Vera Cruz (1954) Movie Script
Howdy.
You an American?
You interested in me or the horses?
Would one of 'em be for sale?
- One would.
- Which one?
Guess.
- How much?
- $100.
Gold.
- That's mighty hard.
- So's walkin'.
His leg was broke.
A three-legged horse'd
bring a price down here.
- He was sufferin'.
- Soft spot, huh?
Only for horses.
Next time you draw near me,
say what you're aimin' at.
If I have the time, I will.
- Government troops! Gonna run or fight?
- I got no quarrel with them.
Fancy shootin' for a man with no quarrel.
- That featherhead tried to kill me!
- Why not? That's his horse you're ridin'.
Back in Louisiana, we hang horse thieves!
Howdy.
Howdy.
I said howdy.
What gets into Americans down here?
He's got Joe's horse.
Friend, if you got Joe Erin,
you rode the wrong way.
Shoulda headed for the States
and claimed the reward.
All I got was his horse.
You're a liar!
You see, nobody could steal
Joe Erin's horse unless he killed him.
Nobody'd kill Joe
'less they shot him in the back.
Turn around, mister.
I didn't kill him.
Give the gent a hand first, boys.
A pleasure.
My old man always said
the bottle could ruin a man.
Joe! You ain't dead!
That's what the man said.
We didn't know he was your friend.
I got no friends, Donnegan, not even you.
Follow him, boys. We're leavin' anyway.
Louisiana, huh?
- Mint julep, Colonel?
- Colonel?
- All you Southerners are colonels.
- Not any more.
Civil War cost me everything but my shirt.
- Travelling alone?
- Depends.
How come you stopped the fun?
You got a soft spot for an innocent man?
No such thing as an innocent man.
- You aimin' to fight in this civil war here?
- If it pays.
I figure a whole passel of guns'll
pay better than a lone hand.
Howdy.
Howdy.
About my horse...
Your horse? You found another fast one
to get you here in time to save my neck.
Meanin'?
I'll give you back your saddle.
Colonel,
I just don't see how the South lost.
Hear tell some boys
from the States is here.
Trouble draws 'em like hogs to swill!
The boys is here, all right!
Let me go!
Little Bit,
you gonna put your brand on her?
Ride her, cowboy!
Hooray for the papaya lady!
All right, Papayas. I'll take you.
Slow down, Little Bit.
Man's just tryin' to keep you alive.
- Easy, friend, easy. That's Ben Trane.
- That supposed to mean somethin'?
He stole Joe Erin's horse and lived to tell.
Thank you, seor.
Thought your soft spot
was only for horses.
Boys, there's a war goin' on down here.
Be a shame if fine men like us
weren't on the same side.
Anybody wanna ride along with me?
We're doin' just fine on our own.
We're here to dicker with General
Ramirez, big chief of the rebels.
- How much does he pay?
- I figure that's 'tween me and him.
Kind of exclusive, ain't you, Charlie?
Gentlemen,
permit me to welcome you to Mexico.
- You the mayor?
- I'm the Marquis de Labordere.
Aide to His Imperial Majesty Maximilian,
Emperor of Mexico.
You are Monsieur Joe Erin?
- You know me?
- Indeed. The American police account
of your exploits was so inspiring
I was compelled to seek you out.
Hear that, Ben?
I offer you a commission
in the service of His Majesty.
You and your men could be
of profitable service to the emperor.
- How profitable?
- Yeah. That's what I wanna know.
His Majesty is extremely generous.
How many men have you?
- 17.
- Add pretty fast, don't you, Joe?
Anything wrong with the count?
Yeah.
You're dickering with the wrong feller.
Those eight men are mine.
Those seven are his.
If we come in... I run the show.
I string with Charlie.
Anybody else string with Charlie?
Bravo! It is an honour
to know you, Monsieur Erin.
The honour is mine, Your Excellency.
- Who's he?
- A Juarista... a rebel.
A soldier in the army
of Benito Jurez, seor.
- I am General Ramirez.
- General?
- What's your proposition, General?
- We would like you to join us.
You'd be wasting your talents. These
peasants have no money to pay you.
As Americans, you can appreciate
our fight for independence.
We offer you more than money, seor.
We offer a cause.
How 'bout that, Ben? This here's
our cause expert. Fought for the South.
A brave struggle, seor.
My congratulations.
What for? We lost.
You were sayin'...
the emperor was extremely generous.
I am sorry, seor.
His Excellency is now our prisoner.
- What'd you say?
- The marquis is our prisoner.
So are the rest of you.
Each one of you is a target for 20 of us.
At this range,
even our ancient weapons are effective.
- If it's that easy, what's stoppin' you?
- We're not savages, seor.
We do not kill in cold blood.
But we cannot permit you
to serve with Maximilian.
If you do not surrender
before Pedro finishes his song...
Better make it a long one, Pedro,
cos you ain't ever gonna play another!
Hold it!
Get those children outta here.
Yeah, sure... Always did like kids.
How about you, General?
Certainly.
Donnegan! Pittsburgh!
Get those kids inside.
Come on, kids.
Hurry up! Pronto!
All right, Joe!
The two inside will not stop us.
Nor will 200.
No, but they can stop a lot of kids
from growin' up, amigo.
- Donnegan!
- Just say the word, Joe!
You want those kids to live,
get your men up that hill.
We'll leave then, not before.
Wars are not won by killing children.
Hasta la vista, seores.
I give you my word we will meet again.
Donnegan! Pittsburgh!
Turn the kids loose.
Fascinating man, your friend...
and a brilliant bluff about those children.
Or was it a bluff?
They're still alive, aren't they?
- Where's this palace of Max's?
- Mexico City. We'll be there by nightfall.
Let's ride.
If this blue coat don't rile you,
Mr Trane, I'd like to ride along.
Can you think of a better man?
He won the war, didn't he?
- Suit yourself.
- The man's crazy about you.
Move along.
- My wallet!
- To you, seor, it is free.
It is useless to look for it now. In Mexico,
a thief disappears like a puff of smoke.
It's only cowhide, Ben.
Max'll buy you another.
It wasn't the wallet,
it's the sentiment. I had $12 in it!
- Old Max sure knows how to live.
- The fanciest lodge hall I ever seen!
- Hey, come on down here!
- What's at this end?
Aren't you going to join us, monsieur?
- The emperor built quite a palace.
- You know its history?
We had books in the South...
And one or two homes that once
might have stood beside all this.
Once?
There's nothin' ever destroyed
that can't be rebuilt.
Perhaps... if a man
wants to badly enough.
I didn't come down here for the ride.
Aw, come one, take just
a little bite! Come on!
- What do you suppose is wrong with her?
- Try approaching 'em downwind.
Oh, gentlemen.
May I present Captain Danette?
Monsieur Erin, Monsieur Trane.
You'll find something in common
with this gentleman.
As a soldier, he fought with
the American Confederate Army.
Then I feel we'll have little in common.
You see, I've never fought
with a losing side.
That's cos you ain't ever fought him!
He has you there, Captain, I assure you.
Excuse me. The captain will
take care of your needs from now on.
Tell Max we're waitin'!
Your acquaintance with
etiquette amazes me, monsieur.
I had no idea you knew
which hand to use.
When I was no higher than
a hound dog's tail on point,
I had a little tin soldier, about so high.
