Too Old for Fairy Tales 2 (2024) Movie Script
1
Come on already!
- 'Sup, Staszek! Hi, Delfina!
- Hi.
Waldek!
We're off to the middle of nowhere.
I'm not thrilled, but I want Mom to rest.
She's been working too much
since her treatment ended.
At least I can go with my team.
What's with you?
He's basking in the glory.
Hey, leave him alone.
It's okay to be proud
of your achievements. Well done.
This is Piotr.
Mom's boyfriend.
Yo, homie.
He's also a student.
He studies the teen slang dictionary.
It's dope how you sorted it out.
I mean the tournament, so... respect.
The one from 30 years ago.
On top of that,
he's also an amateur climbing enthusiast.
Staszek, go left.
- Delfina and I will go straight.
- Got it.
- Get him from the side!
- Got him! He's down.
Staszek, behind you!
- Damn.
- Staszek, please!
- No!
- Why did you go down?
- Sorry.
- I'm going from the side. We can do it.
Okay, I'm coming.
Hey, hello!
Maybe I could play with you one day?
Get me one of them fancy jackets too.
I'm not really amused by his jokes.
Unfortunately, my mom is.
Staszek, it's your dad. Hello.
Teresa, I just want to say
that if Staszek causes any trouble...
No! What trouble?
I'm glad Auntie invited
all of them to see her fly.
They'll have a break from computers.
I can't wait to meet
that cool aunt of yours.
I wouldn't be so eager if I were you.
Staszek, remember.
Big jokes, small brain. Bye.
Bye.
TOO OLD FOR FAIRY TALES 2
Hey! Grab a few more things!
Okay.
Sorry.
It's got to be here,
across the Zakopianka River.
Oh my God! Jeez.
- It's okay. Good boy.
- You're calming him? What about me?
Well, he got scared
because horses can feel your fear.
It can make them aggressive.
Go on, pet him.
- As if! I'd rather stay away from horses.
- There, lovely.
My cousin got kicked by a horse
in her cheek 30 years ago.
She still has a dent in her face.
- Have I met her?
- Not yet.
Like my old man would say,
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
Hi. Come on up.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Laptop.
Hello.
Hi.
Laptop.
Waldek.
Laptop!
- Hi!
- Hi.
Are you up and running again?
I'm healthy, and I want to live that way.
But I'm here to relax. I promise.
So this is...
- Piotrek?
- Yes, Auntie. This is Piotrek.
Hi. It's a pleasure.
- Teresa told me a lot about you, Auntie.
- I'm not your auntie.
Right. I'm being too direct, too soon.
I'm sorry.
Watch out.
Hey, if you hurt her,
I'll personally kick your butt.
Thank you.
Chill. She's actually pretty cool.
You'll see.
Swag. For sure, homie.
Drop everything and let's go.
We're going to see
the Witkiewicz and Pod Jedlami villas,
the Hasior Gallery, the Gsienica Cottage,
the Tatra Museum,
and the Pksowy Brzyzek Cemetery.
We'll be sightseeing at a cemetery?
What an adventure.
I can't wait.
- Mine is on the left!
- No!
It's mine!
Waldek, are you okay?
Don't worry, Mom!
It wasn't me. It was Staszek.
Nice trip, isn't it?
Yeah, beautiful.
So beautiful.
That's why I'm going to fly down.
And you can walk down.
And that's how Auntie and I will end up
at that Pksowy something Cemetery.
The scenery is outstanding.
Dreamy.
Yeah, dreamy.
Waldek.
You look more mature.
Yup. Puberty hit you like a ton of bricks.
It's normal, you know.
A young person's body changes and matures.
New urges emerge.
What urges, Auntie?
What urges? Sex, for example.
It's a rhetorical question.
No need to answer.
You're scared?
No, but I still have to fly in tandem,
and I hate letting others control my life.
That's not my style.
You'll control your life
when you finish the course.
Come, Waldi. Let's run.
We'll miss Auntie's flight.
Why are we following them anyway?
- They're just walking.
- Hush! Not just walking. You'll see.
Wait up.
The thing is,
when I saw you for the first time, I...
I envisaged that we'd...
reach the top together.
I mean, not in a cable car,
but on foot. Together.
Never mind. The thing is...
The view is beautiful.
And you're also beautiful.
Yup, I should be
a relationship life coach. Seriously.
Teresa, will...
Teresa, will you...
No!
No!
Piotrek.
There's something that's stressing me out.
- He's here.
- What?
He's here.
He?
Who is "he"?
Who are they talking about?
Who?
Him!
- Right.
- Get it?
I get it. Calm down.
If it's stressing you out,
we can say that I ate some sheep cheese
and got diarrhea, and we'll go home.
Hey...
Are they talking about your old man?
I mean, your dad.
They're really talking about my dad.
Am I overreacting?
He's in Ciche Czarne.
We shouldn't run into each other.
I'm getting paranoid. It's ridiculous.
It makes no sense.
So if it wasn't for Piotrek,
your mom would let you see your dad?
If she wanted to let me,
she'd have done it a long time ago.
She treats me like a little kid.
What do we do?
We?
- Well, you want to meet him, right?
- You're not looking for him alone.
Bro, Piotrek seems keen to be your dad,
but don't be fooled.
He cares about your mom, not you.
He'll never let you meet your father.
- Men are butting heads.
- Piotr is not and will never be your dad.
The real one is somewhere here.
You have a chance to find him.
You can finally fill the void
in your heart.
- The black hole...
- Okay.
Waldek.
Shall we go look for your dad?
Great.
We'll get some food from the kitchen
once everyone's gone to sleep.
You'll leave at 2 a.m.
I'll stay and make stuff up,
so they don't look for you.
Leave to go where?
I don't even know what his name is,
what he looks like, or where he lives.
In Ciche Czarne?
What does it even mean?
Bro! City boys.
Well...
Ciche Czarne is a place.
A village.
Okay. Let me mark it on your map.
Guys.
I put two apples in the backpack.
Okay, Mommy.
Stop clowning around. Focus.
Ciche Czarne. Follow the map.
Avoid populated areas.
You're overdoing it.
Okay. Chill your beans. We'll find him.
It's no more than 13 miles.
Let's go.
Dude, watch out.
We'd better avoid people around here.
I talked to Mom earlier.
She lied to me.
It's nothing new,
but she accidentally said his name.
It's Krzysiek. Weird, right?
A name like any other.
Weird that I didn't know
my father's name before.
Gentlemen, relax.
- Let go!
- What are you doing?
What's your problem?
Get off him!
Calm down, people!
Will you calm down?
Come here.
A highlander tradition.
Should be on the UNESCO list.
Veni, Vidi, Vici, get 'em!
Throw the bun!
Come on!
Not sure what I prefer.
Getting mauled by dogs or zombies.
Come on.
Come on.
Dude, what are you doing?
We fell asleep.
Dude, it's 5:03 a.m.?
We're three hours behind schedule.
Let's go.
And last night, you know...
What?
- I won't tell anyone how scared you were.
- Scared? Me?
Glad you were by my side.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have made it.
Man!
Stop it!
Stop!
Calm down, hothead.
I'm just joking around.
What's your problem?
Wow!
Edelweiss!
No way.
Persian speedwell.
Alpine cinquefoil!
My word, what incredible specimens!
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Boys...
Are you here on your own?
No. His dad is waiting for us.
- Where?
- Ahead.
Nice one. "Dad's waiting for us."
Holy moly!
Well, I don't know
if your dad's waiting for us, Waldi.
But... if you meet him,
what will be the first thing you ask him?
How many LPs he has in LOL.
"Nice to meet you, Dad.
Did you get out of Silver in CS?"
"Most importantly,
what's your CPS?"
Or if he likes to cook,
what's his favorite french fry sauce.
Or why he left me.
"...for a charity cause of their choosing.
The court can decide..."
CIVIL CODE
Thank you, but I don't suffer
from rheumatism.
I know, but I was worried
Piotrek might suffer from egocentrism.
What year of your law degree are you in?
Second.
Second?
And how old are you?
Isn't it nice, Auntie,
that your falling course...
I mean, paragliding course,
has no age restrictions?
She's pretty cool. You'll see.
For sure, homie.
Let's take a shortcut.
Come on!
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
- At last!
Where's the rest of the crew?
I tried to wake them up,
but they're sleeping like hills. Boulders.
I mean, rocks.
- Scrambled eggs?
- Yes, please.
Why are they still sleeping?
Did you game all night?
