... what?
Oh, my God!
Are you drunk?
- No, I'm not drunk.
I was drunk.
I'm just hung over now.
- Mitch, could you
grab his stuff?
- Hey, don't... don't...
don't touch my stuff, bro.
All right?
- If she sees you like this,
it will kill her.
- Relax, Donna.
Give me a break.
Where is she?
- She's at registration.
- Hey, I wasn't talking
to you, dirt bag!
You know, we could finish
what we started
last night if you want.
- All right,
let's go, 12-step.
- Oh, great.
That's what I thought.
Let's do this thing.
Ow! Ow!
- Nate...
Get away from me!
Ah... Uh...
- I'll go find a doctor.
- What happened?
- You do that!
- Whatever happens,
do not tell Elizabeth
you've been drinking.
- Just quit yelling at me!
God, I have a headache!
- Good luck to you.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Team name.
- Welcome back, Carter.
- Okay.
Here you go.
These are for you.
- Thanks.
- I'll see you
at the starting line.
- Okay.
- Next.
Team name.
- I'm not gonna be too sure
until I look at some x-rays.
But what I see so far looks like
a high ankle sprain.
- Ow! Ow!
- Oh, no, what happened?
Speak.
- I-it was a freak
accident, babe.
I stepped out of the car
and I rolled my ankle.
- Is that the truth?
Mitch.
- It's pretty much
what I saw.
- Do you think there's
any possibility
of him running today?
- Babe, he's a doctor.
I can't run.
- Like I say,
I gotta look at some x-rays.
- So that's it?
What about Mrs. Stanton
and her kids?
- I think the pledges
will understand.
- Final call
for registration.
- I don't think so.
- Well, we're not
gonna find out,
'cause I'll run.
- What?
- If you'll have me.
- I will so have you.
Can you handle Jake?
Mitch and I have
a race to run.
- Wait, whoa...
wait, wait, wait...
- go get 'em, guys.
- Wait, I...
- shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
- Ow!
- All couples should be
making their way
to the starting line.
- I got it, I got it.
- How long is this thing
anyway?
- Probably best
if you don't know.
Just remember,
keep an even pace
and remember
that you're doing it
for Mrs. Stanton and her kids.
- Mrs. Stanton
and her kids. Right.
Okay. This gonna
mess up my pedicure?
- The Pasadena couples marathon
is about to begin.
- I should have gone
to the bathroom first, right?
- Ladies and gentlemen,
do not break your connection,
or you will be disqualified.
Also, make sure
you stay in the course,
especially when you hit
trail hill.
- Trail what?
- Shh!
- There... there's a hill?
- In your position.
On your marks...
Get set...
- But you took control
of me
you pulled the rug
from under my feet
so this is the way
it's supposed to be
I never knew
a love like this
when I was searching
forever
to find someone better
to show me
a love like this
- Ow!
- Oh, stop complaining.
- Donna, I can do it
by myself, all right?
- Oh, shut up.
I'm helping.
- I can't believe she's running
that race with Mitch.
I bet they don't even
finish.
- Oh, ho!
She will.
I just hope Mitch
survives.
- Jesus is on the main line
tell him what you want
oh, Jesus is on
the main line
tell him what you want
Jesus is on the main line
tell him what you want
call him up
and tell him what you want
Jesus is on the main line
tell him what you want
oh, Jesus is on
the main line
tell him what you want
Jesus is on
the main line
tell him what you want
call him up
- good job, guys.
- And tell him
what you want
- So he just stepped in,
huh?
- I know.
Crazy, right?
- Yeah. Well, we have
checkpoints all over this place.
If they were to have quit,
we would have
found out by now.
- Come on, baby!
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!
Come on, baby!
- Oh, wow.
- Whoo, whoo, whoo.
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Hey, hey.
You okay?
- Oh, my gosh!
Should we call an ambulance?
Oh!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
Put your arm around me.
Hold on.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, my God!
- Go, Lizzie!
- You all right?
- Mitch!
Here, sweetheart.
Oh, my God.
You okay?
Come on.
- As I get closer
and closer to Elizabeth,
I'm beginning to feel more
and more confident about this.
- Morning, sunshine.
- Good morning, mommy.
Mommy?
- You're not my mom!
- Mm-mm.
Good thing.
- Oh.
Oh, God, it hurts to move.
