Top Cat Begins (2015) Movie Script

1
The Starlight Nightclub!
You'll never find
a more wretched hive...
...of scum and villainy.
- My kind of place.
- Yeah!
These guys?
If you are looking for
the smartest, toughest,
craftiest bunch of cats in the world...
...keep looking.
But like it or not, they're my crew,
Top Cat's crew.
Keep it together, boys.
This is a rescue mission, remember?
Looking for some happiness
But there is only loneliness to find
Jump to the left, turn to the right
Looking upstairs...
What is the meaning of this outrage?
I'm finding traces of bacteria, sir!
And A, B, C and D Coli!
Check out this muffin!
I don't think those are raisins.
This place is haunted with ghosts.
And they've been sneezing on the food!
Oh, ghost germs!
The worst kind!
If you do not leave this instant
I'm calling the police!
My good man,
I am Federal Health Inspector,
Felix Snaglepuss!
I outrank the police.
Is this badge made of cheese?
Of course not!
With all the violations,
it's a miracle...
...people don't explode
on contact with your food.
I had to give you a health rating of...
...Z. Z minus!
What? No, no!
Sure, Mr. Snaglepuss,
the things you found will be fixed,
if you delay this finding
for just a few days.
Yes, I'd like to,
but we must return to Washington now.
And staying one more day
in New York is quite expensive,
if you know what I mean.
- This is where you bribe me.
- But of course!
Monsieur Snagglepuss,
you seem to have dropped
"this" five thousand dollars!
And "this" five thousand...
20?
- "This" twenty thousand dollars!
- Ahh, now, we're talking.
Make it a hundred thou and we're good.
But Monsieur!
I do not have access to that much money!
In that case, thank you for your time.
- You had a lovely place here.
- No!
It's a misunderstanding.
You will have it,
but it must come from...
- Mr. Big.
- Mr. Big? Mr. Big you say?
His name must never be spoken.
- But it was you who said Mr...
- Shhhh.
Okay, go to him.
The private elevator to his
basement office is just there.
I'll let him know you're coming down.
I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.
We have, uh...
..."une petit" situation.
I hate situations.
Do you know what I did
to the last guy...
...who told me we had a situation?
Help me!
It's about the Health Inspector.
Ha... he's headed up to you.
And he says he'll shut us down...
...if you don't give him a hundred...
- ...thousand.
- That's not the health inspector,
you idiot.
How you know this?
Because...
I'm paying off
the health inspector right now!
Although,
now that I think of it...
I'll send someone to beat you up.
No, wait!
I need my goons to take care of
the fake health inspector.
You'll have to beat yourself up.
"Pardonnez-moi?"
Do it!
Hey, Top Cat,
these guys must be getting
bribed by Mr. Big just like us.
Brain, my friend.
These gentlemen here are goons...
...who want to beat
the living days out of us!
We don't want to, we're paid to.
I want to.
Ahm, we're getting paid?
Well, in that case...
Cheese it, boys!
Sorry.
Because you know I'm on,
bada-base, bada-base
No trouble
- Follow me.
- I'm all about that bass
'Bout that bass, no trouble
I'm all about that bass
Bada-base, no trouble
I'm all about that bass Bada-base
Yeah, it's pretty clear...
What about the rescue mission, TC?
Ah, what mission?
Mmmh, a tactical retreat.
Now, now, this way.
This way to freedom!
Looks like you cats are
in a real predicament.
And ain't nobody can get you
out of it but this, cat.
Pull us up! Please!
I don't want to die.
Please, we're desperate!
No, we are not.
But even so you could help us.
Because we are nice and you are nicer.
Not because we're desperate.
Because we're not.
Okay, okay, I lied, I lied!
We are desperate, please help!
Why should I stick my neck out for you?
I used to be just like this guy.
I was new to the city...
...and trying to make an honest living.
Excuse me, my fine feline,
what is it you're attempting to do?
Well, times are tough at home.
My ma works a dozen jobs.
I wanted to bring some extra
dough to buy some food.
A fine sentiment.
What did you say your name was?
My name's Benny!
But everybody calls me "Hey you!"
or "Get out of my sight!"
Pleased to meet you, Benny.
You can call me Top Cat.
There should be music when I say that.
Trumpets, shouldn't there be trumpets?
- I only got a violin.
- Well, Benny,
I'm afraid that unless you
and your mum fancy eating...
...some wood and some strings...
...this violin is not going to
stop your hunger.
- It isn't?
- But no worries, you are in luck.
- Am I?
- Yes,
because you have just met me!
Of course if it's good for business,
you might consider taking in a partner.
In other words, never work hard...
...if you can get some poor
shmuck to do it for you.
That was amazing, we are rich!
My financial ambitions are
a little higher than this.
But it wasn't bad.
Dare I say we even had "a ball"?
And since you were part of that,
I dub thee Ball.
- Benny the ball.
- Oh,
do you say "Benny the Ball"
because I'm fat...
...and I look like a ball?
I like it!
Now to divide this money up
evenly, this is yours.
And after my commission, my agent's fee,
sidewalk tax, violin license
and string tariff...
Yay, thanks!
You're a true friend!