Oh yeah.
On what, I wonder?
On my laptop.
I took it last night.
I'm sorry. It's an addiction.
Waldek, Staszek, wake up!
But they're exhausted, ma'am.
Auntie, it's vacation. Let them rest.
They'll have more energy for hiking.
What? No lazing around.
We're off as soon as they're up.
We should have followed the route.
You could have told me!
My legs are freezing!
- You're not tough enough.
- Yeah, right.
You'd shower under a waterfall
and shave your bushy beard with an axe.
Is that a bear?
Climb a tree!
Staszek!
Come on!
Faster!
Chill.
Maybe this bear isn't that tall.
Waldek!
Is it there? Waldi!
This is the end!
Did you break a sweat, tough guy?
What? You've got an apple.
- Not my fault you threw yours away.
- And who told me to?
Someone who saved your life?
I have strong instincts.
Right, sorry. So silly of me to think
that you just had strong egocentrism.
Fine.
Here.
Where does he live?
We're in the wild,
and it's getting wilder.
Delfina.
I told them that you're sleeping
after a night of gaming.
They bought it, so there's a chance
that nobody will be looking for you
until lunch.
Where are you?
- How was last night?
- Last night? Cool.
We slept in coffins,
and we chased away a bear.
Yeah, right.
Very funny. I'm asking for real. How far...
Hello?
Hello! Can you hear me?
Hello? Delfina?
The battery's dead.
So is mine.
No map, then.
Can you hear me?
Are they sleeping?
Went for a morning jog, did they?
Yeah.
- And there's no signal downtown?
- Yeah.
You think I'm an idiot?
- Yeah. I mean...
- Excuse me.
What's going on?
Come.
- They're looking for the father.
- The father?
What father? Here?
We could've gone anywhere,
but you wanted the Tatras, Auntie...
I am not your Auntie.
- I bet you were Auntie to Krzysztof.
- What Krzysztof?
The one who lives here,
but should live with his son.
How did the boys find out?
Why did they go alone?
It's not as if I helped them.
- Exactly!
- Exactly!
- When did they leave?
- Around two.
- Two? It's only ten.
- At 2:00 a.m.
Dagnabbit! Shitake mushrooms!
Holy cow! For Pete's sake!
Calm down.
They're fine. I just talked to them.
They slept in coffins,
showered in Siklawa Falls,
and chased away a bear. It's all cool.
Just kidding about Siklawa.
It's not funny! Do you know
what will happen if Teresa finds out?
Shush!
She won't find out.
We won't tell her.
We'll look for them ourselves.
Imagine if she found out.
That scaremonger would totally freak out.
She's fragile and delicate.
She shouldn't get stressed.
She's supposed to be resting.
- They'll sleep through the whole day.
- They're not here.
Staszek took Waldek for a morning jog.
Seriously. For real.
They didn't want to miss out
on a beautiful day and fresh air.
Why didn't you go?
Because...
I'm indisposed.
How about a ladies' spa day?
Okay.
Spa it is, then.
You and me. Total relaxation.
I'm ready. I have everything we need.
Calm your body and mind.
Relax your head, neck, and shoulders.
Relax your liver, pancreas,
stomach, gallbladder,
and large intestine.
Relax your knees and kneecaps,
and your feet
all the way to your toenails.
Total relaxation...
- Are you sure it's Ciche Czarne?
- I marked it on their map.
They left at night, so we're far behind,
but we can't take shortcuts.
We'll take the same route
in case they stopped somewhere.
Is this really necessary?
Are you coming or not?
You can stay
and relax your ovaries with Teresa.
We'll keep in touch.
Remember that Teresa can't find out
about any of it.
Stay low.
Low. Right.
Why are you so tense? Stay low, I said.
I think we're going the right way.
It can't be far now.
Yeah, I think so.
What if it gets dark?
I'm sure we'll find him before dusk.
If not, I'll find a safe shelter for us.
The cogs are turning.
What if there's a storm?
We'll hide under a tree.
Under a tree during a storm?
That's some cogs
you've got turning, all right.
Staszek...
Come on! Soon you'll be able
to ask your father anything you want.
What are you doing?
I just realized
that I have nothing to ask him.
- I don't care about him.
- There's a word for this.
Chicken.
Hey!
Beard like Piotr's.
Your mom's into the lumberjack type.
Would you like some oscypek sheep cheese?
You inherited his culinary taste.
Come on.
You don't have to admit
that you're his son or ask any questions.
Allow yourself to get to know him.
Decide what you want while tasting.
Yes, please! Thank you!
Your auntie would like these.
So that's how oscypek cheese is made.
Everything's regulated by the EU now.
Specific conditions and such.
Oscypeks from the store
don't have the same aroma.
They lack this particular highland flavor.
This can't be my father.
I don't have the grossness gene.
So, you're a highlander
that appreciated tradition?
I'm no highlander. I've been living
in Tatra Mountains for 10 or 11 years.
I got tired of the big city pressure
and the chase after God knows what.
After God knows what?
How about after your little boy
taking his first steps?
Kids, yuck.
Family, ugh.
Besides, I've never been brave with women.
Yup. Especially the ones I really liked.
Like?
Like...
feisty ones, with strong personalities.
I haven't met many of them in Sosnowiec.
Big city pressure in Sosnowiec?
And my inability
to strike up a conversation.
I can hold
a relationship coaching session with you.
- That's my thing.
- Yes, please.
- All right then, so...
- Enough!
Have you ever been to Warsaw?
Do you know Teresa Bana?
Did you abandon your family?
Son...
Here's the answer to your three questions.
No. Never been to Warsaw.
Don't know any Bana.
Didn't abandon my family.
I didn't have one.
Right.
This one will be better.
You could eat it in one bite.
Right, beefy boy?
And some cranberries.
Slice.
And dice.
There it is!
I'll introduce you to my friend.
My best friend and best employee.
Janusz!
Janusz!
- Hey, come!
- Come, doggy!
Hey. You're great, Janusz.
A dog?
What about people?
Don't you feel lonely here?
Yeah, I do.
But you can be lonely around people,
even in the big city.
Here, I can at least pretend
that my loneliness,
my lack of someone close,
is my choice.
So you're lying to yourself? That's wack.
Making up pretty fairy tales
about not-so-pretty reality
to make one's life easier
is a type of lie.
The fourth type.
- Why fourth?
- I know the first three from my grandpa.
But you remind me of someone else.
Move it!
Waldek might've climbed up here
being chased by a bear.
Yeah, quite possibly.
I think they were rescued
by a company of minks.
- Seems like someone doesn't like me.
- No. How come?
Just a feeling.
Dagnabbit.
Teresa went through a lot.
I won't let some immature little...
I'm a year younger than her.
One year.
Two years ago, I got into law school.
- Full-time, no connections.
- Okay! After all, you seem to be in love.
And you're looking for her son. After all.
- Exactly!
- After all!
Yes! After all, I am!
Piotrek!
Piotrek!
I'm sorry.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry.
I don't think I got that.
I'm sorry.
Apology accepted.
But don't call me Auntie. Call me Mariola.
For sure, homie.
I'm not the only one
who's all alone around here.
There's another man nearby.
I don't know him,
but I think he ditched the city too.
I've got a question.
Can you take us to him?
Sure! How could I say no
to the fans of my oscypek cheese?
I'll give you one of each
of a different flavor. My own recipe.
You'll try what I call
the long-maturing oscypek sheep cheese.
He lives that way. I don't see him often,
but my sheep graze by his house.
- Maybe he's in witness protection.
- Huh?
Snitched on the Mafia boss,
and now the Mafia wants to...
get him.
Right.
But they won't find him out here.
He changed his house and name.
Left his old life behind.
That would explain a lot.
He must be brave
if he snitched on a Mafia boss.
That I didn't get from him.
We must part ways, love.
Sadly, forever.
It's for your safety.
Tell Waldu...
my dream-come-true baby.
My beautiful, perfect little boy,
whom I wanted so much,
that he'll be forever in my heart.
That I really wanted
to hear his first words.
To hear him say "mommy," "daddy,"
"granny," "grandpa,"
"meow-meow,"
"woof-woof," or that he needs to poo.
I wish I could walk him to school
and English lessons,
and go with him to gaming tournaments.
Do you like your oscypek cheese?
He would like to go
to gaming tournaments with me.
Sure.
The witness protection thing
is one of my many theories.
Maybe he is in witness protection,
or maybe he's not.
Maybe he's just a loner, like me.
