Two Weeks Notice (2002) Movie Script

I'm an attorney and this
isn't how I argue a case.
You're getting on my nerves!
This building has been here 75 years.
It deserves to remain for the community...
...because it represents
the ideals of that time!
The community deserves to have
this as a landmark. It is something to...
And we're removing it from
our children's children. You go back here.
This a community theater, and everyone
should benefit from this building!
This is your last warning!
We got a permit to take down this building!
I have a permit that allows me
to gather for the purpose...
...of expressing my constitutionally
protected right of free speech!
- You want to get killed, lady?
- Sir, according to city code...
- Forget about your code!
- Section 245: If a landmark's committee...
- Forget about the code, lady!
- When a landmark's committee decision...
- Lady, you're in violation here!
- Have you ever read the Constitution?
Take it up, Charlie!
Watch this constitution.
- Do you read?
- Come on, clear the area!
Yeah, you're clear. Go ahead.
Okay, you guys,
this is just a scare tactic.
- That's all this is.
- Well, it's sort of working.
Meryl, they do productions from the Y here,
productions with little people!
The Nutcracker and Hair. We have
to lie down in protest. Take out your mats.
Here, I've got your protective eye gear,
your sun block and your wet naps.
- Everybody, lie down in protest!
- You better get out of the way.
- We will prevail!
- You will go to jail!
Tom! Lock arms.
- I'm not feeling great about this.
- Have a little faith, please.
Meryl, would you marry me?
Really?
Oh, my God! Yes!
Shut this down, Charlie.
- I love you.
- Hey, you guys, they stopped.
You're good luck. There is justice
in the world. We prevailed!
Lunatic!
Crazy lady!
- We should call our parents.
- Guys, here are your wet naps.
- Oh, thanks.
- Thanks. We had a good time.
- I'm glad. Bye.
- Bye.
Bye. Thank you.
I'll pay you back
this time, guys. I promise.
What are parents for, if not to bail
their daughter and her friends out of jail?
So did they knock it down?
I'm not getting through to people.
Why don't people respond to me?
Honey, Wade Corporation is not people,
it's a heartless profit machine.
And it's getting worse all the time.
They're bidding
on the Surf Avenue lot.
They wanna put up condos
and tear down the center.
Wait, our community center?
My community center?
Come on, honey,
let's discuss it over dinner.
No, Dad, you know what? I'm just tired.
I think I'll just go home.
Hi, honey, it's Ansel.
I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna
make it back for your birthday.
We got a lot of new trainees onboard
and they put the green in Greenpeace.
But I'm saving whales
and thinking of you. Love you.
Yeah, hi, Mr. Wong. Lucy Kelson.
Fine. I would like a number 17...
...a number fou... Number five.
No. Number seven? Seven.
Can I get the number four
without the garlic sauce?
Okay, and then maybe
two orders of number 26.
And...
Yes, it's for one.
And that's it.
No! Give me a number eight.
Give me two number eights.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Bye.
When they told me I'd been chosen
the Medical Center's Man of the Year...
...I assumed it had
something to do with...
...the millions we have contributed
to the new pediatric wing.
But as it turns out, I had my appendix
removed earlier this year...
...and under anesthesia,
I apparently proposed marriage...
...to every nurse in the hospital.
Including the many attractive male nurses.
Why are pediatrics
so important to Wade?
I think feet are very important,
aren't they?
I'm just teasing. I know there's
more to pediatrics than feet.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you. Always nice to see you.
- George, congratulations.
- Hey, Terry, how are you?
- Still slicing people up?
- Indeed.
Yeah, I bet you are.
Hi, there. Oh, yes, the Emile family.
Lovely. So good.
- Hi.
- Nice to see you. Take care.
Melanie Corman.
Hospital administration.
My friend Elaine Cominsky wants
to meet you, but she's shy. Is that okay?
That's fine. I've been too nervous
to meet Elaine myself.
- Good. Don't move. Great tie, by the way.
- Thanks. I was rather nervous about it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, your brother wants to see you.
- What? Now? Tonight?
Yeah, that's what he said. Although
sometimes it's hard to tell with the accent.
This is Elaine.
- Oh, hello.
- Hi. Would you sign my GQ?
Oh, GQ! I see what you mean.
Sorry, I thought it was a medical term.
You had me all excited.
- "To Elaine, George Wade."
- Thank you.
Hang on just one second.
There's no way I'm running up
to Westchester just because he calls.
It's absurd. He'll just have to wait.
- Right on. Hey, man, forget him.
- Yeah.
- Should I get the car?
- Yes, get the car.
- Good evening, Mr. George.
- Good evening, Rosario.
- Excellent new hairdo.
- Mr. George.
No, I'm serious. You look like
a young Imelda Marcos.
- Hello, George.
- Hello, Helen.
Don't you think Rosario
looks particularly lovely tonight?
I hadn't really noticed.
Rosario, the children need baths, please.
Yes, Miss Helen.
- So how are the kids, apart from dirty?
- They're fine.
- Can I get you anything?
- I'd love some Milk Duds.
We don't have any.
I could send out for one.
Oh, no, don't be ridiculous.
If you're going to send out, get a whole box.
- Howard is in the gym.
- Right.
Forty-five minutes, 6.5 miles an hour,
at an elevation of three.
It's incredible how much
more relaxed I feel.
- Helen does an hour a day too.
- Yes, you both seem extremely relaxed.
You can cut the relaxation with a knife.
So why am I here, Howie?
We lost the West Side waterfront deal
because your chief counsel...
...your latest model/attorney...
...forgot to file
an Environmental Impact Report.
I will admit that the law
is not Amber's strong point.
- That's why I fired her.
- No, I fired her.
Just as I fired Debbie
from St. Barts' Law School...
...and Stacy from Online Law School.
I want someone from Yale or Columbia
or from the continental United States.
Women of that level of intellectual ability
often find me shallow.
- Then hire a man.
- Don't be absurd.
Because they wouldn't sleep with you?
No, because it would make you
and Dad too happy.
Dad has been dead for 10 years.
Well, there is no reason for him
to start enjoying himself now.
You need someone who can write
a brief instead of removing yours.
And she can handle your divorce
while she's at it.
You are still getting divorced?
Unless my ex-wife decides to fall in love
with me again, or for the first time, yeah.
No! Why do you always
find that so funny?
- It's very hard to say.
- Hire a real attorney by tomorrow.
Don't!
- Hello, have a good day.
- Thank you, ma'am.
- So you're Russian, you say?
- 100%% .
Hence, blond hair,
blue eyes, cheekbones.
Sorry to have kept you so long, but at least
I feel I know everything about you.
And I you. You know, usually I'm so nervous
at interviews, but that was fun.
Yes. Isn't "fun" fun?
It's been a pleasure, Tiffany.
Mr. Wade? Mr. Wade?
Hi, I'm Lucy Kelson. I'm an attorney.
Have you ever heard
of Saint-Tropez Law School?
- No.
- Shame.
- Where did you go to law school?
