This Is My Year (2018) Movie Script
1
Hi. This is Rob
calling for Alison.
Hey, hi, sorry.
I just, pulled over.
What's the-- Did they
have her-- What's the news?
I don't know what the laws are
about driving with a cell phone.
I don't... I know that
I voted for something
about Bluetooth headsets,
but I don't...
Look, I just wanted
to play it safe. Um...
Hey, listen, have we, um...
Have we heard from them?
Are we, Are we in?
That's great.
That's, gr--
Yeah, it's great.
That's great.
Yeah, I felt like the
pitch went really well,
and I was...
I was pumped about it.
I felt really, um...
Pumped.
Listen.
Um, good job setting this up.
Yeah, good job.
Hey, we're doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that...
That works.
Monday's wide open.
Yeah, I can do Monday.
Yeah. Um, listen.
I should go 'cause I have,
some other calls
that I gotta make.
Okay, all right.
Thank you. Thank you, Alison.
Thanks again. Bye-bye.
Yes!
Yes!
Mom?
I think it's finally starting.
Well, thanks, guys,
be right out.
Have some boxes
in the hall, Connor.
Okay, got it.
What're you doing?
- I could've got those for you.
- No.
Anything else? No, this is everything.
Thank God.
So it's like official.
You're like a Hollywoodian.
Like a Hollow-Hollywooder?
Out of the valley
and into the frying pan.
Why would anyone
do that to themselves?
Connor?
In here.
I thought you left
without locking it again.
Yeah.
I said sorry for that.
I saw a distinctly bass Halsey man
peeing in a trash can out front.
So a little more
caution, please?
I know.
Not happening again.
You went back.Look.
It's bad enough living a block
away from Hollywood Boulevard.
I'm just trying to make
the most of it
by stocking up on
shitty swag and trinkets.
All my Christmas presents
for family I don't talk to.
We don't set foot on that street
unless there's a virus outbreak
and that's
the closest medical tent.
I got something for you. And even then,
we would have
to weigh it against
how severe
the virus symptoms are.
"Best Writer."
It only took three years.
And mine.
Very cute. I thought so.
Have you seen any more
of our neighbors?
Yeah, actually.
They helped me
carry all this stuff up here.
Aw. Simple but sweet.
My kinda guys.
Which one's Mark
and which one's Dave?
I doubt their mothers even know.
He's so funny.
He's like a prankster.
He's basically another Clooney.
That's amazing. What's
something funny that he did?
Yeah, um, you know what?
It was one of those you
had to be there type deals.
I get it.
What else about him?
Yeah, dude, tell us more about
Bradley Cooper's eyes.
Shut up, dude.
You didn't work with him.
Neither did you though, right?
You just saw him at the studio?
While I was dropping off
a package for work.
It counts.
Maybe then you can pitch
one of Connor's scripts
to the Coop.
No. Dave's just
totally joking.
I would never ask a friend
to do anything like that.
Hey, beer.
Hook a brother up.
You want one?
I'm good.
Help yourself though, Mark.
This week I caught up with
"Funny Girl" Ashley North
on the set of her new comedy.
I just love her.
As do I. I might be in love with her.
Aren't we all?
I spoke to her
about the pressures
of becoming a rising star--
You've spoken to her?
She's so down to earth.
Yeah, I've heard that.
We discussed
the pressures of becoming a rising star
and what it's like having
the weight of the world
on her shoulders.
Take a look.
"Weight of the world."
t's probably
a bit of an over statement,
but, my back is killing me.
No, but seriously.
It's a serious question.
Okay.
Yeah, I guess
it can be difficult at times.
It's a nice night out tonight?
Yeah, I guess so.
So, is that why
you moved to L.A.?
The weather?
I'm actually
trying to be a writer.
My God.
Well, me too.
Well, what kind of stuff
do you write?
Scripts and stuff, you know?
Is this your first one? No.
I've already written five.
That's a lot.
They're not great.
They're not good at all,
actually.
Yes! Yes!
Yes.
Yes.
Dave's been in there with
Mariah for a long time now.
Sofia.
Sofia!
Yep. Yep.
Um...
I'm not gonna...
I just...
I get it. I get it.
I'm so sorry. No, don't be sorry.
No, I'm sorry for, you know...
Did you want another beer or...
No, I'm, I'm good.
Thank you, Connor.
That's right.
I am Betsy Ross, and I
did sew this here flag.
Is it okay
if I do like a Southern thing?
Those
men claimed they designed it,
but they have no sense of style.
Those stars were all wrong...
I cannot believe my ears.
I know.
I still have every one of 'em.
...needs a woman's touch.
Do you remember how we could just turn
in a video assignment for any class
and it was like an automatic A?
My mom's camera single-handedly
kept us on the honor role.
You could not have found these
at a better time.
It's crazy how stunning we were.
Even back then,
you were so talented.
...I just...
I just love my country so much.
- I just changed.
- "I just changed."
Yeah, I guess not.
...but damn, is he hot.
Did I write this one?
I forget.
Damn, I wouldn't mind gettin'
a few splinters in my tongue,
if you know what I mean.
Is that a genuine
one and a quarter...
Diamond, what, carat?
Is that a genuine
one and a quarter
carat... One...
Honey, is that a genuine...
Is that a genuine...
Am I a bitch?
A quarter carat diamond ring?
Moon Kissed Jewelers?
Yes, a thousand times, yes.
Yes, a thousand times, yes.
Hey.
I remembered to lock the door.
Impressed?
I hate that.
I fucking hate that.
You had an audition.
That's great.
I don't need to read
about it on Facebook.
And what's worse
is after it was over,
he posted another picture
of him giving the thumbs up.
Like it went great.
Prayers and good vibes
are appreciated.
Gross. The worst.
Hey, guys. Shush, she's here.
Everyone shut up. Funny, A.J.
I didn't even know
you were home, Connor.
I was trying
to get some work done,
but I couldn't concentrate
over all your rehearsing.
And how are we supposed to work
with all of your silent writing?
So, who had an audition?
I worked something yesterday.
That's awesome.
Congratulations.
Whatever. It's just another
commercial, but, hey.
I miss commercials.
I'd murder a child
for a commercial.
Stop.
I don't know if I can handle
booking another bullshit pilot
that's never gonna see
the light of day.
I drool over Marcus' residual
checks when they come in the mail.
Well, it sounds like things are
really going well for you guys.
Sofia is kicking ass
too, actually.
- Really?
- What you got, girl?
Yeah.
New headshots?
Okay.
They're gonna be really pretty.
Wow, Sofia.
You always need to update those.
Thanks, guys.
Connor has her first ever
coffee meeting tomorrow.
Yeah.
She does.
Well, I'm off to go find a place
where I can get some work done.
Bye-bye. Later, Connor.
I'm locking the door.
Thank you.
How'd go?
I have never been so
embarrassed in my entire life.
I want to go crawl under a rock.
So, not great.
What're you making?
Dinner.
I know I can be a little manic,
and I know I can come on
a little strong,
but all things considered,
I'm like a normal person, right?
Usually?
I mean, that's kind of
a loaded question, Connor.
Well, apparently,
I am a huge, creepy weirdo
when it comes
to coffee meetups with...
Connections?
That, yeah.
And fuck that word, by the way.
I can make friends, no problem.
I have probably made a few
enemies without even trying,
but connections?
I mean, what does that even...
Connections.
There's a reason
I've avoided coffee meetups
for this long. What happened?
Just so many bad things.
From the start, okay?
Wait.
Who was this guy again?
Sorry, was he the web comic guy?
No, Carmen's the writer.
Like the actual writer
who sold that script.
Shit.
So he comes in and he says,
"Hey, how are you?"
And you said,
"Not much," didn't you?
I hate that.
"No thanks."
My God.
Just "No thanks."
Came right out.
I have never even heard
of a "No thanks."
No one has, first
in history, I think.
n all of history,
I mean, there was probably
- some nervous Roman...
- Maybe...
Not the worst of it.
To be continued.
Thank you.
For you.
I told him I saw his movie.
But you didn't.I did not.
But I pretended like I did,
because that can be
too hard to fake
in front of the person
who actually made the movie.
I don't know
who's making these decisions.
Who is this girl?
I'm listening.
Every time the part of his
movie came up in conversation,
I told him
I couldn't remember it
because I was really drunk
when I watched it,
which is probably worse
than not watching it at all.
I bullshitted my way
through an entire
breakdown of his movie.
He would say a character's name
and I wouldn't know,
and I would smile...
Everyone in that cafe knew
that I had not seen that movie.
It was like I was floating
outside of my body,
watching some girl
single-handedly destroy
her chances
of ever having a career.
What? What? When did...
Why did I take this?
You know what?
It's okay.
Even if it had gone
really well, which...
it didn't, but even
if it had, what the hell?
It's not like...
...when it was time
to say goodbye,
then I kissed him on the cheek.
Wow.
Hello.
Yes. Hi.
My God, um...
No, no, no, I'm sorry, um,
I appreciate it so much.
Highway driving
Up and down
the countryside
Forever winding...
Um, hi, this is, Connor Miller.
I found your number
on this list online.
I hope that's okay.
Um, I'm an aspiring
screenwriter and I--
Hello?
Hi. I'm an
aspiring screenwriter,
and I'm looking
for representation--
Hi. I've got professional
screenwriter Connor Miller on the line.
I can patch her through.
She's got a small window--
Hello?
No, Dad, I'm fine. Sorry.
Yeah.
No, I can talk.
As soon as I get a new roommate,
I can start paying you back.
It just...
No, I know.
Two months is more than fair.
Thank you.
Look, Daddy, I gotta go.
I'm in the middle
of working and...
Writing.
Okay.
I love you, too.
Shh.
Aren't we gonna
wake up your roommate?
Don't have one.
So.-
Am I coming in?
My God, you...
You are special.
What?
I know special, believe me.
I can tell that you
are a special person.
You know a lot
of special people.
It's kind of my job.
Um, the side table.
What? I think I have
condoms in there.
Let me just...
We should really use a condom.
Yeah.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
We really shouldn't
do this without...
No.
Definitely...
Yeah, we shouldn't.
You finished, didn't you?
Yeah.
Did you?
I hate you.
I don't know, Connor.
There's lots of these
guys around, you know.
Like, he can be the real deal,
but he can be full of shit.
How did you meet this guy again?
Bar.
Well...
I mean, if he seems cool,
he's probably legit.
Who knows?
You know, if you're like not
feeling up for it, we could do...
No, no, no, we should...
We should leave for dinner.
I, I wanna be home
early tonight.
Plans with
business card guy? No.
I wanna get to sleep.
I'm waking up at 4:00 to pick
someone up from the airport.
I am locking the door.
You're what?
Jesus.
This is how she left it.
All she took
was the coffee table,
which we split the cost of,
by the way.
You can sleep on the couch
if you want.
Does it fold out?
Nope. Just a couch.
Your pick.
All right, fine.
I'll take the Sofia shrine room,
but I swear to God if I see
one pair of eyes moving.
Yeah, yeah.
