Track 29 (1988) Movie Script
1
Mother, you had me
But I never had you
I wanted you
You didn't want me
So I
I just got to tell you
Goodbye
Goodbye
Here among the zillion, trillion stars,
even time itself
can be bent and twisted
and, unbelievable as it may seem,
two or more things can inhabit
the same area at the same time
co-existing in parallel dimensions.
Take this desirable
blue-green residence.
A modest little planet, but the
occupants are an intelligent bunch.
They inhabit its surface,
always seeking, always striving
to solve the mysteries of the cosmos.
But, at this very moment,
one of those mysteries
is about to become a menacing reality.
Goodbye
Mama don't go
Daddy come home
Mama don't go
Daddy come home
Mama don't go
Daddy come home
Mummy!
He's gone all to pieces and lost his head.
Don't panic, Penfold!
I'm just over here at Fourth Dimension.
- Eh?
- Um... well, my head is.
Look here, you fiend!
I don't know how...
Henry, would you please hurry up!
Okay. Down in a minute.
Same every morning!
Stupid old trains!
Yes, he's removed the door
and the demon to Alpha Centauri.
Hello?
Hello?
Mummy!
Oh, please.
Oh please, stop.
Please. Please, stop!
Please!
You stinking fat bastard!
I'll catch up, don't worry!
Pig!
- Henry, for goodness' sakes!
- Coming!
And this is a model engine.
Let's see what's inside, shall we?
You see, there are
four tubes called cylinders,
and inside each cylinder is a kind of
plunger called a piston. You see?
Have you got that, Chumley?
The engine has four cylinders,
and inside each cylinder is
a plunger called a piston.
Okay, Mr Whoopee, go ahead.
Oh! Well, a little
gas and air come into the cylinder.
Now, gas is very, very explosive.
So when a spark plug in the top
of the cylinder makes a spark...
Interesting?
Not to you.
Try me.
Come on, Linda. You don't want
to know about my hobby.
I can't care if you don't
talk to me about it. Can't I?
Hmm?
You baiting me?
Now, why would I do a thing like that?
Chooga-chooga-chuff-chuff...
Hey ho.
Hey ho.
Linda, what's wrong here?
- You'll be late at the clinic.
- Again.
Bye-bye, sugar. See you at six.
- Have a nice day, Henry.
- Bye-bye, sugar. See you at six.
Surprise, surprise.
Come soon.
Oh, come today.
I have to say it.
I don't normally approve of the
disfigurement involved in tattoos.
- What?
- But I wholly approve of yours.
It's admirable!
Just what the hell
are you trying to say?
The simple word, "Mom".
The way you've got the word "Mom"
across the heart like that.
Listen, fella, you just don't
jump up a man's truck
and start talking about his tattoo.
That's some bad judgement.
I presume you love,
or loved, your mother?
What?!
I take it you had feelings
of the warmest possible affection
for your mother?
Yeah. I did.
Everybody should have a mother.
But I never knew mine.
They took me away when I
was only two or three days old.
Where to?
The funny farm?
Yes.
Two days old.
Think of it.
I was born in this country, you know.
I should have had my childhood here.
But they took me away.
"...I don't give a frog shit."
To the Minister! Look, I said,
I've got to live in this town.
At least you don't have to
tidy up his toys.
Rather have that.
You ever wish you were someplace else?
Okay, buddy.
This is where you're getting out.
What?
I'm putting you down here.
Erm... but... what?
Listen, fella. You ain't done nothing but
run your damn mouth for the last hour
and I ain't understood
but about half of what you said.
I didn't want you to feel lonely.
Look here, fella, this is
a little old biddy town.
There ain't nothing
happening here at all.
So they ought to be
damned glad to get you.
Now get your ass out.
You think I talk too much.
Is that it?
Nooo!
But that don't matter none, good buddy.
What?
I'm just practising.
I don't want to stand out
like a sore thumb, do I?
Who's that mother?
I'm that mother!
Go on, get out!
Thanks.
Well, I guess maybe they're
thinking of doing it more like last year.
Always the same.
They just go on and on and on...
Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh.
- Good morning, Dr Henry.
- Good morning.
Oh, I didn't notice you, Bernard.
Good morning!
Why don't you try
a little harder, Henry?
Pretty soon you'll be able to say
"good afternoon" when you arrive.
You wouldn't happen to have
such a thing as egg and chips,
by any chance, would you?
- What?
- I mean, erm...
Shit, what do I mean?
Ah, fried egg and French fries.
Sure. How do you want your egg?
- I beg your pardon?
- Easy over, or what?
- Do I have an alternative?
- Do you have what?
That will be fine. Splendid.
Ta very much.
What's "easy over"?
Are you English?
Um...
is it that obvious?
I mean, I've scarcely
opened my mouth.
You don't mind, do you?
- No.
- Do you?
No. Go ahead.
As long as you don't think I'm being
impertinent or anything gross like that,
but there's something about your
face that sort of reassures me.
- I'm not intrusive, am I?
- No.
- Am I?
- No, of course not.
How do you do, Madam?
My name is Martin.
And spot on, quite right,
jolly shrewd.
I'm from England.
I've come all the way across
the pond in search of my mama.
Oh, hi. I'm Linda.
Well, welcome to America.
Hey.
- This is my friend Arlanda.
- Hi.
Arlanda.
Arlanda? Isn't that
the name of an airport?
Hello, Arlanda. Come in, please!
Are you receiving me, Arlanda?
I don't know. Is it?
Yes.
It is.
Stockholm.
In Sweden, you know.
I'm not sure I like having
the same name as an airport.
It's better than a railway station.
What is it? What's the matter?
No, no, nothing.
There's not something
on my face, is there?
I haven't got a bogey
on my nose, have I?
No.
I remind you of someone, don't I?
- No...
- Don't I? Yes. Yes, I do.
Well, it was real nice
meeting with you.
I hope you really have
a nice vacation.
- Oh, are you going?
- I'm going.
- But I will see you again, won't I?
- We've got to go.
I will see you.
I will.
- Yeah, we'd better go now, sir.
- I doubt it.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Well, I don't. I certainly don't.
Jesus Christ...
Enjoy.
Shut up!
Piggy.
Little piggy.
No...
Daddy?
Daddykins?
Which ickle-lickle naughty ickle girl
wants to be a bad lickle girl?
No, Linda.
Daddy...
Ickle Linda can't go bye-byes.
Not now, Linda.
I've hardly had a wink of sleep.
Ooh, but I'm a naughty ickle girl.
Daddy...
- Daddykins!
- Oh, for goodness sakes! What the hell!
Oh, for Christ's sake, Henry,
you're so goddamn boring!
What's the matter, Linda?
Linda, I'm tired.
Chooga-chooga-chuff-chuff!
Linda, would you put the light out?
You know I can't sleep with the light on.
Linda...
He's outside, you know.
He's come back.
He's outside, and he's waiting.
Oh no he isn't!
Linda?
Linda?
Linda?
Linda?
Why are you looking at me like that?
Like what?
It's not exactly
a friendly look, now, is it?
Have I, er...
upset you in some way?
You sure have.
Daddys'll smackoo.
Daddykins will smack little Linda...
- No! Not that!
- I, uh, I thought that...
My God, Henry. You're so obtuse!
Yes. I guess I am.
I'm not one of your
geriatric patients, you know.
No...
You're so used to treating
those old has-beens,
or... or playing with your trains.
I do not play with my trains.
Well, what do you do
with them, then?
Every morning, every evening,
it's driving me crazy!
"Unreasonable" is a better word.
You're being unreasonable.
You didn't even use that...
that pretty little snowplough
I bought you for your birthday.
It's a Canadian Pacific snowplough.
I don't have a Canadian Pacific loco.
There.
You see? You see?
We know nothing whatsoever
about each other. Nothing!
We'll talk about this later.
Henry.
Henry,
I need that child. I want that baby!
Linda...
I'm suffocating.
I'll just die without that baby.
It is not, not,
I repeat, not possible.
We've got this big house.
You're a doctor.
We're good people.
We could give it... him...
everything a child
could possibly want.
