Undercover Brother (2002) Movie Script
Narrator:
After a generation of struggle
changed the face of our nation,
African Americans
entered the '70s
with new found hope.
- I am...
- I am...
- somebody!
- "somebody!"
Vibrant leaders emerged
and black culture reached
its high point,
influencing all facets
of American life.
## Say it louder... ##
Audience:
## "I'm black and I'm proud" ##
Let me hear you-
## Say it louder... ##
But progress slowed
in the decades that followed.
Black culture began to lose
its distinctive flavor.
And as the millennium
drew to a close,
disaster struck.
These seemingly random events
were in fact orchestrated
by The Man,
a villain obsessed
with turning back the clock
on race relations.
Just when it seemed
the funky spirit
of the '7 Os
would be lost forever,
a new hero emerged.
His name, Undercover Brother.
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off this sucka" ##
## You've got a reaI type
of thang going down ##
## Getting down ##
## There's a whole lot
of rhythm going round ##
## Whoa! We want the funk ##
## Give up the funk
Ah, we need the funk... ##
Give it to me.
Need it, got to have it.
- ## We need the funk ##
- We need the funk.
- ## "Gotta have the funk" ##
- Say!
## La-la-la-ya-ya ##
## Do-do-do-do-do... ##
## "Turn this mother out... " ##
It ain't no thang.
Yeah.
A bird gonna shit
on my windshield?!
Not on my Cadillac!
I'm gonna chop your feathers
off and put you in Chinatown!
They gonna make
Peking Pigeon out of you!
Damn!
Unbeknownst
to Undercover Brother,
there was a secret organization
dedicated to truth,
justice,
and the Afro-American way.
They had never crossed paths
until now.
Headquarters, come in.
Good work, Sistah GirI.
Data from the mainframe
ready to commence.
- She's transmitting! Are we up and ready?
- Yes, sir.
And I've hacked into
the bank security system.
Computer:
You've got soul.
- We're in.
- "Aha!"
The computer!
Another idea stolen from the black man.
Did you all know that
George Washington Carver
made the first computer
out of a peanut?
- Hmm?
- A peanut?
- A peanut!
- Shut up and get back to work!
I've spent six months
setting up this operation
and I want
to see everything-
off-shore accounts,
dummy corporations, money laundering.
If we can cut off his funds,
we may finally be able
to stop The Man.
Waited a long time for this.
- What the hell?
- What the hell?
- What the-
- "Dissed. "
- Ah, solid.
- "Hey!"
What the hell
are you doing, old man?
Whoa!
- Headquarters...
- is there another agent on this case?
- Hell, no!
Damn it, who is that guy?
I'll cross-reference the bank's
security camera with our database.
Guard 1:
Come on, Uncle Ben!
Whoa!
Oh, shit!
It's Macy Gray
with pork-chop sideburns!
Who's bad?
Ohh! Right up
the pooper!
Right on, sweet sistah.
Chief:
Damn it, who is he?!
Sistah GirI, abort mission!
Damn it.
Who was that guy?
## "Hey, Undercover" ##
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
- Solid.
## "Here's the plan-"
"he's got to fight the man" ##
## "And he's looking fine"
"when he goes head to head" ##
- ## "Dig those funky threads" ##
- ## "Wears his daddy's black" "medallion" ##
## "And it stands for pride" ##
## "Truth and justice"
"be your guide" ##
- ## "He's bad" ##
- ## "All he does is good" ##
## "He's the Robin Hood"
"of the 'hood" ##
## "Hey-hey, Undercover" ##
- "Solid. "
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
## Dressed to kill
in the Coupe Deville ##
## "Oh, hey!" ##
- ## "Undercover" ##
- "Too funky for myself. "
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
- ## "Undercover Brother. " ##
Yeah.
Announcer:
Mr. Feather, The Man wants to see you.
Fabulous.
Newscaster: And now, the Channel
and Chuck Marlboro.
There's growing speculation that
former defense secretary and war hero,
GeneraI Warren Boutwell,
will run for President.
He is considered
the first African-American
with a legitimate chance
of winning.
Wendy? Yeah, he is a
strong candidate, Chuck.
He's so well-spoken.
I've noticed that.
General Boutwell seems to have
a lot of support all across the nation.
Yes, and not just
in the urban areas.
In fact, the decorated
four-star general and Vietnam vet
is regarded
as one of the country's
most well-respected
public figures.
General:
Thank you very much.
A staunch advocate
for civil rights,
Boutwell has never backed down
from controversial issues.
Indeed, if ever there was a
straighter arrow than Warren Boutwell,
we'd be hard-pressed
to find him.
Well, if he does declare
his candidacy,
this certainly will be
an exciting race.
Race? I'm not
touching that one.
First, our children hip-hop
all over the suburbs.
Now Boutwell
might be President?!
They are taking over
every aspect of our culture!
- Don't you agree, Mr. Feather?
- Word.
- For sheezy, my neezy.
- What did you say?
I said... for sure.
Yes, indeedy.
I have a cold.
I want the White House
to stay white.
Eliminate him!
But, sir,
if we kill him,
we'll only be
making him a hero.
Do you have a better idea?
Our friends
at Multinational Inc.
have been developing
a new drug
with some very interesting side effects.
I think we may have found
the perfect guinea pig.
Newscaster: The so called Afro
Bandit struck Multinational Bank.
However, it appears
no money was stolen.
Authorities questioned
singer Macy Gray,
but she was released
for lack of evidence.
Well, would anybody
like to explain exactly
what the hell happened
at the bank?!
His name
is Undercover Brother.
Apparently, he was erasing
mortgage records
so that low-income families
wouldn't lose their homes.
Sistah Girl:
Great.
A "Soul Train" reject
with a Robin Hood complex.
- Now I've heard everything.
- Hey, hey, hey, now.
At least he got
the job done.
- That's the kind of man we need around here.
- The keyword being "man"?
Hold on.
I didn't say that, you did.
Man-man.
The General's
press conference is starting!
Newscaster:
We interrupt this broadcast to take you live
to a press conference
by General Warren Boutwell,
in which he is expected
to announce
that he is a candidate
for presidency of the United States.
I wonder if he'll run
as a Democrat or an Independent.
- Never know. Might be a Republican.
- Oh, please.
What kind of self-respecting black man
would run
as a Republican?
Name one thing
the Republican party
has done
for black people. One!
Well, they were
the party of Lincoln.
They stood against
the tyranny of oppression
by leading the call
for the Civil War,
and forced passage
of the Emancipation Proclamation,
which freed the slaves.
All right,
name two things lately.
Damn it, It doesn't matter
what party!
This could be the first step
on the road to putting
an African-American
in the White House.
It's a great day
for black people of all races.
- General: "Good morning. "
- Think about it!
I've thought long and hard about how
I can best serve my country
now that I'm no longer in uniform.
Well, today...
I am proud to announce
that I will be...
opening a chain
of fried chicken restaurants.
General Boutwell!
Yes, sir.
So, you're passing up a chance
to be President
to open a chicken joint?
A man like me doesn't have
any business in politics.
They say you should
always do what you know.
And what I know
is good fried chicken.
- Ohh...
- GeneraI: "Yes, ma'am. "
Don't you think your supporters
in the African-American community
will be particularly disappointed?
Not after they taste
the General's fried chicken.
General: Surrender, Colonel,
here comes the General.
- "Will there be side dishes?"
- Sweet potatoes...
black-eyed peas,
- "mashed potatoes, macaroni... "
- Mmm.
cornbread,
and the General's special...
hot sauce!
That's all for today.
Thank you very much.
Nice to see you all.
Reporter:
General, what about desert?
You know, he does have a
point about that Colonel.
I never trusted
the ColoneI!
Slaves cooked that chicken!
Ain't no white man know
about no 16 herbs
and spices and giblets!
Smart Brother,
if you so damn smart,
- "why don't you explain"
what just happened?
If I wanted to hear something stupid,
- I'd ask this skinny black ass!
- In your face!
Skinny black- Hey!
We got to find out exactly what happened
to the General, and fast!
I'll get right on it.
Whoa, hold on.
Not that fast. We need
some new blood on this case.
What? Who? You can't just hire
some fooI off the streets.
Watch me.
Get me Undercover Brother!
Ooh, too funky for myself.
Man on TV: You were the
only man outside the palace.
- "I was outside. "
- Jimmy!
- But I wasn't the only one.
- "Jim Kelly!"
- It is not possible.
- Watch out for the hand! Watch out for the hand!
Gets you every time!
Spinning back-kick!
I think I'll lay down
and get me a little bit
of sleep.
Don't touch the hair!
Okay, Bruce Leroy,
turn around.
Slowly.
If you gonna shoot me,
shoot me.
Thank you, Jesus.
Hmm.
Dig it.
You that Sistah GirI
from the bank, huh?
I guess you like
what you saw earlier.
Look, baby, let's stop fooling around.
Your body's slammin',
let's get to jammin'.
Excuse me?
Oh, nothing relaxes a brother
after a hard day of going undercover
like a little piece of the cookie.
Goddamn. My cookie
would break you in half.
Maybe, but that would be
some long division.
Long.
You hit me pretty good,
but I wasn't ready.
Now, any time you think you
want to get feisty or throw down-
So, Sistah Girl,
if you're not here
for Undercover Lover,
you must be here
for Undercover Brother.
What, pray tell,
can I do for you today?
Sistah GirI:
Okay, we're here. Now be cool.
- "This place is top secret. "
- Undercover Brother: "Solid. "
Man:
Man, you know you ain't right.
Whoo-oo!
I'm gonna need
my custom shears
for this masterpiece.
CarefuI. Puncture him
and the hot air's liable to kill you.
- Sistah GirI: "Take a seat. "
- "Don't mind if I do. "
- We're gonna hook you right up.
- Holy funkadelic!
This is some kind
of secret organization
you have here.
Look at all this hi-tech
spy equipment.
You got clippers,
you got T.C.B. activator.
I mean, your only competition
must be the K.G.B.
Or the F.B.I.
Who the hell are you, woman?
You're the Grim Reaper!
I don't want to go to hell!
I ain't never did
nothing but good!
I swear to God
I ain't done nothing wrong!
Oh, come on.
The flashing light and fan
make the drop seem worse than it is.
I knew that.
Mm-hmm.
Computerized voice:
Entering secure area.
Stand here.
Right here?
Computer:
Blackness confirmed. You got soul.
What I'm about to show you
few people have ever seen before.
Would Agent Jefferson please pick up
the black courtesy phone?
Agents report
to the ready room.
Welcome
to the Brotherhood.
Solid.
Yes, I know.
I really don't want to talk about this
over the telephone.
Perhaps we could meet
at a secret location?
Okay. No, that sounds great.
All right. Revolution.
Take care.
Man:
"The revolution will not be televised. "
- This is Undercover Brother.
- Hey, how you doing?
Good morning!
Good morning?
Get on the desk!
You brought
a spy around me?!
Spy in the building!
- Don't touch the 'fro.
- Back up off!
- Back up off "me!"
- Let me tell you something about the word "good. "
Good is an ancient
Anglo-Saxon word.
Go-od, meaning
the absence of color,
i. e.-
"It's all good,"
which it is,
or "Good Will Hunting,"
meaning,
"I'm hunting niggas!"
So if you say "good morning" to me,
you're saying,
"I'm gonna kill your black ass
first thing in the morning!"
- "Is that that damn Undercover Brother?!"
- You in trouble.
- Where the hell have you been?!
- Hey.
This is a job, not some kind
of damn summer camp!
And I'm tired of you
disrespecting me!
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't fire your sorry ass!
Because I don't work for you?
Shut up!
Save your smart comments
for the chunky brother in the smock!
Now get in my office!
Congratulations, Mr. Feather.
Thank you, Mister...
The Man.
As you can see,
the GeneraI is totally under our controI.
The Man:
Yes, our little experiment was a success.
In fact, I've decided to use the General
to launch "Operation Whitewash. "
Fabulous. I'll inform Multinational
to step up production.
The only thing standing
in our way is the Brotherhood.
And they won't be a problem,
will they, Feather?
No, sir.
Good.
Uh, will they, Feather?
"New one from Britney-"
## "Oh-oh" ##
## "Ooo-mmm" ##
## "Let's get it crunk upon,"
"have fun upon" ##
## "Up in this dancery" ##
## "We got ya open, now ya floatin'" ##
## "So you gots to dance for me" ##
## "Come on, everybody, get on up" ##
## "'Cause you know we got"
"to get it crunk" ##
What am I doing?!
And that's why we believe
there's got to be
some connection between
the GeneraI's announcement and The Man.
Come on, y'all.
Y'all telling me there's really "a" Man?
What do you think,
Undercover Brother?
If that is your real name.
You think things
just happen by accident?
No! Sometimes people,
mostly white people,
make things happen.
That's where we come in
and our never ending struggle
against The Man,
a. k.a. Whitey,
a. k.a. Mr. Charlie,
a. k.a. Honky McGee.
