They All Laughed (1981) Movie Script
1
You don't have to start following her until...
That was the Man in Black...
...and this is WHN
1050 on your dial...
...the home of country music
in New York City.
It's a beautiful Monday
here in the Big Apple...
...so if you city slickers
are feeling blue...
...stay right here.
I'll be right back.
Stavros!
Been a long time!
Long time.
My wife.
How are you doing, Mrs. Niotes?
I just got in I have to leave!
Tomorrow, I go with him
to Washington.
So take good care of my wife.
Father Father!
Come in here and look at this!
It's beautiful...
No. You stay here. I'm flying.
You watch your mother.
Are we going to the Plaza,
Mr. Niotes?
That was Rodney Crowell
And now, real quick...
Here's another newcomer doing very well
And I hear she's a New Yorker...
Christy Miller "Kentucky Nights."
Keep it right here, Sam.
Sam who?
Well, what's your name?
My name's Deborah.
That's why I called you Sam.
Makes sense.
I'll take the tangerine
if you give me a butt.
What are you, a cop?
What, do I look like a cop?
Could be my brother was a cop.
So?
So, your brother was a cop.
Take the drive up here, will you, Sam?
Okay, boss.
Who's your friend with the beard?
You all mafia or something?
You smoke too much.
Doing a lot better.
Used to be three packs.
Your friend with the beard is weird.
I'm gonna finish a pack now.
Too much.
- I know.
- Goddamn things are killin' people.
I gotta stop.
Yeah, I stopped.
Your friend.
He don't smoke don't like music...
You weird, like your friend
with the beard?
Me? Oh, no, Sam.
Me? I'm a charmer.
Get off up here.
I'd like to.
Oh, Sam...
Okay, Sam I'll see you later.
I think you will, boss.
I don't know what I like
better about you...
Your freckles, or...
...your freckles.
Oh, you are a...
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Wait for me, Stefania.
Oh my god! The best girls on Earth!
I knew you were coming today!
I knew it!
- I knew it, too, daddy.
- You did not.
I was the one who said let's wait a little longer.
You didn't say anything.
- But I thought it.
- She thought it.
- She's just lying again.
- No I'm not.
Oh, you're smoking, Johnny.
Jesus how'd that get there?
"How'd" that get there...
That's Sam, fellas.
This is Steffie.
- How's it going, Steffie?
- Pretty good.
- And Gina.
- Howdy, Gina.
- Howdy.
- Gotta drive!
Yeah, go ahead, Sam.
Have a good day!
See ya later, kids. Nice to meet you!
So long, daddy...
That a new one?
What do you think?
- She's very pretty.
- I liked her freckles.
-Oh, did she have freckles?
- Yeah, daddy, she had a lot of freckles.
Daddy noticed the freckles.
Well, thanks a lot, Stefania.
- What about Christy?
- Ah, Christy, Christy, Christy...
"Christy, Christy, Christy..."
You always say that, daddy.
Why do you do that? It's so cute.
I don't know why I do that...
- I haven't seen you for two days!
- It's been two days, daddy!
Shut up, idiot! Stop repeating everything I say!
- I'm not!
- You are!
Well, maybe she has the same thought
and you keep feeding it to her...
I had the same thought.
Very boring.
Daddy, can I have a pineapple?
What are you gonna do
with a pineapple in school?
Who's gonna cut it for ya?
Your mother'll buy you a pineapple.
How is your mother?
- She's okay.
- She's okay.
She threw a jar of roses at Dad...
...I mean at Cliff.
Roses, huh?
I don't know why I called him Dad.
I don't call him that anymore.
- Don't worry about it, kid.
- Mommy likes for us to call him Dad.
No? She doesn't care...
Don't worry about it! This is kid shit.
Call the guy whatever you want!
I mean
You see a lot more of him than me.
I'm the one who left...
Sometimes we wish you were together.
But then we wouldn't have met Christy
or Alicia...
...or Suzanna.
Is she still in Albuquerque, New Mexico?
Yeah, she'll be there for a while.
Christy's so funny. I like her.
I like Alicia.
I like Alicia too.
I didn't say I didn't like her.
You like Christy better.
No I don't. I like them both.
Sometimes I feel sorry for Christy, though.
Why's that, angel?
- I dunno.
- Christy is funny, daddy.
Christy's in love with you, daddy.
Yeah, well I love her too.
But you're not in love with her.
What the hell do you know about it?
Women's intuition!
It's women's intuition, daddy.
Will you cut that out?
C'mon. You'll be late.
- Did you finish that case, daddy?
- That's why you didn't see me start a new one today.
Got a date tonight?
- How about the cab driver?
- Good. I don't like when you're alone.
Stop worrying. You'll get an ulcer.
I love you, daddy.
Oh, Gina, my Gina.
When can we have dinner?
How about tomorrow?
Okay. Bye.
See ya later!
Be nice to your mother!
- Good luck tonight, daddy!
- Good luck tonight, daddy!
There you go again! Stop doing that!
Yo, cab!
Take me down to Wall Street, will ya?
God, she looks awful pretty
in that dress.
Keep your mind on business, Charles.
Dark yet?
I don't think so.
Whatever you say, Chas.
Do you think she's gonna meet her
boyfriend, or the husband, or...
We"re gonna find out.
Come on, let's go.
Mmm, it's so hard to say.
Yeah, I think it happened once, but...
You never know...
Do you love him?
No.
Are you sure?
I'll see you later. Bye!
It's a hotel!
Good, Chas.
Can I help you, sir?
No, thank you. I'm... well, uh...
Yeah, uh, do you have...
...actually, I've eaten, so maybe...
Do you have a speciality? Or...
I could have, uh... a tomato juice...
...on the rocks, I guess.
Very good.
Unless... thanks...
Forget it. Hold that one.
I never wanna talk to her.
Wait. Hold on a second, Amy.
The gaucho just showed up.
Mrs. Martin's boyfriend.
He's got a girl with him
I wish I knew.
No. Nah.
I dunno who the other girl is.
I tell ya I'm gonna find out.
Tell Johnny where we are, will ya?
Gotta go, kiddo.
I'll see ya later.
Yo, Mary you got a butt?
It's Sylvia.
Glad to hear it, Sylvia. You got a butt?
Sure, why not? Something wrong
with your eyes, junior?
Yeah. I'm dazzled by your allure.
Got a match?
Where ya gonna be later?
I'm busy.
With the gaucho?
Maybe. What's it to you? You know him?
No. Nuh-uh. do you?
Aren't you getting a bit nosy?
How I can help it?
Nah, he's just a friend. Rich kid.
He's cute, though.
At least I can see his eyes.
Well, the shades come off at midnight.
Where you gonna be?
Here you are, sir.
What? Oh...
Alright, thank you.
Georgie George, one of the great men
Can I use your phone?
Sure, Johnny. Go ahead.
Working?
Nah! Never.
Yeah, honey will you get me the Algonquin?
Honey, page Arthur Brodsky
in the lobby for me, will ya?
Mr. Arthur Bromsky?
Mr. Arthur Bromsky?
Yeah? Yeah?
Telephone.
Brodsky.
Yeah? Hey, Johnny what's happenin'?
The plaza? What are you doing at the...
Oh yeah? Really?
Not much.
Ms. Martin's just leaving with her boyfriend.
What? Oh, not again.
Christy's not that dumb.
Tipp City, pal.
Do not worry I'll be there.
What was that?
Johnny no big deal.
Go, go, go!
Maybe we'd better stop leaving the
boyfriend out of reports, Chas.
Boyfriend...
Four times this week, already!
- Yeah, but never alone with him.
- Yeah.
- Until today.
- That's what I mean.
I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
Easy. Easy. Good. Right here.
Thanks, pal.
He asks a lotta questions, the husband.
Is it dark yet?
Yeah, I guess.
Just one hit for me. It's gonna be a long night.
Me too.
Look at it this way, Chas...
She's in pre-bop with her boyfriend...
She's in post-bop with her husband.
If she goes into post-bop with her boyfriend,
she'll be...
She'll be in ex-bop with her husband.
And if she's in ex-bop with her husband...
...the case is over we get paid, and...
...well, then it's every man for himself.
Yeah, it's the post-bop with her boyfriend
that worries me.
Yeah, well it's the post-bop
with the boyfriend that worries everybody.
That's what we got the job for.
Chas. Remember?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chas. Remember?
I know, I know, I know.
No, no, no, I'm going. Keep it.
I'm gonna go see Johnny.
Call me at Christy's later
if you can, okay?
I'll see ya.
Hello, beautiful.
Fallen
I have no place left to go
No one to help me
I've been sinkin' like a stone
I've been callin' the blues
my firstborn
And one old lonely room my home
I've been blinded by these city lights
Dreamin' of Kentucky nights
What's a country girl like me to do
I've been livin' with my foolish pride
and driven by the rain
But there's nothing in this city
But the heartbreak and the pain
Now, lover
You mean so much more to me
Than livin' in this lonely town
And tryin' to be free
I've been spendin' all my time up north, alone
But those Appalachian mountains are my home
I've been blinded by these city lights
Dreamin' of Kentucky nights
What's a country girl like me to do
I've been livin' with my foolish pride
and driven by the rain
But there's nothing in this city
But the heartbreak and the pain
Did my best
Can't get no rest
I tried to make these city ways my own
I tried to find
What's on my mind
I guess that country feeling's in my bones
I've been blinded by these city lights
And dreamin' of Kentucky nights
What's a country girl like me to do
I've been livin' with my foolish pride
and driven by the rain
But there's nothing in this city
But the heartbreak and the pain
You're a shit.
Christy Miller, ladies and gentlemen!
Christy Miller!
I, for one, am sick and tired, honey
Sick and tired.
I'm not going to be another
one of your passive ladies...
...trembling at the thought of you...
Willing to put up with any
kind of mouth treatment...
Just for the glorious opportunity...
...of spending a glorious night with you...
once in a week once in a blue moon...
No, sir not by a long shot, honey.
Nuh-uh. No way.
Unfortunately, honey, you're some kisser.
And you're very mean to me.
Very mean.
What you need is a nice guy...
...who watches every set...
...has drinks waiting for you
in the dressing room...
...rubs your feet at night...
...sprays your throat...
...tells you how terrific you are...
...makes eggs in the morning...
You made eggs once...
And I burned them.
I thought they were delicious.
Why did you look at your watch?
- I didn't know what time it was!
- Why? Do you have a date?
Yeah. Redhead. Tall, freckles...
she's a cab driver.
She gonna take you for a ride?
A little ride.
You're such a liar.
I think...
Yo, Christy!
It's Arthur.
Sounds like it.
What is Arthur doing here?
I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
Did you tell Arthur to come down here?
Why would I tell Arthur to come down here?
Something's fishy.
Come in!
Hello, Christy. Pardon the intrusion
I've been looking for Johnny. Have you seen...
Oh, hello, Johnny.
Well, what's up, kid?
Well...
- We've got a little problem.
- Yeah, the Martin case. Leon is...
...furious.
He's foaming at the mouth.
He said...
If you're not down here right away,
you're all fired.
Well, I guess you'd better go!
Yeah, I guess I'd better go.
I'll, uh, see you soon, hmm?
I doubt it!
Oh, sure, sure.
Hey! Where are you going?
Where are your skates?
I gotta get this guy...
Sylvia, I don't know what I'm
gonna be doing later yet.
I gotta find some other guy, first.
I'd love to be with both of you
Particularly, your friend Tulips...
Hey how ya doin', Chassy-boy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, brother...
Oh, god, thanks...
What the hell are you doing here?
I dunno. I dunno what I'm doing.
Did you smoke that whole joint?
I was just standing there...
The whole joint...
...looking at her...
Next thing I know, I'm out here
on these skates like an idiot...
Look, we're gonna get ourselves
in big trouble here...
You know that. I think we should take
things just a little bit light.
I know, but let me kiss her on the mouth...
Oh, the husband's gonna like that one!
Oh, no, no, Arthur!
I've got that figured out!
What?
- What?
- You've got that figured out...
Oh, yeah! Yeah! If the boyfriend...
Shit...
Yo, Chassy what are ya doin'?
Better take yourself a little break
here or something...
I'll be right back.
Yo, Tulips!
You two know each other?
Huh? Who? Her? No.
Well Sylvia Tulips, this is
What's your name, again?
Quite a maneuver...
Not bad, huh?
Just give him your name, kid.
He's tenacious as hell.
They call me Barbara Jo.
Hey, Barbara Jo, what do ya know...
How about a lil' skate
C'mon, let's go!
Are you okay?
I'm very well, thank you. How are you?
Sam, Sam, the ice cream man.
How was your day, kid?
I'm starving.
Yeah? What did you have in mind?
I'm not particular.
Frozen pizza?
Well...
I am a little particular.
Yeah, well, I know a little French joint.
Sounds chic.
Chic, it ain't.
Deborah! How ya doin'?
Fine. Fine.
Creep.
- Friend of yours?
- Briefly.
His heart is broken.
Did you see it all over his sleeve?
You think so?
- I can see why, too.
- You're just a romantic.
Yeah? What's wrong with romance?
Nothing wrong with it.
It's just hard to come by.
Never had much of that, eh, kid?
Not much. I just don't like
sleeping alone, I guess.
Gotta bundle! Why don't you bundle?
- Why would I bundle?
- Yeah! Bundling.
A guy and a girl sleep in the same bed...
But there's a board between them
A wooden board.
He can see her he can hear her breathe
But he can't touch her.
What are they gonna do
if they can't handle it?
They get splinters!
This line here
This is your heart line.
