Waking Up Dead (2022) Movie Script

1
(soft music)
(glass shatters)
- You gotta get
this fuckin' role.
You're gonna book this.
You're gonna book this one.
You're gonna book this one,
you're gonna pull
yourself out of
this fuckin' situation, okay?
(Danny exhales)
I know this is my last chance.
I won't let you down.
You gotta let me play,
coach. You gotta.
(phone buzzing)
Fuck! I'm gonna fuck this up!
I'm a fuckin' loser!
(door closes)
- Hey.
You remember me?
- Yeah.
It was that party in the
Hills a few months ago,
in the hot tub.
- I hit you up a
few times after.
- Been busy.
- You got a boyfriend?
- Mm-hm.
- Do you remember my name?
(Danny chuckles)
- We were going at in
that hot tub all night.
I remember you, Ernesto.
- It's Anthony.
- Open that cash
register,now.
- I'm from Yemen.
I don't understand.
-Now!
- [Phyllis] They
really like you.
They'll definitely
call you in again,
but they're gonna
go a little younger.
- Younger?
I'm 33 and everybody still
thinks I'm in my 20's.
- [Phyllis] Bitch, you're 35.
I gotta take this
call, Danny. Bye.
(Danny grunting)
- Goddammit!
He's some trick I fucked years
ago, before I even met you.
- And he's suddenly hitting
you up out of the blue?
- Eddy.
- Really?
- Hey.
- You expect me to believe that?
- Eddy, I would
never do you dirty.
(upbeat Spanish music)
Hey, come here, come here.
- Danny.
- You're the best thing
that has ever happened
to me, all right?
- Don't do this to me.
- Stop being stupid.
- Make me be able to trust you.
- You can trust me.
I love you.
(shower water pattering)
(man sighs)
- I can get you
thrown out for that.
- They comp my membership.
I'm the reason guys
join. (chuckles)
- Danny Maldonado.
Oh, it's so good
to see you again.
You know, everyone's
still talking about
your arc as the
necrophiliac rapist in SVU.
- Narcoleptic rapist.
I loved, loved doing that.
It was a great experience.
- Oh, well, when was that?
- You're doing this shit again?
- Two, three years ago.
- Five years.
- Five, five years. (chuckles)
Five.
Once I book a good role, I'm
gonna turn everything around.
No, I promise.
Listen, just don't
give up on me, baby.
Oh, what about the "Green
Acres" reboot at Netflix?
They castin' Latinos for that?
- [Phyllis] They're
going with Victor Rasuk.
- One other Dominican
in Hollywood
and he gets all
the fuckin' work.
- [Phyllis] I have to go, Danny.
Gotta take this call.
Bye.
- Bye.
- [Phyllis] All these
whiny fucking actors.
Like it's my fault
they can't get work.
I'm just a fucking agent.
- Um, Phyllis? You
didn't hang up.
I can hear you.
- [Phyllis] Jesus Christ, Jane.
When you hear me say, "I
gotta take this call,"
that means you're supposed
to hang up for me.
You're the worst
fucking assistant ever.
- So, so what have
you been up to?
- You know, keepin'
busy. Auditioning.
- [Jane] Sorry.
- [Phyllis] Fucking
useless millennials.
You're all a fuckin' pox
on the face of this earth.
Geez!
- [Jane] I said I was
sorry, Aunt Phyllis!
- Jesus.
- [Ilana] Things will pick up.
You've been down before
and you'll bounce back.
Auditions have
been so for me too.
It's a slow year, it is.
Avi and I are
having drama again.
(phone beeps)
- Fuck, I gotta go.
It's my sister.
- [Ilana] Oh, okay.
Love you.
- Love you, too, Ilana.
- [Sabrina] Danny, you
have to fly out here.
- It's not a good time.
(upbeat Spanish music)
- [Sabrina] I'll
send you the money.
- I got a big gig
lined up and I can't.
(phone beeps)
I gotta take this call Sabrina.
It's my agent and it's
about the gig. Okay?
Bye.
- [Woman] I'm in the pink blouse
right in front of Trader Joe's.
Where are you?
- I see you.
(upbeat Spanish music)
Claire?
(record scratches)
- [Jane] And Phyllis said to
tell you they really liked you.
They'll call you
in again real soon,
but they're going in
a different direction.
- What the fuck?
What the fuck?
(Danny grunting)
Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
(Danny breathing heavily)
What the fuck am I gonna do?
What the fuck am I gonna do?
(Danny sobbing)
- Excuse me?
I love actors and I
just wanted to say,
I loved you in "Raising
Victor Vargas."
- That was Victor Rasuk.
(Danny sobbing)
Oh, god.
- Oh.
Sorry.
(Danny sobbing)
- Oh god.
- But that was you
on "SMILF," right?
- That was Miguel Gomez.
- Oh, sorry.
- Fuck.
Fuck!
What the fuck am I gonna do?
- "Scandal?"
- Guillermo fuckin' Diaz, lady!
(upbeat music)
(soft tinkling)
(Danny sighs)
- What is up brotha?
Long time no see.
- Yo, Tony, thank you so much
for letting me crash here, man.
- Yeah, yeah, no problem.
Hey, thanks for taking
care of the place
while we're on vacay.
