VampyrZ on a Boat (2022) Movie Script
1
(blowtorch whooshes)
(gas hissing)
(blowtorch crackling)
(door handle clanks)
- We got it, man. Good.
Hey, what's on the bottom of
my mother-in-law's beer bottle?
- What?
- What's on the bottom
of my mother-in-law's
beer bottle?
- I don't know
your mother-in-law.
- That's not the point.
What's on the bottom of my
mother-in-law's beer bottle?
Open other end.
(chuckles) Hey! Oh!
Ah, uh, listen,
I can tailor make the
joke to whoever you want.
Wife, girlfriend, boyfriend,
misses, you name it.
(groans) That hurts,
that really hurts.
Now open the door!
- What do you think's behind it?
- Oh, let me see.
Riches beyond belief!
- Let's see.
- Good.
(door creaking)
(tense music)
(electricity buzzing)
(Both men screaming)
(flesh squelching)
(playful carnival music)
- What about my cat?
- You mean that one-eyed
stray you rescued
that hates every
human being but you?
Board her in a kennel
like normal people do.
- She might get fleas.
I'm not a big fan
of fleas, Dell.
- Come on!
It'll be like old times.
I need ya on this, Max.
- I get seasick, Dell.
- It's not a boat, it's a ship.
It's so huge you won't
even feel the motion.
- I can't swim.
- You will never
ever touch the water.
This is the great thing
about a boat, ship,
it's like a block of
dry land on the water.
- It's not my style.
- Style?
I didn't know you had a style.
Come on, you'll make
a huge chunk of change
for basically babysitting
my cousin's boat, ship.
- I don't think so.
- Are you sure?
- Hey, Dell.
- Oh, Hi, Sarra.
- How's it going?
- Great. How you doing?
- I'm great. Who's your friend?
- This is Max.
- Hi, Max.
- Hi.
- So, are you
gonna join our team
on our little sea adventure?
- Oh yeah. I wouldn't miss it.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- See ya aboard.
- See ya on board.
What? She's gorgeous.
- See you on board. (laughs)
(thunder rumbling)
(rain pattering)
(people screaming)
(alarm wailing)
(upbeat rock music)
(water burbling)
(upbeat rock music)
(helicopter whirring)
(upbeat rock music)
- And this is my
cousin. Captain Bob.
- Hm, Delli boy says
you have brass balls.
- Uh, they're much, much
softer now, captain.
- (laughs) So, you were a
fixer for the deep state,
cloak and dagger type stuff.
They bring a gun,
you bring a bazooka.
Take no prisoners?
- Yeah, somethin' like that.
- Very nice you
could join us, Max.
- Captain.
- Mm-hmm.
- Who's steering the boat?
- A ship.
- Whatever!
Autopilot is a
wondrous thing, Max.
A wondrous thing.
Aye, they're paying
me a small fortune
to allow them to do
some testing out here
in a beautiful open sea.
Only stipulations:
skeleton crew,
no outside communications,
and no firearms. (chuckles)
- And who's they?
- Well, they say they're
from our side, but who knows?
The important thing
is the check cleared,
me mateys. (laughs)
They cause no problems.
They are no problem.
- He needs you and I
to keep a close watch
and try to find out
what's really going on.
- Delli boy says
you can be trusted.
- You have my word on it.
- So it's all settled then.
I need you to protect my ship
from any nefarious activities.
Oh, you may not need
to get involved at all,
but my instincts, my instincts
point to the contrary.
There'll be no lootin'
and lollygagging
aboard my ship, me
mateys. (laughs)
- And what's with that leg?
- Oh, well this is the
same walnut leg that-
- Oak.
- Whatever!
This is the same leg
that my father inherited
from his father, and
his father before that,
and his father before
that, a bull shark.
- Great white.
- Whatever!
Some sinful shark took his leg
to the black bottom
of the open sea.
And all I have is this,
this ancient wooden relic,
to remind me that danger lurks
around every watery corner.
- And do you ever wear it?
- Only when the
dignitaries show up.
I like to put on a show for
those loopy landlubbers, argh!
(Dell and Bob laughing)
(determined music)
(moves to elated music)
- Pretty bat.
- This is my setup.
And I wanna tell ya, I'm master
of the universe right here.
- I'm sure you are, Dell.
- I can watch every
thing from here.
Except that room.
I don't know how they did it,
but it's been blacked out.
(curious music)
- Now. See that red line?
That's a person.
Or, at least, I
think it's a person.
He hasn't moved, ever.
And here's something
else that's interesting.
See that line?
That's audio in the room.
Hear that?
(rapid blipping)
That's the sound he's making.
Now.
(monitor bleeps)
That's the sound of bat makes.
Somehow he's mimicking
the sound of a bat.
- Maybe there's bat
in the room, Dell.
- You have no
imagination, do you?
I'm telling ya, Max, something,
something strange is
happening in that room.
(monitor bleeps)
- Where is that?
- (sighs) Directly
below this deck.
Hang a hard right at
the bottom of the steps.
And try to keep a
shred of dignity.
She may not be all that
and a bag of chips.
- I'll keep that in mind, Dell.
- Yeah, I bet you will.
(monitor bleeps)
I'm telling you Max.
Something wicked this way comes.
(monitor bleeps)
(foreboding music)
(creature blipping)
- Hey there!
- Oh, hey, Max.
Glad you could make it.
Is there, is there
something in my hair?
What, what are you,
what are you staring at?
- Do you believe and
love at first sight?
- (giggles) I think
you're going a little
too fast there, cowboy.
I don't know you, and
you don't know me.
- I'm just a cog in the wheel.
- Ah!
A cog in the wheel?
- That's right.
- You know, you're
not wooin' me, Max.
Why don't you try telling
me something personal?
Come on, tell me
something personal.
- Well, I have a tendency
to drink too much
and then laugh too loud.
I have trouble being real.
But I have no trouble
fighting for what I want.
And just for the
record, I want you.
What else?
I get hurt easily.
I try not to show it.
And to top off my amazing life,
I live with a one-eyed
cat named Pie,
and she thinks I'm outstanding.
- Oh, outstanding,
huh? (chuckles)
- Mm-hmm.
Now you.
Come on. You.
- Okay, let's see.
Uh. I live alone.
Not because I want to,
but because I haven't
found the right guy.
Guess I'm a little
hard to please.
I work too much and I sleep
way too little. (chuckles)
And I don't suffer
fools lightly.
So, be warned.
And when I get hurt, I show it.
So, be warned, again.
(chuckles) I think
I'm funny and clever.
And all the guys that I've
dated think I'm outstanding.
- Touche.
(Sarra chuckling)
- So, you still love me, Max?
- Oh yeah. More than ever.
- You're movin' a
little fast here, Max.
- I don't wanna
move slow with you.
- Okay, well, if
that's the case,
my cabin is just
around the corner.
- I always wanted
to be a cabin boy.
(Sarra chuckles)
- Okay then, cabin
boy, follow me.
(gentle music)
(feelgood rock and roll music)
You better never do
Anything that
I've want to do
- You've got about 30
bloody people out there.
They wanna rip my head off
if they don't get some food.
- Rome was not build in a day.
Excellence knows no timetable.
And you, by the way, do
not know how to count.
- Just looks like stew to me.
- Ah, but what a
stew it would be.
Five minutes to perfection.
- I'll be back.
- Hmm.
(feelgood rock and
roll music continues)
You better never stray
Too far from the family way
Or you will see the day
(foreboding music)
(mosquito buzzing)
- Perfection.
Absolute per-
Argh!
(cook screaming)
(kitchenware clanking)
(cook thuds)
Ah, ah, oh.
(steam whistling)
(cook moaning)
(intense music)
(cook screaming)
(kitchenware clanking)
(siren wailing)
(cook thuds)
(cook groans)
(kitchenware clanking)
(moves to solemn music)
- What the hell is
going on in here?
(moves to tense music)
(electricity buzzing)
Never let you get away
(electricity buzzing)
(tense music)
(people screaming)
(alarm wailing)
(knocking on door)
(foreboding music)
- We've got a big problem.
- Where is the rest of her?
We got a meeting with the doc.
(tense music)
(door slams)
- Miss me already, Max?
- I just wanna make
sure you're okay.
- Oh, well that's we sweet.
- Sweet used to be my nickname.
- (chuckles) That's cute.
I mean, sweet.
Sweet. (chuckles)
- I think you
should come with me.
- I think you should understand
that I'm a big girl and
I can protect myself.
It's who's gonna protect you?
That's the real question.
- I thought maybe you would?
- Hmm, I'd like that.
- Come on. Come with me.
- Gimme 10 minutes and
I'll meet you, okay?
- All right.
I'm going to give you
my good luck charm.
- Oh.
- As long as you keep this,
you're going to be safe.
- Okay.
I promise that I will scream
if anything out of
the ordinary happens.
But right now, a girl
needs her privacy.
So, go!
(gentle music)
(Sarra chuckles)
Hey, Max.
I believe in love
at first sight.
- Let me reiterate that you
have all signed
confidentiality agreements.
And what I'm about
to share with you
is part of those agreements.
- Aye.
But what's in the darkened
locked room, doctor?
- That.
Well that is a being,
over 400 years old.
Conceivably, thousands
of years old.
Oh, it looks human enough,
but it has no weakness in
the conventional sense.
I don't think we could
kill it if we tried.
But think of the
possibilities, gentlemen.
