Theodora Goes Wild (1936) Movie Script

Hello!
Yeah, I'm listening. But I know just exactly
what you're going to say.
What?
Well, that's just too bad, Mrs. Moffat.
But I happen to be running this paper
and I think it was fit to print.
Good day to you.
Mrs. Moffat that time.
Stand by, Henry, for full returns.
Fifty other Lynnfield hens
will be heard from yet.
This hen says, "Not fit to print."
Yes, siree.
Hello, who is it and what...
Yes, yes, I know, Mrs. Perry, I know.
I know you don't like
that Caroline Adams novel
I'm running serially in the Bugle.
Yeah, unmoral and not fit to print. Yes.
Yes, Mrs. Perry. That is right. Yes.
Now look here, Mrs. Perry,
let me tell you something. I apologize.
I apologize for breaking my neck
trying to buy the serial rights
to the best-selling novel of the day.
I apologize for waking the town of Lynnfield
out of a 20-year sleep
to show it how people live and learn
and love in the wide-awake world.
I apologize.
The buzzards are swooping
down on us, Henry.
Yes, siree. Hot diggety.
Say, get your nose out of that paper
and answer the phone once in a while.
I want to eat some lunch.
Hello. Yeah.
-Yeah. Who is it?
-Who is it?
-Miss Lynn.
-Here, give me that.
Hello, Theodora.
No, don't tell me you called up
about that Caroline Adams story.
I'm afraid that's it, Jed.
Well, you'll have to admit Caroline Adams
doesn't exactly write bedtime stories.
-Tell him it's shocking.
-And scandalous.
Aunt Mary and Aunt Elsie
simply can't approve, Jed.
So the two Lynn oracles have spoken?
Well, well, now, wouldn't you think
after five generations
the Lynn family would be
tired running this town?
But the point is, Jed, the Literary Circle
is up in arms against this book.
They're having a meeting tonight
to discuss it.
-He better be there.
-Aunt Mary said you'd better be there.
So it's come to that, has it?
Yes, Jed, it's come to that.
8:00, the public library.
All right, I'll be there.
"'I'd better be going home,' Pamela said.
'It's late.' Spencer smiled.
"lt seemed minutes before he answered.
"'Home, Pamela? Why, it's very early,
my dear. The night has just begun.'
"With these words uttered like caresses,
he started slowly toward her.
"Pamela stood rigid, frightened,
watching him advance.
"His steps were slow, deliberate.
Pamela felt imprisoned, helpless.
"She wanted to run past him out of
this strange apartment down to the street.
"But her brain was reeling with drink."
Oh, my.
"She was robbed of all purpose.
"'You're very beautiful tonight, Pamela,'
he said.
"The words mingled with the plaintive music
that filled the room.
"He was close to her.
He reached out violently.
"His hands fastened on her arms
and pinned them to her sides.
"She was suddenly pressed
tightly against him.
"He spoke in low rapid tones,
words she did not hear.
"She fought desperately
to break out of his grasp.
"'Let me go! Let me go!'
"She could feel his breath on her cheek
"and then his lips on hers
with a shocking, terrible suddenness.
"The room suddenly went dark."
That's enough, Rebecca.
I think we've heard plenty.
Well, I should think so.
If you don't mind,
I haven't been taking the Bugle regularly
and I'd like to hear the rest of it.
You certainly don't have to
hear more than that
to make up your mind about it.
Don't worry, Miss Jenkins. You'll get a copy.
I printed 100 extra today.
Jed Waterbury.
Well, I knew they'd be in great demand
with the womenfolk.
Well, I guess we've agreed about one thing.
This Literary Circle isn't going to
let sexy trash like this
come right into our homes and corrupt us.
Now, just a second. Just a second.
As long as I can remember, this community
has had its head in the sand saying,
"There ain't no evil."
Well, then that may be all right
for you old people.
You're practically dead anyhow
with one foot in the grave.
The impudence.
But your youngsters ought to be told
what it's all about.
You can't keep civilization
out of Lynnfield forever.
Jed Waterbury, if civilization is
like Caroline Adams writes about,
then it's best that our children get along
without civilization.
All right.
Theodora, what's the Lynn family
got to say about this?
Aunt Mary and Aunt Elsie told me
to tell you they want the story stopped.
And if it isn't, the Lynnfield Bugle
is going to find itself without subscribers.
-I'm sorry, Jed.
-There you are. All in favor, say "aye."
Aye.
Well, is that plain enough,
Mr. Jed Waterbury?
Yep, that's plain enough.
I guess I know a righteous spanking
when I get one.
All right, I'll quit printing the thing.
Yes.
By the way,
about those extra copies of the paper,
come early and avoid the rush.
Well, now, one thing more.
I think it no more than right that
the Lynnfield Literary Circle
should go on record
and tell whoever is publishing the book
that this community condemns it
lock, stock and barrel.
Absolutely.
In fact, I make a resolution to that effect.
-All in favor, say "aye."
-Aye.
Well, that will hold Mr. Jed Waterbury
for a while.
Surely ought to.
I'm going to New York tomorrow
to visit Uncle John.
-I'll probably see Adelaide.
-Give the lamb my love.
I'll never be done thanking you, Theodora,
for getting her to New York
for a change of scenery.
-Good night.
-Good night.
-Good night.
-lt was just too sweet of you
to take such an interest in my only child.
-Good night.
-Good night.
I declare to goodness,
you're a Lynn clear through.
Just downright fine.
I'll give you a batch of cookies
to take in to Adelaide.
-All right.
-The soft ginger kind.
They won't be all crumbs
by the time they get to her.
Come to think of it, I won't send a letter
to that Stevenson publisher.
I'm going to send a telegram.
"Fewer and stronger words," I always say.
Something like this...
"Gentlemen, so to speak." No.
"ln the name of decency
and good morals." No.
"This brazen filth..."
"...published by you is
a disgrace to American morals
"and a sin against American youth."
Signed, "Rebecca Perry,
President, Lynnfield Literary Circle."
Nice going, Rebecca.
Miss Adams will just love this.
See that those contracts are ready for her
to sign on the movie purchase of her book.
Yes, Mr. Stevenson.
And let me have
an up-to-the-minute statement
-on the sales to date.
-Yes, sir.
Show her in, please, the moment she arrives.
Yes, sir.
Miss Adams.
How do you do, Miss Adams?
-Hello.
-Well, come in, come in.
I'm awfully glad to see you.
Seems years between visits.
Come sit down. Sit down, Miss Lynn.
-Adams.
-I'm sorry.
But how much time do I get today?
Well, the usual hour.
Uncle John's expecting me.
Well, let's sit down.
Say, I got a wire this morning
that might amuse you.
I know. Signed Rebecca Perry.
Why did you sell those serial rights
to the Lynnfield Bugle?
Have you got an aspirin?
Well, I haven't even heard about the Bugle.
An aspirin for Miss Adams.
But I think it's very funny.
Very funny. Maybe you do,
but I had to sit and listen to it read out loud,
and I give you my word,
you have no idea
how indecent the stuff sounded.
-Well, shall we make it two aspirins?
-No. Really.
I suddenly realized I was a writer
of wide reputation and most of it bad.
I could see Lynnfield finding out the truth.
Aunt Mary and Aunt Elsie dying of shame.
The name of Lynn disgraced forever and...
-Your aspirin.
-Thank you. It won't help.
Here.
Now will you please sit down
and stop worrying and let me talk to you?
Mr. Stevenson, do you have to advertise
Caroline Adams in letters that size?
Couldn't you make them just a little bit...
That's what makes the size
of your bank account.
Would you like to have a look
at your balance?
Well, it couldn't possibly interest me.
I can't use any of it
without telling where I got it.
Will you please stop worrying?
Now, the identity of Caroline Adams
will never be known.
Miss Baldwin and I will carry the secret
to our graves.
Now, that ought to take care of everything,
oughtn't it?
Everything except my own conscience.
My dear Miss Adams, don't tell me you care
what the Lynnfield Literary Circle thinks?
I can't help it. I'm part of it.
I'm part of everything in Lynnfield.
Were you raised in a small town
by two maiden aunts? No!
Have you taught Sunday school
for the past 10 years? No!
Have you played the organ in church
since you were 15? No! Well, I have.
And right now, I ask myself,
where did Caroline Adams come from?
How did all this start?
You walked in here one day
with a very promising manuscript.
Yes, I thought it was just romantic.
I must have been out of my mind.
