Thunder and Lightning (1977) Movie Script
Oh here she comes.
Here she comes.
- We throwin' a lot of puke?
- Uh, no.
No more than usual.
Relay's workin' fine and dandy.
She's goin'.
See can she hold a bead.
Look at this.
Whoa, ho.
This looks like the best batch
we've made yet.
Gonna spread happiness!
Let's have a little smell here.
Ooh. Oh, boy.
Don't shake 'er no more.
There's too much blubber.
Look at that.
Regular goose eye.
Mornin', boys.
- Nice to see you.
- Either one of you rest home rejects...
as much as sticks
a finger up his nose...
that's all she wrote, boys,
good-bye.
I told you fellas last week,
I ain't doin' no business with Hunnicutt.
- Don't rile 'em now, Hobe.
- Ohh!
Yeah, don't you rile us none.
Best take his advice, old man...
unless you want to end up
food for the buzzards.
Right nice little operation
you boys got going here for yourselves.
- Times are changin', boys.
- Oh, me.
Ain't no more room left
for the independents.
- Jim Bob!
- Yeah?
Get 'em over behind them trees
before we end up all lookin'...
- like a Chinese blue plate special.
- Come on, pappy.
Move it out. Let's go.
- Get out of here. Come on.
- Dadgummit, my foot's gone to sleep.
Get out of my way!
Holy shit!
Ooh.
Harley! Harley, boy! Over here!
- That you, Hobe?
- Yeah.
Over here by the big cypress tree.
Yeah. Oh!
They got us hog-tied
good and proper, man.
So hurry up.
Never been through nothin' like this
before in my entire life.
It's miserable.
Just miserable.
Whats the matter with your brother?
He all right?
He's just asleep, is all.
He can sleep standing up.
- Asleep?
- Hurry up and get me out of this.
Feels like I been tied up
here forever.
- My joints are gettin' old and stiff.
- Who done this to you, anyhow?
Oh, them boys that work for Hunnicutt.
I recognized one of them.
He come over here last week,
offerin' me free sugar.
Hey, wake up, brother.
You're a free man again.
Hey, no, no!
Don't let 'em-
Oh. Hi, Harley.
- Ain't it a shame what they done to us?
- Plumb awful, Taylor.
Worse than that. You Know,
we had the second batch just started...
and it was comin' just as clear
as branch water.
And when I think of that good whiskey...
gettin' blowed all to smithereens,
it makes me want to cry.
- What about this week's load?
- Oh, she's safe, Harley. She's safe.
I moved her last night
down to the shed...
- so you can pick up your load.
- Okay. To the shed?
- Yeah.
- Oh, Christ! Come on!
- Come on.
- Hey! Hey, boy, easy. You're liable to pull me apart.
Come on, Taylor. We gotta get there
before they steal the whole load.
You boys aren't ready
for a wheelchair yet, are you?
Just pretend you're practicing
for that three-legged race...
at the Senior Citizens' picnic.
I'm gonna need a transfusion
before this is over.
Things was peaceful around here
before you come.
Lord! You don't have
to go so fast, Harley.
You'll live to be a hundred yet.
I tell ya, if the Lord had wanted a man
to get places fast...
he'd have started him closer
to where he was goin'.
We ain't gonna have to do
no more runnin', are we, boy?
Shh. Keep it quiet.
Damn.
- Listen, now many cases were you settin' out for me?
- Nine.
Six.
This is probably their last load.
Hold on, boys.
I'm not gonna let them get
that whiskey for free.
- Hey, Jake.
- Yeah?
You think old R.J. needs
all this here good stuff?
I thought maybe we could have a snort
when we was finished loadin'.
Yeah. Them Carpenter brothers
are all right.
Make the best corn whiskey
in the whole state.
Think I hear somebody comin'.
Yeah!
We didn't even get a taste.
Just stop feelin' so plain sorry
for yourself.
Are we gonna tromp
that son of a bitch?
We're gonna sink his ass.
Well, son,
that was quite an experience...
but I want you to know
that I'm walking from now on.
Yeah, boy. Besides, he travels fastest
who travels alone.
Bye.
I'm gonna stomp you!
Aw, shit.
He's got no way out.
Let's us get him!
Wickedness and corruption, brothers-
they'll wind about you
like the coils of a serpent.
Hey, I told you to watch the car,
not sit on it.
- Go on, get off. Here.
- Their fangs are jagged and they're sharp...
and they'll close about you
like the jaws of the old devil himself.
The great dragon was thrown out.
That ancient serpent...
the lion we named devil
and Satan.
But some were not cast down,
my friends.
They remain close
to the Lord and his Word.
They were not beguiled
by temptation.
For the forked tongue of the serpent
is quick as lighting.
Just you watch
the snake's tongue a-flickering...
like the very candle flame
of wickedness...
Then you'll know how easy
Eve was beguiled.
He bamboozled Eve, brothers.
He bamboozled Eve
into eating that forbidden fruit.
Just as sweet and civil
as an old carnival pitchman.
Hey, Nancy Sue.
What, are you mad at me,
or just plain deaf?
No, I'm not deaf, Harley.
You're late again.
Said you'd be back
a long time ago.
Besides that,
I don't want to talk in church.
Why not?
Everybody else is.
Harley, these good people
are possessed by the Holy Spirit.
It looks to me more like they're possessed
by about four quarts of moonshine.
Oh, Harley, please don't be
disrespectful in church.
Just look at the Reverend Wilcox
down there, wrestling with the demon.
Now, isn't he plumb beautiful?
He's a lot better lookin'
than the gator, that's for sure.
Oh, Harley,
your soul'll rot in hell...
for that kind of talk.
- It ain't no sin tellin' the truth.
- Don't squeeze me in church.
Yeah!
The serpent is cunning, my children.
It's his, all right.
Son of a bitch.
Friends, beware that wicked,
cursed serpent.
Brother, you wrestle with him
all your days.
For the power of the Lord
is righteousness, brother...
And the pure of heart
will triumph over sin.
Amen!
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Have a good day.
We enjoyed the sermon,
Reverend Wilcox.
Hey.
Harley, I don't even know
why I talk to you...
acting like that-
so disrespectful in church.
It's bad enough,
you being a bootlegger...
without adding blasphemy
to your sins.
I just wish you'd talk to Daddy
about getting a job at the plant.
I'll talk to him...
but not about no job.
Look, there's Uncle Jake.
I thought he was a Baptist.
Wonder why he's so wet.
I guess it's 'cause
he got baptized.
- Hi, Uncle Jake.
- Hi, Nancy Sue.
Well, uh, I thought
you was a Baptist.
Well, I am, Nancy Sue, but...
you know, it never hurts
to get another point of view.
Yeah. Harley, this is Mr.
Jake Summers...
My daddy's foreman
down at the plant.
Harley Thomas, my fianc
Uncle Jake.
- Howdy, Uncle Jake.
- My pleasure.
Sure was a rip-snorter of a sermon,
wasn't it?
Very educational.
Just as slick
as spit on a griddle...
way he told you how,
if you do bad things...
you're just gonna be down there
in the muck and the slime...
along with all the other
cold-blooded critters that crawl.
Yeah, well, you do
have to watch yourself
I mean, you lie down with snakes,
you're liable to get bit.
Harley. Now, you take care
of yourself, Uncle Jake.
- I will, honey.
- And remember me kindly to Aunt Vee.
- Yes; ma'am.
- You have a nice day.
- You too.
- Bye!
- Bye, now.
- Bye.
Bye, now. Bye-bye.
Harley, I wish you'd just see Daddy
and talk to him about a job at the plant.
You can catch Daddy tonight...
at his meeting
of the Soldiers for Civic Improvement.
- Soldiers for what?
- Soldiers for Civic Improvement.
Excuse me, sir.
One of you guys tell me
where I can find R.J. Hunnicutt?
What do you want
to do that for, boy?
We got something a lot better
to look at here.
You having trouble with your eyes?
No, I appreciate the back street ballet
as much as any feller.
This is business.
Seeing as how it's business,
old R.J. is over there at the center table.
He'll give you the business,
all right.
R.J. Hunnicutt?
Hey, sonny, you come here...
with your tail
between your legs?
Looks like I've more between my legs
than you'll ever muster up, old man.
Well, it's what's up on top
that counts, boy.
That's why you're never gonna be nothin' more
than a pissant grease monkey.
R.J., you shouldn't talk like that
about a prospective son-in-law.
Son-in-law? Boy, you ain't fit to haul
my daughter's garbage.
Your prospects begin and end up
at the relief office.
Well, listen, only reason I came down here
is to tell you something...
about dynamite.
It's just like lightning-
it can strike just as easy...
in town as it can
in the country.
Okay?
- Vassar.
- Oh, Vassar.
Now, Vassar's just a little bit too pinko
for my taste, Elma.
Besides, Wellesley's more-
more high class.
Bryn Mawr
is very high class, dear.
Why, Katherine Hepburn
went to Bryn Mawr.
Oh, is that so?
Well, uh-
It's closer to home, yeah.
How much is the tuition
over there?
Five thousand,
four hundred and fifteen dollars.
Well, don't that seem
a little mite steep to you?
I mean, you gotta multiply that figure
by four to get the annual package rate.
Is this a business deal
we're talking about...
- or your daughter's education?
- Elma, nothin' is too good for my little Nancy Sue...
and I would pay any tuition
any college asked...
if she would give up that damn fool idea
of being an airline stewardess.
Why, that's just a phase all girls
go through, wanting to travel.
If that girl would just settle down,
I'd plumb be in hog heaven.
Ralph?
Ralph Junior?
Are you all right?
I think I bit my tongue.
All units in the vicinity
of Okachobee Lane...
and Apalacca Road...
we need some assistance
for a blown-up vehicle totally destroyed.
It's now being towed away
from the victim's residence.
And boy, is it a mess.
Mr. Ralph Hunnicutt Jr?
- It's Ralph Junior Hunnicutt sir.
- All right.
What can I do for you, sir?
Are you with the police?
Me? I look like a cop?
The front office sent me down
to keep an eye on distribution.
Well, now, why didn't you say so
in the first place?
Come on right in here, sir.
You're certainly welcome in my home.
Well, thank you very much.
It looks like you had a little bit
of excitement around here last night.
You could say the car overheated
just a touch.
Say, I hope I haven't done nothin'
to make you folks unhappy with me.
No, no. Not at all.
But let me tell you somethin'.
If our people had been behind
that explosion...
you'd have been
behind the wheel.
Looks like you have enemies
right here at home.
Well, I do believe I can take care of them
all by myself, sir...
as long as everything's okay
with Mr. Profficcione.
Yeah. Well, Uncle Angie wants me to see
the operation just as soon as possible.
Tell me, whatever happened to Leon?
- Fella whose place I'm taking?
- Yeah, Leon Dante.
He was here about five years.
- Did you people give him a promotion?
- No, not exactly.
- Well, where's he at, then?
- Well, let's just say...
- he went on a Caribbean cruise and forgot to take the boat.
- I see.
Come on, son.
Wet your whistle.
- What's in it, booze?
- Oh, heck no. That's Honey Dew.
Finest soft drink
the South has.
Tastes like chicken livers.
When do you bottle up the moonshine?
That's at night,
after the day crew goes home.
- That's pretty clever.
- Oh, yeah, it's been workin' pretty good so far.
I tell you, the finest scotch whiskey
in the world don't get no better treatment.
We've had some reports of
some rotgut being out on the streets.
Front office doesn't like it.
Now, I'd, uh-
I'd hate to see you miss the boat.
You know what I mean?
You could not be more eloquent, sir.
No. Maybe you'd like
to come along with me...
and take a look
at some of our stills.
Oh, that's a great idea-
because I'm here to see
the whole thing.
Boys? Hey, y'all.
Good to see you keeping so busy.
Say hey now to Mr. Volpone.
He come all the way down
from New York City...
just to see our little business here.
If there's anything you don't understand,
you just holler, you near?
- Be glad to set you straight.
- Much obliged, R.J.
Let's have a look in that drum.
Bringing that damn Yankee down here,
slow up all my production...
and he don't know shine
from Shinola.
Hey, Rainey, you in charge
of this operation aren't you?
- That's right. Built it all myself.
- Well.
- Tell me, what is this shit?
- Well, I got this out of my '47 Dodge pickup.
It works a slight better
than a regular one.
But it's a little mite dirty, ain't it?
- I flush her out real good.
- Hey, you. Filthy.
- What the hell is this?
- You got yourself a regular auto supply store, don't you?
Fella told me if I put a 12-volt
in the mash, it'd cure twice as fast.
You're supposed
to be making whiskey, asshole.
What the hell's the matter with you?
Where's the rest of that stuff, Rainey?
- Over yonder in them drums.
- How much of that popskull did you make?
Ain't no more than five,
six hundred gallons.
- We been workin' less than a month.
- Jake.
You out of business, Rainey.
You can go back to swabbin' toilets.
Finish it off, Jake.
Oh, come on!
Well, there won't be no more rotgut
coming out of here, Mr. Volpone.
Front office, R.J., is gonna be real happy
to hear this.
- Hiya, Tommy Lee.
- Well, howdy, Thomas.
I just about give up on you
for the day.
- Well, I had some problems.
- What kind of problems?