- Harvard.
- Harvard?
- Yes.
Intriguing. Tell me more.
What's your background?
I don't see how that's relevant.
I work for the Coalition for the Homeless.
- I'm working at Legal Aid.
- That can't pay much.
Well, I'm not very interested in money.
Now, Mr. Wade...
Wait a minute. You're Kelson.
You lie in front of our wrecking balls.
- You attacked the Zegman brothers...
- I did not.
It's not my fault they walked
under a protest sign.
- You're not here for a job?
- I'm here representing...
...the Coney Island Community Center.
It was built in 1922.
It's the heart of Coney Island.
It has adult education, basketball...
...CPR, Lamaze, water ballet,
senior's tae kwon do. It's great.
For children, it's a home away from home.
I mean, I practically grew up there.
It's lovely, but Trump
has the inside track. Nice to meet you.
No, Mr. Wade, you don't understand.
I live there, as well as my parents.
They know Assemblyman Perez,
who's on the board.
If you can guarantee the preservation
of this center, I can guarantee you the build.
But why us? Why Wade?
Well, I can't get in to see Trump
and the Zegmans have a restraining order.
Mr. W?
You're supposed to be taping
The View in half an hour...
...and Public Policy magazine needs a quote
on the challenges of urban planning. Hey.
Right. Yes. Quote, quote, quote, quote...
What I love about architecture
is its ability to shape a community.
This center has shaped the community!
It turns strangers into neighbors...
Its ability to change
strangers into neighbors.
How the right design for a park
makes people feel secure.
How a school building can be functional
and beautiful so that kids feel...
No, the community center makes children
feel engaged, and it allows them a place...
Functional and beautiful so that kids
feel engaged instead of imprisoned?
- Yeah, it sounds good.
- I like that.
But I said a community center,
not a school.
I know, it's all very good.
Jump in. Thanks.
- Nice shirt.
- Thank you.
So do we have a deal?
No. I want something else from you.
No. I am fully aware of your reputation
and there's no way you're getting that. No.
- Getting what?
- You know.
The sex. That's not gonna happen.
No, that would be nice.
I promise to save your community center.
On top of which, you can direct
our pro bono efforts.
That's millions at your charitable disposal.
I've spent my entire life
working against people like you.
Well, maybe if you work for me,
you'll win occasionally.
I need an answer, I'm afraid, immediately.
Here is my direct number at the Grand Hotel.
- You live at a hotel?
- Well, I own the hotel and I live there.
My life is very much like Monopoly.
And I know you wouldn't care,
but I'll start you at $250,000.
There's also usually
a very nice Christmas bonus.
Thank you.
- I can't believe how much I ate.
- I'm proud of you.
The whole left side of the menu.
You know when I get tense,
I just start to eat.
- Honey, you cannot work for that man.
- Hey, we can use the bail money.
- Remember what Sun Tzu said?
- Yes.
"Keep your friends close
and your enemies closer."
Sun Tzu didn't have a daughter.
What's this? Oh, dessert. Thank you.
It's the only way to save
the community center.
It is. And if I work for him...
...I have huge resources
at my disposal for charities and shelters...
- Yes, but...
- Mom, I promise.
I will still be your daughter.
I will still be a lawyer.
And I will still have
all the same ideals.
Let's update all the files.
Especially the muni-codes
because I'll need those.
I'm gonna speak with Mr. Wade.
Mr. Wade, so sorry to bother.
I've been over the Environmental
Impact Reports for Island Towers.
- I would really love to talk to you.
- Very good.
I really wanted to ask you:
Which one of these do you prefer?
- How do you mean?
- It's for my new personalized stationery.
Is this a trick question?
They look exactly the same to me.
No, not at all. This is a linen finish
and this is a watermarked vellum finish.
Leaving aside the fact
that they've taken perfectly good forests...
...and denuded them in order
to produce this nonrecyclable paper...
...I would say it was...
Well, then this one. It tastes better.
Do you know, I've asked
You're the only one to come up
with that answer.
My God, you're good.
I'm getting you a bigger office.
No, it's very sweet,
but I'd rather go over the...
Very firm.
But is it too firm?
There's some debate among chiropractors
about the optimum level of mattress tension.
What are your thoughts?
If you really want to know,
the more firm the mattress...
...the more pressure on the 5th vertebra.
Quite bouncy, though. Have a bounce.
No.
- Hello.
- Yes, I'm glad you're up.
I didn't want to wake you.
I just felt like a chat.
George, it is 2:15 in the morning.
Can't you talk to whatever
Mensa candidate you're with?
I resent the implication...
...that because someone
may not share your high IQ...
...they're not a person
of substance and depth.
- You all right?
- I swallowed my Altoid.
She swallowed her Altoid. That can happen.
A sudden hair flick, very dangerous.
Okay, George, I am tired.
Put her on the phone.
You mean, put her on the phone?
Put her on the phone!
All right. Someone for you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
The man you're dancing
with is deeply troubled, okay?
And even though he's rich
and attractive...
...you're too young to trade
yourself like a stock on NASDAQ...
...for someone who won't
remember your name...
...or his in the morning,
is still married...
...and has recently had
a very suspicious rash.
It is 2:16.
Go home, finish high school
and reach your potential!
You all right?
I think I'm gonna go.
- What did you say to her? Nice chat?
- Yes.
That we have to talk about.
Now, do you think I should cry?
I was thinking bursts of sobs.
More of a whimper.
You're pathetic. Good night.
All right.
I'm sure he'll be here any minute.
Is there any more Diet Coke?
Sorry, everybody.
Did I miss the blessed event?
Check with me before you talk.
Now that we're all here, I'd like to discuss
the settlement terms.
The terms have been set.
It's called a prenup.
We both know...
...that a prenup doesn't preclude
certain recompensatory...
In plain English, although I can follow
you in German and Japanese if you prefer.
- She wants double the alimony.
- No way.
Given the situation,
it's not an unreasonable request.
You're referring to the alleged infidelity,
are you not?
Alleged? He was having
sex with her in our bed.
I knew you were worried
about getting anything on that sofa.
- How dare you come in here...
- I shouldn't have said that. Sorry.
Please.
So you are saying that infidelity
is worth twice the alimony.
Using your reasoning,
any infidelity on her part...
...would have to be held against her
in a monetary accounting.
What are you suggesting?
The soon to be ex-Mrs. Wade did a little
couch time with a company accountant.
And he's willing to testify.
I have Ioyal employees.
I think it's the health plan.
- The health plan is excellent.
- Thank you.
- We will not agree to pay any...
- We will pay the alimony...
...plus $100,000 and
a generous property settlement...
...if you release me from further obligation.
- You son of a bitch!
- What?
Watch your language
or you will not get the estate, Mrs. Wade.
Don't call me that!
You're just another one of his stupid bimbos!
Now, wait! She is far from stupid...
- What do you think you're doing?
- Went up my nose.
- Water went up my nose.
- It's only water.
Okay, this hankie is very nearly clean.