Take it. It's yours now.
Dapper, thank you.
So, now that we're friends and all,
I want you to come for
dinner with my ma.
Oh, you're a sweet kid,
but truth to be told,
the only true friend I seek is money.
It's not you,
it's just that I'm ambitious
and have vision and you don't.
Oh, I see.
Ha, ha, of course,
none of this is an impediment for you,
me and this delightful mother
of yours having dinner together.
Let's go!
Who put rocket fuel in your juice boxes?
- Let go! We've got to...
- Aha!
Caught you two, little tiger drafts!
Officer! What is the problem?
These two cat burglars
just robbed a bakery!
Why that's impossible!
These upstanding youths have
being showing my companion...
...and me around the city all day.
Isn't that true, Benny?
I don't know what's happening.
They haven't left our sight
for a moment.
In fact, I was just getting ready to...
...compensate them for their trouble.
Eh... thank you, mister!
Well, I guess I...
My mistake.
Apologies, boys.
What is wrong with you?
We're underprivileged?
No, I mean why would you steal?
When there are so many suckers
who'll just give it away?
Cheshire Tom
with the New York Tourism Bureau.
The fee for staring at the Empire
State Building is five dollars.
You see?
We've got to steal stealable things.
If we don't, he'll burn down
the orphanage we live in.
Who will?
The strongest, roughest, bad,
baddest tough guy there is.
They call him...
Bad Dog!
Here he comes now!
Please, Mister,
we've got to give
the loot to Bad Dog or else!
Charity for the poor. Oh!
Listen here, my canine buddy,
there's no need to be harsh on this...
Are you okay, mister?
Bad Dog indeed.
We're so glad you could join us
for dinner, Top Cat.
One more minute, though.
What did you say you do?
Oh, a little of this...
No!
Help!
Ma, on the count of three!
One, two...
The sofa. He tried to eat me!
Yes, yes, we are not the only
hungry ones here, ha, ha!
Oh, I'm sorry,
this house is as old as its owner.
Let's just eat!
Yes, please,
I can't wait to try your tasteful...
...stew.
Wow! We got some orange peels.
And real eggshells!
Can we afford all this, ma?
Only the best for company.
Benny says you're a busy woman.
What exactly do you do, Mrs. B?
I take in a little laundry
do a little sewing.
That's nice.
Make decorative cat collars,
fix taxi meters, tune pianos,
calibrate x-ray equipment,
write user manuals, proofread textbooks.
Okay, eh...
And make puppets out of dryer lint.
Oooh, you very handsome!
I'll go get us
some used dishwater to drink.
Benny, if you and I are going to
do business together,
you must change your habits.
We are cats With expensive tastes.
We? I thought you said
you didn't want me along.
I said I didn't want any friends.
I didn't say anything about partners.
- And that's me?
- In-dubitably!
Benny, I think this is the beginning...
...of a beautiful partnership.
This is going to be the best day
of my life
My li-a-a-a-life
This is going to be the best day
of my life
My li-a-a-a-life
This is going to be the best day
of my life
My li-a-a-a-life
Dibble, get in here!
I've been hearing good things
about you, Officer Dibble.
Sir, you can't listen to
a bunch of gossip about...
Wait, good things?
I'm giving you a promotion!
Oh, thank you, sir!
I can't wait to tell my granny,
she'll be so proud of me.
- Maybe? For once.
- Yeah, yeah, now listen.
I'm giving you the blocks
around Hoagie's Alley.
Yeah, that's right.
There's been a recent surge
in cat-related shenanigans
...and I need an officer I can trust.
Buy, but, but, but, but, but, sir...
...that area belongs to...
...Mr. Big!
Well, if that's the way
you feel about it...
Send in Officer Lopez!
Hi, there! Hearing good things
about you, Officer Lopez.
I'm giving you the Hoagie's Alley beat.
Don't thank me yet.
True, it's on Mr. Big's turf, but...
Well, Dibble, it looks like you're
the man for the job after all.
Congratulations.
You really are a genius, Top Cat.
You know that?
Yes, I do, Benny.
Yes, I very much do.
You know? I just have an instinct
about what doorbell to ring.
Like I can always tell
where the perfect sucker is.
Delivery!
You're the mind-blowing winner
of a glowy...
...and goldy something... Cop!
Wow! I wonder what it could be?
Nothing! It's nothing!
It's wrong address.
Wait a second!
You're those scam cats
the chief told me about.
Cheese it!
Cheese it means run!
Come back here!
Scoop of strawberry, please. Benny?
Ooh, chocolate!
You two!
Don't just stand there.
Pay the man, would you?
Oh, of course. Sorry.
I like this cop.
Me too, Top Cat.
Shall we?
That was a close call.
Oh, nonsense, he never stood a chance.
We make a great team.
Gentlemen, lady, so nice to...
- Cut the chitchat, cat.
- Ha!
Say that five times fast.
Chitchat cat! Chitchat cat!
Chit-chack!
Stop making noises from the mouth hole!
Couldn't help but notice a yellow cat...
...just like you has been
sniffing around...
...and running scams
in Mr. Big's neighborhood.
Now, you got three choices.
