Vidange Perdue (The Only One) (2006) Movie Script
It's chilly here grandad.
Let me close the window
before mum starts nagging again.
And make the bed
before she comes down.
Here you are.
I have a class.
Christ. Shut that door, will you.
Don't you know how to knock?
You're not living alone, you know.
Can you take a crap
in front of Gerda?
Dear editor-in-chief. Once again
I have no choice but to write you.
Listen to this:
A Moroccan told the judge his number
plate was hanging upside down
because he only speaks Arabic and
is unable to read Western symbols.
That's why he couldn't know
his number plate was upside down.
Imagine how he behaves in traffic.
He can't read a single sign.
How does a guy like that find a job?
How can you work
for a boss you don't understand?
Answer that question in the paper.
Yours truly, Lucien Knops.
What a day, I'm dog-tired.
I brought the catalogue.
Dad, you forgot the bed again.
What's this? Dad, what is this?
Those are toenails.
- Throw them away at once.
They're clean, aren't they?
- So filthy.
The bathroom is always occupied.
I'm going for a game of billiards
after I mail this letter.
Grandad, your pill.
- Oh, you're right, my pill.
Must you take that with whisky?
What's this?
We'd love to buy a mobile home.
It's been our dream for years.
A mobile home?
Yes. They're regular castles
on wheels nowadays.
We could drive it to France and Spain.
Really. Well, well, well.
No reaction. He couldn't care less.
What did you expect? That he'd go
running straight to the bank?
I'm so fed up with him.
- It was your idea to take him in.
You know him. He'll do anything
to get a rise out of you.
Eat this.
What are you doing?
- It's called tactics.
Take his place Lucien.
Now those are my tactics.
Me take Felix' place?
I don't think so.
You can have my Mathilde, you know.
Perhaps if you add some coupons and
even then I'd have to think about it.
Well thanks a lot.
- I came to play billiards.
A round for everyone
from the chairman.
Goddammit.
What's going on here, dad?
Are you making French fries?
- I'm hungry.
Go to bed, you're drunk.
I need something to eat.
- You're worse than a child.
I'm hungry and I want French fries.
I don't have a life anymore.
I'm out of French fries.
- I'm hungry, I have to...
You smell.
- Let go of me.
French fries...
My own daughter, goddammit.
I just wanted French fries.
My own daughter
won't give me French fries.
I'm moving back to my own house.
I'm getting on your mother's nerves.
I can feel it.
- And he's absolutely right, too.
You lasted longer than I thought.
How long did I give you, two weeks?
But tell me, who's going
to take care of you now?
Let me worry about that.
- Oh really?
I'm going to find me a girlfriend.
- Not on your life.
Stupid man.
How will you cope? Who will
clean the house and do the laundry?
I've only got two hands.
- Mathilde will take care of me.
I thought you couldn't stand her?
- She helped me with your mother.
And why would she
do the same for you?
I'll look deep into her eyes.
A lot of good that'll do.
But wait, that may not be
such a bad idea.
But the minute I see you
can't take care of yourself,
you're moving to a rest home.
I'm off to work.
And don't forget to take your pills.
Twit.
Do you really want a girlfriend?
- Of course not.
I already have one.
'That man
should be punished severely'.
Jesus, grandad, what are you doing?
Grandad, did you get that typewriter
before World War I or II?
It works just fine
and that's all that matters to me.
Dad's buying me a laptop if they
accept me. You could have my PC.
Me, a computer?
What do I need a computer for?
For your letters. Once you have one,
you won't be able to do without it.
Tell me, what does Paris have to offer
that you can't find here?
My degree.
- When I was your age...
I didn't say anything.
My lips didn't even move.
And one baklava.
Just one?
I'll take them all.
I'll indulge myself.
Master Lucien.
Hi, I'm Sylvia.
I'm your new neighbour.
Lucien Knops.
That'll be twelve euros
and 28 cents.
Here you are.
- Thank you.
Here you are.
- Thanks.
And your bag. Thank you.
- Bye.
You look like a million bucks today.
- A pack of coffee.
Beans, mocha, unground, right?
- Okay.
It's me.
I prepared your favourite dish.
And what might that be?
- Rabbit in gueuze beer with potatoes.
Since when is that
my favourite dish?
What is your favourite dish then?
- Do you need a hint?
Lucien, really.
Where are your manners?
It's been too long for manners.
- Lucien, really.
It hasn't been that long since...
- Now don't go all holy on me.
You weren't so shy
when Astrid was lying upstairs.
Come on.
At least give me a kiss.
- No Lucien.
Come on, one kiss.
There's just no talking to you.
- No, there isn't...
Well, are you coming?
- Coming where?
To the bedroom of course.
In Astrid's bed?
Not in a million years.
Come here, Lucien.
My back...
Pull me up.
Rabbit in gueuze with potatoes?
- It had been a while, hadn't it?
How's Felix?
Don't be a fool.
Billiards and Trappist
are all he cares about.
But you won't leave him?
Where would I go?
You can't have it all in life.
If you ever have another woman,
I swear I'll kill you.
I wouldn't dare.
I'm dead serious.
- Me too. Always.
Swear it.
I swear.
Hello Lucien. Good to see you.
How have you been?
So, Mr Chairman. Are you getting
used to being alone in the house?
A round for everyone from the
chairman. I'll have a Trappist.
Well look at that. Even my Mathilde
would have made that shot.
Things happen.
Will you find your way home?
- Just you find your way to Mathilde.
You be careful just the same.
Sir?
Would you open the door please?
Careful. Hello sir,
what seems to be the problem?
What is your name?
Your name.
- Knops.
Knops. Why are you parked
in the middle of the intersection?
You don't remember?
Have we been drinking?
Yes, of course we have.
Too much to drink, am I right?
Do you have your key, grandad?
I'll take it.
You took my driving licence.
Count yourself lucky
we didn't lock you up.
When can I have it back?
- That's up to the police judge.
What's his name?
- No idea. You jump right into bed.
The carpet, the drapes, the beds,
it's all incombustible.
And stainproof.
Everything can be mopped up.
Hygiene is an absolute priority.
Morning Ren.
Cameras everywhere so we
can detect everything immediately.
If you want top security,
we even have a special bracelet.
It's very easy to wear too.
You can wear it around the wrist
or on a belt, usually the wrist.
It's something like the bracelets
they have at rock festivals.
I just happen to have one on me.
Here it is.
Perhaps we could test it?
- Thanks but no thanks.
We also attach a great deal
of importance to the food.
Monday is minced meat day.
On Tuesdays it's
vol-au-vent with French fries.
Wednesdays it's a cold dish and
on Thursdays we eat spaghetti.
Fridays we eat fish sticks and
on Saturdays cutlets are on the menu.
On Sundays we've got roast turkey.
This is the dining room.
There's an academy nearby and
the students often come to play here.
There's a ballroom dancing
afternoon and one for bingo.
Miss...
Dad, where are you going?
If I have to leave somewhere
feet first,
it'll be from home and nowhere else.
But dad, how can you
want to be anywhere else?
It's so modern
and that manager was so charming.
A two-faced bastard.
- Now why would you say that?
Because it's true.
- I understand. He's still healthy.
That's the point. This is the perfect
place to help him stay healthy.
This is no prison, is it? No one
to meddle in your affairs, no nagging.
And you're taken care of.
You can come and go as you please.
You can play billiards every day
and there'd be people to talk to.
Why don't you move in then?
You're being childish.
Get in the car.
Get in the car, dad.
And a bit of ground cheese, please.