And one day I lost him... and I cried.
My mother said "Stop bawlin'. Someday
that soldier's bound to show up."
And she was right.
You're back.
Joe! Over there!
Careful, monsieur. Some of the wine
is getting in your mouth.
Hello...
Hello!
Marie. You're looking
your loveliest this evening.
Thank you, Henri.
Mon cher Henri,
it's so nice to have you safely back.
The palace seemed empty without you.
Obviously your trip was successful.
Successful but... distasteful.
May I introduce Monsieur Erin, Monsieur
Trane? The Comtesse Marie Duvarre.
Enchante.
No wonder you was in
such a fire to get here.
Tous les Amricains, ils sont trs beaux.
- You are being complimented.
- Merci. Vous seriez belle n'importe o.
Monsieur, your French
is as pretty as your flattery.
In New Orleans,
we learn how to handle both.
Dirty son of a...
His Majesty the emperor.
Excuse me, gentlemen, please.
- Your Majesty.
- Henri.
They're a disreputable-looking band.
Do they know the nature of their mission?
Only that they will be
handsomely rewarded.
Do you consider death
a handsome enough reward for them?
If not from the guns of the Juaristas,
perhaps from the steel
of Your Majesty's lancers.
You may present me
to the courageous little group.
Your Majesty, allow me to...
I implore your indulgence.
They are not familiar with court protocol.
It is gratifying that you men
are so sympathetic with our position
- that you offer your services to us.
- Let's get one thing clear, Your Majesty.
Our services come high.
I hope the emperor is more interested
in fire power than protocol.
Precisely. Our primary concern is getting
a coach through Juarista country
- to the port at Vera Cruz.
- May I humbly remind Your Majesty
that my lancers will also take part.
Quiet. You failed before.
I beg your indulgence, sire.
But why should these men do any better?
Pittsburgh.
- This is why.
- Indeed.
May I? I am something of a marksman.
Ah, yes...
the new Winchester repeating rifle.
I hear it fires faster than the double-action
pistol, and as far as the eye can see.
Mister, it does everything
but shoot around corners.
Most amusing.
But, of course, a weapon is only
as good as the man who uses it.
Monsieur!
Hold on to your hat, Max. And don't
worry about the women and children.
Fantastique!
Magnifique!
Three torches left.
A pity your gun is empty.
It's not.
Your Majesty said he was a marksman.
Allow me, sire.
Thank you, monsieur.
Bravo! Bravo!
All the way forward...
All the way back.
Bravo!
Bravo!
Perhaps I better stop.
We have a servant problem as it is.
I assure Your Majesty I shall be
perfectly safe with these gentlemen.
Well, then, I suppose I must approve.
You see, it is the countess
who will occupy the coach.
She's decided that she must see Paris
again, and we indulge her every whim.
The marquis wants her to reach
the ship at Vera Cruz safely.
She will if the price is right.
I suppose when one deals with men
of action, one must expect action.
Does 25,000 in gold sound reasonable?
A pretty figure... but only half as pretty
as the figure we're escorting to Vera Cruz.
I gather that double would increase
your sense of responsibility?
It would double it.
I'll be a dirty...
The water is about to come in!
Joe's pretty fast on the draw!
I'd prefer he restricted
his speed to his gun!
Funny country, isn't it? A carriage cuts
deeper tracks than an overloaded wagon.
Yeah, funny country, all right.
A very large convoy
to protect one woman.
It will take two days
to get men for an attack.
- Get them!
- Yes, sir.
But in the meantime a few
will have to do the work of many.
- You are welcome, seor.
- We need food and drink for 70 people.
Your best - you understand?
But, seor, our provisions are scarce,
and the emperor does not pay.
We dine in an hour.
They have a very passable wine here -
vintage of '59. We'll stay the night.
Easy to defend, too.
My dear, you are unusually
gallant this evening.
- As gallant as the two Americans?
- You surprise me, Henri.
You should know there is never
anything to fear from two men.
Your French is as pretty
as your flattery, mon-sewer.
Ma'am, I learned my French
in old New Orleans.
Oh! You wanna play, huh?
Voulez-vous get off my toe?!
Aw, Tex! I told you to be careful!
You Americans are so gallant!
Come on, Countessy. Let's go!
Come on, Joe. Give it back.
Sure.
A little careless with
your hardware, ain't ya?
- Look out behind you, Joe!
- Ah, come on, Little Bit.
You can do better than that.
Careful, Joe.
It's cocked.
Well, what do you know?
So it is. Catch it, Little Bit!
You boys ain't gonna let
a little gunshot spoil the party?
Ballad, show us really how to dance.
Give us a hoedown, Pittsburgh!
Anything you say, Mr Erin.
- Hello...
- Hello!
How much d'you think is there?
Just enough.
For two?
Good evening.
Each one of those six boxes contains
half a million dollars in gold.
- Three million!
- Sure has a nice ring to it.
You plannin' to visit Paris or buy it?
This is the money to bring troops from
Europe to keep Maximilian on the throne.
But I can think of many uses for it
more civilised than war.
- Ma'am, you're just full of surprises.
- Then let me add another.
- One million's enough for me.
- It ain't for me.
I'm a pig.
Be a shame not to keep it all in one piece.
Perhaps. But neither of you
can get out of the country alone.
If the Juaristas captured it,
they could win.
- They ain't gonna capture it.
- You don't know the Juaristas.
They are suspicious already. Even
Maximilian needed me for camouflage.
How come he made
the mistake of pickin' you?
The emperor is very fond of the marquis,
so I made sure
the marquis became fond of me.
Looks like you been thinkin'
about this for a long time.
I have.
There will be a sea captain
to meet me in Las Palmas.
He has a fast ship
up the coast from Vera Cruz.
The marquis know about that?
Unfortunately, as I have
discovered to my embarrassment,
Henri is loyal to his emperor.
But I dare say he would be willing to...
die for Maximilian.
- How do we know we can trust you?
- How do I know I can trust you?
Countess,
you're beginnin' to talk my language.
- And yours?
- Should be an interesting trip!
I wish you'd stop drawin' around me!
Now, gentlemen.
It's a long way to Vera Cruz.
You see that?
You must have had a restful night
to find the morning so amusing.
It's the countess. She's quite a woman!
Indeed. She's worth her weight in gold.
Now.
Now.
Out of the way, peasants!
Not yet!
Joe!
The carriage!
The carriage!
Forward!
Hey! You saved my bacon back there!
Sorry I was so slow gettin' to ya.
You'd have been a little slower,
you'd have stood to be richer.
- Maybe I didn't think of that.
- Too bad you never knew Ace Hanna.
Ran a gamblin' joint back in Laredo.
Shot my old man in a stud game
when I was still a kid.
- Ace felt so bad, he give me a home.
- What's it got to do with my savin' you?
Ace said "Don't take
any chances you don't have to."
"Don't trust anybody you don't have to.
Don't do no favours you don't have to do."
Ace lived long enough to know he was
right. He lived 30 seconds after I shot him.
You know somethin'? That's the first time
I ever told anybody the story of my life.
Thanks.
Halt the caravan! Count the casualties!
- Well, if it isn't Papayas!
- Why don't you let a real man try it?
You'll never catch her, Pittsburgh!
What's the matter?
Ain't you gonna scream?
I like 'em when they scream. Maybe you
can bring Ben Trane to the rescue again.