One, you can stop.
Two, you can carry on and pay Mr. Big...
...a 99 percent convenience fee.
Three, you stop, but this time
you'll have stopped...
...because you ain't breathing no more.
Now, this 99 percent
convenience fee can,
I assume, be negotiated?
Understood.
TC,
do you think they're gone?
Let's wait a little longer
just to make sure.
That was... bracing.
It's nice in here, actually.
It kind of smells like home.
Are you kidding?
I would never call a trashcan "home".
But who is this
Mr. Big everybody talks about?
He is the most dangerous
gangster in town.
Apparently,
he and his crew pulled off...
...that diamond heist last week.
Benny my boy,
we just got ourselves a new pet project.
Ma says I can't have any pets
on account...
...I ain't responsible enough.
I once had a cat for a while
but it turned out it was me.
I knew those mugs would lead us
right to the diamonds.
We're going to take them from them,
and it won't be even stealing
because they are already stolen.
Benny, have you ever heard of...
...the eminent
Doctor Sylvester Garfield?
- Nope.
- Neither have they.
I'm taking the diamonds
to the safe house.
You guys rustle up some dinner.
And it better not be
Margherita pizza again.
Idiots! You guys are dumb.
Oh, yeah. So much Margherita.
- What the...?
- What are you doing?
Do not touch that cat!
Who are you to tell me what to do
with this filthy fat cat?
I am Doctor Sylvester Garfield,
expert in infectious diseases.
And you are touching a patient...
...with deadly "lupubolavia-B" virus.
Better known as The Undertaker Flu.
Another victim of The Undertaker.
He sneezed in my face!
He sneezed right in my face!
Oh, that's really bad right there,
but it was only minutes ago.
One! No, I'm dying!
One and a half! I'm am going to die!
There might be a chance for you,
my beefy friend.
Here, hold still as I administer
these life-saving eye drops.
Look up to the sky!
The sky is your only hope.
Do it now or I'll fix you good.
Remember, you asked for it.
Yeah!
This is the most pain
I've ever felt in my entire life!
Does that mean it's working,
Doctor Garfield?
Yah, but you should drink the rest.
Drink the rest of the eye drops?
It can only help your chances.
And I should very much like to
see what happens.
Give me that!
Congratulations, you are cured.
You saved my life, doc!
What do I owe you?
I'll do anything!
Nothing, the bill has been paid in full.
Good day to you, sir.
I can't stop looking at them!
I think I'm in love with them.
I can't sleep, I can't eat,
and I think they deserve better than me!
Hey, who pooped in my bag?
Orange peels? Egg shells?
And a rotten cabbage?
Someone's going to pay for this!
Oh, I can't wait for the stores to open.
I want to buy it all!
I'll begin with that lamppost
over there!
Don't you think we should keep
ourselves from spending?
Perhaps open an investment
account, save for retirement?
You're right, if I hold on to these,
I'm going to spend it all in no time.
But who? Who can I trust
to keep these babies safe?
Well, your buddy Benny, of course!
Okay, I suppose you earned it.
Listen to me, Benny,
this is really important.
Are you sure I can trust you?
I need a verbal yes or no.
Don't worry, TC,
I'm the best at hiding things.
Well, as long as I left you
the easy part,
I'll do the most difficult,
dangerous, important part.
Sure, TC, and what's that?
Reservations!
The French are glad to die for love
They delight in fighting duels
But I prefer a man
Who lives and gives
Expensive jewels
A kiss on the hand may be...
Oh, what a night!
Although,
are you sure we should be out so soon...
...after our heist, TC?
It's called hiding in plain sight.
Another round of "milktinis"!
And get some salmon bits for yourself.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
And back to that hiding issue...
Where did my star hider
hide my little treasure?
Your star hider?
Oh, oh, that's me!
It seems you're one
of our finest clients tonight.
The manager wants to meet you.
Ha, ha, I tell you, Benny,
sometimes it seems like
the world is out...
...to make everything just perf...
So, you think you can come
into my nightclub...
...and pay your way
with one of my diamonds?
Benny, did you know that
Mr. Big owns this nightclub?
Yes.
Ah! And why did you not tell me this?
You didn't ask.
Mr. Big, I can explain!
This was all a misunderstanding!
Like what you see, Cat?
Are you kidding?
All you need is a plastic surgeon
and a toupee and...
...you could be in the movies!
Horror movies.
Look, you're a businessman,
I'm sure we can work this out.
Of course we can.
Ape!
Ooh! I love water slides!
Now, I could tell you how we're
going to work this out,
but I'd rather show you.
Yeah,
- you show them boss!
- So tell me, Bad Dog,
who lost my diamonds
to these two gentlemen?
Oh, that! Well, sir, I...
...want to be straight with you.
It was Ape.
Were you paying attention?
I actually had something in my eye,
so I missed most of it.
Could you should us again?
We understand.
Shoved into the bottomless pit... bad.
Mr. Big, very bad.
Well, glad we could work this out!
Thanks, boys!
I'll just make this short.
My gang runs all the crime in this city.
It's allowed me to collect
treasures from around the world.
But none of them are as rare...
...or as valuable as those diamonds.