This took time and care.
I know.
In my head, you'll always be
way more adult
and put together than me.
All things considered.Exactly.
It just blows my mind that I may
know more about finances than you.
Well, that's the price you pay
for living on your own
like you are.
You gotta know about stuff.
So, since you have a wife,
you don't have to know stuff?
I only have to know
half the stuff.
I talked to Mom and Dad. Recently?
Yeah, like a few weeks ago.
They're...
They sound real stoked for you.
New apartment,
new momentum.
Really?
Yeah.
Like, what'd they say?
Well, Dad's impressed
that you're still out here.
I remember,
they were really worried
when you first,...
Worried? Yeah.
I don't know,
just about you being okay.
I guess the thing
that I'm learning is,
if you play ball
and stick to the rules,
things have a tendency
to work out.
Was that a scoff? Connor,
did you just scoff at me?
It's a nice place, Con.
I really like it.
Thanks, Milo.
America's newest
celebrity sweetheart
may not be so sweet after all.
Another unhinged
starlet rampage?
I'm afraid so.
And this time,
it's Ashley North.
I just love her.
You did. I did.
Not anymore? Not anymore.
The drunken actress
was caught by our cameras
causing a scene
outside a local strip club.
A scene.
It's just so tragic
to see an otherwise normal girl
just... I remember, you met her.
...unravel like that.
So sad.
I think we have some footage.
But they cut me off, man!
I'm Ashley North!
- Italian.
- mother.
"I'm a security guard."
you.
You hole.
I'm gonna up the
Italians, every one of them
mother meatball-eating.
We love you, Ashley. Get outta here.
We love you, Ashley.
Okay, no, no, no.
You don't get to be
upset about this, okay?
It was your decision not to
come with me and stay home.
So you're gonna have to figure
this out on your own.
Great.
Rebecca's fucking
swearing at me now.
What a surprise.
What a refreshing change.
Hey, babe, um,
yeah, Connor's real bummed
she missed you this weekend.
Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her.
That's sweet, sure.
Okay, all right, good night.
Love you too, bye.
So, that came quick. Yeah, the place
was right down the block.
It's kind of my go-to lately.
This town blows?
What? Why'd you say that?
I mean, like there's
fun stuff to do,
but it's not us.
No, it's not us.
It's me.
This is where I've lived
for three years.
Yeah, but, you know.
But, you know what?
This is, this is the
first time you've visited me
and you...
What were you gonna say, Milo?
Do you remember Todd Dormer?
Um, yeah.
He was your grade.
Cassie Neckowitz's
boyfriend, right?
Yeah. And so,
Cassie breaks up with him
the day that she gets accepted
into JMU and he doesn't.
So he goes on this 10-day
group trek to the Amazon River,
and on the last day they're like a
couple miles away from the river,
a few of the guys
decided to take a leak
in this little flowing stream.
They're like, "Hey, Todd.
"You need to hit the head?"
He says, "Yes,
"but I'm not gonna go in
that little flowing stream."
He decides to fill his
bladder up to its capacity
so that once
he gets to the river,
he could unleash
an epic golden shower
into the mighty Amazon.
How many times
have you rehearsed this story?
And so he holds it, and it
hurts, like hell it hurts.
Okay, every single step
feels like a thousand
little pins tickling his spleen,
but he makes it.
He drops his pants like a four-year-old
at a urinal that's too high,
and he takes the greatest pee
of his entire life.
Follow your dreams.
Have you ever heard
of the candiru fish?
No.
So, the Amazon river is lousy
with these little candirus.
They have a tendency
to swim upstream
and are attracted
to human urine.
So, it swims into his urethra?
Did I tell you this one already?
No, Milo.
It's bullshit.
This is a myth.
I've read about it online.
You know what else he said?
He said his biggest mistake was
flying too close to the sun.
He should've just peed
in that little flowing stream.
He should've gone with the flow.
Got it.
I'm not trying to be
a dick here, Connor.
Okay, I'm trying to be
an honest and helpful voice.
Maybe the type of voice that Mom and
Dad never took the opportunity to give.
Did you tell Rebecca I said hi?
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Where the hell
are the goddamn guest towels?
Come in.
You guys look great.
And so do you.
You're... You're a ninja?
And, Dave, you're a hula girl?
No.
Vampire.
And you're a mom.
Someone's blind mom
who dresses herself
and doesn't wear bras.
Are you still coming with us?
Um, you know, I've got
a lot of other things
I really should be doing.
Would you like some company?
What?
Let's go.
I guess, good night. Yeah, you too, Mark.
Did you want the address
like just in case
you want come later? Mark, Uber's here.
Bye.
I'm free.
Guess what? What.
I shaved my legs for you.
So, who are you?
Orson.
We've done this before,
haven't we?
I know who you...
We've...
Drinks and sex, twice.
I meant, who are you dressed as?
I am Ashley North, the actress.
Do you mind?
That's a good one? Thank you.
I should probably--Do you wanna...
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Do you know anyone
who is looking for a roommate?
No.
Well, if you find out
about anyone.
Cool, yeah, definitely.
What about...
Sorry.
Um, just one more thing.
Know anyone with a coffee table
they're trying to get rid of?
I don't know anyone
with an extra coffee table.
Sorry.
They're weirdly expensive,
you know?
These people down the block
left theirs outside
all day yesterday,
and it's exactly
what I would want.
Take it.
Just steal a coffee table?
Do you do stuff
like that, Orson?
They left it there
for people to take.
People do that all the time.
Really? Yeah.
They're throwing it out.
Just take it.
You really can't afford
a coffee table?
I can't afford rent,
hence the need for a roommate.
I'd, I'd really like to
make it through my year lease.
What do you do again?
I'm a waitress.
Well, like really.
Your thing was acting?
Writing.
Well, lucky you.
I know people who like scripts.
Are you really a "producer"?
Or do you just tell
all the girls that?
Those finger quotes
hurt a little.
And you kinda
just answered my question.
Send me one of your scripts,
Ms. Writer.
Serious.
If it's good,
I want it.
Seriously?
Well, 'cause I'm working
on this great new script.
It's... I'm still
trying to find my end,
but thematically,
I already broke it.
It's about the struggles
of this young woman
and--.
Keep the wig.
So, she lives.
Did you freeze?
Nope.
Okay, good catching up.
What do you want me to say, Con?
You want me to apologize?
If you're offering.
Well, then, I'm sorry.
You're not very genuine.
Must be a bad connection.
Sofia.
Why should I apologize?
It was... It was rough, okay?
So, why should I say I'm sorry?
For abandoning me. Please.
It's not like I left you
on a stoop in a basket.
We were supposed to be a team.
We were gonna make it
or break it together.
I don't remember taking a vow. Well, I did.
Well, of course you did, Connor,
'cause you don't
half-ass anything, do you?
I tried it out
just like I said I would.
"Tried it out."
I'm so grateful
you were there, Con.
Okay, but you knew
this would happen.
I knew it.
After years of being
almost perfect for the role
I knew I wasn't an actor.
We're not cut out for this.
Yeah, I am actually.
Holy shit.
I'm sorry, Connor.
I know.
I'm sorry, too.
So, what're you working on now?
Actually, I think you'd
really like this one.
It's... It's about the
struggles of a young woman--
Car chase! My God, Dave.
Car chase! Car chase!
Car chase! Holy shit!
Is everything okay? Everything's amazing.
"Car chase," I said.
Don't you have a TV?
Yours is bigger.
Hi, Dave.
Have we met?
Jeez.
I've never seen the 405 so open.
This can't be
your first car chase.
What?
Is this your first car chase?
I haven't seen one live,
I guess.
This is the best reason
to live in L.A.
How have you missed this?
Okay, every couple of months
and adventures criminals
sacrifices next year or so
of their freedom
to entertain the entire city,
and like a cosmic gift
to the masses,
the freeways are wide open.
It's magic,
and I don't want anyone--
Okay, shut up.
I'm into it.
- If you're just joining us...
- Turn me around.
...we're bringing
these images to you live
from our traffic helicopter.
We have unconfirmed reports
that the driver
of this stolen sedan is,
bizarrely enough,
celebrity actress
Ashley North. Holy shit.
North has been involved
in a series
of embarrassing public exploits
over the past few months.
At the risk of editorializing,
I'd say we're witnessing
a downward spiral.
Stay with us
as this story unfolds.
Maybe she'll crash
into a library or something.
Do you think
she'll crash into a library?
I just want this to be on TV
all the time.
In a rush?
No.
I mean, we can if you want.
No, let's...
Let's chat first.
How're you doing?
How are things?
Great, actually.
I found my end.
I did it.-
I can't wait for you to read it.
It's gonna be, um...
It's great.
You're script?
Yeah.That's...
That's awesome.
That's really great to hear.
How are you doing?
You know, good.
Busy and, good.
Yeah.
You seem so happy.Yeah.
Things are just
feeling clearer, I guess.
So...
You wanna? Um...
I'm actually...
I don't know.
Give me a sec.
You
have reached a recording of my voice.
Leave a recording of your voice.
We're connecting.
Can you feel it?
This one's stupid.
Was this one stupid--
Milo, me again.
Mom's got me really
freaked out about you.
Would you please just call back
so I know you're not dead?
You know you could always
come here if you need to--
Merry Christmas.
Stop calling me.
Jesus Christ, Milo.
I love what you've done
with the place.
Is that single plastic snowflake new?
It really ties the room.
Where the fuck have you been?
The North Pole.
Can I get a glass? Milo.
I was at Mom and Dad's
for the holidays
and for the foreseeable future.
I was serious about
that glass, by the way.
I was at Mom and Dad's
and I had to leave,
because I didn't
feel so welcome anymore.
Milo, they've been
so stressed out.
Stressed out? Yeah?
I thought everything would be
hunky-dory after I left,
without all
the screaming and shit.
They haven't changed a bit.
What happened?
Same thing that always
happens, only now,
I don't have
the patience for it.
After the 18th and final
argument of the season,
I had to bounce.
I don't need to be parented.
I'm a grown-ass,
fucking adult man, okay?
And that's exactly why I stole
these out of their basement.
We haven't heard from you
in two days.
How did you get across
the country in two days?
Airplanes, Connor,
lots of airplanes.
I think I had a layover
in every state,
and apparently, Delta
has not been notified yet
of my reason separation.
So, I used all
of Rebecca's miles.
Boom. Jesus, Milo.
Why didn't you call someone?
Mom? Me?
I've been busy.
That's a dick move, man.Yeah.
You can't do shit like that.
Look, I know you're going through...
I know it,
but there's a lot of people
that give a shit, Milo.
I thought...
I'm sorry, Connor.
So, are you gonna help me
with the stuff or what?
Milo!
Could you maybe not? Well, I'm confused.
Connor, am I supposed to be
chipping in more around
the apartment or not?
I feel like we had
a very clear discussion--
Just later would be great.
What, are you crafting
the perfect status update?
I am trying to write.
I'm so close
to finishing this draft.
Hold my calls.
Hey, so who's this guy again?
Like a boyfriend?
