Uncle John (2015) Movie Script
Matthew 5:17 begins,
"do not think that I came to
destroy the law of the prophets."
I did not come to destroy them,
but to fulfill them.
Because I tell all of you
with certainty
that until heaven and earth
disappear,
not one letter
or one stroke of a letter
will disappear from the law
"until everything
has been accomplished."
Hell... fire.
Those two words...
"Hell fire"...
Came from Jesus's lips directly.
The son of god spoke them,
and there is no
misunderstanding him.
He spoke them as two words...
"Hell fire."
So as to be perfectly
crystal clear on what he means,
he is describing the place,
hell.
But there is a problem
at work today, a mortal problem,
and we are not talking about it.
Jesus spoke those two words...
"Hell fire"...
And nobody
wants to hear about it.
We are comforted by Jesus
the savior, Jesus the healer.
God who sent his only son
down to earth itself
to sacrifice himself for us,
and we feel good
when we repeat those stories.
We fold our hands in thanks
and then move about our lives
as though all is fine,
but we do not want to think
about those actual words.
You can walk this earth
and claim
he is in you all you want,
but you will be judged
on your actions.
Hell is real. It does exist.
Hell fire... simply spoken,
and praise be to god for it.
And if you don't want
to think about that,
you need to be ready.
We are all going to die,
every one of us.
It could be in 80 years.
Could be
right outside those doors.
It does not matter.
We all stand before him
for our judgment.
You need to think about
where you are going to wake up.
Are you ready?
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
You can be seated.
- Going to coffee, yeah?
- What's that?
You headed to coffee?
Well, um...
I was thinking about it,
but I got a couple of things
to do today.
Maybe catch you up
for the afternoon round.
All right.
Might see you later, then, yeah.
Dale!
John.
Yeah. Yeah, good, good.
You?
Yeah, yeah.
Say, uh, I'm gonna be burning
over at the quarry
and stuff today.
And, uh...
Yeah, no, no.
I just don't want
you two worrying
and come
rushing over there again.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, well,
not that much stuff yet,
but you know, I had such a heck
of a time with that big pile
last time that, uh, you know,
I just thought I'd take care
of it today.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I follow, yeah.
Yeah, what do you got?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah,
you could throw it on there,
yeah.
Well, you are not messing
around anymore, are you?
Yeah, well, I'm too old
to mess around anymore.
Just toss on a lot of gas
up front and kick on back.
All right,
we'll get to kicking back.
I won't be a minute.
That log
looks pretty good over there.
Why don't you take a seat,
relax,
and there's these apple
turnovers Mary baked up today.
Why don't you enjoy those?
Good lord, I love that woman.
I apologize, Dale, but I do.
All right, well, go grab a seat.
All right.
- John, hey!
- Yeah.
- You all right?
- Yeah, why?
Your leg, is it bleeding?
What?
Oh, must have caught
myself on something.
You sure? Let's take a look.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll check it out later.
Okay.
And thank Mary for me.
You know what I'm saying?
If I don't feed 'em...
Oh, you don't get a check?
Oh, okay.
You know,
there's someone at home.
- Hey, miss Jenkins.
- Better put that on hold.
You have to call
that 1-800 number on the back.
- I left a note.
- I don't care about that.
I need your I.D. And his I.D.
I left a note.
I don't care about the exits,
okay?
Bye!
2974!
It integrates your muscles
rather than isolates them.
Uhhuh.
Bow fitness workout system
transforms your body's
vulnerabilities into strengths.
Okay.
It's actually surprisingly hard.
What's another one?
All right, try this one.
Hold your arm like this.
Uhhuh.
And do a squat.
Uh, nope.
Yeah, well, I mean,
why don't you buy a gym
membership or something, man?
That's the first thing I did
when Claire and I broke up.
You guys broke up?
- Yeah, before the wedding.
- Hmm.
For about a year.
Yeah, I thought it was gonna
be all party in the USA,
and just ended up
watching a lot of netflix.
- I believe it.
- And porn.
Huh?
Yeah, I was just thinking
about all the old porno
I used to watch.
Like old, actual old porno?
Yeah, vintage stuff.
How old?
I can't remember.
There's so much of it.
Just a blur of flesh?
- Yep.
- Nice.
Yeah.
Anyway, I looked good.
I had the d'Angelo lines.
Yeah, what was that song?
I don't know. I can't remember.
Google it.
Oh, it was "brown sugar"?
I'm pretty sure it wasn't.
No, it was "brown sugar."
- No, trust me on this.
- No, it was "brown sugar."
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, thanks.
Um... as you have undoubtedly
figured out by now,
we've brought on
a new junior producer.
Miss Katelyn Barnes.
Hi.
She comes to us fresh
from New York City.
So make her feel at home.
She's so cute.
She's gonna be working you guys
into the ground soon enough,
so now's your chance
to make friends.
Welcome, Katelyn.
So, Beth, what's the cake?
Real cake?
God damn it.
You know, vegan cake
is not real cake.
Cake needs eggs.
Just keep your voice down.
- Cake needs butter.
- I know.
Gracias. Mm-hmm.
Danke.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
Thanks.
I'm slowly killing myself.
Eat the cake.
Just eat the frosting, then.
- Yeah.
- Better?
Unhunh, worse.
What is this?
What... what's happening here?
I don't... I don't get this.
You know, I'm glad
that you decided to come here.
I mean, um...
I mean, New York is fine,
and it's a fine place to live, but if
you're gonna work there, it's dead.
There's nothing going on there, and
I mean, that's doubly true for L.A.
I mean, if you see something that's
bad, you know it's from New York.
If you see something
that just sucks ass,
you know it's from L.A...
It's been that way for years.
Yeah, I'm really excited
to be here.
Oh, it's good. I mean, there's
gonna be opportunity here.
Frankly, a lot of these folks
that you see here, you know,
they haven't worked out like
I thought they were going to,
but I got... I got a lot
of hope for you.
I got a lot
of confidence in you.
Thank you, thank you.
I'm really excited.
I know, it's great.
Are you moved in and everything?
Do you like where you're
staying?
You like where you moved?
I really like my place.
- Yeah, yeah, good, good.
- The rent's great here, too.
Gonna need a coat.
It gets colder than hell here.
- Right, yeah.
- Colder than New York...
A lot colder.
Yeah, I bought some coats.
Yeah, a big fucking coat.
Yeah.
Mm, boots, too,
because the snow
is just... god damn, it snows.
My farmer the other day.
He's telling me,
got to do this with the margins,
got to do that with...
What the hell
are you talking about?
- Got to be kidding.
- Isn't he 12?
Fellas.
John.
Say, where did you mention Dale
was getting his nutrients now?
Some new formula
that's cheaper or something?
Cheaper? No.
Better, yes.
It's the research
they're pitching, anyway.
I don't know... he's got
some new rep coming by.
Why?
My margins are shit.
I got to do something different.
Thanks, Franny.
Well, bend Dale's ear.
He's deep into something.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.
Afternoon. What's blowing
up your skirt today?
Uh, no, nothing like that.
There is a bit of commotion
this morning, though.
Franny?
Sheriff just got back from up
by the dam there.
They found Dutch Miller's
rowboat spinning around up there
this morning, full of gear,
but no Dutch.
Damn fool probably got drunk
and fell in.
No, not anymore... not
with his new holy roller thing.
The charlatan just probably
skipped town.
Oh, well, look, I don't know.
I don't know about that.
But his old lady
put in her report, too.
Apparently hasn't been home
in three days,
so they're dragging the lake
right now.
Hell, that's...
Well, that's too bad.
He burned down Merlin's barn.
What?
15 years ago.
Yeah, 15 years ago, he got drunk
and burned down Merlin's barn.
Carl, what in the hell
are you talking about?
He burned down
your brother's barn?
Yeah, yeah.
I drove by the other day
to tell him.
Said he was real sorry and all.
Said he saw hell,
and he was real sorry
and all now.
Jesus Christ, Carl,
when will you...
I mean, that's a pretty god
damn big one, don't you think?
Yeah, yeah, a big one.
Well, I know he was talking
to damn near everyone.
Surprised you
didn't know that one.
Well, I heard some of it.
I mean,
but not the whole god damn barn.
Ah, he was out to ray Reynolds
about the money
he stole from him.
Just the other night,
he was down in the bar
pulling damn near everyone aside
on a real mission, apparently.
He come out to see you, John?
No.
No, I haven't, uh...
I haven't talked to Dutch
in years now.
Well, I imagine he will be
or would be or would have been.
Oh, you know.
Oh, you know,
all the stories with...
Well, you know.
People always said
he was with Dede, you know?
- You know.
- Yeah, well, I...
I heard plenty.
Most of that,
just not about the barn.
Danny, you know,
ain't none too happy
about these Dutch confessions.
He, uh, hasn't seen the light
or whatever like his brother,
you know?
Danny maybe killed Dutch
himself, huh... to shut him up?
- No.
- That right, Ace?
No, I'm just...
I'm just saying.
At least he didn't burn down
your barn.
God damn it, Carl, you...
Jesus.
And, um... and so...
So if I just have something
that he can tug on with.
If he's acting aggressively,
we'll just... he'll just
take it out on the tugging.
You know, when I look
in his eyes in those moments,
his eyes are not
the "I want to kill you"
sort of eyes of a creature
that's trying to hurt you.
His eyes are sort of
in the kind of like...
- Hi. Oh, fuck.
- Shit.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, man, no.
- Hey, flip that shit over, man.
- That's my bad.
- There you go.
- Ooh, that's a lot of coffee.
It's okay, it's my bad. Fuck.
Do you have paper towels?
Here you go.
That should be good.
Thanks a lot, Teddy.
- I got this.
- Perfect.
All right, yep.
That's all we need is that.
- Here, take a little bit more.
- Yeah, maybe.
Time is of the essence here.
- Okay, I got this.
- There you go.
Here, you got that end?
I'll be the skewers.
Go for it, yeah.
Oh, yeah, got to double it.
Triple it!
Yeah. Yo, hustle.
- This is enough.
- No, no, no, no.
- This is good.
- This is not nearly enough.
Need more, Mike.
Got to have it.
I'm proud of you. Keep going.
He came to work really high,
so I have to fuck with him.
- That's mean.
- I don't know about mean, but...
I'm moving, man.
Okay.
- Katelyn, right?
- Uh, just Kate.
Okay.
We got to be nearing the end
here, right, man?
- Yeah!
- That's about it?
Let go, we're done.
All right, that should do it.
I think so.
Well done, sir.
Thank you very much.
- Yeah, I do what I can.
- Just save that for later.
- That's a lot of paper.
- Yeah, a lot of paper.
We'll maybe use it next time.
Statue.
Put it in the spill box.
Yeah, put it in the spill box.
Thanks. Your big environment.
- I'll let you guys clean up.
- Oh, sorry.
What's up?
I was just stopping by to let
you know I'm taking over the...
The yogurt ninja shop.
Quicker.
- Got that?
- I'm the quicker.
You are quick on your heels.
Um, and I wanted to apologize
for the barrage of e-mails
that are headed your way.
Yeah.
So, I'm gonna send you one
with the latest details, then.
- Okay.