Each one is worth millions!
So I just need to know one thing...
Where are the rest of my diamonds?
Really, I don't know!
Right, the begging and screaming thing.
Oh, okay,
I'll tell you where they are.
Wrong, you'll take us to them.
Bad Dog will go with you.
That way, if you're lying,
he can beat the truth out of you.
Oh, please be lying! Ha, ha!
Now go get my diamonds, aaargh!
Gee, Top Cat,
I really wish you had asked me
if Mr. Big owned this club.
Me, too, Benny. Me, too.
Well, don't just stand there,
hand over the diamonds, cats!
Yes, the diamonds.
You're standing on them.
Benny, be a dear and help
the gentleman here
pulling the floor boards
and digging the diamonds out,
while I sit and rest for a moment.
Digging them out?
Not so fast!
I'll be the one doing
all the sitting here...
...and you dig the stones out,
ha, ha, ha.
What? Get me out of here!
Grab the stones and let's scram!
About that...
All right, you hid them in like
a secret compartment?
Does on the kitchen table
count as a secret compartment?
What?
Well, they don't seem to be there!
- I know.
- What? They're gone?
- Millions of dollars!
- Oh, you're so dead!
Pull me out, now!
Excuse us,
my associate and I have to
step out for a moment.
Run!
- Okay, cheese it!
- Coming!
What? No!
Come back here, you two!
You're no good,
miserable pieces of scum!
I'm going to make violins
out of your guts.
You're only making it harder on
yourselves, pathetic fur balls.
Run! They're getting away!
Gone, they're gone!
How could I have trusted you...
...with something so important?
All my dreams vanished.
I was so close!
- What happened, boss?
- Took you long enough!
Get me out of here!
No, wait! Get those cats!
No, search for the diamonds!
Oh, do something!
Not only am I going to get killed,
but I'm going to be a poor corpse!
I'm going to be so...!
Oh, hello, Mrs. B.
Oh dear, why is our furniture
running away?
No, they're looking for the...
Spanish doubloons!
They're pirates!
You know how it is with them,
always the looting and plundering!
Oh, goodie! I hope they steal
that blasted sofa of ours.
Yes, seems that would take a while.
Maybe we should let them do their job.
Oh that's fine,
tonight is bingo night
and I made some extra dough...
...I wouldn't mind doubling
tonight. You want to come?
Oh, no thanks,
you go and have some fun.
Not you, you're coming with me!
Hi, Officer!
The door was unlocked
so we let ourselves in.
The door wasn't unlocked!
It was after we hit it
a few times with a shovel.
But enough witty banter.
You've got to protect us!
We had a little
misunderstanding with Mr. Big.
Yes, he kind of thought
we had taken his diamonds.
And he turned out to be right!
Well, okay, he understood
quite well actually.
You? You're the ones who stole from...
...Mr. Big?
From my point of view,
it doesn't count as stealing...
...when the stuff is already stolen.
That's recycling.
This is huge, huge!
You guys are going to help me
catch Mr. Big! I mean...
Mr. Big.
Look, it's us!
Reward? These guys!
Fifty thousand dollars and 95 cents?
Ha, don't worry! Officer Dibble
here will protect you.
If anything happens to you,
he'll be fired.
So don't be afraid. I'm sure
you won't have any problem.
Alright, good morning, everybody!
Get them!
I'm an experienced officer.
This is humiliating.
Benny, did you...?
Did you use that diaper?
I'm just trying to be authentic.
All passengers to Boonsville,
this is the last call.
We just got to get you past those guys.
Once you're in the suburbs,
Granny Dibble will take care of you.
Wonderful,
I love being taken care of!
Aw, isn't that nice?
What do we have here?
What cute little...
Babies, I'm guessing?
Because the thing
they have around the head.
Hey! Why, you little...!
Look what you did, you scared him!
I may have overfed him a bit.
The little imp!
But I must get
my little cherubs on that train.
Here, lady, let us help you.
Thank you. What nice young men.
Well, I'll be off.
Have a wonderful time, sweeties!
Wait, you're going to let your kids...
...go on a train by themselves?
Oh, they're very mature for their age.
So I'm sending them to college earlier.
Ta-ta!
I know if I had a mom
that cared that much about me,
I think I could have been President.
Not now, Benny.
I was so close.
Are you Dibble's grandmother?
No, you're too young.
Surely you must be his sister!
Don't you sweet talk to me.
Sh, over here.
Call me Granny.
Now how about we get you fellas
to your new home?
We have to get going!
This whole place is full
of southern Confederate goons!
What...?
I imagine you'll be wanting to eat!
And lobster ravioli
with saffron cream sauce,
with pear and prosciutto salad
on the side.
And eh, island duck meatballs...
...with green mustard and pistachios...
- I like cabbage!
- No cabbage!
And coquilles St. Jacques
a la Parisienne, and...
A cracker?
No, half a cracker,
- there's two of you.
- But...
Are you arguing with me, maggot?
Maggot?
Yes, maggot, you'll get a meal...
...hen you have done your chores.
And not one second before!
Do you understand, maggot?
Now, share that cracker!
Now, you're going to do some chores.