He's really connected
and he's nice.
We're like friends. Gross.
Don't say shit like that.
I know what that means.
Don't be weird. You don't be weird.
Hey, what can I make tonight?
Bread.
What can you make?
I make a pretty mean
grilled cheese.
Usually a little overcooked.
You could put
some clothes on maybe?
How much time do I have?
Shit, 20 minutes.
Cool, I'll get ready in 19.
Milo.
What?
Orson, you'll have to excuse
my excessive drinking.
I'm going through a divorce,
and it's Christmas.
Sorry.
I like your tree.
I haven't bought one
in like six years.
So much work.
No, it's just a cheap
little plastic one.
So, Orson,
why aren't you with your
family for the holidays?
Are they as unstable
and self-absorbed as ours?
I, usually don't do
anything for Christmas.
So, thanks for the invite.
I actually kind of like L.A.
this time of year.
It's empty. Town of transplants.
You know,
people empty out at home.
So, Connor tells me
you're a producer.
What does that mean?
I'll let you know when I do.
That's funny.
I...
Make movies
and other projects happen.
I get shit done, I guess.
What kind of shit? Movies
and projects, Milo.
You don't...
He doesn't really know a lot
about the industry.
Orson's actually offered
to read one of my scripts.
That's pretty cool.
What'd you think of it?
t was great.
Way to go, Connor.
I, um...
I haven't...
I haven't given you anything.
I haven't given you
a script yet.
I've been working on it.
Well, I've read bits and pieces.
That makes sense.
Um...
No, you haven't.
Are you sure?
I know I've read
something of yours.
No, you haven't.
I've been way too terrified
to send you anything.
It's been kind of a thing.
You read
a lot of scripts, Orson?
From a lot of girls?
This glaze,
out of this world, Connor.
Are you a dick or an eccentric?
You see, I have so much trouble
telling apart the dicks
from the eccentrics
in this town.
Do you get into lots of fights?
No.
Not really.
Me either.
But still, you should probably
get out of my apartment
before I finish this glass.
Everything is over
And I'm feeling sad
I just lost the best pal
That I ever had
Is but four nights
Since she was here...
Good morning, honey.
Orange juice?
You just
brushed your teeth, didn't you?
I hate that.
We'll hold off.
Finally decided to get up
after all the cooking's done.
Arthur, leave her alone.
Teenagers are designed
to sleep in.
Right, Connor? Right, Mom.
I'm kidding.
She knows I'm kidding.
The economy.
So, checkout this alien brain
I found in the desert.
That's disgusting.Yeah.
Hey, Mom. Milo, Rebecca.
I didn't know you were coming.
Yes, this is a surprise, Mom.
This is what
a surprise feels like. Hi, Judy.
There's not enough food for you.
You should've called first. Dad.
Don't even worry about it,
old man.
We stopped on the way here.
You've already eaten?
You're not gonna eat?
I can make more.
Mom, we're fine.
Thank you, though.
God bless you.
Hey, Hollywood.
Connor wants a big migration.
We're still a few months away.
And we're
not talking about it. He's joking, dear.
Yeah, it's one of his famous
jokes, you know the kind
that sounds more like a threat.
It's very unsettling.
Mom, I promise you
we're not gonna eat anything.
There's plenty to go around.
Judy, just sit down already.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
The whole family's here, Arthur.
There's actually
a reason for that.
Yeah, that's right.
The temp agency
finally got me a job.
That's wonderful, honey.
There you go, Milo.
It's about time.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm proud of both of you.
Milo's finally getting
his life going.
Connor is making
an extremely brave move.
That's respectable.
It's noteworthy.
Dad. No, really.
Not everyone would do what you're
doing, kiddo, not at your age.
I didn't.
We're very proud of you.
No one's gonna get in
on those sausages?
That's disgusting.
Your mother
made that food to eat.
I already told her
we didn't want any,
so it'd be rude
not to play with it.
Can I have a grape?
How did you end up so stupid?
No, really. Don't just sit there
laughing like an idiot, Milo.
Tell me, why can't you
take anything seriously?
Why is everything
such a goddamn joke to you?
Come on, Dad.
My wife's here.
This is a surprise.
We've got news for you.
Your wife is here. Why
are you behaving like a child?
Playing with the food?
I don't understand you anymore.
Orson? Kinda.
I'm a mix of Orson
and that guy from Sum 41
you had a crush on
in high school.
See?
I'm wearing a tie as a belt.
That does something to me,
and I don't understand why.
It's all for you.
You deserve it.
You've got a lot of talent.
Really?
Yeah.
She fell asleep.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm feeling
really good about today.
How 'bout it?
Let's get right to it.
Ashley North is once again
our main talking point.
She's still trekking?
I can't believe it either.
Ashley North, really?
Ashley North, Ashley North
is on the Dr. Newton Show this week,
and she is telling all
about her recent struggles
with substance abuse.
More like struggles with drugs.
Yeah, why flower it up? She's a junkie.
Here's a clip.
I'm late for work.
So you turn off the TV?
God.
It's a beautiful day,
Of course it is.
Every day
is a fucking beautiful day.
Which, if you think about it,
kinda makes no day
truly beautiful.
Can you do something today? Like what?
Like look for a job?
I can't get a roommate
while you're here,
and you can't pay the rent
until you get a job.
Aren't Mom and Dad
still sending you checks?
Yes,
but how much longer
do you think they'll do that?
Look, just check
the Internet, okay?
You can use my computer.
Okay.
I'm locking the door.
I don't care.
What do you want?
Just returning this.
Why do you have that?
After your brother
had threatened to beat me up,
he made sure I took home
some leftovers.
Good guy.
He's an idiot.
I, I still haven't
read your script.
I'm sorry, but I haven't.
Don't be.
I still haven't sent it.
Yeah, you did.
This time I know you did.
I definitely did not send that.
Okay.
Listen, there's another reason
I wanted to stop by.
Out with it.
I don't like
where we left things.
Me neither.
And I don't like the idea
that you might think
I was using you or...
I don't think that.
I wouldn't let you use me.
Exactly.
And the fact that I even give
a shit what you think about me
is good.
I've talked it over
with myself a few times,
and I've decided
that I like you.
I don't want this to stop.
Orson.
Now I'm not being sweet
or earnest, okay?
Because I'm neither
of those things.
But I know what I want
and I want this.
But again, just to be clear,
no sweetness
or earnestness at all.
So, a movie sometime?
Yeah, yes, that's...
That's perfect.
Call me when you're free.
That'll take forever.
I am very busy, and I will
not be free until you call me.
Fine.
Bye.
Whoa. Hey, knock please.
I could have been...
My God.
This is all that I do.
Did you send my script to Orson?
That sounds
a little familiar, yeah.
God, Milo, what a...
Why? It wasn't...
I was working on it.
It seemed finished to me.
You read my script?
Yeah.
What? What did...
Did you like it?
Yeah, it was fine.
And you thought it was okay
to email a fine script
to a connection?
Yeah, relax. No, I won't.
You're fucking this all up.
Whoa, Connor. You know,
you just don't get
how this works.
You're on IMDb.
What? Yeah, I guess,
one of the PA gigs
you did last year went up,
and now you're, you're on IMDb.
How many degrees? What?
How many degrees?
Are you serious? Yeah.
All right.
Okay, this stunt guy...
To super...
to Kevin fucking Bacon.
And?
Twenty-eight.
Holy shit, 28?
Pretty...
It's pretty cool.
Twenty-eight? Twenty-eight?
Twenty-eight! Twenty-eight!
Twenty-eight! Twenty-eight!
Shut the fuck up!
Why are you so huffy? Huffy?
You seem grumpy.
Your hair looks
really nice today.
Thank you.
So you can't say it.
One hour to get to the airport,
Forty-five minutes circling
round and around LAX
and then two hours to get back
because you just had to stop
at the busiest In-N-Out
in this dimension.
This is long overdue.
Thanks for picking me up, Milo.
You're welcome.
Do you want to drink?
Nah, probably not.
I'm trying to score points
back with my best friend.
I don't want her to come home
and see us drunkenly making out.
Like you could
score with the Milostone?
No one calls you that.
It sounds like milestone.
That's barely a play on words.
Milo Ren.
Are you into Star Wars?
So how is she?
Well, is she all right?
I think you left a few things.
I swear to God,
he's like 300 pounds now
and way into trucks. My God.
I hate how happy that makes me.
Yeah, well, fuck her.
Serves her right for stealing
your boyfriend in school.
In the third grade.
In the third fucking grade.
I'm so glad you're still
kicking ass out here.
I wish you'd never left.
I got a part.
What? When?
Right after the headshots.
But I'd already
decided to move back home,
and I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I wanted to see my mom,
my family,
and I decided that I could be
happy working as a secretary
or in retail,
or trying to convince Jeffrey
to marry me and deport me
with his mysterious
contracting job.
Just coast through
the rest of my life.
'Cause after three years
of drowning in L.A.,
I decided these things
and it scared me.
Would that make me a failure?
Would it make me
as unhappy as my parents?
Are my parents even unhappy?
And then I got the phone call.
It was a real speaking part
and real pilot.
And all of a sudden,
all of these questions
that I was asking myself
were suddenly so much less scary
than saying yes
to the voice on the phone.
So, all because you are afraid?
No.
I was also pissed
and bored and tired.
And I just don't care
as much as you do, Connor.
I mean, what if I spent
the rest of my life
being that tired?
It's just not worth it.
You're stronger than me,
I guess.
I can't think of anything
scarier than doing what you did,
giving up.
You are going to be
amazing out here.
You already are.
And it's just going to
continue, I know it.
I know it, too.
You know,
when I was young
I was pretty sure
That if you knew
what I had
You would eat your words
Trying to see
what's in my hands
And all of my friends
that I've kept in my purse
Made me numb and stupid
But I kept to my own
And treat it
like it's medicine
Can I help you?
Did you read it?
Your script? Yeah
Hey. When did you read it?
Like a week ago, I guess.
And you didn't...
Did you hate it? I did not hate it.
We didn't talk about it after?
No.
Connor, I...
I really dug it, actually.
Really?
I was kind of obsessed
with it afterwards.
It's so funny and...
And it's so sad,
and the funny parts make
the sad parts way sadder.
It's one of those.
That's exactly
what I was going for.
I've been
telling people about it.
What? What people?
Other industry guys,
Indie guys mostly.
Why didn't you tell me?
I swear we talked about it.
No, it's...
It's really good.
Seriously, like,
like good enough to move forward
with these guys?
Don't get too worked up.
It's a long shot,
but I'm building
some excitement.
Don't get your hopes up, though.
I know who
I am, but it's not that.
I kind of feel like
it's all finally happening.
What did I just say?
Yeah, listen, man,
I wanna hear...
I wanna hear
more about this gig.
Um, is it something I could...
Is it possible to work remotely?
Who's that for? Hey, sign here.
Okay, cool. Sorry.
I'm asshole phone guy.
It's cool.
Um, so no wiggle room on that?
No, it's just that
I'm in L.A. with my...