Ditched the city, people, and son
to live close to nature in a derelict hut?
Wait till you see his hut.
Relax your big toes and little toes.
Feel peace.
Feel that your entire body is relaxed.
Delfina and I go right.
Staszek, you go left.
Okay.
- Shoot!
- You've got him in the crosshairs!
Dang! He got away.
You're down already?
How did you do it?
Sorry. Okay, I'm staying here.
You're already dead?
Darn...
I'm beg...
I'm begging you, not now!
Darn it!
Yes! Good. It's good.
Nice hut.
If you don't like your dad
when you see him,
we'll say we're carolers or something.
Why on earth bring such contraptions
to the bosom of nature?
Shepherds came to Bethlehem that holy day
For the baby Jesus...
Praise the Heavens
Praise the Heavens
May there be peace on Earth
Praise the Heavens...
Good sense of humor.
You take after Mom. I'm quite a grump.
I knew one day you'd find and visit me,
but not with these companions.
What do you mean, sir? You knew?
Since the shepherds have come, welcome.
Shoes.
Gentlemen, please be careful.
It's quite valuable.
It's a gift from my Japanese partners.
Ditched the city,
yet brought it all with him.
Excuse me?
Why leave the city
and bring all this here?
Exactly. Why?
Can I talk to my son about it first?
He said he'd talk to his son?
I'm under the impression
that you're here only as a companion.
Father and son.
Dad and I.
Krzysztof must really be my...
He's...
He's a jerk.
Sorry I talked you into looking for him.
Would you like a drink?
Are you hungry?
They had my oscypek cheese on the way.
The long-maturing one.
So I guess not.
Well, I could have some... dessert.
I'm an aficionado of Japanese culture,
art, cuisine,
and the wonderful idea of collectivism.
That means collaboration
for the benefit of all.
It's fascinating.
Culture or not,
but the table is too low.
My legs hurt.
Right. Let's get to the point.
We came here for a reason.
Waldek.
You wanted to ask some important questions
and get some important answers, right?
Did...
Did you get out of Silver in CS, sir?
I used to be in Global,
but I dropped to LEM due to a weak team.
I've recently installed an aimbot.
I think that'll work well.
Ha! There it goes!
And the lawn isn't mowed!
Technology surpassed the man.
Come here!
Come on!
Regarding the aimbot...
I was just kidding.
Come on.
Me, a lead game designer, cheating?
What's up?
You're worried he'll win her back?
No, I'm worried about Waldek.
That he'll be disappointed.
What if he meets Krzysztof and discovers
that they have nothing in common?
A game designer?
My father works in...
You work in Esports, sir?
No. I do not.
I am a god in the gaming industry.
Don't scatter! Come here! Inside!
Now, that's what I call a lawnmower!
Yeah, except it leaves droppings behind.
Or do you whistle
to call the flies to eat them?
Sir, does it mean you design games?
Don't run away! Get back!
Even Robot Rampage.
The tournaments you won
in Cologne and in Katowice.
I must say, I was proud of you a bit.
Wait. I'm lost, man.
Are you his father or stalker?
Sir, could you show me
how you work and stuff?
Call me Krzysiek.
Better that than "Daddy."
Waldek!
Come on! Waldi!
Waldi!
This is too much.
What do you think of him?
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
This is where I work.
I draw and design over there.
That's where I test everything I create.
It's also my entertainment zone.
I like to play too.
So much space! So many screens!
All these games...
- You create them yourself?
- No.
A whole bunch of people work on them.
I just manage the teams from here.
I send them concepts,
and they animate and develop them.
I tell them what I like and what I don't,
what needs improving,
and they fix it the way I tell them to.
"The way I tell them to."
Why did you leave me?
Your mom's decision to break up
was very hard for me, but...
you have to know that sometimes...
people drift away.
I respected that.
It was Mom's decision?
That you're not with us?
Everyone can make their own decisions,
including her.
Nevertheless,
I've been following
your gaming tournaments for years.
I'm interested
in things important to you, so...
it's like I'm interested in you too.
Liar, liar, hands on fire.
As my dad would say.
Pants. This boomer saying goes,
"Liar, liar, pants on fire."
Does he often say stuff like that?
Often.
At breakfast, lunch and dinner
that we eat together, so I know them all.
He's my companion, you know.
Always accompanying me.
So?
All he does with you
in watching soccer and kicking the ball.
What are you saying?
I have a cool dad,
and you're just jealous.
You want to ruin it for me?
I totally don't get you.
So...
I've been experiencing
a creative block lately.
I can't figure something out.
Potential investors from Japan
are coming in two days.
I was supposed to show them
a solid concept, but I've got nothing.
Maybe you could help me?
Those who make guests take their shoes off
are as common as old shoes.
Wait! What about your friend?
- Friend?
- Yeah?
My boomer dad's saying number 121.
"Where business takes place
friendship has no space."
But I don't think his dad
has anything to do with the Mafia.
- Okay, we'll come back for him.
- No way. I definitely won't.
Maybe his family,
whom he doesn't appreciate, will.
I'm done covering for him.
Very good!
And I'm not mowing anyone's lawn for free!
For Pete's sake!
I forgot my sheep. Janusz!
Anybody in there?
You could use a helmet after all.
Look how pretty they are.
Yeah, very pretty.
Cranberries, Piotrek.
The red stuff is cranberries.
Right.
I've grown to like you, boy.
I'll be sending you oranges
in the loony bin.
- Thank you.
- Right. Move it!
- Watch out for...
- Ouch!
There.
No.
Delfina!
I can't reach anyone.
The boys' phones are off.
Auntie and Piotrek are not answering.
Auntie... I mean, Ms. Mariola
is flying around.
Today?
- Piotrek!
- Mr. Piotr is not here. He went... swimming.
Swimming?
Waldek! Staszek!
Maybe they didn't take their phones?
Staszek is with Mr. Piotr and Waldek...
Yes! Good. It's good.
Waldek, sweetie. Can I come in?
Darn it! I'm begging you, not now!
Yes! Good. It's good.
Delfina, I think Waldek is...
exercising right now, so maybe...
he'd rather be left alone, I think.
Let's just leave him there.
As always, we finish with
our favorite local botanist
who will tell us what's currently
blooming in the Tatra Mountains,
and who experienced something unusual.
Didn't you, Rysiu?
Yes. Good afternoon.
I'm glad to report this because...
A cold drink will help.
...could've been the end of me.
I thought it was.
I was looking at pygmy buttercups
and fragrant orchids.
Flora of the upper mountains
is astounding this time of year.
Edelweiss, Persian speedwell,
alpine cinquefoil...
Let's show the viewers the footage.
Waldek?
Holy moly!
I crossed the road and got a surprise.
Holy moly!
I barely made it out alive.
What should we do in such a situation?
I'm sure he just passed the boys.
Rysiu, not the bear.
I mean, the bear too.
I'm sure it followed Rysiu,
not Staszek and Waldek.
They went to the High Tatras.
...and walk away very slowly
to avoid startling the bear.
Calmness and composure.
No way. Come on.
I can help.
I checked all the routes for them.
Stop!
Giddy up!
Come on!
- Go!
- My carriage!
- Where's Waldek?
- What's happened?
Physically, he's fine.
Can't say the same for his mind.
He's at his dad's.
The self-absorbed manipulator
and capitalist bloodsucker.
Also an avid gamer and game designer.
Going to the mountains by yourselves?
What a stupid idea!
Mountains are dangerous.
Going to the mountains alone?
What a stupid idea!
Mountains are dangerous.
Did you even think
about your safety or Teresa?
She'd fall to pieces if she found out
what you were doing here.
She's fragile and delicate.
She's so fragile. She is.
Pick up the pace!
You're moving like a cow!
Two irresponsible lambs and a shepherd.
- Does she have a husband?
- Nope. No one would handle it.
Where exactly is Waldek?
Where is that bloodsucker's house?
You should've called the police.
You found them wandering,
and you did nothing?
It was stupid. Do you understand?
Stupid. And irresponsible.
If only I knew how to steal her heart.
You didn't act right.
But...
But you carve beautiful birds.
Really beautiful.
Right.
Let's go.
How can I talk to her?
I'll invite her to oscypek tasting.
Better not.
Ms. Mariola is lactose intolerant.
- There's barely any lactose in them.
- Listen, man. Stick with the birds.
- Hey! Will you take us to Waldek or not?
- Let's go.
No wonder
you didn't get lucky in Sosnowiec.
But no worries. Mariola is weird.
