Totally Killer (2023) Movie Script

(distorted chatter and laughter)
(playful chatter)
CHRIS: Do you want to hear a story?
I have to warn you, it's a disturbing one.
And it took place right here
in this peaceful, idyllic town of Vernon.
35 years ago,
three girls were found brutally murdered.
On October 27, 1987,
Tiffany Clark was found butchered
in her family garage,
stabbed 16 times on the night
of her sweet 16th birthday.
At a cabin in the woods,
16-year-old Marisa Song
was killed two days later.
Also stabbed 16 times.
And two days after that,
on Halloween night,
16-year-old Heather Hernandez
was stabbed 16 times
in the parking lot of Billy's Boardwalk.
The murderer vanished.
According to eyewitnesses,
the Sweet 16 Killer
wore all black and a mask,
which has become infamous in Vernon,
where every Halloween,
(over phone speaker):
people still dress up as the murderer.
(phone beeps)
Welcome to
The Sweet 16 Killer Podcast Tour,
brought to you by true crime journalist
Chris Dubasage.
I'm your host Chris Dubasage.
To my left, the home of Tiffany Clark,
the Sweet 16 Killer's first victim.
It has since been
turned into a Zatta Burger.
ANGIE: Hey, murder tour.
Can I interest anyone
in a free sample of our Zatta Fry Holes?
- (muffled): Oh, thank you.
- CHRIS: Uh, yes, it was here
that the Sweet 16 Killer
began their murderous rampage
- through the town of Vernon.
- Hi.
- Thank you.
- Killing three people.
I don't know about you,
but when I think serial killer,
I think, like, at least six people.
(chuckles)
Thank you, Angie. We appreciate that.
Let's give it up for Angie,
who wishes there were more people killed.
- I...
- Okay.
Moving on to our next crime scene.
- (phone beeps)
- (suspenseful music plays over phone)
MAN (muffled): How are we gonna eat this?
WOMAN (muffled): I don't know.
(rock music playing loudly)
When the gold's in our fingers
Glittering in our snifters
We'll look at this time
'Cause we'll never forget
When we ignored the friction
When they told us it's fiction
When we kept on running
When our feet got wet
- PAM: Jamie.
- We take...
- (song stops)
- Too loud.
- I am just trying to save your eardrums.
- (sighs)
Oh, God.
Wish you'd pick a band
where I didn't know the lead singer.
I mean, Eddie Royal was
such a jerk in high school.
Well, he's amazing now
and owns a clean water charity, so...
PAM: Honey, he's giving the middle finger.
JAMIE: Yeah, to single-use plastic.
(clicks tongue)
Jamie, if you're gonna borrow my things,
at least take care of them.
This is vintage.
I didn't leave it there.
I was about to put it on.
I'm meeting Amelia.
Wait.
Jamie.
You're meeting Amelia? For what?
She won two tickets
to the Killer Instinkt concert.
BLAKE: Hey, honey, check this out.
Norm Dubasage is reporting
from the hurricane in Florida.
- God is angry tonight, Tom...
- BLAKE: I mean, it's incredible.
He doesn't even have his hood up.
I think he might get
a second Pulitzer for this.
Sweetie, how about we all stay in
and-and hand out Halloween candy together?
You love doing that.
No, Mom, you love doing that.
Oh, my God, Dad, what are you wearing?
(chuckles): What?
I'm Zac Efron.
But, you know, back in the day,
I used to be jacked just like him.
Okay. And, Mom, how come
you're not wearing a costume?
PAM: I am.
I am Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club.
Hmm?
Oh. Okay, right.
Honey, who else is going to the concert?
God, what's the big deal, guys?
I'll be home by curfew.
Sweetheart, you know how hard
this time of year is for us.
I mean, especially now that...
you're the same age as we were.
So I can't go to a concert because
your friends were murdered 35 years ago?
BLAKE: Okay.
I would never have spoke
to my mother like that.
Well, you don't speak
to Grandma at all, so...
I'm just saying, it's not 1987 anymore.
You can track my location.
I have key chain pepper spray,
a rape alarm.
You've made me take self-defense classes
since I was seven.
You gave me a protective crystal
you got from a psychic.
We're just trying to keep you safe.
Oh, my God, Mom. You need to stop, okay?
This has nothing to do with me.
You know, I sort of wish
you guys would just get over it.
Go. Fine, go.
But your father is driving you,
he's waiting till it's over,
and he's driving you back home.
(phone dings)
What's up?
Nothing. Um, just a-a group mom chat.
- It's not...
- Okay. Dad, let's go.
I don't want to miss the opener.
PAM: Honey.
Stay safe, honey. I love you.
(Jamie groans)
(door opens, closes)

You know, when you sit in the back
like I'm an Uber driver,
it kind of hurts my feelings.
- Dad, please.
- (phone clicking)
One star.
Hey, I-I thought
you're going to get Amelia.
Yeah, I texted her we're here.
Why don't you just knock?
No, Dad.
It's so rude. Ugh.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, Ms. Creston.
- LAUREN: Hi, Jamie.
Have fun at the concert.
- I did bring weed gummies. Sativa.
- Thank God.
- Thank God.
- I got you.
Hey, Lauren.
Uh, doing anything fun tonight?
Just going to work.
Weirdly, the manufacturing industry
doesn't celebrate Halloween.
- All right. Uh, good to see you.
- JAMIE: Let's go.
AMELIA:
We need to be there, like, yesterday.
BLAKE: Would you stop?
- JAMIE: Can I stop? Can you go?
- Yes, I will.
- (kids chattering excitedly)
- (doorbell rings)
- PAM: Oh, what do I have here?
- KIDS: Trick or treat!
PAM: Happy Halloween.
Oh, I love these costumes.
An old-school witch.
MAN: Come on, kids. Time to head home.
Happy Halloween.
Yeah. Happy Halloween.
(sighs)
Why do they even bother
putting these in the variety pack?
- (scoffs)
- (continues sifting through candy)
- (floorboard creaks)
- (gasps)
- (knock on door)
- (gasps)
Oh, my God.
(panting) Okay.
(scoffs) Oh, I hate these costumes.
Sorry, I'm a bit on edge.
Trick-or-treating by yourself?
Okay, this really isn't funny.
Oh, my God. Oh, my... No.
(lock clicks)
(doorknob rattling)
(keypad beeping)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Calling the police.
(grunting)
I've been worried about being murdered
since I was 16.
You thought I wouldn't be prepared?
(panting, groaning)
(whimpering)
(pepper spray spraying)
The cops will be here any second.
(panting)
What?
(Pam screams, grunts)
Help! Help!
Help!
(groans)
(whimpering)
(screaming, crying)
(sirens wailing in distance)
No! No!
Stop. (whimpers)
- (sirens growing closer)
- (stabbing continues)
- KIDS: Trick or treat.
- (stabbing stops)
- (both screaming)
- (sirens approaching)

(indistinct police radio chatter)
CHRIS:
I'm at the home of the Hughes family,
where beloved member of the community
and my friend Pam Hughes
was just murdered.
Stabbed 16 times.
(sobbing)
Police have yet to release
an official statement,
but judging by the eyewitness accounts,
the Sweet 16 Killer has returned.
Which means no one is safe.
SUMMERS: Of the many challenges
I've faced as your principal,
none could have prepared me
for something like this,
saying goodbye to my dear friend
and your guidance counselor Pam Hughes.
Jamie, our prayers are
with your family during this tragic time.
But we're not just dealing with grief,
are we?
We're also dealing with
the return of the Sweet 16 Killer.
I'd like to turn it over to Coach Finkle,
who's going to, uh, talk us through
some self-defense moves.
RANDY: Yeah, so, uh,
the first thing you want to do
if you see the killer is run.
Remember,
avoid the knife...
keep your life.
Go, Devils.
(school bell ringing)
Jamie, can we speak with you for a second?
JAMIE: I'd rather not,
but that question sounded rhetorical.
What's up?
I know it's hard to lose someone
that you love.
Your mom was always such a wonderful lady.
She was always so nice to me.
Can you stop saying "was"?
I'm sorry.
Listen, the sheriff has
some questions for you.
You know where your dad was
the night your mom was murdered?
Jesus, Kara, you don't want
to warm up to that?
My dad didn't kill my mom.
What do you know about your mom's
relationship with Chris Dubasage?
The murder tour podcast guy? I don't...
They didn't have a relationship.
We looked at her phone.
Lot of texts between those two.
Is your dad the jealous type?
You've always hated my dad.
But maybe it's time to let go
of whatever old high school bullshit
you've been hanging on to
and do what your broke-ass rent-a-cop dad
failed to do 35 years ago
and catch the fucking killer!
(school bell ringing)

(distorted, over speaker):
Billy the Beaver...
- "...fun." (chuckles)
- (metallic creaking)
Billy the Beaver...
"...fun." (chuckles)
- Billy the Beaver...
- Sorry.