What? To write a book
that's sweeping the country?
But not a clean sweep.
Heaven forbid.
What's this?
The first chapter of the new book?
No.
Come on, now. What's in that package?
-Cookies.
-Cookies?
Rebecca made them. You know Rebecca.
She loves to write telegrams.
"Fewer and stronger words,"
she always says.
-Will you have one?
-No, no, no, no.
-Well, they're awfully good.
-No.
The soft ginger kind with no crumbs.
No, no, no. Now, where's that chapter?
It just won't write, Mr. Stevenson.
I've tried, honest I have.
I still stuff rags under my door at night
in case my aunts are prowling around.
But it's no use. I'm too upset.
The way I feel now, I'll never write again.
Now look here. Sooner or later you've
got to be sensible and take my advice.
Have it out with Lynnfield.
Tell them all about it. Come to New York.
Get yourself an apartment
and write me six more books.
-Bye-bye, Mr. Stevenson.
-Now wait a minute,
we've got some business to discuss.
-Not today. I'm not in the mood.
-All right, all right.
But there's one thing more,
and this is very important.
I promised my wife the first time
you came in, she could see you.
-You what?
-Well, I simply had to.
-I thought we said nobody.
-Well, you see, it's this way.
Now, she's a rabid fan of yours.
She just wants to look at you.
First it's a look. Then it's questions.
Then anything could happen.
No, no, no.
I swear she'll know nothing about you.
Now look, she's been making life
miserable for me,
-and you don't know Ethel.
-I'm sorry.
Hello.
-Well, I'd never believe it.
-This is Ethel.
I heard you.
Don't tell me you're Caroline Adams?
Well, I've been dying to meet you.
Who's this?
Get out of here, Michael, and shut that door.
You see, first it's one person, then it's two.
One thing about Michael,
he only goes where he's not invited.
-What do you want?
-So you're Caroline Adams?
Say, you ought to meet me.
I'm the man that did the cover for your book
and that glorious woman on the poster.
Well, she may be glorious,
but she's certainly underdressed.
Well, that's the way
I found her in your book, lady.
Say, are you sure you're Caroline Adams?
What do you mean, is she sure
she's Caroline Adams?
Well, I don't know. Caroline Adams ought to
look as though she'd lived.
Forgive me, perhaps you've got
a terrific constitution and it doesn't show.
All right, that's enough, Michael.
Now, either get out or go sit down.
I'll go sit down.
Well, there is a certain bloom of innocence
in your face that surprised me, too.
What did you expect to see,
the tattooed woman?
Don't be silly, lamb.
You know, I can't get a word
out of Arthur about you.
And I'm just dying to know things.
-Miss Adams has to go, pet.
-Yes, Uncle John's waiting for me.
-Whose Uncle John?
-Her Uncle John.
-Yes, my uncle.
-I see. You've an uncle.
Well, what about later?
Why not take dinner with us?
No, thank you. I couldn't.
You see, I have to catch the first train
back to... Back home.
-Where's that?
-Out west. Way out west on the range.
Come now,
there are trains leaving all night long
for way out west on the range.
You must take dinner with us, dear.
We'll meet you here at 6:00.
Well, I couldn't.
I didn't bring a change of clothes.
That's all right, we won't dress.
Arthur, make her stay.
Well, that's that, Miss Adams.
But we'll put you
on the earliest possible train after dinner.
-May I come to dinner, too?
-No.
All right, but I'll have to run now.
Goodbye, dear. Don't forget, 6:00.
My cookies.
I'm sorry, they're very good.
A total of $3,296.33.
Well, there's your aunts' income
for the quarter.
Any special instructions
from those two plaster saints?
No. Just the usual check for $300,
Uncle John.
-And put the rest away.
-Such virtue.
Tell me, dear, when are you coming to stay
with me for a couple of days
-and let me show you the town?
-Sometime soon. Not today, though.
That means never.
Still don't approve of me, do you?
No. Think I'm wicked.
Believe everything those two charming
sisters of mine tell you about me, don't you?
Confidentially, Uncle John,
are you really wicked?
Confidentially, honey,
I'm just a little short of terrific. Here.
There's the evidence.
My gallery of playmates.
Put them all together and you have
one of the most delightful careers that
a man has ever carved out for himself.
Now, meet Annabelle, 1896,
right down to and including Margie, 1936.
Shocked to death, aren't you?
That pained expression of yours
is just like Mary's.
They're making a fine job of you, all right.
Listen, baby.
Anyone ever call you baby?
-No.
-Pity.
And they never will in Lynnfield.
Theodora.
Adelaide.
-How are you, darling?
-I'm fine.
-Mother isn't worried or suspicious?
-No, not a bit.
She thinks you're working for Mrs. Jamison
and that you're so happy.
-Have you heard from Roger?
-No.
You still don't want to tell him?
If his mother has frightened him
away from me,
I don't want to bring him back
because of this.
Of course, at the same time,
I can't let you and Uncle John
go on keeping me.
Who said so? Why, I wouldn't let you go.
Why, young chickens like you
are a tonic to me.
Do you see? Run along now,
take off your coat and we'll have some tea.
By the way, your mother sent
some cookies for you,
but I met a hungry man and he ate them up.
You run along, dear.
You know, Theodora,
this low trick you're playing on Lynnfield
tells me that there's hope for you yet.
Of course, not much, but just a little.
-But there's nothing low about it.
-No?
You're only hoping to conceal it
from Rebecca Perry
the fact that
her daughter is going to have a baby.
You lie about finding her work in New York,
and you hide her away
with your sinful old uncle.
Adelaide's married.
Of course, that makes all the difference
in the world, doesn't it?
Well, I had to do something about it.
The poor girl was frantic.
Their parents don't know
anything about her being married
and that baby husband of hers
going back to school.
That's the old spirit. And I love you for it.
And I'm going to be proud of you yet.
Not if I can help it, Uncle.
Well, this is fine. Here we are.
Cute little place, isn't it? Good evening.
Did you ever see so many
hors d'oeuvres in all your life?
You can take all you want.
That's the nice part about it.
Yes. Ethel always comes here
after one of her 18-day diets.
Well, it's a quaint little place.
Yeah, little Swedish restaurant
not many people know.
I thought you'd like it.
It's quiet and out of the way.
-You'd never meet a soul here you'd know.
-That's good.
-What was that, Arthur?
-I was just saying that
we carry the hors d'oeuvres to the table
and the rest of the meal will be served there.
You were? I doubt that very much.
Mystery, mystery. All I get is mystery.
I'm dying to know something
about Miss Adams,
and all I get is talk behind my back.
Will you lead the way, dear?
I must admit,
you've got me running in circles.
I thought you were a woman of 50.
With your hair dyed, your face lifted, and...
Cocktails, ladies? What'll it be?
Martini. And here you are,
an adorable young thing.
And your modesty, my dear.
Your girlish sweetness. I'm baffled.
-Cocktail, Miss Adams?
-No, thank you. None for me.
-Why not?
-Don't pester her, Ethel.
If she doesn't want one,
she doesn't want one.
Two martinis, please.
Yes, sir. They'll be at your table.
Now, before I pass out with curiosity,
tell me, don't you ever...
-Please, angel, please.
-Writers' lives are very dull, Mrs. Stevenson.
Very dull. I'm sure you'd be disappointed.
All right, I won't be a pest.
But you do make people curious.
-Now, Michael said...
-He's apt to say most anything, that fellow.
Or do anything, for that matter.
I like him, but he certainly
can be most annoying.
He's a trifle mad, isn't he?
Try some of this. It's very good.
How in the world did you
know that we were here?
Well, I said to myself, "lf I were Stevenson,
and wanted to avoid Michael,
"what would be the most
out-of-the-way place to which I'd go?"
And, boom, I hit it.
First crack out of the box.
How's everybody? Glad you're on time,
because I'm pretty hungry.
And I'm so glad you came here.
I love hors d'oeuvres.
Anybody ask you to have dinner with us?
-Not formally.
-Or informally?
Well, in a way, no.
Well, this is the end of the line.
I guess we may as well sit down.
Lead the way to our table, Ethel.
Miss Adams.
Arthur.
-Now, let's see.
-Wonderful food here.
It's a wonder you can eat anything
after all those cookies.
You know how it is with growing boys.
No, I don't. How is it with growing boys?
You've got me, pal.
Waiter, here and here, please.
Concoct another one of those for me,
bartender.
Very well, sir.