Maybe she'll be into your kookiness.
We'll turn it into your asset.
Giddy up!
So, the game mechanics are okay,
but I can't find a strong concept
for a new world.
It should be spectacular, fresh...
But I don't know where to find it.
I don't know.
How about under your nose?
The best things in life are the nearest.
All it takes is to notice them.
Wait till you see
the prototype that my team is making.
The investors' jaws will drop.
Does it mean your game
will include what I came up with?
My idea?
Did you mean "our game"?
It's all based on your idea.
It's all about getting achievements
without unnecessary grinding.
As your dim friend's dad
would lamely put it,
"From zero to hero."
So? What do you think?
That I need to use the bathroom.
You have a horse?
A highlander chariot has arrived.
Don't ever do that again.
Don't you ever do that again.
Sorry. I had to tell.
Your mom threatened to kill me.
She's doing it again.
You haven't changed a bit.
Still as beautiful. Wanna come in?
- No, we're going back.
- What do you mean, Mom?
I found my dad,
and we're just gonna leave?
Teresa, can we talk like adults?
All those years ago, we were adults too.
- Let's go, Waldek.
- No!
- Waldek!
- No!
Would you like some sushi or green tea?
Waldek and I spent
a fun few hours together, didn't we?
We designed things together.
I showed him my games.
Your games?
We have common interests.
Darling, I get that...
Was it you who decided
that Krzysiek wouldn't be living with us?
Yes.
That's wack.
You see, Waldek...
You have to understand that everyone
has the right to decide for themselves.
Don't you tell him what to understand.
Why not? You kicked him out.
He wasn't there to explain.
Darling, let's go home.
I'll explain everything.
I'll answer all your questions, okay?
We have another guest.
Stop.
Maybe it's carolers.
I'm running out of sushi.
I'll have to get some hors d'oeuvre.
Aunt Mariolka, as I live and breathe!
I'm not your aunt.
Is Waldek here?
And...
Teresa, darling! Hi.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here? Without me?
Let me point out
that you're actually here.
How did you get here before us?
In a highlander chariot.
Stop with the jokes.
This is not the right time for jokes.
Don't you tell me what the right time is.
What are you doing? Hey! What?
- Still pushing men out the door?
- Let's go, Waldek.
- Teresa, I decided not to tell you. Sorry.
- No, it was me. I'm sorry.
- It was me.
- No, me.
- I'm sorry...
- It was my idea!
Darling, I'm very sorry.
Let's calmly discuss it
back at the guesthouse.
- Waldek, let's go.
- I'm not going.
I have a game presentation to do.
I'm staying.
With my father.
Teresa...
I'd like Waldek to stay for two days.
Just two days, okay?
He needs me.
And I need him.
Like my old man would say,
"No love will come of it."
Hey, Mr. Shepherd!
There's more fish in the sea!
He's a cool weirdo, but...
he's shy with women.
Same here.
It was a mistake.
I wouldn't have left Waldek there.
He has the right to get to know him.
Maybe Krzysztof has changed. If not...
Waldek has to find out himself.
I can't protect him.
Wow! That's new.
- We should've taken him...
- You're making decisions about my son.
You didn't tell me he was gone,
and you want me to take him from his dad.
Dad?! Do you hear yourself?
Biological father, at best.
Fine, he's not his dad. Neither are you.
Can you stop?
Stop.
I'll walk.
Come on! Giddy up!
Could Staszek and I
go back to Warsaw by train tomorrow?
We can manage on our own.
It got a bit too...
I know.
It's not nice here.
Waldek isn't nice.
I'm not going to defend him
if he mistreated you,
but at the moment, he's a bit...
confused.
He's back!
It wouldn't be good if he disappeared now.
So? Let's go to sleep.
Can you give Waldek more time?
He'll soon fall off cloud nine, and...
it might be a painful fall.
This game will be played in duos,
so two players are needed to win.
Otherwise, no dice.
Okay, that's clear. What about swords?
Will everyone's sword be the same length?
Well, yeah...
Waldi.
Look what I got you.
Look what arrived.
Today is the big day.
You have to look your best.
But first, work. Let's go.
Come on. Chop-chop.
Come on. Hurry up.
We worked on this project day and night.
It was a lot of work,
but we've got a great gameplay core.
But there was a moment of crisis.
A game is a tale. It's a story.
We didn't have a concept
for an interesting world.
That's when I got it.
I got the brilliant idea to set the game
in a world of cybernetic robot samurai.
I found the inspiration deep inside of me.
Hold on.
No, Mom. Please.
All right, then. Let's move on.
Piotrek?
I thought you were gone for good.
Okay, I get it.
I'm sorry.
Sorry. I promise this was the last time
I've misjudged you. I'm sorry.
Waldek's presentation.
Waldek is...
disappointed.
That's all. Thanks for your attention.
I hope we can move on to negotiations.
Do you want to go home?
Yes, but not yet.
Maybe don't bother talking to him.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Are your interpreting earphones on?
Excuse me, I don't think you were invited.
I wasn't, but this gentleman was.
He was even invited to collaborate.
Copyright.
If you wish to invest
in the development of this game,
you can't leave this young man
out of the deal, as did this...
capitalist bloodsucker
who knows nothing about collectivism.
Perhaps it'll be best
if you talk in private.
Why did you dupe me?
You didn't say
that we worked together, and I...
Together or not,
it's the result that counts.
The investors wouldn't like the idea
of a kid on the team.
I calculated the risk, and it was too big.
Remember, it's my career
we're talking about.
I've heard this before. How did it go?
"I'll be honest with you, Teresa.
I'm not sure about us."
When I got sick and thought I'd die,
you contemplated
if I was worth risking your career.
Let's go.
And if I was worth it.
Hey!
You're worth everything.
You too.
Too bad you're not a gangster.
In witness protection, I mean.
There goes the fairy tale
about a gangster
who cried as he was leaving me.
There's no point lying to yourself.
Although it's a pity.
It was a beautiful tale.
Glue it back together.
- Lovely weather...
- Right. We've made space for you here.
Shush! And please, gentlemen.
Behave yourselves today.
Life is not a collection of right moments,
but moments that we make right.
What if she says no?
You better visualize full success.
Imagine her with the ring on her finger,
in ridiculous pajamas,
arguing with you
about how to squeeze the toothpaste
or scoop out butter instead of slicing it.
I also work with couples in crisis.
Staszek.
- Will you ever forgive me?
- What's to forgive?
Not defending you from Krzysiek
and acting like...
I don't remember.
I remember that Delfina and I
missed your presentation.
I deserved that.
Go!
Waldek?
Waldek, what happened?
Yes!
Call me "Auntie," but you know
what I'll do to you if you hurt Teresa?
Go!
He's staring at you.
Hi.
Wait.
He has to do this on his own.
He can do it.
Yes?
The investors agreed to do business
if I sign a fair deal with you.
That's why you came?
To sign a deal
and get money from the investors?
No. Really, no.
Listen, if you want in,
that's great.
If not,
no problem.
It doesn't work like that.
You were totally unfair towards me.
You mistreated my friends. And you were...
You still have quite a...
you know, childish priorities in life,
but you'll learn that...
Right, I'm sorry.
Okay, it's true. You're right.
I guess your buddy isn't that dim,
and I behaved a bit, well...
not cool.
But I was stressed out, you know?
Overwhelmed.
Listen, I came...
to you because I want you
to give me one more chance to be...
a father.
A dad.
We did have a good flow, didn't we?
It's your summer vacation.
I thought you'd spend one week with me.
We could play together.
I could show you some cool places.
- We'd get to know each other.
- I'll be honest.
I can't take that kind of risk,
and I'm not sure about us.
It's too much of a sacrifice.
Even for you, man.
Can I take off my helmet?
No way.
But it's hot.
"For Junior Intern Piotrek"?
PIOTR
- Well?
- Looks great.
So?
Let's go?
I can't.
You can't?
Man!
Finding out that my dad doesn't love me
was tough, really.
It'll hurt for a long time.
But I know a way to cure that pain.
I let myself be loved
by those who want to and can give me love,
who really care about me.
Wanna try flying like that?
I'm kidding. I wouldn't either.
We'll get along.
I know I'll have to keep trying, right?
Hey. Look.
Wow!
Rad!
Yes!
He doesn't have to be perfect,
as long as he's there for me.
And accompanies me.
Always.
The best things in life are the nearest.
All it takes is to notice them.
TOO OLD FOR FAIRY TALES 2
Subtitle translation by: Maja Konkolewska
Come on already!