- I figured it would.
That way,
you can't kick me out.
- Doesn't it remind you
of when we were camping?
I could stay here all day.
- I don't think
I have a choice.
I think I left my credit card
at the bar the other night.
- Lizzie!
Are you up?
- Uh, yeah.
- Just got a call
from the wedding photographer.
He needs to change
his appointment
to 10:30 A.M. tomorrow.
- Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome!
- I actually forgot
I had that appointment today.
- I'm sorry, Liz,
I have to ask.
- Yes?
Why are you marrying
this guy?
- Excuse me?
- No, I'm just saying,
it's...
From what I've seen,
you're not very happy with him.
And if you don't mind me
saying,
he's kind of a dick.
- Wow.
- What, you disagree?
- What would you like
for me to do, Mitch?
Do you want me to dump Jake
and marry you?
- And who do you think
you are,
you're gonna come here
after ten years
and you're gonna
judge me?
- Wait a second.
For... ow.
For your information,
I barely made it
through Texas
coming out here
to find you.
If I want to judge,
I'll judge!
- Okay, now we're gonna
play that card?
The "I worked so hard
to find you"?
Come on, give me a break.
- It's no card.
- Fine.
I'll bite.
Laura!
There he is.
- Hey, Rudy...
- come here, you!
Bring it in.
Bring it in.
So... I heard you're spending
the night at my sister's.
- Uh, yes, sir.
- Did you have sex with her yet?
- Rudy!
- Sorry.
I'm just kidding.
But I heard she's good.
I'm just kidding!
Hey, would you like to hang out
with us a bit?
Me and my boys, we're gonna be
hanging around the fire,
saying a couple chants.
- What kinda chants?
- Well, number one,
our lord and savior, j. C.
- J...
- Jesus Christ.
- Right.
Can I ask
what the bonfire's about?
I mean, don't you guys
usually burn... Crosses?
- Whoa, whoa.
Who do you think we are?
- K.K.K.?
- What would
make you say that?
- It might have something to do
with the white robes.
- Laura, first of all,
they're not white...
they're taupe.
- You've heard of
the hell's angels?
- Of course.
- Well, they are
the heaven's angels.
- Oh...
- We're a small group,
but we're growing fast.
- The robes are what they call
angel shrouds.
- Yo, Rudy, the boys are getting
restless waiting on you.
How much longer
we gotta wait?
- Would you like to join us
for our ceremony this evening?
- If I refuse?
- I'll just have
the boys come over and, uh,
they'll just
kick the snot outta you.
- Let's chant!
- All right, well,
you boys have fun.
I'm outta here.
- You're going?
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- Yeah. A biker gang
called the heaven's angels
in Texas?
That's ridiculous.
- Rudy turned out to be
a really nice guy.
He gave me his card.
- You know what?
Jake proposed to me,
I said yes,
and we're getting married.
- Well, great.
Good. Fine.
Good for you!
- You know...
Buddy!
Come on,
let's wake Mitch up!
Wait... no, bu... no.
Buddy, n-n...
Aah!
- Excuse me.
- Oh, hey, man.
Sorry. We don't open
for another hour.
- Yeah, I know.
I was in here the other night.
I think I left
my credit card.
I was...
Playing the, uh,
whipping post.
- Yes!
I remember you!
You're awesome!
- Thank you.
- Yeah. No, man,
you're one tough
son of a bitch!
- Thank you.
Uh, the credit card.
- Oh, you don't just like
staring at each other
awkwardly.
Sorry. I'll be right back.
- Thank you.
I'll call you later.
- What are you doing here?
- Picking up my credit card.
What are you doing here?
- Nothin'.
I don't know what
you think you saw here,
but, uh...
You didn't see anything.
- Didn't say I did.
- Good.
- Mr. Mitch Becker...
Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Oh, and on tabs this high,
we automatically add 20%.
- You have a pen?
- Probably.
- I only got a few minutes,
whoever you are.
I... oh.
- Hello, Donna.
- Stanley Jones.
What brings you out here?
- Well, for starters,
I was hoping
that you would fix me one of
your delicious cups of coffee.
The house looks great.
- Thank you.
- How's Elizabeth?
I understand that she has
an old friend in town visiting.
- Oh, Mitch. He drove all
the way from Boston to see her.
She's so excited.
They haven't seen each other
since college.
