Waking Madison (2010) Movie Script
If you're watching this right now,
it's because you've forgotten,
why you've locked yourself
in your apartment.
You've given yourself 30 days,
to figure out why you're so messed up.
Your phone's been turned off.
You don't have shit.
You don't have friends.
You don't have a job.
This is your last chance.
'Cause I swear to God,
if things don't change
in these next 30 days...
...I will kill myself.
# I don't need a laser beam #
# I don't need the time #
# Leave me in the car tonight #
# Rest your drunken mind #
# I need your grace #
# Alone #
Madison.
Madison, wake up.
Madison, can you hear me?
I'm Dr. Barnes.
Can I have some water?
Can you tell me your full name?
Madison Walker.
Do you know what month it is?
June?
July?
Have you ever been treated
for any type for of mental illness?
I take medication.
And what do you
take medication for?
I don't know.
You don't know
what you take medication for,
or you were never told
what the medication was for?
I don't understand the question.
When can I go home?
Are you having
any suicidal thoughts now?
No.
Can you tell me
what happened last night?
I don't remember.
Well, if you don't remember,
then how do you know that you
didn't try to take your life?
Because I know I wouldn't do that.
Have you ever spent any time
in a psychiatric hospital?
No.
Would you ever consider
checking yourself in to one?
No.
I have that book.
Excuse me?
I'm gonna give you my number,
and, uh, I want you to call me
if you need anything.
My mom burned them all.
Burned what?
My notebooks.
But I hid one so she couldn't find it.
Why did you hide that one
and not the others?
Because I needed you to find it.
Uh, I was sitting up front
in his station wagon,
and he had these, um,
red plastic seat covers.
It made a noise when he moved.
And there was, like, um, a plastic...
Jesus figurine on the dashboard.
Why were you alone
in the car with him?
Uh, well, it was like, um...
like a field trip to the... to the zoo,
and, uh... and the bus
was all filled up,
so, um, I rode with him in the car.
What happened... in the car?
It's okay. You can tell me.
It's okay.
Um...
He kissed me.
Did he try to...
touch you, or...
Why didn't you tell your parents
what happened?
Um...
I told my mom.
And what did she say?
Um... She didn't believe me.
How could she not believe you?
She said that, uh, a man of God
would never do something like that.
What do you mean, "a man of God"?
Um, he was our priest.
Okay, so, I guess
you just fell on that razor.
Uh-huh.
You know what your problem is?
You're too fucking white.
You see, Black people...
we don't let shit get to us.
I mean, seriously,
that's why you don't see Black girls
up in the loony bin.
Because we don't let shit bother us.
We don't give a fuck.
What are you waving at
with that tired-ass...
- I'm not interested.
- I'm not selling.
Glad we got that straight.
You know, tell me something,
beautiful.
I bet you like to get fucked
really hard, hmm?
Tell Daddy what you like.
Uh, since when do you smoke?
What... what the hell
is your problem?
Hello?
Mm.
Where were we?
Put your hands around my throat.
What?
Oh.
Harder.
Yeah. Yeah, you like that?
Choke me.
Choke me. Choke me.
Please stop.
You like getting fucked.
Please stop. Please.
I know what you want me to say.
What do you think
I want you to say?
That they took advantage of me
because I was only 13.
Well, do you think
they took advantage of you?
No.
They got you drunk with the intention
of having sex with you.
Look, they've been married
for, like, 100 years.
They needed something
to spice it up.
Did you have any feelings for...
either one of them?
I liked him better.
And where is he now?
He killed himself.
What do you want?
Your rent.
You're like a week late.
It's due on the 1st.
Today is the 9th, sweetheart.
I'll have it tomorrow.
No, you...
Tomorrow's too late, sweetheart.
Open the door.
Tomorrow's too late.
But, now, if you wanted
to do some trading
like we did back in March...
I'll work with you.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You have my money by tomorrow
morning or you're out of here.
Margaret,
we can't keep doing this.
I can.
Why do you want to?
'Cause.
'Cause why?
Because I'd rather slit my wrist
or be fucking hung upside down
and beaten to a pulp
than have to talk to you.
You're angry.
No.
Don't start that psychological shit.
You really don't like me, do you?
Beth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's not that...
that I don't like you.
I fucking hate you.
Why?
"Why?" "Why?"
Because people that are scared
make me sick.
You think that I'm scared?
I don't know, Beth.
Are you scared?
Hmm? What happened to you?
Tell me.
You gonna say
any-fucking-thing? No?
No, I can play that game, too.
Cool.
I'll go back to bed.
# Before each other's face #
# Look into my eyes #
# Is it still there? #
# All that time #
Maddie?
Hi, Dad.
A friend of yours, Greg Hicks,
got married last week.
Did you hear?
No.
Yeah.
They had the wedding
over at the Episcopal church
on, uh, Fitz Morris street.
Hurricane knocked down everything
on that street except that church.
Is everything all right with you?
Yeah, same as usual.
That's good. That's good.
You need money?
Dad, I didn't come here
to ask you for money.
Well, I know you didn't.
I just... but it's okay if you...
if you need it.
I don't know how much I can give,
'cause your mother's insurance
got pulled again.
Who's there, Steven?
Tell me I'm not dreaming.
Hi, Mom.
My angel's come home!
Look at you!
Look how long your hair is!
Steven, why didn't you come
and tell me my little angel was here?
Well, I thought you were sleeping.
Sleep? Who has time for sleep?
Steven, did you get her some food?
Well, I... I didn't think
that she wanted any.
Yeah, no, I'm... I'm not hungry.
Oh, nonsense.
You sit right here,
and daddy will get you some food.
You are skinny as a scarecrow!
Daddy said you're doing
some telemarketing.
How is that going?
Uh, it's fine.
Oh, Maddie, please tell me
you're not still living
in that awful French Quarter.
I am still living
in that awful French Quarter.
Someone like you should not be
living in a place like that.
It's enough to tempt anyone.
- Is that meat?
- Uh-huh.
I don't feel like red meat.
My blood is thick today.
It needs poultry.
Want me to make you some chicken?
It's not very attractive
being so skinny, Maddie.
It makes your face sink in.
A woman should be soft and round,
the way God made her.
Mmm!
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mmm. Meat, yes.
Tell him everyone that you love.
Dear God, I love my mama,
my daddy, my uncle Pete.
Tell God you love His only son,
our Lord Jesus Christ.
Dear God, I love your only son,
Jesus Christ.
Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Tell Him to forgive you
for the sins you have committed.
What sins, Mama?
Tell Him your sins.
But I haven't sinned.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
Watch over my daughter, and
cleanse her of her wrong doings.
Put your hand on the Bible
and swear your life over
to Jesus Christ.
- I don't want to.
- Do it.
I swear my life over
to Jesus Christ.
I would have put
fresh sheets on the bed
had I known you were coming.
It's okay. I'm not staying.
Why not?
Because I have my own place.
You're being tempted living
in that awful French Quarter.
Oh, God, Mother, don't start.
You want to spend your days
in eternal hell?
As long as you're not there.
Listen to the filth
coming out of your mouth.
What has happened to you?
I wonder.
You're a heathen! Look at you!
I can see it in your eyes.
He's robbed your soul!
Dolly, come to bed now.
I can see it in her eyes, Steven!
She's got him crawling all over her!
Listen to how she speaks to me!