- I hope your computer's okay.
- I'll be fine, thanks.
- Nice to meet you, Ben.
Good to meet you.
See you, Katelyn.
Come here, tiger!
Here, boy! Here, boy!
Come here!
You don't like me anymore.
- Hey, there.
- Hello, dear.
- How are you?
- Good, good.
Uh-oh, look what you got?
Oh, yeah, just got one
acting up in the basement.
Coffee?
- No, no, thanks.
- You sure?
Yeah, yeah.
I got to get going in a sec.
Everything else been
going all right, though?
Is Ben planning
on coming up real soon?
Yeah, well, you know,
I don't know.
Nothing planned.
I talked to him the other day.
It seems like everything's
going real good.
Great.
Still does that computer stuff
down there?
Yeah, he's doing
some commercials and stuff.
I seen a couple
on TV the other day.
Well, it sounds neat.
Yeah, yeah, he's doing...
Doing okay in it.
He's doing well.
Oh.
Say, how's your back?
Dale said it looked like you got
cut up pretty good on something.
Yeah? Oh, no, no.
I got a couple scratches.
I took a bit of a tumble getting
some of the bushes up there.
A tumble? What kind of tumble?
You okay?
Well, you know, it wasn't -
wasn't really a tumble.
- It was kind of...
- Geez, John.
You know we're nearly always
around over here
if you need anything.
You can pretend
you don't want these
and make a fuss if you like,
but I'm gonna make you, anyways.
Hey, Danny.
All right.
Hey, uh...
I'm sorry to hear
about your brother.
You... you heard any news?
Well, all right, bud.
Uh, listen, I'll, uh...
I'll... I'll just let you be.
Sheriff seems to think
he got drunk and just fell in.
They've been dragging that
god damn lake all afternoon.
No body yet.
Yeah.
I heard.
I doubt that, though.
No way Dutch drowns in there.
Well, let's hope not.
They're just, you know,
doing what they can.
You know, maybe, uh...
Maybe he just took off
for a bit, you know.
Dodging somebody or something?
Yeah.
Plenty of reason for that,
lately.
I've never seen a guy
so upset in my entire life.
That vision or whatever
just scared the shit out of him.
Yeah, I know.
I heard about that.
You know, he had quite a bit
to say to a few people
in particular.
Did he come see
you the other evening?
I haven't talked to Dutch in...
In a long time.
To be honest, you know,
there's a lot of people in town
have been pretty worried about
him for the last few weeks.
Well...
Like I said, I'll, uh...
I'll just let you be.
You know, I'm sitting here
because this is
where they found his truck.
So, I figure,
this is where he bought it.
And they say from time to time
that the killer
will come on back to the scene
of the crime, you know.
Oh... yeah.
So, the past few evenings,
I've just been sitting here
having a few smokes
and seeing who drives by.
Well, pretty...
Pretty busy road, Danny,
you know?
You must have seen a lot
of people passing by.
Oh, yeah, quite a few.
Oh, boy. More changes?
Yes, correct, correct.
- Are you filling him in?
- Yeah.
All right, look. I'm... I'm leaving
...Leaving to my car right now.
Where am I meeting you?
No, no, no, no. Just text me.
No, just... just text me.
I'm not writing it down.
Hey, listen.
I got a dinner.
I'll be home later.
You post that.
Call you when I get home.
Yeah, sure.
Well, that guy is, um...
What are the changes?
Uh... headband.
Huh?
The yogurt cup
is getting a headband.
- Cool.
- Totally cool.
All right,
I'll get us some dinner.
Wow.
- Hey.
- This looks great, thank you.
Yeah, of course.
I hope beer's okay.
Yes, of course.
Well?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
These are cute.
I know, right?
How about this?
Did you know kumquats are served
during Chinese spring festival?
Uhhuh.
Um, did you know that in winter,
most parts of China
are quite cold?
It doesn't say that.
It does.
That's a true fact.
Wow, well...
Now you know.
Now you know.
Uh... looks like there's just one
of those.
Do you want it?
Oh, no, I can't do raw shrimp.
It's okay. It's not.
It's not?
If it was raw, it'd be blue.
Oh, god, you're right.
I'm and idiot.
Uh... well, do you want it?
- No, you have it.
- You ever had it?
Yeah.
It seems like you're lying.
- I always thought it was raw.
- Well, you should have it.
- No.
- Have it.
- No.
- It's great.
Okay.
Graceful.
Yeah, I'm just gonna do that.
What do you think?
Mm.
Oh.
Mm.
Kate.
Kate.
Shit.
Uh, it's posted.
It's in right now.
All right,
let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's.
This is me.
Well, that sucked,
but you were great. Thanks.
Yeah, the failing is mutual.
The feeling... the feeling
and the failing,
they're both mutual.
Um... do you think
this would fit?
Oh, no. Don't worry about it.
I got to keep my girlish figure,
but, uh, you just get
a good night's...
Uh... you know.
Good night.
You, too. Get home safe.
All right, I will. Thanks.
So, they...
They bring the guy in,
and they don't know anything
about him.
And they should ask
for his I.D.,
and they look
through everything.
And then finally they look
through his motorcycle.
Guy looked like some kind
of a criminal.
I don't know...
Just, you know, you just
can tell when you look
at some of these guys like that.
Just... morning there, fellas.
- Hey.
- Hey, there, John.
We're just talking
about the latest.
- What's that?
- A guy they picked up yesterday
over at the campground
in sauk, the biker guy?
They're pretty sure he's got
everything to do with Dutch missing.
What... what's that now?
- Geez, John.
- What?
You look like hell.
I do?
Yesterday afternoon,
they had some kind
of a scuffle over there.
And once the cops got him in,
turns out that he's got some
heavy history with Dutch
over a bunch of money, I think.
- Well, who he is?
- Some biker type from up north.
Not a real gentle soul,
from what I gather.
You know,
tattooed up all over the place,
- one on the neck.
- Ooh!
Apparently, he had something
like five grand in cash
locked up in his chopper.
Five grand?
Damn.
That's what I hear, anyway.
Well, what are they saying
about he and Dutch?
- Well, I mean, it's...
- He is a person of interest.
Coffee?
Yeah, coffee, yeah, thanks,
Franny.
Anyway, he's a suspect.
Sounds like a no-brainer,
though, I mean.
You know, speaking of...
Speaking of harsh souls,
I'll never understand why
that woman dislikes me so much.
Maybe you should try tipping
her something one of these days.
- I tip.
- More than nickels, I'm saying.
Every day...
I'm here every god damn day,
probably since she
was wetting her pants.
Okay, look,
everything we've got so far
is boring crap, okay?
Now, I don't mind that every now and
then we're gonna put out some crap.
Everybody does, but let's make
it interesting at least.
I'd rather be interesting
and boring.
If it's crap, let's make
it interesting crap, okay?
We're gonna
role play like we're a bunch
of fucking idiots, all right?
For whatever reason,
we've got some kind
of impaired cognitive function.
Now, what would appeal to us?
What do you got?
Somebody hit a single.
John?
Verne, how are you?
Can't complain.
You got a minute?
Sure, of course.
Can I get you a beer
or something, or...?
Yeah, close enough, sure.
How's Laura?
She just retired, yeah?
Yeah... bored.
Yeah.
What you got there?
Oh, those are for the Maitlands.
They're doing some remodeling
and stuff over there.
Jake Maitland?
Yeah, Jake.
Hmm, funny.
What's that?
I'll just cut to the chase here.
Are you up to speed on
all this Dutch Miller business?
Oh, yeah. I believe so.
- Strange one, huh?
- That it is.
You know, we're
dragging the lake over there.
Yeah, over by that dam
and stuff, right?
Nothing yet there,
but a couple days back,
we get a call over to smoky's
campground over in Sauk.
Pick up this rough-looking
fellow from somewhere up north.
Turns out, he and Dutch had
some big problems in the past.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Thought we had something there.
Turns out it was a dead end.
For Dutch, anyway.
Guy's got a bunch of cash
on him, so he's up to something,
but god only knows.
Anyways, in the midst
of all that,
as soon as we let him go,
Danny Miller got to drinking.
He pays a visit
over to the campground himself.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
They got into it pretty good.
Danny tagged him one on the jaw,
put him in the hospital.
- Aw, geez Louise.
- Yeah.
We're holding Danny there
right now, but not for long.
Oh, no?
Can't get a word
out of either one of them.
If this is their regard
for their worst enemy,
here's the police.
Oh, geez, I see.
Yeah.
So, that's that.
I wanted to come by, though,
and give you a head's up.
- Head's up?
- Yeah.
When we had Danny
in the squad car,
he was going on about how he
thinks Dutch has been murdered.
- That right?
- I don't know.
He certainly
has himself convinced,
but somehow or another...
He's naming you on it,
too, John.
Me?
Huh.
And how's that?
No idea.
It's not just you.
It's a whole laundry list
of suspects.
Ray Reynolds,
Jake Maitland, old don.
- Old don?
- Yeah.
In fact, we had to go over
to don's place the other day.
He thought he saw Danny
poking around in his barn.
No kidding?
It all doesn't make much sense
to me, so I'm not trying to.
I talked to him already and
warned him about Danny, as well.
They all just seemed just as
confused.
I'll bet.
Yeah, he was going on and on
about how Dutch came over a week
or so ago and started to get
all high and mighty on him.
You mind if I tend to something
over here for a minute?
No, no, no, go right ahead.
Yeah, I guess Dutch
and him almost came to blows.
- No kidding.
- Yeah.
Dutch came over and tried
to apologize and then asked him
to repent or something.
Got real intense, I guess.
I guess his power of prayer
didn't stop his bullying,
though.
What was it he did for you?
He just, you know, helped out.
It was a favor to Dede, mostly.
Oh, right.
Right.
They were an item there
for a while, weren't they?
Right before her accident.
Yeah, that was a tough time.
Terrible thing.
Mm, ugh. Excuse me.
What, you're kidding me... you've never
seen "trains, planes & automobiles"?
- No.
- "Uncle buck"?
- Nope.
- Oh.
You are missing
some amazing, freeze frame,
like, John candy smiles.
Like... that kind of thing.
I don't do him very well.
My mom used to love that guy.
- She doesn't anymore?
- Nah.
Why not?
Well, she passed away.
- Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, that's okay.
She... well,
it was a really long time ago.
Well, how old were you?
Uh, I was 11.
Actu... no, I was 10.
She was in an accident.
So your dad raised you, then?
He was supposed to.
I, uh, my...
At the time of the accident,
I was staying
at my uncle's house,
and my dad said that he was
gonna come and get me.
And then he just never
really showed, which is...
Um, but they weren't together
at the time, and...
It's okay, I guess he split
tow... split town or something.
But I didn't really want
him to come get me, anyway.
Sorry.
That got really personal.
No, no.
I'm fine, thank you.
Happy.
Well, I mean, I just wanted to
take you out and cheer you up.
No, it was nothing.
Maybe, I don't know...
I don't think... I don't think
Dex likes me very much.
What do you think?
I mean, he's always
claiming something's wrong,
but I don't know.
Everything seems fine to me,
and even when things are going
great, he seems pissed off.
Does he do that a lot?