AUTOMATED VOICE: ...four, three,
- two, one.
- (rapid knocking)
(mechanical whooshing)
Sequence failed.
Why are they having the science fair
in the most haunted place imaginable?
Principal Summers got it for free.
- You know, to help bring people back in.
- Mm.
This used to be the place
to hang in Vernon,
but now it's just another stop
on the murder tour.
Is this seriously your project?
A photo booth?
- It's more than just a photo booth, Derek.
- What is it, then?
Something that's gonna
change the world as we know it.
But good luck with your compost.
Box of shit vegetables.
When are you gonna tell people
you're building a time machine?
AMELIA: When I actually make
a time machine that works.
If you tell people it's possible
and it isn't possible,
then you're just the lunatic
that tried to invent time travel.
You really think you can do it?
I think I'm close.
Have you at least told your mom
you're using her designs?
AMELIA: No.
She'd just tell me not to bother.
You know, I think she almost had it.
But she just gave up.
I'm gonna show her
just how brilliant she really is.
If I can get this thing to work.
What's wrong with it?
I don't know.
I thought it had something to do
with the Wi-Fi.
- It has Wi-Fi?
- Yeah, it needs it.
To sync with your phone's GPS.
Without it, the chrono-locator can't make
sure you come back to the same place,
and you'll just be, like,
floating around in space.
Hmm.
Why is it set to October 27, 1987?
Oh, well, um, because that's the day
that the first murder happened.
I just thought that if we could stop
the Sweet 16 Killer from
killing in the first place...
My mom would still be alive.

CHRIS: In an emergency episode
of The Sweet 16 Killer Podcast,
(over computer): the killer has returned.
Tiffany Clark, Marisa Song,
Heather Hernandez
and now, 35 years later, Pam Hughes.
What made him come back?
Why now? And why her?
And is the killer still lurking
in the shadows,
stalking his next victim,
or is he hiding in plain sight?
Police once again have no clues
to the whereabouts of the killer.
He could be hiding anywhere,
watching, waiting...
(knock on door)
BLAKE: Oh. Sorry.
Uh, I just... Are-are you hungry?
I ordered us some pizza.
No. No. Thanks, Dad.
I didn't know
that you listened to that podcast.
Was Mom friends with Chris Dubasage?
Sheriff Lim said they texted.
No.
She wasn't friends with Douchebasage.
The guy's a vulture.
He turned tragic murders
into entertainment.
Then why would she text him?
Because she wanted to help
find the killer.
The cops gave up a long time ago.
Chris was the only one
still investigating.
So you knew him in high school?
Uh, I mean, we all knew each other.
He had a crush on your mom,
and her and I were still friends then.
We didn't get together until much later
when we got home from college.
But, I mean, thank God
we didn't get together in high school
because it would've never lasted.
I remember when we found out
we were pregnant with you.
We were down at the boardwalk and...
and we went on the Quantum Drop,
you know, the-the ride.
(Blake chuckles)
We were both throwing up so much, and...
and your mom kept throwing up,
and so she took a pregnancy test,
and that was it.
We got you.
(chuckles softly)
Now, do me a favor.
Stop listening to Chris Dubasage.
CHRIS: Jamie.
Hi.
- Chris.
- I know.
I am so sorry about your loss.
- Would you mind if I recorded this?
- Were you and my mom having an affair?
Of course not.
We were just friends.
She wanted to help find the killer.
Why would she keep that a secret?
I-I don't know.
I mean, your dad
isn't exactly my biggest fan.
Hmm. He likes your dad, though.
Says he's gonna win another Pulitzer.
My podcast has won five Podsy Awards.
It's not the same thing.
No.
Did your mom ever
say anything to you about a note?
What note?
She got it back in 1987,
after the last murder.
She found it shoved into her locker.
She never told me about this.
She didn't tell anyone.
She said she was afraid to.
That it would make it real or something.
She told you?
She told me because it was a clue.
Who would want to torture her like that?
Let her live her entire life in fear,
wondering if one day was that day.
Jamie, wait.
(distorted, over speaker):
Billy the Beaver...
- "...fun." (chuckles)
- (creaking)
Billy the Beaver...
"...fun." (chuckles)
(branches rustle)
- (screams)
- (hissing exhale)
- Jamie.
- (screams)
- Oh, my God!
- No, it's me, it's me!
- Oh, my God.
- Did you just pepper-spray the witch?
Little bit. (sighs) I need to talk to you.
I need your help to catch
the Sweet 16 Killer.
He tortured my mom her whole life, and
I can't let him keep getting away with...
Jamie! (screaming)
Run!
Help! Help! Somebody, help! Help!
Help! Somebody, help!
Help!

(panting softly)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Initializing sequence.
- JAMIE: Shit.
- Error. Error. Error. Error. Error.
- (screams, grunts)
- ...in five,
- four, three, two, one.
- Get away from me! Someone, help!
- (machine whirring)
- (shouts)
(electricity crackling)
(rumbling boom)

(panting)
("Venus" by Bananarama playing)
Goddess on the mountaintop
Burning like a silver flame
The summit of beauty and love
And Venus was her name
She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
I'm your Venus, I'm your fire
At your desire
Well, I'm your Venus...
Yeah, it's right back here.
No, sorry, you can't.
You can't use that.
That's, um, out of order.
- Oh, really?
- It's out of order.
- Oh.
- You can't use that.
Sorry.
By the way,
your shirt is super problematic.
Hmm?
WOMAN: Honey, I like your shirt.
She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it...
(clear, over speakers):
Billy the Beaver says,
"Have fun." (chuckles)
Billy the Beaver says, "Have fun."
- Oh, sorry.
- (chuckles) Sorry.
Um, excuse me. What year is it?
Oh, my God.
I know.
The '80s are almost over,
and I haven't even tried coke yet.
They don't know.
- I'm looking for Pam Hughes.
- Who?
Miller. Miller. Sorry. Pam Miller.
She's, uh, she's my friend.
Okay, then she's probably at school,
where you should be.
- I'll give you a ride.
- What? No.
I can't get in a car with you.
You're a total stranger.
You could be a serial killer.
(laughs): Oh, sweetheart.
Would a serial killer
wear Gloria Vanderbilt?
No.
(Jamie coughing)
- JAMIE: Thank you.
- WOMAN: Yeah, you're welcome.
- (power ballad playing over speakers)
- (coughing continues)
- Love the jacket.
- Thank you.
(groans)
And there's the racism.
Knew that was coming.
(groans) God.

Hi.
I'm-I'm Jamie, um... LaFleur,
and I'm an exchange student from, uh,
Prince Edward Island, Canada.
And my old school said they would
send over the papers to enroll me...
- What grade?
- 11th.
There's your schedule.
Oh. Okay.
You don't, you don't need
to verify anything?
Verif... What is this, Fort Knox?
You're late for gym.
Is there... Can I get a different schedule?
I'm just... I'm not really a big gym girl.
Is there, like, another alternative?
(students shouting)
(groans) God.
(whistle blows)
ZANE: That's the game! Switch it out!
How is this school-issued?
- ZANE: Let's go!
- We look like we work at Hooters.

Oh, my God.
ZANE: New kid!
- Get on the court.
- (chuckles): Me? No, I'm...
No, I'm-I'm o... I'm okay. I'm...
"Me? Oh, that's okay." Let's go!
Let's go!
God, so rude.
Today! Today! Today!
Okay, thank you.
You fit right in here.
God.
(whistle blows)
(students shouting)
JAMIE: What the fuck?
(balls whizzing)
What the fuck?
(distorted grunt)
(ears ringing)
- (roars)
- (ball thuds loudly)
(distorted): How is this even legal?
Oh.
Yeah.
I know who did that!