It's all right.
You just go on to bed.
Go on to bed. It's all right.
It's all right.
She's sick, honey.
She doesn't mean it.
You're still making excuses for her?
I'm not making excuses.
You're defending her.
Well, she loves you.
She thinks I'm Satan.
Oh, that's just...
that's just her sickness talking.
She doesn't really think that.
Well, she needs medication!
Just look... just...
Sweetheart, just...
Hey, keep your voice down.
Dad, why are you still
protecting her?
Well, I'm not protecting her, I...
Yeah.
Whatever.
Please, sweetheart...
Just, Maddie,
please stay the night.
We never get to see you.
I have work tomorrow.
Mama?!
Mama?!
Mama! Please!
I didn't do anything wrong!
Please don't leave me in here!
I didn't do anything wrong!
Okay, and here,
we'll just, once again,
use the little crisscross strokes.
That's a nice little gray sky there.
So, tell you what...
let's take some of that same color...
Just the black and the blue.
That's all we need.
Come on.
You know you want it.
You can add more of the black.
You can gray it down
or leave it brighter.
Dang! 89!
Lexy, shut up!
- Grace Matthews.
- Margaret.
Be right back.
Margaret, don't...
don't give me evil stares.
Margaret Jones.
Alexis, Grace, Margaret,
I have a very exciting project
I want to talk to you about.
Can you please all come
to the meeting area?
Alexis, shut up!
Just for about 10 minutes.
Um, I was watching that.
Sorry.
Grace, could you please
come over here?
Elizabeth! I was watching that.
Alexis!
Elizabeth, I'm...
I'm playing a game.
Alexis!
Okay.
I have three video cameras.
I want you to use these
to express yourselves...
any thoughts or feelings
that you may have.
Like a... like a diary?
Yes, like a diary.
Could you please cross your legs?
Thank you.
Here's your camera.
Here you go.
I don't have any thoughts.
I don't have any thoughts.
I don't have any memories.
I was watching the fucking TV.
I'm sure you'll think of something.
That is not okay.
That's inappropriate.
Pick that up, Margaret, now.
Margaret, pick it up,
'cause that's very inappropriate.
Pick it up.
Margaret, pick it up.
Pick it up. Pick it up.
Take the camera, Margaret.
I don't want to do this project
with any of you guys!
All right, that is not okay.
That is not okay. Sit down!
It is okay, okay?!
Get out of my seat!
It's not necessary, really.
She's fine.
Sit down.
I'll be waiting for you, sweetheart.
Shh. Shh.
Shh. It's okay. It's okay.
Ow.
How long have you been
having these blackouts
that you keep talking about?
Since I was 12... or 13.
And what's the longest
you've ever blacked out?
Two months.
Two months?
What happened?
I... woke up...
In New York on a subway.
And do you know
how you got there?
No, I don't remember anything.
And how do you know that you were
in New York for two months?
Um, because I found
a bus ticket in my bag
that said it was
from New Orleans to New York.
It must be really scary
to not be able to remember.
I can deal with it.
Why do you think you have to deal
with everything all by yourself?
Do you think I'm crazy?
I think you should
check yourself in to the hospital.
This is the first time in 13 years...
that I haven't taken medication.
I don't know...
I don't know
what's really happening. Uh...
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I know that...
I know that you can hear me.
I'm in my apartment right now...
And, uh... and...
I don't...
I don't really remember...
much of, like, where I've...
where I've been
and what I've been doing,
and, uh...
It's kind of a scary feeling.
The first time I tried to kill myself,
I was, uh, 13,
and my mom had
these crowns of thorns.
Um, and she had this particular one
that was really special to her.
And... and so I put that one
on my head.
And I cut my wrists and my ankles,
and I laid down on the floor
so that I was beautiful and peaceful,
just like Jesus.
And, um... and I thought
when she found me,
she'd be really happy,
because she loves Him so much.
Um, and then she...
she came into the room
and she saw me lying there.
And, um...
And she was really mad.
And... and that's when I knew
that she'd never...
never love me
as much as she loves Jesus.
The first time
I tried to commit suicide,
I was 16.
I got pregnant
and had to have an abortion.
I didn't have any money,
and I couldn't tell my parents,
so I had to have it done by this guy
who said he could do it real cheap.
But he messed up,
and now I can't have kids.
So, uh, here, Elizabeth.
Here's a little thought for you.
Every time you walk into the room...
I want to take your fucking face
and smash it against the ground.
Margaret, what are you doing?
- What are you doing? That is...
- Ahh!
This is not funny.
Fucker!
Why don't you let me do it?!
I have no... no concept of...
of time or what time is.
I don't understand it.
I mean, is it even real?
Because I don't remember...
I don't remember so many things.
What's your magical power
going to be?
I don't want one.
But you have to.
Come on, just pick one.
I want to be invisible.
But if you're invisible,
then I can't see you.
And if I can't see you,
we can't be friends.
We're friends?
Madison!
Madison, where are you?!
I have to go.
You don't have to go.
We can hide here.
She won't find us.
Madison Ann Walker,
I'm going to count to three!
Madison?
Huh?
Where were you just now?
Madison.
What?
Come sit down.
Why can't you look at me?
I don't know.
Well, if you ever feel uncomfortable,
you tell me, and we'll fix it.
Why are you being so nice to me?
Hasn't anyone ever been
nice to you?
We'll just, once again,
use the little crisscross strokes.
You can add more of the black.
You can gray it down
or leave it brighter.
It all depends on you.
You want to paint my nails for me?
Is it... is it at all possible
that you can not be a skank
for one second
when I'm watching my show?
No.
Get off my fucking couch.
Make me.
Yeah?
Margaret, come get your meds.
Just, once again,
use a little crisscross stroke.
- Bitch.
- Mm-hmm.
Checkmate.
Checkmate.
Checkmate. Checkmate.
Checkmate, checkmate,
checkmate! Aaaaaah!
Aah! Aaaaaah!
Checkmate.
Psst!
She can't help you.
Your precious doctor...
That isn't even a doctor.
She's just gonna make you worse.
And what makes you the expert?
Well, I've been here the longest.
I can see why.
You're gonna need me.
How's that?
- Leave her alone, Margaret.
- Shut up! You'll be the first to go.
You don't scare me.
I bet I can.
Aaaaaaaaaahh!
Aah! Stop it, Margaret!
Leave me alone!
Please leave me alone!
Let me go!
No! No! No! Aah!
Margaret, give it back!
Margaret, give it back! Stop it!
I don't think anybody
knows me anymore.
I'm... I'm a stranger...
I'm a stranger to everyone, and I'm...
I'm a stranger to myself.
Margaret, you're not meant
to be in my room.
Go now.
You're not meant to be in here.
You know that she's gonna...
watch those tapes and use them
to keep you locked in here, right?
Margaret, can you...
can you go now?
What? You think she cares?
Can you please stop this
and leave me alone?
Can you... can you go now,
please, Margaret?
Margaret, please, can you go now?
Please leave me alone.
Otherwise, I'm gonna tell.
I'll tell. I will. You know I will.
If you tell, then...
Then you're gonna go
where all the bad girls go.
No. No.
Because I'm not bad, Margaret.
You are very bad.
No, I'm not. I'm not bad.
- You're bad.
- Shh. Shh.
You're the one who's bad,
Margaret, not me.