Maybe cures for all
ailments and diseases.
Maybe, maybe even
everlasting life.
- Maybe everlasting death.
- (chuckles) We are on the brink
of an evolutionary miracle,
and he wants to say
the sky is falling.
- (chuckles) Aye.
I'm too jaded to believe
in the fountain of youth!
- Then color me skeptical, doc.
- Open your eyes, Max.
See the future.
We are the saviors
of that future.
- Well, what happened
in the cafeteria?
- A mistake.
But, nonetheless, an experiment
that had to happen sometime.
Better now.
- Those people, doc?
- Collateral damage,
nothing more, nothing less.
- Well, you certainly have
a funny pet here, doc.
- In our experiments,
a single bite
from our ground zero subject
will either kill you
or transform you.
It killed the rat.
- How's Sarra involved?
- Well, you see,
she was the first
and only reporter on
the scene when it...
When he was captured.
He became visibly agitated
when he sensed her.
So that's why she's here.
I mean, we may need her to
report, of course, but also-
- She's here for your
testing experiments.
- She simply walked
by the holding area
and his vitals went
through the roof.
We need to know why.
The people in the
cafeteria were expendable.
But Subject Ground Zero is not.
We must have him alive and well.
- Are you saying he's escaped?
- Aye.
I'm heading my ship to
the nearest port, mateys.
- No, no, no, that's
not possible, captain.
If the infected were to
break out onto terra firma,
we'd all be doomed.
We need to capture
and secure him.
All others are expendable.
(suspenseful music)
That's why you're
here, isn't it?
- Sarra!
(tense music)
(foreboding music)
(Sarra moaning)
(suspenseful music)
(Sarra breathing frantically)
(tense music)
(alarm wailing)
- What's that now?
- We're too late.
- You heard the doc, that
thing's not gonna hurt her.
And Max, you may wanna
brace yourself that Sarra's-
- [Max] What?
- You know, that she's
not gonna be like she was.
You may have to say
goodbye to that Sarra.
- I live with a
one-eyed cat, Dell.
My entertainment is a local
bar or a shooting range.
She's the one.
She's the only one for me.
I need her like
water in the desert,
and I'm not gonna let
anyone, or any thing,
take her from me.
- Good to know.
- Aye, I don't care what
that crazy doctor wants.
I should be steering my baby
to the nearest port, mateys.
- You really have
no communications?
- They said they'll
jam the ship.
SOS won't even go out.
- And no guns?
- Not a one.
And they blocked your
surveillance cameras.
- How?
- (chuckles) Mine is
not to wonder why.
- Where to?
- We find Sarra.
- Uh, we're in for a
stormy night. (chuckles)
Hell hath no fury like
a man on a mission.
Hmm. (chuckles)
- Grab a torch.
(ghostly voice)
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
Where is she? Did you see her?
- No, I didn't see anyone.
Did you?
- Well, if you didn't
see her, I surely didn't.
- Whoa, who are you guys?
- Ah, we work down
in the engine room,
we just came up for some food.
- Well, don't go
into the mess hall.
- Why not?
Any dummy knows that's where
they keep the food. (chuckles)
- (chuckles) That
was a good one.
Sorry.
Manners please.
- Manners snanners!
I'm hungry!
- Well the...
The mess hall food's infected.
- Always have been. (chuckles)
- (laughing) Oh, you'll
have to excuse us,
we don't come up from
below very often.
You know, we just-
- Oh, look at me,
I'm all covered in grease.
Oh, oh, all I do is work,
work, work every day.
Ah, ah, I can even reach
the controls down there.
- Well, just,
just, there, there.
He's just kinda-
- Exhausted.
Oh, every day, all I do is
just cry, cry. (sobbing)
- Oh, hey, hey.
Hey, cheer up.
Just, just put it under the
chair and leave it there.
- Seriously?
- Hey.
- Okay.
(dummy barks)
(Dell shrieks)
(dummy cackling)
- Hey, that's not funny.
- Yes it is, did you see
how high that guy jumped?
(dummy barks)
(Dell screams)
- Now stop it.
- What's wrong with you?
- He, he's sorry.
He, he really is.
Are, aren't you?
Aren't you?
- Oh.
I'm sincerely sorry.
Ah, dude, I didn't
mean to scare you.
- Well thanks for that,
that's much appreciated.
(Sarra screaming)
- Uh, you should go back
down to your engine room.
I'll let you know when
it's safe to come up.
- Oh, goody.
Now we can go down and eat some
of that red sausage
that I, I really love.
- Oh, don't exaggerate.
Let's, let's just go.
- [Dummy] You know, that guy's
goatee does not look right.
- You know, I've had many
compliments on this goatee.
Many, many compliments.
Many compliments! Goatee.
(foreboding music)
(light buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Dell screaming)
(teeth chomping)
(stick thudding)
Yeah!
(Sarra screaming)
(foreboding music)
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
What was that? Did you see her?
She was, she was
trying to bite me, Max.
Who does that?
- We need to find Sarra.
Wipe your face, Dell.
(suspenseful music)
- Max!
Don't forget me, Max.
(concerned music)
- What?
(Max groans)
(door creaking)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growling)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growling)
(flesh crunching)
- Anytime, Dell!
(tense music)
(light buzzing)
(light humming)
(Dell gasps)
- What?
- I don't think, I don't
think it's as bad as it looks.
No! No.
- You were supposed to
hit him with the hammer!
Well, I've, I've heard
of people with nails
in their heads and
they turned out okay.
- I have a hammer
in my head now.
- Well, all I'm sayin',
All I'm sayin' is that
it could be worse,
and I'm sorry.
- What?
- I, I, I'm sorry.
- Oh, don't bother, doc.
I can't do needles.
- Oh don't tell me you're
scared of a little needle.
- Scared enough to
rip your arm off
if you come near
me with that thing.
- (chuckles) Okay, if
you feel that strongly,
have it your way, but
don't say I didn't warn ya.
Here we go.
(Max cringing)
Boy, that's really in there.
(doctor straining)
(Max moaning)
(piece of skull slaps)
(Dell shrieking)
- Oh!
Oh!
(Dell shrieking)
- Sorry about that.
(doctor blowing)
(curious music)
You know, the military invented
the super fast
acting superior glue.
Medics used it on
the battlefield
to help glue wounds together
to stem the bleeding.
Worked like a charm.
(tense music)
(wound squelches)
There you go.
Good as new.
You're just gonna have
to be a little careful
of that area for a while.
- Thanks, doc.
(foreboding music)
(moves to suspenseful music)
(air whooshing)
- Batter up.
- Let's find Sarra.
- (sighs) Why aren't
you infected, Max?
Why?
- Remember, me mateys, the
pessimist sees difficulty
in every opportunity.
And the optimist sees
opportunity in every difficulty.
You have to ask yourself;
am I a pessimist or
am I an optimist?
- Max!
Max!
What's my name, Max?
What's my name?
Say my name, Max.
- [Max] Sarra.
- Max.
- Max.
Max!
And we're back.
- Okay, it's game time.
- What?
- It's game time.
Come on, it'll
loosen the tension.
You might even have some fun.
And fun's not a bad
word, you can do it, Max.
Open up.
- I am open Dell.
- Yeah, sure you are.
Hey, hang on.
Okay, if you could be
any baseball player
in the 40s or 50s,
who would you be?
Just say a name.
Pick anybody, just say a name.
- (sighs) Ted Williams.
- Yes!
The Splendid Splinter,
the last 400 hitter.
Some say the. Wait,
wait a minute.
Some say the greatest career
hitter in all baseball history.
Good choice.
You know who would I pick?
- I can't wait, Dell.
- Hammerin' Hank Greenberg,
Berg, Berg, Berg.
One of the most beloved
sluggers in Tigers history.
Detroit, baby.
(Sarra screaming)
(tense music)
(man retching)
- Hey!
Hey, man. You okay?
- I think so. (gagging)
It must have been
something I ate.
- Yeah, I don't
miss mess hall food.
- (chuckles) Yeah, me neither.
I didn't think I ate that much.
- Maybe it's your nerves?
- What? Mess hall
food scares me?
- It scares the hell outta me.
- (chuckles) Yeah, me
too, if I'm honest.
(Sarra screaming)
- That. That scares me
a hell of a lot more.
(chainsaw motor whirring)
- I got this.
(chainsaw engine whirring)
- We got this.
(Quaid gagging)
- Ah, no.
Ah, no.
No!
No, Quaid!
(Quaid hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Dell moans)
(suspenseful music)
(lights buzzing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire whooshing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire whooshing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(fist thuds)
(blood squelches)
(solemn music)
(Max spits)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Max thuds)
(heart monitor bleeping)
- Cowboy up, Max.
(solemn music)
(continues bleep)
- [Doctor] Don't tell me
you're scared of a needle?
- [Max] Scared enough
to rip your arm off.
- I'm giving you a chance, Max.
(solemn music)
(electricity buzzing)
(doctor straining)
(Max moaning)
Boy, that's really in there.
Get down!
(Dell shrieking)
- You okay, Max?
- Um, yeah.
(wound squelches)
- There you go.
- Well, thanks, doc.
(air whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- You sure you're okay?
- Let's find Sarra.
- Oh my!
Greetings and salutations.
- Who are you?
- I could ask you the
same thing, but I won't.
I'm Mr. Witz.
("Habanera")
I'm a long-term guest of the
captain, if you must know.