- Ain't that right, Donnegan?
- Right.
Hold it!
- Where did she come from?
- She's here of her own free will.
- I'll believe that when you let her go.
- You was a man, you'd get off that horse.
I'll get off when you turn her loose.
Shoot him as he's gettin' off.
We're waitin'!
You boys had enough fightin' for the day?
You heard the man.
Tex, get aboard that wagon.
Well... that old Southern charm.
Draws 'em like bees to honey, eh, Ben?
She snaked that wagon outta there
just like a mule skinner.
- Mount up, Ballad.
- I just wanted to get to Vera Cruz.
Just for the ride to Vera Cruz?
You did a favour for me once.
Is it too much to expect another?
That was a nice new dress you're wearin'.
You wouldn't turn her down, would ya?
It'd break her heart.
Captain Danette informed me of your
heroics. My compliments, mademoiselle.
We want an explanation
of your presence here.
Ain't you heard?
We just picked up a passenger.
Such decisions are up to the marquis.
Well?
I wish you a pleasant journey to Vera
Cruz. It's time we were starting again.
Mount the caravan!
- Thank you, seor.
- Forward!
Kinda cosy, ain't it, Ben?
Now we both got girls.
You just can't do
enough for me, can you?
Why not? You're the first friend I ever had.
- That's the fifth one we've seen today.
- Sixth. I bet these hills are full of 'em.
It's a cinch
they ain't gonna wait much longer.
Hey, you! Wake up!
Keep your eyes on the road!
Your concern for the safety of the
carriage is most gratifying, monsieur.
Protecting the countess
is what I'm here for.
Is that all? I like to think
you're here to protect the wagons,
the supplies, the horses...
to say nothing of myself.
That marquis has too many teeth
in that crocodile smile. I don't like it.
Then don't make so much fuss
over this carriage... or me.
We get to Las Palmas, if that ship captain
ain't there, you'll really see a fuss.
- I see we have a prisoner.
- And three missing lancers.
Not a very good swap.
Run! Run, you fool!
Why don't they try throwin' rocks?
You wouldn't want to see
the game end too soon, monsieur.
Long live Jurez!
- Pleasant trip?
- It is not pleasant to see a man killed.
- Even a Juarista.
- Even a Juarista?
That's strange coming from a Mexican.
It is hard to be a patriot
on an empty stomach.
What if Ramirez and the Juaristas win?
Things might be different.
How can they win without money?
Without guns?
You saw General Ramirez,
and you chose Maximilian.
Why should I be different?
You are different.
Most girls don't steal wallets.
Where is it?
If you believe that, seor,
why did you let me come with you?
- Hand it over.
- Have you looked for it lately?
Of course, it is empty.
$12!
Picking pockets is a habit hard to break.
Why are you so anxious
to get to Vera Cruz?
For me, it is not wise
to stay too long in one place.
And in Vera Cruz there are
many people... and many pockets.
And many dresses.
They say that a thief in Mexico today
can disappear like a puff of smoke.
- Is that true?
- You can see smoke disappear.
Suppose I wanted to get to
Vera Cruz alone... Could I do it?
It's possible, seor.
But why?
A man named Ace Hanna used to say:
"It never hurts to have an ace in the hole."
We would go together?
You never can tell.
I'm just liable to get that filled for ya.
- Henri?
- Yes?
I should like to stop here.
Las Palmas is famous for its fiestas.
Of course. And you must be tired.
Continue with your dancing!
I enjoy seeing our people happy.
- We halt here.
- But we could push on to the next town.
This will make it difficult
to reach Vera Cruz tomorrow.
It is the countess's wish.
I do not intend to disappoint her.
I will see the mayor provides us
with food and quarters.
Food only. Quarters will not be necessary.
You see, it is here that
the countess intends to betray us.
Halt the caravan.
I'll take this.
Of course. Anything you say, monsieur.
- Gettin' very polite, isn't he?
- Yeah.
- That ship captain here?
- In front of the cantina.
The man with the whiskers.
- He will come to me later.
- Why not now?
We must be careful
not to arouse the marquis' suspicion.
You see, he may not trust us
as much as we trust each other.
He been to see her yet?
Not yet. He don't make a move soon,
I'm gonna work on him myself.
Easy. Wait till he's had a chance
to tell the countess where the ship is.
- You ain't a fool enough to trust her?
- No.
But she can't make a move,
not without us.
Tell me somethin'. How come you let
a little thing like the Civil War bust ya?
I made the mistake of fightin'
the last battle on my own property.
Well, don't you worry. After this you can
build her up again, outta solid marble.
I guess you don't know much
about a plantation, do ya?
It's not just a house.
It's land... a lot of people.
And right now they're in a pretty bad fix.
They're sorta dependin' on you
to get 'em started again, Colonel?
I guess that old soft spot
ain't only for horses, huh?
You keep an eye on that captain.
I'll watch the gold.
All right, you boys.
Let's just keep right on playin'.
I never played with no real band before.
Vous avez une allumette, monsieur?
- Seor, you startled me!
- How did you get in there?
I told them the countess
had sent me for a dress.
- It's a good thing I'm not the countess.
- Don't tell her.
I wanted to wear it at the fiesta.
- But she's sure to be there.
- But by then I will have it on.
- It will be worth it, seor.
- When she sees you with that dre...
I thought you were
keepin' an eye on that captain.
He just went in to see her. I'll give him
some time. Everything all right here?
Quiet as a churchyard,
if you don't count that fandango.
Sounds kinda nice, doesn't it?
Must be hard for a man to keep his mind
on his job when music like that gets goin'.
Guess it is, if you think about it.
- Anybody pokin' around?
- Not a soul.
If they had, you'd have shot 'em.
Wouldn't you?
All right, Joe. You saw her.
I'd have stopped her on her tracks... dead.
For stealin' a dress?
You and Ace Hanna wouldn't
have lasted long as partners.
I don't figure Ace
would have had much choice.
By joining the ship in this cove here,
you won't have to worry
about the garrison at Vera Cruz.
- I shall be there by sundown tomorrow.
- You and all these Americans?
Only two.
The others will be lost along the way.
- The longboat will be on the beach.
- But one thing must be understood:
When I come aboard with the gold,
I come alone.
- But the two Americans?
- I repeat: I come aboard alone.
Very good. I have a well-trained
and well-armed crew.
- Shall I leave this, or can you remember?
- I can remember.
- Who is it?
- Open up!
Joseph! I was just going to send for you.
Joseph!
This is Capitaine Lecroix. Monsieur Erin -
the gentleman I mentioned.
A pleasure, monsieur.
- Until tomorrow, then.
- Of course.
What's your hurry?
But, Joseph, everything's arranged.
He has a long journey.
You wouldn't want to delay him.
To Paris!
- You forget who I am.
- I don't forget a thing.
- He looked at me like I was a dead man!
- Ridiculous!
I've seen that look
too many times not to know it.
- If you trust me so little...
- I don't trust you at all.
All you want is that gold.
You won't get it without me.
I'm takin' over that boat
before you ever set foot aboard her.
That's why you'll take anything
I hand out and learn to like it.
See? Because you and me is the same.
Sale brute! I should have made
my deal with Monsieur Trane.
Old Ben Trane...
He's quite a feller.
Aide to General Beauregard.