Hey, I'll...
I'll call you right back.
Do you need something else?
Where did you
get that table, bro?
What table? Don't!
I know this
is my shit right here.
Seriously.
Where did you get this table?
I don't know, man,
but you can't just barge
into somebody's apartment.
I made this table
for my mama in shop class.
So, how the fuck did it
end up in your apartment?
Look, if you don't leave, I'm
gonna have to call the cops.
I'm sorry,
but, okay, no, no, stop it!
Okay, this isn't your table!
Man, this is my table.
No, it belongs to my sister,
and she's having
a really rough year.
Get outta here,
you little dumb fuck.
And all he took
was the coffee table?
Yeah, it wasn't really
like a robbery scenario.
I think it was legit his table,
like the pizza guy makes tables.
It was on the side of the road.
People do that all the time.
Are you sure you
didn't say anything to him?
Like what?
Were you drunk?
No, I wasn't drunk.
I wasn't drunk.
I can't handle you. Me?
How in any way is this my fault?
Ever since you got here,
it has been shitstorm
after shitstorm.
I forgot that you were queen
of Hollywood before I showed up.
How am I supposed
to get anywhere
if I have to keep
taking care of you?
What are you doing here, Milo?
Hanging out with my baby sister.
I'm not a...
Look, I'm really
struggling here, okay?
I can't keep watching your
life fall apart while I am
fighting to keep mine together.
My life's not falling apart.
Look, I need
to focus on my own shit,
and if that means not being
able to hold you up constantly,
then I need you
to stay out of my way.
Okay, Connor.
Where're you going? To my girlfriend's?
I didn't know
you had a girlfriend.
Yeah, well, you've been real
busy focusing on your own shit.
It's locked.
Bathroom?
Thanks.
Milo,
was that fucking Ashley North?
You know her?
Yeah, we got in pretty late last night.
Tried to be quiet.
Didn't wanna be
a burden.
- You're out of toilet paper
so I'm just gonna
drip-dry, okay?
Might be a sec, Milo.
Okay, sweetheart.
Thank you.
She really is down to earth.
Yeah.
All set.
Well, as predicted,
all we have
left in this apartment
is off-brand,
out-of-date cereal.
I'm gonna rollerblade on down to the taco
shop, get us some breakfast burritos.
You are so sweet. Stop it.
You're so sweet.
A kiss from Ashley North.
That's gonna last me all day.
Connor, right?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Um, am I like on some show
where celebrities
screw with regular people?
I don't remember
how Punk'd works.
You recognize me.
Yeah, I, yeah.
We don't have to sit here
if you don't want.
We can
sit on the couch too, also.
I'm good. Thanks.
So,
how exactly
did you meet my brother?
At a bar, few weeks back.
We've, met for drinks
a few times since then.
He just cares so much
about other people.
He's basically the opposite
of L.A. guys,
which is exactly
what I need right now.
I'm kind of being devoured.
Yeah. No, it's all over TV.
What happened?
I'm sorry, that's...
No, that's fine.
I used to be
a really good person.
Most people don't realize that.
How did you,
um, become an actress?
I moved out here when I was 16
and I dropped out
of high school,
hit the pavement,
took a bunch of shitty jobs.
Soon enough,
I got my first agent.
How long did that take?
Nine, ten years probably.
But...
Anyway, fast forward
to this whole overnight success.
Which took about
a thousand nights.
Yep.
And all that focus and drive
just wasn't all
that necessary anymore.
That whole struggle
really did a number, I guess.
Yeah, but, I mean,
you were pursuing your dreams.
Yeah, but you know,
that's what broken people do.
That's not true.
What's more selfish
than wanting to be happy
all the time
for the rest of your life?
We punish ourselves for years,
we call it
"paying our dues."
It's all so that
we can have a chance
at that light
at the end of the tunnel,
where everything
is just hunky-dory.
And it's not?
Life doesn't cooperate
like that.
You can't front-load
the shittiness.
What, so people shouldn't try?
People shouldn't feel guilty
for striving
to live their best life.
I mean, that can't be right,
can it?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
The more
I'm thinking about this,
the more pissed off I'm getting,
at you specifically,
for saying that.
I'm proud
of what I'm doing here.
My friends, my family
are all super proud of me.
Because not everyone
has the balls
to try and make something
of themselves.
Only... Only a big fish
in a small pond
is capable of transferring
to a bigger pond
or an ocean even,
if you don't
factor in the saltwater.
It's a messy metaphor.
Yeah, but I think it's fine
what I'm doing here, and, yeah,
I haven't finished a script
since I moved, and, yeah,
I hate the person
that I'm turning into,
but I've only scratched
the surface of this town
and if it breaks off
and falls into the ocean,
like they say it will,
I'm in deep enough
that it'll drag me
right down with it.
Not even a natural disaster
could break me free.
I thought
we were talking about me.
Burritos!
Were, Were
you guys talking about me?
Are you still awake?
When is it, okay for me
to stop playing it cool?
You've been playing it cool?
I want to ask you
about that script you read,
and how it's all going
with those Indie film guys,
but I don't wanna sound
overly eager, which is weird,
because we're like
in a relationship.
That is weird.
Of course.
Yeah?
How's it all going
with those Indie film guys?
It's a no-go, Connor.
Connor.
Hey.
I'm so sorry.
This just
happens sometimes.
Most of the time, actually.
Yeah.
Look, your script
went out there.
The guys just didn't connect.
That's still
a huge accomplishment.
You've only been here a
few years You got so close.
How could you not tell me?
"Nothing budged."
What kind of news
is that to hear?
Well, why didn't they like it?
Connor.
Tell me what they said
about my script.
Okay.
Carl, the producer of Rager,
that slasher series,
he said it didn't have
a question.
What does that mean?
I guess like a...
A central question.
You know? No, I don't know.
A mystery, a thesis
that keeps you turning
the pages, a question.
That's so dumb.
He produced those
fucking Rager movies!
What's he know?
If there is a character
that people can latch onto,
they'll wanna see
how it all works out.
It's about
the victories of humankind.
Carl's an idiot.
Well...
Nobody cares
about character, Connor.
People want a point of view.
People want thoughtfulness
and doubt,
not just mission accomplished.
This is exactly why I didn't want
to talk to you about this stuff.
Why is that?
We're talking about writing.
We're talking about craft.
This is good.
No, this actually kind of sucks.
Look, I asked you
for their notes,
and you're giving me
their notes,
I can take it.
You don't think
I'm a good writer.
Totally normal way
to receive notes, by the way.
I thought you could...
The whole point of this was...
Holy shit.
No--No, hey, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
I cannot believe
I did not see this coming!
Orson.
I was so worried
about your feelings.
I was so worried
that you thought
I was taking advantage
of you. Amazing.
I wasn't
taking advantage of you.
You are the fucking
worst of 'em, Connor.
You thought I was what?
An opportunity?
A fucking connection?
You actually think
you're a good person?
God, this town blows.
I know.
Bye, Connor.
You didn't get that shredder off
the side of the street, did you?
I don't think we're
supposed to be taking shit
off the side of the street.
No.
This was in my closet.
Connor, these are all scripts.
Do you have them backed
up on your computer or...
Yeah.
Fun.
When did I get so delusional?
Can't talk about that.
I'm shredding.
Mom and Dad were just always
pressuring me to be great.
I guess I felt like I had to be.
No.
Mom and Dad worshiped you.
They hung your participation
medals on the wall.
Not bitter.
They were supportive
of you, too.
It's like we grew up
in different households.
But again, I'm not bitter.
But if you're wondering
why you grew up
thinking you were capable
of great things,
it's probably
just because you are.
Probably.
How do you know?
You told me, you were six.
Is this the new one?
Yeah.
"Interior, editor-in-chief's
office, day."
Milo. What?
I never got a chance
to read the last scene.
"Articles and papers
clutter the desk.
"What a stark change
from Athena's first visit."
I've been meaning to tell you,
nobody's name is Athena,
and you can't call her that.
You sent my rough draft
to a producer,
and you didn't even
finish reading it?
We're way past that, Connor.
Can you read for Athena, please?
You're such a dick.
I'll be the editor.
"You've had a great run, Athena,
"but we just can't
overlook this controversy.
"The sight
can't take the hint."
"But, Mr. Plummer..."
that's a wonderful read.
You're really good at this.
"But, Mr. Plummer,
you don't understand."
"No buts, Athena,
we love your work,
"and we love
having you on the team,
"but the world of fashion
journalism isn't always fair.
"That's a harsh reality, and I'm
glad you're hitting on that."
Okay, it sucks.
Let's stop.
"The world isn't always fair.
"You're young so you might not
have gotten that memo yet."
"I know more than you
give me credit for."
"That's exactly right.
"You are smart.
"You are special, Athena."
So, fuck this place.
Fuck this journalism
fashion place.
That's not in there.
Change it.
Okay, but I worked
really hard on this.
So, can you please
stick to what's on the page?
Connor, it's great.
You're great.
Today's the day. For what?
Bibimbap.
That place by Ralph's
is closing in a month,
and I think this is our window.
Okay.
But can we Google
what the fuck that is first?
Yes. Yes, please.
I've got allergies
to worry about.
See, when I was a kid,
we'd probably have to
Google it before we left.
But with your little smartphone,
we can do it on the way. You're so old.
Connor?
You guys?
Orson might still
have the one I emailed him.
I could check in if you want.
Detective Simmons was nice.
I liked his tie.
Connor?
Yeah.
This is a mess.
It's like some sort
of natural disaster came in.
Where are you going?
There's another suitcase
in the closet.
You know what?
I'm good, actually.
I'm serious, Milo.
Yeah, so am I.
But I can help you pack,
you know.
Hurry up. You're trying
to leave tonight?
Come on.
Well, I was driving west
In the middle of June
And gonna see some family
And forget about you
And I heard you singing
On the radio
It sounded like a tune
that I had written...
Okay.
Um, so, make sure you call the
landlord about that leaky faucet.
Yeah, I'm on it. It's
completely going crazy.
Okay, um,
the keys to the mail room--
Are on the kitchen counter.
You've told me
like three times already. Okay, okay.
Um, rent is due
on the first and...
Just give me
a little bit of credit,
just the littlest bit of credit.
I'm an adult.
I'm an adult man. I'll try.
Where is the mail room again?
My, Milo--
I'm fucking with you.
God, get out of here.
I'm tired of you.
And I love you. I love you, too.
Drive safe. I will.
Don't tell Mom
where I'm staying.
Okay, deal.
The pavement on the ground
decided to swallow me up
And you just
took off running
And you let me go
And I've been here
all alone
Yeah, I've been stuck
here in some kind of a
California sinkhole
Yeah, I've been stuck
here in some kind of a
California sinkhole
Got to drop that
and look at me
Drawn up in your old ways
and your mind games
That we'll set free
Pull me closer
to the edge with you
Pull me closer as we
float through the room
Don't pay attention to
the other half of you
Are you lost
in those words you said?
Can't get enough of you
After all that
we've been through
Some days
you just don't forget
Tryin' hard to...