Do you hear me, maggots?
- They hear you in Germany.
- Good!
We must remain eternally prepared.
And how do we do that?
Plenty of rest and rich food?
No! We do it with chores!
Here is the list of chores
you will do every day.
Well, that's not so...
Now get cracking, maggots!
Johanna drove slowly into the city
The Hudson River all filled with snow
She spied the ring
on His Honor's finger,
Oh, oh, oh.
A thousand years in one...
This isn't a chore exactly.
Move it, move it, move it!
I've devoted my life to avoiding work,
because I always pictured it
being exactly like this.
But look at the garden,
it looks beautiful now!
It shines like a diamond...
Let's stay away from
the diamond subject,
it's painful.
I trapped him!
We've got the lion!
Brain, this is a cat.
We've talked about the differences...
...between one and the other before.
I even showed you pictures, remember?
Of course I'm a cat!
What are you six looking at?
Be careful, this lion is really angry!
- Stop, lion, stop!
- But he is a cat.
Indeed!
Now, what's all the fuzz about?
And where did the other three go?
We're really sorry.
I'm Choo Choo.
And my friends here are
Fancy Fancy and Brain.
And I'm Brain!
We're clowns at the local circus.
- Well, I guess we were.
- Yes.
It seems one of us thought
he could ask the lion...
...to wait out of this cage
for a little moment...
...while he was cleaning it.
Really? Who?
Oh, you mean me!
Yes, I did.
- Brain, by the way.
- Yes, as in Brainless.
- And who are you two?
- For your information,
I'm a protected witness.
A very important one.
You can call me Top Cat.
- Huh, still no trumpets.
- Hey, yoah!
Yeah, and he is Benny.
- The Ball.
- Whatever.
What are we going to do now?
Being clowns was the only job
we could get!
So you are looking at
a career opportunity, I assume?
It so happened...
...I have a once
in a lifetime opening...
...in my business corporation.
Money, girls, cars,
anything you might want.
Must say it's not for everyone,
but if it's something that fits
your needs, I might consider you.
- No, we want lions.
- Don't mind him, go on.
Well, it's a very tough
and discerning process.
You will be tested and taught
in the ways of a luxurious life.
What do we have to do to join?
Follow me, let's get started.
Why don't you just stay here
and finish that fence?
Alright, let's see what issues
we need to focus on.
Well, I get pushed around a lot.
Roughed up, pummeled, savagely beaten.
- So you want to toughen up?
- Yeah.
Then you need...
Mop Fu!
Mop Fu?
The Way of the Mop,
highly advanced martial arts.
Even ninjas are afraid
of Mop Fu experts.
Even ninjas? Wow!
And you, Brain?
What's your problem?
People think I'm dumb,
I'd like to be smarter.
Aha, I see.
- Because people think I'm dumb.
- Right.
- So I'd like to be...
- Smarter! I got it, let's see.
Ah, here we go!
Read this and you'll know
how to repair...
...a complex piece of machinery!
You'll be a rocket scientist in no time!
"With the sparking pan inverted,"
"unbolt the brindle clamp from
the transverse torque coupler."
Wow, I feel smarter already!
And what's your damage?
I'm a romantic cat,
my problem lies within.
I yearn for a soul mate,
but whenever I speak to the ladies...
...mine tongue becomes tangled
and unwieldy.
I can't even meow properly.
Well, no problem my amorous friend.
Here you go!
Ladies can't resist French,
it's the language of love!
This is going to make you
a regular "Cats-anova."
I'm swooning here!
And while you're doing that,
wash the windows.
But what does that have to do
with learning French?
Are you questioning me, maggot?
Sir, no sir!
"Je ne pense pas que c'est
une partie du cheval."
Ki-ya! Ki-Ya!
Ki-ya!
Ki-ya!
Ki-ya!
Ki-ya!
Pie Inspector, ma'am.
We're going to have to
inspect your pies.
Cherry, apple,
that lemon merengue number there,
- and...
- Was that badge made of cheese?
Ma'am, the penalty for hindering...
...a federal pie inspection is
quite severe!
Please, let us do our work.
Oh, oh! Okay, thank you.
Here they are.
Yeah, it's me, put me through
with Mr. Big.
I see.
Hey, Top Cat,
tell us about your life in the big city.
The thing is, sure,
there are some bad kitties out there.
But I can always outthink them.
And when you add...
...that I happen to also be
the toughest cat there is...
...you have an unbeatable combination.
Thine appearance is not one
of brutish force, though.
Yeah, no muscles.
I use the most important one my brain!
I want to be the nice cat,
the reasonable feline.
But if there's ever a time
I have to become...
...Mister Sabre Tooth Tough cat,
oh-oh-oh, I can!
And that's why they call me Top Cat!
Ha, ha, ha. So you see, there's no one,
no one who tells me what to do,
and I'm not afraid of anyone!
Hey, hi, Rat!
It's Rat!
You know what?
You guys keep working.
We're going to, uh...
...run out and get you some ice cream!
Hello, cats.
You shouldn't have
crossed Mister Big, cat.
Oh, of course!
You must be Mister Big's stupid goons.