Hi, Master Lucien. I hope the fire
didn't do too much damage?
They want to put me in a rest home.
Over my dead body.
Hand me a can of tomato soup.
What's he saying?
There aren't any rest homes in Turkey.
Parents move in with their children.
Well, Turkey, yes.
That's it?
- Yes, that's it.
That'll be 18 euros.
- Thank you.
Can you put it on my tab? I haven't
had time to rob a bank yet this week.
No problem.
Wait, Mr Lucien
will give you a hand.
Thank you, that's very kind. Bye.
Thank you, madam Sylvia.
Bye, Master Lucien.
Thank you.
You're most kind, Mr Knops.
You must think I'm an old bastard.
No, that's not it. I just don't get
the impression you're looking
to strike up an inspiring conversation
with your new neighbour.
Perhaps we're too different.
Still, I speak Dutch,
I pay my taxes on time
and I'm very clean.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Come in.
Just ignore the mess.
That's a Raveel.
I know nothing about art.
Do you like that?
Are you interested in art?
It's home-made.
- Thank you.
Was that your father
in the rest home?
No, that's my husband.
He has a rare form of Alzheimer's.
Alzheimer's?
I'll hang myself if I get Alzheimer's.
If you can remember
where you left the noose.
Great coffee.
- Thank you.
It's me.
Dammit, Lucien.
One of these days
you'll give me a heart attack.
By the way, could you keep the place
a bit tidier from now on?
It was a pigsty.
Have you been drinking?
Damn drunk. I've got one like that
at home. One is more than enough.
There's someone at the door.
That'll be 375.
- Here you are.
Thank you, Lucien.
Bye madam.
When did you last have a bath?
What kind of a question is that?
So you're going to Paris after all?
That's the general idea, yes.
How did your parents react?
Dad's not against it, but...
mum is. Paris is in a foreign country
and it's so expensive there.
And my scholarship isn't good enough
and this and that.
I really hope she'll let me go.
Your mother shouldn't nag so much.
On the contrary.
She should be proud of her daughter.
Don't worry about money. If money's
an issue, I'll take care of it.
Grandad.
But who will help me
with this machine?
It's really not much harder than your
typewriter and a lot more practical.
You're going to love it, trust me.
You especially.
All those letters you write.
There we are.
Hello Felix.
How bad is it?
Don't hesitate to buzz the nurse.
- I won't.
There's Lucien. Hi Lucien.
You shouldn't have.
- What lovely flowers.
Go get a vase, Felix.
- Yes darling.
Looks like I'll be here for a while
with that leg of mine.
Will you be able to cope?
- I'll have to find someone.
Just to do the cleaning.
You won't cheat on me, will you?
- No.
I'm not saying anything. Not a word.
- Why? She's pretty, isn't she?
You're not telling me
there were no other candidates.
Two Polish ones
but I didn't understand them.
And a Moroccan woman
with a moustache.
I didn't want to understand her.
What about the lady I sent you?
A decent Belgian woman.
She wouldn't work off the books.
Have you worked before?
I used to tend bar in a club.
I'm a dancer actually.
Lucien, I'm out of here, okay?
You won't forget to take the laundry
out of the washer?
What is it this time?
You never really loved me.
Roxanne, can you get two Trappists?
Wow, where did you find her?
Mathilde and Gerda talked about
your maid for over an hour yesterday.
You're joking.
She's mad about older men.
- Really?
Thanks.
- There you go.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Now tell me why you're here.
I brought the order of business
for the general assembly.
I know it by heart, don't I?
Don't forget we have to elect
a new chairman this year.
I've been the only candidate
for thirty years.
I know, but Raymond
is also running this year.
Raymond?
- Yes, Raymond.
Some people live in a fool's paradise.
Mr Knops? I'm Samira.
Pleased to meet you.
Let me get the door for you.
Dear editor-in-chief,
this is going too far.
A fine of five hundred euros and
I don't get my licence back
until I take the driving test again.
There's no justice left in the world.
That's misuse of power,
it's all about the money.
Respect... They don't give a damn
about that anymore nowadays.
Take us, the third and fourth ages.
Do you really think they respect us?
They couldn't care less.
They keep us alive
just so they can test new drugs.
That means more jobs.
We're a valuable economic sector.
Some people make a bundle thanks to
us and that's all that matters nowadays.
A cup of coffee?
- That's all that matters.
A cup of coffee? Why not.
Roxanne?
Okay, the name of the suspect?
Of your so-called housekeeper?
- Roxanne.
Roxanne's last name?
I don't know.
If it isn't our drunken grandad.
What did you do this time?
Grandad got his pension cheque stolen.
It's your own fault. I suppose
you've never heard of a bank?
I'm an old-fashioned guy.
I pay with money, not plastic.
A lot of good it did you.
Are you're sure you didn't
just misplace it and forget about it?
No, it was Roxanne all right.
- Roxanne?
Roxanne with no last name
and no address?
You've really gone off the deep end
since your wife's death, haven't you?
Do you mind my going to Paris?
Paris, Paris.
I've never been to Paris, you know.
I've got it.
Will you miss me?
- Don't be daft.
Dear editor-in-chief,
Why do people always have
to look for happiness elsewhere?
Is it so hard to be happy
in your own country?
Perhaps you can answer
my ever-recurring question.
Yours truly, Lucien Knops.
1.500 euros. That's
a lot of money. It's 2h30.
Maybe you'll be our 10th caller
and win the 1.500 euros.
This is my answering machine.
But be brave and leave
a message after the beep.
This is Julie.
This is an answering machine.
Be brave and leave
a message after the beep.
Well, you were right for once.
I just can't... I can't live alone.
I'm just starting to realise
how much your mother meant to me.
And I can no longer count on Mathilde.
I've decided...
I've decided to sell the house.
I'll check into a rest home
so you can buy that mobile home
and the rest of the money goes
into a savings account, for Julie.
I can't tell you
how happy that makes me.
It's such a relief, it really is.
I couldn't sleep at night.
Don't you worry about a thing.
Guido will take care of the paperwork.
I can't say I'm surprised those fuses
keep blowing at every turn.
This installation probably
dates back to the stone age.
It has to be replaced
as soon as possible. All of it.
All of it?
- All the wires,
from top to bottom.
- Oh no, I just can't afford that.
You can't just leave it, you know.
- Goddammit, just my luck.
I've decided to move...
to that rest home, De Meibloem.
What?
- I know, I know.
I thought you had more backbone.
- So did I, but I was wrong.
Doing the dishes from time to time.
Is that so hard? Or vacuuming?
Or going to the launderette
once a week?
I can't even make French fries
without burning down the house.
Leave the bottle alone then.
- The bottle won't leave me alone.
No, it's... it's the Ioneliness,
I just can't bear it.
At least I'd see other people there.
- Other people?
A dozen people like you have died
on every mattress in that rest home.
Your husband's there, isn't he?
Come on, I'll teach you
how to do your shopping.
Would you like a taste?
This is green tea.
Nice.
Thank you.
First lesson.
What's your favourite dish?
Rabbit in gueuze beer
with powdery potatoes.
That'll be your first lesson then:
Rabbit in gueuze beer.
But I'm replacing the powdery potatoes
with noodles and a salad.
Would you like to be my housekeeper?
- No, thanks.
But you won't need one
when I'm through with you.
I'll teach you the tricks of the trade
and I'm going to make sure
you get the hang of it.
So what'll it be?
Do you want to move to the rest home
to wither and die alone?
Or will you start a new life
as a new man?
Well if it isn't Lucien.