No, Linda.
Love, security, everything.
It is not possible.
I can't go on like this any more.
It's just so empty.
There's no shape. No purpose.
You know very well no agency,
no court anywhere
is going to allow us to adopt
a child, and you also know why.
You cruel bastard!
If you say so.
You're selfish, Henry!
Totally and completely selfish!
Now stop getting yourself worked up.
We've had all this out
at least a hundred times.
Why get overwrought?
Bye-bye, sugar.
See you at six.
- I'll kill myself!
- Yeah, yeah, sure...
I'll be at the bottom of the pool!
I mean it!
My baby!
Bastard!
What did you say?
What?
Did I hear the word "bastard"
from your fair lips?
It's not a word that I care to hear,
myself. Gets too personal.
But, as the Bard said,
"God, stand up for bastards!"
- What the hell are you...
- Hello.
Hello?
What do you mean, hello?
I suppose I ought to
have brought a big bunch of flowers.
What do you want?
How did you...
A bouquet of English roses,
red and thorny.
No, a bunch of forget-me-nots!
How did you get in here?
What are you doing?
You almost overdid it, didn't you?
No air left in your lungs.
You might even be dead. Hmm?
- What are you...
- You are Mrs Linda Alice Henry, are you not?
- I'll call the police!
- Who used to be Linda Alice Carter.
- Correct?
- How did you...
Look, you haven't told me
who you are, or what you want,
or what you were doing staring
up at this house last night.
You're so much younger,
and so much more beautiful
than I ever imagined.
Who are you?
I've come a long, long way
to find you,
Linda Alice Carter.
Do I know you from...
We were very, very close
once upon a time.
As close as close can be.
Do you not remember the tug of my lips
on your tender young breast?
I'll do this for you, Nurse Stein,
if you'll do the same for me!
Okay, Mr Ennis. Come on, darlin'.
Up on the table.
You got a nice piece there, don't you?
- Nurse Stein, please.
- Jealous, Doc?
- Hey! Never mind that needle!
- I forgot to ask you to call my wife.
You want me to call your wife?
Oho! That's the way it is, huh?
Tell her I'll, well...
I'll be home late.
Very late.
I didn't have an opportunity to, um...
I forgot our little
gathering this evening.
You forgot the Trainorama?
Well, one should sometimes be
economical with the truth.
I'll do this for you, Nurse Stein,
if you do the same for me.
I'll do better than that, Henry.
- Hey!
- Mr Ennis?
Is there something you
like about my butt?
- What?
- You want to keep on looking at it?
You want I should keep it stuck
up here in the air all day long?
Now, now, now, now, now,
Mr Ennis.
Hold still, please.
Holy shit!
That hurt!
There. That should do nicely.
Our plucky heroes
left on their perilous quest.
- Harry felt a little confused.
- Yeah, must be the tropic zone.
Er... no, it's my watch.
Anyway, although
they scoured the area,
not a sign of Zero did they find.
No sense in
going any further. Let's...
Aren't you the nice lady, then?
Aren't you at all the kind of woman
I always thought you were.
Be so kind as to cast your mind back to
the summer of rock and free love.
- What?
- The end of flower power.
Scruffy sods giving each other
daffodils and the clap.
Peace, and all that shit.
Remember?
What were you doing then?
I was at school.
Bet you were good at biology.
What?
The reproductive system.
It can't be.
It can't be.
I'm very tired, you know.
I'm very, very tired.
I mean, I've spent all my life
looking for you.
As well as all my money.
For God's sake please, who are you?
I'm your little baby boy, Mummy dear.
My baby?
My little pink baby?
Mother...
It's blown the whole building away.
But at least there's my Junior,
my little boy.
I... I don't know whether
to believe you or not.
No?
I can't...
- I can't take it all in.
- You abandoned me!
Didn't you?
- I...
- Well?
I had no choice.
I had no choice.
No choice. No choice.
I didn't!
No choice, no rights,
no nothing!
I was taken over
and humiliated and bullied!
Made to feel
the dirtiest, wickedest...
I was a schoolgirl.
Pregnant schoolgirl.
Somebody who didn't know what to do,
or where to go, or who to turn to...
or how to escape, or nothing!
A very scared little girl,
with an overbearing father
and a dimwit mama...
Come on, hey.
Come on...
There hasn't been a day since I haven't
thought about what happened,
or what should have happened.
I spy!
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with... B!
What are you do...
Don't be ridiculous!
- Please play with me, Mummy!
- No!
Something beginning with B.
Now, think!
What's the matter?
- What are you pulling a face for?
- Let go of my wrist!
I'm only playing.
How do I know you are
who you say you are?
You could have followed me
from that diner, or...
could have found out about me.
Two days after I was born,
which was May 17th, my birthday,
I was given to a middle-aged
couple called Brennan.
You know.
She was a cleaning
woman in your mum's house.
But within a year...
back to England.
With me.
Little me.
Then it's true.
My child! Where's my child?
- There's no reason to fear!
- It's really true!
Underdog is here!
I've got a new cassette
I want to play.
It's the most fantastic...
You sure this isn't going to give you
cardiac arrest one of these mornings?
Hurry up. Hurry up!
You want me to lock the door,
don't you? Be patient, Doctor.
She wanted me to be
daddy again last night.
It just disgusts me.
It does not come easy to me.
It's not what I like at all.
Wait, wait, wait!
There's a terrific bit coming up.
Now!
- I spy with my little...
- No!
Now you cut it out. I mean it!
Hey!
What... where'd you go?
Martin?
Martin?
I'll be all right...
be all right.
Be. All. Right.
- Guess who?
- God, you scared me!
Why don't you like games, Mummy?
- Martin loves games.
- Well, I don't!
What's the matter with you, anyway?
Are you out of your mind?
Oh, don't say that.
Don't ever say that.
I've been ill. That's all.
Sort of.
Ill?
How do you mean, ill?
- Where are we going?
- What?
In this nice car.
Where are you taking me?
I hope it's somewhere exciting.
Well, you'll just have to
wait and see, won't you?
I'm not a bit like
you thought I am, am I?
Eh?
It's the shock just
beginning to hit me, I...
- I never thought...
- Something beginning with B.
- What?
- Do you give up?
Well, do you give up?
- What are you talking about?
- Something beginning with B.
You can't guess it,
so... you give up.
Right?
Oh, this is no fun.
This is no fun at all.
What sort of mummy are you, anyway?
And where are we going?
- To the clinic.
- What?
- I must see my husband. I have to.
- No!
- Stop it!
- No!
We are not going to any clinic.
Well, my husband is there.
I have to talk to him.
No clinic! No doctors!
Nothing medical whatsoever!
No...
maybe not.
Definitely not!
What is it?
Are you going to
make up for lost time?
How... how do you mean?
All the years.
All those years.
The lost years.
Martin, how can I?
- I'm sick to death of being grown up.
- What?
You owe me.
Oh, certainly you owe me.
Definitely you do.
- Or am I just the dirty little secret?
- No. Don't say that.
You mustn't say that. You've
never been that, not to me.
You can kiss me, if you want.
You can kiss me.
I mustn't get drunk.
Henry says I have to stop drinking.
You never cuddled me, did you?
And you never played peep-bo.
And you never kissed it better.
Kissed what better?
- My knee.
- Oh. Did you...
You never brought me
a light in the dark,
and you never waited
outside the school gate,
and you never let me follow
your finger along the line of...
nice, big words.
Oh please, what words?
"Once upon a time."
All that stuff.
You know, kids' stuff.
- I used to tell you stories in my head.
- Yes, ma'am?
I wasn't talking to you.
- No?
- No.
Did you really?
Did you really and truly?
Yeah.
Snow White, Rumpelstiltskin.
That sort of stuff. Yes.
Would you tell me one now?
Will you tell me one for real?
Will you? Will you?
"Once upon a time..."
Come on. Come on.
"Once upon a time..."
Scary. Excuse me.
She's sitting there talking
to herself with tears in her eyes.
Long, long ago,
there was a little girl
who was as pretty as she was good,
and she was so very, very excited,
'cause her mama told her the fair
was coming to the town,
with wooden horses,
going up and down...
up...