Nina's sorry she missed you.
She already flew out.
Is that everything?
(Danny scoffs)
- These days, yeah.
- Okay.
- Please, you are talking
to someone who spent
way too much time in
shelters as a kid.
Yo, this place is fire, son.
Come on.
- Yeah, well, with Nina
being a designer, she's
classed me up a bit.
(Tony laughs)
We're still settling in,
but as soon as we get
back from vacation,
she wants to get
started on the nursery.
- Come on.
Nah.
- Dude, where have you been?
I text blasted, emailed.
I'm gonna be a dad.
- Yo, aye, I'm
so, so sorry, man.
I've been busy with like so
much shit lately wrapped up.
This is great news, man.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Wow, look at you.
Can't believe that
you're gonna be a dad.
Wife-
- Right?
- Kid, this fuckin' house.
- Geez.
Dude, we were ballers back
in those bartending days.
(Danny laughs)
- Yeah.
(phone buzzing)
Oh.
Oh, it's my sister. It can wait.
- Yeah, come on. Let
me give you a tour.
- Please.
Wow.
- Hey, listen.
We didn't get a chance to
talk about you and Eddy.
- Nah, it was time to move on.
You know, I'm actually
more worried about him.
He took it pretty hard.
- Two years, right?
- Two years, three
months, one week.
Yeah, something like that.
- So you gonna be
okay by yourself?
- Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
I'm gonna, like, use
this time to decompress.
You know, read.
(birds chirping)
Definitely step back
from the industry.
You know, meditate.
- Uh huh.
(birds chirping)
- Definitely doing
all those things.
- Okay.
(phone pinging)
(birds chirping)
(upbeat music)
(Danny sighs)
- Fuck.
(upbeat music)
Fuck.
(Danny sighs)
(phone buzzing)
- Hello?
- [Woman] Hi, I'm looking
for Danny Maldonado.
- Speaking.
- Hi Danny, this is Kate
from Consolidated Credit.
Just wondering-
(Danny sighs)
- Aw, sh...
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
(Danny sighs)
Fuck!
What the?
Fuck!
(phone pinging)
(upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(phone buzzing)
Don't even offer to
pay for the flight.
I can't pay you back
what I owe you as it is.
- I don't care about the money.
It's really bad now.
This is it. You need to be here.
- You act like I owe
this woman something.
- It's not for her.
(car door closes)
- I gotta go. I got a rehearsal.
- Danny?
(upbeat music)
- Check it out.
I'm thinkin' of
doin' a one man show
and I'm gonna call it,
"No, I Will Not
Send You An Uber:
Stories of Trickin' Up In LA."
- Oh my God. It's so good.
You must. (laughs)
- Right? It's gonna be good.
Things are just
really slow right now.
Like everything is trans.
- Honestly, Danny, maybe
you should just cut it off.
Like imagine life
without your big dick.
- Ugh.
I'd read more, I guess.
- Good.
- And I'd finally
binge those last
two seasons of "Scandal."
- It'd be like a whole
new life for you.
That's all I'm sayin'.
Consider it.
(record scratches)
- When did you see him?
- Avi and I ran into him at
the ArcLight for like a second.
I shouldn't have said anything.
- Was he with a guy?
- He was with a friend.
- A guy?
- A friend that is a male,
a male that is a friend.
- Did Eddy ask about me?
- Not really.
Well he asked how you were doing
and I said that you were kind of
having a tough time right now.
Well, and then he said
that you spent your
entire life being selfish
and self absorbed and
that this is your karma.
(Danny scoffs)
I'm sorry.
(Danny sighs)
(Danny scoffs)
- Oh my God...
(birds chirping)
We're broken up for two months
and he's already running
around getting new dick.
Like who does that?
- You know what your problem is?
You think you have the
right to get away with shit.
You think you're owed.
(Danny scoffs)
- My mother was a drug addict.
If it wasn't for my sister,
I probably wouldn't
even be alive.
And you're telling
me I'm entitled?
(Danny scoffs)
Why are all my friends
beating up on me today?
- Only when we
stop playing victim
can we finally move forward.
- Whatever the fuck that means,
- You know what that means.
- Raven, I appreciate
you coming by today,
but I do not need your life
coaching shit right now.
- Excuse me?
I have 33,832
followers on Instagram
and I'm this close to
signing a major ebook deal.
- Wait, really?
- [Raven] Mm-hm.
- Dead ass?
- Dead ass.
Positive manifestation geared
to single women on
the dating scene.
- [Danny] Nice.
- It's called "Send Me No Ubers:
A Memoir of Learning
to Love Yourself."
(Danny mumbling)
- Oh, Jesus.
- What?
That's a fucking great
title, you Philistine.
(birds chirping)
(microwave whirring)
- [Woman] Hi Danny, this is
Kate from Consolidated Credit.
Just wondering if you're
ready to make a payment on-
- [Man] Hey bro, it's Antonio.
I know you're going
through a lot,
but I need to talk to you.
It's about Mikey.
(microwave beeping)
- Yo, come on.
I've been with Sprint
for like 10 years.
You guys can't gimme one
more payment extension?
Come on, just one more.
I really don't wanna have
to take my business
somewhere else.
Hey Jane, how are you?
