Towed in a Hole (1932) Movie Script
1
Fresh fish!
Caught in the ocean this morning
Salmon, mackerel, swordfish and tuna
Ha-ha! Boy, oh, boy.
For the first time in our lives
we are a success.
A nice little fish business
and making money.
You know, Ollie, I've been thinking.
What about?
I... I know how we could make
a lot more money.
How?
Well, if we caught our own fish,
we wouldn't have to pay for it.
Then whoever we sold it to,
it'll be clear profit.
Tell me that again.
Well, if you caught a fish
and whoever you sold it to,
they wouldn't have to pay for it,
then the profits
would go to the fish...
If, uh... If you...
- If you caught...
- I know exactly what you mean.
Your idea is to eliminate
the middle man.
That's a pretty smart thought.
Here we are making pennies
when we should be making dollars.
Certainly. All we need
is a couple of fish poles.
A couple of fish poles?
With a million dollar idea like that,
what we are going to do
is get ourselves a boat.
Fresh fish!
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Boo-boop, bi-doop
Here's your receipt, Mr Hardy.
She's yours.
- Oh, all right.
- And you got a bargain.
Outside of those few little leaks
I told you about,
the little fixing up,
you'll find you've got
the finest little crap
that ever sailed the seven seas.
So far, so good.
Now, let's see.
I think the first thing we better do
is find the leaks.
- How do we do that?
- Well, that's simple.
Fill the boat with water.
Get that hose.
Now hand it to me
through the porthole.
What are you trying to do?
I put that in there...
Put that hose back in that hole!
Put...
Come up here and clean off this deck.
I'll attend to the important things.
Hey, Ollie.
- What?
- The boat's full of water.
All right. You go ahead
and scrub the deck.
I'll look for the leaks
when I finish this painting.
What did you put that stuff
on your face for?
Come here.
Come here.
Hand me that bucket.
Fill it.
Fill it.
Now, wait a minute.
- Isn't this silly?
- What?
Here we are, two grown-up men,
acting like a couple of children.
Why, we ought to be
ashamed of ourselves,
throwing water at one another.
- Well, you started it.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- Well, I didn't.
- You certainly did.
- Well, I didn't.
You certainly did.
Well, I know that I didn't.
- You did, too!
- Well, if that's the way...
Can't we stop this quarrelling?
That's why we never get any place.
Let's put our brains together
so that we can forge ahead.
Remember, united we stand,
divided we fall.
Come in.
What do you mean, come in?
Ollie.
Oh, Ollie.
I told you that
I didn't wanna talk to you.
I thought I told you
not to come out of there.
Well, I've got a good idea.
I don't want to hear it.
Now you get back in there
and don't come out again
until I call you.
Woah!
Get out.
Go on. Get out.
Why don't you put the sail up?
Fresh fish!
Caught in the ocean this morning
Salmon, mackerel, swordfish and tuna
Ha-ha! Boy, oh, boy.
For the first time in our lives
we are a success.
A nice little fish business
and making money.
You know, Ollie, I've been thinking.
What about?
I... I know how we could make
a lot more money.
How?
Well, if we caught our own fish,
we wouldn't have to pay for it.
Then whoever we sold it to,
it'll be clear profit.
Tell me that again.
Well, if you caught a fish
and whoever you sold it to,
they wouldn't have to pay for it,
then the profits
would go to the fish...
If, uh... If you...
- If you caught...
- I know exactly what you mean.
Your idea is to eliminate
the middle man.
That's a pretty smart thought.
Here we are making pennies
when we should be making dollars.
Certainly. All we need
is a couple of fish poles.
A couple of fish poles?
With a million dollar idea like that,
what we are going to do
is get ourselves a boat.
Fresh fish!
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Boo-boop, bi-doop
Here's your receipt, Mr Hardy.
She's yours.
- Oh, all right.
- And you got a bargain.
Outside of those few little leaks
I told you about,
the little fixing up,
you'll find you've got
the finest little crap
that ever sailed the seven seas.
So far, so good.
Now, let's see.
I think the first thing we better do
is find the leaks.
- How do we do that?
- Well, that's simple.
Fill the boat with water.
Get that hose.
Now hand it to me
through the porthole.
What are you trying to do?
I put that in there...
Put that hose back in that hole!
Put...
Come up here and clean off this deck.
I'll attend to the important things.
Hey, Ollie.
- What?
- The boat's full of water.
All right. You go ahead
and scrub the deck.
I'll look for the leaks
when I finish this painting.
What did you put that stuff
on your face for?
Come here.
Come here.
Hand me that bucket.
Fill it.
Fill it.
Now, wait a minute.
- Isn't this silly?
- What?
Here we are, two grown-up men,
acting like a couple of children.
Why, we ought to be
ashamed of ourselves,
throwing water at one another.
- Well, you started it.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- Well, I didn't.
- You certainly did.
- Well, I didn't.
You certainly did.
Well, I know that I didn't.
- You did, too!
- Well, if that's the way...
Can't we stop this quarrelling?
That's why we never get any place.
Let's put our brains together
so that we can forge ahead.
Remember, united we stand,
divided we fall.
Come in.
What do you mean, come in?
Ollie.
Oh, Ollie.
I told you that
I didn't wanna talk to you.
I thought I told you
not to come out of there.
Well, I've got a good idea.
I don't want to hear it.
Now you get back in there
and don't come out again
until I call you.
Woah!
Get out.
Go on. Get out.
Why don't you put the sail up?