Hi. This is Rob
calling for Alison.
Hey, hi, sorry.
I just, pulled over.
What's the-- Did they
have her-- What's the news?
I don't know what the laws are
about driving with a cell phone.
I don't... I know that
I voted for something
about Bluetooth headsets,
but I don't...
Look, I just wanted
to play it safe. Um...
Hey, listen, have we, um...
Have we heard from them?
Are we, Are we in?
That's great.
That's, gr--
Yeah, it's great.
That's great.
Yeah, I felt like the
pitch went really well,
and I was...
I was pumped about it.
I felt really, um...
Pumped.
Listen.
Um, good job setting this up.
Yeah, good job.
Hey, we're doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that...
That works.
Monday's wide open.
Yeah, I can do Monday.
Yeah. Um, listen.
I should go 'cause I have,
some other calls
that I gotta make.
Okay, all right.
Thank you. Thank you, Alison.
Thanks again. Bye-bye.
Yes!
Yes!
Mom?
I think it's finally starting.
Well, thanks, guys,
be right out.
Have some boxes
in the hall, Connor.
Okay, got it.
What're you doing?
- I could've got those for you.
- No.
Anything else? No, this is everything.
Thank God.
So it's like official.
You're like a Hollywoodian.
Like a Hollow-Hollywooder?
Out of the valley
and into the frying pan.
Why would anyone
do that to themselves?
Connor?
In here.
I thought you left
without locking it again.
Yeah.
I said sorry for that.
I saw a distinctly bass Halsey man
peeing in a trash can out front.
So a little more
caution, please?
I know.
Not happening again.
You went back.Look.
It's bad enough living a block
away from Hollywood Boulevard.
I'm just trying to make
the most of it
by stocking up on
shitty swag and trinkets.
All my Christmas presents
for family I don't talk to.
We don't set foot on that street
unless there's a virus outbreak
and that's
the closest medical tent.
I got something for you. And even then,
we would have
to weigh it against
how severe
the virus symptoms are.
"Best Writer."
It only took three years.
And mine.
Very cute. I thought so.
Have you seen any more
of our neighbors?
Yeah, actually.
They helped me
carry all this stuff up here.
Aw. Simple but sweet.
My kinda guys.
Which one's Mark
and which one's Dave?
I doubt their mothers even know.
He's so funny.
He's like a prankster.
He's basically another Clooney.
That's amazing. What's
something funny that he did?
Yeah, um, you know what?
It was one of those you
had to be there type deals.
I get it.
What else about him?
Yeah, dude, tell us more about
Bradley Cooper's eyes.
Shut up, dude.
You didn't work with him.
Neither did you though, right?
You just saw him at the studio?
While I was dropping off
a package for work.
It counts.
Maybe then you can pitch
one of Connor's scripts
to the Coop.
No. Dave's just
totally joking.
I would never ask a friend
to do anything like that.
Hey, beer.
Hook a brother up.
You want one?
I'm good.
Help yourself though, Mark.
This week I caught up with
"Funny Girl" Ashley North
on the set of her new comedy.
I just love her.
As do I. I might be in love with her.
Aren't we all?
I spoke to her
about the pressures
of becoming a rising star--
You've spoken to her?
She's so down to earth.
Yeah, I've heard that.
We discussed
the pressures of becoming a rising star
and what it's like having
the weight of the world
on her shoulders.
Take a look.
"Weight of the world."
t's probably
a bit of an over statement,
but, my back is killing me.
No, but seriously.
It's a serious question.
Okay.
Yeah, I guess
it can be difficult at times.
It's a nice night out tonight?
Yeah, I guess so.
So, is that why
you moved to L.A.?
The weather?
I'm actually
trying to be a writer.
My God.
Well, me too.
Well, what kind of stuff
do you write?
Scripts and stuff, you know?
Is this your first one? No.
I've already written five.
That's a lot.
They're not great.
They're not good at all,
actually.
Yes! Yes!
Yes.
Yes.
Dave's been in there with
Mariah for a long time now.
Sofia.
Sofia!
Yep. Yep.
Um...
I'm not gonna...
I just...
I get it. I get it.
I'm so sorry. No, don't be sorry.
No, I'm sorry for, you know...
Did you want another beer or...
No, I'm, I'm good.
Thank you, Connor.
That's right.
I am Betsy Ross, and I
did sew this here flag.
Is it okay
if I do like a Southern thing?
Those
men claimed they designed it,
but they have no sense of style.
Those stars were all wrong...
I cannot believe my ears.
I know.
I still have every one of 'em.
...needs a woman's touch.
Do you remember how we could just turn
in a video assignment for any class
and it was like an automatic A?
My mom's camera single-handedly
kept us on the honor role.
You could not have found these
at a better time.
It's crazy how stunning we were.
Even back then,
you were so talented.
...I just...
I just love my country so much.
- I just changed.
- "I just changed."
Yeah, I guess not.
...but damn, is he hot.
Did I write this one?
I forget.
Damn, I wouldn't mind gettin'
a few splinters in my tongue,
if you know what I mean.
Is that a genuine
one and a quarter...
Diamond, what, carat?
Is that a genuine
one and a quarter
carat... One...
Honey, is that a genuine...
Is that a genuine...
Am I a bitch?
A quarter carat diamond ring?
Moon Kissed Jewelers?
Yes, a thousand times, yes.
Yes, a thousand times, yes.
Hey.
I remembered to lock the door.
Impressed?
I hate that.
I fucking hate that.
You had an audition.
That's great.
I don't need to read
about it on Facebook.
And what's worse
is after it was over,
he posted another picture
of him giving the thumbs up.
Like it went great.
Prayers and good vibes
are appreciated.
Gross. The worst.
Hey, guys. Shush, she's here.
Everyone shut up. Funny, A.J.
I didn't even know
you were home, Connor.
I was trying
to get some work done,
but I couldn't concentrate
over all your rehearsing.
And how are we supposed to work
with all of your silent writing?
So, who had an audition?
I worked something yesterday.
That's awesome.
Congratulations.
Whatever. It's just another
commercial, but, hey.
I miss commercials.
I'd murder a child
for a commercial.
Stop.
I don't know if I can handle
booking another bullshit pilot
that's never gonna see
the light of day.
I drool over Marcus' residual
checks when they come in the mail.
Well, it sounds like things are
really going well for you guys.
Sofia is kicking ass
too, actually.
- Really?
- What you got, girl?
Yeah.
New headshots?
Okay.
They're gonna be really pretty.
Wow, Sofia.
You always need to update those.
Thanks, guys.
Connor has her first ever
coffee meeting tomorrow.
Yeah.
She does.
Well, I'm off to go find a place
where I can get some work done.
Bye-bye. Later, Connor.
I'm locking the door.
Thank you.
How'd go?
I have never been so
embarrassed in my entire life.
I want to go crawl under a rock.
So, not great.
What're you making?
Dinner.
I know I can be a little manic,
and I know I can come on
a little strong,
but all things considered,
I'm like a normal person, right?
Usually?
I mean, that's kind of
a loaded question, Connor.
Well, apparently,
I am a huge, creepy weirdo
when it comes
to coffee meetups with...
Connections?
That, yeah.
And fuck that word, by the way.
I can make friends, no problem.
I have probably made a few
enemies without even trying,
but connections?
I mean, what does that even...
Connections.
There's a reason
I've avoided coffee meetups
for this long. What happened?
Just so many bad things.
From the start, okay?
Wait.
Who was this guy again?
Sorry, was he the web comic guy?
No, Carmen's the writer.
Like the actual writer
who sold that script.
Shit.
So he comes in and he says,
"Hey, how are you?"
And you said,
"Not much," didn't you?
I hate that.
"No thanks."
My God.
Just "No thanks."
Came right out.
I have never even heard
of a "No thanks."
No one has, first
in history, I think.
n all of history,
I mean, there was probably
- some nervous Roman...
- Maybe...
Not the worst of it.
To be continued.
Thank you.
For you.
I told him I saw his movie.
But you didn't.I did not.
But I pretended like I did,
because that can be
too hard to fake
in front of the person
who actually made the movie.
I don't know
who's making these decisions.
Who is this girl?
I'm listening.
Every time the part of his
movie came up in conversation,
I told him
I couldn't remember it
because I was really drunk
when I watched it,
which is probably worse
than not watching it at all.
I bullshitted my way
through an entire
breakdown of his movie.
He would say a character's name
and I wouldn't know,
and I would smile...
Everyone in that cafe knew
that I had not seen that movie.
It was like I was floating
outside of my body,
watching some girl
single-handedly destroy
her chances
of ever having a career.
What? What? When did...
Why did I take this?
You know what?
It's okay.
Even if it had gone
really well, which...
it didn't, but even
if it had, what the hell?
It's not like...
...when it was time
to say goodbye,
then I kissed him on the cheek.
Wow.
Hello.
Yes. Hi.
My God, um...
No, no, no, I'm sorry, um,
I appreciate it so much.
Highway driving
Up and down
the countryside
Forever winding...
Um, hi, this is, Connor Miller.
I found your number
on this list online.
I hope that's okay.
Um, I'm an aspiring
screenwriter and I--
Hello?
Hi. I'm an
aspiring screenwriter,
and I'm looking
for representation--
Hi. I've got professional
screenwriter Connor Miller on the line.
I can patch her through.
She's got a small window--
Hello?
No, Dad, I'm fine. Sorry.
Yeah.
No, I can talk.
As soon as I get a new roommate,
I can start paying you back.
It just...
No, I know.
Two months is more than fair.
Thank you.
Look, Daddy, I gotta go.
I'm in the middle
of working and...
Writing.
Okay.
I love you, too.
Shh.
Aren't we gonna
wake up your roommate?
Don't have one.
So.-
Am I coming in?
My God, you...
You are special.
What?
I know special, believe me.
I can tell that you
are a special person.
You know a lot
of special people.
It's kind of my job.
Um, the side table.
What? I think I have
condoms in there.
Let me just...
We should really use a condom.
Yeah.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
We really shouldn't
do this without...
No.
Definitely...
Yeah, we shouldn't.
You finished, didn't you?
Yeah.
Did you?
I hate you.
I don't know, Connor.
There's lots of these
guys around, you know.
Like, he can be the real deal,
but he can be full of shit.
How did you meet this guy again?
Bar.
Well...
I mean, if he seems cool,
he's probably legit.
Who knows?
You know, if you're like not
feeling up for it, we could do...
No, no, no, we should...
We should leave for dinner.
I, I wanna be home
early tonight.
Plans with
business card guy? No.
I wanna get to sleep.
I'm waking up at 4:00 to pick
someone up from the airport.
I am locking the door.
You're what?
Jesus.
This is how she left it.
All she took
was the coffee table,
which we split the cost of,
by the way.
You can sleep on the couch
if you want.
Does it fold out?
Nope. Just a couch.
Your pick.
All right, fine.
I'll take the Sofia shrine room,
but I swear to God if I see
one pair of eyes moving.
Yeah, yeah.
This took time and care.
I know.