Listen, I'm gonna leave Sprint
and I haven't selected
a new carrier yet,
so just giving everybody
my friend's home
phone number for now.
It's even got like this whole
answering machine and shit.
- [Jane] Why don't you
just get a new carrier?
- Okay, 323...
461...
(shower water pattering)
(upbeat music)
- Where's the fuckin' soap?
(Danny scoffs)
Fuck!
(Danny sighs)
(Danny sighs)
(birds chirping)
(Antonio sniffling)
- Listen to me.
I know cheaters.
Mikey's not one.
He's not playing you.
He's a great guy.
He loves you.
- Things haven't been the same
for like a couple of months now.
I feel like something is up.
You think I'm being paranoid?
- You know, I always
envied you and Mikey.
You're like a happy family.
- We are. I love that boy.
We're so happy,
it's fucking corny.
- Yeah, you guys
are fuckin' corny.
(both laughing)
Yeah.
(Antonio sighs)
I wish Eddy and I had what
you two have, you know?
Hey, stay calm. This will pass.
It's nothin'.
Don't you worry about it.
- You're a good friend, man.
Thank you for being here for me.
And I'm sorry for what
you're going through.
(Antonio sniffs)
Why do smell like Cascade?
- Mira, it's Dawn.
Not fuckin' Cascade.
(phone ringing)
(answering machine beeps)
- [Sabrina] Thank
you for the number.
It's not too late. You
could still make it in time.
Don't run away, Danny.
(Danny sighs)
(kiss smacks)
(Danny grunting)
- Fuck!
(Danny breathing heavily)
(Danny choking)
(Danny grunting)
(phone ringing)
(Danny grunting)
(answering machine beeps)
- [Jane] Hey Danny, this
is Jane from Aunt Phyllis's
from the Phyllis
Osgard Talent Agency
and I have great news.
(Danny choking)
You got called in for the new
Shonda Rhimes Netflix pilot.
And she called
you in especially.
She remembered you from CSI.
- SVU!
- [Jane] So give us a call back.
It's time sensitive.
(Danny choking)
(upbeat music)
(fabric rips)
(Danny screams)
- [Phyllis] You're a
pre-op transgender surgeon
who just got out of the OR.
- So I'm transgender,
male to female?
- [Phyllis] No, you're pre-op.
You've not had the surgery.
You're still male.
- You said I just
got out of surgery.
- [Phyllis] Listen to me.
You're a pre-op transgender
individual, still male,
but you're also a hot shot
surgeon riddled with demons
and you just got outta surgery-
- My surgery. I'm
operating on myself?
- [Phyllis] Whoever
heard of such a thing?
No, you were operating
on your mother
who revealed to you as you
were wheeling her into the OR
that she's a lesbian with
a crystal meth problem.
Plus she's in possession
of top secret information
that could bring down the
entire government of Singapore
in one fell swoop.
They've got Rosie
Perez pinned for that.
Also you have two lovers.
One is played by Peter Dinklage
and he has Lou Gehrig's.
I'm emailing you the
sides now, Danny.
Get me that tape by five.
- I'll print it out.
Oh my god.
(Danny exhales)
5:00 PM.
5:00 PM.
(upbeat music)
(phone pinging)
(Danny exhales)
- I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
- One more time.
Smile.
- I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
- That's right. You're
a grateful bitch.
- I'm a grateful bitch.
- You're a grateful bitch.
- I'm a grateful bitch.
- You're a grateful bitch.
- I'm a grateful bitch.
- Repeat your gratitude
affirmation constantly.
- I'm so grateful as I
book this book pilot.
I am so grateful as
I book this pilot.
- Next.
You want it?
Commit.
- Okay.
- So clean up your act.
- Okay.
- Get yourself in a
good, clean head space.
Drug free.
- Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
- No drugs.
- Mm-hm.
- You can do this.
- I can do this.
- You can do this.
- I can do this.
- You can do this.
- I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna book this pilot and
then I'm gonna get Eddy back.
Raven, thank you. Watch
me turn shit around.
- Thank you.
- Why does you cologne
smell like Palmolive?
- It's Dawn.
Why does everybody
keep saying that?
Clearly Dawn.
I am so grateful as
I book this pilot.
I am so grateful as
I book this pilot.
I am so grateful as
I book this pilot.
(Danny exhales)
5:00 PM.
Six hours.
I got this.
(soft tinkling)
Cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
Cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
Cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
Cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
Cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act
and I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act
and I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
Cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I am cleaning up my act
and I'm so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act
and I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act
and I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I'm booking this pilot
and I'm cleaning up my
act and I am so grateful.
I'm cleaning up my act and
I'm gonna book this pilot.
I'm cleaning up my act,
I'm gonna book this pilot.
I asked for 20 CCS of a pina...
Epinephrine and
some snot nosed RN
hands me after atra-atro...
Tropine, and I'm
supposed to calm down?
If I can't save my own mother,
what kind of doctor am I?
If I can't save my own mother,
what kind of doctor am I?
Get me the ambassador
to Singapore, stat.
I asked for 20 CCS
of apprenaphrene
and some snot nosed RN
hands me atropine...
Atro...
- [Computer] Endotracheal.
- Endo...
- [Computer] Endotracheal.