- How heartwarming.
- You've never been good
at smalltalk, Stan.
Why are you here?
- I just wanna make sure
that she's going forward
with this wedding.
- Well, of course she is.
Why would you...
you don't think...
Oh, Stan!
They're just friends.
Trust me.
You have nothing to worry about.
- You're right, Donna.
I'm not very good
at small talk.
I want your assurance
that my son's wedding
is gonna go off
without a hitch.
It would be a shame
if I had to...
Sell certain assets
in order to make up my losses.
- Well, let me be
perfectly clear.
You can be well assured
that the wedding will go on
as planned.
- Thank you.
I can get the key in,
but then when I turn it...
oh!
Just the new paint
sticking to the door.
Thank you.
- Oh, I'm Elizabeth Carter.
- Hi, Elizabeth.
- And you are...
- Oh.
I'm bitch maker.
Mitch. Becker.
- Fourth floor.
What the hell?
Hey, roomie.
- Hi.
Mm.
Uh, well, I'll leave
you two alone.
- You know, we should
hang out some time.
- Gr-oss!
- That'd be great.
See ya.
- Yeah.
Bye.
- Bye.
- What happened
to you, man?
- Oh, I just fell in love.
- I just got high
in the quad.
- College.
- College.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey.
- Somebody had a long
day at work, huh?
- Yes.
- Care to join me?
You know I hate
drinking alone.
- Sure.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
Listen, Elizabeth,
I want to apologize
for the way...
- No, Mitch, honestly,
I'm the one
that owes the apology.
After I thought about it,
I can totally understand
why you felt that way
about Jake.
- Listen, I don't even
know him...
- no, no, just...
Let me finish, okay?
This is kind of difficult
for me to say.
My parents always thought
that they'd retired here.
And then my dad died suddenly,
and both of us
were really devastated.
Six months later,
I'm living in Los Angeles
and I'm about to get married,
and then that didn't happen
because I found my fiance
in bed with my best friend.
My life was kinda
going nowhere.
I felt like... Felt like
I needed to move home,
and then once I got here,
I found out my mom
was about to lose the house.
She got caught up in one of
those refinancing schemes,
and she had no choice
but to sell or be foreclosed.
- Mm. Wow.
- That's when I met Jake.
He came to look
at the house
and pretty soon realized that
all he could do was look at me.
I know it sounds
really silly,
but after
what I had been through,
it felt really nice.
We went to dinner.
I explained our situation.
And shortly after that,
he bought the house
and said that we could stay.
- For free?
- His family
has a lot of money.
- Ah, I see.
For free
as long as the two of you
are together.
- It's really not like that.
He proposed.
I said yes.
And here we are.
- What can I say
about that?
- I guess I don't really
need you to say anything.
- Thank you.
- Woman...
- shh.
- Potter residence.
- Hey, Donna,
is Elizabeth there?
- Oh, good morning, Jake.
I think she's awake... she must be
around here somewhere.
Let me try and fi...
it's for you.
- Hey, you.
- Hello, sweetheart.
Look, I'm sorry,
but I'm not gonna
be able to make
that photographer
appointment this morning.
- Uh...
Is... okay.
Is everything all right?
- No, everything's fine,
but my dad just wants
to show me
this building he's thinking
of purchasing.
You mind going on your own?
- I would like for you
to be there,
but if you can't,
I can do it by myself.
- That's my girl.
Okay. I'll see you
when I get back.
- What now?
- Jake has to go meet his dad,
so I get to go to
the photographer by myself.
- Want me to go with you?
- No.
I'm okay.
Thank you.
- Pretty please?
- No. Let me read you
your horoscope instead.
- Oh, please.
- Leo.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Um...
I was coming
to actually tell you
that I'm leaving to go meet
with the wedding photographer.
I'll be back
in a little bit, though.
- That's good,
'cause your mom asked me
to clean some stuff out
in the garage, so...
- She did?
That's nice of you.
Thank you.
- Oh, not a problem.
All right, I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
- Hey, douche bag,
you and me
gotta talk, bro.
- What is your problem now?
- What'd you tell her, man?
- I see the ankle
healed up nice.
- Screw my ankle, all right?
What did you tell her?
- I didn't tell her
anything, okay?
'Cause it would
devastate her.
- Give me a break.
You expect me to believe that?