I'm going to dab you.
- You may blow.
- Thank you.
Good.
Divorce always gives me
an appetite. Kebab?
No, I've never warmed
to the idea of a flesh Popsicle.
- One, please. Chicken, thank you.
- Why did you give her the money?
She'd never have stopped
till she got what she wanted.
You always say I have a responsibility
towards those less fortunate.
Everybody is less fortunate than you...
...so just give the money to someone
who's not gonna spend it on collagen.
You only want me to be generous
to those you approve of.
No. I only want you to
finally allow me to do my job.
You did your job. This morning I was married,
now I'm not. You did it superbly.
Thank you very much.
Here, that's fine. You keep the change.
Thank you.
George.
- Hey, that's my coffee, you jerk!
- Oh, sir, I'm so sorry.
- Moron!
- I thought you were needy.
What's wrong with you?!
Can't a guy have a cup of coffee?!
- It's all right. Come on, Mother Teresa.
- My only cup of the day! You ruined it!
Okay, now, what do you think?
Too ornate?
I don't care about the belt.
You're upset.
Look, from now on, I'll get someone else
to handle my divorces.
It's not like I enjoy them.
Maybe I should go somewhere where
no one knows how much money I have.
Where is Staten Island?
Why don't we go there?
Thanks, but Harvard
doesn't give a degree in yenta.
I'm not here to find you a wife
or to pick out your clothes.
My heroes are Clarence Darrow,
Thurgood Marshall...
Who's another non-scummy lawyer?
My parents!
My father worked for Martin Luther King.
My mother is a law professor.
They taught me that lawyers
should be treated with respect.
I have complete respect for you.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Luce, wait. Wait!
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
to join together Meryl and Tom...
...as they stand before us
on this joyous day...
...proclaim their love and enter
into that most sacred bond of all...
...the bond of holy...
Is that yours?
I'm so sorry.
Please continue. Everyone looks so beautiful.
Just keep going.
Bye. You guys, I'll be right back.
Hold this for me. I'll be back.
Twenty bucks for your cab.
Keep the 20 and let's have dinner.
Keep your dinner. I'll keep my 20
and we'll call it even.
- Okay, sounds good.
- Okay, bye.
Go.
George, pick up. What's wrong?
Don't tell me that the construction permits
didn't come through...
...because I had the application
into the Zoning Committee by 9 a.m.
- Evening, Miss Kelson.
- Willie, told you the Mets would sweep.
- Miss Kelson.
- Ms. Hana.
- Good evening, Miss Kelson.
- Linda.
- George?
- Help! I'm in my closet.
- What is it?
- That is a very attractive.
Okay, I'm judging the Miss New York contest
in under an hour. It's on television.
What do you think?
Please don't tell me you called me out
of a wedding to help you pick out a suit.
- You ran out of a wedding? That's horrible!
- You said it was an emergency!
Didn't I memo you as to what
constitutes an emergency?
Yes. Large meteor, severe loss of blood
and what's the third one again?
- Death! And you're not dead.
- No.
You weren't dead when
you called me at 3:00 a. m...
...because you had a nightmare about
becoming a member of KISS.
Just like when you barged in
on my woman's doctor appointment...
...to ask me which picture
to put on the cover of People.
I don't like those very much. If it's any
consolation, I will be dead eventually.
Tonight is important. I'm representing
the Wade organization. That includes you.
Not anymore, George.
- I'm sorry?
- You got Island Towers, I got Coney Island.
Why don't we just call it quits, okay?
I can't take it anymore.
- What, are you serious?
- Yes.
Please, consider this my two weeks' notice.
- I find you ungrateful.
- Ungrateful?
- Yes, ungrateful.
- Ungrateful?!
Yes. I hire you with
no corporate experience.
I give you an apartment, a great office,
the nonfat muffin basket every morning.
- George!
- Why do you keep your phone on?
You crave the excitement.
This is entirely my thing...
...because I've managed
to turn myself into this...
It's not like I'm enjoying it either.
Now I can't. I'm addicted.
I have to know what you think.
What do you think?
I think you are the most selfish
human being on the planet.
That's just silly. Have you met
everyone on the planet?
Goodbye, George.
I don't have a shirt.
Ansel, I finally quit. He called me
out of Meryl's wedding.
- I'll never get that moment back.
- Okay.
I'll set up interviews with law firms
that do pro bono work, and...
- All right, hang on.
- What?
Look, we're shipping out.
I gotta go. You take care of yourself.
I gotta go, hon.
Okay, just don't fall in love with
any cute marine biologists.
- Okay, I promise. Bye.
- Okay.
- Love you.
- Bye.
I am really looking forward
to a new challenge...
...and your firm has the optimal blend
of public and private interest law.
Lucy, your resume is amazing.
You know that.
But we do a lot of business with Wade.
All the more reason for me
to make a smooth transition.
- Lucy.
- Yes.
George Wade called me this morning
and informed me...
...that you are indispensable
to his organization.
At the moment, we're not hiring.
Then why did you agree to see me?
Honestly, we're partners
with Zodiac Construction...
They do millions of dollars
of business with Wade Realty...
- And Mr. Wade...
- Doesn't want you to hire me.
The attorney who was planning
to quit reconsidered.
- When did Mr. Wade call?
- Mr. Wade never called.
- When?!
- Maybe an hour ago.
Make sure you massage his cloven hoof!
I'm suddenly feeling a pain in my ass.
I am unemployable! You called everyone
except for Slurpee Heaven!
That is not true. I did call Slurpee Heaven.
They didn't want you.
Heard you had attitude.
Said you weren't Slurpee material.
- You should really let us work on you.
- I don't like to be touched!
I'm sorry, you guys are great.
It's not you.
All right, listen.
You have a contract and it says
you will work until Island Towers is finalized.
Which is completion of construction,
or I can stop you working elsewhere.
And there's no loopholes
because you drafted it and you're the best.
Subconsciously, I think you drafted it that
way because you don't really want to go.
Does it kill you how well I know you?
Honey, this contract is excellent work.
I'm very proud of you.
Dad, I'm trying to get out of it.
I don't know why you went to work
for that philandering robber baron.
You usually have impeccable instincts.
Look at your boyfriend, Ansel.
He's a dedicated environmental warrior.
This is ironclad. Houdini couldn't
get out of this contract.
You should've stayed
at the legal aid job.
If I do pro bono work with a company
with these resources...
...I can accomplish so much...
- Come on over for strawberry ice cream.
Have Tofutti! You heard what the doctor
said. Your cholesterol is over 300!
You're basically a solid.
Two of the greatest legal minds
in this country arguing over dessert.
Lucy, it was your choice to work
for that man.
You could've done anything. You could've
clerked for the Supreme Court.
I don't know what to tell you.
Short of going in
and deliberately trying to get fired.
You stay away from that freezer!
Good morning, boys.
Sorry, I am so late.
That's fine. We only just got here.
Forty-five minutes ago.
Howie, are these your kids?
You know, I've never actually met them.