How about that for a coincidence?
What are you doing here?
Sylvia's teaching me how to cook.
- Aren't you going to introduce me?
This is Felix, and Mathilde.
- Nice to meet you.
This is Sylvia.
I thought you were moving to a home.
- So did I, but I was wrong.
I won't be going
to a rest home after all.
Lesson two: How to make corrections
without typing everything twice.
Here, let me show you.
Well look who's here, it's Gerda.
Did she make you change your mind?
- She's called Sylvia.
What's the idea here?
- I'm going to be a new man.
A new man? Really? At your age?
- Yes, at my age.
Then you press this
and you keep it pressed down.
So you're not going to De Meibloem?
- No.
What about her?
- She's my fiance.
You just want to spite me.
- Why would you think that?
Move the mouse over to "Edit",
click and select "Cut".
Cut, yes.
That woman cares about one thing and
one thing only. She's after his money.
You don't know that.
- But I do.
A little bird told me
that she-devil is dirt poor,
and he's a well-to-do widower.
Do I need to spell it out?
Come off it.
He's thirty years older if not a day.
My point exactly.
- There's life in the old dog yet.
You couldn't care less apparently.
Your dad is no fool, you know.
Certainly not when it comes to money.
Not only is he a fool,
he's behaving like the town idiot.
Why do you have it in
for Lucien lately?
It's them I'm worried about.
And Julie.
She's wrapping him around her finger
and she'll run off
with your inheritance in no time.
Mathilde is right and we both know
what he's capable of.
I'd have him inst... I'd have him...
what do you call it?
Institutionalised.
- Now you're really exaggerating.
We have to do something.
Why don't you ask him
to bequest the house to you.
That way you'd even
avoid succession duties.
Save...
as vidange...
perdue.
Enter.
A Trappist?
Say, why do you need a computer?
Sylvia taught me how to type and
she's teaching me to surf the net.
Surfing the internet
all over the world.
Surfing?
- Yes.
Now have a seat, drink that beer
and tell me to what I owe this visit.
No reason, I just dropped by.
- Come on, pull the other one.
I can see there's something
on your mind, so spit it out.
I have nothing against that,
on the contrary.
What do you take me for?
You have nothing against what?
- Well, Sylvia and...
You know what Mathilde's like.
She's goading Gerda.
Really? Why?
They're outraged.
- What do you mean, outraged?
Poor little Astrid hasn't been gone...
and then you...
Oh, well...
That really is an excellent Trappist.
- It's the same as always.
She's not moving in, is she?
- Who, Sylvia?
You nitwit.
- Don't take it the wrong way.
Put yourself in Gerda's shoes.
She's worried about her inheritance.
Surely that's normal?
You go back to your gendarme,
I'm busy.
Can I at least finish my Trappist?
So you're not going
to the variety show then?
Of course I am.
I'm looking for a wife, aren't I?
Mathilde said she really
doesn't feel like it.
That's a first. Normally she looks
forward to those evenings.
I don't know
what's got into her lately.
That's a good one.
Stop it or I'll wet myself.
Will you look at that? It was
a great idea to bring Lucien along.
It takes his mind off things
and that's good, isn't it?
He'd just be bored sitting at home.
Just look at them,
they're all spying on our Don Juan.
It's my leg. Shall we go sit down?
- Sure.
Jurgen Starlight makes the stars
shine in the night.
And the party goes on.
How about an old-fashioned game
of musical chairs?
I need twenty brave people.
Don't be shy now. Get up, get up.
Get up.
Line up here with Jurgen Starlight.
Bastard.
And now you want to kill me.
What do you think?
You said you wouldn't cheat on me.
That woman from just now?
Surely you're not jealous of her.
Don't play stupid with me.
Mathilde? Where are you?
What's wrong, honey?
Would you like to go?
I'm going to have a beer.
Would you rather go home, darling?
Something wrong?
- No, Lucien, nothing's wrong.
I'm just trying to decide
whether to hang or drown myself.
Of course, you could always
jump under a train.
Don't give me any ideas.
Do you want to come inside?
How was your night?
Eventful. Much too eventful.
It ought to be forbidden to grow old.
So you're scared to die.
- Scared...
I don't have enough time left
to be scared.
No, seriously?
What I really don't want
is to get ill.
When I think about what Astrid,
my wife,
had to go through.
She was terribly afraid
to die of cancer. Colon cancer.
She had a friend who'd died of
colon cancer and who'd suffered a lot.
That's why, every day,
Astrid checked her... you know...
her stool.
She had this special wooden spoon
she'd hidden
in a drawer.
She thought I didn't know.
Do you miss her?
Do I miss her?
What do you expect?
We were together for 55 years.
Now can I ask you a tough question?
- Sure.
Why did you put your husband
in a rest home?
I can't take care of him at home.
All in all it's the best solution.
The easiest solution perhaps.
I always took care of my wife at home.
Because you loved her or
to soothe your guilty conscience?
You can't throw people away like an
old glove because it's convenient.
I'm really jealous of your Astrid.
She must have led the life
of a princess at your side.
I'm going home.
Goodnight, Mr Knops.
- Goodnight. Where...
Where did I leave my coat?
- There.
Dismay, anger and incomprehension
at jeans manufacturer Levi Strauss.
At this morning's works council,
management announced the closure
of the plants in Gits, Wervik and
Deurne. 900 people are out of a job.
Shall we make up?
Economic unemployment,
shorter hours reorganisation
and less production.
It was all to no avail.
Too expensive.
Foreign labour's too cheap,
that's the problem.
Did you ever think
of going into politics?
I did run for election once,
for the labour party.
It was the 1958 municipal elections,
the year of the world exhibition.
Excuse me.
Sylvia speaking.
I understand. That's all right.
Don't worry about it.
Get well soon. Bye.
Would you like to go with me?
- Go where?
To the theatre.
- The theatre?
A play by Jan De Corte.
- Is it a comedy?
You decide. I like the playwright.
- So we'd go together.
Together, yes.
You're taking chances.
- You're taking chances with me, too.
The performance is sublime.
The text, the irony...
Jan is a genius, wouldn't you agree?
- Jan who?
God, he's funny.
I'm starting to understand what Sylvia
sees in him. He has a sense of humour.
I bet you're thinking
I have to get out of here
before that strange woman
assaults me. Am I right?
Julien.
Lucien.
It's been a pleasure. Really.
It's been a wonderful evening.
It was great to see you.
- Promise you'll call me.
Bye bye.
I'm glad to have met you.
- Likewise.
Cheerio.
- Bye.
What did you think?
- What a quaint little neighbourhood.
This place is just you.
Come here.
Gilly's right, I'm attracted
to men with a sense of humour.
I really enjoyed your company, Lucien.
Really.
You're not only weird,
you're very weird.
Are you ill?
No.
What's wrong then?
- Nothing.
That's...
- I have to go.
Dear friends, we will now elect
the committee members.
Treasurer, Louis Vermeulen.
All those in favour?
All those against?
Vice chairman, Jean Geysels.
All those in favour?
All those against?
And now the vote
for the chairmanship.
The vote will be in writing at the
request of member Raymond Leemans.
Those are the rules, Lucien.
We have to comply
if a member asks for a secret ballot.
Well that's a first.
Mr Vice Chairman,
please hand out the ballots.
And the final vote is
for Raymond Leemans.
Raymond Leemans
has been elected president
by seven votes to five.
Dear friends,
a big round of applause
for the man who, with a great deal
of dedication and will power,
was our chairman
for no less than 30 years.