And the bumper cars...
the bumper cars...
There was this young man,
he was helping with the bumper cars.
Yeah.
And...
Come on.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
No. I can't.
Come on! Oh, come on!
I don't know how to.
I've never done this before.
Please don't. No. Don't.
I've never done this before.
Please...
Come on! Come on baby!
Come on! Come on!
Yes... yes... yes!
Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
What am I gonna do now?
Who shall I tell?
What shall I say?
Oh, you wicked bastard!
My baby...
Would you like a drink, or...?
A drink?
Do you think I should?
Well, no, maybe, um...
yes, wash your hands.
Wash my hands?
Do I have to wash my hands?
Not... not if you don't want to, I...
- I just thought that...
- Are you going to make me?
- Look, why are you behaving like this?
- I don't want to wash!
I don't want to! And I won't!
I won't! I won't!
Now, Martin, stop this
this minute, do you hear me?
I mean it!
- Am I a naughty boy?
- Yes, Martin, you are!
Come here!
Are you going to make
Martin go bye-byes?
Are you going to put me to bed?
Are you?
Mummy.
Mummy.
Do forgive me, Bernard.
I know you said to come at once,
but old Mrs Hanwell was being
more than usually difficult.
And, well, here I am.
- Mrs Hanwell?
- Yes.
- Varicose veins, isn't it?
- Yes. Varicose veins.
No, amend that. Varicose brain.
Well, do sit down. Please.
Yes. Thank you.
- Er... is it anything in particular?
- No, in general.
Nothing serious, I trust?
- Doctor Henry...
- Mmm.
- What's the matter?
- Doctor? Rather formal, Bernard.
At eleven-fifteen this morning,
you gave Mr Ennis an injection.
- Yes.
- Could you tell me what it was?
Ooh, er...
Penicillin, yes.
I thought he had...
- You know what this is?
- Yes, of course.
Then read it.
I should have checked, of course.
But I...
But?
Well, I know, of course I'm sorry...
Mr Ennis quite rightly says your mind
is not entirely on your work.
- Well...
- How's your wife nowadays, Henry?
She's, er...
Perhaps your domestic situation
is affecting your professional life?
I don't think so.
I don't think you have any right
to say these things, Bernard.
No?
Everybody makes the occasional error.
Oh.
By the way, I'm going to
have to let Nurse Stein go.
You understand my meaning?
Ah... I, er...
you're referring to...
my therapy..., I...
Therapy?
Your therapy?
Is that what you call it?
Er... s-s-sciatica.
The sciatic nerve.
- Extremely...
- Painful, yes.
He never does anything interesting.
Poor Henry.
Very, very nice, but...
boring.
What you marry him for, then?
Mummy?
I needed to. That's all.
Hey!
- What are you doing?
- Playing.
I'm playing.
I like playing!
Yes...
I've decided to have
my American childhood.
What?
I am entitled to
an American childhood.
...trying to get the
crowd wound up here a little bit.
They're having a great time.
Look at the smiles on their faces.
Ball of energy today.
Maybe next year,
if we're here for the parade still...
Spoiled!
Choo-choo!
Pampered!
Over-indulged.
The whole package,
as you people say.
I've been utterly fed up
with being a grown-up
for a long time now.
What do you mean?
There's no fun in it.
There's no magic.
There's not even any marbles,
or kites,
or bedtime stories.
There's nothing.
But that's how it...
What?
Just...
yakety-yak!
Yakety-yak!
About bombs,
and interest rates, and...
stuff like that,
from old geezers with
prostrate trouble...
fucking up the world.
Being a kid again is as good
an occupation as any.
It's better.
In fact, it's a pretty good career!
Like Princess Diana.
That what you mean?
Got to work at it.
You can't expect it to be easy.
I'm going to try really hard.
Who wants to dig prostate glands
out all day, anyway?
On my terms. In my way.
You've compromised my dignity.
- Looking forward to the speech. I really am.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Hell, I've been looking forward
to this evening for so long.
I mean, the honour of the
keynote address and everything.
- But now...
- I didn't call her.
What? What do you mean?
Why? Why not?
- It's time we stopped pretending.
- Look, I'm all strung up.
I've lost my job.
I'm worried about this speech.
Bull!
I'm not backing out, but
this has got to be done my way.
- Bull!
- Bull?
This is it. You either leave
that neurotic drunk or...
Or what?
Or I'll never lay another
finger on you again.
Mummy!
Mummy!
Mummy!
And now, without further ado,
let me introduce our national leader,
Doctor Henry Henry!
Thank you, thank you!
When the ignorant and
the ill-informed say to me,
and they sometimes do say to me,
if they can find the time
to empty their heads from the
soap and the football on TV,
when they say,
"Fancy! A grown man,
"a doctor, playing with toy trains."
- Do you know what I feel?
- What do you feel?
- Shall I tell you what I feel?
- Tell us!
I feel damned sorry for them!
Yes,
I'm proud of my model railroad!
Yes!
I'm proud of the mental discipline.
The intellectual hygiene
of perfectly scaled miniaturisation.
For there, in the layout,
is the record writ small
of what built this great nation!
Shining tracks
from shining shore to shining shore.
Whoo!
Okay!
And I say to you, I say...
as I close my eyes at night,
the day's work done,
the troubles all at bay,
I see a picture of my little train
coming down the track,
a picture of long ago,
when we knew who we were!
What we were!
And where we were going!
Thank you, thank you.
Pardon me...
Pardon me, boy,
Is that the Chattanooga Choo-Choo?
Yes! Yes! Track 29!
- All aboard!
- All aboard!
All aboard!
All aboard!
All aboard!
Hello!
All aboard!
All aboard!
Fantastic!
Whoo-whoo!
Fantastic!
Yes! Yes!
The Oxnard Shores to Lompoc train
labours a little on the incline!
Good and high!
The signal bell tolls!
Clang-clang! Clang-clang!
Clang-clang! Clang-clang!
The whistle a-blowing!
Whoo! Whoo!
That's it! That's it.
Yeah, yeah! I'll catch
you on the way back.
Out of the darkness she comes...
...into the light!
God bless the model
railroaders of America!
Bastions of innocence!
Of decency!
Of healthy family life!
Mummy...
- You can't catch me!
- Yes, I can!
I won! I won!
Yes, you did!
I'm fast, I am.
Mmm, aren't you a clever one?
Am I a good boy?
Am I?
Am I?
I don't know.
Won't play.
Oh, please!
Well...
I feel like I've turned
some sort of corner.
You know that guy who was
talking to me after my speech?
Truman.
He runs a modelling factory.
Makes everything from
locos to little animals.
Including hogs?
The point is, he's offered me a job.
If I can p-p-put up...
Er... he's undercapitalised.
- Nasty complaint.
- Yes.
Well...
of course,
I'd have to relocate.
And you, too.
What do you mean?
Well...
up there, on that platform,
all those upturned faces loving me.
They did. They truly did.
Made me realise a few things.
Personal things.
- Like what?
- Like knowing who I am.
What I want, and who I want.
Especially who.
- Or is it whom?
- Who?
It's not whom?
I've never known about that one.
Grammar's always been
a problem for me,
and yet you can't say that
I'm not well educated...
Henry!
What's the matter now?
- Who, Henry? Who?!
- If you say so.
Oh! Oh!
Well, you, of course.
You, my dear.
Who else?
You're my...
inspiration.
My little choo-choo.
My cuddly caboose.
Yes, yes.
M is for the mercy she possesses
O means that I owe her all I own
T is for her tender sweet caresses
H is for her hand that made our home
E means everything she's done to save me
R means right and right she'll always be
Put them all together, they spell "Mother"
A word that means the world
To...
Me
Oh, Martin.
That's so beautiful.
And so very, very true.
More?
You want some more, Mummy?
Shall lickle Martin sing some more?
Oh. Oh, yes, my darling.
Sing for your poor mommy.