They are good-Iooking boys.
That's a girl. That's Sue and Paul.
Yes, so it is.
You know what?
She is gonna be a heartbreaker.
That's Paul.
- Yeah. Thank you.
- Sorry.
So we've got the Coney Island project.
I'd like to stir up some publicity if we could.
Yes, very nice.
I'm...
I'm working on endorsements
from local merchants.
We were working
on some ideas there.
I thought that was terrific.
- Pathetic.
- What's pathetic?
- You. I know what you're doing.
- I am not doing anything.
You think if you come in late and spit
on the boss that will get you fired?
Not in this company.
- Chris.
- George.
George, I have an ulcer.
I don't sleep well, mostly because
you keep calling me at night.
If you don't call me,
I dream you're gonna call me.
I think about you in the shower,
not in a good way...
...but in an I'm-so-distracted-I-can't-
remember-if-I washed-my-hair way.
So I wash my hair twice.
So I have a hole in my stomach,
I am running out of shampoo...
...and today is the first time in my life
I did not give a 1000 percent on the job...
...and I hate that feeling!
- I won't call after hours.
- You will, George! You know you will.
Yeah, I will.
I just don't think we can see each other
professionally anymore.
All right. Stay until you find
a replacement.
Train him up for a couple of weeks,
then you can go to Slurpee Heaven.
Thank you! I promise I will find
you somebody amazing.
Somebody better than me
because I'm not even any good.
- No.
- A glorified ambulance chaser.
Thank you.
I got it. It's just my earring.
- My hair!
- Careful! That's my overpriced Italian belt.
Just get it off!
Howard.
Join us. We were just brainstorming.
- Lucy?
- Yes.
I was thinking it might be a good idea
to do a photo op at the build site...
...where George would be in the...
George in the foreground,
pointing up to the sky...
...like this.
- Yes.
Then I thought I could take my belt off,
as if to say, let's get to work!
Right. Right-o.
On behalf of Wade Corporation,
I'd like to thank the Community Board...
...for giving us the opportunity
to work with you on this project.
And we look forward to seeing
all of you at the groundbreaking.
I did well with those eight people.
- I thought you were fantastic.
- This way, Mr. Wade.
Just Mr. Wade.
- More.
- Great. Can we go now?
Absolutely. I just want to say hello
to my folks.
Folks?
Excuse me.
Hello.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Is that a new coat? I like it.
- Thanks.
What a wonderful surprise!
We finally meet after all this time.
George Wade.
Mrs. Kelson, I presume.
What a pleasure.
Well, I can certainly see
where Lucy gets her stare from.
I'm Larry. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Thanks, Larry. Same here.
Thank you for letting Lucy quit.
It certainly made our week.
- Great pleasure.
- We should get back to the office.
- Come on! Have some cake.
- We can't.
We're two blocks from the apartment.
- You live around here?
- Sure.
- What a charming coincidence.
- It won't be charming...
...once you block out the sun
with this condo-hotel monstrosity!
We will have a sun deck.
That's something, isn't it?
Larry, Ruth, I can't tell you how much
I appreciate your support on this project.
At least you're keeping
the community center.
Unless you're willing to reconsider
the entire project.
I'm afraid that won't happen.
It is over 50 million in profits.
I think it's immoral that any human being
should acquire that much wealth.
I don't know how you sleep at night.
A machine that plays the ocean.
I used to come up here all the time
when I was a kid. My special place.
I had a small one-bedroom
on Park and 91st.
That's so very Oliver Twist.
Times were hard. But you know what?
We were happy.
- Didn't have a view as good as this.
- It's great, isn't it?
I used to take up some ice cream
and my Carole King tape...
...and look at the neighborhood.
It's amazing what you could see. At night,
the whole building went downstairs.
The fathers stood on one corner.
The mothers stood on the other.
Kids would just ride their bicycles around.
As you can see, not much has changed.
Mr. and Mrs. Goldfarb would be sitting
in the middle of the street...
...saving a parking space for their children
who were coming next weekend.
And you up here on your own.
It's hard to find a quiet place
in Brooklyn to think.
Or to replay whatever argument
I just had with my mother.
Yes.
Yeah, she's terrifying.
I thought she was gonna kill me
and feed me to the poor.
Yeah, she's a piece of work.
But for better or worse, she's the voice
in my head pushing me to do better.
Challenge the accepted wisdom. Never
settle for a B instead of an A on a test.
You once got a B?
- Hypothetically speaking.
- Right.
Of course, no matter how hard I try,
I will never live up to her expectations.
Well, there are worse things in life.
Like no one having any expectations.
There's something amuck
with this sponge cake.
Tofu.
You're not concentrating.
This offends me.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Ton.
I lost Lucy.
I just think it's a shame because I've
come to rely on her for everything.
And I trust her completely,
and she's funny.
Not deliberately, of course.
Hey, you know, it's probably
for the best though.
Oh, yeah? Why is that?
Two things I know is chess and women.
Chess, it has rules, pieces,
rooks, knights, bishops.
They move in predictable patterns.
Somebody wins, somebody loses.
But women, they don't have no rules, man.
They move in unpredictable ways too.
Nobody ever wins or loses
when it comes to women.
You talk about your feelings
until your breath is sucked out your body.
All men are pawns when it comes
to women.
Especially a smart one like Lucy.
She's hard to control.
And you know, the man has got
to be in control.
Like with me.
I come home. When I walk in,
I know my mama has dinner on the table.
All right, so you're still living at home?
Yeah. Yeah.
Of course.
Here's somebody interesting,
Polly St. Clair.
Well, it's a terrific resume, Polly.
Congratulations on the baby.
What baby?
Maybe you should check with me
before you talk.
What baby?
I'd like to talk about
your moot-court experience.
What baby?
Yeah, what baby?
You should do the interviews on your own.
Harry Raskin, Richard Beck.
Interesting prospects for my replacement.
Let's see.
No, it's gotta be a woman.
What a surprise.
I suppose a certain bust size would help.
Maybe some bathing-suit shots?
It will annoy Howard if it's a woman.
- Thank you.
- Tell you what.
All I want is someone
as intelligent as you...
...but a little less tense
and argumentative.
A sort of Katharine Hepburn figure.
You don't deserve Katharine Hepburn.
- Audrey Hepburn.
- Also too good.
Just stay away from the Hepburns.
You forgot a beet.
Beet.
Thank you.
I've got that charity tennis thing tonight.
And I need to know, does this shirt make
me look a bit kind of Bjorn Borg?
Ansel and I got into a huge fight,
and I think we just broke up.
Really?
He wants me to go on a Greenpeace boat.
He thinks I can't embrace life.
Is that the case?
Because I just don't see it.
I just don't see it.
And by the way, how can I embrace him
when he is never here?
Maybe it's me. Maybe the rose-colored
glasses have finally come off.
Okay.
We obviously can't leave you alone
with the stapler.
I'll tell you what. I'll cancel tennis.
They always make me play with Ed Koch.