-Wait a minute. Not drinking?
-No, thank you. Not drinking.
-You mean you never drink?
-Did I say I never drink?
But you look as though you never drank.
And for Caroline Adams,
that's very interesting. Tell me, do you...
That'll do for you, Mr. Grant.
It's no use, Michael.
I've been working on Miss Adams
half an hour.
She won't let down her back hair.
That's all there is to it.
I see.
But the point is, has she got any back hair?
All this talk about drinking
has made me a little thirsty, though.
-Waiter?
-Yes, ma'am.
Straight whiskey.
Ethel, you're not keeping up with us.
Little Ethie feels like
she's had a drop too much.
You and Michael seem to
have been drinking your dinner.
I was just showing the gentleman
my back hair.
Would you say it was down now, Mr. Grant?
Well, I wouldn't say it wasn't.
Hadn't we better start thinking
about your train now, Caroline?
That's right, Arthur.
You keep me posted now. Keep me posted.
-Check, please.
-Yes, sir.
Say, did I hear you say you never danced?
Who, me? Well, you certainly didn't.
I know a hot little night spot
that's just opened uptown.
-You do?
-That is if you go to that sort of place.
-Well, I write about them, don't l?
-That's right, you do.
In fact, when I hear about a new hot spot,
I'm like an old fire horse and the bell.
No.
You know, talking about fire horses,
I haven't seen a fire horse since I was a kid.
Well, my dear fellow,
you're missing something.
-We still have them up in our town.
-Where's that?
Wouldn't he like to know?
It's train time now, Caroline. Let's go.
There is another train in about two hours.
Let's just take a peek at this night spot.
Come on, Arthur. Come on, Ethel, make him.
Well, I'm not feeling my best,
but I started all this
and I'm going to finish it.
Here you go.
-Let's go. Come on.
-Pure accident.
Come on, let's go.
How are you doing, Caroline?
I'm flying.
I'm floating on a breeze.
Pure accident.
That was no accident, lady,
that was my foot.
Michael was right.
She's got a terrific constitution
and it doesn't show.
Little Goldilocks drank me
right under the table.
-I'm passing out, lamb.
-Here, here, dear.
Now, don't do anything like that.
We've got to put Caroline on that train.
Mama's big boy better get little Ethie
out of here right now.
Now, be sensible, pet.
We can't leave Caroline here like this.
We've got to put her on that train.
I know, way out west somewhere.
Michael will put her on the range.
Ducky, better get little Ethie out of here
while she can still walk.
Here, take my arm.
I wish I knew what started all this.
Come on, dear. Now be careful, be careful.
You're one of those clever fellows,
aren't you?
That's what they all say.
Had your mind all made up about me,
didn't you?
Thought I didn't drink.
Thought I didn't dance, too.
Pure accident.
Here we are, my dear. My own little nest.
Aren't you coming in?
Naturally.
What a lovely place, Michael.
It's so inspiring.
Coming from an expert, that's something.
You mean me?
Yes. I was referring to the apartment
you wrote about.
You know, what's-his-name's place
where Pamela was lured.
Yes. Poor little Pamela.
Are these your etchings?
Poor things, but my own.
Here's my latest, most ambitious work.
Almost finished.
Eve and the serpent.
Charming. Perfectly charming.
Shall I take your coat?
Aren't you going to stay for a while?
Naturally.
-Perhaps you don't want to stay?
-Why not?
I don't know.
This hour of the night, bachelor apartment.
You're still full of peculiar notions
about me, aren't you?
Some soft music would be nice,
don't you think?
As a matter of fact,
it's been playing the whole time.
Well, it's charming. Perfectly charming.
Drink?
Yes. I was just going to suggest that.
Scotch?
Scotch.
I thought you were going to get the drink?
Maybe I'd better go.
I guess it is getting pretty late.
Late? Why the evening's just begun, darling.
Did I tell you
how beautiful you look tonight, Caroline?
No.
Well, you do. You're adorable.
Don't you dare. Don't you dare!
You stay right where you are.
If you come one more step, I'll scream.
I'll scream. Do you hear me?
You keep away from me.
Let me get my things and my ticket home.
You keep away from me.
I'll get a policeman after you.
I will. I'll get a policeman.
You stay where you are.
You stay where you are.
Want to stop in for a snack, Rebecca?
Why, I don't mind if I do.
I hope Adelaide ain't keeping late hours
or traipsing around the city all by herself.
No. She's at home with her work
most of the time.
Reading to Mrs. Jamison.
She never goes out, except when...
Except what?
-What?
-She never goes out, except...
Except when she goes out.
That don't make sense, Theodora.
He looks like a stranger to me.
Nice day of the week
to be whistling a jig on the streets.
Looks a lot too happy for Sunday,
if you ask me.
Of course, now and then she takes a ride
in the park with Mrs. Jamison.
-Who does?
-Adelaide.
Yes, Adelaide.
I wonder if she hears from Roger Taylor.
Or did she get all that nonsense
out of her head?
Brazen-looking, isn't he?
About time we were discussing
this year's charity bazaar, Rebecca.
I was going to say.
If it's going to be a success,
I guess it's kind of up to the Lynns again.
-lt usually is.
-Well, we haven't shirked any duty yet.
Look out, child.
You're going to drop that cup.
What's gotten...
Him again?
-Yes.
-Walking by?
No, just sort of resting on the gate.
I'll phone Captain O'Donnell
and have him put that
good-for-nothing loafer in jail,
where he can whistle to his heart's content.
No, don't bother, Aunt Mary.
I'll tell him to go away.
Don't get too close to him.
How do you do, lady?
Right smart weather we're having.
You get away from here
and leave town as fast as you can.
Is that the way to greet an old friend?
An old drinking companion?
You listen to me. My two aunts and
the worst gossip in town are watching us.
As far as they're concerned,
I don't know a soul outside of Lynnfield.
And if they suspected
what you know about me, they'd have fits.
Now, be a nice man,
tip your hat politely and get away from here.
Marvelous.
This beats my first guess by a mile.
Will you please go?
Yep. That's a mighty fine homestead
you got there, lady.
Of course, your lawn looks a bit seedy.
And that vine needs training.
You know what you need, lady? A gardener.
-Don't be absurd. We never had one.
-Lady, you've got one.
Now listen to me. It simply can't be done.
I can start right now.
What's this all about?
Why don't he go along? What does he want?
I'm looking for work, ma'am. Work!
He's a gardener, Auntie.
He says he needs work.
Not interested.
Well, you ought to be, ma'am.
Your garden looks pretty bad to me.
I don't care how it looks to you.
Don't stand there arguing at the top
of your voice, young man. It's Sunday.
Just go along about your business.
Yes, go along. Go along.
I'm a very willing worker, ma'am!
Quiet!
I just said we don't want the garden touched,
and if we did, we wouldn't hire a stranger
we found loafing on our doorstep.
You got me all wrong, ma'am.
I ain't no loafer at heart.
I was just telling the little lady here
something of my life's story.
Well, you can't shout your life's story
out there on the street.
You're quite right, ma'am. I'll come in.
-Here, here, doggie.
-No, no. That's a friend of mine.
I just picked him up. Nice character.
A little down on his luck,
so we decided to throw in together.
-I suppose he gardens, too.
-Yeah, just with his front feet.
-My name is Theodora Lynn.
-Yes, ma'am.
-And wipe your feet.
-lt ain't raining.
Wipe them anyway.
It's always done in Lynnfield.
Yes, ma'am.
-Now look here, young man.
-Keep your dog out of here.
If he as much as growls at Sylvia...
Come here, Jake.
Get him away from here.
Sit down.
My name's Dewberry, ma'am.
Young man, you're wasting your time.
I see, so you're refusing work
to a man who needs it,
who's willing to work.
A man who wants a chance
to get back his self-respect.
That isn't very charitable-minded, is it?
We're as charitable-minded as the rest,
young man.
Our acts speak for themselves, Elsie.
That isn't the point.
Well, it seems to me it is.
But don't worry, I'll find work.
I'll find it in this town, too.
And I'll have a lot to say
about how people are treated in this house.
In fact, I'll have a lot to say
about a lot of things.
I suppose it's our fault that
we can't find work for anybody
who comes to the door.
-There is some work to do, Aunt Mary.
-What work?
Well, cleaning up and sort of
straightening around the garden.
Exactly. Thank you, lady.
That's what I call intelligent charity.
I'll just give him that room in the tool house.
This way, please.