Oh, business problems.
Worst part of it is, I guess I'm not gonna
be able to make my deliveries this week.
Well, it's just as well, Harley.
Fact is,
I'm not gonna be able...
to deal with you no more
from now on.
Just 'cause I missed
this one delivery?
Hey, I promise I ain't never
gonna miss any more.
I know you won't, but...
thing is, I already got myself
another distributor.
Shit you say.
And who might that be?
- I reckon you know who it is.
- I reckon I do.
No hard feelings.
It's just business is all.
Yeah, I guess a man's gotta take care
of his own interests, don't he?
I'm glad you're taking it
that way, boy.
- Have a beer?
- Oh, no, thanks.
Just remember,
you lie down with dogs...
you're liable to wake up
with fleas.
Hold on a second, hoss.
I got something to say to you.
- Nothin' you can say that I wanna listen to.
- Oh, I doubt that.
Knock hell out of him, Bubba.
Hey, asshole.
Knock off the kung fu shit.
Ow!
Good luck, Bubba.
Let's get this son of a bitch
in the truck.
I reckon I slowed him down
a little too much.
Dropped like a treed Coon
hit by lightning, didn't he?
Yeah, baby. Here.
He's kind of cute.
- Yeah.
- Let's go. Let's go.
Hey, Bubba,
let's take this son of a bitch...
down to the swamp
and go fishin'.
- Want to?
- Yeah. Think they're gonna be bitin'?
They'll be bitin' like hell
once they get a taste of him.
Whee!
Aah! Oh! Come on, get him! Grab his foot!
- I've-I got him.
- Hold him!
All right, Bubba!
What the hell are you doing?
Get out of here.
Come on!
I don't believe this.
I don't believe this at all.
And there they go!
And there they go!
Hey!
Sorry I'm late, honey. I got
in some trouble, and I couldn't call you.
- What do you mean? Are you all right?
- Sure, I'm okay.
Ooh. You just been out roughhousing
and carrying on and all.
And just never mind
if you keep me waitin' half the day.
- Hey, it wasn't my fault. If you just let me explain.
- I don't want you to explain.
You been in nothin' but trouble
ever since you got here.
I didn't start the fight, you know.
It just crept up on me by itself.
Well, it wouldn't have come
creeping up on you by itself..
If you didn't hang around
with all that trash...
and all those lowlife friends of yours down
at the Cloverleaf and the Ten and a Half.
For your information,
I ain't been in the Cloverleaf all day.
It don't matter which cesspool
you waller in. It stinks just the same.
- You trying to tell me I smell bad?
- Yeah.
Being a bootlegger stinks.
It's a low-down thing to do,
and it ain't ft for nothin' but scum.
Is that right?
Well, let me tell you somethin',
Miss High and Mighty.
Turns out your daddy is the biggest,
baddest bootlegger in these parts.
So if you're just talking about
trash you're looking for...
you don't even have to go
out of your own house to find it.
Hey, wait a minute.
You wait a minute.
Let me tell you somethin', Harley Thomas.
You are about the lowest thing that crawls.
Next to you, a cottonmouth rattlesnake
is walkin' tall.
Yeah, well, listen,
before you start calling people names...
maybe you better go around
to your father's bottling plant...
sometime in the night
and smell it.
It'll curl your hair plenty.
Oh, he did it, folks! He did it.
By God, he did it!
Shee! Man!
That is the best corn
I've ever tasted.
Yeah? Then you better savor
every snootful of it.
That's the last cork
'tween us and the Temperance Society.
Boys, we'll have another run
by the end of the week. You'll see.
- Wouldn't count on it, Harley.
- Why not?
I told you I'd stake you
for the copper tubing.
Shouldn't take us more than a couple of days
to cut it and shape it.
- Yeah, but that ain't exactly the problem.
- Well, what is?
- Sugar.
- Sugar?
Yeah, the Feds are keeping track
of them that's buying large amounts.
I can get you all the sugar
you can use.
- Free of charge too.
- How you gonna manage that, boy?
Well, look.
You take some of that Honey Dew soda pop...
and put it on the hood of your car,
and what happens?
It eats the paint right off it.
You know why?
'Cause it's 99 % sugar-
Hunnicutt sugar.
No, no. I don't want any truck
with that kinda stuff.
Hey, if the bee's gonna sting,
you got a right to his honey, don't you?
Yeah, but Harley boy, that beehive
might turn out to be a hornet's nest.
Aw, come on.
Don't you want to see Hunnicutt get his?
- Don't you?
- Way we figure, if you just sit on the bank long enough...
the body of your enemy
will come floatin' on by.
Taylor, now come you never play
but one string on that instrument?
Just got one bow.
Listen, you boys better
just get yourselves together...
and get up the road,
get ahold of that copper...
'cause we're gonna be
back in business.
That-a-boy, Scooter.
Just about ready, Jake.
All right, button it up.
About it, R.J.
How much of this week's load is bad?
I figure most of this week's shipment
is probably poison.
- Oh, shh.
- Way I see it, we ought to dump...
- the whole goddamn thing in the river.
- Hell, no.
I got too much money
sunk in that.
Besides, it'll just play hell...
with the whole production schedule.
Besides, we got the rotten spot
took care of.
Who gives a damn if a couple of niggers
up north get the bellyache?
- She's loaded and ready, Jake.
- Okay, boss.
Scooter! Highball that load.
Yes, sir!
I gotta drive up
to Palm Beach tonight.
I have a business meeting
tomorrow morning...
so I need you guys to take me home
to get the station wagon.
All right.
Harley!
Harley, you were right about Daddy.
He's a crook.
Harley, why don't you answer me?
I know you're in there.
Well, the boss is on his way.
Hey, Jake,
let's stop and get some coffee.
Coffee, shit.
You just want to see that big old waitress.
Got no time for that.
We gotta get back and watch that plant.
Don't move, you son of a bitch,
unless you want a bellyful of buckshot.
Goddamn, Harley!
- Get your gun.
- Whoa, now.
- All right, all right.
- This son of a bitch moves, you blow his head off.
You know what let's do?
Let's make this son of a bitch
carry all them sacks back by himself...
All at one time.
We'll give him a touch of this gun butt
every time he stumbles.
- I like your sense of fun Jim Bob.
- Yeah.
I truly do.
The boss is gonna want everything
just the way it is.
That way,
the evidence is gonna be there.
Then when we shoot this thieving bastard,
out next to his car-
- Caught in the act, you might say.
- Yeah.
What do you think about that,
maggot face?
I think you can take your-
I hope you try and run, boy. I want to see
what kind of pattern this thing throws.
That ought to do the trick.
You won't go nowhere, will you? Smartass?
On your feet, ass wipe.
Just take it slow and easy.
Else you don't get no chance
to say your prayers.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, goddamn it.
That's right, bunny rabbit.
Now I got you,
you son of a bitch.
- Hey, Jake.
- Yeah?
- Come and look what I got.
- You say your prayers, 'cause I'm gonna be back...
to really tuck you in for the night, baby.
Regular spitfire, ain't she, Bubba?
I'm goin' home right now, you hear me?
I'm goin' 'home right now! You let me down.
Best thing'd be to keep her here
till her daddy gets back tomorrow.
That way maybe he can pound some sense
into her head.
You ain't gonna keep me here!
I'm going home right now, do you hear me?
I'm going home right now!
Now, little girl,
I used to bounce you on my knee.
Now, why don't you do
your Uncle Jake a favor, huh?
Be nice and quiet and cooperative.
If you don't turn me loose
I'll scream so loud...
they'll hear me clear to Tallahassee.
Help!
Help! Help!
Now, you see, you shouldn't ought
to have done that.
That stuff's gonna leave a rash,
and your boyfriend won't want to kiss you.
You be good now,
won't you, sugar pie?
I want you to take turns
keeping an eye on that girl.
I don't want you to let her
hurt herself or nothin'.
I'm goin' back down and keep an eye
on our friend.
Bubba, you take first watch.
Jim Bob, now you go back down to that caf
and get us some hot coffee, huh?
Better take this,
in case he gets all worked up.
Worked up, huh?
He ain't gonna get worked up.
No, sir.
He ain't gonna get worked up,
'cause I'm goin' down and sing him a lullaby.
On your feet,
you stinkin' sack of snake shit.
Drop your pants.
You gotta be funnin'.
There's a lady in here watchin' us. -
Yeah, well, she can turn her head
if your undies are too dirty.
Come on, quick, before I unbutton your fly
with hot lead.
You gotta be plumb crazy.
Now get over there in the comer.
Quick, now.
This is plumb foolish.
I want you to lie down on the floor
on your belly.
- Put your hands behind you.
- You ain't gonna get away with this.
You just watch me
and see if I don't.
Get 'em back there.
You just hold tight, honey. I'll have you
freed quicker than a mule can spit.
Okay.
Hey.
- Boy, am I ever glad to see you.
- Hey.
Oh.
Have I got a rash
on my mouth?
Not that I can see.
Prettiest mouth in creation.
Let me take care of this tub of chitlins...
and we'll get the hell out of here.
Roll over, kid.
Hey, well, what you gonna do to me?
Watch and see, baby Bubba.
Ohh!
Oh, hey!
Hey!
Let me down from here!
We gotta find some way to shut him up.
- Huh?
- Come here.
Sorry about this.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Is that all you ever think of?
Just hold your horses.
Let me down from here,
you son of a bitch.
You ain't gonna
get a way with this.
Here, suck on this,
and your dreams'll come true.
Okay?
- Where's your car?
- Up front, but they took the keys.
- Well, better take mine.
- Right.
Get in there
and wait for me.
What are you doing?
Loose lips sink ships.
The boys won't be following us too quick.
Harley, you were right about my daddy.
- He's a bootlegger, just like you said.
- Uh-huh.
Only his whiskey's no good.
It's poison.
Anybody who's ever drunk
your daddy's popskull moonshine knows that.
Give a man a headache
lasts for a week.
No, this is worse. I mean it's real poison.
It could kill people.
Whole truckload of it
went out tonight...
bottled up to look like Honey Dew.
Harley, we gotta find that truck
and stop it.
Well, which way
is this truck headed?
It went north, toward Homosassa Springs.
That's the usual route.
That's just the other way
from where these old fellas live.
- Well-
- Well-
Yeah, I guess I can just stash that
hot honey under a bush someplace...
and we'll just run 'er right down.
Sorry I'm late.
I got to messing around with that
big old waitress over there and, uh-
Good Lord, Bubba.
You look like a hog at sticking time.
Before I knowed it,
he had a gun on me.
Never heard him comin' or nothin'.
Jake ain't gonna like this one bit.
Howdy, Jake.
What, did you expect them
to wait for us?
- Dirty little bastards.
- Hey, Jake. Looky here.
Looks like that old boy
done sprung a leak.
Well, shit fire
and save matches.
Boys, I do believe we're in luck.
- Be easier than tracking a three-legged Coon.
- That's just what I was thinking.
You and Bubba, you get after him.
Come on.
I gotta get my ass
down to Palm Beach...
and tell old R.J. about
what the hell's going on down here.
But when I get back, baby...
we gonna take old Harley boy's ass
and we goin' in that swamp.
Keep your eyes peeled for sugar.
Hey, there's a pile up ahead there
at the intersection.
Looks like he turned left on 41.
Oh, when I get that Harley,
I'm gonna ram his teeth...
down his throat
with this here 12-gauge.
We ought to break his fingers,
one at a time.
Yeah, and stick lit cigarettes
in his ears.
Let's get a move on.
Hold your horses, honey.
I gotta take a leak first.
Oh, Harley,
sometimes I wonder about you.
Well, you could turn around,
you know.
I'm not selling tickets
for a show.
Ah. I ain't interested
in no show.
Hey, what's that light
down there?
It's them. I'd know that '57 Chevy anywhere.
- They must've broke down.
- What's he doin'?
I don't know, but they sure as hell
ain't gonna get away this time.
- Hey!
- Aim for his tires!
It's them! They come after us!
- Get in!
- Shoot the shit out of them, Bubba!
Whoo!
Don't flood it.
Just sit tight, will you?
I don't need advice
on how to start my own car.
Why don't you keep this junk pile
tuned up?
You say one more mean thing about my car,
and you can just get out and walk.
- She is tuned up. She's just temperamental-
- Let's get out of here!
...like some other people that I know.
Harley!
- What the shit?
- The engine's on fire.
- We ain't got no more power.
- Tromp on it, tromp on it.
Goddamn car
is the biggest piece of shit.
It just ain't fair,
when we was so close.
We're not crying "uncle" yet.
What you gonna do,
catch 'em on foot?
What, did you take a correspondence course
to figure it out?
The girl's Corvette's parked back at the plant,
and you got the keys, ain't you?
- Sure, I do.
- Well, give 'em to me.
- Huh?
- Come on, Bubba. Give me the damn keys.
That Corvette's the fastest set of wheels
in five counties.
Ain't no way they can get away from us on
this road, man. It runs all the way to Ochopee.
Well, how you gonna get
that Corvette here? Whistle for it?
- Lester.
- Hey, Lester!
Hey, Lester, we need a ride into town.
I ain't allowed to pick up passengers
with the city's truck.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we'll see about that. Huh.
Just hold it right there, Lester.