Man, I've never met a person
who's so in love with drama.
And his ideas are terrible.
I mean, they're really awful.
He's hairless.
- What?
- You never noticed that before?
Yeah, uh, apparently, uh,
his wife told Teddy
the whole thing
at last year's Christmas party.
Had one too many nogs
or something.
Anyway, yeah, so,
he'll stand like in the middle
of the bathroom,
and I'm sure stark naked
like the Da Vinci guy.
And then she takes a razor
and shaves him from the neck
to the toe.
Oh, that's disgusting.
It's a nice image if you picture
the whole thing in your head,
which I'd like
you to do right now.
- Yeah, thank you, thank you.
- Yeah? You got it?
- No, I...
- So, anyway, that...
That's not leaving anytime soon.
Well, anyway, that's the bozo
that you're all worked up about,
so maybe picture that next time
he's giving you the business.
Just picture him
sliding around on his own pubes
in the middle of the bathroom...
Sorry.
That's gross, I know.
So, why'd you end up
moving here?
Uh... I... I had to get
out of New York.
- Run out of town?
- Yes, it's dangerous.
Um, no, I was in a... I was
in a relationship with a guy,
and it didn't work out
and it was a bad breakup.
And... I'm young, right?
I'm fun.
I don't want to be anything too
serious or now, anyway, so...
He was older, too.
Ah, how much older?
Like, salt and pepper older.
Ooh, I love it.
And I worked with him, too.
That was the biggest mistake.
- Everything good?
- Yeah.
Setting an alarm clock
or something?
No, I'm sorry.
That's cool, thanks.
Just busting your chops.
- Busting my chops?
- Mm-hmm.
All right.
Focus.
Um... you know any jokes?
Hmm, no.
Oh, come on.
You don't know any jokes?
- Nope.
- No, like, a joke?
- Okay, here's one for you.
- Okay.
So, I went to the doctor
recently.
He said, "Ben,
you have to stop masturbating."
And I said, "why?"
And he said, "because I'm trying
to examine you."
So, that's kind of gross.
I didn't make that one up.
I shouldn't be...
I should tell you.
But you can just picture me...
Well, don't.
- Wow.
- I don't have any clean jokes.
Just dirty ones?
- Just dirty ones.
- Wow.
I actually recently
got over a breakup myself.
I mean, you know,
about six months ago, but...
So it wasn't that recent, but it
was a really long relationship.
- How long are we talking about?
- About five years.
- That's long.
- That's a long time.
- That's a long one.
- Yeah, and she was awful to me.
- It was a bad breakup?
- It was a bad breakup.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me, ooh.
- You okay?
- Good beer, yeah.
All right, well...
- Well, how about now?
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Like, am I dating?
- Yeah.
- Mm, kind of.
Well, I mean...
No.
And do you want to?
Well, I mean, you know,
I wouldn't be adverse to it.
Okay, what are you looking for?
Like, you know,
chicks with dicks.
No, no.
Ladies wearing, like, rare furs.
You know, drunk chicks.
Drunk chicks?
Well, we're in a bar, so...
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, it shouldn't be hard.
No, I'm kidding.
Like her?
Her, the, uh...
One in the neon Aztec tee?
Yeah.
I'm just saying,
Ben, if you want,
I can probably
get you laid tonight.
Hmm... no, I'm good.
- You're good?
- Mm-hmm.
You don't want
to get laid tonight?
Well, you know, I'm...
I'm really tired.
You done?
- Almost.
- Finish her up.
Thanks.
Okay.
Welcome to my humble adobe.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
You want something to drink?
Sure, that'd be good.
- Wine?
- Yeah, why not?
You don't have to open
a new bottle or anything.
No, it's cool.
My roommate opened one,
like, a month ago,
so we are all good.
All right.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Got it?
- Yeah.
- Here we go.
- All righty.
- Whoa.
- Well, you got to follow it.
Chase the snake, man.
Yes. Bob when I weave.
Yeah.
It's a test.
What was the test?
Just to see what you're made of.
You got to be quick
on your feet.
Yeah.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
You usually do...
I don't know how.
Just drink it.
I feel like we're
at a square dance.
Yeah.
It's a hoedown.
It's a hoedown.
It's a hoedown.
- But you have to curtsy first.
- All right.
Curtsy.
- Whoa.
- That was a trick.
Oh
I gotcha.
Yeah, do you like my apartment?
Yeah, it's nice.
- It's got nice stuff.
- Thanks.
It's all, like, found items.
- Oh.
- Stuff I found.
Like, I don't like to buy
anything 'cause I don't want to,
like, contribute to,
like, you know,
just like sweat shops and stuff.
Yeah.
Well, this old dog
learned a new trick.
Our next couple
is from sunny Tempe, Arizona.
He also likes to keep his eye
on the prize.
Uh, dude, you okay?
Okay.
Morning, Vivian.
Hi, John.
You doing okay?
- I'm fine.
- Good.
That a way.
Fellas, what's going
on this fine day?
- Hiya, John.
- John.
Yeah,
Danny's out of jail already.
He's sitting right over there.
All right, all right, Carl.
You don't say.
Jesus.
You fellas are like a bunch
of 13-year-old girls.
How do you suppose
he got that black eye there?
Oh, come on, come on.
What else is going on?
Carl, what's going on
down at the river?
Anything biting these days? No.
Nope, not this week.
You throwing worms right now?
Yep, fat ones.
Don't throw worms right now.
They'll never bite on worms
right now.
- Got a bunch of worms.
- Yeah, well,
you don't need to use them
just because you got them.
Carl, this man knows everything
about fish biting.
- And worms.
- And worms.
Hey, Ben. Ben.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
Are you feeling better?
What do you mean?
Just, you seemed a little
out of it today.
No, I'm fine.
Good.
So, it went well last night?
Yeah, it went fine.
You want to return
the favor tonight?
What do you mean?
Get a drink.
Well, I have a date
with a bubble bath.
Oh.
Come on.
- Uh...
- Just one drink, I swear.
- All right.
- Yeah?
Yep. First round's on you.
- All right, that's fair.
- Second round's on you.
How about the third round?
- You.
- Okay, fine.
Okay, so, you see any prospects?
Not really.
All right, what about type?
You got a type?
Well, my ex was huge,
and he was built like a viking.
Cool.
You know, I always like
to date someone crafty.
Crafty?
Yeah, like, someone who works
with his hands, you know? Okay.
Like a carpenter.
- Yeah, like a carpenter.
- My uncle's a carpenter.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh.
Wait, the one that raised you?
The same.
So, can you do it?
What, set you up with my uncle?
No, can you carpentry?
Can you do it? Can I carpentry?
- Can you carpentry?
- I can carpentry a little bit.
I can carpentry a bit.
Uh, you know, hung around
the workshop a lot growing up.
I think we found your man.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, buddy! Wake up.
- Shh.
- You want a date?
She's all right.
You want another one? You sure?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, why the hell not?
- Yeah, I can have another.
Monsieur?
Can we do two more, please?
What's your name, by the way?
Adam.
Adam? How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Thank you.
Good.
What a guy.
That guy's big.
He could be a viking.
His arms are bigger
than my thighs.
And I have big thighs.
I think it's run by
the Korean mafia. I'm not sure.
- Did you ever do that?
- What?
Sing karaoke.
No, actually,
I've never done that before.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Huh, well,
we'll do a duet or something.
- Yeah, I could do it.
- Okay.
Anyway, sorry that was kind
of a bust.
No, it's all right. You're fun.
- I'm sorry.
- I can't, I'm sorry.
No, I know, I know.
No, I... I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
You know what?
I can't 'cause...
It's okay, I didn't have dinner,
and I had a couple of drinks.
All right, miss dawn.
I think we're in good shape
here.
Oh! Oh, well, that's...
Um, this pie will be done
in just a bit
if you feel like staying
for a piece.
Oh, no, thanks.
I had a heck of a breakfast.
And I got to make another stop
this morning.
But I have to come back tomorrow
and finish up here, though,
so why don't I take a rain check
until then?
You bet. It's a date.
9:00 A.M. work for you?
See you then.
Okey dokey.
I mean, you guys are amazing.
Basically, it's just not...
It's just not...
No worries.
I... I totally get it.
Sometimes they don't know
what's best for them.
Exactly right.
That's exactly right.
But we want to make sure
that they're happy.
You remember what I said
before we started this job.
Morning, nights, weekends.
We're here for you, anytime.
That's the truth,
that's our job.
- Thanks so much.
- That's right.
- Thanks so much.
- Yeah, of course.
So, we'll make those changes
and shoot you a new posting
as soon as we can.
Okay, talk to you guys soon.
- Okay, see you guys.
- All right, have a good weekend.
- Bye.
- Bye. - See you guys.
Mm!
How good was that?
Hey, buddy.
Thanks for coming in.
Uh, listen, I got to run.
Um, you let me know
when everything's good?
Buddy.
Okay, let me show you
what you're doing.
Hey. Shit.
This is exactly what I
didn't want to have happen.
Um... I'm sorry
that I made it weird last night.
- It's fine.
- No, no, no, it's not.
I'm really sorry, okay?
Uh, I know that you...
You don't want to date anybody
that you work with,
and I'm not...
You know, basically, I'm not
saying that if you didn't
have that rule that I'd be
somebody, um,
that you would, uh...
You know?
I... I just think
that we're friends,
you know, and it's good.
- Right?
- Yeah, we're good.
Okay. Hug it out?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Friends?
- Of course.
Good.
- No more headbands.
- Ah.
What? Client's client hates it.
Mm, thank you.
Ugh, this coffee is really weak.
Where's the good coffee
in this city?
Huh? Coffee?
Yeah, where's the good coffee
in this city?
Uh, there's actually a lot.
Give me about 15 minutes,
and I'll show you.
- Wait, you only need 15 minutes?
- Mm-hmm.
These changes are not
that bad, actually.
Oh, my god, you're the best.
I could use
a good doughnut, too.
Well, now, that... there are
some good ones around here,
but I'm pretty partial
to the ones I grew up with.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
What's your go-to?
Well, as a kid, I would always
go for the sweeter ones,
but now that I'm a mature adult,
I get an old-fashioned.
They're famous
for their caramel, though.
- Let's go get some.
- Huh?
Uh, okay.
They're 21/2 hours away, though.
Let's go after this.
I'll drive.
Hmm.
I'm sorry,
you probably have plans already.
No.
I don't, actually.
Uh... yeah, what the hell?
Yeah, really?
- Yeah.
- Exciting.
I mean, like,
I bought it already grown.
- Oh, yeah.
- It's like a little
like seedling or whatever, so...
I had fresh basil
for a few weeks,
and then I just kind of forgot
to water it.
- Oh, really? Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, that sounds like you
had a good run.
Oh, I need a...
I got to get a...
Got to get a new blade
for that Jigsaw.
Got to remember to do that.
We I'm with a friend,
co-worker,
and we're driving up,
just sort of impromptu.
Uh, we're actually
kind of close,
so I hope you get this,
and yeah.
Just give me a buzz. Otherwise,
we'll just see you soon.
Okay, bye.
She's still the best.
She's very exotic looking, Ben.
Oh, yeah.