After what I saw
last night?
- Last night?
There was nothing to see.
- I saw you!
I was right over there!
She kissed you!
And you kissed her back.
You love her, man!
You've always loved her.
Elizabeth made her choice,
okay?
And whether I like it or not,
I'm not gonna do anything
to screw up her life.
- Well, guess what, jerk off?
That's exactly what
you're doing.
Now, I'm gonna
be back in an hour.
Make up any bogus excuse
you want,
but when I get back,
your bags better be packed
and you better be
headed back to Boston.
Got it?
Whoa!
Buddy!
It's okay, buddy.
- Oh...
- Help me get him in the car.
- Uh... No. No.
- Where you going?
Jake, help me get buddy
in the car!
- What...
- Okay, buddy.
It's okay, I'm here.
One, two, three.
Okay, bud.
Okay, I got you.
I got you.
Donna.
Donna, get the car!
- Dr. Dana Burke,
please dial extension 202.
Dr. Burke, please dial
extension 202.
- Oh, honey,
honey, honey.
Honey.
I'm so glad you're here.
- Is buddy okay?
- Mitch is back there
with the doctor right now.
- I've called Jake
a hundred times.
He's not answering
his phone.
Mitch!
- Listen, it's gonna be okay.
- Oh, my God, your shirt.
- It's okay, all right?
The doctors are with him
right now.
He's gonna be out in a second
to let us know
what's going on.
- How is he?
- Well, we were able
to stop the bleeding
and repair the damage
to the leg and the abdomen.
- Is he gonna be okay?
- It looks very good.
He'll have a full recovery.
- Thank you.
- Thank Mitch.
It was Mitch's quick action
that saved buddy's life.
- Thank you.
- Can we see him?
- Sure. Just remember,
he's a little out of it.
He hasn't been moved
to recovery yet,
but I'm sure he'd like to see
his mom and dad.
- Oh, Mitch isn't his dad.
He's a friend visiting
in town.
- Excuse me.
Sorry to interrupt you,
but I have some paperwork
that needs filling out.
- No problem.
You two go.
- Thank you, mom.
- I'll take care of this.
- I'm just gonna give you guys
a couple minutes,
then we have to move him.
- You okay?
You wanna be alone?
- No.
Hey...
- I'm just glad
he's gonna be all right.
- Me too.
- Yeah.
Oh, honey.
Oh...
thank you, Mitch.
Thank you so much.
Okay. I'll see you both
at home.
- Drive safe, mom.
- Okay.
- I'm just happy
he's coming home in a few days.
That's great.
- It's Jake. I don't want
to deal with that right now.
You wanna go get
something to eat?
- You know, I know my timing
kinda sucks right now,
but, um... I think
I'm gonna go.
- Oh, okay.
Um...
See you at the house.
- No. I mean I'm gonna leave.
- Like for good?
Mitch, we still have
the wedding.
I need you there.
- You don't need me there.
- Yes, I do.
- Why?
Why do you need me there?
It's your wedding,
for Christ's sake.
- You never really talked
to me like that before.
And you know what, Mitch?
You're right.
Your timing could not be worse.
- Why is it so important
that I be at your wedding, huh?
You wanna rub it
in my face?
- Rub it in your face?
What are you talking about?
- God, jeez...
Jake is right.
I am a wuss.
You might as well just
make me the maid of honor.
- What does that mean?
- You don't get it, do you?
- Get what?
- I'm in love with you.
- Why would you
tell me that?
- I've wanted to tell you that
since the first time I met you.
Do you know why
I came to find you?
Do you remember
what we said to each other?
The day before graduation.
Ten years ago.
- Tell me.
Mitch, tell me.
- Take care of yourself.
- Hey.
Donna filled me in.
Are you okay?
- No.
- I know you just
wanna save me
how bad I wanna let you
'cause there's so much
I wanna be
and I don't wanna
regret you
but I miss you
when you're gone
I wanted this
so very long
and I feel a breakdown
coming on
- Hi. Is this Rudy?