It shows you're very emotional.
Emotions are terrific.
Besides nobody can help how they feel.
Uh-oh. Now here's a problem.
What's that?
You're married, right?
Right!
Well that line's a little short.
It's weak.
But that's not what I'm worried about.
No?
There's a bad romance here.
Oh really?
Very bad you see this line?
It goes nowhere.
Boy that doesn't leave me with much,
does it?
Well, now I dunno...
There's something new right here...
Very promising. You see this line?
It goes on forever.
Maybe that's my skating line.
Your skating line...
No that's your true passion line.
But it's clear of the marriage line...
It doesn't start 'til...
Are you getting a divorce?
You're getting very personal,
aren't you?
I'm sorry I'm very sorry...
It's just that you've got to be clear
of the of these...
I gotta go.
You do?
Well, thanks for the reading.
Do you have a phone?
Do I have a
Yeah Trafalgar 33901.
Bye!
Can you remember...
Excuse me I'm sorry.
I'm not being rude
It's just that my shoes are...
I left my shoes
And my roller skates.
Hey, Willy he's a friend of mine.
Let him slide, alright?
- Okay, Arthur.
- I'll catch ya tomorrow.
Listen I have a knot...
Go ahead.
Go ahead. You're covered.
Oh here.
Hey, Chas!
How ya doin'?
I'm fine! Go ahead.
Wait...
C'mon.
C'mon, Chassy.
Go!
- C'mon. Make this turn up here.
- Christ!
- Have you got your...
- Yeah, I've got it right here. Gimme your foot.
- I'll take care of it.
- What happened? Did you get anything?
Plenty. Three votes says
their marriage won't last.
Oh, sure but what about the boyfriend?
The gaucho?
Two to one, she won't. Tulips thinks yes.
Tulips thinks yes...
Heavy no from Barbara Jo.
Sylvia's on the fence which is where I'd like her.
- Sylvia's on the fence...
- ...which is where I'd like her.
- See ya later, BJ. I'll call you.
- Yeah, do that. I'll be home.
Good I liked his hair.
Huh? What?
Nothing.
- Here's your change. For you.
- Thanks.
Heavy move, bro.
Something must have changed
our lady's mind.
You think?
Chassy, Chassy...
- You think?
- I know.
I gotta go see Barbara Jo
and find out some mo'.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What about what about...
Stop. Smoke this try to get some sleep...
It's gonna be a difficult day tomorrow.
She knows you now.
By the way I met her.
Worth the wait.
Did I snore?
Bad?
Kicked?
Couple. No bruises.
No splinters.
Listen you know where the key is.
Any time you...
- ...need a good night's sleep?
- Yeah, that's right.
See ya later.
Hey, Ritzi how ya doin'?
Hey, Johnny where's Arthur?
I dunno! I was gonna ask you!
Huh, tell him to call me, will you?
I will I will.
Arthur!
Shit.
I'm sorry, Arthur. I wasn't thinking.
Lovesick. The girl's lovesick.
I'll call you at 6:30 tonight, definitely, Rita!
She's gonna knife you one day.
Well, what can you do? It's love.
Yeah, she's gonna have to get in line
After Leon.
You too?
Why? What happened?
I called in from the gym
It's Dolores's day at the gym.
Ah, it's "Dolores" now.
He was icy.
Worse, he was polite.
I gotta get back to the gym...
What, did you spy on her or something
this morning?
No, no, but it's so much rougher now.
I mean...
Yeah, Barbara Jo knows me...
Not as well as I'd hoped by now,
but, nevertheless...
What did you guys do, blow your cover?
No, no, but we spoke.
You spoke.
For a while.
A little while.
Long enough.
A little longer.
I figured.
But they didn't connect us.
Yet.
Well you're gonna need a beard.
A front!
Odyssey Detective Agency
We never sleep...
Could you hold, please?
Amy, Amy, Amy.
Hi, Amy, is Leon busy?
Charlie, where the hell are the reports
on the Martin case?
Oh, well...
We got 'em, Amy. Any calls?
Yeah.
- Mandy...
- Nuh-uh.
- Sherry...
- Nuh-uh.
- Terry...
- Terry, Sherry's sister, Terry?
The same.
Hmm. Interesting.
- Any calls for me, Amy?
- Just your father, Charles.
Ah, father again.
Good, why don't you call him back
and ruin your day?
Oh, God.
Charles.
Hello, Mr. Leondopolous how are you?
Where the hell are the reports
on the Martin case?
Yes, well it's been a little
hectic lately, Leon.
We got 'em, Leon
They just ain't typed yet.
Then we don't got 'em, Arthur.
The typing isn't some middle-class
bureaucratic curlicue.
And I would really prefer not to
hear exasperation...
...in anyone's tone this morning.
Because I'm on the narrow edge
of a precipice...
And even the smallest additional irritation
could cause me to slip over into a gaping abyss...
Out of which I gravely doubt
it would be possible for me to climb...
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
Holy mother...
Shit, that burns.
Charlie?
- I know...
- Get the ice.
- Got it
- Butter...
Ice, ice butter just fries...
Once a week, it's the same story, Leon.
Thank you. Thank you.
It's alright.
In any event in any event...
When Mr. Martin called
this morning, for information on his wife...
Thank you, Ms. Lester...
For the first time in three weeks...
Thank you, Ms. Lester...
I would have been content with scribbles
On toilet paper!
Anything would have been
better than nothing.
Charles the file was empty.
It's all right here
I'll have 'em for you tonight, Leon.
- He'll have 'em for you tonight, Leon.
- Tonight's too late. I need them now.
He needs 'em now...
- But I gotta back to Dolores...
- I could take care of all of this with Amy.
You have another call on 4,
Mr. Leondopolous.
Go ahead, Chas.
We can handle the whole thing,
Mr. Leondopolous.
They can handle the whole thing, Leon.
Well, somebody handle something.
John!
Yes, Leon?
Can I see you for a minute?
Sure. Sure definitely.
Let's talk.
You have two calls, Mr. Leondopolous.
I'm well aware of that, Ms. Lester.
One of them is Mrs. Leondopolous...
Hello yes?
I wanna hear every word the doctor said...
Thanks, Amy.
You're welcome.
I love your flippers you know that?
I know that.
Odyssey Detective Agency
We rarely sleep.
Oh, hello there, Christy.
What a pleasant surprise!
Good morning, Amy
You're looking very well this morning...
- Why, thank you, Christy.
- Very well.
Thank you, Christy.
Where's Mr. Russo's desk, Amy?
Do you know?
Right over there, Christy
Not too far from Mr. Russo himself.
Thank you, Amy.
I can see you're all working very hard today.
Morning, Christy how are ya?
Good morning, Judas.
I have a few things here that
belong to Mr. Russo...
And I'm sure he'll be needing them
a lot more than I will.
Yes, Harold be quiet now.
Whose stuff is this, honey?
I think you've got the wrong guy.
Very funny.
Excuse me.
And Charles
How are you doing this morning?
I'm a little frazzled...
Odyssey Travel can I help you?
Just a moment, please.
Arthur, it's for you on the travel line
Barbara Jo.
Barbara Jo?
Hello, Jo what do ya know?
You're looking very sexy today, Charles.
I am? Well, I'm running late that's all...
You mean you always look sexy
when you're running late?
I guess I'll have to keep you tardy...
Yes, Harold.
Say hello to Harold, Charles.
- Hello, Harold.
- Okay, Jo. Gotta go.
What's up?
Little rendezvous at the gym.
Uh, Christy, I have to go.
- Can you gimme a lift, Charlie?
- I really can't.
- Well, thanks a bunch, Charlie...
- I'm sorry.
- Well, where are you going?
- Uptown.
- Well, that's where I'm going.
- Way uptown...
You shave today, Charlie?
What? Yes.
Funny from here, looks like
you got a beard...
A beard?
Nope! Smooth as silk.
Oh
Christy, where did you say you were going?
Uptown.
No kidding
What a coincidence so am I!
Come on I'll give you a lift.
Why, thank you, Charles.
It's been a rough day
My toilet exploded this morning.
- Is that so? - Yes, I flushed it quite innocently
You would've thought a bomb went off!
I'm just lucky I wasn't sitting on it!
Yes. Thanks for calling.
Listen we'll have to get back to you.
I saw all that.
What did you see?
Nothing.
- Type.
- Shoot.
Three Mondays ago when was that?
Oh, good.
Copious notes.
Alright, dearest. Alright.
Yes.
God.
There's a virus going around.
Excuse me my back...
People are dropping like flies.
Well, I haven't seen anybody dropping, Leon.
I see a couple of joggers...
They'll be dropping soon.
Last night, Leon,
I went to bed with a twenty-three-year-old.
Redhead.
I put my arms around her
Kissed her and went to sleep.
Is there something wrong with her?
Nah there was nothing wrong with her.
Well, in that case, it must be spring.
Oh, is that it?
Well, I've been noticing a certain
distant, dreamy look in your eyes as of late...
And I get the impression
that your personal life is...
Yeah, well...
Sometimes we could all use a nap.
- What's with that husband?
- Stavros?
Yeah, Stavros that husband.
Odd.
That marriage is odd.
When's he leaving?
- Tonight. For five days.
- Does he fool around?
I dunno, really.
But then he was always something
of a ladies' man...
Actually I haven't seen him
for fifteen years.
This is his second wife;
I knew the first one.
The guy believes in marriage...
Don't we all?
Yeah, that's right.
Well I'm gonna take the kid with me.
You gotta go easier on your back, Leon.
What's that supposed to mean?
It's supposed to mean
you gotta go easier on your back.
You ready, son?
Yeah good enough, Pop.
Is there anything I can read?
There will be, Mr. Leondopolous.
Odyssey we never sleep.
Could you hold, please?
Take care of his back, Amy.
The man is delicate he's a delicate man.
Oh, I know.
Thank you, Ames...
Bye, boys.
Yes?
Just a moment, Mrs. Leondopolous I have another call.
It's your wife again.
I left.
Where'd you go?
Anywhere!
Yes Mrs. Leondopolous I'm sorry.
He left for an early lunch.
Can I give him a message?
I will. Have a good day.
- She's feeling much worse.
I- 'm sorry to hear it.
So am I.
Amy, I think John is suspicious.
You do, huh?
He keeps making jokes about my back.
Well, he's probably right
We're overdoing it.
You think so?
Why don't you stop right here, driver?
That'd be fine.
- Okay, Mac.
- Here, keep it, thanks a lot.
Charles, you certainly are the most
impulsive man I've ever met!
- Repulsive, did you say? - "Im"! "Impulsive",
Charles! I don't think you're repulsive at all!
No, I just thought you might like
some orange juice or a hot dog...
- I think you're very handsome! - Why, thank you,
Christy, I think you look pretty good yourself...
Would you like some orange juice
or a hot dog?
Yes actually, I'd like a very large
orange juice yes...
A very large orange juice, please?
Are you Greek?
Thanks a lot, honey.
Besides, Charles I thought you were late.
Uh, no, Christy
My watch is fast...
Would you like to take a walk?
Why don't we cross the street?
Honestly, Charles,
you are strange sometimes.
Oh, I'm sorry, Christy.
Would you like to sit down?
What'd you have in mind, Charles
The curb?
You sure you don't wanna come up
for a little lunch, Charles?
I can't cook a thing,
but I know where everything is...
Do you like eggs, honey?
'Cause I've got eggs and there's bread, I think...
Is there bread, Harold? Do you remember
Yes...
Harold thinks there's bread, too, Charles.
Um I'm not really very hungry, Christy.
- Oh, you're not?
- No...
- Would you like some new shoes?
- New shoes?
Would you like some new shoes?
Those are pretty old, aren't they?
Well, thanks a lot, Charles! These happen to be
an original '30s design from the '30s!
That's what I mean
Wouldn't you like some new ones?
Charles...
Here you take Harold.
So firm about it...
Wow, look at those beautiful shoes, Harold
Aren't those nice shoes?
Can I help you?
We'd like to see some of the new shoes.
Yes, but we don't sell
used ones here, sir.
Oh, that's good.
This way.
Oh excuse me I'm terribly...
Oh. Sorry...
Do you like these, Charles?
Huh? Oh, sure terrific.
Do you?
Okay, I'll try 'em on I think I'll check a dress out too.
Keep an eye on Harold,
will you, Charles?
Harold easy.
I like this one.
What do you think of these, Charles?
Jesus, Christy, what are those?
Where'd you get those? Those are very unattractive...
Oh, I hate 'em, honey.
I thought you liked 'em.
No, no
I was talking about these boots...
Here why don't you try these on?
Anything you say, Charles.
I just gotta get out of this dress
It does absolutely nothing for me...
Thanks a bunch, Charles.
He just...
Harold I can't even let
the guy keep a dog!
I cannot believe this I'm really sorry
Harold...
Harold just calm down...
Hi I'm really sorry.
Sorry I'm Christy Miller.
Oh, hello you're the singer!
'Fraid so The record's climbing
the charts as we speak...
I'm Dolores Martin. Pleased to meet you.
Oh, nice to meet you...
Mrs. Martin, or Ms. Martin?
Mrs.
Oh, Mrs...
And who is this tall drink of water?
Jos, this is Christy Miller
The country singer!
Hello nice to meet you.
Charles! Come here!
Who, me?
Of course, Charles is like
the absent-minded professor, y'know.
- What? Who?
- Charles.
This is Charles.
Charles, this is Dolores.
Hello, Charles.
Nice to... meet you, Dolores.
And this is Jos, Charles.
Charles...
Hello who are you?