What can we do to cheer you up?
Nothing. There's no solution.
Good. Good attitude.
I can't help it if I don't like boats.
Surely not all boats.
Yes, all boats.
I don't understand.
What is wrong with me?
At the moment,
huge quantities of alcohol.
I don't know. I just seem
to drive men away.
There's Ansel.
There's Billy from Legal Aid who ran
off with a stripper.
Don't forget Gary from the Peace Corps
who married his trainer.
Gary, yes.
What is wrong with me? I want to know.
You're sort of a man.
- All right?
- I'm good.
So tell me. What's the matter with me?
Well, you can be somewhat intimidating.
You could loosen up a little,
get in touch with your feminine side.
- Okay, that's a good suggestion.
- Perhaps soften your appearance.
Not that I don't love that look,
but you could get dolled up occasionally.
I'm not going to spend hours
fluffing my hair and applying...
...animal-tested makeup to my face...
...just so I can turn myself into some
male fantasy, degrading Kewpie doll.
Unless I, you know, really like the guy
or something.
You see, maybe that's the problem.
You don't like these guys.
You drive them away because you realize,
deep down, they're wrong for you.
They're not wrong for me.
We have all the same political goals
and ideals, all of them.
Which I guess isn't very romantic,
but what can I say?
I'm fine. What can I say?
I'm just not a romantic person.
Never felt that way about anybody.
Nope. No.
No, in high school, Rick Beck took
me parking. You know, parking?
And the whole time I talked
about Nelson Mandela.
Don't know why I did that.
That is hard to say. I certainly would have
found it extremely erotic. Come back.
I'm fine.
I don't know. Maybe I'm
just not good in bed.
Maybe you're not.
I am.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I am really good in bed.
- You might be lousy.
- No, believe me, pal.
You should be so lucky because
the lawyerly exterior...
...don't let that fool you because
inside I am, like, a complete animal.
It's, like, bobcat. You know, it's scary.
- I can see that it might be.
- No. No. Look, I can bend like a pretzel.
I'm serious.
And I'm not talking the straight kind.
I'm talking, like, the twisty kind.
Twisty like the bobcat,
salty type of pretzel.
Because that's what men want, right?
- That is their dream.
- The twisty-bobcat kind of pretzel...
...because that's what you want, and I bet
I could give you a twisty-bobcat pretzel.
Do you want it?
You're a really good listener.
Luce?
Luce?
Are you...? Hello?
Cormac!
Help!
Help!
I'll just get her upstairs.
Think you can make it?
No. No, let's put her somewhere else.
Good.
Good.
Like a doll.
A doll with a sinus problem.
We should put a pillow under her head.
I think that helps.
Good.
Much worse. Interesting.
Do you think we should change
her clothes?
Right. Don't know where that came from.
Morning!
Okay, not so loud.
We didn't...
Last... We didn't...
It was a magical night.
You made sounds I've never heard
a woman make before.
We didn't...
Not physically, but spiritually,
you were the best I've ever had.
Whatever I did or didn't do
or said or didn't say...
...it was all a little mistake.
Well, nothing happened.
That's a relief.
I'm very busy. I have work to do.
You stay there and relax.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Lucy!
Jesus, careful.
There's a June Carver to see you.
- June Carver, June Carver, June Carver.
- She went to Harvard.
Yeah, well, so did I. Now look at me.
Norman. Norman. Norman.
- Norman!
- Sorry.
She didn't have a strong background
in property law.
She's down from Boston.
She only wants five minutes.
Lucy.
Lucy.
This is June Carver.
- Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you.
- You too.
I don't have an appointment,
so feel free to throw me out.
Well, I have security on standby.
- Have a seat, please.
- Thanks.
Did you have Criminal
with Professor Rappaport?
- Oh, my God. I'm still shaking.
- Yeah.
But I have to tell you, Miss Kelson,
you are a legend there.
- Me?
- Editor of the Law Review.
The articles you wrote on
the Richmond case. You're an inspiration.
Well, yeah, I...
I don't have a strong background
in property, but neither did you...
...and look what you've accomplished.
Well, you know, not that much, really.
I just...
And there's this.
I've never met Mr. Wade...
...but in Public Policy magazine
he was interviewed...
...about the challenges
of urban development and he said that...
Is it ridiculous that I'm quoting this?
No, not yet.
"Architecture can shape a community
and turn strangers into neighbors.
The right design for a park
makes people feel secure.
A school building can be functional
and beautiful...
...so kids feel engaged instead
of imprisoned."
When I read that, it made me feel
I'd be working for a cause...
...not just a company.
Okay. You're hired.
You're Mr. Wade.
Someone has to be.
Although, I didn't write that.
- Lucy did.
- No, you did. I remember being shocked.
We've been working together so long
it's hard to remember who did what.
- Sounds like an amazing team.
- George, do you mind...?
I was saying how incredibly presumptuous
it was of me to come waltzing in here...
...but Miss Kelson was nice enough
to see me.
They're calling from
the Zoning Commission, Lucy.
June, why don't we set up
a proper interview for tomorrow.
It's all right. It's all right.
I could finish up with June.
You're not coming to the meeting?
- Have I ever come to the meeting?
- Good point.
- Alrighty.
- Alrighty.
Stupid plant. Do something
with this, will you?
Absolutely. The ficus is fired.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- So tell me...
- Yes.
...first of all, you come from which...?
- Harvard.
I was just wondering, are we still on
for the Mets game tonight?
I love baseball.
So are we still good?
I'm a Red Sox fan, all the way.
A Red Sox fan? Interesting.
You obviously have a rich fantasy life
which is a fabulous plus in this company.
Okay, that means you're a Boston girl,
probably a little bit Irish, Catholic...
...big family, dirty, that kind of thing.
- Exactly.
Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets!
Let's go, Mets!
Strike him out!
So, what did you think of June?
Loved her. Loved her.
Great. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, she smiled obsequiously,
flattered me constantly.
She'd have no problem picking out
an ottoman. Exactly what I'm looking for.
A tad weak on the experience side, but...
We went out for a drink,
talked for an hour.
She's a very clever girl, you know. Sharp.
So you guys went out for a drink and...
She got nowhere to stay at the moment,
so I found her a room at the Grand.
And I invited her to the company outing.
Turns out she's a useful tennis player.
Well, I can swing a racket.
Yes, I know, at my head.
I've experienced it.
But listen, thanks to you
for finding her. Genius.
Oh, God! It's gonna hit us!
Get out of the way. Move!
- Mike, you all right?
- Yeah.
- Take it easy, the season just started.
- Thanks, George.
Next time, go to a Yankees game.
Hey, look, you're on TV.
I don't hear you.
I don't hear you.
Nice!
- Nice one.
- Thank you.
- Three-Iove.
- All right. Cool.
Nice.
Yeah!
Mine, mine, mine! Okay!
Come on!
Lucy! Oh, my God, Lucy, are you okay?
Do I have a concussion?
Ask me something.
- Name all the Supreme Court Justices.