If you shoot me,
you ain't just shooting another nigger.
You shooting a public service man.
If you was in
the public service business-
Ain't none of your damn business
what kind of business we in.
Uh, listen here, Lester.
Either we're gonna give you a bottle
of that real good stuff you know we got...
or we're gonna stomp you.
Well, I'll go along with that, but I got
a lot to do, and I got places to go.
Look, we're gonna be
behind ourselves.
We got all mornin'
to pick up that copper tubing.
Back in the saddle again.
- Jesus.
- Yahoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Well, I am in hog heaven.
You wouldn't want to make
a little side bet...
on this next hole,
would you, Senator?
Right now I'm concerned
about another little gamble.
Well, you've got nothing
to worry about.
It's all goin' fine and dandy.
That's not how I've been hearing it, R.J.
I've been getting reports
of poison whiskey...
from certain parties
up north.
Now, it's one thing to be mixed up
in a little moonshine.
Might even win me a few votes,
if word was to get out.
But rotgut-
that's another matter entirely.
Well, you can breathe easy
on that score, Senator.
This has all been taken care of.
Now, uh, we did have
one dirty producer...
who was maybe turning out
some bad whiskey...
but he has been located
and shut down.
So believe me when I tell you
that every single ounce of our stuff...
is A-number-one clean
from start to finish.
It's true then,
about the rotgut?
Well, there may have been one or two
contaminated loads got out on the street...
but what the hell, it all went straight
on up to New York City...
and who gives a shit if a couple
of Harlem coons kick the bucket, huh?
- Get Hunnicutt.
- We'll get right on it.
You are on it.
We've been keepin' an eye on him,
just like you said.
- I want blood, Rudi.
- Look, it-
It's as good as done, huh?
- But clean, quiet.
- Absolutely.
- Get on it, Rudi.
- Right.
- I'm in a bad mood, Rudi.
- Listen, do me a favor.
Give my best to little Dominic.
And the twins, huh?
- Can it, will ya?
- Yeah.
Wish Gladys a happy anniversary for me.
- Get on it, Rudi.
- Fine.
- Two ears and a tail. Two ears and-
- Good-bye.
Hey, Carl.
- Yeah?
- Get your ass in gear.
We gotta go do
a little job.
Yeah, I heard.
Who's the contract for, Rudi?
Hunnicutt.
- That's nice.
- I never liked that "son of a-bitch" myself.
He's gonna be
at the golf course till noon.
I'm gonna go rent some clubs.
You have everything ready
when I get back, you hear?
- Long range?
- Two, three hundred yards.
Hey, Carl.
Just like hunting antelope-
only bigger.
- Harley, quick, pull in. I see it.
- See what?
The Honey Dew truck's parked
over yonder by the Winn-Dixie.
- You're sure that's the one?
- Of course I'm sure.
- I seen it leave last night.
- You're the boss, babe.
Well, the driver ain't here.
What do you want to do now?
Timber!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Hey! Trash can's over there!
Hey! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
- My Lord. That ain't Scooter.
- iPolica!
Hey, that's the first time I ever heard
a moonshine hauler holler for the cops.
That's 'cause that ain't the one.
That's a different driver.
Harley, I'm terribly sorry.
Don't fret your head about it, honey.
Your daddy's soda pop
is damn near poison as it is.
Figure we did folks a favor,
busting up some of it.
You ever watch
Captain Kangaroo?
- Captain who?
- Captain Kangaroo.
- You know, in the morning, on television?
- That's a kiddie show, isn't it?
- Well, yeah, sort of.
- I don't get it.
I mean, what's a grown man like you doing
watching a kiddie show?
My pre-schooler, Judy,
she likes to watch it.
You know, and when I'm not on a job,
I watch it with her sometimes.
It's a good show for kids, Rudi.
It's very gentle. No violence.
- Carson's all I ever watch.
- Yeah?
Well, I really hate
all that violence on TV.
The starter said
they would be on the 16th.
Now, they can't be much further than this.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah.
There they are.
Hey, It's a perfect setup.
Nobody else around.
Should I waste 'em both, Rudi?
Naw, just Hunnicutt.
Hey, you're lucky he's the big one.
Makes a much better target.
This baby'll stop a charging rhino
at 400 yards.
Well, what we got here
is more like a lumberin' whale.
He's gonna think
an express train hit him.
That blubber is gonna fly
by the bucket load.
You just try to get him
on the first blast.
If I miss,
you can have my pay check.
Hey-what the-
Who the hell is that?
- That's Jake Summers, Hunnicutt's foreman.
- What the hell is he doin' here?
Well, how the hell should I know?
Rudi, why don't I make it a double-header
and just nail the pair of them?
Just Hunnicutt. The front office was
very specific about that.
I don't see what difference
one more will make.
Just Hunnicutt. Just Hunnicutt!
You hothead, you.
Jesus Christ.
Senator, forgive me.
Forgive me, but it's a personal matter
concerning my daughter.
No need to explain, R.J.
I'm a father myself.
Thanks for being so understandin'
about this unexpected interruption.
Quite all right.
Saved myself $50.
I'll get it from you next time,
you hear?
And you give my best
to your fine lady, now.
I surely will.
And good luck to you
- Jesus Christ.
- All right.
Hey! Stupido, bestia, animale.
Get your clubs.
Get your clubs, you dummy.
They were real tough lookin'.
A guy and a girl.
They must have busted up
nearly $200 worth of bottles.
- Did you get their license number?
- No.
I was too heated up
to think of it...
but it was a big Chevy with them
big racing tires, like at a speedway.
- Which way they heading?
- North on 23. You ain't five minutes behind them.
They're as good as caught.
Don't you worry.
Run them hippie punks
to the ground.
Kill them! Thieves! Ladrones.
Whoo! It just tickles me
remembering how mad he was.
- I hope it'll tickle the police too.
- The police?
- They're right behind us.
- What?
Whoa, Harley-
Okay. What are we gonna do?
Ain't got us yet.
G-3, this is car 509. We have the suspect
ahead of us, heading north on I-29.
Black 1957 Chevy,
License number 28MF259.
Suspect refuses to acknowledge
and is making a run for it.
We are pursuin'.
We'll dispatch assistance
to you up the line.
10-4.
Hold on tight, sweetheart.
Get these goddamn chickens off of me.
- I can't see to drive!
- Just stay on the road, that's all I ask.
Well, get 'em off me.
I hate goddamn chickens!
Open the door or something!
Hey, buddy,
have you ever heard of brakes?
We've got one other-
- We got him now.
- Let's see him get outta this.
Whoa! He's comin' out-
Out of the way! Look out!
Oh, my God! He's headed for the beach!
Stupid idiot! Ya messed up my hot dog!
- Oh, my God. Let's go!
- Leave me alone.
Okay! All right!
- We all set now? Gimme the keys.
- I ain't got no keys.
You don't have the keys?
Don't look like I'm playin' golf.
- I ain't got the keys.
- They must be inside the locker. Go get 'em.
- In your locker.
- Get the damn keys! I got I got 'em.
- In your locker. I got 'em.
- I got the keys.
Jake!
Ya damn cracker!
- I got 'em.
- Come on!
Wait a-Boss, boss, boss!
Boss, boss, wait a minute!
Wait! I ain't with ya, boss!
I ain't with ya, boss! Oh-
- Wait!
- Get in!
- Get in the damn car!
- I know it gonna be no difference.
Mayday!
You know,
that thing come in handy.
My kid brother-the one that drives a truck-
he figures,
saves maybe $500 a year in fines.
- Yeah. Well, you know, it never hurts to know what's goin' on.
- Yep.
Y'all watch out.
Keep a lookout for a black 1957 Chevrolet.
That's him. That's his car.
It's a '57 Chevy.
- Look's like she's headin' north on I-23.
- You sure about that, Jake?
- I'm positive.
- 28, Mary, Frank, 259.
- Proceed with caution.
- Here we go, boss.
We take 341 west from Lacoochee,
we're gonna come out right on top of 'em.
We in business, Jake.
Hell, I thought I knew every game track...
- and bear trail in this county.
- What's that mean?
I guess I'm lost.
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
- Something'll turn up.
- Looks like the old Takahatchee Trail to me.
Well, that'd put us all the way back
to old 'Cooche Bridge.
We must've got plumb turned around.
Better watch out for the law.
They're lookin' for us in swarms.
Harley, you have to drive so fast?
I do if I wanna catch that delivery truck.
They got a real good head start on us,
now that we have to cut back all this way.
Hey look there's a Corvette,
looks just like yours.
- Watch me show that overpowered Coke bottle some class.
- Oh, come on.
If it was me drivin' my car,
you'd never even come close.
Yeah? Just watch this.
It is my car.
It's Jim Bob drivin'.
- Hey, did you see her?
- Yeah.
Fox ain't supposed
to chase the hounds.
It's like turkey shootin', ain't it?
Once you're ready to quit and go home...
all of a sudden that gobbler
pops his head up behind that log...
and, pow,
right when you least expect it.
Then you just bust that old gobbler's head
clean off.
Yeah!
- Do somethin', Harley.
- You steer.
Yee-ah!
- Oh, Lord-a-mercy!
- Sit down, Bubba. He's gonna give you a new belly button.
A little taste of what they were dishin' out
did the trick.
- Yeah, didn't seem to slow 'em down any, though.
- Don't you worry about them.
No Detroit production kiddie car
is gonna take my little baby on.
- If I could nail his gas tank.
- Don't worry about it. We'll get 'em this time.
- We got the fastest car.
- Yeah.
Sweet kidneys of Christ.
Those boys are movin'.
Unit 19 here.
I spotted that black '57 Chevy
headed north on 121, and am pursuin'.
I'm between Immokalee Junction
and Chokoloskee Road.
- Immokalee Junction and Chokoloskee Road?
- Goddamn, they're behind us!
Where'd that fellow say they was headin'?
- North on 121.
- 10-4.
We get off at Jessawhiskey and go south, we're
gonna intercept them somewhere right here.
All right!'
More law on our tail.
Well, if we let 'em catch us,
we'll be safe from Daddy's thugs.
I ain't gonna let nobody catch me,
if I can help it.
Look. There's a crossroads up ahead.
I think I can shake the whole pack there.
Oh, Harley,
there's a police car comin'.
- 'Pears like he's fixin' to beat you to the crossroads.
- Just let him try.
Ed, he's gonna try
and make that crossin'.
He gonna wind up a day late
and a dollar short.
- You better give it all the juice you got. He's a-gainin' on her.
- Well, let's see him get by this.
- Oh, wow.
- Hang on.
Man, oh, man.
Was that sweet!
Oh, poor Jim Bob and Bubba
are really gonna catch it now!
You dumb shit! Look what you've done.
I oughta put you in a hospital or somethin'.
- Get outta that car right now. Move it. On the double.
- I didn't do nothin', officer.
- Get up against it.
- Honest. I didn't do nothin'.
Shut up.
You too. Get outta the car.
This way.
You another dumb shit, ain't you?
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Come on. Get outta that car. Move it.
- Wait a minute. Listen. That guy stole that Chevy.
- Shut it up.
I don't wanna hear no Walter Cronkite report.
Get your hands on that hood.
Better send somebody out here.
There's been a collision.
No need to send an ambulance.
Everyone appears to be on his feet.
We have two suspects
from the Corvette in custody.
Now, the people in the '57 Chevy evaded
our roadblock and are headin' north on 29.
I estimate their speed
at 90 miles an hour. 10-4.
- North on 29. Let me see here.
- 10-4.
You know, as soon as we turn south,
they'll be comin' straight at us...
and there ain't no possible
detours or nothin'!
There ain't no way we can miss 'em.
What is the matter? -
I saw somethin' back there
that's sure to do the trick, boy.
- They're comin' back this way, Rudi.
- I better stay outta sight.
Hunnicutt might recognize me.
- What do you figure they're up to?
- Beats me.
- You take a U-turn just as quick as they're outta sight, okay?
- Okay.
What the hell
are we gonna do, boss?
- Gimme a hand with this. Come on.
- Where are we goin'?
- You'll see. You'll find out.
- Good idea, boss.
- Bring it back.
- What's that?
- Car comin'.
- Who?
How the hell do I know?
Sit down. Look innocent.
Yeah?
What the hell is goin' on out there?
Damned if I know.
They stopped by the side of the road.
- They just seem to be sittin' there.
- Yeah? Ah, shit!
- Come on, Carl. Let's get movin'. Let's get movin'.
- I'm comin'. I'm comin'.
That's it. Advertise the guns a little more!
Get over here, you dumb son of a bitch.
I don't get it. They were here a minute ago.
- The car's gone too, Rudi.
- Hunnicutt's got something up his sleeve, that hillbilly.
- Hey, you want me to get our car?
- No, no.
Listen, I think they might have gone
down that way. Let's get across the bushes.
What the hell's this?
Must be somethin' wrong,
else they wouldn't have put those signs up.
I don't understand this at all.
Don't make no sense.
Maybe the Highway Department
got their directions mixed up.
Ooh, look what I found.
Oh, my!
Oh, don't you try nothin' with me, boy.
You ain't gonna look so pretty
with no head on your shoulders.
Besides, you got no place to go.
Harley, what are we gonna do?
What the man says.
Now you're gettin' smart, boy.