- I'm losing it,
I gotta let you go
while I go through this
I'm losing it,
don't wanna say good-bye
but I can't do this
I'm losing it,
I know it's time
I tried it all
I loved and I won
and still I fall
but I'm finally losing it
so hard waking up alone
and chasing my dreams
it's so far
to walk this road
with no guarantees
and never know
that every song
reminds me of you
being gone
and I feel a breakdown
coming on
I'm losing it,
I gotta let you go
while I go through this
I'm losing it,
don't wanna say good-bye
but I can't do this
I'm losing it,
I know it's time
I tried it all
I loved and I won
and still I fall
but I'm finally losing it
oh, when I'm out of town
and you're not around
I'll be breaking down
I'm breaking down
- I'm looking
at the same numbers.
But, well, no, I can assure you,
it's all tax deductible.
It is.
Let's go through
last month's projected
and actually see
where we came out.
I think you're gonna
be very happy.
- I'm losing it,
I'm losing it
I'm losing it, I'm losing it
I'm losing it
I gotta let you go
while I go through this
I'm losing it,
don't wanna say good-bye
but I can't do this
I'm losing it
honey, I don't wanna
put you through this
I'm losing it,
baby, please don't cry
but I can't do this
I'm losing it
oh, oh, no
I'm losing it
oh oh
I'm losing it
I know it's time,
I tried it all
I loved and I won
and still I fall
but I'm finally
losing it
I'm losing it.
- You look beautiful.
Your father
would be so...
Proud today.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Elizabeth...
You need to stop.
Mitch isn't coming.
- I know. I just can't
stop thinking about him.
It's my wedding day, and all
I think about is Mitch.
- It may sound strange, but
I keep thinking about him too.
- Mother!
- What?
He's a nice republican.
- He's actually
a registered independent.
- On the outside.
Not in here.
- I miss him.
- Is she here?
- You're not supposed
to be here.
- Donna, I'm gonna be
married to this woman
in about 30 minutes.
I think it's okay
if I see her now, okay?
- No, no. Not until
she walks down that aisle.
- Fine. Fine.
You haven't seen Mitch
around, have you?
- No. He isn't here.
- Good.
'Cause the next time I see him,
I'm gonna put him
in the hospital... you got it?
- Will you stop with that?
He's the one who saved buddy
after you hit him and took off.
Besides... They made
a pact ten years ago
to marry each other
only for him to find out
that she's marrying you
instead.
So I think I'd cut him
a little slack, honey.
- They made a pact?
Gosh, Donna,
I don't know what to say.
That's so touching.
Come on, are you kidding me?
Who the hell even does that?
And that whole buddy thing,
by the way?
I was trying to protect
my family's reputation.
- Go back
to your friends, Jake.
We'll see you downstairs.
- Yeah, I'll see you
downstairs.
- Everything okay?
- Everything's fine.
It's terrific. So...
You ready to get married?
- How's dad?
Well, look, I'm gonna see
you guys Sunday anyway, okay?
Yes, I'm still
coming for dinner.
Okay?
I love you too.
All right, bye.
Buddy?
Buddy!
Ha ha ha!
Is that you?
You look great?
- I was about to say
the same thing about you.
Looks like someone
took up jogging.
- What are you doing here?
- I just thought
that you'd like to see
that buddy was doing okay.
- So you came all the way to
Boston to tell me buddy's okay.
- No, actually,
I came all the way to Boston
to show you
that buddy was okay.
- Why would you do that?
- Well...
- Will you stop with that?
He's the one who saved buddy
after you hit him and took off.
Besides... They made
a pact ten years ago
to marry each other,
only for him to find out
that she's marrying you
instead.
- Everything okay?
- Everything's fine.
It's terrific. So...
You ready to get married?
- Sorry.
- Whoa, compadre.
Where do you think you're going?
- Who the hell are you?
Get your hands off me!
Ow! Ow!
- Now, we can do this
the easy way,
or we can do this my way.
It's your choice.
- Mother... ow! Ow!
- Okay. It's my way.
Let's go.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have
your attention, please?
I'm sorry to inform you,
but there will no longer
be a wedding here today.
It seems that the bride to be
has had a change of heart.
And as I look around
this beautiful setting,
it seems none of you
are shocked.
- Excuse me, but you're
hurting my son.
- Yes, I am.
- Would you please stop?
- Where's Donna?
No worries.
Elizabeth called me.
Jake, it's over.
Don't come looking
for Elizabeth... ever.
If you do, you're not
gonna find her...
you're gonna find me.
And I'm from Texas.
That means
I'll barbecue his ass!
Oh!
- Y...