And before we continue with the order
of the day, I'd like to propose,
through a special motion, to name
Lucien Knops honorary chairman.
Congratulations, Lucien. Now let's
move on to the order of the day.
Item one is the approval
of the minutes of today's meeting.
Judas.
Collaborator.
Nothing lasts forever, Lucien.
Your Mathilde, do you know...
What about her?
Never mind.
Is that all right?
- Yes, thanks.
It's just for today.
It was nothing serious.
I'd forgotten to take my pills
and that's why this happened.
Lucien, what is going on?
Why are you avoiding me?
- Whatever gave you that idea?
You bark on the phone, you pretend
you're out when I ring your doorbell.
What did I do?
Is it something I said? Tell me.
Lucien, tell me.
- You're cheating on your husband.
You're jealous.
Don't be ridiculous.
You're such a darling,
you really are. Come here.
My sweet Lucien.
She'll think I'm your new fiance.
Just like you think that Alain...
- But it's true, isn't it?
I never cheated on my wife.
No?
- No, never.
Not even a little bit?
- What do you mean?
You're a liar,
but I can understand why you'd lie.
Why do you think I do that?
Because I need a man.
I need his warmth, his body.
Because every now and then I want
to give myself over to a man,
when my instinct tells me
he can give me what I want.
No questions asked and
no strings attached.
Does that make me evil?
Are we still friends?
You're my sweet friend.
Astrid really didn't like it,
the Chinese kitchen.
It disgusted her. She used to say
they mixed rat in their food.
Good old-fashioned Flemish cooking
was all she needed.
Lesson three, add a little soja oil.
- Just a little?
Not too much, Lucien.
I said 'a little oil'. Now stir it.
Let me get that.
Hello. Please come in.
Get him out here.
- He's in the kitchen.
Just get him.
Why did you ring the bell
when you have a key?
Here's your key.
I won't set foot in this house again
and don't come knocking at mine.
You're a bad person.
The things you've done to my mother
and now me, you rotten bastard.
The things you've done to my mother
and me. Listen to yourself.
And Lucien doesn't count, I suppose,
because of what Lucien did
to your mother and you.
It's been like that all my life
and I'm fed up with it.
All the moaning, whining and nagging
and being bossed around all the time.
Lucien do this, do that, don't drink
so much, don't do that to me.
She even blamed me for that
damn cancer that took her mother.
Well you can kiss my ass.
Get out.
If they want a war,
then I'll give them one.
Do you think that's wise?
It's just a misunderstanding.
"DO NOT WASTE MONEY
ON THE OVER 85'S"
Dear editor-in-chief,
That professor Verdoodt claims that
medical treatment for the over 85's
costs loads of money
while being absolutely useless
and should therefore
be done away with.
In my opinion
these ideas completely destroy
the principle of solidarity
our Western society is so proud of.
The elderly who've worked all their
lives and paid social contributions
would no longer have the right
to claim medical care
unless they can pay for it.
That's a rich man's measure.
This is not just a subject
for the papers, but for TV as well.
You hit the nail right on the head,
Lucien. Well said.
Hello, we're from TV. Mr Knops?
Rik.
- Sylvia.
Sorry, let me just...
You can sit next to your father
if you like.
I wouldn't want to distract Lucien.
I'll go wait in the garden.
You wrote an angry letter
to The Laatste Nieuws.
What do you mean shoot?
- What was in the letter?
I think it's not right
that elderly people
who have worked all their lives...
Can you honestly say
you trust those charlatans?
All they're good for is getting
their face on TV.
With all their drivel.
The world is becoming
a decadent place.
He's on a roll now. How did it go?
Fantastic. Very interesting.
Just watch the news tonight.
Mr Knops. Madam. We're off
to interview professor Verdoodt.
It went well, didn't it?
Is that his nurse?
A round for everyone
from the chairman.
Well, the honorary chairman.
I'm so glad you dropped by Lucien.
This is the chap who unseated me.
Unseated... nothing lasts forever,
Lucien.
Am I right, madam?
- Sylvia, pleased to meet you.
You were chairman for thirty years.
How's your health?
Couldn't be better.
- I'll take your word for it.
Sylvia, wait. Like this.
Back up a bit more.
Stay calm and try to relax.
Put your hand here.
Max, turn on the TV, will you?
Yes, I'm going to be on the news.
You, on the news?
- They came to interview me.
You'll be a celebrity then?
I gave them a piece of my mind.
They thought it went well.
They congratulated me.
They were at my place all afternoon.
I must say they were really impressed.
Stop refunding the medical
expenses for the over 85's.
It's useless to invest in health
insurance schemes for the over 85's.
That's a remarkable theory,
professor.
Perhaps, but the future of our
health insurance is bleak.
The increase of the ageing
population is making it expensive.
Reactions from the various sectors.
This guy has benefitted
from society all his life.
He has executed lengthy studies
at the expense of society
and now as a professor
he's getting rich on fees.
Those involved are also outraged,
like pensioner Lucien Knops.
The common man is left in the cold
and the rich can afford
better doctors.
You really told them, Julien.
At least you have an opinion.
And that's important, right?
I think he did a good job.
- Very good.
A round for everyone, publican.
Here, Lucien. Have a cigar.
- Thanks but no thanks.
I have an idea. Let's go out tonight,
just the two of us.
What did I tell you? I knew I had
booze in the house somewhere.
You've got to taste this.
Everything changes,
but not for the better.
Take that thing, for example,
what it's called, that emile.
You mean e-mail.
- Well, take that e-mail.
You don't count anymore
if you don't have it.
Pretty soon we won't even need
the postman anymore.
But I can tell you I'm not done yet.
Far from it, as a matter of fact.
If it's true there's a heaven
up there in the sky,
that we'll all meet again
in the next world,
then they'll just
have to hold my seat.
To be honest, there aren't
many people I'd like to see again.
No one in fact.
What about me?
- Except for you.
And even then.
Voulez-vous danser, Madame?
- Bien sr, Monsieur.
Lesson four, breakfast la Knops.
Would you like coffee or tea?
I also have
freshly pressed orange juice.
That's so sweet of you.
It's been a long time since anyone...
thank you.
Omelette faon mditerrane.
Bon appetit.
- Bon appetit.
I'm sorry. It's a very hot
omelette mditerrane.
Have a sip.
About last night...
What happened last night... Let's
not make more of it than it was.
My instinct tells me we're better off
being really close friends.
Thank you, Lucien.
It was very good
- You haven't tasted it yet.
Bon appetit.
- Bon appetit.
This is great.
This is my answering machine.
Be brave and leave a message
after the beep.
This is Julie. This is
an answering machine.
Be brave and leave
a message after the beep.
Julie, it's me, it's grandad.
I never seem to catch you at home.
Mind you, that's a good sign.
Studying by day and having
fun in the evenings. Keep it up.
I'm proud of my granddaughter.
There you go. We're home.
Your jacket.
Flowers.
Grandad? What are you doing here?
I told you I'd never been
to Paris before. Well, here I am.
I've sold the house, I've given
your mother a mobile home
and I don't know yet what I'm going
to do with the rest of it.
What are you up to, grandad?
- Oh, I don't know yet.
Perhaps I'll make a trip
around the world.
Who knows,
I might even end up a tramp.
And... what's in the box?
Have a look.
- Is it for me?
Grandad, what gave you that idea?
If you live alone you should
at least have a deep fryer.
And you can't set it on fire.
Wait, before I forget...
Belgian potatoes, Belgian mayonnaise
and Belgian frying fat.