In my head, you'll always be
way more adult
and put together than me.
All things considered.Exactly.
It just blows my mind that I may
know more about finances than you.
Well, that's the price you pay
for living on your own
like you are.
You gotta know about stuff.
So, since you have a wife,
you don't have to know stuff?
I only have to know
half the stuff.
I talked to Mom and Dad. Recently?
Yeah, like a few weeks ago.
They're...
They sound real stoked for you.
New apartment,
new momentum.
Really?
Yeah.
Like, what'd they say?
Well, Dad's impressed
that you're still out here.
I remember,
they were really worried
when you first,...
Worried? Yeah.
I don't know,
just about you being okay.
I guess the thing
that I'm learning is,
if you play ball
and stick to the rules,
things have a tendency
to work out.
Was that a scoff? Connor,
did you just scoff at me?
It's a nice place, Con.
I really like it.
Thanks, Milo.
America's newest
celebrity sweetheart
may not be so sweet after all.
Another unhinged
starlet rampage?
I'm afraid so.
And this time,
it's Ashley North.
I just love her.
You did. I did.
Not anymore? Not anymore.
The drunken actress
was caught by our cameras
causing a scene
outside a local strip club.
A scene.
It's just so tragic
to see an otherwise normal girl
just... I remember, you met her.
...unravel like that.
So sad.
I think we have some footage.
But they cut me off, man!
I'm Ashley North!
- Italian.
- mother.
"I'm a security guard."
you.
You hole.
I'm gonna up the
Italians, every one of them
mother meatball-eating.
We love you, Ashley. Get outta here.
We love you, Ashley.
Okay, no, no, no.
You don't get to be
upset about this, okay?
It was your decision not to
come with me and stay home.
So you're gonna have to figure
this out on your own.
Great.
Rebecca's fucking
swearing at me now.
What a surprise.
What a refreshing change.
Hey, babe, um,
yeah, Connor's real bummed
she missed you this weekend.
Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her.
That's sweet, sure.
Okay, all right, good night.
Love you too, bye.
So, that came quick. Yeah, the place
was right down the block.
It's kind of my go-to lately.
This town blows?
What? Why'd you say that?
I mean, like there's
fun stuff to do,
but it's not us.
No, it's not us.
It's me.
This is where I've lived
for three years.
Yeah, but, you know.
But, you know what?
This is, this is the
first time you've visited me
and you...
What were you gonna say, Milo?
Do you remember Todd Dormer?
Um, yeah.
He was your grade.
Cassie Neckowitz's
boyfriend, right?
Yeah. And so,
Cassie breaks up with him
the day that she gets accepted
into JMU and he doesn't.
So he goes on this 10-day
group trek to the Amazon River,
and on the last day they're like a
couple miles away from the river,
a few of the guys
decided to take a leak
in this little flowing stream.
They're like, "Hey, Todd.
"You need to hit the head?"
He says, "Yes,
"but I'm not gonna go in
that little flowing stream."
He decides to fill his
bladder up to its capacity
so that once
he gets to the river,
he could unleash
an epic golden shower
into the mighty Amazon.
How many times
have you rehearsed this story?
And so he holds it, and it
hurts, like hell it hurts.
Okay, every single step
feels like a thousand
little pins tickling his spleen,
but he makes it.
He drops his pants like a four-year-old
at a urinal that's too high,
and he takes the greatest pee
of his entire life.
Follow your dreams.
Have you ever heard
of the candiru fish?
No.
So, the Amazon river is lousy
with these little candirus.
They have a tendency
to swim upstream
and are attracted
to human urine.
So, it swims into his urethra?
Did I tell you this one already?
No, Milo.
It's bullshit.
This is a myth.
I've read about it online.
You know what else he said?
He said his biggest mistake was
flying too close to the sun.
He should've just peed
in that little flowing stream.
He should've gone with the flow.
Got it.
I'm not trying to be
a dick here, Connor.
Okay, I'm trying to be
an honest and helpful voice.
Maybe the type of voice that Mom and
Dad never took the opportunity to give.
Did you tell Rebecca I said hi?
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Where the hell
are the goddamn guest towels?
Come in.
You guys look great.
And so do you.
You're... You're a ninja?
And, Dave, you're a hula girl?
No.
Vampire.
And you're a mom.
Someone's blind mom
who dresses herself
and doesn't wear bras.
Are you still coming with us?
Um, you know, I've got
a lot of other things
I really should be doing.
Would you like some company?
What?
Let's go.
I guess, good night. Yeah, you too, Mark.
Did you want the address
like just in case
you want come later? Mark, Uber's here.
Bye.
I'm free.
Guess what? What.
I shaved my legs for you.
So, who are you?
Orson.
We've done this before,
haven't we?
I know who you...
We've...
Drinks and sex, twice.
I meant, who are you dressed as?
I am Ashley North, the actress.
Do you mind?
That's a good one? Thank you.
I should probably--Do you wanna...
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Do you know anyone
who is looking for a roommate?
No.
Well, if you find out
about anyone.
Cool, yeah, definitely.
What about...
Sorry.
Um, just one more thing.
Know anyone with a coffee table
they're trying to get rid of?
I don't know anyone
with an extra coffee table.
Sorry.
They're weirdly expensive,
you know?
These people down the block
left theirs outside
all day yesterday,
and it's exactly
what I would want.
Take it.
Just steal a coffee table?
Do you do stuff
like that, Orson?
They left it there
for people to take.
People do that all the time.
Really? Yeah.
They're throwing it out.
Just take it.
You really can't afford
a coffee table?
I can't afford rent,
hence the need for a roommate.
I'd, I'd really like to
make it through my year lease.
What do you do again?
I'm a waitress.
Well, like really.
Your thing was acting?
Writing.
Well, lucky you.
I know people who like scripts.
Are you really a "producer"?
Or do you just tell
all the girls that?
Those finger quotes
hurt a little.
And you kinda
just answered my question.
Send me one of your scripts,
Ms. Writer.
Serious.
If it's good,
I want it.
Seriously?
Well, 'cause I'm working
on this great new script.
It's... I'm still
trying to find my end,
but thematically,
I already broke it.
It's about the struggles
of this young woman
and--.
Keep the wig.
So, she lives.
Did you freeze?
Nope.
Okay, good catching up.
What do you want me to say, Con?
You want me to apologize?
If you're offering.
Well, then, I'm sorry.
You're not very genuine.
Must be a bad connection.
Sofia.
Why should I apologize?
It was... It was rough, okay?
So, why should I say I'm sorry?
For abandoning me. Please.
It's not like I left you
on a stoop in a basket.
We were supposed to be a team.
We were gonna make it
or break it together.
I don't remember taking a vow. Well, I did.
Well, of course you did, Connor,
'cause you don't
half-ass anything, do you?
I tried it out
just like I said I would.
"Tried it out."
I'm so grateful
you were there, Con.
Okay, but you knew
this would happen.
I knew it.
After years of being
almost perfect for the role
I knew I wasn't an actor.
We're not cut out for this.
Yeah, I am actually.
Holy shit.
I'm sorry, Connor.
I know.
I'm sorry, too.
So, what're you working on now?
Actually, I think you'd
really like this one.
It's... It's about the
struggles of a young woman--
Car chase! My God, Dave.
Car chase! Car chase!
Car chase! Holy shit!
Is everything okay? Everything's amazing.
"Car chase," I said.
Don't you have a TV?
Yours is bigger.
Hi, Dave.
Have we met?
Jeez.
I've never seen the 405 so open.
This can't be
your first car chase.
What?
Is this your first car chase?
I haven't seen one live,
I guess.
This is the best reason
to live in L.A.
How have you missed this?
Okay, every couple of months
and adventures criminals
sacrifices next year or so
of their freedom
to entertain the entire city,
and like a cosmic gift
to the masses,
the freeways are wide open.
It's magic,
and I don't want anyone--
Okay, shut up.
I'm into it.
- If you're just joining us...
- Turn me around.
...we're bringing
these images to you live
from our traffic helicopter.
We have unconfirmed reports
that the driver
of this stolen sedan is,
bizarrely enough,
celebrity actress
Ashley North. Holy shit.
North has been involved
in a series
of embarrassing public exploits
over the past few months.
At the risk of editorializing,
I'd say we're witnessing
a downward spiral.
Stay with us
as this story unfolds.
Maybe she'll crash
into a library or something.
Do you think
she'll crash into a library?
I just want this to be on TV
all the time.
In a rush?
No.
I mean, we can if you want.
No, let's...
Let's chat first.
How're you doing?
How are things?
Great, actually.
I found my end.
I did it.-
I can't wait for you to read it.
It's gonna be, um...
It's great.
You're script?
Yeah.That's...
That's awesome.
That's really great to hear.
How are you doing?
You know, good.
Busy and, good.
Yeah.
You seem so happy.Yeah.
Things are just
feeling clearer, I guess.
So...
You wanna? Um...
I'm actually...
I don't know.
Give me a sec.
You
have reached a recording of my voice.
Leave a recording of your voice.
We're connecting.
Can you feel it?
This one's stupid.
Was this one stupid--
Milo, me again.
Mom's got me really
freaked out about you.
Would you please just call back
so I know you're not dead?
You know you could always
come here if you need to--
Merry Christmas.
Stop calling me.
Jesus Christ, Milo.
I love what you've done
with the place.
Is that single plastic snowflake new?
It really ties the room.
Where the fuck have you been?
The North Pole.
Can I get a glass? Milo.
I was at Mom and Dad's
for the holidays
and for the foreseeable future.
I was serious about
that glass, by the way.
I was at Mom and Dad's
and I had to leave,
because I didn't
feel so welcome anymore.
Milo, they've been
so stressed out.
Stressed out? Yeah?
I thought everything would be
hunky-dory after I left,
without all
the screaming and shit.
They haven't changed a bit.
What happened?
Same thing that always
happens, only now,
I don't have
the patience for it.
After the 18th and final
argument of the season,
I had to bounce.
I don't need to be parented.
I'm a grown-ass,
fucking adult man, okay?
And that's exactly why I stole
these out of their basement.
We haven't heard from you
in two days.
How did you get across
the country in two days?
Airplanes, Connor,
lots of airplanes.
I think I had a layover
in every state,
and apparently, Delta
has not been notified yet
of my reason separation.
So, I used all
of Rebecca's miles.
Boom. Jesus, Milo.
Why didn't you call someone?
Mom? Me?
I've been busy.
That's a dick move, man.Yeah.
You can't do shit like that.
Look, I know you're going through...
I know it,
but there's a lot of people
that give a shit, Milo.
I thought...
I'm sorry, Connor.
So, are you gonna help me
with the stuff or what?
Milo!
Could you maybe not? Well, I'm confused.
Connor, am I supposed to be
chipping in more around
the apartment or not?
I feel like we had
a very clear discussion--
Just later would be great.
What, are you crafting
the perfect status update?
I am trying to write.
I'm so close
to finishing this draft.
Hold my calls.
Hey, so who's this guy again?
Like a boyfriend?
He's really connected
and he's nice.