- Trach...
En...
If I can't even say
my own mother, what
kind of doctor am I?
- Ep, epiniphrene?
Stat!
- [Computer] Endotracheal.
Endotracheal.
- Endotrach...
En...
(record scratches)
Fuck.
(Danny sucks teeth)
Would it kill you to put
some fuckin' clothes on, man?
(Danny breathing heavily)
Fuck.
Fuck me, man. Fuck my life, man.
- [Lila] Tony.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
The door was ajar.
I texted Tony to say
I would be dropping by
with some paperwork
for the house.
I'm the realtor.
I'm Lila.
- You are so beautiful.
(Lila chuckles)
- Well, hello.
- You're an actress?
- Yes. (laughs)
I started very young,
modeling for department
stores and such.
- In London?
- Yes, yes.
London, swinging
London. (chuckles)
And then that led to commercials
and small parts in films
and I was a single mother, so
I took whatever came my way.
And then an American
agent signed me,
and so I packed up my boy
and off we went to Hollywood.
The year was 1971.
- Wow.
Hm?
- No, thank you.
I don't partake.
- What was Hollywood like then?
- Oh.
It was fabulous.
(both laughing)
The first party I
attended when I got here
was at Natalie Wood's house.
Everyone was there.
- No.
- Yeah.
Paul Newman, Joanne
Woodward, Robert Wagner,
although he and Natalie hadn't
remarried at that point.
Mia Farrow, Warren Beatty.
And everyone was so glamorous.
And in the middle of the party,
in walked this delicate creature
in the most divine dress
with her hair in rollers,
covered in a handkerchief.
It was Joan Collins.
- Oh really? From "Dynasty?"
- Yes, but that was years away.
- Did you work a lot?
- Quite a bit, yeah.
I made two films
with Frank Sinatra
and I worked with Ryan
O'Neal and Donald Sutherland,
all the biggest stars
of the day. (chuckles)
I was going to be the
next Julie Christie.
That's what everyone said.
Julie Christie.
Oh.
Oh, she was divine then and now.
She was nominated
for an Academy Award
a few years back.
- Oh, right, right, right.
She played a woman with AIDs.
- Alzheimer's.
- Alzheimer's.
Why'd you stop?
Acting?
- My son, Donnell.
He got into some trouble
when he was a teenager.
(Danny inhales)
Do you do that a lot?
- The vape?
Weed?
- Mm.
- I guess, I don't know.
It's legal now, right?
(both chuckling)
I don't know anything
about being a surgeon.
I barely got
through high school.
- You don't need a university
degree to play a surgeon.
(Danny sighs)
- Things were going
so well in my career
for a couple of years.
I was working a lot.
Everybody was saying
I was gonna blow up.
And then I just, I
started to choke.
I would get these, I would get
these panic attacks
before auditions.
I don't even know why.
I felt like I was so close,
like I was gonna make it
and then it all just fell apart.
It's like the universe
was saying, that's it,
that's all you get, now go back
to groveling and struggling.
It's all I ever knew, anyway.
Some days I just
wanna wake up dead.
That's what my mom used to say.
- And where is she?
Your mother.
- She passed.
- Okay.
On your feet.
Come on.
Stand up straight.
You know what you are?
You're a surgeon and
you're a damn good one.
Words are irrelevant.
This is what matters, Danny.
Tap into your pain.
That's your truth.
- I asked for 20
CCS of epinephrine
and some snot nosed RN
hands me atropine and...
Ah, I fucked up the line!
- It doesn't matter. Keep going.
- I ask for 20
CCS of epinephrine
and some snot nosed
RN hands me atropine
and I'm supposed to stay calm?
- Danny, why are you so angry?
- Because some RN almost
just killed my mother.
- Don't. Don't play anger.
Anger's banal.
What's behind the anger?
What's fueling it?
Guilt?
Self-loathing?
- Okay.
For years I was the hot shot,
the one that was going places.
I was the guy
everyone wanted to be.
Everyone...
But me.
Now I'm finally
figuring out who I am
and she reappears outta
nowhere, just to hold me back,
like she always did.
- What if it's funny?
That last line.
- Like she always did?
Well, his mother
reappeared out of the blue
with all her drama so all
the pain she caused him
is like flooding back.
He's crashing and burning.
- What if he's not
crashing and burning?
What if he's finding himself?
- Huh...
Let me look at the dialogue.
(phone ringing)
(answering machines beeps)
- [Sabrina] My brother.
This is it.
She's not coming back.
She probably won't make
it through the night.
- Sabrina, it's not a good time.
Can I give you a
ring back in a bit?
No, I'm rehearsing
right now. I gotta go.
I gotta, we'll talk about
it later, all right?
Bye.
- Who's dying, Danny?
Is it your mother?
- I haven't seen or
spoken to her in 20 years.
She's a drug addict. Can we
go back to rehearsal now?
- She's your mother.
- I don't have a mother.
My sister raised me.
You don't know what it's like
dealing with a selfish,
angry fucked up addict, Lila.
That's that's not your world.
- My son, Donnell.
I lost him to drugs. Heroin.
He was only 19.
It's not their fault.
- Yes. Yes it is, actually.
- No, it's not.
It's in their
genes. In their DNA.