Uh... thanks, Mrs. Thompson.
- Ben?
- Hey!
Did you get my message?
Message?
Yeah, ah.
Surprise.
Well, hello there.
Hi, I'm Kate.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
Yeah, I tried calling a couple
of times. Sorry.
Oh, come on now. Give me a hug.
Hey, we're gonna run
over to Clark's in a minute...
Grab some steaks and beers.
You want to grill out tonight?
Sure, sure.
And got in touch with Mary
on the way up, too.
She wants to come over.
You'd be in hot water
if you didn't.
Yep.
So, does your...
Your new place have a grill?
Yeah, got a little back deck
and everything.
- It's nice.
- You like it?
Yeah, I love it.
How about you, Kate?
Does it need a woman's touch?
Um... actually,
I've never seen it.
Yeah, we work together.
So, she just moved to New York.
She just moved from New York
to Chicago.
Oh, great.
They buy the cows
when they're three days old,
- put them in there.
- Okay.
And then Mary has to nurse them
with, like, a little formula.
Those blue buckets are
what the formula's mixed up in.
And after they've been weaned...
Look at that cow chasing
that cat.
Can I pet them?
Sure.
These guys are kind
of like adolescents, so...
- In the rebellious stage?
- They're rebellious.
They sneak out. Right?
Whoa, you are aggressive.
Ooh.
And then they move them
into this pen right here.
Number five is not really
into this.
Is he?
He's looking a little
suspicious.
He's still pissed at me 'cause
I beat him in checkers.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, bubba.
- I love how they stand up.
- Oh, my god.
You can pet him.
They like to lick.
And this guy I call crazy eyes.
- Crazy eyes?
- Yeah.
He looks like a cow version
of, like, Peter Falk.
I think they're just friends,
mare.
- What?
- John.
I know you don't believe that.
What?
Those two are already an item,
or they're on their way.
I only know what I'm told, mare.
And I only know what I see.
Hiya, John.
Danny Miller?
Oh!
Well, I thought that was Ben.
How are you, buddy?
Good, you?
Good.
Shoot, you know what?
Let me pull off the road
and do this proper.
- It's been a while.
- It has.
- How you been?
- Great.
- This is Kate.
- Hi.
Hi, Kate, nice to meet you.
I'm Danny.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- So, what's up, man?
- What's new?
- Well, you know,
it's been a rough couple of
weeks with all this Dutch stuff.
Dutch stuff? What's going on?
Well, he's been missing.
I'm surprised your uncle there
didn't say anything.
Well, they just got here.
I haven't caught them up
on the latest.
- He's my brother.
- Oh, no.
So what happened?
Well, actually, I was just
caught up on the latest,
and, uh,
I guess they've been digging
around a lot
in the mud down there
by the lake where Dutch used
to keep his rowboat.
Seems promising,
as far as evidence goes.
Not too promising
as far as an outcome for Dutch.
- Oh, god.
- Sorry, Danny.
That's horrible.
Thanks, guys.
It has been difficult.
I will say that.
Yeah, we've been
pretty worried about him.
Keeping good thoughts, though.
Yeah.
Can I get you a drink,
Danny, or something?
Coffee or a beer or something?
Well, I mean,
it's about that time.
That sounds great, John.
Sure.
How about you two?
Yeah, sounds good.
Check this out.
This is really cool.
You seem all jammed up
in here, bud.
You really should think about
moving out to one of your barns.
Wow, you made this?
Yep.
I rent out the barns.
So you don't do any farming?
Well, you know, when I was
a kid, my folks owned a farm.
And I couldn't quite
make it work,
so I rent out the barns
and stuff.
Here you go, Danny.
Thanks, John.
- Hey, John?
- Yeah?
Did my brother
ever come and see you?
You already asked me that,
Danny.
I... I told you, I haven't
seen him in quite a while.
Yeah, I know, it's just...
I know that he was beating
himself up
and wanted to come talk to you
about that last night
he spent with Dede.
I know that I wasn't ready
for it when he told me.
I just...
I never thought that she
would do that to herself.
I guess that she was feeling
suffocated by being a mom?
She begged him to leave
with her.
They were pretty deep
in the drink up there,
and he said
that he wasn't leaving,
so she just jumped.
You know what, bud?
I really don't want
to discuss it.
Hey, you two, how about
getting dinner started?
There's some of Mary's corn
in that bag there.
I'm on it.
All right.
This is really difficult. Okay.
I'll show you how it's done.
Okay, all right,
so you just start at the top.
Pull it towards you
like you're shucking corn.
Wow.
This one's for you.
I never knew Dede was a redhead.
Shucks, you're good.
Just throw those everywhere.
Go that way.
And then once you get to the
silks, just pull all those off.
I never remember
seeing her with red hair.
Oh, yeah, well, sometimes.
I remember her as a blonde,
mainly.
Yeah, me, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, when Dutch
and her were going strong,
she was a blonde.
He loved his blondes.
Hey, Ben, it's gonna take me
a minute to get these together.
Do me a favor and get the grill
started for me.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm trusting you with these.
- Don't let me down.
- Okay.
Oh, shoot.
Don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that.
You know, it might be easier if
you peel them out on the deck.
Yeah, agreed.
Now, that's what I'm talking
about.
Would you look at that?
That is how I remember her.
You ever seen Ben's mom before?
No.
No, she's so pretty.
Yes, she was.
She was in the military?
Yeah, the army for a bit.
She was a tough one,
wasn't she, John?
- Yeah, she could be.
- Hmm.
Is that your dad?
Yeah.
Uh, listen, Ben's probably
gonna be needing this.
Could you take this out for me?
Yeah, of course.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
That Dede
was a good-looking woman.
Yeah, do me a favor and put
that back where you found it.
I mean, you're done
looking at it, right, pal?
Sure thing, boss.
I mean, you know me, Danny.
I like things
a certain way, you know.
Hmm.
You know, John, I been
thinking, I'm gonna go ahead
and start making
funeral arrangements for Dutch.
Well, that's a little premature
don't you think, Danny?
But if you think
it's the right thing to do.
Do you, John?
Well, I just don't think
he's coming back.
Well...
If you think
it's the thing to do, Danny,
then I'd start
by talking to pastor bill.
Maybe for yourself, even.
Get some help.
And put that back on the wall,
like I asked.
All right, pal?
Ta-da!
- How we doing?
- We're close.
A couple minutes.
Good, looking good.
Is this all right?
Oh, look at that.
Look at that. Perfect, perfect.
That's done.
Where you going, Dan?
Where's he off to?
I don't know.
He said he had a shift
starting soon or something.
- Huh.
- It's all right.
Uh, Katie, could you
hand me some corn there?
Sure.
I'll take this one here.
Nice one, huh?
We're gonna make you breakfast
in the morning, okay?
So don't try anything.
Oh, not a chance, buddy.
I don't have the time.
I got to be up and out early.
Got to get some supplies
and head to an install.
Till when?
- Probably 1:00 or 2:00.
- Oh.
All right.
Well, I think I'm gonna head in.
Do you mind if I take a shower?
Of course not.
You'll find everything
you need in the shower upstairs.
There's fresh towels
in the closet in the hallway.
Perfect, thank you.
It's great meeting you.
You, too, dear.
Is there a certain time you
want to leave in the morning?
No, just whenever we're up.
Okay. Good night.
- Night.
- Night.
So, how's business?
Been good.
Steady.
You?
Ah, same old.
What you working on?
Commercials.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
For?
At the moment, yogurt.
Oh, that sounds cool.
Yeah, it's not really
that cool, but it's fun.
Mm, okay.
You're getting paid, anyway.
Yeah, I guess.
I like Kate.
Yeah, she's really cool.
You guys are...
No.
- Really?
- No.
- Huh.
- Not my choice.
Oh.
Just friends, huh?
Just friends.
You, uh, talk to Rachel anymore?
No.
Uh... no, I don't.
But you're happy?
Yeah, I'm happy.
Good.
I'll, uh, get up
and say good-bye in the morning.
Uh...
Night.
Hey, do me a favor.
Hit the hallway light
when you cash in, all right?
Yep.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Water?
Can't sleep?
I was having some trouble.
Um...
You okay?
Yeah.
That's a shitload of stairs.
Shh, shh, shh.
Yeah, I know.
Just give me a second, okay?
Okay.
No.
Fuck it.
Shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh.
Oh, god.
Shh.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
I forgot to turn the light out.
Okay.
Let's turn it off.
Okay.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Hi, there.
Hi, morning.
Do you have any foil?
Uh, yeah, second drawer
on the left.
Your coffee's over there.
I figured you put it
in the travel mug?
Every day.
Did he take off already?
Yep.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Looking pretty good here.
I think you're all set.
Fabulous, that's great.
I think that's a two-scoop job.
What's that, now?
That's a two scooper, and I
don't give those out lightly.
You want your pie
heated up a little bit?
Oh, right.
Definitely.
Yes, that way it gets all melty.
Hey, it's me.
Uh, are you all right?
I missed you.
Uh, sorry about that.
Anyway, I just wanted to call
and say hey and thanks.
Uh, we're headed back.
Hopefully, we will come up
again soon.
All right?
Talk to you soon. Bye.
He has an actual answering
machine for his home phone?
Yeah, crazy, huh?
I don't think my family ever
had one back in the day.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Huh.
- It's just...
There was always somebody
around my house, you know?
My mom's side of the family
is especially large.
How big?
Let's see, she's got...
Six siblings?
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Yeah, and they all live...
They all live really close.
And they're all crazy, so...
Oh, yeah, how so?
Um...
Okay, well, my uncle Jim, um,
he's diabetic, so he has to give
himself these Insulin shots,
you know, every day.
But he doesn't, like, excuse
himself to go do it in private.
He'll just, like, stick a needle
in at the dinner table.
Hmm. Ugh.
- Yeah, it's so disturbing.
- Oh, man.
Um...
And there's my aunt Irene.
She's intense.
She, um...
She's transferred
all her kids through,
like, these multiple
school districts, you know?
She thinks they're all,
like, unsanitary.
Um, now they're all
home schooled, yeah, so...
My uncle Kyle, he, um -
he wanted to be a lawyer
his entire life,
and, um,
his last year of law school,
he comes out of the closet,
right?
And, um, I guess that just made
all his passion for law
just go away, so,
now he's a hair stylist.
And has, like,
$200,000 of student loans.
Ooh, ouch.
Yeah, good move.
Um...
Actually, he's...
He's really awesome,
but he's crazy, too.
How about you?
What's that?
You have any, like,
crazy family or anything?
I don't really have a lot
of family, actually.
It's just, uh,
me and uncle John.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Does he get mad or, like,
have a drinking problem
or something?
No.
He's the best.
Hey, John.
You all right there?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Just tired, is all.
Okay.
Well, I wanted to come by
and, uh, check on you real quick
and see if you seen Danny Miller
around here any time lately.
No.
Okay.
Keep an eye out.
We found his truck
over at scoob's this morning.
Big, old handgun
sitting on the seat.
We got everyone
out looking for him right now,
but I just thought I'd come by
and make sure you're safe.
You might want to take
some extra precautions,
you know.
And give me a shout
if he does come around, okay?