- Define long-term.
- Hmm, will 17 years suffice?
- 17?
- I don't do well out there.
And the captain
was gracious enough
to understand my frivolity,
and offered me sanctuary.
- And what do you do for him?
- Well, I pay rent of course.
And also sometimes we
share a delightful dinner,
complete with nostalgic
reminiscences of days gone by.
- So you mainly
stay in your cabin?
- Well the passageways can
be kind of claustrophobic,
but you get used to it.
But I'm very content with
my current humble abode.
My lair, as 'twere.
I rarely venture forth
into the wild beyond.
- That's a good thing today.
- And why do you say so?
- The ship has,
uh, an infection.
- Oh, paff!
And I was just thinking
of venturing forth.
- That's not going to happen.
- Oh dear, sweet baby Jesus.
(sighs) I guess I'll
have to console myself
with another
delectable libation.
Uh, would you gentlemen
care to join me?
- Hmm, maybe another time.
- Yes.
Another time.
That would be most delightful.
I assume you're on a
quest of some sort.
- You could say that.
- I just did. (chuckles)
I made a joke. (laughs)
Oh, that doesn't happen often.
You have lifted my spirits.
Well, adios, amigos,
and happy hunting.
- Who wears a smoking
jacket these days?
Must be on the wrong boat.
- Ship.
- That's what I said.
- You said boat.
- No I didn't.
- [Max] You said boat.
- [Dell] Max, I
know the difference
between a boat and a ship.
(dramatic foreboding music)
(vampire blipping)
- Remember, me mateys,
failure will never overcome us
if our determination to
succeed is strong enough.
In other words, failure
is not an option.
It matters not that we fall.
What really matters is that
we rise, and rise again.
(suspenseful music)
(chainsaw whirring)
(vampires blipping)
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
- You know, my mom
worries about me a lot.
She'll be very upset if you
let anything happen to me.
- I got your back, Dell.
Your mom can rest easy.
- I love my mom.
She does have that
nasty temper, though.
Well, I see right through that.
I mean, we talk every
week, she needs me,
she really does, Max.
Okay, game time.
You're on a desert
island and you can have
any actress from the 60s
or 70s there with you.
You know, sharing shenanigans.
So, I know you're with
Sarra, but just for fun,
who would you pick?
(curious music)
You hear somethin'?
- No. No.
- So, who would you pick?
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growling)
(lights buzzing)
(thunder rumbling)
(Max and Dell groaning)
(blows thudding)
(vampire hissing)
(Max and Dell grunting)
(blows thudding)
(vampire growling)
(clothes ripping)
(tense music)
(vampire growling)
(vampire hissing)
(Sarra screaming)
(lights buzzing)
(hammer thuds)
(vampire growls)
(head pops)
(Max grunts)
(Max shrieking)
(blood squelches)
(Max and Dell screaming)
(head thuds)
Max!
- We're not in Kansas anymore.
- (gasps) Huh!
(vampire growling)
(teeth snapping)
Steak dinner on me.
(hammer thuds)
(tense music)
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
- Wow!
The heart's the weakness.
- Like most of us, Dell.
Like most of us.
(Sarra screaming)
This is outta sequence.
What's outta sequence?
Did you see her?
- Only in my dreams,
dude, only in my dreams.
- Hey! Manners, please.
- But.
- Uh, we didn't
see anyone, did we?
- Not a living soul.
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
- Uh! Uh-oh.
Uh, uh, oh no, I, I'm melting.
I'm melting. (chuckles)
(both chuckle)
What? You didn't see
"The Wizard of Oz"?
There's, there's no
place like a dirty ship.
There's no place
like a dirty ship.
- You'll have to excuse us, we
don't get up here that often.
- Well you should go back to
your engine room, it's safer.
- There's an infection.
- Hey, how do you know that
we work in the engine room.
See, I told you we were
getting a reputation.
I'll have you know that
we look great in a tuxedo,
and you should see how
we score with the ladies.
A cha cha cha.
What? I'm not gonna let
those guys insult us.
Especially that one.
Hey, you!
You know what?
Your goatee sucks!
- What?
(Sarra screaming)
- We need to go,
and you need to go.
- You don't have to tell
me twice, I ain't no dummy.
- I like my goatee.
- As well you should.
- I get compliments
all the time.
- You're singing to the choir.
- Now you're just
being sarcastic.
- Sarcasms is just one of
my many services, Dell.
(vampires blipping)
(foreboding music)
- Max!
(eerie music)
(vampires blipping)
- Sarra!
(lights buzzing)
- So tell me.
Tell me about your life, Max.
I wanna know all about you.
Your dreams, my desires.
And I want you to know about me.
I'm not just a pretty face, Max.
I'm pretty on the inside too.
(solemn music)
I'm giving you a chance, Max.
Don't screw it up.
- Max!
- I need to find her!
- Remember, me mateys,
believe in yourself.
You are braver than you think,
more talented than you
know, and capable of more,
so much more, more, more.
(chuckles nervously)
(foreboding music)
(Bob screaming)
(suspenseful music)
(curious music)
(tense music)
(vampire hissing)
(Bob screaming)
(flashlight thuds)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire screeching)
(Bob screaming)
(suspenseful music)
(Bob whimpering)
(vampire growling)
(lights buzzing)
(blow thuds)
(tense music)
(vampire gurgling)
There'll be no more shenanigans
for you on this ship,
matey. (chuckles nervously)
- Don't go that way, there's a
real big, bad one down there.
- Are you alone?
- Not when I've got this baby.
- Is there a female down there?
A red head?
- Yeah, here's a female.
Don't say I didn't warn y'all.
- What are you doing?
What if we get caught?
- By who?
There's no one on
this hunk of metal.
Why you think they didn't
come to find us for our shift?
- I know, it's kind
of change, right?
- It's 'cause they don't
know what they're doing.
And that's good for us.
Pay and play, baby.
(distant thud)
- What was that?
- Ghosts.
(girl with beanie chuckles)
(foreboding music)
- No, I think there's
someone there.
- We're alone. Stop
being paranoid.
We're just getting high.
(girl with beanie gasps)
(lighter clanking)
(girl with beanie giggling)
What? You're closer.
- Ugh. God, this
floor is filthy.
(lights buzzing)
(vampires blipping)
- Pita?
Pita!
(tense music)
(girl screaming)
- [Dell] My mom
called the other day.
She asked how you were.
She likes you, I don't know why.
- I like her too.
- [Dell] She thinks
you're a good guy.
- We're all good and bad, Dell.
Even you.
- Max!
(tense music)
- What are you doing over there?
- I thought I heard something.
(Pita screaming frantically)
Wait, come back!
Did you see her? What was that?
What is she running from?
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
(vampires hissing)
(fist thuds)
(blood squelching)
(vampire grunts)
(Dell groaning)
(Dell thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(Max grunting)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire screeching)
(flesh crunching)
(vampire hissing)
(solemn music)
- Why don't you come
up and see me sometime?
- [Doctor] Oh, don't
tell me you're scared
of a little needle.
- [Max] Scared enough
to rip your arm off
if you come near
me with that thing.
- [Doctor] Here we go.
(Dell shrieks)
(lights buzzing)
- [Dell] You okay, Max?
- Yeah.
- There you go.
(air whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- Let's play ball.
- Oh, me, I'm late.
I'm late, I'm late for
an very important date.
There's no time to
say hello and goodbye,
I'm late, I'm late, I'm. (gasps)
Hello?
What, you?
You must work in the
engine room? (growls)
Yeah, I overslept
through my watch,
and now I'm, I.
Oh, I get it!
You must be with that new group
we're supposed to
keep an eye on.
I have to tell you,
you're not the friendliest
blokes we've ever had on board.
You're not gluten free, are ya?
Because, I read, if you
don't get enough gluten,
you lose your
communication skills.
Just saying.
No offense. No offense.
I meant no...
If it's agreeable with you,
I think I'm just gonna go
back the, uh, same way.
(lights buzzing)
Argh!
- [Dell] You don't look so good.
- [Max] You've known me a
long time; was I ever sick?
- [Dell] You mean
physically or mentally?
- [Max] Sick. Like the flu?
- Well, I don't know where
you're going with this,
but I'll play.
Sick? Let me see.
No, can't see I remember
you ever being sick.
Wait!
What about that time when you
were away for a few months?
- That wasn't physical, Dell.
The worst time was at night.
I could hear the other
inmates crying, screaming.
They finally settled on electric
shock treatments for me.
I think I scream
louder than anyone.
- Max. I'm sorry.
- Let's just say, if I
have to do electrical work
on the house, I don't have
to turn off the power.
(Dell chuckles)
(Sarra screaming)
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
- There's an infection!
Go back to the engine room.
And don't try to scare anyone.
- Now how did they know that?
Huh?
(foreboding music)
(tense music)
(vampires hissing)
(vampires growling)
- Stake her, Dell!
- I'm trying!
- Stake her! Stake her!
(vampire yelling)
(knife thudding)
(vampire laughing)
- Dell, stab her
heart, not body.
Do it!
(knife thuds)
(vampire gargles)
(vampire thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(concerned music)
- Sorry, (chuckles) my
aim was meant to be true.
Their weakness, it's the heart.
How did you know?
- Lucky guess.
Make sure we don't
get separated, Dell.
- [Dell] I didn't know
you cared so much.
(lights buzzing)
Now who's that?
- They call me Mr. Witz.