Now, you just come outta that car nice and easy.
Huh? Come on.
Come on.
Nice work, Jake. Well, I guess our little lovebirds
have reached the end of their road.
Daughter, it's high time you and I had us
a little heart-to-heart talk.
Oh, no. I ain't gonna have no heart-to-heart
with you, 'cause you ain't got no heart.
You crooked!
I know all about your dirty bootleg money.
Well, now, don't you get to sound
too self-righteous about that...
considerin' now much of my "dirty money"
you manage to spend each and every month.
Your sainted grandaddy
always said to me, "Ralph Junior...
if you eat the bacon,
you got no call to mourn a hog."
Daddy!
Aw, Jesus, boss.
They can't mean this for us.
Gimme your shirt, honey.
I gotta talk to them.
Bushwakin' sons of bitches.
Keep your head down, Rudi.
That guys real handy.
- Damn it. I thought that would have been rid of 'em.
- Me too.
- Are you sure you made the hit?
- Well, he fell like a dead duck.
Shit.
Keep firin'. We gotta scare 'em away from
that stiff. Uncle Angie wants two ears and a tail.
Bushwackin'-
- Shit.
- Okay, Jake? This is your own piece here lookin' at you.
- You don't want your head blown off? Don't do anything funny.
- You got the drop on me, hero.
Now, look, we got about as much
as we can handle right now.
You keep on shootin'. But listen.
We've got a score to settle when this is over.
- Okay?
- It's over right now, boy.
- Get his gun, Jake.
- Daddy! You're alive!
- Boss, I thought you was-
- Never mind what you thought. I said, get his gun!
- It's a miracle.
- It's no miracle, you sucker.
The only miracle
is faith in the greenback dollar.
Hoo! I always told you, it pays
to carry around a big roll o' bills...
and a little ol' Honey Dew bottle opener.
Boss, somebody wants you dead awful bad.
I think its those boys from up New York.
I think they sent a hit man down from there.
That's our best chance to get outta here!
Come on.
- Boss, I'm gonna take my own chances.
- Where'd you get those?
Shit, boss, when you was dead, I didn't think-
Don't you do that, damn it.
You worthless, lily-livered son of a bitch.
You'd throw me to dogs, would ya?
But shit, boss,
you gotta see my situation.
Hell, I ain't the one they're after.
Just stay right there, R.J.
Now move away from the car.
- Come on.
- Don't shoot, boss. Don't shoot!
Me and Nancy Sue are gonna get outta here
in the estate wagon.
- Oh, don't shoot.
- Damn! - Get in the car, Nancy Sue.
- You hear that?
- Gimme them keys, Jake.
Now, don't you know those men up there
are paid to kill me? Nancy Sue!
- You gonna let 'em do that to your poor old daddy?
- Harley?
Okay, R.J., I'll make you a deal:
We'll take you with us, if you promise
to take us to the truck that's got the rotgut.
You got a deal, boy.
I'll cover Jake for ya, Harley.
Oh, I ain't buyin' that.
Get his gun, Nancy Sue.
Now, drop it, Jake.
Come on, Jake.
Be reasonable.
Well, what about me?
- Too bad about you, Jake.
- Here, Jake.
You can take the.57.
They're takin' off. Christ,
I don't believe it, Carl.
- What's a matter?
- I swear I saw Hunnicutt sittin' in the back seat.
But I dropped him clean.
He must be wearin' a steel vest.
There goes
our two ears and a tail.
I can't believe
our shitty luck.
Cops just come
around the corner.
Those boys want your car
awful bad.
Yeah, it's Jake they'll be grabbin'.
He's drivin' it.
Yeah, well, that ain't so good, but-
but it'll do.
Say-Say, that's them! That's the car
we've been seein' all afternoon.
That's the folks
that been tryin' to kill me!
- Ain't you goin' the wrong direction, boy?
- Hold on, R.J.
That's too easy.
My daddy always said to me,
"Ralph Junior, there's no sentiment in business."
But can you imagine,
those people tryin' to kill me?
Well, what about all them people buyin'
that poison moonshine of yours?
- Now, won't they be goners after one sip?
- Oh, now, honey, I-
- That was a terrible mistake, and I am truly sorry about it.
- Ha!
- Well, I am. I regret it. What can I do about it?
- Uh-huh.
- Sure.
- Anyway, it ain't all of it poison.
- Only about 600 gallons or so.
- You son of a bitch. 600 gallons?
One swallow'll probably kill a man.
You got 600 gallons for sale.
You think it's okay.
Daddy, we gotta find that truck,
and we gotta bust up the whole lot of it.
Oh, honey, that truck ain't even got
to Loxahatchee yet.
Makes a whole bunch of regular deliveries
'fore it turns north. It's less suspicious that way.
Where do you figure
it is around now?
Well, lunchtime, I suppose he'd turn off
at the Flight Path Motor Caf.
I feel like I'm back
in basic training.
All right! So now you can relax
for a little bit, all right?
Rudi, look at the tires.
Why, them dirty, no-good "somana-bitches."
Watch your step comin' down here, Carl.
Put the gun away!
Put the gun-
Well, at least we don't have them
to worry about no more.
Come on, Carl.
Get started with the jack.
Rudi?
- Yeah, Carl. Yeah?
- We only got one spare.
I know that, Carl.
Get started with the goddamn jack!
I'll figure somethin' out.
Hey Carl.
Hey, I got an idea.
- What? What? What?
- Just shut up and do what I tell ya, all right?
How ya doin', pal?
Oh, my God.
Have you guys had some kind of an accident?
- No, but you might.
- Get out of the car.
- Oh, boy.
- Get out of the car.
Come on. Stop with the seat belt.
Get out of the car.
Hurry up. Outta the car.
Okay, wise guy.
Gimme the keys.
There it is, folks: old Honey Dew wagon...
settin' right out in front
of the Flight Path Motor caf.
Sure this is the one
with the shine, huh?
R.J., you're a pisser.
Hey, hey, hey, there!
There's my man I wanted to see. There he is.
Hey, it sure is surprise,
Mr. Hunnicutt.
How you doin', boy?
And it's "R.J." to you.
You know my little girl, Nancy Sue,
don't you, Scooter? And that's her, uh-
- Fianc, Harley Thomas.
- It's a pleasure.
- Well, scoot on over, Scooter. You don't mind some company.
- Oh, no. Sit on down.
You know, we came all the way out here
just to give you this little bonus.
- You did?
- Oh, surely did.
There's been a bit of a change of a plan,
and we're gonna talk that over with you.
- This has got a hole in it.
- Ain't' gonna make no never-mind when you go to spend it.
Yeah, I tell ya, boy,
we're a little pressed for time.
If you don't mind, we're gonna
get right down to the point.
Well, I guess that does it.
I appreciate it.
You know, it was sort of an emergency.
So here's $200.
That oughta cover your expenses.
- But that's too much. I can't accept this.
- Ah, you keep it. You earned it.
Come here. You're a good boy.
But I wanna tell you somethin'.
If you ever breathe a word of this
to anybody, I'm gonna find you...
and I'm gonna make
a necktie out of your tongue.
- You understand?
- Perfectly.
Stay healthy, kid.
Scooter, drive safe now, boy, you hear?
I surely will, sir.
Don't you worry about a thing.
Why do you want to turn right, Rudi?
- Because Hunnicutt's gonna try to get outta the state.
- Well, how do you figure that?
If it was me tryin' to run from the hit,
I'd stay on the roads I knew.
I need a hit man, they send me
a man who watches Captain Kangaroo.
You tryin' to get cute
or somethin', Rudi?
No. I'm tryin' to tell you
that I make the goddamn decisions here.
- You think he knows the roads? Which way did he go?
- This way. There he is.
- What's that?
- That's him.
Smile, R.J., Smile.
You're on Candid Camera.
- You're not R.J.
- No. I'm Scooter Davis.
Where's R.J.? Now you answer me fast,
or I'll blow your goddamn nose backwards for ya.
- Well, he took the truck.
- What truck?
The Honey Dew truck, makin' the run north.
He said there was a new route.
- Which way was he headin' last you saw him?
- North on 341.
Okay, Scooter, now, if you want to blow out
the candles on your next birthday cake...
- you forget you ever saw me here.
- You're a complete stranger as far as I'm concerned.
You're a smart fella. Yeah.
I tell you, right here's the smartest place
in the whole world I could be right now.
Ridin' in this truck.
We're gonna be clear to Chicago
before anybody knows anything.
First we gotta bust up
that poison back there.
Oh, we gonna do it, honey. You can bust
every bottle yourself, if you feel like it.
Knowin' you, if it wasn't for us, you'd probably
sell it before you got to Okeechobee.
- Now, Harley, come on. That ain't fair.
- No, Harley. That ain't fair.
Well, we can't be too far behind.
Well, we better not be. Uncle Angie's gonna
be plenty pissed if we blow this one, Rudi.
Look, Carl,
nobody's blowin' nothin'.
So just cool it and-and think positive,
like Norman Vincent Peale.
Who?
The guy with the correspondence course.
- You mean, you never heard of him?
- No.
He was very famous
in the mind racket, you know.
Oh, what the hell am I explainin'
to you for?
Hey. There they are up ahead!
Look. There's the truck, Rudi!
- Where will you be?
- Canada, I expect.
You and your mama can sell the bottom land.
I'll put it in her name.
Maybe in a year or two,
we can start all over again in Hawaii.
Oh, now, honey, Hawaii is hog heaven:
golden, sandy beaches...
coconut palms, picture-book sunsets...
not to mention the beautiful tan
you can get.
I tell ya, baby, life on the islands
is one big luau.
Well, you just send me
some postcards.
Better not start doin' the hula yet, R.J.
That same ultra-marine blue Caprice Classic
convertible is on our tail again.
How'd he get the tires fixed so fast?
Ah, they brought a pit crew
along with 'em.
- You sure that's the same one?
- Dead sure.
We haven't got a chance.
- Pull up alongside the driver, Rudi.
- Gotcha.
I'll pierce his ears for him.
Well, hang loose, R.J.
May not be able to outrun 'em...
but we can sure hell give a try
at outdrivin' 'em.
They're tryin' to outflank us.
But we got 'em covered in that department.
R.J., I can't see outta that busted mirror.
You keep a lookout on that side, huh?
- It ain't no use.
- Huh?
Well, move over, then, and I'll look out.
Come on. Quick.
He won't let me get past him,
the bastard.
Just-Just keep the car
nice and steady.
Now it's their turn
for a few flat tires.
It ain't no use.
Nancy Sue, gimme one of the guns.
They're in the glove compartment
of the station wagon, Harley. I'm sorry.
Sorry don't get the hay, and ya don't
sell the calf before the cow runs dry.
R.J., gimme that special
Honey Dew bottle opener of yours.
Um-
- Hey, gimme your shirt.
- What for?
- Never mind what for. Just gimme it.
- I'm wearin' my shirt.
- Didn't ask what you were doin' with it. I said give it to me.
- It ain't no use.
Daughter!
No, those goddamn mud
flaps keep gettin' in my way, Rudi.
Sure. Sure, Carl-
just like the last time in Memphis...
when the goddamn sun
kept gettin' in your eyes.
- Lay off me about Memphis.
- Okay, Carl. Okay.
We all make mistakes.
Here, honey.
Get it on you.
Cover yourself up.
- Okay. Come on over here. Take the wheel.
- Go down.
- Okay, you're doin' fine.
- All right.
- Don't let 'em get around us.
- Mm-hmm.
- Look at me, quick.
- Huh? Mmm. You be careful!
Uh-huh.
They're all nuts, I'm tellin' ya.
They're nuts!
Rudi!
Get back!
Is it still the mud flaps, Carl?
Mud flaps?
I don't wanna hear any more about mud flaps.
You just keep the car pointin' that way
and shut up about mud flaps!
- No, no. Not that.
- Stop it. Your dad's busy.
Girls, girls, come on!
Come in the trailer right now!
All right.
Let's go.
Rudi, watch out! He's got the whole case.
- I can't breathe!
- That's the best news I've had all day.
Rudi! Rudi!
Over here,
you stupid, Captain Kangaroo bastard, you!
- Drive on, daughter. Get me outta here!
- Listen, Harley's up there!
Did you see that?
Did you see what I did?
Mmm. Mmm.
Well, that son of a bitch.
He's gonna sell that stuff anyhow, ain't he?
- Daddy.
- Well...
I guess you better hitch a ride up to Pahokee Pass
and catch a bus back to Ochopee.
Hey-y-y-y.
Well, hi, Harley.
Had a busy day
on the highway.
Oh, daddy's gonna get it now.
Harley promise me
you'll give up bootleggin'.
- Aw, honey.
- Oh, come on.
We can sell off my part of the bottlin' plant,
and we can set you up with a garage.
You're so handy with cars,
it'd be more fun than it would work. -
Harley, are you listenin' to me?
- Sure, uh, we'll talk about it.
- When?
In a minute.
Hey, Hey.
- Huh?
- Hey, listen.
When, as soon as we get back
with the copper tubin'...
- we gotta go back and pick up that sugar I stashed for ya.
- Okay.
- You gonna do all that today?
- Sure.
- Hey, don't you fellas know that Weeki Wacnee County is dry?
- Well, what do you know!