Stay low!
Hey, I'm looking for Pam Miller.
Do you know her?
Uh, yeah, everyone knows Pam.
Oh, great. Um, where is she?
- (grunts)
- There.
(distorted roaring)
You're out, bitch!
Wait. N-No, no.
Pam Miller is, like, nice.
Like, worried about loud music
hurting your eardrums nice.
Are you smoking crack?
Pam Miller's the Wicked Witch of Vernon.
Get off the court, loser!
ZANE: Hot tip.
Next time, catch the ball.
Okay? Then I don't have to touch
your gross little kid blood.
Disgusting.
All right!
Good work out there, winners! Huh?
Wish I could say the same for the losers,
but I can't.
Hit the showers. Let's go.
GROUP: Thank you, Coach Zane.
My brother bought us
a ton of B&J wine coolers.
Oh, my God, yes.
- I love BJs. (chuckles)
- JAMIE: Hey, Pam?
Pam Miller?
Uh, yeah?
MARISA: Take a picture. It'll last longer.
JAMIE: Uh, sorry.
You're just... not what I was expecting.
Uh, I'm Jamie.
From Canada.
I'm... I'm sorry,
I'm not gonna shake your hand
because I'm not 45 and a man.
Come over after school, and you can
set up for the party while I do my hair.
- Okay.
- You know, where I'm from,
birthday parties are considered so lame.
Like, I don't know,
maybe you should cancel it.
Maybe you should fuck off and die.
- Jesus, Mom!
- (girls laugh)
...macita.
Ay. Ay-yi-yi, mamacita.
Oh.
(speaking Spanish): You speak Spanish?
Okay...
...fuck off and die.
(girls laugh)
Three years of Spanish, bitch.
Fine.
You don't want to cancel the party?
I'll cancel the party.
Old people, sick people
and people with dogs.
- That's the order you hate people in?
- Yep.
It's a good order. Yeah.
Hi. I'd like to report a crime
that hasn't happened yet.
I know that sounds crazy,
but go with me here.
Have you seen the movie
Back to the Future?
No, but I heard it's good.
Yeah, it's great, but...
Basically, I'm-I'm sort of living
that movie right now.
Which is how I know
there's gonna be a murder tonight.
Murder? (laughs)
There's never been a murder in Vernon.
Yeah, there's gonna be a murder
tonight at Tiffany Clark's party,
which is also gonna be
filled with underage drinking,
so you should definitely be there
to shut it down anyway.
(coughs): Geez.
Seriously?
I haven't seen you around before.
Yeah, I'm an exchange student.
From Prince Edward Island, Canada.
- Sounds made-up.
- It's not.
It's a real place.
Lim.
You're the sheriff's dad.
Kara's nickname is The Sheriff?
(laughs): That's sweet.
Hey, look, I am giving you the chance
to stop all this horror before it happens.
Who is this?
- It's the killer.
- Who has he killed?
He hasn't killed anyone yet.
- But that's-that's... (scoffs)
- (sighs)
Can you please just watch
Back to the Future?
Okay, I don't know what you troublemakers
get up to in Canada,
but down here,
we don't tolerate shenanigans.
So get the hell back to school,
or I'll arrest you for truancy.
(sighs)
No one's ever gonna believe me.
- I do want to see that movie, though.
- LIM: Mm. Not me.
Hate time-travel movies.
- They never make any sense.
- Mm.
Hi. Me again.
Jamie LaFleur.
Um, I need to know
what class Lauren Creston is in.
I know that's private information,
but it's an emergency.
I have an EpiPen
that she needs due to a...
Earth Sciences, room 2-7-G.
Oh, thanks.
(sighs)
Oh, my God.
Flying on a plane right now
must be insane.
(door opens)
Hi.
Is Lauren Creston in here?
Oh, my God. (chuckles)
You look great.
What's going on?
Can I talk to you in the hall
for a second?
Please tell me you've seen
Back to the Future.
- Of course.
- (sighs) Thank God.
Think of me as Marty McFly.
35 years from now, your daughter,
Amelia, who's my best friend,
builds a time machine
based off of plans from a notebook...
your notebook.
It's called, like, "Lauren Creston's
Brilliant and Unusual Ideas."
And I used the time machine to escape
a killer who had recently resurfaced
after being long dormant
ever since his first murder spree,
which begins tonight.
So I need your help to catch the killer
so he can't kill my mom.
'Cause...
'cause he killed...
'cause he killed my mom in the future.
And then I also need you to figure out
how to modify the time machine
to send me home, because
Amelia said it needs Wi-Fi to work,
and you guys don't have that yet,
so that's... that's not great.
No one knows about my notebook.
Except for me.
'Cause I'm from the future.
Oh, here. I have proof.
Is this the time machine?
No, that's my phone.
Do you want to see the time machine?
Wait, I don't understand.
If the killer's targeting the Mollys,
why wait 35 years to kill your mom?
Who are the Mollys?
Oh, Tiffany, Marisa, Heather, Pam.
They call themselves the Mollys
after Molly Ringwald.
They're obsessed with her.
They even dress like her.
I had no idea
the four of them were so close.
I just thought they knew each other
because it's Vernon
and everybody knows each other.
Here you go.
(sighs) Time machine.
LAUREN: Interesting.
It's weird. It wasn't working before,
but when the killer attacked me
and stabbed the knife into that panel,
it did all of a sudden.
It must have needed
an extra metal conductor.
Yeah, yeah, extra metal conductor.
That's what I said.
(unzips bag)
Is your bag all tools?
You don't have any books?
I read all my books.
Tools are more useful.
Mm.
- What is this? Oh.
- Oh, my God.
- Careful with that nail gun.
- Sorry.
I can't repair a time machine
that my future daughter invented
if I'm killed by clumsiness.
Hey, you're taking this all really well,
by the way.
You don't start trying to invent
time travel without considering
the possibility that people
from the future will need your help.
- That killer thing is surprising, though.
- Yeah.
Speaking of,
if I stop the murders from happening,
will that cause, like,
a rip in the space-time continuum?
I don't know. There are a lot of theories
about time travel.
The one that I consider to be
the most promising is...
How much do you know about
quantum mechanics?
I saw Endgame.
But I didn't really understand it.
All right.
Um, imagine that time is like a river.
You got out of the river,
ran upstream and then jumped back in.
Now everything keeps flowing,
so whatever changes you make,
they'll trickle downstream.
So if I change everything for the better,
it's okay.
Theoretically.
And if time keeps flowing,
what's happening back home?
Billy the Beaver says, "Have..."
(distorted): "...fun." (chuckles)
Billy the Beaver...
Let's get all the science fair kids
out of here and secure the location.
Okay.
Kara, where's Jamie?
Have they found her yet?
- No, not yet.
- (sighs)
(phone clicking)
What are you doing?
Taking notes for a new episode?
You know, it's not a good look to be the
guy stopping people from investigating.
Is that what you're doing?
I'm an investigative journalist.
No, your dad is.
You're a tour guide.
AMELIA: Oh, Mr. Hughes! Mr. Hughes!
I know where Jamie is.
She used my time machine.
Um, I made a time machine
for the science fair.
God, she's as weird as her mom.
Jamie's in 1987.
I don't know where my time machine is,
so it must have worked.
I'm just trying to figure...
You like science fiction? Go write a book.
But here, in the real world,
I am gonna solve this case.
BLAKE: Kara!
Uh, I have several follow-up questions.
First question...
- Do I really have to come in with you?
- JAMIE: Yes.
There's a murderer at this party.
No way I'm going in alone.
- (lively chatter in distance)
- (Jamie sighs)
Thanks for letting me borrow some clothes.
Yeah, no problem.
(Jamie sighs)
JAMIE: God, this place is beautiful.
I can't believe
they turned it into a Zatta Burger.
You guys have Zatta Burger yet?
- LAUREN: I have no idea what that is.
- Oh.
- Hey, what's up?
- Randy!
- What's up? Head on in.
- Thanks, dude.
(chuckles): Hey, whoa! I can't let you in.
There's a dress code.
- What? No, there isn't.
- (scoffs) Yeah, there is.
- No nerd jewelry. (laughs)
- Hey.
It's a replica of the first microchip,
commemorating the dawn
of personal computing.
- Yo, shut up, dork. (laughing)
- Hey. Hey.
Hey! Hey!
Stop that!
Oh, shit! Yo, Kara, check this out.
- Dork Summers has a geek-friend.
- (groans)
(Randy and Kara laughing)
Okay, uh, listen up, teen faculty,
I got to find Tiffany...
- Uh, nice try. Oh.
- Unwanted touch.
- Oh, my God. Unwanted touch.
- Unwanted human.
Yo, there's Dungeons & Dragons
down the street. Y'all have fun.
- (laughter)
- JAMIE: No, wait.
Hey! Hey! Wait!
(frustrated grunt)
God, I got to get in there.
I might know another way in.
(grunting)
(grunts)
So you're the exchange student, right?
From Canada?
- Yeah. Uh, Prince Edward Island.
- Oh.
I spent the summer there once
with my aunt. Yeah.
Did you know the average age
on the island is 49.5?
Cool, right?
Great. Great.
Yeah. I'm staying with Lauren.
Uh, yes.
Okay. Round two. (chuckles)
Hey, Doug.
Hey, why don't you give us a boost?
Righteous. Then I'll go back around
to the front, and-and you can let me in.
Great.
- All right.
- All right.
Thank you.
- (straining): I got it, Doug.
- Okay. Okay.
Thanks.
Milady.
Oh, my God.
("Bizarre Love Triangle"
by New Order playing)
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say...
Okay.
Okay, we got to find Tiffany.
Oh, my God.
- (chuckles): That dude is insane, right?
- You mean Blake Hughes?
That's Blake Hughes?
Oh, my God. That's my dad.
- Blake Hughes is your dad?
- Yeah.
And Pam is your mom?
- Uh...
- (screams)
LAUREN: Blake is with Tiffany.
They've been dating
ever since Spring Fling.
Although I'm pretty sure
they cheat on each other a lot.
- That whole group's very horny.
- (Blake and Tiffany panting)
- JAMIE: Oh, my God.
- Yep. There they are, the Mollys.
All four of them dressed like
a different version of Molly Ringwald.
You made it, bitch.
All right, well,
I'm here to stop a murder,
so let's stop a murder.
Dope party, ladies.
What are you doing?
You know what would
make this party even cooler?
The police. Let's call 'em.
I love Sting.
You know, that's a really good idea.
And then they could play
"Don't Stand So Close to Me."
- Thank you.
- You know,
this whole mean girls shtick
is really outdated.
Women should be lifting each other up.
How 'bout I lift these up
- and you get bent?
- (laughter)
All right, and smile for
the yearbook, guys! Yeah!
Hey, hey! No pictures, Douchebasage.
There's beer everywhere.
You trying to get Tiff grounded for life?
Yeah, take another one,
I'll break your camera.
You don't have to be so harsh.
Randy?
Do me a favor?
(grunts) Hey! Hey, what?
What the fuck?
(grunts)
(burps loudly)
Whoo!
(laughs) Boom!
Is that... is that, like, a real person?
I was worried you forgot to let me in.
Kind of relieved to see
you were just being bullied.
(grunts)
- Whoa.
- You will become a miserable person,
never knowing true happiness
and rocking an unflattering haircut
that makes your head look like
a Ping-Pong ball.
That was...
oddly specific.
JAMIE: Sorry. Sorry.
Blakey? Blakey, oh, please,
please don't do this!
What happened?
Some loser narc told him
I made out with Eddie Royal.
You made out with Eddie Royal?
- Yeah.
- Lead singer of Killer Instinkt?
Wait, they have his music in Canada?
Is he famous?
Eddie!
Wait. Tiffany!
MARISA: Looks like another breakup.
Those two are so dramatic.
BLAKE:
I fucking hate that guy! I need a drink.
- JAMIE: Tiffany? Tiffany?
- Oh, my God.
Ladies, Tiffany is in a crisis.
It's time to be good girlfriends
and stay with her the whole night.
Let's never leave her side.
- Randy.
- (fingers snap)
- Come on, let's go.
- What?
(grunting)
- (murmuring)
- BOY: What?
How did you do that?
My mom taught me self-defense.
Tiffany? Tiffany?
(water sloshing in bed)
(panting)
Oh, Eddie, I should've been with you
this whole time.
I'm so glad Jamie made me realize it.
Is it weird that
we're in your parents' room?
I know.
But I heard that Zack Ritrovatti
and Valerie Mosco
are doing anal in my bedroom again.
Besides, I've always wanted
to hook up on a waterbed.
Wait.
I have to pee.
Too many BJs.
Hopefully, there's room for one more.
Oh. Ew. I don't do blow jobs.
You pee out of that thing.
(sighs) Don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
Rock star.
(panting)
Fuck this.
Tiffany!
58%. Shit.
CHRIS (recorded):
Tiffany's body was found in the garage.
Time of death: shortly after midnight.
GIRL: Whoa.
Are you from the future?
Yeah. Where's the garage?
Thank you.
He's gonna write a song about these.
- Eddie?
- (thumping)
Are you hiding?
Tiffany?
Tiffany!
'Cause I'll find you.
Tiffany!
Oh! Aah!
- You said you blocked the door.
- I did.
Wait.
I don't go after boys.
They come after me.
Wait, Tiffany's supposed to be in here.
There's a schedule?
I changed it.
God, where's Tiffany?
Tiffany?
Come on out, Eddie.
The water's warm.
(door creaking)