I'm not... I'm not bad.
I want to talk.
No, please, I'm...
Just leave me alone, please.
Hey...
Tell me what that holy man
did to you in the car.
Margaret,
please leave me alone now.
Did he make you feel good?
- No. Please.
- Come on. Show me.
- No, please. I don't want to.
- Show me what he did.
Please, can you
leave me alone now?
- Did he make you feel good?
- Please, no, leave me alone.
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did.
No! No!
- Margaret, no!
- Shh!
Please get rid of her.
She's ruining everything.
Stop freaking out.
She's just crying, all right?
All right, all right.
I'll go, I'll go.
Whoo!
Uh...
Everything's really blurry.
Time's blurry.
My vision's blurry.
Alexis, you want to play unicorns?!
I'll play unicorns with you!
Elizabeth!
The sun turned black
from the face of the Lord,
and it turned black!
It turned black, the sun.
How can the sun turn black?!
The sun!
Yes, Mom!
I never do anything right.
I thought that you liked that.
# Can anybody hear me? #
Alexis, want to come play now,
you stupid ass?!
Come play in here!
You really enjoy
this circus act, don't you?
Why don't you just die?
I asked you not to go
into Alexis' room.
And I watched as the sixth seal,
and there was
a great, big earthquake,
and the sun turned to black,
like sackcloth made of goat hair.
Is that Revelation?
Did I ever tell you how my mom
used to put me in the closet
with the Bible every night
and make me memorize verses?
And you want to know
what would happen if I didn't?
Well?
This is what you want,
right, Elizabeth?
You want me to tell you
all of my problems...
so we don't have to talk about
what happened in your closet.
You know I know.
And that's why you hate me.
I don't hate you.
I don't even remember...
I don't even remember
what I was like on medication.
So, I mean, was I even a person?
Maybe I wasn't even real.
I mean, if you... if you don't...
if you're not yourself, right,
I mean, then what...
what's the point?
Like, I mean, what...
If you don't remember, I mean,
you're not really real.
Hey.
Can I come in?
Do you want a cigarette?
I don't smoke.
Well, you might as well.
There's nothing else
to do around here.
You know, I can get you
whatever you want.
What do you think I want?
Money...
Sex...
Fun...
You want to get high?
Are you insane?
You know Mike, Mr. Nurse man?
See, I blow him...
And he gives me whatever I want.
Trust me.
I'm on your side.
What?
I said...
I'm the one that's on your side.
The others don't give a shit
about you.
The others?
They're the ones that aren't real.
I...
How do I know you're real?
I'm here, aren't I?
Everything okay?
It's finished if you want to buy it.
Amazing, isn't it?
When you start to see yourself
in everything?
Huh?
I said are you sure you're okay?
Uh, yeah, I'm okay.
It'll come around for you soon,
Madison.
Madison.
Madison.
Hello?
Hello?!
Let me go!
Please stop.
Please.
Make it stop!
Please make it stop!
It's for your own good.
But, Mama,
I didn't do anything wrong.
You're talking to people
who aren't there.
It's the work of Satan.
But no one's there, Mama.
Come put your hands over the sink.
No, Mama.
Come put your hands
over the sink.
Please, Mama.
Put your hands over the sink!
What happened?
It hurts.
What hurts?
- Please, it really burns.
- What?
It hurts. The water... it's so hot.
There's no water.
- There is. Please make it stop.
- No, there's no water.
- Please make it stop.
- What's wrong?
I have to burn.
I have to burn because I'm bad.
- Who said that?
- I have to burn.
- Who said that?
- I'm going to hell.
You're not going to hell.
- I am.
- No, you're not. No.
I am. I'm going to hell.
No, you're not going to hell.
- I am.
- No.
Good people do not go to hell.
Do you know what I do
when I have scary thoughts?
What?
I close my eyes...
and I think of the happiest place
I know.
But... but I don't have
any happy places.
Everything's crashing on me...
Like waves. It's like tidal waves.
I feel like I'm drowning.
Our Father...
Who art in heaven...
Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come...
Madison, Madison,
come and play with me.
I can't.
See, you're talking again
to imaginary people.
But, Mama, she's right there.
Madison, come on.
Let's play.
Will you tell me more
about the little girl?
No.
Why don't you want
to talk about her?
I just... I just...
I, uh... can... can we talk
about something else?
What is it about her that makes you
feel so uncomfortable?
I'm not supposed to talk
about the little girl.
Why? Why aren't you supposed
to talk about the little girl?
'Cause she'll get mad at me.
Who?
Who's gonna get mad at you?
Please don't make me talk about it.
Madison.
Madison.
Madison.
My name isn't Madison,
you fucking bitch.
You push too hard
with your stupid little questions.
You're trying to break her.
I can feel it.
I'm trying to help you.
You're trying to help me?
I don't need help.
You need help.
Aah!
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no.
What's wrong?
What's going on?
- Stop it.
- What?
I can't talk to you.
Why?
Because she's gonna get mad at me.
Who's gonna get mad at you?
She's gonna hurt me if I tell.
Nobody's gonna get mad at you.
Madison, it's all right.
What are you doing?
What just happened?
It's okay. You're gonna be okay.
- No, I'm not gonna be okay.
- Yes, you are.
This is not okay,
because you're making me worse,
- And I really don't want to...
- You're gonna be okay.
It's not okay.
You're making me worse.
I know this is really hard.
You know what's fucking hard?
You know what's hard, Beth?
Is that I don't know
what you're talking about.
That's good. That's good.
You're getting angry.
That's really good.
When is the last time
you remember getting angry?
You never needed
to get angry before
because there was somebody else
who was always
getting angry for you.
- What are you saying?
- Somebody was protecting you.
- God, I knew this would happen.
- What would happen?
That I would trust you,
and you would screw me over.
Madison, look at me.
No, I can help you.
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name.
Look at me! Madison!
Are you deaf, you bitch?!
I said, "Don't say my name. "
Why can't you just
leave it alone, Beth?
What? Do you think I'm deaf?
You think I don't hear
what you say about me?
I'm trying to help you.
Shut up.
You called me,
and I came here to help you.
I didn't call you.
I...
I hate you.
She called you.
She's gonna die.
She is gonna die.
You're gonna die.
Stop.
She isn't real.
She isn't real.
I'm real.
She isn't real.
Real.
It's okay.
Just fucking stop.
Madison, let me be there for you.
Just let me be here.
Come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
- It's okay.
- I don't...
It's okay.
"What is real?",
asked the rabbit.
"Real isn't how you're made,"
said the skin horse.
"It's a thing that happens to you. "
- My turn?
- Go ahead.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes.
When you are real,
you don't mind being hurt. "
"Does it happen all at once?"
"It doesn't happen all at once.
You become.
It takes a long time.
That's why it doesn't often happen
to people who break easily,
or who have sharp edges,
or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally...
By the time you are real,
most of your hair
has been loved off,
and your eyes drop out,
and you get loose in the joints
and very shabby.
But these things don't matter at all,
because once you are real,
you can't be ugly,
except to people
who don't understand. "
- Mama?
- Yes, Maddie?
Am I real?
I get a lot of requests
from people wanting to do...
Checkmate.
So I thought today...
Hey, Madison.
Madison?
Madison, what's wrong?
What do you want, Alexis?
You want to come play with me?
Nope.