You gotta spread that happiness.
Sure.
Here she comes.
- We throwin' a lot of puke?
- Uh, no.
No more than usual.
Relay's workin' fine and dandy.
She's goin'.
See can she hold a bead.
Look at this.
Whoa, ho.
This looks like the best batch
we've made yet.
Gonna spread happiness!
Let's have a little smell here.
Ooh. Oh, boy.
Don't shake 'er no more.
There's too much blubber.
Look at that.
Regular goose eye.
Mornin', boys.
- Nice to see you.
- Either one of you rest home rejects...
as much as sticks
a finger up his nose...
that's all she wrote, boys,
good-bye.
I told you fellas last week,
I ain't doin' no business with Hunnicutt.
- Don't rile 'em now, Hobe.
- Ohh!
Yeah, don't you rile us none.
Best take his advice, old man...
unless you want to end up
food for the buzzards.
Right nice little operation
you boys got going here for yourselves.
- Times are changin', boys.
- Oh, me.
Ain't no more room left
for the independents.
- Jim Bob!
- Yeah?
Get 'em over behind them trees
before we end up all lookin'...
- like a Chinese blue plate special.
- Come on, pappy.
Move it out. Let's go.
- Get out of here. Come on.
- Dadgummit, my foot's gone to sleep.
Get out of my way!
Holy shit!
Ooh.
Harley! Harley, boy! Over here!
- That you, Hobe?
- Yeah.
Over here by the big cypress tree.
Yeah. Oh!
They got us hog-tied
good and proper, man.
So hurry up.
Never been through nothin' like this
before in my entire life.
It's miserable.
Just miserable.
Whats the matter with your brother?
He all right?
He's just asleep, is all.
He can sleep standing up.
- Asleep?
- Hurry up and get me out of this.
Feels like I been tied up
here forever.
- My joints are gettin' old and stiff.
- Who done this to you, anyhow?
Oh, them boys that work for Hunnicutt.
I recognized one of them.
He come over here last week,
offerin' me free sugar.
Hey, wake up, brother.
You're a free man again.
Hey, no, no!
Don't let 'em-
Oh. Hi, Harley.
- Ain't it a shame what they done to us?
- Plumb awful, Taylor.
Worse than that. You Know,
we had the second batch just started...
and it was comin' just as clear
as branch water.
And when I think of that good whiskey...
gettin' blowed all to smithereens,
it makes me want to cry.
- What about this week's load?
- Oh, she's safe, Harley. She's safe.
I moved her last night
down to the shed...
- so you can pick up your load.
- Okay. To the shed?
- Yeah.
- Oh, Christ! Come on!
- Come on.
- Hey! Hey, boy, easy. You're liable to pull me apart.
Come on, Taylor. We gotta get there
before they steal the whole load.
You boys aren't ready
for a wheelchair yet, are you?
Just pretend you're practicing
for that three-legged race...
at the Senior Citizens' picnic.
I'm gonna need a transfusion
before this is over.
Things was peaceful around here
before you come.
Lord! You don't have
to go so fast, Harley.
You'll live to be a hundred yet.
I tell ya, if the Lord had wanted a man
to get places fast...
he'd have started him closer
to where he was goin'.
We ain't gonna have to do
no more runnin', are we, boy?
Shh. Keep it quiet.
Damn.
- Listen, now many cases were you settin' out for me?
- Nine.
Six.
This is probably their last load.
Hold on, boys.
I'm not gonna let them get
that whiskey for free.
- Hey, Jake.
- Yeah?
You think old R.J. needs
all this here good stuff?
I thought maybe we could have a snort
when we was finished loadin'.
Yeah. Them Carpenter brothers
are all right.
Make the best corn whiskey
in the whole state.
Think I hear somebody comin'.
Yeah!
We didn't even get a taste.
Just stop feelin' so plain sorry
for yourself.
Are we gonna tromp
that son of a bitch?
We're gonna sink his ass.
Well, son,
that was quite an experience...
but I want you to know
that I'm walking from now on.
Yeah, boy. Besides, he travels fastest
who travels alone.
Bye.
I'm gonna stomp you!
Aw, shit.
He's got no way out.
Let's us get him!
Wickedness and corruption, brothers-
they'll wind about you
like the coils of a serpent.
Hey, I told you to watch the car,
not sit on it.
- Go on, get off. Here.
- Their fangs are jagged and they're sharp...
and they'll close about you
like the jaws of the old devil himself.
The great dragon was thrown out.
That ancient serpent...
the lion we named devil
and Satan.
But some were not cast down,
my friends.
They remain close
to the Lord and his Word.
They were not beguiled
by temptation.
For the forked tongue of the serpent
is quick as lighting.
Just you watch
the snake's tongue a-flickering...
like the very candle flame
of wickedness...
Then you'll know how easy
Eve was beguiled.
He bamboozled Eve, brothers.
He bamboozled Eve
into eating that forbidden fruit.
Just as sweet and civil
as an old carnival pitchman.
Hey, Nancy Sue.
What, are you mad at me,
or just plain deaf?
No, I'm not deaf, Harley.
You're late again.
Said you'd be back
a long time ago.
Besides that,
I don't want to talk in church.
Why not?
Everybody else is.
Harley, these good people
are possessed by the Holy Spirit.
It looks to me more like they're possessed
by about four quarts of moonshine.
Oh, Harley, please don't be
disrespectful in church.
Just look at the Reverend Wilcox
down there, wrestling with the demon.
Now, isn't he plumb beautiful?
He's a lot better lookin'
than the gator, that's for sure.
Oh, Harley,
your soul'll rot in hell...
for that kind of talk.
- It ain't no sin tellin' the truth.
- Don't squeeze me in church.
Yeah!
The serpent is cunning, my children.
It's his, all right.
Son of a bitch.
Friends, beware that wicked,
cursed serpent.
Brother, you wrestle with him
all your days.
For the power of the Lord
is righteousness, brother...
And the pure of heart
will triumph over sin.
Amen!
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Have a good day.
We enjoyed the sermon,
Reverend Wilcox.
Hey.
Harley, I don't even know
why I talk to you...
acting like that-
so disrespectful in church.
It's bad enough,
you being a bootlegger...
without adding blasphemy
to your sins.
I just wish you'd talk to Daddy
about getting a job at the plant.
I'll talk to him...
but not about no job.
Look, there's Uncle Jake.
I thought he was a Baptist.
Wonder why he's so wet.
I guess it's 'cause
he got baptized.
- Hi, Uncle Jake.
- Hi, Nancy Sue.
Well, uh, I thought
you was a Baptist.
Well, I am, Nancy Sue, but...
you know, it never hurts
to get another point of view.
Yeah. Harley, this is Mr.
Jake Summers...
My daddy's foreman
down at the plant.
Harley Thomas, my fianc
Uncle Jake.
- Howdy, Uncle Jake.
- My pleasure.
Sure was a rip-snorter of a sermon,
wasn't it?
Very educational.
Just as slick
as spit on a griddle...
way he told you how,
if you do bad things...
you're just gonna be down there
in the muck and the slime...
along with all the other
cold-blooded critters that crawl.
Yeah, well, you do
have to watch yourself
I mean, you lie down with snakes,
you're liable to get bit.
Harley. Now, you take care
of yourself, Uncle Jake.
- I will, honey.
- And remember me kindly to Aunt Vee.
- Yes; ma'am.
- You have a nice day.
- You too.
- Bye!
- Bye, now.
- Bye.
Bye, now. Bye-bye.
Harley, I wish you'd just see Daddy
and talk to him about a job at the plant.
You can catch Daddy tonight...
at his meeting
of the Soldiers for Civic Improvement.
- Soldiers for what?
- Soldiers for Civic Improvement.
Excuse me, sir.
One of you guys tell me
where I can find R.J. Hunnicutt?
What do you want
to do that for, boy?
We got something a lot better
to look at here.
You having trouble with your eyes?
No, I appreciate the back street ballet
as much as any feller.
This is business.
Seeing as how it's business,
old R.J. is over there at the center table.
He'll give you the business,
all right.
R.J. Hunnicutt?
Hey, sonny, you come here...
with your tail
between your legs?
Looks like I've more between my legs
than you'll ever muster up, old man.
Well, it's what's up on top
that counts, boy.
That's why you're never gonna be nothin' more
than a pissant grease monkey.
R.J., you shouldn't talk like that
about a prospective son-in-law.
Son-in-law? Boy, you ain't fit to haul
my daughter's garbage.
Your prospects begin and end up
at the relief office.
Well, listen, only reason I came down here
is to tell you something...
about dynamite.
It's just like lightning-
it can strike just as easy...
in town as it can
in the country.
Okay?
- Vassar.
- Oh, Vassar.
Now, Vassar's just a little bit too pinko
for my taste, Elma.
Besides, Wellesley's more-
more high class.
Bryn Mawr
is very high class, dear.
Why, Katherine Hepburn
went to Bryn Mawr.
Oh, is that so?
Well, uh-
It's closer to home, yeah.
How much is the tuition
over there?
Five thousand,
four hundred and fifteen dollars.
Well, don't that seem
a little mite steep to you?
I mean, you gotta multiply that figure
by four to get the annual package rate.
Is this a business deal
we're talking about...
- or your daughter's education?
- Elma, nothin' is too good for my little Nancy Sue...
and I would pay any tuition
any college asked...
if she would give up that damn fool idea
of being an airline stewardess.
Why, that's just a phase all girls
go through, wanting to travel.
If that girl would just settle down,
I'd plumb be in hog heaven.
Ralph?
Ralph Junior?
Are you all right?
I think I bit my tongue.
All units in the vicinity
of Okachobee Lane...
and Apalacca Road...
we need some assistance
for a blown-up vehicle totally destroyed.
It's now being towed away
from the victim's residence.
And boy, is it a mess.
Mr. Ralph Hunnicutt Jr?
- It's Ralph Junior Hunnicutt sir.
- All right.
What can I do for you, sir?
Are you with the police?
Me? I look like a cop?
The front office sent me down
to keep an eye on distribution.
Well, now, why didn't you say so
in the first place?
Come on right in here, sir.
You're certainly welcome in my home.
Well, thank you very much.
It looks like you had a little bit
of excitement around here last night.
You could say the car overheated
just a touch.
Say, I hope I haven't done nothin'
to make you folks unhappy with me.
No, no. Not at all.
But let me tell you somethin'.
If our people had been behind
that explosion...
you'd have been
behind the wheel.
Looks like you have enemies
right here at home.
Well, I do believe I can take care of them
all by myself, sir...
as long as everything's okay
with Mr. Profficcione.
Yeah. Well, Uncle Angie wants me to see
the operation just as soon as possible.
Tell me, whatever happened to Leon?
- Fella whose place I'm taking?
- Yeah, Leon Dante.
He was here about five years.
- Did you people give him a promotion?
- No, not exactly.
- Well, where's he at, then?
- Well, let's just say...
- he went on a Caribbean cruise and forgot to take the boat.
- I see.
Come on, son.
Wet your whistle.
- What's in it, booze?
- Oh, heck no. That's Honey Dew.
Finest soft drink
the South has.
Tastes like chicken livers.
When do you bottle up the moonshine?
That's at night,
after the day crew goes home.
- That's pretty clever.
- Oh, yeah, it's been workin' pretty good so far.
I tell you, the finest scotch whiskey
in the world don't get no better treatment.
We've had some reports of
some rotgut being out on the streets.
Front office doesn't like it.
Now, I'd, uh-
I'd hate to see you miss the boat.
You know what I mean?
You could not be more eloquent, sir.
No. Maybe you'd like
to come along with me...
and take a look
at some of our stills.
Oh, that's a great idea-
because I'm here to see
the whole thing.
Boys? Hey, y'all.
Good to see you keeping so busy.
Say hey now to Mr. Volpone.
He come all the way down
from New York City...
just to see our little business here.
If there's anything you don't understand,
you just holler, you near?
- Be glad to set you straight.
- Much obliged, R.J.
Let's have a look in that drum.
Bringing that damn Yankee down here,
slow up all my production...
and he don't know shine
from Shinola.
Hey, Rainey, you in charge
of this operation aren't you?
- That's right. Built it all myself.
- Well.
- Tell me, what is this shit?
- Well, I got this out of my '47 Dodge pickup.
It works a slight better
than a regular one.
But it's a little mite dirty, ain't it?
- I flush her out real good.
- Hey, you. Filthy.
- What the hell is this?
- You got yourself a regular auto supply store, don't you?
Fella told me if I put a 12-volt
in the mash, it'd cure twice as fast.
You're supposed
to be making whiskey, asshole.
What the hell's the matter with you?
Where's the rest of that stuff, Rainey?
- Over yonder in them drums.
- How much of that popskull did you make?
Ain't no more than five,
six hundred gallons.
- We been workin' less than a month.
- Jake.
You out of business, Rainey.
You can go back to swabbin' toilets.
Finish it off, Jake.
Oh, come on!
Well, there won't be no more rotgut
coming out of here, Mr. Volpone.
Front office, R.J., is gonna be real happy
to hear this.
- Hiya, Tommy Lee.
- Well, howdy, Thomas.
I just about give up on you
for the day.
- Well, I had some problems.
- What kind of problems?
Oh, business problems.