We'll eat French fries first
and then you can show me Paris.
Grandad.
Let me close the window
before mum starts nagging again.
And make the bed
before she comes down.
Here you are.
I have a class.
Christ. Shut that door, will you.
Don't you know how to knock?
You're not living alone, you know.
Can you take a crap
in front of Gerda?
Dear editor-in-chief. Once again
I have no choice but to write you.
Listen to this:
A Moroccan told the judge his number
plate was hanging upside down
because he only speaks Arabic and
is unable to read Western symbols.
That's why he couldn't know
his number plate was upside down.
Imagine how he behaves in traffic.
He can't read a single sign.
How does a guy like that find a job?
How can you work
for a boss you don't understand?
Answer that question in the paper.
Yours truly, Lucien Knops.
What a day, I'm dog-tired.
I brought the catalogue.
Dad, you forgot the bed again.
What's this? Dad, what is this?
Those are toenails.
- Throw them away at once.
They're clean, aren't they?
- So filthy.
The bathroom is always occupied.
I'm going for a game of billiards
after I mail this letter.
Grandad, your pill.
- Oh, you're right, my pill.
Must you take that with whisky?
What's this?
We'd love to buy a mobile home.
It's been our dream for years.
A mobile home?
Yes. They're regular castles
on wheels nowadays.
We could drive it to France and Spain.
Really. Well, well, well.
No reaction. He couldn't care less.
What did you expect? That he'd go
running straight to the bank?
I'm so fed up with him.
- It was your idea to take him in.
You know him. He'll do anything
to get a rise out of you.
Eat this.
What are you doing?
- It's called tactics.
Take his place Lucien.
Now those are my tactics.
Me take Felix' place?
I don't think so.
You can have my Mathilde, you know.
Perhaps if you add some coupons and
even then I'd have to think about it.
Well thanks a lot.
- I came to play billiards.
A round for everyone
from the chairman.
Goddammit.
What's going on here, dad?
Are you making French fries?
- I'm hungry.
Go to bed, you're drunk.
I need something to eat.
- You're worse than a child.
I'm hungry and I want French fries.
I don't have a life anymore.
I'm out of French fries.
- I'm hungry, I have to...
You smell.
- Let go of me.
French fries...
My own daughter, goddammit.
I just wanted French fries.
My own daughter
won't give me French fries.
I'm moving back to my own house.
I'm getting on your mother's nerves.
I can feel it.
- And he's absolutely right, too.
You lasted longer than I thought.
How long did I give you, two weeks?
But tell me, who's going
to take care of you now?
Let me worry about that.
- Oh really?
I'm going to find me a girlfriend.
- Not on your life.
Stupid man.
How will you cope? Who will
clean the house and do the laundry?
I've only got two hands.
- Mathilde will take care of me.
I thought you couldn't stand her?
- She helped me with your mother.
And why would she
do the same for you?
I'll look deep into her eyes.
A lot of good that'll do.
But wait, that may not be
such a bad idea.
But the minute I see you
can't take care of yourself,
you're moving to a rest home.
I'm off to work.
And don't forget to take your pills.
Twit.
Do you really want a girlfriend?
- Of course not.
I already have one.
'That man
should be punished severely'.
Jesus, grandad, what are you doing?
Grandad, did you get that typewriter
before World War I or II?
It works just fine
and that's all that matters to me.
Dad's buying me a laptop if they
accept me. You could have my PC.
Me, a computer?
What do I need a computer for?
For your letters. Once you have one,
you won't be able to do without it.
Tell me, what does Paris have to offer
that you can't find here?
My degree.
- When I was your age...
I didn't say anything.
My lips didn't even move.
And one baklava.
Just one?
I'll take them all.
I'll indulge myself.
Master Lucien.
Hi, I'm Sylvia.
I'm your new neighbour.
Lucien Knops.
That'll be twelve euros
and 28 cents.
Here you are.
- Thank you.
Here you are.
- Thanks.
And your bag. Thank you.
- Bye.
You look like a million bucks today.
- A pack of coffee.
Beans, mocha, unground, right?
- Okay.
It's me.
I prepared your favourite dish.
And what might that be?
- Rabbit in gueuze beer with potatoes.
Since when is that
my favourite dish?
What is your favourite dish then?
- Do you need a hint?
Lucien, really.
Where are your manners?
It's been too long for manners.
- Lucien, really.
It hasn't been that long since...
- Now don't go all holy on me.
You weren't so shy
when Astrid was lying upstairs.
Come on.
At least give me a kiss.
- No Lucien.
Come on, one kiss.
There's just no talking to you.
- No, there isn't...
Well, are you coming?
- Coming where?
To the bedroom of course.
In Astrid's bed?
Not in a million years.
Come here, Lucien.
My back...
Pull me up.
Rabbit in gueuze with potatoes?
- It had been a while, hadn't it?
How's Felix?
Don't be a fool.
Billiards and Trappist
are all he cares about.
But you won't leave him?
Where would I go?
You can't have it all in life.
If you ever have another woman,
I swear I'll kill you.
I wouldn't dare.
I'm dead serious.
- Me too. Always.
Swear it.
I swear.
Hello Lucien. Good to see you.
How have you been?
So, Mr Chairman. Are you getting
used to being alone in the house?
A round for everyone from the
chairman. I'll have a Trappist.
Well look at that. Even my Mathilde
would have made that shot.
Things happen.
Will you find your way home?
- Just you find your way to Mathilde.
You be careful just the same.
Sir?
Would you open the door please?
Careful. Hello sir,
what seems to be the problem?
What is your name?
Your name.
- Knops.
Knops. Why are you parked
in the middle of the intersection?
You don't remember?
Have we been drinking?
Yes, of course we have.
Too much to drink, am I right?
Do you have your key, grandad?
I'll take it.
You took my driving licence.
Count yourself lucky
we didn't lock you up.
When can I have it back?
- That's up to the police judge.
What's his name?
- No idea. You jump right into bed.
The carpet, the drapes, the beds,
it's all incombustible.
And stainproof.
Everything can be mopped up.
Hygiene is an absolute priority.
Morning Ren.
Cameras everywhere so we
can detect everything immediately.
If you want top security,
we even have a special bracelet.
It's very easy to wear too.
You can wear it around the wrist
or on a belt, usually the wrist.
It's something like the bracelets
they have at rock festivals.
I just happen to have one on me.
Here it is.
Perhaps we could test it?
- Thanks but no thanks.
We also attach a great deal
of importance to the food.
Monday is minced meat day.
On Tuesdays it's
vol-au-vent with French fries.
Wednesdays it's a cold dish and
on Thursdays we eat spaghetti.
Fridays we eat fish sticks and
on Saturdays cutlets are on the menu.
On Sundays we've got roast turkey.
This is the dining room.
There's an academy nearby and
the students often come to play here.
There's a ballroom dancing
afternoon and one for bingo.
Miss...
Dad, where are you going?
If I have to leave somewhere
feet first,
it'll be from home and nowhere else.
But dad, how can you
want to be anywhere else?
It's so modern
and that manager was so charming.
A two-faced bastard.
- Now why would you say that?
Because it's true.
- I understand. He's still healthy.
That's the point. This is the perfect
place to help him stay healthy.
This is no prison, is it? No one
to meddle in your affairs, no nagging.
And you're taken care of.
You can come and go as you please.
You can play billiards every day
and there'd be people to talk to.
Why don't you move in then?
You're being childish.
Get in the car.
Get in the car, dad.
And a bit of ground cheese, please.
Hi, Master Lucien. I hope the fire
didn't do too much damage?