It sure is a healthy one.
"do not think that I came to
destroy the law of the prophets."
I did not come to destroy them,
but to fulfill them.
Because I tell all of you
with certainty
that until heaven and earth
disappear,
not one letter
or one stroke of a letter
will disappear from the law
"until everything
has been accomplished."
Hell... fire.
Those two words...
"Hell fire"...
Came from Jesus's lips directly.
The son of god spoke them,
and there is no
misunderstanding him.
He spoke them as two words...
"Hell fire."
So as to be perfectly
crystal clear on what he means,
he is describing the place,
hell.
But there is a problem
at work today, a mortal problem,
and we are not talking about it.
Jesus spoke those two words...
"Hell fire"...
And nobody
wants to hear about it.
We are comforted by Jesus
the savior, Jesus the healer.
God who sent his only son
down to earth itself
to sacrifice himself for us,
and we feel good
when we repeat those stories.
We fold our hands in thanks
and then move about our lives
as though all is fine,
but we do not want to think
about those actual words.
You can walk this earth
and claim
he is in you all you want,
but you will be judged
on your actions.
Hell is real. It does exist.
Hell fire... simply spoken,
and praise be to god for it.
And if you don't want
to think about that,
you need to be ready.
We are all going to die,
every one of us.
It could be in 80 years.
Could be
right outside those doors.
It does not matter.
We all stand before him
for our judgment.
You need to think about
where you are going to wake up.
Are you ready?
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
You can be seated.
- Going to coffee, yeah?
- What's that?
You headed to coffee?
Well, um...
I was thinking about it,
but I got a couple of things
to do today.
Maybe catch you up
for the afternoon round.
All right.
Might see you later, then, yeah.
Dale!
John.
Yeah. Yeah, good, good.
You?
Yeah, yeah.
Say, uh, I'm gonna be burning
over at the quarry
and stuff today.
And, uh...
Yeah, no, no.
I just don't want
you two worrying
and come
rushing over there again.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, well,
not that much stuff yet,
but you know, I had such a heck
of a time with that big pile
last time that, uh, you know,
I just thought I'd take care
of it today.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I follow, yeah.
Yeah, what do you got?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah,
you could throw it on there,
yeah.
Well, you are not messing
around anymore, are you?
Yeah, well, I'm too old
to mess around anymore.
Just toss on a lot of gas
up front and kick on back.
All right,
we'll get to kicking back.
I won't be a minute.
That log
looks pretty good over there.
Why don't you take a seat,
relax,
and there's these apple
turnovers Mary baked up today.
Why don't you enjoy those?
Good lord, I love that woman.
I apologize, Dale, but I do.
All right, well, go grab a seat.
All right.
- John, hey!
- Yeah.
- You all right?
- Yeah, why?
Your leg, is it bleeding?
What?
Oh, must have caught
myself on something.
You sure? Let's take a look.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll check it out later.
Okay.
And thank Mary for me.
You know what I'm saying?
If I don't feed 'em...
Oh, you don't get a check?
Oh, okay.
You know,
there's someone at home.
- Hey, miss Jenkins.
- Better put that on hold.
You have to call
that 1-800 number on the back.
- I left a note.
- I don't care about that.
I need your I.D. And his I.D.
I left a note.
I don't care about the exits,
okay?
Bye!
2974!
It integrates your muscles
rather than isolates them.
Uhhuh.
Bow fitness workout system
transforms your body's
vulnerabilities into strengths.
Okay.
It's actually surprisingly hard.
What's another one?
All right, try this one.
Hold your arm like this.
Uhhuh.
And do a squat.
Uh, nope.
Yeah, well, I mean,
why don't you buy a gym
membership or something, man?
That's the first thing I did
when Claire and I broke up.
You guys broke up?
- Yeah, before the wedding.
- Hmm.
For about a year.
Yeah, I thought it was gonna
be all party in the USA,
and just ended up
watching a lot of netflix.
- I believe it.
- And porn.
Huh?
Yeah, I was just thinking
about all the old porno
I used to watch.
Like old, actual old porno?
Yeah, vintage stuff.
How old?
I can't remember.
There's so much of it.
Just a blur of flesh?
- Yep.
- Nice.
Yeah.
Anyway, I looked good.
I had the d'Angelo lines.
Yeah, what was that song?
I don't know. I can't remember.
Google it.
Oh, it was "brown sugar"?
I'm pretty sure it wasn't.
No, it was "brown sugar."
- No, trust me on this.
- No, it was "brown sugar."
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, thanks.
Um... as you have undoubtedly
figured out by now,
we've brought on
a new junior producer.
Miss Katelyn Barnes.
Hi.
She comes to us fresh
from New York City.
So make her feel at home.
She's so cute.
She's gonna be working you guys
into the ground soon enough,
so now's your chance
to make friends.
Welcome, Katelyn.
So, Beth, what's the cake?
Real cake?
God damn it.
You know, vegan cake
is not real cake.
Cake needs eggs.
Just keep your voice down.
- Cake needs butter.
- I know.
Gracias. Mm-hmm.
Danke.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
Thanks.
I'm slowly killing myself.
Eat the cake.
Just eat the frosting, then.
- Yeah.
- Better?
Unhunh, worse.
What is this?
What... what's happening here?
I don't... I don't get this.
You know, I'm glad
that you decided to come here.
I mean, um...
I mean, New York is fine,
and it's a fine place to live, but if
you're gonna work there, it's dead.
There's nothing going on there, and
I mean, that's doubly true for L.A.
I mean, if you see something that's
bad, you know it's from New York.
If you see something
that just sucks ass,
you know it's from L.A...
It's been that way for years.
Yeah, I'm really excited
to be here.
Oh, it's good. I mean, there's
gonna be opportunity here.
Frankly, a lot of these folks
that you see here, you know,
they haven't worked out like
I thought they were going to,
but I got... I got a lot
of hope for you.
I got a lot
of confidence in you.
Thank you, thank you.
I'm really excited.
I know, it's great.
Are you moved in and everything?
Do you like where you're
staying?
You like where you moved?
I really like my place.
- Yeah, yeah, good, good.
- The rent's great here, too.
Gonna need a coat.
It gets colder than hell here.
- Right, yeah.
- Colder than New York...
A lot colder.
Yeah, I bought some coats.
Yeah, a big fucking coat.
Yeah.
Mm, boots, too,
because the snow
is just... god damn, it snows.
My farmer the other day.
He's telling me,
got to do this with the margins,
got to do that with...
What the hell
are you talking about?
- Got to be kidding.
- Isn't he 12?
Fellas.
John.
Say, where did you mention Dale
was getting his nutrients now?
Some new formula
that's cheaper or something?
Cheaper? No.
Better, yes.
It's the research
they're pitching, anyway.
I don't know... he's got
some new rep coming by.
Why?
My margins are shit.
I got to do something different.
Thanks, Franny.
Well, bend Dale's ear.
He's deep into something.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.
Afternoon. What's blowing
up your skirt today?
Uh, no, nothing like that.
There is a bit of commotion
this morning, though.
Franny?
Sheriff just got back from up
by the dam there.
They found Dutch Miller's
rowboat spinning around up there
this morning, full of gear,
but no Dutch.
Damn fool probably got drunk
and fell in.
No, not anymore... not
with his new holy roller thing.
The charlatan just probably
skipped town.
Oh, well, look, I don't know.
I don't know about that.
But his old lady
put in her report, too.
Apparently hasn't been home
in three days,
so they're dragging the lake
right now.
Hell, that's...
Well, that's too bad.
He burned down Merlin's barn.
What?
15 years ago.
Yeah, 15 years ago, he got drunk
and burned down Merlin's barn.
Carl, what in the hell
are you talking about?
He burned down
your brother's barn?
Yeah, yeah.
I drove by the other day
to tell him.
Said he was real sorry and all.
Said he saw hell,
and he was real sorry
and all now.
Jesus Christ, Carl,
when will you...
I mean, that's a pretty god
damn big one, don't you think?
Yeah, yeah, a big one.
Well, I know he was talking
to damn near everyone.
Surprised you
didn't know that one.
Well, I heard some of it.
I mean,
but not the whole god damn barn.
Ah, he was out to ray Reynolds
about the money
he stole from him.
Just the other night,
he was down in the bar
pulling damn near everyone aside
on a real mission, apparently.
He come out to see you, John?
No.
No, I haven't, uh...
I haven't talked to Dutch
in years now.
Well, I imagine he will be
or would be or would have been.
Oh, you know.
Oh, you know,
all the stories with...
Well, you know.
People always said
he was with Dede, you know?
- You know.
- Yeah, well, I...
I heard plenty.
Most of that,
just not about the barn.
Danny, you know,
ain't none too happy
about these Dutch confessions.
He, uh, hasn't seen the light
or whatever like his brother,
you know?
Danny maybe killed Dutch
himself, huh... to shut him up?
- No.
- That right, Ace?
No, I'm just...
I'm just saying.
At least he didn't burn down
your barn.
God damn it, Carl, you...
Jesus.
And, um... and so...
So if I just have something
that he can tug on with.
If he's acting aggressively,
we'll just... he'll just
take it out on the tugging.
You know, when I look
in his eyes in those moments,
his eyes are not
the "I want to kill you"
sort of eyes of a creature
that's trying to hurt you.
His eyes are sort of
in the kind of like...
- Hi. Oh, fuck.
- Shit.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, man, no.
- Hey, flip that shit over, man.
- That's my bad.
- There you go.
- Ooh, that's a lot of coffee.
It's okay, it's my bad. Fuck.
Do you have paper towels?
Here you go.
That should be good.
Thanks a lot, Teddy.
- I got this.
- Perfect.
All right, yep.
That's all we need is that.
- Here, take a little bit more.
- Yeah, maybe.
Time is of the essence here.
- Okay, I got this.
- There you go.
Here, you got that end?
I'll be the skewers.
Go for it, yeah.
Oh, yeah, got to double it.
Triple it!
Yeah. Yo, hustle.
- This is enough.
- No, no, no, no.
- This is good.
- This is not nearly enough.
Need more, Mike.
Got to have it.
I'm proud of you. Keep going.
He came to work really high,
so I have to fuck with him.
- That's mean.
- I don't know about mean, but...
I'm moving, man.
Okay.
- Katelyn, right?
- Uh, just Kate.
Okay.
We got to be nearing the end
here, right, man?
- Yeah!
- That's about it?
Let go, we're done.
All right, that should do it.
I think so.
Well done, sir.
Thank you very much.
- Yeah, I do what I can.
- Just save that for later.
- That's a lot of paper.
- Yeah, a lot of paper.
We'll maybe use it next time.
Statue.
Put it in the spill box.
Yeah, put it in the spill box.
Thanks. Your big environment.
- I'll let you guys clean up.
- Oh, sorry.
What's up?
I was just stopping by to let
you know I'm taking over the...
The yogurt ninja shop.
Quicker.
- Got that?
- I'm the quicker.
You are quick on your heels.
Um, and I wanted to apologize
for the barrage of e-mails
that are headed your way.
Yeah.
So, I'm gonna send you one
with the latest details, then.
- Okay.
- I hope your computer's okay.