- 'Sup, Staszek! Hi, Delfina!
- Hi.
Waldek!
We're off to the middle of nowhere.
I'm not thrilled, but I want Mom to rest.
She's been working too much
since her treatment ended.
At least I can go with my team.
What's with you?
He's basking in the glory.
Hey, leave him alone.
It's okay to be proud
of your achievements. Well done.
This is Piotr.
Mom's boyfriend.
Yo, homie.
He's also a student.
He studies the teen slang dictionary.
It's dope how you sorted it out.
I mean the tournament, so... respect.
The one from 30 years ago.
On top of that,
he's also an amateur climbing enthusiast.
Staszek, go left.
- Delfina and I will go straight.
- Got it.
- Get him from the side!
- Got him! He's down.
Staszek, behind you!
- Damn.
- Staszek, please!
- No!
- Why did you go down?
- Sorry.
- I'm going from the side. We can do it.
Okay, I'm coming.
Hey, hello!
Maybe I could play with you one day?
Get me one of them fancy jackets too.
I'm not really amused by his jokes.
Unfortunately, my mom is.
Staszek, it's your dad. Hello.
Teresa, I just want to say
that if Staszek causes any trouble...
No! What trouble?
I'm glad Auntie invited
all of them to see her fly.
They'll have a break from computers.
I can't wait to meet
that cool aunt of yours.
I wouldn't be so eager if I were you.
Staszek, remember.
Big jokes, small brain. Bye.
Bye.
TOO OLD FOR FAIRY TALES 2
Hey! Grab a few more things!
Okay.
Sorry.
It's got to be here,
across the Zakopianka River.
Oh my God! Jeez.
- It's okay. Good boy.
- You're calming him? What about me?
Well, he got scared
because horses can feel your fear.
It can make them aggressive.
Go on, pet him.
- As if! I'd rather stay away from horses.
- There, lovely.
My cousin got kicked by a horse
in her cheek 30 years ago.
She still has a dent in her face.
- Have I met her?
- Not yet.
Like my old man would say,
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
Hi. Come on up.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Laptop.
Hello.
Hi.
Laptop.
Waldek.
Laptop!
- Hi!
- Hi.
Are you up and running again?
I'm healthy, and I want to live that way.
But I'm here to relax. I promise.
So this is...
- Piotrek?
- Yes, Auntie. This is Piotrek.
Hi. It's a pleasure.
- Teresa told me a lot about you, Auntie.
- I'm not your auntie.
Right. I'm being too direct, too soon.
I'm sorry.
Watch out.
Hey, if you hurt her,
I'll personally kick your butt.
Thank you.
Chill. She's actually pretty cool.
You'll see.
Swag. For sure, homie.
Drop everything and let's go.
We're going to see
the Witkiewicz and Pod Jedlami villas,
the Hasior Gallery, the Gsienica Cottage,
the Tatra Museum,
and the Pksowy Brzyzek Cemetery.
We'll be sightseeing at a cemetery?
What an adventure.
I can't wait.
- Mine is on the left!
- No!
It's mine!
Waldek, are you okay?
Don't worry, Mom!
It wasn't me. It was Staszek.
Nice trip, isn't it?
Yeah, beautiful.
So beautiful.
That's why I'm going to fly down.
And you can walk down.
And that's how Auntie and I will end up
at that Pksowy something Cemetery.
The scenery is outstanding.
Dreamy.
Yeah, dreamy.
Waldek.
You look more mature.
Yup. Puberty hit you like a ton of bricks.
It's normal, you know.
A young person's body changes and matures.
New urges emerge.
What urges, Auntie?
What urges? Sex, for example.
It's a rhetorical question.
No need to answer.
You're scared?
No, but I still have to fly in tandem,
and I hate letting others control my life.
That's not my style.
You'll control your life
when you finish the course.
Come, Waldi. Let's run.
We'll miss Auntie's flight.
Why are we following them anyway?
- They're just walking.
- Hush! Not just walking. You'll see.
Wait up.
The thing is,
when I saw you for the first time, I...
I envisaged that we'd...
reach the top together.
I mean, not in a cable car,
but on foot. Together.
Never mind. The thing is...
The view is beautiful.
And you're also beautiful.
Yup, I should be
a relationship life coach. Seriously.
Teresa, will...
Teresa, will you...
No!
No!
Piotrek.
There's something that's stressing me out.
- He's here.
- What?
He's here.
He?
Who is "he"?
Who are they talking about?
Who?
Him!
- Right.
- Get it?
I get it. Calm down.
If it's stressing you out,
we can say that I ate some sheep cheese
and got diarrhea, and we'll go home.
Hey...
Are they talking about your old man?
I mean, your dad.
They're really talking about my dad.
Am I overreacting?
He's in Ciche Czarne.
We shouldn't run into each other.
I'm getting paranoid. It's ridiculous.
It makes no sense.
So if it wasn't for Piotrek,
your mom would let you see your dad?
If she wanted to let me,
she'd have done it a long time ago.
She treats me like a little kid.
What do we do?
We?
- Well, you want to meet him, right?
- You're not looking for him alone.
Bro, Piotrek seems keen to be your dad,
but don't be fooled.
He cares about your mom, not you.
He'll never let you meet your father.
- Men are butting heads.
- Piotr is not and will never be your dad.
The real one is somewhere here.
You have a chance to find him.
You can finally fill the void
in your heart.
- The black hole...
- Okay.
Waldek.
Shall we go look for your dad?
Great.
We'll get some food from the kitchen
once everyone's gone to sleep.
You'll leave at 2 a.m.
I'll stay and make stuff up,
so they don't look for you.
Leave to go where?
I don't even know what his name is,
what he looks like, or where he lives.
In Ciche Czarne?
What does it even mean?
Bro! City boys.
Well...
Ciche Czarne is a place.
A village.
Okay. Let me mark it on your map.
Guys.
I put two apples in the backpack.
Okay, Mommy.
Stop clowning around. Focus.
Ciche Czarne. Follow the map.
Avoid populated areas.
You're overdoing it.
Okay. Chill your beans. We'll find him.
It's no more than 13 miles.
Let's go.
Dude, watch out.
We'd better avoid people around here.
I talked to Mom earlier.
She lied to me.
It's nothing new,
but she accidentally said his name.
It's Krzysiek. Weird, right?
A name like any other.
Weird that I didn't know
my father's name before.
Gentlemen, relax.
- Let go!
- What are you doing?
What's your problem?
Get off him!
Calm down, people!
Will you calm down?
Come here.
A highlander tradition.
Should be on the UNESCO list.
Veni, Vidi, Vici, get 'em!
Throw the bun!
Come on!
Not sure what I prefer.
Getting mauled by dogs or zombies.
Come on.
Come on.
Dude, what are you doing?
We fell asleep.
Dude, it's 5:03 a.m.?
We're three hours behind schedule.
Let's go.
And last night, you know...
What?
- I won't tell anyone how scared you were.
- Scared? Me?
Glad you were by my side.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have made it.
Man!
Stop it!
Stop!
Calm down, hothead.
I'm just joking around.
What's your problem?
Wow!
Edelweiss!
No way.
Persian speedwell.
Alpine cinquefoil!
My word, what incredible specimens!
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Boys...
Are you here on your own?
No. His dad is waiting for us.
- Where?
- Ahead.
Nice one. "Dad's waiting for us."
Holy moly!
Well, I don't know
if your dad's waiting for us, Waldi.
But... if you meet him,
what will be the first thing you ask him?
How many LPs he has in LOL.
"Nice to meet you, Dad.
Did you get out of Silver in CS?"
"Most importantly,
what's your CPS?"
Or if he likes to cook,
what's his favorite french fry sauce.
Or why he left me.
"...for a charity cause of their choosing.
The court can decide..."
CIVIL CODE
Thank you, but I don't suffer
from rheumatism.
I know, but I was worried
Piotrek might suffer from egocentrism.
What year of your law degree are you in?
Second.
Second?
And how old are you?
Isn't it nice, Auntie,
that your falling course...
I mean, paragliding course,
has no age restrictions?
She's pretty cool. You'll see.
For sure, homie.
Let's take a shortcut.
Come on!
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
- At last!
Where's the rest of the crew?
I tried to wake them up,
but they're sleeping like hills. Boulders.
I mean, rocks.
- Scrambled eggs?
- Yes, please.
Why are they still sleeping?
Did you game all night?
Oh yeah.
On what, I wonder?