I'm Charles, Jos. How are you?
I am Jos.
Oh, good.
Nah the husband.
The husband?
And the kid.
You think?
Ah, yeah there she goes.
Hey no skating around here.
Yeah, sure alright.
You did say only a week, Father right?
Maybe more, maybe less...
Maybe it depends on your mother.
Father...
Okay take care of your mother.
Bye, Angie.
Be good both of you!
And the flip-side of the record
is doing so well...
I think it's gonna be a hit, too.
I'm really excited about it.
Don't you think so, Charles?
I certainly do I certainly do...
What?!
My goodness, Charles.
You really are distracted...
I was just telling Dolly
about the record...
How excited I am. It's fantastic
It's just been really, really rough rehearsing...
But they're great.
Don't you agree, Charles?
Charles, what are you looking at?
Uh, Christy, what time did you say
Friday night?
Eight o'clock!
Eight o'clock fine.
Are you girls coming Friday night to Greene Street?
You're acting awfully peculiar, Charles.
Anyway, that's Friday
What time do you wanna meet for the night, Charles?
- Oh, anytime. Anytime at all is fine.
- Oh, the time! We're late for class! We'd better go.
Oh, gosh. Okay.
Bye, you guys!
- Bye, Dolly. Nice to meet you!
- Bye, Jos...
Christy Christy here you go.
I'll see you tonight, then okay?
Wait a minute, Charles
Why don't you come up to my place for a drink?
- I really can't, Christy. I gotta get back to the office...
- Charles, you are tense and nervous and apprehensive...
We are going to go
to my apartment right now...
And I don't wanna hear another word
about it!
Well, I do feel kinda tense...
Taxi!
I don't believe you, Charles!
Really. I don't.
The dog is injured Charles...
I'll cover the side.
Take off your skates.
What?
Take off the skates.
We should go in, you think?
We're gonna pick her up.
Oh my god.
Your father's good at this...
I'm not!
Well, it's very difficult.
- Wanna try it?
- What did you have in mind, Laura?
Cute.
Laura, Laura the face
in the misty light...
Give my son a rifle
Give him a rifle.
Gee thanks, Pop.
He's not really your son.
Sure he is!
He curls his hair to embarrass me.
He's an aging hippie, my son.
Finally.
Mike, I thought that was me.
I think it was you.
Thanks, pal.
What is that, bro?
You got a Polish accent, there? What is that?
Me? Oh, no English.
- No shit? Well, excuse me.
- C'mon, wise guy. Let's see a little action.
Laura, you're reading my mind.
There.
Congratulations.
Easy. Take your time, Arthur.
Easy!
Yeah, Arthur take it easy.
It's good! It's scattershot!
I can't miss...
Well, you hit everything
but what you wanted...
Story of my life, sweetheart...
Perhaps he should aim.
What's that, Mitchell?
Michael.
Well, hiya Mike. I'm Arthur.
That's my father that's John.
- Come on, darling. It's late.
- Oh, just a second.
See you have to aim carefully
at the lower part of the light.
And then you have to squeeze slowly.
I can't believe it, Michael!
You're a prince.
Prince Mike thanks a lot
for the tip.
Oh, that's okay.
- Buh-bye, nice meeting you...
- Listen, Mike, one other thing...
You ever play computerized checkers?
No I don't think so...
Laura you mind showing me and
my son here some of those moves?
I've got a hunch you know the moves.
Pretty hot stuff what do ya think?
Puzzles, puzzles.
Please
My husband has me followed.
Yeah, I know.
I'm following you.
I don't know what to say.
I don't, either.
Why don't we have lunch
and talk about it?
Mmm, no, I'm sorry
That's not possible.
Oh, sure it's possible.
It may be difficult,
but it definitely is possible.
Now you bring your son
I'll bring mine.
That's not your son,
Mr. Russo.
Michael can we go?
- Did he tell you?
- Shh. Easy.
Tell me what, darling?
-They're working on something secret.
- Top secret.
Yes! And we mustn't tell anyone
we've met them.
They're undercover!
That's why the hair.
I see.
They need our help.
You two certainly think of everything.
Come on.
Hey, Laura I'll see you after work.
Yeah? Fat chance.
Better than none.
For the penguin.
I'll see you later.
She's in love with me.
I noticed.
Hey, Mike got a girlfriend?
-Oh, two, three. Nothing serious.
- Oh, you've got a stable already...
I wouldn't call it a stable...
I'm gonna follow you
until you change your mind.
Well, I guess that's your job.
See ya.
Bye. I'll see ya.
Pop?
What?
What do we do?
I dunno.
I think you'd better get
your sisters.
- My sisters?
- Tell 'em they're working.
Yeah, yeah.
Here we are home at last.
And don't tear around too much, Harold.
Be a good boy.
Yes, Charles, just put it right there
Go ahead, Charles!
Relax, Charles, Relax.
Isn't he sweet?
Do you hate dogs, honey?
- Because I can lock him up.
- No, no! Not at all.
I'm making an album, Charles.
Do you wanna hear it?
Sure. Nice view...
Why, thank you, Charles.
Why don't you sit down? Make yourself comfortable.
Can I get you a drink?
Yes, Harold. Now calm down, honey.
You got a vodka?
Why, we certainly do, Charles.
There a match around somewhere, Christy?
On the way, honey
But I'd imagine that cigarette's probably a year old.
Oh, that's okay.
How are you doing out there, Charles?
Is Harold bothering you?
No, no no, it's fine.
Thank you.
Don't you just love that song?
Oh, it's very nice.
Here you are, Charles
Although I don't approve...
Do you wanna lie down or anything,
Charles?
No no
I really don't feel too well, Christy.
Don't you, Charles?
What is it?
I think I've got a headache.
Well, that's alright, Charles...
-We don't have to do anything.
- Why don't we just talk?
Of course!
Why don't I give you a massage, Charles?
Why don't I give you a Touch Assist?
- A what?
- A Touch Assist.
- A Touch Assist...
- It'll relieve all your pressure, Charles...
You'll feel like a cloud in pants.
A cloud in pants?
Come on!
- What?
- Well, you do have to lie down, Charles.
Come on. It won't hurt.
Nice the way the music does that there,
don't you think?
- Very nice.
- Haven't done that room yet.
Look, Charles I've got a terrace!
Wanna step out on the terrace?
That's not a terrace, Christy!
That's a ledge!
No, really, Charles! Come on!
No Christy don't.
My goodness, Charles.
You really are nervous today.
Now take off your tie and jacket,
sweetheart. And your shirt.
I'll be right back.
Wanna play on the terrace, Harold?
Now, Charles I can't very well
give you a Touch Assist if you're standing in the corner.
Christy, I don't think I'm...
- Really in the mood for...
- Of course not, Charles.
I'm going to give you
a Touch Assist...
And then you can go get ready
for tonight.
Now c'mon. Lie down over here...
Oh, isn't he cute? He wants to play.
Now, calm down, Harold.
Charles is very tense...
He's had a hard day.
Come on, Charles. Lie down.
Don't you wanna take off some
of those clothes, Charles?
You'll feel a lot more comfortable.
No, no it's alright.
I'm quite comfortable.
Now, that's enough, Harold.
You leave Charles alone.
We're going to give Charles
a Touch Assist.
Here we go now, Charles.
Just relax, honey.
Isn't that song nice?
Very nice.
Feel my finger?
Yes, of course.
Good just concentrate
on feeling it.
Feel my finger?
Say it, Charles.
Yes.
Close your eyes, darling,
and feel my finger.
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Feel my finger?
Christy, I really don't think I can
I feel there's a lot of pressure here.
Feel my finger?
Yes, I feel it, but...
Just hold me close Charles.
We don't have to do anything.
Christy...
Put your arms around me, Charles.
Nuh-uh none of that, now...
Feel my finger?
Christy.
- Feel my finger?
- Yes, but...
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Charles.
Yes?
Feel my finger?
Christy, I...
Do you feel my finger?
This is a little crazy, isn't it?
Yes. Feel my finger?
Yes. God.
What is it, Charles?
Feel my finger?
Oh, Charles...
'Scuse me, honey.
Might be my agent.
Oh, sure. I feel much better now.
Hello? Who?
Jos?
Oh, hello, Jos. How are you?
It's Jos.
- Something happen?
- What?
Wait a minute, Jos
Calm down, Charles...
He's just checking on the time
for tonight he's sending a car.
Eight is just fine, honey.
Can't wait.
I said, I can't wait!
Wait! What?
Nevermind, Jos.
We'll see you tonight.
That boy is very attractive,
but I don't think he understands the language.
Yeah, well
Everybody has that problem sometimes, Christy...
Don't you think?
I certainly do.
Kiss me again, will you, Charles?
I really like you, Christy.
You know that?
Yeah, I know and why don't we
just keep it that way, right?
Don't you think?
Yeah, I guess.
But why don't you kiss me anyway?
It's such a nice afternoon.
Okay, right here.
Alright let's go. Come on
We'll get new skates here we go...
Here we go, my gorgeous girls.
'Scuse me are these seats taken?
Oh, by the way have you seen Arthur?
Yeah Where is Arthur?
Where is Arthur?!
I thought it was you!
- You did not.
- You did not.
- He didn't tie his shoelaces!
- Oh my god...
Arthur! Where did you pick these two up?
- We're his sisters.
- We're his sisters.
They're my sisters!
They're his sisters.
I really fell right into that one,
didn't I?
I'm not saying!
I don't think she's saying...
Arthur always watches us.
Arthur's used to kids.
Are you saying you don't trust me
to take care of these three midgets?
No I'm saying I don't know
who's going to take care of me.
- John will.
- That's what I'm afraid of.
You're not making sense, Mother.
The evening doesn't make any sense.
- John is very good with women.
- He has a lot of girlfriends.
Will you shut up?
- C'mon, we'll drop you back off at the hotel.
- No.
That's very good, Mr. Russo.
Mother, I promise we'll be careful.
- You're going skating.
- Yeah, we'll wait for you there.
We'll wait for you there.
Thank you, Mother.
- I didn't say yes...
- You didn't say no.
- The kid's got a point.
- Come on. Let's get a taxi.
Arthur, now, you take care of them.
Don't worry!
Taxi! Taxi!
As for you
You forgot this guy before.
Oh yeah? Well, it's not mine
It's hers.
Here you go. I'll see ya later, Pop.
I'll see you too.
Take care, kid.
Michael, take care.
- Don't worry.
- Don't worry.
- Bye, Johnny!
- Bye, Johnny!
- You are unbelievable.
- Now, now, Stefania.
Why you have to repeat everything
from everybody? Seriously!
I never could deal with men.
I know what you mean.
I bet you do!
No, no, no with women.
Me with women.
Are you saying you don't know
how to deal with women?
You? That's funny.
You're a professional, Mr. Russo.
Women are your life.
Why don't you call me Johnny,
or Jack, or Jake, or Harry? Whatever you want?
Am I right or wrong, Mr. Russo?
About what?
About women being your life.
Well, uh could be so.
That doesn't prove anything.
It only really matters when you fall.
And when you fall,
nobody's a pro.
Alright what happens if a girl
falls for a pro...
And the pro doesn't fall back?
The girl's got herself a problem.
Anybody we know, we're talking about?
Only slightly.
Are you in love right now, Mr. Russo?
I mean personally speaking?
Personally speaking no.
What about you?
That's a silly question. I'm married.
That's why I asked.
Mr. Russo promise we'll never get married.
I promise.
Promise we'll never fell in love.
I promise.
Mr. Russo, I'm beginning to like you.
Honey, if you like country,
you're gonna love this place.
What? What?
It's a top country place, Jos...
Oh, I love this western music,
you know?
- You really can sing this?
- She has a hit record, Jos...
Have you heard it, Charles?
He's heard it, honey.
What?
Huh? What?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Christy Miller is in the audience with us tonight...
She thinks it's her night off,
but we're not gonna have that...
C'mon up here, Christy!
Sing with us!
C'mon! Everybody sing!
Ladies and gentlemen Christy Miller!
Now, this is funny.
What's funny?
I was gonna invite you around for a drink.
I live up here.
Ah, what a coincidence!
But I see my friend's using the place
A cab driver I know.
That's the hack.
Using or, uh...
No, no, just hanging out.
Oh good I'll have a chaperone.
Where's that drink?
Over here.
Your friend's a music lover.
Very fond of music.
It's me, Sam.
Oh I was just writing you a note.
That's Angela, Sam.
Hello I'm Deborah.
I was just leaving.
Hello, Deborah.
What are you drinking?
I gotta work. I drive a taxi.
Yes, he told me
I'll have a scotch.
- Do you enjoy it?
- How?
- Oh, it's okay.
- Neat, thanks.
I drive for my dad.
He had a bit of y'know.
Oh, I'm sorry how is he?
Oh he's great
He'll be great.
Uh so long.
I left the keys on the table.
Thanks for the place!
Sure, Sam. Anytime.
Nice meeting you.
Why do you call her Sam?
Because she doesn't
look like a Deborah.
She doesn't look like a Sam.
She looks more like a Sam
than a Deborah.
Why don't you call me Steve?
Okay, Steve...
But you you look like an Angela.
How is that, Angela?
It means "angel," doesn't it?
Now you know why my husband has me followed...
I am a brazen woman
who cannot be trusted.
Mmm-hmm. I had another idea.
Me you reminded me of someone
I knew in school.
My eighth-grade nun.
I was in love with her.
I'm sure she was
in love with me, too.
I waited for her to
make the first move.
Did she?
Just now.
I think it's so sexy,
having that car follow us all the way.
And how about Charles?