- Thomas, Ginsburg, Scalia, Stevens...
...Kennedy, Rehnquist, Souter, Breyer,
O'Connor. Is that right?
How should I know?
Want some?
Thanks, I really shouldn't.
Okay.
You think she's a natural redhead?
You know, I was gonna give June a lift,
and then Howard offered.
The fact that he liked her is
a big strike against her.
Although I will say she's
an excellent tennis player. Very nice form.
- Fantastically nice form.
- Oh, man.
Incredibly lithe.
What? I thought you liked her too.
No, I jus... I think I just ate too much.
Really? What did you have?
Just a chili dog and some fries
and a soda...
...and a bag of some little girl's
cookies...
...and another chili dog
stuck in there somewhere.
Okay.
Let's try and take your mind off it.
Okay.
Heard from Ansel lately?
I'm sorry.
I've been thinking about this.
You should move on. Forget him.
Plenty of other pebbles on the beach.
The world must be full of men who'd die...
...to be with a compulsive
eater who can't fall in love.
What? I've fallen in love.
- Yeah?
- Yes!
With whom, might I ask?
And no pets.
Billy Westhouse.
Billy who?
Westhouse. I knew him in high school.
Did you tell Billy that you loved him?
Did you say, "Billy, I love you"?
Goodness!
It's not funny.
Sorry.
That last chili dog is really barking.
It's not perfect timing, I must say.
We'll be in the city in 20 minutes.
I don't have 20 seconds!
I feel like I swallowed a cruise missile.
What...? What am I? 5 years old?
- It's only a Volvo.
- Well, people just don't go in Volvos!
- I'll buy you another Volvo.
- No!
That'll be the only thing you'll ever
remember about me.
I'll be the woman who went
on the front seat!
That would be hard to forget.
Okay, I have an idea. See that RV?
- Yes.
- That is our target.
Can you make it?
Therein lies your salvation.
- No.
- Yes, it's an excellent idea.
- It's unclean! I can hold it!
- It's a brain wave. Out of the car!
I can hold it! George, I can hold it!
I'm holding it! I'm fine, I can hold it!
No! No, no, George, I don't want...
I'm not going. I'm holding!
Hi there!
- You all right?
- Yes.
- Okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- You all right?
- I'm good.
- What?
- My ankle. My ankle.
No! No, no! Oh, God! No!
Hi, there!
Oh, God!
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
I'm not insane, but my friend needs to use
a bathroom. It's an emergency.
- I'll give you $100.
- A thousand!
Okay.
Thank you. Very sweet of you.
Thank you.
Clean, clean, clean.
Where are you guys from?
Well, Kentucky originally,
but now this is pretty much home.
Come here, babies.
Hurry!
What kind of mileage do you get
out of this thing? It's an RV, right?
A recreational vehicle?
Traffic's moving.
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it one sec!
Honey, how are you doing?
Are you nearly ready?
Kill me!
Look at that poor jerk.
Yes, poor jerk.
Whoa, Nelly.
George, where's the car?
I'm sure it's been safely towed by now.
Oh, God! George, George, George!
Don't worry, don't worry! In many ways,
it was the perfect end to the day.
Except for those poor children
in the trailer.
They actually looked quite frightened.
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Once it's published in the company
newsletter, there'd be absolutely no point.
All right, I'll call for a lift.
Would you like to have
your nails done?
A Hollywood tan, perhaps?
God, it is such a beautiful city.
And my favorite building of all time.
Look at that.
Nirosta steel, sunburst tower,
gleaming gargoyles...
...all designed by a man called
William Van Alen...
...obsessed with beating
his former partner...
...who was building the
Bank of Manhattan tower at 927 feet.
So Van Alen announced
the Chrysler Building at 925 feet...
...and then surreptitiously assembled
the 180-foot mast inside the tower...
...and only revealed it after
the bank tower had been completed...
...giving Van Alen the tallest building
for three months...
...until of course...
- Until the Empire State Building.
All right, please give me the name
of Van Alen's former partner.
Who is H. Craig Severance?
- I find you annoying.
- Yes, I'm sure you do.
But it is pretty amazing what dreams
and lots of money can do, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
- And you know you're part of that, George.
- Yes, I am.
All you have to do is use your power
for good instead of evil.
If only I would.
Listen...
...I'm very sorry that these last couple
of months have been unbearable for you.
Not at all.
Unbearable would have been bearable.
Then I suppose it's a good thing
that your two weeks are almost up.
This is it.
I'll do the Children's League benefit.
I'll make sure June is set up.
I'll take a pass at your speech
for the groundbreaking...
...and I'll be out of your life forever.
Great.
Super.
- Hi.
- Hey, hey.
- I have tennis elbow from the other day.
- Oh, yes?
- Lucy has tennis forehead. Much worse.
- Oh, no. I still feel terrible about that.
Thank God she looks okay.
Especially with that big benefit
you're all going to tonight.
- What was it again?
- It's a benefit...
...for the New York Children's League.
Lucy makes us give lots of money...
...to help society and get a tax break.
Brilliant.
- Sounds exciting.
- It would be almost impossible...
...to tell you how boring it is.
Largely because it would be too boring.
Well, boring to you might be scintillating
for a girl from Plainview, Wisconsin.
See you later.
What about, if you're not busy...
...a bunch of us are going,
do you want to come and be bored?
I'd love to.
- All right. See you later.
- Okay.
Oh, good. These need to go to Accounting.
- The loan agreements need to be notarized.
- I got it.
- Here's the Zoning Commission reports.
- Now you can start with the appraisals...
Actually,
I don't know how much time I have.
George sort of asked me
to go to the benefit with him tonight.
Great.
I just have to figure out what to wear.
I don't have anything.
- "I don't have anything."
- God, she's nice.
No, they're very good muffins.
They just need more fat.
George, sign these
or we default on five different loans.
- Take care.
- Well, hang on. Hang on.
- I need to go over my speech.
- Sorry. I gotta run.
We'll pick you up at eight
and go through it in the car.
I asked June to come.
Hope that's all right.
Oh, that's dandy, but I don't need a ride.
Thanks.
- Hello, Howard.
- George...
... I just received new estimates
on Island Towers.
Costs are skyrocketing.
It will be cheaper to just knock down
the community center.
What are you talking about?
We only got the job because we said
we'd keep it.
- We said we intended to keep the center.
- No wait. You can't...
This is nonsense.
You can't just decide unilaterally.
- I'm coming over.
- George.
I want to take a nap before the benefit.
It's all very simple.
Why can't we just build the towers
over the center?
Because it will eat away our profits.
There's to be a groundbreaking ceremony
at Coney Island...
... with our friend Assemblyman Perez.
All I need
is one of your charming speeches.
Well, you're not gonna get one.
I need you there.
- I have to consult my schedule.
- No, you won't, George. It's your job.
You're the public face of the company.
They don't want to see me.
I can't for the life of me think why not.
You're magnificent.
Look, whatever we lose on this deal,
I'm in for half.