We didn't know that then.
Oh, I was so angry with him.
Why wasn't he trying
to get better?
Why was he doing this to me?
Why wouldn't he just stop up?
I didn't know what
he was up against.
Where is she?
Your mother?
- Doesn't matter. New York.
- You must go to her.
(Danny scoffs)
- No.
- Oh, if it's the money, if
it's the money, I can help-
- No, stop it, I'm not
taking money from you.
- We can use my air miles and-
- Air miles.
- And it won't cost anything.
- Lila.
- Danny, I'm a mother.
Please let me help you.
- She would disappear on
us to hook up with guys
or go looking for drugs.
It didn't matter
how young we were.
We would wake up and
she'd just be gone.
One time, I must have
been like nine years old,
and she was gone for days.
So Sabrina and I went looking.
I knew this guy she
hooked up with a lot.
I knew where he lived,
so I went to his house.
My mother answered the door.
She started screaming at me.
Why was I always
causing trouble?
Why couldn't I just
leave her the fuck alone?
It was winter, it
was freezing out.
But I stood outside
and I waited for her.
People would walk by,
ask me if I was okay.
"No I'm all right.
My mom's just inside.
She's visiting friend.
She'll be out in a minute."
I was just happy
to find her alive,
to be honest with you.
You may be a mother, Lila,
but there's no
mother in this story.
There's no role for you to play.
I'm homeless, all right?
I have no money, I'm a failure.
This, this is all I have, okay?
I don't nail this,
put a bullet in me.
I'm done.
I don't need this, all right?
I can take it from here.
Thank you for your help.
Please.
- I understand.
Good luck, Danny.
- I gotta do this.
(timer ticking)
(skillet thuds)
(Danny grunts)
(Danny grunting)
(Ilana gasps)
- Oh God, Danny.
What...
Somebody's boyfriend
kicked your ass?
Jesus, what-
- Shh, shh.
I'm in pain, it's perfect.
You remember to
bring the makeup?
- Yeah.
- Okay, good.
- I got it.
- Let's do this.
- Such an idiot.
Oof.
(Danny wincing)
- Oh.
- Sorry.
Oh, this is covering up nicely.
- Three years I
was the hot shot.
I'm gonna be honest with you
and I'm gonna tell
you the truth.
I've been selfish
and self-absorbed.
- [Ilana] No.
- Because of everything
that I've been through,
I guess, like, I felt
like it gave me license
to always put me first, only
care about the next fuck.
- [Ilana] That's not true.
- It is.
For years, I was the hot shot.
The guy that was going places,
the one everyone wanted to be.
Everyone...
But me.
Now I finally know
who I am, you know?
And she reappears outta
nowhere just to hold me back.
(Danny chuckles)
Like she always did it.
- What are you gonna
do now, Dr. Rodriguez?
- I'm gonna go back in there
and I'm gonna stay
until she wakes
and I'm gonna make things right.
- Nailed it.
(Danny chuckles)
- Feels good.
- Oh. I'm proud of you, Danny.
- Thank you.
- Seriously, that
was so terrific.
- Oh, come on.
- Why do you smell like Ajax?
- It's Dawn.
- [Phyllis] I've got a good
feeling about this one, pal.
Sending it to them right now.
- Thank you, Phyllis.
Thank you for everything.
- [Phyllis] Talk soon, Danny.
- Bye.
(Ilana chuckles)
Oh my God. Ugh.
(Ilana sighs)
(Danny sighs)
I just wanna, I wanna book this
and I wanna call
Eddy and tell him
that I turned everything around.
I want him to
believe in me again.
- Totally.
- Hm.
How are you? How
are things with Avi?
- Things are great.
(Ilana gasps)
I actually have some exciting
career news of my own.
- Go on.
- I booked a callback for the
Brady Bunch revival on Hulu.
- Oh my God.
- It's just like
the original series
except Alice is undocumented
and Bobby has gender
identity issues.
- That is so great. Who
are you reading for?
- Carol's ex-wife.
Ah!
(Ilana chuckles)
(timer ringing)
- I am so grateful
as I book this pilot.
I am so grateful as
I book this pilot.
(toilet flushes)
(Danny sighs)
So grateful as I
book this pilot.
I'm so grateful-
- What?
- As I book this pilot.
I'm so grateful as
I book this pilot.
I'm so...
(phone ringing)
Hello?
- [Phyllis] I have one
question for you, buddy.
What is the almost
cast, soon to be star
of the hot, new Shonda Rhimes
Netflix series want for dinner?
Because I'm taking you out.
- Oh my God, I'm pinned?
- [Phyllis] You're pinned, boo.
- Well when will
we know for sure?
- [Phyllis] Soon, maybe even
by the time I see you tonight.
I'm gonna take you to some
place real expensive looking.
Picking you up at six.
Give Jane your address and
make her repeat it back to you.
She's a fuckin' moron.
- Okay.
(line drops)
(Danny sighs)
(Danny laughs)
- So I had a really
great time, papi.
- Yeah.
- And you know, I could
tell you did, too,
so you know, when are
we gonna hang again?
You know, 'cause your
cock is incredible.
- Thanks. Five stars on Yelp.
Don't forget.
Dale.