Whipped his weight in Yankees.
And a gentleman.
A real Southern gentleman!
Colonel Ben Trane, ma'am,
at your service.
I don't trust him. He likes people and
you can never count on a man like that.
Do you mean... it would be
just the two of us, Joseph?
I was wonderin'
if that captain could swim.
I've always wanted to sail my own boat.
But, Joseph,
you will have a million and a half
and I'll have a million and a half.
And... we will have each other.
But Monsieur Trane...
how will we slip away from him?
Funny... runnin' my fingers through
your hair, I feel it way down in my toes.
But, Joseph, we have so little time,
and Monsieur Trane knows our plans.
Part of our plan.
How much of your plans do I know?
Chrie...
You are wondering why
I should share anything with you.
But, chrie, you know where the boat is.
But afterward... we must be careful
one doesn't push the other overboard.
Ace Hanna'd be proud
of the way you think.
So am I.
Joseph,
you are born American,
but at heart you're French.
- Take it off.
- The countess has missed it?
Don't worry about that. Hurry.
I am hurrying. Do you want me to tear it?
There'll be no time for any fiesta tonight.
Look. Isn't it magnificent?
And feel. It is silk.
The first silk I ever wore.
I wanted you to see me in it, just once.
- Found the gold in there, didn't you?
- Gold?
The gold you've been looking for
since you joined this outfit.
- You can't believe that.
- You knew the carriage was guarded.
You wouldn't have sneaked in for a dress,
not if it was made of all the silk in China.
All right. You knew I was a thief.
Not only a thief - a Juarista.
How can you say that? I drove the wagon
out when the Juaristas attacked.
Sure - after the attack. Don't try to lie
to me. All you people are Juaristas.
Then why did you help me?
Because I need your help - now.
You're not like these other men,
these hired killers.
You know Maximilian
has no right to this gold.
That gold belongs to the man who gets it.
Joe Erin or me.
You like that dress.
How would you like a dozen of 'em?
A hundred, with hats and shoes
and parasols to match?
How can you even say this?
Because that gold belongs
to both of us together.
You and I both know that no cause
is worth three million dollars.
Wait here!
- The horses!
- What's it about?
Round up the men and get the horses!
They got the carriage!
Hold it!
We'll get the carriage back,
but we'll get it back together.
Now cut this lead out!
- Why weren't you sittin' on that gold?
- What were you doin'?
Never mind that now. Cut that bullet out!
A pleasure!
- What's up?
- Don't pester him! The man's sufferin'.
Hold it!
We all wanna see what's in there.
It's kinda funny the way you two
been takin' care of this carriage lately.
And not sayin' nothin' to the rest of us.
You boys sobered up mighty fast.
A few gunshots'll do it
every time, Mr Trane.
If what we think is in there,
we'd just have to figure you two
was crossin' us, wouldn't we?
Now open it up!
Looks like the marquis beat us to it, Joe.
Nothin'!
Still a fool for luck, ain't ya, Joe?
Man, oh, man!
- Pittsburgh! The Winchesters!
- He'll never make it!
He gone crazy?
Wait a minute.
- You were right, General. We meet again.
- You are wise to surrender, seor.
Surrender? Hardly!
But why waste lives over nothing?
There's no gold there to fight over.
Pedro.
We've all been tricked.
I've an idea that gold is in a wagon,
headin' for the garrison at Vera Cruz.
You did not walk out here
just to tell me that.
I suggest we join forces and get it back.
No. That gold belongs to Mexico.
It cannot be shared with anyone.
We don't ask a share, only fair payment.
$100,000.
- A lot of money.
- A lot of us will die earning it.
Very well. Payment to be contingent
on the capture of the gold.
I take your word, seor.
And we will keep the bargain.
Sure gotta hand it to ya, Colonel.
Robert E Lee himself never
made a smarter manoeuvre.
For 100,000...
Maybe I should have doubled the ante.
Why worry about the ante
with three million still in the pot?
You know somethin'? You're gettin'
more like Ace Hanna every day.
From now on,
it's me and you right down the line.
Just like it's always been, Joe?
- You ain't sore, are ya?
- Now, what have I got to be sore about?
All right, Ben. I was a fool
to even think of crossin' ya.
How'd you figure it out so fast?
Old crocodile teeth
switchin' the gold to the wagon?
Old crocodile teeth and I had
the same idea... only he got to it faster.
Well, I'll be a dirty...
- You managed to precede me, Captain.
- My route was more direct, sir.
- And I had good reason for haste.
- No doubt. But the ruse was successful.
The emperor will be pleased.
Is the ship waiting?
Yes, sir.
The captain is sending an escort
to take you and the cargo aboard
- in time to leave with the morning tide.
- Good. Now...
I am sure you will enjoy
sending me to a dungeon, Henri.
Certainly not.
The countess has lived
a most comfortable life so far.
See that she enjoys the brief remainder.
Yes, sir.
This way, madame.
Gracias.
- They're more friendly than I expected.
- What do you mean, "friendly"?
They're playin' us for suckers. They figure
we're gonna get that gold back for 'em.
Hey, Ben... I didn't know
these yokels could write.
- What are they up to?
- They know it won't be any picnic.
Wanna be sure and get buried
under the right name.
It's a good idea.
You write my name, I write yours.
We'll fool Saint Peter yet!
- What luck?
- We went all the way around the fort.
- They are better prepared than last time.
- And our attack failed the last time.
Seores, I'm glad you're here.
How can we best use your Winchesters?
They're the nearest thing
to artillery you have.
Very well. You will cover us
with fire while we assault the gates.
Hey, General, that's a great idea!
We'll be right behind ya!
Hey, amigo, what you got there? Tequila?
Strange man, seor. The first like him I
ever met who could be happy with his lot.
Why is that strange? He stands
a chance to win a big prize tomorrow.
Money. Is that worth risking your life for?
Comes closer than anything I know.
A man's got to have more than that.
He needs something to believe in.
I got that too.
- You two have met before.
- A couple of times.
You are surprised to see me?
Why? I believe last night both of us knew
that gold belongs to Mexico.
Like bees to honey, eh, Ben?
Thanks.
Looks like we tied up
with the wrong outfit.
Give 'em some help. Aim for the windows!
On to the second position!
Let's go!
Nice shootin', Colonel!
They got a lotta guts.
If they get that gold, they'll have earned it!
You ain't thinkin' of keepin' that bargain?
I wouldn't give 'em the sweat off my brow!
Grenade!
Move it, men!
Joseph!
- Chrie! Where's the gold?
- The marquis! He's making a run for it!
Ben! The marquis!
- Ballad! Donnegan!
- Be right back.
Go!
Ballad! Snake that wagon outta here!
- Oh, chrie...
- Where's the boat?
Only a few miles. The next cove
up the coast... the north side.
Now we both know where it is. Don't we?
Joseph, you're taking me with you?
You and Ben Trane... you'll never learn.
So long, chrie!
- Hold it, Ballad! You got a passenger.
- We got it, Mr Erin!
Thanks.
Joe!
Looks like you meant
that Ace Hanna story after all.
Too bad you missed the point.
I'm takin' that wagon out.
That gold's goin' to the Juaristas.
Not if you give me a fair chance at a draw.
Just like you gave Ballad.
That old soft spot, eh, Ben?
Even Ace had one, Joe.