Is he a little smitten,
or am I nuts?
It seemed a little obvious he wanted
to take your friend home alone.
Huh? Oh alone, yeah.
You're awfully cute
Are you rich or something, honey?
Oh, uh a little.
I think I'm falling in love.
Love? Do you want love?
That's right, bright eyes.
How old are you?
Me? I'm nineteen.
You're not.
I'll be twenty soon.
Mmm, well there's no hurry, honey.
I come for a drink, yes?
You come for a drink, no.
I have to rehearse very early
in the morning.
I have to rehearse very early.
Call me, now!
Right here's fine.
Well...
Well.
I gotta go, my husband...
Yeah I gotta get up early anyway.
-Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Go ahead easy.
Pumpkin, what's over there?
What are you smelling over there?
What's the matter, Pumpkin?
What is it, Pumpkin? Huh?
What is it?
Why, Charles
What are you doing down there?
I I couldn't leave.
What do you do, Charles?
You never told me.
Uh travel agent.
Y'know
Tours planes trains...
Buses y'know.
How weird.
Is it? Why?
You don't look like a travel agent.
I don't?
No you don't.
Wh what do I look like?
I don't know exactly
But not a travel agent.
Maybe...
Yeah?
More like...
Someone who travels himself.
Take us to Foley Square.
What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know I'm on duty?
It's an emergency
Would you follow that cab?
- Just drive. I'm sorry.
- What cab?
Right up there I'll show you
Just drive, drive, drive.
I'm sorry we're very late.
It's okay, Mac
You need any help?
- What?
- No, thank you very much!
Hey, buddy...
Hello, judge I'm sorry I'm late...
Hiya, kids wait 'til I tell you
who I just saw here...
Mrs. Niotes...
Sorry, Mrs. Niotes,
this just came for you.
Thank you.
It's okay it's from your husband.
Have a nice day.
Mother?
C'mon, let's go!
What's the matter?
Nothing, darling.
It's from your father.
He's coming home tonight.
Really? Good.
Not so good
We have to leave tomorrow.
Leave? I thought it was two weeks
It's only been one!
Well, something must have come up.
What'll I tell Georgina?
She'll be so disappointed.
What about you, kiddo?
I'm disappointed, too.
Good then we're all disappointed.
Have a nice day, darling.
Bye-bye see you tonight.
Don't think about tomorrow.
Where to, lady?
Oh no, that's all, thank you.
What're you staring at, bozo?
A vision in Stuyvesant town.
They oughta keep you here
Dress up the place.
Aren't we chipper?
You seen Arthur?
If I see him,
I'm gonna cut his thing off.
Okay, I'll tell him.
Five minutes, angel.
I'll bet!
Five minutes!
Angela! Hey, Angela!
It doesn't make any sense, Johnny
Not after the last four days.
It just doesn't!
Where the hell's Amy?
Where's Leon?
In here.
Leon?
In here, for God's sake.
Leon.
Charles, I was trying to reach you.
Mrs. Martin appears to have left
Mr. Martin...
She left him a note, anyway.
Where'd she go?
It was my fervent hope
that you would have that answer, Charles.
After all, Mr. Martin is paying us
for precisely that answer...
What do you mean,
where did she go?
Didn't you follow her this morning?
What is it your day off?
I lost her, Leon.
Oh, that's wonderful news.
Up around city hall.
They just disappeared...
I looked and looked.
Who's "they?"
She and Jos. They had luggage.
Who's Jos? Boyfriend?
Well...
I guess you could say that.
I guess I could say that?
Charles, you're not making any sense.
I want you to find out
where that woman is...
And I want you to find out quickly...
Because if we don't find out...
It's going to be very difficult
for Mr. Martin to justify paying us.
Oh, it's been a wonderful morning so far.
The Niotes case is ending.
I didn't tell you that.
No, you didn't.
Go ahead, gentlemen
Find that Martin girl. What are you waiting for?
Arthur, call a few places for a new secretary.
Amy has left us.
What's with Niotes?
I thought it was two weeks.
Has to get back to London
Some business thing I don't know.
He'll be in around midnight.
They're all leaving tomorrow.
John. I'm mortified.
Oh, she'll be back, Leon.
- You think so?
- Sure!
I guess you must have guessed
About...
Since the beginning.
- When?
- Three years ago. "When".
You've known about this for three years
and never told me?
- Yeah, that's right.
- My god.
Everybody's known.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Well who does?
- Good morning, everybody!
- Hold on.
- Christy, what are you doing here?
- I hope you're all coming to the new show tonight...
And how about these flyers?
Aren't they nice?
The record's doing so well
they're starting to spend some money.
People Magazine called for an interview!
I'll give y'all a plug.
Great in the sack, honey...
But lousy detectives.
Couldn't follow an elephant
up Fifth.
Girls slip through their fingers
like sand.
Christy, what are you talking about?
Do you know where they are?
Why, Charles what do you mean?
What do you mean,
what do I mean?
What do you mean,
"couldn't follow an elephant up Fifth"?
My goodness, Charles you're very agitated this morning.
What did you have a bad day in court?
There. Did you hear that?
She knows where they are.
- Where are they, Christy? Please? - You didn't shave
today, Charles. What, are you growing a beard?
Johnny, could you help us out
over here?
What's everybody talking about?
What's she got to do with all this?
Are you kidding? Christy Miller
has the scoop on everybody in town.
- Probably knows where Amy is.
- I do.
- You see? - What?
- She's in the ladies' room.
Okay.
Barbara Jo's playing dumb,
just like Sylvia, and just like Tulips.
- Just like Christy.
- Nobody knows zip, mmm-hmm?
What are you girls in
cahoots or something?
Girl, what do you think?
C'mon, honey give him the terms.
Wait a minute.
What's she doing in the ladies' room?
Some detectives.
Well, look who's here
Hello, Amy!
Hello, Christy.
Leon, say hello to Amy.
Hello, Amy.
Hello, Leon.
Okay, folks I gotta go.
See ya later.
I'll walk ya down, John.
Christy, you can't just
leave like this...
Could you hold a moment?
He missed you.
Thank you.
It's Mrs. Leondopolous.
Could you tell her I'm not here?
You tell her.
Hello? I'm not here. I'm terribly late
I'll call you later.
There.
Big deal.
Amy, I love you.
Well, why don't you kiss me, then?
Kiss you?
I wouldn't have it didn't even occur to me
that kissing would be appropriate...
Will you shut up?
Christy, this isn't very funny.
Arthur, tell her it isn't funny.
It isn't funny.
You'll just have to wait
'til tonight, honey...
It's only nine hours
I mean, honestly, Charles!
I wonder who they
they're talking about.
I'll let you know.
Are you coming tonight, Johnny?
I'm gonna try, kid.
I know what that means.
Now, look here, Christy this is my job, okay?
It has nothing to do with my personal interests.
Well, Charles
Pardon me if I laugh.
Bye, now!
- Christy!
- Better.
- What?
- We'll follow her.
Eh? Clever?
Right, right!
Look what I found.
How ya doin', Sam?
Can't complain, boss.
Johnny.
- Another cab driver?
- Singer.
Sorry to bother you, honey.
Hello, girls.
Here they told me I had to hand these out
They need the business. What can I do?
I've got one.
You're the singer
This is your show, isn't it?
Hi, I'm Angela.
Hi, Angela, I'm Christy.
Are you Christy Miller?
No shit?
There's some dispute about that, honey,
but thanks.
I love that record you did.
Thanks, honey.
Is Mr. Russo allowed
into your club, Christy?
Maybe you could take me tonight.
Is he allowed.
I gotta drive.
- Can you gimme a lift, honey?
- C'mon.
So long, boss.
Take care.
You too, Sam.
Thanks for the cigarette.
Thanks for the light.
See you folks tonight, but if you can't,
come any time!
Bye, Johnny.
Watch out for him, Angela
He's slippery as the dickens!
Are you slippery as the dickens,
Mr. Russo?
I dunno, but I'm dizzy.
Well, I must say you have a
very good taste in women...
Which is more than can be said
about my taste in men.
Uh-huh
Where does that leave me?
Dangling miserably, I hope.
Come on show me all the sights.
Tell me your funny stories.
And take me to your loft again
and ravish me.
You talk too much, you know that?
I know that.
I can't believe you drive a taxi...
You oughta be an actress or a
model or something! You're gorgeous!
Thanks.
I used to do a little modeling
It's a pain in the ass, y'know?
Well, it's all a pain in the ass, honey
Unless you're in love, of course.
And that's a pain in the ass.
The biggest.
Right where can you get me
some of that?
Well, I'd like a lot, darling.
Well, I'd love a ton, boy,
lemme tell you...
Yep here they come.
- What'd I tell ya?
- Hang on.
You guys, don't go anywhere.
Stay right here. Stay right here!
Where the hell do you think
you're going?
Hello, Mr. Russo.
What's funny now?
I've never had a girl at this particular time
call me "Mr." before.
I haven't been called a girl
in some time.
Haven't felt like one, either.
Well, you feel like one to me.
Could you tell how long it's been
since...
Since you felt like a girl?
You get used to anything.
Can you?
Do you know why
he has me followed?
I could guess.
Could you?
Some people figure whatever they're doing,
somebody else must be doing it too.
Where'd you go just then?
Everywhere.
Got a butt?
And that's it, right?
That figures.
What do you think I am a rat?
Let's make a swap.
A piece of news on Johnny
A piece of news for Chas.
Look at the poor sap.
He's already smoked two packs today.
What do you wanna do kill him?
Personally, I'm also late
for a little appointment.
Picking up Angela's kid...
Oh well, let's forget about the deal
I guess I've got no news to swap...
So, what are you doing later?
Sleeping.
Want some company?
You're welcome to the floor.
I'll take it.
You've got three chicks over there
already, Curly.
What're you gonna do about them?
You got a big floor?
It's nice to meet you, Sam.
You too, doll.
Thank you!
Let's go one-two-three-four!
Now, you don't have to worry about me, babe
Hook 'em up and head out to the places where you've been
Go ahead and fly like an eagle in the sky
When you land you'll find I'm still your friend
But I don't think I could take you back again
Where you goin'?
Where you goin'?
You can get there without me
So goodbye
Go on, goodbye
And remember
And remember
Though I'm setting you free
I won't cry
I won't cry
Ain't no need to bother about me, babe
Someone will come along
And he will take me by the hand
Together we will walk
Where the grass is green and new
And I'll even think about you now and then...
Dolores, will you marry me?
Okay, I will.
You will?
Well, yes after my divorce.
Well okay.
I can wait.
I've seen you toss and turn in your sleep, babe
Now your dream bag's packed
You've got your ticket in your hand
When you love someone
You want what's best for them
That's how it is
That's how it's always been
But I don't think I could take you back again
No, I don't think I could take you back again
Hey, everybody! This is my fianc!
Ain't he cute?!
I'll see ya later.
I'm watching you, Curly.
I know you are, Sam.
- Aren't you a little late?
- Yeah, why don't you gimme a lift?
I was thinking of that.
That's where I turn into a pumpkin.
I'm sorry we didn't see Christy's show.
Maybe tomorrow we can go.
Yeah, tomorrow sure.
Goodbye, Arthur.
Thank you.
For what?
So long, Mike. See you soon.
Maybe next year.
Right.
Oh Michael told you we were...
Yeah, but I knew.
I guess everybody knows.
What do you mean you knew?
I mean, I knew all this
was too good to last.
I'll see ya, Angela.
I gotta go meet with John.
Michael, you take care of your mother.
How is John? Where is he?
Still undercover.
So long.
You crying, Mother?
No, darling. The wind blew something.
How are the sisters?
Their mother and father
were sort of nice tonight.
I think Georgina's in love with me.
How about you?
Oh, I dunno. I love her,
of course, but...
I don't know if
I'm in love with her.
We're going to write
to each other.
That's good.
We'll see how it goes.
No commitments, eh?
It's better that way,
don't you think, Mother?
Much better, darling.
You're listening to Benny Goodman.
It's a beautiful Saturday morning, and we'll be right back.
He's here.
Angela, you remember Leonida?
Yes, of course.
How are you?
Fine, thank you.
So good to see you again.
And you.
This is Leonida's partner, Angela
Mr. Russo.
How do you do, Mr. Russo?
How do you do, Mrs. Niotes?
I must speak with Leonida
for one minute.
Will you please excuse us?
I hope the case turns out, John.
Thanks, Mike.
You make a good double agent.
Well, I'm going to check out the action.
I hoped so much you'd come.
I also wished you wouldn't.
Yeah, so did I.
We did have a promise on goodbyes,
Mr. Russo.
Yeah, that's right
We did have.
That's okay.
We're even now.
I broke the break one.
I broke that one, too.
You break all your promises,
Mr. Russo.
They're going to leave
without us.
Goodbye, Mr. Russo.
I hope to see you again.
So do I.
- Goodbye, Angela. Have a good flight.
- Goodbye, Leon. thank you.
Goodbye, Mr. Russo.
John.
John.
- Michael?
- Yes?
- Come fast, we have to go.
- Coming!
Goodbye, Michael.
Bye-bye.
I won't need you 'til tomorrow, John,
if you feel like...
...taking a little walk? Yeah.
See ya later, buddy.
Hi, boss.
Goin' my way?
What'd you have in mind?
Go over to Brooklyn,
raise some hell?
Sounds good.
What the hell are you doing
down here, anyway?
The lady.
Thought you might need
some lookin' after.
Got some splinters, eh, Johnny?
Got a few, Sam.
Well cheer up, boss.
We're gonna get drunk.