They want to put me in a rest home.
Over my dead body.
Hand me a can of tomato soup.
What's he saying?
There aren't any rest homes in Turkey.
Parents move in with their children.
Well, Turkey, yes.
That's it?
- Yes, that's it.
That'll be 18 euros.
- Thank you.
Can you put it on my tab? I haven't
had time to rob a bank yet this week.
No problem.
Wait, Mr Lucien
will give you a hand.
Thank you, that's very kind. Bye.
Thank you, madam Sylvia.
Bye, Master Lucien.
Thank you.
You're most kind, Mr Knops.
You must think I'm an old bastard.
No, that's not it. I just don't get
the impression you're looking
to strike up an inspiring conversation
with your new neighbour.
Perhaps we're too different.
Still, I speak Dutch,
I pay my taxes on time
and I'm very clean.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Come in.
Just ignore the mess.
That's a Raveel.
I know nothing about art.
Do you like that?
Are you interested in art?
It's home-made.
- Thank you.
Was that your father
in the rest home?
No, that's my husband.
He has a rare form of Alzheimer's.
Alzheimer's?
I'll hang myself if I get Alzheimer's.
If you can remember
where you left the noose.
Great coffee.
- Thank you.
It's me.
Dammit, Lucien.
One of these days
you'll give me a heart attack.
By the way, could you keep the place
a bit tidier from now on?
It was a pigsty.
Have you been drinking?
Damn drunk. I've got one like that
at home. One is more than enough.
There's someone at the door.
That'll be 375.
- Here you are.
Thank you, Lucien.
Bye madam.
When did you last have a bath?
What kind of a question is that?
So you're going to Paris after all?
That's the general idea, yes.
How did your parents react?
Dad's not against it, but...
mum is. Paris is in a foreign country
and it's so expensive there.
And my scholarship isn't good enough
and this and that.
I really hope she'll let me go.
Your mother shouldn't nag so much.
On the contrary.
She should be proud of her daughter.
Don't worry about money. If money's
an issue, I'll take care of it.
Grandad.
But who will help me
with this machine?
It's really not much harder than your
typewriter and a lot more practical.
You're going to love it, trust me.
You especially.
All those letters you write.
There we are.
Hello Felix.
How bad is it?
Don't hesitate to buzz the nurse.
- I won't.
There's Lucien. Hi Lucien.
You shouldn't have.
- What lovely flowers.
Go get a vase, Felix.
- Yes darling.
Looks like I'll be here for a while
with that leg of mine.
Will you be able to cope?
- I'll have to find someone.
Just to do the cleaning.
You won't cheat on me, will you?
- No.
I'm not saying anything. Not a word.
- Why? She's pretty, isn't she?
You're not telling me
there were no other candidates.
Two Polish ones
but I didn't understand them.
And a Moroccan woman
with a moustache.
I didn't want to understand her.
What about the lady I sent you?
A decent Belgian woman.
She wouldn't work off the books.
Have you worked before?
I used to tend bar in a club.
I'm a dancer actually.
Lucien, I'm out of here, okay?
You won't forget to take the laundry
out of the washer?
What is it this time?
You never really loved me.
Roxanne, can you get two Trappists?
Wow, where did you find her?
Mathilde and Gerda talked about
your maid for over an hour yesterday.
You're joking.
She's mad about older men.
- Really?
Thanks.
- There you go.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Now tell me why you're here.
I brought the order of business
for the general assembly.
I know it by heart, don't I?
Don't forget we have to elect
a new chairman this year.
I've been the only candidate
for thirty years.
I know, but Raymond
is also running this year.
Raymond?
- Yes, Raymond.
Some people live in a fool's paradise.
Mr Knops? I'm Samira.
Pleased to meet you.
Let me get the door for you.
Dear editor-in-chief,
this is going too far.
A fine of five hundred euros and
I don't get my licence back
until I take the driving test again.
There's no justice left in the world.
That's misuse of power,
it's all about the money.
Respect... They don't give a damn
about that anymore nowadays.
Take us, the third and fourth ages.
Do you really think they respect us?
They couldn't care less.
They keep us alive
just so they can test new drugs.
That means more jobs.
We're a valuable economic sector.
Some people make a bundle thanks to
us and that's all that matters nowadays.
A cup of coffee?
- That's all that matters.
A cup of coffee? Why not.
Roxanne?
Okay, the name of the suspect?
Of your so-called housekeeper?
- Roxanne.
Roxanne's last name?
I don't know.
If it isn't our drunken grandad.
What did you do this time?
Grandad got his pension cheque stolen.
It's your own fault. I suppose
you've never heard of a bank?
I'm an old-fashioned guy.
I pay with money, not plastic.
A lot of good it did you.
Are you're sure you didn't
just misplace it and forget about it?
No, it was Roxanne all right.
- Roxanne?
Roxanne with no last name
and no address?
You've really gone off the deep end
since your wife's death, haven't you?
Do you mind my going to Paris?
Paris, Paris.
I've never been to Paris, you know.
I've got it.
Will you miss me?
- Don't be daft.
Dear editor-in-chief,
Why do people always have
to look for happiness elsewhere?
Is it so hard to be happy
in your own country?
Perhaps you can answer
my ever-recurring question.
Yours truly, Lucien Knops.
1.500 euros. That's
a lot of money. It's 2h30.
Maybe you'll be our 10th caller
and win the 1.500 euros.
This is my answering machine.
But be brave and leave
a message after the beep.
This is Julie.
This is an answering machine.
Be brave and leave
a message after the beep.
Well, you were right for once.
I just can't... I can't live alone.
I'm just starting to realise
how much your mother meant to me.
And I can no longer count on Mathilde.
I've decided...
I've decided to sell the house.
I'll check into a rest home
so you can buy that mobile home
and the rest of the money goes
into a savings account, for Julie.
I can't tell you
how happy that makes me.
It's such a relief, it really is.
I couldn't sleep at night.
Don't you worry about a thing.
Guido will take care of the paperwork.
I can't say I'm surprised those fuses
keep blowing at every turn.
This installation probably
dates back to the stone age.
It has to be replaced
as soon as possible. All of it.
All of it?
- All the wires,
from top to bottom.
- Oh no, I just can't afford that.
You can't just leave it, you know.
- Goddammit, just my luck.
I've decided to move...
to that rest home, De Meibloem.
What?
- I know, I know.
I thought you had more backbone.
- So did I, but I was wrong.
Doing the dishes from time to time.
Is that so hard? Or vacuuming?
Or going to the launderette
once a week?
I can't even make French fries
without burning down the house.
Leave the bottle alone then.
- The bottle won't leave me alone.
No, it's... it's the Ioneliness,
I just can't bear it.
At least I'd see other people there.
- Other people?
A dozen people like you have died
on every mattress in that rest home.
Your husband's there, isn't he?
Come on, I'll teach you
how to do your shopping.
Would you like a taste?
This is green tea.
Nice.
Thank you.
First lesson.
What's your favourite dish?
Rabbit in gueuze beer
with powdery potatoes.
That'll be your first lesson then:
Rabbit in gueuze beer.
But I'm replacing the powdery potatoes
with noodles and a salad.
Would you like to be my housekeeper?
- No, thanks.
But you won't need one
when I'm through with you.
I'll teach you the tricks of the trade
and I'm going to make sure
you get the hang of it.
So what'll it be?
Do you want to move to the rest home
to wither and die alone?
Or will you start a new life
as a new man?
Well if it isn't Lucien.
How about that for a coincidence?
What are you doing here?