That was Ace's mistake.
You an American?
You interested in me or the horses?
Would one of 'em be for sale?
- One would.
- Which one?
Guess.
- How much?
- $100.
Gold.
- That's mighty hard.
- So's walkin'.
His leg was broke.
A three-legged horse'd
bring a price down here.
- He was sufferin'.
- Soft spot, huh?
Only for horses.
Next time you draw near me,
say what you're aimin' at.
If I have the time, I will.
- Government troops! Gonna run or fight?
- I got no quarrel with them.
Fancy shootin' for a man with no quarrel.
- That featherhead tried to kill me!
- Why not? That's his horse you're ridin'.
Back in Louisiana, we hang horse thieves!
Howdy.
Howdy.
I said howdy.
What gets into Americans down here?
He's got Joe's horse.
Friend, if you got Joe Erin,
you rode the wrong way.
Shoulda headed for the States
and claimed the reward.
All I got was his horse.
You're a liar!
You see, nobody could steal
Joe Erin's horse unless he killed him.
Nobody'd kill Joe
'less they shot him in the back.
Turn around, mister.
I didn't kill him.
Give the gent a hand first, boys.
A pleasure.
My old man always said
the bottle could ruin a man.
Joe! You ain't dead!
That's what the man said.
We didn't know he was your friend.
I got no friends, Donnegan, not even you.
Follow him, boys. We're leavin' anyway.
Louisiana, huh?
- Mint julep, Colonel?
- Colonel?
- All you Southerners are colonels.
- Not any more.
Civil War cost me everything but my shirt.
- Travelling alone?
- Depends.
How come you stopped the fun?
You got a soft spot for an innocent man?
No such thing as an innocent man.
- You aimin' to fight in this civil war here?
- If it pays.
I figure a whole passel of guns'll
pay better than a lone hand.
Howdy.
Howdy.
About my horse...
Your horse? You found another fast one
to get you here in time to save my neck.
Meanin'?
I'll give you back your saddle.
Colonel,
I just don't see how the South lost.
Hear tell some boys
from the States is here.
Trouble draws 'em like hogs to swill!
The boys is here, all right!
Let me go!
Little Bit,
you gonna put your brand on her?
Ride her, cowboy!
Hooray for the papaya lady!
All right, Papayas. I'll take you.
Slow down, Little Bit.
Man's just tryin' to keep you alive.
- Easy, friend, easy. That's Ben Trane.
- That supposed to mean somethin'?
He stole Joe Erin's horse and lived to tell.
Thank you, seor.
Thought your soft spot
was only for horses.
Boys, there's a war goin' on down here.
Be a shame if fine men like us
weren't on the same side.
Anybody wanna ride along with me?
We're doin' just fine on our own.
We're here to dicker with General
Ramirez, big chief of the rebels.
- How much does he pay?
- I figure that's 'tween me and him.
Kind of exclusive, ain't you, Charlie?
Gentlemen,
permit me to welcome you to Mexico.
- You the mayor?
- I'm the Marquis de Labordere.
Aide to His Imperial Majesty Maximilian,
Emperor of Mexico.
You are Monsieur Joe Erin?
- You know me?
- Indeed. The American police account
of your exploits was so inspiring
I was compelled to seek you out.
Hear that, Ben?
I offer you a commission
in the service of His Majesty.
You and your men could be
of profitable service to the emperor.
- How profitable?
- Yeah. That's what I wanna know.
His Majesty is extremely generous.
How many men have you?
- 17.
- Add pretty fast, don't you, Joe?
Anything wrong with the count?
Yeah.
You're dickering with the wrong feller.
Those eight men are mine.
Those seven are his.
If we come in... I run the show.
I string with Charlie.
Anybody else string with Charlie?
Bravo! It is an honour
to know you, Monsieur Erin.
The honour is mine, Your Excellency.
- Who's he?
- A Juarista... a rebel.
A soldier in the army
of Benito Jurez, seor.
- I am General Ramirez.
- General?
- What's your proposition, General?
- We would like you to join us.
You'd be wasting your talents. These
peasants have no money to pay you.
As Americans, you can appreciate
our fight for independence.
We offer you more than money, seor.
We offer a cause.
How 'bout that, Ben? This here's
our cause expert. Fought for the South.
A brave struggle, seor.
My congratulations.
What for? We lost.
You were sayin'...
the emperor was extremely generous.
I am sorry, seor.
His Excellency is now our prisoner.
- What'd you say?
- The marquis is our prisoner.
So are the rest of you.
Each one of you is a target for 20 of us.
At this range,
even our ancient weapons are effective.
- If it's that easy, what's stoppin' you?
- We're not savages, seor.
We do not kill in cold blood.
But we cannot permit you
to serve with Maximilian.
If you do not surrender
before Pedro finishes his song...
Better make it a long one, Pedro,
cos you ain't ever gonna play another!
Hold it!
Get those children outta here.
Yeah, sure... Always did like kids.
How about you, General?
Certainly.
Donnegan! Pittsburgh!
Get those kids inside.
Come on, kids.
Hurry up! Pronto!
All right, Joe!
The two inside will not stop us.
Nor will 200.
No, but they can stop a lot of kids
from growin' up, amigo.
- Donnegan!
- Just say the word, Joe!
You want those kids to live,
get your men up that hill.
We'll leave then, not before.
Wars are not won by killing children.
Hasta la vista, seores.
I give you my word we will meet again.
Donnegan! Pittsburgh!
Turn the kids loose.
Fascinating man, your friend...
and a brilliant bluff about those children.
Or was it a bluff?
They're still alive, aren't they?
- Where's this palace of Max's?
- Mexico City. We'll be there by nightfall.
Let's ride.
If this blue coat don't rile you,
Mr Trane, I'd like to ride along.
Can you think of a better man?
He won the war, didn't he?
- Suit yourself.
- The man's crazy about you.
Move along.
- My wallet!
- To you, seor, it is free.
It is useless to look for it now. In Mexico,
a thief disappears like a puff of smoke.
It's only cowhide, Ben.
Max'll buy you another.
It wasn't the wallet,
it's the sentiment. I had $12 in it!
- Old Max sure knows how to live.
- The fanciest lodge hall I ever seen!
- Hey, come on down here!
- What's at this end?
Aren't you going to join us, monsieur?
- The emperor built quite a palace.
- You know its history?
We had books in the South...
And one or two homes that once
might have stood beside all this.
Once?
There's nothin' ever destroyed
that can't be rebuilt.
Perhaps... if a man
wants to badly enough.
I didn't come down here for the ride.
Aw, come one, take just
a little bite! Come on!
- What do you suppose is wrong with her?
- Try approaching 'em downwind.
Oh, gentlemen.
May I present Captain Danette?
Monsieur Erin, Monsieur Trane.
You'll find something in common
with this gentleman.
As a soldier, he fought with
the American Confederate Army.
Then I feel we'll have little in common.
You see, I've never fought
with a losing side.
That's cos you ain't ever fought him!
He has you there, Captain, I assure you.
Excuse me. The captain will
take care of your needs from now on.
Tell Max we're waitin'!
Your acquaintance with
etiquette amazes me, monsieur.
I had no idea you knew
which hand to use.
When I was no higher than
a hound dog's tail on point,
I had a little tin soldier, about so high.
And one day I lost him... and I cried.