When I was but a baby
Long before I learned to walk
While lying in my cradle
I would try my best to talk
It wasn't long before I spoke
And all the neighbours heard
My folks were very proud of me
For Mother was the word
Although I'll never lay a claim to fame
I'm satisfied that I can spell this name
M is for the million things she gave me
O means only that she's growing old
T is for the tears she shed to save me
H is for her heart of purest gold
E is for her eyes with love-light shining.
R means right and regular she'll be
Put them all together they spell
"Mother"
A word that means the world
To...
Me
You liked that, didn't you?
Yeah.
You did.
Come on.
I'm going now.
I'm going to smash up the trains.
Bye-bye, Mummy.
Good boy.
Smash 'em up.
Oh, I love you.
We should
have gone to the left of this island.
About a mile back.
Arlanda?
Oh, Arlanda, thank God!
Arlanda, help me.
- Arlanda, please come over.
- What?
- Please. You have to. Come now.
- Now?
Yes. Okay!
Are we gonna be completely marooned?
I mean, no visitors at all?
You didn't say anything to Betty?
I didn't say
anything to a soul, honest.
Well, have a nice voyage to nowhere.
I'll see you in a day or two.
Don't get lost on the way home.
Linda?
Linda?
Linda, are you there?
What is it, Linda?
Keep your voice down.
- Come on. Quickly, this way!
- What... what's happened?
Shhh! Quietly.
...be able to
stand all this shattering peace and quiet?
- Oh my God!
- Don't you worry about Nancy.
I don't know what to do, I...
- I think I'm going out of my mind!
- Well, whatever's happened, Linda?
Where's Henry?
I don't know! He...
He should have been home hours ago!
I shouldn't get so excited, I expect
he's been delayed at the clinic.
Have you called him?
Look. Come on, now.
Come on, sit down.
Come on.
Just sit down, now.
Sit down, and
we'll just talk about it.
- I don't want him to hear us.
- Who?
Oh, I'm scared. I am so scared.
What are you talking about?
I... I think he might have...
I think he might have broken
poor Henry's trains.
- I don't think he likes Henry.
- Who? Who has? Who doesn't?
Oh... and Henry...
Henry will be heartbroken
and then he'll blame me.
He'll say I did it!
- Linda...
- He came to the door, I...
I mean, to the pool.
And suddenly...
he was just standing there.
- Who was?
- I had to let him in.
- I had to. Had to. Had to.
- Linda.
That young man. Yesterday.
At the hamburger place.
- That Englishman.
- What?
Wait a minute. What have
you been up to, Linda?
Oh, now, come on.
You ain't that scared.
I had to. I had to.
Had to. Had to.
Linda?
When you've kept
something down inside you
for so long, so very long
it isn't easy to bring it
all out in the open.
I... I don't really know
how to tell you.
Even you, my best friend.
Tell me what, Linda?
On my fifteenth birthday...
Go on. Go on.
Well, we went to the travelling fair.
My friends, my school friends,
in the field outside the town.
There was this guy
on the bumper cars...
I mean, he ran them, I suppose.
Red cars,
green cars, blue ones...
Don't you just love the way the sparks
fall down from the top of those poles?
- With a crack, and a hiss, a phuzzzzt!
- What?
Ah, phuzzzzt!
Electric!
That's just the way he was.
Electric!
Bumper car man.
The others, they got bored
and drifted away.
He wasn't interested in them, anyway.
I was the prettiest.
I always was the purty one.
Yes, I was!
But, Lindy, why are you
telling me all this?
I kind of hung around.
Letting him come on to me.
Wait a minute, now.
- All the time.
- You proposition me.
- The distance, and...
- You, instead of Nancy.
the fairground music was...
was churning...
Now, your husband...
Churning about.
It was as if it was inside my stomach.
- God. It made my legs go weak!
- But he ain't never gonna forget it!
This sounds like True Confessions,
with a soundtrack.
I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry.
- When the red red robin comes...
- What?
The music.
In the distance.
Oh, that music!
Comes bob-bob-bobbin' along
Come on!
No. I kept saying no!
No! Don't! Don't!
"Come on, baby!
"Come on! Come on!"
Ah! Ah!
Oh yeah!
The music in the distance.
When the red red
robin comes bob-
bob-bobbin'...
Oh, I'll say he did!
I'll say!
Come bob-bob-bobbing...
Well, that's a long way back, honey.
There'll be no more sobbing
when he starts throbbing...
Oh! Oh, I...
Yes!
Lindy. Lindy!
What has any of this have to
do with anything, Lindy?
Linda?
Linda?
Listen!
- What... what?
- Shh!
- Why are we listening?
- There were footsteps.
- Are you sure?
- On the stairs!
- Did you hear it?
- No. I don't think so. It wasn't...
The back door!
For Christ's sakes, Linda,
cut it out, you're scaring me!
Jesus...
He's gone.
He's gone away.
I knew he wouldn't stay.
Who's gone?
They always take him away from me.
Who's gone?
Go and look, Arlanda.
Go look.
Please. Please do this for me.
Listen, Linda, I don't know what
the hell's wrong with you,
but what the fuck are you
talking about?
Please, please, please, Arlanda.
Go and see if Henry's trains, I...
I think I might have done
something to them.
- You?
- Yes. Me. I...
I think I might have smashed up
his fucking trains.
I tell you, this is giving
me the creeps.
I mean, I don't know
what you're playing at.
But, if it makes you happy...
Hello, Arlanda.
Did I scare you?
Oh, Henry. Thank God you're here!
What's the matter?
It's Linda...
Linda.
- Oh, my God.
- Linda... look at me.
Look at me.
- Poor ickle Henry.
- Stop it!
Please, Linda, stop it at once.
Henry, what's wrong?
What's happening to her?
She's crazy. That's all.
Totally loco.
Henry!
You have no idea.
- You just don't know.
- But, Henry...
Do you think you could
make her a hot drink?
- Chocolate or something.
- Why, yes, of course. Anything.
Thank you.
Poor thing.
Hot drink, yes...
Poor ickle Henry Henry.
You bitch. You crazy boring idiot! Stop it!
Do you hear me, stop it at once!
Shut up! Shut up!
Choo-choo.
- What?
- Choo!
What do you mean?
Are you referring to my trains?
Chooga-chooga-chuff-chuff!
Henry! Get off!
I know what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing!
They wouldn't even
let me stay in school.
After all, I am a doctor.
They took him away from me.
They... they pulled him out of me.
And then they...
they pulled him out of my arms.
He didn't even cry or anything.
He was only just born, you see.
Yes, he did, he did cry.
I heard him. Just once.
They said God would punish me.
My Daddy said, "Punish! Punish!"
You haven't done anything
to my trains, have you?
- For Christ's sakes!
- You're probably in on this with her.
I know what you women are like.
If there's one thing
I've learnt in this world
it's that women and trains don't mix.
Listen, buster. You're the crazy one,
going on about your toys like this!
- Toys?! Toys?
- I couldn't buy him any toys.
Why shouldn't he
play with yours, Henry?
If you've...
I'm going to go see if you...
Oh, Linda.
Linda, I just don't know what to do.
I don't know how to help you.
- Help me?
- Well, if I could.
- You want to help me?
- Well, of course I do.
The only way to help me now,
Arlanda, is to remember.
Remember everything you've
seen and heard here tonight.
Lock it in your head.
Write it down.
Well... what... why?
- Linda, I...
- Arlanda, please.
Before Henry comes back down.
- Yes, but...
- Um, really, I know what to do now. Bye.
Linda! Linda!
Come here,
I want to talk to you.
No more clinics. No more drunks!
Linda! Come here at once!
Do you hear!?
Well, I didn't do it.
It wasn't me.
I told you he'd come back to me.
I always told you my baby
would come back to me.
Linda? Where are you?
Here, Daddy...
Linda?
Linda?
All aboard!
Linda!
Linda!
Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you're young at heart
For it's hard, you will find
To be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart
You can go to extremes
- With impossible schemes
- Linda!
You can laugh when your dreams
Fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting
With each passing day
- And love is either in your heart, or on its way
- Linda!
Don't you know that it's worth
Every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are
It's much better by far
To be young at heart
And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you'll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart
And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you'll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart
Mummy!