- Who?
- What, are we rat hunting?
- There's an infection.
- And you are disease control?
- Stay in your
cabin. Lock the door.
- You know it costs absolutely
nothing to be civil.
That is so lacking
in today's society.
- Stay in your
cabin, pretty please?
- Well, if you put it that way.
- [Dell] My mom called
a couple days ago.
She asked how you were.
- Did you tell
her I met someone?
- Well, I hate to
break it to you, Max,
but Sarra's, Sarra's not
gonna be like she was.
She's, she's not like us now.
And don't shoot the messenger.
- I remember my first dog.
She was my best
friend, my only friend.
And when she started limping,
my uncle had her put down.
It was probably only a sprain.
- Well, Sarra's not a pet.
- And I'm not my uncle.
- Ugh!
Ah!
Ugh!
A horse.
A horse, a kingdom for a horse.
(solemn music)
(lights buzzing)
It's you again.
Didn't get enough of
me last time, did ya?
Come on and get me then.
Come on and get me!
There you go and freeze.
What's the matter,
cat got your tongue?
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(vampires hissing)
(man screaming)
(blows thudding)
- This will never work.
- O ye of little faith.
This will work.
Let's do this.
- How do you even know
they like raw meat?
- I saw the massacre
in the cafeteria.
Trust me, they like meat,
and they like it raw.
- How much do you think
we can get for a live one?
- The sky's the limit.
If that doc won't pay, maybe
we can sell it to the circus.
- I like the elephants.
And the trapeze girls.
They're always so pretty.
- Shh.
When that chain moves, we
jerk it with all our might.
And then we hook that sucker.
(tense music)
- Hey, where did you
guys find the meat?
- The frozen storage locker.
- And it's not infected?
- Nope.
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
- Hey, wanna join us for dinner?
- Sure.
- Love to.
- Oh yeah.
- Tell me again, Dell.
Dell?
- Max.
- What part of
don't get separated
do you know not understand?
- I thought I heard something.
- Get outta there, Dell.
(Pita screaming frantically)
(suspenseful music)
- Wait, come back!
(foreboding music)
- Run!
(lights buzzing)
(fist thud)
(blood squelches)
(vampire grunts)
(Dell thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(solemn music)
(lights buzzing)
(knife thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(vampire thuds)
(tense music)
(Sarra hissing)
(blood squelches)
- [Max] Have I ever been sick?
(curious music)
- Of course you have.
All my boys get
sick now and then.
- [Max] When?
When was I sick?
- What are you going on about?
- [Max] When?
- Max, I'm your mother,
of course I know if
you been sick or not.
- [Max] When?
- Ugh. Now don't be silly.
Everyone gets sick.
(solemn music)
Everyone gets ill, Max.
Everyone except you.
- Max!
Max!
Get up and fight, Max!
(Max moans)
(Dell shrieks)
- Let me at 'em.
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(fist thuds)
(Dell gags)
(Sarra growls)
(blood squelches)
(suspenseful music)
- Bite me.
(dummy barks)
(Dell shrieks)
(dummy laughing)
(lights buzzing)
- Stake this.
(hand slaps)
Love bites.
- Happy hunting.
- Let's burn this mother down.
(lights buzzing)
Somebody's gonna die tonight.
I'm feelin' a little batty.
This ain't hopscotch, Pablo.
I hate this boat.
- [Dell] Ship.
- Whatever.
(tense music)
Maybe we're here
for a reason, Dell.
- I know I am.
I'm most wanted wherever I am.
In great demand am I.
You're not going all
spiritual on me, are ya?
- What would you do if you
knew you were about to die?
- We're not gonna die, Max.
- What would you do?
- Well, (sighs) I'd
like my mom to know.
She worries about
me all the time,
and I'd want her to know that
she didn't have
to worry anymore.
About me, I mean.
I'd want that for her.
(Sarra screaming)
That sounds a little like Sarra.
- I'll be back.
- What? You need me, Max.
- Make sure that room
is ready for Sarra.
- Oh, who's gonna
have your back.
- You always have and
you always will, Dell.
(suspenseful music)
- Max said he's coming
back with Sarra.
- (chuckles) And just how's
he planning to do that?
- He didn't say, but he wants
you to have this room ready.
- I see.
You know, there's something
odd about your friend there.
His blood is very unique.
Very, very unique.
I think he needs to prepare
for a profuse amount
of testing when he gets back.
- You're dreamin', doc.
He just wants to get
his girlfriend back.
- Ah, true love, is it?
Well, I think your friend Max
is flying a bit too
close to the sun.
And if he's not
extremely careful, he's
going to get burned.
Badly burned.
- Well, what's this
thing want with Sarra?
- Well, I finally confirmed
my initial thought.
The oldest known rule in
the universe: propagation.
- (chuckles) Now you're
just being disgusting, doc.
- Well, be that as it may,
I do wish Max every success
in bringing Sarra back here.
But I fear-
- It's too late for her?
- She's infected.
Max is chasing an
illusion of what once was.
He's hoping that
she's still the same.
- Maybe.
But sometimes, doc, sometimes
all you have is hope.
(solemn music)
(vampire blipping)
(lights buzzing)
(lights buzzing)
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
(foreboding music)
- Argh!
Ugh!
(vampire groaning)
(air whooshing)
(Max blows)
(fingers tapping)
- I don't see how that
is being productive.
- Yours is not to wonder why.
I'm going to the head.
- I'll log it into our books.
- By the way, I think your
dead rat is breathing.
(rat squeaking)
(curious music)
(solemn music)
(suspenseful music)
(Bob screaming)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Bob whimpering)
(vampire screeching)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire gurgling)
- Head this ship home, captain.
- You don't have
to tell an old salt
like me more than once, matey.
(water splashing)
(solemn music)
- No sign yet.
(rat squeaking)
Looks like your
fountain of youth
will have to wait
a bit longer, doc.
(solemn music)
(door latches clanking)
(curious music)
(people laughing)
(tense music)
(curious music)
(all laughing)
- Hey, do you know why
Bach had so many kids?
- Huh-uh.
- He didn't have any
stops on his organs.
(all laughing)
(foreboding music)
(vampire blipping)
(ethereal music)
- (hand slams) Come on!
(hand slams) Come on!
(hand slams) Come on!
(hand slams) Come on!
(lights buzzing)
(vampire blipping)
(foreboding music)
(lights buzzing)
(suspenseful music)
(lights buzzing)
(blow thuds)
(vampire thuds)
(air whooshing)
(vampire laughing)
(air whooshing)
(vampire laughing)
(hammer knocking)
(vampire laughing)
(steam hissing)
(vampire screaming)
(exalted music)
(suspenseful music)
(vampire screaming)
Steak time!
(flesh squelches)
(exalted music)
(vampire groans)
(solemn music)
(flesh squelches)
(door latches clanking)
(tense music)
(water splashing)
Sweet dreams, doc.
(somber music)
(chair rattling)
- I can't believe you
caught her with a net.
You really think
this is gonna work?
- I don't know, but I can't
live without her, Dell.
- I don't know, Max.
(gentle music)
(chair rattling)
(Sarra moaning)
(Sarra growling)
(Sarra moaning)
(dramatic music)
(thunder rumbling)
- [Sarra] You
still love me, Max?
(thunder rumbling)
Max!
Stop biting me.
(gentle music)
(people playing)
(people chattering)
You don't look so good.
- I feel great.
- Do you still believe
in love at for sight?
- More than ever.
- So now I'm all yours, Max.
I'm all yours.
(gentle bright music)
(soft music)
(foreboding music)
(tense music)
- Looks like you're in
the wrong town, stranger.
- Funny, I was gonna say
the same thing about you.
(cowboy spitting)
- Maybe it ain't hearin' me?
- Oh, I heard you.
I just don't care.
- But there's three of us.
(tense music)
- You kicked the wrong dog.
(gun snapping)
(guns firing)
Giddy up.
(gun fires)
(tense music)
(body thuds)
(man blows)
Yee-haw.
(gentle music)
(moves to upbeat music)
I like that hat.
(gun fires)
(man screams)
The problem you have is that
the devil lives in my gun.
(gun fires)
(man screams)
Don't get comfortable, amigo,
you're not gonna
be here that long.
(gun fires)
(man screaming)
(speaking in foreign language)
(gun fires)
(man screaming)
(gentle music)
(tense music)
(vampire screeching)
(electricity buzzing)
(upbeat rock music)
The devil held me
down for a while
He broke my back
and cramped my style
I fought long, I fought hard
But not hard
enough to get away
Nobody ever gets away
From the bottom I looked up
I said, "The devil,
you ain't so tough"
You look hot, you look mean
But not mean enough
to make me stay
No way I'm gonna stay
No
Heard him say
You better run from
the devil on your own
Nobody out in hell is
gonna bring you home
Not even tortured souls
or the screamin' bone
It's the sound of the
hounds of rock and roll
We'll rock and roll
Going dark
I'm outta time
I was just about
to lose my mind
It's when a cobra came to me
It said it's time to
set you free today
I'm finally gonna get away
And then the devil said
You cannot run from
the devil on your own
Nobody out in hell is
gonna bring you home
No even tortured souls
or the screamin' bone
This is the sound of the
hounds of rock and roll
Yeah, rock and roll
Yeah yeah
Wow
(blowtorch whooshes)
(gas hissing)
(blowtorch crackling)
(door handle clanks)
- We got it, man. Good.