Sylvia's teaching me how to cook.
- Aren't you going to introduce me?
This is Felix, and Mathilde.
- Nice to meet you.
This is Sylvia.
I thought you were moving to a home.
- So did I, but I was wrong.
I won't be going
to a rest home after all.
Lesson two: How to make corrections
without typing everything twice.
Here, let me show you.
Well look who's here, it's Gerda.
Did she make you change your mind?
- She's called Sylvia.
What's the idea here?
- I'm going to be a new man.
A new man? Really? At your age?
- Yes, at my age.
Then you press this
and you keep it pressed down.
So you're not going to De Meibloem?
- No.
What about her?
- She's my fiance.
You just want to spite me.
- Why would you think that?
Move the mouse over to "Edit",
click and select "Cut".
Cut, yes.
That woman cares about one thing and
one thing only. She's after his money.
You don't know that.
- But I do.
A little bird told me
that she-devil is dirt poor,
and he's a well-to-do widower.
Do I need to spell it out?
Come off it.
He's thirty years older if not a day.
My point exactly.
- There's life in the old dog yet.
You couldn't care less apparently.
Your dad is no fool, you know.
Certainly not when it comes to money.
Not only is he a fool,
he's behaving like the town idiot.
Why do you have it in
for Lucien lately?
It's them I'm worried about.
And Julie.
She's wrapping him around her finger
and she'll run off
with your inheritance in no time.
Mathilde is right and we both know
what he's capable of.
I'd have him inst... I'd have him...
what do you call it?
Institutionalised.
- Now you're really exaggerating.
We have to do something.
Why don't you ask him
to bequest the house to you.
That way you'd even
avoid succession duties.
Save...
as vidange...
perdue.
Enter.
A Trappist?
Say, why do you need a computer?
Sylvia taught me how to type and
she's teaching me to surf the net.
Surfing the internet
all over the world.
Surfing?
- Yes.
Now have a seat, drink that beer
and tell me to what I owe this visit.
No reason, I just dropped by.
- Come on, pull the other one.
I can see there's something
on your mind, so spit it out.
I have nothing against that,
on the contrary.
What do you take me for?
You have nothing against what?
- Well, Sylvia and...
You know what Mathilde's like.
She's goading Gerda.
Really? Why?
They're outraged.
- What do you mean, outraged?
Poor little Astrid hasn't been gone...
and then you...
Oh, well...
That really is an excellent Trappist.
- It's the same as always.
She's not moving in, is she?
- Who, Sylvia?
You nitwit.
- Don't take it the wrong way.
Put yourself in Gerda's shoes.
She's worried about her inheritance.
Surely that's normal?
You go back to your gendarme,
I'm busy.
Can I at least finish my Trappist?
So you're not going
to the variety show then?
Of course I am.
I'm looking for a wife, aren't I?
Mathilde said she really
doesn't feel like it.
That's a first. Normally she looks
forward to those evenings.
I don't know
what's got into her lately.
That's a good one.
Stop it or I'll wet myself.
Will you look at that? It was
a great idea to bring Lucien along.
It takes his mind off things
and that's good, isn't it?
He'd just be bored sitting at home.
Just look at them,
they're all spying on our Don Juan.
It's my leg. Shall we go sit down?
- Sure.
Jurgen Starlight makes the stars
shine in the night.
And the party goes on.
How about an old-fashioned game
of musical chairs?
I need twenty brave people.
Don't be shy now. Get up, get up.
Get up.
Line up here with Jurgen Starlight.
Bastard.
And now you want to kill me.
What do you think?
You said you wouldn't cheat on me.
That woman from just now?
Surely you're not jealous of her.
Don't play stupid with me.
Mathilde? Where are you?
What's wrong, honey?
Would you like to go?
I'm going to have a beer.
Would you rather go home, darling?
Something wrong?
- No, Lucien, nothing's wrong.
I'm just trying to decide
whether to hang or drown myself.
Of course, you could always
jump under a train.
Don't give me any ideas.
Do you want to come inside?
How was your night?
Eventful. Much too eventful.
It ought to be forbidden to grow old.
So you're scared to die.
- Scared...
I don't have enough time left
to be scared.
No, seriously?
What I really don't want
is to get ill.
When I think about what Astrid,
my wife,
had to go through.
She was terribly afraid
to die of cancer. Colon cancer.
She had a friend who'd died of
colon cancer and who'd suffered a lot.
That's why, every day,
Astrid checked her... you know...
her stool.
She had this special wooden spoon
she'd hidden
in a drawer.
She thought I didn't know.
Do you miss her?
Do I miss her?
What do you expect?
We were together for 55 years.
Now can I ask you a tough question?
- Sure.
Why did you put your husband
in a rest home?
I can't take care of him at home.
All in all it's the best solution.
The easiest solution perhaps.
I always took care of my wife at home.
Because you loved her or
to soothe your guilty conscience?
You can't throw people away like an
old glove because it's convenient.
I'm really jealous of your Astrid.
She must have led the life
of a princess at your side.
I'm going home.
Goodnight, Mr Knops.
- Goodnight. Where...
Where did I leave my coat?
- There.
Dismay, anger and incomprehension
at jeans manufacturer Levi Strauss.
At this morning's works council,
management announced the closure
of the plants in Gits, Wervik and
Deurne. 900 people are out of a job.
Shall we make up?
Economic unemployment,
shorter hours reorganisation
and less production.
It was all to no avail.
Too expensive.
Foreign labour's too cheap,
that's the problem.
Did you ever think
of going into politics?
I did run for election once,
for the labour party.
It was the 1958 municipal elections,
the year of the world exhibition.
Excuse me.
Sylvia speaking.
I understand. That's all right.
Don't worry about it.
Get well soon. Bye.
Would you like to go with me?
- Go where?
To the theatre.
- The theatre?
A play by Jan De Corte.
- Is it a comedy?
You decide. I like the playwright.
- So we'd go together.
Together, yes.
You're taking chances.
- You're taking chances with me, too.
The performance is sublime.
The text, the irony...
Jan is a genius, wouldn't you agree?
- Jan who?
God, he's funny.
I'm starting to understand what Sylvia
sees in him. He has a sense of humour.
I bet you're thinking
I have to get out of here
before that strange woman
assaults me. Am I right?
Julien.
Lucien.
It's been a pleasure. Really.
It's been a wonderful evening.
It was great to see you.
- Promise you'll call me.
Bye bye.
I'm glad to have met you.
- Likewise.
Cheerio.
- Bye.
What did you think?
- What a quaint little neighbourhood.
This place is just you.
Come here.
Gilly's right, I'm attracted
to men with a sense of humour.
I really enjoyed your company, Lucien.
Really.
You're not only weird,
you're very weird.
Are you ill?
No.
What's wrong then?
- Nothing.
That's...
- I have to go.
Dear friends, we will now elect
the committee members.
Treasurer, Louis Vermeulen.
All those in favour?
All those against?
Vice chairman, Jean Geysels.
All those in favour?
All those against?
And now the vote
for the chairmanship.
The vote will be in writing at the
request of member Raymond Leemans.
Those are the rules, Lucien.
We have to comply
if a member asks for a secret ballot.
Well that's a first.
Mr Vice Chairman,
please hand out the ballots.
And the final vote is
for Raymond Leemans.
Raymond Leemans
has been elected president
by seven votes to five.
Dear friends,
a big round of applause
for the man who, with a great deal
of dedication and will power,
was our chairman
for no less than 30 years.
And before we continue with the order
of the day, I'd like to propose,
through a special motion, to name
Lucien Knops honorary chairman.