Worst part of it is, I guess I'm not gonna
be able to make my deliveries this week.
Well, it's just as well, Harley.
Fact is,
I'm not gonna be able...
to deal with you no more
from now on.
Just 'cause I missed
this one delivery?
Hey, I promise I ain't never
gonna miss any more.
I know you won't, but...
thing is, I already got myself
another distributor.
Shit you say.
And who might that be?
- I reckon you know who it is.
- I reckon I do.
No hard feelings.
It's just business is all.
Yeah, I guess a man's gotta take care
of his own interests, don't he?
I'm glad you're taking it
that way, boy.
- Have a beer?
- Oh, no, thanks.
Just remember,
you lie down with dogs...
you're liable to wake up
with fleas.
Hold on a second, hoss.
I got something to say to you.
- Nothin' you can say that I wanna listen to.
- Oh, I doubt that.
Knock hell out of him, Bubba.
Hey, asshole.
Knock off the kung fu shit.
Ow!
Good luck, Bubba.
Let's get this son of a bitch
in the truck.
I reckon I slowed him down
a little too much.
Dropped like a treed Coon
hit by lightning, didn't he?
Yeah, baby. Here.
He's kind of cute.
- Yeah.
- Let's go. Let's go.
Hey, Bubba,
let's take this son of a bitch...
down to the swamp
and go fishin'.
- Want to?
- Yeah. Think they're gonna be bitin'?
They'll be bitin' like hell
once they get a taste of him.
Whee!
Aah! Oh! Come on, get him! Grab his foot!
- I've-I got him.
- Hold him!
All right, Bubba!
What the hell are you doing?
Get out of here.
Come on!
I don't believe this.
I don't believe this at all.
And there they go!
And there they go!
Hey!
Sorry I'm late, honey. I got
in some trouble, and I couldn't call you.
- What do you mean? Are you all right?
- Sure, I'm okay.
Ooh. You just been out roughhousing
and carrying on and all.
And just never mind
if you keep me waitin' half the day.
- Hey, it wasn't my fault. If you just let me explain.
- I don't want you to explain.
You been in nothin' but trouble
ever since you got here.
I didn't start the fight, you know.
It just crept up on me by itself.
Well, it wouldn't have come
creeping up on you by itself..
If you didn't hang around
with all that trash...
and all those lowlife friends of yours down
at the Cloverleaf and the Ten and a Half.
For your information,
I ain't been in the Cloverleaf all day.
It don't matter which cesspool
you waller in. It stinks just the same.
- You trying to tell me I smell bad?
- Yeah.
Being a bootlegger stinks.
It's a low-down thing to do,
and it ain't ft for nothin' but scum.
Is that right?
Well, let me tell you somethin',
Miss High and Mighty.
Turns out your daddy is the biggest,
baddest bootlegger in these parts.
So if you're just talking about
trash you're looking for...
you don't even have to go
out of your own house to find it.
Hey, wait a minute.
You wait a minute.
Let me tell you somethin', Harley Thomas.
You are about the lowest thing that crawls.
Next to you, a cottonmouth rattlesnake
is walkin' tall.
Yeah, well, listen,
before you start calling people names...
maybe you better go around
to your father's bottling plant...
sometime in the night
and smell it.
It'll curl your hair plenty.
Oh, he did it, folks! He did it.
By God, he did it!
Shee! Man!
That is the best corn
I've ever tasted.
Yeah? Then you better savor
every snootful of it.
That's the last cork
'tween us and the Temperance Society.
Boys, we'll have another run
by the end of the week. You'll see.
- Wouldn't count on it, Harley.
- Why not?
I told you I'd stake you
for the copper tubing.
Shouldn't take us more than a couple of days
to cut it and shape it.
- Yeah, but that ain't exactly the problem.
- Well, what is?
- Sugar.
- Sugar?
Yeah, the Feds are keeping track
of them that's buying large amounts.
I can get you all the sugar
you can use.
- Free of charge too.
- How you gonna manage that, boy?
Well, look.
You take some of that Honey Dew soda pop...
and put it on the hood of your car,
and what happens?
It eats the paint right off it.
You know why?
'Cause it's 99 % sugar-
Hunnicutt sugar.
No, no. I don't want any truck
with that kinda stuff.
Hey, if the bee's gonna sting,
you got a right to his honey, don't you?
Yeah, but Harley boy, that beehive
might turn out to be a hornet's nest.
Aw, come on.
Don't you want to see Hunnicutt get his?
- Don't you?
- Way we figure, if you just sit on the bank long enough...
the body of your enemy
will come floatin' on by.
Taylor, now come you never play
but one string on that instrument?
Just got one bow.
Listen, you boys better
just get yourselves together...
and get up the road,
get ahold of that copper...
'cause we're gonna be
back in business.
That-a-boy, Scooter.
Just about ready, Jake.
All right, button it up.
About it, R.J.
How much of this week's load is bad?
I figure most of this week's shipment
is probably poison.
- Oh, shh.
- Way I see it, we ought to dump...
- the whole goddamn thing in the river.
- Hell, no.
I got too much money
sunk in that.
Besides, it'll just play hell...
with the whole production schedule.
Besides, we got the rotten spot
took care of.
Who gives a damn if a couple of niggers
up north get the bellyache?
- She's loaded and ready, Jake.
- Okay, boss.
Scooter! Highball that load.
Yes, sir!
I gotta drive up
to Palm Beach tonight.
I have a business meeting
tomorrow morning...
so I need you guys to take me home
to get the station wagon.
All right.
Harley!
Harley, you were right about Daddy.
He's a crook.
Harley, why don't you answer me?
I know you're in there.
Well, the boss is on his way.
Hey, Jake,
let's stop and get some coffee.
Coffee, shit.
You just want to see that big old waitress.
Got no time for that.
We gotta get back and watch that plant.
Don't move, you son of a bitch,
unless you want a bellyful of buckshot.
Goddamn, Harley!
- Get your gun.
- Whoa, now.
- All right, all right.
- This son of a bitch moves, you blow his head off.
You know what let's do?
Let's make this son of a bitch
carry all them sacks back by himself...
All at one time.
We'll give him a touch of this gun butt
every time he stumbles.
- I like your sense of fun Jim Bob.
- Yeah.
I truly do.
The boss is gonna want everything
just the way it is.
That way,
the evidence is gonna be there.
Then when we shoot this thieving bastard,
out next to his car-
- Caught in the act, you might say.
- Yeah.
What do you think about that,
maggot face?
I think you can take your-
I hope you try and run, boy. I want to see
what kind of pattern this thing throws.
That ought to do the trick.
You won't go nowhere, will you? Smartass?
On your feet, ass wipe.
Just take it slow and easy.
Else you don't get no chance
to say your prayers.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, goddamn it.
That's right, bunny rabbit.
Now I got you,
you son of a bitch.
- Hey, Jake.
- Yeah?
- Come and look what I got.
- You say your prayers, 'cause I'm gonna be back...
to really tuck you in for the night, baby.
Regular spitfire, ain't she, Bubba?
I'm goin' home right now, you hear me?
I'm goin' 'home right now! You let me down.
Best thing'd be to keep her here
till her daddy gets back tomorrow.
That way maybe he can pound some sense
into her head.
You ain't gonna keep me here!
I'm going home right now, do you hear me?
I'm going home right now!
Now, little girl,
I used to bounce you on my knee.
Now, why don't you do
your Uncle Jake a favor, huh?
Be nice and quiet and cooperative.
If you don't turn me loose
I'll scream so loud...
they'll hear me clear to Tallahassee.
Help!
Help! Help!
Now, you see, you shouldn't ought
to have done that.
That stuff's gonna leave a rash,
and your boyfriend won't want to kiss you.
You be good now,
won't you, sugar pie?
I want you to take turns
keeping an eye on that girl.
I don't want you to let her
hurt herself or nothin'.
I'm goin' back down and keep an eye
on our friend.
Bubba, you take first watch.
Jim Bob, now you go back down to that caf
and get us some hot coffee, huh?
Better take this,
in case he gets all worked up.
Worked up, huh?
He ain't gonna get worked up.
No, sir.
He ain't gonna get worked up,
'cause I'm goin' down and sing him a lullaby.
On your feet,
you stinkin' sack of snake shit.
Drop your pants.
You gotta be funnin'.
There's a lady in here watchin' us. -
Yeah, well, she can turn her head
if your undies are too dirty.
Come on, quick, before I unbutton your fly
with hot lead.
You gotta be plumb crazy.
Now get over there in the comer.
Quick, now.
This is plumb foolish.
I want you to lie down on the floor
on your belly.
- Put your hands behind you.
- You ain't gonna get away with this.
You just watch me
and see if I don't.
Get 'em back there.
You just hold tight, honey. I'll have you
freed quicker than a mule can spit.
Okay.
Hey.
- Boy, am I ever glad to see you.
- Hey.
Oh.
Have I got a rash
on my mouth?
Not that I can see.
Prettiest mouth in creation.
Let me take care of this tub of chitlins...
and we'll get the hell out of here.
Roll over, kid.
Hey, well, what you gonna do to me?
Watch and see, baby Bubba.
Ohh!
Oh, hey!
Hey!
Let me down from here!
We gotta find some way to shut him up.
- Huh?
- Come here.
Sorry about this.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Is that all you ever think of?
Just hold your horses.
Let me down from here,
you son of a bitch.
You ain't gonna
get a way with this.
Here, suck on this,
and your dreams'll come true.
Okay?
- Where's your car?
- Up front, but they took the keys.
- Well, better take mine.
- Right.
Get in there
and wait for me.
What are you doing?
Loose lips sink ships.
The boys won't be following us too quick.
Harley, you were right about my daddy.
- He's a bootlegger, just like you said.
- Uh-huh.
Only his whiskey's no good.
It's poison.
Anybody who's ever drunk
your daddy's popskull moonshine knows that.
Give a man a headache
lasts for a week.
No, this is worse. I mean it's real poison.
It could kill people.
Whole truckload of it
went out tonight...
bottled up to look like Honey Dew.
Harley, we gotta find that truck
and stop it.
Well, which way
is this truck headed?
It went north, toward Homosassa Springs.
That's the usual route.
That's just the other way
from where these old fellas live.
- Well-
- Well-
Yeah, I guess I can just stash that
hot honey under a bush someplace...
and we'll just run 'er right down.
Sorry I'm late.
I got to messing around with that
big old waitress over there and, uh-
Good Lord, Bubba.
You look like a hog at sticking time.
Before I knowed it,
he had a gun on me.
Never heard him comin' or nothin'.
Jake ain't gonna like this one bit.
Howdy, Jake.
What, did you expect them
to wait for us?
- Dirty little bastards.
- Hey, Jake. Looky here.
Looks like that old boy
done sprung a leak.
Well, shit fire
and save matches.
Boys, I do believe we're in luck.
- Be easier than tracking a three-legged Coon.
- That's just what I was thinking.
You and Bubba, you get after him.
Come on.
I gotta get my ass
down to Palm Beach...
and tell old R.J. about
what the hell's going on down here.
But when I get back, baby...
we gonna take old Harley boy's ass
and we goin' in that swamp.
Keep your eyes peeled for sugar.
Hey, there's a pile up ahead there
at the intersection.
Looks like he turned left on 41.
Oh, when I get that Harley,
I'm gonna ram his teeth...
down his throat
with this here 12-gauge.
We ought to break his fingers,
one at a time.
Yeah, and stick lit cigarettes
in his ears.
Let's get a move on.
Hold your horses, honey.
I gotta take a leak first.
Oh, Harley,
sometimes I wonder about you.
Well, you could turn around,
you know.
I'm not selling tickets
for a show.
Ah. I ain't interested
in no show.
Hey, what's that light
down there?
It's them. I'd know that '57 Chevy anywhere.
- They must've broke down.
- What's he doin'?
I don't know, but they sure as hell
ain't gonna get away this time.
- Hey!
- Aim for his tires!
It's them! They come after us!
- Get in!
- Shoot the shit out of them, Bubba!
Whoo!
Don't flood it.
Just sit tight, will you?
I don't need advice
on how to start my own car.
Why don't you keep this junk pile
tuned up?
You say one more mean thing about my car,
and you can just get out and walk.
- She is tuned up. She's just temperamental-
- Let's get out of here!
...like some other people that I know.
Harley!
- What the shit?
- The engine's on fire.
- We ain't got no more power.
- Tromp on it, tromp on it.
Goddamn car
is the biggest piece of shit.
It just ain't fair,
when we was so close.
We're not crying "uncle" yet.
What you gonna do,
catch 'em on foot?
What, did you take a correspondence course
to figure it out?
The girl's Corvette's parked back at the plant,
and you got the keys, ain't you?
- Sure, I do.
- Well, give 'em to me.
- Huh?
- Come on, Bubba. Give me the damn keys.
That Corvette's the fastest set of wheels
in five counties.
Ain't no way they can get away from us on
this road, man. It runs all the way to Ochopee.
Well, how you gonna get
that Corvette here? Whistle for it?
- Lester.
- Hey, Lester!
Hey, Lester, we need a ride into town.
I ain't allowed to pick up passengers
with the city's truck.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we'll see about that. Huh.
Just hold it right there, Lester.
If you shoot me,
you ain't just shooting another nigger.