You don't have to start following her until...
That was the Man in Black...
...and this is WHN
1050 on your dial...
...the home of country music
in New York City.
It's a beautiful Monday
here in the Big Apple...
...so if you city slickers
are feeling blue...
...stay right here.
I'll be right back.
Stavros!
Been a long time!
Long time.
My wife.
How are you doing, Mrs. Niotes?
I just got in I have to leave!
Tomorrow, I go with him
to Washington.
So take good care of my wife.
Father Father!
Come in here and look at this!
It's beautiful...
No. You stay here. I'm flying.
You watch your mother.
Are we going to the Plaza,
Mr. Niotes?
That was Rodney Crowell
And now, real quick...
Here's another newcomer doing very well
And I hear she's a New Yorker...
Christy Miller "Kentucky Nights."
Keep it right here, Sam.
Sam who?
Well, what's your name?
My name's Deborah.
That's why I called you Sam.
Makes sense.
I'll take the tangerine
if you give me a butt.
What are you, a cop?
What, do I look like a cop?
Could be my brother was a cop.
So?
So, your brother was a cop.
Take the drive up here, will you, Sam?
Okay, boss.
Who's your friend with the beard?
You all mafia or something?
You smoke too much.
Doing a lot better.
Used to be three packs.
Your friend with the beard is weird.
I'm gonna finish a pack now.
Too much.
- I know.
- Goddamn things are killin' people.
I gotta stop.
Yeah, I stopped.
Your friend.
He don't smoke don't like music...
You weird, like your friend
with the beard?
Me? Oh, no, Sam.
Me? I'm a charmer.
Get off up here.
I'd like to.
Oh, Sam...
Okay, Sam I'll see you later.
I think you will, boss.
I don't know what I like
better about you...
Your freckles, or...
...your freckles.
Oh, you are a...
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Wait for me, Stefania.
Oh my god! The best girls on Earth!
I knew you were coming today!
I knew it!
- I knew it, too, daddy.
- You did not.
I was the one who said let's wait a little longer.
You didn't say anything.
- But I thought it.
- She thought it.
- She's just lying again.
- No I'm not.
Oh, you're smoking, Johnny.
Jesus how'd that get there?
"How'd" that get there...
That's Sam, fellas.
This is Steffie.
- How's it going, Steffie?
- Pretty good.
- And Gina.
- Howdy, Gina.
- Howdy.
- Gotta drive!
Yeah, go ahead, Sam.
Have a good day!
See ya later, kids. Nice to meet you!
So long, daddy...
That a new one?
What do you think?
- She's very pretty.
- I liked her freckles.
-Oh, did she have freckles?
- Yeah, daddy, she had a lot of freckles.
Daddy noticed the freckles.
Well, thanks a lot, Stefania.
- What about Christy?
- Ah, Christy, Christy, Christy...
"Christy, Christy, Christy..."
You always say that, daddy.
Why do you do that? It's so cute.
I don't know why I do that...
- I haven't seen you for two days!
- It's been two days, daddy!
Shut up, idiot! Stop repeating everything I say!
- I'm not!
- You are!
Well, maybe she has the same thought
and you keep feeding it to her...
I had the same thought.
Very boring.
Daddy, can I have a pineapple?
What are you gonna do
with a pineapple in school?
Who's gonna cut it for ya?
Your mother'll buy you a pineapple.
How is your mother?
- She's okay.
- She's okay.
She threw a jar of roses at Dad...
...I mean at Cliff.
Roses, huh?
I don't know why I called him Dad.
I don't call him that anymore.
- Don't worry about it, kid.
- Mommy likes for us to call him Dad.
No? She doesn't care...
Don't worry about it! This is kid shit.
Call the guy whatever you want!
I mean
You see a lot more of him than me.
I'm the one who left...
Sometimes we wish you were together.
But then we wouldn't have met Christy
or Alicia...
...or Suzanna.
Is she still in Albuquerque, New Mexico?
Yeah, she'll be there for a while.
Christy's so funny. I like her.
I like Alicia.
I like Alicia too.
I didn't say I didn't like her.
You like Christy better.
No I don't. I like them both.
Sometimes I feel sorry for Christy, though.
Why's that, angel?
- I dunno.
- Christy is funny, daddy.
Christy's in love with you, daddy.
Yeah, well I love her too.
But you're not in love with her.
What the hell do you know about it?
Women's intuition!
It's women's intuition, daddy.
Will you cut that out?
C'mon. You'll be late.
- Did you finish that case, daddy?
- That's why you didn't see me start a new one today.
Got a date tonight?
- How about the cab driver?
- Good. I don't like when you're alone.
Stop worrying. You'll get an ulcer.
I love you, daddy.
Oh, Gina, my Gina.
When can we have dinner?
How about tomorrow?
Okay. Bye.
See ya later!
Be nice to your mother!
- Good luck tonight, daddy!
- Good luck tonight, daddy!
There you go again! Stop doing that!
Yo, cab!
Take me down to Wall Street, will ya?
God, she looks awful pretty
in that dress.
Keep your mind on business, Charles.
Dark yet?
I don't think so.
Whatever you say, Chas.
Do you think she's gonna meet her
boyfriend, or the husband, or...
We"re gonna find out.
Come on, let's go.
Mmm, it's so hard to say.
Yeah, I think it happened once, but...
You never know...
Do you love him?
No.
Are you sure?
I'll see you later. Bye!
It's a hotel!
Good, Chas.
Can I help you, sir?
No, thank you. I'm... well, uh...
Yeah, uh, do you have...
...actually, I've eaten, so maybe...
Do you have a speciality? Or...
I could have, uh... a tomato juice...
...on the rocks, I guess.
Very good.
Unless... thanks...
Forget it. Hold that one.
I never wanna talk to her.
Wait. Hold on a second, Amy.
The gaucho just showed up.
Mrs. Martin's boyfriend.
He's got a girl with him
I wish I knew.
No. Nah.
I dunno who the other girl is.
I tell ya I'm gonna find out.
Tell Johnny where we are, will ya?
Gotta go, kiddo.
I'll see ya later.
Yo, Mary you got a butt?
It's Sylvia.
Glad to hear it, Sylvia. You got a butt?
Sure, why not? Something wrong
with your eyes, junior?
Yeah. I'm dazzled by your allure.
Got a match?
Where ya gonna be later?
I'm busy.
With the gaucho?
Maybe. What's it to you? You know him?
No. Nuh-uh. do you?
Aren't you getting a bit nosy?
How I can help it?
Nah, he's just a friend. Rich kid.
He's cute, though.
At least I can see his eyes.
Well, the shades come off at midnight.
Where you gonna be?
Here you are, sir.
What? Oh...
Alright, thank you.
Georgie George, one of the great men
Can I use your phone?
Sure, Johnny. Go ahead.
Working?
Nah! Never.
Yeah, honey will you get me the Algonquin?
Honey, page Arthur Brodsky
in the lobby for me, will ya?
Mr. Arthur Bromsky?
Mr. Arthur Bromsky?
Yeah? Yeah?
Telephone.
Brodsky.
Yeah? Hey, Johnny what's happenin'?
The plaza? What are you doing at the...
Oh yeah? Really?
Not much.
Ms. Martin's just leaving with her boyfriend.
What? Oh, not again.
Christy's not that dumb.
Tipp City, pal.
Do not worry I'll be there.
What was that?
Johnny no big deal.
Go, go, go!
Maybe we'd better stop leaving the
boyfriend out of reports, Chas.
Boyfriend...
Four times this week, already!
- Yeah, but never alone with him.
- Yeah.
- Until today.
- That's what I mean.
I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
Easy. Easy. Good. Right here.
Thanks, pal.
He asks a lotta questions, the husband.
Is it dark yet?
Yeah, I guess.
Just one hit for me. It's gonna be a long night.
Me too.
Look at it this way, Chas...
She's in pre-bop with her boyfriend...
She's in post-bop with her husband.
If she goes into post-bop with her boyfriend,
she'll be...
She'll be in ex-bop with her husband.
And if she's in ex-bop with her husband...
...the case is over we get paid, and...
...well, then it's every man for himself.
Yeah, it's the post-bop with her boyfriend
that worries me.
Yeah, well it's the post-bop
with the boyfriend that worries everybody.
That's what we got the job for.
Chas. Remember?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chas. Remember?
I know, I know, I know.
No, no, no, I'm going. Keep it.
I'm gonna go see Johnny.
Call me at Christy's later
if you can, okay?
I'll see ya.
Hello, beautiful.
Fallen
I have no place left to go
No one to help me
I've been sinkin' like a stone
I've been callin' the blues
my firstborn
And one old lonely room my home
I've been blinded by these city lights
Dreamin' of Kentucky nights
What's a country girl like me to do
I've been livin' with my foolish pride
and driven by the rain
But there's nothing in this city
But the heartbreak and the pain
Now, lover
You mean so much more to me
Than livin' in this lonely town
And tryin' to be free
I've been spendin' all my time up north, alone
But those Appalachian mountains are my home
I've been blinded by these city lights
Dreamin' of Kentucky nights
What's a country girl like me to do
I've been livin' with my foolish pride
and driven by the rain
But there's nothing in this city
But the heartbreak and the pain
Did my best
Can't get no rest
I tried to make these city ways my own
I tried to find
What's on my mind
I guess that country feeling's in my bones
I've been blinded by these city lights
And dreamin' of Kentucky nights
What's a country girl like me to do
I've been livin' with my foolish pride
and driven by the rain
But there's nothing in this city
But the heartbreak and the pain
You're a shit.
Christy Miller, ladies and gentlemen!
Christy Miller!
I, for one, am sick and tired, honey
Sick and tired.
I'm not going to be another
one of your passive ladies...
...trembling at the thought of you...
Willing to put up with any
kind of mouth treatment...
Just for the glorious opportunity...
...of spending a glorious night with you...
once in a week once in a blue moon...
No, sir not by a long shot, honey.
Nuh-uh. No way.
Unfortunately, honey, you're some kisser.
And you're very mean to me.
Very mean.
What you need is a nice guy...
...who watches every set...
...has drinks waiting for you
in the dressing room...
...rubs your feet at night...
...sprays your throat...
...tells you how terrific you are...
...makes eggs in the morning...
You made eggs once...
And I burned them.
I thought they were delicious.
Why did you look at your watch?
- I didn't know what time it was!
- Why? Do you have a date?
Yeah. Redhead. Tall, freckles...
she's a cab driver.
She gonna take you for a ride?
A little ride.
You're such a liar.
I think...
Yo, Christy!
It's Arthur.
Sounds like it.
What is Arthur doing here?
I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
Did you tell Arthur to come down here?
Why would I tell Arthur to come down here?
Something's fishy.
Come in!
Hello, Christy. Pardon the intrusion
I've been looking for Johnny. Have you seen...
Oh, hello, Johnny.
Well, what's up, kid?
Well...
- We've got a little problem.
- Yeah, the Martin case. Leon is...
...furious.
He's foaming at the mouth.
He said...
If you're not down here right away,
you're all fired.
Well, I guess you'd better go!
Yeah, I guess I'd better go.
I'll, uh, see you soon, hmm?
I doubt it!
Oh, sure, sure.
Hey! Where are you going?
Where are your skates?
I gotta get this guy...
Sylvia, I don't know what I'm
gonna be doing later yet.
I gotta find some other guy, first.
I'd love to be with both of you
Particularly, your friend Tulips...
Hey how ya doin', Chassy-boy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, brother...
Oh, god, thanks...
What the hell are you doing here?
I dunno. I dunno what I'm doing.
Did you smoke that whole joint?
I was just standing there...
The whole joint...
...looking at her...
Next thing I know, I'm out here
on these skates like an idiot...
Look, we're gonna get ourselves
in big trouble here...
You know that. I think we should take
things just a little bit light.
I know, but let me kiss her on the mouth...
Oh, the husband's gonna like that one!
Oh, no, no, Arthur!
I've got that figured out!
What?
- What?
- You've got that figured out...
Oh, yeah! Yeah! If the boyfriend...
Shit...
Yo, Chassy what are ya doin'?
Better take yourself a little break
here or something...
I'll be right back.
Yo, Tulips!
You two know each other?
Huh? Who? Her? No.
Well Sylvia Tulips, this is
What's your name, again?
Quite a maneuver...
Not bad, huh?
Just give him your name, kid.
He's tenacious as hell.
They call me Barbara Jo.
Hey, Barbara Jo, what do ya know...
How about a lil' skate
C'mon, let's go!
Are you okay?
I'm very well, thank you. How are you?
Sam, Sam, the ice cream man.
How was your day, kid?
I'm starving.
Yeah? What did you have in mind?
I'm not particular.
Frozen pizza?
Well...
I am a little particular.
Yeah, well, I know a little French joint.
Sounds chic.
Chic, it ain't.
Deborah! How ya doin'?
Fine. Fine.
Creep.
- Friend of yours?
- Briefly.
His heart is broken.
Did you see it all over his sleeve?
You think so?
- I can see why, too.
- You're just a romantic.
Yeah? What's wrong with romance?
Nothing wrong with it.
It's just hard to come by.
Never had much of that, eh, kid?
Not much. I just don't like
sleeping alone, I guess.
Gotta bundle! Why don't you bundle?
- Why would I bundle?
- Yeah! Bundling.
A guy and a girl sleep in the same bed...
But there's a board between them
A wooden board.
He can see her he can hear her breathe
But he can't touch her.
What are they gonna do
if they can't handle it?
They get splinters!
This line here
This is your heart line.
It shows you're very emotional.