(laughs)
What the fuck is that mask?
Are you gonna take it off?
Um, if you want to have sex with me,
then, yeah, you will.
Okay, I'm not into this weird shit.
Eddie, what the fuck are you doing?
Ow! What the fuck?
(grunts, gasps)
(groans)
(screaming under loud music)
("The Lady in Red"
by Chris de Burgh playing)
The lady in red
(indistinct chatter)
The lady in...
(screaming continues)
Tiffany? Tiffany?
(screaming continues)
Tiffany!
(gasps)
You're not allowed in... (screams)
JAMIE: He can't get away!
(panting)
(partygoers murmuring)
(girl screams)
GIRL 2: That's Tiffany.
(camera clicks)
(camera clicks)
(indistinct chatter)
Wherever there's trouble,
there's Blake Hughes.
Give me a break here, Dennis.
I already told Ponch what I know.
What about this one?
Want to bring him in for questioning?
No, let him go.
He's a friend of my daughter's.
Thanks, Daddy.
Welcome, sweetheart.
Well, look who it is.
Our new Canadian friend.
You could've stopped this.
I tried to warn you.
And where were you when it happened?
You think I'm a suspect?
There's never been a murder
until you showed up.
You seem to know an awful lot about it.
I was trying to stop it.
She's telling the truth, Sheriff.
She was just protecting Tiffany.
This is an active crime scene.
Nobody move.
- BOY (whispers): Let's get out of here.
- GIRL: Come on.
Let's go! Let's get out of here.
Wait. Wait, Mom... uh, Pam.
Pam. You can't walk home alone.
There's a murderer on the loose.
I don't live that far.
(sniffling)
I'm sorry about your friend.
You know, I didn't even really like her.
She was so mean.
And not even in a funny way like...
like when I convinced Lisa Vitzlaki
that Randy was in love with her
so she sang "Take My Breath Away"
at the talent show.
- That wasn't funny.
- It was to us.
(voice breaking): And Tiffany loved it.
She wasn't a great person,
but she was still my friend, you know?
How did you know that she was in danger?
(sighs) I'm psychic.
And I had a vision that
Tiffany was gonna get murdered tonight.
I tried to stop it.
(chuckles) But I didn't.
Obviously.
But maybe with your help,
we can stop the rest.
Uh, the rest?
There's gonna be more?
Marisa and Heather.
And you.
You're all in danger.
Um, see, this is my, um...
(sighs) This is my...
psychic crystal.
Looks legit.
So how far into the future can you see?
(sighs) Till the year 2023.
(gasps)
- (overlapping chatter over TV)
- ROBOT: You're in direct violation
of penal code 113, section 9.
- (woman screaming over TV)
- You now have five seconds to comply.
- MAN: Help! Help me! Help! Help me!
- ROBOT: Four, three, two, one.
I am now authorized to use physical force.
(screaming and gunfire continues over TV)
Do the machines kill us all?
Um, no.
No, the machines don't... kill us all.
They more just...
rip apart the fabric of our society
via dance videos on TikTok.
They use dance against us?
I cannot believe
Pam Miller's a sci-fi nerd.
Tell anyone and I'll kill you.
Okay, okay, let's, uh, let's focus.
I, um...
I foresee that...
Marisa is gonna be the next victim.
(whispers): Oh, no.
And it's gonna happen the day
after tomorrow at a cabin in the woods.
My God.
Pam, can you think of anyone
who doesn't like the Mollys?
Maybe someone whose life you ruined
or gave some kind of psychological scar
that would make them
want to, like, hunt you down
and-and kill you
in, like, a ritualistic way?
No.
No, no one.
I mean, Alvin, maybe.
We used to make fun of his eye patch.
Oh, uh, and Wendy.
And Tyler.
And Amy Wolf.
Creepy Ron. Fat Trish.
Lisa Vitzlaki, I guess, if we're saying
that the talent show thing wasn't funny.
Oh, uh, and, uh, Jenny Hudson
and Jenny Grisante...
Hi, girls. Just checking on you,
seeing if you need anything.
God, Mom, we're fine!
We're fine!
Okay, well, I know
you've been through a lot tonight...
Yes, we have, and you're just
making it worse, so can you please go?
Leave us!
(quietly):
No wonder Grandma never comes to visit.
(door closes)
You shouldn't talk to your mom that way.
You never know when...
She just cares about you.
(scoffs)
Oh, so, what, like, you have
a great relationship with your mom?
No.
But I wish I did.
And I wish I told her
that I loved her more.
I just didn't understand what she...
Hey. I'm saying this as a friend.
But nobody wants to hear you talk about
how much you love your mom, okay?
Okay. Sorry.
What about Randy? Could he be a suspect?
He's a big dumb meathead.
No. Randy loved Tiffany.
He asked her
to the Spring Fling last year.
He also asked Marisa and Heather and me.
So I can understand
why he would be mad at us.
He can't be mad at you for rejecting him.
That's fucked-up.
Do you think that I should date him?
Just in case he is the killer
and that makes him decide not to kill me?
No, no. Don't date Randy.
That's not who you're supposed to be with.
- Well, then who am I supposed to be with?
- Blake.
Really? Blake?
Oh, my God.
(laughs)
You know, I have always been
so secretly obsessed with Blake.
Oh, I could never do that to Tiffany.
Uh, good, good, because you and Blake
don't get together for a while now.
Like, uh, years from now.
Well, if we're meant to be and timing
doesn't matter and Tiffany's dead...
- I'm gonna have sex with Blake.
- No, no, no.
You're too horny, and you'll-you'll cheat
on each other and-and mess it up,
and then you won't get to go
on the Quantum Drop together
where you'll find out a really important
thing that you're gonna find out.
So just-just no hooking up with Blake.
Until college.
Okay, great.
So, you two will work on
finding the killer,
and then I'll work on
fixing the time mach... m-maker.
Time maker.
It's a fancy word for clock.
(machine beeping, whirring)
(soft whooshing)
- So, is that the time machine 2.0?
- (gasps)
Uh...
No, right now it's just a cheap
piece of shit I got off of Craigslist.
- (sparks pop, machine stops)
- Whoa.
Um, what are you doing here?
CHRIS:
I know everything about these murders.
But a couple of days ago,
I said Tiffany was murdered in her garage.
But she wasn't.
She was killed on her parents' waterbed.
That's a basic detail.
How could I forget that?
The Mandela Effect.
It's a psychological phenomenon where
people remember things that didn't happen.
Like people thinking
Nelson Mandela died in jail.
But there's a theory
that those memories aren't false.
They're just lingering from
a past life that was altered...
via time travel.
Hey, what... what's that?
CHRIS: Oh, "stab the machine."
The cops thought that was a reference
to some heavy metal anarchy lyrics.
That's what led them
to investigate Eddie Royal.
Eddie Royal?
- Yeah.
- Like the lead singer of A Waterbed Away?
(chuckles)
Why would they think that?
He's, like, super emo.
CHRIS: That's so weird.
I thought...
The Mandela Effect, I guess.
What's the "J" at the end?
CHRIS: That's a "J"?
Everyone thought that was a demonic rune.
Do you have more photos from that night?
Uh, yeah, the official crime scene ones
and ones I took at the party
for the yearbook.
(gasps) There she is!
- That's her!
- Holy shit.
AMELIA (laughing): Oh, my God.
Jamie's back in 1987.
That note... The note was a message to me.
"Stab the machine." "Stab the machine."
The killer's knife must have got stuck
in the conductor somehow,
and Jamie's trying to tell me
that I need an extra metal conductor.
Are we sure
that's not just a demonic rune?
It's not a rune, Chris.
Jamie's trying to solve the murders.
But they're all still dead.
Well, yeah, Tiffany is, but Heather and
Marisa's murders haven't happened yet.
Okay, you see, time happens all at once.
It's like a river.
Yeah.
Okay, so...
NORM: Good afternoon.
Last night, we learned
police have taken Eddie Cockburn...
known to students as Eddie Royal...
into custody for questioning.
Why do they think it's Eddie?
They're wasting their time. It's not him.
This tragedy has rocked
the community of Vernon.
For KZFD News, this is Norm Dubasage.
LAUREN: Look at that.
She will be missed.
Mostly.
(laughter nearby)
(Pam whispering indistinctly)
If I fuck up my parents falling in love
and getting married,
will I just, like, disappear?
Back to the Future got that wrong.
No, you would not disappear.
This isn't magic.
If your parents don't get married
and have kids,
then you'd basically just have
no life to go home to.
Because everything would be different.
No one would have any idea who you are.
Save you a seat at lunch.
Great.
(sighs) Hey.
- How's everyone doing?
- MARISA: Ugh.
You're wearing that jacket again?
Is no one here
in touch with their emotions?
Well, I'm in touch with this emotion.
(laughs)
(hands clap)
You know, I'm-I'm sure that
they'll mention something in the yearbook.
They did last year when Fat Trish died.
And I like your jacket.
Uh, who's Fat Trish?
Also, you can't call her that.
Yeah, not anymore. She's dead.
How'd she die?
Car accident.
They said her alcohol level
was, like, really high
and that the car wrapped around the tree.
(scoffs)
Yeah, that's why chicks shouldn't drive.
No, Randy, it's why
people shouldn't drive drunk.
I'm a better driver when I'm drunk.
No, you're not.
I can 100% guarantee you you are not.
That's exactly what a chick would say.
(chuckles)
Blake, wait up.
- PAM: Did you draw that?
- BLAKE: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
That's so beautiful.
You're such an artist.
I don't know.
Maybe I should just cancel my party.
It feels in poor taste now.
But it's your birthday.
Oh, hey, why don't we do,
um, like, a girls' trip?
Just, uh, just the three of us. And Pam.
- Pam?
- (giggles)
- Pam?
- (slapping desk)
Oh, uh, yeah, yeah. Th-That would be fun.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we could, like, uh,
go to the city, you know?
Like a nice, densely populated, well-lit,
non-rural, non-cabin area.
I guess it could be fun
to spend the night at my parents' condo.
(gasps) Yes. Yes.
Condo birthday. I love that for you.
Let's do it.
Also, I was thinking,
a nice way to memorialize Tiffany
and give back to the environment
would be to plant a tree in her honor.
I'm starting a petition, so if you guys
could just all print your names
very clearly here in big block letters
so I can see your handwriting.
- Tiffany hated nature.
- Trees made her sneeze.
Give back to this environment.
(laughter)
Don't worry, it's not my crotch hand.
PARR: So...
tragedy has struck,
and that's very sad.
But there's nothing we can do about it
except move on.
So, take out your beakers.
LaFleur, go partner up with Damon.
(Randy snickering)
Hello! Beakers!
Beakers!
Hello! Thank you.