Top Cat's always talking about
how incredibly dumb you are!
Don't listen to them,
I never said such a thing.
Yeah, he told us how dumb you are.
You should meet
Mister Big's stupid goons.
They are undoubtedly
the dumbest thugs in town!
See?
This little sniveling,
lying feline has been feeding you...
...a bag of bull. He ain't tough.
He's the cowardliest, snivelingest,
grovelingiest con cat
anyone has ever had...
...the misfortune to know!
Okay, where were we?
Get your stinking paws off my cat!
Yoshia-yaya!
Ya! Take this!
Oh, isn't that adorable?
Get out of here!
Run and keep running!
I'll be all right.
You heard the lady!
Well, I've enjoyed meeting you
but I have to move on. Bye!
This is it? Are you going away,
just like that?
Don't leave, we need you.
When we met you we were just
simple buffoons,
and look at us now.
Chased by the city's
most dangerous monsters!
Who are out to kill us!
How could we ever thank you?
Hey, it's not all bad news,
you've all passed my training!
- Can you...
- What?
Of course you have,
you are now
honorable members of my gang.
And as honorable members of my gang,
you must pay your membership fee!
- What?
- That'll be 500 dollars each.
We've got a buck, 40.
And a dead grasshopper.
Deal! You can keep the bug.
Only a chosen few have this badge,
you must honor it, live up to it.
And most importantly,
pay me each month
for a yearly maintenance fee.
Understood?
No badge for me?
You don't need it, you're
coming with me, Benny the Ball.
- Give me your hand.
- What?
Okay, now, first of all
we got to call for help.
All I need is a payphone.
Oh, great!
Benny boy, hand over the dollar, 40...
...our former associates gave us,
please.
What?
Alright then,
I guess we'll have to walk
to my old friend Officer Dibble.
He'll know what to do.
What?
Officer Dibble is your friend?
But he's a cop!
Why is he and I'm not?
Because a friend would
never lose something...
...his friend asked him to take care of.
I'm sorry, let's go, okay?
Anyway, as I told you before,
I work better solo.
Okay, TC,
I guess I'm going to check on my mom.
I've had about enough from you,
Mrs. Handy!
I've got a half a mind to...
What, hit me?
You don't have the guts!
Ma!
Benny boy!
My boy, my precious baby boy!
I've been so worried about you!
It's true, she won't shut up about it.
I'm okay, ma.
I'm sorry
I couldn't tell you where I was.
After those hooligans tore
the place apart,
well, I was just beside myself.
I would never have had
the money to fix the place up...
if I hadn't used
those sparkly beads you left...
...to make a fancy cat collar.
I'm sorry, Ma, I...
Sparkly beads?
Yes, the ones you left
in the leather bag.
You made a cat collar out of them?
- For who?
- That singer lady,
the one at the nightclub?
She's very glamorous! Ooo-la-la!
Furletta DuChat!
At the Starlight Club?
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
Top Cat won't be mad
at me anymore! Thanks, Ma!
You take a lot of showers, Officer.
You should try licking your body up,
it's healthier for your skin.
Oh, is that so?
You should be at Granny's!
The goons showed up.
What? Is she okay?
Of course she is, those poor goons.
But where's Benny?
He went to check on his mom.
What? No!
Mister Big has his goons
watching that place!
I need you both to bust Mr. Big!
Oh, gosh, if this gets
to Chief Thumbton, I'll be fired!
Let's go!
- Pants first!
- A wise choice.
Pst!
Why, if it isn't Top Cat!
Shh! Benny here?
I think he went to the Starlight Club.
Would you like a rotten cabbage?
No thanks, I'm watching my figure.
You will always be...
...with me
Oh, silly-silly me!
I forgot my catnip!
Miss DuChat!
Oh, God. This is a hit!
Miss DuChat, please, come.
Miss DuChat!
They're demanding an encore!
- You've got to get out here...!
- What's the problem?
Miss DuChat, we need her to
come out but she doesn't answer.
Don't worry, sir,
I'll take good care of this.
Miss DuChat, step aside!
I will burst the door open
in a dramatic fashion on three.
One.
But, but, I...
Oh, yeah, Two!
The French are glad...
We must find Benny, remember?
But I prefer a man...
...who lives and gives.
We already have.
I guess.
...jewels.
A kiss on the hand may be...
Oh, Benny boy!
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat.
Or help you at the automat.
I love you, you are magnificent!
Oh my gosh!
Furletta DuChat is bald?
No! She stole from Mr. Big.
And oh, whatever, just go, get him!
Come back here you!
I'm back!
I found them!
- I found them!
- What?
I said I found them!
Oh, get up! They're getting away.
Hey, that's the cat Mr. Big is
offering a reward for!
Those men took Benny through that door.
Lovely evening, gentlemen.
Okay, you asked for it!
- Wait, we need to rescue Benny.
- Taxi!
You've got to hide
until things cool down a bit.
Here is some money,
go to Florida. To the airport!
I promise I'll rescue Benny.
Sir?
Sir! Sir?
I said coach, business or first class?
Eh... First, first class, I guess.
No, wait!
Do you have anything
more expensive than first class?
Well, there's Platinum Class.