So, the conspiracies we've believed
for all these years are really true?
The N.B.A. really instituted
the three-point shot
to give white boys a chance?
Smart Brother: Absolutely.
So the entertainment industry
really "is" out to get Spike Lee.
- Is that right?
- Come on, man!
Even Cher got an Oscar.
Cher-rr!
And O.J. really
didn't do it?
Let's just move on,
shall we?
Holy moly, looks like
the Source Awards in here.
Ow!
It does now.
- Hurting.
- Who's that?
Sistah GirI:
Oh, this is Lance, our intern.
Lance, this is
Undercover Brother.
What's happening?
Whas-ssup?!
Okay, how did
the white boy get a job
here at the Brotherhood?
Shit. What can I tell you?
Affirmative action.
What? Here we go.
Oh, boy.
Open up the window.
It's getting all racial
up in this piece.
Look here,
Undercover Brother,
now that
you're working for us,
you're gonna need to memorize
our rules and regulations.
Trim the hair, and for God's sake,
get rid of the clothes.
Slow your roll, Chief.
You know, I respect
what y'all are doing here
at the Brotherhood,
but I'm a firm believer in
everybody should do their own thang.
## What a boy wants,
what a boy needs ##
## Whatever... ##
## Free... ##
Okay, he should never
do his own thang.
I'm getting too old
for this shit.
Conspiracy Brother: I said, "You'd better
open the bank and give me my money. "
Yeah?
"It's my money.
I don't care whose bank it is!"
Right.
I know whose money is in
it. I'm keeping it reaI.
- That's all I'm saying.
- Hi, Conspiracy Brother.
"Hi"?
What you mean, "Hi"?
Like, "Hi, y'all
want to be white?"
High, like the white man
wants to keep us? Huh?
You don't smell
no weed on me, did you?
Hey, brother, can I get a list
of the words
that trigger these fits?
Man, you really need
to relax.
- Go see a movie.
- A movie?
A movie.
Come on, man!
So I can fall in love
with some cute black man
that teaches white people everything
they know about the shrimp industry
before they kill him
"Hey, why don't you walk down
that tunnel, black man?
Hey, black man,
turn on the generator.
This dinosaur is out there.
Hey, black man, look out.
He's got a gun!"
Oh! I'm hit!
But my vest caught it, bitch!
Yes, I'm alive!
I told you to keep your finger
off the trigger of that thing!
I'm cool, everybody.
- Undercover Brother, please.
- "Go on back to work. "
- Sorry about all that.
- "I shit on myself!"
I have a couple
of things for you.
Here are your shoes. I took the
liberty of making a few modifications.
Whoo!
And now, am I correct in
assuming that the Cadillac
that was double-parked
in the parking lot belongs to you?
Smart Brother,
that is not just a Caddy.
That is a Cadillac
Coupe DeVille.
Conspiracy Brother: Y'all don't give
a shit about me! I need a sponge bath.
Smart Brother:
That's an orange soda dispenser.
And a crossover amp
and subwoofer for your eight-track.
Ah, man. Smart Brother,
you's a bad mother-
Shut your mouth!
Enjoy, huh?
All right.
Big car, big hair, big necklace.
Someone is clearly
overcompensating.
First of all, you forgot about
my big, black, fuzzy balls.
And secondly,
this is not a necklace,
it's a medallion
given to me by my father
so I never forget who I am
or what I stand for.
I don't need no gold.
Don't need no jewels.
- The medallion
keeps me cooI. You dig?
Chief: "Sistah Girl,"
Undercover Brother, come in.
What it is, Chief?
We've just discovered
that the General is playing golf
with some of Multinational's
head honchos.
Now, you get yo ass down there
and see what you can find out!
And by the way,
Undercover Screw Up,
don't let me catch your black ass
in the news again.
You hear me?!
I want you to blend in!
Chiefie, baby,
I'm a master of disguises.
I can blend in like a good weave.
- "Say, where's that caddy?"
- "I don't know. "
Oh, there he is.
Uh... um-
Jah mon, rasta.
"Nice shot. "
Sistah Girl,
the camera's up.
Would anyone like
some fried chicken?
Mm-mmm.
Sistah GirI:
Mr. Feather.
Undercover Brother?
We're definitely
on the right track.
That's the number one
flunkey of The Man.
I'm gonna report to the Chief,
find out what he wants to do.
That cat'll be long gone
by that time.
This thing's
going down now, baby.
This is strictly
an observationaI mission.
We are not authorized
to take action.
Well, observe this.
Action is what
Undercover Brother's all about.
Hmm. Rasta man.
Oh, the mind control
formula is complete.
- "Who's there?"
- "Kung!"
Kung who?
Kung fool!
Ow, my wrist.
Help! Thief!
There's a thief here!
- What the hell is your problem?
- Give me back my things!
Thief!
Hey, give me that back!
Hey!
Hold it!
Holy Motown.
- Come on.
- You don't want to mess with me, man!
I had 'em, baby.
Yeah, I saw.
Come on, let's go!
Come on!
Stop where you are!
This is security!
- Do not move!
- Quick! This way!
Aw, hell, they moved.
Do it.
Code 37.
Oh-oh!
- Is he crazy?
- Okay, slow down!
"Slow, slow, slow. "
Hey, slow down
over there, people!
Hold the wheel, baby.
- No! No!
- Oh, no!
Oh, jeez!
Too fast!
Losing control!
- There's got to be another way out of here.
- "Hold it!"
Thanks for the lift.
Smart Brother: A spectral
analysis has ironically confirmed
traces of poultry
on Mr. Feather.
This proves that
The Man must be behind
Multinational Inc. 's deal
with the General.
I don't get it. What does The
Man got to do with fried chicken?
Is that his big plan,
to get black people to eat junk food?
Open your eyes,
Undercover Brother!
This has to do with
discrediting the GeneraI.
That is the white man's tactic.
He don't want
no black President.
You've seen it
all through history.
They never give
black men credit.
Jesus Christ...
black man.
Babe Ruth...
black man.
Madonna!
Sleeps with black men.
Think about it.
So the GeneraI
sold out to The Man.
I don't think
it's that simple.
When you're dealing
with The Man, it never is.
Our only choice here
is to infiltrate Multinational Inc.
Then we can find out
what happened to the General.
It'll be a very
dangerous assignment.
It'll be your most
vigorous training yet.
You're gonna have to think and act
just like a tight-butt white man
with a 401K plan
and a country club membership.
So pay attention.
Here...
have a bite of this...
sandwich.
How did you know I was hungry?
I ain't eat nothing
this morning.
- You trying to kill me?
- If you're going to pass in white America,
you are going to have
to learn to like mayonnaise!
No!
Listen...
if you're ever forced
to eat this mayonnaise,
simply press the button
on this side of the watch.
It delivers a rather liberaI
spritzing of hot sauce.
One blast should be enough
to make Caucasian food edible.
Well, it works on grits.
Now, since time
is of the essence,
I developed a device
that allows you
to absorb the whole
of white culture
in mere seconds
using subliminal imagery.
I call it...
Caucasiavision.
Hey, I feel like George Clinton.
## We want the funk. ##
Turn it on.
## Here we go one more time ##
## "Everybody's feeling fine" ##
- ## "Here we go now" ##
- ## "Yes, yes, here we go" ##
- ## "'N Sync has got to flow... " ##
- No!
## "Get to the beat,"
"we've got everything you need... " ##
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
## "Yes, here we go... " ##
Don't you
give up on me!
I see white people.
It's too much!
Too much!
Caucasian overload!
Caucasian overload.
Breathe.
Caucasian overload!
Breathe.
Breathe. Breathe.
That's too much white
for one brother to take.
You did good.
We need to make sure
the process worked,
so I called in an expert
on white culture.
"In season three
of 'Friends,'
what object of Julia's
did Ross see on his bedside table
the night
he kissed RacheI?"
Her saline solution.
He's ready.
Hi, there.
How are you doing?
What do you say there?
Howdy.
May I help you?
I sincerely hope so.
Today's my first day
at Multinational.
Oh, my.
Jackson.
Anton Jackson.
And no, not one
of the Jackson Five.
Here we go. You're in
suite 54. Tobacco division.
We need some fresh,
hip strategies to expand
our market share.
As it turns out,
I have just the product.
Here's one
of your cigarettes.
Take a good look at
it.
It's pale, small,
a little on the limp side.
It's basically inadequate.
It can't possibly give much
pleasure to the user.
- It sure can't.
- I mean, ask yourselves,
how many black people
are gonna want to smoke this?
- Not the one I know.
- "You have to effectively position"
your product
within the black consumer.
May I present to you
The Fatty?
Hmm? It's got that
hand-rolled look and feeI
that's so popular
with today's black youth.
It's big. It's full
of long-lasting pleasure
to be enjoyed again...
I could use a smoke.
Yeah? Good.
It's time to say goodbye
to Anton Jackson...
and say what it is
to Undercover Brother.
Whee-hee!
Now, that's
a long way down.
Hey!
Come in, Brotherhood.
Are you digging me?
Undercover Brother.
I'll transmit some
computer files about the General.
- See what you can do with it.
- Smart Brother: "Right on. "
The chief wants you to stay undercover
until we decode this information.
- I can dig it.
- But be carefuI.
If they're onto you,
they might set up a trap.
I know this
is the wrong time,
but I wanted to let
you know,
I'm thinking about you, girl.
I'm bouncin'.
Shakin' a spot.
- Gone.
- Bye.
Bye.
Mr. Elias,
there's been a breach!
That afro!
I'd recognize it
anywhere.
The Brotherhood
is making their move.
Just as I expected.
It's time to release
our secret weapon.
I call it...
Black Man's kryptonite.
## "I want to be bad" ##
## "Make that look so good" ##
## "I've got things on my mind" ##
## "I never thought I would" ##
## "I want to be bad" ##
## "You make me feel so good" ##
- ## "I'm losing all my cool... " ##
- How's it going there?
What the hell?
Oh, dear.
Oh, what am I gonna do?
My gosh.
Look at this mess.
Oh, dear.
I'm so sorry.
Let me help you.
Jeez, that's sweet of you.
If I mess up my boss' report,
he's gonna have a conniption
with a capital K.
- Oh.
- Penelope Snow.
Anton Jackson.
I'm so sorry. Here.
Thanks, Anton.
You're so sweet.
And cute, too.
In a Theo Huxtable kind of way.
Are you new here?
Yeah, it's my first day.
Mine too.
- Really?
- Yeah, I just moved here
bringing nothing by my hopes
and my dreams.
But sometimes the big city
can be so...
...big.
A girl needs friends, Anton.
Would you like to be my friend?
Penelope:
## "We all know" ##
## "That people are the same"
"wherever you go" ##
## There is good and bad ##
## "In everyone... " ##
Hey.
## When we learn
to live ##
## We learn to give each other ##
## What we need
to survive ##
## Together alive ##
Both:
## Ebony and ivory ##
## Live together
in perfect harmony ##
## Side by side
on my piano keyboard ##
## Oh, Lord ##
## Why don't we? ##
Yeah!
Yeah!
## Ivory ##
## Ebony ##
## Oh-oh ##
## Ivory ##
## Ebony. ##
Penelope: I didn't know you
had such a beautiful voice.
You know, you and I
have tons in common.
I know what it feels like
to be discriminated against.
I mean, just because a girI
has a healthy sexual appetite,
doesn't mean
she can't do her job.
- Uh-huh.
- They look at you
and all they see
is a threatening black man.
And they look at me,
and all they see
are my full breasts
and my narrow waist
that tapers
to my pert backside.
It's just not fair.
Huh-uh.
- Here you go, folks.
- Yum.
- And here's the extra mayonnaise you ordered.
- Yum, yum.
- "Enjoy. "
- This is the best stuff.
Have you eaten
here before, Anton?
No, I haven't.
It's my first time.
Oh, take a bite
of my sandwich.
Come on, Anton.
Just one little bite.
Scrumptious.
Penelope:
Oh, Anton,
I can't wait to see you
in these corduroys.
You're gonna
make me blush.
And you might not see it!
May I help you, sir?
Hello, fellow person of color.
How's it going today?
- What's going down?
- What are you doing with that girl?
- What girl?
- That girl!
- Oh, the white woman.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm undercover.
When you go undercover, you have
to do things you wouldn't normally do.
No matter how difficult,
how dangerous,
how good it might have felt.
Like having sex with white girls?
Damn it, woman,
would you just back off?!
Computerized voice:
Attention angry black man in khakis.
Golly, I must have tripped
or something.
Hi, Ton-ja.
Listen...
I was wondering,
do you have any dickies?
'Cause I couldn't
find them.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Perhaps we're all "sold out. "
Aw, that's too bad.
Come on, Anton.
I saw a mock turtleneck
at Eddie Bauer
that's perfect for you.
Thanks for all your help.