(horn honks)
(chuckles) Time for condo birthday, bitch!
- HEATHER: Whoo!
- For my birthday,
we all have to flash truckers who honk.
Just so you know,
the condo has a couple rules.
If I point to you,
you have to pound your drink.
We're gonna get wasted, bitches!
What's the deal with Damon?
Who's Damon?
My lab partner.
Oh, you mean Lurch. (chuckling)
Why? Do you like him?
PAM: No one really talks to him.
He also spent all of eighth grade in juvie
because he kept
getting into too many fights.
Yeah, and then he missed most of last year
because of Fat Trish,
so now he's, like, the oldest junior
in the history of America.
What-what do you mean,
um, because of Trish?
She was his sister.
You didn't think to mention this
when we were talking about suspects?
I did say Fat Trish.
Yeah, and you didn't say
that she had a violent brother.
So what?
We've never done anything to Lurch.
Yeah, I actually like Lurch.
He works at Billy's Boardwalk,
and one time, he caught me going down
on Reid DiMento in the Dollhouse
of Horrors and he didn't rat us out.
Oh, my God, you gave Reid
a blow job in there?
Were people around?
Maybe, but I feel like if you go
into the Dollhouse of Horrors,
you can only blame yourself
if you see something
- you don't want to see.
- Mm.
(sighs) This makes me really miss Tiffany.
She hated blow jobs so much.
Pee comes out of there.
(groans)
("Say You're the Only One" by Sierra
playing over speakers)
Oh, is it your nap time?
I haven't really been sleeping.
- (turns up volume)
- Say you're the one for me
Say you're the only one for me
Say you're the one for me...
(door bangs shut)
MARISA (singsongy): We're here!
What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? What is this?
My parents' condo.
No, this is not a condo!
It's not?
Oh, maybe I was thinking of a time-share.
This is a creepy-ass cabin
in the middle of fucking nowhere.
You said we were going to the city.
No, I didn't.
You heavily implied it.
Oh, my God, what's the big deal?
The big deal, Heather,
is that there is a murderer on the loose
specifically targeting your friend group,
and you drove us into the woods.
(gasps loudly) Oh, my God!
I forgot to bring vodka.
- (sighs)
- Okay.
It doesn't matter
because we are going right now.
Come on, everyone. Back in the car.
Oh, my God.
Everyone, inside now! It's the killer.
- Party's here!
- RANDY: Party!
Tell me you brought vodka!
- Well, do I go anywhere without it?
- (squeals)
I'm here, too, and I brought brownies!
(Marisa squeals)
I thought it was just gonna be us four.
(sighs) What is the big deal?
Did you just want to lez out this weekend?
- Hey. Let's party.
- Hi.
Gross!
Not... Your-your comment was gross,
not-not gay peop... Gay people are amazing.
Your comment was...
had homophobic undertones.
RANDY: Yo, y'all need to catch up.
I'm already two deep.
And I drove awesome.
Okay, all the doors
and windows are locked.
This is happening. This is happening.
We are all here in the murder cabin.
Murder cabin!
(all whooping)
Murder cabin, let's go.
JAMIE: Okay, everybody! Guys!
Here's what we got to do.
Everybody, listen up.
There are rules for tonight.
- (all booing loudly)
- Get out of here!
Hey, Mom... macita.
Hot mama.
God, I guess she really did want
to lez out with me this weekend.
- I don't know.
- Okay, everybody, this is very important.
No one goes anywhere alone,
especially you, Marisa.
And absolutely no one goes outside
for any reason.
(laughs):
Oh, we're getting naked in the hot tub.
(excited chatter, laughter)
- BLAKE and PAM: Yes!
- (excited chatter, whooping)
JAMIE:
God, there's a murderer on the loose.
I don't...
(groans)
(branches rustle)
Did you hear that?
KARA: You got to relax, man.
Have another brownie.
No. (grunts)
- I had like five.
- Five?
No wonder you're so paranoid.
- Are those pot brownies?
- Yeah.
(Kara laughing)
I stole a bunch of weed
from the evidence locker.
- There's about a pound in these bad boys.
- A pound?
Okay, so everyone's super high now.
- Whoa. Whoa.
- (laughter)
Mm, yeah.
(scoffs) Goddamn it.
Wait, how come I don't feel anything?
You must have the tolerance of a horse.
I have a little left
if you want to roll a doobie.
What is this?
This is just dirt.
Look at all these twigs.
'Cause it's from the earth.
Man. '80s weed sucks.
Yeah, I could give you a gummy this big
that has 100 times more weed than this.
- Oh, sorry.
- You're... Fuck, my stash, dude.
Sorry.
- You're crazy, man.
- All right.
- (raucous laughter)
- Hey!
Hey, guys!
Guys!
Let's go inside!
(playful chatter)
Hey, guys, there's pizza inside!
Pizza?
(chanting):
Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.
JAMIE: Okay, guys. All right.
- Leave room for Jesus.
- (Blake laughs)
Man, Canada,
you're a little stressed, huh?
I'm-a get you a shot.
You're not supposed to get together
for four years.
You're too horny. Too soon.
My God, you need to stop.
You sound like my mom.
Pam, I'm just looking out for you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
If you're not gonna be fun,
you can't come to the party.
- Enjoy your trees, bitch.
- What...
(sighs) What?
- (knocking)
- Jamie's spending time
- with the environment.
- JAMIE (outside): Guys! Hey!
Are you sure? I hear her.
She'll be fine. She's from Canada.
Fuck.
I should just let him chop up all of you
at this point.
She said there was pizza,
but I don't see pizza.
She must have hidden it somewhere.
BLAKE: Let's find it.
- Oh, she's sneaky.
- Hey, um...
RANDY: We gonna find this pizza.
I don't think that there's pizza.
I think... I don't know...
I think she just, like,
wanted us to come inside.
(chuckles): Aw, man, I'm starving.
Well, I could...
I could make us a pizza.
(chuckles): You could make us...
Are you saying you have pizza stuff?
I was thinking, like, we could improvise.
- Improvise.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, let's improvise.
- Yeah, okay, yeah.
(footsteps)
(knocking)
(frustrated grunt)
(sighs)
Shit. I locked all the windows.
Kara! Kara!
I think there's someone in the house!
There's someone in the house!
I'm in the house.
No.
Where'd you hide the pizza?
I think there's someone in the house!
Kara!
We got all the ingredients
for a Hawaiian pizza.
(chuckles)
How many apple slices do you want?
Um, oh, maybe, like...
Oh, my God, your hand!
(screaming)
Uh... (groans)