Hey, what's on the bottom of
my mother-in-law's beer bottle?
- What?
- What's on the bottom
of my mother-in-law's
beer bottle?
- I don't know
your mother-in-law.
- That's not the point.
What's on the bottom of my
mother-in-law's beer bottle?
Open other end.
(chuckles) Hey! Oh!
Ah, uh, listen,
I can tailor make the
joke to whoever you want.
Wife, girlfriend, boyfriend,
misses, you name it.
(groans) That hurts,
that really hurts.
Now open the door!
- What do you think's behind it?
- Oh, let me see.
Riches beyond belief!
- Let's see.
- Good.
(door creaking)
(tense music)
(electricity buzzing)
(Both men screaming)
(flesh squelching)
(playful carnival music)
- What about my cat?
- You mean that one-eyed
stray you rescued
that hates every
human being but you?
Board her in a kennel
like normal people do.
- She might get fleas.
I'm not a big fan
of fleas, Dell.
- Come on!
It'll be like old times.
I need ya on this, Max.
- I get seasick, Dell.
- It's not a boat, it's a ship.
It's so huge you won't
even feel the motion.
- I can't swim.
- You will never
ever touch the water.
This is the great thing
about a boat, ship,
it's like a block of
dry land on the water.
- It's not my style.
- Style?
I didn't know you had a style.
Come on, you'll make
a huge chunk of change
for basically babysitting
my cousin's boat, ship.
- I don't think so.
- Are you sure?
- Hey, Dell.
- Oh, Hi, Sarra.
- How's it going?
- Great. How you doing?
- I'm great. Who's your friend?
- This is Max.
- Hi, Max.
- Hi.
- So, are you
gonna join our team
on our little sea adventure?
- Oh yeah. I wouldn't miss it.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- See ya aboard.
- See ya on board.
What? She's gorgeous.
- See you on board. (laughs)
(thunder rumbling)
(rain pattering)
(people screaming)
(alarm wailing)
(upbeat rock music)
(water burbling)
(upbeat rock music)
(helicopter whirring)
(upbeat rock music)
- And this is my
cousin. Captain Bob.
- Hm, Delli boy says
you have brass balls.
- Uh, they're much, much
softer now, captain.
- (laughs) So, you were a
fixer for the deep state,
cloak and dagger type stuff.
They bring a gun,
you bring a bazooka.
Take no prisoners?
- Yeah, somethin' like that.
- Very nice you
could join us, Max.
- Captain.
- Mm-hmm.
- Who's steering the boat?
- A ship.
- Whatever!
Autopilot is a
wondrous thing, Max.
A wondrous thing.
Aye, they're paying
me a small fortune
to allow them to do
some testing out here
in a beautiful open sea.
Only stipulations:
skeleton crew,
no outside communications,
and no firearms. (chuckles)
- And who's they?
- Well, they say they're
from our side, but who knows?
The important thing
is the check cleared,
me mateys. (laughs)
They cause no problems.
They are no problem.
- He needs you and I
to keep a close watch
and try to find out
what's really going on.
- Delli boy says
you can be trusted.
- You have my word on it.
- So it's all settled then.
I need you to protect my ship
from any nefarious activities.
Oh, you may not need
to get involved at all,
but my instincts, my instincts
point to the contrary.
There'll be no lootin'
and lollygagging
aboard my ship, me
mateys. (laughs)
- And what's with that leg?
- Oh, well this is the
same walnut leg that-
- Oak.
- Whatever!
This is the same leg
that my father inherited
from his father, and
his father before that,
and his father before
that, a bull shark.
- Great white.
- Whatever!
Some sinful shark took his leg
to the black bottom
of the open sea.
And all I have is this,
this ancient wooden relic,
to remind me that danger lurks
around every watery corner.
- And do you ever wear it?
- Only when the
dignitaries show up.
I like to put on a show for
those loopy landlubbers, argh!
(Dell and Bob laughing)
(determined music)
(moves to elated music)
- Pretty bat.
- This is my setup.
And I wanna tell ya, I'm master
of the universe right here.
- I'm sure you are, Dell.
- I can watch every
thing from here.
Except that room.
I don't know how they did it,
but it's been blacked out.
(curious music)
- Now. See that red line?
That's a person.
Or, at least, I
think it's a person.
He hasn't moved, ever.
And here's something
else that's interesting.
See that line?
That's audio in the room.
Hear that?
(rapid blipping)
That's the sound he's making.
Now.
(monitor bleeps)
That's the sound of bat makes.
Somehow he's mimicking
the sound of a bat.
- Maybe there's bat
in the room, Dell.
- You have no
imagination, do you?
I'm telling ya, Max, something,
something strange is
happening in that room.
(monitor bleeps)
- Where is that?
- (sighs) Directly
below this deck.
Hang a hard right at
the bottom of the steps.
And try to keep a
shred of dignity.
She may not be all that
and a bag of chips.
- I'll keep that in mind, Dell.
- Yeah, I bet you will.
(monitor bleeps)
I'm telling you Max.
Something wicked this way comes.
(monitor bleeps)
(foreboding music)
(creature blipping)
- Hey there!
- Oh, hey, Max.
Glad you could make it.
Is there, is there
something in my hair?
What, what are you,
what are you staring at?
- Do you believe and
love at first sight?
- (giggles) I think
you're going a little
too fast there, cowboy.
I don't know you, and
you don't know me.
- I'm just a cog in the wheel.
- Ah!
A cog in the wheel?
- That's right.
- You know, you're
not wooin' me, Max.
Why don't you try telling
me something personal?
Come on, tell me
something personal.
- Well, I have a tendency
to drink too much
and then laugh too loud.
I have trouble being real.
But I have no trouble
fighting for what I want.
And just for the
record, I want you.
What else?
I get hurt easily.
I try not to show it.
And to top off my amazing life,
I live with a one-eyed
cat named Pie,
and she thinks I'm outstanding.
- Oh, outstanding,
huh? (chuckles)
- Mm-hmm.
Now you.
Come on. You.
- Okay, let's see.
Uh. I live alone.
Not because I want to,
but because I haven't
found the right guy.
Guess I'm a little
hard to please.
I work too much and I sleep
way too little. (chuckles)
And I don't suffer
fools lightly.
So, be warned.
And when I get hurt, I show it.
So, be warned, again.
(chuckles) I think
I'm funny and clever.
And all the guys that I've
dated think I'm outstanding.
- Touche.
(Sarra chuckling)
- So, you still love me, Max?
- Oh yeah. More than ever.
- You're movin' a
little fast here, Max.
- I don't wanna
move slow with you.
- Okay, well, if
that's the case,
my cabin is just
around the corner.
- I always wanted
to be a cabin boy.
(Sarra chuckles)
- Okay then, cabin
boy, follow me.
(gentle music)
(feelgood rock and roll music)
You better never do
Anything that
I've want to do
- You've got about 30
bloody people out there.
They wanna rip my head off
if they don't get some food.
- Rome was not build in a day.
Excellence knows no timetable.
And you, by the way, do
not know how to count.
- Just looks like stew to me.
- Ah, but what a
stew it would be.
Five minutes to perfection.
- I'll be back.
- Hmm.
(feelgood rock and
roll music continues)
You better never stray
Too far from the family way
Or you will see the day
(foreboding music)
(mosquito buzzing)
- Perfection.
Absolute per-
Argh!
(cook screaming)
(kitchenware clanking)
(cook thuds)
Ah, ah, oh.
(steam whistling)
(cook moaning)
(intense music)
(cook screaming)
(kitchenware clanking)
(siren wailing)
(cook thuds)
(cook groans)
(kitchenware clanking)
(moves to solemn music)
- What the hell is
going on in here?
(moves to tense music)
(electricity buzzing)
Never let you get away
(electricity buzzing)
(tense music)
(people screaming)
(alarm wailing)
(knocking on door)
(foreboding music)
- We've got a big problem.
- Where is the rest of her?
We got a meeting with the doc.
(tense music)
(door slams)
- Miss me already, Max?
- I just wanna make
sure you're okay.
- Oh, well that's we sweet.
- Sweet used to be my nickname.
- (chuckles) That's cute.
I mean, sweet.
Sweet. (chuckles)
- I think you
should come with me.
- I think you should understand
that I'm a big girl and
I can protect myself.
It's who's gonna protect you?
That's the real question.
- I thought maybe you would?
- Hmm, I'd like that.
- Come on. Come with me.
- Gimme 10 minutes and
I'll meet you, okay?
- All right.
I'm going to give you
my good luck charm.
- Oh.
- As long as you keep this,
you're going to be safe.
- Okay.
I promise that I will scream
if anything out of
the ordinary happens.
But right now, a girl
needs her privacy.
So, go!
(gentle music)
(Sarra chuckles)
Hey, Max.
I believe in love
at first sight.
- Let me reiterate that you
have all signed
confidentiality agreements.
And what I'm about
to share with you
is part of those agreements.
- Aye.
But what's in the darkened
locked room, doctor?
- That.
Well that is a being,
over 400 years old.
Conceivably, thousands
of years old.
Oh, it looks human enough,
but it has no weakness in
the conventional sense.
I don't think we could
kill it if we tried.
But think of the
possibilities, gentlemen.
Maybe cures for all
ailments and diseases.
Maybe, maybe even
everlasting life.
- Maybe everlasting death.