You shooting a public service man.
If you was in
the public service business-
Ain't none of your damn business
what kind of business we in.
Uh, listen here, Lester.
Either we're gonna give you a bottle
of that real good stuff you know we got...
or we're gonna stomp you.
Well, I'll go along with that, but I got
a lot to do, and I got places to go.
Look, we're gonna be
behind ourselves.
We got all mornin'
to pick up that copper tubing.
Back in the saddle again.
- Jesus.
- Yahoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Well, I am in hog heaven.
You wouldn't want to make
a little side bet...
on this next hole,
would you, Senator?
Right now I'm concerned
about another little gamble.
Well, you've got nothing
to worry about.
It's all goin' fine and dandy.
That's not how I've been hearing it, R.J.
I've been getting reports
of poison whiskey...
from certain parties
up north.
Now, it's one thing to be mixed up
in a little moonshine.
Might even win me a few votes,
if word was to get out.
But rotgut-
that's another matter entirely.
Well, you can breathe easy
on that score, Senator.
This has all been taken care of.
Now, uh, we did have
one dirty producer...
who was maybe turning out
some bad whiskey...
but he has been located
and shut down.
So believe me when I tell you
that every single ounce of our stuff...
is A-number-one clean
from start to finish.
It's true then,
about the rotgut?
Well, there may have been one or two
contaminated loads got out on the street...
but what the hell, it all went straight
on up to New York City...
and who gives a shit if a couple
of Harlem coons kick the bucket, huh?
- Get Hunnicutt.
- We'll get right on it.
You are on it.
We've been keepin' an eye on him,
just like you said.
- I want blood, Rudi.
- Look, it-
It's as good as done, huh?
- But clean, quiet.
- Absolutely.
- Get on it, Rudi.
- Right.
- I'm in a bad mood, Rudi.
- Listen, do me a favor.
Give my best to little Dominic.
And the twins, huh?
- Can it, will ya?
- Yeah.
Wish Gladys a happy anniversary for me.
- Get on it, Rudi.
- Fine.
- Two ears and a tail. Two ears and-
- Good-bye.
Hey, Carl.
- Yeah?
- Get your ass in gear.
We gotta go do
a little job.
Yeah, I heard.
Who's the contract for, Rudi?
Hunnicutt.
- That's nice.
- I never liked that "son of a-bitch" myself.
He's gonna be
at the golf course till noon.
I'm gonna go rent some clubs.
You have everything ready
when I get back, you hear?
- Long range?
- Two, three hundred yards.
Hey, Carl.
Just like hunting antelope-
only bigger.
- Harley, quick, pull in. I see it.
- See what?
The Honey Dew truck's parked
over yonder by the Winn-Dixie.
- You're sure that's the one?
- Of course I'm sure.
- I seen it leave last night.
- You're the boss, babe.
Well, the driver ain't here.
What do you want to do now?
Timber!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Hey! Trash can's over there!
Hey! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
- My Lord. That ain't Scooter.
- iPolica!
Hey, that's the first time I ever heard
a moonshine hauler holler for the cops.
That's 'cause that ain't the one.
That's a different driver.
Harley, I'm terribly sorry.
Don't fret your head about it, honey.
Your daddy's soda pop
is damn near poison as it is.
Figure we did folks a favor,
busting up some of it.
You ever watch
Captain Kangaroo?
- Captain who?
- Captain Kangaroo.
- You know, in the morning, on television?
- That's a kiddie show, isn't it?
- Well, yeah, sort of.
- I don't get it.
I mean, what's a grown man like you doing
watching a kiddie show?
My pre-schooler, Judy,
she likes to watch it.
You know, and when I'm not on a job,
I watch it with her sometimes.
It's a good show for kids, Rudi.
It's very gentle. No violence.
- Carson's all I ever watch.
- Yeah?
Well, I really hate
all that violence on TV.
The starter said
they would be on the 16th.
Now, they can't be much further than this.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah.
There they are.
Hey, It's a perfect setup.
Nobody else around.
Should I waste 'em both, Rudi?
Naw, just Hunnicutt.
Hey, you're lucky he's the big one.
Makes a much better target.
This baby'll stop a charging rhino
at 400 yards.
Well, what we got here
is more like a lumberin' whale.
He's gonna think
an express train hit him.
That blubber is gonna fly
by the bucket load.
You just try to get him
on the first blast.
If I miss,
you can have my pay check.
Hey-what the-
Who the hell is that?
- That's Jake Summers, Hunnicutt's foreman.
- What the hell is he doin' here?
Well, how the hell should I know?
Rudi, why don't I make it a double-header
and just nail the pair of them?
Just Hunnicutt. The front office was
very specific about that.
I don't see what difference
one more will make.
Just Hunnicutt. Just Hunnicutt!
You hothead, you.
Jesus Christ.
Senator, forgive me.
Forgive me, but it's a personal matter
concerning my daughter.
No need to explain, R.J.
I'm a father myself.
Thanks for being so understandin'
about this unexpected interruption.
Quite all right.
Saved myself $50.
I'll get it from you next time,
you hear?
And you give my best
to your fine lady, now.
I surely will.
And good luck to you
- Jesus Christ.
- All right.
Hey! Stupido, bestia, animale.
Get your clubs.
Get your clubs, you dummy.
They were real tough lookin'.
A guy and a girl.
They must have busted up
nearly $200 worth of bottles.
- Did you get their license number?
- No.
I was too heated up
to think of it...
but it was a big Chevy with them
big racing tires, like at a speedway.
- Which way they heading?
- North on 23. You ain't five minutes behind them.
They're as good as caught.
Don't you worry.
Run them hippie punks
to the ground.
Kill them! Thieves! Ladrones.
Whoo! It just tickles me
remembering how mad he was.
- I hope it'll tickle the police too.
- The police?
- They're right behind us.
- What?
Whoa, Harley-
Okay. What are we gonna do?
Ain't got us yet.
G-3, this is car 509. We have the suspect
ahead of us, heading north on I-29.
Black 1957 Chevy,
License number 28MF259.
Suspect refuses to acknowledge
and is making a run for it.
We are pursuin'.
We'll dispatch assistance
to you up the line.
10-4.
Hold on tight, sweetheart.
Get these goddamn chickens off of me.
- I can't see to drive!
- Just stay on the road, that's all I ask.
Well, get 'em off me.
I hate goddamn chickens!
Open the door or something!
Hey, buddy,
have you ever heard of brakes?
We've got one other-
- We got him now.
- Let's see him get outta this.
Whoa! He's comin' out-
Out of the way! Look out!
Oh, my God! He's headed for the beach!
Stupid idiot! Ya messed up my hot dog!
- Oh, my God. Let's go!
- Leave me alone.
Okay! All right!
- We all set now? Gimme the keys.
- I ain't got no keys.
You don't have the keys?
Don't look like I'm playin' golf.
- I ain't got the keys.
- They must be inside the locker. Go get 'em.
- In your locker.
- Get the damn keys! I got I got 'em.
- In your locker. I got 'em.
- I got the keys.
Jake!
Ya damn cracker!
- I got 'em.
- Come on!
Wait a-Boss, boss, boss!
Boss, boss, wait a minute!
Wait! I ain't with ya, boss!
I ain't with ya, boss! Oh-
- Wait!
- Get in!
- Get in the damn car!
- I know it gonna be no difference.
Mayday!
You know,
that thing come in handy.
My kid brother-the one that drives a truck-
he figures,
saves maybe $500 a year in fines.
- Yeah. Well, you know, it never hurts to know what's goin' on.
- Yep.
Y'all watch out.
Keep a lookout for a black 1957 Chevrolet.
That's him. That's his car.
It's a '57 Chevy.
- Look's like she's headin' north on I-23.
- You sure about that, Jake?
- I'm positive.
- 28, Mary, Frank, 259.
- Proceed with caution.
- Here we go, boss.
We take 341 west from Lacoochee,
we're gonna come out right on top of 'em.
We in business, Jake.
Hell, I thought I knew every game track...
- and bear trail in this county.
- What's that mean?
I guess I'm lost.
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
- Something'll turn up.
- Looks like the old Takahatchee Trail to me.
Well, that'd put us all the way back
to old 'Cooche Bridge.
We must've got plumb turned around.
Better watch out for the law.
They're lookin' for us in swarms.
Harley, you have to drive so fast?
I do if I wanna catch that delivery truck.
They got a real good head start on us,
now that we have to cut back all this way.
Hey look there's a Corvette,
looks just like yours.
- Watch me show that overpowered Coke bottle some class.
- Oh, come on.
If it was me drivin' my car,
you'd never even come close.
Yeah? Just watch this.
It is my car.
It's Jim Bob drivin'.
- Hey, did you see her?
- Yeah.
Fox ain't supposed
to chase the hounds.
It's like turkey shootin', ain't it?
Once you're ready to quit and go home...
all of a sudden that gobbler
pops his head up behind that log...
and, pow,
right when you least expect it.
Then you just bust that old gobbler's head
clean off.
Yeah!
- Do somethin', Harley.
- You steer.
Yee-ah!
- Oh, Lord-a-mercy!
- Sit down, Bubba. He's gonna give you a new belly button.
A little taste of what they were dishin' out
did the trick.
- Yeah, didn't seem to slow 'em down any, though.
- Don't you worry about them.
No Detroit production kiddie car
is gonna take my little baby on.
- If I could nail his gas tank.
- Don't worry about it. We'll get 'em this time.
- We got the fastest car.
- Yeah.
Sweet kidneys of Christ.
Those boys are movin'.
Unit 19 here.
I spotted that black '57 Chevy
headed north on 121, and am pursuin'.
I'm between Immokalee Junction
and Chokoloskee Road.
- Immokalee Junction and Chokoloskee Road?
- Goddamn, they're behind us!
Where'd that fellow say they was headin'?
- North on 121.
- 10-4.
We get off at Jessawhiskey and go south, we're
gonna intercept them somewhere right here.
All right!'
More law on our tail.
Well, if we let 'em catch us,
we'll be safe from Daddy's thugs.
I ain't gonna let nobody catch me,
if I can help it.
Look. There's a crossroads up ahead.
I think I can shake the whole pack there.
Oh, Harley,
there's a police car comin'.
- 'Pears like he's fixin' to beat you to the crossroads.
- Just let him try.
Ed, he's gonna try
and make that crossin'.
He gonna wind up a day late
and a dollar short.
- You better give it all the juice you got. He's a-gainin' on her.
- Well, let's see him get by this.
- Oh, wow.
- Hang on.
Man, oh, man.
Was that sweet!
Oh, poor Jim Bob and Bubba
are really gonna catch it now!
You dumb shit! Look what you've done.
I oughta put you in a hospital or somethin'.
- Get outta that car right now. Move it. On the double.
- I didn't do nothin', officer.
- Get up against it.
- Honest. I didn't do nothin'.
Shut up.
You too. Get outta the car.
This way.
You another dumb shit, ain't you?
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Come on. Get outta that car. Move it.
- Wait a minute. Listen. That guy stole that Chevy.
- Shut it up.
I don't wanna hear no Walter Cronkite report.
Get your hands on that hood.
Better send somebody out here.
There's been a collision.
No need to send an ambulance.
Everyone appears to be on his feet.
We have two suspects
from the Corvette in custody.
Now, the people in the '57 Chevy evaded
our roadblock and are headin' north on 29.
I estimate their speed
at 90 miles an hour. 10-4.
- North on 29. Let me see here.
- 10-4.
You know, as soon as we turn south,
they'll be comin' straight at us...
and there ain't no possible
detours or nothin'!
There ain't no way we can miss 'em.
What is the matter? -
I saw somethin' back there
that's sure to do the trick, boy.
- They're comin' back this way, Rudi.
- I better stay outta sight.
Hunnicutt might recognize me.
- What do you figure they're up to?
- Beats me.
- You take a U-turn just as quick as they're outta sight, okay?
- Okay.
What the hell
are we gonna do, boss?
- Gimme a hand with this. Come on.
- Where are we goin'?
- You'll see. You'll find out.
- Good idea, boss.
- Bring it back.
- What's that?
- Car comin'.
- Who?
How the hell do I know?
Sit down. Look innocent.
Yeah?
What the hell is goin' on out there?
Damned if I know.
They stopped by the side of the road.
- They just seem to be sittin' there.
- Yeah? Ah, shit!
- Come on, Carl. Let's get movin'. Let's get movin'.
- I'm comin'. I'm comin'.
That's it. Advertise the guns a little more!
Get over here, you dumb son of a bitch.
I don't get it. They were here a minute ago.
- The car's gone too, Rudi.
- Hunnicutt's got something up his sleeve, that hillbilly.
- Hey, you want me to get our car?
- No, no.
Listen, I think they might have gone
down that way. Let's get across the bushes.
What the hell's this?
Must be somethin' wrong,
else they wouldn't have put those signs up.
I don't understand this at all.
Don't make no sense.
Maybe the Highway Department
got their directions mixed up.
Ooh, look what I found.
Oh, my!
Oh, don't you try nothin' with me, boy.
You ain't gonna look so pretty
with no head on your shoulders.
Besides, you got no place to go.
Harley, what are we gonna do?
What the man says.
Now you're gettin' smart, boy.
Now, you just come outta that car nice and easy.