(sobbing)
- (cupboard closes)
- Am I gonna die?
Uh, well, I don't think so.
Not if I find the bandages.
I can't tell my mom
that I sliced my hand open
because I was all fucked-up
from four shots and a pound of weed.
Tell her you got into a bike accident.
You're right. I can lie.
You're so smart.
(singsongy): I'm making cocktails.
If anyone wants to stop being lame
and start having some fun.
(exhale echoes)
(groans)

- (floorboard creaks)
- What was that?
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The killer's supposed to come here.
What?
Jamie. She told me.
The blood from my hand
must have gone to my brain.
She didn't want to lez out this weekend.
She's a psychic.
The killer's gonna come here
and kill Marisa.
- Marisa?
- (floorboard creaks)
(grunts) Go!
Barricade the door!
(floorboards creaking)
Heather, you want to play beer pong?
Heather.
Beer pong.
(door creaks)
JAMIE (muffled): Randy!
- Randy!
- (knocks on window)
- No! Hey!
- (pounding on window)
Heather!
- (pounding on window)
- Heather!
- Heather, wake up!
- (pounding on window)
Heather, wake up!
("Let the Music Play"
by Shannon begins playing loudly)
- Then love picked us out for ro...
- Heather!
(song continues in distance)
- Hey.
- What's with the music?
I bet Blake and Pam
didn't want us hearing them
banging the headboard against the wall.
(laughs)
You want to have sex in the hot tub?
Ooh, yeah.
But I suck at foreplay,
so you'll have to use the jets for that.
- Okay.
- (both laugh)
We started dancing...
(Pam grunting)
- Get through that, killer.
- That looks good.
(pounding on window)
JAMIE:
Hey, let me in! The killer's inside!
(pounding on window)
Pam! Pam, the killer's inside!
How did you get up here?
He's gonna kill Heather.
- I thought you said Marisa.
- Randy!
Said let the music play
- (screaming)
- He won't get away
Just keep the groove
And then he'll come back to you again
- (screaming)
- Let it play
Let the music play, he won't get away
This groove he can't ignore
He won't leave you anymore...
Oh, my God, Heather!
- BLAKE: Heather!
- JAMIE: Heather!
- (Heather whimpering)
- PAM: Heather!
JAMIE: Heather!
Heather, get out of there!
- (Heather whimpering loudly)
- (shouting continues indistinctly)
- BLAKE: Heather!
- JAMIE: Heather!
(Blake shouting indistinctly)
JAMIE: Heather!
(whimpering)
Somebody, help me!
Help me!
No!
(screaming)
(stabbing continues)
He's dancing his way back to me...
Hey, get away from her!
(grunting)
We are truly lovers
Magic from the very start
'Cause love just kept me groovin'
- (Blake groaning)
- And he felt me movin'
Even though we danced apart
So we started dancing
And love put us into the groove
(grunting)
As soon as we started to move
(straining)
As soon as we started to move
Love said let the music play
He won't get away
Just keep the groove
And then he'll come back to you again
- Let it play
- Let the music play...
(Blake yells)
(Blake yells)
(panting)
She's alive.