On my laptop.
I took it last night.
I'm sorry. It's an addiction.
Waldek, Staszek, wake up!
But they're exhausted, ma'am.
Auntie, it's vacation. Let them rest.
They'll have more energy for hiking.
What? No lazing around.
We're off as soon as they're up.
We should have followed the route.
You could have told me!
My legs are freezing!
- You're not tough enough.
- Yeah, right.
You'd shower under a waterfall
and shave your bushy beard with an axe.
Is that a bear?
Climb a tree!
Staszek!
Come on!
Faster!
Chill.
Maybe this bear isn't that tall.
Waldek!
Is it there? Waldi!
This is the end!
Did you break a sweat, tough guy?
What? You've got an apple.
- Not my fault you threw yours away.
- And who told me to?
Someone who saved your life?
I have strong instincts.
Right, sorry. So silly of me to think
that you just had strong egocentrism.
Fine.
Here.
Where does he live?
We're in the wild,
and it's getting wilder.
Delfina.
I told them that you're sleeping
after a night of gaming.
They bought it, so there's a chance
that nobody will be looking for you
until lunch.
Where are you?
- How was last night?
- Last night? Cool.
We slept in coffins,
and we chased away a bear.
Yeah, right.
Very funny. I'm asking for real. How far...
Hello?
Hello! Can you hear me?
Hello? Delfina?
The battery's dead.
So is mine.
No map, then.
Can you hear me?
Are they sleeping?
Went for a morning jog, did they?
Yeah.
- And there's no signal downtown?
- Yeah.
You think I'm an idiot?
- Yeah. I mean...
- Excuse me.
What's going on?
Come.
- They're looking for the father.
- The father?
What father? Here?
We could've gone anywhere,
but you wanted the Tatras, Auntie...
I am not your Auntie.
- I bet you were Auntie to Krzysztof.
- What Krzysztof?
The one who lives here,
but should live with his son.
How did the boys find out?
Why did they go alone?
It's not as if I helped them.
- Exactly!
- Exactly!
- When did they leave?
- Around two.
- Two? It's only ten.
- At 2:00 a.m.
Dagnabbit! Shitake mushrooms!
Holy cow! For Pete's sake!
Calm down.
They're fine. I just talked to them.
They slept in coffins,
showered in Siklawa Falls,
and chased away a bear. It's all cool.
Just kidding about Siklawa.
It's not funny! Do you know
what will happen if Teresa finds out?
Shush!
She won't find out.
We won't tell her.
We'll look for them ourselves.
Imagine if she found out.
That scaremonger would totally freak out.
She's fragile and delicate.
She shouldn't get stressed.
She's supposed to be resting.
- They'll sleep through the whole day.
- They're not here.
Staszek took Waldek for a morning jog.
Seriously. For real.
They didn't want to miss out
on a beautiful day and fresh air.
Why didn't you go?
Because...
I'm indisposed.
How about a ladies' spa day?
Okay.
Spa it is, then.
You and me. Total relaxation.
I'm ready. I have everything we need.
Calm your body and mind.
Relax your head, neck, and shoulders.
Relax your liver, pancreas,
stomach, gallbladder,
and large intestine.
Relax your knees and kneecaps,
and your feet
all the way to your toenails.
Total relaxation...
- Are you sure it's Ciche Czarne?
- I marked it on their map.
They left at night, so we're far behind,
but we can't take shortcuts.
We'll take the same route
in case they stopped somewhere.
Is this really necessary?
Are you coming or not?
You can stay
and relax your ovaries with Teresa.
We'll keep in touch.
Remember that Teresa can't find out
about any of it.
Stay low.
Low. Right.
Why are you so tense? Stay low, I said.
I think we're going the right way.
It can't be far now.
Yeah, I think so.
What if it gets dark?
I'm sure we'll find him before dusk.
If not, I'll find a safe shelter for us.
The cogs are turning.
What if there's a storm?
We'll hide under a tree.
Under a tree during a storm?
That's some cogs
you've got turning, all right.
Staszek...
Come on! Soon you'll be able
to ask your father anything you want.
What are you doing?
I just realized
that I have nothing to ask him.
- I don't care about him.
- There's a word for this.
Chicken.
Hey!
Beard like Piotr's.
Your mom's into the lumberjack type.
Would you like some oscypek sheep cheese?
You inherited his culinary taste.
Come on.
You don't have to admit
that you're his son or ask any questions.
Allow yourself to get to know him.
Decide what you want while tasting.
Yes, please! Thank you!
Your auntie would like these.
So that's how oscypek cheese is made.
Everything's regulated by the EU now.
Specific conditions and such.
Oscypeks from the store
don't have the same aroma.
They lack this particular highland flavor.
This can't be my father.
I don't have the grossness gene.
So, you're a highlander
that appreciated tradition?
I'm no highlander. I've been living
in Tatra Mountains for 10 or 11 years.
I got tired of the big city pressure
and the chase after God knows what.
After God knows what?
How about after your little boy
taking his first steps?
Kids, yuck.
Family, ugh.
Besides, I've never been brave with women.
Yup. Especially the ones I really liked.
Like?
Like...
feisty ones, with strong personalities.
I haven't met many of them in Sosnowiec.
Big city pressure in Sosnowiec?
And my inability
to strike up a conversation.
I can hold
a relationship coaching session with you.
- That's my thing.
- Yes, please.
- All right then, so...
- Enough!
Have you ever been to Warsaw?
Do you know Teresa Bana?
Did you abandon your family?
Son...
Here's the answer to your three questions.
No. Never been to Warsaw.
Don't know any Bana.
Didn't abandon my family.
I didn't have one.
Right.
This one will be better.
You could eat it in one bite.
Right, beefy boy?
And some cranberries.
Slice.
And dice.
There it is!
I'll introduce you to my friend.
My best friend and best employee.
Janusz!
Janusz!
- Hey, come!
- Come, doggy!
Hey. You're great, Janusz.
A dog?
What about people?
Don't you feel lonely here?
Yeah, I do.
But you can be lonely around people,
even in the big city.
Here, I can at least pretend
that my loneliness,
my lack of someone close,
is my choice.
So you're lying to yourself? That's wack.
Making up pretty fairy tales
about not-so-pretty reality
to make one's life easier
is a type of lie.
The fourth type.
- Why fourth?
- I know the first three from my grandpa.
But you remind me of someone else.
Move it!
Waldek might've climbed up here
being chased by a bear.
Yeah, quite possibly.
I think they were rescued
by a company of minks.
- Seems like someone doesn't like me.
- No. How come?
Just a feeling.
Dagnabbit.
Teresa went through a lot.
I won't let some immature little...
I'm a year younger than her.
One year.
Two years ago, I got into law school.
- Full-time, no connections.
- Okay! After all, you seem to be in love.
And you're looking for her son. After all.
- Exactly!
- After all!
Yes! After all, I am!
Piotrek!
Piotrek!
I'm sorry.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry.
I don't think I got that.
I'm sorry.
Apology accepted.
But don't call me Auntie. Call me Mariola.
For sure, homie.
I'm not the only one
who's all alone around here.
There's another man nearby.
I don't know him,
but I think he ditched the city too.
I've got a question.
Can you take us to him?
Sure! How could I say no
to the fans of my oscypek cheese?
I'll give you one of each
of a different flavor. My own recipe.
You'll try what I call
the long-maturing oscypek sheep cheese.
He lives that way. I don't see him often,
but my sheep graze by his house.
- Maybe he's in witness protection.
- Huh?
Snitched on the Mafia boss,
and now the Mafia wants to...
get him.
Right.
But they won't find him out here.
He changed his house and name.
Left his old life behind.
That would explain a lot.
He must be brave
if he snitched on a Mafia boss.
That I didn't get from him.
We must part ways, love.
Sadly, forever.
It's for your safety.
Tell Waldu...
my dream-come-true baby.
My beautiful, perfect little boy,
whom I wanted so much,
that he'll be forever in my heart.
That I really wanted
to hear his first words.
To hear him say "mommy," "daddy,"
"granny," "grandpa,"
"meow-meow,"
"woof-woof," or that he needs to poo.
I wish I could walk him to school
and English lessons,
and go with him to gaming tournaments.
Do you like your oscypek cheese?
He would like to go
to gaming tournaments with me.
Sure.
The witness protection thing
is one of my many theories.
Maybe he is in witness protection,
or maybe he's not.
Maybe he's just a loner, like me.
Ditched the city, people, and son
to live close to nature in a derelict hut?