Why? What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You always say nothing's wrong
when something is always wrong.
Why don't you come play with me?
Come on.
Just one game.
- Do you see those people right there?
- Yeah.
They look like
they're having a lot of fun.
I think you should go play with them.
No, I want to play with you.
Checkmate!
Okay, okay.
Well, um, uh, we can play...
Yeah?
- Hide and go seek.
- Okay.
All right, so you're gonna go hide.
No, we did that the other day,
and you didn't come and find me.
Madison, you didn't come.
I've got a better idea.
Why don't we go play horses?
Come on. We can ride horses,
like we always used to ride horses.
- We can ride horses.
- No, there's no horses here.
What are you talking about?
We used to always ride horses.
Yeah, well, we're
in a hospital right now,
and I've never been on a horse
in my entire life.
Do you not remember?
Do you not remember
all those times we played horses?
- Please stop.
- Why are you being so weird?
- Please stop. Please stop.
- Come on, one game, Madison.
Why are you being so weird?
You don't remember anything?
What do you mean you don't
remember?! You do remember!
We used to always
play horses together!
- Please stop.
- You do remember!
- Stop it.
- You do! You do!
Shut the fuck up,
or I'm gonna smash your head
against that wall, okay?!
- You say the F-word all the time.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Stop saying the F-word
the whole time!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Go back to your couch!
Do... do I see a little bit
of personality in you?
Oh, yeah?
A little personality right there?
Yeah, yeah. Fine.
Come on, tough girl.
Come on, tough girl!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Oh, yeah.
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Fuck you!
Good job.
Bitches.
Madison, you did it.
You did it.
Don't tell Margaret.
Madison!
Madison, where are you?!
Madison!
You want to spend
your days in eternal hell?
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Well, I was sitting
in the front in his station wagon,
and he had, like, um,
these red plastic seat covers.
And it made a noise when he moved.
Um, and there was a plastic
Jesus figurine on the dashboard.
I know what you want me to say.
What is it that you
think I want you to say?
That they took advantage of me
because I was only 13.
I would rather slit my wrist...
or be fucking hung upside down
and beaten to a pulp
than have to talk to you.
Madison.
You are Grace...
and you are Margaret...
and you are Alexis.
They're all you.
No, because I didn't...
I didn't say these things.
Um...
And I know that they're real,
because I've...
I've talked to them and...
and I've talked to you about them.
And... you've talked to them...
Right?
I've only talked to you.
I've only talked to you.
I don't know what's going on.
Where are you going?
Can you take me with you?
Nope.
Why?
Because you...
Are gonna stay here.
But I want to be with you.
Well, you know, that's too bad,
because you're not coming.
But I want to stay with you.
Alexis, don't cry.
Please, please don't cry.
But... but why can't I come?
Why?
- Because I said so.
- But why?
Shh!
Why?
Because you're not real.
If you're watching this right now...
it's because you've forgotten
why you've locked yourself
in your apartment.
You've given yourself 30 days
to figure out
why you're so messed up.
Your phone's been turned off.
You don't have shit.
You don't have friends.
You don't have a job.
This is your last chance.
'Cause I swear to God,
if things don't change
in these next 30 days...
I will kill myself.
Hello?
Dr. Barnes?
Yes?
Madison is gonna die tonight.
Who is this?
Her friend.
Where's Madison?
Mama?!
Mama?!
Mama!
Are you Mr. Walker?
Yeah.
I'm a friend of Madison's.
Please come inside.
She ain't no doctor.
Can't you see she's got
the devil all over her?
She's got him coming out
of her mouth, Steven.
Look at how she's looking at me.
The Lord gives me His eyes,
and I see through
your wicked games.
Dolly...
Dolly, go on to your room.
Let me talk to her.
I'll take care of it.
I pray for your soul.
I'm sorry about that.
Some days are worse than others.
Are you sure you don't want
anything to eat?
I'm not hungry.
Well, why don't you have a seat?
Now...
What was it that you were saying
about Madison?
Madison checked herself
out of the hospital,
and, um, I'm really worried
that she might hurt herself.
Do you know where she is?
No, but, uh, you... you...
I think that you should
just stay right here until...
Until she comes around.
Do you mind if I ask you
a-a few questions?
Please, yes, do.
Did you know what was going on...
between Madison and her mother
when Madison was young?
Well, now...
I don't know what you, uh...
I don't know what you mean...
what you mean.
Did you travel a lot
when she was young?
Yeah, I did, I did.
Quite a bit.
And you weren't curious...
about all the trips to the hospital...
while you were gone?
Um...
Hospital... hospital trips.
That's, um...
Well, if you're gonna pretend
that you don't know what happened,
then it's not gonna help her.
And I think that you should... tell her.
What should I say?
That you're sorry.
Can we read that part again?
Which part?
The part about being real.
"What is real?", asked the rabbit.
"Real isn't how you're made,"
said the skin horse.
"It's a thing that happens to you. "
- My turn?
- Go ahead.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes.
When you are real,
you don't mind being hurt. "
I love my daughter.
I love her very much.
I know.
It's not worth playing
into her games like that.
What about it?
I have enabled her.
We know better.
We know better, Steven.
I just... it's just...
it's so hard for me, okay?
This is a dangerous situation, Steven.
I can't talk about it
anymore, darling.
I just can't talk about it anymore.
L-I know how difficult
this has been for all of us.
And your daughter is... is...
is, uh...
is...
Sweetheart, sweetheart...
You...
are...
our daughter.
I'm...
You understand?
- No.
- You understand?
You are.
You are.
Oh.
It's a little hard
for us to understand...
but...
Maddie, we'd like to help you
if we can.
Madison?
Yeah?
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
You should have told me.
I should have told you what?
That you weren't real.
I'm as real as you are.
And the others?
They real?
I don't care about the others.
I've only cared about you.
So, what happens now?
We say good-bye.
No. No good-byes, no good-byes.
Yeah.
It's time.
You're gonna be okay on your own.
You will.
You will.
# Wipe those tears #
# Away from your eyes #
# Just take my hand #
# You don't have to cry #
# It'll be all right #
# Baby #
# I'll make it all right #
# Don't let the world #
# Get you down #
# Reach for the love
that's all around #
# It'll be all right #
# Baby #
# We'll make it all right #
# I'll pick you up
when you're feeling down #
# I'll put your feet
back on solid ground #
# I'll pick you up,
and I'll make you strong #
# I'll make you feel
like you still belong #
# 'Cause it's all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Sometimes the words,
well, they're just not enough #
# Afraid of feeling
and in need of love #
# To make it all right #
# Baby #
# I'll make it all right #
# Where will you run to,
and where will you hide? #
# I know the pain comes
from deep down inside #
# But it'll be all right #
# Baby #
# I'll make it all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Make it all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Make it all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Stay with me tonight #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# It's all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# I'll pick you up
when you're feeling down #
# I'll put your feet back
on solid ground #
# I'll pick you up,
and I'll make you strong #
# Make you feel
like you still belong #
# And it's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Make it all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Don't let the world #
# Get you down #
# Reach for the love
that's all around #
# It's gonna be all right #
# Baby #
# It's gonna be all right #
# Wipe those tears #
# Away from your eyes #
# Just take my hand #
# You don't have to cry #
# It's all right #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# Gonna make it all right #
# Mm-mm #
# Stay with me tonight #
it's because you've forgotten,
why you've locked yourself
in your apartment.