Huh? Come on.
Come on.
Nice work, Jake. Well, I guess our little lovebirds
have reached the end of their road.
Daughter, it's high time you and I had us
a little heart-to-heart talk.
Oh, no. I ain't gonna have no heart-to-heart
with you, 'cause you ain't got no heart.
You crooked!
I know all about your dirty bootleg money.
Well, now, don't you get to sound
too self-righteous about that...
considerin' now much of my "dirty money"
you manage to spend each and every month.
Your sainted grandaddy
always said to me, "Ralph Junior...
if you eat the bacon,
you got no call to mourn a hog."
Daddy!
Aw, Jesus, boss.
They can't mean this for us.
Gimme your shirt, honey.
I gotta talk to them.
Bushwakin' sons of bitches.
Keep your head down, Rudi.
That guys real handy.
- Damn it. I thought that would have been rid of 'em.
- Me too.
- Are you sure you made the hit?
- Well, he fell like a dead duck.
Shit.
Keep firin'. We gotta scare 'em away from
that stiff. Uncle Angie wants two ears and a tail.
Bushwackin'-
- Shit.
- Okay, Jake? This is your own piece here lookin' at you.
- You don't want your head blown off? Don't do anything funny.
- You got the drop on me, hero.
Now, look, we got about as much
as we can handle right now.
You keep on shootin'. But listen.
We've got a score to settle when this is over.
- Okay?
- It's over right now, boy.
- Get his gun, Jake.
- Daddy! You're alive!
- Boss, I thought you was-
- Never mind what you thought. I said, get his gun!
- It's a miracle.
- It's no miracle, you sucker.
The only miracle
is faith in the greenback dollar.
Hoo! I always told you, it pays
to carry around a big roll o' bills...
and a little ol' Honey Dew bottle opener.
Boss, somebody wants you dead awful bad.
I think its those boys from up New York.
I think they sent a hit man down from there.
That's our best chance to get outta here!
Come on.
- Boss, I'm gonna take my own chances.
- Where'd you get those?
Shit, boss, when you was dead, I didn't think-
Don't you do that, damn it.
You worthless, lily-livered son of a bitch.
You'd throw me to dogs, would ya?
But shit, boss,
you gotta see my situation.
Hell, I ain't the one they're after.
Just stay right there, R.J.
Now move away from the car.
- Come on.
- Don't shoot, boss. Don't shoot!
Me and Nancy Sue are gonna get outta here
in the estate wagon.
- Oh, don't shoot.
- Damn! - Get in the car, Nancy Sue.
- You hear that?
- Gimme them keys, Jake.
Now, don't you know those men up there
are paid to kill me? Nancy Sue!
- You gonna let 'em do that to your poor old daddy?
- Harley?
Okay, R.J., I'll make you a deal:
We'll take you with us, if you promise
to take us to the truck that's got the rotgut.
You got a deal, boy.
I'll cover Jake for ya, Harley.
Oh, I ain't buyin' that.
Get his gun, Nancy Sue.
Now, drop it, Jake.
Come on, Jake.
Be reasonable.
Well, what about me?
- Too bad about you, Jake.
- Here, Jake.
You can take the.57.
They're takin' off. Christ,
I don't believe it, Carl.
- What's a matter?
- I swear I saw Hunnicutt sittin' in the back seat.
But I dropped him clean.
He must be wearin' a steel vest.
There goes
our two ears and a tail.
I can't believe
our shitty luck.
Cops just come
around the corner.
Those boys want your car
awful bad.
Yeah, it's Jake they'll be grabbin'.
He's drivin' it.
Yeah, well, that ain't so good, but-
but it'll do.
Say-Say, that's them! That's the car
we've been seein' all afternoon.
That's the folks
that been tryin' to kill me!
- Ain't you goin' the wrong direction, boy?
- Hold on, R.J.
That's too easy.
My daddy always said to me,
"Ralph Junior, there's no sentiment in business."
But can you imagine,
those people tryin' to kill me?
Well, what about all them people buyin'
that poison moonshine of yours?
- Now, won't they be goners after one sip?
- Oh, now, honey, I-
- That was a terrible mistake, and I am truly sorry about it.
- Ha!
- Well, I am. I regret it. What can I do about it?
- Uh-huh.
- Sure.
- Anyway, it ain't all of it poison.
- Only about 600 gallons or so.
- You son of a bitch. 600 gallons?
One swallow'll probably kill a man.
You got 600 gallons for sale.
You think it's okay.
Daddy, we gotta find that truck,
and we gotta bust up the whole lot of it.
Oh, honey, that truck ain't even got
to Loxahatchee yet.
Makes a whole bunch of regular deliveries
'fore it turns north. It's less suspicious that way.
Where do you figure
it is around now?
Well, lunchtime, I suppose he'd turn off
at the Flight Path Motor Caf.
I feel like I'm back
in basic training.
All right! So now you can relax
for a little bit, all right?
Rudi, look at the tires.
Why, them dirty, no-good "somana-bitches."
Watch your step comin' down here, Carl.
Put the gun away!
Put the gun-
Well, at least we don't have them
to worry about no more.
Come on, Carl.
Get started with the jack.
Rudi?
- Yeah, Carl. Yeah?
- We only got one spare.
I know that, Carl.
Get started with the goddamn jack!
I'll figure somethin' out.
Hey Carl.
Hey, I got an idea.
- What? What? What?
- Just shut up and do what I tell ya, all right?
How ya doin', pal?
Oh, my God.
Have you guys had some kind of an accident?
- No, but you might.
- Get out of the car.
- Oh, boy.
- Get out of the car.
Come on. Stop with the seat belt.
Get out of the car.
Hurry up. Outta the car.
Okay, wise guy.
Gimme the keys.
There it is, folks: old Honey Dew wagon...
settin' right out in front
of the Flight Path Motor caf.
Sure this is the one
with the shine, huh?
R.J., you're a pisser.
Hey, hey, hey, there!
There's my man I wanted to see. There he is.
Hey, it sure is surprise,
Mr. Hunnicutt.
How you doin', boy?
And it's "R.J." to you.
You know my little girl, Nancy Sue,
don't you, Scooter? And that's her, uh-
- Fianc, Harley Thomas.
- It's a pleasure.
- Well, scoot on over, Scooter. You don't mind some company.
- Oh, no. Sit on down.
You know, we came all the way out here
just to give you this little bonus.
- You did?
- Oh, surely did.
There's been a bit of a change of a plan,
and we're gonna talk that over with you.
- This has got a hole in it.
- Ain't' gonna make no never-mind when you go to spend it.
Yeah, I tell ya, boy,
we're a little pressed for time.
If you don't mind, we're gonna
get right down to the point.
Well, I guess that does it.
I appreciate it.
You know, it was sort of an emergency.
So here's $200.
That oughta cover your expenses.
- But that's too much. I can't accept this.
- Ah, you keep it. You earned it.
Come here. You're a good boy.
But I wanna tell you somethin'.
If you ever breathe a word of this
to anybody, I'm gonna find you...
and I'm gonna make
a necktie out of your tongue.
- You understand?
- Perfectly.
Stay healthy, kid.
Scooter, drive safe now, boy, you hear?
I surely will, sir.
Don't you worry about a thing.
Why do you want to turn right, Rudi?
- Because Hunnicutt's gonna try to get outta the state.
- Well, how do you figure that?
If it was me tryin' to run from the hit,
I'd stay on the roads I knew.
I need a hit man, they send me
a man who watches Captain Kangaroo.
You tryin' to get cute
or somethin', Rudi?
No. I'm tryin' to tell you
that I make the goddamn decisions here.
- You think he knows the roads? Which way did he go?
- This way. There he is.
- What's that?
- That's him.
Smile, R.J., Smile.
You're on Candid Camera.
- You're not R.J.
- No. I'm Scooter Davis.
Where's R.J.? Now you answer me fast,
or I'll blow your goddamn nose backwards for ya.
- Well, he took the truck.
- What truck?
The Honey Dew truck, makin' the run north.
He said there was a new route.
- Which way was he headin' last you saw him?
- North on 341.
Okay, Scooter, now, if you want to blow out
the candles on your next birthday cake...
- you forget you ever saw me here.
- You're a complete stranger as far as I'm concerned.
You're a smart fella. Yeah.
I tell you, right here's the smartest place
in the whole world I could be right now.
Ridin' in this truck.
We're gonna be clear to Chicago
before anybody knows anything.
First we gotta bust up
that poison back there.
Oh, we gonna do it, honey. You can bust
every bottle yourself, if you feel like it.
Knowin' you, if it wasn't for us, you'd probably
sell it before you got to Okeechobee.
- Now, Harley, come on. That ain't fair.
- No, Harley. That ain't fair.
Well, we can't be too far behind.
Well, we better not be. Uncle Angie's gonna
be plenty pissed if we blow this one, Rudi.
Look, Carl,
nobody's blowin' nothin'.
So just cool it and-and think positive,
like Norman Vincent Peale.
Who?
The guy with the correspondence course.
- You mean, you never heard of him?
- No.
He was very famous
in the mind racket, you know.
Oh, what the hell am I explainin'
to you for?
Hey. There they are up ahead!
Look. There's the truck, Rudi!
- Where will you be?
- Canada, I expect.
You and your mama can sell the bottom land.
I'll put it in her name.
Maybe in a year or two,
we can start all over again in Hawaii.
Oh, now, honey, Hawaii is hog heaven:
golden, sandy beaches...
coconut palms, picture-book sunsets...
not to mention the beautiful tan
you can get.
I tell ya, baby, life on the islands
is one big luau.
Well, you just send me
some postcards.
Better not start doin' the hula yet, R.J.
That same ultra-marine blue Caprice Classic
convertible is on our tail again.
How'd he get the tires fixed so fast?
Ah, they brought a pit crew
along with 'em.
- You sure that's the same one?
- Dead sure.
We haven't got a chance.
- Pull up alongside the driver, Rudi.
- Gotcha.
I'll pierce his ears for him.
Well, hang loose, R.J.
May not be able to outrun 'em...
but we can sure hell give a try
at outdrivin' 'em.
They're tryin' to outflank us.
But we got 'em covered in that department.
R.J., I can't see outta that busted mirror.
You keep a lookout on that side, huh?
- It ain't no use.
- Huh?
Well, move over, then, and I'll look out.
Come on. Quick.
He won't let me get past him,
the bastard.
Just-Just keep the car
nice and steady.
Now it's their turn
for a few flat tires.
It ain't no use.
Nancy Sue, gimme one of the guns.
They're in the glove compartment
of the station wagon, Harley. I'm sorry.
Sorry don't get the hay, and ya don't
sell the calf before the cow runs dry.
R.J., gimme that special
Honey Dew bottle opener of yours.
Um-
- Hey, gimme your shirt.
- What for?
- Never mind what for. Just gimme it.
- I'm wearin' my shirt.
- Didn't ask what you were doin' with it. I said give it to me.
- It ain't no use.
Daughter!
No, those goddamn mud
flaps keep gettin' in my way, Rudi.
Sure. Sure, Carl-
just like the last time in Memphis...
when the goddamn sun
kept gettin' in your eyes.
- Lay off me about Memphis.
- Okay, Carl. Okay.
We all make mistakes.
Here, honey.
Get it on you.
Cover yourself up.
- Okay. Come on over here. Take the wheel.
- Go down.
- Okay, you're doin' fine.
- All right.
- Don't let 'em get around us.
- Mm-hmm.
- Look at me, quick.
- Huh? Mmm. You be careful!
Uh-huh.
They're all nuts, I'm tellin' ya.
They're nuts!
Rudi!
Get back!
Is it still the mud flaps, Carl?
Mud flaps?
I don't wanna hear any more about mud flaps.
You just keep the car pointin' that way
and shut up about mud flaps!
- No, no. Not that.
- Stop it. Your dad's busy.
Girls, girls, come on!
Come in the trailer right now!
All right.
Let's go.
Rudi, watch out! He's got the whole case.
- I can't breathe!
- That's the best news I've had all day.
Rudi! Rudi!
Over here,
you stupid, Captain Kangaroo bastard, you!
- Drive on, daughter. Get me outta here!
- Listen, Harley's up there!
Did you see that?
Did you see what I did?
Mmm. Mmm.
Well, that son of a bitch.
He's gonna sell that stuff anyhow, ain't he?
- Daddy.
- Well...
I guess you better hitch a ride up to Pahokee Pass
and catch a bus back to Ochopee.
Hey-y-y-y.
Well, hi, Harley.
Had a busy day
on the highway.
Oh, daddy's gonna get it now.
Harley promise me
you'll give up bootleggin'.
- Aw, honey.
- Oh, come on.
We can sell off my part of the bottlin' plant,
and we can set you up with a garage.
You're so handy with cars,
it'd be more fun than it would work. -
Harley, are you listenin' to me?
- Sure, uh, we'll talk about it.
- When?
In a minute.
Hey, Hey.
- Huh?
- Hey, listen.
When, as soon as we get back
with the copper tubin'...
- we gotta go back and pick up that sugar I stashed for ya.
- Okay.
- You gonna do all that today?
- Sure.
- Hey, don't you fellas know that Weeki Wacnee County is dry?
- Well, what do you know!
You gotta spread that happiness.
Sure.