Mother, you had me
But I never had you
I wanted you
You didn't want me
So I
I just got to tell you
Goodbye
Goodbye
Here among the zillion, trillion stars,
even time itself
can be bent and twisted
and, unbelievable as it may seem,
two or more things can inhabit
the same area at the same time
co-existing in parallel dimensions.
Take this desirable
blue-green residence.
A modest little planet, but the
occupants are an intelligent bunch.
They inhabit its surface,
always seeking, always striving
to solve the mysteries of the cosmos.
But, at this very moment,
one of those mysteries
is about to become a menacing reality.
Goodbye
Mama don't go
Daddy come home
Mama don't go
Daddy come home
Mama don't go
Daddy come home
Mummy!
He's gone all to pieces and lost his head.
Don't panic, Penfold!
I'm just over here at Fourth Dimension.
- Eh?
- Um... well, my head is.
Look here, you fiend!
I don't know how...
Henry, would you please hurry up!
Okay. Down in a minute.
Same every morning!
Stupid old trains!
Yes, he's removed the door
and the demon to Alpha Centauri.
Hello?
Hello?
Mummy!
Oh, please.
Oh please, stop.
Please. Please, stop!
Please!
You stinking fat bastard!
I'll catch up, don't worry!
Pig!
- Henry, for goodness' sakes!
- Coming!
And this is a model engine.
Let's see what's inside, shall we?
You see, there are
four tubes called cylinders,
and inside each cylinder is a kind of
plunger called a piston. You see?
Have you got that, Chumley?
The engine has four cylinders,
and inside each cylinder is
a plunger called a piston.
Okay, Mr Whoopee, go ahead.
Oh! Well, a little
gas and air come into the cylinder.
Now, gas is very, very explosive.
So when a spark plug in the top
of the cylinder makes a spark...
Interesting?
Not to you.
Try me.
Come on, Linda. You don't want
to know about my hobby.
I can't care if you don't
talk to me about it. Can't I?
Hmm?
You baiting me?
Now, why would I do a thing like that?
Chooga-chooga-chuff-chuff...
Hey ho.
Hey ho.
Linda, what's wrong here?
- You'll be late at the clinic.
- Again.
Bye-bye, sugar. See you at six.
- Have a nice day, Henry.
- Bye-bye, sugar. See you at six.
Surprise, surprise.
Come soon.
Oh, come today.
I have to say it.
I don't normally approve of the
disfigurement involved in tattoos.
- What?
- But I wholly approve of yours.
It's admirable!
Just what the hell
are you trying to say?
The simple word, "Mom".
The way you've got the word "Mom"
across the heart like that.
Listen, fella, you just don't
jump up a man's truck
and start talking about his tattoo.
That's some bad judgement.
I presume you love,
or loved, your mother?
What?!
I take it you had feelings
of the warmest possible affection
for your mother?
Yeah. I did.
Everybody should have a mother.
But I never knew mine.
They took me away when I
was only two or three days old.
Where to?
The funny farm?
Yes.
Two days old.
Think of it.
I was born in this country, you know.
I should have had my childhood here.
But they took me away.
"...I don't give a frog shit."
To the Minister! Look, I said,
I've got to live in this town.
At least you don't have to
tidy up his toys.
Rather have that.
You ever wish you were someplace else?
Okay, buddy.
This is where you're getting out.
What?
I'm putting you down here.
Erm... but... what?
Listen, fella. You ain't done nothing but
run your damn mouth for the last hour
and I ain't understood
but about half of what you said.
I didn't want you to feel lonely.
Look here, fella, this is
a little old biddy town.
There ain't nothing
happening here at all.
So they ought to be
damned glad to get you.
Now get your ass out.
You think I talk too much.
Is that it?
Nooo!
But that don't matter none, good buddy.
What?
I'm just practising.
I don't want to stand out
like a sore thumb, do I?
Who's that mother?
I'm that mother!
Go on, get out!
Thanks.
Well, I guess maybe they're
thinking of doing it more like last year.
Always the same.
They just go on and on and on...
Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh.
- Good morning, Dr Henry.
- Good morning.
Oh, I didn't notice you, Bernard.
Good morning!
Why don't you try
a little harder, Henry?
Pretty soon you'll be able to say
"good afternoon" when you arrive.
You wouldn't happen to have
such a thing as egg and chips,
by any chance, would you?
- What?
- I mean, erm...
Shit, what do I mean?
Ah, fried egg and French fries.
Sure. How do you want your egg?
- I beg your pardon?
- Easy over, or what?
- Do I have an alternative?
- Do you have what?
That will be fine. Splendid.
Ta very much.
What's "easy over"?
Are you English?
Um...
is it that obvious?
I mean, I've scarcely
opened my mouth.
You don't mind, do you?
- No.
- Do you?
No. Go ahead.
As long as you don't think I'm being
impertinent or anything gross like that,
but there's something about your
face that sort of reassures me.
- I'm not intrusive, am I?
- No.
- Am I?
- No, of course not.
How do you do, Madam?
My name is Martin.
And spot on, quite right,
jolly shrewd.
I'm from England.
I've come all the way across
the pond in search of my mama.
Oh, hi. I'm Linda.
Well, welcome to America.
Hey.
- This is my friend Arlanda.
- Hi.
Arlanda.
Arlanda? Isn't that
the name of an airport?
Hello, Arlanda. Come in, please!
Are you receiving me, Arlanda?
I don't know. Is it?
Yes.
It is.
Stockholm.
In Sweden, you know.
I'm not sure I like having
the same name as an airport.
It's better than a railway station.
What is it? What's the matter?
No, no, nothing.
There's not something
on my face, is there?
I haven't got a bogey
on my nose, have I?
No.
I remind you of someone, don't I?
- No...
- Don't I? Yes. Yes, I do.
Well, it was real nice
meeting with you.
I hope you really have
a nice vacation.
- Oh, are you going?
- I'm going.
- But I will see you again, won't I?
- We've got to go.
I will see you.
I will.
- Yeah, we'd better go now, sir.
- I doubt it.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Well, I don't. I certainly don't.
Jesus Christ...
Enjoy.
Shut up!
Piggy.
Little piggy.
No...
Daddy?
Daddykins?
Which ickle-lickle naughty ickle girl
wants to be a bad lickle girl?
No, Linda.
Daddy...
Ickle Linda can't go bye-byes.
Not now, Linda.
I've hardly had a wink of sleep.
Ooh, but I'm a naughty ickle girl.
Daddy...
- Daddykins!
- Oh, for goodness sakes! What the hell!
Oh, for Christ's sake, Henry,
you're so goddamn boring!
What's the matter, Linda?
Linda, I'm tired.
Chooga-chooga-chuff-chuff!
Linda, would you put the light out?
You know I can't sleep with the light on.
Linda...
He's outside, you know.
He's come back.
He's outside, and he's waiting.
Oh no he isn't!
Linda?
Linda?
Linda?
Linda?
Why are you looking at me like that?
Like what?
It's not exactly
a friendly look, now, is it?
Have I, er...
upset you in some way?
You sure have.
Daddys'll smackoo.
Daddykins will smack little Linda...
- No! Not that!
- I, uh, I thought that...
My God, Henry. You're so obtuse!
Yes. I guess I am.
I'm not one of your
geriatric patients, you know.
No...
You're so used to treating
those old has-beens,
or... or playing with your trains.
I do not play with my trains.
Well, what do you do
with them, then?
Every morning, every evening,
it's driving me crazy!
"Unreasonable" is a better word.
You're being unreasonable.
You didn't even use that...
that pretty little snowplough
I bought you for your birthday.
It's a Canadian Pacific snowplough.
I don't have a Canadian Pacific loco.
There.
You see? You see?
We know nothing whatsoever
about each other. Nothing!
We'll talk about this later.
Henry.
Henry,
I need that child. I want that baby!
Linda...
I'm suffocating.
I'll just die without that baby.
It is not, not,
I repeat, not possible.
We've got this big house.
You're a doctor.
We're good people.
We could give it... him...
everything a child
could possibly want.
No, Linda.