- (chuckles) We are on the brink
of an evolutionary miracle,
and he wants to say
the sky is falling.
- (chuckles) Aye.
I'm too jaded to believe
in the fountain of youth!
- Then color me skeptical, doc.
- Open your eyes, Max.
See the future.
We are the saviors
of that future.
- Well, what happened
in the cafeteria?
- A mistake.
But, nonetheless, an experiment
that had to happen sometime.
Better now.
- Those people, doc?
- Collateral damage,
nothing more, nothing less.
- Well, you certainly have
a funny pet here, doc.
- In our experiments,
a single bite
from our ground zero subject
will either kill you
or transform you.
It killed the rat.
- How's Sarra involved?
- Well, you see,
she was the first
and only reporter on
the scene when it...
When he was captured.
He became visibly agitated
when he sensed her.
So that's why she's here.
I mean, we may need her to
report, of course, but also-
- She's here for your
testing experiments.
- She simply walked
by the holding area
and his vitals went
through the roof.
We need to know why.
The people in the
cafeteria were expendable.
But Subject Ground Zero is not.
We must have him alive and well.
- Are you saying he's escaped?
- Aye.
I'm heading my ship to
the nearest port, mateys.
- No, no, no, that's
not possible, captain.
If the infected were to
break out onto terra firma,
we'd all be doomed.
We need to capture
and secure him.
All others are expendable.
(suspenseful music)
That's why you're
here, isn't it?
- Sarra!
(tense music)
(foreboding music)
(Sarra moaning)
(suspenseful music)
(Sarra breathing frantically)
(tense music)
(alarm wailing)
- What's that now?
- We're too late.
- You heard the doc, that
thing's not gonna hurt her.
And Max, you may wanna
brace yourself that Sarra's-
- [Max] What?
- You know, that she's
not gonna be like she was.
You may have to say
goodbye to that Sarra.
- I live with a
one-eyed cat, Dell.
My entertainment is a local
bar or a shooting range.
She's the one.
She's the only one for me.
I need her like
water in the desert,
and I'm not gonna let
anyone, or any thing,
take her from me.
- Good to know.
- Aye, I don't care what
that crazy doctor wants.
I should be steering my baby
to the nearest port, mateys.
- You really have
no communications?
- They said they'll
jam the ship.
SOS won't even go out.
- And no guns?
- Not a one.
And they blocked your
surveillance cameras.
- How?
- (chuckles) Mine is
not to wonder why.
- Where to?
- We find Sarra.
- Uh, we're in for a
stormy night. (chuckles)
Hell hath no fury like
a man on a mission.
Hmm. (chuckles)
- Grab a torch.
(ghostly voice)
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
Where is she? Did you see her?
- No, I didn't see anyone.
Did you?
- Well, if you didn't
see her, I surely didn't.
- Whoa, who are you guys?
- Ah, we work down
in the engine room,
we just came up for some food.
- Well, don't go
into the mess hall.
- Why not?
Any dummy knows that's where
they keep the food. (chuckles)
- (chuckles) That
was a good one.
Sorry.
Manners please.
- Manners snanners!
I'm hungry!
- Well the...
The mess hall food's infected.
- Always have been. (chuckles)
- (laughing) Oh, you'll
have to excuse us,
we don't come up from
below very often.
You know, we just-
- Oh, look at me,
I'm all covered in grease.
Oh, oh, all I do is work,
work, work every day.
Ah, ah, I can even reach
the controls down there.
- Well, just,
just, there, there.
He's just kinda-
- Exhausted.
Oh, every day, all I do is
just cry, cry. (sobbing)
- Oh, hey, hey.
Hey, cheer up.
Just, just put it under the
chair and leave it there.
- Seriously?
- Hey.
- Okay.
(dummy barks)
(Dell shrieks)
(dummy cackling)
- Hey, that's not funny.
- Yes it is, did you see
how high that guy jumped?
(dummy barks)
(Dell screams)
- Now stop it.
- What's wrong with you?
- He, he's sorry.
He, he really is.
Are, aren't you?
Aren't you?
- Oh.
I'm sincerely sorry.
Ah, dude, I didn't
mean to scare you.
- Well thanks for that,
that's much appreciated.
(Sarra screaming)
- Uh, you should go back
down to your engine room.
I'll let you know when
it's safe to come up.
- Oh, goody.
Now we can go down and eat some
of that red sausage
that I, I really love.
- Oh, don't exaggerate.
Let's, let's just go.
- [Dummy] You know, that guy's
goatee does not look right.
- You know, I've had many
compliments on this goatee.
Many, many compliments.
Many compliments! Goatee.
(foreboding music)
(light buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Dell screaming)
(teeth chomping)
(stick thudding)
Yeah!
(Sarra screaming)
(foreboding music)
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
What was that? Did you see her?
She was, she was
trying to bite me, Max.
Who does that?
- We need to find Sarra.
Wipe your face, Dell.
(suspenseful music)
- Max!
Don't forget me, Max.
(concerned music)
- What?
(Max groans)
(door creaking)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growling)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growling)
(flesh crunching)
- Anytime, Dell!
(tense music)
(light buzzing)
(light humming)
(Dell gasps)
- What?
- I don't think, I don't
think it's as bad as it looks.
No! No.
- You were supposed to
hit him with the hammer!
Well, I've, I've heard
of people with nails
in their heads and
they turned out okay.
- I have a hammer
in my head now.
- Well, all I'm sayin',
All I'm sayin' is that
it could be worse,
and I'm sorry.
- What?
- I, I, I'm sorry.
- Oh, don't bother, doc.
I can't do needles.
- Oh don't tell me you're
scared of a little needle.
- Scared enough to
rip your arm off
if you come near
me with that thing.
- (chuckles) Okay, if
you feel that strongly,
have it your way, but
don't say I didn't warn ya.
Here we go.
(Max cringing)
Boy, that's really in there.
(doctor straining)
(Max moaning)
(piece of skull slaps)
(Dell shrieking)
- Oh!
Oh!
(Dell shrieking)
- Sorry about that.
(doctor blowing)
(curious music)
You know, the military invented
the super fast
acting superior glue.
Medics used it on
the battlefield
to help glue wounds together
to stem the bleeding.
Worked like a charm.
(tense music)
(wound squelches)
There you go.
Good as new.
You're just gonna have
to be a little careful
of that area for a while.
- Thanks, doc.
(foreboding music)
(moves to suspenseful music)
(air whooshing)
- Batter up.
- Let's find Sarra.
- (sighs) Why aren't
you infected, Max?
Why?
- Remember, me mateys, the
pessimist sees difficulty
in every opportunity.
And the optimist sees
opportunity in every difficulty.
You have to ask yourself;
am I a pessimist or
am I an optimist?
- Max!
Max!
What's my name, Max?
What's my name?
Say my name, Max.
- [Max] Sarra.
- Max.
- Max.
Max!
And we're back.
- Okay, it's game time.
- What?
- It's game time.
Come on, it'll
loosen the tension.
You might even have some fun.
And fun's not a bad
word, you can do it, Max.
Open up.
- I am open Dell.
- Yeah, sure you are.
Hey, hang on.
Okay, if you could be
any baseball player
in the 40s or 50s,
who would you be?
Just say a name.
Pick anybody, just say a name.
- (sighs) Ted Williams.
- Yes!
The Splendid Splinter,
the last 400 hitter.
Some say the. Wait,
wait a minute.
Some say the greatest career
hitter in all baseball history.
Good choice.
You know who would I pick?
- I can't wait, Dell.
- Hammerin' Hank Greenberg,
Berg, Berg, Berg.
One of the most beloved
sluggers in Tigers history.
Detroit, baby.
(Sarra screaming)
(tense music)
(man retching)
- Hey!
Hey, man. You okay?
- I think so. (gagging)
It must have been
something I ate.
- Yeah, I don't
miss mess hall food.
- (chuckles) Yeah, me neither.
I didn't think I ate that much.
- Maybe it's your nerves?
- What? Mess hall
food scares me?
- It scares the hell outta me.
- (chuckles) Yeah, me
too, if I'm honest.
(Sarra screaming)
- That. That scares me
a hell of a lot more.
(chainsaw motor whirring)
- I got this.
(chainsaw engine whirring)
- We got this.
(Quaid gagging)
- Ah, no.
Ah, no.
No!
No, Quaid!
(Quaid hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Dell moans)
(suspenseful music)
(lights buzzing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire whooshing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire whooshing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(hand slaps)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growls)
(fist thuds)
(blood squelches)
(solemn music)
(Max spits)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Max thuds)
(heart monitor bleeping)
- Cowboy up, Max.
(solemn music)
(continues bleep)
- [Doctor] Don't tell me
you're scared of a needle?
- [Max] Scared enough
to rip your arm off.
- I'm giving you a chance, Max.
(solemn music)
(electricity buzzing)
(doctor straining)
(Max moaning)
Boy, that's really in there.
Get down!
(Dell shrieking)
- You okay, Max?
- Um, yeah.
(wound squelches)
- There you go.
- Well, thanks, doc.
(air whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- You sure you're okay?
- Let's find Sarra.
- Oh my!
Greetings and salutations.
- Who are you?
- I could ask you the
same thing, but I won't.
I'm Mr. Witz.
("Habanera")
I'm a long-term guest of the
captain, if you must know.
- Define long-term.
- Hmm, will 17 years suffice?
- 17?
- I don't do well out there.