Emotions are terrific.
Besides nobody can help how they feel.
Uh-oh. Now here's a problem.
What's that?
You're married, right?
Right!
Well that line's a little short.
It's weak.
But that's not what I'm worried about.
No?
There's a bad romance here.
Oh really?
Very bad you see this line?
It goes nowhere.
Boy that doesn't leave me with much,
does it?
Well, now I dunno...
There's something new right here...
Very promising. You see this line?
It goes on forever.
Maybe that's my skating line.
Your skating line...
No that's your true passion line.
But it's clear of the marriage line...
It doesn't start 'til...
Are you getting a divorce?
You're getting very personal,
aren't you?
I'm sorry I'm very sorry...
It's just that you've got to be clear
of the of these...
I gotta go.
You do?
Well, thanks for the reading.
Do you have a phone?
Do I have a
Yeah Trafalgar 33901.
Bye!
Can you remember...
Excuse me I'm sorry.
I'm not being rude
It's just that my shoes are...
I left my shoes
And my roller skates.
Hey, Willy he's a friend of mine.
Let him slide, alright?
- Okay, Arthur.
- I'll catch ya tomorrow.
Listen I have a knot...
Go ahead.
Go ahead. You're covered.
Oh here.
Hey, Chas!
How ya doin'?
I'm fine! Go ahead.
Wait...
C'mon.
C'mon, Chassy.
Go!
- C'mon. Make this turn up here.
- Christ!
- Have you got your...
- Yeah, I've got it right here. Gimme your foot.
- I'll take care of it.
- What happened? Did you get anything?
Plenty. Three votes says
their marriage won't last.
Oh, sure but what about the boyfriend?
The gaucho?
Two to one, she won't. Tulips thinks yes.
Tulips thinks yes...
Heavy no from Barbara Jo.
Sylvia's on the fence which is where I'd like her.
- Sylvia's on the fence...
- ...which is where I'd like her.
- See ya later, BJ. I'll call you.
- Yeah, do that. I'll be home.
Good I liked his hair.
Huh? What?
Nothing.
- Here's your change. For you.
- Thanks.
Heavy move, bro.
Something must have changed
our lady's mind.
You think?
Chassy, Chassy...
- You think?
- I know.
I gotta go see Barbara Jo
and find out some mo'.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What about what about...
Stop. Smoke this try to get some sleep...
It's gonna be a difficult day tomorrow.
She knows you now.
By the way I met her.
Worth the wait.
Did I snore?
Bad?
Kicked?
Couple. No bruises.
No splinters.
Listen you know where the key is.
Any time you...
- ...need a good night's sleep?
- Yeah, that's right.
See ya later.
Hey, Ritzi how ya doin'?
Hey, Johnny where's Arthur?
I dunno! I was gonna ask you!
Huh, tell him to call me, will you?
I will I will.
Arthur!
Shit.
I'm sorry, Arthur. I wasn't thinking.
Lovesick. The girl's lovesick.
I'll call you at 6:30 tonight, definitely, Rita!
She's gonna knife you one day.
Well, what can you do? It's love.
Yeah, she's gonna have to get in line
After Leon.
You too?
Why? What happened?
I called in from the gym
It's Dolores's day at the gym.
Ah, it's "Dolores" now.
He was icy.
Worse, he was polite.
I gotta get back to the gym...
What, did you spy on her or something
this morning?
No, no, but it's so much rougher now.
I mean...
Yeah, Barbara Jo knows me...
Not as well as I'd hoped by now,
but, nevertheless...
What did you guys do, blow your cover?
No, no, but we spoke.
You spoke.
For a while.
A little while.
Long enough.
A little longer.
I figured.
But they didn't connect us.
Yet.
Well you're gonna need a beard.
A front!
Odyssey Detective Agency
We never sleep...
Could you hold, please?
Amy, Amy, Amy.
Hi, Amy, is Leon busy?
Charlie, where the hell are the reports
on the Martin case?
Oh, well...
We got 'em, Amy. Any calls?
Yeah.
- Mandy...
- Nuh-uh.
- Sherry...
- Nuh-uh.
- Terry...
- Terry, Sherry's sister, Terry?
The same.
Hmm. Interesting.
- Any calls for me, Amy?
- Just your father, Charles.
Ah, father again.
Good, why don't you call him back
and ruin your day?
Oh, God.
Charles.
Hello, Mr. Leondopolous how are you?
Where the hell are the reports
on the Martin case?
Yes, well it's been a little
hectic lately, Leon.
We got 'em, Leon
They just ain't typed yet.
Then we don't got 'em, Arthur.
The typing isn't some middle-class
bureaucratic curlicue.
And I would really prefer not to
hear exasperation...
...in anyone's tone this morning.
Because I'm on the narrow edge
of a precipice...
And even the smallest additional irritation
could cause me to slip over into a gaping abyss...
Out of which I gravely doubt
it would be possible for me to climb...
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
Holy mother...
Shit, that burns.
Charlie?
- I know...
- Get the ice.
- Got it
- Butter...
Ice, ice butter just fries...
Once a week, it's the same story, Leon.
Thank you. Thank you.
It's alright.
In any event in any event...
When Mr. Martin called
this morning, for information on his wife...
Thank you, Ms. Lester...
For the first time in three weeks...
Thank you, Ms. Lester...
I would have been content with scribbles
On toilet paper!
Anything would have been
better than nothing.
Charles the file was empty.
It's all right here
I'll have 'em for you tonight, Leon.
- He'll have 'em for you tonight, Leon.
- Tonight's too late. I need them now.
He needs 'em now...
- But I gotta back to Dolores...
- I could take care of all of this with Amy.
You have another call on 4,
Mr. Leondopolous.
Go ahead, Chas.
We can handle the whole thing,
Mr. Leondopolous.
They can handle the whole thing, Leon.
Well, somebody handle something.
John!
Yes, Leon?
Can I see you for a minute?
Sure. Sure definitely.
Let's talk.
You have two calls, Mr. Leondopolous.
I'm well aware of that, Ms. Lester.
One of them is Mrs. Leondopolous...
Hello yes?
I wanna hear every word the doctor said...
Thanks, Amy.
You're welcome.
I love your flippers you know that?
I know that.
Odyssey Detective Agency
We rarely sleep.
Oh, hello there, Christy.
What a pleasant surprise!
Good morning, Amy
You're looking very well this morning...
- Why, thank you, Christy.
- Very well.
Thank you, Christy.
Where's Mr. Russo's desk, Amy?
Do you know?
Right over there, Christy
Not too far from Mr. Russo himself.
Thank you, Amy.
I can see you're all working very hard today.
Morning, Christy how are ya?
Good morning, Judas.
I have a few things here that
belong to Mr. Russo...
And I'm sure he'll be needing them
a lot more than I will.
Yes, Harold be quiet now.
Whose stuff is this, honey?
I think you've got the wrong guy.
Very funny.
Excuse me.
And Charles
How are you doing this morning?
I'm a little frazzled...
Odyssey Travel can I help you?
Just a moment, please.
Arthur, it's for you on the travel line
Barbara Jo.
Barbara Jo?
Hello, Jo what do ya know?
You're looking very sexy today, Charles.
I am? Well, I'm running late that's all...
You mean you always look sexy
when you're running late?
I guess I'll have to keep you tardy...
Yes, Harold.
Say hello to Harold, Charles.
- Hello, Harold.
- Okay, Jo. Gotta go.
What's up?
Little rendezvous at the gym.
Uh, Christy, I have to go.
- Can you gimme a lift, Charlie?
- I really can't.
- Well, thanks a bunch, Charlie...
- I'm sorry.
- Well, where are you going?
- Uptown.
- Well, that's where I'm going.
- Way uptown...
You shave today, Charlie?
What? Yes.
Funny from here, looks like
you got a beard...
A beard?
Nope! Smooth as silk.
Oh
Christy, where did you say you were going?
Uptown.
No kidding
What a coincidence so am I!
Come on I'll give you a lift.
Why, thank you, Charles.
It's been a rough day
My toilet exploded this morning.
- Is that so? - Yes, I flushed it quite innocently
You would've thought a bomb went off!
I'm just lucky I wasn't sitting on it!
Yes. Thanks for calling.
Listen we'll have to get back to you.
I saw all that.
What did you see?
Nothing.
- Type.
- Shoot.
Three Mondays ago when was that?
Oh, good.
Copious notes.
Alright, dearest. Alright.
Yes.
God.
There's a virus going around.
Excuse me my back...
People are dropping like flies.
Well, I haven't seen anybody dropping, Leon.
I see a couple of joggers...
They'll be dropping soon.
Last night, Leon,
I went to bed with a twenty-three-year-old.
Redhead.
I put my arms around her
Kissed her and went to sleep.
Is there something wrong with her?
Nah there was nothing wrong with her.
Well, in that case, it must be spring.
Oh, is that it?
Well, I've been noticing a certain
distant, dreamy look in your eyes as of late...
And I get the impression
that your personal life is...
Yeah, well...
Sometimes we could all use a nap.
- What's with that husband?
- Stavros?
Yeah, Stavros that husband.
Odd.
That marriage is odd.
When's he leaving?
- Tonight. For five days.
- Does he fool around?
I dunno, really.
But then he was always something
of a ladies' man...
Actually I haven't seen him
for fifteen years.
This is his second wife;
I knew the first one.
The guy believes in marriage...
Don't we all?
Yeah, that's right.
Well I'm gonna take the kid with me.
You gotta go easier on your back, Leon.
What's that supposed to mean?
It's supposed to mean
you gotta go easier on your back.
You ready, son?
Yeah good enough, Pop.
Is there anything I can read?
There will be, Mr. Leondopolous.
Odyssey we never sleep.
Could you hold, please?
Take care of his back, Amy.
The man is delicate he's a delicate man.
Oh, I know.
Thank you, Ames...
Bye, boys.
Yes?
Just a moment, Mrs. Leondopolous I have another call.
It's your wife again.
I left.
Where'd you go?
Anywhere!
Yes Mrs. Leondopolous I'm sorry.
He left for an early lunch.
Can I give him a message?
I will. Have a good day.
- She's feeling much worse.
I- 'm sorry to hear it.
So am I.
Amy, I think John is suspicious.
You do, huh?
He keeps making jokes about my back.
Well, he's probably right
We're overdoing it.
You think so?
Why don't you stop right here, driver?
That'd be fine.
- Okay, Mac.
- Here, keep it, thanks a lot.
Charles, you certainly are the most
impulsive man I've ever met!
- Repulsive, did you say? - "Im"! "Impulsive",
Charles! I don't think you're repulsive at all!
No, I just thought you might like
some orange juice or a hot dog...
- I think you're very handsome! - Why, thank you,
Christy, I think you look pretty good yourself...
Would you like some orange juice
or a hot dog?
Yes actually, I'd like a very large
orange juice yes...
A very large orange juice, please?
Are you Greek?
Thanks a lot, honey.
Besides, Charles I thought you were late.
Uh, no, Christy
My watch is fast...
Would you like to take a walk?
Why don't we cross the street?
Honestly, Charles,
you are strange sometimes.
Oh, I'm sorry, Christy.
Would you like to sit down?
What'd you have in mind, Charles
The curb?
You sure you don't wanna come up
for a little lunch, Charles?
I can't cook a thing,
but I know where everything is...
Do you like eggs, honey?
'Cause I've got eggs and there's bread, I think...
Is there bread, Harold? Do you remember
Yes...
Harold thinks there's bread, too, Charles.
Um I'm not really very hungry, Christy.
- Oh, you're not?
- No...
- Would you like some new shoes?
- New shoes?
Would you like some new shoes?
Those are pretty old, aren't they?
Well, thanks a lot, Charles! These happen to be
an original '30s design from the '30s!
That's what I mean
Wouldn't you like some new ones?
Charles...
Here you take Harold.
So firm about it...
Wow, look at those beautiful shoes, Harold
Aren't those nice shoes?
Can I help you?
We'd like to see some of the new shoes.
Yes, but we don't sell
used ones here, sir.
Oh, that's good.
This way.
Oh excuse me I'm terribly...
Oh. Sorry...
Do you like these, Charles?
Huh? Oh, sure terrific.
Do you?
Okay, I'll try 'em on I think I'll check a dress out too.
Keep an eye on Harold,
will you, Charles?
Harold easy.
I like this one.
What do you think of these, Charles?
Jesus, Christy, what are those?
Where'd you get those? Those are very unattractive...
Oh, I hate 'em, honey.
I thought you liked 'em.
No, no
I was talking about these boots...
Here why don't you try these on?
Anything you say, Charles.
I just gotta get out of this dress
It does absolutely nothing for me...
Thanks a bunch, Charles.
He just...
Harold I can't even let
the guy keep a dog!
I cannot believe this I'm really sorry
Harold...
Harold just calm down...
Hi I'm really sorry.
Sorry I'm Christy Miller.
Oh, hello you're the singer!
'Fraid so The record's climbing
the charts as we speak...
I'm Dolores Martin. Pleased to meet you.
Oh, nice to meet you...
Mrs. Martin, or Ms. Martin?
Mrs.
Oh, Mrs...
And who is this tall drink of water?
Jos, this is Christy Miller
The country singer!
Hello nice to meet you.
Charles! Come here!
Who, me?
Of course, Charles is like
the absent-minded professor, y'know.
- What? Who?
- Charles.
This is Charles.
Charles, this is Dolores.
Hello, Charles.
Nice to... meet you, Dolores.
And this is Jos, Charles.
Charles...
Hello who are you?
I'm Charles, Jos. How are you?
I am Jos.