Love, security, everything.
It is not possible.
I can't go on like this any more.
It's just so empty.
There's no shape. No purpose.
You know very well no agency,
no court anywhere
is going to allow us to adopt
a child, and you also know why.
You cruel bastard!
If you say so.
You're selfish, Henry!
Totally and completely selfish!
Now stop getting yourself worked up.
We've had all this out
at least a hundred times.
Why get overwrought?
Bye-bye, sugar.
See you at six.
- I'll kill myself!
- Yeah, yeah, sure...
I'll be at the bottom of the pool!
I mean it!
My baby!
Bastard!
What did you say?
What?
Did I hear the word "bastard"
from your fair lips?
It's not a word that I care to hear,
myself. Gets too personal.
But, as the Bard said,
"God, stand up for bastards!"
- What the hell are you...
- Hello.
Hello?
What do you mean, hello?
I suppose I ought to
have brought a big bunch of flowers.
What do you want?
How did you...
A bouquet of English roses,
red and thorny.
No, a bunch of forget-me-nots!
How did you get in here?
What are you doing?
You almost overdid it, didn't you?
No air left in your lungs.
You might even be dead. Hmm?
- What are you...
- You are Mrs Linda Alice Henry, are you not?
- I'll call the police!
- Who used to be Linda Alice Carter.
- Correct?
- How did you...
Look, you haven't told me
who you are, or what you want,
or what you were doing staring
up at this house last night.
You're so much younger,
and so much more beautiful
than I ever imagined.
Who are you?
I've come a long, long way
to find you,
Linda Alice Carter.
Do I know you from...
We were very, very close
once upon a time.
As close as close can be.
Do you not remember the tug of my lips
on your tender young breast?
I'll do this for you, Nurse Stein,
if you'll do the same for me!
Okay, Mr Ennis. Come on, darlin'.
Up on the table.
You got a nice piece there, don't you?
- Nurse Stein, please.
- Jealous, Doc?
- Hey! Never mind that needle!
- I forgot to ask you to call my wife.
You want me to call your wife?
Oho! That's the way it is, huh?
Tell her I'll, well...
I'll be home late.
Very late.
I didn't have an opportunity to, um...
I forgot our little
gathering this evening.
You forgot the Trainorama?
Well, one should sometimes be
economical with the truth.
I'll do this for you, Nurse Stein,
if you do the same for me.
I'll do better than that, Henry.
- Hey!
- Mr Ennis?
Is there something you
like about my butt?
- What?
- You want to keep on looking at it?
You want I should keep it stuck
up here in the air all day long?
Now, now, now, now, now,
Mr Ennis.
Hold still, please.
Holy shit!
That hurt!
There. That should do nicely.
Our plucky heroes
left on their perilous quest.
- Harry felt a little confused.
- Yeah, must be the tropic zone.
Er... no, it's my watch.
Anyway, although
they scoured the area,
not a sign of Zero did they find.
No sense in
going any further. Let's...
Aren't you the nice lady, then?
Aren't you at all the kind of woman
I always thought you were.
Be so kind as to cast your mind back to
the summer of rock and free love.
- What?
- The end of flower power.
Scruffy sods giving each other
daffodils and the clap.
Peace, and all that shit.
Remember?
What were you doing then?
I was at school.
Bet you were good at biology.
What?
The reproductive system.
It can't be.
It can't be.
I'm very tired, you know.
I'm very, very tired.
I mean, I've spent all my life
looking for you.
As well as all my money.
For God's sake please, who are you?
I'm your little baby boy, Mummy dear.
My baby?
My little pink baby?
Mother...
It's blown the whole building away.
But at least there's my Junior,
my little boy.
I... I don't know whether
to believe you or not.
No?
I can't...
- I can't take it all in.
- You abandoned me!
Didn't you?
- I...
- Well?
I had no choice.
I had no choice.
No choice. No choice.
I didn't!
No choice, no rights,
no nothing!
I was taken over
and humiliated and bullied!
Made to feel
the dirtiest, wickedest...
I was a schoolgirl.
Pregnant schoolgirl.
Somebody who didn't know what to do,
or where to go, or who to turn to...
or how to escape, or nothing!
A very scared little girl,
with an overbearing father
and a dimwit mama...
Come on, hey.
Come on...
There hasn't been a day since I haven't
thought about what happened,
or what should have happened.
I spy!
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with... B!
What are you do...
Don't be ridiculous!
- Please play with me, Mummy!
- No!
Something beginning with B.
Now, think!
What's the matter?
- What are you pulling a face for?
- Let go of my wrist!
I'm only playing.
How do I know you are
who you say you are?
You could have followed me
from that diner, or...
could have found out about me.
Two days after I was born,
which was May 17th, my birthday,
I was given to a middle-aged
couple called Brennan.
You know.
She was a cleaning
woman in your mum's house.
But within a year...
back to England.
With me.
Little me.
Then it's true.
My child! Where's my child?
- There's no reason to fear!
- It's really true!
Underdog is here!
I've got a new cassette
I want to play.
It's the most fantastic...
You sure this isn't going to give you
cardiac arrest one of these mornings?
Hurry up. Hurry up!
You want me to lock the door,
don't you? Be patient, Doctor.
She wanted me to be
daddy again last night.
It just disgusts me.
It does not come easy to me.
It's not what I like at all.
Wait, wait, wait!
There's a terrific bit coming up.
Now!
- I spy with my little...
- No!
Now you cut it out. I mean it!
Hey!
What... where'd you go?
Martin?
Martin?
I'll be all right...
be all right.
Be. All. Right.
- Guess who?
- God, you scared me!
Why don't you like games, Mummy?
- Martin loves games.
- Well, I don't!
What's the matter with you, anyway?
Are you out of your mind?
Oh, don't say that.
Don't ever say that.
I've been ill. That's all.
Sort of.
Ill?
How do you mean, ill?
- Where are we going?
- What?
In this nice car.
Where are you taking me?
I hope it's somewhere exciting.
Well, you'll just have to
wait and see, won't you?
I'm not a bit like
you thought I am, am I?
Eh?
It's the shock just
beginning to hit me, I...
- I never thought...
- Something beginning with B.
- What?
- Do you give up?
Well, do you give up?
- What are you talking about?
- Something beginning with B.
You can't guess it,
so... you give up.
Right?
Oh, this is no fun.
This is no fun at all.
What sort of mummy are you, anyway?
And where are we going?
- To the clinic.
- What?
- I must see my husband. I have to.
- No!
- Stop it!
- No!
We are not going to any clinic.
Well, my husband is there.
I have to talk to him.
No clinic! No doctors!
Nothing medical whatsoever!
No...
maybe not.
Definitely not!
What is it?
Are you going to
make up for lost time?
How... how do you mean?
All the years.
All those years.
The lost years.
Martin, how can I?
- I'm sick to death of being grown up.
- What?
You owe me.
Oh, certainly you owe me.
Definitely you do.
- Or am I just the dirty little secret?
- No. Don't say that.
You mustn't say that. You've
never been that, not to me.
You can kiss me, if you want.
You can kiss me.
I mustn't get drunk.
Henry says I have to stop drinking.
You never cuddled me, did you?
And you never played peep-bo.
And you never kissed it better.
Kissed what better?
- My knee.
- Oh. Did you...
You never brought me
a light in the dark,
and you never waited
outside the school gate,
and you never let me follow
your finger along the line of...
nice, big words.
Oh please, what words?
"Once upon a time."
All that stuff.
You know, kids' stuff.
- I used to tell you stories in my head.
- Yes, ma'am?
I wasn't talking to you.
- No?
- No.
Did you really?
Did you really and truly?
Yeah.
Snow White, Rumpelstiltskin.
That sort of stuff. Yes.
Would you tell me one now?
Will you tell me one for real?
Will you? Will you?
"Once upon a time..."
Come on. Come on.
"Once upon a time..."
Scary. Excuse me.
She's sitting there talking
to herself with tears in her eyes.
Long, long ago,
there was a little girl
who was as pretty as she was good,
and she was so very, very excited,
'cause her mama told her the fair
was coming to the town,
with wooden horses,
going up and down...
up...