Congratulations, Lucien. Now let's
move on to the order of the day.
Item one is the approval
of the minutes of today's meeting.
Judas.
Collaborator.
Nothing lasts forever, Lucien.
Your Mathilde, do you know...
What about her?
Never mind.
Is that all right?
- Yes, thanks.
It's just for today.
It was nothing serious.
I'd forgotten to take my pills
and that's why this happened.
Lucien, what is going on?
Why are you avoiding me?
- Whatever gave you that idea?
You bark on the phone, you pretend
you're out when I ring your doorbell.
What did I do?
Is it something I said? Tell me.
Lucien, tell me.
- You're cheating on your husband.
You're jealous.
Don't be ridiculous.
You're such a darling,
you really are. Come here.
My sweet Lucien.
She'll think I'm your new fiance.
Just like you think that Alain...
- But it's true, isn't it?
I never cheated on my wife.
No?
- No, never.
Not even a little bit?
- What do you mean?
You're a liar,
but I can understand why you'd lie.
Why do you think I do that?
Because I need a man.
I need his warmth, his body.
Because every now and then I want
to give myself over to a man,
when my instinct tells me
he can give me what I want.
No questions asked and
no strings attached.
Does that make me evil?
Are we still friends?
You're my sweet friend.
Astrid really didn't like it,
the Chinese kitchen.
It disgusted her. She used to say
they mixed rat in their food.
Good old-fashioned Flemish cooking
was all she needed.
Lesson three, add a little soja oil.
- Just a little?
Not too much, Lucien.
I said 'a little oil'. Now stir it.
Let me get that.
Hello. Please come in.
Get him out here.
- He's in the kitchen.
Just get him.
Why did you ring the bell
when you have a key?
Here's your key.
I won't set foot in this house again
and don't come knocking at mine.
You're a bad person.
The things you've done to my mother
and now me, you rotten bastard.
The things you've done to my mother
and me. Listen to yourself.
And Lucien doesn't count, I suppose,
because of what Lucien did
to your mother and you.
It's been like that all my life
and I'm fed up with it.
All the moaning, whining and nagging
and being bossed around all the time.
Lucien do this, do that, don't drink
so much, don't do that to me.
She even blamed me for that
damn cancer that took her mother.
Well you can kiss my ass.
Get out.
If they want a war,
then I'll give them one.
Do you think that's wise?
It's just a misunderstanding.
"DO NOT WASTE MONEY
ON THE OVER 85'S"
Dear editor-in-chief,
That professor Verdoodt claims that
medical treatment for the over 85's
costs loads of money
while being absolutely useless
and should therefore
be done away with.
In my opinion
these ideas completely destroy
the principle of solidarity
our Western society is so proud of.
The elderly who've worked all their
lives and paid social contributions
would no longer have the right
to claim medical care
unless they can pay for it.
That's a rich man's measure.
This is not just a subject
for the papers, but for TV as well.
You hit the nail right on the head,
Lucien. Well said.
Hello, we're from TV. Mr Knops?
Rik.
- Sylvia.
Sorry, let me just...
You can sit next to your father
if you like.
I wouldn't want to distract Lucien.
I'll go wait in the garden.
You wrote an angry letter
to The Laatste Nieuws.
What do you mean shoot?
- What was in the letter?
I think it's not right
that elderly people
who have worked all their lives...
Can you honestly say
you trust those charlatans?
All they're good for is getting
their face on TV.
With all their drivel.
The world is becoming
a decadent place.
He's on a roll now. How did it go?
Fantastic. Very interesting.
Just watch the news tonight.
Mr Knops. Madam. We're off
to interview professor Verdoodt.
It went well, didn't it?
Is that his nurse?
A round for everyone
from the chairman.
Well, the honorary chairman.
I'm so glad you dropped by Lucien.
This is the chap who unseated me.
Unseated... nothing lasts forever,
Lucien.
Am I right, madam?
- Sylvia, pleased to meet you.
You were chairman for thirty years.
How's your health?
Couldn't be better.
- I'll take your word for it.
Sylvia, wait. Like this.
Back up a bit more.
Stay calm and try to relax.
Put your hand here.
Max, turn on the TV, will you?
Yes, I'm going to be on the news.
You, on the news?
- They came to interview me.
You'll be a celebrity then?
I gave them a piece of my mind.
They thought it went well.
They congratulated me.
They were at my place all afternoon.
I must say they were really impressed.
Stop refunding the medical
expenses for the over 85's.
It's useless to invest in health
insurance schemes for the over 85's.
That's a remarkable theory,
professor.
Perhaps, but the future of our
health insurance is bleak.
The increase of the ageing
population is making it expensive.
Reactions from the various sectors.
This guy has benefitted
from society all his life.
He has executed lengthy studies
at the expense of society
and now as a professor
he's getting rich on fees.
Those involved are also outraged,
like pensioner Lucien Knops.
The common man is left in the cold
and the rich can afford
better doctors.
You really told them, Julien.
At least you have an opinion.
And that's important, right?
I think he did a good job.
- Very good.
A round for everyone, publican.
Here, Lucien. Have a cigar.
- Thanks but no thanks.
I have an idea. Let's go out tonight,
just the two of us.
What did I tell you? I knew I had
booze in the house somewhere.
You've got to taste this.
Everything changes,
but not for the better.
Take that thing, for example,
what it's called, that emile.
You mean e-mail.
- Well, take that e-mail.
You don't count anymore
if you don't have it.
Pretty soon we won't even need
the postman anymore.
But I can tell you I'm not done yet.
Far from it, as a matter of fact.
If it's true there's a heaven
up there in the sky,
that we'll all meet again
in the next world,
then they'll just
have to hold my seat.
To be honest, there aren't
many people I'd like to see again.
No one in fact.
What about me?
- Except for you.
And even then.
Voulez-vous danser, Madame?
- Bien sr, Monsieur.
Lesson four, breakfast la Knops.
Would you like coffee or tea?
I also have
freshly pressed orange juice.
That's so sweet of you.
It's been a long time since anyone...
thank you.
Omelette faon mditerrane.
Bon appetit.
- Bon appetit.
I'm sorry. It's a very hot
omelette mditerrane.
Have a sip.
About last night...
What happened last night... Let's
not make more of it than it was.
My instinct tells me we're better off
being really close friends.
Thank you, Lucien.
It was very good
- You haven't tasted it yet.
Bon appetit.
- Bon appetit.
This is great.
This is my answering machine.
Be brave and leave a message
after the beep.
This is Julie. This is
an answering machine.
Be brave and leave
a message after the beep.
Julie, it's me, it's grandad.
I never seem to catch you at home.
Mind you, that's a good sign.
Studying by day and having
fun in the evenings. Keep it up.
I'm proud of my granddaughter.
There you go. We're home.
Your jacket.
Flowers.
Grandad? What are you doing here?
I told you I'd never been
to Paris before. Well, here I am.
I've sold the house, I've given
your mother a mobile home
and I don't know yet what I'm going
to do with the rest of it.
What are you up to, grandad?
- Oh, I don't know yet.
Perhaps I'll make a trip
around the world.
Who knows,
I might even end up a tramp.
And... what's in the box?
Have a look.
- Is it for me?
Grandad, what gave you that idea?
If you live alone you should
at least have a deep fryer.
And you can't set it on fire.
Wait, before I forget...
Belgian potatoes, Belgian mayonnaise
and Belgian frying fat.
We'll eat French fries first
and then you can show me Paris.
Grandad.