Come on, Jake. This way.
Well, if that don't beat all.
Elsie, we can't leave Theodora alone
with a man like that.
Well, of all the brassy, young no-accounts.
Why, I don't know what Theodora
can be thinking about giving him work.
He'll be out of here
before we can say Jack Robinson.
So I don't see any reason
to mention this around town, Rebecca.
Me? Lands, no.
Why, there's nothing to mention.
I guess Theodora was just sorry for him.
That's all.
Of course, he was sort of
good-looking and young.
Lands, I wouldn't say a word.
Say, this is fine.
I'm going to be very happy here.
I'll just sweep up, Aunt Elsie,
while you get some sheets
and a blanket from the house.
We'll get those things later.
I'll wait while you sweep up.
Yes, sir, this is what I call surroundings.
The kind of a place
that moves people to write.
Suppose you do your own sweeping.
It might save time, Aunt Elsie,
if you got the things now.
-There's no hurry.
-Go ahead and get whatever it is, Elsie.
-Aunt Mary.
-Go with your aunt.
-Say, this place is crawling with aunts.
-Where?
Sorry, lady. My mistake.
Come here, Jake. Come on.
There, with the compliments of Sylvia.
-There, he just put his light out.
-I wish he'd put his whistle out.
I guess we can all go to sleep now.
You can go to sleep if you like.
I'm going to sit right down here
all this blessed night.
If I'm going to be robbed,
at least I've got the right to know about it.
I can't think
whatever possessed you, Theodora.
Well, he looked so pathetic.
Nothing pathetic about a strange loafer.
Now, you just let him
putter around tomorrow
and then he goes right on his way.
He'd better stop that infernal tooting.
If he doesn't, it'll drive me crazy.
Want some coffee, Auntie?
No, thank you.
You haven't eaten a thing.
Isn't your head any better, Aunt Mary?
Worse.
That lawn mower never made
so much noise before.
Well, I guess nobody ever pushed it
so fast before.
You have to admit
he's a very willing worker.
He ought to do something
after the breakfast he ate.
Two helpings of oatmeal, four eggs,
and a rasher of bacon, coffee.
And then he says,
"What? No waffles, Elsie?"
"Elsie" he calls me!
And I call him
too altogether downright familiar.
Any more of his sass...
Get along, little doggie, get along, get along
Get along, little doggie, get along
Get along, little doggie
Good morning, neighbors.
Good morning. Morning, ma'am.
Get along, little doggie, get along
Howdy, squire. Howdy. Howdy.
Morning, ma'am.
My, my, well, dog my cats,
that's a mighty pretty hat you got on.
Looks like an heirloom.
Get along, little doggie, get along
Turn around, little doggie
Turn around, turn around
This is the end. Half of Lynnfield's
marching by to see that lunatic.
No, Rebecca wasn't going to say a word.
-Well, I'll settle him.
-I'll go, Aunt Mary. I'll go.
I think maybe I can manage him.
Get along, get along, get along, little...
-Morning, miss.
-What do you think you're doing?
You can't stage a circus out here
in this front yard.
Well, I can't disappoint all these people
who've walked blocks
just to look me over, can l?
Well, you've given them
more now than they expected.
So unhitch that barking horse
and stop this nonsense.
I hope you've learned your lesson, Jake.
It's a disgrace to have a little fun
in Lynnfield and don't you forget it.
-Good morning, Mrs. Cobb.
-Good morning, Mrs. Cobb.
My, my, you've put on weight.
That's about enough from you,
Mr. Dewberry.
You and I are going in the back
and trim the rose bushes, understand?
Okay, lady. Giddyup, Jake.
Giddyup. Giddyup.
Keep your hands busy
and your eyes on your work.
And tell me,
how did you track me to Lynnfield?
-Homing instinct, like a pigeon.
-Tell me.
You left some papers on the floor
in your wild flight from my apartment.
-Pure accident.
-I see.
Well, now that you know everything
and you've had your little laugh,
why don't you get along?
It fascinates me.
Why don't you get away from this burg
and lead a natural life?
I'm happy right where I am.
No quaking rabbit was every happy.
And for a lovely woman with talent,
it's a sin.
Don't worry, lady, I'm going to break you
out of this jail and give you to the world.
You wouldn't be so low
as to tell my aunts and Lynnfield about me?
-No, you're going to do that yourself.
-Never.
That's the old Lynnfield spirit.
And tell me, what kind of berries are ripe
this time of year?
Blackberries. Why?
That's what you and I are
going to pick tomorrow.
Don't be silly. I can't go
skipping off to the woods with you.
It's the berries tomorrow.
What are you doing?
Who told you to take up that rose bush?
You're a gardener, are you?
Well, you're dismissed.
You've got your notice right now.
Now, Aunt Mary, you can't do that.
I told him to dig it up.
-Why?
-Well, I thought maybe...
Well, she was just saying
it ought to be transplanted.
And I was just saying as
how transplanting is very important.
You see, it's this way, Aunt Maria.
If you keep a rose bush
in one place too long,
it uses up all the nourishment
in that one little spot of ground.
And what happens? It stops growing.
Settles down to a dull existence.
And it's the same way with most people.
What they need occasionally is
new soil with new life in it.
-Hey, Jake!
-Sylvia!
Sylvia!
-Sylvia!
-Jake!
I thought you said you were a berry-picker?
And no cracks, you.
I'm just not used to bending over, that's all.
You're a wreck, Mr. Dewberry.
-You know what you need?
-No, what?
You need nourishment,
new soil, transplanting.
You're a nasty character.
Excuse me, I'm tired.
Well, what about some berries?
Well, they're right at your head. Dig in.
Drop them in my mouth.
Well, who's going to chew them for you?
Drop them way back
so they'll just slide down.
Sorry I have to trouble you to swallow.
That's all right.
-More.
-Want some more?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself
Iaughing like that,
right out loud and everything.
What would Lynnfield say?
Say, has anybody ever been
known to laugh in Lynnfield?
I think there is a case or two on record.
Well, then somebody
must have been tickling them.
You know, you're a strange, sad case, girlie.
Do you know that?
No. No, tell me, doctor.
Well, to begin with, you're really a nice gal.
Full of normal desires,
but I can tell you what's happening to them.
-What?
-They're being slowly strangled to death.
-Why, that's murder.
-No, suicide.
Everything Lynnfield doesn't
want you to feel you write about.
Love, laughter, all the things
you want to experience and can't.
Go on.
There's a happy world out yonder, girlie.
Break loose, be yourself.
Tell Lynnfield to go take a jump.
Can you imagine Aunt Mary taking a jump?
Well, it's the only way
you'll ever be a free happy soul.
Mind the old doctor. I know.
I had to go through the same thing.
Sure is tough to break away
from your family,
your background and be yourself.
They had it all fixed for me to settle down
in Papa's footsteps.
To be a banker and a statesman,
but I wanted to paint.
It was the battle of the century, but I won it.
I knew you would.
Yeah? Well, at least
I can call my soul my own. Do you?
No.
No, I don't. I really don't.
But I could with a little help
from you, doctor.
Just say the word, girlie.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to get out of Lynnfield
and stay out.
Then I'd be free and happy.
You see, Dr. Dewberry,
-my real life is right here.
-Yeah?
Caroline Adams was just an accident.
Pure accident. She won't write any more.
But, if anything should go wrong,
I'd be glad to call on you, doctor.
Your bedside manner is so charming.
I do appreciate it.
Listen, it's getting late
and I have to help with dinner.
Come on, grandpop, we've got to go.
Wipe off your face.
Come on, Jake.
-Goodbye.
-Now, wait a minute.
You may win as a berry-picker,
but wait until we go fishing
and then I'll show you a thing or two.
Wait till who goes fishing?
I thought I told you to leave.
Sure, sure, I'll leave. Now, let's see,
the best time to go fishing is
about 5:00 in the morning.
What we catch, we'll eat for breakfast.
Listen, I'll have a hard enough time
explaining this berry-picking.
You'd have a harder time explaining
about Caroline Adams, wouldn't you?
Shall we make it 4:30?
Now, then, just relax.
You'll never catch trout
if you're too anxious.
They can tell an amateur a mile off.
Now then, casting is an art.
You want your bait to describe a wide arc
and settle down gently on the water.
If you make a splash, you scare them away.
Well, here goes.
Now then, you watch closely.
You didn't catch anything.
Well, you don't catch a trout
every time you cast, little girl.
Have a try.