My mother said "Stop bawlin'. Someday
that soldier's bound to show up."
And she was right.
You're back.
Joe! Over there!
Careful, monsieur. Some of the wine
is getting in your mouth.
Hello...
Hello!
Marie. You're looking
your loveliest this evening.
Thank you, Henri.
Mon cher Henri,
it's so nice to have you safely back.
The palace seemed empty without you.
Obviously your trip was successful.
Successful but... distasteful.
May I introduce Monsieur Erin, Monsieur
Trane? The Comtesse Marie Duvarre.
Enchante.
No wonder you was in
such a fire to get here.
Tous les Amricains, ils sont trs beaux.
- You are being complimented.
- Merci. Vous seriez belle n'importe o.
Monsieur, your French
is as pretty as your flattery.
In New Orleans,
we learn how to handle both.
Dirty son of a...
His Majesty the emperor.
Excuse me, gentlemen, please.
- Your Majesty.
- Henri.
They're a disreputable-looking band.
Do they know the nature of their mission?
Only that they will be
handsomely rewarded.
Do you consider death
a handsome enough reward for them?
If not from the guns of the Juaristas,
perhaps from the steel
of Your Majesty's lancers.
You may present me
to the courageous little group.
Your Majesty, allow me to...
I implore your indulgence.
They are not familiar with court protocol.
It is gratifying that you men
are so sympathetic with our position
- that you offer your services to us.
- Let's get one thing clear, Your Majesty.
Our services come high.
I hope the emperor is more interested
in fire power than protocol.
Precisely. Our primary concern is getting
a coach through Juarista country
- to the port at Vera Cruz.
- May I humbly remind Your Majesty
that my lancers will also take part.
Quiet. You failed before.
I beg your indulgence, sire.
But why should these men do any better?
Pittsburgh.
- This is why.
- Indeed.
May I? I am something of a marksman.
Ah, yes...
the new Winchester repeating rifle.
I hear it fires faster than the double-action
pistol, and as far as the eye can see.
Mister, it does everything
but shoot around corners.
Most amusing.
But, of course, a weapon is only
as good as the man who uses it.
Monsieur!
Hold on to your hat, Max. And don't
worry about the women and children.
Fantastique!
Magnifique!
Three torches left.
A pity your gun is empty.
It's not.
Your Majesty said he was a marksman.
Allow me, sire.
Thank you, monsieur.
Bravo! Bravo!
All the way forward...
All the way back.
Bravo!
Bravo!
Perhaps I better stop.
We have a servant problem as it is.
I assure Your Majesty I shall be
perfectly safe with these gentlemen.
Well, then, I suppose I must approve.
You see, it is the countess
who will occupy the coach.
She's decided that she must see Paris
again, and we indulge her every whim.
The marquis wants her to reach
the ship at Vera Cruz safely.
She will if the price is right.
I suppose when one deals with men
of action, one must expect action.
Does 25,000 in gold sound reasonable?
A pretty figure... but only half as pretty
as the figure we're escorting to Vera Cruz.
I gather that double would increase
your sense of responsibility?
It would double it.
I'll be a dirty...
The water is about to come in!
Joe's pretty fast on the draw!
I'd prefer he restricted
his speed to his gun!
Funny country, isn't it? A carriage cuts
deeper tracks than an overloaded wagon.
Yeah, funny country, all right.
A very large convoy
to protect one woman.
It will take two days
to get men for an attack.
- Get them!
- Yes, sir.
But in the meantime a few
will have to do the work of many.
- You are welcome, seor.
- We need food and drink for 70 people.
Your best - you understand?
But, seor, our provisions are scarce,
and the emperor does not pay.
We dine in an hour.
They have a very passable wine here -
vintage of '59. We'll stay the night.
Easy to defend, too.
My dear, you are unusually
gallant this evening.
- As gallant as the two Americans?
- You surprise me, Henri.
You should know there is never
anything to fear from two men.
Your French is as pretty
as your flattery, mon-sewer.
Ma'am, I learned my French
in old New Orleans.
Oh! You wanna play, huh?
Voulez-vous get off my toe?!
Aw, Tex! I told you to be careful!
You Americans are so gallant!
Come on, Countessy. Let's go!
Come on, Joe. Give it back.
Sure.
A little careless with
your hardware, ain't ya?
- Look out behind you, Joe!
- Ah, come on, Little Bit.
You can do better than that.
Careful, Joe.
It's cocked.
Well, what do you know?
So it is. Catch it, Little Bit!
You boys ain't gonna let
a little gunshot spoil the party?
Ballad, show us really how to dance.
Give us a hoedown, Pittsburgh!
Anything you say, Mr Erin.
- Hello...
- Hello!
How much d'you think is there?
Just enough.
For two?
Good evening.
Each one of those six boxes contains
half a million dollars in gold.
- Three million!
- Sure has a nice ring to it.
You plannin' to visit Paris or buy it?
This is the money to bring troops from
Europe to keep Maximilian on the throne.
But I can think of many uses for it
more civilised than war.
- Ma'am, you're just full of surprises.
- Then let me add another.
- One million's enough for me.
- It ain't for me.
I'm a pig.
Be a shame not to keep it all in one piece.
Perhaps. But neither of you
can get out of the country alone.
If the Juaristas captured it,
they could win.
- They ain't gonna capture it.
- You don't know the Juaristas.
They are suspicious already. Even
Maximilian needed me for camouflage.
How come he made
the mistake of pickin' you?
The emperor is very fond of the marquis,
so I made sure
the marquis became fond of me.
Looks like you been thinkin'
about this for a long time.
I have.
There will be a sea captain
to meet me in Las Palmas.
He has a fast ship
up the coast from Vera Cruz.
The marquis know about that?
Unfortunately, as I have
discovered to my embarrassment,
Henri is loyal to his emperor.
But I dare say he would be willing to...
die for Maximilian.
- How do we know we can trust you?
- How do I know I can trust you?
Countess,
you're beginnin' to talk my language.
- And yours?
- Should be an interesting trip!
I wish you'd stop drawin' around me!
Now, gentlemen.
It's a long way to Vera Cruz.
You see that?
You must have had a restful night
to find the morning so amusing.
It's the countess. She's quite a woman!
Indeed. She's worth her weight in gold.
Now.
Now.
Out of the way, peasants!
Not yet!
Joe!
The carriage!
The carriage!
Forward!
Hey! You saved my bacon back there!
Sorry I was so slow gettin' to ya.
You'd have been a little slower,
you'd have stood to be richer.
- Maybe I didn't think of that.
- Too bad you never knew Ace Hanna.
Ran a gamblin' joint back in Laredo.
Shot my old man in a stud game
when I was still a kid.
- Ace felt so bad, he give me a home.
- What's it got to do with my savin' you?
Ace said "Don't take
any chances you don't have to."
"Don't trust anybody you don't have to.
Don't do no favours you don't have to do."
Ace lived long enough to know he was
right. He lived 30 seconds after I shot him.
You know somethin'? That's the first time
I ever told anybody the story of my life.
Thanks.
Halt the caravan! Count the casualties!
- Well, if it isn't Papayas!
- Why don't you let a real man try it?
You'll never catch her, Pittsburgh!
What's the matter?
Ain't you gonna scream?
I like 'em when they scream. Maybe you
can bring Ben Trane to the rescue again.