And the bumper cars...
the bumper cars...
There was this young man,
he was helping with the bumper cars.
Yeah.
And...
Come on.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
No. I can't.
Come on! Oh, come on!
I don't know how to.
I've never done this before.
Please don't. No. Don't.
I've never done this before.
Please...
Come on! Come on baby!
Come on! Come on!
Yes... yes... yes!
Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
What am I gonna do now?
Who shall I tell?
What shall I say?
Oh, you wicked bastard!
My baby...
Would you like a drink, or...?
A drink?
Do you think I should?
Well, no, maybe, um...
yes, wash your hands.
Wash my hands?
Do I have to wash my hands?
Not... not if you don't want to, I...
- I just thought that...
- Are you going to make me?
- Look, why are you behaving like this?
- I don't want to wash!
I don't want to! And I won't!
I won't! I won't!
Now, Martin, stop this
this minute, do you hear me?
I mean it!
- Am I a naughty boy?
- Yes, Martin, you are!
Come here!
Are you going to make
Martin go bye-byes?
Are you going to put me to bed?
Are you?
Mummy.
Mummy.
Do forgive me, Bernard.
I know you said to come at once,
but old Mrs Hanwell was being
more than usually difficult.
And, well, here I am.
- Mrs Hanwell?
- Yes.
- Varicose veins, isn't it?
- Yes. Varicose veins.
No, amend that. Varicose brain.
Well, do sit down. Please.
Yes. Thank you.
- Er... is it anything in particular?
- No, in general.
Nothing serious, I trust?
- Doctor Henry...
- Mmm.
- What's the matter?
- Doctor? Rather formal, Bernard.
At eleven-fifteen this morning,
you gave Mr Ennis an injection.
- Yes.
- Could you tell me what it was?
Ooh, er...
Penicillin, yes.
I thought he had...
- You know what this is?
- Yes, of course.
Then read it.
I should have checked, of course.
But I...
But?
Well, I know, of course I'm sorry...
Mr Ennis quite rightly says your mind
is not entirely on your work.
- Well...
- How's your wife nowadays, Henry?
She's, er...
Perhaps your domestic situation
is affecting your professional life?
I don't think so.
I don't think you have any right
to say these things, Bernard.
No?
Everybody makes the occasional error.
Oh.
By the way, I'm going to
have to let Nurse Stein go.
You understand my meaning?
Ah... I, er...
you're referring to...
my therapy..., I...
Therapy?
Your therapy?
Is that what you call it?
Er... s-s-sciatica.
The sciatic nerve.
- Extremely...
- Painful, yes.
He never does anything interesting.
Poor Henry.
Very, very nice, but...
boring.
What you marry him for, then?
Mummy?
I needed to. That's all.
Hey!
- What are you doing?
- Playing.
I'm playing.
I like playing!
Yes...
I've decided to have
my American childhood.
What?
I am entitled to
an American childhood.
...trying to get the
crowd wound up here a little bit.
They're having a great time.
Look at the smiles on their faces.
Ball of energy today.
Maybe next year,
if we're here for the parade still...
Spoiled!
Choo-choo!
Pampered!
Over-indulged.
The whole package,
as you people say.
I've been utterly fed up
with being a grown-up
for a long time now.
What do you mean?
There's no fun in it.
There's no magic.
There's not even any marbles,
or kites,
or bedtime stories.
There's nothing.
But that's how it...
What?
Just...
yakety-yak!
Yakety-yak!
About bombs,
and interest rates, and...
stuff like that,
from old geezers with
prostrate trouble...
fucking up the world.
Being a kid again is as good
an occupation as any.
It's better.
In fact, it's a pretty good career!
Like Princess Diana.
That what you mean?
Got to work at it.
You can't expect it to be easy.
I'm going to try really hard.
Who wants to dig prostate glands
out all day, anyway?
On my terms. In my way.
You've compromised my dignity.
- Looking forward to the speech. I really am.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Hell, I've been looking forward
to this evening for so long.
I mean, the honour of the
keynote address and everything.
- But now...
- I didn't call her.
What? What do you mean?
Why? Why not?
- It's time we stopped pretending.
- Look, I'm all strung up.
I've lost my job.
I'm worried about this speech.
Bull!
I'm not backing out, but
this has got to be done my way.
- Bull!
- Bull?
This is it. You either leave
that neurotic drunk or...
Or what?
Or I'll never lay another
finger on you again.
Mummy!
Mummy!
Mummy!
And now, without further ado,
let me introduce our national leader,
Doctor Henry Henry!
Thank you, thank you!
When the ignorant and
the ill-informed say to me,
and they sometimes do say to me,
if they can find the time
to empty their heads from the
soap and the football on TV,
when they say,
"Fancy! A grown man,
"a doctor, playing with toy trains."
- Do you know what I feel?
- What do you feel?
- Shall I tell you what I feel?
- Tell us!
I feel damned sorry for them!
Yes,
I'm proud of my model railroad!
Yes!
I'm proud of the mental discipline.
The intellectual hygiene
of perfectly scaled miniaturisation.
For there, in the layout,
is the record writ small
of what built this great nation!
Shining tracks
from shining shore to shining shore.
Whoo!
Okay!
And I say to you, I say...
as I close my eyes at night,
the day's work done,
the troubles all at bay,
I see a picture of my little train
coming down the track,
a picture of long ago,
when we knew who we were!
What we were!
And where we were going!
Thank you, thank you.
Pardon me...
Pardon me, boy,
Is that the Chattanooga Choo-Choo?
Yes! Yes! Track 29!
- All aboard!
- All aboard!
All aboard!
All aboard!
All aboard!
Hello!
All aboard!
All aboard!
Fantastic!
Whoo-whoo!
Fantastic!
Yes! Yes!
The Oxnard Shores to Lompoc train
labours a little on the incline!
Good and high!
The signal bell tolls!
Clang-clang! Clang-clang!
Clang-clang! Clang-clang!
The whistle a-blowing!
Whoo! Whoo!
That's it! That's it.
Yeah, yeah! I'll catch
you on the way back.
Out of the darkness she comes...
...into the light!
God bless the model
railroaders of America!
Bastions of innocence!
Of decency!
Of healthy family life!
Mummy...
- You can't catch me!
- Yes, I can!
I won! I won!
Yes, you did!
I'm fast, I am.
Mmm, aren't you a clever one?
Am I a good boy?
Am I?
Am I?
I don't know.
Won't play.
Oh, please!
Well...
I feel like I've turned
some sort of corner.
You know that guy who was
talking to me after my speech?
Truman.
He runs a modelling factory.
Makes everything from
locos to little animals.
Including hogs?
The point is, he's offered me a job.
If I can p-p-put up...
Er... he's undercapitalised.
- Nasty complaint.
- Yes.
Well...
of course,
I'd have to relocate.
And you, too.
What do you mean?
Well...
up there, on that platform,
all those upturned faces loving me.
They did. They truly did.
Made me realise a few things.
Personal things.
- Like what?
- Like knowing who I am.
What I want, and who I want.
Especially who.
- Or is it whom?
- Who?
It's not whom?
I've never known about that one.
Grammar's always been
a problem for me,
and yet you can't say that
I'm not well educated...
Henry!
What's the matter now?
- Who, Henry? Who?!
- If you say so.
Oh! Oh!
Well, you, of course.
You, my dear.
Who else?
You're my...
inspiration.
My little choo-choo.
My cuddly caboose.
Yes, yes.
M is for the mercy she possesses
O means that I owe her all I own
T is for her tender sweet caresses
H is for her hand that made our home
E means everything she's done to save me
R means right and right she'll always be
Put them all together, they spell "Mother"
A word that means the world
To...
Me
Oh, Martin.
That's so beautiful.
And so very, very true.
More?
You want some more, Mummy?
Shall lickle Martin sing some more?
Oh. Oh, yes, my darling.
Sing for your poor mommy.