You've given yourself 30 days,
to figure out why you're so messed up.
Your phone's been turned off.
You don't have shit.
You don't have friends.
You don't have a job.
This is your last chance.
'Cause I swear to God,
if things don't change
in these next 30 days...
...I will kill myself.
# I don't need a laser beam #
# I don't need the time #
# Leave me in the car tonight #
# Rest your drunken mind #
# I need your grace #
# Alone #
Madison.
Madison, wake up.
Madison, can you hear me?
I'm Dr. Barnes.
Can I have some water?
Can you tell me your full name?
Madison Walker.
Do you know what month it is?
June?
July?
Have you ever been treated
for any type for of mental illness?
I take medication.
And what do you
take medication for?
I don't know.
You don't know
what you take medication for,
or you were never told
what the medication was for?
I don't understand the question.
When can I go home?
Are you having
any suicidal thoughts now?
No.
Can you tell me
what happened last night?
I don't remember.
Well, if you don't remember,
then how do you know that you
didn't try to take your life?
Because I know I wouldn't do that.
Have you ever spent any time
in a psychiatric hospital?
No.
Would you ever consider
checking yourself in to one?
No.
I have that book.
Excuse me?
I'm gonna give you my number,
and, uh, I want you to call me
if you need anything.
My mom burned them all.
Burned what?
My notebooks.
But I hid one so she couldn't find it.
Why did you hide that one
and not the others?
Because I needed you to find it.
Uh, I was sitting up front
in his station wagon,
and he had these, um,
red plastic seat covers.
It made a noise when he moved.
And there was, like, um, a plastic...
Jesus figurine on the dashboard.
Why were you alone
in the car with him?
Uh, well, it was like, um...
like a field trip to the... to the zoo,
and, uh... and the bus
was all filled up,
so, um, I rode with him in the car.
What happened... in the car?
It's okay. You can tell me.
It's okay.
Um...
He kissed me.
Did he try to...
touch you, or...
Why didn't you tell your parents
what happened?
Um...
I told my mom.
And what did she say?
Um... She didn't believe me.
How could she not believe you?
She said that, uh, a man of God
would never do something like that.
What do you mean, "a man of God"?
Um, he was our priest.
Okay, so, I guess
you just fell on that razor.
Uh-huh.
You know what your problem is?
You're too fucking white.
You see, Black people...
we don't let shit get to us.
I mean, seriously,
that's why you don't see Black girls
up in the loony bin.
Because we don't let shit bother us.
We don't give a fuck.
What are you waving at
with that tired-ass...
- I'm not interested.
- I'm not selling.
Glad we got that straight.
You know, tell me something,
beautiful.
I bet you like to get fucked
really hard, hmm?
Tell Daddy what you like.
Uh, since when do you smoke?
What... what the hell
is your problem?
Hello?
Mm.
Where were we?
Put your hands around my throat.
What?
Oh.
Harder.
Yeah. Yeah, you like that?
Choke me.
Choke me. Choke me.
Please stop.
You like getting fucked.
Please stop. Please.
I know what you want me to say.
What do you think
I want you to say?
That they took advantage of me
because I was only 13.
Well, do you think
they took advantage of you?
No.
They got you drunk with the intention
of having sex with you.
Look, they've been married
for, like, 100 years.
They needed something
to spice it up.
Did you have any feelings for...
either one of them?
I liked him better.
And where is he now?
He killed himself.
What do you want?
Your rent.
You're like a week late.
It's due on the 1st.
Today is the 9th, sweetheart.
I'll have it tomorrow.
No, you...
Tomorrow's too late, sweetheart.
Open the door.
Tomorrow's too late.
But, now, if you wanted
to do some trading
like we did back in March...
I'll work with you.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You have my money by tomorrow
morning or you're out of here.
Margaret,
we can't keep doing this.
I can.
Why do you want to?
'Cause.
'Cause why?
Because I'd rather slit my wrist
or be fucking hung upside down
and beaten to a pulp
than have to talk to you.
You're angry.
No.
Don't start that psychological shit.
You really don't like me, do you?
Beth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's not that...
that I don't like you.
I fucking hate you.
Why?
"Why?" "Why?"
Because people that are scared
make me sick.
You think that I'm scared?
I don't know, Beth.
Are you scared?
Hmm? What happened to you?
Tell me.
You gonna say
any-fucking-thing? No?
No, I can play that game, too.
Cool.
I'll go back to bed.
# Before each other's face #
# Look into my eyes #
# Is it still there? #
# All that time #
Maddie?
Hi, Dad.
A friend of yours, Greg Hicks,
got married last week.
Did you hear?
No.
Yeah.
They had the wedding
over at the Episcopal church
on, uh, Fitz Morris street.
Hurricane knocked down everything
on that street except that church.
Is everything all right with you?
Yeah, same as usual.
That's good. That's good.
You need money?
Dad, I didn't come here
to ask you for money.
Well, I know you didn't.
I just... but it's okay if you...
if you need it.
I don't know how much I can give,
'cause your mother's insurance
got pulled again.
Who's there, Steven?
Tell me I'm not dreaming.
Hi, Mom.
My angel's come home!
Look at you!
Look how long your hair is!
Steven, why didn't you come
and tell me my little angel was here?
Well, I thought you were sleeping.
Sleep? Who has time for sleep?
Steven, did you get her some food?
Well, I... I didn't think
that she wanted any.
Yeah, no, I'm... I'm not hungry.
Oh, nonsense.
You sit right here,
and daddy will get you some food.
You are skinny as a scarecrow!
Daddy said you're doing
some telemarketing.
How is that going?
Uh, it's fine.
Oh, Maddie, please tell me
you're not still living
in that awful French Quarter.
I am still living
in that awful French Quarter.
Someone like you should not be
living in a place like that.
It's enough to tempt anyone.
- Is that meat?
- Uh-huh.
I don't feel like red meat.
My blood is thick today.
It needs poultry.
Want me to make you some chicken?
It's not very attractive
being so skinny, Maddie.
It makes your face sink in.
A woman should be soft and round,
the way God made her.
Mmm!
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mmm. Meat, yes.
Tell him everyone that you love.
Dear God, I love my mama,
my daddy, my uncle Pete.
Tell God you love His only son,
our Lord Jesus Christ.
Dear God, I love your only son,
Jesus Christ.
Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Tell Him to forgive you
for the sins you have committed.
What sins, Mama?
Tell Him your sins.
But I haven't sinned.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
Watch over my daughter, and
cleanse her of her wrong doings.
Put your hand on the Bible
and swear your life over
to Jesus Christ.
- I don't want to.
- Do it.
I swear my life over
to Jesus Christ.
I would have put
fresh sheets on the bed
had I known you were coming.
It's okay. I'm not staying.
Why not?
Because I have my own place.
You're being tempted living
in that awful French Quarter.
Oh, God, Mother, don't start.
You want to spend your days
in eternal hell?
As long as you're not there.
Listen to the filth
coming out of your mouth.
What has happened to you?
I wonder.
You're a heathen! Look at you!
I can see it in your eyes.
He's robbed your soul!
Dolly, come to bed now.
I can see it in her eyes, Steven!
She's got him crawling all over her!
Listen to how she speaks to me!
It's all right.
You just go on to bed.
Go on to bed. It's all right.
It's all right.