- Ain't that right, Donnegan?
- Right.
Hold it!
- Where did she come from?
- She's here of her own free will.
- I'll believe that when you let her go.
- You was a man, you'd get off that horse.
I'll get off when you turn her loose.
Shoot him as he's gettin' off.
We're waitin'!
You boys had enough fightin' for the day?
You heard the man.
Tex, get aboard that wagon.
Well... that old Southern charm.
Draws 'em like bees to honey, eh, Ben?
She snaked that wagon outta there
just like a mule skinner.
- Mount up, Ballad.
- I just wanted to get to Vera Cruz.
Just for the ride to Vera Cruz?
You did a favour for me once.
Is it too much to expect another?
That was a nice new dress you're wearin'.
You wouldn't turn her down, would ya?
It'd break her heart.
Captain Danette informed me of your
heroics. My compliments, mademoiselle.
We want an explanation
of your presence here.
Ain't you heard?
We just picked up a passenger.
Such decisions are up to the marquis.
Well?
I wish you a pleasant journey to Vera
Cruz. It's time we were starting again.
Mount the caravan!
- Thank you, seor.
- Forward!
Kinda cosy, ain't it, Ben?
Now we both got girls.
You just can't do
enough for me, can you?
Why not? You're the first friend I ever had.
- That's the fifth one we've seen today.
- Sixth. I bet these hills are full of 'em.
It's a cinch
they ain't gonna wait much longer.
Hey, you! Wake up!
Keep your eyes on the road!
Your concern for the safety of the
carriage is most gratifying, monsieur.
Protecting the countess
is what I'm here for.
Is that all? I like to think
you're here to protect the wagons,
the supplies, the horses...
to say nothing of myself.
That marquis has too many teeth
in that crocodile smile. I don't like it.
Then don't make so much fuss
over this carriage... or me.
We get to Las Palmas, if that ship captain
ain't there, you'll really see a fuss.
- I see we have a prisoner.
- And three missing lancers.
Not a very good swap.
Run! Run, you fool!
Why don't they try throwin' rocks?
You wouldn't want to see
the game end too soon, monsieur.
Long live Jurez!
- Pleasant trip?
- It is not pleasant to see a man killed.
- Even a Juarista.
- Even a Juarista?
That's strange coming from a Mexican.
It is hard to be a patriot
on an empty stomach.
What if Ramirez and the Juaristas win?
Things might be different.
How can they win without money?
Without guns?
You saw General Ramirez,
and you chose Maximilian.
Why should I be different?
You are different.
Most girls don't steal wallets.
Where is it?
If you believe that, seor,
why did you let me come with you?
- Hand it over.
- Have you looked for it lately?
Of course, it is empty.
$12!
Picking pockets is a habit hard to break.
Why are you so anxious
to get to Vera Cruz?
For me, it is not wise
to stay too long in one place.
And in Vera Cruz there are
many people... and many pockets.
And many dresses.
They say that a thief in Mexico today
can disappear like a puff of smoke.
- Is that true?
- You can see smoke disappear.
Suppose I wanted to get to
Vera Cruz alone... Could I do it?
It's possible, seor.
But why?
A man named Ace Hanna used to say:
"It never hurts to have an ace in the hole."
We would go together?
You never can tell.
I'm just liable to get that filled for ya.
- Henri?
- Yes?
I should like to stop here.
Las Palmas is famous for its fiestas.
Of course. And you must be tired.
Continue with your dancing!
I enjoy seeing our people happy.
- We halt here.
- But we could push on to the next town.
This will make it difficult
to reach Vera Cruz tomorrow.
It is the countess's wish.
I do not intend to disappoint her.
I will see the mayor provides us
with food and quarters.
Food only. Quarters will not be necessary.
You see, it is here that
the countess intends to betray us.
Halt the caravan.
I'll take this.
Of course. Anything you say, monsieur.
- Gettin' very polite, isn't he?
- Yeah.
- That ship captain here?
- In front of the cantina.
The man with the whiskers.
- He will come to me later.
- Why not now?
We must be careful
not to arouse the marquis' suspicion.
You see, he may not trust us
as much as we trust each other.
He been to see her yet?
Not yet. He don't make a move soon,
I'm gonna work on him myself.
Easy. Wait till he's had a chance
to tell the countess where the ship is.
- You ain't a fool enough to trust her?
- No.
But she can't make a move,
not without us.
Tell me somethin'. How come you let
a little thing like the Civil War bust ya?
I made the mistake of fightin'
the last battle on my own property.
Well, don't you worry. After this you can
build her up again, outta solid marble.
I guess you don't know much
about a plantation, do ya?
It's not just a house.
It's land... a lot of people.
And right now they're in a pretty bad fix.
They're sorta dependin' on you
to get 'em started again, Colonel?
I guess that old soft spot
ain't only for horses, huh?
You keep an eye on that captain.
I'll watch the gold.
All right, you boys.
Let's just keep right on playin'.
I never played with no real band before.
Vous avez une allumette, monsieur?
- Seor, you startled me!
- How did you get in there?
I told them the countess
had sent me for a dress.
- It's a good thing I'm not the countess.
- Don't tell her.
I wanted to wear it at the fiesta.
- But she's sure to be there.
- But by then I will have it on.
- It will be worth it, seor.
- When she sees you with that dre...
I thought you were
keepin' an eye on that captain.
He just went in to see her. I'll give him
some time. Everything all right here?
Quiet as a churchyard,
if you don't count that fandango.
Sounds kinda nice, doesn't it?
Must be hard for a man to keep his mind
on his job when music like that gets goin'.
Guess it is, if you think about it.
- Anybody pokin' around?
- Not a soul.
If they had, you'd have shot 'em.
Wouldn't you?
All right, Joe. You saw her.
I'd have stopped her on her tracks... dead.
For stealin' a dress?
You and Ace Hanna wouldn't
have lasted long as partners.
I don't figure Ace
would have had much choice.
By joining the ship in this cove here,
you won't have to worry
about the garrison at Vera Cruz.
- I shall be there by sundown tomorrow.
- You and all these Americans?
Only two.
The others will be lost along the way.
- The longboat will be on the beach.
- But one thing must be understood:
When I come aboard with the gold,
I come alone.
- But the two Americans?
- I repeat: I come aboard alone.
Very good. I have a well-trained
and well-armed crew.
- Shall I leave this, or can you remember?
- I can remember.
- Who is it?
- Open up!
Joseph! I was just going to send for you.
Joseph!
This is Capitaine Lecroix. Monsieur Erin -
the gentleman I mentioned.
A pleasure, monsieur.
- Until tomorrow, then.
- Of course.
What's your hurry?
But, Joseph, everything's arranged.
He has a long journey.
You wouldn't want to delay him.
To Paris!
- You forget who I am.
- I don't forget a thing.
- He looked at me like I was a dead man!
- Ridiculous!
I've seen that look
too many times not to know it.
- If you trust me so little...
- I don't trust you at all.
All you want is that gold.
You won't get it without me.
I'm takin' over that boat
before you ever set foot aboard her.
That's why you'll take anything
I hand out and learn to like it.
See? Because you and me is the same.
Sale brute! I should have made
my deal with Monsieur Trane.
Old Ben Trane...
He's quite a feller.
Aide to General Beauregard.
Whipped his weight in Yankees.