It's just like first class,
but you get to rest your feet
on a tourist class person.
I'll take it!
And forget about Florida,
make it Saint-Tropez!
Yes, sir.
Ohh, platinum class!
Can you put that up, sir?
We're about to take off.
Of course.
You're a true friend.
Take it, it's yours now.
Your attention, please.
There will be no more departures today.
Thank you...
Would you stop doing that?
Oh, just get used to it!
Dibble, we're going to rescue Benny.
- What? We?
- Yes, but we can't do it alone.
You won't have to.
What's this now, Grand Central Terminal?
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Well, TC, with those goons after you,
we thought you might need our help.
Granny Dibble told us
you might be here...
...and gave us a spare key.
And I wanted to show you
this ice cube I found...
...that's shaped like a cow!
Oh no, someone stole my ice cube!
And my pocket's wet!
So what do you say,
are we a gang again?
Yes, yes we are!
- My liege, are you..?
- Of course not!
My eyes are just sweating!
Yeah yeah, very moving.
But how are we going to rescue Benny?
Elementary, my dear Dibble!
Do you have any cheese?
I need to carve a badge.
No, no cheese! Never!
We're going to talk to Chief Thumbton!
I told you, Dibble,
what would happen to you...
...if anything happened to them!
You're discharged from Mr. Big's case!
Get out of my sight!
Go wash my car!
But, but, but, but...
Not another word out of that mouth!
Leave my car alone! You're fired!
Does Chipotle Cheddar work for you?
So, like I said
before this long flashback,
Why should I stick my neck out for you?
Listen bro,
how about you take
our tailed buts us out of here...
...and bring us to Mr. Big?
You get the reward and then we escape.
A win-win!
Meow.
Wait! How come you know
about this secret door?
And I used to work for Mr. Big.
But now I'm... I'm just his slave!
His pizza slave!
Pizza.
That... big fat gangster took
my baby away from me.
I loved Eleanor so much!
Ain't this just the best thing
in the world, ha, ha, ha, ha?
Apart from all the threatening
and the killing,
a really burning-hot Margarita pizza!
It's cold!
You have insulted me.
Now you'll have to deliver me
hot pizza every day,
without Eleanor!
Because she is going to be as cold...
- ...as my Margarita!
- No!
Eleanor was your bike?
A hell of a hell cat, you're.
Yes. And I owe her.
I want Mr. Big to feel the loss
of something he really loves.
Cats, I have a plan...
Yes, again.
We'll use the diamonds
to rescue Benny...
...and free you from Mr. Big!
Are you in?
I'm in!
I've been following you around
so we could join forces, man.
My enemy's enemy is my friend.
My name is Spook,
Hell Cat Spook.
Deal, Hell Cat, Spook!
Now, I know how to
take down Mr. Big for good!
I don't know, pulling a con
on Mr. Big will be tough.
And who said anything
about fooling Mr. Big?
Say, boss.
The pizza guy is here!
We didn't order that much food.
If you expect me to pay for all that...
Trust me,
there's an extra in this box...
...that you're going to love.
Oh, is it garlic bread?
Well, well...
It's just stupid Top Cat!
You've been a nuisance to me
and my operation, cat.
And you're going to pay with your life.
Allow me to talk you into more
interesting ways of collecting.
I can offer you...
Quiet!
Bla-bla-bla!
Now let's make a deal.
You get Top Cat, and I get Benny.
I've got a score to
settle with that fur ball.
Get me out of here.
Ooh, one second.
I've got a score to
settle with that fur ball.
A personal vendetta, eh?
I like your style.
Move it, you're free!
I'm free? Yay!
Wait, what's the catch?
He's probably going to kill you.
Alright, hand over Top Cat.
Not just yet,
I also want the reward money!
You want both?
He wants both!
You can have one.
Fine, I'll take Benny.
All right, I'm free!
Come on.
Just one more thing.
If you found Top Cat,
then you found my diamonds too.
Hand them over.
Now!
Here you go, boss.
Yes, my diamonds. Come to papa!
See what he wants with the blue one.
And then,
take care of him permanently.
This is it, Fancy, your shining moment.
Help!
You've got to help me!
Help, someone help! Me...
Top Cat!
Oh, why won't anyone help me?
Me! Fan...
I mean, Top Cat!
Got ya!
Hey, what's going on?
Mind your own business!
This cat is mine, all mine!
Wait a minute, that's the guy
from the wanted posters!
And the reward is
fifty-thousand dollars!
I want that reward!
No, I want that reward.
He wants the reward.
Well, too bad,
because I found him first!
Hey!
Please, everyone, calm down.
Look closely.
It doesn't say that only one
person can collect the reward.
Why, technically, you can each
get fifty-thousand dollars...
- ...for turning me in!
- Hold on a second!
It almost sounds like
you want to get caught!
Anyone else think I want to get caught?
- No, man, it's cool.
- Good.
Get him!
Help, someone help, help please!
Hey, what's Top Cat doing here?
Help, they're right after me!
I'll explain later. Keep moving!
Hey, what's that cat doing in here?
I'll escape deeper
into my enemy's hideout.
I want Top Cat's blood!