You mean like that?
That makes five for me.
You haven't caught any yet,
have you, Michael?
You know darn well I haven't.
Why didn't you tell me
you were a crack fisherman?
Well, you didn't give me a chance.
You were so busy telling me
how good you were.
I don't think we ought to catch
any more than we can eat, do you?
-Want to have breakfast now?
-lf you'll invite me. They're your fish.
Come on. You're invited.
Come on, Jake.
-Come on, boy, get your breakfast.
-Hello, Jake. Hello, boy.
Do you like fish, Jake? Come on, boy.
When are you leaving town, Michael?
You know, I can really relax on fish.
It sits just right.
Not too heavy and not too light.
That rhymes. Not too heavy, not too light.
Eat more fish. Sits just right.
When are you leaving town?
-You said that.
-But you didn't answer me.
Well, to be serious about it, I don't know.
Well, when do you think?
Can't think on fish.
I inherit that from my grandpa.
Michael, stop poking at that fire.
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
I'm the Boy Scout here.
My eyes.
-Here, you goop.
-I'm blind.
Well, it serves you right.
Don't you know any better
-than to go playing with fire?
-Keep still, it hurts.
So would your finger
if you stuck it in a buzz saw.
It hurts something awful.
All right, all right. Don't cry now. Don't cry.
Papa will make it all better for you.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
See? All better?
Michael, I forgot it was Sunday.
Miss Wilson,
you look after the sale of tickets.
Mrs. Moffat will have charge
of the refreshments.
And Mrs. Cobb will take charge
of the clothing booth.
I'll manage the raffle.
-Rebecca, you will...
-I know.
Well, I guess there is only
one more thing to discuss.
That's what day we'll have our bazaar.
But before we go into that,
I think we'll have our tea and cake.
-Theodora.
-Yes, Aunt Mary.
Well, if you ask me, Mary,
there's just one thing to discuss
at this meeting.
That is the conduct of Theodora.
Rebecca, and all of you,
Theodora might make a few little mistakes
out of a generous impulse,
but she couldn't do anything sinful.
You know that, because you've known her
since she was a child.
So I won't have any aspersions cast.
Is that plain?
That isn't a true hexagon.
By the way, our gardener is leaving
in the morning.
-Michael.
-Well, come in.
I'm washing out my only shirt. Come in.
No, I can't. I've got to get back.
I just came over to say that...
What's he doing?
Who, Jake?
He's after the cheese in the mousetrap.
You came over to say what?
That you've got to leave, Michael.
I promised you'd go in the morning.
There was a quarrel about it yesterday.
It's really serious.
We can't joke about it anymore.
You've simply got to go.
-Hey, Jake. Jake. Come here, you fool.
-Jake.
Come here.
Come here, and let me take your foot out.
Come here, Jake. Come here. Oh, Jake.
Come here and let me take your foot out.
Haven't you got any more sense
than to go stick your foot in a mousetrap?
I don't think it's broken any. There.
Shall we go on with the meeting?
We're waiting for the tea, Theodora.
Theodora.
Well, why don't you ask me
what you want to know and get it over with?
Did I go out there
because I heard the dog yipping?
Or did I go out in the first place
to see the gardener?
The tea, Theodora.
You've all made up your minds
about it anyhow,
so I may as well tell you the truth.
I went out there to see him.
To tell him that I don't want him to go.
But he's got to go because you want him to.
-Theodora.
-lt doesn't matter what I want.
You're telling me what's good for me,
what's proper, what isn't proper.
You have been telling me that
since I was three years old and I'm sick of it.
You've glared and scolded
and frightened me all I'll stand for.
And now I'll tell you something.
I'll tell you something you'll never forget.
There's no law that can put that gardener
off these premises.
And he's going to stay right here.
This is a free country, I said.
I'm over 21, and what I choose to do
is none of Lynnfield's business.
I invite the whole town
to take a jump in the lake.
Swell.
That gardener's going to stay here
as long as I want him to, I said.
And that's forever, because I love him.
What's Lynnfield going to do about that?
I love him. I always will.
And there's nobody in this town
who's going to stop me.
Swell.
That's what I said, Michael.
It was the truth.
Swell.
I was thrilled to hear myself say it.
Right then I knew
I never could have sent you away.
Well, when you finally did let go,
you certainly rocked the world, didn't you?
I guess you and I have
a lot of things to talk about.
Yes, I guess we have.
We'd better not start tonight, though.
Are you proud of me, Michael?
I'll tell the world, baby.
Baby?
And Uncle John said nobody in Lynnfield
would ever call me baby.
Good night, darling.
Michael. Michael.
What? What?
-10:00, Mr. Grant.
-10:00? Well, what of it?
You know I didn't get to bed until 4:00.
Get out of here.
Your father telephone.
Say he be here at 10:00.
My father? Well, why didn't you wake me up?
I wake you, but you don't wake.
-Did you straighten up the living room?
-All fixed.
There he is now. Always on the dot.
Let him in, Toki.
Hello.
-Theodora.
-Hello, Michael.
Hello, Jake.
Well, here, let's do something about this.
Toki. Toki, take him out in the kitchen
and give him a bone. Have you got a bone?
No bone, but got nice lemon pie.
You forgot Jake. I thought you'd want him.
Why, yes, of course I want him.
Thanks very much.
And you want to know why I left that note
and ran away.
Theodora, writing that note
was the most difficult thing I ever did.
Oh, yes, the note.
I know you've got an explanation coming.
I ran away, because...
Because I threw myself at your head
and you were frightened.
No. Because I felt the same way about you.
You didn't know that, did you?
I didn't know it, either, until that night.
Until you stood there in my arms.
Then I knew I loved you.
If I'd had any idea that it was ever going
to be as serious as this,
I never would have gone to Lynnfield.
In view of my circumstances,
I had no right to go playing at hearts
with a swell person like you.
What circumstances, Michael?
Mr. Grant? Yes, you can come right up.
There he is now.
Please, I'd rather you didn't stay.
He can be a little difficult about some things.
Be a good girl now, run along to the Ritz
and I'll meet you there at 1:00 for lunch.
The Ritz? Where's the Ritz?
You mean to say
you don't know where the Ritz is?
Well, now, if you came to Lynnfield
and I said
to meet me in Willoughby's Meadow
for berry-picking,
you'd be a little confused, wouldn't you?
Theodora, you're stalling.
Why, Michael Grant, I'm not stalling.
Listen, do you know
what avenue you're on now?
No, I don't. Tell me about it.
Well, you're on Park Avenue...
How'd you get here if you didn't know?
Oh, homing instinct. Like a pigeon.
Now, please listen, Theodora.
You go right down Park Avenue,
then you turn to the right
until you come to Madison.
Oh, never mind. It's too late.
Will you please go in another room
or go sit down some place?
I'll go sit down some place.
-Hello, Father.
-Michael.
-Hello.
-Agnes.
Hello. I wasn't expecting you.
You disappoint me, Michael.
Running out of town without telling
your family anything about it.
Where were you?
Who's this?
Miss Lynn from the Stevenson Office.
She's brought material for drawings
that I'm to make.
My father, Miss Lynn.
-How do you do?
-How do you do, Mr. Grant?
-How do you do?
-How do you do? I'm Mrs. Grant.
Oh, yes. My wife, Miss Lynn.
Where did you say you were?
-ln the country, sketching.
-Very pretty.
He will sketch.
Did you drift back to town accidentally,
or did you remember that I'm giving
a reception for the governor on the 20th?
Of course I remembered.
And of course you'll be there with Agnes.
-With Agnes?
-With Agnes.
Now, look here, Father,
this pretense of a happy marriage
has gone on long enough.
It's been washed up for five years,
and I'm sure Agnes is just as sick of it
as I am.
If not sicker.
I thought it was agreed there would be
no divorce as long as I held public office.
If Agnes is agreeable,
I don't know what you're kicking about.
-Yes, I appreciate...
-You gave me your word.
And that's the way it's going to be.
You owe that much to the name of Grant.
Especially after your choice of a profession.
Now, you know
what's expected of you, Michael.
Come, Agnes.
-Good day, miss.
-Oh, goodbye.
I can scarcely wait
for the governor's reception, dear.
-Toki, bring me some coffee, black.
-Got some nice lemon pie.
Well, it's all clear now, isn't it?
You know something, Michael?
What you need is an artist's model.
-A what?
-An artist's model.
Why, I haven't the slightest use for a model.