Bye-bye, Ton-ja.
Bye-bye.
And action!
I want you...
to buy my new
fried chicken, that is.
Sure enough.
I used to work
for the Pentagon,
now I help you to get
your chicken on.
And for a limited time only,
order an eight-piece
Nappy MeaI,
and get a 32-ounce
malt liquor absolutely free.
- ## You be buyin' ##
- ## "Yeah, yeah" ##
- ## We be frying ##
- Woo-woo!
## "General's chicken" ##
## "The best chicken"
"in the 'hood" ##
## Yeah, yeah ##
- ## Legs, breasts and thighs ##
- Mm-hmm.
## "Sweet potato pies" ##
- ## "General's Fried Chicken" ##
- GeneraI: "Lord have mercy. "
## "General's Fried Chicken" ##
## "It's butt kickin'" ##
## "General's Fried" ##
## "You know it tastes so good" ##
Announcer:
Introducing the Nappy Meal from G.F.C.
This chicken is the bomb.
At the General's,
we do chicken right-on!
Will you look at that?
The General's lost
his damn mind.
He's making a fool
out of himself over this crap.
Lance:
## "General's Fried Chicken" ##
## "It's butt kickin'" ##
## Hey, hey ##
What?
It's catchy.
Reminds me
of the Fresh Prince.
I like him.
He raps happy.
Chief: Excuse me, sir. This is a restricted
- good God!
- Heya, Chiefster. Lance.
- Nice pants.
- Undercover Brother?
- Undercover Brother?
- What happened to you?
- He had sex with a white girl, that's what!
Was it everything I
dreamed of? It was good.
She had pink nipples?
Big ones.
- Yeah, big ones.
- Yeah.
Chief: "Her carpet" matched
her drapes? Excuse me?
- No, man. You can't be doing that.
- What were you doing?
- White girl or no white girl,
where the hell have you been?
- Not there,
'cause that's where people who swear go.
Thank you very much.
You sound like
a 14-year-old white chick.
I don't think so, Sister GirI.
It's Sistah Girl, "dude. "
Maybe on Planet Ebonics.
But where I come from,
we like to pronounce
our E's and our R's,
thank you very much.
E's and R's?
Ebonics, huh?
I be thinking
that somebody in this room
is selling out.
I say we kill him.
Shut the door, nigga.
Shh, it's gonna be
all right, baby. Don't look!
I'm sorry, dawg, but you need
- Hey, buddy,
if I hadn't read that article in
"Vanity Fair" on anger management,
I'd put away this guava-
mango-broccoli smoothie
- and put my foot in your patootie.
- Patootie?
Now maybe you guys
don't like the new me,
but I don't give a gosh darn.
For all I care,
you can all get
the beejeebies out of here.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I must be going.
"Frasier" is on.
"Frasier"?
Beejeebies?
He said he would stick his foot
up my so-called "patootie. "
Damn it.
I knew this could happen.
You can only keep
an agent undercover for so long
before he loses his identity.
Hell, no man can resist
low interest loans
and non-fat lattes forever.
And white women.
So wait,
let me get this straight.
Whenever a black guy does well,
starts wearing Dockers,
buys a few Celine Dion records,
and sleeps with a white chick,
you automatically
say he's sold out?
That's enough!
Always trying to shut
the white man down.
That's right!
That's right!
- Oh, that ain't right.
- Sistah Girl: "What's the word?"
I was able to decode
the data from MultinationaI Inc.
The General is under
the influence
of a psycho-
hallucinogenic drug.
It's a mind controI drug, sir.
Very powerful.
Very easy to use.
Good Lord.
With something like that, The Man could
controI every black person in America.
Theoretically, yes, but it would take years
to administer the doses individually.
To be efficient,
you'd need to develop
a huge distribution system.
The chicken!
I hate to say it,
if Undercover Brother
don't get his shit together,
this may be one battle
we might lose to The Man.
Smart Brother,
am I gonna die?
## "Dumps like a truck-"
"truck, truck" ##
## "All night long" ##
## "Let me see that thong" ##
Honey?
Yeah?
Is this Michael Bolton's
version of that "thong song?"
No, but I want that one.
I hear he got all the funk
that Sisqo missed.
Do you like this?
You know, usually I'm not
into the heavy stuff,
but this is kinda catchy.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
- I made us some sandwiches.
- Extra mayo for me, please.
Freeze, sucka!
Put down
the mayonnaise...
slowly.
It's that colored girl,
Ton-ja.
Now, Buffy the Black Man Slayer,
step away from the brotha.
- Bye, brother.
- Come on.
- Bye.
- "Move it. "
- Be careful.
- Let's go.
Why? So you can tell me
what a sellout I am again?
Oh, I don't judge people
by how they dress,
or what music
they listen to.
But I remember a brother
who wasn't afraid to be himself,
who taught me to follow
my own funky path,
stand up for
what I think is right.
Remember this?
Penelope:
Ignore her, Anton.
I'm all the single white female
you'll ever need.
I want to. Really, I do.
All day, but I can't.
I must be true to myself.
Look at that white girI.
Are you crazy?
The darker the berry,
the sweeter the juice.
Corduroys
are so comfortable.
Got to get funky.
## Hey, macarena,
all right! ##
I can't throw this away.
'Cause like this medallion...
this brother's here to stay.
What's up, Sistah Girl?
Look at you!
What took you so long?
- You don't think the heels are too much?
- No, it's funktabulous.
- 'Cause I was gonna go-
- "Hold it right there... "
Undercover Brother.
Drop it!
- This woman just can't get-
- I meant the gun.
That's White She-Devil,
The Man's secret weapon.
Sorry.
It's time to...
platform out of here.
Damn duck shoes.
Looks like
we're in hot water.
Or hot sauce.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
It's not fair.
'N Sync!
Backstreet Boys!
And Boyz II Men!
We really sing!
Elton John!
Billie Jean King!
## "Look at her" ##
## "She's a bad mama jama" ##
## "Just as fine as she can be" ##
## "She's a bad mama jama... " ##
Come on, White She-Devil.
I been waiting.
Come on, baby.
Come on!
## "Her body measurements are perfect"
"in every dimension" ##
## "She's got a figure"
"that's gonna bring attention" ##
## "She's poetry in motion" ##
## "A beautiful sight to see" ##
## "I get so excited"
"viewing her anatomy" ##
## "She's built-"
"oh, she's dynamic... " ##
- No, you didn't.
- "Yes, I did. "
Bitch!
You know how much
this shit cost?
How much did this shit cost,
you disco queen?!
- All of this!
- How dare you!
Hey!
Undercover Brother:
Touch it. Now looky here.
Whew! Whew, baby!
Toast to the booty!
Booty toast.
Oh, yeah!
Wait! Look at that.
## "... She's mighty mighty,"
"just letting it all hang out" ##
## "She's a brickhouse" ##
## "The lady's stacked,"
"and that's a fact" ##
## "Ain't holding nothing back" ##
## "Ow, she's a brickhouse... " ##
The water's cold.
Water cold!
## "Now we're together,"
"everybody knows" ##
## "This is how the story goes... " ##
Nothin' like safe sex,
you know what I'm saying?
Look at that.
Look at that there.
Bitch!
You enjoy yourself?
Would you stop
fooling around?
Got to get my cool back!
Can you play something funky
for a brother to drive to?
Drive!
Drive this thing!
Baby, it was made
in the '70s.
This ain't no Ferrari.
## "Jungle boogie" ##
## "Jungle boogie... " ##
Damn.
Look out, baby.
## "Jungle boogie" ##
## "Get up with the get down" ##
## "Jungle boogie" ##
- ## "Jungle boogie" ##
- ## "Oh yeah" ##
## "Jungle boogie... " ##
You should have run
her narrow ass over.
So, this has all been
some kind of jive game
- to get me out of the way?
- "That's right. "
I was sent to destroy you
and everything
the Brotherhood stands for.
Damn it.
Falling in love with you
wasn't part of the plan.
Mmm.
Oh, Undercover Brother,
you're too much man for me.
Baby...
sometimes I'm too much man
for my own damn self.
Mr. Feather,
your status report, please.
All the pieces of Operation
Whitewash are in place.
Good. It's time
to extend the reach
to black leaders
in sports, the arts,
entertainment and business.
Soon all aspects of society
will once again be dominated
by The Man.
It's time to strike
the finaI blow
against the Brotherhood.
So, when I return to the lair,
Undercover Brother
better be dead.
- Are we clear?
- "Very good, sir. "
With Undercover
Brother dead,
the Brotherhood
had best step correct,
or their next move
will be their last.
Goodbye.
Can I ask you something?
Did I just say,
"They had best
step correct"?
Yes, sir. You did.
You see what's happening?
You see how we're
being corrupted by their
hip-and-now fashion,
and their cool slang
you can't help but use.
"Don't be dissing me!"
- No!
- "It's all that!"
You go, girI!
What's the dillio?
Who let the dogs out?
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Whatcha talk about,
Willis?
- You know what I'm saying?!
- Uh...
Little by little we're blending
and merging until one day
we're all going to be
one united people
living and working
and dancing together,
like the news or "Ally McBeal,"
or the people that work at Saturn!
And we've got to stop it
before it's too late!
You heard The Man.
As of now,
Operation Whitewash
goes global.
Chief: Jay-Z is doing
Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits?!
John Singleton to remake
"Driving Miss Daisy"?!
Terry McMillan? "How Stella
Got Her White Man Back"?
Double damn it!
Black people all over
the world are losing their damn minds.
And look-
they've all been exposed
to the General's fried chicken.
Smart Brother, how's it coming
with this antidote?
I found one. But it only
works on one person at a time.
We have to stop
this thing at the source.
Undercover Brother,
you're back!
Hi.
Hell's wrong with you bringing
a white girl in my house?
She's working
with us now, Chief.
With my extensive
and intimate knowledge
of The Man's organization,
I can help you stop his evil plan.
Okay.
Smart Brother,
take White She-Devil to the lab
and find out exactly
what she knows.
You know, you're cute in
a Theo Huxtable kind of way.
Really? Usually
I get Al Roker.
"Here's what's happening
in your neck of the woods. "
Chief,
various brother agents,
I owe all of you
a huge apology.
I just watched this show...
"Roots"?
Maybe you've heard of it?
It taught me such
a profound lesson about bigotry.
I have sat on the sidelines
of race relations long enough.
I want to march down
that field of oppression
and kick that ball of bigotry
right over the goalpost
of intolerance.
Son, you talk a lot of shit. Yes, I do.
But you down.
What?
Are you kidding?
You're going to let the white boy
join just like that?
I was in secret agent school
for three years!
Three years.
I paid for them classes myself.
- You made me.
- Smart Brother: "Chief. Chief. "
I performed a full range
spectral analysis
on Miss White She-Devil's
brain waves.
Then, I unlocked
her subconscious
using a special form
of hypnosis.
Then, I gently brushed
her hair.
Then, I reached
deep within
her tight little pockets
and I found a list
of The Man's targets.
Good Lord.
They're going after
James Brown
tomorrow night
at the Grammys.
We need to stop him.
Find the General and give him the antidote.
That's right.
It's goin' to the streets. Hey, y'all!
It's revolution
up in this bitch!
Set the alarm
to def-con five!
It's on, baby. It's on.
- "Good work, White She-Devil. "
- Thanks.
Oh, you in too.
What the fuck?! Chief!
I never see that bitch
in my secret agent classes!
I'm still paying
the loans off, man!
I sleep
on a pissy mattress.
I ain't got
good food to eat!
I borrow money
for my weed!
I quit.
That's it.
Y'all don't got Conspiracy Brother
Jones to kick around anymore!
Give me a pillow case!
I'm joining the Klan.
Brother, we all love
your solo enthusiasm,
but this is about
working together.
Now, I've been a solo star
shooting the shots
that I thought
would win the game.
But in workin' with y'all,
I've come to realize
that only a team wins
a championship.
Chief:
Teamwork! That's right.
That's right.
I'm sorry, everybody.
Teamwork!
Now, let's go!
Hustle, hustle!
Come on, white girI!
Sistah Girl:
Best of luck tonight.
Have a great time.
We know The Man plans
to make his move tonight.
Now, Lance,
we're counting on you.
Don't get distracted,
be focused.
Stick close to the target
at all times.
Roger. Will do.
Boo.
Ah.
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, James Brown.
- How you doing?
- "James Brown. "
- "I want to see my fans. "
- No, it's okay.
Wait a minute.
What's going on?
Perimeter search.
I'm on it.
What is that boy doing?
- "What's going on here?"
- Hey, Jimmy.
What?
Now, "I" feeI good.
God, man!
Sistah Girl:
Lance. Lance!
Announcer: The hardest
working man in show business.
Go get him.
Announcer:
Thank you, James Brown.
No! Hey!
I just got promoted!
Mr. Feather:
Hello, Mr. James Brown.