- (phone ringing)
- (quiet chatter)
All right, kids,
we got a real problem here.
- I have some...
- Here you go, Sheriff.
Careful.
What's this?
I hit the killer in the head
with a piece of firewood,
and I soaked up some of his blood
with that paper towel.
You have his DNA.
What's that?
DNA? It's, like...
I don't...
I don't know what it stands for,
but everyone...
It's, like, specific...
to the... to the person.
You just, you just plug it into
the worldwide database.
(Lim and Brody laughing)
Uh, sure, sweetheart, we'll just fire up
the old worldwide "DMA" database.
(Lim and Brody laughing)
(mockingly): Ugh, solving crime. Ugh.
(laughing)
All right, now let's get serious.
Man.
Who else knew
you kids were going to that cabin?
- Nobody.
- Lurch saw us talking in science class.
Maybe he overheard.
LIM: Well, you ever bring
anybody else out there?
Other parties?
What if it wasn't someone
who followed us up there?
What's that supposed to mean?
It means where were you
when Heather was murdered?
- Hold on one minute.
- Jamie freaked me out.
- I hid in the closet.
- And you didn't hear her screaming?
There was music blasting.
- Daddy, I didn't do anything.
- I know, Kara.
Fuck you!
Kara.
Well, what do we do now?
I don't know.
Marisa was the one
who was supposed to die in the cabin.
Wait, what?
She's psychic.
Not anymore.
This is Norm Dubasage for KZFD News.
Fear has gripped Vernon,
as the community mourns a second victim,
and the police still have made no arrests.
Now, unfortunately...
- How are you doing?
- Not great.
The only thing I've changed
is the order they die in.
I was thinking
it could also be two killers.
You know? Like in Scream.
Scream?
Oh. Right. It's not out yet.
It's a movie from the future
that you think stars Drew Barrymore
but then doesn't.
Never mind.
Um, how's the time machine?
Uh, good news and bad news.
I managed to work up a prototype in shop.
Oh, my God.
LAUREN: But it doesn't really work.
That is impressive.
Oh, my God, there's a signal.
How?
I guess they thought it was
some sort of demonic rune.
But like I said, I'm not an anarchist.
And now another girl is dead.
An experience like that, man, changes you.
(girls sighing)
Men showing emotion.
Fascinating.
For KZFD, this is Norm Dubasage.
MAN: And clear.
JAMIE: No, no, no, no. Where'd it go?
- GIRL: Eddie? I love you, Eddie!
- (Jamie scoffs)
- JAMIE: Come back.
- I love you, Eddie!
- The TV satellite.
- It's me, Charlene! Remember?
If I can pirate the TV van's transmission
to this converter,
that could be enough to get you home.
And now the bad news.
I thought the prototype not working
was the bad news.
No, the prototype not working
is just a normal part of the process.
Trial and error.
The bad news is that, given your battery's
rate of parasitic drain,
you have approximately seven and a half
hours until you're stuck here forever.
Fuck.
That's right around the time
Heather's killed.
Or is supposed to be killed.
Where?
The Halloween Carnival. At Billy's.
That they always broadcast.
That's it. That's how we'll get you home.
We'll hijack the live broadcast
at the boardwalk. Okay.
Meet me at Billy's after school.
We have to make sure this thing works
so we can get you home tonight.
Okay, well, I can't go home
until I stop the killer.
Okay, well, if we don't
send you home tonight,
brush up on your Reaganomics because we
have a social studies test on Wednesday.
Ugh.
Come on!
- Hey! Hey!
- (claps)
Too horny! Too soon!
- (Blake and Pam chuckle)
- (vehicle approaching)
(engine backfires)



Whew. Wait, that smells bad.
(grunts)
Oh.
Okay, um, um...
Oh, God, if this is a body.
(sighs) Thank God.
(door opens)
(screams)
Get away!
(groans) Fine.
Fine.
Take whatever you want.
Just please leave the ThunderCats.
I don't want your video games.
Those are the only things worthwhile.
Why were you parked
outside Tiffany's party?
I wanted to go.
I sat outside listening to Meat Loaf,
trying to build up the courage, but...
I know people think I'm scary,
but I'm not a killer.
- (gasps) Oh.
- What's going on?
Doug.
Only hall monitors are allowed outdoors
during school hours.
Uh, we were, um, we were just...
Video games much?
Uh, yeah.
I know it's nerdy,
but I want to make them someday.
You ever play Death Wish 3?
The graphics are amazing.
When you kill someone,
they explode into pink mist.
We should go inside.
It's not safe out here.
You guys are safe with me.
- I took karate for eight years.
- Where?
Tom's Dojo at the mall.
And the police cruise by here,
like, every two minutes.
I wouldn't trust Sheriff Lim
to solve anything.
He was convinced it was Eddie
even after I told him there was no way.
I know it wasn't Eddie,
but how do you know it wasn't Eddie?
He told me all about that night,
how he was making out with Tiffany
but then left as soon as she said
she doesn't do blow jobs.
Just think.
Maybe if she did do blow jobs,
she'd still be alive.
Yeah, let's-let's not
make that the lesson.
(lively chatter)
- Hey.
- Hey. You catch the killer yet?
No. Is the photo booth working?
No.
There's a super futuristic generator
in here, but it's busted.
There's no way this thing can generate
enough force to power the time machine.
That's the time machine? Just that?
Imagine this is a computer
and this is the power button.
Okay, so we need a new power button.
Yep, one that can generate
a shit ton of force,
enough to basically disrupt gravity.
Like the Quantum Drop?
(heavy metal music playing over speakers)
(laser sound effects playing)
And here we are back on Earth.
Thank you so much
for riding the Quantum Drop.
Please save your vomit
for outside the ride
and enjoy the rest of your day
at Billy's Boardwalk.
(riders groaning, murmuring)
Hey. Uh, we've been sent by the city.
We got to shut down the ride.
One of the, uh, exterior panels...
Quantum Drop goes down, Ned goes on break.
That's all you had to say.
(Ned sighs)
Oh. He really just left.
God, the '80s are wild.
Okay.
I'm good here. You go catch the killer.
- Okay. Good luck.
- Thanks.
So, as I told Pam, I'm psychic.
And I thought Heather was
gonna be killed tonight
at the Halloween Carnival
in the parking lot,
but since she's already dead,
he's probably gonna go after Marisa.
- Oh, my God.
- Or me.
If your visions are wrong,
then anything can happen.
Yeah, I mean, no one's safe,
so if anyone wants to leave, do it now.
I want to catch him.
Even if he does kill Marisa
and the rest of us live...
Oh, Jesus.
...I don't want to go my whole life
knowing that that psycho killed my friends
and he's still out there.
Me either.
Let's break this motherfucker, huh?
- I-I really don't want to be the bait.
- JAMIE: You're gonna be okay.
Now, the second you see him, press this.
It's a rape alarm. It's insanely loud.
And if you get scared at all...
- (alarm blaring)
- Oh. Okay.
All right. No. Uh...
- (alarm stops)
- (sighs) Now you know how it works.
But what if he slits her throat before
she has a chance to press the rape button?
- What the fuck?
- I don't know.
That's not his M.O. The killer always
stabs his victims 16 times.
Okay, that does not make me feel better.
You're gonna be fine.
Just-just walk to the Dollhouse of Horrors
as if you're planning
to meet someone there to blow them.
- Blow them.
- Yeah, you do it all the time.
Yeah.
- And we'll be right there waiting.
- Okay.
(inhales deeply)
You're just gonna go blow somebody.
That's all.
Casual beej in the Dollhouse of Horrors.
You got this.
("The Killing Moon"
by Echo & the Bunnymen playing)
Under blue moon, I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms...
Act natural.
Just in case the killer is following you
instead of Marisa.
- We don't want to... (gasps)
- Kara!
- Oh, my God.
- What are you doing here?
It's Halloween. Where is everyone?
I feel like you guys have been
avoiding me since the cabin.
Blake turned everyone against me.
- Uh, no.
- No.
- No, no, no, no. We've, um...
- JAMIE: Mm-mm.
- They're on the roller coaster.
- Mm-hmm.
And-and Jamie, she wasn't feeling well.
Yeah, stomach bug.
It's weird, everyone asked me
where I was when Heather was killed,
but no one started dying
until you got here.
The killing moon
Will come too soon
Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
Hey, hey.
You give yourself to him
Oh, my God.
I saw Marisa.
I just remembered I saw her
on the boardwalk Halloween night.
And the killer was following her.
- We need to get Jamie out of there.
- Yes, I'm-I'm very aware.
(machine powers on)
Get the metal conductor.
(machine powering up)
(laughing): Okay.
(distorted sinister voice laughing
over speakers)
(door slams)
- SINISTER VOICE: Going down?
- (bell dings)
- (screaming)
- (rumbling)
(sinister voice laughing over speakers)
(woman screaming over speakers)
MARISA (whispers): I hate this place.
(exhale echoes)

(singsongy): Randy?
Randy?
I'm here.
(exhale echoes)
- (screams)
- (sinister voice laughing over speakers)
I hate this place!
(floor creaking)
Ew.
(chains jingling softly)
Oh, I have those panties.
Oh. Oh, no.
(grunts)
(woman screaming over speakers)