When I was but a baby
Long before I learned to walk
While lying in my cradle
I would try my best to talk
It wasn't long before I spoke
And all the neighbours heard
My folks were very proud of me
For Mother was the word
Although I'll never lay a claim to fame
I'm satisfied that I can spell this name
M is for the million things she gave me
O means only that she's growing old
T is for the tears she shed to save me
H is for her heart of purest gold
E is for her eyes with love-light shining.
R means right and regular she'll be
Put them all together they spell
"Mother"
A word that means the world
To...
Me
You liked that, didn't you?
Yeah.
You did.
Come on.
I'm going now.
I'm going to smash up the trains.
Bye-bye, Mummy.
Good boy.
Smash 'em up.
Oh, I love you.
We should
have gone to the left of this island.
About a mile back.
Arlanda?
Oh, Arlanda, thank God!
Arlanda, help me.
- Arlanda, please come over.
- What?
- Please. You have to. Come now.
- Now?
Yes. Okay!
Are we gonna be completely marooned?
I mean, no visitors at all?
You didn't say anything to Betty?
I didn't say
anything to a soul, honest.
Well, have a nice voyage to nowhere.
I'll see you in a day or two.
Don't get lost on the way home.
Linda?
Linda?
Linda, are you there?
What is it, Linda?
Keep your voice down.
- Come on. Quickly, this way!
- What... what's happened?
Shhh! Quietly.
...be able to
stand all this shattering peace and quiet?
- Oh my God!
- Don't you worry about Nancy.
I don't know what to do, I...
- I think I'm going out of my mind!
- Well, whatever's happened, Linda?
Where's Henry?
I don't know! He...
He should have been home hours ago!
I shouldn't get so excited, I expect
he's been delayed at the clinic.
Have you called him?
Look. Come on, now.
Come on, sit down.
Come on.
Just sit down, now.
Sit down, and
we'll just talk about it.
- I don't want him to hear us.
- Who?
Oh, I'm scared. I am so scared.
What are you talking about?
I... I think he might have...
I think he might have broken
poor Henry's trains.
- I don't think he likes Henry.
- Who? Who has? Who doesn't?
Oh... and Henry...
Henry will be heartbroken
and then he'll blame me.
He'll say I did it!
- Linda...
- He came to the door, I...
I mean, to the pool.
And suddenly...
he was just standing there.
- Who was?
- I had to let him in.
- I had to. Had to. Had to.
- Linda.
That young man. Yesterday.
At the hamburger place.
- That Englishman.
- What?
Wait a minute. What have
you been up to, Linda?
Oh, now, come on.
You ain't that scared.
I had to. I had to.
Had to. Had to.
Linda?
When you've kept
something down inside you
for so long, so very long
it isn't easy to bring it
all out in the open.
I... I don't really know
how to tell you.
Even you, my best friend.
Tell me what, Linda?
On my fifteenth birthday...
Go on. Go on.
Well, we went to the travelling fair.
My friends, my school friends,
in the field outside the town.
There was this guy
on the bumper cars...
I mean, he ran them, I suppose.
Red cars,
green cars, blue ones...
Don't you just love the way the sparks
fall down from the top of those poles?
- With a crack, and a hiss, a phuzzzzt!
- What?
Ah, phuzzzzt!
Electric!
That's just the way he was.
Electric!
Bumper car man.
The others, they got bored
and drifted away.
He wasn't interested in them, anyway.
I was the prettiest.
I always was the purty one.
Yes, I was!
But, Lindy, why are you
telling me all this?
I kind of hung around.
Letting him come on to me.
Wait a minute, now.
- All the time.
- You proposition me.
- The distance, and...
- You, instead of Nancy.
the fairground music was...
was churning...
Now, your husband...
Churning about.
It was as if it was inside my stomach.
- God. It made my legs go weak!
- But he ain't never gonna forget it!
This sounds like True Confessions,
with a soundtrack.
I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry.
- When the red red robin comes...
- What?
The music.
In the distance.
Oh, that music!
Comes bob-bob-bobbin' along
Come on!
No. I kept saying no!
No! Don't! Don't!
"Come on, baby!
"Come on! Come on!"
Ah! Ah!
Oh yeah!
The music in the distance.
When the red red
robin comes bob-
bob-bobbin'...
Oh, I'll say he did!
I'll say!
Come bob-bob-bobbing...
Well, that's a long way back, honey.
There'll be no more sobbing
when he starts throbbing...
Oh! Oh, I...
Yes!
Lindy. Lindy!
What has any of this have to
do with anything, Lindy?
Linda?
Linda?
Listen!
- What... what?
- Shh!
- Why are we listening?
- There were footsteps.
- Are you sure?
- On the stairs!
- Did you hear it?
- No. I don't think so. It wasn't...
The back door!
For Christ's sakes, Linda,
cut it out, you're scaring me!
Jesus...
He's gone.
He's gone away.
I knew he wouldn't stay.
Who's gone?
They always take him away from me.
Who's gone?
Go and look, Arlanda.
Go look.
Please. Please do this for me.
Listen, Linda, I don't know what
the hell's wrong with you,
but what the fuck are you
talking about?
Please, please, please, Arlanda.
Go and see if Henry's trains, I...
I think I might have done
something to them.
- You?
- Yes. Me. I...
I think I might have smashed up
his fucking trains.
I tell you, this is giving
me the creeps.
I mean, I don't know
what you're playing at.
But, if it makes you happy...
Hello, Arlanda.
Did I scare you?
Oh, Henry. Thank God you're here!
What's the matter?
It's Linda...
Linda.
- Oh, my God.
- Linda... look at me.
Look at me.
- Poor ickle Henry.
- Stop it!
Please, Linda, stop it at once.
Henry, what's wrong?
What's happening to her?
She's crazy. That's all.
Totally loco.
Henry!
You have no idea.
- You just don't know.
- But, Henry...
Do you think you could
make her a hot drink?
- Chocolate or something.
- Why, yes, of course. Anything.
Thank you.
Poor thing.
Hot drink, yes...
Poor ickle Henry Henry.
You bitch. You crazy boring idiot! Stop it!
Do you hear me, stop it at once!
Shut up! Shut up!
Choo-choo.
- What?
- Choo!
What do you mean?
Are you referring to my trains?
Chooga-chooga-chuff-chuff!
Henry! Get off!
I know what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing!
They wouldn't even
let me stay in school.
After all, I am a doctor.
They took him away from me.
They... they pulled him out of me.
And then they...
they pulled him out of my arms.
He didn't even cry or anything.
He was only just born, you see.
Yes, he did, he did cry.
I heard him. Just once.
They said God would punish me.
My Daddy said, "Punish! Punish!"
You haven't done anything
to my trains, have you?
- For Christ's sakes!
- You're probably in on this with her.
I know what you women are like.
If there's one thing
I've learnt in this world
it's that women and trains don't mix.
Listen, buster. You're the crazy one,
going on about your toys like this!
- Toys?! Toys?
- I couldn't buy him any toys.
Why shouldn't he
play with yours, Henry?
If you've...
I'm going to go see if you...
Oh, Linda.
Linda, I just don't know what to do.
I don't know how to help you.
- Help me?
- Well, if I could.
- You want to help me?
- Well, of course I do.
The only way to help me now,
Arlanda, is to remember.
Remember everything you've
seen and heard here tonight.
Lock it in your head.
Write it down.
Well... what... why?
- Linda, I...
- Arlanda, please.
Before Henry comes back down.
- Yes, but...
- Um, really, I know what to do now. Bye.
Linda! Linda!
Come here,
I want to talk to you.
No more clinics. No more drunks!
Linda! Come here at once!
Do you hear!?
Well, I didn't do it.
It wasn't me.
I told you he'd come back to me.
I always told you my baby
would come back to me.
Linda? Where are you?
Here, Daddy...
Linda?
Linda?
All aboard!
Linda!
Linda!
Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you're young at heart
For it's hard, you will find
To be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart
You can go to extremes
- With impossible schemes
- Linda!
You can laugh when your dreams
Fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting
With each passing day
- And love is either in your heart, or on its way
- Linda!
Don't you know that it's worth
Every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are
It's much better by far
To be young at heart
And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you'll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart
And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you'll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart
Mummy!