I'll save you, Top Cat!
No, Benny, come back here!
Hey, come back here, you!
Come!
Bienvenue.
Table for 300?
Come on, he went this way!
Oh, hey, a pizza crumble!
Hey, is there any chance
you can pass me some Parmesan?
Hm, crunchy, not bad...
Shut up, cat!
I've had it with you!
Everyone shoot that box
and spare no ammo!
On my count. One, two...
I'll save you, Top Cat!
Benny!
What are you doing?
We caught Top Cat,
and we each came to
collect the 50 grand!
You idiots!
That's not Top Cat!
I already have Top Cat
trapped inside this box!
I'm too handsome to die!
Shoot that box already!
Top Cat?
Hello. Have you forgotten good old me?
Anyone around, anyone?
No!
Where is Top Cat?
May I have your attention, please?
So you've all decided to pursue
a career on bounty hunting.
A wise choice,
but why settle for a measly 50 grand?
Ha! I, my fine friends,
can offer you something better!
Wow! Something better is
almost always better!
What have you got, bud?
Everyone get out of my place
and shut that guy up!
Please continue.
A priceless burial mask,
straight from the grave to your door!
It's like having an Egyptian
king right in your own home,
but without the stench of
his rotting corpse.
I always wanted to be buried
in an Egyptian mask!
What else are you offering?
Bars of gold! Each one more...
...goldier than the last!
Hey, how do I know that's real gold?
Wow, soft! That is real gold!
And you all thought that
50 thousand dollars was a lot?
Well, how about 50 thousand and one!
But tell us,
how can we obtain such precious items?
Bring Mr. Big in to the police!
But act now, because
this offer ends in two minutes!
Oh, no!
What are you doing?
Get away from me!
What are you waiting for?
Take care of Top Cat's gang!
You made a big mistake.
Was that French?
I never could resist French!
You know? You're actually
quite beautiful.
Say goodbye!
No, stay!
Bad Dog! Bad Dog! Bad Dog!
Cheese it!
Ah, Mop Fu!
You know, Mr. Big?
I feel sorry for you.
You have money, power
and priceless treasures.
But you don't have the one thing
that really matters.
Friends.
Friends like mine.
Nooooooo...!
I really should've thought
of a better line.
The friends thing was kind of cheesy.
Oh, oh, I know!
Hey, hey, Mr. Big...
Yeah, that's better.
Thanks for saving me, TC.
Of course Benny,
you're part of my crew, ha ha.
I mean, our crew.
And we never leave a man behind.
Well, here,
I hope you can accept my apology.
Apology accepted, friend!
Well, with Mr. Big taken care of,
we are free to do what we want.
But what do we want?
I'll tell you what we want!
To start a new life
in an amazing new place!
Meet me in an hour
and I'll explain everything!
I've just got something to do first.
What!? Dibble!? I fired you!
What are you doing here?
What are any of you doing in here?
Can someone who talks
please tell me what's going on?
Chief,
we caught the nasty beast
who's been terrorizing the city.
You caught my mother-in-law?
That's rich!
No, no, seriously though, no.
We caught Mr.Big.
Nice work!
We've been trying to
bring him in for years!
Mr. Big, your reign of crime is over!
And, Dibble, you're back on the force!
Thanks, Chief!
Hey! What about our reward?
Reward, what reward?
Dibble!
Oh, this is the perfect
shiny spot for you.
Why all this meowing
and crying, shorties?
They're closing the orphanage
because we can't pay the rent.
Yes, and teacher says we must
have a plant-a-tree-day...
...so we can remember
something good happened today.
Well, yes, we'll remember the tree,
because we are going to live under it.
Wait, wait, wait a second,
glum shorties!
You can't plant trees in here!
You see, I'm with the city's
department of pipelines.
And we're standing over
the city's main Jell-O...
...distribution center.
Oh, man! We won't even
have a tree to live under!
Hey, it's going to be okay.
Hey, kids, what do you know?
I was holding my map upside down.
No pipes here.
Go, go dig yourselves crazy.
Look!
Diamonds!
- We found diamonds!
- Yeah!
- We're saved!
- We're rich!
- Well done!
- Tell me about it!
The orphanage is saved!
We have a home!
Oh, yeah!
Hey, TC, we're ready to start our
new lives in our fancy new place!
About that fancy new place, uh...
It's here!
- Looks homey!
- It has a rustic romance to it!
Did I mention
how homey and rustic it looks?
I was afraid we'd be
in some sell-out penthouse, man!
It's good to have friends, isn't it, TC?
Friends, you guys?
You're not my friends!
You're my family.
You mean it TC, you sure?
Of course, as sureas my name is Top Cat!
Hey, what do you know?
Trumpets!
Top Cat
The most effectual Top Cat
Whose intellectual close friends
get to call him T.C.
Eh... who's next?
Top Cat
The indisputable leader of the gang
He's the boss, he's the whip
He's the number one VIP,
he's the most tip top
Top Cat
Yes, he's the chief, he's the king
But above everything,
he's the most tip-top, Top Cat.
Yes, he's the chief, he's the king
But above everything,
he's the most tip-top
Top Cat!