- I'll be fine, thanks.
- Nice to meet you, Ben.
Good to meet you.
See you, Katelyn.
Come here, tiger!
Here, boy! Here, boy!
Come here!
You don't like me anymore.
- Hey, there.
- Hello, dear.
- How are you?
- Good, good.
Uh-oh, look what you got?
Oh, yeah, just got one
acting up in the basement.
Coffee?
- No, no, thanks.
- You sure?
Yeah, yeah.
I got to get going in a sec.
Everything else been
going all right, though?
Is Ben planning
on coming up real soon?
Yeah, well, you know,
I don't know.
Nothing planned.
I talked to him the other day.
It seems like everything's
going real good.
Great.
Still does that computer stuff
down there?
Yeah, he's doing
some commercials and stuff.
I seen a couple
on TV the other day.
Well, it sounds neat.
Yeah, yeah, he's doing...
Doing okay in it.
He's doing well.
Oh.
Say, how's your back?
Dale said it looked like you got
cut up pretty good on something.
Yeah? Oh, no, no.
I got a couple scratches.
I took a bit of a tumble getting
some of the bushes up there.
A tumble? What kind of tumble?
You okay?
Well, you know, it wasn't -
wasn't really a tumble.
- It was kind of...
- Geez, John.
You know we're nearly always
around over here
if you need anything.
You can pretend
you don't want these
and make a fuss if you like,
but I'm gonna make you, anyways.
Hey, Danny.
All right.
Hey, uh...
I'm sorry to hear
about your brother.
You... you heard any news?
Well, all right, bud.
Uh, listen, I'll, uh...
I'll... I'll just let you be.
Sheriff seems to think
he got drunk and just fell in.
They've been dragging that
god damn lake all afternoon.
No body yet.
Yeah.
I heard.
I doubt that, though.
No way Dutch drowns in there.
Well, let's hope not.
They're just, you know,
doing what they can.
You know, maybe, uh...
Maybe he just took off
for a bit, you know.
Dodging somebody or something?
Yeah.
Plenty of reason for that,
lately.
I've never seen a guy
so upset in my entire life.
That vision or whatever
just scared the shit out of him.
Yeah, I know.
I heard about that.
You know, he had quite a bit
to say to a few people
in particular.
Did he come see
you the other evening?
I haven't talked to Dutch in...
In a long time.
To be honest, you know,
there's a lot of people in town
have been pretty worried about
him for the last few weeks.
Well...
Like I said, I'll, uh...
I'll just let you be.
You know, I'm sitting here
because this is
where they found his truck.
So, I figure,
this is where he bought it.
And they say from time to time
that the killer
will come on back to the scene
of the crime, you know.
Oh... yeah.
So, the past few evenings,
I've just been sitting here
having a few smokes
and seeing who drives by.
Well, pretty...
Pretty busy road, Danny,
you know?
You must have seen a lot
of people passing by.
Oh, yeah, quite a few.
Oh, boy. More changes?
Yes, correct, correct.
- Are you filling him in?
- Yeah.
All right, look. I'm... I'm leaving
...Leaving to my car right now.
Where am I meeting you?
No, no, no, no. Just text me.
No, just... just text me.
I'm not writing it down.
Hey, listen.
I got a dinner.
I'll be home later.
You post that.
Call you when I get home.
Yeah, sure.
Well, that guy is, um...
What are the changes?
Uh... headband.
Huh?
The yogurt cup
is getting a headband.
- Cool.
- Totally cool.
All right,
I'll get us some dinner.
Wow.
- Hey.
- This looks great, thank you.
Yeah, of course.
I hope beer's okay.
Yes, of course.
Well?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
These are cute.
I know, right?
How about this?
Did you know kumquats are served
during Chinese spring festival?
Uhhuh.
Um, did you know that in winter,
most parts of China
are quite cold?
It doesn't say that.
It does.
That's a true fact.
Wow, well...
Now you know.
Now you know.
Uh... looks like there's just one
of those.
Do you want it?
Oh, no, I can't do raw shrimp.
It's okay. It's not.
It's not?
If it was raw, it'd be blue.
Oh, god, you're right.
I'm and idiot.
Uh... well, do you want it?
- No, you have it.
- You ever had it?
Yeah.
It seems like you're lying.
- I always thought it was raw.
- Well, you should have it.
- No.
- Have it.
- No.
- It's great.
Okay.
Graceful.
Yeah, I'm just gonna do that.
What do you think?
Mm.
Oh.
Mm.
Kate.
Kate.
Shit.
Uh, it's posted.
It's in right now.
All right,
let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's.
This is me.
Well, that sucked,
but you were great. Thanks.
Yeah, the failing is mutual.
The feeling... the feeling
and the failing,
they're both mutual.
Um... do you think
this would fit?
Oh, no. Don't worry about it.
I got to keep my girlish figure,
but, uh, you just get
a good night's...
Uh... you know.
Good night.
You, too. Get home safe.
All right, I will. Thanks.
So, they...
They bring the guy in,
and they don't know anything
about him.
And they should ask
for his I.D.,
and they look
through everything.
And then finally they look
through his motorcycle.
Guy looked like some kind
of a criminal.
I don't know...
Just, you know, you just
can tell when you look
at some of these guys like that.
Just... morning there, fellas.
- Hey.
- Hey, there, John.
We're just talking
about the latest.
- What's that?
- A guy they picked up yesterday
over at the campground
in sauk, the biker guy?
They're pretty sure he's got
everything to do with Dutch missing.
What... what's that now?
- Geez, John.
- What?
You look like hell.
I do?
Yesterday afternoon,
they had some kind
of a scuffle over there.
And once the cops got him in,
turns out that he's got some
heavy history with Dutch
over a bunch of money, I think.
- Well, who he is?
- Some biker type from up north.
Not a real gentle soul,
from what I gather.
You know,
tattooed up all over the place,
- one on the neck.
- Ooh!
Apparently, he had something
like five grand in cash
locked up in his chopper.
Five grand?
Damn.
That's what I hear, anyway.
Well, what are they saying
about he and Dutch?
- Well, I mean, it's...
- He is a person of interest.
Coffee?
Yeah, coffee, yeah, thanks,
Franny.
Anyway, he's a suspect.
Sounds like a no-brainer,
though, I mean.
You know, speaking of...
Speaking of harsh souls,
I'll never understand why
that woman dislikes me so much.
Maybe you should try tipping
her something one of these days.
- I tip.
- More than nickels, I'm saying.
Every day...
I'm here every god damn day,
probably since she
was wetting her pants.
Okay, look,
everything we've got so far
is boring crap, okay?
Now, I don't mind that every now and
then we're gonna put out some crap.
Everybody does, but let's make
it interesting at least.
I'd rather be interesting
and boring.
If it's crap, let's make
it interesting crap, okay?
We're gonna
role play like we're a bunch
of fucking idiots, all right?
For whatever reason,
we've got some kind
of impaired cognitive function.
Now, what would appeal to us?
What do you got?
Somebody hit a single.
John?
Verne, how are you?
Can't complain.
You got a minute?
Sure, of course.
Can I get you a beer
or something, or...?
Yeah, close enough, sure.
How's Laura?
She just retired, yeah?
Yeah... bored.
Yeah.
What you got there?
Oh, those are for the Maitlands.
They're doing some remodeling
and stuff over there.
Jake Maitland?
Yeah, Jake.
Hmm, funny.
What's that?
I'll just cut to the chase here.
Are you up to speed on
all this Dutch Miller business?
Oh, yeah. I believe so.
- Strange one, huh?
- That it is.
You know, we're
dragging the lake over there.
Yeah, over by that dam
and stuff, right?
Nothing yet there,
but a couple days back,
we get a call over to smoky's
campground over in Sauk.
Pick up this rough-looking
fellow from somewhere up north.
Turns out, he and Dutch had
some big problems in the past.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Thought we had something there.
Turns out it was a dead end.
For Dutch, anyway.
Guy's got a bunch of cash
on him, so he's up to something,
but god only knows.
Anyways, in the midst
of all that,
as soon as we let him go,
Danny Miller got to drinking.
He pays a visit
over to the campground himself.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
They got into it pretty good.
Danny tagged him one on the jaw,
put him in the hospital.
- Aw, geez Louise.
- Yeah.
We're holding Danny there
right now, but not for long.
Oh, no?
Can't get a word
out of either one of them.
If this is their regard
for their worst enemy,
here's the police.
Oh, geez, I see.
Yeah.
So, that's that.
I wanted to come by, though,
and give you a head's up.
- Head's up?
- Yeah.
When we had Danny
in the squad car,
he was going on about how he
thinks Dutch has been murdered.
- That right?
- I don't know.
He certainly
has himself convinced,
but somehow or another...
He's naming you on it,
too, John.
Me?
Huh.
And how's that?
No idea.
It's not just you.
It's a whole laundry list
of suspects.
Ray Reynolds,
Jake Maitland, old don.
- Old don?
- Yeah.
In fact, we had to go over
to don's place the other day.
He thought he saw Danny
poking around in his barn.
No kidding?
It all doesn't make much sense
to me, so I'm not trying to.
I talked to him already and
warned him about Danny, as well.
They all just seemed just as
confused.
I'll bet.
Yeah, he was going on and on
about how Dutch came over a week
or so ago and started to get
all high and mighty on him.
You mind if I tend to something
over here for a minute?
No, no, no, go right ahead.
Yeah, I guess Dutch
and him almost came to blows.
- No kidding.
- Yeah.
Dutch came over and tried
to apologize and then asked him
to repent or something.
Got real intense, I guess.
I guess his power of prayer
didn't stop his bullying,
though.
What was it he did for you?
He just, you know, helped out.
It was a favor to Dede, mostly.
Oh, right.
Right.
They were an item there
for a while, weren't they?
Right before her accident.
Yeah, that was a tough time.
Terrible thing.
Mm, ugh. Excuse me.
What, you're kidding me... you've never
seen "trains, planes & automobiles"?
- No.
- "Uncle buck"?
- Nope.
- Oh.
You are missing
some amazing, freeze frame,
like, John candy smiles.
Like... that kind of thing.
I don't do him very well.
My mom used to love that guy.
- She doesn't anymore?
- Nah.
Why not?
Well, she passed away.
- Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, that's okay.
She... well,
it was a really long time ago.
Well, how old were you?
Uh, I was 11.
Actu... no, I was 10.
She was in an accident.
So your dad raised you, then?
He was supposed to.
I, uh, my...
At the time of the accident,
I was staying
at my uncle's house,
and my dad said that he was
gonna come and get me.
And then he just never
really showed, which is...
Um, but they weren't together
at the time, and...
It's okay, I guess he split
tow... split town or something.
But I didn't really want
him to come get me, anyway.
Sorry.
That got really personal.
No, no.
I'm fine, thank you.
Happy.
Well, I mean, I just wanted to
take you out and cheer you up.
No, it was nothing.
Maybe, I don't know...
I don't think... I don't think
Dex likes me very much.
What do you think?
I mean, he's always
claiming something's wrong,
but I don't know.
Everything seems fine to me,
and even when things are going
great, he seems pissed off.
Does he do that a lot?
Man, I've never met a person
who's so in love with drama.