You'll be in for nothing
at the rate you're going.
Expensive divorces, poolside parties
at the hotel for 1000 people...
...including fireworks
and a performance by Sting.
That was one special night.
It was Wendy the concierge's farewell bash
and a very good party if I say so myself.
Look, I know you don't have a clue,
but the economy is not what it was.
Everything we've got, all of it, could go.
Faster than you can imagine.
We need this built.
You're our closer
and you will help me close this deal...
...or I will fire you
and take all your stock options.
And I can't bear to see you like that,
George.
You will help me close this deal, George,
won't you?
I'm surprised you have to ask.
I wasn't really asking.
- You should have gone with George.
- Well, he asked June.
- Not exclusively. He asked you too.
- He asked me too?
How many women should a man
take to dinner? Maybe in Utah.
- So you're gonna go alone?
- Sure, why not?
Hey, I think it's great.
I was always too scared
to go anywhere alone.
Then I got married.
Now I'll never be alone again.
Check out this situation.
You two kids have fun.
All right.
Howard. Helen, how are you?
Mr. and Mrs. Wade, good evening.
- I hate these things.
- Ridiculous.
Why can't we just give the money
and be done with it?
Yes, that'd be fun.
Who wants a drink?
- I'd love some champagne.
- We don't want anything.
- I'll have a Scotch.
- Great.
I'll be right back
with one of the promotional bottles.
- Wade.
- Trump.
- I hear Kelson finally dumped you.
- Not exactly, no.
We came to a mutual understanding that
she couldn't bear me for another second.
So who's the new chief counsel?
If she's any good,
I'm gonna steal her away.
I doubt it. She seems quite Ioyal to me.
- Let me be the judge of that.
- All right.
I'm not intimidated.
I'll even lead you to her.
She's over there somewhere.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Well, you look... I...
I... You...
- I can't wait to hear your speech.
- Yeah.
No, it's just you look absolutely...
...surprising.
Well, you haven't seen
the whole outfit yet.
You see, ordinarily that would suit you
extremely well, but...
Well, tonight you're...
I'm just...
- Lucy, hey.
- Hi.
- Wow. I love your dress.
- Thank you.
- And you look very beautiful.
- No.
- I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?
- No, no. We were just...
...going over my speech.
Right. Work, work, work.
Howard wants me to revise
the Island Towers proposal...
...now that we're tearing down
the community center.
- I could really use your help with that.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
George, can I please talk to you
for a second?
Hang on. They're about to shoot a man
out of a cannon into a vat of ice cream.
George.
I don't care about Howard.
No community center. I see. Okay.
We do give millions to charities.
So that justifies lying.
Since when is helping people
and telling the truth mutually exclusive?
- You promised me.
- Oh, here we go.
You said you needed me to tell you
when you were being a schmuck.
It's frankly none of your business, is it?
You don't work here anymore!
I cannot believe you won't even try
to be the person you could be.
- This is the person I could be.
- No.
You think you're second-rate
and there's nothing you can do.
And I never believed it until right now.
This minute.
This is the first time in a year
that I really don't like you.
I haven't liked me for longer than that.
And I'm not crazy about you right now.
Why don't you go and be the person
you're supposed to be.
Oh, good. I see the mature part
of the evening has begun.
Oh, buzz off, bozo.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the ice cream is ready.
Here comes the topping.
George, thanks again.
This was a spectacular evening.
I can't wait to tell my family who I met.
Why? Who did you meet?
You.
- What?
- The elevator.
- Evening.
- Evening.
- How's your room, by the way?
- Amazing.
- But I want to pay you back with interest.
- Don't be ridiculous. I don't need interest.
Well, this is me.
So good night.
Yeah, good night.
- I had a wonderful time.
- Good. I'm very glad about that.
So good night.
Yes, good night.
It's all right. I own the hotel.
Your breakfast is complimentary.
Gorgeous.
I know it's weird living in a hotel
but it somehow has a very homey feel.
Would you like something
from the minibar?
Maybe a beer.
Right.
Wow, chess. I love chess.
You know what I love
even more than chess?
Pokemon?
Strip chess.
Yes, that is a very good game.
George?
We need to finish this conversation please...
- Lucy.
- Oh, June. Hi.
- Lucy, hi.
- Wow. Wow. Great slip.
- That's a great dress.
- Oh, you know, same one as before.
All right. Break's over.
I'm gonna capture your bish...
- Hi.
- Hi.
We were just playing a little chess.
And doing some laundry.
Oh, well, that's okay.
'Cause I was just about to go off
and have some sex myself.
I mean, not by myself...
...but with somebody. Somebody else.
Oh, you don't know him.
He's in my apartment.
Yeah, in my bed.
His name is Barry. Yeah.
Barry in my bed. Okay, bye.
That was embarrassing.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What's wrong?
- Thanks for your shoes.
Hold on, lady. Look at me.
What happened?
- Nothing.
- Something happened.
I've known you since Brownies,
I've never seen you cry.
Except when Bush won.
Which Bush?
- Both of them. So maybe you cried twice.
- This is a different George.
I'm sorry.
It's not supposed to be like this.
Maybe it is.
Maybe it's like the philosopher
Sri Yogananda says:
"Only that which is the other,
gives us fully unto ourselves."
Look. I had to fight for Tom.
It was the best thing I ever did.
Really?
Everything okay?
- Not now. Everything is not about you!
- Okay.
Quiet, everyone. Quiet down, please.
Thank you.
I have a little poem I wrote for you, Lucy.
If you could just come up here.
Please.
- You ready for this?
- Rhyme away.
A rolling stone gathers no moss
So
You're leaving
With your antacids and floss
Our hair perhaps we will toss
But we are at a loss
Because you are the world's best boss
Well, that was a very nice speech
you just made...
...and I'm going to really miss everyone
here at Wade.
There are a million memories
I wouldn't trade...
...and if you ever get accused of murder,
you can find me at Legal Aid.
- What was that?
- Well, it was the same thing you just did.
Bye. Bye. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Nice...
- Bye.
- Bye.
I'll really miss
all your comprehensive reports.
Me too. Me too.
Lucy. Thank you so much for everything.
No problem.
Well, good luck with everything.
And I'm sorry about last night.
That was awkward.
- Oh, not at all. Brian was unbelievable.
- I thought it was Barry.
Well, Barry was first, and then
it was Brian, and it was just crowded.
- I almost forgot my stapler.
- Is that...? Oh, God.
- What?
- Never mind.
- No, no. What?
- Well, it's just that technically...
...the stapler belongs to the company.
- That's right.
But... No, you know what? Whatever.
It's... The stapler just goes way back
with me. And I...
Well, no, no. You keep it.
It'll be our little secret.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Great, thank you. Thank you very much.
I guess I have kind of earned it...
...working here 18 hours a day,
seven days a week.
Wow. Guess that makes you a workaholic.
No, actually, those are the hours
when you work with George.
Well, no. I mean,
I can be a workaholic too.