Well, the right one
might be a great help to you.
-I don't want a model.
-Don't struggle, Michael, you've got one.
-Who?
-Me.
-What in heaven's name for?
-What for?
Certainly what for?
Well, to mow the lawn, transplant things,
a little plain and fancy whistling, you know...
Oh, I see. It's a joke.
That's very funny.
You mean I did some gardening for you
and so you're...
Yes, I'm going to return the favor
and do a little modeling for you.
-That's very funny.
-You see, you're living in a jail, too.
-You can't call your soul your own.
-Oh, come now.
Why, it's true.
Why, you're a clear sad case, my boy.
Tied to a woman you don't love.
And so afraid of Papa
you can't do anything about it.
Now, wait a minute.
If you are trying to find any similarity
between your situation and mine,
oh, no, you couldn't mean that, really.
-Finally, your whole outlook was wrong.
-And yours?
Mine? Well, I'm simply in a position where...
Well, I was brought up
with pride of family, that's all,
-to respect the old boy.
-I see. And you love me, Michael?
You know I do. I meant every word I said.
And when I'm free, darling,
the world is ours.
And when will the world be ours, about?
Well, just give Pop time to serve his term
as Lieutenant Governor.
He won't run for office again, I'm sure.
That means that within two years...
Michael! Two years for people of our age
is a lifetime.
Oh, no. It may seem that way, Theodora...
Why, it's true. It's right.
Why, if you had any courage,
if your outlook were right, why, you could...
My, how you need a model.
Here, wait a minute, Theodora.
Will you please discuss this with me
like a normal human being?
-Well, just a moment, please.
-What are you going to do?
Hello, those boxes and things that were left
in the foyer downstairs.
Will you please send them up
to Mr. Michael Grant's apartment?
What boxes? What things?
Some new outfits I just bought.
Wait till you see them.
I've got hats. They sit on an angle like this,
I'm telling you.
And dresses,
I'm an open secret down to there.
Where's your tool house?
Theodora, exactly what do you think
you're going to do?
I'm just returning a favor, darling.
How? By moving in here
and breaking a scandal around my ears?
Oh, a scandal is all in the life of a model.
Theodora, either you're mad,
or you're fooling.
Listen to me.
I'm going to handle this in my own way.
If it takes two years, it'll take two years.
You're not going to force a situation
between me and my father and Agnes
by moving into this apartment.
Oh, I'm in. Oh, come in, boys, come right in.
Come right in, boys.
Put them down any place. Any place at all.
My, my! I didn't...
Oh, it's nice of you to come up.
Would you put it down there?
Oh, you're in, huh?
You're going to have things your own way?
Well, we'll see about that.
Toki, Miss Lynn is in.
Pack up my things. I'm out.
Why...
-Yes?
-Miss Adams. Miss Caroline Adams.
Yes, yes, of course.
How are you, my dear?
Fine.
Your mouth's open, Arthur.
Oh, I'm fine, too, thanks.
You might say, "ln the pink."
You can tell that, can't you? It cost enough.
But I didn't come here
to have a friendly visit.
I came here to have a fight.
I'm dissatisfied with the treatment
I'm getting from my publisher. I mean you.
In short, why don't I get
any publicity around here?
-Why, my dear Miss Adams...
-My dear Miss Adams. My dear Miss Adams.
Yes, you sit there and call me Miss Adams.
But who else knows I'm Caroline Adams?
Nobody.
The widest-selling author in the country
and nobody knows anything about me.
Has it never occurred to you
that the sale of my books
might jump enormously if it were known
that I'm fairly young and modern
and halfway respectable?
And if the facts were broadcast
about my life in Lynnfield,
don't you realize
what a story that would make?
-Well...
-No. No, obviously not.
It seems publishers don't care anything
about increasing the sale of their books.
Well, authors do. We've got to live.
A thing like this is darn expensive.
Now, I'll give you one more chance,
Mr. Stevenson Publishing Company.
I want publicity. I want a lot of it.
I want my picture on every jacket
of every book of mine that's sold.
And I want the story of Theodora Lynn
and Caroline Adams splattered
over every paper in every town in the Union.
Will you come in, please, Miss Baldwin?
And bring your book.
And, oh, one aspirin for Mr. Stevenson.
Or shall we make it two?
Holy smoke!
Hello. Hello. Bertha. Get me the Bugle.
Hurry up.
Jed? Jed, listen. Associated Press dispatch
to Lynnfield Bugle.
Wait a minute, Clarence. Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. No. Yeah.
Clarence, just a moment
until I catch my breath.
Boys, boys, now don't get excited.
Take it easy, take it easy.
Yes, hello, Clarence. Yes, go ahead. Yeah.
Yeah. No. No.
Yeah. Is that all?
Boys, do you remember that type we used
when war was declared?
Dust it off, boys. Dust it off. It's war.
War, I'm telling you, it's war.
Mary. Mary!
Mary!
It's war!
Civilization is marching on Lynnfield.
Oh, Theodora, I thank you.
I thank you. I thank you.
On every front page in New York
she's giving your address, your apartment.
How long before they'll know
it's your apartment?
Call the police and have her thrown out.
With all New York looking on?
That will be nice publicity
for the governor's reception.
You're marvelous, Michael.
Here is a notorious woman.
Did you read what she says about herself?
"Hidden away in a hamlet,
her soul enslaved."
-A woman leading a double life.
-lf not triple.
Yes. And you have to go up in the country
and get in the middle of it.
He was sketching it.
If this gets out, the governor will have fits.
Not to mention
the disgrace to the name of Grant.
You know, if this woman's really out
to break up our marriage, Michael,
maybe you and I ought to root for her.
You sit tight, Agnes, and do as you're told.
That'll be splendid, but let me say this.
If this woman really starts after Michael
and it's talked about all over town
and I'm made to look
like a foolish deceived wife,
I'll have to do something to save my face.
And I'll most certainly bring divorce action
against Michael immediately.
Did you hear that, Michael?
Yes.
-Pardon me.
-Pardon me.
-Pardon me.
-Pardon me.
-Pardon me.
-Pardon me.
-I beg your pardon.
-I beg yours, sir.
I have this to say
to the modern young girl, gentlemen,
be free, express yourself. Take your life
in your own hands and mold it.
The world will try to rob you
of your freedom,
but fight for it.
It's all you have to live for.
-Miss Adams.
-Just relax.
That's all for the modern girl, gentlemen.
What else? Ask me anything.
Have you started a new book, Miss Adams?
Well, no, I haven't.
But I have it pretty well in mind.
Well, would you care
to say something about it?
I'd love to. It's about how love came
to a girl in a small New England town.
Outwardly, she seemed to belong
to that narrow benighted little community,
but in her heart,
she longed to be called baby.
Out of the great big city,
there came to this little hamlet
the man who did call her baby.
From there on, gentlemen,
the story warms up.
-Oh, Miss Adams.
-Just relax, sister.
I haven't quite finished it yet,
but I guarantee it for interest,
if you know what I mean.
Would that be the story of your life,
Miss Adams?
-Oh, well, I shouldn't wonder.
-And who would the man be?
The man? Oh, now, come now, gentlemen.
A lady is entitled to one secret.
-Miss Adams.
-Just relax, and by the way, Miss Adams,
is this Michael Grant's apartment?
Michael Grant, did you...
Well, yes, this is Michael Grant's apartment.
I was just getting to that.
It's a very interesting story, gentlemen.
Uncle John, Uncle John, come in.
Mr. John Lynn, the gentlemen of the press.
Uncle limps a little with the gout.
Brought it on himself.
The only Lynn I'm proud of.
Theodora, may I have
a word in private with you?
Oh, certainly.
I'm afraid that's all for today, gentlemen.
But what about Grant and this apartment?
You were going to tell us
the story about that.
Has Grant anything to do with the big bad
man from the city who called you baby?
Well, now, couldn't we save that
until tomorrow?
But don't be far off, will you?
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Now, if you please, Miss Adams.
Didn't you hear me say that I wanted to
have a private word with my niece?
-I beg your pardon.
-I beg yours.
How's tricks, Uncle?
Come on, snooksie. Get up.
Go on, run along, boy. Sit down.
Theodora, you're terrific.
It's just about what you'd planned for me,
isn't it, darling?
You exceed my wildest hopes.
Do you know what your aunts wired?
Those two delightful old relics? No. What?
"Theodora's gone wild."
-Tut, tut, I haven't started.
-Now just tell me this.
-ls everything all right?