Hello-ooo, Mr. James Brown.
Ah!
Good God!
You will soon be administered
a drug that will make you...
The signal's stopped.
It's James Brown touchdown!
- That's James Brown?
- That's mustard.
I can't believe I let him
get away. I am so stupid.
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
You got to stop
beating yourself up.
We got to work together
as a team, okay?
Yeah, man.
Let the team do it.
I'm playin' with him.
Stop playin'.
Hey!
Damn.
Hey, dawg. Hey.
You need to lighten up.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Just be carefuI with this.
If you smoke too much,
it's going to have you
all paranoid and shit.
It takes time to build up
a tolerance like mine-
What? Did you hear that?
Shh. Shh.
Hey, y'all,
did you hear something?
Shh, quiet!
There it goes again.
Guard:
Incoming vehicle!
- Don't you move!
- Hold it!
Don't you move!
- Identify yourself!
- I'm with Island Fortress Cleaning Service, sir.
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
- You so sweet.
- "Just the janitors. "
Let 'em through!
Smart Brother:
Lance. Lance!
So, Mr. Godfather of SouI-
- life as you've known it
will soon cease to exist.
Sorry.
Any final requests?
Say it loud.
Say it loud!
What's he doing?
Say it loud!
Say it loud!
Say it loud!
- Say it loud!
- I'm black and I'm proud!
Hey, man, I want to get up
and do my thing now.
## So good ##
## I got you... ##
Oh.
Hey!
I feel good.
It's time for the big payback.
Very clever,
Mr. Undercover Brother.
- Whoa.
- Sistah Girl: "Can you dig it?"
Everything we'll need
to take it to The Man.
Hey, this isn't Taco Bell.
Can you find out
where the General is?
Just give me 10 minutes.
Conspiracy Brother: "Oh, shit!"
You've got one.
Mr. Elias:
Intruders.
The Brotherhood has breached
the communications room!
Everything's a party over here
with you people, isn't it?
That's not all.
The Man is on his way here.
Mr. Feather:
What? Now?
His helicopter will be here
in five minutes.
Mr. Elias,
would you kindly take care
of the nuisance
in the communication room?
Yes, sir.
Come on, let's go!
Yes, sir.
Right away.
- What have you done with the General?
- General?
Could you come
in here, please?
General, if it's not
too much of a bother,
would you mind terribly,
killing this man?
Thank you.
So I can always have something
to remember you by.
Come on, hurry up.
I wouldn't move
if I were you.
Damn!
Oh, shit.
Get off of me.
Sorry.
Excellent work,
White She-DeviI.
Come here, baby.
Damn, that girl
gets around.
How can you do this to me?
Once you've
had Undercover Brother,
there is no other.
No, it's once you go black,
you don't go back.
It's the honky patroI.
Let me do this.
Ah, look who got
the gun now.
- Yeah. What's up?!
- Hi.
- Shut up!
- What?
I said shut up, whitey!
I got the power.
Keep working.
This is a girl thing.
- Breakdance.
- Break, what?
I said, breakdance.
Come on.
Take it!
That's right.
That's good.
Come on.
Kid 'n Play.
- Kid and who?
- Come on.
That's right.
Getting funky.
Oh, yeah.
I like black people.
Oh, fight.
Watch yourself.
Show 'em what you're working with.
Oh!
White She-Devil,
represent!
Oh!
- Sistah Girl: Yeah.
- I got him.
I got him!
Vector four, section seven.
Come on, General,
you got to give me that gun.
Nonsense!
General, kill him!
Undercover Brother,
are you okay?
Everything's cool
now that you're here.
Y'all gonna make me lose
my mind up in here!
See what I've been
dealing with?
Yeah.
Situation complete.
We'll see you soon, Chief.
Atomic core, eh?
Let's see what this so-called
button does.
Computer voice: Attention,
atomic core set to overload.
My bad.
Here, General,
take the antidote.
Oh, what happened to me?
Damn!
You guys get the General out of
here. I'm going after The Man.
Let's get while
the getting's good.
There'll be another day
to fight The Man.
We can't give The Man
another damn day!
But Sistah Girl's right.
We got to get the hell out of here, man.
We're gonna die!
We're all gonna die!
- Dig it! Dig it hard!
- Daddy!
There's times for falling apart,
and there's times for getting funky.
This is one
of those funky times!
So, what's it going to be?!
Are you ready to play
some funky music, white boy?
Solid.
Lay down the boogie.
It's time to take it
to The Man.
I guess this means you
and I are like brothers now, huh?
I feel black.
Man, you look white!
Ow.
Don't touch me!
Come on, General.
Let's go.
Let's go!
Let's get out of here!
- Come on!
- Go. Come on, nigga.
Computer voice:
Atomic core overload in five minutes.
Please exit
in an orderly fashion.
Stop him!
Earth, wind and fire!
Shaquille O'Neal!
- Sisqo!
- No-ooo!
I just bought those.
Sorry about that.
It's all over, man!
You want some drama?
Then bring it.
Lance, protect the General
at all costs.
Atomic core overload
in three minutes.
Let me talk to them.
I'm white.
We don't want
any trouble.
What are you going
to do about it?
Sissy.
I am not
a sissy!
Come on!
Oh.
Ugh!
Lance.
He shouldn't
have called me a sissy.
Conspiracy Brother:
Not bad, whitey.
But if it was me, I would have ripped
his spine out of his ass!
Let's go! We got less than a minute
before this place blows!
## "They told him don't you ever"
"come around here" ##
## "Don't wanna see your face,"
"you better disappear" ##
## "The fire's in their eyes"
"and their words are really clear" ##
## "So beat it, just beat it" ##
## "You better run,"
"you better do what you can" ##
## "Don't wanna see no blood,"
"don't be a macho man" ##
## "You wanna be tough,"
"better do what you can" ##
## "So beat it,"
"but you wanna be bad" ##
## "Just beat it, beat it" ##
## "Beat it, beat it" ##
## "No one wants to be defeated" ##
## "Showin' how funky"
"and strong is your fight" ##
## "It doesn't matter"
"who's wrong or right" ##
## "Just beat it" ##
## "You have to show them"
"that you're really not scared" ##
## "You're playin' with your life," ##
## "This ain't no truth or dare" ##
## "They'll kick you,"
"then they beat you" ##
## "Then they'll tell you it's fair" ##
## "So beat it,"
"but you wanna be bad" ##
## "Just beat it" ##
## "Beat it... " ##
- General, sir, are you all right?
- Yes.
There he is!
Undercover Brother!
He's only got
a few seconds!
Oops.
You mess with the 'fro,
you got to go.
I believe
this belongs to me.
So long,
Undercover Brother.
He's failed me.
Leave him.
Hey! Don't be dissing me!
Hey! Let me in!
Let me up!
That Feather
went out like a sucka.
Punk ass bitch
played himself.
Let's bounce, dawg.
No! He doesn't have
his parachute!
Yeah.
Smart Brother:
Come on over here. Hug me.
## "What you knowin'" ##
## "To be real" ##
## "What you thinkin'" ##
## "I think I love you, baby... " ##
Undercover Brother,
you the baddest.
Didn't I blow
your mind this time?
Didn't I?
Didn't you cause about a
bazillion dollars worth of damage?
And I sure as hell ain't
covering for you!
I don't give a damn
how sexy you look
floating down
in your little pants!
And as for the rest
of you...
I just want to say
how very proud I am
of all of you.
Undercover Brother,
the world is safe once again
thanks to you.
No thanks to me, Chief.
I couldn't have done it
without Sistah GirI.
You know what they say,
"Behind every great
black man-"
Is the police.
- "Uh, no, no. "
- A bunch of slow white athletes?
- "No. "
- A cute butt?
- Probable cause?
- "No!"
A strong black woman.
- "Strong black woman. "
- That's right.
Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
It would've been cool
to have a Latino,
a Native American,
Asian,
even a Jewish guy
in the mix.
The point is,
by working together as one,
we got the job done.
No doubt, that's what
the Brotherhood is all about.
Solid.
Oh!
Look out, y'all,
fallin' rocks!
Shotgun!
Narrator:
Having stopped Operation Whitewash,
the Brotherhood distributed
an antidote to the mind control drug
to black people nationwide.
And though The Man escaped,
the Brotherhood had found their hero.
Thanks to Undercover Brother,
the world was once again
a funky place.
## "We want the funk,"
"give up the funk" ##
- ## "Everybody say" ##
- ## "We need the funk" ##
## "We got to have that funk" ##
## "A is for apples and J is for jack" ##
## "P is for punk"
"that's right as smack" ##
## "On track with this phat rap"
that I put down for you
## "All around the world"
"is the big dog pound for you" ##
## "In bump we thrust and trust" ##
## "Man, you can't funk with us" ##
## "Cold as a motha',"
"all the women love him" ##
## "'Cause they just want a piece"
"of the Undercover Brother" ##
## "They'll take him home tonight"
"'cause he's so dynamite" ##
## "Sort of like dolomite,"
"is that right? Show you right" ##
## "I got a little something"
"for groupies" ##
## "Snoopy Doopy"
"and Uncle Boosty" ##
## "Turn me loose" ##
## "I'm just funkin'"
"with my nephew Snoop" ##
## "Where did you get"
"your funk, bro'?" ##
## "Let's get ready to shoop" ##
- ## "I got to do it" ##
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
## "The one you will discover" ##
## "You can't worry"
"what people tell you" ##
## "Yeah, baby" ##
## "We want the funk" ##
## "Get up off the funk. " ####
## "Work and work" ##
## "Well, those cars"
"never seem to stop comin'" ##
## "Work and work" ##
## "Keep those rags"
"and machines hummin'" ##
## "Get them washed"
"right away" ##
- ## "At the car wash" ##
- ## "Talkin' about the car wash" ##
## "Car wash, yeah" ##
## "Sing it with feelin', y'all" ##
## "Cash wash, yeah" ##
## "Ooh-oh-oh" ##
## "At the car wash" ##
## "Car wash, yeah" ##
## "Car wash" ##
## "Car wash, yeah. " ####
## "Whatever happened" ##
## "To the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder" ##
## "What he's doing,"
"'cause it could have been me" ##
## "Praises to the make-up"
"off the times we used to know" ##
## "And thinkin' 'bout"
"the good days" ##
## "Set his mind to let them go" ##
## "Trouble runnin' 'round" ##
## "And life ain't what it used to be" ##
## "Now God"
"has blessed America" ##
## "And some to you and me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder"
"what he's doin'" ##
## "'Cause it could"
"have been me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the wonderful fantasy?" ##
## "When mother used to watch us"
"with a smilin' face" ##
## "Smilin' face" ##
## "Oh, we're standing" ##
## "In the wrong direction" ##
## "And we need"
"a little affection, yeah" ##
## "And if you dig this song" ##
## "Better let me know" ##
- ## "Please let me know" ##
- ## "Don't let me go" ##
## "Don't let me go" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder"
"what he's doin'" ##
## "'Cause it could"
"have been me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the wonderful fantasy?" ##
## "When mother used to watch us"##
- ## "With a smilin' face" ##
- ## "Smilin' face" ##
## "We complaining 'cause we livin'"
"in the greatest nation" ##
## "We should be thankful,"
"livin' large" ##
## "Bringing celebration" ##
## "America, now where's"
"your appreciation?" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder"
"what he's doin'" ##
## "'Cause it could"
"have been me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the wonderful fantasy?" ##
## "When mother used to watch us"
"with a smilin' face... " ####
## "All... night... long" ##
## "All... night... long. " ##
Damn, who is that?
Hold that thought
and that feelin', baby.
Just let it percolate.
I'll be right back.
"Hurry up, baby. "
Hi.
Uh, White She-Devil,
what you doing here?
Remember? You told me
to come over.
And me and you
and Sistah Girl
could make Oreos.
Shh.
Sweet and black
on both sides
with a dreamy white filling
in the middle.
Then I realized-
you can't make Oreos.
So, I bought some.
Some people got jungle fever.
She got the flu.
- You know.
- U.B.!
## "All... night... long" ##
## "I can't wait"
"to love you, baby" ##
## "All... night... long. " ####
## "Rapp Payback" ##
## "Oh... " ##
## "Hit me" ##
## "Rapp payback" ##
## "Little Jerry" ##
## "I know you've heard"
"the master jiggy out" ##
## "I know you've heard"
"the master jiggy out" ##
## "Dance, oh yes" ##
## "Although you got it" ##
## "Out there... " ##
## "Payback, I'm mad" ##
## "Lay down" ##
## "I'm mad" ##
- ## "Payback, ain't it?" ##
- ## "Payback" ##
## "Man, good God,"
"wait a minute" ##
## "Hey, I... " ##
## "Saved ya" ##
## "Take me back" ##
## "We going back" ##
## "Payback" ##
## "Payback. " ##
Undercover Brother:
Solid.
After a generation of struggle
changed the face of our nation,
African Americans
entered the '70s
with new found hope.
