Torturous (2012) Movie Script
Whats going on here?
Where am I?
Please.
Wait.
No. This is a mistake.
Youve got the wrong guy.
Believe me, please!
Im just a fucking career counsellor!
Really? Youre not Craig the camp counsellor?
Who? No.
Im Greg, the career counsellor Greg.
Greg!
Career counsellor?
Whats that screaming?
That means Lincolns here today.
You wouldnt want to meet Lincoln.
Im pretty sure that fucker ate my Lean Cuisine.
I know right. What type of person does that to another coworker?
Sun-dried Tomato Pesto too, my favorite.
I was really looking forward to it.
Mean.
Its not you.
Its a tough working environment for a professional.
Im going to level with you.
Its not the first case of mistaken identity here.
Please. I have a family.
A family. Thats nice.
No its too late.
Too late.
Its not too late. Let me go, I wont tell anyone.
No I mean its too late for me to switch careers.
The world doesnt revolve around you, you know
People change careers even into their 50s and 60s.
In the industry we call it re-careering.
Really?
Yes.
I see folks like you all the time, stuck
in a dead end job.
It's killing me.
Yes!
No. Lets focus, back to work.
You might feel a little pinch.
Youve got to be kidding me!
You see what I mean? So unprofessional!
Im supposed to drill you. Thats what I do.
Im not the meathook guy, Im the drill guy!
Get!
It!
Out!
There you go buddy, good as new.
The least you can do is let me go now.
No. but youre safe.
From meathooks.
Oh Im going to drill you in a bit,
but meathooks are completely off the table!
Mister.
You did a wonderful job on my arm.
It was nothing. My entire family are Registered Nurses.
Except for me.
Is that something you want?
Are you messing with me?
No. Look, its a natural fit. Youve got the skills, the sensitivity
You want my advice? Find yourself a continuing care attendant
position then work your way into nursing.
Whoa. Me, a nurse. Imagine that.
Mother would be very proud. Very proud.
Can I do this?
Yes. If you want to. Youll have to give up
this job, I mean right this second!
Take some courses. Prepare for the interview. You can
make the change, I believe in you.
It all sounds so good. But Ive got this pension building up.
Do you know anything about porting a pension?
Fuck your pension!
Think of that bastard Lincoln, eating your Lean Cuisine.
You. Need. A Change!
I hate my job. I do. I will.
Ill walk away and never look back.
Thank you.
Youre going to make a great nurse.
This is so awesome. Ill admit, you had me pretty worried.
Can you untie me now?
Craig. I cant untie you. Im just the warmup guy.
Lincoln, youre up. Im leaving early.
So Lincoln, do you like your job?
Craig. I love my job!
Where am I?
Please.
Wait.
No. This is a mistake.
Youve got the wrong guy.
Believe me, please!
Im just a fucking career counsellor!
Really? Youre not Craig the camp counsellor?
Who? No.
Im Greg, the career counsellor Greg.
Greg!
Career counsellor?
Whats that screaming?
That means Lincolns here today.
You wouldnt want to meet Lincoln.
Im pretty sure that fucker ate my Lean Cuisine.
I know right. What type of person does that to another coworker?
Sun-dried Tomato Pesto too, my favorite.
I was really looking forward to it.
Mean.
Its not you.
Its a tough working environment for a professional.
Im going to level with you.
Its not the first case of mistaken identity here.
Please. I have a family.
A family. Thats nice.
No its too late.
Too late.
Its not too late. Let me go, I wont tell anyone.
No I mean its too late for me to switch careers.
The world doesnt revolve around you, you know
People change careers even into their 50s and 60s.
In the industry we call it re-careering.
Really?
Yes.
I see folks like you all the time, stuck
in a dead end job.
It's killing me.
Yes!
No. Lets focus, back to work.
You might feel a little pinch.
Youve got to be kidding me!
You see what I mean? So unprofessional!
Im supposed to drill you. Thats what I do.
Im not the meathook guy, Im the drill guy!
Get!
It!
Out!
There you go buddy, good as new.
The least you can do is let me go now.
No. but youre safe.
From meathooks.
Oh Im going to drill you in a bit,
but meathooks are completely off the table!
Mister.
You did a wonderful job on my arm.
It was nothing. My entire family are Registered Nurses.
Except for me.
Is that something you want?
Are you messing with me?
No. Look, its a natural fit. Youve got the skills, the sensitivity
You want my advice? Find yourself a continuing care attendant
position then work your way into nursing.
Whoa. Me, a nurse. Imagine that.
Mother would be very proud. Very proud.
Can I do this?
Yes. If you want to. Youll have to give up
this job, I mean right this second!
Take some courses. Prepare for the interview. You can
make the change, I believe in you.
It all sounds so good. But Ive got this pension building up.
Do you know anything about porting a pension?
Fuck your pension!
Think of that bastard Lincoln, eating your Lean Cuisine.
You. Need. A Change!
I hate my job. I do. I will.
Ill walk away and never look back.
Thank you.
Youre going to make a great nurse.
This is so awesome. Ill admit, you had me pretty worried.
Can you untie me now?
Craig. I cant untie you. Im just the warmup guy.
Lincoln, youre up. Im leaving early.
So Lincoln, do you like your job?
Craig. I love my job!