And his ideas are terrible.
I mean, they're really awful.
He's hairless.
- What?
- You never noticed that before?
Yeah, uh, apparently, uh,
his wife told Teddy
the whole thing
at last year's Christmas party.
Had one too many nogs
or something.
Anyway, yeah, so,
he'll stand like in the middle
of the bathroom,
and I'm sure stark naked
like the Da Vinci guy.
And then she takes a razor
and shaves him from the neck
to the toe.
Oh, that's disgusting.
It's a nice image if you picture
the whole thing in your head,
which I'd like
you to do right now.
- Yeah, thank you, thank you.
- Yeah? You got it?
- No, I...
- So, anyway, that...
That's not leaving anytime soon.
Well, anyway, that's the bozo
that you're all worked up about,
so maybe picture that next time
he's giving you the business.
Just picture him
sliding around on his own pubes
in the middle of the bathroom...
Sorry.
That's gross, I know.
So, why'd you end up
moving here?
Uh... I... I had to get
out of New York.
- Run out of town?
- Yes, it's dangerous.
Um, no, I was in a... I was
in a relationship with a guy,
and it didn't work out
and it was a bad breakup.
And... I'm young, right?
I'm fun.
I don't want to be anything too
serious or now, anyway, so...
He was older, too.
Ah, how much older?
Like, salt and pepper older.
Ooh, I love it.
And I worked with him, too.
That was the biggest mistake.
- Everything good?
- Yeah.
Setting an alarm clock
or something?
No, I'm sorry.
That's cool, thanks.
Just busting your chops.
- Busting my chops?
- Mm-hmm.
All right.
Focus.
Um... you know any jokes?
Hmm, no.
Oh, come on.
You don't know any jokes?
- Nope.
- No, like, a joke?
- Okay, here's one for you.
- Okay.
So, I went to the doctor
recently.
He said, "Ben,
you have to stop masturbating."
And I said, "why?"
And he said, "because I'm trying
to examine you."
So, that's kind of gross.
I didn't make that one up.
I shouldn't be...
I should tell you.
But you can just picture me...
Well, don't.
- Wow.
- I don't have any clean jokes.
Just dirty ones?
- Just dirty ones.
- Wow.
I actually recently
got over a breakup myself.
I mean, you know,
about six months ago, but...
So it wasn't that recent, but it
was a really long relationship.
- How long are we talking about?
- About five years.
- That's long.
- That's a long time.
- That's a long one.
- Yeah, and she was awful to me.
- It was a bad breakup?
- It was a bad breakup.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me, ooh.
- You okay?
- Good beer, yeah.
All right, well...
- Well, how about now?
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Like, am I dating?
- Yeah.
- Mm, kind of.
Well, I mean...
No.
And do you want to?
Well, I mean, you know,
I wouldn't be adverse to it.
Okay, what are you looking for?
Like, you know,
chicks with dicks.
No, no.
Ladies wearing, like, rare furs.
You know, drunk chicks.
Drunk chicks?
Well, we're in a bar, so...
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, it shouldn't be hard.
No, I'm kidding.
Like her?
Her, the, uh...
One in the neon Aztec tee?
Yeah.
I'm just saying,
Ben, if you want,
I can probably
get you laid tonight.
Hmm... no, I'm good.
- You're good?
- Mm-hmm.
You don't want
to get laid tonight?
Well, you know, I'm...
I'm really tired.
You done?
- Almost.
- Finish her up.
Thanks.
Okay.
Welcome to my humble adobe.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
You want something to drink?
Sure, that'd be good.
- Wine?
- Yeah, why not?
You don't have to open
a new bottle or anything.
No, it's cool.
My roommate opened one,
like, a month ago,
so we are all good.
All right.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Got it?
- Yeah.
- Here we go.
- All righty.
- Whoa.
- Well, you got to follow it.
Chase the snake, man.
Yes. Bob when I weave.
Yeah.
It's a test.
What was the test?
Just to see what you're made of.
You got to be quick
on your feet.
Yeah.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
You usually do...
I don't know how.
Just drink it.
I feel like we're
at a square dance.
Yeah.
It's a hoedown.
It's a hoedown.
It's a hoedown.
- But you have to curtsy first.
- All right.
Curtsy.
- Whoa.
- That was a trick.
Oh
I gotcha.
Yeah, do you like my apartment?
Yeah, it's nice.
- It's got nice stuff.
- Thanks.
It's all, like, found items.
- Oh.
- Stuff I found.
Like, I don't like to buy
anything 'cause I don't want to,
like, contribute to,
like, you know,
just like sweat shops and stuff.
Yeah.
Well, this old dog
learned a new trick.
Our next couple
is from sunny Tempe, Arizona.
He also likes to keep his eye
on the prize.
Uh, dude, you okay?
Okay.
Morning, Vivian.
Hi, John.
You doing okay?
- I'm fine.
- Good.
That a way.
Fellas, what's going
on this fine day?
- Hiya, John.
- John.
Yeah,
Danny's out of jail already.
He's sitting right over there.
All right, all right, Carl.
You don't say.
Jesus.
You fellas are like a bunch
of 13-year-old girls.
How do you suppose
he got that black eye there?
Oh, come on, come on.
What else is going on?
Carl, what's going on
down at the river?
Anything biting these days? No.
Nope, not this week.
You throwing worms right now?
Yep, fat ones.
Don't throw worms right now.
They'll never bite on worms
right now.
- Got a bunch of worms.
- Yeah, well,
you don't need to use them
just because you got them.
Carl, this man knows everything
about fish biting.
- And worms.
- And worms.
Hey, Ben. Ben.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
Are you feeling better?
What do you mean?
Just, you seemed a little
out of it today.
No, I'm fine.
Good.
So, it went well last night?
Yeah, it went fine.
You want to return
the favor tonight?
What do you mean?
Get a drink.
Well, I have a date
with a bubble bath.
Oh.
Come on.
- Uh...
- Just one drink, I swear.
- All right.
- Yeah?
Yep. First round's on you.
- All right, that's fair.
- Second round's on you.
How about the third round?
- You.
- Okay, fine.
Okay, so, you see any prospects?
Not really.
All right, what about type?
You got a type?
Well, my ex was huge,
and he was built like a viking.
Cool.
You know, I always like
to date someone crafty.
Crafty?
Yeah, like, someone who works
with his hands, you know? Okay.
Like a carpenter.
- Yeah, like a carpenter.
- My uncle's a carpenter.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh.
Wait, the one that raised you?
The same.
So, can you do it?
What, set you up with my uncle?
No, can you carpentry?
Can you do it? Can I carpentry?
- Can you carpentry?
- I can carpentry a little bit.
I can carpentry a bit.
Uh, you know, hung around
the workshop a lot growing up.
I think we found your man.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, buddy! Wake up.
- Shh.
- You want a date?
She's all right.
You want another one? You sure?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, why the hell not?
- Yeah, I can have another.
Monsieur?
Can we do two more, please?
What's your name, by the way?
Adam.
Adam? How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- Thank you.
Good.
What a guy.
That guy's big.
He could be a viking.
His arms are bigger
than my thighs.
And I have big thighs.
I think it's run by
the Korean mafia. I'm not sure.
- Did you ever do that?
- What?
Sing karaoke.
No, actually,
I've never done that before.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Huh, well,
we'll do a duet or something.
- Yeah, I could do it.
- Okay.
Anyway, sorry that was kind
of a bust.
No, it's all right. You're fun.
- I'm sorry.
- I can't, I'm sorry.
No, I know, I know.
No, I... I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
You know what?
I can't 'cause...
It's okay, I didn't have dinner,
and I had a couple of drinks.
All right, miss dawn.
I think we're in good shape
here.
Oh! Oh, well, that's...
Um, this pie will be done
in just a bit
if you feel like staying
for a piece.
Oh, no, thanks.
I had a heck of a breakfast.
And I got to make another stop
this morning.
But I have to come back tomorrow
and finish up here, though,
so why don't I take a rain check
until then?
You bet. It's a date.
9:00 A.M. work for you?
See you then.
Okey dokey.
I mean, you guys are amazing.
Basically, it's just not...
It's just not...
No worries.
I... I totally get it.
Sometimes they don't know
what's best for them.
Exactly right.
That's exactly right.
But we want to make sure
that they're happy.
You remember what I said
before we started this job.
Morning, nights, weekends.
We're here for you, anytime.
That's the truth,
that's our job.
- Thanks so much.
- That's right.
- Thanks so much.
- Yeah, of course.
So, we'll make those changes
and shoot you a new posting
as soon as we can.
Okay, talk to you guys soon.
- Okay, see you guys.
- All right, have a good weekend.
- Bye.
- Bye. - See you guys.
Mm!
How good was that?
Hey, buddy.
Thanks for coming in.
Uh, listen, I got to run.
Um, you let me know
when everything's good?
Buddy.
Okay, let me show you
what you're doing.
Hey. Shit.
This is exactly what I
didn't want to have happen.
Um... I'm sorry
that I made it weird last night.
- It's fine.
- No, no, no, it's not.
I'm really sorry, okay?
Uh, I know that you...
You don't want to date anybody
that you work with,
and I'm not...
You know, basically, I'm not
saying that if you didn't
have that rule that I'd be
somebody, um,
that you would, uh...
You know?
I... I just think
that we're friends,
you know, and it's good.
- Right?
- Yeah, we're good.
Okay. Hug it out?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Friends?
- Of course.
Good.
- No more headbands.
- Ah.
What? Client's client hates it.
Mm, thank you.
Ugh, this coffee is really weak.
Where's the good coffee
in this city?
Huh? Coffee?
Yeah, where's the good coffee
in this city?
Uh, there's actually a lot.
Give me about 15 minutes,
and I'll show you.
- Wait, you only need 15 minutes?
- Mm-hmm.
These changes are not
that bad, actually.
Oh, my god, you're the best.
I could use
a good doughnut, too.
Well, now, that... there are
some good ones around here,
but I'm pretty partial
to the ones I grew up with.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
What's your go-to?
Well, as a kid, I would always
go for the sweeter ones,
but now that I'm a mature adult,
I get an old-fashioned.
They're famous
for their caramel, though.
- Let's go get some.
- Huh?
Uh, okay.
They're 21/2 hours away, though.
Let's go after this.
I'll drive.
Hmm.
I'm sorry,
you probably have plans already.
No.
I don't, actually.
Uh... yeah, what the hell?
Yeah, really?
- Yeah.
- Exciting.
I mean, like,
I bought it already grown.
- Oh, yeah.
- It's like a little
like seedling or whatever, so...
I had fresh basil
for a few weeks,
and then I just kind of forgot
to water it.
- Oh, really? Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, that sounds like you
had a good run.
Oh, I need a...
I got to get a...
Got to get a new blade
for that Jigsaw.
Got to remember to do that.
We I'm with a friend,
co-worker,
and we're driving up,
just sort of impromptu.
Uh, we're actually
kind of close,
so I hope you get this,
and yeah.
Just give me a buzz. Otherwise,
we'll just see you soon.
Okay, bye.
She's still the best.
She's very exotic looking, Ben.
Oh, yeah.
Uh... thanks, Mrs. Thompson.