She's sick, honey.
She doesn't mean it.
You're still making excuses for her?
I'm not making excuses.
You're defending her.
Well, she loves you.
She thinks I'm Satan.
Oh, that's just...
that's just her sickness talking.
She doesn't really think that.
Well, she needs medication!
Just look... just...
Sweetheart, just...
Hey, keep your voice down.
Dad, why are you still
protecting her?
Well, I'm not protecting her, I...
Yeah.
Whatever.
Please, sweetheart...
Just, Maddie,
please stay the night.
We never get to see you.
I have work tomorrow.
Mama?!
Mama?!
Mama! Please!
I didn't do anything wrong!
Please don't leave me in here!
I didn't do anything wrong!
Okay, and here,
we'll just, once again,
use the little crisscross strokes.
That's a nice little gray sky there.
So, tell you what...
let's take some of that same color...
Just the black and the blue.
That's all we need.
Come on.
You know you want it.
You can add more of the black.
You can gray it down
or leave it brighter.
Dang! 89!
Lexy, shut up!
- Grace Matthews.
- Margaret.
Be right back.
Margaret, don't...
don't give me evil stares.
Margaret Jones.
Alexis, Grace, Margaret,
I have a very exciting project
I want to talk to you about.
Can you please all come
to the meeting area?
Alexis, shut up!
Just for about 10 minutes.
Um, I was watching that.
Sorry.
Grace, could you please
come over here?
Elizabeth! I was watching that.
Alexis!
Elizabeth, I'm...
I'm playing a game.
Alexis!
Okay.
I have three video cameras.
I want you to use these
to express yourselves...
any thoughts or feelings
that you may have.
Like a... like a diary?
Yes, like a diary.
Could you please cross your legs?
Thank you.
Here's your camera.
Here you go.
I don't have any thoughts.
I don't have any thoughts.
I don't have any memories.
I was watching the fucking TV.
I'm sure you'll think of something.
That is not okay.
That's inappropriate.
Pick that up, Margaret, now.
Margaret, pick it up,
'cause that's very inappropriate.
Pick it up.
Margaret, pick it up.
Pick it up. Pick it up.
Take the camera, Margaret.
I don't want to do this project
with any of you guys!
All right, that is not okay.
That is not okay. Sit down!
It is okay, okay?!
Get out of my seat!
It's not necessary, really.
She's fine.
Sit down.
I'll be waiting for you, sweetheart.
Shh. Shh.
Shh. It's okay. It's okay.
Ow.
How long have you been
having these blackouts
that you keep talking about?
Since I was 12... or 13.
And what's the longest
you've ever blacked out?
Two months.
Two months?
What happened?
I... woke up...
In New York on a subway.
And do you know
how you got there?
No, I don't remember anything.
And how do you know that you were
in New York for two months?
Um, because I found
a bus ticket in my bag
that said it was
from New Orleans to New York.
It must be really scary
to not be able to remember.
I can deal with it.
Why do you think you have to deal
with everything all by yourself?
Do you think I'm crazy?
I think you should
check yourself in to the hospital.
This is the first time in 13 years...
that I haven't taken medication.
I don't know...
I don't know
what's really happening. Uh...
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I know that...
I know that you can hear me.
I'm in my apartment right now...
And, uh... and...
I don't...
I don't really remember...
much of, like, where I've...
where I've been
and what I've been doing,
and, uh...
It's kind of a scary feeling.
The first time I tried to kill myself,
I was, uh, 13,
and my mom had
these crowns of thorns.
Um, and she had this particular one
that was really special to her.
And... and so I put that one
on my head.
And I cut my wrists and my ankles,
and I laid down on the floor
so that I was beautiful and peaceful,
just like Jesus.
And, um... and I thought
when she found me,
she'd be really happy,
because she loves Him so much.
Um, and then she...
she came into the room
and she saw me lying there.
And, um...
And she was really mad.
And... and that's when I knew
that she'd never...
never love me
as much as she loves Jesus.
The first time
I tried to commit suicide,
I was 16.
I got pregnant
and had to have an abortion.
I didn't have any money,
and I couldn't tell my parents,
so I had to have it done by this guy
who said he could do it real cheap.
But he messed up,
and now I can't have kids.
So, uh, here, Elizabeth.
Here's a little thought for you.
Every time you walk into the room...
I want to take your fucking face
and smash it against the ground.
Margaret, what are you doing?
- What are you doing? That is...
- Ahh!
This is not funny.
Fucker!
Why don't you let me do it?!
I have no... no concept of...
of time or what time is.
I don't understand it.
I mean, is it even real?
Because I don't remember...
I don't remember so many things.
What's your magical power
going to be?
I don't want one.
But you have to.
Come on, just pick one.
I want to be invisible.
But if you're invisible,
then I can't see you.
And if I can't see you,
we can't be friends.
We're friends?
Madison!
Madison, where are you?!
I have to go.
You don't have to go.
We can hide here.
She won't find us.
Madison Ann Walker,
I'm going to count to three!
Madison?
Huh?
Where were you just now?
Madison.
What?
Come sit down.
Why can't you look at me?
I don't know.
Well, if you ever feel uncomfortable,
you tell me, and we'll fix it.
Why are you being so nice to me?
Hasn't anyone ever been
nice to you?
We'll just, once again,
use the little crisscross strokes.
You can add more of the black.
You can gray it down
or leave it brighter.
It all depends on you.
You want to paint my nails for me?
Is it... is it at all possible
that you can not be a skank
for one second
when I'm watching my show?
No.
Get off my fucking couch.
Make me.
Yeah?
Margaret, come get your meds.
Just, once again,
use a little crisscross stroke.
- Bitch.
- Mm-hmm.
Checkmate.
Checkmate.
Checkmate. Checkmate.
Checkmate, checkmate,
checkmate! Aaaaaah!
Aah! Aaaaaah!
Checkmate.
Psst!
She can't help you.
Your precious doctor...
That isn't even a doctor.
She's just gonna make you worse.
And what makes you the expert?
Well, I've been here the longest.
I can see why.
You're gonna need me.
How's that?
- Leave her alone, Margaret.
- Shut up! You'll be the first to go.
You don't scare me.
I bet I can.
Aaaaaaaaaahh!
Aah! Stop it, Margaret!
Leave me alone!
Please leave me alone!
Let me go!
No! No! No! Aah!
Margaret, give it back!
Margaret, give it back! Stop it!
I don't think anybody
knows me anymore.
I'm... I'm a stranger...
I'm a stranger to everyone, and I'm...
I'm a stranger to myself.
Margaret, you're not meant
to be in my room.
Go now.
You're not meant to be in here.
You know that she's gonna...
watch those tapes and use them
to keep you locked in here, right?
Margaret, can you...
can you go now?
What? You think she cares?
Can you please stop this
and leave me alone?
Can you... can you go now,
please, Margaret?
Margaret, please, can you go now?
Please leave me alone.
Otherwise, I'm gonna tell.
I'll tell. I will. You know I will.
If you tell, then...
Then you're gonna go
where all the bad girls go.
No. No.
Because I'm not bad, Margaret.
You are very bad.
No, I'm not. I'm not bad.
- You're bad.
- Shh. Shh.
You're the one who's bad,
Margaret, not me.
I'm not... I'm not bad.
I want to talk.
No, please, I'm...
Just leave me alone, please.