- I am...
- I am...
- somebody!
- "somebody!"
Vibrant leaders emerged
and black culture reached
its high point,
influencing all facets
of American life.
## Say it louder... ##
Audience:
## "I'm black and I'm proud" ##
Let me hear you-
## Say it louder... ##
But progress slowed
in the decades that followed.
Black culture began to lose
its distinctive flavor.
And as the millennium
drew to a close,
disaster struck.
These seemingly random events
were in fact orchestrated
by The Man,
a villain obsessed
with turning back the clock
on race relations.
Just when it seemed
the funky spirit
of the '7 Os
would be lost forever,
a new hero emerged.
His name, Undercover Brother.
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna"
"tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##
## "Tear the roof off this sucka" ##
## You've got a reaI type
of thang going down ##
## Getting down ##
## There's a whole lot
of rhythm going round ##
## Whoa! We want the funk ##
## Give up the funk
Ah, we need the funk... ##
Give it to me.
Need it, got to have it.
- ## We need the funk ##
- We need the funk.
- ## "Gotta have the funk" ##
- Say!
## La-la-la-ya-ya ##
## Do-do-do-do-do... ##
## "Turn this mother out... " ##
It ain't no thang.
Yeah.
A bird gonna shit
on my windshield?!
Not on my Cadillac!
I'm gonna chop your feathers
off and put you in Chinatown!
They gonna make
Peking Pigeon out of you!
Damn!
Unbeknownst
to Undercover Brother,
there was a secret organization
dedicated to truth,
justice,
and the Afro-American way.
They had never crossed paths
until now.
Headquarters, come in.
Good work, Sistah GirI.
Data from the mainframe
ready to commence.
- She's transmitting! Are we up and ready?
- Yes, sir.
And I've hacked into
the bank security system.
Computer:
You've got soul.
- We're in.
- "Aha!"
The computer!
Another idea stolen from the black man.
Did you all know that
George Washington Carver
made the first computer
out of a peanut?
- Hmm?
- A peanut?
- A peanut!
- Shut up and get back to work!
I've spent six months
setting up this operation
and I want
to see everything-
off-shore accounts,
dummy corporations, money laundering.
If we can cut off his funds,
we may finally be able
to stop The Man.
Waited a long time for this.
- What the hell?
- What the hell?
- What the-
- "Dissed. "
- Ah, solid.
- "Hey!"
What the hell
are you doing, old man?
Whoa!
- Headquarters...
- is there another agent on this case?
- Hell, no!
Damn it, who is that guy?
I'll cross-reference the bank's
security camera with our database.
Guard 1:
Come on, Uncle Ben!
Whoa!
Oh, shit!
It's Macy Gray
with pork-chop sideburns!
Who's bad?
Ohh! Right up
the pooper!
Right on, sweet sistah.
Chief:
Damn it, who is he?!
Sistah GirI, abort mission!
Damn it.
Who was that guy?
## "Hey, Undercover" ##
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
- Solid.
## "Here's the plan-"
"he's got to fight the man" ##
## "And he's looking fine"
"when he goes head to head" ##
- ## "Dig those funky threads" ##
- ## "Wears his daddy's black" "medallion" ##
## "And it stands for pride" ##
## "Truth and justice"
"be your guide" ##
- ## "He's bad" ##
- ## "All he does is good" ##
## "He's the Robin Hood"
"of the 'hood" ##
## "Hey-hey, Undercover" ##
- "Solid. "
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
## Dressed to kill
in the Coupe Deville ##
## "Oh, hey!" ##
- ## "Undercover" ##
- "Too funky for myself. "
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
- ## "Undercover Brother. " ##
Yeah.
Announcer:
Mr. Feather, The Man wants to see you.
Fabulous.
Newscaster: And now, the Channel
and Chuck Marlboro.
There's growing speculation that
former defense secretary and war hero,
GeneraI Warren Boutwell,
will run for President.
He is considered
the first African-American
with a legitimate chance
of winning.
Wendy? Yeah, he is a
strong candidate, Chuck.
He's so well-spoken.
I've noticed that.
General Boutwell seems to have
a lot of support all across the nation.
Yes, and not just
in the urban areas.
In fact, the decorated
four-star general and Vietnam vet
is regarded
as one of the country's
most well-respected
public figures.
General:
Thank you very much.
A staunch advocate
for civil rights,
Boutwell has never backed down
from controversial issues.
Indeed, if ever there was a
straighter arrow than Warren Boutwell,
we'd be hard-pressed
to find him.
Well, if he does declare
his candidacy,
this certainly will be
an exciting race.
Race? I'm not
touching that one.
First, our children hip-hop
all over the suburbs.
Now Boutwell
might be President?!
They are taking over
every aspect of our culture!
- Don't you agree, Mr. Feather?
- Word.
- For sheezy, my neezy.
- What did you say?
I said... for sure.
Yes, indeedy.
I have a cold.
I want the White House
to stay white.
Eliminate him!
But, sir,
if we kill him,
we'll only be
making him a hero.
Do you have a better idea?
Our friends
at Multinational Inc.
have been developing
a new drug
with some very interesting side effects.
I think we may have found
the perfect guinea pig.
Newscaster: The so called Afro
Bandit struck Multinational Bank.
However, it appears
no money was stolen.
Authorities questioned
singer Macy Gray,
but she was released
for lack of evidence.
Well, would anybody
like to explain exactly
what the hell happened
at the bank?!
His name
is Undercover Brother.
Apparently, he was erasing
mortgage records
so that low-income families
wouldn't lose their homes.
Sistah Girl:
Great.
A "Soul Train" reject
with a Robin Hood complex.
- Now I've heard everything.
- Hey, hey, hey, now.
At least he got
the job done.
- That's the kind of man we need around here.
- The keyword being "man"?
Hold on.
I didn't say that, you did.
Man-man.
The General's
press conference is starting!
Newscaster:
We interrupt this broadcast to take you live
to a press conference
by General Warren Boutwell,
in which he is expected
to announce
that he is a candidate
for presidency of the United States.
I wonder if he'll run
as a Democrat or an Independent.
- Never know. Might be a Republican.
- Oh, please.
What kind of self-respecting black man
would run
as a Republican?
Name one thing
the Republican party
has done
for black people. One!
Well, they were
the party of Lincoln.
They stood against
the tyranny of oppression
by leading the call
for the Civil War,
and forced passage
of the Emancipation Proclamation,
which freed the slaves.
All right,
name two things lately.
Damn it, It doesn't matter
what party!
This could be the first step
on the road to putting
an African-American
in the White House.
It's a great day
for black people of all races.
- General: "Good morning. "
- Think about it!
I've thought long and hard about how
I can best serve my country
now that I'm no longer in uniform.
Well, today...
I am proud to announce
that I will be...
opening a chain
of fried chicken restaurants.
General Boutwell!
Yes, sir.
So, you're passing up a chance
to be President
to open a chicken joint?
A man like me doesn't have
any business in politics.
They say you should
always do what you know.
And what I know
is good fried chicken.
- Ohh...
- GeneraI: "Yes, ma'am. "
Don't you think your supporters
in the African-American community
will be particularly disappointed?
Not after they taste
the General's fried chicken.
General: Surrender, Colonel,
here comes the General.
- "Will there be side dishes?"
- Sweet potatoes...
black-eyed peas,
- "mashed potatoes, macaroni... "
- Mmm.
cornbread,
and the General's special...
hot sauce!
That's all for today.
Thank you very much.
Nice to see you all.
Reporter:
General, what about desert?
You know, he does have a
point about that Colonel.
I never trusted
the ColoneI!
Slaves cooked that chicken!
Ain't no white man know
about no 16 herbs
and spices and giblets!
Smart Brother,
if you so damn smart,
- "why don't you explain"
what just happened?
If I wanted to hear something stupid,
- I'd ask this skinny black ass!
- In your face!
Skinny black- Hey!
We got to find out exactly what happened
to the General, and fast!
I'll get right on it.
Whoa, hold on.
Not that fast. We need
some new blood on this case.
What? Who? You can't just hire
some fooI off the streets.
Watch me.
Get me Undercover Brother!
Ooh, too funky for myself.
Man on TV: You were the
only man outside the palace.
- "I was outside. "
- Jimmy!
- But I wasn't the only one.
- "Jim Kelly!"
- It is not possible.
- Watch out for the hand! Watch out for the hand!
Gets you every time!
Spinning back-kick!
I think I'll lay down
and get me a little bit
of sleep.
Don't touch the hair!
Okay, Bruce Leroy,
turn around.
Slowly.
If you gonna shoot me,
shoot me.
Thank you, Jesus.
Hmm.
Dig it.
You that Sistah GirI
from the bank, huh?
I guess you like
what you saw earlier.
Look, baby, let's stop fooling around.
Your body's slammin',
let's get to jammin'.
Excuse me?
Oh, nothing relaxes a brother
after a hard day of going undercover
like a little piece of the cookie.
Goddamn. My cookie
would break you in half.
Maybe, but that would be
some long division.
Long.
You hit me pretty good,
but I wasn't ready.
Now, any time you think you
want to get feisty or throw down-
So, Sistah Girl,
if you're not here
for Undercover Lover,
you must be here
for Undercover Brother.
What, pray tell,
can I do for you today?
Sistah GirI:
Okay, we're here. Now be cool.
- "This place is top secret. "
- Undercover Brother: "Solid. "
Man:
Man, you know you ain't right.
Whoo-oo!
I'm gonna need
my custom shears
for this masterpiece.
CarefuI. Puncture him
and the hot air's liable to kill you.
- Sistah GirI: "Take a seat. "
- "Don't mind if I do. "
- We're gonna hook you right up.
- Holy funkadelic!
This is some kind
of secret organization
you have here.
Look at all this hi-tech
spy equipment.
You got clippers,
you got T.C.B. activator.
I mean, your only competition
must be the K.G.B.
Or the F.B.I.
Who the hell are you, woman?
You're the Grim Reaper!
I don't want to go to hell!
I ain't never did
nothing but good!
I swear to God
I ain't done nothing wrong!
Oh, come on.
The flashing light and fan
make the drop seem worse than it is.
I knew that.
Mm-hmm.
Computerized voice:
Entering secure area.
Stand here.
Right here?
Computer:
Blackness confirmed. You got soul.
What I'm about to show you
few people have ever seen before.
Would Agent Jefferson please pick up
the black courtesy phone?
Agents report
to the ready room.
Welcome
to the Brotherhood.
Solid.
Yes, I know.
I really don't want to talk about this
over the telephone.
Perhaps we could meet
at a secret location?
Okay. No, that sounds great.
All right. Revolution.
Take care.
Man:
"The revolution will not be televised. "
- This is Undercover Brother.
- Hey, how you doing?
Good morning!
Good morning?
Get on the desk!
You brought
a spy around me?!
Spy in the building!
- Don't touch the 'fro.
- Back up off!
- Back up off "me!"
- Let me tell you something about the word "good. "
Good is an ancient
Anglo-Saxon word.
Go-od, meaning
the absence of color,
i. e.-
"It's all good,"
which it is,
or "Good Will Hunting,"
meaning,
"I'm hunting niggas!"
So if you say "good morning" to me,
you're saying,
"I'm gonna kill your black ass
first thing in the morning!"
- "Is that that damn Undercover Brother?!"
- You in trouble.
- Where the hell have you been?!
- Hey.
This is a job, not some kind
of damn summer camp!
And I'm tired of you
disrespecting me!
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't fire your sorry ass!
Because I don't work for you?
Shut up!
Save your smart comments
for the chunky brother in the smock!
Now get in my office!
Congratulations, Mr. Feather.
Thank you, Mister...
The Man.
As you can see,
the GeneraI is totally under our controI.
The Man:
Yes, our little experiment was a success.
In fact, I've decided to use the General
to launch "Operation Whitewash. "
Fabulous. I'll inform Multinational
to step up production.
The only thing standing
in our way is the Brotherhood.
And they won't be a problem,
will they, Feather?
No, sir.
Good.
Uh, will they, Feather?
"New one from Britney-"
## "Oh-oh" ##
## "Ooo-mmm" ##
## "Let's get it crunk upon,"
"have fun upon" ##
## "Up in this dancery" ##
## "We got ya open, now ya floatin'" ##
## "So you gots to dance for me" ##
## "Come on, everybody, get on up" ##
## "'Cause you know we got"
"to get it crunk" ##
What am I doing?!
And that's why we believe
there's got to be
some connection between
the GeneraI's announcement and The Man.
Come on, y'all.
Y'all telling me there's really "a" Man?
What do you think,
Undercover Brother?
If that is your real name.
You think things
just happen by accident?
No! Sometimes people,
mostly white people,
make things happen.
That's where we come in
and our never ending struggle
against The Man,
a. k.a. Whitey,
a. k.a. Mr. Charlie,
a. k.a. Honky McGee.