Randy?
Are you in here?
I'm all alone in the kitchen.
And I'm ready to blow you.
(woman screaming over speakers)
(object clangs on floor)
JAMIE (whispers): Shit.
Rape alarm! Rape alarm!
(Blake grunting)
I got the knife! Oh, shit.
Shit.
(grunting)
- (Jamie shouting)
- (Marisa screams)
- MARISA: Randy!
- RANDY (muffled): Jamie, look out!
- (yells)
- (Marisa screams)
(Pam shouts)
- (Jamie yelling)
- (killer groans)
(panting)
(gasps)
(Marisa screaming)
(screams)
(panting)
I told you I wasn't the killer!
(panting)
- That thing is real?
- Yeah, my dad gave it to me.
There's a killer on the loose.
PAM: We did it.
We stopped him.
BLAKE: Doug?
Why would Doug want to kill us?
Dork Summers beat the shit of me?
He took karate.
- At Tom's Dojo.
- But we've never done anything to Doug.
JAMIE: Wait, what is that?
RANDY: Nerd jewelry.
(sighs) Is that a locket?
(gasps) Fat Trish!
Why does he have a picture of Fat Trish?
They were boyfriend and girlfriend.
Remember on the class trip
that we took to the Field Museum?
They got their braces stuck together
because they were making out
in the back of the bus.
JAMIE: But that's crazy.
He hunted you down and murdered you
because you made fun of his girlfriend?
Oh, my God.
He must have known about the sleepover.
What sleepover?
(sighs) The night she died, we...
There was a rumor
that Trish had sex with Coach Zane.
We wanted to know if it was true,
so Tiffany invited her over
and got her really drunk.
- TIFFANY: Have another.
- Oh, my God.
She denied it, but Tiffany kept asking,
and she started crying
and then locked herself in Tiffany's room.
- TRISH: Leave me alone!
- (door slams)
And she must have called Doug.
And then... and then she left.
You got her drunk and let her drive home?
We tried to stop her,
but she was too upset.
LAUREN: Jamie!
Oh, my God.
It was Doug? Oh, we need to go right now.
I got it working,
but your phone's almost dead.
How could you do that?
You killed someone.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
You pretended to be her friend,
bullied her,
got her wasted
and then let her drive home!
Pam wasn't there.
Tiff and I got in a fight over the summer.
We didn't talk for months.
I would never do something like that.
Do you just think
that I'm some sort of monster?
Jamie, we really need to go.
Then why would Doug promise
to kill you one day?
- He didn't.
- He was going to.
He was gonna leave a note.
This note.
Okay, well, it doesn't matter now, right?
He's dead.
(gasping)
- (all screaming)
- (alarm blaring)
Daddy gave me this, too!
(screams) Motherfucker!
He's from the future!
I fucked up his mask.
That's adult Doug!
You killed Doug.
There is no adult Doug anymore.
And how the hell did he even get here?
Amelia.
Oh, my God.
Amelia?
Amelia?
Amelia? Amelia, can you hear me?
(clicking empty)
Oh, my God! Fuck!
Run! Run! Run!
- Run!
- (others scream)
Are you sure the Quantum Drop works?
As long as KZFD keeps broadcasting live.
And for KZFD, this is Norm Dubasage
- wishing you a happy Hallow...
- JAMIE: Don't stop filming!
The killer's here! Keep rolling!
One moment, folks.
There appears to be
some sort of foot chase,
and a young woman just gave me a warn...
- (grunts)
- (people screaming)
- WOMAN: Oh, my God.
- (choking)
MAN: Don't stop!
Keep rolling! Keep rolling!
Holy shit,
he just got stabbed in the head!
I can't leave yet. I haven't stopped him.
My mom...
You have to go now or you never will.
I'll send you back earlier in the day.
That way, you can at least
save your mom in the future.
This control pod is the only place that's
not affected by the centrifugal force.
Once it's up to speed,
you have to stay in here.
What happens if you fall out?
You'd get thrown against the wall
with the same force as a rocket launch
and probably explode.
Good luck. Tell my daughter I said hi.
- Give my mom this.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Go.
Go! Get out of here!
Go! Get out!
Get out!
- It's gonna take him with you!
- Better than leaving him here!
Go!
(shouts)
Mom! No!
(shouts)
- (machine whirring)
- (electricity crackling)
- What are you doing here?
- I don't know.
You had this vision I was supposed to be
in the Quantum Drop for a big moment.
I think that moment was connected to you.
Me and you have been in here before.
(whirring continues faster)
Let's get this fucker!
(strained grunting)
(Jamie screams)
(whirring continues faster)
(shouts)
(Pam panting)
(footsteps thudding)
(screams)
(strained whimpering)
No.
(grunts, pants)
(footsteps continue)
No.
(grunting)
- (screams)
- No!
(screams)
You killed my mom!
Twice. It seems.
And your own dad.
That was just a bonus.
I'm still alive in 1987.
Now that Chris won't have
to deal with a piece-of-shit dad
who cares more about his legacy
than his own fucking son!
My mom never got
a note in her locker in 1987.
You wrote it after she died.
Why would you do this?
Continue the story.
It's hard to sustain interest
in three kills 35 years ago.
But now the Sweet 16 Killer's back,
and he's a bogeyman.
He could be anywhere at any time.
Can't be killed.
He's Michael fucking Myers! (laughs)
And I'm the expert.
Although, I had no idea
the original killer was Doug,
so thank you for that.
The more people care about
the Sweet 16 murders,
the more famous I become.
Maybe one day I'll get a Pulitzer.
No one's ever gonna know about you because
you are gonna die in my time machine!
Not if I'm in the center!
(machine pulsing, crackling)
(panting)
(both grunting)
- (Chris screaming)
- (Jamie yelling)
(groans)
(singsongy): I have both knives.
(Chris straining)
You shouldn't have time-traveled.
And you shouldn't have
messed with my family!
(nail gun firing rapidly)
(panting)
Enjoy the ride.
Huh.
Pink mist.
LAUREN (echoing): Time is like a river.
- PAM: You're out, bitch!
- JAMIE: I'm Jamie. From Canada.
PAM: Nobody wants to hear you talk
about how much you love your mom, okay?
BLAKE: Man, Canada,
you're a little stressed, huh?
JAMIE: I was trying to stop it.
PAM: And I like your jacket.
BLAKE:
That's exactly what a chick would say.
AMELIA: I'm gonna show her
just how brilliant she really is.
PAM: Stay safe, honey. I love you.
(loud booming)
(creaking)
(door creaking)
(panting)
Mom.
Mom?
Mom?
Mom? Mom?
Mom?
Mom!
PAM: Honey?
- Honey?
- Oh, Mom.
Oh, Mom, you're okay.
(sobs) I love you.
I love you, too.
What happened, sweetheart?
- Hey, whoa, what's going on?
- Dad!
Hey, what-what happened?
Baby, why-why is your face bloody?
- Um, I got in a bike accident.
- (door opens)
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- (Jamie squeals)
What are you guys doing here?
PAM:
What do you mean what are they doing here?
The whole crew comes
every year for Halloween.
- Right. Right.
- Yeah.
That's why you're, um,
dressed like Molly Ringwald.
What? No, I'm not
in my Halloween costume yet.
- (chuckles)
- No, no.
No, no, this year, your mom and I
are going as Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Huh?
- Yeah, that's right.
- (laughing)
Can I talk to you outside for a second?
Sorry.
I really wanted to be at the Quantum Drop
when you got there,
but I got the time wrong.
You can invent time travel,
but you can't remember daylight savings.
I'm glad to know I won't need this.
Oh, my God, you brought a gun?
I didn't know
who was coming out of that ride.
I waited 35 years
to see who won that fight.
There's a lot to catch you up on.
Yeah.
LAUREN: Everything that's different.
I-I had to guess at some things obviously,
but I think I got the big stuff.
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
Jason and Veronica are on their way.
What are you guys doing out here?
(stammers) Helping her
with some science homework.
We'll be in in a second.
Nice fake blood.
- Looks real.
- Thank you.
Who was that?
Yeah, so... remember how you were trying
to keep your parents apart in high school?
You didn't. They got together immediately,
and that is your 34-year-old brother.
(scoffs) Oh, my God,
why does that keep happening?
And his name is Jamie.
We're both named Jamie?
Colette, honey,
can you help your brother set the table?
- Yeah, I'll be right in.
- Okay.
Oh, and your grandmother called.
She sends her love and she can't wait
to see you at Thanksgiving.
Mm.
You better get to reading.
Yeah.
(laughs)
(sighs)
Fucking time travel.
("Little Bit o' Soul" playing)
Now, when you're feelin' low
And the fish won't bite
You need a little bit o' soul
To put you right
You gotta make like you wanna
Kneel and pray
Hey, ho, hey, ho!
And then a little bit o' soul
Will come your way
Oh!
Now, when your girl is gone
And you're broke in two
You need a little bit o' soul
To see you through
You gotta raise the roof
With your rock and roll
You'll get a lot more kicks
With a little bit o' soul
And if your party falls
'Cause there's nobody groovin'
You need a little bit o' soul
And it really starts movin', yeah
And when you're in a mess
And you feel like cryin'
Hey!
- Hey!
- Just remember this
Little song of mine
And as you go through life
Tryin' to reach your goal
Just remember what I said
'Bout a little bit o' soul
And if your party falls
'Cause there's nobody groovin'
You need a little bit o' soul
And it really starts movin', yeah
Hey!
A little bit o' soul
Little bit o' soul, yeah
Little bit o' soul
Little bit o' soul, yeah
Little bit o' soul
Little bit o' soul, yeah
Little bit o' soul
Little bit o' soul, yeah
Little bit o' soul
Little bit o' soul, yeah
Little bit o' soul
Little bit o' soul, yeah
(song ends)




(music ends)