- Ben?
- Hey!
Did you get my message?
Message?
Yeah, ah.
Surprise.
Well, hello there.
Hi, I'm Kate.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
Yeah, I tried calling a couple
of times. Sorry.
Oh, come on now. Give me a hug.
Hey, we're gonna run
over to Clark's in a minute...
Grab some steaks and beers.
You want to grill out tonight?
Sure, sure.
And got in touch with Mary
on the way up, too.
She wants to come over.
You'd be in hot water
if you didn't.
Yep.
So, does your...
Your new place have a grill?
Yeah, got a little back deck
and everything.
- It's nice.
- You like it?
Yeah, I love it.
How about you, Kate?
Does it need a woman's touch?
Um... actually,
I've never seen it.
Yeah, we work together.
So, she just moved to New York.
She just moved from New York
to Chicago.
Oh, great.
They buy the cows
when they're three days old,
- put them in there.
- Okay.
And then Mary has to nurse them
with, like, a little formula.
Those blue buckets are
what the formula's mixed up in.
And after they've been weaned...
Look at that cow chasing
that cat.
Can I pet them?
Sure.
These guys are kind
of like adolescents, so...
- In the rebellious stage?
- They're rebellious.
They sneak out. Right?
Whoa, you are aggressive.
Ooh.
And then they move them
into this pen right here.
Number five is not really
into this.
Is he?
He's looking a little
suspicious.
He's still pissed at me 'cause
I beat him in checkers.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, bubba.
- I love how they stand up.
- Oh, my god.
You can pet him.
They like to lick.
And this guy I call crazy eyes.
- Crazy eyes?
- Yeah.
He looks like a cow version
of, like, Peter Falk.
I think they're just friends,
mare.
- What?
- John.
I know you don't believe that.
What?
Those two are already an item,
or they're on their way.
I only know what I'm told, mare.
And I only know what I see.
Hiya, John.
Danny Miller?
Oh!
Well, I thought that was Ben.
How are you, buddy?
Good, you?
Good.
Shoot, you know what?
Let me pull off the road
and do this proper.
- It's been a while.
- It has.
- How you been?
- Great.
- This is Kate.
- Hi.
Hi, Kate, nice to meet you.
I'm Danny.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- So, what's up, man?
- What's new?
- Well, you know,
it's been a rough couple of
weeks with all this Dutch stuff.
Dutch stuff? What's going on?
Well, he's been missing.
I'm surprised your uncle there
didn't say anything.
Well, they just got here.
I haven't caught them up
on the latest.
- He's my brother.
- Oh, no.
So what happened?
Well, actually, I was just
caught up on the latest,
and, uh,
I guess they've been digging
around a lot
in the mud down there
by the lake where Dutch used
to keep his rowboat.
Seems promising,
as far as evidence goes.
Not too promising
as far as an outcome for Dutch.
- Oh, god.
- Sorry, Danny.
That's horrible.
Thanks, guys.
It has been difficult.
I will say that.
Yeah, we've been
pretty worried about him.
Keeping good thoughts, though.
Yeah.
Can I get you a drink,
Danny, or something?
Coffee or a beer or something?
Well, I mean,
it's about that time.
That sounds great, John.
Sure.
How about you two?
Yeah, sounds good.
Check this out.
This is really cool.
You seem all jammed up
in here, bud.
You really should think about
moving out to one of your barns.
Wow, you made this?
Yep.
I rent out the barns.
So you don't do any farming?
Well, you know, when I was
a kid, my folks owned a farm.
And I couldn't quite
make it work,
so I rent out the barns
and stuff.
Here you go, Danny.
Thanks, John.
- Hey, John?
- Yeah?
Did my brother
ever come and see you?
You already asked me that,
Danny.
I... I told you, I haven't
seen him in quite a while.
Yeah, I know, it's just...
I know that he was beating
himself up
and wanted to come talk to you
about that last night
he spent with Dede.
I know that I wasn't ready
for it when he told me.
I just...
I never thought that she
would do that to herself.
I guess that she was feeling
suffocated by being a mom?
She begged him to leave
with her.
They were pretty deep
in the drink up there,
and he said
that he wasn't leaving,
so she just jumped.
You know what, bud?
I really don't want
to discuss it.
Hey, you two, how about
getting dinner started?
There's some of Mary's corn
in that bag there.
I'm on it.
All right.
This is really difficult. Okay.
I'll show you how it's done.
Okay, all right,
so you just start at the top.
Pull it towards you
like you're shucking corn.
Wow.
This one's for you.
I never knew Dede was a redhead.
Shucks, you're good.
Just throw those everywhere.
Go that way.
And then once you get to the
silks, just pull all those off.
I never remember
seeing her with red hair.
Oh, yeah, well, sometimes.
I remember her as a blonde,
mainly.
Yeah, me, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, when Dutch
and her were going strong,
she was a blonde.
He loved his blondes.
Hey, Ben, it's gonna take me
a minute to get these together.
Do me a favor and get the grill
started for me.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm trusting you with these.
- Don't let me down.
- Okay.
Oh, shoot.
Don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that.
You know, it might be easier if
you peel them out on the deck.
Yeah, agreed.
Now, that's what I'm talking
about.
Would you look at that?
That is how I remember her.
You ever seen Ben's mom before?
No.
No, she's so pretty.
Yes, she was.
She was in the military?
Yeah, the army for a bit.
She was a tough one,
wasn't she, John?
- Yeah, she could be.
- Hmm.
Is that your dad?
Yeah.
Uh, listen, Ben's probably
gonna be needing this.
Could you take this out for me?
Yeah, of course.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
That Dede
was a good-looking woman.
Yeah, do me a favor and put
that back where you found it.
I mean, you're done
looking at it, right, pal?
Sure thing, boss.
I mean, you know me, Danny.
I like things
a certain way, you know.
Hmm.
You know, John, I been
thinking, I'm gonna go ahead
and start making
funeral arrangements for Dutch.
Well, that's a little premature
don't you think, Danny?
But if you think
it's the right thing to do.
Do you, John?
Well, I just don't think
he's coming back.
Well...
If you think
it's the thing to do, Danny,
then I'd start
by talking to pastor bill.
Maybe for yourself, even.
Get some help.
And put that back on the wall,
like I asked.
All right, pal?
Ta-da!
- How we doing?
- We're close.
A couple minutes.
Good, looking good.
Is this all right?
Oh, look at that.
Look at that. Perfect, perfect.
That's done.
Where you going, Dan?
Where's he off to?
I don't know.
He said he had a shift
starting soon or something.
- Huh.
- It's all right.
Uh, Katie, could you
hand me some corn there?
Sure.
I'll take this one here.
Nice one, huh?
We're gonna make you breakfast
in the morning, okay?
So don't try anything.
Oh, not a chance, buddy.
I don't have the time.
I got to be up and out early.
Got to get some supplies
and head to an install.
Till when?
- Probably 1:00 or 2:00.
- Oh.
All right.
Well, I think I'm gonna head in.
Do you mind if I take a shower?
Of course not.
You'll find everything
you need in the shower upstairs.
There's fresh towels
in the closet in the hallway.
Perfect, thank you.
It's great meeting you.
You, too, dear.
Is there a certain time you
want to leave in the morning?
No, just whenever we're up.
Okay. Good night.
- Night.
- Night.
So, how's business?
Been good.
Steady.
You?
Ah, same old.
What you working on?
Commercials.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
For?
At the moment, yogurt.
Oh, that sounds cool.
Yeah, it's not really
that cool, but it's fun.
Mm, okay.
You're getting paid, anyway.
Yeah, I guess.
I like Kate.
Yeah, she's really cool.
You guys are...
No.
- Really?
- No.
- Huh.
- Not my choice.
Oh.
Just friends, huh?
Just friends.
You, uh, talk to Rachel anymore?
No.
Uh... no, I don't.
But you're happy?
Yeah, I'm happy.
Good.
I'll, uh, get up
and say good-bye in the morning.
Uh...
Night.
Hey, do me a favor.
Hit the hallway light
when you cash in, all right?
Yep.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Water?
Can't sleep?
I was having some trouble.
Um...
You okay?
Yeah.
That's a shitload of stairs.
Shh, shh, shh.
Yeah, I know.
Just give me a second, okay?
Okay.
No.
Fuck it.
Shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh.
Oh, god.
Shh.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
I forgot to turn the light out.
Okay.
Let's turn it off.
Okay.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Hi, there.
Hi, morning.
Do you have any foil?
Uh, yeah, second drawer
on the left.
Your coffee's over there.
I figured you put it
in the travel mug?
Every day.
Did he take off already?
Yep.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Looking pretty good here.
I think you're all set.
Fabulous, that's great.
I think that's a two-scoop job.
What's that, now?
That's a two scooper, and I
don't give those out lightly.
You want your pie
heated up a little bit?
Oh, right.
Definitely.
Yes, that way it gets all melty.
Hey, it's me.
Uh, are you all right?
I missed you.
Uh, sorry about that.
Anyway, I just wanted to call
and say hey and thanks.
Uh, we're headed back.
Hopefully, we will come up
again soon.
All right?
Talk to you soon. Bye.
He has an actual answering
machine for his home phone?
Yeah, crazy, huh?
I don't think my family ever
had one back in the day.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Huh.
- It's just...
There was always somebody
around my house, you know?
My mom's side of the family
is especially large.
How big?
Let's see, she's got...
Six siblings?
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Yeah, and they all live...
They all live really close.
And they're all crazy, so...
Oh, yeah, how so?
Um...
Okay, well, my uncle Jim, um,
he's diabetic, so he has to give
himself these Insulin shots,
you know, every day.
But he doesn't, like, excuse
himself to go do it in private.
He'll just, like, stick a needle
in at the dinner table.
Hmm. Ugh.
- Yeah, it's so disturbing.
- Oh, man.
Um...
And there's my aunt Irene.
She's intense.
She, um...
She's transferred
all her kids through,
like, these multiple
school districts, you know?
She thinks they're all,
like, unsanitary.
Um, now they're all
home schooled, yeah, so...
My uncle Kyle, he, um -
he wanted to be a lawyer
his entire life,
and, um,
his last year of law school,
he comes out of the closet,
right?
And, um, I guess that just made
all his passion for law
just go away, so,
now he's a hair stylist.
And has, like,
$200,000 of student loans.
Ooh, ouch.
Yeah, good move.
Um...
Actually, he's...
He's really awesome,
but he's crazy, too.
How about you?
What's that?
You have any, like,
crazy family or anything?
I don't really have a lot
of family, actually.
It's just, uh,
me and uncle John.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Does he get mad or, like,
have a drinking problem
or something?
No.
He's the best.
Hey, John.
You all right there?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Just tired, is all.
Okay.
Well, I wanted to come by
and, uh, check on you real quick
and see if you seen Danny Miller
around here any time lately.
No.
Okay.
Keep an eye out.
We found his truck
over at scoob's this morning.
Big, old handgun
sitting on the seat.
We got everyone
out looking for him right now,
but I just thought I'd come by
and make sure you're safe.
You might want to take
some extra precautions,
you know.
And give me a shout
if he does come around, okay?
It sure is a healthy one.