So, the conspiracies we've believed
for all these years are really true?
The N.B.A. really instituted
the three-point shot
to give white boys a chance?
Smart Brother: Absolutely.
So the entertainment industry
really "is" out to get Spike Lee.
- Is that right?
- Come on, man!
Even Cher got an Oscar.
Cher-rr!
And O.J. really
didn't do it?
Let's just move on,
shall we?
Holy moly, looks like
the Source Awards in here.
Ow!
It does now.
- Hurting.
- Who's that?
Sistah GirI:
Oh, this is Lance, our intern.
Lance, this is
Undercover Brother.
What's happening?
Whas-ssup?!
Okay, how did
the white boy get a job
here at the Brotherhood?
Shit. What can I tell you?
Affirmative action.
What? Here we go.
Oh, boy.
Open up the window.
It's getting all racial
up in this piece.
Look here,
Undercover Brother,
now that
you're working for us,
you're gonna need to memorize
our rules and regulations.
Trim the hair, and for God's sake,
get rid of the clothes.
Slow your roll, Chief.
You know, I respect
what y'all are doing here
at the Brotherhood,
but I'm a firm believer in
everybody should do their own thang.
## What a boy wants,
what a boy needs ##
## Whatever... ##
## Free... ##
Okay, he should never
do his own thang.
I'm getting too old
for this shit.
Conspiracy Brother: I said, "You'd better
open the bank and give me my money. "
Yeah?
"It's my money.
I don't care whose bank it is!"
Right.
I know whose money is in
it. I'm keeping it reaI.
- That's all I'm saying.
- Hi, Conspiracy Brother.
"Hi"?
What you mean, "Hi"?
Like, "Hi, y'all
want to be white?"
High, like the white man
wants to keep us? Huh?
You don't smell
no weed on me, did you?
Hey, brother, can I get a list
of the words
that trigger these fits?
Man, you really need
to relax.
- Go see a movie.
- A movie?
A movie.
Come on, man!
So I can fall in love
with some cute black man
that teaches white people everything
they know about the shrimp industry
before they kill him
"Hey, why don't you walk down
that tunnel, black man?
Hey, black man,
turn on the generator.
This dinosaur is out there.
Hey, black man, look out.
He's got a gun!"
Oh! I'm hit!
But my vest caught it, bitch!
Yes, I'm alive!
I told you to keep your finger
off the trigger of that thing!
I'm cool, everybody.
- Undercover Brother, please.
- "Go on back to work. "
- Sorry about all that.
- "I shit on myself!"
I have a couple
of things for you.
Here are your shoes. I took the
liberty of making a few modifications.
Whoo!
And now, am I correct in
assuming that the Cadillac
that was double-parked
in the parking lot belongs to you?
Smart Brother,
that is not just a Caddy.
That is a Cadillac
Coupe DeVille.
Conspiracy Brother: Y'all don't give
a shit about me! I need a sponge bath.
Smart Brother:
That's an orange soda dispenser.
And a crossover amp
and subwoofer for your eight-track.
Ah, man. Smart Brother,
you's a bad mother-
Shut your mouth!
Enjoy, huh?
All right.
Big car, big hair, big necklace.
Someone is clearly
overcompensating.
First of all, you forgot about
my big, black, fuzzy balls.
And secondly,
this is not a necklace,
it's a medallion
given to me by my father
so I never forget who I am
or what I stand for.
I don't need no gold.
Don't need no jewels.
- The medallion
keeps me cooI. You dig?
Chief: "Sistah Girl,"
Undercover Brother, come in.
What it is, Chief?
We've just discovered
that the General is playing golf
with some of Multinational's
head honchos.
Now, you get yo ass down there
and see what you can find out!
And by the way,
Undercover Screw Up,
don't let me catch your black ass
in the news again.
You hear me?!
I want you to blend in!
Chiefie, baby,
I'm a master of disguises.
I can blend in like a good weave.
- "Say, where's that caddy?"
- "I don't know. "
Oh, there he is.
Uh... um-
Jah mon, rasta.
"Nice shot. "
Sistah Girl,
the camera's up.
Would anyone like
some fried chicken?
Mm-mmm.
Sistah GirI:
Mr. Feather.
Undercover Brother?
We're definitely
on the right track.
That's the number one
flunkey of The Man.
I'm gonna report to the Chief,
find out what he wants to do.
That cat'll be long gone
by that time.
This thing's
going down now, baby.
This is strictly
an observationaI mission.
We are not authorized
to take action.
Well, observe this.
Action is what
Undercover Brother's all about.
Hmm. Rasta man.
Oh, the mind control
formula is complete.
- "Who's there?"
- "Kung!"
Kung who?
Kung fool!
Ow, my wrist.
Help! Thief!
There's a thief here!
- What the hell is your problem?
- Give me back my things!
Thief!
Hey, give me that back!
Hey!
Hold it!
Holy Motown.
- Come on.
- You don't want to mess with me, man!
I had 'em, baby.
Yeah, I saw.
Come on, let's go!
Come on!
Stop where you are!
This is security!
- Do not move!
- Quick! This way!
Aw, hell, they moved.
Do it.
Code 37.
Oh-oh!
- Is he crazy?
- Okay, slow down!
"Slow, slow, slow. "
Hey, slow down
over there, people!
Hold the wheel, baby.
- No! No!
- Oh, no!
Oh, jeez!
Too fast!
Losing control!
- There's got to be another way out of here.
- "Hold it!"
Thanks for the lift.
Smart Brother: A spectral
analysis has ironically confirmed
traces of poultry
on Mr. Feather.
This proves that
The Man must be behind
Multinational Inc. 's deal
with the General.
I don't get it. What does The
Man got to do with fried chicken?
Is that his big plan,
to get black people to eat junk food?
Open your eyes,
Undercover Brother!
This has to do with
discrediting the GeneraI.
That is the white man's tactic.
He don't want
no black President.
You've seen it
all through history.
They never give
black men credit.
Jesus Christ...
black man.
Babe Ruth...
black man.
Madonna!
Sleeps with black men.
Think about it.
So the GeneraI
sold out to The Man.
I don't think
it's that simple.
When you're dealing
with The Man, it never is.
Our only choice here
is to infiltrate Multinational Inc.
Then we can find out
what happened to the General.
It'll be a very
dangerous assignment.
It'll be your most
vigorous training yet.
You're gonna have to think and act
just like a tight-butt white man
with a 401K plan
and a country club membership.
So pay attention.
Here...
have a bite of this...
sandwich.
How did you know I was hungry?
I ain't eat nothing
this morning.
- You trying to kill me?
- If you're going to pass in white America,
you are going to have
to learn to like mayonnaise!
No!
Listen...
if you're ever forced
to eat this mayonnaise,
simply press the button
on this side of the watch.
It delivers a rather liberaI
spritzing of hot sauce.
One blast should be enough
to make Caucasian food edible.
Well, it works on grits.
Now, since time
is of the essence,
I developed a device
that allows you
to absorb the whole
of white culture
in mere seconds
using subliminal imagery.
I call it...
Caucasiavision.
Hey, I feel like George Clinton.
## We want the funk. ##
Turn it on.
## Here we go one more time ##
## "Everybody's feeling fine" ##
- ## "Here we go now" ##
- ## "Yes, yes, here we go" ##
- ## "'N Sync has got to flow... " ##
- No!
## "Get to the beat,"
"we've got everything you need... " ##
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
## "Yes, here we go... " ##
Don't you
give up on me!
I see white people.
It's too much!
Too much!
Caucasian overload!
Caucasian overload.
Breathe.
Caucasian overload!
Breathe.
Breathe. Breathe.
That's too much white
for one brother to take.
You did good.
We need to make sure
the process worked,
so I called in an expert
on white culture.
"In season three
of 'Friends,'
what object of Julia's
did Ross see on his bedside table
the night
he kissed RacheI?"
Her saline solution.
He's ready.
Hi, there.
How are you doing?
What do you say there?
Howdy.
May I help you?
I sincerely hope so.
Today's my first day
at Multinational.
Oh, my.
Jackson.
Anton Jackson.
And no, not one
of the Jackson Five.
Here we go. You're in
suite 54. Tobacco division.
We need some fresh,
hip strategies to expand
our market share.
As it turns out,
I have just the product.
Here's one
of your cigarettes.
Take a good look at
it.
It's pale, small,
a little on the limp side.
It's basically inadequate.
It can't possibly give much
pleasure to the user.
- It sure can't.
- I mean, ask yourselves,
how many black people
are gonna want to smoke this?
- Not the one I know.
- "You have to effectively position"
your product
within the black consumer.
May I present to you
The Fatty?
Hmm? It's got that
hand-rolled look and feeI
that's so popular
with today's black youth.
It's big. It's full
of long-lasting pleasure
to be enjoyed again...
I could use a smoke.
Yeah? Good.
It's time to say goodbye
to Anton Jackson...
and say what it is
to Undercover Brother.
Whee-hee!
Now, that's
a long way down.
Hey!
Come in, Brotherhood.
Are you digging me?
Undercover Brother.
I'll transmit some
computer files about the General.
- See what you can do with it.
- Smart Brother: "Right on. "
The chief wants you to stay undercover
until we decode this information.
- I can dig it.
- But be carefuI.
If they're onto you,
they might set up a trap.
I know this
is the wrong time,
but I wanted to let
you know,
I'm thinking about you, girl.
I'm bouncin'.
Shakin' a spot.
- Gone.
- Bye.
Bye.
Mr. Elias,
there's been a breach!
That afro!
I'd recognize it
anywhere.
The Brotherhood
is making their move.
Just as I expected.
It's time to release
our secret weapon.
I call it...
Black Man's kryptonite.
## "I want to be bad" ##
## "Make that look so good" ##
## "I've got things on my mind" ##
## "I never thought I would" ##
## "I want to be bad" ##
## "You make me feel so good" ##
- ## "I'm losing all my cool... " ##
- How's it going there?
What the hell?
Oh, dear.
Oh, what am I gonna do?
My gosh.
Look at this mess.
Oh, dear.
I'm so sorry.
Let me help you.
Jeez, that's sweet of you.
If I mess up my boss' report,
he's gonna have a conniption
with a capital K.
- Oh.
- Penelope Snow.
Anton Jackson.
I'm so sorry. Here.
Thanks, Anton.
You're so sweet.
And cute, too.
In a Theo Huxtable kind of way.
Are you new here?
Yeah, it's my first day.
Mine too.
- Really?
- Yeah, I just moved here
bringing nothing by my hopes
and my dreams.
But sometimes the big city
can be so...
...big.
A girl needs friends, Anton.
Would you like to be my friend?
Penelope:
## "We all know" ##
## "That people are the same"
"wherever you go" ##
## There is good and bad ##
## "In everyone... " ##
Hey.
## When we learn
to live ##
## We learn to give each other ##
## What we need
to survive ##
## Together alive ##
Both:
## Ebony and ivory ##
## Live together
in perfect harmony ##
## Side by side
on my piano keyboard ##
## Oh, Lord ##
## Why don't we? ##
Yeah!
Yeah!
## Ivory ##
## Ebony ##
## Oh-oh ##
## Ivory ##
## Ebony. ##
Penelope: I didn't know you
had such a beautiful voice.
You know, you and I
have tons in common.
I know what it feels like
to be discriminated against.
I mean, just because a girI
has a healthy sexual appetite,
doesn't mean
she can't do her job.
- Uh-huh.
- They look at you
and all they see
is a threatening black man.
And they look at me,
and all they see
are my full breasts
and my narrow waist
that tapers
to my pert backside.
It's just not fair.
Huh-uh.
- Here you go, folks.
- Yum.
- And here's the extra mayonnaise you ordered.
- Yum, yum.
- "Enjoy. "
- This is the best stuff.
Have you eaten
here before, Anton?
No, I haven't.
It's my first time.
Oh, take a bite
of my sandwich.
Come on, Anton.
Just one little bite.
Scrumptious.
Penelope:
Oh, Anton,
I can't wait to see you
in these corduroys.
You're gonna
make me blush.
And you might not see it!
May I help you, sir?
Hello, fellow person of color.
How's it going today?
- What's going down?
- What are you doing with that girl?
- What girl?
- That girl!
- Oh, the white woman.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm undercover.
When you go undercover, you have
to do things you wouldn't normally do.
No matter how difficult,
how dangerous,
how good it might have felt.
Like having sex with white girls?
Damn it, woman,
would you just back off?!
Computerized voice:
Attention angry black man in khakis.
Golly, I must have tripped
or something.
Hi, Ton-ja.
Listen...
I was wondering,
do you have any dickies?
'Cause I couldn't
find them.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Perhaps we're all "sold out. "
Aw, that's too bad.
Come on, Anton.
I saw a mock turtleneck
at Eddie Bauer
that's perfect for you.
Thanks for all your help.
Bye-bye, Ton-ja.
Bye-bye.
And action!