And the captain
was gracious enough
to understand my frivolity,
and offered me sanctuary.
- And what do you do for him?
- Well, I pay rent of course.
And also sometimes we
share a delightful dinner,
complete with nostalgic
reminiscences of days gone by.
- So you mainly
stay in your cabin?
- Well the passageways can
be kind of claustrophobic,
but you get used to it.
But I'm very content with
my current humble abode.
My lair, as 'twere.
I rarely venture forth
into the wild beyond.
- That's a good thing today.
- And why do you say so?
- The ship has,
uh, an infection.
- Oh, paff!
And I was just thinking
of venturing forth.
- That's not going to happen.
- Oh dear, sweet baby Jesus.
(sighs) I guess I'll
have to console myself
with another
delectable libation.
Uh, would you gentlemen
care to join me?
- Hmm, maybe another time.
- Yes.
Another time.
That would be most delightful.
I assume you're on a
quest of some sort.
- You could say that.
- I just did. (chuckles)
I made a joke. (laughs)
Oh, that doesn't happen often.
You have lifted my spirits.
Well, adios, amigos,
and happy hunting.
- Who wears a smoking
jacket these days?
Must be on the wrong boat.
- Ship.
- That's what I said.
- You said boat.
- No I didn't.
- [Max] You said boat.
- [Dell] Max, I
know the difference
between a boat and a ship.
(dramatic foreboding music)
(vampire blipping)
- Remember, me mateys,
failure will never overcome us
if our determination to
succeed is strong enough.
In other words, failure
is not an option.
It matters not that we fall.
What really matters is that
we rise, and rise again.
(suspenseful music)
(chainsaw whirring)
(vampires blipping)
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
- You know, my mom
worries about me a lot.
She'll be very upset if you
let anything happen to me.
- I got your back, Dell.
Your mom can rest easy.
- I love my mom.
She does have that
nasty temper, though.
Well, I see right through that.
I mean, we talk every
week, she needs me,
she really does, Max.
Okay, game time.
You're on a desert
island and you can have
any actress from the 60s
or 70s there with you.
You know, sharing shenanigans.
So, I know you're with
Sarra, but just for fun,
who would you pick?
(curious music)
You hear somethin'?
- No. No.
- So, who would you pick?
(lights buzzing)
(vampire growling)
(lights buzzing)
(thunder rumbling)
(Max and Dell groaning)
(blows thudding)
(vampire hissing)
(Max and Dell grunting)
(blows thudding)
(vampire growling)
(clothes ripping)
(tense music)
(vampire growling)
(vampire hissing)
(Sarra screaming)
(lights buzzing)
(hammer thuds)
(vampire growls)
(head pops)
(Max grunts)
(Max shrieking)
(blood squelches)
(Max and Dell screaming)
(head thuds)
Max!
- We're not in Kansas anymore.
- (gasps) Huh!
(vampire growling)
(teeth snapping)
Steak dinner on me.
(hammer thuds)
(tense music)
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
- Wow!
The heart's the weakness.
- Like most of us, Dell.
Like most of us.
(Sarra screaming)
This is outta sequence.
What's outta sequence?
Did you see her?
- Only in my dreams,
dude, only in my dreams.
- Hey! Manners, please.
- But.
- Uh, we didn't
see anyone, did we?
- Not a living soul.
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
- Uh! Uh-oh.
Uh, uh, oh no, I, I'm melting.
I'm melting. (chuckles)
(both chuckle)
What? You didn't see
"The Wizard of Oz"?
There's, there's no
place like a dirty ship.
There's no place
like a dirty ship.
- You'll have to excuse us, we
don't get up here that often.
- Well you should go back to
your engine room, it's safer.
- There's an infection.
- Hey, how do you know that
we work in the engine room.
See, I told you we were
getting a reputation.
I'll have you know that
we look great in a tuxedo,
and you should see how
we score with the ladies.
A cha cha cha.
What? I'm not gonna let
those guys insult us.
Especially that one.
Hey, you!
You know what?
Your goatee sucks!
- What?
(Sarra screaming)
- We need to go,
and you need to go.
- You don't have to tell
me twice, I ain't no dummy.
- I like my goatee.
- As well you should.
- I get compliments
all the time.
- You're singing to the choir.
- Now you're just
being sarcastic.
- Sarcasms is just one of
my many services, Dell.
(vampires blipping)
(foreboding music)
- Max!
(eerie music)
(vampires blipping)
- Sarra!
(lights buzzing)
- So tell me.
Tell me about your life, Max.
I wanna know all about you.
Your dreams, my desires.
And I want you to know about me.
I'm not just a pretty face, Max.
I'm pretty on the inside too.
(solemn music)
I'm giving you a chance, Max.
Don't screw it up.
- Max!
- I need to find her!
- Remember, me mateys,
believe in yourself.
You are braver than you think,
more talented than you
know, and capable of more,
so much more, more, more.
(chuckles nervously)
(foreboding music)
(Bob screaming)
(suspenseful music)
(curious music)
(tense music)
(vampire hissing)
(Bob screaming)
(flashlight thuds)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire screeching)
(Bob screaming)
(suspenseful music)
(Bob whimpering)
(vampire growling)
(lights buzzing)
(blow thuds)
(tense music)
(vampire gurgling)
There'll be no more shenanigans
for you on this ship,
matey. (chuckles nervously)
- Don't go that way, there's a
real big, bad one down there.
- Are you alone?
- Not when I've got this baby.
- Is there a female down there?
A red head?
- Yeah, here's a female.
Don't say I didn't warn y'all.
- What are you doing?
What if we get caught?
- By who?
There's no one on
this hunk of metal.
Why you think they didn't
come to find us for our shift?
- I know, it's kind
of change, right?
- It's 'cause they don't
know what they're doing.
And that's good for us.
Pay and play, baby.
(distant thud)
- What was that?
- Ghosts.
(girl with beanie chuckles)
(foreboding music)
- No, I think there's
someone there.
- We're alone. Stop
being paranoid.
We're just getting high.
(girl with beanie gasps)
(lighter clanking)
(girl with beanie giggling)
What? You're closer.
- Ugh. God, this
floor is filthy.
(lights buzzing)
(vampires blipping)
- Pita?
Pita!
(tense music)
(girl screaming)
- [Dell] My mom
called the other day.
She asked how you were.
She likes you, I don't know why.
- I like her too.
- [Dell] She thinks
you're a good guy.
- We're all good and bad, Dell.
Even you.
- Max!
(tense music)
- What are you doing over there?
- I thought I heard something.
(Pita screaming frantically)
Wait, come back!
Did you see her? What was that?
What is she running from?
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
(vampires hissing)
(fist thuds)
(blood squelching)
(vampire grunts)
(Dell groaning)
(Dell thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(Max grunting)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire screeching)
(flesh crunching)
(vampire hissing)
(solemn music)
- Why don't you come
up and see me sometime?
- [Doctor] Oh, don't
tell me you're scared
of a little needle.
- [Max] Scared enough
to rip your arm off
if you come near
me with that thing.
- [Doctor] Here we go.
(Dell shrieks)
(lights buzzing)
- [Dell] You okay, Max?
- Yeah.
- There you go.
(air whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- Let's play ball.
- Oh, me, I'm late.
I'm late, I'm late for
an very important date.
There's no time to
say hello and goodbye,
I'm late, I'm late, I'm. (gasps)
Hello?
What, you?
You must work in the
engine room? (growls)
Yeah, I overslept
through my watch,
and now I'm, I.
Oh, I get it!
You must be with that new group
we're supposed to
keep an eye on.
I have to tell you,
you're not the friendliest
blokes we've ever had on board.
You're not gluten free, are ya?
Because, I read, if you
don't get enough gluten,
you lose your
communication skills.
Just saying.
No offense. No offense.
I meant no...
If it's agreeable with you,
I think I'm just gonna go
back the, uh, same way.
(lights buzzing)
Argh!
- [Dell] You don't look so good.
- [Max] You've known me a
long time; was I ever sick?
- [Dell] You mean
physically or mentally?
- [Max] Sick. Like the flu?
- Well, I don't know where
you're going with this,
but I'll play.
Sick? Let me see.
No, can't see I remember
you ever being sick.
Wait!
What about that time when you
were away for a few months?
- That wasn't physical, Dell.
The worst time was at night.
I could hear the other
inmates crying, screaming.
They finally settled on electric
shock treatments for me.
I think I scream
louder than anyone.
- Max. I'm sorry.
- Let's just say, if I
have to do electrical work
on the house, I don't have
to turn off the power.
(Dell chuckles)
(Sarra screaming)
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
- There's an infection!
Go back to the engine room.
And don't try to scare anyone.
- Now how did they know that?
Huh?
(foreboding music)
(tense music)
(vampires hissing)
(vampires growling)
- Stake her, Dell!
- I'm trying!
- Stake her! Stake her!
(vampire yelling)
(knife thudding)
(vampire laughing)
- Dell, stab her
heart, not body.
Do it!
(knife thuds)
(vampire gargles)
(vampire thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(concerned music)
- Sorry, (chuckles) my
aim was meant to be true.
Their weakness, it's the heart.
How did you know?
- Lucky guess.
Make sure we don't
get separated, Dell.
- [Dell] I didn't know
you cared so much.
(lights buzzing)
Now who's that?
- They call me Mr. Witz.
- Who?
- What, are we rat hunting?
- There's an infection.
- And you are disease control?