We're like friends. Gross.
Don't say shit like that.
I know what that means.
Don't be weird. You don't be weird.
Hey, what can I make tonight?
Bread.
What can you make?
I make a pretty mean
grilled cheese.
Usually a little overcooked.
You could put
some clothes on maybe?
How much time do I have?
Shit, 20 minutes.
Cool, I'll get ready in 19.
Milo.
What?
Orson, you'll have to excuse
my excessive drinking.
I'm going through a divorce,
and it's Christmas.
Sorry.
I like your tree.
I haven't bought one
in like six years.
So much work.
No, it's just a cheap
little plastic one.
So, Orson,
why aren't you with your
family for the holidays?
Are they as unstable
and self-absorbed as ours?
I, usually don't do
anything for Christmas.
So, thanks for the invite.
I actually kind of like L.A.
this time of year.
It's empty. Town of transplants.
You know,
people empty out at home.
So, Connor tells me
you're a producer.
What does that mean?
I'll let you know when I do.
That's funny.
I...
Make movies
and other projects happen.
I get shit done, I guess.
What kind of shit? Movies
and projects, Milo.
You don't...
He doesn't really know a lot
about the industry.
Orson's actually offered
to read one of my scripts.
That's pretty cool.
What'd you think of it?
t was great.
Way to go, Connor.
I, um...
I haven't...
I haven't given you anything.
I haven't given you
a script yet.
I've been working on it.
Well, I've read bits and pieces.
That makes sense.
Um...
No, you haven't.
Are you sure?
I know I've read
something of yours.
No, you haven't.
I've been way too terrified
to send you anything.
It's been kind of a thing.
You read
a lot of scripts, Orson?
From a lot of girls?
This glaze,
out of this world, Connor.
Are you a dick or an eccentric?
You see, I have so much trouble
telling apart the dicks
from the eccentrics
in this town.
Do you get into lots of fights?
No.
Not really.
Me either.
But still, you should probably
get out of my apartment
before I finish this glass.
Everything is over
And I'm feeling sad
I just lost the best pal
That I ever had
Is but four nights
Since she was here...
Good morning, honey.
Orange juice?
You just
brushed your teeth, didn't you?
I hate that.
We'll hold off.
Finally decided to get up
after all the cooking's done.
Arthur, leave her alone.
Teenagers are designed
to sleep in.
Right, Connor? Right, Mom.
I'm kidding.
She knows I'm kidding.
The economy.
So, checkout this alien brain
I found in the desert.
That's disgusting.Yeah.
Hey, Mom. Milo, Rebecca.
I didn't know you were coming.
Yes, this is a surprise, Mom.
This is what
a surprise feels like. Hi, Judy.
There's not enough food for you.
You should've called first. Dad.
Don't even worry about it,
old man.
We stopped on the way here.
You've already eaten?
You're not gonna eat?
I can make more.
Mom, we're fine.
Thank you, though.
God bless you.
Hey, Hollywood.
Connor wants a big migration.
We're still a few months away.
And we're
not talking about it. He's joking, dear.
Yeah, it's one of his famous
jokes, you know the kind
that sounds more like a threat.
It's very unsettling.
Mom, I promise you
we're not gonna eat anything.
There's plenty to go around.
Judy, just sit down already.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
The whole family's here, Arthur.
There's actually
a reason for that.
Yeah, that's right.
The temp agency
finally got me a job.
That's wonderful, honey.
There you go, Milo.
It's about time.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm proud of both of you.
Milo's finally getting
his life going.
Connor is making
an extremely brave move.
That's respectable.
It's noteworthy.
Dad. No, really.
Not everyone would do what you're
doing, kiddo, not at your age.
I didn't.
We're very proud of you.
No one's gonna get in
on those sausages?
That's disgusting.
Your mother
made that food to eat.
I already told her
we didn't want any,
so it'd be rude
not to play with it.
Can I have a grape?
How did you end up so stupid?
No, really. Don't just sit there
laughing like an idiot, Milo.
Tell me, why can't you
take anything seriously?
Why is everything
such a goddamn joke to you?
Come on, Dad.
My wife's here.
This is a surprise.
We've got news for you.
Your wife is here. Why
are you behaving like a child?
Playing with the food?
I don't understand you anymore.
Orson? Kinda.
I'm a mix of Orson
and that guy from Sum 41
you had a crush on
in high school.
See?
I'm wearing a tie as a belt.
That does something to me,
and I don't understand why.
It's all for you.
You deserve it.
You've got a lot of talent.
Really?
Yeah.
She fell asleep.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm feeling
really good about today.
How 'bout it?
Let's get right to it.
Ashley North is once again
our main talking point.
She's still trekking?
I can't believe it either.
Ashley North, really?
Ashley North, Ashley North
is on the Dr. Newton Show this week,
and she is telling all
about her recent struggles
with substance abuse.
More like struggles with drugs.
Yeah, why flower it up? She's a junkie.
Here's a clip.
I'm late for work.
So you turn off the TV?
God.
It's a beautiful day,
Of course it is.
Every day
is a fucking beautiful day.
Which, if you think about it,
kinda makes no day
truly beautiful.
Can you do something today? Like what?
Like look for a job?
I can't get a roommate
while you're here,
and you can't pay the rent
until you get a job.
Aren't Mom and Dad
still sending you checks?
Yes,
but how much longer
do you think they'll do that?
Look, just check
the Internet, okay?
You can use my computer.
Okay.
I'm locking the door.
I don't care.
What do you want?
Just returning this.
Why do you have that?
After your brother
had threatened to beat me up,
he made sure I took home
some leftovers.
Good guy.
He's an idiot.
I, I still haven't
read your script.
I'm sorry, but I haven't.
Don't be.
I still haven't sent it.
Yeah, you did.
This time I know you did.
I definitely did not send that.
Okay.
Listen, there's another reason
I wanted to stop by.
Out with it.
I don't like
where we left things.
Me neither.
And I don't like the idea
that you might think
I was using you or...
I don't think that.
I wouldn't let you use me.
Exactly.
And the fact that I even give
a shit what you think about me
is good.
I've talked it over
with myself a few times,
and I've decided
that I like you.
I don't want this to stop.
Orson.
Now I'm not being sweet
or earnest, okay?
Because I'm neither
of those things.
But I know what I want
and I want this.
But again, just to be clear,
no sweetness
or earnestness at all.
So, a movie sometime?
Yeah, yes, that's...
That's perfect.
Call me when you're free.
That'll take forever.
I am very busy, and I will
not be free until you call me.
Fine.
Bye.
Whoa. Hey, knock please.
I could have been...
My God.
This is all that I do.
Did you send my script to Orson?
That sounds
a little familiar, yeah.
God, Milo, what a...
Why? It wasn't...
I was working on it.
It seemed finished to me.
You read my script?
Yeah.
What? What did...
Did you like it?
Yeah, it was fine.
And you thought it was okay
to email a fine script
to a connection?
Yeah, relax. No, I won't.
You're fucking this all up.
Whoa, Connor. You know,
you just don't get
how this works.
You're on IMDb.
What? Yeah, I guess,
one of the PA gigs
you did last year went up,
and now you're, you're on IMDb.
How many degrees? What?
How many degrees?
Are you serious? Yeah.
All right.
Okay, this stunt guy...
To super...
to Kevin fucking Bacon.
And?
Twenty-eight.
Holy shit, 28?
Pretty...
It's pretty cool.
Twenty-eight? Twenty-eight?
Twenty-eight! Twenty-eight!
Twenty-eight! Twenty-eight!
Shut the fuck up!
Why are you so huffy? Huffy?
You seem grumpy.
Your hair looks
really nice today.
Thank you.
So you can't say it.
One hour to get to the airport,
Forty-five minutes circling
round and around LAX
and then two hours to get back
because you just had to stop
at the busiest In-N-Out
in this dimension.
This is long overdue.
Thanks for picking me up, Milo.
You're welcome.
Do you want to drink?
Nah, probably not.
I'm trying to score points
back with my best friend.
I don't want her to come home
and see us drunkenly making out.
Like you could
score with the Milostone?
No one calls you that.
It sounds like milestone.
That's barely a play on words.
Milo Ren.
Are you into Star Wars?
So how is she?
Well, is she all right?
I think you left a few things.
I swear to God,
he's like 300 pounds now
and way into trucks. My God.
I hate how happy that makes me.
Yeah, well, fuck her.
Serves her right for stealing
your boyfriend in school.
In the third grade.
In the third fucking grade.
I'm so glad you're still
kicking ass out here.
I wish you'd never left.
I got a part.
What? When?
Right after the headshots.
But I'd already
decided to move back home,
and I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I wanted to see my mom,
my family,
and I decided that I could be
happy working as a secretary
or in retail,
or trying to convince Jeffrey
to marry me and deport me
with his mysterious
contracting job.
Just coast through
the rest of my life.
'Cause after three years
of drowning in L.A.,
I decided these things
and it scared me.
Would that make me a failure?
Would it make me
as unhappy as my parents?
Are my parents even unhappy?
And then I got the phone call.
It was a real speaking part
and real pilot.
And all of a sudden,
all of these questions
that I was asking myself
were suddenly so much less scary
than saying yes
to the voice on the phone.
So, all because you are afraid?
No.
I was also pissed
and bored and tired.
And I just don't care
as much as you do, Connor.
I mean, what if I spent
the rest of my life
being that tired?
It's just not worth it.
You're stronger than me,
I guess.
I can't think of anything
scarier than doing what you did,
giving up.
You are going to be
amazing out here.
You already are.
And it's just going to
continue, I know it.
I know it, too.
You know,
when I was young
I was pretty sure
That if you knew
what I had
You would eat your words
Trying to see
what's in my hands
And all of my friends
that I've kept in my purse
Made me numb and stupid
But I kept to my own
And treat it
like it's medicine
Can I help you?
Did you read it?
Your script? Yeah
Hey. When did you read it?
Like a week ago, I guess.
And you didn't...
Did you hate it? I did not hate it.
We didn't talk about it after?
No.
Connor, I...
I really dug it, actually.
Really?
I was kind of obsessed
with it afterwards.
It's so funny and...
And it's so sad,
and the funny parts make
the sad parts way sadder.
It's one of those.
That's exactly
what I was going for.
I've been
telling people about it.
What? What people?
Other industry guys,
Indie guys mostly.
Why didn't you tell me?
I swear we talked about it.
No, it's...
It's really good.
Seriously, like,
like good enough to move forward
with these guys?
Don't get too worked up.
It's a long shot,
but I'm building
some excitement.
Don't get your hopes up, though.
I know who
I am, but it's not that.
I kind of feel like
it's all finally happening.
What did I just say?
Yeah, listen, man,
I wanna hear...
I wanna hear
more about this gig.
Um, is it something I could...
Is it possible to work remotely?
Who's that for? Hey, sign here.
Okay, cool. Sorry.
I'm asshole phone guy.
It's cool.
Um, so no wiggle room on that?
No, it's just that
I'm in L.A. with my...
Hey, I'll...