That's why I'm vigilant about separating
my personal and professional life.
Really? Well, I guess that would explain
the late-night meeting in your slip.
- I'm sorry?
- What?
That is absolutely none of your business.
My God. Fine.
How much does a stapler run?
Here, here's $10.
- Ridiculous.
- It's not your stapler.
What's the matter with you?
Give me my stapler.
Look. You didn't pay for it.
- Give me... You have more of these!
- It's not your... Oh, my God.
- No. No.
- All we're missing is the mud.
All right. Enough. Enough. Leave.
- She's hurting me!
- Leave, leave. Off, off.
In here.
You are dead!
- What was that?
- Your girlfriend wouldn't give me my stapler.
- Part of a new office supply strip search.
- Your stapler?
Are you still knocking down
the community center?
Listen.
- I know you're upset about last night.
- Still knocking down the community center?
- I've been trying to call you...
- Still knocking down the community center?
What is wrong with you? Are you
incapable of talking about your own life?
Still knocking down
the community center?
All right. Let me remind you.
You came to the hotel.
I was with June.
We were unusually dressed.
You must... You must have some feelings.
I don't have to listen to this.
You know what, where do you come off?
Where do you come off? Believe it or not,
I didn't take this job to sleep with you.
- I took this job for a cause.
- You are a cause!
You make Gandhi
look like a used-car salesman.
My God. You know what I can't believe?
How easy you are being on yourself.
Why don't we go over this again, okay?
You promised me a community center.
Yes! I promised, I promised, I promised.
I'm sorry.
I can't control the economy.
I can't control my brother.
- I think you'll find a lot of people are!
- I'm human!
None of us can keep up with you.
That's probably why...
...all those other guys bolted.
'Cause you're intolerable!
No one wants to live with a saint.
Saints are boring.
Mr. Wade, your brother wants to see you.
Right.
Hi, Mr. Wong?
Yes, Lucy Kelson.
Yeah, it's been a long time, huh?
I'm back at my parents' house.
It's kind of fun being in my old bedroom
and in the neighb...
Sorry. Can I have two number sixes...
...and a number, a number 12?
Yes, that's for one.
Always for one.
Yes. That's it. No.
You know what...
...just throw in a couple egg rolls
and that would be great.
For years, Coney Island has been
trying to attract this kind of development.
Hopefully, Island Towers
is the start of big things to come.
And now, it is my honor
to introduce to you...
...one of the men who made this
all possible, George Wade.
- You look great.
- Go and earn your money, George.
- Thanks so much.
- Great.
Thank you very much, Assemblyman Perez.
Your mom is teaching today...
...so we'd better grab a bite to eat
and be on our way.
We have some protesting to do
at the community center.
I'm not going.
- What are you talking about?
- I cannot watch...
...another building get knocked down.
Hey. We didn't raise you
to sit on the sidelines.
Ever since you were a little girl,
you fought for what you believed in.
You were on the White House
Enemies list at 5.
Dad, I'm not sitting on the sidelines.
I'm going to work.
What's the point?
The man's not gonna listen to me.
Besides, you know, he said
some things to me that were just so...
True.
Then you change your tactics,
you change your argument.
You don't give up.
We didn't give up on civil rights
or equality for women or fair housing.
Honey.
As long as people can change,
the world can change.
Yeah, but what if people can't change?
Well...
...let me put it this way.
I'm sitting here eating a piece
of cheesecake made entirely of soy.
And I hate it.
But I'm eating it.
I'm going to work. Bye. Good luck.
The law is pretty clear on this.
If the landlord has not kept up
proper maintenance, he cannot evict you.
We will help you, Mrs. Munez.
Let me run and get you some forms
that you can fill out, and we'll get started.
Well, hello.
- Hi.
- You don't remember me, do you?
Polly St. Clair? You interviewed me?
You thought I was having a baby?
Oh, yes. Yes, Polly. Wow.
So you work here now.
- Terrific. How are you?
- Pregnant.
- I'm not falling for that one again.
- No, I'm really pregnant.
- You can congratulate me now.
- Polly, I was not born yesterday.
I'm pregnant!
You want to see the damn sonogram?
Mrs. Munez, we have two other cases...
Hi.
Hi. I'm busy.
Yes.
I need your advice on one last thing...
...and then I promise
you will never hear from me again.
I just delivered the first speech written
entirely by myself since we met...
...and I think I may have blown it,
so I wanted to ask your thoughts.
Okay. Then I will read it to you.
"I'd like to welcome everyone
on this special day.
Island Towers will bring prestige
to the neighborhood...
...and become part
of Brooklyn's renaissance.
And we're very pleased
and proud to be here.
Unfortunately,
there is one fly in the ointment.
You see, I gave my word to someone...
...that we wouldn't knock down
this building behind me.
Normally, and those who know me
or were married to me can attest to this...
...my word wouldn't mean very much.
So why does it this time?
Well, partly because this building
is an architectural gem...
...and deserves to be landmarked.
Partly because people do need a place
to do senior's water ballet and CPR.
Preferably not together.
But mainly because this person,
despite being unusually stubborn...
...and unwilling to compromise
and a very poor dresser, is...
She's...
...rather like the building
she loves so much.
A little rough around the edges,
but when you look closely...
...absolutely beautiful.
And the only one of her kind.
And even though I've said cruel things
and driven her away...
...she's become the voice in my head.
And I can't seem to drown her out.
And I don't want to drown her out.
So we are going to keep
the community center.
Because I gave my word to her...
...and because we gave our word
to the community."
And I didn't sleep with June.
That's not in the speech, that's just me
letting you know that important fact.
What do you think?
I have to get back to work.
Right.
Right, yes, yes, yes. Sorry to disturb.
Congratulations again, Polly.
Aside from the split infinitive
that was somewhere in the middle...
...that speech was actually quite perfect,
wasn't it?
Yeah. I don't know what the hell
you're still doing sitting here.
And I don't even like him.
George!
George, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you and I know
I can be harsh and demanding...
...but I want to try and change
because I believe people can change.
I can change and not be so demanding
and, you know, like, meet you halfway.
I just... I know... Things just...
Once I...
Lucy...
...I am in love with you.
And I'm in love with you.
Oh, I should just mention
that I have resigned...
...and am now poor.
- Good.
When I say poor, I mean we may have to
share a helicopter with another family.
Does that work for you?
As long as I don't have to work for you,
we will be fine.
Excellent.
And now I would very much like
to discuss that whole bobcat-pretzel thing.
Oh, I was just kidding.
I'm allergic to bobcats, actually.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
- But I can do the pretzel.
- That's excellent news.
Hi, Mr. Wong, it's Lucy Kelson.
I need one number 13,
two number sevens...
I can't believe how small this apartment is.
It's shocking.
I need three number eights, no garlic.
It's good your parents went to the movies.
We'd never have squeezed in.
I need one number seven and...
I can walk from one side of this apartment
to the other in six seconds.
- Watch this. One...
- And a number 11, please.
No, actually this is for two.