Wait till you see his hut.
Relax your big toes and little toes.
Feel peace.
Feel that your entire body is relaxed.
Delfina and I go right.
Staszek, you go left.
Okay.
- Shoot!
- You've got him in the crosshairs!
Dang! He got away.
You're down already?
How did you do it?
Sorry. Okay, I'm staying here.
You're already dead?
Darn...
I'm beg...
I'm begging you, not now!
Darn it!
Yes! Good. It's good.
Nice hut.
If you don't like your dad
when you see him,
we'll say we're carolers or something.
Why on earth bring such contraptions
to the bosom of nature?
Shepherds came to Bethlehem that holy day
For the baby Jesus...
Praise the Heavens
Praise the Heavens
May there be peace on Earth
Praise the Heavens...
Good sense of humor.
You take after Mom. I'm quite a grump.
I knew one day you'd find and visit me,
but not with these companions.
What do you mean, sir? You knew?
Since the shepherds have come, welcome.
Shoes.
Gentlemen, please be careful.
It's quite valuable.
It's a gift from my Japanese partners.
Ditched the city,
yet brought it all with him.
Excuse me?
Why leave the city
and bring all this here?
Exactly. Why?
Can I talk to my son about it first?
He said he'd talk to his son?
I'm under the impression
that you're here only as a companion.
Father and son.
Dad and I.
Krzysztof must really be my...
He's...
He's a jerk.
Sorry I talked you into looking for him.
Would you like a drink?
Are you hungry?
They had my oscypek cheese on the way.
The long-maturing one.
So I guess not.
Well, I could have some... dessert.
I'm an aficionado of Japanese culture,
art, cuisine,
and the wonderful idea of collectivism.
That means collaboration
for the benefit of all.
It's fascinating.
Culture or not,
but the table is too low.
My legs hurt.
Right. Let's get to the point.
We came here for a reason.
Waldek.
You wanted to ask some important questions
and get some important answers, right?
Did...
Did you get out of Silver in CS, sir?
I used to be in Global,
but I dropped to LEM due to a weak team.
I've recently installed an aimbot.
I think that'll work well.
Ha! There it goes!
And the lawn isn't mowed!
Technology surpassed the man.
Come here!
Come on!
Regarding the aimbot...
I was just kidding.
Come on.
Me, a lead game designer, cheating?
What's up?
You're worried he'll win her back?
No, I'm worried about Waldek.
That he'll be disappointed.
What if he meets Krzysztof and discovers
that they have nothing in common?
A game designer?
My father works in...
You work in Esports, sir?
No. I do not.
I am a god in the gaming industry.
Don't scatter! Come here! Inside!
Now, that's what I call a lawnmower!
Yeah, except it leaves droppings behind.
Or do you whistle
to call the flies to eat them?
Sir, does it mean you design games?
Don't run away! Get back!
Even Robot Rampage.
The tournaments you won
in Cologne and in Katowice.
I must say, I was proud of you a bit.
Wait. I'm lost, man.
Are you his father or stalker?
Sir, could you show me
how you work and stuff?
Call me Krzysiek.
Better that than "Daddy."
Waldek!
Come on! Waldi!
Waldi!
This is too much.
What do you think of him?
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
This is where I work.
I draw and design over there.
That's where I test everything I create.
It's also my entertainment zone.
I like to play too.
So much space! So many screens!
All these games...
- You create them yourself?
- No.
A whole bunch of people work on them.
I just manage the teams from here.
I send them concepts,
and they animate and develop them.
I tell them what I like and what I don't,
what needs improving,
and they fix it the way I tell them to.
"The way I tell them to."
Why did you leave me?
Your mom's decision to break up
was very hard for me, but...
you have to know that sometimes...
people drift away.
I respected that.
It was Mom's decision?
That you're not with us?
Everyone can make their own decisions,
including her.
Nevertheless,
I've been following
your gaming tournaments for years.
I'm interested
in things important to you, so...
it's like I'm interested in you too.
Liar, liar, hands on fire.
As my dad would say.
Pants. This boomer saying goes,
"Liar, liar, pants on fire."
Does he often say stuff like that?
Often.
At breakfast, lunch and dinner
that we eat together, so I know them all.
He's my companion, you know.
Always accompanying me.
So?
All he does with you
in watching soccer and kicking the ball.
What are you saying?
I have a cool dad,
and you're just jealous.
You want to ruin it for me?
I totally don't get you.
So...
I've been experiencing
a creative block lately.
I can't figure something out.
Potential investors from Japan
are coming in two days.
I was supposed to show them
a solid concept, but I've got nothing.
Maybe you could help me?
Those who make guests take their shoes off
are as common as old shoes.
Wait! What about your friend?
- Friend?
- Yeah?
My boomer dad's saying number 121.
"Where business takes place
friendship has no space."
But I don't think his dad
has anything to do with the Mafia.
- Okay, we'll come back for him.
- No way. I definitely won't.
Maybe his family,
whom he doesn't appreciate, will.
I'm done covering for him.
Very good!
And I'm not mowing anyone's lawn for free!
For Pete's sake!
I forgot my sheep. Janusz!
Anybody in there?
You could use a helmet after all.
Look how pretty they are.
Yeah, very pretty.
Cranberries, Piotrek.
The red stuff is cranberries.
Right.
I've grown to like you, boy.
I'll be sending you oranges
in the loony bin.
- Thank you.
- Right. Move it!
- Watch out for...
- Ouch!
There.
No.
Delfina!
I can't reach anyone.
The boys' phones are off.
Auntie and Piotrek are not answering.
Auntie... I mean, Ms. Mariola
is flying around.
Today?
- Piotrek!
- Mr. Piotr is not here. He went... swimming.
Swimming?
Waldek! Staszek!
Maybe they didn't take their phones?
Staszek is with Mr. Piotr and Waldek...
Yes! Good. It's good.
Waldek, sweetie. Can I come in?
Darn it! I'm begging you, not now!
Yes! Good. It's good.
Delfina, I think Waldek is...
exercising right now, so maybe...
he'd rather be left alone, I think.
Let's just leave him there.
As always, we finish with
our favorite local botanist
who will tell us what's currently
blooming in the Tatra Mountains,
and who experienced something unusual.
Didn't you, Rysiu?
Yes. Good afternoon.
I'm glad to report this because...
A cold drink will help.
...could've been the end of me.
I thought it was.
I was looking at pygmy buttercups
and fragrant orchids.
Flora of the upper mountains
is astounding this time of year.
Edelweiss, Persian speedwell,
alpine cinquefoil...
Let's show the viewers the footage.
Waldek?
Holy moly!
I crossed the road and got a surprise.
Holy moly!
I barely made it out alive.
What should we do in such a situation?
I'm sure he just passed the boys.
Rysiu, not the bear.
I mean, the bear too.
I'm sure it followed Rysiu,
not Staszek and Waldek.
They went to the High Tatras.
...and walk away very slowly
to avoid startling the bear.
Calmness and composure.
No way. Come on.
I can help.
I checked all the routes for them.
Stop!
Giddy up!
Come on!
- Go!
- My carriage!
- Where's Waldek?
- What's happened?
Physically, he's fine.
Can't say the same for his mind.
He's at his dad's.
The self-absorbed manipulator
and capitalist bloodsucker.
Also an avid gamer and game designer.
Going to the mountains by yourselves?
What a stupid idea!
Mountains are dangerous.
Going to the mountains alone?
What a stupid idea!
Mountains are dangerous.
Did you even think
about your safety or Teresa?
She'd fall to pieces if she found out
what you were doing here.
She's fragile and delicate.
She's so fragile. She is.
Pick up the pace!
You're moving like a cow!
Two irresponsible lambs and a shepherd.
- Does she have a husband?
- Nope. No one would handle it.
Where exactly is Waldek?
Where is that bloodsucker's house?
You should've called the police.
You found them wandering,
and you did nothing?
It was stupid. Do you understand?
Stupid. And irresponsible.
If only I knew how to steal her heart.
You didn't act right.
But...
But you carve beautiful birds.
Really beautiful.
Right.
Let's go.
How can I talk to her?
I'll invite her to oscypek tasting.
Better not.
Ms. Mariola is lactose intolerant.
- There's barely any lactose in them.
- Listen, man. Stick with the birds.
- Hey! Will you take us to Waldek or not?
- Let's go.
No wonder
you didn't get lucky in Sosnowiec.
But no worries. Mariola is weird.
Maybe she'll be into your kookiness.