I want you...
to buy my new
fried chicken, that is.
Sure enough.
I used to work
for the Pentagon,
now I help you to get
your chicken on.
And for a limited time only,
order an eight-piece
Nappy MeaI,
and get a 32-ounce
malt liquor absolutely free.
- ## You be buyin' ##
- ## "Yeah, yeah" ##
- ## We be frying ##
- Woo-woo!
## "General's chicken" ##
## "The best chicken"
"in the 'hood" ##
## Yeah, yeah ##
- ## Legs, breasts and thighs ##
- Mm-hmm.
## "Sweet potato pies" ##
- ## "General's Fried Chicken" ##
- GeneraI: "Lord have mercy. "
## "General's Fried Chicken" ##
## "It's butt kickin'" ##
## "General's Fried" ##
## "You know it tastes so good" ##
Announcer:
Introducing the Nappy Meal from G.F.C.
This chicken is the bomb.
At the General's,
we do chicken right-on!
Will you look at that?
The General's lost
his damn mind.
He's making a fool
out of himself over this crap.
Lance:
## "General's Fried Chicken" ##
## "It's butt kickin'" ##
## Hey, hey ##
What?
It's catchy.
Reminds me
of the Fresh Prince.
I like him.
He raps happy.
Chief: Excuse me, sir. This is a restricted
- good God!
- Heya, Chiefster. Lance.
- Nice pants.
- Undercover Brother?
- Undercover Brother?
- What happened to you?
- He had sex with a white girl, that's what!
Was it everything I
dreamed of? It was good.
She had pink nipples?
Big ones.
- Yeah, big ones.
- Yeah.
Chief: "Her carpet" matched
her drapes? Excuse me?
- No, man. You can't be doing that.
- What were you doing?
- White girl or no white girl,
where the hell have you been?
- Not there,
'cause that's where people who swear go.
Thank you very much.
You sound like
a 14-year-old white chick.
I don't think so, Sister GirI.
It's Sistah Girl, "dude. "
Maybe on Planet Ebonics.
But where I come from,
we like to pronounce
our E's and our R's,
thank you very much.
E's and R's?
Ebonics, huh?
I be thinking
that somebody in this room
is selling out.
I say we kill him.
Shut the door, nigga.
Shh, it's gonna be
all right, baby. Don't look!
I'm sorry, dawg, but you need
- Hey, buddy,
if I hadn't read that article in
"Vanity Fair" on anger management,
I'd put away this guava-
mango-broccoli smoothie
- and put my foot in your patootie.
- Patootie?
Now maybe you guys
don't like the new me,
but I don't give a gosh darn.
For all I care,
you can all get
the beejeebies out of here.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I must be going.
"Frasier" is on.
"Frasier"?
Beejeebies?
He said he would stick his foot
up my so-called "patootie. "
Damn it.
I knew this could happen.
You can only keep
an agent undercover for so long
before he loses his identity.
Hell, no man can resist
low interest loans
and non-fat lattes forever.
And white women.
So wait,
let me get this straight.
Whenever a black guy does well,
starts wearing Dockers,
buys a few Celine Dion records,
and sleeps with a white chick,
you automatically
say he's sold out?
That's enough!
Always trying to shut
the white man down.
That's right!
That's right!
- Oh, that ain't right.
- Sistah Girl: "What's the word?"
I was able to decode
the data from MultinationaI Inc.
The General is under
the influence
of a psycho-
hallucinogenic drug.
It's a mind controI drug, sir.
Very powerful.
Very easy to use.
Good Lord.
With something like that, The Man could
controI every black person in America.
Theoretically, yes, but it would take years
to administer the doses individually.
To be efficient,
you'd need to develop
a huge distribution system.
The chicken!
I hate to say it,
if Undercover Brother
don't get his shit together,
this may be one battle
we might lose to The Man.
Smart Brother,
am I gonna die?
## "Dumps like a truck-"
"truck, truck" ##
## "All night long" ##
## "Let me see that thong" ##
Honey?
Yeah?
Is this Michael Bolton's
version of that "thong song?"
No, but I want that one.
I hear he got all the funk
that Sisqo missed.
Do you like this?
You know, usually I'm not
into the heavy stuff,
but this is kinda catchy.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
- I made us some sandwiches.
- Extra mayo for me, please.
Freeze, sucka!
Put down
the mayonnaise...
slowly.
It's that colored girl,
Ton-ja.
Now, Buffy the Black Man Slayer,
step away from the brotha.
- Bye, brother.
- Come on.
- Bye.
- "Move it. "
- Be careful.
- Let's go.
Why? So you can tell me
what a sellout I am again?
Oh, I don't judge people
by how they dress,
or what music
they listen to.
But I remember a brother
who wasn't afraid to be himself,
who taught me to follow
my own funky path,
stand up for
what I think is right.
Remember this?
Penelope:
Ignore her, Anton.
I'm all the single white female
you'll ever need.
I want to. Really, I do.
All day, but I can't.
I must be true to myself.
Look at that white girI.
Are you crazy?
The darker the berry,
the sweeter the juice.
Corduroys
are so comfortable.
Got to get funky.
## Hey, macarena,
all right! ##
I can't throw this away.
'Cause like this medallion...
this brother's here to stay.
What's up, Sistah Girl?
Look at you!
What took you so long?
- You don't think the heels are too much?
- No, it's funktabulous.
- 'Cause I was gonna go-
- "Hold it right there... "
Undercover Brother.
Drop it!
- This woman just can't get-
- I meant the gun.
That's White She-Devil,
The Man's secret weapon.
Sorry.
It's time to...
platform out of here.
Damn duck shoes.
Looks like
we're in hot water.
Or hot sauce.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
It's not fair.
'N Sync!
Backstreet Boys!
And Boyz II Men!
We really sing!
Elton John!
Billie Jean King!
## "Look at her" ##
## "She's a bad mama jama" ##
## "Just as fine as she can be" ##
## "She's a bad mama jama... " ##
Come on, White She-Devil.
I been waiting.
Come on, baby.
Come on!
## "Her body measurements are perfect"
"in every dimension" ##
## "She's got a figure"
"that's gonna bring attention" ##
## "She's poetry in motion" ##
## "A beautiful sight to see" ##
## "I get so excited"
"viewing her anatomy" ##
## "She's built-"
"oh, she's dynamic... " ##
- No, you didn't.
- "Yes, I did. "
Bitch!
You know how much
this shit cost?
How much did this shit cost,
you disco queen?!
- All of this!
- How dare you!
Hey!
Undercover Brother:
Touch it. Now looky here.
Whew! Whew, baby!
Toast to the booty!
Booty toast.
Oh, yeah!
Wait! Look at that.
## "... She's mighty mighty,"
"just letting it all hang out" ##
## "She's a brickhouse" ##
## "The lady's stacked,"
"and that's a fact" ##
## "Ain't holding nothing back" ##
## "Ow, she's a brickhouse... " ##
The water's cold.
Water cold!
## "Now we're together,"
"everybody knows" ##
## "This is how the story goes... " ##
Nothin' like safe sex,
you know what I'm saying?
Look at that.
Look at that there.
Bitch!
You enjoy yourself?
Would you stop
fooling around?
Got to get my cool back!
Can you play something funky
for a brother to drive to?
Drive!
Drive this thing!
Baby, it was made
in the '70s.
This ain't no Ferrari.
## "Jungle boogie" ##
## "Jungle boogie... " ##
Damn.
Look out, baby.
## "Jungle boogie" ##
## "Get up with the get down" ##
## "Jungle boogie" ##
- ## "Jungle boogie" ##
- ## "Oh yeah" ##
## "Jungle boogie... " ##
You should have run
her narrow ass over.
So, this has all been
some kind of jive game
- to get me out of the way?
- "That's right. "
I was sent to destroy you
and everything
the Brotherhood stands for.
Damn it.
Falling in love with you
wasn't part of the plan.
Mmm.
Oh, Undercover Brother,
you're too much man for me.
Baby...
sometimes I'm too much man
for my own damn self.
Mr. Feather,
your status report, please.
All the pieces of Operation
Whitewash are in place.
Good. It's time
to extend the reach
to black leaders
in sports, the arts,
entertainment and business.
Soon all aspects of society
will once again be dominated
by The Man.
It's time to strike
the finaI blow
against the Brotherhood.
So, when I return to the lair,
Undercover Brother
better be dead.
- Are we clear?
- "Very good, sir. "
With Undercover
Brother dead,
the Brotherhood
had best step correct,
or their next move
will be their last.
Goodbye.
Can I ask you something?
Did I just say,
"They had best
step correct"?
Yes, sir. You did.
You see what's happening?
You see how we're
being corrupted by their
hip-and-now fashion,
and their cool slang
you can't help but use.
"Don't be dissing me!"
- No!
- "It's all that!"
You go, girI!
What's the dillio?
Who let the dogs out?
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Whatcha talk about,
Willis?
- You know what I'm saying?!
- Uh...
Little by little we're blending
and merging until one day
we're all going to be
one united people
living and working
and dancing together,
like the news or "Ally McBeal,"
or the people that work at Saturn!
And we've got to stop it
before it's too late!
You heard The Man.
As of now,
Operation Whitewash
goes global.
Chief: Jay-Z is doing
Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits?!
John Singleton to remake
"Driving Miss Daisy"?!
Terry McMillan? "How Stella
Got Her White Man Back"?
Double damn it!
Black people all over
the world are losing their damn minds.
And look-
they've all been exposed
to the General's fried chicken.
Smart Brother, how's it coming
with this antidote?
I found one. But it only
works on one person at a time.
We have to stop
this thing at the source.
Undercover Brother,
you're back!
Hi.
Hell's wrong with you bringing
a white girl in my house?
She's working
with us now, Chief.
With my extensive
and intimate knowledge
of The Man's organization,
I can help you stop his evil plan.
Okay.
Smart Brother,
take White She-Devil to the lab
and find out exactly
what she knows.
You know, you're cute in
a Theo Huxtable kind of way.
Really? Usually
I get Al Roker.
"Here's what's happening
in your neck of the woods. "
Chief,
various brother agents,
I owe all of you
a huge apology.
I just watched this show...
"Roots"?
Maybe you've heard of it?
It taught me such
a profound lesson about bigotry.
I have sat on the sidelines
of race relations long enough.
I want to march down
that field of oppression
and kick that ball of bigotry
right over the goalpost
of intolerance.
Son, you talk a lot of shit. Yes, I do.
But you down.
What?
Are you kidding?
You're going to let the white boy
join just like that?
I was in secret agent school
for three years!
Three years.
I paid for them classes myself.
- You made me.
- Smart Brother: "Chief. Chief. "
I performed a full range
spectral analysis
on Miss White She-Devil's
brain waves.
Then, I unlocked
her subconscious
using a special form
of hypnosis.
Then, I gently brushed
her hair.
Then, I reached
deep within
her tight little pockets
and I found a list
of The Man's targets.
Good Lord.
They're going after
James Brown
tomorrow night
at the Grammys.
We need to stop him.
Find the General and give him the antidote.
That's right.
It's goin' to the streets. Hey, y'all!
It's revolution
up in this bitch!
Set the alarm
to def-con five!
It's on, baby. It's on.
- "Good work, White She-Devil. "
- Thanks.
Oh, you in too.
What the fuck?! Chief!
I never see that bitch
in my secret agent classes!
I'm still paying
the loans off, man!
I sleep
on a pissy mattress.
I ain't got
good food to eat!
I borrow money
for my weed!
I quit.
That's it.
Y'all don't got Conspiracy Brother
Jones to kick around anymore!
Give me a pillow case!
I'm joining the Klan.
Brother, we all love
your solo enthusiasm,
but this is about
working together.
Now, I've been a solo star
shooting the shots
that I thought
would win the game.
But in workin' with y'all,
I've come to realize
that only a team wins
a championship.
Chief:
Teamwork! That's right.
That's right.
I'm sorry, everybody.
Teamwork!
Now, let's go!
Hustle, hustle!
Come on, white girI!
Sistah Girl:
Best of luck tonight.
Have a great time.
We know The Man plans
to make his move tonight.
Now, Lance,
we're counting on you.
Don't get distracted,
be focused.
Stick close to the target
at all times.
Roger. Will do.
Boo.
Ah.
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, James Brown.
- How you doing?
- "James Brown. "
- "I want to see my fans. "
- No, it's okay.
Wait a minute.
What's going on?
Perimeter search.
I'm on it.
What is that boy doing?
- "What's going on here?"
- Hey, Jimmy.
What?
Now, "I" feeI good.
God, man!
Sistah Girl:
Lance. Lance!
Announcer: The hardest
working man in show business.
Go get him.
Announcer:
Thank you, James Brown.
No! Hey!
I just got promoted!
Mr. Feather:
Hello, Mr. James Brown.
Hello-ooo, Mr. James Brown.
Ah!
Good God!
You will soon be administered
a drug that will make you...