And a gentleman.
A real Southern gentleman!
Colonel Ben Trane, ma'am,
at your service.
I don't trust him. He likes people and
you can never count on a man like that.
Do you mean... it would be
just the two of us, Joseph?
I was wonderin'
if that captain could swim.
I've always wanted to sail my own boat.
But, Joseph,
you will have a million and a half
and I'll have a million and a half.
And... we will have each other.
But Monsieur Trane...
how will we slip away from him?
Funny... runnin' my fingers through
your hair, I feel it way down in my toes.
But, Joseph, we have so little time,
and Monsieur Trane knows our plans.
Part of our plan.
How much of your plans do I know?
Chrie...
You are wondering why
I should share anything with you.
But, chrie, you know where the boat is.
But afterward... we must be careful
one doesn't push the other overboard.
Ace Hanna'd be proud
of the way you think.
So am I.
Joseph,
you are born American,
but at heart you're French.
- Take it off.
- The countess has missed it?
Don't worry about that. Hurry.
I am hurrying. Do you want me to tear it?
There'll be no time for any fiesta tonight.
Look. Isn't it magnificent?
And feel. It is silk.
The first silk I ever wore.
I wanted you to see me in it, just once.
- Found the gold in there, didn't you?
- Gold?
The gold you've been looking for
since you joined this outfit.
- You can't believe that.
- You knew the carriage was guarded.
You wouldn't have sneaked in for a dress,
not if it was made of all the silk in China.
All right. You knew I was a thief.
Not only a thief - a Juarista.
How can you say that? I drove the wagon
out when the Juaristas attacked.
Sure - after the attack. Don't try to lie
to me. All you people are Juaristas.
Then why did you help me?
Because I need your help - now.
You're not like these other men,
these hired killers.
You know Maximilian
has no right to this gold.
That gold belongs to the man who gets it.
Joe Erin or me.
You like that dress.
How would you like a dozen of 'em?
A hundred, with hats and shoes
and parasols to match?
How can you even say this?
Because that gold belongs
to both of us together.
You and I both know that no cause
is worth three million dollars.
Wait here!
- The horses!
- What's it about?
Round up the men and get the horses!
They got the carriage!
Hold it!
We'll get the carriage back,
but we'll get it back together.
Now cut this lead out!
- Why weren't you sittin' on that gold?
- What were you doin'?
Never mind that now. Cut that bullet out!
A pleasure!
- What's up?
- Don't pester him! The man's sufferin'.
Hold it!
We all wanna see what's in there.
It's kinda funny the way you two
been takin' care of this carriage lately.
And not sayin' nothin' to the rest of us.
You boys sobered up mighty fast.
A few gunshots'll do it
every time, Mr Trane.
If what we think is in there,
we'd just have to figure you two
was crossin' us, wouldn't we?
Now open it up!
Looks like the marquis beat us to it, Joe.
Nothin'!
Still a fool for luck, ain't ya, Joe?
Man, oh, man!
- Pittsburgh! The Winchesters!
- He'll never make it!
He gone crazy?
Wait a minute.
- You were right, General. We meet again.
- You are wise to surrender, seor.
Surrender? Hardly!
But why waste lives over nothing?
There's no gold there to fight over.
Pedro.
We've all been tricked.
I've an idea that gold is in a wagon,
headin' for the garrison at Vera Cruz.
You did not walk out here
just to tell me that.
I suggest we join forces and get it back.
No. That gold belongs to Mexico.
It cannot be shared with anyone.
We don't ask a share, only fair payment.
$100,000.
- A lot of money.
- A lot of us will die earning it.
Very well. Payment to be contingent
on the capture of the gold.
I take your word, seor.
And we will keep the bargain.
Sure gotta hand it to ya, Colonel.
Robert E Lee himself never
made a smarter manoeuvre.
For 100,000...
Maybe I should have doubled the ante.
Why worry about the ante
with three million still in the pot?
You know somethin'? You're gettin'
more like Ace Hanna every day.
From now on,
it's me and you right down the line.
Just like it's always been, Joe?
- You ain't sore, are ya?
- Now, what have I got to be sore about?
All right, Ben. I was a fool
to even think of crossin' ya.
How'd you figure it out so fast?
Old crocodile teeth
switchin' the gold to the wagon?
Old crocodile teeth and I had
the same idea... only he got to it faster.
Well, I'll be a dirty...
- You managed to precede me, Captain.
- My route was more direct, sir.
- And I had good reason for haste.
- No doubt. But the ruse was successful.
The emperor will be pleased.
Is the ship waiting?
Yes, sir.
The captain is sending an escort
to take you and the cargo aboard
- in time to leave with the morning tide.
- Good. Now...
I am sure you will enjoy
sending me to a dungeon, Henri.
Certainly not.
The countess has lived
a most comfortable life so far.
See that she enjoys the brief remainder.
Yes, sir.
This way, madame.
Gracias.
- They're more friendly than I expected.
- What do you mean, "friendly"?
They're playin' us for suckers. They figure
we're gonna get that gold back for 'em.
Hey, Ben... I didn't know
these yokels could write.
- What are they up to?
- They know it won't be any picnic.
Wanna be sure and get buried
under the right name.
It's a good idea.
You write my name, I write yours.
We'll fool Saint Peter yet!
- What luck?
- We went all the way around the fort.
- They are better prepared than last time.
- And our attack failed the last time.
Seores, I'm glad you're here.
How can we best use your Winchesters?
They're the nearest thing
to artillery you have.
Very well. You will cover us
with fire while we assault the gates.
Hey, General, that's a great idea!
We'll be right behind ya!
Hey, amigo, what you got there? Tequila?
Strange man, seor. The first like him I
ever met who could be happy with his lot.
Why is that strange? He stands
a chance to win a big prize tomorrow.
Money. Is that worth risking your life for?
Comes closer than anything I know.
A man's got to have more than that.
He needs something to believe in.
I got that too.
- You two have met before.
- A couple of times.
You are surprised to see me?
Why? I believe last night both of us knew
that gold belongs to Mexico.
Like bees to honey, eh, Ben?
Thanks.
Looks like we tied up
with the wrong outfit.
Give 'em some help. Aim for the windows!
On to the second position!
Let's go!
Nice shootin', Colonel!
They got a lotta guts.
If they get that gold, they'll have earned it!
You ain't thinkin' of keepin' that bargain?
I wouldn't give 'em the sweat off my brow!
Grenade!
Move it, men!
Joseph!
- Chrie! Where's the gold?
- The marquis! He's making a run for it!
Ben! The marquis!
- Ballad! Donnegan!
- Be right back.
Go!
Ballad! Snake that wagon outta here!
- Oh, chrie...
- Where's the boat?
Only a few miles. The next cove
up the coast... the north side.
Now we both know where it is. Don't we?
Joseph, you're taking me with you?
You and Ben Trane... you'll never learn.
So long, chrie!
- Hold it, Ballad! You got a passenger.
- We got it, Mr Erin!
Thanks.
Joe!
Looks like you meant
that Ace Hanna story after all.
Too bad you missed the point.
I'm takin' that wagon out.
That gold's goin' to the Juaristas.
Not if you give me a fair chance at a draw.
Just like you gave Ballad.
That old soft spot, eh, Ben?
Even Ace had one, Joe.
That was Ace's mistake.