Oh, good.
Nah the husband.
The husband?
And the kid.
You think?
Ah, yeah there she goes.
Hey no skating around here.
Yeah, sure alright.
You did say only a week, Father right?
Maybe more, maybe less...
Maybe it depends on your mother.
Father...
Okay take care of your mother.
Bye, Angie.
Be good both of you!
And the flip-side of the record
is doing so well...
I think it's gonna be a hit, too.
I'm really excited about it.
Don't you think so, Charles?
I certainly do I certainly do...
What?!
My goodness, Charles.
You really are distracted...
I was just telling Dolly
about the record...
How excited I am. It's fantastic
It's just been really, really rough rehearsing...
But they're great.
Don't you agree, Charles?
Charles, what are you looking at?
Uh, Christy, what time did you say
Friday night?
Eight o'clock!
Eight o'clock fine.
Are you girls coming Friday night to Greene Street?
You're acting awfully peculiar, Charles.
Anyway, that's Friday
What time do you wanna meet for the night, Charles?
- Oh, anytime. Anytime at all is fine.
- Oh, the time! We're late for class! We'd better go.
Oh, gosh. Okay.
Bye, you guys!
- Bye, Dolly. Nice to meet you!
- Bye, Jos...
Christy Christy here you go.
I'll see you tonight, then okay?
Wait a minute, Charles
Why don't you come up to my place for a drink?
- I really can't, Christy. I gotta get back to the office...
- Charles, you are tense and nervous and apprehensive...
We are going to go
to my apartment right now...
And I don't wanna hear another word
about it!
Well, I do feel kinda tense...
Taxi!
I don't believe you, Charles!
Really. I don't.
The dog is injured Charles...
I'll cover the side.
Take off your skates.
What?
Take off the skates.
We should go in, you think?
We're gonna pick her up.
Oh my god.
Your father's good at this...
I'm not!
Well, it's very difficult.
- Wanna try it?
- What did you have in mind, Laura?
Cute.
Laura, Laura the face
in the misty light...
Give my son a rifle
Give him a rifle.
Gee thanks, Pop.
He's not really your son.
Sure he is!
He curls his hair to embarrass me.
He's an aging hippie, my son.
Finally.
Mike, I thought that was me.
I think it was you.
Thanks, pal.
What is that, bro?
You got a Polish accent, there? What is that?
Me? Oh, no English.
- No shit? Well, excuse me.
- C'mon, wise guy. Let's see a little action.
Laura, you're reading my mind.
There.
Congratulations.
Easy. Take your time, Arthur.
Easy!
Yeah, Arthur take it easy.
It's good! It's scattershot!
I can't miss...
Well, you hit everything
but what you wanted...
Story of my life, sweetheart...
Perhaps he should aim.
What's that, Mitchell?
Michael.
Well, hiya Mike. I'm Arthur.
That's my father that's John.
- Come on, darling. It's late.
- Oh, just a second.
See you have to aim carefully
at the lower part of the light.
And then you have to squeeze slowly.
I can't believe it, Michael!
You're a prince.
Prince Mike thanks a lot
for the tip.
Oh, that's okay.
- Buh-bye, nice meeting you...
- Listen, Mike, one other thing...
You ever play computerized checkers?
No I don't think so...
Laura you mind showing me and
my son here some of those moves?
I've got a hunch you know the moves.
Pretty hot stuff what do ya think?
Puzzles, puzzles.
Please
My husband has me followed.
Yeah, I know.
I'm following you.
I don't know what to say.
I don't, either.
Why don't we have lunch
and talk about it?
Mmm, no, I'm sorry
That's not possible.
Oh, sure it's possible.
It may be difficult,
but it definitely is possible.
Now you bring your son
I'll bring mine.
That's not your son,
Mr. Russo.
Michael can we go?
- Did he tell you?
- Shh. Easy.
Tell me what, darling?
-They're working on something secret.
- Top secret.
Yes! And we mustn't tell anyone
we've met them.
They're undercover!
That's why the hair.
I see.
They need our help.
You two certainly think of everything.
Come on.
Hey, Laura I'll see you after work.
Yeah? Fat chance.
Better than none.
For the penguin.
I'll see you later.
She's in love with me.
I noticed.
Hey, Mike got a girlfriend?
-Oh, two, three. Nothing serious.
- Oh, you've got a stable already...
I wouldn't call it a stable...
I'm gonna follow you
until you change your mind.
Well, I guess that's your job.
See ya.
Bye. I'll see ya.
Pop?
What?
What do we do?
I dunno.
I think you'd better get
your sisters.
- My sisters?
- Tell 'em they're working.
Yeah, yeah.
Here we are home at last.
And don't tear around too much, Harold.
Be a good boy.
Yes, Charles, just put it right there
Go ahead, Charles!
Relax, Charles, Relax.
Isn't he sweet?
Do you hate dogs, honey?
- Because I can lock him up.
- No, no! Not at all.
I'm making an album, Charles.
Do you wanna hear it?
Sure. Nice view...
Why, thank you, Charles.
Why don't you sit down? Make yourself comfortable.
Can I get you a drink?
Yes, Harold. Now calm down, honey.
You got a vodka?
Why, we certainly do, Charles.
There a match around somewhere, Christy?
On the way, honey
But I'd imagine that cigarette's probably a year old.
Oh, that's okay.
How are you doing out there, Charles?
Is Harold bothering you?
No, no no, it's fine.
Thank you.
Don't you just love that song?
Oh, it's very nice.
Here you are, Charles
Although I don't approve...
Do you wanna lie down or anything,
Charles?
No no
I really don't feel too well, Christy.
Don't you, Charles?
What is it?
I think I've got a headache.
Well, that's alright, Charles...
-We don't have to do anything.
- Why don't we just talk?
Of course!
Why don't I give you a massage, Charles?
Why don't I give you a Touch Assist?
- A what?
- A Touch Assist.
- A Touch Assist...
- It'll relieve all your pressure, Charles...
You'll feel like a cloud in pants.
A cloud in pants?
Come on!
- What?
- Well, you do have to lie down, Charles.
Come on. It won't hurt.
Nice the way the music does that there,
don't you think?
- Very nice.
- Haven't done that room yet.
Look, Charles I've got a terrace!
Wanna step out on the terrace?
That's not a terrace, Christy!
That's a ledge!
No, really, Charles! Come on!
No Christy don't.
My goodness, Charles.
You really are nervous today.
Now take off your tie and jacket,
sweetheart. And your shirt.
I'll be right back.
Wanna play on the terrace, Harold?
Now, Charles I can't very well
give you a Touch Assist if you're standing in the corner.
Christy, I don't think I'm...
- Really in the mood for...
- Of course not, Charles.
I'm going to give you
a Touch Assist...
And then you can go get ready
for tonight.
Now c'mon. Lie down over here...
Oh, isn't he cute? He wants to play.
Now, calm down, Harold.
Charles is very tense...
He's had a hard day.
Come on, Charles. Lie down.
Don't you wanna take off some
of those clothes, Charles?
You'll feel a lot more comfortable.
No, no it's alright.
I'm quite comfortable.
Now, that's enough, Harold.
You leave Charles alone.
We're going to give Charles
a Touch Assist.
Here we go now, Charles.
Just relax, honey.
Isn't that song nice?
Very nice.
Feel my finger?
Yes, of course.
Good just concentrate
on feeling it.
Feel my finger?
Say it, Charles.
Yes.
Close your eyes, darling,
and feel my finger.
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Feel my finger?
Christy, I really don't think I can
I feel there's a lot of pressure here.
Feel my finger?
Yes, I feel it, but...
Just hold me close Charles.
We don't have to do anything.
Christy...
Put your arms around me, Charles.
Nuh-uh none of that, now...
Feel my finger?
Christy.
- Feel my finger?
- Yes, but...
Feel my finger?
Yes.
Charles.
Yes?
Feel my finger?
Christy, I...
Do you feel my finger?
This is a little crazy, isn't it?
Yes. Feel my finger?
Yes. God.
What is it, Charles?
Feel my finger?
Oh, Charles...
'Scuse me, honey.
Might be my agent.
Oh, sure. I feel much better now.
Hello? Who?
Jos?
Oh, hello, Jos. How are you?
It's Jos.
- Something happen?
- What?
Wait a minute, Jos
Calm down, Charles...
He's just checking on the time
for tonight he's sending a car.
Eight is just fine, honey.
Can't wait.
I said, I can't wait!
Wait! What?
Nevermind, Jos.
We'll see you tonight.
That boy is very attractive,
but I don't think he understands the language.
Yeah, well
Everybody has that problem sometimes, Christy...
Don't you think?
I certainly do.
Kiss me again, will you, Charles?
I really like you, Christy.
You know that?
Yeah, I know and why don't we
just keep it that way, right?
Don't you think?
Yeah, I guess.
But why don't you kiss me anyway?
It's such a nice afternoon.
Okay, right here.
Alright let's go. Come on
We'll get new skates here we go...
Here we go, my gorgeous girls.
'Scuse me are these seats taken?
Oh, by the way have you seen Arthur?
Yeah Where is Arthur?
Where is Arthur?!
I thought it was you!
- You did not.
- You did not.
- He didn't tie his shoelaces!
- Oh my god...
Arthur! Where did you pick these two up?
- We're his sisters.
- We're his sisters.
They're my sisters!
They're his sisters.
I really fell right into that one,
didn't I?
I'm not saying!
I don't think she's saying...
Arthur always watches us.
Arthur's used to kids.
Are you saying you don't trust me
to take care of these three midgets?
No I'm saying I don't know
who's going to take care of me.
- John will.
- That's what I'm afraid of.
You're not making sense, Mother.
The evening doesn't make any sense.
- John is very good with women.
- He has a lot of girlfriends.
Will you shut up?
- C'mon, we'll drop you back off at the hotel.
- No.
That's very good, Mr. Russo.
Mother, I promise we'll be careful.
- You're going skating.
- Yeah, we'll wait for you there.
We'll wait for you there.
Thank you, Mother.
- I didn't say yes...
- You didn't say no.
- The kid's got a point.
- Come on. Let's get a taxi.
Arthur, now, you take care of them.
Don't worry!
Taxi! Taxi!
As for you
You forgot this guy before.
Oh yeah? Well, it's not mine
It's hers.
Here you go. I'll see ya later, Pop.
I'll see you too.
Take care, kid.
Michael, take care.
- Don't worry.
- Don't worry.
- Bye, Johnny!
- Bye, Johnny!
- You are unbelievable.
- Now, now, Stefania.
Why you have to repeat everything
from everybody? Seriously!
I never could deal with men.
I know what you mean.
I bet you do!
No, no, no with women.
Me with women.
Are you saying you don't know
how to deal with women?
You? That's funny.
You're a professional, Mr. Russo.
Women are your life.
Why don't you call me Johnny,
or Jack, or Jake, or Harry? Whatever you want?
Am I right or wrong, Mr. Russo?
About what?
About women being your life.
Well, uh could be so.
That doesn't prove anything.
It only really matters when you fall.
And when you fall,
nobody's a pro.
Alright what happens if a girl
falls for a pro...
And the pro doesn't fall back?
The girl's got herself a problem.
Anybody we know, we're talking about?
Only slightly.
Are you in love right now, Mr. Russo?
I mean personally speaking?
Personally speaking no.
What about you?
That's a silly question. I'm married.
That's why I asked.
Mr. Russo promise we'll never get married.
I promise.
Promise we'll never fell in love.
I promise.
Mr. Russo, I'm beginning to like you.
Honey, if you like country,
you're gonna love this place.
What? What?
It's a top country place, Jos...
Oh, I love this western music,
you know?
- You really can sing this?
- She has a hit record, Jos...
Have you heard it, Charles?
He's heard it, honey.
What?
Huh? What?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Christy Miller is in the audience with us tonight...
She thinks it's her night off,
but we're not gonna have that...
C'mon up here, Christy!
Sing with us!
C'mon! Everybody sing!
Ladies and gentlemen Christy Miller!
Now, this is funny.
What's funny?
I was gonna invite you around for a drink.
I live up here.
Ah, what a coincidence!
But I see my friend's using the place
A cab driver I know.
That's the hack.
Using or, uh...
No, no, just hanging out.
Oh good I'll have a chaperone.
Where's that drink?
Over here.
Your friend's a music lover.
Very fond of music.
It's me, Sam.
Oh I was just writing you a note.
That's Angela, Sam.
Hello I'm Deborah.
I was just leaving.
Hello, Deborah.
What are you drinking?
I gotta work. I drive a taxi.
Yes, he told me
I'll have a scotch.
- Do you enjoy it?
- How?
- Oh, it's okay.
- Neat, thanks.
I drive for my dad.
He had a bit of y'know.
Oh, I'm sorry how is he?
Oh he's great
He'll be great.
Uh so long.
I left the keys on the table.
Thanks for the place!
Sure, Sam. Anytime.
Nice meeting you.
Why do you call her Sam?
Because she doesn't
look like a Deborah.
She doesn't look like a Sam.
She looks more like a Sam
than a Deborah.
Why don't you call me Steve?
Okay, Steve...
But you you look like an Angela.
How is that, Angela?
It means "angel," doesn't it?
Now you know why my husband has me followed...
I am a brazen woman
who cannot be trusted.
Mmm-hmm. I had another idea.
Me you reminded me of someone
I knew in school.
My eighth-grade nun.
I was in love with her.
I'm sure she was
in love with me, too.
I waited for her to
make the first move.
Did she?
Just now.
I think it's so sexy,
having that car follow us all the way.
And how about Charles?