-Fine.
-Feet on the ground?
-Both feet.
I knew it.
A Lynn may go wild, but never silly.
Now, do you mind telling
your nosey old uncle
what made all this happen?
What makes the world go round, darling?
Say no more. I think I just saw the rascal.
That's the guy that banged the door
on the way out.
Oh, he'll come back. How's Adelaide?
It's about time to send her up to that home.
Oh, then she's going this week.
And I'm going to tell that funny little
old husband of hers
that he's going to be a papa.
Good.
Now, how about us going out
and painting the town red?
I'm ready and raring to go.
When do we start?
That's the next thing on the program.
It's true that at present Miss Adams
is residing in my apartment.
But in case you're tempted to publish
any conclusion
regarding my relationship with Miss Adams,
let me warn you...
Please be advised.
Please be advised that I have never had
the pleasure of meeting the lady.
Having never been in Lynnfield in my life.
I think that's smart in case they try
to tie me up with that
-"man who came and called her baby" story.
-Very good.
And furthermore, the only thing
I have in common with Miss Adams
is our friendship with Mr. Arthur Stevenson.
During a recent fishing trip,
Mr. Stevenson wired me and asked
if Miss Adams could have the use
of my apartment while she was in New York.
I was more than glad to accommodate.
Paragraph. The above facts can be verified
by telephoning Mr. Arthur Stevenson.
All right, Miss Baldwin.
Get that out to the papers
and all the news services as fast as you can.
Yes, sir.
I could kill that woman
with my two bare hands.
Excuse my laughing, Michael.
I know this is very tragic to you
and your magnificent family.
But it's awfully funny to me.
-What's awfully funny?
-Yes, what's so funny about it?
Why, here's this carefree rollicking spirit
who's been going around for years
sticking his nose in everybody's business
and now he's finally got it caught
in a meat grinder.
Yeah. Very funny.
See that your nose doesn't
get caught in it, my pet.
Who, me? Why, what are you talking about?
It's all perfectly clear to me.
That adorable young thing
is an unholy terror on wheels.
There's nothing in the world more deadly
than innocence on the manhunt.
Why, sweetheart,
you don't think for one minute...
No, I'm telling you, my love.
You get on guard and stay on guard.
On account of little Ethie won't stand
for any fancy steps from her ducky-wucky.
You get funnier by the minute, darling.
-Hello.
-Hello, Arthur angel.
I've got full steam up
and you're my only hope for the evening.
Uncle caved in
and Michael is off moping somewhere.
Hello, Mr. Green.
There's someone there.
That's right, dear, don't give us away.
Shall we say 7:30 for dinner?
Why, I haven't had a chance
to read that contract yet, Mr. Green.
I'm afraid I couldn't discuss it
with you tonight.
Well, I might suggest tomorrow
sometime during the day.
Oh, but it's got to be tonight, sugarfoot.
Because otherwise
I'll find myself another publisher
and then you might lose
your very best little writer.
Yes, yes, goodbye, Mr. Green.
Yes. That was Mr. Green.
Theo, you wouldn't leave me
and go to another publisher, would you?
No. No, Arthur. No, I wouldn't dream of it.
I wouldn't leave you. Come on.
-Here's your house.
-No, this is your house.
No, it's your house. But I want to see
that you get upstairs all right.
-Can I help you, lady?
-No, I think I can manage somehow.
Say, you can't take her away from me.
I'm a better publisher than you are.
I don't know
what you're talking about, mister.
If you'll just put your arm
around my shoulder and lean on me.
That's right. Don't dream of it.
If some other publisher comes to you
and tries to take you away from me,
makes you a big offer, you just come to me.
I'll do better, see?
Yes, I will. I will.
If you leave me, Theo, the House
of Stevenson would just fall to pieces.
-Arthur, I wouldn't.
-You can't leave me, Theo.
You gotta reconsider.
That's the thanks I get. I discover you,
I make you famous, you leave me flat.
-I'll stay with you forever, Arthur.
-I know. The old knife in the back stuff.
Listen, listen, how much did he offer you?
I'll double it. Tell me?
Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
Where's your key, Arthur?
-Where's your key, Arthur?
-Where's your key?
-Oh, this is...
-ls this it? 805?
-No. 805.
-All right, all right.
Now, look. You let me get to the elevator,
then you press the bell.
Okay.
-Good night, Arthur.
-No, Theo, you can't do that to me.
-You've gotta stay with me.
-No, no.
No. Listen, Theo,
ask me whatever you want and it's yours,
only don't leave me.
Oh, good evening.
Oh, hello, Ethie. Hi.
Cheese and crackers.
I got it, Clarence. I got it.
Sam. Henry. Clear the whole front page.
Okay, Clarence, I got it.
"Theodora named in divorce action."
Disgusting.
"Theodora, the other woman,
in suit brought by wife of publisher."
"Charges misconduct
"between Theodora Lynn
and publisher of Adams' books."
Her publisher.
Did you see this brazen picture of her?
Lynnfield's daughter
is burning up the big town.
Small-town girl in big-time scandal.
How long is this kind of sinfulness
going to make up
the principal reading matter
for our children and the whole community?
-How long?
-Yes, how long?
Ask Theodora.
If you aren't satisfied with the answer,
stop Jed Waterbury from printing it.
But you wouldn't do that, because
this community is too all-fired nosey.
You couldn't stand not knowing
what's going on.
It's making us just a little sick of Lynnfield.
As long as I can remember,
this town's always wanted to know
what's cooking in the Lynn pot.
I think that's about all, Rebecca.
Well, I hope you're satisfied.
You've blasted Ethel's life to bits.
Don't be silly, sweetheart.
Ethel understands.
She telephoned this morning and said
the divorce action would be withdrawn.
-Come on in, and make yourself at home.
-No, Theodora.
Do you realize that you're getting yourself
the worst possible kind of a reputation?
-Oh, then you do care, Michael?
-Stay right where you are. Go on.
Keep your hands busy.
Keep on playing the piano.
Theodora, listen to me, if you make any
scandal before the governor's reception...
Theodora, please get out of town
until that reception's over.
That's all I ask of you.
If you do, I'll do anything.
I'll come up to Lynnfield
and talk to you within a month,
only please get out.
You're making my life miserable.
That's the struggle that's going on
within you, Michael.
But don't you worry.
The light breaks suddenly.
And then you'll rise up and tell Papa
what I told Lynnfield.
And then you'll be so happy.
I'll be happy when I'm darn
good and ready to be happy
and not a minute sooner.
-Michael. Michael.
-Stay right where you are.
All right, Michael, look at me.
Tell me, do we still have to wait two years?
Theodora, why can't you
be just a little reasonable?
-Who's that?
-I don't know.
-Oh, yes, the reporters.
-The reporters?
Yes. Come on, Michael. Now is your chance
to make a declaration of independence.
And tell them all about us right now.
-Never. If you tell them my name...
-ls Miss Adams in?
-Hello. How are you, Miss Adams?
-Hello.
Who's this?
The name's Brown, you snoops.
Montmorency Brown. Undertaker.
His Excellency, Governor Wyatt,
and Mrs. Wyatt.
-Good evening, Mrs. Wyatt.
-How do you do?
-How are you, Michael?
-Good evening, Governor.
-How do you do, Michael?
-Governor.
-Still painting, eh?
-I'm afraid so.
Pity he isn't a statesman isn't it, Governor?
Painter? Statesman? Same thing.
Get your hands dirty at both.
Seems to me Michael Grant
figured in the papers lately somehow.
I can't for the life of me recall the incident.
Oh, you don't mean in the story about
that terrible woman, do you, Mrs. Wyatt?
Yes, that's it.
Didn't she have your apartment?
-What woman's that?
-Oh, some awful woman novelist.
With quite a private reputation, Governor.
Well, well.
Of course, I've never had
the pleasure of meeting the lady.
You see, while I was on a fishing trip,
I received a wire from Mr. Arthur Stevenson,
my publisher,
asking if she could have the use of my
apartment during her visit to New York.
Of course, I was more than glad
to accommodate.
And then, well, you know the newspapers.
I hope steps were taken
to clear this up, Jonathan.
Certainly, Stephen, certainly.
Your father and I have been very careful
to keep this administration clean, my boy.
Yes, yes, I'm sure of that, sir.
-May I have this dance, Mrs. Wyatt?
-Oh, delighted.
Oh, Stephen, may I remind you
that there are 100 women
just palpitating to dance with you?