- Stay in your
cabin. Lock the door.
- You know it costs absolutely
nothing to be civil.
That is so lacking
in today's society.
- Stay in your
cabin, pretty please?
- Well, if you put it that way.
- [Dell] My mom called
a couple days ago.
She asked how you were.
- Did you tell
her I met someone?
- Well, I hate to
break it to you, Max,
but Sarra's, Sarra's not
gonna be like she was.
She's, she's not like us now.
And don't shoot the messenger.
- I remember my first dog.
She was my best
friend, my only friend.
And when she started limping,
my uncle had her put down.
It was probably only a sprain.
- Well, Sarra's not a pet.
- And I'm not my uncle.
- Ugh!
Ah!
Ugh!
A horse.
A horse, a kingdom for a horse.
(solemn music)
(lights buzzing)
It's you again.
Didn't get enough of
me last time, did ya?
Come on and get me then.
Come on and get me!
There you go and freeze.
What's the matter,
cat got your tongue?
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(vampires hissing)
(man screaming)
(blows thudding)
- This will never work.
- O ye of little faith.
This will work.
Let's do this.
- How do you even know
they like raw meat?
- I saw the massacre
in the cafeteria.
Trust me, they like meat,
and they like it raw.
- How much do you think
we can get for a live one?
- The sky's the limit.
If that doc won't pay, maybe
we can sell it to the circus.
- I like the elephants.
And the trapeze girls.
They're always so pretty.
- Shh.
When that chain moves, we
jerk it with all our might.
And then we hook that sucker.
(tense music)
- Hey, where did you
guys find the meat?
- The frozen storage locker.
- And it's not infected?
- Nope.
("Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy")
- Hey, wanna join us for dinner?
- Sure.
- Love to.
- Oh yeah.
- Tell me again, Dell.
Dell?
- Max.
- What part of
don't get separated
do you know not understand?
- I thought I heard something.
- Get outta there, Dell.
(Pita screaming frantically)
(suspenseful music)
- Wait, come back!
(foreboding music)
- Run!
(lights buzzing)
(fist thud)
(blood squelches)
(vampire grunts)
(Dell thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(tense music)
(lights buzzing)
(solemn music)
(lights buzzing)
(knife thuds)
(vampire hissing)
(vampire thuds)
(tense music)
(Sarra hissing)
(blood squelches)
- [Max] Have I ever been sick?
(curious music)
- Of course you have.
All my boys get
sick now and then.
- [Max] When?
When was I sick?
- What are you going on about?
- [Max] When?
- Max, I'm your mother,
of course I know if
you been sick or not.
- [Max] When?
- Ugh. Now don't be silly.
Everyone gets sick.
(solemn music)
Everyone gets ill, Max.
Everyone except you.
- Max!
Max!
Get up and fight, Max!
(Max moans)
(Dell shrieks)
- Let me at 'em.
(vampire hissing)
(lights buzzing)
(fist thuds)
(Dell gags)
(Sarra growls)
(blood squelches)
(suspenseful music)
- Bite me.
(dummy barks)
(Dell shrieks)
(dummy laughing)
(lights buzzing)
- Stake this.
(hand slaps)
Love bites.
- Happy hunting.
- Let's burn this mother down.
(lights buzzing)
Somebody's gonna die tonight.
I'm feelin' a little batty.
This ain't hopscotch, Pablo.
I hate this boat.
- [Dell] Ship.
- Whatever.
(tense music)
Maybe we're here
for a reason, Dell.
- I know I am.
I'm most wanted wherever I am.
In great demand am I.
You're not going all
spiritual on me, are ya?
- What would you do if you
knew you were about to die?
- We're not gonna die, Max.
- What would you do?
- Well, (sighs) I'd
like my mom to know.
She worries about
me all the time,
and I'd want her to know that
she didn't have
to worry anymore.
About me, I mean.
I'd want that for her.
(Sarra screaming)
That sounds a little like Sarra.
- I'll be back.
- What? You need me, Max.
- Make sure that room
is ready for Sarra.
- Oh, who's gonna
have your back.
- You always have and
you always will, Dell.
(suspenseful music)
- Max said he's coming
back with Sarra.
- (chuckles) And just how's
he planning to do that?
- He didn't say, but he wants
you to have this room ready.
- I see.
You know, there's something
odd about your friend there.
His blood is very unique.
Very, very unique.
I think he needs to prepare
for a profuse amount
of testing when he gets back.
- You're dreamin', doc.
He just wants to get
his girlfriend back.
- Ah, true love, is it?
Well, I think your friend Max
is flying a bit too
close to the sun.
And if he's not
extremely careful, he's
going to get burned.
Badly burned.
- Well, what's this
thing want with Sarra?
- Well, I finally confirmed
my initial thought.
The oldest known rule in
the universe: propagation.
- (chuckles) Now you're
just being disgusting, doc.
- Well, be that as it may,
I do wish Max every success
in bringing Sarra back here.
But I fear-
- It's too late for her?
- She's infected.
Max is chasing an
illusion of what once was.
He's hoping that
she's still the same.
- Maybe.
But sometimes, doc, sometimes
all you have is hope.
(solemn music)
(vampire blipping)
(lights buzzing)
(lights buzzing)
(lights buzzing)
(tense music)
(foreboding music)
- Argh!
Ugh!
(vampire groaning)
(air whooshing)
(Max blows)
(fingers tapping)
- I don't see how that
is being productive.
- Yours is not to wonder why.
I'm going to the head.
- I'll log it into our books.
- By the way, I think your
dead rat is breathing.
(rat squeaking)
(curious music)
(solemn music)
(suspenseful music)
(Bob screaming)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire hissing)
(Bob whimpering)
(vampire screeching)
(lights buzzing)
(vampire gurgling)
- Head this ship home, captain.
- You don't have
to tell an old salt
like me more than once, matey.
(water splashing)
(solemn music)
- No sign yet.
(rat squeaking)
Looks like your
fountain of youth
will have to wait
a bit longer, doc.
(solemn music)
(door latches clanking)
(curious music)
(people laughing)
(tense music)
(curious music)
(all laughing)
- Hey, do you know why
Bach had so many kids?
- Huh-uh.
- He didn't have any
stops on his organs.
(all laughing)
(foreboding music)
(vampire blipping)
(ethereal music)
- (hand slams) Come on!
(hand slams) Come on!
(hand slams) Come on!
(hand slams) Come on!
(lights buzzing)
(vampire blipping)
(foreboding music)
(lights buzzing)
(suspenseful music)
(lights buzzing)
(blow thuds)
(vampire thuds)
(air whooshing)
(vampire laughing)
(air whooshing)
(vampire laughing)
(hammer knocking)
(vampire laughing)
(steam hissing)
(vampire screaming)
(exalted music)
(suspenseful music)
(vampire screaming)
Steak time!
(flesh squelches)
(exalted music)
(vampire groans)
(solemn music)
(flesh squelches)
(door latches clanking)
(tense music)
(water splashing)
Sweet dreams, doc.
(somber music)
(chair rattling)
- I can't believe you
caught her with a net.
You really think
this is gonna work?
- I don't know, but I can't
live without her, Dell.
- I don't know, Max.
(gentle music)
(chair rattling)
(Sarra moaning)
(Sarra growling)
(Sarra moaning)
(dramatic music)
(thunder rumbling)
- [Sarra] You
still love me, Max?
(thunder rumbling)
Max!
Stop biting me.
(gentle music)
(people playing)
(people chattering)
You don't look so good.
- I feel great.
- Do you still believe
in love at for sight?
- More than ever.
- So now I'm all yours, Max.
I'm all yours.
(gentle bright music)
(soft music)
(foreboding music)
(tense music)
- Looks like you're in
the wrong town, stranger.
- Funny, I was gonna say
the same thing about you.
(cowboy spitting)
- Maybe it ain't hearin' me?
- Oh, I heard you.
I just don't care.
- But there's three of us.
(tense music)
- You kicked the wrong dog.
(gun snapping)
(guns firing)
Giddy up.
(gun fires)
(tense music)
(body thuds)
(man blows)
Yee-haw.
(gentle music)
(moves to upbeat music)
I like that hat.
(gun fires)
(man screams)
The problem you have is that
the devil lives in my gun.
(gun fires)
(man screams)
Don't get comfortable, amigo,
you're not gonna
be here that long.
(gun fires)
(man screaming)
(speaking in foreign language)
(gun fires)
(man screaming)
(gentle music)
(tense music)
(vampire screeching)
(electricity buzzing)
(upbeat rock music)
The devil held me
down for a while
He broke my back
and cramped my style
I fought long, I fought hard
But not hard
enough to get away
Nobody ever gets away
From the bottom I looked up
I said, "The devil,
you ain't so tough"
You look hot, you look mean
But not mean enough
to make me stay
No way I'm gonna stay
No
Heard him say
You better run from
the devil on your own
Nobody out in hell is
gonna bring you home
Not even tortured souls
or the screamin' bone
It's the sound of the
hounds of rock and roll
We'll rock and roll
Going dark
I'm outta time
I was just about
to lose my mind
It's when a cobra came to me
It said it's time to
set you free today
I'm finally gonna get away
And then the devil said
You cannot run from
the devil on your own
Nobody out in hell is
gonna bring you home
No even tortured souls
or the screamin' bone
This is the sound of the
hounds of rock and roll
Yeah, rock and roll
Yeah yeah
Wow