Is he a little smitten,
or am I nuts?
It seemed a little obvious he wanted
to take your friend home alone.
Huh? Oh alone, yeah.
You're awfully cute
Are you rich or something, honey?
Oh, uh a little.
I think I'm falling in love.
Love? Do you want love?
That's right, bright eyes.
How old are you?
Me? I'm nineteen.
You're not.
I'll be twenty soon.
Mmm, well there's no hurry, honey.
I come for a drink, yes?
You come for a drink, no.
I have to rehearse very early
in the morning.
I have to rehearse very early.
Call me, now!
Right here's fine.
Well...
Well.
I gotta go, my husband...
Yeah I gotta get up early anyway.
-Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Go ahead easy.
Pumpkin, what's over there?
What are you smelling over there?
What's the matter, Pumpkin?
What is it, Pumpkin? Huh?
What is it?
Why, Charles
What are you doing down there?
I I couldn't leave.
What do you do, Charles?
You never told me.
Uh travel agent.
Y'know
Tours planes trains...
Buses y'know.
How weird.
Is it? Why?
You don't look like a travel agent.
I don't?
No you don't.
Wh what do I look like?
I don't know exactly
But not a travel agent.
Maybe...
Yeah?
More like...
Someone who travels himself.
Take us to Foley Square.
What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know I'm on duty?
It's an emergency
Would you follow that cab?
- Just drive. I'm sorry.
- What cab?
Right up there I'll show you
Just drive, drive, drive.
I'm sorry we're very late.
It's okay, Mac
You need any help?
- What?
- No, thank you very much!
Hey, buddy...
Hello, judge I'm sorry I'm late...
Hiya, kids wait 'til I tell you
who I just saw here...
Mrs. Niotes...
Sorry, Mrs. Niotes,
this just came for you.
Thank you.
It's okay it's from your husband.
Have a nice day.
Mother?
C'mon, let's go!
What's the matter?
Nothing, darling.
It's from your father.
He's coming home tonight.
Really? Good.
Not so good
We have to leave tomorrow.
Leave? I thought it was two weeks
It's only been one!
Well, something must have come up.
What'll I tell Georgina?
She'll be so disappointed.
What about you, kiddo?
I'm disappointed, too.
Good then we're all disappointed.
Have a nice day, darling.
Bye-bye see you tonight.
Don't think about tomorrow.
Where to, lady?
Oh no, that's all, thank you.
What're you staring at, bozo?
A vision in Stuyvesant town.
They oughta keep you here
Dress up the place.
Aren't we chipper?
You seen Arthur?
If I see him,
I'm gonna cut his thing off.
Okay, I'll tell him.
Five minutes, angel.
I'll bet!
Five minutes!
Angela! Hey, Angela!
It doesn't make any sense, Johnny
Not after the last four days.
It just doesn't!
Where the hell's Amy?
Where's Leon?
In here.
Leon?
In here, for God's sake.
Leon.
Charles, I was trying to reach you.
Mrs. Martin appears to have left
Mr. Martin...
She left him a note, anyway.
Where'd she go?
It was my fervent hope
that you would have that answer, Charles.
After all, Mr. Martin is paying us
for precisely that answer...
What do you mean,
where did she go?
Didn't you follow her this morning?
What is it your day off?
I lost her, Leon.
Oh, that's wonderful news.
Up around city hall.
They just disappeared...
I looked and looked.
Who's "they?"
She and Jos. They had luggage.
Who's Jos? Boyfriend?
Well...
I guess you could say that.
I guess I could say that?
Charles, you're not making any sense.
I want you to find out
where that woman is...
And I want you to find out quickly...
Because if we don't find out...
It's going to be very difficult
for Mr. Martin to justify paying us.
Oh, it's been a wonderful morning so far.
The Niotes case is ending.
I didn't tell you that.
No, you didn't.
Go ahead, gentlemen
Find that Martin girl. What are you waiting for?
Arthur, call a few places for a new secretary.
Amy has left us.
What's with Niotes?
I thought it was two weeks.
Has to get back to London
Some business thing I don't know.
He'll be in around midnight.
They're all leaving tomorrow.
John. I'm mortified.
Oh, she'll be back, Leon.
- You think so?
- Sure!
I guess you must have guessed
About...
Since the beginning.
- When?
- Three years ago. "When".
You've known about this for three years
and never told me?
- Yeah, that's right.
- My god.
Everybody's known.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Well who does?
- Good morning, everybody!
- Hold on.
- Christy, what are you doing here?
- I hope you're all coming to the new show tonight...
And how about these flyers?
Aren't they nice?
The record's doing so well
they're starting to spend some money.
People Magazine called for an interview!
I'll give y'all a plug.
Great in the sack, honey...
But lousy detectives.
Couldn't follow an elephant
up Fifth.
Girls slip through their fingers
like sand.
Christy, what are you talking about?
Do you know where they are?
Why, Charles what do you mean?
What do you mean,
what do I mean?
What do you mean,
"couldn't follow an elephant up Fifth"?
My goodness, Charles you're very agitated this morning.
What did you have a bad day in court?
There. Did you hear that?
She knows where they are.
- Where are they, Christy? Please? - You didn't shave
today, Charles. What, are you growing a beard?
Johnny, could you help us out
over here?
What's everybody talking about?
What's she got to do with all this?
Are you kidding? Christy Miller
has the scoop on everybody in town.
- Probably knows where Amy is.
- I do.
- You see? - What?
- She's in the ladies' room.
Okay.
Barbara Jo's playing dumb,
just like Sylvia, and just like Tulips.
- Just like Christy.
- Nobody knows zip, mmm-hmm?
What are you girls in
cahoots or something?
Girl, what do you think?
C'mon, honey give him the terms.
Wait a minute.
What's she doing in the ladies' room?
Some detectives.
Well, look who's here
Hello, Amy!
Hello, Christy.
Leon, say hello to Amy.
Hello, Amy.
Hello, Leon.
Okay, folks I gotta go.
See ya later.
I'll walk ya down, John.
Christy, you can't just
leave like this...
Could you hold a moment?
He missed you.
Thank you.
It's Mrs. Leondopolous.
Could you tell her I'm not here?
You tell her.
Hello? I'm not here. I'm terribly late
I'll call you later.
There.
Big deal.
Amy, I love you.
Well, why don't you kiss me, then?
Kiss you?
I wouldn't have it didn't even occur to me
that kissing would be appropriate...
Will you shut up?
Christy, this isn't very funny.
Arthur, tell her it isn't funny.
It isn't funny.
You'll just have to wait
'til tonight, honey...
It's only nine hours
I mean, honestly, Charles!
I wonder who they
they're talking about.
I'll let you know.
Are you coming tonight, Johnny?
I'm gonna try, kid.
I know what that means.
Now, look here, Christy this is my job, okay?
It has nothing to do with my personal interests.
Well, Charles
Pardon me if I laugh.
Bye, now!
- Christy!
- Better.
- What?
- We'll follow her.
Eh? Clever?
Right, right!
Look what I found.
How ya doin', Sam?
Can't complain, boss.
Johnny.
- Another cab driver?
- Singer.
Sorry to bother you, honey.
Hello, girls.
Here they told me I had to hand these out
They need the business. What can I do?
I've got one.
You're the singer
This is your show, isn't it?
Hi, I'm Angela.
Hi, Angela, I'm Christy.
Are you Christy Miller?
No shit?
There's some dispute about that, honey,
but thanks.
I love that record you did.
Thanks, honey.
Is Mr. Russo allowed
into your club, Christy?
Maybe you could take me tonight.
Is he allowed.
I gotta drive.
- Can you gimme a lift, honey?
- C'mon.
So long, boss.
Take care.
You too, Sam.
Thanks for the cigarette.
Thanks for the light.
See you folks tonight, but if you can't,
come any time!
Bye, Johnny.
Watch out for him, Angela
He's slippery as the dickens!
Are you slippery as the dickens,
Mr. Russo?
I dunno, but I'm dizzy.
Well, I must say you have a
very good taste in women...
Which is more than can be said
about my taste in men.
Uh-huh
Where does that leave me?
Dangling miserably, I hope.
Come on show me all the sights.
Tell me your funny stories.
And take me to your loft again
and ravish me.
You talk too much, you know that?
I know that.
I can't believe you drive a taxi...
You oughta be an actress or a
model or something! You're gorgeous!
Thanks.
I used to do a little modeling
It's a pain in the ass, y'know?
Well, it's all a pain in the ass, honey
Unless you're in love, of course.
And that's a pain in the ass.
The biggest.
Right where can you get me
some of that?
Well, I'd like a lot, darling.
Well, I'd love a ton, boy,
lemme tell you...
Yep here they come.
- What'd I tell ya?
- Hang on.
You guys, don't go anywhere.
Stay right here. Stay right here!
Where the hell do you think
you're going?
Hello, Mr. Russo.
What's funny now?
I've never had a girl at this particular time
call me "Mr." before.
I haven't been called a girl
in some time.
Haven't felt like one, either.
Well, you feel like one to me.
Could you tell how long it's been
since...
Since you felt like a girl?
You get used to anything.
Can you?
Do you know why
he has me followed?
I could guess.
Could you?
Some people figure whatever they're doing,
somebody else must be doing it too.
Where'd you go just then?
Everywhere.
Got a butt?
And that's it, right?
That figures.
What do you think I am a rat?
Let's make a swap.
A piece of news on Johnny
A piece of news for Chas.
Look at the poor sap.
He's already smoked two packs today.
What do you wanna do kill him?
Personally, I'm also late
for a little appointment.
Picking up Angela's kid...
Oh well, let's forget about the deal
I guess I've got no news to swap...
So, what are you doing later?
Sleeping.
Want some company?
You're welcome to the floor.
I'll take it.
You've got three chicks over there
already, Curly.
What're you gonna do about them?
You got a big floor?
It's nice to meet you, Sam.
You too, doll.
Thank you!
Let's go one-two-three-four!
Now, you don't have to worry about me, babe
Hook 'em up and head out to the places where you've been
Go ahead and fly like an eagle in the sky
When you land you'll find I'm still your friend
But I don't think I could take you back again
Where you goin'?
Where you goin'?
You can get there without me
So goodbye
Go on, goodbye
And remember
And remember
Though I'm setting you free
I won't cry
I won't cry
Ain't no need to bother about me, babe
Someone will come along
And he will take me by the hand
Together we will walk
Where the grass is green and new
And I'll even think about you now and then...
Dolores, will you marry me?
Okay, I will.
You will?
Well, yes after my divorce.
Well okay.
I can wait.
I've seen you toss and turn in your sleep, babe
Now your dream bag's packed
You've got your ticket in your hand
When you love someone
You want what's best for them
That's how it is
That's how it's always been
But I don't think I could take you back again
No, I don't think I could take you back again
Hey, everybody! This is my fianc!
Ain't he cute?!
I'll see ya later.
I'm watching you, Curly.
I know you are, Sam.
- Aren't you a little late?
- Yeah, why don't you gimme a lift?
I was thinking of that.
That's where I turn into a pumpkin.
I'm sorry we didn't see Christy's show.
Maybe tomorrow we can go.
Yeah, tomorrow sure.
Goodbye, Arthur.
Thank you.
For what?
So long, Mike. See you soon.
Maybe next year.
Right.
Oh Michael told you we were...
Yeah, but I knew.
I guess everybody knows.
What do you mean you knew?
I mean, I knew all this
was too good to last.
I'll see ya, Angela.
I gotta go meet with John.
Michael, you take care of your mother.
How is John? Where is he?
Still undercover.
So long.
You crying, Mother?
No, darling. The wind blew something.
How are the sisters?
Their mother and father
were sort of nice tonight.
I think Georgina's in love with me.
How about you?
Oh, I dunno. I love her,
of course, but...
I don't know if
I'm in love with her.
We're going to write
to each other.
That's good.
We'll see how it goes.
No commitments, eh?
It's better that way,
don't you think, Mother?
Much better, darling.
You're listening to Benny Goodman.
It's a beautiful Saturday morning, and we'll be right back.
He's here.
Angela, you remember Leonida?
Yes, of course.
How are you?
Fine, thank you.
So good to see you again.
And you.
This is Leonida's partner, Angela
Mr. Russo.
How do you do, Mr. Russo?
How do you do, Mrs. Niotes?
I must speak with Leonida
for one minute.
Will you please excuse us?
I hope the case turns out, John.
Thanks, Mike.
You make a good double agent.
Well, I'm going to check out the action.
I hoped so much you'd come.
I also wished you wouldn't.
Yeah, so did I.
We did have a promise on goodbyes,
Mr. Russo.
Yeah, that's right
We did have.
That's okay.
We're even now.
I broke the break one.
I broke that one, too.
You break all your promises,
Mr. Russo.
They're going to leave
without us.
Goodbye, Mr. Russo.
I hope to see you again.
So do I.
- Goodbye, Angela. Have a good flight.
- Goodbye, Leon. thank you.
Goodbye, Mr. Russo.
John.
John.
- Michael?
- Yes?
- Come fast, we have to go.
- Coming!
Goodbye, Michael.
Bye-bye.
I won't need you 'til tomorrow, John,
if you feel like...
...taking a little walk? Yeah.
See ya later, buddy.
Hi, boss.
Goin' my way?
What'd you have in mind?
Go over to Brooklyn,
raise some hell?
Sounds good.
What the hell are you doing
down here, anyway?
The lady.
Thought you might need
some lookin' after.
Got some splinters, eh, Johnny?
Got a few, Sam.
Well cheer up, boss.
We're gonna get drunk.