Hey...
Tell me what that holy man
did to you in the car.
Margaret,
please leave me alone now.
Did he make you feel good?
- No. Please.
- Come on. Show me.
- No, please. I don't want to.
- Show me what he did.
Please, can you
leave me alone now?
- Did he make you feel good?
- Please, no, leave me alone.
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did.
No! No!
- Margaret, no!
- Shh!
Please get rid of her.
She's ruining everything.
Stop freaking out.
She's just crying, all right?
All right, all right.
I'll go, I'll go.
Whoo!
Uh...
Everything's really blurry.
Time's blurry.
My vision's blurry.
Alexis, you want to play unicorns?!
I'll play unicorns with you!
Elizabeth!
The sun turned black
from the face of the Lord,
and it turned black!
It turned black, the sun.
How can the sun turn black?!
The sun!
Yes, Mom!
I never do anything right.
I thought that you liked that.
# Can anybody hear me? #
Alexis, want to come play now,
you stupid ass?!
Come play in here!
You really enjoy
this circus act, don't you?
Why don't you just die?
I asked you not to go
into Alexis' room.
And I watched as the sixth seal,
and there was
a great, big earthquake,
and the sun turned to black,
like sackcloth made of goat hair.
Is that Revelation?
Did I ever tell you how my mom
used to put me in the closet
with the Bible every night
and make me memorize verses?
And you want to know
what would happen if I didn't?
Well?
This is what you want,
right, Elizabeth?
You want me to tell you
all of my problems...
so we don't have to talk about
what happened in your closet.
You know I know.
And that's why you hate me.
I don't hate you.
I don't even remember...
I don't even remember
what I was like on medication.
So, I mean, was I even a person?
Maybe I wasn't even real.
I mean, if you... if you don't...
if you're not yourself, right,
I mean, then what...
what's the point?
Like, I mean, what...
If you don't remember, I mean,
you're not really real.
Hey.
Can I come in?
Do you want a cigarette?
I don't smoke.
Well, you might as well.
There's nothing else
to do around here.
You know, I can get you
whatever you want.
What do you think I want?
Money...
Sex...
Fun...
You want to get high?
Are you insane?
You know Mike, Mr. Nurse man?
See, I blow him...
And he gives me whatever I want.
Trust me.
I'm on your side.
What?
I said...
I'm the one that's on your side.
The others don't give a shit
about you.
The others?
They're the ones that aren't real.
I...
How do I know you're real?
I'm here, aren't I?
Everything okay?
It's finished if you want to buy it.
Amazing, isn't it?
When you start to see yourself
in everything?
Huh?
I said are you sure you're okay?
Uh, yeah, I'm okay.
It'll come around for you soon,
Madison.
Madison.
Madison.
Hello?
Hello?!
Let me go!
Please stop.
Please.
Make it stop!
Please make it stop!
It's for your own good.
But, Mama,
I didn't do anything wrong.
You're talking to people
who aren't there.
It's the work of Satan.
But no one's there, Mama.
Come put your hands over the sink.
No, Mama.
Come put your hands
over the sink.
Please, Mama.
Put your hands over the sink!
What happened?
It hurts.
What hurts?
- Please, it really burns.
- What?
It hurts. The water... it's so hot.
There's no water.
- There is. Please make it stop.
- No, there's no water.
- Please make it stop.
- What's wrong?
I have to burn.
I have to burn because I'm bad.
- Who said that?
- I have to burn.
- Who said that?
- I'm going to hell.
You're not going to hell.
- I am.
- No, you're not. No.
I am. I'm going to hell.
No, you're not going to hell.
- I am.
- No.
Good people do not go to hell.
Do you know what I do
when I have scary thoughts?
What?
I close my eyes...
and I think of the happiest place
I know.
But... but I don't have
any happy places.
Everything's crashing on me...
Like waves. It's like tidal waves.
I feel like I'm drowning.
Our Father...
Who art in heaven...
Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come...
Madison, Madison,
come and play with me.
I can't.
See, you're talking again
to imaginary people.
But, Mama, she's right there.
Madison, come on.
Let's play.
Will you tell me more
about the little girl?
No.
Why don't you want
to talk about her?
I just... I just...
I, uh... can... can we talk
about something else?
What is it about her that makes you
feel so uncomfortable?
I'm not supposed to talk
about the little girl.
Why? Why aren't you supposed
to talk about the little girl?
'Cause she'll get mad at me.
Who?
Who's gonna get mad at you?
Please don't make me talk about it.
Madison.
Madison.
Madison.
My name isn't Madison,
you fucking bitch.
You push too hard
with your stupid little questions.
You're trying to break her.
I can feel it.
I'm trying to help you.
You're trying to help me?
I don't need help.
You need help.
Aah!
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no.
What's wrong?
What's going on?
- Stop it.
- What?
I can't talk to you.
Why?
Because she's gonna get mad at me.
Who's gonna get mad at you?
She's gonna hurt me if I tell.
Nobody's gonna get mad at you.
Madison, it's all right.
What are you doing?
What just happened?
It's okay. You're gonna be okay.
- No, I'm not gonna be okay.
- Yes, you are.
This is not okay,
because you're making me worse,
- And I really don't want to...
- You're gonna be okay.
It's not okay.
You're making me worse.
I know this is really hard.
You know what's fucking hard?
You know what's hard, Beth?
Is that I don't know
what you're talking about.
That's good. That's good.
You're getting angry.
That's really good.
When is the last time
you remember getting angry?
You never needed
to get angry before
because there was somebody else
who was always
getting angry for you.
- What are you saying?
- Somebody was protecting you.
- God, I knew this would happen.
- What would happen?
That I would trust you,
and you would screw me over.
Madison, look at me.
No, I can help you.
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name.
Look at me! Madison!
Are you deaf, you bitch?!
I said, "Don't say my name. "
Why can't you just
leave it alone, Beth?
What? Do you think I'm deaf?
You think I don't hear
what you say about me?
I'm trying to help you.
Shut up.
You called me,
and I came here to help you.
I didn't call you.
I...
I hate you.
She called you.
She's gonna die.
She is gonna die.
You're gonna die.
Stop.
She isn't real.
She isn't real.
I'm real.
She isn't real.
Real.
It's okay.
Just fucking stop.
Madison, let me be there for you.
Just let me be here.
Come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
- It's okay.
- I don't...
It's okay.
"What is real?",
asked the rabbit.
"Real isn't how you're made,"
said the skin horse.
"It's a thing that happens to you. "
- My turn?
- Go ahead.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes.
When you are real,
you don't mind being hurt. "
"Does it happen all at once?"
"It doesn't happen all at once.
You become.
It takes a long time.
That's why it doesn't often happen
to people who break easily,
or who have sharp edges,
or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally...
By the time you are real,
most of your hair
has been loved off,
and your eyes drop out,
and you get loose in the joints
and very shabby.
But these things don't matter at all,
because once you are real,
you can't be ugly,
except to people
who don't understand. "
- Mama?
- Yes, Maddie?
Am I real?
I get a lot of requests
from people wanting to do...
Checkmate.
So I thought today...
Hey, Madison.
Madison?
Madison, what's wrong?
What do you want, Alexis?
You want to come play with me?
Nope.
Why? What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You always say nothing's wrong
when something is always wrong.
Why don't you come play with me?
Come on.
Just one game.