I'll call you right back.
Do you need something else?
Where did you
get that table, bro?
What table? Don't!
I know this
is my shit right here.
Seriously.
Where did you get this table?
I don't know, man,
but you can't just barge
into somebody's apartment.
I made this table
for my mama in shop class.
So, how the fuck did it
end up in your apartment?
Look, if you don't leave, I'm
gonna have to call the cops.
I'm sorry,
but, okay, no, no, stop it!
Okay, this isn't your table!
Man, this is my table.
No, it belongs to my sister,
and she's having
a really rough year.
Get outta here,
you little dumb fuck.
And all he took
was the coffee table?
Yeah, it wasn't really
like a robbery scenario.
I think it was legit his table,
like the pizza guy makes tables.
It was on the side of the road.
People do that all the time.
Are you sure you
didn't say anything to him?
Like what?
Were you drunk?
No, I wasn't drunk.
I wasn't drunk.
I can't handle you. Me?
How in any way is this my fault?
Ever since you got here,
it has been shitstorm
after shitstorm.
I forgot that you were queen
of Hollywood before I showed up.
How am I supposed
to get anywhere
if I have to keep
taking care of you?
What are you doing here, Milo?
Hanging out with my baby sister.
I'm not a...
Look, I'm really
struggling here, okay?
I can't keep watching your
life fall apart while I am
fighting to keep mine together.
My life's not falling apart.
Look, I need
to focus on my own shit,
and if that means not being
able to hold you up constantly,
then I need you
to stay out of my way.
Okay, Connor.
Where're you going? To my girlfriend's?
I didn't know
you had a girlfriend.
Yeah, well, you've been real
busy focusing on your own shit.
It's locked.
Bathroom?
Thanks.
Milo,
was that fucking Ashley North?
You know her?
Yeah, we got in pretty late last night.
Tried to be quiet.
Didn't wanna be
a burden.
- You're out of toilet paper
so I'm just gonna
drip-dry, okay?
Might be a sec, Milo.
Okay, sweetheart.
Thank you.
She really is down to earth.
Yeah.
All set.
Well, as predicted,
all we have
left in this apartment
is off-brand,
out-of-date cereal.
I'm gonna rollerblade on down to the taco
shop, get us some breakfast burritos.
You are so sweet. Stop it.
You're so sweet.
A kiss from Ashley North.
That's gonna last me all day.
Connor, right?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Um, am I like on some show
where celebrities
screw with regular people?
I don't remember
how Punk'd works.
You recognize me.
Yeah, I, yeah.
We don't have to sit here
if you don't want.
We can
sit on the couch too, also.
I'm good. Thanks.
So,
how exactly
did you meet my brother?
At a bar, few weeks back.
We've, met for drinks
a few times since then.
He just cares so much
about other people.
He's basically the opposite
of L.A. guys,
which is exactly
what I need right now.
I'm kind of being devoured.
Yeah. No, it's all over TV.
What happened?
I'm sorry, that's...
No, that's fine.
I used to be
a really good person.
Most people don't realize that.
How did you,
um, become an actress?
I moved out here when I was 16
and I dropped out
of high school,
hit the pavement,
took a bunch of shitty jobs.
Soon enough,
I got my first agent.
How long did that take?
Nine, ten years probably.
But...
Anyway, fast forward
to this whole overnight success.
Which took about
a thousand nights.
Yep.
And all that focus and drive
just wasn't all
that necessary anymore.
That whole struggle
really did a number, I guess.
Yeah, but, I mean,
you were pursuing your dreams.
Yeah, but you know,
that's what broken people do.
That's not true.
What's more selfish
than wanting to be happy
all the time
for the rest of your life?
We punish ourselves for years,
we call it
"paying our dues."
It's all so that
we can have a chance
at that light
at the end of the tunnel,
where everything
is just hunky-dory.
And it's not?
Life doesn't cooperate
like that.
You can't front-load
the shittiness.
What, so people shouldn't try?
People shouldn't feel guilty
for striving
to live their best life.
I mean, that can't be right,
can it?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
The more
I'm thinking about this,
the more pissed off I'm getting,
at you specifically,
for saying that.
I'm proud
of what I'm doing here.
My friends, my family
are all super proud of me.
Because not everyone
has the balls
to try and make something
of themselves.
Only... Only a big fish
in a small pond
is capable of transferring
to a bigger pond
or an ocean even,
if you don't
factor in the saltwater.
It's a messy metaphor.
Yeah, but I think it's fine
what I'm doing here, and, yeah,
I haven't finished a script
since I moved, and, yeah,
I hate the person
that I'm turning into,
but I've only scratched
the surface of this town
and if it breaks off
and falls into the ocean,
like they say it will,
I'm in deep enough
that it'll drag me
right down with it.
Not even a natural disaster
could break me free.
I thought
we were talking about me.
Burritos!
Were, Were
you guys talking about me?
Are you still awake?
When is it, okay for me
to stop playing it cool?
You've been playing it cool?
I want to ask you
about that script you read,
and how it's all going
with those Indie film guys,
but I don't wanna sound
overly eager, which is weird,
because we're like
in a relationship.
That is weird.
Of course.
Yeah?
How's it all going
with those Indie film guys?
It's a no-go, Connor.
Connor.
Hey.
I'm so sorry.
This just
happens sometimes.
Most of the time, actually.
Yeah.
Look, your script
went out there.
The guys just didn't connect.
That's still
a huge accomplishment.
You've only been here a
few years You got so close.
How could you not tell me?
"Nothing budged."
What kind of news
is that to hear?
Well, why didn't they like it?
Connor.
Tell me what they said
about my script.
Okay.
Carl, the producer of Rager,
that slasher series,
he said it didn't have
a question.
What does that mean?
I guess like a...
A central question.
You know? No, I don't know.
A mystery, a thesis
that keeps you turning
the pages, a question.
That's so dumb.
He produced those
fucking Rager movies!
What's he know?
If there is a character
that people can latch onto,
they'll wanna see
how it all works out.
It's about
the victories of humankind.
Carl's an idiot.
Well...
Nobody cares
about character, Connor.
People want a point of view.
People want thoughtfulness
and doubt,
not just mission accomplished.
This is exactly why I didn't want
to talk to you about this stuff.
Why is that?
We're talking about writing.
We're talking about craft.
This is good.
No, this actually kind of sucks.
Look, I asked you
for their notes,
and you're giving me
their notes,
I can take it.
You don't think
I'm a good writer.
Totally normal way
to receive notes, by the way.
I thought you could...
The whole point of this was...
Holy shit.
No--No, hey, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
I cannot believe
I did not see this coming!
Orson.
I was so worried
about your feelings.
I was so worried
that you thought
I was taking advantage
of you. Amazing.
I wasn't
taking advantage of you.
You are the fucking
worst of 'em, Connor.
You thought I was what?
An opportunity?
A fucking connection?
You actually think
you're a good person?
God, this town blows.
I know.
Bye, Connor.
You didn't get that shredder off
the side of the street, did you?
I don't think we're
supposed to be taking shit
off the side of the street.
No.
This was in my closet.
Connor, these are all scripts.
Do you have them backed
up on your computer or...
Yeah.
Fun.
When did I get so delusional?
Can't talk about that.
I'm shredding.
Mom and Dad were just always
pressuring me to be great.
I guess I felt like I had to be.
No.
Mom and Dad worshiped you.
They hung your participation
medals on the wall.
Not bitter.
They were supportive
of you, too.
It's like we grew up
in different households.
But again, I'm not bitter.
But if you're wondering
why you grew up
thinking you were capable
of great things,
it's probably
just because you are.
Probably.
How do you know?
You told me, you were six.
Is this the new one?
Yeah.
"Interior, editor-in-chief's
office, day."
Milo. What?
I never got a chance
to read the last scene.
"Articles and papers
clutter the desk.
"What a stark change
from Athena's first visit."
I've been meaning to tell you,
nobody's name is Athena,
and you can't call her that.
You sent my rough draft
to a producer,
and you didn't even
finish reading it?
We're way past that, Connor.
Can you read for Athena, please?
You're such a dick.
I'll be the editor.
"You've had a great run, Athena,
"but we just can't
overlook this controversy.
"The sight
can't take the hint."
"But, Mr. Plummer..."
that's a wonderful read.
You're really good at this.
"But, Mr. Plummer,
you don't understand."
"No buts, Athena,
we love your work,
"and we love
having you on the team,
"but the world of fashion
journalism isn't always fair.
"That's a harsh reality, and I'm
glad you're hitting on that."
Okay, it sucks.
Let's stop.
"The world isn't always fair.
"You're young so you might not
have gotten that memo yet."
"I know more than you
give me credit for."
"That's exactly right.
"You are smart.
"You are special, Athena."
So, fuck this place.
Fuck this journalism
fashion place.
That's not in there.
Change it.
Okay, but I worked
really hard on this.
So, can you please
stick to what's on the page?
Connor, it's great.
You're great.
Today's the day. For what?
Bibimbap.
That place by Ralph's
is closing in a month,
and I think this is our window.
Okay.
But can we Google
what the fuck that is first?
Yes. Yes, please.
I've got allergies
to worry about.
See, when I was a kid,
we'd probably have to
Google it before we left.
But with your little smartphone,
we can do it on the way. You're so old.
Connor?
You guys?
Orson might still
have the one I emailed him.
I could check in if you want.
Detective Simmons was nice.
I liked his tie.
Connor?
Yeah.
This is a mess.
It's like some sort
of natural disaster came in.
Where are you going?
There's another suitcase
in the closet.
You know what?
I'm good, actually.
I'm serious, Milo.
Yeah, so am I.
But I can help you pack,
you know.
Hurry up. You're trying
to leave tonight?
Come on.
Well, I was driving west
In the middle of June
And gonna see some family
And forget about you
And I heard you singing
On the radio
It sounded like a tune
that I had written...
Okay.
Um, so, make sure you call the
landlord about that leaky faucet.
Yeah, I'm on it. It's
completely going crazy.
Okay, um,
the keys to the mail room--
Are on the kitchen counter.
You've told me
like three times already. Okay, okay.
Um, rent is due
on the first and...
Just give me
a little bit of credit,
just the littlest bit of credit.
I'm an adult.
I'm an adult man. I'll try.
Where is the mail room again?
My, Milo--
I'm fucking with you.
God, get out of here.
I'm tired of you.
And I love you. I love you, too.
Drive safe. I will.
Don't tell Mom
where I'm staying.
Okay, deal.
The pavement on the ground
decided to swallow me up
And you just
took off running
And you let me go
And I've been here
all alone
Yeah, I've been stuck
here in some kind of a
California sinkhole
Yeah, I've been stuck
here in some kind of a
California sinkhole
Got to drop that
and look at me
Drawn up in your old ways
and your mind games
That we'll set free
Pull me closer
to the edge with you
Pull me closer as we
float through the room
Don't pay attention to
the other half of you
Are you lost
in those words you said?
Can't get enough of you
After all that
we've been through
Some days
you just don't forget
Tryin' hard to...