(phone line trilling)
Please don't hang up.
I got great news.
(Eddy scoffs)
- [Eddy] What is it?
- I'm pinned for the
new Shonda Rhimes pilot.
It's a series regular.
It's the lead.
I finally got my shit together.
- [Eddy] I'm so happy for you.
- Eddy, I'm so sorry
for everything that
I put you through,
but I wanna celebrate with you.
Will you come to
me, baby, please?
I am so grateful as
I book this pilot.
So grateful as I
book this pilot.
I'm so-
(phone buzzing)
So there's liquor and
mixers if you wanna drink.
Tony left the place pretty
empty, but the bar is stocked.
- I'm good.
- There's no real food.
There's some leftover Chinese
that Raven brought
over the other night.
I can microwave it for us.
- I can't hang for long.
- You got plans?
- Mm-hm.
- Work, you gotta
teach a yoga class?
- Mm-mm.
- What, you got somewhere to be?
- Mm-hm.
- With the guy that Ilana
and Avi saw you with?
- This place is beautiful, man.
- With the guy that Ilana and
Avi caught you with, right?
That guy?
- Tell me about the series.
- Okay.
So I play a surgeon whose
mother is a drug addict
and a lesbian and she
gets brought into the ER
with an overdose, so I
gotta try to save her life.
- Wow. Wow, okay.
- Get this, get this.
I'm transgender.
About to have the
surgery, male to female.
- That's ironic.
- What?
- That you're playing a
transgender individual.
You were always pretty
transphobic, dude.
(Danny scoffs)
- Me?
No way. What?
No.
- Yes way, actually.
- Uh, not at all.
I think they are so brave,
plus they're so in right now,
so it's got like awards
potential for me and shit.
- You won't be
winning on any awards
for self-awareness,
that's for fucking sure.
- Eddy.
What'd I do?
(Danny sobbing)
Please don't leave me.
Don't go.
I don't know what to do.
I love you.
(Danny sobbing)
I'm sorry.
(Danny sobbing)
(kisses smacking)
(Danny sobbing)
(heavy breathing)
(kisses smacking)
- Danny?
- Yeah, baby?
- You're not hard.
- This has never
happened to me before.
And things were finally
starting to go well again.
- It doesn't matter.
- I'm a top. It matters.
Wait, you mean that
the important thing
is that you're here with me?
That's what matters?
- I mean, I don't really care
that you can't
fuck me right now.
You're not that good in bed.
(Danny scoffs)
I've had better sex.
- We had sex all the time.
I fucked you constantly.
You love my dick.
- I liked having sex with
you because I loved you.
But you're lazy in bed.
You coast off your dick.
(Danny scoffs)
You're a good kisser, I
like the way you hold me.
You know, you have a great body-
- Hey, okay, every
guy I've ever fucked
has hit me up and
begged me to come back.
All right, you
wanna see my phone?
You wanna see how many guys
are hittin' me up 24/7?
- I've seen.
- That's not what I...
Eddy.
Where are you going?
- To get some dick.
(Danny sighs)
- Fuck!
(door slams)
(birds chirping)
(doorbell chimes)
- Swanky, swanky.
I see somebody saved
their residuals
from their big stint on SVU.
(Danny laughs)
- I wish I had.
I spent all that money on blow
and tricking up in
Miami for the summer.
- At least you didn't waste it.
- Hey, I know you're driving,
but you want a drink?
- Oh, no.
God forbid the
po-po pulled me over
and hit me up with a
breathalyzer again,
spread eagle in a cheap car.
Let's stick with this.
- I'm in.
(Danny chuckles)
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
(Danny and Phyllis laugh)
(Phyllis snorts)
(Phyllis sighs)
This is great shit.
- My guy Jacob's the best.
Here's his card.
- Oh.
You know, Phyllis, after
I book this series,
I wanna make some
changes in my life.
- Just don't go into recovery.
It makes people boring.
- Well, I wanna start
to give back, you know?
I wanna do stuff for the trans
community, the environment.
- Can I just say something?
And it's not like I'm a
Trump supporter or anything.
Well, what's so bad
about global warming?
I mean, who the fuck
doesn't like warm weather?
Have you ever been
to Palm Springs?
Everybody's happy.
Those queens, they're just
grinnin' from ear to ear.
I mean they're old,
but they're happy.
I mean, think about it.
Have you ever met
anybody in your life
that woke up and said,
"Geez, I wish it was fuckin'
freezing balls out today,"
because I haven't,
and I know everybody
that's worth
knowing, believe me.
(Phyllis snorts)
- I want this series to
start a new chapter for me.
I gotta grow up, Phyllis.
- Danny, you didn't
get the pilot.
I got the call on
my way over here.
They just decided it
was more appropriate
to go with an actual
trans performer.
Look, it's nothing personal.
It's just everything
about you is wrong.
- Okay, um...
Well the good thing
is I'm starting
to get my heat back, right?
So I'm feeling momentum again.
Maybe at dinner tonight,
we can strategize
about how to build
on this, right?
It was, I mean I was
pinned, so it was close.
Phyllis?
- Danny, we're dropping
you as a client.
You're just not booking.
Look, it's not me. I love you.
It's those assholes
down at the agency.
They just don't see what
I see. What can I do?