- Do you see those people right there?
- Yeah.
They look like
they're having a lot of fun.
I think you should go play with them.
No, I want to play with you.
Checkmate!
Okay, okay.
Well, um, uh, we can play...
Yeah?
- Hide and go seek.
- Okay.
All right, so you're gonna go hide.
No, we did that the other day,
and you didn't come and find me.
Madison, you didn't come.
I've got a better idea.
Why don't we go play horses?
Come on. We can ride horses,
like we always used to ride horses.
- We can ride horses.
- No, there's no horses here.
What are you talking about?
We used to always ride horses.
Yeah, well, we're
in a hospital right now,
and I've never been on a horse
in my entire life.
Do you not remember?
Do you not remember
all those times we played horses?
- Please stop.
- Why are you being so weird?
- Please stop. Please stop.
- Come on, one game, Madison.
Why are you being so weird?
You don't remember anything?
What do you mean you don't
remember?! You do remember!
We used to always
play horses together!
- Please stop.
- You do remember!
- Stop it.
- You do! You do!
Shut the fuck up,
or I'm gonna smash your head
against that wall, okay?!
- You say the F-word all the time.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Stop saying the F-word
the whole time!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Go back to your couch!
Do... do I see a little bit
of personality in you?
Oh, yeah?
A little personality right there?
Yeah, yeah. Fine.
Come on, tough girl.
Come on, tough girl!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Oh, yeah.
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Fuck you!
Good job.
Bitches.
Madison, you did it.
You did it.
Don't tell Margaret.
Madison!
Madison, where are you?!
Madison!
You want to spend
your days in eternal hell?
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Well, I was sitting
in the front in his station wagon,
and he had, like, um,
these red plastic seat covers.
And it made a noise when he moved.
Um, and there was a plastic
Jesus figurine on the dashboard.
I know what you want me to say.
What is it that you
think I want you to say?
That they took advantage of me
because I was only 13.
I would rather slit my wrist...
or be fucking hung upside down
and beaten to a pulp
than have to talk to you.
Madison.
You are Grace...
and you are Margaret...
and you are Alexis.
They're all you.
No, because I didn't...
I didn't say these things.
Um...
And I know that they're real,
because I've...
I've talked to them and...
and I've talked to you about them.
And... you've talked to them...
Right?
I've only talked to you.
I've only talked to you.
I don't know what's going on.
Where are you going?
Can you take me with you?
Nope.
Why?
Because you...
Are gonna stay here.
But I want to be with you.
Well, you know, that's too bad,
because you're not coming.
But I want to stay with you.
Alexis, don't cry.
Please, please don't cry.
But... but why can't I come?
Why?
- Because I said so.
- But why?
Shh!
Why?
Because you're not real.
If you're watching this right now...
it's because you've forgotten
why you've locked yourself
in your apartment.
You've given yourself 30 days
to figure out
why you're so messed up.
Your phone's been turned off.
You don't have shit.
You don't have friends.
You don't have a job.
This is your last chance.
'Cause I swear to God,
if things don't change
in these next 30 days...
I will kill myself.
Hello?
Dr. Barnes?
Yes?
Madison is gonna die tonight.
Who is this?
Her friend.
Where's Madison?
Mama?!
Mama?!
Mama!
Are you Mr. Walker?
Yeah.
I'm a friend of Madison's.
Please come inside.
She ain't no doctor.
Can't you see she's got
the devil all over her?
She's got him coming out
of her mouth, Steven.
Look at how she's looking at me.
The Lord gives me His eyes,
and I see through
your wicked games.
Dolly...
Dolly, go on to your room.
Let me talk to her.
I'll take care of it.
I pray for your soul.
I'm sorry about that.
Some days are worse than others.
Are you sure you don't want
anything to eat?
I'm not hungry.
Well, why don't you have a seat?
Now...
What was it that you were saying
about Madison?
Madison checked herself
out of the hospital,
and, um, I'm really worried
that she might hurt herself.
Do you know where she is?
No, but, uh, you... you...
I think that you should
just stay right here until...
Until she comes around.
Do you mind if I ask you
a-a few questions?
Please, yes, do.
Did you know what was going on...
between Madison and her mother
when Madison was young?
Well, now...
I don't know what you, uh...
I don't know what you mean...
what you mean.
Did you travel a lot
when she was young?
Yeah, I did, I did.
Quite a bit.
And you weren't curious...
about all the trips to the hospital...
while you were gone?
Um...
Hospital... hospital trips.
That's, um...
Well, if you're gonna pretend
that you don't know what happened,
then it's not gonna help her.
And I think that you should... tell her.
What should I say?
That you're sorry.
Can we read that part again?
Which part?
The part about being real.
"What is real?", asked the rabbit.
"Real isn't how you're made,"
said the skin horse.
"It's a thing that happens to you. "
- My turn?
- Go ahead.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes.
When you are real,
you don't mind being hurt. "
I love my daughter.
I love her very much.
I know.
It's not worth playing
into her games like that.
What about it?
I have enabled her.
We know better.
We know better, Steven.
I just... it's just...
it's so hard for me, okay?
This is a dangerous situation, Steven.
I can't talk about it
anymore, darling.
I just can't talk about it anymore.
L-I know how difficult
this has been for all of us.
And your daughter is... is...
is, uh...
is...
Sweetheart, sweetheart...
You...
are...
our daughter.
I'm...
You understand?
- No.
- You understand?
You are.
You are.
Oh.
It's a little hard
for us to understand...
but...
Maddie, we'd like to help you
if we can.
Madison?
Yeah?
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
You should have told me.
I should have told you what?
That you weren't real.
I'm as real as you are.
And the others?
They real?
I don't care about the others.
I've only cared about you.
So, what happens now?
We say good-bye.
No. No good-byes, no good-byes.
Yeah.
It's time.
You're gonna be okay on your own.
You will.
You will.
# Wipe those tears #
# Away from your eyes #
# Just take my hand #
# You don't have to cry #
# It'll be all right #
# Baby #
# I'll make it all right #
# Don't let the world #
# Get you down #
# Reach for the love
that's all around #
# It'll be all right #
# Baby #
# We'll make it all right #
# I'll pick you up
when you're feeling down #
# I'll put your feet
back on solid ground #
# I'll pick you up,
and I'll make you strong #
# I'll make you feel
like you still belong #
# 'Cause it's all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Sometimes the words,
well, they're just not enough #
# Afraid of feeling
and in need of love #
# To make it all right #
# Baby #
# I'll make it all right #
# Where will you run to,
and where will you hide? #
# I know the pain comes
from deep down inside #
# But it'll be all right #
# Baby #
# I'll make it all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Make it all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Make it all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Stay with me tonight #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# It's all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# I'll pick you up
when you're feeling down #
# I'll put your feet back
on solid ground #
# I'll pick you up,
and I'll make you strong #
# Make you feel
like you still belong #
# And it's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# Let me make it all right #
# Make it all right #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Stay with me tonight #
# Don't let the world #
# Get you down #
# Reach for the love
that's all around #
# It's gonna be all right #
# Baby #
# It's gonna be all right #
# Wipe those tears #
# Away from your eyes #
# Just take my hand #
# You don't have to cry #
# It's all right #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# It's all right #
# Yeah, it's all right #
# Gonna make it all right #
# Mm-mm #
# Stay with me tonight #