The signal's stopped.
It's James Brown touchdown!
- That's James Brown?
- That's mustard.
I can't believe I let him
get away. I am so stupid.
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
You got to stop
beating yourself up.
We got to work together
as a team, okay?
Yeah, man.
Let the team do it.
I'm playin' with him.
Stop playin'.
Hey!
Damn.
Hey, dawg. Hey.
You need to lighten up.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Just be carefuI with this.
If you smoke too much,
it's going to have you
all paranoid and shit.
It takes time to build up
a tolerance like mine-
What? Did you hear that?
Shh. Shh.
Hey, y'all,
did you hear something?
Shh, quiet!
There it goes again.
Guard:
Incoming vehicle!
- Don't you move!
- Hold it!
Don't you move!
- Identify yourself!
- I'm with Island Fortress Cleaning Service, sir.
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
- You so sweet.
- "Just the janitors. "
Let 'em through!
Smart Brother:
Lance. Lance!
So, Mr. Godfather of SouI-
- life as you've known it
will soon cease to exist.
Sorry.
Any final requests?
Say it loud.
Say it loud!
What's he doing?
Say it loud!
Say it loud!
Say it loud!
- Say it loud!
- I'm black and I'm proud!
Hey, man, I want to get up
and do my thing now.
## So good ##
## I got you... ##
Oh.
Hey!
I feel good.
It's time for the big payback.
Very clever,
Mr. Undercover Brother.
- Whoa.
- Sistah Girl: "Can you dig it?"
Everything we'll need
to take it to The Man.
Hey, this isn't Taco Bell.
Can you find out
where the General is?
Just give me 10 minutes.
Conspiracy Brother: "Oh, shit!"
You've got one.
Mr. Elias:
Intruders.
The Brotherhood has breached
the communications room!
Everything's a party over here
with you people, isn't it?
That's not all.
The Man is on his way here.
Mr. Feather:
What? Now?
His helicopter will be here
in five minutes.
Mr. Elias,
would you kindly take care
of the nuisance
in the communication room?
Yes, sir.
Come on, let's go!
Yes, sir.
Right away.
- What have you done with the General?
- General?
Could you come
in here, please?
General, if it's not
too much of a bother,
would you mind terribly,
killing this man?
Thank you.
So I can always have something
to remember you by.
Come on, hurry up.
I wouldn't move
if I were you.
Damn!
Oh, shit.
Get off of me.
Sorry.
Excellent work,
White She-DeviI.
Come here, baby.
Damn, that girl
gets around.
How can you do this to me?
Once you've
had Undercover Brother,
there is no other.
No, it's once you go black,
you don't go back.
It's the honky patroI.
Let me do this.
Ah, look who got
the gun now.
- Yeah. What's up?!
- Hi.
- Shut up!
- What?
I said shut up, whitey!
I got the power.
Keep working.
This is a girl thing.
- Breakdance.
- Break, what?
I said, breakdance.
Come on.
Take it!
That's right.
That's good.
Come on.
Kid 'n Play.
- Kid and who?
- Come on.
That's right.
Getting funky.
Oh, yeah.
I like black people.
Oh, fight.
Watch yourself.
Show 'em what you're working with.
Oh!
White She-Devil,
represent!
Oh!
- Sistah Girl: Yeah.
- I got him.
I got him!
Vector four, section seven.
Come on, General,
you got to give me that gun.
Nonsense!
General, kill him!
Undercover Brother,
are you okay?
Everything's cool
now that you're here.
Y'all gonna make me lose
my mind up in here!
See what I've been
dealing with?
Yeah.
Situation complete.
We'll see you soon, Chief.
Atomic core, eh?
Let's see what this so-called
button does.
Computer voice: Attention,
atomic core set to overload.
My bad.
Here, General,
take the antidote.
Oh, what happened to me?
Damn!
You guys get the General out of
here. I'm going after The Man.
Let's get while
the getting's good.
There'll be another day
to fight The Man.
We can't give The Man
another damn day!
But Sistah Girl's right.
We got to get the hell out of here, man.
We're gonna die!
We're all gonna die!
- Dig it! Dig it hard!
- Daddy!
There's times for falling apart,
and there's times for getting funky.
This is one
of those funky times!
So, what's it going to be?!
Are you ready to play
some funky music, white boy?
Solid.
Lay down the boogie.
It's time to take it
to The Man.
I guess this means you
and I are like brothers now, huh?
I feel black.
Man, you look white!
Ow.
Don't touch me!
Come on, General.
Let's go.
Let's go!
Let's get out of here!
- Come on!
- Go. Come on, nigga.
Computer voice:
Atomic core overload in five minutes.
Please exit
in an orderly fashion.
Stop him!
Earth, wind and fire!
Shaquille O'Neal!
- Sisqo!
- No-ooo!
I just bought those.
Sorry about that.
It's all over, man!
You want some drama?
Then bring it.
Lance, protect the General
at all costs.
Atomic core overload
in three minutes.
Let me talk to them.
I'm white.
We don't want
any trouble.
What are you going
to do about it?
Sissy.
I am not
a sissy!
Come on!
Oh.
Ugh!
Lance.
He shouldn't
have called me a sissy.
Conspiracy Brother:
Not bad, whitey.
But if it was me, I would have ripped
his spine out of his ass!
Let's go! We got less than a minute
before this place blows!
## "They told him don't you ever"
"come around here" ##
## "Don't wanna see your face,"
"you better disappear" ##
## "The fire's in their eyes"
"and their words are really clear" ##
## "So beat it, just beat it" ##
## "You better run,"
"you better do what you can" ##
## "Don't wanna see no blood,"
"don't be a macho man" ##
## "You wanna be tough,"
"better do what you can" ##
## "So beat it,"
"but you wanna be bad" ##
## "Just beat it, beat it" ##
## "Beat it, beat it" ##
## "No one wants to be defeated" ##
## "Showin' how funky"
"and strong is your fight" ##
## "It doesn't matter"
"who's wrong or right" ##
## "Just beat it" ##
## "You have to show them"
"that you're really not scared" ##
## "You're playin' with your life," ##
## "This ain't no truth or dare" ##
## "They'll kick you,"
"then they beat you" ##
## "Then they'll tell you it's fair" ##
## "So beat it,"
"but you wanna be bad" ##
## "Just beat it" ##
## "Beat it... " ##
- General, sir, are you all right?
- Yes.
There he is!
Undercover Brother!
He's only got
a few seconds!
Oops.
You mess with the 'fro,
you got to go.
I believe
this belongs to me.
So long,
Undercover Brother.
He's failed me.
Leave him.
Hey! Don't be dissing me!
Hey! Let me in!
Let me up!
That Feather
went out like a sucka.
Punk ass bitch
played himself.
Let's bounce, dawg.
No! He doesn't have
his parachute!
Yeah.
Smart Brother:
Come on over here. Hug me.
## "What you knowin'" ##
## "To be real" ##
## "What you thinkin'" ##
## "I think I love you, baby... " ##
Undercover Brother,
you the baddest.
Didn't I blow
your mind this time?
Didn't I?
Didn't you cause about a
bazillion dollars worth of damage?
And I sure as hell ain't
covering for you!
I don't give a damn
how sexy you look
floating down
in your little pants!
And as for the rest
of you...
I just want to say
how very proud I am
of all of you.
Undercover Brother,
the world is safe once again
thanks to you.
No thanks to me, Chief.
I couldn't have done it
without Sistah GirI.
You know what they say,
"Behind every great
black man-"
Is the police.
- "Uh, no, no. "
- A bunch of slow white athletes?
- "No. "
- A cute butt?
- Probable cause?
- "No!"
A strong black woman.
- "Strong black woman. "
- That's right.
Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
It would've been cool
to have a Latino,
a Native American,
Asian,
even a Jewish guy
in the mix.
The point is,
by working together as one,
we got the job done.
No doubt, that's what
the Brotherhood is all about.
Solid.
Oh!
Look out, y'all,
fallin' rocks!
Shotgun!
Narrator:
Having stopped Operation Whitewash,
the Brotherhood distributed
an antidote to the mind control drug
to black people nationwide.
And though The Man escaped,
the Brotherhood had found their hero.
Thanks to Undercover Brother,
the world was once again
a funky place.
## "We want the funk,"
"give up the funk" ##
- ## "Everybody say" ##
- ## "We need the funk" ##
## "We got to have that funk" ##
## "A is for apples and J is for jack" ##
## "P is for punk"
"that's right as smack" ##
## "On track with this phat rap"
that I put down for you
## "All around the world"
"is the big dog pound for you" ##
## "In bump we thrust and trust" ##
## "Man, you can't funk with us" ##
## "Cold as a motha',"
"all the women love him" ##
## "'Cause they just want a piece"
"of the Undercover Brother" ##
## "They'll take him home tonight"
"'cause he's so dynamite" ##
## "Sort of like dolomite,"
"is that right? Show you right" ##
## "I got a little something"
"for groupies" ##
## "Snoopy Doopy"
"and Uncle Boosty" ##
## "Turn me loose" ##
## "I'm just funkin'"
"with my nephew Snoop" ##
## "Where did you get"
"your funk, bro'?" ##
## "Let's get ready to shoop" ##
- ## "I got to do it" ##
- ## "Undercover Brother" ##
## "The one you will discover" ##
## "You can't worry"
"what people tell you" ##
## "Yeah, baby" ##
## "We want the funk" ##
## "Get up off the funk. " ####
## "Work and work" ##
## "Well, those cars"
"never seem to stop comin'" ##
## "Work and work" ##
## "Keep those rags"
"and machines hummin'" ##
## "Get them washed"
"right away" ##
- ## "At the car wash" ##
- ## "Talkin' about the car wash" ##
## "Car wash, yeah" ##
## "Sing it with feelin', y'all" ##
## "Cash wash, yeah" ##
## "Ooh-oh-oh" ##
## "At the car wash" ##
## "Car wash, yeah" ##
## "Car wash" ##
## "Car wash, yeah. " ####
## "Whatever happened" ##
## "To the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder" ##
## "What he's doing,"
"'cause it could have been me" ##
## "Praises to the make-up"
"off the times we used to know" ##
## "And thinkin' 'bout"
"the good days" ##
## "Set his mind to let them go" ##
## "Trouble runnin' 'round" ##
## "And life ain't what it used to be" ##
## "Now God"
"has blessed America" ##
## "And some to you and me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder"
"what he's doin'" ##
## "'Cause it could"
"have been me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the wonderful fantasy?" ##
## "When mother used to watch us"
"with a smilin' face" ##
## "Smilin' face" ##
## "Oh, we're standing" ##
## "In the wrong direction" ##
## "And we need"
"a little affection, yeah" ##
## "And if you dig this song" ##
## "Better let me know" ##
- ## "Please let me know" ##
- ## "Don't let me go" ##
## "Don't let me go" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder"
"what he's doin'" ##
## "'Cause it could"
"have been me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the wonderful fantasy?" ##
## "When mother used to watch us"##
- ## "With a smilin' face" ##
- ## "Smilin' face" ##
## "We complaining 'cause we livin'"
"in the greatest nation" ##
## "We should be thankful,"
"livin' large" ##
## "Bringing celebration" ##
## "America, now where's"
"your appreciation?" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the brotherman?" ##
## "Livin' on the streets" ##
## "Sometimes I wonder"
"what he's doin'" ##
## "'Cause it could"
"have been me" ##
## "Whatever happened"
"to the wonderful fantasy?" ##
## "When mother used to watch us"
"with a smilin' face... " ####
## "All... night... long" ##
## "All... night... long. " ##
Damn, who is that?
Hold that thought
and that feelin', baby.
Just let it percolate.
I'll be right back.
"Hurry up, baby. "
Hi.
Uh, White She-Devil,
what you doing here?
Remember? You told me
to come over.
And me and you
and Sistah Girl
could make Oreos.
Shh.
Sweet and black
on both sides
with a dreamy white filling
in the middle.
Then I realized-
you can't make Oreos.
So, I bought some.
Some people got jungle fever.
She got the flu.
- You know.
- U.B.!
## "All... night... long" ##
## "I can't wait"
"to love you, baby" ##
## "All... night... long. " ####
## "Rapp Payback" ##
## "Oh... " ##
## "Hit me" ##
## "Rapp payback" ##
## "Little Jerry" ##
## "I know you've heard"
"the master jiggy out" ##
## "I know you've heard"
"the master jiggy out" ##
## "Dance, oh yes" ##
## "Although you got it" ##
## "Out there... " ##
## "Payback, I'm mad" ##
## "Lay down" ##
## "I'm mad" ##
- ## "Payback, ain't it?" ##
- ## "Payback" ##
## "Man, good God,"
"wait a minute" ##
## "Hey, I... " ##
## "Saved ya" ##
## "Take me back" ##
## "We going back" ##
## "Payback" ##
## "Payback. " ##
Undercover Brother:
Solid.