- But it's your
agency. You own it.
- You ever wonder
why there's so many
assholes on the
face of this earth?
Because there are
assholes everywhere.
Like today I was driving
down Laurel Canyon
on my way to see you and
I got stuck at a light
behind one of those transport
vans for disabled people.
You know what I'm talking about?
And let me tell you,
these disabled people,
they took their sweet fuckin'
time gettin' on that van.
I mean, you would've thought
that the whole world
revolved around them.
They could give a shit
about anybody else.
What a bunch of assholes.
So there I am, stuck
behind that fucking van,
unable to get past, but
that's when I got the call
that you didn't get the pilot.
And I was like, wow.
Well now I have time to
cancel my dinner reservations
and make plans with one
of my working clients.
So you see, Danny,
those disabled people,
they were fuckin' assholes,
but they served a purpose.
And it's the same thing
down at my agency.
Each and every person that
works for me is an asshole.
You've been down at the agency.
Haven't you ever
been in that office
and thought, wow, these
people are really assholes.
But here's the thing,
that's why I hired them.
Because now I can
sit here with you,
my very dear and good friend,
and I can say, Danny, I'm sorry.
The assholes down at the agency
are insisting that I let you go.
What can I do? They're assholes.
But without them
there to hide behind,
I'd be the one dropping you.
I'd be the asshole. And
I'm not an asshole, Danny.
I'm your friend.
You're gonna turn this around.
You will.
You've got that star quality.
(Danny scoffs)
And when things
swing back your way
and you land that perfect role
and you step up to that podium
to collect your Golden
Globe or SAG Award or Oscar,
I want you to know that
when you turn around,
there I'll be, right beside you,
acting like I was
there the whole time.
In this town, Danny,
that's the closest thing
to true friendship
as you can get.
So you hang in there, sunshine.
(Danny sobbing)
(phone ringing)
(answering machines beeps)
- Danny, she's dead.
Why did you make me
go through this alone?
(Sabrina sobbing)
(Danny sobbing)
(knocking on door)
- Oh.
Hello, Danny.
How are you?
- I never wanted
to succeed for me.
It was always for her.
- Your mom?
- No, my sister.
I don't think I ever
made anyone happy.
Not her, not Eddy.
No one.
- I had to put him
in a rehab facility.
It was the third try, but he
ran away with his girlfriend
and they ended up in some seedy
hotel outside Los Angeles.
And of course the
first thing they did
was score some heroin.
She shot him up.
He was only 19, but
he was already so sick
and his body couldn't handle it.
He began to choke
on his own vomit
and then he began
to have convulsions.
And she panicked, then she fled.
You know, sometimes
I struggle to recall
the sound of his voice.
So many years have passed.
(Lila sighs)
Some days, I think
I've forgotten it
for good and I panic.
And then suddenly I can
hear it in the distance
and it brings me such relief.
But I know the day will come
when I will have
forgotten it for good
and then all I will
have left is the guilt.
My son died choking on his own
vomit on a motel room floor.
No one was there to hold him.
He left this world alone.
"The moment we ceased
to hold each other,
the sea engulfs us and
the light goes out."
James Baldwin.
Donnell's favorite
American writer.
Go to her funeral, Danny.
Don't let her leave
this world alone.
You've hit bottom and
that's a terrible thing,
but it's also a good thing.
Things can only get
better from here.
- No.
It can get worse, I've learned.
(Lila sighs)
- I have to show a
house in the Palisades.
Can I come back later and
take you out to dinner
and we can talk?
(Lila shouts)
- Give up on me, lady.
- You're right.
You haven't hit bottom.
You're still a
self-absorbed shit!
- You couldn't even
save your own son, Lila.
And you can't save me.
(Lila sobbing)
(door closes)
(phone ringing)
(answering machine beeps)
- [Jane] Hello, Danny.
This is Jane from the
Phyllis Osgard Talent Agency.
I have great news.
Shonda Rhimes wants
you after all.
The actor they offered
the role to dropped out.
- Oh my God, oh
my God, oh my God.
- [Jane] Hey Danny.
The actor they offered
the role to dropped out.
She booked the second lead
in the new "Howard the
Duck" reboot at Sony.
- Great.
- [Jane] So you're in?
You need to meet Shonda ASAP.
How soon can you get to
the Shondaland offices?
- Um, gimme like 45 minutes.
- Great. I'll email
you the drive on.
- I'm so happy.
I love you, Jane.
- [Jane] We love you too, Danny.
And Phyllis wanted
to let you know,
we take the commission on this,
having dropped you
not withstanding.
- Sure thing.
- [Jane] Bye Danny.
- Bye.
(shower water pattering)
(Danny humming)
- I'm a horrible person.
(punch thuds)
(Danny grunts)
(phone ringing)
(punch thuds)
(answering machine beeps)
- [Phyllis] Hey superstar.
So fucking proud of you.
Now you can show these
asshole down at the agency
what you're capable of.
(punch thuds)
(Danny grunts)
(shrill ringing)
(soft tinkling)
(phone ringing)
(Danny coughing)
(answering machine beeps)
- [Jane] Hello,
Danny, it's Jane.
Aunt Phyllis can't believe
you bailed on Shonda Rhimes.