- no.
Learn to leave
on a high note.
- You gonna be okay?
- I'll be fine.
Take care of her.
- Will do.
- Thank you.
- Good night, everybody.
- You know what, guys?
I'm gonna go catch
the laker game.
- You don't have to worry
about him anymore.
Ha ha ha!
So where we heading?
- Boston.
- Ha ha! Beantown. Sweet!
- Hey, baby,
we just picked her up.
We're on our way.
- Hold on, girls.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo!
- Yee-haw!
- And we didn't stop
until we got here.
- Why would you do that?
- I needed to see you.
I wanted to make things
right between us.
- Well...
You saw me.
You...
buddy looks great.
- Mitch, wait.
It was the day
of graduation,
and you were talking to Dave
and I went over to steal you.
I told you what a special
friend you were to me...
And if I have a regret
it's that
I never gave you a chance.
I never gave us a chance.
So here I am
asking for a chance.
Mitch Becker,
will you do me the honor
of fulfilling a promise
that I made to you?
Will you marry me?
I love you, and I wanna
spend the rest...
- wait, stop.
I must have gone over
this moment
a thousand times in my head
and...
Never once did I ever imagine
it was going to be you
proposing to me.
You're the love
of my life.
Course I'm gonna marry you.
Wait, wait.
One condition.
We don't... we don't wait.
We do this.
No engagement.
No ceremony.
No photographers.
We just...
We do this right now.
We go down to city hall
and do it... what do you say?
Deal?
- I think I can do one better.
- It's such a long way
back to you
Hey, it's me.
Hold on, I'm gonna
put you on speaker.
Okay, you're on.
- What's up, my brother?
- Rudy!
- Hey, Mitch, what's happening?
- Oh, my gosh, Laura,
how are...
is Dave with you?
- He sure is.
- And I'm with her.
Ha ha ha!
So, man, any news.
- Well, I think we need
pastor Rudy.
We're getting married.
- Oh, congratulations.
- There you go, my man.
All right!
- Wait, wait.
Rudy's a pastor?
- Hell, yeah.
Online, baby.
You can get a license
or anything.
- How soon can you be here?
We wanna do it today.
- Uh, half an hour?
- Okay, we'll see you soon.
You know, they did say
that we had 30 minutes.
- Yes, they did.
Well, to quote my friend
Dave,
I did not predict that.
And if there's one thing
I've learned, it's...
- oh, wait, wait, wait.
Buddy!
- I'm sorry.
Where was I?
Ah, forget it.
I'm getting married!
Buddy come on!
- The feeling's all around me
and I can hardly wait
I'm still
that boy from Texas
and I'm already home
no matter where I am
I know I'm home
and I'm already home
no matter where I am
I know I'm home
- Now you know
what it feels like.
Ooh!
Turnabout.
Rah!
- When the girls
rule the world
when the girls rule
the world
when the girls
rule the world
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh,
oh oh oh
oh oh oh-oh-oh
a little less thinking,
a lot more drinking
throw your hands up
tonight you're dressed
to impress
don't know where
you'll wind up
life of the party,
pour more bacardi
till the sun's up
yes, we can, yes, we can,
yes, we can
the drinks are flowing
when we get going
life's so easy
steps up the side,
I can't hide
when the beat
starts moving through me
get the magic drink,
make him feel lovesick
I'm thinking maybe
yes, we can, yes, we can,
yes, we can
and if we have it our way,
then one day
the time would soon come
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah ah,
when the girls rule the world
wah ah ah
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
come with me
and feel the heat
heat heat heat
feel the heat
and dance with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
I've missed mischief
and missed misbehaving
it's a wild,
wild lust for life
that I've been craving
gotta party tonight
bumpin' till I-light
don't think twice,
roll the dice
naughty, never nice
I've missed mischief
and missed misbehaving
it's a wild,
wild lust for life
that I've been craving
gotta party tonight
bumpin' till I-light
don't think twice,
roll the dice
naughty, never nice
and if we have it our way
then one day
the time would soon come
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah
when the girls
rule the world
wah ah ah ah,
when the girls rule the world
wah ah ah
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
come with me
and feel the heat
heat heat heat
feel the heat
and dance with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me
oh oh oh-oh-oh
oh oh oh
oh oh oh
there's a party
every night of the week
ride the beat
and come with me