We'll turn it into your asset.
Giddy up!
So, the game mechanics are okay,
but I can't find a strong concept
for a new world.
It should be spectacular, fresh...
But I don't know where to find it.
I don't know.
How about under your nose?
The best things in life are the nearest.
All it takes is to notice them.
Wait till you see
the prototype that my team is making.
The investors' jaws will drop.
Does it mean your game
will include what I came up with?
My idea?
Did you mean "our game"?
It's all based on your idea.
It's all about getting achievements
without unnecessary grinding.
As your dim friend's dad
would lamely put it,
"From zero to hero."
So? What do you think?
That I need to use the bathroom.
You have a horse?
A highlander chariot has arrived.
Don't ever do that again.
Don't you ever do that again.
Sorry. I had to tell.
Your mom threatened to kill me.
She's doing it again.
You haven't changed a bit.
Still as beautiful. Wanna come in?
- No, we're going back.
- What do you mean, Mom?
I found my dad,
and we're just gonna leave?
Teresa, can we talk like adults?
All those years ago, we were adults too.
- Let's go, Waldek.
- No!
- Waldek!
- No!
Would you like some sushi or green tea?
Waldek and I spent
a fun few hours together, didn't we?
We designed things together.
I showed him my games.
Your games?
We have common interests.
Darling, I get that...
Was it you who decided
that Krzysiek wouldn't be living with us?
Yes.
That's wack.
You see, Waldek...
You have to understand that everyone
has the right to decide for themselves.
Don't you tell him what to understand.
Why not? You kicked him out.
He wasn't there to explain.
Darling, let's go home.
I'll explain everything.
I'll answer all your questions, okay?
We have another guest.
Stop.
Maybe it's carolers.
I'm running out of sushi.
I'll have to get some hors d'oeuvre.
Aunt Mariolka, as I live and breathe!
I'm not your aunt.
Is Waldek here?
And...
Teresa, darling! Hi.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here? Without me?
Let me point out
that you're actually here.
How did you get here before us?
In a highlander chariot.
Stop with the jokes.
This is not the right time for jokes.
Don't you tell me what the right time is.
What are you doing? Hey! What?
- Still pushing men out the door?
- Let's go, Waldek.
- Teresa, I decided not to tell you. Sorry.
- No, it was me. I'm sorry.
- It was me.
- No, me.
- I'm sorry...
- It was my idea!
Darling, I'm very sorry.
Let's calmly discuss it
back at the guesthouse.
- Waldek, let's go.
- I'm not going.
I have a game presentation to do.
I'm staying.
With my father.
Teresa...
I'd like Waldek to stay for two days.
Just two days, okay?
He needs me.
And I need him.
Like my old man would say,
"No love will come of it."
Hey, Mr. Shepherd!
There's more fish in the sea!
He's a cool weirdo, but...
he's shy with women.
Same here.
It was a mistake.
I wouldn't have left Waldek there.
He has the right to get to know him.
Maybe Krzysztof has changed. If not...
Waldek has to find out himself.
I can't protect him.
Wow! That's new.
- We should've taken him...
- You're making decisions about my son.
You didn't tell me he was gone,
and you want me to take him from his dad.
Dad?! Do you hear yourself?
Biological father, at best.
Fine, he's not his dad. Neither are you.
Can you stop?
Stop.
I'll walk.
Come on! Giddy up!
Could Staszek and I
go back to Warsaw by train tomorrow?
We can manage on our own.
It got a bit too...
I know.
It's not nice here.
Waldek isn't nice.
I'm not going to defend him
if he mistreated you,
but at the moment, he's a bit...
confused.
He's back!
It wouldn't be good if he disappeared now.
So? Let's go to sleep.
Can you give Waldek more time?
He'll soon fall off cloud nine, and...
it might be a painful fall.
This game will be played in duos,
so two players are needed to win.
Otherwise, no dice.
Okay, that's clear. What about swords?
Will everyone's sword be the same length?
Well, yeah...
Waldi.
Look what I got you.
Look what arrived.
Today is the big day.
You have to look your best.
But first, work. Let's go.
Come on. Chop-chop.
Come on. Hurry up.
We worked on this project day and night.
It was a lot of work,
but we've got a great gameplay core.
But there was a moment of crisis.
A game is a tale. It's a story.
We didn't have a concept
for an interesting world.
That's when I got it.
I got the brilliant idea to set the game
in a world of cybernetic robot samurai.
I found the inspiration deep inside of me.
Hold on.
No, Mom. Please.
All right, then. Let's move on.
Piotrek?
I thought you were gone for good.
Okay, I get it.
I'm sorry.
Sorry. I promise this was the last time
I've misjudged you. I'm sorry.
Waldek's presentation.
Waldek is...
disappointed.
That's all. Thanks for your attention.
I hope we can move on to negotiations.
Do you want to go home?
Yes, but not yet.
Maybe don't bother talking to him.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Are your interpreting earphones on?
Excuse me, I don't think you were invited.
I wasn't, but this gentleman was.
He was even invited to collaborate.
Copyright.
If you wish to invest
in the development of this game,
you can't leave this young man
out of the deal, as did this...
capitalist bloodsucker
who knows nothing about collectivism.
Perhaps it'll be best
if you talk in private.
Why did you dupe me?
You didn't say
that we worked together, and I...
Together or not,
it's the result that counts.
The investors wouldn't like the idea
of a kid on the team.
I calculated the risk, and it was too big.
Remember, it's my career
we're talking about.
I've heard this before. How did it go?
"I'll be honest with you, Teresa.
I'm not sure about us."
When I got sick and thought I'd die,
you contemplated
if I was worth risking your career.
Let's go.
And if I was worth it.
Hey!
You're worth everything.
You too.
Too bad you're not a gangster.
In witness protection, I mean.
There goes the fairy tale
about a gangster
who cried as he was leaving me.
There's no point lying to yourself.
Although it's a pity.
It was a beautiful tale.
Glue it back together.
- Lovely weather...
- Right. We've made space for you here.
Shush! And please, gentlemen.
Behave yourselves today.
Life is not a collection of right moments,
but moments that we make right.
What if she says no?
You better visualize full success.
Imagine her with the ring on her finger,
in ridiculous pajamas,
arguing with you
about how to squeeze the toothpaste
or scoop out butter instead of slicing it.
I also work with couples in crisis.
Staszek.
- Will you ever forgive me?
- What's to forgive?
Not defending you from Krzysiek
and acting like...
I don't remember.
I remember that Delfina and I
missed your presentation.
I deserved that.
Go!
Waldek?
Waldek, what happened?
Yes!
Call me "Auntie," but you know
what I'll do to you if you hurt Teresa?
Go!
He's staring at you.
Hi.
Wait.
He has to do this on his own.
He can do it.
Yes?
The investors agreed to do business
if I sign a fair deal with you.
That's why you came?
To sign a deal
and get money from the investors?
No. Really, no.
Listen, if you want in,
that's great.
If not,
no problem.
It doesn't work like that.
You were totally unfair towards me.
You mistreated my friends. And you were...
You still have quite a...
you know, childish priorities in life,
but you'll learn that...
Right, I'm sorry.
Okay, it's true. You're right.
I guess your buddy isn't that dim,
and I behaved a bit, well...
not cool.
But I was stressed out, you know?
Overwhelmed.
Listen, I came...
to you because I want you
to give me one more chance to be...
a father.
A dad.
We did have a good flow, didn't we?
It's your summer vacation.
I thought you'd spend one week with me.
We could play together.
I could show you some cool places.
- We'd get to know each other.
- I'll be honest.
I can't take that kind of risk,
and I'm not sure about us.
It's too much of a sacrifice.
Even for you, man.
Can I take off my helmet?
No way.
But it's hot.
"For Junior Intern Piotrek"?
PIOTR
- Well?
- Looks great.
So?
Let's go?
I can't.
You can't?
Man!
Finding out that my dad doesn't love me
was tough, really.
It'll hurt for a long time.
But I know a way to cure that pain.
I let myself be loved
by those who want to and can give me love,
who really care about me.
Wanna try flying like that?
I'm kidding. I wouldn't either.
We'll get along.
I know I'll have to keep trying, right?
Hey. Look.
Wow!
Rad!
Yes!
He doesn't have to be perfect,
as long as he's there for me.
And accompanies me.
Always.
The best things in life are the nearest.
All it takes is to notice them.
TOO OLD FOR FAIRY TALES 2
Subtitle translation by: Maja Konkolewska