You blew this, Danny.
She said to tell you
we're dropping you again
and you should no longer
consider her your friend.
(Danny grunts)
(Danny panting)
(Danny coughing)
(Danny grunts)
- [Answering Machine]
The service you are
attempting to use
has been restricted
or is unavailable.
Please contact customer
care for assistance.
Message TX-
(Danny yells)
- [Jacob] Jacob J.
- [Danny] Phyllis Osgard
gave me your number.
- [Jane] Okay?
- [Danny] I need a delivery.
- [Jane] Cash only.
(Danny scoffs)
(Danny breathing heavily)
(insects buzzing)
(phone line trilling)
- Hey Eddy...
(insects buzzing)
- [Phone] Message deleted.
(doorbell chimes)
- It's open.
(doorbell chimes)
It's open!
(insects buzzing)
- You Danny?
(Danny chuckles)
- One and only.
(Danny coughs)
- What happened to your face?
- Had a bad breakup. With life.
(Danny coughs)
- That supposed to be funny?
- I keep trying to move forward.
You know, taking steps,
living the dream.
- [Jacob] I hear you, man.
- Just trying to get
to where I want to be.
You know, so many times
I thought this is it.
I'm gonna call my sister
and I'm gonna say,
"I finally made it.
I've arrived.
I'm in Hollywood."
(Danny sucks teeth)
This is just too tough for me.
- [Jane] Well...
Life is tough.
- Yeah.
Yeah it is.
(soft music)
- [Jacob] Let me see your vein.
There you go.
Pump your fist.
Come on.
Okay.
That's good.
All right?
- Ow.
Ow.
- [Jacob] Nice.
- More.
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
(Danny breathing heavily)
- [Jacob] Can you let go?
- Wow, that's...
That's...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
- [Jacob] There you go.
- Hey, Jacob.
Thank you.
Really.
- You want me to lock
the door behind me?
Danny?
Hey.
(snaps fingers)
Over here, over here.
(snapping fingers)
(Jacob whistles)
Do you want me to lock
the door behind me?
All right.
- Oh that's...
That's nice.
Oh that's nice.
I just wanna go to sleep.
Eddy.
You got my message?
I'm so glad you're here.
(water running)
(Danny puking)
I'm so sorry for
how I treated you.
I know I need your forgiveness.
We just got to the east coast
to see my sister and I can't.
- [Phyllis] But you can record
yourself on your iPhone.
It's so easy.
- Nah, I think I'm
gonna skip this one.
- [Phyllis] All right.
I'll let 'em know.
- [Danny] Hey, we'll
get 'em next time.
- [Phyllis] Bye Danny.
- Bye Phyllis.
- Bye Eddy.
No, Jane.
You cannot take a lunch.
You're a fucking intern.
Good God, you're a waste
of millennial space.
(Danny laughs)
- Bad day at the
office for Jane.
- [Eddy] Apparently.
- Poor thing.
- Oh my God.
I'll be back in a minute.
You want anything?
- No, thanks. I'm fine.
(Danny clears throat)
(gentle music)
These guys...
- [Woman] What the fuck
is wrong with you, man?
You stupid?
Fuck, man.
What are you, stupid?
I gotta tie your
fuckin' shoelaces?
Really?
You know what? I can't
do this shit, man.
I gotta pee.
(melancholy music)
- What's up, little man?
Hey, you want me to show
you how to tie your laces?
Yeah? All right.
So check this out.
So first make bunny ears
like that. See that?
- [Boy] Uh huh.
- All right and then
you cross 'em over
and you make an X like that.
And then you pull
the bunny ears out.
Go ahead.
Easy, right?
(Danny chuckles)
- [Woman] Rico!
I'm sorry, love.
(doorbell chimes)
- [Lila] Danny?
- [Woman] Mama gets a
little crazy sometimes,
but mama loves you.
Look, I got you a treat.
- Hey.
- [Lila] Danny?
- You're loved,
remember that, okay?
And don't lose your way.
Now go to her.
(Sabrina laughing)
- [Sabrina] Hi,
come. Give me a hug.
(all laughing)
- I'm such an adult now.
I don't even know who
I am anymore. Tell her.
- He's making great strides
into near adulthood.
(all laughing)
(banging on door)
(melancholy music)
- Danny?
(Danny choking)
Don't panic. It's
all right, Danny.
I'm here. Don't panic.
Don't panic.
Now, come on. That's it.
That's it, giving
it up. That's it.
That's it.
(Danny cough)
Good boy.
That's it. Get rid of it.
That's it, get rid of it.
(Danny coughing)
That's it.
Good boy.
Oh, you're doing it.
(Danny gasping)
Here we go.
Here we go.
Good boy.
Good boy.
(Danny sobbing)
Oh, good boy.
Can you feel me?
- [Danny] I can feel you, Lila.
I can feel your warmth.
- [Lila] Good.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay.
There you go.
You're okay now.
You're okay.
- Come here.
You're doing great.
(Sabrina chuckles)
(water running)
(door creaks)
- Hello.
(soft music)
- There's so much I
wanted to say to you,
so on the plane, I
wrote it all down.
(soft acoustic music)
Sis...
(soft acoustic music)
(soft acoustic music)