Well, if I must, I must. Shall we?
Thank you.
Very starchy party.
Well, I guess now we start following
glad-hand Steve around
and recording
the governor's moments of play.
Boys will be boys.
Couldn't you smile just once
for the sake of appearance?
Charming.
Suppose you try it.
Angelic.
Isn't this a lovely party, Jonathan?
Oh, you dance divinely, Governor.
-Thank you, Miss...
-Adams.
-lt can't be.
-And she snagged the governor.
You're a splendid dancer, too, Miss Adams.
-Oh, Governor.
-Yes, indeed.
Pardon me, Governor.
Do you mind, Governor? Smile. Thank you.
Thanks.
-Pardon me, please. Hold it.
-Thank you, Governor.
Thank you. Thank you.
-Charming, Governor, perfectly charming.
-Why, thank you, thank you.
-Tell me quick, is that the woman?
-ln person.
This is terrible.
Michael, in five minutes, everybody
in this house will know who she is.
They've already got a picture of her
with the governor.
I'll take care of that.
You see that she gets out of this house.
Take her out into the garden
or on the terrace, anywhere,
and keep her there
for the rest of the evening.
Hush, Jonathan.
Well, well. A delightful party.
I have just had the most fascinating dance.
Allow me to present Miss...
-Adams.
-Yes, yes, Miss Adams.
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Grant.
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
-And the Michael Grants.
-How do you do?
-So nice, Miss Adams.
How do you do?
It is a delightful party, isn't it?
I don't know when
I've enjoyed myself so much.
-And the governor dances divinely.
-Thank you. Thank you.
Give me a charming lady to dance
with and, well, I'm young again.
Well, there we are again, Miss Adams.
May I have the pleasure of this dance,
Miss Adams?
Young blood trying to force
an old boy on the sidelines?
You may not have this dance, my boy.
It's mine.
Miss Adams is my discovery
and I am going to keep her.
Keep an eye out for my wife, please.
-Well?
-Leave it to me.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Oh, it's quite all right. Quite all right.
-Governor, you are very cruel.
-How so?
Well, I'm simply expiring to dance with you
and you've no use for me whatever.
The next one is yours, my dear.
Well, I'm afraid I can't wait, Governor.
Would you mind very much?
Well, naturally I would,
but then of course I know just how you feel.
Oh, thank you.
Do you remember this tune, Mr. Grant?
Shall I sing it and you whistle?
If you so much as open your mouth...
How did you get in here?
Well, now, if that isn't the funniest thing.
You know, I said to myself,
"l bet Michael is going to ask me
how I got in here."
How did you get in here?
Michael, dear, this is hardly the place.
Will you tell me?
Well, the Stevensons had invitations
and decided not to come.
-So I just said to myself...
-Come on out here.
-That's my elbow.
-It's too bad it isn't your neck.
-Would you mind, Mr. Grant?
-No, no.
I'd be delighted. Is this all right?
I'm sorry. I've just met the lady with whom
I've been connected so much in the papers
and I'd like to make her acquaintance.
I'd also like the privacy of the garden
for a few moments, if you don't mind.
-Go right ahead.
-It's your garden. Go ahead.
Don't catch cold.
You're here to start something.
What are you here to do?
-Do?
-Don't tell me.
Wherever you are these days,
something happens.
Why, Michael.
Now listen to me, Theodora,
if you cause any scandal here tonight,
I'll never speak to you again in this lifetime.
That also goes if you aren't out
of this house in two minutes.
It also goes if you aren't out of my apartment
and outside of New York in two days.
Is that clear?
-Do you mean all that big speech?
-I mean every word of it.
-That I'm to go back to Lynnfield?
-To Lynnfield.
-And wait?
-And wait.
Then this is goodbye, Michael?
Yes, but there's no need to go to pieces,
especially here.
Oh, I'm all right. I'll go. I'll go back.
But I would like to have something
to remember you by.
-Sure. Sure, anything.
-A kiss?
Not here. When I see you off,
I'll come down to the train.
-But you won't. You'll be afraid.
-No. Yes, I will.
-Well, you won't.
-But I will.
Thank you, Miss Adams.
Why, you lowlife sneaks.
You dirty, double-crossing...
If you print that picture,
I'll break your necks.
If you print that picture, I'll skin you alive.
I'll track you down to the...
And as for you, if I ever said I loved you...
What's going on here?
The notorious Caroline Adams, novelist,
in the arms of my husband.
-Who?
-Yes, that's right. Isn't that nice?
Jed, this is hot.
"Mrs. Michael Grant sues for divorce,
branding Caroline Adams love thief."
Henry, we use the red ink on this one.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy.
Yes, siree. Hot diggety dog.
-Two in a row.
-Pride of Lynnfield.
The brazen hussy.
I only hope that Mary and Elsie
are bearing up. That's all I hope.
Jed. Jed.
Shoot. What now?
Associated dispatch.
"Caroline Adams vanishes."
What? You don't mean it.
-Rebecca.
-Rebecca.
No trace of Lynnfield's famous daughter
in seven days.
John, stop your gabbing, John.
Do you know where Theodora is
or don't you?
Why, I'm surprised you even bother
about Theodora.
After all her scandalous behavior.
What's so scandalous about it?
Fine time for a wild old buzzard like you
to turn moral. Hypocrite.
The old skate.
Elsie, where do you suppose she is?
Have you seen the baby?
Yes, he's a whopper. A face like a full moon.
Thanks for coming up, Theodora.
Oh, don't be silly. I had nothing else to do.
I brought someone with me.
He's standing right outside the door.
Your baby's papa. Roger.
Go on, stupid. Go on.
Lynn, Miss Lynn.
"Plan to arrive Saturday on the 10:15. Love."
What do you know about that?
Well, who's it from, idiot?
Theodora. Theodora.
Clarence, this is a private telegram.
Don't go spreading it
to the whole of Lynnfield.
Me? Why, I'm surprised at you, Mary Lynn.
Oh, we'll welcome her, all right.
I for one am going to stay right indoors
and pull down my blinds.
And when she finds herself
coming into an empty depot,
I hope she'll understand
she isn't wanted in Lynnfield.
We have the solemn word
of every man, woman and child in Lynnfield
that nobody will set foot
in the direction of that depot.
How are you, Harry? Hello, Eddie. Great day.
The decorations are nice,
don't you think, Mary?
Only there ain't enough of them.
How are you, Elsie Lynn, Mary Lynn?
How are the two oracles?
Let me shake hands with you.
-Nice day, Jed.
-Greatest day in the world, Mary.
Great day for Lynnfield.
Great day for Lynnfield.
Quite a turnout, eh?
You know,
I always knew Theodora had it in her.
How do you do? How do you do?
How do you do? How do you do?
Well, I got to thinking it might be better
to come and just stare at her.
Till she drops through the ground
for shame.
Well, look who's here.
Lynnfield's Literary Circle.
Jed, Jed Waterbury,
who brought this band here?
I did, Rebecca Perry.
Now you get a lawyer and try to stop me
from spending my own money any way I like.
Here she comes, lads, here she comes.
On your toes. On your toes. Now watch me.
Let 'er go!
Welcome home, Theodora. Welcome home.
Suffering cats.
-Where did she get it, Grandma?
-You go home and stay home.
On your toes, me lads, on your toes.
You'd think they'd never seen
a baby in their lives.
So help me Hannah. This town gets
more narrow-minded every day.
He is darling, isn't he, Aunt Mary?
-It's all right, Adelaide.
-Are you sure?
Sure. Nobody will see us.
Oh, so you're bored, sissy?
Well, snap out of it!
She'll be here in a minute.
Come on. Come on, get up here.
Get up here and let's rehearse our speech.
Now listen, you're Theodora and I'm Michael.
Theodora, darling.
Theodora, darling, I am free and I thank you.
I've never met so many people in all my life.
Theodora, we are free...
Michael. Michael.
Michael.
Michael, wait a minute.
-No, you don't. Shut the door.
-Michael!
Michael, what's the matter with you?
Michael. Michael. Michael.
How can you be so... Michael!
How do you expect me to be when
I come back and find something like that?
-Wait a minute.
-Don't say "Michael."
Talk about cutting loose.
You certainly cut loose
when you got to New York.
Let me out of here, will you, please?
-Michael, it isn't mine, you stupid.
-Oh, no?
No. It's Adelaide Perry's.
It's yours, Grandma.
Rebecca.
Michael, you idiot.